One Million Subscribers & Happy Birthday Andrew

Speaker 1 This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians.

Speaker 1 These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save.

Speaker 1 Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations.

Speaker 2 Hello, hello, Hello. I'm Thomas B.
Jefferson Adams III.

Speaker 2 And I'm William Randolph's guest on

Speaker 2 the first. The first.
We're coming to Washington, D.C.

Speaker 2 This weekend. October 21st, Harry.
October 21st. Harry, Harry.
We're going to be here in D.C. this weekend.
You got to come out and see the boys. Go to badfriendspod.com.

Speaker 2 Next weekend, we're in Denver, then Milwaukee, Chicago, Minneapolis, and then Madison. But this weekend, Washington, D.C.
Come to Washington, D.C. Come respect your forefathers.

Speaker 2 Go to badfriendspod.com. bad friendspod.com, bad friendspod.com.
You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 2 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 2 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 2 We're bad friends.

Speaker 2 Happy birthday to you, my friend. Happy birthday to you.
I got you.

Speaker 2 I have two presents. I have one coming in the mail, but it hasn't come yet.
But I got you one gift. Sushi?

Speaker 2 Well, open it. Okay.
Are you going to be real? I hope it's sushi. It's not.
Come on. Oh, dude.
What is it? Open it. Happy birthday, buddy.

Speaker 2 What did you get me for my birthday? Did you get me anything?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I got you.

Speaker 2 That's a lie.

Speaker 3 No, I literally got you one.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 You don't like it? Wow.

Speaker 2 Who told you to get this? No one. You liar.

Speaker 2 A brand new

Speaker 2 Pro X3.

Speaker 2 Pro X3. Something, something.
A A brand new range finder for the golf course. This is so nice.
Yeah, it's a nice one, huh? Did you open it up? Why is it not wrapped? I don't know why.

Speaker 2 They sent it me that way. So it's been used.
You bought a used rangefinder. No, I swear to God I didn't.
You bought me a used rangefinder

Speaker 2 for my birthday? I think it's right straight from the fucking range finder place. Is this wish.com? No, I got it from the.
I'll give you my receipt. I don't know why I came that way.
This is so cool.

Speaker 2 This is like one of the best models. I know.
I got you it. I have another thing better even coming.
Even better than this.

Speaker 2 Really? I can't believe it. Yeah.
Wow. I can't even believe that this is real right here.
Yeah, dude. I feel like this is a scam.
It's going to explode.

Speaker 2 Happy birthday, dude. Thank you, dude.
I love you. Because, you know, I've never given you anything.
That's right. And there was a sense of guilt.
There should be. And shame.

Speaker 2 This is so nice. Yeah.
And I did some research. You did? Yeah.
I've never researched it. And I usually get like standard shit.
Yeah. Starbucks card.
You know what I mean? Nothing.

Speaker 2 Nothing is the most. Yeah, this is my favorite gift to give is nothing.
A brand new nothing from the factory. I got to tell you, sometimes a brand new nothing is incredible.
It's incredible, dude.

Speaker 2 And can I say? Yeah. Best gift I've gotten in years.
Are you being real? I sort of got it. You wait for the second one, though.
You're going to love it.

Speaker 3 Okay. I'll get mine.

Speaker 2 Okay, let's see what it is. Ooh, I'm excited for this.
And by the way, in the meantime, we're celebrating our 1 million subscriber.

Speaker 2 Can I just say, though, though?

Speaker 2 That's from a golden chicken.

Speaker 2 You got me a golden chicken leg. Is that fake? Is it like a toy?

Speaker 3 No, it's real.

Speaker 2 You know what? It's real. It's a real chicken leg, dude.
Wait, you're a real sad this is from Kentucky fried chicken? Jolly bee.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, the jolly bee. Yeah, jolly bee.
Wait, you got you a jolly bee?

Speaker 3 I didn't cook this.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Did you have to touch it? I'm clean up. Ooh.
Ooh, happy birthday, dude. Thank you, dude.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, so good.

Speaker 2 I'm so good. You think I'm just going to eat?

Speaker 2 You came in with one single piece of chicken. Where was this transported inside of?

Speaker 3 A bucket.

Speaker 2 Where's the bucket? There. Get the bucket.
Get the bucket. We don't trust it.
We don't trust it.

Speaker 2 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me say something.
There's more than one chicken finger in the bucket. He gets one? Whoa, whoa.
Give him the bucket. Give me the bucket.

Speaker 3 Okay, let me just be honest. I didn't give you a gift.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I know. No shit.
No shit. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. How dumb do you think I am?

Speaker 3 This was for the Filipino American months.

Speaker 2 Wait!

Speaker 2 That's how I feel. That's how I feel about Filipino American.
Clean it up, McCone, right now. Yeah, yeah.
Get in here and pick up the chicken off the floor. I didn't, first of all, vote for it.

Speaker 2 I would have checked no on it. Insane.
Insane, dude. That you didn't get me a gift and then you brought me a

Speaker 2 fake

Speaker 2 offering. It was a fake offering.
A fake offering. Dude.

Speaker 2 What's in your purse?

Speaker 3 I have to sanitize.

Speaker 2 Me too?

Speaker 2 Why do you have to sanitize? What were you doing just before?

Speaker 2 Yeah, what was wrong with Jolly Bean? It's Jolly Bell. You have to sanitize it.
I mean, look at how greasy my fingers are. I didn't even eat it.
Look at my hands. Yeah.
They're shining.

Speaker 2 Is the light bouncing off of them? Just call me the hand sanitizer. It was embarrassing.
Hey, Jules?

Speaker 2 Jules. It's embarrassing.
Greasy in his head. Literally hit me in the hands.
I couldn't eat it. What is that?

Speaker 2 Jollibean napkins? Come on.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'll take that. What company is it from? Chipotle.
Chipotle.

Speaker 2 Those are fine.

Speaker 2 Chipotle napkins are fine. Happy Filipino.

Speaker 2 American American mom.

Speaker 3 Wait, well, I bought Filipino snacks.

Speaker 2 Oh, you really did? Oh, you did? Where? Hold on. McCone, please get them.
So she's running it out of the room. It's just insane.
You could have sat in your chair the whole time.

Speaker 2 We could have had someone do it. Why do we hire these people to be at the studio if they're not going to do work? Also, what? I thought we were doing the 1 million celebration fucking episode.

Speaker 2 Well, that was kind of my birthday, but kind of not at all. But look at this.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, here we go.
Oh, wow. Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 I'll introduce it. Wait, so wait a minute.
Let me make something clear. My best friend on earth, Bobby Lee, gave me an incredible gift for my birthday, which I am genuinely very appreciative of.

Speaker 2 Did not get a gift from you or you or you. Did I? Did I? Oh, also, can I just say this too? Wow.
On my birthday, we did a fucking... We did a thing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, bad friends, but Bobby Lee's birthday thing, right? Nothing for my friend here, man. Nothing for me.
He's my sidekick. Is that what I get?

Speaker 2 I did talk to your wife about what I should get you, etc. So.

Speaker 2 And?

Speaker 2 So it's on the way. We're good.
It's on the way.

Speaker 2 His gift. Bobby's just here.
No, but he has another one on the way. Okay, even better.
He has more to come. You have zero here.
My birthday's like a Hanukkah.

Speaker 2 Every day you get one. Every day you get one.
For the week. I'm offended.
Honestly, I'm mad at all three of you. Yeah, it's disgraceful.
It's disgusting.

Speaker 2 Go.

Speaker 2 What? Oh, okay.

Speaker 3 So these are my favorite.

Speaker 2 I want to take a minute to say a million subscribers on YouTube. Okay.
Happy birthday. Happy birthday to you.
A million subscribers on YouTube.

Speaker 2 We want to thank the fans so very much for being here for us.

Speaker 2 This is incredible. This is such a pinnacle.
It's a pinnacle. In fact,

Speaker 2 I ran into a guy today who said to me, and I mean this, and we do really love the fans. We appreciate you guys so much.
It's been incredible. The show's Boston was unbelievable immense.

Speaker 2 It's been so cool. And I will say this about a fan.
He came up to me and he goes,

Speaker 2 I'm a Patreon. I'm a subscriber to the Patreon.
And he goes, I got to tell you.

Speaker 2 I'm a little bummed because I get excited for Mondays, but now I see the episodes on Friday and now I feel empty on Monday.

Speaker 2 And I said, So, should we do an extra special one for him every Monday? Just for that guy. Yeah, that guy, okay.
His name is Michael Nyolk. Nolk? Michael Nyolk.
Nyolk, okay.

Speaker 2 Let's see some of this Filipino-American food you've got for us. Forgetting my birthday.

Speaker 3 Okay, so these were my favorite snacks in the Philippines.

Speaker 2 Growing up. Growing up.
Okay. Pull one at a time.
Just a bag of live bugs. Are we just going to eat live bugs?

Speaker 3 Okay, first one.

Speaker 3 Cheese ring.

Speaker 2 Cheese ring. Okay.

Speaker 2 Are they onion ring? Are they like no funions funnions because I know you gotta let us open them? You know what a funy is

Speaker 3 the onion rings

Speaker 2 Forget it

Speaker 2 Okay, okay, try this. Yeah, please open it

Speaker 2 Let's

Speaker 2 rank them. Let's rank them.
Well, let's look at the packaging and rank it first of all

Speaker 2 That is that Japanese

Speaker 2 seems Japanese and there's a fucking Swedish girl in the fucking packages

Speaker 2 and from Sweden? I don't know. Why is she so white?

Speaker 3 Let's just tell cheese Cheese-flavored snack.

Speaker 3 It's the best.

Speaker 2 Oh, you know what they look like? They look like... I mean,

Speaker 2 why is it so puffed up?

Speaker 3 I don't know. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 2 How does it smell?

Speaker 2 Okay, first smell. First smell, a foot comes to mind.
That's a foot. Just try.
That's your favorite food as a kid? Is it mongoose toenail flavor?

Speaker 2 That's what it smells like. Mongoose toenail flavor.

Speaker 2 That is so gross. We can't eat eat it.
We have to.

Speaker 2 Now we have to try one.

Speaker 2 We can spit it out of the bag. Look.

Speaker 2 It's like a fucking

Speaker 2 prolapse anus. It's Donald Trump's asshole.
Look at that. It's a little Trump's anus.
It's Donald Trump's asshole. All right.
Donald Trump's prolapsed anus. And we're going to eat it live on the show.

Speaker 2 Yeah, okay, here we go. Let's try one.

Speaker 2 He likes it.

Speaker 2 He actually likes it. Bro.

Speaker 2 When it comes to taste and smell, let me see. Completely different.
Okay, so the smell is atrocious.

Speaker 2 Why don't you smell it? Okay, I'll just hold my nose.

Speaker 2 Fantastic. Yeah, it's pretty good.
It's pretty good.

Speaker 2 Don't throw it away. I'll keep it.
This is just like the Philippines. Don't smell it.

Speaker 2 Just enjoy it.

Speaker 2 Kalila. I never smelled her pussy.
Just enjoy it. I just ate it.

Speaker 2 Really? Because if you smelled it, you want it. You're out.
You won't want it. These are really good.
Well, when you taste it, it's like cheesy. Wow.
All right, next.

Speaker 2 We might get diarrhea, but it's okay. We might get diarrhea, though.
Yeah. All right, right, give me the next one.

Speaker 3 Next one: Piatos. The sour cream and onion.

Speaker 2 They're just chips. Yeah.
Right? Yes. Okay.
Yeah. Piatos.
Piatos. By the way, the company is made by Jack and Jill.

Speaker 2 Flavored potato chips. Okay.
Smell it first.

Speaker 2 Again, dude. Let me smell it first.
Oh, my God. Again, it's like footy.

Speaker 2 Feed, feet, feed, feet, feet, feet, feet. Oh, my God.
That's worse than the other one, dude. Are we going to get sick? Is this going to make us sick?

Speaker 3 Maybe. Okay, great.

Speaker 2 Great. Yeah, this is like a Samoan armpit.
Ooh.

Speaker 2 Have you ever smelled a Samoan armpit? Of course. Yeah.
I've been to the island. Yeah.
It's like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 Try one. You have to try one now.
Also, can I also visually?

Speaker 2 Yeah, really, Pad.

Speaker 2 Really bad. What? This is terrible.
No design whatsoever. No design whatsoever.

Speaker 2 What shape do you even call this?

Speaker 2 A pentagong. A pentarong.
A pentarong. Yeah.
This is a pentarong scene. A pentarong.
Yeah, let me taste it. See? Let's see if it.
Give it a whirl.

Speaker 2 Is it good? You seem like you're still in the middle of judging if it's good or... Because the aftertaste means a lot in this kind of stuff.

Speaker 2 Because I still have it visually, so I'm trying to get that rid of my mind.

Speaker 2 It's okay. Okay.
It's not bad. It's okay.
It's not bad.

Speaker 3 It's a great rate out of ten.

Speaker 2 Well, the first one I'm going to give this is a bad one. It's a three.
I'm going to give this a six. Six, yeah.
Okay. Out of ten.

Speaker 2 It's average. It's like, been there, done that.
Cardboardy. Yeah, yeah, cardboardy.
This tastes like what I think a rainbow sandal would taste like

Speaker 2 after like a San Diego bro war. Right.
Three or four years. Exactly.
With a little bit of beach sweat, a little bit of sand in your toes. This is not good.
This one's a three. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And you're and

Speaker 2 that three is generous. It's pretty generous.

Speaker 3 Okay, this one is the best.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 3 The second best.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Pillows. Pillows.
Pillows. Amazing.
They just name everything things they wish they had. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 What a random thing, right? She's like, next up is blankets and heat. Yeah.

Speaker 2 This one's called lamp fixtures.

Speaker 2 have you guys tried electricity

Speaker 2 all right here's pillows a better bag a better design i like this kind of a heavy you know what i mean a heavy rip and pillows is a ube filled cracker oh smell it first

Speaker 2 oh really i like it

Speaker 2 i like the smell of ube is good for me baby oh this is like that's top-notch you can tell by the packaging it's higher end let's see let's see

Speaker 2 yeah we must test Yeah, yeah. Three out of ten, six out of ten.
Well, okay, let's look at the right

Speaker 2 It's a square. I've never seen something so purple.

Speaker 2 What are we talking? The pillowy said the sound of the crunch is very good. High-end crunch.
I don't like it. You hate it.
Let me try it. I don't like it.
I don't like it. All right.

Speaker 2 Let me try a pillow. There's something inside of me.
I know, I tasted it. I don't like it.
You know what this looks like?

Speaker 2 It reminds me of what's at the cereal, the shit cereal, wheat thin or whatever the shit cereal was. It looks like that.

Speaker 2 What's inside? Ube.

Speaker 2 Ube juice is inside? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You don't like it.
There's something about it I don't like. Yeah, because it's like perfume

Speaker 2 in a fucking chip or something.

Speaker 2 I didn't want perfume in the chip. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 You just gave me dracar noir and stuff. I don't like it.
It's like cold water flavor. Okay.
By the way, this is whatever. This is five.
This is below. It's a five.
It's below the cheap. It's below.

Speaker 2 This is the top ranking one, right? So far, let's let's have the next. I think it's the white girl that's in the package.
That's what we keep in mind. That's what made me like it so far.

Speaker 2 Whenever you put a white person on the pocket package, I know it's quality. Is this final?

Speaker 3 This is the final. This is my favorite.
Okay. I usually eat it with ketchup and rice, but I forgot to bring ketchup.

Speaker 2 Oh, is this chicharones? Is that what that is? What's it called? Chicharrones is porkskins, as you know.

Speaker 3 Manghuan chicharrones.

Speaker 2 Yeah, chicharrones. I know this is

Speaker 3 the best.

Speaker 2 Well, but you guys call them chicharron. But how do you say it? Because in where Fancy and I come from, we say chicharrones, right?

Speaker 3 We just say chicharon.

Speaker 2 Chicharon. Chicharon.
Chicharon.

Speaker 2 Is this because you guys are going to, you're disguising yourself as Mexican sometimes? No. Yeah, she is.
She goes rogue. So, this is, how do you say that? Ni Manguan.
Manghuan.

Speaker 2 Oh my God, this has got to be racist. That's pretty much this.
Juan. Juan.

Speaker 2 Juan, this is mocking.

Speaker 2 What does this mean?

Speaker 2 So, I don't know. Yes, it's not racist because, you know, what? The Spanish, right?

Speaker 2 They colonized, right, and they're a little juk juk with your people.

Speaker 2 Right, and then all of a sudden, some other thing came out.

Speaker 2 All right, so at first

Speaker 2 at first smell,

Speaker 2 whoof.

Speaker 2 Is that real?

Speaker 2 Wow. Good.
It is a heavy. Close the bag and open it fast.
Smell it fast. Smell it fast.
Smell it fast, though. Like,

Speaker 2 breathe it in. Ready? And

Speaker 2 whoa.

Speaker 2 Good. Yes.
It's like smelling salts. I love Juan.
It hits you hard. Juan's great.
Yeah, Juan is my friend. By smell alone, I like this most, but I I like Chicho Rones.
I am partial to

Speaker 2 pork skin. Let's see what it looks like.
Pork skin, baby.

Speaker 2 Yeah. It looks like psoriasis.
Yeah, it's been flaked off. It's a flaky psoriasis.
Now, what hospital were these bags from?

Speaker 2 Let's try it. Dude, this is a scab.
It's a scab. Yeah, yeah.
But most pork skin looks scabby. Okay, well,

Speaker 2 most of the time. Let me test it first.
Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 2 Hmm, the crunch is right. Pork skin crunch is almost perfect.
When you get the corner of one, you know, it's hard and burnt. Hold

Speaker 2 Excellent. Excellent.

Speaker 2 Excellent. So this is number one in your book.
Uh-huh. Excellent.
Now, how many people in your community have died eating some of these snacks? None. Yeah, right.
Excellent. I mean, perfect.

Speaker 2 This is a good one. A hard curl.
This means it was fried a little bit longer. There's a little bit more fat on this one.

Speaker 2 Excellent. I love pork skin.
Excellent. Hey, give me one more cheese foot because I I do like cheese foot.

Speaker 2 Thank you for bringing these snacks. This is very nice.
And thank you for forgetting my birthday. I really do appreciate it.
DT Anus. I call it DT Anus.
Yeah, DT Prolapse. DT Prolapse.

Speaker 2 2024, huh? Trump, Trump. Second place.

Speaker 2 Second place for sure.

Speaker 2 These are delicious. We have candy in there, too, in the Chinese box.
Oh, we got candy in the Chinese box. So these give you bad bathroom troubles? I used to and I was.
Bro, bro, bro, bro.

Speaker 2 We found it. Invisible candies.
Invisible candy. This is the invisible candy from last week.

Speaker 2 But can I tell you something? I've heard through the grapevine since we did this episode. People said that that's the paper's not edible.
You're not supposed to eat the paper. Not this paper.

Speaker 2 No, even the inside, you're not supposed to eat that either, they said. This paper.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 We used to eat that in the Philippines.

Speaker 2 People online say you don't eat the paper. Yeah.
Yeah, you don't. No, no.

Speaker 2 Why does it dissolve in your mouth like fucking deliciousness? Maybe because it's cancerous.

Speaker 2 Give me one. Let me try.

Speaker 2 This is the infamous white rabbit. Yeah.

Speaker 2 See, look. See, look.
Eat it.

Speaker 2 Eat it.

Speaker 2 You can't chew up. Why can't you chew it? You're sucking it.
You're sucking it. Are you not supposed to be able to chew these? It takes a minute.
It takes a minute. It hurts.

Speaker 2 Well, this is a silly candy.

Speaker 2 It's supposed to look chewable, but not be chewable? Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's not taffy.

Speaker 2 Why is that? Why people love taffy? Why do you like taffy so much? Because it reminds us of the sea.

Speaker 2 Do you like taffy? Fudge, taffy. Go fuck yourself.
I've never had a taffy before.

Speaker 2 This hurts my teeth. I mean, I've not even enjoyed it.
Oh, flavor. Huh? What with the flavor? Flavor is great.

Speaker 2 But it's like, I was like sucking on a good-tasting stone.

Speaker 2 This is what my people, this is what the Irish used to do in their board. They would put sugar on a stone and suck on it for an hour and a half.
That's what it is I can do?

Speaker 2 Get yourself a sugary stone, Seamus. Seamus, grab yourself a sugar stone.
Yeah, because it's. Just suck on it.
I'm doing it. I love it.

Speaker 2 Anyway, where do these come from? Amazon. Yeah, see, are we going to die after all this stuff? I feel like none of this is FDA approved.

Speaker 2 No, this is a quality candy, dude. Oh, gosh, chuck on my teeth.

Speaker 2 Look.

Speaker 2 You doing it?

Speaker 2 I'm done. I'm done.
I'm done. See, that's the thing about the white rabbit.
You think it's fun at the beginning, and then it

Speaker 2 really runs out of steam there. Well, thank you so much for the birthday gift, Bobby Lee, and not to anybody else on this show.
Thank you so much for the million subscribers.

Speaker 2 Thank you, Rudy, for bringing us a taste of the Philippines and also for me having to get more toilet paper on the way home at CVS because I can already feel the cheese puffs loading up down below.

Speaker 2 Dude, talk about poos.

Speaker 2 I had dinner with Gene Hong.

Speaker 2 You know, Gene, right? Of course. Right.

Speaker 2 We're eating at our favorite Chinese restaurant in Koreatown. Then we go, let's get some ice cream.
We're in waiting in line ice cream. And I look at him.
I go, eight minutes. In eight minutes.

Speaker 2 In eight minutes, Gene, Gene, I'm going to poo my pants. Eight minutes, fly.
I gave him the fucking time. He goes, get in the car.
That's pretty good to know the time, though. Dude,

Speaker 2 seven minutes and 55 seconds, I enter his house. As soon as I go to the toilet, it came out.
It was like, it could have been a disaster, dude. It is funny to think about it.

Speaker 2 It must be in there going like,

Speaker 2 I know. Like when your guy's holding on to the ledge building, you know, trying to evade.
But like, I think I know how to count it out now when. Your timing is that good.
It's so good, dude.

Speaker 2 And that's what I want to say. I have talent.
You do have a lot of talent. You know, there's certain talents I know.
I can't play Batman. You know what I mean? I can't really run the good.

Speaker 2 You're not good at horseshoes. I'm not good at horseshoes.
Bowling. You're great at

Speaker 2 a good bowl. You want to play bowling with this guy? Don't.
Don't even

Speaker 2 play with me, buddy, because I'm going to beat you. He'll destroy you, dude.
Speaking of which, what's this thing doing in front of the picture there of a

Speaker 2 oh, one million decorations? Why is it in front of you?

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.
Don't go anywhere with it. Leave it right there if you think you deserve it.
Because it's on your picture. It's on your list.

Speaker 2 Why is it when we're on stage in Boston and we have a girl on stage? And I go, you know, what's your name? She says her name. And I go, how do you know? Do you like our podcast?

Speaker 2 No, she goes, I fuck Carlos. Yeah, I fuck Carlos.
We hooked up that night, too.

Speaker 2 You did. Yeah.
I saw you guys necking at the bar. Okay, so there's 5,000 people there, right? You have to bring your buddy on stage.
Is that what the deal is? She signed up. It was deliberate, though.

Speaker 2 He put her name in. It was deliberate.
It was deliberate. There's no way.

Speaker 2 How much easier is it for him to score when the girl that he's hooking up with gets randomly? I'm going to give you a little fame. That's what you did.
No. To get Andrew Pussy.

Speaker 2 Exchange fame for pussy. That's what it was for.
That's what you did that night. And also, don't blame me for picking her.
You put her name on the list five times. I think it was a pretty...

Speaker 2 You know, when like a magician is shuffling cards and is like, any card, but this one for sure. Yeah.
That's what he did.

Speaker 2 Can I say thank you? Because it did help me. You're welcome.
Also, that was the third time you had sex with her. Fourth.
Whoa.

Speaker 2 So she's not right. No.
I mean, she, her judgment's a little wrong. She's off.
I'm not saying anything about her. She probably burns herself in the fucking fire every once in a while.

Speaker 2 Right, just to feel something. Just a few.
No, like accident. Like, oh, yeah, that burns.
I forgot. I think she might turn on the stove once in a while just to see if maybe it'll hurt her.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You'll leave the stove on.
You leave one of the burners on. But do you want to see what I had to deal with while I was hooking up with her? This is what I had to do.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, what did you have to deal with while you were hooking up with her? I had to listen to this.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 2 Shotgunning beers?

Speaker 2 Macone in the other room. Who's that guy? So this guy, this guy.
Who the fuck is that guy? I didn't see him all night. McCone's boyfriend.

Speaker 2 He showed up to the after party, the little after get-together. We all got together.
Yeah. This guy showed up straight out of the outback.
I mean, not a...

Speaker 2 Where do you find people like this? In a shed somewhere being hidden from society. This guy is so...
He was born at a rave.

Speaker 2 Right? He was born at a rave, dude. Look at that.
He mixed patchouli and Molly in a bucket for a few days, and this guy was born out of it. I mean, this guy, what a strange, strange bird.

Speaker 2 It's a crazy one. And this is McCone's good buddy.
So he was in the, well, you guys were hooking up, they were in the kitchen shotgunning beers. Yeah, and I could hear you.

Speaker 2 Why did you bring him back to the place you were hooking up at? Well, McCone brought, well, you guys share a room.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I know, but kick them out and make them go somewhere. Wait, wait, you share a room? We share a suite on that one.
So there's two different rooms. Exactly.
Oh, I see. But usually there's not.

Speaker 2 Okay. Usually he has to.
They have to do that. Wow, wow,

Speaker 2 yeah.

Speaker 2 So he came back to the room. McCone, out of respect, Carlos, put a sock on the door and tell him come back later.
That's the code. That's broke.

Speaker 2 McCone, you're really living the life, huh?

Speaker 2 Doesn't deserve anything.

Speaker 2 Doesn't do shit at the show. True.
Right? He takes, I told him to do one thing. The photo was pretty good, okay, right? But not great.
Let's be honest. It was fine.
It was fine, okay?

Speaker 2 He takes one photo of me. Fancy an ad right before I did that, and that was just to celebrate sending Fancy the ad for last week.
3 a.m. Yeah.
3 in the morning. So you waited till 3 a.m.

Speaker 2 to send him, hey, I did some work. It's 3 in the morning.
3 a.m. my time.

Speaker 2 So it was 6 a.m.

Speaker 2 You were up till 6 a.m. in New York in Boston? The sun was starting to come up a little bit.
Wow. Why are we paying? And I also text you.
Didn't I text you in the morning? Like, where's the video?

Speaker 2 Where's the video? How long did it take me to get it? I was.

Speaker 2 How long did it take me to get it? I'm asking you a question. It's not a fast one, yeah.

Speaker 2 He did it in L.A. when we were trying to get it.
Exactly, exactly. You did it in L.A., he did it in the Uber.
You did it in the Uber, did you not? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's not professional, dude.

Speaker 2 I know, man. I don't understand.
Happy birthday, man. Thank you, dude.
Happy birthday. Thank you, Bobby.
Let's focus on this. The only one that cares about it.
I know.

Speaker 2 Chime. You know, when I was younger,

Speaker 2 I was terrible at banking. I was confused.
So bad.

Speaker 2 Overdraft charges. Yeah, I just didn't know how to handle my money.
I didn't know how to manage it. And also, no one was there to help.
But Chime understands that every dollar counts.

Speaker 2 That's why when you set up direct deposit through Chime, you get access to fee-free features like overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit, and much more, which definitely would have helped me when I was doing my PA jobs back in in the day.

Speaker 2 Also, with qualifying direct deposits, you are eligible for free overdraft up to $200 or debit card purchases and cash withdrawal. You can learn more about it at chime.com slash bad friend.

Speaker 2 To date, Chime has spotted members over $30 billion, right? You need a little bit of help. You need a little money quicker than normal because something pops up.
It always does.

Speaker 2 You open up a check-in account. with zero monthly fees and no maintenance fees, and you got access to over 47,000 fee-free ATMs.
That's more than the top three national banks combined.

Speaker 2 All those ATMs are there for you to use and don't get clipped. You got to try Chime.
Work on your financial goals through QIIME today. Open an account in two minutes at chime.com/slash bad friends.

Speaker 2 That's chime.com slash bad friends. Chime.
Feel like progress.

Speaker 4 Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bankor Bank NA or Stripe Bank NA, members of FDIC.

Speaker 4 Spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Timing depends on submission payment file.
Fees apply it out of network ATMs, bank ranking, and number of ATMs according to U.S.

Speaker 4 News and World Report 2023. Chime checking account required.

Speaker 2 Hydro. I got it.
You? They gave me one. I got one at the house.
I love it so very much. It's incredible.
And I'm rowing in the morning and it wakes me up and gets me juiced. Well, what is it?

Speaker 2 What is it? Hydro is your ultimate go-to for ultimate full-body workout.

Speaker 2 How ultimate is it? You may ask. It works 86% of your muscles, arms, legs, and core, twice as efficient as cycling or running.
Just 20 minutes, all it takes to feel the results. And this is true.

Speaker 2 I do it for 15 to 20 minutes in the morning, and I feel so good for the rest of the day. People have seen traditional old rowers.
The old ways are gone.

Speaker 2 Hydro's newest rower, the Hydro Arc, delivers such powerful results. GQ magazine named it the best rower of 2025, and I agree.
You've convinced me I'm getting a hydro today. We should get you one.

Speaker 2 Head over to hydro.com and use code Bad Friends to save up to $600 off on a hydro rower during this holiday season. That's hydro.
H-Y-D-R-O-W dot com.

Speaker 2 Code, of course, is Bad Friends to save up to $600.

Speaker 2 Hydro.com, code is Bad Friends. Buffy! You know what, bud? Remember, dude, remember back when we first started hanging a lot? Yeah.
You got me, Buffy? I got you, Buffy.

Speaker 2 And I still have Buffy. And you'll never forget that moment.
Buffy makes award-winning bedding that's soft on you and soft on guess what? The Earth.

Speaker 2 They use innovative design and earth-friendly materials to bring bedding that is much softer and safer and also better for our planet. It is so comfortable.
The breeze sheet set is so soft and cool.

Speaker 2 Dude, it's cool. Gentle on your skin.
Dude, I love the way I feel in the morning because I don't get super hot in the middle of the night with Buffy. That's my biggest pet piece.
Here's the key, dude.

Speaker 2 Eucalyptus fibers, dog. Hey, hey.
Instead of polyester or down, man. That's right.

Speaker 2 It's also an Architectural Digest 2022 Clever Award winner. Really? And I've applied five times to get that award and never got it.
Why wouldn't you think you'd get it? Because I don't do sheets, man.

Speaker 2 You don't do sheets, but you know who does? Buffy does. And Buffy orders a free seven-night at-home trial so you can experience Buffy before committing to buying it.
Shipping is free.

Speaker 2 Customers also enjoy a 100-night free returns policy. It's insane.
It's so comfortable. It's It's ridiculous.
You must try it, okay?

Speaker 2 For 25% off your Buffy order, visit Buffy.co and her bad friends at checkout. That's right.
That's Buffy.co with code bad friends for 25% off your Buffy order. Zock Doc!

Speaker 2 Have you ever been on the hunt for a new doctor and you ask everyone you know for a recommendation and they're always like, I don't know, I used to use a guy that was on the other side of town and I don't really know anybody.

Speaker 2 We go to my cousin's uncle. No, this is so easily.
You want a doctor who actually gets you, listens to you, and makes you feel super comfortable. Zach Doc has got you covered.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's like, you know, the old days of like calling, oh, can I make an appointment? Oh, you're not, oh, in three weeks you can see me. Oh, yeah.
Not Zoc Doc, my name. Not Zoc Doc.

Speaker 2 There are thousands of top-rated doctors on ZocDoc. They're all listed with a verified patient review.

Speaker 2 You can find and book a doctor who not only has years of experience and an actual medical degree, but also gets you, okay? Know what you're going through.

Speaker 2 These docs have all verified reviews, and the average wait time to see a doctor booked on Zock Doc is between 24 to 48 hours. That's it.
You can even score same-day appointments. This is incredible.

Speaker 2 It's so much easier than going out of your way to try to find a new doctor. Let Zoc Doc help you.
ZocDoc is a free app where you can find amazing doctors and book appointments online.

Speaker 2 We're talking about booking appointments with thousands of top-rated patient-reviewed doctors with specialists.

Speaker 2 You can filter specifically for ones who take your insurance or are located near you and treat almost any condition you're searching for.

Speaker 2 So go to ZocDoc.com/slash bad friends and download the ZocDoc app for free. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today.
That's z-oc-c-d-o-c.com/slash bad friends. Zocdoc.com/slash bad friends.

Speaker 2 I love you.

Speaker 2 None of your business. Fuck you.
Fat ass. You don't know.
You don't ask me. I don't know.
You fat ass. Hey, hey, pal, do you have Google? Google it.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay. He's not just a.

Speaker 2 He's just a random guy who works at fucking somewhere. I guess so.
No, this guy, Google it. No, no, no.
How old is Andrew Santino? Why don't you guess? I'd like you to guess.

Speaker 2 Let's see, like in Filipino terms, what am I? 38.

Speaker 2 Wow, close. Feels good.

Speaker 3 39

Speaker 2 pretty close 40 pretty close 42 pretty close

Speaker 2 you're older pretty close 45 it ain't warmer

Speaker 3 47

Speaker 2 pretty close

Speaker 2 48 oh pretty close

Speaker 3 too high 40

Speaker 2 I'm 40 I'm 40 I'm 40 years old. I thought you were.
How does it feel?

Speaker 2 Thought I was what?

Speaker 3 I thought you were 47.

Speaker 2 You know what? I'll tell you why.

Speaker 2 Reach your maturity. Thank you.
And that's where I'm going to go. Because I saw the rage come up.
Yeah. Right.
And I saw what happened. And I'm trying to fight it back.
Fighting back.

Speaker 2 I'm doing some Zen stuff lately. I've been Zen and Algeria.
And

Speaker 2 that one. So, and you know what?

Speaker 2 I know. It's a positive.
I'm about to do it.

Speaker 2 I'm about to do it. What? I'm about to do that.
Don't call her that thing. I'm not sure if she's that little fucking thing.
Don't call her that thing again, man. Fucking piece of shit.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Let me tell you something. Yeah, yeah, let me tell you.
You know how quickly we can shift the body here, bud? Back on a boat. You'll be back on a boat making stuff out of bamboo again.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you will in no time. I'll have you D, poor Tid.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. No, you're not sorry at all.
You brought me one rogue chicken wing.

Speaker 2 What a shitty birthday gift.

Speaker 3 It was good, though.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm sure it was. I'm sure it was.
You can clean a house, though, I can tell you that right now. Yeah, they all can, can't they? Dude, you can clean my house, can you? Yeah.
Fuck yeah, man.

Speaker 2 I feel 40. How do I feel like you're hurting? How do you feel? I feel 40.
I feel 40. It's a milestone.
It's a big deal.

Speaker 2 So you're thinking about it. I don't like it.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Dude, try 50. Yeah, but when I turned 50, I was like, oh, is death around? Death is around the corner.
Somewhere, but not that close.

Speaker 2 To me,

Speaker 2 you're closer. Yeah, you're definitely closer.

Speaker 2 I'm closer than you. Yeah, well, I feel like you and I will die at the same time.
Oh, that'd be great. I think we'll die together.
And

Speaker 2 I have dreams of this. In a chalet.
We'll die in a Swiss chalet. A Swiss chalet.
On a mountain. But it's not snowing.
Why isn't it? Because it's summertime. We're in a Swiss chalet in the summertime.

Speaker 2 There's not a lot of tourism. I'm drinking a cup of coffee.
I'm naked on the patio. Right.
I have melted. I don't know why.
I have melted chocolate on my body. What do you mean you don't know why?

Speaker 2 You know what we just

Speaker 2 do? Why do you know? Yeah, you know. I do do, but I don't.
The fans know. I do and I don't.
Yeah, but so I'm out there. You're drinking your thing.
I'm naked. Butt naked.
Snuffs on.

Speaker 2 Melted chocolate on my body. Tanning a little bit.
Tanning. And for some reason, there's like a, we're those rubber ducks.
Little tiny rubber duckies.

Speaker 2 Yeah, rubber duckies on the, because I'm making a chocolate lake on my stomach. A fondue.

Speaker 2 That's what they call it, right? A fondue. A fondue, right? Right.
I got little duckies, right? Yeah. My dick? Yeah.
Where is it? In my ass. Yes.
No. Wait a minute.
How did you do that to me?

Speaker 2 That's incredible. Pretty good, right? How did you get there? I know.

Speaker 2 I got there. I tricked you, dude.
You know, I see us at a Swiss chalet and I see that happening. I see that part of

Speaker 2 our pinnacle of our friendship. And you know who's not there? What? You.
Gone.

Speaker 2 What's in our chalet? I can see it. What's inside of our chalet? There's got to be a dojo.
Oh, yeah. There's a dojo for short.
Where do you think we eat dinner? What? In the dojo. In the dojo.

Speaker 2 Japanese style. Yeah.
Take your shoes off. I can't crisscross apples.
My knees hurt so bad when I get down on the ground. Yeah.
What do you think? Can you do that? What? Can you sit Indian style?

Speaker 2 You can't say that. Can you sit Indigenous people style?

Speaker 2 What? I can.

Speaker 2 You can?

Speaker 2 I can do the old school.

Speaker 2 You know how they sit with their

Speaker 2 knees. Hold on.
Let me just get it. What is it?

Speaker 2 I have no idea what that is.

Speaker 2 Let me get it out. Yeah? The crouching sitting.
The Asian zoo. Oh, yes.

Speaker 2 What's this right here? What I'm doing?

Speaker 2 It's smoke attack sit. Yeah, yeah, I'm smoking.
Yeah. I'll show you.
You can smoke attack stall. I can still do this, dude.

Speaker 2 That's really good.

Speaker 3 That's not low. You gotta go lower.

Speaker 2 This is as low as it gets, baby. That is pretty low.
That's pretty fucking low. Crouching.

Speaker 5 Can you do this?

Speaker 2 Crouching. Yeah, I can do that.

Speaker 2 You okay? That hurts. That I can do, but I can't sit.
You can sit.

Speaker 2 Sit cross-legged.

Speaker 2 I can't. Wow, that's interesting.
Not right now. That's interesting.
Not with my back.

Speaker 2 There's a new system in California called the Ebony Alert. It's Amber Alert for black people.
And it just got past.

Speaker 2 Wait a minute. Yeah.
Cut it out. To be real.
There's an app that says when

Speaker 2 Amber Alert. Amber Alert,

Speaker 2 but Ebony Alert. Yeah.
But why? Amber, that doesn't mean that they're white, although white kids probably get kidnapped much more than any other kind of kid. Well, I don't know about that.

Speaker 2 Well, they're worth more. It's a street value for a white kid.
I think an Ebony Alert is needed. I've always paid for one.
You know why? Why? Because I want to know that they know that I have them.

Speaker 2 Right. Right.
You want everyone to know. I want everyone, because then if I have them, I could go, oh, they know I have it.
and then I'll

Speaker 2 change locations. It's working, it's gonna work, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Wait a minute, you're really being serious with a thing called ebony governor, California Governor Gavin Newsome has signed a new law that can help track down young people of color who have disappeared, and it's called Ebony Alert.

Speaker 2 Why not just a regular children kidnapped alert? And anyway, Andreas had a funny joke. What is it?

Speaker 2 I don't know what he did, but before we did the podcast, we talked about it a little bit, this ebony alert. And he said something that was like out of pocket.
What did he say?

Speaker 2 And I want you to repeat it.

Speaker 2 What'd you say? Yeah, yeah. I didn't say anything.
Well, May I repeat it maybe? Yeah, please. Well, how is that going to work out? You're right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 How do you know who's who? They all look the same. That's what the fuck.
That's what you said? You scumbag. Macon? He said it.
Carlos? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Can I tell you something? When I first looked in the room here and I saw this stand up and I saw your flag and my flag, I thought. It's good.

Speaker 2 I do love my flag. I love my flag.
I do like your flag a lot.

Speaker 2 What are the black lines for?

Speaker 2 What are the black lines on the Korean flag for?

Speaker 2 I stand with Korea.

Speaker 2 I like quote Mark. The Gion bar symbolize

Speaker 2 air south summer. The Gam bar symbolize water west autumn.
The Gon bar symbolize Earth North Winter.

Speaker 2 And the Rebar symbolize Fire East Spring.

Speaker 2 You guys are doing way too much.

Speaker 2 I think the sides are a little too much.

Speaker 2 The black lines are just so, so heavy. I thought it was like threes.
Do you know what the three colors on the Irish flag stand for? What? It's really easy to guess. So redheads?

Speaker 2 The hair? Hair. The skin.
Skin. The soul.
The soul's not green. Soul green.
Symbolize the inclusion and the

Speaker 2 liquor does to your soul? Yeah, it turns you green. This is a whiskey liver.
This is after

Speaker 2 symbolize the inclusion and the aspiration of unity between people of different traditions of the island.

Speaker 2 You know, we don't know. It means nothing.
What is a Filipino flag? I don't even know. Bring up the Filipino flag.
I mean,

Speaker 2 do they have one? Yeah, we do. I mean, they're the ones that make them.
Yeah, yeah. After all,

Speaker 2 that's a pretty good flag. That is nice.
Yeah, the sun.

Speaker 2 Is that the sun or what is that? It's the sun.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 We understand. A little bit of attitude.
We get the sun, too, here. It's the sun.
She actually is she only gets the sun. We get the sun, too.
Yeah, we also get the sun. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay, so the sun, what's the blue mean?

Speaker 3 Peace.

Speaker 2 That's why it's above the red because that's peace and then and then the other one's war. Yeah.
Is that right? Peace and war. White triangle stands for equality.

Speaker 2 Blue stripe stands for peace, truth, and justice. And the red stripe represents patriotism and valor.
Ah, you guys have valor, huh? Stolen valor.

Speaker 2 I've seen a lot of fake, fake military over there walking around,

Speaker 2 pretending like they're in the military, and they're not. The eight sunsets have been colonized a lot, right?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. So it's a lot of valor.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 3 do you know?

Speaker 2 Okay, you can come in. I mean, what did you say? Yeah.
Hi,

Speaker 2 coming in.

Speaker 2 Are there any kids you know growing up named Valor? Did you grow up with with anybody named Valor? No. Yeah, what's the weirdest name? Because I know you guys have fucked up weird names.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Fun names. What's the weirdest guy's name that you know?

Speaker 3 Agapito.

Speaker 2 Agapito. Agapito.
What does that mean?

Speaker 3 I don't know the meaning, but agapito.

Speaker 2 So he was like, hi, I'm Agapito. Agapito.
Agapito. Agapito.
Agapito. Okay.
Bongbong is common.

Speaker 3 Bongbong. Bongbong is common.

Speaker 2 Bongbong and spaghetti. Spaghetti is a common name there.
Yeah, yeah. Like, look at that.
They're crazy, dude. You really tell me spaghetti isn't it? Yeah, spaghetti is.

Speaker 3 Is Loloy weird?

Speaker 2 Well, I know Loloy. Yeah.
You know, I know Loloy. Yeah, I love Loloy.

Speaker 2 Fort McKinley is not a name. Yes, it is.
That's somebody's name, Philippines. My dad is a retired AFP personnel in our place.
That's a guy's name, Fort McKinley, dude.

Speaker 2 Cute. Number 10, what is that? Drexis.
Yeah, yeah. That's a guy's name.
My name is a combination of my father's name. Zoom in.
Yeah. My father's name, Drexikar, and Zeus from Greek mythology.

Speaker 2 Look at the next one. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Sagaceous, Junehurst, and Grow Wizard. Grow Wizard.

Speaker 2 These are unpronounceable. Grow Wizard's great.
Look about Yinyi Hil. This one, right? How do you even say that? Yeah.
Wait, Ying Ying Ying Yehil. My name is pronounced Yinhil.

Speaker 2 But it's spelled. Y-G-H-N-N-G-J-H-Y-L-L.
It's pronounced. Holy fuck.
Yin-hul. My name is inspired by stenography according to my father.
Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 Okay, number five. Sincerely yours.

Speaker 2 Wait a minute. I mean, because you're welcome is common.
You're welcome? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or thank you.
Thank you, yeah. By the way, the sister's name is Spaghetti88.

Speaker 2 Yeah. My brother's name is macaroni85.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. These people are.
Sincerely yours, macaroni, spaghetti. Is that it? Go to two and one.
No, no, no, dude.

Speaker 2 Drink water. Dude, and then

Speaker 2 stealing from the natives. Not only that, though, it's a positive name.
Well, yeah, you should hydrate. It reminds me.
Hydrate. Yeah, when I meet them, it reminds me.
See, this one isn't as weird.

Speaker 2 Godis with us. God is with us.
It's God is with us. Yeah.
God is with us. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Sentences are names for them.

Speaker 3 I've never met any Filipinos that's like... Go down.

Speaker 2 You've never met Spaghetti 88? No. Go up.

Speaker 3 God is with us?

Speaker 2 No. You don't know what God is with us? Yeah.
It's Goddess with us. Our goddess.
Goddess. Goddess with us.
With us. That's amazing.
By the way, shout out. Wherever you are, Spaghetti 88, go off, girl.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Go off, Queen.
Spaghetti 88.

Speaker 2 Cheese.

Speaker 2 Give me a name. Give me a name right now.
I got one.

Speaker 2 What? Go. My name is Son.
Because if this, these, it's opened my mind. Yeah, it doesn't.
Yeah, you can be anything. My son, Jimmy Crackhorn, and I don't care.

Speaker 2 Well, those two of them, Jimmy Krakorn, and I don't care.

Speaker 2 Jimmy Crackhorn, and I don't care.

Speaker 2 But those are my two kids. You give me one.

Speaker 2 I'm going to name my kid

Speaker 2 wallet, keys, cell phone.

Speaker 2 So when I leave the house, I go, where the fuck are my wallet, my keys, and my cell phone? There they are. Right there.

Speaker 2 There they are. That's amazing.
What are you going to name your kids if they're Filipino? Anything you want, really.

Speaker 2 Poo-poo. Poo-poo.
Poo-poo. Yeah.
Okay. Pee-pee.
Poo-poo-pee-pee.

Speaker 2 Doodoo. What's the third? Doodoo.

Speaker 3 No, it's Chinese.

Speaker 2 Poo-poo, pee-pee, and Kevin. Kevin.
Yeah. That'd be great.
Yeah, just to throw off everybody. Throw everyone off, yeah.
Poo-poo, pee-pee, Kevin.

Speaker 2 Spaghetti 88, maybe one of the greatest names I've ever heard of my entire life. Ever, ever.

Speaker 2 Sheath! Guess what underwear I'm wearing? What is protection? Sheath? Your balls right now. Sheath.
Oh, a little bit of sheath. Underwear.

Speaker 2 Shing, shing. It's got a little pocket for your testes.
For your

Speaker 2 peepy. Your papitos.
It feels so good. It's like their own little like

Speaker 2 condo. It's like a little condominium.
Yeah, yeah. And by the way, condominium, minium is the key word word there.
These are the most comfortable box of briefs you're ever going to put on your body.

Speaker 2 It's incredibly soft, stretchy fabric, moisture wicking technology. So you're not going to get sweaty balls.
It's going to be nice and comfortable all day long.

Speaker 2 Sheath is particularly useful for staying cool during the summer and while working out.

Speaker 2 The most unique thing about sheath underwear is that they have all these dual pouches that keep your man's part separated, which prevents things from sticking together, keeps them right where they need to be.

Speaker 2 I do love that and I need that because honestly, I got a lot of leg stickies this summer. Did not enjoy that.
So if you want to be free and comfortable, you got to try Sheath.

Speaker 2 Go to sheathunderwear.com and get the most comfortable underwear you'll ever wear. If you use the promo code Bad Friends, you'll also get 20% off your order.

Speaker 2 That's sheathunderwear.com promo code BadFriends for 20% off your order. They also have new bamboo pairs with a new women's collection that are perfect for all weather conditions.
Sheathunderwear.com.

Speaker 2 Viator. Hey, Andrew, you're going to the islands, are you? You're going to the islands, baby.
And guess what? Aside from the other gift I got you, I got you some Viator stuff, man.

Speaker 2 Did you really get me a Viator? Viator, I'll tell you what it is. You sweetheart.
Viator has over 300,000 bookable travel experiences in over 190 countries.

Speaker 2 They offer everything from simple tours to extreme adventures, all the niche, interesting stuff in between. Viator is the place to go to book memorable travel experiences.

Speaker 2 Right, and you can do anything with Viator. My favorite thing about it is that it's not just big, huge adventures that are expensive and heavy on the wallet and heavy on the day.

Speaker 2 You can do something short and quick, a nice evening, afternoon hike. You can do, there was a jet ski, you can go on a jet ski tour of little coves, which I think is incredible.

Speaker 2 But so many bookable experiences and millions of traveler reviews that are real from people just like you. You got the information you need to book the best activities for your trip.

Speaker 2 I cannot wait to do that on my trip to the islands in just a couple of days.

Speaker 2 When you book a travel experience with Viator, there's always flexibility and support with free cancellation, payment options, and 24-7 service.

Speaker 2 Download the Viator app now and use code Viator 10 for 10% off your first booking in the app. One app over 300,000 travel experiences you'll remember.
Do more with Viator.

Speaker 3 i want to add something more please please do okay so in the philippines did you know that we also have our own kkk

Speaker 2 wow i did not know thank you i did not know

Speaker 2 give me a napkin yeah wait a minute hold on. Please give me a napkin before I'm.
A booger is coming out of my nose.

Speaker 2 Dude. Dude.
Did you know?

Speaker 2 Hold on. Hold on.
Thank you. Dude, I did not know.
Say that again. I did.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, I did not know.

Speaker 2 Holy shit.

Speaker 3 That we also have

Speaker 2 your own KKK in the Philippines. You have a KKK in the Philippines.

Speaker 3 But the good KKK.

Speaker 2 What does that even mean? What is it? The good KKK?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Why?

Speaker 2 Why are they good? Okay, KKK.

Speaker 3 Katipunan ng mga anakmang bayan.

Speaker 2 No, and you're making this up as we go. There's no way, dude.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 3 it was made when the Spanish colonized us.

Speaker 2 Oh, you pieces of shit. Also, it means.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, it's. Yeah, yeah.
Let's try to say that. Yeah.
On the count of three, Bob. One, two, three.

Speaker 2 And look at that. Look at that.
Founder says Andres. Andres Bonificio.

Speaker 2 So there is Andres.

Speaker 2 There's Andres's great-grandfather. Wow, Jesus.
Wait, what does it mean? What does it represent? Do you know anything really about it?

Speaker 3 It's just like an honorary organization that fought the Spanish and wanted independence.

Speaker 2 It was a Filipino revolutionary society founded by anti-Spanish colonists, Filipinos, and Manila. Primary goal was to gain independence from Spain throughout a revolution.

Speaker 2 Wow, so you use the KKK to defeat his people.

Speaker 2 On their defense, though, it's like... They couldn't have picked any other name.
No, because there was. Well, actually, this formed before the KKK.

Speaker 2 Yeah, there was no internet back then, so it was like, you know, they just probably didn't know. No, but dude, look at when this started.
This is way before the KKK.

Speaker 2 I'm sure the Philippines have a proud voice, too.

Speaker 2 I was confused. 1892.
The KKK probably didn't start until what? What do you think? OX? Way before that. 1865?

Speaker 2 Right after slavery was abolished, probably. 1865.
All right. So

Speaker 2 this KKK was first. Dude, I would have loved to have gone to that first meeting.

Speaker 2 What do you think? In 1965? 1865? I would have loved. Do you think they would just show up? By the way,

Speaker 2 if a non-white guy came up with white power and they're like, it's too good. We have to

Speaker 2 use it. We have to use it.

Speaker 2 Like, you were sweeping up the floor and you just left and you're, why, pal?

Speaker 2 That meeting must have been crazy. 1865? Oh, my.
Where was it in a barn? Pulaski, Tennessee. Holy shit.
Pulaski, Tennessee.

Speaker 2 And you know what? What?

Speaker 2 How, what a bummer it must be to be born anywhere near there today,

Speaker 2 knowing the history of that. Right.
Right, you're just born there. Yeah.
Where is it? It's it's south of Nashville. It's in the middle of nowhere.
Wow. No shit.

Speaker 2 Do you think there's like a historical building that we could live on the way to Huntsville? Yeah. I've been there, by the way.
I've passed through this. I've told you the story.

Speaker 2 When you go down to play Huntsville, when you do the double, when you do Nashville Zanies and you go down, the driver told me that. He's like, you see that route over there?

Speaker 2 KKK started right down that road. Wow.
And I was like, wow. Wow, wow, wow.
Maybe I should go back home, is what I said. Maybe I should go back home.

Speaker 2 What is this? This is a Spanish journalist on TV while a Spanish man walks by her and grabs her ass and it becomes a holy. See, this is this is very par for the course for Spaniards.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you want to see this? Let's see it.

Speaker 2 Oh, I love this.

Speaker 2 Man, Bad Bunny is up to no good these days, huh?

Speaker 2 This guy causing trouble, he looks exactly like that guy.

Speaker 2 Sorry, I didn't want to touch your butt.

Speaker 2 I respect you, but I didn't want to touch your butt.

Speaker 2 You know, he touched your hair.

Speaker 2 That's even worse. Wow.
That's worse than the fucking butt, dude. Can you imagine if a guy did this in American culture?

Speaker 2 They would just

Speaker 2 give their entire existence. It's over.
Yeah. And so whenever somebody's like, oh,

Speaker 2 we're so sexist here in this country. Yeah, okay, we need to work on some stuff.
This kind of shit would, you could never do this on America.

Speaker 2 That guy would be ruined. He is ruined.
That guy?

Speaker 2 No chance. He's going to walk off just fine.
He lose his job, probably. He probably didn't lose his job.
Probably nothing happened to him. I mean, it's just a little smack.
See?

Speaker 2 You see? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's how they think.

Speaker 2 Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Watch this.

Speaker 2 Let's give him a a barometer. Let's test it.
Are you allowed to kiss strangers wherever you want, whenever you want?

Speaker 2 Just on the face. See? Just on the face.
Just on the face. Okay.
Because they kiss you. They go up to street kiss.
Do you have the culture where you kiss your dad on the lips?

Speaker 2 You know, he does for sure. There's no doubt in my mind.
Yeah. No, no, we don't.
You don't. On cheeks?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Nobody you know kisses on the mouth?

Speaker 2 My dad kissed us on the mouth. I know.
I didn't like it at all. Yeah, yeah.
No, not really. There is like like the two kisses.
Two kisses. Yeah, that's Europe.
What about in the Philippines?

Speaker 2 Do they kiss on the mouth? No. Like your mom, would you kiss your mom on the mouth?

Speaker 3 No. Your dad? No.

Speaker 2 No one in your family you'd kiss on the mouth? No. What about a cousin?

Speaker 2 That's our thing. Yeah, yeah, that's your thing.
That's our thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, you never kissed a cousin? No, let me ask you, is incest wrong? In the Philippines? I can take this one.

Speaker 2 I mean, what is it looked upon?

Speaker 3 It's wrong, but...

Speaker 2 But it's an island. Right.
There's only so many people you can pick from.

Speaker 3 Most of my uncle, like, liked their, um, like

Speaker 3 each other's cousins.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. Wait, but wait, wait, wait.
But not blood, not blood. Blood.
Oh,

Speaker 2 so, so, tell me, tell me a story. Yeah,

Speaker 2 yeah. No, like, okay.
The

Speaker 3 murderer?

Speaker 2 I know the murderer, yeah. Yeah.
Okay, so his great guy, by the way. Son.
Aside from the murdering.

Speaker 3 His sons were also weird that liked my mom's siblings and their cousins.

Speaker 2 And did they do anything? I don't.

Speaker 3 My mom said they did something. Like what?

Speaker 2 Like they dated.

Speaker 2 Okay. They dated and everybody was okay with it?

Speaker 2 No one says anything?

Speaker 2 That's not a weird family get-together?

Speaker 3 I don't know.

Speaker 2 Cousin is here with cousin and cousin's here. Where's the line? Second cousin, is that okay?

Speaker 2 Blood is the line. Blood is the line.

Speaker 2 Blood is is the line if there's a bloodline that runs through okay so if i like let's for instance yeah right you and i are kids yeah your dad single yeah dad's you yeah your mom passed away yeah okay sorry my mom right single yeah they got together right we're brothers yeah could we yeah no blood oh i see there's no blood there so in in woody allen that's well no woody allen was a little bit weirder than that Okay, that's a little weirder.

Speaker 2 That's a little weirder than what you just made. Yeah, yeah.
And, you know, I'm tired of you defending Woody Allen all the time. You do it it all the time.
Like, because you're a director, dude.

Speaker 2 Let it go. Let it go, dude.
All right. He's canceled.
You know, before the podcast,

Speaker 2 he literally goes to me, what did Bill Cosby do? That's what he said.

Speaker 2 I don't get it. It's a date.
It's a specifically dude. It's a date.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes out, he said, date.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 No, no. Yeah, there's no blood.

Speaker 2 If it's like you married someone's family through family, it's like, that's just someone you met through a family. I don't think it's chill, but it's no, there's no bloodline there.
Right.

Speaker 2 That's not, you know.

Speaker 3 But have you ever

Speaker 3 thought that your cousin was pretty?

Speaker 2 No. Why'd you pause?

Speaker 2 Because it's mean to say, because my, my cousin, that's like saying, are all your cousins ugly? Yeah. I framed it in a weird way.
One cousin.

Speaker 3 Like, you were, like, excited to meet them.

Speaker 2 No. But that's not the same thing.

Speaker 3 Because, like, they're like, I love them.

Speaker 2 I love them. And they're, and, and I do think that

Speaker 2 my cousins are, they're not ugly people, but to say, do you, I think they're pretty is weird. Do you never been attracted to them? Is what you're trying to say? Yeah.
No, no.

Speaker 2 But could you look at one of your cousins and go, she's attractive, although.

Speaker 2 I can look at them and go, they're not attractive. I'd say, oh,

Speaker 2 he's good looking or she's good looking. They're good looking.
So never. No, no, yeah.
Yes, no, no, no. I have handsome and pretty looking.

Speaker 3 But you've never been attracted and was like excited to like excited to see them because I'm cousins.

Speaker 2 Excited in what way? In a crushed way. No.
No, no, no, no, not in a crush. You have.
One time. Yeah, you see? You have.
She's trying to bury me in her shit. Because of your fucking.
Did you see that?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. She projected being like, you have, right? That pretty.
You have to say. It's like,

Speaker 2 you're trying to... Let me do that.

Speaker 2 That was such a... So fucking clever.
So clever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God. So this is your shit.
That's your shit. So when were you attracted to your cousin? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Like, when I was 15.

Speaker 2 Go on. And how old was your cousin?

Speaker 3 18.

Speaker 3 Is that weird?

Speaker 2 I mean, like, you're both in high school. That seems like that's when.
I think it's natural. What? To be attracted to your cousin?

Speaker 2 I mean, I wouldn't. Am I the white guy in this room or not?

Speaker 2 I thought that was our thing. No, bro.
I've never done it, right? But to me, like, just a girl

Speaker 2 lives on your cousin Paul. You're attracted to him? Okay, I have another cousin that's very attractive.
She's older than me. But growing up, I knew that she was attractive.
Just, you know,

Speaker 2 sure.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 what do you mean? But there was never any.

Speaker 2 No, that's like 90%. Like, I'm sure Brad Pitt's cousins are like, yeah, he's good looking.
Yeah. But it doesn't mean they want to fuck their cousin.
Right. But you think they would, would they?

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's Brad Pitt. Yeah, yeah, you would have to.
I mean, at some point, it's Brad Pitt. Yeah.

Speaker 2 A rapper investigative reporter entitled The Philippines Silent Incest Problem and the Incest Rate of the Country is 33%.

Speaker 2 That's huge. One third of your country.
33%. That's huge.
One third of your country. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 That's an epidemic. Dude, look what it says.
This number is likely underreported as many cases of incest are not brought to the attention of the authorities.

Speaker 2 This whole country is fucking their family. Yeah.

Speaker 2 What? It's a small island. That's what I said.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Any person who shall come, that is crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, don't laugh it off. So your cousin was 18, you were 15.
Did you tell him you thought he was attractive?

Speaker 3 No, because then that would just be so weird.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but then do it on a podcast for millions of people, I guess. It makes it less weird.
Did you wait? You never acted on it, though.

Speaker 3 No, but I was I told my other cousin, my girl cousin, and she thought it was weird and she stopped. Like, she said, don't ever say that again.

Speaker 2 I like her. I like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She knows what she's talking about.

Speaker 3 But I was like, you still?

Speaker 3 No, not now.

Speaker 2 She hasn't seen him in a long time. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 But I was like,

Speaker 3 like, hardcore crush.

Speaker 2 And who? Wow.

Speaker 2 Other than your one cousin. Who do you know who? Did you tell your mom?

Speaker 3 No, that was it.

Speaker 2 You just told her. You just told one cousin.
And how did you get rid of that? How did you get rid of this, this crush?

Speaker 3 Well, because he lives like far away from another island.

Speaker 2 Too far for you to do something bad. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Jesus,

Speaker 2 you're bad. But let me ask you, if he lived on your street

Speaker 2 100%. I'm not finished.
Oh, sorry. Would you eat rice cakes with him? Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's what I wanted to ask.

Speaker 2 You have a late-night batwing snack? Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
That's interesting. 33%.
That's really huge.

Speaker 2 What was this? USA, between 1980 and 2022, around 15% of families in the United States reported to have an event of incest incest in the family. That's a lot, dude.
15%?

Speaker 2 I mean, that's 15%?

Speaker 2 15% is a lot. Okay, let me tell you this.
85% of the country doesn't do that. Now, does that seem better? No, because 85%

Speaker 2 doesn't do it. When you're at the grove, you're walking, right? Yeah.
Count 10 people. Yeah.

Speaker 2 One of them has done it.

Speaker 2 That doesn't sound weird to you?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 When you see some of the people at the Grove, it actually adds up.

Speaker 2 Okay. My point is: have you been out in public? A lot of weirdos out in public? The more people I go out and the more people I see, the more I'm like, wow, we have a lot of weirdos.
Oh, wife.

Speaker 2 There's more weirdos than that. I would assume there'd be way more crossing than 15%.
Yeah. You're friends with Brodie Jenner?

Speaker 2 Yeah. How long have you guys been friends? I love his coffee.

Speaker 2 He makes coffee? Yeah. Let's see.
All right, so I just came out to make us both some coffee, and we are out of almond milk. But I did find one thing.

Speaker 2 Now, I hear great things about breast milk. I hear it's very nutritious.
I hear it's very delicious.

Speaker 2 He's putting his fiancée's breast milk in his coffee. In her coffee, too, though? In her own? Probably.
I mean,

Speaker 2 if he's into it.

Speaker 2 Now, how do we feel about this?

Speaker 2 I'm okay with that. I would do it.
And not surprised.

Speaker 2 Act like I just ate your

Speaker 2 foot chips an hour ago. He added a splash of unconventional creamer to him and his wife.

Speaker 2 Is he getting canceled for this or what? No. Why would he get canceled? There's nothing wrong about it.
I mean,

Speaker 2 I think it's cool for the baby to drink for nutritional purposes, but unless that espresso shot is for his baby, would you drink your wife's breast milk and coffee?

Speaker 2 I've always wanted to try breast milk. You've never tried it? I'll do a shot of it, yeah.
You never tried it? You have there's a place on Melrose that sells tit milk. It's called tit milk.

Speaker 2 Yeah, what does it taste like? Does it take like copy? I've never tasted it. Who's really sweet?

Speaker 2 You know that there's a store in the Philippines that sells breast milk. You've had it? Yeah, but my mom.
But you don't remember as a baby?

Speaker 3 Because when she gave birth to my youngest sister, oh, yeah, because she's much older than her kid or her brother.

Speaker 2 So you tried it or she gave it to you?

Speaker 3 I tried it.

Speaker 2 Shut up. Did you drink it? Steal it or did she? Was she asleep and you took it? When When she was just resting, she and Rudy.

Speaker 3 When she was pumping milk, I just asked her, Oh, can I try it?

Speaker 2 And she just

Speaker 2 and you sucked it from the tit.

Speaker 2 Say you sucked it from the tit. Do you suck it from the tit or say you sucked it from the tit? I sucked it from the tit.
Did you really?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Okay, you sucked it and it tasted sweet.

Speaker 2 But how old were you?

Speaker 2 17?

Speaker 2 No!

Speaker 2 It was just during your crush with your cousin.

Speaker 2 I don't think there's anything wrong with this. If him and his wife, that's fine.
It's just unusual. I would just drink my coffee black that day.
Yummy too. I'm not going to put my wife's breast milk.

Speaker 2 What? I have a confession. Here we go.
Here we go. This is the stuff we love.
Go ahead. I had some this summer.
You had breast milk this summer?

Speaker 2 Whoms?

Speaker 2 From a lady that came over to my house. So a pregnant woman or a woman who, I mean, a woman who had just given birth? She just gave birth.
And she's milking.

Speaker 2 Yeah, she was milking, and that was like part of the appeal. I was like, oh, like an extra thing.
Timeout. Did you ask for that? Like, is this a service you order

Speaker 2 a woman who is this a thing you do? No, it was an

Speaker 2 this is a service. He orders women that just give birth to come over so you can suck on their breast milk.
It was an escort and like an extra thing was like

Speaker 2 oh, that's a bonus add-on? Oh, major. Major.

Speaker 2 Is that like a fetish? In the escort category, there was a fetish of people who want to drink drink breast milk with their escort.

Speaker 2 It's like while you're doing things, she'll like squeeze them and like milk goes everywhere. How much more money is that than the regular like a hundred dollar add-on?

Speaker 2 It's like, oh, it's an easy way to make money if you just had a kid.

Speaker 2 It's an easy way to make money. You sound like a sad pimp.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Hey, baby, it's an easy way to make money if you just had a kid.

Speaker 2 Go ahead. Go ahead.

Speaker 2 Go ahead and honk that titty all over that dude. I thought it was really hot.
So when Brody Jenner is like doing the coffee thing, I was like, oh, I would definitely do that.

Speaker 2 Explain to me, when you're hooking up with this person,

Speaker 2 you need help. You do, yeah, you do.
It's just more liquids. You need to help, man.
Did you drink it while you were hooking up? Some guy, I went like. And it was sweet, like Rudy said.

Speaker 2 It was slightly sweet. It was like, yeah.
Oh, that sounds good, though. Sounds good, yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, sometimes you get parched in the middle of it. You know, I know.

Speaker 2 Sweet is bad. It's good.
You know, you run it. I always, I, if it was sour, then we'd have a problem.
No, but maybe that. I like sour stuff, too.
Like a sour patch kit. I'd love a good sour patch kit.

Speaker 2 Oh, that'd be nice. A little sour patch tit? Yeah.

Speaker 2 So you hooked up with this person. You did this.
She gave you some breast milk during hooking up and after.

Speaker 2 And then you did it again? Was this your last time?

Speaker 2 I had seen her before and last time she did it too. Let me ask you something.

Speaker 2 Have you eaten poop? Cum? I've never eaten cum.

Speaker 2 Why are you looking at me like I? Because we don't believe you. Really? Yeah.
I've never eaten cum. That wasn't my own.

Speaker 2 That wasn't your own. I've tried my own.
Never. When did you try your own? I mean, like in my lifetime.
When? It wasn't like last month. I didn't want to know.

Speaker 2 It could have been the last year. I think the past couple of years.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 We got to get you to a facility. Yeah, yeah.
With real doctors. With a real doctor.
You can't go to one of those ones on Sunset. I didn't know that was bad to try your own cum.

Speaker 2 It's not bad, but it's not good. It's not good either.
You know, it's like liking your second cousin. It's not bad, but it's not good either.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 Like we said to her.

Speaker 2 Thanks for being honest. I appreciate it.
Yeah, yeah. But I do think that that's a crazy thing that there's add-ons now.

Speaker 2 Sex is not good enough. You need to suck tit milk to like amp it up.
But it's also like a performance, like while you're having sex, it's like a show. Exactly.

Speaker 2 You need more than just the sex and the companionship. At this point, really.

Speaker 2 I need a whole production. See, this is what my fear is, Bob.
We talked about this. I'm afraid he's going to get to like, it's like choke stuff.
Oh, yeah, and in excess. Yes, and then

Speaker 2 in excess and God bless NXS. Oh, wow.
So I'm afraid you're going to go to the next level. Yeah, that's.
Don't do that. Please don't do that.

Speaker 2 I'm not. Because it'll be embarrassing for bad friends.

Speaker 2 Well, it'd be make for a good pod. It would be nice.
But I'll say this. I went to a store in New York that was a high-end sex store in Soho.
Really high-end. Like super, super dope high.

Speaker 2 Because when you walk in, you don't think it's a sex store. That's what's the cool thing about it.
But the toys were crazy creative.

Speaker 2 And there was one of them where you can tie yourself up like a little machine where you can wrap ropes around yourself, around your head and your neck and your arms, like tie yourself up because you don't.

Speaker 2 Sometimes I think people need someone to tie them up and you can still perform with toys and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 There's a harness for a toy. Wow.
I kind of wanted to buy it for you.

Speaker 2 I would never. It was four grand.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 you know what I would use? What? One of those Mike Pence, you know, hang my

Speaker 2 January 6th, the A guillotine?

Speaker 2 No, one of those. A guillotine.
No, a Mike Pence one.

Speaker 2 A noose. A noose, yeah.

Speaker 2 Can you give me a Mike Pence noose? Why? Does he make them? No, but

Speaker 2 didn't they do that in January 6th? Yeah, Mike Pence. Hey, Mike Pence.

Speaker 2 He should have used that and branded it and then made

Speaker 2 that would have been great for him. MP noose's oh my god.
Those would have flown off the shelves.

Speaker 2 The MP noose?

Speaker 2 It would have, dude. Get yourself an MP noose? Yeah, dude.
Look at that thing, dude. That was him.
Trader. Yeah.
Wow.

Speaker 2 What is this? You sent me this a while ago. Find this video, dude.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 I love this.

Speaker 2 So, this is this asshole on YouTube who like goes up to people and he fucks with them. You know, like, pranks, all these guys that do pranks.
Yeah, yeah. So, put these guys.
I hate this fucking guy.

Speaker 2 I hate these guys. Puts a phone up to his ear.
The guy says, stop. He says, get away, stop.
He keeps doing it. Now look what the guy does.

Speaker 2 Pulls out a gun, shoots him.

Speaker 2 Pulls out a gun and shoots him.

Speaker 3 That was good.

Speaker 2 That was good. That was good.
That was good. That was good.
Thank you. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Shoots the guy. And by the way, the kid lives.
He does. Guy lives.
Yeah. They took this case to court, and if I'm not incorrect, the shooter won.

Speaker 2 He did not get charged because it was an act of self-defense. The jury found that this guy was acting in self-defense, and I love it.
I love it too. Because leave that guy the fuck alone.
No, dude.

Speaker 2 Leave him alone. You see those ones in Home Depot where a guy will come up with a fucking thing.
Nah!

Speaker 2 And scare people? You should should be able to shoot that guy. Yeah, shoot that guy.
Shoot that guy. Yeah, yeah.
No, I'm not even kidding. And you know what's so fucking annoying?

Speaker 2 So the guy got off on the charge. That's the best thing I've ever seen.
But the guy got off on the charge. The kid lived.
He didn't kill him.

Speaker 2 If he killed him, I think it would have been a different story. Why? Well, because of murder.
I mean, it's

Speaker 2 murder. I know, I get it now.
I get it. I get it now.
You know murder, right?

Speaker 2 But this idiot, this YouTube kid, says, I'm not going to stop doing it. Now he's like, oh, no, I'm still going to.
I'm still going to keep doing pranks. That's what he said.
After court.

Speaker 2 There he is right there.

Speaker 2 And then, why do they always look like big, dumb, fucking goons? Look at this fucking big, dumb goon. He still lives at home with his mom.
By the way, the guy who shot the gun, bravo. Aim up.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? Aim up, dude. No, no, all right.
I'm just on my stomach. This is a bad ad for Popeyes, though.
Yeah, yeah. Love that gun from Popeyes.

Speaker 2 What was the bit, though? Was it a bit like he was playing himself? It was something on the phone. It was an audio thing.
I couldn't make out, but I think it was probably like,

Speaker 2 you know, like, whatever it is. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 But he shot him and he got away with it. And I got to tell you.
What?

Speaker 2 totally cool with it. And what state is it?

Speaker 2 Uh, well, Dulles is

Speaker 2 uh, D.C., right? I don't know, it looks like Washington, yeah, D.C.

Speaker 2 Prepare something for you guys. We were so excited for one million for the one million episodes

Speaker 2 that we decided to sing a song to you guys. Oh my god, they're gonna sing a song to us like barbershop quartet.
Let's see, oh, go ahead.

Speaker 2 It's gotta be harmonized. Gilbert did such a good job with your a cappella, you know, 400 episodes.
With your acapella,

Speaker 2 we decided to do the same. Okay, good.
I love it. Okay.

Speaker 2 I pay my dues.

Speaker 2 Wait, stop. Time out, timeout, timeout, timeout.
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Speaker 2 We want an original song.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we won an original song. You are going to sing We Are the Champions? Yeah,

Speaker 2 here's the deal: you sing a song, it can't be

Speaker 2 a mockery of another song.

Speaker 2 It's going to be an original song that we've never heard before.

Speaker 2 No, so start over. I don't care what you have, lyric-wise, make it up.
Make it up. Make it up.
All right.

Speaker 2 Andrew just paid me

Speaker 2 in Boston. We need to talk about that.
We shouldn't pay him anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go ahead. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I got laid. Why are you looking down like you're reading it?

Speaker 2 You're making it up. Yeah.
Because I'm chill. Okay, okay.
It's also still too much like Queen.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no. I don't want that.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Do a different harmony. Different harmony, dude.

Speaker 2 Come on.

Speaker 2 Thank you, Andrew. Thank you, Bobby.
Yeah. Y'all are my friends.

Speaker 2 We work together. That part is true.
Thank you for the hotel rooms. Yes.
They are fun. Sometimes I bring girls back.

Speaker 2 Thank you, Rudy. Well.

Speaker 2 For being here and always supporting me.

Speaker 2 Rudy likes dogs. Bobby eats dogs.

Speaker 2 Bobby loves dogs.

Speaker 2 Andrew kind of likes his dog, I think.

Speaker 2 I think you're going to harmonize and stuff. This is a bullshit song, dude.

Speaker 2 I was going to do Freddy Mercury. No.
But Carlos. I mean, me and Andrew can sing a song right now, though.
Easily.

Speaker 2 We're not, but we're not.

Speaker 2 Good.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, well, I need Fancy and Macon to help me out here.
You, three, you, three, are shit.

Speaker 2 You, three, you three are shit. You're bad at your jobs.
You're bad at your jobs. We can't.
You're the bottom of the barrel. You, you're the bottom of the barrel.
No, you don't like you. You're chip.

Speaker 2 We're chip.

Speaker 2 What'd you say? What'd you do? What did you say? We're chip.

Speaker 2 Wait. I just want to hurry.

Speaker 2 We're chip. You're chip.
We're chip. We're chip.
You're chip.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 2 You're chips? Yeah.

Speaker 2 What did you say? We are chip. Oh, cheap.

Speaker 2 Oh, cheap.

Speaker 2 I thought you were saying we're Doritos chips. Yeah, we're chips.
We're chips. I'm sour cream and onion chip.
Yeah, cool ranch chip. I'm a cool ranch Dorito chip.
Yeah. Macone is a fun yun.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Actually, no, Macone is a bugle.
Remember bugles? Yeah. That guy's a fucking bugle.
Actually, if we were going to name them as chips, fancy would be what?

Speaker 2 Fancy would be just regular lays, like the original Lays?

Speaker 2 The greasy little kind of they're underrated, they're good, but they're not that good. Carl's is a cheap tortilla chip with bad salsa.
With like, yeah, with like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 With the one you go, you know what I mean? And it's watery,

Speaker 2 super watery.

Speaker 2 And then what's McCone? McConnell. A wood chip?

Speaker 2 Yeah, a bag of wood chips. A bag of wood chips, dude.

Speaker 2 You're a bag of wood chips, man.

Speaker 2 Well, thank you for the 1 million subscribers. Thank you for being a bad song.
I have a question.

Speaker 2 This is what we like.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah. Wait, there's this trend in TikTok where the girls ask the boys if they ever think about the Roman Empire.
And all of the...

Speaker 2 Yeah, what is this thing? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't get it.

Speaker 3 They say like three times a week.

Speaker 2 They think about it.

Speaker 2 How often do you think about the Roman Empire? We'll say it at the same time because I know it's the same answer. One, two, three, zero.
Every day. What?

Speaker 2 Every day. Every day.
Oh, fuck. Of course I think about it every day.
Yeah, I mean, every day. The Roman Empire, one of the most influential time periods in history? Yes, of course.

Speaker 2 I think about the Roman Empire. Really? How could you not? Yeah, I don't think about the Roman Empire ever.

Speaker 2 I don't stop thinking about it. I'm thinking about it constantly.
Yeah. There isn't one moment in my day that I don't think about the Roman Empire in comparison to what I'm doing.

Speaker 2 I'm at Jersey Mike's thinking about the Roman Empire. What about you guys?

Speaker 2 Like three times a month. I only know one Roman Empire guy, Pontius Pilate.
Yes.

Speaker 2 That's the main guy, right? What did he do?

Speaker 2 that's the bono what it's the bono of it's the bono of of of romans he's like the you two of romans no he clipped his hands he's isn't pontius the one that did the stab yeah he yeah and jesus yeah he's the he's the evil bag yeah he's a fuckbag that guy He's from Abrusso, Italy.

Speaker 2 I don't ever think about the Roman Empire. That's an insane question.

Speaker 2 Do girls think about the Roman Empire? No, they're asking young men how often they think about it. And men are like, I don't know, like once a month.
I've never thought about it.

Speaker 2 I've never think about it.

Speaker 2 I don't ever think about it. So, okay.

Speaker 3 Because all the men on TikTok say they think about it like three times a week.

Speaker 2 Maybe some of these men do. I don't ever think about it.
Are they all white guys? Be honest. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whites. Yeah.
What else do you see? What else is trendy shit for your age, Rube?

Speaker 2 We could.

Speaker 3 Wait, I want to show you something.

Speaker 3 It's my nostalgic Filipino song.

Speaker 3 And I want you to see the video. Oh, boy.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 We sing a long tri-long.

Speaker 2 Oh, look at her.

Speaker 2 This is the cut.

Speaker 2 Press pause.

Speaker 2 So are these guys popular?

Speaker 3 They were really popular when I was like 13 years old.

Speaker 2 1.7 million views? 14 years ago? That's before anything got that kind of number. Yeah.
So

Speaker 2 like if you had seen them in the streets, you would have chased down the street, like chased them?

Speaker 3 Yeah. But that's what I would like always like listen to.

Speaker 2 Imagine if that was her cousin. Oh my god.

Speaker 2 The tag-along rap that

Speaker 2 do you know what they're saying? No, can you translate? I know.

Speaker 2 Okay, what is it? It was kind of saying, I really do knew something. I picked up on somebody.
It was saying something to the effect of like,

Speaker 2 there's plenty of fish in the sea, but it's like, if you read it,

Speaker 3 you read that. What? You read that on the comments.

Speaker 2 Read what on the comments? What are you talking about? He knows.

Speaker 2 When did I read it in the comments?

Speaker 2 No. Yeah.
When did I read it in the comments? Okay. There's no way you read that on the Taiwan.

Speaker 2 What? When? We just showed the video. Fish on the sea.
Yeah, I got that too. Plenty of fish in the sea.

Speaker 2 Exactly. But it's or it's like easy if you're...

Speaker 2 It's easy to catch one if you're not. If you're not, like, if, you know, if you're just heart is open.
Yeah. Is that what he means? You read that somewhere.
No, I didn't. Where?

Speaker 2 Where did I read it? We have iTunes and fucking Spotify. We listen to this shit, too.

Speaker 3 Who read that somewhere? No.

Speaker 2 Where? Where did I read it?

Speaker 3 That's kind of true.

Speaker 3 But on the chorus, it says, we're tired of girls.

Speaker 2 Playing us.

Speaker 2 So we're going. Yeah, exactly.
So we're going to. Going to go to go down to the.

Speaker 3 So we're going to go to

Speaker 2 the beach.

Speaker 2 Right? To see the fish.

Speaker 3 To the gays.

Speaker 2 Yeah, to the gays. This song is about being gay.
But where's the gays? At the beach, bitch. Yeah.
Where do you think they live? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where are you?

Speaker 2 Gay guys live at the beach, right? Yeah. Anthem? Yeah, it's a gay anthem of the 90s.
Wow, look at them. Oh, they are gay.
So they're basically saying girls are shit, guys are the best.

Speaker 2 And if you want to be happy in life, you got to be gay. Yeah.
If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a war, man, your wife. So

Speaker 2 personal point of view, get a fucking dude to marry you. Are they still big in the Philippines? Like, if, like, are there what? I don't know.
I haven't heard from them in a while.

Speaker 2 Oh, you keep in contact with those guys? No.

Speaker 2 What do you mean you haven't heard from them? You haven't heard.

Speaker 3 Like, there's new songs.

Speaker 2 By the way, look at how corny, even the parental advisory. Look at the top right.
Look what they're talking about. Babalas.
Babala, be careful. Babala.

Speaker 2 Go get your babala.

Speaker 3 Okay, I have another question.

Speaker 2 What is it? By the way, before you go, what does it say at the bottom? Daitang Lasan? That's their group name. Is Daitang Lasan? Yeah.
What does that mean?

Speaker 3 I don't know. I'm not Tagalog.
I'm Bisaya.

Speaker 2 It doesn't matter. It's close.
I speak Ebonics.

Speaker 2 And English.

Speaker 2 I know slang, right? That's slang.

Speaker 2 If somebody said that shit is cap, dog, I know he's saying that you're a

Speaker 2 other thing. You're lying.

Speaker 3 Oh, and my other thing is...

Speaker 3 Tito Andre, are you a football fan?

Speaker 3 Not the, not the soccer.

Speaker 2 American football. American football, yeah, why?

Speaker 3 Did you know that Taylor Swift put

Speaker 3 his name?

Speaker 2 Well, this joke isn't going to work unless you say it the right way. Wait, let me look him up.
Travis Kelsey.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Did you know that Taylor Swift put Travis Kelsey on the map?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Oh, my God.
I've heard this before. And let me tell you something.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Easy to.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 2 I get it. She does that to me, too.
She doesn't even know who Travis Kelsey is. She has no idea.

Speaker 3 You don't know who Twelveyard. That's why what I'm saying is true.

Speaker 2 Did Taylor Swift win two Super Bowls?

Speaker 2 Did she win two Super Bowls? Is she a world champion twice?

Speaker 3 Taylor Swift can

Speaker 3 sell

Speaker 3 that stuff.

Speaker 2 I want to say something right now. I'm fucking tired of this shit.
Let me say something right now. What does pop music stand for? Popular music.
Popular music. Right.
Popular music is for dumb-dums.

Speaker 2 Wait a minute. I like a lot of pop music.
I know me too. Some of it.
Some of it I like. But

Speaker 2 my point is that, you know, for instance... One of the greatest albums ever made is the Velvet Underground album with the banana on it, right? They only sold 500 copies of that when it first came out.

Speaker 2 But the reason why it's in the top 100 best albums ever made is because it's influential. It's fucking good shit, right?

Speaker 2 popular doesn't mean that it's fucking great and taylor swift is talented but she's not the all be all be of all of it preach preach preach

Speaker 2 subscribers we're so popular we're a million subscribers god man i'm tired of this taylor swift shit dude she's talented i get it she's very talented yeah but she's not the in 20 years no one's gonna give a fuck she's like tiffany no i think i think she's a little bit more popular than tiffany okay so sorry all right sorry sorry all right a little bit a little bit more yeah yeah but look in the same way that like madonna was an international superstar, right?

Speaker 2 Huge, Madonna was globally.

Speaker 2 Obviously, because it was predated the internet, she wasn't as big as Taylor Swift, right? Because the internet, but if Madonna came in right now, we'd be like, What's up, Madonna?

Speaker 2 Well, we'd be like, Hey, is everything okay? Because she's been scaring me in the last couple of years. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She has a British accent for some reason, and she's from Jersey.

Speaker 2 My point is that things fade, it's a fad. No, but she's incredibly huge, talented person, very talented.
It's a fad, and and you know what? She put Travis Kelsey on the map.

Speaker 2 No, I want to see that video

Speaker 2 after the first round, I realized that she was a lot tough.

Speaker 2 Although I expected her to be tough, I just expected her to show a bit more tiredness.

Speaker 2 All the five rounds. It did not look like it.
I enjoyed the whole process, and I enjoyed being in the room.

Speaker 2 Press pause. You enjoyed the whole process? Oh my god.
Your face is in other parts of the country now.

Speaker 2 Yeah. What the fuck do you mean? A tooth is missing.
She's gashed up. You're a Mr.
Potato Head. Like, your eye is in your fucking neck.
Your neck is in your eye.

Speaker 2 This is, by the way, I don't know if you know this. This is bare knuckle.
Women's bare knuckle boxing. Not UFC.
This is bare knuckle, raw knuckle to face.

Speaker 2 That's why it's so brutal because there's no padding at all. Look at her.
She's fine. Fun little baby rap.
She's fine. Look at her.
She enjoyed the process a little bit more. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, go back to the original photo. The very first.
What? What fight? I got to see this fight, by the way. You enjoyed the fucking fight?

Speaker 2 I mean, she's getting

Speaker 2 worked.

Speaker 2 it didn't go the way i wanted to how long do you think i would last with that girl in bed no in the in the ring oh in bed i'd be like probably a long time yeah yeah but in the ring you think bare knuckle bare knuckle one punch you're gone i'd be give me two punches no chance i'd bet my bank account please give me two punches if the first one didn't land yeah all right it was like a chip you probably do a round i could get a whole round with her yeah so yeah i'd get a whole round yeah yeah yeah but you think you'd lose most likely yeah because i'd want i don't want to look like that when it's over i'd want to bail but wouldn't it be fun to watch a dude fighting no you me specifically her it'd be fun to watch yeah just me fighting bare no i'd be in your corner right i'd splash water in the air that's not what they do in the corner i know but that's what you think that's what they do in the corner

Speaker 2 the referee comes over like sir if your corner doesn't have splash of water in the air we're gonna disqualify you yeah i would do all kinds of stuff i would do the powder

Speaker 2 why what is that gonna do for me don't they have powder yeah but what that's for that's for keeping your that's

Speaker 2 i don't care i would do it i would do it in in their eyes. Don't they do that in WWF? You know what you'd want to do?

Speaker 2 You'd want to rub the goop with the wound, rub my wounds, my goo, the goop over the eyes. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Close up my eyes. What would I put in there? You know what I would put? I would put the tiger.

Speaker 2 Tiger balm? Tiger balm. In my eyes? Yes, right in your eyeball.
Oh, I don't want that. Yeah, yeah.
And Benguet. I would do a mixture, my own mixture.
And

Speaker 2 I would put tiger balm, blow fucking powder in your eyes and splash you with water. You'd be ready for the second round.
Yeah, I'd lose immediately. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They couldn't have called it.

Speaker 2 What would you do in my corner? Huh? What would you do in my corner? I wouldn't be there. I know you wouldn't.
Yes, I would. I'm not in your mouth.
I'll turn around and you're gone.

Speaker 2 No, I go, I guess I go, Bobby, run, run, run. Oh, yeah.
I would make you get them tired. God, that would be so fucking petrifying.
To be in a bare-knuckle fight. With her? Anybody.
Period. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't want to be bare knuckles. I could deal with her, Jules.
She could put up a fight, dude.

Speaker 3 No, I'm weak.

Speaker 2 She's weak. Okay, well, thank you for being a bad friend.