Getting Wet With Chris Distefano

Speaker 1 Hey, what's up, bad friends? The Tito Cheeto is here. I just wanted to give you guys a little update about our boy Bob.

Speaker 1 He's getting a little bit of good help. He's feeling good.
We're talking every day. And we want to thank you for sticking along and being a bad friend with us during a transitional time in our lives.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 we love you, and we miss you. And Bob's going to come back very soon.

Speaker 1 And he's feeling good and he's doing good. And I'm out by a lake.
Look at this

Speaker 1 lake, dude.

Speaker 1 But I just want to give you guys an update.

Speaker 1 He's working out some stuff, but Bobby's doing good, and he sends his love, and he misses all of his bad friends, and he will be back soon. And thank you for supporting us in the meantime.

Speaker 1 Also, I'm out in upstate New York because I'm on the road. Come see me, AndrewSantino.com for those tickets.
AndrewSantino.com. This weekend, I'm in Seattle and Portland.
And then I do Vegas.

Speaker 1 And then we get into Canada. They're going to let us back in.
So go to AndrewSantino.com. Come see me this weekend, Seattle and Portland.
AndrewSantino.com. Thank you guys for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 We're bad friends. T-Pain has a podcast now.
Yeah, I know. I saw.
It's actually pop, super popular, isn't it? Should we try to get on it?

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah, of course.
I would love to. I would love to go on T-Pain's pod.
What's it called?

Speaker 1 What's T-Pain's podcast? Nappy Boy. Nappy Boy.
Nappy Boy Radio. Are you being serious? Yeah, Nappy Boy.
Okay, I thought that you'd throw it out there. No.

Speaker 1 I was like, yeah, we were on the podcast, kid. Red out at the diner? Nappy Boy Radio with T-Payne.
But his record company is called Nappy Boy, Nappy Boy Radio. Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 No, because I thought if you were just throwing that one out there,

Speaker 1 what about

Speaker 1 that old guy?

Speaker 1 Don Imos? Don Imus? Yeah. And you got what he was like, a bunch of nappy-headed hoes.

Speaker 1 That guy was nuts.

Speaker 1 You guys remember that?

Speaker 1 Let's not go quoting things that got people canceled here. Yes.
Well, you can quote quote what he said. He's dead now, Don Sangh.
He's dead now, Donnelly. R.I.P., dude.
What a guy.

Speaker 1 He died from that, from saying that. Yeah.
Yeah, you can't say that.

Speaker 1 Shock jock. Well, of nappy-headed hose.
Headed hose fame. Yeah.
So I can't say it. It's the news article name.
That's how you're known as the nappy-headed hose guy.

Speaker 1 Not that you started making merch, nappy-headed hose. Just shirts.
Kids. Today he would sell a ton of it.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. A ton of napped.
Daily Wire would start slinging it. Ben Shapiro.
And the reason that we wear the Nappy-headed hose sweater is because obviously it's promoting what we believe in.

Speaker 1 It's a joke, and it's a joke, and the Democrats are going to get it because they don't believe in jokes.

Speaker 1 All that dude does is talk as fast as he can. It's so funny.
I don't believe in anything he's saying. He just keeps rattling it all.
Well, he says opposite points all the time, too.

Speaker 1 But he just says it so quick. You're like, fuck.
Yeah, what's wrong with the whites are our premise? What have they ever done that's offended you at all? And

Speaker 1 of course, of course, I'm Jewish and I'm Jewish and I'm Jewish. And that's how I feel.
And that's how I believe. And that's kind of, I just think free speech is fine.
But, but, but, but, but, but,

Speaker 1 you know, unless it's against my people.

Speaker 1 I was born a biological male.

Speaker 1 He always says that I'm his biological male. I'm born a biological male, so therefore I'm a male.
I couldn't be anything else other than a male.

Speaker 1 Even if I changed my gender, it's not going to matter. Kyle Dunnegan's Ben Shapiro.
I don't know if you've spoken about it on the show. I mean, it's so good.

Speaker 1 Literally, it's the fact that a guy like a Kyle Dunnegan is not, I mean, he's very famous, but not, like, he's not the face of, let's say, the iconic SNL sketch.

Speaker 1 Like, that is the most, that's a Will Farrell talent. Yeah.
That's not on the show.

Speaker 1 Dunigan's. He's what the show is, and he's not on it.
Well, he's doing it himself. Bennifer Shrimpo.
It's me, Jiraco Biden. I hear you're a very talented Trans Am.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm confused. You called the Ben Shapiro show.
I'm Ben Shapiro. I don't know who Benner Shrimpo is.
Also, I'm not a Trans Am. That's a car.
I'm a human man.

Speaker 1 Darn right, you're a man. Who cares what you're born with? And congratulations, I just signed a Mexican order.
So

Speaker 1 a sex and border. You can play hockey with the girls now.
Okay, I'm sick of explaining this to everyone. I I am fully biologically male.

Speaker 1 I was born with one set of reproductive organs, and they are fully male. They want your point about hockey.
Not interested. Look, look, look, I need your vote.

Speaker 1 I got a big erection coming up against the bad dude. Dull duck.
He's got no pants, man. Orange legs.
If you're referring to the election we just had that you won, you won that.

Speaker 1 And to be clear, it was not against a cartoon duck. Hey, come on, give me a chance.
America needs to heal. That's why we're here.

Speaker 1 Blank people are just as fat as white white girls. Same as Trans Jengas.
That makes absolutely no sense.

Speaker 1 Trans Jengas.

Speaker 1 Stunning is unbelievable.

Speaker 1 Do you know him personally? Like, have him on the pod and stuff or whatever? No, he hasn't, but he's never came on my show. But I know him.
I mean, he's great. I know him.
I love him.

Speaker 1 He's so funny, man. Yeah.
I love him. He's a great guy.
I never met him. You know who I don't love, Chris? Fancy B.

Speaker 1 Oh. Hey.
Fancy B. We said.
Scumbag. Fancy B is sitting in Rudy's chair.
I know. We're shooting early in the morning.
And our good friend Chris Estefano is back.

Speaker 1 I feel like we just jumped right through all the hoops, but we're fine. And we've got everybody in the studio.

Speaker 1 And Fancy's sitting in Rudy's chair and he's far away from the mic, just like she does. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fancy there. We said on a previous episode that Fancy was sex trafficking geriatric people.
Yeah, we said we were gone in the other episode because that's what you were up to.

Speaker 1 I thought that was our secret.

Speaker 1 We were just kidding around. The way he said it.
I started with a thing.

Speaker 1 Did you know that? We said you got extradited to Spain, but now you're back. I'm back.
I'm back. How are you feeling, Fance? I'm good.
I feel a little strange here.

Speaker 1 In that chair, you don't like that chair? No, I like it. It's an expensive chair.

Speaker 1 It's a very expensive chair.

Speaker 1 You better like it. That costs.
West Elm. Where'd you guys go? East Elm.
Ooh.

Speaker 1 Far East Elm. Far East Elm.
Yeah, that chair is from right outside of Wuhan. There's a factory outside of Wuhan that makes good chairs.
You ever been over there? East Elm. Wuhan? East Elm.

Speaker 1 Have I ever been to Wuhan? No. No, I haven't.
It's been to you. No, I've never gotten it.
You have had COVID, there's no doubt. No, we said this last time.
I don't. You You brought it to my friend.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you brought it to me.

Speaker 1 Well, I didn't. Donny Tsunami, who's sitting in the back, did.
Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 What's the main attraction in Wuhan other than the labs? You know what's funny? Yellow crane tower. Oh, the yellow crane tower.
That actually looks awesome.

Speaker 1 I don't appreciate that yet. Would you go to Wuhan with the crane tower? Would you go? I'd change the color.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I'd change the color.

Speaker 1 Yellow.

Speaker 1 I'd go to Wuhan now. I bet you it's as safe as ever.
100%. What's that lake called they got there? Dong Lake.
Dong Lake. Took out the first photo of Dong Lake.
Dong Lake. Wow.
Nice.

Speaker 1 How pretty that is. Look at that.
Nice Dong.

Speaker 1 Nice Dong Lake. It's got a big Dong.

Speaker 1 You can't even go to China right now, Papa. I can.
I don't think we can. I can.
Why? I know a couple guys. You can get into China? 100%.

Speaker 1 I go down to the port of Long Beach. I sneak inside one of those crates.
I'm in China a day. Do you...

Speaker 1 Yeah, probably. Yeah.
Your merchant on that crate? I know Longshoreman. Yeah, my merch comes from China.
Remember, I just backtracked where my merch came from.

Speaker 1 You can't, you know, people were doing a lot of comedy shows in in China before the Weezer hit, and now, and now it's.

Speaker 1 No, people are doing stand-up in China big time, yeah, because there's a lot of Americans there, expats that live there, or English-speaking people that live there. So you could go out.

Speaker 1 There was a guy who ran a comedy show there. You could go an American comedy?

Speaker 1 My friend Jared Free did it. He said it was awesome.
I know him. Yeah, Jared Free did it.
He said it was awesome. What? But now, yeah, now it's locked down, baby.
Wow. Can't go.

Speaker 1 I bet you fancy he doesn't know what expats mean. Do you know what it is? Yes.
What is it? It means people who are

Speaker 1 in China who are from America. Nope.
Nope. Expats are just, they're all over the world.
Expats is someone who is a resident.

Speaker 1 They moved out of the country, but they're still patriot. Expats.
Expatriates. Are you a patriot? I will be soon.
When is the citizenship test coming?

Speaker 1 They said anytime between three months and 12 months. You know, so he's taking his citizenship test.
And have you done questions yet on the show? Oh, yeah, 100%. Okay.
Yeah, and you know what?

Speaker 1 He failed almost all of them. All of them.
You know who else did? Me and Bobby. I didn't get one right.

Speaker 1 Look, can I just see if you, because I just want to see, I'll look at you, because I just, I couldn't. Because you're a history guy.
I'm a history guy, but I want to see if even I can,

Speaker 1 if I'm willing, if I'm an American citizen or not, just read me one. I won't look at the answer.
Or maybe I can. No, don't.
Look at me. Don't cheat.
How about this?

Speaker 1 Well, what is an amendment? What is an amendment? An amendment is a ratification to the Constitution. It's a change or an addition.
Change or an addition. I'll give you 50 50 on it.

Speaker 1 I said, okay, I tried to be smarter. It's just a change.
What do we call the first 10 amendments to the Constitution? The Bill of Rights. Ooh, he's on fire.

Speaker 1 How many amendments does the Constitution have?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that you don't know. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Speaker 1 27? Wow. Wow.
What are the two rights in the Declaration of Independence? The two rights?

Speaker 1 Freedom of speech? Nope. Oh, two rights? Wait, two rights.
What are two rights? Two of the three rights.

Speaker 1 Of the Declaration of Independence.

Speaker 1 Two rights.

Speaker 1 Right to have slaves.

Speaker 1 They never had to erase that.

Speaker 1 Everyone's like, well, I guess that's gone. No, they're like, no, no, no, no.
Keep it. Yeah, keep it.
Oh, two rights.

Speaker 1 Slavery was on a post at no. Freedom of the press? Nope.
Ooh. Don't covet your name his wife.
That's in there.

Speaker 1 If you're going to covet or covet it all, I'll cover it all. I actually don't know.
What are they? Life, puberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Ah, got it.
Got it. Okay.

Speaker 1 I didn't realize that's the triple right. All right, one more, one more, and then one more.
All right, one more, and that's it. What stops one branch of government from becoming too powerful?

Speaker 1 Checks and balances.

Speaker 1 It's so funny because the fans think that you're an idiot, but you're not. Yeah.
How about this one?

Speaker 1 Name one right only for United States citizens. Name one person on the right?

Speaker 1 Chris Distefeno.

Speaker 1 Wait, what was it? Name one right for only U.S. citizens.
Name one right for only U.S. citizens.
There's two of them. Yeah, what are the one? If you're born in the United States,

Speaker 1 you're a legal citizen.

Speaker 1 You got a passport? Voting. Voting.
And what's the other one? You can. You can.
If you're born here, you can

Speaker 1 run for federal office. Run for federal office.
I think someone's going to get their citizenship. Wow.
Fancy's going to get it. So you're going to have dual citizenship fans? Yeah.

Speaker 1 España? What passport are you going to put above the other one? Are you going to put Spain on top of the United States? Depending on which country I am.

Speaker 1 Whose side do you take in that? And what a fair weather fan. In the España fight.
Are you in Catalonia or the other ones? The other ones. You're not Catalonia.
No. Is Catalonia without?

Speaker 1 He's a fancy, fancy name. Texas, you know.
I was going to say, is Catalonia like the alt-right of Spain? No, it's not, but they are the separatists.

Speaker 1 They want to be separate. Right.
Texas still to this day wants to.

Speaker 1 Every year they try to remove themselves from the United States, and every year it gets shot down. It doesn't make the news, but it's like a thing to, like, every year they say we want to be separate.

Speaker 1 And every year we're like, you can't, stupid. But why? Let them go.
I think let them go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I want them to live. They want to be their own independent country.
I think if Texas was its own independent country, it'd be like the 10th largest economy in the world.

Speaker 1 California is the third largest economy in the world. In the world.
In the world. We're the third.

Speaker 1 China's one, right what say California type in California is what we're the sixth I thought it was the third in the world fifth there it is oh it did say fifth oh

Speaker 1 that's disgusting look at that three trillion bucks baby yeah most half of it's mine yeah the fifth largest economy ahead of the United Kingdom and just behind Germany wait a minute so California is bigger than the United Kingdom

Speaker 1 GDP yeah GDP wow but also look at the size look at the landmass size we're probably four United Kingdoms Seriously. It's the size of a Spain, California.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you crunched it into, if you curled it over, if you curled San Francisco into San Diego and made it a round ball, we'd be bigger than just the biggest Spain. Bigger than España.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But we've done less damage to the world than those scumbags have. No, but Spain was big pieces of shit

Speaker 1 in their time. Still.
The Invincible Armada, they were big pieces.

Speaker 1 The thing is, every country has had its day. Yeah, the Inquisition, especially.
The Inquisition? That's scumbags.

Speaker 1 I like that because we got rid of the Jews.

Speaker 1 No, I'm kidding.

Speaker 1 I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1 I was just kidding.

Speaker 1 We know, we know, fancy. No, but see,

Speaker 1 I wrote this article for the historians say, or Chris Destevano says, Inquisition, wasn't that bad?

Speaker 1 Was it that bad? That's the point we're at. We're questioning stuff like that.
Yeah, I mean, was it that bad? What's the big issue, really? So what? Holocaust. What's the cost? Was it that bad?

Speaker 1 You write an article, holla cost c-o-s-t question mark holla h-a-l-l-a-h holla cost holla hola cost what was it

Speaker 1 um that's not that's i mean look you guys were scumbags they were scum every country every the thing is america right now yes i understand people say declining empire and america's so bad we're just having our moment and but then the next country comes up and they'll do the same thing yeah england england was historically the worst country of all time.

Speaker 1 I mean, they killed fucking everybody, just a little tiny baby island. Just killed everybody.
They were a little COVID ball that was killing everybody.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 you know, they just were cute doing it. That's the key.
You're cute doing it. They had nice little red coats.
Well, they're tiny men.

Speaker 1 England are tiny men. They're tiny men and so they feel less threatening.

Speaker 1 Sorry, you know, because they can do that and get away with it.

Speaker 1 Did you? Oh, slavery. Yeah, we did it, but you know, my bad.

Speaker 1 Sorry. Unfortunately for you, you have to lose your head.

Speaker 1 It's nuts. Ooh, whoopsie.
Oh, whoopsie doodle. My bad.
Oh, sorry. Is it your sister I'm having my way with? All right.
Yeah, I had to disembowel her.

Speaker 1 It's Bollocks, I know. Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry.
The problem is, love, you're not white.

Speaker 1 It's not your fault. You've got too much pigmentation.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Off with your head.

Speaker 1 But, yeah, but so. These headings would have been tight to see, though.
Oh, my God, dude. Well, here's the thing is, is, you know, nobody popped off in medieval times.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 There was no, there was no Twitter, no TikTok, there was nobody. Think of how good TikTok would be in medieval times.
Oh, my God. It would just be whatever the state wants.

Speaker 1 You know, like you would just do, you cannot, I mean, the level of freedom that we have here, I mean, literally, I guarantee you, if I said, if I was President Biden and said, we're going to start, we're going to behead a TikToker, nobody would ever do anything again.

Speaker 1 It would just be done. Yeah.
We have too much freedom. There's no penalty for anything.
Yeah. And if there is, it's a wag of the finger.

Speaker 1 There's more of a penalty for saying something racist online now than doing something actually bad. Yeah, baby.

Speaker 1 Did you see that guy throw a milkshake at that girl, that young girl at the, what was that? It was like at a Jambaju's or something? Just you, Andrew Santino, hit someone with smoothie. Look.

Speaker 1 She fucked up my fucking smoothie. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Uh-oh.
Jasmine's calling me. Oh, no.
Should we pick it up? Yeah, answer. Oh.

Speaker 1 She sent me a COVID test. Is that negative or positive? Here we go.
I don't know. I can't tell.
Wait, hold on. Is this one negative or positive? Wait, let me see.
Is that negative or positive?

Speaker 1 pregnancy? She's positive. No, not her.
I think it's my kid. Because that little line, to see the blurry line? If it's blurry, it's positive.
So, who's got Cove? Two lines positive, one line negative.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's positive. Oh, baby.
Wait a minute. Who does? I don't know.
Maybe one of my kids. Lilas? I hope not.
Let me call her. Let's call and find out who's got Cove.
Who's got COVID?

Speaker 1 Welcome back to Who's Got COVID? Yeah. Who is it? I'll see.
Hold on. This is good.

Speaker 1 You never get it, but you're around it. I'm always around it.
That's a. Well, maybe he just can't read the tests.

Speaker 1 yeah yeah i know

Speaker 1 he's like two lines two lines means good

Speaker 1 two red lines hey

Speaker 1 hey whose test is that

Speaker 1 oh so is that positive

Speaker 1 but how

Speaker 1 They just yelled out positive in the in the doctor's office? Positive! Oh my god.

Speaker 1 Well, here, let me go. But she's okay, though, right? She feels fine.

Speaker 1 What did the doctor say?

Speaker 1 What did the doctor say?

Speaker 1 Right. All right, you know what? So, but what are you guys going to do now?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I'm the podcast, so I was just stopped down for a second.

Speaker 1 But I saw that. I was like, I want to make sure everything is okay.
So let me, so let me.

Speaker 1 I'm dramatic. You just sent me a positive call.
I didn't know what it was. I don't know if it was a pregnancy test or COVID test.
I think that I've been reading our COVID test wrong.

Speaker 1 I think I've had it multiple times.

Speaker 1 You should have. If you would have told me that was a pregnancy test, I would have been like, I guess we're having another one.

Speaker 1 As a matter of fact, the fact that one of my kids does have COVID now is I would demand a paternity test at this point because I don't believe any of my children can get COVID. Check the blood.

Speaker 1 You think I have COVID right now? I do feel achy. Oh, great.

Speaker 1 I look COVID-y. Sorry, Andrew.

Speaker 1 Andrew's like, not again.

Speaker 1 All right, let me go. I'll call you in about 45 minutes.

Speaker 1 All right, bye.

Speaker 1 Well, that's good. But it's fine, you know.
Now I'm nervous. Now I'm like, kids should wear masks.
Well, she's going to be okay. No, she's been all right.

Speaker 1 She had a fever last week, but we kept giving her COVID tests, but they were negative. But I do think now that in hindsight, maybe I have been reading them wrong the whole time.

Speaker 1 Because I was like positive. I would see positive, a big plus, and I'd be like, that's thumbs up.
You don't have it. They were like, you're positive, you don't have it.

Speaker 1 Well, positive means you don't have it.

Speaker 1 The plus means you don't have it. Yeah, well, because if you're positive, it's like you're positive, you're good.
Yeah. And negative means it's negative.
It means you have it. Bad.
Right. That's bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Stay positive.
Stay positive. Be negative.
Be negative. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because, yeah, because when I looked at that result, I was like, this is negative, right? And then she's like, that's a positive. Yeah, that line is so faint.
That's a faint blue.

Speaker 1 So that means that it's not really that big of it. Low viral load.
Low viral load. Low viral load.
Yeah. All right.
So she's good. She's fine.
This guy's wife works in a hospital. She knows.

Speaker 1 She's a doctor. Epidemiologist.
It's the same thing. Epidemiologist is the one you want.
She's the one that studies the virus. Right.
Yeah. She's

Speaker 1 a low viral load if it's a light blue line. Right.
A thin blue line, which is what we fucking support over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And a little bit of red sneaking through right over the border. As a matter of fact, I like that COVID test.
That's what I want my daughter. She supports a thin.

Speaker 1 Dominant red, little bit of blue in her. Yeah, so you know what? That she's a Distefano.

Speaker 1 Why do they make the lead? They make those lines red and then a little bit of blue. Yeah.
They want to let you know who you really are.

Speaker 1 That's what that test is for, to find out if you're a Dem or a Rib. Well,

Speaker 1 yeah, that, and it's also, you know, it's red, white, and blue. She's an American citizen.
God bless. She was born and raised in this.
God damn it. God bless.
God bless you. Yeah, his wife

Speaker 1 is a beautiful, smart professional. And look at this guy.
I know. It's unbelievable.
Is she from Spain? No. No.
She's Americano. White? Real American.
South Carolina. She's from South Carolina.

Speaker 1 South Carolina? Yeah. Yeah.
But if you marry her, you can just get the citizenship, right? You don't have to get it on your own. He is married.
They are married.

Speaker 1 Oh, but aren't you then automatically a citizen? No.

Speaker 1 You still have to apply and do all that stuff. But I thought if you married, I thought that's why people did that.

Speaker 1 They married foreigners, you know, like a guy would marry a foreign woman to get the papers. Isn't that a thing? Like, you can't get thrown out of the country anymore.
Right. They tried, I know.

Speaker 1 You can't. After all that geriatric trafficking that he was doing.
Even that, they couldn't deport you. I'm going to find a way.

Speaker 1 No, you get married, but you still, I I think there's still, you still have to.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you have to be married for a number of years. Yeah, a number of years, and you have to apply.
It's not as easy as they make it sound. It's not like, oh, you're in, you're done.
Got it.

Speaker 1 But he wants to become a naturalized citizen. He wants to become one of us.

Speaker 1 Okay. A real one.
A real American. A real one?

Speaker 1 I don't think you can do that. You weren't born here.
You've got to be born into it like a Hasidic Jew. Let him have it.
I could be like Arnold. I could be governor.
Yeah, he could be governor now.

Speaker 1 That'd be nice if you were governor. I know.
I'd vote for you.

Speaker 1 I want my governor to have bangs.

Speaker 1 And a cool accent. Yeah, you do have a cool accent.
I think the Spanish accent is very cool. And you don't have the Lisp.
How come you don't have the Lisp? I do have it. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But what, when you grow up in Hispania, do they ever talk about the Lisp and how people will say things about it? Or you just think that everybody speaks like that? Right.

Speaker 1 You think everybody else speaks wrong. Yeah, because by the time you realize that you're the one that sounds like an idiot, you're like, I can't change that now.

Speaker 1 Because it's already in your brain. What am I supposed to do?

Speaker 1 This is who I am. This is who I will be.

Speaker 1 He doesn't have the S in the front that I'm doing.

Speaker 1 This thing he does not have. Yeah, you don't have the...

Speaker 1 It's usually so clear.

Speaker 1 He comes from...

Speaker 1 Yeah, the more monies you have, the less S you have. And if you're poor,

Speaker 1 then it's big. Then it's big.
If the more broke you are, the bigger the S is. Do you,

Speaker 1 because Spain is like the top, like they're like the big ones. Like they're like the Britain of the Latino population.

Speaker 1 Like you look down upon all the other ones, like, ooh, the little roaches, cocorachas, get out. Cocorachillas.
Cocorachillas. Like, you don't want to go near Ecuador.

Speaker 1 No, you don't want that. You look at that.
Guatemala? No, thank you. No, thank you.
No, gracias. Because you're European, so even the type of Spanish you speak is the proper.

Speaker 1 Like how a British person would be like, oh, Pyrmen propa, that's your Spanish.

Speaker 1 That's how we sound too. So from somebody like uh, you know, my girl's family's Puerto Rican, they would be listening to you speak Spanish and be like, Oh, he sounds very proper with his Spanish

Speaker 1 because my you know, kids' family is like,

Speaker 1 you know, like they're fucking like they go, they call a bus, oh, oh,

Speaker 1 oh, oh, they're like, oh, the guagua. And then, uh, I didn't know this, but Jasmine, she said, her mom said, Oh, the guagua, whatever.

Speaker 1 And Jasmine said, Hey, like, we're out, like, in what we were like in New York. She was like, There's, we're around like a lot of tourists.

Speaker 1 Like, if someone's from Spain here, they're going to think you're an idiot. And she was like, I don't give a shit.
I'll do whatever the fuck I want to do.

Speaker 1 I'll be me.

Speaker 1 her mom is crazy i don't give a

Speaker 1 she's i go around me be she's like let them talk to me she goes i don't even know where spain be at

Speaker 1 she goes i don't know david spain

Speaker 1 do some magic for me david spain

Speaker 1 chime you know when i was younger um i was terrible at banking i was confused so bad overdraft charges yeah i just didn't know how to handle my money i didn't know how to manage it and also no one was there to help But Chime understands that every dollar counts.

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Speaker 1 Better help. Hey, we've talked about BetterHelp on the show a lot.
We are big proponents of mental health on the show. I personally use professional counseling, which this is.

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Speaker 1 Yeah, she's like, I don't care. No, he's our fancy.
He's our fancy. Fancy, baby.
No, I love it.

Speaker 1 Are you guys ever considering doing an episode in Spain or going to Spain to his hometown? We want to go to Spain and shoot a movie. Are we going to do it? We're going to try to.

Speaker 1 We're going to try our very hardest on it. I would like to do it.

Speaker 1 I think that's the move now, right? We might as well just try to shoot the movies ourselves.

Speaker 1 I think that's the move.

Speaker 1 Because otherwise, we're going to have 10 executive meetings with people who don't really want to do it. No, let's just shoot it, and then you guys do it.

Speaker 1 And then if there's a par for old Chrissy Banks, I fly over Economy Middle Seat.

Speaker 1 You're going to have to get a ticket without without a seat. Or it's assigned to you at the gate.
I stand up. I hold onto the railing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sir, please sit down. This is my seat.
Yeah. You just have to hang.

Speaker 1 That's probably

Speaker 1 when it's going to come down to the city. Ryan Air tried that twice, and the EU shut them down.
Ryan Air did standing seats. Ryan Air did standing seats.
They wanted to do that.

Speaker 1 They wanted to do just one pilot, the standing seats.

Speaker 1 It's changing. Just one pilot is nuts.
I mean, if you fucking get a heart attack or something,

Speaker 1 just one pilot's the craziest thing I've ever heard in my life. Why not? So chip, so chip.
Like, you can fly with me. But Ryanair, yeah.
But Ryanair, the flights are like 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 Have you done it, Ryanair? Yeah, that's how I flew around. That's how I got around Europe when I was there.
That's how you get around Europe. It's the easy, and you said it's like 20 bucks.

Speaker 1 They fill the tank just enough so they can do emergency landings. So they got, they, they,

Speaker 1 everything is calculated.

Speaker 1 So, and, and, but there's people then in Europe that they fly country to country daily, like Ryan Air. Sure, yeah, but it's just going from here to Arizona.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, It's like, yeah, they're all 40, 40 minutes flights. Like, if you go to, I went England to France or England to Spain.
It's quick. You see? It's an hour.
Wow. Yeah, it's amazing.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Europe is a mini little, it's like Western United States. Right.

Speaker 1 That's how close it is. Like, the states in the western U.S.
are as big as the countries in Western Europe. Yeah, yeah.
No, I know. I've been to Europe.

Speaker 1 Except ours touch and not and not all their jazz touches because they got a bunch of water coming. A bunch of water.
There's a bunch of water over there.

Speaker 1 But the thing is with Europe, they're more cultured and they sound smarter and better and are more cultured because the countries, it's all different cultures and languages.

Speaker 1 So, are we? No, but you drive 3,000 miles in any direction because everyone's speaking English, pretty much. But that's the only thing, yeah,

Speaker 1 except if you go down to Mexico,

Speaker 1 or you ever been down to Louisiana?

Speaker 1 The bayou boys, man, they sound so different. They sound crazy.

Speaker 1 It sounds like that, and then you're like, gay, what? Yeah, gay?

Speaker 1 It sounds like that.

Speaker 1 It sounds like Waterboy. Remember Waterboy?

Speaker 1 That's what everybody sounds like down there. Do you think they're pro-vaccine?

Speaker 1 They don't even, they don't even make it way down there. No.
They said, I. Yeah, bad in there, man.

Speaker 1 Come down here, boy. I don't need none of that.
Boy, boy, come on, man. I ain't going to say we don't need a boy.

Speaker 1 And a needle goal stab, me gonna be H. Give me the H.

Speaker 1 Got that horse? I've never been to Louisiana. It's awesome.
Yeah. So dope.
I mean, New Orleans, at least, is where I went. And then I went shot guns and saw Gators.
Wow. Guns and Gators.

Speaker 1 We did a Guns and Gators day, dude. Yeah.
And then, you know, our boat got stuck in the swamp. I'm not kidding.
It was so fucking funny. We're driving around.
It's January as a buddy's bachelor party.

Speaker 1 We go shoot guns. We go take the boat out to go see Gators in the swamp.
We're drinking beers.

Speaker 1 And the dude that's operating it, who's just as fucked up as anybody else on it, who it's his job to like stay sober and get us back through the marsh and the swamps.

Speaker 1 And he's like, oh, man, this boat's done. This boat be done.
I was like, the boat's done. He's like, boat be done.
We just put it on the shore. We just got put up on the shore.

Speaker 1 And he's like, we're going to have to wait till someone else come back.

Speaker 1 I was like, call someone. He's like, ain't nobody they call.

Speaker 1 We got to wait.

Speaker 1 We just had to sit there and wait till somebody came by. And at any moment, you like a gator can come and chomp our boat in half.
I would just, at some point, I was like,

Speaker 1 what if it gets dark and now it's night? Now we're just sitting here all night in the fucking ship. So you just have to hopefully wait for another boat.
No, no, someone to come by.

Speaker 1 That's what he said. Someone to come by.
It was like an hour and a half. Nobody was even on the water at all.
And you had no fucking, no one had sell signal. We had no cell signal.

Speaker 1 You were in the middle of the water. Yeah.
If you would have gotten out and tried to swim to land, you're fucked. You would have been killed, eaten by a gator immediately.
The land is the water.

Speaker 1 It's the marsh, so it looks like you could step on shit, but you'll fall right through. It's the swamp.
Wow. Yeah.
Yeah. We just ran out of gas.
At the beginning, we're laughing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 25 minutes in, you're kind of chuckling, but it's weird. Half an hour, you're like, this is fucking.
Yeah. An hour, you're like, panic.
Yeah. Then an hour and a half you're like, fuck it.

Speaker 1 Then we just kept drinking. Right.
Because then what are you going to do?

Speaker 1 I might fall asleep, sweep in the swamp. Sweep in a swamp.
I might sweep in a swamp. And then what happened? Another boat came by and just you got on that boat.
Guy came by. Yeah.
Guy came by.

Speaker 1 He was like, oh, I'll go radio and ba-da-da-da-da.

Speaker 1 Guy came by. We got on that new boat.
They left the old boat and then they had to go get someone else to go tow it out. They just leave it there.
That captain should have gone down with the ship.

Speaker 1 He's a pussy, that captain. We just shot a hole in it and he just sinks into the swamp.
As he's sinking in, he just body starts. But it was fun by now.
Louisiana was fun.

Speaker 1 That's how I chipped my tooth. You see my tooth on the front? No.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I do.

Speaker 1 I chipped it on a crawfish shell.

Speaker 1 I was on mushrooms and we were eating a crawfish boil. And then the next morning, I went to get a po-boy sandwich, and the guy was like, I was playing with my tooth like this because I had a chip.

Speaker 1 And he goes, what's wrong with your tooth? And I was like, I chipped it on a crawfish shell. And he goes, oh, that's New Orleans.

Speaker 1 That's New Orleans. He was right, though, man.
I bit right through it. I chipped my fucking tooth in New Orleans.

Speaker 1 I took mushrooms for the first first time ever last week cat yeah did you do it on the pod i did it on the pod i did it on the patreon did you feel did you feel good patreon christy d patreon.com slash christy comedy um we did it for the five dollar level and up and uh i did it with uh gianni palo uh who's little brother christian we saw his mom last night we saw gian

Speaker 1 chris sent a text message to gianni

Speaker 1 and said best pre-sub we've ever had yeah he was pissed gianni was like he goes ha ha ha ha and then he sent me a text like an hour later he was like you really didn't hook up with my mom right I was like, yeah, we did.

Speaker 1 What are you talking about? What do you think you came to LA for? Yeah, dude. Why do you think I have you run on my TikTok? She's tiny.
She's a tiny. So is he.
So all her kids are tiny.

Speaker 1 They say, we took your mom to France. She saw the Eiffel Tower.
Oh,

Speaker 1 no. I took her to Printer Manj.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's a good dude. Yeah.

Speaker 1 After that, we banged your mom. He's a good dude.
Great guy. I really appreciate his love and support these last years.

Speaker 1 No, we did mushrooms. He took his shirt off.

Speaker 1 Jacked. He's on testosterone or clobuterol.
He's on some type of steroid openly. And it looks great.
And we took mushrooms.

Speaker 1 And it really, for me, was, it wasn't like a bug out experience, but I just feel very settled. I feel I've had the least amount of anxiety I've had in years has been this last week.

Speaker 1 How much mushrooms did you take? George is not enough because George is a big mushroom head. Are you a big mushroom guy? Big time.
Yeah, it's kind of hard now that I have a kid to

Speaker 1 get a day off to do mushrooms, but yeah. Look at this guy with a toothpick in his mouth, like he's a mafia member.
Who the fuck do you think you are?

Speaker 1 Caffeinate a toothpick. No, nicotine full.
No, is it really? Yeah. A nicotine toothpick? Yes, nicky way to get the nickel.
Give me one of those. All right.
Wow. Have you ever had a nicky toothpick?

Speaker 1 No. I want a nicky pick.

Speaker 1 It's just like it's like smoking a stoke.

Speaker 1 If they call them nickpicks, what are they called?

Speaker 1 If they don't, if they're not called nickpicks, I'm upset. No.
Zippix. Zippics.
Wow, how come they're not a sponsor? Well, they should be. They should be.
I'll try it. I've never done nicotine.

Speaker 1 It smells.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? You never smoked a cigarette in your life? Maybe once or twice. Really? Yeah.
What about a Stogie?

Speaker 1 Almost never.

Speaker 1 I've barely ever smoked weed. I don't really smoke anything.

Speaker 1 I miss smoking weed. I don't do as much anymore.
Hey, how much nicotine are in these things?

Speaker 1 Just two MGs. So what would that be, like one cigarette? I think less.

Speaker 1 What? Less than a cigarette? I think less or equal to.

Speaker 1 Do you like vapes? Have you ever hit a vape? Never hit a vape. Wow, I actually like this.
I could get addicted to this.

Speaker 1 Because it makes my bread. It's like a break mint.
Yeah, what is the flavoring on this, George? What does it say the flavoring is?

Speaker 1 This one's Spice Island Clove, but they got lots of flavor. I was going to say Spice Island.
It does smell like a clove. I was going to say it feels like I'm chewing on Rudy.

Speaker 1 American spirits are dirtbag cigarettes, right?

Speaker 1 That's what cool kids smoke because they're like American spirits are organic. Yeah, they're like all organic tobacco, and it's like fair trade.
They're stupid are people. They're like, it's organic.

Speaker 1 The cigarettes are raised right. Like it's just, you're smoking a cigarette.
Well, they're cage-free cigarettes. Cage-free cigarettes.
The farm-raised. You know what the difference is, though?

Speaker 1 I will say, if you're going to smoke, you might as well smoke tobacco that's not

Speaker 1 infused with other shit. Right.
So it's like a cigar is just tobacco. Okay.
I mean, a good cigar is going to be really good, high-end, just tobacco, right? Leaves.

Speaker 1 But then cigarettes, you get good tobacco, and then they put all sorts of, they put ammonia, they put piss, they put urine in it. They put piss in it.
They put piss in cigarettes?

Speaker 1 Politicians, they collect their piss from. Put in ciggy wiggies? Put it in the ciggy wiggies.
Holy shit. You know that they

Speaker 1 Pepsi is flavored by abortive fetuses. Is it really? Google it.
It's like a real conspiracy.

Speaker 1 Okay, zoom in.

Speaker 1 The chemical constant.

Speaker 1 Chemical constant.

Speaker 1 Scoot in on that. Zoom in on that, baby.
Up.

Speaker 1 Nicotine, carbon monoxide, arsenic. Setonin is in that nail polish remover? Yeah.
Yep. Tooline, methylamine.
Methylamine is what Gianni's on to get jacked. That's his standard.
Methylamine.

Speaker 1 Methylamine man. That's a new character.
Methylamine man. Yeah.
Just like a superhero jacked on meth. I'll fight crime all days of the night.
Week of the day. Well, I got a name for that guy.

Speaker 1 He was alive. Who was it? Adolf Hitler.
That was Methylene Man.

Speaker 1 Methylene man. Methylene man.

Speaker 1 He'll build a puzzle. Then he'll kill an entire race of people.
He's building a thousand-piece puzzle. Hold on one second.

Speaker 1 That's insane how bad cigarettes, how much stuff is in there. Disgusting.
But I guess that's the deal, right? Isn't that the Irish Cancer Society? The Cancer Society's. It would be us, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Here's all the stuff that's inside cigarettes. Not our cigarettes.

Speaker 1 But what's the difference? American Spirits are just tobacco, right? With no additives. Is that true? Or are they just.

Speaker 1 I think hippies smoke them because they think it's like a nigga. The brand American Spirit is now owned by R.J.
Reynolds. Ammonia, formaldehyde, pepper spray,

Speaker 1 ethyl alcohol, lead, isoprol alcohol, vinyl chloride, vinyl chloride. That's a band name.
I was going to say.

Speaker 1 Wait a minute, though. Formaldehyde.
That's what they ferment bodies in, right? Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 Ammonia. Dude, I knew a kid that smoked that.

Speaker 1 Smoked formaldehyde? It's called getting wet. Have you guys ever heard of this? Really? No one's heard of this? Type in getting wet.
This is urban dictionary. And then type in

Speaker 1 Pepsi flavored by board of fetuses.

Speaker 1 I made a couple of Pepsis in my day.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Ready Refreshed by Nestle. Hold on.

Speaker 1 Speaker. Hello? This is Ready Refresh, your beverage delivery.
Yeah, I'm trying to fucking cancel your service for three months.

Speaker 1 Please note. Delivery is a good one.
Oh, it's a fucking robot.

Speaker 1 Fuck you.

Speaker 1 I've been trying to cancel Ready Refresh by the bottom of the bottom. Imagine if that's a real guy.

Speaker 1 Imagine if that was a real guy. It's your Ready Refresh here when you're, and fuck you.
And he's like, gosh, Jarness.

Speaker 1 Everyone thinks I'm a robot. They don't take me serious.

Speaker 1 Getting wet. Camp, New Jersey, man accused of murdering six-year-old boy, critically wounding 12.

Speaker 1 His sister was on combination of PCP and marijuana, a drug sometimes called wet at the time of the crime, according to local. Right.
Okay, that's what it is. Getting wet is PCP in your marijuana.

Speaker 1 Was that you just ripping a fire?

Speaker 1 I didn't even do it into the mic. My God.
You picked that up on the mic. These guys got good mics.
Well, those chairs have fart,

Speaker 1 we've got fart reverberators on them, so they're plugged right into the mic. No, because I didn't even try to get it.
That's what's getting wet is PCP inside a weed.

Speaker 1 But I thought people dipped for Bluntson for Maldehyde. I thought that was a thing.
It's like training day, too. Denzel says, Teeth and Hawk.
Oh, that's you getting wet.

Speaker 1 I didn't know you like to get wet. That's exactly.
Thank you. Thank you, Carlos.
See? King Carlos? Training day. King Kong does have shit on me.
One time I saw Ethan Hawk at the airport, right?

Speaker 1 In New York. I saw him at the airport, and we were on the same flight.
I was like, that's weird.

Speaker 1 And then I came back like two weeks later from LA, and Ethan Hawk was on my flight going back to New York. I was like, that's fucking weird.

Speaker 1 I was like, I was like, what's going on, E-Hawk? I was like, we keep seeing each other in the airport. He was like, skirty.

Speaker 1 He just keeps flying back and forth from New York to L.A. every single day.
Every day. Just so people see him on a flight.

Speaker 1 There was a story about a dad once who his daughter was a flight attendant and he barely saw her. So for like a week, he just took all her flights.
Wherever she goes, he just sat on her flight.

Speaker 1 I was like, what a stupid thing. Lose her dad.
I was like, let me tell you something. Well, he's trying to make up for all those years.
I was going to say that Danny couldn't make up for the times.

Speaker 1 He used to beat the shit out of her mother in front of her.

Speaker 1 You got daddy issues now? I'm on every flight. Yeah, and they wrote it up like this whole nice news article.
Like, what a good dad. I was like, he's making up for scumbag shit he did.

Speaker 1 I'd be like, what are you talking about? If you're a good president father, it's like, I'm not going in fucking flights to Detroit with my exhaust. Just come home.
Yeah, come home.

Speaker 1 By the way, I don't know what's going on with flight attendants lately, but the attitude is through the fucking roof.

Speaker 1 You got a tude from a flight attendant? Lately, almost every flight I get on there, just in a bad mood.

Speaker 1 You know what I've noticed, and this, I don't, whatever, wherever the flight attendants are coming from, wherever they're based out of, that's what dictates if they're going to enforce the mask rule or not.

Speaker 1 When I flew out here,

Speaker 1 when I flew, I flew from New York to Florida, they didn't give a shit. I had my mask off the entire flight.
As soon as I got the first beverage, entire flight, nobody said anything. They didn't,

Speaker 1 when we were flying from Florida to California, I guess it was an LA-based,

Speaker 1 they, in between sips, they had, it had to be on my chin. If I, if I pulled it on my ear, she would say, it has in between sips, sir.
In between sips, sir. I was like, oh my God.

Speaker 1 You know what it's flying to? This is a first-hand account. About three, four months ago, I forgot where I was flying from.

Speaker 1 I've never seen this i was flying first class and uh new york to boston and um no i was flying first class short flight

Speaker 1 new new york to philly and um

Speaker 1 and uh you know they take your jackets right they take your jackets and and hang them up whatever you know polite stuff so we're you know landing or whatever and the woman uh flight attendant she goes um she goes gives the guy his jacket back you know and he goes there's a crease in this like he was being such a dick he was like there's a crease in this.

Speaker 1 He goes, What the fuck did you do to my jacket? And she was like, Sir, she was like, I, you know, I folded it up. She was like, I'm sorry, you know, we're going to be landing soon.

Speaker 1 You know, if you'd like to make a report or whatever, you know, you know, being like so professional.

Speaker 1 And I was like, well, I saw, at first, I wasn't listening to the beginning, but then I took my headphones out. I was like, this is getting like pretty heated.

Speaker 1 And then the guy goes, I can't believe I fly this yellow time. Look, you crease my crease my jacket.
Kept going on. And then something snapped.
This is a first-hand account.

Speaker 1 This was not told to me by someone. I witnessed every moment of this.
I I saw it.

Speaker 1 I wish I was recording it, but I was just so shocked in the moment.

Speaker 1 You know, he's still yelling. And she goes, she finally goes, she goes, sure, sir, shut the fuck up.
I swear to God.

Speaker 1 She goes, sir, shut the fuck up and sit down. She goes, shut.
And then the other flight attendant came and tried to

Speaker 1 get in. I was like, all right.
And then she went and sat in her bucket seat because I had the angle.

Speaker 1 When you're sitting in the first class, you something you could see. See them, yeah.
I could see her sitting in the bucket seat and she's like, this fucking scum. Like she was, like

Speaker 1 And then he walked out, like, he, like, you know, zoomed past her, and she eye-squirled him the whole way. Like, she was not like, I'm sorry, like, she didn't come to her senses.
Good for her, though.

Speaker 1 She was like, You shut the fuck up and stay seated, sir.

Speaker 1 Good for her. And I was like, fuck that, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and it was almost to the point where I swear to God, like, the people around us, we almost like started clapping for the flight because he was being such a dick. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, well, sometimes they are, but that's my thing: I'm always so polite and nice, but sometimes you catch an attitude from them. Yeah.
Like, I was nice on the flight to

Speaker 1 St. Louis and

Speaker 1 American has stopped doing like certain food services now, you know, because of all this bullshit. But the woman, I know,

Speaker 1 she gets a coffee. Yeah.
And then I politely said, is there a meal service on this flight? Because I didn't know if there was. I'm genuinely asking.

Speaker 1 She goes, I'll get it to you after I serve everyone a drink. And I was like, no, I was just asking.
I didn't know if there was one. She goes, yes, there is.
After I can I do all the drinks.

Speaker 1 And I was like,

Speaker 1 okay,

Speaker 1 you fucking bitch.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was being so nice.

Speaker 1 But I think the thing is, like, they've dealt with so much bullshit. It's not like it used to be.
Years ago,

Speaker 1 they were all in such a good mood. I know.
Because their money was probably better, their hours weren't as insane. Now they're overworked and underpaid.
So they're like, fuck you.

Speaker 1 Here's your jacket, you fucking piece of idiot. That's what the head should have.
You know, Ed DeBevix, do you know what that is? No. There's a restaurant in Chicago where they were mean to you.

Speaker 1 Bring up Ed DeBevix. Part of the service was they were an asshole to you.
That's fun. That's funny.
They go, here's your steak, fat ass. And they walk away.

Speaker 1 My dad used to be like, you should get a job at the bed. It should be perfect for it.
Perfect for it. But that's the deal.
You're supposed to be a bully.

Speaker 1 A lot of like second city people and stuff like that work their improv kids. Why'd they close it down? I guess you can in this climate, right? It's kind of hard.

Speaker 1 You throw a couple racial slurs, you get

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Buffy.

Speaker 1 Hey, we've talked about Buffy so much on the show. It's the one thing that Bobby always says that I did right for Bobby.
I've done a lot right for Bobby. But this is incredible.

Speaker 1 Buffy is this cloud comforter. It's covered in super soft eucalyptus fabric filled with fluffy fiber made from 100% recycled bottles.
All right. So we can't complain anymore, Greta Thunberg.

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I do love it so much. I have it on the beds, plural.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I have a couple of beds in my house, and I got them on all of them. The cloud comforter is covered in ultra-breathable eucalyptus fabric.
It's softer than cotton. It's sustainable.

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And come on, dude. You want to be comfy and not overheat at night? Huh? Buffy is the way.

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It doesn't harm no geese harmed. That's what it should say on there.
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Come on. What are you doing? What do you have to lose?

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No way. Tweet at us if you don't like it because I won't believe you anyway.
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No, they still might be open. I have no idea.
Dude, Jeff.

Speaker 1 Are they still there? Does it say it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's open. They're still open? Oh, at the Bevick.
Yeah, but now they're going to be PC when they're mean to you. Oh, God.
Yeah, here's your steak, you cis white male. And everyone's like, oh,

Speaker 1 bang! Bang. I bet you voted Democrat.
Oh!

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 they used to be mean to you. What is this? Oh, see? I'll leave you money so you can figure out how to leave me a decent tip, okay? Because right now I have no prayer at all.

Speaker 1 You know what, Grandpapa is nice to you. I get canned, okay? If you want good service, you go somewhere else.
I know Hooters is probably more yours to me. This is how unfortunate this is.

Speaker 1 This made the news back in 2015 because people are like, oh, a mean server. They've been doing this for like 50 fucking years.

Speaker 1 They've been doing this for so long, but now people are like, huh? How could you say that? That's crazy.

Speaker 1 It's on the internet. Can you believe she would say that? Dude, they've been doing that for, and they used to be mean to you.
And I don't know if you're not.

Speaker 1 Don't they do it at the Wiener Circle too in Chicago, aren't they? Wow, too.

Speaker 1 Or is that just not even an act? That's not an act. That's like they work at the DMV.
You know, you just make a video of the Wiener Circle. I went there when I shot my special on the head.
The

Speaker 1 this is these three beautiful, large black women, and they say, well, because look, they deal with little college kids all the time up there, right?

Speaker 1 So drunk ass college kids, they started lighting them up, and that's kind of part of the culture over there. What you want, you little small dick piece of shit.
You're like, hot dogs.

Speaker 1 She's like, shut the fuck up. And you get your hot dog.
It's a good hot dog. Shut up, Tyler.
Shut up, Cassidy. Yo, bitch ass.

Speaker 1 Little vaccinated bitch ass. Joe vaccinated bitch ass.
Come on, bitch. Bean.
This motherfucker got boosters. You know, he got two boosters.
This motherfucker.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, they do. They light you up at the Wiener Circle.
But that's, again,

Speaker 1 that's not. That wasn't the history of the restaurant.
Yeah, that's. And DeBevix's whole joke was.
That's like Dick's Last Resort. Don't they do that at that restaurant?

Speaker 1 But that's more of like a chain of it. Like

Speaker 1 they light you up at Dick's Last Resort and they write, like they give you like big pole pats and they write like you're a piece of shit on it. They should do that.

Speaker 1 They should have a Dick's Last Flight. Dick's Last Flight.
I'm doing an airline. Dick's airline.
Oh,

Speaker 1 dude. Yeah, I'm like, whatever.

Speaker 1 I'm like a pothole. What?

Speaker 1 If you fly JetBlue, JetBlue is the only one giving like full-service meals like it was in 2019. Everybody else,

Speaker 1 I flew Delta out here and the lady sitting, dude, the lady sitting next to me in Delta shoes. This is pretty funny, too.

Speaker 1 The flight attendant was nice about it, but the woman goes, she goes, you know, whatever says the choices of the breakfast. And she goes, do you have anything with green?

Speaker 1 Like, I'm looking for something with green. And the flight attendant was like all our food is in a box

Speaker 1 you want a salad bitch wait till you land yeah that's all all our food is in a box um and then when i was flying from new york to tampa here i sat next to a pilot you know like sometimes pilots yeah and i i swear dude i swear to god we were like an hour and a half into the flight and he he's like looking out the window and like i saw him like looking and he goes this plane don't sound good and i was like really like he was like i think it's gonna be fine but they need to it don't sound good And I was like, whoa, I swear to God.

Speaker 1 And I was like, really? And then I asked him, it was kind of struck up a conversation for literally two minutes. But I asked him, because this was the flight to Tampa, nobody was wearing a mask.

Speaker 1 I said, do you guys wear masks in the cockpit? He goes, I never wore a mask once in the cockpit. Yeah, why would he? Yeah, it's just him and one of the guys.
Yeah, they take it right off immediately.

Speaker 1 Well, here's the irony about the mask thing. I don't want to get too deep into that because who cares?

Speaker 1 But it's weird that they're like, you wear a mask when you're sitting still, just breathing usually out your nose, you know? Yeah. Which is like, I mean, you know, how much stuff now.

Speaker 1 But when you're eating, you're like,

Speaker 1 there's all this shit getting into the air. It's so fucking good.
It's the weirdest time that they're like, take off your mask while you're eating. You're like,

Speaker 1 burping and spitting food out of your mouth. But they're like, no, no, no.
It has to be when you're sitting still breathing out of your nose. Donnie was telling me a story.

Speaker 1 I don't even remember this, like a few months ago when they did the mask mandate. Southwest pilots were like, yeah, we're just not going to fly the flights.

Speaker 1 And then Southwest had to reverse their mask mandate because the pilots were like, yeah, we're just not doing it because we're all hicks. Well, yeah, but I mean, Southwest, you know, Southwest.

Speaker 1 Dude, Southwest, honestly, man, the bus in the sky. Every time I've flown Southwest, it's a great experience.
The Wi-Fi is fantastic. I get mad leg room.

Speaker 1 Everything's good. Always good with Southwest.
Spirit Airlines is a fucking piece of shit.

Speaker 1 I've never flown it once. Never flown Spirit.
We should do, that's what we should do. Fly Spirit and Die.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's all I'll get to boost y'all. Let me fly Spirit, no mask.

Speaker 1 Does Spirit go overseas? They don't fly overseas. Oh, they'll never make it.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They run out of gas.
Oh, dude. They'll never make it.
Does Spirit go overseas?

Speaker 1 Spirit Airlines, 47 domestic, and 28 international destinations in 18 countries.

Speaker 1 Hey, let's go to Aruba, Colombia, Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, Ecuador, El Salvador, Guatemala. They go to all the, they all go to all his countries.

Speaker 1 Any Central or South America airlines, whenever you go to LAX and you go past the terminal, you can tell that they make them bring their own tape in case something falls apart.

Speaker 1 That's like, you know, you know, I was watching the thing. You ever seen like airline disasters or some shit? You know, that show like Worst.
Oh, yeah. I was watching once about like Korean air.

Speaker 1 And like in Korea, you cannot, if you are, you know, the, the, whatever, assistant pilot, what are they called? What's that's the main co-pilot?

Speaker 1 If you're the co-pilot, you cannot, you cannot ever direct your superior ever. And so, what do you mean, like if he makes a mistake, you can't say that? So,

Speaker 1 everybody died on this flight because the, the, you know, they had like the, you know, black box recorder, this guy, the, the, the, uh, pilot was flying directly into a fucking mountain.

Speaker 1 And all the co-pilot had to do was, you know, you know, excuse me.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think I used this at a mountain.

Speaker 1 That's all, that's all he had to do. Mountain? Mountain.
Just one word. He was afraid to say say it.
But he says over the black box, he goes, whatever.

Speaker 1 He was like,

Speaker 1 the pilot is going to fly into a mountain. He goes, so, Sig, I want you to tell my wife and kids I love it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like you didn't do it. Oh, my God.
That was the only thing they had. That's how they do.
And they weren't laughing about our airlines.

Speaker 1 It's just like, unfortunately, in their culture, I was like, what the fuck? What do you mean?

Speaker 1 You can't even make a situation. He couldn't.
So he just, the guy, the pilot was just driving. He was like, skies look great.
And then he just flew right into a fucking.

Speaker 1 And the other co-pilot was like, that's a Mount Fuji. You're going to hit.
And then that was his last words. He goes, just tell my wife and kids I love them.

Speaker 1 Because the pilot just flew it right into it. It was his Malcolm Gladwell's Cockpit Culture Theory and the Asiana Crash.
That's what it was. Oh, so okay, so there you go.
Malcolm Gladwell.

Speaker 1 What a good lady Malcolm Gladwell is. The story is from one of his books, though.
What'd you say? The story of the Korean air

Speaker 1 is in one of his books. Okay.
Yeah, he's. I'm sorry, I don't read it.

Speaker 1 They made all Korean pilots learn English so that they wouldn't have like the, because the language is so hierarchical in Korea. What do you mean?

Speaker 1 Like, the pilots had to learn English to communicate in English to each other because of the hierarchy of the Korean language wouldn't allow them to like talk to their superiors but English is just you you you he doesn't know what hierarchy means you got that that's a that's a funny yeah patriarchy yeah there's only one yeah there's only one archie over here baby patriarchy I'm Archie Bunker

Speaker 1 yeah no they had to learn English so they because they because they had an ability to speak to each other at a similar uh it's crazy dude if you look at like other cultures like you know if I was you know meeting, you know, my girl's father, um, uh, you know, you in America, you have to look them in their eye, or it's disrespectful.

Speaker 1 In Asian culture, you look them in their eye, it's disrespectful.

Speaker 1 So it's like you don't know, if you, if you meet your, if you're, if you had a Korean wife and you looked her father in the eye, he'd be like, get, this guy's a fucking piece of it.

Speaker 1 Where are you supposed to look? In their chest? I don't think you're supposed to keep your head down. It's like a culture thing.
You have to keep your head down. Where are you supposed to be?

Speaker 1 You can't look at these guys in the eye. That's very disrespectful in the Asian culture.
See, Americans, if you shake someone's hand and you don't look them in the eye, it's a fuck you.

Speaker 1 That's like, man, fuck you. That's what that is.

Speaker 1 You don't look them in the eye, ball. That's nuts.
10 places where eye contact is not recommended. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Nah. In the bedroom.

Speaker 1 China, not recommended. Yeah, well, I look them all in the face and say, you did this to me.
Yeah. Also, in China being Muslim, not recommended.
In China, look at that.

Speaker 1 In China, people make eye contact when they're angry. It's meant to challenge the other person as a sign of disrespect.
Yeah. See?

Speaker 1 It's a big thing. Japan, not recommended.

Speaker 1 Iran.

Speaker 1 Sometimes. Sometimes.
Depends. If you're looking at, you know, Saddam Hussein or somebody, look, look them in the eyes.

Speaker 1 Eye contact is an accompaniment to many conversations when the participants are friends or family. Got it.
Strangers, you don't look in the fucking eye.

Speaker 1 However, eye contact is never appropriate for the opposite gender. You don't look abroad in the eyeballs.
You look at a titch. My eyes are right here.

Speaker 1 That's Saudi Arabia. Is that what that said? Where was that? That was Iran? That was Iran.
Iran. Yeah.
Iran, not Iran.

Speaker 1 Iran. They correct you all the time here in L.A.
Because everybody here, they're all from fucking Iran. And Iran is where Iran? Iran is.

Speaker 1 Because here in L.A., we have a lot of Iranians. And they'll tell you, Iran, not Iran.

Speaker 1 I just go old school. I just say Persia or Persian.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They all say Persians. You know that.
They call themselves Persian.

Speaker 1 You know why they say that? Why? Well, because

Speaker 1 the connotation of Iran, because of what happened with the fucking. The war.

Speaker 1 People are like, oh, you're from Iraq? They're like, Iran, like, same, same to me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Vietnam, not recommended. Well, I'm not looking at her teeth.
Where else am I going to look? Who is that, Stavros? Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 In Vietnam, eye contact is a way of showing interest in the opposite gender. Right.
Yeah. That's everywhere around the world.
That's what I started with.

Speaker 1 The whole Vietnamese war, somebody just looks somebody in the eye.

Speaker 1 Why is this the photo? Cambodia. Not recommended to look down on the child that's about to give you a blowjob.
What is that photo?

Speaker 1 What is that photo? Why do they have these weird fucking photos on this website? Yeah, what the hell is... She's got beautiful eyes, this kid.
Stop it. Oh.

Speaker 1 Indonesia, sometimes. Go down.

Speaker 1 Kenya. Sometimes.
Hong Kong. Not.
But America's the worst place on earth. South Korea.
Not recommending South Korea. I thought South Korea was.

Speaker 1 I thought South Korea.

Speaker 1 Kill Bobby in the eye. Don't look him in the eye.
I look him in the eye all the time.

Speaker 1 That's why he's not here.

Speaker 1 Thailand. It says

Speaker 1 some eye contact, not too much.

Speaker 1 U.S. eye contact, welcome.

Speaker 1 United Kingdom, UK, of course. Yeah, but that's one of those things, I guess.

Speaker 1 It is interesting meeting like your girlfriend's father because you get like you get so in your head. Like, my girl's dad, he died,

Speaker 1 but he was a big, like a Puerto Rican man, but humongous Donald Trump supporter. Like, huge Trump guy.
I had no idea. Aren't all Puerto Ricans? Aren't big Puerto Ricans?

Speaker 1 It depends. Like, yeah, you know, it, some are, some.
This guy was huge, huge Trump guy, and he died like right after the election. I just met Jasmine.
You know, I barely knew him.

Speaker 1 I met him like, you know, my daughter, Delilah, was like three months old. And so, but he, you know, he wasn't coming around that much.
But then he started coming around. So I got to know him.

Speaker 1 And I didn't know his political, you know, I didn't know who he was affiliated with. But when the night after the election, he came over for dinner.

Speaker 1 And I thought because Puerto Rico got a Puerto Rican kid, this is all new to me. I went on like, you know, I was like, you know, what a disservice to this country, like all that stuff.

Speaker 1 Like, I was like, I was like, I can't believe I I was like, it's going to be okay. I was like being the father of a, you know, Latinx child.

Speaker 1 Like, I was trying to, you know, I was just trying to be like, oh, you know, like, just try to hide the fact that, you know, I voted for the guy. But I was just, I was just like,

Speaker 1 I had no idea. I was like, you know, Latinx Kylie, and this is horrible.
And I'm going to do everything I can as a white man to make this better for my child and your children and all this stuff.

Speaker 1 And I swear to God, he was just like, just looking at me and goes, you done? And I go, yeah.

Speaker 1 And then I swear to God, out of his, he had, you know, he had walks around, he was walking around like a plastic bag. He pulled out a Make America America Great Again hat on and he put it down.

Speaker 1 He goes, I voted for him. I would have voted for him twice.
And then, and then I was like, oh, boy. And then, and then he died, right? Like a month later.
That's why he died. That's why he died.

Speaker 1 He was like, I'm not. He was like, I can't believe my son married.
My daughter married a gay guy.

Speaker 1 So he goes, so he passes away, right? And then, you know, obviously Jasmine's very upset with son and he had a heart attack. So we go to the funeral home in Brooklyn.
And,

Speaker 1 you know, she can't even talk, Jasmine. She's like distraught.
So we sitting there and going over the funeral arrangements. And she said, she was like, please, just like, can you handle this?

Speaker 1 I was like, yeah, whatever. So we're talking.
And then he goes, the guy, the funeral director, Italian guy,

Speaker 1 he goes,

Speaker 1 what was his political affiliation? And Jasmine's like, well, I don't know why that's important. And he goes, no, no, I don't want to be disrespectful.

Speaker 1 I just, you know, what was his political affiliation, you know, to me? And I go, is it okay? And she goes, whatever. I go, he was, you know, he voted for Donald Trump.
And he goes,

Speaker 1 I swear to God, he starts clapping.

Speaker 1 Give him the good cast.

Speaker 1 And then he goes, and he goes, he goes, listen to me. He goes, that man voted for Trump.
And we said, yeah. He goes, I'm going to get the,

Speaker 1 you know, the army, the Coast Guard, you know, the, what do you call it, the changing of the guard. He goes, I'm going to get them to come.
They're going to play a thing on the flute for him. Taps.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He goes, he goes, we're going to get a full military burial for him.
Full military burial. He's like, that's on me, on this funeral home.
He goes and

Speaker 1 he goes, I want to get him a wreath. And I want to to do something.
I want to do something nice for you guys. He goes, because you know what? He goes, I had a funeral in here the other day, right?

Speaker 1 He goes, these people are going on and on and on. He goes about Hillary this, Hillary that.
And I said to them, He goes, I said to them. He goes, I said, you know, I'm listening to them.

Speaker 1 He goes, you got to be respectful. You know, people, you know, people died.
And, you know, people get upset. He goes, I said to him.
He goes, He goes, you know, I'm talking to the guy.

Speaker 1 He goes, this fucking guy. He goes, honestly, I don't even know what gender this fucking guy was.
He goes, I'm talking to this guy.

Speaker 1 He goes, he goes, I asked him. And it's crazy that he's even saying this to us while she's crying.
And then even saying this to him, well, they just lost a loved one. And he's getting into this.
And

Speaker 1 he goes, I said to the guy,

Speaker 1 I go, be honest with me. What's one fucking mistake Trump's made so far in three months? Just tell me one mistake.
Tell me one fucking thing he did wrong. We're proof.

Speaker 1 He goes, none of this CNM bullshit. He goes, we're proof.
Tell me one mistake this guy's made. He goes, and I'm going to give you the funeral for free.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm going to give you the funeral for free. If you could come in here tomorrow and show me, we're proof one mistake that Donald Trump's made.
He goes, guess what? They fade, they paid full price.

Speaker 1 He goes, they paid full price. Of course they paid full price because you can't prove it.
Bro, he came in. I swear, I have pictures.
I don't know if I put it on my Instagram.

Speaker 1 I think Jasmine asked me to take it. This was, it was five years ago, anyway, six years ago.
He came in with the wreath. Dude,

Speaker 1 it was bigger than this plant. Like, like, I've never seen it.
It was like, it looked like a Ferris wheel. And it said, Make America Great Again right by his casket.

Speaker 1 I swear to God, the family was coming in. Like, Jasmine's sister is like very liberal.
She was like, What the fuck? Who paid for this? She was like, Is this one of your jokes?

Speaker 1 Like, they were yelling at me. I was like, He did it.
He had a cappuccino machine downstairs in the basement. He was like, He was like, Come on.
He says to me, You want to have a cappuccino?

Speaker 1 And I, and I go, I go, I should say, come on. He goes, It's not your real family.
Come on.

Speaker 1 He goes, Your dad died. Come on.
He goes, I go through this shit every day. You don't really care.
And I was like, You're right.

Speaker 1 i was like this funeral director what he was fucking amazing and he's like i had to come to see one of your skits then he was telling me wild shit about like how robert de niro is wanted by the fucking mafia and he can't come down the street he goes if he died he goes if de niro died i wouldn't bury him i wouldn't bury him why because he said he he said that I don't know if this is true, but he said that De Niro

Speaker 1 would finance some of his movies from the mafia, like back in the 90s or 80s, whatever.

Speaker 1 Some of the studios wouldn't wouldn't give him the money, so he would finance it through the mafia. I believe that.
And he never paid the juice back on it.

Speaker 1 He just would take the money and never pay the juice. Or they wanted royalties and all this shit.
Because, you know, it's not, you don't sign a fucking contract with the mafia.

Speaker 1 You sit in an office and you go, listen, this movie makes this much. You give me the money.
You shake a hand. That's a contract.
He wouldn't do it. You got to pay the juice.
You got to pay the juice.

Speaker 1 Robert De Niro and the Gaffada. He's incredible.
What is that? What is that picture? Was that a picture of Tim Dylan and

Speaker 1 Naomi? You'll see. Podcaster Tim Dylan slams Naomi on the street.
Oh, you've never seen it? His insanity-laced rant.

Speaker 1 When was that from?

Speaker 1 August? Yeah. What was he yelling about? He goes, that bitch, Naomi Osaka, who didn't want to do the interview, shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 Do the fucking interview, you dumb bitch. You just tweeted that.
No, that's sweet. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But the thing is, he gets written up in these, you know, he does so many bits where, like, he's like, I'm having an interview. Or you ever seen the one

Speaker 1 with the Beijing game, with the opening of the Olympic Games? Like, they wrote him up like,

Speaker 1 people think that it's real. They don't understand.
It's not.

Speaker 1 none of it is real that the weirdest thing is that they'll literally write comedian Blah blah blah blah blah and you're like take the first word. Yeah, anything else is probably bullshit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's probably just us fucking around making a joke. That's so weird that they still do shit like that though.
Yeah. Well

Speaker 1 Timmy is the best. I mean, I love him to death.
Yeah, he called last time. We were on the show.
He called into the, he called my phone and we put him on the show last time. He is the best.

Speaker 1 But you know what's so funny that that is what's bothering me the most about like us doing the show, us when Bob's here or, you you know, whatever. We're fucking around.

Speaker 1 And then, if anybody takes any of that to any sort of level of like, they must be being dead serious, you're like, this whole thing is for fun. It's for fun.
It's for fun. It's for fucking fun.

Speaker 1 But the beautiful thing is your fans know that. That's why that's a great thing.

Speaker 1 I know, but that's where the Yahoo News takes the time out of their fucking day to write about a comedian joking around about it. It shows they don't have anything else

Speaker 1 to talk about. You know why? Because when Trump is gone, when Trump was in, man, they had so much fucking material.
And now they're just like, we got to find something to talk about.

Speaker 1 That guy was a bevy of material. You know, news sources were, they had an an embarrassment of riches.
They could say anything every single day.

Speaker 1 And because you never really knew what Trump stood for, because in a one-minute rant, he literally contradicts me. He said, he changes sides every single day.

Speaker 1 He says so many wild things that you're like, all right, you know what? I give up. I don't even know what he said.
We'll just wait till what he says tomorrow. He's like, gays are repulsive.

Speaker 1 Also, pro-gay marriage. And you're like, wait a minute, what? Yeah.
He goes, I was sucking cock last night.

Speaker 1 They shouldn't be allowed in this country anymore. Yeah.
Who? Mexicans, gays, gay Mexicans. Gay, Mexicans.

Speaker 1 It is funny how many times he would go back on something he would say. Yeah, you could.
That's why I think they never really got him pinned down. Yeah.
He just kept flip-flopping.

Speaker 1 That's all you have to do. Flip-flop.
Just keep flip-flopping, and they'll never be able to track you down. I think that's honestly an amazing strategy.
Flip-flop.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, he got away with it for longer.

Speaker 1 Speaking of which, you do know Carlos. You know, Carlos, Carlos Ocarlos.
Carlos. Carlos was a diehard Trump supporter.
Really? Die hard. Diehard.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he got attacked in the streets for wearing a Make America Great Again hat. Yeah, my dad was pissed.

Speaker 1 Because a lot of Mexicans. I think my kid's white, but I'm Mexican, so I was a little confused.
Mexican like Trump, though, right? A lot lot of Mexicans like Trump.

Speaker 1 He was going to help build the wall, this kid.

Speaker 1 My dad works down there by the wall. By the wall, yeah.
His dad works. By the wall, you get it.
Well, because he was. That's the thing with Trump.

Speaker 1 It's like, yes, he was saying, okay, I'm going to build the wall.

Speaker 1 But what they don't say is, is he said he was going to build the wall to keep the Mexicans out, but he was going to make it with glory holes so the gays have fun. That's right.

Speaker 1 So he was like, I was going to put glory holes in the wall. You go down there.
You get your cocksucked.

Speaker 1 We keep out the bad guys. You're still going to blowy.
Yeah, that's what it is. Everyone should, they're stressed out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Carlos' dad was a coyote who would sneak immigrants into the country, but also worked for Border Patrol. So he was a double agent.

Speaker 1 I want to thank Fancy B, by the way. I didn't give enough credit.
Fancy B sitting in for Rudy. He had to do less work today than he's ever had to do.
Ever had to do in his life.

Speaker 1 But you know what? He's a vital part of this. He's a vital organ in this whole thing.

Speaker 1 And I do think he's losing his job to Carlos. I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 1 Carlos has taken over. Well, you have a job on the East Coast if you'd like one.
Okay. As long as you have a valid passport.
You can't steal my fucking.

Speaker 1 That's our only pre-rec is he has to have a passport. Does he have a fucking Wikipedia page now? Oh my God.
Look at Fancy, dude. Go back.
Does he have a Wikipedia page? He looks like a villain.

Speaker 1 He's always IMDb. You do look like a villain.
How do we get a Wikipedia page made for him? What is that picture right there? You look like you were on that true TV show with the magicians.

Speaker 1 They were the ones who were the practical jokers. What was it called? What is that film? What is that shot? What was that show? Yeah, that's crazy.
Did you take that in Spain? No. Nice.

Speaker 1 Look at that. Oh, that one, that one, that one.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 So embarrassing.

Speaker 1 On Bad Friends Court. That was great.
Fancy B, everybody. I want to thank Chrissy D.
Thank you. Chrissy Chaos.
Go to patreon.com/slash ChristieComedy.

Speaker 1 Watch Chrissy Chaos.

Speaker 1 Watch what?

Speaker 1 Hey, Babe. I was going to say watch Hey Babe.
And ChristieComedy.com, Tiki Wikis. I got the Christy Theater tour, everybody, the CTE tour.
Go see the CTE tour.

Speaker 1 This guy's got brain damage, and he's bringing it to a city near you. If he makes it or he figures out what town he's in, yeah, Detroit, Cleveland, Washington, D.C., hockey,

Speaker 1 Atlanta. Atlanta.
Go to ChristyComedy.com to go see this guy live. It's beautiful.
It's amazing.

Speaker 1 Go ahead and look at your single. Go ahead.
You'll look at your camera and say thank you for being a bad friend. Take us out, baby.
Okay, let's go, Brandon. Thank you for being a bad friend.