Just Date Me, Please!

1h 16m
22:17 New Merch: https://www.badfriendsmerch.com
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0:00 We Have New Merch
0:43 Burgers Without Fries
7:42 Stepping On My Dog in the Middle of the Night
16:31 Barney's Beanery & The Mandela Effect
22:17 Dating Mrs. Potato Head
31:00 Bobby Gets No Respect at the Comedy Store
40:46 A Phone Call with Legendary Michael Winslow
49:11 Cultures That Don't Mix Well
51:16 Gospel Singer Bobby Storm Gets in Trouble for Singing
1:00:10 Bobby's Love Life Update

More Bobby Lee
TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly
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More Andrew Santino
Whiskey Ginger:
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Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com

More Juicy
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en

More Fancy
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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1

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Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday
Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom
Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles
Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart

Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.net/
Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende

This episode contains paid promotion.
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Press play and read along

Runtime: 1h 16m

Transcript

Speaker 1 Merch! You got merch and check this hat out. I've been wearing it on stage.
Have you seen me? Look at this, dude. Look at this shirt.
This is the OG shirt. The OG design OG design is back.
Yep.

Speaker 1 And also, bad friends on the back. In the back.
The cute little faces on the front. Bad friends on the back.
Go to bad friendsmerch.com.

Speaker 1 We also have coffee mugs for people that like coffee and beautiful beanies in a couple different colors. But go get some OG merch.
We're releasing new stuff as we go.

Speaker 1 Bob and I are in a competition to see who can design the best shirt. But for now, you want the OG original stuff.
Happy holidays. Happy holidays.
Get this for someone that you love.

Speaker 1 Go to badfriendsmerch.com, badfriendsmerch.com. You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 We're bad friends.

Speaker 1 We walked in the studio. There we go.
We did a couple spots. Bob and I did a back-to-back spot at the store.

Speaker 1 And then we walked in the studio and McCone tried to make up for all his blunders by getting Bobby in and out. That's very nice.
But what did you forget? And what did you forget, McCone? Fries.

Speaker 1 Yeah, French fries.

Speaker 1 The quintessential pairings. The quintessential prairings.
The quintessential pairings, I guess. Yeah.

Speaker 1 A burger and fries.

Speaker 1 Peanut butter and jelly, right? Yeah. Yeah.
What don't you understand about that?

Speaker 1 I don't think I've ever gotten a cheeseburger without fries. Freddy, AIDS.
Freddy Mercury. Freddy Mercury and AIDS.
These two things go hand in hand.

Speaker 1 Magic Johnson, AIDS.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Easy E, AIDS.

Speaker 2 Next time I'm in an In-N Out, I'll think about easy E and AIDS.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. Next time you're in the order and they say, Welcome to In-N-Out, how can I help you? What would you like?

Speaker 2 Some AIDS.

Speaker 1 Welcome to In-N-Out. How can I help you? What would you like? A double-double with regular onions and fries and a Coke.

Speaker 2 Diet Coke, please.

Speaker 1 Okay, a double double with AIDS coming right up. Window two.
See, they'll know. They'll know.
They'll automatically know.

Speaker 1 And I'm not making fun of people with that disease. It's terrible.
No, we're we're saying the two things that go together. Yeah, they do come to go together, but it's a terrible disease.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 a burger was a very nice gesture.

Speaker 1 Thank you. But a burger without fries seems worthless to me.
But did you see what I did?

Speaker 1 You call me, I'm just leaving the store. I said I was at 7-Eleven.
You go, get me some snacks. Get me some snacks.
What I do? Well, I said, please. What'd I do, though?

Speaker 1 You got me seven different things to choose from. See, that's how you do it.
That's what friendship is. That's what love is.
That's what family is. And you don't do that.
You You don't complete it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like when I play a video game, I need to complete all the objectives.
Yeah. You know what I mean? And here's another thing.
Hi, guy. Hi, guy.
Me? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're ripped. You're ripped.
You're shredded out of your mindstone.

Speaker 4 I told you it's later in the evening.

Speaker 1 I'm going to start drug testing on this show. Yeah, yeah.
The employees on the show are going to go into rigorous drug tests. I'm not getting it.
You're so high right now. I'm not so high.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you've seen your eyes. Get on Amazon right now and order drug tests for the crew because I want to start drug testing everybody.
Yeah. This is a sober show.
Bobby is sober.

Speaker 1 He's going through the program.

Speaker 1 Show up here on drugs and alcohol. Lacone said, I'm joking.
Whenever I look at you, I get uncomfortable. Look at him.
He's itching. He's itching right now.
I want marijuana, too.

Speaker 1 No, Bob.

Speaker 4 He's given me marijuana before.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because we get him for free at comedy shows. He gives you what we get.
When? Hawaii. Was I high?

Speaker 1 Yeah. When I was high.
Yeah, when you were relapsing. Yeah.
That doesn't count. We were in Hawaii together?

Speaker 4 Yeah, bro.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was. Wait, wait, wait.
Why? We did a show.

Speaker 1 No, we didn't do a show in hawaii no what you mean mexico no i was in hawaii with him with trash suesa oh oh you were yeah and you were filming something and so you were there too and yeah it was chaos but do we get high together oh yeah fun yeah it was fun no hey hey no yes bad Carlos, bring me back to home.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 4 No, I won't. I won't.
Andrew gets too mad. And these drug tests are pretty reasonably priced, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, I want the whole crew drug tested. And Fancy, I want you to drug test as well.
You're not exempt from this because I don't know what you're up to if you're using.

Speaker 1 He seems like he could be using.

Speaker 1 And Carlos, meanwhile, what did McCone say? You were drinking in the car before you came in.

Speaker 4 The Topo Chico margaritas are good.

Speaker 1 McCone, go get a Bud Light out of the fridge. He has to drink one on the air now.
Hell yeah. Don't drink that on camera, okay? You pig.
Just do that like the sad pig you are. Hide it behind the wall.

Speaker 4 It's the gay drink, right?

Speaker 1 It's well, they're trans drink. Yeah, the Bud Light supports trans rights.
Yeah, let me ask you a question, Andrew. My best friend.
Yeah, baby.

Speaker 1 Why is it that you can't mix foods? Who are you talking about?

Speaker 1 What do you mean? What do you mean? I can mix foods. No, no, but think about what I'm saying.
You can't, different lands, right? You can't at a restaurant get a California roll. Did you give him weed?

Speaker 1 I promise I did. Beef stroganoff.
I'm trying to tap into it. No, you can do that.
It's at a buffet.

Speaker 1 California roll, beef stroganoff. At a buffet.
Have you ever been to a buffet? They have all that stuff. They have pizza, spaghetti.
Baja baja fish taco.

Speaker 1 Go to any when we're in Vegas, you can get all that at one.

Speaker 1 We'll go to the famous. You shouldn't do it.
No, yes, you should. Why? Because that's what makes America great.
Oh, that's true. That's what Donald Trump was talking about.
Right. Can you get a torch?

Speaker 1 I want to,

Speaker 1 I want a torch. Tiki torch? I want a tiki torch, and I want to be able to like wear not a red, like a red hat, but without anything on it.
Just a white hat. No, red hat.
Like a red baseball hat.

Speaker 1 They're just going to wear a white hat. Like a pointy white hat?

Speaker 1 Well, I want that at night.

Speaker 1 Yeah, with the the torch yeah at night but during the day wear the red hat right with nothing on it nothing on it and let them infer right I think you can mix mixed foods but honestly do you even like it what do you want to you want to get a California roll and then have spaghetti yeah I mean I've never had a California roll with beef stroganoff before is this something that you want well I just in my mind I'm like there's no way that's good I don't know I kind of think that might be really good but with the Baja Fitz taco too I mean what's wrong with it I just don't get it I just don't see what's what's bad about this.

Speaker 1 An epanata.

Speaker 1 Again, these are all home runs. All right, okay.
I don't hear any flaws in this. Okay, what about this? If I take a California roll, got it.
I take a bowl and I stir it. Like you mash it? I mash it.

Speaker 1 Got it. Then I put beef stroganoff in.
Stir it.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 Steel-cut oatmeal. Why? Stir it.

Speaker 1 What do you mean, why? Why not? Is what I think.

Speaker 1 Why not?

Speaker 1 I mean, you're Irish, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, is that our thing? Well, I mean, I put in my California roll. You need to cut up some potatoes.
Put some potatoes. The potatoes in there.

Speaker 1 You stir it, right? Right. And then what else would you put in there?

Speaker 1 I think you'll have enough.

Speaker 1 You think so? No, I think you put an entire packet of American cheese. That's right.
On top. Slices.
Singles. Craft powder.
The craft powder. Ooh.

Speaker 1 Right. Macaroni and cheese.
Mac and cheese powder. Yeah.
You pour that in there, right? You mix it. Then you bake it.
Yeah. 350 in the oven, right? And you bake it for two hours.
That's so long.

Speaker 1 Two hours? Yeah. All right.
Or no, hour. What's long? I never baked it.
30 minutes. Our 30 minutes baking.
400. Could you put flour in there? Just a just like a rose?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can.
Yeah, like a dandelion. A begonia? A begonia, yeah.
You throw that in there. No, I put flour, like the wheat flour, the bread flour.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 Why? Why? Could you make a bread out of it? Not if you just put flour in it. That's not going to do anything.
Oh, how do you make bread? We need flour. Water.
Let me guess. Water,

Speaker 1 flour,

Speaker 1 egg, butter, yeast, yeast, yeast, yeast, yeast, let it rise. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 We'll get Tom Pop on the show, he'll teach us how to make bread. Oh, really? You know what I did in the middle of the night that I have to admit and I feel very bad about?

Speaker 1 I stepped on my dog going a piss in the middle of the night. No, you know that sound that they make when you step on it? It's different.
Yeah, it's different. There's a different sound that they emit.

Speaker 1 It's like inside their computer, deep inside of the algorithm. And when you step on it, it's like

Speaker 1 they've never made that sound before. I've stepped on Jewish, a Jewish person before.
What do they say?

Speaker 1 Same thing. Same thing.
Yeah, yeah. You just stepped on? I stepped on one.
Yeah. Wow.
Oi Vey. Oh, yeah.
That's my Jewish dog. Oi Vey.
But so you stepped on your dog. Your dog's so cute.
He's a poodle.

Speaker 1 I feel so bad. She was under.
See, what happens is she does this. I don't know if your dog does this, but she goes on and off the bed during the course of the night.

Speaker 1 Like sometimes if she's too warm, she'll jump down off of the bed and then she sleeps under the bench. She gets cold, she wants to come back up on the bed again.

Speaker 1 Well, last night, she must have jumped off off before I passed out because I didn't know. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And my fat ass rolled out of bed and I took a big thud onto the ground and I stepped on the back of her legs and her butt.

Speaker 1 I mean, hard. And did it wake your wife up? Yeah.
Freaked out. Well, because the dog went,

Speaker 1 it did that thing. And did he walk out of the room? No, she panicked.
She started moving around the room like crazy. And I was trying to hold her to see if she was in pain.

Speaker 1 And I picked her up and I was holding her and I just started peeing. I went pissed.
I had to piss. You pissed while you were holding the dog? Well, I was comforting her, but I had to piss.

Speaker 1 What am am I going to do? Not piss? I got to comfort the dog. Has your dog seen your penis? Seen it?

Speaker 1 Seen it?

Speaker 1 How else did you adopt the dog? That's how you let him know who you are. Oh, that's right.
I don't know. Peanut butter, baby.
Peanut butter. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was holding the poor girl, and I'm peeing. Yeah.
And she was like whimpering and shaking. I felt so bad.
It felt so bad. I know, so we killed her.
We had to get rid of her. That's it.

Speaker 1 Bojo, my cat, my middle cat. Yeah.
No, the youngest cat. Bojo's the youngest.
He's fat. He's overweight.
I wouldn't say he's fat. Yeah, he's overweight.
That's a mean word. He's overweight.

Speaker 1 You know, sometimes I'll look at him and on my bed, when he's on my bed, he'll go, meow,

Speaker 1 and like spread his legs like this. He goes, meow.
Just to show you his goods. No.
He doesn't. He wants belly rubs.
Oh, yeah,

Speaker 1 bellies. That's what we say.
But it's not.

Speaker 1 He's not belly. He wants his popito rub.
No, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know, dude. Poqueño touch.
I don't know. But I swear to God, he goes,

Speaker 1 right, like this, right? And okay, Bojo. And I'll start doing the belly.
And he'll go,

Speaker 1 oh, down. He wants it.
Yeah, yeah. He'll go,

Speaker 1 right? And I'll go, no, no, Bojo. You know, the next time you are on a date with a girl, I want you to just, at dinner, just go,

Speaker 3 you think so? Yeah, see what she'll do.

Speaker 1 Like this. See if she'll rub in the middle of it.
Right. You and I are on a date right now.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Thank you for taking me to Cheesecake Factory. This is rad.
I've never been here. You have to match your.

Speaker 1 You're welcome. I like the.
What? That's not you?

Speaker 1 I'm the lady. I know, but your voice, I just felt like I had to match it.
No, it's you. Oh, you're welcome.
I like that. You're just you.
Oh, okay. I'm sorry.
I really like this restaurant.

Speaker 1 This is great. Thanks for taking me here.
Oh, you're welcome.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Who are you now? Me. Okay, great.
That's how I am. She's black, right? What are you doing? I'm black.
I thought the character was black. I was doing my own thing.
Oh, you're right. Okay, perfect.

Speaker 1 You're welcome. So,

Speaker 1 I know we matched on Raya. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I want to tell you, a lot of girls online, they're not into first aid hookups. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I am.

Speaker 1 I'm a first aid hookup type of girl meow

Speaker 1 meow

Speaker 1 oh wow oh no no

Speaker 1 there it is that got me going yeah yeah yeah that got it that would get me better oh yeah okay sorry my bad i want you to meow the next time you take someone on a date just do that lift up your if it's not going well if it's not going well well just let it bomb anyway what's the difference Okay, well, I want to see what the okay, let's say that we're having a conversation that's uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 You know, sometimes the date's not going well, and you go,

Speaker 1 and I, and you kind of know, oh, this is not, I'm not going to hook up with this girl that's going to be bad. You're ready to just bail.
Yeah, so let's, all right. So we're in middle conversation.

Speaker 1 Okay, here it is. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I just think, I don't know.
I disagree with you. I think, I think reparations are in order, and I think we should be giving everybody money.

Speaker 1 I think we should be giving every black individual in the United States money. I don't know why you're not.
I mean,

Speaker 1 we'd have to give the natives money, and then we'd have to give everyone money. And we should, and we should give more and more and more.

Speaker 1 The hardworking taxpayers money. They should all go to every minority.
No, but what about infrastructure? What do we need for that? The roads will. What do we need that for?

Speaker 1 Can we get out of here? Really? See how fast that switched? Wow. She was so politically charged until you finally meowed at her.
Yeah. That's all she needs.
Wow. I did not know.

Speaker 1 That is a panty dropper. Meow.
Meow. Panty dropper, kiddo.
Anyway, Bojo.

Speaker 1 What did Bojo do? You rubbed him? No, I rubbed his belly, and then

Speaker 1 every time I'll do a wider, I'll do a wider rub.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Like one of those like, you know, wax on, wax off, you know, karate kid rub. Little Miyagi stuff.
Yeah, so I go wide and it goes toward his area. Right.
And he goes,

Speaker 1 he gets a little bit more loves it. Yeah.
So I don't know, man. I know, man.
What do you know? It's wrong. I think you've trained him to do that.
No, that's not true. That's not true.

Speaker 1 That's out of pocket. It sounds like.
I did not train.

Speaker 1 It sounds like you started it. You started it.
He wouldn't know that if you didn't start it. You did it one time.
He liked it. You kept going back.
No, he's well. He's pee pee.

Speaker 1 He's poqueño.

Speaker 1 But a cat's pee-pee.

Speaker 1 What are you doing? What are you Googling?

Speaker 4 Can you sexually arouse the cat?

Speaker 1 Yeah, male cats can be sensitive to testicle stimulation. Oh, sorry.
Tactile.

Speaker 1 Some finish off the arousal reaction by biting or clawing. Does he bite you and claw you when you're rubbing his belly?

Speaker 1 Does he bite you and claw you? Your honor. I will interview the the way it.
Does he bite you and claw you? Your Honor, it's a nibble. It's not a bite.

Speaker 1 But does his hands go down there and he bites and nibbles? It's a high five. Yeah.
Not a claw. Good work, is what he's saying.
He's going, thank you.

Speaker 1 I'm telling you. High five.
This can get reported. I didn't do anything.
What is it, the ASPCA or whatever? I didn't do anything. Straight up.

Speaker 1 Well, no, no, we can't say that word. You can't say that word, dude.
What the fuck are you doing, dude? He's stoned, Andrea.

Speaker 1 Zoophilia. Zoofilia.
Oh, shit. No, you can't say that.
I can't say that either, I'm sure.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying. So, anyway, going back to your dog, is your dog okay?

Speaker 1 Well, I'm certainly not going to pet her puss. I didn't say that.

Speaker 1 I didn't say that. That's exactly what you said.
I didn't say that. You said you had a wide berth and then you accidentally rubbed on his picang.
No, I'm just going, you know, wax on. Anyway, okay.

Speaker 1 No, I would not. I rub her belly and I stay, and I stay high and up by her neck and her little belly.
Yeah. But she's going to be fine.
We'll find out. Let me ask you this.
She's got trauma for sure.

Speaker 1 I can ask you this, though.

Speaker 1 What if, like, the little prince, right? Little LP? I had a little wand. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I did, your dog turned into a human. She's female, right? She's a girl, yeah.
She looked like Margo Robbie. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Right. So I go.
Like, you know, the little prince, don't they do that? Little frog turning into the prince? Yeah, they do. I turn your dog into Margot Robbie.
Yeah, amazing. Right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're going to raise her as your dog? Nothing would change.

Speaker 1 I'd make her get on all fours. I'd put on a leash on her and I'd walk her around.
I'd take her for walks in the morning. Really? Yeah, well, she's my dog.
And you wouldn't do belly rubs.

Speaker 1 Like a long belly. I would absolutely be rubbing.
You wouldn't do long belly rubs. You would would do belly rubs,

Speaker 1 the long kind.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? I would take her for long walks. I would clean up her poop.
But you know, be weird, though, they probably don't know English, they probably stole a dog, right? So, you still,

Speaker 1 you know, no, dogs know English, dogs know the language in which you speak to them. You go to Mexico, they speak Spanish.
Oh, really? What does a Mexican dog sound like?

Speaker 1 Bark, bark.

Speaker 1 You know what to do? You're right. Bow wow.
Bow wow. Hey, man, bow wow.

Speaker 1 What do they sound like in China? Help! Help! Help!

Speaker 1 That's mean. Oh, cut it out.
Why? What does a dog sound like in China?

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 First of all, that's Japanese. Chinjink!

Speaker 1 Okay, dude. You can't do that? Why can't you do that? Chinjink! Yeah.
Yeah. You're saying Chinchin.
I think Chinchin, yeah. Good restaurant, by the way.
You like Chinchin? Love. I love Chinchin.

Speaker 1 Chinchin is a clean restaurant. The food is so clean.
Chin Chin is like the McDonald's of Chinese food. Like, it's consistent.
It always has the same thing. Right.
You know what you're getting. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's the old school, it's the simple menu, right? And it used to be when we were broke, that used to be the place. We're like, oh man, in two weeks, I get to go to Chinchen.

Speaker 1 Well, that was like high-end. That was super.
That was like a fancy

Speaker 1 bus. Yeah, if I could go to Chinchen on sunset, that was a fancy Chinese night out.
Yeah. What's a fancy night out for you, McCone, right now?

Speaker 1 Now that you're making a couple bucks, we've got you hired.

Speaker 1 Are you treating yourself?

Speaker 2 I went to Barney's the other night.

Speaker 1 The bar? Barney's Beanery? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Not the department store.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he can't do that.

Speaker 1 I don't. The one on Santa Monica.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the one on Santa Monica.

Speaker 1 You want to know the irony about that place? I've been going to that place for years. Me too.
I used to love going there. Me too.
Barney's is in the heart of West Hollywood.

Speaker 1 For people that don't know, West Hollywood is the predominant gay neighborhood in Los Angeles. It is the mecca of gay.
It's where the gay parade is, right?

Speaker 1 Barney's in its origination was owned by this old decrepit guy that hated gay people moving into the neighborhood. So on the roof, look it up.

Speaker 1 Look at what he used to say on the roof of Barney's Beanery. Oh, no.
Look at what he used to say. This is real.
This is a factual thing from the history of Barney's Beanery. He painted on the rooftop.

Speaker 1 Carlos is so high, you can't even do Barney.

Speaker 1 I'm typing this correctly. Picture of Gay Slur on Barney's Beanery roof, I guess.
I mean, there were pictures all over the internet at one point. I was hit on it.
Where is it? Am I crazy?

Speaker 1 Is this one of those, what do you call thems,

Speaker 1 Mandela effect where we know it said something on the roof? I think it's a Mandela effect. No, no, no.
Look at that.

Speaker 3 Look at the fact.

Speaker 4 I always thought it was this one, Andrew, honestly.

Speaker 1 Maybe that is it.

Speaker 4 That's the famous Barney's.

Speaker 1 This is crazy. Am I losing my mind that it used to be? I've never heard that.
I never heard that. Well, you just saw the article about it, so it is true.

Speaker 1 I've sucked three dicks in Barney's Banery. I just...
No, so can I ask you about Barney's? Yeah. Back in the day, there were a lot of chicks.
There were a lot of chicks. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I usually go out on the east side. And it's more like a hipster vibe over by where I live in Echo Park and Silver Lake.

Speaker 2 I don't really go out in Weehoe that much, but everyone there is like, it's like aggressive. They're like really hot, but like pretentious, and they kind of look like Nepo babies.

Speaker 1 Nepo babies. Nepo babies.
Something you wish you were.

Speaker 1 You're just a bum from Minnesota. You got no connections in this business.

Speaker 2 But it was kind of funny because like with this,

Speaker 3 it felt like I had like a suicide vest on.

Speaker 1 Be honest, have you gotten laid?

Speaker 1 Since? Yeah. No.
Since you've shaved your head like this? No. Do you think this is a deterrent? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Not helping.

Speaker 4 He showed me a video of this really hot girl that apparently he soaked up with. And then he takes off his hat and it's like a reveal video.
And the girl's like freaked out.

Speaker 4 And it's kind of offensive to me because that's what I like really just look like.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what you look like all the time. That's why he did it as a bit.
Now, what's the goal with this? Are we going to keep shaving your head? How are we going to get through this?

Speaker 2 No, I think I'm going to mullet it. Once it grows.
My hair is I'm just going to look weird for like a few months.

Speaker 1 Why don't you shave the whole thing and then start from the beginning? I like that. You are balding, though, aren't you? When I have this,

Speaker 2 it's like nothing has changed.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, this looks... Yeah, but then you take your hat off when you get a girl to your apartment and she's going to be bummed.
Unless you keep your hat on the whole time that you're hooking up.

Speaker 2 Hat stays on.

Speaker 1 So did you say that to her? Hat stays on. Hat stays on.
I can imagine that could you think that would work if you could get butt naked, just leave the hat on?

Speaker 4 It doesn't work. You've tried? I've tried.
It doesn't work.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we should ask the resident bald guy.

Speaker 4 guy yeah i've tried it doesn't work it's not cool to do you just got to like be up front you got to post pictures of yourself looking the way you are on your you've tried to okay so back in the beginning when you were going bald like this you'd get a girl to hang out with you and you would try to keep the hat on the whole time did any of them say take it off When they do ask to take it off, I will take it off, but sometimes they don't.

Speaker 1 What's the response if you take it off? Have you ever had a girl you take it off and she goes, I got to get out of here? No, never. Never.

Speaker 4 Never.

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Speaker 1 it's like if you were a girl with a girl and she goes excuse me I gotta take something she took her legs off gotta go sorry gotta go no

Speaker 1 You're already in the bed, dude.

Speaker 1 Both legs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're already in the bed.
bed excuse me one second yeah yeah what is she misses potato head she's just taking off portions of her body no i'd love to know

Speaker 1 you know what i do that's what a nice guy i am at the after we make love you'd want to know i take the i take the prosthetics and i put the vaseline in to put it back on their legs the funny thing you think they use vaseline to put it back on how do they how do they get on well they're they're a lot of it depends but a lot of them link in they like it snaps in into their skin they need vaseline in their skin

Speaker 1 yeah yeah they have hooks in their skin just just hanging out, just like fishing hooks. Anyway, you would not, you're a liar.
And I also would carry them.

Speaker 1 Well, like I said, like they, like, we and play We Are the Champions by Queen after you had sex. Yeah, just parade her around.
Yeah, hooray! You know, you be honest.

Speaker 1 If you got home to a girl that you're dating and she just

Speaker 1 takes them both off, you're not going to react any type of way. I'm not saying you kick her out of bed, but you're not going to go, oh, shit, I didn't know you didn't have fishing.

Speaker 1 No, I would use my acting skills. Do them right now.
And I would go pretend like it's not happening.

Speaker 1 Or pretend like it's not. She's not taking off limbs.
Yes, or do it.

Speaker 1 I've had such a good night. Me too.
I'm feeling frisky. I feel frisky, too.
Well.

Speaker 1 Oh, it feels so much better.

Speaker 1 Look.

Speaker 1 Oh, look at the. Oh, when I rub my nubs, it feels so good after a long day.
Are you thirsty? Sometimes I hit my nuts. Look at this.
There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

Speaker 1 Are you thirsty? I hit my nubs together. Will you get some lotion and rub up my nubs, please?

Speaker 1 Have you ever licked a nub in bed?

Speaker 1 Ooh. You want to see? You're right.
You're right. It would never work.

Speaker 1 If they did it that way, they got to say something about it.

Speaker 1 They're going to say something.

Speaker 1 They have two fucking legs missing. They're going to say a joke or they're going to be self-aware.
Yeah, yeah. They have to.
Carlos makes a joke. When he takes his hat off, he makes a joke.

Speaker 4 I always go, oh, I have crazy hair. And they go, but they always go, I know, because every girl nowadays Googles you before you go out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but but you, especially because you have a little bit of public recognition now. But before that, you would make jokes about it.

Speaker 1 Oh my god, you he would say, You told me one time, you go, Oh, I'm having a bad hair day, and he would take his hat off, and the girls like it. Yeah, that's a killer line.
I'm having a bad hair day.

Speaker 1 You know, it's worse than no legs having a prosthetic vagina.

Speaker 1 Who has those? I don't know if they're right,

Speaker 1 and then boom, boom.

Speaker 1 That would be a bummer. Can you hold this?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'd grab the thing and just start fucking tears.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Prosthetic, any prosthetic.
You're right, you're right. You're absolutely it.
What if eyeball? Like one eyeball. Just

Speaker 1 comes right out. Yeah.
That would be a funny. I would ask if I could use it.
Oh, you do?

Speaker 1 What? I'd be like, oh, there's another hole. Oh, right, right.

Speaker 1 There's one more hole.

Speaker 1 I see, I see. I mean, imagine, though, if she did take her eyeball out.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What if she took her eyeball out and she was like, let's use this

Speaker 1 for foreplay? A bead?

Speaker 1 Yeah, one bead.

Speaker 1 Well, it's not her eyeball. Yeah, it's a bead.

Speaker 1 But it's fake. Yeah, it's not a real eyeball.
It's just a marble or a glass. What are they made of? Glass? So the ball goes out.
Glass eyes. The ball goes in my hole.
Of course it does.

Speaker 1 But guess what? What? It comes out of your mouth.

Speaker 1 Goes in your butt and you go, ooh, ta-da!

Speaker 1 Yeah. Wow.
What are they made of? Glass? What if most fake eyes made out of? Glass eye were really made of glass. Then now they're made of hard plastic acrylic.
Of course, that makes sense.

Speaker 1 The glass would be so much more dope to have a glass eyeball. But I bet you it's just too expensive.
How much is it? I want to know, like, if I want to buy one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's order a couple of glass eyes to the studio. No, but I want to see like how high-end it goes.

Speaker 1 Holy shit, $8,000. A cheap one's $2,500.
I bet you I can get you one on the east side of LA for like $40.

Speaker 1 I bet you my life, I can go get you one for $40.

Speaker 1 Like it's made out of wood? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Human-style eye.

Speaker 1 Used. It says used on Etsy.
20 bucks. Oh, 20 bucks used.
That's fine. Hand blown glass eye.
See, I'm sure people get them for cheap, but you could get a dope one for $8,300. Okay.

Speaker 1 Bob, let me see what $8,300

Speaker 1 eye is.

Speaker 4 They last 10 years, too.

Speaker 1 That's long enough. Bob, can you think about that? If you lost an eye,

Speaker 1 how dope would you customize your eye? Oh, my God. I was like pterodactyl eyes.
He's so cool. I would have eyes that are like so

Speaker 1 otherworldly. Yeah, I'd want something.
Oh, look at that guy up top. Look at the first picture up top.
That guy third in. That's cool.
See,

Speaker 1 if you lose an eye, you got to walk into the forest. Oh, you know what I would do? Cyclops.
That's the way. Or I would do one Marty Feldman eye.

Speaker 1 What? Marty Feldman? Yeah, what do you mean? Look at his eyes. I would do one gigantic eye.

Speaker 1 Just a huge eye like that? Yeah. But it's always looking the wrong way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would put a gigantic Marty Feldman eye.
Imagine having a conversation with that guy.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 imagine if you come over to his house and you work for, like, the gas company.

Speaker 1 You know, when he has to do, like, mundane stuff? Yeah. He looks cool in that photo.
I think when he bulges his eyes out, like, that's weird.

Speaker 1 Well, that's his thing. When does he not bulge his eyes? That's what he looks like in the middle of the day.
Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I like it. This dog's looking over there.
That dog's looking over there.

Speaker 1 But he was such a great actor.

Speaker 1 I don't know what he was in other than knowing he was in Dr. John Frankenstein.
Yeah. But what else? I don't know.
Okay, so yeah, that's it. But he was great in that.
Okay, fine.

Speaker 1 They needed a guy who could look both ways at the same time.

Speaker 1 What has he done, Marty Feldman?

Speaker 1 He should have been a crossing guard at one point in his life. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He should be in all eye movies.

Speaker 1 Hills have eyes. Yeah, Marty has eyes.

Speaker 1 Eyes White Shots. Eyes White White Show.
Marty Eyes White Shots. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 He did a lot of stuff, obviously, but the one thing that took off, clearly, was Young Frankenstein. That's the only thing he really was going to pop from.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's so. Anybody listening to,

Speaker 1 if you've never seen that movie, you're dumb. Young Young Frankenstein.
One of the funniest movies.

Speaker 1 You got to see it. Classic, right? Andreas, can you back me up on that? Awesome movie.
Yeah, yeah. It is very, very funny.
That is one of those. What would you say?

Speaker 1 That 70s, 80s, the iconic, 70s, iconic comedy movies that you have to watch. Well, I would say, if you're a comedy fan and you're young now, you probably don't know Monty Python.

Speaker 1 And I would highly suggest watching Monty Python. I would say Sleeper.
Sleeper. Woody Allen Sleeper.
Yeah, Sleeper. I would do

Speaker 1 Mel Brooks. Mel Brooks.
Anything Mel Brooks really did. Blazing Saddles.

Speaker 1 But I would also say, probably go back and watch

Speaker 1 old school shit.

Speaker 1 I would say look up Chaplin stuff because you want to talk about the original shit. That dude was the original shape.
You don't watch Chaplin. What do you mean? I don't.

Speaker 1 I'm not popping it in now, but I have seen it. That's funny.
What is it? So funny. No, dude, it's so funny.
It's not funny. Yes, I swear to God, it is.
I promise you it is.

Speaker 1 You're doing it right now. Yeah.
Is that funny? Yeah. By the way, how literal.
You'd have been Charlie Charlie Chaplin.

Speaker 1 Just be in the jungle. They're shooting at me.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. That's a great movie.
Charlie Charlie Chaplin.

Speaker 1 That would be great. Yeah.
No, I really do. I mean, in the history of time, when I've watched these old movies, you go, I get where comedy now

Speaker 1 brews from. Yeah, yeah.
Like, you don't watch it again, but you go, oh, my God, God, that's where so-and-so gets the way he falls. The way Farley falls, right?

Speaker 1 The way Farley did Pratt falls, that was indicative of so many other big fucking, what's his name, Buster Keaton? Huh? Buster Keaton. Well, Buster Keaton, for sure.
Fatty Arbuckle. Right?

Speaker 1 It's like all these guys that were like overweight that did physical comedy.

Speaker 1 You saw it again and again and again in our new guy. I mean, we do it.
We steal from

Speaker 1 whatever comedy from our history and our childhood was in our mind, the way our brains and our faces work. Yeah.
Who was a comic when you were a kid that you try to emulate?

Speaker 1 Or an actor that you would do his motions?

Speaker 1 Nobody. You never saw a guy and you tried to...
Like, obviously, for me, I would scream like Sam Kinnison in the bathroom, but that's it. No, that's, see, that's a big thing.
Because that does help.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I would say. That's what you do on stage sometimes.
Yeah, yeah. Without you know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm very influenced by him.
Mine was always, I mean, Jim was everything Jim did, I wanted to mock. Let me ask you something.

Speaker 1 And this is going to be a weird question to ask ask you, okay? Yeah. So, when we were, when I was a kid in stand-up, I would, because I never did the main room back then, right?

Speaker 1 And you see all the comics back there, like, you know, and I'd go, and I would look up to them, and I'd go, wow, they're cool, this and that.

Speaker 1 But when we're back there, it doesn't feel like we're cool. No, they don't like us.

Speaker 1 So, has it changed? No, that's not true. I'm sure that I'm sure that younger comics.
I mean, people look at the girl like, oh, there's Instagram Tino Bobby Lee or whatever.

Speaker 1 Some comics, I mean, I'm sure not all of them like all of us.

Speaker 1 Because my argument is this, and this is what, and I'm not going to call out names,

Speaker 1 but here we go.

Speaker 1 The doormen at the comedy store sometimes feel too comfortable. Oh, wow.
They talk to me as if, why are you laughing, McCone?

Speaker 2 Because I've seen it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. They talk to me as if they're headliners, too.
Like, you know. Why don't you say something to them then? I try, but it's like, I go,

Speaker 1 you're acting like you're a headliner. And no offense, I've had your job, but it's like, you know, you give me a noogie.

Speaker 1 They're grabbing you? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Really? Oh, yeah, push me around. I've never seen this.
Yeah, McCode has.

Speaker 2 They don't do it in front of you. They do it in front of me, though.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They would not do that in front of me. And I'm like, I would not have to.
Wait a second. I'm.

Speaker 1 What happened to the rules? We got to fight back then. What do I do? Punch pam? Punch back? Well, you can't punch.
Spit? Lick. Oh, lick.

Speaker 1 I do too much of that. I think that's what it is, too.
Right, so you play with them too much, so they think it's comfortable. Well, there's some like,

Speaker 1 yeah, okay. Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. Like Chappelle Lacey.
What do you do to Chappelle? Well, the other day he walked by me and he crushed his fingers against my neck.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine? He would fucking murder you. That dude is so strong.
I know. He would fucking break you.
But he goes, but when he's like playing with me, he pretends I'm like a baby chimp.

Speaker 1 To him you are i know you're just so you can see him like kind of letting me

Speaker 1 dude he could crack you i know

Speaker 1 like a little fortune cookie just right in the middle what can't just be like an oatmeal cookie just a little fortune cookie i can't be a peanut butter cookie no because like just like a fortune cookie all right you're filled with wisdom that's right see yeah but so i him and i stopped doing to ian edwards well he doesn't like to be fucked with you don't touch ian ian's very i did it for 20 years yeah it's not a good idea yeah he's still not over it it's weird i just like i'll tackle him from behind and Come on, fam.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but with the young guys there, they just, they don't have the same respect. I don't know if this is true, but to you, to you and Sebastian, I see how they treat you guys.

Speaker 1 They look at you like this. No, that's not.
I see it. I've seen it.

Speaker 1 The other day, I swear to God, they were like, look at you like this. Like, everything you say is wisdom.
With me, they're like. Well, what are you going to do?

Speaker 1 But they push me around and stuff. And they're like.
Well, that's the end of it tonight. We're not putting up with any of that anymore.
No more.

Speaker 1 And I would call out names. We'll do it.
But I will not. Oh.

Speaker 1 I will not because I want to give everyone a shot.

Speaker 1 But it's like, I've noticed that. And you know, I'm glad, McCollum, that you've seen it.

Speaker 1 He's seen it. I know.
He's hanging around the store a little bit too much. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it does bother me. And he's chumming it up with what's her name the other night.
Who? Curly-haired girl.

Speaker 1 Angie? Angie. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's buddying up way too close to her.

Speaker 4 Oh, the girl you hung out with instead of him that one night?

Speaker 1 What does that mean? What are you implying? Hi, guy.

Speaker 1 i'm not high bro hey what are you implying though no i was just trying to like remember guy hey guy check this out dude oh i was just trying to listen guy guy okay all right what's up i'm um i i like to take like i we did with jesse no other people and i did it with esther i did it with benji i did it with a bunch of you've done it with me yeah you i've done it with sandy danto all these guys right i like to mentor and take him to dinner and go here are the ropes and do you need any help i promise i wasn't implying anything okay so i don't know what you're implying, friend.

Speaker 4 There's no dark magic or art.

Speaker 1 I did it with you. I know.
And here I am. Thank you.
Yeah, you're welcome. I appreciate it.
Yeah. Yeah, it was a bad idea to do it with him.

Speaker 1 Sometimes you make a mistake.

Speaker 1 Your instinct is wrong. Your instincts are wrong.

Speaker 1 You're going to pick a few bad horses. Yes, dude.
You're not all going to win the race.

Speaker 4 I still think of you when we pass by some of those places.

Speaker 1 What places we want to win? When he's picking up crack at night.

Speaker 4 No, we went to the newsroom cafe on Robertson.

Speaker 1 That's gone.

Speaker 4 Well, we went back in the day. Yeah, that was.
Yeah, yeah, I remember.

Speaker 1 Where did he take you? Where's the nicest place he took you?

Speaker 4 The Chinese place on Beverly with Charlie.

Speaker 1 Charlie Finn. Yeah, he was cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Charlie Finn.
You know, Charlie Finn? I don't know who that is. He's like one of my best friends, Charlie Finn.

Speaker 1 Charlie Finn was on a sitcom with Zach Knighton and Maz Drabrani.

Speaker 4 I'll show the picture, but we're gonna.

Speaker 1 Called Life on a Stick. Just for Andrew.
Oh, yeah, I like this guy. Yeah.
I know him. I like him.
Yeah. And Charlie Finn is so funny.
What a face on that guy. Yeah,

Speaker 1 he was Super Troopers. He was was so good.
So good in Super Troopers, yeah. But he's my best buddies in the whole world, that guy.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Well, look, you come up when you Google him.

Speaker 1 Huh? Interesting. Of course.

Speaker 1 What did you do together? That's why you shot something together? No, him and I.

Speaker 1 So I was on Mad TV and he was on Life on a Stick.

Speaker 1 It was a bug show?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 they did a TV show called Life on a Stick with Zach Knight, who's on Magnum P.I., Maj Drew Browni, and Charlie. And it was a show about

Speaker 1 Life on a Stick. Hot Dog on a Stick.
Oh, they worked at a hot dog. Who's the girl? I know who the girl is, but

Speaker 1 let's find out. So they

Speaker 1 yeah, they work on a hot dog on a stick. Oh, I see why this one didn't take.

Speaker 1 I know, it's crazy. You know what the irony is?

Speaker 1 This has feelers. It feels to me reminiscent of

Speaker 1 the two broke girls. It has that same vibe.

Speaker 1 It's got the same colorization, the same look.

Speaker 1 It's shot the same way. This is what always bothered me about TV back in the day that we only found out recently.
Look at her fucking fucking hair. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Her hair was the girl who works at the hot dog stand doesn't have fucking hair like that. These good-looking kids don't work at the hot dog stand.
Yeah, they don't.

Speaker 1 You know who works at a hot dog stand? Yeah. McCone.
That's who works at a hot dog stand. Yeah, exactly.
Take off your hat. This is the kid you see in the mall going, You guys want a hot dog?

Speaker 1 That's who does it. Yeah.
Not some beautiful girl and two really good-looking guys. That was the problem of TV.
They casted hot people in non-hot roles.

Speaker 1 Is that a DVD?

Speaker 4 It's fan-made. It even says it.

Speaker 1 Oh, right.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ.
By the way, you know who works in a the hot dog stand today? Who? You and me. What do you mean? We would pass on a show like this today.
Oh, that's true.

Speaker 1 You can't get two hot people on there. You got to get two guys.
Yeah, yeah. Two goof asses who failed out of life.
But anyway. Who was the girl? Look up the name right there.
Go back to all.

Speaker 1 I'd like to see what her name is to see if she's now Lily. Oh, no.
Sage Thompson and Rochelle.

Speaker 1 Zach is killing it.

Speaker 1 I'm sure they're all doing great.

Speaker 1 We all do shows that didn't go. Yeah.
But it's good. I mean, I'm sure they're all, you know, you keep moving along in this business.
Yeah. You try these pilots.
I've tried so many people.

Speaker 1 You've tried to get it. You've tried it.

Speaker 1 You get it. Try it.
Try it. Try.

Speaker 1 Try, try, try, try, try. Yeah.

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Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 What's going on now? I got a little present for you. Oh, I love it.

Speaker 1 It's a big, it's a dude. Okay.
This is wild. All right.

Speaker 1 Does he know?

Speaker 4 Yeah, we just texted a couple seconds ago.

Speaker 1 Who is it?

Speaker 5 Hello.

Speaker 1 Hello?

Speaker 5 Hello, yes. Hello.

Speaker 1 Is this the great Michael Winslow?

Speaker 5 What's left of him?

Speaker 1 What do you mean? What do you mean, what's left of you? We're on the phone with the great Michael Winslow. He's a legend.
A legend. We talked about you.
But Michael, do you live in LA or no?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 5 I'm in Florida, but I'm also up in Washington.

Speaker 5 We're up outside of Olympia right now.

Speaker 1 Oh, you are? You're on the road.

Speaker 5 Yeah, we're in the mountains right now.

Speaker 1 Oh, in the mountains. So for people we want to explain at home, one of the...

Speaker 5 We have Starlink in the mountains.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're Starlinking up there. You got Elon technology.
Ooh,

Speaker 1 fancy boy.

Speaker 5 I mean, how else am am I going to upload and download 4K if I want to do stuff?

Speaker 1 That's exactly right. The porn.
One of the greatest actors and voice actors.

Speaker 5 Here's the thing. You got to be able to have,

Speaker 5 especially for music. Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 5 I got to have data link stuff because we do, you know, I've got music coming.

Speaker 1 Coming out. Mr.
Windlow, what do you think?

Speaker 5 I got to have that quality to be able to uplink.

Speaker 1 What do you think if Starlink had

Speaker 1 what would it sound like when it was communicating through space, zapping down to you?

Speaker 5 Well, well remember in space no one can hear you scream

Speaker 5 yeah

Speaker 1 oh wow god god

Speaker 1 you still got it in space

Speaker 5 you have to understand as long as everybody makes noises you you guys know that every person man woman whoever you got a skill set you got the sounds but we don't use it

Speaker 5 You could have so much fun, and it could go so many different ways, provided you use the sounds for the proper good.

Speaker 1 Michael, do you now do you during the course of the day, do you continually imitate things that you hear as you go about the course of your day and put it down in your phone to like give yourself notes to keep working on sound?

Speaker 1 Well, that sounded just like a cough without a cough.

Speaker 5 I'm sorry, let me put my headphones on here. I'm just trying to.

Speaker 1 That was good. That sounded exactly like a real cough.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 5 up in the mountains, we have this thing called scotch broom. It's pollen.

Speaker 5 And if you're, are you, you guys use your voices every day, so you understand.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, we've had a lot of allergens in the air. I don't know if you heard me.

Speaker 1 I was saying during the course of the day, do you record yourself listening to sounds and you imitate them during the course of the day? Do you ever do that?

Speaker 5 Not necessarily. It depends on what the day is.
If I'm doing voiceover stuff, you know, I'm listening for what possibilities I can bring into it.

Speaker 1 Right. Okay.
If I do a sound, do you think you could find out quickly what it is? Because I feel like you're such in tune with noises. All right.
I'm going to do a sound.

Speaker 1 You tell me what you think it is. Ready?

Speaker 5 Are you going to make it or is this

Speaker 5 an actual recording?

Speaker 1 I'm going to make it. I promise.
And then I want you to tell me what you think it is. Ready?

Speaker 5 Go ahead.

Speaker 1 What do you think?

Speaker 1 Hang on.

Speaker 5 Let me ask my hip-hop app, Snerry.

Speaker 5 Yo, Sneery, what you think that is?

Speaker 5 Yo, I think it is a vacuum cleaner.

Speaker 1 Whoa, Siri. Whoa, Siri.

Speaker 1 I got to be honest with you.

Speaker 5 No, no, no, this is their cousin, Sneery, with an M.

Speaker 1 Oh, Sneeri!

Speaker 1 Rad. Wow.
I hate to tell you that was a Tesla Model X,

Speaker 1 but it does sound like a vacuum cleaner. Let's try one more time.
You got a noise, Bob? Here you go. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't.
Here you go.

Speaker 1 What do we think that is?

Speaker 5 I think it's,

Speaker 5 if I'm not mistaken, what do you think, Snerry?

Speaker 5 Yo, you're on your own, yo.

Speaker 1 Thanks. Snari doesn't know.
Whoa.

Speaker 5 Thanks. Well, you know what? I did buy it at the snooper market, so

Speaker 5 she was mentioning the snoop loops.

Speaker 1 Snoop loops. Oh, snoop loops.

Speaker 5 Oh, by the way, you can get those.

Speaker 5 Anyway, what I think that is, to me,

Speaker 5 because of my sense of humor, it kind of sounds like a sheep trying to get out of a Tesla.

Speaker 1 That's what it is. That's what it was.
That's what it is. That's exactly what it was.
Whoa, dude.

Speaker 5 You're kidding. You're kidding.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what it is. You are a legend.
Oh, you're a legend, dude. Unbelievable.

Speaker 1 I really appreciate you listening to our sounds. I do want to see if if we can do it back with you.
Will you make a sound and see if maybe I can identify what it is? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Oh, I already can.

Speaker 5 But anyway, um, oh,

Speaker 1 let's see. Yep.
What do you got in the chamber, baby?

Speaker 5 Oh, um, I think we can turn to the chamber. Well, let's see.
I have to step outside a second.

Speaker 5 Hey, Mr. Owl.
What up, yo?

Speaker 5 Mean who? Mean, fool.

Speaker 5 Mean fool.

Speaker 5 Sorry, that's that's Mr. Owl.
By the way, where's my kilting pots? Mother.

Speaker 1 Fucking amazing. Amazing.
Amazing, Michael. I don't want to take up too much of your time.
We appreciate it. We just, we talked about you on the podcast.
We're huge fans. I wanted to reach out to you.

Speaker 1 We're huge fans, and we really appreciate you, and we love you. And

Speaker 1 thank you so much for taking the time. When you come down to LA, will you come on our show?

Speaker 5 Oh, absolutely. I'd be honored.
And besides, you guys make noises. Are you kidding me?

Speaker 1 We do. We do.
We do. Not like you, but we do.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We're different.

Speaker 5 We could work on something.

Speaker 1 Oh, we would love that. I would absolutely love it.
I would absolutely take one of your classes here with us.

Speaker 5 Let me give you one that's easy, right?

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 5 This is something that they use in all of the science fiction films regarding trolls and elks and orcs and everything else.

Speaker 1 Bobby's an orc.

Speaker 1 I'm an orc.

Speaker 5 This is one of the Lord of the Rings type of noises. Okay.
Something simple.

Speaker 5 Horse hoofs.

Speaker 1 Are you ready? Horse hoofs. Yes.

Speaker 5 Okay. This is easy.

Speaker 1 Wow. How? How? How?

Speaker 1 So.

Speaker 5 Wow.

Speaker 1 You know, that also sounds. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It sounds like.

Speaker 5 And don't forget. And don't forget.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. he farted.
He farted.

Speaker 5 Oh, actually, that's the wrong end, but you're close.

Speaker 1 We want to tell you that we love you and we appreciate you. And we'll be talking to you soon because we want to get you on the show.

Speaker 5 Well, you guys continue to make noises and breaking rules in an organized manner.

Speaker 3 We shall. We shall.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Michael. You're the best.
Bye, Michael. You're the best.

Speaker 1 So, that's incredible. Incredible.

Speaker 1 That man is an amazing machine. It's an amazing machine.
God, I wish we could do that.

Speaker 1 You can. You did it.
No, but his. Yours is way better than mine.

Speaker 1 Let's hear when a phone gets disconnected.

Speaker 5 Nope.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good. Really? Yeah.
What about you? Let's do an open.

Speaker 1 He did opening a door. Do opening a door.

Speaker 1 Perfect. Really? That's so good.
You do one.

Speaker 1 That is.

Speaker 1 Whoa. That's all my doors.
They sound like. Oh, they do? Well, they got to be.
They're too wedged to the ground. But those are easy ones.
Let's try to do a hard one. Okay.
Like a car engine.

Speaker 4 I don't know if I can do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, man. Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How about this? Do a toaster. Oh, good.

Speaker 1 Hold on. Let me try.
It's hard. Ready?

Speaker 1 Mine's like this.

Speaker 1 Mine's like

Speaker 1 bread.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Yeah, we tune mine to say bread.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 What is this? What do you got?

Speaker 4 Here, I have this.

Speaker 6 Bro, we didn't see any

Speaker 6 bananas on the right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, little Chinese kids who's a black eye.

Speaker 1 Why do they react that way?

Speaker 1 Why do they react that way? I don't know that that's why. She said little, she said foreigner, foreigner, little black, little black.
No, he didn't. It's translated right there on the screen.

Speaker 1 She says, where's the banana?

Speaker 1 He said that?

Speaker 4 Yeah, but I think he's just genuinely looking for bananas that have something to do with.

Speaker 1 And the kid was going, I know Chinese.

Speaker 6 Bro, any banana somewhere, right?

Speaker 1 Okay, stop, stop, stop. So that there's two things going on.
Racist little kid. No, that's not a bad thing.
That is is a racist little kid.

Speaker 1 Grandma, look. Foreigner, right?

Speaker 1 African.

Speaker 1 Little black, little black.

Speaker 6 What the crav is.

Speaker 1 That is crazy.

Speaker 1 That is insane that she figured that. Man, that little Chinese girl is right.
Let's cancel her. Let's find out.
Find out where her

Speaker 1 preschool is. And cancel her.
And cancel her. Take away her toys.
Yeah. Wow.
We won't stand for this kind of behavior in our society anymore. And I mean it.
Cancel this young little Chinese girl.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Carlos, for bringing that to my attention. Yeah, no problem, man.
These young Chinese people. But there was a video I saw of

Speaker 1 a black guy in Africa

Speaker 1 meeting a white girl, and he ran away.

Speaker 1 It's the same thing. No, it's not.
It is. No, because historically, whites that meet Africans probably not a good look.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Africans see whites coming and they're like, get these fucking pigs out of here.

Speaker 1 Okay. Not to say.

Speaker 4 I think it's coming out as the get out trailer.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, dude, was that just the movie Get Out that you thought it was? Yeah, I think it was Jordan's movie.

Speaker 1 I saw both.

Speaker 1 That's what it was. That is insane.
Yeah. Wow, that's a crazy video.
Give me something, Carlos. Pig.
All right, here's this girl.

Speaker 7 I found out

Speaker 7 I'm up for two Grammys. My very first time, you guys.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 My name is Robbie Summer.

Speaker 7 And I'm up for two Grammys.

Speaker 1 Two. I don't need anything.

Speaker 7 I need you

Speaker 7 by

Speaker 7 my

Speaker 7 side. Shining your light on my own.

Speaker 7 Are you to be quiet? But they're enjoying it. So while we're sitting here, could I please? I'm not enjoying it.
So I'm asking you, can you be quiet?

Speaker 7 I'm at it. That's a yes or no.

Speaker 1 Is this fake? Am I going to go to the

Speaker 1 wait a minute? She's nominated for two Grammys. Okay, is she, though?

Speaker 4 Yeah, TMZ is reporting that she's like an actual gospel singer nominated for the Grammys. Her name's Bobby Storm.

Speaker 1 Wait a minute. And this flight attendant really told her to shut up?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Just get her on a Southwest flight.
Those idiots sing all the time.

Speaker 4 I mean, she looks, she's not in Delta Comfort either. She's like a normal coach.
So I don't think.

Speaker 1 Are you judging her by her class?

Speaker 4 Even I fly Delta Comfort.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know, and you don't deserve it. You know what, Bob? We're knocking him down.
He's not flying comfort anymore because of that last comment.

Speaker 1 You think you're better than the girl that won two Grammys? You're not.

Speaker 2 I am because I don't yell during flights. I don't call.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, you're on drugs. You pass out the whole time.

Speaker 1 You're intoxicated the whole flight. Have you ever taken a bad friend's flight with us and not been on drugs or alcohol? No, of course not.
But don't you want it that way?

Speaker 4 So a Medicaid?

Speaker 1 I just don't want you to have a freak out moment of that guy's not real like that chick while you're baked on something.

Speaker 1 I know what the situation is now. Well, let's finish it.
Let's see the rest. I know what it is.
I'm shocked. Jill, if I don't.

Speaker 7 Can you please answer my question? Are you willing and able to be quiet right now? I'm doing what the Lord is telling me to do. I'm asking you a question, yes or no.
I'm your flight leader.

Speaker 7 I need you to follow my instruction. Okay.
My instructions for you to answer my question. Are you able to be quiet? What do you guys think?

Speaker 7 I'm asking you, ma'am. I'm asking you guys.

Speaker 1 You better break out in a song, too.

Speaker 7 If you're not able to follow my instruction, you will not be taking this flight. Ah, okay.
Are you able to be quiet? If that's the case, then that's fine. If you're the person

Speaker 7 in charge of it all, I'm your flight leader, yes. If you're the person in charge of it all, then that's fine.
Okay. All right.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 I don't buy this.

Speaker 1 I I don't buy it. They're both in the wrong.
Timeout. I don't buy that this guy.

Speaker 1 How could this happen? He sees the camera the whole time. You're telling me that guy sees that camera and is acting like that?

Speaker 4 I think it's just the middle seat guy. Like, I would have started filming, too, if, like, some.

Speaker 1 Gospel singer Bobby Storm nearly kicked off. No, he was filming the whole time she announced that she won the Grammy.
She must know the human that filmed this, dude. No.

Speaker 1 It's filming while she announces I won a Grammy.

Speaker 1 It's like

Speaker 1 he's aware of what's going on.

Speaker 1 What if the guy's like slyly doing it? He's not. Look at how fucking obvious it is.
You can tell he's not hiding. What are you angry about? Because this makes me mad.
This isn't real.

Speaker 1 There's something about this that looks fake as fuck.

Speaker 1 I call fake as fuck on this. This is a faff moment.
Fake as fuck. Carlos is going to go on his own profile now?

Speaker 1 No, it's because I saved him. I get it.

Speaker 1 Look. Okay.
Let's just break it down. Look at how coordinated this is.
Let's break it down. You're getting angry for me.

Speaker 7 My very first time, you guys.

Speaker 1 My name is Bobby Storm. Hey, stop for a second.
See a minute. So, what you're saying is everyone's in on it? No, goofball.
The guy that's filming it is clearly in on it.

Speaker 1 Look at how clear the image is, him recording this girl. She said, But some of those little cameras now with the CIA and stuff.

Speaker 1 Cut it out if we're going to have a real argument. Cut it out.
Cut out what? Cut that bullshit out. This isn't a little fucking CIA.
You really angry about that? This guy isn't coach. This isn't CIA.

Speaker 1 He's filming on his fucking iPhone like this. Okay.

Speaker 1 And she she said film me she turned around she told all the people on the plane i'm up for two grammy nominations this fucking flight attendant is definitely in on this there's no chance he would act like this because she's oh so they did that so she could get yes no what's the because it blew up on the fucking internet and we're talking about it it worked it worked like a charm she won look at us we have to do it Yes, let's blow up on the next flight.

Speaker 1 No, we're not going to blow up a flight. We mean blow up the next flight.

Speaker 1 Wow, I never looked at it. It's so obvious.
It's all over TMZ. Yeah, Carlos, bring a gun to the airport when we fly out.

Speaker 4 We could bring the gun on the flight, and then I could pull it out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, bring the gun on the flight. You could tackle me and we could go viral.
Yeah, bring a gun to the airport, Carlos. That's not the same thing, I don't think.
Who do we hire here?

Speaker 4 But we could put bad friends on the gun.

Speaker 1 You know what it is? I want you to strip naked on the plane and sing Daddy While You Die, and I'll record it.

Speaker 1 Done. That's interesting.
Press play again. Watch.

Speaker 7 And I'm up for two Grammys.

Speaker 7 I don't need anything. I'm an idiot.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, really. Rewind it right before it cuts.
He was already there. He was already there.
Correct. And he was listening to her.
Thank you. Interesting.

Speaker 1 Interesting. Go ahead.
Now she's singing beautifully, by the way.

Speaker 7 Are you going to be quiet?

Speaker 1 But they're enjoying. Wait, stop for a second.
Stop for a second. Are you going to be quiet? Why would he do it? She's just chatting.
It's not illegal to see. Look at the back of her head.
Let's see.

Speaker 1 Is she a robot? She's ai no oh she's white

Speaker 1 this is a girl in blackface look at the back of her head this is a girl in blackface yeah it's blackface wow good find whoa dude i thought that was i thought that was a plug i thought she was plugged in somewhere yeah i thought she was ai yeah no well we found you out we found you out whitey

Speaker 1 what what's her name she did a good job

Speaker 1 bobby storm i don't believe a second of this in fact get her on the show if you want to talk about it because i think this is phony baloney

Speaker 1 incredible though but if um who would stop a woman from singing beautiful music that doesn't make sense well i was the my other theory was is that he's better i thought he was going to start singing with her and duet that's what i thought no but i thought like i have this job well it's a great job right but you're getting grammy i can sing better so what so he's like watch this shut the up I don't want him yeah that would have been dope if he did that yeah then I would have been like this is a flight attendant by the way I don't know where's my Grammy when we fly and the flight attendants do that thing where they like like get chummy and sing and make jokes, cut it out.

Speaker 1 Cut it the fuck out. I don't want jokes.

Speaker 1 We're in a flying machine. You're really negative right now, dude.

Speaker 4 What if they're gay, though?

Speaker 1 They're all gay. They're all gay, dude.
What are you talking about? There isn't one guy flight attendant that has that. You think that guy wasn't gay?

Speaker 4 Well, that's what I was saying.

Speaker 1 It's on the job description.

Speaker 4 But I don't like when the girls do their thing, but when the guys do it, I'm like, eh, it's okay.

Speaker 1 Also, you know what? I don't like when anybody's song and dances. When the whole plane laughs, though, and the guy makes a joke, joke, I always look at everyone I can look at and I go,

Speaker 1 because you're jealous. What?

Speaker 1 I think I'm jealous a little bit.

Speaker 1 I'm not jealous. I'm just on a machine where I'm flying in the sky.
I just want to go to the place I'm going. I don't need to be like a funny pilot.

Speaker 1 Nobody needs a funny pilot. Hey, we're going to be going over the Rockies.
Today might be a little bump or. a little rocky, if you might add.

Speaker 1 Fuck off. Fuck off.
You're flying a plane. Fuck off.
Don't make a joke. You're in a death machine in the sky.
There's nothing fun. I don't want a funny pilot.

Speaker 1 I don't want a nice bartender. There's some things that require different vibes.

Speaker 1 But let me ask you this.

Speaker 4 Well, I was just going to say about flying. I do have something to say about that.

Speaker 1 I don't want a funny pilot. I don't want a nice bartender.
I don't want a non-racist cop. But the things I like.
Right, right. But in a plane, right, some people have tension and anxiety, right?

Speaker 1 And sometimes a funny pilot or a funny.

Speaker 1 Okay, you're a funny pilot, and I'm a guy on a flight with terrible anxiety. Ready? Okay, get over the PA system and make a joke.
Here we go. Well, guys,

Speaker 1 we're going to have a safe and nice ride. I've only crashed three of them.

Speaker 1 I'm kidding, folks.

Speaker 1 There's a bomb on the plane.

Speaker 1 There's a bomb on the plane.

Speaker 1 There's a bomb on the plane. He shouldn't be going out.
Well, you incited it because you're a goofball pilot. Lol, lol, lol.
Not funny. Fly the can.

Speaker 1 But don't you think that, like, if just get me to Spokane? What if there was a funny, funny, like, Nazi soldier that was funny during the camp?

Speaker 1 Doesn't that

Speaker 1 his personality, no?

Speaker 1 What would a funny Nazi soldier be like? I don't know. Give us an example.
Yeah, you do the accents. Go ahead.
You're the funny Nazi.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 1 I'm someone you're.

Speaker 1 Please don't hurt me. Please don't.

Speaker 1 Well, get Michael Winslow on the the phone. He'll do a funny Nazi.

Speaker 1 Can we talk anything about love or dating or anything with you? Oh, no. Yeah, I have an update.
Let's give an update. Ooh, hold on.

Speaker 1 Bobby love update. It's a Bobby love update.
Bobby love update. It's a Bobby love update.

Speaker 1 Oh, the song isn't that long. We got to.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. Sorry.
Sorry. What's an update? Let's go.

Speaker 1 I'm going to die alone. Shut up.
No, I'm done. What do you mean you're done?

Speaker 1 I realized I don't want to do it.

Speaker 1 Yes, you do. I don't know.
Carlos, you got what I'm saying? No, here's what it is. First of all, don't be on Carlos's.
I know we're in the same tribe. Please, yeah.
He's on substances.

Speaker 1 It's just, I can't do it. What can't you do? Conversations.
With women. Yeah, it's just everything annoys me.

Speaker 1 I've never met anybody where I'm like, oh, I'm not annoyed. You don't like small talk.
I don't like what they sometimes even have to say even most of the time.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 4 I mean, you have to be obsessed with them to be into it. I have to be like obsessed to be into it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's like, you know, you have to be in love?

Speaker 1 What do you mean, obsessed? What are like gross word?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I have to have like a crush on them. Yeah,

Speaker 1 say that. It's like, you know, when they say stuff like that, you know, I love the fall when the leaves change color.
Lou, the guy, I have to be obsessed with them.

Speaker 1 Like, what a creep. But I get what he's saying, though.
I have to want to stalk them. Yeah, you have to have that.
That's actually true. A crush.
You have to have a crush. A crush.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's what it means. Yeah, yeah, not stock.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But when they say stuff like, you know, like the fall, the leaves change color.
They say stuff like that. And you go, yeah.

Speaker 1 But you don't like any of that. No.
What kind of conversation do you want? You want deep philosophical shit? You want a girl to be like, what's the meaning of life?

Speaker 1 No, like where, like, no, like, um. You know, what if a girl said this to you on a date? Okay.
First date. And she goes, Give me an example.

Speaker 1 Why can't

Speaker 1 totally different foods mix? Like, if I took a California roll and I had it with beef stroganoff, why can't I do that?

Speaker 1 Like, if I must. Dude, see, that right there is more interesting than me.
I know. I'm saying.
So you want someone? You want yourself to be a little bit more like a bunch of people.

Speaker 1 And I'd be like, yeah, dude, right? Let's get you as a girl. Yeah.
Let's find girls out there here. We're putting it out to fans.
If you're a weirdo chick.

Speaker 1 That's a weirdo thing. 100% it is.
No, because listen to people's conversations. It's all whack.

Speaker 1 Conversations are mostly. When I hear people talk, I go, what are they talking about? So find a weirdo that you can have weird conversations.

Speaker 1 I don't like the connotation that you sing. It's weird.
You are weird. I'm not weird.
It's not a weird thing. I just, I'm, uh,

Speaker 1 I don't know the word. I'm eccentric.
Eccentric. Yeah.
Yeah, that's like a nice way to weird. Unique.
Yeah. Unique.
Yeah, I'm unique. Yeah, weird.
Yeah. Dude, you're weird.
I'm weird. We're weird.

Speaker 1 No, it's okay. It's like, you know, like.

Speaker 1 We're weird. It's okay.
Well, so I can't, I can, like, even if I start a conversation with a girl, they just don't know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 It's like, I go, dude, you think that, like, the Talking Heads were just on,

Speaker 1 what's so funny? Stephen Colbert. Yeah.
All four of them. They haven't announced a reunion tour.
So I, you know, I was on a date and I go, so what does that mean, do you think?

Speaker 1 She's like, what's that?

Speaker 1 And I go, what's what? The talking heads.

Speaker 1 All right, you called me. And I go, what? You called me.
Yeah. Didn't I call you about that? Yeah, we called, you talked to me about it.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You asked me about the talking heads and we went over their albums. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 My my point is see i'd so then you should date me well then let's date me but like yeah that's what i i want a girl with that doesn't look like that but has shares similar you know what i mean all right and somebody also that's funny so me why don't you just date me i don't want to you though you're ugly to me i'm not ugly no i'm not as fresh as you oh get also can i just say something about you you haven't dated you're also temperamental so are you yeah i don't want to go out temperamental fine all right you're too temperamental let's put it out there if you're a girl who's a little eccentric Like Carlos, actually.

Speaker 1 Ew, what? You would fuck him before you'd fucking him. A female version of him, yeah.
You'd fuck him before you'd fucking him. All the people in the room, probably he's first,

Speaker 1 McCone's second, you're third, and Andreas is fourth. I'm okay with that.
Female version. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 I'm not. Why?

Speaker 1 That pisses me off.

Speaker 5 Shut the fuck up, dude.

Speaker 1 I'm a babe, dude. No, you're not someone.

Speaker 1 I'll even double down on it, alright? pissing me off dude but I don't even know sometimes

Speaker 1 this is gonna start a fight sometimes I look at your wife and I want to go

Speaker 1 like how

Speaker 1 do you do it oh my god I think I did mention it to her and she goes I just have my ways of doing it you know she never fucking said that something like that yeah it's bullshit

Speaker 1 but you're a lovely guy let me say something that intro I gave you tonight

Speaker 1 fuck you dude

Speaker 1 Shut the fuck up. Did I give you a good intro tonight? It was fake.
But it was good. Yeah, it was good fake.
And you smiled at me what?

Speaker 1 You smile at me? Yeah, I say, you son of a bitch. No, you didn't.
You hugged me. I hugged you.
And you go, I'll see you later, pal.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's what you said to me.

Speaker 1 Did you not? I did. That's what we are.

Speaker 1 You're one of my best friends. There we go.
So why don't you want to fuck me?

Speaker 1 because of that? Your tone. I get it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, like a girl, imagine a girl version.
Where are you going? Oh, I'm in, I'm going to be in Mazatlan playing golf for five days.

Speaker 1 It's like, where? Oh, fun for you. You don't have to talk to me about anything.
I get to, I go, I am out of your hair. We just don't have those things in common.
That's the best part.

Speaker 1 You don't want a girl that has stuff in common with you. You just said you don't want to talk to them about anything.
I just want somebody to know what I know. Just date me.

Speaker 1 Please.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 No, but Carlos, if you find a girl that's like you, but not as high and has hair.

Speaker 1 So not him.

Speaker 1 No, I'm talking about my own.

Speaker 1 In terms of like, because I feel like when we're on the road, you can handle my bullshit. Yeah.
You have a

Speaker 1 pay him to handle it. No, you pay him.
He's always been like that. He can withstand insanity.
Because

Speaker 1 he absorbs it. Macone can't do it.
He's like a deer in headlights. Yeah, he's not.
He smiles.

Speaker 1 You know who McCone is? Macone's the guy that forgets fries with a burger. Yeah, that's that guy.
Fuck. I don't want that guy.
And Carlos does not. Carlos will forget both, but he wouldn't forget one.

Speaker 1 Andre, boring.

Speaker 1 Boring. What the fuck? If you call him after nine, he won't pick up.
No chance. Not a chance.
Not a chance. Yeah, he literally said tonight ago, we're going to be recording later.

Speaker 1 He goes, I will be in my P yes, but I will be there. Yeah.
My P ye. But anyway, you wear pajamas to bed at night? I do.
You fucking nerd. Carlos, let me ask you that.
You put on literal pajamas?

Speaker 1 Fucking nerd. Carlos, out of girls, if we were all girls, who would you date first?

Speaker 4 If it was in it, if I was in it for the long haul and I wanted to really settle down. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 How philosophical. The long haul.

Speaker 4 I really think I would date Andrew. Yeah.

Speaker 1 For the long haul. It's obvious, dude.
But the reason why. Security.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 No, no, not security. It's more that Andrew.
It's the golfing and stuff. It's like, go do your thing and I'll like.

Speaker 1 We go do our separate things.

Speaker 4 But the reason why is I'll have side girls like you.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're going to be hooking up with him behind my back? Exactly. All right.
Yeah. No, you don't.
No, what you don't understand is that. Fine.
Imagine I'm a girl. Uh-huh.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So if I'm not golfing, what am I doing at home? We fuck all the time. Yeah, we hang.
No, we fuck all the time. You guys are going to get bored.
You're going to get bored. I can feel it.

Speaker 3 But I can fuck two people, though.

Speaker 4 If I fuck Andrew and then he goes and golfs in Mazatlan, I can fuck you and you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't want to fuck.

Speaker 1 You

Speaker 1 behind his what am I doing in Mazatlan, by the way? Play golf.

Speaker 1 I wish. There's not a golf course there.
There is. I've never been.

Speaker 4 Oh, y'all wouldn't know about each other. I would lie and keep.

Speaker 1 Oh, so we don't have this. We're not too bad.
You know what? We'd run into each other at Trader Joe's one day. Right.
And he would be on the phone FaceTiming with you. And I'd go, Is that?

Speaker 1 Oh, so your dick smells? It would be on us. Yeah, I'd smell it.
Yeah, she's like 100%. Carlos? I go, yeah.

Speaker 1 Be real.

Speaker 1 Your dick smells, though. It doesn't smell.
Yeah, dude. I'll put cologne on it.
Yeah. I smell it on you.

Speaker 1 Is that Carlos? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Okay.
Yeah. Is that Carlos? Yeah, it was in my mouth.

Speaker 1 I breathed out. Sorry.
Me, too.

Speaker 1 Hey.

Speaker 1 You know what appeared like one of those Ghostbusters ghosts?

Speaker 1 The green one. Green smog.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
Well, we're going to find a lady for you. No, I'm done.

Speaker 1 I'm not done. I want to find a lady for you.

Speaker 1 Please email

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 3 Carlos in the booth.

Speaker 1 It doesn't work, gmail.com.

Speaker 3 CarlosInthebooth at gmail.com.

Speaker 1 They have tattoos on their neck.

Speaker 3 Carlos in the booth at gmail.com.

Speaker 1 Please email me. Carlos in the booth at gmail.
I'm not going to turn down anybody. And send us a video of your proposal of why you want to date Bob.
And maybe we'll get you on a go.

Speaker 1 You never know, dude. You could, there's so many fish out there.
You just got to put your line in the water. Okay.
Thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 woof,

Speaker 1 yo,

Speaker 1 yo, yo, woof, woof,