The Three Unwise Men

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Speaker 1 Hey, everybody. We got a new merch.
We got new merch. We got new merch.
And it's a new year. It's a new year.
We have these hoodies. Look at that.
And Rudy's got the green shirt. The green shirt.

Speaker 1 I like this size. I like that one.
And this one has a little kimono dragon on it. I love it.
Kimono? Kimodo. Kimono.
Kimono. Kimono dragon.
Yeah, because I like it. Badfriendsmerch.com.

Speaker 1 Badfriendsmerch.com.com slash badfriendsmerch.com. Badfriendsmer.com.
Slash. Badfriendsmerch.com.com.
Badfriendsmerch.com. Get it.
Get it. Also, come see me on the road.
Andrew Santino.com.

Speaker 1 I'm on the road doing stand-up comedy all over the country. Come see me, AndrewSantino.com.
You two are bad friends.

Speaker 1 We're bad friends. Happy New Year.

Speaker 1 Blue light in your eyes.

Speaker 1 I can't do the podcast. Because there's a blue light in my eye.

Speaker 1 Right? Blue light in my eyes. I can't do the podcast.
Because there's a blue light in my eyes. That's a really good song.
It's a really good song. Happy 2022.

Speaker 1 Happy, happy. Happy, happy, happy.
What a year. What a year.
What a beautiful year that I got to grow. Beautiful year.
I got to grow with my family. With your family.
And this is my new family.

Speaker 1 This is your new family. Can I say something? Yeah.
You look good.

Speaker 1 Ah, you look good.

Speaker 1 You know who didn't dress up and doesn't look good? I love it. Bruny Jules.

Speaker 1 No, I don't. No, you didn't.
I have a dress.

Speaker 1 She's She's wearing a dress. Oh, you are? Yes.

Speaker 1 What's that fishnet top you got on? Oh, it is a nice dress. You look nice.
What a fucking asshole you are, dude. I couldn't tell.
She spent nine hours.

Speaker 1 Normally she looks like a fucking brown pill bug.

Speaker 1 Does she look like a brown pillbug right now? No, she looks like a human being right now. Yeah, she does.
You look good, really. We put fucking water on her.
We put soap on her.

Speaker 1 We fucking put that little shampoo, a little bit of shampoo on your hair, right? She showered? She begged. She's like, it's been a year.
I go here

Speaker 1 with the garbage con. What's it? Head and shoulders.
But it was a it was a combo it was two for one two and one. It was it was yeah she had air conditioner because you know she has no time.

Speaker 1 Well, no, it's just that I use that for the animals and the dogs and her.

Speaker 1 And look who else dressed up, ladies and gentlemen. Little Black Magic in the house looking good.

Speaker 1 You know, he's wearing a Steve Harvey

Speaker 1 Steve Harvey suit. That's a Steve Harvey's finest.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Show me purple.

Speaker 1 Show me purple. Show me purple.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, and Doc Little Black Magic's got himself a little bit of Vino Vino.
What's inside the glass there, Doc? Got a little bit of Pinot on the Wire,

Speaker 1 sponsored by Barefoot New Year. New Year's, let him have it.
I'm letting him have it. Don't let him have it.

Speaker 1 Just plugging it. You can't plug a brand of wine.
We don't have wine yet.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, we can edit that out. But, hey, man,

Speaker 1 2022 is looking good on the walls right there.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's looking good on the wall, but not for you in the real future. That's what I'm talking about.
Yeah. Also, shout out to you.
Your wall is not looking good. No.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Dude, your wall, dude, is like, it's like one of those haunted walls in the movies. Yeah.
And it's crack. You know, these chunks of

Speaker 1 a cracking coming out missing. Yeah.
What's on your vision board, Doc?

Speaker 1 You know what, man. Oh, you know what? I had to take my vision board down.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Shut up. Fucking.
Yeah, I had one.

Speaker 1 Hopefully, Steve Harvey had one, so fuck y'all.

Speaker 1 Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Speaker 1 What was on your vision board? Yeah, I had to get a house, right, that I wanted. Oh, dog.
Selling all stages everywhere. None of that's happened yet.
But then

Speaker 1 I had an Instagram model on there.

Speaker 1 All right, get another pen and a paper. We got to create another fucking video.

Speaker 1 Bro, you had a house

Speaker 1 selling out all over the country and an Instagram model as a girlfriend or a wife.

Speaker 1 As what I want and what I look like. But the problem is, is I found a...
Delusion board? Is that a delusion board? Yeah. That's called delusion board.
That's a delusion board. That's all I roll.

Speaker 1 I'm all in that fantasy realm. It's good.
Yeah, yeah. Let me tell you something.
And you know what?

Speaker 1 I don't want to shit on your future.

Speaker 1 Let me tell you something. Have more obtainable goals.

Speaker 1 No. Dude, I don't agree with that.
Get a condo. No, no, no.
Reach for the stars.

Speaker 1 Get a condo. And plus, you started with a condo.
The Instagram star probably on this thing is probably Tila Tequila.

Speaker 1 You don't know who an Instagram star is. He's like, oh, this will do.

Speaker 1 Who was the Instagram star? Well,

Speaker 1 I want to to say the name, but come to find out. Say the name of the name.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you why I had to tear the board up because I had to take the girl that I put on there.

Speaker 1 I come to find out because the account got canceled, right? And come to find out,

Speaker 1 the reason the account got canceled because it was

Speaker 1 transgender, and I didn't know. So I fucking had to.
So I had to revamp the board. Because, you know, if you roll like that, that's you.
But transgender, that ain't my future. That ain't.

Speaker 1 I wasn't trying to be. You made the board, fuck fake.
Yeah, but I didn't know. I didn't don't fucking know.
It's not like God made the board. You made the board.
You made the board transgender.

Speaker 1 Bobby, this motherfucker looked delicious, though, Bobby. I was like,

Speaker 1 that's fine.

Speaker 1 That's on you, and that's fine. Yeah, but you're not.

Speaker 1 Can we bring her up? Yeah, yeah. I want to see what delicious looks like.
Man, this shit going to be all on the internet. No, man.
It's already on the internet.

Speaker 1 What do you fucked yourself up? What do you think is going on here? It used to be

Speaker 1 Pimp Aaliyah. Pull it up.

Speaker 1 I don't even know if the colour's still open or not. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Wait, is this Aaliyah Jasmine? Yes. That's her.
That's the dude. All right.

Speaker 1 First of all, it's not a dude. It's a woman.
I mean, it's a woman. My bad.
It's a woman.

Speaker 1 But let me show you. But can you zoom in? Just pinch, pinch and pinch.

Speaker 1 Give me something. Yum.
Yum.

Speaker 1 Wow. She looks good.
Dude, what are you talking about?

Speaker 1 That should be.

Speaker 1 That all should be on your vision board. It's her.
Yeah. Her ass.

Speaker 1 What happened was how I found out because it was canceled. I said, what happened to this account? Because I kind of go on a lot of women's accounts.
So

Speaker 1 How many women's accounts do you go on? Point the mic to it just so we can see it. Okay.

Speaker 1 On an average day, a good 20 or 15 of them. Okay, good.
What are you doing on the pages? Andrew. I just watch their stories and see what kind of pictures they got.
You know what?

Speaker 1 Andrew, Andrew, he's a fucking

Speaker 1 stalker.

Speaker 1 He's a fucking stalker. You're a legitimate stalker.
Rudy, do you feel uncomfortable sitting next to me?

Speaker 1 Give some room. A little room.
Thank you. Hands up the whole time.
Use your hands up.

Speaker 1 I'm not touching anybody. Yeah, where's your penis at?

Speaker 1 Me too down. I'm down with me too.
I don't fucking name it. Okay, so timeout.
Let's slow down. So Pimpalia, her name is what? What's her full name? I don't know her name.
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 It's Aaliyah. Aaliyah's the name.
Aaliyah Jasmine. So this is how I found out.
Because the cars, it got deleted. I said, what happened to this girl? And then I said, so I started Googling.

Speaker 1 And then all of a sudden, these guys started talking about her. And then some guy put up a picture of her

Speaker 1 before and after.

Speaker 1 Oh, let's. Ooh, I scrolled out.
I was finding a picture, but I was like, what? Wait, let's do it. Type in Aaliyah Jasmine.
There were some famous rappers and singers.

Speaker 1 A lot of people was following this woman. Oh, there you go.
Just go to images. Yeah, that'll work too.
But, dog, at the end of the day,

Speaker 1 can I tell you something? Hot before. Yeah, yeah.
Maybe hotter before. Man, that shit hit me, bro.
I said, God damn. Holy shit.
Born a guy, got rid of it. Now she's a bad.
It's Amir Kay.

Speaker 1 It is Amir K.

Speaker 1 You love Amira Kay. You do? Hey, man, don't be like that.

Speaker 1 So go back to her Instagram page. So you're scrolling through the page one day, and then she's on your vision board.
You feel bad because you're looking at her took us and you like it. Look at her.

Speaker 1 She's got a nice nice. She's got nice.
She's got nice

Speaker 1 meat sacks.

Speaker 1 Whatever. That's one of the greatest-looking ones I've ever seen.
I say, God damn. Greatest-looking what? Trans women? Yeah.
Yeah. That's a cash.
Now, if you. Sexy woman.
Let me ask you something.

Speaker 1 That Saturday night

Speaker 1 that you because that show, we have you talked about the show yet? San Diego. Yeah, we did.
Yeah, a little bit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, you did great that you did great no we haven't talked about that show since since have we

Speaker 1 boys

Speaker 1 without doc we didn't do it with doc. Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I just want to say that show you did great. Oh, thank you bro.

Speaker 1 Number one, all right, because I have some resentments that I want to throw out.

Speaker 1 If you don't mind,

Speaker 1 if you don't mind, we got a closer relationship.

Speaker 1 We do.

Speaker 1 You know, I don't know how you manage time.

Speaker 1 You know, I don't know if you use your clock. I don't know if you have an internal clock.
Okay. But your internal clock is wrong.
Yeah, it's very wrong. It's very wrong.
It's way off. It's way off.

Speaker 1 And when somebody says to do... You know when you go into an old town and there's a clock in the middle of the town and it's been 2.30 for, I don't know, seven years? Yeah.
That's your internal clock.

Speaker 1 You know the clock that's in Back to the Future? Exactly. After, after

Speaker 1 the strike? Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 That's you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Not working, right? Not working. So we told you, you know, it's a, I don't know, it was 2,000 people.
Yeah, it was like 14 or 1500. It was packed.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sold out. Sold out.
And we go, go to 10 minutes, right? Bobby said, 10 to 12 is fine. It's fine.
And Bobby even goes, if he does 15 because he's having fun, fine. Fine.
Right.

Speaker 1 Now, him and I, we're 25 minutes in. Yep.
Right. Yep.

Speaker 1 Now I'm a human light. Right.

Speaker 1 I'm doing.

Speaker 1 Get up.

Speaker 1 Get up. Right.
You're in the pocket. You start doing crowd work.
work and new stories. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 He saw a guy in the audience. He's like, oh, let me tell you, where are you from? Carlsbad?

Speaker 1 He just started making up stories. Yeah, you did this whole fucking Carlsbad fucking.

Speaker 1 Beach bit. What was it about? Were you just in the moment so much you just didn't realize? I just was like,

Speaker 1 you know, man. Couldn't see the clock, by the way.
Clock right on the floor.

Speaker 1 Right on the floor. Made me so mad.
I was like, they love me and I love them. Oh

Speaker 1 my God.

Speaker 1 Did you see the applause that Jules got before you, you fuckface?

Speaker 1 Bigger applause than you fuck with.

Speaker 1 Did you hear my applause?

Speaker 1 Way bigger. Way bigger.
Give the mic to Jules.

Speaker 1 How did you feel about the whole thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I didn't.

Speaker 1 I kind of liked it, but I also had a lot of farts going on. A lot of farts.

Speaker 1 Big time farting going on.

Speaker 1 And that's the thing. Barbara Streisen has that.
When she performs, she has farts. And she has.
That's true. When she gets nervous, she has to.
She incorporates the farts into her singing.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you know that. Yep.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Break me away.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I couldn't think of a Barbara Strasza song, so I don't know one either.
I actually made it up. Well, give me a Barbara Strasza.
Is there one?

Speaker 1 What about the one with the eyes? The one she played the Tisa. Oh, no, the one with the candle? Which one? Was that her?

Speaker 1 Hers is, let's see, the woman in the wall.

Speaker 1 Mama, can you hear me? Which one's that? No more tears.

Speaker 1 Papa, can you hear me? Is that her, Papa? Is that Mama? It's Papa. It's Mama.
Papa, can you hear me? That's her, right? Praba, can you hear me?

Speaker 1 I wanted you to incorporate a fart with a real song.

Speaker 1 Prabha, can you hear me?

Speaker 1 Thank you. Thank you.

Speaker 1 My point, though, is this. So that night, right, you killed, right? Killed.
If that girl, right, came up to you after that show. Jasmine.
Jasmine. And go, hey, baby, killed it.

Speaker 1 This is the strongest 45 minutes I've ever seen. Because you would have to say that because you did that much time.

Speaker 1 That's the strongest 45. I didn't know that the headliner went up before the headliner.

Speaker 1 I had no idea that the opener does way more time than the headliner.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like 20 minutes longer. Yeah.
And anyway,

Speaker 1 let's smash. So, would you have smashed her that night? If you didn't know, if you didn't know, though.
If I didn't know, of course. No, I wouldn't smash because you get there and then you go, oh,

Speaker 1 I want to know what you do in the aw. What's the most important thing?

Speaker 1 I want to know what you do. Look, Jasmine's right there.
There she is. Hi.
Hey, how are you doing? So,

Speaker 1 nice hour.

Speaker 1 Honestly, say it's very strong. So, what hotel are you staying at? Black Magic.

Speaker 1 You know, I'm going to leave. That was the worstest thing I've ever heard.
Hold on, hold on.

Speaker 1 If you say Black Magic to a woman and you point like that,

Speaker 1 I suggest

Speaker 1 that. I'm going to the police if you do that to me.

Speaker 1 Imagine if you did that to your daughter. Yeah.
Police. Black Magic.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 You walk around

Speaker 1 the street with your kids, San Diego, right?

Speaker 1 Two in the morning.

Speaker 1 Black magic.

Speaker 1 Hello, police.

Speaker 1 A little black magic is running around the streets. They would know.

Speaker 1 Right away.

Speaker 1 So you're in the room with Jazz. Yeah.
And she says, hey,

Speaker 1 let's get naked. Right.
So you would make out, right, because you wouldn't know. You would never know.

Speaker 1 Are you a guy? That's fair. So your tongue is now with his tongue.

Speaker 1 Well, her tongue. So they're lacing with passion.
They're fucking lacing. Okay, now

Speaker 1 She takes on her pants. Let's keep it.
She takes off your pants. They're lacing again.
I like the way you're lacing. They're lacing with passion.
They fucking. Those are tongues, right?

Speaker 1 Oh, delicious. Yeah.
Okay. Man, I don't know what the fuck that was, but you just.

Speaker 1 So you guys are making out. Your clothes start to come off.
Come on, right. And, you know, it's so hot and heated, dude.
Hot. The tip of your penis, right? There's little squirts of black magic.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, liquid form though. A little bit of black magic coming up.
Liquid form. Liquid form.
Let me feel like I'm ready.

Speaker 1 Right coming up, right, right.

Speaker 1 And then you're like, okay. Now she starts blowing you.
Now you don't ask. In a situation, you never ask, hey, are you.
What is that, Fonzie? That's him. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, are you a man?

Speaker 1 You're not going to ask that. You're going to get the blowjob.
Yeah, you're going to get it. Right.
Because you're just assuming everything's fine. And can I say something, Doc?

Speaker 1 Doing what I do as you do.

Speaker 1 Blowjob. It's the best head you've ever had.
Killer. I mean, it's

Speaker 1 not.

Speaker 1 where you have to say every once in a while, stop for a second. Slow down, slow down.
Yeah, yeah, because I'm getting there. Look, that's it.
I'm on the fall. Yeah, you're fading out.
I'm fading out.

Speaker 1 Right, you're fading out, bro. Oh, yeah, okay.
Because you're waiting. Honestly, don't touch Rudy, bro.
Yeah, don't get it. Yeah, you get kicked a little distance.
That's insane.

Speaker 1 It's insane. It's insane.
Don't do that. It seems gross to me right now.
Don't. I don't wish you'd be able to do it.
So listen.

Speaker 1 Of course.

Speaker 1 Listen. Yeah.
So it's going really well.

Speaker 1 You're getting really close. Getting close, right? Because you're saving, because you're like,

Speaker 1 in every guy's mind, when all this is happening, you're like, is

Speaker 1 the main event going to happen? Right. Is this just going to be the end of the show? Which would have been fine.
Totally. I like a pre-show.
Sure. Love a show.
Right. You put out the pre-show.

Speaker 1 Opening it comes out. They go,

Speaker 1 the headliners are sick. That's fine.
Fine. But I want to see the main show.
I do want to see the main show.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Curtains.
Main show's happening. Curtains.
Curtains. You call it the curtains.

Speaker 1 That's hilarious, dude. Okay.
I love your lingo. Let's go.
So you slowly pull

Speaker 1 her pants down. Yeah, pulls your pants down.
And look at those pants. Right.
Those, yeah. Now you can't get them.
She's on her back.

Speaker 1 You're pulling off. You can't get them off.
Why? Why, Andrew? Why can't he pull the pants down? Her belt's on. Oh, the belt's on.
But then he dig the belts on. Yeah, yeah, you're right.

Speaker 1 Like you're turning her belt on.

Speaker 1 She's also weird.

Speaker 1 Morgan Mindy suspenders.

Speaker 1 Right, right.

Speaker 1 So we have to take those off, too. Right, right, right, right.

Speaker 1 So we take the fucking pelt off. We take the Morgan Mindy, the colorful, like rainbow suspenders off, right? I don't know.
We take those off, right? And then still, you can't take the pants.

Speaker 1 I don't want to take them off. Why? You can't take them off.
Interesting. Because there's a

Speaker 1 right.

Speaker 1 What is that?

Speaker 1 I don't know what this is. Okay.
Right, right. Oh, okay.
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, yeah. So my point is that

Speaker 1 now you pull it up finally.

Speaker 1 Right? It does that too.

Speaker 1 Now you're already like a little door stopped. This woman's already sucked your dick.
You've already done this with the tongue. Yeah.
Right? The thing that you were doing. Yep.

Speaker 1 Which is what you call what. What do you call it? What'd you call it? Lasing with passion.
Lasing with passion.

Speaker 1 We got to write all these things down. This is the book you're writing, right?

Speaker 1 Laser with passion. Pretty lazy with passion.

Speaker 1 What do you say? I want to know what Doc says to get out of the situation.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go, wow, I didn't know you had one of those.

Speaker 1 She goes, is that a problem? Is that a problem? Yeah, yeah, it's a goddamn problem.

Speaker 1 What would you really say? If, look, by the way, she might be, I don't know, she might not have.

Speaker 1 She might have already gone through the surgery. I don't know.
So, what if, what if

Speaker 1 she put on her pants and it's a surgical new vagina. Vagina.
How would I know, though? Exactly. Exactly.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 This is how you would know, Bobby. This is how you would know.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Exactly.

Speaker 1 You come, you lay next to each other. You're a great time.
You're almost in love. He looks at you.
Oh, she looks at you. She looks at you.
She goes, Do you like fucking my

Speaker 1 brand new

Speaker 1 penis split in half, tucked inside my body, and you sticking your penis in the inside of my surgical penis? So we kind of like, you fuck the inside of my penis. Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I've never been in that situation. That's one of those.
But you know what? You ever had like. Imagine him explain this guy explaining that to me and him going, oh, okay.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's unique.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's it. Oh, that's unique.
That's something different.

Speaker 1 That being said, the person nigga. I'm fucking one of the fucking best.
I'm telling you. That being said, Doc.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
This is hilarious. I think you should give it a shot.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Die. Hey, man.
Hey,

Speaker 1 give it a shot. That's the point.

Speaker 1 The thing that Bobby and I are trying to teach you is be open. Okay.
Because you don't know. What if you fall in love with Pimpalia? Pimpala.
Well, which Aliyah Jasmine. She's way out of our original.

Speaker 1 What did you say, fans?

Speaker 1 She is way out of his leg. She's way out of his leg.

Speaker 1 I'll take that. I don't know.
No, don't take that.

Speaker 1 It's shoot up, but don't take that.

Speaker 1 Self-esteem. My own self-esteem so long.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I also want to know what else is on this dream board. What else is on your vision board? Because

Speaker 1 you have a house on it, so you put a mansion on there.

Speaker 1 Whose mansion did you put on there?

Speaker 1 It's

Speaker 1 in Studio City. In the valley.
There is a real house. Yes, a real house.
You went to some guy's house, took a photo of it. my phone.
Printed it out.

Speaker 1 I went to the top of my car, parked, walked in front of it, and snapped a picture of it. I'll imagine that.
How scared.

Speaker 1 Now, where you live in the house. Just a little tiny black guy comes up on my lawn.
I imagine it.

Speaker 1 You know what? I wouldn't even say it. I would think that I imagined it.
Yeah. Because a little black guy is like, hallucinating.
Yeah. Did a portal from

Speaker 1 open up from mythological land and this little black magical guy came out of it.

Speaker 1 You saying fucking magical? Can I tell you something? If aliens do come down and take over people's bodies to do documentation,

Speaker 1 100% I believe that you are an alien. That little black magic body,

Speaker 1 quick, quick, great, quick, great quick. Swirling up to my lawn,

Speaker 1 and then getting back

Speaker 1 and going away. I believe that you're a little black magic alien.
That could be. You know what? You never know, fuck.

Speaker 1 Do you remember in Jurassic Park 2 when the dinosaur finally makes it to San Diego? Yeah. So the girl, there's a little kid who wakes up at his, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Speaker 1 The second floor of his house. Yeah.
You know, and he sees a T-Rex in his fucking fucking

Speaker 1 right by the pool. Right.

Speaker 1 You know, and he does one of those things where he wakes up his parents and he doesn't scream. He goes, there's a dinosaur outside.
You know what I mean? And casually.

Speaker 1 I think that's what I would do if I saw him.

Speaker 1 There's a little black man outside.

Speaker 1 I'd say right to my parents. And they'd be like, go back to sleep, John.
You're crazy.

Speaker 1 So you took a picture of this man's house. It's on your board.
Took a picture, put it on the board.

Speaker 1 I don't think there's nothing wrong with that. No, I think it's cute.
That's why I'm laughing at you. I don't think it's wrong.

Speaker 1 And it's not like I'm not in Beverly Hills taking pictures. I just went to a regular street

Speaker 1 and just said this house right here. So you're going to get a house next year, Doc.
I believe it. Yeah.
I believe you're going to get a house. I believe you're going to get it.

Speaker 1 Probably not that house. No.
No chance. Probably not that house.
No, just a house, though.

Speaker 1 I think we can get you a house in somewhere in

Speaker 1 like Chatsworth or

Speaker 1 Santa Clarita. Don't be mean.
Don't be mean.

Speaker 1 Because Chatsworth is a house. Let's try to get him a house in Studio City.
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
I mean,

Speaker 1 no.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know. I don't want him.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, buddy.
You know what?

Speaker 1 I'm curious to see the Oprah episode that he saw to inspire him to do the vision board. Yeah, whatever.
Like, he saw something. Yeah.
He went, holy shit. You know, he went and bought

Speaker 1 fucking art paper. To do the vision board.
Right. Scissors.

Speaker 1 He went and did shit

Speaker 1 to do it. The way y'all talking, y'all don't own a copy of the secret, huh?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Man, y'all don't believe.
Hold up. The secret is real.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I gotta come.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much for coming.

Speaker 1 I know now

Speaker 1 this next half of the podcast is going to be about you explaining us the secret. Yeah, yeah, the whole thing.
I really appreciate it. All right, well,

Speaker 1 all right. Is there a way, Fancy, you guys can just

Speaker 1 edit this part out?

Speaker 1 What, what? Just put music over him talking about what the secret is to us.

Speaker 1 There's going to be an hour of him telling me, hey, man, the secret.

Speaker 1 You just put it out there, it's going to come to you. Okay.
So I'm going to. That's the secret.
We're going to do it as a TED Talk.

Speaker 1 hello everybody welcome to 2022 our new ted talk series you guys excited yeah we're opening up with a great oh my god a man

Speaker 1 i don't even know how to explain it

Speaker 1 You explain it. Chime.
You know, when I was younger,

Speaker 1 I was terrible at banking. I was confused.
So bad.

Speaker 1 Overdraft charges. Yeah, I just didn't know how to handle my money.
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Speaker 1 Hydro. I got it.
You? They gave me one. I got one at the house.
I love it so very much. It's incredible.
And I'm rowing in the morning and it wakes me up and gets me juiced. Well, what is it?

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Speaker 1 Hydro.com, code is Bad Friends. Hello Friends.
Oh, I love HelloFresh. When I see the box outside my door and I know that I get to open that thing up and cook food.
Oh, for my family?

Speaker 1 For your whole family. And I give them fresh food.
Fresh. Really delicious ingredients.
Yep. Farm Fresh, pre-portioned ingredients, seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep.

Speaker 1 Skip trip to the grocery store. Count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable.
That's why it's America's number one meal kit. Let me tell you something.

Speaker 1 The new year is a great time to focus on what's most important to you, whether it's saving money by ordering less, takeout, learning to cook, or prioritizing your wellness.

Speaker 1 HelloFresh is here to help with endless options to make cooking at home simple and enjoyable. Hey, man, they deliver those pre-portioned ingredients.
They're delicious. I've used it.

Speaker 1 We actually very much enjoy it.

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20 minutes of recipes are on there too. And they got dessert to satisfy Bobby's sweet tooth.
Yeah. And check it out.

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That's huge.

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Speaker 1 We're opening up tonight with a man who's got a vision. Yeah.
Board. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he's here to tell you about manifestation. Manifestation.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And about the secret. I don't know if you've heard of the secret, but the secret.
The secret. And finding the truth in the universe.
In the universe. Ladies and gentlemen, Professor.
Professor. Sir.

Speaker 1 Sir? Sir. He's been knighted.
And, you know what I mean? And? And he has a degree. What? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Professor. Sir.
Sir. Doc.
Doc. Willis.
Willis Williams. Williams.
Williamson.

Speaker 1 The third. The third.
PhD. Yeah.
I didn't say that. Everyone's coming.
Everyone's got.

Speaker 1 hear it. Let's hear it.

Speaker 1 Happy 2022. That's what I'm talking about.
Now,

Speaker 1 the secret. Now,

Speaker 1 you got to, like, in your heart, know that the universe is the center of

Speaker 1 yourself. Right?

Speaker 1 And then there are dimensions to yourself. Now, I don't really like to talk about dimensions because dimensions, I get a little scared, especially after that shit Michio Kaku said about dimensions.

Speaker 1 Did y'all hear about that?

Speaker 1 Are you asking the audience a question?

Speaker 1 I'm asking all the world and the question. No!

Speaker 1 Oh, see, that's it. That's what I need.
Some participation. Miminchio Kaku says some shit that scared the shit out of me.
I'm going to tell you that about dimensions.

Speaker 1 Now, this all connects to the goddamn

Speaker 1 holy shit.

Speaker 1 This thing has gone off the rails in the first 30 seconds.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay, okay. The secret.
Okay, so anyway.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He said.
Best thing in the world. Oh, they viewed it as Mike.

Speaker 1 Perfect.

Speaker 1 Thank you. And now people stand up and go, that was a bad one.
What's going on?

Speaker 1 Do we pay for that? That's a fucking pamphlet.

Speaker 1 Where else do we go, Tony? Where's Tony Robbins? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's

Speaker 1 terrible. All right, so Pimpalia, the house, and one more thing is on your vision board: selling out theaters.
Selling out. I'm not sure if you're not theaters and stadiums.

Speaker 1 I had selling out stadiums.

Speaker 1 Do you really want to sell out stadiums? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You do.

Speaker 1 Do you have any desire to do stadiums? Do you want to start coffee shops?

Speaker 1 I'm not

Speaker 1 the belly room in the world. Yeah.
I don't know. Let's go laundromat, coffee shop.
You know what? Let's just come with you. Hear me out.

Speaker 1 Then belly room, maybe. Let's go, laundromat, Irish pub.
Yes, Irish pub is good. Laundromat because it's the loud

Speaker 1 crowd, so you can learn from that. Okay.

Speaker 1 Herber mitzvah. A Herbar mitzvah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or Kitsaniera.
Kitsaniya. Kitsaniera.
Sorry. Kitsaniera.
Okay. And then move on to maybe out stadiums.
Go to clubs, B rooms, A rooms, and then

Speaker 1 50 years later, who knows? Okay, well, I'm just saying. 50 years.
Wait a minute. I'll be 50.

Speaker 1 You're right. You're right.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 that was a little bit.

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 1 You are a great comic, Doc. You're going to have a great 2022.
And I believe it. You keep working as hard as you are, and it's going to work out.
I appreciate it.

Speaker 1 I loved the shock on his face when you started getting real legitimate laughs on that stage. It was wild.
No, I was happy for it. It was out of pride.
It was more of a proud. I was so proud.

Speaker 1 Because you were nervous before the show. Yeah, I was.
Yeah, you were grumpy, actually. You're like, you're trying to write something.
You're like, come on, man, give me my space.

Speaker 1 Like being like that guy. Yeah, yeah.
Bobby, come on, man. Stop messing with me right now.
He was so nervous. He was so nervous.

Speaker 1 I was, man. I was nervous before every show.

Speaker 1 That was a great show, though. So fun.
It was so fucking fun. Rudy, do you have a vision board?

Speaker 1 No, I don't. But if I had,

Speaker 1 one would be

Speaker 1 to

Speaker 1 sleep less, have a boyfriend,

Speaker 1 foster more dogs,

Speaker 1 and meet Harry Styles. Okay.

Speaker 1 It's a good board. It's a really good board.

Speaker 1 She's kind of a stalker, bro. She said Harry Styles again.
Don't try to. She's like me.
Don't try to.

Speaker 1 Don't try to felt your stalking on somebody else.

Speaker 1 I'm a teenaged girl who has a crush on some cop star. Yours is a different thing, my friend.
What's on your vision board, Bob?

Speaker 1 Hello. What's on your vision board? Teeth.

Speaker 1 So I have 13 teeth. You want more? No, I want the 13 I have missing.
You know that I went to the dentist and the dentist said, You're missing 13 teeth.

Speaker 1 That's a lot, isn't it? It's, I felt, I honestly thought

Speaker 1 there's more than 13 teeth in the mouth. I mean, I just thought that that was.

Speaker 1 How many teeth are in the mouth? 202 teeth. Because,

Speaker 1 like, father, like daughter.

Speaker 1 And, you know, I thought in my head, I'm like, how am I influencing Juliana, you know, in my house? Because she's lived with me for a couple years since high school and stuff and whatnot.

Speaker 1 And it's like, am I having any kind of influence on her life? Of course. And it turns out that I do.
Because she went to the dentist. And what did the dentist say? What do they say, Rude?

Speaker 1 I have nine cavities. Nine? Yeah, yeah.
So that's so many

Speaker 1 cavities. So when I heard that, it was like her saying, I just got straight A's.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Like, as a proud pair i literally had tears in my eyes and i go i'm so proud of you buddy you know what i mean my little mukmouth

Speaker 1 my little mukmouth

Speaker 1 wait a minute seriously nine fucking cavities were you sucking on sugar cubes before

Speaker 1 nine cavities too george had nine cavities as well

Speaker 1 no listen to the rat that guy was that the dentist was a liar i think his bobby since the dentist was a liar

Speaker 1 yep he was just getting me for money

Speaker 1 so you said you think he filled in cavities that weren't there My teeth hurt much worse after he got done with them than before. Oh, really? He looked at me.
Yeah, yeah, 52 cavity. Cavity's kid.

Speaker 1 Like, you don't question it?

Speaker 1 Give me the fucking x-rays. Nine cavities, Rudy Jules.
How are you ending up with that many? I don't know. My parents never took me to the dentist.
Do you brush your teeth? Yeah. How many times a day?

Speaker 1 Two. Do you floss? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you drink sugary drinks? No.

Speaker 1 Nope. Is this all fake? She's floss.
I floss. I've never seen you floss.

Speaker 1 Why'd you roll your eyes as now? Why'd you roll your eyes as now, right? Because you know. I live with her.
Never seen her floss.

Speaker 1 There's never been a floss near you. Near you.
Three flosses. You have three flosses? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just the same rope you use over your neighborhood.

Speaker 1 Which one of that rope I use today?

Speaker 1 She does use mouthwash.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, because sometimes I use yours.
Listerine. The Listerine.
It's the only one that you can use. Yeah, yeah.
It's the one that kills real germs. Do you have cavities, Doc? Look at them.

Speaker 1 There are a bunch of them. You got a bunch? Hell yeah.
I got more than nine. That shit is like this.
You got to be a rookie to have only nine goddamn cavities. You're putting a first year number.

Speaker 1 I got at least 15 of them. I got them on the side of my tooth, on the top of my tooth.
I got these motherfuckers. Yeah.
I'm proud of them. They're probably blinged your cavities.

Speaker 1 Yeah, remember I lost a tooth right the other week. I just

Speaker 1 fucking lost it. Are they shiny your cavities?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
Wait a minute.

Speaker 1 What happened with the tooth that we talked about in San Diego? I'm still working on it.

Speaker 1 Still Still working on getting the hole out of your tooth? Yeah, we're getting the crown and stuff put in.

Speaker 1 How long does that take?

Speaker 1 Did you order it from China? What's the worst of back order? Are they showing up? Can I be honest with you? Yeah. I missed my dentist appointment.
I was drinking a little bit.

Speaker 1 A little bit too much the other day. I had fun.

Speaker 1 Are we having trouble? Do we need to put away the bottom? Oh, man. That's it.
You're missing dentist appointments because you're getting lit up with it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because what happened is I thought you were going to be. You're getting lit up during the days, though.
That's That's what makes it scary. That's scary.

Speaker 1 Everybody drinks during the day. Oh, the sky.
Everybody who drinks, drinks during the day. That's facts.
You can Google that.

Speaker 1 Does everybody drink during the day? George, Google that.

Speaker 1 Honestly.

Speaker 1 They drink as well.

Speaker 1 Stop for a second.

Speaker 1 Everybody drinks during the day. You can Google it.
That's facts. Andrew.
Andrew.

Speaker 1 We might have a problem. We do.

Speaker 1 We do.

Speaker 1 We have a problem.

Speaker 1 Ultimately, drinking during the day is no worries for some people.

Speaker 1 But it sounds like you're missing appointments, and that's bad. Who wrote that quote? Charles Bukowski?

Speaker 1 That sounds bad, Doc. Yeah, it sounds bad.
It just was just this one time.

Speaker 1 That's what they all say. It was just this one time.

Speaker 1 No, no, you've been doing it. You've been doing it.
Been doing what? Drinking during the day. Drinking during the day.
Yeah, that's the only time I can drink. I can't even drink at night.
Why not?

Speaker 1 Why? Because I have to go to bed for work the next day. That's true.
He has to go to bed.

Speaker 1 If I live in England, this wouldn't be a problem.

Speaker 1 Shout out to London. Shout out to Ireland.
Stop shutting up cities and countries.

Speaker 1 He's doing it again.

Speaker 1 He's doing his thing again.

Speaker 1 We need an intervention, I think.

Speaker 1 I think we do. Yeah.
Oh, dude. In fact, we have to write down our feelings

Speaker 1 and how it hurts us. Your behavior has affected me in the following ways.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You're missing dental appointments, getting holes in your teeth.

Speaker 1 Your visions are out of whack. Yeah, your visions are whack.
You say black magic and point your finger at strangers.

Speaker 1 You don't like that.

Speaker 1 That's alcoholism.

Speaker 1 That's in the big book. But let me say, yeah, yeah.
But now that it's New Year's Eve, that's it. New Year's resolutions.
Your New Year's

Speaker 1 Revolution is, and resolution should be, put it away. Be gentle.

Speaker 1 Put what away. You got to put away the sauce.
Oh,

Speaker 1 that's, man. Hey, man, that's like some kind of black home.

Speaker 1 That's a crime.

Speaker 1 Y'all ain't. Y'all fucking.
Hey, man, you don't do that. Don't point at me.
Jules, could you talk to him?

Speaker 1 Jules, say something. They ain't.
They against.

Speaker 1 I think you need to stop.

Speaker 1 There we go. Listen up.
There we go. Listen up.
You need to stop, dude.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 oh, now he's taking the fun stuff off his face. Yeah, put the fun stuff off his face.
Put the fun face. Yeah, put it back on his face.
I wasn't taking it off his fellow. Oh, sorry about that.

Speaker 1 Let me say this. Let's shift gears.
All right.

Speaker 1 We have had such a good time. Adding Little Black Magic to the show has been amazing.
Keeping Rudy Jules in town. I'm appreciative for the following things about the show.
Here we go.

Speaker 1 My little fancy B looks so good today. Here we go.
George, that jacket is fire.

Speaker 1 Little Rudy Jules, not going away far away to college and staying with us on the show means a lot to me. I appreciate it.
Little Black Magic, what an addition you are to the show.

Speaker 1 Although we might have to put you in a center next year, in a treatment center.

Speaker 1 I've been to all of them. Yeah, he's been to a bunch of them.

Speaker 1 Whatever you need. He's got like a,

Speaker 1 what is it? That was one of those cards.

Speaker 1 I do. Where you can go back.
Oh, I go back. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Welcome back.
Well, it's like a gift card. I can give you a gift card.
We can go. Anyway,

Speaker 1 Doc? Yeah. Because you know that I'm a recovering alcoholic as well.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 You.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I remember. Okay.
You the fucking mess back then. But go ahead.

Speaker 1 Okay. Can we talk about it?

Speaker 1 Well, we're not judging. No, we're talking about judging.
We're not talking. No, it's not judging.
We're not talking about me.

Speaker 1 We don't have a problem here, baby. Come in there.
Oh, fuck. Okay, go ahead.
Doc, you're the one that literally has a problem. You blacked out and missed a fucking dentist appointment at like noon.

Speaker 1 So this is what this is about.

Speaker 1 It's about old Doc Wallace. Okay.
Well, you know,

Speaker 1 here's the deal, dude. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know, we've been before you came to this podcast, we had, every once in a while, talked about you.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 How we love your magical energy. We do.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And we've heard about the black magic. We've heard about the folklore, right? And the books and the fables.

Speaker 1 We know all of our. We know.

Speaker 1 And we brought you in, right? We go, this is a good chemistry. Yeah.
It fits well. We find that your random things that you say and your point of view to be different than ours.
And I think it works.

Speaker 1 I love y'all too, man. Jesus, I love you too.
In the new year. I'm going to go to the Philippines.
Show me that thing you were going to. What is that thing?

Speaker 1 We got some New Year's traditions. By the way, Korean, in Korean New Year's tradition, is Sebai.
How do you say that? Sebai, baby. What is Seba, baby? baby? I have no idea.

Speaker 1 I've never heard of it before. Well, children pay their respect to their elders on New Year's Day with the traditional respectful bow.

Speaker 1 The children perform a traditional bow to the floor while saying, can you read that? Make it big so he can read that. Because it's Sehei Buk Mai Boda.
You're saying it wrong. All right.
Here we go.

Speaker 1 What is it? Sahay Bukmani. Sah buk money.

Speaker 1 Podusayo. Budasayo.
Sahai buk money. Budasayo.
Sahaiyo.

Speaker 1 And then what does it say? The next part of it? What is it? Which means please receive much fortune in the new year. Sahei buk money boda seyo.
bank. We have a we have the bow here.

Speaker 1 We have a, we have a, we have the example of the bow if we want Rudy to do it. Yeah, Rudy, will you do it? Oh, Rudy will.
Oh, look at this. Oh, this is the bow.
Where are you going, man? Let's see it.

Speaker 1 Look, look, Korean class 101, Bob.

Speaker 1 How to bow.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I know how to fucking bow, man. In Korea, when men bow,

Speaker 1 right hand on our left hand, okay, and cover your penis.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 And you cover your penis. Right over your pen.
Oh, that's a different kind of bow. Full-blown.
That's a huge bow. I'm going to go 50.
Yeah. I'm not going to go 100.

Speaker 1 I see. Okay.
Who started the bow? That looks like a burpee. That looks like an up-down.
He's doing exercises.

Speaker 1 I wonder who started the bow. That's interesting.
Pause that. Where did the bow come from? I think it was somebody that was trying to one-up a guy that was waving.

Speaker 1 Yeah, some guy right at town. Imagine this.
Some guy in town. Right?

Speaker 1 Chucky. Chucky.
Chucky. no.
In Korea? No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
Choco. Choco.
Yeah, choco. Choco.
Choco. Imagine the town, right? There was a guy named Choco.
Oh, Choco. He waves.
Big waves.

Speaker 1 Waves. Big waves.
Right? And all the women love it. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know how the Asian women, they giggle? Yeah. There he goes.
Look at Choco.

Speaker 1 He puts his shoulder under it, right? And he does a little... Oh, a little choco dance.
Yeah, a little choco dance afterwards, right? But there was a guy named Bilo. Obilo.
Billow. Oh, Bilo.

Speaker 1 I hate him. Why does he need it? He's waving every day.
Wave, wave. All the women squirt, squirt.
Out of the, you know, the

Speaker 1 boji, how we sing. Boji.
Boji, boji. Squirt, bo-boji, squirt, squirt.
Oh, oh, the dollar.

Speaker 1 How can I? What do I do? I gotta come up. What if I bow with my body? Wave with my body.
Oh, a body wave. Body wave.
But I can't go side. Side to side looks weird, right? So he's in the mirror going.

Speaker 1 Right? Right? He's in the mirror going,

Speaker 1 you know, he did that. What if I do...
No, that looks too much of my, right?

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Oh, forward body weight. There was probably guys in the room.
Yeah. They went, oh, when he did that.
Oh,

Speaker 1 shit.

Speaker 1 That's his thing. He came up with it.
So

Speaker 1 Koji did it? Yeah. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Choco. Choco.

Speaker 1 Billow. Billow.
Billow did it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where the bow comes from.
That's not the camera.

Speaker 1 You learned something on this show. Let me see that.

Speaker 1 That was a long way to go for the house. I don't like it.
I like the stuff. I don't care what you say.
Give me the Irish tradition. Let me see.
What do we do?

Speaker 1 Don't you guys fall because you're drunk so much? Blackout. Yeah, we trip trip of the ball.
That's not a bow, really, right? No, we bet. Oh, the banging bread for bad luck.

Speaker 1 Yep. What do you guys do? Explain that.
Never heard of this in my entire fucking life.

Speaker 1 Another Irish superstition has passed the test of time involves banging on the doors and walls of the family home with Christmas bread.

Speaker 1 It's all about chasing bad luck out of the the house and inviting good spirits in for the new year. So we're supposed to bang Christmas bread against the walls.

Speaker 1 Is this Christmas bread? Yep.

Speaker 1 Ooh, this is good. All right, bang the walls.
Everybody, bang the walls. Bang the walls.

Speaker 1 Do you think we're chasing out the spirits?

Speaker 1 Be gone, spirits.

Speaker 1 Get out of here.

Speaker 1 Get out of here, spirits. I don't know if spirits are gluten-free.
Do you think they are? No, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Too much yeast for the spirits.

Speaker 1 And an Italian, look at this smashing plates and glasses, vases, and pottery against the ground to drive away any bad omens. This is good.
Hey, Francisco.

Speaker 1 Sally left.

Speaker 1 She left me finally. I am so sorry, Mr.

Speaker 1 Sally left. I don't know what to do, man.
I'm just like, I'll tore up.

Speaker 1 Oh, don't do it.

Speaker 1 Don't. You're going to lose your mind.

Speaker 1 Be careful. You want me to go crazy? No, please.

Speaker 1 Francisco, you want me to go crazy right right now? No, please, don't do it. No, don't do it.

Speaker 1 I did it.

Speaker 1 I lose my mind.

Speaker 1 I was crazy.

Speaker 1 I swear you did it. Yeah, yeah, you did it.
This shit worked. It shit worked.

Speaker 1 Holy shit, it worked. Yeah, yeah.
Fuck. My bad.
I didn't know that was. It works.
It works. Did it hurt? A little bit.
Is it really sugary? Can you eat it? Come here. Yeah, go ahead.
Come here.

Speaker 1 All right. All right, me? All right, all right.

Speaker 1 Fuck!

Speaker 1 How fun is that? Yeah, that's fun. Really fun.
All right, watch the eyes, man. Sorry.
Rudy, do Doc over the head. Yeah, do it over the head.
It's not going to hurt. Do it.
It's not going to hurt.

Speaker 1 You can do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Put the hood. Damn.
That was nervous.

Speaker 1 You hate me?

Speaker 1 Why did she hate me with that one? That was good. It's amazing.
It was good. It's amazing.
Hey. Yeah.
Do it to her.

Speaker 1 No, that one's harder. It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt.

Speaker 1 It doesn't hurt. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on, buddy. Amen.
Do it.

Speaker 1 Close your eyes. Close your eyes.
Close your eyes. Ready? Yeah, yeah.
Go!

Speaker 1 The way you did that, dude, was so hard. I didn't know how to boss it, man.

Speaker 1 What were you a fucking asshole? I didn't know if it fucking. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 You're a bully. You're a bully.
You're the way you did that.

Speaker 1 Hold on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it didn't work. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Did it hurt, Rudy? A little bit. Yeah, but it's fun, though, right? It's fun, though, too, right?

Speaker 1 Give me that glass. This one? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Bobby's got to do it to me. The best thing is...
This is heavy. I know.
The best is running through the glass. This is like actually heavy.

Speaker 1 Running out of a glass window, like when you're on set. Have you ever done that? Oh, yeah, running through the window.
It's the best. It is, yeah.
What do you got? Give me one of those. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Let Bobby smash me over the head with this thing. Go ahead.

Speaker 1 You little scattle waggle. Yeah, we're in a bar.
Yeah, you are. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 What'd you call me?

Speaker 1 Lingo. Crat little noodle.
Ah, you little squaggle waggle.

Speaker 1 You little squaggle waggle.

Speaker 1 You little noodle dumpling son of a bitch. I told you.
Oh, do something about it. Do something about it, you asshole.
Do something. Yeah, yeah, you fucking.

Speaker 1 Dude, this is so fun.

Speaker 1 Order more of these. Yeah, well, they have to clean it, which is sad, but it's okay.
It's not fun, guys.

Speaker 1 They're not. That's amazing.
That's amazing. I love that.
Sugar glass. Sugar glass.
But you ran through a window? Oh, yeah. At Mad TV, we used to have to go through windows and stuff.
It was fun.

Speaker 1 Out of sugar glass. Yeah, they used to go, we'll have a stop mag.
I want to do it. Yeah, why not? I just straight through.

Speaker 1 Way more fun. Way more fun.

Speaker 1 Have you ever done that, Doc? You ever ran through sugar glass? Nah, that was my first time with the experience of sugar glass. Really? Yeah, it tastes like shit, though, when you try to eat it.

Speaker 1 You're not supposed to eat it. You're not supposed to eat it.
You're not supposed to eat it. That's kind of the whole point.
You're not supposed to eat.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Unbelievable. I got one in my eye.
I got in my eye. Oh, I'm sorry, dude.
No, it's not your fault. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got a little piece of it in my eyeball. Wait, no.
You have to do it to George.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, come over here, George, please.

Speaker 1 Kneel down here. Kneel down right there.

Speaker 1 No, get him in the back. He wants to go back there.

Speaker 1 Wherever you want to go. Get him in a jacket.
And then hit him with this Perrier bottle. It's true.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Look at George has his George has his red undies on. Oh, look at the little pee-pee pouch.

Speaker 1 Hey, do you mind?

Speaker 1 I can smash

Speaker 1 over your dick. Micah.
No!

Speaker 1 I've never shattered this in front of someone's dick. Put your mic up so I can hear it.
Nobody can hear you.

Speaker 1 I just want to see if this is sensitive enough to break over, shatter over that girthy penis. Over a penis.
It's a beautiful girthy penis. Have a nice penis, kid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want me to try?

Speaker 1 I think you should. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just one little shot. It's breakaway glass.
I know. Just know that

Speaker 1 when it does break, your hand's going to go through and grab his penis. Do the smaller,

Speaker 1 no,

Speaker 1 no, no, no. The big one is good.
The one is the big big one is good. Let's do it.
So you and I

Speaker 1 and I are at a bar. We're talking.
Oh, yeah. Give me that.
Give me that bottle. That green one.

Speaker 1 He's eating the bread. He's eating the bread.
I know, no.

Speaker 1 He's spilling wine. Oh, my God.
This guy. This guy.
This guy.

Speaker 1 This guy. Oh, it's champagne.
Oh,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 This guy.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 Now.

Speaker 1 We're ready. Well, it's a good thing we're moving out of the studio.

Speaker 1 All right, so me and you are drinking at a bar. Ready? And we're wasted.

Speaker 1 I gotta tell you something. This bartender is a real piece of shit.

Speaker 1 You know what his problem is, this guy?

Speaker 1 He's been staring at us. It was Damiel.
You got a problem with us, pal?

Speaker 1 You guys are cut off. You've had to get out of here.
Oh, cut off! This guy!

Speaker 1 Fucking cocksucker. I had to fucking hit this bottle.
I'll tell you something about cut off, my friend.

Speaker 1 Let me tell you this.

Speaker 1 Happy New Year.

Speaker 1 If we did that, we'd be in a funny thing.

Speaker 1 And you know what? The cop's like, what were you guys thinking? And we both go, worth it. Yeah.
It was worth it. George, that felt so good.
Thanks for letting us abuse you, buddy. Thank you, mad.

Speaker 1 Let's cheers to George. Hey.
Hey, George.

Speaker 1 Oh, what is that stuff? Let Fancy talk about that. What is that? Yes.

Speaker 1 Explain to me what the three kings is all about.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 after Jesus was born,

Speaker 1 after who? Jesus. Jesus Christ.
Okay, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 He's born in the 25th of December, as you know. So the 6th of January, three different parts of the world came to visit him with gifts.

Speaker 1 What parts of the world? Like SoCal? I mean, where? Yeah, where are they from?

Speaker 1 Bakersfield? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, one's from Africa, one's from the Orient, and one is...
Well, what's from the Orient? I didn't know that. Yes.
Oh, I didn't know that. Right.

Speaker 1 So, and they give gifts to kids. So in Spain, we didn't have Santa until a few years ago.
So we had to go to the middle. Oh, Santa never made it to Spain? No, he skipped Spain.

Speaker 1 This actually is kind of dope. Yeah, yeah, I want to wear mine.
This robe? I mean, does this look cool, fans? That looks awesome. Wait, so which one am I from?

Speaker 1 So, Doc is the one that's from Africa, which I don't know why. Like, it could have been gone to me or Bobby.

Speaker 1 Bobby's the Chinaman? Yes. There's no Chinese Hiddahiti.
That's what I would say.

Speaker 1 Why do I always see Hirahidi? You always always go to Hidaheedi. I don't know, but I love it.
Hidahidi. Here's one of my things.
What's this? Oh, that's a headpiece. Egyptian headpiece.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I had no idea.

Speaker 1 Bro.

Speaker 1 You look from Dark 30. Do I look like I'm from Zero Dark 30? So good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You look like a little Egyptian prince right now.

Speaker 1 I don't know where Osama bin Laden is. Zero Zero Dark 30.
But you do know. I do know, but I don't.
Like, I saw him yesterday, but I didn't. Right? I'm that guy.
So here we go. This is the kings, huh?

Speaker 1 We three kings.

Speaker 1 So we come into town. We come into town, right?

Speaker 1 Us three coming to town. Yeah.
And what is Jules?

Speaker 1 Our slave. No, they don't have slaves.
Do the three kings have slaves? They had, no.

Speaker 1 Followers. Gentlemen, whatever, like the people who wrangle the camels.
Oh, a camel wrangler. But aren't there girls we hang out with that we just throw rocks at? Yeah.
Cockerbarn. Yeah, yeah.
So

Speaker 1 you're my rock girl.

Speaker 1 Every once in a while, we're traveling, I want to throw a rock at somebody. Concubine.

Speaker 1 You gotta have somebody.

Speaker 1 All right, so it's a Karakonki. So she's no, she's our family.
She's up family. She's our camel wrangler.
Yeah, yeah. We're spiritual people.
Yeah, we don't do anything like that.

Speaker 1 No, dude, we're sons of the Lord. We're good people.
So that's connecting. Yeah.
What does this say? What's this script?

Speaker 1 Pete got us a script. Can I improvise? Because I have my own lines.
Yeah, he has his own. Who am I playing?

Speaker 1 Well, you can play Conrad. I'll play Conrad, all right? Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, so this is Three Kings.

Speaker 1 The Three Kings. I'm the Chinese King.

Speaker 1 Here, do you want to watch the

Speaker 1 movie The Three Kings? Oh, I didn't know. I didn't know there was a movie.

Speaker 1 Oh, Three Kings, the Spike.

Speaker 1 Not Spike. Who did The Three Kings? Spike Jones.
Spike Jones. All right, let's see.
David O'Reilly. David O'Russe.
Yeah, he did it. I don't want to see it.
Let's do it ourselves.

Speaker 1 I want to see what

Speaker 1 we'll make up what we do. Yeah, but Pete fucked it up.
This has nothing to do with my Three kids.

Speaker 1 Pete fucked it up? Yeah, these three kids have nothing to do with the real three kids. Yeah, I know.
One's about the fucking war.

Speaker 1 All right, who's who?

Speaker 1 Am I Conrad? I gotta be Conrad because I memorized my own pen. All right, I'll be Troy.
You zoom in because my eyes are blurred. And then you're chief, okay? Doc, you're chief.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right, go ahead.

Speaker 1 Is that the first line? Here, I'm Conrad, right? Chief Keith.

Speaker 1 Here he, here, here. What is this?

Speaker 1 I have to say here.

Speaker 1 Hitty, hitty, hitty.

Speaker 1 What is this?

Speaker 1 It's your shoot jacket. The Iraqis gave it to me.
Ah, I didn't recognize you with it. Fits all right, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Bad line reading? Yeah, bad. Bad line.
Say that. Give me the line again then.
It fits all right, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Hey, Chief.

Speaker 1 We need your help. Chief runs over to Troy and Conrad.
I'm okay.

Speaker 1 Where's the hit?

Speaker 1 There's no T. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Do it again.

Speaker 1 Where is he hit?

Speaker 1 It's in and out. I think it's just above his collarbone.

Speaker 1 Where's

Speaker 1 the Jesus fire?

Speaker 1 It's all around you right now. God damn, you didn't win, Pastor.
Yeah, it's okay. Can I say my line again? I didn't like it.
Yeah, say it again. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where's

Speaker 1 where's the line? I didn't memorize it. Where's the Jesus? There it is.
To Chief, I look at Chief.

Speaker 1 Where's

Speaker 1 the Jesus fire?

Speaker 1 It's all around you right now. Conrad,

Speaker 1 you're going to be all right? Such a big pause for a comedy. You're going to be all right, man.

Speaker 1 Don't give him a line reading, dude. That's fucking pulse.
Probably the worst line reading. Any other actor, dude.
Okay, go back to the line. Watch me do Doc's line better than Doc.
Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 I'll do Doc's line the way he should have done it. Ready? You, you say, where's the Jesus? I'll do Doc.
Go ahead. Where's the Jesus? Do it.

Speaker 1 I gotta say my line again. All right.

Speaker 1 Heary. Here he, here, here.

Speaker 1 Where's the Jesus?

Speaker 1 It's all around you right now, Conrad. You're gonna be all right.
You're gonna be all right, man. Now, who did it better? Wait, can I recast you? Yes, it's me.
Yeah. I'm gonna do it.

Speaker 1 Why don't we do the Let Me Be Doc? We do an Eddie Murphy thing where you play different roles.

Speaker 1 Where you play different roles.

Speaker 1 You're out. We put a a fat suit on and the whole thing.
You're out. You're out.
All right. Go ahead.

Speaker 1 You fucked up, bro. You fucked up.
You're fired. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is NBC.

Speaker 1 In fact, I want to do my line again because I don't want to get fired either. Where's the Jesus fire? It's all around you right now, Conrad.
You're going to be all right. You're going to be all right.

Speaker 1 Go down. Go down.
Go down. Man, I'm killing Dodd.
That's the scene. Yeah, it's

Speaker 1 204. All right.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 What are you doing? I'm going to hell. Okay.
I know. I know the line.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's cold.

Speaker 1 I'm going to hell.

Speaker 1 You're going to be fine.

Speaker 1 You take me to one of them shrines that gives you comfort and erases all the bad things you did. Hey, we made the right choice today, Conrad.
You stop with that shrine shit.

Speaker 1 Everything's going to be okay. Ah, you think so? I know so.
We're getting out of here. Lord Jesus, save this man.
No, no, give him him another shot. He's not a bad man.

Speaker 1 Look at him.

Speaker 1 Give him another shot. That was rude.
Okay. You were just kidding.
Go ahead. Give him another.

Speaker 1 Lord Jesus, save this man. He's not a bad man, Lord.

Speaker 1 Look at him and look after him and help him if you can. Okay, stop.
Stop.

Speaker 1 Oh, our Father, who art in goddamn heaven. No,

Speaker 1 excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.

Speaker 1 You were fired three lines ago,

Speaker 1 right? And I gave you your job back, and that's what you fucking did.

Speaker 1 I thought I did. That was obviously.
Now let me do that. Let Andrew do that.
Now I'll do it. Now go to the line before.

Speaker 1 Go to the line before. Yeah, go to the line before.

Speaker 1 All right, here we go. Right.
You think so?

Speaker 1 I know. We're getting out of here.
No, no, no. But do it for real.
Ready?

Speaker 1 You just do the choppy. I'm giving you your lines so that you can read the chief line.
I know. We're going to switch.
Troy and Kyle. Ready? You think so?

Speaker 1 What are you doing?

Speaker 1 I'm going to do. We're switching.
So I'm going to do it. Who am I playing? Troy.
Just do Troy. All right.
All right.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. you think so I know so

Speaker 1 we're getting out of here Lord Jesus say this man he's not a bad man Lord look after him and help him if you can our father who art in heaven

Speaker 1 bro

Speaker 1 I would have

Speaker 1 casted you in the room

Speaker 1 I would have casted you in the room

Speaker 1 I would have casted you in the room bro you're gone

Speaker 1 warm up the car yeah yeah I love this outfit I love these outfits we're with the three kings we're three kings you look seriously you look genuinely serious dude look good.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I feel like working with wires.

Speaker 1 Not in a good way. What are you doing with wires? I'm making an iPhone.
You can make an iPhone? With two wires and a piece of metal. You think? Yeah.
Is this strong enough to cut this movie?

Speaker 1 I think it is.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No. Sugar glass.
Can't do it. Oh, wow.
Hey. Hey.
To the bad friends crew. We did it.
We did it. Great couple years.

Speaker 1 You guys. A couple years.
We did it. Happy New Year, buddy.
Hey, to many more years. To many moons and many mans.
To many mans and many moons. And many moon mans.

Speaker 1 I'm going to tell you something that happened. It's really.

Speaker 1 Yesterday, I came home, right? Yeah. And inside our house was a pit bull.

Speaker 1 It's fine, right? But this pit bull, right, has 10 puppies that's inside her belly, and we're giving birth.

Speaker 1 She was due two days ago. We literally have

Speaker 1 we're giving birth to a dog this weekend. Are you excited? I hope the puppies

Speaker 1 stay alive and don't die, though. Holy shit.
Yeah, because they say that that's so dark. I know, but they say that a couple of puppies do die.
No, but it's like, don't think about it like that. Right.

Speaker 1 It's like, you know, when you think about the animals, sometimes I sit and I'm in love with my dog and I look at her. Sometimes I'm like,

Speaker 1 she's not going to be around forever. Don't depress the fuck out of me right now.
She just did it with the dead dog. I know, but you just did it with that.
She just made me feel like that. I know.

Speaker 1 Don't depress the fuck out of me right now. Bro, I have seven animals that I love more than most humans.

Speaker 1 I would say all humans. I don't think you love any human unless as you love the animals.
I love them as much as I love Eric Riffin.

Speaker 1 That's easy. That's easy love.
Easy love. Yeah, probably easy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're going to give birth.
This thing's going to give birth this week. Yeah.
This weekend. Any day.

Speaker 1 Any day now. Any second.
How many are you going to keep? None. What do you mean?

Speaker 1 That's the problem.

Speaker 1 I've looked at these girls and I go, I know what's going to happen. A puppy's going to come out.

Speaker 1 There's going to be a puppy that's going to be so cute that it's going to, you're going to go, you're going to try to convince me to have another dog. Yeah, you probably should, though.

Speaker 1 No, we shouldn't. Why not? It's illegal.
How is it illegal? You can't have more than four dogs in a house. Google that.
That's not true. It is.
That's not true. Yeah, there's a legal number.

Speaker 1 Is there a legal limit to how many dogs you can have in your home in the state of California? I don't buy that. How many dogs?

Speaker 1 Each household may have only four dogs or cats over the age of four months. Over the age of four months.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 If you have five or more, you're required to obtain a special permit, but it's over four months. So you can have all those puppies until they're four or five months.

Speaker 1 Which is what the fuck we're doing right now. They're not even born yet.
I know, but we're going to keep them until four months, but we can't keep them legally. You can, and then nobody knows.
I know.

Speaker 1 Who's going to really know? No one. Who snitches on that stuff?

Speaker 1 Why don't you give one to Doc? Doc, you need a dog. In a studio apartment, bro? That's going to be tight.

Speaker 1 It's a pit bull. It's a pit bull.
Pit bull? Yeah. Give me two of them.
Do you like? No, no.

Speaker 1 Honestly, we have puppies

Speaker 1 that haven't been born yet. Yeah.
If you you want a fresh puppy, right?

Speaker 1 Do you like

Speaker 1 it? I'm going to say something.

Speaker 1 But, Andrew, I'm going to say something that's a little stereotypical.

Speaker 1 It's a little stereotypical.

Speaker 1 And to help me create the language. Yeah.
We help me create the language. Sure.
This dog, right, is for loving.

Speaker 1 This dog is for coddles. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 This dog is for companionship, best friend.

Speaker 1 This dog is not for what?

Speaker 1 Uh-oh. No, I'm asking you, Andrew.
For what?

Speaker 1 Using

Speaker 1 for what is it? Using it as a prop. As a prop.

Speaker 1 That's do you understand what I'm saying? Very, very, very much so. And what am I saying? Well, you

Speaker 1 just call me Michael Vick a little bit. No, sorry.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 That's far fast. And that's a step too far.

Speaker 1 I didn't call you Michael Vick.

Speaker 1 Jules, what do you think about that? Talk to me.

Speaker 1 She doesn't know who Michael Vick is. I don't know.
Good. You don't want to know.
Michael Vick is an NFL football player that got in trouble for fighting pit bulls.

Speaker 1 Are you going to do that?

Speaker 1 You said that with innocence, but no, I don't.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Do you believe him, Jules?

Speaker 1 No. No.
Would you feel comfortable giving him two pit pills? Yeah, me either.

Speaker 1 So I can get one.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 What the fuck? Do you really want a puppy?

Speaker 1 Be real, dude. I would love it if you got.
Yeah, we're not fucking around here. You want a puppy or not? I want a puppy, but they're not in the studio.
I wouldn't do that to the dog.

Speaker 1 It's like being in prison. What do you mean? Just take him on a lot of walks.
I know. Dog, can I just say this?

Speaker 1 It saved. My life.
Yeah. Having an animal.
Really? Yeah, it makes life worth living. It's like

Speaker 1 when I drive home from the comic club, you think it's, I think, oh, I can't wait to see fucking

Speaker 1 pillbug face and Kalila. No, I want to see my dogs

Speaker 1 and my cats. It's true.
Dude, fuck. That was.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that definitely made you a better person. If that's what it's elevated to me, I think you should have a puppy.

Speaker 1 I think you should have a puppy. I think you should get a puppy.
I think I would love one.

Speaker 1 Why don't you come over?

Speaker 1 The puppy is a little bit more.

Speaker 1 Not no like Yorkian pit bull mix. No shit like that.
Like, raw pit bull fuckers. Apparently, beggars can be choosers.

Speaker 1 Prime example. I mean, unbelievable.
Unbelievable.

Speaker 1 What do you care? It's a puppy. It's a dog.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's a lovely little creature that's going to fall in love with you and be a part of your world and want to just be happy and bring you joy and make you feel good.

Speaker 1 And then you want to feel, and then you want it to feel good. So you rub its belly.

Speaker 1 You're not a fully grown human being

Speaker 1 asking for things like that. He wants to know if he's a transparent

Speaker 1 puppy.

Speaker 1 Okay. Does your fancy? Well, let me say this.
He wants to know if it's a trans puppy.

Speaker 1 You want a trans puppy? That's a funny joke. That was too funny for you.

Speaker 1 That callback was too funny.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Well, I mean, what about papers? Can I get papers? What are you talking about? What do you mean?

Speaker 1 Because if you got a dog that Pit Bull has got to have papers, I want papers. And it's a champion breed.
What are we talking about? Well, he says Pit Bull is like the artist. Pit Bull.

Speaker 1 The dog Pit Bull? Does he sing Pit Bull songs?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Will he just sing Mr.
Worldwide songs? He's also saying champion, which makes me scared. Yeah, I know.
What are you looking for? Yeah, what do you want him to do?

Speaker 1 Why do you want to champion, dog? Because I just want him to look good. Look night and muscular.
Yeah, but you don't look good.

Speaker 1 You're a hater. That's what the fuck.

Speaker 1 That's right there. No, you look good.

Speaker 1 I'm so mean. Why am I so mean?

Speaker 1 You know what, dude? I think

Speaker 1 my New Year's resolution, I think, is to be nicer to people. Well, let's make real resolutions.
Yeah, yeah. I'm going to be nicer to people.
Okay, we'll go around the room.

Speaker 1 Bobby, your New new resolution is what?

Speaker 1 I'm going to start putting things in the hole. What? The holes.

Speaker 1 The holes?

Speaker 1 My teeth. Oh, dude.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'm so sorry. My bad.
I should have went around the wrong way. I'm filling the holes.
Yeah, yeah. I've been filling the holes in my mouth.
Yeah. That's number one.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Number two, I'm going to be nicer to people.

Speaker 1 Everybody? Yeah. Everybody.
Yeah, I talk too much shit. Okay, okay.
I talk shit behind people's backs. I agree.

Speaker 1 When they're in the room. Yeah, when they're there.
But that's nice that you write that. I don't want to do that anymore.
That's a good fault. Okay.
That's good that you notice that.

Speaker 1 I want to curb my anger. You have to.

Speaker 1 I'm getting out of control. We've been trying to.

Speaker 1 Right? We've been talking about it.

Speaker 1 Doc, shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 1 We were afraid. Who was going to bring it up?

Speaker 1 We were going to bring it up. But yet, you definitely do need to curb your anger because

Speaker 1 we're on the fence. Okay, I know.
All right, so stop. Rudy, but I'm never mean to you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you're scary. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. I can be.

Speaker 1 There's no doubt. So, look, there's my resolution.
We're all talking about our faults. You don't want to talk shit and be a bad shit talker.

Speaker 1 I want to curb my anger very much, okay? Go ahead, Doc.

Speaker 1 I want to bring that vision board to life. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 You said you took it down.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I really want to make those dreams come true. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Is that real? I don't know if I can support that.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? You have to support it. Don't be an asshole.
It just sounds not real. I know, but we have to support it.
Okay, yeah. He wants three things: a house.
He wants a house.

Speaker 1 He wants to sell out stadiums like Sebastian. And an Instagram model.
And he wants an Instagram model of a girlfriend.

Speaker 1 That doesn't have a penis. Girlfriend or wife? Yeah, yeah.
Wife. Wife.
Yeah, I'm ready. Those are the three things you need.
You're going to get married, buy a house, and sell out stadiums in 2022.

Speaker 1 Kevin Hart in 2022. That's what I'm trying to tell you.
Phil it.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Can we clip this and make sure we play this next year on next?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't be like,

Speaker 1 Rudy, Rudy, what's yours?

Speaker 1 I'll try to be more happy being here.

Speaker 1 Boy, do I know when some resolutions aren't going to fucking come through. It's going to happen.

Speaker 1 Why are you not happy being here? I think she is. Can I be honest with you? She is.
There is a little bit of an uptick in terms of your enthusiasm to do it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but try harder, please. She is trying.
I think today was good. No, she is.
All right, what's yours, fans?

Speaker 1 I'm going to make the Bad Friends movie, and we're going to make a hit next year. We are going to make the Bad Friends movie.
We're going to go film in Spain at the end of the year. Yeah.

Speaker 1 George, what's yours? God damn it. Mine is to stand up for myself more.
Shut up, you fucking bitch.

Speaker 1 You little fucking bitch. Get in here.
He wants to do a stand-up.

Speaker 1 He wants to do a stand-up again. Milk your tits, bitch.
Milk your fucking little fat tits, bitch.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry I talked, guys. Yeah, yeah.
Shut your mouth. Do a New Year's prayer, you guys, together.
Both of you. Go.

Speaker 1 Dear Lord.

Speaker 1 Line by line. Each one, switch.
Thank you for Bobby and Santino. Yeah.
Bad friends. You're welcome.
Thank you for the love

Speaker 1 that

Speaker 1 they have to offer.

Speaker 1 That we have to?

Speaker 1 Yeah. There's a requirement? Yeah.
Huh? Thank you for fancy and the guys in the back, even though they don't do much.

Speaker 1 That's not the right.

Speaker 1 They do. Thank you

Speaker 1 for the food that Andreas and George always give me. That's true.

Speaker 1 This bread was kind of stale, you think it was a little bit. No, but okay, well, thank you.
And we love y'all. Thank y'all for all the listeners, even the negative ones.
We love you.

Speaker 1 Thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 What do the Spaniards do?

Speaker 1 Scumbags.

Speaker 1 Red underwear, bringing into the new year,

Speaker 1 wearing red underwear as a New Year's tradition popular in Spain. If someone's if somebody's giving you red underwear, it's a gift.
It's even luckier. Fancy?

Speaker 1 What is that?

Speaker 1 Red underwear.

Speaker 1 Wait a minute.

Speaker 1 Do you, do you, do you have red underwear on, fans? I willing. I mean it.
Hey, Andrew. Yeah.
I think we need a riding staff. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This has gotten out of control. This has gotta be out of control.
This has gotten way out of control. We need a riding staff.

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't know what to do with this as a bit.

Speaker 1 I don't know either. Made in China.
Made in China. Okay.

Speaker 1 He said it big enough to put over your clothes. Yeah, we heard him.
We heard him. Okay.
Not going to do it. No.

Speaker 1 No. It's insane.