Moon King & Agent Orange w/ Yannis Pappas

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Speaker 2 You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 2 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 2 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 2 We're bad friends.

Speaker 2 Oh, no. Introduce our guest.

Speaker 2 Yannis. Papaluno.
The Greek. The Greek.
God. God.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's a benefit that there's not a lot of Greeks because people always just refer to your ethnicity when there's only like three Greeks.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but you're the Greek. You're the in comedy, you're the Greek.
Oh, that's not Stavros. Stavros.
Stavros is

Speaker 2 he's a bigger Greek than you.

Speaker 2 He's a better Greek. He's bigger than you.
Well, you're a bigger, physically, bigger Greek than you. Bigger career, bigger body.
No, dude. To me, you're my number one Greek.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 I appreciate it. He goes Euros than you.

Speaker 2 You know what goes? That's that sizzling cheese. Oh, yeah, that's

Speaker 2 Saganaki. Which sounds Japanese.
It does. Hey, buddy.
Stav.

Speaker 2 Stav.

Speaker 2 Stavi. Yeah.
Can you hear me? Hey, sweetheart.

Speaker 2 We're on the podcast right now. I know I'm putting you on blast a little bit, but there's a Greek guy in here who thinks he's the superior Greek of comedy.
Giannis Papas, he's talking crazy shit.

Speaker 2 You got anything?

Speaker 2 Is he in there? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 Are you guys trying to foment anti-Greek

Speaker 3 trying to sow division in our ranks? Because I'm not good. I need to hear from his voice first before I'm going to trust your mongrel redhead.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You're a mongrel, dude.
You know, you know what kind of pieces you should.

Speaker 2 We're trying to stir something up. You know he's not talking shit.

Speaker 2 We're strong. We stand back to back.

Speaker 3 We know better than to fall for the fake Irish and Korean menace.

Speaker 2 All right. We love you.
Sorry. Sorry.
We're sorry. I'm sorry.
We didn't want to create a divide.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 3 Apologies.

Speaker 3 I'm actually, this is pretty funny. You can hear the echo.
I'm actually shitting.

Speaker 2 I know you're shitting. I know you're shitting.
I'll see you tomorrow. See you tomorrow.
Bye, babe.

Speaker 2 I just picture stop shitting like all day. He shits all day.
All day, shit. Let me tell you something.
I did his podcast.

Speaker 2 He said he shit before. And then, right when I got there, we had some downtime because they were trying to get a green screen right.
Had to shit again. Yeah.
Before we even rolled.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he probably eats three times, four times shits a day. He's so fat now? He's a big guy.
Okay, relax as you stuff your fucking

Speaker 2 mouth.

Speaker 2 Oh, here's what power.

Speaker 2 Here's the thing. It is very easy to divide Greeks, by the way.
Well, I assumed I would throw something out there and see how it was.

Speaker 2 He really upheld the Greek heritage. We were never unified.
We never had an empire. We were always city-states.
We were always fighting with each other. Yeah, you guys were never a...
There was no...

Speaker 2 There's no semblance of nationalism there, huh? No,

Speaker 2 we fought over boys. Also, and you guys have given away your whole country together.
We have landlift so much. Yeah, we do.
You've given away your whole country to tourism anyway. We have.

Speaker 2 You guys are fucking sellouts. You're huge sellouts.
Huge. I mean, the Germans invaded us and now they walk around our beaches with no, like...
Yeah, little mankinies on. Little mankinies.

Speaker 2 Why do they wear those?

Speaker 2 Why is that okay? Because of the Holocaust?

Speaker 2 I see the direct correlation. You see it, right?

Speaker 2 I did the math real quick. Yeah,

Speaker 2 they're allowed to do that because of all the past things that they've done. Yeah.
We're going to watch around the beaches of Greece with our friends and just show off our little tiny packages. Yeah,

Speaker 2 they don't have big ones. No, they they don't.
No, the Germans don't. They have big guts.
They have bigger dicks than me.

Speaker 2 Can I tell you something?

Speaker 2 Watching you eat that burger gives me unbelievable joy.

Speaker 2 I love it.

Speaker 2 This is the second time I've done this show and both times you were eating burgers.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the last time you came from the airport and you didn't eat and you had a burger. Oh, yeah.
You had an in-out burger. You asked me before why you eat burgers.
I said, because you have a bad diet.

Speaker 2 And then I said, because we're in L.A. And you said those were both true.
But you said the third reason was because you were rude.

Speaker 2 I'm not.

Speaker 2 I'm not. No.
Take your time. You know what's funny, Donnis?

Speaker 2 You and Paul Veersey, right? Yeah. Veersey.
Paul Viersey. Whatever.
Yeah. Every time I go, you get dogs.
Oh, come to our house. Every time I'm in New York, I text you guys, I call you guys, no invite.

Speaker 2 There's no truth to that. There's got to be no truth.
There's one invitation. 100%.
Are you calling him a liar? There's no invite. Are you calling him a liar?

Speaker 2 Do you think for one second he follows up and calls and says and wants to come up there look at me in the face and say you do yeah i do i believe him you believe him you're lying wait i want to do that to me i want to see the lie i want to see how good you do it all right look can i have to look on the ground real quick no you can't look at the ground no you have to stare in his face don't look away okay go wait so did you call you call all the time and you say that you want to come up and follow up not you necessarily parse but paul breezes

Speaker 2 well that's not true either because i go paul i go paul first of all it's not his name second i'm in town yeah i'm gonna come to the woods.

Speaker 2 I'm in Jersey. Yeah.
I love that he says parse. He doesn't know it's per se.
Yeah. He thinks it's parse.

Speaker 2 It is what it is. It is exactly what I'm doing.
And I'm tired of people correcting your fucking English. Well, go back to your country then and speak your own language.
Yeah. I'm trying to.

Speaker 2 They won't accept me back. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't want you here. Ladies do.
I do personally, but you don't. Anyway, anyway, so, you know, it's like, don't do the invite then.
Right. Greek.
Right.

Speaker 2 Right. Greek hairy bastard.

Speaker 2 Yes, that's right. Gyro head.
Gyro head. But when I, you know, I, when I came around the corner, I saw you.
I get so excited to see. I really do love you so much.
I feel like we're family.

Speaker 2 Let's give it up for our guest, Giannis Papa City Studio.

Speaker 2 Why not? The Jan Pop, the Jan Pop, the Yan Pop. Me too.
I feel like we're family. I mean, it's like.
Do you really? Yeah. No chance.
Like, if I die, honestly, let's just go there. First of all,

Speaker 2 who's going to go to your funeral? Who's going to go to your funeral, Giannis? Bobby or I? I feel more like Bobby's family than you you because I speak more to you and I'm estranged to Bobby.

Speaker 2 So that kind of reminds me. That reminds me of my own brother.
Right, right, right. Yeah.
He's cold.

Speaker 2 That feels more like he's more formal.

Speaker 2 What do you mean? What do you mean? I text him. He doesn't respond.
That's so outrageous. You're more family than me.
It's so outrageous. He's a friend.
Yeah. I'm a real friend.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I can choose him. I'm stuck with you.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 So let me ask you something, Yanyan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So there's no love here. There's.

Speaker 2 I mean, you're closer to Andrew than you are to me. There's like here, there's love here.

Speaker 2 That feels better. Yeah, which means I would.
Whatever works for you, baby. Yeah, it feels better.
There's a better chance I'll kill you than him.

Speaker 2 The people who are in your family are usually the ones who kill you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's interesting. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm going to tell you something, my friend. I don't know if you could.

Speaker 2 Did your phone just go off? Does someone have a rotary phone?

Speaker 2 No, who honestly? Whose phone went off? Yep, dude. Whose phone went off? Wasn't me.

Speaker 2 Whose phone went off? Be real. Be real right now.
Yes, there's no now consequences. Get the paddle out.
I will never betray Carlos.

Speaker 2 Carlos, was it your phone? No, it was me. I'll tell you why.
No, it was me. It was me.
It was me. I could.
To be real? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Interesting. Interesting.
Interesting. Interesting.
Interesting. Don't ever do that again.
No, no, no.

Speaker 2 I think it's worse than that.

Speaker 2 I think you need to go outside. You're fired.
You're a fire. I want you to sit in the parking lot for the rest of the episode.
No, I want to say, go outside though. Go outside.

Speaker 2 We don't want to see you for 10 minutes. I want you to think about what you did.
Yeah. It even had the ring had an accent.

Speaker 2 yeah it did huh it's that barcelona so i'm you're in get him up here you scumbag you're in town i'm obviously in town bobby i'm in the room do what yeah dude you're so combative right now no i just don't know what's going on you're just making conversation whereas he has real questions

Speaker 2 What did he say? What did you ask? You think I'm doing small talk. I think you're doing fake small talk.
Do big talk right now. Yeah, do big talk.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, what's the meaning of the universe?

Speaker 2 ask me what am i what chakra i'm on right now i'm on a high chakra i'm not operating on lower chakras anymore i'm not operating on lower chakras is that good talk or what yeah it's good to me yeah yeah i think it's good talk i feel like you i feel like you do operate on a surface you're a very surface level yeah how often do you get down there down to the ground down underneath inside inside i've been down there for too long and now i found the light i crawled out and guess what it's the fucking white telling me to go back in the fucking hole And I refuse to do it.

Speaker 2 First of all. I tell that right now.
We're not the same kind of white. We're not ditch with white.
We're still white.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Oh, so you're saying.
Different shades of white. We're different white.
And you're a different shade of white too, buddy. Oh, you think so? You're as white as fucking me.

Speaker 2 When you wear yellow, it brings out the white. I can't even see you.
It's like when a news guy on the green screen doing the weather is wearing a green shirt. I can't even see you right now.

Speaker 2 You know that new

Speaker 2 teeth?

Speaker 2 That's just a little bit of a turning point. When you put purple on it, when you have yellow teeth, it turns white.
Yeah. So that's what I'm going to do with my body.

Speaker 2 When your shirts are yellow, you think... You know, I'm going to go purple.
Well, you look more white now when you wear yellow. Yeah, because here's the thing.
I don't understand.

Speaker 2 How did that become a stereotype that Asians are yellow? They're not yellow. They're white.
No, but it's the undertone of their skin is yellow. Is it?

Speaker 2 Yeah, look, I mean, look at, I'm like a, I'm a red hue. Yeah, but I see yellow in your skin.
I know, I'm close. We're brothers.
We're brothers. Oh, that's what you're saying? Yes.

Speaker 2 So then you're a yellow goo. Yes! Thank you.
I'm from an island. You're from an island.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 We're all the same. We're all connected.
So you're allowed to say it on a count of three. God.
I just say the G-word, right?

Speaker 2 Right? One, two, three. Gargantuan.
I'm not saying it.

Speaker 2 It's a trap. It was a trap.

Speaker 2 Oh, you're right.

Speaker 2 But at the end of the day, too, I think that we're a different species. I think we're comedians.
I think comedians are a tribe into themselves. Absolutely.

Speaker 2 Now, but if there was just a society of just comedians, what would happen?

Speaker 2 What do you mean? What would get done if everyone got wiped out but comics? What would happen? Well, we wouldn't have electricity. No electricity, no running water.
No, no. No.

Speaker 2 No sewage system. Yeah, there'd be a lot of fucking.
So a lot of, like, a lot, like, over, like, uh, overproduction of human beings. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But nothing logical.

Speaker 2 And then we would go to like Vaughn's or grocery store and we'd be like, oh, fuck, Stavros was just here. It's empty.

Speaker 2 Right?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Have a life like that.

Speaker 2 What's some good ones for whites? See, that's the thing. We never came up with, you know, when you you say cracker, that's, I love crackers.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 What kind of crackers? Even like the plain ones, like the saltine ones.

Speaker 2 But still, they're good. If you put peanut butter in it, it's delicious.
Yeah, they're only good with something else. The point is, it's not good alone.
Yeah, but it's very like, but you know what?

Speaker 2 I bet you this. Like, I like crackers in groups.
Like, when crackers are grouped together,

Speaker 2 like, you know, at the Capitol or something, then I think they're viable and they're worth something.

Speaker 2 Individual crackers are worth nothing. Yeah.
But if you take a bunch of crackers together and you put them out in a field at night

Speaker 2 and they're chanting and they have torches, then I like that. I love it when crackers have torches.
Those are better crackers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Otherwise, right out of the box, one-on-one, they're not that good.

Speaker 2 I like them in groups, too. Yeah, groups of crackers.
That's what I literally like. But like in Japanese internment camps, I bet you money, if you go, you want a cracker, they would love it.

Speaker 2 Just a dry cracker. Yeah, because they didn't have any.
Yeah. They would say anything.
Bingo, my point. Okay, you're right.
When you're hungry, you love it. When you're hungry, you love it.
Crackers.

Speaker 2 That's our story. My point is that's...
And then white devil, does that feel bad? That's not that great either. I like it.
What does the white devil look like, by the way?

Speaker 2 When they say white devil, what does he look like? Zuckerberg. You think Mark Zuckerberg is white devil?

Speaker 2 They're handsome. It's like an Abercrombie ad.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 That is like models. Yeah, that doesn't matter.
The White Devil. Yeah, no, that's not a shot.
Hockey's a funny one. Honky.
Honky. Yeah, Honky.
Yeah, honky is a funny one, too.

Speaker 2 Like, it's like black people making fun of our rhythm. Like, honky, honky.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? Like you're honking something.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Yeah, there isn't one, so let's come up with one now that will hurt your feelings. Go on.
All right. What do we go on? We're doing it as a think tank.

Speaker 2 Come face. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Come face. Load.

Speaker 2 Jizkin. Jizkin.
Jizkin, no. Jizkin? Yeah.
Yeah. Jizkin sounds like a club in New York in the 80s.

Speaker 2 Sounds like my lawyer. Mark Jizkin.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So Jizkin doesn't work.
What else?

Speaker 2 By the way, what a nightclub in the 80s. What? Come on down to Jizzkin.

Speaker 2 And that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 Andy's. Andy Warhol's there.

Speaker 2 Basquiat will be there. One night only.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know how sad it would be if a guy like that was still alive today? Would he be selling out? You better believe it. Oh, Basquiat.
Basquiat. 100%.
For sure. He'd be selling out like fucking crazy.

Speaker 2 He'd have married to a white guy, a girl. Absolutely.
White girl for sure. Yeah.
100%.

Speaker 2 And who would he be making clothes for? What company? Oh,

Speaker 2 Gap. You think Gap?

Speaker 2 I was going to say Hugo Boss would buy him out in a heartbeat. Because Hugo Boss has that kind of like...

Speaker 2 They're halfway in the... You know, they're designer, but they try to look like regular clothes.
Do you know what I mean? Right.

Speaker 2 They would have like Basquiat versions of Hugo Boss shirts. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 They're just enough in the designer world, but they're like pretending to still have regular shit. Started by the Nazi.
They were Nazi. They made the Nazi uniforms.
Whoa. We know.

Speaker 2 Why do you always have to bring it to that? All the good stuff was. I know.
But, you know. Yeah, Hugo Boss, he he was actually,

Speaker 2 they made the Nazi uniform. They did make the Nazi uniforms.

Speaker 2 Can I tell you something? And they look good. They had my suit at my wedding.
Yeah. Hugo Boss.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 They make great suits. Yeah.
These guys make a suit. Look at that.
That was me at my wedding. Yeah.
Dude, those are so nice. That's me and my line.
That's me and my girl. That's my line.

Speaker 2 When I did an IBM commercial in the 90s, I remember comic goes, why are you doing commercial for IBM?

Speaker 2 They worked, you know, in the Holocaust. They did the numbers.

Speaker 2 IBM figured a way to trap the numbers.

Speaker 2 Shut up. I swear to God.
This is a bit. No, he was really mad about it.
They're all ones and zeros.

Speaker 2 Google it.

Speaker 2 Does IBM and the Holocaust? I've never heard this in my IBM and the Holocaust, the Strategic Alliance. They were involved.

Speaker 2 They were involved, right? And so I'm like, yeah, but I live out of my car, fuckface. Volkswagen.
I'm doing it. Volkswagen? The People's Wagon.
Wait, wait, they did it too? Volkswagen.

Speaker 2 Well, Mercedes made the tanks. Mercedes, too.
Yeah, Mercedes made the tanks. Do you think, though, like, two jobs Germans should not be allowed to do ever is baker and train conductor?

Speaker 2 Should be illegal, right? It would be illegal. For the rest of infinity.
What about

Speaker 2 a gay German train conductor, though? Is that redundant?

Speaker 2 Because a little gay guy at the front of it, like a little gay German, like, choo-choo, chugging along. Stand clear of the closing doors.
Tickets, please.

Speaker 2 Stand clear of the closing doors unless you want to stop for a minute and dance, dance, dance.

Speaker 2 They pull the train over. Dance party, dance party.
Yeah, I just feel like

Speaker 2 if a Jewish person's on the train and they hear that voice, I think they'll have intergenerational trauma. That's true.
It's intergenerational trauma. All right.

Speaker 2 Today, I was on TikTok, and they said that the Statue of Liberty, right,

Speaker 2 is actually a Satan

Speaker 2 Lucifer, a Lucifer homage to him. Wait a minute.
A Lucifer homage.

Speaker 2 To him? Who? Lucifer. So a Lucifer.
An homage

Speaker 2 to Lucifer. Yeah, you said that like a dyslexic person.

Speaker 2 I don't know. The sentence was backwards.
Please sorry.

Speaker 2 You think the French gave us the Statue of Liberty as an iconic symbol of Satan? Yes. Look at that.
Because of the horns? I mean,

Speaker 2 the little stick. It's a crown.
The crown, yeah, the little stick. You're right? Right.
And the torture. I don't know.
I just, I don't know. I don't know.
No, no. I'm not sure you brought it up.

Speaker 2 No, no, no. Yeah, that's all right.
Let's decode this. I fucked it up.

Speaker 2 Let's decode this. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Let's try to figure this out. It looks like it's a good conspiracy theory.
Oh, no fucking. No, but like, there we go.
Here we go. This is what it is.

Speaker 2 It looks like it's a conspiracy theory. Like what it's taking me to on the internet.
Pause for a second. What is the history channel?

Speaker 2 This is the history channel. That's not going to be on.
That's not going to be on. There it is.
Here we go. This is what I'm talking about.
Let's hear. It is actually a statue dedicated to Lucifer.

Speaker 2 Left is a painting made in the 17th century. Wow.
Known as Satan summoning his legion. I'm in.

Speaker 2 Now, the devil's original name in the Bible was known as Lucifer, or in Hebrew, Helel, which means the light bearer or the bringer of light. Well,

Speaker 2 it's holding a torch, it's bearing the light. Amen.
Now, the Statue of Liberty looks awfully similar to the Colossus of Rhodes. The Colossus of Rhodes was one of the ancient wonders of the world.

Speaker 2 It was a bronze Greek statue. It was about 108 feet tall.

Speaker 2 There it is right there. We're in a diaper.

Speaker 2 This statue was dedicated to the Greek god Helios, the god of the sun, the god of the light. In fact, many Luciferians refer to the devil as the great light.

Speaker 2 This painting of Satan summoning his legion looks oddly similar to the face of the Statue of Liberty.

Speaker 3 I mean, take a look.

Speaker 2 Looks pretty similar to me.

Speaker 2 Come in! I'm not telling you! Because he let in all those damn immigrants! Only Satan would do that! Why?

Speaker 2 Bring me your tired, you're weak,

Speaker 2 you're starving, you're Italian,

Speaker 2 you're Greeks,

Speaker 2 you're Romanians, Kiss the ground at my feet.

Speaker 2 Work three jobs.

Speaker 2 Have more babies. I was tired when I saw it.
America!

Speaker 2 I'm down with that thing. Are you down with that theory? 100%.
It's not a theory. That seems facts.
He proved it. First of all, the most defining thing.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 They do look alike.

Speaker 2 That was the one that got me. Yeah, they look alike.
When he said, yeah, it looks pretty close to me

Speaker 2 is when I was convinced.

Speaker 2 I got lost around when he went to Helios. I was like, where are we? Well, see, he didn't even include Helios.
The beginning was fine enough because Lucifer in Hebrew is the bearer of light.

Speaker 2 He could have stuck with that at the beginning. Go click at the beginning.
Don't press play. Just click back in the frames.
So this could have sold me. Helios really fucked up his whole argument.

Speaker 2 Right. Right.
Because this does look alike. The schnaz is the exact same.
That looks like an Italiano Schnaz. Right.
I know, but the one to the left is the first thing.

Speaker 2 And you know, Lucifer was Italian. Lucifer.
Lucifer.

Speaker 2 Lucifer. Lucifer.
Lucifario.

Speaker 2 Yes. So this looks like an Italian schnaz.
And you know what he's holding up? What? Papers. His wife served him papers.
This fucking bitch gave me fucking papers.

Speaker 2 It's my house, bitch. Okay.
Yeah, he. I'm wrong then.
No, well, I think right and wrong. At the beginning, I think he was right.

Speaker 2 And then Helios threw us all off. I think he just gave wrong reasoning, but at the beginning, that's all he needed.
Carlos, email this guy. Tell him that we're halfway in.

Speaker 2 Just cut the Helios part and then he can put it back up. All right, done.
We'll use it on the show.

Speaker 2 Who are these people sitting around making these videos? This guy.

Speaker 2 Who this guy is? Who has time to just be like, I got it figured out? That guy looks like Nadav from your mom's house.

Speaker 2 It's one of those producers.

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I'm a moon god.

Speaker 2 Somehow

Speaker 2 you know. You are.
I'm the moon god. Do you know why? Why? Because the sun is harmful and strong and powerful, and the moon is sneaky and fat and makes me feel good.

Speaker 2 And you are those things. You know what's so funny? You said those things to offend me.
Didn't no, I didn't say it to me.

Speaker 2 It did the opposite, my friend. It only encouraged my narrative.
I wasn't trying to offend you. And I am moon.
And I am sneaky. You are.
And I am fat. And I am creepy.
And I am older.

Speaker 2 No, I said sneaky nasty. Whatever, whatever.
Whatever you imply, I am those things. And I'm not going to deny it.
And guess what, dude? When the day comes

Speaker 2 and there's a fucking,

Speaker 2 you'll have a revelation.

Speaker 2 Go on. Yeah.

Speaker 2 The moon will rise. And when the moon rises, right? I will have my fucking revenge under the people on the earth.

Speaker 2 And you're going to be on number one, man. Wow.

Speaker 2 You roll with the sun god? Not me, dude. I 100% roll with the sun god.
I know you do. I'm moon.
So you take it. And you too.

Speaker 2 Watch your words right now, my friend. I roll.
Because when the revelation happens? The revelation? Yes.

Speaker 2 There will be a revelation. Let him do it.

Speaker 2 There will be a revelation. Okay.
And when it happens, dude, you'll be in the bottom, dude. Who are you? You can sync with the fucking.
You know who he is.

Speaker 2 He's a little dipper, this guy. I'm the little dipper.
He's 100% the little dipper. I'm a bunch of stars.
I'm a constellation. He's a constellation.
Yeah. They don't even exist.

Speaker 2 Actually, in all constellations,

Speaker 2 you would be the little dipper. You are absolutely the little dipper.
Fuck you, dude. You're 100% a little dipper.
I'm the moon dog.

Speaker 2 You're a little dipper. The moon dog.
And

Speaker 2 I'm Osiris.

Speaker 2 You're Osiris? Yeah. Osiris, the arrow guy.
Right? Yeah. Yeah.
What are you then? He's the big dipper. I'm the big dipper.
Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay. We'll have a war, right?

Speaker 2 They're not even.

Speaker 2 They don't even exist. Well, no.
The moon does. No, no, no.
The stars definitely exist. No, they know.
You see them because they imploded.

Speaker 2 Some of them

Speaker 2 are gone. Aren't all fucking stars imploded? No.
No, dude. What? No, you're just looking back in.
You're looking back in time. Back in time because it takes that long for the light to travel to you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but the reason why they're lights because they exploded. No, not necessarily.
Okay, Google that because now I'm looking for you new. Yeah, I gotta tell you, you're never gonna outsmart this guy.

Speaker 2 It's gonna be a bad road if you go up against it. You know what's funny when they do those constellations? He's very smart.
And they go,

Speaker 2 they go like, this is Osiris, and you're going, that's a stretch. It's like four dots, and then they build a man around it.
You're like,

Speaker 2 that's not. Most of the stars that make up our constellations are just like the sun.
They won't ever explode. Only the massive stars in the event.
Oh, but they're suns.

Speaker 2 They're all stars. They're all stars.
The sun is a star. The sun's a star.
Prove my point? Dude, are you shooting?

Speaker 2 Scumbag.

Speaker 2 That was so tricky. Yeah, and you're wrong.
It's not a planet though. But I'm going to let you get away with it.

Speaker 2 It's not a planetathon. No, and the explodings are supernovas.
You're right. They explode and we see them die.
Okay.

Speaker 2 But I'm still the moon though. Supernova.

Speaker 2 What's the best wish? You know, you wish on a shooting star? What's the greatest wish you made that never came true? Because I know you made one. The biggest wish that I never came true.

Speaker 2 Like, everyone's wished on a shooting star. You have.
You've seen one. Well, there's a fountain at the mall where I grew up, and it owes me probably 3,000 pennies.

Speaker 2 Do you know how much money that is? I don't, no. You don't know how much 3,000 pennies comes out to? Get my abacus.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 You really don't know? It's $30.

Speaker 2 $30. It owes only $30 because I did one wish.
And it never happened. What was it?

Speaker 2 What? It was that I would marry a specific girl in my neighborhood. What was her name? I can't because she's a big Bad Friends fan now.
Oh, used to throw pennies in the pony.

Speaker 2 And nothing ever happened. And she never fell in love with you.
No, but then I was playing the American Comedy Company. You know, that one in San Diego? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Maybe five years ago or six years ago. And she came with this other girl.
It's so funny because this other girl.

Speaker 2 So there was.

Speaker 2 I don't want to say her name either, but. Don't.

Speaker 2 During graduation, right? Yeah. I was with a bunch of guys.
Sounds right. And she comes up to all of us.
She goes, hey, all right, so, Craig, I'll see you in two weeks.

Speaker 2 We're going to go to that thing. And then, hey, Mark, you know, make sure your sister calls me because we're going to do that thing, right?

Speaker 2 And she looks at me and she goes, I'll see you in 12, 10 years. Wow.
To be. Yeah,

Speaker 2 at the reunion. That's why I never went.
Right.

Speaker 2 Because I didn't want to fulfill. I didn't want to fulfill it.
Did you go to your high school reunion? I did go to one.

Speaker 2 To 10? I went to the 10 or the 15, yeah.

Speaker 2 They do fives? I thought it was only

Speaker 2 domination. I went to an odd number school.
Oh, yeah. So I think I went to the 13-year.
Okay. Yeah.
Did you really go?

Speaker 2 I wouldn't know who you were then. Oh, dude, I was the most popular kid around.
Yeah, I was a popular kid. What a fall from grace.
Yeah, I really.

Speaker 2 I've really, it's been all downhill. Yeah, yeah.
No, you were Mr. Popular.
I was Albion. So you went back for the 10-year and people were like, Giannis is here.

Speaker 2 And the 15-year, it was like, oh, Giannis is here. Yeah, Giannis is here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, are they still doing them? I think they still do them.
I don't know. Yeah.
Would you go now or no?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'd go now. You know what's fucking crazy? I didn't go to mine.
I have no chance. But what's even more fucked up is I was home during the last reunion.

Speaker 2 And I was literally in Chicago, but I was in for the night to go to this thing. And then I was leaving that night.
Yeah. So I could have gone.

Speaker 2 I was already all the way across the country. And I still was like, I can't fucking do it.
Why?

Speaker 2 I just don't, I don't have, my friends that were from high school are my homies. That's my, I know who, that's, I got a click.
And that's it. You're still friends with them?

Speaker 2 The chunk. There's a couple of my homies.
Yeah. There's a bunch of my like good, good people that I still talk to, you know, but it's like a handful of people.
Yeah. But they did it combined.

Speaker 2 So there's two schools out by me. They're both the same size.
And they did them as one. Yeah.
Wow.

Speaker 2 And I, because some of the kids I grew up with went to the other school and then some went to my school.

Speaker 2 And I felt bad because I thought, man, maybe I should have fucking gone just to see what what everyone looked like now. That's really what they're for, right? See what we

Speaker 2 judge everybody. To just see if people, who fell apart and who didn't.
I would just want to see some people, what they look like now. Right.
But if I do go to mine, I'm going to wear a fur coat. Yeah.

Speaker 2 No shirt. No shirt underneath.

Speaker 2 You clean up a little bit, you mean? No, I would look really crazy. Why?

Speaker 2 How do you increase that? How do you crazy up crazy?

Speaker 2 No, just look. I wear American like American flag tight pants.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? No shirt.
Yeah. Fur coat.

Speaker 2 I would dare you to wear all MAGA gear.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's so good. Well, you'd fit right in in San Diego.

Speaker 2 They'd be like, finally.

Speaker 2 You fucking came around. But you sell insurance?

Speaker 2 But the truth is, when we played San Diego, my guy friends from high school came to the show. Do you remember that? They were all awesome.
And they're all nice guys. I know.
I'm teasing.

Speaker 2 I love San Diego. Okay.
It's a great job. No, I'm just saying, I don't need to go to the reunion because I think that the people that I want to see anyway are the people I'm in contact with.

Speaker 2 That's what I was saying. My homies are the closest that I.
It'd be nice to see a few people that I haven't seen in a long time. Yeah.
But I don't know. It was weird for, I don't know.

Speaker 2 They got to let you know who's going, too. You can't just show up and then show me the RSVP.
There's no four people there. I need to know who's going.
Oh, you show up and well, you can peek.

Speaker 2 You could show up, peek. No.
And then, oh, there's only three people. And someone would see you there.
Yeah, I mean, you're already there at that point. You got to do it.

Speaker 2 Oh, I'm a sneaky peek right there. Yeah.
You were big time sneaker. That's why you're the moon dog.
You're the moon dog.

Speaker 2 Moondog. Moondog.
Moondog. Look at this.
This is you, sneaky peek. What I did when I was a kid, it's a true story: is I masturbated with Vic's vapor rough.

Speaker 2 The most painful thing probably

Speaker 2 was wild. It was so painful.
Vapor rough. Why did I do it? I don't know.

Speaker 2 I can't give you a good reason why I did it. It was curiosity, but I did do it.
And more than once or just once?

Speaker 2 One time. You don't do that two times.
You might, though. I've done it six times.

Speaker 2 I'll tell you why. Because you forget.
Yeah. But we did it with tiger bombs.
No. You learned by the six times.
I learned the first time. Right.
No, but you do it as a kid.

Speaker 2 My brother and I did it, Steve. Yeah.
We must have been in middle school. Yeah.
It was the most painful human fucking day. It was crazy.
Never crazy.

Speaker 2 But then when we were like in 19, 20, we go, do you remember? It couldn't have been as painful as we thought it was. Oh, so you did it.
And then we did it again.

Speaker 2 Every six years,

Speaker 2 we repeat the fucking behavior. Wow.
But I'm telling you, I won't do it again, probably not.

Speaker 2 I've never put anything. See, the thing is, it starts off great.
Like before it kicks in. It's so cool.
Yeah, before it kicks in, you're like, holy, this is what I thought it was going to be.

Speaker 2 It's awesome. Because I thought it was just going to have a little tinge to it.
I thought it was going to have a little burnt. No.
I thought it was going to give it a little something extra. Uh-uh.

Speaker 2 But it's a hot sauce for your day. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it keeps. You should try that on our show.

Speaker 2 You should do it. Yeah.
Yeah, let's try it on the show. Yeah.
Let's see what happens. It's got to hurt so bad.
It hurts so bad. It was bad.
Can we use Tiger Bomb, though? That was a little worse.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I know. Please, Tiger Bomb.
So bad. That would be funny if you guys did that under the table and just tried to continue to do the podcast.
Yeah. That's like when you're doing it.
Patreon.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's the best. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 That's why when you get a little bit of soap in your tip, it hurts so much.

Speaker 2 Carlos,

Speaker 2 any new Glory Hole stories? Have you been

Speaker 2 ducking in and out of somewhere shady lately? No.

Speaker 2 Actually, I did something that Bobby said I couldn't do. What? I adopted a dog.
He said I wasn't responsible. You seriously adopted a dog? Yeah.
And Bobby told me...

Speaker 2 You've been holding this the whole show? Yeah,

Speaker 2 of course. Giannis is here.
He's alive. Let me see a photo of him.
I'll put him up on the screen. Why is he not responsible? This guy? Yeah, he's not.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they think I can't take care of a dog. who the fuck is they don't throw me in there

Speaker 2 it was bobby but you know what happened is who had to vouch for you i re yeah i reached out to the rescue and kalila calls me lovely very nice and she goes hey this rescue just got your application i know them meant to be

Speaker 2 so now kalila can take care of the dog that's not what she said to me what'd she say to you i'm gonna call kalila right now she said did she recommend you yes i'm gonna call her right now

Speaker 2 you fucking asshole i'm gonna yell at her Wait a minute. Why did they call Kalila? Because she works there.
She loves the dogs. Oh, at the place that he went to?

Speaker 2 That was obviously strategic.

Speaker 2 Because if they ran his record anywhere else, they'd have been like, no fucking way. But he do kill dogs before? He dogfight.
He's assaulted a few of them.

Speaker 2 He's got three assault charges on his dog fighting ring?

Speaker 2 No, it made me not want to see an escort, though, so I didn't want to leave the dog home alone. You can't bring the dog?

Speaker 2 Baby?

Speaker 2 Oh, you're on on bad friends right now.

Speaker 3 Oh, God. Why did I say cookie dough?

Speaker 2 That's funny. That's funny.

Speaker 2 Thanks for calling me Cookie Dough on a live podcast. All right.
What's up, bud? So you recommended a dog from the shelter to Carlos?

Speaker 2 No, no, no.

Speaker 2 Okay, here we go. I got a message.

Speaker 3 I got a message from, so I got a message from my rescue coordinator who said, hey, do you know this guy?

Speaker 2 And she. Then you should have said no.

Speaker 3 And I was like, oh, yeah, I know him.

Speaker 3 And he was like, what is he?

Speaker 3 What's his deal? Because, like, we're really, really careful about who we adopt to because this particular dog had just like a really fucked up story and was on the streets for a while.

Speaker 2 Was he molested or something? What happened?

Speaker 2 I don't know, but he was at the shelter for a minute.

Speaker 3 But he's like, you know, so we're really super careful who we adopt out to. So I basically had to give

Speaker 2 the full

Speaker 2 why is the dog at the Holocaust Museum? Yeah. That's where they have him.

Speaker 2 He was laughing. Anyway, but okay, well, that's good then.
It's a damaged dog.

Speaker 3 Is there a conflicting story?

Speaker 2 No, no, no. It's just that we just don't think the dog, Carlos should have a dog.
But anyway. No, Bobby thinks.

Speaker 3 Wait, wait, but it did say, like, I was super honest about it. Like, I gave a very, very honest assessment of Carlos.

Speaker 3 I said he has a really good heart, like, all of the things, but, like, was very upfront.

Speaker 2 Did you tell the part where he frequents prostitutes? Yeah. Yeah.
He doesn't want to leave the dog alone when he goes to get a hooker, he said.

Speaker 3 Well, no, no, I did. I did say all that stuff, too.

Speaker 2 Glory holes. Glory holes, you said.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay. We did.
Okay. Hey, Kalila.

Speaker 2 Kalila.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Her and I have a code word, and she'll know what I mean.

Speaker 2 Churros.

Speaker 2 Churros, baby. See? Bye.
Cookie dough. Cookie dough.
Cookie dough. Cookie dough.

Speaker 2 I have to tell you, first of all. Well, what the fuck is churros, dude?

Speaker 2 What the fuck is churros, dude? They're Mexican.

Speaker 2 I know what they are.

Speaker 2 Very good. Cinnamon sugar.
So, what is the code, man? Deep fried, huh? I'm being real. What's the code, dude? You know.
Oh, yeah? Yeah, sure. Two can play that game.

Speaker 2 You and your wife? That's gonna have a code word. Oh, yeah.
What is it? What's it gonna be? What? What's it gonna be? Deeps.

Speaker 2 Deeps. Plural.

Speaker 2 Deeps. Yeah, dude.
And you know I'm trying to figure it out. Yeah, figure it out.
Me and your wife have a word. Deeps.

Speaker 2 What? You gonna get up? No. All right.

Speaker 2 Talk to me about this bullshit dog.

Speaker 2 This thing's gonna be dead in a month. Just read the statue.

Speaker 2 All of the Jews who bore the brand of Hitler's death camps on their arm, only a mere handful lived to tell the horror that was the Holocaust. And you put your dog in front of us.

Speaker 2 What's your dog's name, Adolph? Archie. Archie.
Archie. Archie.

Speaker 2 Archie Himmler? Yeah. That was his name at the shelter.
Now, how long have you had Archie?

Speaker 2 About eight days. And how's it going? It's going really well.
You love Archie? I do. Does he sleep on the bed with you? He does.
But I did think of you. I was like, oh.
Why didn't you bring him here?

Speaker 2 Who's watching the dog now?

Speaker 2 He's at a foster right now because I have to move and they don't want me to have him while he moves. So I've just had him for a week.
You don't want to risk Bobby eating him. Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, he ate a burger right in front of you. Yeah, that's for me.
And what kind of dog was that? Did you want to go back to that?

Speaker 2 I don't want to brush back by that. Why?

Speaker 2 Because it's a joke. I get it.
No, it's not a joke. It's a fact.
Yeah. It's a fact.

Speaker 2 Can we just not?

Speaker 2 If I had a dog, I wouldn't bring him here. I wouldn't take any chances.
Okay.

Speaker 2 What do you mean by that? I just wouldn't take any risks. There's our team.
He's so cute. God, God,

Speaker 2 I want to have another hamburger for some reason.

Speaker 2 By looking at that. When he pulled the burger out of the handbrapping.
He ransomed. He pulled the burger out of the wrapping.
He unwrap it and he goes, oh, Breck Reb.

Speaker 2 That is

Speaker 2 a good looking dog. Good looking dog.
Yeah. So, Archie, you're going to keep the name.
I'm going to keep the name. Now,

Speaker 2 why?

Speaker 2 Just because it was his name and I don't want to fucking like.

Speaker 2 You can switch a dog's name. He's young enough.
I don't want to have to be like, oh, now your name's like

Speaker 2 Mandugo or something. You know,

Speaker 2 why Mandugo, dude? Why Mandugo, dude? That was just a creative name. Oh, my God.
It was not. There's some racial overtone to that, dude.
Dogs from the Congo?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Who the fuck is Mandugo, bro? Who is Mandugo? He's a Congolese warlord.

Speaker 2 It just hit my head. Mandugo is the first name.
That's insane. That is insane, dude.
You're a nuts-oh dude.

Speaker 2 You're fucking shit together, dude. No, I am.
I'm getting a dog. I'm moving August 1st.
Where are you going? Los Felis. He's lumuno los Feliz.
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Speaker 2 My God, can you ever? Meh.

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Speaker 2 25? I'm giving him a lot. 10, 15? 10, 12, yeah.
And it's so funny when you say that. And when I die, you'll know that you said that.
I'll die in 10 years then, bud. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 2 I mean, 10 more years of this show will be great. Then people will be asking us for betting tips.
Yeah, 100%. Dude, Vegas will be ringing us up.

Speaker 2 What do you got on the Knicks?

Speaker 2 what are you looking for hopefully i'll be here for 25 more years please bobby

Speaker 2 i want you to be around for 40 more five years you're gonna be you're here for look at me yeah 40 more both my parents were at least 80 yeah you're going over you and your mom's 81 you're going up 55 you're you got your mom is healthier than you yeah she's in great shape yeah okay you should see her nick she's not no that's the irony of life right like we'll drop dead and he'll just be like a hundred yeah eating burgers like that.

Speaker 2 Like, no problem. I don't want anyone.
You know, honestly. And let's go back to this.
Here's the deal. I'd rather die before you because I don't want to live without you.

Speaker 2 I don't think you mean that. I do mean that.
You really? I do. Yeah, he does.
Yeah, I do mean that. He loves you.
But let me tell you, I'll be honest.

Speaker 2 I think Andrew more than you because I'm closer to Andrew. Yeah.
I think Andrew's death would be a tad more traumatizing for me.

Speaker 2 Would you fly to New York to go to his funeral? 100%.

Speaker 2 You would?

Speaker 2 100%, dude. All right, here's the circumstances.
Would you take care of my kids? No. Okay.
I don't even want to meet them. Here's the circumstances.
I won't even say how to do it.

Speaker 2 Here's the circumstances, right? Yeah. Giannis' funeral.
It's on a Monday.

Speaker 2 You got to record Belly. There's only one flight in and one flight.

Speaker 2 Who's the guest?

Speaker 2 It's

Speaker 2 Quinn Tarantino.

Speaker 2 Quinn Tarantino is the guest. Dude, would we go to each other's funerals? Are we friends like that? I wouldn't go to yours.
I feel like this is like

Speaker 2 the breakfast club. I would sit in there and go, I wouldn't go to your fucking house.
You guys would. Are you on your mind? At this point, yes.
You would? Yeah. Yes! My God.

Speaker 2 Because I want to tell you something, sir. So I'm just wanting to feel bad that I wouldn't go to your guys' house.

Speaker 2 You wouldn't? Why are you leaving? Honestly, you wouldn't come? To a funeral? Well, not a funeral, but let's say they, because they're going to do this.

Speaker 2 I don't know if they probably would do mine at the Palestine. This is funny.
He's serious. He wouldn't come.
But if they had a night, you know what I mean, where people went up

Speaker 2 and talked about me and had like a memorial, would you not go to that at the comedy store? I will get a picture with both of you guys in case you die. I'll change my profile pic for a week.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 With us. Thank you.
You know what's funny about this whole thing? But Karantino, no, I wouldn't. I would skip it.
I knew you wouldn't. I knew you would.
Karantino, yeah, but anyone else.

Speaker 2 Anyone else, really? Scorsese. I mean, no one at that level.

Speaker 2 What do you mean? Robert De Niro. De Niro.
Yeah, no one at that level.

Speaker 2 Those are like

Speaker 2 earth-shattering numbers I could have. All right, I'll give someone in the middle.
Okay.

Speaker 2 The Rock. That's not the Rock.

Speaker 2 That's up there. Still.

Speaker 2 What I mean is that. That's not the middle.
You're not a huge fan of The Rock.

Speaker 2 He loved The Rock. Stavros.
No.

Speaker 2 No. That's the honest truth now.
So you'd come to my funeral. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay. That made me feel okay.
Stavros. It'll be hard.

Speaker 2 Because he's not in town that much. Yeah, it would be really hard, dude.
I'd have to

Speaker 2 write a letter or email

Speaker 2 going, you know,

Speaker 2 I've been pondering this for a week. Yeah.
Right? And I can't believe you're not going to Giannis' funeral. Because he would go, right?

Speaker 2 He probably might go. That's what I would do.
I would call Giannis and go, listen, dude, I know you're supposed to pod with me today

Speaker 2 tomorrow, but I think we should go to Giannis' funeral. And I'll pay for your flight, right? And pod first class.
Pod. Will you pod the play?

Speaker 2 No, we'll pod afterwards. I'll pod after the funeral.
Here's the funniest part about you wanting one of those comedy store immemoriums that you're talking about. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's just more work that I would have to do when you die. Once again, you put me to work, even when you're fucking dead.
Imagine. Because I'd have to put on the whole thing and produce it.

Speaker 2 No one would give me credit. No one would care that I had to do all this.
I would put together a super cut video of you. And the pressure of the speech.

Speaker 2 unfucking believable unbelievable pressure you have to fake cry yeah i wouldn't i would cry i think you fake no you i think you would cry on your own yeah but in public you would fake cry yeah yeah yeah what would you say what would your speech be like what would it be like what would you say i don't mind

Speaker 2 we all know this day was coming i would go uh

Speaker 2 i'll tell you my i tell you know i'll tell you my closer for sure right after it'll be thank god he's gone emotional deep speech yeah i'd be quiet i'd start to pretend like i was crying and i would try to get myself to get some tears.

Speaker 2 And I would slowly look up and I'd go,

Speaker 2 I'm Bobby Mom. And it would fucking rip.
Destroy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It would destroy. And your mom would come down.
She would come down out of the ceiling in a little cage.

Speaker 2 You know, like, I'm a slave. Remember Britney Spears and the sexy jungle outfit? And your mom would be dancing and go, I'm Bobby Mom.
And she would be on a pole.

Speaker 2 And everyone would fucking lose it. It fucking cannons and

Speaker 2 confetti. It'd be so much fun.
Yeah, bad friends theme music playing, fucking party. Yeah, dude.
Chinese dragon in the ceiling, fucking going around. You know what I don't know?

Speaker 2 Fucking plates of fucking meat.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 What I would do is I would cry

Speaker 2 in your speech. My closer.

Speaker 2 I would go. And by the way, Giannis and I have a new podcast.

Speaker 2 Good friends. Right? And we'd play a trailer of the new pod.
Yeah. I mean, the audience, there'll be a lot of people.
Well, it's good promo. Good promo, yeah, yeah.
No, I would support that, actually.

Speaker 2 You know, who who would be there passing out flyers for their podcast? It would be fucking fancy. Have you seen? Have you seen? Have you seen? Have you seen? Have you seen that time?

Speaker 2 He would just be going after people be like, he's so sad.

Speaker 2 Have you seen my new podcast?

Speaker 2 It's a sad sad. Yeah, it's a sad.
But have you seen? Have you seen?

Speaker 2 Yeah, we've seen. I mean, we've seen, all right.
Yeah, we've seen. You fucking desperate piece of shit.
He is a little scumbag. He's a scumbag.
So needy.

Speaker 2 It kind of makes you miss George in the weirdest way.

Speaker 2 You miss him all the time. I miss the time, man.
Yeah, I miss him all the time. He's gone now.

Speaker 2 You would never live here. You hate this place.
You've said that adamantly. But I think you got a little crush on us.
I do have a crush on you. I do think you have a crush on L.A.

Speaker 2 I have a seasonal affective disorder, and I like that the weather's good. I love you guys.
If I was here, I would want to hang out with you guys all the time. See? Yeah.

Speaker 2 You do like L.A. a little bit.
What do you lead on? Big-time buds if I lived here. Me.
Oh, my God. Yeah.
Me and you is me off that you're too far away. Big time buds.
I think so. I lived here.

Speaker 2 I think so. I don't know why I just did that, but we'd be big time buds.
I think so too. Trumpy Poke.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 now are you in over at the store? Can you

Speaker 2 get spots?

Speaker 2 I'm going to say something. Such buyers.
No, no, no, no. Andrew, check that out.
Well, I've never been here to go there. So I had a conversation with Sam Murrill and Mark Normand.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 They have a big-time resentment toward the comedy store. Comedy.
Right. And I've also.
That was dead on. Yeah.
He does a good one. Yeah.
And then

Speaker 2 I've also talked to other New York comics saying that when they come to LA,

Speaker 2 they hate the store because they don't feel like it. But here's the truth.

Speaker 2 If on a Sunday, like we all do, you text

Speaker 2 this, you know,

Speaker 2 or you texted the booker. Can I say that? You texted the booker, right?

Speaker 2 This person said that you could get spots like everyone else. That you don't have to be passed in that way.
If, you know, people like you can call in and you'll get two or three.

Speaker 2 Okay. Yeah, I'm just letting you know.
And if you need that reach out, you can reach out to me on a Sunday and I can reach out on your behalf.

Speaker 2 I will take take you up on that one day. Why not?

Speaker 2 Because I yell, to me, it's like, and I'd even go to Peter and ask because the thing is, is when Andrew and I go to New York, the seller gives us everything we want. The seller treats us like kings.

Speaker 2 They should.

Speaker 2 Everything we want.

Speaker 2 They make us feel like at home. We love it there.
I love it. And I'm mad that our club doesn't have the same.
It should be reciprocation. It should be reciprocation.
Right. It should feel the same.

Speaker 2 You know, East Coast and West Coast rappers. No more war.
Yeah. Peace.
Yeah. Yeah.
Reciprocate. Yeah.
Reciprocate. Y'all not give a fuck about death row? Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know what's so funny? Yeah. It is, they do treat.
I mean, the people over there at Seller, I've talked about on the show,

Speaker 2 they treat it, it's so fucking nice. It's not just nice.
And I should feel that way when guys come here. I prefer it in a weird way.
No, well, you know, I do.

Speaker 2 When we're sitting there in that little restaurant, right, from the original

Speaker 2 and we're sitting there with Schultz and Rosebud. And you know who was so funny? Later and I was sitting there.
And then Maddie, I don't know Maddie that well. You know Maddie? Is that her name?

Speaker 2 Maggie, Maddie. Maggie? Maddie.
She's Theo Vaughn's opener. Oh, oh, oh, yeah.
Maddie. Yeah, Maddie.
You know her? No. Well, unless I'm not picturing her.
Anyway, I'm a fan of her.

Speaker 2 And she's on that Wild and Out. She's on that TV show.
I've seen clips of her. And she just sat next to me and goes, hey, I'm Maddie.
I go, I know who you are. And we like haunted.

Speaker 2 And it was like instant best friends. Because you got that comedy connections.
Yeah, Ian, finance, and Jordan. Jordan killed for us on that show.
She's so good.

Speaker 2 My point is that New York makes us feel at home, and I want the same for you guys here. And if you're not careful, Los Angeles, you're going to lose us.
You will lose. We'll move.

Speaker 2 So you guys got to put the pressure on them. Say, hey, when the New York guys come out, you guys should.
I already did.

Speaker 2 We have spoken about it. It is kind of fucked up because we do feel like that thing should shoot.
That would only help them.

Speaker 2 Of course. And I want to say it's nothing controversial, but the truth is that it'd make the lineups better.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Be real. What do you mean? I mean, you look at sometimes.
I just look at the lineups. It would help us.
And you know, they're all funny, but in terms of like

Speaker 2 who would bring in an audience. It'd be nice to get out of towners on the list, of course.
It mixes it up. It challenges us.
Of course. It's the whole thing.
Of course.

Speaker 2 All right. So tell us a couple of jokes.

Speaker 2 Showcase for us. Yeah, remember that?

Speaker 2 Remember that morning radio where you had to be like, where they'd be like, so here with Giannis, Giannis, touring comedian, funny guy. Love this guy.
Very funny guy. Yannis,

Speaker 2 you're afraid of deep water? What is that about? Yeah, yeah, I hate deep water. One time I was actually with my girlfriend,

Speaker 2 Mad Ripper.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't get it. Well, I didn't get to the punchline yet.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 hold on, Wong. Let him get there.
All right, all right. Here we go.
This guy's great, man. Doesn't like deep water.
Vacation problem? What was it, Giannis? Yes, I was with my girlfriend.

Speaker 2 We were in Cancun.

Speaker 2 Uh-oh. Yeah.
Spaghetti Ow. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Uh-oh, Spaghetti Out.

Speaker 2 That used to hurt me so much.

Speaker 2 Having them to lead you, and I felt like I was. I hated it.
Oh, I hated it. Well, what was

Speaker 2 the show?

Speaker 2 The late night show. He would lead you into the...
Byron Allen. Byron Allen.
Those are so funny. He'd go,

Speaker 2 man, you don't like spiders, do you? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 He's like right in your bit. You know, I don't like spiders.

Speaker 2 What was that called?

Speaker 2 Comics on League. Comics on League.
I never did it. Did you? I did it.
How many times did you do it? I've never done that. I'll refuse.
I never did it. What do you mean?

Speaker 2 They never asked me. I don't think he still does it.
Does he still do it? I think they do. But now there's a game show.
It's a game show.

Speaker 2 It's like a comedy game show that they have where they have six comics. I did it one time.
What's that called?

Speaker 2 Like, Funny You Thing You Should Ask? You did one of those? No, no. It was like a game showy kind of thing called Comedy.

Speaker 2 Everyone's done it. What's it called? Funny You Should Ask.
I guess it was. That's what I was.
I just said that. That's it.
My bad. Yeah, Funny You Should Ask.
Have you done that? No.

Speaker 2 I did it one time. I did it with Louis Anderson when he was a live guy.
I had Rustin Playpiece. And what's the other guy from SNL? John Lovitz.

Speaker 2 All those guys, right? I did it one time and they never asked me about it. Sounds like the same kind of guy.
Louis Lovetts, you. Kind of the same kind of guy.
Can we talk about something real? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Let's talk about how movies and TV shows isn't. Like, for instance, hear me out.
I was on iTunes yesterday. I'm like, oh, Guardians of the Galaxy is already out, and it's also on iTunes.

Speaker 2 And also, I never even heard about it. Yeah.
I mean, like, is it dead? They just drop stuff now. That stuff's just out.
They just want it out as fast as they can.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but my point is, is that, and now there's a sack strike happening, maybe, and stuff like that. That's right, dude.
Is it just obsolete now the thing? I feel like we

Speaker 2 locked out, really, because we do what we do. Yeah.
But I think it's not obsolete. It's not obsolete, but it is definitely lower than it was, right? It's not as much going on.

Speaker 2 I mean, is your movie going to come out? I have so many that may never come out. No, no, Borderlands.
You said that it was. You know the producer.

Speaker 2 I know, but I heard that there's rumblings that it's on the rocks again.

Speaker 2 Are you being real? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, fuck. Well, probably not then.
There's just so much. I'm kidding.
Jesus Christ, it's coming out. There's just so much for people to consume.
There's too much shit. It's too much stuff.

Speaker 2 Yeah, there's too much shit. But also,

Speaker 2 somehow stuff's still cracking through. I mean, succession cracked through.
I think things are going to crack through if they're good enough. It's got to be really good.
That's what we're going to do.

Speaker 2 It's got to be really good. Well, then, isn't kind of the best barometer? That's what's interesting about everyone being like, there's too much shit out there.

Speaker 2 You're like, I know, but then if something is good,

Speaker 2 like that show, Beef, I did, that is a good show. That's why people like that show.
It's a good show. Yeah, yeah.
I have nothing to do with it being good. I'm saying it's good.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 You got a little something to do. You know, Dave's a good show.
I'm barely on it. Dave's a good show.
Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 2 Because he may never come back, though. That show might be gone.
I had Ike Baronolds on yesterday on Tiger Belly. Oh, yeah.
And he talked about you.

Speaker 2 He's like, dude, your buddy Andrew is killing it on that show. I love that show.
That last episode was amazing. That's nice.

Speaker 2 But it's also like

Speaker 2 there is a lot of noise, and

Speaker 2 I don't know what young people like. I'm interested.
I don't know what kids watch. They like podcasts.
TikTok. TikToks.

Speaker 2 TikTok and podcasts. They're on the internet.
They like the internet. Dude, if I go to In-N-Out at one in the morning, I'm like Elvis in there and then

Speaker 2 bro. Every fucking time.

Speaker 2 You go to In-N-Out how much, though, now

Speaker 2 how often? Three or four times a week, baby. Are we really going that much? Yeah.
Kiddo, we got to cover. Hey, bro.
We got to cool it off. I love the hay bros, though, dude.
That's a lot, man.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I know, you know what? But you know, at my age, I feel fine. Yeah, you lift your back currents.
My right, my right arm is tingling. You lose feeling in your limbs all the time.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, but I'm fine. Yeah, I guess that is totally.
Yeah, that's good. I'm happy.
What does it really mean? Numbness in the right arm? Nerve damage, herniated disc, and a stroke. Oh, shit.

Speaker 2 Stroke is the only one that's the most real. That one I'm saying.
I didn't say numbness. I said tingling.
Okay, look up fucking tingling, Carlos. Well, I know.

Speaker 2 So I looked up tingling, and it says you should call a doctor right away. Oh, okay.
If you have numbness in your arms, dizziness, trouble with coordination, discolored skin. I feel that.
I feel it.

Speaker 2 What do they think that is? A stroke? Circulation, probably. Circulation.
Pernated disc. Circulation.
Yeah. Perniated disc?

Speaker 2 I think it'd be nerve damage.

Speaker 2 I have nerve damage. I was a numb.

Speaker 2 You're still there, right? Fucking Agent Orange is still there. A-pom, all that shit.
Fucks me up. Agent Orange is a good name for me.
Yeah. I'm Agent Orange.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's the Moon King.

Speaker 2 With the Moon King and Agent Orange. Dude.

Speaker 2 That's our movie, dude. Yeah.
The Moon King and Agent Orange. Sounds like a Wes Anderson.

Speaker 2 To be honest, though, if Andrew, because people, you know, Andrew and I are going to do a movie eventually here. We are.
Would you be in it? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Dude, how great would he be?

Speaker 2 Yeah, but what would he play? Yeah, you know, UPS driver or something. All right,

Speaker 2 let's see him give it a whirl. Yeah.
Go ahead. Let's see.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Hey.

Speaker 2 Hey. Hey.
Get out of the road.

Speaker 2 Sorry about that, man.

Speaker 2 Hey,

Speaker 2 you're walking.

Speaker 2 You're walking my Asian. I'm walking my Asian in the road.
Yeah, yeah. Get him out of the road.
I'm trying to drive. Come on, buddy.
Come on, buddy. Get him out.
All right. Sorry about that.

Speaker 2 I got fucking packages to deliver out. Do you have any packages for us?

Speaker 2 No. I got a package right here, pal.
Get your fucking Asian out of the road. This guy's hired.
I left your hire. Yeah, but this guy's hard.
Get your package right here.

Speaker 2 Get your fucking Asian out of the road. That's the name of the movie.
Get your Asian out of the road.

Speaker 2 Throw mom off the train. He's going to be upset.

Speaker 2 We gave the role to Bobby Kelly. It's okay.
Sorry, man. It's all right.
Listen, it's all right.

Speaker 2 It doesn't pay anything anyway. Yeah, it does.
It was a million bucks. It was a million bucks.
My dream is that eventually we can all do.

Speaker 2 I just think, honestly, the ones that want to act,

Speaker 2 we should do fucking like a

Speaker 2 mobile cast movie. Do you want to act out?

Speaker 2 I want to act in something like that. Yeah.
I don't like waiting around and doing, like, I like with comedians. We're still going to wait around.
Yeah. There's shots that we have to do.

Speaker 2 You know what I'm saying? But we'd still be having fun.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And also, it'll be funny. When you give comedians something, they just make it funny.
Like, look, this is funny. Yeah.
You got, like, there's no other people who don't do comedy involved in this.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Right.
That's true.

Speaker 2 We should try it. Yeah.
Why don't we all pool our money and make a movie? Well, some of us have a bigger pool. Some of us, yeah.
That's the problem. Bobby's got got a big pool.
I got a big pool. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, yeah, I mean, we could do a movie. I mean, the new movie.
I'll throw in 10 bucks.

Speaker 2 Okay. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm in. I'm in.
I'm saying I'm in. I'm in.
I went in. I think if everyone threw in 10 grand.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Right? And we got like, no, we need more.

Speaker 2 To make a movie is so expensive. No, no.
I mean, 50K each. 50K each.
This has gone way too high. Let's go back down to 10.
Yeah, it's 10, 10, 10. But then we get funding from, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Well, let's shoot it on iPhones.

Speaker 2 Okay. Why not? Yes.
Shoot it on iPhones. What are you shaking your head at? They shoot 30 frames.
Yeah. Yeah.
As long as you guys make it funny, it'll be good. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And you think you're going to direct it piece of shit?

Speaker 2 Or is Macone going to direct it? Probably Macon at this point.

Speaker 2 Oh, shit. No, no, no.
We want you back, fancy. Sorry about that.

Speaker 2 What would it be? You guys, cops? Like a sort of a buddy cop movie? You know, it used to be the black guy, white guy, but now it's like the white guy and the Asian.

Speaker 2 No, he's going to play Derek Chavend.

Speaker 2 And I'm going to play the Asian other guy, officer. That was a.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Man. He's on the run.
It was just us on the run. Who's going to play George Floyd? You're going to play George Floyd.

Speaker 2 Giannis. Yeah.
We love you. We love you.
Hey, thank you so much for being on the show. This was fun as well.
Do you have any plug-in dates? Do you have any dates? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Just go to YannisPappasComedy.com. Go to YannisPapasComedy.com.
The boys in the studio will put the link in the description below. YannisPapapascomedy.com.
That's it for us. Bobby? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Let's do it!

Speaker 2 Thank you for being here,

Speaker 2 friend.

Speaker 2 You Spanish piece of garbage. You dirty little fucking foreigner.
I'm doing his movie podcast tomorrow. Ooh.

Speaker 2 His? Yeah.

Speaker 2 See, you're finagling. You know what you're doing? Finagling.
Not finagling. I don't even know if the fucking idea.
He's poaching us. We're using our guys.
We should. And our guys.

Speaker 2 You know what he's done? Dude,

Speaker 2 hey. Not only have you utilized, you've utilized our contacts now because of your association, you think my favorite person hasn't done it.

Speaker 2 You go to these people and to go, I'm Franz Andrew and Bobby. You do this for me.
And it's like, you're a fucking little Spanish strong-armis? Yeah. Don't do it tomorrow.
Okay. Don't do it.
Done.

Speaker 2 You know what? You're busy tomorrow. I am busy.
You guys shit. You're from out of town.
You're bugging that movie you're doing, right?

Speaker 2 I was just trying to be nice. Yeah, yeah.
My favorite comedian is doing it soon.

Speaker 2 He is very busy today. My favorite comedian.
Who?

Speaker 2 Who is it? Andrew Santino. Have you done it yet? No.

Speaker 2 I keep putting it off. Don't do it.
I keep putting it off. Please don't do it.

Speaker 2 You do it. You did it.
You did it. You did it as a community service, which is incredible.

Speaker 2 Both of you.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Well, then, you know what? That's it.
You did it for us. We already got one in.
Do not have him do it, dude. I draw the line there.
No, because I want to see who does better.

Speaker 2 That's disgusting. We do it now.

Speaker 2 Let's have some fun.