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Hey, bad friends, come see me live this weekend. I'm playing Los Angeles.
I'm doing my hour for the Netflix festival here in Los Angeles. Go to andrewsantino.com for the tickets.
Then I'm going to be going to Vancouver and Tahoe, Montclair, New Jersey, and Niagara Falls. Only a couple of dates left to come see me.
But this weekend, bad friends, come see me. Los Angeles, downtown the Palace Theater on Saturday, May 7th.
andrewsantino.com for the tickets. andrewsantino.com for them tickets.
You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting. You two are something.
We're bad friends. Let's welcome Bobby back from Oklahoma.
We did it. We did it.
So I shout out to Craig Drinkin' Water. Craig Drinky Water.
Yeah, Drink Water No, Deer and Water Deer Water? You texted me, you don't know the name I do know, Craig Deer and Water Craig Deer in Water Yeah, Deer and Water The Redcorn Family Shout out to the the Redcorn. Shout out to Sterling all the gang over there.
Were the Yellowcorn boys there? I never met the Yellowcorn. I think I'm the Yellowcorn.
You were the Yellowcorn, yeah. You are the leader.
Shout out to all the ladies at the tavern. I hung out there.
A little vague. Be more specific.
It's a restaurant. Gretel.
Bunch of people.

Shout out to all the people at Lowood and Bull in the Alley.

Shout out to not fucking the hotel.

Gretel was there?

Was Hansel there?

Hey.

I had a really good time, man.

That was a really fun time.

I was in Tulsa for two weeks shooting res dogs.

I just love that show, man. It's so good i think you look really really good and it looks fun like you look like it's a fun character it's a fun character because now i'm you know a little wild a little wild yeah a little while is a little wild now well i want to say something happy birthday whose birthday i don't know idiot well first of all let's welcome back to the show a missing element of the show the black stain on our hearts that is the most beautiful little nugget the little cocoa bean that we love yeah to bring to the show and sometimes he's busy and can't make it but he's back in black because that's his skin color.
Ladies and gentlemen, little black magic aka Doc Willis aka I don't park cars no more. Doc is in the motherfucking building.
Hey, man. Hey, Doc, you know it's summertime.
Yeah. He's wearing a sweater.
That's fucking a little sweater. I don't know how to roll like this.
You know what? You don't get sweaty? No. This ain't even a sweater.
It's like a thin t-shirt. Yeah.
Maybe the liquor kind of makes it. Does it cool your body? Yeah.
Yeah, a little bit. I ain't drinking a day though.
Yeah. On Twitter, there's a couple of women that have tweeted me and they said, in a serious way, not in a joking way, you have to be nicer to Doc.
We can't stand it. We can't stand it.
You're a bully. But they fuck.
I know. So what I'm going to do for this podcast, okay, is be mindful and be just super generous and kind to you.
I'm going to try. I'm going to give it a go because you know what? They might have a point, right? So I want to say you can wear whatever you want even though it's fucking 90 degrees outside all right you can drink whatever you want i support your alcoholism and i support um so what's this is this gonna be a christian podcast now this is this is no it's not no i'm is this gonna be a christian podcast yeah it's gonna be a christian podcast well let's pray for your how about let's all do a prayer together dear heavenly.
Dear Jesus. Dear little black Jesus.
Dear little black. Yeah, he is black.
They might have a different God. Black people? Yeah.
What? That shit's gonna be nice. No, no, no.
Right away. I'm not saying the white God is better than the black God.
But isn't it though? No. But I'd rather go to black heaven because it seems like there's better music.
And he's hotter. Yeah, yeah.
Black Jesus. Way hotter.
Way hotter. Rudy, BBC, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can you imagine? You can see Black Jesus was like one of those guys in New York who does like dips and pull-ups on the playgrounds. You've seen those videos? That's Black Jesus.
He says stuff like, yeah, man, I knew Basquiat. He did.
Black Jesus is hotter, right? I think so. Do you think Black Heaven is different than White Heaven? Do you think we're all together in the afterlife? Yeah.
You don't think it's segregated? I think it's segregated. I think it's segregated.
Where would it be? I don't think God, unless there's one God, I don't think he's going to be like, all right, guys, this is your cloud or your section no he'll let everyone hang but i think we would just kind of our angels would fly toward our group you would do what you do what people do in the real world you kind of go by the people that you know so there would be a black section of heaven there'd be a filipino section of hell heaven sorry And of course, there would be segregated groups. I don't think so.
And I would come over to the cloud and I'd go, what's going on over on your cloud? And you guys, you know, there's got to be a cookout going on up there. Okay.
And I wouldn't be invited to the cookout. The cookout.
Yeah, you'd definitely be there. I would come through.
Would he get invited to the cookout? Yeah. Well, I think, because, you know, we like.
I wouldn't come. We like Chinese food, so...
I mean, all of y'all welcome. That's all I'm saying.
Okay. Let me ask you something.
Do you know what this phrase is? Get invited to the cookout? Do you understand this phrase? Yeah, either you're not or... But do you know what it's in reference to? No.
Okay. A song? In black culture...
Yeah. Referring to someone who isn't black that gets quote-unquote invited to the cookout means you're cool with black people enough for them to go you can come to the cookout yeah i've never invited to a cookout i know i trust me i know you've never been invited you invite me to your cookout do not do this do not invite him to a fucking heaven no you don't get that you've got to do a lot of fixing down here on earth before you get invited to black.
Let me ask you something. Black angels.
Just listen. All right.
They don't fly, by the way. They chill.
There's too much bling on the wings. It's just heavy, heavy down with like a bunch of metal.
You can hear the black angels coming with all the chains knocking off each other when they fly are the wings black as well or is this the body i don't know how does that work you know what what show him the palm of your hands right now boom see what i mean yeah you see what i mean a darker tan yeah yeah well i did my 23 and me and i'm like uh 17 white that helps yeah are you anything else? I'm 77% like Congo, West Africa and then I'm 2% Asian South Asian you're 2% South Asian yeah and like 1% Latino you're more like Tiger That's where your eyes come from. That's where your eyes come from.
You know what I mean? Oh, is that? You do have squinty eyes, huh? Yeah, I got there. What are my eyes? Am I- You have big eyes.
Big round eye. Yeah, big eyes.
I'm a big round eye. Yeah.
By the way, speaking to get invited to the cookout, would either of these two get invited to the cookout? These Latinos? Of course. 100%.
They would. Every minority is invited.
You guys would be a little bit- I get invited to the cookout. Yeah, you because you.
But I'm a minority of whites. You did a movie with Kevin Hart, so you get a get over it.
Thank you. I did too, fucktard.
Oh, you did? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but he said he didn't like you.
That's true. That's true.
What would Bobby bring to the cookout? What would he bring? What would you bring? That's what I want to know. Well, you know, if you go to Chosan or Parks, any of the Korean restaurants.
Love. Love, right? Love.
What do they bring? What? To the table. That seems a little weird.
Potato salad. Oh, potato salad.
I don't like that. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
I don't like that. I'll bring potato salad.
No, no, no, no. That's like a big thing with black people.
You can't bring it. We don't like potato salad? No, no, no, no, no, no.
I don't like that. No, no, no, no.
That's like a big thing with black people. You can't bring it.
Black people don't like potato salad? No, no, no. They love potato salad.
But we argue with each other about potato salad. They make it.
You can't bring it. If you brought potato salad, they would throw it away.
Can I say this? What's that? I'll... I want to be nice, okay? No, no, no.
No, no. Come on.
Let it fly. You fucking little...
No, no. So what I'm saying is that you think that I go low grade? You don't think that I go high grade? High grade? I mean...
Last night when I came into town, right? I wanted to see my dogs. So I went to Boa Steakhouse, right? I ordered two steaks.
One for me and a $75 steak for my dogs. Okay? That's how I roll, dog.
I feel you on that. All right? So I would come to your fucking steakhouse.
But in a room full of strangers that don't know you, and you just come walking in with potato salad and it's all black people. Really? They don't have television or YouTube? They don't know who I am? Come on, man.
I mean, what's up? No, I'm just saying. They're not going to know who I am.

No credit. They never saw.
If you walked in with potato salad, it's like, shit. Shit.
Here's why. Slide that shit to the side.
He's telling you black people love potato salad. They take pride in it.
Yeah. So if you show up with something whack or mediocre, then you get uninvited to the cookout.
Okay. Now you're in jeopardy of never getting invited back.
You got to bring something more monotonous. It's funny because I imagine that me driving to a cookout in my head is going to think, this is the last cookout I'm ever going to go to.
It's just a one-time deal for me. So if they ever ask me back, fuck it.
That's what I want. You just got to be strategic.
Secondly, right, if I had a cookout, because we don't call it cookout. so if you're invited to my cookout right and you brought kimchi yeah that's the same thing but check it out right we would laugh of course of course Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho I mean? If you brought kimchi to our kukao, right? Kukao.
We would laugh. We would whisper to each other, who brought the, you know what I mean? If the kimchi was legit, we would be like, we would go, this is legit.
Yeah, but I just don't think he'd bring kimchi. What would you bring to a Korean kukao? I don't know how you would make kimchi.
Would you bake kimchi? How does kimchi made, do you think? Kimchi, I don't even know what it is. Welcome back to cooking.
Seaweed, right? You don't know what kimchi is. Seaweed? Okay, it's seaweed.
Yeah, sure. It's seaweed.
What else? Brussels sprouts? Yeah. Nuss sprouts.
Nuss sprouts. Mung bean sprouts.
Love Brussels sprouts. Nussle sprouts.
We love it. love it no no keep going so it's seaweed brussels sprouts brussels sprouts you said you said string beans or green beans what did you say no mung beans okay mung beans mung beans yeah mung bean and then how is it prepared you think the seaweed a little bit of miracle whip right yes he's he's pretty close yeah a little bit of hot sauce what kind of hot sauce tabasco or louisiana wasabi wasabi oh yeah fam now we cook yeah i don't know how yeah if you brought that i just know if we'd kick you out of our kuka.
All right? Yeah, because that's not kimchi. Can we do a kimchi? How do you make kimchi? It's cabbage, right? And then they ferment it with seasoning, right? And then they bury it for like a year.
Sometimes shorter, but it depends on how potent they want it. Yeah.
But it's definitely buried in a underground. That's pretty much what it is.
There's no mung bean or... They don't have white little sprouts in there? We've never had it.
How the fuck? What are you inventing something? Oh, you're talking about like... Yeah, yeah.
Kongnamul. So that's kongnamul.
Kongnamul is a sprout side dish that comes out To the yellow one Yeah Yeah that's not kimchi Okay Okay so what is the kimchi To the potato salad For Filipino people Kimchi Do you understand What we're saying Like kimchi is the thing That we're saying What would be brought So the Filipinos Had a barbecue What would we bring That's kind of like A customary thing That you guys eat Panc it pence it what's pence it it's like a noodle um you think i'm gonna bring noodles to your fucking but it's really good how offensive i show up with a bag of noodles no you have to cook it okay i have to cook it yeah that what's in pence it um pork oh that's good that looks or shrimp or carrots And then there's obviously there's snap peas in there. Yeah.
Is there cabbage?

You guys do

love cabbage. Yeah.

I think I would like this. This looks really good.

It is. So I could bring

Penn State. But what if I made it poorly? Wouldn't you guys

all be like, you shouldn't have showed up with it?

Yeah, we wouldn't invite you again. See?

You get one shot.

You know what I would always bring? What? You know what the go-to is for any culture. What? Liquor, booze.
That's true. Koreans, alcoholics.
That's true. Black people, you know I'm bringing some Hennessy Dog.
Oh, yeah. Filipino, beer.
You guys like beer. Big beer culture.
Big beer, yeah. For fancy, you know, Malibu.
What would you drink? Malibu, something like that? Yeah. Yeah? You bring you bring liquor if you bring booze you can't go wrong if i showed up to a korean cookout and i brought booze no one's gonna say anything right if i bring a dish it's like what the who the fuck does this guy think he is yeah i've never like i've been to people's houses for the holidays what do you bring nothing bobby i literally don't you have to bring a gift i haven't no but you from now on you must you do yeah because i went to keegan's when you go to a fucking party you have to bring a party gift no yes yeah i'm i'm with you doc hey doc doc you do i'm with you fuck yeah yeah fuck yeah i don't i don't bring a cake i don't bring a card nobody wants a cake or a card.
Nobody brings a cake or a card.

For a birthday party.

Oh, well, birthday if I know him.

See, you're the odd man out.

You don't bring anything.

You're rude.

That's me.

You don't bring nothing for people you know?

No, he barely shows up.

He was late to his own fucking birthday party this year.

And didn't even fucking stay.

You know what he did?

We threw a birthday party for this degenerate. And he fucking left before the party was over to go do a spot.
And we stayed. It was a great spot.
It wasn't what a magical night. Wow.
No. You have to bring something for people.
All right. From now on, I know.
If I invite you over to my house. Yeah.
To eat dinner, which I did. That night you came over.
I did. Yeah, but that's different than if we have a party.

If I have a party, you have to bring something.

Like you had...

If it's just you and me...

Let's backtrack here for a second.

Let me ask you a question.

Sure.

What kind of party is it?

A little get-together.

If I said, hey, I'm having people over on Saturday.

Now, let me ask you something.

You know who I am, right?

Bobby Lee.

All right.

So you know how I am.

Chinese. No, I mean, that's who I am.
back to who i am or what i am right yeah okay you know how my behavior is like my personality uh yeah annoying okay would you then expect me to bring something no but you're 50 you should know by. So I was invited to Keegan Key's birthday party.

You brought nothing.

And there was a fucking table full of presents.

Right.

And Kalilah and I just kind of zipped past the table.

We pretended we put something in it.

This is why.

We did a hand motion.

This is why you're not getting invited to stuff.

This is why.

You complained earlier before the show.

This is why.

Interesting.

I guess you're right.

I apologize. You got to give gifts.
All right. All right.
Let me just say something. Let me finish what I'm going to fucking say.
Okay. I'm so sorry.
Okay. Thank you.
From now on for any cookout, right? For anything that I'm invited to, I'm going to bring something. It's not that I don't want to.
Like I'm not, I'm a generous person. I'm not generous.
generous you can be i'm generous in a certain way like in terms of like if we go to a meal i always pay generally okay let's stop there stop the reason you do that is so i don't have to bring the birthday fucking correct but you know that's why i do things like that so i don't have to do these other things you pay because you don't want to deal with the money thing you just want to go here and I want to leave that's more self-serving no no stop no that's not true it's from my heart no it's pure from my heart it's not the second thing I do is and ask anybody right at the comedy store right I was I always I always loan people money that's a bad idea I'm just saying I was always the guy right did I loan you money you didn't loan it to me you gave it to me yeah yeah so I give money. That's a bad idea.
I'm just saying, I was always the guy, right? Did I loan you money? You didn't loan it to me. You gave it to me.
Yeah, yeah. So I give money away.
That's nice. No, that's why I give homeless people money.
Oh, okay. I'm just saying, right? Because the way you're painting me is like the selfish, like...
I don't need to paint you. You paint you.
I'm going to paint myself. Well, start painting, bud.
Yeah, yeah, like Rembrandt. I'm going to Rembrandt it out right now.
Bob Ross.

Bob Ross.

Or I'll fucking Pollock it.

I'll Jackson Pollock it.

You are kind of Pollock it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's right.

I am.

I just spray shit on canvas, dude.

And what am I?

What?

What am I?

You are Coons.

Oh, I love Coons.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love Coons.

No, no, no, no.

Relax.

Oh, I was about to say.

Jesus Christ. Yeah, Coons.
He's going to take any of those words the wrong way. Coons is a real artist.
Bring up Coons. He's a real artist.
He's really good. Yeah.
Look at some of his stuff, though. You've seen it before.
Oh, I know who he is. Yeah, he's good.
Then why did you... Were you offended by...
Yeah, because I didn't know... He just threw that out, so I didn't know that's who he was talking about.
Yeah, I know who this is. That kind of looks like me.
Yeah, yeah. That's like me in a couple years.
Yeah, yeah. You're like Jeff Koons.
You know who you're like? Who? John Baldessari. John Baldessari.
John Baldessari. John Baldessari.
Do you know who this is? John Baldessari? This guy is fucking incredible. I've heard him.
Okay, so Baldessari got famous. Oh, I know him.
I know him. He got famous.
You see these dots that he puts over? So he would take very, very like essential photos or pictures that existed in the world of social culture. Yeah.
And he put these, you remember those dots are from the store, you know, from the old like 99 cent store. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he started doing this to like really famous photos. And then he did it to his own stuff.
But there's a great little mini piece on YouTube somewhere. You got to look look for it baldassari one day got so sick of the way that the art world was you know manipulating his art or whatever you want to say or like using his so he burned all of it he literally burned wow everything he made yeah that's you you're john baldassari yeah in a beautiful way he burned it because he was like, fuck you.
The system's not fair because

a lot of people, they turn

paintings. What do you mean?

So they'll buy it from an artist or whatever

for like $50,000

and then a year later they'll go to an

auction and sell it for $8 million.

And the artist doesn't get a piece

of it.

It's a completely

backward system. But that's one argument for why nfts are are kind of logical yeah as odd as it is yeah like if if real art could be nft'd in the sense that every time it was bought and traded the artist got an original kickback that's what an nft literally is yeah so when you talk about physical art the re the the way that it doesn't have a kickback to the original artist, I think, is the problem with art, the problem with an exchange of art dealers.

That's the reason that fucking Banksy wanted to shred that art. And then ironically, it made it worth three times as much.
But it's like the artist should always get a kickback from the original thing they made. Yeah.
I don't know why they don't fucking start doing it. that make millions of dollars and there's this one guy,

I forgot his name,

but he takes animals,

puts them in formaldehyde

and sticks them just in a cage. Not a cage, but like a water tank.
Like you would see a fish tank or whatever. Right.
And $10 million. That's his art? What? Yeah.
See, I think there is a guy that does that. So he taxidermies the animal.
Yeah, and he puts it in a fucking... But is the piece that it is in, is that creative? Is it in like a...
No, it's a black... Like one of them was a goat.
I do love goats. Yeah, goats are great.
So one guy that bought it, right? He was looking at the tank one day and there was white stuff coming out of the goat's nose. Uh-huh.
Yeah. Right? Go go on and he had to drain the fucking formaldehyde and then wipe the fucking he'd like clean his own art almost like that that's it the guy i don't know about that right that's a real artist what's his name brian fuller yeah i gotta be honest with you that's it that's pretty old that's pretty beautiful i'm not gonna lie i mean that's stunning i know but how much does a horse cost in real life yeah tens of thousands like 10 grand 15 grand so that's a 15 15 grand horse right what do you think that that well first of all that's a pony all right about pony how much is a pony probably same 10 grand that's a pony 10 grand right, 10 grand.
That's a pony. 10 grand, right? To you, it's a horse stock.

To you, it's a mammoth.

Ponies have $1,000.

I think that's got to be low-balled.

Let's go a highball, $10,000 for a pony.

Okay, fine.

It's a really nice pony.

How much do you think that fucking thing is to make?

The box?

The wood, yeah.

The wood seems... A couple grand? A couple grand, right? Formaldehydehyde i don't know how much that cost i think you can get that for free right to kill the pony that's fun that's free yeah yeah that'd be free right and then how much does that painting cost or that artwork 200 million 200 fucking million dollars that's what i'm saying let's do this You have a house filled with animals.
I would kill him. You would kill him.
Put him from out of that.

How much would you get for a human? I mean, just dock with his little dick. You get life and fucking prison.
That's what you fucking get. We'll call it black man little dick.
That's what we call it. Black man floating in water little dick, right? The horse itself.
In a nice way. I love you so much.
Thank you, Susan. You're very talented.
Good title. good title what is it the horse the horse itself was called the dream and it's 4.1 million for that exact 1 million for the thing you just saw yeah exactly we got we got to start doing i know there's another piece of art how many animals are in your house seven i'm not doing no don't do our animals where the fuck are we gonna get the animals from 4.1 million million? No.
Which one? You gotta give up one. Stubbs.
No. Yeah, yeah.
Stubbs. Maybe.
No, maybe who? Throw it out there. Oh, she had it on her tongue.
Yeah, throw it up. Maybe who? You're so evil.
It's okay. It's fine.
I'm not gonna be mad. Remy? Remy.
Remy. Yeah, we have Remy.
You wanna kill Remy? Cause he's old. He's 12.
Oh, so what? Older people aren't belong? Yeah. So older people shouldn't live? No, he's just going to die, so might as well kill him now.
Is that what you're saying about Tito, Bobby? Because that's exactly it. He's going to die soon.
Might as well kill him now. Maybe.
Oh, wow. Son of a bitch.
Ship Station. Hey, I got to tell you something.
Yeah? What do we use, Bobby, to ship out our merch to our fans? ShipStation, baby. You better believe it.
If you run an e-commerce business, Andrew, you probably feel like it's about time people stop treating an e-commerce giant better just because they're bigger. And you're absolutely right.
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ShipStation can handle it, my friend. ShipStation works with over 45 carriers.
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In fact, 98% of companies that use ShipStation for a year keep using it for as long as they're in business. And that's right.
We use ShipStation. We love it.
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Where do they go, Bob? Just go to ShipStation.com, click on the microphone at the top of the page, and type in BADFRIENDS. Make ship happen.
HelloFresh. Oh, I love HelloFresh.
I get it delivered to my house. These boxes, it says HelloFresh on it.
I get super excited. With HelloFresh, you get farm fresh pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep.
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It is true. I got to tell you, I love HelloFresh.
I've been using this for a while now. And at first I was like, I don't know, because I don't love cooking.
And you might not like cooking. This is so easy.
A moron like me can do it. Yeah, I can do it.
I'm a moron. They lay it out for you.
They literally give you everything you need. All you need is like the essentials, like a pan, pot, salt, pepper, oil, stuff like that.
And they basically just lay it out detailed for you to cook an easy, delicious, and they've got really healthy options too. I think they've got like, look, seasonal recipes like salmon, lemon, and pasta primavera.
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HelloFresh has fit and wholesome recipes for satisfying and nutritious meals that you can feel good about with six recipes per week to choose from, including low calorie and carb conscious options. Hey man, go to HelloFresh.com slash BadFriends16 and use the code BadFriends16 for up to 16 free meals and three free gifts.
again. I love gifts.
That's HelloFresh.com slash bad friends 16 and use the code bad friends 16 for up to 16 free meals and three free gifts again i love gifts that's hellofresh.com slash bad friends 16 use that code bad friends 16 for up to 16 free meals and three free gifts hellofresh america's number one meal kit there's another piece of art this jewish man owns a piece of art i don't know who the artist is but it's of a little boy facing a wall it's a statue i I've seen this before. It's a little boy facing the wall.
It's a statue. Yeah.
But when you turn around, right? And it's a Jewish man that owns him. I mean, it's incredible.
That's it. That's it.
So from the behind, you think it's a little boy. Whoa.
Right. But when you look at the face, it's Hitler.
Isn't that cool? Oh, my God. Is that creepy? Zoom in on Hitler's face there.
Yeah. Please don't go dad.
Oh my god. 17.2 million for that.
Yeah. Wow.
Art is crazy. Doc, who are you texting? I was trying to find this artist that I was looking for.
Well, you can ask them. They got a computer up there.
Yeah, but somebody texted to me and we was going back and forth looking at the prices. What's the artist? Is it another Hitler thing? No, no, no.
I have to show you. Would you put up a statue of like Mao in your house? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you would, huh? If there are any artists out there that can make a Genghis Khan statue. Or how about Andrew Santino, Bobby Lee statueby lee statue that size from the back it's me from

the front it's you yes that's amazing if someone can make that i'm gonna make that right so from

behind it looks like a red hair it's got a little red-headed guy yeah yeah and by kneeling why are

we and also the height right so it's like the tall one has to be right look like you're like a

little and i've got to be smaller but when you turn around i'm actually i'm the tall one but

with the red hair no why it's gonna look like that i want it to be that same size

Let's go. look like and I've got to be smaller but when you turn around I'm the tall one but with the red hair.

No.

Why?

It's going to look like that.

I want it to be that.

Same size?

Well I don't know if I like it kneeling.

Something about that

is very strange.

Yeah yeah.

I kind of like it.

But somebody's going to

spend three years

working on that.

So what?

Do it.

Yeah do it.

I hope we have a fan

that does that.

Yeah and we'll sell it.

And we'll sell it

and the original artist

will make all the money

and we'll take a little bit of the money. Yeah 15 15 15 or 20 25 and the and the and the rest 75 25 how about that the artist gets 75 we'll get 25 and we'll auction it off on the show if you can make a little statue from the back it looks like me from the front it looks like bobby yeah but i gotta tell you it's gotta be high quality by the way talk about empowerment yeah to have a As a a jewish man i guess i understand that's that that is like the powerful like yeah i own you you little fucking bitch do you know what i mean i think that's what it means it's like diminutive he's bowing to you a little bit he's kneeling yeah he's praying for your hope for forgiveness so you won't kill him i think if you were jewish you'd own this thing just to fucking lord over a piece of shit yeah it would make would make sense.
Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. But the thing with Jackson, you don't like it.
Nah, just buying some fucking apocalyptic type shit like that. That's just weird.
Okay. Let me say this.
What if a black art collector, a very wealthy black art collector had a statue of a slave owner on his knees like that, like begging for you to not, do you think, would would be strange i don't want him in my house yeah but don't you think that that would be sending a powerful message to people that come to your house that that you've taken back control over someone that controlled you no i don't think it would mean anything all right well maybe you're not an art guy but you're not an art guy yeah i guess so yeah i don't because i can't see myself having something like that you know i'm saying like what about when my family come over what they're gonna be like man that's what i'm talking about had a white man on his knees that's hell yeah what you just said it sounds like something someone would say and they're gonna be like yo how much is that you're gonna go it's worth 19 million dollars and they're like hell yeah you own the white man yeah bitch it's an investment right and probably the originally that thing was probably somebody bought it for like $500,000. Yeah, yeah.
Right? And through time, it's an investment. It's just worth millions.
These things just fucking go up. You wouldn't want a little white slave over on his knees in your foyer when people walk in? I mean, it's just worth some money, yeah.
Can you imagine? And then you put your keys on his little head, little slave owner's head. When you walk in, you put your Ferrari key on his little head.
Hell yeah.

Now you're getting coming around to it. Hell yeah, yeah.

Because then black success is saying,

fuck you to the little white man

when you walk in your huge house.

Do you see?

Do you get it now?

Yeah, yeah, I get it.

That's why this person owns the Hitler.

There are certain arts that I know that I could have done.

Like in the 60s,

I was going to name Larry Poonz.

He's a talented guy,

but you know what I mean?

I think Jeff Koons has an orb. What do you mean? It's just like a blue orb that's worth millions of dollars.
Correct. Yeah, it is, right? Yeah.
Me and his girl was talking about this. What? What is that? This is like a pot that he was selling.
It was like 25 grand. Yeah.
How much is the orb? He makes a lot of money just... That orb is stunning, though.
I know, but I could... Don't you think, Jules, you think you and i can make an orb that's kind of boring thank you let me tell you something yeah how about an assignment over the week you guys bring in a fucking blue orb that's even remotely beautiful to any degree yeah and i'll and we'll see if we can how much is a blue orb how much is jeff coons's blue orb yeah The other things are going for over $50 million.
$58.4 million. Yeah.
What? A blue orb. A blue orb is worth $50 million.
Well, yeah. Larry Poon's back in the 60s used to put little kind of dots on canvas.
Look up Larry Poon's. Jeff Koons' rabbit fetcheded 91 million.
God damn, he is killing it. Yeah, man.
Larry Poon's early work. Thank you.
I gotta tell you something, though. Yeah, the little dots right there.
The red one. The red one.
That right there. It's stunning.
It is stunning. But that right there is worth millions of dollars.
Because there's a lot of messages in there. There's no message in it, man.
Dots. Let me analyze it.
Analyze it. Oh, eight dots.
Oh my God. Now I know what it means.
What does it mean? Don't you know what the number eight means? Yeah. Google the meaning of the number eight.
Watch this. This is going to blow your mind.
Meaning of the number eight. Watch.
Significance of the number eight should not be overlooked. of the number eight watch this this is going to blow your mind meaning of the number eight watch significance of the number eight should not be overlooked professionalism material freedom affluence and self-confidence are all related to number eight numerology that's not all many numerologists believe that the number eight is associated with compassion freedom self-reliance okay go back to the painting go back to number seven let's see what the number seven means look at that go look see what the number seven means every number has a fucking Let's see what the number seven means.
Every number has a fucking meaning. No, it doesn't.
Yeah, yeah. A powerful number.
Inner wisdom, self-awareness, intuition. Oh, so hey, Jules, he did eight.
Let's do seven. You can do seven thoughts? You know what I'm going to do? What? Do the meaning of the number four.
Yeah. Watch this.
You're just going to blow your fucking mind. Look at this.
Self-expression and self-fulfillment. Yeah.
Okay. You do four then then What does Doc do? What? What is the meaning of the number zero? Hey, that's completeness Zero's completeness Spiritual standpoint Zero's the standing point From which other numbers are created Zero is the sign of eternity Evolution and infinity Since it looks like a circle So you know what, Doc? You are the infinite Of this show Of this show infinite.
I feel that. Is that beautiful? Yep, sure is.
What kind of art do you think you would make with infinite? I'd probably make a- Now, don't say a little statue of Hitler because now- Yeah, yeah. You said you didn't like it.
I would make a statue of an elephant. What does an elephant mean to you yeah elephant is is memory uh massiveness okay you know uh they're like good luck charm for indian people so it's you know go ahead and explain i don't know much about it but i know that hindu people love elephants indian people are hindu people pretty much the same pretty much all of it is asia so so all of the asians there are all of them yeah never seen an elephant in korea you've never seen is there is there an elephant in the philippines no no well they're not allowed they can't swim well they're just too big oh yeah that's true too big so you're saying there's no elephants in korea walking around naturally no oh no maybe in a zoo okay yeah what do you mean there's no elephants walking around anywhere other than africa naturally and india i don't know if they walk freely do they they do in india they do well they kill people all the time in india we know that see if there's elephants walk freely no no they do do you know they trample people in india all the time yeah don't you think it's wild to get trampled to death? That's one of the worst ways to die.

Sheer weight crushing you?

Yeah.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Sheer weight, just heavy.

Look at that.

500 people's deaths were caused by elephants.

Oh my God.

Which is funny because...

How did your dad die?

Elephant.

By elephant?

Yeah, I brought one

into the fucking home.

Can you imagine your dad,

they were like,

he's gonna live.

He brought a pet elephant.

The reason why I'll never get...

Thank you. Elephants, I feel like you could see it maybe from a half a mile away.
But when they're running at you, you can't get away from them. They're too fast and too big.
Oh, so basically, I'm in the Tundra. Elephants can run like fucking 30 miles an hour.
Get the fuck, I googled it. African bush elephant can run 25 miles an hour.
God damn. 25.
You can run six max. That's fine.

But imagine you're out there.

You're in India.

And you see a dot in the distance.

Right?

And you and I are like.

What is that?

Is that?

It's just a dot.

It's a barrage.

It's a barrage.

Yeah, we're thirsty.

We've been walking all day.

Maybe it's like the sun in your eyes.

Maybe it's like a little.

Is that getting bigger?

Is that getting bigger?

It's getting bigger.

It's fine.

Oh, no.

The ground is shaking a little bit.

It's shaking.

It's fine.

I think it's okay.

No, because it's like the sun in your eyes. Maybe it's like a little.
Is that getting bigger? Is that getting bigger? It's getting bigger. It's fine.

Oh, no.

The ground is shaking a little bit.

It's shaking.

It's fine.

I think it's okay.

No, because it's, you know.

And then we're dead.

Yeah, yeah. That's how fast it will kill us.

You think.

I don't think.

You would have no time.

I don't think it goes from little dot to.

25 miles an hour.

Yeah.

It just.

I know.

So fast.

Can I just say this?

Over the years.

And you may disagree with me. I've learned a little move called dodge.
Dodge? Yeah, yeah. What is that? Just through the years, you may not have this ability, right? But I have a dodging.
It's just an instinctual thing to just move out of the way. You think you're quick enough to dodge a fucking elephant yeah let me answer this right you think they're you think they're like a race this thing's coming at you 25.
You're fucked. If elephants flew it was that fast, it would just be the number one killer of anything on planet Earth.
You son of a bitch. It would just be, they would be a star.
You would kick them off the face of the planet. There's no fucking way.
That was so fucking funny. All right, fuck you, dude.
No. Because think of think of this right they're not like a race car right you know i mean i i think once you dodge they have this ability they don't have this ability to turn around really quickly okay good do man getting chased by elephant and i'll show you what you're gonna look like elephant chasing human due to foolish activity and here's the problem i don't do foolish activities in front of elephants that you know of no because here's the problem all right if they have their babies they're really crazy protective and if they've got babies they're gonna fucking kill you if you're anywhere near it look at that oh you're fucked and that elephant's chilling he's not even running fast oh he falls oh not the movie fall see see oh there's bobby trying to dodge oh where are you going Yeah.
now he went the other way still alive cause they're shooting at him he's still alive they're shooting at him he's lucky that they were shooting and throwing stuff at him oh okay how about this the next bad friends trip we're taking is to Africa and we're going and I'm gonna make you outrun an elephant bro I'm gonna make you so please donate to Bad Friends Go To Africa ask Orney adams ask ian back okay what i went to south africa with them and we did a safari okay i saw the elephant okay okay and let me tell you this right now they were so far away and i'm not doing i'm not like that guy you know i mean things, man. I'm not showcasing or anything in front of them, right?

They don't even know I'm there.

That's how far away I am.

So when I went to South Africa and I did two months of shows there,

they said to me, listen, Asians are third-class citizens.

I agree.

And I go, okay.

And they go, just let you know.

We would do a meet and greet. And I know I would kill every show, right? Of course.
No one said. They would come to every comic and go, you're funny, you're funny.
They would look at me and not even look at me, say anything. No.
I swear to God. White people and black people? Everyone.
No one said, good job. You know what I mean? And then check this out.
I judged a local comedy show there.

I was like the celebrity judge or whatever.

And the guy that won, I walked out to him after his performance, after the show was over.

And I was with my girlfriend, Christine Pertillo at the time.

And I tapped on the shoulder.

I go, hey, man, I just want you to let you know you fucking you fucking killed it dude and he just turned around and started talking to the other guy wow yeah how did that make you feel like a third class citizen no I went I tried to ask Christine I tried to go get back to my judges because to remove his win yeah I wanted to change the number I'm so vindictive I wanted to change the number because we hadn had. But was he the best? Yeah, he was.
He was. Yeah, but.
White guy? Black guy? Black guy. Black guy.
And then I complained. Like an asshole.
You complained that he won? No, I went. God, this fucking asshole.
You know what I mean? I fucking go say hi and say congratulations. He doesn't even look at me, right? And so he came to me.
Because the winner got to do our show. Oh, that night?

No, like a week later.

Okay.

So he shows up in a suit.

Oh.

And he's like, and Trevor knows everyone was there.

And he comes up to me and goes, hey, I just want to let you know that I got, nah, dude.

What?

He tried to make up for what happened.

Nah.

You wouldn't let him?

No.

No redemption?

No.

One and done with Bobby Lee?

No.

Really?

Yeah.

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You will not take these things off, I promise you. Do you want to say to him, now he's a successful comic, he's on a very popular podcast now.
What was his name? Fakako. Fakako? Well, here's Fakako.
Fakako, please tell him how you feel after all these years. You know, I've always hated you.
Okay. What happened to your accent? What's my accent? You're South African.
Oh, okay. Bobby, I...
Was it good? Keep going. I like that.
Bobby, you're a good guy. Maybe to your brother.

Stop.

You're like Idi Amin.

It sounds very-

What is that?

Are you Native American?

I don't know.

I can't even do accents.

Are you smoking blood diamonds?

Let me tell you.

Whenever y'all ask me to do an accent, I can only do Doc Wallace.

No, I like it.

I like that accent.

Keep it that.

All right.

Hint, hint, Doc.

That's why we make you do it.

To make me fucking look stupid.

Okay.

No, not stupid.

Not stupid.

Not stupid.

Not stupid.

Go ahead.

All right. hint hint doc that's why we make you do it to make me fucking look stupid okay no not stupid go ahead fuck fuck walk fuck walk well I'm gonna say something about you you are you are special okay thank you you have a heart of gold thank you and you can kiss my ass I bought that.
Okay. Oh, thank you.
You have a heart of gold. Thank you.
And you can kiss my ass about that. Oh, he didn't like you? See, after all this time.
Yeah, I never liked you. Yeah, you went one way and then went the other way.
I never liked you. Okay.
Are you Irish? I've never liked you. He did a little Idris Alba there too.
A little Idris Alba, yeah. Very good.
Can we get you, would you be cool with us getting like an acting coach or something like that with you? Like a voice coach maybe. Voice coach.
I think you can act. I think you can act, right? Okay, a dialect coach.
I had an acting class with Steven Snyder. Who was the teacher? Steven Snyder.
Oh, I don't even know who that is. Am I stupid? I don't know.
Did you ever take acting class? Have you seen my work? No. Fucking terrible.
No, I never took an acting class. I took...
I took Brian Reed for a while. I took...
I never did. Laura Henry, Meisner technique.
I did that for a year. I thought about trying to do one.
Leslie Kahn is very big here in Los Angeles. Yeah.
She's very famous. Have you done Meisner because they do – have you done repetition? Well, I did performance technique in college.
Do you know what repetition is? Yeah. Where I say, you have a nice black hat.
You have a nice black hat. I have a nice black hat.
I have a nice black hat. I have a nice black hat.
I have a nice black hat. I have a nice black hat.
I have a nice black hat. I have a nice black hat.
And they just do, I don't know what, what's the point of it? To change inflection and all that stuff? Yeah. Because you can say things the same way differently.
Like watch. Yeah.
I love Bobby Lee. You love Bobby Lee? I love Bobby Lee.
You love Bobby Lee. I love Bobby Lee.
You love Bobby Lee. I love Bobby Lee.
You love Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee.
You love Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee.
Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee.
Mm. Mm.
Mm. But imagine you spend $400 a week.
Doing that. Doing that.
You gave the guy the lady money. And you're sitting there with a white dude, a handsome white dude from like, you know what I mean? Who does that? Virginia, some kid that just moved out there.
And you're doing that for an hour. And you're like, that's $400.
Back then also, I had no money. No money.
Yeah, so it's like, I just spent half my money doing this. And once you go home, you're trying to think, am I just too dumb to know why that worked? Or did I just really get fucking ripped off for $400? You did.
Yeah, you got ripped off. Because then you actually go to a set and you don't use...
It doesn't exist. It doesn't exist.
No, you just do whatever you need to do. Just say your line! Yeah.
You know what I mean? You're acting. Just say your line.
I want to say something real. Yeah.

I want to say something about your boy, David Cho, who I love to death. He's the best.
His performance on this thing. Beef.
I think he's, dude, it's going to, look, I don't know anything, but he is so good. Yeah, he's a natural.
No, I mean, so there's some scenes where I'm like, he's incredible. I don't like to do that thing, but something about, I think he'll get recognized for this work.
Oh, I'm sure he will. It's very, very good.
It's a big show, dude. Congratulations.
I'm not. I know, but you're a part of it.
Congratulations. Not really.
Yeah, you are. Half of the scenes, you don't see my face.
Yeah, you're fine. I'm not going to reveal why, but one day I showed was like i was like why am i here two days two hours early yeah she's like hair and makeup i'm like you don't see my fucking head yeah i'm not even in the thing you don't see me you know what i did in reservation dogs they we had a club scene and they're like a nightclub yeah nightclub where everyone's dancing and i'm just dancing right and i'm like where's the camera like i'm kind of like where's the camera that way over there they can't see you yeah and i go okay but i have to be here yeah they see you right okay they go action i lay on my back and i'm just on my phone playing tetris right for like two hours yeah and then i got up and they're like, okay, we're moving on.
Didn't see you. Liars.
Liars. Liars.
Fucking liars. But, but you're a giver and you will participate.
And I participated. You did a good job.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to tell you something.
I sent fancy this. This is how deep our show stretches.
Show them that video. So I got sent, Andrew Schultz sent me this video that's online.
A guy a tow truck driver and people are recording you did and he's look at that look everyone look in the corner there what he's watching a little bit of bad friends if you start the video again you can see he's watching bad friends up planted again look at that look at that isn't that fucking great yeah and this guy is driving you know if you keep going, you can see there's another angle. Look at it.

He's towing this car and he must have not hitched it right.

Yeah.

But holy shit.

Look at that.

Yeah.

That is a bad Friends fan if I've ever seen one.

What's great of our show?

Fuck in that car.

You can do things like that and still participate.

That's right.

That's a great fan.

We love that guy.

Whoever he is, I hope he reaches out to us.

When you're in the warehouse at Amazon, do you listen to our show?

No.

Okay.

I'm insane.

Have you ever heard our show?

You know, little bits here and there.

Clips, you mean.

Yeah, clips.

You're on YouTube.

Because on YouTube, yeah, they show a little bit here and there.

But you never listen to it?

No, probably. Yeah, yeah.
This is a picture I wanted to bring to light real quick not a fan this is such a pervert photo show me a more perverted angle than guy oh gross that's George I swear to fuck I thought you were doing a fucking thing. Like, look at this fucking idiot that I saw on the Internet.
I mean, those words are still real. I was looking at the hand first and the way he's holding the glass like a fucking moron.
Look at this. And I looked at the face.
I guess George. We're going to do a segment every week called Look at this fucking idiot.
Yeah. And this is week one.
Look at this idiot he posted this and i wrote why yeah yeah wait he posted it online sure did that's where i grabbed it on instagram you better believe it i cannot believe that's his post by the way yeah let's analyze this photo yeah who who the fuck is he cheersing with that thing who like who is that to what is it what is that well you know he has chickens that live there, right? I know. This is outside his house.
Yeah, so that's chicken. He's tending to the...
Oh, that's chicken juice? I don't know if that's chicken juice. Are you telling me George drinks chicken juice? No, no.
He's toasting to a chicken. Oh, that makes sense.
That's what I meant. So the chicken's like...
Yeah, and he's like... Bonjour.
Bonjour, chicken. Yeah, yeah.
Bonjour, chicken. George has chickens? Yeah.
Yeah. What for? He's a farmer and shit? What is he? Yeah, he's from the farm.
He's a farmer. He's a farm boy.
Oh, shit, I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah.
He's also white. Whites are allowed to have all these weird things and nobody can question it.
That is goddamn true. If you watch the Dodo bird, right? Do you ever watch Dodo on YouTube? Never.
It's a series. It's Dodo animals.
And so sometimes it's like dodo bird it's a show no

it's called dodo dodo i've never seen this before right there the dodo oh i've seen all animals right but it's like whenever it's like you know a white it's always a white family that has the squirrel or a raccoon yeah or you know or a marsupial they're saving right it's never like a Korean going,

Look,

I found a baby squirrel

outside my front door

and I put... or since they're a marsupial, they're saving.
It's never like a Korean going, look, I found a baby squirrel outside my front door

and I put, you know, I tend to it.

No, it's like, no, it's in the fucking kimchi chicken.

You know what I mean?

There's no way.

There's no way.

Well, they're not going to show off their meal.

Are you going to get off of Twitter now that Elon Musk owns it? you know people are protesting and they're trying to get the fuck off Twitter I don't know what so politically is he right is he what correct right or left in terms of political I think he's pretty central I think he's probably kind of a just as long as he doesn't like you know he's a pretty central character as far as I'm concerned you think he'll bring Trump back back and let Trump have his. Well, first of all, Trump publicly said he doesn't want to be back on Twitter.
So. Oh, yeah.
Because he has the truth on. Yeah.
His own thing. He's promoting.
It's a business. But like Taylor Marjorie Greene wants to be, get her fucking personal account reinstated.
Sure. You think he'll do that? Probably.
Yeah. I think everyone should be able to be on there.
Dude, that's where all my heartache is, Twitter. So I never look at it.
It's gross. It's disgusting.
My biggest beef. It'll ruin my day.
But don't you think everyone should be allowed to be on Twitter? Yeah. I don't understand.
Like who gets to decide what's fucking, what's good to put out to the world? There's so much bullshit on there. The weird thing to me about kicking Trump off Twitter was even if you fucking hated Trump more than anything in the world.
Okay? Yeah. You hate Trump.
Fine. I understand.
There's fucking porno on there. There's girls spreading their asshole.
My little kid can scroll and watch a girl farting cum out of her butthole on Twitter, but you don't want this psycho on there? What's the difference? They're both fucking insane. Is the girl farting cum starting an insurrection? She might be.
Maybe she's Maybe she's saying, maybe she's saying, you know, February 9th, let's go, let's go fart cum on the Capitol. I think that's the one cool thing that's happened over the last, the culture shift.
Yeah. In what regard? What do you mean? Just LGBT and all that stuff.
What do you, what do you like about it? I don't know. I just like the voiceless having a voice okay yeah and being seen okay well there's some woke parts of me i know that everything slept no but i understand but i'm lost over what you mean what do you mean sounds so phony no you don't believe it i don't believe what don't you believe you think he's saying that because he's pandering? Yeah.
Just let me ask you something. Hey, let me ask you something, pal.
Let me dance. Hey, let me ask you something, pal.
You think I'm a panderer? A little bit. Okay.
In what way? Is that the only answer? Well, for this particular situation. Yeah.
You just saw the pictures and then what? You just got rainbow happiness all in your heart. No.
No. No, because there was a documentary called The Case on Prop 8, right? And I've seen that documentary 15 times.
I love, you know. You count it? What? You actually count.
Yeah, I've seen it a lot of times. The Hollingsworth vs.
Perry. That's a great documentary.
It's on HBO. It's a great book.
Yeah. And I cry every time I see that documentary.
Okay. Okay.
Okay. But he's asking, he still thinks that.
No, but what I don't like is that he thinks that I don't, he thinks that the pandering thing, and I'm not arguing with you, I'm just stating my case. Okay.
Is that I'm obsessed with, if you look at my documentary on my Apple TV, I think most of them are gay documentaries okay about the right their rights and about their struggles and whatnot and I really resent that you said that I still don't believe you it's like a fucking it's not there it's ask me why you give Tommy why you don't believe it. I've never heard you talk about the gay struggle and like, oh, I want to, until now.
You know what I'm saying? It's funny. It's just like new.
You know what I mean? There's a lot of things that people don't know. You know how some people switch teams.
They go, oh, you know what? I ain't a Laker tomorrow. I'm a Clipper.
That's like his. Oh, you're saying he's switching sides because it's.
Oh, you're just jumping around. DeSantis.
Yeah, you're just jumping around. DeSantis.
Don't say gay. He said you're a bandwagon gay fan.
You jumped on the gay wagon. You jumped on the gay wagon.
And you probably jumped on the Proud Boys in the Little Wild. That's how Bob is.
Are you jumping on the gay bandwagon? Just hopping from wagon to wagon. You're just jumping on all these wagons.
That's what he's doing. Are you BLM? Are you jumping on all these wagons are you BLM are you jumping on that wagon too are you jumping on the Black Lives Matter movement wagon here's the thing I see this a lot the thing is this because when I'm angry I have to go back to my original I do like when we trap you in the thing that you have to wiggle out of.
I'm talking about, I'm going to wiggle out of you. You're a mouse that we put in a little maze.
What I don't like is when I'm, like, when I was in, just hear me out, when I was in Oklahoma, right, I was talking to somebody and they were like, oh, I have seven animals. And they go, oh, that's weird.
You don't seem like somebody that, just throughout the years I've seen you on television things, just don't seem like somebody that likes animals. years I've seen you on television things just don't seem like somebody that likes animals when I'm just obsessed with them.

Right.

There's a lot of things that I'm like in terms of the reason why BLM is happening, like in terms of the atrocities that happen between, you know, the police and, you know, black people.

Do you believe that?

From Trayvon Martin to, you know.

You believe him?

It's good.

He's good.

It's pretty good right now.

Are things that I'm obsessed with.

I follow the trials.

And anything that's oppressive, you know what I mean?

I just don't like oppression and authority, right?

And I'm fully against it because I'm a kid from trauma.

And my dad was like that.

My dad was abusive and controlling. And I that's why i hate trump you know i mean i just don't like any of that and i fight against it so yeah um when i see gay people kissing in the middle street it makes me feel happy okay what does it do to you doc you get an erection that's why you attacked me.
And I believe this.

I believe that you're gay.

You believe that I'm gay.

Yeah, because you have a family, a history of gayness, right?

And I think that you're the serial killer.

I think you killed your own uncles.

You think he killed his own uncles?

Yeah, yeah.

That's my theory, pal.

So you go against me.

I go against you as well.

Wait a minute.

Is this? You're on to something. So you go against me, I go against you as well.
Wait a minute.

You're on to something.

I'm sorry.

You know what?

You're a nice guy.

I want to be mindful and I want to be nice to you.

You can criticize me all you want.

I'm not defensive and let's just move on.

Let's just move on.

Yeah, yeah.

Let's just move on.

Y'all want to move on to some men in black shit?

Some what?

Men in black type shit.

Yeah. Yeah, let's do this shit.
All right. Go ahead.
Play the video. Now trip off this.
Cue it up. Trip off this.
This is what's going on. All right.
So. I was watching this video, right? And usually I watch these alien shit.
And I'll be like, man, this shit is fake. And I can't get through it.
It's like, but I try to collect information. Yeah.
So I go to work the next day. Girl asked me, hey, can you show me the files for the pregnancies? I said, yeah, I'll show you right quick.
So I showed her the files and I said, let me read a little bit. I'm reading the fucking files.
And the fucking files matched the fucking video that I was watching. Check this shit out.
This shit is good shit. Play the clip.
Play the clip. Stop for a second.
Can you stop for a second? What files? Remember we the the files about the alien pregnancies the unknown pregnancies on earth we did that on the show a little bit ago he's saying he was reading these files but where i i just i forget just uh re-educate me about what did he bring in legitimate files no no the pdf it's right here it's a pdf it's from the defense intelligence agency and basically the dia says that there there was aliens that came here there's proof and there might have been some pregnancies okay i remember now okay that's on page 24 if you want to scroll down my god now so let's see the fucking video. Watch the video.
So the video you're...

Okay.

I'm watching this shit.

And what happened was that

he came home one night,

went into his bedroom,

and suddenly these three dark,

shadowy figures

materialized through his wall

into his bedroom.

They were wearing the hats

and the overcoats.

They had glowing eyes.

Let's stop there. Scary.
Okay. That's in the PDF.
Watch. Hold up.
Hold up. Now play, finish playing the rest of that.
Let's talk about it. Moment to moment.
Let's talk about it. Can we just do that? Okay.
So if you walk in your house and three black figures appear. Hold on to page number 27.
Well, they're also dressed like 1950s PI. So there's the pregnancies right there.
See in 24? See it's an unaccountable pregnancy right there? Uh-huh. Okay, now.
Okay. Go down to 27 because remember they said the three black spheres that came through.
Yeah. So right here they classify anomalies at the bottom.
Yeah. For the type of anomalies that people deal with.
So we need your motor morph right now. You know, can you read those lines? Anomalies which have no lasting physical effects, i.e.
amorphous lights, can you read those lines anomalies which have no lasting physical effects i.e. amorphous lights unexplained explosions anomalies which which do have lasting physical effects poltergeist materialized objects areas of flattened grass corn circles anomalies which have associated entities ghosts yetis spirits elves and other mythical legendary entities witnesses interaction with the an3 entities near-death experiences religiousBEs, out-of-body experiences, anomalies, report of injuries and deaths, i.e.
SHC, spontaneous human combustion, unexplained wounds, as well as permanent healing that results from a paranormal experience. This is, what the fuck? So this is how they categorize the anomalies that people have seen and been.
And this is from the DIA. This is a DIA.
This is from the Pentagon. These are testimonies from witnesses telling these people this, right? There's no proof of it.
There's no proof. Wait! We're going to get to the good shit.
Now play the rest of the video right quick. Now watch this.
According to Bender, the three entities... According to Bender.
Who's Bender?

The guy that's talking about the fucking thing?

The guy that they're talking about.

Yeah, so he's saying that.

According to him.

Yeah, according to him.

Yeah, I can say all kinds of shit according to me.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

In the Johnny Jep trial, they kept using the word hearsay.

This is all hearsay.

It's all hearsay.

All right, let's go.

Hearsay.

Warning to discontinue his UFO research and stop publishing his influential magazine the space review afterwards he became ill and didn't eat for three days after this experience bender was repeatedly visited he said they gave him headaches they controlled him telepathically and he ultimately gave up his ufo researches Okay,'s it right there cut it off now see what he said they instilled fear telepathically and was giving him headaches right now yeah go back to the goddamn documents and go up to page number four we need your mouth on this one again god damn now watch this page number four four the Four. Did you memorize the document?

There we go.

Now go right there.

Read at the bottom where it say examples, Tino.

Examples of systems in the INSCOM analysis described as real and potential include precisely those asserted by good observers and victims of injury consistent with near field RFEM, NIEMR, thermal infrasonic, and coherent light laser effects. Now go down to page five.
Now start at bullet point number three. Ability to instill fear secondary to above, including the use of messaging and RF carrier wave modulated intracranial voices through thermolastic expansion of intracranial spaces at five kilohertz then ability to cause frontal temporal headaches

with one with millimeter with mm waves right and then you go down a little bit more now the hit with a minute black right there see it use of pulsated microwaves to temporarily interfere with short-term spatial memory.

What?

You said...

Y'all don't...

Y'all don't y'all don't see what the fuck just happened this shit is crazy okay what bro you see this video right this is them saying what people have said to them not what's been no no no that's if you go back you got to go back and read it it's saying what what they've done scientifically and what they've diagnosed. That they've proved that this exists.
There you go. Who? The DIA.
The DIA. The Pentagon.
The Pentagon. It sounds like something that some guy told them this, but they're not.
How are you able to observe those things scientifically? What is Carlos trying to say? You would have to. Listen, the scientists would have to be there at the moment when all the shit was happening.
You know those three ghosts coming in that look like Dick Tracy? You know what I mean? I don't know why they're just like that, but they're like, you know what I mean? Yeah, they were. Yeah, and they're coming in.
Trench coats. They would have to have facilities set up, you know, made sensors, a lab technicians, people observing when that was happening.
If they weren't there, it's all hearsay after that. But here's the thing.
The video is just what I was saying is connected to that. This is the script of that video, right? That's why it's like...
They're not telling us they're two separate things. They're not two separate things.
That's just. That's just something I just saw.
Right? Yeah, yeah. And I'm saying to you, I'm going through the paperwork, and then I'm reading that, and I'm like, oh, shit.
How do you think that the fucking YouTube people even got this information from this? You don't think you're the only one that has access to this, Doc? This been out before that. Guy.
What has got it? These papers have just been released. Right.
But they've had these papers had these papers probably right no oh so some guy just came up with these papers two weeks ago let me see here the pentagon just released these right but they had them classified in some file that's been there forever right right so you're saying it just leaked out into no no but i don't i i have no idea i don't know who knows't know the fucking back... Right? Go up to the top of this document.
Rudy, what do you think about all this stuff? I think it's just bullshit. Thank you, Rudy.
And now you get to stay in the house. Doc, you also had a headache when you came in here.
I still do. Yeah.
Do you think you're imagining the headache? Because of the... Oh, so now y'all want to fucking turn it in.
No, no, no. He's asking a question.
I'm just wondering. No.
Do you still have a headache? Yes, okay. Okay, let me ask you, Doc.
That's why I count on the... Time out.
Wow. Have you experienced any of these things? No.
You've never been contacted by a spirit, nothing? No. Well, I've been in dreams.
And then at the comedy store, I saw a ghost. So then yes, the answer is yes.
Yeah, I would say yes. Who'd you see? Gus? No.
Have you seen Gus? Who the fuck is Gus? You've never seen Gus? No. You talking about the dude with the suit and the hat on? Yeah, yeah.
I've never seen him. I've seen him.
I've seen him. The guy? I really have.
So have I. Yeah.
We'll say it at the same time. One, two, three.
Mitzi's office. Oh.
Thank you for being a bad guy. Thank you for being a bad guy.
I saw him up in the stairwell by Mitzi's old office. Yeah, I've seen him in that area.
I saw him in the window. You know what I mean? From the top of the building looking down at me.
Yes. Upstairs.
Upstairs, yeah. Yeah, it's always upstairs.
Fuck, all of y'all saw him. I haven't seen him.
You've never seen this whole thing? But who'd you see? I saw, like, someone who looked like a thug. That was Gus.
What do you mean? No, no, this was like- He's wearing a suit. It was a guy in a mirror.
I thought it was- It was Joe Torre. Yeah, it was- It was a Torre bonus.
Guy, Joe Torre. Yeah, but I thought it was actually, like, your seat in a mirror, but it wasn't.
It was a ghost. Oh, so was he black? Yeah my ghosts white yeah it's scary it's scarier when they're black scarier when they're black yeah it's like a candy man vibe that's a good thing i like my ghosts white yeah i just i can't i can't do black ghosts yeah yeah i can't they gotta be white yeah so y'all actually there's bees flying around or whatever so y'all don't really believe what the Pentagon is saying.
No, no, no. Look, I think that document is saying what people have said.
They're documenting what people have experienced versus what they have proofed actually took place. They're just saying, here is a list of people that have described these things.
Less so than, here's proof that we know these things existed things existed right like like you can say when they've documented all the different symptoms of covid for different people and the long lasting effects for long haulers and stuff the range is insane some people say like their feet hurt or they swell more and they tingle some people say that their taste is forever changed the way that they tasting there's other scientists that say yeah but all these things can be a product of everything else in your life, right? Your diet, your sleep schedule. So this is the same way of saying, to these people, they experienced these lists of things, but we can't point to where they were, how they manifested.
Also, they have a paranormal department. They're called the X-Files.
They should watch the show. Mulder and Sc there no my point is is that you know they they also probably have you know files on paranormal things like ghosts and spirits they do and that here's what i believe i believe that all of that stuff did happen to these people but they've manifested it yeah i think the brain is so powerful that we literally manifest those realities to take place.
And so they do. So it is real.
It happened to them. But it's also unavailable for other people to access.
Do you know who Robert William Apervia is? Yeah. You do? You do, right? Right.
You know Robert William Apervia. Yeah, yeah.
Right, right. I love Robert.
So imagine him saying, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, when I was sleeping in the tent. You know what I mean? And he comes and he talks to the FBI.
Would you believe him? If he saw it, I mean, it's nothing to believe with extraterrestrials. That's the problem with everybody.
Everybody's like, this ain't Santa Claus. That's not Bigfoot.
Extraterrestrials is somebody that has the ability to get to us, but we can't get to them. real that's a that's a real why couldn't we get to them because we don't have the capability physical capabilities that they have as far as technology but here's what i'm confused about what's that why would they want to see us because they want that's the there's no logic into why people why people do that because neil degrasse tyson explained this one time that was pretty interesting like would you ever you ever try to talk to an ant? Yeah, but that's...
Would you ever try to talk to an ant? Yeah, but that's still you using your own logic on what you think. Well, we can only use our own logic.
Yes, yes. That's all we have.
But if they have another agenda, it doesn't matter what you think. No, but my point is, if you're so advanced in your species, is so unbelievably advanced,

you could never talk, speak English to an ant.

It would be literally impossible.

There's too many barriers.

We document the ants.

No, but imagine another force is so much smarter than us.

Why would it waste its time with us?

If we're the ant.

For whatever that agenda is.

Nah, see, we don't fuck with ants.

You just keep moving.

But that's just a logic that you're drawing up. Until they get in your kitchen,

and then you're like, fucking ants we what if the aliens already have us and planet earth is a human farm like we have ant farms yeah i believe that we captured ants but put them in a little thing well i gotta tell you and the ants have no idea they're just doing their business doing their work this and that what if we are just an expert like a thing that they in some aliens house this has been explored before people have thought about this yeah but also fine they're doing a great job whatever you're doing is great yeah what do we care thanks for making us a good great show yeah yeah if this was their idea yeah fuck yeah aliens yeah they're like we have to watch these guys together do a podcast all right let me tell you something i something. I love you, Doc.
Love you, too. All this shit is insane.
It's crazy. But I want you to keep exploring it and keep bringing new evidence to the show every single week.
Every week you do. Please.
Please. Because you know what? Slowly, but surely, you're cracking.
You're going to crack us. Okay, well, let's do this.
What about CFA and Difa? Okay, do you want to save that for next week?

We'll save it for next week.

Let's save it.

You come back the next episode, please.

Okay.

We'll talk about Sifa and Difa.

Okay.

We'll talk about whatever you want to talk.

All right.

Everybody has an assignment also for next week is bring something to the cookout.

Everyone has to bring something here to the cookout.

I'm going to bring you a potato salad.

Next episode will be a cookout episode. I trust you.
How potato salad you bring him kimchi okay okay we'll taste each other's shit i'll bring i'll bring potatoes and beer