We Are Betas

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Speaker 1 You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 A white dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 We're bad friends. You know, you know, when you're on the road and I'm on the road, separately,

Speaker 1 there is a sadness that occurs in my life. Big time, I call you.
I know you call me from the stage. And I said, I really miss you, bad.
I know.

Speaker 1 But I had so much fun in Phoenix and they were chanting for you. Yeah, and how did Jesse do? Not good.
I know. No, she did great.
Oh, I mean, she's great.

Speaker 1 She did so good.

Speaker 1 I disagree with you. She did so good.
Because you're an honest guy, you know. We had a great host.
It was great. Jackie.
We had so much fun, man. Phoenix was incredible.
It's a nice club.

Speaker 1 It's a great club. Then I go to Nashville, dude.
This weekend? Yay!

Speaker 1 I got nothing. I got nothing until September.
But my point being is

Speaker 1 September.

Speaker 1 Aren't you doing the thing with Segura? I'm doing Sakura and Kryser.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 I'm doing that

Speaker 1 Fattapalooza thing. Yes.

Speaker 1 Welcome back to Fatapalooza. How much can you eat, drink, and fart out? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But, you know, I want to say that, you know, I believe that things happen for a reason and you run into people for a reason. Do you agree or no? Yeah, and like

Speaker 1 things are kismet or meet cutes, like a meet cute. Meet cute.
You think we met on a meet cute? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's so funny? I don't even want a meet cute. I've never heard of that.
Meet cute? Meet cute. Meet cute.
Meet cute. I have an uncle named Meet Kut.
Yeah, Meet Kute.

Speaker 1 He does nails. He does nails, yeah.
Meet Kit.

Speaker 1 You want jail? I don't know. I think that, I know, I think that, you know, it was just inevitable that we would meet, but in terms of like

Speaker 1 being, you know, partners for this project was meet cute. It was meet kid.
Yeah. And you know, so yesterday.
Universal Energies. Universal Energies.
So Sunday, I was...

Speaker 1 Mark Norman told me to come down and do his podcast at the store. Hey, come on down, buddy.
Yeah, and I came down. Whitney was on.
A bunch of people were on it. I met Joe List for the first time.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Yeah.
He's the best. Funny guy.
All those dudes are great. Super funny.
I did good. Hey, man, come on.
And I just kind of walked off. She says, you know how I do.
Yeah, you leave.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. You know, like Elvis.
Bobby has left the building. You think it's like Elvis? Whatever.
Do you think you're like Elvis? Because you cut your hair short now. You're kind of.
There it is.

Speaker 1 I am. You're a hunk of burning love.

Speaker 1 No, I don't. I mean, I don't have his looks, but I think I have his energy, you know?

Speaker 1 You do, no, you like that laugh. No, no, you do.
Yeah, do I have Elvis's energy?

Speaker 1 No, okay, Chinese Elvis, Chinese, anyway. We've done it, but I was leaving, yeah, I was leaving, and then I hear, hey, hey, dude, I hear, hey, dude, is that Chinese Elvis? No,

Speaker 1 no, it's like, yeah, it's an Israeli kid. Oh, he goes, hey, dude.

Speaker 1 I go, what? And I see this, like, at first, I thought it was like

Speaker 1 a sick Robert Smith from the Cure. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
um

Speaker 1 just a little pale face pale face yeah yeah and I go it was sunny too so it was during the day

Speaker 1 and then I looked at him and he go and I recognized him and I go I've seen him online you know yeah and he goes I'm a big fan of you dude or whatever and I is he deaf no no no that's how he sounds okay yeah yeah

Speaker 1 and then um we had a little conversation on the patio we exchanged numbers And now he's here. You gave him your real number.
I did. And here he is.
Yeah. Say hi, bud.

Speaker 1 Now I talk. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's wrong with you? What's going on? What's going on?

Speaker 1 I love you so much. Dude, you're so good.
Is there something about you? You know, can I say something about you, dude? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a sadness about you and an anger.

Speaker 1 I was thinking more hate and anger, more than sad. I'm not a sad guy.
You're not a sad guy? No. Oh, you're happy.
Happy, but angry.

Speaker 1 We had an interesting conversation, though, you and I, Matan, did we not?

Speaker 1 Very interesting. Yeah, was I nice? A nice guy.
I'm a nice guy. Small.

Speaker 1 What What do you mean? Because I thought you were going to be a little bit bigger. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, okay.

Speaker 1 But is it like unnaturally small? What do you mean? Oh, like it's not natural how small you are?

Speaker 1 Am I dwarf-like?

Speaker 1 Not that being a dwarf, being a dwarf is natural. I think you're a little bit taller.

Speaker 1 Just a very little bit taller than a dwarf.

Speaker 1 You wouldn't categorize me. If you were a doctor, you wouldn't be like.

Speaker 1 Right above the line.

Speaker 1 Great.

Speaker 1 That means, you know what? That means I can get on the rides.

Speaker 1 Can you? Oh, they have a lot of you guys at Universal. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They made a whole team park for you guys.

Speaker 1 What's you guys mean? Oh, you know what I mean. No, no, no.
I don't know what you mean. What do you can't say? No, no, no.
What do you, Matan? I know you're a kid. All right.

Speaker 1 So I want to be gentle with you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Look at me right now. Look at me right now.
No,

Speaker 1 don't do that. Matan.

Speaker 1 Are you talking about Harry Potter town? Oh,

Speaker 1 not Harry Potter. Oh, Little Tokyo? No, the Little Minions.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Let me ask you, because they're yellow? Now he's doing your material.

Speaker 1 Oh, he does that. He says that joke before.
He says that joke before. Yeah, I said it before.

Speaker 1 Matan, where are you from? Oh, I'm from Los Angeles. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. We're talking the valley, right, baby? Oh, yeah.
I was born in Sino. And now you live in Tarzana? No, now I live in Sino.
Okay, good. Yeah, so still in Sino.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're a senior in high school coming up? Yeah, right now I'm the 11th grade. I don't know which one that one's coming.
That's a junior. That's a junior.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But you're homeschooled? No, I went to school, but now I'm just doing online because

Speaker 1 I had to leave. Why? Some problems with the teachers, just

Speaker 1 problems. You had problems or they had problems? I was, well, it was mutual, I guess.
Yeah, it does seem mutual. Yeah.
There's no way that's a one-way street. Yeah.
But you know what?

Speaker 1 Who needs school? No, I mean, his podcast is, I mean, it's popping a little bit. I've seen it.
Yeah, it's very. It's popping a little bit, you know.
You're very aggressive on your podcast.

Speaker 1 You yell at people. No, I'm not aggressive.

Speaker 1 You go fat. You go, fat, fuck.
Oh, that was a producer. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 He died actually on the stairs. He was?

Speaker 1 We fell down the stairs after that.

Speaker 1 He did? We said it in the thing. It was we had a little funeral for him.
You killing it, bud? Killing it, Ken. You met Dan Schneider? Oh, almost.
I had one of his clients on. Wow.
Whoa.

Speaker 1 So that's pretty good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe by transference, you picked up some of that. Yeah.
How do you feel about the liver king? The liver king? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think he's alpha. Yeah, he is alpha.
He's alpha. Yeah.

Speaker 1 High testosterone, real man. Oh, are you? You're a real man.

Speaker 1 I know what you are. What? You're not alpha.
No, I'm alpha.

Speaker 1 I'm a real man. No, no, you're not.
How much do you weigh? Like, maybe close to 130, is my guess. That's a real man right there.
Man, because he's pure, pure man, pure

Speaker 1 brain and muscle. How old are you? I'm 17 right now.
I just turned 17.

Speaker 1 Whoa! Yeah, congrats.

Speaker 1 What are your dreams, your goals? Your hopes? Real quick, I got you guys a gift.

Speaker 1 All right, go, go, go. Yeah, give me the gift.
Go give you the gift. How exciting.

Speaker 1 This guy's. Oh, wow.
Wow. Is that an M4? Is that an M44? M4468? Vacuum.
Oh, it's

Speaker 1 a model.

Speaker 1 I bought you a gift as well. Oh, shit.
Thank you. Oh, this is my specific gift.
Oh, yeah. Okay, cool.
Whoa. Whoa, who's that signed by? That's signed by me, but it's a poster of the Beatles.

Speaker 1 Yeah, wow.

Speaker 1 That's a great signature. I've always wanted one of these.
Yeah. We just, do you know the 7-Eleven by the Baskin-Robbins? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I bought that there. It was $10.

Speaker 1 It was $10. You wanted it? $10.
And the sharp was $2. Yeah, how much was this?

Speaker 1 I don't think I paid for that. Does it work? I believe it makes a funny noise when you turn it off.
Yeah, but you don't think it'll work. Plug it in.
No, it works, but it's like half broken.

Speaker 1 Well, let's hear it. Turn it on.
Let's see, McCone.

Speaker 1 It works.

Speaker 1 It's funny to watch McCone. Did you sign it, though? No, I signed the B.
I'd prefer you to sign the vacuum as well. You want me to sign the vacuum? Yeah, please.

Speaker 1 I can do it after, but just don't sell it because it's going to...

Speaker 1 Unless you can give me some of the money. Now, where did you get it? Is this something that runs in the family? Are you guys...

Speaker 1 No, that's one of the... You know how sometimes people oh no it sounds great dude it works yeah it's good yeah yeah it's good thank you so much welcome that's very nice

Speaker 1 yeah okay but you know honestly i thought it was broken i was kind of a little mad about it but if since it works what a great gift a vacuum that works thank you clap clap clap clap clap yeah wow pull your hair back like you just did again and hold it like that Look, no, look at Bob.

Speaker 1 No, hold your hands on your head. Yeah, yeah.
No, because you want my eyes to... No, no, no.
Hold your hands. We're not doing that.
We're not doing that.

Speaker 1 Pull your hair back and and hold it tight like that.

Speaker 1 I love it. What do you see? And Hathaway.
Yeah. And Hathaway? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Beautiful. Yeah, beautiful.
Who is that? Little Isla Fisher in there. Little Isla Fisher in there.
Gorgeous. I mean, dude, let me.
Matan, I mean, I don't know if this is this against because he's 17.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying that if you transitioned. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 No. No, because if you say it three times, it'll happen.
You can't do that.

Speaker 1 We've already said it twice.

Speaker 1 If you transitioned,

Speaker 1 that's too. Be careful because you might have to.
It would go pretty well for you, I think. If he was, no, no, no.
You have good jawline. No, no, I'm not one of those.
You are a pretty girl. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You are a pretty girl. You would be a pretty girl.
Pretty girl. You're a pretty boy, but you're a pretty boy.

Speaker 1 I don't want to talk about it because every time I get into that conversation, people get mad for what I'm saying. Why? We're not going to talk about it.
Why don't we talk about it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, talk about what? What? That you'd be a pretty girl? Yeah, you're a pretty girl. You would be.
Look at your little chin. Look at your little cheeks.
Look at his cute cheeks. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You have cute cheeks.

Speaker 1 Can I? The shit. You know, I know.
Oh. Oh, the Jewish thing?

Speaker 1 I know who you look like.

Speaker 1 What? Joan of Arc.

Speaker 1 Little Joan. Little Joan.
Little Joan of Arc. She was Jewish, wasn't she? That's the guy in the Bible? Yeah.
Yeah. Jonah's Ark.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 There you are. There you are.
Oh, that really does look similar. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's pretty close. Yeah, that's pretty good.
She was a warrior.

Speaker 1 Well, now you know where you are for Halloween, bud. Oh, but she is not a real man.
That's why. She has a lot of hate in her heart.
Oh,

Speaker 1 I thought you said you have hate hate in your heart. Yeah, but if you have hate in your heart, but it's the wrong hate, you're not a real man.
So, what's the real hate? Oh, just hating.

Speaker 1 No, never mind.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no. No, don't never mind it.
Look at me.

Speaker 1 Matan, look at me.

Speaker 1 Matan, everything's fine. I love you.
Yeah. Yeah? No, he can't say that.
Well, I'm not going to say that. What kind of alpha are you? Oh.
Like a push-up alpha? Are you the guy that goes to the gym?

Speaker 1 No, no, I don't go to the gym. But just not like a strong alpha.
That's a different one. You can do double, but I know what.
What? You're like Lex Luthor. Lex Luthor? Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, I want to be like Ben Shapiro.

Speaker 1 Right. Right.
Oh, yeah. I don't know if he would be considered alpha.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No.
No. You don't think so? I don't really, I don't think, but I, but maybe.

Speaker 1 I think you're more like Alex Jones. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you love that guy. I went on there a couple times.
I know. I know.
I saw. That's incredible.
That's incredible. I was 12.

Speaker 1 How do people feel in high school about Bobby lee

Speaker 1 like high school people think he's funny i never heard him right

Speaker 1 yeah there's not much conversation yeah

Speaker 1 okay but didn't you i

Speaker 1 didn't you

Speaker 1 didn't you go you came oh no i know you oh that's because i'm like in the space i only knew you after high school right oh outside of high school yeah well no no not outside of high school i'm saying i knew you since i left oh since you left okay okay how long has that been about a year a little over a year.

Speaker 1 Good. Good.
So, anyway, what I wanted to ask you, what I wanted to tell you is that we went through a list of things.

Speaker 1 And, you know, at the end of our conversation, we

Speaker 1 surmise. Stop.

Speaker 1 This is manipulated. No, no.
We surmised that you were a full-blown liberal. Oh, no.
Oh, shit. Does that hurt your feelings? Because it's nasty.
It's a reality. It is true.
100% true.

Speaker 1 We can go over it. We can go over it.
No, we don't have to go over it right now. I'm just letting you know that I did a list.
And

Speaker 1 you don't subscribe to any Republican?

Speaker 1 Yes, I do. Like what? I'm pro-gun.
No, you're not. I'm anti-abortion.
You're not pro-gun. Yep.
You're not anti-abortion.

Speaker 1 You didn't say that. No, because I didn't say that, Sunday, dude.
Let me tell you, he didn't say that, Sunday. Oh, no.
How about I'll tell you what he said? How about gay marriage?

Speaker 1 No. Yep.
Nope.

Speaker 1 Where's your brother? Well, listen, he doesn't go on camera. It doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 Anyway, he could defend. I'm not.
Just don't. Just let him defend himself.
But listen, because we were at that place, and I could tell that it was just a lot of other people like that, unfortunately.

Speaker 1 So I didn't want to hurt any feelings, so I was just trying to... The comedy store.
Yeah, a lot. You know what I mean? But we were outside of it.
LBGQ, fucking Mecca.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, what are you talking about? So other principles. Like, what makes you more Republican, you think? What do you eat for breakfast?

Speaker 1 Two waffles. And a chocolate milk.
Sounds pretty liberal to me, bud. No.
Yeah, yeah. A Republican would eat eggs and steak.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No.
Yeah, Yeah, because

Speaker 1 that's dinner time. Dinner? What do you mean? Dinner? Republicans don't eat dinner, dude.

Speaker 1 We're out there plotting and scheming. Oh, you're a Republican?

Speaker 1 Come on, man. Come on, bud.
You know what I mean? Bud, come on. Because I know you're a liberal.
You told me. This is a Republican show.
This is a hardcore Rebox show. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's why you fit in. Great.
Yeah. Should the government increase or decrease military spending? What do you think? All the way up.
Increase it. I want it to go to like $5 trillion a year.

Speaker 1 We're there. All right.
Should the U.S.

Speaker 1 remain in the the united nations no no okay why should fore wait wait why oh we're doing a liberal test yeah yeah look at me right now why why what why do we get out of the why should we uh get out of the u.s uh

Speaker 1 because that one is made so united nations like a real liberal he doesn't know what the fuck it even says you know shut the fuck up guys can we get shut up we remain in the united nations why why why no because the united nations met for the peace and all that but if we leave then we can start to maneuver on other countries that's right whoa should foreign terrorism suspects be given constitutional rights No.

Speaker 1 No. Lock them up, throw away the key, right? Kill them right away.
Kill them right away. Gone.
Straight away. Are you a fan of Guantanamo?

Speaker 1 Which one is not? Yeah. Yeah.
It's over there by Incino. Oh, you've seen Incino? Yeah, yeah.
It goes Tarzana, Incino, Guantanamo.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe I've been over there on accident. Maybe I passed by on the way.
Yeah, there's a really good coffee bean there. Oh, it is so good.
Yeah, it's like the first one, I think.

Speaker 1 How many white BMWs are in your driveway right now? Oh, no, I'm not Armenian, but there's a lot close by.

Speaker 1 Great question, dude. Thank you.
Dude, great question, dude. Should

Speaker 1 welfare recipients be tested for drugs? Oh, yeah. Yeah, why do you want to find out that they're on drugs? Because

Speaker 1 I want it to tell me I'm a Republican. Right.
Right. That's good.
Okay. You're like Middle Eastern Trump.

Speaker 1 Should the technology of our financial system transition to a decentralized protocol that's not owned or controlled by any corporation similar to the internet? Don't understand.

Speaker 1 I understand some of the things that we're doing. That's my figure that.

Speaker 1 Should the U.S. raise taxes on the rich?

Speaker 1 No, I want it to go down. Way down.
Okay,

Speaker 1 only for the rich, though. No, but the rich, they work for their money.
That's why.

Speaker 1 Wow. That's right.
Wow, wow, wow. And I have a lot of money.
I don't want to be taxed. Should the government continue to fund Planned Parenthood? No.
No, right.

Speaker 1 You want to shut it down? Wow. I want to put him in jail.
Right. Oh, God.
Oh, dude. What's your stance on abortion? We already know that you're pro-you're pro-life.
I already said it earlier.

Speaker 1 Okay, can I stop? Stop for a second, okay? May I stop for a second?

Speaker 1 Sunday,

Speaker 1 he said, I go, gay marriage. He goes, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's a lie. That's not true.

Speaker 1 Look at me right now, dude. Didn't happen.
Matona, look at me right now. So one of you guys is lying.
It seems like... Yeah, I'm not.
Number two, I go, I asked you about the border.

Speaker 1 And I said I wanted to make a bunch of people. I like Mexicans.
He goes, I like Mexicans. No, I didn't.
Yeah, you did. I said, I want to.
You said I like Mexicans.

Speaker 1 Did you not say you like Mexicans? I said we needed more white babies. Okay, no, you kidded.
No, you didn't. Yes, I did.
No, you did. No, you didn't, right? I mean,

Speaker 1 I said he does have a point. I asked you about guns, right? I said, I want to automatically.
No, you go. I said I want to automatically.
This is what he said. Can I just May talk now?

Speaker 1 I love you, dude. Thanks for coming.

Speaker 1 Look at me. It's making me angry.
I know I know.

Speaker 1 This is what he said, okay? He goes, well, you know, a lot of these school shootings are with, you know what I mean, AK-47, so we should get rid of those.

Speaker 1 Oh, you want to know what my you not to interrupt you, but I have a solution for that. Without taking away the guns.
What? Do you think a school shooter is able with the gun, whatever?

Speaker 1 It doesn't matter what gun. Let's say he has an automatic.
It doesn't even matter. Do you think he can take down one guard, like police dog?

Speaker 1 Listen. But can he shoot? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop.
Can you shoot a dog? I didn't even understand.

Speaker 1 One of those school guys versus one trained dog. Can you take them down? Yes or no? Well, with a gun, yeah.
Okay, what about five? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Ten?

Speaker 1 He's getting closer now, right? Yeah, 10 is getting a little shaky. Okay, what about 100? 100, no chance.
Okay, so what if we do 100 of those dogs per classroom per school?

Speaker 1 100 dogs per classroom? No, no, no, you should take away the gun. So you're talking about, what are we talking? Each in a classroom

Speaker 1 in a school, you're talking 40 classrooms? Yeah, somewhere like that.

Speaker 1 Let's double-double. How about some lions? Well, they're not.
I don't think there's enough. Well, they're not trained or legal.
He's proposing something legal. Oh, it's not my bad.
That does.

Speaker 1 There's guard dogs for each student in the school. And then every time.
This is the problem, dude. Feeding those dogs.
No, you know what? It costs a lot of money. That's their issue.

Speaker 1 But what we need to do,

Speaker 1 they're going to know to attack when there's a loud noise. They're going to just start going crazy and get whoever they can get.
So they're just going to eat the kids as well.

Speaker 1 No, no, just whoever. So you're going to lose some of the kids?

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I thought you were gay. Oh, oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 And you were like, look, I picked the blue channel. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Smart. That's smart.
He asked me that. That other Asian guy asked me.
He said, Do you want to sit in the blue chair or the pink? I said, Blue.

Speaker 1 How did your family play chess in the fucking park in Griffith Park?

Speaker 1 What Asian?

Speaker 1 What other Asian? What Asian? That guy? You asked me?

Speaker 1 That guy's Mexican.

Speaker 1 You think that guy's Asian? Yeah, that guy's Mexican. That guy's Mexican.
No, he's not. Yeah, he's from Mexico City.
I don't believe that.

Speaker 1 He's been my friend for 30 years.

Speaker 1 See, that didn't sound real. Well, he's a gay Mexican.
They always say, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I know, that's double down for you. You ask him to move a little back.

Speaker 1 That can be uncomfortable. He moved back to Mexico.
But that would be preferable. Well, fortunately.
What do you think, Juan? Juan.

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's fine. John?

Speaker 1 I mean, the amount of weed that he must have smoked today. Yeah, do you smoke a lot of weed? A little.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 A little.

Speaker 1 A lottle.

Speaker 1 Okay, well,

Speaker 1 fine.

Speaker 1 Guy,

Speaker 1 you do what you do. We're just a fan of yours.

Speaker 1 They don't have water at homeschool?

Speaker 1 Do you know how to work that? Yeah, I got it open. It just took me a second.
Okay. We'll take a drink out of it.
Oh, no. No, we'd love to see you drink.

Speaker 1 But I don't, what if you guys put something in it? Because you just said something funny. You just cracked the seal.
You just saw the seal crack open. I just want to make sure you're not a narc.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'll take a sip. Take a sip.
Take a sip.

Speaker 1 Don't hide it.

Speaker 1 Don't hide it.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's really good.

Speaker 1 Did he have a sip?

Speaker 1 I think he got a little bit. It looked like he had a sip.
Oh, yeah. Look, I really took a sip.
Yeah. That's a good bit, dude.

Speaker 1 You have painted nails?

Speaker 1 Yeah, and you saw that Sunday and you and you complimented his Sunday.

Speaker 1 No, no, you're complimenting. Go fuck it.
Go fuck yourself. Hey, kid, go fuck yourself.
You know, look at the YouTube. Go back to my YouTube and go down.

Speaker 1 Look, I want to show you that I'm not kidding around about that. That's horrible.
About what's horrible? Painted nails? I kicked somebody out of my podcast for that.

Speaker 1 But he was a little more feminine than you. That's why.

Speaker 1 Here, go down a little bit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there he is. Look, the one with the fire.

Speaker 1 You see? Yeah. I got him out.

Speaker 1 Why? Because he painted his nails. Okay.
And what is that? Well, he was painting his nails while he was shooting?

Speaker 1 No, I just realized in the middle of the podcast he painted his nails, I told him to leave. Okay.
Yeah, because it was feminine? Because it's beta. Yeah, it's.
Alright, so Matan, watch. I'm doing it.

Speaker 1 Are you getting rid of it? No, I'm painting it. And what would you say? Oh, if I saw this? No, let's act.
Oh, hypothetical.

Speaker 1 Do you see me painting my nails actually? No, this is a fucking bit. Okay, let me try.

Speaker 1 Do it. Alright.
Doody do.

Speaker 1 Doody do.

Speaker 1 do

Speaker 1 do do.

Speaker 1 You're calling the cops? Yeah. I was trying to get to the number.
That's not illegal anymore, man. It's not illegal.
Not illegal? Yeah, yeah. Not anymore.
No, what would you? I want you to yell at me.

Speaker 1 No, I wouldn't confront you myself. I would take a picture of you or something.
Yeah, yeah. And then I would have somebody find you later that day.

Speaker 1 Can we do a version of this?

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 Can we do a version of this where you do yell? What would you have somebody find him and do? Like have snail pit and polish over and say hello? Take it off. Touch him a little bit.

Speaker 1 Just like, not a happy touch. Just say hello to him.
Say, just make sure everything's okay with him. Yeah.
Yo.

Speaker 1 God, man, those Israeli soldiers are wild. They're wild.

Speaker 1 I know. They're wild.
Oh, no. Don't associate me with that stuff.
Oh, that's right. Sorry about that.
Oh, not so what you said Sunday. But anyway, no, no, no.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you, you.

Speaker 1 What did I say on Sunday about that? Yeah, you love Israel. No, yeah, you're haram.
That's how I said. That's not what I said.

Speaker 1 You, you. You told me.
Yo, you did. No, you told me you love Israel.
I said I. I did not say that.
I said, I. I said, no.

Speaker 1 I told you that I... Haram, Haram.
I said, hey, listen.

Speaker 1 I said, I'm not.

Speaker 1 Am I speaking something? Yeah, I'm speaking in tongues right now.

Speaker 1 You're telling me that I'm not kosher. You're kosher.
You're telling me I'm not kidding. You, you, you, you, or not.
I'm not.

Speaker 1 I'm haram.

Speaker 1 Oh, so I'm saying you're bad. I'm bad.
You're bad. Well, you don't even know.
I realize what you're saying. Is it haram a real word? Yeah, in Arabic.
Fuck yeah, TC. Yeah, good.

Speaker 1 I speak in tongues, bro. You're good with Arabic.
You've always been good. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Forbidden, forbidden. Haram means it's forbidden or all of them.
Yeah, it's like ba.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to transfer my speaking tongues, but he's not doing it.

Speaker 1 Habibi.

Speaker 1 Very good. Bibi.
Habibi. Habibi.
Habibi means my love. Habibi means my love.
No, but listen, I'm no longer Israeli.

Speaker 1 I'm a born-again Armenian, just so you know. God bless.
You were telling me Sunday about you're saving yourself until you get married? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
That's nice. That'll be a while.
Old school.

Speaker 1 It'll be a while, you think? Huh? It'll be a wild, huh? It's possible, yeah. So you've never had a girlfriend? No.
Okay. Have you ever had girls that are friends?

Speaker 1 No, no, no, really. I try to stay away from them.
Right. Well, that would make it tougher to have a girlfriend then, too.
Yeah. Oh, another thing you were saying.

Speaker 1 What's your idea of a perfect date if you're going to take girl on a date? A romantic date? No, no, no. The non-romantic kind of platonic date with a woman.
A natonic date? With a woman, yeah.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't do it, platonic date. Right, so give me your time.
Give me the romantic one. Oh, um.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I never thought about it i'm trying okay here matan oh like buffalo wild

Speaker 1 think this out all right i know you don't like to play in a scenario yeah but i know but we're gonna do it right now okay okay so i i'm just curious to see how you would pick up on a girl so let's suppose you're at the glendale mall oh galleria

Speaker 1 you love it there right well with a lot of my people new new people are over there yeah yeah yeah

Speaker 1 right and so i'm over at the sephora

Speaker 1 you see me i'm just playing the scenario and i'm like i'm i'm getting makeup right? And you think, and you want to. Are you a man or a woman? I'm a woman, dude.
I'm a beautiful woman, dude.

Speaker 1 Look at him. Hi.

Speaker 1 See?

Speaker 1 Hi.

Speaker 1 What are you doing?

Speaker 1 He gets nervous.

Speaker 1 So I want you to act it up, see what you would say, okay?

Speaker 1 Are you ready? Beautiful woman. Beautiful woman.
Okay, so not Bobby Lee. No, I'm Lucy Lou.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. I wouldn't go up.
Sandra O.

Speaker 1 Does it just sound like Asian people? I'm sorry. Oh, you don't like Asians?

Speaker 1 All right, man.

Speaker 1 Olivia Munn. Yeah, it's a a white.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Just give it.
It doesn't matter. I won't go.
Margot Robbie. Look at that.
I'm Margo Robbie. Whatever.
Sure.

Speaker 1 I'm Margo Robbie. Is that how she sounds? Yeah, I don't know.
Pretty accurate. Pretty accurate, right?

Speaker 1 Hey, this is. Go ahead.
Let's see what you would say.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm trying to. What? Am I doing? You're trying to ask me out on a fucking date, man.
I don't want to ask Bobby Leo. No, you're no.

Speaker 1 I'm Margot Robbie in this scene. Oh, so there's Margo Robbie there? I am.
So why are you there, Margo Robbie? Because I'm acting. But why not him or the other Asian guy?

Speaker 1 No, no, because they're not on the show. Matan, just do it.
Oh, just interact with your hypothetical. Yeah, yeah.
Hypothetical.

Speaker 1 This is not. I'm Margot Robbie.

Speaker 1 But what am I trying to do? Ask me on a date. Do I know that it's a celebrity or no?

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know who she is.
Also, but

Speaker 1 okay, let me think, because then I'm going to approach it differently. Okay, good, good.
Don't think too much. Don't think too much.
Just

Speaker 1 instinct. Hello, what's your name?

Speaker 1 It's a good start. Very good stuff.

Speaker 1 You can't do this. I'm trying to see.

Speaker 1 I'm Margo. I'm Margo Robbie.
Oh, the celebrity?

Speaker 1 Wow, wow, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 That was crazy. What are you doing, sir?

Speaker 1 Maybe he had a muscle twist. Yeah, yeah.
Sir, what was that? Why are you covering your face? What's wrong with you? Well, he's embarrassed about how he just acted. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'll see you. My eyes hurt a little bit.
Oh, go, go, okay. I mean.
That's what love feels like, bud. No, you missed the point of what I did.
You wouldn't be talking anymore. Elbow.
Oh,

Speaker 1 let's get over again. I didn't know.
All right. Okay.
Hello, what's your name? Margot.

Speaker 1 Whoa. Whoa, dude.
Well, yeah, maybe.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. What are you doing? Dragging your legs? Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's going to cry. It's emotional.
Are you crying? Yeah, I felt really bad. All right.
Water break. Water break.
Water break. Put some more of that water in your jacket.

Speaker 1 You know, maybe you and I should talk for a bit.

Speaker 1 Let him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, we can let's have him plug something and we can.

Speaker 1 He's here to plug something, right? No. Oh, I'm doing a promo.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm sponsored on this podcast.
Do your promo. Yeah.
Do it. I'm not under.
I don't have a sponsor, though. I think you do.

Speaker 1 I have a sponsor sheet. No, listen.
You just broke the table. No, how the fuck do you...
Did I really? No. Yeah, it's been broken.
Yeah, how the fuck?

Speaker 1 Are you making money off of YouTube?

Speaker 1 no i sell a course

Speaker 1 i guess that would be my promo you can buy my course i'm gonna teach you a lot of stuff how to get girls make money okay teach you all different stuff okay good yeah

Speaker 1 well those who can't

Speaker 1 you can make a lot of money with my course oh you can but you but you don't make a lot of money but other people can if they if they go to your course really it's only me you're the only one yeah that's signing up for your own course no i'm the only they're not making money They're not making any money.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you make all the money from them. No, because...
How much does it cost to join the course?

Speaker 1 Because I'm telling them... You can't hear the mic, right? No, we can't hear it.
I can't hear it. But I'm telling them that if they join the course, they're going to make money.

Speaker 1 And then the course tells them that they need to start a course with my affiliate link. Right.
Yeah. How much?

Speaker 1 Oh, that's a genius. To join, it costs you like $100.
$100?

Speaker 1 Oh, anybody can join my course for $100.

Speaker 1 But also, can I just say something? Yeah. They can't hear me at all.

Speaker 1 They can't hear you? No, they can't hear you. All right.
So what I'm saying is, just, you know, Sunday when we're talking, you're literal, right? No, I'm not literal.

Speaker 1 Anyway,

Speaker 1 so what I was going to say is that, you know, so you tell them

Speaker 1 to teach a course, but you get 10% of what they do, right? So it's a pyramid. Oh, no.
Well, yeah, actually. Yeah, yeah, actually.
That's the way to make money. Oh, no, but not a pyramid.

Speaker 1 I let them start other courses.

Speaker 1 I know, but you... Mike.
I know. Okay.

Speaker 1 But what I'm saying is that you still, when they're teaching other courses, you just get a percentage of their course. Not 10% more than that.
Well, 25%, whatever it is. 20%.

Speaker 1 What am I? Okay, 30%. 30%.

Speaker 1 That's fair. Not 80.
That's insane. But that's what I'm charging them.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Go back. Take your mic off now because everyone can hear you.
Okay. I'm going to get out of here.

Speaker 1 Why? I was just thinking about tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's going on tomorrow? I want to know about the course. Oh, you want to know about my course? I want to know about the course.

Speaker 1 What about it?

Speaker 1 That's smart. Yeah.
As a salesman, that's smart. You make me dig to find out.
I like that. Try selling you the course? Yeah, sell me the course.

Speaker 1 How much money do you make? I make $22,000 a year. $22,000 a year? Yeah.
Are we interacting with you or is it just a random person? Either way, man, take the ball and run with it.

Speaker 1 I make $22,000 a year. Oh, that's not a lot of money.
How are you affording rent? Well, I mean, I'm barely getting by, but my wife makes a pretty fair amount of money and she does.

Speaker 1 Also, the wife is making more money than you. You're a beta.
And if you don't want to be a beta, then I'm going to to help you. But if you want to continue with the wife.
Excuse me. I'm his wife.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's really.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to speak to women. Don't put your hand in front of my face.
Okay, thank you. I'm not listening to women about business.
All right.

Speaker 1 Whoa, wow, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Take your fucking...
I'm a fucking judge. Hold on.
Hey, babe. I'm a judge.
Babe, babe, babe. Babe, babe.
Congratulations. Babe.

Speaker 1 Babe. Will you stop doing that, dude? Well, it's kind of helping.
So listen, how do we get

Speaker 1 this?

Speaker 1 How do I make enough money to leave this fucking bitch?

Speaker 1 Sorry. But you need to join my course.
I'm not going to make enough money to leave.

Speaker 1 I'm going to teach you multiple different ways. I can teach you crypto trading.
We already do crypto trading. We do crypto.
Hey, you fucking kid, moron. We do.
Baby.

Speaker 1 Wait, where'd you go? Baby. Where'd he go?

Speaker 1 Where did he go?

Speaker 1 Baby love. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's gone. He's gone.
Okay. That's why you're not.
Oh, there he is. That's why you're not making any money to crypto because your wife is involved.
So I got to get her out of my life.

Speaker 1 Is she telling you which ones to buy and sell? She always has, yeah. So that's why you're losing because it's a woman, doesn't know when it's going to go up and down.

Speaker 1 The man knows. Only men can know that kind of thing.
Only alpha men. And you're right now a beta, so you would lose money, anyways.
But okay, can I just say something right now?

Speaker 1 I can still see you with your hand in front of you. I can't see you.
Okay, I'm going to let you know. So anyway, I own our house, right, honey?

Speaker 1 Honey, do I own our house? Yeah, she does. Yeah, our house is $12.5 million in Beverly Hills, okay? And this guy makes $20,000 a month? Yeah, right? No,

Speaker 1 he's got a great dick. Okay.
And I like to fuck his dick. Thank you, baby.
Yeah, you're welcome. All right.
What do you think about that? I'm going to say this.

Speaker 1 You live at home with your parents. No, I live in a...
No, you don't. You do.
You live in a mansion. You live at home with your parents with your brother.
No, $12.6 million mansion in Beverly Hills.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's bigger than mine?

Speaker 1 By the point.

Speaker 1 What's the address? The address? Yeah, what's the address? Yeah, what's the address?

Speaker 1 Well, you go there every day.

Speaker 1 Beverly Hills. Oh, that's the address.
But I'm not going to give you my address. The specific.

Speaker 1 I don't want to. What if we just want to send you like a card in the mail? Yeah, but I don't want a woman involved with the mail.
That's gonna ain't really bad. Yeah, yeah, women shouldn't touch mail.

Speaker 1 I've said that for years. That's insane.
No, I've said what you're saying is insane. What I'm saying is insane.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's because I'm writing.
Do you love your mother?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but she doesn't get involved with business. Do you love your mother? Yeah.
You respect her? Yeah. Respect women.

Speaker 1 If they know the place.

Speaker 1 She doesn't get involved with the business in the house. Right.
Right. What about outside the house? What do you mean?

Speaker 1 She's not going to go outside the house to do business. Is she allowed outside of the house? Well, that's not up to me.

Speaker 1 Who's it up to? Well, no, that's up. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Speaker 1 God, God? No, because she's in jail right now. But regardless.
God is in fucking jail? No, no. My mother is in jail right now.
What did she do? Really? Yeah. What did she do?

Speaker 1 So that would be up to the police. What did she do? What did she do? Yeah.
I don't think I can say it. Am I allowed? Yeah, you are.
Because it was a really nasty felony.

Speaker 1 Why don't you take a look at one of your attorneys up there? They might tell you if you're allowed to say it. Yeah, you're good, man.
There you go. Allowed? Yeah, you're good.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, she was going to give me a car. She tried to steal it.
No, I mentioned it earlier. I had my body going to give me a car so I can learn to drive.
Unfortunately, they got her.

Speaker 1 Grand Theft Auto. No, no, no, Grand Theft Auto.
They just, that's what they claim, but she didn't do it. Yeah, I know.
How did she get the car then?

Speaker 1 Well, she was in it for a little, and then they, I mean, by going like 105 on the on the freeway, that's why I didn't want her to drive in the first place. How big is the bed that you sleep in?

Speaker 1 The twin? I bet you it's a single single. It's not a king, it's a single.
Single, yeah.

Speaker 1 Like one of those race car beds. Who tucks your sheets? Do your mom tuck your sheets at night? She's in jail.
No, she's not.

Speaker 1 She's not. Because you talked to how much you love your mother.
Yeah, I think you love your mommy. Yeah, yeah.
And love your father. I think you love your mommy and your father.
Yeah, I do. You do.

Speaker 1 And I bet you, money, she does your laundry and she makes your bed. She used to.
When you come home,

Speaker 1 and when you come home. But you're describing every night, every night, every night.

Speaker 1 You're describing a woman's role in the household. See, you were doing it subconsciously.
I caught you there. You said you love your mother.

Speaker 1 She does the laundry and the dishes and tucks you in the bed. See, you just described what a woman's supposed to do.
He just got me there. He got you good.
Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 You're deep down or able to become alpha. But you.
Oh, I'm not alpha? No, right now. If you.
What am I? What would you describe me as?

Speaker 1 Beta. Yeah, beta.
You think I'm a bitch?

Speaker 1 Yeah, basically. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's unfortunate you had potential.

Speaker 1 You ever had a 17-year-old call you a little bitch?

Speaker 1 No, I didn't. I'll be honest with you.
No, and it fucking

Speaker 1 me so angry.

Speaker 1 It makes me feel. I fucking.
This isn't anything. No, it doesn't do anything.
Yeah, I think we figured that out. Yeah, yeah.
I'm not drinking. Yeah, yeah.
No, I took a sip. He's and I'm watching.

Speaker 1 Hey, hey, dude, you're a bitch, too. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
But that doesn't mean anything. Yeah, that's true.
Why? Because I'm a beta saying it? Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 And Alpha calls you a bitch, then it hurts, huh? Oh, if, if, well, they won't do it.

Speaker 1 Why is that? Because they know not to say it to a different alpha. Alpha can't do that to another alpha.
They have mutual respect for you.

Speaker 1 Listen, kiddie, like a physical confrontation between you and I. Do you think you'd be me in a fight?

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's just that's false.
You're false.

Speaker 1 Don't these guys all know Krav Maga? Oh, yeah, they do. No, what's no, no, that one is for those fucking Israeli people, but there's a new one I'm learning.
What's it called?

Speaker 1 I forget. That's how I'm trying to think.
Oh, Jiu-Jitsu?

Speaker 1 No, not Jiu-Jitsu.

Speaker 1 Really funny. Thanks.
Dude, Jiu-Jitsu is funny, dude. Thanks, man.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Anyway,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 You want to wrestle? Bobby was a fucking state wrestler. I don't want to touch him.

Speaker 1 What's your favorite meal?

Speaker 1 A raw piece of cow. A piss of cow? A raw piece.
Like a raw slab of the meat. A raw cut of steak.
yeah yeah yeah

Speaker 1 like a carpaccio situation was thinly sliced no no tartare no

Speaker 1 just a one like this like that one like a t-bone steak yeah

Speaker 1 this is a guy that's never probably eaten a steak when you describe steaks like this yeah it's like somebody's it's a square yeah yeah you get a square of fucking cow meat and you eat that yeah because it doesn't they cut it so it can cook correctly but if it's raw it doesn't matter

Speaker 1 so it's a perfect square oh yeah they will they cut it to look nice what cut of the meat you know what i know what you eat. Let me guess.

Speaker 1 Peanut butter for sure. No, I'm allergic.
I'm done.

Speaker 1 Real allergic. Whoa, only a beta would be allergic to peanut butter.
Yeah, yeah. That's a beta move.
So are you allergic or not? Are you beta or not? Whoa. Well, for one,

Speaker 1 get him some of that peanut butter. Make him eat it in front of us to prove it.
Right now, there's peanut butter over there. Make him fucking eat it.

Speaker 1 I want to prove that you're allergic. I bet you love macaroni and cheese.
It's not bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. Go over there and go get one of those.
And then you like jelly? There's cashews over there. Go get them.
You're saying I like peanut butter sandwich? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But what does the macaroni have to do with that? I know, just a separate thing. So a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and probably cheesy macaroni.
You love it. Ooh, you like cheesy mac.

Speaker 1 I don't like the way he did that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come here. Are you allergic to peanuts? You're allergic to nuts.
I'll eat some. This is to prove if you're an alpha.
If you're a cubicle.

Speaker 1 Okay, that says cashew. Same thing, dude.
Yeah, yeah. Open up.

Speaker 1 Oh, an alpha would have caught it. That's nerve.
That makes me nervous. Come on.
You tried to throw it over there. No, okay, put it in your mouth.
You want me to eat it? Yeah, you have to. Oh,

Speaker 1 oh, wow. You know how you realize? No.
You should be a magician. Oh, magic.
You're good at sleight of hand. Yeah.
Like, I didn't know where that cashew went.

Speaker 1 You don't know where it went?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 What's it, dude? Whoa. Shin Lim, move over.
What the fuck? That's magic, dude.

Speaker 1 Okay, show me the peanut or the cashew and then make it disappear. Go.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 move over. Shin Lim.
Move over.

Speaker 1 Wow. Move over Shin Limit.
Schindler. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's Schindler.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 let's plug your podcast. My podcast? Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Do you want me to do it or you to do it? I think you should do it. Yeah, I don't know anything about it.
I literally don't have anything to do. Okay, please.
Your guy's not even subscribed on the TV.

Speaker 1 No, no. But, oh, there we go.

Speaker 1 Unsubscribed. Yeah, so please, guys.
Unscribed, please. I guess the the people watching, I do my own thing.

Speaker 1 Look, our last guest, I don't know when this will be released, but he was a homeless guy on crack.

Speaker 1 That was the last guest.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, hopefully, in the future, I can get some better guests. And please take a look at it.
It's a great podcast.

Speaker 1 Before you go, though, can I ask you another little question? Because we were talking about Sunday, you said you had an interest in doing stand-up. Yeah, I've never done it because they don't let me.

Speaker 1 I'm 17. I know.
But because I met him at the comedy store, he was just kind of wandering around there. Yeah.
You know what I mean? You literally was just kind of hovering around.

Speaker 1 He goes, hey, I was going to try to get in. That's why.
Yeah. You remember that? Not my brother.
You remember the other guy I had with me? Yeah.

Speaker 1 He went in the kitchen.

Speaker 1 I swear, he literally went in.

Speaker 1 And what did he do? He reported back whether or not we could get inside through the kitchen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, you can do it through there.

Speaker 1 It doesn't work. It doesn't work.
He said there was an entrance through there. There's no entrance through there.
Yeah. You'd have to go through the manager's office.
I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I never went in. Anyway, so you're thinking about doing it? Yeah.
Okay, good. When are you going to start? I don't know.
I I wanted to call the people, I want to see if any of them.

Speaker 1 Give us a bid right now. Oh, you want me to do stand-up? Yeah, yeah.
Oh, shit. You that's on the spot, though.

Speaker 1 Is there a topic, or what is it? I'm just bringing you out. Hey, guys, welcome to Chuckle Chuckles.
Huh? Love this fucking place.

Speaker 1 Dude, you're in a mood today. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. You're tired.
I'm not tired. Okay.

Speaker 1 Hey, welcome to Chuckle Chuckles. I'm Alfie Smith.
Hey, hey, everybody. Love this.

Speaker 1 Anyway, it's a good comic. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey,

Speaker 1 oh, he's got a claw hand. Yeah.
Bing, ding, ding, ding. Yeah, what do you think? And they compete.

Speaker 1 I will leave. They're competing.

Speaker 1 You're backstage. Yeah, you have to go on.
I got to warm up the crowd, dude. Oh, so I'm not.
I don't hear this. Yeah, you're backstage.
You're going, oh my God, can I follow this?

Speaker 1 You're nervous. You're nervous.
You're like, this guy's crushing. Oh, right.

Speaker 1 Anyway, yeah, what is up?

Speaker 1 Putting the trays down on the airplane. What is that about? Yeah, what is it about? It's like, hey, if it crashes, we're all gonna die anyway.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 1 And then it's like the emergency.

Speaker 1 I can do it. Yeah,

Speaker 1 anyway, little tiger.

Speaker 1 Anyway, next comic coming to the stage. Wow, he's from Glendale.
Yeah. Yeah, he's Armenian, I think.
Yep. Matan, give him a round of applause, everybody.

Speaker 1 Hey, guys, what's going on? Hey, let's do some crowd work.

Speaker 1 Hey, sir, what's your name? Is that your... I don't know.
I'm gonna imagine I'm talking to them, right? Hey, you're white, but your girlfriend is black. What's up with that?

Speaker 1 Hey, look, take a look at him. Let's do some crowd work.
That guy is Asian. Out.

Speaker 1 Hey, let's. I think we've had enough crowd work.
Let's make some jokes. Hey, all right.
Let's do some crowd work. What's up with your girlfriend, man?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Is that still the same black eye, black girlfriend, black eye? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm targeting him a little bit. I get, oh, yeah, it's great, right? I love when you target.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Hey, well, yeah, that's.
We don't allow that type of interracial in here. Just like that guy over there.
So you might need to leave the. What was the place called? Chuckle Chuckle.

Speaker 1 Chuckle Chuckle. You might need to leave the building.
So Asian guy's gone and the white girl with the black guy's gone, too. Yeah, they just left.
No, white man with the black girl and Asians out.

Speaker 1 Less likely, but yeah, I get it. I get it.
Oh, that one's most likely. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I know what you're saying, but

Speaker 1 keep going. I love it.
We're in in the crowd, too. Yeah, yeah, we're like, yeah.

Speaker 1 Let me think. Let me.
Hey, you suck. Hey, let me chink.
I'm coming up with something. Yeah, this guy fucking sucks.
Hey, hold on.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to think. Yeah.
Hey, man. We want our fucking money back, dude.
Tell a joke, fucker. Where's Long now? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, here we go. So,

Speaker 1 um,

Speaker 1 oh, I, you, I have a crazy story. You guys want to hear my crazy story? Yeah,

Speaker 1 it was 1993. Better than the racism.
No, no.

Speaker 1 Don't call me racist, but listen.

Speaker 1 This is the story. It's an unbelievable story.
It's 1993. I'm in class, in college, or whatever.
And I don't want to go to class, but the teacher says, please, you have to, or I can't teach the class.

Speaker 1 What are you laughing at?

Speaker 1 Yeah. One second.
One second. I need to remember the story.
Oh, he's got a reset.

Speaker 1 Stop for the top subson. Do you want me to restart it? He's not going to get all the best comedy.
Yeah, you're good. We do that.
All right. So, sorry about that.
I forgot the story.

Speaker 1 So I'm in Spanish class.

Speaker 1 The teacher said, hey, make sure to come to class but I don't want to go and anyways let's skip a little forward it results in me taking Russian classes I'm do Russian one Russian two Russian three now it's Russian four we're going to Russia okay we get off the training this is back when Russia was owned by the mob it's run by the mob so the teacher says hey so these are your two security guards here I forget the names, one of the, but like I go or something, right?

Speaker 1 So then they said, don't get near them. They don't want to talk to you.

Speaker 1 And then after we're at like the hotel or something, and I leave my room They said don't get near them But I knocked on the door and then he opened it and he said something in Russia

Speaker 1 I and I didn't know what to do I'm getting nervous I go I'm the machine

Speaker 1 Right and then they he liked it and he let me in okay And so we started drinking with him and he tells all the Russian people he tells them I'm the machine right so I'm drinking vodka with my friends the new Russian friends and then from there I don't know I'm trying to think he told everybody to leave me alone so I'm the one running it with them right I'm hanging out with the two mobster guys who's running Russia now.

Speaker 1 And then on our way to Moscow, I'm sitting in the back. The two Russians come and get me.
They say, sit in the first class with Lost. I think the crowd works better.
No, no, this story gets better.

Speaker 1 I love this story. Okay,

Speaker 1 my bad, my bad. Let him tell this story.
This is the great story.

Speaker 1 I've heard this before. No, you haven't.
It's brand new. No, I thought you've told me this story before.
Oh, I've said this story probably a lot of times. Yeah, a bunch.

Speaker 1 I'm going to keep telling it. What happens on the train? Oh, on the train, the teacher comes to the front, and then my friend Igor, he spits fucking vodka in our eyes.
Whoa. Isn't that crazy?

Speaker 1 Why would he do that? It's unbelievable. And guess what? And then after we rob.
It is pretty unbelievable. It's not believable at all.
At all. But it's real.

Speaker 1 Okay, so then what happens?

Speaker 1 So then I'm thinking, we robbed the little train cart. You're wanting to rob the train.
Well, no, they told me, hey, take some vodka, take some money. And then I realized I'm the only one.

Speaker 1 I'm stealing from it. Wow.
Whoa.

Speaker 1 What ends up happening? That's what the problem is. Anyway, so then, so then the teacher, here's the best part.
So then the teacher.

Speaker 1 Please laugh. No, no, it's going to get better.
Okay, okay. So then the teacher says, I call the police on you guys.
And then we steal all the rest of the stuff at night.

Speaker 1 And then, and then, hey, hey, hey, hold on. Okay.
Hey, hey. See, this, I'm going to.
I'm at a comedy club. Don't tell me when to laugh.
I'm listening to the kids. Coffee on you.
All right.

Speaker 1 See, you get spit on me.

Speaker 1 Do that kind of stuff. Fuck, fuck, all right.
Sorry. Fucking sorry.
I thought it was a club i paid good money to be in here just spit on my face well then go outside sorry yeah okay so anyways

Speaker 1 okay so anyways the the train stops the police are outside so i get out of the truck i'm in the train the truck the truck truck yeah well no trick

Speaker 1 is the front of the train called a trug

Speaker 1 truck truck truck there's a truck on the train trug oh a truck yeah oh the middle car no

Speaker 1 Hey, hey guy, I don't know. What the fuck is this? Let him tell the joke.
Oh, yeah, I just, I just, I did it. Yeah, it's a truck.
Everyone knows it's a trog. Oh, a truck.
Anyway, we're done.

Speaker 1 After we walk out of the trog, I mean the train. Yeah, the trog, right? Okay.
So then the so then the police are there.

Speaker 1 And then the police, they're taking statements from the teacher and all the students.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 we party with the police because my Igor told them I'm the machine. Whoa.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 most comics won't clap after their own shit, but I fucking love that. That's a great story.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a great story.
Was that in Bert's movie?

Speaker 1 Who's that? What do you mean? What's with the machine mean?

Speaker 1 I don't get.

Speaker 1 Don't look at me like I'm. What's going on? You're the odd man out here.
I know. Well, explain.

Speaker 1 I'm the machine. What's that?

Speaker 1 Ah, you got it? Trogs. Okay.
Yeah, yeah. Trogs.

Speaker 1 I was waiting for you to get the trogs part. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was probably the sickest part. Yeah.
Do you believe in God?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I do. You do? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was gonna say because I know you have a history with that history with my relationship with God my personal relationship with God your history with that conversation we believe in God that's good to know yeah do you believe in God oh yeah what do you think he he thinks about you oh I think he loves me I'm I've been getting close with him recently are you a Jesus guy yeah me and Georgianko you love Jesus yeah

Speaker 1 What's your favorite thing that Jesus did?

Speaker 1 My favorite story is the book of Job. Oh, tell, explain.
I don't know. That's my favorite story.
So, honestly, I've heard about Job. I heard it's a great book.
It's a great book.

Speaker 1 You know, Genesis was great. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I tried to get it on audio, but

Speaker 1 I don't know anything about Job, so just in a nutshell. I think it proves God is real.
In a nutshell, explain to me the story of Job. Okay, so God and Satan, they're talking, and then Satan tells you.

Speaker 1 Like on a phone? No, in heaven. Yeah, on a phone.
Oh, so sometimes Satan goes up there. I think he used to be an angel or something.

Speaker 1 I'm getting more knowledgeable on it. Satan, Satan was an angel.
Oh, yeah, I know that, but I don't think during Job, they were still hanging up in there. Regardless, they were speaking somewhere.

Speaker 1 Well, I'm sure they were like in line somewhere together and they ran into each other. Yeah, they were talking.

Speaker 1 There's a Starbucks up. What are you talking about? There's a Pete's Coffee.
Oh, Pete's Coffee up. Yeah.
Okay. So at that Pete's Coffee.
Okay. Satan and God are in line.
Well, regardless, yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 So, so then Satan told him. Do you know they have a journeys up there?

Speaker 1 In heaven? Shoes? Yeah. Oh, that's cool.
Oh, I thought that was funny. That's pretty bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And those funny socks.
I love color of socks. Funniest socks.
Yeah, God.

Speaker 1 What can't Stance do? Exactly. This guy says, just make the best.
Stance? Are you kidding me?

Speaker 1 What can they not do? Probably make shoes. Yeah, they don't make shoes.
Yeah, that's probably a big miss. That's probably a big market they shouldn't make up a lot of money.

Speaker 1 But every mall I go to, I always stop by the hot topic and I always go by the journeys. So I go to the

Speaker 1 NEN's pretzels. Got to give me a hot pretzel.
What kind do you have? The one with the shit all over it.

Speaker 1 Cheese, you mean?

Speaker 1 well yeah

Speaker 1 it's not honestly you sound like you don't know what's there well it's not cheese is it they have a jalapeno one with like some cheese on oh that one

Speaker 1 i like that one and what kind of sauce do you get the bog sauce the bog sauce is so good dude do they even make the fucking bog sauce

Speaker 1 because sometimes it's a harry potter theme so they have a bog yeah they have a bog sauce

Speaker 1 and what else do you go in the mall yeah I'll go to fucking

Speaker 1 have you ever been shopping with Andrew in New York? He knows all the good spots. I dad, I do.
When we walked on, we were like, Let's come in here, and you're always right.

Speaker 1 You know where you catch me? You're always right about everything. You know where you catch me the most? In Lids.

Speaker 1 Fuck yeah, dude. I can't.
I can't stand love. I love it.

Speaker 1 Let me tell you something. I love Lids.
You know, tell me something about Lids.

Speaker 1 How much does a Lids hat cost? We'll get right back to you, Mateen. Yeah.
The Book of Job. Yeah, we're going to get to the Book of Job.
How much is that hat? How much is that Lids hat?

Speaker 1 I'll sell affordable. $30, $40.
It's so affordable. Okay.

Speaker 1 You're telling me they sell enough fucking hats to have a store in the mall? Lids is 100% upfront. Hats? Right.
How many fucking hats are people buying every day?

Speaker 1 Lids is selling that many fucking hats.

Speaker 1 This sounds like a, it looks like a pizza party place, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah.
Who owns Lids?

Speaker 1 It's Ruben. Michael Rubin, CEO of Fanatics.
Ruben created an apparel logistics company, Global Sports Incorporated. Let's look deeper into Ruben.
Let's look deeper into Ruben. Look at his hair.

Speaker 1 He doesn't have any. He doesn't have any.
And that says a lot. He's never wearing a hat either.
Okay, go to his Wikipedia. Businessman, they say.

Speaker 1 Scroll in. Get in tighter.

Speaker 1 Now scroll down.

Speaker 1 Career. Let's see.
Anything conspiratorial? Keep going. Keep going.

Speaker 1 Personal life philanthropy. This will be a front.
This is good. Make a wish.
The all-in challenge. Sounds like bullshit.
Raise more than 60 mil. Okay, let's go down.
Media appearance.

Speaker 1 Let's go back to job, maybe. Hold on.
Hold on, hold on. Yeah, there it is.
Personal.

Speaker 1 Go down to personal. Stop, stop, stop.

Speaker 1 Ruben is divorced from local dance teacher Megan Specter. Now, Megan,

Speaker 1 not Megan.

Speaker 1 He hosts a white party

Speaker 1 in the Hamptons, Independence Day. Jay-Z, Beyonce, Beaver, Brady, Kim Kardashian.
You've been to that party. No, dude, this is an infamous Illuminati party.

Speaker 1 It's called the White Party? The White Party. It's out in the Hamptons.
This is a famous thing. This is Illuminati Central.
Dude. And I'm not even joking.
Would you go if you were invited?

Speaker 1 To the white party? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, I think I would guess. Yeah.
I mean, could I be your number

Speaker 1 your guest? No, we'd have to do some serious makeup.

Speaker 1 Oh. Look at that.
Look at that. That's a white party.
Oh, they all wear white. She's Mexican.
Jennifer Lopez now. Whoa.
They invite black people, though. Oh, they do? Well, now, after 90 years.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 After

Speaker 1 COVID, they had to.

Speaker 1 No, dude. This is a real party this guy throws in the Hamptons, and it's Illuminati Central, they say.
And this is the guy that owns lids, yes?

Speaker 1 Yes? Wow. And there's Robert Kraft, yes?

Speaker 1 What who else do we need to know? White, white, jiz, jizz party, party time, time to buy a hat.

Speaker 1 Someone's going to fucking prison. Kevin Hart and James Corden.
Wow. Two guys that

Speaker 1 we know. Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 I know both those guys. They do not buy hats.
They never bought a hat. So what am I saying? Not one guy there has a a hat on.
This guy owns fucking lids. They're wearing masks and stuff.

Speaker 1 I don't get invited to themes like this. I know.
We're going to get you something, though. Yeah.
All right. Tell me about the book.
I wonder if you want an eyeswide shut party where there's masks.

Speaker 1 Thank you. That was awesome.
Where's Job? Oh, so yeah, to real recap of the book of Job, it's that God and Satan made a bet.

Speaker 1 And then he said that Satan said Job is only such a devout follower of God because he's wealthy. He has everything happy.
So God wants to show Satan that he's wrong.

Speaker 1 So, he burned down his farm, he killed all of his animals. Because God is all about love.
Oh, no, well, listen to the story. You're trying to make some judgment here.
I'm not making a judgment.

Speaker 1 I know God is about love, no? But this story will prove it's real. So, give me a minute.
Okay, go ahead. So, anyways, he burns down his farm, he kills the animals, he kills his family.

Speaker 1 All right, so I'm Job. Let's just

Speaker 1 put myself in Job's position, all right? My wife

Speaker 1 that I love, yeah, and my children, and my cow, and I have a llama too. You always have a lot of money.

Speaker 1 I love llamas, And I have two meerkats named Joe and Saul. Taul.
Yeah? Taul. So, my Meerkats, llama, dogs, everything dead.

Speaker 1 I wife my two kids. All the money's gone.
So I'm like, okay, God, God.

Speaker 1 God. What the fuck, God?

Speaker 1 No, he said thank you. Thank you

Speaker 1 for killing everything. Thank you, God.
All right. That's what he said.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 And that proves that the end of Job? That proves God is real.

Speaker 1 I get it. I get it.

Speaker 1 How can you deny it after hearing that? Yeah, but he fucked hard.

Speaker 1 You spit on me. Whoa.
You spit on me or spit on you. Oh, whoa.
Spit on you, okay? I do it better. Yeah.
Point on you.

Speaker 1 Point on you. Yeah,

Speaker 1 that was okay. Yeah, it was very good.
That was better. For Korean, our lips don't do that.
Yeah, I know. That's why I'm surprised.
Okay, right, John? Yeah, yeah. He knows.

Speaker 1 And he's also Asian.

Speaker 1 I can't. I've been thinking about that this whole time.

Speaker 1 I know. Yeah.
So let me. Let me show me your...
Turn the other way. Do you have both your ears pierced? Yeah.
Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 Unfortunately, they did that to me as well. That's an alpha thing, buddy.
No, I want to get it out.

Speaker 1 They did it to me when I was a baby. You have tattoos? No.
No. Okay.

Speaker 1 No tattoos? No. Not alpha.

Speaker 1 You think tattoos are alpha? Look at this guy.

Speaker 1 He has tattoos?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Then that's why I'm not going to eat any. Okay.
Because he has them? Because I don't want to have any similarities with somebody like that. I get that.
You love me, you said. No, I did not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you did Sunday. You said I was a big fan.
Yeah, and then Sunday you said that you

Speaker 1 hated lip.

Speaker 1 I just did that with my mind. Dude,

Speaker 1 you keep fucking with Bobby and that. You keep talking about that.
You want to fuck around? That's not good. Hey, dude.

Speaker 1 Hey, dude. He can make the whole world.
You want to fuck around or what? Not anymore. That was.
I just.

Speaker 1 Hey, look at me right now, dude.

Speaker 1 Tonight, you'll see. Oh,

Speaker 1 what the fuck that was another spit that wasn't sweet

Speaker 1 what do you think of that that's like black magic but for asians

Speaker 1 so what do you call it um yellow magic yeah that's right yellow magic yeah yellow whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa no stop that i took offense why

Speaker 1 i take i yellow magic is fine he said yellow magic no the second time he did no look at me i can still see you you're still there all right

Speaker 1 he just my time no no i i i take offense i'm sorry john it sounded like he said John Magic. Back me up, dude.
Ursamar. Yeah, no, you said you did it with an accent.
Now, what the fuck, dude?

Speaker 1 No, I'm trying to make it. You go, yay, yo, yay, yo.
No, no, he said yellow magic. Say it again.
Say it again. I'm trying to make it so you understand what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 I say you're a magic. I'm trying to, I admit what I did.
I want you to understand me. I feel like when you go to Italy and you go, excuse me,

Speaker 1 you're saying, excuse me, but

Speaker 1 I see what he's doing. He's being polite.
Being sweet. Okay, you're being sweet.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You don't have a lot of Asian friends, it seems like.

Speaker 1 Fortunately, you don't? Yeah, no, fortunately. You're fortunately.
I don't say fortune around Asian. It's a delicate thing.
The trigger word. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, we love our cookies.

Speaker 1 No, but you guys, that was Panda Express. You can't take credit for that.
Yeah, they did. You guys take the fucking credit for the orange chicken.
Hey, fuck you, man. What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 You think you own the orange chicken? It's not really. That one's my parents.
I never said we claim orange chicken. Did I say that out loud? I can feel it in your face.

Speaker 1 No, I did never talked about orange chicken. I don't like orange chicken.
What color chicken did you guys start?

Speaker 1 Chef Andy Coe. Yeah, he started it.
Yep, see, like Panda Express. The Hunan province.
But let me say something to you. Have you had Korean chicken? No.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I don't plan to.
Yeah, yeah, you will. No, I won't.
Guess why? I'll tell you why. Why? Because after this, we have each other's numbers.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I feel like

Speaker 1 there's going to be. Is that like a threat? No, I feel like there's going to be some dinners you and I are going to have.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. You know that.
And I'm going to be your your mentor.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know that. We talked about it.
I'm going to help you. Oh, he's overwhelmed.
No, I'm good.

Speaker 1 No, no, you're not. No, you're not.
Matan, I really like you. I think you're a good kid.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. And I think that there's something about you that's very interesting.
And I just want to be around where that, wherever it grows, I want to be there. Wherever it grows, it goes.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Raybill. Thank you, Matan.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Matan.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Matan. Thank you, Matan.
Y'all.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Matan. Thank you, Matan.
Thank you. Thank you, Matan.
Thank you, Matan.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Matan. Thank you, Matan.
Thank you. Thank you, Matan.

Speaker 1 Oh, there he is.

Speaker 1 I don't know what else.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's it? Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Matan. Thank you, Matan.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're back.

Speaker 1 You're back. Nope.
What?

Speaker 1 Oh, Matan. Oh, Matan.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Matan. Thank you, Matan.
Thank you, Matan. Thank you, Matan.

Speaker 1 Thanks, buddy. Thank you.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 No, I don't know how to get it out. Yeah, yeah.
If you take that, I'll break your legs, you know?

Speaker 1 South Koreans are dealing with burnout and loneliness by getting pet rocks.

Speaker 1 I told you they would find a solution. But you realize now,

Speaker 1 because rocks, they have flat faces.

Speaker 1 Right? So it's like, of course. And let me tell you, you can't skip a Korean guy, but you can skip a rock.

Speaker 1 That's so true. Kua Young, 33, told Seon she didn't have anyone to talk to about the burnout she experienced over to starting a new office job in Seoul.
Didn't want to worry her friends and family.

Speaker 1 Felt that getting a pet animal like a cat or a dog would have been too much responsibility. So got a pet rock, named it Bangbangy.

Speaker 1 Bangbangye.

Speaker 1 Inspired by the Korean word for jumping and happiness, according to the journal. She says, talks to the rock about her day, carries out it in her pocket when she goes out for the walks to the gym.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, it feels good. I love it.
It's a good solution. Yeah.
And it's cheap. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'm going to wait until they get those robots going. Yeah.
Oh, what?

Speaker 1 There's a new AI robot that looks pretty real, the girl. I forgot her name.
But no, not insexual.

Speaker 1 I don't like your look, dude. They're always in a sexual.
Well, they have some sexual undertone. Yeah, there's.
No, I'll get a black eye then, Rob Robot.

Speaker 1 That would still be sexual for some reason that's way more sexual.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but without, I wouldn't.

Speaker 1 A big, beautiful black man. And I won't pay for the genital part.
That comes with it. I know.
Can you detach it? No. I want to put a little Asian one in there.

Speaker 1 It's too threatening, but I do want to get an AI.

Speaker 1 Well, come home, Baxter. We can't get you AI, but we have another gift for you.
Come here, McCone, give him a gift. What is it? We got a gift for you, my friend.
I got you this gift. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 God,

Speaker 1 I got you this gift. It's open.
I don't know what it is, but it's kind of open. Is that going to make me mad or no? No, that's just extra wrapping.
No, it's open because you used it. Oh my God.

Speaker 1 No, I accidentally bought two copies, so I watched it. Did you see it? Yeah, dude.
That shit's fucked. Very good.
Is it good or no? Very good. Yeah, but fucked.
I watched half of it at, like,

Speaker 1 I watched it in two parts. Yeah, yeah.
And, like, it is a... Happiness, really dark movie.
Bobby wanted it for so long you can't find it anywhere. It's banned.
Yeah, I'm not banned.

Speaker 1 It just never got proper distribution because it was rated NC17. It's just really hard to market.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And if you watch it, you understand why. Who's in it? Anybody famous? Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Molly Shannon, John Lovitz.
Oh, yeah. We talked about it on the show.

Speaker 1 Well, congratulations, thank you so much, Joe. How does that feel? Good? Dude, this is like one of the best.
I mean, I don't have a DVD player. Oh, look at this.

Speaker 1 No, do you have a video game? You have an Xbox. PS5.
I can watch it on my. Yeah, it's a Blu-ray.
On my Xbox, I can. Yes.
Oh, I want to watch it. And PS5.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Hey, now you don't have to get a pet rock. Look at that.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'm still going to get it. You still should get it.
I'm still going to get a pet rock. i know i know what this is what this is insane this is insane i don't want to see it

Speaker 1 oh yeah bobby

Speaker 1 you guys were eating what was it in tucson if this doesn't encompass tucson yeah

Speaker 1 as a whole a cockroach was crawling on bobby outside while you guys were eating food

Speaker 1 dude that night was a nightmare

Speaker 1 that i'll tell you why tucson closes at 5 p.m yeah there was nowhere to eat, so we had to go to a hot dog vendor. So gross.
Right.

Speaker 1 And then these two ladies right there, aside from the cockroaches, they got three photos.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? Wait, keep playing it.

Speaker 1 Who was it?

Speaker 1 You get it off sooner than that.

Speaker 1 You just had a cockroach on you and she can't wait to get a photo.

Speaker 1 Sweet.

Speaker 1 Cute?

Speaker 1 Bobby, that's a meat cute.

Speaker 1 That's a meat cute. Yeah, remember when you had that cockroach on you outside in Tucson?

Speaker 1 I just fell for you.

Speaker 1 Would you date her? Is she your type? She looks fucking cool. Yeah, cool.
Yeah. The tats are fucking cool.
I was like, that jacket I can never wear wear again.

Speaker 1 Do you know why? Well, four times people go,

Speaker 1 you're going to work? Yeah. It looks like I'm a chef somewhere.

Speaker 1 I said that to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's also physically. Physically.
Physically what?

Speaker 1 It's not flattering physically.

Speaker 1 I mean, it makes you look bulbous as shit.

Speaker 1 Turn the volume off, but go back to the front. I told you that when you wore it, I said you're prettier than that coat.
I didn't see that earlier. I did.
So like that shot right there.

Speaker 1 Like, look at that. Well, it's the hot dog stuff on me.
I, but, but, but this kind of thing relish on me. I know such, like, a chef, it feels like it retains shit.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Like, that's a part of it. Oh, I'm never going to wear it again.
All right. I'm never going to wear it again.
Was that an expensive piece of clothing? It was.

Speaker 1 I can imagine it was. Yeah, yeah.
Because it's got to be handmade in Japan. Yeah, yeah.
I got it in San Fran once. All right.
I'll never wear it again. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't like it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No one ever says that's a gray jacket or whatever. No, no one did say that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that it?

Speaker 1 You know what? What? There's this. Oh my God.
We didn't even talk about that. Yeah, so let me me tell you, where is that at?

Speaker 1 It's off the 101. And Sunset.
No.

Speaker 1 Did we find out the artist that did this? Yes. This is fucking amazing.
It's amazing. It's fucking amazing.
This dude is the shit. I love you.
I retweeted and I said, we love L.A., man.

Speaker 1 This was like such a...

Speaker 1 And honestly, dude,

Speaker 1 this is...

Speaker 1 I'm not saying keep doing this all over LA, but I am. Like, please do.
Yeah, please do. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's so dope. Same sucky bat.
Oh, I love sucky. I love sucky.
I love sucky.

Speaker 1 i mean covet joke is just laid all over that with sucky bat but yeah wait so so put the fucking we'll put his name up there sucky bat shout out to that cat i know this is uh

Speaker 1 we shouldn't probably be that's so cool promoting graffiti but i love it yeah i mean fucking street art is great sucky bat i thought that was in the middle east

Speaker 1 promoting our dubai social

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, we could, we would help. If anybody wants to fly to Dubai and tag the walls down there,

Speaker 1 if you do graffiti down there in UAE, oh, you're done.

Speaker 1 You get time in, I mean, like time in prison, real time. Wow, wow, wow.
Real time. Yeah.
We're excited to go to Dubai. I can't wait.

Speaker 1 According to law, UAE, any damages of disfigured public property is considered a crime, includes graffiti. Yeah, how much time? I just want to test it, though, no?

Speaker 1 I'm telling you, you're there alone. I'm not bailing you out.
You bail me out.

Speaker 1 How about if I spit gum? No, that's in Singapore, right? Yeah, but can I do it there? I don't even think they're not allowed to have gum in Dubai. No gum.
Wow. It's a no-gum country.

Speaker 1 How about a mentos?

Speaker 1 No, I I think they had a cop's feet. Let's see what they do.
Whoa. I think they just have tic-tacs.
Oh, they do? Yeah. Oh, go.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because we're playing there and there's all these rules. So, you know, I'm going to.
No, there's not a lot. No nudity.
No talking bad about UAE.

Speaker 1 That's it?

Speaker 1 That's all you have to do. Can't show any part of your naked body.
I'm not going to.

Speaker 1 If you do. I'm not going to.
Please. I won't.
Please. I'm not going to.
It sounds like you're going to. I am.
I know. No, I'm not.
I'm not going to do it. Know that.

Speaker 1 and then we can't be defamatory about UAE. You can't be like, I don't even know what it is.
I know, you don't even know what that stands for.

Speaker 1 I can't do that.

Speaker 1 You can do that.

Speaker 1 All right. Save that for the casinos.
Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 Thank you for being a bad friend.