Another Break Up!? ft. Will Sasso & Chad Kultgen

My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man.
Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friend's still laughing me to this day.
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LinkedIn, the place to be to be. Hey, who got new merch, Bob? We did.
These are my favorite shirts that we've ever sold. So here's the deal.
We picked a bunch of new different merch. This is Bob's favorite design, which I love.
I've got a beautiful design on here. It's, of course,

us as unicorns

hugging in the sea. Those are

mermaids, dude. Huh?

I'm a unicorn, bud. I'm a manicorn.

Okay, I didn't know. And Fancy also

has one of me and Bobby close

talking, just whispering to each

other, real, real close. Carlos is obviously wearing

the same one that I am. We also have other shirts.
What do

we got? We have a bag?

We got this in white a close talking Christian close talking this is a bag so if you want to be eco-friendly huh you know what I mean you can bring your own bag this is made out of us something good and this is the same design that Bob has on in a hoodie there's a hoodie yeah check it out so it's like a Stardew Valleyardew Valley shirt. Bad Friends shirt.
Bobby's favorite. A Stardew Valley Bad Friends shirt available now as well.
So go get it in the link below, you guys. Click on the link in the description below to go buy some of the Bad Friends merch.
Woo! You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting. A something We're bad friends Oh wow Are you rolling already? We're over, we already did I guess we're waiting for this dollar How are you, Will? Good to see you I'm sorry, how are you? Shake his fucking hand It was a fucking parking lot The goddamn five Is that what happened to you, Chad what would you what do you like i live in west hollywood it's about a 45 minute drive you know what i do is never leave uh 15 minutes or less for anything that i have to be that's insane chad was fucking candidly before the show about how often that you're late yeah it's true and he had some choice words yeah and i won't say them on the show.
It also hurts people. It hurts people's feelings.
It's true. I know.
It does. It's like spitting in somebody's face, I think.
Yeah. It used to hurt my feelings.
I don't know if I can do that far. I'm used to it.
We've been in this relationship for so long. It's just part of it now.
Well, I don't know if I can do that far. You want to welcome our guests onto the show and introduce them to the fans? I'm lost.
One of those freewheeling shows, it's just like, hey, man, it's just raw.

You know what I mean?

It's whatever happens.

You know what?

I don't know what kind of game you're playing right now, but yes.

Yes.

It's a freewheeler.

Hey, it's really good to be here.

Will Sasso and Chad Coulton from the Dudesy Podcast.

At Dudesy Pod Show on all your socials.

Of course, check us out on YouTube, Spotify, Apple iTunes, Spotify,

wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, I'm sitting across from a couple of really good friends here in the podcast world.

Yeah, I know. There's nothing funnier

than being meta and making fun of a thing

you do.

Hey, everybody.

What am I, a podcast guy?

You know what I started doing?

I like when we make fun of podcasts. It's the thing we do.
We're on a podcast to talk about. I'm sitting over here.
You're sitting over there. That color this wall, that color that wall.
Hey, logo looks like us. Kind of does and kind of does.
You put the chopper thing into the glass. Chris Rock.
Yep. That is good.
I thought it was Denzel at first. But that's definitely Chris Rock.
Let me hear it. Do another Chris Rock.
Why does it have to be a black... Put the drink and get sleepy.
Nancy Pelosi. Nancy Pelosi.
Is that Nancy Pelosi? Yeah, yeah. Listen, we have two people here.
One guy I've known since 2000. Probably 22 years.
something like that yeah man 23 years and the other guy I just met but I've been a far fan you guys have never met we've never met I don't think I went up to him I go have we met before and he goes no I know you like squirrels oh yeah yeah they like me is more accurate I think why do you think you have a magnet for squirrels I don't know one started coming around my place. She became like a pet.
She would come in every day. I'd photograph her compulsively.
And I kind of trained her to be like a little cat. She would sit on my couch.
I could pet her, watch TV with her. And then eventually she started having broods of children in this nest immediately outside my bedroom window.
And I'd wake up every morning, open the fucking windows, give her some nuts. She'd come out stretch her legs and leave me to like care for her newborn infants and I'd get all these weird pictures and videos basically yeah, I don't really want to ever have a pet, I'm not into death then don't watch Alone because this season of Alone, they're just eating squirrels, all of them, every fucking day and I can't watch this show because I love squirrels so much I will, thank you for that recommendation I will not watch that show yeah it's such a good show it's such a great show they put these renegade outdoorsy people in the middle of fucking nowhere almost nothing they document it themselves oh they give them film equipments it's always in like northern you're from where you're from Canada I'm from northern yeah northern canada right and it's they get 10 items yeah right um and it's whoever's the last man standing can you survive these people die no no they tap out they all okay no there's two ways no there's two ways medical they have to medically remove you so you tap out so every jesus christ every week they come by to see how you're doing and if they think you're gonna die they remove you they test your vitals and a lot of times they're like you're borderline about to die and people are like no i can do it and they're like you're you will die tonight in the middle of the night yeah and they fight them all the way because they win a million dollars if they go to the end yeah oh okay like there's one girl that had her whole foot was blue and black she literally You're going to lose your foot.
She was like, take it off. From what's it called? Frostbite.
Frostbite. I call it wet feet.
Wet feet. That's the medical term.
Yeah, the medical term is wet foot. Yeah, yeah, but.
I'll see you here. You got wet foot, boy.
Holy shit. They're eating so many cute things.
Birds. Season nine.
They're eating fucking otters. Oh.
Oh, they're so cute! You don't eat in a lot. Yeah, I don't know.
What does an otter even taste like? It tastes cute. It tastes so adorable.
It'd be a first-time taste sensation, and then you wouldn't feel so hot about it. Yeah, I can.
Take otters and squirrels up against a tree and eat it. Yeah, and they just kill...
So don don't watch if you love I won't I do love squirrels No, you kids no wife. No, okay.
Let me in a survival of situation Let's suppose because we believe that global warming's here and not I believe it. Yeah, I believe it We were believers of the global world.
That's right, right? Hey, since when are you so afraid of summer, Lib? Nicely, dude. You fuck.
I love it. But anyway, let's suppose.
Oh, summer's hot. Give it up.
Yeah, whatever. Yeah.
Just cut your shorts shorter. Yeah.
Oh, I like the duality between you two. Yeah, you know, it's a real kind of.
You do the other opposite thing. You're the right wing guy? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. That's what I adopted.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's sort of a new spin on the Stephen Colbert.
Can I ask you a question, your fuckface? Not as long as I talk this loud. I'm going to go for the day and everything.
You've got to ask permission and I take no. I'm bad friends, guess.
He's a bad guest. This is what it's like to do a podcast with him, by the way.
Every fucking time. Chad, focus on me.
See, the thing is, we're both white nationalistsists so we don't have a reality why did they say no I'm a son of liberty I'm trying to get into Patriot Front right now they just march and they hang out in Vans together I like that it's hot in the U-Haul we're fine Joe DeR the american legion hall on hollywood and just north on highland and then he said you too can be a member here all you have to be is the descendant of someone that fought and i was like no shit that's all it is he's like yeah they're called the sons of liberty and immediately i was like this is q sounds bad yeah this is q anon definitely you don't want anybody being able to Google Sons of Liberty in your name. I was in on it until he was like, no, just Sons of Liberty.
I was like, oh, no, no, the door closed. I was like, never mind.
Do you believe the Patriot Front did a march in the middle of downtown Boston like three weeks ago? What's the Patriot Front? They're like a KK white nationalist group. Okay, we're our own group, first of all.
We're our own thing. Yeah, it was two and a half weeks ago we were in Boston.
Yeah, and they were marching, and it's like, I'm just saying that. They're a white nationalist neo-fascist hate group.
And hate is such a strong word. We don't hate anything.
We're in a real box. We're patriots.
Yeah, and you guys have medical benefits. Don't you guys give out medical benefits? We have PPOs.
If I'm a black trans person, can I get in in your group you have to go through the process like everybody else which is why we take you out back and we flog you and we tell you we ask you if donald trump is your lord and savior yeah and you've just got to answer a few small questions and that's it hold down your pants and see what's going on and do the opposite of that we have a doctor in house oh we just go keep boston irish that's the patriot irish oh my god is that really that that was at the march yeah oh my god how sad but what i'm saying is that if they did that in la do you think that there'd be more chaos because no one nothing happened they were just people just let it happen i bet you this has happened in los angeles and we never heard about it do you know what i mean i think in hawthorne or something this went down and nobody knew. The night before the 2016 election I was at Hollywood and Highland seeing a movie with some friends.
We came out onto Hollywood Boulevard there and there was a convoy of pickup trucks full of pro-Trump supporters with banners. People dressed like the Statue of Liberty with their arm around people dressed like Donald Trump and shit and I was like what the fuck is this? This is in the heart of Los Angeles.
Wow. This is happening.
But Hollywood is kind of its own world. Totally.
It's a little Wild West, a little Mad Max. It's kind of like when someone goes, we go to New York, and if you went to Times Square, there's no New Yorkers there.
So Hollywood and Times Square are kind of like zoned areas. Locals aren't there, right? So, I mean, you have tourists on Hollywood Boulevard going, oh, well, I'm a light.
But that's not real, authentic LA. I mean, go to Crenshaw and Olympic...
What do you think is the most authentic LA? Watts. You think that's the most authentic? There's Watts and then Beverly Hills.
That's a good cross-section. So I would say the most authentic LA would be like East Los Angeles.
Me Hills. That's all.
That's a good cross section.

So I would say the most authentic LA would be like East Los Angeles.

Me too.

That's very LA as well.

Like Los Angeles.

Yeah.

Mexican,

Mexican.

Alhambra.

Alhambra is you guys though.

There's a lot of Asians out that way.

I hate when you say that.

What do you mean?

You guys.

What does that mean?

Well,

there's four different kinds of people in this room and you're,

you're one of the other group. There's four of us.
Right. Why are you making yourself out to be different? Yeah.
No, I didn't. How about this? He said you guys.
He said you guys. How about this? We both have very colorful hats.
There you go. There's two people.
We have fun hats. Okay, but now, let me ask you something.
Now what happens? Now I've been singled out for having a silly hat. I'm the only man in the silly hat club, and I'm comfortable.
It's fine with me. I'll put it back in.
Do whatever you want. That's what Andrew's trying to tell you.
That's all I'm trying to say. Can I go back to chat about the apartment? Thank you, Will.
Thank you, Will. Hey, it's a professional.
Please, please, please. No, no.
There's no grocery store. You're hungry.
It's been two weeks. you haven't eaten anything right no electricity it's chaos people are dying yep would you eat the squirrels then no man i i became vegan about four years ago after some health shit i don't think i could ever eat an animal again yeah he's really you really let him down a wrong path yeah that backfired yeah i'm sorry, dude.
It repulses me. I think you would when you're hungry.

I don't think so.

Oh, so you'll rather die?

Yeah, I think so.

What?

He's vegan.

He doesn't want to eat animals.

I would eat a human being.

At the end of the day, your instinct is to survive.

And I think you would, the hunger would affect your...

Maybe.

You might be right.

I think I would be more likely or more inclined to kill and eat a person than I would an animal.

I was just going to ask you that. Human over animal animal huh yeah what kind of person all the hombra people yeah well that's right i'd go to alhambra you're rich and see what i can find your lipids you're rich in fat i mean that would be you i'm saying you'd want someone not muscly yeah well hold on a second you can really boil down those sinews and tendons, and they're actually very tasty the way you make them.
Yeah, maybe. All right.
So it wouldn't matter how wiry you are. I'm just saying, you know, there's some guys, the Olympic athletes among you.
Yeah. I'm just saying you have an Olympic team.
Hey, can I ask you a question? You guys got an Olympic team? Who's you guys? USA? Yeah. The USA, we do have one.

All right.

USA, he says.

Oh, let me ask you this.

Another question then, Chad.

A lot of questions on this show.

All right, let me ask you another question, Chad.

Yeah.

You don't have to say it like that.

I will.

Okay.

Say whatever you want.

Yeah, because I'm being bullied.

Just follow-

I'm being bullied and I'm being cornered, and I'm going to fight back.

I'm going to set boundaries.

Who's bullying you?

You guys.

Who's you guys?

The whites!

The whites!

The whites!

The whites!

Alhambra guys?

Yeah.

So my point is, hey, what are you talking about?

I'm Italian.

Right?

Chad.

That's the new thing now.

I'm Irish.

If you had to eat two, would you eat Will first or me?

Well, I mean, obviously Will, yeah.

Me, yeah.

Because there's more meat.

Right. That's funny.
A single kill would yield a larger meal. Now, would you eat me or me? Well, I mean, obviously you will.
Because there's more meat. Right.
A single kill would yield a larger meal. Now, would you eat me or Bobby? I think I'd probably have to go with size, too.
You're bigger, right? Yeah, I'm bigger than me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank God. Okay, how about the two boys? I'd line everybody up in a row, and I'd just put a bullet in the biggest down the list.
So I'm the last person eating. Chad, would you eat a person who is a vegan but has a butt implant? I think, honestly, if it's so fucking apocalyptic that I'm having to choose between which person to kill and eat, maybe I just starved to death.
You know what I mean? I don't know. Oh, no.
You eat the fucking squirrels, Chad. I don't think I could do it.
I sincerely don't think I could. I can't wait to forget how to speak English or whatever language anyone speaks for that matter and just roam the earth.
Just pooing, smelling bad, eating people. Okay.
Is this a dream? This is a dream that you have. For now.
Tell me this. How do you think? Are you a man who wants to kill with his hands? It's the only way to do it.
You love hand. Hand.
What about you? Well, I believe in gun control. I don't really want to kill anyone in any capacity.
Dude, you have to. We're post-apocalyptic.
We told you. It's melting in London.
Then I'm going gun. I'm going with just a straight bullet to the skull.
I like it. As humane as possible.
Quick as possible. Gun, hands.
Well, the bullets are going to be hard to come by. They're going to stop making bullets.
That's why I've started stocking up. By the way, I did see you at Gun World before this.
That's right. I go to every fucking gun show.
I don't like killing people, but I'm prepared to. But I have to.
What would you do? What weapon would you use to kill? Same as Chad, but I wouldn't do it mercifully. Oh, fuck.
I'll shoot the foot first so they bleed out. Wait, that's more painful.
That's what I want. Oh, you want the pain? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Why would you want to inflict pain just to survive? Because I want them to just look at me for a while. Yeah, but also, don't you people eat the feet? You know, I always see them on a menu with you guys.
Rabble, rabble. Sorry, everybody.
I feel bullied again. Hey, I want to speak directly to your audience and say it's really good to be here on Bad Friends.
Come check out Dudesy. It's a podcast.
What? You already did it. Oh, okay.
Sorry. I don't know when we start.
This is the disadvantage of telling you when we're telling your guests when we start. On Dudesy, we have an AI telling us, begin the podcast now.
Talk about this now. Talk about that now.
So I know you and me, Bobby, we go way back in the world of comedy where I would improvise everything. That's not the new comedy.
The new comedy is listen to a computer and do

exactly what it says. Okay, let's do

this. You guys are our

AI. You guys are our

AI and then you guys

give us a topic.

What is that?

What are you punching over there? It's a computer. That's a computer.

It's the fucking...

Sometimes I don't know.

Can I do it? Yeah please oh my god is that a phone ringing on the computer? it's the a rotary phone oh sure enter you don't have to say it if you hit it I know I. I just went there.
Okay. This is a very like.

1980s war games movie. Yeah.

Movie version of how a computer would sound.

Bing.

January 6th commission.

Oh, my God.

Oh, let's get into it.

Let's get right into it.

Thank you, Carlos.

Yeah, yeah.

I want to do it for a different one.

Different topic.

Is your AI this good?

Go ahead.

Enter a new topic.

The new Jurassic Park movie that came out to rant on tuesday okay sure you see it i did not did you guys see is it the chris is chris pratt still doing it yeah good i didn't see it but i can say this movies are dead they are culturally completely irrelevant yes and even a movie that's big like even top gun let's say that was like the biggest movie of the last many whatevers right yeah came and went no one gives a shit you see two things come through your google news oh my god it's tom cruise's highest grossing movie ever don't care what's next what's on netflix movies are dead one guy who wrote movies 1.25 billion dollars currently writing one 1.25 billion dollars is kind of irrefutable people are watching it you're saying they're not retaining any of the joy from it it was like in and out of the joy it has no cultural significance no cultural relevance i i sincerely think the last culturally relevant movie or the last artistically relevant movie was the room tommy wiseau early 2000s after that once we became a movie going audience that knows the ins and outs of movies so well that we can look at a movie like that and be entertained by how in quotes bad it is how off the fucking normal beaten path it is nothing else matters after that and now because we have so much media on all these streaming platforms a movie has what a week or two to have any significance wow i mean this when i say this i agree i want to do psychedelics with you yeah i mean i swear to God yeah you and i can sit for hours and talk please and i can hear it the way you your cadence and your sureness i'm like i gotta do drugs do it i have to do it okay i'm literally i will relapse to do it with you guys as well hey hey i'm not sure yeah i will do this i'd me too i'm dead serious this is on i'd like to second Can't wait You know you're not part of their club Nobody invited you to that Andrew said if you want to sign up For the Irish 3% Or whatever this is The Sons of Sons of Liberty Keep Boston Irish The Sons of Liberty Keep Boston Irish Are you one of us Or are you not one of us Make the decision now boy No this Have you seen this Eat this entire boiled potato Dude I watched the first episode of this And that is what made me decide fuck it i've never done lsd i've done mushrooms a couple of times uh i've never done any like real hard drugs per se but i watched that and i was like i gotta do lsd acid is cool i i'm more inclined to doing mushrooms again i like i like mushrooms a lot more acid was a little a little, for me, was a little too intense.

I did it a few times and I was like,

this is fucking really heavy.

It felt digital.

Excuse me? May I ask you something?

Yeah, of course, sweetheart. But why would you need to do

psychedelics with him? The thing that he

said was you already absorbed

that information. Okay, before you came in the room, when you and I

got into a fight. What are you going to get

more out of being in a

psychedelic? Because psychedelics, I think, open another

fucking little chamber of the mind. But he just opened your mind.
No. Without psychedelics.
Bobby. Am I not right or right? No, no, no.
You all right? Thank you. I enjoyed his banter, and I thought, I bet you him and I would have really good, deep conversations on psychedelics.
We can have them now! Yeah, but Bobby, you know, look, you guys are both right. On one hand, Chad is psychedelics.
On the other hand, hey, man, that'd be a lot of fun. Now, let me tell you something.
I've done mushrooms one and a half times. One time I did it.
It wasn't so fun at all because I was outside, got lost in a park in Vancouver with my fiance. I was like, why the fuck did we do it this way? Ended up back at the thing and you got to be inside with someone you trust.
Sounds good. You guys don't know each other, but I know both of you, so I'd like to nominate that I'm there.
When are we doing some shroomies? Can't wait for my... See, this is great.
And you can... We'll tape it and you'll see it.
Yeah, you can watch it by yourself later. You know what it feels like? What does it feel like? Stop Asian Hate.
That's what it feels like. It six months ago This show is stopping Asian hate You're right Yeah yeah yeah No No we've stopped it Because of this show You're doing Asian hate I'm stopping it Oh I'm doing Asian hate? All three of you are In what way? You're excluding me from activities How? I say that I have to watch A tape of you guys partying You're sober We gave you a trophy When you kicked the Yeah, I said I was willing to relapse to do the fucking thing, man.
This says, Bobby Lee, kick the habit. 2022, it's done.
You're sober now. Tell me more, Chad.
Tell me more, Chad. Hey, you two bad friends.
Let me be your good friend and let you know you're both right. See? Okay? We're both right.
Andrew's right because he gave you a nice trophy. He didn't want you to kick the habit.
And I'll sit here and tell you on behalf of the vegan sitting next to me, shroomies are just mushrooms. It's not going to hurt you.
It's not a drug. Come on.
You can come with us. You can come with us.
I would never want to drag somebody back into this shit, though. If you're like, legitimately, let them make them do it.
La lavanda ha vuelto a Starbucks. Pon un toque de primavera en tu taza con el ice lavender match Matcha.
Que lo disfrutes. Tus Ice Lavender Lattes están listos en Starbucks.
Liquid IV. I don't like water, but I love Liquid IV in water.
I like Liquid IV inside of water because it makes it better than water because water is nothing. The hot summer months are here, Andrew, and we need to be proactive about keeping our bodies fueled and hydrated.
Making hydration priority can help us feel healthier in our everyday lives. One stick of Liquid IV in 16 ounces of water hydrates you two times faster and more efficiently than water alone.
That's right. Plus, Liquid IV products taste great with 10 refreshing flavors like Concord Grape, Lemon Lime, Pina Colada, and Tropical Punch.
Sounds like summer, doesn't it? Yeah. What does it contain? Many people ask me about that with liquid IV.
People always say, Bob, what is in it? I'll tell you what it contains, man. What? Five essential vitamins.
B3, B5, B6, B12. Hold on.
There's no vitamin C in there, is there? And vitamin C. Amazing.
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Upstart! Bob, have you ever been broke? Oh my God. Have you ever had credit card death? Oh, ooh la la.
Ooh la la. I've had so much of it.
But you know what? It can be so hard. Back in the day when I had financial problems, I wish there was Upstart.
Yeah, I wish it was there too. Because it's hard see the light at the end of the tunnel when you have a high interest debt.
And sometimes it's even harder to ask for help. That's where Upstart comes in.
So let me ask you something. What is Upstart? Upstart says goodbye to high interest credit card debt.
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That's incredible. So don't wait, guys.
Check your rate today at upstart.com slash badfriends. That's upstart.com slash badfriends to check your rate today.
Don't forget to use our URL to let them know that we sent you. Go to upstart.com slash badfriends.
Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit income and certain other information provided in your loan application. May I ask you a question then? Sure.
Because I know that Andrew and I have a longing to be in movies and TV. You know, we like it, right? Yeah.
But it's like, do you think we're just throwing it away? No, no, no, no, no. I don't think it's like that you should stop doing it.
I'm still fucking writing TV shows and movies and books and whatever. Books are a little different, I guess.
But it's just about screens. You want your face and whatever you're doing doing your creative work to be on as many screens as you can possibly have right movies just aren't as important as they used to be they're still going to be made they're going to be churned out because all these streaming networks there's over 200 of them now have to have a constant volume of shit to keep people engaged enough to pay 7.99 a month or whatever so they're going to need the movies they just aren't like what they used to be be what's gonna separate the class of all of the muck from the thing that breaks out then well eventually it's gonna be ai procedurally generated media no it won't yeah it will human we argue about this all the time no it's already happening you're not replacing the artist though you can call it art if you like it's already happening yeah have you guys seen any of the ai image generation tools Yes, it's fucking crazy.
So OpenAI is going to release Dolly, the full version, for a monthly fee in the next month. Graphic designers, gone.
That job's gone. Storyboard artists, gone.
And eventually, these things are going to filter their way into being able to make full video based on scripts they write. You're basically to be able to ask your phone at one point hey netflix give me a new season of game of thrones and it will make it and you can tell them to put whatever actors you want in it or create new actors eventually deep but guess what chat yeah the ai can't create soul that's right i think it can't think it can.
But on the second hand you say, the human soul. You don't believe in souls at all.
Not Seoul Korea, I meant the other soul. Oh yeah.
Oh yeah, you thought I meant Seoul Korea because of Korean? No, I didn't know. I was like, of course I can make South Korea.
That's actually easily. No, no, no, no, that's easy.
I meant the human soul. Yeah, I know what you meant yeah thank you thank you i don't think like you still think i mean i still think you mean let me ask you this yeah do you think disney executives who are making billions of dollars a year for a giant corporate greed machine are creating soul they did do that movie soul which actually was quite good it was actually quite good no you're right what I mean? Obviously, the root of it is capitalism, but what I'm saying is- It was a great movie.
Disney and Pixar, great movie. And Eric Griffin was amazing in that.
You know what I mean? And I love that they named him Skinny. Oh, that's Eric.
Yeah, that's Eric Griffin. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They grinned. So, what I'm saying is- Is he the cat, too? Because you're saying that they would generate, you know what I mean, artificial actors, right? And don't you think that people can read? Because even when I see what he doesn't, he doesn't believe that we're so close to crossing the uncanny valley.
You're looking at Carrie Fisher coming back from the dead in Star Wars, Paul Walker coming back from the dead in Fast and Furious, whatever. Yeah.
James Dean. We're there now.
Within 10 years, I think The Rock is going to be in every movie. He's just going to license his fucking face.
And if you write movies, you're going to have

to write a rock character for your fucking movie.

And they're just going to be like, hey, Rock, can we pay you $200,000

to CGI your face over this fucking character?

Well, we have him here. The Rock, would you want to do that?

Is that... I would love to do that.

Me and my friend Kevin Hart will be in every movie

moving forward from

2024 on after I'm

inaugurating 2025.

The Rock, how much... Are you still selling your tequila? Tramana.
I love Tramana. Do you drink it often? I pull the agave right out of the ground and I make Tramana in a form-fitting button-down shirt so that you can go, I'm working really, look at my shirt, I got a blue shirt.
Look, he's just sitting there with his barrels. Tramana.
What comes in those barrels? The rock? Tequila's not in those barrels, is it? That's human growth. And that's how we make the Tramana.
Barrels of HGH. It's HGH in every bottle of Tramana.
That's what makes the Tramana taste like Tramana. If I have low T,

low T, low Tramana, then

should I have some of this? That's what low T is.

It's low Tramana.

Get on the T. The Tramana.

Tramana.

I like it when you do it. I want to do it.

Tramana.

Tramana.

Kevin Hart and I are going to smack each other in the face with tortillas

because the kids are going to do it. But you better not smack me too hard, bitch.
Tremana. Because of you, Will, because of that from your show, I have accidentally done that in public.
Said Tremana? Because in the middle of someone talking like, oh, I kind of want tequila. And I'm like, Tremana.
Because of you. And people are like, what? And I'm like, nothing, nothing, nothing.
I love The Rock. I love it.
Yeah, we do too. Yeah love yeah we do too yeah dude I didn't know if you knew that what about Hulk Hogan? I love Hulk Hogan let me tell you all about him oh shit clock spinning but when we were in Florida didn't you see him? I went to his bar for a minute and said hello I hadn't seen him in many years we did a movie together that's right Bobby and I did a movie together a month and a half ago that.
It's going to win all kinds of awards. Thank you so much for coming out to do that.
Oh, wow. Is it ever? Bobby, did you have a good time? We were on the set.
We were in an office. Well, the hotel was near the airport and there was no restaurants near it.
You know what I mean? But other than that, you went there, right? Yeah. Yeah.
I went to a place called Hogan's Hangout. Did you see him? Yeah, yeah.
I saw him for a minute. Was that in there? That Hulk Hogan statue? There was all sorts of swag.
Is he there every day? He's there on Mondays. He does a karaoke night.
Did he recognize you? Yeah, yeah. He was like, yeah, hey, it's that guy.
But we've talked, we've been, he's been conscious of me, which is very odd. I've met him a few times way back in the day when we were, remember when we were doing all that mad TV stuff and wrestling and this and

that, and then in some years after that,

but I hadn't seen him in well over a decade at this point.

Anyway, good memories.

Not too many chair shots to the head for him.

It was back in the 80s, brother.

They didn't do that whole bleeding and chair shot thing, dude.

They just, you know,

just put a hand to the ear in front of the crowd, brother,

get them worked up.

And another guy who knows how to do that is The Rock, brother. I pass him the Taurus resume, 18.
Let me tell you this about The Rock. I love The Rock.
I didn't know that it was called Terramana. I thought it was called Tremana, and that's why I like to say Tremana.
And now it's stuck. But I like it because we're giving it our own spin.
And if you join us in the Sons of Liberty, we'll teach you how to say some secret words that nobody else knows and uh you and your orange hat we'll turn you we'll turn you irish in no time bobby what do you say you've already got the name for it bobby bobby mcclee you've already got the name for that so bobby and i have worked on impressions for decades together. I want to do more Irish.
Teach me Irish.

Hoim.

This is how you say,

this is how you would

fool anybody.

Ready?

Yeah.

You got to use the H's.

Andrew will tell you this.

No, you got to say,

hoim, hoim,

Irish.

Hoim Irish.

Hoim.

Somehow more Asian

for some reason.

Not because you're

looking at my face.

No, no, no.

Close your eyes.

Close your eyes.

Close your eyes.

Okay, everybody close your eyes.

Do it again.

Do it again.

Hoim Irish.

I'm Irish.

I'm Irish. Yeah.
Do it again. Close your eyes.
Okay, everybody close your eyes. Do it again.
Do it again. I'm Irish.
I'm Irish. I'm Irish.
Yeah, do it again. I'm Irish.
Okay. Do you remember we did this on the show already and I taught you? Yeah, but you don't know how to do it.
He knows how to teach me. Oh, okay.
You're right. I think he's better.
We teach each other all sorts of characterizations. I taught him all you have to do is say Conor McGregor.
Okay. Conor McGregor.
Conor McGregor. It's Conor McGregor.
There's almost no way to not say his name.

Chad, you do it.

Conor McGregor.

See?

Yeah, Conor McGregor.

It's almost impossible.

Say Conor McGregor without the accent.

Conor McGregor.

It sounds wrong. Conor McGregor.

No.

It's Conor McGregor.

Yeah, but do you see what he does at the end?

Hold it a D.

Right?

You got to go up.

So anything you say.

Conor McGregor.

John, you want a sixth edition?

Anything you say.

All right, give me a different accent then.

Like Scottish.

Okay, Scottish.

I want to be like that. Then you go down.

January 6th permission.

William Wallace.

You do a bit about it.

Yeah, so give me William Wallace.

Yeah, don't use any vowels.

Just go say William Wallace without any vowels and a gruff voice.

What are the vowels?

Oh, tell him what vowels are.

William Wallace. I'm your uncle.
I'm your uncle. I'm your uncle.
Yeah. I'm William Wallace.
Yeah. What did you do? That was a very Japanese.
Is that William Wallace right there? That was a very good. Chinese Scott described as pillar of community order to leave Scotland by home office.
He was kicked out of Scotland, this poor Chinese man? Yeah. Why? He seems to be one of the few Chinese people there.
See, you know how fucked up that is? I thought he was Scott. The moment I

looked at him, I thought that's a Scottish man if I've ever seen one.

Yeah. And that man was

removed. I thought that was William Wallace.

How does he say his name?

Go ahead. William Wallace.

There it is. That's William Wallace right there.

And he's showing you I have an Irish

or a Scottish citizenship, huh?

And they bullied him out. See guys, we're not so bad here in the United States.
Over there in the UK, they're bullying Chinese people. Everyone has an Asian accent now.
The tar is melting off of the roofs in the UK. Chad, so you think that it's obsolete, right? Only culturally.
Not financially. It's still a big part of the business, obviously.
But basically, making a movie now is just an episode of a tv show but let me actually say that you think then ais right will replace podcasting oh for sure they're doing that's what we're doing we work you're still coming up with it you're still no no the ai tells us what to do it as as an example the ai have you heard of hulk hogan the wrestler so anyway the ai will write news stories and say you know news podcasts are very popular will read these news stories in the voice of hulk hogan but you can't they don't know humor yes dude this ai is funny this right is fucking funny theirs is very and it makes us do weird shit like it'll give us at the end of every episode it gives us like little assignments like you have to go watch uh running man and then next week you're gonna have to talk about it sometimes like it made us one time each of us had to create a song and bring it in we played the songs our whole audience then voted on which one was the best and the loser got shamed we didn't know what the fuck that was until the a is like the ai was like now the loser has to dress up as the crow like full crow cause cosplay for the movie. It was so good.
So Will has to dress as the crow. So I dressed up as the crow because the AI was picking up on the fact that we kept talking about the crow.
For some reason, we're like, yeah, the crow. And we made this weird assimilation between the crow and Batman.
And then dudesy did. It's all very weird.
Before the Batman came out and so-and-so looks like the crow at any rate it made me dress up like the crow that's kind of funny. Sometimes it makes us smoke weed before episodes like get as high as possible and then we have to do an episode.
What about live comedy shows? You think in 10 years that'll be obsolete too? I don't think it'll be obsolete. I think it'll like uh telephone or whatever the telephone fucking becomes can you make me a new richard prior special and it will just make one where he's talking about contemporary events you could probably go you could go hey oh so depressing you'll go hey netflix show me richard prior telling jokes about abortion the fucking jan 6 whatever and then it'll fucking go and then you'll see richard prior doing those those jokes about that there Aaron Weber who I've talked about on the show good comic he just promoted a there is a brand new app or program where you can it generates art you can just ask it anything it'll generate all this original fucking artwork yeah that's Dali Dali that's what it's called there's a bunch there's Imogen Google has one butali i think that's the one i think that's the one it's how do you spell that i'm so scared d-a-l-l-e yeah d-a-l okay and we're done but wait let me finish this so this dali thing you so you have to sign up for them to be right like they put you the the full dali version is in beta right now but they're gonna put it out very soon for like a monthly charge so he was selected by one of these groups like you have to you put your name in the hat to be like hey i want to be a part of the test group and he just got assigned because he put it up on instagram and was like yo ask me anything that's awesome and he all people every fucking image the creepiest part to me was someone would go um darth ader eating soup right that's a it's you can go a million ways the the visual of Darth Vader eating soup changed so many different formats and ways that I was like I don't know if a human could come up with this if they took 100 years.
This is tip of the iceberg dude. It was creepy as fuck.
An image is just a series it's like a brick of pixels. Each pixel is a little square that has a numerical value of light to dark and red green blue so to create every image possible to be generated is possible we just don't have the computing power yet but with quantum computing around the corner i think that's going to exist with the next 15 years or so just a giant database of literally every image so okay look a text and we'll just scroll down a little bit down a little bit please look a storefront that has the word open eye written on it.
That's it. And then these are all generated from a computer.
None of that is real. None of those pictures are real.
Well, I mean, I'm sure you guys have seen the AI-generated people that now exist, right? That, like, ad companies use and stuff? Yes. They're not real people, but they look photorealistic.
There are videos. You can just type in what you want them to say, and they're like, hello.
Welcome to our company. And they look like perfect mixed race.
are ais yeah those are all fake people and this is again this is the wheel eventually there's going to be a fucking ferrari you know we're we're just at the tip of the iceberg of this shit how come the sex dolls still look so bad it's good they look so fucked they look they always look there was a man yeah do the guy there was a guy that just got a divorce from his wife so he could marry his sex doll. Yeah.
Nice. And she said it's because they made it look too much like her.
Like they sent in her photos and he wanted her over there. But she still looks like shit.
They don't look good yet. How do we have all this power? They're going to.
Look at this here. Is this the guy? He married his robot sex doll, Margo.
Yeah, that's it but but honestly they still look like shit you know why i think it's there she is there's still too much stigma over big fake tits and skinny waist and big butt male looking female looking whatever kind of sex robot you might want i think there's still too much stigma around this yeah but eventually that's gonna fucking fisher that'll bleed off it's like online dating you remember when online dating first fucking happened and people were like, oh, how'd you guys meet? It was our friend's party, right? Like nobody would say they met online anyway. Now it's the primary way everyone meets.
If I had a wedding and I was mirroring a... Let's just listen.
The answer is yeah. I would officiate it.
You think everyone will come to that wedding? Would you make fun of me? Of course. Well, then I'm making fun of it.
I'm an officiate. It's real love.
I know. All right? I don't want to be fucking mocked at my own wedding.
I would make fun of you if you married a human. What would be the difference? Oh, that's true.
Yeah, there'd be zero difference. Yeah, I don't think I would invite you to my wedding.
Would you guys mock me at my wedding? Absolutely not. Yeah.
I'm down with this shit. But deep down inside, you'd be like, this is not real.
Will, would you mock him at his wedding? Yeah. What? I'd give you guys a gift of a bunch of car batteries or something.
That's mocking. That's fun.
Because my wife loves that. Look, there they are together.
Yeah, yeah. This ain't real.
Yeah, oh yeah. And he dresses her up, which is even more fun.
That's amazing fun so he goes shopping often for her clothes he's just going viral but that guy is fucking let's say I mean we don't know this man but let's say this man is happy doing this he probably is what's fucking wrong with him nothing at all my comment was how they still look kind of that still looks like a toy yeah sure why can't we make it look real real I mean I think that's, but also this kind of an aesthetic is its own thing. I mean, if you look at, like, what's going on right now with Gen Z and all the different V-logging they're doing.
Is that what you're saying? What's that? Like, he prefers a physical doll. Yeah.
In the next generation of this. Look at the most realistic sex doll.
Kids are going to be fucking things that look like anime characters and unicorns and whatever. It's like a luxury you want.
It looks pretty guess yeah the answer for impersonal sex is not uh in you know crude rubber you know robots and stuff that's not where we're headed as chad will tell you it's the metaverse so you know that's true actually you wear you put on your oculus right and you put something on your penis right yeah thing and i think that what do they call it when it touches back haptic feedback haptic feedback oh yeah the best kind of haptic yeah yes what you do is you you I like to grab the ass well this right my solution that's my thing my solution yeah all you have to grab is put on the oculus and then you know insert yourself into a sexual partner okay hold on a second a second. You keep the Oculus on, but you have sex with a person.
And then, you know, you can kind of believe whatever that is. As a matter of fact, it would probably help a lot of marriages.
Let's put our Oculus on. Who are you having sex with? Well, you don't ask.
You don't. You just let them do it.
Because then it's like we're both having our fantasy then. Right.
And the Oculus is like, this past week, an experiment was just done with the first AR contact lens. So instead of wearing like Google Glass or whatever, you just put in contacts, and I get a full heads-up display of everybody's vital stats.
It's the future. We're here.
Yeah. And that eventually is going to become VR.
Your clothes. That contact will be, you can switch between AR and VR instantaneously.
Now, Chad, can I ask you, is this gay? Let me ask you if something's gay, right? Oh, I don't know why you're asking me. This is my favorite segment of Bad Friends.
We do this every fucking week. So if I have the little thing on my penis, right? Well, maybe the haptic.
The haptic. You don't insert it into your urethra.
It's something that goes around your penis. I understand that.
I'm not going to stick it inside my body. You just said I stick it on my penis.
On it. Not in it.

Sorry.

No, it doesn't go on the tip.

Unless that's what you want.

Around the penis, right?

Yeah.

And I have the thing on my head, right?

But then I ask Chad, can I touch your ass?

Would that be considered gay?

Why is he in the room?

What?

I'm asking him a favor.

I'm an ass guy.

I like his ass.

I'm not gay.

But I want to do the...

You know what I mean?

I'm making love to... You know what I mean? Okay.
I'm one of your best friends that hurts i would not do you why because you would laugh i would yeah yeah i would hear you laugh okay how about this if i put tape over my mouth and i and i promised i wouldn't laugh the only way i would let you grab my ass while you were in vr is if you weren't jerking off at the same i don't want you tugging and grabbing my ass no i'm not touching your dick i have the haptic on my penis and you're grabbing my ass and yeah and i have the thing so i'm making love to a woman in the fucking thing i think that's fine i'll let you do that but i'll tell you why i wouldn't use you because i would feel like i was gonna being rushed what do you mean i just feel like you have shit to do i got stuff going on yeah yeah and i feel like after like 10 minutes i'd be like i just feel like he has an audition you know i mean i would be in my head, it would fuck me up. But I feel like he would finish.
Why? There's something about him that he would finish. I would finish.
I think that's... You would stand there because you're a nice guy.
You would stand there and just let me finish. I'll let you finish.
Well, he would probably come over to set it up for you because he knows all that geeky stuff. Yeah, yeah.
But Andrew would be with him because they're doing shrooms together. That's right.
Yeah. And then Chad's on the other side of the room, you know, going boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, trying to set up your fucking haptic penis urethra insertion.
And you'd be grabbing Andrew's ass in the meantime because you don't know. You're in the metaverse.
It's just like we said. Don't ask.
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No, dude. I didn't have to go walk around that hot, hot, hot, hot.
Talking to those guys in suits, they're like, hey, let me get you the best deal that I can. Every time I've ever been to a car dealership, I got to tell you, it's always a haggle, hassle haggle.
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Vroom.com. A guy last night, I'm not kidding, me and Fahim and Ali Makovsky were sitting eating a piece of pizza, and a guy overheard our conversation and knew that we were comedians, and then out of nowhere was basically just like, sorry to interrupt a news drop, I heard you guys are comics.
What do you guys know about comedy in the metaverse? And I was like, look, I don't, first of all, don don't don't just talk to us out it was so fucking uncomfortable I'm eating pizza and you're like and you obviously have listened to our whole conversation but then he was like and then Fahim actually engaged with a guy and was like yeah I did shows on zoom but everybody hated it and he was like I do think comedy is going to live heavily in the metaverse and I was like I, I highly doubt it. He's like, you don't know what you're talking about.
And I said, here's the deal. We do this for a living performance stuff though.
Like beyond what we were talking about before, live performance where it's immediate feedback, I don't think has any space in this world. Agreed.
I just don't think it'll ever live there. I'll tell you this.
Have you done, have you guys done any VR? Yeah. Oh yeah.
I have Oculus at home. How do I? Have you watched any basketball games? Yeah.
Yes, I have. What did you think of that? Look, dude, I'm an avid sports fan.
Okay. So I'm maybe the wrong audience.
I don't want to. Either I want to be there.
Yeah. Or it's in the background at my house.
Well, I mean, I want to physically be there. It's not replacing it yet.
I can't. That didn't work for me.
It just. I know what you're saying you're saying it was amazing to watch yeah but i also the whole time because of my consciousness was like i'm still just in this bullshit watching this yeah jack nichols was not there right he no he was he was oh he was there but i think it's cool i just i just it's just there's something missing live performative things there's such a there's something that you need the physical energy and presence of humans that i don't think you'll ever be able to do with that thing i agree with you i don't think it's there yet i think it will eventually get there i think every kind of human experience will be replaced by something digital or at least a very close proximity or a close uh approximation of it close enough that you'll be like well fuck i can't make it to that baseball game will i pay a dollar to fucking basically be there that's worth it i just think it still won't replace live crowd mentality there's something about i mean have you been to the grand canyon i talked about this with someone before it's hard to articulate because i'm not intelligent enough but truly something happens in your brain when you see a nature at its one and in wonder it's i wish there was a way to describe it but it does something physically to you it's just that no matter how how immersive you could get you'd never be able to fucking match it yeah no huh it's a what it's just a fucking canyon this is the bobby's world thing we talked about before you so not present it's a canyon it's a marvel it's a wonder I've seen canyons I'm a canyon guy oh you're a big canyon guy I've been to canyons all over the world man what canyons have you seen I've been to a canyon in Thailand which one I don't know what it's called but I saw it so you really enjoyed the time I'm just saying when you see one canyon you've seen them all but this guy is perfect for what i'm saying he's good for the guy that just puts on the thing it's like me saying i saw a river it was amazing who gives a fuck see and he's he needs i think there's still a level of immersion that isn't quite happening yet you still have to put on this fucking chunky thing on your head yeah you still don't have 360 view it's still like the resolution's kind of shitty still that That's going to change.
What about sporting events? You think sporting events? There's no way to do that because you... Where were you five minutes ago? Hang on.
No, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait.
It's almost as if we just said this. No, no, no, no.
You saw a basketball game that was actually happening, right? Yeah, dude. We just had a conversation.
No, I'm thinking CGI players. No, no, no.
It was a real game. Yeah.
I watched a real basketball game. Right.
That was really happening that I could turn on the TV and watch. Yes.
Right. What I'm saying is, can you, those are real humans playing, right? Yeah.
Are they going to ever, are those real humans going to be replaced by? Here's what I think is going to happen to sports. That's what I'm asking.
I mean, do you follow any e-sports? Just people playing video games as professional athletes? Yeah. You know what it is going to happen to that's what i'm asking i mean do you follow any esports just people playing video games as professional athletes yeah you know what it is yeah so that's basically you're watching like you're watching controlling it sure but you're also watching the thing they're controlling which is a computer generator like if you're watching overwatch you're watching the characters they're playing you're watching the guy playing that character but you're also watching those characters i think what's going to happen to sports primarily with the advent of ar is that you're going to see it start merging into the sports already you have things uh like in baseball umpires bowling fucking perfect games on the last call of a game and shit yeah that happened a couple years ago that's going to be fucking gone i'm into that everything cameras and everything basketball people fucking flopping and shit left and right whoever i mean basketball to me is one of the most uh corrupted games by human error because the the referees like never know when it's a foul the rules are also quite fringe soccer too like that soccer is like yeah but um what i'm saying that but there's no way a computer is going to determine who the winner is no one will watch that no what do you mean like if there was a they do that they've been doing that for a computer animated game every single day every day would have a randomized uh finish a randomized result based on what happens during the game it's like any other experiment today the ai doesn't necessarily know what's going to happen at the end yeah and it's like characters do you do you follow little mikayla do you know her at all no but she's a computer generated influencer oh really doesn't exist just a, dude.
She's got a couple million followers, I believe, on Instagram. Gets brand deals left and right.
Really? Will there be a time where we have a computer-generated... She's not real.
No, wait, wait. That picture's real.
No, she's not real. She doesn't exist.
Okay, go down to the photo. The first photo.
That's not a real person. It's a fake.
That's correct. She has a new single out.
She just dropped a new single. Oh, we're fucked.
We've got to save her money. out oh we're fucked we gotta save her money it's over we have to save her money well we're both you just told me to buy you a $6,000 sex doll and now I have to save my money you gotta pick a lane buddy listen listen listen in the world I see up in the northern where I'm from I'm gonna buy a plot of land over an aquifer you're all welcome up there thank you uh Bobby we're gonna have the urethra implant uh haptics pen yeah it'll go right in your penis put a fucking oculus over your face you can pretend you're you know banging whichever NBA star you like with whatever kind of upturned Asian penis you like okay you know like not even a real like oh it's, oh, it's Blake Griffin, but he's got this kind of penis.
Right, right, right, right. And with the hook, like Andrew's talking about.
My favorite. Like Blake Griffin, Halle Berry's pussy.
Right. Okay.
Yeah, exactly. Blake Griffin with Halle Berry's pussy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You will be able to get that delivered to your door within 24 hours, I think, within 10 years.
I'm going to watch the AI movie called Bobby Lee the Movie. I'll be like, turn on Bobby Lee the Movie.
And just based on this conversation in five years, it's going to be, the opening of the movie is Bobby coming in, like turning on the lights in his place, sitting down and go, like after a hard day, drops a briefcase for some reason. It goes, Blake Griffin with Holly Berry's pussy.
And RBG's breasts. RBG.
Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then just a pen will insert into your penis. And Chon Cheyenne Fat's eyes.
I like his eyes. Dude, this is a remake.
This is the remake that Netflix will do starring you of Weird Science. Wow.
And how many people do you think will pay for that? Will film have made its comeback by that time? It won't matter. Because it'll take like...
Nobody's making any of this. There's no physical production anymore.
Will anybody get paid anymore? Will there be any monetary stage? The CEO of Netflix. Yeah, the one person.
Yeah. the one person yeah wow good all the money has to go to one person when is this gonna happen i would say when is it gonna happen i think you're you're already starting to see no but when am i going to have to find a job you're there now buddy no i mean i think you'll be okay you'll probably be able to license yourself into ai other shit like you want bobby lee in movie and a TV show? They'll just send you a fucking check for whatever your rate is and then you'll be in that movie or TV show.
I don't think any... I gotta say I'm with the guys here.
That's already happening, dude. Bruce Willis was in a fucking cell phone commercial in Russia that he ain't in.
He just licensed his face. That was it.
And did they AI talk? Made him talk? Yeah. Can we do that Bruce Willis commercial in Russia? Fucking Val Kil val kilmer you're talking about top gun they ai'd his whole fucking voice in top gun maverick is not val kilmer's voice by the way that is an ai can i say side note definitely cried during that scene it wasn't even that strong of a scene but i cried because i saw the guy and then when i because i watched a documentary before that and i was like this is the saddest thing i've ever seen in my life a hero who can't talk anymore it was so i kind of do, no shout at the people that made the film.
I wish they made a little bit more of a meal out of that scene. In a way.
Made him sing or something? Well, make him dance. Make him dance.
Wait, this is, okay, this is it. Let's see the Bruce Willis commercial.
Let's watch this. All right.
That's the guy who got kicked out of Ireland. Yeah looks fake yeah it does look fake that isn't the point of this no no but I know what you're saying it's as close as I think it could get for now you know in the next five years this shit is going to be basically be perfected Russian deep cake she makes deep cakes all from the comforter of her own kitchen.
Two girls, one cake. You guys have seen deep fake Tom Cruise on TikTok.
That shit looks real in most cases. That guy is so good.
His impersonation is unreal. It's uncanny.
So good. Which? The fake Tom Cruise.
She had Bruce Willis' face. I don't like Tom Cruise.
Okay. All right, Bobby.
We're not going to're not gonna do this shit got real he does if he decides he doesn't like your face boy oh boy does he check out I check out he's a big time I don't like your face guy I'm a face guy for sure I mean that shit looks real dude yeah that does look real yeah get that get it out and this again this is just some guy with a fucking TikTok account he is a graphic graphic designer, a graphic artist, something like special effects guy. But, like, imagine what a fucking billion-dollar studio is going to be able to do when they're like, we're just going to license The Rock or license whoever.
Actors aren't going to have to fucking show up anymore if they don't want to. That is definitely coming.
Let me change your gear because I saw something on that Instagram that was kind of, that made me think about you. We talked about this off air, and I do want to talk about it because it's fascinating.

They had a relationship.

So that girl,

the fake AI that's on there,

little whatever the fuck her name is,

she has a relationship.

They show her boyfriend,

and then they show the storyline of her relationship with her boyfriend.

Because the youth now

is telling their tales through Instagram.

Is he real?

No, my friend.

It's Shia LaBeouf.

Yeah, this is all fake.

You haven't heard that Shia LaBeouf is dating little michaela yeah they broke up they broke up oh they did miles teller has taken her out on a couple of those two aren't real that's right okay all right i'm i'm so so anyway what i was saying was there's a story that's being created obviously for their relationship about when out to pasta it's like it's you know whatever and they're gonna have them break up at some point sure which brings me to this what you were talking about with me about the bachelor and the manipulation of the show this is kind of where that same mindset is of like you can create this entire where people in the comments give a fuck when they break up it will be an outpouring of people being super upset and mad about two fake people that never date it this is the world we live in now is dominated by parasocial relationships that's relationships that we all have with celebrities or little michaelas whatever where we're looking at them through a screen they're looking back at us but they don't know who the fuck we are they're not really interacting with us but we're being tricked on a sub-psychological level this shit started really in the 40s and 50s with tv news anchors they were like the first real parasocial relationships where they're talking to you through a screen and you're getting the response in your like lizard brain of like that's my friend they're looking right at me they're really talking to me now it's all social media is that haptic urethra pen so whether it's on this screen or your fucking tv screen or whatever we're all engaged with so many different people through these parasocial lenses that we don't really have real relationships with so it doesn't matter if they're real he's living it right now because him and he's him and his girlfriend split up and publicly so and what's crazy about it is the reaction from the fans yes and the way that they talk about their relationship as if they know anything about but they do know a lot about lot about it because they've been public. But the creepiest part is when you'll read stuff or someone will say something to you.
People know that we're best friends and people will come up to me and be like, strangers, how's Bobby? And I'm like, what do you mean? And they're like, is he okay? And then it clicks in my head. I'm like, oh my God, this guy is, this is a genuine.
He's genuinely concerned. Yeah.
If Bobby's OK. And then he's like, let me tell you a little bit more about comedy in the metaverse.
You're like, get the fuck. This guy's back.
Yeah. He just takes a piece of your pizza.
Get away from me. You know, it has been weird.
Like, because I, you know, this is the first time I've ever been like breaking up with somebody that was also because people Because people saw our relationship unfold in the podcast. That's like The Bachelor, dude.
Like The Bachelor. And I realized that I no longer ever want to do this again.
You don't want to be public in a relationship. I'm never going to be public.
I'm going to keep it sacred because it's been... The kind of comments I'm getting and the messages, they cross the Of course they do.
Right. And they're so intrusive.
Right. And then there was an outpouring of love.
But you don't know the fuck I am. No, no, no.
But to be fair, the people that do say things that are like loving, like what we did talk about, they are showing genuine. They are.
It's as good as they can get by going, I really do like you. I'm a fan of you.
Yeah. And I do hope that you're okay through all this.
It is genuine. But whatever they say is going to rub off wrong, even if they're being positive and supportive.
Because it's going to creep you out because you're the newscaster in 1940 going, I don't fucking know you. But do you guys have any parasolial relationships like this? Or have you ever in your life? Have you ever had a deep fandom of any actor, athlete? I haven't.
I've never been like. I mean, I follow Hogan on the internet, but I don't have to read all of his posts, brother.
Let me tell you something about parasocial relationships, dude. What does that mean, Hogan? Hold on a second.
Hold on, Andrew. I'll tell you all about it.
Because in 1988, when the Mega Powers exploded, Macho Man thought that I had eyes eyes for miss elizabeth but we were just friends dude that's a parasocial relationship brother we don't actually what does per social mean parasocial so is that me i'm sorry i'm so sorry is that me being a fan of somebody or somebody that has to have a relationship with it's a one-sided relationship it means like outside of your of your, like this is a social interaction. We're in the same room.
We're interacting. If I was sending you a DM, that is parasocial.
It's outside of like an actual social interaction. This is primarily what all relationships are now.
You have a couple of actual relationships in your life with whoever you're dating. I do have some guys on like Instagram.
The guys that are like fans of mine that talk i've never met them in flesh yeah our relationship is solely based on comedy and parasocial that's parasocial no if you're dming with them if you're interacting that is not parasocial oh okay parasocial is the relationship is like all the people dming you after your breakup that you've never talked to they've only watched you through that lens wow and they feel like they know you because they listen to you talk and in many cases you're probably directly addressing whoever's listening to you through a camera so it's that pair what we call on i do this other podcast called game of roses it's about the bachelor and we call it the parasocial gaze and we rate different player different bachelor players players social gaze i sorry. But that parasocial gaze, in terms of modern celebrity, is one of the most valuable tools you can have.
Wow. I've never, when you asked, I was trying to think, did I ever have one of those? Do you ever have parasocial? I don't think I do.
I can't really remember if I ever, if I ever had one that really burned. There are things that happen socially, like in the media and stuff that I care about and I'm invested in.
But I don't know if it's like investment in a certain human being. Is that parasocial me being invested in an event? Yes, like if you're watching the Johnny Depp Amber Heard trial, for example, and you start to feel some type of way about who you think should win and who's being funny.
That's parasocial. And it's like you think now that you know a little bit about their relationship, but all you're doing is watching fucking videos of them.
They don't know who the fuck you are. Right, exactly.
Like if you send over a hundred DMs to Hulk Hogan on Instagram, he doesn't write you back. That's a parasocial relationship.
That's an example. Now, Bobby, you could have been at January 6th like I was January 6th in the metaverse.
Or the metaverse. Yeah, dude.
And what you do is you just put on your oculus you insert your haptic pen yeah and I was there do you think they're gonna storm the capital now over the oculus next time that would be they're gonna meet in the metaverse to storm the capital metaverse insurrection in sandbox oh that would be really great and then and Trump is there in the metaverse I would play that game if there was a game called insurrection right Right? It was until January 6th. And I get to wear my camo.
Uh-oh. This is how it starts.
Yeah. And my camo.
And like my flagpole. Maybe a noose for Pence.
Yeah, man. Right? And I would act it out.
A noose for Pence? Yeah. They wanted to kill him.
They wanted to hang Pence. Sorry, dude.
They wanted to hang him? Yeah. They were yelling out, hang my Pence.
Hang my Pence. And they had an actual noose outside the fucking Capitol.
Yeah. Well, that does, I gotta be honest, the rhythm is good.
Hang Mike Pence. It is a good rhythm.
Because you're not gonna say, hang Nancy Polo. It's too much.
It's too many syllables. They were saying, haptic Pence.
Haptic Pence. But I would like to see, like, you know, if I could break the window fast enough.
Yeah, yeah. You have all sorts of challenges.
Yeah, yeah. But the difference is how fast can you?

Oh, that's terrible. When you climb the wall

and you keep falling.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can't fall.

It's like Donkey Kong.

Imagine he gets kicked

out of the metaverse.

They're like,

we can't have you in here anymore.

There's just,

you're too disruptive.

What if you're wearing

those glasses

and you're talking

to a Chinese guy

and it just says

Ching Chong, Ching Chong, Ching?

That'd be weird too, right?

That'd be a malfunction.

That'd be a malfunction.

This is breaking.

Would it be a malfunction?

I don't know. Depends on which one you you get you can get the trump metaverse glasses ching chong ching chong every time metaverse glasses every time an agent speaks to you it'll just say ching chong bing bong in your eyeballs that is great you will get different glasses based on who you are and what your price point is.
I'm sure they're not going to all work that well. How much are these going to be? I don't know.
Did it say in that article? Oh, yeah. Like some of them will only do language, but some of them will maybe tell the time.
Is that what you're saying? Yeah. It's like an Apple Watch versus a Fitbit.
You know what I mean? All of this shit eventually is a contact lens in your eye that just, it helps you with everything in your life. You know what would be cool? Hey, this is all cool shit.
But you know what would be really cool? When all this stuff comes to pass, and I'm speaking as a guy who has a fucking podcast that's run by an AI. But when all this stuff comes to pass and it's actually happening, you know what would be cool? We go, wow, that's really crazy shit that's going on out there in the world.
Let's get together and talk about it on a podcast. So I don't think there's going to be a whole lot of weight given to AI entertainment so much in the future.
Sure, AI can help. You look at the medical advancements that you can do in the metaverse.
You can have people sitting in a giant classroom learning more interactively. That's great.
We, like I said, have a podcast. It's essentially programming our show.
But like I also tell you on the show, any good podcast is just two dudes shitting around, right? So that's what's going to happen when we get Oculus and we get our fucking dickhole pins and all that good stuff. We're going to be sitting here in another five years going, can you believe we're immortal? Go ahead, Chad.
I like when you're talking. I was just going to say, look at what's happened technologically in the last decade or so with smartphones, with the internet, with social media.
At this point, technological change, how it's affecting human society is so fucking rapid. It's not going the other way.
All this shit that we're looking at on these screens, like we're at the tip of the iceberg with these things ai quantum computing ar all this shit i think within the next 10 years we're going to see easily as much progress as we saw with the other technologies oh my god and i will be holding on to the reins of human civilization in the old school way i'll be i'll be i'll be pulling back still doing dudesy with you and going no. Why, though? Stay with me.
Let's live over that aquifer. But that's not true, dude.
You're on social media all the time. Don't know about that.
Yeah, I enjoy. I'm a fucking baby, man.
I think despite your outward protests of the way technology is affecting us all, you fucking engage with it as much as anyone else. Yeah, and I liked video games when I was a kid.
So what? What's your point? I know who the fuck I am. I know that I don't want a fucking food pill or a fucking haptic dick pen.
Well, I will take the latter. I do like that.
Yeah, that's right. Well, let me say this.
Chad, would you just last thing I want to say? Chad? Yeah. Chad, Chad.
Chad, Chad. When things go down, things are rapidly changing.
He's not protecting you, Bobby. Don't do that.
He doesn't give a fuck about you. When it goes down, it's going to be Chad and Chad.
It's not going to be Chad and Bobby. May I ask, though? It's a no.
The answer is fucking no. You know who else I know, then? Lex Friedman.
He'll help me. Lex doesn't give a fuck about you, either.
No, he doesn't. He cares about human beings.
Yeah, he does. But he doesn't care about Bobby.

He does.

Not specifically. When the world is going to end, he's not going to help you.

I'm not going to move in.

I'm going to call.

I'm Lex.

You're pitching me right now?

Are you yelling at me?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm calling you.

What's going on?

What do you need, Bobby?

The world is collapsing.

I'm going to see information.

Things are crashing.

Buddy, you're way.

I'm already in the spaceship.

I got to talk to you later.

That's what's going to happen.

Lex Friedman is gone.

I like that. What do you need, Bobby? The world is collapsing.
I guess it's the information. Things are crashing.
Buddy, you're way. I'm already in the spaceship.

I got to talk to you later.

That's what's going to happen.

Lex Friedman is gone.

He's gone, living on fucking Mars. Shut it, shut it.

Yeah.

I'll take the call.

See, there we go.

And I got him.

He'll be right next to Lex.

Oh, that's true.

What do you mean?

I'll pretend like I'm still here, though.

I'll go to his little castle in those fields.

That's funny.

Your little relationship with Lex Friedman, he's like, hang up.

And you're like, I got, let me.

Bobby, no, I'm still on Earth. I'm still on Earth, buddy.
I'm in West Hollywood. Everything's going to be fine.
I know it looks bad, but everything's fine. Just go to sleep tonight.
Meet me for some food pills. Listen, I wouldn't worry about it.
In the world, Chad is purporting to be our future world. Whatever president you want, hey, just pop it into your haptic dick pen and you got Val Kilmer as your president if you want.
I wanted more of that. That would be cool.
I know. That'll be your experience.
I want to pick that. Because we'll all just be sitting there in Matrix bowls full of blue gel with a fucking haptic pen in the back of our head.
You know how it could work? It could work like this. We all have to pay our it is no no no i'm out whatever this is i'm already you gotta pay your taxes too in quotes the government the government is just an ai so you put your fucking money in and then you just get a checklist of where do you want your dollar spent on what defense health care climate change whatever and we all get to determine where it goes and then it produces a president like little mikaela that we see distributing that money in fake virtual videos and it looks different based on whatever you want it to exactly it can be whatever nationality you like right i don't want a woman being president yeah whatever kind of person you are whatever kind of flavor you want all right chad you know what for years and years i've thought you were on the wrong path what about.
But wait, but wait, we have a breakthrough. You thought he was wrong, but now you.
Yeah, I think we are good friends. And I hope that you guys get there someday.
We will. And we will.
Bad friends pulling good friends. Hey, do us a favor.
Do us a favor and go watch Dudesy. It's a fucking phenomenal podcast.
Great one. Bye.
Thank you for being a bad friend. Bye-bye.
What a tremendous sign-off. Why are you so angry, dude? Like, fucking check yourself.
Yeah, bro. It's a comedy podcast, man.
Relax. Yeah? Yeah.
Okay. What do we...
Okay, what? Revenge? No, no. What? I didn't say anything.
Yeah, Bobby. Look at his attitude, man.
Live in the moment, man.

Bro, be present.

Thank you guys for coming.

Thanks for having us. Thanks for having us.

Yeah, this was great.

We did it.

Say goodbye.

Thank you for being my friend.

That was so much fun. Yeah.
Woo.

Yeah.

Woo.

Yeah.

Woo.