Salty Santa Comes Down Our Chimney ft. Stavros Halkias

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Speaker 1 Hey!

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, we're doing a casino run. We're doing a bunch of new dates in the new year 2024.
Where do we go, Bob? We go to Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Speaker 1 Then, bad friends, then Salt Lake City, bad friends, bad friends, bad friends, Temecula, California,

Speaker 1 Reno, Nevada, Sacramento, Sacramento, Long Beach, Long Beach, Winter Arizona, Niagara Falls, Tucson, Arizona, Las Vegas, Nevada, Las Vegas, Nevada.

Speaker 1 Go to bad friendspod.com for the tickets. Badfriendspod.com for the tickets.
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It's where you can get the shirt, that beanie, this beautiful mug. Patreon.

Speaker 1 Go to Patreon as well if you want the ad-free episodes and bonus content. Patreon.com slash bad friends.
Patreon.com slash bad friends. You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 You two or something. We're bad friends.
Santa Claus, Santa Claus.

Speaker 1 We're little Filipino elves. No.

Speaker 1 I heard

Speaker 1 dude, this is crazy, dude. I was in Hawaii once, dude.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Aloha. Aloha.
I was at an ABC store. Aloha.
Aloha. And I heard Frosty the Snowman over the speakers.
Aloha. Wow.
Frosty hates Hawaii. Don't play that song.
Why would he hate Hawaii?

Speaker 1 Because it's his enemy. The environment is the worst environment Hawaii for a snowman.
No, dude. He's made of Teflon.

Speaker 1 He's not made of snow. No, dude.
He's Teflon man? Teflonman.

Speaker 1 I think he's made of snow. I'm sorry to.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much. Stab made of snow.
Really? Frosty the snow. Even today.
I think so.

Speaker 1 Even like post-Trump, you think he's still made of snow? Yeah, dude. Still.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he can't just change who he is.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's right. You can't just change who you are.
You weren't exactly who you are. Well, it's just like being saying, I'm made out of rock now.
I'm not. I'm human.
Right.

Speaker 1 Like, you've like, like, for someone that's homophobic or racist, they can never change. They're going to be that way.
I'm that too.

Speaker 1 Bad friends, welcome. Welcome to our guest

Speaker 1 is beautiful, sexy Santa Stavros. Hello, everyone.
Stavi's the best, dude. I just want to also say before I get, I want to get up so I don't forget.
I won't forget. Yeah, right.
Happy holidays to you.

Speaker 1 Happy Hanukkah. Hanukkah and all of you.
Happy Christmas. Happy.

Speaker 1 Shaka Khan. Shaka Khan.
Chaka Khan. Chaka Kan.

Speaker 1 I saw a movie last night.

Speaker 1 Napoleon? No, just check it out. Okay.

Speaker 1 Goziro, minus a wood.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. It blew my mind.

Speaker 1 It was awesome.

Speaker 1 Did it blow your mind? It was so good. I cried.
I got scared. It's that good.
Oh, my God. I was riveting.
Goziro, minus wood.

Speaker 1 Did you get scared because it reminded you of your childhood when Godzilla destroyed your village? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I did.

Speaker 1 But he was a baby, Godzilla. Oh, shit.
So you walked in. He warmed up and he went

Speaker 1 to my dad. What was your favorite part?

Speaker 1 He fucked your dad

Speaker 1 when he was a baby.

Speaker 1 And then my dad, in his penis, a blue light shot out.

Speaker 1 Whoa, whoa. Out of his Godzilla's mouth.

Speaker 1 It was all electrified cum. Whoa.
I know, dude. That's crazy.
And then that's how I'm here. What was your favorite part of Godzira? Wait, you think you got here?

Speaker 1 You think Godzilla inseminated your dad's ass? And you were born out of his ass? Yeah. I did.
That's how it works. But you just said you witnessed this.
I know. I turned around when it came out.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I turned around. I go, wow, I'm here.
It happened that fast. Yeah.
Wow. I think, therefore, I am.
Descartes. Anyway,

Speaker 1 that's what I thought. You're deep today.
That's so good. Awesome.
I'm so good. Let me say something about it.
I know we don't do movie reviews. On the show.

Speaker 1 I didn't know that. This is not a movie review.
We talk about movies all the time. I know, but this time we're doing it too.
Okay. Okay.
And I want to say something. All right.

Speaker 1 You've seen so many Godzilla movies, no?

Speaker 1 I haven't seen that many.

Speaker 1 Well, how many Godzilla movies have you seen? I've seen two, I've seen a really old one, and the newest one with uh fucking Brian Cranston. Brian Cranston.

Speaker 1 That's all I've seen is the original and this one. That's crazy.
The Brian Cranston one. Yeah, the first one I saw, and then the one that's new to us.
No, there's two other ones on top of that.

Speaker 1 But the first one that came back from the, you know what I mean? Yeah, the Brian Cranston one. Right.
That was a very good one. It was

Speaker 1 there was that one scene where everybody's got parachutes and they great.

Speaker 1 That's the first one, right?

Speaker 1 In Hawaii. Yeah.

Speaker 1 In Hawaii. Yes.
Anyway,

Speaker 1 may I finish my review, please? Please. God damn it.
Please. Okay.
So I've seen all of them. Box Office Homo.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
I admit it. Not that.

Speaker 1 And I'm not tempted. Poppy Lee the Box Office Homo.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where you just go through it? It's in YouTube.

Speaker 1 Not Box Office Mojo.

Speaker 1 Just Box Office Homo. Number one, right? This is the first Godzilla movie I've ever seen where the story's riveting.
Okay. You could take Godzilla out of it, and it would be like a cool

Speaker 1 old-school Mirror Max movie. Why didn't they then?

Speaker 1 When you say old-school Mirror Max, you mean when Weinstein was running loose? Hell yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 When the Harv Dog was bad.

Speaker 1 It feels like a rapist had his hands all over this thing.

Speaker 1 It doesn't rape vibes anyway.

Speaker 1 So it was the first movie where I was really moved by the story where I literally cried. No.
Yeah. Really? Yeah.
I was

Speaker 1 sitting next to Gene. Why did you cry? What made you cry? The ending.
It was so touching. Wow.
No spoilies. No spoilies.
I looked at Gene and Gene had tears in his eyes. Wow.
And I was crying too.

Speaker 1 And number two, it's the first Godzilla movie. Listen to my last thing I'm going to say.
Well, can I make a joke real quick? Go ahead.

Speaker 1 When you guys cry?

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 1 What shape comes out?

Speaker 1 What? Not a teardrop. No, no.
What shape comes out? It's like a line. It's just a line.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like lines come down.

Speaker 1 You know, like Tetris pieces.

Speaker 1 All right, go ahead. I thought you were going to say I cried in joy because so many Japanese people died.
Well, that's part of it.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Revenge. Revenge.
Okay, so Turkey. Godzilla's Korean.

Speaker 1 And you'll have to say, oh, I'm Godzilla.

Speaker 1 That's funny.

Speaker 1 He is Korean. Yes.
so

Speaker 1 this is the first Godzilla movie where I saw where I was literally scared of it.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay, because I will say that. The original one, what year would you say it was? 2013?

Speaker 1 What do you mean the original? The Brian Cranston. The newest of the

Speaker 1 series. Yeah, 2014.
Wait, wait, this is a series? It's not a fresh reboot? I guess I mean, I don't know how to describe it. You know what I'm trying to do? Here's what happened.
All right. Please.

Speaker 1 Hollywood is coming out with the Godzilla from the Cranston, right? Oh, right.

Speaker 1 They're going to do a sequel of that movie. It's already made.

Speaker 1 Right. It's already made.

Speaker 1 Right. That's so good.
But Japan went, oh,

Speaker 1 could we do one too? Right, right, right. Hollywood's like, wow, go get it.
You know, do what you do. You created it, so go ahead.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 are we only going to use a $15 million to-do? Really?

Speaker 1 It's a $100 million movie looking $50 million. Get the fuck out of here, really? $15 million? $15 million.

Speaker 1 And I'm telling you, dude, when Godzilla's chasing things and when he appears, you get scared. You're like, sick.

Speaker 1 Like, you have that feeling of like fear. Because that other one did not.
The Godzilla was awful, dude.

Speaker 1 Like, the movie was good, but the Godzilla itself was whack. Well, he was only

Speaker 1 Jurassic Park, kind of like, this is a T-Rex. Right.
It just didn't look cool. Or I don't like the idea that Godzilla has relationships.
It was barely humans. It was barely in the movie.

Speaker 1 That Godzilla was. Well, because they needed to keep it like that.
You know, they try to do that, like, the Jaws thing where they're like, what if we only show it when we need to?

Speaker 1 And then when they showed it, you were so unimpressed. You were like, maybe you shouldn't have showed it.
Yeah, yeah. It would have been rad if I almost never saw it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But in the new one, is Godzilla played by a human? Yeah. Like in the Hollywood version of Godzilla, Godzilla is like has like he'll identify some like a little girl.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It'll like, you know, go, hello, or whatever, right? But this Godzilla is like this beast. It doesn't have, you know what I mean, empathy or it's just, it just like a crazy.
It's just a being.

Speaker 1 It's a being. Huh? It's like a diet you know something.
Yeah. he's also not eating people.
He's just using his mouth to rip them apart. Whoa.
God, dude. It's so good.
We got to take his microphone.

Speaker 1 I know, I know. What'd you say? I didn't even know.
It's like a dinosaur.

Speaker 1 It's like a dinosaur.

Speaker 1 So, how are you Italian? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like a dinosaur. Yeah.
I love it. So, anyway, I would give this movie an A.

Speaker 1 You heard it here from Box Office Homo, A 55, 200. Whoa, dude, you gave it an A? It was.
A flat A. When you watch a movie like El Mariachi, you you know how that was made for $10,000? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And you watch the execution and you go, wow.
You can make a movie for $10,000. You can't, but...
You can. You cannot.
I mean, they did. Yeah.
Yeah, but you can't. Robert Rodriguez?

Speaker 1 This is like an anomaly. You can't do that.
You can't even find a rental equipment for fucking $10,000. No, what Robert Rodriguez is this one shot,

Speaker 1 one take, let's move on. I know.
He does everything.

Speaker 1 And by the way, you know what that really means is that everyone got screwed. Oh, dad, no one got paid.
That's the worst. There's no residuals.
Like, no editors, no one got paid.

Speaker 1 Maxim's like, I got one peso this year for

Speaker 1 fucking a Mariachi. Did you see what he gave us? He just does plane flyover.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But yeah, it was great.
And I really highly encourage you. You saw it.
What do you get? What do you rate it? I think it was one of the best ones type. It's the best podcill movie I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 Oh. Okay.
I'll say that right now. I love it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, let's welcome back, by the way. Savros.
Well, no, we can't. Give him a round of applause.

Speaker 1 My dad to the pod. Yeah, we're talking about my nips.
Greek god.

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 1 is our sexy sober reindeer right there? Is this our sexy sober reindeer? Hey, guys. Hey, man, how are you? Yeah, I'm doing all right.
Do you want to talk about anything?

Speaker 1 Let's talk about it. If you want to.
Well, can we

Speaker 1 let people know what happened first? Well, that's what I just asked you. Give it to Stavros.
First, give him the thing, and then he'll say.

Speaker 1 Tell Stavros. No, I want him to tell the story about the airport.
Well, that's the story, wouldn't it be? Yeah, well, there's the weekend before where, yeah, too.

Speaker 1 Right, but let's just get, let's cut the fat. What happened at the airport? Yeah, thank you.
So we were going to, let me just do a pre, and then he's going to go for it. All right, so you were.

Speaker 1 So here's. We're going to.
Check out Fat Rascal on Netflix, by the way, folks.

Speaker 1 Before we get too far.

Speaker 1 I just want to get that before we fucking covered Godzilla for some reason.

Speaker 1 Ask me how I'm doing. All right, sorry.
Bobby just kind of launched into an unplanned solo movie review.

Speaker 1 That's pretty much this.

Speaker 1 This fucking guy did some at the airport. We're going to talk about that for 15 minutes.
Before we do that, check out Fat Rascal on Netflix.

Speaker 1 And then buy a calendar. Buy a calendar.

Speaker 1 The calendar is hot. I have it right here.

Speaker 1 Please support the fat rascal, the Greek god himself. That's right.
But anyway, I apologize. No, don't.
Because you know what? We usually do cover that before the show starts, but you decided to

Speaker 1 change up the format, and I think that's smart. Nice.
Usually we don't try to plug people's shit in the middle of the show because it ruins it.

Speaker 1 Well, you did that on Tiger Belly, too. I liked it.
I liked it. No, you should do that.

Speaker 1 But Peely, please go watch one of our closest, and I mean this if I want to be genuine, one of my favorite comedians to watch, genuinely, one of our closest friends.

Speaker 1 Go watch Fat Rascal on Netflix right now and share it and send it all over. And now back to the sad, sober reindeer.
What happened? So let me just do a prepilogue. Yeah.
Yeah. Prelogue.
Prelogue.

Speaker 1 I mean, pre-logue. It's epilogue again.
Prologue.

Speaker 1 That's at the end. Pre-logue then.
Prologue.

Speaker 1 All right. So anyway.
You could write his epilogue right now if you'd like. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Stop. So we're going to,

Speaker 1 on the road, we were going to Wisconsin and Minnesota. That's right, yeah.
Right. I'm at the airport, right? I'm at my gate.
Bright and early. Bright and early, ready to go.
Right.

Speaker 1 And then I get emergency texts saying, you know, something about paramedics and something about Carlos is dead, you know what I mean? Throwing up.

Speaker 1 Bud. What? And all this.
And I'm like,

Speaker 1 I just get on the plane. I don't care.

Speaker 1 I'm like texting like, what the fuck is going on? And apparently he didn't make it. And then you posted photos photos of you

Speaker 1 in a wheelchair, which is fucking gross. Lunatic.
Lunatic. It's videotaping myself.
He's videotaping himself in the ER. That's crazy.
He's that guy.

Speaker 1 You remember that girl that got COVID that died of COVID? And she was like, she was one of the first people. She would document the whole thing.
She's like, not doing too well. And she died.

Speaker 1 This guy in a wheelchair being rolled around. And he's got the phone up and he's like winking at the phone in the ER.
They were not happy about that either. They were like, not me.

Speaker 1 They did not want to be. Yeah, they didn't want to be in your shit.
All right. So explain what what happened.
I was leaving TSA pre-check. Whoa, you were this happened at the airport.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What the fuck? Exactly a week ago, actually. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I'm leaving TSA. I'm starting to get all blotty and like I'm starting to get light-headed and stuff.
And I try and find a wall to like lean against. Damn, dude.
And I fall into the wall.

Speaker 1 And as I'm falling, I throw up everywhere. What the fuck?

Speaker 1 Lean against a wall. And like, I call.
Like, you just heard your husband died in Vietnam. You were like, lose.
Say it again.

Speaker 1 What really happened? I never even got to lean against the wall. I fell into it.

Speaker 1 Say that movie contagion, like a snap or that, like something. What the fuck? Puked all over the place.
Yeah, like someone slipped on my puke. Oh.
All right. Imagine running late to a fucking flight.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Some asshole throws up and you go, what?

Speaker 1 But Daniel at your club, right? He's in the... He's at the United Lounge or whatever? The lounge, where a lot of the rich people are.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Delta Lounge. They took me there.
They got me like bananas, stuff like that.

Speaker 1 That's a way to get into the Delta Lounge, by the way. Fake being sick.

Speaker 1 Make yourself throw up.

Speaker 1 They'll take you in there. They wouldn't medically clear me to fly, though.
Wow. Now, did you do anything bad that morning?

Speaker 1 Were you a bad boy that morning? Maybe nights before. Nights before.

Speaker 1 What'd you do? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just some drinkies. Nothing else? No, and the cops actually showed up and asked me about that.
If you were on something? Yeah. They're like, no diet pills? And I was like, no.
Diet pills?

Speaker 1 Well, that's a comment about your weight. Yeah.
Well, that's a nice comment. They could tell that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But like, he weighs like 30 pounds.

Speaker 1 That's insane. They asked me if I was like on anything else.
And I was like, no, I'm afraid of fentanyl. And like.
Right. I don't do Coke anymore often.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just something I did say this week to someone. But

Speaker 1 saying too much. Yeah.
Yeah. It was, it was bad.
They said I almost had a stroke and they took my

Speaker 1 flasher and it was like through the roof. Do you think drugs and alcohol is connected to it? Be honest.
Yes. Okay.

Speaker 1 And so how are we, what are we doing now, do we think?

Speaker 1 So now for a while, I'm going to take a break. No, this Wednesday.
He's ready for Vegas. This Wednesday.

Speaker 1 You're back on Wednesday from Vegas, right? You're coming back on Wednesday.

Speaker 1 I have my meeting at noon. Yeah.
You're going. You're going to go to the meeting.
I think it's the meeting is this. Sober.
Oh, wow. A meeting.
You're going, Dan.

Speaker 1 Wait, so you were just so hungover, you threw up at an airport? Savros, this guy spent

Speaker 1 what would be the entirety of this year on tour raging. Really? And I mean raging.
What's his job? What do you do on tour?

Speaker 1 That's a very good question. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Explain it to me. You're the one who was partying? Yeah, yeah.
These are the fucking guys bringing everyone in. He's sober.

Speaker 1 He's plugging in a couple microphones and then do fucking, then start doing fucking Jaeger shots.

Speaker 1 That's fucking awesome.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we need him around more

Speaker 1 because Savros is balancing out the cat. We pay this guy to come on the road.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 He's a producer on the show. Yeah, yeah.
How many producers?

Speaker 1 He's a vital entity, but Bobby said to me, this is it. It's over.
It's done. I didn't say that.
You said that first. What? Yeah, you were like, this is it.

Speaker 1 I can give you the text. I said, this has got to be the end.
Yeah. And then I said, yeah.
And you said, I'll take him to rehab. I mean, I'll take him to the meetings.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I said, well, I mean, it's only if you want. I mean, I can't force you to go.
No, no, I'm forcing you to go. You can't force.
Do you want to go?

Speaker 1 I was going to, this is like crazy to say, but I was literally going to like text you this week about this stuff. But then at the last second, I didn't.
You got to go.

Speaker 1 No, that was just, it was hard for me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what happens.

Speaker 1 That's what happens when an addict embarrasses himself. He's like, yeah, I actually was just about to fix this.

Speaker 1 Sorry, I missed, I got so fucked up. I missed work, which I don't even do that much at anyway.

Speaker 1 Once I drink,

Speaker 1 things happen. Yeah.
Like, it's hard for me to stop. Yeah.
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Speaker 1 What did you do with McCone? The week before? Yeah, what did you do? Your texts. I sent you those.
Do you just text me? No, I sent them to you a few weeks ago.

Speaker 1 Oh, I mean, I ran through the hotel naked. There's...

Speaker 1 Show them.

Speaker 1 Show him. Carlos blacked out and was just in the hotel just being a menace.

Speaker 1 Share a room at all these.

Speaker 1 So we make these two guys share a room. Right, right, right.
You have to.

Speaker 1 And uh Everybody else gets their own room except for these two guys and I will say this the beauty is the stories that come about from this thing

Speaker 1 Also by the way the boys know we're going to Vegas for our 200th episode Wow, and they're also sharing a room there. Of course.
Yeah, they don't have

Speaker 1 Let's play the video full screen it please

Speaker 1 Pause it. Hold on.
Hold on pause it set the clip up. Go ahead.
Yeah

Speaker 1 Wow, that's great

Speaker 1 Just screaming and muttering and then I was like all right I'm gonna go down. There's some still some people from the venue in the lobby locker for sure.
Yeah, that's baby Godzilla.

Speaker 1 Remember, I was like, Yeah, Godzilla right there. That's the guy who fucked your dad back, dude.
He looks like an old Japanese guy right here. I know.
Look at him. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But then I just saw footsteps quickly running down the hallway after me. So he's chasing you naked here.
Let's take a look. Wow.

Speaker 1 What the fuck?

Speaker 1 Giggling.

Speaker 1 I'm wearing his pocket.

Speaker 1 Go back to the room, dude. Go back to the room.
There he goes. Wow.

Speaker 1 What the fuck? I feel like a boring movie. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I would have liked to do it. God.

Speaker 1 See, this is. This means

Speaker 1 he was

Speaker 1 too sober to do this because he's covering his dick. But if he's truly drunk, he's going.
This is performative. That's a very good thing.
Whoa. You're a fucking detective, dude.
Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 Break this one down. And then break this one.
Salute here.

Speaker 1 Again,

Speaker 1 you have to go to bed. Go to

Speaker 1 He did. He hit it three times.
It didn't go off.

Speaker 1 That's all. You're going to literally get a fucking arrested.
Were you drunk, Tumacone? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Shit face. Both of these idiots.

Speaker 1 Are you still looking for a new producer, Stabber? Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'm good. Yeah.
I'm good. Do you ever fantasize about fear and loathing in Las Vegas? Like, when I watch that movie, I go,

Speaker 1 I get that kind of mayhem and lunacy. It's a fantasy mind.
Do you have that?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, go ahead. I'm sorry.
So you're just getting fucked up at all these tour stops, running around naked.

Speaker 1 Is there other ways you're embarrassing yourself? Are you trying to get pussy at this?

Speaker 1 Are you failing at that? You do a lot of things. Yeah, and I don't realize that they're crazy.
It's the reality.

Speaker 1 It's a surprise to me that it's crazy. Come on, man.

Speaker 1 Your hairline, those are revelations for a man with a full hairline.

Speaker 1 How fucking old are you?

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? That's a 20-year-old kid says that. You're fucking old as shit.
You look like shit. You can't be drunk as fuck and be like, I don't even know.

Speaker 1 It's bad to pull my dick out at work.

Speaker 1 And then, like, four drinks later, I'm nuts. Yeah, dude.
Yeah, dude. How many years have you been doing this?

Speaker 1 Well, I met him. When was the first time? I met him in AA.
They were sober together. What the fuck? Yeah.

Speaker 1 20 years ago, I was at a meeting. I saw him.
We became friends. So I met him.
20 years ago, you had quit drinking 20 years ago, and now you're like, I don't even know what it's like to be drunk.

Speaker 1 What the fuck are you talking about, dude? That's fucking ridiculous.

Speaker 1 But I want to be serious, real quick, for a second, okay?

Speaker 1 What you have to do is you have to look ahead in your life and go, if this lifestyle continues, inevitably it's going to end up here, right? And hopefully you can nip it before it gets there.

Speaker 1 Because what I'm seeing is a guy who's going to get there. I know.

Speaker 1 And when you get there,

Speaker 1 you might lose a lot. I know.
And

Speaker 1 you lose your health. You can lose a lot of things.
This is literally the only job you're qualified for.

Speaker 1 You are so fucked if these guys get tired of you. I know.

Speaker 1 Dude, you know what's crazy? He hit me and was like,

Speaker 1 I'm so sad I can't be there. I'm sorry.
And I was very supportive. I've called you.
I called you every day and I was like,

Speaker 1 hey, man, I just want you to get healthy. And he's like, No, I just as I should be there.
And then at some point, I'm like, Is this because you're not going to get paid because you're not coming?

Speaker 1 Is that what this is?

Speaker 1 Yeah, oh, really, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that is.
No, you don't get paid. No, he wants to get paid for the days he was off.
Hey, no, you don't get paid.

Speaker 1 You go to the hospital, you don't get paid, man. Yeah, I wasn't asking for money.
I was just sad I wasn't there with my bros. Hey, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And the shows went fine without you.

Speaker 1 Interesting. I think that, huh? Yeah.
It was easier without him.

Speaker 1 No problems and no one fucking diarrhea on the core bus. Wow.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 So Wednesday. I'll see you Wednesday.

Speaker 1 I'm happy that you're leveling out. I will say that.
I told you you said you feel better. I'm glad you feel better.
Yeah. We need to get you to a good place before anything bad happens.

Speaker 1 What about Vegas? You're not going to Vegas. Not allowed? No.
You should be in timeout. Yeah, you're in timeout.
He's not going? No. Okay.
Who's going? All of us but him. Okay.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But that's not, that's how life's got to be. We don't have a choice, man.

Speaker 1 Am I wrong?

Speaker 1 What the fuck are we going to do? You guys have been too lenient. I don't even know this motherfucker, and I know you've been too nice.
Yeah. See, this is fucking crazy.

Speaker 1 We need Stavros around for every episode. Yeah, yeah.
Because he knows that the balance. We're fucking up.
You and I. We're letting too much slide.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course you are.
He fine.

Speaker 1 He's so drunk. He misses her night.
And you guys are like, hey, man,

Speaker 1 this is getting kind of weird. You're on notice, pal.
What telstep was at four in the morning? I'm not.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God, this guy.

Speaker 1 Never mind. All right.
I take it back.

Speaker 1 We should take this to like Judge Joe Brown, one of those TV judge shows, to see if he should. Miss Pat.
Mitch Pat. Miss Pat's show.

Speaker 1 Dude, we should do this on Mits Pat Show.

Speaker 1 Dune Dune Dune.

Speaker 1 What's your case? Doon doon doon doon.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you will lose. It's like what Bobby said.
I'm here because of the history. Here, by the grace of Bob.
By the grace of Bob. By the grace of the Bob.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's nepotism at its finest. You want to to talk about nepotism in Hollywood? This guy.
Sticking around.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. But we love you.
I'm happy that you're getting healthy. Yes.
Thank you. Are you been working out? I mean, I'm eating well.
Okay, that's not the same thing. I'm eating sweet green.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Are you plugging sweet green right now? No, no, no. It's just healthy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're eating salads? Yeah. Okay.
I'm sorry. How did you, what is the history? Just quickly.
How did you guys meet? Well, he did stand-up. He used to do stand-up.
Okay, okay. So

Speaker 1 I met him in AA, and then I would see him at the comedy store. He hung out with the same group.
Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. And then

Speaker 1 he quit like a coward. Yep.
Coward. But they became a writer.
I would say his quitting was very successful. Yeah.
Yeah. But then he worked with Apatow, did some Apatau stuff.

Speaker 1 And then he's just around, you know. And then he got into the podcast, and now he's here.
But he's got, you know, that's how he has history. That's cute.
Okay.

Speaker 1 The history is, yeah, he was a part of the comedy community and we knew that. No, that's not that much, to be honest with you.
I thought he like saved your life. No.

Speaker 1 This is an acquaintance from 10 years ago. Yeah, he just gets to fucking, he gets away with all this bullshit.
This is crazy. Let's go back to the holidays.
Okay, Merry Christmas. But we love you.

Speaker 1 I do want to say that. I love you.
And I'm just, I want you to be good and feel good. Thank you.
Whatever that means, we need to get there. Okay.
I have a question for everybody.

Speaker 1 May I please? To change.

Speaker 1 Did you celebrate Christmas growing up, Stanfros? I did, of course. And was it the Greeks do that? The Greeks do it, yes.
I mean, do they have different kinds of like festivities that they do or no?

Speaker 1 no, pretty much. I mean, we don't really give that much of a fuck about Christmas.
New Year's is more.

Speaker 1 That's when they give presents in Greece, but we. But they give presents on New Year's.
In Greece, but we're here.

Speaker 1 But your mom didn't do that? They tried, and we were like, come on, what the fuck is this? Just give us the fucking present.

Speaker 1 See, I kind of agree with the Greeks on this one. I think all that bullshit from Christmas could go just at the end of the year, and it should be one big celebration.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because here was my thing about Christmas as a kid. Like, if anybody had a birthday in your family around it, that was always fucking weird and annoying.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that doesn't get solved if your birthday's on fucking December 31st. Yeah, but no, then you did all three things at once.
New Year's, your birthday, and Christmas.

Speaker 1 Sounds bad. You don't like it.
No, you got to space that. It's only because I don't believe in New Year's.
When people are like, we're going out for New Year's, it's a thing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 After you did it one time as a young kid. No, you need three.
No, you need three. You need three.
You need three.

Speaker 1 Because at New Year's, if you get all the one, you wish we just get socks.

Speaker 1 Some people do just get socks. I know if I'm just saying, if I get socks for my birthday, I can tell my parents, I go,

Speaker 1 for Christmas, this ain't happening. Well, this is privilege.
Some people only can get socks, buddy. But yeah, so yeah, to summarize, yes.
Yes, you did it.

Speaker 1 Everybody does. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know the actor Richard Kind? You know Richard Kind. Oh, I love him.
Of course.

Speaker 1 He's the man. I saw him at a Christmas party last night, and he comes up to me and I give him a big hug.
I love seeing him. And I said, Happy Hanukkah.
It's the second day or whatever.

Speaker 1 And he was like, oh, please, no, it's trash. And I was like, why? What's wrong with Hanukkah? He goes, oh, you want to compare? Do you want to compare? A man dies

Speaker 1 and everybody celebrates that moment for the rest of time as the beginning of time for the rest of time. You celebrate this man.
A man comes in your house. You get gifts and people and party.

Speaker 1 We were just counting the days left of oil. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a holiday. And I was like,

Speaker 1 yeah. He was like, that's fun.
No, thank you. Merry Christmas.
I was like, all right.

Speaker 1 I believe Greeks were the villains in the Hanukkah story. Really? I think it was Greeks versus some kind of the Maccabees or some shit.
The Maccabees? Is that a type of Jew? Is that a type of warrior?

Speaker 1 Sounds like a sitcom on the W. I swear to God.
The Maccabees. The Maccabees.

Speaker 1 Sheila's in trouble again.

Speaker 1 I think that's a style of ancient

Speaker 1 Jew. Really? I believe so.

Speaker 1 So, Hanukkah story is. Look this up,

Speaker 1 Your Little Only Job. Yeah.
Look this up. Maccabee Jew.
The name Maccabee was a title of honor given to Judas, the son of Matthias, and the hero of the Jewish Wars of Independence, 168-164.

Speaker 1 It's so funny when time went down. How fucking dope is that? It's throwing down.
They don't even know it.

Speaker 1 Later, that name Maccabees was extended to include his whole family, specifically Matthias' father, Judas' four brothers. Okay.
I think that's a type of Jew. The Maccabees.
A style of Jew. Wow.

Speaker 1 A vibe of Jews.

Speaker 1 But I do think they beat the Greeks, which I don't like. Did the Maccabees beat the Greeks? That's something we definitely need to know.
We need to figure that out.

Speaker 1 No, it said they said they had a bunch of rebellions. The history is with the rebellions of the Jews, according to that.

Speaker 1 The Maccabees destroyed Greek altars in the villages, forcibly circumcised boys, burnt villages, and drove Hellenized Jews off their land. So, dude, honestly.
Fuck the Maccabees. No, no, no.
I agree.

Speaker 1 I agree with random. I agree with random circumstances.

Speaker 1 No, no. You got to grab with someone that you see.
If they have a little fucking snout, you got to clip that. Nah, dude, fuck that.

Speaker 1 As an adult, you get circumcised. Does it hurt? Of course.

Speaker 1 Bobby, if I cut your penis right now, would it hurt? If I'm in like in a hospital, probably now they put anesthesia anesthesia afterwards. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Would it hurt if your penis got cut in any way, shape, or form?

Speaker 1 If they numbed it, no. When the numbing goes away, would it hurt? Yes, it would do, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so answer your own question.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right, you're right, you're right,

Speaker 1 what the fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's still gonna hurt that they clip your cock. That's why they do it when you're a kid, because you.
It doesn't hurt then?

Speaker 1 Well, that's how the trauma starts. They say that's where all the trauma goes.
Oh, I see, I see. It's fucked up to do that to babies.
It's crazy to cut a baby's dick.

Speaker 1 Leave that baby's dick alone. Leave the baby's dick alone.
That's what I'm saying. Fuck the Maccabees.
Go watch Fat Rascal right now on Netflix. Leave that baby dick alone, boy.

Speaker 1 Random circumcision in the streets is insane to grab people's kids and circumcise them. Wow.
Yeah. That's insane.
Yeah, it's pretty crazy. And by the way, you lost.
They were so good.

Speaker 1 They circumcised all the boys and still won. That's crazy good.
They were taking their, in the middle of a war, you're just taking a little break to cut a little boy's people off.

Speaker 1 You're showing off.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 But be gentle and delicate. And then he got arrows.

Speaker 1 And then Sandra Bullock Bullock shows up and puts it on her face.

Speaker 1 This is still good.

Speaker 1 It's still good.

Speaker 1 That's lunacy. I didn't know what the Maccapees, baby.

Speaker 1 You're teeth. No, we just learned.
Well, they fucked you guys up.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, they did, unfortunately. Give us a piece of Greek Christmas tradition or holiday.
A song. Maybe sing us a Greek song.

Speaker 1 What's a Greek tradition? A Greek tradition for during the

Speaker 1 holiday season. Is there some Greek shit that we need to know? Oh, I don't know.
And I want to apologize. My mom, you know, I wanted to bring you cookies.
Yeah. You know, I'm pissed off you didn't.

Speaker 1 My mom had her hip replaced, and she was

Speaker 1 with cookies. Did she get a new hip? Yeah.
Then give me some new fucking cookies.

Speaker 1 They're still.

Speaker 1 No, dude. The hip is still a little tender.

Speaker 1 I talked about the treats that you brought from your mother on this show for weeks. Yeah, I'm sorry.
I liked it so much. It's going to have to wait.
Wait, wait. I never saw cookies that day.

Speaker 1 Yes, you did. Yeah, you did, dude.

Speaker 1 You ate it in front of me.

Speaker 1 We ate them on the show. Oh, they were so good.
Yeah. They were really good.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know that we have any, like. You guys don't do

Speaker 1 anything specific? Not really. Not really.
There's nothing like, there's nothing super. What do the Koreans do? Do you guys do your parents? My parents didn't do shit.
Really?

Speaker 1 Celebrated. We got one tree when I was like six.
That tree stood in our living room for four years.

Speaker 1 It wasn't a plastic. It was one of those real trees.
So it died? So it died. So my mom would hang squid on it.
Squid. The dry.

Speaker 1 To dry. To dry.

Speaker 1 And socks. To drive.

Speaker 1 And then one day like I said, no, we'll never do again.

Speaker 1 We finally got it out and we never did it again. The origin story of squid game was born.
You wanted a sock? You got to get past the squid.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You owe us money, Netflix.
And then my parents would just give us cash. I told you that.
Yeah, that's the weirdest thing. His parents wouldn't give him gifts.
They would just hand him money.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. That's it.
And now we go get weed. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's the best. By the way, speaking of quick transition, I just saw, you have to look this up.
That girl that one squid game, you know, the woman?

Speaker 1 You know, they did like a real Squid Game? Yes, yes, yes. They haven't paid her a dime.
What? There's a whole article about it.

Speaker 1 This woman says they didn't give her all of the, any of the money that she, look at that. Squid game, the challenge winner says she hasn't received $4.56 million 10 months after she won.

Speaker 1 What the fuck? A calendar year almost. She hasn't received a dime.
That's crazy.

Speaker 1 By the way, $4.6 million, and they didn't give her shit. She's not getting shit.
Why? I think they're going to fight this somehow and say something.

Speaker 1 You can read in the article deeper about it, but she says

Speaker 1 she's fighting for them to give her her money on time. I'm sure they've worked out some sort of deal in the contract where it's like, we pay you over a certain amount of time.

Speaker 1 There's no way they hand you a check for four fucking million bucks. You go win on Wheel of Fortune or something like that.
It's not like that either.

Speaker 1 They have to take out taxes and fees and all this bullshit. They'll let you choose, you want to get sucked off by Van Dawai or you want the money? I'd rather have Pat.
All right, poo. Pat.
Is he dead?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Did he? I think he died.

Speaker 1 No, he died. Really? Yeah.
Google Pat Sajak and if he passed away. Sajack's in hell right now.

Speaker 1 I mean, after all the good god work he did on that show? 77 years. Oh, no, he's alive.
He's alive.

Speaker 1 I'm still sorry, man. Oh, you know what I'm doing?

Speaker 1 It's

Speaker 1 no, no. It's what? Not for long, not.
No, no, it's what's his name. I know.
We kill people on this show. Do you know that? Dude, we do it.
We've done it like 10 times. What the fuck?

Speaker 1 I'm thinking of what's his name, Jeopardy. That's my bad.
That's my bad. Pat Sajak.

Speaker 1 That's the guy we've just been talking about. Oh, fuck.
Bob Barker. Bob Barker.
Yeah, he's also dead. He's been dead as hell.
No, dude, Jeopardy is fucking. Trebeck.

Speaker 1 Trabeck. All right, P.

Speaker 1 Dude, if Pat Sajak dies now, I'm going to be so fucked and fucked up. I did that, didn't I? Yeah.
Let's talk about something we want to die. Yeah, exactly.
Oh, good, good, good. Good, good, good.

Speaker 1 Let's who do we want to die? Bobby's dad already.

Speaker 1 He said your dad, but he died. I'm like Jeffrey Dahmer's dad.
No.

Speaker 1 He died last week. Did he? Yeah.
Oh.

Speaker 1 All right, P. God bless.
God bless. Who was his dad like? He was a good father.
Good guy, yeah.

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Speaker 1 Air up. You guys, I hate water.
I mean, I drink it because you need your body needs it. Yeah, you have to have it.
Right? But it's like, it's like, you know, it's like breathing. I love breathing.

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Speaker 1 I mean, dude, he showed up by his son's side, went to every trial,

Speaker 1 and did all that. Dude, if my son, would you ever talk to him again? What? If your son ate a bunch of black people, would you like to visit him and stuff? Well, I'd want to know what they tasted like.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 for your recipe book. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But my point is that's insane. I would cut off all communication.

Speaker 1 Your son. I'd change my name and I would never, I'd pretend like I never knew that.

Speaker 1 If I would pretend like that person never, because then everyone always points at you. Remember how crazy the Columbine lady was, the mother who was like, she was Dylan's mom or one of the, which one?

Speaker 1 Sue Kleebold. Yeah, Sue Kleebold.
She was like... I don't remember her at all.
Oh, dude, it was such a crazy story. She was so adamant about like being the face and the representation of.

Speaker 1 of like her son's legacy and she tried diligently to be like this has this is not us it's not on us right it gotta be on you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Dude, it's the parent. It's always got to be on.
It's actually video games in Marilyn Mansion. Yeah, 100% right.

Speaker 1 You remember that when they were like, Marilyn Manson is forcing kids. And then he did

Speaker 1 some fucked-up shit. Yeah.
Being a kind of Weinstein-style guy. He did.
You know, yeah, yeah. Turned out.
Which is like one of the most.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, of course.
Oh, what were we thinking? A dungeon that he women in. Right.
I mean, he looks exactly like he was. That's who he is.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, I mean, there were signs like, you know, Jeffrey, you know, he had animal bones. Let's go back to

Speaker 1 Jeffrey. What's so funny? Big JD fan over here.
Really? It's so crazy. He had animal bones.
You know what I mean? And bringing carcasses back.

Speaker 1 What would you say to that? Your son. I'm your son.
Huh. And I have a bag.

Speaker 1 Oh, and you have a bunch of animal bones that you've got. Well, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I'm coming out of the forest. Bob, what's in the bag, little Bobby? Oh, my stepdad.
Hi, John.

Speaker 1 Hi, John. Hi, Dad.
Yeah, I'm just picking you up for the weekend. Yeah, yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 What's up? What's in the bag, bud? Oh, just toys. John and I want to know what's in the bag.
Show us what's in the bag. No, toys, my toys, Legos.
Show me right now. Hey, don't talk to him like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, nice. Thank you, John.
Ask him nicely. Let me tell you something, John.

Speaker 1 I let you fuck my wife. You're not going to fuck her.
That's how it started. That's how it's.
This is why I'm far.

Speaker 1 It started as a cuck situation. Then I dipped her down so good, she came over to me.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Look at her pair.

Speaker 1 Maybe if you fucking talked to him nice, he wouldn't be fucking gay. But now he's gay.

Speaker 1 You're gay? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
I'm gay. I'm gay.
I'm looking at my dick and licking his lips. I licked his lips.
I feel like he's gay. Dick.

Speaker 1 What? He didn't lick my lips. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Sounds like he licked your lips, John. Oh, he licked my lips.
I'm calling child protective services.

Speaker 1 Anyway, I'll see you guys later. All right.
We let him get away.

Speaker 1 The two dads fight.

Speaker 1 That's how we kept getting away with murdering people. The two dads were fighting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, go back outside, little Bob. What do you say? I would take, you know what? I would take you on, I would take you on a journey somewhere, and I would leave you somewhere.

Speaker 1 I would take you to the woods and

Speaker 1 but no, you're right, Bob. The second he starts fucking killing like animals, yeah, that's the key.
Let's figure this out. Let's figure that out.
Yeah, you go to therapy.

Speaker 1 They say the animal thing is the original thing that gets people

Speaker 1 because they want to do something to humans, but they don't have the balls. Yeah.
So they do it to an animal thinking. If I can get away with this.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like that documentary, Don't Fuck With Cats. When that's so funny.
I know, Luca Mala. Luca.
I don't remember. That's his name.

Speaker 1 When he was the videos they showed in the documentary where he's torturing people.

Speaker 1 I can't watch it. It's fucking wild.
It's fucking wild, then. Yeah.
It's loopy that he recorded it. It's weird when all these people record their crimes.

Speaker 1 That's got to be the weirdest part of all of it. They just turn on the video camera.
That's the guy, right? Yeah, Luca Mukuk. I don't want to watch it.
What's his last name? Malaka or Luca

Speaker 1 Magliata?

Speaker 1 Magnata. Magnata.
Luca Muk Milia. He's dead, right? No, he's in prison.
Really? Yeah, yeah. They even killed that guy by that? Like, I saw Derek Chauvin got stabbed again.
I know. On Black Friday.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's such a good day to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, if you're going to do it. Yeah, absolutely.
But does he get hurt?

Speaker 1 What happens

Speaker 1 to him on Cyber Monday is the real question.

Speaker 1 Somebody beats him to death with a keyboard. Keyboard, yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, how does that happen? iPhone shoved up Derek Chauvin's ass on Cyber Monday. He's at lunch and he gets.
How does that happen?

Speaker 1 Well, I haven't been to prison, but I imagine they coordinate the fuck out of him. Maybe some bedtime stories.
Which I write money.

Speaker 1 They usually stab them when they're in when they're in gender gen population

Speaker 1 yeah if they're somewhere where there's others like eating lunch or out at the yard that's usually when they get but also i watch stabbing opportunities well i've watched these prison shows enough they do a lot of like when they're just in a common area right depending on their level of uh being in trouble i watched one of these max security prison ones they all it's in an octagon and they sit in the middle around tables and they're allowed to chill until they tell them you know back in the cell they hit the buzzer and then they go back in so there's just a community chill time

Speaker 1 playing chill chills. And that's stabbed opportunity because their cells are open.
So they can go get shit, go bring them in.

Speaker 1 And also, that's where I see them force people into the cell to check them down. Like you watch paperwork.
Yeah, you check their pet, right? Check their paper.

Speaker 1 I'm sure if they're a child molester or not. So when they found out about Chavin, you know, every opportunity they couldn't wait to get.
Why is he even?

Speaker 1 If I was him, I would just be in my cell the whole time.

Speaker 1 I'd do post to mates, my meals.

Speaker 1 I would have called, I would have called Hillary Clinton to take me out. Yeah.
Oh, wow. Well, she took out Epstein.
I I mean, fuck him up. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I would have called her and been like, hill dog, you got to get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got to snap me one, bro.

Speaker 1 Can the cameras turn off? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, but if you got to think, if you're Derek Chauvin, whatever the fuck his name is,

Speaker 1 you got to immediately just become a white supremacist in jail. 100%.
He's like, those guys are going to support you. Yep.
You're like a hero. Yep.
You got to shave the head, get the swastika.

Speaker 1 That's immediately.

Speaker 1 I would get it before I went in. 100%.
Right on my face, the swastika right on my face. You have to just be like, all right, well.
You got to to do it, dude.

Speaker 1 I lost. I guess I got to stop pretending I wasn't racist.

Speaker 1 You got me. I'll put the swastika on my head, and I'm going to fucking jail.
Imagine Derek Chauvin going shopping before he goes away.

Speaker 1 He's like, I got to get it. He's on eBay looking for SSU.

Speaker 1 He's like,

Speaker 1 let me get some cool vintage knots and stuff.

Speaker 1 If I went to prison, there was no Asian gang, which gang do you think I should join? There is an Asian gang. But what if there wasn't? Latino.
I show up. I thought it was my first day.
Latino.

Speaker 1 mexican you think mexican because some of our fans mistake you for mexican oh then i've had a bunch of people be like bobby you're not mexican at all really you're some mexican wait because i i look like chich marin you two kind of yeah yeah yeah i think so that's weird i think so mexican i go you'd 100 you can't go with the white where would you go where would i go not white because you're not a white supremacist they there's no way in prison i am

Speaker 1 what the fuck are you talking about there's oh you're telling me the whites only have white supremacy group yeah what

Speaker 1 another group like a Christian group? Like a Christian gang? No. Do you think there's like a fucking kumbaya clique in prison? Yeah.
No, there'd be a clique that's like not the violence.

Speaker 1 You're either with the black gang, with the fucking white supremacists, or you're with the Mexicans. So he's white supremacist too? No.
What is he? No, he's black. No, he's black.
Oh, he's black.

Speaker 1 As they say in the culture, he's invited to the cookout. Invited to the cookout.
Ah.

Speaker 1 And I am on the outside, but on the inside, you got to go with white supremacists. And I go with the Mexicans.
Because of how pale I am. They're going to get me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I would get fucking the tattoos tattoos on my eyeballs. Yeah.
Oh, wow. What would they say?

Speaker 1 What would it say in your eyeballs? No, it's all one color. What? Yes.
What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 They get tattoos on their eyeballs and turn it to a specific color. What? Really?

Speaker 1 Eyeball tattoos. Oh, shit.
Fuck, they look like demons, bro.

Speaker 1 You know how much that hurts? Yeah. Well, it's on your fucking eyeball.
Yeah, yeah. I imagine.
Imagined it. Taking out a contact irritates people.

Speaker 1 Dude, that's loopy. They turn through their fucking

Speaker 1 eyeballs. So the whites of their eyes, they changed a different color.
Yeah. And I would main yellow, and I would look like I have jaundice.
Is that a baby? They didn't do it to a baby.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a fat Filipino.

Speaker 1 Wow. Look at that.
That's a baby. Look at that.
That sucks. It's so crazy.
Lunacy. But the ones in the

Speaker 1 MS-13, some of them go blind because they do it wrong. That the thing gets infected.
Oh, gang members accidentally

Speaker 1 having themselves prison eyeball dead.

Speaker 1 That goes wrong sometimes. Hey, dog.
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, did you sanitize?

Speaker 1 I don't want an infection player.

Speaker 1 God damn. Yeah.
Aryan Brotherhood, the white, yeah, the Aryan Brotherhood, the Nazi lowriders. Oh, I could be a part of the Nazi lowriders.
Give me someone. Give me some.
So the Nazi lowriders.

Speaker 1 Even Nazis do cultural appropriation. Yeah.
Stealing lowriding for fucking easy. They're Nazis.
Nazi lowriders. The public enemy number one is a white street gang.
Dirty white boys.

Speaker 1 Oh, there's a lot for me to choose from. Yeah, dirty white boys.
I don't know if I'm a DWP. Yeah, I think you are, dude.
What else? European Kindred. Too much.
Too much narrative there.

Speaker 1 Aryan Circle, which is kind of tight if you've seen some of their stuff.

Speaker 1 Ooh, DMI, The Dead Man Incorporated. That sounds good.
I like that because it says predominantly white, so there's maybe a little bit of a. Yeah, see, that's the one I want to say.
Very inclusive.

Speaker 1 It's inclusive. Oh, in Baltimore.

Speaker 1 That's yours. I think if I had to choose.
Now, look, I would like to say that I could not have to join a white supremacist gang. You would.

Speaker 1 But it would be nice to be able to do one that mixes it up a little bit. I would like the Simon City Royals.
That That would be me. Predominantly White Street Prison Gang established in Chicago.

Speaker 1 So that's mine. I'm a Simon City Royal.
You're part of the Dead Man Incorporated. Let's not claim that.
I don't want these guys kind of

Speaker 1 comments.

Speaker 1 We're just saying.

Speaker 1 Yeah. If we want, if

Speaker 1 we want to, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 I've just realized what we've done. Yeah, we can't be like, yeah, we're actually in a gang.
No, no, we're not. We're not doing anything for it.
No. Okay.
So, and Bobby, where's the Asian gang?

Speaker 1 Can I just say something? I'm not even listed. When you guys go and join that white supremacy group, you can change it from the inside.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Right? If somebody says the N-word, you go, I'm African-American, please. You think there's a board? What? You think there's a board and they have meetings?

Speaker 1 Yeah, and you can just slowly through time change the... Well, here, you could be the Asian boys.
Fuck yeah. Also known as the ABZs of the AB26 or AB 66.
ABZ Crips. That's fucking.

Speaker 1 But that's here in Southern California. Long.
Wow. Founded in the 1980s to protect Cambodian refugees.
Cambodians. They're the most violent gangs in the world.
Yeah, they're crazy. Cambodians?

Speaker 1 Cambodia is crazy. I mean, they got their shit fucked up.
Yeah. Henry Kissinger in hell right now.
He's sucking on Hitler's dick as we. Did we wish that one? Did we fuck off Kissinger on that?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. We did that, huh? Yeah.
I mean, that piece of shit. That's like just proof that they're

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 like God or anything good. It's like he's a war criminal that lived to 100 and everybody just was like, everyone was like, yeah, he just gets, it was fat as shit.
Looked like shit. Yeah.
Pole pot.

Speaker 1 Pol Pot. Pol Pot.
They let him live in a village. Yeah.
He had a bunch of wives, had kids. He just died out his days.
Yeah. Yeah.
He died chilling. There's no karma.

Speaker 1 Every slave owner died an awesome life. Yeah.
They just got, they died like in a fucking, in a, in a, in a rocking chair.

Speaker 1 In a breathable fabric in a rocking chair, having a mint julep. Yeah.
There's no karma. Well, I say goodbye to my land.

Speaker 1 Yeah. This could be you, the tiny rascal gang.
That's it. I feel good.
We're simply just the rascals, predominantly ethnically Cambodian gang based in Long Beach, California. Yeah, dude.
Cambodia.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's where I'm going to join.

Speaker 1 We should close this by saying we respect all of these gangs, everyone in it, and

Speaker 1 we want no trouble. No trouble.

Speaker 1 We are just talking on a show here. That's right.
Fuck 12. The cops are.
Hey, fuck 12. Fuck 12 for sure.

Speaker 1 Stab shoving again. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Stab him again, baby. Let's make that motherfucker look like a pincushion.

Speaker 1 Do you guys believe there's no karma? MLK Day's coming up. You did Black Friday, now let's do MLK Day.
Let's go, baby. He's back.
Stab him for MLK Day.

Speaker 1 Do you believe in karma? I don't think it's real.

Speaker 1 I think portionally karma has its things. I think it doles itself out in different ways.
Like in what way? No, if you're pole pot, you kill three and a half justice worlds. You die your later ADAs

Speaker 1 with pussy. Yep.
Yeah. And then what? Where's the karma? He stubs his toe real hard one time.

Speaker 1 I see.

Speaker 1 I see.

Speaker 1 No, I don't think there's like a, there is no such thing as like an eye for an eye.

Speaker 1 It's like that doesn't do anything. So what does karma mean in that world?

Speaker 1 Well, there's karmatic, people believe in universal justice as if the universe is going to give you back what you did to it, good or bad.

Speaker 1 Potentially, maybe in another life.

Speaker 1 Maybe. Here, the sum of person's actions in this and previous states of existence viewed as deciding their fate in future existences.

Speaker 1 Now, this is the part that I get hippy-dippy on because I do believe we've done a thousand lives. I think you've lived a thousand lives.

Speaker 1 I do think maybe your manifestation in this life is perhaps an amalgamation of what you did before. Doesn't mean if you were bad now, you're bad then, you're good now.

Speaker 1 I just think all of these things collect together to make this thing, and it'll happen again and again and again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like if Israel Pol Pod is, you know, a guy getting fucked in the ass in prison right now. Yeah.
You know what I mean? Like, that's like, maybe it's almost like

Speaker 1 your Delta status. It's like, it's like the year before, how many flights you took.
It's like, oh, I'm platinum.

Speaker 1 I was a really good guy. I'm a platinum person.
And then they change their policy and they're like, sorry, you're gold again. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What if karma works where it's like the reward is you get to be evil one time? Like, what if you had a really awesome life? You did nothing but like charity.

Speaker 1 And then it's like, all right, now you get to be fucking pull pot.

Speaker 1 You die. Kill whoever you want.

Speaker 1 So his evil is actually

Speaker 1 a reward for being good. He worked in a soup kitchen for three lives in a row or something.
Wow. He was like a monk for three lives.
And he was like, all right.

Speaker 1 Sweeping shit in the streets of London, you know, and you had to pick it up with his hands. Yep, yep, yep.
Exactly. I heard about this.
This is the thing I heard about this, that New York

Speaker 1 elevated, you know, like elevated brownstones was because of all the fucking horse shit everywhere. And they didn't want to build houses at ground level for weather reasons, right? And also

Speaker 1 for all the fucking shit in the streets. They had to get their shit off their body and shoes because they walked through tons of shit.

Speaker 1 The horses shit all over the place.

Speaker 1 That makes sense. Yeah.
And you go to New York now and there's no more horses shitting all over the place, but it still smells like it's. Now there's human shit.
Yeah, human shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's unbelievable.
Yeah. I heard San Francisco's bad.
You know, listen. I haven't been there, but I feel like people have been saying this for so long now.
They're like, oh, it's really bad.

Speaker 1 We went up there. We were up in the the bay.
Who? I had a good time. I was up there doing shows.
You went up. We were up there.
Weren't we in the bay together? No, we never did the bay. Oh, we didn't.

Speaker 1 Oh, we skipped it. I went up there by myself.
I had a fight. It's fine.
I don't, it doesn't feel like people, people sound like it's

Speaker 1 like the, you know, like the apocalyptic, like,

Speaker 1 it's like,

Speaker 1 there's homeless people there. So, same here.
Here, yeah, yeah. It's the same chaos.
I didn't feel like it was as wild as people made it out to be.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was bad, but it's not like, yeah, it's not like fucking people. It's bad here.
Yeah. Or when we live in the shit, so I'm right.

Speaker 1 Right-wing people people go look how bad la is and they should take take a photo of like the mission in the mission right right and they're like this is la it's like bitch that's not beverly hills i mean there's this area huge studio city i mean although they did light our freeway on fire which is impressive do you not know this no they shut down the 10 freeway because a dude a woman lit it on fire oh i saw a dead guy yesterday oh give it up let's give it up you guys two days ago two dudes i saw me and gene saw a dead guy where on western what did you do anything no we drove by oh okay we caught traffic are you sure he's are you sure he's dead he was dead, dead.

Speaker 1 How do you know? Because the paramedics and all that, and they just left him there. No one touched him.
No, good. And he was just...
There you go.

Speaker 1 Paramedics were there? Yeah. Oh, okay, okay.
I saw you. Wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, stop, stop, stop.

Speaker 1 I thought you said. No, no, sorry.
I'm sorry. Uh-oh.
What's up, man? Oh, no. What happened? No, dude,

Speaker 1 he wants to fight you now. Are you questioning my story?

Speaker 1 I was wondering.

Speaker 1 What's up, bro? What's good?

Speaker 1 Shit, this is a member of the tiny Asian boy game.

Speaker 1 Am I being checked checked by a Cambodian right now?

Speaker 1 What's the meaning of this, friend?

Speaker 1 Just a follow-up question. Yeah.
Yep. I take rescinded.
No, no, rescinded. Fight for your right.
Fight for your right to suck. I don't care that much, honestly.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I was just kind of asking him, follow-up.

Speaker 1 How fucking dead was this guy? Was his head cut off? No, we just drove by. We just, I mean, Eugene and I were like, I think he's dead.
And because no one touched him, I think people were like weeping.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, it was a whole thing. I was walking home from a show in Hollywood Boulevard.
I just, this just reminded me so wild.

Speaker 1 I was walking west on Hollywood and a woman came kind of like quickly up to me and was like, hey, can you come help me? And I was like, what? You know, like

Speaker 1 any city, if you live in a city, when someone's like, can you help me? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I just had to let one fly. So good.
When you live in a city, when someone goes, can I help? You always go. Maybe.
Yeah. What is it? Yeah.
And she's like, this man, this man, something's wrong.

Speaker 1 And there's an apartment complex right there. And there's a little like inlet where the gate would be to go to the garage.
You know what I'm talking about when you go out there?

Speaker 1 And she's like, please come, come. And I go over there and she looks like well-to-do.
So I was like, what is this? She doesn't, she must not know this guy.

Speaker 1 And this dude was clearly overdosing or something of that. I mean, dude, he, it was real bad.
Damn. He was whiter than me.
And he was just like, oh, and I could tell he was like choked up.

Speaker 1 And he was like

Speaker 1 super out of it. And he was ODing.
So of course I'm like. Put him out of his misery.
Yeah. I kicked him in the neck.
I can't stop him.

Speaker 1 I mean, what are you going to do, dude?

Speaker 1 You're running late. What do you got to do? Dude, I immediately, I was like, did you call the cops? And she was like, no.
I'm like, what the fuck are you waiting for?

Speaker 1 call the fucking call the ambulance and she's like okay okay she was panicked and i was like do you know this man she's like no i live here and i saw him wow i was like get out get out of here i'll do it and i called you called yes and you stayed no yeah oh dude i had a thing to go through

Speaker 1 oh i see no i know we did i stayed there until a crowd formed and then i got the game showing the roku channel he couldn't stay yeah i had a tubi pitch later that day

Speaker 1 no i know why until a crowd started to form around people were all like standing there you know doing that you know that's what's funny about when something's bad and then everyone crowds around who will do nothing to help.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But they just want to stare at them.
So a crowd gathered, and I literally started to walk home. I was like, fuck this.
I mean, the cops. But once the crowd gathers, what am I going to do? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Also, the cops are going to come or they're not going to come. And in L.A., they're not going to come.
They're not going to come. Yeah.
I've been, I've been, my car's been broken into.

Speaker 1 My wife's been robbed, like, pushed down to the ground, robbed. The cops have never come once.

Speaker 1 Not even come.

Speaker 1 I've called the cop. I hit a guy with my car.

Speaker 1 I told that story on this show. I hit a man with my fucking vehicle.
Cops never came. Wow, wow, wow.
I waited there for two hours. Two hours.
Cops never came. Wow, wow, wow.
The guy left, by the way.

Speaker 1 The guy I hit with my car. I was like, ah, fucking.
No, he was. I told the story.
It was wild, though. He was, he, they were fucked up.
Like, I tell they were on some shit.

Speaker 1 He had a backpack, and his boy was like, let's go. And I'm like, dude, give me your information.
And he's like, he's like, get the fuck out of here, man. Leave me alone.
And I'm like, bro, if you...

Speaker 1 If something happens, what if you have a brain bleed? You die. I'm fucked.
Right. Because you're gone and it's as if I left the scene.

Speaker 1 I stayed there, stayed there, stayed there cops never came i called multiple times wow we already said a unit is on its way sir that's what they said that's awesome dude la the cops aren't coming they're not coming don't call them they're not coming you know where they are the grove they're at the grove right last night they're at the mall six of them they're nice guys and they talked to me i talked to them yeah i had my coffee with them we're talking about yeah but i'm like why so many cops he's like well you know apple store yeah they'll rob people robbing the apple store yeah yeah yeah i bet i guess that's happening now that like people just oh the mob mob robbing yeah groups of people are coming and just carrying shit out been going on dude smash and grab smash and grab

Speaker 1 in la i think it hits the news every fucking day it's go to go to the news go to the news there's we still have community in this in this country yeah this is nice they're at least they like gathering

Speaker 1 that's also like community even when people like watch like an old like some guy passed out people milling around as useless as it is it's like such a human thing to like be near us just to be like like in the village if some fucking like you know what i mean if somebody like fell down if somebody got kicked in the head by a donkey yeah people would just mill around.

Speaker 1 That would be what they do all day. Well, imagine, dude.
That's awesome.

Speaker 1 You have him just coming in here like he's the tennis ballboy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Giving you a fresh vape.

Speaker 1 By the way, mind you, he's at three vapes on his desk.

Speaker 1 I want a different flavor. It's unbelievable.
Anyway, yeah. No, but think about what you're saying is true in a very creepy way.

Speaker 1 People would make an event out of going to like a public hanging or some shit.

Speaker 1 And that was like a night out. Yeah.
Like when you wait, you'd hit everybody. That was their Netflix.
Yeah. Yeah.
And you go? And when they hung someone, it went,

Speaker 1 the Netflix got that sound.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude, you would get dressed up for this. This was like a thing to go to do.
People would wear their Sundays best to go to these fucking things. It's insane.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then your friend gets...

Speaker 1 If I went, if I was getting hung. Oh, I'm bringing popcorn.
I know. I'm selling it.
Popcorn here. Execution of a Korean popcorn here.
If I'm there, right, and I'm looking at you and you're just.

Speaker 1 I'm smiling. Oh, my God.
You would infuriate me. First of all,

Speaker 1 knowing Bobby and how fucking self-involved he is. If I was looking away for one second, he'd be like, hey, watch me get hung.

Speaker 1 Watch me.

Speaker 1 You would be so mad if I.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I'm looking. I'm tying my shoe.
He's like, watch me get fucking hung. Yeah, yeah.
Not a good friend.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, what if people weren't crying?

Speaker 1 Just, just,

Speaker 1 dude, I imagine a lot of people didn't cry. I can imagine.
Okay, who would not cry?

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 Bert. Bert would laugh.
He would laugh. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm hung. Give me Tom Shiguro.

Speaker 1 He'd pretend to cry. He would never show up.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, he wouldn't.
He's got shit going on. He wouldn't be there.
All right, who else? Theo.

Speaker 1 Theo would be there, but he would leave early.

Speaker 1 But he'd watch you get hung, and the second you're dead, he's out. I gotta go.
Yeah, you gotta go. That shit is wild.

Speaker 1 Whitney.

Speaker 1 Whitney would bring a bunch of dogs

Speaker 1 to watch the dog. Oh, reverse.
The dogs eat you. Whoa.

Speaker 1 Karma. Karma.

Speaker 1 Karma. Karma.
Karma, dude. Karma.
Wow. That's funny, dude.

Speaker 1 Who else would be there?

Speaker 1 Who else?

Speaker 1 He would come to your party.

Speaker 1 You knew who would he would get too self-involved?

Speaker 1 Rick Glassman.

Speaker 1 At his own hanging? Not my hanging. Oh, at yours.
Yeah, he'd be in the back, like, talking to people. He'd be doing a bit.
Oh, you think so? Yeah. Yeah.
He'd be doing a bit the entire time.

Speaker 1 Oh, I would think that he would be like, you know what I mean? So what happens to the body afterwards? And trying to figure out the logistics of everything. I'll tell you what, I think Rick would try.

Speaker 1 Rick would somehow finagle his way into convincing them to do it later.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? He'd be like, Listen, listen, this doesn't work for me like the light and the warmth.

Speaker 1 He would make them hang you later in the day. Oh, that's good.
That's a friend. No, he's very smart.
Yeah, very smart. And Adam Ray would dress up like one of the executioners

Speaker 1 in character

Speaker 1 and accidentally have to execute. No, he would do his Dr.
Phil. Yeah.
He would do his Dr. Phil.
I'm going to hang Yunkai.

Speaker 1 Yeah. A lot of people at the execution.
Wow. You think there would be a lot of mine? Oh, yeah.
You'd have them probably the most. No, I don't think you, I think both of you would have good numbers.

Speaker 1 No, you'd. No, you'd have to.
I think you would sell out too. No, no.
You wouldn't. You and I wouldn't sell out an execution.
You'd sell out an execution. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Imagine going to Ticketmaster to an execution and being like... It'd be funny to watch you flail around your little body.

Speaker 1 Oh, you think so? I think so. You think I'd have

Speaker 1 residual assuming? You would die funny. You'd pull your dick out.
You think I would die funny? You would. I think you'd pull your dick out at the end.
Yeah. All right.
For what God's sake.

Speaker 1 He's hanging. He's like, you get a pube shot.

Speaker 1 You know what would actually be a serious power move? Yeah. Start jacking off while you're getting up.

Speaker 1 You're like, it's not an erotic fixation. You're like, oh, fuck you.
Now you're okay.

Speaker 1 Now you're okay. This feels awesome.

Speaker 1 And then you fucking bust the sweetest butt of all time because it's going to feel sick.

Speaker 1 And then you die. That's actually how you do it.
You're chanting. Now you all are gay.
You're gay. You're fucking off.

Speaker 1 Fuck you.

Speaker 1 i would purposely

Speaker 1 i would purposely do a funny face yeah yes right so i'm hung overdo it

Speaker 1 right so i want to get a laugh you know me i would be yeah yeah yeah and the classic tongue out like yeah i'm babba

Speaker 1 or you know what would also be really good paint two x's on your eyelids ahead of time that's

Speaker 1 a funny game that's a funny cartoon

Speaker 1 that's a funny bet yeah oh you know what you do yeah that's what you make it so that you the moment you get hung your pants fall down

Speaker 1 That's what I mean. You got a lot of great ideas.
You rig it so your pants fall down. And you know what you're doing? You're trying to do the slide whistle in the crowd.

Speaker 1 Dude, how about when you get hung, your pants fall down, and you're tucking? You're doing the mangina.

Speaker 1 I'd have enemies there too, though, I think. No, you wouldn't.
I would. I've got a couple enemies.
You have no enemies.

Speaker 1 There's a guy named Yoshi.

Speaker 1 He hates me. Who's this fucking? He just hates me.
And

Speaker 1 you know Yoshi, right? He hates me. He wants me dead.
Okay.

Speaker 1 What did you do to him? I fucked up.

Speaker 1 So it is your fault. Totally my fault.

Speaker 1 I fucked up dad. I fucked up.
Okay, that's true. So he'd be there.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 Who else? I can't say his name out loud.

Speaker 1 Luigi, too?

Speaker 1 Would be there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Mario Luigi. He was doing a Yoshi joke.

Speaker 1 I do think a lot of times we should actually remove the microphone from up there. I think about,

Speaker 1 like, as good as we're doing, is we're humming along. Why let it go? You shouldn't.
I tried to let that joke go. Step up.
I just went through it. Yeah.
Yep.

Speaker 1 And it just sort of gave me a really bad vibe right now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 God, you fucked it up, dude. Mario and Luigi there, too.

Speaker 1 Carlos, what did I send you? Did I send you something yesterday? Yeah, you sent me a bunch of stuff. You have to.
I'm going to make amends to Yoshi if I could now. Please do, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, this is not that. That's funny.

Speaker 1 We can show them that. Oh, this is great, though.
Can I make amends real quick? Please, I would love for you to hear why you make amends. Okay, so

Speaker 1 this is why Yoshi hates me. A long time ago, I was on a friend of ours podcast, and he goes, he compared me to Yoshi.

Speaker 1 Sorry? He compared this. My friend compared to the real guy, Yoshi.
Do real guy, Yoshi, a comic, like we're at the same level or something. So I defended myself.
I'm much funnier than him.

Speaker 1 He's not even a real. You know what I mean? I said something like that, right? You know exactly what you said.
I know what I said, right?

Speaker 1 And then his brother found out, and I was like, I didn't even mean to say that. I just said it out of defense or whatever.

Speaker 1 Also, to your credit, they just picked a different Asian guy. Right.

Speaker 1 Like if they just picked the fattest comic thing you and they're like, yeah, you stop. You're like him, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so like John Penett.

Speaker 1 So I found out he was really hurt by it and I didn't even mean it. So I'm just sorry, dude.
But he, every time I see him, he just literally just stares at me like he's going to kill me.

Speaker 1 I don't, I've never, I don't know this guy. Do I know who this is? I feel like he's a, he's.

Speaker 1 His friends are Brody. He was friends with with Brody.
Yeah. Anyway,

Speaker 1 thanks, Carlos. Thanks, Carlos.

Speaker 1 It's like bringing up one of our dead friends.

Speaker 1 What's Shaquille doing? The guy brings. Hold on.
That's the kind of behavior you guys got to listen.

Speaker 1 Now that you're bringing this to the table, now that you're sober, I assume you'd throw something fun out.

Speaker 1 You bring up our dead friend? Well, that's how I knew Yoshi was he podcasts with Brody.

Speaker 1 It breaks my fucking heart. Well, I almost died and I'm here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you're here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like fucking didn't work, you know?

Speaker 1 All right, let's see what it says, what he says. Keel O'Neal has been to every zoo in the world, and they all have one thing in common.
Every true story. Yes.

Speaker 1 I promise you, I don't went to every zoo in the world. I don't went to every zoo in the world.
I've not been to every zoo in the world. I've been to every zoo in the world.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And every time I go to the gorilla section, they look at me like, hey, man, who are your fur at?

Speaker 1 No, for real. For real.
That's how they look at me. And then they also look at me like, hey, what am I doing here and you out there? And they always

Speaker 1 say that. That's awesome.

Speaker 1 Shaq posted this clip.

Speaker 1 Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, looking to have a chance.
So

Speaker 1 it's nice and quiet.

Speaker 1 He's here.

Speaker 1 Since Shaq felt his co-hosts didn't believe his story, he called the director of the Miami Zoo personally to validate his claims.

Speaker 1 No, but you don't believe me, so I want to call my guy from the zoo. This is Ron McGill, the director of the Miami Zoo.
Tell him what happens when I walk by the gorilla exhibit.

Speaker 1 He gets intimidated and he looks at Shaq and thinks that Shaq's going to take away his girls. He knows his boss.

Speaker 1 Also shared a similar story while on the Impulsive podcast. I'll go to him and like I'll mess with them and like they all come to the glass and they all do this.

Speaker 1 That's right. Every zoo in the world.
Like they just go crazy. They just go through Glass and go.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's insane. It's insane.
It's insane that he keeps telling this story. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm like, why are you retelling this story? It's fun. It is insane, though.
It's fun.

Speaker 1 It's one of those things where it's like,

Speaker 1 it would make a racist person really happy to be. That's what I'm saying, though.

Speaker 1 He's baiting racists. Yeah.
He's like baiting people to be like, see? How much a great person enjoys that story is a good barometer of how racist is. 100%.
If they're smiling way, if they're like, ah,

Speaker 1 yes.

Speaker 1 If you like smile, like, oh, that's pretty funny. Yeah.
Then you're good. I can see this as a bit on Gutfeld on Fox.
Absolutely. Them being like, told you so.
Welcome back to Told You So

Speaker 1 on this section of Told You So. I love that.
Shaq goes to every zoo. This is why I like Shaq, though.

Speaker 1 The guy knows how to fucking take the piss out of himself better than anybody from the like the athlete world. Yeah.
He like most athletes are too cool for like Deion Sanders. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He won't get any dirt on his shoes. You know, he's like, nah, fuck that.
I'm shit.

Speaker 1 You might get into his wound and affect his foot even further.

Speaker 1 I think we can get him on here.

Speaker 1 Shaq? Yeah. I would kill to have Shaq on here.
Because he's done Bobby Altoff. Yeah.
He's done now Impulsive. Yeah.
I think he could do us. I mean, you mean you think we could get him?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think we, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did I just say? I think he could do us.
I think we could do that.

Speaker 1 Why did I say that way? Let's end this the way that we should, really should end it, by giving Stavros the platform to say whatever he wants at the end to wrap this whole thing up. Oh, well, go ahead.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 I just want to say, everyone, please watch Fat Rascal on Netflix. Please buy a calendar.
If you're a sexy black guy, hit up Bobby.

Speaker 1 He's trying to get in there. He's trying to dip his toe.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 If you're like a Tyree-style black guy, loves it. You know? He loves that shit.
Hit up Bobby, get in his DMs. Take him out for, I don't know,

Speaker 1 dancing. Take him out dancing.
And then you guys can kiss in your, maybe like a Mercedes.

Speaker 1 you gotta be a classy guy.

Speaker 1 How's that sound, Bob? Good.

Speaker 1 Thank you for being a bad friend.