I'm Bobby Mom With Bobby's Mom

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Speaker 1 You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 2 You two are just. It looks really cool.

Speaker 1 That was a you two or something. We're bad friends.

Speaker 1 Okay, go.

Speaker 1 200 episodes. Let's go on smooth.

Speaker 1 That was it. That was it.
That was it. That was the intro.

Speaker 1 Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Penny drinks. It feels so good.
Anyway, welcome to another episode. What is this? 200 episodes? 200.
This is our 200th episode. 200.

Speaker 1 From Las Vegas, Nevada.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Bad Friends from Las Vegas, Nevada. We had a little fun last night.
We came in.

Speaker 1 We went out to a nice, beautiful family dinner, didn't we? Talking about came in. Yeah, go ahead.
Talk about it. Did it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Did you make sweet love last night? No. By myself.
Two pillows.

Speaker 1 Are you being serious? Yeah, yeah. Face me a little bit, will you?

Speaker 1 Will you turn and face me? Oh.

Speaker 1 Move your chair that way so you're angry towards me. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I want to look at my guy. Oh, sorry.
We have to connect. I want to look at my guy.
We have to connect.

Speaker 1 You know, could I say something? Say it, baby. You're a master of all things.

Speaker 1 Oh, don't do it.

Speaker 1 Can I tell you why you're the master of all things? Tell me why. Number one, you know so many things about a great number of things.
Like, for instance, gambling.

Speaker 1 You're good at...

Speaker 1 This is why I bade you face this way so you wouldn't watch the people walking by. Because he's distracted by the people.

Speaker 1 If a butterfly flies by, this guy, an hour and a half.

Speaker 1 You're like my dog with a squirrel. Yeah, butterfly.
You just can't look at it.

Speaker 1 Can I just say something? Please. You're the master of all things.

Speaker 1 Like when we went bowling one time, you're so good at it, but also in gambling last night, I will start at winning because you're next to me and you're like, you're very good. You know, manly things.

Speaker 1 You also know things about like restaurants and stuff. Like, if I want to go out, you go, I can go in here.
This one. And what did we do last night when we gambled? Who, who won money last night?

Speaker 1 Well, let's start from the beginning. Let's start first.

Speaker 1 You went, okay. So, number one, you go, I go, I texted you.
I'm like, where are we going to,

Speaker 1 you know, eat? Do you know any restaurants? And you're like, don't worry about it. Which is like, you know what I mean? Don't worry about it.
He knows that. Don't worry about it.

Speaker 1 We went to a restaurant last night called Delilah. De Laila.
Right? It was probably one of the greatest restaurants I've been to in the last

Speaker 1 three and a half years. That's pretty good.
Three and a half years. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's pretty good.

Speaker 1 What'd you eat? Psych. Let me list off what you ate.

Speaker 1 Hamachi crudo.

Speaker 1 You had tuna tartare. You had pigs in a blanket, chicken fingers, truffle fries, crab Caesar salad, regular Caesar salad,

Speaker 1 tomahawk steak, Franzino,

Speaker 1 Carrot souffle. Pussy de Jesus.
Roasted cauliflower. Sun ice cream sand.
Ice cream sand eggs.

Speaker 1 Sexy chocolate brownie. What was it called? Slutty brownie.
I don't eat that. I don't eat that.
Three Diet Cokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I spilled one. Yeah.
On me. On you.
Just a Diet Coke on you.

Speaker 1 I'm so sorry. It's okay.
On her new dress. Just you got a brand new outfit.
Can you spill an entire Diet Coke on you?

Speaker 2 I didn't even care. I was having so much fun.
I was like, pour another one.

Speaker 1 So we had a delicious little dinner. Amazing dinner.
Then afterwards, we're like,

Speaker 1 what do we do? What does one do in the Las Vegas area? So we went gambling. We had to.
And then, you know, I started winning. Oh, first.

Speaker 1 Can I just say this?

Speaker 1 Before even Delilah, I won $2,000, remember? You won $2,000 in a machine. And I said, what are you going to do with the $2,000? Two jackets.
Two jackets. That's what he bought right away.
Two jackets.

Speaker 1 And Aviator Nation.

Speaker 1 You got to do it, dude. You got to do it.
You got to spend. If you're going to get it, you got to give it away.
I also have to say about this Wind Casino. Do you like it?

Speaker 1 Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 Penetrates and feels so good. Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Makes me feel so good.
So the more you sing the song, the more I think you actually made love to somebody. A pillow.
So anyway, before we went to

Speaker 1 Delilah's, I want, and I got the two things. And then I have to say that the night before I was here by myself and I went to this place.
You were the best friend? Best friend. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How many times have you been here? Throughout my life? Yeah. Oh, my God.
Remember, I've done something, probably 100.

Speaker 1 And this one you love a lot. Yeah, I've been coming here since 1990.
The first time I ever came was 1996, where I opened for Polly.

Speaker 1 What room you were here? At the Riviera. Oh, wow.
And then, you know, she

Speaker 1 performed at five minutes, and then Mitzi came up to me after the show, and she goes, You're a paid regular. And that's where my journey really began.
You got past here. Oh, yeah.
That's wild.

Speaker 1 I didn't know that story. I thought you got past in LA.
Yeah. So Mitzi, Mitzi was out here when they used to have a lot of people.
I was going to ask you a question. Yeah,

Speaker 1 what feels so good?

Speaker 1 Penetrating

Speaker 1 exactly, dude. Oh, sounds like a song from the 100th episode, feels pretty good.
And we have a special surprise. We have a special surprise, yes, we do.
What is it? What is it? It's very special.

Speaker 1 Do you guys want to see it? Yeah, I'd love to. Okay,

Speaker 1 Carlos. I get to see your penis finally.
Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 1 My mom's here. Bobby Mom.

Speaker 1 It's Bobby, My Mom!

Speaker 1 Mom! It's Bobby Mom! Why are you walking a wheelchair? Because Carlos broke her.

Speaker 1 No, why a wheelchair?

Speaker 1 Because I want to surprise you. Yeah, but you can't walk anymore? She was just tired.
Really? She's like you, she's tired. I'm crippled.
No, no, Tuma.

Speaker 1 She doesn't need the headphones. No, because I couldn't sleep last night.
Yeah. Because I want to see you.

Speaker 1 Oh, I love you, mom. Oh, my God.
We're surprised.

Speaker 1 Ladies and gentlemen, I walked here, not flying. Are you walked here? That's what you're not.

Speaker 1 This is so shocking that you brought me. I feel so bad that I sang the penetration song.
What'd you sing it again for your mom? Mom, mom, I wrote a song.

Speaker 1 Didn't I tell you, I want to see you in my dream last night? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's you. That was you.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're a bullfrog.

Speaker 1 I saw a bullfrog last night, and that was my mom, I guess. She goes, I'm going to see you in dreams.
Sing her the song that you wrote for her. Penetration! No, that's not.
No, it's right. It is.
No.

Speaker 1 Anyway, mom, have you, when's the last time you went to Vegas? About 40 years ago what'd you do here

Speaker 1 i lost lost twenty dollars

Speaker 1 and back then that was like twenty thousand dollars

Speaker 1 twenty dollars back then was like twenty yeah like eighteen fourteen i guess that was a that was a lot of money back then yeah you were here and you lost twenty dollars what'd you lose it on

Speaker 1 what did you gamble what did you play quarter

Speaker 1 quarters quarters what's quarters i don't know what quarters is quarter quarter machine oh the slot machine yeah yeah quarter slash

Speaker 1 You know what your mom said to me? She said,

Speaker 1 all right, don't do that. Don't come cut it out.

Speaker 1 Mentally handicapped, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, she's she's Shing. She's not Byung Ching.
She's handicapped. Yeah.
So she's half of it. Please don't say that about my mom.
Well, you said Byung Ching, and I just put it together.

Speaker 1 It's mentally handicapped. I don't say that about my mom.

Speaker 1 See, they're doing it again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, look.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, no. She's just tired.
She's old.

Speaker 1 Don't ever do that. In the in the quarter slots, Bobby last night won a thousand, two thousand dollars.
Really? Two thousand dollars.

Speaker 1 You put it in again, and you lost. No, I bought, no, I cashed out and I bought jackets.
Oh, two jackets. I want a miss shirt too.
What do you mean? Tottenham shirt. You want a totnum shirt?

Speaker 1 A number seven. Because

Speaker 1 a son? Son. Mom, do you fuck mom? Hey, no, nothing.
Fuck you, man. Hey.

Speaker 1 fuck you, dude. Hey, chill out.
I want to say something, Oma. Okay,

Speaker 1 you know that Tottenham is. You know, what team do I like? Arsenal.
Yes. Who's their main enemy? Tottenham.
Tottenham. Yeah.
Because of Son. No, that's not because of Son.
It's just they're rivals.

Speaker 1 You can't just be all like, I like Tottenham now.

Speaker 1 Because of Sony. She likes Tottenham because there's a Korean dude named Mixix.

Speaker 1 What's his name? Right? Sony. I know Sony.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why do you like him? Because he's a Korean. You like everything Korean, huh? Yeah, everything.
Yeah. Really? Is there anything Korean that you like?

Speaker 1 You're talking to Mike. Yeah, you got to talk to the mic.
I am. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Mom, how are you doing in Phoenix? Okay, you're doing okay?

Speaker 1 Wonderful. How old are you now? Awesome.
How old are you now?

Speaker 1 How old are you?

Speaker 1 80 years. 80.
Wow. In two months.
In two months? So don't

Speaker 1 send me any, you know, congratulations on my

Speaker 1 birthday. You don't want me to say congratulations

Speaker 1 last year. You didn't wish her happy birthday last year.
I didn't say happy birthday last year. No, even Stephen didn't do it.
So I'm going to let him know

Speaker 1 again, you know? It's a favorite little chin. It's February 30th.
Okay, can I say this though?

Speaker 1 We don't do holidays. You know, our family doesn't do it.
No, I do it on your birthday.

Speaker 1 No, every year I do. Yeah, but you don't send anything.
You just say happy birthday. No, no, no.
Oh, that's what I want. Okay, so February 30th, you want birthdays.
No, I don't want any money.

Speaker 1 I'm not actually saving money.

Speaker 1 All right, from now on, then. February 13th, I'll give you.
Just to say, mom, happy birthday to you. That's all I want.
Okay, okay. Okay, okay.
Is it too much to ask? No, it's not too much to ask.

Speaker 1 It's not too much to ask. What's so funny? From now on, you're

Speaker 1 going to three.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? From now on,

Speaker 2 you learn that at like 12.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You do? Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know. What do you mean? What do you learn at 12?

Speaker 2 To be respectful to your mother. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay, you're right. You got to buy her that shirt now.

Speaker 1 What shirt? The team. I'm going to give you Tottenham shirt.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm going to give you a Tottenham shirt. Why don't you get her? Why don't I give her why don't you buy that today? Why don't you give her that shirt today?

Speaker 1 Like a big one because I don't like a small clothes. Okay.
Okay. I like 2X.

Speaker 1 2X. 2XY.
No, no, no. It's like all Azamas.
Yeah. Kazama.
Like a pajama. Yeah, but you know, soccer jerseys aren't fun to sleep in, mom.
I know. What are you gonna wear? You're gonna just wear it?

Speaker 1 You're gonna wear at home? Mm-hmm. Okay.
I'll get you one. And darker color.
Yeah. Yeah.
Darker.

Speaker 1 Darker color. No white.
Mom. Tottenham's colors is white and blue.

Speaker 1 No, they have.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 they have a brown.

Speaker 1 They have

Speaker 1 an away.

Speaker 1 They have away kits. As long as it's not white, right? You don't like white.

Speaker 1 You don't like white anything. I like white.
Jerseys, people.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 he doesn't like white anything.

Speaker 1 Well, I'm white. So, she took me away.

Speaker 1 Talk on the mic, mom.

Speaker 1 You know what she said to me when I went and said hi to her? She goes,

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm not gonna use that.

Speaker 1 She said, I asked her what she goes, Your hair. Yeah, he's

Speaker 1 red, right? Yeah, I know. How do you feel about that? But it's not red anymore.
Yeah, it's the same color. It's a colour blonde.
No, it's not. That's blonde, mom.
What the fuck are you talking about?

Speaker 1 Maybe I'm uh colorblind. Colorblind, Colorblind, yeah.

Speaker 1 I know. I'm colorblind.
Yeah. Is she? Well, let me see.
She flew in today. Yeah.
Yeah. She's flying back tonight.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. She flew in it for this.
Yes. Okay, good.
Yeah, I'm for

Speaker 1 oh, tonight I'm leaving. How was the flight good? Oh, yeah.
Was it southwest?

Speaker 1 Was it southwest? Yeah. She was southwest at 80.

Speaker 1 No, no. First class.

Speaker 1 Okay. Well, let him sit and talk on the mic for a second so we can brutalize him for a minute.
I'm going to explain here.

Speaker 1 Bobby. Yeah.
Really light him up about this. Yeah, yeah.
South, let her get on her iPad, by the way. Oh, what are you doing? You're going to watch the colour.
No, color, color, boys.

Speaker 1 You want to cut color? Okay. Thank you.
Find the color, mom.

Speaker 1 So my mom's, listen, my mom.

Speaker 1 You fly me and Andrews first class, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Semi-private sometimes. Yeah, yeah.
JSX. Like today, we had private.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
So why? Why, my mom?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The green one? It's in a wave kit. I will.
Can I see the color? This is the jersey. And long sleeve.

Speaker 1 This is sun. This is who we want.
Long sleeve. Okay.
Yeah, yeah. Hot.

Speaker 1 And like twex. You know, mom, that's, you know,

Speaker 1 you're right. You're right.
Here, give me this. You got it.
Mom, yeah. Mom, just listen to me, okay? Just listen to me real quick, okay?

Speaker 1 I already,

Speaker 1 I know. All the Korean men you like, right? You like BTS, right? They're all handsome.
Yeah. Yeah, right? Talk to them.
Talk on the mic.

Speaker 1 Come on, people listening. To me.
Right. Yeah.
He's kind of tall, handsome, athletic.

Speaker 1 He's tall, athletic, handsome.

Speaker 1 You never look, you don't, but you spawned ugly.

Speaker 1 You?

Speaker 1 Me? No, you're not. I know, but not ugly, but you spawned five foot two, chubby, weird dudes.
That's why I like another yoga. I told her you are perfect.

Speaker 1 I know, but I'm just saying, the guys you like don't do nothing like Steve and I.

Speaker 1 Well, I don't have to be like your height. Yeah, I know, but the thing is, I love you.
That's all. You know, I love you.

Speaker 1 What do you mean of? Like, she doesn't have to be sexually attracted to your type. Like, her mother may love her.

Speaker 1 She's obsessed with.

Speaker 1 Why'd you bring that into it?

Speaker 1 That's fucking weird. Don't even bring that into it.
Why do you want your mom to be sexually attracted

Speaker 1 your body type?

Speaker 1 No, I'm not saying that.

Speaker 1 What I'm saying is that she likes good-looking Asian, even women, but she doesn't like like, she's never said, like, I like this Korean actress who's four foot nine and has a gigantic head.

Speaker 1 To be fair, last night Outside the Wind, we were talking about our body types we like, and you said no, chuncos. Yeah, that's what you did say that.

Speaker 1 When you said you like them, really, really tonight. Well, what are you doing? I got to tell you, Carlos Sober is the best version I've ever seen of himself.
This is amazing. The clarity is huge.

Speaker 1 What are you talking about right now? It's clear, dude. I'm seeing things in a different way, dude.
Tell him what happened. Oh, really? well tell me what happened last time he's going clear

Speaker 1 you're going clear he went clear i went clear he went anyway next time my mom's here i get her first class she's old and she's like my mom i i know she i i know i know her we text she's bobby mom in my phone wait you text her with him oh yeah you like him oh yeah why

Speaker 1 because he's good to me he is yeah mama have you ever heard of glory holes

Speaker 1 glory holes

Speaker 1 no we did make a good i'm just saying he's into glory holes Yeah. I don't want to tell you what they are, but it's not.

Speaker 1 I'm good. It doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 Somebody good to me. We saw an escort.

Speaker 1 Oh, you like it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When on the way here, we saw an escort while walking, and I said, Hey, that looks like a prostitute. And we had a good laugh, right? Remember that?

Speaker 1 Mula.

Speaker 1 A lot of money.

Speaker 1 No, no, no.

Speaker 1 What did he say? This is what he said, alright? This is good for our audience. When you were walking in here,

Speaker 1 all right, when you're walking. Seven words are making sense now for everybody.
What do you mean? Slow down. Okay, okay.
Yeah, and don't yell, especially at your mother. Okay.

Speaker 1 She's just going to hear me, but the laugh is on camera. What did he say? What did he say? So you,

Speaker 1 you, you don't know me like a tall guy and good-looking. Yeah, what's the problem? What's the problem with that? Thank you.
What's wrong with that?

Speaker 1 yeah because i love it as you are i never say you are too short or too tall whatever well he's not too tall he's never too taller than

Speaker 1 guys

Speaker 1 no you're right you're you're really yeah yeah you're right you're perfect just the way you are

Speaker 1 yeah because you're perfect to me yes

Speaker 1 i'm perfect to you think yeah not as perfect as steve but you're perfect always your side right so why do you ask more you're right right like are you attracted are you attracted bobby to women that look like your mom

Speaker 1 Shut up. Are you attracted?

Speaker 1 I don't even know why you brought that up. Let's not even let's move on.
You were the one that did it. You said it.
It kind of is actually. What? Because she's thin.
PTS water.

Speaker 1 Shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 Everyone, shut the fuck up. Let's calm down.
Be nice. So, what he said was, what do you mean? Be nice to Carlos.
She's clean. When we're coming, I'm clear.

Speaker 1 He said that when you were coming, you saw a prostitute.

Speaker 1 You know what a prostitute is?

Speaker 1 Pakistan? Pakistan. Pakistan, yeah.

Speaker 1 A Pakistan. We saw a Pakistan.
No, a prostitute. Prostitute.

Speaker 1 Did you laugh?

Speaker 1 Okay, good. Yeah,

Speaker 1 confirmed. Yeah, confirmed.
Confirmed kill.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 1 These noises just sound like drums.

Speaker 1 What do you mean?

Speaker 1 Really? What are you saying? What were you saying? She was saying that she was basically telling me what a prostitute is. They receive money and all that kind of stuff.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 What's a prostitute in Korean? What's it called? Uh-oh. What's the word? What's it called?

Speaker 1 I don't want to say it. You say it.
Koreanura. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, you just said it.

Speaker 1 Oh, the shit. He's already said it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you did. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 What is it?

Speaker 1 Prostitute.

Speaker 1 Hooker.

Speaker 1 No, you're going to say it. Changyo.
Changyong. Chang nyo.
Chang nyo.

Speaker 1 Oh, chang chang yo.

Speaker 1 So many words. So many words just to say hooker.

Speaker 1 It's like nine words for one thing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's tell your mom about some of the things that happened last night. Okay.
So we're going to tell you what happened last night, okay?

Speaker 1 No, yeah, you don't have to say anything. Just listen.

Speaker 1 Okay. I always listen to that.
All right. So tell me what happened last night.
Well, I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had a headache.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I did my thing, but remember you told me to go cash out my winnings and give them to McCone because McCone lost your lost my $300.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I gave him $300.

Speaker 1 He lost that too. And then he went to a strip club with Andrew.

Speaker 1 Do you think he deserved one to go to the strip club?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
He deserved to go. I like it.

Speaker 1 When you're down, that's good. You got it.
So he lost. So Jesse can help tell the story.
So he lost $600 of mutual friend money, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, he spent everybody's money last night.

Speaker 1 Everybody's money last night.

Speaker 2 I gave him some money too.

Speaker 1 She gave him some money too. So then I take him to the strip club, Bob.
Okay. I go to the strip club.
Me, Jesse, McCone, and my friend Baldino. We go to the strip club.
It's nice. It's low-key.

Speaker 1 It was awesome. We're having a great time.
I don't know much. I don't feel weird vibes from Baldino.
You do? Yeah. Why?

Speaker 1 He's just right there. Yeah, I want him there.
Yeah, yeah. In case something happens, he's our secure.
Yeah. Okay.
He's just a little strong for me. He's very strong.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's why you're threatened. He's sharp.
No, but he, like, when I play fight, he goes a little too far. Yeah, because why are you playing with fire? What are you doing?

Speaker 1 You're going to get burnt, kiddo. Stop putting your hand on the stove.
It's going to hurt. And I just kind of like to grapple a little bit.
No, he doesn't want to grapple.

Speaker 1 He He puts me in a thing and I'm like,

Speaker 1 just don't put me in the thing. No, he's got to.
Yeah, yeah. So we went to the strip club.
I said to, I handed, we got a couple hundred and ones

Speaker 1 and immediately McCone gets attacked like this, like the sucker he is.

Speaker 1 Immediately.

Speaker 2 She sits on him so he can't move.

Speaker 1 Yeah. A girl does.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
He's sucking her. She's beautiful or what?

Speaker 1 Yeah, she was pretty. They were all pretty.
They were all pretty. But I mean, she sat around his lap so he couldn't move like a sucker, you know, like a sucker.
Anchored him. Yeah, anchored him down.

Speaker 1 And then what do I get a text that says, what? What do you think? What do do you think the text says? From who? From a con help? No. Okay.

Speaker 1 Can I have cash, please? Oh, can I have cat? That's the PLZ.

Speaker 1 Can I just say something? Let me ask you something.

Speaker 1 He's already out $800. Do you have an ATM card? Yes, I do.
But earlier in the evening, Andrew said, you better not go to the ATM. Okay, but you have an ATM card.
I do. All right.

Speaker 1 Do you have money in your account? I do. Okay.

Speaker 1 Do you know your password?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just get money on. Why do you, what are you asking Andrew for money for? i did eventually go to the atl how much did you pull out i pulled out eighty dollars

Speaker 1 tell him why why what what do you what can you do with 80 uh because i i needed to tip them as well two beers two beers oh well no the two beers were separate i put that on my card and then i had to pull out because she was like tip and i was like okay i guess and then so i i pulled out 80 in cash and i gave her 40.

Speaker 1 idiot he just thought she was into you did you think she was just like into you no but i'm just i'm bad at like it's so awkward to say no it's like it's like it's like the coffee shop when they make you on the iPad give a tip.

Speaker 1 It's like that times a thousand.

Speaker 2 You should. Yeah, but you ordered the coffee.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you did. So you got, you got, you, you asked for money.
You got the coffee. The coffee sat on my lap.
I didn't order any coffee. The coffee came up to me.

Speaker 1 You didn't walk in there and they started making it coffee. So you go, Uncle Andrew, can I have money for the lap dance? Yeah, that is essentially it.
He comes over, gives you cash.

Speaker 1 I went over to him. All right, and how many dances did you get? One?

Speaker 1 Six minutes. $100.

Speaker 1 How good was the dance?

Speaker 1 She kneed me in the balls accidentally. but other than that, it was pretty good.
Did you get a ruck?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Was it a little moist in the tip?

Speaker 1 No moisture. Okay.

Speaker 2 Has your mom been to a strip club? Have you been to a strip club?

Speaker 1 No, don't, don't, don't, don't.

Speaker 1 She did, but she doesn't know.

Speaker 1 It's okay. It's okay.

Speaker 1 I think she makes so much fun because the pinky.

Speaker 1 I cannot hear you.

Speaker 1 Put on the headphones if she wants. No, can you put this on, Mon? It'll be better.
It's better.

Speaker 1 There you go. That's delicate.
Oh, you're doing it so nicely.

Speaker 1 Is that better? Can you hear it? Yeah, yeah. Is it better?

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Speaker 1 Hydro. I got it.
You? They gave me one. I got one at the house.
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Morgan and Morgan.

Speaker 1 You okay?

Speaker 1 I'm in a car accident. I don't know who to call.
Morgan and Morgan. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. Grow up, dude.
I'll tell you what it is, my friend. I know I hit you.
Yeah. Right? But man, Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury law firm.

Speaker 1 I know you're bleeding. I know I'm bleeding.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Your eyeball, put the eyeball back in. They have over 100 offices nationwide and more than 800 lawyers, my friend.

Speaker 1 I got to tell you, we've been in car accidents, fender benders, little bumper rumpers, and no one is better than Morgan and Morgan. And people always think, it's not going to happen to me.

Speaker 1 I don't get into car accidents. 35% of all fatal accidents occur between 6 p.m.
and midnight. When you're going home from a dinner,

Speaker 1 bad stuff can happen. And I'm telling you,

Speaker 1 you got to be secure with who is going to represent you. Exactly.
Morgan and Morgan. Submitting a claim is so very simple and easy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like, you know, like, I'm not going to be repped by some crappy agency. I want the best.
You want tip-top. Yeah.
And Morgan Morgan like the CAA or UTA of insurances.

Speaker 1 Okay. They are the best.
Yeah. If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan.
They're America's largest injury law firm. $15 billion recovered for clients.

Speaker 1 Morgan ⁇ Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation.

Speaker 1 And their fee is free, dude. What? Unless they win.
Yeah, dude. That's the most best part of it.
That's by far.

Speaker 1 And more information, go for forthepeople.com slash bad friends or dial pound law pound529 from your cell phone. It's that easy.

Speaker 1 that's for the people f-o-r the people.com slash bad friends or pound law pound five two nine from your cell doesn't paid advertisement well last night they went to a strip strip club strip clubada

Speaker 1 women they take their clothes off and they all went oh and they get their own money me too

Speaker 1 okay

Speaker 1 i know i went to one time in michigan tell us you went to a strip club in michigan yeah tell us yes oh no a friend

Speaker 1 oh you went into a friend went all women or men with women but but with the dancers were men or women?

Speaker 1 Naked men. Yeah.
Oh, it's men. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Penis.

Speaker 1 Prague boy. Big.

Speaker 1 Oh, long, long. Wait, his name was Dragon Boy.
Dragon Boy? Oh, Prague.

Speaker 1 Brazil. No, Brazier.
Wait, it's called Brazil. No, he's he was Brazilian.
He came from Brazil. He came from

Speaker 1 Brazil. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Oh, ugly. She's scary.
Oh my god. She's not scary.
She's too big.

Speaker 1 This is big. Yeah, yeah.
Well, how's dad's?

Speaker 1 Dad's penis. Yeah, you know, small.
No,

Speaker 1 not Brazil. Not Brazil, though.
Not Brazil.

Speaker 1 That's ugly. Yeah, it's ugly.
Yeah. Well, you see, you were sitting there with your friend, and Brazil was coming dancing to you.
Yeah. Did you give him money? I don't.
You didn't know.

Speaker 1 Because I didn't enjoy it. Oh, you didn't enjoy it.

Speaker 1 Chingro. Scary, she said.
Well, it is scary. When you get a big Brazilian penis in your face.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're not done. I don't like it.
You're not done. Except Daddy.
I don't want to make it in a million. Daddy's Dick is the best dick.

Speaker 1 It is. That's what my mom just said.
Daddy's Dick is the best dick. That's the name of this episode.
Daddy's Dick is the best dick.

Speaker 2 Can I tell you the coolest thing of the Shrimp Cobbler? Please. The lady gets on her hands, spreads her legs, puts a dollar on her vagina.
I love this.

Speaker 2 It goes in the air.

Speaker 1 Floats it in the air. Like confetti.
One girl made it hover for a minute. Yeah, it was so awesome.

Speaker 1 A few women were doing

Speaker 1 like a Shinlim

Speaker 1 stripper situation. Like magic.
Also, we don't know. No, we do know.
Oh, we do know? Yeah. So it kept in the air by her queefs? Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 It was awesome. It was, it was amazing.
Dude, it was honestly amazing.

Speaker 1 We had some of the acrobatics of some of these girls was shocking. One of the girls was walking on the ceiling.
Whoa. Walking on the ceiling.
Whoa, like crossing tiger head and dragon style.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Like Mission Impossible.
She dropped from the pole and hovered on the ground. She said,

Speaker 1 right before she had to go. Ethan Hunt.

Speaker 1 And all that was queef noise at the time.

Speaker 1 Me and this guy, Mark Babbitt, back in the late 90s, I used to open for Mencia. Yeah, we did.
Like a great Carlos Mencia. Yeah, we know.
And we were at

Speaker 1 a theater in Texas, and this guy, Mark Babbitt, who was like back then a promoter, he goes, Hey, I got a girl to come back here to give us a dance. And then

Speaker 1 she got naked, and me and Mark sitting next to each other. She bent over, and her vagina

Speaker 1 just use a different word. Oh, yeah, her

Speaker 1 gash. There it is.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 her sexual organs were something.

Speaker 1 More scientists.

Speaker 1 approved by your mom.

Speaker 1 Her sexual organs were

Speaker 1 green. We must sex.
Green?

Speaker 1 Have you ever seen a green? Ask your mom. Have you ever seen a green? A green vagina? I haven't never seen any of it.
Me neither. You and me.
Wait, you've never seen other people's vagina before? No.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 1 I finished mine. You've never seen yours? No.
You've never seen your own vagina. No, why? I know exactly why.
Why would you?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I guess that is true it's weird

Speaker 1 it is weird it is weird to look at it it's weird right yeah how can you see yours well you have a mirror right yeah you don't just lay there in front of the mirror and just look at it or no no that's what you do if you had one when i put something like a you know something in there you know like what okay

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 1 okay

Speaker 1 she goes did you hear what you said too far i'm not going too far yeah i think you went too far mom yeah

Speaker 1 i think you went too far okay So she's looked at it if there was acne. Sure.
Yeah, yeah. Let's move on from a minute.

Speaker 1 Anyway, she was girl.

Speaker 1 You're right. You're right, right.
Did you say banana? What was that? She's like, why would I look at my own? Yeah, why would we look at her own? And you're absolutely right. That's a good point, Mom.

Speaker 1 That's a very good question. Why would you like it?

Speaker 1 Anyway, I don't know why. So me and Mark Babbitt,

Speaker 1 we said, pull it back up to the lady. No.
And she left. She was super sad.
Well, yeah. But it was like not just green.
It was like... The hue was like a, you know how like

Speaker 1 an incredible Hulk mid-transition? Yeah. It was like kind of grayish green

Speaker 1 all the skin everything it was like really bad like almost fluorescent tints i didn't like no thank you anyway we didn't have that experience last night no but one lady she was asked if she could use me as a prop and i said no thank you and then she put her sexual organs in andrew's face right in my face and he said they smelled bad she said who's my next victim it smelled bad it didn't it didn't uh i think she had been it's uh she had been she had been working she'd been working she'd been working long shift sweaty then guys, long shift, yeah, yeah, yeah, long shift.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like World War II, Normandy. Yeah, she was in the trenches, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There were a couple of girls there that went on stage a few more times than they should have.

Speaker 1 Do you know what I mean by that? Yeah, where you're like, you already got yours, dude. Let somebody know.
Mom, how do you?

Speaker 1 Oh, boy. Oh, mom.
How do you feel about the Japanese?

Speaker 1 Do you have any Japanese friends? No.

Speaker 1 Chinese friends? No. Korean friends? oh, yeah,

Speaker 1 are you going to therapy still? No, no more therapy, I don't need it, you don't need it. I'm a normal person, you're a normal person, you're a normal person.
You're a pretty normal person.

Speaker 1 I say, well, I have to pay $100 to $10.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we pay. Oh, yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And she sent me, you know, like a text message. You don't like it.
No, no, no. It's okay.
She's how you.

Speaker 1 You only went one time. I thought you said you're going to go.
I say I wasn't feeling good. You know, I have to lie to her

Speaker 1 because I cannot tell her I don't have any problems.

Speaker 1 People have a problem, right? Yeah, yeah. But I don't want a problem.
You don't have any problems. No, not that kind of to talk to people.
Okay. I can talk to myself at home.

Speaker 1 But, mom, but can I ask you something? Growing up, there was a lot of trauma.

Speaker 1 Well, I got over.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? I have a trauma. You don't have dreams about your little sister? Yeah, but that's in a trauma.
That is. It is, mom.
Well, she died and she was in my dreams. She died in front of you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, in the car accident. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that's not traumatic? Well, it was like 70 years ago. Oh, okay.
Well, then. You know, I'm 80.
You're 80 now. Yeah, you happened when I was like...

Speaker 1 She's over. No, but I know, but my point is, is that even if I'm a 10-year-old kid and I saw Steve get run over by a truck.
But I didn't... see her that accident.
You came back down and then you...

Speaker 1 So we went to school first. And she follow us at school later because she wake up late.
Oh, she woke up late? Yeah, so we didn't see her accident. I guess that's a lesson.
You're waking up on time.

Speaker 1 Good comedy, dude. Universal dude.

Speaker 1 No, you wake up normal time. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Five will

Speaker 1 in the afternoon. In the afternoon, yeah.
So, mom, in terms of the Japanese, though, you have normal resentment. Yeah, let's get back to racism.
Yeah, yeah. No, let's go.
Let's move on. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 The Japanese, he says you don't like any Japanese people at all.

Speaker 1 I didn't say that. He did.
He said that. I never said that.
I was just asking. I didn't say I didn't like the Japanese people.
I know, but you remember the oppressed. I know that's the government.

Speaker 1 Oh, the government. Yeah, not people.

Speaker 1 Right. Whoa, just like Godzilla minus one.
That's right. That's the exact same thing.
Right? That's the same theme. You're right, Mom.
It's the government, not the government. Yeah, not people.

Speaker 1 Whoa, dude. Why did you say that growing up?

Speaker 1 You never said that shit growing up. You never asked.
Yeah, you still would say crazy shit. You never asked.
I know.

Speaker 1 But that was very clever. I mean, you're right.
It's the government, not the people. Right.

Speaker 1 Because when I see the Japanese people, they're very nice. I love them.
I love them too. You know? Yeah.
But maybe their government is not nice to Korea. Yeah.
Like Emperor Hirohito.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they are Emperor Hirohito. About 40 years.

Speaker 1 They took everything. They took rice.

Speaker 1 Rice?

Speaker 1 Or trees? Trees. Well, you cut all the trees, Korean trees, to make them to like a war.

Speaker 1 They took them down all the time.

Speaker 1 Oh, so they chopped down the trees

Speaker 1 to make war

Speaker 1 to make war. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they labor. Koreans go there and labor.
They labor. Yeah.
Yeah. No pay.
No pay. No.
No pay. Even yoja go there.
Oh, yoja. Women to do what?

Speaker 1 What is it?

Speaker 1 Utku prostitute.

Speaker 1 Well, it's all full circle. It's all full circle.
No pay. No pay, okay.
Oh, so the prostitutes didn't get paid. So back in the day, this is what I can tell you.
Now that I won't stand for.

Speaker 1 I won't stand that yet. The trees I'm fine with.
The rice is fine. Back in the day, Japanese came to Korea.
They chopped down their trees for some reason. Well, because they take away their oxygen.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's how cruel. That's actually pretty clever.
How cruel. Japanese, man, they're so smart.
They're so smart. What?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're Emperor Hirito. I'm like, cut them off where they breathe.

Speaker 1 Emperor Hirito. What do you mean? What are you implying? Choke them out.

Speaker 1 How do we do that? Rebota trees.

Speaker 1 You're a genius, Empodo hit. Can you imagine that's what a what a roundabout way to try to kill people is to rip out trees? Well, that's crazy.
That's insane. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Then after that, Korean wall broken. Everything,

Speaker 1 you know, everything destroyed. You saw it all.
No, no, no trees, no trees. No house.
No house. No, no.

Speaker 1 and how old were you when that happened?

Speaker 1 How old were you? I was like seven years old, wow, and I remembered exactly, you know, all the stuff. Oh, yeah, that really never forget.
You never forget, so that's maybe trauma, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a trauma, that's real trauma, yeah, that's true. That's real, you know, that wasn't really the best, bad memory,

Speaker 1 right? Okay, oh,

Speaker 1 I don't want to talk about

Speaker 1 you look at him still, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but that was trauma.

Speaker 1 Oh, but that's not a bad memory to me. I have a really not bad memory.
No, really. I remember the exactory, what happened? Mom, mom, did you see dead bodies?

Speaker 1 Did you see dead people in the

Speaker 1 streets? On the street. How many? Many, many, many.
And that's the biggest.

Speaker 1 Kind of

Speaker 1 mountain. I remember the mountain.
Remember the mountain? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Okay.
This was the original

Speaker 1 concept of six cents.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? What do you mean? She saw dead people. She did subheavy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a sixth cent.
She said, she said she saw thousands of dead people bodies, but that's not fine.

Speaker 1 But it's no big deal. No big deal.
Yeah, well. Seven years ago.
Seven years ago.

Speaker 1 What do you expect? What do you expect?

Speaker 1 What? Parties? A party? Yeah.

Speaker 1 A war party. By the way, imagine if a dictator was like, it's war.
What do you expect? Parties?

Speaker 1 Dead people. Dead people.
The hunger people. Hunger people.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 No food.

Speaker 1 What did you eat then as a kid?

Speaker 1 Like most

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 mom, look at me. No.

Speaker 1 No, I don't eat. I don't.

Speaker 1 No, no, I don't need any.

Speaker 1 But you know people that eat dog? No, I don't lick. I don't like.
You don't lick?

Speaker 1 You don't lick dogs? No. No.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, I never. Did you eat dogs back then? Yeah.
Dog.

Speaker 1 Gagogi.

Speaker 1 Some people.

Speaker 1 You never ate gagogi. No.

Speaker 1 Okay. You can tell.
You can tell she hasn't eaten.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you don't have it. Yeah, you don't have it here.
No skinny fish.

Speaker 1 You can tell it. You can tell.
You can always tell. There's skins early around.
There's no meat when I was young. No meat.
Yeah, vegetarian. Until I came here.
To America. Yeah.
You know. Okay.

Speaker 1 How old are you when you moved to the United States? 24. 24.

Speaker 1 So I've been here like almost 60 years.

Speaker 1 And my English is so good. So good.
No. It is.
It's not like Korean. I speak perfect Korean.
Well, your Korean is flawless, but your English is pretty good. It's better than his.
Fancy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, listen how bad his English is. Oh, my English is okay.
See, he's from Spain.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, there it is.

Speaker 1 There we go. There we go.

Speaker 1 That's good.

Speaker 1 Itu, itu. Itu, que talistas.
Yes, yeah. I speak a little bit.
You do.

Speaker 1 Poquito, poquito. Poquito.

Speaker 1 That's his wife's nickname for him, Poquito. Do you remember this song, Mom?

Speaker 1 San.

Speaker 1 San Toki. Tokia.
Yeah, sing it. Rabbit.

Speaker 1 You want to sing it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, yeah. I want to sing it with the raise.
Santoki, Tokia. San Toki, Tokia.

Speaker 1 Odir Ganenya.

Speaker 1 Thank you. I can't believe there hasn't been any Korean superstar musicians.

Speaker 1 You don't think that's a good song? Roll Row Your Bowl, Roll Row Your Bowl, right? And that's not really a Grammy Award-winning song, is it? Row, Row, Row Your Bow.

Speaker 1 Gentry in the String. Pretty good.
Yeah, very good.

Speaker 1 Merrily.

Speaker 1 Now, this part's going to be hard for both of you.

Speaker 1 Merrily, Merrily.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got to go through right to that one.

Speaker 1 You fit that one like LMNAP.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 anyway let's go back so last night um you went to strip club you lost all our money he owes us the red red that kid with the hat he owes us sixteen sixteen hundred dollars give it to me give it to her

Speaker 1 give her give her the money give her mother

Speaker 1 she's gonna bring it home yeah oh what's the consequences you asked yeah i'd like to know i mean cash only yeah yeah

Speaker 1 cash only bitch I think consequences that you're just on

Speaker 1 you're on your last straw

Speaker 1 Are you meaning it right now? Yeah, you're on the last straw.

Speaker 1 You're on the last straw, like he is. Carlos is the last straw.

Speaker 1 You're on the last straw. You fuck up one more time.

Speaker 1 We're going to have to let you go. And I'll tell you this.
I'm going to be real. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Everywhere I go. Oh,

Speaker 1 so Toji,

Speaker 1 Toji, he's speaking. No, he doesn't speak English.
Oh. Yeah, yeah.
Everywhere we go, they go, hey, women, men, cooler than you, harder working than you, more likable than you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, can we work for you guys? I'll do anything. Yeah, that's a lot.
Right?

Speaker 1 You're ungrateful.

Speaker 1 You lose our money. Yeah.
Right? At dinner last night, we probably spent thousands of dollars on that. $12,000, yeah.
Right? No, guess what he asked for in the beginning?

Speaker 1 Caviar. Caviar.

Speaker 1 The guy asked for caviar. This kid, this kid right there in the red, he wants caviar for dinner.
No, no, it wasn't a joke. It wasn't a joke.
It was not a joke. He was like this.

Speaker 1 He's He's like, oh, is he smoking? Yeah. Yeah, there was no, this is, no cigarette was in it.
Right. That's how insane it is.
Yeah, yeah. He had a monica.

Speaker 1 Haviar.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he goes, Bob, we can get caviar. He didn't say, can we get, right? He said, we can get caviar.
Yeah. And I said, I wanted it.
Yeah. But what did I say? No.
No.

Speaker 1 Because you fucked it up. By the way, if you didn't say anything, he would have got the caviar.
But then you said something. And you expect the caviar.
And I made him finish everything.

Speaker 1 He wanted tuna tartare and himachi crudo. So I I made him eat it all.
And then when he was full and he said, I can't eat any more food, there was tomahawk steak left over from you guys.

Speaker 1 I made him finish that too. Yeah.
Because you have to finish.

Speaker 1 Jesse, you don't come to Vegas often? This is your second time here?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Well, I've been doing, but open mics, like not even on the strip.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I, well, I headlined wise guys to shout out to Polly, but this is the most fun I've ever had on the strip.

Speaker 1 We had so much fun last night. I'm sad that you weren't with us.
You had to go to bed early. I understand you got to get your sleep, but we had a great time.
Well, I don't drink.

Speaker 1 So we weren't drinking. But at one point, at some point, well, I was also hanging out with people.

Speaker 1 I know, I get it. He's on his last straw.
You're on his last straw. Are you leaving? Where are you going?

Speaker 1 Yeah, please get out of here. I don't want to look at your face anymore for a little while.
Oh, my. Oh my God.
Unbelievable.

Speaker 2 He just deserves the world.

Speaker 1 I know. We give him so much.
I mean,

Speaker 1 he did Vegas, right? He didn't spend a dime off his own money. That is exactly correct.
The best way to do Vegas is to have everybody pay for everything for you. That's right, right?

Speaker 1 So this is our our 200th episode. It's pretty powerful.
If we're going to sit in it for a second, it's pretty amazing. We've done 200.
We did 200 episodes.

Speaker 1 Let's be honest. It's hard

Speaker 1 to constantly, you know, I mean, it's hard, but I think that we have a really good team. And boy, what a good combination, me and Andrew.
And it's true. It really is.
It is. It is.

Speaker 1 It's a good combination.

Speaker 1 It's the best thing I've done in a very, very long time. Same.

Speaker 1 You do bring, you know, riffraff.

Speaker 1 I can't help it. It's like charity work.

Speaker 1 I got to bring my boys around. I don't have a choice.

Speaker 1 But I have to say to the fans,

Speaker 1 it's the greatest thing I think that's ever happened to me in show business. It is me too.
I've said that multiple times. I spent so long trying to find a real audience.

Speaker 1 And I have, you know, audiences from different things I've done.

Speaker 1 But this is like

Speaker 1 this fan base feels like they're going to be there for a very long time. I hope so.
No, I know so. I feel it.
I know. I feel that.

Speaker 1 And when I meet them in the streets, there's an immediate sort of like bonding I have. I'm just saying, I've just been, I'm so grateful for it.
You know,

Speaker 1 other things I've done have been good, but this has been

Speaker 1 amazing. And, you know, it's funny when

Speaker 1 this old guru told me a long time ago.

Speaker 1 Can I tell you what an old guru told me? Tell me.

Speaker 1 He goes,

Speaker 1 He goes,

Speaker 1 if you stay sober he said to me right he said um

Speaker 1 all the things that you drown dream of

Speaker 1 are they're not gonna happen i go okay if you stay sober if you stay sober why he goes what god's gonna do is give you things that you're not gonna expect and that are better right

Speaker 1 and i go oh And that's, it's been true. Zach.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, oh. Whoa, whoa, what's going on there, bud? I don't know.
My neck hurts.

Speaker 1 Well, you know what to do. What do I do? Just Zock Doc.
Oh, yes. Zock Doc, dude.
Come on, dude. Yeah, guy, come on.
You guys haven't heard about Zock Doc. What's going on with you?

Speaker 1 Zock Doc is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online.

Speaker 1 When I moved to a new neighborhood, I wanted to find a doctor. You don't know who to ask.
Do you trust your neighbors? I don't know.

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Speaker 1 We're talking about tens of thousands of doctors, all with verified patient reviews. So you can make sure that the vibes are vibing before you ever

Speaker 1 meet in real life. You don't have to, you get to know them before you even meet them, right? That's the best part.
Yeah.

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Speaker 2 The strip club, can we circle back for just a second? Yeah. The first time I went to a strip club was not fun at all.
I went on a first date.

Speaker 1 Wait, what? What?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I went to meet this guy and I really liked him. And I got to the restaurant and he was with 10 other friends.
And then he said, we're all going to a strip club.

Speaker 2 And it was just like really awkward. And so I always thought of them negatively.

Speaker 1 But last night was so fun. Wait, here's here's the best part.
She told me the story last night.

Speaker 1 How long did you still see that guy for after the first day? Three months.

Speaker 1 So it obviously didn't matter. It didn't matter.
Like clearly, it didn't really matter. Three more months after that, you still were like, maybe he'll change.

Speaker 2 But I never went back to a strip club. This was like 10 years ago.

Speaker 1 It was the first time that we busted that strip club cherry for her and for McCone for real.

Speaker 2 I can't look at women the same.

Speaker 1 In a good way. Yeah.
You respect them even more as acrobatic entities of athleticism. Yeah.
They're amazing. These women were unreal.
I mean, it was almost as if they got girls from Cirque du Soleil

Speaker 1 and they were like, hey, I know you love doing acrobatics.

Speaker 1 Do you mind money being thrown at you? Oh, wow. And they were like, instead of a check, can we just have money thrown at you? Cause you're so good.
They're so good at the acrobatics.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shocking.
There was a girl that could hit her legs above her head on the floor so hard it shook the floor and it hurt my feet. Wow.
Like

Speaker 1 stung by it. Can I ask you something? Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you were with your wife and she did that, is that sexy? I don't know why they would even need to do that. Well, if the setup was like that, like if I had a poll at my house with a stage,

Speaker 1 how funny if she came up to me and she was giving me rates?

Speaker 1 And she's like, You want to dance? And I'm like, Yeah. And she's like, 250.
I'm like, come on. Your wife? And she turns around.
She's like, get this guy out of here.

Speaker 1 Get kicked out of my own house. I'm just saying the things they do in the strip clubs isn't stuff that you would see in the bedroom.
Okay, but here's the deal:

Speaker 1 what's sexy about it is that

Speaker 1 it's like this naughty,

Speaker 1 ungettable fantasy world. It's like you're watching anime.
It's like it's not real. It's real, but it's not.
Oh, he's got a fart.

Speaker 1 What are you doing?

Speaker 1 What's going on?

Speaker 1 No, yeah. Okay.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it, do it.
No, let her do it. What I'm saying is all they have to do is just stand there like this.
No, no, no. No.
That's not what they do.

Speaker 1 They do a lot of things. That's all they have to do.

Speaker 2 You know what it's like to stand up? That's all they have to do. It's like stand-up.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. You kept doing this last night.
You kept saying it's like stand-up.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they got the host, he's bringing them on. They do their act, and you watch, and you're like, wow, but you're not going to go home and do your act, you know, to your friends.

Speaker 1 See, exactly. No, she's right because she even said that there were three stages and she goes, so this is like the main room, and that's like the belly room.
She said, to the small stage. Oh, really?

Speaker 1 Yeah. And it was.
You could tell they were working out over there. Yeah, they were working out there.
They were trying some of the tricks. Wow.
And by the way, the DJ is just like a host. Yes.

Speaker 1 The DJ is a little middle host. And then sometimes.
There were two girls that came at the same time. And she goes, that's like the Scar Brothers.
Yeah, there was a duo. There was a duo.

Speaker 1 Yeah, thank you. I forgot that it looked a lot more like that.
Oh, really?

Speaker 1 She goes, That's like the Scar Brothers. I go, That's exactly.
This is just like stand-up. All night she kept doing that.
It was very cute. She kept going, Wow.
I should have gone.

Speaker 1 She goes, This is just like stand-up. Yeah.
Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 2 Don't you guys feel like we're just

Speaker 1 funny strippers? We are funny strippers. But it's also, they're both in the same environment, you know, to drink minimum usually.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. It's really sad.
What's going on? No, let her do it.

Speaker 1 Do your thing. Do your iPad thing, baby.
Do your iPad thing. The last time, last time we saw Bobby's mom,

Speaker 1 um Bobby mom had to do it had to do it the last time we saw Bob's mom we were in Phoenix and the moment we got her in there she got right on her iPad like this and she showed me she was downloading photos of BTS boys yeah yeah yeah so and there's got to be 10,000 I'm not even kidding how many photos are in there of BTS boys 45

Speaker 1 45,000 45 4500 photos you know what dude I'm gonna let her do what she

Speaker 1 she wants to do i didn't hurt anybody you never hurt anybody no she would be a great dictator for real

Speaker 1 know.

Speaker 1 I know, I know.

Speaker 2 You should give her some dictator lines.

Speaker 1 You think she'd be a good dictator? Yes. Yeah, let's hear it.
Let's give her a line. What's the line?

Speaker 1 The baker must.

Speaker 1 The baker.

Speaker 1 Just

Speaker 1 chop his head off, but don't set him on fire. All right, here we go.

Speaker 1 This is what you want you to say.

Speaker 1 The baker.

Speaker 1 Repeat after me: the baker. Baker.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Don't chop his head off. Don't chop the cut off.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, no. The baker.
Baker. Yeah.
Chop his head off. Chop the head off.
Don't set him on fire. Don't set him on a fire.

Speaker 1 Can you do that on your own? Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Don't. No.
The baker. Don't chop his head off.
Oh, no. The baker, chop his head off.
Don't set him on fire. Say it.
Go.

Speaker 1 The baker. The baker.
Chop his head off.

Speaker 1 Top off his head. Yeah, yeah, there you go.
And don't set him on fire.

Speaker 1 That's what you'll do it now.

Speaker 1 Say it now.

Speaker 1 Baker? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Don't chop him.

Speaker 1 Just forget it.

Speaker 1 Don't cut off his head. Yeah, yeah.
No, chop his head off.

Speaker 2 This is the same as.

Speaker 1 This is the same as. We should write it down.
I think she's going to say it.

Speaker 1 I want to find out. I tell you, I think we got to start this one-on-one class over again.
I think that

Speaker 1 if you're going to do it, you got to really get her into it. You got to set the mood, set the character.

Speaker 1 I mean, you were, you were so quick, you were kept, and you kept telling her the wrong thing to say every time. What do you tell her?

Speaker 1 All right, you ready for a dictator phrase? Okay,

Speaker 1 say, um,

Speaker 1 all the women, all the women

Speaker 1 burn them alive,

Speaker 1 burn them alive,

Speaker 1 burn them alive,

Speaker 1 burn, burn them alive. So, okay, say that.
All the women burn them on

Speaker 1 live. That's good enough.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good. Yeah, yeah.
That's a pretty good dictator.

Speaker 2 This is also how Biden prepares for his speeches.

Speaker 1 So good. Yeah.
Same consistency. Yeah.
That's pretty good. That's very good, dude.

Speaker 2 Very good. I'd vote for you.

Speaker 1 Would you run for president in 20? Would you run for president?

Speaker 1 Run for president? Would you want to be the president of the United States? Yeah. No.
You'd never run.

Speaker 2 That's why she'd be so good.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait, wait.

Speaker 1 Can I grab this real quick? This is concerning. Who's that?

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 Sorry. This is concerning.
What is it? She's got.

Speaker 1 Show me.

Speaker 1 Tamas.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 What's going on over here, mom? Arabian. Arab.
I don't know, but talking to the mic. Talking to the mic.
Is this Tamas?

Speaker 1 He's very good looking. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And it's somebody you've been talking to?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Yeah.
He's

Speaker 1 kick out of the country. Yeah.
Because they're afraid every woman is going to fall for him. Oh, right.
So only women are going to be afraid of him.

Speaker 1 And you think he's handsome. Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he has to live in seclusion.
He's handsome. Right.
But what if he had a Brazil deck?

Speaker 1 Brazil penis.

Speaker 1 Oh, you like this, man? Oh, girl. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You don't like Brazil penis. No, I did that.
But what if he had one? What if he had a Picochu? No, I don't want to see that.

Speaker 1 Oh, you want to see the penis? No. No, you just just want to shake hands and play chess or something.
Yeah. Why don't you see the penis? Penis.
All right.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
Lunatic. Lunatic.
Me? Yeah. Yeah.
Sorry.

Speaker 1 Hold on.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 We got to get her a bigger iPad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're right. You're right.
There's going to be a different way of doing this. 100%.
There's got to be a different way to do it. Mom, what are you doing? What'd you do? Okay, don't bother me.

Speaker 1 Don't bother me. Don't bother me.

Speaker 1 She's not playing fruit and stuff. This is what she does all day.
That's what's concerning to me. She lives by herself.
But what do you do?

Speaker 1 What do you do that's so different? You play video games all day. How is that so different? That is true.
That is true. That is true.
That's true. That's true.
What is the difference? That is true.

Speaker 1 Nothing. There is no difference.
Yeah. This is fine.
At least this is

Speaker 1 like exercise. Exercising and engaging and fun.
Yeah, yeah. Because yours is a little too immersive.

Speaker 1 You're going to the gym too. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
She goes to the gym. You go to the gym every day.
You swim every day?

Speaker 1 Once a week is a lot. Ask him how often he goes to the gym.
Never. Okay.
That's right. Yeah.
Thanks, mom. Well, she is right, though.
She is right.

Speaker 1 Do you think we can get you on a workout plan for 2024?

Speaker 1 We talked about it. Are you really going to come through with it or no? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yep. Could change subject.
I can feel that. Yeah, yeah.
I don't want to talk about that. You know, why not?

Speaker 1 Because our health is not. I'm not going to do it.
Why?

Speaker 1 Really? What's concerning about my health? Do you have concerns of my health? Andreas.

Speaker 1 No, you look very healthy. How about you? Do you have concerns?

Speaker 2 It's weird because on paper, yes. But I know you personally, and you are so spriteful, and you seem much younger than your age.

Speaker 1 How about you guys?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 You think Carlos, you're concerned?

Speaker 1 The Red Bull, yeah. Oh, Carlos.

Speaker 1 Carlos.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Look at him.
The pot. Who is that? He's a making.
What?

Speaker 1 Who is this? Can we show who this is now to the group? Oh, oh, oh,

Speaker 1 a Korean chef. No, but she goes.

Speaker 1 oh,

Speaker 1 pull the mic closer.

Speaker 1 Mom, you have to talk on the mic. Oh, why? Because that's no one can hear you.

Speaker 1 They don't have to. Oh, yeah.
So, what is he doing?

Speaker 1 You go ceramic class and then he's ceramic class, yeah. They are making something, but like he's saying, What is this? Because he's doing pico MD.
Oh, yeah, yeah. So you think it's a penis?

Speaker 1 It looks like

Speaker 1 you laughed at that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 He's a BTS. He's BTS.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's our oldest. He's oldest.
He's an auntie.

Speaker 1 You know that he does that every night in this house.

Speaker 1 They are like a saint.

Speaker 1 They're like saints. They don't do that.
They don't do,

Speaker 1 they're like saints and priests. They go after little boys.
They don't touch saints.

Speaker 1 They don't touch their own. Yeah.
She thinks that the BTS are like angels. They are.
They are. Yeah, they are.
Tell me they're not. How would they not be angels? Those are beautiful little angel boys.

Speaker 1 We don't know what they do, but there's no way. That's insane to say that.

Speaker 1 i think late at night when they're done performing yeah they go eat dinner they pray and they go to bed and they don't go to a party they don't go to party when they have a grammy here yeah after that they don't go to a party they go to hotel and they and they suck each other off

Speaker 1 they go to the hotel

Speaker 1 they talk to with their fans you know oh really

Speaker 1 you think they talk or do you think what

Speaker 1 she doesn't mom you know this

Speaker 1 like enjoy don't pay attention i know but we can't hear you and there's ruin the show. We can't hear you.
No, you don't know me. I'm here, okay? So pretend I'm not here.

Speaker 1 You don't know me. Superstar.
Honestly, I know, but this is the kind of superstar stuff that I'm feeling like children.

Speaker 1 Like my throat.

Speaker 1 That's in my favor.

Speaker 1 Let's see. Oh, my goodness.
My favorite. She said that's her favorite phone.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'm like Elvis Presley.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Yeah, your hip was crooked.
That was something they had to say.

Speaker 1 You owe that good lucky if you lose your,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 stomach, you lose your stomach, yeah,

Speaker 1 fat stomach, extra fat, yeah, exercise, exercise, yeah. You are, you have a young face,

Speaker 1 you look like about Tony,

Speaker 1 but this one doesn't go together, right? You know, what your face and this is doesn't make you what's this mean

Speaker 1 my stomach, you think I'm fat, fat, Yeah. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 See, look at you. You look like him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know. You do kind of have like a Elvis.
You know why, mom? Why? Because that's fucking me. Hey, hey.
Be nice. Now be with me, guys.
She just said I'm fat. She speaks the truth.

Speaker 1 You look like a song hung min. Okay.

Speaker 1 You do kind of have the same Elvis pattern. When you were young, you looked like him.

Speaker 1 And then you know when he got like bloated and ate peanut butter and banana sandwiches, you kind of look like that Elvis right now, the one that died on the toilet.

Speaker 1 That's what she's saying. I know what she's saying.
That's what she said. It makes my throat sore.

Speaker 1 It gets me flustered. It does.
It gets me. She makes me flustered.
Why? And gets my emotions running. He's sad now.
Now he's sad. She doesn't care.
Look at her.

Speaker 2 You take that from your mom, though.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 2 Like the other day, you said, I look like a turtle.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's right. Is that the same thing?

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's kind of, and then I get flushed.

Speaker 2 You do that good. You learn a special

Speaker 1 makes you stronger. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, being direct.

Speaker 1 Being direct. Okay, I know you.
Oh, I know, mom. You're not.

Speaker 1 What? You don't look like a turtle. No, I

Speaker 1 you look like Arab's presence. Thank you, mom.
You said that before. Thank you so much.
She looks like a turtle. I look like a turtle.
No. What does she look like? Women.

Speaker 1 Okay, she looks like a woman. All the women.
What do I look like?

Speaker 1 No, red hair. Orangutan.
Yeah, orangutan. Orangutan.
I heard her. I know what she was saying.
That's what she means. Yeah.
It's a stuck on me. It's stuck on you.
Red hair, it's a forever red hair.

Speaker 1 It's forever red hair. Yeah, what am I going to do with it? You know?

Speaker 1 I'm trying my best. Yeah, that's your.
Am I ugly? No.

Speaker 1 Is he handsome? No. Mom.

Speaker 1 Is he handsome? You know how. Is he handsome? He's shaved.

Speaker 1 Is he handsome? You're tough, mom. Be nice.

Speaker 1 Why are you like muscling her? Because you can't talk about the face.

Speaker 1 Be nice.

Speaker 1 If I shaved my beard, would I be handsome? Yeah, I'll get rid of it. Because I don't like beard.
You don't like beards? It's cheaper as a beard than me.

Speaker 1 Well, because it's too straight. What about his facial hair? Do you like his facial hair? His face on his mustache? Yeah.
It looks nice.

Speaker 1 That one's okay. And I like his long hair, too.
He has beautiful long hair. No, like when he was at high school, his hair is this long.
I know. They used to pull on it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I say, you know, can just cut your hair? No,

Speaker 1 my ancestor has a man has a long hair. Who said that? I said that? You said that.
Because, yeah, they have hair and bonded, and they have, you know, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I told them because in high school, I had long hair daughters, yeah, 4,000 years, you know. Yeah, and I said, Our ancestors had long hair.

Speaker 1 I said, I cannot say nothing because

Speaker 1 that's true. You can say nothing.
Your ancestors did have long hair. Yeah,

Speaker 1 and no truth. Beautiful long hair.
Beautiful. He still has beautiful long hair.

Speaker 1 So 200, huh? 200 episodes. This is our 200th episode.

Speaker 1 Wow. Wow.
Yeah. It's a miracle.
It's a miracle, huh? Straight from heaven. I mean, it is impressive.
200. I know.
That's a lot. I know.
And I'm glad you came out for this. This is big.

Speaker 1 Carlos. Carlos.
I know Carlos is right there.

Speaker 1 We exchange text

Speaker 1 for three days. Yeah, yeah.
Three days. Yeah.
Whoa.

Speaker 1 Because he sent me an airplane ticket. Yeah.
He didn't say what airline. Oh, he didn't say what airline.
So,

Speaker 1 Carlos, you bought her a ticket. American Airline or Southwest.
You know, he says the Southwest. Right.
But their colour is American Airlines. Right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he didn't know where I can meet him. Right.
He doesn't know much. Yeah.
So I say, I'm at the in a baggage plane. Yeah.
He said, I'm there too.

Speaker 1 And he said one number, I said, two, and he came right back. He came right back.
Yeah. But he's a good guy.
He's trying. Oh, yeah.
He's trying. Hold me.
And, you know,

Speaker 1 wait, wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, back it up.

Speaker 1 What do you say? Hold. He holds no more.

Speaker 1 How does he hold you?

Speaker 1 Nicely. Nicely.
Yeah. Very gentlemanlike.
Gentleman-like. Not hold-like.
Oh, yeah. Where's his hands at?

Speaker 1 Where does he put your hands? On your butt?

Speaker 1 Oh, no. No.

Speaker 1 Right here. Right here.
Back. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Watch your hands, bud.
Watch your hands, dude. Watch out.
Watch out.

Speaker 1 No butt.

Speaker 1 No butt. No butt.
No butt. Because he gets handsy with women.
He grabs butts.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'm going to hit him.
Yeah, you hit him.

Speaker 1 I'd love to see that. Yeah.
I'd love to see you hit him.

Speaker 1 We've had a good, we had a, we've had a good time.

Speaker 1 This has been the most confusing episode. It's confusing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I do want to say I wish Rudy could be here. Me too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that would have included. She's taking her final.
For people that want to know, she's in the middle of her finals to complete her

Speaker 1 second year in college.

Speaker 1 God, that's fucking nuts. Nuts.
The time. You knew where you in high school, right? Yeah.
Yeah. Isn't that crazy? It's crazy.
And she's,

Speaker 1 she's grown up to be a good girl. Yeah.
Yeah. She is the

Speaker 1 grown up to be a really, and I'm so, you know, I have to say, I think I had a lot to do with it. I think you had some to do with it for sure.
A lot. Some a lot.
Yeah. Yeah.
Some of it. Principles.

Speaker 1 Principles. Values.

Speaker 1 Ethics. Ethics for sure.
A moral foundation. Moral fiber that you have.
Exactly. And you need more fiber, by the way.
We were talking about that earlier.

Speaker 1 Well, my mom saying that I was fat really fucking threw me into a... You're not fat.
I think that she goes, if I lost this, I would look like BTS.

Speaker 1 And that's not true. We know that.

Speaker 1 Because your weight isn't going to change your face. And that's nuts.
I mean, it'll change the way your face is structured, but you're not going to turn into Matt Reif.

Speaker 1 How funny.

Speaker 1 If you did. Imagine if you lost 20 pounds and you became Asian Matt Reif.

Speaker 2 Oh, what would I do? Somebody please make that image.

Speaker 1 Asian Matt Rife, please.

Speaker 1 Please. Asian Matt Rife.
Matt Rice. Matt Rice.
Matt Rice.

Speaker 1 That's funny. Matt Rice.
Sushi Matt Rice.

Speaker 1 All right. So I I want to say I love you guys.
And let's take one quick minute. Bobby had a great little speech in the middle of this that was very touching and meaningful.

Speaker 1 We appreciate the fans so very much. It's meant the world to us to be able to travel, to see you guys,

Speaker 1 to come see us live.

Speaker 1 I think 100,000 people came and saw us this year or something like that. It was pretty incredible.

Speaker 1 That was incredible. And we did a ton of cities and we're going to do a ton of cities more.
And from the bottom of my heart, it's been incredible. And I hope we continue this journey for a long time.

Speaker 1 And thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you for being a friend.

Speaker 1 I told you my dice story here already, right? Andrew? My Andrew Dice Collective story. No.
I've never told you that. I don't think I've done that.

Speaker 1 I was working the back door at the comedy store, my comedy store t-shirt. I didn't know him.
And he walks into me and goes, he goes, he goes, hey, Ching. I go, yeah.
Who's your name, Ching?

Speaker 1 He just called me Ching. Oh.
Hey, Ching. That's a good guess.
I know, but he would go, I go, that's racist. He would go, no, chit-ching.
It's money. Oh, yeah.
That's really

Speaker 1 good.

Speaker 1 I didn't know if I was working in the back door. And I go, I go, this is 1997, six.
He goes, let's go. I'm working the back door.
I go, where are we going? He goes, Vegas.

Speaker 1 I go, I can't. He goes, I already talked to them.
You're going. What? Whoa.
So I go from literally working the back door. What? Yeah.
Into his car and we're driving to LAX.

Speaker 1 Here's another interesting note. When we were at the gate, I remember I was so scared.
I didn't know him. He lit a cigarette.
In the airport. At the gate.

Speaker 1 Holy shit. I go, I go, excuse me, Mr.
Clay,

Speaker 1 you can't smoke. He's like, I can.
And I will. And then they were coming.
He goes, watch this. He put it on the ground.
He stomped on it. And he pointed it.
And they're like, okay.

Speaker 1 Sounds like a nice guy. Yeah, he's great.
That sounds really nice.

Speaker 1 That's where you learn some techniques. Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 Looking for a fight mid-show.

Speaker 1 Looking for a fight, mid-show.

Speaker 1 He's looking for a fight mid-show.

Speaker 1 I said what you were saying. Please slow it down and look at me.
I'm not mad. Go ahead.
Tell me what you were saying. So that's what you learned something.
Learn one about the cigarettes and how to.

Speaker 1 Honestly, dude, I didn't know that you're not allowed

Speaker 1 to smoke here. I know.
Right.

Speaker 1 You know that at a gate, at an airport, a real cigarette. Also, this isn't a cigarette.

Speaker 1 When people complain about vape vipers, vape vipers. Vapors, I mean, vapor?

Speaker 1 It's not the same. That was our little gay gang.
I smoked this on the plane. No one gives a fuck.
It's not like a cigarette. You know, that's okay.
So, anyway. I wanted to transition real fast.

Speaker 1 You have penny loafers on? I didn't even notice you have a few little penny loafers on. Yeah.
Do you not put pennies in the loafers? What are those? You're wearing penny loafers.

Speaker 1 You see those little slots at the tongue?

Speaker 1 That's for putting a penny in for good luck. And if you come and, you know, if you...
If you come on a hard time, at least you have a couple of cents in your shoes. Children wear those shoes.

Speaker 1 They do, actually. We used to wear this at church when we were kids.

Speaker 1 And they hurt so much on your feet, don't they? Is that why you're wearing four socks?

Speaker 1 Yes. I didn't learn that from dice.
I'm a good guy. So, how was Vegas with dice? I want to know.
It gets crazier. What happened? So he goes, I go, where am I staying? In my room.
No. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I have no,

Speaker 1 no bag, no toothbrush, nothing. No clothes.
Holy shit. I'm in Vegas for now days.
Right? And he goes, you're my good look charm.

Speaker 1 So we go to the Mirage. Cha ching.

Speaker 1 And he starts losing. I have no money, by the way.
He lost 100 grand in 30 minutes. What was he playing? Blackjack.
He would do $20,000

Speaker 1 bets. That seems foolish.
I know. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But he had his good luck. Basically, I know.

Speaker 1 So check this out. For the next 24 hours, he lost half a million.
Oh, my God. Okay.

Speaker 1 Then he goes, get back in the car. Tells me to go back in the car.
I haven't eaten, slept, anything. We fly back.
He doesn't talk to me for two more years. Yeah, that makes sense.
You know why?

Speaker 1 You were his good luck charm. He's bad luck, he told everyone.
Oh my god. Oh my God.

Speaker 1 First of all, hey, dude, I got a side. He didn't even want to be there.
I know, but you should have rubbed some of that Chinese luck off of him or something. I don't know.
He doesn't know I'm Korean.

Speaker 1 I know. That's why you had to play, just play.
I know, but you can't play it.

Speaker 1 I can't manifest Chinese luck when you're Korean. I guess that's true.
Yeah, yeah. But you are the golden pig we learned yesterday.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, no, I'm a water pig.

Speaker 1 I'm the year of the water pig he's the year of the golden pig but then later he he he changed it to dice changed it to we only lost i only lost a hundred grand it was not true he lost so much that he had to do shows for mirage for free a couple of shows i remember he made a deal with them but my point is is that and then like no one talked to me for like two years because he was like oh no that guy's bad luck i go what the fuck i didn't do anything that was crazy that was my one of my first introductions it was my second time in vegas the first time was with paule when i got past so good things have happened here too as yeah that's really good yeah yeah but uh i turned 21 in vegas that was a really big deal for me yeah i turned 21 in vegas would you stay at circus circus where'd you go we stayed at uh

Speaker 1 uh where did i stay my 21st i think i stayed at the uh at the luxury oh that's nice no it's not it's not no the pyramid i've stayed there it's fun yeah fun elevators go this way fun is what you say when when it's sad it's fun it's fun yeah no it's very sad what happened that night the rooms were all wet i feel like i remember the room being wet when i walked in yeah like the air conditioning was like so old that I feel like it was moist.

Speaker 1 The walls were wet. Do you know what I mean by that?

Speaker 1 It felt damp and dewy. The billing was sweating.
It was sweating. It's a pyramid.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, the sun's beating on it all day. But I've gambled.

Speaker 1 We went to a little, like, um, by the big ferris, where we went to, there was like a nightclub there, and it was outside and we were dancing. And my dad handed me,

Speaker 1 I can't remember how much money he gave me, a couple hundred bucks. Your dad was there.
Yeah. And I, no, my biological father came, was he was here and he gave me a couple hundred dollars.

Speaker 1 I gambled and I was winning and I was winning. And then I almost got kicked out multiple times because I was being a loudmouth at the table.
And you can't be loud and rude.

Speaker 1 They ask you to leave if you start cussing. And I'm winning and I'm winning.

Speaker 1 And then, like the moron I am, I take all my chips and I go put it on red and lost everything immediately, just like this moron did.

Speaker 1 That's what I did to him last night. He won twice.
I said, You got to put it away.

Speaker 1 He went and gambled again, and you lost it again.

Speaker 1 And that's what you get. That's what Vegas is.
You're never going to win.