Bad Boys & Fairy Fantasies

We off?

30 seconds of carefree bliss.

Oof, like winding your hair carefree.

Oh, like using Clorox disinfecting all-purpose cleaner in the home carefree.

Yes!

Like dog slobbing on the coffee table and cleaning it with Clorox carefree.

He's on a roll now.

Spit toothpaste on the faucet.

You got it. You got it.

He nut butter on the light switch.

Oh, spritz spritz.

Nisprit spritz.

Clorox, man. Clean feels good.
Okay, spritz, spritz. Nesprit, spritz.
Clorox, man.

Clean feels good.

Okay, we're back.

Use as directed.

You two are bad friends.

Who are these two idiots?

A white dude and an Asian dude.

You two are disgusting.

You two are something.

We're bad friends.

You look so handsome today, Bobby.

Oh, yes, I'm so handsome today, Bobby. I'm not buying it.
Yeah, you look cute. Yeah, I'm not buying any of that.
What are you talking about? You look so good. No, I do.
Coming from you, dude, that's legit. No legit to quit.
Too legit to quit. You're a cutie pie.
Stop saying it. It's weird now.
Eat some Skittles. Let me see you eat some Skittles.
You eat some of those Japanese Skittles. Oh, Japanese Skittles.
Really turn me on. Oh, really? What's that? Oh, we got a bag of cookies.
From what? From Whole Foods cookie bar. Do you know about this? No.
Open that up. Look at how many cookies are inside of that thing.
Whole Foods, though? Whole Foods cookie bar? Have you never had Whole Foods? I only go to Era One cookie bar oh gross we're not we're not but open that up

look at them in different kinds out of zero should i give away my should i give away my secret macon

of what we do okay so when i go to like the cookie bar like this and i get like a two pounds of

cookies that's what would it say two 2.6 pounds yeah you have to pay for these cookies yeah but

check it out you go to the self-checkout and then you just put it on the thing like you're gonna

weigh it but you hold it right above it yeah so it only registers you know like what did that say

like point I said I got point four

I'm

laughing

Thank you. you go to the self-checkout and then you just put it on the thing like you're going to weigh it, but you hold it right above it.
Yeah. So it only registers, you know, like what did that say? Like point.
I said I got point four. That's good.
Cookie Mario tricks? Well, I'm a cookie monster. Whoa, that's good.
Wait a minute. First of all, Whole Foods is Amazon.
You only brought it for Bobby? Huh? I don't want any of these right now. Well, you guys can have it.
No, no, no. We brought it for the candy But I gotta tell you This is way too many cookies It's so many How much was that? How much was it supposed to be? Yeah how much was it supposed to be? I think we paid $4.68 And it was supposed to be $26 Wow You're tricky I'm a tricky cookie boy You know me I'm a tricky cookie boy Who tricky.
I'm a tricky cookie boy. Yeah.
You know me. I'm a tricky cookie boy.
Who, me? I'm a tricky cookie boy. Let me see.
Let me see. Those are- Let me see.
Hold on. All right.
Asso. Asso, asso, asso, asso.
Asso with these Skittles. They taste like regular Skittles.
They do. Yeah.
They're just Japanese. Why did you give me this? Matcha.
That's's from Carlos I think Carlos wanted to bring you what's going on today? no just in case your day wasn't so good it wasn't good you had a long day terrible but it's okay now aren't you? no no it's not it's bad? pretty bad dude why is it so bad today? oh sit down I have something to talk to you about. Sit down, asshole.
Asshole. Blue chair.
Blue chair, man. Blue chew.
Hi, Carla. Hi.
Hi, Steve. Hello.
Hi. Hi, Andres.
Hi, McCone. Put your purse in the other chair.
Let me ask you a question. What? You're about to get it.
What's wrong with you? Because you're going to scold me. Dude, why do you have temple zits? Why do you have them? You're supposed to get them on your face, not the temple What do you mean temple? Yeah, this is your temple right here She's trying to, when she does this She does white eyes And so when she does white eyes I used to get those Don't do white eyes White people don't like them I No, don't do white eyes.
I know you do. Hello, I have a credit card.

Or whatever.

I don't know what they say.

What, is that what white people say? Yeah, hello.

I'd like to pay in cash.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What are some things that only whites can say?

What are some things that you hear only whites say

that you would never hear a Korean say?

Or hear her go.

Yeah.

Gosh golly.

That's good.

Gosh golly. Oh, gosh golly.
Gosh golly gosh golly is good my gosh golly chimney crickets heavens to betsy when you go when you see there's somebody they got a white guy and you go um you have to be at my house at seven and they go okie dokie no tell me you'll be at my house you have to be at your house at seven you gotta be at my house at seven at 7 o'clock. I'll be there early.
Yeah, yeah. We're always early.
Yeah, white people love it. What do you gotta yell at her about? Oh, so, hey.
You're a comforter. Oh, did you piss on the comforter again? Oh, yeah, this is a fun game.
Yeah. Let's guess what it is.
Why is Bobby mad today? Guess what it is. The cats.
The cats are beautiful. cleaned everything I'm not I don't know Well there's one thing That you do That really disturbed me The other day I called you about it Oh The bottles The cans Not just the cans What? What are you doing? Go ahead God damn man my god i was about to christian bail it again dude what happened with the cans and the bottles and the cats and the cats and the bottles and the cans and the bottles and the bottles of the bobby lee house it's the cats and the bottles and something is broken whose fault is it yours it's your fault so i buy these chili i buy chili from era one you know sometimes't finish them.
You never finish. You don't even eat it.
It's just a design. It's just a design? Yeah, in your fridge.
I do design. You collect 25 of them.
I do designs in my fridge. Yeah, but I'm artsy.
You mean chili peppers? No, I form them so it makes a configuration, you know what I mean? So it's artsy. What do you mean chili from Erwan?

Turkey chili?

Yeah, that.

Those bottles.

Oh, God, Bob.

Just because you want people to come over and open your fridge and see Erwan?

It's $50.

Yeah.

That is $50 for a jar of chili?

It's the best chili you'll ever have.

I fucking hope so.

Yeah.

How does it compare to the water?

Shut up, dude.

And don't give me a chili test either, dude. I'll know.
Why did you lie? That says $18. Yeah, he's a liar, dude.
You're a little bad boy liar. All right, so stay on the photo.
Stay on the photo. So what I like to do is because what am I good at then? What are you good at? Yeah, yeah.
When it comes to the environment. You're good at giving back.
No, no, come on. What do I do? Because that goes right into the toilet or the trash can.
You're giving back. No, that's what I mean.
What do you do? What do I do? I'm a conversation. You're a conservationist? Yes, that's right.
You're a constipationist. Yeah, I'm a constipationist.
Your IBS has got you. I'm very mindful about the environment.

Are you seriously?

No, you don't.

You do not.

You don't even use your recycle.

Do I have two trash cans in my fucking thing?

Yeah, and you use the recycle as trash.

Stop, because I don't know the difference.

That's the only problem.

Well, let's learn, because I actually don't fucking know.

Can I be honest?

We throw so much stuff. Thank you so much, but can I get to this first, and then we'll get to that please i'm sorry no no it's your show it's both of our shows actually but your show now okay so um that's not what i'm at um i think it's done beneficial things to your life this podcast big time your confidence is big time uh you just your social status your instagram account your communication skills your mind's not even that good right you're still in this country you're.
Big time. Your social status, your Instagram account.
Your communication skills. Your mind's not even that good right now.
You're still in this country. You're still in this country.
Because of us. Yeah, yeah.
Do you want to stay in the country? Yeah. Okay, good.
I get a call today. Disturbing.
Yeah, bad. Frightening.
No, let me, I'm not done. Okay.
It felt like... Do you remember when in The Exorcist, right? The mother.
Remember the mother? Please, yeah. What do you mean? Go, go, go.
What do you mean? Well, yes, I remember the mother. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right.
Yeah. And she...
The father... What's the father's name? Bork.
Father Bore? Father Borkar father bork yeah what is his name and this is a terrible analogy let's let's damien yeah father damien the analogy doesn't make any sense but you got to get there if you're going to go there should i go finish try to finish anyway i'll try to finish it already started right so when she comes up to him and says, you know, I think my daughter, you know what I mean, needs an exorcism. And his face was like, either like, I've never done that before.
Also, this is going to be super scary. Yeah.
But there's all these emotions. This is terrible analogy.
I can tell. I'm going to find it with you.
I'm going to find it with you. Just keep going.
I'm done though. Oh, that's it.
Did you find it yet? Oh, no. Did you find it yet? Okay, how about this? Yeah, yeah.
Find it now. Your father dermis.
Yeah, yeah. And every single day, you deal with a little devil woman.
That's what I meant to say. And you want her to exude her evil.
That's what I wanted to say. And start doing good.
Right. I'm so good.
What I'm saying to you is that you're embarrassed about being on the show. No.
A little bit. Are you really? No.
Do you have two Instagrams? I have three. Jesus.
You're embarrassed about being on the show. No, I'm not.
I'm just shy. No, you're not.
I'm just shy. No, you're not.
You're a little shy guy? You're not a shy guy. Yeah.
No, you Yeah No you're not I don't know It's just overwhelming There's just so many people Oh you're being overwhelmed Yeah I do things for your family That you have no idea You have no idea dude Okay The sacrifices I make What do you do Whoa Whoa Wow Do you Okay honestly You're on one today Oh you're on did I do Okay so what do I do Interesting What do I do Let me see That makes me sick Yeah let me see You do the dogs You do a lot Young lady Young lady Young lady Young lady Okay bye Clean your house Barely Now let's learn What recycling is I really wanna Fucking know I'm serious want to know too that kind of bugged me out i have no idea what goes in the recycling before we even look it up let's see guess because i want to ask you something i'm being real okay all right so there's the blue one yeah the blue bin and that's the recycled correct then there's the black guys am i got it? Black bin. What is that for? Garbage.
Green one. Tree, like, tree kind of, right? Like leaves and stuff, okay? Don't try to trick me with fucking garbage.
I was born there. Why does the garbage can have to be the black one? I know.
In this day and age. In this day and age.
They couldn't paint it any other color? Yeah. Yellow would be more appropriate.
No, not yellow. That's trash.
Yellow seems like yuck, trash, gross, bad. Red too, though.
Yeah. Red seems like fire.
Well, first of all, there are red bins in the forest for hot coals and stuff like that. Yeah, that's not good.
Look at that. There you go.
So let me. Oh, yeah.
What is a red bin in a hospital? Is that for hazardous materials? Oh, yeah. I'm hazardous.
Like blood clots and stuff. Well, blood.
Yeah. Yeah.
It you go. All right, so let me, all right.
Oh, yeah, what is a red bin in a hospital? Is that for- Hazardous. Hazardous materials.

Thanks.

Oh, yeah.

I'm hazardous.

Like blood clots and stuff.

Well, blood.

Yeah.

Just blood in general.

Let me talk to you.

Okay.

All right, so in the blue one, I put plastics, glass.

How much glass are you throwing away?

A lot.

Why do you have a lot of glass?

Oh, from your chili jars?

Keep those jars.

Well, no, that's the one thing. She threw away the lids.
That's what I was mad about. Because I use them for my cachava.
We'll talk about it later. We remember.
Okay. So.
You throw away plastic and glass. Glass.
And that's it, right? Paper products. Like, so paper, like paper towels you throw in the recycled yeah no yes no yes you do paper towels yes any paper product can go in there paper cups unless it's soiled meaning like if it has poop on it or food on it oh so but if it's just paper towel that dried your hands with or something yeah really 100 okay go 100%.
Okay. Go in there.
Look, right here.

Recycle in the blue bin.

Go up.

Zoom in.

Recycle these items in the blue bin.

Computer paper, ledger paper, arts and crafts paper,

unwanted mail, flyers, telephone books, note cards,

newspaper, magazines, file folders, paper bags,

post-it notes, catalogs, envelopes,

including window envelopes.

Cardboard of all kinds.

Cartons of all kinds.

Fruit juice, wine, cereal, heavy cream. Metals.
Metals. Oh, yeah metals metals so yeah i do soda cans soda juice veggie cans right right glass there you go bobby yeah look at it even says soda wine and it says chili jars weird jars yeah and plastics of all kind yeah yeah and everything else goes in one one beam per category slow down dude did you dude did you move back to Spain in your mind did you have a stroke what happened what's going on dude blue bin blue bin and then the green bin is all the yard waste that's what they call it you know the reason why I'm not going to do your? I'll tell you what the reason is.
I got a whole fucking ton of reasons.

Me too, but the number one thing is

how long do notes

take? Forever. You take a

take, right? He comes from behind Video Village.

Bobby, I

I mean, it's like

Imagine how bad it's gonna be when you go over to Spain. He's gonna have

a thicker accent. Oh my god.

He's gonna be with his boys back home. Oh dude, if you change.
He will. Do you change when you're there? Hombre.
Mi hombres. Hey, it's fancy.
Do they call you fancy back home? No, no. No, they should.
What's fancy in Spanish? Pijo. Pijo.
You are a fucking pijo. Is that in Brazil? Where is that? Harmonized color.
Is this what it's like in Spain? Yeah. That I like.
So what does that say? Viro? Let me guess. Viro is the plants and stuff.
Glass. Glass? Glass, okay.
And let me guess metal is paper? Paper? Okay. Yeah.
Plastico. Plastico.
Papel. Papel.
And what's the white? No whites. No, exactly.
Like food. No, yeah.
Food and stuff. What is that word? No recyclable.
Interesting. Very good.
Well, now we learn because I throw shit all over the place. But you know what's so funny? I learned on that Penn & Teller show bullshit, it all gets put to the same place.
It doesn't matter. Interesting.
And I want to say something. What? If you're listening to this podcast and you'd pick up the trash in my neighborhood.
I love these announcements. Neighborhood watch here.
This guy that picks up our fucking can. Here we go.
The arm, you know, the arm of the thing. Woo-do- the recycling guy drops it down the fucking trash guy and throws it and it hits my fucking aggressively oh my god it's it hucks it hucks yeah stop it whoever the, cut it out.
Because it broke the top bin. I had to get a fucking new one.
You can't blame. Oh, he's at the controls.
No, it's not controls. It's the mechanic back at the fucking trash place.
What? Whatever the... Programmer.
It's not a programmer. It's not a robot.
No. He uses fucking joysticks.
I'm just saying the mechanics of the fucking it's off it's the same truck you gotta oil it up or something dude it's not a fucking android that's not what I was fucking referring to programmer what the fuck are you talking about dude this is not fucking WALL-E we've programmed the truck yeah yeah no it's the same kind of truck it's just his arms So what you're saying is Is that he has two modes Softly release Or chuck Okay look Yeah yeah yeah What the fuck you're talking about I stare out the window with my coffee I watch him do it The one guy knows how to do the levers So it Woo do It drops it I know This guy before it gets to the ground He lets it go Wait let me Can I ask you this Look at the fucking lever Okay is it the same lever is it the same lever that does your regular trash it's the same same thing so basically but the recycling truck does it nicely oh it's not the same truck then buddy have you ever seen a truck no have you never seen your trash get picked up no never not different trucks oh I thought they. Oh, they're my bad.
What the fuck? I thought he was saying that there was two guys. Oh, no.
Two guys in one truck, right? And it's your turn, buddy. And he goes, watch this Chuck and shit.
Have you never seen it? Chuck! You hear me? That's what I thought. It's like, let the other guy do it.
What? You've never watched the truck. I've never even heard it.
He doesn't even return his bins back to somebody does it for me my gardener does it Raul see you wait yeah so that's what I thought he throws it we have to make a call I don't know why he does it and he doesn't just do it to me because I thought, does this guy fucking not like me? Yeah. Every house.
He hucks it. It might be kind of fun for him to do.
I mean, it's just like a, remember at the park when you're a kid in the fucking sand digger thing? Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You don't know what that is? No. At a playground.
Well, what do they have there in the Philippines? Do you not have a playground in the Philippines? Only like rich areas.

But it's just rich playgrounds are

like in all neighborhoods. There's just a place to

No, that's not common.

That's a Filipino playground. Look how beautiful it is.

That looks great.

Is that a rich playground?

Not really. They're not wearing shoes.

We didn't have any of that.

You didn't have a playground? Look at that. That's just old tires.
The playground that we go to is near the cemetery. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Is it a part of the cemetery? Yeah.
Our babe. Yeah.
If you find a bone, you can play with it. Let's play hide and go bone.
Hey, that's my uncle. Put down on my uncle.
You can't find me. You can't find me.
Yeah, all right. They play tag with someone's arm.
Last week was our first playoff game, and my plaque psoriasis was so itchy under all my gear. Sometimes just thinking about scratching could take me out of the moment.
And then my doctor told me I could get clearer skin with a pill called Otesla. Otesla apremolast is a prescription medicine used to treat adult patients with plaque psoriasis for whom phototherapy or systemic therapy is appropriate.
Otesla can help you get clearer skin after just four months. Okay, ready for the next game.
Talking to my doctor about a pill was a total game changer. Don't use Otesla if you're allergic to it.
We'll be right back. happen.
Tell your doctor if any of these occur and if you have a history of depression or suicidal thoughts. Live in a moment.
Ask your doctor about Otesla. Call 1-844-4-OTESLA or visit otesla.com for prescribing info, info about cost and more.
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your Price Tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills.
Try it at Progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates.
Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.
So that's interesting. You're probably not at night, though.
It's probably scary. No, not at night.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's why I remember.
What is the Filipino association with the afterlife? And I mean this because you know how, like, diez de los muertos? So, in Latin culture, it's a celebration of life. Here, it's like, ooh, scary bullshit.
Is it the same there? It's worse. We kind of have this in the rest Dia de los Muertos.
It's called Calag Calag. Calag Calag.
Spirit, spirit. And it's kind of the same.
Stop, stop, stop. Can I just...
Why can't it just be Calag? Why do you say it twice? I don't know. Calag Calag.
Listen. Spirit, spirit.
That's why. That's how they would say it.
Oh. Spirit, spirit.
Yeah Yeah That's like a frog saying spirit Spirit spirit Calak calak is spirit spirit That's kind of what That's the same as Diaz de los Huertos Yeah And we go to the cemetery And we bring food for the dead But if I said calak Right You wouldn't know what I was saying I'd say it twice No it's not the same Wait a minute You bring food for the dead Don't Didn't you guys not have a lot of food as kids so you'd sacrifice food for the dead yeah but we also eat it like we wait and pray and then we eat it oh it's a guarantee that's guaranteed okay he's not gonna eat it yeah yeah you put it on the gravestone and then wait five minutes and then eat it basically you're having just dinner at the graveyard yeah yeah dinner at the graveyard yeah and there's five minutes and then eat it. Basically, you're having just dinner at the graveyard.
Yeah. Yeah.
Dinner at the graveyard. Yeah, and there's always drinking and then, yeah.
Do you guys throw parties like that in Spain? No, you don't do that. You do the masks and stuff.
That's Mexican culture. Oh, my bad.
What do the Spanish do? They don't do anything. You guys are not fun, dude.
It's not fun. It's not.
What is with Spain being so... People go to the cemetery, they clean their graves.
That might be the saddest thing. There was a video on fucking TikTok the other day of a guy cleaning graves.
Yeah. He was cleaning people's graves.
No, during the middle of the day, like cleaning, like to be nice. And then a little kid walks up.
I mean, dude, I almost started crying. It's in the video.
They're videotaping him cleaning. And a little kid walks up and goes, hi, mom, to one of the graves.
And I was like, oh, my God. It shattered my fucking soul.
And the guy cleans graves like this. There's a guy that goes around.
I don't know where it was, but he's all over TikTok. He just cleans graves because they're dirty.
He wants them to look nice. I saw a TikTok of a father giving his son a teddy bear like for his birthday or whatever.

And his mom had just died like six months before.

And so this kid's like

teddy bear, right?

Oh, I know.

What is it? It's got her voice in it.

And you press it and he goes,

I miss you, Timmy.

Why is that funny?

Why is that funny?

Because it's so cruel to me.

You know what I mean? No, it's beautiful.

It's not. It's like

Thank you. Why is that funny? Why is that funny? Because it's so cruel to me.
You know what I mean? No, it's beautiful. It's not.
It's not. It's like.
Let me see it. Oh, this is.
Yeah, this is one. Yeah, one.
Go here. There you go.
Now go ahead. You got to touch the hands one at a time.
Oh, man. That's going to make me.
Why is that funny you're insane it's so cruel it's so cruel can you imagine I'm gonna get Bobby you cried oh Rudy you cried oh my god it's so sad It's so sad It is so sad Maybe my response Cut out my response No Fuck you Maybe it's too much Let's see this Let's see a little bit of comedy Just to bring us back Yeah yeah yeah It's sad right? Huh? Yeah This is a commercial for a cement company What? We're still doing this Hold on Andrew said he wants to see some comedy I just want to see a little bit of comedy. Oh, let's do a comedy.
All right, right. Oh, cute.
Nagar Juna. That's insane.
They're saying if they built the Twin Towers, they would have never fallen. Yeah, yeah.
Anyway. I'm sorry for laughing at that video.
No you're not. I really am

because the first time I saw it I

cried. If I get you a golf club and it makes

a noise when you swing and it goes are you

gay?

It's just your dad

and I grab him

I miss you

That's really fun. If you had your dad in

something you would cry

Thank you. and I grab him yeah I miss you that's really fun if you had your dad in something you would cry you would cry you'd cry it depends on what he says yeah you know what I mean if he says something that like I didn't expect yeah right that was really like sentimental then yeah yeah yeah well if we're on the subject of death I want want to say something serious for two seconds.
Stay crying. We had a beautiful show in Long Beach, California.
One of our fans passed away that was on the show with us. Do you remember this guy? We brought him on stage.
He passed away, sadly, but we got some love from his family saying thank you. We don't know.
We didn't inquire, but we want to give a shout out to Devin's family. We love you guys.
That's fucking terrible but how beautiful uh his family showed me this photo is he in there yeah we're going to show you the video oh okay but he his family said that thank you guys for what did the family say just say it was his i believe it was his girlfriend and she was just like she was talking uh she's single she was just like that girl in the beanie's hot did you just hear what carlos that girl in the the beanie no real quick did you hear what Carlos just said just stop stop who's single that's so good you're a piece of shit it's so good you're a fucking piece of shit you're a piece of shit wait a week okay oh it's already been a week okay yeah you're clear well she's single then she said what she was basically just like thanks don't say basically just say literally thanks for showing him love. He was a big fan.
Thanks to bad friends. Let me see.
Let's see. This is our boy, Devin.
Huh? You don't know? Pick two people. Come on, buddy.
We gotta go. I just come up on stage.
You. Come up on stage.
Fuck it. Okay.
Yeah. He's picking murderers to be on stage.
I know. I know.
We were making fun of him. That's him What's your name dude Devin Oh god damn man Yeah Monday's I'm Devin No laughing Devin where are you from I am from La Mirada California Hell yeah What do you do What do you do Dev Uh I live My answer would be Barely But I do Oh Let's do oh let's pause it you know honestly dude let me just say in the moment no honestly dude

in the moment

you're a piece of fucking shit dude what a piece of fucking garbage you murdered that guy you have a

death touch yeah in the moment it was very funny it It got a good laugh. Can we talk about it? It's you, dude.
Sit down. That got a good laugh.
Pretty good laugh. He actually was cracking up.
I will say this before we continue. Everything that we do to our fans is because we love them, and we were having fun with them, and he was having a fucking great time.
I don't want to see the rest oh you do you do let's go did you get in here did you buy tickets my girlfriend brought man did you sneak in here i probably lives here under the board he's like i'm here to clean up but they told me to come early all right dev dog we love you man and uh we hope you win because uh got some gift cards for you. I need them.
All right. Bobby.
I fucked up. I fucked up.
Yeah, you fucked up. We love you.
I'm kidding. I'm fucking with you guys.
Okay, here we go. What grizzly animal lives in Chicago? What grizzly creature? Yes, Devin.
Your mother. Fuck you, Devin, you son of a bitch.
Fuck yeah. Yeah, dude.
You son of a bitch. Devin, you son of a bitch.
In your face, Andrew. In your face.
You know what, Devin? You know what? I'd come over there, but I don't want to catch anything, pal. Andrew, Andrew.
What? I got a fart. Oh, good.
Thank God. All right.
All right. Bobby puts that in his face.
Oh, do you? Let's see it. Let's see it.
Fart mic, right? Maybe that did it. Oh, no.
Look at his face. Maybe that did it.
I will say this guy was a great sport. He had a lot of fun.
He was rad, and he took a bunch of jokes. We were making fun of him, and he was having fun.
I was there, I remember. Like all good Bad Friends fans can take a good fucking joke, and he was awesome.
So rest in peace to Devin. Sorry, Devin.
Sorry, Devin. I'm sorry.
Let's say it again. No, no, no.
Leave that in because what the fuck? No, no. Sorry.
Rest in peace, Devin. What do you have to say with a voice? I don't.
Just say rest in peace, Devin. Why are you smiling? I'm not.
Why are we smiling? Fuck you, dude. You're smiling.
Fuck you, dude. By the way, he would love this.
Yeah, he would love this. All right, just relax, okay? Rest in peace Devin And to your family Why'd you laugh? Why are you laughing? Because you're double piecing a guy who passed away Like what the fuck are you doing? Here's the thing Every funeral I go to I laugh You have to Yeah because I just can't handle it It's hard to cry It's so painful to me You know what I mean So it's like You know what I mean Well we love you Big D We love you Big D And rest in peace to his family We love you guys too And thank you for being bad friends Yeah Anyway Wow Anyway I just had to tell you Maybe save that for the end of the show You know Nah Not Nah.
Not in the middle. It's important in the middle.
Yeah, yeah. It's important because it was real.
How many funerals have you been to? Just one. Who? My great grandma.
Your great grandma. Did you know her well? Yeah, but she was also crazy and evil.
What do you mean? Did she curse you? No, she was just like to steal she would do drugs she hated everyone is it carlos imagine your great grandmother doing drugs it's insane like what kind of drugs meth how old is she I don't know like 60 something That's not old. And she had like a boy in a way.
60 to die. Yeah, but 60 to do meth is crazy.
Your body, I don't know how your body handled it. Did she die from meth? I don't know.
It just happened like suddenly. Did you cry? Probably from the meth.
Did you cry? Me cry? Yeah A little bit

No you didn't

I was crying because other people were crying

Right

Does that say in the Philippines you guys have funerals for seven days?

Yeah

What?

What?

The family will hold a wake up for up to seven days in honor of their loved one?

Yeah because we think the soul is still there and it's confused

Seven days?

Wait

Wait It needs a week to get its shit together? Like the soul is still there and it's confused. Seven days? Wait, wait, wait.

Wait.

It needs a week to get it shit together?

Directions.

Yeah.

How do I get to heaven?

Yeah, yeah.

Which way is heaven?

Confused about what?

Like what happened to it?

Like, oh, am I dead?

Like where am I going?

It takes seven days to realize that?

That's what they say.

Okay. And then like people go to that place and then they like gamble.
On the casket? No, no, no. It's just the casket and then outside of the house.
You gamble if whether or not he's gonna find his way into the afterlife? No, just play games. Oh, just for fun.
Yeah, gamble, like drink. Like there's so many like relatives that are like drunk.
Many Filipinas believe that the soul of the dead wanders the earth for 40 days after his or her death.

You think they walk around for

40 fucking days?

Why the laughter?

It just seems unlikely.

What is that?

Is that what it's called?

Pagsayam?

Pagsisiam.

They pray for nine days.

You believe people are just chilling for 40 days this is funny though to be honest of all people that would die and need to take time to get to the afterlife it's Y-O-U you think you're gonna fucking take a direct flight to the afterlife you're gonna take your time when you die you probably need seven days to get there first of all on the first day but it's not out of confusion no confucius say no no what i'm saying you're gonna take seven days i'll take seven days don't don't get me don't you're gonna get me angry today to you don't let me fuck you okay or let me say something what stop what's this painting that's the painting of this whole situation that's the whole situation that's kind of a with that chick's big tits? Yeah. Do you get to suck her tits in the afterlife? Is that what that is? No, but the seven days, I'll purposely wander around, right? Just to see what's going on, how people are reacting and stuff.
You want to know what people are saying about you. Well, rest in peace to our...
Rest in peace. To our beloved man.
Anyway, rest in peace for that. And let's move on.
Let's not talk about that. Let's move forward.
Let's go positive, positive. Well, she started it with all this filipino yeah yeah the filipino nonsense yeah yeah what's this you good i'm good are you biting your nails again yeah why i don't know you gotta cut it out you know there's poop under your nails oh i clean my hands i'm not like you guys okay do you are you watching shogun no but i'm watching tell me dairy girls oh so good You're pointing at me Are you watching Shogun? No, but I'm watching Dairy Girls.

Oh, so good.

You're pointing at me when you do that?

Were you pointing at me?

What is Dairy Girls?

It's such a comedy, right?

From England?

It's so fucking funny.

Irish?

And I've been trying to do their accent.

Let's hear you do their accent.

This is great.

Okay.

I'm sorry, Claire.

I'm just not that into you.

Not interested in me?

Look at the state of you.

That's pretty good. That's fucking good, dude.
It almost just sounds like a white person, but it's good. Sorry, Claire.
Sorry, Claire. Not India.
Not India. Not India.
Sorry, Claire. Not India.
Daddy girls. Daddy girls.
Dude, they're so fucking funny. Have you seen the show? No, I've heard of though so good it's good they're fantastic you love it? how many seasons is it? it's three three or four right? three and it's over Fallout no? I don't know okay it's so good our good friend Johnny Pemberton's in Fallout it's amazing yeah very good too I haven't seen it it's based on the video game yeah? yeah it's my favorite video game anyway let's not talk about shows anymore good.
I haven't seen it. Yeah.
It's based on the video game. Yeah.
Yeah. It's my favorite video game.
Anyway. Let's not talk about shows anymore.
What is, what is, why can't I get into stuff like that? What? I like preemptively because it's a video game. I'm like, I don't know if I can.
You know, it's funny. People have seen it that didn't even know it was a video game.
Yeah. That's what I've heard that people like it anyway.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. But if you do play the video game, you literally go,

after like three scenes,

you go, oh yeah, they have it right.

They got it.

And it's one of those games when I was playing it back in the day,

I'd be like, there's no way

they'll do a show on this.

It's too hard.

And they did it.

You know?

Well, they also made Grand Theft Auto.

A movie?

Really?

It happens every day

I leave my fucking house.

What do you mean?

Dude, honestly,

I was driving today under one of the bridges and they were five city trucks five city trucks two cops uh uh one guy to spray off the piss and shit off the sidewalk yeah one guy to collect his tents and all that stuff and it's one dude and it's five city trucks to move one guy from out from under a bridge i'm like this is grand theft auto yeah we live in fucking grand theft auto like a movie yeah it is like a bad movie i saw a man this city is fucking it's so far awful i saw a man he was on some sort of drugs right and he was like half naked traffic like western what's so funny nothing like western an Olympic-y, right? Yeah. And he fell on his ass 42 times.
42 times. Yeah, I counted.
And the light wasn't that long. We go one, two, three.
I was with my friend Haley. Four, five.
He kept falling, and we just started backling laughing. But then he was in traffic, like cars whizzing by him, and he's falling on his ass.
Wait, he's in the middle of the road? Oh, yeah. Well, you didn't go help him? am i gonna do well i don't know shuffle him along or something yeah yeah so i it was but then sadness occurred i'm like oh this is you know so funny you look around and things you shouldn't accept you accept like like homelessness not just homelessness things that you see like you know a syringe next to a baby shoe you know i mean like why are these together in the middle of the street you know i mean like things that you shouldn't and you just kind of walk by them it is what it is yeah you see a naked dude you know hey man you know and you're like and you try to walk around them and like have a good day sir it's like it's these are things in society we shouldn't accept we should help sometimes it brings you joy I'm like, I and like, have a good day, sir.
These are things in society we shouldn't accept. We should help.
Sometimes it brings you joy. What do you mean? Sucka, sucka.
Amen. I was at Fairfax, where all the stores are by Supreme and all that shit.
I was waiting at that light by Cantor's. I'm not kidding.
I was having kind of a shitty day. Yeah.
I'm sitting. I just look over to my left just to glance and there's the bus stop there.
And there's a woman with her pants on her ankles taking a shit on the bus bench. Yeah.
And a guy is sitting there on the bus bench as she, he's just sitting there. Yeah.
Yeah. And she's pooping on the bench right next to him.
He doesn't even glance over it. He just lets her shit right at the bus bench.
I was dying laughing. Yeah.
It made my day. Yeah.
It was fucking hilarious. Wait.
It's not okay. It's not okay.
I feel bad, but it was very funny to watch someone just poop on a bench with a guy sitting there. That guy's just trying to go to work.
Yeah. And she's just shitting right on the bus bench.
It was so fucking funny. I was like, this is insane.
This city is fucking terrible. Why do we live here? By the way.
Yeah. I just want to say, we can't reveal what happened at Family Feud.
Oh, can we talk about it? So I don't know about you guys, but I was nervous. Yeah, I was so anxious.
I was so anxious because I'm wearing a suit. We're driving up there.
You looked good. Yeah, thank you.
You did too. We looked great.
We were sharp as that. We looked sharp.

We show up at the place and then once you go into the studio,

you're like,

there it is.

It's real.

It's real.

Flava Flav had all 55 of his family members there.

Yeah.

We had no entourage.

Yeah.

What's that?

What's that fucking face?

You could have had one entourage.

Didn't want you.

Didn't want you there.

Sorry?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

If we were going to have somebody else there, Rudy was invited.

No, you didn't.

Yes, you were invited.

Not to be on the show.

You can't invite me.

You fucking liar.

We invited you to the show, not to be on the show, but you were invited to come and have... Yes, you fucking were.
Yes, you were. No one told me.
Well, that's your fault. Anyway, my team was...
Get told. My team was me, Andrew, this is the order, Kalilah, Esther, and my friend Gene.
Love Gene Hong, the best. Gene and Esther should have switched.
Yeah. Flava Flav came in swinging.
You don't know who that is. Is Steve Harvey's teeth really white? I'm glad you're back on the show.
Yeah, yeah, me too. Is his teeth really white? Yeah, that's what they say.
Every time he came up and said something to me, so sweet and nice, I couldn't help but think about Cat Williams' interview talking shit about him. Yeah.
Isn't that crazy? Crazy. It was like running through my mind that that guy has that much weight now.
We had a great time. It was a wonderful experience.
It was. Yeah, yeah.
And I'd love to go back and do it again. If your family ever does it.
If my family ever does it, you'll be on it, of course. And you will not.
Yeah. But you'll be invited.
That's fine. But as we're leaving.
Oh, my God, today. I just want to finish this.
We'll finish it. you're allowed to take a break i just feel pressure or something there is no pressure yeah i'm chewing too much this is chewy skittles man these are really good though where are these from japan a gas station yeah but the nice one but of those, Family Feet is one of those things where you watch it on YouTube and you never, in your wildest dreams, would think that you would ever be on it.
Right. You don't think...
Him and I are kind of crazy, you know what I mean? Idiots. We're idiots.
And they used to have, like, respectable families on there. You know what I mean? Well, who was before us? Ken Marino and the Osmonds.
Yeah. Donnie Osmond and his whole family.
And then us. And yeah, they're really scraping at the bottom.
Right. That's why we're getting asked.
Yeah. But it was like, it was fun though.
Yeah. It was fun though.
It was like, and we were leaving. I was just like, wow we just did that that was incredible well I'll tell you I have something to report to you what is it we're everybody knows that we've been talking about playing in Abu Dhabi we're excited to go there we got a list from the promoter we are not allowed I knew this was gonna happen we can't do it then no no we have just absolutely undoubtedly no nudity like literally not you can't like not i mean like it's different punishment there okay okay i can abide by i know you can but i'm letting you know that's not insane this is a no joke yeah yeah yeah yeah like like we can say what we want on stage it's though.
No nudity. Yeah, it's so weird.
Not really. Really? Because people don't want butthole stuff all the time.
Yeah, but sometimes. We do.
Everyone wants butthole stuff some of the times. Raise your hand in this room if you want butthole stuff all the time.
No, some of the times. Some of the times.
Okay. All the time.
All the time. Two.
Thank you, McConeccone yeah he does too um all right so they said the list that what else oh it says it says very and it says okay it says like under no circumstances will any of this be violated or we will be it'll be terminated right so then we'll lose out on the contract okay public nudity is against the law and there are also signs in malls shopping center advocates modest clothing so this says check this out uh this is some of these are so easy okay no consumption of alcoholic beverages i mean i said it while in public this is interesting live streaming through professional platforms without a permit meaning doing like tiktok live or instagram live is illegal permits are obtained easily if if we want to request to get a permit to film in public. But if you're caught filming in public, highly illegal without permit.
Okay. This one's going to be tough for you and I.
Making rude gestures in public is not permitted. It's going to be tough.
What do you mean rude gestures? Well, you know. You know.
In public. Outside in public.
Like on stage. Public outside.
Stage is a, that a that's a so i can show butthole on stage no what the fuck did you not hear you said okay i don't know no so but butthole nowhere nowhere how about in my hotel room if i'm in there yes okay making rude gesture in public plus on stage insulting uae royal family government members etc not permitted that's a good 20 minutes i know it's my first show yeah yeah uh on stage no consumption of alcoholic beverages great sober smoking is absolutely not permitted on stage okay in the venue never did i've never done that and on stage of no kind no form at all. Yeah, yeah.
You just said that. That's what it says multiple times.
Okay, okay. Multiple times.
So they just want to make sure that we know. Okay.
But because I remember the first time I went, I went there many, many years ago with Eric Griffin and Sebastian Maniscalco. Yeah.
And the list was no talking of religion. What? Yeah.
No talking about sexual of any nature. Yeah.
Yeah, and I was like literally going, crossing out, like blacking out 90% of my act. I'm like, I was supposed to feature, and I go, guys, I looked at both of those guys, and I go, I'm hosting.
Because then I can like kill time by crowd work and stuff like that but we can be

fined up to fifty thousand dollars for what for nudity i'm not gonna do it why do you keep saying that because i want to really lay it on yeah yeah because i'll tell you what you did the other night dude what did i do we did a live show and you go show them you do not do that inside no on stage dude was in uh not ni Falls but only in Windsor yeah but Windsor it's fine right but if you said I know my point though being is if you say in Abu Dhabi yeah show it or a wink or any of that nature I will do it well it's good to know I got that power. Okay.
I got that power.

Don't do it.

Power that butthole, baby.

I promise I won't.

I don't want to get...

Can you imagine?

That's a movie in the making.

We go to Abu Dhabi,

you show your butthole,

and we're in prison.

That's a 17-hour flight?

18 fucking hours.

We're going to get over there.

Does it stop anywhere?

That's direct.

That's direct?

We're not doing direct?

No.

I think it's got... Total flight from LAX to DXB is 17 hours, 11 minutes.
stop anywhere? That's direct. That's direct? We're not doing direct? No.
There isn't.

I think it's got total flight from LAX to DXB is 17 hours, 11 minutes.

Wow.

And then?

And then we turn around and come right back home.

The next day?

No.

We're supposed to like do some stuff.

Let's do some stuff.

Are you all going to do that?

I think so.

I've never seen a camel.

I don't think I'll close.

I've always seen a camel toe.

You've never seen a camel at all?

No.

I don't think, up close. I've always seen a camel toe.
You've never seen a camel at all? No. I'll tell you the animals I've never seen.
Camel. Yeah.
Kangaroo. Wombat.
Well, you're gonna see all that when we go to Australia at the end of the year. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I'm gonna see any of those. Well, I don't think I've ever seen.
Tasmanian devil. Never seen a...
There's a lot. Honey badger, there's a lot.
Alligator? Carocodil? Yeah, I don't want to go on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just realized there's a lot. You've never seen anything, really? Yeah, yeah.
What is that? A fennel fox? Animals in the UAE. Oh, those are cute.
Fennel foxes. Can we take one of those back? Dude, look how cute they are.
Will they freak out if we bring one home? Yeah. Yeah.
They're so cute. They're so cute.
Now, what the fuck is that? It's bison or something. No, that looks like an antelope.
Oh. Bison.
I don't know what bison looks like. Give me another photo.
There we go. Zoom in on that.
Let me guess. The right is a pelican.
Flamingo. Okay.
Monkey. Yes.
Lion. And that's a giraffe right a giraffe a giraffe yeah yeah a giraffe yeah have you seen a giraffe yeah what kind of weird animals are in the philippines that we'll never see well those bats we saw we already talked about those bats whoa whoa what is that it's a hawk no eagle what about that oh there we go oh yeah yeah yeah what is that Tarshear what Tarshear Tarshear that's that's three in the morning Greg that's goop I was just thinking the exact same thing that's goop yeah yeah that, yeah.
That's 100% goop. Yeah.
Armadillo.

Okay.

All right, forget this.

What the fuck?

Let's regroup.

What is going on in your life, Rudy?

I've been reading fairy smuts.

And it's like...

What do you mean, man?

It's like a fantasy novel.

And I'm just reading it because there's so many hot, spicy things to read.

Like fucking.

You're reading fairy fucking?

Fairies with the ears that are long.

And they're magical people.

Yeah, fairies are pretty mythological. They're pretty magical, yeah.
But they're even like stronger. And they're like so hot.
Can you do... Okay, wait, wait, stop.
What the fuck? Not that. The titties on that fucking fairy is so good.
Wait a minute. You're looking at fairy porno basically? It's fairy porn.
Yeah. How do I find it? It's's a novel can you do a court of mist and fury rice and yeah re-san okay that guy okay zoom into that photo okay so they have wings they're called bad zoom in more sorry i don't see wings bud those three guys which guys the ears on the bottom The three in the bottom Let's go to the bottom No not them They have Those are fairies Look at the ears Are they elves? Oh they turned They turned into Oh they transition Yeah Oh this is progressive It's progressive But the boys Are girls Boys But they are girls When they transition.
No. Okay.
But the boys. Are you saying the boys? Boys.
The boys. The boys.
The boys. The men.
Yeah. Are they under 18? No.
They're called men then. But they're called bat boys.
Okay. I'm a bat boy.
Yeah. And they say.
Bat boy. Bat, bat, bat, bat, bat, bat, bat boy.
It's just so hot. I'm a little boy.
Yeah. And they say.
Butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt.

It's just so hard.

I'm a little butt boy.

Butt boy.

I'm a butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt.

They're butt boys?

Come have sex with me.

I'm a butt boy.

Do they have butt sex?

Not in the book.

Okay, not in the book.

So you're reading these erotic novels, but they're all based on fairy fucking.

Yeah.

Wow.

Is it romantic?

It's romantic.

Do they go to high school?

They're like buildings? Yeah, it's romantic. It's like serious, but I just like based on fairy fucking.
Yeah. Wow.
Is it romantic? Do they go to high school? They're like buildings?

Yeah, it's romantic.

It's like serious

but I just like it

because of the sex part.

Wow.

It's so hot.

I just...

It's so gross.

And then when they fuck

they say if you touch their wings

they like orgasm fast.

If you play with their wings,

that's how they come.

Imagine this.

Imagine this.

You're down there.

This isn't working.

Is that what you mean?

You touch their wings.

Why don't you just go for the wings in the beginning?

Well, foreplay. Foreplay is just regular sex.
Then you stroke the wings. And if you have longer wings, that means you have a...
Oh, so the black ones have the longer ones. Is there any little Asian...
Little Asian... Wings? They probably can't even fly.
But I want to be in that world. That's who you want to be.
You want to to be in a fantasy world Don't turn into one of these people that like Dynamically changes their Are you going to do like a plastic surgery to become a fairy Will you cosplay it? No that's cringe Oh that's cringe That's cringe This isn't cringe though Touch my wings Is that what you say? I don't know if the author had that in mind with that voice, but. I don't know what it is.
I don't know what it is. I don't know what's going on.
Touch my wings. That's my wings.
You gotta touch my wings. Yeah.
That's interesting. Are there other creatures in that world? There's different creatures.
Name me one. Like sirens? They're sirens, but they're ugly.
Sirens are are the sirens are ugly yeah yeah there's our gargoyles there's different kinds there's even like the half horse centaur centaur yeah there's different kinds but i like the bat boys because they're the the court of mist and fury it's a series Can you imagine how much money these people make writing this shit?

And then the movie writes.

Is it good enough to be in a movie?

No.

I don't think so.

It's not going to be good if it's a person playing it.

This is election night in Seoul, Korea?

Yeah.

I always stay up for these.

What?

I'm very interested.

This is their coverage. Yeah, there we go.
Wait, where's the volume? It's great. It's all AI generated? Whoa.
See, they're having fun with it. It's like Tekken.
Yeah, tekken fight there's mission impossible the last one yeah mission impossible boom so one guy's winning 62 to 38 he's fucking smoking smoking him i will change the roads i will change a bulletproof vest and we. And we both go in a fight.

This is the Mission Impossible

because the train and everything,

that's so funny.

See, they know how to do it fun.

That's fun.

How come we can't do it fun?

Could we take ourselves serious?

Is that what it is?

Yeah.

Why don't we do it here?

Like British Parliament,

how come we don't do that kind of shit?

Where it's all wacky

and they yell at each other?

And a lot of these European countries now, they don't have the death penalty. I didn't realize that.
We should still have the death penalty. I don't think so.
You don't think so at all? I don't think eye for an eye is the thing. Do you think? I think it's cruel.
Not even if it's a mass shooter. Oh, yeah, yeah.
That for sure. So what are you talking about? Exactly.
I just changed my mind. That's why I wouldn't be a good politician.
Well, no, that's why- I would change so quickly. I just think there's certain- I stand for, you know what I mean, strict borders and somebody yell at me.
I stand for strict borders and heavy building a wall. Heckles.
Who's going to build the wall, dude? You're right about that. No wall.
That's a great politician. What? That's a great politician.
That is actually what they're good good at capital punishment has been completely abolished in all european countries except for belarus and russia shout out to fucking belarus and russia the latter of which has a moratorium and has not carried out an execution since september 1996 if you do heinous crazy shit i think we gotta get you out of here but there are some people that are you know i mean falsely accused of a crime and they're in death row okay how about this if you're not falsely accused if you're the one that's like yeah i i went to that thing and shot all those people it's like well then we're gonna get you hmm but isn't it more punishment being in a cell your whole life here's the debate we pay for it as taxpayers so you're like do you want to just pay for them or do you want to just get rid of them because he's killed so many people okay I'll propose something else there you go may I propose something else totally okay do quickly mm-hmm as soon the next day you say oh because right there's like thousands of people still on death row right because we're paying all the tax rights it's just no but you should torture them yeah oh yeah yeah yeah a week month. A month, yeah.
Or the seven days that you're supposed to be gone. The seven days in the Filipino law.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So look at that.
2,500 people are still on death row. They're just chilling.
They're chilling. It's not going to happen for most of them.
What kind of torture would you think should happen? You know the one they did in Game of Thrones where they put a mouse. Yeah.
They just put a mouse yeah did you put a mouse on the belly that is so disgusting so it chews through a bucket a mouse a rat that you chew through the abdomen yeah okay you got there i got there yeah it's that's that would be unbelievably bad to me a rat chewing through your stomach isn't that bad how about this one how about we put you down at the bottom of a well and we just lower a little bit of water down there every day just a little bit of water every day what does that do it keeps you alive you just drink because you're gonna go nuts oh down the well yeah you're gonna go how long can you live with just water a while a pretty long time yeah Until, how long can you live on just water? I gotta tell you, it is longer. It's a long time, but it's not two to three months.
It's pretty good, though. Two to three months.
But think about that. That's a slow- Can you eat your fingernails? You can eat your whole body if you wanted to.
Yeah. Or if that well, if other people have used it, because I thought about this during, like, in Silence of the Lambs.

You know how that late-

Such a good movie.

Great movie.

Remember when she looked at the walls and there were nails?

I would eat those.

A metal, what is that?

How painful, the brazen bull.

Oh, right, to slow and truly agonizing death the person inside.

The device was engineered to convert the screams of suffering victims

into sounds that were eerily similar to the bellowing of a bull.

So you're stuck inside the bellowing bull.

How about this?

Brazen bull.

That's what it's called.

You take a man, a man who's like completely like, like, you know, alpha male, right?

He's, oh, that's crazy.

That's how Jesus died.

They cooked him inside of a bull. That's insane.
And they organized the horn to just... That's how they know dinner's served?

What about for men?

Caught off their penis.

Caught off their penis.

No.

They just get like fisted.

No, I'm going to take you further.

You get a surgeon. You take a man.
You give him all female parts. Right? And then you charge a cover.
Oh, wow, yeah. This is pretty expensive.
No, because you're going to make it back. You transition somebody? Yeah, but you're going to make the money back by the cover.
What are you charging? How 500 bucks come on you gotta make it more economical a thousand dollars a hundred bucks oh hundred dollars a hundred bucks and you can just it's about volume at this point oh yeah yeah yeah just imagine you know what i mean yeah oh you know i'm sorry for robbing that bank What if we tied people to a helicopter and you got to pinata them? Ooh.

Ooh. I'm sorry for robbing that bank.
What if we tied people to a helicopter

and you got to pinata them?

That's kind of wild, right?

I guess something better.

Give it to me.

A water slide.

It's a water slide.

It sounds fun.

Because you think you're going to have a good time.

Okay.

You get in.

You have your favorite bathing suit on.

Right?

There's a guy up there going, all right, have fun, buddy. Yeah.
Right? Yeah. Okay.
You slide down, but the fucking gets thinner and thinner. Mm-hmm.
Right? The slide, yeah. The slide.
And then eventually you get stuck. Right? Right? Wow.
And then the water, because water first has water, you drown in it. Ooh.
Ooh. How do we get you unstuck for the next guy though you pile them on so you're like on top of each other right and then you maybe you can make the fucking like a kebab that's what I was saying can you make the tube more of a tortilla kind of a thing? Oh.
You know what I mean? Some sort of, what? It's like a tortilla shape? No, it's actual tortilla. No, you're saying if you want them to be edible.
No. Oh, so they slide down naked.
You put them in a, like a really thick tortilla where they could, they're not going to slip out of it. Right.
Right. And then once you have like 10 guys you tie it up right and we eat them you eat them you bake them and you eat them this makes a lot of sense I don't know just throwing it out there I don't know I don't know what I'm talking about right now what's the video I sent you or didn't I send you another oh yeah that one that one go back that one other other one.
We found out where Doc is. Uh-oh.
He's been training. His breath hold is so good.
Yeah, for little tiny lungs? Yeah. Where does he hold it all? Yeah.
Look at him. We're not scared, buddy.
I think that guy would fuck shit up. Yeah? I don't know why this went around the internet, but man, it's just cute to watch him.
It's cute to watch him. I don't know why.
Yeah. I would hire him just to swim in my pool bud yeah man he wants to come on the show bring him on the show he lives in LA we have to fly him out he's always around here he lives in Miami he's always coming to LA let me ask you something did you go to Coachella do you guys even go to Coachella I've never been have Have you been? Let's go next year Abso-fucking-lose Let's go next year No I really need to go I've already gone once You have? I went in like the fourth year or fifth year when it was brand new and then now We gotta go next year No matter who was playing Look at this You see Justin Bieber and what's his name? Jaden Smith making out Yeah Look.
Look at their humping and then he gives him a big kiss. I love you, baby.
I love Justin Bieber. Oh, my God.
This clip circulated like crazy. Gay porn is so good.
Okay. Enough.
It's honestly, dude. What are you talking about? This is not gay porn.
Yeah. I'm just saying because they're really kissing.
No, they're just kissing on each other and cheek.'ve done that to Andrew, but man not like this. This looks interesting Yeah, you've never kissed me like that.
It's just look at no, I don't think so Oh Let's just get to a nice little angle there I'm walking by What is he saying J Jake? What's he saying? Sit down Fuck Sit down You said sit down You didn't even want to it. I was just like, what is this bit?

Thank you for...

What?

I gotta go.

Let's do it.

Thank you for being a bad friend.

Thank you. Woo-hoo Yeah Woo-hoo

Yeah