Rudy Rejects a Cute Guy

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Speaker 1 Terms and conditions apply. you two are bad friends who are these two idiots

Speaker 1 white dude and an asian dude

Speaker 1 you two are disgusting

Speaker 1 really you two or something we're bad friends

Speaker 1 so friday night we were at austin moontower comedy festival and what a fun time

Speaker 1 the whole day was magical it really was it really was just doing the little what's that zing zing what's it called what's a zing zing a scooter the scooter yeah yeah the zinger cash cooler cash yeah yeah so bobby had never you'd never been on a on a on a what do we do do, bird scooters or live?

Speaker 1 I had it on my app. Of course I've done it before.
I do it, I do it when I'm in Oklahoma. Why did you act like you didn't know what you were doing? I do know what I'm doing.
I was zip-day zooting.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I was zipping zooting.
First of all, we all binged the fucking scooter, and then you just leave everybody.

Speaker 1 Did he leave everybody? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was like a half a mile down. I was like, where the fuck is everybody? You didn't want to stay with us? I'm a zoom machine.

Speaker 1 You were zip, zooming, zombing around. Zip, zip.
And then so I got Rudy's. Hers kept locking on her, which was very funny because she can't physically push it.
She's too weak. Yeah, she's way weak.

Speaker 1 So when it locks, she's like, hell, Tito Andrew, hell.

Speaker 1 She got stuck in the middle of the sky.

Speaker 2 It was my first time.

Speaker 1 I know, but it was so funny to watch. How is it a 19-year-old

Speaker 1 it's her first time on the scooter? Old losers like us, I'd been on dozens of times. Yeah, how have you never been on a bird or a lime or a? I don't go out.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 1 So, so where's

Speaker 1 there's no COVID on zip zoomers? Yeah, there's no, well, there wasn't any COVID on those things.

Speaker 1 Fucking guy here. I know, he's

Speaker 1 trying to ruin the fucking podcast. Trust me, he's doing a great job.
He's doing great. I was trying to get my zip singer in.
Sorry. Yeah, there you go.
Well, that's cut his mic off, fancy.

Speaker 1 So we zip-doomed around town around South Congress because the goal was we wanted to get Rudy Jules a pair of cowgirl boots. And Bob and I got her, I think, the dopest pair.

Speaker 1 It's got little hearts on it. Did you like it? I really like it.

Speaker 1 And we got blown up on South Congress. Everybody wanted to say hi and take a picture.
So shout out to Austin.

Speaker 1 Then we had delicious, delicious pizza. Shout out to home sliced pizza and all this.
That was the best pizza I think I've ever had. Not ever.
No, because the element. You don't expect it out of Texas.

Speaker 1 Correct. Number one,

Speaker 1 surprise. It was a psychology.
Number two, I was so hungo, hungo. We were big time hungoo.
Big, hungo, hungo. And you were like, we'll wait for the Mexican food later.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Because we went to a nice restaurant.

Speaker 1 Well, okay, yeah. Well, you raged out.
We have to talk about that. I didn't rage.
Yeah, you did. So we had the pizza, and then we, so we talked to

Speaker 1 Maddie. I called Maddie Matheson and I said, hey, because every time I'm in Austin,

Speaker 1 he's been there twice with me and I was there, and then we went out to eat, and he suggested we should go to this restaurant.

Speaker 1 Do we need to say it? We don't need to say it. I need you to say it.
It's called Suarte. Suarte.
And how does your fancy say it? How do you say it? Suarte. Suarte.
Suarte.

Speaker 1 So I had been there with Maddie. And he was like, you should go back.
You know, the chef loves you. Those guys are fans.
Meanwhile, so just let's just paint the scenario, okay?

Speaker 1 So it's Moontower Comedy Festival. A lot of Out of Towners are on town.
It's a hot restaurant, right? So they're booked to the gills. They don't have the room.

Speaker 1 But, you you know, Andrew is Hollywood and he has connections. Of course.
So he calls Maddie and goes, can you call the chef to get us a room? Right. So Maddie calls the chef.

Speaker 1 Chef's like, all right, I will make room for inside the restaurant. You're set up.
You're all good to go. You're all good to go.
We show up, right?

Speaker 1 And the hosts act as if they have no idea. And they're like, outside is the only thing.
And I was like, but we called in advance. And she said, well, I think it's only down here for five.

Speaker 1 And I said, I know, but we have one more. And no restaurant on fucking earth has a five-top and not a six-top.
It doesn't exist. Yeah, you're gonna be able to get a break.

Speaker 1 Add a fucking leg to the table. Tables are even numbers.
Two, four, six. So a five-top is sitting at a six-top table.
Like, you never go, like, hey, you get in my car. There's four people.

Speaker 1 My only car only seats three.

Speaker 1 It doesn't happen. It doesn't happen.
That's like in the restaurants.

Speaker 1 So she was a little rude to us, to be honest, be honest, because I was holding my calm and I was like, there's no way that you can get it. Well, this is exactly what I was saying.

Speaker 1 I was not being mean. Was I being mean? No, but your face turned bright red.
I mean, I am red. I turned really red.
Yeah. And you were mumbling to yourself.

Speaker 1 You too. You mumbled.
I walk away and I go, I can't fucking believe it. I mean, I saw it.
I fought.

Speaker 1 I had a fucking building on the shit. Yeah, shooting.
All that kind of stuff. I shoot up the whole block.
You came out hot. You sat next to me.
It's like, I can't fucking believe it. Should I say so?

Speaker 1 Should I call Matt? You know what I mean? I mean, you were like... I was like, well, should I call? Well, I wanted to rectify the situation because she fucked me off.

Speaker 1 She literally goes, No, so she said, she said, there is no table inside. And I said,

Speaker 1 what do you mean? I thought there wasn't. She goes, yeah, we don't.
That's not. It doesn't seat six.
I said, we can scrunch in. We have a mini person, a half person.
Yeah, yeah. She's a half person.

Speaker 1 She's so skinny and tiny. And I go, we can.
She's not even considered a human. Huh? She's not even considered a human.
Well, we already know she's a little alien. We'll get to you in a second.

Speaker 1 So then I walk outside, I'm bummed the fuck out, and I'm like, well, what are we going to do? And everybody was in a good enough mood that we said, we'll just eat outside. It's hot as fuck.

Speaker 1 It was muggy as shit. I was sweating balls.
My nuts sacked. One of my nuts was inside my butthole, literally inside my butthole, and my penis was holding onto the other nut.

Speaker 1 My penis was curled up

Speaker 1 onto my ball.

Speaker 1 The honest truth is inside, you're like, I'm Andrew Santino. No.
Just let's be honest. I didn't want to eat in.
Did you want to eat outside? I'm very humble. Oh, fuck you, Bobby.
Fuck you.

Speaker 1 You are not humble. Yes, I am.
No, you're not. Yeah, admit it.
You're like, I can't believe I'm Andrew Santino, headliner. Did I say that once, family? No, but everything's behind his mumbling.

Speaker 1 No, you read between the lines, friends. I I didn't want

Speaker 1 to eating outside. I like eating outside, but it was hot and gross.
I didn't want to be outside that night. We wanted to be inside.
Yeah, but so

Speaker 1 why are you angry?

Speaker 1 Because I want to be inside. You're Hollywood, Andrew.
No, I want to be inside. All right.
I don't want to eat outside at a fucking picnic table. Oh, so we at a fucking five-star restaurant.

Speaker 1 In the park by the fucking handicap stall.

Speaker 1 We sat in the fucking handicap stall. We're outside.

Speaker 1 Which was good for you. Do you remember what I did? And I'm not handicapped.
Yes, you are. All right.
Yes, you are. Even when you sat down.
Woo-doo.

Speaker 1 Even me, I was just like, I was the voice of reason.

Speaker 1 How am I the voice of reason? I'm the one.

Speaker 1 Listen, Andrew, Tom. I'm not, we'll just eat outside.
And you're just ranting and raving. So that's how I know there's something behind it.
I was annoyed that we couldn't eat inside.

Speaker 1 We deserve to eat inside.

Speaker 1 You know what it was? I know what it is.

Speaker 1 I don't like things that are illogical. It's not logical to say, I can seed five, but not six.
It doesn't make sense. No, I think what it is.
I saw the table.

Speaker 1 Hear me out. I saw the six tops.
Since you hooked it up, you called Maddie, right? You did all the time. I was embarrassed.
I couldn't come through. Yeah, and it was embarrassing.
It was embarrassing.

Speaker 1 You didn't have the power to get us inside. Well, no, because I didn't flex any power.
In fact, the chef saw us. You had no power.
That's why we went set outside. No, no, no.
You had no power.

Speaker 1 Timeout. No power to get out.
Timeout. That's not true because it ended up being to our advantage.
And I'll tell you why.

Speaker 1 When we went outside and we we did a thing, I didn't say anything mean to the host, but they had no idea that this reservation had been set up through the chef.

Speaker 1 So, of course, Maddie made a phone call, unbeknownst to us, because we told him what happened. We sent him photos.
I was like, thanks for the parking lot spot. Appreciate it.

Speaker 1 It's so passive-aggressive. Yeah, it was.

Speaker 1 It was. I said, thanks for the res.

Speaker 1 I love sitting by the dumpsters.

Speaker 1 I said, me and the valet took a picture. Me and the valet are going to have appetizers.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You sent that to Maddie? No, dude. Did you text him at all? Yeah, of course I did.
What did you say? I said, thanks for the reservation. No, he's not.

Speaker 1 No, no, that's not. Go ahead.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Nothing says you know the chef like sitting by the handicap star.

Speaker 1 Very good. Nothing says you know the chef like sitting in the handicap parking smile outside.
But okay, so let me say this. So I didn't make it.
I said, let's have a good night.

Speaker 1 We were with my friend Chelsea. We were all together, the bad friend's crew, and I said, we're going to have a good night.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And then one of the chef comes out. to come by and say hello because he was like, hey, man, I'm so happy that you're back.
Thanks for coming. And they started sending out a ton of shit.

Speaker 1 They sent out a fuckload of food.

Speaker 1 They sent out free shots and who took shots?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Two of them.
Two of them. Yeah.
Because I'm not drinking and so Bob's not drinking. So Bukowski over here wrote a novel in the parking lot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It was actually, she was very, she was speaking like Bordanish when she was like,

Speaker 1 nothing says sweet like a little Mexican quiota sauce spread evenly around the beef tongue as it slides its way into my belly. It was really smooth.
Did you hear her in the parking lot?

Speaker 1 She doesn't know half those. Why do I remember that? Because you were drunk.

Speaker 1 Because you were drunk, you were drunk. So then, food was amazing.
Food was so good. Suarte is so good.
So then they sent out a bunch of good food. And then in a moment of sheer panic, Bobby was like,

Speaker 1 Bobby the whole night was like, we don't need to do fucking sound check. Fuck sound check.
Thinking he's like a rapper from the 90s. He's like, we show up.
And guess what?

Speaker 1 Then in the middle of the meal, he goes,

Speaker 1 We should go do sound check. I I don't know why.
You started to get nervous. The panic came over me.
We should do sound check. We should do sound check.
Well, I'll tell you why.

Speaker 1 So you jump in a van with the whole bad friends crew and leave me there.

Speaker 1 That's true. I did.
I left you there, and I apologize. But let me see.
And they kept sending food. They kept sending.
Literally, we had fucking, they sent out

Speaker 1 prime rib. They sent out beef cheek.
They sent out more fucking dip, more quesadilla. Wow, wow.
So I boxed it up, brought it to the venue, and this fucking piece of shit goes, I don't eat leftovers.

Speaker 1 I don't. It's high-end food.
I don't eat leftovers. You said I'm hungry.
Regardless if it's McDonald's or high-end, I don't eat it in my body. It's okay.

Speaker 1 It was like a $200 steak that they gave me. I don't eat it.
I like fresh. Well, I'll say to all the fancy chefs out there, I'll eat leftovers.
That's fine.

Speaker 1 So then they rushed to do sound check and leave me there. I'm glad we did that too, because there was, you know, problems.
No problems. Was there problems? No.

Speaker 1 No, but it was like, I had to go, I had to go, how is this going to work?

Speaker 1 It's because the chairs were already out there so I'm like take the chairs out we'll bring the chairs in you know I kind of orchestrated how it was gonna work which was good because you did do a good job and when we got there the only problem was the festival had double booked Brian Simpson who we love one of our my favorite comics and Brian was gonna come do time and then Trevor it got asked by Bobby to come do some time too because Brian wasn't gonna make it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And Brian was not happy that the festival made him like come to the venue.
Then they put him in a car, took him away to do another spot. So he missed his spot for our show.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And on our show, Trevor did great time, then we did time. And then

Speaker 1 the show was great. I got to be honest.
Did you have a fun time? It was flawless. It was.
It was good. And when they said your name,

Speaker 1 you came out there. Oh, my God.
The building shook. She's petrified

Speaker 1 and she doesn't want to come out, but fuck it. All right.

Speaker 1 Rudy Jules, give her a round of applause.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 she had the best joke of the night. That's the first time afterwards she goes, I like it.
Did you really? Mm-hmm. I liked it.
Because we chanted before. We had a little chant.

Speaker 1 We said, bad friends, bomb. Bad friends, bomb.
Yeah, I remember. Because you got to shake away the bomb.
Because she was worried about bombing.

Speaker 1 But the first joke she had was probably the joke of the night. She said she looked around and goes, it's too many white people.
Yeah. And just honest.
And it crushed. It crushed.

Speaker 1 But then we turned the house lights up and there were a lot of brown. Were you surprised at how many brown there was? Yeah, there were a lot.
We get down with brown. We get down with brown.
Why am I?

Speaker 1 They just have to be fucked up internally. Well, they are.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 you can tell by the questions that came out of the audience. We have such fucked up fucked fans.
Fucked up fans. Such fucked up fans.
Two brothers that didn't even sit in the same row together.

Speaker 1 Oh, right, right. They came together and they sat 30 feet away from each other.

Speaker 1 So wait a minute. You weren't, you were sw where were where were you two supposed to sit? I wasn't supposed to come over here.

Speaker 1 You weren't supposed to come at all? I had to work tomorrow. You got to work tomorrow? I had to caught out.
You called out sick? Yes. God bless.
Where do you work? Where do you work?

Speaker 1 An hour away. Wait, tell me what it is? An hour away.
The company's called away.

Speaker 1 The company is called an hour away.

Speaker 1 Temple. Where? Temple.
Temple. Temple.
You were Jewish? No, no, no, no. She isn't Jewish at all.
Mexican. I've never seen a Mexican Jew in my life, but happy Passover.

Speaker 1 Wait a minute. So

Speaker 1 you work at a company called Temple? Yeah. And what do they do?

Speaker 1 Small town.

Speaker 1 Exactly. What do you say? Small town.

Speaker 1 Then we had a hot guy in the table. The whole Temple stuff was funny.
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dr.

Speaker 1 Drew came and did some time with us and dissected Bobby's relationship with him and addiction, which was really nice. And then afterwards, I mean, it was just a magical night.

Speaker 1 And then I didn't see you after the show. Well, you guys went to go get pizza.
And so now tell me the nightmare. It started unraveling the next day.
So here's what happened.

Speaker 1 I ended up going to, my friend Chelsea and I and her friend went to Soho House to just have dessert. Uh-huh.
Because I'm not drinking right now.

Speaker 1 So I said, I'm just going to go have a little bit of dessert and then go to bed happy in my hotel. And I did.
I had a fat ass ice cream sundae and three chocolate chip cookies.

Speaker 1 And then I went to my hotel. Yeah.
And I took a little duper pooper and I sat on TikTok for a while and laughed. Yeah.
And I rested my little head and I had such a nice day. Great.
You deserve it.

Speaker 1 Then on the next morning, I go to my little airline, my little flight, my little tiny puddle jumper plane, 37 minutes. And Emma Roberts, she was on my plane.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And the plane is only like 12 10 people it's a little tiny plane all right so Emma Roberts is that Julia Roberts daughter it's her niece what is it oh it's her brother's daughter is that what it is I have no idea ma'am I'm just guessing well that's a real good guess thank you because you sold do it again because I'm saying because Eric Roberts is an actor yes and he has a daughter as Julia Roberts's aunt that's right yeah okay correct okay so she was on my flight and I thought what a good luck charm what a good luck charm would seem like a good luck charm a cool popular actress is on my flight yeah this is gonna going to be a great day.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I get off the flight.
I unload my bags. Smooth flight? No, very, very bumpy.
But I kept staring at Emma Roberts saying, is everything okay? And she kept turning and going, yes.

Speaker 1 Which I don't know if this is the white power symbol or the okay, but that's what she kept doing to me. And so then we got into, I got into Dallas and

Speaker 1 I said immediately, I get to my hotel. I'm ready to go.
Room's not ready. But you know what? What? That's okay.

Speaker 1 Are you sure? Right now it's okay. Were you mumbling? Yeah, a little mumbling.

Speaker 1 A little mumble. All right, all right.

Speaker 1 I thought, oh, it's not. Yeah, yeah.
But I checked in on the app already on my phone.

Speaker 1 See, here's what's funny about you, and what I realized is you mumble so that other people can hear it, but it's not directed at them.

Speaker 1 Well, you tell, okay, you'd be the hotel clerk and say, Your room's not ready, Mr. Santino.
Hi, welcome to the Four Seasons. It doesn't matter.
Does it matter? Welcome to the Marriott?

Speaker 1 Sure. Okay.
Welcome to the Residence Inn. Try again.
I'll just do Residence Inn. Red Roof Inn.

Speaker 1 Welcome to the Motel 6. Thank you.
Uh-huh. I'm sorry, but

Speaker 1 your room isn't ready yet. Oh, it's not.
No, it's at 3 o'clock. It'll be ready.
And it's about 3 o'clock right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but the guest that was sedaying there is still, she's packing up now, so it's going to take us a little bit. No, that's not a big deal.
Roast beef, things like that.

Speaker 1 I already checked in on the app already. I already checked in on the fucking app.
Why would you fucking make a check-in on the fucking app?

Speaker 1 That's not a big deal. I'll just leave my bags here.
So that's what you do. So I left my bag.
Right. And then I went to my favorite area of downtown Dallas right here.

Speaker 1 I went to Deep Ellum, which is my favorite. I had one of my best days of my life in Deep Ellum.
This sounds like a great day so far. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 A year ago, I had a best day. Oh, I see.

Speaker 1 Because a year ago, I got to drive fancy cars because my buddy owns a car shop. And then I got to go to Deep Ellum and I danced my balls off with my buddy Chris O'Connor.
I remember that.

Speaker 1 And I had to. I saw the video.
So I went back to Deep Ellum. And guess what? That place that I wanted to go to closed down.
Closed down. COVID.
No, they just couldn't make it. Financially,

Speaker 1 did not survive. And so then, I said,

Speaker 1 that's okay.

Speaker 1 Hit number one. That's okay.
That's okay. So then I walked, I went to this little shop.
There's a little like skate shop. And I bought this cool hat because I was like, I like Deep Ellum.

Speaker 1 That's a cool hat. That's a cool hat.
I was like, still in a good mood. I'm going to have a good day.
I don't give a shit.

Speaker 1 Two bad things, though. Oop,

Speaker 1 settle in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So then I said, They come in threes.

Speaker 1 I know. And mine was three times three.
All right. So then I said, not a big deal.
I'm just going to get some good old Texas Texas barbecue.

Speaker 1 Great. Great idea.
Thank you. Great idea.
So I go to this barbecue place that's near there. Yeah.
And I sit down at the bar and I said, can I order here? Do I need to wait in the line?

Speaker 1 And the guy says, you can absolutely order here. No problem.
I said, wonderful. So I said, I would like the brisket.
And he said, you got it. He said, brisket plate.
I said, sure. What are the sides?

Speaker 1 I said, you pick your two favorites. He says, you got it.
Never do that.

Speaker 1 He was a hefty. He looked like he had a lot of food.
He had tried a lot. You could tell he had tried a lot of food.
He's fat. I've just said

Speaker 1 that. He looked like he had tried a lot.
I'm just trying to visualize it. Was he

Speaker 1 fat? He looked like a guy that had tried a lot of food.

Speaker 1 Okay. So anyway, I said, you pick.
He picked. Okay.
My number. Bing, 196.
You get up. And it is a pulled pork sandwich and mac and cheese.
And I was like, nope, I had a brisket plate.

Speaker 1 And she goes, no, you didn't.

Speaker 1 And then I said,

Speaker 1 I did.

Speaker 1 And I said, so let me, let me, let's, I'm the waiter.

Speaker 1 No, you you got a brisket plate.

Speaker 1 Oh, is that? Because I definitely told him I wanted a... No, I wanted the brisket plate.
It says right here on the receipt. Pulled pork.
Is that what it says on there? Brisket plate. Oh, what I mean.

Speaker 1 I mean, it says the sandwich, I mean? Yeah. Is this the sandwich? I read it wrong.
Wait, I thought you were. Did you just say that?

Speaker 1 Oh, it is. Yeah, pulled pork sandwich.
Pork backwards says brisket. And mac and cheese.
That's what it says. Okay.
Because if you do it upside down, it says, yeah. So anyway.
Oh, okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm dyslexic. Yeah, definitely.
It doesn't fucking say that. But let me go.
Okay, that's fine. So I went back to the bar and I said, hey, did you perhaps put in...
This is what I wouldn't do.

Speaker 1 You already took a $2911. I wanted brisket.
Doesn't matter. I wanted a brisket.
Brisket sandwich. No, I don't want the sandwich.
Okay. So I went back to the bar calmly and I said, hey, brother.

Speaker 1 Was it calm? Huh? Was it calm? You be the bartender. Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh, is he puking? No, I'm just. What is it? I just, I've eaten a lot.
Oh, you're stuffed. I'm just, that's just my just natural demeanor.
Ah. So I.

Speaker 1 Oh, hey.

Speaker 1 Hey, brother. Oh, hey.
Hey, remember when I was saying,

Speaker 1 I think I ordered the brisket plate and I said, you choose the fun sides. But this is a pulled pork.
You said, choose.

Speaker 1 You said choose. No, I meant the sides.
Yeah, I read two.

Speaker 1 Okay, so literally, that's exactly what happened. Exactly.
He thought I meant you choose.

Speaker 1 And, but I said, can I have the brisket plate? You choose the sides. Yeah,

Speaker 1 he chose the whole fucking thing. All right.
All right. Okay.
Okay. Okay.
I didn't want this. All right.
Fine. So, of course, he goes, all right, I'll put it in for you.

Speaker 1 And then I said, could I get the lean brisket? There were two choices. Here we go.

Speaker 1 We're out of lean brisket. Of course.
I said, no problem.

Speaker 1 No problem.

Speaker 1 No problem.

Speaker 1 No problem.

Speaker 1 So 25 minutes later, I've had two Dr. Peppers and I'm buzzing.
Yeah, you're buzzing. Because I'm hungry and I'm on sugar.
And I'm sure with the rage and Dr. Pepper, the combination is not great.

Speaker 1 Oh, the sugar and the rage.

Speaker 1 So then I get my number comes up. By this point, it's 486.

Speaker 1 196 was the first one. And I get the plate, and it's a brisket plate.
And it's, look, regular brisket is fatty. This was all fat.
There was no meat.

Speaker 1 There was this much meat, and it was fat globules on the side. Yeah.
So I sat down. And if you watch the show alone,

Speaker 1 fat is fat profit. That's great.
It is. But I didn't eat it because I'm not living in fucking Alaska.

Speaker 1 Oh, I thought I was. I'm at a hotel.
I forgot. You're in Dallas.
Sorry. So then I ate whatever I could, and I thought, this is okay.
I'm going to fuck off to the hotel.

Speaker 1 I'm going to jerk off and go to bed. Yeah.
Take a little nap before the show.

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Speaker 1 Hydro. I caught it.
You? They gave me one. I got one at the house.
I love it so very much. It's incredible.
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Speaker 1 DoorDash. Subjects have changed, terms apply.
Aye. You know our good friend Joe Rogan? Joe.
He loves this stuff. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know those times when you're into what you're doing and you just can't think about anything else? The times when you're at your most focused and productive? Yeah.

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Speaker 1 That's pretty insane because you know what? Coffee and energy drinks, they make you really jittery. Sometimes I know when you have too much of that stuff, you can feel it.

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Speaker 1 Then on my way home, I get a little phone call from Raj Sharma. You know our friend Raj Sharma.
I like him. Raj is a dad.
He's from there and he was opening for me. And

Speaker 1 Raj says, hey, buddy. You're not going to believe this.
And I almost threw my phone

Speaker 1 on the highway. I almost threw it right on the highway.
I'm not kidding. He missed his flight, something about his flight.
He's not there. No, even crazier.
He was in Houston last night.

Speaker 1 Somebody stole his fucking bag with his car keys. So he had all of his shit in his travel bag.
Someone stole it.

Speaker 1 So Raj gets robbed and Santino is ready to jump off the fucking freeway. Yeah, yeah.
Because I've got three hours to find someone to fucking open the show. Oh.
Yeah, it was really fun.

Speaker 1 So I'm calling around. I'm thinking, hey, who can, who can, does anybody know anybody? Does anybody know anybody? Yeah.
And everybody's like, yeah, but this guy's out of town and this guy's here.

Speaker 1 He's headline. He's featuring for somebody.
I'm scrambling. And Raj can't get back.
He goes,

Speaker 1 I've got to, I'm going to have a locksmith come, but by the time I get there, it'll be nine o'clock. You know what I do sometimes, though, is I always go, because I've done last-minute

Speaker 1 bookings for openers. Yeah.
And they're like, well, you know, I have this thing I got to do. Right.
And I just go, how much are they paying you? I'll pay you more. Yeah.
Did you do that? No, no, no.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 the reason he was in Houston was because he was with.

Speaker 1 No, I'm just saying when you're calling Dallas the round comedy. Oh, oh, dude, I offered anything.
I didn't care about the money. I was like, I'll give you whatever you need.

Speaker 1 I need someone to come do the show. Right, I'll come.
I was like, what the fuck? I'll do anything. But everyone was either gone that could feature or it was like host.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I need someone that can feature. Do 30 minutes.
Yes. And so I was like scrambling.
Luckily, Raj came through with a guy, Paul Varghese, who was great. So fucking funny.

Speaker 1 But the show

Speaker 1 was

Speaker 1 great.

Speaker 1 The show was great. But I had so much stress that day that I feel like I under, I didn't.
You underperformed. I just, you know, when your mood is shifted and you're not fucking swinging to the fence.

Speaker 1 That's the hard part of doing stand-up. Because sometimes you do two shows in a night, you know, when you do clubs.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And sometimes, you know, especially the second show, Friday night, it's just rowdier. You're tired.
Everyone's drunk. Yeah.
And it's like, you know, and

Speaker 1 you don't feel funny. Sometimes, you know, you have to perform and be funny when you're not.

Speaker 1 When you've got other stuff in your head. Other your head.
Yeah. So anyway, I did, the show was, overall, it was great.
It was a good six-out. It was fucking great.
Almost. We came close.

Speaker 1 It was really, really close. We just missed out because dallas didn't show up for daddy okay but um

Speaker 1 but anyway but it okay that was fine and then i went home to the hotel and i thought i just i got to get back we got bad friends tomorrow i got to get back to the house i want to get a good night's sleep

Speaker 1 i am in the middle of

Speaker 1 a mexican stampede party time excuse me i don't know what's going on outside there's a i think the the alamo is down there now that was you mean the no that's in san antonio i think they moved it up to dallas oh they can do that they were having a party.

Speaker 1 Right. And they, I think they had saved the Alamo again because there were low riders and gunshots and people yelling and they were bumping music.
Did you hear that? Aye aye, I. Any of that?

Speaker 1 It was 2.45 in the morning. Uh-huh.
So you couldn't sleep at all. Didn't get any sleep.
Right. Tried to jerk off.
Couldn't. Why? Because the ayays? Aye aye-i's.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Every time I'd get close. You know what I mean? I cannot.

Speaker 1 When I'm jerking off and there's a random aya,

Speaker 1 it just throws me off. I couldn't do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd get right there.
I'd go, you know, when you feel your toes curl, and I go, yeah. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 And I go, great. And then it would just wet noodle out of my hand.
But you do, but what I do, and that's true,

Speaker 1 I always immediately go to Mexican porn. I did.
Oh, it did? I did. And it tried to match the sounds.
You could incorporate the noise. Hi, puppy.

Speaker 1 I tried to match the sounds. Okay.
So

Speaker 1 let me get through this. So I couldn't sleep.
I didn't get any fucking sleep. So the next morning, I'm going downstairs to get a coffee to get to the airport.

Speaker 1 And all I want is a nice little cup of cappuccino. And I get my little cup of cappuccino, and my handle on my bag breaks.
It breaks right off.

Speaker 1 I swear to God.

Speaker 1 I swear to God, it rips right off my fucking bag. I literally was like, this is, I'm in a Ben Stiller movie.
I am Ben Stiller in a Ben Stiller movie. What's on my handle? My AirPods, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's attached to the bag, the case. So my AirPods snap with that, right? I spill coffee everywhere in the lounge.

Speaker 1 So I go buy another fucking coffee. I apologize to everybody for spilling coffee on leather couch.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I sit down, I finish this new coffee, coffee, and then I get in the fucking car to go to the airport. And as I look at my phone, bing, your flight is delayed.
Oh. As I'm in the fucking Uber.
Right.

Speaker 1 And then I go, God damn it.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I just, no, this one's out loud.

Speaker 1 And the driver is like, what's going on, sir? I'm like, drive!

Speaker 1 So then I open up my fucking AirPod case. I heard a little accident from the driver.
Was there a specific?

Speaker 1 He said, is everything okay? Yeah, yeah. I'm just a white dude.

Speaker 1 I make a guy from Fort Worth.

Speaker 1 and i opened up my airpod case and one of two air pods is in there you fucking it so so when the bag fell

Speaker 1 one of the air pods popped out that right there i would have killed myself oh i almost choked out the driver yeah that right there if he didn't have one of those cameras recording me i would have with a shoelace

Speaker 1 right so i had you know what you can do huh right is you know you know how they have those vending machines at the airport the high-tech ones i looked for it they didn't have one dallas doesn't have a high-tech vending Not at terminal, not at fucking gate A37.

Speaker 1 They had none of them. Right.
Because I got to tell you something. When it was delayed, and I said, Can we go back to the hotel real fast? Oh.
And because my flight's delayed by an hour.

Speaker 1 So he goes, Okay. He turns really quickly.
We're only like four streets up. I go back to the hotel.
I look. Nothing.
It's nowhere to be found. I scoured.
I couldn't find it. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I can't imagine.

Speaker 1 Are you on your hands and knees? Hands and knees. Are you sweating?

Speaker 1 Sweating.

Speaker 1 No mumbling. No, just out loud.
Oh, no. I'm out loud at this point.
I got a fucking fucking headphone. God damn it.
Does anybody find a fucking headphone? Yeah, yeah. And everybody thinks I'm crazy.

Speaker 1 So I get, you know, it would have been funny if it was already one in your ear. Yeah, where is it?

Speaker 1 I get back in the fucking Uber. I get to the fucking airport.
I have one headphone in. I don't care.
It is what it is. The flight keeps getting fucking delayed.

Speaker 1 And at this point, I hadn't really had anything to eat because I thought, well, I'm just going to get to the airport. I'll have something.
This is today. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is today. So McDonald's was the only thing that was near me, but McDonald's line was massive.
I just was like, fuck this, because it was the only thing that was open. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like when you go to New York or like LA, McDonald's is pretty chill. But when you go to Dallas, maybe McDonald's is busy.
It was really busy. I mean, dude, that was...

Speaker 1 Like in Moscow, like they love it. Dude, yeah.
I felt like

Speaker 1 this was like KFC in China. Do you know what I mean? All right, right.
A thousand people on the line. Yeah, yeah.
And so anyway, I sit down. I think, okay, I'm just going to get on the flight.

Speaker 1 They'll have food on the plane. I'll be fine.
So I get, you, this is, it sounds fake. I get on the fucking plane and a guy is sitting in my seat.

Speaker 1 I hate it, dude. Yeah, I go, I calmly go, I think you're in me.
I'm in that.

Speaker 1 Did they ask you something? I mean, may I ask something? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You say calmly, but because of the last 12-hour. No, but I approached him well.
Are you sure? You're the guy. Sit there reading your iPad.

Speaker 1 Is this guy the same guy from

Speaker 1 barbecue?

Speaker 1 I'm not that talented, so you know what I mean. Okay.
I have one or two characters.

Speaker 1 Try a different one. Ah, wow.

Speaker 1 Neil Brennan. Whoa.

Speaker 1 There's a war in Ukraine? Excuse me. Yes.
I think you're in my. I think that's my seat.
No.

Speaker 1 Well, let's read this article. Sure.

Speaker 1 I think that's my seat. Look, that's my seat.
Oh, well, can you just sit at the.

Speaker 1 Is that what he said? What he said? He said this. He goes, the guy in front of him who looked sick or hungover or something looked wrong with him, he goes, oh, do you mind switching then? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You don't do it. You don't.
Listen to me. Okay.
You don't make the assumption that the person, so sit in your regular seat when the guy comes.

Speaker 1 Then you ask. Then you ask.
Correct. Yeah.
I don't like that. I was pissed.
I was like, that's rude. So then I can't say no.
Otherwise, I look like a bad guy. You have to say no.
So I said yes. So

Speaker 1 I sit in the seat because it's aisle to aisle. Yeah.
So fine, whatever. It's one row back, whatever.

Speaker 1 I go and sit down. And then sure enough, a young man gets on and goes, that's my seat.
And I was like,

Speaker 1 what ticket did you have? I say to the guy, and he goes, Oh, it was the window one. I'm sorry.
And I was like,

Speaker 1 No problem. No problem.
So I scoot over.

Speaker 1 All right. And I think, God, just give me some fucking food and give me a Diet Coke so I can just be happy.

Speaker 1 May I ask what airline it is? American. Okay, so we know the food.
It's no, no, no. We didn't have that.
This is way worse than what you think. Because

Speaker 1 the food on the way there was fucking bullshit. Terrible.
It was

Speaker 1 no to it. It was a cold egg sandwich.
This gets even worse. Do you know why I book row earlier rows, the higher in the rows?

Speaker 1 Because I know they're going to run out of the good shit by the time they get to the back. Ah, I never even think of that.
I always do that.

Speaker 1 Because we've done that.

Speaker 1 I had the earlier row, but now I'm in a row back. And guess what? It's the cutoff.
So when this... When this woman, when this woman gets to me,

Speaker 1 she literally says, would you like lunch? I said, yes. What are the options?

Speaker 1 And she said, we only have one left. And I was like, is it fruit? What's the one you have left? And she said, shrimp salad.
And I was like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 Who the fuck wants a shrimp salad? Gross. Shrimp salad.
I won't even eat shrimp salad in the nicest restaurant in the world. I go, it's so gross a combination.
Shrimp salad?

Speaker 1 She goes, yeah, they took all the others. The other salads are gone.
And I wanted to fucking murder the guy that I had to switch seats with. May I ask you something?

Speaker 1 Can I ask you something? I ate fucking peanuts. That's what I fucking ate.
All right. So I had peanuts up until 5 p.m.
LA time. Do you not take the shrimps off of the salad? Oh, no.
What happens?

Speaker 1 Oh, no, no, no, no. It's cut up and mixed in.

Speaker 1 It's mixed in.

Speaker 1 Shrimp is a wet thing. It's fucking.
It seeps into the salad. This lettuce.
Dear American Airlines, who the fuck wants shrimp on a fucking airplane?

Speaker 1 Well, if you look at the pamphlet, there's always the chef that has photo. Yeah, well, let's call that fucking asshole.
So then this is one more beat to this whole scenario. Okay, go ahead.

Speaker 1 One more beat. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, no, thank you. That's, it's, it's fine.

Speaker 1 i don't i'll just take the peanuts and my in a diet coke okay yeah never got a diet coke

Speaker 1 didn't get a diet literally didn't get a diet coke no big deal i just i just ask

Speaker 1 at this point yeah i've had enough okay okay yeah i've had a fucking enough yeah the worst part of all this is here we are

Speaker 1 sorry this is backed up before the shrimp we're about to take off yeah and i'm on my ipad i'm watching my good friend our good friend tony hawk's new documentary yes which i texted him and i was like tony this is amazing yeah And he was like, Thank you.

Speaker 1 It is. Have you seen it till the wheels fall off? No.
Fuck, it's so good. Okay.
It's so good. So I texted Tony.
Really great. I'm watching online.
I lied to him. I said I did watch it, though.

Speaker 1 It's already out.

Speaker 1 We already know you didn't watch it. Yeah, unless you watch it by the time this comes out.
No, but I saw him last week. And then oh, you lied? Yeah, I lied in front of him.

Speaker 1 I'm going to tell him that you lied. I'm going to text him and tell him that you lied.
Please don't do that. I'm about to when the show's over.
This is already going to be out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I'm going to text him anyway. Let him find out naturally.
Okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 So then,

Speaker 1 so then I said,

Speaker 1 so then I'm watching the documentary. I'm enthralled.
And I've only got got one headphone in.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 the flight attendant, who is 1,000 years old,

Speaker 1 comes creeping down and goes, Excuse me,

Speaker 1 please detach the iPad from the keyboard.

Speaker 1 And I even took this one out

Speaker 1 so I could hear how fucking insane this was. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Let me ask you something. Okay.
That's what I know, too. So you have an iPad and you have a keyboard attached to it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so iPads come with like a nice flip stand. It's awesome.
It's like a ghost stand that like makes it hover. And the keyboard is a lot easier than typing on the iPad.
I see.

Speaker 1 So it makes a lot of sense. So

Speaker 1 is it illegal to have that?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So she says, can you detach the iPad from the keyboard? And I said,

Speaker 1 I can. What do you mean? I was like, we can use iPads, right? And she goes, you can keep watching on the iPad.
I need the keyboard detached from the iPad for takeoff.

Speaker 1 And I turn to the man next to me and he literally goes like this.

Speaker 1 What the fuck? I've never heard of that.

Speaker 1 I fly for a living. I'm on a plane constantly.
Yeah. Never, never heard of that.

Speaker 1 So I say, okay, but can I ask why? I've literally never heard of that. And she goes, I'll tell you why, because meanwhile, the announcements are going on.

Speaker 1 So I detach the fucking thing and I stuff it in the fucking thing and I sit there with the fucking iPad and I'm just watching away. Like, what could it be?

Speaker 1 She comes back to me two, three minutes later when the announcement is done. And she says, I'm not kidding.
Can't make this up. She goes, I'll tell you why.

Speaker 1 Because during 9-11, she literally said, she looked around and goes, during 9-11, the guys were communicating on a keyboard,

Speaker 1 on a keyboard computer.

Speaker 1 It's actually in our handbook. And I said, no one has ever in a million fucking years said this to me.
And she goes, well, then those flight attendants are not doing their job. So thank you.

Speaker 1 By the way, lady, if you think the terrorists were communicating via iPad keyboard and that's how they cracked the case on America. They weren't.
Let me just say something.

Speaker 1 There were no iPads in 2001. In 2001.
Yo, what the fuck is she talking about? What are you talking about? So I just accepted it. I took the lumps.
It didn't matter. I got home.
I landed.

Speaker 1 I took my fucking stupid Uber back to the fucking house and sat in Easter traffic wanting to kill myself. And I just got here about an hour after I got to my house.

Speaker 1 So really good to see everybody here. Really good to see you.
And that was fine. And we were a little late.
So did that make you angry?

Speaker 1 It was fine. Let me tell you something, okay? I've been on flights before.
This is a little lesson to you, right? Yeah. This has literally happened where I've sat down and a mother has come to me.

Speaker 1 Hi, so me and my daughter, right, couldn't get. So, can we sit there so we can sit? Because you're, and I, this,

Speaker 1 no,

Speaker 1 no,

Speaker 1 absolutely not. But, see, this, do you even ask where the seats are? Do you go, well, where's your seat? I don't care.
It's a no. I'm seating in A2.
Yeah. Okay.
It's a no.

Speaker 1 Because something might happen. Like the fucking shrimp.
Like fiasco. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I don't want a shrimp fiasco, right? So I say no, yeah, and I'm not being rude. I get it, you're right, it's not as if the daughter's on a different flight and we're gonna go down.

Speaker 1 I'll hold her hand, right? You know what I mean? It's all right, sweetie.

Speaker 1 I'll do the thing where now they say, you know, in case the oxygen masks come down, right, put it on your face first and then

Speaker 1 they have to put it on the kid. Not me.
No, I put it on the kid food first while my head explodes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. So that's who I am, right? That's nice.
But we're not switching seats. We're not switching seats.

Speaker 1 I assure you, lady, we're not. Okay.
Yeah, yeah. Well, no, I know that.
Always say no. But I respect that.
You're right. Yeah.
But I have done this a thousand times on planes because I travel alone.

Speaker 1 Someone goes, my brother, my daughter, my boyfriend, my girlfriend, my husband, my wife, can I just, will you just? And I always go, yeah,

Speaker 1 where is your seat? Yeah. And then when they go, it's there.
And I have done, I've gone, I'd prefer to sit in the aisle. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 You know what it is? It's like

Speaker 1 their fault.

Speaker 1 It's also their fault. It's so uncomfortable.
You're trying to make us uncomfortable, baby. Yeah.
When did you book the flight? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who did this for you? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why did you put you there and you there? I don't want to be hacky, but can we even go back to now the rules, right? What do you mean? In terms of like, how about this?

Speaker 1 The window thing has to be up when you take. Why? Why? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I want it down so when it catches on fire, I don't see anything. I want to see the engine go.

Speaker 1 I want to see it fly up. Yeah, yeah.
Number two, right? The trade table has to be in the upright position. Why? Why? Why does the seat need to be not, it can't be back? Why? Why? Why? And they don't.

Speaker 1 If the plane crashes, I'll put, I'll, if the plane crashes, I'll put my seat back up once we've crashed and I'll get off the plane. Exactly.
Yeah. Or

Speaker 1 my arms and my legs will be inside some other guy's face and it won't fucking matter. It doesn't matter, yeah.
The rules in that fucking thing. It's absolute bullshit.
Bullshit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is my favorite part. Detach the keyboard.
My phone, I was texting on my phone. Yeah.
And by the way, the keyboard that's detached from the iPad, the iPad still has a fucking keyboard. Yeah.

Speaker 1 On it. It's a keyboard.
The whole thing is a fucking keyboard. It touched screen.

Speaker 1 She hadn't. One time I was on a flight.
All right.

Speaker 1 The seatbelt sign was on. Right.
And I had to go to the bathroom. Right.
There was a little

Speaker 1 turbulence. A little bit of turbs.
Right. And I unhuck.
I stand up. And the flight attendant is like, excuse me, sir, right? You're not supposed to be sitting.
And I said, you're standing?

Speaker 1 What are you, balance queen?

Speaker 1 Are you a gymnast? Yeah, did you go to balance school? Steve, I'm out of fucking, you know me how ability is you do. If we rode a lake on that lock thing, I would win.
You would win. I would win.

Speaker 1 The running law. Yeah.
You sit down. You sit down.
Yeah, yeah. I hate it.
No, I don't like that. You gotta like that.

Speaker 1 Well, also, you know, I heard a guy one time say, a woman goes, sir, you have to be seated. He goes, it's not a law.
I can go to the bathroom if I want. You know, it's not a law.
It's not a law.

Speaker 1 Not a law. I'm going to write that down.
It's not a law, George. Write that down for me.
George, it's not a law. It's not a law.
I'm going to know. Tell me what the laws are.
I want to know.

Speaker 1 I want to know. Because you know what I did on this plane.
Yeah, yeah. And I do this on every flight.
And I've said it once. I've said it.
I've said it on my podcast. I've said it on this podcast.

Speaker 1 And the truth is the truth is the truth. I'm six foot one.
The bathrooms are always very tiny. Exactly.
The toilets are kind of hard to get to. Yeah.
I pee in the sink. What?

Speaker 1 Hello, Tushi.

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Go the extra mile and wash your butt.

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Speaker 1 It sure does smell good, Rudy. It washes your bum with fresh water for a way better clean than just toilet paper, simply pat and dry.
Bob and I do use this. I have one at the house.
We have one here.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It does cut down on toilet paper, which I think is good for the ecosystem and it's good for your butthole because your butthole wants to be clean.
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Speaker 1 So go to hellotushi.com slash bad friends to get 10% off plus free shipping. Wow, that's good.
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Speaker 1 Go to hellotushi.com slash bad friends for 10% off give the gift of a clean bum to yourself or your loved ones and get 10% off plus free shipping right now at hellotushi.com slash bad friends tag us at hello tushi on social media so we can celebrate your clean bum that's hellotushy.com slash bad friends better help oh man during the pandemic and even now you know i've gone through some problems yeah some troubles we've all had i use better help and i love online therapy and i love this service people don't always realize that physical symptoms like headaches teeth grinding and even digestive issues can be indicators of stress and let's not forget about doom scrolling, sleeping too little, sleeping too much, and undereating and overeating.

Speaker 1 This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and I got to tell you, we've talked about them before. We like them.
We've used them. I think it's great.
If you're into getting help,

Speaker 1 traditional offline therapy can be very expensive. That's the good thing about this.
You do this from the comfort of your own home. They have video chat sessions.
You don't have to have the camera on.

Speaker 1 If you're like, I don't want them to see what I look like. I just want to talk to somebody.
You can do that. It's much more affordable also than in-person therapy.

Speaker 1 Give it a try and see if online therapy can help you lower your stress. What about you, Jules?

Speaker 2 BetterHelp is customized online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat session with your therapist. So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to.
That's right.

Speaker 1 This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and our Bad Friends listeners are going to get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash bad friends.

Speaker 1 That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash bad friends.

Speaker 1 I peed on this flight sync. And you know what? It was particularly because of the shrimp salad.
I wasn't going to do it.

Speaker 1 I was going to pee in the regular toilet. But then I thought,

Speaker 1 no.

Speaker 1 I literally was, I whipped out my dinger and I had the toilet seat up. And I just looked at the sink and I said,

Speaker 1 shrimp salad, huh?

Speaker 1 And I turned and I pissed right in the sink. I pissed right in the sink.
I endorse that. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Let's just say something else. I love you.
Why can't

Speaker 1 bathrooms in human homes, not the airport, airplane, right? Have the same suction as the fucking toilets on the. Yes, I need that.
I want that too. Right.
What is that? That technology. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like the devil is like, give me the shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's the best technology. It's amazing.
Yeah, yeah. You know what? Actually,

Speaker 1 when I get like my forever home or my dream home, you know what I do want? Eric Andre has urinals in his house. He has urinals.
And I was like, I've never seen that. I want a fucking urinal.

Speaker 1 I want a urinal.

Speaker 1 You could put one in your house. I don't have any fucking room.
Yeah, yeah. I have a small house.
No, but your bathroom, that front bathroom, you could put a urinal in there. I could probably.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you should.
Quick tip, though. Your sink is just like a urinal at home.
I know, but you know what? My no, no, my sink angle isn't as nice.

Speaker 1 The reason I use airplane sinks is because at 6-1, the sink is right, literally, my balls are hovering right above the sink. Wow.
It's perfect. It's almost like they designed it.

Speaker 1 It's like a guy took out a measure. He's like, that'll be his nuts will be right above it.
Which means that you can see your own nutsack through the mirror. Yep.
That's strange.

Speaker 1 Well, and I and I swing them and I swing them back and forth. Yeah, yeah.
Even I can tell they're nervous.

Speaker 1 Like right as they brush the metal, they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because it'll be be cold. And they don't want to have to climb up the rope.
So I let them hang right above it.

Speaker 1 No, and you know what?

Speaker 1 Even though the whole

Speaker 1 Dallas was awesome, I loved it. The show was great.
I had a great time. Aside from all the other shit, I do fucking love Dallas.

Speaker 1 The show was great. I was just in my head because I want to have a perfect show.

Speaker 1 And it makes it all better to know that we're here with my bad friend's family. Let me ask you this question.

Speaker 1 The weekend in general, because Friday was magical. Friday was.
Saturday was a disaster. No,

Speaker 1 the comedy part was amazing. Stand-up is good, but all the elements around it were so would you like from 1 to 10, your weekend, what is it?

Speaker 1 Friday, 11. No, just

Speaker 1 all of it. The whole weekend was.

Speaker 1 Oh, Friday was an 11. Okay.
Yeah. And Saturday was a what? Saturday was a day.

Speaker 1 No, it was a three.

Speaker 1 It was like a four and a half. Four and a five.
Yeah. So the whole weekend, you would say generally it was a seven weekend.
Eight. I'll give it an eight because Friday was so great.

Speaker 1 It was a good weekend. Yeah.
No, it was good. Yeah, yeah.
Did you have a good time? Yeah, I had a good time. Tell us about your experience, Rudy.

Speaker 2 I really had a good time with the scooter, but

Speaker 1 while riding it, I thought that I was going to die and hit a car and then my head would just fall off. Fall off.
She wasn't.

Speaker 1 She was going so fucking slow.

Speaker 1 That is true.

Speaker 1 They go up to 20 miles an hour, maybe or something like that. Yeah, it says it on the little screen.

Speaker 2 I was going

Speaker 1 nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine.

Speaker 1 So you have to keep stopping and here's what's funny about those scooters the people that know if you stop for too long or go too slow they lock because they think you're gonna park it right so hers fucking locked yeah and that's why but we were like just go meanwhile bobby was on x games jumping in and out of the middle of the street i love it you did you did get too a little close to getting in car trouble yeah yeah oh dude so when i so after friday night

Speaker 1 So after Friday, I didn't tell anybody. Where did you guys go, by the way, after? So we had pizza again.

Speaker 1 You had pizza again. Yeah, yeah.
And then you went back to the hotel?

Speaker 1 So it was me adam egot and trevor wallace yeah we decided to go eat pizza right and it's pretty far from my hotel so guess what i do scoot scoot

Speaker 1 right yeah and um spent a thousand dollars on bird scooters probably yeah and i wiped out you fell real bad

Speaker 1 yes because i was i had my map quest thing on because i didn't know what the hotel run map quest what is this 04

Speaker 1 you mean google maps google maps google maps right i'm at google maps right and it's it's dark, but there's a little light from the bird, right? From the scooter. It does have a little shiner.
Right.

Speaker 1 And I hit a curb. Love it.
It flipped. I slid on my stomach like this.
Like,

Speaker 1 I went like five feet.

Speaker 1 Right? But it's like, nothing happened.

Speaker 1 It wasn't bad? No, but I got like a little, like, the wind knocked out of me. Yeah.
A little cuss, right? And people saw me started laughing. Oh, yeah.
And then. Did anybody recognize you?

Speaker 1 Yeah, somebody drove by and goes, no, Sotros papaya. I don't know what that means.
That's a little slogan from Tiger Bell. Yeah, I know what it means.
And I

Speaker 1 went really slow after that. After that, you went down the night.

Speaker 1 No, three.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because I was like, yeah, I didn't want to do that. You could really hurt yourself.
So, Rudy, give the assessment of how you did on stage, you think, because we'll tell you something.

Speaker 1 After the show,

Speaker 1 back in the dressing room, I was

Speaker 1 like dear in the headlights. She was.

Speaker 2 After the show, I immediately fell asleep because I was so tired.

Speaker 1 This is funny. Comics will talk about this.
This is why a lot of comics use drugs or drinking and everything.

Speaker 1 People want to know about, like, because you come down so hard, people want to get lifted up again.

Speaker 1 So that's why sometimes comics will go out to eat or go drink, drink, or go to do drugs or go party because you want to feel up again because you drain all your adrenaline, all your endorphins are gone.

Speaker 1 You passed out like that.

Speaker 1 That's good. That means you did.
That means you had your, you were elevated and you delivered.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You delivered, dude.
The crowd was fucking. So when you first went out there, how did it feel?

Speaker 2 I was like really scared, but then when I saw the crowd and then they cheered, I kind of, it was good.

Speaker 1 See, it's going to her head a little bit. That's why I told her she has to get a job.
What are we going to do to get it? What job are you going to get?

Speaker 2 Like in campus, like maybe a waiter.

Speaker 1 No. We got to get you a real job.

Speaker 2 I can't work outside.

Speaker 1 I know a guy that works for the city. Yeah.
Under the table? I know a guy that works for the city that paints, you know, that paints new lines on the streets. Yeah, yeah.
And they need somebody.

Speaker 1 You can paint street lines?

Speaker 1 You can hold a big paint gun. I'll try.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Well, but I could, because she had the twinkle in her eye.
Yeah, she could feel it. Yeah, yeah.
She was just like, I like this.

Speaker 1 And it scared me because it's like, she's only 20 years old, right? Yeah. You know, now she's like, you know, it was 1700 seats, 1,800 seats, sold out.
It was totally sold out. It was amazing.

Speaker 1 Full of energy. They cheered for you.
And in my head, because I feel like I'm kind of a parent.

Speaker 1 You are, that's kind of weird to wear. And I just kind of go, you know, she needs to get a regular job to know how

Speaker 1 to level it out. To level it out.
Because I got to tell you something. After the show, I said,

Speaker 1 you walked out to go find Adam, and she was in the bathroom smoking a cigarette.

Speaker 1 And she was on the phone. And I go, Rudy, what are you doing? She goes, I'm on the phone with my agent.

Speaker 1 And then she put out the cigarette right like on the counter. And I go, Rudy.
And she goes, someone will clean it up. Don't worry, bitch.
And then she walked away. Right.

Speaker 1 And she's getting a little too

Speaker 1 Hollywood Hollywood for me. Even for me.

Speaker 1 You know? Yeah. It's like when we get an Uber, she's like, No XL.
That she literally

Speaker 1 says that. No XL.
Yes, you do. Yeah, and we're paying for it.
You never pay.

Speaker 1 She doesn't pay. She literally goes, It's premium or black.

Speaker 1 She goes, I don't, I won't.

Speaker 1 Somebody goes, Should I just get an Uber? She goes, If you're getting a regular Uber, I'll walk. Yeah.
That's how fucking stuff. At restaurants, you know what she does now?

Speaker 1 It's like, will it be at a restaurant, like a steakhouse? Yeah. And she'll just go, Tomahawk.

Speaker 1 Like the most expensive. The most expensive.
So Wagyu, Tomahawk. I don't even know that word.
Oh, bullshit. Shit.
Fucking liar. Bullshit, right? I don't like him.
Caviar, tomahawk, the whole thing.

Speaker 1 She did. She ordered the most expensive stuff at the Mexican restaurant.
And she wanted all the nice stuff. So a guy in the thing, right? There was a short, muscly guy.
What was his name?

Speaker 1 His body was muscle.

Speaker 1 He was strong. He was strong.
But handsome. Very handsome.
And low to the earth. Very short guy.
He could have been. He was.
Semi-dwarf. He, yeah.

Speaker 1 Semi.

Speaker 1 He had a little bit of. He had a little person vibe.
a little bit of little LP in him a little tiny LP in him He was cute. Yeah, he was cute.

Speaker 1 Yeah, then why did you give him the false a false you gave him a fake number Yeah, you did why because you were like you really don't want to hang out with him No, so what he said was he said Rudy will you go out with me and then we made fun of him and then Rudy was like he is cute and then so he came up and we said well okay let him shoot a shot I guess he was 20.

Speaker 1 Nine. Yeah.
And we were like

Speaker 1 a little little well, whatever.

Speaker 1 Okay. You're 20.
You can do whatever you want. So then he comes up and then he he says, Well, let me get the digits, seal the deal.
That's what Brian Simpson says, seal the deal.

Speaker 1 And we both saw you were giving him bullshit. Yeah, I looked over, I go, It's not your 917, you're not in New York,

Speaker 1 yeah. So, because you didn't want anything to do with it, no, good.
I mean, good, you did it the right way. You politely were like, Here's my number, but obviously, it's not my number, go sit down.

Speaker 1 But he was, I thought he was cute, I thought he was the right height for you. Um, he seemed like a nice guy, right? So, what see, you're you really aim high, huh? What do you mean in terms of looks

Speaker 2 No, I just

Speaker 1 That's what you want higher? Well explain yourself. Why did you not want to hang out with that guy because you did say he was cute Maybe he could have been a bit taller.
He was too short

Speaker 1 already. I knew that's what it was.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we've got to get

Speaker 1 a job That's my preference. Yeah, but that's cute.
You know, you you'll do some you do some dishwashing in a kitchen or something. You won't mind a little short.
You'll give him the right number.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you'll give him the right number just because, just in case. And then, and then, Rudy, why don't you tell, well, you got Dr.
Drew on stage, our good friend Dr.

Speaker 1 Drew, who we love, and he got on stage. What did you say to Dr.
Drew?

Speaker 2 Hi, Dr. Drew.

Speaker 1 Hi, Dr.

Speaker 1 I apologize for bobbing.

Speaker 1 But you're very hot.

Speaker 1 That's it. That's it.
That's it.

Speaker 2 He's so hot.

Speaker 1 Dr. Drew's wife seven feet away.

Speaker 1 She's like right in the front row. She's right there.
In the front row. We see her.
And Jules looks at and says, you are so hot. Hi, Drew.
You're so hot. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Also, can I just say something about your performance Friday night? Okay.

Speaker 1 About my performance?

Speaker 1 Oh, Fancy's? Yeah, no, no. I told you.
Oh, Fancy, tell them what happened. Fancy opened the show.
He opens the show and I told him, do not say that I'm going to be performing after Trevor Wallace.

Speaker 1 It would have been better if he, I told him, I go, just say, here's the next comic. Yeah.
And then say my name. So there's more of a surprise.

Speaker 1 But he says that we're all going to do stand-up before, right? No, I didn't. Yes, you did.
Yeah, if you look, you did. Yeah, you did.
Yeah, if you look. I was nervous.

Speaker 1 I know you were very, you were very nervous. We have to write him jokes.
Yeah, we have to write him jokes. Because he gets out there and he was like, hey, everybody.
And everybody cheers.

Speaker 1 And he goes, Hey, everybody.

Speaker 1 Twice. I was like, you don't, you can say hi once.
Yeah, yeah. Once you're on the house, and then there's like a weird sweat that develops on his upper lip.
It was trembling. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 His lip was trembling with

Speaker 1 his lips were extra moist. Yeah, so wet.
Yes, so wet for no reason at all. Yeah, yeah.
Hey, everybody. Hey, everybody.

Speaker 1 And at that point, people were concerned he had a stroke. Someone was like, is he okay? Do you smell toast? Yeah, yeah.
I got nervous for you because he did.

Speaker 1 We said to fans, and by the way, this is a lesson to people out there that think that stand-up and all that shit in public performance is easy. He was supposed to do two fucking minutes.

Speaker 1 He was up there for 58 seconds. 58 seconds.
I timed it. Yes, probably.

Speaker 1 I timed it. 58.
So the moment he got on stage,

Speaker 1 12 of that were like cheers and hooping and hollering. Yeah, yeah.
And he did another fucking 40-some-odd seconds and then immediately was like he said three things. Hey, everybody.
Hey everybody.

Speaker 1 Everybody. Trevor Wallace.
Trevor Wallace, everybody.

Speaker 1 Hey, Austin. How are you guys?

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 I always get really intimidated in front of you guys, but thank you for the love.

Speaker 1 So as you might know, I just became an American citizen. Thank you.

Speaker 1 So, I can't think of a better place to celebrate that than Texas.

Speaker 1 But we just came from dinner to a place that says no guns. What the fuck?

Speaker 1 That's the whole point. The only thing I wanted to do when I, you know, got my citizenship was getting a gun.
So, now, anyway. But, yeah, we have a great show for you tonight.

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 my favorite comedians will be here in a second but before that

Speaker 1 we have a special surprise

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 and no it's not little black magic

Speaker 1 better

Speaker 1 one of Bobby's favorite comedians

Speaker 1 He's such a such a funny guy and he's gonna come here to do a little bit of his stand-up with us.

Speaker 1 You guys might know him from Tiger Belly and his own podcast.

Speaker 1 Hey, welcome, Trevor Wallace.

Speaker 1 But can I say another thing that was like really strange? And I think he might be

Speaker 1 Brown Magic. Who?

Speaker 1 Andreas. Oh, why? Because remember, he was on the floor, right? Because we did a questions and answers thing.
Yes. And then we answered someone's questions.

Speaker 1 And then the next thing you know, he was up in the balcony. He was.
He was so sneaky. We had one guy.
He get up there so fast.

Speaker 1 He had one guy say, hey, when are you guys going to make the bottoms of Turtle Island? And within seconds, he goes, we have another question up here.

Speaker 1 And we look up and fancy he's in the balcony with two women. Yeah.
And two women, by the way, that wanted to take you out. Right.
They wanted to take you.

Speaker 2 The way they asked me was kind of like scary.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? Like, why?

Speaker 2 They sound like they were really drunk.

Speaker 1 They were high. They were high.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That happens.
What's the problem? You don't want to be honest. Because you were the one that you were like, you might be by, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you say that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's some curiosity,

Speaker 1 right? And here's another thing that I want to say about you, which was rude, what you did, Andreas, right?

Speaker 1 Just hear me out, okay? I'm ready for it. So you said somebody asked why that question, right? When are you going to make the bottom of the Turtle Island? That's right.

Speaker 1 They say, when are you going to make the Bottle of Translation? What was Andreas's response? What was your response, Fancy? Fuck you.

Speaker 1 I'm working on it. No, answer it, Fancy.
Did he just say fuck you to that guy? Yeah. I'm working on it.
I'm working on it. He's working on it.

Speaker 1 Wow, Fancy. He's been a citizen for one month.
One month, and he looked like a real American.

Speaker 1 He said, fuck you to that. Not just fuck you.
Fuck you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You fucked that guy right off.
What is so wrong with that? That question didn't deserve an answer? Yeah, why did you say fuck you to that guy? I'm working on it. Why couldn't you have said that?

Speaker 1 I'm working on it. Does these movies take time? This and that.
But I'm way nicer than that. Yeah, then fuck you.

Speaker 1 And then in the meanwhile, the guy, imagine, he's like, okay, I'm gonna, I really love that idea. He built up all the courage.
And I don't, should I say something in front of all these people?

Speaker 1 I'm going to, right? I'm going to take the risk, right? Right. So he's nervous.
He's like, all right, so what are you guys going to make the bob? Fuck you.

Speaker 1 It was so mean. So mean.
And it was very unlike you. That's my whole thing with this.
He's becoming an, he's a new American.

Speaker 1 You know, he bought a gun while we were down in Austin because he wanted a gun in Texas. Yeah.
And he stayed, he goes, I'm going to stay strapped up forever now.

Speaker 1 And I said, you have to, you can't bring that in everywhere in L.A. But he brought it to every restaurant.
He brought a gun into Suarte and they told him to sit outside.

Speaker 1 He even took a picture of the sign that said, no guns, be cool, right? Yes. Yes, because he wanted to bring his strapped up gun in there.
How did you feel about

Speaker 1 that night?

Speaker 1 I think it was great, except for my performance. Your performance was good.
We just have to get you tuned up. If we do a Bad Friends tour next year, we just got to get it.
You know what?

Speaker 1 I think I want to do it. Do you seriously? Yeah.
Because

Speaker 1 I think that proved to me. We can do it.
We can do do it. I think that if we mix in, like we did Friday night, we did some stand-up to let people know that, hey, we can get laughs,

Speaker 1 just like anyone else. We're at a comedy festival because we want to show that muscle.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 And then when you sit down, you know, it's already, we got the laughs out of the way. And now we can, you know, do a podcast, which is some of it isn't always funny.

Speaker 1 Sometimes you get into personal things. Well, we did with Dr.
Drew, for sure. Yeah, yeah.
So I thought that was a really good mix. I thought it was wonderful.
And so we will.

Speaker 1 We'll plan plan a little tour, and we're going to be on a bus. You want to do it on a bus?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Have you ever been on one of those tour buses? No.
Where you sleep in the bunks?

Speaker 2 Where do you shower?

Speaker 1 There's a shower built into it. There's a shower built into there.
Or we stop and we get a hotel in places too so we can have a room to shower and we can do both. Okay.

Speaker 1 Like some places we'll sleep in the bus. Like when you're on the road, sometimes when you're on the road, you have to drive at night.
So we'll sleep. Who's driving? Oh, that's a good question.

Speaker 1 A driver.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's an automatic. Is it not you?

Speaker 2 Or Tito Bobby? Why the fuck?

Speaker 1 It's fucking three in the morning. Why the fuck am I driving a fucking tour bus? You can smash the bus.
Yeah, yeah. You need a guy that's fucking zooted up on uppers.
Leonard Skynyrd.

Speaker 1 You know what happened to Leonard Skynard? No.

Speaker 1 We're going to do a Bad Friends tour probably maybe next year. Next year, we'll do it.

Speaker 1 This year, we obviously can't because I got to go back and shoot Dave at the end of the fucking year, which is so far away already. But it's going to end the year for me.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 2023 will definitely do it. We'll do it.
That's why I want her to get a job this summer so that next summer when we do the tour,

Speaker 1 that we'll let you do that. That's the goal.
That's the goal, I think, is to get you a job that we want you to do, not that you want to do.

Speaker 1 Because if she picks a job she wants to do, it's going to be too easy. No, I want her like a hard job.
What do you think we should, like, what do you genuinely think we should get her to do?

Speaker 1 I'll be honest with you, like, morning shift at a barista of a busy coffee shop. Nightmare.
It's a nightmare. It's a fucking nightmare.
It's a nightmare.

Speaker 1 You've never worked at all. No.
Oh, my God. She's going to collapse.
Wait tables at a really busy. busy.
It's got to be because breakfast is so hard. Breakfast.
And it's a slammed restaurant.

Speaker 1 And everyone is busy. You're tired.
And they have somewhere to be, and you're fucking exhausted and you don't want to be there. And you have a section that you have 12 tables, right?

Speaker 1 And you have to memorize what everyone has. You're constantly looking at your paper.
People complaining, where's my ketchup?

Speaker 2 Can you fight customers?

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.
You can physically fight them. Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is part of the

Speaker 1 server handbook. It does say if they cross a line with you and your lines are your lines, you're allowed allowed to physically attack them.
Yeah, but you're only allowed two attacks a day.

Speaker 1 So you got to kind of pick and choose which tables you feel like physically. Well, you can't, I'll be honest with you.
Like, my brother, I've gotten two jobs, two jobs.

Speaker 1 And Adam Egan just reminded me, because we're at Pizza Saturday night, Friday night, and he goes, Remember your brother at Tempe?

Speaker 1 Oh, he at the Tempe Improv. Yeah, because I bought got, so I got banned from the Tempe Improv.
Congrats. And so my brother got.
And you got banned from Cap City. We just told us about that, too.

Speaker 1 So I got banned from both clubs, right? But Tempe, because of my asshole.

Speaker 1 Meanwhile, in Austin, you showed your asshole. That's true.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But it was a theater. You can't get banned from theater.
Yeah, yeah. So my bad.
So then, but my brother got fired from Tempe. So I begged them because my brother would go in ASU.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I go, you know, I'm a comic. You know, I know the guy.

Speaker 1 Three days later,

Speaker 1 the guy calls me and he goes, I had to fire your brother. I go, why? Because he tried to stab a waitress or threatened to stab.

Speaker 1 Right? Big difference between threatened and try to stay. No, no, no.
He didn't try, but he goes, I will stab you, bitch, or something like that. Well, what did she say? She goes, you're.

Speaker 1 She complained to the management. No, how did he get the stat wanting to stab her? It wasn't like, hey, can you roll silver water? I think his thumb was in

Speaker 1 like a sandwich. Oh, well, that's, yeah.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I get it. But like, dug in, probably.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and she's like, yeah, fuck you. And he's like, I'll stab you.
Yeah. Like, if he committed a murder, they would definitely get their print, you know, off the sandwich.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then the second time he got fired was Sushi Dan's.
I love Sushi dance. Right, so I got to my job there.
Dan calls me. He goes, I had it for your brother.
And I go, why?

Speaker 1 And he goes, he threw sushi at the sushi chef.

Speaker 1 Well, why? Because he yelled at my brother, and my brother snapped and threw a fucking, you know what I mean, yellow tail. How funny would it be if while he's cutting, he caught, he's like, oh.

Speaker 1 Not Betty Hanna, but.

Speaker 1 All right, we're getting you a job. And we'll take suggestions, by the way.
Oh, there's Bob showing

Speaker 1 the star. And that's the star of Dan Farmer.

Speaker 1 That's for covering the hole yeah he covered what a what a that's family right there fancy got so nervous that you were gonna open your butthole i know he was free dude he was panicking i mean look at his hair how sweaty it looks like he jumped out of a pool i know he was so nervous because he was like please don't show your butthole bob yeah so we're gonna pick we're gonna pick the job okay but but but bob let's take suggestions from fans you guys in the comments you should comment about what you guys want Rudy to do, what job you want her to do.

Speaker 1 Because we want to, I think we should do that. Don't you think we should take suggestions at least? Yeah.
Then we'll take a final poll and whittle it down.

Speaker 1 Does that sound good? Yeah. All right.
Well, listen, we love you. We're going to do a Bad Friends tour.
Thank you for everybody that came out to Austin. Thanks for everyone that came out in Dallas.

Speaker 1 We appreciate you guys so much. Bob is heading off to Oklahoma to go shoot.
I'll be there for 12 days shooting the second season of Reservation Dog. Which is a great show.

Speaker 1 And if you haven't seen it, please watch Reservation Dogs on FX. Why are you laughing? I'm being serious.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I've watched the show.

Speaker 1 It was good. Those twins are fucking really good.
They're really good. They're very, very talented.

Speaker 1 Anyway, go ahead, Rudy.

Speaker 2 Thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 Thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 Good night, everybody. Thank you.
Good night, baby.

Speaker 1 Well, do you ever feel like that as a comedian? Do you ever feel, or a a performer, do you ever feel, why me sometimes? What do you mean? I mean, in the rate of success.

Speaker 1 Like, do you ever think, well, why, why me? Why was I chosen?

Speaker 1 You know, but I'm being serious.

Speaker 1 I think the serious answer to that, without any jokes, is that I feel like when I started, I knew I was going to make a living. No, but not make, I'm not talking to make a living.

Speaker 1 I'm talking become what you become, which is extremely successful.

Speaker 1 Honestly,

Speaker 1 this is the honest truth. I feel like I'm mid-level.

Speaker 1 Bobby, you know how many people that would be so angry at you for saying that? That are so you, you, yeah, because they're not mid-level, they're bottom-level.

Speaker 1 They're angry because they're a bottle, but there's a higher level.

Speaker 1 So, why can't I be mid-level? But there is no high level because even people at high level go, well, I'm not up here. And then those people, well, I'm not up here.

Speaker 1 So, I'm saying there is either you're successful or you haven't been making a living at it yet. Yeah.
And you're very successful.

Speaker 1 So, I'm saying, do you ever think beyond your ability, because you're extremely talented?

Speaker 1 I'm saying, put this stuff aside. Do you ever think, was I chosen? Was I picked? Was this like part of a destiny thing?

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I'm being genuine too. I believe everything.

Speaker 1 And this is going to sound so cheesy. So what? I believe, and I talked to her about this, about spirituality and stuff.

Speaker 1 I say, I said to her, I go, I just honestly believe that everything in my past was meant to happen to lead up to this moment. Right.

Speaker 1 So I believe that everything I've learned lessons, you know, and there's choices that you make. I mean, you know, when you're like, when I went to rehab before, I'm the one that went,

Speaker 1 you know, I have to make a choice here. I'm going to go.
Like, you make, I could have not gone. Right.
I don't know what would have happened after that, right?

Speaker 1 But I've made the right choices at the right times. And I believe that instinctually, there are parts of me that are connected to something outside of myself.