Moon King & Agent Orange w/ Yannis Pappas

You two are bad friends.

Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.
You two are something. We're bad friends.
Um. Oh no.
Introduce our guest. Yanis Papaluno.
Yanis Papaluno, the Greek god. God.
Yeah. Yeah? It's a benefit that there's not a lot of Greeks, because people always just refer to your ethnicity when there's only like three Greeks.
Yeah, but you're the Greek. You're the, in comedy, you're the Greek.
Well, Stavros. Stavros is.
He's a bigger Greek than you. He's a bigger Greek.
He's a better Greek. Well, he's a bigger physically bigger Greek than you.
Bigger career, bigger body. No, dude.
Yeah. To me, you're my number one Greek.
Thank you. I appreciate it.
He goes gyros, then you. You know what goes? That sizzling cheese.
Oh, yeah. That's Saganaki.
Saganaki, which sounds Japanese. It does.
Hey, buddy. Stav.
Stav. Stavi.
Yeah, can you hear me? Hey, sweetheart. We're on the podcast right now I know you're Putting you on blast a little bit But there's a Greek guy in here Who thinks he's the superior Greek of comedy Giannis Papas He's talking crazy You got anything Is he in there Yeah Yeah Are you guys trying to foment Anti-Greek That's what they're doing Are.
Are you guys trying to sow division in our ranks? Because I'm not going to – I need to hear from his voice first before I'm going to trust your mongrel redhead ass. Yeah.
You're a mongrel, dude. You know what kind of pieces he's – You know what's really talking shit? Are you guys trying to – We're trying to stir something up.
You know he's not talking shit. We're strong.
We stand back to back. We know better than to fall for the fake Irish and Korean menace.
All right. We love you.
Sorry. We love you, man.
We're sorry. I'm sorry.
We didn't want to create a divide. That's okay.
All right. Apologies.
I'm actually, this is pretty funny. You can hear the echo.
I'm actually shitting. I know you're shitting.
I know you're shitting. I'll're shitting i'll see you tomorrow bye babe i just i just picture stop shitting like all day all day let me tell you something i did i did his podcast he he said he shit before and then right when i got there we had some downtime because they were trying to get a green screen right had to shit again yeah before we even rolled yeah he eats three times, four times shits eight times.
He's so fat now?

He's a big guy.

Okay, relax as you stuff your fucking face.

Oh, he's so fat.

Here's the thing.

It is very easy to divide Greeks, by the way.

Well, I assumed I would throw something out there and see how it was.

He really upheld the Greek heritage.

We were never unified.

We never had an empire.

We were always city states.

We were always fighting with each other.

Yeah, you guys were never a... There's no semblance of nationalism

there, huh? No, we fought over boys.

Also, and you guys have given away

your whole country. You guys like lamb light so much.

Yeah, we do. You've given away your whole country to tourism

anyway. We have, yeah.
You guys are fucking

sellouts. You're huge sellouts.

Huge. I mean, the Germans invaded

us and now they walk around our beaches with no, like... Yeah, little mankinis on.
Little mankinis. Why do they wear those? Why is that okay? Because of the Holocaust.
I see the direct correlation. You see it, right? I did the math real quick.
Yeah, you saw it. Yeah, they're allowed to do that because of all the past things that they've done.
Yeah. We're going to watch around the beaches of Greece with our friends and just show off our little tiny packages.
Yeah, they have, they don't, they don't have big ones. No, they don't.
No, the Germans don't. They have big guts.
They have bigger dicks than me. Can I tell you something? Watching you eat that burger gives me unbelievable joy.
I love it. This is the second time I've done this show and both times you were eating burgers.
can't suspect it Yeah, the last time you came from the airport And you didn't eat and you had a burger You asked me before why you eat burgers I said because you have a bad diet And then I said because we're in LA And you said those were both true But you said the third reason was because you were rude I'm No. Take your time.
You know what's funny, Gunness? You and Paul Veerzy, right? Yeah. Veerzy.
Paul Veerzy. Whatever.
Yeah. Every time I go, you get talked, oh, come to our house.
Every time I'm in New York, I text you guys, I call you guys. No invite.
There's no truth to that at all. There's got to be no truth.
There's 100%. Are you calling him a liar? There's no truth.
Are you calling him a liar? Do you think for one second he follows up and calls and wants to come up there? Look at me in the face and say you do. Yeah.
I do. I believe him.
You believe him. You're lying.
Wait, do that to me. I want to see the lie.
I want to see how good you do it. I have to look on the ground real quick.
No, you can't look at the ground. No, you have to stare at his face.
Don't look away. Okay, go.
Wait. So did you call all the time and you say that you want to come up and follow up? Not you necessarily, Parse, but Paul Reesies.
Well, that's not true either. I go, Paul.
First of all, it's not his name. Second of all.
I'm in town. Yeah.
I'm going to come to the woods. I'm in Jersey.
Yeah. I love that he says Parse.
He doesn't know it's Parse. Yeah thinks it's par se it is what it is it is exactly what people correcting your english english we'll go back to your country then and speak your own language yeah i'm trying to they won't accept me back yeah we don't want you here yeah you do i do personally but anyway anyway so You know, it's like don't do the invite then right Greek right Greek hairy bastard piece yes that's right gyro head gyro head but when I you know when I came around the corner I saw you I get so excited to see I really do love you so much I feel like we're family let's give it up for our guest Giannis Papas in the studio today let's give him a round of applause why not the Gian Pap the Gian Pap the Gian Pap me too I feel like we're family.
Let's give it up for our guest, Giannis Papas in the studio today. Let's give him a round of applause.
Why not? The Gian Pap, the Gian Pap, the Gian Pap. Me too.
I feel like we're family. I mean, it's like- Do you really? Yeah.
No chance. Like if I die, honestly, let's just go there.
First of all, who's gonna go to your funeral? Who's gonna go to your funeral, Giannis? Bobby or I? I feel more like Bobby's family than you because I speak more to you and I'm estranged to Bobby. So that kind of reminds me of my own brother.
Right, right, right. Yeah, he's cold.
That feels more like home. He's more formal.
It feels more like home. What do you mean? I text him, he doesn't respond.
That's so outrageous. You're more family than me.
It's so outrageous. He's a friend.
Yeah, I'm a real friend. Yeah, I can choose him.
Okay. I'm stuck with you.
Okay. So let me ask you something, Yan Yan.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So there's no love here.

There's.

I mean, you're closer to Andrew than you are to me.

There's like here.

There's love here.

That feels better.

Yeah.

Which means is.

Whatever works for you, baby.

Yeah.

It feels better.

There's a better chance I'll kill you than him.

The people who are in your family are usually the ones who kill you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's interesting.

Yeah.

Because I'm going to tell you something, my friend.

I don't know if you could.

Did your phone just go off?

Does someone have a rotary phone?

No.

Honestly.

Whose phone went off?

Yeah, dude.

Whose phone went off?

It wasn't me.

Whose phone went off right now?

Be real.

Be real right now.

Get the paddle.

Get the paddle out.

I will never betray Carlos.

Carlos, was that your phone? No, it was me. I'll tell you what.
No, it was me i could tell you real yeah uh interesting interesting interesting interesting interesting don't ever do that again no no i think it's worse than that i think i think you need to go outside you're fired you're fired i want you to sit in the parking lot for the rest of the episode okay no honestly go outside though outside we don't we don't We don't want to see you for 10 minutes. I want you to think about what you did.
Yeah. It even had the ring had an accent.
Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Yeah, it did.
It's that Barcelona. Get him up here, you scumbag.
You're in town? I'm obviously in town, Bobby. I'm in the room.
Do I? Yeah. Dude, you're so combative right now.
No, I just don't. What's going on? You're just making conversation, whereas he has real questions.
What did you ask? Oh, so you think I'm doing small talk. I think you're doing fake small talk.
Do big talk right now. Yeah, do big talk.
Yeah, well, what's the meaning of the universe? Ask me what chakra I'm on right now. I'm on a high chakra.
I'm not operating on lower chakras anymore.

I'm not operating on lower chakras. Is that good talk or what?

It's good to me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think it's good talk, dude.

I feel like you do operate on a-

Surface.

You're a very surface level.

Yeah.

How often do you get down there?

Down to the ground?

Down underneath, inside, below.

I've been down there for too long.

And now I found the light.

I crawled out. And guess what? It's the fucking white telling me to go back in the fucking hole And I refuse to do it First of all I tell that right now We're not the same kind of white But still white Yeah Oh so you're saying Different shades of white We're different whites And you're a different shade of white too buddy Oh you think so? You're as white as fucking me When you wear yellow It brings out the white I can't even see you it's like it's like when a news guy on a green screen doing the weather is when a green shirt i can't even see you right now you know that new um you know that new teeth when you have yellow teeth it turns white yeah so that's what i'm gonna do with my body yeah when your shirts are yellow you know i'm gonna go purple well you look more white now when you wear yellow yeah because here's the thing i don't understand how did that become a stereotype that asians are yellow they're not yellow they're white no but it's the undertone of their skin is yellow is it yeah look i mean look at i'm like i'm a red hue yeah but i see yellow in your skin i know i'm close we're brothers we're brothers that's what you're saying yes so then you're a yellow a yellow gooey.
Yes, thank you. I'm from an island.
You're from an island. Yeah.
We're all the same. We're all connected.
And so you're allowed to say it. Yeah.
On the count of three. God, how do you- Let's just say the G word, right? Right? One, two, three.
Gargantuan. I'm not saying it.
You son of a bitch. It's a trap.
It was a trap. Oh, you're right.
So, you know, but at the end of the day too, think that we're a different species i think we're comedians yeah i think comedians are a tribe in the into themselves absolutely now but if there was just a society of just comedians what would happen what do you mean what would get done if everyone got wiped out but comics what would happen well we wouldn't have electricity no electricity yeah no running water no no no A lot of fucking. No sewage system.
Yeah, there'd be a lot of fucking. Yeah.
So a lot of, like, overproduction of human beings. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But nothing logical. And then we would go to, like, Vaughn's or a grocery store.
We'd go, oh, fuck, Stavros was just here. It's empty.
Right? Yeah. What's some good ones for whites? See, the thing we never came up with you know when you say cracker that's that's i love crackers yeah you what kind of crackers even like like the plain ones that like the saltine ones you got but still they're good if you put peanut butter in it it's delicious yeah they're only good with something else the point is it's not good alone yeah but it's very like but you know what i bet you this like i like crackers in groups like when crackers are grouped together yeah like you know at the capital or something then i think they're viable and they're worth something oh individual crackers are worth nothing yeah if you take a bunch of crackers together and you put them out in a field at night right and they're chanting and they have torches then iches.
Then I like them. I love it when crackers have torches.
Those are better crackers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right. Otherwise, right out of the box, one-on-one, they're not that good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like them in groups, too.
Yeah, groups of crackers. That's what I really like.
But like in Japanese tournament camps, I bet you, buddy, if you go, you want a cracker, they would love it. Just a dry cracker.
Yeah, because they didn't have any. Yeah.
They would say anything. Bingo.
My point. Okay.
You're right. When you're hungry, you love it.
our slogan my point is that's and then white devil does that feel bad that's not that great either I like it what does the white devil look like by the way when they say white devil what does he look like Zuckerberg do you think Mark Zuckerberg is white devil look they're handsome it's like an Abercrombie ad yeah right they look like models it doesn't matter the white devil yeah no that's not a shot Hockey's a funny one Honky Honky Yeah honky Yeah honky's a funny one too Honky honky Like it's like black people Yeah yeah Making fun of our rhythm Like honky honky Yeah Like you're honking something Yeah Yeah Yeah there isn't one So let's come up with one now That will hurt your feelings Go on on. All right.
Why don't we go on? We're doing it as a think tank. Cumface.
Yeah. Cumface.
Load. Jizzkin.
Jizzkin. Jizzkin, no.
Jizzkin? Yeah. Jizzkin sounds like a club in New York in the 80s.
Sounds like my lawyer. Mock Jizzkin.
Yeah. So Jizzkin doesn't work.
What else? By the way, what a nightclub in the 80s. What? Come on down to Jiskin.
And that's what I'm saying. Andy Warhol's there.
Basquiat will be there one night only at J-J-J-Jisker. You know how sad it would be if a guy like that was still alive today? Would he be selling out? You better believe it.
Oh, Basquiat? Basquiat. 100%.
Oh'd be selling out like fucking crazy. Married to a white guy.
Girl. Absolutely.
White girl for sure. Yeah.
100%. 100%.
And who would he be making clothes for? What company? Oh, that's it. Gap.
You think Gap? Totally. I was going to say, I was going to say, Hugo Boss would buy him out in a heartbeat.
Because Hugo Boss has that kind of like, they're halfway in the, you know, they're designer, but they try to look like regular clothes do you know what I mean? they would have like Basquiat versions of Hugo Boss shirts do you know what I'm talking about? they're just enough in the designer world but they're like pretending to still have regular shit started by the Nazi they made the Nazi uniforms we know why do you always have to bring it to that? All the good stuff was. I know, but you know.
Yeah, Hugo Boss, he was actually, he made the, they made the Nazi uniform. They did make the Nazi uniform.
And can I tell you something? And they look good. My suit at my wedding? Yeah.
Hugo Boss. Yeah.
They made great suits. Yeah.
These guys make a suit. Look at that.
That was me at my wedding. Yeah, dude.
Those are so nice. That's me and my line

When I did it when I did an IBM commercial net 90s

I remember comic goes why are you doing commercial IBM? They they worked in the Holocaust

They did the numbers

They figured out IBM figured a way to trap the number shut up. I sort of God this is a bit no he was really mad about it they're all ones and zeros Google it does IBM and the Holocaust I've never heard this in my IBM and the Holocaust the strategic alliance they were involved holy shit they were involved they were involved and so I'm like yeah but I live out of my car fuck face Volkswagen too I'm doing it Volkswagen the people's Wagon.
Wait, wait, they did it too? Volkswagen. Well, Mercedes made the tanks.
Mercedes too. Yeah, Mercedes made the tanks.
Do you think, though, like two jobs Germans should not be allowed to do ever is Baker and train conductor? Should be illegal, right? It would be illegal. For the rest of infinity.
What about a gay German train conductor, though? Is that redundant? Because a little gay guy at the front of it, like a little gay German, like, choo-choo, chugging along. Stand clear of the closing doors.
Tickets, please. Stand clear of the closing doors.
Unless you want to stop for a minute and dance, dance, dance, dance. They pull the train over, dance party, dance party.
Yeah, I just feel like if a Jewish person's on the train, they hear that voice, I think they'll have intergenerational trauma. Yeah, that's true.
It's intergenerational trauma. All right.
Today, I was on TikTok, and they said that the Statue of Liberty, right, is actually a Satan, a Lucifer homage to him. Wait a minute.
A Lucifer homage to him who? Lucifer. An homage to Lucifer.
Yeah, you said that like a dyslexic person. I don't know.
The sentence was backwards. What are you talking about? You think the French gave us the Statue of Liberty as an iconic symbol of Satan? Yes.
Look at that. Because of the horns?

I mean, the little... It's a crown.

The crown, yeah, the little stick.

You're right?

Right.

And the twer...

I don't know.

I just...

I don't know.

I don't know much about it.

I actually brought it up.

No, no, no.

Yeah, sorry.

Let's decode this.

I fucked it up.

Let's decode this.

Yeah.

Let's try to figure this out alone.

It looks like it's a good conspiracy theory.

Oh, no fucking shit.

No, but like...

There we go.

Here we go.

This is what I saw.

Looks like it's a conspiracy theory. No, like what it's taking me to on the internet pause for a second what does the history channel this is the history child that's not going to be on that's not going to be on there there we go this is what i'm talking about let's hear it is actually a statue dedicated to lucifer the left left is a painting made in the 17th century wow known as satan summoning his legion i'm in now the devil's original name in the bible was known as lucifer or in hebrew hellel which means the light bearer or the bringer of light whoa hold on i'm in holding a torch it's bearing the light i'm in now the statue of liberty looks awfully similar to the colossus of roads and the colossus of roads was one of the ancient wonders of the world it was a bronze g statue it was about a hundred and eight feet tall dude looks like it's where it is right there we're in a diaper holding a torch this statue was dedicated to the Greek God Helios the God of the Sun the God of the light in fact many Luciferians refer to the devil as the great light in this painting of Satan summoning his legion looks awfully similar to the face of the Statue of Liberty.

I mean, take a look.

Looks pretty similar to me.

I'm in.

I'm in.

I'm in. I'm so old, dude.

Because he led

in all those

damn immigrants.

Only Satan would do that.

That's why.

Bring me your tired.

Your weak.

Your starving.

Your Italian. Your Greeks, your Romanians.
Kiss the ground at my feet.

Work three jobs.

Have more babies.

I was tired when I saw it.

America!

I'm down with that.

Are you down with that theory?

100%.

It's not a theory.

That seems fact. He proved it.
First of all, the most defining thing. Yeah.
They do look alike. Yeah.
That was the one that got me. Yeah, they look alike.
When he said, yeah, it looks pretty close to me is when I was convinced. Yeah.
I got lost around when he went to Helios. I was like, where are we now? Well, see, he didn't include Helios.
The beginning was fine enough because Lucifer in Hebrew is the bearer of light. He could have stuck with that at the beginning.
Go click at the beginning. Don't press play.
Just click back in the frames. So this could have sold me.
Helios really fucked up his whole argument. Right.
Because this does look alike. The schnoz is the exact same.
That looks like an Italiano schnoz. Right.
I know. To the left, I? I've never seen that before.
And you know, Lucifer was Italian. Lucifada.
Lucifada. He was? Lucifer.
Lucifer. Lucifario.
Oh, I see. Yes.
So this looks like an Italian schnoz. And you know what he's holding up? What? Papers.
His wife served him papers. Fucking bitch gave me fucking papers.
It's my house, bitch. Okay.
I'm wrong then. No, well, I think right and wrong.

At the beginning, I think he was right.

And then I think he...

And then Helios threw us all off.

I think he just gave wrong reasoning,

but at the beginning, that's all he needed.

Carlos, email this guy.

Tell him that we're halfway in.

Just cut the Helios part,

and then he can put it back up.

All right, done.

We'll use it on the show.

Who has...

Like, who are these people

sitting around making these videos?

This guy.

Who has...

Look at this guy.

Who has time to just be like, I got it figured out? That guy looks like Nadav from your mom's house. One of those producers.
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This is a paid advertisement. I'm a moon god.
Somehow. You know.
You are. I'm the moon god.
You know why? Why? Because the sun is harmful and strong and powerful and the moon is sneaky and fat and makes me feel good and you are those things you know it's so funny you said those things to offend me didn't no i didn't say it did the opposite my friend it only encouraged my narrative i wasn't trying to offend you and i am moon and i am sneaky you and i am moon. And I am sneaky.
And I am fat.

And I am creepy.

And I am all those things.

No, he said sneaky.

Whatever you imply,

I am those things.

And I'm not going to deny it.

And guess what, dude?

What, baby?

When the day comes

and there's a fucking,

you'll have a revelation.

Go on?

Yeah.

The moon will rise.

And when the moon rises,

I will have my fucking revenge under the people on the earth. And you're going to be on number one, man.
Wow. Because you roll with the sun god.
Not me, dude. I 100% roll with the sun god.
I know you do. I'm moon.
And you too. You watch your words right now, my friend.
Because when the revelation happens... The revelation? Yes.
There will be a revelation. Let him do it.
There will be a revelation okay and when it happens dude yeah you'll be in the bottom dude who are you gonna sink with the fucking you know who he is he's he's a little dipper this guy i'm a little dipper he's 100 a little dipper i'm a bunch of stars i'm a constellation he's a constellation yeah they don't even exist actually in all constellations you would you'd be the little dipper you are absolutely the little fuck you do you're 100 I'm the moon dog. You be the little dipper.
You are absolutely the little dipper.

Hey, fuck you, dude.

You're 100% a little dipper.

I'm the moon dog.

You're a little dipper.

The moon dog.

And I'm Osiris.

You're Osiris?

Yeah.

Osiris, the arrow guy, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

What are you then?

He's the big dipper.

I'm the big dipper.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

We'll have a war, right?

They don't even exist.

The moon does. No, no, no.
The stars definitely exist. No, you see them because they imploded.
Some of them are gone. Are all fucking stars imploded? No.
No, dude. What? No, you're just looking back in time.
Back in time because it takes that long for the light to travel to you. Yeah, but the reason why there are lights is because they exploded.

No, not necessarily.

Okay, Google that because now I'm learning something new.

I gotta tell you, you're never gonna outsmart this guy.

It's gonna be a bad road if you go up against him.

You know what's funny when they do those constellations?

He's very smart.

And they go like, this is Osiris.

And you're going, that's a stretch.

It's like four dots and then they build a man around it.

You're like, that's not what I-

Most of the stars that make up our constellations

are just like the sun. They won't ever explode.
Only the massive stars in the universe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's not what I said. Most of the stars that make up our constellations are just like the sun.

They won't ever explode.

Only the massive stars in the universe.

Oh, but they're suns.

They're all stars.

They're all stars.

The sun is a star.

Sun's a star.

Prove my point?

Dude, are you sure?

Scumbag.

That was so trickery.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not a planet, though.

But I'm going to let you get away with it.

It's not a planet, though.

No, and the explodings are supernovas.

You're right.

They explode and then we see them die.

Okay.

But I'm still the moon, guys.

Thank you. It's not a planet, though.
I'm going to let you get away with it. It's not a planet, though.
No, and the explodings are supernovas. You're right.
They explode and then we see them die. Okay.
But I'm still the moon die. Supernova.
What's the best wish or you wish on a shooting star? What's the greatest wish you made that never came true? Because I know you made one. The biggest wish that I never came true.
Everyone's wished on a shooting star. You have.
You've seen one. Well, there's a fountain at the mall where I grew up, and it owes me probably 3,000 pennies.
Do you know how much money that is? I don't know. You don't know how much 3,000 pennies comes out to you? Get my abacus.
I don't know. I can't do that.
You really don't know? It's $30. $30.
It was only $30 because I did one wish and it never happened what was it what it was um that I would marry a specific girl in my neighborhood what was her name I can't because she's she's a big bad friends fan now oh you said throw pennies in the pond and nothing ever happened and she never fell in love with you no but then I was playing the American comedy company you know that one. It was a company five years ago or six years ago.
And she came with this other girl. It's so funny because this other girl.
So there was... I don't want to say her name either.
Don't. During graduation, right? Yeah.
I was with a bunch of guys. Sounds right.
And she comes up to all of us. She goes, all right, so Craig, I'll see you in two weeks.
We're going to go to that thing. And then, hey, Mark, make sure your sister calls me because we're going to do that thing, right? And she looks at me and she goes, I'll see you in 12, 10 years.
Wow. You? Yeah, at the reunion.
That's why I never went. Right.
Because I didn't want to fulfill. I didn't want to fulfill.
Did you go to your high school reunion? I did go to one.

To 10?

I went to the 10 or the 15.

Yeah.

They do fives?

I thought it was only.

It had domination to 10. I went to an odd number school.

Oh, yeah.

So I think I went to the 13 year.

Okay.

Yeah.

Did you really go?

I went to one.

But no one knew who you were then.

Oh, dude.

I was the most popular kid around.

Yeah.

I was a popular kid.

What a fall from grace. Yeah.
I really... It's been all downhill.
No, you were Mr. Popular, huh? I was.
So you went back for the 10 year and people were like, Giannis is here. And the 15 year, it was like, oh, Giannis is here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, are they still doing them? I think they still do them.
I don't know. Yeah.
Would you go now or no? Yeah, I'd go now. You know what's fucking crazy? I didn't go to mine.
I have no chance. But what's even more fucked up is I was home during the last reunion.
And I was literally in Chicago. But I was in for the night to go to this thing.
And then I was leaving that night. Yeah.
So I could have gone. Yeah.
I was already all the way across the country and i still was like i can't fucking do it why i i just don't i don't have my friends that were from high school are my homies that's my i know who that's i got a click and that's it you're still friends with them the chunk there's a couple of my homies yeah there's a bunch of my like good good people that i still talk to you know but it's like a Yeah. But they did a combined.
So there's two schools out by me. They're both the same size and they did them as one.
Yeah. Wow.
And I, cause some of the kids I grew up with went to the other school and then some went to my school and I felt bad cause I thought, man, maybe I should have fucking gone just to see what everyone looked like now. That's really what they're for, right? To see what we, yeah.
To judge everybody. To just see if people who fell apart and who didn't.
I would just want to see some people what they look like now. Right.
But if I do go to mine, I'm going to wear a fur coat. Yeah.
Really? No shirt underneath. You clean up a little bit, you mean? No, I would look really crazy.
Why? How do you increase that? How do you crazy up crazy? No, I would just look. I wear American Fur coat.
I would dare you to wear all MAGA gear. Oh shit.
That'd be cool. You'd fit right in in San Diego.
Finally! You fucking came around. You sell insurance? But the truth is when we played San Diego, my guy friends from high school came to the show.
Do you that they were all awesome and they're all nice guys i know i'm teasing i love san diego okay it's a great i'm just saying i don't need to go to the reunion because i think that the people that i want to see anyway are the people i'm in contact with that's what i was saying my homies are the closest that i it'd be nice to see a few people that i haven't seen in a long time yeah but i don't know it was weird for was weird for, I don't know. They got to let you know who's going too.
You can't just show up and then. Show me the RSVP.
There's only like four people there. I need to know who's going.
Oh, you show up. Well, you can peak.
You can show up, peak. No.
And then, oh, there's only three. Because someone would see you there.
Yeah. I mean, you're already there at that point.
You got to do it. Oh, I'm a sneaky peeker.
Yeah. You were big time sneaky.
That's why you're the moon. I'm a sneaky peeker.
You're the moon dog. Moon dog.
Moon dog. Moon dog.
Look at this. This is you, sneaky peeker.
What I did when I was a kid, this true story, is I masturbated with Vicks Vapor Rub. I thought- The most painful thing probably- Dude, it was wild.
It was so painful. Vicks Vapor Rub? Why did I do it? I don't know.
I can't give you a good reason why I did it. It was curiosity, but I did do it.
More than once or or just once? At one time, you don't do that two times. You might though.
I've done it six times. I'll tell you why.
Because you forget. Yeah.
But we did it with tiger bombs. You learn by the sixth time.
I learned the first time. Right, no, but you do it as a kid.
My brother and I did it, Steve. We must have been middle school.
It was the most painful human fucking experience in your life. It was crazy, never do that.
But then when we were like 19, 20, we go, do you remember, it couldn't have been as painful as we thought it was. Oh, so you did it again.
And then we did it again. And every six years we repeat the fucking behavior.
But I'm telling you, I won't do it again probably not. I've never put anything.
See the thing is it starts off great. Like before it kicks in.
It's so cool. Yeah, before it kicks in, You're like, holy, this is what I thought was going to be.
It's awesome. Because I thought it was just going to have a little tinge to it.
I thought it was going to have a little burn. I thought it was going to give it a little something extra.
But it's a hot sauce for your dick. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it keeps going. We should try that on our show.
You should do it, yeah. Yeah, let's try it on the show.
Let's see what happens. It's kind of hurts so bad.
It hurts so bad. It was bad.
Can we use Tiger Balm though? That was the worst.

Yeah, no.

Please, Tiger Balm.

So bad.

That would be funny

if you guys did that

under the table

and just tried to continue

to do the podcast.

Yeah.

That's like when you...

Patreon.

Yeah, that's exactly right.

That's why when you get

a little bit of soap

in your tip,

it hurts so much.

Carlos, any new glory hole stories

that you've been...

Have you been ducking in

and out of somewhere shady lately? No. Actually, I did something that Bobby said I couldn't do.
What? I adopted a dog. He said I wasn't responsible enough to do it.
You seriously adopted a dog? Yeah. And Bobby told me...
You've been holding this the whole show? Yeah, of course. Giannis is here.
He's alive. Let me see a photo of him.
I put him up on the screen. Why is he not responsible?

This guy?

Yeah, he's not.

Yeah, they think I can't take care of a dog.

Who the fuck is they?

Don't throw me in that dog.

It was Bobby, but you know what happened?

We'll have to vouch for you.

Yeah, I reached out to the rescue, and Kalilah calls me.

Lovely.

Very nice.

She goes, hey, this rescue just got your application.

I know them meant to be. So now Kalilah can take care of the dog.
That's not And she goes, hey, this rescue just got your application. I know them.
Meant to be.

So now Kalilah can take care of the dog.

That's not what she said to me.

What'd she say to you?

I'm going to call Kalilah right now.

She said.

Did she recommend you?

Yes.

I'm going to call her right now.

You fucking asshole.

I'm going to yell at her.

Wait a minute.

Why did they call Kalilah?

Because she works there.

She loves the dogs.

Oh, at the place that he went to? That was obviously strategic. Because if they ran his record anywhere else, they'd have been like, no fucking way.
What did he do, kill dogs before? He dogfighted? He's assaulted a few of them. He's got three assault charges on his dog fighting ring? No, it made me not want to see an escort, though, so I didn't want to leave the dog home alone.
You can't bring the dog? Baby? Oh, you're on Bad Friends right now. Oh, God.
Why did I say cookie dough? That's funny. That's funny.
Thanks for calling me cookie dough on a live podcast. All right? What's up, babe? So you recommended a dog from the shelter to Carlos? No, no, no.
Okay, here we go. I got a message.
I got a message from my rescue coordinator who said, hey, do you know this guy? Then you should have said no. And I was like, oh, yeah, I know him.
And she was like, what is he? What's his deal? Because, like, we're really, really careful about who we adopt to because this particular dog had just, like, a really, like, fucked up story and was on the streets for a while. Was he molested or something? What happened? I don't know, but he was at the shelter for a minute.
But he was like, you know, so we're really super careful who we adopt out to. So I basically had to give the full.
Anyway, why is the dog at the Holocaust Museum? Yeah. That's where they have him.
He was laughing. Oh, anyway.
Okay. Well, that's good then.
It's a damaged dog. Is there a conflicting story? No, no, no.
We just don't think the dog... Carol should have a dog.
But anyway. No, Bobby thinks that.
Wait, wait, wait. But it did say...
I was super honest about it. I gave a very, very honest assessment of Carlos.
I said he has a really good heart. All of the

things, but was very

upfront. Did you tell the part where he frequents

prostitutes? Yeah.

He doesn't want to leave the dog alone when he goes to get

a hooker, he said.

I did say all that stuff, too.

Glory holds you said.

We did.

Hey, Kalilah.

Yeah. Her and I have a code word word and she'll know what it means churros churros baby see bye cookie dough cookie dough cookie dough cookie dough I gotta tell I have to tell you first of all well what the fuck is churros dude what the fuck is churros dude they're Mexican I know what they are what they are very good cinnamon sugar what is the code deep fried huh i'm being real what's the code dude you know oh yeah yeah two can play that with that game you and your wife that's not a code word oh yeah what is it what's it gonna be what's it gonna be deeps deeps plural deeps yeah dude and you know i'm trying to figure it out yeah figure it out me and your wife have a word deeps what? you gonna get up? no alright talk to me about this bullshit dog this thing's gonna be dead in a month just read the read the statue all of the Jews who bore the brand of Hitler's death camps on their arm only a mere handful lived to tell the horror horror that was the Holocaust.
And you put your dog in front of it. What's your dog's name? Adolf? Archie.
Archie. Archie.
Archie Himmler? Yeah. That was his name at the shelter.
Now, how long have you had Archie? About eight days. And how's it going? It's going really well.
You love Archie? I do. Does he sleep on the bed with you? He but I did think of you I was like oh why didn't you bring him here who's watching the dog now he's at a foster right now because I have to move and they don't want me to have him while he moves so I've just had him for a week you don't want to risk Bobby eating him yeah no he ate a burger right in front of you yeah that's true and what kind of dog was that can we go back to that why I don't want to brush back by that why because it's a joke I get it no it's not a joke it's a fact yeah So it's true.
And what kind of dog was that? Can we go back to that? Why? I don't want to brush back by that. Why? Because it's a joke.
I get it. No, it's not a joke.
It's a fact. Yeah.
It's a fact. Can we just stop for a second? If I had a dog, I wouldn't bring him here.
I wouldn't take any chances. Okay.
What do you mean by that? I just wouldn't take any risks. There's RT.
So cute. God, I want to have another hamburger for some reason.
By looking at that. When he pulled the burger on the wrap, he pulled the burger on the wrap and he unwrapped it,

and he goes, oh, Breck Rab.

That is a good-looking dog.

That is a good-looking dog.

So, Archie, you're going to keep the name.

I'm going to keep the name.

Now, why?

Just because it was his name,

and I don't want to fucking teach him a new one.

You can switch a dog's name. He's young enough.
I don't don't want to have to be like oh now your name's like Mandugo or something why Mandugo dude why Mandugo dude why Mandugo dude that was just a creative name no it's not there's some racial overtones of that dude dogs from the Congo who the fuck is Mandugo bro is Mandugo? He's a Congolese warlord. It just hit my head.
Mandugo is the first name. That's insane.
That's insane, dude. You're a nutso dude.
You gotta get your fucking shit together, dude. No, I am.
I'm getting a dog. I'm moving August 1st.
Where are you going? Los Feliz. He's moving to Los Feliz.
Can I tell you some good news for me, though? My God, can you ever.

May?

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You know why?

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Okay.

I'm telling you.

I bet you it has aloe vera and sunflower seed oil,

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It does!

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Wait a minute.

Yeah, yeah.

Are you telling me it also...

What?

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25?

I'm giving them a lot.

10, 15?

10, 12, yeah.

And it's so funny when you say that and when I die, you'll know that you said that.

I'll die in 10 years then, bud.

Okay.

Okay.

I mean, 10 more years of this show will be great.

Then people will be asking us for betting tips. Yeah, 100%.
Dude, ringing us up who do you got on the Knicks what are you looking for hopefully I'll be here for 25 more years please Bobby I want you to be around for 40 more fucking years look at me 40 more years my parents were at least 80 your mom is healthier're going all day. My mom's 81.
You're going to 85. Your mom is healthier than you.
Yeah. She's in great shape.
Yeah. Okay.
You should see her nick. Churro, churro.
Churro, churro, churro, churro, churro, churro. No, that's the irony of life, right? Like we'll drop dead and he'll just be like 100.
Yeah. Eating burgers like that.
Yeah. No problem.
I don't want anyone. You know, honestly, let's go back to this.
Here's the deal. I'd rather die before you because I don't want to live without you.
I don't want anyone you know honestly let's go back to this here's the deal I'm I'd

rather die before you because I don't want to live without you I don't think you mean that I do mean

that really I do yeah he does yeah I do he loves you but I'm let me tell you I'll be honest um I

think Andrew more than you because I'm closer to Andrew yeah I think Andrew's death would be

a tad more traumatizing for me would you fly to New York to go to his funeral 100 percent you would

I'm going to go to his funeral? 100%. You would? 100%, dude.
All right, here's the circumstance. Would you take care of my kids? No.
Okay. I don't even want to meet them.
I won't even say hi to my funeral. Here's the circumstances, right? Yeah.
Giannis' funeral. It's on a Monday.
You got to record belly. There's only one flight in and one flight out.
Who am I? Who's the guest? It's Quentin Tarantino. Quentin Tarantino is the guest.
Dude, would we go to each other's funerals? Are we friends like that? I wouldn't go to yours. I feel like this is like the breakfast club.
We're sitting there going like, go to your fucking funeral. Are you on your mind? At this point, yes.
You would? Yes. My God.
Because I want to tell you something. So I'm just one to feel bad that I wouldn't go to your guys' funeral? Why are you leaving? Honestly, you wouldn't come? To a funeral? Well, not a funeral, but let's say they're going to do this.
I don't know if they probably do mine at the belly room. This is funny.
He's serious. He wouldn't come.
But if know what I mean where people went up and talked about me and had like a memorial would you not go to that at the comedy store I will get a picture with both of you guys in case you die I'll change my profile pic for a week thank you with us you know what's funny about this whole but Tarantino no I would skip I knew you wouldn't Tarantino yeah but anyone else anyone else really Scorsese I mean no one at else? Really? Scorsese. I mean, no one at that level.
What do you mean? Robert De Niro. De Niro.
Yeah, no one at that level. Those are like earth-shattering numbers I could have.
All right, I'll give someone in the middle. Okay.
The Rock. That's not the...
That's up there still. What I mean is like...
That's not the middle. You're not a huge fan of The Rock.
I love The Rock. Stavros.
No. No.
That's the honest truth, no. So you'd come to my funeral? Yeah.
Okay. That made me feel okay.
Stavros. It'll be hard.
Because he's not in town that much. It'll be really hard.
I'd have to write a letter or email. Yeah.
You know, I've been pondering this for a week, right? And I can't believe you're not going to Giannis' funeral. Because he would go, right? He might go.
That's what I would do. I would call Giannis and go, listen, dude, I know you're supposed to pod with me today, about tomorrow, but I think we should go to Giannis' funeral.
And I'll pay for your flight. Right, and pod.
First class. Pod.
We'll pod on the plane. No, we'll pod afterwards.
I'll pod after the funeral. Here's the funniest part about you wanting one of those comedy store immemoriums that you're talking about.
Yeah. It's just more work that I would have to do when you die.
Once again, you put me to work even when you're fucking dead. Imagine.
Because I'd have to put on the whole thing and produce it. No one would give me credit.
No one would care that I had to do all this. I would put together a super cut video of you.
And the pressure of the speech. Un-fucking-believable.
Unbelievable pressure. You have to fake cry.
Yeah. I would cry.
I think you would cry on your own yeah but in public you would fake cry yeah yeah yeah what would you say what would your speech be like what would be like i don't mind we all know this day was coming i would go uh i'll tell you my i tell you know i'll tell you my closer for sure right after thank god he's gone emotional deep speech I'd be quiet. I'd start to pretend like I was crying.
And I would try to get myself to get some tears. And I'd slowly look up and I'd go, I'm Bobby Mom.
And it would fucking rip, destroy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It would destroy. And your mom would come down.
She would come down out of the ceiling in like a little cage. You know, like, I'm a slave.
Remember in the sexy jungle outfit and your mom would be dancing and go i'm bobby mom and she would be on a pole and everyone would fucking lose it fucking cannons and and confetti it'd be so much fun yeah bad friends theme music playing fucking hard yeah dude chinese dragon in the ceiling fucking going around you know what what I do? Fucking plates of fucking meat. Yeah.
Yeah. What I would do is I would cry in your speech.
My closer, I would go. And by the way, Giannis and I have a new podcast.
Good friends. Right? And we play a trailer.
Of the new pod. Yeah.
I mean, the audience, there'll be a lot of Well, it's good promo. Good promo.
Yeah, yeah. No, I would support that, actually.
You know who would be there passing out flyers for their podcast and be fucking fancy? Have you seen? Have you seen? Have you seen? Have you seen? Have you seen? He would just be going up and be like, it's so sad. Have you seen my new podcast? It's so sad.
Yeah, it's so sad. But have you seen? Have you seen? Yeah, we've seen.
Have you seen? All right, we've seen. You fucking desperate piece of shit.
He is a little scumbag, isn't he? He's a scumbag. So needy.
It kind of makes you miss George in the weirdest way. Isn't that fucked? Oh, I miss him all the time, man.
Yeah, I miss him all the time. He's gone now, man.
You would never live here. You hate this place.
You've said that adamantly. But I think you got a little crush on us.
I I do have a crush on you I do think you have a crush on LA I have a seasonal affective disorder and I like that the weather's good I love you guys if I was here I would want to hang out with you guys all the time see yeah you do like LA a little bit more than you lead on we'd be big time buds if I lived here oh my god yeah me and you would be me off that you're so far away we would be big time buds buds if I lived here. I think so.
I don't know why I just did that, but we'd be big time buds. I think so too.
Trumpy poke. Yeah, Trumpy poke.
Now, are you in over at the store? No. You can't get spots? I'm going to say something.
Such bullshit. No, no, Andrew, check that out.
Well, I've never been here to go there. So I had a conversation with Sam Murrell and Mark Norman.
Yeah. They have a big time resentment toward the comedy store.
Comedy. Right? And I've also, that was dead on.
Yeah, he does a good one. Yeah, and then, I've also talked to other New York comics saying that when they come to LA, they hate the store because they don't feel like an inn.
But here's the truth. Yeah.
If on a Sunday, like we all do, you text, you know, oh, you texted the booker. Can I say that? You texted the booker, right? That this person said that you could get spots like everyone else, that you don't have to be passed in that way.
If, you know, people like you can call in and you'll get two or three. Okay.
Yeah. I'm just letting you know.
And if you need that reach out, you can reach out to me on a Sunday and I can reach out on your behalf um I will take you up on that one day why not because I yell I to me it's like and I'd even go to Peter and ask because the thing is it is when Andrew and I go to New York the seller gives us everything we want the seller treats us like kings they should should. Everything we want, they make us feel like at home.

We love it there.

I love the seller.

And I'm mad that our club doesn't have the same...

It should be reciprocation.

It should be reciprocation.

Right.

It should feel the same.

You know,

East Coast and West Coast rappers.

No more war.

Yeah.

Peace.

Yeah.

Yeah, reciprocate.

Yeah.

Reciprocate.

Y'all not give a fuck about death, bro?

Yeah.

You know what's so funny? Yeah. It is, they do treat, I mean, the people over there at Cellar, I've talked about on the show, they treat, it's so fucking nice.
It's not just nice. And it should feel that way when guys come here.
I prefer it in a weird way. No, well, you know I do.
When we're sitting there in that little restaurant, right, from the original, right? And we're sitting there with Schultz and Rosebud. And you know who was so funny? Lita and I were sitting there and then Maddie.
I don't know Maddie that well. You know Maddie? Is that her name? Maggie? Maddie? Maggie? Maddie.
She's Theo Vaughn's opener. Oh, oh, oh.
Yeah. Maddie.
Yeah, Maddie. You know her? No.
Well, unless I'm not picturing her. Anyway, I'm a fan of her.
She's on that Wild and Out. She's on that TV show.
I've seen clips of her. Yeah.
And she just sat next to me and goes, hey, I'm Maddie. I go, I know who you are.
And we, like, ha. And we, it was, like, instant best friends.
You know what I mean? Because you get that comedy connection. Yeah.
Ian, Firedance, and Jordan. Jordan killed for us on that show.
She's so good. My point is that New York makes us feel at home, and I want the same for you guys here.
And if you're not careful, Los Angeles, you're going to lose us. We'll lose.
We'll move. You guys got to put the pressure on them.
Say, hey, when the New York guys come out, you got to show them up. I already did.
We have spoken about it. It is kind of fucked up because we do feel like that thing should shit.
That would only help them. Of course.
I want to say something controversial, but the truth is that it'd make the lineups better. Yeah.
Yeah. Be real.
What do you mean? I mean, sometimes you look at the lineups. It would help to get some out-of-town people.
They're all funny, but in terms of who would bring in an audience. It'd be nice to get out-of-towners on the list, of course.

It mixes that up.

It challenges us.

Of course.

It's the whole thing.

Of course. That's all.

All right, so tell us a couple of jokes.

Showcase for our life.

Yeah, remember that morning radio where they'd be like,

so here with Giannis, touring comedian, funny guy.

Love this guy. Very funny guy.
Giannis, you're afraid of deep water? What is that about? Yeah, yeah. I hate deep water.
One time I was actually with my girlfriend, Mad Ripper. Yeah.
I don't get it. Well, I didn't get to the punchline yet.
Yeah, yeah. I do laugh.
Hold on, Wong. Let him get there.
All right. All right.
Here we go. This guy's great, man.
Doesn't like deep water. Vacation problem? What was it? Yeah, honest with you.
Yes, I was with my girlfriend. We were in Cancun.
Uh-oh. Yeah.
Spaghetti out. Yeah.
Uh-oh, spaghetti out. That used to hurt me so much.
What? Having them to lead you, and I felt like I was... I hated it.
Oh, I hated getting there. Well, what uh his the show um the late night show with he would lead you into the byron allen byron allen those are so funny he go so yeah man you don't like spiders do you someone's like right in your bit you know i don't like what was that called what was that called uh comics unleashed i never did it did you i did it how many times you do it i've never done that.
I'll refuse. I never did it.
What do you mean? They never asked me.

I don't think he still does it.

Does he still do it?

I think they do.

But now there's a game show.

It's a game show.

It's like a comedy game show that they have.

They have six comics.

I did it one time.

What's that called?

Like Funny Thing You Should Ask?

You did one of those?

No, no.

It was like a game show-y kind of thing called comedy.

Everyone's done it. What's it called? Funny You Should Ask? Yeah, that's what it is.
I just said that. My bad.
Yeah, Funny You Should Ask. Have you done that? No.
I did it one time. I did it with Louie Anderson when he was a live guy.
I had a rest in play piece. And what's the other guy from SNL? John Lovitz.
All those guys, right? I did it one time and they never asked me back. Sounds like the same kind of guy.
Louie Lovitz, you. Kind of the same kind of guy.
Can we talk about something real? Yeah. Let's talk about how movies and TV shows isn't.
Like, for instance, hear me out. I was on iTunes yesterday.
I'm like, oh, Guardians of the Galaxy is already out and it's also on iTunes. And also, I never even heard about it.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, is it dead? They just drop stuff now.
There's stuff just out. They just want it out as fast as they can.
Yeah, but my point is that and now there's a sack strike happening maybe and stuff like that. That's right, dude.
Is it just obsolete now the thing? I feel like we lucked out really because we do what we do. Yeah.
No, it's not obsolete. It's not obsolete, but it is definitely lower than it was, right? There's not as much going on.
I mean, is your movie going to come out? I have so many that may never come out. No, no, Borderlands.
You said that it was. You know the producer.
I know, but I heard that there's rumblings that it's on the rocks again. Are you being real? Yeah.
Oh, fuck. Well, well probably not then there's just so i'm kidding jesus christ it's coming out there's just so much for people to consume there's too much shit it's too much stuff yeah there's too much shit but also somehow stuff's still cracking through i mean succession crack through i think things are going to crack through if they're good enough.
It's got to be really good.

It's got to be really good.

Well, then isn't that kind of the best barometer?

That's what's interesting about everyone being like,

there's too much shit out there.

You're like, I know.

But then if something is good, like that show Beef, I did.

That is a good show.

That's why people like that show.

It's a good show.

Yeah, yeah. I have nothing to do with it being good.

I'm saying it's good.

Yeah, yeah.

You got a little something to do.

You know, Dave's a good show.

I'm barely on it.

Dave's a good show.

Yeah, I don't.

Because, you know. We may never come back, though.
That show might be gone. Ike Baranold's on yesterday on Tiger Belly.
He talked about you. He's like, dude, your buddy Andrew is killing it on that show.
I love that show. That last episode was amazing.
That's nice. It's also like there is a lot of noise and I don't know what young people like.
I don't I'm interested I don't know what kids watch they like podcasts TikTok TikTok TikTok and podcasts they're on the internet they like the internet dude if I go to In-N-Out at one in the morning I'm like Elvis in there yeah hey bro every fucking time you go to In-N-Out how much though now? how often three or four times a week are we really going that much? Yeah Kiddo, we gotta cool it off

I love the Hey Bros though, dude

That's a lot, man

Yeah, yeah, yeah

I know, you know what?

But you know, at my age, I feel fine

Yeah, you lift your leg

My back hurts, my right arm is tingling

You lose feeling in your limbs all the time

Yeah, yeah, but I'm fine

Yeah, I guess that is totally fine

Yeah, that's good, I'm happy

What does it really mean?

Numbness in the right arm

Nerve damage, herniated disc, and a stroke

Oh, shit

Stroke is the only one that's the. I'm happy.
What does it really mean, numbness in the right arm? Nerve damage, herniated disc, and a stroke. Oh, shit.
Stroke is the only one that's the most real. That one, I'm scared.
I didn't say numbness. I said tingling.
Okay, look up fucking tingling, Carlos. I know.
I looked up tingling, and it says you should call a doctor right away. Oh, okay.
If you have numbness in your arms, dizziness, trouble with coordination, discolored skin. I feel that.
I feel it. What do they think that is? A stroke? Circulation, probably.
Circulation. Herniated disc.
Yeah. Herniated disc? I think it'd be nerve damage.
I have nerve damage. I wasn't numb.
You're still there. Fucking Agent Orange.
I'll tear you. You're still there.
Napalm, all that shit. Fucks me up.
Agent Orange is a good name for me. Yeah.
I'm Agent Orange. Yeah.
He's the moon king in Agent Orange. The moon king in Agent Orange.
Dude. That is actually.
That's our movie, dude. Yeah.
The moon king in Agent Orange. Sounds like a Wes Anderson film.
Hey, Yana, so if Andrew, because Andrew and I are going to do a movie eventually here. We are.
Would you be in it? Yeah. Dude, how great would he be in it? Yeah, but what would he play? Like a UPS driver or something.
All right, let's see him give it a whirl. Yeah.
Go ahead, let's see. Yeah.
Hey. Hey.
Hey. Get out of the road.
Sorry about that, man. Sorry, man.
Hey, you're walking your face in the road. Yeah, yeah.
Get him out of the road. I'm trying to drive.
Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy.
Get him out. All right.
Sorry about that. Sorry about that.
I got fucking packages to deliver out of it. Do you have any packages for us? No.
I got a package right here, pal. Get your fucking Asian out of the road.
This guy's hired. I love your iron.
Yeah. I got your package right here.
Get your fucking Asian out of the road. That's the name of the movie.
Get your Asian out of the road. Throw mama off the train.
He's going to be upset. We gave the role to Bobby Kelly.
It's okay. Sorry, man.
It's all right. It doesn't pay anything anyway.
Yeah, it does. It was a million bucks.
It was a million bucks. My dream is that eventually we could all do.
I just think, honestly, the ones that want to act, we should do fucking like a ensemble cast movie. Do you want to act with podcasts I would act I want to act in something like that yeah I don't like waiting around and doing like I like with comedians you're still gonna wait around yeah the shots that we have to do you know what I mean but we'd still be having fun you know yeah yeah yeah and also it'll be funny when you give comedians something funny.
Like look, this is funny. Yeah.
There's no other people who don't do comedy involved in this. Yeah, that's true.
We should try it. Yeah, why don't we all pool our money and make a movie? Well, some of us have a bigger pool.
Some of us, yeah, that's a problem. Bobby's got a big pool.
I got a big pool. Well, yeah, I mean, we could do a movie.
I mean, the new movie. I'll throw in 10 bucks.

Okay.

Yeah.

I'm in.

I'm in.

I'm saying I'm in.

I'm in.

I want in.

I think if everyone threw in 10 grand.

Yeah.

Right.

And we got like,

no,

we need more.

To make a movie is so expensive. No,

no.

I mean,

50K each,

50K each.

This has gone way too high.

Let's go back down to 10.

Yeah,

let's go to 10.

10,

10, 10, but then we get funding from, you know what I mean? Well, let's shoot it on iPhones. Okay.
Why not? Yes. Shoot it on iPhones.
What are you shaking your head at? They shoot 30 frames. Yeah.
Yeah. As long as you guys make it funny, it'll be good.
Yeah. And you think you're going to direct it, piece of shit? Or is McCone going to direct it? Probably McCone at this point.
Oh. Oh, shit.
No, no, no. We want you back, Fancy.
Sorry about that. What would it be? You guys, Cops? Like a sort of a buddy cop movie? You know, it used to be the black guy, white guy, but now it's like the white guy and the Asian.
No, he's going to be Derek Chauvin. And I'm going to play the Asian other guy, officer that was like, you know what I mean? Man on the run.
And who's going to play George Floyd? You're going gonna play George Floyd you can play George Floyd Giannis we love you thank you so much for being on the show do you have any dates yeah just go to giannispappascomedy.com the boys in the studio will put the link in the description below.

GiannisPapasComedy.com.

That's it for us.

Bobby?

Yeah!

Let's do it!

Thank you for being a bad friend.

You Spanish piece of garbage.

You dirty little foreigner.

I'm doing his movie podcast tomorrow.

Who?

His? Yeah. See, you're finagling.
You know what you're doing? is yeah see you're finagling you know what you're doing finagling not finagling i don't even know he's poaching we're using our guys we should you know what you know what he's done dude we're on the same page not only have you utilized you utilize our contacts now because of your association you think my favorite person hasn't done it yet these people and to go, I'm friends with Andrew and Bobby and you're doing this for me.

And it's like, you're a fucking little Spanish

strong-arm stung-man.

Giannis, don't do it tomorrow.

Don't do it.

You know what? You're busy tomorrow.

I am busy.

You're from out of town, you're plugging that movie

you're doing, right?

I was just trying to be nice and say yes.

My favorite comedian is doing it soon.

He is very busy today. My favorite comedian.
Who? Who is it? Andrew Santino. Have you done it yet? No.
I keep putting it off. Don't do it.
I keep putting it off. Please don't do it.
He has to do it. You did it.
You did it. You did it as a community service.
Both of you. Thank you.
Well, then you know what? That's it. You did it for us.
We already got one in. Do not have him do it, dude.
I draw the line there.

No, because I want to see who does better.

That's disgusting.

Can we do it now?

Let's have some fun.

Woo-hoo, yeah, woo-hoo, yeah, woo-hoo, yeah, woo-hoo Yeah Woo-hoo

Yeah