Bobby Goes Fishing

Speaker 1 Hey, bad friends!

Speaker 1 You guys, we're by fans live. It's the best live show you'll ever see in your life.
In your life. And this week, we're going to be where, Juicy, where are we this week?

Speaker 2 Louisville, Kentucky.

Speaker 1 Louisville, Kentucky, where the horsey's done racing. The booze is made down in a bourbon county.
And then we go to Atlanta, Georgia, baby. Atlanta, baby.
Two shows in Atlanta by the show's sold.

Speaker 1 The first show's gone. Get the second show.
Where do we go after Atlanta, Jess?

Speaker 2 Graceland Soundstage.

Speaker 1 Graceland Soundstage? Where's that at?

Speaker 2 Memphis, Tennessee.

Speaker 1 Memphis, Tennessee, baby. Norfolk, Virginia, guys.
Norfolk, Virginia. We're going to be coming to you guys, and then we're going to do a little run in North Carolina.
Durham, come on out and see us.

Speaker 1 And Charlotte, before we head to Texas in May, those are the dates. Come out and see us.
Go to badfriendspod.com. Badfriendspod.com.

Speaker 1 You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 A white dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 2 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 We're bad friends. I've never seen Avatar.
Why? I don't know. Well, you're not a sci-fi guy.
I'm not a sci-fi guy, is probably the best way to describe it. I've never been a sci-fi guy.

Speaker 1 I'll never be a sci-fi guy. But your heart's closed.
That's what. No, no, no.
I just have no interest in that category of film. Oh, I like it all.
You're allowed to.

Speaker 1 I'm allowed to say no. Do you like classical music? I do.
Like, would you listen to it all day, all night? I do.

Speaker 1 Do you like spoken word poetry?

Speaker 1 No, it's right. Sucks.
Yeah. I hate it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, people go there. People go like in New York.
I love New York and I love you know people. Yeah, I do.
I love both things. Right.
Totally. But then you know, they have those jams.
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 They're at coffee shop. You know what I mean? Beatniks.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 With their fingers and stuff, right? Hell yeah. You know what I mean? And candles.
Why are there candles?

Speaker 1 In case the power goes out. Oh, well, that's my point.
But it's like, you know, back in the day, like with Ginsburg and back in the 60s, the beatnik scene, right?

Speaker 1 I am, you will, we are, make me

Speaker 1 life

Speaker 1 given. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And the white man

Speaker 1 wants you to think, yeah, yeah, yeah, I am, yeah, less than. I want to boo.
Amen.

Speaker 1 Amen. Amen.
Thank you. So that's what I'm saying.
I met him once.

Speaker 1 Sci-fi films are spoken word poetry to me. Not interesting.
I met Alan Ginsburg. You met Ginsburg? Yeah.
Where? At D.H. Wells Bookstore in La Jolla.
I thought you were going to say DHL.

Speaker 1 I was shipping something.

Speaker 1 So I had the, he wrote a book called The Howl. I have that hair.
Or The Howling. What's it called? That's Carlos, by the way.

Speaker 1 He looks exactly like Ginsburg. They have the same hair.
But you know what he wrote in my book? What? You watch too much TV.

Speaker 1 Alan Ginsburg. He's probably right.
Yeah, but I don't know how he knew that.

Speaker 1 But he could look at you.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? You got a TV body.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 like a turnip.

Speaker 1 Right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're more like a squash. like a squash, summer squash because they're yellow.
But I remember being offended, like reading it and going, What the fuck? How do you know? Fuck you, bitch.

Speaker 1 But he's right, though. He's totally right.
Yeah, yeah. And last thing I want to say about that is I chased Lou Reed down the street.
I love Lou Reed when I was 16 years old. Well, what do you mean?

Speaker 1 You try to fight Lou Reed? No, I was obsessed with Lou Reed. And so me and my friend Jensen went to his, he had a poetry reading.

Speaker 1 You know, with his lyrics from his songs. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And there was not a lot of people there, maybe 60 people. And then he went out the back, and me and Chess go, Let's run.
I had my velvet underground shirt. Let's go around, right?

Speaker 1 We saw him in the alleyway, and we started running toward him. He got in his car, and

Speaker 1 he drove away.

Speaker 1 He's

Speaker 1 got chaotic, check, like that. And when he left, he went, Lou Ree!

Speaker 1 I've never chased a celebrity. I've never?

Speaker 1 No, I've never chased anybody.

Speaker 1 One, my dad, I've told this on this podcast before, but the first celebrity I actually saw, well, the first celebrity I ever saw was with my mom in an ice cream store in Chicago. I saw that.

Speaker 1 We saw the mother from

Speaker 1 Let me guess. Yeah, what's wrong with me? Let me guess.
Wait, what's wrong with me? Let me guess, though. Yeah.
Malcolm in the middle.

Speaker 1 What? No. Isn't the mother in Malcolm in the middle? No, I was a child when this happened.
This was

Speaker 1 many years ago. Oh, how about this? Bonanza.
Is there a mother in there? No. I don't see the show.
There's got to be a mom in Bonanza. No.
Oh, how about this?

Speaker 1 The one with fucking the guy that went to. Exactly.
No, no, listen. Can I just explain?

Speaker 1 You guessed it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The one with the guy that went to the thing. No.
No, what's the one where

Speaker 1 Little House in the Prairie? How old do you think I am?

Speaker 1 You said you're young. Yeah, but that wasn't on when I was a kid.
Little House on the Prairie? Dude, you're thinking about you. Oh,

Speaker 1 I'm 40. You're 50.
I used to love that show.

Speaker 1 It was the mom. It was Kevin Arnold's mom.
It was.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. What's wrong with me? Why can't I think of the name of the show?

Speaker 1 Dude, that's her right there. Yeah, that's her from Wonder Years.
What's her name?

Speaker 1 She was so sweet and so nice. And she signed a napkin.

Speaker 1 Allie Mills? Huh? Allie Mills. That's right.
She signed a napkin for me at the ice cream store. She was the first.

Speaker 1 And then the second one, we saw Tom Selick in the airport in Chicago at O'Hare by the baggage. And my dad goes, Tom Selleck.

Speaker 1 No, you swear to come. It was embarrassing.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I was like bright orange, like hotter than I ever have been, just like illuminating orange. And then he looked over and kind of gave like a what.
And my dad was like, hey, really? It was so weird.

Speaker 1 My dad. I was like, why did you just yell at Tom Selick? My dad's never heard a song before.

Speaker 1 What? He doesn't know what music is. He never heard music.
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 He doesn't know what it is. There's music when you're like in a song.
I know, but that's how anti-like anything he is.

Speaker 1 He wouldn't know what Mozart was. He wouldn't know what Bruce Springsteen was.
If you played him a song, it all sounds the same to me. It's just noise.
Was he not allowed to listen to music as a kid?

Speaker 1 He's just not a music listener or a movie watcher or anything. What did he do for fun when he was allowed to work?

Speaker 1 That was fun. No.

Speaker 1 Earn money. In fact, he was so cheap.

Speaker 1 Me and my brother went to his,

Speaker 1 he owned a clothing store called Fashion Gal. Oh, yeah, we know.
We know. And

Speaker 1 we went to his, and he, and I go, where are the employees?

Speaker 1 I do everything.

Speaker 1 Everything I do.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 me and my brother looked below the cash register. There's a fucking gigantic jar of pee.

Speaker 1 What? Because he has no employees, right? So he just pees,

Speaker 1 you know what I mean? In this gigantic jar, right? Welcome, welcome. And they're like, PU.

Speaker 1 Is that where P-U came from?

Speaker 1 Probably. P-U.
Yeah, P-U.

Speaker 1 Dude. But yeah, my dad doesn't know anything.
And when he was dying, right? This is a really heartfelt story. Give it.
All right. So when my dad was dying, my brother had AirPods or whatever.

Speaker 1 And he stuck AirPods in his ear, right? First, he plays Tribe Called Quest. My dad, they're listening to it.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's a good way to start. And my dad will start shaking, right? Then I go, no, no, no, no.
So I changed it to Eric Clapton.

Speaker 1 The stairway. If you saw it in heaven.
Tears in heaven.

Speaker 1 Tears in heaven.

Speaker 1 I swear to God, he had one tear. Oh, my God.
He heard a song for the first time.

Speaker 1 Wow. And he died.
Yeah. Yeah.
His last words on his deathbed, he was just like,

Speaker 1 can I kick it?

Speaker 1 Can you imagine

Speaker 1 holding his hand and you're like, yes, you can.

Speaker 1 He's like, can I kick it?

Speaker 1 Or like a week later. Yes, you can.
Or a week later, we come back home and he's like dressed like Tupac.

Speaker 1 Like he's totally in it. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, Biggie, why did he kill me? Where's the coaster?

Speaker 1 Juicy, how much fun did you have in Vancouver, Canada?

Speaker 2 Oh, it was amazing. I can't believe it.

Speaker 1 She cried. 2,700 seats.
Juicy came out hot as a pistol, didn't miss a beat, crushed, crushed. So excited.
That was the beginning of the tour, bro.

Speaker 1 It's all smooth sailing from here, kiddo.

Speaker 2 We had a really nice moment, Bobby and I.

Speaker 1 Yeah, really nice. Yeah.
And she goes, because, you know, I mean,

Speaker 1 I had a a really bad couple weeks, and like, you know, that show happened at the right time. It was awesome.
It was awesome.

Speaker 2 That's what Andrew's been saying.

Speaker 1 I knew. I said it.
I said, this is exactly what we need to start the tour in Vancouver with a big, huge audience of people in Canada that were like so excited to come out. It was so exciting.

Speaker 1 And we were leaving. I go, let's go.
We got to get a concert or whatever. And she goes, no, I want to go back on the stage again.

Speaker 2 So I went with her. I made him come with me.

Speaker 1 Oh, she goes, look. And, you know, this beautiful theater.
Such a pretty theater. Beautiful.
Like stained glass on the ceiling.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I could see her tear up,

Speaker 1 right? And I went, you know what? You just taught me a lesson. This is it.
This is it. This is it.
There's nothing else. Living it right now.
Right now. You really taught me a lesson.

Speaker 2 I was so glad because I didn't tell you at the time, but I think it was because I was pretty drunk.

Speaker 2 Because I didn't drink during the show, but then after,

Speaker 1 we caked it in the green room.

Speaker 2 Some guests came back.

Speaker 2 I drank one and a half IPAs.

Speaker 1 That'll do it. We went back on the stage, and I was like, So it wasn't a real emotion.

Speaker 2 No, it's real, but it was fueled.

Speaker 2 But you were like, are you getting emotional? And then I was like,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 And then you started.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Stop.
You weren't emotional then? You were faking it?

Speaker 2 Well, I didn't want to tell you. I think a lot of it was because of the alcohol.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But it was still real.

Speaker 1 Like a spiritual, profound moment. You were fucking drunk.
Yeah, but wait a minute. Wait a minute.
People take ayahuasca to see God. So they're intoxicated with something when they see something else.

Speaker 1 So I believe chemicals can sometimes open your brain to the spiritual world. So this was her just realizing, look at how beautiful this is.

Speaker 1 You don't need chemicals. You're above it.

Speaker 1 You've transcended chemicals. Let me tell you, I wish I had chemicals the last two or three weeks.
Yeah, well,

Speaker 1 now you don't need them because... Pooh on my face in a hotel room, you know, like in Mexico.
How could I forget? Anyway, that was a great experience.

Speaker 1 You know, I'm so glad, you know what I mean, that, you know, we get to live through you too, because it's like, here's the deal.

Speaker 1 When you're, you know, when you've been in show business, so gross that even saying that, but in this business as long as I have, yeah.

Speaker 1 I remember those first moments. Huge.
The first time you did TV as a stand-up, the first time you did a theater, all that stuff. And I remember it being so powerful and like, you know, visceral.

Speaker 1 And it was just such an experience. And as you get older, you just kind of like, we're always telling you, like, you know, the first time you play the belly room in the comedy store, it's exciting.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But after the 10,000th, 10,000th time,

Speaker 1 you'll get through it. 10,000th time,

Speaker 1 it just becomes like a thing that you just do, right? It's like,

Speaker 1 you should take every moment and just go, you know what,

Speaker 1 this is great. This is,

Speaker 1 well, we talked about this before the show. What's in front of you? See what's in front of you.
Stop looking this way and that way and backwards. What's right here in front of you right now? Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like that's the way to like live through life. You know what? what it's almost like shoveling snow for people that grew up in places with snow.

Speaker 1 When you go outside, you see the driveway, and you're like, fuck,

Speaker 1 fuck. It's forever.
But if you just look at the little chunk every time that you're getting a little chunk of snow every time, you start to just forget that there's all that space.

Speaker 1 And at some point, then you turn around and you're like, oh, fucking, I'm almost done.

Speaker 1 Because instead of overwhelming yourself with, look at all the shit that I have to do, you're just like, well, let me just take it one little chunk at a time. You can just hire somebody to do that.

Speaker 1 We didn't grow up with the San Diego money, dude. We didn't grow up in the

Speaker 1 powwey. We weren't fucking billionaires.
We did that for our snow in San Diego. You didn't get any snow.
I know. And we paid too much for the guy.

Speaker 1 We paid him $100. And I'm like, dad, I don't, you know, there's no snow.
So

Speaker 1 it will be. Mr.
Lee, I will do your driveway, but

Speaker 1 it's enough snow for me to get.

Speaker 1 You want me to scrape snow for the driveway?

Speaker 1 It's winter.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, so you have to do it. You have to just see.

Speaker 1 No, I'm more curious. I didn't grow up in the snow.
Like, as a kid, I did in Minnesota, but I don't remember. But why do you have to do it? Shovel the snow.
Yeah, I don't know anything about the cars.

Speaker 1 How do you get your cars out?

Speaker 1 It's a driveway. I see.
Yeah. Also, people need to get to your home.
That's how they get up the driveway to your house. But wouldn't that be a great excuse not to show up to work, though? I'm stuck.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's snow.

Speaker 1 Hello. Hello? Oh, my dad, my dad? I don't know why I just did that.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I was trying to figure something out. Hello.

Speaker 1 Hi.

Speaker 1 Is this the boss

Speaker 1 over at where do I work?

Speaker 1 Pet Boys. Over at Pet Boys? Hey, is this Mike? Yeah, man.
Hey, Mike, I'm not going to be able to make it in today. Why not, man? Snow.
Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 There's snow? Tons. It's like four or five inches.
I can't go. I should go back home then, man, huh? Snow.
Yeah, if you can make it back. I feel like you might be stuck at Pet Boys.

Speaker 1 Really good improv.

Speaker 1 I love our little improv. Yeah, it's so good.
They're really good.

Speaker 1 None of you guys grew up with snow. That's fucking insane.
You're a Houston kid. You're from where? L.A.
Yeah, you're from here, kind of, right?

Speaker 2 I lived in snow once, though. Where? In Flagstaff, Arizona.

Speaker 1 Love, love northern Arizona.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and then my car got snowed in, and I just left it there.

Speaker 1 Seriously? You'd pull the Bobby. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It was my first car.

Speaker 1 Is that where Doug Stanhope lives?

Speaker 1 He lives in Bisbee. Bisbee.
What is Bisbee? It's a little small town. Yeah.
And it's just, it's like his town. It's like he runs that whole fucking place.

Speaker 1 You know, I've known him longer than any other comedian, I think. Stanhope? Yeah.
I met him in 1997.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
He was funny back then.

Speaker 1 He's so funny. Yeah, he's so funny.
He's a professional drinker. Nobody's better.
I think

Speaker 1 Bert's probably one of the best, but I think Stanhope is... Like, I had a phone call this weekend with Whistlepig, my boy Patrick at Whistlepig, Pig, who's going to work with us with Whiskey Ginger.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he was telling me that he was having a few drinks with Stanhope. And he's like, I just, nobody can keep up with that guy, but he's super coherent.
He can drink all night, hang out, nothing.

Speaker 1 Doesn't act like a fool. Doesn't like get all, you know what I mean? Just keeps it, keeps it level.
He's a nice guy.

Speaker 1 Let me ask you about Burt Kreischer. I love him.
Great heart.

Speaker 1 And I think about him all the time. I love him so much.
I don't know how his heart is with all that weight.

Speaker 1 Right. But is there,

Speaker 1 Are you ever concerned for him or no?

Speaker 1 For what? For the partying and all that stuff or no? No, because I think he's got something. He must have figured out something.
Yeah, there's something he's doing. I can't figure it out.

Speaker 2 I think he's faking.

Speaker 1 Whoa. You don't think he's drinking.

Speaker 2 I don't think he's really drinking.

Speaker 1 All right, call him out. Say it right now.
Bert, you ain't drinking.

Speaker 2 Besides tea, huh? I think I just did.

Speaker 1 Well, then call it out. Say how you really feel.
You think he's faking it.

Speaker 2 Bert Kreisher, I think you're full of shit.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 I think you're sick of it. One Peter now.
Look at you guys.

Speaker 1 So you think he never drinks? You think it's non-alcoholic?

Speaker 2 That would be hilarious

Speaker 2 if he's like

Speaker 2 taking the shots and spitting them out.

Speaker 1 Spitting them out. Yeah.
Or he's drinking NA beers or he's de-alkalized booze. It'd be so funny.
This is a good theory. What?

Speaker 1 Next time

Speaker 1 in the audience, if a beautiful woman wants my number, give it to him. All right, let's talk about this.
Let's talk about what happened. That's fucked up.

Speaker 1 There were multiple girls in Vancouver who were pretty that wanted to be Bobby's lover. And one of them in particular was a young woman that was was up in the balcony and was really committed.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And Carlos went up there to go let her talk. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And she asked a question, basically, will you hook up with me? Is what she said to you.

Speaker 1 And Carlos sabotaged the situation. He cockblocked the situation by not only not giving her your number, but he tried to sneak a DM to her.
Exactly. You have a reason why, though.
Yeah. Celibacy.

Speaker 1 Oh, right.

Speaker 1 You said it last week. Yeah, I know.
Celibacy, you know, unless something comes my way.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? For me, it's like this. It's like, I'm not going to pursue it, right? But if it comes my way, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 If I'm walking down the street, right, and I see a vagina, I'm going to pick it up. Because

Speaker 1 when you're chasing it and stuff, it becomes like a drug, right? You get the dopamine hits, there's a mystery, the chase, all that stuff. And I just feel like it feels unhealthy.

Speaker 1 So I'm not, I don't want to do that. But it's like, you know, if I'm walking down the street, you know what I mean? And somebody says, here.

Speaker 1 Hands you a pussy. That's like being handed.

Speaker 1 a box with a ribbon on it or whatever it's got to be nicer than a dick for sure. Yeah, dicks just get thrown at you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 but I feel like that's like drinking a beer just because someone offered it to you and you're sober. Oh, this is interesting.
That's an interesting thing. Yeah, you yeah, that is interesting.

Speaker 1 If somebody threw a cracker, I don't have an addiction to that.

Speaker 1 You think I do? I think there's potential for it.

Speaker 1 You think you're addicted? I know you always push. You think you're addicted.
Let's start there. And who's more addicted? You're me.
I'm. You're way more addicted.
I was going to make a promise.

Speaker 1 a guy who's maybe addicted when you're the most addicted.

Speaker 1 It's like... Am I not right or no? Yeah, but I can see my brother in arms.

Speaker 1 I can see my brother.

Speaker 1 I can see as someone who's addicted, I can see the traits of addiction. He's famous for his office.
That's insane. He goes out there.
Andrea, have you noticed him?

Speaker 1 I saw what he did out there a few times.

Speaker 1 I mean, you're just swimming in ego.

Speaker 1 But I gotta tell you. The girl said she was taller than me in the audience.
She did.

Speaker 1 What's good about Carlos, why I love him so much, is his confidence level has taken him farther in life than life was going to take him. So you have to have that kind of bravado to last.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? He's got to have that swagger.

Speaker 1 He's not tall. He's not strong.
He's not smart. He's bald.
He's gay.

Speaker 1 He's got all these things going against him. He's like, you know what your type is as a man? Crumb.
What? Crum?

Speaker 1 What the fuck? Wait, that's what someone would call it. No, like, you're that category of white dude.
Yeah. San Francisco weird artist.
Crumb. Yeah, drawing.
You know, Crumb? Robert Crumb? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know him? Look it up. Yeah, look it up.

Speaker 1 Robert Crumb. You're that type.
That's Crummy. That guy looks cool.
No, look at him in the 70s. But I'll say this.
Can I give you a compliment, all jokes aside? Yeah. Carlos is a handsome, cool dude.

Speaker 1 He's got great swagger, and that's why girls like him. The problem is there's a balance between that's, oh my God, Carlos, that's you.
That's your type. Yeah.
Your type.

Speaker 1 That's the kind of person you are. Yeah.
He looks cool. Yeah.
His neck looks grabbable.

Speaker 1 I should be so lucky to be Robert Crumb. Yes, I agree.
He has Kirk Fox's neck.

Speaker 1 He's such a long neck.

Speaker 1 The giraffe, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So talented. What I'm saying is the problem is, right? Both of you guys, talented, cool, wonderful dudes.
You're both out there fishing. Even though you're selling...
You're fishing a little bit. How?

Speaker 1 By being on stage and being like... Just because I have a fishing rod?

Speaker 1 Don't make an assumption that I have a fishing rod, right? Yeah. And I've got bait.
You know what I mean? That I'm fishing. Okay.

Speaker 1 You're just prepared for a big school. I get it.
But the point is, and Juicy can attest, she's actually probably the best balance of all this because she saw it all go down.

Speaker 1 We need to have a regulated way. If a girl says flirting with Bobby, that you need to step back and let that happen and let that thing go, and then you can get your own girls, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, how did they handle the situation? You think it was bad?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think if they say, I want to date Bobby, that should be pretty clear.

Speaker 1 Pretty clear.

Speaker 1 Pretty cut and dry at that point. Yeah.
And there was two of them. Yeah, there was two.

Speaker 1 Who's well, I just want to say the real issue is that Bobby and I are now in the same dating pool, weirdly enough.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? Yeah, you got to change that water. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, I

Speaker 1 think so. What? I think so.
No.

Speaker 2 Can I tell the story that Sandy Downs have told me? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, please. As about me?

Speaker 2 Yeah, but it will go for full circle.

Speaker 1 Oh, this is great.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Tread carefully. No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 We'll go wild.

Speaker 2 It doesn't show you in a bad light, but it was about when you were opening for Polly.

Speaker 1 Me. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 2 And Sandy was saying that there was a point where you like passed this threshold of, like, now you're picking up all these chicks on the road, you know?

Speaker 2 And one time, anybody who knows Pauli knows he has his openers sell his merch for him.

Speaker 2 And Sandy tells me that one time you didn't do that.

Speaker 2 You instead, you went, instead of selling

Speaker 2 fishing. Not only did he go fishing, but

Speaker 2 he found these girls. They wanted to hang out with him.
You totally skipped the meat and greet line. And I was told, maybe I should have said that.

Speaker 1 No, keep going, keep going. I like it.
I remember where it was, even.

Speaker 2 And then Paulie was so mad he took your girls.

Speaker 1 No, that's not the story.

Speaker 2 That's how we're going to say that the comedy sounds.

Speaker 1 That's absolutely not the story.

Speaker 1 It's insane. You know what?

Speaker 1 It's fucking, you know,

Speaker 1 it's so fucking... Let me ask you, tell you something.
I'll tell you what. I'll fucking tell you.

Speaker 1 I'm emotional.

Speaker 1 All right, let me just get it on, okay? It makes me so angry. Okay.
All right. This is what happened, okay?

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Speaker 1 Vroom, you guys. With vroom.com, you can shop thousands of cars right from your phone and have your next ride delivered straight to you, just like Bobby did and I did for my mom.

Speaker 1 I bought a new car and I use Vroom because, you know, going to a lot in the summer. I don't like it.
I don't like it at all. It's hot.
You know what I mean? This is the best way to do it, guys.

Speaker 1 You never have to haggle, negotiate the price of a car. You know you're getting a good deal.
They got thousands of cars available at vroom.com. You can make sure you get the ride that you really want.

Speaker 1 You don't got to settle and you don't got to just be like, oh, that's the color we have, so you have to take it. Well, no, you get to pick.
That's the best part.

Speaker 1 I got to pick exactly what I wanted to give my mom. And the best part is you trade in your old car when you buy a new one, or you can just sell your car to Vroom.

Speaker 1 And when you sell your car, you get a price instantly, and they even come pick it up from you. Vroom is the better way to buy a car.

Speaker 1 So if you're a car lover and you're looking for something unique, or you're a busy parent who's always on the go and you don't have time to shop for a car the old way, just visit vroom.com.

Speaker 1 I got to tell tell you what's great about it, too. You have a full week or 250 miles, whichever comes first, to make sure that your new ride is right for you.

Speaker 1 Of course, the car I picked from a mom she loved anyway, but it's nice to have that guarantee in your back pocket. You can go 250 miles or a full entire week.

Speaker 1 So you can buy a car from Vroom entirely online. Next time you need to buy a car, just grab your phone, go to vroom.com and check out thousands of cars.
I can tell you what club it is. Say it.

Speaker 1 Okay, Funnybone Columbus.

Speaker 1 I mean, you could have just made that up.

Speaker 1 I believe it. Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 It was in Ohio. Yeah, Columbus is in Ohio.
It is? It is. And I got it right.
Yeah, you did. Columbus, Ohio.

Speaker 1 And he's on stage. I'm at the bar.
Two beautiful girls go,

Speaker 1 hey, we just thought you were so funny. And I go, thank you.
You know, that's how I said it too.

Speaker 1 And they go, hey, we're just kind of drunk. And, you know what I mean? We want to fucking hang, you know, and we think you're cute.
It was like, you know, a present. Yeah, that was the gift.

Speaker 1 So there was a limo driver

Speaker 1 that, you know, because at that time, Paulie had always a limo driver waiting outside, right?

Speaker 1 So I went into the limo with these two girls. What's so funny? I just, I'm.
No, it sounds good. Yeah, we're in the same place.
And I'm making out with them, right? And

Speaker 1 I'm like, oh,

Speaker 1 this is, I won the lottery. Yeah.
You're making out with both of them? Yeah. This is great.
I won the lottery.

Speaker 1 And then all of a sudden the door opens. He goes, what about me, dude?

Speaker 1 What about you, dude? He grabs both of them and they leave.

Speaker 1 Now I'm sitting in the fucking limo. Saddest limo.
The saddest limo on planet Earth. But also the rage.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can I say another thing he did to me? Yeah. This is crazy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm in Shreport, Louisiana, right? He has a girl there, right, that he met. I don't know how he met her.
Beautiful.

Speaker 1 And I'm out. I went to get a hamburger or whatever.
He's on stage. I go into the green room.
The girl that he's with has my wallet in her hand because I took cash out and I left the wallet there.

Speaker 1 And she's rummaging through my fucking wallet, grabbing money and shit.

Speaker 1 I go, what the fuck, bitch?

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? That's my fucking wallet. Right.

Speaker 1 I go, I'm going to tell Polly.

Speaker 1 Polly gets off stage and I go, this girl that you're with stole money from my wallet. And he goes, so I did.

Speaker 1 And so for that whole weekend, I had to be in a car with her.

Speaker 1 After she robbed me. After she robbed you.
After she robbed me. I had to sit there with them and just look at her.
And she was like,

Speaker 1 look at me like, what are you going to do? You know what I mean? It was so painful. And this is instances of white privilege that it just has got to stop.

Speaker 1 White privilege has to stop. That was white privilege.
That was why she did it. Yeah.
Because she said, I'm going to steal from this little noodle. He's not going to do anything.

Speaker 1 But I don't like the way that that story. So who told you that story? Sandy Danto? Yeah.
Okay. It's not a bad story.

Speaker 2 I'm just saying that's what Carlos did to you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what Carlos. Yeah, that's what you did to me.
He pollied you. he pollied me.
Yeah, you well, that's this is actually a pretty good comparison, Juicy. That is sounds like a Paul.

Speaker 1 There was a Pauli story, and I don't know if this is true, but that they would take those guys to Subway

Speaker 1 and for lunch, you know, because he was just like, you know, you'll pay for the openers' lunch or dinner, and he'd take them to Subway, but he'd make them get the footlong.

Speaker 1 But he'd go, you could have footlong, but you have to eat half now, half later.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 they were only allowed to eat six inches of it at lunchtime because he wanted them to save it for the dinner because the dinner wasn't comped for openers at the club.

Speaker 1 Like the clubs will comp the headliner meal, but they won't do opener meal. I mean, some of them.
Back in the day, they didn't.

Speaker 1 They used to just go, headliners get a meal, but the opener would get like a discount.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. But he said,

Speaker 1 I got to have a half of meal. By the way, full logs were $5.

Speaker 1 He made me cry once. What?

Speaker 1 He did a prank on me, but I thought it was real. And I literally cried with panic.
Why? Because I go to the hotel. We're in Detroit, and we go to the hotel, and

Speaker 1 I open my door, and he's behind me, and he brings his luggage and everything into the room.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 What's your hotel room? Yeah, and he goes, dude, we're sharing a room.

Speaker 1 And I go, what?

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude. You know, we're not making a lot of money on this tour, man.
Saving money. And he starts like taking stuff out of his fucking thing, putting it in the drawers.
And I sat on the bed, right?

Speaker 1 There was a twin bed, and I literally literally just started crying. It was like, oh, this is going to be the worst.
Yeah. But then he was, I'm kidding, and he went to the drawer.

Speaker 1 But a piece of him, he was like, kidding, dude. And then he went down to the front desk.
He's like, I need another.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 He definitely didn't have it planned. He definitely did that last year.
I would not, I'll just, you know, I would never, I wouldn't be where I'm at today

Speaker 1 without him and his family. Yeah, that's right.
Yeah. I love them so much.
Yeah, that's right, dude. There's, there's good, there's, there's beautiful history to that that we have to always respect.

Speaker 1 But funny, funny, quirky guy, dude. He's a really interesting guy.

Speaker 2 He's such a legend.

Speaker 1 He's a legend.

Speaker 2 Like, every story is like, I don't know if this is true or not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's the stories that we're going to come off the road.
Did you have any open with anybody? Like, early on? No, man.

Speaker 1 That was like a sore spot for me for some reason.

Speaker 1 I asked someone one time, and I'm not going to say who, but I said to a headliner, I was like, yeah, man, you know, a lot of,

Speaker 1 I've never been taken out. Like, I never got taken out.

Speaker 1 And the person said,

Speaker 1 yeah, well, dude, you're pretty good for your age range. Like, you're good for your group, your class.
I think that would be my problem with you. And I was like, Yeah, but I still need it.

Speaker 1 Nobody knows me. And they were like, Yeah, but headliners would rather have someone a little bit less developed that they can develop.
And they were like, You're going to be okay.

Speaker 1 And I was so mad at that that I was like, Yeah, but that I need money. Like, I need to go out with somebody.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 not even a year later, I got punked. And when I got punked,

Speaker 1 I was able to parlay that with a shitty manager at the time who was getting me D rooms.

Speaker 1 I was playing like

Speaker 1 Winnemucca Casino for $185. I beat there.
Oh, yeah, dude. I did all that.

Speaker 1 So I was just headlining D rooms with, you know, 38 minutes or whatever, trying.

Speaker 1 So I started headlining, quote-unquote, young, not legitimized. But by the time I got to a point then when I was developed,

Speaker 1 I couldn't have gone out with anybody. So it's almost like I jumped that step.

Speaker 1 And then Rogan started taking me out

Speaker 1 five, six years ago. I don't even know.
But that's like, oh, come on, man.

Speaker 1 Amazing. No, I'm saying that was the first I ever had was Rogan was the first guy that was like, you should open for me.
And I was like, yeah, I'll fuck, I'll open for you.

Speaker 1 I remember the first time I saw you at the store. Yeah.
I know, yeah, you told us. Yeah.
No, but I, I, I watched you. I was like, oh, no, that's a given.
But I said, you know what?

Speaker 1 You know, the moment that I had that you had with Rogan, I will say this. When he took me, we played Chicago theater, and I went back home to Chicago, and

Speaker 1 the stage manager said, I was looking at the stage, and I was like, God, so big. It's unreal.
And he was like, you'll play it. And I was like,

Speaker 1 okay, dude. Like, yeah, okay.
And sure enough, then I went back and played it, you know, a year ago. So those moments are like, like Bobby was saying before.
Look at the snow in front of you.

Speaker 1 Like, that's, you should soak it up. Because those are, that's why, it's amazing.
Yeah. It's incredible

Speaker 1 to be able to be a part of that. But yes, no, I got to skip over,

Speaker 1 I skipped over that featuring thing for some reason. I, but I was so jealous, man, all my friends in my class were going out with people.
But every comic has their thing, like you have that, right?

Speaker 1 But because I used to open for dice sometimes, oh, like that would have been so fun. Mencia, Paulie,

Speaker 1 but I never got to do festivals

Speaker 1 as a young comic. I just never was invited.
You know, so it's like, you know, everyone has their thing. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 like oh why i wish that why didn't that happen or whatever but your path is your path no yeah and that's where there is no direct path like you like you didn't know you don't know you don't know you didn't know and don't know what's to come this came and this wasn't planned you know what i mean i reached a point where i was like i'm not gonna quit so even if i'm just playing bars you know for the rest of my life then i'll just do that and i'll be happy doing that and then I got the job and met you guys and a lot has happened

Speaker 1 my manager will not stop talking about you. Really? Oh, my God.
Does she remember my name? Let's talk about.

Speaker 1 Does she know her name? What? Does she know her name?

Speaker 1 Yeah, she's going to be able to do it. There's something going on.
She's like, is Lindsay coming downstairs?

Speaker 1 I was like, who's Lindsay?

Speaker 1 No one is named Lindsay.

Speaker 1 No, you know

Speaker 1 Jessica. Jessica.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about what happened to your manager, by the way. All right.
Within the first hour. Oh, this is concerning.
Within the first hour, we go to get food.

Speaker 1 She wants to smoke a cigarette, borrows a cigarette from the bartender, borrows a lighter from the bartender. Who was the dishwasher's dishwasher's lighter, right? He needs that lighter.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you're washing dishes, I'm smoking. You're smoking.
I'm smoking. Yeah.
So gets it from the bartender who got it from the dishwasher.

Speaker 1 She goes outside, has a cigarette, comes back in within seconds, goes, I lost the lighter.

Speaker 1 You just were smoking. Where would it be? So we're turning it upside down.
She's emptying her purse, her pockets, all this stuff. And the bartender comes over, good looking guy.

Speaker 1 My God, right? Holy shit.

Speaker 1 They were all good looking. And he comes over and he goes, hey, can I get that lighter? And she's like, I'm so sorry to say this.

Speaker 1 I lost the lighter.

Speaker 1 His face was so funny.

Speaker 1 His face was like, Are you keeping it? Because you just smoked outside. Three minutes ago.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then so he goes, and he literally goes, the funniest thing, he goes, I guess I'll go tell the bus boy or the dishwasher, you lost this lighter.
Like, you know, I'm mad.

Speaker 1 He He has to wash dishes. His job is already fucking annoying.
Yeah. And then he goes, hey, what's up? And the guy's like, oh, she lost your lighter.
He's like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 He's so mad. And guess where it was? She was sitting on it.

Speaker 1 Sitting on it. So that's the first, like, that was the first time I went, hmm.
That's a little weird. Yeah.
Airport. Airport.

Speaker 1 So I'm sitting there with Jetsky, and we're like eating the nice restaurant. He has a nice pizza.

Speaker 2 Bobby's giving me all this wisdom about my career and show business.

Speaker 1 And I could see from afar

Speaker 1 running around in circles, sprinting. Like she's running one way, the other, and I'm watching her going,

Speaker 1 what the fuck is she doing? Yeah. And she's sweating, right?

Speaker 1 And she comes and goes, I don't know when

Speaker 1 my phone is.

Speaker 2 And she's like, do you know where it is?

Speaker 1 No, Abby, we're eating. Where's my phone? Yeah, yeah.
And then she goes, she pulls out her computer. She goes, it's here.
Right?

Speaker 1 But I don't know where here is. So so then you had to leave the fucking cable and go find where was it?

Speaker 2 It was at a

Speaker 1 we found it pretty fast, a gate agent had it, yeah.

Speaker 2 I, and she could not, she was like, Why does the gate agent have it? And I was like, Someone probably found it, yeah, and gave it to a gate agent, yeah.

Speaker 1 Thank God, somebody just gave they could have just removed the sim and got a phone, yeah, dude. She's multiple, and then what the bag with the bag.
She they had to check her bag because they're

Speaker 1 all right, all right,

Speaker 1 and then she was like, Hey God, is it gonna be on the plane or night? She sprinted out the window, but

Speaker 2 my favorite part was every time it happened, she goes, I swear this never happened.

Speaker 1 I swear this never happened. It felt like a sitcom character's tagline.
You know what I mean? Like a sitcom character? Like every time something's like, like, you know, glue all over the place.

Speaker 1 And she's like, this never happened.

Speaker 1 Commercial break. I mean, it was so insane.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was concerning.
But Vancouver is so, it was such a cool city, so much fun. Oh, my God.
And then we went out afterwards.

Speaker 1 We hung out for a little bit with a bunch of friends, a bunch of people that we know. Mo Mandel was there.
Mo Mandel, Jenna Sunday, and

Speaker 1 Ted was there who made these signs for us. And then, what did I do? I said, Juice, time to go home.
I had a call first thing, eight in the morning. So I said, Juice, it's time for us to go home.

Speaker 1 I got to work in the morning. And she goes, Yeah, I'm a little buzzed.
So we get a car. And I said, Carlos, do you want to take a car back to the hotel? What did Carlos do?

Speaker 1 I think I'm going to look at it. He said it like this, too, real creep style.
He goes, I think I'm going to stick around.

Speaker 1 I think I'm going to stick around.

Speaker 1 And he said it real low, and I was like, Ew.

Speaker 1 Right. Ew.
And may I say this?

Speaker 1 I think your eyes are too big.

Speaker 1 What's up?

Speaker 1 I like my eyes. What? No, no, no.
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 I could tell you. I'm not going to name names, right? Okay.
But there was somebody in your group that obviously doesn't like them. Me? Oh, right, right, right.
Right.

Speaker 1 And you were like, yeah, I think I have a shot. Oh, and I literally went, I literally went, wow, you have to get smaller eyes.

Speaker 1 You have to get my eyes, right? Because you're swinging way, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like he's like an

Speaker 1 elementary school little leaguer, right? In the fucking big league. His eyes are way too big.
Yeah, yeah, no, there's no way there. You're saying he was at Yankee Stadium and he plays t-ball?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. No, there's no way there.
What do you think? No, it's like I played at LSU and now I'm at Yankee Stadium and I'm like, oh, this isn't, this is kind of like she's so above your league.

Speaker 1 It's unfucking believable. I agree that she's above my league, but I don't, I think I can make it to the next level.

Speaker 1 The confidence, I'm telling you, this guy's confidence is staggering. I've seen it in the past couple of years.
I feel like, oh, I'm like. What was the biggest hiccup in that whole thing, though?

Speaker 1 She was married. She was married.

Speaker 1 That's out.

Speaker 1 Delusion. But he's got, I tell you, I tell you, he's got the horse blinders on, and he was going, he thought, dude, I think this girl might dig me.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's like, and I didn't say anything because I was like, yeah, man. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I gotta, you gotta let the kid fly. I got flaked on and that's the wings.
Well, let me tell you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know how the, you know how that we've shown it on this remember the birds that we've seen that that are born on the cliff and the and the mom lets it just fall out of the they let it fall and they hit their head the whole way down and the ones that wake up are the ones that get to carry on with them but the ones that die die i'm mama bird and i and he said that he goes he's pretty he's pretty good looking i was like oh yeah and he goes i think i'm gonna try and i was like go ahead and fall on the cliff

Speaker 1 i wanted him to be

Speaker 1 you never why would i say anything oh i woke up though i woke up i'm here the next day that this is my point though he did wake up he has had a lot and he learned yeah he learned i gotta let him fall what am i what am i gonna do wow but in the future this whole conversation wrapped up yeah

Speaker 1 if here's the deal we'll take a poll in fact we should put a poll up at the show girls don't want to talk to carlos girls don't want to talk to bobby

Speaker 1 we could put a qr code up yeah yeah okay yeah that way you guys aren't fighting because fighting live fighting no no no i'm saying live for for the when girls say they they they like you guys great great.

Speaker 1 No more infighting within the family because it's going to be bad. I know, but if a girl walks up to me, she goes, I'm interested in Carlos, right? I will do it.
I mean, it'll hurt. It'll hurt bad.

Speaker 1 It'll burn, right? But I'll do it. Because that's the code.
That's the code.

Speaker 1 I know it's going to be way late by the time this airs, but did you see this video of Kid Rock shooting a gun at the Bud Light because he's all mad about that campaign? Did you see this? No.

Speaker 1 So stupid. Look at how dumb this video is.
This will be weeks after this happened. But look at this guy.

Speaker 1 Grandpa is feeling a little frisky today.

Speaker 1 First of all, gross. That's why Carlos is going to be like.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait,

Speaker 1 you know, Kid Rock looks like a culcan. He does look culkiny.
Yeah, yeah, you're very culcany. Look at that.
All right, start it over, though. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Look at this opening line. Tough opening line.
MAGA. Oh, he's got a MAGA hat on.
Wow. Wait, tough opening line, though.
Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Grandpa is feeling a little frisky today. Gross.

Speaker 1 Let me say something to all you and be as clear and concise as possible.

Speaker 1 Hmm.

Speaker 1 Fuck Bud Light and fuck Anheuser-Busch. Have a terrific day.
Guy's a big Coors Light fan, it turns out.

Speaker 1 Like, loves Miller Light.

Speaker 1 He just hates Anheuser-Busch. Hates him.
Really hates him.

Speaker 1 They did like a tiered campaign with

Speaker 1 that Dylan Mulvaney I told you about.

Speaker 1 And so this is his response to that campaign, which I got to tell you. Seems like a logical response from a well-balanced human being.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine being so mad at a campaign that you're like, go get six cases of it and I'm going to shoot it in my backyard? Not one person in his circle is like, I don't want to feel it.

Speaker 1 I don't even think you need to do that. We could could just not buy it anymore.
Yeah. If you really didn't like it.
It's like, this is basically like a Yelp review.

Speaker 1 That's on the same level to me as someone that's like, the service was unbearably slow. You're like, just don't go back.

Speaker 1 Just don't go back. How much is a bullet? How much do bullets cost? Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 For that kind of gun, I don't know. I mean, let me guess.
A bullet probably costs $1.50.

Speaker 1 That's about, it's a pretty good guess. I would imagine.

Speaker 1 Yeah, 33 cents a round. Oh.
Wow. Wow.

Speaker 2 They're really cheap.

Speaker 1 Really cheap. That was Chris Rock's best joke from the

Speaker 1 show. Just make bullets too expensive.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why is an AR-15 ammo so expensive? It's considered expensive, that price.
33 cents. Around, yeah.
Well, yeah, because, you know, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's pretty expensive, I guess.
I mean, it is in the world because you heard he just,

Speaker 1 you know what I mean? Right, right, right.

Speaker 1 But really sweet, though. I mean, really, it just feels like that's a message of love and hope in the future.

Speaker 1 Shoot a bunch of cans of beer.

Speaker 1 I just, when the video popped up on my TikTok, I was like, why is this the move?

Speaker 1 Does he live in like Virginia? I mean, it looks like kind of of rural. Where does he live? I think he lives in Tennessee.
He lives in Nashville. Tell him to come to the show.

Speaker 2 It's so weird. You talk about Chris Rock's special misplaced anger.
I like that part a lot. He's got to be angry about something else.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's 100% true. It's like, what is that? What was that about?

Speaker 1 You had to have a bad morning. Do you know what I mean? Let's go through his day that led to Kid Rock's shooting of the Bud Light, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Didn't get any sleep last night.
Yeah. Sleepless night.
You know, because his aunt Tilly is having heart surgery. Tilly Rock.

Speaker 2 Wait, his last name's not Rock, Rock, is it?

Speaker 1 It is now. For the sake of this bitch, it is.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Tilly Rock. Tilly Rock.
Great name, by the way. But his Aunt Tilly had open heart surgery.
You know that, right? This is her second one, I think. Oh, fuck.
I didn't know.

Speaker 1 You know anything about him?

Speaker 1 I'm making all this shit up. Oh, yeah, yeah, that happened.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Antilly.

Speaker 1 Oh, that Aunt Tilly. Yeah.
She's great. Open.
Open.

Speaker 1 Her heart's open. So she had, you know, she had open heart surgery for the second time.
So he didn't get good sleep, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 In the middle of the night, he woke up a bunch of times to go to the bathroom.

Speaker 1 He was rubbing his forehead a lot in stressful pain, looking into the mirror, thinking, What if this is Till Dog's last day on earth? And I didn't get to say goodbye. Because

Speaker 1 she's living in Canada now. Or where does she live? She lives in

Speaker 1 Wales. Wales, England.
Oh, she lives in Wales. Yeah.
That's so far away. Wales single-that's right, Wales.
Far. Small town.
Small town. Far.
So, so he's mad about that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Then he wakes up first thing in the morning. He goes to get out of bed, steps on one of his dogs, chew toys.

Speaker 1 Right. It goes right through his foot.

Speaker 2 But it makes the sound, so it's kind of funny.

Speaker 1 But it went through his foot. And then in the distance he heard his rooster die

Speaker 1 you know like yeah when they die in mid good morning that's a good morning right

Speaker 1 is that what they're doing well how do they do it

Speaker 1 it's cockadoodle doo yeah i know but i'm translating

Speaker 1 let's say

Speaker 1 good morning That's awesome, by the way.

Speaker 1 They actually went,

Speaker 1 good morning. Yeah, so they're doing that.
So he died in the middle of sleep. Yeah, he went,

Speaker 1 that's it. Oh, he died.
No.

Speaker 1 Didn't get good sleep. Worried about Tilly.
Steps on his dog toy, punctures his foot, rooster dies. Right.
Then what happens at breakfast?

Speaker 2 He found out his favorite show got canceled.

Speaker 1 Wow, which one is that? What show got canceled?

Speaker 2 It's this Canadian show. I actually watched it in the hotel room.
What's it called? Being Erica.

Speaker 1 Oh, Being Erica. I love that show.
Devastating. Wait, they canceled that show? Being Erica? I might shoot up a case of Bud Light over that.
Yeah. Yeah, Being Erica did get canceled, unfortunately.

Speaker 2 Well, he just started watching it, and so he didn't realize it ends at a certain point.

Speaker 1 So, on top of all these things, now Being Erica gets canceled.

Speaker 1 Okay, and so

Speaker 1 I bet his eggs. It's so funny.
It's like a show that he would not watch, but I love it. What do you mean?

Speaker 1 I mean, okay, there's no way Kid Rock watches that. First of all, the relationship between Erica and Jack, the guy in the back right there, this like constant will they, won't they?

Speaker 1 It's one of the best storylines I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 It's amazing. And their boss, Derek, who's right to their immediate right.
Yeah, this guy. Derek dies, right? It's a murder mystery.
He gets murdered. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 1 They're all smiling in the classroom now, but guess what, dude? When he gets shivved, different world. So that ruins breakfast.
Eggs taste bad, right? Eggs are going to taste bad.

Speaker 1 Is there any one black guy in the show? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Well, that's why Kidrock loves it. That's why Kidrock loves it.

Speaker 1 Oh, Kidrock loves it because it knows minorities.

Speaker 1 Better not be any blacks on that show. Oh, it's a Canadian show.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. That's where Tilly used to live.
I told you, she was from Canada and she moved to Wales.

Speaker 1 So he loved all the Canadian stuff. So then eggs tasted bad.
He had a bad breakfast, this guy. And then, on top of all that stuff, he goes on the internet, right? Oh, shit.
Here we go. And he sees

Speaker 1 this endorsement campaign for this Dylan Mulvaney with Bud Light. And it's not about Dylan Mulvaney and Bud Light.
It's not at all, is it? It's about Tilly. It's about being Erica.

Speaker 1 It's about the eggs tasting bad. The rooster dies.
The toy punctures his foot. The shower, by the way, didn't even say that.
Cold water only.

Speaker 1 No hot water because a hot water heater broke in the middle of the night. The same reason the rooster died, right?

Speaker 1 Everything was going bad. So what does he do? He grabs his AK-47, he goes out to the field, and he yada-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-case of Bud Light.
Whoa, heavy. That's what happened.

Speaker 1 That's what happened. This is the real picture.
But it's not about the Bud Light. It's not about the Bud Light.
By the way, those were his cases.

Speaker 1 He bought that for the party he was going to have tonight for Tilly's homecoming, but

Speaker 1 she was in the hospital. I have a question.
Yeah. Can you eat a rooster?

Speaker 2 You can eat anything.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 1 Can you eat a rooster? I mean, roosters can be eaten, but they're not commonly found in the marketplace.

Speaker 1 A meat is much more challenging than hens because it hasn't been bred to grow fast and heavy like broilers or fryers.

Speaker 1 If you decide that rooster sounds tasty, make sure you cook them low and slow for best results. So people do eat them.
Ah.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's all I want to know. I've never had a rooster sandwich.
You know the photo to the right in that tube? Yeah, the one to the right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just pinch and zoom.

Speaker 1 That one right there? What do you think? What word? What word? Yeah, what word do you think when you see that photo? What's one word that I think when I see that photo right there? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, gross, probably. Oh, not me.
What? Missionary.

Speaker 1 Does that not think missionary? No. No.
Okay, bad.

Speaker 1 I got to tell you, it does not look appetizing. I can't see.

Speaker 1 There's some erotic, right? Or no? Carlos, be honest. Yeah, is that erotic to you guys? Yeah, the legs, like the dark meat looks like

Speaker 1 the right. Yeah, it looks like she's getting fucked.

Speaker 2 Don't leave me alone with these guys on the tour.

Speaker 1 Juicy, I got you. You're fine.

Speaker 1 Wait a minute.

Speaker 1 That doesn't look erotic to you, Juice. No.

Speaker 1 You guys are taking an anime out. That's why the celibacy thing is not going to last.
You're getting hard-ons from.

Speaker 1 It looks like death. Yeah, that looks death.
Are there any farms we're going to on the tour?

Speaker 1 That's what me and Carls are going to do.

Speaker 2 You guys are going to fight over the chicken or something?

Speaker 1 Actor and comedian Bobby Lee was arrested today for fucking a rooster.

Speaker 1 there are some farms on the way we'll give you something yeah

Speaker 2 bobby's gonna be like what are you girls that was my rooster

Speaker 1 she said she liked me

Speaker 1 yeah bobby

Speaker 1 do you ever think that like what would we do if you and i just lived on a farm

Speaker 1 well i'd be working all day and then you'd be sleeping all day so it'd be tough yeah i do the night work there is no night work

Speaker 1 there's night work there's got to be night work yeah there they're are there fireflies Yeah, what are you going to do? I whispered them away. No,

Speaker 1 you want the fireflies. No, you want the fireflies? They're good.
Are there other ones that you don't like? Like ticks?

Speaker 1 No one wants Lyme disease. I know, but you're not going to destroy the destroyer.
I'm destroying them. Okay, you're going to go find ticks? Yeah, I'm a tick destroyer.
Okay, this is not going to work.

Speaker 1 You know what you can do for me? What? On the farm that we work on? What?

Speaker 1 I'll tell you what you could do in the afternoon because

Speaker 1 you don't have to do it in the morning. You could be a beekeeper.
Oh, I love that. You can keep our bees.
Can I wear the suit or no? You have to wear the suit. Oh, I don't want to.

Speaker 1 Okay. I'm going to be the first beekeeper to be completely naked.

Speaker 1 What if you get your dick stoned? It's fine. No, it's not.
Because they sense fear. There's no fear.
I know why you want it. Why? Because it'll swell it up a little bit.
That's fucking rude.

Speaker 1 That's fucking rude. That's fucking rude.
You just want to get a swollen bee sting dick

Speaker 1 so you can.

Speaker 1 Oh, you know what's funny? That just reminded me.

Speaker 1 Whenever the girl, Nick, that used to cut our hair in Australia on the movie, she would say, like, she's like, you need a little trim today, Andrew? And I'd be like, oh, maybe.

Speaker 1 And she goes, I'll just take a little off, just a bee stick. That's what she used to say.

Speaker 1 A bee stick. A beesdick.
Just a bee stick on your hair. And she would just take just a little snip off.
She goes, just a bee stick, not much.

Speaker 1 I was like, I love that phrase. In America, if you said that at a corporate setting, they'd be like, you're fired.
All right. You can't talk about dicks.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I'll put more chaps to come. Every time I say dick, I got to put some chaps to come.
There is a lot of work to be done on a farm at night.

Speaker 1 Give me one. Harvest, equipment, transportation, maintenance, and pesticide.
Okay, so pesticide application, that one's legit. Yeah.
Yeah, and I would do that. Okay, fine.
You'll hear the plane.

Speaker 1 Boss, boss, the plane, the plane.

Speaker 1 You're flying it, but I'm saying it

Speaker 1 to myself. If they do it with the plane, right? Like crop duster? Yeah.
I would do that at night. Okay.
This would actually be a good. But in the morning, there's so much more work to be done.

Speaker 1 There's so much more heavy lifting during the day. Oh, that's true.
We hire people.

Speaker 1 What do you think we're doing? We're going to buy a farm.

Speaker 2 Why'd you pick pick me to lift everything?

Speaker 1 Well, you got to help me out. He's sleeping.
I'm sleeping. You remember Matt Damon bought a zoo? No.
This is Bad Friends Buys a Farm. Oh, my God.
Wait, what was it called? We bought a zoo, right?

Speaker 1 We bought a zoo. Matt Damon bought a zoo.
We bought a farm. Bad Friends buys a farm.

Speaker 1 If you or someone you know in your local community has a farm for sale, please hit up Bad FriendsPod and let us know because we'd love to buy a farm. I think we should do it.

Speaker 1 Not only that, this is not a joke. No, no, this is a joke.
No, it's not. No, it's not.

Speaker 1 It is a joke. I want to buy a farm.
No, I want an animal sanctuary.

Speaker 1 Love that. I want to raise animals and stuff.
I absolutely love that.

Speaker 2 That's similar to a farm.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is. Yeah, that's what I mean.
Yeah. So, yeah, we do want a farm.
Yeah. But he means, but he wants free-roaming, he wants free-roaming animals that are not touched for use of the farm.

Speaker 1 Oh, I love that. But like Jurassic Park.

Speaker 2 But with pigs.

Speaker 1 We have the little, you know, the ride. Wait, wait.

Speaker 1 Do we have patrons that are going to come see our farm? Yeah, we have a ride.

Speaker 1 You're right.

Speaker 2 Can we shoot guns on the tour?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we are going to shoot guns. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I refuse. No, you are.
No, because I'm going to get kick.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Are you going to kill yourself? No, the kickback. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 No, it'll decide. I'll go with brain damage.
We'll show you how to do it. And I'm brain damage.

Speaker 2 I'll be your arms.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I don't think I've never done it.
It does a kickback, right? Yeah, but it's not like that. It's not that extreme.
It's not? I don't want to go pop and then a bird falls.

Speaker 1 Good shot. That's a pretty good job.

Speaker 2 What if I stand behind you and I'm your arms and I fire?

Speaker 1 Oh, you do that. Cutest thing on earth.

Speaker 1 Like you guys are in ghosts doing pottery, but with guns.

Speaker 2 But I can't see because I'm behind you.

Speaker 1 You know what I watched on the plane?

Speaker 1 It was called a new show on Netflix, like Wilderness People. It's kind of like the one that we both like, where they put them in Alaska, you know, and they have to survive the longest to make money.

Speaker 1 I love this. Yeah, but this one's wild.
I don't know the name of it, but it's.

Speaker 1 No, that's not it. I don't know the name of this show.
I downloaded it, but the wild thing was it's.

Speaker 1 To win the money, you have to be with a team. And the team starts sabotaging each other.
So, like, at the the beginning, the old one that's alone, alone is the one we used to like. I love it.

Speaker 1 Where you win a million dollars if you survive the longest. This one is you're with a team of people, five people, and you can only win the money if you're with a team.
You can't win solo.

Speaker 1 So, some people drop out, some people try to switch teams, and then other people start sabotaging other teams, like ruining their tents at night, stealing their gear. Whoa,

Speaker 1 that's a good one. It's tight, it's tight.
But they only learn later in the series that they're allowed to kind of, there are no rules.

Speaker 1 Like, at the beginning, they're all kind of playing by the, you know, the rules that you you would assume is like, we don't need to go near the other group. We fish individually.
We dah, dah, dah.

Speaker 1 But then at some point, somebody breaks the rules, steals from another camp because they're hungry. How far can you go? I can't tell you how it ends.

Speaker 1 Really? It's pretty dark. I'll go all the way.

Speaker 1 You're just going to kill everybody.

Speaker 1 Except for one guy. You need a guy or a girl with you because you need to win with a team.
Does a guy have to be alive? You can still build a team. Here they are.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 there's something about Bernie. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Can you do that? By the way, the combination of Weekend at Bernie's and something about Mary might be one of the funniest movies. There's something about Bernie.

Speaker 1 Doesn't that sound amazing?

Speaker 1 His dead body, he just says come in his hair.

Speaker 1 I combo two's movies. Wow.
But imagine them dragging him to a party with jizz in his hair.

Speaker 1 There's something about Bernie.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 1 What a great movie. It's a great movie.
What did you watch on the plane? You guys better load up your iPads to watch stuff on the bus. The streaming is going to be tough.
You better download, baby.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 2 Oh, we can't. Wait, wait.
Is there going to be like a DVD player?

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's a DVD player. Oh, you won't have to do it.
Do you have family movies? DVDs?

Speaker 2 Well, I'm hoping we can play a movie and the bus at all times.

Speaker 1 Okay, we will, but also

Speaker 1 who has DVDs?

Speaker 2 I'll bring the DVDs. I've got the Matrix trilogy.
I love it. I've got

Speaker 2 View from the Top with Gwyneth Batro. Great.

Speaker 1 Great. What else? I'm just going to watch my own.

Speaker 2 Pick up some George Carlin DVDs.

Speaker 1 Let's watch some stuff with her.

Speaker 2 I like TV on at night. Do you guys like TV on at night?

Speaker 1 No. No.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 Oh, this is going to be a long time.

Speaker 1 Can I ask you a question? Yeah, please.

Speaker 1 I never thought about this.

Speaker 1 You know, before I go to bed, I masturbate.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's a rule we didn't talk about. Yeah, yeah.
So before I go to bed every night, I masturbate. Are we sleeping on the bus, right? We are.
So, what does one do?

Speaker 1 You have to go outside, you have to go outside if you want to jerk off in the woods, yeah. Well, it doesn't have to be the woods, it can be the fields, but you have to jerk off.

Speaker 1 You have to bring a jerk blanket. You don't know about this? No, this is a tour bus staple.

Speaker 1 You got to bring a little blanket, you lay down on the ground, you bury yourself in the blanket, you jerk off in it.

Speaker 2 Okay, on the ground, yeah, you got to lay down outside the bus, yeah,

Speaker 1 or maybe you know what? I'll take this opportunity not to do it.

Speaker 1 Actually, this is nice if you want to practice real celibacy, then no ejaculation at all. Yeah, I think I'm going to do it.

Speaker 1 But if you go too long without ejaculating, you know, it starts leaking out of you.

Speaker 1 Through the digger.

Speaker 1 Everywhere. Just everywhere.
You cry it? You can.

Speaker 2 You're like, Jesus.

Speaker 1 First of all, you wouldn't even have to tell us that you're jerking off. You would just do it in your bunk without us knowing.

Speaker 1 How loud are you when you jerk off? Well, I've never done a silent.

Speaker 1 I'm ruckus. It's a ruckus.
What do you mean? You're audible when you're doing it? Yeah, I make. Yeah, of course.
Oh, yeah. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No. Nobody makes noises when they jerk off like that.
It's like harder. I do.

Speaker 1 To himself. Yeah.
I go, to the left, to the left. I like seeing.
Well, Beyonce's fine.

Speaker 1 Do you guys make noises when you jerk off? No. No, that's insane.
Everybody is quiet. When you grew up in a house with your brother and your parents, you didn't have to jerk off quietly like a human?

Speaker 1 Everyone has to be quiet when they do it. Well, I always do it in the bathroom.
Yeah, me too. But in the bathtub, though.
You still have to be quiet in there. Yeah.
You know?

Speaker 1 I'll learn how to do it. I'll be a ninja.
I mean, it's in your blood. I'll masturbate like a ninja.
I got to tell you, the most embarrassing thing about learning to jerk off in the bathroom is my dad.

Speaker 1 Like, what an asshole. We're at dinner, and I had just gone through, you know, really learning about how to do it.

Speaker 1 And we're at dinner, and like, it's quiet. And my dad has like shoveling peas in his mouth.
I remember him eating peas.

Speaker 1 And he like takes a break and he's like chewing. And he goes, Been spending a lot of time in the bathroom.

Speaker 1 And my mom was like, hey. And I was like, oh my god they've been talking about it wow it gave me the worst panic on earth dude wow and after that moment I didn't jerk off for like

Speaker 1 a day

Speaker 1 no it was it fucked me up dude it gave me so I was so embarrassed I was like but you did it through memory back then right

Speaker 1 what jerking off yeah oh yeah well back then you didn't have anything I mean

Speaker 1 computers barely loaded a porno picture it took like 25 minutes

Speaker 1 yeah we had to jerk off to the you know what I did the most actually was

Speaker 1 Victoria's Secrets. Victoria's Secret was my favorite, dude.
I'd steal that immediately. My mom never got one if

Speaker 1 never.

Speaker 1 Right. I'd give her like the holiday one.
You know what I mean? Yeah. Then I'm like, yeah, I guess I only send it out for Christmas.
It's so funny how jaded we are now. How spoiled we are, you mean?

Speaker 1 Yeah, like when it comes to that, like if you said, I'll give you a million dollars, here's a Victoria's Secret, right?

Speaker 1 You might as well just give me the Bible because I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it.

Speaker 1 Could you masturbate through a Victoria's Secret? I mean, 20 years ago. No, now.
No, no. There's no way

Speaker 1 I could probably now. I mean, I don't know.
I mean, if I went two months without doing it, maybe I can do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but not next day after watching porn or whatever.

Speaker 1 Do you need visuals, Juicy?

Speaker 2 Um, sometimes, but also I have a pretty good imagination.

Speaker 1 See, women have such better imaginations than men. Creative Harry Potter, yeah, what about the woman round?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, it was, and she was jacking off to that one, she was definitely jacking off to her own stuff.

Speaker 1 Also, your imagination.

Speaker 2 I thought you were gonna say, also, the vaccines aren't real.

Speaker 1 Also,

Speaker 1 I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 Trump 2026.

Speaker 1 No, but I do think that most women

Speaker 1 in my life that I've ever encountered can do that without porn. Don't need visuals.
Yeah. Don't need it.
They don't need it. Because their brains are more powerful when it comes to sexualization.

Speaker 1 We are weak. We are weak with that stuff.
We need to see stuff. That's why fucking men see things.
And it's like, you know, like the cartoon cartoon where they get the googly eyes and the jaw drops.

Speaker 1 It's like, because we're visual beasts. We like need the thing to be like, oh, yeah.
They don't need that. Like,

Speaker 1 women love to sometimes make love in the dark.

Speaker 1 I hate the dark. I do.
I need a little bit of a bathroom light in it. I have a floodlight on.

Speaker 1 I don't like it in the dark. Do you like sex in the dark?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think better than.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they like the dark because they don't want to see us.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? Yeah, I'm sure Brad Pitt, nobody wants to fuck that guy in the dark. I like it, you know.
You know what I I mean? No one ever fucks a hot guy in the dark. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 We're getting fucked in the dark because that's standard. Yeah, oh, that's what it is on her.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, see, dude.

Speaker 1 The problem is they don't want to see us. Yeah.
I had a girlfriend of mine who, every time she'd get up from the bed, she would cover her ass. She hated her ass.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? She put her hand over her crack? Yeah, with both hands, she would get up and just

Speaker 1 cover her ass and go to the bathroom. That's very weird.
It's weird.

Speaker 1 What is it? I never saw it. I never saw it live.
You never saw it. Well, do it it live.
Do it live. Do you think it's because she didn't want you to, like, thumb her or something? Why would I do that?

Speaker 1 Well, maybe somebody did it in her past and she's now like, yeah, yeah. Every time she gets up, she's like, well, that's a thing that happens.
Yeah, she just hated it. But do you cover your penis?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Like, if you're with, back in the day when you're with a woman,

Speaker 1 it's, you know, you, you know, wherever you are, it's lit, right? Yeah. Sometimes...
After you make love, you know, it shrinks. No.
What?

Speaker 1 It shrinks. After you make love to a woman, your penis doesn't stay hard it shrinks back to its normal state i mean i i think post post coitus i still stay pretty

Speaker 1 i don't stay hard but it stays pretty nice i mean i think it's my favorite look oh you think you like it yeah that's like my fall look

Speaker 1 right yeah when it goes when it goes down there's my bit oh you do have fall colors yeah yeah

Speaker 1 what what what what season am i you're 100 fall as well This whole show is fall. Oh, it is? Yeah, we're yellow and orange.
We're fall. Oh.
And we also have a little bit of...

Speaker 1 She's spring. She's definitely spring.
Yeah, summer spring. What's Carlos? Winter.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Winter nights. I can't even skip all the winter.
All the winter nights. Freezing.
Yeah, yeah. Ice.
Yeah. And then Pete? Winter.
No, I think. I got to be honest with you.
What's the guy? Paul Bunyan?

Speaker 1 He's.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I think Pete

Speaker 1 Pete's autumn. Oh, maybe, yeah.
Which is the same as

Speaker 1 fall. It's a different word for fall.

Speaker 1 But honestly, but autumn is different because

Speaker 1 you're different. You scare us a little bit.
I'm not going to lie. There's days where Pete comes in and I think he's going to hurt us.
I'm a little bit serious, yeah. See? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he's such a lovable creature. When you know him, you know him.
But man, oh man, there's days when I walked in today, he went, did you miss me, Andrew?

Speaker 1 I said, I sure did, bud. And he goes, I'm back from Spain.
Wow. You know, he was in Spain for like, how long were you there?

Speaker 1 One week. Was it fun? God, it felt a lot of fun.
Would you go with Andreas or no? No, I went with my family. My wife's from Spain.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 I had this incestuous thing where, like, he's with a Spanish girl. Andreas is with a Pete type of girl.
Love Spain. Span's the best.
See what I mean? And George is with Filipinos.

Speaker 1 It's like it's all weird and twisted. It's twisted.
I don't like it. I like real Americans.
What? Like true Americans. I'm from here.
I just went on a vacation. Yeah.
Yeah. Foreigners? What the fuck?

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude. Get it right.
Get it right, Dad. Get it right, man.
All right. Here's the deal.

Speaker 1 Well, I've been to Louisville. Oh, hold on.
Because Sarah, my ex-girlfriend, Sarah, is from Louisville. Louisville, Kentucky.

Speaker 1 I used to go to her house and, you know, spend the Christmases and stuff there. I love Louisville.
That's where the

Speaker 1 cool. We're going to go see the horses, by the way.
You know that, right?

Speaker 2 I've never ridden a horse.

Speaker 1 Oh, I love horses. I don't think they're going to let you on one, but we're going to go.

Speaker 1 We're going to be in Louisville this week, and then we're going to be in Atlanta. We have two shows in Atlanta.
The second show. First show sold out.
The first show sold out. Come get the second show.

Speaker 1 Second show.

Speaker 1 I love Atlanta so much. Yeah.
One of my favorite cities to go perform in. And then we do

Speaker 1 Memphis, Tennessee. By the way, we found out before this, drag is illegal in Tennessee, so we're going to be all in drag for almost the whole show.
Right. Because I think we'll get fined.

Speaker 1 Isn't that where Elvis got in trouble? Didn't he get a ticket in Memphis for... You know, where did Elvis get in trouble for gyrating his hips? He got like a ticket.

Speaker 1 Didn't he get arrested for it or something?

Speaker 1 Anyway, in Memphis, Tennessee, because Tennessee is against drag,

Speaker 1 we're going to be wearing all drag. Everybody is going to be in drag for the show.
Remember when Ozzie Osborne peed on the Alamo? Love it. Did you know that? Love it.

Speaker 1 He was banned from ever going to the Alamo. For biting a bat there, right? What?

Speaker 1 He bit a bat, yeah. But also,

Speaker 1 have you been to the Alamo? I have, yeah. It's worth peeing on.
Yeah, I want to pee on every time I look at it. I want to pee on it.
Yeah, they fought Mexicans there. Fuck that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we don't like it.

Speaker 1 They don't raid the fucking building then. In Jacksonville, Florida, that's where he got arrested.
Yeah. So stupid.
All right, so, hey, Memphis. And then we go to Norfolk, Virginia.

Speaker 1 I bet you almost none of you guys have been to Norfolk. I've been there.
You have? You played? Yeah. Well, we're doing it.
And then we're doing North Carolina.

Speaker 1 Hey, Durham, Durham, home of the Durham Bulls, great ball club. And then Charlotte after that, in North Carolina, because after that in May, baby, in May, we're going to Texas.

Speaker 1 We're doing our big old Texas run. We got two shows in San Antonio.
Houston, we're going to see his family. I want to say something just for

Speaker 1 so that we can get along. And, you know, I think we should, if there's resentments that build up or anything that we want to say, we should just say it at the time.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Because I don't want to hold in anything. You know what I mean? Yeah, are you going to tell us something now? No, I'm just saying, I don't know what's going to come up.
Okay. Right.

Speaker 1 But there's like certain things like, you know, Carlos don't do that. You know what I mean? So I just want to be able to.
Just be mindful about people's emotions. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because we're going on the road. I've never spent that much time with you.
No.

Speaker 1 No. Have you ever spent that much time with me? No.
Well, I mean,

Speaker 1 we've gone on trips together. Yeah, but that's different than this.
Yeah, this is like. Well, so I think we should have us, we should have, this will be really fun.
You know what I think we should do?

Speaker 1 Let's do a bad friend's box, put a box on the table, and it's anonymous, and you can drop cards in there anonymously about what's bothering you that's happening on the the bus. Okay, yeah.

Speaker 1 And then we'll read it off. We'll read it off at the end of the week.
End of the week. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Or after.
But let's be real about it. Let's not fuck around.
No, let's just say it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to say it.
Let's be honest and say it. Can I put my initials? Well, then it's not anonymous, buddy.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying with the full name.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but maybe I'll put his initials.

Speaker 1 Oh, see, that's what I'm saying. And that's going to be my complaint.
She always puts my fucking initials on him. How will you know? Yeah, yeah.
You won't know. Yeah, I won't know.
Yeah. This is good.

Speaker 1 Bad friends box on the bus. Bad friends box on the bus.
Come see us live. Badfriendspod.com.
Come see us so much. We're touring around all over the place.
We're in the middle of the tour right now.

Speaker 1 Love you guys. I love you guys.
Thank you for being a bad friend.