Monkey Farts & Asian Fetish

You two are bad friends.

Who are these two idiots?

A white dude and an Asian dude.

You two are disgusting.

You two are something.

We're bad friends.

We're Whitney coming.

Welcome, welcome.

And listen, last night, Andrew was on fire. We did Adam Ray's show.
Yeah. He was on, he was so quick.
It was like, oh, I want to tell that. But he beat me to it.
We had a couple of good jokes. No, you did.
Adam Ray did it. He flow was quick.
Andrew. Dr.
Phil. Oh my God, dude.
He's already starting with you right now. You know what, dude? He is.
He's quicker than me. I'm slow, dude.
No, you're not. Slow burn, dude.
Just start and shit. I'm speeding it up.
And I will... You know what, dude? One day, dude, I'm going to be the champ of speeding it up.
Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. You'll see.
Let's introduce our guest. Not yet.
No, please don't. Not yet.
Let's let him sit for another minute. Yeah, yeah.
because he's been bothering me. Our guest? No, just he in general.
What's been going on? Well, over the years, I've been seeing him around, right? And I feel like he gets offended easily and stuff. And he's just like, come on, Bob, and this and that.
But I love him as a performer. I really do.
I think he's just so interesting. What a vibe.
You want to introduce him or you just want to leave it hanging like that? Do you want to... Taylor, Taylor Williamson.
You do not know his name? I do. I just said it.
I got so nervous. Taylor Williamson.
Yeah, we couldn't get Taylor Tomlinson, but we got Taylor Williamson on the show. I said to get Tomlinson.
Yeah, you said that is the wrong one.

Yeah, yeah.

It's a little too soon for that one.

Is it too soon?

Can I tell you, she's so talented.

She is.

We have nothing in common in San Diego,

but that's it.

But there's a one-way rivalry I have with her because I get tagged every time she gets a Netflix special

or she hosts a TV show.

Congratulations, Taylor Comedy.

And I'm like, I think you meant Taylor Tomlinson. Oh, no.
I got brought up as her recently. You know how they say dogs look like their owners? This one does not.
To me, it does. Let me see.
His belly is like his head. Well, they both said, I asked you before the show, you both have the same trauma, right? What happened to the dog that happened to you? We both have abandonment issues and neglect.
And we were both in a hoarding situation in a car with 20 dogs. Really? Really? Both of us, we grew up like that.
And this is Betty. This is baby Betty.
Baby Betty. And you knitted her sweater.
I knitted this with my own hands. Is she on fentanyl? Why is she nodding off? Yeah.
She's nodded off like four times already. She's honestly, don't take this the wrong way.
Is she from Bakersfield? She's from Los Angeles area. I don't know where.
So yeah, Bakersfield. Bakersfield, yeah.
When she doesn't, when she's up and rambunctious, I want her to sleep. I put on your show and she falls asleep very quickly.
Okay. See what you're doing right now? Insult, insult does not work.
See what you're doing right now? What happened? You don't do that. No, I'm a fan.
No. I love how he tried it.
San Diego. I love it.
It didn't sound like this. I love, dude.
Keep doing it. So listen, so Bobby, Bobby, like a couple of years ago, I see him in the hallway at the comedy studio guy and he's randomly very nice to me.
Like when I was 18 years old, he helped me-

Can I just say one thing real quick?

Please.

I just realized, you know, Hitler did that with his mustache, but he did it with his eyebrows.

Oh, wow.

Wow.

And it's really, wow.

Are you telling a Jewish guy that he has Hitler eyebrows?

Is that your comedy?

Is that your comedy?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

During this time?

Yeah, so anyway, go ahead.

I still don't understand.

It's an observation.

Go ahead.

They're just short.

I like it.

and your comedy during this time yeah so anyway go ahead I still don't understand you say my it was an observation go ahead my eyebrows they're just short I like it anyway let's move on these are natural that's great those are natural eyebrows yeah told you oh you did we had a bet I said that before the show I said I bet you those are natural eyebrows there's no way you cut them that way no I said those are natty that's all natty baby those are god given so go ahead sorry Jewish god given no less I didn't know you were Jewish we did not know you were Jewish. I didn't know you were Jewish.
We did not know you were Jewish. Yeah, I didn't know you were Jewish.
We would not have had you on the show. My mom told me to start mentioning it.
It helped my career these days, you know? Is that what you're- Yeah. It'll help me get attacked.
Say it how she would have said it, though. Say it how she- How would your mom say it? Hey, Taylor, you should say you're Jewish.
What? She's shy? Is your mom your dad? Actually, a single mom, yeah, kind of. Oh, really? If I got punished, she would say I'm a mother and a father.
Aww. You were abandoned? Yeah, a little bit.
What happened to dad? He's around. We wish him well.
He's a nice guy. What do you mean? He has a good LinkedIn profile.
But he wasn't in the house when you... He was in his house.
What does he do? He was an insurance agent. And then, yeah, no more of that.
But if you need insurance, you're good. I don't think I'm going to look up for your dad.
I want to support you, not your father. And your father wasn't there for you, it sounds like.
Support him. You know, divorced parents, you know.
How old? Make a comedian. When I was really little, like a baby.
One for me. Oh, yeah? Yeah, pre-one.
I think it was just before I was one, they split. Aw.
That's what you and I have in common. Oh, wow.
There you go. There's one thing.
Just two divorced parent, children of divorced parents.

With a puppy?

I do have a dog, but my dog is not as aloof as yours.

She's more alive.

But your mom found another man.

She did.

She found a great guy. Did your mom find another man?

She did.

What's his name?

David.

I thought he just made that up. He was nervous to say it.
Well, I mean, it's just kind of weird. David? We're giving out names? Yeah, we are.
You can just make it up if you don't want to. But we're leaving that.
To Raphael? We're leaving that in. Let's see what you want to do again.
We'll just cut that out. What's your mom's new guy's name? Dave? Goddamn, man.
It's different. different it's different what kind of breed of dog is betty she's thank you for asking she's uh i did that she's a rescue i'm a great person you know um but i did the dna test allegedly according to thing i said she's a 50 you want to take make guesses chihuahua for sure yeah uh maybe a little bit of uh i see pit.
Maybe some strong pit. Some pit in there, dude.
Maybe some American bulldog. Yeah.
Okay, so it's a Chihuahua... Havanese right now.
Chihuahua... Do you want an up-close look? No, no, no.
From here is good, yeah. Fine.
I feel like nothing's going to change. It's not a magic...
She's not she's not a magic eye it's just a dog a magic eye i don't need to get closer to see what the image you don't know what a magic eye is is that those things and then uh you press the button and no look up magic magic eye magic eye was a thing it was like a scrambling of an image and if you got closer and pulled away slowly look there's magic eye if you got closer and you and you pulled away you got to see the image that was layered within that it's actually incredible technology do you remember magic eye well i is that the one where you look it's on glass and then you have to see through the glass and then the images comes 3d i mean i kind of just explained it seconds ago but yeah no no no i mean moments ago if we can rewind two seconds it's different than what i'm talking about no no if you got closer as you slowly pull as you slowly pull away, your eyes readjust. There is an image within that image.
But is it 3D though? Well, dude, yeah. Okay, well then because the ones my mom has one.
It says, I love New York. But she doesn't want people to really know so they have to figure it out.
Yeah, yeah. It says, I love New York but it's this thing and she doesn't realize that she just thinks it's that.
Oh, that's so funny. It's so beautiful, the color.
I go, no, but it's a thing. Art.
It's good art, right? It is good art. And I stared at it and I went away.
You see the buildings? And I love New York. And I go, mom, look.
No, it's red. It's good.
You know what I mean? So she doesn't. But so are we talking about the same thing? Yeah, when Asians do magic eye, do you have to get closer, you think? Or because your eyes are strained more often than ours, maybe it's like longer.
I need a longer. Yeah.
It's a panoramic. A panoramic.
Yeah. I need a panoramic.
Panoramic. Can I ask a question? No, no, no.
Anyway, is that true? Are you being funny? Cause I'm actually curious. This guy, this fucking first time, last time on the show.
Can I tell you what this guy does? I'm fine with that. We love you.
I love you too. Can I tell you, this guy, when I was 18, he helped me get into the comedy store.
It was a big deal for me. He helped you get in? He helped me get in.
And he was very kind. But then every three years, he comes up to me and says, the sweetest, kindest thing, which means the world to me because I admire you so much as a comedian.
But in between, he's weird to me the whole time. That's love.
How am I to you? Be honest. Be honest.
We don't talk that much, but you're always kind. We say hi.
We have a kind exchange. What did I touch? I touched, what did I touch? You touch my butt a lot.
Yeah, I do touch your butt a lot. A lot.
And you've apologized for it, then you do it again. I do it every time.
Why do you touch his butt? Got a great little tush. He does, do you have one? Got a great little tush.
Yeah. Thank you.
But it doesn't make you uncomfortable, but I do apologize because I go, he probably doesn't want me to touch his tush, but I do a little tip tap as I go by in the hallway because it's a nice tush. You look like you come quick.
Oh, yeah. You come quick? No, actually.
Are you single? Whoa, wait, you last in bed? Yeah. Yeah.
I'm circumcised. I'm actually circumcised.
We're all circumcised, dude. I've talked to people about this.
Isn't circumcised making it harder to? Well, they say if you've got the sleeve, it's more sensitive and you've been clipped. You have a helmet.
We all have a helmet, buddy. We're all clipped.
Yeah, we have a helmet. I mean, this is part of a...
It's war. You need a helmet.
It's war. Wait, a helmet? Wait, I don't understand.
Helmet? What is a helmet? Helmet means you're uncircumcised, no? Circumcised, man. Circumcised means you have a helmet? Well, doesn't it look like a helmet? I mean, what does your head or your penis look like? Should I look right now? No, no, no.
Well, you can, yeah. Are there two parts to it? Or is this one solid kit? You have a sleeve covering up the head of your penis? My penis is in one piece.
Let me tell you something. Does your dick look like this? Or does it look like this? I thought, I'm not kidding.
I thought that was the helmet because it covers it. Buddy, this is the helmet when it's out in the open.
This is if you got a cloak on. You have a sleeve.
Yeah. You're sleeved up.
This is uncircumcised. They got sleeves.
But that's not the helmet? No, it's not. No, man.
The helmet protects it from the beginning hurts. It's a hoodie.
It's a hoodie. It's a hoodie.
You know, you ever see Assassin's Creed? Yeah, he's out slashing, slashing, right? Yeah. And then when he's fucking, he takes it off.
Helmet. know that yeah no yeah anyway let this fuck let me just kind of just tiles have a helmet too it's just covered up by a hoodie so they take up the hoodie but aren't jewish people just i don't know they circumcise they do circumcise they do a bris they do a bris so you're circumcised i am you have a.
And you got bris in front of a bunch of people. You got your dick snipped in front of people, right? I didn't.
You didn't do an old school bris they did at the hospital. Well, can I tell you something? Carlos told me what I should do to be a good guest.
Oh, that's a good guy to listen to. Oh, my God.
And he's like, just bring good stuff. You're failing.
I'm failing. It's okay.
No, you're doing great. It's funny.
This's funny. This conversation came up.
I don't want to. We don't have to do this.
But I thought it'd be funny when we played Two Truths and a Lie and I shared things. And then I think we'd have a great time.
I think we should do it. Two Truths and a Lie? I think it's fine.
Because wait, let me just set this up. He thinks I'm some fucking.
The more I listen to you, the more I realize you're Jewish. Yeah.
By the way, you jump through conversation. Yeah.
All Jewish people go... And then they say it, and then they go...
And then they say it. Slow down.
I'm not in a hurry. I know, we're here.
When your back hurts, do you make a noise? Oy, oy. Can I tell you? Oy, oy.
I sincerely started doing that. Yes.
Ironically, I make... How old are you now? 37.
Yeah, dude, wait till you hit 40, it gets worse. Do you say oy when you're 40? Yeah, I am Jewish.
As soon as I hit 40. You turned Jewish? I turned Jewish, yeah.
Oh, mazl. Grazie.
Are you single? In the questionable. What is that? Oh, you're kind of in a relationship.
You're seeing somebody. I've been seeing somebody.
Right? Yeah. And she a comedian or? No.
A lay person? Lay person, yeah. A human? Human, yeah.
And then how did you meet her? I met her at the Improv many years ago. We connected a couple of years ago and she was really special and stuff.
She lives in a different city. We're dealing some stuff.
Where does what what what state i wanted to get specific uh georgia atlanta yeah yeah have you ever been not have you ever been into men no only women only have you tried i haven't tried i've been thought about it i've been honestly i've thought about it a lot because i've been offered it tremendous amounts of times yeah And I've been offered wonderful things in exchange for participating.

Like what?

A condo?

Money.

Honda Civic.

I'm going to buy him a Honda Civic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Have you gone a condo?

I have a house.

Well, that must have been a rich guy.

You think I blew somebody for the house? I thought that's what we're talking about.

No, no, no.

I paid American money.

Well, but the money was acquired by-

By fucking, yeah.

By fucking glowing guys, yeah.

I blew a guy, but yeah, but-

That's great.

The only reason I ask is because when I first met you,

I did think you were gay, and I don't mean that as an insult.

No, up until I was like 26, people were like,

you're gay, you just don't know it yet.

And somehow it just stopped.

Like, it stopped abruptly.

People cut it out.

Yeah, but it just,

I don't know,

I did America's Got Talent

when I was like 27 or whatever.

Like, it just became-

You were fantastic on that show,

by the way.

Oh, thank you.

I do remember seeing you doing that

and thinking,

oh, this is like him proving himself nationally

because you were quite young on the show.

Thank you.

Wait, wait, let me ask you something. I got you in the comedy store before that show? That was like 10 years before, buddy.
I did that. You and Maz and John Caprullo.
Yeah, but let's just give him the credit, not those guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I give all the credit to you. Interesting.
You helped me get like Mitzi watched me. Oh, really? You look great.
Good looking kid. Who's that woman? Heidi Klum.
Oh, great. I've kissed her on the mouth.

Isn't that, didn't that feel weird with a fucking Nazi sitting next to you?

Did that not fuck up your ancestors?

Oh, you did kiss her.

Look at her.

Oh my God.

No, but you're going to be, there's a real mouth kiss when they're somewhere.

Oh, wow.

You kissed her a bunch.

Yeah.

Now, what was this about?

Yeah, what's that?

And there's Ginger.

I know Ginger.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wait a minute.

What's this about with you and Heidi Klum? Did you have a thing, dude? know we just you kiss the lady and no no no no you don't just kiss a fucking on-air personality without a backstory she's uh so i on the show we had a whole thing and like she was mean to me and i got her to like me and then like now like almost 10 years later people come up to me and go how's heidi doing and like it's like a shtick was there yeah i know it's a shtick i bought a house off of uh goofing with heidi you know are you asking if i made love to her no dude i'm not but a house off of the agt money yeah but also like like what do you mean i'm very talented and i know i know i get it that's why you're on the show dude don't do that i very confused. Listen, you're on the show for a reason.
We see you around. You don't have to do that.
All right. So what I'm asking you is, did you buy a house based on the money that you got from AGT? Yeah.
Wow. So how much do you get for AGT? Touring and stuff.
Touring. He's saying from this career thereafter.
Okay, well, then that's not the same. But what I...
Yeah, they pay no money. Carlos, you didn't tell me what to do when this happens.

Yeah.

But wait a minute.

But what I really want to know, you're skipping through it.

So you and Heidi had the-

I know this is a shtick, but also you're kissing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So-

So she came-

Listen, she came out to me after the finale.

The whole-

Like, I'm very lucky that I got to have like-

On these competition reality shows,

you don't get to have a storyline.

It's just performance and feedback.

I got to have a storyline throughout the season because of-

What was the storyline?

It was just a-

I'll tell you some stuff. So- He beat homosexuality.
Yeah. When I was young, they all thought I was gay.
Yeah. Can I tell you my- Heidi, get over here.
Give me a kiss. This was the definitive proof.
This is when I actually shifted gears. Interesting.
I go, guy's not gay. So on my season, there was two opera singers who the story was, we're gay and our parents don't love us, but we're still going to sing for our family.
Everyone has their storylines. I was like, I got bullied.
Let's talk about it. And they were just like, you're a cute comedian and you want to pay your bills.
And I was like, what? Yeah, you're cute. That's fine.
You don't need something deep. You're cute and you're fine.
You grew up healthy, right? You didn't have crazy shit happen. So you didn't have that storyline.
Like I was bullied and stuff. Well, I tried to say I got bullied.
I was like, let me give you excited. But everybody got bullied.
So it never really worked. He got bullied.
I got bullied. These two guys definitely got bullied.
I don't think anybody in our business didn't get bullied. In fact, the more I hear stories,

Jennifer fucking Lawrence is probably like,

oh, they made fun of me when I was young.

Yeah.

I think even like hot people in our business were bullied.

Everybody was kind of bullied

because you would have to be a kind of person

to think that you're going to make people

feel entertained for living.

I mean, I believe that-

You'd be a little loony.

I believe bullying is for me, and I don't endorse bullying. I do.
people feel entertained for living i mean i believe that little loon a little loony i believe

bullying is for me and i i don't endorse bullying i do i know you do but um keep on bullying yeah

but i believe that without the bullying i wouldn't be where i'm at today it pushed me it's like every

time i'm in a situation where someone says no or i get fucked over or this and that my whole

thinking is i'll show you i use it as energy i'll show you he dude he does that it's like revenge almost like Marvel wrote movies just about Bobby yeah well I'm Korean I think Koreans we love revenge movies everybody likes revenge I know but sort of the Spanish but Koreans their movies the theme revenge is always a thing well because of the history the history. Yeah.
Like fucking old boy is revenge. You know what I mean? It's a great movie.
Yeah. So my point is.
Gives you a thick skin. Who won your season? This guy, Kenichi.
We love Kenichi. Did we have him on the show? Can we get him on the show? You know who I love? Kenichi and I like Wa.
Kenichi and Wa, dude. Very good.
Kenichi Wa is great, dude. Together? Oh, Kenichi the magician.

No, that guy won?

Yeah, he's the...

That guy's the best.

Have you seen...

The head thing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I saw it.

He's great.

Yeah, but once you see it,

once you've seen it, you know?

Yeah, but can you take your head off...

You're writing new jokes.

It's like, once you've seen the head go down...

He's taking his head off his fucking torso.

It's not coming off.

I checked it out.

That's real, dude.

It's a rig, dude. No, it's not, dude.
He's taking his fucking head off his torso. That's's real, dude.
It's a rig, dude.

No, it's not.

He's taking his fucking head off his torso.

That's fucking big.

So this guy won.

Look at that.

This guy won.

Now he's an act in Vegas, I imagine.

He's in Japan.

He lives in Japan.

In Japan, Vegas.

Yeah.

He made a lot of money doing private.

That's the thing with the dancers.

You can only do seven minutes before you go.

You know what I mean?

You can't do an hour show.

In Japan, every other person can do that.

It's not even a big deal when he's in Japan. Dude, I had a guy.
He goes. And the other guy goes, I can do it too, you know what I mean you can't do an hour show in Japan every other person can do that it's not even a big deal when he's in Japan

dude I had a guy

he goes

I can do it too

you know

so

yeah

they

I do think

the whole goal

used to be

right

getting a Vegas show

right

wasn't that the whole thing

to get a residency

in Vegas

Shin Lim did it

yeah

he's still there

he's our boy

yeah

Shin Lim did it

he came on this show

oh yeah

gave us some magic

and I gotta tell you

enjoying you much more. Wow.
Much, much more. Also, we have a rapport, so it's different.
Wow. Thanks.
My favorite compliments are like, I like you better than whoever. Oh, I can say that about you about so many more people.
Well, don't let me get started. The list will never end.
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That's Buffy.co with code BADFriends for 25% off your Buffy order. Can I ask you? Yeah don't want to be mean.
What are you doing?

My hair?

No, just, you know.

Are you going his face?

You're not like his face? Oh, his hair?

Like fucking make a decision, you know.

Like can we do it?

Either do not or yes. Yes or no, but

don't do this. What are you trying to say, man?

You're trying to say I have thinning hair and... No, I'm just saying, what are you doing? What's up? What's up? Happy Thanksgiving.
That's what I'm saying, ask you. I'm on a happy Thanksgiving.
That's how I do it in Korea. What are you trying to say? Why don't you hash it out? I love you and thanks for being here.
Listen, I got bullied as a kid, so I have thick skin. I can handle it.
He can take it. Yeah.
Please ask me a direct question. I got you.
Go direct if you're going to ask him. Okay, okay.
Yeah. What I'm saying is that...
No. Just...
Let me try. I just...
What? Nothing. I just feel you trying to load up.
Yeah, I'm trying to load up. You know, it's like when I see a Q-tip, right? You know, it's either I want...
Because what should the cotton off yeah it hits the you know it hits parts of my ear differently right I don't think q-tip is the right analogy but everything that you just you're not even supposed to put q-tips in your ear by the way I know isn't that funny and you're saying you take off the safety part he tickles the inside of his ear I do you put the wire yeah the the the the hardened paper part the stick he puts the stick part area yeah yeah we had him on the bus he did loved it let's pass yeah pass on that yeah what i'm saying is it's just what you're doing right now is it's balding right but you have a few hairs and you're just trying to like does it bother you it wasn't until i saw it now and there's like a little you know the you know the in the bible that sees the parting of the red sea that's the one i'm so you're moses yeah that's happening and it's kind of distracting me a little bit i'm sorry no it's okay i'm just wondering why you're gonna put your please don't be mean well you what what please don't be you can let him defend himself I'm not defending him I'm sorry that No I'm asking you I want you to be comfy I'm so comfortable No you said it's making you uncomfortable For a second I was just Kind of wanting to ask you a question That's not really You know I can I can live with it Do you want me to turn around No no no I don't want you to turn around I love You know I love you dude I'm just Because I've been I've been wanting to ask you Yeah go, you know, because what Carlos is doing, he's like full. Have you seen Carlos without his hat? How long have you known Carlos? Do you go back on him? I've known him probably like 15 years or something.
So Carlos, this is, we've talked about this on the show. So, you know, this is, you know.
This is how he gets laid. He's the man.
Yeah. You don't like that? He's beautiful.
No, the hair. But his hair isn't like that.
I would have fucked him before I was 26. Yeah.
Phil Heidi Klum got a hold of you. Anyway, let's move on.
I'm happy to talk. No, I don't need to.
Was that inappropriate? No, I can tell you. Can you ask? You didn't want to ask? No, not really.
I mean, it didn't hit me. I don't really look at it.
Does it hit you now though? Look at it now. Well, now that you've made it uncomfortable that you've mentioned it.

Yeah.

No, I'm still not thinking about it.

It's not on my mind even a little bit.

Okay.

I think it looks good.

Oh, you know what?

Yeah.

That's good.

Okay.

But I mean.

But as someone who has so much hair like you,

I get that you look at other people's hair

and you judge everyone

because you have such long, luscious hair.

That's not what I'm doing.

What the fuck?

Am I wrong?

That's not what I'm doing.

Am I wrong?

You're right.

You have long, luscious hair. You see other people's hair.
You immediately mock them. You're a bully.
I was going to say this is a bully. One time I was looking at this guy, it's funny because you are being a bully actually and here's why, because I was talking to this guy once and I was looking down at his hairline and it was like he has the thicker hair and while I was actively thinking oh my god he has so much hair, He looks at me, up at me, he goes, you're so tall.
Oh, right. It's funny how normal, healthy people, we see, kind people, I'm sorry.
We see what we wish we had that someone else has. But you go, I have all of it and you have not.
That is what he does. Is that what I'm doing? Yeah.
You know what? Can I say something? Take your beanie off now just to show him how much nice hair you have I know thank you that's like 40 grand a hair right there thank you thank you at least yeah thank you for you you've shown a light at my frailties and my character defects yeah and I want to I want to apologize deeply no I love you no no I'm just saying this okay and you know what god forsaken and god bless you okay this looks like a scene this looks like a scene from old boy yeah yeah and you know you've given me deliverance you have and i've i've i've seen the errors of my ways and i will correct myself it's very nice i apologize listen we're all evolving and we're all doing the best we can what we were given and i appreciate this exchange and does the dog sleep in bed with you yeah really i was not going to be that person is that a point of contention with the person that you're dating no it's honestly it's wild like who i am like if you told me at 37 i'm gonna be the guy with a tiny dog i take places unironically i'd be like what the fuck happened no there's nothing wrong with that yeah we love this is animal friendly room here we love animals my girlfriend's so comfy she has a dog in the bed it's in atlanta yeah i just get scared of rolling over on my dog that's what i get fucked up about because i'm i'm a big bigger guy well i'm just a all right not fat i'm just making fun of his hair and i'm fat now no no you want to knock out everybody in the room what knock out everybody in the room yeah man i'm having trouble right now i got high cholesterol yeah yeah yeah i get it man i'm on fucking what am i on oh you're gay weight you gain weight i did what am i on right now my cholesterol medication what's it called osempe no i'm on levitra oh is that what it's called no lipitor levitra is the boner pills i'm on lipitor i'm on lipitor this is my new thing honestly it's pissing me off why am I taking this my cholesterol I did get a little fat I got a little does it affect you any when you take Lipitor I mean not really what are the side effects I mean maybe let's see if I got any of those because I just started fucking taking it hunger hunger? No, hunger. Nice try, bitch.

Diarrhea, normal.

Joint pain, normal.

Headache, get real.

Stuffy or runny nose.

Appetite increased.

Nausea, constipation.

So this is normal shit.

This is basically they gave someone a placebo.

They said all these things that usually happen to regular people.

They have to write it down in the book as possible side effects.

So no, I haven't had any of this stuff. The only thing I have had i'm not gonna lie when it first when i first started taking it is um the moment i would eat and i mean the moment food would be like if you know in the cartoon when it like splashes in your belly you know i mean like you feel like go down your throat splash in your belly my body immediately was like get it out get it out i'd have to go right to the bathroom but it wasn't nasty it just had to come out you know what it was it was like the train got in the station the other train needed to leave can i tell you something no joke my dog has that is your dog on lipitor like after she eats she has this look of like uh-oh gotta go yeah yeah i gotta go yeah i don't know what it is but it's not, it is, honestly, it's not gross, it's just one train's gotta go for the other one to get back in the station.
You know what it is? It's a Jewish thing. I know, I'm Jewish, I know.
You became Jewish. She's Jewish.
Yeah, dude, my wife is Jewish. I get it, dude.
She's Jewish. I know, she is Jewish.
Bob's the only one that's not Jewish in this room. Yeah.
By the way, let's congratulate right now. Speaking of dogs, South Korea unveils its plan to ban dog meat by 2027.
Why so long? Well, you gotta give... Five years? Let it catch up.
Yeah. They got freezers full of it.
Yeah. Well, imagine like dogs in cages like five years.
How are we gonna make it? No, they're not gonna make it. They got fucked.
No, five years. What do you mean? It's 2027? Yeah, they have to phase it out buddy it's 2024 and an inch tomorrow's 2024 right so three years three years it's not that bad oh he doesn't yeah that's what what's so funny oh god math math math an asian who's bad at math i didn't say that it's just nuts it's not it's like it's rude it's like it's like when a black guy can't play basketball you're like what's going on yeah yeah yeah i don't know you can't even shoot i don't know much korea unveils that plan to ban the dog see those dogs right there waiting to get eaten they might well one of them they're fucked they're fucked that's a dog meat farm yeah this is a dog meat farm yeah wow i know zoom in on who wrote the article min Minju Kim.
Oh my God.

Well, Minju, I hoped you saved some of those dogs when you got that nice photo of them.

By the way, zoom in on Minju Kim.

That looks like Bobby in a wig.

Is that not you?

That's insane.

That's you.

God, I feel so bad for those dogs, man.

This is what's crazy because we're a big dog show over here.

Yeah. Everybody in here has pets.

Well, except Carlos, did your dog die yet?

No. No.
He's alive? I know you told me i have to give him to bobby if i fuck up again did you fuck up again no i didn't so i'm just i'm i have him on on uh what is it called he's on probation because he fucked when he first got a dog we're all supportive and then he fucked up what'd you do i just messed up a an airport pickup for Bobby. Does it involve the dog?

No, not at all. Oh, I don't care.
Well, I thought you were going to say that he injured his dog. No, he has done dumb shit with the dog.
He's left the dog places. He left it in a Jeep for four hours without the AC on or anything.
Carlos. No, not really.
Bobby was actually mad. I know.
I liked it. Oh, my God., but we did say, if we find out that he's not behaving correctly with the dog,

like if he's doing dumb shit,

like not feeding it and forgetting about it, leaving it places,

we're removing the dog from him.

I love that.

I think everyone should have to.

Yeah, you have to hold responsibility for your friends.

You're so talented.

Thank you.

I'm the second most talented person in America,

like literally. No, no, no, no.
No, no, no. No, no, no.
No. No, no, but I'm just saying you're very talented.
Thank you. That means a lot.
You know, I think the times where I made fun of you and stuff. I never made fun of you.
No. The times I made fun of you is I was trying to, because a lot of times you just, you know, at the comedy clubs.
Yeah. You know what I mean? You're just like, this is what, you know what I mean? You're very inside yourself.
Which I think is why I tap you on the tush, just to scare you a little bit. Like you turn into Kramer when I tap you on the butt.
And then we- I think it's just to shock you, because you look so like- But we've also talked about things that are going wrong. You always come up to me with things that are going wrong, and things aren't happening.
What's going wrong right now? Yes, you have. I have once.
That's what I'm saying. Do you want to know the advice you gave me? Okay, yeah, go ahead.
This is Bobby Lee's career advice from a few years ago, right before COVID. I was like, I'm really stressed.
I'm hard. Whatever.
Things didn't work out. Some pilots, whatever.
And I don't know what to do. I feel like a dead end.
And he goes, sincerely and loving, like no shtick. Like he cares.
I know you care about me so much. He gave me his heartfelt advice.
He says, Taylor, stop trying to do anything. Stop hustling.
Stop pushing yourself because when I stopped doing those things, that's when everything happened for me. And he gave me examples of his famous friends who have helped him because he's very talented.
They've known him for many years. And I'm just like, Bobby, I think this advice i don't think it's good it is good no i think it's a it's very good i think stop trying to do everything no last night no okay can i say stop doing anything but i hear how it worked for you and i was and all due respect may i talk with all due respect okay do less am i what i'm doing too much do less Yeah.
Okay. Don't hit him so hard.
You're right. He's here.
He's brand new. Because he'll keep striking.
Okay, you're right. Because he's really ripping me apart right now.
I know, well, relax. Not at all.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've attacked him a couple times.
I don't find that to be true. I found the opposite to be true.
I got to tell you, if we put up an attack board, I think it's tied. It's got to be two to two.
Tell me one time I've attacked this gentleman. Well, you just pointed at him.
Yeah. That was rude.
There, did it again. You keep doing it.
Sorry. The three, four, five.
This I don't like. He doesn't like that.
This is like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I took Japanese classes.
This is rude, but this is polite. No, this is like, here's some food.
Can you speak Japanese? Koshi. Oh, koshi.
Koshi, koshi. And poker.
Let me hear if I, do a sentence. Let me hear if I can translate it.
Ogenki desu ka? Ogenki desu means good day. Not too far.
Yeah. How are you? How are you? Yeah.
People say for how are you or good day. It's kind of the same thing.
No, I know this is a fact. It's the same way we say what's up.
We're not really asking you what's up. It's like what's up is like saying, hey, how's it going? Or what? It means 50 things.
You have an Asian fetish. Me? No.
Are you putting pieces there? No. You have an Asian fetish.
Of course he does. I fit the...
You thought his girlfriend was white? In Atlanta. Are you out of your...
Is your girlfriend white? No. What is she? She's Asian.
She's half Filipina. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I get it. Okay.
You want to learn the language, huh? Get into their minds. You get in their mind, you get in their pants.
Yeah. She doesn't speak Japanese.
It doesn't matter. How much do you weigh? That's what you want.
That's your ultimate goal. I think I'm 165.
I knew it, yeah. Well, anybody under 170, a white guy under 170 who's tall cannot date a white girl.
They all like Asians. Any tall, you're listening right now.
If you're a tall white guy, I'll tell you. A six.
Yeah, see? Any guy that's over 5'10", that's less than 170 pounds, 100% has an Asian girlfriend or wife. Small vaginas, long, udon-like penis.
She does not have a long udon-like penis. No, you.
No, you do. He's saying you do.
I know she doesn't. You've seen it, though.
Your penis?

Can I tell you what?

Too many thoughts right now.

Are we flirting right now?

No, I'm not flirting.

No, I'm just coming to Revelations.

So I fit all the check marks, but I can tell you why I study Japanese, and it's like it

ruins it.

No, no, no.

You don't.

I'm going to calm down.

I'll let you fit.

No, I'm going to calm down. I like it.
I'm trying to calm down. I don't want to take away your sand.
You're not taking, you're not taking away anything, my friend. All right, touche.
Okay, but what I'm going to say is, is, okay, I'm just trying to be calm and in the pocket because he gets me all rolled up. I know, he gets you jazzed up.
What I want to say is, I don't need to know the reason because I already know the reason. That's right.
You understand? I understand. Right.
I do too. I've been to countries and I've seen dudes like you.
Yeah. Ex-pats.
Like you. You know what I mean? Yeah.
And you have that energy. It's fine.
Have you been to Singapore or Malaysia? No. You've never been to Asia? Thailand? Japan.
You've been? Oh, you went to Japan. Just to Japan.
How long? Well, when he was on the hunt. That's where you hunt.
He's out where you hunt once a year you go on a hunting trip with your buddy he goes on the street yeah your white buddies yeah we're here konnichiwa konnichiwa yeah and what'd you say what was the first thing mugugai pan close is oh genki desu ka oh genki desu ka what does that mean it means how are you how are you that's him yelling from the root. I don't know.
Yeah, you do. Well, we can Google it.
I don't. You really don't? I don't know.
Oh. On this topic, so I asked him if I could do the podcast.
I texted him. He didn't write back.
Yeah. And I understand that's your style.
I understand. So I didn't take it personally.
But then I saw you in the home. And you're like, I know you asked me to do my podcast.
I don't know if you can handle it, man. And I'm like, I think I can.
And then on this topic, he goes, I'm going to ask you questions you can't handle. I'm like, I don't know.
He's like, and he goes, I'm going to ask you like, do you lick pussy? I was like, I think I can answer that. Do you? Yeah.
That's a pretty easy answer. You think he loves it? He does.
Yeah, he does. Yeah, he does.
I feel like he gets nervous though. Do you get nervous when you're down there? What's the fun about this interview is I don't have to be here.
You know the answers already. Yeah, kind of.
I have it all figured out. His hands are shaking.
I love it. Yeah.
Anyway, so let's go back to what I was going to say about my advice. I hear you, but I've done like 20 years of just being really, working really hard on my standup and being funny.

And then I got on your show

because I asked, you know?

And like I have a special coming out.

I have a special coming out

because I self-financed it

and made it myself.

What's it called?

Live at the Comedy Store.

Creative.

Hanukkah release.

We're doing a Hanukkah release.

Oh, that's good, dude.

That's great.

So you released the special in 12 parts? That'd be kind of fun to do. It's eight, but that's funny.
But 12 is good. You know what I mean? 12 is a better.
It's a better number. We could have, because Jews are back.
Make it a dozen. Let's make it, it's Hanukkah the 12 nights because of the oppression we're experiencing.
I like this. More presents.
But yeah, so it's live at the Comedy Store. It's a special, my best jokes I've ever told, and I'm so proud of it.
Fuck yeah. It's your first special.
Second. Second special.
Yeah. But the first one, you didn't self-finance the first one.
No, no, no. Other people financed it.
Yeah. This is out of your pocket.
Yeah, it's like very freeing. Dr.
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That's his favorite. Yeah.
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I want to know more about you instead of this fodder.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want the fans to know more about.

When's the first time you fucked?

I say 20.

Well, you say 20, but it wasn't?

Whatever.

Fucked, fucked is 21.

Then why 20? I got on quick. Why 20? I did a little bit of something When I was 20 You know Like you dipped it in Yeah yeah One of those What is it called Let it soak You let it soak You soaked it in I didn't even I just did like It was just like She was like Every woman I've ever By the way Every woman I've ever dated Has been like Or ever hooked up with whatever Has been like, a condom, I don't need it.
The stereotype of a man is like, guys are like, I forgot it, we don't need it. Every woman I've ever, you know.
No, I don't know what you're saying. Well, here's why.
If I'm a girl, you look clean. Thank you.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. If I was a woman, I'd be like, no.
This guy's fine. guy's fine yeah thank you also I wouldn't be afraid of you getting me pregnant I figured you know like you'd decent genetics no no no no I feel like they would be they're swimmers but they're not going the right direction yeah yeah they're going back in do you think I'm infertile or just no no you have a lot of sperm but they go, but they go back into your penis.
Okay. And all you get is the liquid part.

Okay.

Yeah, but they're back in.

I think they get nervous.

They get out there and they're like, oh no.

And they go right back.

Thank you.

They get a little, I think they get a little tepid.

I also think that your testicles are cozy.

Oh.

Yeah, you have like a cozy testicle. Warm balls.

Yeah, yeah.

Warm, warm balls.

Yeah.

I love this.

Yeah.

Whatever the opposite of bullying is.

Yeah, but Diah, let's go back.

I don't know what their names are. What's the bigger, what's the are.
What's the bigger testicle, right or left? I don't know. Are they different sizes? They sure are.
One hangs lower for sure. I just learned they moved recently.
They go wherever they want. Recently.
You're never in cold weather? But I mean, you can hold them and they're kind of like those Mexican jumping beans. Sorry, Carlos.
No, but that's what they're called.

That's what they're called.

I know.

Thank you.

Sorry.

By the way, somehow Mexican jumping beans sounds so racist.

Yeah, yeah.

Is it not what they're called?

It just sounds like something Trump said.

Yeah.

It does.

I was at the airport.

They're Mexican jumping beans right over the wall.

Over the wall they go.

Bing, bong, bing.

It sounds like he said that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mexican jumping beans.

But is that not what they're called?

No, they are.

Yeah, they are.

They are.

I was at the airport in Tucson

and they had them for sale.

I haven't seen those in like 20 years.

It's like, what do you want?

Yeah, they probably got rid of them for a while.

Well, there are little insects in the bean, right?

Yeah, and they're trying to get out.

Yeah, they're slowly dying. They're tortured animals.
It's's like sea monkeys they're just like creatures you're torturing well what what creatures are we okay with torturing then i guess let's make a standard i don't like this but lobsters people are down for just like it's like dude do you know about lobsters though they're evil oh yeah they're satanic i didn't oh yeah they their claws fucking this is what they're doing the whole time. Yeah, they're doing this, and then they're like molesting crabs.
Six, six, six, six, six, six, six. They fumble crab, and crabs are like, dude, they're victims, dude.
Yeah. But someone hurt.
It doesn't make it okay, but someone hurt people hurt. Someone did that to them, and now they do it to us.
To the lobster? Who did it to the lobster? I don't know. I don't know.
Squids? Oh, yeah. Those fucking dickheads.
Those fucking assholes. You know who we like the least on this show? Dolphins.
Dolphins can fuck right off. Perverts.
Pigs. They're pigs.
Honestly, do you like dolphins? Be real. Do I? I mean.
Like, if you're in the ocean, you saw a dolphin next to you, what would you do? In the ocean, I would be scared, honestly, if I saw a dolphin next to you. If I'm in the ocean.
You're not going to do anything to you. Yeah, yeah.
What are you scared? I don't want- I'd be like, is that a dolphin or a shark, first of all? Well, he just told you it's a dolphin. Well, if the dolphin's like, don't worry, I'm a dolphin, bro.
I'll be like- They don't say that. They don't say that.
So then I- They go- And then they start fucking. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Are they just chilling next to you so you can get a good look? They'll swim by you. I know they're chilling.
They're not like- I don't want to be next to a dolphin in the water.

But if I'm in like...

I was recently at a friend's house

who's doing well for himself

and he has a house by the beach

and we saw dolphins in the beach.

Daniel Tosh, we get it.

Oh yeah, Danny.

Yeah, I know Danny from Florida.

Yeah.

Danny from Florida?

That's what we call him.

You call Daniel Tosh Daniel from Florida?

So you went to Danny's house?

Was it Danny from Florida?

From Florida's house?

When he calls into radio shows, that's what he calls him. Okay, so you went to his house? Danny from Florida.
I was at Max's house. But Max has money and he lives on the beach in Malibu? Yeah.
Wow. That's cool, man.
But the problem, though, is that in like 10 years, the house is going to be gone and you can't fill it. We'll be dead in 10 years.
We'll be 10 years. Oh, good.
I didn't know that. Did you not hear Joe Biden address the country yesterday? What did he say? We'll be dead in 10 years.
He was like, 10 years is going to fall apart. So.
You say I'm going to be dead in 10 years? I couldn't make it out what he was saying, but I did think he was saying the world's over. Did you translate any of that stuff? No, but he did mention something about Taylor too.
About this Taylor? Yeah, Biden. What did he say? No, he said that we're all going to die, but specifically Taylor Williams.
all gonna die but specifically Taylor Williams yeah did you see the picture of his cake on fire? did you see that photo? let me see it this is classic Joe Biden this is our president that's crazy 81 candles it's on fire happy birthdaye you're on fucking fire should i blow these out no dude you'll die that's it that's really that's like a joke why is how is that real here's the problem with this guy yeah so many i could go on for hours he's really genuinely so unaware it's not even his fault anymore they're parading this guy around like fucking uh i mean genuinely they're parading this guy around and he has no clue what's going on yeah like they literally posed him for that they put his arms like that he's like gumby you think he was posed like a hundred percent i bet my life on it that's so he doesn't fall you know or this guy the earth is spinning fast for this guy but when you put your like that, the candles were probably normal. And he could have done that with his dark brand in.
Oh, wow. Laser eyes.
Yeah, dude. That's cool if that's true, honestly.
Now, have you ever met a lizard person? A politician of any sort of strength or power? Have you ever been in a room with any lizard people? Not lizard people. I've done some USO tours, so I've met like the chairman, I joined chief of staff.
Whoa. That's pretty good.
I know. Yeah, close.
I spent 4th of July with General Millie. Whoa.
Millie Bobby Brown. Yeah.
When did she get generalized? I didn't know she got generalized. Congrats, Millie Bobby Brown.
Is he nice, General Millie? He's so badass and cool. I think he's a Massachusetts guy.
Is that him right there? He's a- That's a badass dude. And he's a chump.
Like, he's famous because Trump- We're not supposed to know who these people are, you know? But he's famous because Trump is always hating on him because he like kept democracy intact. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's cool though. Look at all those fucking things on his chest.
Look at the little flags. Those are all the countries that he bombed? Yeah.
Is there one for swimming or something? Yeah. Is it canoeing and stuff like the Boy Scouts or no? The very top one is for swimming.
If you can hold your breath in an Olympic pool down and back once, I'll give you the first one. You get the top one? That's the first one.
Can you zoom in a little bit? I'll tell you what all those are. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tell me what all those are. All right.
So the top one's swimming, right? Right underneath it to the left, the green and yellow. A dozen chicken wings in under a minute.
Really? That's what it is. I had no idea.
Yeah. My, my uncle's in the military.
He tells me all this fucking stuff. It's wild.
Oh, I know the one to the right. He broke three boards with a karate chop.
Yeah. Karate chop.
That's karate chop board. Yeah.
Yeah. So that's, I have one of those.
It's somehow not that impressive. I know.
I mean, I have one. My dad has one.
Well, my whole family has one. Do you have a karate have a karate chop uh metal no i got to yellow belt and i uh my mom started taking karate single mom cool single mom style she took it i was taking karate the same time she was taking karate and then so she took because i was taking it and then i i failed the orange belt test and she passed the orange belt test wait did she keep going is your mom a black belt now after I stopped.
After she fucked you up, she quit. That's so funny that your mom stopped after she beat you.
So you have yellow still for the rest of your life and your mom has orange. Yeah.
Man, that's so cool. Your mom's the shit.
Is she available to come on the show at some point? I mean. What does she do for a living? She's a brilliant artist.
She was famous in Japan. That's why I started taking Japanese lessons.
What's her name? Can we showcase her art? I would love to. Unfortunately, her online presence isn't killer.
Someone else has her name. If you look up Suzanne Marie Art Del Mar, you'll find her.
Suzanne Marie Art Del Mar. So down in Del Mar, does she have a shop? So yeah, that's one of her, like that one, the second one, that's some of her art.
Okay. Okay, let's see some.
Her art's been in a bunch of movies and stuff. Oh, okay.
And shows and stuff. Whoa, that's beautiful.
That's beautiful. Let me see, zoom in on that.
She was like legit superstar in the 90s. Can I tell you, I was in Japan a few years ago.
Yeah. And I walked by an art gallery and I went inside and in Japanese, these people don't speak English.
I was like, Boku no Kasa and Suzanne Marie des. Like my mom is Suzanne Marie.
And they were all freaking out because she was like- I think they freaking out because you spoke japanese oh you know oh perelman perelman speak japanese too this creepy old japanese guy who's like probably 70 he was like oh suzanne maria very tall and i was like okay wait wait wait oh that's fucking great actually she's so is that oil um i don't i don't know what it was made on.

I don't know. Do you watch her work ever?

I know. You don't fucking know what your mom's

what medium of art she uses?

She uses acrylic.

Where does she live? San Diego?

And do you go down there and visit her?

And you don't see her studio?

She's not doing as much as she used to.

She's been doing

some other stuff. But she's still with your stepdad? Yeah.
You like him? Yeah. What does he do? He's a doctor.
Oh, she did good. Yeah, he said Del Mar.
Oh, Del Mar, nice. I'm living in Del Mar if he's- Yeah, have you ever go to the Del Mar Fair? I've been to the Del Mar Fair.
I love the Del Mar Fair. Yeah.
It's a nice part of San Diego. It's very nice.
I like it up there. Del Mar is beautiful.
Yeah, I'm lucky. It's funny, like I grew up a mom style in a little townhouse, you know, and artist style.
Some of you, we have money. Some of you, we're broke.
What are we doing? But all my friends are filthy rich. Yeah, that's got to be wild to grow up in that world where you are the poor artist scumbag child and everybody else is finance kids.
I remember my buddy got a BMW M3 for his 16th birthday. For his fucking birthday? Oh Oh yeah.
Wow. Jesus.
And he has a job at the, this is what they do because one of them marries, the dad marries a normal kind woman, you know, who's like not rich, you know, that's the generation, you know, now women have jobs, it's beautiful. Yeah.
And you know what I'm saying? Am I canceled? So then, but then like they get jobs at like the movie theater because like my mom told me I have to get a service job. They have to just work a regular job.
She drives this M3 to make $5 an hour at the movie theater. Keep them humble in some way.
Right, it's a balance. I get that.
That makes sense though. Because you had money coming.
You worked at the fucking coffee shop. That's right.
I worked at Postalantics. Did you really? Yeah, three years, Postalantics.
God, that's so funny. Can we go back to your mom's art or no? I could hold an envelope and tell you how much it weighed and how many stamps it needed.
That's so pathetic. That's my mom's art.
Can I buy it? How much is a piece? You're so sweet. I would love to connect you.
She's been- But how much is it? I don't know. Guess.
It says $600. Oh, that's $600? This is a serigraph.
It's not an original. Oh.
I'll do the $600. Okay.
I mean, this doesn't go to her, but this is some creepy guy who has her stuff from a long time ago. Yeah.
Then I won't add it to cart. Yeah, don't buy it from this.
I don't like these people. Whoever they are, they're just scumbags who own her stuff from a long time ago.
Oh, really? And they're reselling her art? Yeah. Well, this show is going to help.
So I guess don't buy any of the fans that are interested. Please don't buy anything unless it's going to be direct and if you want to buy direct for taylor's mom's art his phone number is right here on the screen we're going to put it up right on the screen taylor's direct cell phone number call him and ask him for uh the link to his mom's art thank you i preach honestly like uh my please i there's another suzanne marie respect to her but it's not my mom the one that's mostly on the internet not my mom.
She just didn't adapt to social media and all that but she's just more private collector. She's a big thing at Hebrew University if you ever go out there she does a lot of things for private collectors.
If you can't get a hold of Taylor from the phone number we just put on the screen we're going to also put up his home address right now. I'd like you to go by his house say hi to him give him handshake, and tell him that you'd like to buy some of his mom's art.

Keep going.

Thank you.

Yeah.

She teaches art at Hebrew University?

Her work has been in.

Let's go back to your past.

I think her art.

Can we go back to your past?

Her art's in the movie Bachelor Party, where it falls off the wall.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Tom Hanks.

Yeah.

Woo!

Great movie.

I love that movie.

She has the art piece that falls off the back of the wall.

Barry Diamond's in that movie. Barry Diamond.
I vote for him. Rest in peace.
Let's move on. He's not dead.
Is he not? No. Oh, wow.
Some people just think are dead. Yesterday I thought, is John Goodman dead? No, he's still alive.
I know. I know.
But do you know what I- We knew who just died? Who? Jimmy Carter's wife. Yeah.
Rosalind Carter. She did? She was 94.
Oh, no. He's 99 still alive.
What's he up to, JC? Like just every second, I want to stay alive. He's just staying alive.
Staying alive, dude. That rest in peace.
I saw a video today of a guy who's 103 years old. They said, what's the secret? I mean, it's go.
No? No, no. You got to ride it out.
Oh, you got to ride it gotta ride it out till the wheels fall off yeah now with that picture of him with the thing over his eye i remember this happened who fucked him up was he at a bar and just got fucking not imagine jimmy carter oh i know what it is look he looks japanese there oh stop asian hate that's what happened dude did someone attack jimmy carter thinking he was Asian? Fuck you, you old Asian piece of shit. Doesn't he look kind of, look at him.
Oh, he's going in the sky. He's staring right at an eclipse and they tell you not to look at it, but there he is looking right at it.
These aren't the best photos of him. The internet does this, man.
When you get older, they put up so many fucking rude photographs of you. Yeah.
This is why you're supposed to die young,ilyn monroe is the best example she died at 36 years old there isn't a bad photo of the girl and the guy uh like it's james dean james dean oh yeah same guy yeah same thing steve mcqueen you know what i mean there's no bad photos look up steve mcqueen there's no bad photos of this fucking guy it's when you die young they can't take a bad photo of you look at that fucking guy. He was like 70 there, no?

No, he looks great.

No, when did Steve McQueen die?

Didn't he die on the younger side?

He died of cancer, right?

When did he die?

How old was Steve McQueen?

50.

Yeah, he's a young guy.

That's young as shit.

50 years old, man.

50 so fucking young.

What's that?

He died in Juarez.

Yeah, Juarez, Mexico, right? You cannot get a bad photo while you're 50 you know what dude i know what you're fucking doing right now i don't know he's targeting at you all day today you're are you talking look up bobby lee see if there's any bad photos of him you're trying to talk shit look at these images handsome cute cool handsome funny sharp, cool, funny, sharp. Okay.
You look like Sarah Jessica Parker in that one picture. Yeah, you do.
Cool shirt. Look at that, though.
Not one bad photo, Andres. You jerk.
You can't even tell the difference there between me and Stevie. No, you can't a little bit.
Yeah, good photos. So recant what you said.
Take it back, Fancy, please. I was just asking.
No, no, no. You know what you were doing.
You were shooting your shot. Honestly, dude, I want to be real.
I was going to fucking let it go, dude. What is your fucking problem with me today, dude? I was going to let it go, but what the fuck is your problem with me today, dude? You've been attacking me since fucking I got here.
Yeah. I've only been nice to you.
And also, can I say something? I've been giving you hugs, dude. Yeah, he has been hugging way more.
Have I not been hugging you? Your fucking ugly pork body? Oh, my God. Hey, be nice.
You look like a sea fly. No.
I don't know what sea fly is. Shrimp shumai.
I don't know. He said shrimp shumai.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that you went through that.
What food won't you eat? I don't eat a lot of foods. I'm a picky eater.
I can tell. I can tell.
He's got that fucking picky white eater guy. Yeah, yeah.
Okay, let me ask you something. Yeah.
Would you eat fried butterfly wings? That's a good question. Yeah, yeah.
I wouldn't want to. Like, I'd prefer not to.
Like, if I was... Are you a meat eater? I don't eat red meat.
How about this? But do you eat white meat? I eat, like, chicken and turkey, yeah. How about this? Yeah, so the...
I'm at a restaurant. I'm a waiter.
I put down a nice plate of sautéed monkey farts. Yes.
You would eat it? What region are they from? Right. Papua New Guinea.
Oh, my God. You're not going to eat that? I'll eat that.
Pass it my way. Papua New Guinea has the best monkey farts.
Fried monkey farts? Yeah. They have the best.
Delicious. Sauteed.
Sauteed monkey farts. Not fried.
A little bit of garlic? Yeah, yeah. I would eat it because I feel bad that it's going to waste.
Like the monkey farts just die. Oh, you're a preservation guy.
Yeah, yeah. Probably not a lot of food there.
Can I guess what your favorite meal is? It doesn is it doesn't seem solid your favorite meal yeah i want to say pizza for some reason you feel like you like pizza mac and cheese mac and cheese i never liked mac and cheese i get i get the vibe why you never liked mac and cheese that's an insane that's a claim i don't think i've ever heard a human say before porridge oh no a little porridge you're a porridge boy are you a pot pie guy no i don't like those consistencies well oh so you give me consistent consistency and i'll tell you what you eat beans that's it okay wait a minute do you just eat beans yeah i don't like beans you don't like beans no no give me consistency you like and then we're gonna try to guess i mean it's not like all i eat but like- You're a big Chick-fil-A guy, aren't you? Yeah, see, I got it. Did I get it? I got it.
Fuck. Chick-fil-A? It only took me a few.
What? Did you see in my car? I didn't look at your car. I didn't know where you parked.
That was a natural guess. You do look- My Chick-fil-A bit? I have a bit about Chick-fil-A.
Oh, really? Really? Let's not hear it. No, I don't want to hear it.
The waffle fries? They got you. I like that.
How many little nugs are we getting? What pack? 20? They're all good. I'm usually, if I'm driving, I would get the sandwich because I'm driving.
Sammy drive. If I'm not driving, the strips.
Ooh. But then the nuggets are probably the most delicious.
So I understand. You have a childlike appetite.
Sure. But I've gotten better at it, though.
Like, I can go to dinner with a lovely lady or a business thing, and I can pretend I don't want fish sticks. Will you push around the salad though? You're not going to eat the salad.

I don't love salad. I know.
I can tell you. I'm a beautiful

woman. I meet you online.
You

broke up with your girl from Atlanta. Yeah.

I'm a Japanese.

What's your name?

Tiko. Tamiya.

Konnichiwa. No, Tiko.

Tiko Tamiya. Tiko Tamiya.

You're half Japanese. No.
I don't think Tiko is a name. No, it's my internet name.
Oh, okay. I'm an influencer.
First of all, dude, let's not disrespect Tiko Tamiya. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's pretty well known. All right.
I'm sorry. I don't know that.
You're American. I'm an American.
I respect that. I'm so sorry for assuming that you should speak the language.
Anyway. Anyway.
Anyway, Tewo. Anyway, Tewo.
You have the accent, though, even though you, she's an influencer. I'm an influencer, dude.
All right. Yeah.
And I, you know, I hawk seaweed snacks. Yes.
On my TikTok. Yes.
So anyway, where are we eating? What restaurant are you going to take me? When you do that, let me say something. I love that noise.

You do that with the waffle fries and the fucking chicken sandwiches, right?

Is that the noise your penis made when you kissed Heidi Klum?

Did you get hard?

Actually, no.

Okay.

So anyway, back to me.

Respect to her though.

What's my name again?

Tico.

What's my last name?

Tico Tamai. Kamai.
Tico Komai. Anyway, where are we eating? I'm not sure.
I'm like, I... Well, you didn't make reservations.
It's like... I take you to maybe like a nice vegan Thai food restaurant.
Interesting. I saw Ed Begley Jr.
there once. Okay.
Ed Begley Jr. That's a good one.
That is good. I love him.
I met him once. He's super sweet.
So a vegan Thai joint. Maybe.
I'm not vegan, but like somewhere interesting conversation. But have you been there before? Yeah, scope it out.
Have you eaten there before? Yeah. Is it good? Yeah.
Okay. Where's it at?

I'm not looking to plug this.

I mean, there's one in the Studio City area.

Okay.

You should go.

Do you think that's a good date?

No.

This sounds like a bad date.

I don't like it.

Okay.

What do we do afterwards?

You know, I don't know.

I've been in the relationship thing.

I'm just trying to think of a single life.

What do you do?

Like maybe, I don't know, go to a bar down the street. What bar? Ventura has a lot of bars.
Tico, you're sober. Yeah, I'm sober.
Maybe I say goodnight because I'm not in a hurry. I'm an older guy now.
I'm like, I have a dog to go home. I want to smash.
Then maybe I go, listen, let's. Where are we going to smash? I have a dog now, so I don't know.
I mean, I've had a, I guess I... Man, I hope you stay in this relationship.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no.
Can I tell you? So, wait, wait. This is going to be tough.
I don't even know where to start. Like, where do you start? Like, I would say come to my place.
No, you're talking to me, so don't... Tico.
Yeah, so where are we going to go? I would say Tico. I've had a great...
After dinner? So, checks paid. We're staring at each other.
Are you paying?

Are you staring at me? Are you paying?

Yeah.

Oh, thank you for paying.

Yeah.

Where are we going?

Where are we going to smash?

Oh, God, Tico, look at how much he tipped.

16%.

Wow.

That's pretty embarrassing.

You know when I saw that?

A little juice.

A wet?

Yeah, a little bit.

Slightly over at the minimum.

She likes it when you're a bad boy. That's a it's bad boy are you telling me that no no you can hear it you have you have hearing right poor hearing what do you think that is when you hear that i had a tumor as a child and i can't hear in this ear for ever are you being serious yeah you can't hear out of your left ear that one very poor hearing in my left ear where was the tumor he laughs at the.
It's just so sad. When I'm sad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have a tumor there now? The tumor's been removed.
I have a titanium thing that allows me to hear. So you can't hear? I can't hear whispers.
If you whisper, it's sweet. All right, so you don't hear it.
What if I say it? So I go, and then I know you didn't hear it I go well I just my

vagina just made a noise but can I ask a question on this no go ask gas I like

to ask me ask me I go Tico ma'am are you was it attractive to you that I tip so

little or that it's a lot to you which part was hot to you what you know usually

guys try to impress yeah and they'll pay like you know I dated Bobby Lee once

that guy he tips like 30% at 30% it's like too much it's like me look to you. Well, you know, usually guys try to impress and they'll pay like, you know, I dated Bobby Lee once.

That guy,

he tips like 30%.

Yeah, 30%.

And it's like too much.

It's like me,

look at my big dick.

Right?

And he has one.

Yeah.

That's why he does stuff like that.

Right?

Excuse me?

I don't-

Excuse me?

He does.

We're talking about Bobby Lee.

Yes, the comedian.

Big dick.

Okay.

Oh God, I'm happy to hear it.

I heard-

What'd you hear?

What'd you hear? I'm just gonna tell you what I heard. I wrote it down.
No you hear really i'm telling what this is true yeah so uh we did a photo shoot me and betty with jen rosenstein today the photographer love jen rosenstein and she told me to say uh because i told you i was worried you're gonna be mean to me like you told me you would be yeah and she says for me to tell you be nice to taylor or his dog is gonna bite off your tiny pp hmm she's not a comedy writer is she i'm just i didn't you know she's married to right yeah my ex-girlfriend yeah but i that's a bad shot oh no no no no no no no don't don't i'm calling jet all right call her up i'm gonna call her call her up that's fucked up no i want you to call her up Are we done with the roleplay though? No, we're not done. No, we're going are we done with?

You're just getting started baby. It's large.
I don't like stereotypes, you know Hi, Bobby.

Hey, Sarah.

How are you?

I'm good.

How are you?

So, you know who Taylor Williamson is I do so we're having him on the pod right now me and Andrew he's on the show right now he's on the show right now so are you so are you so um your wife yes wrote a letter to me claiming that I have a small penis. Tiny peepee.
Tiny peepee. Okay.
So what the fuck is going on around here? She wrote a letter? She dictated it to me. She dictated it to Taylor and says that if – well, tell me exactly what he said.
She said for me to tell Bobby, be nice to Taylor or his dog is going to bite off your tiny pee-pee. It's going to bite off my tiny pee-pee.
Interesting. It's very interesting.
Are you telling your wife that I have a tiny pee-pee? No. No, we've never talked about your genitalia, my love, ever.
Talk about it. Yeah, yeah.
So you've seen my genitalia, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're good.
I'm good. Thank you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Listen, listen, listen. You know, I have complete, we are not, we don't function the same.
That is her own autonomous opinion based on whatever is going on. She told me that story when she got home that she told Taylor to say that to you.

I was like, did you really?

And she's like, yeah.

I was like, okay.

Okay.

Well, you know, she needs consequences.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

She needs consequences or there's going to be a problem between you and I.

There needs to be consequences.

She needs to be reprimanded.

Bobby.

Where's Jen at?

She's not here.

Okay.

I need consequences.

I'll talk to you soon.

All right.

Love you.

I love you.

Bye.

Bye.

Guy puts the hammer down.

That's great.

And I did.

Tico.

Tico back.

By the way, she goes back.

Tico's back.

Tico's back in the scene.

Tico, please tell Bobby

that my dog will also

won't bite a dog.

Anyway, anyway,

we're not talking about Bobby Leanman. What I want to say is we're going to go to your place and we're going to smash.
Sure. Okay.
Yeah. Tico's back in the scene.
Tico, please tell Bobby that my dog will also want bite. Anyway, we're not talking about Bobby Lee.
What I want to say is we're going to go to your place and we're going to smash. Sure.
Okay. Yeah.
Tico. Is this our first date, by the way, Tico? Well, you would know, right? Have I met you before this? Right.
Right. Right.
So then, ding dong, it would be our first fucking date, right? He must be dating a lot of Asian girls. Yeah.
How many fucking... He just looks so much like looks so much anyway anyway we're gonna go to your house and smash okay no condom i can't you can't wear condom i can't do no condom please stop can we get i want to break out a character real quick go ahead yeah why not i if i was a monogamous thing i would be so you how many times have you won a condom? Every time? In my relationship, I have never not.
I mean, at the beginning. I'm not going to have no condom sex with a stranger.
Good for you. I listen to Love Line.
It's great. It's great.
It's great. I didn't have condoms.
Carlos?

Learn.

Have you?

Had sex without a condom with a stranger?

Yeah.

Every time.

Yeah.

I mean, I've gotten STDs with my skin.

Let's go to commercial break.

Oh, my God. It's just like this.

Yeah, yeah.

I've had stuff on my-

What do you mean skin?

My skin, my body.

So you've had STDs.

My trunk.

So you've had sex with a girl

and then you had STDs on your skin?

Yeah.

On your chest?

Yeah, there's like skin stuff

that you can get from towels and stuff.

It's not that exciting.

Are you into sports at all?

As a fan?

Yeah, like are you a fan of sports?

Do you watch sports? My thing is I always like pro wrestling. Nice.
Yeah. So not real? Yeah.
Okay. Well, no, it's like a play.
You like the theatrical? Theater. Yeah.
Yeah. Like, who's your favorite pro wrestler? I mean- There he goes.
I mean, I can't- These are great questions I wasn't prepared for, and they change over the years. You don't meet your heroes.
You meet them, And you're like, well, he's off the list, you know? Yeah. When I was, I don't know, like, Gerald Briscoe.
I've become friends with Gerald Briscoe, who's an amazing, he's like, WWE Hall of Fame. Nice.
Yeah, great. Do you still go to the events? I go less now, but like, I've been spoiled.
You know, we get invited to things. I've been to so many, like.
Yeah, big ones. Yeah.
I went to WrestleMania this year in LA. Oh year in la oh really oh you did i was supposed to start working for fox sports they were gonna i was gonna be like like a daily show correspondent for fox do you go you have a little he-man in your pocket right he's got like a yoda pez dispenser he's just ready he's just ready to go i don't understand do you like boxing i'm not a fan of like these uh i know it's not good for my comedy career, but I'm not a big MMA fan.
No, we're not big MMA guys either. You never said that either.
You guys are on front row. Well, I know people.
We've been to the fights. Yeah, we've been to the fights.
But it's not like we're not big. I'm not a fighter.
You couldn't ask me. I don't know the ins and outs.
I think you could take Edson Barbosa. Thank you.
In a fight. You know, that's the third time I've heard that today.
Okay. I'm going to show you.
There's a new boxing league that I'm really into. I want to show you guys, and I'm going to get your opinion about it.
Okay, go ahead. Because I'm a huge fucking fan.
This is like one of their premier fights that they just had. And you tell me who you think won.
Okay. No.
No. Okay.
Yeah, yeah. Oh.
A couple of points. That's pretty good.

What do you mean?

Whoa, it was starting.

You're both around.

Oh.

So for people that love the show,

they've been asking us for years,

what's Doc up to?

Dude, how crazy is that?

That's a great double punch.

Double punch.

Whoop.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa. Whoa.
Whoa. Whoa.
Whoa.

Whoa.

Yeah.

The black guy hasn't landed a punch.

It's so unfair because the other guy's got like a full upper body.

Yeah.

Oh, there it is.

Oh, there we go.

A little tip tap.

A little tip tap.

Yeah.

Is that a pacifier in his mouth? Yeah. Yeah.
He's just a weirdo baby fighting. No, dude, it's a mouth guard.
Pacifier, you lunatic. All right, he's knocked that guy down no less than 12 times in this clip.
God, it's incredible. It looks legit.
Whoa, whoa. It's like a very...
See, he gets up the same way I do because of my bad back. Like, he can't really bend.
God, he's fucking... God, man.
Killing that guy. But look, he won.
He won. He won.
He won. It's so funny.
He won. Wow.
Yeah. No, we're laughing at the brutalization.
But the other guy laughed after he saw you lost. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Somehow, some piece of me thinks it was a plant. But man, the way he go to the very first second, the way he charges him.
Look at how hard he charges this guy. He could have really fucking hurt him.
Yeah. I mean, man.
Whoa. That's insane.
That's a little much. It's a lot.
Anyway, I'm into this now. Yeah, but it looks like the guy in in the blue though is um a little person from just

from the waist down almost yeah he has like a torso in there well when he was getting born he halfway came out and then his mom sneezed and then i see i see i see how that works That is funny.

It's funny.

It's funny.

30 seconds later,

you visualize. No disrespect to these guys.
We love the hustle, the tenacity. Yeah, it's amazing.
We're not really into any of that. We don't fucking.
He loves soccer. Oh, yeah.
That's his number one football, football, football. And we love soccer in this, because of him.
We support soccer. But you don't like any sports aside from WWE.
I like them. Can I back up with my little cousin? He's 10 years old.
He's being scouted by Elliot. Keep plugging your family, man.
We're buying your mom's art. We got a fucking.
Yeah. I mean, holy shit.
And your son's being. Well, who? Your cousin? Who? My cousin is Elliot Galaxy.
He's like a little soccer prodigy. Wait, and Alex is scouting him? Yeah.
And he's 10? Wow. No, 10? Yeah.
10? Yeah, they know. At 10? Yeah, they don't.
They know at 10. He's gone out to the stadium.
He's white. Yeah.
How old was Messi when we went to Barcelona? How old was Messi when we went to Barcelona? Probably 14, 15. Yeah, but I know that the Arsenal Academy, the team that I like.
13. He was 13.
That's not a stretch. I think the Americans are doing that now.
But he was also doing it. He didn't just show up at 13 and go, can I do it? I know, but I get it.
He had done it for like five years. I get it when it's basketball and football because these guys are just bigger than everybody.
But at 10, you really can't tell who's – they're all the same size.

He's from Argentina too.

Argentina too.

So they had to fly him out.

They're flying him out.

You're living here or staying at the academy, right?

And so he must be killing it at seven, eight years old.

They can tell.

He must be just like murdering everyone around him.

Jackie Chan did that.

His parents sent him away.

What?

Jackie Chan was sent to go be like a martial artist. You think he doesn't know about his own uncle? Relax.
Relax, dude. I know what my uncle did.
What a fucking asshole. Wait, where's Toki? Oh, he wants her back.
Where's Toki? Where'd she go? Oh, Tiki. Tiki.
Is it Tiki? I could say where's Tiki in Japanese. Do you want to hear? No.
Yeah, go ahead. Tiki wa doko desu ka? I am here.
Tiki wa doko desu ka is such a long way of saying where is she. Yeah.
In my special, I have jokes. Is there slang? Yeah.
I never learned. I only learned formal speaking.
Like really do the way you talk to a grandma. How do you talk? You're like that.
How are you? Proper. Wow.
Thank you for asking. I'm having a nice day, you know? Because most guys, if they're with a woman for the first time and she goes, I don't want a condom, I think I would just gamble.
Would you? She's hot. Sure, yeah.
Right? And she's like, yeah, we just don't have one. If it's Toki, then yeah.
Oh, Tiki. Tiki, Toki.
If it's yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then you would.
Then I understand. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Then it kind of makes sense to me. That voice is the voice for me.
Yeah, that's kind of what sells everybody. When this episode comes out, we do want to remind our friends and family, the bad friends people, to go watch Live from the Comedy Store, a Taylor Williamson special.
Yeah, go check it out. Not Taylor Tomlinson.
Respect me. Taylor Williamson.
Don't watch her stuff anymore. That's what Taylor says.
Don't watch her. I've never said that.
Watch me. He, he says that stuff a lot.
She's your arch nemesis. You said, I made a joke.
She's wonderful. Okay.
Are you friends with her? I, I, it doesn't sound like it. We're friendly.
No, you're not. I would love to be friends with her.
When she walks by, you give her a look. No, I give her a little, I give her a hug.
Oh, your, your hug status with her. She's open for me in San Diego.
Wow. It's not a movie.
How does that feel? She's now a talk show host. It's wonderful.
She's so talented. Selling out huge theaters.
I'm on tour, by the way. You want to hear where I'm going? No.
Did you know that she was going to blow up when she opened for you? I mean, it didn't even exist when you were younger, the superstardom she has. Right.
Yeah. I knew she was really special.
I didn't know that she's going to be. Well, we know that you're really special.
Do you want to hear about the cities I'm going to? Okay, go ahead. Just let them do it.
Play music over this. Go ahead.
Yeah? Loud though, so you can barely make out the days and the dates. Oh, thank you.
Calgary, Fort Wayne. Turn the mic off.
That's so good. No, where are you going? Calgary? Stop me anytime.
My website is my calendar. Stop.
Calgary's good. Go to his website.
TaylorWilliamson.com has my calendar. Yeah, go to TaylorWilliamson.com.
They'll find you, baby. I'm touring around America, and I'd love to have people come watch me.
We're going to come watch you. We want our fans to come watch you.
Yeah. What did you just pull up? Was that him? Was that his website? No, it's Bobby.
Man knows his Asian Nazi facing federal charges of illegal gun purchases. I want to bring this up.
What the fuck are you doing, man? You know what, dude? Yeah. We talked about- I stopped.
We had a famous- I quit after that article. No.
Well, it looks like you didn't. You're still on the move.
Yeah. An East Texas man with a penchant for dressing as a Confederate soldier and singing Dixie online now faces multiple charges as related to illegal gun purchases.
I think he's Korean too. He is.
We talked on this show years ago. About him, right? About, wouldn't it be funny about having an Asian Confederate soldier? Yeah.
This guy's it. Wow.
Should we have him on? I think he's amazing. We're going to have him on.
He's whistling Dixie with a Confederate flag and he's staunch. He's veryunch he's very racist yeah all right let me tell you something we've had such a good show with our guest who we love very much yeah bobby uh said to me we gotta get taylor on this show and i said absolutely did you say that i don't think so no let me let me know i's be honest.
No, for being honest, yes, of course I did.

You said, really?

And I go, yeah, don't you think?

And then you said, yeah.

Yeah, I actually, you know what, yeah, he said, I want Taylor on the show.

And I go, really?

And my instinct was, and you'll know why, this is not an insult.

I thought, is he going to be able to handle you to you?

Why me?

You're in trouble.

What are you fucking talking about, dude? Trouble in Little China, is that what you're gonna say you were gonna say that trouble in the china but i did you did but i did say that i was gonna yeah fuck you did i thought because you're a you're a comic you can handle anything i don't i don't i don't try to be dominion of you being able to handle stuff but i thought sometimes bob can be heavy and sometimes guests don't know how to do it. I'm sorry.
We've had guests before that just don't feel comfy because we have fun and go goofy and he goes wild. Yeah.
And then sometimes they're like, I don't even know how to feel. Yeah.
But I thought, nah, Taylor can handle it. He's funny enough and quick enough.
The hair stuff, you're in the pocket. What does that mean? You were like, I'm sticking with my guns.
Well, listen, I'm like I'm a and I love it can I tell you like I'm a fan of both he was stand-ups and I enjoy your show like I look I this show makes me laugh when I watch it you really watch it was up on my YouTube algorithm really I watch clips all the name me a moment Carlos talking about getting milked and in the okay guy watched guy watches the show wow i watch everyone but i watch it and i'm curious i mean also i'm curious how people participate but i get it you have a vibe and some and get the vibe if you go on it don't go on it you're doing i got the vibe you got the vibe i brought by the way i had to come back because i think you can't make a text below i loved it i i thank you yeah you're welcome but you've warned me too you said i don't know if we could handle it and I loved it. Thank you.
Yeah, you're welcome. But you've warned me too.

You said, I don't know if you can handle it and I prepared myself to handle it.

Yeah, you did.

And I brought too much ammo, by the way,

so you got to have me back

because I have this two truths and a lie thing

that would be so much joy for all of you.

I know.

We will do that when you come back.

And when you do come back,

we'll have Chick-fil-A for you.

How's that sound, kiddo?

Huh?

Does daddy make you happy now?

Dada?

Thank you for being a bad friend.