The Korean Takeover w/ Steebee, Dumbfoundead, & Peter Kim

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Speaker 3 Hey, bad friends, fans, or should I say, G'day, mate? I'm down in Australia, and we wanted to apologize to you guys for the date changes that happened on the Bad Friends tour.

Speaker 3 Vancouver, Spokane, Seattle,

Speaker 3 Portland. We had to shift a bunch of stuff around.
So I'm so sorry if that affected you guys. You should be getting your money back if you want a full refund, or you can come to the rescheduled dates.

Speaker 3 We're sorry we had to do this because Bobby is traveling and shooting. I'm traveling and shooting a movie in Australia for two months.
So we're so sorry.

Speaker 3 Sometimes things pop up and we have to change the schedule. We truly do apologize.
And all the Bad bad friends dates are going to be released very, very soon. We're so excited.

Speaker 3 We're trying to come to as many cities as possible. But again, we apologize if the inconvenience set you guys back at all.
You should be getting full refunds of those tickets.

Speaker 3 Or you just can reschedule with us and use that for the new dates that we've posted.

Speaker 3 So sorry about that, but we hope to see you guys out there from the bottom of our hearts. We want to thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 2 You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 2 White dude,

Speaker 2 listen welcome to another episode of bad friends right the all-korean episode yep and i've been thinking i've been thinking about this idea since andrew left right i go what am i gonna do right and i decided to get my three favorite koreans in a in a room where are they

Speaker 2 that's why you happen to be one of them oh what yeah i don't believe that we're your favorite Koreans. There's no way since 2019.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay, look. I have all another one song.

Speaker 2 I almost could guarantee we could find clips of you with Korean guests being like, you know what?

Speaker 2 Serious, being completely serious, you're my favorite Korean. To other Koreans.

Speaker 2 You're not the fanciest one I like.

Speaker 2 They're fancier Koreans. They're that young.

Speaker 4 Give us two examples.

Speaker 2 Aquafina. Oh, she's fancy.
Ronnie Chang. He's not a Korean.
Whatever. He's Asian.

Speaker 2 What are we fighting for?

Speaker 2 Aquafina, right? Half Korean. Half Korean.
Still count? I'll count it. Yeah, yeah.
What's the other house?

Speaker 4 Stephen Yoon.

Speaker 2 Chinese or Stephen Yoon.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 2 David Cho, et cetera, et cetera.

Speaker 2 But in terms of what I, in a situation where there's no show business and there was an apocalyptic moment where I'm like, I got to find the people I trust, right?

Speaker 2 And I can survive with, where I can feel more comfortable, where I can, like, you know, be the boss.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? A place where I could be the boss, right? It would be this three. You needed three Koreans less successful than you.
No, no, you guys are successful.

Speaker 2 I think that's what it feels like.

Speaker 2 He feels like the boss Korean in this scenario. In any other scenario,

Speaker 2 you're not the boss Korean. You needed three

Speaker 2 Korean subs of Hollywood.

Speaker 5 We're the underlings.

Speaker 2 What scenario am I not the boss?

Speaker 2 You're able to hurt my feelings. I'm ready for it.

Speaker 2 I don't think you feel like you're the superior Korean in a room full of Hollywood Koreans.

Speaker 2 Whoa, wow. Wait, this room or any given room? No, no, no.
I'm not saying this room. I'm talking about this room, you are Hollywood elite rooms with Koreans in it.
With Koreans. K is there.

Speaker 2 John Cho is there. Because he's always spoken about his stories like that.
I was in this audition room, and it was this guy and that guy. I'm not going to get the part.

Speaker 2 That's what I heard a lot, these stories. Yeah.
He's so vulnerable right now, man.

Speaker 4 I love it. You guys are doing a fantastic job.

Speaker 2 Keep going, man. I love this.

Speaker 2 This is great.

Speaker 2 I love it.

Speaker 4 Dude, stay on him.

Speaker 2 You're doing great. He's terrible, dude.
He's doing awesome.

Speaker 2 I don't know if this chemistry of four Koreans in a room for podcasting works.

Speaker 7 It doesn't work.

Speaker 2 It's working right now. It's working.
Oh, it's working now. It's good.

Speaker 2 Oh, it's working. No, we're talking over here.
Not in a good way. No, no, no.
But it's working. We make a rule.

Speaker 4 Whoever wants to talk can go like this. No, there's no rule.

Speaker 6 And let me say something to you, right?

Speaker 2 You can't come in here with agendas, skits.

Speaker 2 Is this Scissor Brothers?

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 you want to eat hot peppers or staple gun or nutsacks to a wall? All right. No.
This isn't Scissor Brothers. All right.
I'm not saying that.

Speaker 2 We speak the truth here.

Speaker 4 Are you saying Scissor Bros ain't the truth?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I am saying that. We're nothing but the truth, brother.

Speaker 2 We're nothing but the truth. He turns into a fucking W do, you know what I mean? Holy, moly, rock-a-moly.

Speaker 2 We are

Speaker 2 ideas and bits, though. He's not bits.

Speaker 2 I don't like it.

Speaker 4 You said this is the Kareen episode, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Okay, so can we do my segment here?

Speaker 2 No, no, no.

Speaker 2 I just want to go with it. We're going to do a segment.
We will do a segment, but we do segments toward the end of it.

Speaker 4 This is perfect for now.

Speaker 2 All right, all right. This is perfect for now.

Speaker 2 Let me introduce the podcast. Welcome.
Right, and then I will introduce, and then here's what we'll do. Have faith in me.
Dumbfounded, right?

Speaker 2 You're going to make some sort of introduction of his, a song. Yeah.
Make a musical thing with your mouth. Not lyrics.

Speaker 2 All right. All right.
So

Speaker 2 harmony. Harmony.
Didn't he have to sing this guy? Oh, I could, I'll take the fifth if you want. Yeah, yeah.
You'll take what do you mean the fifth? Lyrics or? Oh, you mean the harmony?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, just do a harmony. Right, so I'm going to introduce, right, and then I'm going to go,

Speaker 2 and then I'm going to go, well, now it's time for, and then yeah, yeah, should we have some lyrics with Should we have some Korean lyrics like Chingu's, which means friends, you know, like Korean?

Speaker 2 That would be nice. That would be good.
I like that. Now we're getting there, though.
All right,

Speaker 2 maybe some

Speaker 2 chingo,

Speaker 2 yeah. Dong, dong, okay.
Boji, boji, that's his pussy. Yeah,

Speaker 2 vagina, like vagina. What's a chut? Chut? Tits.
Tits. A chit, yeah.

Speaker 2 Donko bong.

Speaker 2 They'll do all the best. Purar.
Purar.

Speaker 2 That's balls. Balls, purai.
That's what they call pural.

Speaker 2 Pudal. Pura.
And that's the first time I've ever heard that. Wow, that's it.
Look at this Korean episode Bad France. I'm learning.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Pudal. Purai.
Pudal. Pural.
Pural. Yo, yo, yogi wa.
Pudar moho. Pudar moha.
That's like, come here and eat my mobile. Eat my balls.

Speaker 2 Pretty good, right? Yeah. Yogi wa, you jud.

Speaker 2 Right? Jud is titty. Yeah, yeah.
Come over here, titties. That's weird, right?

Speaker 2 That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's um, not that I would ever say it, what's a bitch?

Speaker 2 Shangyun? Shibalyun. Shangyun Shibun.
Shiban.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, Shibal. Huh? Yeah.
What's that word? What's that? Pur.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Shibal.

Speaker 2 Puder Mugo.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 2 That does work.

Speaker 2 That works. Pudder Mugo? That works.

Speaker 2 It would get canceled in Korea. They'd be banned from Twitter and all that stuff.
No, they would feel bad for you. They're like, who is this stupid kid?

Speaker 2 You think the girls would mock me if I said that? If you said it in that accent, yeah. Yeah.
It sounds really weird. Oh, so I have to do more of a Korean accent? Yeah, yeah.
All right. So

Speaker 2 you say it, and then maybe I'll do it after. Go ahead.

Speaker 2 Right now? Oh, no, no, we're doing the song. You're not doing that.
No, we're doing that.

Speaker 2 I don't even introduce the song again. We haven't even started 10 minutes ago.
45. I have my own.
I have intros.

Speaker 2 I just want to learn this real quick. Okay.

Speaker 4 But this is a part of my segment that you're already doing.

Speaker 2 You're ruining my thing.

Speaker 2 He's taking his co-host role very seriously.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah, all right.

Speaker 2 I'm totally taking Peter. I also didn't want you in this seat.

Speaker 2 I don't care. I can't introduce Peter.

Speaker 4 I don't care.

Speaker 2 But you're taking my idea. Okay, and

Speaker 4 literally taking my idea. I already planned this thing, and you're taking that idea.

Speaker 2 That's how podcasts work. You got to be on your toes.
Okay, okay.

Speaker 2 That's what you don't plan things. Okay, okay.
Anything can happen. Okay.
Okay. So you want to save this until your segment?

Speaker 4 Well, it's so similar.

Speaker 5 So if you could do something else.

Speaker 2 How about this? This is a better idea. And this is going to exercise you.
Right. Come up with a different segment right now while we're doing this.

Speaker 2 And that will test your craft. Absolutely not.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 And there's no

Speaker 2 debate.

Speaker 2 No, because it's my OCD thing. If it doesn't do it, we're going to die.

Speaker 2 Well, let's do this first, and then we'll do the segment. We'll figure it out.
Okay, so go ahead. Say it the way you're going to say it.

Speaker 2 I'll say it to you as if I was saying it to you, Bobby. And then I'm going to say it to some random girl.
Okay. Okay, go ahead.
Bobby. Yeah, she's.

Speaker 2 Don't say Bobby in there because I don't know what to do. I'm going to call her Bobby.
Just keep Bobby in there.

Speaker 2 Maybe.

Speaker 2 Don't put

Speaker 2 No extra words. No extra sense.
No extra words. Because I'm going to use Bobby and then she means that Bobby.
And it's a weird thing, right? He needs all the brain power right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 My brain is fucked. So go ahead.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's good. I love that one.
Yeah, Shibar.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Shibal.

Speaker 2 Purar Mogo. Pur Mogo.

Speaker 2 Okay. Pretty good? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Welcome to another episode of Bad Friends, the Korean episode.

Speaker 2 We've got Dumbfound and Peter Kim, my brother Stevie Weeby, in the house. Andrew's in Australia shooting another Hollywood movie with his Hollywood friends,

Speaker 2 John Cena, and Zach, our friend. And the guy that wrote the movie, Brian Jarvis, I saved his life 20 years ago.
He can't even give me a line. But anyway,

Speaker 2 welcome to not one line, but anyway, welcome to another Korean Añosio. Anyasio.

Speaker 2 We're all Koreans in the room. And we have a very special thing coming up right now.

Speaker 2 We have a segment, right, that

Speaker 2 my little brother Steve B. Weeby created.
And here's the segment.

Speaker 2 But first,

Speaker 2 he's doing the song. Oh.

Speaker 2 Welcome to Hong Kong

Speaker 4 segment.

Speaker 4 This segment, we are going to have the better speaking Korean people, Peter and Jonathan, talk to me and my brother Bobby, and we're going to try to guess what they're saying in Korean wait could I

Speaker 2 why

Speaker 2 it opened

Speaker 2 dude

Speaker 2 dude it opened so racist

Speaker 2 I didn't like it it was so racist what do you mean could I say something yeah yeah I hate that you created this segment and you had to say it's a segment while explaining the segment

Speaker 2 let me redo it we give you another shot while you get one more. I think we should just jump into the song, you know? Just go.

Speaker 2 Hangu, chingle, hangu, chingle. Hanguk chingle, hanguk, jingle.
Hanguk chingu, hangu. No, the song's over.

Speaker 4 Today, we're doing Korea time,

Speaker 4 where our the better-speaking Korean people are going to say phrases in Korean and we're going to try to guess what they're saying.

Speaker 2 You're very good. Okay.
Why do you feel like Andrew? Hangujingo.

Speaker 2 Andrew never let you. Hangujingo, Hangu Jingle.
Hangu Jingle. Hangu Jingle.
Hangu Jingle.

Speaker 2 Stop it. It's too much.
Nightmare, I love it. I love it.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 this game sucks.

Speaker 2 I mean, the premise of it sucks so bad. But let me see.

Speaker 2 You know know what I mean? It's a great idea.

Speaker 2 Peter, you look better.

Speaker 4 No, Peter liked the idea, right, Peter?

Speaker 2 I loved it. I don't know what it is, but I really don't know either.
I love it. I love it.

Speaker 2 He came in with so much energy.

Speaker 2 Let's go. You accept the rules.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 So the rules is there.

Speaker 4 You got to do stuff that you probably don't think we'll know, like vocabulary. And we're going to try to guess.

Speaker 2 Is there a buzzer?

Speaker 4 Yeah, so if you where do you have buzzers here, guys?

Speaker 2 Operation.

Speaker 2 What do you think we have buzzers in?

Speaker 2 Jingle.

Speaker 2 Jingle. Hunger, jingle.
Hunger, jingle.

Speaker 2 Is there an ending to the.

Speaker 2 It doesn't really exit out. We end it now.
Okay, cool. Let's end it now.

Speaker 6 Okay, so.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 4 So there's, I guess the best out of three,

Speaker 4 so I get a turn.

Speaker 4 So I get a turn.

Speaker 2 No, no, not a turn. We buzz.
Oh, we buzz? What do you think the buzzers are for?

Speaker 4 Oh, that's right. So

Speaker 4 you guys could go take turns, right? And then we'll do, what, maybe five sentences?

Speaker 2 Wait, what are we, we're saying a sentence or saying one word? One word. One word.

Speaker 4 Oh, one word?

Speaker 2 Yeah, what does this word mean?

Speaker 4 No, no, no, no, not just one word. It has to be in the context of a sentence, like what you guys did before, right?

Speaker 7 Let's just keep it at word.

Speaker 2 I think it'd be easier to do. Do you think you can get a whole sentence? One word.

Speaker 4 Yeah, like a whole sentence.

Speaker 2 No, one word. No, I don't think you'll even get a word.

Speaker 2 We can't even get a word, dude. That's why this is a fucking wash.

Speaker 4 No, no, no, no. You have to do it in a sentence.

Speaker 2 He's so stupid.

Speaker 2 You have to do that. See what I mean? There's no adaptability with this guy.

Speaker 2 There's no bending. There's nothing.

Speaker 7 It's his way or the highway.

Speaker 2 He's always been like this. This kid has always been like that.
No buzzers. No buzzers.
No buzzers. So here's what we'll do.
We'll just do that. Okay.

Speaker 2 All right. Here we go.
This is sentence. Ready?

Speaker 2 Chonyo Komokja.

Speaker 2 Whoa, exactly. Same time.

Speaker 4 Do it again.

Speaker 2 No, different sentence. Different sentence.
Different sentence. Okay.

Speaker 2 Shimbashino.

Speaker 2 These are two easy. Maybe these are too easy.
Maybe these are two easy. Oh, these are too easy.
Okay. Way too easy.
Okay. All right, go ahead.
Go complex. Okay.

Speaker 2 Hakyon Jaga.

Speaker 2 Oh. I think you might have gotten it.
A little faster. When are you going to school? Okay.
Not bad. That's good.

Speaker 2 One point.

Speaker 2 Hangu.

Speaker 2 Hangu chingu. It's a game over.

Speaker 2 Okay, here we we go. It's not a game.

Speaker 2 What are you going to do?

Speaker 2 I got you. I got it.
I got it.

Speaker 4 God damn it. I wish you had some buzzers, guys.

Speaker 2 Dude, why would we have buzzers?

Speaker 6 Just for future reference.

Speaker 2 Okay. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Me too, me. Hold on, hold up.

Speaker 2 All right, you guys ready?

Speaker 2 Here we go.

Speaker 2 You have no lips. Oh,

Speaker 2 Jingle, Hangu, Jingle. Hangu Jingle.
Hangu Jingle.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I did. You did know that.

Speaker 4 I think you guys aren't paying attention to my tape side of the table.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 I was fast first. He did.

Speaker 2 Was he fast first? Both of them. Yeah.
He was a quick drawing.

Speaker 2 Okay,

Speaker 2 no tape.

Speaker 2 They could watch it.

Speaker 4 Are you guys judging too? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 6 And this has been fair? Yes.

Speaker 2 Okay, keep going.

Speaker 2 2-0.

Speaker 2 All right, you go.

Speaker 2 Say it again.

Speaker 2 No way you knew that one.

Speaker 2 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Say it again.
Say it again. I didn't hear it.
I didn't hear it again. Say it again.
Say it again. Say it again.

Speaker 4 You have no fat?

Speaker 2 No, no, no. I'm not going to lie, I don't know that one.
Yeah, but why'd you buzz that? Maybe it's too hard. Maybe it's too hard.
Maybe it's too hard.

Speaker 2 Hungry chingle. Hungry chingle.
Hungry chingle. Hungry chingle.
Hungry chingle. Hungu chingle.
Hungu chingle. Hungu chingo.

Speaker 2 That was too quick. That was too quick.

Speaker 2 I knew you would not.

Speaker 2 I don't know it. What does that mean? What is it? I am being dumb.
What is it? I'm being dumb.

Speaker 6 What is it, Peter?

Speaker 2 It means like I'm really sad.

Speaker 2 Fuck. Okay, minus one.

Speaker 2 Two. Minus one.
You get a negative one.

Speaker 4 No, I just said minus one.

Speaker 2 Right, okay. You have three points ahead then.

Speaker 2 Can I give one? I'm going to give one Korean pop culture question in English, and you can answer in English. How about that? Oh, that's a good one.
You know what I mean? Something about Koreans.

Speaker 2 Do you agree with me? Like a Korean. I'm not going to know it.
Maybe you will know.

Speaker 2 Let me guess.

Speaker 2 Name one member of BTS.

Speaker 2 V.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 All right, that's good. Two zeros, though.
Two zero. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 No more of that.

Speaker 2 Because that's not the game.

Speaker 2 Okay, great language. You can't just do a sale.
No, no, no, no, that's some homie shit. You're right there, dog.

Speaker 2 You feel proud of that?

Speaker 2 What do you mean? It's not even the game you fucking created.

Speaker 2 All right, all right. Right? All right, all right.
Minus one, though. No, no, no.
No,

Speaker 2 no, you're right. You're right.

Speaker 6 You're absolutely right. Minus one.

Speaker 5 No, no, no. Two zero.

Speaker 4 No, no, I don't want to go off the game. But thank you.

Speaker 4 I felt good answering something. Yeah.

Speaker 2 What's going on? Minus one. No, let's just do two zero.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I want to be fair.
Okay,

Speaker 2 three, zero.

Speaker 2 All right, ready? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, Sagurio.

Speaker 2 Say it again.

Speaker 4 Sagurio.

Speaker 2 You've never heard this one? No. Really?

Speaker 2 What does it mean? It means it's cheap. God, I fucking had an idea of that.

Speaker 2 Wait, what? How?

Speaker 2 Why didn't you hear me?

Speaker 2 Yeah. You really had an idea.
Don't lie. That was 50-50.
Really? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 5 Sometimes you have to. More like you've heard it before.

Speaker 5 In the market, in the market, in the market.

Speaker 2 I feel like you're more Korean than him. You do the next question.
Yeah, you should.

Speaker 2 You're doing fucking deep. Well,

Speaker 4 you got it so fast.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so you're doing a hijack.

Speaker 2 That's not a deep cut, by the way. Okay.

Speaker 2 Sajin chikuja. Oh.
Tied.

Speaker 2 That was untied. Okay, okay.
I think you guys have to keep it up like this. Yeah, you guys are way too close.
You know what? Keep it up. What?

Speaker 4 So this is the height you're doing, and this is the height. This is the same height.

Speaker 4 So we keep it at.

Speaker 2 We keep it at.

Speaker 2 Actually, there are two pictures that are exactly the yellow and the red.

Speaker 2 Can we use the

Speaker 2 same? Oh, yeah, these two are exactly the same.

Speaker 2 This is much higher.

Speaker 2 So I said, now it's fair.

Speaker 2 So is this there? Okay, cool, cool.

Speaker 2 You're not above it. No, it's.
Right here?

Speaker 4 Are we good? Right there, right where the top is.

Speaker 2 Yeah, ready? Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's a hard one. I don't even know that one.
I don't know that one. Don't get too complicated.
Oh, okay, okay.

Speaker 2 Pebbulo.

Speaker 2 I'm full. Yeah, I got that.
Okay. I knew that one.
4-0. I think Bobby really knows me.
I'm Korean. I think you know.

Speaker 2 I knew that I was more than you. He's a fat quicker.
No, no, no, no, no. That's not what it is.
I think this segment proved I'm more Korean than you.

Speaker 4 That's absolutely not true.

Speaker 2 4-0.

Speaker 5 I know, but that I knew all of them.

Speaker 2 You know, he's just faster on the news. You'll never know that, though.
Okay, keep going. No, no, we're done.
We're done. We're done.
We're done. We're not going to spend an hour doing this.

Speaker 2 No, it's not.

Speaker 2 I won 4-0. That went long enough.
That really did long. All right.
All right.

Speaker 2 This is a good sport. We love that.
This is a good sport. Yeah.
I will say, though, do you think because he is younger that you grew up more Korean in your family? Like, do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 I'm brighter.

Speaker 2 You're brighter in general. No, no, I'm not.
No, I think my brother is smarter than he got better grades in school.

Speaker 4 But you got beat down more than me.

Speaker 2 Okay. Wait, what?

Speaker 2 I mean, I don't even know what that means.

Speaker 2 In what context do you mean?

Speaker 2 Well, you dad, I do.

Speaker 2 So I took more of the, maybe

Speaker 2 way more. Oh, I know.
Way more. Are you? Do you have a brother?

Speaker 2 No, my dad beat me. I'm the oldest, but my dad was definitely just like their dad, like, beat me down, and me too.

Speaker 2 Your dad beat me too. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Bad. Bad.
Bad. Bad.
Yeah, yeah. Like, way wait, yes, were your dad's drunks? Did he try to daddy drunk?

Speaker 2 Sober. Oh, wow.
Did he beat you down?

Speaker 2 Beat me down worse than any of the drunk dads. And what crazy? That's a race.
What's the worst thing he did? What's the worst he did?

Speaker 2 One time he chased me with a kitchen knife and then he beat me with a

Speaker 2 vacuum cleaner.

Speaker 2 With a vacuum cleaner? Yeah. Yeah, like one of those big hoofers.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. With like the bag.
Damn. The 90s.

Speaker 2 My dad beat me with the ping pong table.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're that smooth. He picked it up and threw it on.
You're that shit.

Speaker 2 Holy shit. No, he was like the incredible.
Didn't he fold it first, at least? No.

Speaker 2 He went to put it off. This is a joke.
No, it's not.

Speaker 4 It's not a big joke.

Speaker 2 No, you go, smash. No, shut up.
Shut up.

Speaker 2 No, no, no.

Speaker 2 I don't remember that. He said, I'll bust.

Speaker 2 I don't remember that, dude. You saying that I got beat more than you?

Speaker 5 Yeah, but I didn't remember.

Speaker 2 Were you at every fucking beating?

Speaker 2 Were you at every beating? No. He was good.
Let me tell you something. The beating of you with the keyboards, I wasn't there.
That's all hearsay. Yeah, he beat me with the keyboard.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 So I'm saying there are certain beatings we weren't witnessing

Speaker 2 of each other, right? But how did he hold?

Speaker 4 He's a little guy.

Speaker 2 How did he hold it? I just see strength. I just see strength.
Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 That's the Korean race.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So you're dead. That's pretty bad.
What about you? Jonathan. I mean, you know, golf clubs, more like obvious kind of beating tools, you know, shoehorn.
But, you know, just

Speaker 2 a shoe horn? Shoehorn's like this big. No, no, no.

Speaker 2 It's a longer shoehorn. Oh, it's a shoehorn.
Like the one thing where you like put it in your shoe so you can measure the thing.

Speaker 2 Oh, we never had. Do we have a shoehorn growing up? No.
Yeah. Encyclopedias.
Oh, that. Yeah.
Oh,

Speaker 2 shoehorn. It's a longer, that long one.

Speaker 2 Was it metal? Yeah, yeah. And my dad was an alcoholic, so he would definitely beat me drunk.
Yeah. My mom.

Speaker 2 That must have been nice. But did you get to the bottom?

Speaker 2 What do you mean? To have an alcoholic.

Speaker 4 Because he was inebriated to like.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Because at least

Speaker 2 he looks stupid when he's beating you. Like, my dad's like stark sober.
Like, he's like memorizing the alphabet, you know, like Korean alphabet while he's beating me. Right, like, right.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 What did you do wrong?

Speaker 2 Everything. Everything.

Speaker 2 No, I was the best kid. That's the thing.
Oh, you got straight A's?

Speaker 2 Why are you crying?

Speaker 2 I was a smart kid. I was, I really was, but he, he just had issues.

Speaker 2 Yeah. He just wanted more out of you, or what was it? Like, he just

Speaker 2 said he was upset

Speaker 2 with his own stuff. And And I think my mom was just like too much of a boss bitch for her.
For him. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's like, you know, you know the word Chajun Shim? Yeah. Like pride?

Speaker 2 I think Tajunshim was hurt every day because she made more money than him or something like that. Oh, pride, pride.
And it's like immigrant status.

Speaker 2 You were the only kid, right? No, I have a younger brother. Yeah.
But the older brothers do get beat the most. Can I say so?

Speaker 2 Were you gay then?

Speaker 2 What do you mean? I was always gay. Yeah, but out.
Out. No, no, he started beating me when I was like young.
Oh, straight and gay equal beatings. Oh, yeah.
Okay. Okay, okay.

Speaker 4 Oh, I have another segment idea.

Speaker 2 I don't know what segment that could spark right now.

Speaker 2 I'm all.

Speaker 2 Part two.

Speaker 2 Part two, guys. It's called Kontangi Time.

Speaker 4 So, so I didn't know your sexual preference. So this is what I want you to do.

Speaker 2 Okay. We're going to

Speaker 2 literally, you're going in an area that's very uncomfortable for everyone in the room.

Speaker 2 What do you mean? You can't say gonding time and then look at the gay guy and go,

Speaker 2 that's just like

Speaker 2 your butt.

Speaker 2 So, we're going to

Speaker 2 go. We're all going to get

Speaker 2 up, bro.

Speaker 6 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're going to judge our butts.

Speaker 2 I would love to do that. Oh, yeah, yeah,

Speaker 4 So we're all going to be like usual.

Speaker 2 We do individual, not in a row. Individual butts.
Yeah, so you go first, and then I do scale it down to 10.

Speaker 5 Okay, but

Speaker 4 skin.

Speaker 2 Yeah, of course. Raw skin.
Yeah, raw skin.

Speaker 2 What do you think?

Speaker 2 I don't want to see whole. You got to come here, though.
Don't show me your hole.

Speaker 4 I'm not going to show you my whole.

Speaker 2 I don't want to see crack. I don't want to see any.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to show you my hole.

Speaker 2 You don't like the whole thing. No, I love the whole.
I love the whole, but I don't want to see your hole. Yeah.
All right. Hey, hold on.
You know what's interesting about this?

Speaker 2 This is interesting because you're judging three Korean butts, too.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Why are you just coming?

Speaker 2 I'm just saying there's three Korean butts presented. How often do you see Korean butts in a row? All the time.
Oh, you do.

Speaker 2 How do you want me to pose?

Speaker 4 Do you want me to do doggy?

Speaker 2 I said, I said no hole. Don't know.

Speaker 2 You bend over, you're going to show whole.

Speaker 2 Don't bend over. When you bend over, you don't show whole.

Speaker 2 How are you not going to show whole?

Speaker 2 No, don't show. How about this? How about this?

Speaker 2 I don't want to show my hole.

Speaker 2 I don't want to show my hole. Just straight up.
Is it optional?

Speaker 2 Let me say it.

Speaker 2 If you're going to show hole,

Speaker 2 you have to put the whole thing through. Like your junk, your

Speaker 2 package, the whole thing through, all the way to the back.

Speaker 2 Oh, so you have to tuck your own dick. Yeah, and show me everything.
And you show everybody. I know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 Yo, show me.

Speaker 2 But backwards. Buffalo, build backwards.
I'll tell you what. Dumb.
Yeah, go. I've seen a lot of Korean men's butts.
Yeah. I've never seen Korean men's buffalo bills.
Whoa.

Speaker 2 Do you want to switch it to Buffalo Bills? But you want it. But.

Speaker 2 I'm not doing my Toco Mook right now, bro. I can't do my Tokumook.

Speaker 2 It's your name. It's your game.
What do you want to change it to?

Speaker 2 What does that do about Buffalo Bill? It's the same thing. You just got to turn around.
You have to turn around. So we're verse.

Speaker 2 You've got to label the episode Buffalo Bill versus Butt.

Speaker 2 So go ahead. It's true.

Speaker 2 It's your choice.

Speaker 2 You could do Buffalo Bill now. Dude, I'm crying.

Speaker 4 Peter, it's your decision. Whatever.

Speaker 2 It's your game.

Speaker 4 Okay, but what would you rather see? Buffalo Bill or Butt?

Speaker 7 Butt, for sure. Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay. Okay.
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Speaker 4 What's the criteria? Plumpness, like shape, pumpness, and go ahead.

Speaker 2 What are the three criteria?

Speaker 4 Break it down.

Speaker 2 Proportions.

Speaker 2 Proportions.

Speaker 2 Girth.

Speaker 2 Girth, interesting. Yeah.

Speaker 2 The shape.

Speaker 5 The stick out.

Speaker 2 And then

Speaker 2 how do you call it like

Speaker 2 bounce ability? Bounce. So we got to jump.
We got to do a jump. Jiggle it.

Speaker 2 Because most times you want a butt that, like...

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. yeah, yeah, yeah.
You want a butt that pushes back. Yeah.

Speaker 5 What's that shaky thing they do with the butt?

Speaker 2 Twerk. Twerk.
You got to twerk. Twerk.

Speaker 2 You got to twerk.

Speaker 2 Why can't you twerk? How about just a jump? How about just a jump? Guarantee you, they've never seen three straight Korean men twerk.

Speaker 2 Oh my god.

Speaker 2 Hold on, man. If we don't twerk, we all have to do it.
I'll do it too. I'll do it too.
I'll do it too. So it's fair.

Speaker 2 I don't want to see yours. I don't want to see yours.
Why? Because I'm gay.

Speaker 2 You can't see a gay butt.

Speaker 5 You can't see a gay bud.

Speaker 2 You need to shot you. No, I might like it.
You might.

Speaker 2 I might like it. So why? You can like it.

Speaker 2 We work together. We have a project together.

Speaker 2 Oh, you might not. All right.

Speaker 2 You might not. So go ahead.

Speaker 2 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 2 All right, go ahead. Let's go.

Speaker 2 Let's go.

Speaker 2 Do I have to twerk? Yeah. No, you don't have to twerk.
You have to do whatever you want. If you want to win, if you want to win, you got to twerk it.

Speaker 2 Oh, all right.

Speaker 2 That's nice.

Speaker 2 Dude, this is

Speaker 5 jiggling like crazy.

Speaker 2 Dude, this is maximum jiggle. Are you getting it?

Speaker 2 Are you getting this? I got it.

Speaker 2 Steve.

Speaker 2 Steve. Oh, my God.
That was so stupid. Very good.
That was beautiful. All right, Johnny.
No.

Speaker 2 Go ahead, Johnny. I don't want to jiggle it like that.
You don't have to.

Speaker 2 He's going to win.

Speaker 2 That was for me. That was for me.

Speaker 4 Jesus Christ. Dude, yours is going to be amazing, too.

Speaker 2 He took an ass out yesterday, too.

Speaker 5 This is why he did the segment.

Speaker 2 Okay, wow.

Speaker 2 Nice.

Speaker 2 All right, Bobby. I'm not doing it.
Why? No, Bobby.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 No, you'll do it. No, you have to do it.
You guys did it. You bullshit.
You guys did it. You shit, man.
You better bullshit. You did it.
I don't have to do it. You're all experienced.

Speaker 2 You're the fool that did it. No, no, no.
I'm not doing that. That's bullshit.

Speaker 2 I am a battle rapper and hip-hop, and I just jumped out of it. You know why? I won't show you that.
Because you got fucked.

Speaker 5 No, you got fucked.

Speaker 2 No, no. That's on tape.
I'm not doing that. That's on Tape.
I'm a man. That's him.
I'm a fucking man. No, no, that's not your job.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bobby.
He goes on wilding out. Come on.
You got to do it. Here we go.

Speaker 2 People think about it. I thought I told you.

Speaker 2 Don't show. No, stop, Bobby.
I don't want to see that. I don't want to see that.

Speaker 2 Bobby, I don't want to see that. You're going to get canceled.

Speaker 4 You're going to get canceled.

Speaker 2 I hate it

Speaker 2 this is my

Speaker 2 this is mine fuckery because he had me begging him to do that. And I'm like, I'm like, no, you gotta do it.

Speaker 2 The fact that you even pulled it a little more through. I pulled it through, dude.
I pulled it through, dude. Oh, shit.
All right, Peter, it's your turn. No, Peter doesn't need to do it.
You judge.

Speaker 4 Do you want to do it?

Speaker 2 Judge.

Speaker 2 I'll judge. I'll judge.

Speaker 2 But did you take a good look at all three? I did.

Speaker 2 Unfortunately.

Speaker 4 So, break down the criteria and why you decided.

Speaker 2 Oh, you can see. Yeah, why you decided.

Speaker 2 But performance matters. Performance matters.
Performance matters, okay? Remember that. Okay, coming in in absolutely dirt last

Speaker 2 is Bobby.

Speaker 2 Why? Honestly, the putt is cute. Yeah, but I committed to hold stuff.
Wait, it's a cute putt is cute.

Speaker 2 I pulled it through. I know.
From behind, you've never seen that before. I know.
That was rough too long. That was so sad.
That's the creativity of it. That was so sad.

Speaker 2 The fact that you reached around for yourself

Speaker 2 and threaded your

Speaker 2 piss through. I know.

Speaker 2 But don't you think I get some points for commitment and ingenuity? You're on the board. You're on the board.

Speaker 2 So I'm third. I'm third.
You're third. So I'm just sorry.

Speaker 2 If you didn't do that, if you didn't do that extra piece, the pulling, I think you would have came in second. Oh, wow.
Oh, wow. Because it was looking plump and

Speaker 2 nice. No, no, like real scars or anything.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, good, good, thank you.
So it backfired.

Speaker 2 It did. You know how they say go, it hurts.
Yeah. You went a little too big.
I went too big. Yeah, yeah.
It's the pulling of the head of the penis was just too much. And I was like,

Speaker 2 I was like, Bobby, there's not enough kids.

Speaker 5 I know, but there's not enough there.

Speaker 2 I was self-conscious because I thought the size was covering my face. Oh, my God.
And I'm like, it's not going to show my face, so I have to pull it up. No.

Speaker 2 I feel so self-conscious about it. I hate it.

Speaker 2 You went hard. Okay, so who's second? I'm going to send that to CAA.
See,

Speaker 2 yeah. I got to say, second,

Speaker 2 seconds, butt had great shape. Looks like there was some nice definition and great just

Speaker 2 presence. Yeah, I'm going to give that to dumb right here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Number two, and number one, Stevie Weavy, that jiggle, that twerk.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Hangu, jingle, hango, jingle.
I'm so jealous.

Speaker 2 But if he didn't do that jiggle, that jiggle was crazy, right? Yeah, don't quote me on that, but you got a fat ass.

Speaker 2 You got a dumper. You got a double.
Like, in a complimenting way. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 You got, you know,

Speaker 2 you a bubble butt, bro. Yeah.
Bro, honestly, you'd be a fun bottom, I think.

Speaker 2 I mean, if you ever ventured, you'd be fun at it. What are you talking about? You'd be a fun bottom.
I don't know what that means.

Speaker 2 What do you mean? You don't know what a bottom is?

Speaker 5 Bro, I'm telling you right now,

Speaker 2 if you were in prison, you wouldn't be lonely. No, you'd be alive.
You'd be popular. You'd be very popular.

Speaker 4 So they would want to do it to me?

Speaker 2 Oh, the jiggle. Why are you mad? Why are you mad?

Speaker 2 What's going on? And you were up there like you wanted first place. You started it.
Yeah. We would have known right now.
You didn't jiggle.

Speaker 2 If you didn't jiggle it,

Speaker 4 since we went that far,

Speaker 4 let's take it to Buffalo Bill.

Speaker 2 No, we don't need it. We don't need it.
No, we're not doing any more of those.

Speaker 2 What's wrong with you, dude? We're done. What's wrong?

Speaker 2 Yeah, that portion.

Speaker 4 Isn't it fun, guys?

Speaker 2 It's okay.

Speaker 2 It was okay.

Speaker 2 Every single person involved is like, it was all right. Yeah, it was was all right.
Yeah. Fun, I don't know.
That's not the right word I would use. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 But is this the first time you've ever shown your

Speaker 2 blood to a gay man?

Speaker 4 I did a torque video on

Speaker 4 my Instagram. Dude, I was losing followers.

Speaker 4 Dude, they got offended.

Speaker 2 Really? No. No.

Speaker 2 But you could have gained some too, probably.

Speaker 2 Did you gain any? No.

Speaker 4 Are you sure? I don't know.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you don't know. I have never whored myself out to a gay game show like like that, if you're asking.
You won nothing. I want absolutely nothing.
Well, you took silver. Okay, yeah.
You know what?

Speaker 2 Some of this might be picked up by like queer blogs, and you might get like gay fans. Really? Who buy your music and stuff?

Speaker 2 Well, I do thank you for talking up my ass because they're not going to see it. So all they have is your work.
You guys, all they have is your work. Great ass.
But have you been noticing that?

Speaker 2 Because I have been working out. It looks, you know what? I will say, it looks like a little like my boyfriend's ass, who has like a, I don't know how I feel about that.

Speaker 2 No, let me look at it. I know his boyfriend, right? He's hot as fuck.

Speaker 7 He's hot.

Speaker 2 Like, don't even fucking. He's got like a rectangle, but like a workout butt.
Defined. Yeah,

Speaker 2 no, white. No, he's a white guy.
But as a jawline, like a, yeah, it was. You have like a square, right? Think of Brad Pitt's face, but then put it on the bottom.
He's that handsome?

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 No, the butt. No, I'm gonna say, but your boyfriend says he's a handsome guy.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he's very handsome. How big is like he has a lot of girth?

Speaker 2 His thick. Yeah.
What's Steve?

Speaker 2 Steve's stop for one of the best.

Speaker 2 Peter. Excuse me.
Wait, why do you want to?

Speaker 2 Excuse me.

Speaker 2 It's like calling my girlfriend, right? Does she have a deep pussy?

Speaker 4 All right, let's edit that out. Sorry, guys.

Speaker 2 No, no. I'm really interested in why.
I was just curious. I was just curious.
Yeah, it's crazy that you wouldn't even ask. No, I'm just curious.
That's all. Yeah, I'm curious about a lot of things.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't ask her. Okay.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's insane. Yeah.
Well, that was fun.

Speaker 2 Oh, I have another segment that I did, though.

Speaker 4 You guys want to hear?

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 What is it? No, no, no. No.
69?

Speaker 2 69?

Speaker 2 That's where I draw the line. Yeah, I draw the line.
I draw the line. I'm not doing 69.

Speaker 2 That's where I draw the line. I draw the line, though.

Speaker 5 Your mind went right to 69.

Speaker 2 You said 60, and I go, not know.

Speaker 4 I was going to, we're not going to do it. I was going to say, because I got an idea because he was like, you know, he's been working out.

Speaker 4 And I'm like, let's do a thing where we take off our shirts and see.

Speaker 5 No, I'm not doing that.

Speaker 2 No more of your language. No more of that.
What is wrong with that? I'm so sorry. Yeah, he's a normal human being.
What the fuck are you talking about?

Speaker 2 I know I'm

Speaker 4 just not be fun. That's all.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I'm so sorry about this.

Speaker 2 You never wrote my brother before. I didn't know.
I didn't know first time you knew that. I didn't mean to.
Yeah, yeah. No, I'm not.
And you're going hog wild

Speaker 2 with him. Oh, no, no.
I apologize. I apologize.

Speaker 2 Anyone listening right now, if you were to put any of us on stage, who would get the biggest laughs? This fucking guy.

Speaker 2 He's a killer. For sure.

Speaker 4 How long have you been doing comedy?

Speaker 2 10 years.

Speaker 2 He's a killer.

Speaker 2 Wow. Like, he's unfollowable.

Speaker 4 Can you follow him?

Speaker 2 I have a struggle. No.
You struggle.

Speaker 5 I did struggle.

Speaker 2 Opening up for him. I know.

Speaker 2 Are you opening up for him? I'm sorry. What'd you say? I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 He opened up for me, bro. Okay.
Yeah, yeah. I'm still legit, dude.

Speaker 4 So you guys meet. Yeah, how do you guys meet?

Speaker 2 From that, I think.

Speaker 2 He opened up for me one time, and I was like, oh, shit, he was. Can I ask you something? So no matter how hard someone kills, just because you're a veteran, you will open up.
Is that how it works?

Speaker 2 No, he'll close. I still

Speaker 2 close. I mean, yeah, yeah.
So you won't ever open up because of the veteran status. Well, I mean, if I'm booked as a headliner and people are there to see me, I see because you're not going to go

Speaker 2 draw.

Speaker 2 I mean, that's insane. You're the draw.
You're the draw. Yeah, I see.
I see. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 It's like if you two was doing Colleen Seam and Coldplay open,

Speaker 2 you two would never go, hey, you guys close it. Which comedian would you not be offended if they were like, can you open for me? I've had people do that.
Tom. Tom Segura did it in December.
Oh, yeah?

Speaker 2 Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Because he does stadiums and stuff now. And it's like, I wanted to play a stadium.

Speaker 2 So, like, you know, 15, 20,000 seat stadiums. I just want to see if I can.
Does that feel the same?

Speaker 2 Doesn't that feel like crazy because it's not like

Speaker 2 the rhythm is different. Right.
You have to do broad strokes.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 the timing is different. But

Speaker 2 it was fine. I wasn't doing 15, 20 minutes.
It was pretty crazy fun. Whoa.
Yeah, because I was also proud of the guy. I was like, oh my God, I can't believe that this is where you're at now.

Speaker 2 It's amazing.

Speaker 2 When you see your friends do that, you go from

Speaker 2 open mic to over the years, become that.

Speaker 2 It's really just inspiring. And

Speaker 2 I'm constantly in awe of it. But it's great.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, he just did 30,000 seats.

Speaker 2 Whoa. It was just for music, rap.
Yeah, but that's actually a lot.

Speaker 2 That's like an amphitheater, dude, right? It's like an outdoor festival. That's cool.
It's an outdoor festival. And let me tell you, Steve,

Speaker 2 if you want to date a hot Asian chick in LA, you can't because he's got him. Oh, I know.

Speaker 4 Dude, I know he gets the gun.

Speaker 2 I can't go out with any Asian chick because he's.

Speaker 8 Oh, dude, he's awesome.

Speaker 2 You've got him on lockdown. Yeah, you're on.
It's on lockdown. No, I know.
No, no, no. You know, right? He thinks that I'm gatekeeping.
You are gatekeeping.

Speaker 2 No, no, no. You're like Brad Pitt, dude.
You're like the Brad Pitt.

Speaker 2 No, no you're like

Speaker 2 steve eunus well

Speaker 2 of course steve you're but he's

Speaker 2 of course but he's real close by well steve he's married yeah yeah he's married yeah yeah but i was i was saying this though um

Speaker 2 i recently like i told you i'm going through that like kind of healing self-care stuff he knows you know like he's kind of been helping me out a lot just off of substance all this stuff um and i was struggling with this kind of thing with dating and going out and meeting girls because i feel like it throws me off of my routine of self-care.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And I'm kind of navigating that.
I don't know if you have any advice for me. Well, I mean, I think because I'm going through the same thing, and I think it's,

Speaker 2 you know, you get these little dopamine rushes when a girl says yes to a date, go out. If you can, you know, hook up.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 It's all the same things as drugs and alcohol to escape the moment. and not feeling certain things.

Speaker 2 And it's definitely an addiction in a weird way.

Speaker 2 And I've been kind of looking, why am I depressed, I think? Because so-and-so canceled a date or

Speaker 2 whatever it might be. But it's like, I'm really taking a look at myself, you know, in terms of like why I'm doing these things.

Speaker 2 And I'm also hanging out with people, women, that I normally would never hang out with because they're hot. That's your new drug.
Yes. That's your new drug.
Yeah, and it's not a good place to be.

Speaker 2 Wait, wait, you're saying you're all of a sudden hanging out with hot women?

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 2 But no, but before I did, but like now it's like, you know,

Speaker 2 there was that wasn't the first thing, you know, like now it's like they're hot, but they also have some sort of mental disorder. You know what I mean? No, I'm being real.

Speaker 2 Or they have like they're an alcoholic or they have some behavioral issues and lifestyle issues that

Speaker 2 it goes against my own beliefs and ethics. And you know what I mean? But I stay in it because I want to get the,

Speaker 2 you know what I mean? Yeah. The thing.
And it's like, you you're aware that this is happening. You look at your life and you go, why am I doing this? Is is this love?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Then what is it? Sex? Probably. You know what I mean? And it's like you just kind of analyze it.
And at the end of the day, I don't think it's healthy.

Speaker 2 Well, she also at that point, does she have an influence over you, a bad influence? Could she possibly peer pressure you into doing something that's harmful for yourself? No. You think? No, no, no.

Speaker 2 You don't think so? No, because I when it comes to that, I'm pretty

Speaker 2 adamant about my routines and going to meetings and doing all that stuff.

Speaker 8 What about weed? What about weed?

Speaker 2 Oh, sorry, I've boogered.

Speaker 8 I've got a booger right here.

Speaker 2 Dude, what if

Speaker 2 you're hanging out with her, right? And she's casually

Speaker 2 grabbed their throat and said, I got a booger right there.

Speaker 2 I haven't seen that happen. I'm so sorry.
Grandfather died. You know that, dude.
I'm close. Yeah, you got it.
I'm close, dude. I'm close to that.

Speaker 2 You know what Kata is? No. No, you got all the words.

Speaker 5 I don't know.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's what it is. It's like when I'm old, I'm Korean.

Speaker 2 Well, we're old.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 We're that age. You know, we're old.
We're old. You're not that old, dude.

Speaker 3 Well, we're getting, I'm getting up there. I'm getting up there.

Speaker 4 What if she casually, this hot chick you're hanging out with, casually is just smoking a joint?

Speaker 5 They do.

Speaker 4 And it doesn't, it doesn't.

Speaker 2 They vape.

Speaker 2 And it doesn't tempt no at all why would it i i i don't people i don't want people to change their behaviors okay okay you know what i mean it's like that's you know i um i'm just dating people yeah and then sometimes it's like

Speaker 2 you know it's not the right you know i mean fit when it comes to a relationship but you're in it because it's fun and they're nice people you know what i mean but it's like are you looking for another relationship or are you it's funny because trying to have fun when i broke up with kalila i was like you know what this is gonna i'm gonna go on a run

Speaker 2 but now that i'm doing it, I'm like, no, I think the reason why I've always been in a relationship was because of the feelings I'm having now. That doesn't fulfill me, right?

Speaker 2 And it is nice to have one person that you can share a life with, you know? So,

Speaker 2 yeah, it's so funny. We went from jiggling butts

Speaker 2 to this

Speaker 2 serious relationship. This fucking therapy.
It's insane. You know what I mean? But I love this.
This is what I love about it.

Speaker 4 I have another question.

Speaker 2 Don't do another game. No, no, no.
There's no games. There's no games.
No more games. No button games.

Speaker 2 Since we're on the game. Unless the game's really good.
No.

Speaker 4 Well, I thought they were all pretty fun.

Speaker 4 Now,

Speaker 4 can I bring up Penny?

Speaker 2 Who's Penny?

Speaker 4 You know who Penny is.

Speaker 2 Steve. Steve.
Yeah. Don't bring up Penny.

Speaker 2 That's stupid.

Speaker 4 Now, where does she fall into place in this whole thing?

Speaker 4 Because I saw your post.

Speaker 4 That's your video game girlfriend, right?

Speaker 2 Wait, what? What? He plays this game called Stardew Valley, and he has this girlfriend in the game. Wife.
Oh, oh.

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Speaker 2 I didn't mean to offend you. You're so disrespectful.
I know, so disrespectful. Everything you do.

Speaker 4 Why do you is there a fantasy? What is it?

Speaker 2 Like the CPU, not like another person. You have like a same family.

Speaker 4 No, yeah, yeah. CPU, yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 4 So does that. What do you mean? Does that bring you comfort?

Speaker 2 There is comfort there. There is comfort.
Yeah. She's always there.

Speaker 2 dude isn't that crazy it's like her it's like her that's crazy yeah there's in in stardew valley there's probably eight women that you can marry to choose from

Speaker 2 and i've played it probably 30 times and i always either pick penny or haley

Speaker 2 why well what does penny

Speaker 2 why why why are you so stupid why is it so stupid

Speaker 2 why'd you bring it up then because i just wanted to know if it was real yeah it's real why you try to hit him like you're trying to hit him like you?

Speaker 2 Why'd you get so upset?

Speaker 2 It's just ridiculous. Why'd you bring it up? Yeah.
I don't know. Because you're in the criteria.
I'm worried about it. What are you worried about? God's a fucking behavior.

Speaker 4 It's in the game. It doesn't matter.
It's weird behavior.

Speaker 2 It's weird.

Speaker 2 It's in the game. You don't want to play the game.

Speaker 2 You find that ridiculous that you just came up with those segments before this when we're talking about

Speaker 2 jiggled your ass. That's what that's funny shit.
Yeah. People are going to love it.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 It's going to bring the numbers, baby.

Speaker 2 Andres.

Speaker 2 Ask what the numbers are, baby.

Speaker 2 What's going on?

Speaker 2 But Penny, I'll tell you about Penny, though. Penny is the school teacher.

Speaker 2 What grade? Well, you know, the two kids in it, they don't really age. But I'm assuming they're like sixth grade, maybe.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 she's the teacher. Yeah.
And then here's what's great about Penny is you're running around in the town, right? And Penny always sits underneath this tree.

Speaker 2 And she's like, like, kind of like, with her knees tucked. And she contemplates life.
You know what I mean? And so, and I'm like, I just like her because she's usually in the library.

Speaker 2 Haley is the hot one in town. And she takes photographs.
She loves coconuts. And

Speaker 2 what's so funny? You sound like you're reading off dating profiles. Shane.
She likes pink cake. Walks on the beach.

Speaker 4 This is like the episode of Black Mirror, but Gone Wrong video game.

Speaker 2 You're afraid that he's going to get lost in like a relationship

Speaker 2 in like a VR.

Speaker 4 He's never going to leave his home and he's just going to be, oh, Penny's there. And 18 hours in.

Speaker 2 I could see that happening. You could, right? Yeah.
Yeah. We're not, I mean, you're not too far from it.
But there's one girl that I will never marry.

Speaker 2 I can't figure out why I don't. Who? Her name is Emily, and she's Haley's sister.

Speaker 2 It's not insane. Is there a personality trait that she has or not? She has blue hair.
Right. I don't like that.
That doesn't even feel real. I know.
Number one doesn't feel real. And also, she's just

Speaker 2 not sexual looking.

Speaker 2 What do you mean? She looks like an animal? Aren't they pixelated? They're pixelated.

Speaker 2 Of course they're pixelated. What do you mean she doesn't look sexual? She's in her inner dialogue.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Right.
Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 2 She's not mentally turning you on. Pick up and see what Emily starts.
That's Emily.

Speaker 2 You know what it is?

Speaker 2 She's giving off queer vibes. That's what it is.
She's giving off queer vibes.

Speaker 2 It's queer vibes. Yeah, Yeah, that's right.
It's queer vibes. She's a queer vibes.
Queer coder. She's like an engineer.

Speaker 4 Should I say that?

Speaker 2 I think she's hot. But you haven't seen Penny Very.
That's emo. And can I also say this?

Speaker 2 People have done real life, you know what I mean? Real cosplay. Cosplay, cosplay.
No, real like art. Yeah.
But what they were looking at is Penny. That's my wife.

Speaker 2 She's a bit weird. But those are weird.
But look at realistic

Speaker 2 paintings of them. Really? That's what you look at.
Oh, that. Yeah.
Okay. So that's Penny.
See, that's Penny. That's Penny.
In realistic form.

Speaker 5 I think you like the wholesome kind of form.

Speaker 2 You want a bookish.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I do. I like pale legs.

Speaker 5 I like long legs.

Speaker 2 She has long legs. Who's the other one? There's a third one.
Emily? Who's the one who's Haley? Haley? Haley. Haley.
Oh, you look at Haley.

Speaker 2 I tend to be pretty attracted to lesbian tomboy. Like,

Speaker 2 the realistic, though,

Speaker 2 realistic, realistic. It looks like Erica Jane.
This one.

Speaker 2 She's a slut.

Speaker 2 That's why.

Speaker 2 You like her. Yeah.
Yeah. But here's also about Emily I don't like.
There's a guy named Clint in the game, and he's the blacksmith. Right.

Speaker 2 and one day he writes you a letter saying can you give wait is this clint yeah oh clint is hot oh my god

Speaker 2 that's fucking clint ginger beer no shirt this is exactly my

Speaker 2 family he's a loser yeah this is andrew

Speaker 2 he's a full-blown loser why why dude he's not elliot or sebastian if you if andrew could create his own character this is how he would create yeah absolutely yeah absolutely no no we have a guy carlos that used to work work, that sometimes worked here, and he was talking about a glory hole.

Speaker 2 And he went a couple of times. What's a glory hole to a glory hole?

Speaker 2 You don't know what a glory hole is? You know what a glory hole is?

Speaker 4 Oh, it's like where you stick your dick through the hole.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Thank you.

Speaker 2 Or your ass.

Speaker 2 No, that's not a glory hole. That's where you're fucking.

Speaker 2 No, that's a glory hole. You could fuck through the hole.
No, he's saying directly to the hole. It's not a glory hole.

Speaker 4 No, your butt on the butt crossing.

Speaker 2 You put your butt like what you did before, like this.

Speaker 2 But how thick is the wall? Well, there's a hole. It's just the bathroom stall size, I would assume, yeah, but still this much.
So, how do you get the length to do it?

Speaker 2 The length of your what do you mean, your dick?

Speaker 2 Well, I mean, you so you stick your butt against a hole, yeah, and then there's a spread cheek like this, there's a wall, yeah, or you know what I mean, and then there's a dick, but there's still this much room, yeah, okay, but it's doable, yeah, okay, or mouth.

Speaker 2 Yeah, mouth is what I so want to do. You never do that again,

Speaker 2 but look at how small this mouth never do that again. Let me see how small you are.
Oh, this is the biggest, that's the biggest.

Speaker 2 So, can you believe it?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, you would love it. And I love sucking dick.
That's the problem.

Speaker 2 I love sucking dick, but my mouth is so small. Yo, why was that the smallest open-wide I've ever seen in my life? I'm like, my jaw hurts.

Speaker 2 Your whole face is opening wide, but your mouth is made the same. That's crazy.
Wait, see, is that crazy?

Speaker 4 Is that you said like a middle?

Speaker 2 I love sucking dick, but my mouth is so small. But black dude's about to go, this shit's tight.
Oh, I mean, yeah, no, because your mouth is so small.

Speaker 2 No, no, I don't want to do Valley. I want to do all of this.
I want to say that. I'm going to start start with Valley series.
Dude, do black values. That's where kids tie it.
I hate both topics.

Speaker 2 Most men think it's tight. Yeah.
Whoa, so they come easier. Sure.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I thought of another segue. I'll try it.

Speaker 2 Don't do that segue into that segue right now.

Speaker 2 I don't even want to know what it is. We're not doing that.
What about you guys? Have you ever been with women who have smaller mouths or bigger mouths? I don't

Speaker 2 think about that. Yeah, I don't even think about that.
Maybe we'll have small dicks and we don't know. You know what I mean? Like, even if the mouths are small, it's probably just

Speaker 2 throwing a hot dog in a gigantic

Speaker 2 hallway. So,

Speaker 4 what do you like about that? Is just the suction

Speaker 2 about sucking dick? Yeah. He likes a taste.
I love it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Do you like the taste?

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 2 What do you mean? He likes.

Speaker 2 There's no taste involved. It's tasty.

Speaker 2 When you taste a vagina? Of course there's taste.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Of course there's taste. There's taste to it.
It's you taste too there's a little bit of like a roll.

Speaker 2 What a look of head

Speaker 2 kind of thing. Yeah.
I mean, if I stumped anything on you, it would taste like something. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Your finger, your toe.

Speaker 4 Do you cherish, like, do you eye contact?

Speaker 4 Do you stare into the eyes, like eye contact?

Speaker 2 Depending if I like them or not. If I like them, no.

Speaker 4 So do you focus on the head or the.

Speaker 2 Steve? I don't know.

Speaker 2 I don't know what you're doing. You guys brought it up.
See, Steve? So I think you brought it up.

Speaker 2 I think you brought it up.

Speaker 5 We're talking about Star Drew Valley and Peggy. Wait, Wait, you guys did.

Speaker 2 Go back to this. Steve went gay.

Speaker 2 You were gay sex education on this podcast. Oh, no, I went to Glory Hall.

Speaker 5 You went to one?

Speaker 2 No, I'm just saying

Speaker 2 I'm trying to look back at the conversation, and I segued into Glory Hall, and it brought us to this fucking thing. Oh, and I said you could put him out there, too.
Right, right.

Speaker 5 What I'm saying is let's go,

Speaker 2 then, we'll go back to Glory Hall. My friend Carlos has been to a couple of Glory Halls, right?

Speaker 2 And he's like, I'm pretty sure it's women on the other side, but it could be a man, but do you think that that's a gay thing? It's never women. Exactly.

Speaker 2 it's never that's what we thought so you don't know who's on the other side that's the whole point of it yeah what that's the whole point of it oh so it could be a man sucking your dick it usually is

Speaker 2 you never heard in england you never

Speaker 2 heard this term the language

Speaker 4 that there was you you could at least you know it's like straightforward like who's on the other side no ricky jarvais tells a story about in england

Speaker 2 a young man right goes to a glory hall penis comes through he sucks it and when they leave, they both leave, it's his dad.

Speaker 2 He didn't know what his dad's dick looked like. No, do you know what your dad's dick look like? I don't know what my dad's dick looked like.
Do you know what your dad's dick looked like?

Speaker 4 Dude, that is therapy.

Speaker 2 Years of therapy after that.

Speaker 3 You think?

Speaker 2 Shut up. That can't be right.

Speaker 2 This is a joke. That's not true.
That's what he says.

Speaker 2 What are the odds of that happening? In London? Come on. That's

Speaker 2 I'm just saying, but if it did happen, what would happen, you think? How would you go to dinner that night?

Speaker 2 Would you go to dinner that night? Oh, I don't know, man. Yeah, yeah.
We're not eating hot dogs.

Speaker 2 But how would they even find out right after they were in the middle of the day? They literally came out

Speaker 2 at the same time. And they go, he must have seen a shoe,

Speaker 2 the corner of his shoe. But is the whole thing about that supposed to be like an

Speaker 2 anonymity? Yeah.

Speaker 2 They just randomly bumped into each other. The dad probably went, oh, son.
And the son couldn't say anything because he has cum in his mouth. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 4 on the receiving end,

Speaker 4 so when the guy sticks his dick through the hole, does he just lean against the wall?

Speaker 2 I don't know. Why do you care? Don't do that.

Speaker 2 You do your own style.

Speaker 2 Does he lean? Yeah, yeah. So does he look down or does he just lean against the wall? If he's a cock, we can do that.

Speaker 2 Right? I don't know. What is he frisking you to? What the fuck are you doing? No, I'm just saying.
No, you know what he's doing? He's fingering his own butt.

Speaker 2 He's like going like this and fingering it. This is the gayest podcast I've ever done in my life, and everything was initiated by you guys.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually,

Speaker 2 I can

Speaker 5 by steaming, it's fun though, man.

Speaker 2 This is one of the fun.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 So, everyone went my sky. Am I the first gay person you've ever talked to? No.

Speaker 2 The neighbors get no. The neighbors get, yeah, but they just

Speaker 2 get like detailed things. But no, but is that the first Korean gay dude you've ever seen?

Speaker 8 I think so.

Speaker 2 I think so.

Speaker 2 So, that's why I'm in truth.

Speaker 2 Hangu Jingle. Hangu Jingu.
Hangu Jingu. Hangu Jingle! Yeah,

Speaker 2 so yeah, you fascinated by it?

Speaker 6 I'm fascinated by it.

Speaker 2 So do you like... Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 So there's guys on the other end that like to do the sucking. They get off on that.
What's in it for them, though? Just a mouthful of cum, right?

Speaker 2 No, it's, you know.

Speaker 2 It does sound like you're interviewing the first gay person. Yeah, yeah, man.
I never talked to a gay person.

Speaker 2 That's what it feels like, though.

Speaker 4 I haven't asked these detailed questions, so they get off on that.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 It's like, oh, it's an adrenaline rush.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, can I get turned on? Why do you get turned on by anything? Could I ask a specific question?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Let me ask a specific question because you're talking about he might be the first gay Korean

Speaker 2 that you've talked to. Is there something like specific to a gay Korean person that like culturally that you've gone through in your

Speaker 2 Korean? With another Korean or in your life with family or friends. Like it's there's a gay part, there's a Korean part, right? And there's culture in both.
Yeah. traditions and stuff.

Speaker 2 But is there something that's been particular with being a gay Korean at like a Korean function or something, or like maybe an Asian gay event? Oh, there's plenty of those. There's plenty of that.

Speaker 2 Is it an Asian gay event? What happens at an Asian gay event that's different? Everybody fucks.

Speaker 2 Oh, it's like an orgy. Oh, it's a straight orgy.
I mean, pretty much. But it's a very crazy.
Imagine, like,

Speaker 2 it's like Gold House, but forget for orgy, it's a gold house orgy. Goldhouse orgy, yeah.
Oh, it's like that, except, you know, who knows, like, if everyone gets down, but like, it's

Speaker 2 a gay Korean person and I have never had a relationship, and I've always been

Speaker 2 a fucking star or something. No, why are you?

Speaker 2 Why the fuck are you laughing at me?

Speaker 2 I thought of a field trip.

Speaker 2 Well, I'm telling a story right now.

Speaker 2 Stay at the field trip. Stay at the field trip.
Go ahead. So random.

Speaker 2 So gay, yeah, go ahead. Another gay Korean.
Like, I have a gay cousin. You know, like, I know, I have gay Koreans I know, but like, I've never been in a relationship with one.
Why?

Speaker 2 It's just never presented itself. Right.
You know, so like, and I've been in my current relationship for eight plus years. So like, it,

Speaker 2 do I think it could be like really cool sometimes?

Speaker 7 Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2 Because like, there's the shortcut, right? Everything, you know, all your cultural stuff. You like the same foods.
I see. You could talk shit.

Speaker 2 There's so many times I'm out with my non-Korean partner and I want to talk shit about the restaurant or something or whatever. And I'm just like, oh, God, I got to like fucking whisper.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? Like, do you think your parents would like you with a gay Asian partner more than a non-Asian partner? A gay Korean.

Speaker 4 Oh, specifically Korean.

Speaker 2 Because my mom can't speak English. So

Speaker 2 she's known my partner for eight years and she's always like.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 All right, right, right. Because that's it.

Speaker 2 And your dad passed, but if he was alive, how would he feel right now, do you think? Did you didn't come up to come out to him? No, no, he died before I came. Yeah, oh, wow.
Interesting. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know how his dad died? May I say it? Yeah. Yeah.
His dad died in a Korean spa.

Speaker 2 What? Yeah. Oh, wow.
And that's why. They scraped him too hard.

Speaker 2 Skin came off. Yeah.
No, seriously.

Speaker 5 No, skin serious.

Speaker 2 No, no, no. But was he.

Speaker 2 No, no. No, I don't know, man.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 4 was he in the steam room or the.

Speaker 2 What was going on? He was in the tub.

Speaker 2 He was in the steam room. But he had health issues as well.

Speaker 4 So it wasn't a drowning thing.

Speaker 7 No, no. Okay, okay.

Speaker 2 Not a drowning thing.

Speaker 2 But they did find him like floating on the

Speaker 2 wall. And that's why we came up with this TV show.
Yeah. Right? Because

Speaker 2 I go to spas, and his dad died in one, and we just kind of started talking about that world.

Speaker 2 And then we came up with a show. And now the show is dead as well.
So

Speaker 2 that's a really good joke.

Speaker 7 That's a really good joke.

Speaker 2 That's a a really good joke.

Speaker 2 It was right there. I didn't have to.

Speaker 2 It was right there. Who knows, though? Who knows? We don't know.
Oh, now you're going to be positive. I don't know.

Speaker 2 No, because that made me angry.

Speaker 2 It's a revenge thing. Yeah, it's not fully dead yet.
Okay. Yeah.
All right. Let me say something.
If I saw a room full of Korean men in an orgy or whatever, I would probably cry with pride.

Speaker 2 Oh, really? Yeah, because, you know, I grew up with all these old school beliefs and these strict fucking fucking rules about other races and about, you know, gays and trans and all that stuff.

Speaker 2 And it's like, I always hated it. I was like, no, mom, Filipinos and Vietnamese people are normal.

Speaker 2 They don't just watch our children. Yeah, I mean, they're not, you know what I mean? They're like, I could marry one, right? You know what I mean? If I was gay, it's not the end of the world.

Speaker 2 It just happens to be, I was born that way. Yeah.
And they had these stringent ideas about what, you know,

Speaker 2 it is to be a Korean person. And I always hated it.
You know, yeah. So it's like, if I saw that, you know what I mean? I would probably burst into tears.
I agree.

Speaker 2 I think it would blow my mind in a good way. In a good way.
You know, I'd be like, whoa. And then the fact, you know, they right after the pie grab soup together.
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Replenish the protein. Yeah, yeah.
Replenish

Speaker 2 the protein.

Speaker 2 It's just, yeah, it blows my mind even to think about the possibility. That's wrong though.
No, nothing. I just, I had a great idea.

Speaker 2 Is it the field trip? Yeah, it's just, you know,

Speaker 2 stop for a second. Stop for a second.
You know what's fucked about your field trip thing?

Speaker 2 Ever since you had the field trip idea,

Speaker 2 no, no, stop that stuff. Let me just finish one thing, right? Ever since you had the field trip idea,

Speaker 2 you haven't listened

Speaker 2 to a word anyone said. I have.
I have.

Speaker 4 I'm on Alexapro now.

Speaker 4 It's helping me. All right.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So, what did we talk about?

Speaker 2 Okay, field trip. Wait.
The field trip. Yeah, what are we talking about? The field trip.
Do the field trip. My mind went blank.
Wait, Sadie. Yep, it didn't go blank.
You just said no. You didn't know.

Speaker 2 You didn't listen.

Speaker 4 I was just going to say, because you know, it's on the topic, though. Because I was like, oh, you know, it has to do with the game.

Speaker 2 You don't listen, but anyway. Yeah.

Speaker 4 No, but I'm getting better, right, guys?

Speaker 2 We have no idea. We have no idea.

Speaker 2 You're crazy. So, so

Speaker 2 I'm lost.

Speaker 4 Can we go? Is there a place maybe in Koreatown where it's a gay spot and then we could do a field trip? And we could go in together in our robes and

Speaker 9 Steve Steve. Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve.

Speaker 2 Yeah, go ahead, John. No, I'm just like, no, just I just keep getting forced into these gay scenarios.
I know. There's nothing wrong with it.
Yeah, I don't want to talk about it.

Speaker 2 It's just weird.

Speaker 2 Steve's just curious. He's very curious.
Very curious. Very curious.
We spent 30 minutes talking about it.

Speaker 2 That's a problem.

Speaker 2 And he always goes to it. It's not the field trip.
It was about something else.

Speaker 2 And that's not a field trip, really.

Speaker 2 It's about kids. I know.
At this point,

Speaker 2 we're just being gay.

Speaker 2 At this point, we're just being gay now.

Speaker 4 Has it been gay?

Speaker 2 It's been gay. Can I ask,

Speaker 2 do you think you're more, like,

Speaker 2 you get booked more for TV stuff, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Sorry. I don't know how to do it.

Speaker 6 Sensitive topic.

Speaker 2 No, let's go. Let's go.
Let's go.

Speaker 2 Do you feel like they're looking at you more of a TV to feature a guy, a movie? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Okay. So defense.

Speaker 2 I'm not being defensive. No, no, it's just like, I felt bad.
I'm going to stop. No, no, keep going.
No, I'm not defensive. No, I want you to keep going.
What is the difference?

Speaker 2 Like, how do they look at you a certain way? Like, a movie guy to a TV show? Yeah. Not relevant.

Speaker 2 Has been. Is there a difference? Because you're in.
What do you mean? Like the way, like, oh, he's a feature guy. He's only in movies.

Speaker 4 Or character actor guy.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. A character.
There is a thing, right? Well, I'll give you an example, right? So I did.

Speaker 2 I'm going to say it. Fuck it.

Speaker 2 So Nick Kroll and Ike Baron Holtz had a movie or TV show on Hulu. Right.
The history of the world. And I did it.
Oh, yeah. That was with Ronnie, too, right?

Speaker 2 I didn't know that. Okay.

Speaker 2 I didn't know it. He's in it, too.

Speaker 2 I know. I saw the poster.
I thought you guys were both in the same skit. We are in the same skit.
Yeah. History of the world.
Yeah, yeah. But he's Genghis Khan in the skit.

Speaker 2 And I'm just some random guy. Wait, no, are you serious? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he's on the poster, I'm not. Oh, no.

Speaker 2 It's not, oh no. It's fine.

Speaker 7 I love the guy. He's hot and relevant.

Speaker 2 right but there's a side of me it stings a little because i know those guys but i get it

Speaker 2 but can i say this the war is not over

Speaker 8 why do you say war yeah why is it yes

Speaker 2 dude there's a war in your mind

Speaker 2 there's always been wars

Speaker 2 wars are great wow i love wars i'm korean yeah wow Right?

Speaker 2 Is that Korean being?

Speaker 4 What is that about Koreans that's going to be combative?

Speaker 2 It's the Han, yeah, yeah. What it's the what?

Speaker 4 Han. Han.
It's just the combative.

Speaker 2 It's not combative. It's, I believe, has something to do with oppression.
Yeah. The Japanese oppressing us, right? Yeah.
It's, it's like years of like historical trauma, right?

Speaker 2 It carries on into generations, right? And that's why there's so many Korean revenge movies.

Speaker 2 And we love them. We're obsessed with them.
We're obsessed with them. And it's like comeuppance.

Speaker 2 Right. And we're winning at the end.
Justice. Justice.
Right. And we don't like authoritarian situations.
Right.

Speaker 2 And so I still, I have that. It's not a bad thing.
It's not unhealthy, I don't think. Right.
Right. Because I love everyone.
I really do. I love.
Andrew working. I love Ronnie working.

Speaker 2 I love when you got that Will Farrell movie. I'm so fucking happy for you.

Speaker 2 He's the villain in a Will Farrell movie with him and Aquafina, right? Whoa. Yeah, so you're killing it.

Speaker 2 And we've done two movies back to back this year.

Speaker 2 And when I see you on set, I'm so proud of you.

Speaker 2 But there is a little bit of a Han there where I like to compete.

Speaker 2 I mean, I like to go, you know what? The war's not over. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, and it's like, I don't think that's a bad thing. Can I ask you, do you think other races have Han too? Like, like, you know, because those other.
I like us, I don't think. Huh?

Speaker 2 There's other ethnic groups that have been fucked over as well. You know, Native Americans, black people in America.
Like, do you think they have Han? Yeah, Jews. Do you think they have Han too?

Speaker 2 I think that if you look at, I don't want to name certain ethnicities, right? But there are some ethnicities that there's real wars going on.

Speaker 2 Where there are camps, where certain camps cannot be in the same club as another camp because there'll be actual physical violence. Right.
We don't have that.

Speaker 2 Okay. Do you think we've held? Do you think we have to?

Speaker 2 Whenever you do that, I love it. Okay.
The Asian company. I love it.
Did that at least sound Asian? Okay.

Speaker 2 I love it. Do you think it's

Speaker 2 because our people start over, man up?

Speaker 2 What the fuck?

Speaker 2 I'm starting to have Hotten right now.

Speaker 2 You're starting to have a lot of people. This is serious Hottin.

Speaker 2 Oh, my.

Speaker 2 That's what I'm trying to get to. Okay.

Speaker 2 Do you think it's because we've suppressed it? That's why we have Han as opposed to other people

Speaker 2 still in the war, fighting in the war. Do you think maybe like we're not fighting outwardly? We're like, we have it inwardly.
Like, we have that war going on. You got a point there.

Speaker 2 Like, the past aggressive. We don't know how to express it.
So, except for like when we're drunk and singing and karaoke, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 That's like the only time you will ever see like Koreans being emotional. Right, right, right.

Speaker 2 But I think there is something along the lines of like, we don't know how to express our emotions, and we have this like thousands of years of like being fucking run over yeah by like Manchuria etc so like it's like a chess we play chess yeah but look

Speaker 2 for free enough we we

Speaker 2 we

Speaker 2 take that energy into success I mean look at we're such a small country South Korea right right but look at the companies that we have Hyundai Kia yeah I mean Samsung Samsung etc etc look at the film industry there yeah that's all the music right and it's a small thing.

Speaker 2 I think that's because of that Han of the work ethic too. Yeah, and Korean.
And showing up,

Speaker 2 you know what I mean, expressing ourselves in that way. Right.
And many, for many years, I'm not saying that I think that every race is funny, but there was a little bit in

Speaker 2 LA where Koreans in the beginning were the funny stand-ups. Now you got Ronnie and

Speaker 2 all these other people, and they're very funnier even in many ways. But in the beginning, it was Koreans.
You know what I mean? I think. You had Margaret and Henry Cho.
and, you know,

Speaker 2 so do you feel like they won the war? Who? The Chinese in the end. In entertainment.

Speaker 2 Or is the war, does the war continue? Does it ever end?

Speaker 2 It never ends. The war never ends.
It will never, not in my lifetime. The war ends.
My war will not end. But your war will end when you think you won.
I'll never win. You'll never win.

Speaker 2 So the war continues.

Speaker 2 No, no, that's the war.

Speaker 2 I constantly put myself in a position of

Speaker 2 to be victimized. You do.
I always do. Why do you do that? Because it motivates you.
It drives you. It drives me.

Speaker 4 Oh, to keep going.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. That's very interesting that you say that.
At least you know.

Speaker 2 No, I'm aware.

Speaker 2 I'm aware of what. Well, we all do it in some way.
We do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I asked that because I asked myself, too, like, when does the war ever end? You know, and when do I feel like I won the war? I don't think there ever will be. It's never ending, yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, that's why I'm not having kids, so that it doesn't get

Speaker 4 to pass it down to the other generations, right? Right, right.

Speaker 2 So I'm chopping and dreging that generational. Yeah.
Yeah. It ends with me.
I just realized this. There's two types of Koreans.
Yeah. Right?

Speaker 2 We're the other type. We're all one type.

Speaker 2 You always say this. You said it dirty Asians, right? We're the dirty ones.
We are. What do you mean, dirty ones? Like a little bit of the misfits of it all.
Oh, no. The Yankees.
What do you mean?

Speaker 2 What are you saying then? Like, when dad was a kid, right,

Speaker 2 his friends went to school and stuff. And my dad...
Shoe shined. Yeah, but he also stole, pickpocketed.
Right.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and he survived. He was a street kid, right? Yeah, yeah.
He'd pickpocket, sell things, and he had his little merry band of, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 And there's just, you know, he was, he's not an aristocrat. He's not high and mighty.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 mom has a little bit of the royal, kind of like snooty, you know what I mean? Thing. She likes what she, you know, designer shit, all that stuff.

Speaker 2 But dad is more like us, I think. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 But I have a little bit of the designer stuff, but it's like when I'm in a room with the yuppity Asians, right? You know what I'm talking about. You start getting angry.
I don't get angry.

Speaker 2 I just, I'm well aware I'm with them. Oh, you do? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 What's a dead giveaway then, like, when you're hanging out with them?

Speaker 2 What's clothes, number one? The way they dress, right? The way they handle themselves. Like, some of them will never do Tiger Belly because of the topics I bring up.

Speaker 2 Wait, you're talking about like Hollywood, Korea? Hollywood? Oh, right.

Speaker 2 I saw. Oh, I thought you were talking about in general.
In general, too. But in Hollywood as well.

Speaker 2 There's a division. There's Korean.
I don't want to name Tiger. There's Korean, but I won't do Tiger Belly.

Speaker 2 Whoa, name names. I want to know.

Speaker 2 I can't believe that.

Speaker 2 100% true. They're all laminated on a poster.
Oh, there's a shitloaded shit. Really? Grants think they're laminated on a poster?

Speaker 2 No, you take a callback for his thing.

Speaker 2 I like how you explained that. It was like, it's a callback.

Speaker 2 I'm so sorry. You can't read it? I'm so so sorry.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 My point is that, yeah, there is, we're one type. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Do you believe that or no? Yeah. I would street for sure.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I can see.

Speaker 2 There it is again. My family, I consider it to be kind of the yellow trash, if you will.
Us two. Growing up.
Yeah, we were yellow trash. Our dad, for sure.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Can I tell you a story? My dad was, I mean, this is not a segment or anything.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 4 he had an apartment on his own, like, when he was getting his kage, his clothing store. And

Speaker 2 I went to visit him. So, my dad had clothing stores in San Diego.
But, no, this is Arizona. I know.
So,

Speaker 2 he would drive to Sacramento and stay there.

Speaker 4 Riverside.

Speaker 4 But he was scouting out places in Arizona, and I didn't know he had this secret spot. And I'm like, he's like, all right, let's go to his apartment.

Speaker 4 He literally had the bare minimum, a mattress, a hot plate, and like just a razor. That's it.
And a bar saw. Oh, am I so sick? And so it dawned on me.

Speaker 4 I'm like, oh, this is the way he would live without meeting mom.

Speaker 2 This is him, you know? That's you.

Speaker 4 No, I have a computer.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 I have a computer.

Speaker 4 You need it for your business. I know, but what do you mean?

Speaker 8 I have stuff.

Speaker 2 Even when we go shoe shopping.

Speaker 4 Dude, don't bring up my shoe preferences. Is it plain Jane?

Speaker 2 Yeah, you just want brown plain Jane.

Speaker 2 I go, look at these fancy ones. No, I don't like it.
You're very like plain plain. What's wrong with that? I think you kind of transitioned

Speaker 2 the Hollywood designer end, and you kind of hung back, you know, because I was a designer. There you go.
I mean, you were trying to put me on the shoes, the, you know, the designer.

Speaker 2 What is that, golden goose? And then, you know, like exactly.

Speaker 4 He was really chunks ain't good enough.

Speaker 2 I mean, you got to pay $30 million for a golden goose. They're not.

Speaker 4 Because they look like chunks, but they're not.

Speaker 4 Dude, break them out. Let me take a look

Speaker 2 those are ridiculous let me take a look at those

Speaker 2 i would just wear those every day of the week those are chucks no i'm those are

Speaker 2 stops up for a second all right it's bullshit what you're doing what do you mean because one night i was wearing these and you go where'd you get those i was placating to your desire so

Speaker 4 oh so you were lying then oh i wanted to make it feel good a little bit That's weird.

Speaker 2 But at the end of the day, that makes me so angry. But that's weird.
That's really nice.

Speaker 2 Let's move on from the shit. At the end of the day,

Speaker 2 Chucks.

Speaker 4 I'm more that.

Speaker 2 Okay, good. Congratulations.
Yeah, thank you for being a bad guy. Thank you for being a Hanguchigo.