McKone's Granny Hates Bobby

Speaker 1 Hey!

Speaker 1 We got new merch. Look at the shirts, baby.
Look at the shirts. We got new nerds.
Everybody's on it, by the way. You can see who there's

Speaker 1 Fancy's on it. Bobby's down at the bottom with me, little dogs.
There's Fancy. There's Rudy.
The goop dog even made it on here. He's a goop.
Where is he? He's up top.

Speaker 1 You want to be Hollywood?

Speaker 1 Come get this shirt. Go get it at badfriendsmerch.com.

Speaker 1 Badfriendsmerch.com. Go get this.
We've also got new mugs. Everybody, look at these mugs.
New coffee. If you're not drinking coffee out of this, you're dumb.
You're dumb, dude.

Speaker 1 Drink coffee out of this. Go to badfriendsmerch.com.
You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 You two or something. We're bad friends.
You know, last night it was Margaret, Arsino, and I just was sitting in that room going,

Speaker 1 I mean, when I was younger, before I even did comedy, like they were in the scene. And I was like, I mean, you never thought that you would ever do shows with them.

Speaker 1 I mean, Arsinio, for sure, because I didn't know if he would come back and do stand-up as much as he's doing.

Speaker 1 I thought he would, because also, by the way, I got on stage and I made, I was like joking around about him. Yeah.
Because I was like a legend, like, give it up for that guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then I made like a dumb joke. You know, when you'd like do a joke, you're like, that's not true.
Why did I do that just for the laugh? Like, I was like,

Speaker 1 well, because I was like, he, I love that he knows who I am. And I was like, he calls me, you know, Andre Santigli, but I still like it.

Speaker 1 That was a funny joke. And they got a laugh, but it's like, that's not true.
I just said that just for the bit, but the crowd loved it. I was like, he knows who I am.
He's very nice to me.

Speaker 1 Why did I do it? When you said that, he looked at you. No, he didn't.
And then he walked out the door in a sad way.

Speaker 1 A, you're lying because you were in the room. And B, I watched him in the corner.
He laughed. Yeah.
You were in the back with Margaret playing with her dog. Yeah, I like to mouthkiss her dog.

Speaker 1 But my point is, is this. Time out.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about it.

Speaker 1 Last night,

Speaker 1 this guy, I'm sick. Remember when he got all

Speaker 1 remember when he got emotional about the Netflix dinner he didn't get invited to?

Speaker 1 And last night he comes in with Margaret. He's like, how good was that dinner? They went to like an Asian inclusion dinner or whatever.
And it was all the famous Asians.

Speaker 1 And he got invited to that, didn't you? And you bragged about it. All the famous Asians that were there.
Name the famous Asians that were there. Go ahead.
Oh, the famous Asians? Name them all.

Speaker 1 Okay, that guy from Allie Woods. No, no, no, no.
She wasn't there. I'm going to tell you right now.
She wasn't? Yeah. I'm going to tell you right now.
I'm going to tell you right now, right?

Speaker 1 Who's there? The dude from Revenge of the Nerds, that Asian.

Speaker 1 Did he write the bikes? Oh, I love that guy. You don't even know his name, dude.
Nah, who cares? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy that invented

Speaker 1 the shape of the dumpling. Oh, right.
Yeah, yeah. Actually, the ingredients, no, but the shape.
They base it off of you. Yeah, so there wasn't a dinner.

Speaker 1 Who was that? It wasn't a dinner, dude. You're lying.
There was a famous Asian dinner, and he went, and they talked about it all night.

Speaker 1 There's Asian dinners all the time that are famous, but no one gives a fuck about those things. I've always been invited to those things.
All right. Who threw it? I'm the King Ching Chong, dude.

Speaker 1 I paved the way for all the other Ching Chong.

Speaker 1 They always invite me. Who threw the party? Is that someone's house? No, it was at a gigantic thing, dinner thing, outside downtown.
Who throws it? I have to look it up. It was an organization.

Speaker 1 I forgot. What is it called? AAPI? Is it AAPI? No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Is it Asian American Pacific Islander? No, it's not that. It's hold on.
Is that what it's called? Excellence. No, it's not Asian's Excellence.
Hold on. May 1st to May 31st.
Oh, we're almost out of it.

Speaker 1 No, no, hold on.

Speaker 1 Asian. So AAPI, that's Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage.
What was the

Speaker 1 whole month of May? We had the dinner call. They give black people February, and it's 28 days.
And these guys get 31 days. That's insane.

Speaker 1 These Asians, dude. That's out of control.

Speaker 1 Although there are significantly more of them. That's true.
Yeah, so I always go to that. So who was there? Who was there? John Cho, Stephen Young, Michelle Yao.
Huge, huge.

Speaker 1 All the Olympics, the guys of gold,

Speaker 1 the Chinese guy that's great at the Olympics, the skates. Which team?

Speaker 1 The basketball team? The Olympic men's basketball team?

Speaker 1 None of them. Yeah, none of them.
Fencing.

Speaker 1 Guys, you know, it's so funny what you guys are doing there. Archery?

Speaker 1 Look at us ice skate.

Speaker 1 Glorious.

Speaker 1 The movement. It's mostly Russians ice skating.
No, we have a Chinese guy. What's his name? Nathan Chang.
We talked about him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's so good.

Speaker 1 Anyway. Yeah, Zun

Speaker 1 Zun Yi. That's on him.
Zu Yi. Anyway, so they were there, and then like, we bought his.
Oh, you know, Asif Ali was there. Asif Ali.
Right, this is the thing that bothered me last night.

Speaker 1 Asif Ali, old friend of mine he also goes oh yeah and w kamal bell i go he's black by the way none of those guys are asif ali that we're talking about yeah why do you pull that that guy up just another guy named w kamal bell that's the first one in one yeah

Speaker 1 w kamal bell is there and i said why was he there and bobby said we invite blacks too that's what he said

Speaker 1 we do you let in we invite blacks and we invite um some hispanics who have kind of chinese eyes and then we also invite we do you have to either get high. If you're Mexican, you got to be high.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 There he is. There's Asif.
We love him. He's so talented.
So anyway, but he's Indian, which is Asian. That is Asian.
So it counts. W.
Kmal Bell, he's a black guy, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but he fucks with Asians. Everybody fucks with Asians.
You don't fuck with Asians. You ridicule and you oppress them.

Speaker 1 He built us up. I've spent my life fucking with an Asian.
This has ruined my life. So you got sick morning, would you wake up sick? You missed our call with Hulu?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I woke up sick, and then I have to go and do Logics movie tomorrow. I'm dreading it, but also,

Speaker 1 and then I had a rush to do a lunch.

Speaker 1 And there was a,

Speaker 1 I did a lunch with this guy. He's like, this guy, you know what I mean? He's a historian guy.
He's pitching me something, and he goes,

Speaker 1 He goes, you know about Genghis Khan? I go, yeah, I know. He's a guy, Wanderer, right?

Speaker 1 A Chinese guy, or whatever. He's like, no, no, no.
This is what. So he had a shaman, Genghis Khan.
Okay. And

Speaker 1 Genghis Khan had gout.

Speaker 1 That lines up. Yeah, yeah.
And then the shaman goes, the way you get rid of gout, I swear to God, he goes, you got to kill 40 children, and then you got to stomp on their organs.

Speaker 1 You've never read that? I read that. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. And so he did it, right? And then it didn't work.
So he tried it again. He tried it twice.
80 kids?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he tried it down. And then I was thinking, God, I wish I was Genghis Khan's shaman.
Yeah. Yeah.
Clean my house. That's how you get rid of God.
Twice. Twice.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, you could have him do anything you want. So who was his? Was this guy pitching you to play his shaman in a movie or something?

Speaker 1 He wanted to replay the guts.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude. Oh, you're good.
I'm so good at guts, dude. Genghis Khan, how many people did he conquer? What was his deal? He had sex with like a thousand people a day, something absurd.
No, he didn't.

Speaker 1 No, that's what they said. It was something insane like that.

Speaker 1 Genghis Khan.

Speaker 1 How many

Speaker 1 4,000 different women?

Speaker 1 Holy moly. That's fucking consensual.

Speaker 1 It It has to be consensual. Yeah, sure.
Consensual? Uh-huh. He's just.
By the way, he was alive in what was the time period again? He died in, like,

Speaker 1 go up, go back a page. Yeah, 1227.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Real consensual. Yeah.
Nah, it's caveman era, bro. There were some woke people back then.

Speaker 1 In 1100? Yeah,

Speaker 1 so I doubt it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, have you seen some of the photos of the Mongolians? They had blue hair. Yeah, Pierce.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and they cosplayed. They were all trans.
So let me ask you something, too.

Speaker 1 Cut it out. I don't even know what's going on.
But let me say something, too.

Speaker 1 Tell me about this historian. Did you have a good time with him? The historian? Yeah, he took.
Was it worth missing the Hulu call this morning? About the first time. Wasn't that the show?

Speaker 1 It wasn't that. It wasn't that? No.
You were already.

Speaker 1 Well, what happens is, I'm sorry, pal, my bud. Don't say sorry to me.
Say sorry to Hulu. They didn't care.
They did. They didn't.
First thing on the call is Bobby going to join?

Speaker 1 Yeah, what does that mean? And then when they said, oh, he's not going to join. What are they? Oh,

Speaker 1 we got to cut this guy loose. He's hard to deal with.

Speaker 1 I can't wait till it does happen. Yeah, what? I can't wait till we just can't deal with Bobby.
I'm just a little too

Speaker 1 inconsiderate of all of our time. Dude, first of all, can I say something? I forgot about it.
I know you didn't. And that's a good thing.
I reminded you last night. That's true.

Speaker 1 I said, I'll see you on the call tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I thought you mentioned this is you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 This. I'll see you on the call.
You think this is a call? We're calling each other right now, but it's. Am I not calling you? Hello.
Hello. Hi.
There we go. Okay.

Speaker 1 I don't hear you like this. I hear you through here.

Speaker 1 It's a call. How long is too long to wait for your coffee at a coffee shop?

Speaker 1 10 minutes. They refund.
Okay, I walked out. No.
Walked out.

Speaker 1 Which one? I can't put it in. It's 10%.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to say it. I can't put it.
I know which one it is. It's a mom-and-pop thing.
I'm not going to put them on black. If it was Starbucks, I'd fuck it.

Speaker 1 I'm going to do one that's really really good that I go to all the time.

Speaker 1 20 minutes. I'm not kidding.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 But isn't that the place they use the mushroom? Chaga? Yeah. I walked back in and I was like, excuse me.

Speaker 1 Did you guys,

Speaker 1 am I in line? And the guy's like, we have a lot of to go orders, man. I was like, you got it.
I left. I paid for the coffee and I left.

Speaker 1 Wow, that's it. I just was like, what the fuck is I don't want to, what am I going to fight for the money? I'm over it.
It's over. I got to go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 I'm not kidding. Okay, if I'm not exaggerating, 16 minutes

Speaker 1 what's too long isn't that too long listen to me listen the other day i went to salt and straw salt and straw ice cream my favorite right i waited probably 45 minutes to go in there well that's because they have a line every day but i'll tell you what the problem is and people need their fingers removed some for sure for this

Speaker 1 sampling oh yeah i tried your fingers need to be removed you know the spaniard you know he tries all of them doesn't he yeah pig But Salt and Straw has six flavors that are just right.

Speaker 1 And they have seasonal ones, but it's like

Speaker 1 cake the gamble. You know, when a guy goes, Can I get a sample of cookies and cream? I'm like, get fucked.
You don't know what that tastes like? Fucking get fucked.

Speaker 1 You don't know what cookies and cream tastes like. Get the fuck out.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Unless you are. Even if you just had cookies and cream separately, you know.
You know what it tastes like. The guy that samples traditional flavors should be fucking shot in the head.

Speaker 1 If you want a cinnamon waffle raspberry twist, yeah, I'd love to know what that tastes like. But the guy that goes, can I try, can I try the Rocky Road? The Rocky Road, is that okay? Yeah.

Speaker 1 No. No, you don't get to try it.
It should have a sign that says, samples you're not allowed to try.

Speaker 1 Standard, you can't try to try it. So you're saying some samples you can try.
Of course, because

Speaker 1 I refuse. Because I'll tell you this.

Speaker 1 I didn't sample and I failed.

Speaker 1 So I went to Salt and Straw and I was with a friend and I go, I'm going to get the balsamic

Speaker 1 strawberry.

Speaker 1 Ooh, that sounds good. You have to sample.

Speaker 1 You don't have to sample. You have to sample.

Speaker 1 You have to sample. You don't have to sample.
Sample, sample. This is, by the way, a curb episode.
What was I doing?

Speaker 1 Sample. By Nixon.

Speaker 1 You don't have to sample. Anyway,

Speaker 1 so I took a bite of the, and it's balsamic, like vinegar. Yeah, we know.
Okay. Yeah.
And I hit the vinegar first and then a little bit of strawberry aftertaste. And I almost vomited in my mouth.

Speaker 1 And I looked at my date and I go, yeah, I failed. But that's what ice cream stores should be like.
No. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Take a risk. It's like a gamble.
No. Yeah.
Or

Speaker 1 everyone waits an hour. Fuck that shit.

Speaker 1 You know, you should open up an ice cream store called You Break You Buy.

Speaker 1 And that's it. They just give you one thing.
You walk. It's like soup Nazi.
You know, it's like, you don't get the choose. They give you the kind.
And if it's bad, too bad. Five dada.

Speaker 1 You break your buy, and then you get the ice cream. You walk outside.
Yeah. And that's it.
I do understand your business perspective. I don't think it's going to work.
But how about this?

Speaker 1 You charge for the samples.

Speaker 1 10 cents. How about this? How about this? How about this no, no, no.
How about this? You get one sample for free. After that, it's a dollar a sample.
Fair.

Speaker 1 That's fair. You better pick.
You better pick. I gotta even put something better.
Give it. I got something better.
Give it. Pre-samples.

Speaker 1 Pre-samples. They've chosen what you should should sample.
No, no, no. You have all the flavors in another area, right?

Speaker 1 If their sticks are sticking out, and they have the flavor. Oh, how about like colognes?

Speaker 1 Like they spray. Oh, yeah.
You smell the ice cream. Oh, that's smart.
Yeah, that'd be cool. That's smart.
Right, like a little stick, right?

Speaker 1 Right. And they go, oh, buff stomach strawberry.
I don't want this in my mouth. No, thank you.
If you can smell it, you can taste it. Yeah, but you can smell it.

Speaker 1 That's what my grandfather used to say. You smell it, and then you go, I don't like this.
And they go, let it dry for a second. Wave it around your skin.
Right. You have to wipe it on your skin.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then lick it.
Exactly. By the way, how come we haven't done that at ice cream stores? What?

Speaker 1 A lickable thing? Like, you know, the wallpaper from Charlie and Chocolate Factory? No. Lickable wallpaper? You never thought about this? This is like the coolest thing in that fucking movie.

Speaker 1 How have we never done this? Okay, lickable wallpaper. Is this because of COVID? Yeah.
Yeah, at an ice cream store, every day they should have a lickable piece of wallpaper.

Speaker 1 Well, let's start with this then. Let's even start even from the beginning.
Look at that right there. Whatever happened to Scratch and Sniffs?

Speaker 1 Whatever happened. Dude, back in the day, it was all Scratch and Sniffs.
And it went away. And And then it went away.
I want to bring it back. Bring it right back.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And those smelly good markers. You know, the smelly good markers? What were those guys? Yeah, yeah.
They were good, dude. You could get fucking stoned on one of those things.
You could hop on it.

Speaker 1 Whatever happened to the one that got molested, it was offered to me.

Speaker 1 Well, that, well, the stick, the stick, and the powder. The stick in your penis.
Fun dip? Oh, fun dip. Fun dip.
That's what he called the molestation, the fun dip. Yeah, yeah.
Anyway,

Speaker 1 what were those markers called, Carlos? You just found it. I thought y'all had moved on.
No, you don't. No, those are so good.
What were those? Fruitskins. You can eat them or smell them.

Speaker 1 You could basically eat them. I mean, who cares? Mr.
Sketch smelling markers. Yeah, Mr.
Sketch. Whoa.
Fun dip went away. Fun dip went away because it was just Kool-Aid powder.

Speaker 1 People were like, this is just Kool-Aid powder. But guy, you're not thinking about the second fucking component.
The stick? The stick. Nobody liked to eat the stick.

Speaker 1 Those sticks, though, are delicious. You like them because they're phallic.
Most people don't like them because they're not edible. They're not good to eat.

Speaker 1 You like them because they're shaped like a little penis. Looks like Xanax, too.
Oh, that's good if they put lines on it. Dude, dude, dude.
I saw a documentary on Netflix.

Speaker 1 You know, a couple weeks ago, I was this bored. You know, you're super bored? Huh? I watch anything, right? So I watched this documentary about Pez dispensers.

Speaker 1 Oh, about the history of Pez. No, some dude that cornered the black market of Pez dispensers.
So this dude, right? With black people?

Speaker 1 Did I say black people? You said the black people market. Is that what you said? No, I didn't say black people.
Right?

Speaker 1 Take back. Take it back.
Yeah, yeah. I don't know.
I thought you said.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you know how piss dispensers are

Speaker 1 collectible? They are kind of...

Speaker 1 No, they are.

Speaker 1 Like the Batman, like, there's ones that are like $2,000, $3,000 a month.

Speaker 1 Anyway, can I just get to my point? Go.

Speaker 1 So this dude, right,

Speaker 1 he had no money.

Speaker 1 He was kind of a farmer. He had no money.
He's like, I got to figure this out.

Speaker 1 You're either a farmer or you're not. You're not kind of a farmer.
He is. Did he have a garden at the front of his house or did he own?

Speaker 1 No, he had land. So he's a farmer.
He didn't farm that much, though. Anyway, I don't know.
That's why he was poor. If he farmed a little bit more, he'd have a couple more bucks in his pocket.

Speaker 1 He's not really here right now. So anyway, I'm trying to talk.
Imagine he's got 20 acres of land. He's like, I haven't farmed in years.

Speaker 1 I don't know why I can't get any money. So you know what he did? This guy? But there was, so there was pest dispensers

Speaker 1 manufacturers in Europe, like in Ukraine or something. These kind of East European, right? So he would go there.
I watched this. No, you didn't.
Yes, I swear to God. You swear to God.

Speaker 1 And he would get the ones that we because they didn't come to America, these pests resident. So he got those.
He would just walk into the warehouse and do side dealings with the people.

Speaker 1 He managed to convince them that it was okay to sell it to him. Yeah.
Even though he had no credentials. You saw it? Yes, it was insane.
Wait, wait, how did you see it? Name a documentary on there.

Speaker 1 Even if I don't remember the name, I've seen it. I've sat on enough planes across this country going to shows where I just.

Speaker 1 Did you see the whole thing? I finished the whole thing. I liked it.
He finally got caught. He did catch it.
Which Which is insane. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Because for a long time, even the company was like, it's not that big of a deal. Like, he wasn't really doing anything that.

Speaker 1 But the American pesticides guy? Yeah, the Pezza. They buried him.
Yeah, they killed him. He tried to bury him, which is like, he's a fool.
That's him right there. That's my man, dude.

Speaker 1 That's the farmer. Does he not look like a farmer? He looks like a hippie.
Okay, you're right. Yeah.
You're right. By the way, the organization of his fucking clamps in the back, that is magical.

Speaker 1 That's great. That's beautiful.
Yeah, I don't know how any of it works. No, you don't know what any of those things are.
Even when you get picture frames and they do things, they bring you,

Speaker 1 I can't even describe it. They give you like a little plastic cup kind of a thing.

Speaker 1 And you got to put that in the wall. And then you got to figure out where, like, where the board is behind the wall, right? I just take a nail and go pop, pop.
To the drywall. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's smart. Or call, George.
Or cock, dog.

Speaker 1 Fucking cocks are. Honestly, man, you got to enunciate a little bit more.
That's getting

Speaker 1 you're going backwards. Or call, George.

Speaker 1 He had oral surgery this morning. Oh, that's right.
Oh, that's what it is. You had oral sex with some guy this morning? Yeah.
Does it hurt?

Speaker 2 A lot of cunalingus.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Wait,

Speaker 1 what got cut? Your molars?

Speaker 2 I had a crown lengthening procedure.

Speaker 1 You made a crown bigger?

Speaker 2 Yeah, they have to

Speaker 2 shave the bone.

Speaker 1 They had to shave the bone. Yeah.
Wow. This guy showed up after surgery.
Gold gala.

Speaker 1 Gold gala from Goldhouse. Okay.

Speaker 1 What is that?

Speaker 1 I got it. What the fuck are you talking about? The Asian event.
Oh, Gold Gala.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ. From early.
I just got it. Goldhouse, Gold Gala.

Speaker 1 Gold Gala. That's what it was.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. That's it.
Beautiful. Beautiful.
Look at that. I don't know.
Look at the most photo. No, dude, I didn't do the right car pack.
You know me. I sneak in from the back.

Speaker 1 No, I think they requested you.

Speaker 1 No, and asked Margaret. Margaret goes, who was the first one to leave? Me.
Every time. You gotta.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Look at.

Speaker 1 That's beautiful. That's beautiful.
That's the guy.

Speaker 1 That's not the table we got. No.
We go way back.

Speaker 1 But we got a pretty good table. Jimmy Oyang.
Look at that.

Speaker 1 See, now, Gold Gala, right? You're saying I went. Am I in the photo? Because you left.
You leave early. Oh, fuck.
The guy from Queer Eye.

Speaker 1 And by the way, even Ali Wong, not Allie Wong, even Margaret last night said that you guys, they got gift bags and you left too early. You didn't get a fucking gift bag.
Oh, I've missed the photo.

Speaker 1 And the gift bag. I'd rather.
But who else is in there? I saw John Cho.

Speaker 1 Is John in the photo? Who else is in there?

Speaker 1 John Cho's not in the photo. It looks photos.
Is that Kevin Spacey? Who's in there?

Speaker 1 That guy? Yeah, yeah. Oh, Dad, Daniel.
No, no, that was from a year before. That's Daniel Day Kim.
You don't know who that is? I mean, that guy? You don't know who that is? He's just an Asian guy.

Speaker 1 Jesus. Oh, my.

Speaker 1 No, honestly. Dude, who's Daniel Day Kim? He was in Lost, right?

Speaker 1 By the way, this photo is Photoshopped. You realize these people aren't in the same room.
You can tell. Those two older Asian women right there, they were not in that photo.
They're dead. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. They died years ago.
It's a posthumous photo. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Anyway, I went to that, but it's not the same. Who's that, Ben Baller up top?

Speaker 1 Also, I didn't dress good.

Speaker 1 I didn't dress well.

Speaker 1 Well, either. No, I know.
Good or well. Yeah, neither.
I came. What were you supposed to do?

Speaker 1 What would you wear to that? You don't have a suit. I wore like this.

Speaker 1 And I wore a jacket.

Speaker 1 Padma Lakshimi. She's famous and beautiful.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You wore a suit coat? Yeah, but something cool happened.

Speaker 1 Dev Patel. There's some high-end Asians over there, bud.
Bobby, I searched your name, but.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're not going to put my name in there, dude. No.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 they think of this kind of entertainment as the bottom of the barrel, but. So do we.
I know we do, but we're still the top. That's the best.
We're the top of the bottom. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 We're still at the top. They view it bottom.
No, we're in the shit barrel, but we're at the top of the shit barrel. We're the cream on top, baby.
Yeah, but the barrel, it gets released. Not often.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know. But the foam on top of the shit barrel? Yeah.
It gets released. Sometimes.

Speaker 1 Nija Houston was Chime. You know, when I was younger,

Speaker 1 I was terrible at banking. I was confused.
So bad.

Speaker 1 Overdraft charges. Yeah, I just didn't know how to handle my money.
I didn't know how to manage it. And also, no one was there to help.
But Chime understands that every dollar counts.

Speaker 1 That's why when you set up direct deposit through Chime, you get access to fee-free features like overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit, and much more, which definitely would have helped me when I was doing my PA jobs back in the day.

Speaker 1 Also, with qualifying direct deposits, you are eligible for free overdraft up to $200 or debit card purchases and cash withdrawal. You can learn more about it at chime.com/slash bad friend.

Speaker 1 To date, Chime has spotted members over $30 billion, right? You need a little bit of help. You need a little money quicker than normal because something pops up.
It always does.

Speaker 1 You open up a check-in account.

Speaker 1 with zero monthly fees and no maintenance fees, and you got access to over 47,000 fee-free atms that's uh more than the top three national banks combined all those atms are there for you to use and don't get clipped you got to try chime work on your financial goals through chime today open an account in two minutes at chime.com slash bad friends that's chime.com slash bad friends chime feel like progress chime is a financial technology company not a bank banking services and debit card provided by the bank bank n a or stride bank name members fdic spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply timing depends on submission of payment file fees apply at out of network atmos bank ranking and number of atms according to u.s news and world report 2023 chime checking account required Hydro.

Speaker 1 I got it. You? They gave me one.
I got one at the house. I love it so very much.
It's incredible. And I'm rowing in the morning and it wakes me up and gets me juiced.
Well, what is it? What is it?

Speaker 1 Hydro is your ultimate go-to for ultimate full-body workout.

Speaker 1 How ultimate is it? You may ask. It works 86% of your muscles, arms, legs, and core, twice as efficient as cycling or running.
Just 20 minutes, all it takes to feel the results. And this is true.

Speaker 1 I do it for 15 to 20 minutes in the morning, and I feel so good for the rest of the day. People have seen traditional old rowers.
The old ways are gone.

Speaker 1 Hydro's newest rower, the Hydro Arc, delivers such powerful results. GQ magazine named it the best rower of 2025, and I agree.
You've convinced me I'm getting a hydro today. We should get you one.

Speaker 1 Head over to hydro.com and use code Bad Friends to save up to $600 off on a hydro rower during this holiday season. That's hydro.
H-Y-D-R-O-W dot com.

Speaker 1 Code, of course, is Bad Friends to save up to $600.

Speaker 1 Hydro.com, code is Bad Friends. I love Nija Houston.

Speaker 1 yeah he's the best and maya earskin the best these are there's a lot of good good people there yeah i'm not in there by the way her name is scout bassett scout bassett that's a cool name look at her yeah paralympian author and advocate

Speaker 1 yeah they're all involved what did you just say i said scout bassett and what did you say you said it was a great name and i said yeah if you're a dog

Speaker 1 I'm sorry I was mean to scout let's not talk about dogs when we're talking about the Asian heritage thing okay it's a little fucked up you're right dude are you claiming that she ate scout basket

Speaker 1 I mean you are what you eat.

Speaker 1 And she claimed the name,

Speaker 1 dude. I don't know what that is.
That's insane, dude. I'm sorry.
If you eat a dog, you have to be its name, is very funny.

Speaker 1 I'm chippy now.

Speaker 1 I'm fluffy. You become

Speaker 1 Jingles.

Speaker 1 You become the dog you become. Yeah, that's so funny.

Speaker 1 That's a Disney movie.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's really funny.

Speaker 1 Did you see the Disney movie? The if?

Speaker 1 Is it if? It's Pixar. If it's what's it's it's what's his name? Bradley Cooper.
No, John Christina. John Krasinski.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We gotta go see it.
Isn't Bradley Cooper in the movie? Isn't he the voice? One of the voices? No. I saw him at the PlayStation.
He's right.

Speaker 1 Dude, John is the next Spielberg.

Speaker 1 You said that last night and it pissed me off yesterday. Yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 what does that even fucking mean? Because when you watch the, because, okay, Quiet Plays, right? Killed it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Great movie. It's not Spielberg.

Speaker 1 Steven fucking Spielberg?

Speaker 1 Steven Spielberg.

Speaker 1 You think John Krasinski, and this is not to disrespect him, is going to be Steven Spielberg? I think that he has his sensibilities, yeah. Okay, call me in 20 years.
We'll go box office toe-to-toe.

Speaker 1 It's a different landscape now.

Speaker 1 That's impossible to fuck already. It's a flop.

Speaker 2 Huh? This one is already a flop.

Speaker 1 Why? The if? Yeah, I bought it. How do you know?

Speaker 2 Because he didn't do well in the box office.

Speaker 1 That's a flop?

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Garfield made $100 million.

Speaker 1 But what I'm saying, though, is the trajectory, like, for instance. Yeah.
You shouldn't feed your cat lasagna, by the way, if I'm going to go back to the Garfield thing real fast. You don't like it.

Speaker 1 I tried. You cannot.

Speaker 1 I have to do it. I do not want it.
That's such a bad lie.

Speaker 1 Look at that. It made 33 million in the States.
If bombed.

Speaker 1 But.

Speaker 1 God, that's so bad for a movie like that. I know.
That thing probably cost, I don't know, $500 million. Well, how much did it cost? George Clooney.
That's like his thing.

Speaker 1 He just hangs with George Clooney. What do you mean? You don't think so? Maybe it costs $300 million.

Speaker 1 Maybe

Speaker 2 it's $100 plus 100 E.

Speaker 1 Sebastian's in DNI. Yeah, I'm saying, yeah.
I think Manascal's in his voice or something. Anyway, Krzzinski can make a Schindler's list.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I mean, they already did that. The budget or something like that.
That's $110 million on production doesn't mean they A, didn't go over, and B, that's not on marketing and promotions. Right.

Speaker 1 Double that. Okay, so.
It's $250 then.

Speaker 1 Well, let me say something. There's a lot of tracedies throughout history, but what is left to make a movie out of it? And we've done a lot of the.
If Krzezynski makes a a 9-11 movie, we'll talk.

Speaker 1 Make him make a 9-11 movie, we'll talk. They already did that one.
What was it called? Nicholas Cage. Sully? No, not Sully.
Was that 9-11?

Speaker 1 When they're in the elevator the whole time? They're not in the elevator, they're just under the building. No, no, I'm talking about...
That was a great movie, but I want the perspective of.

Speaker 1 Michael Pana and my friend Danny Nucci's in that. I want the perspective of the pilots in 9-11.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's a good one. What was going on? What were they?

Speaker 1 You know, there was a couple of dudes that were like, we shouldn't do this

Speaker 1 i you know what i'd be guys are you sure

Speaker 1 i i would say are you sure probably 50 times right before the plane hits yeah yeah i don't yeah yeah

Speaker 1 i mean we could get pussy here

Speaker 1 you're not

Speaker 1 isn't that that like in your afterlife if you're a muslim that you get how many how many is 93 virgins a bunch of them buy 93.

Speaker 1 That's a pretty good

Speaker 1 number, though. It's a great year in Chicago for Jordan.
But if I got 94, I wouldn't complain either, though. Oh, it's 72.
We're way off. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But if I got 73, I'd be like, I would count in heaven. 73.

Speaker 1 Okay. Imagine you get to heaven and you go

Speaker 1 71, 72,

Speaker 1 71. Okay, 71.
Where's my other?

Speaker 1 Hello? Where's my other two? Where's my other? Something's missing. Yeah, yeah.
What is going on here? Why does it say that? Men will receive 72 virgins in Hadith Corpus.

Speaker 1 There is some debate on the meaning of the 72 40-year-old virgins.

Speaker 1 That's so fun. That's a great movie.
Hey, Bob, you ready for your payoff?

Speaker 1 You spit on the mic? I don't feel great.

Speaker 1 Well, good. I'm glad you showed up.

Speaker 1 We'll be fine. You're going to be fine.
We'll be fine. You take a, you got an emergency back there?

Speaker 1 That's all he's been drinking all day. Emergency? Yeah.

Speaker 1 What is this?

Speaker 1 The South Korean president? What's he got to say? You know, the South Korean president made an announcement? What did he say? Let's hear it. A long, long time ago, ago,

Speaker 4 I can still remember how that music used to make me smile.

Speaker 1 Billy Joel.

Speaker 4 And now a new effect might change.

Speaker 1 See the day?

Speaker 1 Those people there? Yeah, was this at the golden

Speaker 4 baby? They be happy for a while.

Speaker 4 February made me shiver.

Speaker 1 Oh, he got through that.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 4 Bad news on the doorstep. I couldn't talk one more step.

Speaker 1 Okay, please pause for a second. This is really good.
If you make fun of it. By the way, the fact that he got through deliver is fucking bananas.
Okay, you go to a Korean government

Speaker 1 and sing a Korean song in front of other Koreans. Would love to.
Give it to me and I will do it. All right, I'll give you a song right now.
Give me, hey, give me. Get Santoki.

Speaker 1 No, no, give me Bye-bye, Miss American Pie in Korean.

Speaker 1 No, no, you got to sing a Korean song. No, yes.
No, because

Speaker 1 that's an American song. Sing an American song because we make the best shit.
No, Santoki is a good song. Santoki.
Give me the lyrics to Santoki. Okay.
Santoki Tokia.

Speaker 1 Santoki Tokia. You got to do the song.
Yeah, that popular song. Give me the lyrics.
Zip Up Bunnies.

Speaker 1 Zip Up Bunnies? What the fuck did you say? Here we go. There it is.
Santoki. There he is.
Here he is. Here we go.
Here we go. Go down.
There it is. All right.

Speaker 1 What's the rhythm of it? No, you gotta. Do you have the music there? No.

Speaker 1 Give me the rhythm. Oh, yeah, go.
Zoom into the lyrics. I'll give you the first slot, right? It goes to that.
No, no, just do the rhythm and go. Bam, bam.

Speaker 1 I'll give you the okay.

Speaker 1 San. Now just sing it.
Okay. Santoki Tokiya.
O Dinin Ganinya. Gang Chung Ganchung.
Timiyun So.

Speaker 1 O Dinin Ganinya.

Speaker 1 San Toki Toki Ya O Di Ru Gang Yan Ya Kang Chung Kang Chung Di Min Su O Di Rugan Yan

Speaker 1 Off by the way, you're taking all you're doing is that's a remix? Yeah, it's a remix. No, that's the song came first.

Speaker 1 DJ Calley, San Tok San San, Tot San San San San San San San San Ta Da Da Da San Toki Toki Ya Odi Ru Ganyan Ya Dude, I'd make a banger out there in Korea, and they would be

Speaker 1 losing Do you think so? 100%. They'd love me.
But you know what the song's about? That's a good restaurant, San Toky. I've been down there.
It's about summer bunnies. Summer bunnies.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What is that? Spring bunnies. Spring bunnies.
Spring bunnies.

Speaker 1 You know how she in the like looks what she's doing? You do this. San.
It's a mountain rabbit.

Speaker 1 It goes

Speaker 1 like this. Oh, I like that.
Yeah, yeah. And they eat it.
Ravenous. Is this talking about lunch? Is this just a song about lunch?

Speaker 1 Who's here? What's going on? We have a visitor.

Speaker 1 Oh, come on in. My grandma Judy.
Do you guys remember her from the house? Oh, wow. Grandma Judy's here.
Hi, Grandma. What's up?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Hi, Red Grandma.
Hi, Grandma. Hi, Grandma Judy.
Please sit down. Good to see you.
Sit down, Grandma. Oh, my God.
It's good to see you. What a surprise.
Give her the cans.

Speaker 1 This is McCone's grandmother.

Speaker 1 Beautiful.

Speaker 1 You want to wear the cans? You want to wear the cans, Graham? Huh?

Speaker 1 You want to wear the headphones? Headphones? Don't matter. Doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter. Yeah.
Okay. Nope.
You don't want to hear it. Judy, that's your Judy, right? Yeah.
Judy, I love your nails.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Judy, how do you feel about Koreans? Do you like Koreans?

Speaker 1 They're okay, I guess. Yeah.
Some of them.

Speaker 1 You're Bobby. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're a motherfucker. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Don't worry with Judy. Hold on.
No. Judy? No.
Fuck you, Judy. Wait a minute.

Speaker 1 You know what? Come here and see, call me motherfucker, Judy. I'm sorry, McCone.
That's a grandma.

Speaker 1 Pay me. You're paying.
I'm pissed at you the way you treat my fucking grandson. Yeah, you do treat him like that.
Hey, fuck you, Judy.

Speaker 1 You don't watch that. Fuck off.
You don't come to my house and fucking say that shit to me. Hey, you be nice to the girl.

Speaker 1 The fuck I don't, motherfucker. I just did, didn't I? She did.
You want me to come over and whoop yourself? No, I don't want you to be there. I'm sorry.
I'll take you. All right.
I'm sorry. So anyway.

Speaker 1 Fuck you.

Speaker 1 Motherfucker.

Speaker 1 You don't talk to me like that. You don't talk to her like that.
I'm going to write it. I just, you know, you started with that tone.
You gotta be nice. Be nice.
Fuck you, man. Be nice.

Speaker 1 Hey, don't take it out on him either. That's right.
That's right. He ain't said a fucking word.
Oh, yeah. You know what, Judy? You know what?

Speaker 1 You want to hear? Judy, you want to hear some shit right now, dude? All right. The Vietnam War.
You guys lost that. Do you know why? All right.
We're sneakier. You know what? What?

Speaker 1 I'm going to come over and I'm going to whoop your motherfucking ice if you keep running that fucking mouth of yours.

Speaker 1 I will beat the hell out of you. I know you will, Judy.

Speaker 1 Fuck it. Judy, I'll win Hawaii.
Hey! I'll win that war. Yeah, she'll win that war.
Oh, yeah? I'll fuck that ain't well. Hold on.

Speaker 1 I'll stop it. Why don't you beat me? I'll stop.
She came in with it with the energy. I was going to be so motherfucker.
You were nice. Hey,

Speaker 1 I'll stop a damn mud hole in your ice and then socket drop. You motherfucker.

Speaker 1 Judy, let's start over. Be nice.
Judy, I apologize. I don't give a fuck.
fuck.

Speaker 1 See what I'm saying? She won't fuck us up. Because you're grandfather.
I don't like the way you treat my grandson. I don't like her.
What you spawned. Wait a minute.
We love him.

Speaker 1 No, you had a daughter,

Speaker 1 whatever, that had that piece of shit.

Speaker 1 Fuck you.

Speaker 1 Why don't you ask her someone to know her? It takes one to know one, don't it? Oh, it does.

Speaker 1 Paste the shit.

Speaker 1 All right, Judy, let's back up for a second. Back up.
Get to know her. Judith, getting to know you.

Speaker 1 Getting to know all of you.

Speaker 1 Stay off. Okay, okay.
Stay off your head. You're right.
Thank you. All right, Judy.
Thank you, Judy. He's a fucking nice guy.
Thank you, Judy. Okay, Judy.
Be nice now. Go ahead and ask her.

Speaker 1 All right, so Judy, let's start over.

Speaker 1 I'll treat your grandson nicer. Good.

Speaker 1 By fuck, you better.

Speaker 1 Well, what you going to do about it?

Speaker 1 Okay, what are you starting? What about what you do about it? You don't know. Couch your eyes out, right?

Speaker 1 I will come over there. I'll find out where you live.
I'll take the biggest shit. I'll tell you where I live.
Come over.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you where I live.

Speaker 1 And I'll take the biggest shit I can right in the middle of your

Speaker 1 fucking bed. Oh, you'll take a shit out of my bed? I'll do diarrhea in your fucking eyes.
Oh, no. And you'll fucking be able to go blind.
And you'll look just like me the next morning.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Let's go back.
Let's go back. You won't.
Start over. Let's start over.
Be nice to her again. Stay at the motherfucking chaich.

Speaker 1 What's a chaich? A chait. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's the same thing. Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, let's back up for a second, Judy. You live in Minnesota? Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's the problem? I love it. I grew up in Adina a little bit.
She knows she hates Adina. I don't give a shit where you grew up at.
Sounds right. I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 1 Why don't you ask her something? Why is she so hostile? She's not just here.

Speaker 1 I just did

Speaker 1 come in here

Speaker 1 to tell you to your motherfucking face, you better treat my grandson better what you fucking do. I agree.
All right. I agree.

Speaker 2 You also flashed her daughter.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you flashed her daughter. You got an attitude with him.
You tell me. Yeah, you got something to say.
You say it to me. I call you.
I didn't get your number, Judy.

Speaker 1 Fuck no, I ain't giving you my fucking phone number. Then how can I tell you? How can I call you? I'll give Andrew my phone number.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 So I'll go ahead. He calls you.

Speaker 1 I'll relay it. Why don't you be ask us some set of questions and let's do a nice interview?

Speaker 1 Please. She's pissed.

Speaker 1 Be nice. She's pissed.
Be nice.

Speaker 1 What's up?

Speaker 1 Don't show her your ass. Do not.
I'm telling you. I'm telling you.
Don't. I got a real big book, but I'll put it right straight up your motherfucking eyes.
You better not show her your ass.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to show your motherfucking ass. You better not.

Speaker 1 I know. You better not.
She's allergic to seafood. You don't like calamari?

Speaker 1 Repeat that. Say it again.

Speaker 1 Come on out. I can tell you.
Do you like calamari?

Speaker 1 I don't even know what the fuck that is. And I don't give a damn.
Okay,

Speaker 1 if it comes from you. Calm down.
Let's calm down. Let's take the temperature down.
I'm calm.

Speaker 1 I'm fucking calm. If you were going to go out to dinner with Judy, where would you guys go? Where would you have with her? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Is there a cracker barrel nearby? You like cracker barrel, Jude? Fuck no, I don't like taco bale.

Speaker 1 And to go out, and to go out with him? Yeah, you have to go out on a date with him. Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Well, hold hands. You got to to hold hands.
We'll hold hands. We want to make amends.
He's going to take you out for dinner. He wants to make amends.

Speaker 1 I don't think you're going to be able to make it up to her. Oh, I think I can.
How do you think you're going to get this back?

Speaker 1 Do you like origami?

Speaker 1 Huh?

Speaker 1 Do you like origami?

Speaker 1 Dar you go with that fucking shit again. Okay, all right.

Speaker 1 So Calamari doesn't know. Well, if it rhymes.
Yeah, yeah. Origami doesn't know.
Doesn't fan. All right.
Yeah. Okay, so.
Don't say salami. She'll fucking lose the shit.

Speaker 1 You better not, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How can you make it up to her?

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Take your time. I will.
I'll take my time.

Speaker 1 What I want to say to you.

Speaker 1 I think you should apologize.

Speaker 1 Just the way you've treated her this whole time.

Speaker 1 It's been insane. It has been.
You've been treating her poorly. Be nice.
She's been hostile there. No, she didn't.

Speaker 1 You've got to treat her nice.

Speaker 1 I apologize.

Speaker 1 I'm going to try again.

Speaker 2 You came to this country and now you take jobs.

Speaker 1 I was born here, actually.

Speaker 1 Seriously? Yeah. Oh, shit.
Is she born here? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So apologize, though, to

Speaker 1 job. You're taking the job.

Speaker 1 I think you're talking about yourself. Yeah, first of all, of all the people that

Speaker 1 you're the first to get deported. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I think you should apologize. So I'm going to apologize.
Just make it better, please. So McCone can have a nice trip to the family.
Listen, Judy. I want to say, honestly, heartfelt.

Speaker 1 It's good to see you.

Speaker 1 When I first saw you, I was pleasantly surprised. I was very excited to see you.
And I think you're a great woman. I really do.

Speaker 1 And you did such a great job raising your children and your grandchildren. They're very good offspring, you know.
And just let me finish. Okay.

Speaker 1 And, you know, it's just meeting you. It's like, I, you know, um,

Speaker 1 I thought I would never meet somebody from the movie Deliverance.

Speaker 1 What are you, you know what I mean? So it's like, and when you're watching Deliverance as a kid, you're like, I don't know these people. And then you meet them, right?

Speaker 1 And you go, they fuck pigs, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, so what are you going to do, Magone? What you going to do, dude i'm right here don't fuck with me dude all right anyway i'm kidding it was a joke macon

Speaker 1 so thanks for being here

Speaker 1 what are you trying to do motherfucker

Speaker 1 i don't believe a fucking word you say you don't believe a word i'm saying yeah but okay all right how do how can we repair this

Speaker 1 I think you should.

Speaker 1 I already did it. The way to do this,

Speaker 1 the apology was good. It was very good.
But I think before you say goodbye to her, because you want to mend this, I want you to say something along the lines of:

Speaker 1 I hope you have a great day.

Speaker 1 You know? I can't say that.

Speaker 1 You got to do something. I don't mean that, though.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 How about this? I'll compromise. Compromise, please.
Judy, I hope you have an average day.

Speaker 1 Bullshit. Bullshit.
You know, you're full of bullshit. You know that?

Speaker 1 You have a head full of bullshit. It's like, thank you very fucking much.
Yeah. You're welcome.
Well, that is a compliment. to me, motherfucker.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. This seems good.

Speaker 1 How about that? You're right. You're right.
Hey. Yeah.
I love you.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 1 Mend the wound.

Speaker 1 I don't think that's. I think jumping to I love you.
Stitch it up. Okay.
Stitch it up. Let me try.
Please. I got to turn to say it.
Yeah. All right.
Let me be drawing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 1 You got something to say? Okay.

Speaker 1 Say it.

Speaker 1 I love you.

Speaker 1 Bullshit. Yeah, she doesn't buy it.
I did the battle. Say it with more vigor.
I love you. What do you got? Deeper.

Speaker 1 Bullshit. Judy, I love you.
You shit. You're shit.
I'm shit.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Now, what I want to do is retaliate, but I'm not going to. You can't.
I'm learning not to. You can't.
I'm learning not to. All right.
You know what? I am full of shit. I'm a fuck face.

Speaker 1 Am I? Yeah. I'm going to go back to me.
I'm a terrible one. And I should learn my ways.
That's right. I didn't learn anything.
And I have to learn to respect McCone and respect people around me.

Speaker 1 That's right. That's right.

Speaker 1 And I'm telling you that, motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, she told you that.
And we're all people. Correct? Yeah, that's pretty true.
You have people in LA. You have the hills have eyes.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 The people from there, right? You have the people from the mountain people. Got it.
The canyons. You know what I mean? They don't have the same things we have.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 You look inside a cave, their eyes come out. You know what I mean? And you go, hello.

Speaker 1 Hello there. I love you.
Right? You love Jesus too. I do too.
Jesus. So I love everybody.
Good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I have to say another thing, man. Yeah.
Yeah. You're great.

Speaker 1 If I love the fucking bullshitter, I'd come over and I'd hug your fucking neck.

Speaker 1 She might give you a hug? That seems violent. That's what I heard.

Speaker 1 That doesn't seem like a hug. It sounded like a hug.
I think we should finish with a hug. I think you give her a big hug.
Would you like to hug me? Give her a high five. No.

Speaker 1 Well, I don't want to hug her either, to be honest with you.

Speaker 1 Do you know why, though? How about a high five? But you know why? How about a high five? I'm afraid I'm going to get hard.

Speaker 1 Give her a high five. Can I give you a high five?

Speaker 1 It was amazing. Help her up.
It was amazing. Give him a high five.
Give me a high five. And I think that's the move.

Speaker 1 That is, you are the best.

Speaker 1 Sit down here for a second.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 What's going on, man?

Speaker 2 I don't know. You know, things just feel different than they did at the beginning.

Speaker 1 This is the nightmare.

Speaker 1 This is my nightmare coming true, dude. I know.
Okay, so

Speaker 1 in the beginning,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 In the beginning, right, when I first met you, we didn't work together, okay? Yeah. We were just, I'm being friendly.
Yeah. I'm a nice guy, right? You came in, right? He became obsessed with you.

Speaker 1 That's not true. Yeah, you did.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you did. I like him just fine.
Yeah, yeah. You became obsessed with him.
The kid's fine. Yeah, you drive him around.
He comes to your house. Well, he's, you know, young.
Yeah, you're burgeoning.

Speaker 1 And so in my mind, I'm like, I have to play bad cop now. Right.
I was good cop. You're a good cop, right? You can't have it it all so I was just being bad cop right right

Speaker 1 and so but now I feel like the act that I was doing on the road because you know when you lost your earphones I bought you

Speaker 1 I do things for you gave those away you gave those away yeah and then you know when you gave me that DVD I watched it immediately at home I was really grateful for it my point being is this if you're funneling resentment to your grandma, right?

Speaker 1 And then she comes on to here, calling me a bullshit motherfucker, right? Wow, you are a bullshit motherfucker. Yeah, what is going on around here? It's gotten too far.

Speaker 1 I think she was just having fun. It's gotten too far.
What do you think? She was just having fun. That's a little.
What do you think? You want to fire the kid because of it?

Speaker 1 No, I'm not going to fire him. I'm just saying, let's get it out now because it's like, I don't need another grandma or the great-grandma or the fucking grandfather or any of these people

Speaker 1 coming over here. The grandpa is here next week, so we can meet him if you can.
Yeah, he was on the books. He was on the books? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, tell your grandpa, right, that we're just kidding around, right yeah yeah yeah well i mean like that that was that was pretty cathartic so i feel like oh i feel like i'm ready to oh yeah but so you

Speaker 1 he's ready to let it go now i'm ready to let it go yeah yeah if you are it sounds like you're holding some resentments i'm ready to let it go oh i'm holding a lot of things i know i'm holding let it go baby i can't let it go right now come on i i almost want to this is what i want to do i almost want to just hear me out it's insane yeah i almost want to finish the war

Speaker 1 well go ahead yeah i almost want to go okay You want to play games?

Speaker 1 If you want to play family games, I could get some of my family involved as well. Most are dead.
Oh, no, I get some cousins that are loopy. Right.
What about you, Carlos? What about it?

Speaker 1 How do you feel? I mean, I think McCone's young, and he's not used to this Hollywood shit. I'm not Hollywood.
Well, don't even say, bring that in. Why are you bringing that in?

Speaker 1 Stop bringing that in, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I just think he needs to get used to it, and I think he's finally settling into it.

Speaker 2 No, I think I feel very settled.

Speaker 1 i feel settled too good all right but uh wow that what a what a whirlwind it was heavy pretty heavy to me it made me sad really because parents love me well the grandparents don't yeah it's true why not my parents love you my parents love you too does not yeah yeah yeah my parents love you doesn't like me at all it some of it could be you know the uh the war yeah it's got to be history it got to be history right they remember back when you guys weren't allowed to talk to them did she

Speaker 1 that's right you know right different times and i'm calling her bullshit. So I love it, though.
I do. It's pretty cool.
I'll tell you why, because now I can say stuff. Yeah.
I can fight against it.

Speaker 1 Back in the day, I couldn't. So let me ask you this.
All right.

Speaker 1 Do you have

Speaker 1 cousins that, I mean, does she have grandchildren or female?

Speaker 1 Yeah. So if I said to Judy, I'm dating your grandchild, she would lose her mind.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 Yeah, she would probably pull a gun out or something.

Speaker 1 Murder. Well, no, he means just to scare you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's not going to scare me.
But murder?

Speaker 1 Murder.

Speaker 2 To them, that's not murder.

Speaker 1 What is that?

Speaker 1 Cleansing? Like putting the dog down or something.

Speaker 1 Whoa, wow. Whoa, wow, wow.

Speaker 1 Keep that in. Keep that in.
I like that. He will.
I like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like that. Okay, so, you know, I feel like this is a

Speaker 1 something that's not going to go away easily. I don't think I want to squash it right now.
What? Okay. Yeah, I want to keep the balls going.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm juggling. I want to keep the balls going.
Keep the balls in the air.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the show's still on. I'm still performing.

Speaker 1 So what I'm saying is, I'd like to keep this war going.

Speaker 1 I now know Judy, your grandma Judy. I know my enemies.

Speaker 1 I'm not your enemies. Just listen.
I know my enemies. Okay.
And I know

Speaker 1 my allies. Well, that, okay, that's right.
And I know how the war is played. And I will win.
In the long run, yeah. Short run.

Speaker 1 It's going to be a short war. Pretty short.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But God bless you, man. Back to your position.
God bless you and take care of that. God bless you.
Good job, bud. Also, cool shirt.
Thank you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Cool shirt. Cool shirt.
Great shirt. But you didn't defend me at all.
What was there to defend?

Speaker 1 Hold up, Judy. I think I.
I mean, that could have been nice. Whoa, Judy.
Out of pocket. Judy.
You came in with guns ablazing. Play the tape.

Speaker 1 I said, okay, let's get this back. I was trying to be a mediator.

Speaker 1 Dude, you're acting as if we were on the same fraternity. That's the greatest thing.
And we knew each other for 20 years. So, wow, what a world.
I wasn't feeling well. I'm up now.

Speaker 1 You're feeling good now. I'm not feeling good.
You go do spots tonight.

Speaker 1 No, I canceled those. It's good.
What a weird day, man.

Speaker 1 What a world of win. All right, show us something funny then, Carlos.
Make him feel better, will you? Make me feel better. What is this? JoJo Siwa drunk at Disneyland.
Love. Big JoJo Siwa fan.

Speaker 5 Siwa spent her 21st birthday embarrassing herself yesterday at Disney World's Epcot.

Speaker 5 The clearly wasted pop star tried to start a sing-along to her newly released song Karma, but no one knew the words.

Speaker 1 I should have known better.

Speaker 1 I had a

Speaker 1 wish.

Speaker 1 Embarrassing.

Speaker 1 I would have never ever wronged. Yeah, we know it.
A couple of things here. Yeah, go ahead, tell me.
Yes. What are you doing at Disney?

Speaker 1 That's not a thing. What are you doing your 21st birthday at Disney? One of the most happiest positions on the

Speaker 1 21st birthday at Disney? I went there last year. Loved it.
Without kids? No kids. Gross? No.
Gross. Star Wars.
Jail.

Speaker 1 Star Wars? Right to jail. Did I like Star Wars? Could you go to Disney or what would I get?

Speaker 1 I was with the kids. Jail? Who?

Speaker 1 Oh. Yeah.
A friend's kid was with you. Yeah.
So then, yes, you get a pass. Thank you.
Yeah, that's fine. All of you.
Do I go to prison? VIP pass. Jesus Christ.
You go to jail, not prison.

Speaker 1 We'll let you out. But we're going to whack it up.

Speaker 1 VIP, remember that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let me ask you something about VIP. With a kid is fine.
Have you done the VIP experience?

Speaker 1 I don't have a kid. It doesn't matter.
What I would like to do.

Speaker 2 Would you take me?

Speaker 1 I'll take you too. What up? VIP? Yeah, I'll do the VIP.
How much is VIP at Disney?

Speaker 1 It's $800 an hour.

Speaker 2 What? In an hour, you can do the whole park.

Speaker 1 No, you can't. That doesn't.

Speaker 1 That math is not right. $8,500.

Speaker 1 12 hours? 800 an hour? You're there for 10 hours? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You went to the park for 10 hours. Oh, yeah, even longer.
I can't even get you to fucking do this show for an hour. There's a lot to do.
Same. Okay.
Anyway, so that's how much it costs.

Speaker 1 And what you get, I'll tell you what you get with it.

Speaker 1 You get the VIP experience.

Speaker 1 You know that whole thing. You go to the front of the line.

Speaker 1 Let me finish, man.

Speaker 1 Right now, dude, I'm not in the mood for you doing this right now.

Speaker 1 Cut me off. Okay.

Speaker 1 Don't get so angry. Let me explain myself.
I'm turning into Judy.

Speaker 1 Please don't turn into Judy. That's a shit.
I know. All right.
I love it. I love her.
So what you get is early in the morning, you go to that hotel with the

Speaker 1 log cabin feel. There's a big bonfire.
You're talking to me. And there's a lady.
Speaking Spanish to me. There's a lady that comes out.
They look like they were in the gold rush.

Speaker 1 Hey, y'all. You know what I mean? That whole thing.
I love it. I clap.
You know what I mean? Are you ready for the adventure? Saying, what do you want to do first?

Speaker 1 And so you get to go around with this lady. She's wearing the outfit.
She has all the passes. And you go in the front of the line in every ride.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 And then you get to even the little experiences like making a lightsaber, right? She can make those appointments. Cute.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 she's pretty much with you the whole time. Like, if you want to go eat.
You tip her? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 You tip her cash? Oh, yeah. Would you tip her?

Speaker 1 Like I did last night at the parking lot guys. That made me laugh so fucking hard.
So anyway. You tip it at the parking lot.
You give him a couple bucks, you know, five, ten bucks, sometimes 20.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? It's a parking lot, guys.

Speaker 1 I said, how much did you just give him? He goes, $100.

Speaker 1 Insane. A generous guy.
$100 to park your car? I only brought that up because you accused me of not tipping the fucking

Speaker 1 gold lady. I don't know how much those people...
I don't do that stuff. I don't know what you tip that lady.
I would give her probably like $300 or $400 maybe for the day.

Speaker 1 You know what a woman did to me today? I ordered, and then I beep-booped my food. I boot-booped on the thing on the Apple Pay,

Speaker 1 and then she manually

Speaker 1 got rid of the tip thing

Speaker 1 because she wants cash. But that was interesting because I went to go press the button.
She goes, all good to go. So she moved to the next screen without me.
Oh, that's nice.

Speaker 1 But then I thought, are they told to do that by the management to skip the tip? Because I went to tip,

Speaker 1 but then she goes, you're good to go. She did it so fast, then it goes, no thanks, or receipt, no thanks.
And I thought, did they tell them to do that, you think? Or did she think I don't tip?

Speaker 1 Did she look at me and she goes, this guy doesn't tip? Can I be honest with you?

Speaker 1 And don't get angry.

Speaker 1 You don't look like you can tip. I don't look like I can afford to tip.
No, you can afford it. You just don't look like you do tip.
Why?

Speaker 1 Your brow. I always tip.
I know you do. You tip well.
And I tip well. I know you do.
I never knew.

Speaker 1 But I look like a furrowed brow doesn't tip guy. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I want to show, Bob, you do need to watch this. I do want you to see this for a second.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Russians are the fucking best.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 ice boxing.

Speaker 1 So it's just straight boxing on ice.

Speaker 1 That's so good. Why not put it on ice? I know.
It's genius. They put Disney on ice.
Why not box it?

Speaker 1 Right. Here's what's so great about this to me.

Speaker 1 This is Russians got to be the people that came up with power slap, you know, the slapping. They got it.
They're the arm wrestling. That's all like them trying to take things to like another level.

Speaker 1 This boxing shit, what else do you want to see on a different? I'll tell you right now.

Speaker 1 Sky fighting.

Speaker 1 Skydive fighting? That's brilliant. Right.

Speaker 1 That is brilliant. Yeah.
You punch each other, right? If you knock them out, they die, obviously, because they can't open the body. So what? Right.
So what? Don't lose. That's great.
Skyfighting.

Speaker 1 Skyfighting. Sky fighting.
You jump out of the same plane or different planes. It's got to be the same plane.
How do you meet them? What do you mean? Have you never seen that? They jump out.

Speaker 1 You can change your direction.

Speaker 1 No, this is what you do. Same plane.
Same plane. But you have a distance, but you're still tied to them.
Oh, you're tandem. Yeah, there's a rope that's connected to our belly, right?

Speaker 1 So you have to fight. So if one guy dies, the other guy, he gets to pull.

Speaker 1 He gets to pull. Here, check it out.
You knock the guy out. Yeah.
And then you 69 him. And you get to come down.
Why don't you 69? No, why do you have to pick it up?

Speaker 1 No, because he's 69. He's halfway.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Love it. That's what you want? Yeah.
Just 69 somebody. Fine.

Speaker 1 From a plane. Sky fighting is brilliant.
What's another one? Well, how about fighting underwater? I would love to see a little tango down below. Oh, it's like sloths fighting.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I could do that one. I like fighting on fire.
Ooh. Like a fire pit would be dope.
Yeah. And not a whole thing isn't on fire, but around it is on fire.
Ooh,

Speaker 1 you have a floating ring.

Speaker 1 Check it out. Oh, yeah.
No, you don't even know. What's in the water? What? What's in the water? What's in the water? What's in the water? That's not what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 I'm talking about a floating fighting ring on water. What's in the water? It's not what's in the water.
What's happening in the water? What's happening? Tsunami. Oh,

Speaker 1 expensive.

Speaker 1 It's timing. Timing.
The timing is everything on this one, right? Yeah, that's tough. But you got to work with that.
You have a flotation, right? And then all the debris. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 There's debris happening, right? Somebody's house, right?

Speaker 1 It's wavy or whatever they call it. turbulence, sure, yeah, yeah, wow, what about the cameraman? I don't know, that would be tough.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, okay, Union, Union, okay, Union, those guys are tough. Okay, a tornado fight would be amazing.
Fighting in the middle of a tornado, who gets swept away.

Speaker 1 Dude, that'd be cool. I watched the trailer for Twister.
Yes, it's the same movie.

Speaker 2 Twisters.

Speaker 1 It's the same movie. It was Helen Hunt and Bill Pullman.
Yeah. Now it's fucking

Speaker 1 Bill Paxton. Paxton.
Yeah. And now it's Glenn

Speaker 1 Powell and who is the girl? I don't know. It's look, it's the same fucking movie.
But look, can I say something? They have two this time. Yeah, there's plural.
It's not the same movie.

Speaker 1 There were many Twisters in Twister. It wasn't just one.
They have twins in this one. Yeah, yeah.
They have twin babies? Twin Twisters. But dude, imagine.
Wow.

Speaker 1 But do you know who else was the same fucking movie? You know who else was in Twister? Don't say anything. No one says it.
You know who else is in Twister?

Speaker 1 Great actor.

Speaker 1 The thing about Twister you don't realize is they had great actors. Well, I love their rigging.
So who was in it? Philip Seymour Hoffman. Oh, oh my God, he was in Twister.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, he was in that. I mean, imagine having that caliber in a fucking disaster movie.
It's insane. He was so good.
Yeah, he was her helper, right? He was like on her team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I liked his character. And then what's his name from Secession? I know.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Tim. No.
No.

Speaker 1 Lemon Guess.

Speaker 1 I know. Alan Ruck.
Alan Ruck. Fuck.
Why did you do that? Alan Rock. Alan Rock.
Philip Seymour Hoffman. I mean, look at that fucking cast.
Wow. Yeah.
And now they got Glenn Powell and fucking.

Speaker 1 Who's the new girl? Do you even know who the new girl is? Is she a new girl they're selling us? Yeah. This is a new girl they're selling us.
Hollywood's at it.

Speaker 1 This is when Hollywood's at it when they push a girl that I've never heard of before. I've never seen her before and she's in a thing.
Don't sell us. Come on.
Zoom in. Oh, it's Daisy Edgar Jones.

Speaker 1 Never mind. I know who she is.
We already sold. She's been around for a while.
But it didn't look like her.

Speaker 1 It didn't look like her in the preview. What was her biggest movie, Daisy Edward? Star Wars, right? No, no, no, no.
Another Daisy Raidley.

Speaker 1 Dude,

Speaker 1 what was she in? I'm sorry, I don't know, Bob. War of the Worlds.
That was a good movie. That's a TV show she was on.
Oh, okay. Go down.
I've never. Oh, she was in Normal People.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can I talk about War of the Worlds with the people? I loved Normal People. Remember that? Normal people.
Normal people. Can I talk about War of the Worlds? Normal people.

Speaker 1 War of the Worlds? Yeah, can I talk about it? Please. Okay.

Speaker 1 Spielberg's.

Speaker 2 Yeah, man.

Speaker 1 John Krasinski's.

Speaker 1 that's so funny. Thank you.
We should have just ended there. That's good.
Yeah. Thank you for bringing her back on.