Bobby Loves Giant Melons

Speaker 1 Hey, guys, we have new merchy merch. Merchy merchy merch.

Speaker 1 This is like a fear-loathing kind of a vibe. This is like a shout-out to the Beastie Boys album.
They come in a ton of different colors. Yeah.
A ton of different varieties.

Speaker 1 We've got crew necks, hoodies, long sleeves, all sorts of fun stuff for you. Go to badfriendsmerch.com to get that now.
Badfriendsmerch.c.com. I am running

Speaker 1 new jokes to put together my new hour. I'm in Houston, Tampa, Phoenix, Nashville, Dallas, San Francisco.
I'm just doing a bunch of clubs to put together the new hour.

Speaker 1 Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets. AndrewSantino.com.
You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 My dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 We're bad friends. Hi.
Hi.

Speaker 1 Hey. Hi.
Hey, it's good. Wow, Long Beach.
I know this is good, but that was good, huh? I loved Long Beach. That was such a fun thing.
Did you not have so much fun? Not just fun.

Speaker 1 It was just kind of magical, too. And when there's sometimes there's magic.
There was magic in the air. Yeah.
And I'll tell you this. Proud moment.
What's your proud moment? Proud boy moment? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think a proud boy moment last night was all of our agents and managers showing up simultaneously and talking. And they talked, actually, for the first time in a long time.

Speaker 1 There was hugs going on, talking. I was like, what's going on? Couple of hugs.
A couple of hugs. Not a lot of hugs.
And then I had all... What? What about the goop?

Speaker 1 That was the win. I was going to let you get there.
I didn't want you to get cut off by one of the producers. I wanted you to get there organically, but that's okay.

Speaker 1 I know we were gonna get there, too. The proud moment last night was for the fans hearing backstage people go, goop, goop, goop, goop.
The goop did five minutes. Ten.
Ten minutes? I don't even know.

Speaker 1 I mean, he. Yeah, and you told me.

Speaker 1 I told him.

Speaker 1 What did I say? Can we just talk?

Speaker 1 So you came up to me and said, the goop can only do like, like, just bring him up and then take him out. Well, here's why.
I know, I understand why. We started 25 minutes late.

Speaker 1 The fans, I was like, oh,

Speaker 1 people are going to get ornery. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And also, this is my production brain, the seats were, there was no middle row. So if you were in the middle and you had to get up to piss, you had to get up and be

Speaker 1 for like 60 seats. Yeah.
So I was like, man, people are going to be antsy to get the show going. So we started late.
Then we had two of our friends who are store employees go up

Speaker 1 first.

Speaker 1 So now the show is, you know, now we're getting deep into the show. And I thought, all right, if Goop goes on now and drags his feet, we're in some trouble.
But when I talk to him,

Speaker 1 I know, but here's what happens. You tell me maybe the goop shouldn't do it or maybe just say hi.
Because he was so nervous about it. He goes, I don't want to do it.

Speaker 1 The first thing about the goop, dude. He came through.
Not just came through. Guys like the goop, dude, they say, I don't know what I'm doing.
I'm sweaty. You know what I mean? I eat Skittles.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? You know what I mean? I have... All these conditions.
Yeah, diabetes. Yeah.
Right? He goes up there and he hits a home run. And I realized that night, I go, he's one of those.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he he's a liar.

Speaker 1 He walks around going, I don't know nothing, but you know everything. Yeah, he does.
Right? He's like my brother in that way. My brother acts shy and stuff, but then he can do it.
He can do all of it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he can do all of it. My point is: is that Goop, you're a liar.
I bet you, Muddy, too, he taps ass. Yeah, he taps ass.
Probably five times a night. We're not aware.
We think he's five.

Speaker 1 Five different women. Wow.
Wow.

Speaker 1 And men.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 And one gerbil. Oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And that gerbil dies.
Well, a painful death. You get a new one.
Just

Speaker 1 inside.

Speaker 1 He hits himself. What? He hangs himself.
No, he's in the hole. He's in his asshole.
He just grabs a butthair and just brings it inside.

Speaker 1 Yeah. The goop crushed last night.
He crushed. And then who else crushed? Ramsey and Angie, two employees of the store, did great on the show.
They still opened the show.

Speaker 1 Then the goop, then Jetsky, and Bobby, and me, and the crowd was on fire. And then Angie, today she goes, thank you for the greatest moment of my life.
Really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 She said it was the best moment of her life. You have to understand, these people that work the door, what they get the belly room, the OR every once in a while.

Speaker 1 They don't get thousands and thousands of people cheering them on, you know? And so it was a magical moment for her. And then

Speaker 1 some celebrities showed up. We want to name who, but some celebrities showed up.

Speaker 1 We could say that's not a big deal.

Speaker 1 Our friends, Rob McElhaney and Caitlin Olson showed up. Yeah.
From Always Sunny showed up. Yes.
Super sweet and kind.

Speaker 1 They absolutely love the show. Rob texted me this morning.
Yeah, yeah. And he was like, how fucking fun.
Oh, wow. So happy for you guys.
He was like, how fun.

Speaker 1 And I told him, I said, I'm giving you a heads up. This is not a typical stand-up show.
Like, cause they were like, hey, we want to come to that show. And I said, it's not going to be what you think.

Speaker 1 It's going to be weird. There's going to be stand-up.
There's going to be bits from the show. It's going to be kind of unique for our audience, for the bad friend.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And bad friends' audiences, they know what's coming. Yeah.
And he was like, it was perfect. It was so.
yeah, he was so, they were both like, oh my God, they were so sweet backstage.

Speaker 1 Oh, dude, who else did we have? Are you kidding me? We have Dunfounded back there. We had your boy Gene Hong.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 We had a lot of cool people come. And then

Speaker 1 the agents.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 Can we get some money before we leave?

Speaker 1 Oh, this is what they did. Yeah.
They flew into my dressing room. Oh, they first went into your dressing room.
Yeah, they all went into mine. Yeah.
Your agents came into my room. I know.

Speaker 1 All my agents went into it. I was like, I was like, what are they? I heard the flapping and the insect eating antennas.

Speaker 1 Buzzing around.

Speaker 1 We're making fun of agents because they're just kind of buzzing. Yeah, they're buzzing.
Yeah. They're always like, so they came into my room.

Speaker 1 They're biz buzzing by you. And they were like, this is our new one.
So they had a new agent. Yeah, they did bring somebody new.
You're right. And they're saying, she's your girl now.

Speaker 1 Like it's some sort of sacrifice or something.

Speaker 1 Right. And then I go, who is she? She's like, she's the one.
And every year, there's a one. There's a one.
They promise me the world.

Speaker 1 And guess what? None of it happens. I don't even get the world.
I get knocked down. You get like

Speaker 1 you get like Ohio. You don't get the world.
You get Ohio. Ohio.
I get a couple of gigs, a couple of lines and some things. But they're always like, it's coming.
You're the next bit. It's not.
Nah.

Speaker 1 And you know what? When you realize that. That's okay.
It's great. Yeah.
I feel more at bay. I feel more at peace with the world.
It is what it is. It is what it is, dude.

Speaker 1 Also, last night, pulling the Australian kid from the crowd was great. Oh, he was fantastic.
Dude,

Speaker 1 what a sweet boy. And it's nice to know we got fans down and.

Speaker 1 He didn't kiss me, though. I was a little annoyed by that.
Annoyed. Yeah, pissed me off.
I would have killed. Because here you were, face to face.
You're a handsome guy. He's a handsome guy.

Speaker 1 Why not make the moment more special? Why not make the moment a little bit more special and give one little smooch? That's all you wanted. Yeah, but you kept like, I was like, I can't force it.

Speaker 1 I know. There's thousands of people watching.
Three, actually. Yeah, that'd be bad.
Yeah, yeah. A lot of witnesses.
Your honor, we have all the witnesses. Yeah, it was a beautiful theater, too.

Speaker 1 What a beautiful. That's where Richard Pryor shot Richard Pryor live in 1979.
Wow. Do you know that? Sometimes I'm like, wow, this is crazy, but zoom in if you don't mind.

Speaker 1 At the bottom, this was in the hallway on the way to the stage. I saw it.

Speaker 1 And it says, on December 10th, 1979, Richard Pryor filmed Richard Pryor live in concert right here on the Terrace Theater stage.

Speaker 1 Hailed as the single greatest stand-up performance ever captured on film.

Speaker 1 This film not only had raw humor on police brutality, sex, race, marriage, but also helped kick off the stand-up boom of the 1980s.

Speaker 1 Performing in the same stage as Richard Pryor is both an aspiration and a profound honor, symbolizing the completion of a comedic journey. Break a leg out there.

Speaker 1 I thought that was what a beautiful thing. And I read that literally before we started the show.
Wow. Because I kind of saw the poster.

Speaker 1 You see posters as you pass through these hallways and you think, oh, they showed like Elvis had performed there. They said the Beatles, like they had all the posters in the basement.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it is amazing. You're like, we're sharing these stage.
But this just hit me in the chest for some reason. It was like, wow, this dude filmed there, chose there.
The Beatles performed there?

Speaker 1 Beatles. And the Rolling Stones, probably.
Beatles, Stones, Elvis. Dude, the basement was the amount of people that performed there was shocking.
Yeah. And I think we forget sometimes.

Speaker 1 We're in that same venue. We're not Elvis.

Speaker 1 First of all, we are Elvis. No, we're not.
We are our Elvis. Yeah, Elvis.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. We're Elvis with a butthole.
Elvis didn't show the audience their butthole. Yes, he did.
That's why he would shake

Speaker 1 forth. He was loosening it.
Like, I 69 the fucking Australian guy last night with my ass out. Yeah, yeah, Elvis didn't have the balls to do that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I'm like 69ing this guy, this Australian guy, he's freaking out. And I look, and I see my manager looking at me going.

Speaker 1 And I'm like,

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. There was a tape I heard.
Google this. Elvis talking to girlfriend from war.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 There was a recorded phone call of Elvis talking to his girlfriend over the phone from war. No, it's funny.

Speaker 1 She's like pissed off because she's like, What's going on out there with all the other girls? And he's like, I don't know. There's no other girls, baby.
She's like, Yeah, this is it. This is it.

Speaker 1 Okay, good. Play this.

Speaker 1 I don't think anything about not talking

Speaker 1 because you don't think of me. Well, because she don't miss me.
Well, that's why. Oh, shit.
Well, that's what it seems like to me, Elvis.

Speaker 1 See, he's dealing with it. They haven't

Speaker 1 changed. They haven't changed.

Speaker 1 Cavemen did this. You hear what I mean?

Speaker 1 I was. I wasn't though.

Speaker 1 Wow. They haven't changed.
She says at some point,

Speaker 1 I'm not a baby. I'm a grown lady.
She says at some point, I want to smack you and beat the shit out of you. Yeah.
She's like, I want to hurt you and hit you.

Speaker 1 But you hear this whole Anita Wood conversation, and I swear to God, I had the same thought I thought.

Speaker 1 It's the same. Nothing was different.
We have this fascination that back then there was like a glitz and a glamour to it. Where it's like, you know, where it's like, my love, I miss you so much.

Speaker 1 I can't wait to get, she's like, I miss you too. I can't wait to feel your embrace.
And so she's like, I want to hit you in your fucking head, Elvis.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And he's like, you ain't going to do that.
You ain't going to do that. Yeah.
It's exactly what happens today. Nothing's different.

Speaker 1 He had

Speaker 1 power that we don't have now. Well, he was the global thing.
He could literally walk into anywhere. Hey, baby.
Yeah, but

Speaker 1 listen.

Speaker 1 And they were like, okay, I mean, there's no other.

Speaker 1 I mean, it wouldn't even.

Speaker 1 That's how much fame he had. Yeah, sure.
This is when like the Beatles would show up and people would faint.

Speaker 1 Who faints now? If somebody fainted for you,

Speaker 1 I'd love every single second of it. No, I would be concerned.
I go, are you okay? You know, get them to the hospital. No, I'd leave them there.

Speaker 1 No kidding. Well, anyway, we share the stage with some of these great legends last night, and we only have four shows left.
And boy, oh, boy, is it

Speaker 1 four?

Speaker 1 It's only four left. We're doing well, Australia.
In the United States. Oh.
Yeah, no, yes. We are going to Australia in November.
The dates are going to be announced. Finally, we are doing it.

Speaker 1 We are going. We're going to go.
I bet you money in 2025. We'll go back out.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I bet you money. If it's okay, I'll bet you anything you've got because it would take two of us to say yes.
Okay,

Speaker 1 and I'm not going to say, yes. Yeah, yeah.
Really? I think I want to reformulate the, I think I want to work on my hours. Okay, we're 2026 then.
26 will be out. And that's the last one.

Speaker 1 And then we're done. For good, yeah.
Yeah, we'll be fun. Dunk for good.
Fuck that. You know that's not true.
You and I are doing this until we can't do it anymore. I don't know, man.
Fuck you.

Speaker 1 What do you got for me? Fuck you, dude. What do you got going on? We don't know.

Speaker 1 We don't know what... Stardew Valley.
Stardew Valley? Honda Chocolatier's Tears. Oh, can I say another thing about you? Yeah, go ahead.
I know what you're going to do. What am I going to do?

Speaker 1 Because you do it to me during the meet and greets.

Speaker 1 If a fan says anything to me about anything I'm interested in, which they almost never do, but if a fan says, hey, Santino, can I ask you a question about XYZ?

Speaker 1 You always go, oh, get the fuck out of here. No, but...
But then when you go,

Speaker 1 am I wrong, Carlos? You're there every time. He's there every time, and he knows.
Go ahead.

Speaker 1 When they bring up golf, you get really mad because it's about your dad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because I have trauma associated with that. That's not true.
Don't do that. That's such a true.
I'll say this. He gets mad because it's not about him.
The selfish self-peace is dead.

Speaker 1 That's not why. You get mad because it's not about you.
I'm going to tell you something you did last night.

Speaker 1 I'm going to tell you what you did last night, and it's fucking wrong. I'm glad you brought it up, dude.
Go ahead. You brought it up, you dummy.

Speaker 1 Dummy?

Speaker 1 I'm going to tell you what I'm saying. You get mad when it's not about you for three seconds.
You talk about golf, it's fine. I'll just roll my eyes.
That's what you did.

Speaker 1 But it never happens is a thing. They always talk about your stuff.
Yeah, thank you, Carlos. Thank you, Carlos.
Oh, really? No, that's true, though. No, can I just say what you're talking about?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you don't like the truth. You don't like the truth.
Yeah, yeah. Every fucking nerd comes up, I have a Star Wars shake that I made with our faces on it.

Speaker 1 And then I just sit there and smile, and I don't, and I'm not rude, and then you go, who's your favorite kid?

Speaker 1 Whatever. I just let you do it.
But then last night, you were fucking ho-ho-humming on about fucking farming. No, that's a good thing.

Speaker 1 So a girl comes up to me and she goes,

Speaker 1 there's going to be a new,

Speaker 1 not DLC, but a new update for Stardew Valley. I go, well, maybe I should start a new main farm then.
She's like, you should. I go.

Speaker 1 And then we start talking about, like, I go, about the melons and how the gigantic melon forms.

Speaker 1 When you crop like the same kind of seed, sometimes with cauliflower melon, a gigantic one forms, and then you have to chop it down with an axe. That's the whoa.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's fine. But then what you, whoa, that's fine, but this is what you.
Fuck you.

Speaker 1 Stop. Stop.
And then this is what you did.

Speaker 1 Look at how big it is. Right.
But then for four or five minutes, you go, melons, you fucking nerd. Yep.
And you rub it in my face. Even after like 10 minutes go by, you'll go, fucking melons, dude.

Speaker 1 Chopping down with an axe. Fuck you.
And I'm like, dude, I don't say that about when you talk about girls. Yeah, you do.

Speaker 1 When anybody says anything nice to me, you go, oh, shut the fuck up. You talk about sports.

Speaker 1 You're racist the way you just did my fucking.

Speaker 1 That's fucking racist, dude. Have you not been? Did you see that? Have you not been watching this show?

Speaker 1 Are you not on this show, dumbass? You didn't do it in a comedy way. You did it in a fucking racist way, dude.
Really, dude? Again, look at that.

Speaker 1 Really, dude? Well, the lights are hitting me, bro.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Anyway, fuck you, dude. Fuck you.
Anyway. Loser.
See?

Speaker 1 I'm not a loser, dude. I'm a winner.
I'm tired of people. Whatever you need to tell to yourself, dude.
Yeah, I'm a winner. Nerd.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Can I just explain to you what happens?

Speaker 1 And I think we're miss right when you plant melons in it. Yeah, dude.
No, just let me finish. I think you're misunderstanding.

Speaker 1 I'm going to see you in your underwear with like food on your belly, just being like, look at how thick the watermelons are.

Speaker 1 You're fucking, you're idiocracy. You're literally what Mike Judge wrote about.
Yeah. Like just numb,

Speaker 1 stuffed with junk food, watching a melon. The melon is big.

Speaker 1 You know what's so funny?

Speaker 1 I'm about to walk, dude.

Speaker 1 I'm about to walk, dude.

Speaker 1 You really got me on the fence, dude.

Speaker 1 I like some of the nerd shit. You and I share a lot of nerd shit in common, actually.
Well, then there we go. What the fuck's the problem, dog? But let's be honest.
Okay. All jokes aside.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know I love when you connect with the fans. I don't like it when you're mean to me about what I like with the fans.
That's my retaliation.

Speaker 1 Because if a fan goes, Santino, I'm wearing a bull's jacket. And you immediately make fun of them.
I don't make fun of the fans for liking your stop.

Speaker 1 I don't make fun of the fans for liking your stuff. I make fun of you when they're gone.
Am I right, Carlos? You see it firsthand

Speaker 1 firsthand. You see it firsthand.
Look at the way he paused. No, he knows.
No, he's trying to. No, here's what it is.

Speaker 1 Because you're such a fucking manipulative

Speaker 1 bully. Look at what he's doing now.
Andrew is right.

Speaker 1 Thank you. I know it is.
You get mad at the spot. I know, but does it carry over into two or three other.
Well, this is a whole new argument. Yeah, it's a whole new argument.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 You're making a total. I let it go quickly.
Yeah, but but you.

Speaker 1 I'll say you let it go quickly. Yeah, yeah.
He does not. But you bully the sellers.
He seethes it. But you bully the fans.
And I don't bully your fans. I don't.
Oh, you don't bully my fans. No.

Speaker 1 We just went over this two seconds ago. Like, when they go, we got you gummy bear.
You're like, gummy bears. No, I've never done that.
I know, you're, I just made that up. I just made that up.

Speaker 1 I just made that up. Thank you.
See? Yeah, you're right. I made that up.
Let's get back. I don't even know why we're fucking.
I'm not fighting with you. Can I just say that?

Speaker 1 I don't want to fight with you.

Speaker 1 I love you. I don't know, man.
I'm I'm supportive as fuck of you and you. I know you are, but I'm just saying, you know,

Speaker 1 here's one thing that happened with one of your fans. He goes, this has never happened with any of my fans.

Speaker 1 He looked at me and goes, I just went a photo with Andrew. And it happened in Atlanta.
Do you remember that? And it hurt my feelings. Okay.
Well, none of my fans would do that.

Speaker 1 Here's how selfish and unaware you are if you want to get into this. Many, many, many, if not multiple times every time.
You've named one shitty instance. Multiple times.

Speaker 1 Do we have fans in the meet and greet? Multiple times. They beeline to you.
They're so excited. They say hi.
They don't even look at me. What's the like, baby? Or say hi.

Speaker 1 Or say hi. Well, if they knew the real you,

Speaker 1 if they knew the real you, but

Speaker 1 they don't even say hi or look at me. And I just politely do the thing and take the.
Oh, let's move on. Let's go.
Oh, you don't like that.

Speaker 1 Oh, you don't like when it's real? Yeah, yeah. No, because I want to go.
I handle it professionally. I have nothing else.
Yeah, you don't.

Speaker 1 Thank you. I handle it professionally and I move on and I move forward.
Let's talk about something more fun that can get you and I, because as best friends, I don't want to. I don't know, man.

Speaker 1 Shut up. Don't do that.

Speaker 1 What are you doing? Don't say, I don't know. I do know.
Say, I love you right now. One, two, three.
Right. I love you.
Oh, you son of a God. Say it.
I won't. Not right now.
Say I love you. At the end.

Speaker 1 No, say it. Why? Say it or I won't move forward.

Speaker 1 You're acting like such a baby today. Say, I love you.
I won't. I don't like when people tell me when to say it.
Say I love you. You know I do, right? Say it.
Do you not I do?

Speaker 1 I don't know it right now. Right.
There are times where I love you.

Speaker 1 What's that laugh?

Speaker 1 I don't know it right now. Okay.
I want to say it around the road. Andres,

Speaker 1 I love you. McConne?

Speaker 1 I like you.

Speaker 1 Carlos, I like you. I don't get love? No.

Speaker 1 Not lately. Not lately.

Speaker 1 Andrew.

Speaker 1 Cheers.

Speaker 1 That's so much better. Cheers is like, you know, you're putting a glass up to the world.
They clink it. They did it at Lord of the Rings during the day.
Well, you're sober, so let's not do a cheers.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 let's do a liner. Do people, when they smoke crack, when people smoke crack, do they cheers pipes with other people? It's fucking grock.
That's so funny.

Speaker 1 Do they do do a little clink and then lose teeth? Yeah. Say, I love you right now.
Why? Say it. I love you.
Say it for real. I swear to God, I just said it.
Look me in the face and say it for real.

Speaker 1 Otherwise, we will end the show. Tonight.
Well, you're acting like such a baby. You know what? Can I say something? You need to grow out of this.

Speaker 1 It is so funny when he says you're acting like a baby, knowing

Speaker 1 you're the biggest baby.

Speaker 1 You're the biggest baby I know. All right, I love you, man.
I love you, too. Love you, Delude.
All right, let's do something real. I love everything, dude.
No, no, you don't.

Speaker 1 McCone, let's talk about McCone. Oh, boy.
This fucking idiot. Get up to the mic, you dumbass.
This moron. Oh, first of all, duck down so you can talk to the mic.
Yes, keep your head like that.

Speaker 1 So this moron, we're leaving Sacramento, right? It's a 30-minute ride from the hotel to the airport, okay? We get to the airport, right? Plenty of time. It was not too early in the morning.

Speaker 1 It was fine, right? We had a noon flight. Plenty of time.

Speaker 1 We get there. McCone, in a moment of panic, says, I left my car keys in the hotel, right? And I said,

Speaker 1 dude, what are you going to do? And he goes, well, I don't know. I'm calling around to people and I'm trying to figure out how I can do my week without my car because I have an extra key.

Speaker 1 My roommate can bring it to me, but it won't unlock my car because I need the digital whoop because somebody tried to break into my car with with a screwdriver. This guy's whole life.
It's Kramer.

Speaker 1 He's Kramer, right? So then I said, okay, dude, then you need your original car key. Otherwise, you're not going to be able to get into your car.

Speaker 1 And who knows if they're going to ship it, blah, blah, blah. My assumption, Andrew Santino's assumption, he's already contacted the hotel about his key.
Of course, you would obviously.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Bobby. This fucking moron didn't do that.
No. He decides.

Speaker 1 He decides, I'm just going to take a car to the hotel because I'm pretty sure it's there, not checking his own backpack on his person. Wait.

Speaker 1 not checking his own backpack on his person,

Speaker 1 gets off of our flight, doesn't take our flight, books another flight, pays for a flight to go to LAX instead of to go to Burbank. And what happens, Dumbo?

Speaker 1 Okay, well, first of all, he found the keys in his bag. I know that.
The keys were in his bag the whole time. The whole time.
I have a new backpack.

Speaker 1 I'm not familiar with all the crevices, how deep they go.

Speaker 1 I was rifling the whole car ride and I couldn't find it. Well, then, you know what? If it's too many crevasses, we need to get you a one-bag crevasse, which is a purse.

Speaker 1 We're getting you a purse for the next tour, and all your stuff is going in one bag. Is this fair? Yeah.
You're getting a purse. That's fair.

Speaker 1 To be honest, Bobby, when he heard this story, said, you sometimes lose keys in your backpack. Me? No.
Him. Bobby? Oh,

Speaker 1 that night before Bobby left Long Beach. I don't know.
I went back in the room and I said, Jesse, there's a charge in one of the rooms. Is that yours? She said, No, it's Bobby's.

Speaker 1 I think he's about to leave. Can you grab that?

Speaker 1 I cannot. I went back in the room.
Can't notice this. This is up.

Speaker 1 I went back in the room. Bobby's car keys.
Wow. I cannot have his car keys.
Oh, my God, dude. I can't can't air this podcast.

Speaker 1 We can't air this podcast because I'm about to go off now. Light him up.
All right. All right.
Light him up. Hey, guy.
Light him up. Let me say something, guy, all right? Light him up.
Did I leave?

Speaker 1 Did he leave? You were about to leave. No, it wasn't.
I was having you. You were like, oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Don't talk to me like that. I'm your boss.

Speaker 1 Don't talk to me like that. I'm your boss.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Number one, I was out there smoking a cigarette with friends. I haven't left yet.
You had all your. And can I say this too? You shitbox.
You fucking RR. Okay.

Speaker 1 My car was right there. Yeah.
What happened is this. Oh,

Speaker 1 my keys are back in there. Yep.
What's the big deal? Yep. Did I go to the airport and forget it? No.
No, you didn't. You didn't have to because I was there.
No, you weren't there to save me.

Speaker 1 I didn't save it. You weren't there.

Speaker 1 What? No, you weren't. I didn't save you.
You didn't save shit, dude. And here's another thing you didn't save.
Your job.

Speaker 1 You're fired, you piece of shit.

Speaker 1 How could you talk to me like that? Honestly, you white fuckers, dude. It is the whites.
It's the whites.

Speaker 1 You would not talk to Andrew that way. No, no.
To be honest with you. No.
And let me say something.

Speaker 1 The little relationship that you and I had

Speaker 1 is now severed. It's gone.

Speaker 1 It didn't exist.

Speaker 1 Fuck you.

Speaker 1 And let me say that. I was nice to your fucking parents.
Yeah. He wasn't.
Right? Your farmer parents. Like, hey, man.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? You know what they think? Oh, this is what outside of the woods looks like. I'm like, yeah, welcome.

Speaker 1 Well, the one thing you did like about his dad was he talked about those big watermelons. He was like, big watermelons out there.
Yeah. Got to cut them down.
Is that a Stardew Valley? It is, yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, stop. Come on, it's a fun.
Stop the fun and stop that. Stop that.

Speaker 1 Anyway, get back off the post.

Speaker 1 So get back with the post. So

Speaker 1 Andre, oh, no, let's go back to this. Andreas, fuck you two, dude.
Oh, I like this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just said to you, just to make McCone feel better, I go, well, yeah, sometimes I lose my keys in my bag just to make him feel better. Right.

Speaker 1 But you just just use it against me, make me look like me look a fool. No, just to how sympathetic you are.
See that in the mic.

Speaker 1 What did he say? I don't even know, but I think it's a fucking bad thing. Yeah, me too.
It was just to show how sympathetic you are. Wow.
Oh, I see. I thought you said pathetic.

Speaker 1 I think you said pathetic, too. And I was about to go rage.
Yeah, man. I was hoping.
I was like, dude, this is going to get good. Yeah, yeah.
I might break a neck. Morgan.
You're getting in Morgan.

Speaker 1 It's 2024 now, so let's talk about something important. Yep.
If you get injured by a person, place or thing, and you deserve to get paid, right? Yeah, you do.

Speaker 1 Life can be crazy sometimes, Andrew, and one of the biggest negligence can result in another settlement. And that's why, if you're in an accident, not calling a lawyer means you can lose out.

Speaker 1 You could be leaving millions of dollars on the table, okay? Who knows? I was T-boned in my own neighborhood. I've told you this story, and it bummed me out.
I didn't know where to turn.

Speaker 1 I wish I had Morgan Morgan because they're America's largest injury law firm. They have over 100 offices nationwide, more than 1,000 lawyers

Speaker 1 with over $20 billion recovered. Keep going, man.
For over 500,000 clients. Yeah.
Morgan Morgan has a proven track record fighting to get you full and fair compensation.

Speaker 1 Submitting an injury claim with Morgan Morgan is so easy. You know,

Speaker 1 building an ottoman out of clay is hard. That's exactly true.
But submitting an injury claim with Morgan Morgan is easy. Juggling with knives on fire is hard.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan is easy. If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan.
Their fee is free unless they win.

Speaker 1 And for more information, go to forthepeople.com slash bad friends or dial pound law pound529 from your cell phone. That's for the people.

Speaker 1 thepeople.com slash bad friends or pound law pound529 from your cell. This is a paid advertisement.

Speaker 1 Zock Doc.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you what, pal.

Speaker 1 Zock Doc has changed my life. Yeah.
Because let me say, but I don't even know where to go for doctor's talk. Me neither.
I never know. Yeah, you call friends.
They don't know. Nobody knows.

Speaker 1 No, it's okay. And also, I don't know the doctors, right? I want reviews.
You need to know that people have gone to them before and used it. It's my health.
It's my life at stake.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and we need a good life out of you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you're concerned, if you're looking for something new, if you've moved like me, I moved into a new neighborhood, Zock Doc is the place where you can find and book doctors who will make you feel comfortable and actually listen to you.

Speaker 1 We're not talking about a few, we're talking about tens of thousands of doctors, all with verified patient reviews, so you can make sure the vibes are vibing before you meet IRL.

Speaker 1 That's in real life, as the kids say, you've got more options than you know.

Speaker 1 Zock Doc is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just check out Zock Doc, the place where you can find and book doctors who will make you feel comfortable, listen to you, and

Speaker 1 prioritize your health. That's exactly right.
All these docs are verified reviews from actual real patients. The typical wait time to see a doctor booked on Zock Doc is between 24 to 72 hours.

Speaker 1 That's it. You can even score same-day appointments.
If you're looking for a new doc, you got to use Zock Doc. Tell them where to go, Bob.

Speaker 1 Go to ZocDoc.com/slash bad friends and download the Zock Doc app for free. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today.

Speaker 1 That's ZocDoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash bad friends, ZocDoc.com slash bad friends. McCone, let's just start some boundaries.
I'm going to start some boundaries with everyone in this room right now.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 You're fine. Thank you.
I love you. I love you too, man.
Thank you. You're welcome, dude.
I'm glad we're back. Get rid of these guys.
No.

Speaker 1 The boundary is this. I think I've been too nice.
I pinch your ass.

Speaker 1 Don't I pinch your ass in a loving way? What's so funny, man? A loving way. It's just the ass pitching.
Yeah. I don't do it like a rub, like a sexual.
I just pinch it. I know.
I see. You're cute.

Speaker 1 What a cutie Spanish. right? You, McCone, dude.
I swear to God, dude, it's gonna take a while for you to get back. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Take it back. What you said.
But don't say anything.

Speaker 1 But take it back. But don't say a word.
Very good. Good.
Carlos, I don't know what you did.

Speaker 1 You did good. Thank you, man.
Carlos has stepped up a lot. By the way, Goop, the goop, when he got off stage.
Let's talk about the goop. Did you see? What?

Speaker 1 He came up to me and I said, Goop, man, you did so good. And he goes, Thank you.
Andrew, I

Speaker 1 just, I, I, and, um, and then he pulls out of his pocket a pack of sour Skittles. Yeah, I did.
And I said, is that your little celebration, Skittles?

Speaker 1 And he said, well, not till I don't have to talk anymore because I don't want my mouth to get cut when I'm still here. He just lied to you.
Why? He ate them there? No. What?

Speaker 1 The Skittles were a fallback plan. What do you mean? To his act.

Speaker 1 Is that real? Yeah. He goes, I'm bringing Skittles up here because

Speaker 1 if I'm bombing, I can eat the Skittles.

Speaker 1 And I go, it's a prop?

Speaker 1 He goes, yeah. I really love that guy.
Right. And since he killed, he didn't need to use it.
So he lied to you, dude. Wow, dude.
That's two lies out of the goop. Yeah, two lies, dude.

Speaker 1 Well, hold on, Lance. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. I can't believe it.
I thought you were kidding that you got Lance. And I was like.
Okay, look, we have to tell, I'll tell our audience.

Speaker 1 We have a guest on the show today who I met at the comedy store. I'm kind of a fan of, a new fan.
Never Never really met him. You guys have never met? I'm a fan of the albums.

Speaker 1 All right, Lance, can you please come in here and take a seat down there?

Speaker 1 Great to see you, man. It's great to see you live.

Speaker 1 Which one? Blue or? Blue is fine. Yeah, blue.
Blue is good. Blue? Yeah, yeah.
Unless you want pink. You like pink?

Speaker 1 Blue is good, right? Yeah, it's good. Put on your headphones there, Lance, if you don't mind.
Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 You have water?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we have water, man. Yeah, man.
Demand is pretty crazy. I know.
It's It's just standard is all.

Speaker 1 Probably a water right by your foot there, Lance. Okay, cool.

Speaker 1 Wow. Thanks, man.
I fan too, dude. You've seen it.
Yeah, no, for real. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, you won a lot of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 What have you seen him in that you like? New Sex City.

Speaker 1 That one. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that one. What else? You don't have to put those on if you don't want.
No, I put them on. I pro, man.
I do podcasts. I know how it works.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you have your own podcast? Yeah. No, I don't.
I used to back in the day, but then I got close on a Hollywood job, so I delete, delete, delete

Speaker 1 you know paper trail you seem pro-israel to me whoa bro out the gate dude what out the gate oh the gate

Speaker 1 let me thrive before cancel all right give me a minute outside of our show in long beach there was a pro-palestine march and half of the fans said they couldn't get through the traffic i know to get in were you down there by any chance perhaps right

Speaker 1 i don't want to yeah i don't want to ruffle those feathers so i've seen you at the comedy store you're a pretty funny guy thanks dude um you're on your way up you've only been doing it for half a year i I mean, I'm there.

Speaker 1 On my way up. You think you're.
Oh, you're on your way up. Why am I here?

Speaker 1 If I'm on my way up, why am I here? Well, I mean, I'm doing this as a little bit of. No, I know.
I'm just saying I kind of arrived. It's pretty cool.
Right, right. This is cool.
This is cool. But

Speaker 1 how long have you been doing stand-up? Well, I don't like his energy right now. It's a little aggressive.
It's a little aggressive. Yeah.
Yeah, but this is. Come back in, maybe.

Speaker 1 What, the redo come in? Yeah, yeah, redo it.

Speaker 1 Redo it, man. I so comfy right now.
All right. Well, Lance stay there then.
Maybe I marinate on it, and then if I want to redo, I redo. All right, you could redo it, yeah.
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 What if I come in? It's even cockier.

Speaker 1 You go down. Let's see if we can do that.
Maybe cocky?

Speaker 1 Oh, I can go cocky. Yeah, I go cocky.
That was me reining it in, Bobby. Okay, let me see what

Speaker 1 humble coming in. I want to see what you want to do.
You're probably dancing, huh? Mino filter? Yeah, yeah. Mino filter coming in.
We don't want a filter, we want you to be free. Okay, straight up.

Speaker 1 You are. Okay, here we go.

Speaker 1 You ask, I put a limiter on it, but you go full lance on it.

Speaker 1 Ladies and gentlemen, our guest Lance Canstopoulos is here.

Speaker 1 Where the fuck do you want me to sit?

Speaker 1 All right, Lance. Maybe you sit down in the blue chair there.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wow. Wow.

Speaker 1 So, my childhood, growing up, it was tough.

Speaker 1 Do you have a power raid?

Speaker 1 I went power raid this time. I was being humble, going water.
We don't have power raids. Sorry.

Speaker 1 Where did you grow up, Lance?

Speaker 1 I don't really say where I grow up. Okay.
You know, I'm not doing like a one-man show. Who give a shit?

Speaker 1 Tell some jokes, you know? Yeah, yeah. Wow.
And then my dad told me, who give a fuck? What's funny? Yeah. I don't care about your bio.

Speaker 1 I don't want a spotlight of you on stage and then this happened to me. So when you see comics, you don't like them when they get personal and talk about their own lives.
No, I go, who give a fuck?

Speaker 1 From the back. Right.
Because I'm up next. Right.
Everyone crying. Right.
So you like to talk just joke. People eating chicken fingers.
Chingers. What the fuck? Whoa.
You know, Freudian slip.

Speaker 1 Where are my fucking wander going? Dude, he just called me a Chinger, dude, and I don't like it. I love it.
Did you hear it? Yeah, Chinger. Chinger.

Speaker 1 I'm not a Chinger. I spill a little.
That is... I'm a Chinga.
Chinga.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's like Mexican stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, Chingo or Chinga.
Chinga tomare. It's probably a food.
Yeah, it's a good food. Lance, what, um, how long have you been doing stand-up, Lance?

Speaker 1 Not long, dude. Maybe, what, five years or?

Speaker 1 Do you have any material out? Do you have specials? I don't have material. I just show up.

Speaker 1 Other con because I do comedy store, you guys do comedy store. Right.

Speaker 1 People go up there and they go, I've been having a problem with my girlfriend lately. And I see this motherfucker talk about his problem with his girlfriend.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He on to like girlfriend number three.

Speaker 1 doing same joke because jokes still work.

Speaker 1 So he doing he doing pretend what happened like pretend extemporaneous who are you saying this about specifically every comic really every comic on stage saying this just happened to me or i you ever noticed this every night they do it bobby lead bobby bobby lead yeah sorry you know go ahead dig no you do you do um

Speaker 1 but i i just show up i go up i start dancing for a minute they play club music i dance for a minute set the tone i've seen it yeah and then it's fun and then i just do q a from the audience i go anybody have any questions for me Lance, do you, there's a rumor, and you can squash this if this isn't true.

Speaker 1 I'm not gay.

Speaker 1 I know. Well, can we just form our own opinion?

Speaker 1 I just want to squash. Form our own opinions, though.
Okay, yeah. But what do you think? Do you have beef with Bill Burr? Somebody said you have big beef with him.

Speaker 1 Not big beef, slight beef.

Speaker 1 Do you want to tell us what happened? I mean, this is a great way to kind of get it out. Just I fist bump, you know.
And maybe he moving too fast to not see the bump. Oh, so you punched him?

Speaker 1 I didn't punch. No, I do respect fist bump i like what he's doing i like how he trash women sometimes

Speaker 1 the rumor is that you sometimes you didn't trash women did the rumor is you hit him a little bit what like i punch him that's what's going around the store people are saying that you assaulted when i say trash woman i mean respectfully you when they need to be knocked down a peg right right right right not like yeah not andrew tate although i you know that's cool sometimes you know like i don't like all his video yeah but some video you go you got a point you know like i would never at a party be like, hey, everybody, check this out.

Speaker 1 But when you're in your car, you go, yeah, you bring up a point. Are you a citizen here of the United States or no? You know, I'm here.
Could you vote?

Speaker 1 In theory.

Speaker 1 Would you vote in November? I would love to vote.

Speaker 1 Who would you vote for, you think?

Speaker 1 The pause says everything. It's tough, though, because Biden or Trump, pretty much, right? RFK? Basically, yeah, RFK.

Speaker 1 Nikki Haley's probably not going to run.

Speaker 1 You're going to do RFK? I have no idea.

Speaker 1 Who do you think you'd vote for? Lance? It's tough, because Biden, not great. Trump not great.
RFK is a new option right now.

Speaker 1 But he's too small to be able to do that.

Speaker 1 America not ready. Because I don't know to get a haircut or anything.
I don't want to. You don't have to cut your hair.
But as a president, what would you be? What laws would you enact?

Speaker 1 Okay, so if you are, if you're in a drive-through for In-N-Out and your car is in traffic. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, you go to jail. Wait, wait, what do you mean? Trap.
Oh, he's... You have to be in the parking lot of In-N Out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Cars are... Okay, you know what I mean? What I'm saying is this.
Now again, so sometimes the one on sunset or something. All of them, sometimes there's so many fat people who need In-N-Out so bad.

Speaker 1 Right. And they clog up Sunset or Orange.
What I'm saying is... Look, it's not going to happen to you today.
All right. Go to Burger King.
Go to when they're willing to be in traffic with.

Speaker 1 And they're about to die. They're about to get...
T-boned by car because they're so fat and want to be in a drive-through. Yeah, yeah.
I would get rid of those people. Okay, that's a good law.

Speaker 1 That's the first order of business. Your administration, that's the first law that we.
I would drop a bomb on

Speaker 1 the traffic. Okay.
You know, if you are inside the parking lot, you're safe. The shrapnel won't get you.
I got to know. Can I be your vice president? Because I have a law.
Please, what is your law?

Speaker 1 Right. Chick-fil-A, you open on Sundays.
Yeah, yeah. I know you're Christian.

Speaker 1 Right. And I know you have moralities and a value.
Open on Sundays. You live in America.
Yeah, like Hindu people can operate it on that day. Right.

Speaker 1 It's so brilliant. You're a job creator.
right?

Speaker 1 That's so brilliant. Yeah, they are.
And if you love Jesus, you stay home and you have atheists, you have Wiccans and stuff

Speaker 1 operate.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 you're gonna have a warlord. Do you have any red-headed people

Speaker 1 where you come from? Have you ever associated with redheads at all? Or even do you know anything about Asian people? It's very rare. I mean, I don't see a lot of you.
See, we see you, yeah.

Speaker 1 What do we do there from where you're from?

Speaker 1 Laundry stuff.

Speaker 1 Oh, so like here? Oh, here still? No, but like from where you're from. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Back to the magical place where you're from. Right, right.
You see people that look like me. Some, yeah.

Speaker 1 What do we do there? Yeah, some laundries.

Speaker 1 One guy have GameStop.

Speaker 1 Oh, there's a GameStop.

Speaker 1 He was doing laundry, but he made enough money to follow his passion of video games. Wow, he still has a GameStop out there.
Okay, good. What did you do before you did stand-up?

Speaker 1 What I do, just odd job stuff, Task Rabbit, you know, building furniture.

Speaker 1 A little modeling here and there. You were a model? Yeah, some model stuff, like at leisure.

Speaker 1 So i wear the jogging suit and then for like what for for lululemon or one of those or lower brand you know yeah not lulu lulu was like pinnacle yeah yeah but cheetah was pretty good get for me like champion somebody no champion really good too not cheat like cheetah sweatpants oh cheetah sweatpants yeah cheetah sweatpants pretty good high sierra high sierra

Speaker 1 yeah high sierra yeah one time there's a small like small-time gym You ever see people like a wallpaper on the gym of like a guy doing a squat? I was a squat guy. Oh, wow.
Just to like show form.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So, how long have you been in the States? A while now, man.
I'm pretty assimilated. Like, I know, I know lingo.
I know stuff. Like, what, like, what, like, what? Give me a say.
What, lingo?

Speaker 1 Ick, you know? Ick. Ick is a good one.
Yeah, yeah, girls have ick. Yeah, yeah.
What is that? You know, like a chick's fat or something. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like an ick. It's one of my icks.
That's one of your icks. Yeah, I don't know.
Give me a list of Lance's icks.

Speaker 1 Weird face. Well, who does anybody in here have a weird face? No, pretty good face.
He's a little weird. But then you have glasses.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, but he's good.

Speaker 1 Pretty good faces. Yeah.
Here, you're hiding. Can I see your face a little more? Holy fuck.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But pretty standard face. Good.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You have a lot of accessories going on, like mustache. He's like biting a little bit.
What about my little bit of a little bit? What about

Speaker 1 my face? You have a great face, man. Oh, you've always taught you.
Yeah, yeah. Thank you.
Like very castable.

Speaker 1 I could put you in everything. Like, I see you, I picture you handing a beer to your white best friend.

Speaker 1 Right. Like an

Speaker 1 awful lot of money. But like a commercial too, like a Miklob Ultra.
Right. He kind of have a long jog.
So let's do that commercial. So you're the white friend? This is the commercial, right?

Speaker 1 Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So he's doing something. You ran five miles before, you know, just to get your heart rate up.
And then, but you're still a fit guy.

Speaker 1 You know, you still like beer, even though you run a lot. Right.
And at the very end of the commercial,

Speaker 1 here I

Speaker 1 yeah yeah oh perfect thank you yeah the smile you maybe a bit much

Speaker 1 oh really it seemed like you have like mental

Speaker 1 well you is is that your natural because it seemed like you have mental trouble

Speaker 1 when you smile like that all right so just direct me so that was too much direct yeah a little the smile

Speaker 1 right ready so he just wants so you're wipes you've done your run and but you still want a beer i love a beer i'm so tired from that run Here comes your boy. Okay, why are you looking at me?

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, you look at him. My bad, my bad.
give him a line at least yeah yeah uh a line will probably help the rhythm i think that would help me this should quench your thirst this and get you up

Speaker 1 okay right yeah yeah yeah oh man what a long run i'd really love a beer this should quench your thirst get you really up yeah

Speaker 1 well he kind of bobbles the line up top oh give me can you adr it or no i'll do it again right i'll you mouth it i do the i do the line for you oh okay i we i adr i do adr on the spot here we go man I'm really tired after that run.

Speaker 1 I love a beer. This should quench your thirst.

Speaker 1 It'll get you fucked up.

Speaker 1 Print it. Check the gate.
Wow. That was pretty good.
That's a pretty good thing. All the films from when we were in our youth, all the films that were dubbed over.
Yeah. He's Will Gezjarthurst.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Are you a fan of cinema? I love cinema, dude. Like, my dream, you know, we meet at comedy store and you see me rip and shit.
And, like, you know. You do okay.
I do, but I mean, the

Speaker 1 the building shakes

Speaker 1 it does it does shake yeah you saw it shake i see it shake yeah there's this heckler video and there's footage of me it was an earthquake at the same time no no give me credit come on all right yeah and i just didn't know how you got that camel up on stage that was amazing yeah yeah

Speaker 1 to get a full-blown camel on stage it's a tough closer to every time yeah i got good luck following that yeah well the amount of water that comes out of that thing is absurd it's absurd

Speaker 1 yeah it's in the humps and then to have it disappear Yeah, it's a little kind of.

Speaker 1 I don't want to give away his act on the show. I know, but it's still incredible.

Speaker 1 I don't even do that bit that much anymore. The calipet? Yeah.
All right. You don't? Not anymore, really.
I've seen you do it five times. When you enjoy it, where? Where do I store?

Speaker 1 No, no, you don't do it at the store anymore, but you do a corner that's flapper or something. Barney Gunn Hall, we saw you do it.
Ah. You close with the camera.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but then David Copperfield was like, I do a similar thing, and so I have to start with it. And to juggle three koala bears is, I mean, I've just, I just don't, and they're a lot.

Speaker 1 And they all have herpes, because koalas, they all have herpes. You have to dodge, you have to, like, dodge their lips when you're juggling with them.
Incredible world. Thanks, man.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I want to get into cinema. Like, I want to be in action movies.
It's my dream. Whoa.
I would do a rom-com to like whatever I got to do to build my way up. Well, let me see.
How about this?

Speaker 1 I'd love to see your cast ability because we are making a movie right now.

Speaker 1 Why don't you show me if you're the love interest for Bobby? Bobby's a sweet little lady, and you're obviously you.

Speaker 1 I'd like to see, you know, you flirting with her at a bar to try to see if I could put you in our movie.

Speaker 1 We do have a scene where you know we have a scene we need a guy that's flirting with this girl and they end up getting into a big fight scene physically but let's just see you flirt and see if it works sure sure so we're at a bar yeah you're at a bar it's actually it's in uh it's in new york it's uh

Speaker 1 it's in the village it's kind of a hip cool young bar uh she's a nyu grad student okay how old is she grad student she's 23 23 23 years old and tight pussy huh tight pussy it's pretty tight yeah from what it looks like well it's, you know.

Speaker 1 Hold on. Oh, sorry.

Speaker 1 It's just, I don't want people to talk about my pussy. No, it's tight.
It is tight. It is tight.
It's tight. All right.
I mean, it's. Why wouldn't you want it to be tight?

Speaker 1 Why are you throwing away tight pussy?

Speaker 1 Okay, fine. It's just.
All right, let's go. And her name is Camille.
Camille. And

Speaker 1 let's see how this takes place. Go ahead.
And action.

Speaker 1 Rocket Money. You know, I had so many subscriptions to a million different things.

Speaker 1 I'm losing money all the time.

Speaker 1 And I need one

Speaker 1 app or website to put it all in one place. Yes.

Speaker 1 Well, luckily, Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

Speaker 1 I can't tell you before I used this how much money I was spending. It was embarrassing and stupid.
I would sign up for something and I totally forget about it. That happens all the time.
And now

Speaker 1 you can see all your subscriptions in one place. And if you see something you don't want, Rocket Money can help you cancel with a few taps.

Speaker 1 I've always struggled with finding time to manage my finances, Andrew. I know.
And And at the end of a busy week, the last thing I want to do is

Speaker 1 spend time budgeting all of my expenses or tracking down customer service teams to cancel old subscriptions. Well, luckily, there's Rocket Money.

Speaker 1 Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's features.

Speaker 1 Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your own wanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash bad friends.
That's rocketmoney.com slash bad friends.

Speaker 1 Rocketmoney.com slash bad friends. Bespoke Post.
I guy. Hey, guys.
Hey, guys. You know, you want to give gifts to people?

Speaker 1 You got to go through.

Speaker 1 You got to get a box of awesome. You got to get a box of awesome.
Make this year your most awesome yet with a box of awesome from Bespoke Post.

Speaker 1 Every single month, the box of awesome is filled with carefully chosen gear from the best small brands around the world. Let's see what we got.
What do you got? Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you what I got.

Speaker 1 I'm going to tell you what I got. I got alchemy.
You got alchemy, dude? Ooh, I got alchemy for making some cocktails. I got claw.
I got claw, dude. Oh, and look at these little ice creams.

Speaker 1 Look at what I got.

Speaker 1 It's incredible. I got knives.
It comes with so much fun stuff. Look at these knives.
Well, put

Speaker 1 it on.

Speaker 1 To get started, you take a quiz at boxofawesome.com. Your answers will help them pick the right box of awesome for you.

Speaker 1 It's free to join, and they release new items every month across a ton of different categories. Plus, each box of awesome, you're supporting small businesses.
That's what we love to do.

Speaker 1 90% of everything that comes in your box of awesome is from a small and up-and-coming brand. It's free to sign up.
You can skip a month or cancel at any time.

Speaker 1 Ain't no pressure, but it's great for you or great for gifts for someone else.

Speaker 1 Get a free mystery gift with your first monthly shipment when you sign up at boxofawesome.com and enter the code bad friends at checkout.

Speaker 1 That's boxofawesome.com code bad friends for a free mystery gift with your first monthly shipment. Boxofawesome.com code bad friends.

Speaker 1 Camille, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, how'd you know? Just your reputation procedure.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? You mean at law school? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And everywhere. Oh, thank you.
How many?

Speaker 1 What's your name? Oh, my name is Lance. Lance.
Oh, I think I've heard of you. Lance Can't Stop Eliz? Hopefully, all goodness.
Holy shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I need legal help. Okay.
I hit a guy with my car. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What would you do? It was totally my fault.

Speaker 1 But I needed to not appear so. I'm sorry, but did the police show up?

Speaker 1 The authorities? I ran. You ran? I ran.
So there's probably

Speaker 1 a warrant out for your arrest? Perhaps, but I'm trying to get ahead of it. Okay, you get

Speaker 1 aside from that, did he die? Maybe.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, didn't really stick around to find out. All right.
But let's table what I told you. Okay.
I want to fuck you tonight.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. What a turn.

Speaker 1 Are you okay? No, I'm just all right. Just, you know, can we get her some water? No, no, fine.
I got water right here. What a switch, though.
That was really fast.

Speaker 1 I move fast. I know you do.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 you went from you're a wanted fugitive

Speaker 1 and then you went a fuck. Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay. Well, let's deal with the first problem first, and then maybe I'll think, do you like loose pussies?

Speaker 1 They're not ideal.

Speaker 1 Mine's very... I've had five kids.

Speaker 1 What? It's loose. It's pretty loose.

Speaker 1 Bye.

Speaker 1 Hi. I'm John Quinonez from What Would You Do?

Speaker 1 We just did a scene from What Would You Do? Yes. And you

Speaker 1 you failed i did yeah okay you were gonna have sex with lance i was yes bad okay why bad girl why he's a fugitive he murdered

Speaker 1 he murdered people shut your mouth you want to be added to the list

Speaker 1 wow great lance i apologize very good very good skill set is pretty incredible yeah i feel my range is pretty i can do high octane like get on a motorcycle but then i can bring it down and tell you i like to type pussy are you single guy yeah i'm always single you've never been in a relationship no sometimes it weir that way, where they kind of want that.

Speaker 1 And then I get very busy. What do you get busy doing? You know, work.
What are you doing working? You know, writing,

Speaker 1 acting.

Speaker 1 When's last time? Just nebulous stuff where they can't keep tabs, you know? Like, I don't work in the. Yeah, you know, like when you're an artist, you go, oh, my process.

Speaker 1 And then they have to respect the process. You do have to respect the process.
And then if they get really, really upset, I just say, baby, you're my muse.

Speaker 1 And then they like, because they have no talent themselves. Right.
So they are attracted, like, to know that my jokes and my art come from me being bad to them

Speaker 1 is alluring to them. Like, that's why Picasso, you know, Picasso had so many chicks and stuff.
I just don't think you have a lot of range. What the fuck? Yeah.
Give me a, what do you mean?

Speaker 1 I don't think you have a lot of range. And I just want to do a different movie scenario, if I may.
Yeah. Okay.
Like Dear Daniel Day Lewis. No, no, no, no, no.
We're on a different planet.

Speaker 1 And we're a different, we're an alien species, right? So CGI? Yeah, some CGI, but I'm an alien creature. It's like Star Trek 9.
Right. All right.
And you're playing an alien. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And we're at the same scenario. We're at a bar.
Okay. So you're coming to me.
I have a drink, right?

Speaker 1 Holy fuck, he has it. Wow.
Dude, he has the rage.

Speaker 1 That was so good, dude. That sounds like a camel.
Did that get you horny? Yeah, it did. Wow.

Speaker 1 But you would have to do subtitle because that was gibberish. Like, I didn't speak a real thing.
Yeah, and I wasn't either, fucking.

Speaker 1 It sold me on it. it.
Yeah, it sold it. Lance, let me ask you.
These are real languages.

Speaker 1 You seem to be connected to the universe that we live in. You know a lot of people that I know, although a lot of people don't know you well.
What are some comedians

Speaker 1 if we name comedians? Because I know I said you had a little bit of beef. Nah, slight beef.
You're trying to stir pot between the biggest guy in comedy and me right now. No, I'm not doing it.

Speaker 1 I just, people said that you and Bert. Who would you? Where? Where do you say like it's trending or something? It's just a fist bump that, you know,

Speaker 1 a miscommunication. All right, let me name some comics and see if you have an association with them at all.
Sure. Okay.
Is that fine? Yeah. Okay.
How about

Speaker 1 how about Jeselnik? Jeselnik, yeah. I know of him.
No beef with him? No beef. You like him? I like his style.
You think he's cool? Yeah, he wears a jean jacket too.

Speaker 1 I get it. What about Spade? You like David Spade? Love Spade.
Longevity. Right.
Great. Chicks, great with chicks.
What about

Speaker 1 Fahim? You know Fahim? Anwar? You like him?

Speaker 1 Nah, he's okay, I guess.

Speaker 1 Why did you pause? Why? He alright. He kind of, you know what I'm talking about.
He has a great special coming out.

Speaker 1 That's great. He does.
He's putting on a special right now. Yeah.
Where is it going to be?

Speaker 1 What do you mean, where is it going to be? What's the home Netflix? No, it's going to be on

Speaker 1 YouTube. It's called House Money.
Oh, House Money.

Speaker 1 February 28th. Can't anyone upload on YouTube? Yeah.
Oh. Yeah, but let's not talk shit.
You don't have a special on YouTube. I don't need to.
Every time I go on stage, it's special.

Speaker 1 Okay, I highly doubt that. Nah, for real.
Ask audience, just talk the building.

Speaker 1 I know, but I'm saying, you can't take shots of people that have been in comedy for a long time that are doing shit, and you haven't proven yourself yet.

Speaker 1 I mean, maybe not on a large scale, but anybody who know comedy and shit know Lance is fucking, you know, on the rocket ship to success. I don't know.
We've asked a lot of people.

Speaker 1 I don't I would say some people know who you are, but I think you need to be humbled a little bit. All right.
Yeah, I take your note. I take your note.
But you know Fahim, right? I know Av.

Speaker 1 Right, so you've talked to him about the house money, have you? no we haven't talked about this maybe i don't know yeah sure

Speaker 1 yeah great special yeah yeah yeah it's a great special right i've never seen that i know either it's that february who's gonna watch it i don't know yeah yeah i mean i i mean i will watch it i watch it too he's my friend you you friends i love that he's my oldest friend in comedy i met him when we when we both came when i was out here and we started together so that's why i don't want you to disrespect sure sure Nah, I hope to have you.

Speaker 1 I hope to have a YouTube special someday, too. Listen, Fahim.

Speaker 1 I see that you're being condescending. No, I'm being Rahim.
I don't like it.

Speaker 1 I want to

Speaker 1 disrespect my friend. Okay, I'm not.
You're on our show. I don't like that kind of big comics.
I'm sorry, I'm not. I'm sorry, dude.
I'm sorry. Well, I mean, come on.
Brahim Anwar

Speaker 1 is one of the best comics on planet or live, I believe. He used to open for you? He used to open for me, and he is a sweet kid.
You could see his talent from just the first time you see him.

Speaker 1 Sounds like he's dying. No, he's not dying.
He's not for Atlanta. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Does he have an illness? Does he have an illness?

Speaker 1 He's the sweetest kid. The left side of his face is

Speaker 1 proud of the guy, you know? We are. Well, that's cool.

Speaker 1 When I do a special Sunday, you guys, you give me this type of thing. Maybe.
We'll see. I mean, look, if you kind of stay in your lane, that's what we like to say here on the lane.
Stay in my lane.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 don't step on toes. Again,

Speaker 1 let's not step on toes. Yeah, they're a hierarchy, the respect.

Speaker 1 Because I'm so new to stand-up. I'm only five years in and I don't realize that there is like, it's like the mob.
You got to pay your dues. You got to kiss certain people.
Kiss the ring. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you can't talk about certain people a certain way. They're sacred cows.
It's just rude. Yeah, it's rude.
It's rude. It's rude.
Yeah. But in hip-hop, you take shots at people, then you become fucking.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but were you ever a hip-hop artist? No, I love it, though. You do? Yeah.
Big fan of hip-hop. Who do you listen to? Right now, I'm in Kanye.
Oh, that's a tough one. No good?

Speaker 1 Well, no, no, it's his talent is there. I just think publicly he's having a tough time.
Sure, sure. But I mean, you could play his music to the most Jewish person, and he's still,

Speaker 1 even with with with the curls and the yamaka yeah yeah you'd be fucking wow yeah Yeezy's still comfy you know what you learned how to dance is that improvise it's improvised I'm glad you asked

Speaker 1 I did too yeah I just music come on and then I kind of black out like I go into a fugue state or something and and I'm not even dancing I'm a vessel for whatever the music is and this is how you get laid typically typically no words just you know if we're at the club or a rave or something and the music come

Speaker 1 yeah, and after I'm done, you know, I'll be honest, I think I dance pretty good. I maybe can you critique some of my movies, sure, sure.

Speaker 1 All right, oh my god, what is this? So, let me, I would just do maybe some dance at the seat,

Speaker 1 but I know. Oh, get ready for the beat to drop, Bobby.

Speaker 1 I was born to be free.

Speaker 1 Oh shit,

Speaker 1 The drop before the drop.

Speaker 1 Check his vitals, everybody.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, put it in the air.

Speaker 1 Holy shit.

Speaker 1 Wow. One thing I will say.
What do you think? What do you guys think? He feels it. Not good? No, not good.
No, I think it's very good. Also, what I like,

Speaker 1 no.

Speaker 1 I took a risk. No, it was a really good risk.
Curious, what were the sounds you making? My emotions. That's pure emotion.
I think the risk was cardio. It hurt.
It actually hurt. Yeah, I could tell.

Speaker 1 So it's the emotion of pain. Well,

Speaker 1 my body hurt. Lance, do you think you can upstage him? I mean, no, no, no, no.
Upstage bad word. Yeah.
Because that was uniquely Bobby. Yeah, thank you.
When you go to a club,

Speaker 1 not one other person will be doing that. Right.
They should. Well, if you open up a class and you want to

Speaker 1 if you want to impart that to other people. Well, that was purely improvised.
Improvise, yeah. I could tell.
Well, what song do you, what song would you prefer to get down to?

Speaker 1 Choose an oh, do you have more royalty-free music? He always, yeah, that's what he's, yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I don't like popular stuff other than Kanye, you know. Right.
All right, let's hear something else. Let's see if it gets you down.

Speaker 1 This

Speaker 1 turn it up. That's pretty good.
Yeah, crank it up.

Speaker 1 Do I stand? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put the water down.

Speaker 1 It's harder than it is. Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's building.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Turn it up.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 I'm horny.

Speaker 1 I magic mic'd you at the end. Imagine my mouth.
Yeah, so you know, thank you. Thanks for mine.
Thank you. That was incredible, dude.
But yeah, you, you know, that wasn't prepared. Mine out.

Speaker 1 Nah, leave it. Mine's suckable.
No, yours was good. I was like,

Speaker 1 but you make cool noises. I thought it was really.
You know what? I was sucked, man. I didn't dance at all, dude.
No, you did. But to duel, you know what I mean? I love all that.

Speaker 1 But what's great about yours, because I was doing a lot of movement. I'm a disaster, right? Nah, you're...

Speaker 1 No, dude, it was like a master growing up. No, you're like knives in.
No, I'm a fool. I'm a fool.
You're knives in right now. I thought it looked good.
It was good. Compared to that?

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Fool right now.
No, no, Bobby. Bobby,

Speaker 1 what the fuck? bobby here difference i was moving around a lot yeah but you you had suspense yes oh i see stationary suspense so it's

Speaker 1 it's stationary suspense the movement without moving wow yeah right and that's important but i was okay because it's it's uh i was doing a lot right i was doing a little bit a lot yes you're doing a lot little littleness you're doing a lot with a little yeah yeah also if i do that at the club i get sweaty very fast yeah and then my chances of fucking go down.

Speaker 1 Right. You're not going to be sweating as much doing what you do.

Speaker 1 But can I say something? I'll be real too. When I was watching you dance, I could feel my pussy tighten.
Yeah, but

Speaker 1 you're not in my market audience. You're saying that my pussy got real tight.
Did you not? I think the whole market got tight. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The market got tight.

Speaker 1 Whatever your market is, that market got tight. Yeah, I was just like a virgin.
Oh, okay, so that's good then. That's a good thing, yeah.

Speaker 1 For you, yeah, for you. Because sometimes when pussy get too tight, then it's like you don't want it so tight you can't get in.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. anyway, yeah, right.
Okay, I understand. All right, consent, consent, not, you know, like

Speaker 1 we understand what you're saying. No, no, no, you know what I mean? Like, I understand what you're saying.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It goes without saying.

Speaker 1 It's consent.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're yeah, yeah, yeah. I beg consent.
I love it. No, no, no.
We know. We know.
Yeah. But when you say it so much.
Yeah. But I just like to reiterate that, yeah, I'm

Speaker 1 before that. Yeah, exactly.
It goes without saying. Let's just move on.
Right. Just move on from that.
Yes, we agree. We agree to disagree.
Anyway, can I ask you a question? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you dance?

Speaker 1 I don't. I don't.
Okay, yeah, I could tell that. But I can try.
Yeah. Please, I would love.
Because we both kind of bore our soul right here. Yeah.
I can. Yeah, I do.

Speaker 1 Like in a stand or pop. You might have to feel the music, I guess.
Oh, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You will go clubbing us sometime to clubbing. Maybe.
Maybe. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So good.

Speaker 1 It's got ripped.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's so good. It's so good.
Oh, my goodness. It's less is more, right? Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Oh, that was so. Oh, come on.
Clap.

Speaker 1 So good. That was pretty good.
It sounds almost as if he didn't dance. I thought it was building up.

Speaker 1 You move people to tears. Move them to tears.
I don't want to be. I'm a little embarrassed.
I just don't ever really dance much, but

Speaker 1 it's interesting because it's like build up, but that it. You know? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You think it's building up to a drum? No, no. Yeah.
Like, you're all build up, which is great. That's great.
Yeah. Do you have any notes? I mean, I'm just trying to.
There's no notes. No, no.

Speaker 1 No notes.

Speaker 1 You're broke. Okay.

Speaker 1 Kind of angry at the beginning, kind of upset and hitting the table. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was almost like you got bad news in the morning. Right.
Or got told he had to stay late. You woke up and your uncle Jack died, right? And you just kind of like, whoa, my uncle Jack died.

Speaker 1 I've never danced in front of people. I've just, that's the first time I've ever danced.
You know, to be honest with you, I'm embarrassed about mine. Why? No, yours good, dude.
No, mine was too much.

Speaker 1 It was the opposite of his.

Speaker 1 I went all climax.

Speaker 1 There was no build-up. But that's okay.

Speaker 1 Sometimes you don't need four-place. I mean, I wish I could learn how to do that style.
I got to be honest, that's unteachable. That kind of stuff.

Speaker 1 That's what I thought. Gathered.
That'd be great if you do open up a class. A dance class? Yeah, yeah, with a rolling chair and a desk, and all these hot chicks are learning.

Speaker 1 I mean, I would do it if I mean, I would just have to have some business investors to get that kind of thing off the ground. That'd be fun.
Do you have the time to do that even?

Speaker 1 You seem kind of busy with someone. No, no, no, I have a lot of time.
I don't have much going on. I think I got it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, that's part of it. That's the part of it.

Speaker 1 I kind of want to learn too. Yeah, let's learn it, learn it.
And then do you do this a lot?

Speaker 1 Uh, just to get me involved in the moves.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 That's your signature move. Yeah, my instincts.
He just shoots like lightning balls. I try to do what you do, but I just, my instincts go there.
It was too much. It's very.

Speaker 1 I think you're right. No, I like it.
I couldn't stay in that pocket. It's very

Speaker 1 discipline. It's a discipline.

Speaker 1 What you did was a discipline.

Speaker 1 It's all I've ever known.

Speaker 1 That's all you need to know. That's all I need to know.
Yeah, that's all you need to know. Stay deep in the

Speaker 1 with that kind of stuff. Incredible, dude.
I really can't go further.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was amazing, dude. Thank you guys for sharing your band.
Thank you, dude. Thank you, Lenny.
Yeah, oh my God.

Speaker 1 I feel like, you know, you came in here really hot heavy, and I think the bonding is stronger stronger after

Speaker 1 when I knew you. Part of it, you know, I scared.
You're scared of us. I'm scared too.
Well, you know, yeah, yeah. You put on a bravado to protect you from being injured or hurt in person.

Speaker 1 Anyway, Fahim.

Speaker 1 Fahim special. Oh, yeah, you want to plug a special? Yeah, what's it called again? I have no idea.
House money. Oh, house money.
Everybody, watch Fahim Special House Money.

Speaker 1 It's on YouTube, February 28th, and it's going to be great. That's our boy.
He's our boy. And I want to thank Lance Canstopoulos for coming to the podcast.
Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 Can you say this to the camera, Lance? Thank you for being a bad friend. Oh, I would love to.
What camera do you want? That one right in front of you that's facing you. And what's my line?

Speaker 1 Thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you for being a bad friend.
Thank you for being a bad friend. But look in there, yeah.
Do here? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 You know what? Let me do you.

Speaker 1 I'll do the voice voice and you do the. Oh, yeah.
Okay, so like repeat friends. Yeah,

Speaker 1 one, two, three. Thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 Let me try. Ready? One, two, three.
Thank you for being a bad friend, man.

Speaker 1 Let's try again. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go ahead. Me again? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Thank you for being a bad friend, man.

Speaker 1 You don't have to say man at the end, but that's.

Speaker 1 Can I do it again? Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 1 Thank you for being bad friend.

Speaker 1 Wow. Wow.
Let me try one more. Okay.

Speaker 1 Thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 Good. You do one.

Speaker 1 Thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 All right, I'll do one. Ready? Thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 All right, that's good. Now, one more.

Speaker 1 Come on, he's going to keep doing this all night. Thank you for being bad friend.

Speaker 1 Ready? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 Okay, good.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Lance. Thank you, guys.
Thank you. I love you so much.

Speaker 1 Hey, Ryan Reynolds here, wishing you a very happy, half-off holiday, because right now Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off unlimited. To be clear, that's half price, not half the service.

Speaker 1 Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price. So that means a half day.
Yeah? Give it a try at mintmobile.com/slash switch.

Speaker 2 Upfront payment of $45 for three month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only.
Speed slow under 35 gigabytes of networks busy. Taxes and fees extra.

Speaker 1 See Mintmobile.com.