Bussin' Boys Bully Bobbo

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Speaker 1 Hey!

Speaker 1 We have a Patreon, and let me say something, okay? Give it to them. Nothing changes.
Yeah. You're going to get the episodes when you get them, like normal.
Just like normal.

Speaker 1 If you're a bad friends fan, a super fan, and you like deep cuts and you like extra stuff,

Speaker 1 you're going to get it. You're going to get lovely things.
That's right. So let me tell you something.
There's two tiers to this. Both people are going to get great stuff.

Speaker 1 You're going to get behind-the-scenes footage. And if you want, we might sneak in some tour footage that we had documented

Speaker 1 like this.

Speaker 1 Both of us being judges is funny. Yeah, yeah, both of us being lawyers.
She should be the only one with one of these.

Speaker 1 It's a first night out, dude. There's much more to come.

Speaker 1 So, Bob,

Speaker 1 nothing has changed for all of the Bad Friends fans out there, but if you want a little extra and you want to see the episodes on Friday instead of Monday without ads, join the Patreon.

Speaker 1 You could go to high school, right? But you could also be a cool kid. You could be a cool kid.
Right, and I want to be a cool kid. You do.

Speaker 1 So, if you want to be just a guy going to high school, that's fine. That's cool, too.
Yeah, that's cool, too. Yeah, yeah.
But I, you know, I got the leather jacket, cigarette. You do?

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I'm the guy leaning against the wall, going, hey, baby, what's up? I'm a cool kid. Why don't you click on it?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Go to patreon.com/slash bad friends.
Patreon.com/slash bad friends.

Speaker 1 I honestly love you guys so much. And I'm being real.
And I was, I feel like I was being a bully this episode. What are you talking about? I was being really bullied, too.

Speaker 1 Well, then do you want to make up for it? Give him a kiss on the mouth, both of them.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Give him a kiss. If you want to feel good about the boys, give the boys a kiss.

Speaker 1 Nobody's going to think you're a bully now, pal. Get in there for that one.

Speaker 1 He enjoyed it. You see that? I'm sorry.
Do you feel better now?

Speaker 1 My lips were a little bit open, and then when you hit them together, the saliva closed like my lips.

Speaker 1 I was puckered up, too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And honestly,

Speaker 1 there could have been a spark.

Speaker 1 A little zest, a little zest.

Speaker 1 You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 A white dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 We're bad friends.

Speaker 1 Introduce our guest, Bob. All right, I'll try, man.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Busting, man. You like busting? You like bus boys?

Speaker 1 I love restaurants.

Speaker 1 You know, you know, people, you know what, the waitresses and waiters, they get all the credit. And the manager.
Servers and servettes. Exactly.

Speaker 1 Right. But what the people, the dishwashers and the bus boys, they didn't get nothing.

Speaker 1 Just let me get there. Dishwasher, bus boys.
Let me get there. And these guys are the bussin' boys.
And let me say something. We've got right here, dude.
His name is Will.

Speaker 1 Will what?

Speaker 1 What's his name?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Come on.
Will Arnett. It's a city in Southern California here.

Speaker 1 I'll take that. Where is

Speaker 1 Fontana? No, no, no. Slow down.

Speaker 1 South Central Los Angeles. Compton.
Where's Englewood? Yes, Will Englewood.

Speaker 1 William Englewood. We got Will Englewood.

Speaker 1 Taylor. And Taylor Hawthorne.
Hawthorne? No. Swift.
Just naming cities. All right, Taylor is a city.

Speaker 1 It's another city in Southern California. Anyway, we got Taylor.

Speaker 1 Well, it's not fair because I've never met him before. Will Compton and Taylor San San Pedro.
Ah, where the bell is.

Speaker 1 Ah, I saw, I saw. Lewin.
Yeah. Lewin.
What are your last name? I'm sorry. Lewin.
Compton.

Speaker 1 Hey, fuck it, man. Hey, dude.
Sorry. Someone's down,

Speaker 1 yeah. No, no, no.
It's good. The wine shirt is.

Speaker 1 I'll go back. Me, we're colorful.

Speaker 1 You guys look like we usually look, and then we were trying to look like busting. Oh,

Speaker 1 special guests. We're like, let's be festive.
We got excited. You guys look great.
You look great. So we heard that we couldn't coordinate this with you guys because you guys were at camp.

Speaker 1 Did you boys go to camp?

Speaker 1 We went to some summer camp. What happened at camp? You know, we hung out with some boys.
What else do you do at camp, dude?

Speaker 1 Hang out with a couple of boys, relax.

Speaker 1 Did a little podcast with just, you know, grab everybody. Hey, how you feeling? You healthy? You healthy out there? Size them up a little bit.
They were at camp. Do you know where they were? Why?

Speaker 1 Will Semity. Yeah, right, you were at the Big Bear.

Speaker 1 Mammoth. They were at Mammoth.
Mammoth. Yeah.
What were you doing out there, dude? Our parents were away, and so we went there for a three-night stay, and we just finished. We're back in town, baby.

Speaker 1 When mom and dad are over here, we're happy to be here.

Speaker 1 And boys will play. Yeah, you guys are at the Chargers camp today? Chargers yesterday, Raiders today.
Yeah. Raiders, dog.

Speaker 1 But they're in Los Angeles. They're in fucking Vegas.

Speaker 1 Hey, that's really good. Is that good? That's a fucking really good.
Fucking Raiders, dog. What about me, dog? I fucking eat some chicharrones.
Chicha.

Speaker 1 Hey, my dog.

Speaker 1 What about me, dog? That's all. It's me, it's a little homie.
So wait a minute. What?

Speaker 1 The Raiders are out here for camp? Yeah, the Raiders are practicing against the Chargers. Why do they do it? Oh, right, right, right.
No. No, the Raiders are practicing against the Rams.
Yep.

Speaker 1 And we were at the Chargers. They did their thing.
We went to see the Rams. They were going against the Saints.
Beautiful minds right now.

Speaker 1 Nothing's adding up. Anyways, they were at football.
You don't watch football? You don't have to play football? He's a football guy. He's a football guy.

Speaker 1 You're not as much a football guy. Oh, fuck yeah, dude.
What's your football?

Speaker 1 He actually is a football guy. T.O., dude.
Football

Speaker 1 on a global scale. Bobby, what is your soccer? What's your fucking deal?

Speaker 1 Do you have a sport? I have many deals. your

Speaker 1 deal of life? What are you into? It's me, little homie.

Speaker 1 You know, all the little homies, we're based off. Yeah.
No, what's up? What do you mean? Like, what are you into, buddy? I mean, this is you and I. I'm a sports person, dude.
I'm a jock, dude.

Speaker 1 So, you know, I'm into like fucking, I'm into like soccer and stuff. Stop looking at them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Are you shocked at your favorite soccer?

Speaker 1 Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's up, Will? Hold on. Okay.
I'm going to tell you something I'm thinking about myself, dude. Wow.
I know Ron Gronkowski. Rob Gronkowski? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, he thinks his name is Rom Gronkowski. Rob Gronkowski.
I know Serena and Jesus Williams.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I play soccer. I watch soccer.
Slow down. It's okay.

Speaker 1 Listen, when I have alpha mills. You're doing it again.
I know. When there's alpha mills in the room, dude, dude, when there's alpha, I feel like I'm.

Speaker 1 I feel like a trip. When you're out of the dude, he gets so nervous.
I'm a predator.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you guys get a predator dermy. You're okay, buddy.

Speaker 1 So anyway, I'm surviving, dude. Fight and fight.

Speaker 1 Do you want to go get a fancy film? Yeah,

Speaker 1 I want to ask a genuine question. Go ahead, dude.
Were you fired up when Messi came over to Miami?

Speaker 1 Oh, no. To the MLS.
Well, I mean, you know,

Speaker 1 I wasn't a Realmed. I mean, a Barcelona fan.
I wasn't a PSG fan because those were the teams. And I'm not an Argentina fan, but I think he's a great player.
But no, so I wasn't not.

Speaker 1 Now, if you were going to say that, like, because I'm an Arsenal FC fan, if you said that Bukayo Saka was going to LA Galaxy, I'd be excited. Yeah, Yeah, but you're going to like the MLS.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but if one of my Arsenal dudes came to America, then I'd be a fan. Yeah, but what would you do? You wouldn't go to a game.

Speaker 1 He might. I didn't make him a jersey.
First of all, dude, Arsenal was here and played here. He didn't even go to that game.
His favorite team was here. I don't know why.
From London.

Speaker 1 Can I tell you why?

Speaker 1 Of course. Hell yeah, yeah.
Hell yeah. Gentlemen.

Speaker 1 Because you said you gave me a ticket. I did get you a ticket.
No, you didn't. But I gave it to someone else.

Speaker 1 i did you're a fucker you go i'm you you you bit

Speaker 1 gonna get box seats we did yeah you red red carpet the whole thing nothing you never called me nothing well i would just be

Speaker 1 somebody more important came along who was it yeah who was it ken jong

Speaker 1 okay

Speaker 1 that was funny well

Speaker 1 i'm an easy crowd i'm an easy crowd

Speaker 1 he's a hardcore foot uh soccer football fan i i i am a football fan but that i wouldn't say that's my

Speaker 1 bag. No, no, no, it is.
I just think that's not my number one.

Speaker 1 I'm a baseball basketball guy. Really? I can get behind basketball, but baseball, bro.
Love baseball. You got to put steroids back in it.
Baseball, you got to fucking

Speaker 1 baseball is the greatest.

Speaker 1 No question. Live sport to go to where you don't have to be at.
It's the best. The best live sport you can go to to not be at.

Speaker 1 The best live sport you can go to and you don't have to be at. You can just exist.
You catch a couple innings. You go get drunk.
You can mill about. You don't need to physically zoom in.

Speaker 1 You can just kind of go as you please. You don't need to pay attention the whole time.
It's so fucking long. You just take your time.

Speaker 1 At a football game, at a basketball, I have to watch everything all the time. It's because baseball is not as fun of a sport.
No, no.

Speaker 1 No, you're looking at it wrong. It's more goofballness going on.
You just go do other shit. It's more of a thing that's happening while you're there.

Speaker 1 I feel like if that was the intention of other baseball games, they would put some music. That sucks.
They do. At the park.
They do. What do they do? There's a pool.

Speaker 1 There's a pool in Arizona. Dodgers games.
They're stabbings out in center field all the time. You can get to a knife fight in the middle of a Dodgers game.
Nothing like a little read and react.

Speaker 1 Wayne, why does it in football you take breaks, bro? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Keep it going. Yeah, just keep it going.
They stop at commercial. And then they're huddling.
What are you talking about? Just fucking what to do next, brother. Oh, yeah, bro.
I'm fucking into it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Formations? Formations? Right.

Speaker 1 Keep going, dude. You're what's going to happen in Soccer.
Soccer, they just jog around the whole time. Oh, balls.

Speaker 1 They jog around the car. They just jog around the whole time.

Speaker 1 Okay. They jog around.
They just jog around.

Speaker 1 The ball's in front of you. Let's try to kick it.
I tell that to Cristiano Ronaldo. They have to.
I tell it to him. I mean, I would if he was.

Speaker 1 How many calories does a soccer player burn in the course of a game on average?

Speaker 1 More than fucking football. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
No, he cared for me. I don't tell you that right now.

Speaker 1 Catch a pracky in the fall, brother. Average person burns 500, 700 calories per hour in a recreational soccer game, 750, 950 calories per hour in a competitive one.
So it's how long is the game?

Speaker 1 90 minutes. 90 minutes.
Yeah, but it's always overage. So let's just say.
It's 93 minutes. No, it's more than that.
Is it? What's the other one? The average soccer game is like over 100 minutes.

Speaker 1 A game of catch. 175 is more than 100.
This is football. What's soccer?

Speaker 1 So soccer is, huh? No. Yeah, there we go.
Football. Who's jogging? Nothing like two podcasts coming together.

Speaker 1 A mutual football.

Speaker 1 This is outstanding. And then a ceiling excess.
You know what, guys? We're being too competitive.

Speaker 1 This is yours.

Speaker 1 I don't like it. I don't like it because you came in with the alpha.
I was, you know what I mean? You got nervous. I got nervous.
Bobby, I literally. I want to reset.
I want to reset.

Speaker 1 Bobby, Bobby, I literally walked in. I shook your hand.
You go, this is your words. You go, oh my God, what is that? In my eyes.

Speaker 1 And I shook your hand. And I literally said, been a big fan my whole life.
And that is true.

Speaker 1 When you two went on the bus, I was literally like, fuck. Yeah, where were you? I was hated having to tell him that y'all were coming on.
Another camp, I'm sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I had to be another camp or something. But, dude, fucking Comedy Central, Mad TV, was my shit growing up.
Okay, okay. And fucking you being out there doing your best, doing the thing.

Speaker 1 I fucking loved it.

Speaker 1 I thought you were actually so losing. Take off a button.

Speaker 1 I'll let you know you're in this guy.

Speaker 1 What's up, dude? Let's go. Fuck, man.
Hey, man. And then Andrews,

Speaker 1 go, no. No, no, no.
All right. All right.

Speaker 1 Get out of here. Take your clothes off.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah, guy.

Speaker 1 I love it, guy.

Speaker 1 Oh, God. That's good, Andy.
I love it. You never did that, Will, Ha, did you? I tried to right after you got done.
I was like, can I bring you something and take it however you want?

Speaker 1 When I picked you up,

Speaker 1 I expected you to weigh way more than you actually did.

Speaker 1 I was expecting.

Speaker 1 You wish that a compliment. Hold on,

Speaker 1 it didn't feel good, but I was expecting to lift and go

Speaker 1 in my back area. And I didn't have to do that at all.
Nope. Yeah, because the outer, I'm hollow.

Speaker 1 Right? But I just got a lot of skin. Got a lot of skin.
It's on all heels. You're like a fucking puppy bulldog.
Yeah, dude. He's like a squash that's been scooped out.

Speaker 1 Muscle weighs more than sack. He's so funny.
You see what I'm saying? Scooped out squash. So let's say this.
Can I say something real fast?

Speaker 1 I saw a clip that went online about someone chirping at you recently just got circled around again. And you were teasing someone.
It was all over Twitter. Josh Norman? Had to be aware of it.

Speaker 1 Was it the arrow? Was it Story Norman? Yeah, the Arrow. Yeah.
Why did it get circled around the internet again for some reason? I don't know.

Speaker 1 People were texting me and they're like, man, did you see this? I was like, it's like five years ago. Watch it.
Watch him. You're going to like this.
Even if you don't give a fuck about football.

Speaker 1 No, I'm going to love it. I feel like there should be a little backstory on this before we show Bobby.
So, Bobby, there's this cornerback. His name's Josh Norman.
It's right there. I see it.

Speaker 1 Third video down here.

Speaker 1 That's it. Let me go.
Josh Norman. One of Josh Norman's.
Please pause for a second. So that's Josh Norman.
One of his celebrations, he pulls out the hero and he shoots a figurative arrow into the sky.

Speaker 1 It's a badass. It is a badass.
Like Robin Hood or Legolas? Like one of the red sky.

Speaker 1 Which one? Robin Hood or Legolas? I don't know who Legolas is. I don't know.
Honestly, when you say that. Lord of the Rings.
I felt uncomfortable saying that I don't know if I was allowed to say that.

Speaker 1 I know. But was it like Robin Hood or Legolas?

Speaker 1 Oh, I think it was.

Speaker 1 Get ahead. It's Robin Hood.
It's Robin Hood. It's Robin Hood.
Okay. Will played with him.
So Robin Hood. Yeah, he literally statues in this.

Speaker 1 We were playing these guys like December 23rd, like right before Christmas. And we were in four minutes.
I'll explain. You have four minutes.
It's four minutes at the end of the game. We're up.

Speaker 1 We need to run out the clock to win the game. I know.

Speaker 1 It's so condescending. But there's a lot of people that are listening.
Hey, that's so bad.

Speaker 1 Cut the fact.

Speaker 1 So we run a play, and Josh grabs Derrick Henry, our running back, and Gator rolls him. And I didn't fucking like that.
So after the game, he's sulking on the sideline.

Speaker 1 Why, why, why, why, why, why don't you like Gator? Gator roll.

Speaker 1 Oh, so that's not condescending. I was going to explain that too, but it seemed like there was a lot of fun on that.

Speaker 1 I like the fact. An alligator ate this guy's mom when he was a child in front of him.
I don't. He doesn't like Gator rolls.
I really appreciate it. Ripped his mother to shreds.

Speaker 1 You don't know about this? It was in the fucking news. Oh, shit.
Dude, that's sympathy. She's been out for a while, man.
It really has. You know, my mom died from a seal roll.
Your mom's still alive.

Speaker 1 I know. She's eating a seal right now.

Speaker 1 Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Strong. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So anyway, so I go up to Josh after the game, and he's soaking on the sideline. I hate, Josh, and he looks over at me, and I fucking give him his own celebration to his face.

Speaker 1 I said, get the fuck out of my stadium.

Speaker 1 And this is essentially what happened. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
So he fronts on him. Look at this.

Speaker 1 Barely missing him. Throws his helmet at you.
Boop. And you don't even move.

Speaker 1 Take the the noise out, buddy. You know what's incredible about this? There's a couple bumps.
Shout out, Ben Jones, coming in there. Ben Jones, breaking up.
Wait, back it up real fast.

Speaker 1 The best part about this is

Speaker 1 he throws his body against you. Doesn't even move.

Speaker 1 Look at this. Look at how hard he pushes him.
It doesn't do shit. Where'd the helmet hit?

Speaker 1 It's like Gary Coleman attacking Hulk Hogan.

Speaker 1 Right? I mean, it's like, what a guy, huh? I'll tell you what, Gary Coleman. But Will played with this Josh guy, and he said, Josh is fucking awesome.
Yeah, I love Josh.

Speaker 1 Let me ask you, why did you antagonize him, though? That's what I am. I'm an A skitter.
I'm a Nat.

Speaker 1 I like the. If he was white, would you have done it? No.

Speaker 1 I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1 And you didn't like that one, huh? I got to tell you something.

Speaker 1 I won't stand on this show. I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 That's the crutch of this entire show.

Speaker 1 I said it. I got kind of uncomfortable to see Angie like that.
He's a country boy. Everything I've heard about Josh is a very broad individual.
Well,

Speaker 1 very sweet. Zest.

Speaker 1 Zest? No, I'm I'm just kidding. That ain't.
Well, not that I know, but. What is Zest, maybe? You know, Lil Zest.
Lil.

Speaker 1 No, I don't know the terminology. Loz est.

Speaker 1 Say it out loud, well. What's zest? What is zest? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like if you and I are at a club. A couple of boo-boos.
We're at a club, you and I. Okay, and we look at each other.
It's the 80s.

Speaker 1 Late 80s. A little bit of sweet.
Dun, dun, dun. Right? I'm at the bar.
These guys. I know, they don't get it.
They're millennials. What? Not 80s? They're teasing us.

Speaker 1 No, they're probably born in fucking the year 2000.

Speaker 1 He calls me. He's dumber.

Speaker 1 How old are you? I'm 40. He's using terminology.
Hey, Taylor. Congratulations on the way you've aged.
Not a lot of gingers can say that at 40, you look at the best.

Speaker 1 You're going to flirt with me right now, Live. I'm just saying, brother.
I'll fucking kiss that most ass right off your fucking face. Mid-30s at the most.
Oh, boy. I'm 92.

Speaker 1 That's out. Actually.
Bobby died twice.

Speaker 1 The Asian community does a fantastic job of aging. Everybody.

Speaker 1 Tell the soy. Everyone that comes up to us live at the show always goes,

Speaker 1 Man, you look good for your age. They all say that.
How old are you? Legitimately. He's 52.
You're 52 years old? Well, 50 shit. 51.
51. 51.
Yeah. And you know what?

Speaker 1 I fuck like a fucking sewing machine. No, right, dude.

Speaker 1 And I fuck everybody up here. You know, fuck fuck up.
You're going to try to fight everybody here? Sounds like he's going to fuck us all. Sounds like this has become a moment of

Speaker 1 tire of these guys. Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 What are you talking about, these guys covered around you? Not just these guys, but just in general, man. Just

Speaker 1 say that I got.

Speaker 1 You think you're the tough guy that owns this town? I think so, dude. I think I'm good.
I'm the captain of it. I'm the sheriff in town.
Which one? Captain or sheriff? I'm both, dude.

Speaker 1 I have two badges on my fucking outfit, dude. Wow.
You make the call. Yeah, you come around my town with that energy, dude.
I'll fucking get you. What's the word he just chill?

Speaker 1 You got to put it on your own, but what's your ass?

Speaker 1 I'll zest your asshole.

Speaker 1 Are we zested? Is he zest? My zest is what I'm asking, man. That sounds a little zesty.

Speaker 1 That sounds a little zesty. Yeah, dude.
My energy is a little weird today. I had a weird day.
Why? What happened?

Speaker 1 You know why. Fuck you, dude.
Well, I had something personal happen today that I can't talk about that was so devastating.

Speaker 1 I had such a devastating day today, so I cannot talk about it. But I'm going to say that I've had a bad day, and you guys came, and you guys are really making my spirits so good right now.

Speaker 1 And I'm so glad you guys are in my life right now. And I'm thank you so much for being here, dude.
And let me tell you something, Taylor. I've never seen you on YouTube or nothing before, bro.

Speaker 1 But let me say something. That hurt a little bit.
I know, but can I say this, though? Yeah. As soon as I met you, I get it.

Speaker 1 Dog. You have a future.
Wow.

Speaker 1 She's living it right now. Yeah, and it's amazing, dude.
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Morgan and Morgan. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 I'm in a car accident. What do I do?

Speaker 1 What do I do? I love Morgan and Morgan because I need help with it. I know it's Morgan and and Morgan.
It's easier to contest us than doing almost anything else.

Speaker 1 By the way, Morgan and Morgan, what do we got to say about these guys that we haven't said? They're America's largest injury law firm. That's right.

Speaker 1 They have over 100 offices nationwide and more than 800 lawyers, bro. That's so many people to show up.
So we've all been in accidents.

Speaker 1 I mean, unfortunately, Bobby and I have both been in car accidents. Thankfully, they weren't that bad.

Speaker 1 And what happens when you get in one, you don't know if they have insurance, you don't know who to turn to. You call me and go, bro, bro, bro, what do I do? And I said to you, call Morgan and Morgan.

Speaker 1 If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win.
Wait a minute, wait a minute. They don't take any money? No! Unless they win, they don't take any money.

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Speaker 1 F-O-R thepeople.com/slash bad friends or pound law pound five two nine from your cell. There's a paid advertisement for Morgan and Morgan.
Do you see Will's future? Oh, yeah, dude. Do you see it?

Speaker 1 Oh, I see. He's at the same house.
Is he? But he's wearing some weird butler uniform.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 He's wearing a butler uniform, right? And he's just always smiling. And also on his lips, you can see Pooh because he's kissing ass so much.
Oh, right. Wow.
And you're, though, the captain.

Speaker 1 You're the guy. He's.
I don't know. He's just kind of like...

Speaker 1 Hello, sir. Is it just these two men or do you see women inside the house? No women.
No women. Good.
No women. No women inside the home.
It's so weird. My vision.
No women.

Speaker 1 Okay, Okay, so late at night, can you see into late at night when there's just the two men in the house what's going on?

Speaker 1 There's a double king. He invented it.
A bed? A double king bed. Yeah, a triple king.
Triple king bed. I just saw a triple king bed, gigantic bad dude.
I get it. Right?

Speaker 1 Two guys, I feel. Is it just two guys are in there? Yeah, two guys are in the business.
They're just making the bed. What are they doing? Are they cleaning up in the room?

Speaker 1 Yeah, because something happened. What happened? Moisture.

Speaker 1 Moisture. There were things that went all over the sheets.
Condensation, maybe?

Speaker 1 There you go. Blood, come.

Speaker 1 Okay. Pause.
Okay. No? I don't know.
This is your vision.

Speaker 1 I see yellow, red, and white moisture.

Speaker 1 Yellow.

Speaker 1 Red.

Speaker 1 What's the yellow from? Wait a minute, time out. Yeah.
Yellow, red, and white. Is it me and you are at their house? Oh, no.
We're there.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. That's what I'm at.
Yeah. That's just us at his house.
We're like this. You watch it, Andrew? No.
I don't think this is my house. No.
I think this is your house.

Speaker 1 Calls are coming from inside the house. Dude, my house is hot.

Speaker 1 This is your house. It's a painting of you two.
You don't even live there. We're not even there.
That's you and I.

Speaker 1 Holy shit, dude. Wow.
I see your future. Oh, don't tell me.
Do you want me to tell you about your future? Wait, hold on. Yeah.
Why do you have to take your hat off?

Speaker 1 Because I want to make my hair nice. Oh, for your future.
For my future. Oh, please.
Give him his future. We're in

Speaker 1 Southeast Asia. I'm seeing Southeast Asia right now.
And they just go down and there seems like buildings and buildings and they go straight up in the air. Yeah.
Yeah. Wait.
Is it nighttime, daytime?

Speaker 1 No, it's dusk. It's dusk right now.

Speaker 1 And there's two gentlemen, three gentlemen,

Speaker 1 and they walk into a restaurant

Speaker 1 to catch some Asian food, and you're there.

Speaker 1 You are working for the restaurant.

Speaker 1 What's the restaurant called? Yeah, what's it called? What kind of food are you? I can't pronounce it. I can't pronounce it.

Speaker 1 I don't have that jurisdiction.

Speaker 1 Easy. I can't say that.

Speaker 1 I can't do that.

Speaker 1 Bungbonggai is still there.

Speaker 1 Great. Is it

Speaker 1 franchise? Hardy's own. No, it's not a buffet.
Is it a Chinese buffet? It's very affordable, though. No.
It's extremely affordable. It's French.
It's dollar sushi. It's not French.
Is that French? No.

Speaker 1 Yeah. There's little pieces of wood.
Sticks.

Speaker 1 Every single table. Is it bamboo? No.
Drumsticks. Oh, drumsticks.
Yeah, everybody plays the drums while they're eating.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, boom, boom. Bung boom guy.
Bumbung guy. Bumbo gai.

Speaker 1 What's my future? Can you see my future? I can't. That's for Will can.
But Will Will can see my future. Will, do you see my future? Will knows you better than I do.

Speaker 1 Close your eyes and see my future right now. Close him.
What do you see? There we go, Will. I see a bright sun.
Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 Your eyes are open then? Close your eyes. Yeah, close your eyes.
You're looking right at me.

Speaker 1 I see you

Speaker 1 outside.

Speaker 1 First of all, the sun and outside, two things that are really just level of my future.

Speaker 1 I see Bobby.

Speaker 1 He's yelling at you. Yeah, that sounds right.
Get in the shade. Get in the shade.
Get in the shade. Get in the shade.
Get in the shade. Get in the shade.

Speaker 1 there's a

Speaker 1 island

Speaker 1 no there's not an island there's not an island is it tropical what's the scene where are we yeah yeah

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 a cave no we're outside okay the sun just gene get in the shade yes

Speaker 1 because there's the sunlight and we're outside you exactly yeah yeah who's all there just him and bobby no i see you as well i'm running you're running a stand you're running a stand our friendship's gone a long way oh you're running a stand yeah

Speaker 1 i'm running or i have a stand

Speaker 1 it's a food stand yeah it says like uh Sun Bum.

Speaker 1 Sun bum. Sandwiches.
Sun tan lotion. Oh,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 Is that it? That's it.

Speaker 1 That's all I saw. Man, your improv work? Not good.
No, it's great. I got to tell you, your visions are.
I love them. Could I take improv class from you? Yeah, I'll fucking move.

Speaker 1 We'll start getting after it. I would love to do an improv with you right now, dude.
All right? We're on stage. Where are we at? Where are we at? Here we go.
Here we go, right? Okay. Hey, honey.

Speaker 1 What's the cat? What are we going to do? What am I going to do? Give me care.

Speaker 1 Your show's over, you guys. Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 Hold on. Everyone's already gone.
Here are the two rules.

Speaker 1 I feel like you don't know the rule. You never always agree.

Speaker 1 Do you know what that means? You lucky told me that. You said something

Speaker 1 class in high school. Never disagree.
Always agree. Okay.
And also, add information.

Speaker 1 Always add information. Do you understand what that means? Yeah,

Speaker 1 add information. Add value.
So here we go. Hey, honey, how was it work?

Speaker 1 Sweetheart, it was great. I I had a great day today.
Did you get it?

Speaker 1 The job?

Speaker 1 Yeah, the job, and also the thing that I told you to bring home.

Speaker 1 Sweetheart,

Speaker 1 I couldn't remember what you told me to bring home. See, that's disagreeing.
Yeah, that's disagreeing. Yeah, yeah, I gotta go.

Speaker 1 Erica, go to Taylor. No, you go to Taylor.
All right. Yeah, go try.
Yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 let me see this happen.

Speaker 1 I feel like that seemed really difficult. I feel like that seemed tough.
I didn't even think you were going to do it, right? Yeah, yeah. Hey, sweetie, welcome back home, Taylor.
How was your day?

Speaker 1 Well, how do I look? How do I look? Not the best day, obviously, but here I am. Well, you look fine.
What do you mean? What's wrong with you? It was a tough day at the office. You know, Bill.

Speaker 1 You know how he can be sometimes, and he was riding my fucking ass the entire day, to be honest with you.

Speaker 1 I love to get that TV dinner that you like to cook all the time and just sit down and watch the news. I'm tired of you being so abusive.
I've been fucking your brother. Excuse me?

Speaker 1 I've been fucking your brother. You want to know something? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't care. I've been fucking your sister.
So how's that? I'm fucking my dead sister. Your dead sister.
You dug up my sister and you're fucking her. Honey.
Pig. You know what I like in the bedroom?

Speaker 1 Why do you think I always like to... You like the fish.
You asked me to dead fish. You sit there and dead fish.
You asked me to dead fish.

Speaker 1 You think

Speaker 1 I'm not into that kind of stuff? That's me. My brother, I've seen his piece.
And you're.

Speaker 1 It's smaller. So, why, in God's name, would you want to be with this guy? Right, this is what I'm saying.
What is it? What? Because it's different? Because it's different? We look the same.

Speaker 1 Well, you do look the same, and he is a little bit smaller. But.
Don't say it. Don't say it.
He's smarter than you. Don't.
You know how I feel

Speaker 1 about my mental state. My cognitive statement.
We call you. Behind your back, we call you Stoopy Poopy.
Dude, you call me Stoopy Poopy? We say he's Stoopy Poopy. That's funny.

Speaker 1 He must have told you that. He was from high school.
Who's this man you brought? This guy right here? Who are you? Yeah. Have you ever heard of Green Sweetie? Who are you?

Speaker 1 No, you gotta do it. You gotta do

Speaker 1 Caribbean.

Speaker 1 Caramel!

Speaker 1 Oh my God. Will, you know the rules.
You know the rules. If you can't improv, you have to take your pants off.
That's the whole rule around here, buddy. It seems like I got to take them off.

Speaker 1 You want the pants to come off? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you got to be pants on.
Wait, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It'll be like I didn't hit it past the women's tee.
I'll just go down to the ankles.

Speaker 1 Hey, God bless. But, bro, hey, Taylor? Sir.
Great job. Bro, hey, instant space.
I got it in spades, man. Real good.
Wow. I don't know if that's actually.
How much did the bus cost?

Speaker 1 10 grand.

Speaker 1 $2,000. That was the money we put it.
Sorry, yeah. Wait a minute.
You bought a school bus for $2,000. $2,000.
And then we put eight into it, so technically it was also correct.

Speaker 1 Wait, you put eight grand in into outfitting it with everything. But two grand, where did you find a two thousand dollar bus? Just in a back gravel parking lot.
God, fucking Tennessee, huh? Tennessee.

Speaker 1 You gotta love it. You know, when I went to.
You guys should move there. No.
Why?

Speaker 1 He's liberal.

Speaker 1 No, I'll go down the list. I'll go down the liberal.

Speaker 1 He's liberal. That's so funny.

Speaker 1 You're wrong about that.

Speaker 1 You're wrong about that. What do you mean? Tell me why.
What?

Speaker 1 Am I not a liberal?

Speaker 1 I would see you're in the middle. I am definitely a centrist.
Yeah. I'm a centrist as well.
Yeah. We're definitely centrists.
We're centrists. You guys are smart using a word like that around here.

Speaker 1 That's pretty wild. What's a centrist?

Speaker 1 What's the core root of that word? Yeah. Send.
Hey, don't fucking talk to my guy like that. Hey, that was condescending as fuck, but I learned something.
But he learned something.

Speaker 1 And it's all about just saying. Having moderate political views or policies.
I feel like I'm a little bit of a centrist. I'm somebody who.

Speaker 1 Would you guys say you're a centrist? No. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Yeah, 100%.

Speaker 1 Right down the gut. Right, right, center.
Let's be real. Right, right, center

Speaker 1 political view. Just a basic one.
He'll tell you exactly how he feels.

Speaker 1 The Mexicans.

Speaker 1 Build it.

Speaker 1 And they will come.

Speaker 1 Build it and they will come. See, that was the miscommunication.
Yeah, there we go. They were like

Speaker 1 they will come, Billy. Bill the Greens.

Speaker 1 I'm all about the Hispanics, dude. Me too, dude.
They fucking grind. You ever see a homeless Mexican? Yeah.
No. I have actually here.
I'm 34%. Do you? Are you really? Jalisco, Mexico.
Yeah. Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Will, what what are you? What percent of white are you? 100%. God bless you.
100% white. Greatest country.
Dutch, European, German, all of it. European, German.
Mostly German.

Speaker 1 Mostly German.

Speaker 1 Wait, timeout. Why wouldn't we move to Nashville? I'll tell you.

Speaker 1 We don't have any family or anybody over there. We would know you guys.

Speaker 1 That's a good time. That's all you need.
Yeah, we would know just you guys. Theo barely lives there, so we wouldn't see him.
He's never fucking there. You guys don't see him.
Court McCollum.

Speaker 1 Court McCollum just moved there, and Bargatzi has a family. So who are we going to see besides you?

Speaker 1 We can't bug you guys every day. Hey, guys, let's hang.
Hey, guys, you'll get over it. I feel like if I move out there, it's pretty good.

Speaker 1 You guys would ghost me. Yeah, you'd ghost me.
I'd sell my house. I'd go out there.
I call you guys. Hey, I'm out here.
Nothing. Yeah, what do you got? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think we would have a great time hanging out together. I know, but look at this.
It's the eighth day in a row. We're calling you.

Speaker 1 Hey, I swear Taylor wants people people around him at all times. Okay.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's a hard way for me to get around that, but for the sake of this argument, I will 100% agree with that. You're going to say, yes, that's true.

Speaker 1 You wouldn't disagree with that? Yeah, but I feel like

Speaker 1 I didn't like the way you make me sound needy. I didn't like the way you said that.
Because I did sound needy.

Speaker 1 I don't mind being solo. I don't mind, but I do enjoy people at the house.
If you enjoy people at the house, people being around. Hey, where's Bobby at? You know where he's at.

Speaker 1 He's upstairs in the fucking area.

Speaker 1 Can we go live with him? How many bedrooms do you have at your house?

Speaker 1 You could for sure live with Taylor. A few.

Speaker 1 I got like four, I think. Dude,

Speaker 1 but how about this? No nicknames.

Speaker 1 No. I feel like you're going to give me a nickname.
You've got to have a nickname. Yeah.
Hey, come on, chopstick. Nah, no, no, no.
See, that's a little Taylor kill.

Speaker 1 Odd job. No, don't say odd job either.
Hey, GoldenEye. That's a good poll.
GoldenEye?

Speaker 1 Do you play GoldenEye on N64? It's a fun game. Dude, the best.
N64 is the best console.

Speaker 1 Give me a nickname. Ooh, big.
That's tough. What would you call me out there? Man.
Yeah?

Speaker 1 I feel like a nickname, it has to be kind of in the moment when something happens. Oh, I see.
That's true. You know what I mean? All right.

Speaker 1 It can happen anytime. P.F.
Chan, for example. Oh, okay.
Fancy.

Speaker 1 Fancy boy. Who says it? P.F.
Chang.

Speaker 1 How did you say it?

Speaker 1 How did you say it?

Speaker 1 PF Chang.

Speaker 1 He's from Spain. He's from Spain.
Yeah. You just call me P.F.
Chang? Yeah. That's a nickname? Yeah.
It doesn't even hurt. What's PF Chang? Why wouldn't it hurt?

Speaker 1 He's taking shots at you, buddy. No.

Speaker 1 Bobby. You know what? I'm not doing your movie.
Oh,

Speaker 1 it gets me a movie. I said I would do it.
I'm not doing it now. Well, that's that, buddy.

Speaker 1 That's what you get. Are you guys single? What's the situation? He's married.
Married, married. You both are married? Yeah.
Two kids on here, one kid over there.

Speaker 1 So if I went out there, because I'm a single guy, you know what I mean? Yeah. You set me up or what? No question, dude.
You want to see a wingman? I am the best fucking wingman. He's very good.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 1 I'm the best wingman you've ever seen in your life. Okay, good.
I am just loud. Okay, prove it.
Yeah, prove it. Here we are right now in a bar.

Speaker 1 I'm a hot chick. Okay.
Yeah, yeah. Obviously.
Yeah. Okay.
Play some music.

Speaker 1 Play some like a loud.

Speaker 1 Well, no, no, no. We have to.
I'm going to have him actually play music. Okay.
Play some music. All right.

Speaker 1 Before we're walking in. We're walking in.
Bobby. Point him out.
Who is your baby?

Speaker 1 Let's beautiful babies out here. What we're talking about.
Okay. Who? White.
White? White pussy. White pussy, you're bad.
I caught myself a little friend teacher in the corner, ma'am. Hey.

Speaker 1 How you doing? I'm pretty good. My buddy over here.
He might not look like Buddy, but he is an absolute game.

Speaker 1 Don't say that I don't look too like too much.

Speaker 1 Why? He doesn't look like too much. Buddy, the key to happiness is low expectations.
Let's keep this thing rolling, bro. He's condescending.
You're going to be alright, follow me to destiny.

Speaker 1 What's your name? Sheila. Sheila! You come here alive? We call it a lot.
This is my first time! Here's combo! I'll tell you what, nothing says combo like a hot Asian man.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you what, like I said, it doesn't look like much. Hey! Oh, you're in conception.
Don't say that I'm Asian!

Speaker 1 You can't hear us!

Speaker 1 Don't say that I'm Asian!

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're in the middle of the day,

Speaker 1 I'm kind of into black guys. Black guys, I tell you what, second passes.
You don't see a lot in combo. Well, for me, it goes black, Mexican, white, and then that's kind of it.
Oh, yeah?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's Mexican. He's 46%.

Speaker 1 I'm not Mexican. It's all right, brother.
We're going to get you home. We're going to get you home.

Speaker 1 So what do you say? One drink? Talk to him for a second. Suck your dick than his.

Speaker 1 That's very nice of you to say, but you'd be very disappointed. The tall statue is really going to throw you out when you see this piece.
Move on! What? Move on! All right, hey!

Speaker 1 Can I tell you? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 This is the problem that I see. Yeah, yeah.
Go ahead. That he's out there, you're working like a dog.
Like a dog. But the girls are still wanting to fuck you.
That's the problem. That's the problem.

Speaker 1 That's the problem. You can't have a wing.
A wingman that's good looking. That's a fucking cheer.

Speaker 1 I will. You can't have a six foot seven fucking Adonis wingman.
Yeah. No, it doesn't work, dude.
You gotta have an algo be a wingman. No, you can't.

Speaker 1 I will say, when you were trying to make that happen, I was like, man, he's... Why wouldn't she want him? I did.
I told him.

Speaker 1 I feel like

Speaker 1 we're less complimenting me and more insulting Bobby. No, what you did was...
No, that's not true. But what you did was you were so sweet and cute and fun, he couldn't even hear us.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if I'm in a club, Gal Godot, is that her name? That's who I was. Right.

Speaker 1 Who's Wonder Woman? Gal Godot? Yeah, Gal Godoto. If Gal Godot walks up to me and goes, hey, my friend Kathy Bates,

Speaker 1 I'm going to be like, oh, Gal Godot. And then Kathy Bates, I'm going to be like, nah.
It depends on how much you really appreciate acting. Oh, she's a better actor.
She's a much better actor.

Speaker 1 You're right. You're right.
You're right. You're right.
It depends on if you're a cinephile or not. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I got to tell you, Gal Godot, mega babe, fucking Kathy Bates. Come on.

Speaker 1 Legend. Award winner.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean,

Speaker 1 I couldn't do it. What if it's Gal Canada? Will.

Speaker 1 I feel like you're a better wingman. Whoa.
Shots fired. That's tough.
Yeah, what was that? And Will told you I'm a great wingman. It's not about

Speaker 1 who you're interested in. It's about just bringing her along, getting her at the table, and then you ignore her.
I get it. That's smart.
Thank you. And you walk away, right? You ghost.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I just hand him drinks over your shoulder.

Speaker 1 Who is a good wingman to you, Bobby? Stop for a second. What? What?

Speaker 1 Let me ask you something. Go ahead.
You think you're the same?

Speaker 1 Don't do that shit. Will is handsome.
Hang on, hang on. Are we talking about looks?

Speaker 1 Shit.

Speaker 1 You shouldn't have done that. This is bad.
In every department.

Speaker 1 Boy. What are you doing? Interesting.
What are you doing, Bob?

Speaker 1 Maybe you need to see a head shrink. Okay.
You think so? Yeah, because

Speaker 1 you're delusional. Take the gloves off, Will.

Speaker 1 What makes me delusional? I'm just saying you're a good-looking dude, right? And I gave you respect when I went to Nashville. Didn't I not?

Speaker 1 Did I not? Absolutely. Oh, you know, I absolutely did.
I absolutely did, man.

Speaker 1 Gave you respect, right? See what he's doing right now? He's like laying the blanket over you before he hits you with the bed in the pan.

Speaker 1 Just slowly putting the pillow on you. Yeah, but I'm going to say it right now, okay? No offense.
None taken.

Speaker 1 You can't say the none taken for him. That's his.
I will.

Speaker 1 I absolutely did do it.

Speaker 1 You can't say, I'm sorry, and it's okay. Absolutely.
You don't go, hey, I'm sorry, but it's okay. It's like a talent taking ice.
With all due respect. No offense, none taken.

Speaker 1 You heard it here first. Okay.
I'm the first guy to do it, right? You're not the same.

Speaker 1 What are we talking about? Are we talking about? He's a great-looking individual. He's the best.
He's a great-looking individual. He's the best in the market.

Speaker 1 But what I asked in the market.

Speaker 1 I mean, dude, this guy's not a bad guy. I'm not a cattle, brother.
Bro, hey, number one guy. I'm not cattle.
I've literally

Speaker 1 seen women take shots at him, flight attendants, while we were on the plane. Yeah, yeah.
I'm very aware of the league he's in.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, you're like, oh, it seems like Will could be my wingman, that you would think that I'm

Speaker 1 on the same place. It would just be easier with you.
Why? We're in the same place. Because it's like,

Speaker 1 and I don't.

Speaker 1 All right, can I say something? Go ahead, go ahead.

Speaker 1 This is free. This is free, bro.

Speaker 1 Taylor, sit there. Taylor, Taylor, just stay there.
Taylor, please. No, please.
Taylor, please, please. Please stay there.
Hey, the worst thing to do would be to walk out. Bro!

Speaker 1 You know, when I got my car. Where'd you get it from? Well, you know, a lot of people go, go,

Speaker 1 go to the lot. I'm not going to do that.
I want to go into the future. I want it simple, and I want it honest, and I want it the best kind.
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Finish your thoughts. Thank you so much.
No, I was actually just fixing my shorts. Oh, you were?

Speaker 1 Okay, and also, can I say this?

Speaker 1 Have at me. Afterwards.
Okay, but what I'm saying, though, is that. It's not necessarily what the action means.
Do you know the word angles? angles mean. It's the

Speaker 1 word. Do you know what the word angles means?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're angles.

Speaker 1 Geometry. In every angle,

Speaker 1 on a coin?

Speaker 1 Great. So you're saying if he's on a coin and he's on a coin,

Speaker 1 he's on the silver dollar and he's on the what? How many angles do you look hop up? He's like, I have so many angles. Dog,

Speaker 1 your accent fires me up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's why we hired you. You're good-looking guy.
Sorry, you're kidding. I'm kidding.
You're a ring-wing. It's not your right-wing man.

Speaker 1 It's not the result that you're saying. It's the way you're getting there.
It's that, hey,

Speaker 1 what I'm about to say. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what, dude?

Speaker 1 That's what makes it hurt. That's what makes it hurt a little bit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because kind of say this too, I don't give a fuck. I know, yeah, you're awesome.
Because you know what? Yeah. These guys have it all.
They do. Right? I want to get mine too, Player.

Speaker 1 Oh, so this is projected.

Speaker 1 I want to get mine too, Player. Oh, so you're out of the woods.
I'm ready to roll. Look at you.
Okay, so it's like, I love you guys, dude, but I'm going to get mine.

Speaker 1 This is like if they remade E.T. today

Speaker 1 they would cast you as et 100 yeah yeah yeah because you phone home let me see you phone home

Speaker 1 oh my god i'm sending you back you're right dude i am et but by the way who is it who is the best wingman you know say it go ahead you are yes i'm your greatest wingman I'm your greatest wingman.

Speaker 1 Carlos, fuck you.

Speaker 1 I've hooked you up a girl.

Speaker 1 No, it's fine.

Speaker 1 No, you haven't. You're a sabotager.
That's That's insane. Please don't tell me.
And also, look at these. These guys, dude, I'm going to say this.
If men were,

Speaker 1 if you can manufacture men in a factory, you're not even in the same department. This is like the grade A.
I know. You're super nice.

Speaker 1 No, you're in the same grade A.

Speaker 1 Well, what floor are they on? They're on the fourth floor. No, they're in a basement because it's like private.
Oh, that's the same thing. You need security codes to get to these guys.

Speaker 1 Where do they make Carlos? In a different country, somewhere deep in Mexico. Right, we outsourced him to China.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't give a fuck about this.
Right, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But it breaks down in a year. There's no there's no warranty or nothing.
No, no warranty at all on this guy? Yeah, no warranty at all.

Speaker 1 I don't, I don't want to return him before we fucking break the year. So anyway, we had him in the same dimension.
Okay, I guess. What about Fancy? What about Fancy? Where does he make? In space.

Speaker 1 I knew you were going to say that. In space.

Speaker 1 Remember Star Wars the Porgs?

Speaker 1 You remember the Porgs? I've never really seen Star Wars. All right, so there was a pork called.
He always showed this. Right, right.
He's a porg. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's fancy. That's fancy right there.

Speaker 1 Same body.

Speaker 1 Loving and fluffy. And the thing is more terrible.
I'm going to Google that for you.

Speaker 1 It sucks. Like, you were just typing your way into an insult.
It's fucking terrible. You know what, guys? I'm sorry.
I was being aggressive. You know, Will, let me say, let's start over.

Speaker 1 Hey, make Willie.

Speaker 1 I love you guys, dude. I love you guys.
And thanks for coming here. Awesome.
And I think this has been a magical time. I've had a great time.
I really have. I mean, some lows, but

Speaker 1 I think it's been mostly highs. I think it's mostly hops, though.
I think I'll get, yeah. Yeah, I think this is a good combination of four guys.
Why Why don't you?

Speaker 1 This is a nice little... Hey, and a matter of fact,

Speaker 1 them, you getting to show off your improv skills.

Speaker 1 It was fun to watch.

Speaker 1 Why don't we take some time here for you to really get to know the boys?

Speaker 1 That's awesome. Okay, without any attacks.
That's like the frame. Why don't you ask them something that you really want to know? Okay, that's right.
That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So we can feel like they're more at home in our home. They invited us into their bus.
Lovely. That's right, that's right.
Cheerful, sweet people. You know? I will.
Okay, so go on. Okay.

Speaker 1 Fire away, Bob. I will.
Okay, so

Speaker 1 us three, we're in the same platoon. We're in Vietnam.
Where the fuck am I? You're dead. Oh.
Yeah, yeah. That makes perfect sense.
And we don't even talk about you.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. You guys don't even.
No. Am I laying near you? You died in the first campaign.
You sent me out early. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, you were just like wandering around and you got shot in the head. Anyway, we don't know where your body is.
Thanks, man. Oh, you want to be included? Yeah, man.
What the fuck?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I I want to be fucking included. I thought it was about these guys.
I already know you. Yeah, go ahead.
I thought you were going to ask us a question, and it seems like we're going back and in.

Speaker 1 Just gotta.

Speaker 1 You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. My nightmare is coming back again.

Speaker 1 Now we're up here.

Speaker 1 We're always in playland over here.

Speaker 1 This is a fantastic time.

Speaker 1 Here's a question for you then, okay?

Speaker 1 So if,

Speaker 1 I want to talk about friendship, okay? If Will came to you and goes, Taylor, fuck, I was a a little drunk last night, I was on a dirt road, I hit somebody, right? I think they were illegal.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't believe with the body.
Well, that does change things.

Speaker 1 I know it does. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And, um, yo, I, dude, I was drunk.

Speaker 1 You're the only one I'm telling. If the cops come, can you back me up and lie for me? Well, I was with you.
Well, that's the easiest I would absolutely.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm just thinking, like, when is it going to get a little harder? When's it going to get difficult? Like, if the cops came to me, we were out all night. There would be no

Speaker 1 town and we actually tried to help him get a girl.

Speaker 1 And I struck out, but thank God for you. You helped him be the wingman.
Okay, another layer. Another layer.
Go ahead. Go ahead.
I would literally be like, hey, I fucking hit somebody and they're dead.

Speaker 1 And we'll.

Speaker 1 I would say, I would literally say, this is what I would say. I would say, well, how do we get out of it? The cops are coming.
Wow.

Speaker 1 I'm going to literally, you're going to have to lie to them for me.

Speaker 1 Okay, check this out. But

Speaker 1 there's another layer. It's in your freezer.
Yeah, it's

Speaker 1 in your freezer. I don't know why this customer will never make it to my freezer, dude.
Oh, it's a private freezer. Well, I mean...
He's got some freezers. Oh, he's got several freezers.

Speaker 1 I don't think... I got one freezer.

Speaker 1 I wish there was one. In this situation, dude.

Speaker 1 I got a whole factory of freezers.

Speaker 1 Listen up, boys.

Speaker 1 Here we go. God damn it.
I don't know who I believe at this point.

Speaker 1 Now, Will, we caught you going, you know, going over to Taylor's house first thing in the morning. There's security footage of it.
What were y'all doing over there?

Speaker 1 Hey, Sheriff Johnson, you need any help? No, I got this one, Wong. Let me take care of it for now.
Can you call me Private Young, Wong? Listen up, Private Wong. Back to the vehicle.

Speaker 1 All right, I'll tell you. Let me handle your boys.

Speaker 1 I'll see you later.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, wait, Wong, Wong,

Speaker 1 Wong, Wong. Hey, hey, hey, Sheriff.
Go get me something to eat. What would you like, man? I'm sir.

Speaker 1 Sir.

Speaker 1 Good boy. Sir.
Good boy. I'll give you a massage later, sir.
Good boy. I'll get you whatever you want.

Speaker 1 Thanks, Wong.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say this. I want to say this.
Imagine if the details were worse than that. If you called him and you go, brother, hit someone last night.

Speaker 1 Took it upon myself to dismember the body already. There's stuff all over the place.
I need you to help me hide all these body parts. Are you doing that? No question.
Parts. Everywhere.
It's a mess.

Speaker 1 Here's what I would do. Yeah.
I would meet Will wherever he was at at that moment. I would find all the body parts.
I'd figure out how to do it. He's at Kid Rock's bar.

Speaker 1 I would figure out how many body parts there were. Yeah.
And then I would strategically.

Speaker 1 He's parting after I discovered him. He's partying after.
I would strategically place a body part in the

Speaker 1 to where when you looked over on a map of Nashville, it would say, fuck you. Whoa.

Speaker 1 That's how shedding it. I would fucking not only save Will, but I would taunt the police as well.
How long have you guys been close like this? Not long. No.

Speaker 1 2018. I'm so envious

Speaker 1 of your relationship.

Speaker 1 Bobby.

Speaker 1 Can I say something? Go ahead, Bobby.

Speaker 1 I'm so envious of your relationship. This is good.
Because

Speaker 1 this piece of shit,

Speaker 1 I'd be prison.

Speaker 1 He would narrate at me.

Speaker 1 He would fuck my life up.

Speaker 1 Next on Magnum PI.

Speaker 1 Was that a good ad for Magnum PI? Yeah, but you just made fun of my acting. Yeah.
Can I tell you something? That's not Magnum PI acting? Yeah, it kind of is. That was HBO.

Speaker 1 And that felt like Magnum PI acting. Am I wrong? What'd you think? That was Magnum PI acting.
That's only fucking daytime TV. Yeah.
Yeah, I didn't buy that. You needed a tear to come out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you needed it. I was getting there, you fucker.
But it's not all the way there. That's daytime TV.
You didn't get it there. All right.
Anyway,

Speaker 1 you want to call from Max?

Speaker 1 Hey, would you guys not do that for each other? Yeah, he knows the fucking fact. There's no way.

Speaker 1 I mean, he would go, he would be like, this is what you need to do. Go to the police.

Speaker 1 Say you. I mean, let's be real.
Go to the police, right? Say, just be honest with them. I'll call Theo to replace you for a while.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then all of a sudden, I'm going through trust.

Speaker 1 He won't even show up to court.

Speaker 1 I'd show up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, for sentencing. For sentencing.
Well, yeah, and I go, you're on to give him the max. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, that's the kind of relationship we have. But we don't have that.

Speaker 1 And I'll be honest with you, I fucking love that. That is not true.

Speaker 1 We would never do that. Bury a body with you? Yeah.
Be real.

Speaker 1 Think about it.

Speaker 1 What happened today? No, when are we having?

Speaker 1 Okay. That's what I thought.
Okay. You guys want to talk about it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, can you?

Speaker 1 You know.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. Bobby, this is a safe space, baby.

Speaker 1 Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 1 You own all of this creative. You have the creative freedom to cut whatever you want.
And we do. Your Spaniard will do whatever you say.
I've told you I would do anything for you.

Speaker 1 See, senor. You can keep a secret.

Speaker 1 I've told you.

Speaker 1 I've been so so close. I've got.

Speaker 1 You want to talk about it? Bobby and I have known each other for f 15 some odd years, 16 years. I've brought him to we've gotten him through rehab three times.

Speaker 1 I've been there through all the pain, haven't I? Pain. A lot of the strife.
A lot of things I hold dear that he says, please don't tell anybody. Not a soul.

Speaker 1 Protected him, helped him, loved him, nourished him, cherished him.

Speaker 1 So don't do this, that I wouldn't do that for you. Don't do that.
That's not true. It's a body.

Speaker 1 It's different. Well, how much? Okay, first of all is it a guy or a girl how old is it

Speaker 1 how heavy is it oh the body well yeah oh it's like a 400 pound like 600 pound life guy he was one of he was an actor on that show on my 600 pound life yeah yeah yeah and he never got the operation dr no said we can't do it buddy there's no way we can do it yeah so he's just

Speaker 1 you know i just stepped on him

Speaker 1 bobby would you do it for andrew

Speaker 1 No, no, no.

Speaker 1 That's strong of you to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because it's no hypothetical situation.

Speaker 1 The rules are different in Tennessee.

Speaker 1 Actually, I'll give it to Andrew. Please.
Because I feel like you would

Speaker 1 answer this question very easily. Guy breaks into this place right now.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Runs in, knocks out our boys in the back, puts a gun to Bobby's head. He says, if you don't fucking suck this guy off right now,

Speaker 1 I'm gonna suck you. I'm sucking who? No, he's sucking you.
If you don't suck this guy off. He can't throw that stuff around.
He loves sucking.

Speaker 1 That's why Sound's gonna ask you and not him.

Speaker 1 He's quick to suck. I'm quick to suck him.
That's how they say why.

Speaker 1 You don't even need a gun. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's do this.

Speaker 1 You do a finger gun to this guy. He's sucking you dry.
So go ahead.

Speaker 1 There's a gun to your head. Yeah.
So you don't have to suck.

Speaker 1 They say you got, like, me and Will are out. We're just sitting here like, oh, my God.
And he's like, who's this guy's friend? You're like, I'm his friend. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He says, you got to suck his dick or he's going to blow his brains out. I have to suck him or the guy's going to kill him? Yeah.
Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Well, if you guys are here, legitimately. If you guys were here, are we still doing that? He wouldn't do it.

Speaker 1 Well, how about it? If you weren't here, he would do it.

Speaker 1 If you guys weren't here, I would do it, but also I'd want to put it on Patreon.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's right. I'd want to get some hits.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd want to get some hits for him.

Speaker 1 But what I would really do is I'd go down, right? I'd go down like I was going to do it, and I'd sing our little song, our little code fight song because he knows our little song.

Speaker 1 Can you give me a taste of it?

Speaker 1 And then we then immediately beat the shit out of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Turn the gun on him, and you know what we say? Now you got to suck both of us.

Speaker 1 And that's also going to be on Patreon. Right.

Speaker 1 A double, a triple suck. Now, reverse.
Go ahead. Guy comes in, puts a gun to his neck.
You got to suck and I have to suck Andrew up. What I would do, you know what I would do? I would suck Will first.

Speaker 1 Just let him know what's coming. That's how

Speaker 1 he would suck Wilt, then he would suck the gunman.

Speaker 1 The gunman would kill himself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's like, yeah. He'd flip it on himself.
I'm like, hey, man. I don't know what we're saying.

Speaker 1 I'm a man, dude. Do what you want.
I'm good, dude. Can I ask a question? Go ahead.
Oh, my God, Taylor.

Speaker 1 Who,

Speaker 1 honestly, do you guys think is a better actor between the two of you?

Speaker 1 That's not a.

Speaker 1 It's not a fucking. It's not close.
No, I'm just saying it's not. We're totally different.

Speaker 1 That's not how you feel, though. No, what do you mean? We're totally different.
You, you offer things that I don't, I couldn't do, and I offer things that you couldn't do. Like what?

Speaker 1 But that's not how you feel, though. What does he offer that you don't have? He's good.
What does ethnicity? He's good at.

Speaker 1 So, okay, what I'm good at is if somebody gives me a script, I'm good at like seeing it, ingesting it,

Speaker 1 learning the lines. Learning the lines, becoming the character.

Speaker 1 I'm not doing your movie.

Speaker 1 And Bobby's good at

Speaker 1 being there and

Speaker 1 doing

Speaker 1 right now

Speaker 1 right now dude It's blasphemy. It's uncalled for Bobby's a great actor categorically He knows I'm kidding

Speaker 1 no no no he's a great he's a wonderful he is actually a very good actor. I don't think

Speaker 1 I think we're just two completely different guys. Also, just can I say this? I know what you're trying to do, Taylor, if I can tell you that.
It's pretty smart, right? You may, but

Speaker 1 look at my MDB. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What did I tell you? Hey, what I tell you. He constantly worked, dude.
He did his constantly work. So I don't know what you're trying to do.
Yeah. Wrench in the fucking engine drone.

Speaker 1 No, I'm saying that I continue to work. Do you think? All right, so.

Speaker 1 Here's what's happening. I hate that.
You're projecting again. Yeah, yeah.
You're projecting again because I'm trying to look. Yeah, yeah.
I don't like that photo. Take that photo off.

Speaker 1 That's a good photo of you. Yeah, yeah.
My favorite thing. Very early 2000s.
Yeah, exactly. I don't like it.
The faux? What are those three words at the top above the photo? What?

Speaker 1 Actor, writer, director. What writer, director? What have you written or directed? I've written my life and directed my life

Speaker 1 to this moment.

Speaker 1 Yeah? Yeah. What's the box office return?

Speaker 1 Nothing. On any of this reviews.
Nothing so far. He's been killing it.
Let's pivot on that. Categorically.
Okay.

Speaker 1 That's enough. Bobby, in the Asian community, where would you rank yourself? Are you top five?

Speaker 1 What are we doing? What are you trying to do? In the white community, where do you? 3,695?

Speaker 1 It's a much stronger category. Is it that high? 3,000? What do you say? 3,695.
My point is that I'm who I am.

Speaker 1 All right. Listen, Taylor, listen.
I love you, Will. And I get, I understand.

Speaker 1 No, I'll just say, Will, dude,

Speaker 1 let me say something. When it boils down to survival, dude, you and I have it.
And we will beat these guys out, and we will be the winners. Remember that.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. And we're going to look at each other and we're going to go, we got him.
Okay. We're on a team now.

Speaker 1 Is that what you're saying? Dude. Let's do a competition.
The crazy thing.

Speaker 1 Let's break off. You and I do a podcast.
Him and I do

Speaker 1 do a podcast.

Speaker 1 Oh, you don't like it? No, no, no.

Speaker 1 That wasn't a look of.

Speaker 1 No. You got to move to to Nashville, buddy.
Okay. So you'll do it? Yeah.
All right. Honestly, I think you can mix and match any of the shit.
I think we can do any of that shit. Don't you think?

Speaker 1 Now, how are your employees that work with you guys? Those guys are all steel vaults. They wouldn't fucking say anything to anybody about anything, would they? Who do you think would snitch?

Speaker 1 Who's the fucking guy? Which one do you got crew? Yeah, which one are the guys out there? Bring them out. Bring them out.

Speaker 1 Bring him out. Bring him out.
Let's compare.

Speaker 1 Honestly. Like what we have and what they have.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 let's see if they can get. So they can get on camera.
Okay. Throw it that way in front of the producers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's see who we think would snitch.
All right, I'll tell you.

Speaker 1 Jesus, dude, what the bring 14 guys. How do you get these guys? What do you mean?

Speaker 1 Hell yeah, boys. Stay strong.
Okay, you ready? We run a great scouting department. Yeah.
I've got this figured out. Okay, who's the biggest snitch? Okay, far left, that's your lawyer, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That is your accountant and/or manager or agent. How much we would buy them for? Like, it was like they were slaves.

Speaker 1 That's the second time today. Yeah.
Okay, so here we go. I love the extreme.
How much are budget? How much budget we have? They're slaves. We got to buy 10 grand.
10 grand.

Speaker 1 Just make it $10. Yeah.

Speaker 1 $10.

Speaker 1 Hang on, hang on. What work do you need done? Are we talking manual labor? We have a different job.
A lot of stuff to do around the world. Are we talking manual labor?

Speaker 1 For laughs, how about this guy? 45 cents.

Speaker 1 Trust me,

Speaker 1 it's tough taking. You got to sit there, Stephen, and take another.
Dude, I'm sorry. That was so mean.
Give me a hug, man. Very mean.

Speaker 1 Welcome to McDonald's. Oh, I'm so sorry.
I was so mean, dude. You're $3.
You know that, right?

Speaker 1 All right, buddy. You say you're $3.

Speaker 1 Check this out, dude. What?

Speaker 1 Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Two bucks a guy. You've got two bucks a guy? Well, it's five guys.
You know what I mean? That's how I treat everybody. But behind their back,

Speaker 1 I treat him worse. But right away, you know, the one thing I have, this guy's got a lot of stuff in his pockets.
I don't know if he's trustworthy or he's busy.

Speaker 1 I was going to spend four bucks on him. That was a $4 guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I got to tell you, this guy right here with his arms crossed, that guy and that guy right there, those two are to me worth the most. Why?

Speaker 1 Because this guy can kill people.

Speaker 1 That guy can murder humans. And this guy knows what to do with it.
Do you understand? This guy can make bombs, huh? He's made bombs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's made bombs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can make bombs, dude, huh? He's got the brains, and he's got the buff. But you know what? I'll make money with this guy.
This guy? Yeah. $8 a pay to spend.

Speaker 1 I got to be honest with you about this guy. What do you do on the show? Steven, he just did the same thing to Will that he just did to you.
I want you to know.

Speaker 1 What did I do? You just said 45 cents. You You felt bad.
So once you went back, you went to eight. That's right.
That's called

Speaker 1 essentially,

Speaker 1 you're an abusive person. Yeah.
You're an abusive human being. Emotions did the same thing to one.
Emotionally abusive. You're right.
You're right. Would be a good thing.
Thank you, boys.

Speaker 1 I appreciate all you guys. The bustin' boys.
Good job, fellas. And they do have a real good crew.

Speaker 1 You know who would be a phenomenal crew? Oh, you think you guys?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm trying.

Speaker 1 It's like two truths and a lie type of thing. Two and a half.
So you, I'll say it. Two truths and a lie.
I think you guys have to be able to do that.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say something to see if I'm lying or not.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna say something to see if I'm lying or not. Let's see.
Well, you have to tell two truths and one lie. That's how it goes.
I can't even think of a lie or truth or anything.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I got it. It's all right.

Speaker 1 I was molested by a guy with Down syndrome. I've seen this bit.

Speaker 1 But you don't know if it's a truth or not.

Speaker 1 I've seen the bit.

Speaker 1 Shaub and Callan? Yeah, but forget it. Let's move on.
I'll just do it. It's got your fucking library.

Speaker 1 I'm a fan, bro. Okay, that was very funny, too.
All right. I was in the Minnesota Boys Choir.

Speaker 1 I played ice hockey.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I'm a purple belt in Taekwondo.

Speaker 1 There's two truths and a lie. That's pretty good.
Do you know the answer? I do. I know which one is the lie.
Willie, go first, buddy.

Speaker 1 The first one was you were in a Minnesota choir? He wasn't listening. Yeah, you weren't even listening.

Speaker 1 Minnesota Boys Choir. Yeah.
Yeah, Minnesota Choir. You're saying that's a lie.
No, he's asking the three. No, I'll ask you.

Speaker 1 Give him the three again. Minnesota Boys Choir.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Ice hockey. I played ice hockey.

Speaker 1 Plays ice hockey. Played ice hockey.
Yeah, and then Alice. Purple Belt and Taekwondo.
Purple Belt and Taekwondo.

Speaker 1 Who are the boys? I'm going to say

Speaker 1 who the boys. And could I say this too? If you get it right, dude,

Speaker 1 I'm gonna give you a leg massage.

Speaker 1 Which leg? Both.

Speaker 1 Whoa, that's dude. He never does both.
He's so nice. That's fucking cool.
I'm gonna go with Minnesota Boys Choir. Okay.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. So here's where I think it might

Speaker 1 like Minnesota Boys Choir. I just don't see him being in Minnesota.
They're in the same game. I don't see you being in the middle of the day.
But then he said purple.

Speaker 1 He said purple belt, which I'm like, man, he's just going off what? Like Minnesota? And it's almost hockey. It's almost racist of us to even believe the purple.
The taekwondo.

Speaker 1 Oh, who are we to put him in a box to say, oh, that's the truth. Wow, you're good.
A to-go box? But putting Minnesota choir and then hockey in together, the sport in Minnesota is hockey. Right.

Speaker 1 But I don't think you're from Minnesota.

Speaker 1 That's what I was going on. You don't have it from Minnesota.

Speaker 1 These are all very

Speaker 1 fighting words, huh? Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Can you stand up and can you show me a hockey shot? Oh, fuck yeah. You got to show them what you do, baby.

Speaker 1 He played hockey.

Speaker 1 He played hockey. Because can I be honest with you? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And what I'm about to say might hurt, but it's okay. Yeah.
You don't strike me as a very hand-eye coordinated individual. Oh, boy.
This guy is a game.

Speaker 1 I'll let that slide, but it burns. It burns bad.

Speaker 1 And it hurts bad. And I know this is weird because we kind of just met, but that was a legitimate shot.
So the hockey's the truth. You know, he's a video.

Speaker 1 Which makes me believe that the choir is now true because Minnesota and and hockey play together. I'm going to go Purple Belt and Taekwondo.
My fucking cut, dude. You got it.
No way. Wow.

Speaker 1 I swear to God. Really? Yeah, because I lived in Adina, Minnesota.
He's my dad's from Adina. Okay.
So,

Speaker 1 when I was a kid, right, my favorite hockey player was Dino Cicarelli in the 70s, right? And I played hockey and I had a good voice, so I was in the Minnesota Boys Choir. I just never took Taekwondo.

Speaker 1 Sing us something.

Speaker 1 Loves Hitler's songs.

Speaker 1 That's his favorite shit to say.

Speaker 1 Every

Speaker 1 morning you greet

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 It's been a while.

Speaker 1 It's been a while. You've been a while.
It's been a while. So, Bobby, you came for money.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 My parents had money, but they went bankrupt in high school. 08?

Speaker 1 No, you're 50-something. Yeah, yeah, but you're 52? Yeah.
You said you went bankrupt in high school, so how would 08 be that answer? Wow, you're smart. 1908.
1908.

Speaker 1 No, so

Speaker 1 you do play the same game.

Speaker 1 Do you like this game? I love it. Two truths and a lie.

Speaker 1 I feel like that could easily get sponsored. Your EP should have been on top of that.
You actually have a sponsor. That's a four seconds.
That's more bad. I'm going to get me started about these guys.

Speaker 1 Pretty good game. Okay, Two Truth and a Lie.
So you're going to do it? Sure.

Speaker 1 Can I play or no?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. But don't say the answer because you're probably going to know the answer.
I probably won't.

Speaker 1 I don't know anything about him. He doesn't know who I am.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I really don't know much.

Speaker 1 It's fun.

Speaker 1 I used to

Speaker 1 coach Will Farrell's kid.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 lived for a short period of time in the John Hancock building.

Speaker 1 I've uh

Speaker 1 I've took a I've taken a shit near the Eiffel Tower

Speaker 1 outside

Speaker 1 Andrew. Yeah, that last one bugged me because I thought you're taking way too long with this.
Last one's obviously a lie, but then a shit near the Eiffel Tower.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It bugged you because it tricked you a little bit? No, because it's like, what is near with the way this.

Speaker 1 I said I took a shit near the Eiffel Tower outside. Okay, can I go? No, but you get the framing.
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know much. Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say the Will Farrell is a lie. His kid.

Speaker 1 You alright? Yeah, brother. Will, go ahead.

Speaker 1 You're going to say the Will Farrell one is a lie? Yeah. Do you know the answer? I don't.

Speaker 1 See, you guys are thinking more than you guys. Will's game.
You gave me a question.

Speaker 1 What's yours? You go ahead.

Speaker 1 You said the John Hancock building? That's right. Where's that located? Chicago, Illinois.
Chicago, Illinois. How much, where did you start doing comedy? You can't ask questions like that, man.

Speaker 1 That's insane.

Speaker 1 Because I didn't do it. That's why you should have never got up and did the hockey shot.
Oh, well, I feel like that's a fun part of the game. Oh, you're right.

Speaker 1 I fucked up. I fucked up.
But

Speaker 1 they'd be giving you too much information. That's okay.
Go ahead. You can ask.

Speaker 1 In this game, you can only ask two questions. Two questions per second.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so John Hancock building is in Chicago, Illinois.

Speaker 1 Where did you start doing comedy? No, don't. I started doing comedy in Los Angeles, California.
Yep. And we didn't have to waste that question because he's a Chicago Bear fan.
So that

Speaker 1 could play. Oh, yeah.
So that's his truth. That could be.
That's his truth.

Speaker 1 Fucking. But I can ask for each.
I can ask for each, right? So now I can go. No, you're out, though.
You can't get any more questions.

Speaker 1 You just said two for each.

Speaker 1 For each, for each, for each. Yeah, so now I can go to pooping.

Speaker 1 Go to pooping. Yeah.
No, no. You get two questions in total.
That's insane. All right.

Speaker 1 What was the first one again?

Speaker 1 What was that one? He taught

Speaker 1 Will Farrell's kid. I coached Will Farrell's kids.

Speaker 1 What did you coach him in?

Speaker 1 Wait, you can.

Speaker 1 He just can't use it. Will can do it.
Tuber can do it. You can use it too.
Yeah, you already use it too.

Speaker 1 I'm only going to ask you guys. This is your segment.
I don't know if you guys have

Speaker 1 schools. What'd you coach him in? Soccer.

Speaker 1 Are you looking at my legs? I'm going to say, I'm going to say,

Speaker 1 what is that? What is that? What the fuck is that?

Speaker 1 Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Go, go, go. What is it, kids? You want to go? You want me to go? You guessed.
You want to go. I'm going to go with coaching Will Farrell's kid.

Speaker 1 This is good. I'm good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it? I never lived in the John Hancock.
God, God.

Speaker 1 Hey, that is really good. Yeah, never.

Speaker 1 No, you're really cool.

Speaker 1 Caught Will Farrell's kids in soccer? Yeah, I coached him

Speaker 1 when his kid... One of my first jobs when I moved to Los Angeles was coaching little kids.
By the way, he was like fucking six.

Speaker 1 It It was little kids soccer at the park behind the Fox lot. And Will Farrell, Ryan Philippe, and Reese Witherspoon's kids were there.
It was like celebrity kids.

Speaker 1 I got it through a friend of a friend at the movie studio I used to work at. Wow.
And they were like, they need someone to coach soccer. I was like, I've never fucking played soccer in my life.

Speaker 1 And they were like, they're six. I was like, perfect.

Speaker 1 So I coached a bunch of little famous kids.

Speaker 1 Isn't that fucking, is that? Let's do more of that.

Speaker 1 You guys got to do it. Why you guys got to do it now? By the way, the John Hancock was a good seller.
That was a good pull because the Bears thing, and that was a nice pull from that, too.

Speaker 1 That was fantastic.

Speaker 1 You want to do yours first? I want Will to do two truths and a lie. Fast.

Speaker 1 Fuck. Let's go.
I need to think about something real quick. Think about the lie.

Speaker 1 I wet the bed until I was

Speaker 1 14.

Speaker 1 I won a Yu-Gi-Oh! tournament in high school.

Speaker 1 I lost my virginity on the 4th of July.

Speaker 1 I didn't like Dervish.

Speaker 1 I won a Yu-Gi-Oh! tournament in high school. That's fucking what do you mean? I wet the bed till I was 14.

Speaker 1 I lost my virginity on the 4th of July. Just mad as fuck? Like, what do you want me to fucking do?

Speaker 1 I'm saying. Let me tell you something.
Because I think with the lie. Go ahead.

Speaker 1 I get two questions. You got to let them just do their thing.
Because he's not allowed to play. He knows.
I guess

Speaker 1 he might because I low-key. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 He knows too much. So we only get two questions per person.
Yeah, yeah. So I'll get one and you'll get two, you get two.
So my first one would be.

Speaker 1 Where was the Yu-Gi-Oh tournament? Where did it take place? Missouri.

Speaker 1 No, I mean like where?

Speaker 1 My area. I'm saying like in a what? In a warehouse at a school? Where was it? Flea market.
At a flea market.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 1 At a flea market. Okay, okay, hold on.
Let me get one more question. Insane.

Speaker 1 Didn't you just ask a couple? That's one. I asked you one, but I said where.
I didn't mean the state. I meant like where did the tournament take place? And like, what room? Facility.

Speaker 1 And what facility is what I'm saying? And just give me a brief example of how Yu-Gi-Oh! tournament. No, wait, wait, wait.
Just a brief example. Yeah.
No, no, no. Hold on.
What are the rules?

Speaker 1 Let me get one more question. Let me get one more question.

Speaker 1 Let me get one more question.

Speaker 1 You son of a bitch. You're a fucking son of of a bitch, aren't you? Yeah, he's a son of a bitch.
Is he a son of a bitch? One of the purest kind. This is one of the purest son of a bitch.

Speaker 1 This fucking German son of a bitch. Yeah.
Nazi fucking son of a bitch.

Speaker 1 I would say the other question I would want to know is

Speaker 1 what was the first thing you said?

Speaker 1 It was the Yu-Gi-Oh tournament. No, you pissed yourself until 14.
So he doesn't remember that one.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 you lost my virginity on the 4th of July. 4th of July.
Yeah, we heard that.

Speaker 1 I believe the 4th of July virginity. It's corny, but I believe it.
Yeah, I believe it. He's the type of white dude that would do that.
He would. And

Speaker 1 I'll be coming when the fireworks are blasting off.

Speaker 1 It's America, our freedom. Right, he's American.
Yeah, yeah. So the pissing the bed thing is the thing we think might be going to lie.

Speaker 1 Let me just think about it. You know, because it's like, I can see this guy's pissing his bed until he's 14.

Speaker 1 That's the thing. I guess I could.

Speaker 1 it's just an opi for me the Yu-Gi-Oh thing seems like but you know what dude it's a shot at you it seems like a shot at you it is but it's also a specific thing and it's like

Speaker 1 were you a Yu-Gi-Oh guy no it was not Yu-Gi-Oh! guy oh why'd you say oh

Speaker 1 there you go there are the pieces

Speaker 1 yeah there's the there's that puzzle coming

Speaker 1 I'll make my guess oh my god do you have one go ahead you can ask another question if you want I think no I'm good because these other ones are um

Speaker 1 you didn't piss your pants into your 14.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. Go ahead.
Because you wouldn't be a real man if you did that. Go ahead.
You didn't lose your fucking virginity on the 4th of July.

Speaker 1 Yu-Gi-Oh! was the lie. God! Yeah, damn it!

Speaker 1 Let's flee more again.

Speaker 1 God, goddammit. And you only knew that because I flexed on the Pokemon badge recently.

Speaker 1 But I feel like you've talked about Pokemon. All I did was switch Pokemon and...
Yeah, Yu-Gi-Oh!

Speaker 1 What's it for? That's why I didn't like it. It's a fucking difference.
Yeah, but it worked. Yeah, but it also

Speaker 1 questions.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay. It's like he did something so similar, I was like, oh,

Speaker 1 right. That's why he was pissed because you won a Pokemon tournament.
Pokemon tournament at a flea market. You cocksucker.
So it's partially true.

Speaker 1 He won a card game. Disqualified.

Speaker 1 Go ahead, Taylor. Disqualified.

Speaker 1 You sneaky son of a bitch. You did? You lost your virginity on the journey? I think you're pissed I lost my virginity on the 4th of July.
No, not a chance. Where was it?

Speaker 1 My room.

Speaker 1 It wasn't that.

Speaker 1 You invited a girl to your room when you were how old? 14, 14. Right after you stopped pissing the bed.
No, when he stopped pissing the bed, that's the thing. Yeah, let me ask you something.

Speaker 1 Your parents didn't say anything to get you psychology or something. Your dad didn't hit you or nothing? It was the only.
Are you talking about pissing the bed? Yeah.

Speaker 1 The only thing was like we'd go to the doctor and the doctor would just say, I couldn't drink Kool-Aid after seven o'clock. He's right, though.
Oh, I think. Yeah, I don't.
He can't do it either.

Speaker 1 All right, Taylor, give me two truths and a lie. Let's go.
I'm having a hard time. I'm having a hard time.
I know. You saw me.

Speaker 1 And the scariest thing is pissing your pants over at your boy's house, like when you're having a little slumber party. You still peel your pants now?

Speaker 1 You still peel a little bit?

Speaker 1 I have before.

Speaker 1 I have before.

Speaker 1 My latest time was college. You pissed the bed in? Pissed the bed.
But drunk, that's why. No.
Oh. Wow.

Speaker 1 Shame? Is there shame there? No, I'm.

Speaker 1 I'm talking about it right now. When you piss

Speaker 1 in college, when you do it, are you cognizant of it while you're sleeping? Like, you know what

Speaker 1 pissing?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I would, like, wake up at the tail end of it. Oh, you'd be dead.
I'm fucking pissed that.

Speaker 1 I'm ready.

Speaker 1 Okay, he's ready. I'm ready.
Here we go.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 once won a Nintendo 64 Super Smash Bros. tournament when I was 12 years old.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I. Kind of piggybacking.
Go ahead.

Speaker 1 I did

Speaker 1 over 20 hours in flight lessons. I've landed a plane.
20 hours is not that much. I get it.
Go ahead.

Speaker 1 And everyone's flown a Cessna. You know what I mean? Go ahead.

Speaker 1 And I

Speaker 1 proposed to my wife in five weeks of knowing her.

Speaker 1 Okay. Off the bat, the five weeks thing is true.
100%. There's no doubt in my mind.
He looks like he loves hard and he loves fast.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 20 hours of flight.

Speaker 1 Anybody can do 20 hours. I think you and I have done seven.

Speaker 1 I've done many. Yeah, I was going to say.
I don't even know what it is.

Speaker 1 The problem is, the tournament thing sounds too close to home.

Speaker 1 Like, he's going to get us again and be like, I fooled you too.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but to me, the number one first thing, the tournament thing, Super Mario Smash Bros. Seems like a lie, but still,

Speaker 1 I did that with a lot of people. It wasn't Super Mario Bros.
It was Super Smash Bros. Super Smash Bros.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 We asked two questions. You were 12 years old? 12 years old, yes.
What was the prize? The prize was a $250 gift certificate to David Busters. This is a lie.
That could be true, though.

Speaker 1 No, I can smell it. DNB didn't have $250.
They only had $200 gift cards, I remember. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. What do you mean? What's your other question, Prince?

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 in five weeks, when

Speaker 1 you propose to your wife,

Speaker 1 what's so funny?

Speaker 1 What? I just love you, man. Why? Because I don't know what I'm doing.
Yeah. Yeah, I know.
I don't know what you're doing. You're saying the question just so you kind of can sort of find it.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to find it. He's in the dark with the dark.
I'm in the dark. I'm in the dark.

Speaker 1 So the five weeks.

Speaker 1 Did anyone tell you that it was too soon?

Speaker 1 We didn't tell anybody.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he did it out of the blue.

Speaker 1 And did she expect it?

Speaker 1 Did she expect it?

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, and no. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, I'm going to pick. Go ahead.

Speaker 1 He doesn't have 20 hours of flight lessons. A flight time.
Go ahead. I say the plane things, bananas.
I still don't believe the five weeks. Okay, so no on the five weeks.

Speaker 1 What is it?

Speaker 1 Man, I thought you guys were smart. I literally piggybacked off him.

Speaker 1 Damn. Yeah, five weeks.

Speaker 1 Five weeks and you had it for a minute. Dog, he really did.
I thought to myself, you're such a fucking idiot not like navigating through essentially the same money.

Speaker 1 I knew it was a live day for me. It made me like

Speaker 1 12 years old. I had to fucking move in the old noggin for a second.
I was like, God damn, what was the price?

Speaker 1 That would have been iconic if you're like, you just stick with it, they didn't have 250 alley, they just had 200. It's that word.
There's no chance. I did think that would have been nuts.

Speaker 1 I knew it happened. These guys are fucking with us.
God.

Speaker 1 All right, well, here's the deal. The busting with the boys, boys are here.
It makes my heart glow to know that you guys are here in our studio after we came on your bus and we came on your bus

Speaker 1 and we appreciate you we love you and the next time we're in nash vegas 100 we had so much fun in that city man the ryman was one of the i mean one of the best venues i think we've ever played incredible are you feel duped you feel bamboozled again i feel he doesn't like to be lied to i was lied to

Speaker 1 like we lost We did. There's some losing here.
What do you mean? They didn't guess mine, so I was good. And they didn't guess yours either.

Speaker 1 I guess yours. Yeah, yeah.
Taylor did. Oh, he guessed yours.
Taylor piece that they apart.

Speaker 1 So, honestly,

Speaker 1 they won. You lost.
I did lose. Yeah.
I did lose. Do we be honest for a second? Yeah.
You're the only loser here. Close us out then.
Thank you for being a bad friend.