Bobby Uncorked ft. Stavros Halkias

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Hey, what up, bad friends? I am here in New York City, baby, The big schmapple. I'm running around promoting my new special, my new special, Cheeseburger Drops, tomorrow.
Tomorrow on Netflix, it is out. Please watch it, tell a friend, tell everyone you know, sit back, relax, and enjoy a cheeseburger with me on Tuesday night on Netflix, tomorrow.
Please watch it January 10th. Share it with everybody you know.

Cheeseburger on Netflix.

Also, Bad Friends just added a date.

Go to badfriendspod.com.

We're doing the Nashville Comedy Festival

to start off our tour.

It's the only date that we put up so far

outside of the three that we're doing in February.

So go to badfriendspod.com to see us.

Come see us in Spokane, in Seattle, and Vancouver.

And then we are going to be starting the Bad Friends Tour out there in Nashville, baby, on 420. BadFriendsPod.com is where you're going to get those tickets.
And please watch Cheeseburger on Netflix now. Hey, all you Bad Friends out there.
It's Juicy, Jet Ski, Jeffrey, Ski Mask, whatever you want, want johnson anyway after you watch andrew's special cheeseburger on netflix come check me out san jose improv january 18th i'm headlining my own show do you know the way to san jose if not it's a really easy google. That's how I got directions to the club.

Okay.

Hope to see you.

Thanks for all the support.

Love you guys.

Bye.

You two are bad friends.

Who are these two idiots?

White dude and an Asian dude.

You two are disgusting.

You two are something.

We're bad friends.

God has certain prototypes body-wise.

Body-wise prototypes. And this is the Maddie Matheson, you know what I mean? Time out.
Time out. First of all, that's a friend of mine.
But don't compare Stav to Matty Matheson. Yeah.
No, it's just a body. Not all fat bodies are the same.
Although he is a little titties, big belly guy. He is.
Oh, yeah. That's a good.
That is. I think that is the best.
You know what? Actually, I'm going to do a full 180. I'm actually on Bobby's side here.
Because I do believe this is the best fat body to have. It's little titties, big stomach.
You don't want to be too fluffy. You want to be hard.
Yeah. You want to be compact.
Smooth. Right? Look at my shit.
Oh, sexy dog. You know what I'm saying? No ripples.
Yeah. And I weigh 300 pounds.
And guys like you are athletic. I am shockingly athletic.
Yeah. Yeah.
You can't run far, but you can find fast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right, this guy? He runs quick, not fast. Quick.
Fast is long term. Like Gimli.
Remember in Lord of the Rings? Yeah. He was like catching up with Legolas.
That's the kind of guy I am in a video game. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The hammer, the guy with the big hatch. Yeah.
First of all, shout out to Stavros. So Stavros is on the show today.
Our boy Stav, who's got a calendar out right now, 2023. That's right.
Get it right now, you fucking sluts. Get it.
Stavvy.biz. Stavvy.biz.
I mean, look at the cast. God damn, it's so fire.
I need to work on my ass. If I didn't look at the face, like, is that Kate Moss? No.
I need to work on my ass. Yeah, yeah, no.
Also, Stavros mom baked us cookies. Shout out to Little V.
Little V. Little V.
Little V, she rules. And Bobby initially said some dumb shit.
He did. I don't like it.
No, no, no. Don't, don't, don't.
No, no, you did. You said, I don't like homemade cookies.
I'm not going to eat it. Oh, come on.
Lame. You think he looks like that from not good cookies? You think my mom doesn't make good cookies? Whoa.
Okay. So explain this to him because he doesn't know what these are.
You're right. Okay.
So we have three varieties there. We've got your classic baklava.
Baklava, baby. And that's a standard, but actually I think the other two are where my mom really shines.
We have the curabia, which is the little powdered sugar one. That's a butter cookie.
That's just awesome. Sugar and butter.
I know this. Yo, yo, yo, yo.
Curabia. You're Greek greek i am you know stamos i wish i did that's my he's your leader i know dude no absolutely janice papas i don't know how he's got the connect but you and janice know each other we do so he's hogging stamos yo he's hogging stamos i'm not cool you're not fucking greek yeah well should i call You know Samos? Yes.
I'm going to call Samos. Call him would hawk him too dude You're not fucking Greek Yeah Should I call Stamos Yes I'm gonna call Stamos Call him right now You know Stamos He does He knows all sorts of weirdos Hey watch your mouth About John Stamos No no no I just mean people He's not gonna pick up for me Of course not Let's see if he does You wanna see if Stamos Wakes up Say the correct way To say this stop Curabia Curabia There it is Should I FaceTime it? He's not going to answer, so you do whatever you want These are so good And that's not even her best cookie, the brown one Called the Melo Macarono Careful, dude Relax Wait, what's this called, stop? Melo Macarono It's an almond Thato.
It's an almond. That one is a orange peel olive oil cookie.
You're going to love it. God damn, bro.
Tasting this one, too. Soak that motherfucker in honey.
Fuck John Stamos. That's her magnum opus.
Fuck John Stamos. No, no, no.
Be careful. Fuck this guy.
Fuck this guy. Fuck this guy.
Fuck this guy. Fuck this guy.
Fuck this guy. You made him look like a fucking fool, dude.
He did. He really embarrassed you.
Fucking piece of shit. Fucking fuck full house.
He diminished you in my eyes. Fucking diminished, man.

He's not the leader, man. You're the new leader.

Thank you, Bobby.

You're the new leader, dude.

I appreciate that.

Yeah, fucks Damos, dude.

Can I tell you something?

Is this good?

I'm not kidding.

So good.

It's so fucking...

Look at Pete.

Pete Welder.

She's out of...

She's unbelievable.

I'm halfway done.

Would she eat this one?

That's a great one.

No, no, no.

The brown one is her best cookie, though.

Which one?

This brown one right here?

Just tell them how to say it.

Melo Macarono. Melo Macarono.
I got it, Dad. Look at me.
I got it. I don't even Tell them how to say it.
Melo Macarono.

Melo Macarono.

I got it, dad.

Look at me.

I got it.

I don't even have the answer.

Okay, let's see.

Let's see.

Melo Macarono.

That's not bad, dude.

You were close until the end.

Time out.

Time out.

What up, Drew?

Jan Pop.

Jan Pop, you're on Bad Friends right now.

Stavros is here.

Okay?

Dikales, Dikales.

Yashu, Yashu, Phile. The Greeks are taking over, bro.
Stavros is here okay i'm calling yashu yashu phile the greeks are taking over bro this is their thing this is their thing we're talking in code that's true it's kanye stuff guys yan i'm gonna say something real fast and i love you to death we just ate melomakanin melomakanino made by his mom he's on some He's on some Heavy Greek shit It's so fucking good I'm gonna throw this out to you And I know you're with your family I know it's late What time is it in New York? It doesn't matter Midnight Yanni answers for me He's got a child Hold on Yann We just went Greek shit down for dinner. That's right.
That's true, that's true.

Jan, I gotta know.

Real talk, because I love you.

We're old friends.

How come you haven't introduced Stav to fucking Stamos?

Bro, it's all part of the plan.

You guys don't understand.

This is a Greek takeover.

We're taking back the civilization we created.

That's true.

Because what you people have done with it is just not good.

Let me ask you something.

Ask Giannis this question.

He can hear you.

Giannis, do you hear me?

Yeah, Stavos is the Trojan horse

that's coming through.

Giannis, I just called you.

Why didn't you switch over?

I just fucking called you.

Why didn't you switch over?

Did you get my call?

Did you get my call?

I saw it coming in.

I saw it coming in. I saw it coming in, Bobby, but I didn't even know you were there.
I mean, are you there? Are you even there? Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
By the way, let's be real. How close is Italy and Ireland to Greece? Much closer than South Korea.
Nice try. And the thing about Greece is they do have a very rigid ranking of the races.
Right. And you're not up there.
In my personal ranking, Koreans are way up there. Okay, good.
Give me the Greek ranking, and I'm going to give you the Korean ranking. Time out.
Giannis. You want to go ranking? Giannis, I love you.
I'll talk to you soon. You know what? I don't actually think ranking races is the way to start the podcast.
I think I've changed my mind. No, no, no.
I think that's how we start. It is on this podcast.
The cookie by the way The cookie's delicious No no no no Let's be honest One of the best Be nice to Lil V Be nice to Lil V Some of the best cookies I've ever had homemade In my fucking life I'm trying to convince you To go bakery mode with it 100 I wanted to open up a bakery It's so good I'll be honest with this Stavros Yes please Okay Did I say it right? Close Stavros There you go He's never gonna get it I got it He nailed it I'll never try the last name though No it's not that hard Give me a shot Halkius Stavros Halkius No even still You say it Stavros He rolled the R Oh wow Stavros I can't have a Korean tongue dude I can't do that. I have a fat Korean tongue.
Is that really a... Let me try to roll my tongue.
Okay. Yes.
No, because I had to do it with my lips. Slow down.
Slow down. You can't roll your R's? You do it.
I can't do it. I can't do it.
I'm more like doing a gar. Stavros.
Stavros. Stavros.
Stavros. Oh, yeah.

But I'm more like doing a gargle.

Now, let me ask you this.

How does that affect your eating pussy?

What do you mean?

If you can't roll an R, that's not a good sign for how you eat pussy.

I don't mean...

Yeah, no, no, no.

I don't want to start our relationship like this, but that is...

You're right, you're right, you're right.

But you know what?

How about this, though?

Let me make it a car analogy.

Okay, please.

Some cars have faster stick shift, right?

What?

I don't think that's bad at all.

Let me try.

Let me try.

Let me try.

Let me try.

Let me try.

This guy hates cars.

Let me try.

He knows nothing about cars.

Yeah, try.

No, no, no.

I want it.

No, no, no.

Hold on.

Finish it.

They have a faster, what did you say?

What?

A faster what? Stick shift. Some cars have a faster stick shift.
Some cars have a stick shift. No, I'm going to frigate it.
Hold on. Finish it.
They have a faster, what did you say? What? A faster what? Stick shift. Some cars have a faster stick shift.
No. I can't wait to soup up my stick shift.
Let me try. Let me try, all right? Some cars have stick shifts.
Okay. There you go.
Like a Mustang. Right? Sure.
Sure, right? Yeah. And some cars are automatic.
True. They're a smart car, right? Right? I'm just going to say yes to everything.
One car goes faster than the other, right? But they both get there. Dude, honestly? Did I get there? Did I get there? Thank you.
You did. There was a lot of scenery around there that was unnecessary.
You know what I mean? All right, right, right. We didn't need the stick shift.
There was mainly a speed analogy. Yeah, but I can't roll the tongue.
But I can stick it in the hole. Is that good? Show how you eat box.
The whole tongue? Are you being real, though? Yeah. I need a thing, then.
Can I make a vagina out of this? Yeah, whatever you want, man.

You know what?

You know what's cool?

This is what I'm going to do.

Imagine like, you know, David Fincher.

Sometimes, like, you know, like if Brad Pitt's looking in a sink. That actually is a pretty good simulated pussy.

He puts the camera in the sink to look up, right?

So imagine the camera's in the vagina.

Are you getting into filmmaking?

Yeah.

This is the opening scene. So imagine, right? Okay.
Oh, no. Your whole tongue in the pussy? No.
Not too much? Too much. But if you like.
Slow down. If you lay it in there.
Slow down. What? What do you mean? You go fist first.

You go first first?

Fist first.

I do finger first, right?

No, no.

You surprise him.

Yeah.

You just do a karate thing.

You do a karate thing.

I get it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'm not good.

I'm not good.

Are you good at it?

I am, yeah, yeah.

King.

Because Andrew was telling me that you get a lot.

I do, yeah, yeah.

How?

Is that possible?

You just got to believe in yourself.

Time out. Take a second.
Take a second. I do.
How? Is that possible? You just gotta believe in yourself. Time out.

Take a second.

Don't insult my friend.

I wasn't insulting you.

How is that possible? Here's the thing. It was coming from a legit

place of wonder. From a little

fat guy.

Let me ask you something.

In your head, you're asking me how do I get girls, right?

Yeah, I can see it.

I can see it with you. I can see it with you as well.
I just wanted the people to listen. Okay, so let me be the moderator as a not fat guy.
What do you think he does to get the puss? And what do you think he does to get the puss? What do you think his strengths are with the puss? And what do you think his strengths are with the puss? This is good. Oh, this is good.
This is good. This is a good exercise.
And I'm going to be real, not funny. Please.
Let's go real, right? You're always real. You know what? That's an attack.
No, I said you're always real. I said you're always real.
That is a bit of an attack. But that's a little bit of an attack, dude.
Because what you're saying is he can't, he's not trying to be funny. Right, right.
No, no, no, no. You're saying he's a buffoon.
Yeah. Yes.
Yes, and? We're two peas in a pod. Yes, we are.
And without the second pea, there would be no... Thank you.
God bless. The king of analogies.
I'm the king of analogies. Sometimes the pods have a really fast diction.
All right, so you tell him he's... I want to hear him for you.
May I ask him some questions then? Sure. Let me ask you some questions.
This is how I'm going to get there, okay? Go ahead. Do you believe that because of your comedy and what you do for a living, stand-up and potty and this and that, gave you confidence enough to get the girls? It just – initially, probably.
Thank you. Yes, initially, yes.
I'll give you that. Yeah.
Yeah. But what I'm asking you is that the flow before you were Stavros, right, probably was average.
I still fucked more than I should have, given my body. Okay, good.
But not much more. How many times a year, you think? How many times a year did I fuck? Before the Stavros.
Ask a month. How many times a month? Oh, shit.
Month? Year? Yeah. Year.
A week. How many times a year did I fuck? Before the staffer.
Ask a month. How many times a month? Oh, shit.
Month? Year? Yeah. Year.
A week. How many times a month is a more accurate description? How many times a month would you? Okay.
Let's see here. See, I started.
There's a real turning point when I was getting pussy. When I moved out of my family's house.
In college, I had a college girlfriend. I fucked one girl, right? The whole time.
Red hair, freckles probably. I wish.
That's enough. A college girl.
In my fantasy. They're always redheads.
Yeah, I don't like that girl. Every girl in college.
The Wendy's girl. Oh, Wendy.
Or, you know, what's the long stockings? Pippi Longstock. Pippi Longstockings.
Is that her name? Yeah. Let's say before I was popping, I can tell you...
Actually, I'll tell you in the year, there was one year before I moved to New York. Yeah.
That was the first time I lived with my friends outside of my house, and I fucked 10 girls that year. And that was a nice...
One a month almost. And that was a nice one.
For a fat guy, that's a great number. For any guy.
For a great number. I was dating two of them.
So I slowed down, you know, dude, let me tell you something. I'm going to, I'm going to level you up.
That was the first year of getting pussy for me. I'm going to bring this back down to earth.
Oh, let's go. 10 guy, 10, 10 girls, almost one a month for any dude.
Good looking dude. Even still a good number.
Still a really good number. Interesting.
That's a really good number. Yeah, if you're not a go-out-and-get-pussy.
Let's get specific. Yeah, but even the go-out-and-get-pussy guy, he's so aggressive.
He's maybe getting three in one month, then two, three months. He gets hot, you're right.
Right. He's streaky.
That guy's streaky. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're consistent. Just for my information, how many of those is raw dog? Oh, boy.
Well, this was a while ago, right? It's a deep cut. This was, what years ago? Oh, dude, 10 years was they were no aids then no yeah so i'm gonna say i did buy a couple plan b's oh actually you know what you know i had a very scary thing happen this is a great this thank you for reminding me this give it i was with so in that year i dated two girls like kind of on again off again regularly may i ask what race race? These were both white women.
Fuck yeah. I was trying to go white free 2022, and that blew up in smoke.
I was dating a Korean girl, actually, and then she got a boyfriend while I was on the road. Oh, shit.
Yeah, and I was dating a different... I was in a Mexican-Korean zone where I had a little roster.
That's a great zone. You know what I mean? Well, because they're kind of...
Really? I don't think so. What do you mean? Filipinos are the Mexicans of Asians? Yeah, but the disappointment meter of where your parents is like more...
No, no, no. ...leaning one.
His mom's busy making these cookies. She don't give a fuck about who he's piping.
My mom is actually a very progressive woman. She'd be happy if I...
Lil V doesn't care. If I came home with a woman of any race she's so happy stoked she wants she wants grandkids she doesn't care what color they are god bless little v she's the fuck she's the best god bless let's move on um so yeah so uh i was dating this girl and we were watching that this was the year that jenny slate movie about getting an abortion oh yeah i remember this yeah yeah uh problem child obvious child obvious child Problem think yeah problem child was the little that was what i was in yeah yeah that was my movie yeah that was my foray into acting yes yes yeah so i had been dating this girl for like two months and it come and fully raw dogging her yeah just fully didn't bust in because i was still a little i was a gentleman i was a little scared too scared good When you say fully, is there a half way of doing it? Yeah, it's like what you do.
You put a couple, you took a couple swipes. You're like half in.
What does that mean? Your fully erect penis only reaches half in, I think is what he's getting at. Is that what you mean? My dick size? Jordan.
There is a way to, it was a quick joke and you missed it. No, I got it.
Yeah. No, I got it.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Well, how big is your penis, Bobby? What are you mad at Andrew for here? That's Bobby's penis. Is that not your penis? Is that not your penis? Okay, can I say something? Is that or is that not your penis? Say yes or no fast.
Yes, yes. Okay, thank you.
But, yes, but in one step, like, is Bruce Banner Hulk? Ah. Is Bruce Banner Hulk? Okay No! They're two different entities, right? I understand So when the fuck he gets angry Right, turns into this yellow monster You know what I mean? Yeah, once he sees a little kid with a fucked up face He gets to be a giant monster Mario Puffy Hulk a smasher pussy I love Hulk with an Asian accent Hulk a smash a smash a pussy yeah yeah it's good alright so by the way collect more information so you know well let me finish this story the plan.
Fully raw. Which, by the way, there is such thing as kind of raw dogging.
That's when you get like four pumps in before putting the condom on. Oh, I've never done that.
When you treat yourself to a couple pumps. You know? Oh, that's nice.
You're like, come on. You can't catch fucking I feel like Europeans in four pumps.
You know what I mean? I feel like Europeans do it that way. You know what that's like? That's like trying ice cream at the shop.
Oh, that's what that is. Just a little sample.
Oh, yeah, I'll have the whole scoop. Anyway, we were way past that.
I've just been maybe even unnutted once. Anyway.
Put one out. We're watching this movie, and Jenny Slate has it, you know, and she's like, oh, my I just I could never do that Like I could just Never have an abortion We just never had this conversation I assumed I'm dating an alcoholic In Baltimore We're both in our early 20s Like of course You're getting an abortion Like what the fuck And then I'm like Oh well that's kind of Fucking crazy That you're telling me this But thank god You're on birth control And she was like I'm not on birth control I was just just like, no! My life flashed before my eyes, bro.
She was Christian? She wasn't even. But she probably had Christian parents.
Yeah, probably. Something got into her head to be like, abortion is wrong and I'm not taking birth control.
Right, right, right. Anyway, my whole fucking life flashed before my eyes.
I was like, what? That's crazy. I have just been absolutely no condom whatsoever.

Yeah.

Just no abandon.

I wasn't even thinking about putting on a condom for months.

So this guy now, though, he's being a good boy.

Now he knows.

But now I'm up to 85% condom usage.

God bless.

Which is pretty big.

Oh, that's pretty good.

Good number.

Yeah, yeah.

That's good.

That's good.

I literally don't even know how they work.

Open it up.

I blow on it.

I don't know what that's like. You raw dog? I generally do, yeah.
Wow. Yeah, he does.
Well, Koreans don't get it. Well, in Korea.
I've never met a Korean with a thing. Well, you know in Korea.
Like with a ward or anything like that? Condoms are illegal. They treat condoms in Korea like menthol cigarettes here in California.
Really? Yeah, they're illegal. Yeah.
They're against the law. But I don't have sex with a lot of people.
No? Why not? You're a cute guy. Let's move on.
No. Let's move on.
Okay, but let me say this. You could be having sex with people.
You could have sex with as many people as you want. Yeah, but you know what? I have an ethic.
No, you don't. Is that how you say it? You don't have an ethic.
I just sounded so easy. You don't even know how to say it.
I have ethic. You don't have ethic.
That's not the way you use that word and you don't have it. That's not how you use that word.
I have ethics. I guess.
Right? And a morality. Yeah.
What is this? Read what it says. Ethics is right.
Moral principles that govern a person's behavior or the conducting of an activity. There you go.
Moral principles that govern a person's behavior of the... And by the way, guys, Stavis World podcast just launched.
You're going to want to subscribe. Go listen to Stavis World.
You think you're leaving? You're not leaving it. No, no, no.
You're getting more of that. I just like to get the plug in right up top.
Smart. But Stavis, you don't want to be in a relationship, though? I do.
I mean, I was in one. I was in one for a while.
How long? And then we broke up. We were dating for like two years.
Yeah. And then we broke up, I was on the road right after the pandemic and I just got my little titty sucked from sea to shining sea for a little bit.
Yeah. And for me, when I go on the road, I can't get it because I'm not a close.
I can't open and close in one night. What do you mean? Yeah, you can.
No, I can't. I could open hard, but I can't close.
What are you talking about? Because for me, it's like, let's say you're a club.

All the stuff is done,

the work is done for you on the road.

You were so funny tonight.

Oh, you think so?

Yeah.

What are you doing after this?

You want to be Instagram friends?

I always do that.

I make it harder.

I make it more challenging.

I was going to suck your dick.

Yeah.

Okay, can I tell you,

let's just cut to the chase, right? Can we role play it though or no? You won't. I want to play the girl.
Because I want to be that Korean guy. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.
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ShipStation.com, BADFRIENDS, promo code. DoorDash! You know, I get a lot of food from DoorDash.
I think you exclusively get food from DoorDash. I would be dead without them.
I know. Not only get, I get other things as well.
You've got back-to-back meetings, errands to run. Yes.
Chores to take care of. I do.
What's the secret to clearing your to-do list? Well, tell me. I don't know.
A little help from DoorDash. You can get dinner, household essentials, and everything on your grocery list delivered.
That makes a lot of sense because I got to tell you something. You need last-minute stuff like school supplies or an impromptu dinner or fresh flowers for a loved one, which Bobby usually sends to me, but he has it in a couple of weeks.
DoorDash is there for you. Listen, you guys know what DoorDash is.
We've talked about it before. It's incredible.
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You be you and he'll be the Korean girl. All right.
That's what he loves. So this is me after the show? Well, ask what my name is, all that.
I'll ask what your name is. I need the whole thing.
What's your name? In fact, no, I gotta walk into it. Hey baby girl, what's your name? Can I walk into it? Let him walk in.
Whatever you need to do. That's how he gets into character.
Actor's studio. Yeah.
Just tuck your penis into your balls. No, no.
Yes. Get into character! Korean women's ass are flat, so I want to do the flat walk She didn't have a flat ass No, she had a nice ass She was hot He's saying she's hot Act hot This is not doing it for me Did somebody get this frumpy bitch Out of my eye line? Hi Hey You're really funny on stage Thank you I'm Sung Hong Sung Hong Chong.
Hey, Sung Hong Chong. Hi.
That sounds like a really cool, not racist name. I love your humor.
It's edgy. He's like, squirt squirt.
What's going on with your tits? What's going on with your tits? I have a little lychee fruit tits. Lychee fruit tits.
Squirt squirts out little lychee. You think maybe I could put those bad boys in my mouth or what? Both of them? One at a time, whatever your preference is.
Yeah, but where? Like we're at a club. At my hotel room.
I'm actually staying right around the corner. Yeah? Yep.
How about tomorrow? I'm really, I'm not going to be around. It's all good.
It's tonight or nothing, but either way. Knock, knock, knock it's me song hong chong again you never told me your hotel room number so i knocked on every single door and this is the 40th door and i'm so glad because i was this is gonna be like my last one you see what he does yeah yeah that's how he gets to suck on tits right so it is true you want to suck on the tits? Yep.
Okay, they're a little dirty. Why? Because I just fucking worked out pretty much.
I went to every floor, knocked on every door. So they're sweaty, not dirty.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Can I just... Can I sprinkle them in the faucet? No.
No, I need it fucking marinated. You want to marinate it? I need those titties marinated.
All right. Like Galbi sauce.
Yeah, Galbi. Like, okay.
Let me get some fucking... All right, so which tip do you want to start with? This one? I'll go left Do you see? Do you know what's going on? Oh man, they're kind of smaller than I was expecting Yeah Anyway, this one? Yep, I guess Hey, you want to just go ahead and just suck me off real quick? Well, that's what you would do? Honestly Yeah yeah That is legitimately though

Yeah

I am just like

Hey do you want to come

To my hotel room?

Do you get rejected?

Do you get rejected?

Yeah I'll get rejected

And in the hotel room

Hey you want to suck me up

Do you get rejected there?

In the hotel room

I do not get rejected

But you say that directly

Hey you want to suck me off?

If someone's coming

To your hotel

At fucking midnight

What do they think

Is happening?

Yeah they know

They all know what's up

They know

And here's the other thing

Bobby that you should do

Put out a sexual vibe

Look at the calendar

I handed you

Thank you. hotel at fucking midnight what do you what do they think is happening yeah they all know what's up they know and here's the other thing bobby that you that you should do put out a sexual vibe look at the calendar i handed you i mean that's a guy if you're coming to that guy's hotel room you don't think you're sucking his dick oh i get it see i've put it out animals exactly you love the animal yeah yeah i've put it out into the world that this is what i'm into And if you're responding to it You're That's the vibe We all know the score Let me ask you Andrew But don't you get it though Like this is what I say to you I was once like you Yeah I was As a youth I don't know why the fuck Honestly I would expect you to fuck so much more I'm saying I see it in you I see pussy getting I really do.
You know, but I'll be honest with you. Can I say something? Please.
I'm more of a relationship guy. Are you or is that what you're telling yourself? Oh, interesting.
Interesting. Interesting.
Interesting. Interesting.
Interesting. I like this.
And you might be. Ultimately, you might be.
But I think also you wouldn't mind getting pussy a lot for six months. Mm-hmm.
Does that sound bad? You know, that's okay. It sounds good, but...
Seeing 24 different tits in a six-month period, does that sound bad to you? But can I say something? It's just that I think it's me. Like, I get weirded out by people.
You know what I mean? And like, they'll say certain things and I'll just get weirded out and I can't do it. Okay.
I think I'm just a weird guy. What do you mean? You are a weird guy for sure, but that doesn't mean you can't fuck.
No, it's like, you know, I've never seen Star Wars. That'll throw me off.
Oh, if a girl says that. Who cares? You know what I mean? Is this pre or post-nutting? Pre.
Pre, pre, pre. This matters.
I need like a DS9, like Deep Space Nine, Star Trek kind of connection. Oh, there's plenty.
Oh here's a good... Dude, you're in luck.
Tell me. The internet is flooded with, like, autistic girls that just realized you could be horny.
Yep. That's everywhere.
Oh, Spectrum. It's big, dude.
Oh, really? Yeah. Are you into trans girls? A lot of trans girls.
Can we get you on Love on the Spectrum? Would you do that show? Do you think I have it? No. You got something, but not that.
I don't know. What, do you think I have Down syndrome? People think I don't know what do you think i have down syndrome people think i have 50 down syndrome i'm not racist i know you don't have down syndrome i don't know dude yeah you i watch that show none of them yeah deal for me yeah are you into trans girls at all a lot of like there's a lot of sci-fi trans girls on the internet.
I'm serious. What do you mean?

Describe a sci-fi trans girl.

Well, you guys started it.

It was an Asian thing.

What, trans or sci-fi?

No, sci-fi trans.

Oh, the combination.

Oh, the combination.

Honestly, both.

Okay, the combination.

Not your style of Asian, but yeah.

You guys started it.

That's on you guys.

Like a chick who's a horse with a dick and like five heads.

That's you guys, dude.

But we did it in animation style, though.

But you wanted it to be real.

You think so?

Yeah, that's why horse with a dick and like five heads. That's you guys, dude.
We did it in animation style, though. But you wanted it to be real.
You think so? Yeah, that's why you animate stuff. You wish that was real.
I'm going to argue that. Go ahead.
Is there like a Korean hentai culture, too? No, but it's not that far away. So, you know what I mean? Japan.
So, it's pretty close. Yeah, but those guys, Japan fucked your asses.
You guys don't like them, right? I saw an anime where an octopus was fucking, you know what I mean, six Japanese girls with each, you know what I mean, tentacle, right? That's a classic. And if I saw that in real life, I would just be like, call! Of course.
Call the coast guard! Get the coast guard! I would freak out. I wouldn't jerk off, right? I don't know.
You don't know until you're in that situation. Oh, right, right.
Once you've called the Coast Guard, then you're like, all right, they're on their way? All right. I've done my due diligence.
They're coming at the same time whether I bust or not. Right.
Who am I hurting? Sometimes you just want to see it in anime. I get it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so how about this? Let's get back to square one.
Okay, let's do it. We're you think is the the key nugget for why he pulls and what do you think is a key nugget for why he pulls i got it for sure all right stav give it to him do you want to go first bobby go ahead okay thank you uh you're welcome i think by just being a cute little guy cute little guy it's a so it's a little statue no no i just mean uh spiritually he could be he could'8".
He'd be a cute little guy. Right.
You know what I mean? He's got like a... Especially the relationship thing.
Now, is it maybe a bit of a crutch? Because I was that guy when I couldn't... I didn't believe my...
I didn't want to put myself out there. I'm telling you.
Listen. Can I just say something right now, dude? Yeah.
Stop right there, dude. Okay.
You're beginning to piss me off. Because of my accuracy? No, no, no.
Stop, stop, stop. Bullseye.
We're the same guy. I'm trying to tell you we're the same guy.
You're acting as if you're above me. In terms of getting your dick sucked? I know, but this is my fucking house.
I know you got me on a fucking inflatable chair. I know.
This is my dojo. This is my dojo.
This is my dojo. This is my dojo.
This is my dojo. This is my dojo.
This is my dojo. This is my dojo.
This is my dojo. This is my dojo.
This is my dojo. So, you know what? I'm going to allow it, but I'm just saying there are feelings being aroused okay alright so go ahead okay what I'm telling you is I when I college girlfriend why did I only fuck one girl in college could I have fucked more yes I didn't want to put myself out there I didn't want to get rejected so I slowly built up this this relationship and yeah was it meaningful because I you know I fell in love all this stuff yes but also it was safer my feelings didn't get hurt I didn't make a move until I was like a thousand percent sure this girl liked me right and there's a little bit of that to being like now some people are just serial monogamous right is that what you really are or do you just not want to? Because rejection does hurt.

Bro, I was at the comedy store a month ago.

He's asking.

There was a girl in the audience, right?

She was super hot, right?

I wrote a letter.

A letter?

Just listen.

You took out a pen?

Yeah, I went to the office and I wrote a letter.

You typed it?

No, I just wrote it down.

Bobby.

What?

You don't write.

Yes.

I swear I got it. You can.
One of these guys. Carlos probably wrote it.
Carlos wrote it for you. No, no, no.
You penned it. You can call R.A.
Maness right now and ask him about the letter. A handwritten note.
I wouldn't say a letter. I put boxes.
Okay, go on. I'm trying to make a funny.
Oh, that's cute. Do you like me? Yes or no? Whatever.
You know what I mean? What did it say? It says, hi, I think you're cute. Do you like me? Yes or no? Who is this to? The girl from the audience.
Alright, so go on. And I go, here's my phone number.
you know what did it say it says hi i think you're cute do you like me yes or no who is this to the girl from the audience all right so go on and i go here's my phone number you know i don't normally do this right and ask ari i gave it to her she went she gave me a face like yeah and i see her reading in the audience she folded back up and i'm sitting in the bath back booth and i saw her drop it on the floor. Brutal.
Did that hurt? Yeah. No.
Yeah. You're lying.
I did. Yeah.
But you know what? I still gave it a shot. Yeah, you have to.
Okay. So I do do it.
That's step one, though. Next step.
Oh, there's more steps. You got to say it to her.
You got to look her in the eyes when you ask. That's right.
Oh, so the letter was bad. Letter was bad.
But think, because you know what? I would have to wait to the end of the show. You, you don't want to wait.
No. Sure.
Or you have to sit by the women's bathroom to see if they get up. You tried to get her to you tried to get her in the middle of the show.
She paid money for it. You were like, hey, do you want to get out? I was first.
So you watch 12 minutes of comedy. No, that's why I gave her my number.
That's why I just gave her my number. I go like later.
later. Yeah.
You know what I mean? And I go, and so she never called, and she dropped the thing.

Well, I would say a lot of in, it's, okay, if you're not a conventionally attractive

man, a conventionally handsome man, but you are a cute guy.

Some women think I think I'm very handsome.

Okay.

My friend Holly is here.

She thinks I'm very, Holly.

Do you think I'm handsome?

I think you're very handsome.

Thank you. Do you employ her by any chance? No, no,'s but she is blind thank you holly thank you no she thinks you're handsome he or attractive he wasn't saying that he's saying conventionally which means a vast majority of the public would agree that means like like brad pitt is conventionally hot we just all know no matter who you are, no how straight you are You'd go that guy's hot It just doesn't matter What I'm saying is you are your cute guy But also what's going to put you over the top is your vibes You have isolated You've basically taken away Your biggest advantage with that letter Because the person to person contact is what you have going for you listen up dude that's true you okay he's right he might be he is fuck you because you're magnetic personality can i make an argument though please sure all right i had already crushed she got the vibe no no no but that for her.
That was for everybody. He's saying you got attention on her.

And you're right, though.

You need to convert that.

Exactly.

You've done the hard part.

You've made the nice first impression.

You just go in with any kind of bullshit conversation.

You'll know if she wants to fuck you or not.

Have a bullshit.

What's up?

How's your day?

Anything.

I don't want to fuck first night.

Why not?

She may not want to either, but maybe it's just putting out the vibe.

It's weird.

I don't know her. Okay, that's fine.
That's fair. Fine.
Yeah, I don don't know her i don't know what kind of do we have a philosophical difference here also some women are crazy you don't know on the surface you're like oh she's a christian but like she's a crazy person behind closed doors you know what i mean yes they'll like spit in your face and like you know i mean choke me and like what every every girl i've wanted to be choked in the last in the last year choking is a that's a cultural standard it's an american culture it is yeah is would that still be considered christian now oh yeah all right okay are you a big christian i didn't realize huge christian no but i love i love missionary that's my favorite position. Sure.
Is choking in the Bible?

Ask if choking's in the Bible.

I bet you.

Choking, how many girls are into it?

80% of women want your hand around their neck at some point.

Are you being real?

That's what the internet says, and that's never wrong.

I know, but here's my thing.

It's like, let me, okay, I'm, talk me through this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Talk me through it.

Okay.

Talk me through it, right?

Okay.

I'm doing my favorite position, missionary. Okay.
Right? And I'm looking at her. Not her favorite, but go ahead.
Yeah, yeah Talk me through it Talk me through it right Okay I'm doing my favorite position Missionary Okay Right And I'm looking at her Not her favorite But go ahead Yeah yeah yeah It doesn't matter No I know It's what you want Yeah I get it in You know how you do No you do Not me Two different guys You don't stick it in Well you gotta be so close To get it all the way in You're in Do it again Sorry go ahead Sorry You're fucking Right so I'm fucking right Alright right Do you have a secret move In missionary Do you do anything special I do this move Thank you dad Yeah I do Is that what they call it Yeah I do I sound on an album I do that move Ellen does it Yeah yeah Right right right So then I'll do that move Right and then I'll go And then so in my mind I'm like okay I'm gonna do the choking 80% I mean what wrong? 80%? What could go wrong? So let me ask you my question. Do you go right in? Yeah.
Or do you like kind of move your hand up on the shoulder? You do a shoulder. He knows.
And then you just, okay, I got it around the neck. And how hard do you squeeze? Pretty hard.
Hard as you can. Wait, you squeeze as hard as you can? Pretty hard.
You don't seem like you have strong hands. What? I don't think you can.
I think it would take a while for you to suffocate a woman. Squeeze my wrist.
Squeeze my wrist like it's a neck. That's another attack.
That's another attack. It's not an attack.
Why do you side with him? I'm going to like I see him. Oh, so you have more choking strength.
I have big, fat fucking hands, yes. I have meaty workman's hands.
My father was a carpenter. His father was a construction worker.
My dad was blue collar as well. What did he do? He hit you.
He hit me and my mom. He worked on him and his mom all day long.
Sit still. Yeah.
No, but what he's saying to you is. Go crazy.
Go crazy Missionary choke Bobby you deserve it I'll go to prison No jury on earth is convicting that little face You give him those puppy dog eyes I see I see I see I'm the judge And you're defending yourself Mr. I'm the judge.
I'm the judge. Yeah, yeah.
And you're defending yourself, right?

Okay.

Mr. Lee, we saw that you choked out a woman nearly to death.

How do you plead?

Not guilty.

Look at his hands.

Do it with an accent.

How do you plead?

Oh, I have an accent?

How do you plead, Bobby Lee?

I'm not guilty.

Oh, they're getting out of here.

He's good.

Why am I high-pitched?

He's good to go.

No, because you all got to go high-pitched. That makes you sweet and innocent.
Right, because there's several different Asian accents. Let me try blow pitch, see how that works.
Mr. Lee, you choked a girl almost to death.
How do you plead? Look at his hands. Oh, lock him up.
Lock him up. I have no strength in his hands.
No, I don't buy it. You sound like you run a dojo.
So it's more like, look at his hands. How do I talk? I don't know.
Oh, I see. I don't know.
Something's off there, too. Something.
I want you to try a Stav method. In fact, I've said this to you before.
We've had this conversation. I wish Stav wrote a book on the Stav method of how to do all this shit sexually, and I want people to try it.
You know the game? I'm thinking about it. The Hard Dick Warriors way.
Oh. I'm thinking about it.
I'll read it. I'll be the first guy.
Sign my book. Sign my book.
Remember that? The game? Neil Strauss did the game? We talked about this? Yes. I was like, why would hasn't someone done that? That was 20 years ago.
I met that guy. Right? Neil Strauss.
I met him. But that was 20 years ago.
How come no one's done a book like that since? Why would you do that? Mine is not, it's not like focused around tricking women right that's psychological yours is just here's a here's a way to do this and to do it cool without being annoying yeah yeah absolutely like in this in that book right that stop that's froth's book yeah my roommate my first roommate in la read the there's a thing where it's like if you're at a bar right you see four girls, you look at the one that's hot, but then you make fun of the one that's hot. To the one that's not.
And then you hit on the other ones. Is that one of the moves? Yeah.
That never worked for me. Listen, listen.
That's not in the hard dick warriors way. Tell them what the hard dick warriors way.
You just go up there, you start having a good time with the whole crew. Whoever gives you the vibe, you fuck her.
That's it. You you let them decide for you right i was in seattle and i hung out with this group of friends i couldn't i think i could have fucked like three of them and then we just stayed out all night and i was like god it's like fucking it's 3 a.m we're just drinking in a public park you know it was fun it was a good time and then i just couldn't really i couldn a move.
We were all having a good time. And then we just were walking away.
And just the one closest to me, I was like, I want to come back to my hotel room. And she was like, yeah.
Perfect. That was it.
That's so good. I had a nice night with all of them.
Because I'm a master. That's the hard dick warriors.
I'm your student. You're right.
You know what? You just convinced me. I love this.
We're going to get you so much So much pussy But can I say this Yeah You're the master Okay And can I be Your number one student Absolutely So basically Absolutely When you have a class And people walk in the dojo I'm like next to you Yeah And also I wanna like Okay here's your Your need for validation Is gonna get in the way You're getting pussy What Your need for validation Is gonna get in the way You're getting pussy But just for this one thing thing. No, can't do it.
Yeah, give me a different belt too. No, you don't get a different belt.
No, I don't wanna be white. I see why you don't fuck now.
I can see it right now. I'm not asking for black.
Give me a brown belt. With a stripe.
If I was a woman... Give me a stripe.
Here's what had just happened. I was the woman that was about to fuck you and now I'm out.
You know? All these other requests. Okay, let me get that out.
I'll just attend your class. Exactly.
I don't care what position I'm in. Look at that.
Also. Can I tell the other guys? I know him.
No. Bobby.
What? I know him. I know him.
You can't, but it's a risk. If he gets back to me, you're fucked.
All right? All right. How about this? You're a nice man, right? Yeah.
Don't tell him. But I know him.
Don't ever tell him, though. He'll fuck me.
Stavros? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The hard dick warrior.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know this guy?

Oh, yeah.

Okay, hold on.

Excuse me, Mr. Stavros.

This guy says he knows you.

Bobby.

Zip.

And now you got to do something for me.

Oh, no.

You got to suck him, dude.

You know what, dude?

If he was the master, I would suck him.

You got to.

I would suck him for the fight.

I thought you just said I was the master. You are the master.
And you know what? Guess what? That's the hard dick warrior's way. Well, let me ask you.
I'm a kid. I'm not me, right? I'm a kid.
You're the master, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like.
Don't say kid. What do you mean? You're just a man, maybe.
I'm 18. Okay.
How about 30? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's my character.
All right, go ahead. Okay, be you.
My name is Clippy. Hey, Clippy.
You're the Microsoft Cl Clippy thing I'm Clippy Johansson Hey Clippy My name's Clippy Johansson I know you've been in my class for months now I love it thank you so much Anyway Women you know I've applied your rules to women's situations, you know, and it doesn't take. You know, they don't like me, and I just want to bash them over the head.
No, no. Clippy.
Clippy. Come on.
Jesus. Too much.
Clippy, yeah. Yeah, but what I'm saying is some of these incels, right, you will have them in your class.
Sure. And they'll resort to violence.
What are you saying? Well, we- You kick them out? Hopefully, they don't get to violence, right Right? Right And here's the thing about the Hard Dick Warriors way Getting pussy is a small amount of it Oh It really is You're blowing my mind It really is Is there money you can You can teach us how to make money too? With three easy payments of $49.99 I can tell you the rest Wow Wow DraftKings Sportsbook Hey the NFL playoff picture is locked And my go-to place for wild card round action Is DraftKings Sportsbook. Hey, the NFL playoff picture is locked, and my go-to place for wild card round action is DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL.
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See show notes for tails. ButcherBox.
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Use the code Bad Friends to claim this offer. But truly, it's like if you feel depressed and you feel like a fucking piece of shit, you're not going to, you're not, you're putting out bad vibes.
It's all a vibes-based philosophy, right? So you got to take care of your own shit. And once you start progressing on anything, Clippy, right? Whatever Clippy's up to.
What's up, man? Okay? What are you trying to work on, Clippy? Hey, man, I'm just... You know what, master? I'm trying to improve my vibe.
Okay. And that's why I'm doing this right here with my fingers, dude.
Get rid of that. Oh, how about the caneload? You don't need hands up.
Yeah, yeah. I love rock.
We all do. How about okie dokie? Hands down totally.
Okie Doki. That's the KKK.
Oh, that's KKK? Oh, shit. My bad.
Yeah, so I'm just trying to work on my vibes. Your vibes.
Okay, but do you have, I don't know. Do you read a book? Okay, here's the book.
I read your book. Or my book? Audiobook.
I didn't actually read it, no. Oh, okay.
But I love your voice, that's why. Good job on narrating it.
Thank you, Clippy. Clippy, are you trying to fuck the hard dick? No, no, no, no.
I The hard dick No no no I'm not gay man I'm not gay man No no no it's cool Are you it's alright if you are Yeah no I'm Clippy Actually it's way easy If you are that would help us out a lot Because getting cock Is so much easier You know what On a deserted island I would fuck you Can you imagine a book A book about getting cock The first page would just say, go out. Try.
That's it. Leave the house.
How do I improve my vibe, master? Well, Clippy, and this is very psychologically healthy that you have to keep doing characters to ask me questions. You clearly are just wondering.
Is there something you want to work on? Do you want to go to the gym? Do you want to read a book? Do you want to become a cinephile? You know what I mean? Are there movies you want to check out? The more you start feeling like you're improving in your life, the more confidence that'll give you. Oh.
And that will improve your vibe and sometimes give you something to talk about. Clip.
That's interesting. You got some good stuff there, Clip.
Thank you so much, Master. No interesting that's how that's how those that's how those big church people work though it's brilliant like that guy did you see this clip that went around the internet about one of the evangelical guys that he was talking about how expensive his watch was he was like dude it's so funny to their face he, this watch, this watch is more than my first house.
And they're cheering. They're like, yeah! The prosperity gospel.
He goes, this is $89,000. These guys drive me fucking crazy.
I know, it's insane. I mean, I respect it.
It's such an incredible racket. By the way, they bought into it.
I think it's that guy, Kenneth Copeland. Maybe that's the guy.
But it's like, I don't feel bad for those fucking people. They bought into the system.
They're paying to be there. He's being blatant about it.
He's just like, listen, I'm stealing money from you. And they're like, yeah, fucking Jesus Christ.
This could be you someday. You know what I do want to do with you, though, while they're Googling this? Yeah.
Is that guy that, you know, that guy that takes, he's like an exorcorcist So he goes to like, you know, you see that he goes to the Midwest

It's on YouTube and they fucking oh here it is. Look at this walking demonic voice.
Okay, watch this

Yeah, I'm here's a state say I don't want to say I'm gonna get all kind of crazy let people fight

You'll have jewelry cost more in your house

So they're fucking they're clapping

I'm telling you my first house me. I'm telling you.

My first house cost $14,700.

I'm giving you a chance to write your check out.

$14,700.

My second house cost $81,900.

And this watch cost more than that.

God, he's awesome.

He's the best.

Are you going to write me a nugget?

These are great.

Let me tell you what, no, no.

I can really give you some.

These are powerful vibes, honestly. They're not good, but they're powerful.
That's insane. Bro, to laugh at it, to be like, this is more than all of you making six years.
It's the best. And the laugh, and then the congregation's like.
It's the best. That to me, I don't blame them at all.
I don't blame him at all. If you're buying into that, you're a fucking fool.
I mean, that's America shit, dude. I don't mean to get all fucking college.
Give it to me. Give it to me.
Give it to me, man. But that is the thing.
It's like, you know, every poor motherfucker thinks they're going to be a billionaire. Right.
So you never want to hold them accountable because you're like, well, when I'm ultra rich, I'll do that. I want to do that.
Well, that's like that, what's the guy's, Gary V. It's like, there's a, what's the other guy's name that does that a lot? Grant Cardone.
There's like a group of guys online that are like, if you're not fucking hustling, if you're not making fucking six million a year, you're a fucking worthless piece of shit. You're a fucking fat loser, dipshit, and your wife is ugly and your kids are fucking dumb fucks.
Make six mil or kill yourself, dog. Gary Vee, it was his dad's liquor store that he took over.
Is that his thing? Yeah, but that's the thing. He tells people, I worked at a liquor store.
And it's like, no. You owned it.
You owned the liquor store. That is the big difference.
I can't not make fun of this guy because he's like, no, I mean, here's the deal. It's like fucking, you got to fucking sell your shoes.
He was big on NFTs too, which. Which turned out to be a real fucking fart.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a real fucking scam.
Dude, that was that. I walked with a buddy of mine the other day.
I was taking a walk, having coffee with a friend and he stopped me and he goes, dude, I can't be happier than realizing how good it is to be behind the times when it comes to NFTs. Because he was like, he didn't buy into crypto NFTs.
And he was like, man, am I a dummy? I'm behind the times. He's like, I've never been happier to be behind the times type of guy who didn't get fucked.
Like people that bought like 50 grand worth of bored ape shit. And now it's worth like six bucks.
Dumb ass. Fucking.
That sucks. And Justin Bieber and all those guys are getting sued.ber and all those guys are getting sued yeah yeah ftx because they they paid them right to to fucking basically promote it it's basically shorting a stock it's like inflating inflating inflating to be like fuck you take all the money and then they leave paris hilton says it's good yeah yeah so i think it must be fucking good you remember that that video of jimmy found and paris hilton apes? No.
On The Tonight Show. No.
Yeah, for real. And it was the most awkward.
They clearly didn't believe it. Right.
They did it on The Tonight Show. It was fucking crazy, dude.
But yeah, I mean, it's all such fucking dog shit. And the only reason it happens is because life in America is such dog shit that you're like, well, maybe.
Everybody wants to hit the lotto.

Because it's all or nothing here.

There's no good quality of life anymore.

Right.

No middle class.

You've got to change the culture then, guys.

I agree.

You know what, though?

I agree, Clippy.

Capitalism cannot be the main thing.

No, shut the fuck up.

No, you're right.

You're right.

Capitalism isn't the thing.

It's the fact that people are being sold so many lies.

That's the problem. Religion used to be capitalism, right? It's the thing that controls the fucking it's the fact that people are being sold so many lies that's the problem it is religion used to be capitalism right it's the thing that controls the masses right dumb people stop it what i mean really ignorant people religion okay right and now they use capitalism to do it and to enslave us all and we just got to figure out how to just you know i agree with you become free? Don't do the gadgets.
Don't buy the stuff. You do all of it.
You're smoking a vape. I bought $700 worth of fucking shoes today.
Yeah, you're smoking a vape with an iPhone. I'm a slave.
I'm telling you I'm a slave. I don't want to be a slave anymore.
We are fucked. You're not a slave.
Yeah, I am. No, you're not.
Yeah, because it's like, there's somebody. You're free.
He's in a nice cage, though. I was playing Tetris and watching Deep Space Nine on Star Trek, right, the Right I was doing something else I was listening to music Can you imagine How offensive it is To slaves to say That you're a slave While you huff a vape And play video games For nine hours a day You sleep till 4pm I'm saying I want to wake up Wake up Yeah and I want to Be a zombie anymore I text you at 2pm Wake up You're not in the Matrix And I want to wake up, though.
I still do. Do.
Lies. I do.
Okay, you know what? Yeah. Then you talk that talk.
Yeah. Talk that shit.
We're going to go. I like being slaves.
It's good. It's easy.
No pain. No pain.
Yeah. No pain.
If I ask you to go for a hike in the morning, you'll never. It's so ridiculous when you say stuff like that.
It's fair. It's not.
I've been on the Peloton so many times. When? How many? This week.
Every day. I can't sleep without it.
How many hours a day? I do 45 minutes. What do you mean you can't sleep without it? I need to exercise during the day or I don't feel tired at night to go to sleep.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
I took myself out. Yeah, yeah.
We're going to go hiking this weekend. I'd love to.
No, no, no. My pleasure.
Okay. Where do we want to go? What hill? We're doing the hard one.
Me, you and Maren are going to go do the hard one. I'm not doing the Maren one.
Yes, you are. I'm not doing the Mark Mark Mark.
Yes, you are. No, no, no.
There's a white one. Huh? There's an Asian one.
There's a Korean hill. There's a Korean hill over there.
Yeah, over there. They got Korean bitches out there? In Koreatown.
In Koreatown, you can just go from driving range to driving range to Korean barbecue place. No, it's like Wilshire to Olympic to, you know what I mean? It's like if there's a street.
You go from Chosun Gobi. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, you never invite me to go hiking. Can I get some fucking help? Do not help.
Because let me say something right now, all right? You guys work for me too. Right? This is not the way to go about it.
I'm trying to fix your lives. We work together, right? So don't fucking, he's not the boss of you.
You can't start talking about how bad capitalism is. So don't even chime in.
And then you're like, I'm your boss. Yeah, that's what he does.
Bobby has changed. There we go.
He's a morning person now. What? He's a morning person now.
Oh,'m a morning person now That's what he said What time are you waking up? I woke up today Noon Noon, yeah No, today I That isn't the morning The morning's over by noon No, I woke up at 9 in the morning To what? To piss? No I got to the bathroom And I tried to lay back down I couldn't get back to sleep So I didn That's because your body woke you up to go, hey, we're supposed to get up now. That's insane.
And you still were like, no, no, no, no. Yeah, I tried.
I went, no, no, no, but then you said, yes, yes, yes. And I got up.
And I'm a little tired. What's your schedule, Stop? It's all over the place right now because I'm traveling so fucking much.
But you're not a guy who I feel like you're not like a, you're not like a, oh, I slept in until fucking 2 p.m type no i can't anymore i mean i've been sober on this leg of the tour because the last one fucked me up so bad yeah so i try and get like today for example got up fucking fucking shredded my fucking buys and tries worked out in the fuck at the hotel gym uh fuck and then i got a little smoothie uh a little smoothie and then I've just been Doing fucking pods And shit all day What's your Okay what's your Bad boy meal On the road That you know You're not supposed to have But you do have it And you're like I don't give a fuck I gotta have it It's my bad boy meal My bad boy meal What's your little Naughty boy meal I love I mean Honestly this This trip I have fallen off The wagon Because the end Is in sight. Next week, I launched this podcast.
I did Rogan last week. I'm here to do a bunch of other LA shows.
Then I go straight to Vermont to do six shows. Then I have to do four fucking episodes of my podcast.
Then I'm off for four weeks. It's a busy thing.
a busy thing so i did relapse i because i was just so overworked and last night i hit the the classic like just make a fucked up dessert out of whatever's in the in the hotel mini like front you know what i mean in the front zone where they have a little peanut m&m i did a little peanut m&m's rice crispy treat treat I personally created Double M&M and then I put a little ball Of Rice Krispie around it How did they not sell that? I was in there doing Fatboy Confectionary When you're eating Fatboy Confectionary I was walking around the neighborhood after hitting a Shake Shack, by the way.

Good boy.

God bless.

So I did have a single, though.

When you eat in bed like that, you're in the bed, yes?

I was on the couch.

Okay, so can I say this?

Yeah.

Honestly, I think what thwarts real bad boy, fat boy stuff is being out of the bed.

Gotta be out of the bed.

If you can do it on the couch or in the chair, in the computer chair...

It does something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It changes how much more you're going to eat. Oh, yeah.
Because when i would be on the road at the beginning and i gained like 12 pounds last what last year on the road is because i would eat in bed yeah it's in the bed you're like it's okay yeah it's okay yeah what's this comfort zone well once you've crossed that rubicon you're fucked you're fucked you're fucked and until this week i did have like i was strict about my road schedule. I'd wake up early, work out or go on a walk, write.
I would actually prepare. And then I would fucking take a nap, look over my notes again, and do that.
But the last couple weeks, I'm so... But the end is near for you.
The end is near. It's fine.
You paid your dues. And then we're getting another fucking big ass tour.
Fat Rascal tour, folks. Go watch the Fat Rascal.
We're in theaters, baby. We're selling tickets out there.
We're going to. The Bad Friends tour is about to be announced.
We're inches away. In fact, we already have a couple of dates that we're going to do.
We're doing Just for Laughs in Vancouver. Are you coming? March and April.
No, he's not. Carlos is coming.
Who's our guy? We'll send Carlos. Can we say why you're not coming? Yeah, we said it already.
We did, right? Why? Yeah. This motherfucker's about to be a papa.
Hey, congratulations, my honor. Thanks be a papa.
Mazel tov. Well, I'll come a couple days.
It's going to be legal. Hey, Stavros.
Yes. Stavros.
Yeah. What podcast did you do earlier today? I was actually on my friend Hassan's stream.
Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Who else this week? What have you done? My Rogan came out today.
I did Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan.
I did Fred Rogan. Oh, I love that guy.
Yeah, he's an Eclairs podcast. My question is, is this your favorite one so far? I'm having a blast on this one, yes.
No other one.

You've not had fun, as much fun as this one.

No, this is so much fun.

We come in here.

Well, because this is-

We get you pussy.

We figure out how-

I learned so much from you.

He brings us cookies.

We get you pussy.

Honestly, I want you to fuck.

So deep in my soul.

Truly.

Why did you roll your eyes?

I've done it so many times. Yeah, but what he's talking about- I No here's the thing I am dude It's so fucking funny That you say that Because Every girl Looks at me and goes That's surprisingly good I didn't say one word Yeah Like Like Carl Lewis Carl Lewis level Carl Lewis The sprinter? Yeah Athleticism You know You could could have said somebody from the last 20 years.
I don't know anybody. Usain Bolt is like the fastest man on earth.
I don't like him. Michael Richards.
The swimmer. You do a Michael Richards bit right after you come? Anyway, I'm very good.
No, no, but I'm sensing something in you. What is it? I don't know.
I don't like it. But I'm right.
Go ahead. You know what you don't like? How accurate I've been so far this whole time.
Be honest. I don't even know you personally.
We just met. This is the first time, for the viewers and listeners, the first time we ever even talked.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And already we have this like.
We have a bond. It's a bond, but it's also a clash.
It's not a clash. Oh, you're a bond? Listen, once.
I think this is how you are, right? Once you thrash around a little bit, you'll realize how close we are. Yeah.
Okay? Let me figure that out. You know what he's doing? You know what he's doing? What's that? You know what they say when somebody's like falling off of a raft or something, and they thrash in the water but if they realize if they sit still they won't drown.

Right.

It's this that causes the drowning.

Or my feet can actually

touch the ground.

Yours, no.

Oh, that's right.

No chance.

That's right, never has.

No.

So I'm splashing around, right?

Oh, I'm not drowning.

But listen,

just stop splashing.

All right.

Relax.

Can I do the splashing first

though real quick?

Yeah, go ahead, go ahead.

Close your eyes. Close your eyes.
Close your eyes. They aren't closed.
That's racist. They aren't closed.
That's the lighting. That's the lighting.
All right. Close your eyes.
Okay. Relax.
They're closed. Good bit.
It's a good bit. It's a good bit.
Old school bit. Donnie, you wrote that one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now listen.
All right. Listen.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're the lifeguard.
You're the lifeguard. Sir.
Sir. Sir.
Sir. Stop.
Listen to the hard dick warrior. All I'm saying is, Bob, there is something in you, right? Keep your eyes not dictating the amount you want to fuck.
Now, the amount you want to fuck could be could be small. You might not want to fuck that much, but I don't think you're deciding.
I think you're a prisoner to some outside forces that I can't... Look at him.
Wow. You're backstroking.
You thought you were dying, now you're butterflying through the ocean. Water in my mouth.
Can you believe how good you're doing? You're doing so good. I'm doing great.
You're doing so good. All it took was words of affirmation.
Thank you, Stavros. In my head.
That's great. It's amazing.
You're right. You know, we do have a bond that will never be broken.
It will never be broken. Never, ever.
Ever again. For the rest of the time.
I love it. Now, after this, can I get your number? Yeah.
You can, actually. That's a real test.
This is how it works. You honestly can.
And will you pick up if he calls you? I will. I will.
Yeah. This dude's a loyal motherfucker.
Yeah. You know what, dude? Let me say something, bud.
Please. All right.
And this has only happened a couple times in my life. Sure.
Maybe 10 times. But I've met a lot of people.
I've met thousands of people. Instantly cheapens whatever you've met.
I know, but it's like if you know how many people I've met, Riffle did it. Weird bragging.
Millions. Millions.
Only 10 times, right? Where I went instantly and went, you know what? This guy is somebody I'm going to know for the rest of my life. That's what I like to hear.
Yeah, yeah. We'll be there.
Yeah, it's pretty good. He's got it like that.
I'll be there, dude. I love hairy thumbs.
I don't have hairy thumbs. No, but your body is like a hairy thumb.
It's just like one thing, you know what I mean? With hair, it's great. He's just sexy.
You know, like the thing like that? What's that? The cousin? Cousin it. Cousin it.
You've shaved him down a little bit. Cousin they.
Oh, my bad. Can I show you? I've always, I've been in love with Stav for a long time, and we've just gotten to know each other in the recent years, but I will say this.
When I saw this, look up Stavros toothless. This is where I learned to fall in love with this guy.
I'm dead serious. Go images.
I saw him on the internet post a clip like this. Oh, yeah, there it is.
Balled with his tooth out. Yeah, I had no tooth for two years.
And I was like, dude, I love this guy. That's a good look, dude.
That was a power look. Tell him what happened.
I had something called tooth resorption, and the final thing that took my tooth was I cracked it on a chicken wing. Pretty like...
Wing or... The bone.
Was it a wing or drumstick? I believe flat. Flatty.
We are winging, yeah. I believe so because I ate the rest of it by peeling off the wing and like throwing it into the back of my mouth and gingerly chewing.
Like, I was in excruciating pain, but I was only like three wings out of a ten wing order in. So I finished those.
Yeah, you're not going to stop. When you lose a tooth like that, do you get upset? Like, oh my God, I'm a comic.
I'm on TV. I mean, does that bum you out? I don't know.
You put a bit up on TV with it. That's what I'm saying.
No, I thought it was awesome. I was actually stoked to do it, to have a bit on with no tooth.
I was actually pissed. I was supposed to film my half hour in May 2020, and I was going to fix my tooth right after it.
And I was like, that'll be awesome. My half hour, I'll be toothless.
And then the pandemic happened. And then you guys fucked it all up.
But otherwise, it was good. Before that, it was good.
Explain, I don't know. Oh, come on.
Just for the listeners. You guys know what you did.
If you're not watching on listeners from Wuhan, then want to hear what the thing is. Can you imagine Wuhan is tuned in? We didn't do that.
All right. Do you remember the videos from Wuhan because they all followed directions in a year and they're having music festivals and shit? Yeah, dude.
And we were like, what the fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like half of the world was like, dude, all you got to do is chill for one minute and then you'll be all good.
And we like fuck that shit yeah we prohibitioned that shit we kept it moving fuck it dude sneak it under the floorboards that's true this is when i this is when i was like oh man i knew exactly who you were in terms of like how if there's something about comics some comics and you embody this for real you are extremely funny stand-up comic i am kissing your ass. Thank you, brother.
But also because I think not taking yourself that serious is important. So if you can kind of fucking if you can get to a level where you let yourself kind of not give a shit like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're in a great the great you're in the free world.
The great the great the worst thing that will ever happen to me is that i was never toothless with a bald ponytail that's that sucks that sucks that really sucks yeah i'm never gonna get toothless again i mean it was nice i had a nice run but yeah one of my dad's buddies growing up he was bald with a ponytail bald with a ponytail is clutch power move it's an instant it kind of guy. Power move.
It's a power move.

But by the way, you do have to, then everything else, your clothing, the car you drive, you have to be that guy.

You kind of have to be.

Look at that guy.

No, no.

Should I do that?

Dude, I would fucking love it if you did that shit.

I've always wanted to do that.

Go down one and over to the left two.

Up.

Up.

That.

Left.

Left.

That guy in a business suit.

This guy.

Business suit.

Bald pony. Big dick.
So awesome. Big dick? Huge.
Oh, huge dick. Big dick is different.
This guy is such a fucking huge dick. It's almost like rude.
Yeah, absolutely. Where women are like, come on, Michael.
It's absurd. I got to stretch before we fuck every time.
Yeah. I got to fucking.
We can't just have a casual fuck. This guy's like, no way, baby.
His pubic hair probably has beads and stuff. You know how, like, the rest of the fire people have beads in there.
He probably has beads and stuff. Like, he doesn't give a fuck, this guy.
Like that, okay. Okay, go straight down the white shirt.
Do you see the guy? Down, down, down one, over to the right three. Yeah.
Okay, so this guy. I've been behind this guy at a concert.
Yeah. And I swear to God, and everybody at home knows, he is with the hottest non-white chick.
It's always a hot non-white chick. But also age appropriate.
Yes. Age appropriate.
The hottest woman his age is possible. Also taller like a Nigerian woman.
This guy is 64 she's 50 and fucking a smoke show. She's thin big tits she's wearing heels on the grass she's sinking.
I would even say she's a little older She might be She's younger than by She's like 58 Right, right, right Is it because he has money Or is it because he fucks good? Vibes Vibes Vibes You listen to the warrior Listen to the fucking warrior Vibes over everything You're not even listening, Bob You know what, dude? Can I say something? I'll be real For the first time For. For the first time, I was born with vibes.
Exactly. Why are you blocking your own vibes? I'll tell you what.
You're standing in the way of your own vibes. That's right.
I walked around places just wandering around. You know how I like to wander? Yeah.
I'm a walker, dude. I like to frolic as well.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I frolic and I wander, but you know what I mean? But I don't like exercising that much, so more wandering Okay. But I've been in like malls and people walk up to me and go, hey, you want to be in my

movie?

Stuff like that.

You have that ability.

I have that ability.

Yeah.

And it's sleep in my eye.

You know what I mean?

I'm doing a little, you know what I mean?

A little, you know.

A little jig.

Exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uncork it.

You're bottling it up.

Oh, I am.

You are.

I see.

With these little fucking notes.

Can I tell you something?

What?

What he just said.

What?

If you put out an album or a special in the next couple years Yeah It's gotta be called Uncorked Yeah yeah Uncorked Uncorked is really good Uncorked is so good Yeah yeah Cause he's telling you Take it out Let it fly That's my favorite sound by the way That's my favorite Not the Not the What do you mean? No no no It's part of it Let's do it again Love it both Love it both It's one sound One sound Yeah I love it I was No, no, no. It's part of it.
Let's do it again. Love it both.
Love it both. It's one sound.
One sound. Yeah, I love it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some of the best.
That's the asshole, right? Yeah. I told you this.
Oh, I told you this off air. He wasn't here for this, but I had a friend who told me that they were offered a bunch of money, a ton of money, to let a guy fuck him.
I'm sorry, to fuck a guy, to peg a guy in the ass for a clip load of money. And she's contemplating whether or not she should do it.
No physical touch. No, nothing like that.
If your girlfriend or wife said, hey, this guy is going to pay me. Me, it's me.
Hey, you. What's your girlfriend? Your girlfriend doesn't have a girlfriend.
He's single right now. Yeah, let's just say you have a girlfriend, Cynthia, right? That's a beautiful name.
Stavros, check it out. Oh, we love her, by the way.
I love Cynthia. I love Cynthia.
I love Cynthia, you know what I mean? Can your girlfriend put on a strap-on, right? She can be fully clothed, right? Okay. No touching, no kissing.
She doesn't have to touch. No hello.
Right. Don't even acknowledge my presence.
Right, come in and just. She'll walk into the room.
I'll be bent over. You're on all fours.
You got a mask like Zorro on. I'll be pre-lube too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do my own lube concoction at home.
I use coconut cream. Oh, wow.
Cream. My own spit? My own spit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why it's cream.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just oil.
I stir it up, right? And I stick it right in there, right? Okay. there right and i've been over no hello she's just gotta peg me for like a half an hour half hour yeah 25 grand cash wow um this is your girlfriend or your wife personally absolutely i don't give you you would say she'd go you'd go babe is that chill if i do that it's for 25k yeah but what if now here's the The fact that you actually makes it weird, because if you come up to me, you're like, hey, I cannot stop thinking about your wife fucking me in the ass.
Right? Now, if we're strangers, without question, I don't give a fuck. But if my friend who sees my wife, that's a little...
But let's say my wife is just like, she has gotten this email from someone. Like, hey, offer, fuck my ass.
You can wear a beekeeper's outfit for all I care. Bring bees.
What about this? She's fucking me, right? Yeah. I'm staring at your headshot.
Would that make it weirder? This guy's headshot is amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This guy's headshot is so good, though.

It's a little funny.

Would that be weird for you or no?

No.

Listen, Twain.

Well, again, do we know each other personally?

Yeah, I'm Bobby Lee.

Do we know each other personally?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, I don't like that.

Oh, you don't like that.

Oh, okay, okay.

But if just some guy wants to look at a picture of me.

Like the first one.

The very first one.

That one, for sure.

That's a good one.

I have that, and your wife is.

Okay, I get it.

But not you, because I don't want. That would, you know the bond we forged over this podcast?

Oh, of course, you're my sensei.

You're right.

You know what I mean?

It's just disrespectful to you.

All right, stop, let me, stop.

But a stranger and there's no kissing, no nothing?

Yeah, nothing.

Absolutely.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Okay, let me say this.

Absolutely.

Stop, I need to get your take on this.

As a single man, I know on the road you've been offered threesomes.

I know it.

I know couples have been like, oh. Not couples, no.
You know what i mean i mean like uh friends have been like how do you what's your line of with cuckery if a guy says listen bro i need you to pump my wife right i please come back i'm not gonna touch i'm not gonna do anything but i'm in the room i don't need him and i can't but he goes i have to be in Closest I'll come to is other room closed circuit television. But I can't do.
I wear one of those eyes wide shut masks. I can't do.
What about masks? Like a Phantom of the Opera. How'd they do it? I don't want another.
Christine. I don't want half your face.
And the moment you come, he goes. That mask.
That makes it worse. Just in the corner.
That makes it so much worse. So you're on the road, and it's, so no cuckery for you.
I just, I'll fuck another guy's wife, for sure. Yeah, but he can't be there.
I don't want him there. But what is it, though? I don't need another masculine presence.
No, no, he's not. He's beta, beta, beta, baby.
There's still, it's still another guy. Okay.
Now listen, her wife Her wife Is it two lesbians?

Her butch wife can stay

If she's like

Even if she's

We're talking

Drew Carey style

You know what I mean?

Right

Yeah yeah yeah

We're talking off the sitcom

Not even Price

Not Price is right Drew

No no no

We're talking

Bowler shirt

Thick glasses

She could be that type of

That's

I think I could handle that

You'd be down

But I just can't have another guy in there

For that situation

Could you not do that?

How about this?

No no no Could you do cuckery? If you're on If we're on the road In the Bad Friends Tour You and I We're on the road You okay Not me I can't Who are you? I'm taken I'm saying What's your name? Andrew Santino I know but in this scenario this scenario, we are on the road. It's Andrew Santino.

Okay, we're on the road.

You're Bobby Lee.

Fuck.

You see what I got?

We're on the road.

Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee.

And a couple comes up to us.

Okay, okay, okay.

And goes, we love you guys.

It's so fun.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you want to go for like a drink or a meal with us?

And we say, you know, we're not drinking, but maybe we'll go get dinner.

We go get dinner with this couple. Yeah.
Because they're both very good. I already know the answer.
they're very good looking I already know the answer and the guy says Santino no disrespect I can't you know you're taking and I went Bobby I want you to fuck my wife and I want to watch okay what do you say I say this if you laugh it. You can't laugh.
You know he's gonna. Because I'm funny.
You don't want to be thinking like that when you're fucking. It's not that you're.
It doesn't matter what. It's not that you would say something funny.
It's that. No, no.
Bro, bro, bro. Be fair.
Be fair. Check this out.
You take your clothes off.'s immediately gonna go That's how I'm doing A serious movie Oh that's really disrespectful I'm doing a serious movie You're getting cucked By cucking He's cucking you Why Why He's laughing He's like This guy can't even fuck my wife I'm gonna do a serious movie If I turn around in any movie Like Like serious It's gonna get a laugh Damn, dude. Holy shit.
Even when I'm real. Let's see.
Do it again. Yes.
I don't know, man. That's still going to get a laugh.
A little bit. How about this, though? This is supreme cucking.
Yeah. If the guy has him in the room and every move he does, he's like, boom.
Yeah, yeah. That is a huge power move.
That's a power move. You've got your cock in a guy's wife, and he's laughing at you.
There's no lower low. No.
So you're not going to cock on the tour. You call that a stroke, pal? He's like fucking like, keep it in.
Use your hips, dude. You're going to fucking stretch your headstrings out.
He's got a foam roller. He's loosening up your quads.
I told you. I was in the belly room and one of the guys that works at the comedy store

was with an older porn star.

She was hot.

Nice.

Yeah.

And he kept going,

she wants to blow you, man.

And I go,

that I could probably do.

I'd probably get my dick sucked.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I just was in the belly room,

Green Road.

They came up there.

I was there talking

to another comic.

Yeah.

And then this comic left

and I was alone with

this guy that works there.

Yeah.

And this girl

and then she gets on her hands and knees and she gets on her knees like this. That's her knees.
Right? Just knees, like you said it before. What do you mean? You said she got on her knees and then you did it.
Why would you even mention that? You barely changed heights. That's my point.
You haven't been sitting on your knees this whole time You've been doing this show Bobby got taller He went on his knees Somehow he's She's like She's on her So she's on her knees Alright man Enough dude Alright go ahead Right She got on her knees Like this And then she went She opened her mouth What Right like this Amazing And I just of the room. No.
Yeah, because I didn't want him to watch. Okay, right.
That's fair. You don't want that.
Yeah, I didn't want him to watch. I told you.
And I'm not going to do it anyway. Although, is that her? I mean, yeah, I don't want a guy there, but I might, in that situation, I might just pop my soft dick in, just to say I did.
Because I've never in my life have I popped my soft dick. Put the dough in the oven.
Little shrimp cocktail. It might not grow, but put the Little shrimp cocktail Yeah yeah yeah That would be really funny To just That's another alpha So beta it's an alpha move Soft dick shit Put your soft dick in a woman's mouth And be like Nah And then leave I got a shit suit How long is this But let me say this I ate a bunch of shit You're invited anytime Anytime Oh absolutely I'd love to come back Let me say this Please Stavi's bunch of shit.
Killed it. You're invited anytime.
Anytime. Oh, absolutely.
I'd love to come back. Let me say this.

Please, Stavvy's got a new podcast out.

Yes.

Please go watch it.

Yeah, please do.

It's funny as fuck.

He is funny as fuck.

Plug it.

Stavvy's World.

It's called Stavvy's World.

It's on YouTube.

It's on everywhere you get podcasts.

Everywhere you get your damn podcasts.

Stavvy, look at that camera and go, thank you for being a bad friend.

Thank you for being a bad friend.

Phenomenal. Thank you.
Get a bad friend. Phenomenal.

Thank you.

Get this guy a key to take a shit.

Yeah.

Woo.

Yeah.

Woo.

Yeah.

Woo.