Christmas VS. Hanukkah w/ Lil Dicky

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LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots? You're Jewish. Yeah, and you're Irish.
You two are disgusting. You two are something.
We're bad friends. That's it.
Happy Hanukkah. Happy Hanukkah, bad friends.
Bobby is gone. And today we have the one and only, the unique, the lovely, the special, the talented, my sweet prince, Dave Bird.
Thank you for having me. Is Bird Jewish? B-Y-R-D? B-U-R-D.
You don't even know how to spell my last name. What do I care? We all work together.
I love you two. What do I give a shit? My recollection, and maybe I'm just making this up, is that it's actually rooted in Berdowski.
Berdowski. That could be a total fit.
But you know, the skis back home in Chicago, ski means, usually skis are like Polish. Oh, wow.
I've got some something in me. I got some sort of, I don't know.
Because you could be Polish Jewish. Yeah.
Because skis, like up skis, any of the SKIs is all usually Polish. Dave, I want you to meet a very good friend, a great comic.
This guy has the friendliest face I've ever seen in my life. This is Black Magic.
We all here. This is Doc Willis, you love your face thank you bro he likes you he was he was saying before the show he's too shy now but he was saying how much he likes you but you can tell him now that you like him you're a good dude hey uh instantaneous love haim michet what's that what haim michet you don't know who haim michet is the uh former general and uh 30 year space chief of israel he he's the one who said what is this he does this shit all the time I'm telling you who to do this Haim Mashed he's from Israel he's the one who said there was a galactic federation in that the United States in contact with aliens Haim you're a, how do you spell his name? I want to look him up.
How do you spell that? H-A-I-M H-A-I-M E-S-H-E-D You know the prime former, well, Benjamin Netanyahu. Shout out to Netanyahu.
Well, I don't know about that, but he went to my high school. Wait, seriously? He's like from Philly.
Is he? Yeah, where he went to high school. Click on news.
Netanyahu was... Cheltenham High School.
Cheltenham? Yeah. We don't want to shout him out, but okay, this is Hayim Ashad.
This is him. Now click on news.
And what was his deal? He was the one who said that the United States was in contact with aliens and that there was a galactic federation and that Trump knew about it. Well, he's right.
Are we saying he's wrong? It sounds like he's right. Well, he's the dude.
Former Israeli space security chief says extraterrestrials exist and Trump knows about it. I believe all this.
I believe every single second of this. Let's get it.
Aliens are out there. We've seen the aliens.
I feel as though there must be. But I honestly don't feel like if there was they would tell Trump that's the thing I guess they'd have to he couldn't know that and not tell everyone because he's the egomaniac I found him first I found the aliens they were fucking each other you know what's so funny though I think all the richest people in the world do have contact with the aliens.
They were fucking each other. You know what's so funny though?

I think all the richest people in the world

do have contact with the aliens.

I believe that.

Like an Illuminati type of alien.

100%.

Of course I believe that.

I think once you reach the multi-billionaire status,

you get granted access to that stuff.

Because otherwise, why earn all that money?

Look, you have a lot of money.

You're rich.

Let's just say that.

You're rich.

It's true.

Okay?

All right.

So you're rich,

but you're not wealthy.

I don't know the aliens, no. Yeah, no.
You're not like them. No.
But you know right now you're comfortable financially what you have. Yeah.
It's great money. Yeah.
You make a great living. I can take a year off.
You can take a few years off. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
You can't. No.
No. You 100% can't.
No. You can't even take a week off.
Yeah, yeah. A day yeah day off day off and i'm fucking fuck forever so but look at it like this what's the incentive to earn more money than that you have plenty of money what do you do you want do you want more money money doesn't really drive me i know um so what would drive you meeting the fucking alien yeah that would drive me someone said if you got a billion, you'll meet the aliens.
Let me ask you this.

Yeah.

Right now,

someone comes to you and they say,

if you want to find out

everything there is to know

about everything,

I will take you on a month,

one month tour of aliens,

past, future.

The whole,

any like question you have

will be totally answered

in a month.

And then you have one day back on earth to, know log the information and then you die would you take that deal what do you say doc that's a deep cut that's really hard you die so one day you get to spread around I'll give you a week back on earth then yes a week but no one's gonna believe a word you say I know but it's so fun but for one week

you get to push around

this narrative

to everyone you know

and write everything down

and just be like

listen you can believe me

or not

I'm gonna be dead

on Saturday

so if you prophesize

your death

then they might believe you

they'll just think

that you were a kook

and you committed suicide

because some cult

got here

but how do I die

how do I die

after the week

spontaneous combustion

Grand Canyon

what am I doing

in Arizona

you're off the Grand Canyon

that's not the answer

the question

that's not it

I just wake up

I'm sitting on the edge of the Grand Canyon? Yep, and you're hurled. And who pushes me? The Illuminati.
No footage. No one knows it.
I think you jump between you and me. I'm forced to jump.
Yeah. I love it.
Yeah. When I was younger, I used to go to, I mean, I went one time and I was like 10 and I was so confident.
Imagine the stress on my parents. I used to say to them, I'm telling you, I can jump and brace this fall.
In the Grand Canyon? In the Grand Canyon. So the whole trip, I was threatening jumping and I really believe that I could survive it, which is- To this day? No.
Let's go. I don't want to do that now.
Fuck it. Wait, you really as a child thought you could jump and yeah why dave why did you think that i think it's self-persement i used to think that too that's too much yeah i used to think that too like if you jump from a long distance maybe before your knees hit you like collapse and roll over some shit like that like i don't know bad logic guys that's 6 000 feet up yeah that's a grand can i'm feeling you though though, Dickie.
I'm with the jump. I understand what you guys are saying.
I have that thought in elevators all the time. Like, look, I was in Philly.
I was in Philly. And in the hotel, it was so old downtown.
Yeah. And you can feel that when it stops, it kind of jiggles a little bit.
Yeah, I don't like that. So I thought that one night I was coming down and I thought, if this broke, all you have to do is wait till it's close to the bottom and then jump the last second right before it hits.
And the top of it smashes your head and then you're paralyzed but at least you're alive. So my neck is shattered.
Your thoughts are still do comedy. I'd crush.
Might do better. I'd crush.
Oh yeah, you'd be fucking going, my album would be called Going Down. You'd be the new Stephen Hawkins.
Going Up? Stephen Hawkins comedy? Yeah, yo. This guy knows what I'm talking about.
When somebody leaves, you going to take a shit or a piss down? That's so mean. Stephen Hawkins doing comedy, though.
He would just- He would absolutely murder't absolutely murder yeah murder you can get away with anything with a computer you can say because

because he didn't mean it he can say it and didn't mean it oops yeah my b my b my b

look at this bitch's tits

if a computer says all that how are you to blame yeah all right let's go over some stuff right now

because doc wants to learn happy hanukkah we're late we know we're late yeah but we're anti um

We're going to learn. Happy Hanukkah.
We're late. We know we're late.
Yeah. But we're anti-Christmas this year.
We did Christmas last year. Amen, brother.
The Christians can take a hike. It's way too much.
And it's the week of Christmas, which is when we're putting this out. Good.
So you know what? Good. Hanukkah twice.
That's what we're doing this year. I'm happy this is coming out after Hanukkah.
Yeah, because Hanukkah twice. Because here's the problem with Hanukkah.
This has always been my issue. It's not enough nights.
Not enough. That's serious.
That's literally what I was going to say. Really? Why eight? Well, as the story has it, if I recall, that's how long the oil and the candles last.
They could have stretched it out. I think the whole premise of Hanukkah is that they scratched it out for eight.
It's like a miraculous thing that they even made at eight nights. All right, so let's make it more nights.
So they just party for eight days straight? I don't think it was a party. I think it was more survival.
In this day and age, they celebrate for eight days. Okay.
But back then, it was to stay alive. Oh, I didn't know that.
Yeah, we got eight little knick-knack gifts. Maybe one How many are in front of you? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
Get it. They know what they're doing here.
Why don't you open one of them? Why don't you open one?

These are for me?

Yeah.

Every time you open one, I have to light a candle, though, of course.

So go ahead and open one.

Those are for you.

I'm excited.

Yeah.

I haven't gotten any gifts this season.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

My parents just give me a check.

For Hanukkah?

Yeah.

Real Jewish, huh?

Now they do just every year.

Just a check?

No, not even.

It's gotten lower.

Now they just re-update my NBA league pass every year. That's huge.
What do you mean? That's huge. That's dope.
Do you even, an NBA league pass? No, I can't even compete with a shit like that. It's like 500 bucks.
No, it's like 150. Oh, really? Why did I think it was expensive? Well, what is it? What am I thinking? Sunday ticket is more expensive.
I ain't even got a cable, fellas. Sunday ticket's like 400 bucks.
You don't have cable, Doug? No, I don't have cable. I'm like...

Looks like it might be a mug.

What is it?

Oh, a brain mug.

Beautiful.

It's your own merch.

We're giving you your own merch.

So did you buy it too?

So I'm making money off of this gift?

You're making money off the gift.

We bought it.

That's the best type of Jewish.

Feel that.

Feel that.

Feel that.

Double up on it. When I bought mugs.
What does it say, by the the way this bitch don't know about pangia oh yeah yeah what a good video thank you you did the video yeah yeah and tony tony directed yeah tony who directed many episodes on our show yeah uh dave which uh bobby mocks constantly and calls it davy because he's jealous that he's yes Sex and the City. Yeah.
What made you get into rapping? You know, I- This guy. Entertainment Tonight question.
Oh, yeah. That's what I'm talking about.
Boom. Straight to it.
Hey, man. Tell me what made you get into rapping.
Well, you know this is a bad dude talking to a Jewish dude. You know, Jewish.
You know. What do you mean Jewish shoots on rap? You ever heard Beastie Boys they Jewish yeah oh I didn't know that

Drake is Jewish

Drake is half Jewish

Drake is half Jewish

yes

so is Jadakiss

fuck

Jim Jones

yeah

he's Jewish

yeah

Jim Jones

no but you didn't know

the Beastie Boys are Jewish

no

I thought they were just

regular old like

trailer park dudes

getting it

trailer park dudes

yeah

hold on

bro bro

that's trailer park right there

Thank you. Beastie Boys are Jewish? No.
I thought they were just regular old trailer park dudes getting it. Trailer park dudes? Yeah.
Hold on. Bro, bro.
This is why we love black nature. That's trailer park right there.
Hey, what trailer park do you know exists in the city of New York? Where are the trailer parks? He's thinking 8 Mile M&M. Oh, you're thinking M&M? He's thinking White Rappers.
You know M&M. They don't have trailer parks in New York.
Trailer parks in Brooklyn? Have you been to Brooklyn? He thinks they're from like middle America. No, not really.
I've been there to the little clubs out there, but I haven't been in Brooklyn, Brooklyn. You know what I'm saying? Shout out to Jay-Z.
No, don't shout out Jay-Z. You don't know what you're talking about.
Oh, sorry. All right, well, you know what I'm trying to say.
The Beastie Boys are from New York City. Okay, they are.
Where did you think they were from? I thought they were from a little bit like Iowa, a little bit. Yeah.
Something like that. Yeah, maybe.
They put off an Iowa vibe. Yeah, they got the fucking cornfield vibe.
You feel me? You feel what I'm saying, Dick? You feel me? No, he's doing this to help you out because this is insane. Hey, fam, fam, you know.
No sleep till... Brooklyn! Oh, shit! It wasn't Iowa City.
No sleep Sleep till Lincoln, Nebraska! The drive from Iowa was so long. So far, yeah, and they didn't want to pass out.
Stay up. Why did I get into rap? You know, I always wanted to be a comedian my whole life.
That was my dream, even as a boy. I made people laugh as a kid, and I was like, this is an irreplaceable feeling.
do this forever and i i kind of rapped uh you know for fun and and i wasn't i wasn't necessarily like wow you're a great rapper but i was like and i was seeing you know lonely island i saw these guys and they were becoming incredibly successful off of comedic rap and i was like there's no one else doing it so i thought what if i use my funny ideas because i didn't know anybody i didn't know how no one could I give a script to. I didn't know how to make film.
It just felt like the most accessible way to do it was on my computer. I have GarageBand.
I can literally make high quality music from my apartment, my room. So I started rapping with the intention of being noticed as a comedian.
And it kind of just worked like a sport. The more I did it, the better I got.
And it's like, I've always loved rap. It was a total dream to be a rapper of mine too.
But it was like, my dreams growing up were comedian, rapper, basketball player. One of those was never going to happen.
I feel like, honestly, two of them felt like they weren't going to happen. Yeah, but one of them for sure wasn't going to happen.
Yeah, but it felt like as I was rapping and getting better, it felt like as if I started playing basketball and got good enough to play in the NBA. That's how I feel every day.
But then you meet six, eight black dudes and you're like, never mind. This is insane.
If every black dude in the NBA looked like him, you'd be in good shape. You would be dope.
Yeah, you could post me up and get it. Hey, but I was going to say, everybody out there in Tel Aviv, this is the guy you want to look up to.
All right, keep it going. Everybody out there in Tel Aviv.
This is the guy. Don't you forget it.
And I performed in Tel Aviv. Let me tell you, I felt a lot of admiration.
How many times did you perform over there? I performed there once, but never have I felt, he's right, I have never felt like bigger as a star. As a rapper.
Just as like, yeah, as like a presence, like when I walked down the street than I did in Israel.

Wow. Wow.
And it was...

Yeah, because you like the fucks, man. And the hummus.

God, the hummus is off the chain. It's incredible.

You like hummus? Hell yeah, bro.

With some fucking townhouse crackers.

Townhouse crackers. That's always the tradition.

That is the tradition. When you go to the

Middle East, I do say, they do

have good hummus and townhouse crackers. Hey, that's how we do it in America get it dude it's so funny to be half cultured oh yeah no I love hummus you gotta give me them townhouse crackers half culture is so funny to me that's how we get it yeah no I love kebab I mean I mess with gotta put it in a pita put that in a wrap hey fans what did you ask about the gold listen how offensive this question is you're gonna love it he literally walked in here he's Spanish so we don't trust him at all but he literally walked in as he's setting up the room and he goes to Pete the other producer he says why why do they like this gold so much this is what he wants to know why there's the gold and then Pete tried to explain to him what this is and it's a game right yeah with the dreidel yeah but but honestly doesn't help the image no the gold thing doesn't really help I gotta tell you I haven't really thought about it it's a bad idea yeah I mean look it's spread out on the table yeah and pete pete's kid pete's kid is pete's kid isn't jewish goes to a jewish elementary school preschool preschool yeah preschool and i was like well i didn't know you know how'd you get him in and he's like well they don't know he's not jewish until they change his diaper right and they see his little uncircumcised snake yeah you're served thoughled.
I'm clipped too. But see, but we did it.
It was like a normal thing for my generation to do it. Yeah.
It wasn't like a Jewish or not or a European or not. Every kid I knew was clipped.
Are you circumcised? Yeah. Yeah, you gotta be, right? You gotta have a head.
I mean, I feel, I forget where it's at, but I recall there being new philosophies on circumcision today where it's like almost, there's like some sort of, I don't way the science is telling you i think i think what it says we did research this one time on the show i think it says that it's um in today's society it's so easy to clean and have high the hygiene levels are so high you don't need to do it anymore because everyone washes so often yeah it used to be you bet you bathe once a month whatever you would get infections all that stuff that's why yeah it became standard what do you what's your word for the debris in the forest shmegma yeah it's always been shmegma do you know that isn't that a jewish i think it sounds look up if shmegma is jewish that'd be cool if like a jewish catchphrase well that's what i mean think about it they were like why are we clipping makes sense. It is kind of ridiculous though.
Like when you got circumcised, you didn't have all of your friends and family come over and witness your dick get cut. Yeah, I did.
Oh, you did? Yeah, I did. Well, I did it when I was 30.
Wait, so non-Jews have- I'm kidding. We don't do that.
That's insane. We do it in the hospital.
We get it out of the way. We do it behind closed doors.
Don't let that fall. That's a sin against man.
Yeah, it's a sin for all. I gave you a pin to clip it into your hair.
I didn't see it. on it itself I don't wanna I know you don't wanna miss are you clipped? I am clipped shmegma shmegma from Latin from Latin borrowed from ancient Greek and it's smegma alright nevermind alternative form of smegma soap detergent is schmuck a Jewish word I wipe by clean what does that say is schmuck a Jewish word of course do capture these searches in real time? Next we come to schmuck, which is the English rather vulgar definition of a contemplable or foolish person.
In other words, a jerk in Yiddish. It's schmuck.
Yeah. Literally means penis.
Schmuck means penis? I have not known that. Yeah.
I didn't know that either. What's the other word for penis in Yiddish? There's another one.
Yeah. What's the other word? Shung? I don't think- What did you text me before this? How bad of a Jew you are? I'm not a good Jew.
I think I'm a better Jew than you are. And I'm not even Jewish.
I'm like so out of the loop in terms of what to do. It's okay.
Yeah. I feel as though I represent it like pretty reasonably culturally.
Like I have like the spirit of like a good Northeast Jew. You know why? The hair.
Just the way you look. Yeah.
You couldn't, you look. And like sound and talk.
And feel. I think my behavior is very like.
And feel. Yeah, you don't have.
You do a lot of Jew shit. Yeah.
Yeah, but it's like. I read Jew.
Yeah, a mile away they go, Jew! Oh yeah. Which don't do that at home.
And I'm proud of that. I am proud of that.
You should be. You should be.
I just, you know, all these, you know, I went to Hebrew school as a kid. I was, you know, I was in the know.

I was every week, two days a week going to Hebrew school.

Where at?

K-I, Knesseth Israel in Cheltenham, Pennsylvania.

Oh, wow.

You from the home?

Oh, you from, oh, you real, real.

Yeah.

No, no, no.

He's from Pennsylvania.

Yeah, I don't know.

Do you think he's from Israel?

He said he was.

Knesseth Israel is the name of the synagogue.

It's the name of the synagogue.

Oh, fuck.

Okay.

All right.

We should have kept going with that.

He is from Israel.

Yeah, okay. You do know that.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he is.
Oh, that's dope. I miss Israel.
You do? I just went one time. I mean, the women were the most beautiful.
Smoke shows. But the men, on the other hand.
I went to a club and I just remember like, I've never in my life, like, did I, like, you know, I have a very like, if my life on, in theory is very, if any life was like entourage like, it'd be like mine. And I never really feel that way.
Normally, it's just a very curmudgeon-y Jewish person's day. But there was this one moment where I was walking to my table in Israel, where they walked me in into the thing.
I swear, it was directed as if it was a one-take shot, where the right woman passed and smiled at me. And then they let doves out.
When you sat down? What? Yeah. You've got to go back to Israel.
What are you doing here? Well, my one complaint about Israel is that it's a little too sunbeaten. Is that hot out there? It's hot, but it's just like drained of color.
That's my one complaint. What, no trees or what? What's going on? I got a couple of complaints.
what ready for my complaints about israel yeah hold on what do you mean sun beaten yeah because like the buildings look like they've just been like smacked by the sun and they have been but like so it's i'm more of like a san francisco pastel color type of you like it you like the jacket my jacket and everything there's a little monochromatic for me in terms of just looking around and enjoying the aesthetic. Feels like Arizona.
Yeah. How things are kind of like all taupe or whatever.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, but that's also historic. It is historic.
So I have a different level of respect for it. Oldest place in the world, right? Well- Isn't it the oldest epicenter of the world? There's old shit going on.
Let's just make it up. Yeah.
It's the oldest place in the world. Went to the Western Wall with Gator.
Wailing Wall? Yeah. It's the Wailing Wall.
I think they're the same. And what do they call it that? People cry at it? Yeah, like, yeah, people were there and they're just like, balling.
They're having like emotional, the Gator had been emotionally moved. Gator was moved by it? Gator still references that moment in his life.
I like to cry. Very funny to me.
Did you cry at the wall? No. You don't feel anything? Oh, you broke into tradition.
No, I mean, it was cool. It was cool.
I wrote a little something and put it in the, you know. You write a little note and put it in the wall.
Can you tell me what you said? Couldn't even remember. It's probably like, keep going, brother.
Who's that for? I don't even know. What's the Vegas of Israel? Funniest thing you've ever said i think it's tel aviv what's the vegas of israel so many other ways to say you know what i mean tel aviv had all the cocaine and shit like okay yeah and i there was a a man that i just want to connect maybe it's not that good of a story but i basically actually i went to an international peacemaking camp.
I don't know if you know this about me. No.
When I was like 14, I went to this camp called Seeds of Peace International Camp, which is a really interesting, amazing organization that takes people from different conflict groups like Israel and Palestinians and Indians and Pakistanis. And they put all these people under one roof, more or less.
And they coexist during a summer. And they play sports together.
But then every day, there's like a two-hour dialogue session. And there's like 15 Americans that are like top of their class that get into the...
The only reason I got in is because my cousin used to run it. And so like every other American there was like an Ivy League student.
And I was only there because my cousin... You have to apply to get in? You have to apply.
It's very hard to get in. Wow.
And so then every day I was sitting in these conflict sessions where Israelis and Palestinians are just like talking, like the smartest 14-year-olds in each country and they're talking about the issues. And it's tricky because both sides, they have different histories in terms of what they think, who was there first and what happened.
And it was just very interesting to witness. But there was a guy there who I went to camp with named Daniel.
There weren't many kids like me at that camp who were athletic, just seemingly kids that I would be friends with if I went to high school. Where you were athletic? I was athletic, yeah.
And I always won the award. Are you questioning his athleticism? No, I'm just saying.
He just- I was very athletic. Yeah, I didn't see the- You never seen this guy play basketball on our show? No, I've never.
Hey, man, I ain't trying to diss Israel. No.
Shout out. Better Help.
Andrew? Yes, Bob? I love you. I love you so much.
And the reason why I can say that is because I went to Better Help. You used therapy.
Yeah, I couldn't discover and find the love for you.

Yeah.

But now I'm like full of feelings and I like to share things.

I like to be open.

Honestly, me, Kalilah, people in the house, we've all done BetterHelp.

You can start communicating with your counselor in under 48 hours.

Yeah.

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Yeah, that's what I like. Yeah.
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No, but you just assumed for some reason that he wasn't athletic. Why is that? Explain why you don't have the physique.
Explain why you think on fucking Hanukkah, why do you think he's not athletic? Hey man, you make a... You didn't look like you, you know what I mean? Every year at my other overnight camp.
A what? Accountant maybe. When you said athletic.
I used to win best athlete who doesn't look like an athlete every year. Oh, see? Yeah.
See, they know. Yeah.
I'm telling you, bro. I feel it.
Okay. What is Doc? Does Doc look athletic? No.
Oh, yeah. You see how that feels? You didn't like that, did you? Yeah, that hurt.
Assumptions are annoying. They're fucking, yeah, bro.
So don't assume. Okay.
That was my bad. But you look gentle.
My bad. Thank you, bro.
You look sweet. I'm glad I look sweet.
Yeah. I'm glad I look...
He's a fucking mass murderer. Straight killer.
You know what I'm saying? No, go ahead. He used to sell rock in the hood.
That's cool. Does he look...
If he was like, no, man, I used to sell, would you believe it? If he said it like that. Well, that's what he said.
You don't look like... When you told us that you used to sell, I didn't believe an ounce of it.
Oh, yeah. Because people who sell...
No pun intended. I didn't believe a gram of it.
Usually people who sell look tough as shit. That's not true, though.
That's what's the problem. That's how you know you don't sell.
Yeah, that's how you know. Well, not anymore.
I couldn't. I mean, the cops were like, he's right there.
How could you hide? It's just like, oh, they think that all the women that they see on New Jack City, that's how the crackheads look. It's like, nah, they're actually just regular working class people.
And some of the women look really good on the streets. Depends on how deep in the rock they are.
Yeah, depending on, yep. Yeah, if you're in the first couple of months, if you're in the, the first stage, yeah, if you're in the honeymoon stage of a crack, yeah, you're going to smoke crack.
No, dude, you're not. No, never.
He already asked me this. Yeah, yeah no but he was in like yes he was like hey you do i was drilling because i didn't believe it i think if you sell enough at some point you're gonna try yeah i understand that you're gonna try it why because it's around and you and it's curiosity and boredom once once selling these these working class people exactly what am I selling these working class people and what were you selling them crack poison and never once fucking never but why would you it's just don't make when you I guess because y'all they never sold but when you're around people that fucking smoke crack you look at them like I'll never do this shit ever that's what it's like I know but the human experience human experience has a lot of...
We like to try things that are going to hurt us anyway. We like self-destruct.
I know, you're different. That's that white side.
You're different. Open another gift.
It's time. I think we're supposed to let these burn out all the way.
Isn't that the whole deal? Yeah. But I mean...
No, no, no. But I'm saying, don't you let one burn out before the other one goes? Is that a double? It seems like a link.
So you light one candle at a time or you light all of them what you're supposed to do is you light one every night you light one and it burns out but we don't have time this is why oh my god what is it Marathon Marathon Man DVD oh Marathon Man on DVD I've never seen this movie are you serious you serious? Oh my god. It's such a good movie.
That's good. And is that the CD that goes along with the soundtrack? Barbara Streisand, my mother's favorite artist.
Barbara Streisand, the essential. Apparently, my mom says she is the most incredible voice of anyone ever.
That's not true at all, but she is a great singer. There's no way she could have the best voice of all time.
She's known as a pretty distinct vocalist.

It's phenomenal.

But what about, I don't know, Aretha Franklin?

Well, it depends on what genre of music you listen to.

But what is she?

She's considered what?

What's her saying?

Jewish.

She's considered Jewish music?

Somebody goes, what kind of music do you play?

She's like, Jewish.

They're like, I got it.

I don't know what she is.

I know that there was a show tune past. Didn't she do yentl or fiddler on the i don't know i'm gonna say yes yeah i'm gonna just gonna say yeah yeah that's kind of like how comedians used to do the the cat skills you know like the the what do they call it market i'm so ignorant uh yentl film yeah there you go there she is yeah look at her beautiful eyes but mother What else? Is anything else beautiful? Do you like just her eyes? She's shaped like a...
What? Like a boy, it seems, in this movie. Give me a good picture of Barbra Streisand.
That's a good look. Did you find her attractive? So your mother was obsessed with her.
Did you find her attractive when you were a kid? No, I never... No, because she always felt very motherly.
And then I'm seeing her in the movies, like Meet the Fockers or whatever. Right.
One of my goals in life is to get my mom meeting Barbara. How can we not make that happen? I feel like that's so easy to do.
As famous as you are, as connected as you are. I'm not going to reach out to her and be like, hey, can I bother you and have you meet my mom? Let me say this.
Knowing what you know about sweet Jewish women like your mom, why wouldn't she want to meet your mom? She would want to, but it's just, you know, it needs to be like at an event or there needs to be some sort of like- Right. We need to like pigeonhole this thing.
Yeah. We need to make it at where it's like, Barbara.
Yeah. You won't believe that my mother is- Yeah.
Get her on the show. Have my mom come at the same time.
I was just going to say, why don't we put her on the show? Or if you ever get connected, do the surprise type of thing. That'd be dope.
Speaking of which, people can't stop asking me if we're going to do the show again. It's almost annoying.
Yeah. And I tell them no.
Yeah, we're done. We quit.
We retired. Like I said, I've generated enough wealth to take off.
It's well, and you're not alien wealth, but you're getting there. We are going to do the show again.
We're going to do the show. People stop asking.
Can't stop, won't stop. Can't stop, won't stop.
Yeah. We're going to do 50 seasons.
Yeah. I don't know, man.
I never found her attractive. I remember my mom liking her too.
I think she's beautiful in that. Really? Oh my God.
Not for me. That picture's so for me.
I love her. I guess she was okay.
Hair and her hat and her hat. I'm so into that picture.
Does you find her attractive, Doc? She was just, what? A couple drinks in, a was just what? couple drinks in couple drinks in okay yeah he needs a little bit of intoxication look at her like nice little necklace like just light and subtle yeah sure but I mean you know her eyes are like piercing blue beautiful they're beautiful yeah I love her in that picture you know look she's and she's Jewish she's like what she's Jewish right oh you're trying to I was over here thinking again I was like well maybe she fuck you yeah yeah she's also from Iowa Iowa City just like the Beastie Boys she's gotta be from New York you fucking with me Tino yes 100% of course get real alright bring some of the Jewish terms up so we can teach Doc because Doc needs to learn. All right.
Do you know what a Bubby is? Do you know what that is? No. What the fuck? Well, you can read it.
Bubby. Oh, Grandma.
You never heard that before? Nana. No, not Nana.
Abuela. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
No, he just does all of them. Hell yeah.
You give him one, he doesn't stop. Can you call your grandma Bubby? No.
My grandmothers were dead before I was born. Oof.
Yeah. Really? Yeah.
Why? Just death. Cancer? Old age? My cancer and I guess old age.
I don't know why my dad- Because that's quick to die. I mean, your parents weren't old when they had you.
No, they both died like 60s, 70s. Yeah.
You're not going to lie to that. I died right before- I know.
I'm 38 and out, brother. This is it.
Yeah. 38 and out? Like it's a route? Cowboy, hitch right, 38 out.
I had a stepmother who really acted and treated me, and she was a wonderful woman. Yeah.
But I called her by her first name.

What was her?

Jean.

Jean's a great name.

Your grandma?

My mom's name, too.

Yeah.

Wow.

If I call my grandma by her first name, she would be so mad at me.

I call my parents by their first names, too.

I would have been knocked down.

You do?

Yeah.

I can't.

Yeah.

You call mom.

Yeah.

What do I call them?

It's so weird.

Yeah, mom, and then daddy-o, pop, or- That's cool. Daddy-o and pop are so much better.
Or whatever I'm mad about. He called me yesterday.
My great aunt doesn't like us calling her by her first name. We have to call her auntie.
Yeah, but auntie's great. Auntie sounds great.
Aunt first, and then her name. I'll tell you what's not Jewish is auntie.
Yeah, you can't do that in the Jewish community. I know auntie's in the Jewish community.
That's? First of all, auntie 100% is a black term. Oh, it is? Even just auntie.
Whites don't do auntie. Now, wait a minute.
If you watch Desi porn, some of it has auntie in there. Wait, so watch what? Desi porn.
When you Google Desi porn from from pornhub desi it's india porn so they have like he teaches me stuff okay desi auntie porn is a real that's a thing that you go to like uh i don't know i just look up desi and then you don't be weird just tell me i'm telling you straight up i'm telling you straight up desi is like indian porn but desi means what what does desi mean i have no clue all i know is look up desi if you just type in indian porn you'll see titles like desi auntie desi desi desi this desi that so then i'm like oh okay desi is a word used to describe people culture and products of an indian subcontinent and their diaspora derived from zoom in derived from sans, meaning land country, Desi traces origins,

specifically the people,

the country of India,

Pakistan,

and Bangladesh.

So Desi is kind of,

it's a regional definition of

that area of porn.

There it is.

Right.

Well, so now you know.

You should learn stuff

before you jerk off to it.

What are you guys' process

as far as,

like,

locating the porn

that you jerk off to?

Because I feel like

the process I use,

I don't understand

why everyone doesn't,

it seems very just...

I like the algorithm

decide for me. Exactly.
Yeah. You go there, I click on as much things as i like and then then it says related videos and then you're always for the rest of time i let the algorithm decide so you look you here's what here's what we do you let your cookies match you yeah i let my cookies match for me why am i doing the work and it and it does it incredibly the machine is gonna do it better than your brain could it.
Probably, but I just say your spontaneity of typing in my own shit and seeing what I get. I never...
What phrases interest you? Well, Desi porn. There it is.
That's one of them. Desi.
Let's get it. I just go into a deep rabbit hole.
Have you ever dated an Indian girl? No, I've never dated any girl. Only Latina, black, and white.
But obviously you sexualize them, so you don't want anything to do. Well, I just watch them all.
I don't discriminate when it comes to porn. I know, but you said you like this category.
What I'm saying is, are you attracted to Indian women in real life? No, I'm telling you, I literally go through every race. Oh, so this month is Desi month.
Yeah, I'll be like, okay, today Arab girls, let's see what we got.

You know what I'm saying?

I'll be in there.

That was beautiful.

You'd be attracted to her.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's why I'm at.

He likes them all.

And when it's Black History Month, do you only jerk off to black porn?

Do you feel it's like offensive to jerk off to other porn?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I wouldn't even Google.

I would go to Desi in honor of respect to the black history.

You know what I'm saying?

So I would jack off maybe to Desi so that I won't offend myself. You feel what I'm saying? A black history must you don't jerk off to black porn.
Well, we ain't going to say that. I'm just saying if I did, if I had that kind of conscience.
If I had a conscience like that, you know what I'm saying? What do you search then, Doc? What's your search? Because we're letting algorithm choose. Man, let me, I just told you, like I go through the different races, right? Yeah.
And then sometimes I'm like, you know what, what these grannies look like, right? What these grannies look like. Yeah, because there's some hot ones out there.
Oh, yeah. So then I might hit a little pog porn, you know what I'm saying? Pog? Yeah, you know what that is? Fat ass white girls? Yeah, you know what I mean? P-A-W-G.
Always ebony, you know, you always go that route, but that's just obvious right there. Pog is such a great term.
It's unbelievable. What a a term but my shit is simple though i don't like the like the s&m i don't like the cuck shit like the cuckold shit is weird yeah i don't like that stuff when fucking husband in the room like what is this man i don't even like gangbang porn no no i like just now you lost me no i'm taking the other car bro i gotta go too much what do you mean i love it it's a fantasy i'll never be a part.
It's a fantasy I'll never be a part of. It's a thing I'll never be a part of.
It's great. You ever notice how the cameraman always gotta be running to see the different action of different people? Yeah, he's busy.
Full-time job. Man, he's...
You like it on sticks? You like it on a tripod? It's straightforward. I like a handheld.
Let's move around. Let's see it all.
I don't like very coordinated... By the way what a hanukkah episode let's open up another gift you knew it was gonna go i know of course how could i not third candle i know that the first two haven't burned all the way this is the big the big one what is by the way what night is the night where you really get like probably the best gift i feel like seven or eight oh so coming to the end yeah so at the beginning you get like little tiny max little things then by the end you're getting like an xbox 360 shit do you remember any of any of the gifts when you were a kid at all i really i got like the gaming consoles like at the end at the end yeah but at the beginning what is it because i'm trying to i'm trying to learn it's like little it's like uh shit like this right it's like tiny little yeah like you yeah nicknack stuff like gi joe's yeah yeah yeah that's fine clear all that stuff off your desk all the packaging i'm trying to remember what is this what did he get you got some great gifts jerry's apartment in seinfeld oh my god that's amazing who makes this what company funko funko mini moments i love this this would be a great middle hanukkah gift so this is four five we're a little early yeah oh no you're getting at the right time this is this is the right yeah perfect oh that's dope as zero i got a bruce lee action figure this is awesome dude do you see this guy i got i got a bruce lee action figure from oh yeah yeah he just wants to be a part of it do you know what i mean he really He really needs to be.
It's Franco, though. I have gifts, too.
Like, he needs to be. That's tight.
That's a great gift. I guess it's stacked.
I'm only seeing. And you know, Jerry is, of course, Jewish.
Am I missing something? I'm only seeing, like, the window. Yeah, I know.
Look at the back. Yeah, it's like the little cubby is it just oh yeah this is just one

piece you could collect the whole apartment oh hey man we have a low budget until we do another season today if i'm not gonna be able to afford the whole apartment okay i'll take the window and the furnace this is this is this is but you know by the way that is a integral piece of the show this little computer

desk right there with his little

where his

coat rack was, big moments came from him turning and back to camera from there. By the way, huge moment from there was when Kramer came in, slaps the money on the table when he said, I'm out, when they had the, who couldn't jerk off.
There's some really, I mean, it is so funny to see, this show shaped so much of my comedic childhood youth jeff schaefer i know jeff schaefer one of the one of the executive producers and um co-creator co-creator uh on our show is uh one of the early one of the early writers yeah he didn't direct an episode did he of seinfeld i don't think so but he like came up with the the festivus pole festivus was him yeah festivus for the rest of us of us. That's where he met Larry and now he does Curb with Larry too.
It's nuts. My favorite episode to this day will always be Kenny Rogers Roasters where they switch apartments where Kramer becomes Seinfeld, Seinfeld becomes Kramer.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That's to me, so it was such a good acting job by Jerry for the first time because most of the time he didn't do a lot of acting on the show.
No. He played Jerry.
He was breaking the smile out. But then he literally became Kramer.
It was so good. I was like, man, I wish he did that.
Buffy. Oh my God.
The best present you ever got me was the Buffy Comforter. Dude, it's the best.
I love it. It is the best.
It's cool. So nice.
I love the fabric it comes in. It's so much softer than cotton.
It's so much more softer than cotton. And it's earth friendly, dude.
It's eucalyptus. It uses 10 times less water to grow cotton to grow then cotton.
No more night sweats, Andrew! Get cozy without overheating. That's right.
We've talked about it on this show enough. Listen up.
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When it comes to insurance, it's nice to get it right. The core cast.
Julia Dreyfuss, how do you hit that many home runs in your career? She's the best. Well, how do you go from that and then make Veep? Yeah.
It's almost impossible to make two massively banger shows. Yeah.
I mean, Seinfeld's arguably way bigger, but you know what I mean, still. Did you ever watch Veep? No, I never watched it.
She's like the daughter of a billionaire. You know that, right? I think I did know that.
Just like you. Like really? The daughter of a billionaire.
She's so funny. It's beyond.
I made her break one time. It was like the moment in my career that really making her and Larry laugh are the two biggest moments of my career.
Oh, the curve. Making him break in the room.
If that happens again, I'm getting for schnucked over here. I don't even know how the pin would work.
You just push it into your hair and clip. I just made up a Jewish word, a Yiddish word.
I getting vershnucked over here you know how easy it would be to make it's so easy to make up jewish words you want me to do it for you yeah like a real jew i know what i'm doing oh hilarious oh oh it's a snap yeah cool well you don't have sisters so you don't wear i never wear you know you know in my synagogue it in my synagogue it was like you wanna wear it and I was like no why not though I think this is great Fancy loves it covers up his vault spot I don't like wearing hats like I'm not a big hat oh you know what I had to you love it Fancy I love it it works better than keeps he doesn't need to take pills to keep his hair anymore he's just gonna wear yarmulke just become Jewish yeah that's all you need to do I problem with it. It's just, if I had the option, it's like, do you want to wear a watch today or no watch? I would not wear a watch.
You know, it's the same. Okay.
Yeah, but a watch doesn't have any religious connotation. This is pretty.
But they aren't like, put it on. If they were like, put your yarmulke on, I would do it.
They'd be like, do you want to wear one? It was very casual. It was very Jewish.
Yeah. It's very Jewish to be like, yes, no, fine.
No big deal. That's such a

sweet Jewish way.

With Catholics, it's like, hey, you're

going to get baptized and you're going to drink the blood of

Christ and eat his body.

And you have to line up and you have to feel weird

and bad about it. And then the kids were always

in line. We're always making jokes the whole time.
We're always

shitting on it. And the dad

is like, hey, cut it the fuck up.

That doesn't happen in the synagogue. No chance.
No just warm it warm smiles because there's nothing that serious there huh we have to get up and do sit fucking sing and if you don't sing singing yeah but if you don't sing your dad yeah my dad would be like hey fucking you'd be mad if we were fucking off were you going to church every week no not every we never went every week yeah it was impossible as a kid because lives happen and you know what i mean what a time suck it stinks yeah and it's it's football oh my god it always bothered me as a kid like if the bears if the bears were playing in the morning games we're fucking up we're fucking up we're missing all of it i have to go to church unless unless they go to early service. And then if we got really early, then we can knock it out and make it.
Did you go to church? Yeah. Yeah, I did.
You care to expand on it at all? There was some chocolate in these motherfuckers. Yeah, that's what it is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, damn.
You know all Jewish money has chocolate in it. Probably.
I'd kick it with y'all. y'all had chocolate.
I'd kick it with y'all if y'all had chocolate. If y'all money was chocolate, you know I'd like Jews more.
Doc, what? It's your lucky day. What did you do? Do you go to Catholic? Are you Catholic? Baptist.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know.
Come on. I should have known.
Yeah, why would you even? I should have known. Come on.
Black guy singing. You know what Chicago guy? I'm disappointed a little bit.
I went to a couple of Baptist churches. You ever been? No.
Fuck me. They sing.
Super long. The singing is, but the singing is wild.
It's great, right? People are excited. Yeah, yeah.
They're excited. No one's falling asleep there.
Yeah. Every time I went to church as a kid, we fell asleep.
Except the kids. Yeah, but I mean, even the kids can be entertained.
It's two or three hours. It's like this guy is doing like Armageddon type of preaching you're like bro the god damn game is on come on bro it's too long sometimes they did you ever get in trouble when you went to synagogue yeah did you run off and do some dumb shit yeah one time the basically i'd been going to hebrew school for like five years and then you get bar mitzvahed and then it kind of ends so there was like a last day of hebrew school and it's like the last day of school every year but like the last day of like high school it's like you know there's so many years i've gone so the last day the last day of Hebrew school, I got kicked out of class for talking too much to my friends.

But nothing bad.

No, well, then I was just so annoyed.

This is the last day I've put in so much time and energy into this Hebrew school,

which is not something I'm particularly passionate about,

but I did it with a good open mind and I feel like I got the right values

and I feel like I was a good boy. And they kicked me out just for being too loquacious on the last day.
And in a fit of rage, I kicked a window in. What, you're like glass broken? No, just the screen.
Just the screen, yeah. I kicked the screen.
That's like diet anger. I kicked the screen, and then I got the fuck And then I got the fuck out of there.
Taught them. Yeah.
Yeah. So, and I have been back, but when I go back, I feel bad about the screen.
How funny. You should bring a screen.
You should bring a screen as a gift. I feel bad.
I'm sorry for you. I shouldn't have done that, but- That's not that bad.
You're a good dude, man. Yeah.
That's not that bad. They were testing me.
You're Catholic, right? Huh? You're Catholic. Yeah.
Okay. But we're talking about this right now.
Okay, not bad. Today I'm Jewish.
Okay. I feel like sometimes I get asked if I'm Jewish because there's a lot of Hasidic Jews with red hair.
Look up redhead Hasidic Jews. There is a high population of redheaded Jews in Israel apparently, but I had no idea.
Yeah. Look at these guys.
National Redheaded Day. The history of ginger Jews.
Click on that. The history of...
Look at these guys. Look at these guys.
Gorgeous. Bro, look at the...
What are those called? What are those? Payas. Payas.
Payas. That dude's payas is fucking lit.
So that's the ones that don't like electricity or nothing like that? Is that not me? I feel like's me could be that's me for sure later wait two down is you look no one below that that guy no no to the right that is you yeah there i am oh shit god damn that's your doppel right there this must be a guy a famous guy because look at look at the first picture is him again too click on the first picture also me who is the israel activists uh glick shot you who did glick shot no shot and wounded i got clipped yeah oh hell yeah click on that let's see what happened in the wall street journal i was wounded in israel israeli activist yehuda glick bro you heard a glick shot and you heard a glick out here in these streets shot and wounded dude he got clapped. This was a long time ago.
Street careers.

You got to grow a beard like that.

That's legitimately me.

That looks exactly like me. Hell yeah, bro.

I have that same nose.

The shape of my nose is long, deep like that.

Yeah.

It's got the same kind of little hair flip.

Same hair flip.

Dude, that's me.

100%.

They asked me if I was Jewish when I was walking through the old neighborhood when my buddy

used to live off of Pico Boulevard.

Yeah. Pico and Olympic.
Yeah. No.
Yeah. Right down there.
Oh, yeah, live off of like Pico, Pico Boulevard? Yeah,

Pico and like Olympic.

Yeah.

No.

Yeah,

right down there.

Oh,

yeah,

yeah,

yeah.

Pico Beverly.

Yeah.

I mean,

you don't,

you didn't look Jewish to me

before today,

but now when I see with the yarmulke on,

like I believe that you could be.

Now I'm selling it?

Yeah.

We should,

next season on the show,

we should,

I should,

I should.

You wore one in the.

I did,

I did in the bar mitzvah episode,

but next season I should get the instinct

to just take it further.

I'd be like, look, it's something I want to do. And I get into a fight because I'm mad you're not Jewish enough.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's funny. I'm like, I start speaking Yiddish to you.
Yeah, that is funny. I'm like, don't, I'm making up Yiddish words as I go.
Don't give me up, okay? You're really getting under my shkish. All right, let's light it on the candle and open a gift,'s goddamn spanish is killing me literary yeah yeah we do oh by the way the candles is a great uh-oh what is it who is steven spielberg who is steven spielberg i'm interested oh that's a great book that's a great book i don't know i don't know much about jurassic park woody allen and woody allen okay A king of the Jewish film community yeah yeah isn't he your favorite fancy my favorite he loves Woody Allen and he hates Jews so that's a good balance Woody Allen he's been slipping up he made a couple of mistakes okay then put the Spielberg on top he doesn't slip up at all put him on top on top.
There you go. Very consistent.
This guy makes bangers. All he does is make bangers.
Yeah. Spielberg to the Jews is...
Spielberg to the Jewish film community is, you know, Scorsese to the WAPs. Yeah.
I can say that because I'm a WAP. I'm half WAP.
What do you mean? Okay, yeah. I'm half WAP half wop he is though the way that Italians treat Scorsese is the way that I feel like everybody treats Spielberg but he is a king of the Jewish community but he hasn't really made a Jewish film has he who wants to see those yeah Schindler's List Schindler's List what are you talking about that was Spielberg that was Spielberg yeah Spielberg directed Schindler's List are you joking are you serious I am serious yeah man yes that movie is so good hey man turn it in turn your Jew card in that's it turn your Jew card in don't do that don't do that oh my bad don't do that this is very reminiscent of a bad history Munich what about Munich okay so he's actually made a ton of Jewish films an American tale that definitely was not Steven Spielberg Schindler's List was awesome one of the greatest films did it win Oscars? how many I'm saying it didn't win all of them best picture I know best it.
Sorry, Steven. Yeah, really? Really? He asked you to turn in a Jew card like you guys get cards.
Jesus Christ, Doc. No, you know.
You know what I'm saying? Look at that. Oh, my God.
Schindler's List clipped all those? That's 12 Academy Awards? No, he won seven, I think. Won seven, got nominated 12 times.
Yeah. How the fuck are we not nominated for anything how the fuck are we not i'm sick of this nonsense yeah what the fuck are we talking about i don't know how if the next season we don't get nominated for anything well you know i i feel like these seasons deserve nomination it's like if they're but you can't go back no but so i've just kind of like you can't put stock in it because you know well i've said this pretty publicly I don't really like that stuff anyway and I know that's not good to say but I don't care about it but for your sake I want it for you yeah do you know what I mean I don't really doesn't do anything for me but I want it for you just because I'm like I don't get it yeah didn't give us a nod huh didn't even give us a nod what other comedy like that? Well, look, we're in a weird gap time because our show kind of came out after awards season.

We didn't, you have to-

Season two hasn't been up for Emmys yet.

No, it can't be because it's off.

It'll be up next year.

We're basically like, yeah, it could be up next year.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But it's so long gone at that point.

I don't know if that's how,

I don't really know how it works.

Well, Fancy knows.

Isn't that right, Fance?

Yep. Yeah, we're too kind of like, we're too out of the realm of like, you've got to be pretty close to, that's why a lot of those shows like to- But why? Huh? But why? I thought it was like a year, Because timing is everything in Hollywood.
So once you're not being spoken about is, the reason that a lot of films get nominated, especially in the Emmy category, not Oscars, Academy Awards is different, but Emmys is mostly because it's timing, it's buzz, it's hype, it's why Succession is on fire and everybody talks about it. It's a perfect timing.
It's like an amalgamation of timing and culture. And our show existed in the off season almost.
I don't really think there's any excuse you could make for it to not get. Yeah.
I'm on your team. I'm giving the logistics of why.
Do you watch Succession, by the way? I love it. It's funny to say that.
I love it. Because I used to be in love with it.
And now I'm waning. I'm just getting a little.
Are you caught up? I haven't seen the final episode this year. I thought the last one you've seen.
Yeah. Last episode? The last one you've seen.
The second to last one. It is the best episode of the series.
Period. I couldn't agree couldn't agree more we literally both said that yeah because the episodes ensuing prior to that were not so good like there was a lot of foot dragging and nicholas brawn huge fan yeah cousin greg fucking phenomenal succession is great it's a great show you don't watch any of that no i don't even know what that is i love that guess what succession is just guess based on what we said succession is uh it's definitely a white show no no no no no there's uh yeah there's no non-whites on that show there's literally no non-whites there's some where the uh the dad's like wife who's like gone she was like in the beginning and then she's gone.
She was killed in the beginning. She wasn't killed but they split up.
It is an incredibly white show. Well, but look at what we're talking about.
Yeah. Okay, when that happens do we need to do something? Like when the candle completely burns out.
Pray to your God, brother. You guys don't say anything when the candle's done? Do you wait for it to burn out or you just go to bed? Go to bed.
That seems like reckless. No, you probably, like, my parents probably did a little check, like, you know.
No, but I mean, there was no, like, thing to say or do. No, you go there, you light the candle, you say the prayer when you light the candle, you get the gifts, and then you go.
How long is the prayer? 30 seconds. Can we say any of it? Do you know any of it? Look it up.
Let's say that- If I saw the words, I might have my memory jogged. So fun.
You're such a bad Jew. Wait, wait, wait.
Can your next album be're such a bad jew hold on don't say it without us lighting it all right here we go all right i'm gonna light this you're gonna open up a present right ready here we go who's asher's kid that's what it is that's nice blessed blessed are you our god ruler of the universe who makes us holy through your commandments and commands us to light the Hanukkah. That's what it is.
That's nice. Blessed are you our God, ruler of the universe, who makes us holy through your commandments and commands us to light the Hanukkah lights.
That's simple. Oh, look at that.
It's an Adam Sandler towel or blanket. How fun is that? It's a Sandler blanket.
Give it to me. Let me show.
Oh, that's fire right there. This is great.
What a Jew. What a mensch is what we say yeah look at all the titles what a storied career huh i said what a storied career sandler is the fucking goat yeah there's the shit yeah i think he's such a fuck he is he is the fucking man i love him he's so he is so dope he's done the thing where it's like someone's like oh his newer movies aren't that did you want him to make teenage humor up into his 60 that's insane yeah and i think he has to his credit done a good job of like sprinkling in like the a few great movies like you know what i mean drunk love yeah but i mean spanglish yeah what about what about the new the movie that just came out what's the movie just came out? What's wrong with me? I don't know.
The Jeweler where he's the... Oh, Uncut Gems.
Uncut Gems. Incredible.
Fire. So for every grown-up...
Funny People I think is great too. Funny People was good, but I think there was more of a Judd production than anything else.
But it was still great. Yeah, but I'm saying like...
He was a great actor. He's a great...
Look at these bangers. My point is he's a really good actor.
Also, Zohan, underrated and fun. Zohan.
Funny people click. Jack and Jill.
Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore are like the two- Well, they're the two knockouts. Waterboy was great.
Yeah, Waterboy was great. Wedding Singer was phenomenal.
Phenomenal. 51st Dates is one of my favorite of all time.
51st Dates. Say that again.
Say it again. 51st Date.
Is one of your favorite of all time. Yeah, I like it.
Respect. yeah I love bulletproof yeah okay I did I loved it you like bulletproof yeah it's okay look the guy made so many bangers and I hope you do sleep with this because I think this is an awesome gift I played basketball with him one time over at Sony I mean yeah yeah I played up on.
I played up on that court. Yeah.
And I liked it. He's good.
He's competitive. I remember thinking, like, we started playing and, like, really quickly into it.
It was two on two, and he put his shoulder right into my chest, and I thought, I like this man. Yeah, he hoops.
He's not going to go soft on you. Yeah.
Especially another young Jewish man in the business. He's got a whole bureau in his office with basketball shorts.
Like, he pulls out a drawer, and it's, like, just- Yeah, because he wants to hoop at all times. Yeah, it's cool.
So do y'all have like a bluz and crips of the Jews where certain Jews don't like each other? You know, one type don't like the other type? Jews, the thing about Jews is that they really do- Don't do that to you. Let me have one moment.
Do y'all have bluz and crips of Jews? I mean, insane. Are there gang subsets of Jews? Not even gang, but just like- Those are gangs.
Bluz and crips ares and Crips are tribal type of... I would say tribal, those are gangs.
Philosophically, one of the good strengths of the Jewish community is that they really do band together and elevate each other. That's fucking dark.
Are there bloods and Crips in the Jews? The ones that don't like electricity, are they... Amish people? Yeah.
That has nothing to do with Jews. Orthodox Jews, maybe.
And I they're okay with them. Oh, you're talking about like on Shabbos and stuff like that? They're not like enemies with the ones who are less religious.
That's just like saying you have to have a family member. You have to have an auntie that's like crazy religious.
Right. She doesn't care that you're not crazy religious.
It is what just it is what it is yeah that's the same shit yeah okay hasidic jews are just much more religious than him they they practice okay he's non-practicing okay we talk about practice practice talk about practice put me in the game put me in the game not in the game yeah not in the game yeah i was watching that live when it happened that's probably one of the greatest moments in interview history yeah that or and for you you know what we're talking about don't you all right where where we're talking about you talk about practice oh i don't know yeah yeah yeah ai's ai had a great moment about for fans if i hope you've you've seen the clip but fuck me it's just he by the way you know you know what was what was so unfortunate about ai's career in this regard this was kind of a microcosm of what was going on they painted him in this light all the time right even from the high school fight tapes they wanted to picture him as this thug is what they said in the news they said it all the time thug thug thug but all he was doing was being organically himself and they took it as if it was this thug mentality but it wasn't that was the problem none of that was true he never even went to jail he didn't he didn't do anything that was the craziest part about this and so then this this is another way that the media portrayed him in this bad light where they were like oh and, and he's too good to show up for prep. That's not even remotely true.
Yeah. The whole thing was a weird lie the media perpetrated.
Yeah. It just shows why if anybody besides Trump, I've said this before, anybody besides Trump coined the phrase fake news, it would have weight in our community.
Yeah. Because the news is full of shit.
Yeah. They do these kind of things.
But Trump said it to aid his opinions. Yeah.
And it fucked up the truth. Because the truth is, yeah, news is fake.
Fake news is full of shit yeah they do these kind of things but trump said it to aid his opinions yeah and it fucked up the truth because the truth is yeah news is fake fake news is real this was fake news he didn't skip practices he wasn't this delinquent he was a great team member all they loved him yeah but this made him out to be this they wanted to paint a nemesis iverson i wonder he's got to be a hero of yours oh my god i was gonna say i wonder if i'd even be a rapper if it wasn't for alan iverson like growing up in philadelphia at the the prime of his career, I was 13 getting bar mitzvahed when they were going to the NBA finals. Insane.
Putting out albums in between seasons. How fun was that shit? So fun.
Looking back on it, it's reckless. Remember when Latrell Shreel put out Spinners? Remember when Latrell made Rims a cool thing? It was very reckless to put out albums while you're in the playoffs.
Yeah. I mean, I don't care at all, but the language he used in some of the songs is insane for like, like an NBA player.
But I guess, good for him. Well, I'll be honest with you.
I was mad when he got traded to the Pistons. I'm like, fuck, why y'all pick him up? I'm like, this guy is not, he'll fit the Pistons.
Let me see some of the lyrics. What song do you, do you remember any of the songs from his album? I know his name was Jules.
J-E-W-L.

And I remember the one.

He rapped in a really interesting way.

Like a staccato-y.

He was Jordan to you for me.

Because growing up in Chicago, it was wild to have Jordan.

Jordan was like, I didn't appreciate it until I got older.

I didn't know any better.

How could I have known?

All right, go ahead, Doc. Why don't you rap this for us? Because we know that you can do it.
Wow. I say that with so much sarcasm because there's a real rapper in the room.
But I need Doc to do this in front of Dave because I want to see how he feels about it. For the year 2G rap, game change changed the name.
Jules ain't... Man, I can't do this shit.
I ain't fucking got it. No, you ain't got it 100%.
For the year 2G, the rap game changed for one name. Jules aimed to slain anything on this plane.
Remains are found when the best kept secret got heated. You went platinum with a ghostwriter.
So in the game, you cheated. Who is he talking about? I don't know.
That's interesting. Who is he shooting at? I love when Kobe and Shaq were raping.
And when Shaq won and he was like, Kobe, how's my ass tasting? I just love Shaq rap too. You know who's a really good rapper is he's on the Hornets what the fuck is his name he's one of their currently no Jerry Moore no he's first off Damien Lillard is a great rapper is he yeah Damien Lillard he's a great rapper wow Damedala who do you think would be the worst rapper in the NBA who would be the most trash just instinct Like Ennis Cantor? You know who I want to hear Dennis Schroeder rap just because he's got that accent.
Yeah, that's what I mean. I want to hear his little German twang.
Kobe made a rap, I think. Rest in peace.
We won't say anything about it. What about Shaq? What do you feel about Shaq? Shaq was so garbage, it was unbelievable.
It was terrible. Biological dad was something else.
I thought that was... Did he? Yeah.
Shaq and Biggie had a song looked that up. Yeah.
The problem with Shaq is he sounds like he's on pills. That's because he's always so big and slow.
Yeah. Shaq and Notorious Big can't stop the...
Oh, I remember this. Can't Stop the Rain.
I remember this song. I do remember that song.

This is an obvious.

Seth's had an incredible career.

This is a bump.

He's still killing it.

Yeah.

He's probably my favorite commentator in sports history.

Those dudes are the greatest.

I love that show.

Oh, my God.

When him and Charles go at it, it's literally.

Fucking hilarious. The show should just get rid of Ernie.

No offense.

But just make them two.

You need Ernie.

Sure.

I love Kenny.

As a balance.

I love Kenny.

Just give me a show with those two guys going at. Kenny is key.
I love Kenny. They're great.
They're great. Just give me those two.
I love when Charles goes, Kenny. Like I love you.
Oh, come on, Kenny, man. You all know what you're talking about.
Yeah, I love that. You sound like me right there.
He kind of sounds like you. My Charles Barkley is Doc.
Oh, come on, Kenny. Kenny.
He does have that little southern twang. Come on, Kenny.
There's one guy who does the best Charles Bessie.

Oh, I know who you're talking about.

I've seen that guy.

It is really, really.

It's almost perfect.

Shaq is too hard because it's too deep and guttural.

Well, Shaq is like, are you pleased?

The thing that I'm seeing out there.

I'm so bad at him.

Well, you got to talk on the side of your mouth, too.

Shaq got to be a little bit on the side of your mouth.

Yeah.

The problem is because LeBron can't do it. LeBron can't do it.
Barbecue chicken. Barbecue chicken.
All right, open up another gift, Papa. Let's do it.
Ooh, this feels cloth-like. These are great gifts.
By the way, let's give a shout-out to Pete. Thank you, Pete.
Shout-out to Pete for some of the most dope gifts. What do we got? Putting that work in, getting those gifts.
Oh, let's give a shout out to Pete. Shout out to Pete for some of the most dope gifts.

What do we got?

Putting that work in, getting those gifts.

Oh, it's a shower curtain, which you must use at your new home.

We must have...

Here, let Dad open it for you.

Wait a minute.

You don't want Papa to open it?

Wait a minute, shower.

I have a really good shower curtain right now.

It's breasts.

It's just boobs?

Yeah, it's like cartoon boobs. It's cool.
Those are the rings, and let's see what the curtain is. Let me stand up and show you.
Here, let me have it so you can see it. I got a funny story with a curtain in Judaism.
I'll tell it after. What the fuck? Oh, it's Goldblum.
Goldblum and an ape. Oh, that's cool.
It's Goldblum and an ape. Yeah.
Oh, that's cool. It's fun.
That's a great shower. That is a great shower.
Oh, God. What a great reveal, fam.
Okay. Yeah, man.
That's dope. Can I tell you something? On this show, we do give gifts.
I've never gotten gifts this good. Yeah, man.
So they're obviously showing a little bit of favoritism. At my bar mitzvah, speaking of curtains.
So first, my bar mitzvah, I'd gotten first my bar mitzvah i'd gotten sick the week before and i was like emaciated like i had lost like 20 pounds flew far i don't know i just didn't but all i know is i'm doing this you know i'm on stage and you know you do the reading or whatever and like my whole family all my friends are in the audience and i had this one kind of like really like quirky aunt sandy everybody has a quirky sandy i've got two of them and the rabbi was like you know very hypothetically he was like so where is god and my aunt sandy in the middle of the service stands up and she goes he's behind the curtain in the middle of the thing i've never it was like shocking how funny if god was like i'm right here I wish I thought there was like a Wizard of Oz setup going on he is behind the curtain yeah I mean metaphorically he is behind the curtain where is Ann Sandy now dead she's behind the curtain now you hit the yeah I have to hit a left right and I shouldn't do that in front of a Jew I know that's kind of weird is this weird to do this in front of you? No, I think it's baseball. Do you feel a little tingling?

I think it's baseball.

Do you feel a little tingling right now?

No.

Is this burning?

If I keep doing this, are you going to sting a little bit?

I'm on a grass field.

You know what's so funny?

This means nothing to me because I'm not religious.

When I see people do that on the plane, every time I take off on a plane,

flying every single week to do shows, every time.

Really?

You see it?

Every time.

Without fail, I see someone go.

People, yeah. And you know what's so funny about catholics or christians or whoever that does it they do like in church or whatever you'll see people really do it you know but when it's on a plane they want to it's weird to show publicly how you feel about something but they want to get through it quickly yeah so you'll see someone to see kind of and they hide it they'll go i did it too when uh we had somebody on here doing oh he blessed himself we had we had shinlim one of the greatest magicians of all time oh wow come here live yeah and do card tricks and doc really he just had to pray to his god well he sat down we gotta get rid of them spirits that's all i'll just bring in them because you know how black people feel about magic that's why we call them little black magic but you know black people get weirded out by magicians they just don't like the way because what do you think it is you think it's voodoo you know well at first not I know what it is but at first yeah you're like man this dude is messing with the spirits he's messing with the spirits so we don't have any connection realms and shit like that I didn't see David Blaine doing card tricks you don don't like david blaine at all no remember i said that i thought blaine david blaine was black and then y'all correct we yeah you did think he's not we all see he's not i know that's what i'm saying that's what i'm talking about what is he puerto rican and italian descent is what it says there okay uh that's why he looks that's why he looks you think it'll say that i'm jewish in my early life i highly doubt it won't huh search wikipedia no dude you were already there just stay on the page and search wikipedia is i bully him through the internet all right let's read david zoom and david andrew bird known as uh little dicky's american rapper comedian actor he came to prominence release the music video about it no go down to early life yeah all right here we go born in chetlehem township, north of Philadelphia.
Grew up an upper middle class Jewish family in Elkins Park neighborhood. Yeah.
Upper middle class. Yeah.
Make no mistake about it. That's right.
Chetlehem. What a wild...
Chet... Cheltenham.
Cheltenham. Cheltenham.
I'm saying it wrong. Cheltenham.
What does that even mean, Cheltenham? Do you know what it's a reference to? How do you answer that question about any city? What does that mean? Maybe there was Dan Cheltenham that founded it. You see what happens on the show? You get gifts and you learn.
Yeah. And Little Black Magic says weird stuff like are there Crips and Bloods and Jews? Hey man.
Really sincerity. He means everything he says.
It's kind of strange. He's trying to connect with you, dog.
I love you. I love you too.
See that? You feel that shit, dog? Yeah. Fuck.
Dude, you don't want this guy in your life. I do.
No, it's insane. Yeah, he does.
He fucking loves me. He wouldn't throw that out there if he didn't feel it.
You don't really know. He's got, there's some shit.
Yeah. Yeah, we go all the way back to Egypt, right? Yeah.
No, you don't go back to Egypt at all. Man, Africa.
I'm there with you. Back there, the pharaohs.
Let's get it. Do you? Let me say this.
Even in Egypt, you guys were born in different parts. Don't matter.
Very far away. That's what it's all about.
Coexistent. You know what I'm saying? You know what? Let's start.
And I'm on the island and I'm from the island. The island? Ireland.
It's an island. And I'm on the island and that's where we're from.
And I'll stay on my island. You Egyptians can co-mingle.
I'll stay on my cold, wet, sad, pale island. You guys get sun and you ruin your buildings with sun.
I'll stay pale with potatoes. I went to Ireland.
Very desaturated. It's a lovely country, but I get why booze, I get why people drink.
it's a tough place it's seattle it was gray the difference of seattle seattle and ireland same kind of weather but they commit suicide's heavy in seattle because it's sad we just drink and laugh it away yeah two kinds of culture it's culture you guys play the long game suicide yeah we die at the very Booze lets us kill us. Yeah, we let booze do the work for us.
All right, open your almost last gift. Second to last.
What is it? Joan Rivers' adult coloring book. Joan Rivers' adult coloring book.
Another famous Jewish hero. Rest in peace.
Rest in peace to Joan Rivers. She was the best.
Beautiful art. Oh, red carpet.
Do me a favor. Promise me you will color one of those.
If you haven't caught her on Louis, catch her. What are you saying over there? I don't have any.
Sometimes he just mumbles shit. He doesn't say anything.
What are you saying? The episode of Louis she was on that day. Me and Louis C.is ck had a personal moment i talked to him about it

i told him that was my favorite episode with him and john rivers so what did louis say to you he said it was his favorite too huh yeah so you said hey so let's do the conversation i'm louis red hair yeah thank you get it yeah thank you okay now so i'm jerking off So you're right.

That was fucking let me get this good time alright so go ahead make me goddamn lose my yarmulke that's pretty goddamn good fuck bro alright so look I'm Louie I'm like hey we're at the comedy store obviously yeah I'm comedy store and he was leaving and I said hey man I said hey Lou I've been watching your show and I said let me tell you something Yeah, Lou. That's sweet.
Because, you comedy store he was leaving and i said hey you gotta get my car i said uh hey lou i said i've been watching your show and i said call him blue yeah that's sweet because you know he was like dude only black guys are allowed to give nicknames to people and they have to accept it yeah he calls me tino tino and i love it yeah i love it well people said it as a kid i'm your dog yeah my dog my family oh i thought you meant i'm your dog like a dog i think you don't have a dog no like dog my homie yeah yeah when i was a kid tino sometimes mostly santino but go ahead so lou i was like what's up lou lou i was like yo i love your show man i said i'm never i just wanted to tear i just wanted to tell you that episode with john rivers that i said man that was my favorite episode he said oh he said that's episode too. I said, because what she said in there was just beautiful, man.
It was like, fucking don't remember. But I'm going to tell you what, bro.
That was fucking, it was good. It was good? Yeah.
Did he say anything else to you? He said, he gave me a tip and then he left. Great tipper.
What'd he tip you, 100? 100 and, actually 200. Huh.
200 bucks to park in a lot. See, now I'm not a lot probably.
You're like, he never tipped me. Let's worry about it.
Me and Lou, we got a special relationship. So don't get mad.
Imagine he'll never, ever remember this. You know what's funny? I want to ask him one day.
You know how I got passed at the improv? Because I followed Lou. Wait, what? So Ian Edwards had his show there.
Louie C.K. dropped in, right? Right.
And then Louie bumped me. And I was in the back panicking.
And then Ian was like, no, no, no, don't worry. You'll be able to follow him.
I said, man, because he was killing it. I said, fuck.
Louis C.K. was killing it? Yeah, he was killing it.
Then I was in the back. I think he was surprised.
He was like, man, what a great community. He was just ripping this motherfucker.
I was sweating like I was in juvenile court, right? So then the motherfucker was like. So Ian said that.
Then I just went up, did my thing. And then after that, that's when Jamie, because remember Jamie Flynn? Yeah, I remember.
He got the Dynasty top right. He came to me.
He said, from now on, you're going to be in here and we're not going to be able to give you a lot of spots. But know that we think you're funny like that.
That's great. And that's because you followed up him well.
Yep, because I went behind him well. Yeah, that's how I got past the Dumpro.
I love going to those places with you. I know.
I love when you come. It's my heaven on earth when I'm there with you.
Oh, yeah. It's a great club.
I get all the VIP behind the scenes. You do.
You get treated like a king. It's great.
And everybody wants to come say hi to you. Because you're as much a part of the comedy world as you are the rap world.
So for us, I think for comedy fans- Yeah, there's an overlap.'s one of it's kind of becomes one of well with you it's one of the same i love watching you up there you like me doing my little thing you're so great oh come on sweetie make me great this this motherfucker did a great job we went down to san diego balboa theater 1400 seats what was it yeah 1400 seats and uh i said it's doc he's nervous we were in the green room he was nervous you were nervous yeah i'm not shitting on you nervous every show and and i like it i wasn't i was giving i could tell i could feel he was a little nervous i said just do your thing do 10 12 minutes just do your thing he gets out there this motherfucker i mean it's like somebody inflated the confidence because he gets out he's like what's up sandy i mean just blew up I needed 20 something, 20 fucking minutes. I said, I first came out, I go, it's like somebody inflated the confidence.
He's like, what's up, Sandy? I mean, he just blew up. And he did 20-something, 20 fucking minutes.
I said, I first came out, I go, I forgot Doc was black. I told him to do 10 minutes.
I knew he was going to fuck up. 10 minutes is 30 minutes.
He's like, oh, I don't know what the clock is. The clock was right in, you know, on stage.
It's right at your feet. They had it on the fucking speaker.
A regular wall analog clock on the speaker. I was looking in the back for a digital clock.
It was weird to have an analog clock. Yeah, I'm for the light and i just kept going like fancy i'm having a good time he goes tino i can't perform with no analog clock you know who the fuck i am yeah you know what i'm saying it was fun are you going to do any comedy in la soon not to make plans in the middle of the podcast but no no but but honestly uh i want to come well yeah we will i'll get you before i go and then uh and then i'm doing like new year's eve and phoenix and then i have a couple of runs and i end in vegas you should come to vegas in march march march yeah all right because i'm doing like three months at the beginning of the year and then i think we'll probably film in the summer something like that so i'm just gapping out the beginning of the year yeah and then doing that until till we go again kiddo till we do our thing all right let me see your last gift right here i'm excited you know it's the bottom of the pot is there it's the heaviest is there a name for the no the it's not there's no like uh this is the abby singer or whatever but we should call it let's name it something now what's it called the what's the what's the last shot? Martini.
Martini, yeah. Okay, last gift on Hanukkah.
It's got a sound Yiddish, so it's got to be called Nacht would be... German.
Well, no, Nacht is Latin. Say it German.
It feels German. Nacht.
Nacht. Yeah, like...
Nacht, a gift. Like Crystal Nacht.
Have you heard of Crystal Nacht? Yeahallnacht. No, it's the night of the broken glass.
Yeah, Kristallnacht. That's where like in Germany, they looted all the Jewish stores.
Right. Oh, what a night.
How fun would that have been? Yeah, if you're on the right side of history. So wait a minute.
Let's name it before you open it. Don't do that.
Let's name it. Eight is...
Ochoel. Ochoel.
Yeah, like Ochoel. But that sounds Spanish.
But it's... Yeah.
Ochoola. Ochoola.

Yeah, like Ocho. But that sounds Spanish.

But it's, yeah.

Ochoola.

It's got to sound Yiddish.

Ot.

Ot.

Ot.

Here is the grand ot.

The grand ot.

Ah, the grand ot.

Yeah, yeah.

That was perfect.

Ooh, a little frame.

I don't know what the picture is yet.

Ooh.

Uh-oh.

I haven't seen it yet. I haven't seen it.
Oh, shit. Classic.
Dude, that is awesome. Oh, shit.
Pete, that is fucking awesome. Oh, shit.
Do you know who that is? No. You don't know who that is? Are you fucking...
Is this Stooge? Oh, yeah. No, you don't know who that is? No.
Mm-mm. Oh, no.
The telethons. It seems like it's old.
Kids. Looks old.
He had kids. The kids.
He had a group of handicapped or disadvantaged kids. He had a huge charity for them.
Oh, Roy Rogers. No.
Oh, fuck. Give me this so the fans can see.
I have no idea who it is. You don't know who this is?

No.

Fuck.

Oh, bro.

I'll give you a hint.

What's a good hint?

What's a good hint so we don't give it away?

I got a feeling you're going to tell me his name

and I'm still not going to know who it is.

Yeah, you're going to know.

This would be impossible for you not to know.

Little Black Magic knows.

You think no question I've heard of this guy's name.

Dean Martin.

Undoubtedly.

Dean Martin I've heard of.

He was one of his best friends.

Come on, guys.

Bombs away from a chandelier throwing bullos at motherfuckers.

He did comedy and music together.

They did shows forever.

TV.

What's a good...

What's a good...

Dancing.

Hint without giving it away, fans.

The original Nutty Professor. Yeah, well, the original Nutty Professor, that's probably one of the best.
You love Nutty Professor, Eddie's version, don't you? Yeah, yeah. This is the original.
Eddie did a great job. Should we give him the initials? Do you want to hear, yeah, start with the initials.
J. Yeah, last initial.
L. JL, John Lennon.
Jackie. JL.

It's not John Lovitz.

Let me give you the first,

to figure out the first,

to figure out the first name would be lead singer of the Grateful Dead.

Jerry.

Jerry.

JL.

Jerry Lewis?

Jerry Lewis?

Yes.

Jerry Lewis. Jerry Lewis.
I have name recognition. You do know who that is.
I have name recognition with Jerry Lewis. j l jerry lewis jerry lewis yes jerry lewis

jerry lewis

i have name

you do know who that is

name recognition with jerry lewis

that's how i was able to guess jerry lewis

but i have no clue what he

you know or you don't know his legacy

no pull up a little

i mean

yeah we can know

we can pull up something about jerry lewis

funniest dudes out there in the streets

i don't like much before

more physical

he was more of like a physical actor

okay

so he was uh

the jim carrey of his side

yes

yes he was the jim carrey of

fantasy is good

I'm not going to do it. much before more physical he was more of like a physical actor okay so he was uh the jim carrey of his time yes yes he was the jim carrey of fancy is good like tom brady that knowledge so he was so physically wacky and goofy he was look look at that the picture of the guardian yeah exactly that that right uh he was so wacky and but also so smart and funny it was shockingly good I mean he was so wacky and, but also so smart and funny.
It was shockingly good. I mean, he was, I'll watch some clips today.
I'll go home and honor him. He was a caricature man.
He was unbelievable. And there's probably a lot of young fans that don't know who that is.
I'm trying to think of the movie that he was in when he was throwing the bulbs. Do you remember that? What? When he was in what? When he was on top of the chandelier and he was throwing the bulbs and hitting everybody.
Oh yeah. One of the funniest fucking.
Why can't think of that it's called uh god damn it i don't know man he was just so good at transforming into these these wild characters at the end of his life he kind of became the an angry curmudgeon was kind of that happens to every joke i know but this guy his got pretty bad his was kind of like look i understand that when comics get to the end their life they kind of turn that's why they say like uh chevy chase is kind of a little moody and curmudgeony and it's like i think at the very i wonder if larry david is going to go the other way to get nicer and nicer yeah get sweeter and sweeter and sweeter because you know you come to the end yeah because he's always been how do you think you're gonna you're gonna do i'm a grump now yeah so i'm thinking i'll probably get because I'll get more perspective. I've gotten more loving and open hearted as time has gone on with stuff.
Just because you get older and you start to smell. The roses.
You start to smell. Well, yeah.
Well, you also smell that like. You smell the roses.
I smell the roses. I start to smell what's coming is what I mean.
I know that it's like the end isn't super far away you're getting older

I've got a lot of life to live

yeah

you're like a young man

but you know what I mean

is like you start to realize

that like things don't matter as much

yeah

there's not enough time

to complain about

it's like who gives a fuck

about a lot of the stuff

you can't control

yeah

my roof leaked this morning

so what

well that could be a thing

huge deal

huge deal

yeah huge deal

it was a nightmare

yeah

but it's like

after complaining and bitching

and like

doing what I could

I was like

living it up

Thank you. No, he wants me to live it up.
He lives it up. He lives a fucking happy life.
You feel content in life, don't you? Yeah. Yeah.
If I left right now, I'm good. Wow.
Isn't that insane? That's beautiful. His disposition is, how old do you think Doc is? I'm going to guess like 38.
How old are you, Doc? 48. Oh, wow.
Just turned 48. Wow.
Oh, my God. Yeah.
There should be a new phrase. That black don't crack thing is not a good phrase.
It's got to be something better than that. It's not don't crack, because you do have some age lines, without a doubt.
Yeah, you're cracking. You're not that gray.
No, he's kept all of his hair really nice. You don't dye it either, do you? No.
Yeah. it looks like it's about to turn gray but it just like doesn't seem to turn gray doesn't doesn't feel like it hold on yeah you got any gray do redheads go gray we just kind of go bald you just like it falls out it goes a little bit lighter and then just gets out of there i have i there's one gray strand down here i'm starting to get gray are you afraid to go Are you afraid to go gray? Uh, it just, it's a, it's, it's a sad sign, I guess.
But like, I think cosmetically it might make me look better. If you go gray? Just like salt and pepper, I think is a good look on a minute.
Salt and pep does look good. But, but salt and pepper and curls.
I've never seen salt and peppy curls. All right.
Well, let's, let's say happy Hanukkah. Guys, what a dream.
If you, here's what I'm trying to say. I'm not about these guys.
It doesn't apply to them. They don't have to get behind this.
But if you're a young Jewish kid and all the kids in your neighborhood have Christmas trees and you feel alone this end of the year, just know that we're with you. We're rooting for Hanukkah.
If you are able to break into a friend's house, steal their tree and light it on fire, I'm pro that. I'm big on that.
You know what the Jews do on Christmas? What? You go to the movies. Yeah, go to the movies.
Every year I would go to the movies, buy one ticket to a movie, stay behind the ticketing thing, walk into a second movie, see that movie for free. Hard.
And then I would go get Chinese food. And go get Chinese food.
That's your tradition. Yeah.
I think some kids should do that at home. If you do that, guys, send it in to us.
Let us know that you guys are going to get Chinese food. And see two movies but pay for one.
Or see three. Yeah, you could see three.
I've seen three. I have seen three.
You have? I have seen three. I've done two.
We've done that where I snuck in and went to the other. I've never done three.
It's great. It's great.
All the best movies come out. I don't know how people can do it.
Christmas, yeah? Yeah. What do you think your limit would be? Four? Three, I think is enough.
Three's a lot. That's like six, seven hours.
Yeah. God damn.
Depends on what movies you're watching. To me, I could sit...
If a movie is good, the longer the better. A three-hour great movie is better than an hour and a half great movie for me.
What's the binge of hours have you ever watched movies back to back or at home? I've spent... There one week where we got uh shut down for covid yeah on the show and i just spent a week like watching european films and i i would watch i would watch like five movies a day wow can you name some of the films because i know fancy knows almost all of them um my favorite one was the prophet you know the prophet fans yeah awesome movie yeah awesome movie this guy is a movie database

I watched a lot of

I watched like

French

Thomas Vinterberg's movies

like Another Round

do you know Thomas Vinterberg?

that's a good movie Another Round

these are the film dorks

they know all that stuff

the Dardenne brothers

the Dardenne

naturalistic movies

you really like that stuff

I love that shit

now what do you have to buy it right

you can't read it

no oh yeah

Netflix right

no

it depends

Thank you. I appreciate you so much.
I love you so much. I'm so happy that you're healthy and happy.
Honestly, I feel like myself for the first time in a while today. Do you really? Yeah.
Isn't this awesome? It is awesome. Ah, fuck.
That makes me feel good. Yeah.
Happy Hanukkah to all our Jewish brothers and sisters out there, to all our Christian brothers and sisters. Go fuck yourself.
Easy. No, he said it.
It's a joke. Okay.
Just relax, doc. Jesus.
I shouldn't say Jesus. And don't forget, Jesus was a Jew.
Jesus was a Jew. Yeah.
You're not a Jew for Jesus. No.
That was a great episode of Curb, by the way. The Jews for Jesus.
What do you feel about the Jews for Jesus? To each his or her own. No, you don't feel that way.
You really have an opinion. Honestly, anyone who believes anything really passionately, I'm kind of like, how could you? That deeply? Yeah, like, how could, all this stuff is stuff is so like i'm not saying that one thing's not true or another but anyone that could like really passionately totally believe that something is a truth it's like but there's no proof of anything so how it just feels you believe it yeah i just i believe in ignorance that no one knows anything i like that yeah i don't know anything that's all i'm passionate about no one has any idea what's going on.
And anyone that claims to know exactly what's going on,

it kind of is a little off-putting.

Sketches me out.

But I understand why one would believe something for their own happiness.

Sure, believe whatever you want to believe.

Yeah, I get that.

I'm not saying don't believe,

but I don't like being pushed beliefs.

Yeah, no, me neither.

Yeah.

And like we're about to right now.

Happy Hanukkah.

Happy Hanukkah, everybody.

Thank you for being a bad friend.

And I want, actually,

why don't you take us out and say,

happy Hanukkah, thanks for being a bad friend into your camera want, actually, why don't you take us out and say happy Hanukkah.

Thanks for being a bad friend into your camera.

Go ahead.

Everybody, happy Hanukkah.

Thank you for being a bad friend.

See you next year.

Eight nights.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Woo-hoo Yeah Woo-hoo

Yeah

Woo-hoo

Yeah