The Magic Lick

Carlos, you know, I've known you for a long time and I thought that I trusted you and then Andreas I mean you look like a guy that doesn't prank and that is an honest one as well and when you guys shocked me during the Hollywood thing, the Halloween episode, it was a real betrayal and I and I and you guys mock me still. Yeah.
You know what I mean? Because when I came here today you still you had the shocked caller on the table just to make fun of me. Not funny, that was not funny That was not funny at all And I was being real, like you're lucky you have a job Yeah, we apologize No, you didn't Well, they're doing it now? You're doing it now Well, let's see, Rudy, do you accept the apology from these guys? Was it really painful? Here's what, they told me that it was fake

and so you're not

anticipating it.

So you're completely relaxed

and then when it hits you like that

it hurts

but it hurts your soul.

I bet it's kind of shocking to get something

like that, to hit you like that.

Traumatic to my neck.

It wakes you up a little bit.

It's like my neck that's what it was and you can say that you can't cut that you don't have to cut that out sorry for yeah you did and you know and this and my neck said no sorry bob yeah you you told us once that you would do anything for comedy so we thought long-winded not a real apology no no no. Oh, so it's my fault.
Yeah, dude. Oh, my God.
What a twist. He put it on you.
It's my fault. I hit you because you made me.
No, I would hit you because you make me hit you. That's what it is, right? I don't want to hit you.
But your eyes and your face make me want to hate you. Whoa.
Oh, yeah, yeah.

But, yeah, I'm sorry, Bobby.

You didn't deserve it.

That's right.

I can make fun of you, dude.

I know.

Yeah.

We know that.

I mean, there's other things.

I look at your face and everything about you.

I have things I can say.

Yeah.

But I don't.

I hold my tongue.

You do.

Right? You're so good.

Yeah.

You two are bad friends.

Who are these two idiots?

A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots? White dude and Asian dude. You two are disgusting.
You two are something. We're bad friends.
Wait, is this the real invisible candy that we're talking about? Yeah, this is the real invisible candy I'm talking about. This is what we're talking about.
I don't know what this is called. That's right, I'm on the box.
Look at you on the package. I'm on the package, and I remember it does come with stickers.
it's pretty cool Yeah yeah Have you had one of these? Yeah they're way better Way better than the White Lotus Whatever Do you know the song? Boat and rice Ice candy Boat and rice I like boat and rice Rice candy Is this what you have back In the old country? No I've never seen The Americans up a coming Get in the hole We're gonna build a trail Boom to build a trail. Boom, boom, boom.
Goes the sound of the bombs. Boom, boom, boom.
Goes the sound of the bombs. Try one.
I'm about to. I got to open it up.
Welcome back to the Bad Friends podcast where we're trying out some brand new Botan rice candy. Oh my God, Carlos, this won't interest anybody except for you and me, but Dwight Howard.
Oh yeah. Bobby, do you know who this is?? Oh, yeah, dude.
The one that's saying Taylor Swift. That's exactly right.
The football player. Dwight Howard is a famous NBA player who got caught.
He got caught hooking up with a dudesy dudesy. And that's not a problem.
That's okay. It's not the first time.
That's okay. But he's got allegations that it wasn't okay.
That the guy wasn't, you know. It's an essay.
Wait, wait, wait. It's an essay.
It's an assault. So he assaulted another man? Yes.
How does it? Do you eat the wrapper? You eat it. But you eat the, so you eat, this is how you eat this, the whole thing.
It's so good. Promise? I swear to God, it melts in your mouth.
Does everyone do this? Yes. Mmm, cool.
Why is your face like that? Oh, this flavor what the fuck you're talking you mean sweet isn't a flavor I don't taste the sweet well it's like you just you know nothing pretty flavorless all right let's not I not chew into the mouth. No, stick it in your mouth.
No, finish it. It's so gross.
No, finish it. Finish it.
Finish it. The paper.
Put the paper in your mouth. Finish it.
Yeah. Finish it.
Okay. Bob and I had dinner last night.
The most depressing dinner I've ever had. It was a fun dinner with a good friend, an old friend.
It was fucking depressing. We had a very good time.
Good friend, though. Good friend.
Depressing. And you had tuna tartare.
I had stomach aches. I hate that place.
Really? Yeah, my tummy hurt. It was terrible.
Well, maybe because of the cream. Yeah, you did drink a lot.
I drank a lot of cream. This guy's a cream.
You're a lactose intolerant Cream drinker I love the cream But my point is Is that And then my tummy started hurting And then I laughed But it was fine Didn't you enjoy the The experience with I love him because He's an old friend An old friend Isn't it nice to see old friends Do you have any old friends Carlos? It's when I see you guys Yeah No but Andrew though Is like You know like, you know that you see a show like 30-something? What? What are you talking about? I'm not a sitcom from 95. Can I just say something? Yeah.
When you're in that setting, you cross your legs like this. He does.
And he's like a normal guy. So how's your week been? How are you feeling? He's like a normal guy You know what I mean So how's your week been How are you feeling He's like a normal guy He goes into normal mode Yeah but me I'm still I'm the guy that I'm like Where's the cream I want my cream I'm crazy But he's like He's dressed nice He looks like a normal All American man We went out to a nice dinner You should have dressed up a little bit It was a nice restaurant I didn't.
He looks like a normal, all-American man. We went out to a nice dinner.

You should have dressed up a little bit.

It was a nice restaurant.

I didn't know.

It sounded like a hot dog joint.

It is a hot dog joint.

It's a nice high-end hot dog joint.

Uh-oh, hot dogs presented by Martin Steve.

Yeah.

But it was a nice dinner.

The valet.

That was nice.

Right by my house, which is, I've never even heard of it.

You couldn't be closer to your house.

And then I went to the store, and I had to poo between fucking shows.

It was terrible.

Have you pooed in the main room, green room?

Every time I'm in there.

There's no door.

It's two swinging saloon doors.

I know.

That's why I like it.

It's so wet.

I love showcasing.

You do?

No, I tell, so there's two parts of the green room.

There's like where people lounge, you've been in there.

And then there's a door. So whenever I'm in there, I'm like, i'm like hey i tell everyone i'm gonna take a shit don't go in here you announce i make a noise i have an announcement to make what is it what is it i poo poo oh yay and then i'm eating this again yeah are you sure you eat the outside of this didn't melt in your mouth no it did like

it's in my teeth yeah it melt in your mouth can i say something about your poo tita bobby no please no no you may not actually i'll say it okay go ahead but let me say something i have beef in my car what do i have in my car butcher box yeah butcher a lot of meat a lot of meat yeah you You want the meat, right?

Watch what you say.

Okay.

Every time I clean your toilet, there's so much poo stains. We'll be right back.
Thank you. Thank you.
Yeah. Thank you, guys.
We'll be right back. There's so much a poo stains.
Yeah. And they're like so sticky.
You can't take it off. Oh, your poo is dry? No.
You have dry poo?

No, I usually don't have so much stains.

And they're so sticky.

I call it poo shrapnel.

I have to brush it for like 30 minutes.

Good.

It's on purpose.

It's on purpose.

I don't understand why it's so sticky.

You push us harder.

When it shoots out,

why do we always have to talk about poo?

Let's get off of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But can I say something?

It's the cream. And I gotta cut down on the cream.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
What have you been doing, Rudy? I've been watching One Piece nonstop. Love One Piece.
Two Piece is better, though. What? I don't know.
Anime. One Piece? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let me see. Let me see it.
One Piece anime, Two Piece mini me. What are we talking about? Yeah.
So this is it. Welcome to One Piece.
Look at the guy in the front. He's even going, One Piece! One Piece! It's a bunch of pirates, and I've been...
And the one to the right, is that with the Pinocchio nose? You're telling me all these people are pirates? Yeah. Yeah.

But is the guy with the long nose, is he a liar?

Yeah, he's a liar.

The biggest liar.

Because he's Pinocchio then.

Oh, I didn't notice that.

Do you know what Pinocchio is?

Yeah.

What do you mean?

I never realized that.

The guy with the long nose?

When he doesn't lie, does his nose grow?

No, it doesn't grow, but it's just long. He's lied so much, it's at its peak.
Yeah. Yeah, I didn't realize that.
What's the story of One Piece? Can we guess? Okay, go. So the guy with the nose, right? He's not the main character.
I understand, but he's on the poster. Okay, okay, okay.
So he's like, you know, series regular. Okay, go.
He had to audition, probably test. Right? He probably had had a test I think they run a train on that girl on the left and the guy with the nose used to be the king But now this guy with his big dick finger is in the Dude that's where I'm yeah, that's the head guy what she was she met the guy with the long nose first Yeah, of course, and she's like oh, I'm this is the guy I want to sit on your face Yeah, and and his nose is bigger than any dick I've ever had.
It looks like it. But then she runs into the finger, the monster finger.
Monster finger. And now the guy in the long nose is like, look at his head.
He's like, what about my nose? He's trying to make it look, it's big, isn't it? Yeah. And he's like, no, but my finger's bigger.
And look at how happy she is. She's stoked.
And the two guys in the back are just mafia bosses.

What?

They look like mafia bosses.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

The one with the green hair is so hot.

Zoom in.

What do you mean when you say hot?

What's hot about him?

Yeah.

That guy's hot?

He barely has any facial features.

That guy...

No, no.

That's not a good picture.

Find another. He has no nose.
No nose. Okay, just do Zorro one piece.
Zorro. That's his name, Zorro? Uh-huh.
Do you flick your bean to this stuff? What? Do you strum the guitar to this? Yeah. Okay, look.
Look. Whoa.
That guy's hot? Oh, my God. I'm so confused.
It's so stupid. You know why? Because he has two abs.
Two abs? Two abs. Look at that.
He's got a two-pack. A scar on his face.
Look at how big his mouth is. Yeah, huge teeth.
But he uses three swords. I mean, this is downsy, downsy, downsy.
Oh... That's the live action version.
Well, are they doing live action? Yeah. Wait, you don't like that.
You like the animation more than the real guy. Animation.
Is there anything for me? Can I be the long nose? Oh, you look up Nami. Yeah, this is what I want to audition for, Nami.
Oh, that's the photo. Yeah, whoa.
Oh, so that's why you like them. Right.
What is that? No piece.

Isn't that Zorro?

Stop faking it.

What is?

I've never seen that before.

Look at that penis.

Zoom in on the penis.

That's the piece in One Piece.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, that's the piece.

Oh, look at that.

So much cream.

So much cream.

My stomach hurts right now just by looking at that.

So One Piece is your, this is your, this is your everything. My everything right now.
What is it about though? Because I think we're probably wrong. It's, you know, that guy with the big finger? Yeah, yeah.
So he's the captain and he wants to be the king of the pirates. And to be the king of the pirates is to be the strongest and to be the most powerful.
And so they go on a lot of adventures together and you just see so many like characters and different powers because he ate a devil fruit and he's a rubber guy and so he can like stretch he can let's stop he can be he ate devil fruit and now he's the rubber guy yeah i think i'm I'm going to go home. What do you mean?

What are you talking about?

Yeah.

None of these people look like...

I'm the anime studio.

You pitch me the show.

Okay.

Check this out.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Tell me about the characters.

Okay.

So the characters you're going to love.

Yeah.

So the show is called One Piece.

One Piece is what they look like.

Shut up.

This is my assistant.

Sorry.

It's my driver.

Back in the car.

You have to buy her because he... Sorry.
Loud mouth. So it's called...
John, thanks for coming here. Thank you.
It's called One Piece. What is it about? And there's five pirates.
Six pirates. Five and six.
Six pirates. Five or six? Six.
One of them is the leader, and he's got a big... Oh, but let me ask you.
I love the photo. Thank you.
The little guy right there. What is that? That's you, sir.

It's a reindeer.

Oh, that's me.

Yeah, we did.

Thank you for including me.

Yeah, we incorporated you into the game.

Thank you, thank you.

Time out.

That's a reindeer?

Uh-huh.

And he also ate a devil fruit, so he can go half human, half animal.

Who is this?

Your assistant?

My driver.

Yeah, tell us shop walk up.

You can't.

Please, sir.

It's supposed to be shop walk up.

But I know one piece. You don't know the show hold on she create she's crazy no she created she's crazy oh she's crazy oh i see yeah anyway continue and so so you see the woman on the right with the big tits which one oh yeah yeah yeah yeah the orange the redhead i knew you i knew you'd get it that's me that you that you, that you.
That's who I really want. Yeah, I see.
And two per, two people. Can I ask this thing? Yeah.
Just do the transition. Why would we create a show? If we sell the show, I'm going to have the money to do it.
Oh, just like the Wachowski brother. That's right.
Yeah. And two people to the right is you, sir, in the yellow there.
That is a depiction of you. The little one.
I thought it was the little one was me. Well, that's just for, that's you in the game, but you in our brain is the guy on the far right.

Oh, thank you.

And then who is the gay guy in the green?

Can we cut him out?

In the green.

In the green.

I don't like it at all.

That's Zozo.

Zorro.

Zozo.

That's Zozo.

I prefer Zozo.

It's Zozo.

Because Zorro is hacky.

Right, Zorro is a guy that exists.

Stealing. Right, stealing.
Yeah. What about the woman that looks like my mom? She's an archaeologist.
Yeah, fucking right. Really? You think that woman's digging up shit? Yeah.
She wore a fucking big titted top and a grass skirt to dig up the earth? Yeah. No tools.
She used her titty to fucking dig.

But she has powers where she can create more limbs.

I'm so sick of this.

What's a devil fruit?

This is pissing me off.

Explain me devil fruit.

It's what all the Filipinos call their private parts.

Oh, yeah.

Devil fruit.

Yeah.

I've eaten devil fruit.

I know you have. It tastes like balut.
And then what is rubber man? What? Explain me rubber man. Oh, what is a rubber man? Well, you said he ate the double fruit and the rubber man.
The rubber man. Yeah.
A rubber man. Do you have any friends that are into like glory holes? Oh, I have one friend.
In my company, we have a janitor. Okay.
His name is Carlos. Years ago, he used to work for a bad friend company.
Oh, right. Yeah, but then he said that he ain't worth it so many times.
He did. Yeah, yeah, and he did so many glory, glory holes.
Yeah. You know glory holes? I do.
I know them. I've never seen one, but I do know they exist.
Yeah, but this guy go in glory holes. This guy loves them.
All the time he live in there. So that guy? What? that guy, Carlo, he's a rubber man.
Oh,

now it makes sense.

Right.

What's a glory hole.

Oh,

fun.

You ask,

well,

we have something here.

Let's see it.

This is a true story that happened this week.

A girl.

Yeah.

A girl in Amsterdam,

a British girl was sucking a dick in a glory hole.

And when she turned on some sort of light at this really fancy glory hole it was revealed that it was her dad and this and we have a voice note from one of the friends i want to hear it okay go ahead all right it's pretty good to the story because i'm literally telling everyone it's so horrific so my friend amelia who i was with yesterday she's got got a mate called Ellie who's in a house share in London.

And Ellie shares with like a bunch of girls.

And one of the girls was telling her she's just been on a hen do to Amsterdam, where the stag and the hen went at the same time.

I think they were just like a mixed social group who kind of like knew each other.

But then the stag went one day and the hen, one way and the hens went the other.

For people that don't know, stag do and hen do are bachelor and bachelorette party.

Mm-hmm. But then the stag went one day in the hen one way and the hens went the other For people that don't know stag do and hen do our bachelor and bachelorette party That's what that means do got super drunk and went into one of these booths of like a glory hole And so a guy on the other side stuck his dick through so the goal was just drunk and started sucking him off But it was one of these ones apparently where like if like she pushes a button and the guy pushes the button on the other side they can kind of see who's on the other side like it makes it like transparent like a window so they can see and so being drunk she thought it'd be hilarious to push his button just to see who she'd been sucking off and so she pushes the button and looks up and it's her dad on the other side.
I'll tell you how that makes, I'll tell you where it could have even been worse. Imagine if you went to a glory hall.
Imagine. A penis comes through.
Right. It's your dead dad.
It's my dead dad. He's dead.
He's dead. So before it was cold then.
Oh, your tongue gets stuck to it. Like it's a pole.
Do you really think this happened? I don't know. This girl.
But if I was the dad. Do we know this girl? No.
A glory hole, Rudy, is just a place where adults go and they put their genitals through a literal hole in the wall and they don't know who's on the other side and they get pleasure. What? And somebody else socks it from the other side.
Yeah. In this scenario, there was a door, like a window thing.
Yeah. And then they got to see each other.
That's just scary. Carlos does it all the time.
Yeah, Carlos does it all the time. She found the hole at a place called cuckoldplace.com.
I guess that's like the name of a...

Oh, Carlos, play dumb.

I guess that's a website that you've literally been to.

How'd you get this story, you fuckface?

Yeah, that's the story.

What would you do?

I mean...

It was your daughter.

KMS.

You what?

I'd kill myself.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

On site.

Oh, you make a deal.

Yeah, I meant to deal with the devil just that moment when I put my dad...

No, no, no.

You make a deal with your dad.

Don't ever tell anybody.

No, that's just dad.

Very good, by the way.

Nice penis, but don't tell mom.

Let's not even.

This never happened.

Okay.

And then at the, you know, Christmas is weird.

He's going to be drunk at a party and you're going to fucking beat him in a game of Scrabble.

And he's like, remember that time you sucked my dick?

Oh, yeah.

He's going to do that every time. Oh, yes.
That's what dads do. That's true.
They hold that stuff. That's what they do.
Like, what would happen? I'd bleach my tongue and then kill myself. Yeah, you want to get it off the tongue first.
Oh, you got to get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like gargle it. What does it say on your shirt? Property of? It's another anime show.
Hey, so are you going to outgrow anime at some point? I don't think so. No, you'll do it forever? Forever.
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Displate, collect your passions. What have you been doing in your life? I want to know what have you been doing.
I've been taking a birth control and I've been going crazy. What the? What is going on? You've been taking a birth control? Yeah, and I'm like going crazy.
I'm like mad. I want to kill someone.
Why did you start taking birth control at 22 years old? Because my acne. I don't even care about sex.
It's just my acne that Tito Bobby bullies me every time. You don't have acne.
He's the one with the pimple patch on right now. Because I've been taking the birth control.
She doesn't have acne. I don't bully you.
You bully me. Every time you see me.
I go, Rocky Mountain High. When I look at your face, I know that I do that, but that's just a joke.
It's a joke. Wait a minute.
You know what I mean? So you're 22 years old now, right? 21. Okay, 21.
When do you turn 22? Next one. Yeah, you're 22.
Shut up. You're 22.
I can't believe it. Loser.
I remember you were in high school. I know.
It was insane. Started the show when she was in high school.
It's incredible. So you're 22, and you just started taking birth control.
Who told you to do this? Your doctor? Yeah. Why? Because of my acne.
And then she said, oh, just take the NuvaRing. It's like a small.
They're a small they're always just shoving medications down isn't that funny how quick they are to just prescribe stuff why would you take it don't take it wait it's this big what are you talking about the circle and you just put it in your butthole why in the butthole that's where i put mine oh i put mine there yeah put my nuva ring up my butthole yeah put it in there. Yeah, and it just stays there for three weeks.

And then I'm just.

And you're.

Are you.

I don't want to.

Are you still seeing that guy?

Yeah.

How's that going?

How's that going?

Fine. We haven't.

We haven't done it, but in like four months.

So it's fine.

Why?

Because I don't know. I'm just not.
Four months? That is over. At 21 years old, I was spewing with semen.
Yeah, yeah. I was dripping out of my eyeballs.
Okay, but you're a guy. She's waiting for Zorro.
Zorro. If he dyed his hair green, would it be? Yeah, tell your guy to dye his head no i need the real zoro no but why four really four months yeah i just don't like sex right now yeah that's okay i'm actually better off with that side no i like this yeah i mean i like it i like that you're not but it's like save yourself for marriage marriage whatever no okay i just right now I'm not no I mean, I like it.
I like that you're not, but it's like... Save yourself for marriage.
Marriage. Whatever.
No? Okay. Just right now, I'm not.
No, I mean save it for someone that you want to... Obviously, it sounds like you're going to break up.
Really? Yeah. What 21-year-old is...
It's over. How are you hooking up with someone once every four months that you're dating? It's over.
It doesn't make sense. You know it's over, right? Yeah.
I still like him. i like it like yeah you like hanging out with him as a friend no not a friend no you're not a friend do you guys kiss still peck oh but no tongue no i don't like it this guy goes home and cries at night is that a generational thing no some people don't want tongues in their mouth do you like tongue your tongue no you've talked my tongue yeah i have yeah but i kind of like it yeah so my my point is you do when your wife's still tongue when you get married yeah there is moments for for tongue kissing but during the course of the day oh you don't know not during the day no but there's moments when tongue kissing is yeah but it's it's not as frequent as it was when you're young and but you still you're still not it.
No, I like it. Exactly.
But it's situation dependent. She doesn't like it.
Okay, but it's the same thing as I don't like, you know, touching. Oh, intimacy.
Like the key ingredients to having a relationship. Yeah.
You don't like physical affirmation. No.
You don't want him to touch you even like hug. You don't like him to hug.
No, even when he does that,

I'm... Yeah, that's not good.

It's dead.

It's a dead thing.

That's...

Why are you doing this

with your eyes?

Because I'm sweating.

I'm being honest.

Yeah, yeah.

Do you think...

I'm not making a joke.

Do you think maybe

you don't like boys?

I'm lesbian?

I didn't say it.

It's okay if you were.

But do you think

maybe you don't like boys?

I don't know. Atikalila thinks I'm a lesbian.
That's because she's a lesbian. Like she keeps, I really think she's a lesbian.
She is. She dated you for the longest time.
Well, Sarah, when I dated, as soon as I. You flipped so many women.
Yeah, Sarah Hyland, I was dating for years. And when we broke up, she never went back to men.
Am I the fucking last? What was that movie where... Nobody can compete with you.
What was the movie where every woman slept with a guy so they could get married finally? What was that called? It was a Dane Cook movie. Yeah, what was that called? Good Luck Chuck? Yeah.
You're Dane Cook. You're a good luck luck chuck but for women wow you've made two girls go to the other team i know maybe honestly maybe you don't like boys or maybe you don't like this boy but maybe you don't like boys maybe maybe you don't like anybody you could be uh what is asexual right or no is that right yeah yeah maybe i don't know yeah maybe people don't interest you sexually and you're just want to i just like being like in their company but not like touching or like physical you sound like so you don't cuddle ever like when we're watching a movie you don't go like i'm just like that and then he's there and then when he tries i'm just like no okay wow God God that must be heartbreaking.
It's so heartbreaking. He's got to leave you.
How old is he? 21. Oh God.
Yeah he's got to get out. This idiot.
What an idiot. He's got to be heartbroken.
But I'm nice. It's just.
Yeah we know. Hey guy.
You know who I'm talking to. Break it up.
Break it up. It's not working.
It's not working. Yeah.
Find somebody else. So you think I...
Why don't you just be single? Why are you in a relationship if you don't really like this guy so much? It's your family, dude. My family? Yeah, it's in the blood, dude.
What do you mean? I've dated your family. Staying with someone for two months.
No, they're just like... Yeah, no.
Yeah, I get it. Get out.
Get out. Yeah.
It's just weird, man. I'll think about it.
Tuck, tuck. You gotta get out gotta get out Tuck tuck Let me tell you how much I love Filipinos My physical therapist Is Filipino Love this guy Love He uses all those Filipino tricks of the trade That you guys have back there Like what? He hits me in the back With Little tiny Like little sticks With bugs all over them He says that's home country.
That's what he says. And it's getting all the impurities out of my back.
He licks my feet, which he said is a thing that they do in the Philippines. Do you lick feet? Well, I had a cousin that they said that she had healing saliva, so she would just lick everyone and that it would heal everything.
So I did make my part up but it is so beautiful that yours was real. You had someone who...
She's like the Filipino Theo Vaughn. I know, yeah.
He's like, someone in my village would lick the sickness right out of you. That is insane.
I've never heard anything like that. That's crazy.
You're saying the saliva had magical powers? Everyone thought that she had magical powers because every time she would lick, like something would like. Heal right.
Yeah, it would heal. Wow.
It was like their Wolverine would just close right up. Yeah.
That's insane. Some kid in the neighborhood has like a broken arm.
Yeah, yeah. She's like, come over here.

Like,

Lix is broke.

Yeah.

Whoa.

That's what she did.

And you saw it firsthand. Yeah.

Have you been healed by her?

No.

No.

No.

You gotta see this later.

But I remember my sister

was like,

had a fever

and she licked her forehead.

There's no way. No.
No, there's a way she did that. I'm not sure she did it.
And the girl got healed from embarrassment. She was like, I'm okay now.
Yeah. She could have died that night.
She wouldn't have told anybody. She was so embarrassed.
Yeah. Maybe it's psychological.
Well, everyone thought, so I believed it. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
My grandmother, yeah. How many people in your village had magical powers? My Lola.
My grandma. Like you said, with your physical therapist, he would...
Hit me with bug sticks. She didn't use bugs.
And I made that up. She used leaves and stuff, and she would put it on on like the wound.
Yeah, palm fronds. Yeah, that's not magical.
That's not magical. That's ancient Chinese techniques.
There was this old lady who we thought was like a mananangal. Oh, a mananangal.
Well, we've had three of those growing up. I had three mananangals growing up.
I used to have a mananangal underneath my balls for like a year and a half. I had to get it removed.
So expensive though. They're like $3,000 a month to rent one.
It's a mythical creature. Exactly.
And they're hard to find. Yeah, they really are.
Yeah. So you thought someone in your village was a Mananangal? Yeah, and then there was- You know where you can find a Mananangal? In the taint of a Bigfoot.
That's right. That's where Manalangal is.
Yeah, yeah. They cling on, right? You know how sometimes sharks, they have other fishes that clean their skin? That's what a Manalangal does to a Bigfoot.
So that's how I got mine. And a Loch Ness Monster, if you can find one.
Okay, I have another one. I have another one.
So they said that, okay, so there was like a bunch of like pregnant women in my village.

Yeah. And then they said that there was this lady, an old lady that would come at night.

And then she had like a really long tongue.

And then she would go to their room and would lick the baby.

The baby would die.

What?

Wait a minute. Wait, so Were these women getting an abortion? I don't know.
And they blamed it on a long-tongued woman? Yeah, yeah. They were just shoving hangers up there and were just like...
He has like a Planned Parenthood fucking... That's what my grandma told me.
That's what your grandma said. She would go down on women.
Maybe she was related to the other lady with the tongue. The lick lady? The lick family.
The lick family. Yeah, yeah.
One kills, one heals. I'm bing bong lick.
Muck muck lick. Yeah.
That's insane. Yeah.
So she, the myth that I really, this is why I love the Philippines. They have, they believe, they all believe that perhaps this woman tongue could go inside of another woman and kill the baby.
Yeah. And they believe that.
Yeah. Everybody believes that.
Yeah, we were scared. I was scared too.
I'm scared now. You know? That's insane.
Yeah, and my mom was pregnant and I kept like, I was so scared for her. Thinking that the long tongue was gonna come.
Yeah. Now, was the woman's name Long Tongue? Is that a Filipino name, Long Tongue? No, I don't know.
I forgot her name. Something- Stick out your tongue.
Is your tongue long? Whoa. That is a long tongue.
That's a long tongue, dude. You could be it.
You could have the thing. I'd do that.
You'd kill babies with your tongue? You're so lunatic. Yeah.
Lick a baby, you lunatic. She blows the guy.
He's like, ah! Ah! You're killing it! I'm killing it. but I think what we're learning is that Rudy needs to go through a serious, unfortunate breakup.
And we can be there for you. But I do think you need to break up.
How are you going to do it? No, I can't do it. All right.
Bobby is the kid, whatever his name is. Bobby's him.
Break up with him now. Hey, Drew, how you doing? Don't do that accent.
That's what it sounds like. You want it to be real or not? Yo, Jew.
What are you doing? Does he call her Jew? I don't know. Okay.
Okay. Joey? Yeah, yeah.
What's up? It's me. You want to go watch a movie? No, let's talk.
Oh, shit. What do you want to talk about? Okay.
Well, first of all, can I can I say something to you okay the first time I ever saw you it was like I seen myself and being too loud me first me first me first look can I say something first though I'm gonna tell you just something I never felt love I never I never love in my life. I didn't even know what love was until I met you.
And then once I met you, I felt like I was at home. Okay, done.
Hold on. Let me finish.
Let me finish because I wrote this down and I want to get this off my chest. Why are you seeing it now? Because I don't know.
It's just what a beautiful day. What a beautiful day.
And today I have the courage to do it. All right.
So I also want to say, can I tell you something? It's like, I would do anything for you. I would lay my life down for you.
And it's so weird because we're not family or nothing like that. You know, I wouldn't even do that with my own dad.
But with you, I would die for you. Do you know why? I love you, your soul.
Hey guys, I made you Chachita Pizza Rose. Thank you so much.
We love it. You love the Chachita Pizza Rose? What are you guys talking about? Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, tell me what you were going to say to me. I'm your mom.
I don't know, mom. You make the best pizza pizza rose of the world.
What did you want to say to my son? Oh, Chita, this is private. You can go.
Okay, I can stay. No, my mom stay because remember I told you last night about her? Yeah, you don't, she doesn't give you head.
I know, aside from that. Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, yeah.
I will stay. No tongue work.
No tongue, I will stay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway. What is it? Yeah, what is it? Tita, do you want to watch a movie? No.

No.

I'm okay here.

Mom, stay here.

I will.

Tell me what you're about to say to me.

Okay, Joey.

Yes.

Love of my life.

Sweet dream.

He really does love you. I love you, sweet dream.

So rude.

That's my mom.

Don't shush my mom.

Sorry, sorry.

Okay, Joey. Yeah, yeah, yeah Don't shush my mom.
Sorry, sorry. Okay, Joey.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Listen.

I'm listening.

Love.

Okay.

Sweet love.

Go.

Oh.

Shut up.

Oh, so sexy.

Don't say that to my son.

He will come.

When you tell him to shut up.

Okay, Joey, Joey, Joey.

I'm about to come right now.

Joey, let's be serious. Yeah.
I don't... I don't like you anymore.
Mom. Mom.
Do you have a mirror at home? Have you seen what your face looked like? I know. Out of my house.
Mom, go get the shakal. Mom, get the shakal.
He's gonna kill you. No, no, no.
No, mom. I thought I was the love of your life.
No, you are. Give me the gum, mom.
You got it. Thank you.
Oh, yay. Confetti.
You broke up with him. Yeah.
And that's what's going to happen. You want to do it, though.
I can tell. Yeah.
No, I don't want.

I feel like I just want my own space right now.

You guys don't live together?

How many times a week do you see him?

No, because we're classmates.

So I see him every day.

At school.

Every day.

I see.

That's what fucks it up.

What class?

Biology and chemistry.

And you're not excited to see him?

No, because I just hate school. And so I hate him because I hate school.
Yeah. How much school do you have? Do you have one year left? Yeah, one year left.
One year left. Oh, wow.
When you drive and you park, is it, are you depressed? I'm just not excited about anything. Nothing is making you happy right now.
Except one piece. Oh my god.
Zorro. Zorro is the only thing that makes you happy.
Yeah, I've been binging it and I watch it until 4am. Oh my god.
That's all I enjoy right now. She needs medicine.
I have a question. Do you guys have road rage? Bespoke Post! You guys, I can't wait for the holidays because Bespoke Post has a box of awesome and what it is, it's the best gifts you can give anybody.
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What's in there? Oh, the Porter lunchbox. Oh, so someone can take their lunch to work.
I love stuff like this, huh? Yeah. You know, a little lunch holder, a little sandwich holder.
I'm a big sandwich holder guy, but also, that's not it, my friends. Also, huh? Look at this.
What is it? It's a lunch sack. It's like a cute little lunch sack to go to school.
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I shot and killed a guy on the PCH. Yeah, I remember that.
Six or seven years ago. That was hard.
Hard, hard hard hard hard and i and i got acquitted because it was self-defense self-defense on what he tried to hit my car and i they pulled over a pullover they got on the 101 yeah and then um it was tragic but it wasn't even you didn't even kill him though you hit him over the pipe. 23 times, something like that.
Yeah, 23, 24 times. But I got acquitted.
Yeah. So, no, not really.
I don't think I have it anymore. Because you know why? Because it was his pipe.
The other guy's pipe. It was his.
It was out of his pipe. And he got it out of his hand.
And out of self-defense, he was swinging like this. What pipe? What's pipe? A metal pipe? Where did you get the pipe? It was on the side of the road.
How did they get the pipe early? No, honestly, how did they get the pipe? My super good friend Mario. My super friend Mario always has pipes on him.
Okay. And then you hit it 22 times? 23.
23. The sound of a pipe on someone's head is hilarious.
Skull. I'd say skull.
Ping. Yeah, yeah.
Ping, ping, ping, ping. Crack, crack.
Yeah. It's okay, but you know what was crazy? What? What you were wearing in trial.
That skirt? Yeah, the skirt. It was crazy that you would wear that.
I wanted to show my legs. Well, I think you were trying to do the trans empathy thing.
Well, there was a jury filled with LGBTQ plus people. Yeah, yeah.
So smart. Yeah, you gotta play to your crowd.
Yeah, you dyed your hair purple. Right.
It was incredible. We should dye my hair at least once.
Yeah. Do I have road rage? You know what I do is I used to scream, right? But then I realized there's nothing I can do if we pull over.
So what I do is I'll put scream right but then I realized there's nothing I can do if we pull over So what I do is I'll put my head down and I look at my jeans or my pants and I'll so they can't see my face You scream down yeah Yeah, that's mean that's at least better than doing something yeah, I don't do. I just scream downward so they don't see me.
Do you have road rage? I develop one. Why? Because I've been driving a lot.
So I've been screaming and like whenever something happens, I just do that. What? Where are you driving to? School? School, work.
And I'm just like, fuck you. Do you never get you never get recognized no from mad pat friends at school sometimes like like when i walk after um work sometimes there's like film students who say oh are you rudy yeah what do you say it's like uh yeah and then what do they say and i say oh can i take a picture and I say yeah sure and then I just run

you run away

you take fitted photos with them

yeah because they ask

wow

are there any hot guys that do it

no

no

our fans yeah I know our fans

they're great people

film students

huh

she said film students

they're serious people

but she said hot guys

there's no like

what hot

hot people don't like

regular people like our show

yeah

but they're all beautiful

no they're beautiful

in their own way

yeah yeah yeah

Thank you. But she said hot guy.
This is like, what hot people don't like? Regular people like our show. Yeah.
But they're all beautiful. No, they're beautiful in their own way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they're not supermodels.
We don't get supermodels. That's true.
But do you have anyone that you are attracted to that does it? No. Any girls? Probably no girls.
No, no girls. It's all boys that recognize me.
Yeah, yeah. It's always boys.
It's always boys, yeah. It's always boys.
How does it feel, though, when that happens? Be real. I always get shy, and I always look so ugly at school.
Yeah. And they ask for a picture, and I'm just like, oh.
But do you feel popular, though, or no? No. Do you ever dress up, or is this kind of always it? This is it.
Yeah. I dig it.
You're allowed to do whatever you want. Yeah.
Yeah. Feel free.
The next generation, I don't think people, I don't think like, do you think people will wear suits in like 20 years? Do you think suits will still be a thing? Well, suits was a thing for hundreds of years. Not hundreds.
Oh, yeah. In the early 1800s had suits.
Their own versions of it. Yeah.
different styles, right? There's been different styles of stuff. Yeah, I mean...
But I don't think suits will keep going. I think we're at the end of the suit.
You think so? I think so. Are we in the age of the sweats? Look.
We're in the age of the sweats. The age of sweats, the end of suit, COVID finish off menswear.
That's an American theme though. What do you mean? That's where people dress the worst.
Dude, have you seen European jeans with all their little sparkles and little fucking stupid? Classy. The fuck are you talking about? We dress the worst.
We're the epicenter of fashion. Of fashion, dude.
The fuck are you talking about? Yeah. But yeah, the industry is here.
Everything that the world likes, world likes we did yeah but you don't wear it yeah we make it for you losers to buy we know we tell our chinese friends to make it for all you idiots to buy now could i could i say that america has the best restaurants no i could say that france probably has the best in terms of the best restaurants in the world i don't know i. I'd say we probably have the same.
But we still, we can compete. But with fashion, we beat everyone.
We do all the shit. Because we're multicultural.
So we have different kinds of fashion. Yeah, but here, for example, kids dress so badly at school.
That's the style. What do you make kids wear in Spain? I don't know.
People just dress up a little more. Here's like they wear their pajamas.
Because going to school is a big deal for you. Yeah, it's like the Crocs and the pajamas.
Yeah, but it's not a big deal for us. Right.
Also, they can't afford to dress up. She just spent 100 grand on school.
I think he has a skewed idea. Can I ask you about, i was at therapy yesterday yeah and we were talking about high school and um i asked her i go how do you feel about peer counsel not peer counsel career counseling so when i was a freshman and so every year actually i would go in and every year we would have to see this career counselor and every year they would go go, yeah, just take wood shop.
Well, that's good. To me, right? It's actually good.
Because my grades were terrible. I have no skill set, right? That's not true.
No, at the time, right? I knew that I had these, you know, powers. You know, not the licking powers to heal the sick, but like, you know, real human powers, right? And so all through high school, I thought, oh, I'm a loser.
I have no other options because all these other kids are like, oh yeah, my career counselor said I should be an attorney or an engineer or whatever, right? And I got wood shop and steel shop every fucking- Did you ever take wood? No, I refused to, but also my parents were like, no, no wood. You can't do that.
Koreans are scared of wood. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're scared of wood, right? Driftwood? Are you crazy? We have fucking PTSD. Nightmares about driftwood.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway.
Farring a tree. Oh, my God.
I can't sleep now for a week. I pointed at farting a tree.
If a tree falls into my dreams, we will kill my whole family. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Probably.
Yeah. Can you make anything by hand? Did you learn to make anything by hand? Can you sew? I would make I mean Can you sew? I can make like little sculptures With meth scabs Ooh I used to get these meth scabs When I did meth Do you know Do you know how to sew? No I feel like that's in your blood A little bit Yeah I'm sure I could fuck it up Right I put you out in front of a singer sewing machine i bet you can fuck it yeah you want some nikes too but um but you know what sucks is they don't they don't give you the other options in high school in america right they don't go okay so um you're funny like if they said you know i heard you're funny what direction would would they would they point you and they're like what about improv or comedy but that's not even a this it's not an option right when it can anything artistic is an option in american schools yeah they don't go all like well they just say wait till you're done you'll you'll be better off but they never even said that they're like woodshot what does woodshot mean making stuff out of wood i know but it's like that's only future.
There's a billion other things you can do, but they don't fucking- Imagine Bobby Lee the carpenter. How fucking- Oh, I would make fucking furniture better than Jesus.
He actually wasn't good at all. Some of his pieces are really bad.
Yeah, they're like, Ikea. Ikea from back then.
They're always missing one knob. They're like, where's the Corgan Scrooger? Why's that gone gone yeah um no i i get that i high school's tough because it's it's placing you in a very broad box of shit when you're like i don't like any of that stuff yeah i like if also akira if they said oh you like to fuck huh you should be a porn star yeah yeah but now they might do that in schools they might be like look only fans is rightFans is right for you.
Dude, but that's a thing. But they probably don't do it.
Well, we should. Just like in my high school, Poway High, they don't view my fucking power.
They don't view what I do as a talent. That's why I'm not in the Hall of Fame.
Right. And I agree with them.
In what way? Because. Are you in the Hall of Fame in your school? No.

Why would I be? I'm a fucking dick.

What's your school? I'm not in the Hall of Fame. No, what's your school?

What's your school? What high school?

Bartholomew Boys.

Are you being real? Bartholomew Boys.

If you're not, I swear to God, Bartholomew.

Bartholomew.

Bartholomew.

Bartholomew Boys.

School.

Boys. You went to an old boys school? Yes In what? Chicago? Chicago Bartholomew School That's where you went Well, you're not lying Okay, and then Andrew Santino What high school did Andrew Santino go to? He went to Naperville North High School That's right You fucking lying Piece of shit dude Hall of Fame I can't wait There's no Hall of Fame Yes they do right here North do.
Right here. Okay.
North Athletics. What the fuck? See? Athletes.
It's all athletes. It's all athletes.
Yeah. Yeah.
Again, what we do isn't special. Okay.
No. If you go to North...
Naperville, North High School. Is that what it is? Mm-hmm.
And you go to... It'll have it.
athletics, notable alumni. Yeah, you're a notable alumni.
Here we go. So are you.
You're a notable alumni. Let me ask you if you know any of these guys.
Adrian Holovaty. Oh, God, I love Holovaty.
What did he do? He's a rocket scientist. No.
James Holzhauer. James Holzhauer was the Jeopardy champion.
Fuck yeah, dude. Well, everybody knows that He was fucking like Oh really? One of the best champions of all time Yeah Let's go to S There we go You're in it Well yeah It's just a stand up comedian Yeah but that's it I'm not in like a hall of fame I'm just a guy that went to school there How does that feel to be honest? Bob Odenkirk went to your school? Yeah the Odenkirks yeah Whoa dude-huh bob that's cool yeah pretty rad yeah his is long

comedian actor writer director and producer a lot of a lot of stuff he deserves it yeah

he's very talented okay let me ask you who this is um

lavelle brown played football whoa dude that's fucking good no this is not that hard

did you know no i mean no no can we go more try paul britain he was on snl yeah can i ask you why this did you put on a pimple patch on the pimple on your chin so what happened this last night i put a pimple patch on and then when i was driving here it looks worse i know when i was driving here just leave it as a pimple. When I was driving here.
Yeah.

I took off the patch.

And it looks more noticeable because of the sweater. Stop, stop.

Let me finish.

The sweater's yellow.

Your skin is yellow.

Let me finish.

The pimple is yellow and red.

It's me and you on your face.

I know.

Let me just finish.

Yeah.

So I was driving here.

Had the pimple patch from last night.

Well, you left it on.

You're not supposed to leave it on for a whole day.

But I did.

Good.

You slept in it.

Yeah. And I looked in the rear view window.
Mirror. Mirror.
Mirror. Imagine if it was a window.
Right? And I saw a white head. Me.
Just poking up. Yeah.
So then I fucking peeled it.

Yeah.

I popped it and it was oozing blood.

So I took the fucking patch and I put it back on.

No, idiot.

That's you.

You're supposed to do when it's dry and not bleeding.

And it did it do the damn effect that I thought it was going to do.

Let me see.

I mean, it just looks it looks like a flooded pimple patch.

Like it's a full diaper on your chin.

Why do you still have pimples?

Why would you be your 50?

Two.

And you know what, dude?

That kind of taught me.

You're going to get a lot of shit sprayed on the toilets this week.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, you want sprays?

Hold on.

Stop!

Oh, it looks hilarious now.

Now it's leaking.

How much money?

Stop!

Can I put this on you?

No.

Please.

Can I put this on you? No. Ten grand.
No put this on you? No. 10 grand.
Stop. Stop.
I'll have pimples. What? Stop it.
Stop it. Can I just put it on your face? Put it on to Andrew.
No, no. Lick it.
All right. Eat it.
No. What if I ate this? Well, it's your right.
That's not going to bother anybody. What are you doing? Can I tell you? These pants.
What? These pants are fucking fun. Which pants? Go up to the front there.
Show off your pants. Empty your pockets.
Empty your pockets first. Look at these slacks.
These are sexy. They're so tight.
Let me see. Go forward a little bit so I can see more.
Will you spin around for the camera?

You are a little sex machine.

These are soccer pants, aren't they?

No, I don't know what they are.

I got them when we were on the road one day.

But I'll tell you why I like them.

I'm going to wear them tomorrow to go to Denver.

I really like them.

I like when you wear tight stuff.

It turns me on.

I had a panic attack in line the other day,

like a full-on panic attack.

What happened?

I was going to order a salad,

and I was on the phone with the wife,

and she didn't know what she wanted,

but it was already my turn.

And I was doing a build-your-own salad.

And I was freaking out,

because she would change the order as I'm ordering it, and the guy's, no, no check piece Air One? Huh? Where were you? Air One? No, no, no Air One? I've walked in there once I walked out Oh, I hang out there all day long I know you do. What's up? People that don't know, Air One is like an overtly pretentious overpriced market I bought that $50 water Oh, you got that one? I still get it now.
I get this little bottle that's $50 water. Why? What is in it? I want to try it.
Oxygen. Top water.
Oh, it's oxygenated water? So good. No, it's top water.
No, it's real. I drink it and I get fizzy-eyed.
Let me see. What is Air One $50 water? Don't make fun of me.
I'm just saying. No, I'm gonna.
That's insane. It's $50 American dollars.
Exactly the same as the woman who licks babies. She probably started that company.
That's not it. Not Mountain Valley.
No, I know. It's $26.
Zoom in. I'll tell you what the brand is.
Oh, that's $40. That bottle.
bottle That's it Yeah, $30 A $30 bottle of just a regular bottle of water Yeah What is it? It's oxygenated water, it's from the heavens But it's a wobby, you have a filtered Shut the fuck up with the filter Shut the fuck up with the filter Every time you fuck Shut the fuck up with the filter. All right.
Go up. Go up.
This says nano pure. Go up.
This says nano pure. It's nano pure.
Hyper oxygenated and restructured. Dude, they restructure the water for your mouth.
I can feel it in my body. It's like it's going down different channels.
What's H2O? What is H2O? Oxygen hydrogen and water and aqua Aqua dude, okay, what could be re-engineered? Infused with an unmatched level of bioavailable dissolved oxygen 40 plus PP Humans get it re-engineered now What yeah, they do I want to be a woman now trend people who trends yeah, that's it's water so can now do you can soak in it and drink it do you drink it after you soak in it they have a wellness spa dude you need that I need that so bad yeah get a quote didn't $30,000 probably for that little all right whoa a pool oh my god oh for your pool organically fresh sanity all right totally saltwater all right can I right. Can I say something? Can I say something? Okay.
Why did we get Oh, for our water? Sorry? No, no, no. We had guests on.
We had Are You Garbage on. Oh, and you got them fancy water? No, no, no.
And we go, we want you to see if there's a difference between the two waters. And we did a taste test.
And did they? We all said, Oh, four is number one. There's something about it when you drink it.
Your mouth goes, ah. It's a Christmas.
A breath of relief. Yeah.
It's the best water, dude. I don't believe that water can be that much better.
Look at the Mexicans. The Mexicans.
Well, if they like it. Mexicans make it? Just like everything else.
It turns out the Mexicans are making it. You like good sushi.
It's not made. It's great water.
It's Mexicans. Yeah.
You like good water. It's Mexican.
And will you try it though? By the way, will you try it? It's Mexicans. I love Mexicans.
No, I know they make everything. Will you try it? No, I'm not buying it.
I'm going to buy you. I don't want $30 water.
There's good reviews, Andrew. Yeah.
Give me the, Oh, there's good reviews. Let me read.
Let me read. Ashley, white, and white people know their shit.
Do not trust white people. White people love water, dude.
Do they not? I don't... Do we trust white people? No.
In terms of water, yes. No.
Yeah. So here, this is what Ashley...
What do you mean white people... A4 is simply the best water I've ever tasted.
I am a healing arts practitioner. The consumption of clean, pure, structured water is one of the most critical components of health.
What is structured water? If you haven't tasted it, you don't even know. But when you drink it, you go, oh my God, that's structured.
I would recommend it all day long. I drink so much that- It's like drinking dirt water now.
This. She goes, I drink so much that 10 pounds melted away but this is generated that's fake that's real people yeah she lost 10 pounds what's her name what's her name what's her name Deb no one's been named Deb in 100 fucking years every Deb is dead give me more reviews only two yeah six total reviews of this bullshit go down to the bottom this is the biggest crock of shit on earth go down to the way bottom yeah right there yeah dr jeff let me zoom in i'm gonna say what he says and i'm gonna say thank you for my family's been drinking oxygen water for the past year my nine-year-olds hardly ever get sick now this is cockamamie bullshit it's so.
This guy's trying to pitch you that your water fucking makes you not

get sick. It's so crazy you say that because I have...
Go suck on

a COVID doorknob. I had COVID.

That's like the leaking lady. It's the same thing.

You guys are so stupid.

You know what I hate about you guys right now, dude?

What? What do you not like about

us? I'll tell you what you don't like. When Coke 1 came

out. Coke 1?

Yeah. When they redid Coke?

Zero. Coke Zero? No.
The one. Original Coke.
no the one original coke oh no coke what was it called what was it called when they reinvented coke new coke new coke that's not there was no new coke yeah they yeah what in the 80s new coke in the 80s you weren't even live you fucking they got rid of old coke and and they go, I'm new. It was just Coke.
And then the people went, we don't like it. But a lot of people didn't try it.
Did you know that? A lot of people didn't try it. We bottled a big can of shit.
We bottled human poop, and a lot of people didn't like it. but they didn't try it.
What I'm saying is try it. You're such a marketing major.
Dude, I'm the best. You are.
I'll try it. I'm telling you that water, I'm going to give everyone a bottle of fucking $30 water.
Please, you buy it. I'll buy it.
Bring it in here. And then put it in your fridge, let it chill.
And in the morning, wake up, take a shot of it, and and then you see i'll tell you what i like i

like crystal clear pepsi when it came out what was that and no one liked it no one liked it and it got pulled off the shelves and you know why nobody liked it they didn't try it and i hate crystal clear pepsi and you never had it look at look at it it was clear it was literally clear pepsi you can still buy it on the internet today it was so good i don't know why i liked it so much so here's the deal for next week go back

to the story what you're in you're in line with the the salad oh yeah and i couldn't get it right

they kept dumping out the ingredients i kept going back and forth and i had such a i had such a moment

of fear that i anyway thank you for being a bad friend. Perfect.

You didn't say amalgamation.

Yeah, I literally did say amalgamation.

Did he say it?

Yeah.

You got the wood shop.

Yeah, that's why you couldn't do wood shop.

And because Bobby gave all he can in that one,

let me tell you something.

We're giving you guys a higher discount. Yeah.
Woo. Yeah.

Woo.

Yeah.

Woo.

Yeah.