The Ghost of Beaver Lane

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Speaker 1 You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 We're bad friends. I don't want to talk about it, but I want to say that

Speaker 1 your fear is

Speaker 1 obvious, and I... What is my fear?

Speaker 1 I don't know. What's my fear? You don't have it.

Speaker 1 What's my fear that you go up there with no material and then you just show your penis and then that's the show? That's not my fear. You think that's what I'm going to do up there? That's a reality.

Speaker 1 You think that's what I'm going to do up there? Show my penis and say, Bet me $1,000, you won't show a part of your body on stage. If you told me not to.

Speaker 1 Bet me $1,000, you won't show a part of your body. I'll bet you $1,000, and I'm going to say this too, okay? And you have to do only material for a half an hour straight.
No, I'm doing a guest spot.

Speaker 1 I'm not doing a fucking feature spot. You're doing a half an hour, Bub.
I'm not going to be there Saturday then.

Speaker 1 You dictate. I dictate the rules.
I dictate the rules. I'm a baby.
You are. I'm the baby.

Speaker 1 I dictate the rules. I say what I want to do.
Yeah. Yeah? Hi, Jules.
Hi. I'm so happy that you're here.
I thought you weren't going to. All right.
Yeah, she's in a...

Speaker 1 Why are you in a bad mood? Because she's beach girl. Yeah, she goes to the beach in the mornings, and then she comes home all grumpy and like, I went to the beach, leave me alone.
I'm beach girl.

Speaker 1 What's your deal? Nothing.

Speaker 1 No, she's

Speaker 1 dude. Your whole fucking life is tiring.

Speaker 1 What do you do? You don't do anything. How can you be tired?

Speaker 2 We just went diving.

Speaker 1 That's it.

Speaker 2 I was tired from it.

Speaker 1 Glad you're here. No.

Speaker 1 I was just about to say so nice to see you.

Speaker 1 I have to live with this. I know.
It's a fucking nightmare.

Speaker 1 Move in with me. I know.
It's like. Me and you should just live,

Speaker 1 get a house together. Bro, we would, bro, if you and I lived together, how fun would that be? It'd be fun for the first 48 hours.
We'd be dead after that. 100%.
Yeah. But who cares?

Speaker 1 So for 48 hours, it'd be fun. The first 24, civil.

Speaker 1 The last 24,

Speaker 1 insane. That would be our 48 hours of the film.
I would stick dynamites in your butthole.

Speaker 1 Am I Nick Nulty in this scenario? In what movie? In 48 hours. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Isn't it Nick Nulty? Nick Nulty. It is Nick Nulty.
Who else is in 48? Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Am I Nick?

Speaker 1 I'm Eddie Murphy. You gotta be.
Thank you. Do your best Eddie impression right now.

Speaker 1 Perfect.

Speaker 1 That was my Eddie Murphy laugh. I was like, what did you do to get it?

Speaker 1 I don't even know. What? Give me Eddie Murphy's laugh.
I want to see if I can do it.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's it. Yeah, mine was fucked.
Do your Eddie Murphy laugh.

Speaker 1 Pretty good. Pretty good.
Pretty good, actually, not going to lie. It's either something like Eddie Murphy or she was being choked

Speaker 1 a pygmy. By the way, you've never seen this movie, have you? 48 Hours? No, there's no way.
It's a great fucking movie. Great movie.
Yeah. Look at how young Eddie looks right there.

Speaker 1 And Nick Nulty is the same age and he looks 100. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Really, they're not that far in age. I don't think when he did that movie, he was.
When he talks, I hear a thousand people. Who? Nick Nulty.
Nick Nulty.

Speaker 1 There's like a thousand voices coming out of one voice.

Speaker 1 It's one of those voices where you record and you play it backwards. There's other messages.
And you hear ghosts in the background. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That thing.

Speaker 1 And then they do it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was a good movie. Hey, what did you do for Turkey Day? Hey, man, what's up? Good to see you.
What did you do for Thanksgiving? I love it. Did you get my invite?

Speaker 1 I invited you guys to come to my Thanksgiving. In Chicago? Yeah.
Yeah, I got it. You didn't want to come? Was I there?

Speaker 3 Nope. There you go.

Speaker 1 All right. But I looked at your cute family on the Zoom.
Oh, I know. We called you on the Zoom.
We were wasting time. Your mom

Speaker 1 is attractive. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And yeah, she's a babe. She really is.
I know. And look at me.
For a split second, I'll be honest with you.

Speaker 1 And don't get angry. I'm about to.

Speaker 1 I can feel it. But I just want to be honest with you because you're my friend.
I want you to be honest with me.

Speaker 1 For a split second, I'll give you penetration eyes. Oh, you tried? No, just penetration eyes.
Do it.

Speaker 1 Do it to the camera so they can see.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 wow, dude. And she was like, I saw goosebumps on her face.
Oh, she choked on water. Yeah, yeah.
And for some reason, she was. I saw goosebumps on her face, and then she, I think, did a mini climax.

Speaker 1 What, really? Yeah. I was right there.
You the zoom, I know. Wow.
Yeah. You did it.
But she's pretty hot. She's a babe.
I got a babe for a moment. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was nice to go. She was cute.
That's enough.

Speaker 1 Why? We're an attractive family.

Speaker 1 And why can't, as an American citizen,

Speaker 1 you're not an American citizen. I am.
Let me show me your picture. I have a card.
Show me your picture. I don't know where it is.
I have a file cabinet system. I'll find it.
But my point is that

Speaker 1 I just want to say that your family.

Speaker 1 when I saw them, don't ever zoom again because I nutted so fast. First of all, we didn't zoom.
We face time. Oh, it was a VET.
Oh, nice time. You got me on the Zoom.
Roku family.

Speaker 1 And it was so nice that you entered. Everyone was excited to see you.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Actually, no.

Speaker 1 You said something. You go, Mom, say something to Bob.
I said, say hi to Bob. And I go, ha.
And then you hung up. I did.

Speaker 1 At the end. That's a funny trick.
It was a good bit. It's a good bit.
It worked because you thought I might have called back.

Speaker 1 Because when you do do that bit, right, you hang up, and I do that moment where I go, ooh. Yeah, you sit and sit.

Speaker 1 You know who I didn't call?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you don't have her number. Yeah, I do.
Oh, you do? Yeah, but we don't. But I text her, and the text are very bland.

Speaker 1 Are you okay? Are you guys coming tonight? I also proposed to her, I go, is Magic Mountain open? And she's like, I don't know. And I go, because she's afraid to ride.

Speaker 1 I think we should do a Bad Friends Magic Mountain trip. I would love to, but isn't it closed during this winter? Or no? Is it closed? Look it up.
Is Magic Mountain still open?

Speaker 1 You don't want to do it? I just hate it. But we'll go as a family.
Will that feel better?

Speaker 2 Can I just do one ride?

Speaker 1 No, you can't go all the way there and buy a ticket for one day. You can't go all the way there 20 minutes and

Speaker 1 20 minutes away.

Speaker 1 12 minutes up the freeway.

Speaker 1 It's open 365 days a year, according to LA Times. Wow.
Wow. Let's go.
Let's go. Come on, we'll take a little family trip.
It'll be like an end-of-the-year celebration.

Speaker 1 But the big, but the thing we have to do is we have to eat as much as we can before we go to see who throws up on the ride first. Yeah.
That's so fun. Yeah.
Will you do that? I'll vomit.

Speaker 1 That's the point. I almost went to the hospital because there's a

Speaker 1 next to the Magic Mountain, there's a water-salide place. Oh, yeah, that's Raging Water.
Raging Water is attached to it.

Speaker 1 And there's a river,

Speaker 1 right? A lazy river. There's a lazy river that surrounds the whole fucking thing, right? And it's a bunch of kids.
Yeah. Just shitting themselves.

Speaker 1 And I remember being on a little gafloaty, right?

Speaker 1 And just so thirsty, just drinking the water. No.
Oh, yeah, yeah. No.
Yeah. And the next thing I know, it's like I was in a back of a fucking my buddy's minivan, and I'm going through shake.

Speaker 1 I'm shitting myself. It was fucking, I almost died.
You had dysentery is probably what it was. Is that what it is? Insides were eating and shit.
Yeah, you had probably died.

Speaker 1 But we got to do that when we go there. Okay.
That's what my point is. Because there's a danger there because we could die.
Yeah, an element of danger is what we need.

Speaker 1 And also, I think on one of the rides, you don't pull the thing all the way down, so you might slip out. That makes it fun.
That makes it fun. Everyone Everyone should do that at least once.

Speaker 1 Don't, you know what? Because you know, when it goes over the heads, it's click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, don't do the last click. Don't do the last click.

Speaker 1 Because the last click holds you in, right? You got to leave some space. Yeah, just a little bit, just in case.
So you do one of these.

Speaker 1 It's fun to slide almost out. And when you're backwards, dude, it's like you don't want the fucking thing to be holding you in.
Nope. You want your own strength to be holding you in.

Speaker 1 Yeah, to see if you can really get it. Use your own muscles, right? And if you slip, you happen to die.
You happen to die. And you make the paper.
Don't you want to be in? You want to be in the paper?

Speaker 1 No. Because you're not athletic.
You're not going to be able to get like a gold medal on something and be in the paper.

Speaker 2 If I die, I'll just haunt you both.

Speaker 1 She said that too. You said that in the car as well.
You said you would haunt us when you die? Yeah. And

Speaker 1 I go, what are you going to do? She goes, I'm going to kill you. And

Speaker 1 I go, name me one person in your personal life, right? I asked her two questions. Name me one person in your personal life that you know that was killed by a ghost.
I can't.

Speaker 1 The second question is, name me anybody from the history of this planet that was. That's ever been killed by a ghost.

Speaker 2 I'll be the first.

Speaker 1 Oh, she wants to be the first. She wants to be the first.
How can you kill us from the beyond? Do you have a strategy? Have you thought about that? You have a weak spirit.

Speaker 1 Do you know that? Think of how much rest your spirit's going to need to kill us. You're going to be sleeping in the afterlife.
Yeah. Hammersmith ghost murder case.
Oh, shit, it is real. Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 I didn't know it was real. Wait, go back to the other page.
How funny is this? The other headline, right? But look, my husband died, and now his ghost wants anal.

Speaker 1 That I believe. I agree.
That I believe. Yeah, yeah.
If you show stuff in our butts, then I think that'd be funny. Don't kill us, but if we wake up with hot dog in our butt.

Speaker 1 Because I believe when you're in heaven, Christian rules still apply. You got to be good up there.
Don't you think Christians? I bet. If Christian's rules apply here on earth, in heaven it does.

Speaker 1 Of course. So we can't just free nilly, you know what I mean, be flying around as an angel with my dick hanging out.
I mean, you, of all angels, could get away with that. It would get a laugh.

Speaker 1 It would get a lot of laughs. Flying by people's clouds.
I'm thinking about the guy playing the harp, just like, right. You fly by with your penis out.

Speaker 1 I know, but then the next thing you know, I'm on the side now to him. I'm doing a little like gyration.
Oh, and your penis is playing the harp. They don't like it.
Yeah, they don't like it.

Speaker 1 They'll bail. Yeah, they don't like it.
But I mean, look, go to the Hammersmith case. I want to see that.
That looked real. Was that so?

Speaker 1 No, look, it's a ghost murder case. Oh, this one.
1804. Oh, shit.
Set a legal precedent in the UK regarding self-defense.

Speaker 1 If someone that could be held liable for their actions, even if they were the consequence of mistaken belief.

Speaker 1 uh okay ghost from november a number of people in the hammersmith area claimed to have seen and attacked by a ghost

Speaker 1 local people said the ghost of a man who committed suicide the previous year and had been buried at the hammersmith churchyard oh this is nothing this is real it's real on december 29th william girdler girdler a night watchman saw the ghost while near beaver lane of all places and gave it a chase

Speaker 1 he was chasing beaver in the middle of the day i love beaver lane everyone's chasing beaver in the middle of the day you've been to beaver lane right? A bunch of times.

Speaker 1 Dude, me and my friends in high school, we used to go to... It was in England.
Yeah, Beaver Lane in England. In England, we would travel to England to Beaver Lane, right?

Speaker 1 And it has to be at a certain hour at the night. I would bring my utensils.

Speaker 1 Your fork and a knife. Fork and knife.

Speaker 1 And when I'm eating beaver. When I'm eating beaver, I do have to have a fork and a knife.
Do you have a napkin?

Speaker 1 I put a napkin? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I do all the utensils in the right area. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 You know how there's two knives, one's for salad? Two forks, you mean? Two forks, I mean. A salad, fork, a right.
I do the whole thing. Do you have a soup spoon, too? Yeah, of course, of course.

Speaker 1 You have all the cookies. There's liquid.
I understand. The beaver.
Well, how do you like your beaver cooked? What? How do you like your beaver? Raw! Yeah, raw. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No cook.

Speaker 1 I'm medium well. Oh, you like the edges a little dark? Crispy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little crispy.
Yeah. Well, look at he gave you a bit of a piece of cookies.
Well, the crispiness could be the discharge. Who knows? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because when discharge dries, I don't know how they cook the beaver.

Speaker 1 I don't know how they cook the beaver. I tell you how they cook the beaver.
You've been cooking beaver? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You get a butt beaver, right? Yeah. That's a little dischargey.
Yeah. Right?

Speaker 1 We did such a good metaphor for a second. I went right into it.
I know. You fry a beaver, though.
What do you do? Do you do pan-fry it or deep-fry it?

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Right? You don't want to put too much grease.
Too much oil is bad. No, because the vague

Speaker 1 beef. That's right.
The beef, right? Has moisture in it already. Of course it does.
So you use its natural moisture as the fucking sizzling

Speaker 1 as the frying element. Oh.
There's fat in there. Imagine you're cooking up some beaver and you get a pop right in your eyes.
A little pop. Terrible.
It's a sizzling queef.

Speaker 1 That's what they call them. Sizzling queefs? The sizzling queefs.
Yeah, because the air bubble in the fat fry.

Speaker 1 When it's fried.

Speaker 1 Fries it right in your face. Oh, yeah.
You got yourself a sizzling queef there, babe. Hey, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Look, this guy,

Speaker 1 he chased it. What the fuck are we talking about? London didn't have an organized police at the table.
Are you going back to this? So, Gilder,

Speaker 1 I want to find out the death. Who gives a shit about this? Because Thomas Millwood died.
All right.

Speaker 1 You're going to love the second part.

Speaker 1 At the corner of Beaver Lane, at the corner of Beaver Lane, while making rounds around 10:30 on January 3rd, 1804, Gilder met one of the armed citizens patrolling the area. They had a shotgun.

Speaker 1 And guess what? What? After hearing this, him and the neighbor, John Locke, on the corner,

Speaker 1 he was agitated. He ended up being dead.
He found himself foaming at the mouth, filled with beaver juice on Beaver Lane. It says Beaver Juice on there? Beaver juice.

Speaker 1 Go down. He can't read it.
That's why I have to make up that stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay. Look, he died.
This guy died at the hands of a gunshot from a ghost on Beaver Lane. So a gun?

Speaker 1 A ghost killed him with his own gun. He picked up a fucking real gun.
Examined it. Pronounced to be dead.
The gunshot wound on the left side of his lower jaw with a small shot, about

Speaker 1 a size number four, of which had had penetrated the vertebrae of the neck and injured the spinal marrow. He got shot by a ghost with his own gun.
That's crazy. On Beaver Lane.
It's insane.

Speaker 1 You don't buy this? Do you believe this?

Speaker 1 Yeah. She does.
You buy it. Of course.
Because this shit happens in the Cebu all the time, probably.

Speaker 2 Maybe. So if the ghost can hold a gun, I can hold a knife.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that is very true. That's a nice point.

Speaker 1 That's an interesting thing. And I'm really a little nervous.
See, now we're getting to a point where I believe you now. I know.
If you can hold a gun, you can hold a knife.

Speaker 1 But it depends on how strong the ghost was when it was alive. When the human, you know, you might have to have extra, extra strength to be able to hold something heavy in the afterlife.

Speaker 2 Maybe it's based on hatred.

Speaker 1 It's based on hatred. That is very true.
What level of hatred do you have for us? If I die? Yeah. Yeah.
100.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Because theoretically, if you can hold a gun as a ghost, you can hold a knife as a ghost. You can also then hold your own penis then.

Speaker 1 Do you have penises when you're a ghost? Do you ghosts have penises? I do. You have a ghost penis? I'm going to ask for it.

Speaker 1 Do you think think in if the normal life you don't get a big penis in the afterlife you do get one and vice versa i hope there's a store the comedy store no like there's like penis store in heaven oh a penis shop where i wanted to like re-buy i wanted to like re you know what i mean what i didn't get in the first the first pass they're like bobby on earth we didn't bless you but up here you're getting blessed oh i'll get i'm gonna if i had was there a store i'll have channing tatum's um torso please oh you get to pick all of your parts

Speaker 1 you get to pick your parts i'll have fucking gwyneth paltrow's eyes oh Right. Tatum's body, Peltrow's eyes.
Yeah. Harry Styles' lips.
Beautiful. You would like that, right? Beautiful lips.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I would have the penis, Idris Alba. But we don't know what it looks like, bud.
I don't care. Okay.
Because I'll just tell people it's his dick. It's Idris Elba's dick.
Yeah. Right.

Speaker 1 No matter what it looks like, it's a celebrity. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 He's a good actor. You know what I mean? Who's butt who's butt? Oh, but J-Lo.
J-Lo's butt. Yeah.
But Bud Hole's different. Who's Bud Hole?

Speaker 1 Justin Martindale.

Speaker 1 I like it loose. Loose goose.

Speaker 1 Loose scoop. I like my butthole loose.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You can do Digiridoo in my butthole. Wow.

Speaker 1 Okay, you pick your body parts in the afterlife.

Speaker 1 What are you doing? You walk into the store. Somebody says, okay, welcome to the Afterlife store.
Pick your parts.

Speaker 2 I want to be Kendall Jenner.

Speaker 1 All her parts? You just want to be her? We went down the list.

Speaker 2 Maybe with a bigger butt.

Speaker 1 You just want to be Kendall Jenner in the afterlife. Yeah.
With a big butt.

Speaker 1 Why don't you go to the animal department? That's what I'd do. I would go to the human.
Everything Kendall, right, Kendall Jenner, you said? Yeah. Right?

Speaker 1 Then go to the animal department and give me the rhino butt. Rhino butt.
Yeah. You have a big gray ass.

Speaker 1 I want Kim Kardashian's butt.

Speaker 1 I want that black guy that sent around that meme, that black guy with the long penis. You know that meme that always gets sent around? Oh, with the big, the big penis? The big guy.
Oh, that guy?

Speaker 1 That That guy that died?

Speaker 1 You want his? I want his penis. I want Kim Kardashian's butt.

Speaker 1 I want

Speaker 1 whose face do I want? Imagine. Whose eyes do I want?

Speaker 1 You know who I want? Alexandra Didario's eyes. Have you seen her eyes? Yeah.
But like pure blue. Pretty good.
And then whose hair do I want? Whose long, flowy?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 what's his name? What's the old sex romance novelist? What was the old

Speaker 1 Fabio? I want

Speaker 1 Fabio's long, beautiful hair. Wow.
I want to be Fabio with a big butt. Fabio with a big butt and a big black penis.

Speaker 1 Also, blue eyes.

Speaker 1 I want Freddy Kruger arm. You want one crazy hand.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I want one Freddy Kruger.
I mean, we can go any.

Speaker 1 Think of anything. You can get to heaven.
Yeah, you can have anything. You can have anything you want.
You get to change, or once you pick, you're in. You have props as well.
I'll have a harp.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're carrying around a harp all day? That's heavy. Freddy Kruger hand.
And a harp and harp.

Speaker 1 Bing, bam, bang, bang.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it would break the strings.

Speaker 1 Angel Bobby.

Speaker 1 Do you have any props in the afterlife, Kendall?

Speaker 2 I want.

Speaker 1 Kendall Jules?

Speaker 1 Taco. Oh, taco for sure.
So even when you eat it, another one just appears?

Speaker 1 Well, then you're making the assumption that Mexicans go to heaven.

Speaker 1 I don't think they do.

Speaker 1 I don't think they do. I don't know.
I just want their food. I get it.
Do you think there's a border wall in heaven as well that they have to get over?

Speaker 1 So wait, you want a taco?

Speaker 1 It's a continual taco. Every time it comes back in one hand, what's in the other hand? Just my hand, so I can.
You need a regular hand. This guy didn't plan.

Speaker 1 He wants a harp and a and a fucking and knives. Bro, the harp isn't attached to the hand.
And yet it is. Yep, it's not an extension of the hand.
It's something I'm holding. No, yes, it is, though.

Speaker 1 Oh, I made an extension harp hand. It's an extension harp hand.
So it's constantly. You have to

Speaker 1 be that. It's constantly just breaking.

Speaker 1 Good luck touching your penis with a harp hand or knives. I fucked it up.
Yeah, that's it. I fucked it up.
How about no prop? I think you got to keep it. No Freddy Krueger then.

Speaker 1 All right. All right, thank you.

Speaker 1 I have a regular hand. You have one regular hand.

Speaker 1 We all need one regular hand. Yeah, yeah.
I want one that's a... Remember in Beetlejuice when he turns into that big thing and he's got those two hammers?

Speaker 1 I want one of those big sledgehammers from the carnival ride that bing, you know that thing? Oh, yeah. You want one of those?

Speaker 1 I want one of of those so if anybody makes me mad you know i can just i can fucking i can kill him right there you one free hand and then that free hammer hand that's one of my favorite scenes when he does that that's what i want a hammer hand who's that that's freddy when freddie when um beetle juice becomes that that guy

Speaker 1 look at those big beautiful hammers don't you want one one weapon

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Speaker 1 I still stuck on this idea that you'd kill us. I feel like we've been so nice to you all these.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I said if I die because of you, I'll kill you.

Speaker 1 How would we kill you? How would we let you die? Oh, you mean at the roller coasters? But that's kind of of your fault, not really ours.

Speaker 2 No, because I said I don't want to go.

Speaker 1 Right, we'd make you go.

Speaker 1 But I guess...

Speaker 1 But you swim with sharks. Yeah, that's way more dangerous.

Speaker 2 I'm still scared of the rides.

Speaker 1 They don't have those kind of things in the Philippines. You don't have life is a roller coaster in the Philippines.
Yeah. That's scary to me.
To get on a regular bus, you could die.

Speaker 1 When there are city buses, is it scary when you just take a city? Yeah, it is.

Speaker 1 Are there like, do people like, you know, you see those videos on the internet of there's a guy just pull his penis out and he just jerks off on the bus and they have to like let him never seen that before

Speaker 1 see

Speaker 1 where dude this happens all the time in person and they can't and you can't say no people just like let it happen wait wait I'm on a bus

Speaker 1 minding my own business I have to go to CVS yeah I need a destination what I'm doing

Speaker 1 I get it no I totally get it so what am I getting I'm getting toothpaste for sure no fuck no you're out all right I need it one of those like um just pick it up will you

Speaker 1 I will not What do you need? I need a chest, like one of those, like, um,

Speaker 1 um, menthol chest rubs. Oh, oh, uh, vapor rub.
Exactly. Got it.
I get it. What do you, are you sick? No, I just like them.
Oh, you just want it to sleep? I like the sensation on my chest.

Speaker 1 Will you give me some Epsom salt while you're there? The lavender one, the big bag. You like Epsom? Love Epsom salt.
Dude, I... Do I not love Epsom salt? It's my favorite.
It's my favorite.

Speaker 1 Do you ever use it? I have bad feet. Oh, my God.
But I use it for my foot.

Speaker 1 You soak your feet in it. No.
What? No. What do you do? I forget it.
Bob? It's not a thing. Well, you're going to go now.
Okay, so

Speaker 1 you know how my legendary left foot. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 You know about it? Yeah, I think everybody on earth knows about it. So about three months ago, Kalila

Speaker 1 was awoken by it.

Speaker 1 It had a mind of its own. It woke her.
No, it didn't go, wake up.

Speaker 1 No, it doesn't do that. I was scratching it.
Ugh.

Speaker 1 Late at night. With your hand or your other foot? I do both.
Because I rub my feet together sometimes. No, I use my hand.

Speaker 1 And what I used to do is so gross, but

Speaker 1 I used to peel the skin off of it. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I ate two hours before the show, knowing that something might come up. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And when she was just like, she looked at me in the night, she's like, that's really gross, right?

Speaker 1 And I go, yeah, I think I'm done. So I stopped doing it.

Speaker 1 My foot is almost healed. Really? Yeah.
You finally don't have any scabbing or anything anymore? There's no more itch. Wow.
And I've been using Epsom salt. And that's been helping? Yes.

Speaker 1 Wait, you soak it, right? You just. So I just, I take the crystals.
Right, the Epsoms. Right?

Speaker 1 And if I have in between the toes an itchy feeling, like a little red bump with some itchiness, I take fucking Epsom salt, right? And I put it on that little red, you know, thing on the skin.

Speaker 1 And I start rubbing it until it bleeds. Wait, that's not a good idea.
Yeah, I do. Why would you do that? Because it feels so fucking good.
Until it bleeds?

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I need, once I scrub it, it feels so, and then it gets numb

Speaker 1 almost. Yeah.
And then the feeling goes away. And that's helping.
Feels great. I don't know if that's in the direction.

Speaker 1 It feels good, though. What is...
Look up Epsom salt. I definitely don't think you're supposed to do that.
I think you're supposed to just put it in hot water, let it soak.

Speaker 1 And I don't know what it means, by the way. What is Epsom? Go to like what it is.
Go to like Wikipedia of what it is.

Speaker 1 It's salt, man. No, you don't know.
It's a special kind of salt. It's deep sea, man.
Is it just deep sea? It's just deep sea salt. It's magnesium sulfate.
From the deep.

Speaker 1 But what is so special about it?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Oh, it's MGSO4.
That's what it is, the MG4 of it. MGSO4

Speaker 1 is what attacks the fungi. I can't believe you don't use it.

Speaker 1 It feels so good at night. You guys, you have a bath, don't you have a bathtub?

Speaker 2 What do you use it for?

Speaker 1 I mean, she doesn't listen. You don't listen, do you?

Speaker 2 We've talked for five minutes. I just listened to Tito Bobby rubbing it on his foot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can do that.

Speaker 1 You can fill up a bathtub and turn up hot water and do that. You can also smoke it.
Some people smoke it.

Speaker 1 You never smoked bath salts? You never heard of this? Oh, you got to smoke it. You got to smoke it.
Or snort it. That's also fun, but you got to crush it up a little bit.
You got to crush it up a bit.

Speaker 1 Have you tried it? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 G wants to smell it. Bath salts? Yeah, I get hungry for flesh.

Speaker 1 I've eaten a guy's whole face. Have you ever known this? People eat faces.

Speaker 1 There was a guy that ate a guy in Florida

Speaker 1 on bath salts. Do you know that? No.
You've never heard of this? We used to do it all the time. Andrew and I used to go to Florida all the time and take fucking bath salts.
Tampa, baby. Look it up.

Speaker 1 Bath salts. Don't believe us? Bath salt guy eats man's face.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You've never heard of this at all? No. It's like a thing.
It used to be a vacation thing to do in the 90s.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Face-eating attack

Speaker 1 prompted by bath salts. It's crazy to think that that's what causes people to do it.
Have you ever been on any drug that made you want to get violent towards somebody else, Bob? No. Never.

Speaker 1 I've taken a lot of drugs over the years. I've never had one that made me even think think about harming somebody.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've never done that. You know, actually, you know, the only thing that does make me think that way is booze.
And that's the most legal

Speaker 1 booze is the only time I've ever been in a fist fight or an aggressive argument.

Speaker 1 I've never been on drugs and gotten aggressive with somebody. Well, in my times before when I was loaded and stuff, I like to go cheek to cheek with people.

Speaker 1 I like touching cheeks with people. I thought you meant butt to butt.
No, no, no, no, no. Facial.
But that's sweet and soft. Yeah, and I like to whisper sweet nothings in their ear.

Speaker 1 What would you say?

Speaker 1 My highs are great. Hi.
Hi. Hi.
Right? And they go, hi, right.

Speaker 3 Who who are you?

Speaker 1 Because I'm at a bar.

Speaker 3 And you go, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Speaker 1 Right. So somebody's singing behind in a bar.

Speaker 3 You order the drink.

Speaker 1 I'm behind. Put my arms around them.

Speaker 1 Stick my f mouth by their ear.

Speaker 1 Hey, baby, what's up? Is it a guy? Yeah, whatever. Okay.
Right? And they go, what the fuck, bro? Stop touching me like that. Don't touch me, Don.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I always go, you want to wrestle.

Speaker 1 Did you wrestle people? What? Would you wrestle people in the bar? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 You would just start going in the bar. Dude,

Speaker 1 I was on the wrestling team, and if you whisper things in their ear,

Speaker 1 you have the advantage. Because they feel like they're inferior.
I was on Acid once. I was on that wrestling tournament, and I was touching this guy's body.
I was on top. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I whisper in his ear, I go, your body feels so weird. Right? And he goes, what? And I remember being able to, like, pin him because he wanted to get it over with.

Speaker 1 Because he was so scared and weirded out. Yeah, yeah.
Did you guys ever grab, be honest, because I know nothing about wrestling. Did you ever grab each other's penis? Is that a thing that happens?

Speaker 1 Do you use it?

Speaker 1 Let me tell you why I asked. I've been on top of a guy.
Yeah. You're wearing singlets.
I know, I've seen him, yeah. Right? And I've been on top of a guy, and I've had the wrists like this.
Right?

Speaker 1 This is my bedroom.

Speaker 1 This isn't a wrestling. You've got a wrestling.
Yeah, yeah, but I wear singlets.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? No, but when you do this and you're and you're singlet, because you're not wearing an underwear. So I've pressed my genitals with their genitals through the singlets before.

Speaker 1 To feel good? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Pretty good.

Speaker 1 Pretty good. It does.
Yeah. Any organ against your organ?

Speaker 1 Anything. Feels good.
Foot, arm. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You were at the club last night? Yeah. I went and had dinner across the street at that Pendry Hotel.
Was it good? Holy fuck, it was amazing. Would you go with your friends? Friends.
No, friends.

Speaker 1 A bunch of friends. Actually, you know what I was going to say to you? I don't want to bring that down, but did you know Matt Billin that passed away? I knew him.
That's so sad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, death in comedy is

Speaker 1 common.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because we're human beings and we all die. No, but I feel like there's a lot of death in comedy.
I feel like we lose people all the time. Yeah, it's super sad.
But he was a really good kid.

Speaker 1 And also, somebody told me, somebody told me today, you can Google this.

Speaker 1 Another guy,

Speaker 1 Matt Price, maybe his name. He was a comic and a magician.
I know Matt Price. Well, he's gone.
Not Matt Price Skippy from.

Speaker 1 No. This is another guy.
But that's Mark Price. Mark Price.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at this.
Matthew Price was a 27-year-old magician and comedian from Lehigh Acres.

Speaker 1 He was gunned down on Sunday in L.A. Dude, he was going to a convenience store and got shot.
There's no motive. He was killed.
Robbed and killed. What the fuck is going on? Isn't that crazy?

Speaker 1 I didn't know this man, but someone else told me about it today, and I was like, what the fuck is going on?

Speaker 1 By the way, if you're going to rob me, just take my shit.

Speaker 1 Don't kill me. Just take all my stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Why kill if you're going to rob me? Just rob me.
I think when chaos and stuff like that is happening, I feel like, do you have a good street sense?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
I feel like my street sense is okay. I have very good street sense.
I mean, but also you don't know where you are sometimes.

Speaker 1 It's part of my street sense. No, no, but I'm just saying you don't know what's going on sometimes.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, you're saying that I don't, you're saying that I don't know if chaos is going on. No, no, no.
If I'm in a fucking grocery store

Speaker 1 and three guys come in with machine guns, that I wouldn't know what to do.

Speaker 1 I feel like it's less blatant. I feel like if people came in and started something, not with machine guns, but started some kind of like hostage robbery thing, I don't think you'd know what to do.

Speaker 1 That's so rude. What's your first move?

Speaker 1 Pretend I'm dead. There you go.
That's a good one. You don't want to help?

Speaker 1 Well, we'll help.

Speaker 1 Who are you going to help? First, you got to assess the situation. I'm buying oatmeal.
Why? Because I love oatmeal. But what kind? I like Irish.

Speaker 1 Oh, Irish oats. Yeah, I like Irish.
Steel-cut oats. I love steel-cut.
Thank you. You're welcome.
Supporting me. Very good stuff.
Supporting my people. So I'm in the fucking Irish.

Speaker 1 I'm getting Irish oatmeal. Right.

Speaker 1 And I hear what? No guns you're saying? No guns, but they come and you start hearing rumbling. So I can see that, right? I think these guys are tying people up.
Me as well. I lay on my belly.

Speaker 1 I throw in all the Irish oats I can find. On On top of you.
On top of me.

Speaker 1 Right. So I'm just like, ah, right.
So I can create like a pile. A mound of Irish oats.
Of Irish oats, right? Right. And then I'll stick one arm on, right? And hopefully there's ketchup around.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. That's part of my plan.
Is that in the same aisle? I don't know. Added to the ketchup and oats are on the same aisle.
I would crawl. You should crawl.
I would crawl to the ketchup.

Speaker 1 To get the ketchup aisle. To go to the ketchup aisle.
Yeah, but I would still hold some of the Irish

Speaker 1 oats on my body. Got it.
With the cam flag. Got it.
So I'll be just crawling with a bunch of like Irish oats.

Speaker 1 Look at that round Irish oat sharp. Right, I was right.
Get to the ketchup. I stick one and I would just pour ketchup on my and then lay there.
And lay there and do convulsions. So you're not dead.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Even though they don't have guns, they're probably thinking to themselves, why is that guy acting like that? What is he doing? Well, you're crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm just imagine with ketchup.

Speaker 1 Oats on my body, right? Shaking. They're just going, what is this? They'd probably hire you.
They'd be like, you want to be on our team? This guy's out of his fucking mind. That's my job? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's the best job. Well, let me tell you something.
If guys came in and they took people hostage, but they saw that you were crazy or they liked you and they're like, Bobby Lee.

Speaker 1 And they're like, hey, man, look, we're either going to kill everyone in here and take them hostage, or you're going to be on our team. You're going to start killing people with them?

Speaker 1 I would. Ooh, what a scenario.
This is a good scenario. What I would do is I would pretend.
Pretend you're going to kill people. Yeah.
I would go through the motions, but not really.

Speaker 1 But the big dog is like, I want to see him do it to make sure we can trust him. Oh, so they're holding a woman down, like an 80-year-old woman down.
She's 96. What kind of weapon do they give me?

Speaker 1 A billy club. Oh, fuck.
That's hard. You got to beat him.
You can't stab him or shoot him. You got to beat this guy.

Speaker 1 I would do this. Check this out.
And I'm the 96-year-old woman, right?

Speaker 1 I learned this in wrestling, like pro-wrestling, right? So I would go, I would pull it. You would stomp your foot.

Speaker 1 Am I doing it? You're doing it.

Speaker 1 I'm telling the guy, I'm doing it, right? He's like, keep going, right? But what's really happening, she's going, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 Why are you doing that? See, she wouldn't move. Oh, she's not, because she's not going to get hurt.
She doesn't know. Then I whisper.

Speaker 1 Just play the bed. And she goes, I got it.
Right, right. Thanks.
Right. And then

Speaker 1 what do I have in this hand? What is in that hand? Catch up. Catch up.

Speaker 1 Catch up.

Speaker 1 Squirt, right?

Speaker 1 Squirt. Right.
Bleeding. I'm bleeding and now I'm dying.
Right, right. Okay, so then they believe you.

Speaker 1 I guess that makes perfect sense. Thank you.

Speaker 1 If these people came into the grocery store, Rudy, and they said, you got to be on our team and kill people or we're going to kill you, what are you going to do?

Speaker 1 Is the ball here with me? No.

Speaker 1 No, you're alone. You're alone.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 1 You're alone in the grocery store. How about this? How about you're in the ketchup aisle? Yeah.
Right?

Speaker 1 I'm in the fucking Irish out aisle, right?

Speaker 1 We both have to get the same thing, right? So both our bodies at one point were crawling by each other.

Speaker 1 Just two snakes on the ground. We're crawling by God.
She's already got a catch up on her body. And I go, where are you going? You're going.

Speaker 1 I'm going to the Irish Oak.

Speaker 1 I go, why can't you use the Prince fucking bomb bat? Why do you have to get the Irish Oak? She's like, I need the Irish Oak. That's my thing.
No, but it helps. Find other boxes.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That'd be crazy. So if he's with you, you're going to, if he's,

Speaker 1 let's say you're alone. Would you start killing people for the hostage people?

Speaker 1 These are criminals, man. These are bad guys.

Speaker 2 Yeah, maybe I'll just kill one.

Speaker 1 You would kill one person to stay in the crew? Yeah. But what if you liked it?

Speaker 1 And they were like, isn't it fun? And you're like, kinda. And then I'll stick with them.
You'll stick around. How easy would she be in a gang? She'd be so good in a gang.
Because she's a yes person.

Speaker 1 She's down. She'll just do it.
She's just down to do it. Yeah.
Could you be in a gang?

Speaker 1 No. I think the perks would be amazing.
I couldn't do it. I can't kill anybody.
What if you don't need to kill? What if you just need a...

Speaker 1 I'll be a runner. Like a drug mule? Yeah.
Like, you have to put all this Coke in your butt and fly to.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I would do that. Would you do that? Yeah.
How much Coke? That's like a pound and a half. Of Coke in my butt? Mm-hmm.
Is that doable?

Speaker 1 How much... What's the most amount of Coke someone swallowed in balloons? Have you ever seen people? People used to swallow balloons? Well, heroin for prisons and stuff.
I've seen that. Or Coke.

Speaker 1 People used to swallow balloons of Coke. Oh, they did? And then they have to poop them out when they get to where they're going.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What happens if it doesn't come out? You'd be scared? Well, if one breaks, you're dead.

Speaker 1 If one breaks, it's over, you're dead. But if I eat a bunch of cocaine that's in a balloon,

Speaker 1 it doesn't dissolve in my belly. A man swallowed nearly three pounds of cocaine and 148 pellets.

Speaker 1 Investigators say Erro Simpson, 41 of Jamaica, swallowed 148 pellets containing cocaine that weighed nearly three pounds. Three fucking pounds of cocaine were in his body.

Speaker 1 He was arrested earlier this month at Fort Lauderdale, Hollywood International Airport. Wow.
Oh, my God. That guy's a champ.

Speaker 1 Three pounds of cocaine?

Speaker 1 That's a lot of money, right? I mean, how much is that worth? I don't know. I'm not good at that.
How much is three pounds of cocaine worth?

Speaker 1 I mean, that's just a. Let's take a guess.
Three pounds of cocaine.

Speaker 1 What's a pound?

Speaker 1 Let me just weigh it with my hand. There it is.
That looks good. That's a pound right there.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 This is worth

Speaker 1 $12,000. A pound of cocaine is worth $12,000? I don't know.
I've never bought cocaine. Well, me neither.
I know. That's why this is a good experiment.

Speaker 1 I would say it's over $100,000. I would say,

Speaker 1 yeah. One pound? Oh, no, I'm thinking about what he did.
Three pounds. Oh, one pound, I bet you.
One pound is like $70,000. How much is a pound of American word? $70,000.

Speaker 1 Do one pound. Do one pound of cocaine worth.
I say $70,000. What does Rudy say?

Speaker 1 $15,000. 15 Gs.
12 Gs, 15. I say 75.
Okay. All right, let's head.

Speaker 1 Street prices on cocaine.

Speaker 1 Cocaine retail. That's so funny.
Oh, the fucking money. Fucking graph with the Guards going on.
Who did that?

Speaker 1 Let's just go to Reddit. Reddit always knows.

Speaker 1 Prices range from 12 Gs to 35 Gs per kilo. What's a kilo? 2.2 pounds.
2.2 pounds. Oh, so.

Speaker 1 I was closest. Yeah, but look, but then it says, however, the price of kilogram cocaine range from.

Speaker 1 man, this is tough. I haven't done cocaine since high school, so if I did one pound of cocaine right now, would I die?

Speaker 1 Pretty sure. The average amount of cocaine that someone can do can't be close to a pound.
The most cocaine you... What's the most cocaine somebody can do in one sitting?

Speaker 1 Have you ever done cocaine, Rudy? No. Have you ever been offered cocaine? Don't ever do it.
Don't ever do it. Because of fentanyl, you can't do it.
No, it's so bad. It's so bad.

Speaker 1 Have you ever been offered cocaine at a party?

Speaker 1 No one's ever said, hey, do you want to bump or do you want to go skiing? No. No one used code words on you? No.
Hey, Brownie, you ever seen white? OxyCotton, you can. You can do Oxy.

Speaker 1 I'm okay with Oxycontin. Yeah, that's insane that we're approving her to do Oxy.

Speaker 1 But marijuana is okay for you to use. We're okay with that and mushrooms.

Speaker 1 But nothing else.

Speaker 1 Or ketamine. Ketamine, we're okay with.
What is ketamine again?

Speaker 1 Special K. Yeah.
You never did that? No. When you were using? I did.
I did.

Speaker 1 Not Molly, but the other one. Ecstasy.
This is kind of the same thing. Is it? Kind of.
MDMA is like the purest form of ecstasy. Yeah, when I did ecstasy once, I

Speaker 1 started masturbating in public. Just outside? Yeah, at the Bellagio.
In Vegas? Yeah. What the fuck? And then Ike Berenholtz had to drag me to my hotel room by my hair.

Speaker 1 And just watch you jerk off and get a drink. No, he just dragged me through the fucking hotel to get me into my fucking hotel room.
Wait, were you doing like a mad promo there?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, we used to go to Vegas a lot, you know, after like a season rap. We would just all go.
Yeah. Right.
And take a trip. Did I gamble? Oh, yeah.
You did?

Speaker 1 What did you play? Dude, can I tell you the worst? So

Speaker 1 I'm so mad at Adam Adam. Did Adam ever tell you the story? Adam Egan? No, Adam Ray.
Oh, no. What happened? So he opens for me in Fort Lauderdale.
And there's a casino there, right?

Speaker 1 And I'm just fucking around. Now, I don't have my ID.

Speaker 1 Why? I just didn't have it. Oh, right.
Right.

Speaker 1 I had an expired driver's license.

Speaker 1 So I'm sitting there and I'm just fucking around between shows and whatever. And then I click the thing and all the bells and whistles go off.
Like on a slot machine. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Things are fucking, you know. And now I'm going, what the fuck? I don't have my ID.

Speaker 1 They're coming now. Right.
So I'm texting Adam Ray,

Speaker 1 going, get over here right now because I don't have my ID. They're not going to give me the money.
So you have to come here and pretend that you won this. Right.
To claim the money. But he's chasing

Speaker 1 girls.

Speaker 1 You know how they do that?

Speaker 1 So the lady comes up to me. She goes, all right, well, congratulations.
You made. I think I'm owing like 35 grand.
Holy shit. And she goes, ID.
And I go, I don't have it.

Speaker 1 She's like, you can't get the money. So I go, what? That's fucking crazy.
I'm playing here at the fucking casino. Yeah.
So I ended up going to like some office or some like

Speaker 1 some chief. Oh, the chief was there.
Yeah, he's like, you have to go. Hello, Bobby.
Bobby, you have to go. I heard you

Speaker 1 grab your ID, fly back, and then we'll give you the money. Really? Yeah.
Did you do that? No. You just left the 35 grand on the table? I left the money.
Wow.

Speaker 1 What a fucking bummer, dude. Adam's fault.
It is.

Speaker 1 Adam owes me 35 grand.

Speaker 1 Does he know about this? Does he know that he cost you 35 grand? You should call him and tell tell him. Yeah, I should ask him.

Speaker 1 I can't believe that's insane that he fucked that up for you. He fucked it up for me.
And was that the last time he ever opened for you? Yep. It was.

Speaker 1 Well, when you lose 35 grand from an opener, you know what I mean? That awfully does something to the relationship.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Here we go. Adam Ray.
Let's hear what he's got to say about it. All right.

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Speaker 1 See what ring he answers.

Speaker 1 Two.

Speaker 1 He might not pick up, huh?

Speaker 3 Oh, there he is.

Speaker 1 Bubby Lee. Adam, you're on bad friends right now.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 what's up, guys?

Speaker 3 You caught me halfway through a

Speaker 3 dinner where my stepdad was pitching me a movie about guys who have Benjamin buttons disease in space so

Speaker 1 that's a great movie how high are you guys yeah are you guys high

Speaker 3 uh i'm on a little bit of an edible i'm at a family dinner at my um at my folks place and uh yeah it's a lot right now it's a lot my mom literally told me uh if i wanted some of the juice in the bowl of mushrooms on my rice that I could reach for it and put it on my fucking rice.

Speaker 3 Can you guys buy me a ticket back to LA?

Speaker 3 I'm literally, you caught me fired up, baby.

Speaker 1 All right, Adam,

Speaker 1 I called you for a specific incident that you and I had. Do you remember when you opened for me in Fort Lauderdale?

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, and I was, um, yeah, I'll take it from here, Bobby.

Speaker 1 So I believe

Speaker 3 we were in, we were in Fort Lauderdale. Jealous, Santino? Yeah.
You're going to Dania soon.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm going to be there.

Speaker 3 All right.

Speaker 1 Let's plug those dates real quick. I've already been there when this comes out.

Speaker 3 Great, great, great. Man, you had so much fun in Dania.

Speaker 1 So fun, dude. I love it.

Speaker 1 I loved it. End of the story.

Speaker 3 So Bobby and I are we're doing the Fort Lauderdale Improv. It's awesome.
There's, as you know, a hard rock, like Vegas style strip of restaurants and nightclubs.

Speaker 3 You see a lot of guys named Brandon looking to fight, guys named Tyler.

Speaker 3 We went to Maggiano's and got all the food.

Speaker 3 It was where I learned truly, Bobby. And, you know, I'll go on record saying this, best guy that I ever went on the road with.

Speaker 3 You fucking just was like we're going to eat this is a thing we're doing i'm buying everything on the menu take a couple bites take it with you take it to the green room give it to a bum give it to a girl who's trying to hook up with a bum yeah and just let's just spread the wealth and we got everything so then we go to the shows we do the shows i meet a girl there and um and i'm

Speaker 3 you know, at this point, feeling pretty good, Andrew. I did about 28 minutes of comedy.
Four were great. And I'm now now in the casino and

Speaker 3 my Bobby, I think I'm going to go hang out with this girl in the room. Bobby, am I still telling the right story?

Speaker 1 I guess. We hope.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 And then Bobby,

Speaker 3 Bobby was gambling, as he does.

Speaker 3 But this time it was offstage.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 3 so he's

Speaker 1 greedy. He's fucking attacked me for a reason.

Speaker 1 He was a fucking asshole.

Speaker 3 He starts hitting what they call in the gamblers world a hot streak and

Speaker 3 I think hit maybe I want to say maybe you won $10,000 to $15,000

Speaker 1 it was like $30,000

Speaker 3 yeah that sounds way too high let's go with let's go with 13

Speaker 3 let's do 20 grand 20 let's say let's let's let's let's come to terms on an even 19,500 all right 1950

Speaker 1 yeah go ahead go ahead

Speaker 3 yeah so

Speaker 3 you didn't have your ID, if memory serves me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 3 And so

Speaker 3 he goes, well, I need my buddy, my feature, my confidante, my pal. The guy I tried to get me to take extends from the gas station with late night.

Speaker 3 I dangle dates over his head and say, hey, if you don't eat these 32 oysters, I know you hate seafood and texture, then you can't go to San Jose Phoenix in Dallas.

Speaker 1 So this guy is just dangling a world in front of me.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 I'm up in the room. And I'm trying to be

Speaker 3 just a guy living his life. I lost 20 grand.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so

Speaker 3 Bobby didn't have his idea. He wanted me to come down and pretend I was the guy that won.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 3 I was able to receive the phone call. And Bobby was furious.

Speaker 1 Wait, you were hooking up. That's why you couldn't come down.
Yeah. Yeah,

Speaker 1 buddy.

Speaker 3 I was being a feature. I was being a feature.

Speaker 1 well i hope that was twenty thousand dollars worth of pussy because you really it up

Speaker 3 yeah it was i mean look is it something that i think about every time uh i get a call live on a podcast yeah yeah

Speaker 3 i do i do feel bad about it i'll tell you that much you know i'm a sensitive guy that definitely i uh i didn't care what happened after uh to to you taking me on the road i felt real bad as a person and a friend so

Speaker 1 it's okay

Speaker 1 it's okay all right adam thank you love Love you. I love you, buddy.

Speaker 1 Bye.

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 1 I'm re-watching fucking Sopranos from the start. Because of the movie? No, just because I felt, because it's available on HBO now to download, and I can download it on my iPad.

Speaker 1 I forgot how fucking good. It's so good.
It's so fucking good. I mean, Gandalfini is unfucking real.
Yeah, he is with the ass. I'm re-watching every episode from scratch.

Speaker 1 I started from season one again. I want to do that with the wire as well.
Someone else just said that to me, but I liked the wire, but by the end, I was like,

Speaker 1 I kind of

Speaker 1 cut me out a little bit.

Speaker 1 yeah but sopranos was good all the way through look dexter was great too dexter was great the thing about sopranos is because so much time has passed when was it first on the air 2008 is my guess but that probably that sounds maybe wrong soprano but dude it was so long ago that when you see it 99 holy fuck

Speaker 1 so just it looks you know It's not shot as well as shit is shot today. It's not, there's so many things about it.
You're like, wow, if you shot this show today,

Speaker 1 it would be fucking on, it would be

Speaker 1 the greatest show that's ever existed. And it's already still one of my favorites.
But I've been watching this on the airplane and Rick and Morty. I got into Rick and Morty.
It's pretty good.

Speaker 1 It's so fucking funny. Inside Job, too.
Pretty good.

Speaker 1 Inside Jobs?

Speaker 1 Inside Jobs, pretty good. What's Inside Job?

Speaker 1 Animation I'm On.

Speaker 1 Oh, I did see you preview that. I did see you push that.

Speaker 2 I saw the first episode.

Speaker 1 You did? And I had done with it. Is it good? Oh, my buddy Clark Duke is on it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's on Netflix. Yeah.
Is that you? The girl? I'm the. No, look at the.
No.

Speaker 1 Show me Bobby Lee's. You'll be able to tell if you get the group together.
It's a chubby little Korean guy. No.
That's you with the.

Speaker 1 That's me. That's funny.

Speaker 1 That's cute, Bob.

Speaker 1 That's cute.

Speaker 1 That side-by-side they did of you and that guy is wonderful. What's the character's name? Dr.
Andre? Yep.

Speaker 1 Dr. Andre.
He's just a drug addict, doctor. Love it.
Yeah. I love when they pitch that in the room.
They're like, who'd be good at this? Bobby.

Speaker 1 Drug addict, Asian. Because doctors are Asian.
Oh, yeah, Bobby. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's fucking great. That's you.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Watch Inside Job. What's that as well? You've never seen it.
I don't know what it is.

Speaker 1 I heard it's good. Have you read any of the scripts? Or just your lines? The beginning I did, yeah.
How many episodes? 10?

Speaker 1 Yeah, 10.

Speaker 1 That's awesome, Bob. But it took years.
Yeah, it takes a fucking long time. I just finished one.
It's weird. It's like you get a call and they go, all right, next week, episode 112, 116.

Speaker 1 And then every year, you just go, this is never going to come out. Yeah.
And then it does. I just finished one called Royal Crackers that will come out at the end of next year, I think.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Animation takes fucking forever. It takes forever.
Forever and ever. Yeah.
But I mean, I can't wait to see it. I'm going to watch it.
Okay, thank you. Everybody watch.
No, don't watch it.

Speaker 1 It's Netflix.

Speaker 1 Fucking, they don't need your views. Do they?

Speaker 1 Listen, anything that you're fucking in, I'm going to fucking promote it. All right?

Speaker 1 I promoted something that I'm in, right? I threw it out there, and you're doing this right now. Watch inside your shit.
All right, I'm saying, you know,

Speaker 1 you pitch Davey and your road dates and whatnot.

Speaker 1 I'm fucking pitching a fucking animation show that I didn't. You don't even know what it is.
I know, but it's on. Okay, but you should know what it is.
It's about conspiracy. It's a government.

Speaker 1 Okay, look at me. I'm a reporter from Variety.
Oh, my God. Bobby Lee, thank you for coming today.
Tell us all about Inside Job

Speaker 1 and your character on Inside Job. It's a covert government agency, right? And we deal with conspiracy theories and this and that.
This and that? Yep, and that's what the show's about.

Speaker 1 What was your favorite part of the show? All right. Anyway,

Speaker 1 don't watch it. Don't watch it.
No, what? Don't watch Inside Job. Fuck it.
Let's move on. Please watch Inside Job.
You fucking cocks. Suck me.
On Netflix. Fuck you.

Speaker 1 A place where neither Bobby nor I have a special Inside Job. On Netflix.
Don't you think we're going to get one, though?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I feel like we are.
Should you think Bad Friends should have a special on there for sure? If nothing else.

Speaker 1 Should we just do a Bad Friends special? On Netflix? Yeah. I'd be down to it.
Do you think that would help?

Speaker 1 Help what? Our emotional state? Do you think we'll get another special after that one? Or do you think?

Speaker 1 Depends on how good it is.

Speaker 1 But I think that if you and I did.

Speaker 1 If we did Bad Friends Tour. 35 Minutes.
Bad Friends Tour slash special,

Speaker 1 we could put that on Netflix. I don't know if people would want to see that, but I don't know.
I think they would. You do?

Speaker 1 Rudy's our Rudy, what do you think? I don't want to do it. Got it.

Speaker 1 I do love that. I know.

Speaker 1 We're going to make her do it. You're going to do it.
You don't have a choice. What am I going to do? Yeah, we'll do

Speaker 1 sketches with it. We'll do sketches.
We'll do sketches, and you'll play characters. You don't like wig play?

Speaker 1 You don't like wig play? Prosthetics.

Speaker 1 You don't like wig play? You You don't like it? You're not a big fan of wig play? No. Oh.
We're going to make you do it. Have you ever worn a wig? Yeah, she has on the show.
Oh, yeah, one time.

Speaker 1 No, but I mean in your real life. No.
Never. Never.

Speaker 1 Have you ever worn a wig in your real life?

Speaker 1 Transformed into somebody else?

Speaker 1 Disappeared into a character? I used to use the black spray.

Speaker 1 What is that? To hide the bald spots. Black spray? What's black spray? There's a black spray that gets

Speaker 1 spray paint? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah, it works. You don't have bald spots.
What are you talking about? It's thinning.

Speaker 1 Well, every man, every human. Anyway.
I don't know what I'm going to say because I got kicked out of that hotel. You did?

Speaker 1 Why did you get kicked out of the hotel?

Speaker 1 You can say it. I was smoking a cigarette out in.
There's only two rooms in the

Speaker 1 balcony. And I asked for that room.
So you could smoke. So I can smoke cigarettes.
Reasonable. I'm out there having a cigarette like I always do.

Speaker 1 For years, I've been doing this last couple years at this hotel.

Speaker 1 I hear fucking two stories up. I'm smoking out there.
I look up and there's a head coming down,

Speaker 1 looking down.

Speaker 1 Hey, this is a no-smoking premises. I go, what?

Speaker 1 Don't, or I'll rat you out. And I go, dude, what the fuck? He's like, yeah, man, I'm warning you.
So, like,

Speaker 1 so I had to smoke in the room

Speaker 1 because I was afraid. Instead of taking a walk outside.
No, no, no, no, no. It's five stories up.
So now I'm smoking in the room, looking up to see if he's there.

Speaker 1 But meanwhile, now the hotel room smells

Speaker 1 like that. And I got a call going, you're banned from the hotel for life.

Speaker 1 Did they charge you for the smoking in the room? I don't know. I just got one call from a producer.
We guys put you in a different hotel. I go, sorry.
Because you were smoking in the room? Who cares?

Speaker 1 Well, you can't smoke inside. This isn't 1986.
Dice does it.

Speaker 1 Dice

Speaker 1 lit a cigarette at a gate at LAX.

Speaker 1 And what? And not recently? No, but many years ago. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 You can't do that anymore? No, you can't. Why? I would love to go on a plane with you and have you light up a cigarette on an airplane.
But you know,

Speaker 1 when you go through the security checkpoint, you can't go through it with me. Why? Because you get flagged every fucking time? No, there's always an argument.
So these guys have to go in separately.

Speaker 1 Why do you argue with the security? Ari Shafir.

Speaker 1 Ari Shafir is working security now? No, no, no. But Ari Shafir told me that you don't have to listen to them.
You do? They're not the police. I know, but this is what he was trying to get in my head.

Speaker 1 He goes, they're not the police. And I go, oh, really? Yeah, they don't really have any rights and power, right?

Speaker 1 So I go, what do I do? He's like, just give them the minimum amount.

Speaker 1 Why made it make it harder to do that? I know, but what I'm saying, so what I purposely do is I

Speaker 1 sometimes when they, one time I put a pocket pussy in there and I made it wet.

Speaker 1 In your suitcase? Yeah, so I put this wet pocket pussy in my fucking

Speaker 1 just so that they could have to take out this wet thing.

Speaker 1 Sir? Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, you know what I mean? I'm not embarrassed by it.
No. So yeah,

Speaker 1 that's not going to explode. That's Sheila.
Right. So they'll do this and they'll put it back in and that's it.

Speaker 1 But here's what I don't like. After you go to the security checkpoint, you give them the ID and your fucking boarding pass, right? At that point, don't ask me where I'm going.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. So after I do that, when somebody goes, wow, so where are you going? I always go, it's none of your fucking business.
That's where the problem will be. You're begging for trouble.

Speaker 1 You're begging for trouble. Your Kyle Ritten is on your way around the airport.
Yeah, exactly. Already taught me how to do that.
Good example. It's not a good thing.
No. No.
Not the guy to follow.

Speaker 1 Not the good guy. So every time I'm there, right, there's always a problem.
Why do you just make it? Why don't you just get the TSA and all that shit and go to fun? It's fun. Do you not have clear?

Speaker 1 I have clear. Yeah, you don't have to clear anybody.
You just boop, boop, and you walk right through. Yeah, but sometimes clear, the line is so low that doing it is longer.

Speaker 1 So I'll just go the regular way. Really?

Speaker 1 Let's watch this video. All right, let's watch it.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah.

Speaker 1 Load that clip, little girl. Yee! Yee! Oh, my gosh!

Speaker 1 Oh my god, she's so good with a gun. It's unbelievable.

Speaker 4 All right. Set the bar at 1180 with that one.

Speaker 1 Let me see what I can do. Well, I'm not robbing that house.
That's insane how good that is. That girl comes out of nowhere with those glasses on.
How old is that kid? 10? That's amazing.

Speaker 1 How old are kids like that? You're a girl. How old is that girl?

Speaker 1 She looks like eight. Eight.
Jesus Christ. And she's that good with a gun.
That's amazing. But scary.
I mean, but. But cool.
It's very cool. If my daughter was that, I'd be scary.
So cool.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So cool.
She'd protect the house. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Put that in your backpack. I I go, baby.
That's cool.

Speaker 1 I hear a noise. I'm like, baby, get your gun.

Speaker 1 I send my eight-year-old downstairs to investigate. Yeah.
Have you ever shot a gun?

Speaker 1 I have, yeah.

Speaker 1 Like a handgun or anything bigger? I've shot machine guns before and handguns. Love machine guns.
I love them. It's so fun.
Yeah. I get it that guns are bad, but also, have you done it?

Speaker 1 That's what I always want to say when someone's. Well, it wasn't a human being.
I was shooting at like a little bottle or something. Oh, mine was a bunch of human beings.
Oh, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know. No.
No, no. I shot in a range.
Well, I've shot outside, too. Yeah, for me, here's it.

Speaker 1 It's tough because they're so fun. They're fun.

Speaker 1 They're so fun, dude. What do you mean, fun? It's tough to be when people are like against guns.
I'm like, I know, but they're so fun. They're fun until you get hit by one.
Well, I've never been shot.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 You've never been shot. I know.

Speaker 1 Well, I wonder what I would be. Like, I watch movies and people get shot.
I wonder how I would react.

Speaker 1 Hey, what? What? What?

Speaker 1 This is it, man. I know, but what? Who are you? I can't do this anymore.
I don't know, but who are you? I'm me, and it's you.

Speaker 1 Oh, Andrew? Yeah. It's so dark here.
I didn't.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
I didn't mean to talk about it. You don't want to work for a while.
I understand that.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 can I ask you a question? I can't do this anymore. I understand that.
But before you pill that, can I ask you a question? Sure. Does this mean the podcast is over? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Bang!

Speaker 1 And then, so what I would do is. What do you do if I shoot you? No.
Well, do it again. Just do it again.
Do it again.

Speaker 1 Hey. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do it. You want to die? Well, I mean, bang!

Speaker 1 Are you coming?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God, you're coming.

Speaker 1 Why did you do that?

Speaker 1 Because, Bobby.

Speaker 1 All those months on the podcast. Do it again.
Wait a minute. Do it again.
Bang! Aww!

Speaker 1 Oh, wait, are you touching yourself? Yes, yeah, yeah. Bang! Oh! I'm almost there!

Speaker 1 Shoot, shoot one on the dick. Shoot one on the dick.
Shoot one on the dick. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
That's how it works.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Shoot me in the dark alley. All right, right.

Speaker 1 Shoot me. Hey, you little

Speaker 1 pissin' anti little pissin' anyway.

Speaker 1 Bobby, what are you doing? You little pissin'atty nettle. All these years together?

Speaker 1 Shut up. No, Bobby.
I'm your captain. Arise.

Speaker 1 I'm the one with the gun, you pissin' any little trollop. You know what I mean? Bobby, look at it.
Does that hurt you when I call you a trollop? Look at the gun. Oh, shit.
Look at it. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 There's no bullets in there.

Speaker 1 Pap!

Speaker 1 Dead. Dead.

Speaker 1 They find you like this with expression with a smile

Speaker 1 on the news.

Speaker 1 A bad friend shot today.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Kill her. What? Kill her.
Shoot her for sure. I don't think that's how I'd kill her.

Speaker 1 How would you kill her? You like boba? Oh, poison boba. Yeah, poison boba, dude.
She bites into one.

Speaker 1 Why put little tiny explosives in each other? That's what I mean.

Speaker 1 When you crack into it, there's like a little device, it'll explode right in your mouth. Ooh, that would be such a good way to kill her.
And then she shows up at Bad Friends with just...

Speaker 1 No jaw. No jaw.

Speaker 1 No jaw. Just a nose and a eye.
Just like, yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what I would do? I would train dogs. I would train dogs to attack.
And then I'd tell you that I got some dogs for you to foster. And then I would have them attack you to death.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you'd never see that come. And you'd go, come here,

Speaker 1 and they would eat you alive. That's me.

Speaker 1 You talked about killing us at the beginning of this podcast, didn't you? Yeah, let me ask you something. In Game of Thrones, the whole time.

Speaker 1 Remember, what's his name got eaten by dogs in Game of Thrones? Who? I didn't see it. Ramsey.
Ramsey. Yeah.
You never saw Game of Thrones? Never.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 1 It's so good. I think the creator creeps me out.
No, it's so good. Peter.

Speaker 1 Peter Schelling. Peter Schelling? I don't know what are you talking about.
The creator of Game of Thrones. What's his name? Yeah.
Have you seen that guy? You mean the writer?

Speaker 1 What's his name again? He created a video.

Speaker 1 George R. R.
Martin. Yeah, he's so creepy.

Speaker 1 But he scares me. Look at a photo of this guy.
This is why I couldn't watch it.

Speaker 1 Like a dirty sea sails. Like a fucking sea captain.

Speaker 1 This guy has. He's got.
Yeah, he doesn't look. He looks scary and scary.
No, he looks like he's the guy in the lighthouse. I can't.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 he's like the combination of the guy from UP. He looks like Ed asner's character yeah i just feel like he does he does bad stuff

Speaker 1 yeah i don't know he looks so scary to me i couldn't watch what i didn't want to fund him i didn't want to buy him more hats that's really what it was i didn't want to fund his hat oh well that's a good

Speaker 1 anyway what does ramsey gets eaten by dogs and then what

Speaker 1 he just has his own dogs right and he eat him what he does is use the dogs to eat other people.

Speaker 1 That's what he used as a punishment.

Speaker 1 And at the end, they wrap him him up and they don't feed the dogs for like a week. His own dogs.

Speaker 1 And there's a scene where his dogs walk into this little

Speaker 1 dungeon, I guess. And he's tied up bleeding.
And a dog comes and licks his face, his own dog. And then they just fucking start biting chunks of his face off.
I love that. Isn't that the best?

Speaker 1 That's dope. See, that's what we would do to you, Rude.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You keep threatening me, and you see, I've got some stuff planned for you. That's the difference between dogs and cats.
If it would cats, they eat people. It'd be harder, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but cats eat their owners. If they found them dead, they find cats eating their owners.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I've heard of that, yeah. A cat will just eat.
A dog typically won't eat the owner if it's dead. Or when a dog, like, loses its master and waits at the graveyard, or when they do all that.

Speaker 1 See, that's why they're so sweet. Yeah.
Jules, what have you been doing? What's been going on in your world?

Speaker 1 School's out. You're not going to school.

Speaker 2 I've seen Arcane on Netflix. It's really good.

Speaker 1 What's Arcane? Pretty good. A movie.

Speaker 1 It's a TV show.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, TV show.

Speaker 2 But it's based on a game.

Speaker 1 But there's another one we saw, which was Hellbound.

Speaker 2 I'm still confused with it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, me too. You can't get through it.
Are you watching Succession? I love it. So good.
So good. What's been going on in your life, though, for real? What have you been doing? Nothing.

Speaker 1 I haven't seen you in a while. Nothing.
You go to Hawaii again? You excited to go back?

Speaker 1 Yeah. How many times have you been to Hawaii since the last year?

Speaker 1 Not last year. This last year, how long have you been in Hawaii? We've gone four or five times.

Speaker 2 Five times.

Speaker 1 Did you ever get to do stuff like that before when you're living in the no? No. Privilege, huh? Look at her now.
She gets everything. Everything.
Do you fly first class when you go? No. Does Kalila?

Speaker 1 Exactly. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to fly first class.
I don't give a fuck. You let her fly first class.
No. She deserves it.
No, she doesn't. Just once.
One time I will.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you should. Yeah.
You let me. I did.
In Seattle, I think. Oh, yeah, that's right.
Wait, you flew first class in Seattle? I flew first class.

Speaker 1 You know what we should really do is do like a bad friend's private jet.

Speaker 1 You know how fun that would be to take a jet one time?

Speaker 1 What if it falls like Buddy Hawley? Then we die as bad friends together. Do you think they'll do a movie? Oh, they will definitely do a movie.
On us?

Speaker 1 They're like, what was going on on that fucking plane? How much does it cost to private movies? Do you know who Buddy Hawley is?

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 1 So back in the day,

Speaker 1 what did it call him? It was Richie Vallons. Yep.
Buddy Hawley. Yep.
The big, what's his name?

Speaker 1 His name was the big.

Speaker 1 There was another guy that was big. The Big Cheese.
Something like that. No, what was his name? The Big Cheese or something like that.
Yeah. But they all flew this.

Speaker 1 They were big, huge stars, as big as Harry Styles back then in the 50s. They took a plane and it crashed and they all died.
All these legends. Same thing happened to Leonard Skinner.

Speaker 1 Some of them died. Some of them lived.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it happened to

Speaker 1 Otis Redding.

Speaker 1 Private Jester used to crash all those. Let's not do it then.

Speaker 1 Now it's different. They don't crash anymore.
I don't want to do it then. They don't crash anymore.

Speaker 1 Really? When was the last time

Speaker 1 a Gulfstream crashed or like a G4? Let's just do it, take a helicopter on a foggy day.

Speaker 1 Did you learn making jokes about that from Ari Shift? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I learned that from Ari.

Speaker 1 Those type of jokes.

Speaker 1 All right, so

Speaker 1 I want to say something to you. The Thanksgiving, when we called you, made me reflect a lot about how much I love you and how much I appreciate you.
And I was thankful for you. Okay, I love you.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I also thought about the rest of the people that work on the show.

Speaker 1 And I thought about Pete and I thought about Andres, and I thought about George,

Speaker 1 and I thought about Doc.

Speaker 1 And that's all the people that work on the show.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Jules. I said, how much I love you, Jules, and Pete, and Andres, and George,

Speaker 1 and Doc. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I got to just say,

Speaker 1 Exactly. You guys mean the world to me.
You mean the world to me as well. You, doc, George, Pete, Andreas.
The best.

Speaker 1 You. You especially.
You, especially. I love you so much.
You. Yeah.
And almost nobody else. Nobody else.
Except for George, Andreas, Pete. Pete.
Yeah, Doc. And Doc.
And Doc. Yeah.
My favorite people.

Speaker 1 Eric Griffin, sometimes. Love.
That guy is the best. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I love that guy.

Speaker 1 Anyway. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm grateful to that as well. And

Speaker 1 I'm grateful as well. I'm grateful for the food we get.
I am grateful as well.

Speaker 1 The sleep we get. I'm grateful as well.
And everyone around us. Do you pray before you eat on Thanksgiving? Pray.

Speaker 1 I get into God.

Speaker 1 You spiritual now?

Speaker 1 I've always been spiritual. But more so now? Dude, I get in tune with the Lord.
What do you say to the Lord when you talk to him? Dear Heavenly Father, thank you so much for all the

Speaker 1 gruel.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much for the sustenance. God bless.
Thank Thank you so much for

Speaker 1 introducing island people to us.

Speaker 1 Island people. Island people, right? Especially little girls from the islands.
What are you talking about? She's from Islands. Epstein stuff? What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 No. Take your hand down.
Wait, no, I was walking

Speaker 1 in the presence of the Lord. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I just want to say I'm grateful forever. Thank you so much.
And thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you for being a friend.
Thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you.