Family Feud

Speaker 1 You believe you seriously believe in voodoo dolls?

Speaker 1 I believe in New Orleans black magic.

Speaker 1 And that's not being racial. Yeah, it sounds like it is.
It's called black magic. I'm not being racial.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's see.

Speaker 2 He doesn't notice. There's nothing there.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh,

Speaker 1 you gotta find a... This went right in your vagina? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, how about this?

Speaker 1 Ow! Did it work? Yeah. Okay, I'll stop.
You two are bad friends.

Speaker 3 Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 4 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 We're bad friends.

Speaker 1 This is such a nice gift that we got from a fan. Where was this in? Niagara, or was it in? It was in Niagara.
And then they go,

Speaker 1 then they said, we didn't have enough time to do yours to you. And I saw your heartbreak a little bit.
No, you know I don't care about that stuff.

Speaker 1 I thought that was very nice that they gave you something.

Speaker 1 I don't need to have reciprocation for gifts. When you get something, I don't need to get anything.
I don't mind. Mostly because I don't get any, but it's also because.
Do you get some?

Speaker 1 Pretty rarely, but I don't. I think you get gifts because you ask for them often.
I don't ask for gifts. It's fucking ridiculous, dude.

Speaker 1 You definitely fucking do. I deserve them.
That's he, but that's different than asking. Why do you think you deserve gifts from? Well, I'm a conduit of.

Speaker 1 You're having a stroke? No.

Speaker 1 No, I just.

Speaker 1 I'm really kind of going, why do I need them? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think it's a good, oh, it's one of my love languages. Your love language is gift receiving?

Speaker 1 Yeah. One of my love languages is gift receiving.
Usually it's gift receiving. Mine's touch and gift receiving.

Speaker 1 Mine is. And blowjobs.

Speaker 1 That's my love language.

Speaker 1 My love languages are isolation

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 alcohol. Yeah.
How many love languages are there? Five. Five.
Five. This should be 20.

Speaker 1 Because none of the five really embody my love language. Well, that's kind of like, that's like, this is like genders now.
If there's going to be 50 genders, then there can be 50. Nothing.

Speaker 1 Words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, that's you. Quality time and physical touch.
I guess pee in my face is

Speaker 1 physical touch. Yeah.
So it does embody that. Well, are they touching you, though? Yeah.
I guess. A part of inside.
Something inside is touching my body, so I guess that is physical touch.

Speaker 1 That's physical touch. Yeah, yeah.
Could you ever do like a Shaiza video, you know, in Germany where they poop on each other? Could you ever do that? Like a poop video?

Speaker 1 with you you would with you Carlos and

Speaker 1 McCone well let me tell you why I'm out on Carlos because Carlos's experience from this past weekend oh he's a bad little naughty boy we'll talk

Speaker 1 huh you're out i'm out on you for a little while oh no i think you're a bad little boy i think you're a gross little dirty scum

Speaker 1 nugget

Speaker 1 i'm not jealous dude i wouldn't do i wouldn't have done what you did oh what you did was bottom of the barrel scum bucket nugget nugget that is yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It was terrible. You know what that is when you get like a six-piece nugget from McDonald's, and there's always one that you're like, oh my God,

Speaker 1 I can't eat that. Yeah.
What did they do to it? Yeah.

Speaker 2 What did you do?

Speaker 1 What did I do? I did nothing. Right.

Speaker 2 No, even going to McDonald's.

Speaker 1 You weren't outside. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 1 I don't know what you're implying, but I'm trying to be positive today because it is tax week. Oh, okay.
So I'm trying to be mindful and very positive. So clearly say you're slammed.

Speaker 1 And you look ridiculous today. I know.
Yeah, yeah. But we won't even address it.
So go ahead. What were you saying?

Speaker 2 Well, I just heard that you had not such a great time at McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I didn't. I opened up my nugget box, and there was no nuggets.

Speaker 1 And who told you this information? Oh, there's only one rat in this room.

Speaker 1 Look, Carlos, we're just having luck. All right, so this is what happened.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 You spread lies. You spread rumors.
We'll have to address it.

Speaker 5 When you came down from the elevator at like 2.30 in the morning and I'm walking up the elevator,

Speaker 2 you were so happy to see me.

Speaker 1 Why do you get you, you know, you've got some like Trumpisms on your expressions where you go,

Speaker 1 yeah, I mean, I learned from the past. I know.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Coaches.
Yeah, your Bidenism.

Speaker 1 Sleepy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, um,

Speaker 1 so I was coming down, you were coming up,

Speaker 1 and the reason why I smiled at you was as if, like, if you, remember that, you know, in Game of Thrones, medieval times, were they jousting with the horse? Yeah. Right?

Speaker 1 I was obviously the one that lost, right? So I'm in the fucking armor. Well, you're off your horse.
I'm off the horse. You didn't get on the horse.
You barely got on the horse. Right.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, there's blood, and you have your little pole thing. You're looking down at me.
That's what that

Speaker 1 I would smile if we were jousting. I see.
I was like, you got me this time. Yeah, good game.
Good game. Right.
So that's what that smile was about. Right.
So what happened was,

Speaker 1 give it up, baby.

Speaker 1 we both met somebody

Speaker 1 that night I get what time was that Niagara Falls Niagara Falls this was uh but around just about midnight is the departure from the show

Speaker 1 so I grew up I don't know what it is gone I was sulking in the green room well you were I just the show didn't go as well as I wanted worst one of the worst shows we've ever done I don't know was that it was just like something wasn't clicking was it me I feel like it was me it was certainly not you every joke I said ate it.

Speaker 1 That's not true. That's actually not true.
We can all be genuine about it. There was a guy with one leg.
The one-legged guy. He took his leg off.
It was awesome.

Speaker 1 And in my mind, I was like, I got a joke. Right? Yeah.
So he takes his leg off. And this is about 5,000 people.
Yeah. It was a lot of people.
Right.

Speaker 1 So he takes his leg off and he's kind of hopping around on stage. And I go, I'm going to save this joke.
Yeah. I heard you store it.
I heard it going. Yeah, yeah, like a penny bit.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then finally, there was like a little gap where I go, I'll do it. My instincts are usually right.
They're almost always right. So I look at him and I go,

Speaker 1 you have a beautiful nub.

Speaker 1 And silence.

Speaker 1 It was almost as if there was no one there.

Speaker 1 Right? And when that happens, you smile, but your eyes show all. Yeah, yeah.
So I did.

Speaker 1 It was. I laughed.
No, you did. Yeah, I did.
No, you have zingers. No, no, no.
Oh, you're a zing master.

Speaker 1 But we had to smell the guys.

Speaker 1 For those. Oh, my God, it was the worst.
Dude, for our fans that have one leg or one limb missing and the sleeve, he took off the thing and he goes, it smells pretty bad.

Speaker 1 And we both said, like, how, I mean, who cares? It can't be that. He's like, trust me, you don't want to.
And we smelled it. I genuinely, I almost threw up

Speaker 1 in the booth. Yeah.
Boop. Booth, the boop.
Yeah. In his boot because it was unbelievable.
Yeah, it's a little bit of B.O. It's like B.O., rotten bedusi.

Speaker 1 Rotten bedusi for sure. And you know what else it is? What? Like

Speaker 1 an old dingleberry. Like a dingleberry that's been attached for a long time and it got rehydrated.
Like a little bit of water splashed on it. Yeah.
You know, in Korea,

Speaker 1 some of the bathrooms. By the way.
Yeah. Whatever you're going to say, yes.
Yes.

Speaker 1 In Korea, some of the bathrooms, right, are still a hole in the ground, right? Because where my grandparents lived. China, same thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I remember I was a kid.

Speaker 1 I don't know if I've ever talked about this, have I?

Speaker 1 When I was a kid, I go, Um, how long has this been here?

Speaker 1 And my grandfather goes, Thousand years, thousand years ago, right? So basically, there's a hole in the ground, and you can look down, and there's it's like a well of shit, yeah, right.

Speaker 1 And I thought, My great, great, great, great-grandfather's shit is down there. That's awesome, yeah, shit.
Well,

Speaker 1 yeah, the bottom of that layer is what his fucking mouth comes.

Speaker 1 Smell Smell that, smell black.

Speaker 1 Just bad. We huffed it.
We passed it around.

Speaker 1 I meet a young lady. You met a young lady, which was a good high point after the show.

Speaker 1 And Indian, which

Speaker 1 I have to only say because.

Speaker 1 No. Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 All right, all right.

Speaker 1 I mean, the music was enough, I feel like. Is that racist? I don't think it is.
Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, yeah, no.
Branga danga danga danga.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right, all right.

Speaker 1 I guess it's like a trigger for me. It's a trigger for me.
Don't go.

Speaker 1 When you go, don't

Speaker 1 go. I do the dot dot dot.
I'm sorry. All right, stop.
That hurt, actually. But

Speaker 1 all right, that's enough. I won't do it anymore.
That's enough. Please stop.
That's comedy in threes. Yeah, yeah.
So you met this young woman. She was very nice and very

Speaker 1 hooked up with an Indian woman. I'm shocked.
You've never even had like a makeout session with an Indian girl? Never. So, but you, but you've hooked up with almost every other color of the rainbow.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, not black. You've never had a black girl.
Oh, yeah, I I have. Come on, come on.
One. Bob.
One. Full or half.
St. Louis.
Full hat. 100%.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Not the kind that Robert De Niro would like.

Speaker 1 You never had Indian ever. Never.
I think it was the one. I've had Persian.
I've been hooked up with Puerto Persian. Yeah.
I've hooked with Mexico. What's up, bro? What's up?

Speaker 1 I've had South American. Ooh, what? Brazil?

Speaker 1 Not Brazil. Argentina, my friend.

Speaker 1 Argentina. Yeah.
That's that. Argentina.
Argentina. Brazil.
And so. no Central Americans, by the way, but he was she was more like messy, oh

Speaker 1 so kind of looked like Andres,

Speaker 1 no messy, like her vagina was like

Speaker 1 very dirty,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 So, um,

Speaker 1 so I, you know, we go, and then she just

Speaker 1 she gets naked.

Speaker 1 We make out a little bit, she gets naked.

Speaker 1 She goes, I don't want to do this. I was just fine.
I go, I'm fine, you know, obviously.

Speaker 1 sure i'm fine she's like i could just just kind of give you a like a lap dancey kind of thing oh okay

Speaker 1 well since we're here yeah you know might as well

Speaker 1 whilst in niagara falls yeah like in mcdonald's i get the nuggets you gotta right so it's like but do you ever really get the nuggets i don't that's the point right do you were you fully clothed i was fully clothed very weird very weird right why didn't you get naked She's naked, you're clothed?

Speaker 1 She didn't want me to.

Speaker 1 She said, she got naked, I was like doing this, and she goes, no, I'm not feel comfortable about this.

Speaker 1 She's butt. And so I'm standing there like,

Speaker 1 and she's going, yeah, yeah, I'll give you a lap dance. I was just like, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 It's so weird for some one party to get naked, the other one to be like, I don't want you to get naked. Yeah, yeah.
So she does a lap dash, very good. Sure.
Then she gets clothed and she goes, bye.

Speaker 1 And then I walk her down. That's nice, though.
Yeah. But then he comes up with just relief.
Like the Joker.

Speaker 1 Right, right. Right.
This dirty nut skunk. Nugget, nugget, nugget.
Right, nugget, right? Went. Well, speaking of strip dances, yeah, he went to a strip club.
Right, so went to a private room. Sober.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fine. And tell the story then, Nugget.

Speaker 5 This girl.

Speaker 1 Friend?

Speaker 1 My girlfriend. Just a bud.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 She messaged me and she was like, oh, you're going to be in Canada. I'll be close to Niagara Falls.
I'll make it a work trip. I'll go there.

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 5 In parentheses, I'm a stripper.

Speaker 1 Right. And I went, oh, cool.
her job's everywhere i guess exactly yeah and so she can't get off work during the show if she would you have said um oh cool

Speaker 1 if she was a nuclear engineer of course

Speaker 1 so i got i'm a say it i'm a nuclear engineer i'm a nuclear engineer what are you talking you're

Speaker 1 i'm the girl oh okay

Speaker 1 just go on no no no stop damn that's the weirdest improv yeah what are you doing yeah what is this a david lynch improv right i'm a nuclear i'm a nuclear engineer It just never ends.

Speaker 1 It's like repetition. So am I.
In Miser Technique? Yeah. There's an exercise in Miser Technique acting style where you repeat the word

Speaker 1 until you hit the motion. So you say it differently.

Speaker 5 That's funny because you've literally done this a million times to Andrew where you've been the wrong character in the improv scene.

Speaker 1 Dude, Nuggy, you're begging for trouble. It's tough tonight.
Buddy. It's a tough day.
What are you begging for? Are you looking for a fucking...

Speaker 1 It's a tough day.

Speaker 5 I don't think I did anything wrong in Niagara Falls.

Speaker 1 You did anything written right? I didn't say you did anything wrong.

Speaker 1 We're celebrating in your victory. Oh, okay.
He, dude, you just jousted.

Speaker 1 He's still picking up some of his armor. Yeah, be nice.
You're right. You're right.
Yeah, you don't parade around after the joust and show off. Yeah, you're right.
No, you help him up off the ground.

Speaker 5 Which I did.

Speaker 1 Still residual.

Speaker 1 All right, continue. So you got to.
I'm proud of you, dude, is what I'm saying. I'm emotional.
Yeah. Go ahead.
I like that you said she couldn't get off work like it's a fucking corporate gig.

Speaker 1 Like she has to go ask for PTO to not dance. Can't you just say, I'm not going to dance tonight?

Speaker 5 Well, she got there like around four, and I think the law is you have to dance for five hours a day.

Speaker 1 The law?

Speaker 5 There's dancer laws, dude.

Speaker 1 What do you mean?

Speaker 5 She had to get a permit to dance there. It's Canada.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, for business, but she could also just not dance.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but she wanted to like be in good standings at the club. Got it.
The guys that work there seem scary.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah. At a strip club, they seem like shady fellows.
A lot of Drake's around.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 So I asked her if there's a private room we can go to at the strip club, and she goes, Of course, there's a VIP room, the champagne room, exactly.

Speaker 1 And those usually cost a couple hundred bucks, right? At least, right?

Speaker 5 No, it was 50 for 30 minutes. It's kind of that.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, Canada. Jesus, Niagara Falls.

Speaker 5 But I mean, it's not like really a private room. There's a curtain

Speaker 5 on the sides. You can still see.
So we go there. I spent $100.
We're in there the whole time.

Speaker 1 So this was a transaction.

Speaker 5 I didn't give it to her.

Speaker 5 I gave it to some Asian lady who's like...

Speaker 1 There's always an Asian lady roaming around collecting cash at strip clubs. Why not? I know.
It's great. I don't even know what she does.
She was like the pimp of a VIP era. God bless.

Speaker 5 Yeah, we went in there.

Speaker 1 We had some laughs and hung out. You guys, so what did you just chuckle about meme culture on the internet? Or what did you guys have a laugh about?

Speaker 5 She had run into some people that night that were at our show. She was talking about that.

Speaker 1 Let's get back to

Speaker 1 brass taps. Just talking, huh?

Speaker 5 We did other things.

Speaker 1 Explain.

Speaker 1 Please explain. We had sex.

Speaker 3 Ah, interesting.

Speaker 1 Bad boy. Very bad.
Say the other thing.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 5 That she wants to get married now? No.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 What the fuck are you talking about? She wants to get married? Yeah. Oh, yeah, you texted me.
It was so that good.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to say the other thing. I could tell right now that you're...

Speaker 2 The other thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, tell us the other thing.

Speaker 5 Oh, my God. The thing I said at breakfast.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Which is what?

Speaker 5 That I got to go pregnant.

Speaker 1 No. Well, you're adding information that we don't even need right now, dude.
You mean I murdered somebody three years ago? I mean, I don't want to know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You talking about the blood all over the front seat of my car?

Speaker 1 That's from high school, man.

Speaker 1 No, dude. Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 What? What's the other thing?

Speaker 5 I I can't remember the other thing now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you do. You didn't wear a condom.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's so normal.

Speaker 5 Of course, I wouldn't remember that.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. Incredible.

Speaker 5 Bobby's acting like he's like the king of condoms.

Speaker 1 I am the king of condoms. He is king.
They call him king of kong

Speaker 1 when he comes into the he walks in and goes, king of condom, king of condom.

Speaker 1 And the people at 7-Eleven are like, here he is, king of condom.

Speaker 1 He gets him by the thousand pack.

Speaker 1 I think Bobby's

Speaker 1 idiot. None of them fits.
Bubbalicious?

Speaker 1 I think Bobby's making reference to the fact that you were with a dancer who I think you told us also plays the game.

Speaker 2 Monopoly?

Speaker 1 Kind of, yeah. Kind of the Monopoly of life.
Really funny. No, she plays the game of life.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, be careful.
I'll tell you what she does.

Speaker 1 She plays hungry, hungry hippos, but the little balls are dicks. Hoppin, happen, hop, happen, hop, happen.

Speaker 1 All right, all right, all right. Wait, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed today? I woke up in a good side.
So did I. Yeah, I danced in the shower this morning.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was singing today when I woke up. But these guys.
Right? I was singing. And then, because, you know, I'm getting my house done.
It's almost done.

Speaker 1 No, the bedroom's going to take two more weeks. Oh, my God.
I know. What is she doing? But the living room, she put the furniture in.
Oh. Right? And I walked,

Speaker 1 my living room had nothing.

Speaker 1 It was like an open house.

Speaker 1 It was pretty bare.

Speaker 1 Nothing. Yeah.
Right.

Speaker 1 And to see a rug and curtains and all that stuff. It was just, I was, I walked into my living room.
Last night I sat there for the first time. Yeah.
And just kind of like watch stuff.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? But I was in a good mood. My cats were like, I woke up like,

Speaker 1 right just,

Speaker 1 and my cats were like,

Speaker 1 it was like, we were in, and then fuck faces, man. Man.
Bringing me down today, scum nuggets over there.

Speaker 1 Why? What did I do? What did he do, guys? You didn't do anything. I'm a good employer.

Speaker 6 Can I just say something? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You were mad at me for what?

Speaker 5 The next morning. You were acting nice and proud of me today, but the next morning when I saw you, you were pretty upset with me for getting laid.

Speaker 1 No, he wasn't upset at the fact that you got laid. Thank you, Andrew.
That's an insane comment. Pure insanity.
And you know better.

Speaker 1 No, he's not upset that you got laid. Thank you, Andrew.
At all.

Speaker 2 He got upset because he didn't get laid.

Speaker 1 No, I don't need to get laid. Janet's a good experience.

Speaker 1 It's almost like you guys before the show talked about fucking with him. It feels like all of you guys had like a meeting about how to fuck with him.
Doesn't it feel that way? It does feel.

Speaker 1 I'm being fucked with. I feel like I'm being fucked with a guy.
Even with the kid. Yeah.
His tone earlier was

Speaker 1 attitude Magood over there. That was, I mean, talking about it.
Maybe is it something that I can change?

Speaker 1 I don't think you did anything. I know, but I'm just from the for my employees.
What is something that I can do to change? Well, this is an opportunity to make a comment. This is HR.

Speaker 1 So let's hear it.

Speaker 5 You do owe me $100.

Speaker 1 Holy shit. Holy shit, dude.
I swear to fucking God. When he said that, my eyes started vibrating.
I think it's rage.

Speaker 1 It's like

Speaker 1 it's fucking rage.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you'll get that. No, I don't want it.
No, you're going to get it. Oh, you're going to get it, buddy.
You want it? You got it. You'll get it.
You got it. Yes, Carlos.
I'll give you interest.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. What's interest worth nowadays?

Speaker 1 What's interesting? I'm not going to give him monetary interest. I'm going to give him something else.

Speaker 1 Something better. Something better.
Yeah, something that... Thank you.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, no, you're not going to like it.

Speaker 5 You know what's funny? Yesterday, I got you and Andrew a present for the end of the tour. So while you're preparing for this, remember that I have a present coming.

Speaker 1 Do we get it at the end of the tour or we get it right now?

Speaker 5 No, you get it at the end of the tour, but I had to throw it in there.

Speaker 1 Is this because you've ordered it and it hasn't come yet or you actually haven't gotten anything, but you're thinking about it right now? No, I ordered it and it hasn't come.

Speaker 7 I don't think you ordered it.

Speaker 5 No, I swear to God, I did everything last night.

Speaker 1 And let me ask you a real question. Did we pay for it? No.
Let me ask you another question. Let me ask you another question.
We did, didn't we? No, of course not.

Speaker 1 No, I promise no. Come on.

Speaker 1 I'm going to see a charge on the company card.

Speaker 1 I literally promise you I pay for it.

Speaker 1 Okay. It would have been nice if you would have held that detail and then just gave it to us.
It would have been such a big surprise.

Speaker 5 I know, but I had to throw it in there because right now you did?

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's why I got fired before the end of the tour.

Speaker 1 Exactly. He's trying to swim his way upstream now.
He's so far down. He's trying to get back.

Speaker 1 And it's not going to work, but it's okay. Let's start off on a better note.
We had a great morning. You and I were singing this morning.
I was singing. I was playing with the dude.

Speaker 1 What song were you singing? Roddy Rich is my favorite get-hyped

Speaker 1 rapper right now. I fucking love Roddy Rich.
Everything he makes, I'm always like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. It gets me in my feels, dude.
What is that? I don't know. His voice is perfect.

Speaker 1 His rhythms are always, his beats are so good. They're so good.
Ugh. I don't know, man.
I fuck with Roddy Rich.

Speaker 1 Hard. Roddy, get at me.

Speaker 1 Come say what's up to bad friends. Roddy Rich on this show would be amazing.

Speaker 1 Anyway. I know.
You don't like black music. I love it.
Exactly. I'm going to get Roddy Rich.
All music is black music, actually. So you do like black music.
You don't like it.

Speaker 1 It all stems from blues, some jazz. It all stems from tribal music as we're really going to go way back.
Let's go way back. Let's go way, way back.
If you go way back, it's from noise.

Speaker 1 If you go way, way back. You know what I mean? When we were organisms?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Amoebas.

Speaker 1 Is that an amoeba? Yeah, can you imagine even black little amoebas like

Speaker 1 they could beatbox when they were like little microorganisms?

Speaker 1 Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. Anyway, let's go back.
So I'm happy for you. Let's move on.
You know what I mean? That was a great. But, you know,

Speaker 1 it's very, very good. Very, very, very, very good.

Speaker 1 So what I want to say is that, you know, it's the end of the tour. We have a couple more left.
We have Tucson and Vegas, and that's it. Yeah, maybe we'll go back in 2026.

Speaker 1 We're going to take some time off. 55, we'll take some time off for the rest of the year.
I mean, in the United States, that is. We're going to Australia at the end of the year.

Speaker 1 Tickets will be coming on sale soon. People keep asking us.
Australia, we're calming down. And we're going to Dubai, which is a one-off, one show.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 you know, it's a little sad, but I think, I, but we're going to see each other every week here on the pod. Yeah, do we have to do it? We'll see each other at the club.
Nothing's going to change.

Speaker 1 We'll hang out. Yeah, nothing's going to happen.
Everything's going to be good. No, are you feeling a little anxious about it? You do sound like you're a little sad.

Speaker 1 I do think it was a little weird because when I said to you, the tour is almost over, you did kind of react where I think you might, it's a little bit of a melancholy thing for you. Well, you know,

Speaker 1 the truth be told, it is sad

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 when I go on the road alone, it's just not as fun. It's totally different.
Yeah, I'm I'm by myself. I have some openers.

Speaker 1 There's more pressure, I think,

Speaker 1 because of the fact that it's my thing, you know, and it's just fun to like, you know, when you're on stage, especially in the stand-up portions, I know that they're getting a good show. Same.

Speaker 1 You know, so it's like. And then we go out together.
And then the best part is we go eat a great meal. Yeah.
So it's been a really fun. It saved my life, actually, last year.
You think so? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Those early dates really saved my life, man. I was in a bad state.
So, you know, I just kind of look at it all. You know, life, there's a lot of curveballs right now.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of things happening. And it's like,

Speaker 1 you know, I had said, I think, earlier on that I go, I think 2024 is the best year I've ever had.

Speaker 1 But now certain things are happening that there's some roadblocks and some trials and tribulations, you know, and I, you know.

Speaker 1 But I'm still finding joy in it, you know, because I know everything passes. Nothing is forever.
Everything passes. This too shall pass.
Yeah, don't you think? I totally agree. I believe that.

Speaker 1 When I see that video of me as a kid, you know, on my Instagram where I was, you know, I mean, doing stand-up and wash, you know, at the restaurant working,

Speaker 1 when I look at that guy, I go, oh, that guy was riddled with all these problems and issues and with people and circumstances and scenarios.

Speaker 1 And none of those things should have been an issue because I don't even know what they were. Yeah, but how do we know?

Speaker 1 But we worried so hard when you're young, you you worry so hard about the things that are going on. Like, I'm never going to have this.
And then none of that came true.

Speaker 1 And so it's like, right, right now, I'm trying to go

Speaker 1 in five years. I'm going to look back at now and go,

Speaker 1 oh, why did I worry about that? Yeah. So I'm not, I don't want to worry about it now because as you get older, you know, the end's coming, man.

Speaker 1 And soon.

Speaker 1 Did you see who's left? Yeah. Yeah.
That's crazy, dude. And what is it? The end is near.
And right that soon. Judgment cometh and right that soon.

Speaker 1 You know, You know, Andreas, when I die and I look down, because I will be looking down at my services and my funeral and stuff.

Speaker 1 I think he means because you're in the casket.

Speaker 1 No, I think he means I'm in heaven. I think he means in the casket.

Speaker 1 That's what I think he's.

Speaker 1 You know what's interesting is you will be looking up from the casket at the people surrounding you crying. Regardless of where I'm at.
And I think about me, I'll be cremated.

Speaker 1 But I'll be a lump of dust, but I'll want them to save my eyes. So I just want the lump of cremation with two little eyeballs.
Dude, that's so good. Is that funny? Maybe your lips, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. But it's like your eyes, lips, and a lips on a bag.
Oh, my God. It's me doing the Bobby Mom face.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what? Can you do it in a bag? Yeah. What?

Speaker 1 A clear bag with your eyes, your lips, and I'm going to put a hook on it. And for every Christmas, it's going to be an ornament.

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Speaker 1 We thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast. Anyway, so it's sad, the end of the thing, but you know, there's always a beginning.
There's always a new one. One door closes, another one opens.

Speaker 1 Like, look at this. Special moment for us.

Speaker 1 This episode will have already come out, but in a few days, we're going to be playing Family Feud.

Speaker 1 No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Don't do that at Family Feud. I promise I won't.
Because I will do that on national TV. Okay.

Speaker 1 We're playing Family Feud. So what happened was

Speaker 1 I was hanging out with Rachel Bielson.

Speaker 1 Rachel Bilson? And Olivia. And they from the OC.
And they asked me, Rachel goes, can you be, do you want to do Family Feud on my family? And I go, I'd be honored.

Speaker 1 And then two days later, I get a call that Family Feud wants my family.

Speaker 1 Right? So I'm like, I said yes immediately. Now I can't sleep at night because I want to be a fool.
No. I don't know anything.
We're going to do great.

Speaker 1 I know it without pressure. But imagine standing there with Steve Harvey, my opponent, with the buzzer, right? And I just don't know how quick I'm going to be.
I've never done it before.

Speaker 1 I don't know if I'm going to know the fucking answer. There's all these things.
So I think that we need to practice today. Oh, well, let's do a little practice round.
Do we have to do that?

Speaker 1 Let's do a practice round. Yeah.
Okay, ready? All right, here we go. Nate.
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 2 We have the Lee family and the Santino family here.

Speaker 1 Okay. Steve? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sounds like Steve.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 So name a TV show that you both have guests on.

Speaker 1 Bobby.

Speaker 1 The league.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Andrew? Wait, is this then it's just my turn? To see who he goes.

Speaker 1 Oh, curb your enthusiasm.

Speaker 1 All right. Andrew.
Yeah. He got no.
What the fuck?

Speaker 2 Oh, I got to hire a TV show that you both have starred on.

Speaker 1 Oh, same question. Same category.
Oh,

Speaker 1 we both have starred on. That's what it's saying.
We have? Five? Not at the same time. I know, but we have.
Yeah. Whoa.
Whoa. Thank God.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Thank God this isn't in the thing.
Whoa, this is hard. All right.
How many seconds does he get? Ten? This is yours.

Speaker 1 He just.

Speaker 1 Go. Oh, it's my turn? Yeah.
Oh, it's Aaron. You don't know either.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 So it's back to me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We both start in.

Speaker 1 You never did The Office, right? Fuck.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're done. You didn't do The Office, right? No.
No. Okay, go.
All right. Can I, what's that show with Esther and Benji Alfarlo?

Speaker 1 You can't ask. That's illegal.
You can't ask.

Speaker 1 Three. One together.

Speaker 1 One together. Together, one.

Speaker 1 Alone together. Alone together.
I got it.

Speaker 8 Do you want to see the answers?

Speaker 1 Yes. So we're out? I got it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, you're 40 points. You'll have 40 points.

Speaker 1 Okay, I got 40 points. Let's see.
Oh, my God, this game. We're going to get fucking tremendous.

Speaker 1 We're fucked. No, it's not going to be about.

Speaker 1 I thought you were going to do questions that they would ask on Family Feud. We both did Family Guy.
Oh, we did Family Guy. Yeah, what else? You guys were both on Alone Teude.
That's the one.

Speaker 1 That was the one.

Speaker 1 And you guys were both on a rested adventure. Oh, yeah.
How did we not know that? I don't know. We don't even know us.
We're going to be. We don't know ourselves.

Speaker 1 We work so much. We work so much.
All right.

Speaker 1 So, wow we did five shows together yeah and that's really bad that we didn't we didn't know that all right we're fucked yeah we're fucked up okay go give me another one let's go let's ask name rudy's favorite food bobby no it's him thank you fucking steve

Speaker 1 uh uh uh

Speaker 1 uh jolly b

Speaker 1 okay bobby fuck that's that low balut

Speaker 1 okay bobby that's what i was gonna say but i thought that's not real yeah she actually likes likes Jollibee the most. I know.
I know. I know.
I know. All right.
All right.

Speaker 1 No, let your mustache kind of drip off, and I think it's funnier if it's halfway up. So, who's next? You, you're up because you got it higher than me.
Pog Pog.

Speaker 1 Nope.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 It's got to be something funny at this point. It's got to be like

Speaker 1 poop.

Speaker 1 Nope. I got it.
What?

Speaker 1 Taco Bell.

Speaker 1 No. We're all wrong.
All right. So, what is it?

Speaker 1 So rotten fish, yeah.

Speaker 1 I said poop and a bat. Yeah, fuck.
Who made these answers? She did. Rudy did.
They were submitted.

Speaker 8 Are we giving the points to anyone on this round?

Speaker 1 I got it.

Speaker 1 Balloon. Bobby got 35.
I got 35. I got 15.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Name five sailors,

Speaker 1 dude.

Speaker 1 Andrew.

Speaker 1 A cute little girl where it went in and a cute little girl.

Speaker 1 I actually don't know any of the names of the songs.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 I can show you Impossible.

Speaker 1 Dude, I mean, this is crazy. I don't know any of the names of the songs.
I've heard them before. Change Change, is that one? Oh, yeah, Change Change.

Speaker 1 No. Okay.
How about

Speaker 2 I'm sorry, I put something that, you know, younger people like.

Speaker 1 Well, dude,

Speaker 1 let's move on.

Speaker 1 No, we can't. Let's move on.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's just give him the cards. Give me the cards.
Just give him the cards. We'll play the real game.

Speaker 2 We're gonna play the real game.

Speaker 1 Let's do it. But

Speaker 1 we're not doing points now anymore. Yeah, I'm way ahead.

Speaker 2 You won the round of like no knowing bad friends, but now this goes to general good.

Speaker 1 This is what we need. This is what you need.
This is how we prepare. Yeah.
Yeah. All right, here we go.
Let's see this. This is the real life questions.
Let's do it.

Speaker 2 Name something you might find in an ambulance.

Speaker 1 Andrew. An EMT.

Speaker 1 stethoscope

Speaker 1 what so it's me again yep

Speaker 1 a a fucking person ding ding ding ding ding yeah on a fucking stretcher

Speaker 1 stretcher okay a paradigm a paramedic i said that i said emt no i already said that that's an emt

Speaker 1 is a paramedic oh wait so i win that so i get what do i do now you i mean i guess that's now i get to guess my second guess yes

Speaker 2 nine points you have oh my god and one more answer okay Okay, so name something inside.

Speaker 1 Read the question because I'm the next guest.

Speaker 2 Name something you might find in an ambulance.

Speaker 1 Heart monitors. Those fucking jumper cables.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 A driver.

Speaker 2 So it is oxygen is the number one answer.

Speaker 1 Where the fuck is this from? Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is Harvey's.

Speaker 2 This is Harvey's.

Speaker 1 In Bangladesh. Yeah.
This is Family Feud, Bangladesh.

Speaker 1 Family Feud, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 This does not sound good. Next one.
Next one.

Speaker 1 Next one. That doesn't even make sense.

Speaker 1 Oxygen is everywhere. I know.

Speaker 1 What kind of shitty game is this? I know.

Speaker 2 Okay. Name a professional who blows a whistle.

Speaker 1 Referee. Andrew Yeah.

Speaker 1 God. Huh?

Speaker 8 Number two answer.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Wanna try, Bobby?

Speaker 1 Yeah, lifeguard.

Speaker 8 Number three answer.

Speaker 1 So it's still me. Okay.
And I get those points. Okay.

Speaker 1 That's how the game works. You know that, right? On the show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine.

Speaker 1 A dog trainer.

Speaker 1 That's a great fucking guess. Yep.
Good answer. That's where you go.
Good answer. Good answer.
Good answer. Good answer.
All right, you're up. That was funny.
That was great.

Speaker 2 You have to play the game. Yeah.
Too much pressure.

Speaker 1 Oh, I know.

Speaker 1 Victim.

Speaker 2 Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Great.
Great answer.

Speaker 1 That's not a dark.

Speaker 1 They use whistles, though. Yeah, I know.
Okay, yeah. If I said that on Family Few,

Speaker 1 would that get in trouble? I don't think we should say it.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 just a wild guess. All right,

Speaker 1 we can't even say it on the unarched victim. Oh, yeah, an assault victim.
That sounds better. Okay, someone being assaulted.
That's not on it. No, it's still wrong.

Speaker 1 Okay. Professional.

Speaker 2 Read the question one more time, please. Name a professional who blows a whistle.

Speaker 1 The head, the head drag queen at the

Speaker 1 on the floats.

Speaker 1 No? I know, I know.

Speaker 1 A high school coach.

Speaker 1 Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. A coach doesn't have a fucking whistle.
You're saying during practice? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's for it.
All right.

Speaker 1 It's on there, dude. It's bad.

Speaker 2 Okay, so the first answer is a police or a traffic cop. That's good.

Speaker 1 Police don't ever have whistles. I've never heard of that before.
Maybe in New York. Cops don't have whistles.
Maybe a traffic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but do they even exist anymore? Yeah, anyway. Move on.

Speaker 1 That's it. That's it.
Okay, so

Speaker 1 we just got some. We did okay.
Okay, let's really focus. Let's go, let's go.

Speaker 2 No matter how hard it tries, name an animal a snake could never swallow.

Speaker 1 A bear.

Speaker 1 Elephant. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, number one.

Speaker 1 Fuck yeah! I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 That was too much. You gotta keep going.
Yeah, giraffe.

Speaker 1 A lion.

Speaker 1 A hippopotamus. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Speaker 8 Number five answer.

Speaker 1 A

Speaker 1 alligator.

Speaker 1 A horse.

Speaker 8 Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, number two, answer.

Speaker 1 So we got them all. I got one and two.
Yeah, you guys. Number four?

Speaker 1 We are missing one. Oh, we're missing one.
Oh, so you're up again. Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 A dog?

Speaker 1 No, they can eat a dog.

Speaker 1 They can eat a dog. A Chihuahua, maybe.
Of course. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, your dog, your cats, too, could get to.

Speaker 2 A cow was the fifth out answer.

Speaker 1 All right, okay. So we got two of two.
We got four. We got four.
Together, we got four out of cows. Okay, that's good.
All right. You know what? Honestly, this is helping me.
No, it is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because now I go. Maybe I can answer some.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Make something made of feathers.

Speaker 1 Andrew. A headdress.

Speaker 1 A hat.

Speaker 1 That would work. That would work.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Go ahead.

Speaker 1 A coat. I guess so.
What is it?

Speaker 2 Feather duster.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's it. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I got one. Bird.

Speaker 1 He's not made of feather? I couldn't agree with that more. He's definitely made of feathers.
That's where it comes from. That's a great answer, Bobby.
Oh, that's Steve Harvey.

Speaker 1 Oh, that was Steve Harvey. Very good, very good.
So bad, dude.

Speaker 1 Made of feathers.

Speaker 1 A rug?

Speaker 1 I got it.

Speaker 1 Pillow.

Speaker 3 Ding-di-ding, number one. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Duvet cover.

Speaker 2 Duvet. No, but mattress, yeah.

Speaker 1 Blanket.

Speaker 1 Number five answer. All right, we got it.
We're doing good. We're doing good.

Speaker 1 We're doing good. You know what? I'm very happy you're on my team.
You and I are going to do it. We're going to do well.
We're going to do well. Here we go.

Speaker 2 Give me another name that kids use for father.

Speaker 1 Andrew. Daddy.
Yes. Or dad.

Speaker 2 Number two answer. And one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dad, daddy. Dad, and daddy.
Papa.

Speaker 8 Number three answer.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, number four.

Speaker 1 Pa.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Pops. Good.
That's totally different.

Speaker 1 Neither worst Steve Harvey ever. You said Pa.
He said, yeah, Pops. Two different words.
Not even spelled pops.

Speaker 1 No, you said paw. I said paw.
You said paw. I saw it.
We can rewind the tape. No, I'm on.
I said pop. I know what you said.

Speaker 2 You said paw.

Speaker 1 I watched you do it. You went, paw.
There was no P at the end. All right,

Speaker 1 I know I'm right. You're right.
You're right. You're right.

Speaker 1 I cheat a lot. I'm a cheat.
Well, this game is on TV.

Speaker 1 They're going to know. Well, I'm going to do that in front of you.
You have to. Yeah, yeah.
And I'll defend you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I said it. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 Then you say, you know what you say after that?

Speaker 1 Steve,

Speaker 1 he's straight from Korea. Yeah, what do you want with me? We just got it.

Speaker 1 P's are hard for them. Yeah.
Popa, papa.

Speaker 1 All right, let's hear. What's the next one?

Speaker 2 Okay, name something that ends with the word code.

Speaker 1 Security. Yes.
Number four answer. Pass.

Speaker 1 Pass code isn't on there? Yeah. Jesus.
Go ahead. You're up.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Guy code.

Speaker 1 These are all legitimately good answers.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they're all great answers.

Speaker 1 This is the problem with the show sometimes. You'll have good answers and it won't be on there.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh. Bro code.

Speaker 1 I know that's not. No, I know.
Pay code. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Code. ENCODE.
ENCODE. What is it? Area code.
Fuck. Oh, fuck.

Speaker 2 Zip code.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 Morse code. Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. We lost.
Barcode. Let me tell you something.
We lost. We're going to get cooked on Saturday.
Just as long as the code thing's not there. Yeah.
Yeah. Forget the code.
That was the thing.

Speaker 1 Man, I hope that. Because when they said it, I'm like, why? Yeah, of course.
It's hard. How do you train your mind to know these things? Well, we have to do it again.
Let's go. Let's get that.

Speaker 1 Let's train our minds to get there.

Speaker 1 We got to get there.

Speaker 2 Kids can wait for Christmas.

Speaker 1 Wait, say it again?

Speaker 2 Kids can wait for Christmas.

Speaker 1 You do know Steve will be hard to understand as well.

Speaker 1 He's doing this because Steve is hard to understand. And I mean that.
I watch the show every night. You know this, right? Yeah.
Every night I watch the show. Yeah.
I watch this, then America says.

Speaker 1 Kids can't.

Speaker 2 I can understand.

Speaker 1 Sometimes he just waits. So what's it is?

Speaker 2 Kids can wait for Christmas.

Speaker 1 What kind of adults? Oh, that's a hit. No, you have to.

Speaker 1 Now you have to guess. Presents.

Speaker 2 What can adults wait for?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 It's my turn. You already guessed

Speaker 1 What can't adults wait for yeah

Speaker 1 Saturday the weekend

Speaker 1 I got it what I got it the weekend's not

Speaker 1 I got it I got it Friday

Speaker 1 No, it's obviously not a day if I if yeah, no people wait when they're working

Speaker 1 you said weekend. Yeah, the weekend people can't wait for the weekend.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, okay, something similar, but bigger. Okay,

Speaker 1 people can't wait for summer. Adults can't wait for the summer.

Speaker 9 Vacation.

Speaker 1 Don't talk.

Speaker 6 That's not the same oldest thing vacation next.

Speaker 2 I I mean, I read your mind and said, yes, vacation.

Speaker 1 He knew that you were going to say. What? Vacation.
You got it. Okay, vacation.
What else can I wait?

Speaker 1 What can adults not wait for?

Speaker 1 Adults can't wait for what? I know, I got it.

Speaker 1 The kids to move out of the house. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No. How is that not on there?

Speaker 1 That sex cruise they've been wanting to take. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Speaker 1 No. No,

Speaker 1 go ahead, buddy.

Speaker 2 But number one is paycheck

Speaker 1 and then then school to start, which you guys can. That's kind of what he said.
He's kind of Bobby said when they get out of the fucking bedtime, which is also kind of the same.

Speaker 1 And the day after Christmas. God, I hate these questions.
I hope these aren't out of the way. Oh my God, we're the fuck.
But if they are, how great? One more, one more. Let's go.
Come on. Okay.

Speaker 2 Name something people buy by the roll.

Speaker 1 Toilet. Paper.

Speaker 1 Paper towels. Number two answer.

Speaker 1 Quarters.

Speaker 1 Roll of quarters.

Speaker 2 Lee family.

Speaker 2 Bread.

Speaker 1 Buy the roll. Yeah, by the roll.
Roll of bread.

Speaker 1 I'm going to do that on the bottom.

Speaker 1 Dude, you know I'm going to fight for you. Honestly, dude? Yeah.
What you just did there, dude, forever makes us compadres for life, dude. You're my best friend.
Dude, you're a liar like me.

Speaker 1 Hey, Steve, for the roll, roll of bread. Tell me it's not a roll of bread.
You've never done a Jewish deli? It's a roll of bread, bud. Yeah.
Swiss rolls, Swissmiss rolls. What do you buy in rolls?

Speaker 1 Carpet. Carpet? No.
Film? Rugs. Film.
Oh, film.

Speaker 1 That's three. A five? Yep.
Yep.

Speaker 8 That was the number three answer.

Speaker 1 How about

Speaker 1 should we cancel? Yeah. We should cancel.

Speaker 2 So tape and stamps.

Speaker 1 No, okay. Tape, yes, but stamps can fuck up.
Stamps gun can fuck up. That's not right.

Speaker 1 Who buys stamps? I don't buy stamps. I haven't mailed anything ever.
All right, let's go. Next, the last one is that, and then we'll do the Vega.
By the way,

Speaker 1 you buy, you buy, hold on. You buy stamps in sheets now.
They are sheets of stamps. Yeah.
So fuck off. Go to the next one because I heard the question.
Here we go.

Speaker 2 Go to another one. Name a pizza topping.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Some people think it's yucky.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. Pineapple.

Speaker 1 Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Number an answer.
Number two answer.

Speaker 1 Olives. Black olives.

Speaker 1 My turn? Anchovies. Number one answer.
Okay, two. Two.
Oh, it's my turn? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Green pepper. It's delicious.

Speaker 1 Fuck. Bacon?

Speaker 1 I got it. Jalapeno.

Speaker 1 I know. I like all these, by the way.
Me too.

Speaker 1 I know what it is. How about

Speaker 1 I think I know what it is? How about

Speaker 1 me? Yeah. Mushroom.

Speaker 2 Yes, two points.

Speaker 1 Two points. So now we have mushroom, anchovy, and pineapple.

Speaker 2 And then the other two are ham and sardines.

Speaker 1 I've never seen a sardine on a pizza.

Speaker 1 Because people

Speaker 1 do one more because I'm mad.

Speaker 1 I'm mad. I'm mad.
Let's Let's go. Come on more.
I'm mad at people. We have to.

Speaker 2 Tell me something. People think needs saving.

Speaker 1 Money.

Speaker 8 Number one answer.

Speaker 1 People need. People need saving.

Speaker 1 It's soul saving. People, but that's the same thing.

Speaker 2 I get that.

Speaker 1 I don't know that that's going to be on there. No, that's not.
If you said people, I don't think they're going to go. It's soul.
Yeah, but

Speaker 1 because it's

Speaker 1 worded so bad. Animals.
Yes. Okay.
We have three.

Speaker 8 One more.

Speaker 1 It's only out of four? Yep. Yeah.
I know.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Go ahead. Oh, it's my turn anyway.
Environment. The world.
Yeah, the world.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, we would. Okay,

Speaker 1 here's the other problem. What's the problem? We have three other people with us besides you and me.
Oh, no. Yeah, we're going to have to sneak them answers.
No, I think Esther knows.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I really, I don't know.
You're going to call her now? I have to call her.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Because let's see.

Speaker 1 I'm going to call Gene. I'm going to call Gene.
Hold Hold on, let me call.

Speaker 2 Let me give you a couple questions and you ask them and see.

Speaker 1 No, the ones that we've already done.

Speaker 1 Hi.

Speaker 1 Hi, how are you? Good. Hey, listen, I have you on Bad Friends.
It's not bad. I just want to, we're playing Family Feud.

Speaker 1 We're prepping. Bobby and I are prepping for this weekend.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Well, are you available to do it Saturday? Because you're.
You're on the team. Yeah, I know.
Okay, because you're healthy enough?

Speaker 10 Yes, I'm healthy. I had a vaginal birth.

Speaker 1 i'm good hey honestly and we're happy for you but don't don't bring the fucking baby don't bring the fucking baby yeah okay i don't ever say vaginal don't even say that say it's say it plopped out or yeah fell out okay have you been training have you been training dave explained the show to me last night and he was very upset that i

Speaker 1 oh oh god make it be quiet

Speaker 10 um

Speaker 10 yeah i'm i definitely think dave and i decided last night i should be last for whatever like i should be the last one.

Speaker 1 You're not. If anybody wants to, Gene Hong's last.
Gene Hong's going to be last.

Speaker 10 But Gene is smarter than everybody.

Speaker 1 That's why

Speaker 1 we need a good anchor. Yeah, he's a good anchor.
We want you. You're kind of like the coal car, right? You know what I mean? You're, you're, yeah, we get a little bit of coal from you.
All right.

Speaker 1 Hey, we need it. We need to prep you real fast.
Okay. Are you ready? We're, you, yeah.
Yeah. You got to get these.
We asked 100 people.

Speaker 1 Top five answers on the board.

Speaker 1 Name a pizza topping. That's name a pizza topping that some people think is yucky Asta

Speaker 2 Asta, come on okay pineapple Bing

Speaker 1 okay, what else keep going?

Speaker 10 Oh um a pizza uh I don't like sausage, but no, people like that

Speaker 1 Your internal dialogue, don't say it out loud, yeah, don't say it out loud on the show when we do the show, you can't do that

Speaker 1 Okay, no anchovies

Speaker 1 okay two answers come on baby three more

Speaker 10 onion no

Speaker 1 One more wrong answer, and then we, and then that's it.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 don't, don't lose us the game. Please don't lose us the game.

Speaker 10 Canadian bacon.

Speaker 1 That's it. That's it.
That's it. That would be on it.
Okay, that's great. And we didn't even guess that.
That's great. Because she is, she's, she thinks differently.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think she's like a little person. She is.
She's an LP. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Little people think differently. Two more, Esther.
Come on, baby. You got this.

Speaker 10 Oh, two more of that category?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, baby. She's not going to get it.

Speaker 10 Oh, my God.

Speaker 10 Pizza topping that people don't like.

Speaker 1 Uh,

Speaker 10 my mom's nodding to me that it's so easy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, then what does she say?

Speaker 10 Mom, what's a pizza topping people don't like?

Speaker 1 This is a family feud rehearsal: mushrooms, yes, yes, okay, one more, one more. She's never gonna get that.
That last one is bullshit.

Speaker 10 Can your mom just texted me anchovies, but I said that already, Carlo.

Speaker 1 Okay, think this. There's Carlos.

Speaker 1 What are you doing? Oh, my God. What? Now, Bobby's pissed off.

Speaker 10 I don't know. I'm scared what I do.

Speaker 1 Can your mom come play?

Speaker 10 She's gonna be in the audience. All right, I

Speaker 1 didn't

Speaker 1 not to say it. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 All right, we love you. I can't wait to see you this weekend.
Bring the baby. I'll put, I'll carry it out on camera.

Speaker 10 I have to stay home for Dave to breastfeed.

Speaker 1 Okay, love you guys.

Speaker 2 Which races did Bobby's dad respect the least?

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 1 Vietnamese.

Speaker 1 You don't know my dad then? Yeah, this is. you absolutely.

Speaker 2 We ask a hundred people.

Speaker 1 They asked a hundred people. They picked up.
They don't know my dad. My dad hates the Vietnamese.

Speaker 3 Chinese.

Speaker 1 Fuck you guys. Fuck you, dude.
Black people.

Speaker 1 Okay, I knew where they were doing this. I know what you're doing.
Okay. African-American.
Japanese, obviously. Oh, I know.
I know one. I know one then.
Oh, it's based on my jokes. Yeah.
Snake.

Speaker 1 So we just wrote your jokes? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're just reading off one of your jokes.
Yeah, I understand up joke ones like this. All right, go ahead.
Um, cockroach.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 I don't know because this isn't funny. Yeah, that's next one.
Get a real one that you don't know. Do you want to know the other answers? No, I don't even want to know.
It's going to make me mad.

Speaker 1 Monkey. Monkey.
White.

Speaker 1 Mexican.

Speaker 1 Go back to the deck, dude. Go back to the deck, dude.

Speaker 2 Name a notable alumni from Powwe High School.

Speaker 1 Bobby. Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Bobby Lee.

Speaker 1 Charlie Hoffman.

Speaker 8 Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Speaker 9 That's number four. Wow.

Speaker 1 Darshan Upehaida?

Speaker 2 Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, that's number one.

Speaker 1 Tom DeLong.

Speaker 9 Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, that's number two.

Speaker 1 Drew Walrus.

Speaker 9 Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, that's number three.

Speaker 1 Tyler Nevin.

Speaker 9 Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, that's number five.

Speaker 1 Anisha Nicole. That's number six.
I got

Speaker 9 according to their official website.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah, wow.

Speaker 1 I can't believe I won. Wow, wow.
And by the way, love Tyler Nevin stuff.

Speaker 1 He's great.

Speaker 1 Do you even know who that is? No. I don't know any of them.
Tyler Nevin is a baseball player.

Speaker 1 Anisha Nicole is an R B and hip-hop singer.

Speaker 3 Did he really go there? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Charlie Hoffman, by the way, I know very well, PGA tour professional.

Speaker 1 Drew Walrus is is a linebacker for the St. Louis Rams.
Tom DeLongblink 182, and Darshan. Is Tom on this now? Yeah.
No, he made it to the.

Speaker 1 I mean, this is just Wikipedia. Oh, but he didn't make it to the extra la.
None of these other guys are on the alum. This is on the Wikipedia page.
Oh, okay. I'm on it too, no? And Darshan

Speaker 1 Upadhaya is a League of Legends professional player. Wow.
Darshan Upahat.

Speaker 1 Can we just do one more from the box and then we'll go? One more about the box and we'll just do something.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's fine.

Speaker 1 All right, ready?

Speaker 2 What's the most important quality quality an employee could have?

Speaker 2 Andre.

Speaker 1 Being punctual, being on time.

Speaker 2 Number one.

Speaker 1 Working hard.

Speaker 2 That's not a requirement. Okay.

Speaker 1 I got

Speaker 1 honest.

Speaker 8 Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Number two.

Speaker 1 Okay, we got one and two.

Speaker 1 Friendly.

Speaker 1 Okay, politing being polite. Yeah, that's good.
That's a requirement. See, that's interesting.
I would disagree, but I get it. Okay.
Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Works well with others.

Speaker 1 It's kind of polite, right? Yeah. That's the problem.

Speaker 1 But that's the problem because it's so vague. It's so vague.
Read the question again because we have three.

Speaker 2 What's the most important quality an employee could have?

Speaker 1 See, it's most important.

Speaker 1 I know one. What? Experience.

Speaker 1 Punctuality. Politeness.

Speaker 2 Would you have hired anyone in the world?

Speaker 1 None of these guys. That's right.
Yeah, embodied. Hey, Steve, none of these guys would make it.

Speaker 1 Read it one one more time. Go and then I'll get it.

Speaker 2 What's the most important quality an employee could have?

Speaker 1 Respect.

Speaker 1 Loyalty. Yeah, loyalty, respect.

Speaker 2 And that's it. Dependability.

Speaker 1 Dependability. Wow.
Okay, one more. We do need to do one more.

Speaker 1 I need to feel it. Yeah, me too.

Speaker 2 Name and occupation Sylvester Stallon would be perfect for if he wasn't an actor.

Speaker 1 Boxer.

Speaker 3 Number two.

Speaker 1 What's number one?

Speaker 1 Police officer.

Speaker 2 Okay, a security guard.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, we'll take that. Yeah, we'll take that.
What number is that?

Speaker 2 That's three.

Speaker 1 Okay, Sylvester Stallone, if he wasn't.

Speaker 1 And it's my turn again. I got above you.
My number was above you, right? I was two.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then I. Okay, okay.
Yeah, because I was two. You're right, you're right, you're right.

Speaker 1 In the fucking military?

Speaker 1 Bouncer.

Speaker 1 Oh, good, good, good, good, good. Yeah.
What else? Come on. Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 This is the problem. Once you get it, you got to come up with other ones.
Yeah. Oh, that's the problem.
That's the hard thing, because then you have to think while other people are guessing.

Speaker 1 A wrestler.

Speaker 1 It's a good guess. Thank you.
Football player?

Speaker 2 It says bodybuilder and fitness trainer.

Speaker 1 Those are the same.

Speaker 1 Steve, bodybuilder and fitness trainer are too close to each other. Every bodybuilder is probably a fitness trainer at one point in their life.

Speaker 2 Could be, could be.

Speaker 1 But the body is. It's like the sun is a star.

Speaker 1 This is going to be tough. Yeah, we're going to get fucking cooked.
No, but it's not that we're going to get cooked. It's just anyone would get cooked.
Yeah, who are we going up against, by the way?

Speaker 1 I hope, like, it's like... We don't even know.

Speaker 1 You know what show? Love on the Spectrum. I would love to go against that.
Really?

Speaker 1 They would destroy us. I think they would, yeah.
They would destroy us. Well, it's just not math.
Kids with autism would fucking murder us. What's 4036 divided by seven? You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Then they would do it. 47.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they would kill us.

Speaker 1 Anybody from Love on the Spectrum would murder us. You're right.
Yeah, you're right. They have folk.

Speaker 2 Okay, last one. With this one, we close the show.
Name a musical instrument you really can stand to listen to

Speaker 1 andrew i know oh drum drums drums

Speaker 1 see this is this is the problem hold on this is the problem with this these questions and this does this on the show sometimes

Speaker 1 can't

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Speaker 1 And to listen to. Drums are fucking great.
This is my issue. The question should be phrased.

Speaker 1 Name a musical instrument if your neighbor was playing in the middle of the night would make you mad. Yeah, move on to the next question.
Just one more.

Speaker 1 Am I right, though? The question's phrased wrong. Next card, next card.
One more card. Let's go.
Let's go. Next card.

Speaker 2 Name something you pour on top of food.

Speaker 1 Chocolate.

Speaker 1 I got it. Pour gravy.

Speaker 1 Gravy, that's it. Number one answer.
Salt.

Speaker 1 You pour.

Speaker 2 You don't pour salt.

Speaker 1 Sure, you do. You pour it.
I got it. Dressing.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 How the fuck is that not on there?

Speaker 2 Because it's more specific than that.

Speaker 1 That's too generic. Italian dressing.

Speaker 1 You fucking. Ranch.
Ketchup. Deaning number two answer.
Ranch. Mustard.

Speaker 1 Mayonnaise.

Speaker 2 You guys run out of up.

Speaker 1 Toothpaste.

Speaker 2 Syrup, cheese, hot sauce.

Speaker 1 Fight away.

Speaker 1 You pour dressing. It's cheese.

Speaker 1 What kind of fat fuck? You're not pouring a lot of cheese.

Speaker 1 Yeah. How often are you pouring cheese ever? Oh, everyone eats queso? Yeah, no.
And they're not pouring it all over their steak? Oh, is he going to eat? It's bullshit. Let's move on.

Speaker 1 I don't get a fuck. Fuck, we'll lose.
We'll lose. It's fine.
It doesn't even matter. You know what? We're going to lose, and that's fine.
It has nothing to do with your brain. SeatGeek.

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Speaker 1 last night you told a couple days ago you said to watch um dream scenario yeah with him on hbo and anyone any bad friends fans dude you gotta watch this movie it's incredible it's incredible

Speaker 1 but i was thinking about his career and i'm just so like look what he's done i know lord of war but what he did was you know he disappeared for because he did a movie called um that christian movie that it was one of the worst movies ever made what was it called it was called he's a pilot yeah he's a pilot it's one of the worst movies ever made.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 What is

Speaker 1 Left Alone? He didn't move Left Alone. And Left Alone got.
I'm going to show you Left Alone on the. He can look it up up there.
Yeah, what did he get on Rotten Tomatoes?

Speaker 1 What a career he's had. He's incredible.
But he had that. So he had that time.

Speaker 2 He had his to be a movie star, like an action hero, and he won an Oscar in order to become an action hero, which is kind of insane.

Speaker 1 Can't do that these days. But there was a gap through a decade where he was doing small movies, independent movies.
I think Mandy is what kind of like when

Speaker 1 turned people's heads like, hmm, interesting. God, he must be doing like,

Speaker 1 back then, he must be doing three films a year.

Speaker 1 River Valley girl?

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Look at the amount of work he's done. This guy.
How could you do that much?

Speaker 2 He loves it so much. He goes from set to set.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, I get it. If you have the opportunity, I understand it.
But also, how overwhelming. Yeah.
Where is life? That's what gets scary to me. Where is life?

Speaker 1 When you're so inundated with so much work. I think about that with my buddy, our pal.
Oh, by the way, Moonstruck. What a good movie.
Great movie, dude. Oh, my God.
Oh, it could happen to you.

Speaker 1 It could happen to you. It was great.
Adaptation was phenomenal.

Speaker 1 You can name so many of these movies. Raising Arizona is still my favorite.

Speaker 1 And by the way, don't get me started on Go Down a Little Bit. Don't get me started on Ant Bully.
I mean,

Speaker 1 what is that? I don't know. Dude, this guy's been in so many movies.
He's in so many movies that some of them sound like they made them up and put them in there to see if you'd notice. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't know. Creek or Lake or something.
Yeah, Cricko Lake.

Speaker 1 This goes out there to everybody. This is not just reference to the film industry.
I'm talking about some of our fans out there, and I mean this.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say this to you, because I had a conversation with a friend of ours,

Speaker 1 a friend of our family. I can't say who.

Speaker 1 They're private.

Speaker 1 They were saying how they're feeling like they might be burning out a little bit, just like overworking. And they're not a comedian.
They just work in our industry.

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, you really have to take time because it's dangerous

Speaker 1 when you let yourself be a part of something and you don't get to do you a little bit.

Speaker 1 And she was like,

Speaker 1 haha, you know, trying my best, but I'm dragging myself around, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, I'm actually being serious.

Speaker 1 I'm like being genuine because I've learned if I don't do that, I get emotionally dark, deep down. Like I've taken this whole week of doing stand-up off.
Now that we're back, I feel great.

Speaker 1 You seem great. I get to walk to coffee in the morning with the dog.
I get an extra couple hours at home.

Speaker 1 Like it just feels nice to be able to like exercise, do the pod, take a break mentally, go to a nice dinner.

Speaker 1 I mean that for our fans too. You got to do things for you sometimes.
Yeah, I called you the other day. You were taking a walk with your wife.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's just nice to just like get the fuck out of your because sometimes if all you're doing is working. Like these, like our fans too.

Speaker 1 Some people are just working, working, working, working, working. If you don't take any time for you, I'm telling you, it's so bad for your brain.

Speaker 1 Were you just kidding the other day when you go, I wasn't going to do family food or no?

Speaker 1 I mean, I think it was yesterday. You go, you know what, bud? I'm not going to do it.
Yeah, I wanted to see your reaction. Why? Because if I gave you an out, you would have gotten an out.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. If you weren't excited for me to be there, I wouldn't have felt.

Speaker 1 Guy, guy, guy, I'm doing it for us. Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm doing it for us. I'm doing it for our family.

Speaker 1 But here's the thing.

Speaker 1 I called you to check you to see, I wonder if he really wants me to do it. And I said, because it's the Lee family, and I'm not a Lee.

Speaker 1 I love a Lee.

Speaker 1 There is a Lee that I love. You're a close to me like you are a family member.

Speaker 1 You're a brother to me. Well, then what are you talking about? It was an ego thing.
You know what I mean? I just wanted you to be. These are like third cousins.

Speaker 1 Cousins? Yeah, third. Yeah, like, I don't know them.
Macone is like a guy. McCone, to me, in my family network world

Speaker 1 is like an Amazon guy. You know, the guy that drops off.
It's like, it changes every week. I don't even know who he really is.

Speaker 1 You're like on ancestry.com. Like, you're related to him.

Speaker 1 I'm like, how?

Speaker 1 I would just kind of read and just kind of move on. I would ask them to change it.
I'd go, can you take that off? Yeah. And fancy to me, family-wise, is like somebody that married into my family.

Speaker 1 But like, we put up with him. Like, he comes to the family dinners.
Hey, do you want to play a papina game we do in Spain?

Speaker 1 And we're like, fuck, he's going to make us do like the dice game thing or something. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Your girlfriend's sister's new boyfriend is who you are. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Damon. Hey, I'm Charlie.
Yeah. Oh, Charlie.
That's you. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Charlie, you're not funny. Can I show you pictures on my phone of stuff that I like? No, get the fuck out of here, Charlie.
And who's Carlos?

Speaker 1 Oh, Carlos is like a lot.

Speaker 1 Dude, you're Kato Kalen.

Speaker 1 Doesn't Carlos have a Kato Kalen vibe? Dude, he is 100%. You're 100% Kato, Kato Kalen.
You're Kato Kalen, dude. Yeah.
He's randomly

Speaker 1 a guest house somewhere. Yeah, you just live in somebody's guesthouse.
By the way, Kato, great, great head of lettuce. Look at that guy's hair.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Speaking of which, what were we thinking putting fancy in a bald cap? We have a bald guy.

Speaker 1 What were we doing? We bought a bald cap.

Speaker 1 I mean, this is just mismanagement all the way around. Delegation is just bad here.
Kato's got a great head of lettuce. He used to come around and do stand-up, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we used to see him at the copper store a lot. He used to pop, you know who he used to do a lot? I'd see him at Jay Davis's shows.
Yeah. What was the name of that show on Melrose?

Speaker 1 He had that big room on Melrose. A parlor.
Parlor. Yeah, the parlor.
Yeah. Yeah.
He used to come around there. That room used to shake, man.
You could, that was a fun room.

Speaker 1 There were some fun rooms, some of those rooms back in the day. Yeah, beautiful people.
Alternative rooms. You never did Dublins, right?

Speaker 1 No, I think it was before my time. Because Dublin's was probably like in the early aughts, like 03 to 04, 05, right? Yeah, the greatest night.
I didn't get out to it.

Speaker 1 It was the greatest night of comedy. You guys don't know about that either.
Let's see this video. What is this?

Speaker 1 John, I'm pleased to confirm that the age of 100 years. Guinness World Records for this is their oldest man.
Oh, the oldest Brit. Oh, it's the world's oldest man.
All right.

Speaker 4 11 years, 222 years.

Speaker 1 111.

Speaker 4 You are the oldest man.

Speaker 1 You either live long, but he lives short, and he can't do much about it. I am 111 years old.
It's like his tongue doesn't work out. I can remember my first day at school.

Speaker 1 Pause it. So here's why I think we wanted to play this video.

Speaker 1 Steve on Saturday will be also hard to understand.

Speaker 1 So we're trying to see if you could say if you heard everything he said, it's going to be easy.

Speaker 1 Steve's sometimes tough to understand. Yeah.
Sometimes Steve, he runs through the questions real fast. Yeah.
So this, did you understand everything he said? No. Yeah, right.
I know.

Speaker 1 But I was more interested in, like, I guess when you get old, parts of your body die first.

Speaker 1 His tongue's been gone. Yeah, he is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that died probably

Speaker 1 12 years ago. Oh, at 12.
He's 111. That died when he was like 85.
85, yeah. Would you ever want to live to be 111 years old? But he seems cognitive.
More so than Joe Biden. And

Speaker 1 clear. I mean, seriously.
So he could still probably use an Oculus.

Speaker 1 You think he jerks off with the Apple Pro?

Speaker 1 But imagine what he's seen.

Speaker 1 Okay, 111. What year was he born? 100 years would be 1924, right?

Speaker 1 Minus 11.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 5 thanks, Andrew.

Speaker 1 You got it. Thank you.
I mean, that's embarrassing. I don't have my abacus.

Speaker 1 Do you even want to be 111?

Speaker 1 So he was born in 1910.

Speaker 1 So in 19.

Speaker 1 Well, no, okay. What?

Speaker 1 It's 2024. 100 years was 1924.
Minus 11. It was 24 or minus 11.
So

Speaker 1 he was born in 1914.

Speaker 1 1913.

Speaker 1 1913. Yeah.
He was born in 1913, right?

Speaker 1 Before

Speaker 1 cars, right? Wikipedia 1913. Planes.
When did planes happen? Before planes. No, no, no.
Yes, yes, this is before. Commercial flights.
Commercial flights, yes, of course.

Speaker 1 In 1913, go and zoom in. This is the first Balkan War.
Jesus Christ.

Speaker 3 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 Hold on, hold on, slow down. New York City's Grand Central Terminal was just rebuilt as the world's largest railroad station.

Speaker 1 The 16th Amendment to the United States Constitution was ratified, authorizing the federal government to impose and collect income taxes. Fuck me.
What a shit year.

Speaker 1 That's when they decided to start stealing our money again? Wait, so he's in high school during the Depression, probably.

Speaker 5 1929?

Speaker 1 No, he's, yeah, maybe just about. No, he's in middle school, right? Middle school.
Yeah. Yeah.
He can't eat lollipops. Zoom into this.
He is born.

Speaker 1 Go down. Let's see what else is going on during then.

Speaker 1 Hold on. Women's suffrage procession takes place in D.C.
Oh, these chicks are looking to vote. Woodrow Wilson was president when this guy picked up.
Insane. The Mexican Revolution.
Pancho Villa.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. What? Folklore.
Terrible year. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Scooped down. This is the year.
Zorro was probably around still. Still.
I think Godzilla was still around. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what the single was? What? Patty Cake.

Speaker 1 Patty Cake, Patty Cake. I don't know the word.
Baker's Man. Yeah, yeah.
Bake Me a Cake as Fast As You Can. What else? By the way, a little demanding for a child, don't you think?

Speaker 1 Bake Me a Cake as fast as you can.

Speaker 1 Wait, let's do the rest. Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man.
Bake me a cake as fast as you can. Roll it.
What?

Speaker 1 Roll it, toss it, put it up my ass.

Speaker 1 Throw me in the oven and bake me fast. Is that what it is?

Speaker 1 Oh, there's actually a bunch of fish. Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man.
Bake me a cake as fast as you can. Pat it and prick it and mark it with a B.
Put in the oven for baby and me.

Speaker 1 For baby and me, for baby and me. It's cum.

Speaker 1 Is that what it is? Yeah, this is the song about cum. Patty cake was about making, is is about sex, isn't it? Yes.
Wow. What's the B on there for Fancy B?

Speaker 1 So this guy lived through before he saw it all. Well, I don't know if he did.
I mean, who knows if he was paying attention? England in 1913.

Speaker 1 Uh-oh.

Speaker 3 Dude, look at it.

Speaker 1 Back then, we barely had beans on touch.

Speaker 1 That's them in the water with full clothes on. That's like, by the way, that's like a Los Angeles.
There was no bathing suits back then. That's like a Los Angeles beach today.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wow, look at that. Incredible.

Speaker 1 I saw the game. Do you ever go see Mexicans at the beach in LA? So they're in full clothes.
Mexicans will wear sneakers into the water.

Speaker 1 They will. Yeah, yeah.
What?

Speaker 1 Just look at that. Yeah, it looks like another world.
It's incredible. What a life.
1913. Yeah.
Those little British kids there. There's poop in the streets.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What would you say as a great-great-grandson to him? I'd be like, just, you can go. You got to go already.
Pepo, you got to go. Yeah.
Because I, so I can get the money.

Speaker 1 Can you, does he, that's the thing. If you live that long, there's no way you have money anymore.
He doesn't have fucking money. No, he retired, what, 60 years before that? Nobody plans.

Speaker 1 No one's retirement plan includes 111. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're done. You're done.
Your money's run out. His money probably ran out by the time he was like 88 or 90.
And then he was like, no, what?

Speaker 1 At 85, he was like, should he work again? You got to get another job.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That always breaks my heart.
When I see like an old person working somewhere, I'm like, when they're really old, I'm always like, what is going on?

Speaker 1 Like, that breaks my fucking heart. It breaks my heart.
Like, whenever I see, I donated a bunch of stuff to Goodwill, and that's probably volunteer work.

Speaker 1 But the woman out back was so old, and she was like, you want any help? And I was like, no, you can't carry all this shit. What is that?

Speaker 5 Senior citizens who are employed.

Speaker 1 Wow, California has the most. Who's surprised? How many?

Speaker 1 Four million? That's a lot. Yeah, you know why? This place is a fucking rip-off.
You have to work. This place sucks.
Let's get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 2 Five and over.

Speaker 1 Would you, would you.

Speaker 1 Would we move the show? Could we move the show if we wanted to move somewhere? Yeah, where? Atlanta?

Speaker 2 Europe.

Speaker 7 Both bad answers. Nowhere.

Speaker 1 Vegas? You want to go to Nevada? Save money on taxes? Because if you go to Vegas,

Speaker 1 then people...

Speaker 1 There's people out there. We can get Carrot Top, all kinds of people.
That's one.

Speaker 1 Right? Yeah, who else? Regan.

Speaker 1 Two. We can get Regan.
We can get Nicholas Cage. Three.
The magician, a friend of yours. Shin Lim.
Piff? Oh, Shin Lim. Yeah, yeah.
He lives here, doesn't he? No, Penn and Teller.

Speaker 1 They don't live there. Paulie? Paulie lives here now.
Yeah, Penn and Teller live there. We're all wrong.

Speaker 1 It doesn't matter. We can also fly people in if they're.

Speaker 1 Right? Yeah. It's Vegas.
We can fly people in. It's cheap from L.A.

Speaker 1 Okay. And number two, they're just so...

Speaker 1 Let's do it. Let's go.
Let's get out of here. All right.
Okay. You guys are all willing to move.

Speaker 5 Are we invited?

Speaker 1 You work for the company, yes. Well, you signed a blood contract.

Speaker 1 Well, hopefully, we do well on Family Feud.

Speaker 1 And I hope you guys watch. We'll let you know when it comes out.
And thank you for being a friend.

Speaker 8 We get a transition for the

Speaker 8 Family Feud game at one point because we go back and forth two times.

Speaker 1 We get one like, now, are you cutting this episode?

Speaker 1 I just don't know. Sit down.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Sometimes you don't know.

Speaker 1 Don't even laugh, dude.

Speaker 1 It's astounding.

Speaker 1 As if he's Steven Spielberg.

Speaker 1 Get out of here, dude. Dude.
Beat it. Beat it, dude.
Dude,

Speaker 1 you haven't done shit. The nerve of you is insane.

Speaker 1 Pure insanity, dude. Stay back there.
Stay back there, dude. Next thing you know, he's going to give us line readings.
How about this? How about this? Ready? Bob.

Speaker 1 Well, that was fun. Let's try it with the other cards.

Speaker 1 Is that the transition that you want? That's great.

Speaker 1 Give me another show. Give me a shot.
You do one. Well, that was interesting because thank you so much, Macone, for doing the one that's bad friends related.
Cool.

Speaker 1 But maybe we should go to the ones that are like traditionally the cards that you got at a gift store or whatever. That's a great idea.

Speaker 1 The good idea, right?

Speaker 9 Take it away, guys.

Speaker 1 Let's do it. You better fucking use that card.

Speaker 1 Where was that in drugstore, June? Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Go get him. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Go, go, fuck him up. Go fuck him up.
I'm dead serious. Go, Bobby.
Go fuck him up. No, I'm not going to.
I'm not going to. I'm not going to be able to manhandle.
No, here's the deal.

Speaker 1 You are a little cocksucker. Here's the deal.
That was, you know, I'll be honest with you. Piece of shit.

Speaker 1 It's the role.

Speaker 1 Don't defend it. Don't, don't, why? Why? Why do you have to even defend his comment?

Speaker 1 God, that was so good, though. It was pretty good.
It was, I'll tell you why. He knows.
He knows. It'll forever burn the screen.
Yeah, it's going to hit you. Yeah.
Like, he knows it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he needs to. He's like, this is going to completely separate us.
100%. Right.
There's no way going back. As if it wasn't bad before.
Yeah. Yeah.
I have to say this joke, though. Say it.
Right.

Speaker 1 So he says it, right? Knowing that it's he could get fired. Oh, yeah.
It's forever done. And yet he had the balls to say it.
And I appreciate you as a fucking warrior.