The Korean Takeover w/ Steebee, Dumbfoundead, & Peter Kim

February 20, 2023 1h 26m Episode 154 Explicit

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Hey, bad friends fans, or should I say good day mate, I'm down in Australia and we wanted to apologize to you guys for the date changes that happened on the bad friends tour, Vancouver, Spokane, Seattle, Portland, we had to shift a bunch of stuff around. So I'm so sorry if that affected you guys, you should be getting your money back if you want a full refund or you can come to the rescheduled dates we're sorry we had to do this because Bobby is traveling and shooting, I'm traveling and shooting a movie in Australia for two months so we're so sorry, sometimes things pop up and we have to change the schedule, we truly do apologize and all the Bad Friends dates are going to be released very, very.
We're so excited. We're trying to come to as many cities as possible.

But, again, we apologize if the inconvenience set you guys back at all.

You should be getting full refunds of those tickets.

Or you just can reschedule with us and use that for the new dates that we posted.

So sorry about that.

But we hope to see you guys out there from the bottom of our hearts.

We want to thank you for being a bad friend. You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.
You two are something. We're bad friends.
Listen, welcome to another episode of Bad Friends, right? The all Korean episode. Yep.
And I've been thinking about this idea since Andrew left, right? I go, what am I going to do, right? The all Korean episode. And I've been thinking about this

idea since Andrew left, right?

I go, what am I going to do, right? And I decided

to get my three

favorite Koreans in a room.

Where are they?

That's funny. You happen to be one of them.

Oh, what? I don't believe

that we're your favorite Koreans.

I haven't seen you since 2019.

You know what? I'm with you on that one.

Okay.

There's a lot of other ones you like, too.

I don't know. that we're your favorite Koreans.
There's no way. You know what? I'm with you on that one.
Okay.

Okay, look.

There's a lot of other ones you like, too.

I almost could guarantee

we could find clips

of you with Korean guests

being like,

you know what?

Serious.

Being completely serious.

You're my favorite Korean.

Two other Koreans.

You're not the fanciest one I like.

They're fancier Koreans.

Give us two examples.

Awkwafina.

Oh, she fancies.

Ronnie Chang.

He's not the fanciest one I like. They're fancier Koreans.
Give us two examples. Awkwafina.
Oh, she fancies. Ronnie Chang.
He's not Korean. Whatever, he's Asian.
He's not even Korean. I'm not Korean.
Awkwafina's half Korean, too. This is my Korean episode.
What am I fighting for? Awkwafina, right? Half Korean. Half Korean.
Still count? I'll count it. What's the other half? Steven Yeun.
Chinese or Taiwanese. Steven Yeun, David Cho, et cetera, et cetera.
I can see that. But in terms of in a situation where there's no show business and there was an apocalyptic moment where I'm like, I got to find the people I trust, right? And I can survive with, where I can feel more comfortable, where I can be the boss.
A place where I can be the boss. It would be this three.
You needed three Koreans less successful than you. No, you guys are successful.
I think that's what it feels like. He feels like the boss Korean in this scenario.
In any other scenario, you're not the boss Korean. You needed three korean subs of hollywood we're the underlings okay what scenario am i not the boss and you're you're able to hurt my feelings i'm ready for it i i don't think you feel like you're the superior korean in a room full of Hollywood Koreans.
Wow.

Wow.

Wait, this room or any given room?

No, no, no.

I'm not saying this room.

I'm talking about the Hollywood elite rooms.

With Koreans in it.

With other Koreans in it.

DDK is there.

John Cho is there.

Because he's always spoken about his stories like that.

I was in this audition room, and it was this guy and that guy. I'm not going to get the part.
That's what I heard a lot, these stories. Yeah.
He's so vulnerable right now, man. I love it.
You guys are doing a fantastic job. Keep going, man.
I love this. This is great.
I love it. Dude, stay on them.
You're doing great. This is terrible, dude.
You're doing awesome. I don't know if this chemistry of four Koreans in a room for podcasting works.
It doesn't work. It's working right now.
Oh, it's working now. It's working.
Oh, it's working. No, we're talking over each other.
Not in a good way. No.
But it's working. It is working.
Whoever wants to talk can go like this. No, there's no rule.
And let me say something to you, Mike. You can't come in here with agendas skits like

No, this isn't the truth here. Yeah, we're nothing but the truth brother We're nothing but the truth He turns into a fucking W Holy moly guacamole He did come with ideas in bits though He did come with bits I don't like it You said this is the Korean episode right? Yeah Okay so can we do my segment here? No no no I swear to God we'll do it I want to do a segment We will do a segment But we do segments toward the end of it No it.
This is perfect for now. All right.
All right. This is perfect.
So let me introduce the podcast. Welcome.
Right. And then I will introduce.
And then here's what we'll do. Have faith in me.
Dumbfounded. Right.
You're going to make some sort of introduction of his, a song. Yeah.
Make a musical thing with your, not lyrics. All right.
All right. So, got to sing this guy.
I'll take the fifth if you want. What do you mean? The lyrics? The harmony.
Yeah, just do a harmony. I'm going to introduce and then I'm going to go now it's time for and then you guys do the we have some lyrics with we have some Korean lyrics like chingos Which means friends

Boji boji that's justits. A tit, yeah.
Let's do one. Don't go mok? Don't go mok?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gochoo?

Let's do all of it.

Bural?

That's balls.

Bural?

That's what they call it?

Bural.

That's the first time I've ever learned.

Wow, look at this Korean episode, Bad Friends.

I'm learning.

Yeah.

Bural.

That's like, come here, eat my balls.

Eat my balls.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pretty good, right?

Yeah.

Bural.

Bural. Thank you.
That's like come here eat my balls Pretty good right? Yeah Right? Come over here titties? That's weird That's right Not that I would ever say it What's bitch that works Canceling Korea Yeah, they feel bad for you. They're like who is this stupid kid? You think the girls would mock me if I said that if you said it in that accent accent, yeah.
It sounds really weird. Oh, so I have to do more of a Korean accent? Yeah, yeah.
All right, so you say it, and then maybe I'll do it after. Go ahead.
Right now? Oh, no, no, we're doing the song. You're not doing the song? No, we're doing the...
I haven't even introduced the podcast yet. We haven't even started.
We did that 10 minutes ago. I have my own way of intro.
I just want to learn this real quick. But this is a part of my segment that you're already doing.

You're ruining my thing.

He's taking his co-host role very seriously.

Yeah, yeah.

All right.

You're totally taking a...

I also didn't want you in this seat.

I don't care.

I thought this was Peter.

I don't care.

But you're taking my idea.

Okay, anyway.

You're literally taking my idea.

I already planned this thing, and you're taking the idea. But that's how podcasts work.
You've got you're taking my idea. Okay.
Anyway. You're literally taking my idea.
I already planned this thing and you're taking the idea.

But that's how podcasts work.

Okay.

You got to be on your toes.

Okay.

Right?

That's why you don't plan things.

Okay.

Anything can happen.

Okay.

So you want to save this until your segment?

Well, it's so similar.

So if you could do something else.

How about this?

This is a better idea.

And this is going to exercise you.

Right?

Come up with a different segment right now while we're doing this. And that will test your craft.
Absolutely not. Yeah, yeah.
That's the thing. And there's no debate.
It's not up for debate. No! Because it's my OCD thing.
If it doesn't do it, we're gonna die. Something bad's gonna happen.
Well, let's just do this first, and then we'll do the segment. We'll figure it out.
Okay, okay, okay. So go ahead, say it say it.
I'll say it I'll say it to you as if I was saying it to you, Bobby And then I'm gonna say it to some random girl. Okay, go ahead Bobby Yeah, she don't say Bobby in the exact God, let's call her Bobby.
Just keep Bobby My thumb might throw him off Don't throw Bobby in. No extra words.
No extra shit. No extra words because I'm gonna use Bobby and then she's like my name is not Bobby It's a weird thing, right? He needs all the brain power right now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. My brain is fucked.
So go ahead. Okay.
That's good. I know that one.
Yeah. Sibar.
Yeah. Sibar.
Bural mogo. Bural mogo.
Okay. Pretty good? Yeah.
Welcome to another episode of Bad Friends, the Korean episode. We've got Dumbfound and Peter Kim, my brother Stevie Weeby in the house.
Andrew's in Australia, shooting another Hollywood movie with his Hollywood friends. John Cena and Zach, our friend.
And the guy that wrote the movie, Brian Jarvis, I saved his life 20 years ago and he can't even give me a line. But anyway, welcome to...
Not one line, but anyway, welcome to another Korean. Hello.
Hello. Hello.
We're all Koreans in the room. And we have a very special thing coming up right now.
We have a segment that my little brother, Steve B. Weavey, created.
And here's the segment. But first off...
No, he's doing the song. Oh.
Do do do do do this segment we are going to have the better speaking Korean people, Peter and Jonathan, talk to me and my brother Bobby, and we're going to try to guess what they're saying in Korean. Wait, can I...
Why? Wait, wait, wait. Why is the accent for it? It opened...
Dude, dude, dude. No, no, dude.
Dude, it opened so racist. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I didn't like it. It was so racist.
I didn't like it. It was so racist.
What do you mean? Can I say something? I hate that you created this segment and you had to say it's a segment while explaining the segment. Let me redo it.
I'll give you another shot. I think we should just jump into the song Just go The song's over.

Today, we're doing Korea time. Where the better speaking Korean people are going to say phrases in Korean and we're going to try to guess what they're saying.
You're very good. Why does it be like, Andrew never left? What? 한국 친구, Chingu Hanguk Chingu Hanguk Chingu Hanguk Chingu Stop it It's too much I love it So This game sucks I mean the premise of it Sucks so bad You know what I mean It's a great idea It's a terrible segment Ours is better No Peter liked the idea Right Peter I? I don't know what it is, but I love it.
I really don't know either. I love it.
I love the energy. He came in with so much energy.
You stopped me outside the bathroom. So let's go.
You set the rules. Yeah, let's try it.
So the rules is you got to do stuff that you probably don't think we'll know, like vocabulary. And we're going to try to guess.
Is there a buzzer? Yeah. so if you Do we have buzzers here guys? What kind of operation is this? Why wouldn't we have buzzers here?

Why wouldn't we have buzzers here?

Hanguk chinggul!

Is there an ending to the...

That doesn't really exit out.

We end it now.

Okay, so...

I guess the best out of... Is there an ending to the...
It doesn't really exit out. We end it now.

Okay, cool.

Let's end it now. Okay, so...

Okay.

So there's, I guess, the best out of three.

So I get a turn.

No, we're not a turn.

We buzz.

Oh, we buzz?

What do you think the buzzers are for?

Oh, that's right.

So you guys could go take turns, right?

And then we'll do, what, maybe five sentences?

Wait, what are we... We're saying a sentence or saying one word? No, not saying one word.
One word. Oh, one word? Yeah, what does this word mean? No, no, no, not just one word.
It has to be in the context of a sentence, like what you guys did before, right? Let's just keep it at word. I think it'll be easier.
You think you could get a whole sentence? One word. Yeah, like a whole whole sentence.
No one word. No, I don't think you'll even get a word.
Let's we can't even get a word

That's why this is a fucking wash no no you have to do it in a sentence

There's no adaptability with this guy. Okay, there's no bending.
There's nothing. It's all right where the highway I'm gonna start always been like this this kid has always been like all right.
No buzzers no buzzers. So here we'll do we'll just do that.
All right, here we go. This is sentence ready Chonyok mokja Exactly same time do it again no different sentence Okay Shimbash, you know This is the exact same time! Maybe these are too easy.
Way too easy!

Go complex. Shimbashino

Okay, all right go ahead go complex, okay

Oh, I think you might have gone a little fast when you when you go into school, okay? Okay. One point.
Hangu chingu.

Is the game over?

No, no, no.

I don't know.

Best time of three.

What do you mean?

Game over.

Best time of three.

Give me a chance.

I got it.

God damn it.

I wish he had some buzzers, guys.

Dude, why would we have buzzers?

We're not a game show.

Just for future reference.

Okay.

Hold on.

Yeah.

Me too.

Me.

Hold on.

All right. You guys ready? Here we go.
You have no lips. Oh.
Hangul chingu! Hangul chingu! Hangul chingu! Hangul chingu! Hangul chingu! Wait, did you know that? Be honest. Yeah, I did.
You did know that. I think you guys aren't paying attention to my tape side of the table.

Okay.

He buzzed first.

He did buzz first.

Was he fast?

Both of them.

He was quick draw?

Yeah, yeah.

Just a tiny bit.

Okay, okay.

Okay, fair enough.

They could watch it, too.

Are you guys judging, too?

Yeah.

And this has been fair?

Yes.

Okay, keep going.

2-0.

All right, you go.

Hot up. 2-0.
All right, you go. Serop da.
Say it again. There was no way you knew that one.
Wait, wait, wait. Say it again.
I didn't hear it. Say it again.
Say it again. Say it again.
Serop da. You have no fat? No, no, no.
I'm not going to lie. I don't know that one.
Yeah, but why'd you buzz that? Maybe it's too hard. Maybe it's too hard.
Maybe it's too hard. Why did you buzz? Hankook Chingu.
Hankook Chingu. Let's talk about Hankook Chingu.
Hankook Chingu. Hankook Chingu.
Hankook Chingu. Hankook Chingu.
Why did you buzz? You're fucking scared. You wanted to win.
He He needed one point I had no idea what you just said I had no idea What came out of your mouth my friend No I can tell by your eyes That was fear based bro That was too quick Oh my god I knew you would not know There's no way I don't know it What does that mean? What is it? I am being dumb. What is it, Peter? It means I'm really sad.
Fuck. Okay, minus one.
That was so stupid. Two minus one.
You get a negative one. I know.
I just said minus one. Right.
You're on three points ahead then. Can I give one? I'm going to give one Korean pop culture question in English, and you can answer in English.
How about that? Oh, that's one you know i mean something about koreans do you agree with like a korean i'm not gonna know it so maybe you will know you might see let me guess ready name one member of bts v yeah all right that's good two zeros two zero okay cool no more of that because that's not the game Okay, okay Korean language

You can't just do a

That's some homie shit right there, dog

You feel proud of that?

It's not even the game you fucking created

Right?

Minus one still

No, no, no, no, you're right

You're absolutely right

Minus one still

No, no, no, two zero still

No, no, I don't want to go off the game

But thank you

I felt good answering something

Minus one

No, no, no. Two zero.
No, no. I don't want to go off the game.
But thank you. I felt good answering something.

Yeah.

That's what that was for.

Minus one.

No, let's just do two zero.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I want to be fair.

I'm competitive.

Three zero.

All right.

Are you ready?

Yeah.

Oh, saguryo.

Say it again.

Saguryo.

You've never heard this one?

No.

Really?

What does it mean?

It means it's cheap. God, I fucking had an idea of that Wait, what? How? Why didn't you do it then? Yeah You really had an idea Don't lie That was 50-50 Really? Yeah Okay Sometimes like you You feel like you've heard it before In the market In the market I feel like you're more Korean than him.

You do the next question.

You're doing fucking deep.

You got it so fast.

The first two, that's what.

That's not a deep cut, by the way.

Tied.

Was that tied? Tied.

I think you guys have to keep it up like this. You guys are way too close.
You know what? Keep it up. What? So this is the height you're doing, and this is the height.
This is the same height. Okay.
So we keep it at, we keep it at, so, so. No, no, no.
Actually, there are two pictures that are exactly the yellow and the red. Can we use this? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is exactly the same. This is much higher.
Is it higher? That'll work. All right, so I said now it's fair.
So is this fair? Okay, cool, cool. Okay.
You're not above it. No.
Right here? Wait, what? Are we good? Right there, right where the top is. Yeah, ready? Yeah.
That's a hard one. I don't even know that one.
I don't know that one. Don't get too complicated.
Okay, okay. I'm full.
Yeah, I got that. Okay.
I knew that one too. 4-0.
I think Bobby really knows more Korean than Steve. I knew that one, man.
He's a fat, quicker on the bra, man. No, no, no, no, that's not what it is.
I think this segment proved I'm more Korean than you. That's absolutely not true.
4-0. I know, but I knew all of them.
You were just faster on the draw. We'll never know that, though.
Okay, keep going. No, no, we're done.
We're done. We're not going to spend an hour doing this.
No, it's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I won 4-0. That went long enough.
That really did long enough. All right, all right, all right.
Well, this is a good sport. We love that.
This is a good sport. Yeah.
I will say, though, do you think because he is younger that you grew up more Korean in your family? Like, do you know what I mean? I'm brighter. You're brighter in general.
No, no, I'm not. No, I think my brother is smarter than...
He got better grades in school. But you got beat down more than me.
Okay. Wait, what? I mean, I don't even know what that means.
In what context do you mean? Well, dad. Oh, dad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I took more.
Is that my turn? Way more. Way more.
Do you have a brother? No, my dad. I'm the oldest.
But my dad was definitely just like their dad. Like, beat me down.

Me too.

Your dad beat you too, right?

Yeah.

Bad.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, real bad?

Yes.

Were your dad's drunks?

Yeah, my dad.

Yeah, they're drunk drunk.

Mine?

Sober.

Oh, wow.

And he beat you down?

Beat me down worse than any of the drunk dads.

That's crazy.

That's a rage.

What's the worst thing he did?

One time, he chased me with a kitchen knife. And then he beat me with a vacuum cleaner.
With a vacuum cleaner? Yeah. Yeah, like one of those big hoovers.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. With like the bag.
The 90s hoover. Why'd that beat me with a ping pong table? Yeah, you're that strong.
He picked it up and a ping pong table. You're that strong.
You're that strong. Are you city fold at first at least? No.
This is a joke. It's not a big.
No he goes smash. No he did that.
I don't remember that dude. You saying that I got beat more than you? Yeah, but I don't remember the beat more.
Were you at every fucking beating? Were you at every beating? No. He was busy.
Let me tell you something. The beating of you with the keyboards, I wasn't there.
That's all hearsay. Yeah, he beat me with the keyboard.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm saying there are certain beatings we weren't witnessing of each other, right? But how did he hold, he's a little guy.
How did he? I just see strength. I just see strength.
Thank you so much. That's the Korean rage.
Yeah. So your dad.
That's pretty bad. What about you? Jonathan.
I mean, you know, golf clubs, more like obvious kind of beating tools. You know, shoehorn.
But you know, just a shoehorn. Shoehorn is like this big.
No, no, no. It's a longer shoehorn.
What's a shoehorn? Like the where you like you put it in your shoe so you don't cucko your back oh we never had do we have a shoe horn growing up no yeah encyclopedias oh that yeah oh it's a longer that long one the long was it metal yeah yeah my dad was an alcoholic so he would definitely beat me drunk yeah my mom that's. That must have been nice.
You know what I mean? What do you mean?

To have an alcoholic dad.

Because he was inebriated to like.

Yeah.

Because at least he looks stupid when he's beating you.

My dad's stark sober.

He's memorizing the Korean alphabet while he's beating me.

Right.

What did you do wrong?

Everything.

You were a bad kid?

No, I was the best kid.

That's the thing.

Oh, you got straight A's?

Why are you crying?

I was a smart kid.

I really was.

But he just had issues.

He just wanted more out of you?

Or what was it?

I think he was just upset.

He was just upset with his own stuff.

And I think my mom was just too much of a boss bitch for him. For him.
You know the word 자존심? Yeah. Like pride? I think 자존심 was hurt every day because she made more money than him or something.
Oh. Pride.
And it's like immigrant status. You were the only kid, right? No, I have a younger brother.
But the older brothers do get beat the Can I ask you this though? What? Were you gay then? What do you mean? I was always gay. Yeah, but out.
Out. No, no.
He started beating me when I was like young. Oh, okay.
Straight and gay equal beatings. Oh, yeah.
Okay. Okay, okay.
Yeah. Oh, I have another segment idea.
I don't know what segment that could spark right now. I'm all ears.
So, 한국 ching-gu, 한국 ching-gu. Part two.
Part two, guys. It's called kondanghi time.
I didn't know your sexual preference, so this is what I want you to do. Literally, you're going in an area.
That's very uncomfortable for everyone

You can't say go the time and then look at the gay guy and go

That's just like what's going on

But your

But I would love to do that. Hungo, jingle, hungo, jingle.
Hungo, jingle, hungo, jingle. So we'll judge our butts? Yeah.
He loves them. He loves them.
Yeah, what? So we're all gonna be like usual suspects I don't know. We do individual.
Not in a row. Individual butts.
Yeah, so you go first And then I do scale From one to ten Okay but Skin Yeah of course Raw skin Yeah raw skin Yeah what do you think Through the pants I don't want to see holes No you gotta come here though Don't show me your hole I'm not gonna show you my hole I don't wanna see crack I don't wanna see Why why why why You don't like the hole I'm not gonna show you my hole No You don't like the hole No I love the hole I love the hole But I don't wanna see your hole Why, why, why, why? You don't like the hole? I'm not going to show you my hole, man. No, you don't like the hole.
No, I love the hole. I love the hole, but I don't want to see your hole.
Yeah. All right.
Hey, hold on. You know what's interesting about this, too? This is interesting because you're judging three Korean butts, too.
Yeah, these are Korean butts. You know what I mean? Not that you know about Korean butts.
I'm just saying there's three Korean butts presented. How often do you see Korean butts in a row? All the time at Korean spots.

All right, the Korean spots.

How do you want me to pose?

Do you want me to do doggy?

I said no hole.

Don't give it that.

If you bend over,

you're going to show hole.

Don't bend over. When you bend over,

you don't show hole?

How are you not going to show hole?

Yeah.

No, don't show hole.

How about this?

I don't want to show my hole. I don't want to show my hole.

I don't want to show my hole.

Just straight up.

Is it optional?

Let me say it.

If you're going to show hole, you have to put the whole thing through.

Like your junk.

What do you mean?

Your package, the whole thing through all the way to the back.

Oh, so you have to tuck your own dick.

Yeah, and show me everything.

I noticed that. Show me a buffalo pill.
Yo, show me a to tuck your own dick behind and eat your everything. I noticed that

show me you a buffalo bill.

Show me you a buffalo bill.

But backwards.

Buffalo bill backwards.

I'll tell you what,

Dom,

I've seen a lot of

Korean men's butts.

Yeah.

I've never seen

Korean men's

buffalo bills.

Whoa.

Do you want to switch

it to buffalo bills?

But you want to,

but...

I'm not doing

my tokamok right now, bro. I'm not doing my

Tokumuk right now, bro.

I can't do my Tokumuk.

It's your game.

What do you want to change

to Bucks or Buffalo Bills?

It's the same thing.

You just got to turn around.

You have to turn around.

So reverse Buffalo Bill.

You got to label the episode

Buffalo Bill versus Bucks.

So go ahead.

It's truly.

It's your choice.

You can do Buffalo Bill or not.

Dude, I'm crying.

Peter, it's your decision.

Thank you. Bill versus but.
So go ahead. It's truly.
It's your choice. You could do Buffalo Bill or not.
Dude, I'm crying. Peter, it's your decision.
Whatever you want to do. It's your game.
It's your game. What would you rather see, Buffalo Bill or but? But for sure.
Okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay.
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Collector passions.

What's the criteria?

Plumpness, like shape, plumpness, and go ahead.

What are the three criteria?

Break it down.

Proportions.

Does it matter?

Proportions.

Girth.

Girth, interesting. Yeah.

Oh, the stick out.

The stick out.

And then, how do you call it, like all the shit. Yeah, okay.
And then how do you call it like bounce ability? Bounce. So we got to jump.
We got to do a jiggle. Because most times you want you want to butt that like pushes back.
Yeah. What's that shaky thing they do with the butt? Twerk.
Twerk. You got to twerk.
Twerk. You got to twerk.
Why can't you twerk? How about just a jump? How about just a jump? Guarantee you they've never seen three straight Korean men twerk. I'm going to break something, guys.
Hold on, man. If we all do it, do we all have to twerk? I'll do it, too.
I'll do it, too. So it's fair.
I don't want to see yours. I don't want to see yours.
Why? Because I'm gay? You can't see a gay butt? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yes.
You can't see a gay butt? He needs a shot too. No, I might like it.
You might. I might like it.
So why? You can like it. We work together.
We have a project together. Oh my God.
Oh, you might not. All right.
I'm dead. You might not.
Okay, go ahead. That's when they see this episode.
Okay, you might not. All right.

You might not.

Okay, let's go.

All right, go ahead.

Let's see it.

Let's go.

All right. Do I have to twerk?

Yeah.

No, you don't have to twerk.

You don't have to do whatever you want.

If you want to win.

If you want to win, you go twerk.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, God.

Oh, all right.

That's nice.

Dude, this is jiggling like crazy.

Dude, this is maximum jiggle.

I don't know. Oh, all right.
That's nice. Dude, this is jiggling like crazy.
Dude, this is maximum jiggle.

Are you getting it?

Are you guys getting this?

I got it.

Steve.

Oh, my God.

Oh, it's so stupid.

Very good.

That was beautiful.

All right, Johnny.

Go ahead, Johnny.

I don't want to jiggle it like that. You don't have to.
He's going to win. That was for him.
That was for him. Jesus Christ.
Dude, yours is going to be amazing, too. I saw him yesterday.
He pulled his ass out yesterday, too, which is great. This is why he did the segment.
Okay. Wow.
Nice. All right, Bobby.
I'm not doing it. Why? No, Bobby.
No, fuck you. You have to do that.
Bullshit! Bullshit, man! Bullshit! I don't have to do it. Internet's a competition.
You're the fool that did it. That's bullshit! I am a battle rapper in hip-hop, and I just did that right now Dude, you got fucked.
No, no. That's on tape.
I'm not doing it. I'm a man.
I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it.
Bobby, Bobby. He was on Wile and Out.
Come on. You gotta do it.
Are you serious? Peter, Peter. I thought I saw you.
Don't show. No, stop.
Bobby, I don't want to see that. I don't want to see that.
Bobby, I don't want to see that. You're going to get canceled.
Bobby, ew! Oh my god! Oh my god! I can't believe it. I hate that.
This is mind fuckery because he had me begging him to do that. I'm like, no, you gotta do it! The fact that you even pulled it a little more through.

I pulled it through, dude.

Oh, shit.

All right, Peter, it's your turn.

No, Peter doesn't need to do it.

He's a judge. Peter, do you want to do it?

Judge.

I'll judge.

Oh, yeah, judge.

Okay.

But did you take a good look at all three?

I did.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Unfortunately.

So break down the criteria and why you decided.

Okay, listen.

Yeah, why you decided.

Okay.

But performance matters.

Yeah, performance matters.

Performance matters. Okay, remember that.
Okay, coming in in absolutely dirt last is Bobby Lee. Why? Honestly, the butt is cute.
Yeah, but I committed to all this. The butt is cute.
I pulled it through. I know.
From behind, you never seen that before. I know.
That was rough to watch.

That was so sad.

It's the creativity of it.

That was so sad.

The fact that you reached around for yourself and threaded your penis through.

I know.

You think I get some points for commitment?

No.

You're on the board.

I thought you were going to do one thing.

I'm third.

You're third.

So I'm so sorry.

Oh, fuck.

If you didn't do that extra piece, the pulling, I think you would have came in second. Oh, wow.
Oh, wow. Because it was looking plump and nice.
No real scars or anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, good, good. Thank you.
So it backfired. It backfired.
It did. It backfired.
It did. You know how they say go big? It hurts.
Yeah. You went a little too big.
I went too big. Yeah, yeah, you went a little too big

I went to it. Yeah, it's the pulling of the head of the penis just too much

I was like

There's not enough there self- so i had to pull it through no i felt so self-conscious about it i cannot believe i improvised you went hard okay so i'm gonna send that to ca see yeah i gotta say second um seconds but had great shape looks like there was um some nice definition and great just presence.

I'm going to give that to Dumb right here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Number two.

And number one, Stevie Weeby, that jiggle, that twerk.

Yeah.

I'm so jealous.

But if he didn't do that jiggle, that jiggle was crazy, right?

Yeah, don't quote me on that, but you got a fat ass. You got a dumper.
No, no, no. Like in a complimenting way.
You know what I'm saying? You got to give up. You have a bubble butt, bro.
Honestly, you'd be a fun bottom, I think. If you ever ventured, you'd be fun at it.
What are you talking about? You'd be a fun bottom. I don't know what that means.
What do you mean? You don't know what a bottom is? Bro, I'm telling you right now, if you were in prison, you wouldn't be lonely. No.
You'd be popular. You'd be popular.
You'd be very popular. So they would want to do it to me? Oh, the jiggle.
Why are you mad? Why are you mad? You went up with the game! Adam, you were up there like you wanted first place.

You started it.

Yeah.

We wouldn't know the right jiggle.

If you didn't jiggle it.

Yeah, go ahead.

Since we went that far, let's take it to Buffalo Bill.

No, we don't need it.

We don't need it.

No, we're not doing any more of this.

No, stop it.

What's wrong with you, dude?

We're done.

Yeah, that portion.

Isn't it fun, guys?

It's okay.

Yes.

It was okay.

Every single person involved was like, it was all right.

All right. Yeah, that portion isn't it fun guys.
It's okay Yeah, fine. I don't know that's not the right word I would use yeah Yeah, but but is this the first time you've ever shown your I do a game and I did a torque video On the Instagram my Instagram dude.
I was losing followers. Dude, they got offended.
Really? No. No.
Yeah. But you could have gained some too, probably.
Did you gain any? No. Are you sure? I don't know.
Yeah, you don't know. I have never whored myself out to a gay game show like that, if you're asking.
You won nothing. I want absolutely nothing.
Well, you took silver.

Okay, yeah, thank you. You know what?

Some of this might be picked up

by like queer blogs

and you might get like gay fans.

Really?

Who buy your music and stuff.

Well, I do thank you

for talking up my ass

because they're not going to see it.

So all they have is your work.

You guys.

All they have is your work.

Great ass.

But have you been noticing that?

Because I have been working out.

It looks, you know what?

I will say it looks like

a little like my boyfriend's ass who has like a... I don't know how I feel about that.
No, no, let me look at it. I know his boyfriend, right? He's hot as fuck.
He's hot. Like, don't even fucking.
He's got like a rectangle, but like a workout butt. Defined.
Is he Asian? No, white. No, he's a white guy.
But has a jawline. Yeah, you have like a square.
Think of Brad Pitt's face, but then put it on the butt. Is that handsome? Yeah, yeah.
No, the butt. No, I was going to say, but your boyfriend, she's a handsome guy? Yeah.
He's very handsome. How big is, like, he has a lot of girth? His dick? Yeah.
Well, Steve, Steve, stop. I'm not just telling you.
Peter, excuse me. Wait, why do you want to know? Excuse me.
It's like calling my girlfriend, right? Does she have a deep pussy? All right, let's edit that out. Sorry, guys.
No, no. I'm really interested in why you want to know.
I was just curious. It's crazy that you wouldn't even ask that.
No, I'm just curious. That's all.
Yeah, I'm curious about a lot of things. I wouldn't ask that.
That's insane. Well, that was fun.
Oh, I have another segmented idea, though. You guys want to hear? Oh, my God.
What is it? No nudity. 69? 69? That's where I draw the line.
Yeah, I draw the line at 69. I draw the line.
I'm not doing 69. That's where I draw the line.
I draw the line there. Your mind went right to 69.
You said 60 and I go not, no. No, I was gonna, we're not gonna do it.
I was gonna say, cause it, I got an idea cause he was like, you know, he's been working out and I'm like, let's do a thing where we take off our shirts and see who- No, I'm not doing that. Yeah, yeah.
No more of that. What is wrong with you? I'm so sorry.
Yeah, he's a normal human being, what the fuck are you talking about? I'm sorry. I know I'm not, I just thought it'd be fun, that's all.
Yeah. I'm so sorry about this, Keith.
You never met my brother before. before.
I didn sorry. Yeah, he's a normal human being.
What the fuck are you talking about? I'm sorry. I know I'm not.
Yeah, yeah. I just thought it'd be fun, that's all.
Yeah. I'm so sorry about this, Pete.
You never met my brother before. I didn't mean to offend you.
No, first time meeting. I didn't mean to offend you.
No, I'm not. And you're going hog wild with him.
Oh, no, no. I apologize.
I apologize. I mean, anyone listening right now, if you were to put any of us on stage, who would get the biggest laughs? This fucking guy.
Yeah. He's a killer.
Oh, for sure. How long have you been doing comedy? 10 years.
He's a killer. Killer.
Wow. Thank you.
He's unfollowable. Can you follow him? I have a struggle.
No. You've struggled.
I did struggle. Opening up for him.
Are you opening up for him? I'm sorry. What did you say, man? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. He'll be for me, bro.
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
I'm still legit, dude. How did you guys meet? Yeah, how did you guys meet? From that, I think.
Yeah, he opened for me one time, and I was like, oh, shit. Could I ask you something? So no matter how hard someone kills, just because you're a veteran, you will open up? Is that how it works? No, he'll close.
I'm saying you'll close.

I mean, yeah, yeah.

So you won't ever open up because of the veteran status.

Well, I mean, if I'm booked as a headliner and people are there to see me,

I'm not going to go, Peter, can you close the show?

I mean, that's insane.

You're the draw.

Okay, I see.

I see.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like if U2 was doing a coliseum and Coldplay open,

U2 would never go, hey, you guys close it.

Which comedian would you not be offended if they were like,

can you open for me?

I've had people do that.

Tom.

Tom Segura did it in December.

Oh, yeah?

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

Because he does stadiums and stuff now,

and it's like, I wanted to play a stadium.

Whoa.

So like 15,000, 20,000 seat stadiums.

I just want to see if I can.

Does that feel the same?

Doesn't that feel like crazy because it's not like in the rhythm is the rhythm is different right you have to do broad strokes and um the timing is different but um it was fine i was i was doing 15 20 minutes and it was pretty crazy fun whoa yeah because i was also proud of the guy i was like oh my god i can't believe yeah that this is where you're at now it's amazing when you see your friends do that you go from you know open mic to over the years become that it's really just you know inspiring and it's I'm constantly in awe of it you know but it's great yeah you know he just did 30,000 seats whoa it was just for music, rap. That's amazing yeah that's like an amphitheater dude right it's like outdoor festival yeah it's cool outdoor festival and let me tell you steve um if you want to date a hot asian chick in la you can't because he's got them oh i know i dude i know he gets the girl i can't go out with any asian chick because he's oh dude he's he's got him you've got the you got him on my heart it's a on lockdown no i know you know right he thinks that i'm gatekeeping you are gatekeeping no no you're like the brad pitt dude you're like the brad pitt of korea town no no you're like the brad steve unis well of course Eunice, but he's real close by.
I was. Steve is married.
Yeah. Yeah, he's married.
Yeah, yeah. But I was saying this, though.
I recently, like I told you, I'm going through that kind of healing self-care stuff. He knows.
He's kind of been helping me out a lot just off of substance, all this stuff. And I was struggling with this kind of thing with dating and going out and meeting girls because i feel like it throws me off of my routine of self-care yeah and i'm kind of navigating that i don't know if you have any advice well i mean i think because i'm going through the same thing and i think it's um you know you get these little dopamine rushes when you a girl says yes to a date hook up.
You know what I mean? It's all the same things as drugs and alcohol. To escape the moment and not feeling certain things.
And it's definitely an addiction in a weird way. I've been kind of looking, why am I depressed, I think? Because so-and-so canceled a date or, you know what I mean, or whatever it might be.
But it's like I'm really taking a look at myself, you know, in terms of like why I'm doing these things. And I'm also hanging out with people, women, that I normally would never hang out with because they're hot.
That's your new drug. Yes.
That's your new drug. Yeah.
And it's not a good place to be be wait wait you're saying you're all of a sudden hanging out hot women no but no but i you know before i did but like now it's like you know you know there were some that wasn't the first thing you know like now it's like they're hot but they also have some sort of mental disorder you mean not being real or they have like they're an alcoholic right or they have some behavioral issues yeah and lifestyle issues that i that it goes against my own you know beliefs and ethics and you know i mean but i stay in it because i want to get the you know i mean yeah the thing and it's like you you're aware that This is happening. look at your life and you go why am i doing this is is this love no then what is it sex probably you know i mean and it's like you just kind of analyze it and at the end of the day i don't think it's healthy well she also at that point does she have an influence over you a bad influence could she possibly peer pressure you into doing something that's harmful for yourself You think? No, no, no You don't think so? No, because when it comes to that I'm pretty adamant about my routines And going to meetings And doing all that stuff What about weed? What about weed? What do you mean weed? Oh, sorry, I boogered I had a booger right here Dude What if You said I had a bo.
Dude. What if you're hanging out with her, right?

And she's casually.

And those are my grab their throat.

Drink some water first.

And those are my grab their throat and say, I got a booger right here.

I haven't seen that happen.

I'm so sorry, guys.

My grandmother died.

Dude, I'm close.

I'm close, dude.

I'm close.

You guys know what Kare is? No. No, you know all the words, man.
I don't know. It's phlegm.
Yeah, that's what it is. It's like when old Korean...
We're old. We're that age.
We're old. You're not that old, dude.
Well, I'm getting up there. I'm getting up there.
What if she casually... This hot chick you're hanging out with, casually is just smoking a joint.
They do. And it doesn't – They vape.
And it doesn't tempt you? No. At all.
Why would it – I don't want people to change their behaviors. Okay.
Okay. You know what I mean? It's like, you know, I'm just dating people.
Yeah. And then sometimes it's like, you know, it's not the right, you know what I mean, fit when it comes to a a relationship but you're in it because it's fun and they're nice people you know i mean but it's like are you looking for another relationship or are you it's funny because i'm trying to have fun when i broke up with kalala i was like you know this is i'm gonna go on a run but now that i'm doing it i'm like no i think the reason why i've always been in a relationship was because of the feelings I'm having now.
That doesn't fulfill me, right? And it is nice to have one person that you can share a life with, you know? So, yeah, it's so funny. We went from jiggling butts to this serious relationship.
To fucking therapy. It's insane.
But I love, this is what I love about it. I have another question.
Don't we're not doing another game

No, but games

Unless the game's really good. No, well, I thought they were all pretty fun

No, can I bring a penny who's penny

Don't bring a penny Who's Penny? You know who Penny is. Steve.
Steve.

Yeah.

Don't bring up Penny.

That's stupid, dude.

Now, where does she fall into place in this whole thing?

Because I saw your post.

That's your video game girlfriend, right?

Wait, what?

He plays this game called Stardew Valley.

And he has this girlfriend in the game. Wife.
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That's forthepeople.com slash badfriends or pound law pound 529 from your cell. I didn't mean to offend you.
You're so disrespectful. I know.
So do you. Everything you do.
Why do you. Is there a fantasy.
What is it about that? Like the CPU not like another person on the other end of the family. Yeah yeah yeah CPU.
Yeah yeah., okay. So does that...
What do you mean? Does that bring you comfort?

There is comfort there.

There is comfort.

Yeah, she's always there.

Dude, isn't that crazy?

It's like her.

That's crazy. Yeah, in Stardew Valley, there is probably eight women that you can marry to choose from.

And I've played it probably 30 times.

And I always either pick Penny or Hayley.

Why?

Well, what does Penny...

What does Penny...

I'm going to know if it was real. Yeah, it's real.
Why are you trying to hit him like you're dad? Why did you get so upset? It's just ridiculous. Why did you bring it up then? I don't know.
Because I'm worried. I'm worried about you.
What are you worried about? It's in the game. It doesn't matter.
It's weird. It's not a behavior.
It's in the game. Everyone doesn't want to play the game, man.
You find that ridiculous? You just came up with those segments before this when we're twerking in front of us? You just jiggled your ass in front of me. But that's funny shit.
People are going to love it. Yeah love it.
It's going to bring the numbers, baby. Huh, Andres? That's what the numbers are, baby.
I'll tell you about Penny, though. Penny is a school teacher.
What grade? Well, you know, the two kids in it, they don't really age. But I'm assuming they're like sixth grade, maybe.
Yeah. And she's a teacher.
Yeah. And then here's what's great about Penny.
Is you're running around in the town, right? And Penny always sits underneath this tree. And she's like kind of like with her knees tucked.
And she contemplates life. You know what I mean? And so, and I'm like, I just'm like I just like usually the in the library Haley is like the episode of Black Mirror but gone wrong video game.

You're afraid that he's going

to get lost in like a relationship.

Yeah, dude.

In like a VR relationship.

He's not going to leave his home

and he's just going to be

oh, Penny's there

and 18 hours in.

It's crazy, dude.

I could see that happening.

You could, right?

Yeah.

We're not,

I mean, you're not too far from me.

But there's one girl

that I will never marry

and I can't figure out

why I don't.

Who?

Her name is Emily, and she's Haley's sister.

That's so insane.

It's not insane.

Is there a personality trait that she has you're not attracted to?

She has blue hair, right?

I like that.

That doesn't even feel real.

I know.

It doesn't feel real.

And also, she's just not sexual looking.

What do you mean? She looks like an animal? Aren't they pixelated? They're pixelated. Of course they're pixelated.
What do you mean she doesn't look sexual? It's in her dialogue. Right.
Yeah, you're right. She's not mentally turning you on.
See what Emily Starr does. That's Emily.
You know what it is? She's giving off queer vibes. That's what it is.
She's giving off queer vibes That's what it is It's queer vibes She's a queer coder She's like an engineer Can I say that? I think she's hot But you haven't seen Penny or Hailey That's emo And can I also say this? People have done People have done real life You know what I mean? A cosplay, cosplay. No, real like art.
Yeah. Who is this? That's Penny, that's my wife.
She's a nerd. But look at realistic, realistic paintings of them.
Really? That's what you look at. Oh, that.
Yeah. Oh, okay.
So that's Penny. So that's Penny.
That's Penny. In realistic form.
I think you like the wholesome kind of look. You want a bookish.
Yeah, I do. I like pale legs.
And like long legs. She had long legs.
Who's the other one? There's a show us Emily Like Haley Haley Haley. Well, you look at Haley.
Yeah, I tend to be pretty attracted to lesbian tomboy realistic Like Erica Jane this one. She's a slut.
That's why you like her. Yeah, but here's what also about Emily I don't like there's a guy named Clint in the game and he's the blacksmiths, right? And one day he writes you a letter saying can you give wait is this Clint? Yeah Clint is hot.
Oh my god Ginger beer no shirt. Yeah, this is exactly He's a loser What, dude? Why? He's bald? loser.
Yeah, this is Andrew. What? He's buff? You're not guessing because it's Andrew.
He's a full-blown loser. Why? Dude, he's not Elliot or Sebastian.
If Andrew could create his own character, this is how he would create it. Yeah.
Absolutely. No, we have a guy, Carlos, that sometimes works here.
He was talking about a glory hole. He went a couple of times to a glory hole.
You don't know believe you don't know the glory hole you know what Gloria hole is Oh, it's like we stick your dick through the hole. Yeah Or thank you.
Yeah, or your ass. Well, no glory hold.
Are you? You could fuck through the hole no he's saying directly to the hole is not a glory hall No, your butt on the your butt you put your butt like what you you did before like this but yeah but how thick is the wall well there's a hole it's just the bathroom stall size i would i would assume yeah but still this much so how do you get the length to do it the length of what do you mean you're dead well i mean you're so you stick your butt against a hole yeah and then you spread your cheek like this there's a wall yeah or you know what i mean and then there's a dick but there's still this much room yeah okay cheek like this. There's a wall.
Yes. You know what I mean? And then there's a dick.
But there's still this much room. Yeah.
Okay, but it's doable. Yeah.
Okay. Or mouth.
Yeah, mouth is what I so like. Don't ever do that again.
Dude, I tell you, don't ever do that again. Let me see how small you are.
This is the biggest. That's the biggest.
Can you believe? Do it towards me. Do it to me.
Oh, yeah. You would love it.
And I love sucking dick. That's the problem, though.
Wait, wait, wait. I love sucking dick That's the problem though I love sucking dick but my mouth is tiny Why was that the smallest open wide I've ever seen in my life I'm like my jaw hurts Your whole face is opening wide But your mouth is straight to the same I love sucking dick but my mouth is so small But black dudes must go This shit's tight Because your mouth is so small No no I dudes must go, this shit's tight.
Oh, I mean, yeah, of course. Because your mouth's so small.
Let's go back to Stardew Valley. No, no, no, let's go back to Stardew Valley.
Seriously, guys. Dude, that's where it came from.
This shit's tight. I hate both topics.
Most men think it's tight. Yeah.
Whoa, so they come easier. Sure, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa.
I thought of another segment. Try it.
Don't do that segue into that segment right now, please. I don't even want to know what it is.
We're not doing it. What about you guys? Have you ever been with women who have smaller mouths or bigger mouths? I don't even think about that.
Yeah, I don't even think about that. Maybe we have small dicks and we don't know.
You know what I mean? Even if the mouths are small, it's probably just throwing a hot dog in a gigantic Hallway What do you like about that Is just the suction About sucking dick He likes the taste I love it Do you like the taste What What do you mean He likes the taste Is there a taste in vagina Of. Is there taste of vagina? Of course there's taste.
Yeah. Of course there's taste.
There's taste to it. It's delicious.
There's a little bit of like a roll of pennies. She can pop pie.
What kind of fucking vagina you eat? Kind of thing. Yeah.
I mean, if I sucked anything on you, it would have tasted like something. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Your finger, your toes.
Do you cherish, like, do you... Eye contact.
Do you stare into the eyes, like eye contact? Depending if I like them or not. If I like them, no.
So do you focus on the head or the... Steve, I don't know.
I don't know what you're doing. You guys brought it up.
I don't think so. I think you brought it up.
I think I'm talking about Stardew Valley and Penny. And you guys didn't segue into this.
Steve's getting gay sex education on this podcast.

Oh, no, I went to Glory Hall.

You went to one?

No, I'm just saying,

I'm trying to look back at the conversation and I segued into Glory Hall

and it brought us to this fucking debacle.

Oh, and I said you could put him out there too.

Right, right.

What I'm saying is that our friend Carl then.

We'll go back to Glory Hall.

My friend Carlos has been to a couple of Glory Halls, right?

And he's like,

I'm pretty sure it's women on the other side, but it could be a man.

But do you think that that's a gay thing?

It's never a woman.

Exactly.

It's never a woman.

That's what we thought.

So you don't know who's on the other side?

That's the whole point of it.

Yeah, what?

That's the whole point of it.

Oh, so it could be a man sucking your dick.

It usually is.

You never heard of it in English.

You never heard this term?

I thought that there was you. you can at least,

you know,

it's like,

you know,

you can,

you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can thought that there was you can at least it's like straightforward like who's on the other side. Ricky Jarvae tells a story about in England a young man goes to a glory hall penis comes through, he sucks it and when they leave, they both leave it's his dad dad He didn't know what his dad's dick looked like

No, do you know what your dad's dick looked like?

I don't know what your dad's dick looked like

Dude, that is therapy

Years of therapy after that

Shut up, that can't be real

This is a joke

That's what he says

What are the odds of that happening?

In London? Come on

I'm just saying, but if it did happen

What would happen, you think? How did they know? Would you go to dinner that night? Would you go to dinner that night? I don't know, man. Yeah, yeah.
We're not eating hot dogs. But how would they even find out right after they came outside? They came outside at the same time.
He must have seen a shoe, the corner of his shoe. But is the whole thing about that supposed to be like an animated anonymity

Yeah, yeah, it's just randomly bumped into each other the dad probably went oh son and the son couldn't say anything because he has come in his mouth

So when the guy sticks his dick through the hole hole Does he just lean Again I don't know Why do you care Don't do that You do your own style Does he lean Yeah yeah So does he look down Or does he just Lean against the wall If he's a cop You do that Right I don't know What is he frisking you to What the fuck are you doing I'm just saying No you know what he's doing He's fingering his own butt Like he's like Going like this And fingering it This is the gayest podcast I've ever done in my life, and everything was initiated by you guys. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Axie's gay me. Thank you.
It's fun, though, man. This is where the fun happens.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So everyone has their own style.
Am I the first gay person you've ever talked to? No. Oh, okay.
No. Okay.
My neighbors get, yeah. But as far as detailed things, I don't.
But is that the first Korean gay dude you've ever talked to? I think so. I think so.
That's why I'm a true. That's why I'm a true.
Represent. Woo! Hanguk Chingu.
Hanguk Chingu. Hanguk Chingu.
Hanguk Chingu. Yeah.
So are you fascinated by it? I'm fascinated by it. Okay, why? So do you like, so there's guys on the other end that like to do the sucking.
They get off on that. What's in it for them though? Just a mouthful of cum, right? No, it's, you know.
It does sound like you're interviewing the first gay person. You'll never talk to a gay person.
That's what it feels like though.

I haven't asked these detailed questions, so they get off on that. Yeah, yeah.
It's an adrenaline rush. I don't know.
Why do you get turned on by anything? Could I ask a specific question? Let me ask a specific question because you're talking about he might be the first gay Korean that you've talked to. Is there something like specific to a gay Korean person that like culturally that you've gone through in your experience? With another Korean? With another Korean or in your life with family or friends.
Like there's a gay part, there's a Korean part, right? And there's culture in both traditions and stuff. But is there something that's been particular with being a gay Korean at like a Korean function or something? Or like maybe an Asian gay event? Oh, there's plenty of those.
There's plenty of that. Is it an Asian gay event? What happens at an Asian gay event that's different? Everybody fucks.
Oh, it's like an orgy. Oh, it's a straight orgy.
I mean, pretty much. But it's a very...
Imagine like... It's like Gold House, but for For orgy It's a Gold House orgy Gold House orgy Yeah Oh It's like that except You know Who knows like if Everyone gets down But like It's A gay Korean person And I have never had a relationship And I've always been Why are you laughing? Sorry I'm sorry No why Why the fuck are you like I know I have gay Koreans I know but like i've never been in a relationship with

one why it's just never presented itself right you know so like and i've been in my current relationship for eight plus years so like it do i think it could be like really cool sometimes yeah absolutely because like there's the shortcut right everything you know all your cultural stuff you like the same foods i see you could talk shit there's so many times i'm out with my non-korean partner and i want to talk shit about the restaurant or something or whatever and i'm just like oh god i gotta like fucking whisper you know what i mean like do you think your parents would like you with a gay asian partner more than a non-asian partner a gay korean oh specifically korean because my mom can't speak English so she I she's I've been she she's known my partner for eight years and she's always like okay all right right right cuz that's it hi Eddie and your dad passed but if he was alive how would he feel right now do you think did you even come up to come out to him no no he died before I yeah oh wow yeah You know how his dad died? Can I say it? Yeah His dad died in a Korean spa What? Oh, wow And that's why They scraped him too hard Skin came off No, seriously? No, not serious. No, no, no.
What the fuck?

No, no.

I don't know, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Seriously. So, hey, man, was he in the steam room or what was going on?

He was in the tub.

In the tub.

He was in the tub.

But he had health issues as well.

So it wasn't a drowning thing.

No, no.

Okay, okay.

No, not a drowning thing.

Yeah.

But they did find him, like, floating on the...

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

And that's why we came up with this TV show.

Yeah.

Right?

Because I go to spas and his dad died in one and we just kind of started talking about that world and then we came up with a show and now the show is dead as well so that's a really good job who knows though we there. I had to.
It was right there.

Who knows, though? Who knows? We don't know. Now you're going to be positive about it.
Because that made me angry. It's a revenge thing.
Yeah. It's not fully dead yet.
Okay. Okay.
Yeah. All right.
Let me say something. If I saw a room full of Korean men in an orgy or whatever, I would probably cry with pride.
Oh, really? Yeah, because, you know, I grew up with all these old school beliefs and these strict fucking rules about other races and about, you know, gays and trans and all that stuff. And it's like, I always hated it.
I was like, no, mom, Filipinos and Vietnamese people are normal. Yeah, I mean, are you normal? They don't just watch our children.
Yeah, I mean, they're not, you know what I mean? They're like, I could marry one, right? You know what I mean? If I was gay, it's not the end of the world, right? It just happens to be I was born that way. And they had these stringent ideas about what it is to be a Korean person.
And I always hated it always hated it you know yeah so it's like if i saw that you know i mean i would probably burst into tears i i agree i think it would i think it would blow my mind in a good way in a good way you know i'd be like whoa and then the fact you know they right after the pie grab soup together oh yeah yeah replange the yeah yeah itish the protein. Yeah.
Replenish the protein.

It just, yeah, it blows my mind to think about the possibility.

What's wrong now?

No, nothing.

I just, I had a great idea.

Is it the field trip?

Yeah.

Stop for a second.

You know what's fucked about your field trip thing?

What?

Ever since you had the field trip idea.

Try to guess what it is.

No, no, stop, stop.

Let me just finish what it is.

Right.

Ever since you had the field trip idea, you haven't listened to a word anyone said. I have.
I'm on Alexa Pro now. It's helping me.
All right. Yeah.
So what did we talk about? Okay, field trip. The field trip.
Yeah, what are you talking about? The field trip My mind went blank Your mind didn't go blank You didn't know, you didn't listen I was just going to say No, it's on the topic though It has to do with the topic You don't listen, but anyway No, but I'm getting better, right, guys? We have no idea. We have no idea.
Yeah, yeah. You're crazy.
You're a crazy person. I'm lost.
Can we go? Is there a place maybe in Koreatown where it's a gay spot and we could do a field trip? Yeah. And we could go in together in our robes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve.
Yeah, go ahead, John. No, I'm just like, I just keep getting forced into these gay scenarios.
I know. There's nothing wrong with it.
I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm just saying.
Yeah, yeah. It's just weird.
I'm just curious. Very curious.
Very curious. We spent 30 minutes talking about it.
That's a problem. He always goes to it.
I thought the field trip was about something else. You know what I mean? And that's not a field trip, really.
It's about kids. I know.
At this point, we're just being gay. At this point, we're just being gay now.
Has it been gay? It's been gay. Can I ask, do you think you're more like, you get booked more for TV stuff, right? I'm sorry.
Sensitive topic, man. Let's go.
Do you feel like they're looking at you more of a TV to feature guy, a movie? Yeah. Okay.
So defensive. I'm not being defensive.
No, no. It's just like I felt bad.
I'm going to stop questioning. No, no.
Keep going. Oh, no.
I want you to keep going. What is the difference? Like how did when they look at you a certain way? Like a movie guy to a TV show guy? Not relevant.
Is there? Has been.

Is there a difference?

What do you mean?

Like the way,

like, oh, he's a feature guy.

He's only in movies.

A character actor guy.

Oh, there is a thing, right?

Well, I'll give you an example, right?

So I did,

I'm going to say it.

Fuck it.

So Nick Kroll and Ike Barinholtz

had a movie or TV show on Hulu.

Right.

The History of the World.

And I did it.

Oh, yeah.

That was with Ronnie, too, right?

I didn't know that.

Okay.

I didn't know it.

He's in it, too.

I know.

I saw the poster.

I thought you guys were both in the same skit.

We are in the same skit.

Yeah.

History of the World.

Yeah, yeah.

But he's Genghis Khan in the skit.

And I'm just some random guy.

Oh, no.

No.

Are you serious?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he's on the poster. I'm not.
Oh, no. It's not.
Oh, no. It's fine.
I love the guy. He's hot and relevant, right? But there's a side of me.
It stings a little because I know those guys, but I get it. But can I say this? The war's not over.
Why do you say war? Yeah, why is it? When was this? Are you declaring war? Yeah, the war. What war? Dude, there's a war in your mind.
There's a war in my mind, dude. There's always been this war with you.
What is your problem, man? Wars are great. Wow.
I love wars. I'm Korean.
Yeah. Right? Is that Korean being a revenge? Yeah, it is.
What is that about Koreans that it's got to be combative?

It's the Han, yeah, yeah.

It's the what? Han. It's just the combative.
It's not combative. I believe it has something to do with oppression.
Yeah. The Japanese oppressing us, right? Yeah.
It's like years of historical trauma, right? It carries on into generations, right? And that's why there's so many Korean revenge movies And we love them we're obsessed with we're obsessed With them and it's like Comeuppance right and we winning At the end justice justice Right and we don't like authoritarian Situations right And so we I still I have that it's not a bad Thing it's not unhealthy I don't think Right right because I love I still I have that. It's not a bad thing.
It's not unhealthy, I don't think. Right.
Right. Because I love everyone.
I really do. I love Andrew working.
I love Ronnie working. I love when you got that Will Ferrell movie.
I'm so fucking happy for he's in a he's the villain in a Will Ferrell movie with him and Awkwafina. Right.
Whoa. Yeah.
So you're killing it. And we've done two movies back to back this year.
Yeah. And see you on set i'm so proud of you right but there is a little bit of a hon there where i i like to compete you know i mean i like to go you know what the war's not over yeah you know and it's like i don't think that's a bad thing can i ask you do you think other races have Hantu? Not like us, I don't think.

Huh?

Not like us.

There's other ethnic groups that have been fucked over as well.

Native Americans, black people in America.

Jews.

Do you think they have Hantu?

Yeah, Jews.

Do you think they have Hantu?

I think that if you look at, I don't want to name certain ethnicities,

but there are some ethnicities that there's real wars going on where there are camps where certain camps cannot be in the same club as another camp because there'll be actual physical violence right we don't have that okay do you think we've held back whenever you do that i love it okay the asian comes i love it did that really sound Asian? A little bit Okay I love it Do you think it's Okay, let me ask you this Do you think it's because Our people Start over, man up Alright, just the time What the fuck This is I'm starting to have Han right now I know He's about to beat his ass With this fucking bubble tree He's serious Han Oh my god That's what I'm trying to get to You're Han, dude Do you think it's because we've suppressed That's why we have Han as opposed to other people Like still in the war Fighting in the war Do you think maybe like we're not fighting Outwardly We have it inwardly Like we have that war going on We don't know how to express it. Except for when we're drunk and singing.
Yeah. That's the only time you will ever see Koreans being emotional.
Right. But I think there is something along the lines of we don't know how to express our emotions.
And we have this thousands of years of being fucking run over over. Yeah.
Like Manchuria,

et cetera.

So like,

it's like a chess.

We play chess.

Yeah.

But,

but look,

we try to trade,

play chess. Now we,

we,

we take that energy into success.

I mean,

look at,

we're such a small country,

South Korea,

right?

Right.

But look at the companies that we have.

Hyundai.

Kia.

Yeah.

I mean,

Samsung,

Samsung, et cetera, et cetera. Look at the film industry there.
Yeah, that's all of the music. Right? And it's a small thing.
I think that's because of that Han of like. Oh, the work ethic too.
Yeah, and just showing, you know what I mean, expressing ourselves in that way. Right.
And for many years, I'm not saying that I think that every race is funny, but there was a little bit in LA where Koreans in the beginning were the funny stand-ups. Now you got Ronnie and all these other people, and they're very funnier even in many ways.
But in the beginning, it was Koreans. You know what I mean? I think you had Margaret and Henry Cho.
So do you feel like they won the war? Who? The Chinese in the end in entertainment. Or does the war continue? Does it ever end? Does it never end? The war never ends.
Not in my lifetime. The war ends.
My war will not end. But your war will end when you think you won.
I'll never win. He'll never win.
So the war continues. It's a war.
It's a constant war. No, that's the thing.
I constantly put myself in a position of war. Toized I always do why do you do that because it motivates it drives you it drives to drive to keep going yeah yeah that's very interesting that you say that at least you know how interesting no I'm aware I'm aware of what well we all do it in some way we do it yeah yeah I asked that because I asked I ask that because I ask myself, too, like, when does the war ever end? You know? And when do I feel like I won the war? I don't think there ever will be.
It's never ending, yeah. Well, that's why I'm not having kids so that it doesn't, like, translate it.
Oh, you pass it down to the other generations. Right, right, right.
So I'm chopping it off. Breaking that generational.
Yeah. Yeah, it ends with me.
I just realized this. There's two types of Koreans.
Yeahoreans yeah right we're the other type we're all one type you always say this we're the you said the dirty asians right we're the dirty ones we are what do you mean dirty like like a little bit of the misfits of it all oh no the young that's not what you mean what are you what are you saying then like when when dad was a kid right he you know his friends went to school and stuff and my dad she shined

Yeah, but you also stole pickpocketed right yeah, and he survived. He was a street kid right?

Yeah, you'd pickpocket sell things and he had his little

Mary band of you know mean and there's just you know he was he's not an aristocrat

He's not high and mighty mom has a little bit of the royal kind of like snooty you mean thing

She likes what you you know designer shit

But dad is more like us. I think you know, I mean, oh, but I have a little bit of the designer stuff

But it's like when I'm in a room with the yuppity Asians, right? You know what I'm talking about start getting angry

Don't get angry. I just I'm a whale aware.
I'm with them. Oh, you do? Oh, yeah.

What's a dead giveaway then, like, when you're hanging out with them?

What's clothes, number one?

The way they dress, right?

The way they handle themselves.

Like, some of them will never do Tiger Belly because of the topics I bring up.

Wait, you're talking about, like, Hollywood curry?

Hollywood?

Oh.

Right.

I saw. Oh, I thought you were talking about in general.
In general, too. But in Hollywood as well.
There's a division. There's Koreans.
I don't want to name. There's Koreans that won't do tiger belly? Whoa.
Name names. I want to know.
I can't believe that. You got to be political, man.
100% true. They're all laminated on a poster.
Oh, there's a shit list? Really? Andreas, did they're laminated on a poster oh there's a shit my point is is that yeah there is we're one time yeah do you believe that I don't know. You can't read it.
I'm sorry. My point is that, yeah, there is, we're one type.
Yeah. Do you believe that or no? Yeah.
I would. You're street for sure.
I think so. Yeah, I consider.
There it is again. My family, I consider to be kind of yellow trash, if you will.
Us too. Growing up.
Yeah, we were yellow trash. Our dad, for sure.
Yeah, yeah, yellow trash. Yeah.
Can I tell you a story? My dad was, I mean, this is not a segment or anything.

He had an apartment on his own, like, when he was getting his clothing store.

And I went to visit him.

So my dad had clothing stores in San Diego.

But no, this is Arizona.

I know.

So he would drive to, like, Sacramento and stay there in an apartment. Yeah, Riverside.
But he was scouting out places in Arizona, and I didn't know he had this secret spot. And I'm like, he's like, all right, let's go to his apartment.
He literally had the bare minimum. A mattress, a hot plate, and just a razor.
That's it. And a bar so far.
Oh, my. So sad.
And so it dawned on meed on me i'm like oh this is the way he would live

without meeting mom this is him you know that's you no i have i have a computer no i have a computer you need it for your business i know but what do you mean i have i have stuff even when we go shoe shopping dude don't bring up my shoe preferences is it plain jane yeah you just want brown plain jam.

I go, look at these fancy ones.

No, I don't like it. You're very Bring up my shoe preferences.
Is it plain Jane? Yeah, you just want brown plain Jane.

I go, look at these fancy ones.

No, I don't like it.

You're very like plain.

What's wrong with that?

I think you kind of transitioned more in the Hollywood designer end,

and you kind of hung back because it's a designer end.

There you go.

You were trying to put me on the shoes, the designer.

What is that, Golden Goose?

Exactly.

Chucks ain't good enough?

You gotta pay $8 million

for Golden Goose?

They're not.

Because they look like Chucks, but they're not?

Dude,

break them out. Let me take a look.

Those are ridiculous.

Let me take a look at those.

I would wear those

every day of the week.

Those are Chucks?

No, I'm... Look, those are ridiculous.
Let me take a look at those. You don't even get to touch on them.
I would wear those every day of the week. Those are chucks? Those are real.
Stop for a second, all right? It's bullshit what you're doing. What do you mean? Because one night I was wearing these, and you go, where'd you get those? I was placating to your desire, so.
Oh, so you were lying then? I wanted to make it feel good a little bit. That's sweet.

That makes me so angry.

That's really nice.

Let's move on from the show.

But at the end of the day,

Chucks.

I'm more that.

Okay, good.

Congratulations.

Thank you for being a bad friend.

The Korean Takeover w/ Steebee, Dumbfoundead, & Peter Kim

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