The Rock's Oscar

Speaker 1 Hey guys, the Moment House live episode we did is only around for a couple more days. A couple more days.
You can go to momenthouse.com/slash bad friends. Momenthouse.com/slash bad friends.

Speaker 1 You can see the live episode we did. And look on look the reviews.
People loved it. It was one of our best episodes of all time.
Thousands and thousands of people.

Speaker 1 If you don't watch it now, can they watch it again?

Speaker 1 If you watched it originally, you can replay it as many times because if you buy it, you can re-watch it. Yeah.
And it's only available for a couple more days. I think maybe till the end of the week.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But go to momenthouse.com/slash bad friends.
The link is in the description below. Watch the live so we can do more of those lives because we had so much fun.

Speaker 1 Doc, Doc. We're going to give you a vaccine so you don't get sick anymore, Doc.
Aw, my mom's here.

Speaker 1 How much did you sell a gram of a crack for?

Speaker 1 Don't come come up,

Speaker 1 mashisa.

Speaker 1 Don't come up,

Speaker 1 mashisa.

Speaker 1 Don't come up,

Speaker 1 mashisa.

Speaker 1 Don't come up

Speaker 1 mashisa.

Speaker 1 You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 We're bad friends.

Speaker 1 Announcement.

Speaker 1 Another episode of Bad Friends.

Speaker 1 We had a schedule. You know, we have a schedule.
We book, you know, people that do our podcasts, it's kind of like not a big deal, but you know. It's a big deal.
It's a big deal.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a big deal. You know, we give them a platform.
Yeah. Right.
We don't have a lot of people come on.

Speaker 1 Speaking of a guy that definitely needs platforms. Right.

Speaker 1 Figuratively. Literally.
Literally. Yeah.
Yeah. Doc Willis decided once again to not shoot.
He's booked today

Speaker 1 10 minutes before we're shooting. He's sick, not with COVID, but with a mysterious illness.
Because fancy, what did he say? Allegedly, he ate something. Bad, bad.
So we took him to a fancy restaurant.

Speaker 1 This is who Doc Willis is in San Diego, like a

Speaker 1 steakhouse. A high-end.
A high-end steakhouse, right? On the same night of my show where he did 35 minutes. Exactly.
When he was supposed to do 10. Maybe 10.
Seven minutes.

Speaker 1 And we just found out that he snuck away from the steakhouse and went to 7-Eleven and got their Taquito. Taquitos.

Speaker 1 And those are like 45 cents. Yeah.
Yeah. Meanwhile, we bought him an $85.

Speaker 1 $85 T-bone steak. Right.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 he's sick with stomach flu or something. Yeah, no, so he says.
He eats terribly. Do you believe it? Do you believe that he's sick?

Speaker 1 Well, because I got to tell you something. Oh, come on, Drew.
You know something. Alcohol poisoning is sick.
Yeah. Oh, from wine.
Yeah, yeah. Let's see if he's got to say something for himself.

Speaker 1 Let's get mad. Be mad.

Speaker 1 Let's drill him.

Speaker 1 All right, you call him now. Now you call him.
Now, if you call him consecutively, now he'll know something's up.

Speaker 1 I know, but if he picks up with me, would you be mad or not? Yeah, you got to drill him. Oh, would I be upset that he picked up for you? Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, because he's probably not wanting to answer, but then he sees if we both call, he thinks something's going on. Okay, here we go.
Well, let's leave him a message. A harsh one.
Okay, good.

Speaker 1 But I feel like I'm going to go hard and then you're going to back off. No,

Speaker 1 no, I'm not. I'm going to go hard too.
You want me to open, though? I'll open it. I'll open.
You're calling. Okay.
What's up, fam?

Speaker 1 Leave a voice, man. Doc Willis, just leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Speaker 1 You know, Doc,

Speaker 1 a couple years ago when I was doing this podcast with Andrew,

Speaker 1 I thought, you know what, dude? You popped in my head. I'm like, I'm I'm going to help this fucking guy out, man.
I'm going to put him on my popular fucking podcast and I want to resurrect whatever.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? And we've done you a fucking favor, dude. We put you on our podcast.
Your family. And let me say something to you, man.
You fucking betray us, bro.

Speaker 1 Bro, when we book you, right? Please fucking show up, man. You would show up to Amazon or whatever that fucking warehouse that you fucking work at.
You would show up for like your your fucking

Speaker 1 fat fat pussy right what you know right you would show up to a liquor store if they were gonna close at two in the fucking morning dude well you your little tummy hurts bro you fucking fuck

Speaker 1 ass

Speaker 1 face

Speaker 1 hey buddy uh i i hope you're uh getting better uh get well soon we'll see you soon love you bro

Speaker 1 i mean we gave it to him We hammered that guy.

Speaker 1 I'm telling you, we gave that guy something to think about. Bro, let me tell you something.
Dude, that was not a joke. He's going to remember that now for the rest of the day.

Speaker 1 I have to call him back now. What are you talking about? I have to call him back now.
No, we hammered him. No, no, no.
You didn't. I look like an asshole.
No, no, no.

Speaker 1 You said that you would fucking do it with me. Dude, you were beating him up.
And then I came in at the end and I was like, oh, good cop, good cop, bad cop. Yes.
No. Yeah, yeah, but.

Speaker 1 Because we're not police officers. Isn't that crime? Well, they defunded us.
But I got to tell you,

Speaker 1 we manhandled him right there. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 this was like he was Rodney King I was the guy hitting him right and you're at the fucking I drove back to the station yeah you're back at the station narking on us well because I was like what they're doing is

Speaker 1 I don't like what's going on out there

Speaker 1 yeah yeah yeah no I gotta call him back that's fucking bullshit dude oh you want me to hammer him now yeah hammer him okay

Speaker 1 I'm gonna give it to him now he's gonna answer on this at this point no I'm just gonna apologize you don't have to hammer him no we should hammer him again no no I'm because you're gonna open it you want no you go ahead and do it do do what what you have to do.

Speaker 1 Do what you think is right. I don't know why you think you need to call him back.
I think we got. No, I know, because the thing is, I sound like an asshole.

Speaker 1 I think he's going to feel literally bad about it. He's probably going to watch the episode and know that you're just teasing.

Speaker 1 But you should leave a heartfelt, real message.

Speaker 1 Hammer him up top. No, no, no, no.
I already hammered.

Speaker 1 You read Doc Willis, I leave a message, and I'll get back to you. We're going to be so sad if we found out he's dying.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Anyway, I'm sorry. You know, that was a little too far.

Speaker 1 I hope your little belly

Speaker 1 feels better.

Speaker 1 And, you know, if you need anything, I'm busy, but I can suggest Peptobisma, Imodium AD. Call me.
If you need anything, you can call me. And Andrew wants to say something.

Speaker 1 You're fired.

Speaker 1 Get better, Doc Willis. We hope he's better.
The guys literally had COVID more times than I thought you could get COVID. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I didn't think you could get it more than four times. I'm not joking.

Speaker 1 I've never even heard that. I read an article.
I don't think you can. How many times? What's the maximum amount of time somebody's gotten COVID for real? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because honestly, I bet you the ceiling is like three, and they're like, after that, you didn't get it again. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You can get COVID up to what?

Speaker 1 People have. Yeah, multiple times.
Yeah. What's the most times people have gotten COVID? What the most,

Speaker 1 the most somebody's gotten COVID.

Speaker 1 I was on the phone with Joe DeRosa.

Speaker 1 43. 43 is not real.
That's not real. There's no way that's not real.
I said positive 43 times. Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
But yeah, that's not. Yeah, that's okay.
But that's still a lot. Dave 72.

Speaker 1 He's driving this. Look at him.
And he's still smiling. He lost an eye because of it.
Yeah, look at him. Poor guy.
Yeah. Go down a little bit.
Let me see what it says there.

Speaker 1 Dave 72 is a driving instructor and a musician who spent the last 10 months with an active coronavirus infection, visiting hospital seven times.

Speaker 1 His immune system was vulnerable to the virus after leukemia diagnosis and chemotherapy. So he's sick.
This is sad. This is sad.
So he just had, he just tested 72 times in one gigantic COVID state.

Speaker 1 I think he just did it like, he probably did like 40 one day and then 32 the other day. Right.
He just kept testing over and over. Oh my God, Bobby Lee.
Bobby Lee. What?

Speaker 1 Top gun. You saw it?

Speaker 1 Let me say this. Top gun? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Not kidding. The best movie I've seen, action movie I've seen in years.
In years. I told you, right? No, I I know, but dude.
It's so good. No, beyond.
Yeah. And Miles Teller, fucking amazing.

Speaker 1 You're cemented forever as one of the best actors to ever live. Yeah, yeah.
The kid is done. He did it.
Yeah. He could quit now and be fine.
After Fantastic Force Tick.

Speaker 1 I mean, you know, Fantastic Force, one of the worst movies. Yeah, but what else would he do as good? Whiplash, phenomenal.
Amazing. Guy hit it out of the park.
Yeah, yeah. Very talented guy.
But yeah,

Speaker 1 Top Gun was so good. Yeah.
That I'm not kidding. I did this during some of the performances.
Get him!

Speaker 1 Shoot him! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, it was the dog fights.
I was just so locked up.

Speaker 1 Because, you know, I always go to the fancy one. So I do the chair thing.
Me too. Woo! Woo! Right, I go to the chair and I go lean back, right? For top gun,

Speaker 1 I didn't lean it back. I leaned forward.
And I was leaning forward like that. The whole time.
Yeah. That's so dope.
And if I, if Tom Cruise's dick was right here, dude, yeah, I would have sucked it.

Speaker 1 Sucked it.

Speaker 1 What is this? I want to be a signed top. What are you doing? We playing this in the middle of a thing.
Hold on, hold on. Oh, Fancy.
Can we do the conversation and do you do the clip?

Speaker 1 Fancy is on the same.

Speaker 1 He is going to get fired. Yeah, what is going on with you guys, all right? I don't know.

Speaker 1 No, let me say this. Tom Cruise, I am dead serious.
I will join Scientology.

Speaker 1 I will join Scientology. Did he do a welcome thing in your movie? Yes, and it made me smile.
Yeah. And we all cheered.
The theater rotated.

Speaker 1 If you've never seen that before, well, hello, I'm Tom Cruise. He goes, hey, we did this for you.
This is all for you. And I got to go.
And I went, me?

Speaker 1 Everyone clapped. Right.
I went, me. Me, Tom Cruise.
Yeah, for me. Everyone clapped in the theater.
Literally, people were like, yeah, Tom. Yeah.
He's the last movie star. He's the last.

Speaker 1 He is one of the last movies. He's the last action star.
Sorry. He is the last action star.
Because if Daniel Craig is done with

Speaker 1 Dub 7, then that's it. Yeah.
He really is the last movie.

Speaker 1 Because The Rock doesn't count anymore. The Rock is

Speaker 1 bigger than... He's like a...

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 He's like Amazon. He's too big now.

Speaker 1 The Rock is the biggest.

Speaker 1 He's a movie star. But not an action star anymore.
He's an action star. No, because now when you see The rock in action movies, they're always kitschy.
Like Dark Shazam or whatever that movie is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're always kitschy. What's that called? Dark Shazam.
Black Adam.

Speaker 1 Black Adam.

Speaker 1 Oh, sorry.

Speaker 1 That was the alternative name for Black Adam. It was Dark Shazam.

Speaker 1 I literally thought it was Dark Shazam. The studio was like, should we call it Dark Shazam?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Is that what it's called? Black Adam.
This is the problem. This is the problem.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I had a friend growing up named Black Adam.

Speaker 1 This is the problem with this. When you see The Rock in films, you only see The Rock.

Speaker 1 He doesn't transform anymore. Yeah.
Tom Cruise still was Maverick in that fucking movie.

Speaker 1 When you saw it, you were like, Mav is back. Like when I look at it, I go, is that Ethan Hunt? I don't think that.
I don't think that. But when The Rock's on, I go, that's The Rock.

Speaker 1 I don't care if he's a lawyer. He's Rock.
But he's not a lawyer because a lawyer never looks like that. That's insane.
But doesn't he do some serious movies or no? He's never done like a lawyer thing.

Speaker 1 Well, every time he does one of these buddy comedies with Kevin Hart or whatever, they do have like sweet moments. Yeah, but he's got to do.
I want him to do a movie where there's no action.

Speaker 1 This is going to be the fucking test. Look, he's doing San Andreas too.
They're doing that one. They're banging that one out again.
Another earthquake.

Speaker 1 Doc Savage? Doc Savage. Do you know what that is? What? Doc Savage is the man of bronze.

Speaker 1 What? Yeah, the Man of Bronze. You don't know this? No.

Speaker 1 This is real. I do know what this is.
It's a scientist created him as the original superhero.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're just another action. They're grasping.
They're digging as deep as they can. Because, like, when Tom Cruise was in Magnolia, he played, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Unbelievable. Unbelievable, right? Unbelievable.
Not an action movie. His acting was superb.
Super movie, right? So I think The Rock needs to do something like that. But can he do it?

Speaker 1 Here's the problem. The problem is the muscle, the muscles are super.

Speaker 1 He's got to do what fucking, what's his name did for the machinist?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 no, he's got to weigh like 70 pounds.

Speaker 1 Dude, if The Rock lost,

Speaker 1 got down to 70 pounds, right? Well, I'd be dead. And just the movie was called The Gnarliest Hive.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but Hive City.

Speaker 1 Or I don't know what, like, he's sick.

Speaker 1 What's another city outside of Philadelphia? Yeah, Philadelphia. I'm sorry, my bad.
Yeah. It could be

Speaker 1 Baltimore. Westchester, Pennsylvania.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 Westchester. Yeah, I can't say that.
So just say Baltimore. Well, you can't say Westchester.
No, I can't. Say West.
West. Chester.

Speaker 1 Chester.

Speaker 1 Westchester. Westchester, Pennsylvania.
Anyway, if he did, like, you know, got down to 70 pounds. No, he can't.
Not because he could. He could.
He weighs like 300 pounds. If he wants an Oscar, he can.

Speaker 1 No chance. You just got to look.
You know what he needs to do? 260 pounds. Let's say he gets down to 100 pounds.
Yeah. Okay, we'll do that.
As a producer, I go, okay,

Speaker 1 that's like the highest you can go. 125.
Give him 125.

Speaker 1 All right, he'll still look bad. He'll look unbelievably bad.
He'll look bad. Yeah, yeah.
At 125 pounds. And then you think he can get an Oscar? And then

Speaker 1 for Westchester, the movie Westchester? Because that alone, alone, I think, because they'll eat that up. The Rock gets monkeypox.
He's getting method. He has method, right? Yeah.
A monkey pox.

Speaker 1 He gets the

Speaker 1 monkey pox.

Speaker 1 And it's eating him alive.

Speaker 1 So he is. In the movie, he's used to.
He is an old action hero who gets monkeypox. He can't fight anymore.
And now. No, no, no, no, no.
He can't. He's got to be.

Speaker 1 No, because that's already going to, in my mind, is going to be like, ah, he's still doing.

Speaker 1 He's trying. So he's got to be something that he's never, like, we can't even foresee him doing.

Speaker 1 what something out of the box.

Speaker 1 Like, he's like,

Speaker 1 what could he have been doing?

Speaker 1 He

Speaker 1 has a

Speaker 1 florist.

Speaker 1 You ever seen the movie The Florist? No. Really? Have you seen the movie The Florist? You never seen this? No.
Such a good movie. Okay.

Speaker 1 Forget the Florist. You've never seen The Florist? No.
It's wonderful.

Speaker 1 It's a wonderful film. Okay, good, good.

Speaker 1 I've never seen it. Okay.

Speaker 1 Right. But it's lower posting.
Give me another job. What's even more? Why can't he be a florist?

Speaker 1 He works at the airport. He's a baggage handler.
He's someone that works at a kiosk in a mall.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, he does. No, I know what it is.
He does perfumes in Nordstrom's. He has a kiosk at the mall, but you know what it is?

Speaker 1 He does Fluffy.

Speaker 1 Gabriel Herglesius. He's a smerch? He sells Gabriel's merch? Yeah, he sells Gabriel Urglesius merch at the mall, right? So he has the bobblehead posters, right? Right.
And so in the movie,

Speaker 1 he's still, we got to bring him down to 150 in the beginning of the movie. Yeah.
Right. And then.
Is Fluffy losing the weight with him? Are they doing it? Well, Fluffy's in his team. Fluffy's in it.

Speaker 1 And Fluffy has monkeypox. Okay, the Fluffy has monkeypox.
Is that how The Rock got monkeypox? Yeah, fucked him to ass. Wow.
Yeah, but we're not doing it in a comedic way. What do you mean?

Speaker 1 Oh, it's love. It's pure love.
Okay. Because The Rock is a huge fan.
His character, let's call him David. No.
Why? It's just not. All right.
Don't give me like a Bible name. Give me something else.

Speaker 1 Keto. His name is Keto.
Keto because that's very islandy.

Speaker 1 What's wrong? He's from the island. What do you mean? He's fucking got Samoan.
Vlad. Vlad.
Vlad. Oh, he's Russian.

Speaker 1 We don't ever explain it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Vlad, what's his last name? Tchaiovsky.
Perez. Perez.
We do two different.

Speaker 1 So he's Russian Mexican.

Speaker 1 He's Russian Spanish. Yeah.
Because acting is so good. Yeah.
Vlad Perez. Vlad Perez.
He's got to be kind of a half-Mexican because of Gabriel. Right.
That's how he works in the circle.

Speaker 1 He's a huge Gabriel Glesians fan. Right?

Speaker 1 And then one day, Gabriel's playing some sort of stadium next door. Dodger.
He's at Dodger Stadium. Oh, let's shoot it in LA.
Oh, let's shoot LA. I'm already here.
Yeah, yeah. All right.

Speaker 1 He's playing Dodger Stadium. Dodger Stadium.
But he wants to see how his kiosk is doing. He sees.
He stops by Westfield Mall in Sherman Oaks.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 No, the mall in West Covina. Oh, yeah.
Okay. That's even better.
Okay, than West Covina. I can believe that.
Yeah, yeah. So Gabriel bounces in,

Speaker 1 wobbles in, or whatever. I don't know how he walks.
I think they push him. I think he rolls.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember how they rolled Violet when she got swollen in Billy Wonka?

Speaker 1 And they'd love to. I love Gabriel, so I don't want to make fun of him.
I love him. Or just tease him.
Okay, so he comes in. He kind of

Speaker 1 rolls in.

Speaker 1 And, you know, Vaude sees him. Yeah.
And he's nervous because that's his idol, right?

Speaker 1 But then Gabriel, there's an attraction, instant attraction. He's like, I love this guy.
Right. He doesn't show up to his gig.

Speaker 1 He doesn't go to Dodger Stadium. So we cut to a scene, right? Everyone's there.
Gabriel,

Speaker 1 Fluffy. Right.
You just cut to

Speaker 1 some hotel next to the fucking West Covina. And it's like a 30-minute love scene.
We'll see this. Listen.
It's going, fluffy, fluffy, fluffy.

Speaker 1 And then, and then, you know, cross-cut to fluffy, fluffy, fluffy, and they're making, and they're making it. It's so good.
And they're making it so. You know what I want to do? Some CGI shit.

Speaker 1 I should direct this, right?

Speaker 1 Do I get to fucking DP it or something? Yeah, you're DP it, right? I want to do a thing where, you know, how, I don't know if you saw Fight Club, but you know how they zoom in and get it.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you saw Fight Club.

Speaker 1 Name one guy that's never seen Fight Club. All right.
You know if you've seen Fight Club, you know better, right? Fight Club? Yeah, you know Fight Club. Yeah, you know Fight Club, right?

Speaker 1 You know how Fincher would zoom into the back of the refrigerator and, you know what I mean, do all those really intricate. So do you know? I want to do that with blood vessels.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Right. Yeah.
So

Speaker 1 you're going going to see fluffy, right? And you put the camera inside the mouth and you go in and you see the monkeypox

Speaker 1 bubbling. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 They're bubbling, dude. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're fucking bubbling. Wait, what?

Speaker 1 Are there real monkeys in there? No, but we would do like they would. The noise you hear when the monkey box is spreading is monkey noise? You know what we would do?

Speaker 1 We would slow down real monkey noises.

Speaker 1 So they would be ambiguous, but you would get what I'm saying. We would, though.
It's an inside baseball thing.

Speaker 1 Right, right.

Speaker 1 Right. It's inside baseball.
So we go into the mouth, right? You see the fucking blood flows.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 It's coming down Gabriel's. You know what I mean? It's a long travel.
Yeah. That's not a fat joke.
It's not a fat joke. It seems like it.

Speaker 1 But go ahead. It is.
It is. It is.
It is. It is.
So that's a long.

Speaker 1 And even the monkey box goes, God, this is exhausting. This is exhausting.

Speaker 1 Exhausting. So tired.
Right. It goes out the penis and into Vlad Perez.
Yeah. The monkey pox.
The monkey pox. Right?

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 he gets pregnant with the monkey. No, because he's just got the.
No. No.
I thought that's how you get pregnant. No, no, no, it's not come.

Speaker 1 And he's a guy. That would not make any sense.
What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 2022, Papa. Anything can happen at this point.
Okay, you want to incorporate that in? Yeah, I mean, make this movie fantasy if we're going to be fantasy. Okay, how about this then?

Speaker 1 So he gets pregnant with his baby. Here's the cuck then.
And he's like, you got to lose all this weight to the body. Vlad Perez, we think he's a guy, but he's really a woman transitioning

Speaker 1 but he didn't get all the parts so vlad is vlad's

Speaker 1 you know what i'm saying vlad is transitioning into becoming a man

Speaker 1 yes but she still has the women parts so she can he can still give birth right and so i guess gabriel's fucking him from behind okay right because he doesn't know there's a pussy there

Speaker 1 and instead like this is good stuff this is good stuff the fans are gonna love this is that right how do we get from him not discovering that his dick is in the butthole and not the vagina?

Speaker 1 He can't see it. Exactly.
It's dark.

Speaker 1 Two ways to look at that, but yeah.

Speaker 1 Anyway,

Speaker 1 we'll figure that out. We'll figure it out.
Well, right, so he gets monkeypox and he gets pregnant. Is that what you're saying? Correct.

Speaker 1 And in order to have the baby, the doctor says you need to lose all this weight. And so he then needs to.

Speaker 1 But I thought the whole thing that he was losing, because we're basing it on Philipadelphia too, that he got sick from the monkeypox. And that's what this is a good.
I'm creatively opening it.

Speaker 1 We're working it out. All All right, we're going to go out and work it out.
How about a combination, right? The monkeypox is fucking his body out, right? Yeah. Plus, the baby, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is fucking her body hitting it. The monkey.
The monkey baby. It's a monkey.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it's a sci-fi.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I didn't know.
So the monkey pox.

Speaker 1 So the monkey. I know what it is.
Here's it here. As a director, check it out.
Yeah, please, director. The monkeypox is going through Gabriel's body, right?

Speaker 1 Out the penis, and it joins up with regular sperm. Sure.
Right? So we see all that. The fucking monkey pox and the sperm colliding,

Speaker 1 right? Like it's a traffic, traffic, like traffic. They're merging.
They're merging. And they, one of them,

Speaker 1 they join together, right?

Speaker 1 And then we go into

Speaker 1 Vlod's body. Yeah.
And you can see this now.

Speaker 1 It looks like sperm, but it's got hair on it.

Speaker 1 It's kind of like you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, it looks like

Speaker 1 it's got hair on it. In fact, I'll do an Andy Circus thing and I'll do the fucking green screen stuff.
Where's your face? Yeah, it was my face.

Speaker 1 I mean, you don't even have to do that, but I could do the wiggles.

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Speaker 1 You ever see that movie, The Mask? Jim Carrey's The Mask? No, not the Jim Carrey month. The share one with Eric Stoltz.
No. Mask.
No.

Speaker 1 I've never seen this movie. Is this it?

Speaker 1 What happens in this film? Oh, that guy. That guy.
Yeah, that's Eric Stoltz. That's Eric Stoltz.
Yeah, yeah. Is he alive?

Speaker 1 The character's not. The real guy that's based on dies, like in the movie.
Oh, he does? Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's his name again? There is a real character. Yeah, that was based on a real guy, that guy.

Speaker 1 That's the guy right there. Yeah, that's the guy right there.
Who's Elephant Man, right? Yeah, Rocky Dennis. No, he's not Elephant Man.
Elephant is English. What is this guy then?

Speaker 1 This is Elephant Man 2. The sequel.
The second one. Yeah.
Got it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You got it.
That right there.

Speaker 1 I don't ever want that. Be nice.

Speaker 1 So anyway, that kind of looks like me. Maybe we can

Speaker 1 be good at terms.

Speaker 1 It kind of does. That kind of looks like me.
Yeah. So anyway.
Like, there's enough qualities. I have a wide face like that and red hair.
Okay. We'll talk about that later.
But can we finish the movie?

Speaker 1 Sure. All right.
So the baby comes out, hair on it. Right.

Speaker 1 And it could be sort of like a heartfelt moment, like a Rocky Dennis thing, where it's like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Vlaud raising this kid, and it could be all about like bullying, and we could fuse all that stuff in there. So that's

Speaker 1 trying to get him sensitive to the rock of fucking Oscar here. Right.
Right? So don't worry about it. Monko.
Monko is his name? Yeah, name the kid Monko.

Speaker 1 Maybe, I don't know. Well, that's not going to help bullying at all.
What? That's not going to help the bullying. Yeah.
Munko.

Speaker 1 You named him Munko. Is that too close? I think it's right on the money.
Yeah. Oh, it's too close.
I think you'd have to name him something else.

Speaker 1 Well, you throw out, because you're helping me write this. Give me the right, yeah.

Speaker 1 Chimpy. Chimpy.
Is chimpie better? Rangi. Rangi.
Rangi. Rangi.
Oh, yeah, rangi. And he has red hair.
He's an oldie. He's right, yeah, rangi, right.
You know, they call us rangas in Australia.

Speaker 1 And in the, you know, the kid, Monkey Pox baby. Lil Rangi.
Little Rangi, my bad, bad, is eight years old, bullied, comes home with a black eye. And Vlad could do like, hey, kiddo, hey, Rangi.

Speaker 1 I mean, Dad, can we change my name? I don't like Rangi. Why not? I don't know.
I'm just, do you think a kid would like that name? name? No, I'm saying why. Oh, you're doing dialogue with me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, why not?

Speaker 1 Because it just seems, because the kids make fun of me, and, you know.

Speaker 1 So?

Speaker 1 That's true. Fight back.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I will. Because I have monkey strength.
That's exactly right. Like a chimp strength.
You have chimp strength. Whoa.

Speaker 1 No thumbs.

Speaker 1 But you have strength. You have strength.
You have a lot of strength. Right.
And then maybe there's a moment where he fights back. And

Speaker 1 guess who shows up to help him fight?

Speaker 1 The rock. The rock.

Speaker 1 So you can fuse in a little bit of the action at the end. So the kids getting bullied, and The Rock shows up.
Right. And he literally, and I mean, we should shoot it this way.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Beats the shit out of a bunch of eight-year-olds. And I mean, like, pummels their heads.
Well, it wouldn't seem because he lost 100 pounds. I mean, he's down to 100 pounds.
Still got it.

Speaker 1 He still got it. He still got it.
Yeah. The Rock never loses that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's this movie called?

Speaker 1 Black Adam?

Speaker 1 But let me, but let me show show you a video though that made me smile, that made my heart warm.

Speaker 1 Show them the two little kids. By the way, you want to know what kind of fans we have? What kind of beautiful fans?

Speaker 1 These are the type of fans we have that let their children sing our songs. And my favorite part about this is listen when it comes up to cuss words and watch their faces.

Speaker 1 It's good.

Speaker 1 Yeah. This is awesome.
Why are you daddy?

Speaker 1 It's awesome. You know, there's, let's push pause for a second.
There's a woman that bought the rights to happy birthday.

Speaker 1 No. Yeah.
I thought it's public domain. No, somebody bought the rights for it, I think.
Seriously? I think this is what I heard.

Speaker 1 I don't know if this is true, but this is what I heard through just rumor that an old lady one day just decides,

Speaker 1 you know, I wonder if somebody bought that or has the rights of happy birthday and then bought the rights and then she makes Warner Chappelle Music previously copyrighted the song in the U.S.

Speaker 1 and collected fees. 2015, the copyright came was declared invalid and Warner Chappelle agreed to pay back $14 million in licensing fees for happy birthday to you.

Speaker 1 No one's got it now.

Speaker 1 But back in the day, I mean, in the 50s or something.

Speaker 1 Anyway. The rumor mill.
Yeah, but the thing is, I want maybe, you know, I'll let that one go, but.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. No, no, no.
We did. We sent a letter to them.
They owe us. Okay, good.
Yeah. We'll bring it to a suit.
But

Speaker 1 here's the wild shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They, the dad or whoever was like, hey, man, we can't pay this lawsuit. Because we had said you owe us licensing.
He said, how much? Yeah. And I said, you know how much.
One of the kids.

Speaker 1 One of the kids. Yeah.
Yeah. Because we need some help around here because these guys are.
These guys suck.

Speaker 1 So the kid on the right agreed that he can fill in, and the kid on the left is going to be his assistant.

Speaker 1 Cool, cool. Yeah.
Get these fucking guys out of here, man. I'll tell you that right now.
These two? Yeah. They're gone.

Speaker 1 My girlfriend sent me something the other day as a joke, but I looked it up and it's true.

Speaker 1 I'm going to show you this. And I can't believe I even never knew about this.
But it's basically.

Speaker 1 So these two were Simee's twins. Have we talked about these two? No.
And one of them was gay.

Speaker 1 What's their name? Oh, but look at.

Speaker 1 Simon, if you think.

Speaker 1 It said, if you think your life is bad, these are Siamese brothers. Only one of them is gay.
They just died. I think they died a couple years ago.

Speaker 1 He says only one of them is gay, but they have to share one ass.

Speaker 1 It's insane, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's true. I looked at him.
Wait, but one of them is Siamese twins. You're Siamese twins.
Only one of the brothers was gay. Yeah.
So you would just have to be gay at some point.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, I, but, you know,

Speaker 1 is it true?

Speaker 1 It says. I mean, it's all over Reddit and stuff.
Wait, go down to it. Like, go down.
There's got to be a real article.

Speaker 1 That's.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 There's no way this is real.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, the photo, if you look at the photo, one guy is making out with another man while the other one's just going like. The Sex Live of Conjoins Twins in in the Atlantic.

Speaker 1 Well, what would you do? I think about that all the time.

Speaker 1 Well, I'm not. Whose side are you on? What do you mean? Like, let's you and I are Siamese twins.
I'm the gay one. Right.
And the way they're attached is they're attached at their hips.

Speaker 1 At their hip, but they're facing each other. Right?

Speaker 1 What's so funny?

Speaker 1 Because they're constantly facing each other. Wait, how are we facing each other if we share a butt? That's impossible.
If we share an ass, we can't be facing each other. That's their.
Look at them.

Speaker 1 Look at these two.

Speaker 1 They're conjoined. Oh, right.
They're

Speaker 1 buts below. Yeah, their ass is below us, but you and I are facing each other.
How do you do that? How would you do that? What do you mean? How would you do what? Well, what would you do if...

Speaker 1 So what would you do? So I'm gay. I'm making out with my boyfriend, right?

Speaker 1 I would expect you to look away.

Speaker 1 That's what my theory is. No, I'd be staring right at you guys.
No, no, no. That's none of your business, though.
You know what I would? I'd put like a curtain up.

Speaker 1 Like, you know what I mean? Like, I would get a wall of some sort, right?

Speaker 1 or what i would just put on vr headset and disappear that's what you do yeah if you guys were and i i mean it's like well i wouldn't but that's a thing do you have to ask me every time you get it in the ass do you have to like ask for permission and being your brother coming in hot no no you got to give me being your brother

Speaker 1 i wouldn't allow it no spontaneity sex because i don't think they share sensation

Speaker 1 So nobody would feel it without a fairly good thing. I think one of the brothers feel it.
I think the other one doesn't. Imagine you're gay and when you get fucking ass, only I feel it.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying. Right? So, if you felt the penetration,

Speaker 1 that would be cruel because I would get nothing out of it. Nothing? Yeah.
You'd be just knowing that your brother's getting fucked in the ass, isn't that fun enough?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you wouldn't want it because you're not gay. I know, but you're my brother.
We're fighting all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is payback or child.

Speaker 1 How is their penis

Speaker 1 situated? Dude, do you... They must pee.

Speaker 1 Yeah, of course. I mean, they probably have up one penis.
Maybe they share a penis. How? When we're attached by the torso like that.
You share a penis if we jerk off.

Speaker 1 I tug once, you tug once, I tug once, you tug once.

Speaker 1 We switch hands. Oh, we have the one penis? Yeah, like I jerk it, then you jerk it, then I jerk it.
We would switch days. Oh, one day is your day, one day is mine.
Today's your day.

Speaker 1 All right. I think that's fine.
That's fair, fine, fine, right?

Speaker 1 Why is it fine? Just the visual. Oh, look, see, they have two penises.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Honestly,

Speaker 1 I got to tell you. What?

Speaker 1 Top Gun was the best movie that I've seen in years. Yeah.
And then Jurassic. Don't watch Jurassic Park.

Speaker 1 Oh, they did a new one? Yeah.

Speaker 1 My friend Gene and I walked out of it. Terrible.
Oh, my God. Wait, this is funny.
What? Razzle. You know Razzle? Yeah.
He was in the theater when you were there. I know you texted me.

Speaker 1 And I texted Bobby and I was like, hey, why did you walk out of Jurassic Park? Yeah. And you wrote, how do you know that? Yeah, it's weird that you would know that.
Yeah. And I, and I was.

Speaker 1 We walk out and we're about to leave the theater. And we're like, both of us are just appalled by what we've been doing.
It was that bad.

Speaker 1 Here's Here's what it was. Did you see it? Yeah.
What does it got to do tomatoes? Did it make any money, though? I bet you it made all the money. So they made all the money.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 No, I'm happy that they're making the money. But it tanked that bad.
You think it was a matter of money?

Speaker 1 It was annoyingly bad. It wasn't bad in a good way.

Speaker 1 Dialogue? What's the thing that's bad about it? No, it's just, it was basically two different storylines, essentially, that was going on.

Speaker 1 And they were merging these two storylines into one storyline at the end or toward the mid-end, the middle act. Right.

Speaker 1 And it was annoying to watch back both. And also, it's just certain scenes, they just didn't, you know, some of the takes, you know, I mean,

Speaker 1 come on, that's the take you used. It was like that.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I felt like that. But Pratt's great.
I like Pratt Pratt. No, he was great.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to say anything else, but I don't want to make fun of anybody, but because I know acting's hard, but it was.

Speaker 1 $622 million. They're fine.
What was the budget, you think? $300?

Speaker 1 $400?

Speaker 1 I mean, the budget budget had to be

Speaker 1 200.

Speaker 1 I would say 3 plus.

Speaker 1 $185. That's without marketing or anything.

Speaker 1 So it's got to be $250.

Speaker 1 Here's my argument with it. God, that's so much fucking money.
Yeah, my argument with this, if you saw the first Jurassic Park, right? And when you, I know, it's a great movie. The original original?

Speaker 1 Original original.

Speaker 1 That scene where they're in the, you know, I mean, the tour van or bus, right? Yeah. And

Speaker 1 you see the cup and you see the T-Rex coming, and it builds that suspense, right? Suspense. So when you actually see the T-Rex, right? It's like, oh my God, this is so scary.
It scared me.

Speaker 1 I remember being like, holy fucking shit. But when you open up with just this gigantic sea creature pulling down a fucking sh a ship and they're flying around, I mean, it's like there's no suspense.

Speaker 1 There's no, it's very just around, right? It's very fantasy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's just, I mean, and I always imagined when the dinosaurs actually got into civilization that you could just build that suspense and make it scarier, right? Right.

Speaker 1 So you don't reveal them as much, right? You, I don't know how you would do it, but like there's no magic in this movie. There's no magic.
Yeah. See, that's what's that stinks.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 By the way, speaking of Philadelphia, over the thing that we just talked about,

Speaker 1 you see, Tom Hanks came out and said,

Speaker 1 they asked him if he could, if he would make Philadelphia, if like Philadelphia could get made today by him, you know, with him as a star. Yeah.
And he said, no.

Speaker 1 And I, and I wouldn't, and I shouldn't get that role in this day and age. Yeah.
But what's so fucked, you're like,

Speaker 1 how can you say that? You delivered such a good performance.

Speaker 1 The idea of acting is to take on, that's like saying, like,

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 no straight person can ever play, can never play a gay person. No, gay people can never play a grand person.

Speaker 1 He died in the first. How would they justify it? No, no.
He's saying if you tried to

Speaker 1 live like when he resurrects? Yeah. You tried to make it.
And he gets AIDS at the end. Imagine that.
He gets AIDS twice. Like you didn't fucking protect yourself the first time.

Speaker 1 And also nowadays, you have fucking cocktails and stuff. You wouldn't die.
No, but he's saying if you try to to make the movie today. Oh, is that what you mean? They asked him if you made the movie.

Speaker 1 I don't understand what you're asking me. If you tried to make Philadelphia today...
Why would he be in it?

Speaker 1 You're saying he would be a gay actor.

Speaker 1 They were Matt. What he's saying is it should be played by not a straight guy.

Speaker 1 But here he is.

Speaker 1 Didn't win an Oscar for that? Yeah? I believe so.

Speaker 1 I don't think he won, but... He didn't.
He was nominated, right? Yeah. But also, he advanced the conversation so much because of that movie.
Everybody was.

Speaker 1 But here's what's confusing to me is like, I understand the idea of being like gay, famous characters should be played by gay actors today.

Speaker 1 But if you found someone that did it, that you couldn't find anybody else that was gay to do that, why couldn't Tom Hanks do that? The whole idea of acting is to take on Cheyenne Jackson.

Speaker 1 Who's Cheyenne Jackson? He's a friend of mine. He's a very talented actor.
He could do it. You think he could have done Philadelphia better than Tom Hanks? He's a great actor.
This is my point.

Speaker 1 Just because he's gay doesn't mean he's going to do a better performance than Tennessee. Cheyenne Jackson.
All right. So then we should, then you know what? Yeah.
Shame on Tom Hanks.

Speaker 1 It should have been Cheyenne Jackson. No, now.
You're right. Now.

Speaker 1 In our culture, no.

Speaker 1 But what I'm asking you is this, John Wayne played Genghis Khan, right? I was okay with that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. Well, my point is that, you know, you just

Speaker 1 in this day and age. So I went last week.
If you can't find anybody good enough. I got an argument with my agent last week.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I'm like, I can't see the project because I love the project, right? It's a big project. Say it will beep it.
No. I'll tell you later.
Go like this so they can't say that. No, no, no, anyway.

Speaker 1 Just say what it is. So they're remaking something that was big in the 80s.
No way. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Say every fucking movie. That's every movie, right? It's every movie.
If they're doing that, right? Yeah. But it's a specific movie that I was a huge fan of.
Risky business.

Speaker 1 Dude, let me just fucking finish, man. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 I want to guess. Okay.
If you get it right, I'll tell you. Small wonder.
No.

Speaker 1 Was that a TV? But let me just finish. Maybe if I give you more details, then you'll be able to guess that.
Okay. So basically, RoboCop.

Speaker 1 No, but let me just give you the details. Okay, go ahead.
I'm not going to tell you. Right.
So I get the audition. I look at

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Speaker 1 The sides, right? And I read on it.

Speaker 1 Little shop of horrors.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 And I go, oh, I'm not going to read for this.

Speaker 1 Because in the movie,

Speaker 1 where this character was based on in the 80s, it was a little person.

Speaker 1 And?

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 You think you can't play an LP?

Speaker 1 No, I'm just saying, I'm not one, though. Of all the actors I know.

Speaker 1 Don't make fun of me. I'm not.
Yeah, you are. You're saying that I'm small.
No, you're not. Yeah.
Well, you are. Yeah, but I don't look like a little person.

Speaker 1 I'm proportioned in a different way. On camera, sometimes you do.
What are you guessing? Willow? No, because they already did Willow. They're doing Willow, and it's coming out.

Speaker 1 But that's exactly what it was. It's like them asking me to play that little guy from Willow.
I don't know if I was calling him a little guy was bad, but I'm just saying.

Speaker 1 It's them asking me to do, to read for I'm not gonna get it, first of all. So when I read it, I'm like, I'm not gonna get this.
But why couldn't you do it?

Speaker 1 Because the guy that was in the original movie was not only a little person, he was like 80 years old, and he had an English accent. Hey, right? You know I'm a little bit more.

Speaker 1 And he had a single person.

Speaker 1 There's just no way in my mind. I was just like, I can't even, I don't even know how to approach this.
Do your British accent right now. Hello.
Perfect. You're hired.

Speaker 1 I'd put you in the movie immediately. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, yeah, it's like that type of a role, that legendary. And I just said, and I go, I know what this is.

Speaker 1 They're going, because I know the director, right? Kind of you, right? So they're like, we'll just see. You know, he's, we'll just see, but they're never going to book me.

Speaker 1 But that's the whole idea of fantasy and film is that you, okay, here's my point. With you playing a little person, right, that's a physical difference, right? That's why I get that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's like me not playing, I can't play a black guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But in terms of like Tom Hanks playing a gay person, if sexuality is in truth on a spectrum, like everybody wants to promote today, why couldn't Tom Hanks be able to identify with what that might be like if he has personal experience with it?

Speaker 1 Just because he isn't outright gay, I just don't think sexuality can be a determining factor on who can play what. What about

Speaker 1 Daniel Day? Which actually is the most liberalistic view you can have. Because I think you shouldn't corner someone and go, you can only play this because you don't identify as this.

Speaker 1 Well, that seems limited. It's acting.
It's called acting. I get it.
I agree with you. But Daniel Day Lewis in My Left Foot.

Speaker 1 Could he play that now? Well, they probably wouldn't let him, no. I know, not by point.
But do you think that it was wrong for him to play that? No. Because he was incredible.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. It's like

Speaker 1 if you spend time dedicating yourself to something, that's what acting literally, that's what literally it is.

Speaker 1 Otherwise, we're going towards a place when you can only play it if you are exactly the thing. Yeah.
And then you're not really playing anything, are you? You're just, you're not acting at all. No.

Speaker 1 Then it's not acting. Then it's called a documentary.
Then it's a docuseries.

Speaker 1 Okay.

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Speaker 1 and they want you to play abraham lincoln no but i gotta play after daniel After Daniel D. Lewis, would you do it? Be honest, would you do it? You know who I would want to play in that movie.
Who?

Speaker 1 John Wilkes Booth. I know, but not.
Because I'd be so good at that. Now you're not offered that.
I know.

Speaker 1 I know. Lincoln! I know.
I would be so good

Speaker 1 as John Wilkes Booth. They should do a side movie.
Like they did with The Joker, but with John Wilkes Booth. Well, you know what? You know who I saw in,

Speaker 1 bring up the cast of Top Gun real fast. You know who I saw? He did a great job, but I thought sometimes in the movie, when I watch a movie, I go, I could have, that could have been me.

Speaker 1 Out of the group of kids, I'll keep going, show more, out of the group of all the new cadets,

Speaker 1 one of them was, what's his name, son,

Speaker 1 Lewis Pullman, Bill Pullman's kid. Yeah.
And he plays kind of like a sweet, endearing nerd in the movie. He was good in that.
Yeah, he was amazing. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But I looked in the, when I was watching the movie, I did that thing where I

Speaker 1 where I turned and I was like, I could have done, that could have been me. Like that one, of all the roles, I can't be the hot guy in the beach throwing the football.

Speaker 1 no but pullman that one i could have gone out for that yeah you know what i thought could have gone out for that john ham's part you could have gone john ham yeah i think you think so yeah why do you think so i have an authority figure but they didn't want comedy they wanted someone who would be manly and strong i would be serious about it you would yeah all right well then tell me tell i'm maverick your fucking uh what's his call sign what's john ham's call sign in the fucking movie

Speaker 1 you're i'm maverick and i'm coming in and you're you're disciplining me for one of the exercises that we just did i'm not going to give it away i needed a line so cyclone cyclone Cyclone.

Speaker 1 I need a line, so give me a line. What do you mean? Listen, you know the movie.
You're disciplining me for what. All right, here we go.
Yes. You wanted to see me, sir? Yes.

Speaker 1 So, what was that all the shenanigans up there? Well, that was the training exercise, sir.

Speaker 1 You're no longer a part of this program.

Speaker 1 Can I tell you something? Yeah. You're killing it right now.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. You got me? Kiddo?

Speaker 1 You're no longer a part of this program. Sir, with all due respect.
Yes. I'm the top of all the top guns.
You were.

Speaker 1 Now get out of my office.

Speaker 1 Thanks.

Speaker 1 That was really good. Honestly, I felt it for a second.
Thanks. That was really good.
I mean, that was my first try. I would have to work on it.
I would have to work on it.

Speaker 1 And maybe they would CGI in my face. You know what I mean? Make me white.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 Because I think being a little Asian guy would be a distraction. Like, why is this? You know what I mean? You just, we got to get you big.

Speaker 1 We got to Kumail Nanjiani you. We got to get you jacked.
Yeah, I'm thinking about it. Can we do that for this show? Can we get you jacked for bad friends?

Speaker 1 Before we go on tour, we're thinking about doing a bad friends tour, by the way. Before we go on Bad Friends tour, will you get jacked as fuck? I will.
Can we get a bad friends personal trainer?

Speaker 1 You know what I need, though? Can I get a, like, not a shake wake, but like some one that works.

Speaker 1 Body blade. I want something at home that I could do while watching like Netflix or something.
What about a Peloton? I have one of those. I know, so why don't you use it? I gotta go downstairs.

Speaker 1 I say, I gotta go downstairs. I walk down those steps.
Do you remember the body blade? Let's get you a body blade.

Speaker 1 Let's get you a body blade. You just go like this with it.
So you can be doing that without anything. Yeah, yeah, I need to do something like that.
Yeah. You just wobble it back and forth.

Speaker 1 Look at that. That's you.
That's you. That's me coaching you on a body blade.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. On a bow shoot blade.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What exercise can we get you to start doing?

Speaker 1 Truthfully. There's one that I just saw on late night at 2 in the morning.
I was watching TV. And it was like a little thing.

Speaker 1 You sit down

Speaker 1 and there are like little steps. What? Yeah, it's like you put your feet on a little pedals.
No, it's like a little pedals. They're like little pedals, right?

Speaker 1 So you're watching, you know what I mean, your favorite movie. Like you're watching the boys.
A foot pedal exercise music. And you're just pedaling.

Speaker 1 So you're just pedaling, you're watching. So, and it's just a little piece of, it's just little pedals, like it's a bike.
Yeah, and old people do it like that and they really like it.

Speaker 1 For the commercial, they like it.

Speaker 1 We love it. That's it right there.
Just one of these little foot pedals. Yeah, that guy.
And you just push on it and you just pedal. It's that one.
Yeah, like one of those guys.

Speaker 1 That's the ethanol.

Speaker 1 For fucking $300. Yeah, yeah.
$300 for that thing. It's fine.
Just go take a walk. I know, but I have to watch the boys.
I get it. Yeah, yeah.
I want to watch the boys and I want to watch.

Speaker 1 Well, maybe we'll buy you this machine.

Speaker 1 Will you do this under the desk while we're doing bad?

Speaker 1 I was thinking about that doing that, too.

Speaker 1 Maybe we should both get it and see if we can do it longer under the desk. Yeah.
I'm pretty sure that works. We're going to get you on an exercise regimen.
I mean it. Yeah? Yeah, because

Speaker 1 I want you to lean and fit for when we go on tour. That's going to be fun, man.

Speaker 1 That's going to be real fun. Can I show you something, guys? Can I say,

Speaker 1 Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 is this a movie that he made? Yes.

Speaker 1 What movie?

Speaker 1 I just made a new movie. He made a new movie.
Let's watch his trailer. I'm excited.

Speaker 1 Parties and girls, it's gonna be lit.

Speaker 1 My sis, going to Columbia. Looks like I got the looks and the brains of the family.

Speaker 1 I'm proud of you. Okay, who are you?

Speaker 1 Governor Finn wants all detained immigrants gone by election day.

Speaker 1 God, I deported.

Speaker 1 Zero tolerance. The DAA's sovereign attributed charges if he volunteers help care for senior citizens.

Speaker 1 At Owl Cove, we truly appreciate you being here to help out our seniors.

Speaker 1 How am I supposed to be able to do that? Is that Eric Games?

Speaker 1 Miker, I suggest you say something, you know, because you're skinny. I'm Argentinian, Boludo.

Speaker 1 If you stick to the program, your time here should be pretty fast and easy.

Speaker 1 You wait right here.

Speaker 1 Sorry? You win us!

Speaker 1 You really got away with the ladies.

Speaker 1 Is this a horror movie?

Speaker 1 What are you talking about? You trying to escape?

Speaker 1 Oh!

Speaker 1 Oh my god.

Speaker 1 It's okay.

Speaker 1 I promise you, you stick with the program, you're gonna leave this place more mature.

Speaker 1 You may even gain a newfound appreciation for life.

Speaker 1 Mr. Phillips, you okay?

Speaker 1 Mr. Phillips, not breathing.

Speaker 1 Am I in here because I'm Latino or black?

Speaker 1 Or both?

Speaker 1 Wow. Did you really produce that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 What angers you the most?

Speaker 1 Is it directed by Jordan Steele?

Speaker 1 Kind of. Is it Jordan Peele rip-off? Is that what it was? What angers about it? I think it's a brilliant film.
I think it's cool. I think it's cool.
But number one. I think everybody should watch it.

Speaker 1 No audition.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Why didn't we get an audition for this movie? Because it's like Eric's in it.
I mean, I know a bunch of people in there. It's like, we can't get a security guard role.

Speaker 1 No, honestly, dude, there's no security guard role with like a couple of lines that we could.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, no, let's be real.
Let's be real. Let's talk, man.

Speaker 1 You're a producer. You're doing movies.
This is your second one we've seen. Yep.
The other one was a big movie, right? Huge. You're producing, right?

Speaker 1 I'm asking you, dude. Camera.
Right? Because we've gotten you a job here. And we're not asking for roles.
We're not asking for offers. We're asking for the opportunity.
That's right. Right?

Speaker 1 That's right. And it's not like we've never done shit.
Look at my fucking IMDB, dude. We know how to do it.
We know how to do stuff. We know how to do stuff, dude.
Right? A line. So what's the deal?

Speaker 1 What is your pass, ma'am? Something like that. This is a restricted area, so.
Yeah, yeah. No Puerto Ricans allowed.

Speaker 1 Well, you know who I would play. Who? The fucking assistant to the governor.
Oh, yeah, yeah. You'd be great.
We don't need you people around. Right, right.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I'd be like, you know what I would be? ISIS copies. I work there at that fucking place, right? And I'm playing both sides.
Oh, that's smart. Because I'm ethnic too, but I also love the whites.

Speaker 1 Right. Yeah, yeah.
I'm like that, you know. You're one of us.
Remember Derek Chauvin? Yeah. Do you remember him? Yeah, of course.
Stupid Asian partner. Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 1 Every photo that you see that Asian partner, he has this confused look.

Speaker 1 I like how you're like, do you remember Derek Chauvin? Yeah. But his partner, I hate him.
I'm a surprising. Because his partner looks at his what's going on.
Yeah, he's lost. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did he get in trouble too though? I don't know what's going on. No, smart friend.

Speaker 1 He played it like that. I had no idea.
He went to prison. He did.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I believe they, even if Derek Chauvin had his knee on that Asian guy's neck, he would have the same thing as what's going on. Oh my god.

Speaker 1 Anyway, I would play that guy. We didn't get a role.
Yeah, we didn't get it. I wanted to be the ice agent.
You know, I wanted to be an ice agent, bad. Yeah.
But it's a great movie, dude.

Speaker 1 So let me ask you the premise, though, right? Yeah. I don't get it.
So if you're. I knew George Lindbergh Jr., I know him.

Speaker 1 Yeah. JP.
I know him. Why are these kids going to the why are they being deported? Because they seem like they're Americans.
For aiding and abating

Speaker 1 their families.

Speaker 1 Oh, so their families are

Speaker 1 illegals, but these kids were born there. So there's a new rule where even if you're born there, what do you call that policy when you're born here? Look at this guy.
Natural.

Speaker 1 He's clicking on pictures of women he wants to look at.

Speaker 1 We see what you're streaming. That's even funnier.
He scrolled down the list. Yeah.
And then he saw this girl, Catherine Hannah. Yeah.
Hannah. Hannah.

Speaker 1 And he clicked on her because he wanted to see more about her. Yeah, because she's not like super famous.
So I was like, oh, that's the one that's

Speaker 1 too. No,

Speaker 1 you don't have a shot. Go ahead and DM her.

Speaker 1 No, but not that. He does well with women.
I know he does. He does very well.

Speaker 1 I know one girl that wants a Vogue. Well, how about this?

Speaker 1 We've tried to have love matches on this show, and Carlos is single. And any of the women out there, we'd like to put Carlos up for what?

Speaker 1 So I was at a comedy store a couple days ago, and I was in the front, right? Go ahead. And a lady walks up to me.
She goes, Just to let you know, I wasn't hitting on Doc.

Speaker 1 So that girl that was at that show that came to the side of the stage

Speaker 1 for our comedy store main room show. Yeah.
That said she would hook up with, she adamantly, she came to the store specifically. To tell you.
To tell me, no.

Speaker 1 That she wasn't hitting on you. Yeah, but didn't she say she was hit? Yeah, but she was trying to get a laugh and it came out wrong.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? And I go, okay, I'll rely that to Doc will kill himself. Yeah, it seemed like she was hitting on you.
Yeah, it seemed like it, yeah. Call me a fool.
But Carlos is single.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to find this girl because she emailed a bad friend's account about Doc.

Speaker 1 She was like, I'm the girl you think wants to fuck Doc LOL. That's her.
That's who I ran into the. Yeah, she said she did email you guys.

Speaker 1 But I will say this: we're not trying to, we're not hooking up doc with fucking anything ever again. Yeah, because of today.
You've been slipping so much.

Speaker 1 Fancy, what's the other link I sent you in that thing? Didn't I send you another one?

Speaker 1 Oh, look at this. So what's this? This starts playing immediately.
That's why I'm saying that. Go ahead, no, do it.
What is it?

Speaker 1 This got sent to me.

Speaker 1 And how obviously is this, Andres?

Speaker 1 Is that you, Andreas? Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Do you not know how good he is at guitar?

Speaker 1 I don't know if our people found this.

Speaker 1 Isn't that crazy? God, it really is him.

Speaker 1 Tell me that's not insane.

Speaker 1 Did you know that he played guitar?

Speaker 1 That's not him. Yes, it is.
There's no way that's him. But that honestly, pause it.
Very similar. But pause it.
How many? What is that? 37 seconds is a long time for you to not know. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was a long time. No, because...

Speaker 1 First of all, it's pitch black. You just see hands.
That's right. And barely, yeah, but it's not you.
No, but that shot right there. It looks a lot like fancy.
Look at it pull your hair.

Speaker 1 Look at his hair is doing that thing right now. Right now, yeah, you're right.
You're right. It is doing that thing.
For a split second, though, I went, if that's him,

Speaker 1 I'll respect him.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, but you don't still. No, I still respect him.
I just respect him more the next time he's producing a movie. I'm just going to get a lot of it.
Yeah, why didn't you?

Speaker 1 I'm really a little shocked that we didn't get something in your film. The next one is just for you guys.
What is it? It's your movie. Bottoms.
Yeah, of course. That's because we're producing.

Speaker 1 Fuck you.

Speaker 1 He did. Did you see the Tiger Belly thing he directed? The Korean drama? No, no one got it.
That's a masterpiece. Is it really? Yeah, he did a Korean drama

Speaker 1 and hired actors, but Korean people, to play Tiger Belly Crew, and they did a sketch. Oh, I heard about this.
I think it was. So fucking good.
You have to send it to me. Yeah, I'll send it to you.

Speaker 1 Any Korean actors I know? No, it was just like, but the guy that played Gilbert was dead on.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? The guy that played me was so handsome. It was so crazy.
But he has the beauty.

Speaker 1 You know, it's amazing. They're at my house.
It's amazing. Great job.
That's how I know you have the talent. Thank you.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 All right. So, Doc told us that he's now, he was, what, he was sleeping? Is that what it was? He said he was sleeping.

Speaker 1 And he, I asked him to do a video, and he said he'll do it later when he's feeling better. No.

Speaker 1 I was just tasting y'all.

Speaker 1 Wow, you sound bad. Wow.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got this, man, this stomach, man. It's headache, man.
I tried to take it now, but

Speaker 1 it won't go away.

Speaker 1 What are you taking to help your stomach out? More wine?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Fuck you.

Speaker 1 What would you like?

Speaker 1 This ain't the time, man.

Speaker 1 No, what I'm saying is that what are you taking for it?

Speaker 1 Because I'm gonna say, right? Grape drink

Speaker 1 right right grape drink doesn't

Speaker 1 it's a sugary it's so sugary it's so sugary you know but i'm just saying you know stop eating you know the taquitos at 7-eleven maybe

Speaker 1 yeah yeah well actually it's the whole foods food man oh it was whole foods

Speaker 1 yeah i was like fucking again i don't know what's gonna happen it's been a couple times just like this week where i ate and i got sick doc from eating there i'm like what the yeah hey doc, are you...

Speaker 1 What's up, dog? Hey. What up, Layboy? Hey, man, just a question.
Don't get mad at me.

Speaker 1 After you poop, are you washing your hands?

Speaker 1 After I poop? Are you washing your hands? Oh, of course. Of course.
Because this sounds like bacteria. This sounds like bacteria is getting from your poop to your fingernails to your food.

Speaker 1 I have another question.

Speaker 1 I think that's what I'm talking about. Doc, Doc, Doc, Doc, Doc.

Speaker 1 Have you been eating other people's assholes?

Speaker 1 Well, you know, man.

Speaker 1 You do love to eat ass, right?

Speaker 1 Well, you know, groceries is part of the game, part of the sex game. Part of the game,

Speaker 1 they call you Black Man, Black Pac-Man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Black Pac-Man.
Maybe just ease up. While you're sick, ease up on the ass.
Ease up on the ass for just a week. Okay.

Speaker 1 Doc, we miss you, dog.

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 1 we miss you, doc. We're sorry that you're sick, bro.

Speaker 1 Yeah, thanks, bro. Miss y'all too.
I'm sorry, man. All right, man.
Get better soon, baby. We miss you.
Oh, miss y'all too, dog. All right.

Speaker 1 Bye.

Speaker 1 We lost doc. That's it.
Yeah. He's dead.
Can you believe he's dead? He's dying. He's gone.
He sounds fucking awful. He sounds terrible.
Or it's the best acting we've ever seen.

Speaker 1 That could be, that's really funny.

Speaker 1 He's at Disneyland right now.

Speaker 1 And he's like, gets in a bathroom. He's like, oh, man, I was so sick.

Speaker 1 Let me ask you something.

Speaker 1 If you did find out that he was doing something, he found something better to do. Like, for instance, he's right now next to.
He's at your mom's house. He's on their podcast.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or he's at, like, you know, I mean, Fire and the Kid or something. Yeah.
Would you be mad? He decided to do them instead of us? No. God bless.
Would he ever do ours again? No.

Speaker 1 No. That's the end of that.
That would be the end. But if we found out that he was lying to us and doing another show, yeah, that's it.
That's good. Good, good for you.
Move on. Move up.

Speaker 1 But you wouldn't have him back. I'd key his car and light his apartment on fire.
No, I would not have him back on the show. He would never perform live in L.A.
again. Ever again.
L.A.? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Southern California. Yeah.
In the entire world. Of course, of course.
Nowhere, nowhere, nowhere. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 He'd have to kick rocks in New Mexico. Get a couple gigs in Nevada.
But we love Doc and we hope he's good. That being said, Whole Foods, Whole Foods, Food?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I think what he's saying is that he, because Whole Foods does have a cafeteria for employees. You know what else they have? What?

Speaker 1 You know, when you walk into Whole Foods, you guys have seen this, they have a bin that's discounted like meats and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 It'll say right on it.

Speaker 1 Do not eat.

Speaker 1 But it will say, it'll say like almost, almost,

Speaker 1 it says a sign. It's almost expired.
Like, almost gone. Would you eat that? No.

Speaker 1 Like, if you were like on a budget. What am I saying? Then I wouldn't go to Whole Foods.
That's true. Well, who the fuck is on a budget going to Whole Foods? Don't go to Whole Foods.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You're on a budget, you go to TJ's. You're on a big budget, you go to John's, not Bond's.
You're on a big budget, you go to Smart and Final.

Speaker 1 If you're really struggling, you want to go to the 99 cent store. But I've seen guys that go there.

Speaker 1 They were serious regulars on a show, right? I've eaten 99 cents store eggs. Now the money's running out, right? But they're used to the lifestyle.

Speaker 1 So they go to Whole Foods and they might get that like, you know, my two-day-year-old ground beef. Humble yourself.
Go to a fucking store that's go to Smart and Final where it's cheaper. That's true.

Speaker 1 Because I used to eat that shit. I used to eat 99 cent store eggs.
I'm not kidding. I ate poultry.

Speaker 1 I mean eggs. Yeah, I did.
Do they have fucking eggs at the 99 cent store store? Yes, they do. They have everything.
What kind of eggs? Huh? From what animal?

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm not sure. Maybe a rodent of some kind.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a gerbil egg, maybe I ate.
Well, can you eat turtle eggs? Yeah, you sure can.

Speaker 1 Are they cheatable? They seem cheaper. No, they're more.
That's delicate.

Speaker 1 That's a delicate. My bad, my bad.
No, but I mean, I've had you, it's a mixed. Yeah, you open up the dozen and it's like that's gerbil, that's hamster.
Oh, they're different colors and sizes.

Speaker 1 Different sizes and colors. Yeah.
Somewhere purple into small. Snake eggs.

Speaker 1 You get what you get. It's a free-for-all.
Yeah, you get what you get. Yeah.
And that's a good scramble. That's a good mixed scramble.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I've eaten so well. You've eaten bad shit.
When you were broke, you ate bad shit. Yeah, but I, but, yeah, but I would go.
There were only specific places I would go. Like, I would go to El Pollo Loco.

Speaker 1 You could get their bean rice and cheese. Love BRC burrito.
El Pollo Loco. Because they were like 99 cents.
You can't go wrong with bean rice and cheese. Well, nothing goes bad there.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, bean rice and cheese, you're fine. So that's a 99 cents.
I would go to, like, I would get a breakfast at McDonald's when I was poor. What? I used to get it all the time.
I still get it.

Speaker 1 I still get it. Yeah, I still get it.
Yeah, all the time. I love it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I would eat, but I would eat. I ate ramen one time for a month because I had no money.
And I had to eat it every single day for a month. But I would only eat it twice a day because

Speaker 1 more than twice a day, I would get. I started, the smell of it made me nauseous.
Yeah, even now when I get like,

Speaker 1 sometimes like late at night, I go, oh, maybe I'll make this ramen. It hurts my neck.
There's so much salt.

Speaker 1 Like my neck gets, I have to take my fucking

Speaker 1 high blood pressure medication. Your neck gets stiff from eating ramen.
You can't even sip the bowl. Like, it really fucks my body up.
Is that bad? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 There's so much, like, yeah. MSG probably fucks your body up.
No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 I think they found out that it's not that bad for you. MSG? Yeah, it's not that bad.
I know, but the salt, I don't think the salt is bad. Salt isn't bad for you.
Oh, come on, man.

Speaker 1 Unless you have too much. It's like anything.
It's like butter is bad if you're scared. It just does something to me anyway.

Speaker 1 But you know what I do, I'm guilty of?

Speaker 1 Mac and cheese from Kraft. Kraft is so good.
Velveeta, first of all. Yeah.
If you're going to do it. Oh, really? Velveeta is better than Kraft? Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Kraft mac and cheese is good, but I like the Velveeta stuff. I think that's it.
Now, do you use whole milk with it? 100%. I get a cow.
I go to a farm. Yeah.
And I

Speaker 1 milk a cow right into that. I'll get whole milk.
Whole milk is the best.

Speaker 1 Anytime I try to alternative milk, I don't like it. The only one that I can fuck with a little bit is oat.
Oat a little bit.

Speaker 1 I've been, so this is what happened.

Speaker 1 I'm glad you just said that.

Speaker 1 I'm being real. I'm so glad you said that because

Speaker 1 it's not even funny. I don't know why I'm saying it, but it's a revelation i had so the other day before jules went to the philippines i've been eating cereals

Speaker 1 cereal yeah you're eating cereal again yeah okay so i've been eating life cinnamon oh my god it's so you can't

Speaker 1 it's so fucking good and this one and are you drinking the milk when it's over cinnamon milk yeah golden grams whoa hello love golden grams so fuck but i was getting massive diarrhea because i'm lactose intolerant because i was getting the vitamin d like homogenized

Speaker 1 what do you got homogenized. Homogenzonized.
Homogeninized. Homogenized milk.
And I was having diarrhea the other day and she's like, just drink oat milk with it. Yeah.
So I bought oat milk.

Speaker 1 Tastes the same.

Speaker 1 It's close. It's close.
Close enough to fuck. Here's the problem with those alternative milks.
They don't get as cold as real milk. Do you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 When you pour it in a thing, it's not as cold. Right.
It gets warmer faster. Real milk stays colder faster.
Stays colder longer.

Speaker 1 In fact, I'm going to go to the, after this, I'm going to go to Ralph's. I'm going to get by more cereal.
And oat milk. yeah.

Speaker 1 I want to come over and have a cereal night. Can we have a cereal night where we just like to be like a nice one? Which ones do you like?

Speaker 1 Oh, my. I mean, there isn't a top five.
Top five. Of all time.
Yeah. Like, one, like, I, ones that I like.
Here's what I don't like. Peanut butter Captain Crunch is probably one of my favorite.

Speaker 1 I hate any Captain Crunch. Wow.
You're wrong. It fucks.
I hate it. Because it cuts up your mouth.
I don't like the texture. I don't like anything I'm making.
You got to get a stronger mouth.

Speaker 1 Is that one of my problems? Yeah. Life cereal is genuinely one of my fucking favorites.

Speaker 1 Cocoa Krispies. Cocoa Pebbles.
Cocoa Pebbles. Cocoa Pebbles or Coco Pops.
Corn pops. Love Corn Pops.
I don't even think corn.

Speaker 1 I don't like corn.

Speaker 1 Almost all cereal is made from corn. I know, no.
I don't, but you know what I'm saying. It's like that flavor that the corn pops have.
The raw fruit loops. Hate it.
You don't like fat loops? No. Wow.

Speaker 1 I like the ones with the double side.

Speaker 1 What is that? The weedies, but with one side is completely white. I don't know what that is.
Frosted. Oh, frosted flakes? Not flakes.
Love frosted flakes. Frosted weedies.
With the cubes.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. What is that called? Oh, oh, oh, I love this.

Speaker 1 Not shredded wheat.

Speaker 1 The one side's white. Come on.
I know. It's got cream on it.
It's cream. It's cream.
It's a white thing. It's a cream.
I love it. Frosted mini wheats.
Frosted mini wheats.

Speaker 1 Frosted mini wheats. Frosted mini wheats.
I love frosted mini wheats.

Speaker 1 That is the that's one of the

Speaker 1 best. One of the best.
And you know what? Sometimes I'll just

Speaker 1 eat the cream off one side and throw away the wheat. Sometimes I'll just eat the cream and throw it through the wheat.
Yeah, I don't have that kind of like

Speaker 1 cream. I love cream.
It's not an artichoke. I love cream.
I'm going to half of it. Okay, anyway.
Here's another thing that I like. Here's what I don't like, though.

Speaker 1 I don't like rice krispies. Not rice, right? Rice

Speaker 1 Krispies. What? What's it? Rice.
Rice Krispie treats. Not rice, the Krispies.
Is that an iced cereal, right? Rice Krispies. Rice Krispie cereal? Yeah.
No, it is. What do you mean?

Speaker 1 You don't like Rice Krispies? No, I like the cocoa one, but I don't like that white one. Oh, that one's okay to me.
What about Lucky Charms? Oh, no, the original.

Speaker 1 Oh, I didn't know they had frosted ones. Yeah, they have frosted Krispies.
Yeah, but the original one, because you'd have to just put sugar on it. Yeah, you would.
You would have to put sugar on it.

Speaker 1 I would put two big spoonsfuls. Yeah, yeah, of sugar.
That's why my mouth is made of fucking metal.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I don't like any of the ones with the, like, that fucked up marshmallows that it comes with. Like, you don't like Lucky Charmie.
Lucky Charmie. I don't like it.
You like that?

Speaker 1 They're magically delicious. I know they are.
Yeah, my people made that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I make dividends every time somebody buys a box of that stuff.

Speaker 1 Do you know they have to give to a redhead every time?

Speaker 1 We get a nickel every time you're in the bottom of the bottom. You deserve a box because you don't get much in life.

Speaker 1 Let me ask you this.

Speaker 1 Speaking of oats. In terms of oatmeal, do you eat oatmeal? I eat overnight oats.
I like that a lot. But do you, when you have oatmeal, do you know? I don't know what over.
What's overnight?

Speaker 1 Overnight oats is like. Is it mushy? Yeah, it's pretty mushy.
Oh, it's the one that cooks. I have had those.
Yeah, you know. They're pretty good.
On the

Speaker 1 cold sometimes. They're always cold.
They're always out of the fridge. With berries.
Yeah. Yeah, look at that.
Those are cool. Right.
But you don't do hot oatmeal?

Speaker 1 Sometimes, but pretty rarely because steel cut. Steel cut is the only one to get.
Yeah, it's the only one to get. You know where that comes from.
Ireland. That's right.
You're young.

Speaker 1 You guys do good stuff. We do.
Dynamite and fucking steel cut. Dynamite.
Steel cut.

Speaker 1 Whiskey.

Speaker 1 Burbon whiskey. Bourbon.

Speaker 1 And Conor McGregor. The best.
The best. Who's better?

Speaker 1 And Patty. Patty.
You know Patty, the MMA fighter. NRA.

Speaker 1 IRA. IRA.
IRA. I was a better.
I was a big fan of the IRA. I love the IRA.
Not the NRA. I don't like the NRA.
Yes, you do. You're a big gun guy.
I love Charleston Heston.

Speaker 1 All right, so I like Charles and Heston, but all right, so from my cold dead hands.

Speaker 1 That guy, man, rest in peace.

Speaker 1 But if you would have known,

Speaker 1 thank you for being a bad friend.