Coco The Side Piece

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Speaker 1 You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 2 You two are something. We're bad friends.
Alrighty, one, two, three. Welcome to another episode of Bad Friends.
I'm your captain, and this is my sidekick. No, no.
Andrew. No, no, no.

Speaker 2 This is my side guy. My side hustle.
No, no, no. Peace, my side piece.
No, I'm the side piece.

Speaker 2 First of all. You're never a side piece.
You're not even a part of the gang, right?

Speaker 2 Oh, you're a side chunk. You're not a square.

Speaker 2 You're a side chunk. That's a pretty big piece.

Speaker 2 That's a big piece. You are.

Speaker 2 You know, also, could I just say something, too?

Speaker 2 You're a little deceiving.

Speaker 2 No, I saw the last episode. I never lied.
I told you that I haven't done stand-up in five years. That's not what I'm talking about.
Oh. You know, when you make assumptions, somebody gets bit.
No.

Speaker 2 Is that a term? I just made that up. It's not the first.

Speaker 2 I think I've got a couple of phrases jumbled up there. But

Speaker 2 when it's not broke, fix it. But if you break it,

Speaker 2 anyway, listen, bud.

Speaker 2 I don't like being lied to i don't like being deceived i don't like um

Speaker 2 your rabble rousing

Speaker 2 that word i agree can we move on no no we can't move on until i address this issue okay what's your name no did esther tell you no okay what's your name greg no no no

Speaker 2 if you think we don't know okay we know What's your name? What do you I thought this was gonna be about Paulie? I know what it is. by By the way

Speaker 2 are you chewing gum and eating potato chips?

Speaker 2 I'm practicing being a father by the way. I had a dream where there was three babies and beanies and neon beanies running.
They were your babies. Stop.
Stop stop stop stop.

Speaker 2 I know what you're trying to do right now. It's not gonna work.

Speaker 2 We're gonna talk about this issue and then we're gonna move on, okay? Is it because I did Paulie's podcast? No, it has nothing.

Speaker 2 It has a little bit something to do with it. You can't do any other podcast, by that way.
But he promised me a pup cup if me and Buster behaved.

Speaker 2 All right, these little whimsical things you're doing right now,

Speaker 2 these cute things you're doing right now, usually it works with me. Because I think it's working a little bit now.
Because

Speaker 2 I want to kind of move on now. It's so cute.
But my point is, what's your name, friend? Greg. No, what is your legal name? Why would that be a problem? Okay.
Don't yell. Okay.
Oh, that's right.

Speaker 2 We're wearing microphones. Yeah, we're on microphones.
We're wearing microphones. Yeah.
Okay. We're strapped.
We're strapped, my dog.

Speaker 2 Oh, but why would that make you mad? What is your name? Because I don't like being lied to, that's all.

Speaker 2 Greg is my middle name and my ID. What's your first name, though, on your ID? Who did you get this from?

Speaker 2 Okay, sorry. Goop, goop.
Make this easier. Oh,

Speaker 2 does he know? We know.

Speaker 2 Am I going to prematurely give information?

Speaker 2 Can I tell you what it is?

Speaker 2 Okay. Is that the game we're playing? Okay.
Your name is Creekor. Creekor.
You know, Esther told you. Crekor.
Your name is Creekor. Cricor.
Which translates to Greg. No, it doesn't.

Speaker 2 And Coco comes from. Does it translate in space language? Fackey.
No.

Speaker 2 That's a Klingon name. Krikor is a Klingon name.
It translates to Fat Guy. First of all, it's Grigor, like Krikor Krikor.

Speaker 2 It's a masculine given name and a surname. Variants include Gregory, Gregor, Grigori, Gregori, and in Western American as Krikor or Krekor.

Speaker 2 Okay, at this point, now you know my first name, my middle name, my last name. You know all the schools I've been to.
My brother says, don't give out your social security number.

Speaker 2 And now everything anyone needs to change my passwords are pretty much on this podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 We don't want to go to your middle name right now or your last name. Okay, okay, you're doing your cute thing in it, and it's really for me because I kind of want to move on.

Speaker 2 But, um, no, let's stick to Creekor.

Speaker 2 No, thank you so much, friend. Yeah, what the so why don't you just go by Creek or

Speaker 2 I had 27 years to decide if I want to be Creekor. I decided I want to be Greg.
So we can drive down Glendale,

Speaker 2 you and I, and there's there could be somebody on the side of the street that going, Creek Or. I will walk by.

Speaker 2 What? I will just walk by. I know, but there are people out there

Speaker 2 that know you as Creeko. No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 No, they either know me as Coco or Greg.

Speaker 2 No one knows you as Cole. With a K.
No one knows you as Coco, dude. They do.
You've been trying that since day one.

Speaker 2 Trying to get Coco to stick. And it's not going to stick with me.
I'm never going to call you that.

Speaker 2 Who knows that?

Speaker 2 Who comes up with their own nickname? Family. I don't, honestly.
I thought today was going to be fun. I had a rough week.

Speaker 2 I keep getting chicken nuggets, chicken impossible nuggets stuck in my toaster, and then I got stuck under a weighted blanket.

Speaker 2 Okay, see what he's doing. Stop it.
Stop it. Stop it.

Speaker 2 Why are you putting nuggets in the toaster? Because you get them crispy.

Speaker 2 My fourth toaster this year. Do you have an oven? It's not plugged in.

Speaker 2 No, it's, I don't.

Speaker 2 The oven isn't plugged in? The oven. I'm not going to plug it in.

Speaker 2 Do you have an air fryer? I have an air fryer, but that's not plugged in either.

Speaker 2 It's so much fun fun putting chicken nuggets in the toaster, and then they pop up, and then you have to catch them, and then you have to get them out, but it smokes.

Speaker 2 And then you think, how long can I let it smoke?

Speaker 2 I might have you guys turn off his mic. No, yeah, I'm supposed to be a side piece.

Speaker 2 It's just.

Speaker 2 You're our side chicken nugget. Okay.
Okay. But first of all,

Speaker 2 plug in

Speaker 2 the oven. Plug in the air fryer.
Well, I can't plug it in. Do you not know how to do that?

Speaker 2 Unplug and plug. I know how to use a toaster.
But do you know how to plug and unplug thing? Yeah. You do.
So can you unplug your toaster and plug in the oven or whatever? Well, it's burnt.

Speaker 2 I need a new toaster, but yeah. Okay.
Buy this guy a new toaster, please. No.

Speaker 2 I will buy it. Yeah.
You buy it? Yeah. Well, listen up, Creekor.
No.

Speaker 2 Creek or no. Creek or

Speaker 2 more Creekan than Bobby.

Speaker 2 Creekor. I am Creekor.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sounds like from He-Man, doesn't it? It does.
It sounds like one of the characters. Skeletor's bitch.
No one knew this until

Speaker 2 it's me, Creekor.

Speaker 2 Let me say something, Creekor. Is that Creek or is that a famous Creek or yeah?

Speaker 2 Oh, there are other famous oh, he's chess.

Speaker 2 You're more checkers, huh?

Speaker 2 I know more checkers. I don't, I like,

Speaker 2 I like the he doesn't seem chess. When you say the fast food restaurant checkers, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, not the game. He doesn't know how to play that.

Speaker 2 I like board games. Yeah, yeah.
I like cards and games. You know, listen to vanity.
What games can you play?

Speaker 2 You know, perfection, but that's hard.

Speaker 2 I like, I don't know how to play checkers or chess. You don't? No.
Checkers either. No, I played poker, and they underestimated me, and I won.

Speaker 2 I tell you what game he doesn't know how to play is plug in the oven. Yeah.
That's a tough game for some reason.

Speaker 2 How are the chippies, bud? Yeah, Creek. I have twins this time.
Yeah, you do, bud. One's Asian.

Speaker 2 They're both Asian. So can we call you Cree Corps from now on? Oh, yeah.
But like, that's like the worst thing you could call me. Oh, I could think of something.
Oh, no. Then I'll meet you.

Speaker 2 I could think of a lot of things. But, like,

Speaker 2 I have some questions for Andrew afterwards because you guys are getting.

Speaker 2 This is your

Speaker 2 background check. We're going to move on.
So ask a lot. Awards.
No, ask now. You have questions for Andrew? Ask away, baby.
No, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 I'll ask after because honestly, I think you guys did a background check. No, we didn't.
No, we didn't. How did you know? Do you think we did a background? Look at the fucking employees we have.

Speaker 2 Do you think we did a background check? That's insane. This is

Speaker 2 a fucking illegal immigrant, an obvious cartel drug baby, and then a loser from the the Midwest who was like a hockey coach dropout. I mean, dude, we don't, we just pick up the scraps where they fall.

Speaker 2 Did we talk about his Long Beach performance yet to him?

Speaker 2 No, I don't think so. We haven't seen him since then, I don't think.
Okay, so

Speaker 2 that's another lie. Oh, wow.
No, I too. Let me talk.
Okay. May I? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Is this your show? No, I don't have a show. I know.
Yeah. Calm it down, calm it down.
I don't have a show. Scoopy.
Namaste. Come right down.
Yeah. Creek, creeky.
Creek, creek, creek, creepy. Creeky.

Speaker 2 Creek or corkery. Creek or McCorkery.
Creek or

Speaker 2 you guys. Sounds like a lawyer.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 another deception.

Speaker 2 Or that's Johnny Cochrane, I think. Shut up.
Shut up, man. Shut up.
Fuck.

Speaker 2 You had a full-blown panic attack. a week before Long Beach, begging us, please, I don't want to do it.
I'm going to fail. I haven't done it.

Speaker 2 All the excuses. And then

Speaker 2 you show up at the show. How many people are in the audience, you think? 3,000.

Speaker 2 3,000 people. And

Speaker 2 you walk up there and you pull out a fucking AK-40 stock.

Speaker 2 And you go,

Speaker 2 I mean, you,

Speaker 2 okay. I'm going to tell you, two minutes before you went up, he told me, hey, I think

Speaker 2 he shouldn't go up or he should only do a couple of jokes. I said, he looks a little too nervous.
Maybe we should restrict his time to make him feel comfortable.

Speaker 2 Just do him a couple minutes and tell him he can come right back. Right, Right, right.
Something like that. He was pacing.
Right. And I thought, I came to you.
Remember, I came to you.

Speaker 2 I go, me and Andrew had a talk. You should just say hi.

Speaker 2 Pretty much, right? And you went up there. You went,

Speaker 2 like, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you obliterated the room.
Did great. Yeah, so that's another lie.
Another lie. That wasn't a lie.
Shut up. Oh, so you had 10 minutes of jokes, of pure jokes.

Speaker 2 I timed six minutes, but not that night. First of all, you did 12.
No one did it. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I can't hear him. Yeah, he turned his mic off.
I like that.

Speaker 2 No. Turn his mic up a little bit.
It's fine. Turn it up.
But here, creaky, creepy. Creek.
Creek dog. I said I was going to die.
I didn't say I can't do stand-up. And that part was true.

Speaker 2 You weren't going to die. I was going to die.
And then when your agents and manager showed up, I forgot English. Oh, it's so, because also he treated.
This is so funny.

Speaker 2 Agents and manager are like his rock bands. They're my pen pal.
Like he knew by name,

Speaker 2 like what agency. It's so fucking weird.
He knew my, he knew my agent's name. He was like, Yeah, yeah.
That's your agent? Yeah, yeah. I was like, how would you know who that is?

Speaker 2 Yeah, you said the name. I write letters to them.
That's how you book them.

Speaker 2 What do you mean?

Speaker 2 You write letters to them and

Speaker 2 you mean an email. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You write an email. You hand-write a letter and then translate it to email.
Get their attention. That'd be funny if you get it.

Speaker 2 You email Noose and you say, hey, Noose, I'm interested in booking people for my show. Yeah.
It's actually very smart.

Speaker 2 Do you know my agents? Yeah. Who? Well, I thought Abby was Abe

Speaker 2 because I was just losing my mind, but then I found out it's Abby and it's,

Speaker 2 you know, but Matt Blake, he has two first names.

Speaker 2 Stop. Okay.

Speaker 2 He handles heavyweight.

Speaker 2 A, B, B, E. Yeah.
Abe. Abe.

Speaker 2 By the way, we're calling Abby Abe from here on.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You're Cre Corps and she's Abe.
Abe. Oh, my God.
And by the way, what a show that would be on Adult Swim. Cre Corps and Abe.

Speaker 2 Oh, it's Wanderlust. It's beautiful.
It's the precipice of happiness when you're around. I love it.
What are you showing me right now, Carlos? Goop at a premiere. Oh, no.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, you go to Hollywood.

Speaker 2 There he is. There he is.
Wow, truck store.

Speaker 2 Wait, push pause for a second.

Speaker 2 None of those people are in the movie. Polly's.

Speaker 2 None of those people are in the movie. Sandy Danto.

Speaker 2 How come I didn't get invited to this? Benji Arfalo. Who's the guy in the middle there? Is that Al? Polly.
Who? Polly. That's Polly.
None of them are in the movie.

Speaker 2 What are you doing on the red carpet? About drug torture. I told him I was literally, he told the lady running the carpet that I was on

Speaker 2 Love on the Spectrum, and she gently invited me on the red carpet.

Speaker 2 He said that to everyone we meet. Everyone we meet.

Speaker 2 Because he tells everyone I'm Chinese.

Speaker 2 Right? So it's the same thing. He says you have autism.

Speaker 2 Well, do you think you, but do you have autism? Did we say this? I started taking a test, and halfway through, my ADD kicked in, and it wasn't looking good, so I stopped.

Speaker 2 But I'm open to taking an autism test. We should put you, we should audio love.
You're autistic spectrum, yeah, because we want to find you love. We love you, and we want you to find love.

Speaker 2 You do, you don't want love, no, I don't want spectrums or scales, I want no limits.

Speaker 2 But what's your can I may I ask a question? We're gonna move on. I know, just let me ask him.
Let's get on, let's move on soon.

Speaker 2 I know, I know, I'm moving on. But let me, because it's piqued my curiosity.

Speaker 2 Can we write down what your perfect mate would be?

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're going to come up with an animal. No, I'm not.
Yeah. No, I'm asking you.
No, I will. You're going to come up with an animal? A kangaroo or something?

Speaker 2 Honestly. So give me a trait.
So

Speaker 2 age bracket, maybe.

Speaker 2 I'm writing it down. I'm not one of those people with an age bracket.
Jesus fucking Christ. Okay.
Oh, my God. Yeah, maybe this is an exercise for another time because I don't like exercises.

Speaker 2 Oh, um,

Speaker 2 sorry.

Speaker 2 it's uh, it's like red light and green light, red light, green light, age, age, uh,

Speaker 2 I don't know, like 25 to 35. I mean, give me an age bracket here, man.

Speaker 2 Your preference,

Speaker 2 okay. Uh,

Speaker 2 I, I don't, I, I, I, I don't want to,

Speaker 2 you're, you're getting on my last fucking nerve right now. Two slow people make a very slow person.
Uh, so, um,

Speaker 2 so I don't, I guess,

Speaker 2 25. 25.
25 onwards. Onwards.
Yeah. What's the age gap here? I mean, the limit, you think? 50?

Speaker 2 I don't want another mom. Okay, so let's go 25 to 40.

Speaker 2 35. Okay.
Okay, 25 to 30. No, what are these? Stop.

Speaker 2 We're moving on.

Speaker 2 What does this person do for an occupation? Would that be a preference for you?

Speaker 2 My friend's a lawyer, but I treat her like a regular person. A lawyer then.
No.

Speaker 2 Should we move on?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 All right. Let's talk about.
We'll find love next time.

Speaker 2 We'll get you a 27-year-old lawyer. Okay.
There's a lot of those roaming around. Yeah.
Anyway, welcome back to the show.

Speaker 2 Thank you. And thank you for having me

Speaker 2 in Long Beach. And thank you for having me.
Okay, okay.

Speaker 2 Thank me, too. Thank you for having me.

Speaker 2 Not very many people get to live that kind of thing. And I never thought I would.
We're happy that we're happy you're. We're happy, happy, happy, happy.
Let's talk about some real stuff. Yeah, yeah,

Speaker 2 so one of the funniest moments I've ever witnessed in my entire life in an airport. Well, it wasn't, it was a

Speaker 2 very awkward situation. Do you guys know what happened?

Speaker 2 So, we were in Austin. Yeah, the flight's delayed.
So, it's me, Andrew, and Andrew's wife. We're sitting there waiting for them to board the plane.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 we're standing there, and people are asking for photos with us. Yeah, you know, and

Speaker 2 which is pretty normal,

Speaker 2 if I may say, so is myself.

Speaker 2 And there's a guy off to the side, pretty near us on a table, and he's on his laptop. And he goes, excuse me, correct me if I'm wrong of the story.
He goes, excuse me, what do you guys do?

Speaker 2 And I said, oh, we're jugglers and magicians. That's right.
Right? And he goes,

Speaker 2 fuck that.

Speaker 2 He goes, I don't believe that for a second.

Speaker 2 And I said, you believe what you want to believe, pal. But at the same time,

Speaker 2 Bobby said, fuck you.

Speaker 2 We started cracking up. Yeah, we cracked it up.
And Bobby goes, go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself.
Yeah, yeah. And we're laughing.

Speaker 2 And this guy went like this to this

Speaker 2 and looked straight down. Straight down.
And I don't know what he's doing. He's typing away.
Typing away. And now I'm now.

Speaker 2 And then your wife laughs. We cracked up.
No, but she's laughing a lot. Yes.
Because now it's awkward.

Speaker 2 And I kind of go, hey, man, comics.

Speaker 2 We joke joke around, fuck around, you know? And he just won't look up. Didn't look up.
So then I start going, let's get away from there. We stood there for a long time.

Speaker 2 And it was so uncomfortable. And he just kept typing away, looking down, looking down.
And Bobby goes, should we walk away? Should we walk away? And I go, all right, we can walk away. So we walk away.

Speaker 2 Now, the whole time the conversation is how I get how uncomfortable I feel. It was so weird.
Yeah, I go, I don't know what to do. I mean, I feel so fucking bad.
And I said, just go over to him.

Speaker 2 You and your wife say it. We said, go over to him.
Yeah. Just say, just say we were just kidding.
And I'm like,

Speaker 2 I'm like going, I don't know, man. You didn't need to.
It was already over. We were kidding.
Not only did I need to. I didn't want to.
But you did. I did.
You're a stand-up guy. Yeah, I did.

Speaker 2 So I come up slowly. I go, hey, man, dude, I'm so sorry that I told you to go fuck yourself.
I go, seriously, we're like, that's just our brand of humor.

Speaker 2 You know, usually that gets a laugh. Yeah.
You know what I mean? And

Speaker 2 I'm so sorry. And he goes, why are you apologizing to me?

Speaker 2 And I go, well, because I just, I feel bad.

Speaker 2 And he goes, and he just goes back and do his thing. No, you forget one thing.
He said, that was really rude. Oh, that was right.
Yeah. He goes, that was really rude.
I go, I know.

Speaker 2 And then he goes back into his thing. This is like a 50-year-old man.
We were just fucking kidding. And he fucking took it to heart.
He screwed Bobby off and he looked back down and typed.

Speaker 2 But then Bobby loved it because he walked by us. He goes, what if he's not even on this plane? I go, he's on this plane.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And he walked right by us, and Bobby stared at him the whole fucking time. I stared at him when he walked on the plane.

Speaker 2 Anyway, wherever you are, sir. So we're sorry.
We're fucking kidding. We're kidding.
But you know what, dude?

Speaker 2 Fuck that guy.

Speaker 2 Hell yeah, dude. For real.
Well, what did you really say to me? You come up to me all nervous, and he goes, What if he runs a studio or what if he says like a president? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, because that's so, that's my fucking, that's my luck. You know what I mean? It's Jeff Bezos, yeah, or whatever, you know what I mean? But it's like, but then he went to coach.

Speaker 2 Bobby loved that. Well, I loved it because the odds of him being a studio exec just came way down.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 you know what I mean? That's true. I'm like, oh, and he also had an instrument.
Yeah, he had an instrument. Like a violin or something.
Something. Like a small little instrument.
So

Speaker 2 I mean, I'm pretty, probably, there's an orchestra in L.A. that doesn't like me right now.
What if it's the L.A. Philharmonic? Yeah, I don't care.
I don't go to that. Me neither.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 So it's fuck him. But anyway, we're sorry.
I mean, I'm sorry. Don't fuck yourself.
But I do believe that

Speaker 2 I took a risk.

Speaker 2 You know, I do try to make amends when it's needed. Of course, you did the right thing.
And usually it works out. We're like, hey, man, I understand.
You know what I mean? Whatever.

Speaker 2 But that just didn't happen. 10 times out of 10, it works out.

Speaker 2 Not with that guy, though. I can't believe it.
I couldn't believe it. But it didn't ruin a good trip.
We went down to Austin. No, it was.

Speaker 2 Didn't ruin it. Okay.
The Friday was great. We did.
I chilled with Joe. You guys weren't there.
You were, Carlos, there. Joe Pentagato and

Speaker 2 Frank. Of the basement yard.
I think it's only available on Patreon. That was fun.
Then we went out to a great dinner. Oh, my God, a glorious dinner.
Three forks. We had a great dinner.

Speaker 2 And then Rogan texted me. I know, I had run into Rogan earlier the night before, and he goes,

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 You all right? No.

Speaker 2 What? Oh, did you do this pre-corp? Creek, I did it. No, I hope they're certified with

Speaker 2 stir-fry?

Speaker 2 Jesus, this guy's hungry.

Speaker 2 I hope they're stir-fried. Do you want stir-fry right now? Carlos, go get him some stir-fry.
You

Speaker 2 Certified. Yeah.
We are certified. By the way, I want to walk in here next time for him with stir-fry in it.
Got it?

Speaker 2 Done.

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Speaker 2 So, um, Rogan invited us to the Black Keys.

Speaker 2 So, um,

Speaker 2 we go. It was fucking

Speaker 2 awesome. We were backstage.
We met the guys, you know,

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 but when they were about to play, we, for some reason, ended up on the stage. They walked us across the stage.
Which was weird. That was so cool.
I thought it was awesome. No, I thought it was weird.

Speaker 2 Like, because people, I think the audience were like, what the fuck is going on here? They cheered. I didn't hear cheers.
I heard cheers. That's in your head.
Oh, it is? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Maybe it was just Cre Corps out there. Maybe.
Oh,

Speaker 2 cheering for me? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And we saw the show, and then I left a little early. You did.
How long did you stay? To the very end. Oh, yeah.
And then we stayed afterwards and went backstage and chatted with them.

Speaker 2 Oh, did you really? Yeah, it was Red.

Speaker 2 I can't. When you said I needed to leave, Joe was like, where the fuck is he going? And I was like, this is what he does.
He leaves. He just gets uncomfortable and needs to leave.
But you missed it.

Speaker 2 Because afterwards. I saw five or six songs.
Like, I knew all the songs. Yeah.
And I was just like, oh, that was cool. And I just kind of, it just got to.

Speaker 2 There's these two guys in back of me.

Speaker 2 I don't know who those guys are. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then

Speaker 2 also there's a little fence here where everyone is, and they're just kind of like, I don't know. I just felt uncomfortable.
I get it. I felt like trapped in a cage.
It was also hard for you to see.

Speaker 2 Well, because Duncan Trussell was there, and I was there. Yeah.
You know. So anyway, it was a great time.
And

Speaker 2 then Saturday we did the mothership and, you know, bounced around the mothership a little bit. Bounced around a little bit.
And then brought some of our friends. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Saw Jim Norton, Erica Rhodes. Oh, my God.
A bunch of good comics. Good comics.
It was a fun weekend. It actually wasn't really.
I like these little trips we take. These little tiny trips we take.

Speaker 2 We should take more, but we should just do it, just you and I together. Yeah, where we're not really.
And we did do a show, but a simple thing. No, it was small and intimate.

Speaker 2 It was kind of a fun little. You know, it was nice to not have there

Speaker 2 the boys. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It felt good. It felt real good.
It felt freeing. You liked it because you turned to me at some point and you go, it's nice that McCone's not here.

Speaker 2 I did say that, I think. You did, and you meant it.
And I think you...

Speaker 2 Not in an offensive way. It was just like,

Speaker 2 you know what, like a, you know what Compound W is? Is that a cream?

Speaker 2 It's close.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Count Compound W removed the warts.
Okay. You know, and it's like I used to have a wart on my knuckle, and I used compound W.
Knuckle.

Speaker 2 Yeah. He had a wart on his moose knuckle.
Yeah, my moose knuckle. And

Speaker 2 it went away, and it was just like, oh, oh, I don't have the wart. That's kind of what it felt like having McCone around.
Oh, that's really good.

Speaker 2 It's like it's gone. That's funny because the warts do kind of come and go as they please.
They do. They grow back at the same spot sometimes.

Speaker 2 And also, they pop up at the most inconvenient times, don't they? Exactly. So you're going to hate wart.

Speaker 2 Wart. We have Abe, Crecor, and Wart.
Yeah. But

Speaker 2 no offense, because sometimes when you're around, yeah, you know? Sometimes warts are okay. Yeah.
Sometimes they add character.

Speaker 2 You know, when you see like a witch with boils and warts, it looks cool gives you reality a check right oh i'm human

Speaker 2 or i have to deal with human things you know you like negative emotions and stuff right yeah you got a lot of compliments uh

Speaker 2 on your gels this weekend for some reason yeah a lot yeah it drives you crazy it drives me nuts you don't like my nails i don't i know i don't but i don't know why yeah why does it bother you just because my dad used to make us paint our nails

Speaker 2 there's no way when we would lose like if i lost a basketball game he'd make me me paint my nails, and I'd have to wear a dress and walk around the neighborhood, and I'd say, I'm a little sissy.

Speaker 2 I would say, I'm a little sissy boy, and I can't win. And I'd have to repeat it.
And the neighborhood goes, shame, shame, shame, shame. And they'd ring a bell.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Dude, when Cersei had to do that in Game of Thrones, oh, my God, imagine. Shame, shame! And then when she gets revenge on that one crazy nun

Speaker 2 when she's in prison, and that nun's like harassing her for a season, and then, you know, the tables have turned, and then the mountain, was it the mountain or whatever, had to torture the.

Speaker 2 You guys never saw Game of Thrones? No.

Speaker 2 Wait, do you know what it is? I've seen it.

Speaker 2 I've never seen an episode, but I've seen it. What's that? Oh, this is fucking phenomenal.

Speaker 2 We do this at the end or no? We do these at the end. Yeah, go ahead.
Do it at the end. We don't do this now.
Okay. He is, but you know what?

Speaker 2 He's throwing stuff in the air, and I do like that he's juggling. And you know why he's trying everything right now? Why? Because he's sober as he's ever been.
He's clear-headed. He's participatory.

Speaker 2 I don't know, man. Great A Marks for me.
Well, you don't believe that I'm not drinking? I think you should still smoking weed. I'm not.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 2 See, that was actually very honest. You could tell that he's not.

Speaker 2 How many days now?

Speaker 2 A little like 95, 96 or something.

Speaker 2 Look at me in the eyes. Yeah.
Any pills? No pills. Lexapro only.
Prescription. That's legal.
That's legal. That's fine.
Okay. My bad.
No. Congratulations, man.
No tussin?

Speaker 2 You're not like tussin tripping? No, I wish. No.
No tussin. How's the sexual behavior?

Speaker 2 I actually slowed down a little bit. Very good, very good.
Yeah, before you came in, he was showing us hooker websites. Oh, yeah.
I mean,

Speaker 2 really? Literally, before you went in. That's insane.
That's what we were looking at. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 He was telling me.

Speaker 2 What did you say? Say what you said. I said, Andrew, as soon as your money came in.

Speaker 2 As soon as I paid the check, I wrote him a check. Oh, right.
As soon as I wrote him a check, what did you do? I went to a website. He went to a hooker website.

Speaker 2 We gave you a little raise, didn't we not? The moment that he cashed the check. That's insane.
Maybe we shouldn't give him that raise. Well, no, he's going to use it anyway.

Speaker 2 I'd rather at that than on drugs. Exactly.
That's true. But also, that can be a drug.
Be careful.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and also, I just want to say, I got invited to a girl's place last week to do Coke like two in the morning, and I thought about it for a while, but I didn't go. He called me.

Speaker 2 It's a girl that you've already penetrated?

Speaker 2 No, we're working on it. Okay.

Speaker 2 Thank you, Goop. Thanks, Goop.
Thanks, Creek. Thanks, Creek.
No, he did call me and tell me. He's like, you'd be proud of me.
I got invited to a party that was really

Speaker 2 typically would want to go to real bad, but resisted. But that's huge.
So these girls, they call you up and they say, hey, we got a bag. You got to come over.
Yeah. And what's your first thought?

Speaker 2 Oh, this can be like. Here, ready? Bling, bing, bing, bing, bling.
Hello? Hey, Carlos. Hey, what's going on? What's up?

Speaker 2 Hold on. This is my Carlos.

Speaker 2 I have a girl with me. Who are you talking to? Carlos, you know that bald weirdo.
Oh, my God. Do you like him? Like, he's like that guy, Crumb.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, we call him Crumb.

Speaker 2 Why?

Speaker 2 He has crumbs. He's crusty.
He's crusty. Yeah.
Anyway,

Speaker 2 Carlos, we have a bag of Coke with your name on it. What are you thinking? Is there any fentanyl in it? I mean, fuck.

Speaker 2 I have one of those strips. Let me check.
Hold on.

Speaker 2 Don't laugh. I know.
I just like no one ever, because we always have pure Coke. We always have pure Coke.
And when he's asking me, it's like,

Speaker 2 luckily, I have these fentanyl strips. Thank God.
Test? It's a test test. Let's see.
A little. A little bit.
A little. Not enough to kill anybody.
Not to kill anybody. Want to come over? Yeah.
I do.

Speaker 2 Let me call you back.

Speaker 2 Anyway, there's no fentanyl in the fault. There's no fentanyl in it.
So please come over. I have to call Andrew.
Who's Andrew? Gross. Is that that stupid redhead from Dave?

Speaker 2 Is that that ugly guy from Dave? No, he's one of my best friends. But is it the same guy? Is it the same guy?

Speaker 2 He's friends with a little Chinese fat guy? Yeah, exactly. Ew.
That Chinese fat guy is pretty hot, though. You think so? I don't know.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Why do you think that's true?

Speaker 2 Because it's like guys like that, they have way bigger dicks than you think. No, that's not what I've heard and seen.
That's not.

Speaker 2 I actually went to one of their shows and I saw it, and it was fucking gorgeous. Yeah, well, I'm going to say I talked to his ex, Kalila, Sarah, Christine, all his exes.
They say a big dick.

Speaker 2 That's not what Kalila said to me. Anyway.
Are you going to come over and do this Coke with us or not? I'm on my way. There you go.

Speaker 2 I'm glad that you resisted and you do the right thing and pick up the phone and call a friend. Do not.
I'm sure that's tempting, too, because two cute chicks want you to come over and hang out.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was awesome. And to your mind, do you ever think, I could go over there and not do Coke and just hang out with cool hot chicks? That's what my plan was.
I knew I did. You soak.

Speaker 2 You know what's funny is I soaked in New York last week. You did? You soaked in New York? Is that when you leave it in? Sexual stuff is kind of sexual.
That's when you just put it in and let it sit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You leave it in.
You're right, Creekor.

Speaker 2 And then what happens in the Mormon community? Have you ever soaked, Creekor? No, but I knew it had to be dirty because Carlos is doing it. That's right.

Speaker 2 In the Mormon community, somebody gets under the bed, and while you're soaking, and they bounce the mattress. Do you know this? That sounds fun.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Oh, you're the. I feel like that's your job.

Speaker 2 You regret it, Kennedy.

Speaker 2 You're like, wee!

Speaker 2 He's just sitting cross-legged eating chips with his head hitting the bottom of the bag. And some some girl's like who's doing oh it's creepor's under the bed and he has to go creek

Speaker 2 wow you soaked in new york yeah i think it was because it was the first time with this girl it was like the first time we met that it was like a progression over the night like putting on my pants then my underwear then soak but the weird thing is love on the spectrum was on the whole time really i got into it so i was listening during this whole time maybe that's why you couldn't well that's why you stopped it soaking well how do you know I didn't come?

Speaker 2 Because I didn't.

Speaker 2 I think he did it. I think.
Dude, this is he's a detective. Did you see that? Yeah, he's a good little detective.
Yeah, dude. You're like Sherlock Holmes to me.

Speaker 2 Ask away. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You came to Love on the Spectrum, and you're going to prove it. I didn't come watching Love on the Spectrum, I promise.
Keep going, Creek. You got it.
I'm not trained for this.

Speaker 2 Let's do a little scenario here.

Speaker 2 I really think that you're like Sherlock Holmes. Okay.
It's the early 1800s in London. I've been to London.

Speaker 2 That doesn't matter. It's fine.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 Right?

Speaker 2 And him and I are police officers. We're on a scene of the crime.
That's right. Right?

Speaker 2 There's a young lady brutally stabbed. There's a knife,

Speaker 2 but it's broken off. But we can't find the other half of the knife, okay?

Speaker 2 We don't know what to do because we're new.

Speaker 2 Like, Mike, what do we do? I don't really know what to do. Yeah, I just don't.

Speaker 2 I don't understand how

Speaker 2 we hired this type of English guy

Speaker 2 from Essex or something. Well, I got the job.

Speaker 2 Well, part of the knife is broken up. Anyway, Crecor, it's up to you to figure it out.
Yeah, Creekor, we called you.

Speaker 2 There's our phones. We called them.
We run you up.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Sorry, Creekor, about his face.
You've got to finish your crime. He had a stroke.
You've got to finish your crime. You're a great actor.
I'll be eating beans on toast.

Speaker 2 I think the first place you should check is inside for the other half. Oh, inside for the other half.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Inside for the other half. Well,

Speaker 2 are you having a stroke?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Are you English?

Speaker 2 I'll try to do what you're going.

Speaker 2 I feel like this is like watching painting.

Speaker 2 We didn't check. We didn't check.

Speaker 2 When Bobby does English, it's like an Asian guy.

Speaker 2 Shut up, man.

Speaker 2 Let me fucking commit to it, dude. Anyway, bullocks.

Speaker 2 Find the fucking other half of them either side of the body. So, what do you do to find the other half? Creek, you're up.
I think you have to flip them over and burp them. Burp them.

Speaker 2 See if the other half comes out that way. Holy shit.
Wow. My God.
Because people swallow daggers, I think. They swallow the dagger.

Speaker 2 Behold.

Speaker 2 Wow. I lied in my resume.
I shouldn't get this. This.

Speaker 2 This is.

Speaker 2 What happened to you, Oxford? I don't know. Yours freaked my mouth.

Speaker 2 Yours.

Speaker 2 Why? You guys are trying to do it. I'm trying.
I'm committing.

Speaker 2 Anyway, okay, so

Speaker 2 you would be a good detective. That would be very good.
Whoa.

Speaker 2 So you wanted us to tap his body so that the other blade would come out of the hole? Yeah, you burp him. You burp him.
Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 2 That's never been done. He's there somewhere.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 I don't know, Creek.

Speaker 2 Are you finding some newfound fame? Look behind you. We had some fan make art for you, which is incredible.

Speaker 2 Well, you're turning violet, Violet. That's what that is.
You know what that's from. Yeah, I love Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Speaker 2 Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. There it is.
I don't like the Johnny Depp version at all. Why is that? Because Johnny Depp.
So you hate Johnny Depp post-scandal or pre-scandal?

Speaker 2 He was just terrible in that movie. You don't need to make him, you know, Willy Wonka quirky because he's already perfect.
So you think Gene Wilder's version is the best version? Yeah. By far.

Speaker 2 What about Chalamet? Didn't he just redo it?

Speaker 2 As a young Willy Wonka. Yeah.
Do you not like Chalamet's version?

Speaker 2 I watched it. It took three times to get through it, but you can't beat the original.
You can't beat the original. There's, you know.
You really can't.

Speaker 2 You really can't. I don't know.

Speaker 2 Honestly, I've only seen that movie one time. God, I've watched it so many fucking times.
So I don't know what it's about at all.

Speaker 2 Can I just,

Speaker 2 and I'm not making a bit out about it. Let me see if I can get it.
Let's see how close you are. Okay.
There's a factory.

Speaker 2 That's a crazy part. There's not.
Well, there's a.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Really? Yeah,

Speaker 2 of course. And this guy, Willie Wonka.

Speaker 2 Willie. Wonka.
William. William T.
Wonka. William T.
Wonka. Right.
Runs this chocolate factory. That's right.
And there's a promotional kind of

Speaker 2 a contest for people that

Speaker 2 in a bar, there's a ticket, right? And if you get the golden ticket, you get to go to this promotional thing. Seems like you've seen it.
No, I know, I haven't. I saw it one time.

Speaker 2 Now it gets a little hazy. Okay.

Speaker 2 So of all the kids that get the golden ticket. Right, and then things ensue.

Speaker 2 Somebody blows up. One of them is fat.
One of them is a bitch. Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay. Goop.
Goop. Slow down.

Speaker 2 Who's the bitch, Goop?

Speaker 2 Veruka Salt. Veruka Salt.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's her name? There's a band called Varuka Salt. Uh-oh.
Uh-oh. News Flash.
News Flash. They're named after her.

Speaker 2 Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Anyway.

Speaker 2 Thank you there wasn't a band called Charlie Bucket.

Speaker 2 Charlie Bucket is such a good name for a band. But at the end, there was a Gobstopper that one of the kids stole.

Speaker 2 Everlasting Gobstopper. Everlasting Gobstopper.
At the end of the movie, he puts it on Willy Wonka's desk. That's Charlie.

Speaker 2 Charlie.

Speaker 2 Charlie is bribed

Speaker 2 by Willy Wonka's, what seems to be his evil competitor.

Speaker 2 Right?

Speaker 2 And he says, if you steal me, Neverlasting Gobstopper.

Speaker 2 Smeaglesworth or something.

Speaker 2 That guy. What? That's the guy who...
Schiegel. Smeaglesworth or something.
The guy you're doing your Schmeckmasworth. That one.
No, it's not Schmegma's worth. His name in the movie is...

Speaker 2 What is his name, that fucking guy?

Speaker 2 Willy Wonka Enemy. Yeah, what is his fucking name? Slugworth.

Speaker 2 Slugworth. You weren't even close at all.
Schmiglsworth.

Speaker 2 Schmigl is.

Speaker 2 Slugworth, Bob.

Speaker 2 I remember vividly as a kid watching this, by the way, and seeing the way they shot that, the sheen on his face. It was so smooth.

Speaker 2 I remember the light bouncing off his cheeks and the indentation and how scary he looked, the way he talked to me. There's no job that this guy doesn't have that scares the shit out of people.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 At McDonald's, what do you think? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, I wouldn't eat it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's so scary in this film. He does such a great job.
But he convinces Charlie to try to steal an Everlasting Gobstopper. Right there.
That's the scene.

Speaker 2 And Charlie Bucket succumbs to the poor, overwhelming feeling of trying to help his family out. And Jack's won with his Grandpa Joe.
You said Jack's won with his Grandpa Joe.

Speaker 2 Dude, honestly, dude. You need help.
Creek, you need to get to the hospital and get your head checked out. Eat one of those chips, Creek.
Yeah, yeah. Chip, eat a crick.
Anyway, Chip, eat a crick.

Speaker 2 And then Willy Wonka likes Charlie. No.
Well, he sees the good in Charlie the whole film because all these other kids are kind of spoiled brats. There's Mike TV.
Right, right.

Speaker 2 He wants to be a Hollywood movie star. I see.
And there's Violet Beauregard and Vrew. Wow, so you've seen it.
You've seen it. One of my favorite books.
Wow. It was one of my favorite books as a kid.

Speaker 2 Like, I loved it so much. And then what ended up happening was

Speaker 2 you stole Fizzy Lifting Drink. That scene is one of the best scenes of all time.
Right. And so.
And he's with his uncle or something, right? Grandpa Joe. Grandpa Joe.
And he's, he's.

Speaker 2 And Grandpa Joe, I remember, goes, come on, come on, Charlie, let's leave. Come on back.
And he goes, hold on, Grandpa Joe. One second.
Very good. And he, what? That's very good.

Speaker 2 And he walks up to the table.

Speaker 2 I remember Willy Wonka is writing something down. Maybe he's like, you know, writing a letter or drawing a picture.
I don't know what he's doing. And he sets it on the table.
He turns around.

Speaker 2 And then Willy Wonka goes, this isn't Charlie, right? Charlie?

Speaker 2 Come back here, Charlie. You've won, Charlie.
Oh, yeah, yeah. You won, Charlie.
Yeah, that's something like that.

Speaker 2 The beautiful scene that these film dorks will remember is when he puts the gobstopper down and he puts his hand on the gobstopper. Do you know this moment?

Speaker 2 Willie puts his hand over the gobstopper as if to like

Speaker 2 say, like, this is amends have been made. Peace has been made.
Him putting his hands on the gobstopper was you saying to the man, I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself. Dude.

Speaker 2 And all he could have done, all he should have done was ride the elevator through the glass into the sky with you. But he didn't.
That guy didn't. That guy was Slugworth.
He's Slugworth.

Speaker 2 The man we met in the middle of the day. You hear that violin man?

Speaker 2 You hear that violin man? You're Slugworth. You are, dude.
And I'm going to say this right now, dude. I've never, ever in my lifetime.

Speaker 2 Go ahead. No, I want you.
I've never in my lifetime have met any individual like you, dude. That was out of pocket, unreal, and unrehearsed.
You got a lot of nerve, Slug.

Speaker 2 That was a terrible trip because you got it. You got it, dude.

Speaker 2 How dare that that guy?

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Speaker 2 You know what made me laugh

Speaker 2 at the end of that long trip? Was that your driver was waiting for you. So excited to see you.

Speaker 2 Mine didn't exist. Oh, yeah.
I walked around for a while looking for this guy. Well, that happened to me the time before, remember? When mine didn't even show up at all.

Speaker 2 And then my guy lied, by the way. This is what's the weirdest thing.
Yeah, but I didn't fuck up with Andrew. No, no, it wasn't his fault.
Okay. It wasn't, it wasn't Carlos Favala.

Speaker 2 If you fuck up Thursday, I swear to God, you're fired. No, I

Speaker 2 know, I promise. That's it.
I'm going to call you directly and go, you're fired. I don't want to see you again.
That would never happen twice.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it won't happen. Anyway, anyway, anyway.

Speaker 2 He just jinxed him.

Speaker 2 Fancy. Be nice.

Speaker 2 In fact, you should get your car ready.

Speaker 2 Like, I should go there.

Speaker 2 Should I be parked there? Actually, you should. Wait a minute.

Speaker 2 Carlos just got a brand new car. Why don't you put on a suit and pick him up? Yeah, I could do that.
Should I wear all bad friends stuff? And And I want you to hold a sign.

Speaker 2 Outside of Rogan's Club, though, I don't know if you saw this. There were black Israelites.
Do you know what this is? Goop? Creek? Do you know what a black Israelite is?

Speaker 2 It's like an African Jew to me. Okay.

Speaker 2 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 There were dozens of black Israelites yelling in the streets. They were the original Jews, and they were screaming at people.
And they were wearing purple shirts, just like those shirts right there.

Speaker 2 And they were screaming at people. That's exactly what they were wearing.
That's it. That's what Beyonce's backup dancers wore at Coachella.
Is this at Coachella? I think so. Wow.

Speaker 2 There's the trumpets they're not holding. Or Wakanda.
So these individuals.

Speaker 2 Did you just hear what he just said? That was so fucking funny.

Speaker 2 Holy shit.

Speaker 2 Wakanda?

Speaker 2 Wow. This is the sniper.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Let me ask you a question. So are these people, these individuals, are they Jewish of descent?

Speaker 2 They say they are the original Jews.

Speaker 2 Wow. So they believe in...
Judaism and they practice Judaism. They believe in...

Speaker 2 Okay, they believe... They are the original Jews, they say.
They were yelling at people in the street, handing out pamphlets. Okay.
And it wasn't an approachable.

Speaker 2 I would rather the other version of Jews that's like, hey, come get a pamphlet. Like, this was very aggressive.
Very aggressive. Well, they need these people.
These great fine people. Jesus.

Speaker 2 These great fine people. There's good people on both sides.
Yeah, there's good Jews, black Jews and white Jews. No, but it was crazy how aggressive.
They were screaming at us. Wow.

Speaker 2 And I was like, I'm just trying to go to the fucking club. But they were actually protesting Joe's club? No, no, no, no.
Oh, okay. No, no, no.
They were in 6th Street protesting something.

Speaker 2 I couldn't really hear what they were doing. It had nothing to do with the club.
It was just out front of his fucking club because 6th Street is an

Speaker 2 absolute nightmare. It's a nightmare.
It's disgusting. Yeah.
Look at that guy right there. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Pointing, letting you know. Yeah.
Yeah, Black Israelites. Shout out to the Black Israelites.
Okay. Okay, anyway.

Speaker 2 How many shows? Now you're going to see another show. You just went and saw a show.
Who are you going to see now? I'm doing 20 shows in New York next week. You're what?

Speaker 2 I'm going to see 20 shows in New York. 20 Broadway shows.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, by the the way and whatever show we talk about ends up getting canceled sleep no more has been operating without a permit apparently for two years and they shut it down love that and and adele lost her voice and she canceled but you do go to madonna with esther no yeah that was fun it was a lot of fun you know we're gonna see casey musk grapes together you kind of are a material girl huh

Speaker 2 not a physical material girl what's that other thing Oh, no, then I'm not a material girl. I'm more of an experienced one.
You're an experienced girl. Yeah.
Like a virgin.

Speaker 2 My favorite song by her is Borderline. I like that song.
That's so good. It's a good song.
She's a phenomenal. Do you remember how people talk about Taylor Swift?

Speaker 2 Huge star. But do you remember in the fucking late 80s?

Speaker 2 Dude, Madonna was huge. Yeah.

Speaker 2 She was the same kind of scale. Same kind of scale of fervor.
Obviously not as big because the internet didn't exist. If the internet existed, Madonna would have been as big.
Oh, yes. 100%.

Speaker 2 She would have had her

Speaker 2 bigger. Maybe, but it's hard to know because Taylor Swift is a global phenomenon.
Madonna was too, but the reach was just more because of the. But is it me, though?

Speaker 2 I'm going to ask a serious, real question here.

Speaker 2 I can't, I don't know a Taylor Swift song. I mean, I'm sure she's very good, but like, but Madonna's songs, I know

Speaker 2 the top eight hits, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think you do know Taylor Swift's songs. You just don't remember that you know them because they're yeah, but even as a young guy, I was like, oh, that's borderline by Madonna.

Speaker 2 And like, it was catchy, you know what I mean? But is it because I'm older? I don't, I don't know what's going on. Yeah, it's not for us.
Really? Yeah, dude. We're old.

Speaker 2 You're a 52-year-old Chinese man. It's not for you.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. What the fuck? Yeah.
She's not writing songs for you. Okay.

Speaker 2 I mean, seriously, do Taylor Swift's number one songs. And I got to tell you, you will know all of them.
It just, like, I literally won't. Like, shake it off, shake it off.
Woo-hoo-hoo.

Speaker 2 You know that song. Literally don't.
No chance. Never heard it.
I got a blank space, baby. And I'll write your name.
You know that. No.
Okay.

Speaker 2 I don't know bad blood

Speaker 2 definitely no bad blood I don't know I I know Billie Eilish I know Adele I know um people who didn't build their careers off pity yeah

Speaker 2 oh he hates Taylor

Speaker 2 you don't no well not much of a singer we don't need a 10 minute version of any song oh

Speaker 2 you know that dull you know what thing you're not a material girl you're a moody girl yeah you're a little moody girl

Speaker 2 Who's a little moody bitch over there? I like that.

Speaker 2 You're a little judgy bitch. I think you're actually.
He's a very much.

Speaker 2 You are judgy. Creek or cut it out.

Speaker 2 You've never seen a Taylor Swift concert. I have.
All she does is. Oh, you've been?

Speaker 2 Yeah, all she does is.

Speaker 2 But you have to keep your enemies closer.

Speaker 2 How many times have you seen Taylor Swift live? I think three times. Okay, once wasn't enough to say I don't like it.

Speaker 2 It was never her alone. Oh, she's at Festival Lionels.
Okay. Oh, I see.
Who have you, what artists have you seen the most? Like the most number of times?

Speaker 2 When I was a kid, I saw Hillary Duck 23 times.

Speaker 2 Jesus Christ. Yeah, but does she have a lot of songs? Yeah, he has an incredible

Speaker 2 discography.

Speaker 2 Ashley Simpson, the queen of pop, she's incredible. Do you like Fugazi? Is that like Bukaki? Yeah.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 2 Fugazi. It's the same thing.
Yeah, like, do you like punk bands?

Speaker 2 Like, is there a Sonic Youth album you know? No. I wouldn't say Fugazi's a punk band.

Speaker 2 Oh, they're totally. I mean, minor threats to Fugazi.
They're pretty DC punk. The weekend's very good.
I like his white songs and his black songs.

Speaker 2 Creek. Creek, Creek.

Speaker 2 The weekend has black and white songs? Yeah. What are his black songs?

Speaker 2 His white songs are like blinding lights, and then his black songs are like, you know, when he whispers and says really dirty things. Like RB.
When he does RB.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, whisper a little dirty thing that he would say in my ear. Go ahead.

Speaker 2 Go ahead, man.

Speaker 2 No, I wouldn't say it. No, just say it.

Speaker 2 I need to know lyrics. No, you don't.
Just make it up if you don't know. Come on.

Speaker 2 No, they're mortifying. No, just say, just come on, man.
Ooh, I'm blinded by the line. Give me something aggressive.

Speaker 2 I need my phone.

Speaker 2 No. No.
From your heart. Make it up.
Pre-core. From your heart.

Speaker 2 Yeah, baby.

Speaker 2 Some of that. Yeah, baby.

Speaker 2 Pump that juice inside my.

Speaker 2 It's worse than that. Oh, really?

Speaker 2 Let me see. Let me see if I can guess if you don't want to pump it.
Okay. All right.
Yeah, baby. Let me take my fucking knuckle dick.

Speaker 2 Right. Jam it up your fucking tait twat and rip holes, baby.
What's up? I think that's what he said. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's like

Speaker 2 a player.

Speaker 2 I don't like this at all. Why, why? He's grossing me out.
No, I'm just saying, I'm trying to get...

Speaker 2 What would he say?

Speaker 2 Come on.

Speaker 2 I'm dirty. Come on.
Look up or nah. No, no, no.
Don't. We're making it up.
Oh, no. So I'm.
We're at a club.

Speaker 2 Tampa.

Speaker 2 Sounds like it.

Speaker 2 You don't like this at all? No, no, no, I like it. 2008.

Speaker 2 Right?

Speaker 2 Ebor Street.

Speaker 2 I'm bent over. Big booty.
Booty beyond booties, dude. It's like twilight.
It's like the night sky. And I'm jiggling it.

Speaker 2 Hey.

Speaker 2 Uncle Wikwia.

Speaker 2 Uncle Wikwia.

Speaker 2 Hey. Uncle Wikiwia.
What's your name, baby, baby?

Speaker 2 Yo! Yo!

Speaker 2 It's my boy Creekor.

Speaker 2 No, no, not you. He's trying to hit.
Not Creek or you, man, baby, my boy. What he's trying to hit.

Speaker 2 My boy trying to hit. What he gonna say? Hey, Creek, run game on this bitch.
What he gonna say? Run game on this bitch, Creek. You could have your own strip club with that ass.
No.

Speaker 2 Wow, well, that was weird. Are you interested in my boy, Creek? Creek, run some bread on this bitch.
I want game from you, player. No way.
Creek, please, please.

Speaker 2 I don't want that guy. Creek, try again.
No, I think it's forceful now. I think I have to stop.
I think

Speaker 2 Creek.

Speaker 2 I'm burning. I'm going to go home.
My legs are burning. I think I'm going to go home.

Speaker 2 My legs are burning. Fucking do it.

Speaker 2 Hey, I'm going to do it. This was a bad idea.
Oh, my God. Every time we go out.
Fucking do it, dude. Every time we go out, that's what he does.
You're supposed to do it, dude.

Speaker 2 You can't go out anymore if you keep doing that. Oh, she wouldn't.
No, it was. But you're making it weird.
All you have to do is say, you know, I think you're beautiful. Can I buy you a drink?

Speaker 2 Yeah, something.

Speaker 2 Come on, Creek. God.

Speaker 2 You don't drink at all, right? Oh, I drink. I like drinkies.
I like.

Speaker 2 Yeah. What's your favorite drink? I like gin.
I like Jameson.

Speaker 2 One's gin and one was whiskey. So you just like anything, really? Yeah.
Whatever gets you fucked up. Yeah.
No beer. I like beer.
Okay.

Speaker 2 I like them all. I want to get drunk with Creek.
Yeah, please. Drink.
I'm out. You're out.
I know. I'm so mad right now.
I'm sorry. My legs burst so bad right now.

Speaker 2 I'm so mad that he didn't play along. I didn't do anything.
Yeah, you fucked it up, man. My legs are burning because we could have done a bit.
Creek was trying to do the bit and he fucked it up.

Speaker 2 Don't blame me. I know, but you don't need a friend in the scenario.
Yes, you do. As a bad person, I know how your legs feel right now.
Hey. They're burning from the bottom.

Speaker 2 No? No. All right.
Because for some reason, you don't want to do it. Because

Speaker 2 I want to pass the mic to Creek. Yeah, I'm just trying to get some sexualities from you, man.

Speaker 2 We're going to have to put Icy Hot on Bobby's legs.

Speaker 2 You use Icy Hot, bud? No. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Have you put Benguet on your dick? No.

Speaker 2 No. He has.
No.

Speaker 2 No. I pocket dialed you the other night.
I know you did. And it was cute.
You called me right back and I said, sorry, pocketile. Yeah, you're buck dialed.
I know. Sorry, a little pocket.
Can I giggle?

Speaker 2 I did. Could I? I mean, I wish I could giggle.
I didn't get dial. You can giggle and text.
I should giggle and text because I giggled when you. You know what my dad does?

Speaker 2 My dad will butt dial me and then he'll leave a 30-minute voicemail of him just talking to other people. And just talking to other people or just talking to the TV.

Speaker 2 Sometimes I'll hear him talking to the television. I'm not kidding.
He's alone most of the day, so he'll just yell at the TV.

Speaker 2 It's kind of sad. I want to, I wish I could move my parents out here.
Like, do you, don't you wish your mom was closer? No.

Speaker 2 Really? No, I don't. Wait, why?

Speaker 2 I think I would worry about her constantly. If she was closer.
No, because I know that she lives in Phoenix, and I know she lives in the suburbs.

Speaker 2 It's nice and safe. It's safe.
In LA, there's other elements that I don't know.

Speaker 2 I know what you're saying. Yeah.
I'm afraid of elements.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? Being exposed to her that I don't want. Hollywood stuff.
Like your mom ends up at a Hollywood party.

Speaker 2 Yeah. With Carlos.
Yeah, with Carlos. Right.
Yeah, and there's like fentanyl, and she's like, I want to try. Let me try, Carlos.
Because she has said,

Speaker 2 before I die, I want to try marijuana.

Speaker 2 Well, why don't we let her try?

Speaker 2 She's old enough now. I would get her that.
Like a gummy or something? Like a blunt. No, not a blunt.

Speaker 2 She's never smoked anything. No, don't fucking blunt her, dude.
Come on, dude. Don't blunt his money.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't blunt my mum right now.
Fucking weirdo.

Speaker 2 You're like a little, like five-milligram little gummy. Yeah, I got her.
Yeah, yeah. Give her two.
Yeah. She had five.
She's never smoked wheat. She's never touched marijuana before.

Speaker 2 Give her a two, see how she feels. Give her another two, see how she feels.
Then dose her with a 20.

Speaker 2 I also have mushroom chocolates in my freezer. No, I don't want her to have that.
Okay. Well, give that to someone.
Give that to us. I know.
It's in the back right now.

Speaker 2 It's in the back of your freezer? Bridge, yeah. Oh, that you were also talking about in the van over to the Black Keys.

Speaker 2 I don't want to name the name, but I guess

Speaker 2 you can just cut that out, right?

Speaker 2 This older comic, Legend, has the best LSD in the country. Really? Yeah, and it's it's liquid form and they go one drop

Speaker 2 You're telling me Jay Leno has the best

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, Jay Leno did

Speaker 2 have you ever done acid? Oh, yeah, I hated acid when I did it. I didn't like it.
Yeah mushrooms love no I like acid because it's more I just it's more intense the the the the

Speaker 2 you know, I mean

Speaker 2 Like I hallucinate crazy. Like the walls open up.
I wonder if you can see as much as we see when you hallucinate.

Speaker 2 Probably not as much.

Speaker 2 Because I don't see it in the peripheral. It's a little blinders, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I only see this much.

Speaker 2 Imagine. Yeah, me.

Speaker 2 Asian hallucinating is only restricted. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's like, Bobby, do you see that dragon? You're like, where, where? Yeah, yeah, where, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I have to actually directly look at it

Speaker 2 and not, you know. When Asians hallucinate, their vision is just like an Apple Pro, where you have to kind of like move your head around a little bit to see it all.

Speaker 2 Well, that's why they didn't run when the fucking bomb hit. no they couldn't see it coming yeah they were just whoa

Speaker 2 you know what i mean they didn't you know if they had regular eyes they could have seen it up they could have seen it and they would have run but they were like oh what

Speaker 2 by the way there was a guy on the plane wearing an apple vision pro and it is funny to watch a guy yeah he was sitting like right there in that seat right next to me and it was funny to watch a guy like this

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 And his people next to him just like reading a book like nothing. That is going to be the future.
The whole plane is going to be on devices. But what's the difference between Apple Vision and Oculus?

Speaker 2 Because I have an Oculus and I was tired of it after two weeks. Apple Vision is supposed to be significantly better than

Speaker 2 the technology is better. Where can I get one? I can go to the Apple store right now and buy one? Yeah, right now.
They're $5,000.

Speaker 2 Fuck. Yeah, the Oculus is only with, what, $600?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's very reasonable in comparison. Yeah, they're $500.
$500, but the Apple one is $4,000. And by the way, it depends on the gigabyte you get.
That's $4,000 for the 512.

Speaker 2 That's where it starts, right? And what can you do? Watch movies?

Speaker 2 Anything. It's fully immersive.
You You can be watching something, but it's also, what do you call it? You can see what's going on outside of the glasses while also being in, what is that called?

Speaker 2 Augustine reality. What is it? Augmented reality.
Augmented reality, right? So it looks like that. You see that guy? He's looking at his office, but he also has screens in front of his face.

Speaker 2 So if I'm watching that, right, and I'm laying in my bed, I could watch a movie. Yep.
And is it...

Speaker 2 And you can also see what's going on in your house.

Speaker 2 Look at that, just like that. Like apps pop up in the air.
But let me see what it looks like when you have a movie. We'll go on.
That's what he just, right? The first picture.

Speaker 2 First picture right there is that. That's it.

Speaker 2 Oh, you see your room then? Yes. Yes.
Wow. Okay.
Amazing. And you can move that screen to wherever you want.
You can also have multiple screens up at once. Oh, you can do that.
Look at that.

Speaker 2 Fully immersive. Immersive.
Wow. You can also enter the mode where it is completely surrounding you, where you don't see the room.
Incredible.

Speaker 2 Should we get one? That sounds like we're doing a plug for him right now. Let's get one.
Can we get one? For the show? No, I want to buy one. Should I buy one? You should buy one.
Did you buy one?

Speaker 2 No, I don't want to buy one. Can you wear it while you drive? Shut the fuck fuck up, people.

Speaker 2 I've seen people.

Speaker 2 Shut the fuck up. No, you know what?

Speaker 2 You know what, Creek? That's definitely illegal to drive with this. Okay.
100%. But it will be the future.
We will be able to do that.

Speaker 2 You're going to get in a car. They're going to make you put that on, self-driving, right? So you don't touch the wheel.
So you're doing something else. What is it now?

Speaker 2 What? Are they all sold out?

Speaker 2 Did you just go to the app? I can't get them still. Yeah.
Let's go to the store and go get one, Bob. Yeah, okay.
I'm going to buy one. I mean, they look fun.
I just think they're

Speaker 2 crazy expensive. Yeah, I can get one.
Well, seriously, though, how many people are buying this? How many people can afford this? Not a lot. It's extremely

Speaker 2 decadent. You think it'll go down? Yeah.
Well, if a PlayStation 5,

Speaker 2 you can't even find, so you have to find them on the internet, and that was $2,500. It sold only 200,000 units.
Wow. That's not a lot.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 In a country as vast as we have, but

Speaker 2 with the wealth gap the way that is now, too, you're talking more and more people cannot afford it. There's no way.
It's really silly. It's crazy.
But also, you should go buy one.

Speaker 2 I'm going to buy one. You should.
Yeah. You can afford it.
You know, I've been watching online on YouTube,

Speaker 2 you know, court drama.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I, and, and,

Speaker 2 what I, if I was guilty, I wasn't guilty and I was accused of something and I get a life sentence,

Speaker 2 I don't know if I'd be stoic when the judge says the verdict.

Speaker 2 I'm going to hand it down to you right now.

Speaker 2 Order.

Speaker 2 Should I be

Speaker 2 ordering the court? But should I be stoic? You should react how you'd react.

Speaker 2 What did I do? What am I accused of doing? I'll get to it.

Speaker 2 Okay. Mr.
Lee, please be quiet.

Speaker 2 Would the court stenographer Creek Ort, please hand me my sheet?

Speaker 2 Thank you, Creek.

Speaker 2 Looking good today, Creek. Hold on, hold on.
Thank you. Hold up.

Speaker 2 I always turn to the family. Yeah, you have to turn to the family.
And no one's there.

Speaker 2 It's sad. Mr.
Lee.

Speaker 2 No, no one came. Mr.
Lee.

Speaker 2 Andrew. Mr.
Lee.

Speaker 2 Mr. Lee.
I'm not going to ask again. Oh, sorry.
Yeah. Pay attention, please.
Okay. Mr.
Lee,

Speaker 2 in the county court case, 4965,

Speaker 2 you have been accused of showing your anus in a public forum, open anus.

Speaker 2 How do you plead? Not guilty. You plead not guilty.
It only do that because the courts, when you give the verdict. Mr.
Lee,

Speaker 2 how do you plead to showing your public anus?

Speaker 2 Not guilty. Not guilty, Your Honor.
We do have this video right here that we can show you of your anus being shown in public. You still plead not guilty? I'm guilty.

Speaker 2 I'm guilty. I'm guilty.
I didn't know you had video. Mr.
Lee, I've been a judge

Speaker 2 for 36 years. Who gave you the video, Carlos? I've never seen something so egregious.
Fuck you, man. In my life.
Yeah. I'm sending to you now: 45 life,

Speaker 2 45 to life.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 2 Mr. Lee, Mr.
Lee, I've changed my mind. Because of your emotion,

Speaker 2 because of your emotion, I've changed my mind.

Speaker 2 No one's there.

Speaker 2 Fuck you, man. That's the stenographer.
Creek or yeah, that's Creek.

Speaker 2 Mr. Lee, because of your emotion.
Oh, you'll go? No, I'll go to prison. Okay.

Speaker 2 I'll suck your dick.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 In prison, I will. You're going to get more time by doing that.
Okay, all right. Don't suck the judge.
Did he say dick or dicks? He said dicks.

Speaker 2 Thank you.

Speaker 2 Thank you, Creek.

Speaker 2 Good reaction. Really? That was really good.
I would have given you less time. Really? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Cut in half for sure. Well, they don't do the guilty thing then.
They do it the trial, and then so now it's just that they're.

Speaker 2 You saw the one guy that jumped and almost tried to beat the shit out of the judge? Oh, yeah, he sentenced him and he jumped over the desk. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Or the guy, his lawyer, he's handcuffed, but he does an elbow attack. Yeah, to hit him in the yeah, yeah, and he catches him.
Yeah, God, it's so good. What would you do? Well, am I cuffed? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, you'd headbutt him.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You know how, you know, how something.
Where's the head? You know something?

Speaker 2 No, don't do that. Don't hurt that thing.
Why? Because it's going to break. He's my lawyer.
All right. All right, here we go.

Speaker 2 My lawyer, right here.

Speaker 2 Hope you hurt yourself.

Speaker 2 Well, I'm going to do this like this. It's like

Speaker 2 he's a little head. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And your lawyer's whispering to you, We're going to go away for a little while. It's not going to work out.

Speaker 2 So just give me the guilty verdict. Mr.
Lee, in the case of 495-648 showing your open butthole in public, I find you guilty.

Speaker 2 45 years to life.

Speaker 2 I knew it was going to break.

Speaker 2 Did it crack? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Bob. We could fix it.
Such a nice gift. I know.
We could fix it.

Speaker 2 That was real acting. Yeah, the acting was good.

Speaker 2 He'd be in trouble. No, he'd be fine.
You'd go to prison. It hurts, though.
Yeah, it's got to hurt. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, why? Typing now? Oh, please stop. Yeah, I can't believe it.

Speaker 2 You typed the action? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Pick that up. Pick that up.
That was an improv, right? Yeah, yeah. No.
That wasn't improvised. Pick Pick that up.
Pick that up. Script it.
Give it to me. Like, Bobby? Give it to me.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. I know.
It's okay. I can't believe you broke that.
No, we can fix it. Can we? Yeah.

Speaker 2 There we go. It looks like new.

Speaker 2 You know what's incredible about you? The fucking beautiful artist that made that will like it more now that it's broken. Do you know that? That looks better.
And if I did it, they'd be fucking livid.

Speaker 2 McCone, this is your new job. You're going to get epoxy and the glue and all that stuff, and you're going to fix that the next time we do it.
With epoxy and glue. Show me that video.

Speaker 2 I want to see that.

Speaker 2 This is so true to life. How true is this?

Speaker 2 Business woman.

Speaker 5 Going for a fart walk after dinner is something that's going to help you age wonderfully. And if you follow me, you know that my husband and I go out for fart walks most nights after dinner.

Speaker 5 So about 60 minutes after we've eaten, we put on our running shoes and off we go. Now, why do we do this? Well, we eat a lot of fiber.
So we have gas.

Speaker 2 Everybody does.

Speaker 5 And yeah, you fart when you walk. So that's why I named it that.
But the main reason that we do the fart walks is because

Speaker 5 by walking for as little as two minutes, we usually walk for about 10, 15, 20, but not really quickly. It's more of a moderate walk.

Speaker 5 We are helping reduce our chances of developing type 2 diabetes.

Speaker 2 Positive. Wow.
That's incredible. Incredible.

Speaker 2 A fart walk is genius because every time you're with your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, you eat dinner and then you sit around the house and you're holding it in. I don't.
Well, you're not.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you're trying to like hook up that night and you're trying to have a sexy night together, you should take a fart walk.
Yeah. I highly recommend a fart walk.

Speaker 2 You know, we do this.

Speaker 2 We take fart walk. You and your father? I swear to God.
I cut mine. Huh?

Speaker 2 Is that Susan Surbandon? No, it's not. Yeah, I cut my farts.
What do you mean you cut your farts? Oh, it's

Speaker 2 the butthole, right? Oh. Oh, you slowly let it slide.
No, I don't. No.

Speaker 2 God damn it, man. Yes.

Speaker 2 But let me finish.

Speaker 2 I don't think that's... I'm going to use this.
That's too big of a butthole. Let's just say this is the butthole.
No, that looks right. All right.
This is the butthole, right?

Speaker 2 What I do is I cup it like this, but with my fingers here, I spread open the cheeks a little bit. Oh.

Speaker 2 What's so funny? Carlos likes it. Yeah, I spread open the cheeks so it doesn't make a sound.
Right.

Speaker 2 So it goes

Speaker 2 in my cup, right? And then what I do is I cup it. And

Speaker 2 you can get 40% of the smell in your hand. That's a number scientifically? Yeah, I've experimented.
Where do you put it? What? And you go, hey, Charlie. Or you wave it out to the shop.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 You wave it. Hey, Frankie, whatever.

Speaker 2 Even if there was no one's there. You just wave.
Yeah. Nobody.
Hey. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay. You don't cup your farts? I do not.
Okay. Grab them? Yeah.
Yeah, I grab them. It's a gas.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I got to say this. I think healthy couples should be able to fart in front of each other.
You and Kalila farted on each other. Yeah.
That was kind of part of your tradition.

Speaker 2 You've never farted in front of your wife? Of course I have. What What are you talking about? Oh, but you were mad at me.

Speaker 2 Yeah, when you farted on my wife? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was very mad.
I didn't see a man get so mad.

Speaker 2 I was very upset. That was a line cross.
Yeah. You get really defensive around her.
When you fart on her, yeah.

Speaker 2 No. You can't fart on someone's wife.

Speaker 2 It's not even just that, pal.

Speaker 2 I don't even sneeze. It's not even just that, pal.

Speaker 2 I don't even see. Here's another thing he does, dude.
Yeah. Right? The coffee incident in Austin.
What happened in the coffee?

Speaker 2 Do you remember? What happened? You call me, go, you want coffee? I go, yeah. I walked downstairs.
I had just woken up, right?

Speaker 2 And you guys, you and your wife were sitting there. And I walk up to your wife and I go,

Speaker 2 as if, where's my coffee?

Speaker 2 And you go, and you go, hey, you go, hey, man, back up, dude. Sit there, dude.
Fuck, don't talk to my wife like that. That's right.
Why? Because I did this. What the fuck is that?

Speaker 2 You don't walk up to someone and go,

Speaker 2 yes, you do when you want coffee. Yeah, at a coffee shop.

Speaker 2 No, we were in the hotel lobby. No, he was saying this to my wife in the hotel lobby.
Okay, you weren't in the coffee shop anymore, Bobby. That's right.
Imagine, imagine.

Speaker 2 If you said that to your wife, fancy, who walked up to her like this, like she's a fucking, like she works for you. You don't ever do that.
So, yes, I made you go sit down, and you went and sat down.

Speaker 2 I said, sit down. Don't do that ever again.
Sit down.

Speaker 2 See, you don't talk to me like that. Yes, I do, and I did, and I will.
And you did. You went and sat down, didn't you? I don't know why.
You did. I know, but I did.

Speaker 2 When you talk to me like that, I don't know why I do. I feel, you know what? I blush a little bit? Because it was rude.
And I get a little angry, too. But your coffee was on the way, so just sit down.

Speaker 2 Don't you demand it. It's gotten, by the way, I asked you.
I said, can I get you something? Oh, that's right. That's what you did.
That's right. Well, that's what.
Okay.

Speaker 2 And I want to say this. And shout out to fucking, shout out to the way that you and I eat these days.

Speaker 2 We went to Three Forks. We ordered the menu.
Oh, my God. And I'm saying.
And those boys. You know, you flip me.

Speaker 2 I remember when we first started touring, I said, Bob, you don't need to get all those appetizers. I know you do it now, too.
You know why? Why? Can I show you?

Speaker 2 Can I say it on here? Good. I love it.

Speaker 2 Because you touched a piece of my heart.

Speaker 2 And I'm going to tell the fans.

Speaker 2 I'm going to tell the fans. Bobby came up to me one night.
We were walking. And in all seriousness, he said, hey,

Speaker 2 you have your thing. You can go have a drink with someone and go hang out.
But all I have is food.

Speaker 2 That's all I've got. How are you doing right now?

Speaker 2 No, he's not back. Please don't say he's back.

Speaker 2 Is that Carmine?

Speaker 2 You know, you come back.

Speaker 2 It's exactly what we're talking about right now.

Speaker 2 So, what? This is why I love you. So, yeah, so now what he did.
No, you got serious.

Speaker 2 And you're not letting me be serious. You were being serious.
Oh, you're being fearful. You were being serious.

Speaker 2 And you said,

Speaker 2 I'm an addict. This is all I have.
You got to let me have this. And you were very serious.
You got emotional. And I said, you know what? You're right.

Speaker 2 Why would I keep you from enjoying something like this? So, next couple of times we went out, including in the perpetuity, we order anything you want,

Speaker 2 anything you want, as much as you want.

Speaker 2 I even say to you, Hello, you're a beast on toast.

Speaker 2 You want a fucking shot. Thanks for being a bad friend.
Thanks for being a bad friend.

Speaker 2 Okay, very good.