Magical Asian Shin Lim

Speaker 1 You two are bad friends.

Speaker 2 Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 3 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 We're bad friends. Do you know what Jordan this is? Yeah, 94.
No.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Mr. Yuzo out a year?

Speaker 1 Actually, this might... That's this actually.
No. No, this is.
This is... Wait, this is...

Speaker 1 It's the number four, so it's like... Well, it's the four, but it's got to be 80.
It's got to be 89.

Speaker 1 Okay, here's another point, though. But he wasn't too far off.
All right, here's another point, though. Yeah, who gives a shit? People like us do, urbans.
Yeah, oh, you're an urban. Yeah, yeah, no.

Speaker 1 All right, I thought you were Midwest. You're more urban? Chicago? Chicago, what the fuck? There are suburbs in Chicago.
Yeah, but Chicago is a city. We're urbans.
Oh, you're in a suburb?

Speaker 1 Well, no. Okay.
I'm urbans. It's San Diego City.
No.

Speaker 1 San Diego is a big suburb.

Speaker 1 Even downtown San Diego isn't downtown. It's a convention center.
And it's like frat row. That's all that is.
It's like drunk frat row. San Diego is not a real city.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Is that where you're from, Bobby? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, I kind of knew. Well, then you already knew that, man.
That's why would you want to ask that?

Speaker 1 San Diego is a big town. I love San Diego, but it's not a city.
Okay. It's just a bunch of suburbs blended together.
Correct. Okay.

Speaker 1 Is L.A. a city? Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
But it's a lot of little cities. Yeah, but it's still a city.
Because Santa Monica is totally different from downtown Echo Park. It's like too many little cities.

Speaker 1 But isn't there a park that's like strictly named Los Angeles? Yeah, the center of the city, but also,

Speaker 1 but not really.

Speaker 1 It's downtown, though. If somebody goes, I live in Los Angeles, you'd say, where?

Speaker 1 Good question. But is our Skid Row better than your Skid Row? In Chicago? Yeah.
Chicago is a way tougher city than this place. Our Skid Row is crazy here.
The murder rate in Chicago is the best.

Speaker 1 We're the best in the country. No one kills more than us.
I don't know, dude.

Speaker 1 You actually don't know. Yeah, you don't know.

Speaker 1 I can base it on the riots, right? Can I count it? When you guys had a riot in Chicago, right?

Speaker 1 Back in the 60s, right? Yeah. 92.

Speaker 1 I mean, in terms of riots, we had one of the best riots on planet Earth. I know, but that's so long ago now.
What is this guy? He's

Speaker 1 in Detroit. Detroit.
D-Down. D-Down.
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Number two in the murder rate. Come on, buddy.
You don't feel that? Hey, duck, duck, duck. What is this? This is not a six.
Is this the current risk?

Speaker 1 Is this the current murder rate? Let me see. Go up.
Where is this from?

Speaker 1 Cities with the most murders in 2021. Okay, let's see what we got here.
Detroit number four. Yes.
St. Louis.
Went down. We went down.
Where's Chicago? Chicago's 10. Where's L.A.? Not on the map.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's not.

Speaker 1 But can I tell you something?

Speaker 1 Not mass shootings. Most shooting.
Oh, this is always good to mass shootings. Yeah.
Murder map. Oh, look at that.
I love the murder map. Can we not?

Speaker 1 This is a good sign. All right, you know what? I'll settle the argument.

Speaker 1 Chicago's way more violence than a more terrible place. Hey,

Speaker 1 okay, good. All right, good.

Speaker 1 Right, Detroit's a bad place. St.
Louis, then Baltimore. Yeah, Baltimore would be.

Speaker 1 Birmingham. Yeah, Birmingham, yeah.

Speaker 1 Detroit, there you are, dude. Shout out to Detroit.
Detroit. Yeah, we got it.
Dayton. Dayton, Ohio.

Speaker 1 Baton LaRouge. Isn't that where Theo's from?

Speaker 1 New Orleans, right next door.

Speaker 1 Casey Moe, Memphis 10, Cleveland, Richmond.

Speaker 1 Wow. Keep going.
Keep going. Miami Gardens, Wash, D.C., North Charleston.
Peoria. Oh, Peoria, Illinois.
Holy shit. Oh, man.
Even the Asians shut up there.

Speaker 1 Look at that grieving in your family.

Speaker 1 What does that say?

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, real quick.
Let's look at this photo real quick, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Whoever died.
Is that you guys? Is that something you know? No. That's not Rudy crying right there.
But just listen. And that's you.
That's you.

Speaker 1 If you were a lawyer, that's you consoling.

Speaker 1 That's Rudy crying. That's you.
Whoever died, right? Yeah. The guy in the right didn't care as much.

Speaker 1 did not like you he's just like why are you crying so hard i think that's a real yeah yeah he didn't like him yeah and he cheated on you 50 times and the dad is just reading the dad's just yeah yeah he's reading his grocery list this is i feel so bad because we don't this could be the most horrific thing yeah yeah yeah and we're making fun of it but give reference to it just as jetty in it's perfect yeah yeah give me a reference yeah but jumping rope that's kind of grieving happier we're doing death stuff i know you

Speaker 1 went there my soul was hurting all right let's talk about

Speaker 1 let's you know what here's we go. Here we go, right? Here's we go.
Here's we go, right? Because we have a magical Asian coming. We have the most magical Asian coming that we've ever had.

Speaker 1 Do you like magical Asian? We have three of them in here? Fucking, okay.

Speaker 1 You think the Jules and I are magical? No, they're regular Asians. We're regular Asians.

Speaker 1 You're talking about just Asians in general. They're not magical, but huh? Let's talk about Asians in general.
Yeah. But there'll be three Asians and two black guys.
It'll be kind of balanced.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I want to go positive.

Speaker 1 Don't say that again.

Speaker 1 Do you think

Speaker 1 if I do do blackface on this show, do you think it'd be bad?

Speaker 1 You know what? I don't think it would be. If I do blackface.
No, yeah.

Speaker 1 Don't do that. Should I not do blackface? Wait, tell me why I shouldn't do it.
Because.

Speaker 1 Is it funny? No.

Speaker 1 Is it funny to see a red-headed guy in blackface, red-hair, blackface? Never seen it, but you know, it's still a white face.

Speaker 1 But to America, it's still a white dude.

Speaker 1 To the hood, come on. You from the hood.
You know, they still like the white dude.

Speaker 1 And the black dude sitting next to the white dude with the black face. Then I'll be, yeah, you start a whole fucking rock.
All right, I'll do it. I'll do it.
Say no more.

Speaker 1 Can I go positive now? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I propose something. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's just, let's, I've always wanted, let's create a kid show.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 I think that, right, I think we have this perfect dynamic to create the best kids' show in the world. We can create, we can create mass, like little puppets, right?

Speaker 1 It can be in a street, a grove, whatever. You know what I mean? A grove?

Speaker 1 I don't know. You know how Sesame Street's on a street? Oh, we're on an avenue or a boulevard.
Yeah, but let's create something different.

Speaker 1 Sesame Street was on street. How about an island? Maybe like some sort of island? What is it called? It's called, oh, it can't be Turtle.
How about this? The Tops of Turtle Island.

Speaker 1 That's where the kids are. Yes.
The adults are in the bottom of the tree. Yeah,

Speaker 1 but the kids are. Yeah.
So if you look at that poster, right? This is the bottom of the turtle. That's the bottom of Turtle Island.

Speaker 1 This looks like a kid show. Yeah.
Right. So maybe we'll create a kid show called The Tops of Turtle Island.
Right.

Speaker 1 And it's a magical Saturday morning kid show. Yeah.
Right. Obviously.

Speaker 1 He's the lead. He's not just the lead.

Speaker 1 He can play the kid.

Speaker 1 Okay, listen. Yeah, yeah.
I think that you could play the kids.

Speaker 1 Right. I don't think anyone shaved the mustache and I think bingo were there.
Okay. Right? Yeah, you could.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And what do we call you?

Speaker 1 Because, you know, in Sesame Street, they had the, there was a black guy in it, right? The guy that would, the bald-headed black guy that would walk through the streets, LeVar Burton?

Speaker 1 What was his name? No, it wasn't LaVar Burton. Who was it? I don't know.
I don't know his name. Michelle Silverstein.
No, that was fucking.

Speaker 1 Man, y'all watch Sesame Street that much? No, is that Michelle's fucking Silverstein, man?

Speaker 1 As an author, bro. Oh, okay.
Wait, man. There he is.
There he is. There he is.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Yeah, he is.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 You should know this guy's name, man. He's like one of your guys.
He's one of your guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 His name is Ross School. He's Keen

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 But when it comes to Kenan. But he should be, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. You should know his name.

Speaker 1 This is either Keenan from SNL in costume or Steve Harvey. Those are the Black Muppets.
What? Oh, there's Black Muppets. There's Black Muppets now.
That's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 They were on Sesame Street? No, they're new. They got shot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. That's somewhat shot.

Speaker 1 They got shovels. That's some BL.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I'll crack.
But that's good.

Speaker 1 Is that what it's supposed to be? I'm kidding. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 All right. right, I'm just saying.

Speaker 1 Two new black

Speaker 1 Muppets on Sesame Street. One's a lawyer, right? I don't know.
Well, I mean,

Speaker 1 he disobeys the law. Right.
That's for sure. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Put that back up.

Speaker 1 It looks so fancy.

Speaker 1 Just click it in. You see the

Speaker 1 good effort. Now it's broken apart.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Rudy. Rudy, since you're young, you're the youngest one here.

Speaker 1 What are the names of the black Muppets from Sesame Street?

Speaker 4 I've never watched Sesame Street.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's...

Speaker 1 Let's start.

Speaker 4 I watched Barney.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, me too. Yeah, me too, man.
Let's see.

Speaker 1 Rudy, since you're the youngest one in here, what are the names of the black... You must know.
What are the names of the black Muppets from Sesame Street? Yeah.

Speaker 5 The

Speaker 4 father is.

Speaker 1 Those are brothers. That's no way.
They're lovers. They're lovers.
For sure. They're lovers.

Speaker 4 Oh, the one on the right

Speaker 4 is named

Speaker 1 Carl.

Speaker 1 Carl.

Speaker 1 Very good. Okay, nice.
Hansen. Carl Hansen.
Carl Hansen. Carl Hansen.
Okay. You've never met a black guy named with the last name Hansen, have you? Carl, though.

Speaker 1 Carl's a good one. What about the guy on the left?

Speaker 1 On the left is

Speaker 1 Darl.

Speaker 1 Darl. Daryl, you mean? No.
Darl. Darl.
Oh, Darrell. So, Carl and Darling.
Carl and Darrell. Carl and Darrell.

Speaker 1 Carl and Darrell Hansen. They're lovers.
Yeah, they're lovers, right? Okay. So, in our tops of Turtle Island, let's create, there's always an opening theme song.
Carl. Right.
And Darl.

Speaker 1 And Darrell, right?

Speaker 1 So I so we're opening, right? So I'm going to do a line from the new theme song. Yep.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Happiness on top of Turtle Island. Welcome, all my friends.

Speaker 1 And everybody, we love you.

Speaker 1 There's only a couple of black people here. So everybody feels safe.

Speaker 1 Hey. Rudy?

Speaker 4 Yeah, we love them so much.

Speaker 1 Bobby. And

Speaker 1 here we go. And we're going to present Carl Hanson.

Speaker 1 You come out. I'm going to.
Welcome. Yeah.
Yeah. You're fucking Carl.
I thought you said he was going to be Carl. No, you're Carl.

Speaker 1 Who gives a shit? Carl, Carl. Right, I'm Carl.
And now you come up and greet the fucking kids. Oh, hey.
This is the morning fucking news show. Yeah.
Hey, my little kitties.

Speaker 1 Hey, Carl.

Speaker 1 You love me?

Speaker 1 Do you love us?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's meet the kids. We're going to get married.

Speaker 1 What did we learn today? What do we learn today, Carl? Today we're going to learn how to just love each other and make sandwiches. That's

Speaker 1 about the alphabets or numerical numbers or anything.

Speaker 1 We got to eat first, right? Energy. We got to learn science.
Yes, sandwich.

Speaker 1 Sandwich. And we're very inquisitive, kids.
Carl, I have a question. Go ahead, buddy.

Speaker 1 How come your skin is different than mine?

Speaker 1 Well, good question.

Speaker 1 That's real because the atomic structure of an atom builds you to make you look like me.

Speaker 1 Wait a minute. It makes me look like me and make you look like you.
Oh, wow. Wow.
Because my dad dad says it's because we're better than you. Wow.

Speaker 1 What does your dad say?

Speaker 1 My dad says that your dad is racist.

Speaker 1 That's a new word, can't say. I got a question.
I'm Timothy. Hey, Timothy.
Hey, I'm seven. Okay.

Speaker 1 Nice to meet you, Timothy. Do you know OJ?

Speaker 1 Timothy.

Speaker 1 I don't know him, but I know of him. Yes.
Tell me about him. I don't know anything because we didn't learn about him in the history books in that school.
OJ broke football records. That's it.

Speaker 1 All right, now let's get going. I have another question.
Okay, your turn, and you don't ask no more questions, seven-year-old. What you got?

Speaker 1 Um, do you know Bill Cosby?

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, we do. Who is he? Who is he? What did he do? Okay, well, they're the company called Jell-O, right?

Speaker 1 We love Jell-O. They had pudding pops.

Speaker 1 Good time. You know what I mean? What did he do with the pudding pops? Well, the pudding pops, he sucked on them like everybody else.

Speaker 1 you know eats he didn't stick it in no don't say okay i don't know where you're going but i'm gonna cut you off serving your old because you can get little kids can say the darnest things you know

Speaker 1 darling

Speaker 1 i have a question

Speaker 1 what why do some people not like michael jackson

Speaker 1 we are getting good we are going for the celebrities huh

Speaker 1 say well probably uh because uh

Speaker 1 He was a good moonwalker, you know, and he was

Speaker 1 very famous. And, you know, people, it's a thing called haters in this world.

Speaker 1 We're not haters, right, boys and girls? No, we're looking out on the Chiron. Haters.
Haters. That's what the topic of the show.
Haters.

Speaker 1 And then now you talk about haters. Haters, haters, kids, are those who don't like you when you're on the top of your best.
Boo. Boo.
Do we like haters? No.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Haters can kiss ass.
Can we cuss on this show?

Speaker 1 Can I ask you a question? Okay, just give me five. Okay, yeah.

Speaker 1 did epstein kill himself

Speaker 1 shoot these kids are all right what are you watching this evening yeah this is okay yeah well did epstein kill himself we we don't know we we want to know we think he did it yeah

Speaker 1 well that is what we heard you know

Speaker 1 but it's possible it's possible you know but he's with the good lord right yeah i think um do you know much about al-assad from the lead the leader of syria

Speaker 1 he did stuff to his people

Speaker 1 Tell us about that. Well, I don't know much about him, but

Speaker 1 Egypt's a nice. He used chemical warfare on his own people, something.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Teacher, teacher.

Speaker 1 You got another,

Speaker 1 another,

Speaker 1 is it going to be good? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Teacher, teacher. Which we want to learn.
Yeah, we want to learn. We're learning.

Speaker 1 Are you pro-Palestine or pro-Israel? Shit,

Speaker 1 real hard question.

Speaker 1 You know what this is called? Yeah, Cole. We'll get back to you later.
All right. Commercial break.
Let's go. It seems as though you don't know anything about it.

Speaker 1 Trying to divert the question. Teacher.

Speaker 1 Okay, one at a time. One at a time.
That's rude. That's rude.
Go ahead. Go ahead, Darling.
Do you really think 9-11 was an inside job?

Speaker 1 Wow, you're going to be a good one. I mean, the way the buildings fell, the stacks, you know,

Speaker 1 steel seems weird, teacher.

Speaker 1 It could be.

Speaker 1 You know. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do we have anything? It seems like an inside job. Oh my God, there's a nice little young role.
A kids' school, a kids' show called Conspiracy Street would be so fucking good. So good.

Speaker 1 Could have little kids.

Speaker 1 Could have little kids talking about conspiracy. Like little seven-year-olds being like, 9-11 was an inside job.
That's funny. You know how funny that would be?

Speaker 1 But they would never have the kids, right? The kids, like, because their parents are there. Kid actors will do anything.
I know, but the parents will be like, no, yeah. So what? They're getting paid.

Speaker 1 You're like, well,

Speaker 1 we'll double the pay. Oh, yeah.
I mean, dude, you know what's so funny? Whenever I work with kids on a show, it's always so weird. Like, look,

Speaker 1 a lot of them are very sweet, but it's just like the parents are like very manipulative and controlling over the kids when they're on set. Yeah.
And this one kid was like in the pool.

Speaker 1 He's like, the pool is cold. And he's visibly like shaking.
They've been in the pool for like three hours. Yeah.
And it was warm, but it was still cold outside. He's like, the pool is cold.

Speaker 1 And the mom runs over and she goes, You're going to stay in the pool until the ted that they tell you to get out of the fucking pool. Wow.
Wow. Yeah.
Parents are fucking up.

Speaker 1 And he was like, but it's cold. And she's like, cut it out.
Yeah. And I was like, that's so fucked up.
But also,

Speaker 1 Hypothermia, lady. Yeah.
So what? Suck it up. Suck it up.
Yeah. You're getting a grand.
Yeah. Suck it up, you little bitch.

Speaker 1 When I was on the spliling together, we had a little kid that played the kid. You know, Jennifer Fisher's and Oliver's.
You know what I mean? They're the parents. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he would follow me around the set and poke me.

Speaker 1 Right? You're very pokeable.

Speaker 1 He would poke me and giggle. And I always laughed really loud so people knew where I was with the kid.
Because I would go to the bathroom. He would follow me and poke me in the bathroom?

Speaker 1 Not in the bathroom, but around, like where there's no one around. And I would run towards somebody so that just people could see him poke.
You know what I mean? Did you feel like that was bullying?

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's a little bullying.
That's a little. No, I like it.

Speaker 1 Because kids, you know, kids, I'll be honest with you, and ask Jules.

Speaker 1 Kids like me. Well, they think you're them.
No, do you.

Speaker 1 You look like a big fat. Like, when we have kids over in the house, they're like.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 I have a magical skill.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck. Get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 1 Get the fuck out of here. Don't Kick me out.
Get the fuck out of here. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Now we're talking about magic here. Come sit right here in the middle, please.

Speaker 1 This is amazing. This is fucking amazing.
Dude, good to meet you.

Speaker 5 This is amazing.

Speaker 1 Great to see me.

Speaker 1 Will you come sit down? This is so amazing. This is so fucking amazing.
Oh, I'm sorry. Look at that.
This is how professional the studio is.

Speaker 1 Your team has to do.

Speaker 1 Apple box, sit on the Apple Box. That's your wife? That's my wife.
Yeah. Which one? How are you? Which one is your wife?

Speaker 1 There's two people.

Speaker 1 I'm not assuming anything today. All right,

Speaker 1 can I do the introductions? Well, hold it. Let's let everyone settle.
May I do the introductions? Yeah, you can.

Speaker 1 All right, I'm gonna stand. I want to say that.
Do we need to move this? Yeah, my fancy. For so, if he does cards on the table, yeah, that's fine.
Yeah, yeah, move that. Yeah, yeah, get the shoe.

Speaker 1 May I do an introduction, please? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Give me a countdown, please.

Speaker 1 Jules?

Speaker 5 Oh, maybe.

Speaker 1 Three from ten.

Speaker 4 Ten,

Speaker 4 nine, eight, seven, six, five, four,

Speaker 4 three, two, one.

Speaker 1 Magical Asians.

Speaker 1 They're the best.

Speaker 1 I'm doing it.

Speaker 1 Magical Asians.

Speaker 1 Magic, they're here. They're here.

Speaker 1 To stay!

Speaker 1 They'll never go back!

Speaker 1 They're here forever!

Speaker 1 Magical Asians!

Speaker 1 The magical whites aren't as good! No chance! No chance! No chance! It's magical Asian!

Speaker 1 Okay, here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.
Hi, I'm Bobby. Nice to meet you.
I get nervous.

Speaker 1 Introduce the magical Asian. You will!

Speaker 1 I will. My bad.
I'm sorry. I got angry.
You're on steroids, and I know that you have an prednisone.

Speaker 1 All right. So many, many years ago, I'm a big fan of talent shows.
Yeah. Okay.
And I'm also, I know Pendillette. Oh.

Speaker 1 I did a movie with him.

Speaker 1 And so when I was in Hungary

Speaker 1 last summer with Pendillette, we were shooting a movie. Yeah.
And I asked him, I go, do you think that Shin Lim is the best guy out there? And he goes, I think he is. That's what Pendillette says.

Speaker 1 You know what? I think I heard this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And so I've been watching America's Got Talent over the years and also other variety shows. And I've watched every magician, right? Yeah.
Known to man. Yeah.
Right. Over the years.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I really believe that this young man, he's from Boston, correct? I am originally from Boston. Yes.
So, you know, I know things. You're Canadian now, too.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah, originally, too.

Speaker 1 There you go. Both.
You know things too.

Speaker 1 I do. And that's great.
Yeah. It made me look like a fool just now.
A little bit. Yeah.
Yeah. A little bit.
Anyway, and so I also know Howie very well. So do i and

Speaker 1 speed this up okay shin lim everybody shin lim everybody

Speaker 1 all right thank you

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Speaker 1 Subjects attained, churns apply. So, Shen, thank you so much for coming.
By the way, you know he just came from Ellen.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it was Troy. It was Troy.

Speaker 1 It wasn't. Ellen.
Who's Ellen?

Speaker 1 Ellen.

Speaker 1 Ellen. She was gone.
No, dude. She was the last episode.
This was the last season. She was one of the last episodes.
Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Well, he's been on it before.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, he came to us from Ellen. So let's really give it up for Shinlin for coming here from Ellen to here.
Look at this fucking studio.

Speaker 1 His wife is sitting on a Supple Box. Stop, stop, stop, stop.
Ellen, Ellen?

Speaker 1 Bad friends. All right, stop though, this is the market.
You can't make an argument, though. Right?

Speaker 1 Ellen shoots on water brothers right it's a five minute drive i'm i'm not talking i'm not talking i mean how long did it take you five ten minutes well we did try to go to in and out and then we realized we didn't have enough time so we came back oh

Speaker 1 you didn't get them food you guys

Speaker 1 in and out yeah yeah yeah oh my god

Speaker 1 i'm so sorry about that

Speaker 1 what's your wait what's your in-n-out order we'd love to know just the regular number one number one yeah regular fries or animal style animal style is that burger animal style no they have that yeah you can animal style anything what is animal what style animal you know animal style don't get aggressive secrets and lean back just i need information animal style is grilled onions

Speaker 1 and a little secret secret sauce but there's no

Speaker 1 dessert bun yeah no yeah it's just added into the stuff you already get can i can i just say put grilled onions in it would they know you have to say animal style for their special sauce with the grilled onions okay you guys have never heard of that

Speaker 1 You never heard of that? Neither did you have an animal style, but I didn't know what it was.

Speaker 1 You don't know much about anything, actually. Man, don't be like that.
I know a little bit. He knows a lot.

Speaker 1 Hey, Doc, like this before, say a word that you know he doesn't know, a big word. A big word? Yeah, go.
Serendipity. What does that mean? Don't know.

Speaker 1 Great movie. Oh, really good movie.
Really good movie.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 what does it mean then? It means peace, inner peace.

Speaker 1 No, it doesn't. Tranquility.
No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't.
It doesn't. It sounds like it.
It sounds like it's not. Serendipitous means something is almost like

Speaker 1 destiny-driven.

Speaker 1 Serendipitous. It's like a confluence of events that makes something destiny-driven.
You can't just throw out

Speaker 1 a fucking movie title. Luck that takes the form of finding valuable players.
It's like me saying it right now. Hey, what does quantum solace mean? I mean, it doesn't.

Speaker 1 Quantum movie.

Speaker 5 It's a movie, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Quantum Solus.
Yeah, that's what he did. Serendipity.
Well, it's two words, one word.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
Let's go back to our game. Shin Lim's here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, first of all, we both love you.

Speaker 1 We respect respect you, you're incredible. You're incredible.

Speaker 1 What do you think?

Speaker 1 Why do you think you're such a magic Asian?

Speaker 1 What do you think makes you the most magic Asian? The hair, maybe. I don't know.

Speaker 5 It's where I get all my mana from. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I just go like this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what I'm doing. That's what juices it up.

Speaker 1 When did you start really getting into it?

Speaker 5 16. I turned 16.
I was like,

Speaker 5 you know, I might be able to get a girlfriend doing this.

Speaker 1 And got a wife. No, no, no.
That was a long time later.

Speaker 5 oh really yeah because it turns out you have to actually talk to them so i couldn't

Speaker 1 i thought i thought i was like oh i just show them a trick and then and then they give me their number is this is how it works yeah that turns out no i figured that out later in my life as well i couldn't get any girls before i was 21 never same zero no i didn't get a single girl not a single one i was so shy i didn't know how to do it what we knew that but go ahead oh bro is that a slam bro burn from dots was just speaking facts yeah speaking i want to say this to you doc okay Oh, here we go.

Speaker 1 Can I just say just real quick? Remember, we have a good guy. I know we have a good idea.
I just want to say one thing, Doc, okay? Be nice. Is that you're a black man, right? Oh, boy.

Speaker 1 I'm an Asian guy.

Speaker 1 And I have a bigger dick than you are. Okay, yeah.
Okay. And so I just want to, and that's sad on you.
Well, no, you don't have a bigger dick than me, but that's something. Are you talking?

Speaker 1 What do you mean, like, like per capita? Like, in terms of birth, I bet you money. Mine's like a spam can.
It is. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's like a fucking box. It is, right? It is insane.

Speaker 1 It doesn't even sometimes enter some badges.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Sorry,

Speaker 1 no, it's fine.

Speaker 1 Do you feel good? Yeah. I feel great.
Okay, now I'm just gonna be able to get a little

Speaker 1 bit.

Speaker 1 And don't never talk to me like that. Bobby is positive.
Okay. Let's go to that.
Let's go back to Shin's Leviticus.

Speaker 1 Okay, let me ask you. So,

Speaker 1 did you guys meet? Did you guys meet because of magic?

Speaker 5 Well, in a way, yeah, she was actually a dancer for an illusionist, a big, big-time illusionist, Franz Ferrari.

Speaker 1 Ooh,

Speaker 5 big, big, big, big, and uh, and I was actually the magician performing in his theater as well.

Speaker 1 Oh, you stole him from her, kind of, something like that.

Speaker 1 You weren't dating him by any any chance. No, no, no, no.
He's like 50 years old. Oh, he is?

Speaker 1 Bobby's 50. Okay.

Speaker 1 No, and how old are you? 26. 26? Yeah.
Okay. Kalada's 26.
No, she's 35. Same, same.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Back to. Back to Shinla.

Speaker 1 You look very young.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no, don't, don't, don't. Don't,

Speaker 1 please don't inflict. I knew that about him.
I knew that we'd have a connection. What's a connection? Of course.
When I watched the YouTube and I saw him on Thing, right?

Speaker 1 It seems like a beam of light came out of his and it connected to mine. Through the television? Yeah.
Through the screen, my iPad. Do you think he felt that? I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 1 He probably didn't know what it was at the time. You feel like you connected through Bobby through television?

Speaker 5 When I was watching the podcast, yes, that's Oz.

Speaker 1 I have to go see that. Yeah, see those beams, right? So what I love about him is like...

Speaker 1 When people do magic, right? Yeah. There's like magic reveal videos afterwards.
Yeah. Right.
And people go, well, this is how this magician did it, right?

Speaker 1 There's a lot of his shit that people can't figure out. So you went on, did you go on Penn's?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you did that twice.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I did it twice.

Speaker 1 And you didn't, and they didn't get you. Apparently not.
No, no, no.

Speaker 5 I mean, I really do feel like they actually know some of it.

Speaker 1 Because I saw one of them and they did not, he admitted that he didn't get it. Yeah.
You think he was lying?

Speaker 5 No, they're not lying about the whole thing. I know they probably know certain parts of it, but I think, you know, if they enjoy the entire act as an entirety.

Speaker 5 then they say yeah you out of respect something like that yeah because most magicians we kind of know how everything really works. You know, once it's like, it's like piano, really.

Speaker 5 If you know the basic chords and everything, you can really create any like a symphony.

Speaker 1 So does anybody fool Shinlim? Oh, yeah, plenty of times. There's magicians that do tricks that you're like, I have no idea.

Speaker 5 It has to be like probably mentalism or different types, not cards, you know, right?

Speaker 1 A different type of magic. A different kind of magic.
A different type of magic. A little magic.
Go ahead.

Speaker 1 How do you feel about David Blaine?

Speaker 5 Oh, he's he's my inspiration, man. That's what I'm talking about.
Yeah. Yeah, when I

Speaker 1 because I

Speaker 1 like this guy. He's great.
He's awesome.

Speaker 5 I found it on YouTube. I started on YouTube.
That's how I learned everything. And, you know, when I saw David Blaine, he's so cool.
You know, he's so like.

Speaker 5 Because usually what it was, it was David Copperfield.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was biggest. He was the biggest.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he was a stage illusionist. And I thought all magic was just that.
It was the big boxes and that type of grand illusion. But David was really the first type where he was just doing card magic.

Speaker 5 That's all he was doing.

Speaker 5 And I said, well, this is so cool.

Speaker 5 You can do the same thing, kind of evoke that same experience in people's reactions with just a deck of cards. And so that's kind of what got me inspired to choose close-up magic.

Speaker 5 Also, it's like the cheapest, you know, it's the cheapest. It's a lot cheaper than stage magic, too.

Speaker 1 Also, can I just say this, that in terms of magicians, there's different styles, right? So it's like asking, what you just did was asking Adele, like,

Speaker 1 what do you think of salt and pepper? They're great. I know, but I'm just saying that it's...
What is that even? I'm just saying it's just because they're singers,

Speaker 1 that doesn't mean that you mean that he has an opinion about it, right? He did, though. He did, though.
And he came, he came. And he actually said it was one of the people that he was.

Speaker 1 That was like ebony and ivory. That was something.
You're wrong on this one. Okay.
I'm going to back up. Are there any black magicians? Are there any black magicians? David Blaine.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 David Blaine isn't black. What is he? He's black-ish.

Speaker 1 David Blaine's black? Sundays on ABC. What is he? I think so.

Speaker 1 I think he's half black. Okay.
Or let's find out. Yeah, we can.
We have the internet.

Speaker 1 Are there any other black magicians, though?

Speaker 1 Are there any other famous magicians? Because there's close-up magic. There's like, you know what I mean? Slide of hand.
There's different. This is true.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is true.
You can't.

Speaker 1 Look, if Pete just shows us a picture, and Pete's like, tell me if he's black. Go to his Wikipedia and we'll see.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Wikipedia is going to find out if David Blaine is black. Are there any other black famous magicians that you know?

Speaker 5 Eric Jones. He's like a very underground sleight of hand magician.

Speaker 1 He would be.

Speaker 1 So are you in the Magic Castle's club?

Speaker 5 No, actually, I'm not. I go there quite frequently.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Doc, Doc. Okay, hey, time out.
Real fast.

Speaker 1 Go back. That was it.
Go back.

Speaker 1 I'm back.

Speaker 1 He's the best in the world. I really believe that.

Speaker 1 I feel a little different, bro.

Speaker 1 You haven't seen it do it. Well, we're about to find out.
Don't get me wrong. I'm so mad about Doc.
Oh, you're right. I love you.
David Black.

Speaker 1 He was Russian, Jewish, and Puerto Rican, Italian. So, no, not black.
He's not black.

Speaker 1 Yeah. My bad.
Can I also say what else?

Speaker 1 He not only did win, not only did he win.

Speaker 1 You're a bigot.

Speaker 1 Not only did he win America's Got Talent, he won the one. You know how they do the champions one? Yeah, all the winners.
All the winners, right? From all over the world, they compete in one thing.

Speaker 1 He won that as well. Was there anybody at AGT that you didn't like that you were competing against? No,

Speaker 5 he was so amazing. I mean,

Speaker 5 you don't have time to do that.

Speaker 1 He won both.

Speaker 1 Holy shit. Let me get out this regular question before you say some dumb shit.

Speaker 1 What was. No, but when you're competing,

Speaker 1 is the competition. Turn off his mic.

Speaker 1 Is the competition.

Speaker 1 he won AGT?

Speaker 1 I mean, that's what we're talking about. He won the fucking America's Got Teller, and then he also won the champions one.

Speaker 1 Hey, look, they actually turned off his mic.

Speaker 1 Thank you, guys. Turn it back on.
I'm kidding. I'm just joking, Doc.
No, but like, you know, the competition on shows, like, look, as comics, the thing that we share with you guys would be like,

Speaker 1 it is a you sport or whatever you want. It's a you event.

Speaker 5 But there's only one winner.

Speaker 1 Right, and there's so much other competition, quote unquote, as you're climbing through the ranks. Do you guys, is there ever beef between you guys or not?

Speaker 5 On AGT, I mean, I feel like, first of all, everyone's really nice on set.

Speaker 5 They have to be, yeah. They have to be, but we don't have too much time with each other.
So there's really not enough time to kind of develop that drama.

Speaker 1 Do you have a dramatic beef with another magician? I want it so bad.

Speaker 1 He does. Oh, yeah.
I mean, there's a lot of drama that goes on. Oh, I want to know.
So she knows. We could leak it out.

Speaker 5 She does know. Yeah, you can know.

Speaker 1 There's magicians that you, like, you don't have to say names, but there's magicians that you guys clash a little bit.

Speaker 5 Sure, yeah. I mean, mean, I guess the one that's the most recent would be, I mean, would you say the guy from this magician won Italy's Got Talent? And he.
Oh, IGT.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Italy's Got Talent. And he did exactly my act, like, from beginning, middle to the end.

Speaker 1 Who is this guy? Let's fucking kill him. We're going to rip him apart.
We'll find his guy. We're going to fucking ruin this guy.

Speaker 1 On this show, we're going to ruin it. Yeah.
His career's over.

Speaker 1 Bobby is going to spend.

Speaker 1 Still my favorite. Wait, Bobby will be able to do this.
I will spend every resource to ruin this guy. Just to ruin this guy.

Speaker 1 When you did champion, did you do it with Marcelita Pomoy?

Speaker 5 I believe in champion. No, no.

Speaker 1 Marcelito Pomomay.

Speaker 5 No, but I hung out with him. He's a cool guy.

Speaker 1 Dude, the Philippines. He's not a magician.

Speaker 1 Marcelito Pomoy is the best singer, I believe, that's ever done a singing competition. In the world.
Bro, you should see him. What about Susan Boyle? No.
Watch.

Speaker 1 Dude, if you saw Marcelito Pomoy, you're going to be like, oh, yeah, that's a skill set no one else has. It's time out.

Speaker 5 It's like magic, though.

Speaker 1 Is his name Stefano? Oh, yeah. Brosato.

Speaker 1 Stefano Bronsato. We don't want to watch the thing.
Let's just see his fucking.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's.

Speaker 1 What is he, a culcan?

Speaker 1 He is, though. Yeah, he looks like a culcin.
Can I be honest? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's cute.
He is cute. He's cute.

Speaker 1 And he's got sexy eyes. Look at those.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And he's got a sweet Italian accent. They're like, I'm going to do a cardal medic for you.

Speaker 1 Even if he fucks up, he's like, a pasta.

Speaker 1 They'd lose it. Awesome.
So, wait a minute. Stefano Brozato, we have beef with.
No, I don't. I actually.
I don't know. I don't have bad friends does.
The Magic do. We have beef with.

Speaker 5 And the entire, like, the magic community got so upset over it. And I was just like, I was like, I was flattered.
I was like, oh, you know, for me, it was flattering. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I consider myself to win AGT three times now.

Speaker 1 But as a joke,

Speaker 1 but as a joke.

Speaker 1 No, but truth be told, you don't have the beef, but I want to say something to Stefano Brazzato.

Speaker 1 You steal some shit from Shinlim again?

Speaker 1 We're going to come fucking find you. Bobby, you want to say something? Yeah, I want to see something.
What's his name? Stefano Branzino.

Speaker 1 I don't even give it. I'm not going to even memorize it.
Good. I'm not going to give it in my head and no headspace.
Say, listen, Guinea. That's what you said.
You listen to me. Fuck Guinea.

Speaker 1 Guinea, is that a good word? It's a racial epithet towards Italian. Yeah, but while I'd be in trouble.
I'm a king. Guinea fuck.

Speaker 1 You guinea fuck. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
You fucking pasta-eating piece of garbage.

Speaker 1 Salami. It's not good.
Yes. All right.
You branzino eating piece of garbage.

Speaker 1 Right, right. Yeah.
And And you fucking guinea bass. Look at me right now.
Say, listen, you ragu eating. You ragu eating, chef boy D, fucking moo-worshipping piece of fucking human garbage.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't care what kind of mafia you know,

Speaker 1 and he does.

Speaker 1 And he does. Oh, he does.
He's connected. Oh, shit.
Keep going. Keep going.
Hit him hard. Bring it on.
Bring it on.

Speaker 1 Those fucking MOOCs.

Speaker 1 What's MOOC? I don't even know, but that's like

Speaker 1 MOOCs out. I think that's a black thing.
Is it? Yeah, yeah. Take MOOCs out.
What? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Let's get a room vote. Google what MOOCs means.
Mook? M-O-O-K? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't think MOOC is a racial epithet. I've never.
A stupid or incompetent person.

Speaker 1 Oh, MOOC.

Speaker 1 That's it. But wait a minute.
What's the etymology of MOOC? Because just because. No.
It just is there. Fine.
I'm going to call him a MOOC. Do etymology of Mook.
Etymology.

Speaker 1 We do need to find the background because if we say some shit like MOOC, there we go, right there.

Speaker 1 Uncertain origin. Perfect.
Call him MOOC.

Speaker 1 You MOOCI MOOC bastard, right?

Speaker 1 If you fucking steal from my boy Shinlami, bro. Oh, you're in trouble.
Bro, I will fucking call everyone I know, right? And I know Yakuza. Oh, shit.
You want a war? Yeah. Italian and Yakuza? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll chop your fucking fingers off. All right, freeze from this on Bobby's face and then put the day he was born and the day he died right now.

Speaker 1 Because he knows these guys are going to kill us. All right.
Yeah, Brosato is going to kill us.

Speaker 1 Okay. That being said, don't steal our boy Sato.
Don't steal. I was just kidding.
It's a comedy podcast, and I'm gentle, and I'm a nice guy. Please don't kill me.
He was going to be sarcastic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we are. We are sarcastic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We are.
We're dead. Do you want to show us stuff?

Speaker 1 Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 Wait, but Doc, I think Doc should be...

Speaker 1 Why would you want to be a spectator?

Speaker 1 I think Doc should be the one picking the cards and being the guy.

Speaker 1 So sneak behind Bobby. Sneak behind me.

Speaker 1 And then scrouch down there. Oh, yeah.
This is fucking. I'm so excited.
Yeah, me too. So just crouch down there, Bob.

Speaker 1 No, you know what I'm going to do? What?

Speaker 1 I'm going to sit over here and watch. No, sit in your chair so we can see you on camera, please

Speaker 1 All right, here we go first you don't have to pray before he does magic on you

Speaker 5 I just show you

Speaker 1 what I do is

Speaker 1 I can I can I can I can I think I can work with him

Speaker 1 I will see he's a fucking best

Speaker 1 sit in your chair, please

Speaker 5 Allegedly

Speaker 1 I don't think I don't think it's allegedly okay Michael Jordan was allegedly the best at basketball, but you know, it's a fucking fact.

Speaker 5 So a lot of whatever I do I'm not really claiming that I do any sort of actual magic. It's sleight of hand.
It's something like this.

Speaker 5 I'm just manipulating the deck so it kind of

Speaker 5 looks like magic, but in a way, I can form even shapes like a circle, triangle, and I can even do something like this.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's a actually, that's no social life. That's what it means, actually.

Speaker 5 But here, give the deck a shuffle. Give the deck a shuffle as much as you want.
Yeah, give it a mix. Give it a mix.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 perfect.

Speaker 1 Absolutely perfect. Bro, bro, bro.
Already fucked it up.

Speaker 1 Already fucked it up. Just make sure you don't.
Just make sure you don't drop it.

Speaker 1 I have never seen that before in my life, bro.

Speaker 1 Holy fucked.

Speaker 1 That was embarrassing. That was embarrassing.

Speaker 5 It's making my life a little bit more difficult, by the way.

Speaker 1 Very shuffling. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 All right. All right, Doc.
Hand it back at some point, though.

Speaker 5 He's handing the deck and everything, right?

Speaker 1 What? Get into it. What's going to happen, Doc, is.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 5 you're going to...

Speaker 1 Can you over-hand shuffle like this without dropping the card? Okay, all right.

Speaker 5 That's going to be pretty important later on. All right, Doc, all right.

Speaker 1 All right, doc.

Speaker 5 So what's going to happen is I'm going to spread the deck. You just point to anywhere in the deck you want.
Anywhere.

Speaker 5 Alright, now. Doc, at this point, you can change your mind.
Do you want to change your mind? Are you happy?

Speaker 1 No, no, I feel it.

Speaker 5 You feel this card right here. You sure? I'll leave it out, Jog, like this.
Alright, you already examined the deck, but here,

Speaker 5 take the cards out. Take that card out.
Sorry.

Speaker 5 Yeah, the one that you examined. Show it to the camera and everyone.

Speaker 1 Here, let me see.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah. Okay.

Speaker 5 All right, remember the card? Yeah. And we didn't pre-plan any of this, did we?

Speaker 1 No. Of course.
Yeah, of course. Okay.

Speaker 5 That's fine. That's fine.

Speaker 1 Imagine these two guys knowing each other in the real world and we have no idea.

Speaker 5 I won't look at the card, but we'll place it into the deck. Now, Doc, I want you to make it.
Can you? Or if you don't want to drop the cards again, you can shuffle the cards like this.

Speaker 5 Totally up to you. Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 He's going to drop it. An easy way would be to say, please don't drop it again.
Please don't drop it again.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's like a faster, faster faster.

Speaker 5 That's a very elementary, easy way to shuffle the cards.

Speaker 1 All right. You're you're done.

Speaker 5 And here, I'm going to

Speaker 1 take off your jacket.

Speaker 5 People think I hide stuff, so I'm going to.

Speaker 1 Wait, did you hear Shin Lemmo? He goes, a very elementary way to shuffle, but don't say that word. He didn't make it through that whole thing.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 5 I'm taking my jacket off only because some people are.

Speaker 1 He shuffles like a guy with four fingers. People think I.

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Speaker 1 Or he's like a gazelle. He doesn't have anything.

Speaker 5 Are you happy with where you shuffled the cards? You're very happy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, they stayed together this time.

Speaker 1 One more. All right, all right, one more.
All right, all right, all right, all right. All right, good.

Speaker 5 You made that last choice, right?

Speaker 1 All right, okay, yeah, okay. Or that too.
Yeah, that's fine. That's fine, that too.
All right.

Speaker 5 Place it onto the table.

Speaker 5 Onto the table. Very good.
Now, dog, you shuffled all 52 playing cards, right? Right over here, all 52, until the left of just one card to the top.

Speaker 5 And you made that last-minute decision of placing one card back to the top of the deck, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 And I didn't control you the entire time, no? No. What was your card for the first time? No.

Speaker 1 You want me to tell you?

Speaker 5 Yeah, you can tell me because you're holding onto a random card at this point. It's a three or space.

Speaker 1 It's a three of three.

Speaker 5 And you shuffled that deck the entire time. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I didn't go anywhere near that deck, did I? You shuffled it. You handled it.

Speaker 1 You even dropped all the cards.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, take a look at the card in your hand right now.

Speaker 1 Take a look. Yeah.
Show it.

Speaker 1 Show it. Show it.
It ain't it. Yes,

Speaker 1 show it. Show it.
Show it. Man, that's bullshit.
How did I do it? Holy shit. Shit.
What the fuck?

Speaker 5 That's uh, maybe that's coincidence. I'll tell you.
We'll try this again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, We'll try this.

Speaker 1 We'll do that again.

Speaker 5 We'll do it again. I can do this as many times as possible.
Sometimes it's sleight of hand, right? Sometimes I can take three clips. That's not three spaces.
That's three clubs.

Speaker 5 And I can pretend to deal the card like this, right? That's called the second deal. But don't tell anyone.
All right. It's a sneaky little move that magicians do.

Speaker 5 But I'm going to do it with one hand this time. So you just say stop at any time.

Speaker 1 Anytime. Anytime you want.
No, you say the word stop, not anytime.

Speaker 5 Anytime, but anytime you right here. Doc, you want to change your mind or you happy?

Speaker 5 You happy?

Speaker 1 Yeah. You happy?

Speaker 5 Two in a row. That's uh what the hell?

Speaker 1 Oh, anything. Anything you can stop afterwards, show it.
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 Why are you doing this? Oh my god. Why are you doing this, dude? It's spiritual.
It's spiritual.

Speaker 1 It's spiritual. Dude, every time, like, have you ever seen, like, every black people at David Blaine are always like, Jesus Christ,

Speaker 1 they always got to go to God because they think he think he might be the devil.

Speaker 1 Relax, everything's fine. Relax.

Speaker 1 Here, you, you, you deal with this time.

Speaker 5 Take the deck.

Speaker 1 Should I shuffle or would you want to shuffle? No, let me. I'd rather you shuffle.
Shuffle, yeah, yeah. Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle it.
Shuffle it, shuffle it, shuffle it. Give it a mix.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shuffle it.
Overhand, shuffle like this. Yeah.
Overhand like this? Yeah, yeah, that's on. There we go.
There we go.

Speaker 5 That way we won't duck.

Speaker 1 That's how you shuffle a deck. All right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. All right.

Speaker 5 Duff, start dealing the cards into my hand.

Speaker 1 Bobby has never

Speaker 1 felt cards.

Speaker 1 Close your eyes. Close your eyes.
Close your eyes.

Speaker 5 I don't want you to feel like I'm hypnotizing you because I could do that. Just deal whenever you want.

Speaker 5 And whenever you want.

Speaker 5 Just stop whenever whenever you want. Go ahead.

Speaker 5 You sure?

Speaker 1 100%.

Speaker 5 Okay, now you can open up your eyes.

Speaker 1 Now, Doc, look.

Speaker 5 You stop right over here. This is your card, right?

Speaker 5 And this is my card over here.

Speaker 5 At this point, you're going to make a choice. And the moment you make that choice,

Speaker 1 there's no going back.

Speaker 5 It's 50-50 this time, even though you shuffled the deck.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 5 which one do you want? Your card or my card?

Speaker 1 Go ahead.

Speaker 5 Grip the edge of that card. Grip the edge of that card.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And show it to everyone.
Sure, Damn, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God!

Speaker 1 And, dog, look.

Speaker 5 If he saw to this card, that's the Queen of Spades. That's obviously.

Speaker 1 Look at your card.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Here,

Speaker 1 give me that deck.

Speaker 1 Give me that deck, Doc. Oh, my God.
Give me that deck. That's my last one, right? Give me that deck.

Speaker 5 No, this is really it. You know why, dog? This whole thing was an illusion.
This whole thing was an illusion. This three wasn't even there.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hutch!

Speaker 5 The three's not even anywhere in the deck. That was an illusion, man.
I don't know what you were.

Speaker 5 I don't really know what you were thinking. I don't think so.
I don't think the camera caught it, but that's okay.

Speaker 1 Let's give it up for Shin. Holy shit.

Speaker 1 No, no, I did catch it. I got it on my camera.
I got it. So I got it up close.

Speaker 1 I don't think I've ever.

Speaker 1 I've never seen it up that close. I've done like the Magic Castle.
Yeah, that's close up, they have up close. Yeah.
But there's like seven of us, and we're drunk.

Speaker 1 I've never been sober and been this close to watch it, which is why.

Speaker 5 It is better drunk sometimes.

Speaker 1 Well, it's way more ooh ah. Right, right, right, right.
Like the best one I ever saw was a magician that was there. He's really old.
He does upstairs in the corner. And he does.

Speaker 1 Is that what his name is? He's Hannibal.

Speaker 5 He's a bigger, a bigger guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's heavy. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. And he did one where it was in a card that someone had, a woman had picked at the table ended up in a

Speaker 1 sealed envelope on her person. Okay.
And it was, she pulled it out. How? Yeah.
Yeah, it's a

Speaker 5 easy. I can't tell you.
Is it easy?

Speaker 1 It depends. It depends on how

Speaker 1 it is. I've seen this dude, right? Mm-hmm.
Someone sign a card with their name. Yeah, that fucks me up.
And then, you know, he's doing the whole thing, right? Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 And he pulls the fucking card out of his fucking mouth. You put the card out of your mouth.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah, that's my favorite one.

Speaker 1 Smoke comes out of his fucking mouth, bro, like a fucking dragon. Wow.
Right? And he pulls out the fucking card with the signed on it. Right? I've seen another, this fool right here, bro.

Speaker 1 Don't say fool.

Speaker 1 This human that we love. This guy.
Sure. This great guy.
No fool. All right, fine.
I've seen it. There's a lot of other fools in this room.
This mook. Can I call him Mook? Sure.

Speaker 1 Right? I've seen him, right?

Speaker 1 Put a signed card, put it in an envelope, right? It disappears. And then it appears in someone's fucking water jug.
No.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 5 Yeah, that was on AGT.

Speaker 1 You can watch that one.

Speaker 1 Does anybody do gross magic? Yeah, yeah. I mean, Blaine does some of that, I would say.

Speaker 1 But then, like, could you, could it be, like, what's your, here's your card, and then, like, check your butthole, and someone could pull out of their butthole a card. Could you do that?

Speaker 5 I'm gonna be a little bit comedic, but yeah.

Speaker 1 That's what I like. I want to see that.
That'll be a good trick for you to do.

Speaker 1 Could you put a card in his butthole right now? I don't want a card in my butthole. I want to.
It's so dirty because I don't want to fuck up his cards. He has so many cards.
It'll stain his card.

Speaker 1 It'll ruin the deck. It'll ruin the deck.
I have a lot of decks.

Speaker 1 Do you have a favorite deck? Nah, not really. No, it doesn't exist.

Speaker 5 As long as it's like good quality, I can do all those fancy shuffles.

Speaker 1 Bicycle is the one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there other card companies that compete?

Speaker 5 Plenty, yeah.

Speaker 1 Cardiac question, too.

Speaker 1 Is there a moment ever when you're performing where you in your head go, I just fucked up? Oh, yeah. Really? Really? Oh, yeah.
And what do you do? How do you have to readjust?

Speaker 5 Yeah, you have to readjust and plan.

Speaker 5 And especially, you know, the ones with the music, because everything I do with the music routines is usually timed and synchronized.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 And, you know, the track, it's not like the guy could like edit halfway through the track and like stop it if I messed up.

Speaker 5 It's like from beginning to end, it's just the single track just goes through. So if I messed up any time in before a big moment or climax of the act,

Speaker 5 I have to kind of keep up and then continue going through and keep up with the music. And so it's a really weird process.

Speaker 5 It's different from music because music, if you mess up on the piano, I used to play the piano a lot. And, you know, if you mess up, you just kind of push it to the next bar.
Sure.

Speaker 5 With magic, you have to just kind of go back, fix what you made, messed up on, and then get

Speaker 5 up and catch up in time back to the music.

Speaker 1 See, like with us, we fuck up a joke on stage or something. Yeah.
I'll admit it.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah. But I'm saying, like, if you're fucking up a joke as you're telling a setup, we just roll through it and they usually never know.
Yeah. So it doesn't matter to us.

Speaker 1 It's like with you, you have to, it's registering, but you still have to make sure you're keeping up with the rest. That's fucking nuts.
That's nuts. And he, I don't know what kind of accident.

Speaker 1 You had, you fucked up your fingers, and you had to have surgery, right?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I have a scar. You can still see the scar.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. What happened? Can I see?

Speaker 1 What did you do?

Speaker 5 It was an illusion, actually. I was trying out an illusion for the first time.
Clearly, I shouldn't do that anymore.

Speaker 5 It was a crossbow act.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 It was a very dangerous act.

Speaker 1 And so it went through.

Speaker 5 No, no, no. I was actually just trying to fix one of the props and then it just got right.
I mean, because the crossbow was cocked.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Yeah, locked in.

Speaker 5 So it was, yeah, not safe.

Speaker 1 So tell me, there's like, you know, like, we judge, comics judge each other a lot. Like there's always like a material thing about like what kind of comic that you like and what material they do.

Speaker 1 Are there magicians? Do you guys, is there such thing as like a in the magician world, like a hacky trick?

Speaker 5 There's a lot, like like a gag.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or like stuff that you all know that you're like, that's fucking cheap. That's

Speaker 1 elementary shit. I think there's stuff that we would even think.
Like,

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't really know.
I think it's all impressive.

Speaker 5 Like linking rings, like stuff. That's hacky shit.
Yeah, like even like cutting a lady in half. That's kind of.

Speaker 1 That's my first thought. I thought that was...

Speaker 5 And that's what we think of, too. Like, if we see a magician doing that, we're like, come on, dude, can't you do a more advanced version of that?

Speaker 1 But the ring thing seemed kind of... That doesn't seem too hacky to me.
I see, I don't know. See, you wouldn't know that.
Like, when Darcy Oak, you know, Darcy Oak, right, from Canada, right?

Speaker 1 So when Darcy Oak, I love magic, he does the thing where he puts the pigeons in the cage, right? Yeah. And he lifts up the cage, and there's a woman there.
Yeah. Right.

Speaker 1 Is that kind of like slicing a woman in half? In terms of like, it's an illusion, right? Yeah. I mean, she's obviously sitting there the whole time.
Imagine that girl, she's not,

Speaker 1 she's not.

Speaker 1 She just appeared, she appeared from the dubs. No, no, she didn't.

Speaker 1 She's made out of the dubs. That's ridiculous.
Oh, no, it's very smart.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's an illusion.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, thank you because you almost had me.

Speaker 1 I'll be real. You almost had me.
I almost went, okay. I know.
If he wasn't here, you know, I would have got you. I know you would have.
I would have led you down that road till you believe me.

Speaker 1 So when he does that, is that hacky?

Speaker 5 Some magicians would say so.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. That's what I felt when I saw it.

Speaker 1 Even me as a layman or just a fan, there are sometimes I watch it and I go,

Speaker 1 you know, it's like, also, here's what I don't like also, is the blackboard when they do close-up magic because the blackboard, the felt on it, it just, you can tell.

Speaker 1 You know, like the blackboard, huh? Would it be better if it was a whiteboard? I could do a whiteboard. Yeah.
I can do a whiteboard. When I say,

Speaker 1 the literal board is black,

Speaker 1 it was in reference to a human being. It seems like it.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Seems like the issue was that it was a blackboard. I understand that.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 1 Do you like blackboards or whiteboards better? Whiteboards for sure. Of course.
They're so much easier to read.

Speaker 1 They're just whiteboards.

Speaker 1 I trust whiteboards. They're going to work.
Yeah, yeah. They're going to work.
Yeah. I feel blackboards

Speaker 1 are lazy.

Speaker 1 By the way, that's an ad for whiteboards. Whiteboards are going on right now.
Whiteboards. They're going to work.
They're going to work. They're going to work.

Speaker 1 Because blackboards, what they do is when they do the close-up, it's like you can hide coins and stuff because if they're felt as well, black felt, it hides onto the thing.

Speaker 1 So, it's like, we just know that I just, I don't like it. Right.
What he does, though, is I'll watch it and I go, I don't know how I did that. Do you ever work the castle or no?

Speaker 5 No, no, not yet.

Speaker 1 One day I will. Wait, wait, wait.
What do you mean? As in, like, you don't want to? No, no, no.

Speaker 5 I haven't been asked to do it. What?

Speaker 1 He's... Has his own show in Vegas now.
I know, but I'm saying, would you ever stop into LA and just go do a set there? Is Is that a thing?

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah, eventually, one of like if I have some free time, because the thing is, like, uh, when you go there, you have to go there for a week and you have to perform there for a week.

Speaker 5 And so, usually, I've never had that kind of one-week off where I'm like, yep, I can do this.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying is, like, if we pop into New York and we want to do a spot at like the set, it's like a thing. If we want to do a couple nights, you can.
I didn't know how it works there.

Speaker 1 If it's a, you have to take a residency there. Short residency.
Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But he's like the Dave Chappelle of fucking magic, right? And Dave Chappelle drops into it.

Speaker 1 I know, but he, but he, we don't, the comedy store doesn't make him do a week. No, that's, this is what I I was asking.

Speaker 1 The Comedy Magic Club should he should show up and just be like, I'm only doing one day. And whoever's on the floor doing their thing.
Yeah. Get the fuck out of here out of here.

Speaker 1 All right, let's send him a message. Yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah. Listen here, Comedy Magic Club.

Speaker 1 You don't let him do a fucking one-night one-off if he feels like

Speaker 1 a pop-in. He's a pop-in.

Speaker 1 He's a celebrity pop-in. If you don't want us to burn that place to the ground,

Speaker 1 burn it to the ground. There is a sushi restaurant above it that I would love to do.
That's so good. I love it.
Okay, so let's burn it and go get sushi. Yeah, but I don't want to build a whole.

Speaker 1 Aren't they attached to the buildings or not? It's above it. They have a sushi place at the castle? No, up above.
No, it's above it. It's a little above it, yeah.
Really? It's really good. Yamashiro.

Speaker 1 Yamashiro. If you go up the hill, there's a nice sushi place above.

Speaker 1 Bobby, is this the same magician that you and Steve cried on? Is that the same dude? What cried? You cried on him? What is that?

Speaker 1 Remember, you and Steve was watching some do magic, and you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That was

Speaker 1 in and of itself. Yes.
Yeah, yeah. What's his name?

Speaker 1 He's doing Neil Brennan's show right now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you like that?

Speaker 5 Did you watch that? It's so inspiring.

Speaker 1 It's so good.

Speaker 5 He actually inspired my show in Vegas. Wow.
Yeah, yeah, when I watched it. Because I never got to see it live.

Speaker 5 But I watched it on Hulu, actually.

Speaker 1 It moved me. Derek Delgado.

Speaker 1 My brother and I. I cried.
I cried.

Speaker 1 You told me to watch it. I absolutely cried.
You called me crying. I did.
So yeah, you have to see this.

Speaker 1 It's incredible. It fucking moved my heart.

Speaker 1 I mean, and by the way, I've had people like, no, I didn't really like it. I'm like, you're a fucking iceberg.
I don't trust those people. No.
Yeah, yeah. We don't hang out.
You're a piece of shit.

Speaker 5 Yeah, because they thought it was going to be like a magic, magic show. You know, they expected

Speaker 1 it to be. This was intellectual magic.
It was very deep.

Speaker 1 It was an emotional magic. That's what I'm saying.
But it was also

Speaker 1 your brain was active the whole time. It wasn't like, it wasn't like sit back.

Speaker 1 You were actively, my mind was going, oh, that's, I feel that way about these things, about these things, you know? So

Speaker 1 if you have Hulu, watch in and of itself. It's amazing.
It's fucking incredible. But if you're in Vegas, where is your residency at?

Speaker 5 At the Mirage.

Speaker 1 Ooh, and what a name. The Mirage.

Speaker 1 Isn't the Mirage one of the biggest places?

Speaker 5 Where's Sick Freedom World?

Speaker 1 It's fucking huge.

Speaker 1 Fucking 645!

Speaker 1 Fucking lion taming fuckers. They're dead.
Yeah. One of them got bit.
Well, what are you going to do? Right.

Speaker 1 You play with fire. You're going to get it.

Speaker 1 Exactly, dude. It's like.
Wait, he died, right?

Speaker 5 Both of them passed away, yeah. And during

Speaker 5 during COVID.

Speaker 1 No, they got COVID or no?

Speaker 1 Did one of them? The lion had one of them. And it bit him, and he got COVID from the lion.
Yeah. That's That's true.
The COVID had lion. Because with my lions, I social distance.

Speaker 1 Your lions are out in the background. Yeah, you're there in the backyard, but we have a distance thing, right? And they're vaccinated.
They're fully vaccinated. Wait, who got bit? Siegfried or Roy?

Speaker 1 I think it was Roy that got. So Roy got bit, but Siegfried died of just regular life.
That sticks.

Speaker 1 That sticks. Anyway, go see Shin Lim at the Mirage.
Yeah, yeah. And there's no lions.
Can I throw just a really quick thing? Yeah. Is Joe Coy used to shovel

Speaker 1 that tiger shit at Mirage when I met him? No way. Yeah.
So when he was a kid and I was a kid, we met at an open 1995.

Speaker 1 We met at the comedy store in La Jolla. We were both open micers.
And he goes, he had hair at the time. He goes, hey, I shoveled tiger shit.
You know what I mean? In Vegas, you should come hang out.

Speaker 1 So I drove to Vegas. Just to shovel shit.
No, he did, I did open mics in Vegas with him, but I stayed in his fucking, he had this little apartment, right? And he would do that.

Speaker 1 He'd wear the outfit and

Speaker 1 shovel tiger shit. Dude, that dude's come a long fucking way.
Dude. He used to work at the bank.
Yeah. He used to to work at the bank in Century City

Speaker 1 and was a teller for a long time. And then after that, he'd,

Speaker 1 somebody told me he worked somewhere else that I did. I was like, God, Joe Coy, he went from that to selling out fucking arenas.
Did you, like, like you're.

Speaker 1 He's in Vegas, too, right? Joe Coy performs in Vegas. Yeah, sometimes you do.
Well, he does big theaters after.

Speaker 1 So how many seats are in the theater you perform?

Speaker 5 1,300. Fuck off.

Speaker 1 And how many shows do you have to do? All of them.

Speaker 5 Five shows. a week.
Yeah, we're dark Tuesday, Wednesdays.

Speaker 1 Five shows a week. Yeah.
And

Speaker 5 you're very very lucky to be to still be performing.

Speaker 1 So it's no, you deserve it. Don't do that show.
You deserve it. Don't do that.
You know, really, because Vegas is like pretty, pretty rough.

Speaker 1 Some people should feel lucky to be there.

Speaker 1 They're lucky to have you. Big difference.
Yeah, they don't have the TV coverage you do. Yeah.
Are you his manager? No, a publicist. You're a publicist? Yeah.
Hi.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to say. How much of a publicity nightmare would he be? A nightmare.
Nightmare. Yeah, nightmare.

Speaker 1 The mook thing. He'd be like, no, no, no.
I know. That's why I don't have a pop-assist.
No, I know me neither. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They always sweat. They go, oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 We could get you on Wendy Williams, maybe?

Speaker 1 Even then, it would be tough.

Speaker 1 This next crazy fucking Asian team.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 if I'm,

Speaker 1 here's the deal. Because I know that

Speaker 1 Penn and Teller want me to go to do their show. They want me to do their show.

Speaker 1 So if we do a trip out to Vegas when when you're doing your show could we come to your show for free yeah just letting you know like no can can we we do we should pay no no no no no no I want you guys to I want best seats I want I want I want to pay I want to pay I want Bobby to pay is what I'm saying

Speaker 1 no I don't want to pay at all right and I want backstage yeah we're going backstage yeah it just is a meeting great what

Speaker 1 you don't get to go you don't you don't get to go you piece of shit no you fucked up today you don't get to go get to go wait a minute let me ask you this so this is an inside baseball question for like when we have fans that come backstage or I mean uh, friends that come backstage, do you prefer people pre-show or post-show?

Speaker 1 Post-show, post-show, right? See, that's the same thing with us. It's like people always want to come backstage, and you're like, Please don't come back here.

Speaker 1 Because they're like, We're here early, can we come say hi? And you're like, No, I hate it. But people don't know that's like a weird rule that, like, perform they just think, Who cares?

Speaker 1 You're gonna go do the show, and you're like, dude, don't come back here, please. It bothers me so much.
And even after the show, do you need some cool-down time? Not at all. So, you're good.

Speaker 1 Coming up. Okay, you're good.
Wow, yeah. That's awesome.
Can I ask one last question? Sorry.

Speaker 1 Ask everything that you want because he's got to go.

Speaker 1 Okay, so

Speaker 1 do you get nervous

Speaker 1 every show or no? No, no, no, no. Okay, good.

Speaker 1 You have it on lockdown. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 It's a pretty solid show.

Speaker 5 But if I do that thing with the music that I was talking about, when there is a mistake that happens, whether it was sleight of hand, it doesn't even, it can be anything really.

Speaker 5 And that's when you start to get nervous because I have to think in my head, how am I going to keep up and get to that point to fix it?

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's the part.
So it's more, that's not, that's not as nervous as much as it is like anxiety to get it right, yeah.

Speaker 5 And then uh, hands start sweating, and then if I keep messing up even more, then I get real nervous because I've had to stop an entire act once before, really, where I genuinely lost the card.

Speaker 5 I actually couldn't, it was on Broadway, it was very embarrassing.

Speaker 5 I lost the card and I couldn't find it, and I was like spending, and I, it was already like two minutes into my track, and I was like, There's no way I'm gonna be able to

Speaker 1 what do you do then? Yeah, I had to stop.

Speaker 5 I was like, Hey, guys, uh, it looks like I'm not that good, so uh, peace out.

Speaker 5 And I just walked off stage, And luckily, it was with there was a troop of magicians. So the next guy just came in.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 does this moment happen? You're backstage, you're bombed, and another magician sits next to you. Hey, kid,

Speaker 1 did somebody talk you out of it?

Speaker 5 Probably in a sarcastic manner.

Speaker 1 They're like, hey, man, it's okay. It happens all the time.

Speaker 1 Hey, it didn't look that bad. Yeah, yeah.
Something like that. Yeah.
Oh, by the way, the card's here. And they have it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that.
That would be real sassy.

Speaker 1 That's what a couple of

Speaker 1 people are.

Speaker 1 So that is funny to think about that. It's like the biggest pressure you face now because you're so comfortable with what you do is if the timing is off.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's fucking. This is a good, like

Speaker 1 a narrative show idea about just magicians and what happens backstage and their relationships. Well, I think he can tell you some of them are very weird.

Speaker 1 Very weird. What do you mean? They are weird.
Some of those guys would not be good on camera. You're like, hey, what's going on? And he's like, no, no, no.
No, we cast a show. Actors.

Speaker 1 No, I want to see the real deal, Holyfield. We'll do a reality show, but I just think that a narrative show would be fun.
Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, forget it then. Yeah, it's a pass.
But you're not a fucking executive. Thanks for coming to the meeting.
We appreciate it. Fuck.
All right.

Speaker 1 Bobby, since you gave the wonderful intro, you have to do a nice exit. And we want to, first of all, we want to say, as Bad Friends family, thank you so much for coming.
It means a lot to us.

Speaker 1 Cards, cards, cards. It means a lot to us that you came here.
We're very happy to check. Dude, first of all, I want to say this.
We never have guests. We don't.
No, we don't. Ever.
Never. Ever.

Speaker 1 I mean, we could have great ones.

Speaker 1 But it's an exclusive thing. Yeah.
This is a special thing. Big time.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 that's that. That's a fact.
That's a fact. That's a fact.
And we thank you and we

Speaker 1 do the ending? Yeah, do it. Do it.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's it.

Speaker 1 That was amazing. So, by the way, we want to talk, we want to have a little meeting.

Speaker 1 We want to have an intervention real fast. To who? To Jules.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you know what? It's about body posture.
It's about body language. It's about the way she is on this show.

Speaker 1 And we had an expert talk about Jules's body language. Check this out.

Speaker 1 Analyst. Hi, fellas.

Speaker 6 I'm Scott Rouse, and I'm a body language expert and analyst, and I train law enforcement in the military in interrogation and body language. And Andrew, you're right.

Speaker 6 Rudy's facial expressions aren't real. And I'm going to show you by breaking them down very quickly from a scientific perspective why you're right.
Let's look at this clip.

Speaker 1 Put on a happy face.

Speaker 6 When someone really smiles, it's called a Duchesne smile after Duchesne de Bologna. He's a French fellow back in the late 1800s.

Speaker 6 And one of the first things he found out about that was that when someone smiles, you see little wrinkles just right at the edges of the eyes.

Speaker 6 Right, in your eyes, not squinted wrinkles, because anybody can do that. Yeah, but it's the wrinkles made when your brain actually makes them happen.
Now, here's the difference: if we were to squint,

Speaker 6 the sides of our eyes would come together like this, they would come straight down. But when your brain does it, they come at an angle, like you know, almost like this, like that.

Speaker 6 We're not seeing that here at all.

Speaker 1 We're only sitting and squinting.

Speaker 1 I knew it was there. So, thank you.

Speaker 1 Fake smile.

Speaker 1 It's not a machine smile. It's a real smile.

Speaker 1 Pause it. Put on a sad face.

Speaker 1 Do you have any response to this before we move on to sad?

Speaker 4 I think it was a real smile.

Speaker 1 All right, well, give us one more real smile into the camera.

Speaker 1 I can't see any wrinkles on the bottom.

Speaker 1 No, the brain didn't do it. She's never smiled before in our lives.
Now,

Speaker 1 let's see the other one. Let's see this.
This is a sad face.

Speaker 6 Her expression of sadness is fake as well.

Speaker 1 Here's how you know.

Speaker 6 When somebody's really sad and they're grieving and they feel sadness, you'll see an upside-down horseshoe almost.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, that's what I do all the time.

Speaker 6 That might be called a grief muscle. We're not seeing that here at all, not even a little bit.
As well, we don't see a little thing in a little muscle right here called the chin boss.

Speaker 6 We don't see that. It's a little wrinkle that happens right in here.
Pause it. We're seeing nothing.

Speaker 1 Fake. Fake.
Maybe because my face is young.

Speaker 1 That's a shot at us.

Speaker 1 That's a shot at us. That's a shot.
The grief muscle and the sad bone. What was this called? What was the chin one called? Yeah, yeah.
Go back. What's the chin one called?

Speaker 1 He He says it two seconds before.

Speaker 6 Muscle right here.

Speaker 1 Muscle right here.

Speaker 1 No, he's chin boss. You don't see that.
Chin boss. Chin boss.
So listen here. You've got no chin boss.
You've got no grief muscle. No grief muscle.
By the way, that's our next nick's names.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm grief muscle, your chin boss.

Speaker 1 Because chin boss does sound like that on the boss. No, no, no, that's good.
I feel that.

Speaker 6 You don't feel it?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, let's play. Let's play more.
So we called her out fake smile.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 Fake smile, fake sadness.

Speaker 1 Keep going.

Speaker 6 This guy's guy's no sad. Notice that she's really sad from a scientific perspective.

Speaker 1 Put on an angry face.

Speaker 6 Her expression of anger is false as well. That's how we know.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 6 When someone's really angry with you, most people are under the impression you'll squint your eyes and you're like, oh, I'm mad at you. They do squint their eyes.

Speaker 6 However, when somebody's really mad at you, when they're going to come over the table at you or swing at you, Andrew, you'll know this. You fought a lot as a kid.

Speaker 6 What you'll see is their eyes will squint, but they'll get a little wide and they're like that. This one gives them that crazy look because they're actually angry.

Speaker 6 So when someone squints their eyes and they're hollering at you, eh, they're probably upset, but they're not really that angry with you.

Speaker 6 When those eyes, they start to get big in there while they're squinting at the same time, that's when you're going to have a problem with them. We're not seeing that here.

Speaker 6 We're also not seeing the eyebrows being knitted the way they're supposed to be. And by that, I mean being pulled together correctly.

Speaker 6 She's frowning, pretty much.

Speaker 1 That's what you see.

Speaker 6 And overall, the expression is disgust. She's under the impression that when you show your teeth, that you're showing anger.
Not here, because these little parts of the face right here are pulling up.

Speaker 6 And what's happening there is it's showing what was denoted as, and what we know as disgust. That's what we're seeing there because her nose is wrinkled.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Nose doesn't wrinkle that much when you get angry, especially as much as we're seeing in this clip. So

Speaker 6 we're not seeing anything real here. Nothing.

Speaker 1 She's showing us fake happiness, fake fake sadness, fake, and fake anger.

Speaker 1 Good call. Put on a happy face.

Speaker 1 Put on a sad face.

Speaker 1 Ugh. Fake.
Put on an angry face.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Phony bologna.
Phony bologna. Thank you.
Thank you, David. No, I want to thank you.
I want to thank you, too. You know why? Why? I have to live with this faker.
Phony.

Speaker 1 You have to live with this bonus. 24-7.
And we had a professional analyze it.

Speaker 1 He's a professional. It's the top of the line.
Yep. Right? It's science fiction.
What do you got to say for yourself, you phony?

Speaker 4 I guess I'll just believe him.

Speaker 1 You're not going to defend your favorite.

Speaker 1 You're not even going to say, no, that's not true. I'm not faking it?

Speaker 4 No, I'll try to change.

Speaker 1 I don't buy that. I don't buy it either.
Do we have to send him that clip of

Speaker 1 his fucking fake? Fake sincerity.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Everything's just talk about it.

Speaker 1 Do you feel anything?

Speaker 1 I feel.

Speaker 1 When is the last time you really felt?

Speaker 4 Last night.

Speaker 1 What happened?

Speaker 4 The foster dog had to go somewhere else, so I cried.

Speaker 1 It's only the dogs. She doesn't feel for anything but the dogs.
Not about you. Never about me.
Not about Kalila. Yeah, about her, maybe.
But even still, that might be contrived as well. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's all dog stuff.

Speaker 1 It's all dog stuff. Fucking fake.
You don't feel anything for Bobby at all.

Speaker 4 No, I feel love for Tito Bobby.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but is it love because you're supposed to? Because he's paying for the rent.

Speaker 4 No, because

Speaker 4 he's kind.

Speaker 1 I don't buy it. He's He's sweet.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you buy any of this shit? Kind of. Sweet, bro.

Speaker 1 I'm about to cry. Sweet, though? I'm about to cry right now.
Sweet? Yeah, yeah. Tell me something.
Tell me more.

Speaker 1 Tell me more.

Speaker 1 No, see, she rolled her eyes. She did the Santino.

Speaker 1 That's me. Tell me more.

Speaker 4 You're funny.

Speaker 1 Now I know she's lying.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 Ouch.

Speaker 1 I'm more than those. Take it away, Doc.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 How was the magic? Did you feel good about the magic on you? Oh, man.

Speaker 1 I didn't even get to welcome him because he'd been in America how long?

Speaker 1 He lives here. He's born.
Fuck. What do you mean? Bro, he's not from China.
He's not. Do you think he thought he was? Do you think he was Chinese?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I thought he was flying in.

Speaker 1 God damn. I didn't did it again, bro.

Speaker 1 Fuck. I'm horrible at this.
I'm going to swear to God. Wait, Doc,

Speaker 1 tell me. Wait, hold on, hold on.

Speaker 1 Hold on, hold on.

Speaker 1 Where do you think he came from? Just tell me what you think. You thought Shinlim came from Thailand.
Thailand.

Speaker 1 When, today? Thailand. I did see.
She went there. Same place that he thought she was from the camp.
She was from or something.

Speaker 1 Oh, you think she's Thai?

Speaker 1 I thought she was. She thought she was.
Reverse. Yeah.
Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that wasn't. Do you know what she is now? Yeah.
What?

Speaker 1 What is she? Which one? Manny Packy. Pacquiao.
I don't remember that. Oh, yeah, I feel it.
I feel it. I don't know.
By the way, you thought Shin Lim came from the city.

Speaker 1 So you didn't make y'all. Shin came in from Thailand.
She went from Thailand. For the show.
From the show. Yeah, I thought he was just like from out of the country.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because you said you filmed in Hungary. He went out from Hungary, right? You don't listen, dude.
You said you filmed a movie. I filmed a movie in Hungary with Penn Jillette.
Right.

Speaker 1 And we talked about Shinlim. So he's from here, but y'all did a movie in Hungary.
Yeah, but no. Shin Lim wasn't in the movie.
Shin Lim wasn't in the movie. Penjillette another magician.

Speaker 1 We talked about. You knew Penjulet is?

Speaker 1 No. Have you heard of Pennant Heller?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 See, this is my point, though. There's not enough black magicians to get young black people into magic.

Speaker 1 And that's a big disparity that I'm concerned about. Stop.
Y'all ruined it after

Speaker 1 David Blaine. That was David Blaine's not black.

Speaker 1 That was there, though. Can I just say something? Do you claim him, though? I wanted to, but you just

Speaker 1 made it in part. Russian Jewish and something I was like, dude, Russian Jewish.
Pennant Heller isn't. Oh, black magic.
Is that where that comes from?

Speaker 1 Black magic referred to the use of supernatural powers for magic or evil, selfish purposes. Yeah, that's a whole nother fucking thing.
Is that why there's no black magicians because of black magic?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's voodoo. Can we just do like a recap? Because I'm just even trying to fathom what the fuck this guy's talking about.
By the way, your name should be Black Magic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, that would be a good idea. That's so cool names.
What you're saying is that you thought that Shin Lineman

Speaker 1 filmed in Hungary.

Speaker 1 So he flew from Thailand to Hungary. We shot together.
No, you flew from here and met him in Hungary. Yeah.
And he flew from Thailand and and met you crazy. Right, right.

Speaker 1 And then you think that he lives in Thailand. You thought he lived in Thailand.
Well, I thought he was from

Speaker 1 because you know, they speak a little English. Wait a minute, is that the Phillips? Y'all speak English, right? Fuck it.
Man, I don't know shit.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 You know, man, I'll be trying to connect, but I don't. But Doc,

Speaker 1 but Doc, Doc, when you see an Asian guy,

Speaker 1 did you think that Shin Lim had an Asian accent?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Right. So, in your head,

Speaker 1 right? Oh, I get what you're saying now.

Speaker 1 I get it now. Yeah.
Do you? No, I don't think he does. I don't think he does.

Speaker 1 I don't, yeah. Where does Shinlim live? Right now?

Speaker 1 Well, y'all said in the States, right? Yeah, but where? We said it on the fucking show.

Speaker 1 Damn, bro. Were you here at the show? I was here, dude.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Did y'all actually say where he was from? Yeah. Well,

Speaker 1 we said he was originally from. I knew him from where? He was originally from.

Speaker 1 I said Boston, right? Boston. And then I said, and I said, but you were born in.
Yeah, he was born in Canada. Born in Canada.
Yeah, is let me ask you this, right? It was the pressure.

Speaker 1 Is Thailand in Canada? No. So why would you say that? Are you sure? Then are you sure? Hell yeah, no, no.
Then why would you think that he was from Thailand?

Speaker 1 You know, man, I was just trying to pick a good Asian country, bro.

Speaker 1 Right, right, right, right, right, right. You know what I'm saying? It's a good Asian country.
It is a pretty good one.

Speaker 1 To be fair, you know what I'm saying? So, did you, how did you feel about the magic?

Speaker 1 You know that it's a, it's not real. Do you think it's real magic or you think it's

Speaker 1 his hands are so fast? Man, I mean, his hands got to be fast.

Speaker 1 I don't know to believe in magic, but that shit had me spooked by it. So you don't believe in magic? Nah.
Right. So you think that was what?

Speaker 1 What they call a sleight of hand or some shit like that?

Speaker 1 That is some shit. I can't explain how he did it.
Right.

Speaker 1 So maybe that was magic.

Speaker 1 Man, y'all up here. Y'all bringing some magic.
Oh, you see, yeah, I see.

Speaker 1 Y'all

Speaker 1 Why are you bringing the starters in here, man?

Speaker 1 Because he thinks

Speaker 1 that's the devil. He thinks the devil's in the room.
Now, do you realize you're sitting in the devil's chair? He was in that chair.

Speaker 1 You know, that's why I did the whole. See, he feels he needs to bless out.
Yeah, that's that. See, I know.
Culture. Remember that?

Speaker 1 He needs to bless out because he's nervous about catching some devil shit. Can we do? I have a segment that I want to do with him real quick.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Doc's pussy update. Oh, Doc's Pussy Update.
What's going on? Nothing. Same on, same old.

Speaker 1 The fans want to know. Knee dipping it? Fans, I'm out here just lonely than a motherfucker.
Did we start a Tinder? Ladies,

Speaker 1 if you want this guy, you know, hit me up. You know what I'm saying? I'm on the Twitter.
Didn't y'all do me a Tinder or Twitter? What did y'all do? Yeah, yeah, the Tinder. We did a Twitter Tinder.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's only on Twitter. Did we do a Tinder for him? We did, right?

Speaker 1 Did we land anything?

Speaker 1 Only dudes. Only dudes.

Speaker 1 Only dudes. We did apply.

Speaker 1 Is it Tinder or y'all put me on Grinder? No, Tinder, but the the settings we set to Only Dudes. There it is.

Speaker 1 So you are landing. How many guys?

Speaker 1 Hopefully.

Speaker 1 Three guys. Three guys, dude.
Not bad. Any interest? Any interest? None at all.
Yeah. That's selfish.

Speaker 1 That's pretty selfish. Cold to the heart.
Do you really believe that the devil is a real thing? Yeah, I feel something like that. Do you think he's part of the devil? Who?

Speaker 1 No, no, no. He is a good dude, man.
You don't think there's any devil in him? Nah, man. He got that energy.
Like,

Speaker 1 a little bit of Lord there. I feel it.
You don't feel it? No,

Speaker 1 this is on your own. I'm being on a positive vibe.
I'm trying to

Speaker 1 feel that shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, Doc. Okay.
I mean, you know what, Doc? What's that, please?

Speaker 1 Let's say something positive about the guy. About Doc? Yeah.
But we always say something positive. I love Doc.
We've been trying to get you on the other podcasts before this one.

Speaker 1 You weren't available. Right.
Right. I'm glad that you're here.
Okay.

Speaker 1 You know, when you're here, it literally makes me feel like I'm literally baffled about what you do and don't know and how you think about things, right? And how you don't retain information.

Speaker 1 And it really makes you feel mysterious, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you are mysterious. Very mysterious.

Speaker 1 That's what it is. But it makes

Speaker 1 me giggle.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Do you live with people? By myself, dog.
Where? Yeah, down the street. I told you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where?

Speaker 1 Close to here? I am the. You ever watch Martin?

Speaker 1 I am the Tommy of this podcast. You are Tommy.
I am the Tommy of this podcast.

Speaker 1 And I'm Gina. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Martin.
And he's Shanene.

Speaker 1 I'm Martin. You're 100% Shanayane.

Speaker 1 You're 100% Shanene. No, you're Cole.
Yeah, you're Cole. Oh, my God.
Yeah, you are. You don't even know who Cole is.
No, he didn't watch this show. No, he didn't watch this show.

Speaker 1 Have you ever seen any black shows? I saw The Wire.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
I'll give that to you partially.

Speaker 1 But I mean, did you ever see like The Jeffersons? Did you ever watch The Jeffersons? There was a Jeffersons. You did? Oh, my God.
That's one of my favorite. It was so good.

Speaker 1 I remember watching as a kid Good Times. Good Times is a good show.
Jeffersons. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Different strokes. Cosby.
Cosby. Yeah, yeah.
Loved Cosby's show. Why did you cut your eyes when you said different strokes? I just want to know how.
I know you loved it. Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I know that you love Cosby Stroke. Was that an inspiration at all? Yeah, to you.

Speaker 1 I mean, when you see another little dude, you know, fucking feel good in your heart. Hell yeah.
Just make it a little bit different. That's like me with Andy Griffith.

Speaker 1 When I saw Opie doing it, I thought I could do it. You know what? You said you were Italian.
I thought you were

Speaker 1 Irish. See, yeah.

Speaker 1 Let me ask you this, Doc. I'm both.
How tall was your dad?

Speaker 1 Six, five, seven. How tall is that? I was about to make such an easy four.

Speaker 1 Five, five, right? And you're five, three? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So do you think watching different strokes

Speaker 1 and you're looking at this guy, right? Yeah. Do you think you willed the way you look now?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Like you made it happen. You made it happen.
The way I look?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fuck it. I don't even understand the question.
Okay, did you eat vitamins growing? I mean, what happened? Oh, you're talking about how little I am.

Speaker 1 Yeah, shit. No, I ain't eat no vitamins, man.
I think that's the problem. You think so? Yeah, yeah.
But you little, too. What the fuck happened? Did you eat vitamins?

Speaker 1 I'm almost 6'2. I ate a fucking vitamins.

Speaker 1 My mom

Speaker 1 is 5'

Speaker 1 and my dad was like 4'9.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right, so I'm 5'3.

Speaker 1 You're a giant. I'm a giant.
His parents are taller, right? Yeah. So I ate my vitamins.
You ate some, yeah. That's for sure.
For sure. You nibbled a little bit.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 Did they have Fringstone vitamins? Did you have French ones?

Speaker 1 We had Flintstones, not French Stones. Well, you know,

Speaker 1 the way my parents. Yeah, French.
Connect it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Raba Rabbadou.
Rabba Raba. Raba Raba Doo.
Raba Raba Doo. Right?

Speaker 1 Raba Rabadou. Yeah, Frinstone vitamins.
Because I used to watch the translation of the Flintstones, right? And they would go, Raba, Raba Doo. Right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Bonnie. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You have to.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But the vehicle was different. It was more of a rickshaw.

Speaker 1 So you go, Raba, Rabbadoo, right? And do the rickshaw.

Speaker 1 Did you watch Asian Simpsons?

Speaker 1 You know, can I be honest with you? What, you've never seen Simpsons? I've never seen an episode of Simpsons. Yeah, it's out of my house.
Are you for real? Yeah, never. Such a fucking good show.

Speaker 1 Yeah, never seen it. Ita my shots.
I would have loved to see an Asian Bart. That would have been fucking funny as shit.
Yeah, yeah. Kawabunga Duda.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Roba Rama Dude.

Speaker 1 Holy shit, is that funny to me? Yeah. Franstone, vitamin.

Speaker 1 So, Doug, I go to the spa at night sometimes.

Speaker 1 You know, would you go to the spa with me? Korean spa? Yeah, yeah. You'd think you're completely naked.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I know, but I feel like you'd be uncomfortable about that. Around you, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to slap ass, bro. Yeah, but I just.
I know, but would you go? Because I brought. No, I mean, be honest with you.
Two dudes naked? That's not. I go with Ian Edwards sometimes.

Speaker 1 That's you and Ian. Y'all got that connection.
Yeah, but you wouldn't go with us. There it is.

Speaker 1 Why, though? Because... That's the answer right there.
I know, but why? Why, though, that's offensive to me. I feel like he doesn't have to be a sensitive person.

Speaker 1 That's an offensive to say you shouldn't be. Yeah, yeah.
You're just a little sensitive, that's all. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You're afraid to be around another man naked. I just don't.
You don't do it. Did you ever shower in sports? Yeah, all the time.
That's an easy thing. You go to the YMCA and shower.

Speaker 1 Well, why don't you guys go play with

Speaker 1 a sport and then we'll do a sportsman? And then you go to the bank. But why do we gotta go somewhere naked? That's what you should do.
Because a spa in the spot.

Speaker 1 In the Korean spot I go, everyone's naked. That's all.
You could wear shorts, I guess. Fuck.
At a Korean spot. What kind of weird shit is that? What are they on over there? Where everybody just.

Speaker 1 This fucking guy.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Bro. Oh, you know what I mean? I was in in a steam room in Germany once.

Speaker 1 Not only was I naked, the steam room, everyone's, and it's men and women. You're supposed to have a towel on.
No. No.
So you're just dingling, just walking through the business.

Speaker 1 I'm not fucking self-conscious about my body. No, no, it's not.
It's not about that. It's just.
It's about what? It's about respect of space. Yeah, I'm not going to touch you.

Speaker 1 I'm not a nudity type of dude. Oh, what are you going to do? That's fine.

Speaker 1 Well, you know what? We had a great day.

Speaker 1 Ladies.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Okay, well. we're on.
Wait a minute. You just told us you didn't get any ladies late.

Speaker 1 You have nothing to report about women.

Speaker 1 Nothing. I have nothing.
Have you been on a date since we saw you? Oh, man. I've been working, and that's it.
You keep saying that.

Speaker 1 You know, we've been working too. You can work and also still have something else.
I am by myself, my boy. Something's going on.

Speaker 1 Something's going on with you. I hope on the next time that we see you on the show, which is going to be a while, I hope that...
Well, no, it's just because

Speaker 1 we're gone. Oh, yeah, we're gone for three.

Speaker 1 But I hope that a lady comes into your life. And next time Shin Lim comes, which will be never again.
Okay. Don't fuck up the cards.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 But that was funny.

Speaker 1 It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Ever seen? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right. Well, take us out.
Yo, Doc, I love you to death. You're the best in the world.

Speaker 1 Look in that camera to the right, you know, and then hit us with the thank you for being a bad friend. Hard

Speaker 5 for being a bad friend. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're not a leader, I'll tell you that. You're not a fucking leader.
I just made you do that, you follower bitch. I'm a fucking you did.

Speaker 1 That fits nice.

Speaker 1 How many times do you think you've knocked that off the wall?

Speaker 1 30?

Speaker 1 I like that Cyro shirt.

Speaker 1 You're the leader, then. I'm the leader of the podcast.
You really think so? Yeah. Oh, interesting.

Speaker 1 Bad friends featuring Andrew Santino and Rudy Jules and Bobby Lee. I love the way that you put your name first in everything that we do.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you think you're. I think it goes, not only does it go by leadership roles in the podcast, it also goes by effort and ability.

Speaker 1 Oh. It's effort, ability, and likeability.
Effort, ability, likability. Right.
So the likability part, I think I got you beaten. No, no, you don't.
Oh, 100%, dude.

Speaker 1 It's so fucking blasphemous that you would say something like that. At this point, this many episodes, I think the guests, the guests, I think the fans see through your

Speaker 1 fans see through your bullshit. I think they know Mr.
OCD here. What the fuck are you doing, dude?

Speaker 1 He's got Tourette's. Dude, I almost pulled a Christian Bale just now.
I went crazy on this. Oh, he should have done it.
I should have done that. Yeah.
Come back. Don't get in my shot.

Speaker 1 Is that what he did? He goes, good for you. Good for you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I thought it was fake.
Didn't you think it was fake the whole time? Also, he says stuff in the Christian Bale thing where he says, like, you know what, man? I'm not going to work with you.

Speaker 1 I'll hang out with you, but I won't work with you. Does this say something like that? I totally agree with that statement.
You do? There's people that I've worked with. They don't hang out, though.

Speaker 1 You don't hang out with the DP or anything like that, do you? I think it was a grip or something like that. Yeah, do you hang out? I mean.
Do I hang out with the crew? You better believe it.

Speaker 1 The cameramen. You go out with the cameramen, have dinner.
The ACs, I go out with everybody. Yeah,

Speaker 1 if there's a function, like for me. No.
Just listen to one of my mom. I go out.
Sometimes when I'm on Magnum, right?

Speaker 1 The Mexican guy, what's his name? The guy plays Magnum. Jay Hernandez.
Yes. So I love him.
Really talented.

Speaker 1 I know his name. So sometimes I'll go, hey, man, you know what I mean? We're going to go to my house.
Or I rent out a cabana, this and that. And then like wardrobe and people will show up, right?

Speaker 1 And I'll do those things. Sure.
But I don't text a cameraman and goes, hey, you want to have lunch at two? Do you do that?

Speaker 1 All the time.

Speaker 1 I text grips. I text.
It's so,

Speaker 1 you're such a liar. PAs.
I'll text PAs to go eat lunch, production assistants. Are you being real? In the office, not even on set.

Speaker 1 Like a production, like accounting assistant. I can see writer.
I'll go out with a right. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I go out with those that are getting paid the least.
Have you ever had

Speaker 1 lunch with Pete? Huh? Have you ever had lunch with Pete?

Speaker 1 Well, first of all, we're talking about.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 First of all,

Speaker 1 you're talking about shows that I'm on. This is a show? It's not a show.
Yeah, if you say...

Speaker 1 This is a charade. It's a charade, but it's still a show.
It is. And I want to say this.
When you Google my name, right? And it gives me the credits of what I've done under TV shows and movies.

Speaker 1 It says shit. Bad friend.
So that's number one. Number one is shit.
Number two, it says Tiger Belly and then Bad Friends as a TV show. So what I'm saying is

Speaker 1 have you fucking ever had lunch with fucking Melting Candle Pete?

Speaker 1 I've had lunch with Andres. Yeah, but not Pete.
And that's how I know you're lying. With Andres.
Have I had lunch with you, Andres?

Speaker 1 Yes, we have. You're closer.
Yeah, but Andre's a producer. So is Pete.
What the fuck do you think Pete is? He's just not a guy. He's

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Rated T for Team.