Squid Game Fight ft Steebee Weebee & Doc

Speaker 1 Hi,

Speaker 1 I'm

Speaker 2 Rudy and welcome to Bad Friends.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 2 our guests for today

Speaker 1 are

Speaker 2 Koya Steve

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 Doc.

Speaker 1 Good job. Good job.
I like that.

Speaker 1 Nice and foremost. You're very...

Speaker 1 Did you feel her piece? Okay.

Speaker 2 That's it.

Speaker 1 Back to Timario.

Speaker 1 You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 You two are something. We're bad friends.
I don't want to say that. He's a man.
No. You're a man.

Speaker 1 You both breathe shit.

Speaker 3 You know what I mean? He's a half a man.

Speaker 1 He's a full man.

Speaker 1 That's a full man. That's absolutely Bobby on the bottom.

Speaker 3 Absolutely not. That's a full man.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And respect it.

Speaker 3 Respect him. Where are you from, Doc?

Speaker 1 Chicago? Detroit. Detroit.
You don't even know. Stop.

Speaker 1 Hold up.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Respect me. You say me of Detroit.

Speaker 4 Okay. You know how sometimes

Speaker 4 people are born with an underdeveloped Siamese twin?

Speaker 3 Think about what you're about to say, Doc.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 3 I want you to think about it.

Speaker 1 Steve, think about it. Say what my point is.
Go ahead.

Speaker 4 You know, some people are born with an underdeveloped Siamese twin.

Speaker 4 Right? So it's like they're not really alive, but like there's a face on their side or whatever, or there's half a brother sticking out of their body and stuff.

Speaker 1 That's Shaquille.

Speaker 4 Shaquille O'Neal's fucking scientist,

Speaker 1 underdeveloped. Is that what I am? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay. I don't like it.

Speaker 1 I don't like that.

Speaker 4 Dude, if you were on Shaquille O'Neal's body, you'd be a skin tag.

Speaker 1 So you're saying

Speaker 1 what's that movie, Total Recall, where the thing?

Speaker 4 That's why.

Speaker 1 That's why they called him.

Speaker 3 What's his name again? Qui-Gone?

Speaker 1 She doesn't know what that is.

Speaker 1 Quiet. Quiet.

Speaker 3 Kwai.

Speaker 1 Hey, what was the little man? No, no, don't. What was a man attached to the in Total recall?

Speaker 3 Is that what you're saying, Doc, is?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's dark.

Speaker 1 You got to speak up for yourself, Doc. Yeah, Doc, you got to discuss it.

Speaker 1 We don't need it.

Speaker 1 That's it, right? Is it quite dark? That's fucking disrespectful.

Speaker 1 That's a real disrespect. What are you going to do about it?

Speaker 1 What are you going to do about it?

Speaker 1 We're going to gang up on you.

Speaker 4 This works when we talk one at a time. All right.
So let people,

Speaker 4 let people

Speaker 4 save their mind, right? And then we can't talk over each other. Okay?

Speaker 4 I thought you were going to set an agenda of what the show was going to be about.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 We're going to talk about.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you see, we could talk.

Speaker 4 Here's the deal, bud, all right?

Speaker 4 Andrew's not here, right? We can talk about whatever we want. And we generally talk about what me and Andrew want to talk about.
And I felt like it wasn't fair to you, right?

Speaker 4 So we can talk about whatever you want to talk about. And we will try to, you know what I mean,

Speaker 4 add information to your topics. No, no, no, no, no.
Steve, stop, step, stop.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 lost it. Oh.
Hawaii.

Speaker 1 Hawaii? Hawaii? What the fuck?

Speaker 3 She was just there.

Speaker 1 I know, but. But something to talk about.
That's a talking point. We've talked about Hawaii before.

Speaker 4 Something just random.

Speaker 2 Squid game.

Speaker 3 That's the last thing I want to talk about in Squid Game.

Speaker 1 That's the freaking last thing I want to talk about. You see that? Squid game, dude.
I don't even know what that is.

Speaker 1 I don't have Squid Game. You don't have Netflix? I got it, but

Speaker 3 I'm getting DMs every day, every second of the day.

Speaker 1 Have you seen Squid Game?

Speaker 3 Have you seen just random people?

Speaker 1 Have you seen Squid Game? Yeah, I don't. Oh, so this has nothing to do with like SpongeBob or anything like that? No, no, no, no, no, no,

Speaker 4 Squid Game is SpongeBob the movie.

Speaker 1 It's a feature. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You fucking with me.

Speaker 4 No, because they play this little game in the water.

Speaker 1 Why would any other

Speaker 1 SpongeBob? Okay. You knew who's also in it? Dora.
Dora? Yeah. Dora Spore? Fuck yeah, man.
Okay. All day, every day, man.

Speaker 1 The little mermaid. Right.

Speaker 4 And they played the squid game in the water.

Speaker 1 Describe the primate. That's what everyone's.
What's the primate? Well, Dora.

Speaker 3 Why should we, me, and doc watch it?

Speaker 1 Go ahead.

Speaker 3 Why should me and Doc watch it?

Speaker 1 Don't watch what? It's on you.

Speaker 1 I want you to pitch. I'll tell you why.

Speaker 3 I want you to pitch why Squid Game is such a fantastic series.

Speaker 4 I'll tell you why. Go ahead.
We want to know. So, Dora, Dora, right, the explorer, right? She has that thing where she forgets things, right?

Speaker 4 That's Dora, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I never watched Dora that way.

Speaker 4 So Ellen DeGeneres voices Dora, right? Right. So Dora, right, is like in the water.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And yeah.

Speaker 4 And Dora's like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Dory.

Speaker 4 Dory.

Speaker 2 Dory is the one that forgets things.

Speaker 1 It's not Dora.

Speaker 4 Oh, it's Dory the Explorer.

Speaker 1 No, what's Dora doing?

Speaker 1 Wait a minute.

Speaker 1 There's no Dora.

Speaker 1 There's no explorer.

Speaker 1 Driving Spars.

Speaker 4 They're finding Nemo, right? That's what they would be. Finding Nemo.
Dory. Ellen Degenerate.
She's not an Explorer, right? Dora the Explorer is the one that goes in the woods.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right? The backpack.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the one. That's where I'm jive.

Speaker 1 That's the one.

Speaker 1 Respect the dory.

Speaker 1 Respect the Trojan.

Speaker 1 I respect Detroit.

Speaker 1 You're not pitching the squid game very good.

Speaker 1 This is a horrible. This is a horrible pitch.
All right. Dora.
So far, me and Doc ain't watching it. All right.

Speaker 1 Convince. Wait, convince us.
All right. I'm going to do it right now, right? Go ahead.

Speaker 4 So Dory's in the water, right? She's confused. She doesn't know where she is, right? And she sees Spongy, right?

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 1 You know what you're doing right now, Dory?

Speaker 1 What are you doing right now?

Speaker 3 Are you talking about like a cartoon?

Speaker 1 What are you even talking about? This is a cartoon. Describe.

Speaker 3 No, it's a Korean series.

Speaker 1 Start it with that. It's a Korean series.
Let's go back to the real series. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Learn how to talk about it.

Speaker 1 Learn how to speak about it.

Speaker 1 So much lack of professionalism.

Speaker 1 You're a comedian, dude. You're supposed to be vocal.

Speaker 1 Describe the premise. You're just supposed to be describing that.

Speaker 1 Describe the premise.

Speaker 4 You have to relax today.

Speaker 1 I am relaxed.

Speaker 1 I love Doc.

Speaker 3 I love Doc. I'm on Doc's team.

Speaker 1 I love Doc.

Speaker 1 See that harmony right there?

Speaker 4 I don't want to give away.

Speaker 4 I don't want to give away the whole plot, I mean, the whole show, but I'll give you the premise of it.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
Go ahead.

Speaker 4 There's this Korean man, right? He's got a daughter, right? He's kind of downtrodden. I think he lives with his mother, right?

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 in the beginning of the show,

Speaker 4 are you listening? Yes.

Speaker 1 I am.

Speaker 3 I don't want to talk over you. I'm listening.

Speaker 4 I know, but you're making these faces like you're like, hurry up or whatever.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, that's better.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 4 So this Korean dude, he lives with his mom. He's kind of like in his early 40s, right? He has a daughter, but obviously he had a separation from his wife.

Speaker 4 She's seeing some other guy, and they have the daughter, right? And he's kind of like,

Speaker 4 you know, he's like us. He wakes up at three in the afternoon.
He steals money from his mom's, you know, I mean,

Speaker 4 steal money, purse or whatever, to get like ATM, right?

Speaker 4 And then

Speaker 4 he also

Speaker 4 owes loan sharks a bunch of money.

Speaker 4 So he wins some money at the horse races. He steals money from his mom, wins money at the horse races, and then he's cashing in.
He leaves, and then these loan sharks come in, and they, right?

Speaker 4 Okay. These loan sharks come in, and they go, um,

Speaker 4 where's our fucking money? He's like, I had it, right? But what happened was another girl pickpocketed the money that he had, right?

Speaker 4 So instead of doing that, they punch him, I think, they put him on the ground, and then they go, give me your, he's bleeding, his nose is bleeding, so they, give me your thumbprint.

Speaker 4 So they have a piece of paper. We don't know what the piece of paper is.

Speaker 4 He signs a piece of paper in this. And he basically is, it's a contract.
contract that he has no,

Speaker 4 he is, he's not privy to.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 4 so what ends up happening is, is that, um,

Speaker 4 oh, yeah, so he's at a subway, right? And a man in a suit next to

Speaker 1 him. I'm sorry, bro.
My bad. All right, you know what? My bad.
You know what? No, bro, no, bro. No, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro.
You were going to be that. I want to say that.
You were doing that.

Speaker 1 I was fighting. I was wrong.

Speaker 1 I want to say this, bro. I want to say that.

Speaker 1 I'm not finishing it.

Speaker 1 I'm not finishing it.

Speaker 1 Because that was rude, right? I didn't do that. And you better laugh

Speaker 1 at my expense. Dude, that was fun.
You're going to laugh at my expense, and that was rude.

Speaker 1 I was being real.

Speaker 3 Hey, if it's funny, it's funny.

Speaker 3 If it's funny, it's funny. I didn't know what you're doing.

Speaker 1 But boy, was that funny? That was very funny.

Speaker 4 The timing. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I'll watch it tonight.

Speaker 1 I don't want you to watch it.

Speaker 1 I don't want you to watch it, man. I don't want you to watch it.

Speaker 1 I'm not done with the pitch. Okay, go on.
Get here anymore. You're gonna pay no more.
No, I'm sold. I'm sold.
I'm telling you everything. I want to watch.
I'm telling you everything.

Speaker 1 Let's shake off it. I'm so happy.
I'm killing. Look at the man.
Look at my eyes. I'm fucking killing you.
Come on. Look at my eyes.

Speaker 1 Do it too much. I'm right here with you, Bobby.
I'm there.

Speaker 1 I'm watching it tonight. Because people are listening.
I'm convinced. I'm convinced.
You did a good job. We're not done.
Sorry, people. Great job.
We're not done. No, I want to watch it.

Speaker 4 No, I'm telling you because you're being such a fucking asshole. I'm telling you, explain it to you.
All right, so I'm going to finish my pitch. Go ahead.
I'm only going to do the first episode.

Speaker 4 Go ahead. Okay.

Speaker 4 So he's at a subway. It's late at night.
A man sits next to him in a suit, right? And he goes, You know what I mean? Let's play a game or whatever. So they play this game.

Speaker 4 At the end of the day, he gives him a card, and the card is a number. And he goes, If you want to make a lot of money, right?

Speaker 4 Listen to me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you fall asleep again.

Speaker 1 I swear to God, I'm right. If you fall asleep again, I am with you, bro.
All right. Cards and go ahead.

Speaker 3 Dude, just breathe. You could do it.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 They should do a Matrix for little people and have Brad Williams play Neo.

Speaker 1 He could play Morpheus.

Speaker 1 Dude, I need a hit. He could play little Morpheus.
No, no, no, no. No, no, no.
I didn't need to get hit after that. No, no, I'm a hit.
And the red pill and the yellow pill. No, no, no, stop.
Sit down.

Speaker 1 And the red pill and the yellow pill are really small.

Speaker 1 Oh, are really small.

Speaker 1 They look like little rices. Take that back.
No, I will not. I won't.

Speaker 4 And then, you know how they dodge bullets? So the bullets are like this big to them.

Speaker 1 First, I'm

Speaker 1 a big bullet.

Speaker 1 Like Mario Brothers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, don't care.

Speaker 4 So, um, is that funny?

Speaker 3 Can we end the squid game? I'm convinced.

Speaker 1 You don't have to explain it.

Speaker 4 I just want to get to the end of the episode. All right, go ahead.

Speaker 1 All right. Jesus.

Speaker 4 So basically, he's like, if you call this number, you make a lot of money. So he, and he goes, he doesn't know what to do.
So he calls this number. A van shows up at midnight, right? Yeah.

Speaker 4 He goes into a van. There's other people in the van that are like passed out.

Speaker 4 And then he goes, why are they sleeping? Keek passes out. And then, and next thing you know, he's pretty much in, he wakes up in a futuristic auditorium almost with beds.

Speaker 4 And they're all wearing outfits. And they have to play these games.

Speaker 3 I've seen it before.

Speaker 1 What's it called?

Speaker 3 The running man with Arnold Sorzeninger.

Speaker 1 It's been done, right? No, no, no. You've never seen it.
You know what?

Speaker 1 You've never seen it, right? You've never seen it. I'll let him be

Speaker 1 done that.

Speaker 1 Been there. Really? Done that.

Speaker 3 We've seen it, right, Doc?

Speaker 1 Hey, yeah, I guess so.

Speaker 3 The running man. They just stole the running man premise.

Speaker 4 If Denzel Washington, listen to me, watch it.

Speaker 1 If Denzel Washington, hold on, let me finish. Let me finish this.

Speaker 1 If Denzel Washington, I am thinking about it. Really think about it.

Speaker 4 If Denzel Washington, right, had a little Lego action figure.

Speaker 1 You gotta take that off. Don't take that back.

Speaker 1 Are you on this side?

Speaker 1 I love this fucking guy. I fucking love this guy.
I like to see people fucking love me.

Speaker 1 I love this fucking guy. I love him.
Make fun of me now.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 4 All right, so anyway, um, that's what

Speaker 1 it's good game.

Speaker 4 Okay, and I've been telling you to watch it, and you won't watch it.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna watch it tonight. I'm convinced.
I'm gonna watch it tonight.

Speaker 4 You cried in my house the other day.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I did. You want to talk about it? No, because he showed me this really touching Hulu

Speaker 3 thing on this magician. He does a one-man show.

Speaker 1 It's really good, man.

Speaker 4 In and of itself. Yeah, it's really good.

Speaker 1 And my brother,

Speaker 1 my brother cried like this. You started crying.
My brother cried.

Speaker 3 It broke me down. Yeah, it did.
I didn't expect to.

Speaker 1 went.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no. You did, you go.

Speaker 1 You put both arms around your way. You went.
All right.

Speaker 1 Andreas, cut that.

Speaker 1 Wait, hold on.

Speaker 1 Andreas.

Speaker 1 That's why you're standing there. No, no, no, no.
We can't air this.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I repeat.

Speaker 1 Andreas,

Speaker 3 no, no, no. I'm serious.
Cut that. Let's just edit that out.
And let's talk about my trip to Austin.

Speaker 1 We're going to edit that out. Let's just fuck it.
Okay.

Speaker 4 Can we talk about the one-man show, though. Go ahead.
All right. You did cry, though.

Speaker 3 You did too. Yeah, I know.
We were both crying.

Speaker 1 We were both crying. You know why? Is this your first time seeing this? No, no.

Speaker 3 This guy's magical, man, because

Speaker 3 he did this interactive magic. It's not like any other magic show you've seen.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you too, guys.

Speaker 3 He incorporates the audience within the show.

Speaker 1 That's it, right there.

Speaker 3 Yeah, this guy's magical, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 And he did something. And you know what? You said to me?

Speaker 4 In tears.

Speaker 3 Think about it, don't you really think about what you're saying?

Speaker 4 I am going to. Because this is what you were like,

Speaker 1 Let me just finish right now. And you go,

Speaker 1 right? And you go, Steve, this is what you want. You want

Speaker 1 magic is real.

Speaker 4 That's what you said to me.

Speaker 1 Magic is real.

Speaker 1 And I was like, what a cry, baby.

Speaker 1 I swear to God, Andres. I swear to God.
Andreas is going to cop that.

Speaker 1 I wasn't that part of Steve. I was awesome.
Steve don't do that.

Speaker 1 He's a fucking man.

Speaker 1 He's a fucking man.

Speaker 1 Wait, in my opinion, you know why I like it?

Speaker 3 It was interactive. He included the whole audience.
He did something with each audience member that was touching.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 And it was unexplainable.

Speaker 1 So y'all crying?

Speaker 3 It was really touching, man.

Speaker 1 I mean, it takes a lot for me. It takes a lot for me to cry.

Speaker 4 You don't cry, dog?

Speaker 1 I cry, but when's the last time you cry?

Speaker 1 When'd you cry?

Speaker 1 Give me a second, man. Hold on, I'm feeling it, right? I feel like you're about to cry now.
Man, I'm coming.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When's the last to be cried?

Speaker 1 Like for watching something on TV. No, just in general.

Speaker 1 Oh, in general. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a good one, Bobby.

Speaker 1 I'm really concentrating here, Bobby. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's been a long time. Anytime.
Anytime.

Speaker 1 Has it been a long time? It's been a long time.

Speaker 1 Tell me when your mom died. Mom passed away.
Yeah, mom was crying, right? Okay, crying there. She cried there, yeah.

Speaker 1 I cried.

Speaker 1 It was something I watched, and I cried, but I can't.

Speaker 4 You probably cried.

Speaker 4 Wait.

Speaker 1 Man, hold on.

Speaker 1 I don't like your energy. I don't know.
Let me just throw it up.

Speaker 3 No, no, no.

Speaker 1 You have to start respecting him. I have respect him.

Speaker 4 No, see, that's why he's on the podcast. This is the third time.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 4 Do you cry when you can't find your penis?

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude. Just calm down.
You know what?

Speaker 1 Don't you play into these guys, man?

Speaker 1 Every other morning I'm like, trying to check out.

Speaker 1 is that what I do?

Speaker 1 I bet you. I bet you.

Speaker 1 I bet you

Speaker 1 he has way more girth than you.

Speaker 1 Doc, Doc,

Speaker 1 you burn me.

Speaker 1 Doc has more girth than you burn you.

Speaker 1 He has more girth than you. Yeah, I know what girth is.

Speaker 4 Guys, we got to be, you know, because this podcast is about positive.

Speaker 1 We're having fun.

Speaker 4 And I'm having fun. Right? And

Speaker 4 I want to, let's get to.

Speaker 1 How about let's just play a little game.

Speaker 4 What do you think? Okay. Yeah, go ahead.
Let's say, let's just look at each everyone, look at each other.

Speaker 4 Like, I look at all three of you in the room. I say something positive, and then you guys say something about, you know, right? And we'll just get on.
What the?

Speaker 1 What do you, is this a therapy session there? No, let's talk about topics. I know.
We will do this first. We just want to connect.
That's what it is. Yeah, I want to connect with you.

Speaker 1 It's quantum. It's all.
Okay, why don't you start?

Speaker 1 I will start. And then go around like

Speaker 1 clockwise.

Speaker 4 I think, Rudy, I think, Rudy, Juliana, I think you're a smart girl, and I I think that you're a good girl. You have a good heart.
You do a lot of work around the house, and

Speaker 4 I really appreciate you.

Speaker 1 Okay?

Speaker 4 Steve.

Speaker 4 You are my brother.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 You're my brother, man.

Speaker 4 And your rage and your anger has subsided, is it not?

Speaker 1 Dude, thank you. What?

Speaker 1 That's a compliment.

Speaker 3 Subsided, me.

Speaker 1 This brotherly love, right there. I feel that.

Speaker 1 It simmered down.

Speaker 4 Your rage is no longer.

Speaker 4 But you did wrestle that fat guy came out.

Speaker 3 But I was cornered. I had no other choice.

Speaker 4 Right. When you're cornered like a little rat in a trap, who bites his way out? I do.
I know you do. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Okay. I love George, by the way.

Speaker 1 He bites, bro?

Speaker 3 The kid that I wrestled, George, his name was George.

Speaker 1 You bite Steve?

Speaker 3 No, I did a single leg takedown.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And you mean like Mike Tyson?

Speaker 3 No, I didn't punch. It was a wrestling match.
No, no punching.

Speaker 4 We'll go back to you now, Ryan. Doc, Doc.

Speaker 1 Back to you.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 One day you will find the Yellowbrick Road.

Speaker 1 That's dude. That's where you're all at love.

Speaker 4 You will find it.

Speaker 1 And then somehow, Jason.

Speaker 4 And, you know, dude, I know you run a 30-minute mile,

Speaker 4 but

Speaker 4 that's a beautiful.

Speaker 4 That mile, you hustling, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 You know what I mean? Around the four tracks.

Speaker 1 30 minutes, right?

Speaker 4 Yeah. It's an inspiration to me, man.

Speaker 1 Okay. Right.
You never call him an oompa loompa ever.

Speaker 1 I didn't call him. He didn't call me a OK, okay.

Speaker 1 I didn't call her him a Upaloopa.

Speaker 1 I didn't call her an Oompa Loompa.

Speaker 1 I thought because of the Wizard of Oz.

Speaker 1 I thought you did. He could have been the fucking lion.
He could have been the lion.

Speaker 1 He could have been the lion.

Speaker 1 Right? Just don't do that. He's an oompa loompa.
Just don't do that. He's an oopaloopa.

Speaker 1 What are you going to do, man? I'm not a goddamn.

Speaker 4 So I did it first. So go ahead, Rudy.
Now you tell me. Rudy, go ahead.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. She don't even know me, bro.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Steve,

Speaker 2 you're nice.

Speaker 4 That's good.

Speaker 4 That's positive.

Speaker 4 I like it. Go to Doc.

Speaker 1 Doc,

Speaker 2 I don't know you,

Speaker 1 but.

Speaker 1 You can do it, Rudy.

Speaker 1 I like your face. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Did you do Bobby. See that?

Speaker 1 That's nice. Yeah.
I feel that. It's good energy.
Teacher Bobby. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I like your style.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good. That's good.
That's good. I appreciate that.
That's some good energy. Rudy,

Speaker 3 I love your carefree attitude towards life and how I feel like you've grown being on this and just because, you know, this is not your forte, but you're forced to like endure it and like grow through the process.

Speaker 1 and so i commend you for that thank you doc

Speaker 3 when i was doing open mics years ago you were one of the only one

Speaker 3 of the people that were always treating me nice

Speaker 3 even at like rock paper or at meltdown you were always always always nice to me

Speaker 3 And I even did a bit, I remember I had a bit about fleshlights.

Speaker 1 Hold up.

Speaker 3 I had a bit about fleshlights.

Speaker 3 And you actually pulled me to the side and you said, Hey, you know, that's funny, but so-and-so does that joke too.

Speaker 3 And so, you I looked up to you that in that way, where you're kind of correcting me as far as the community and jokes and yeah, ethics and all that. And you're a loyal guy, you're a hard-working man.

Speaker 3 You haven't, you know what I mean? You're still grinding, uh, Bobby.

Speaker 1 It's good stuff.

Speaker 3 You are the most hard-working guy. Uh, you've been so loyal to your family and friends,

Speaker 3 you've been good to Kalila.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 3 you're the most uh

Speaker 1 what could I say? What's the word for okay?

Speaker 4 I get it,

Speaker 3 you're just no, no, no, no, you're just so driven as far as you're so long, though. Okay, so you're a good guy, you're the parent.

Speaker 1 You're a great brother, you're a great brother, you could have just said that. You have a good heart.
Thank you.

Speaker 4 Okay, yeah, little one, go ahead.

Speaker 1 She's gonna start over here first. All right, Rudy,

Speaker 1 beautiful soul,

Speaker 1 thank you, vibrant smile. All right.

Speaker 1 Glad you made that trip from Thailand.

Speaker 4 Yep.

Speaker 1 So.

Speaker 1 Never been there, but.

Speaker 1 It's a beautiful country, though. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You can tell. It's a beautiful country.

Speaker 1 And.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You never been to Thailand? Go to Thailand. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Go to Thailand, right? Go to Thailand. In the Olympics, you always,

Speaker 4 when you think of Rudy, think of Thailand. And also,

Speaker 4 when they're in the Olympics, always root for Thailand. Thailand.
You You know how many golds they've won, Thailand? Well, how much they win? I have no idea. Me,

Speaker 1 probably none. Okay, well, yeah.

Speaker 1 Love Thailand. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Steve.

Speaker 1 You're everything what Korea should be, I would guess.

Speaker 4 Everything's what is a fucking

Speaker 4 you know, yeah, yeah, but everything has to be like about the country, and then it's just connecting.

Speaker 1 He's an American, you fuckface. We're from San Diego, dude.
Jesus Christ. Oh, okay.
Well, that's a good question.

Speaker 1 We're from Powell.

Speaker 1 Why does everything have to be Korean?

Speaker 1 Come on, man. I apologize.
Okay, well, start over. San Diego.
Okay, let's start over. You

Speaker 1 great skateboarder.

Speaker 1 I'm pop shoveling. I have a pop shovel.
Yeah, you can do a pop shovel. Let's redo that.
Let's go, let's go.

Speaker 1 Back to Square World. Go back to World War II.
Go back to Rudy. Yeah, go back to Rudy.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you why. No, I'll tell you why, right? What's that? She's from the Philippines.
Yeah, not Thailand. Yeah, not Thailand.
Different countries. You fucked it up in the beginning.

Speaker 4 Different countries. So start over there.

Speaker 1 I'm just trying to connect.

Speaker 1 I'm just trying to feel the energy. The energy.

Speaker 1 And we're just gonna help you. Yeah, I see.
But it's just, I feel a little negativity still.

Speaker 1 No, no, we love it. Living in all of you.
No, no, no, there's nothing. We love you here.

Speaker 1 Oh, we love you. We love you.
All right. Yes, it's just me.

Speaker 4 Go back to Rudy.

Speaker 1 Rudy? Yes.

Speaker 1 Manny Pacquiao.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 Everybody's fighting.

Speaker 1 He's great. Okay.
Manny Pacquiao is great. The Philippines, right? That's exactly.
Yeah, you're doing great. I'm with you.

Speaker 1 I'm with her. That's all I'm saying.

Speaker 1 I love y'all. Yeah,

Speaker 1 because of me.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 he's great.

Speaker 1 He's great. He's great.
He's great.

Speaker 1 What else I'm going to say? I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And good luck at

Speaker 1 Cal State, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Very good.

Speaker 1 I don't want to say nothing else that might be.

Speaker 1 And Steve. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Think about it. Think about it.
The open mics was fantastic, man.

Speaker 1 I had a great time.

Speaker 1 You can see I'm bad at this, man. Why would y'all put me in?

Speaker 1 But I love you, bro.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 nothing but love. You're my dog, though.

Speaker 1 You really are my dog. Hell yeah.
Always respect at the comedy store. Move on, man.

Speaker 1 I'm not ready yet.

Speaker 1 All right, let's come on over here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bobby, baby.

Speaker 3 Are you happy with the exercise?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I'm very happy with it. And also, it's my turn now.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's giving me my mine. I thought you already went.
No, he hasn't done mine yet.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay, sorry, sorry. Why are you doing that?

Speaker 1 I was waiting for my fucking doctor.

Speaker 3 No, that wasn't intentional.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you were. No, no, no, that wasn't.
Yeah, yeah. Okay, go ahead.
Yeah, can I get my little thing? Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Go ahead.

Speaker 1 I think the greatest words that can be said is.

Speaker 1 Better help.

Speaker 4 Oh, gee, golly gee. Gee, golly gee.
I love BetterHelp. BetterHelp is something that I use.

Speaker 4 BetterHelp is something that I recommend to everyone in my life, and that's especially you, bad friends, fans. Is there something interfering with your life,

Speaker 1 Andrew?

Speaker 6 Yeah, we all have something that's interfering with achieving our goals.

Speaker 4 Well, what do you do about it?

Speaker 6 I actually talk to somebody. BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist, and you can talk to somebody in under 48 hours, which I love.

Speaker 4 The service is available worldwide, guys, and it's a broad range of expertise available, which may not be locally available in many areas. And it's not a crisis line.
It's not self-help.

Speaker 4 It's professional counseling done securely online. We all do it.
It's an amazing service.

Speaker 1 No, I do agree with that.

Speaker 6 Bob and I both used it. We talked about it during the pandemic when times were tough.
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So if you're out there, they're recruiting, but we both have used it. We both do recommend it.

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Speaker 1 Babel.

Speaker 6 Hey, you all know, I've been a huge fan of Babel for a long time now.

Speaker 1 Oh, I know you are.

Speaker 1 We have fun learning some languages. Oh, we love learning together as a family.

Speaker 6 Bobby's teaching me Korean. Yeah.
And there's more ways to learn with their latest release, Babel Live.

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Speaker 6 They want to help you learn the language skills that are going to be most useful.

Speaker 4 I'll tell you the goal, Andrew. The goal is to help you learn the language skills that will be most useful in your life.
Did you just say that?

Speaker 1 I did.

Speaker 4 And that's what I wanted to reiterate that.

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Speaker 1 Greatest words that can be said is:

Speaker 1 come off the movie heat.

Speaker 1 My sunset rises and sets with you. I don't know, man.
I'm just trying to.

Speaker 1 Don't do this. Don't you do this.

Speaker 1 Don't you do this?

Speaker 1 Sunset.

Speaker 1 I was hearing you. You're letting the negativity creep in.
No, I'm not using the snow. The sunset rises sets with you.

Speaker 4 The sunset rises sets with you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's off the move. The heat.

Speaker 4 Heat, right? So that's what you want to say to me.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. It just means that it's happy days.
It means

Speaker 1 every day is the same with you.

Speaker 4 You're not good at this, are you?

Speaker 1 Not really. Give a couple.
Yeah, Yeah, give a couple, but you're a great dude. You've always been.

Speaker 1 You know what? Okay, there's a lot of people.

Speaker 1 This is what I'm talking about. You're the one that really had me going

Speaker 1 open lights and pushing, doing the comedy, because how much you used to harass me. What are you talking about, Willis?

Speaker 1 See, see, now, now, now I'm trying to, now I found a comfort zone within myself to express. And then you do that.

Speaker 1 What are you angry for? What are you doing on that? What are you doing?

Speaker 1 You gotta respect him.

Speaker 1 He respect him.

Speaker 3 He respected a whole 70s sitcom recorder.

Speaker 1 You just don't have it, don't you? Yeah, who said it?

Speaker 1 Who said it? That's from different strokes.

Speaker 1 Who said it? Who said it? It's from different strokes.

Speaker 1 Who got it said it?

Speaker 1 Is that from different strokes? Yeah, yeah. Oh, Carrie Cole.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now you get the joke. It's funny, though.

Speaker 1 Don't add that in the podcast.

Speaker 1 I am sorry.

Speaker 1 Smokes. My bad, man.

Speaker 1 That was a cool exercise. So that was good.
That was a good exercise. I like that, right? I did it.

Speaker 4 Good, like that. Very good exercise.
How was Austin?

Speaker 3 It was good. So I didn't know.
It was for the Moontower Comedy Festival.

Speaker 3 You know what it reminded me of?

Speaker 1 What? Do you remember

Speaker 3 you went to Maui?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 3 It was a film festival. Yeah.
But we didn't go to any of the events. We just stayed in our room.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I did that in Austin.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 3 I just didn't.

Speaker 3 I didn't know how to read the itinerary or show up to these places. Yeah.
So I was just eating beef jerky and drinking like snapples.

Speaker 1 You didn't know nobody else?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I just kicked it. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Because on TNT, they were playing Star Wars. They had New Hope, Empire Strikes Back,

Speaker 3 Return of the Jedi, Phantom Menace. And

Speaker 3 they showed it on a loop.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I thought that was cool.

Speaker 3 So I just stayed indoors.

Speaker 1 Star Wars, though? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can I say something? Yeah. May I? Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 4 So when I picked you up, right?

Speaker 1 When I picked you up in the car, right? Yeah. You said, hey, hey, dude, you guys, remind I got something good about Austin.
So

Speaker 1 bring it up, right?

Speaker 4 And Jules and I were like, oh, you got some good stories? You're like, yeah, man. Make sure you do it, right?

Speaker 1 So Austin, right?

Speaker 1 So I see it. That was

Speaker 1 my story. I just brought it up to you.

Speaker 1 Hey, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 I'm embarrassed, dad.

Speaker 1 Holy shit.

Speaker 4 That's what you fucking were going to say.

Speaker 1 I was going to say I just ate beef jerky at my hometown.

Speaker 1 And I thought it would get a reaction.

Speaker 1 It wasn't that good at all.

Speaker 1 It wasn't good.

Speaker 1 It wasn't good at all. I feel like hiding in my shirt.

Speaker 1 It wasn't good. Oh, I'm a failure.
No, okay. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 I don't have to kill myself. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't do that, Bob.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't kill yourself.

Speaker 1 Step in, Bob. I'm on my last rope.
Bring back that. Hold on,

Speaker 1 start back over.

Speaker 1 I failed you. Start back over with me.
No, no, no. I failed you hard.
I'm so sorry. How about this? I got some pills on.
How about this? How about this? Oh, no, I don't deserve to live.

Speaker 4 That's it. You know what's the magic of podcasting? What?

Speaker 1 The magic of podcasting is we could cut that out, right?

Speaker 4 Yeah. You can do it over.

Speaker 1 Make some.

Speaker 1 I don't have a good story.

Speaker 4 No, no, make it up. Ready? Do you have anything to do with it?

Speaker 1 So here we go. Caught.

Speaker 4 And action. Ask me again.

Speaker 1 How was Austin?

Speaker 3 It was fantastic. So me and Jeremiah, we did a live Scissor Bros podcast event.

Speaker 3 And for our, we had a very awesome challenge, and it had to do with barbecue sauce.

Speaker 1 Andres, cut that out soon.

Speaker 1 Hey, I gave you a shot. I gave you a shot.

Speaker 4 I'm giving you a shot.

Speaker 1 We could cut it, right? I don't know.

Speaker 1 You can just

Speaker 3 be interesting. In my mind, I'm like, oh, that would be interesting.
I could relay the Maui trip and incorporate it with our trip to Austin.

Speaker 3 and the fact that we didn't do anything or engage in anything.

Speaker 1 So it's at two in the morning. You're in your hotel room.

Speaker 4 Let me just cut back to a little bit. Yeah.
You're watching Return of the Jedi, right? You're watching it. You're going, I can't wait to tell everyone about this.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, no. Hold on.
No, no, I got it. I got it.
I got it. I got it.
I got it.

Speaker 1 You got me on that one.

Speaker 3 I'll let you jab at me on that.

Speaker 3 I went to the Danielle Johnston mural.

Speaker 4 I know. But did you post it? Yeah.
So people know that already.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 3 I also went to, have you heard of Bucky's?

Speaker 3 Bucky's is a gas station they have in Texas. There's like 100 pumps, but it's like the size of a Walmart.
They have their own beef jerky section, and you could buy all kinds of stuff.

Speaker 4 Like what?

Speaker 3 They have their own barbecue section where you could get like sandwiches, like

Speaker 3 you know, like tri-tip sandwiches. Oh, they have their own potato chips called beaver chips.

Speaker 3 So they make their own beaver potato chips.

Speaker 3 They also sell Bucky's pair of like like t-shirts and beanies. They have merch.
They have merch. They also have icy these icy stations every a couple meters where they have just like 7-Eleven.

Speaker 1 Bobby. No, I mean, just like 7-Eleven.

Speaker 4 Just like 7-Eleven or what?

Speaker 1 Bobby.

Speaker 1 He's trying to react.

Speaker 1 In my mind, I know. You don't know what's going on in my mind.

Speaker 1 In my mind, I'm saying, this is not working. I know.
It is working. Please switch the topic.
No, it is no matter what. Let's go to Doc.

Speaker 1 No, you go to break the two up in the fucking car. I know.
I thought in my mind,

Speaker 1 I thought it would resonate.

Speaker 3 Right. I thought it would resonate, and it didn't.

Speaker 1 I take it.

Speaker 4 How about if I segue in a very positive way?

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 4 Did you see any of the Star Wars movies?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 4 You don't know anything about it? No. Nami, you don't know one character.

Speaker 1 Please.

Speaker 2 The one that says, I am the father.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I am the father.

Speaker 4 He goes, I am the father. Hear me roar.

Speaker 1 That's what he says.

Speaker 1 Luke, Luke, Luke Skywalker. Yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 that's what I was talking about. That's the only thing you know? Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So let's talk about.

Speaker 1 Did you watch all the Star Wars? Document. Not all of them, but I watched a lot of them.

Speaker 4 Which ones have you missed?

Speaker 1 Let's see. Rogue.

Speaker 4 I know. No, no.
Aside from the offshoot movies,

Speaker 4 just the core nine movies. Did you see the core nine?

Speaker 1 Well, I saw all the way up to Empire Strikes Back and uh

Speaker 4 that's the that was the second movie.

Speaker 1 So you return of the Jedi.

Speaker 4 So you're the first one? Empire Strikes Back. You saw Return of the Jedi, and that's it.

Speaker 1 That's it, Bobby. I ain't.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Samarian, why you do that?

Speaker 4 Yeah, you know. I know, I know, but what I'm asking you is, you know, man.

Speaker 1 I know why. Why?

Speaker 4 You only saw those three?

Speaker 4 You loved Empire Strikes Back?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Do you know why? Is that your favorite one?

Speaker 4 Yeah. You know why?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 What were we going to say?

Speaker 1 What do you think I was going to say?

Speaker 3 You were going to say something about Lando Carrizian.

Speaker 4 Billy D. Williams.

Speaker 1 I know him.

Speaker 1 I know him. Yeah, yeah.
I know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you love Lando?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's good.

Speaker 4 When you watch that, you're like, I'm more of a, you know who I'm a fan of?

Speaker 1 I'm a big fan of Bubba Fett. That's my dude.
Oh, yeah. Oh, really? Bubba Fett? Yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah. I love you too.
I love you. You're a Bubba Fett fat guy

Speaker 1 right there guy yeah

Speaker 1 i thought you were in the movie actually the first one oh yeah well which which which character one little brown robe

Speaker 1 a jowl that's not you dude just called you a jow

Speaker 1 just give you a jowl yeah yeah i'd be sorry yeah yeah yeah all right then

Speaker 1 let's turn it on you

Speaker 4 what's your hold up bob what's your favorite star wars and why let's turn it on you well i think empire strike 6 is the best one because it's dark.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 4 It's dark. The ending of the movie is like not positive.
It's, you know, I mean, you know, it's crazy. He loses his hand.

Speaker 4 Right.

Speaker 4 They took Han Solo.

Speaker 1 And Carbonite. Carbonite.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Carbonite. Cloud City.

Speaker 1 Cloud City. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 That was a dark episode. But

Speaker 1 I liked

Speaker 4 the first three I liked.

Speaker 1 What was the worst?

Speaker 3 Oh, Phantom Menace.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Phantom Menace.
No.

Speaker 3 Phantom Menace is the worst one.

Speaker 4 The Ryan Johnson. What was that one? The second one that he did?

Speaker 1 Sounds like someone else. Phantom Menace.

Speaker 1 The new one?

Speaker 4 The Last Jedi? The Last Jedi was terrible.

Speaker 3 Dude, Phantom Menace was the worst.

Speaker 4 The Last Jedi. When Anakin's a kid?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 4 Oh, I want to go racy.

Speaker 4 I know, but remember The Last Jedi where

Speaker 4 Princess Leia gets shot into space?

Speaker 1 And she's dead? Oh, and she's a little bit more than that. And she married Poppy.
Yeah, she married Poppy. She was flying in space.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That was a bad choice. A terrible choice.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 What else did you not like about it?

Speaker 4 So that I didn't like, I didn't like,

Speaker 4 I just didn't like the way they brought Luke into the thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 Respect Luke's name.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 respect him, Donald Trump. Exactly.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 I just thought the whole thing was like,

Speaker 4 also, like, that whole like, the rebellion, like, you know how I forgot what's, oh, you,

Speaker 4 the Vegas stuff.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that was kind of random.

Speaker 4 And they bust all those animals out.

Speaker 1 That was unnecessary. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They had Las Vegas in there? Yeah, Las Vegas was in there.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Donald Trump's in it.
Anyway, it's great.

Speaker 1 Donald Trump.

Speaker 1 In Star Wars? Why would he be in there? No, he's cool in your land. Ceeze, that's why

Speaker 1 I'm not. I don't really believe that you fucking ass.
Because it's Star Wars. So, you know, anybody can be in Star Wars.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you said Vegas, though.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 There's a Vegas-like city.

Speaker 1 It's not actually Vegas, man. Yeah, it's kind of like Vegas, but not Vegas.
That's what you should have said.

Speaker 1 Why would you say?

Speaker 4 Darn, whatever. You don't know much about pop culture, huh?

Speaker 1 Not really, bro.

Speaker 1 No, he does.

Speaker 3 He just grew.

Speaker 1 No, I want to ask you. Pop culture, meaning what?

Speaker 3 Like his favorite movies growing up. Go ahead, Doc.

Speaker 1 Yeah, give me your top three movies. School him, man.
School him. Yeah, rip me up.

Speaker 1 Top three movies. Yeah, yeah.
Heat.

Speaker 4 Yeah, because what was that line in heat?

Speaker 1 What's the line?

Speaker 1 My son said, right, my son rises.

Speaker 1 I forgot what I said.

Speaker 4 Yeah, my sunset rises and rises with you.

Speaker 1 Sunset rises and sets with you.

Speaker 4 You love that quote, huh?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was a little soft.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You didn't feel that right now? What's the second one? Two more movies. Two more movies.
Dumb and dumber.

Speaker 1 Don't be like this, man.

Speaker 1 Don't be judgmental. If I'm going to make movies, I'll hear y'all tackling in the back.

Speaker 1 Great cinematic movie.

Speaker 1 That laugh back there.

Speaker 1 That's from the stomach. That's from your heart.
Hey, Steve, don't do it, Steve. He's doing it from his heart.
Yeah, man. Don't really believe

Speaker 1 that Dumb and Dumber is one of his favorite movies. I love it.
I love it.

Speaker 1 Doc, one more. One more, please.
One more. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Training Day.

Speaker 1 Why is that fun? It's a good movie. Oh, dude.
That was a good movie.

Speaker 1 That was a good movie. That was amazing.

Speaker 1 To heat

Speaker 1 Dumb and Dumber and Training Day.

Speaker 4 Does it go in that order, you think? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Whatever. You know, I just.

Speaker 1 Can I put Tombstone in there, too? Yeah. Tombstone?

Speaker 1 What the fuck? You put Tombstone. I don't care what

Speaker 1 Get the Western Random Good one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 1 Gal Kilner. Gal Kilner.
Sam Elliott. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Damn good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Damn good.

Speaker 4 How about this? Let's go to top three albums.

Speaker 3 Music?

Speaker 1 Music albums? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, Never Mind by Nirvana.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Tupacalyps Now with Tupac. Very good.
And then Off the Wall with Michael Jackson.

Speaker 3 That's a great album. Yeah, dude.
I mean, you can't dispute that.

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Speaker 1 I got to tell you the crazy story. Go ahead, George.
What the fuck happened with this guy?

Speaker 1 So you know how the OR at the back door of of the comedy store? Where we sitting, we on the post right there. And then there's the bathroom right there.
The front or the back? Oh, the hallway.

Speaker 1 The hallway. The hallway in the back.
Gotcha. Right with everybody come out of their cars.
So Bobby parks his car, comes, and I'm sitting on the stool, right? And he said, I got to go to the bathroom.

Speaker 1 So he goes in the bathroom, and then there's a customer waiting right behind the door.

Speaker 1 Bobby come charging out a couple minutes later with his pants down his ankles, wobbling, yellow belly out, and everything.

Speaker 1 He comes charging at me and everything. And then,

Speaker 1 and the customer gets so fucking mad. And he sees Bobby with his pants down, yellow cheeks.
Was his dick out? Because I don't know. Where did he get them drawers from?

Speaker 1 Little underwear you got with the cheeks stick out a little bit. Anyway, no, his dick wasn't on.
He was naked. He had his drawers on.

Speaker 1 Okay, he had the drawers on, but his pants down to his ankle, so he's like hobbling towards me. And then the customer goes, Hey, man, goes, What the fuck? Yeah.
You didn't wash your hands.

Speaker 1 Go back in there and wash your fucking hands.

Speaker 1 And I wobble back in there. This guy.
I wobbled back and wash my hands. This guy.

Speaker 1 This guy was was more concerned about this dude washing his hands.

Speaker 1 Let's go back to the underwear. What kind of underwear was he wearing?

Speaker 1 Why? I just know.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you dropped.

Speaker 1 But they weren't boxer shorts.

Speaker 3 They were different kinds of underwear, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're not. Like the silk shots.

Speaker 4 Are you a boxers guy or are you a tiny white guy?

Speaker 1 My boxers.

Speaker 4 Yeah, a real man.

Speaker 3 Let me see. Let me see.
What are you wearing?

Speaker 1 Boxers. Okay.

Speaker 3 Yeah, me too.

Speaker 1 I'm all about the boxers.

Speaker 1 Food Food of a lunch. What about you? Oh, no, no.
Are you? Food of a loop. I want to see what I have.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. See, that's different.
What are you?

Speaker 1 The underwear, there's always something different, dude. Dude, what is that snake skin? Yeah, that's a good one.
Holy smokes, you're wearing snakeskin underwear.

Speaker 1 Every time.

Speaker 3 Why is there a rip towards the top? Dude, there's something wrong with you.

Speaker 3 No, you need therapy, dude.

Speaker 1 It's time. That's not breaking fucking underwear.
Yeah, it's time. It's time.
It's time. I'm in therapy, dude.
Yeah, dude. That's crazy.
You need it. You're in therapy room? You need it.

Speaker 1 You've never been to therapy.

Speaker 1 We all need it.

Speaker 4 We all need it. Therapy is really good.
Yeah, well. It's positive, right?

Speaker 3 Are you really in therapy or you're just saying?

Speaker 1 We are in the middle of the year. Every Thursday.
We're actually in therapy.

Speaker 3 No, no, are you just saying that just to look good? Are you really doing it?

Speaker 4 I have a therapist with my. Yeah, right?

Speaker 1 I do therapy every Thursday. Jules, is this true?

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah. You're really doing therapy?

Speaker 4 I've been doing it for years.

Speaker 3 Oh, I'm proud of you. I didn't know that.

Speaker 3 What do you guys talk about with your therapy?

Speaker 1 I've talked about you.

Speaker 3 And then mom and dad? No, you.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay. A lot about you, man.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I want to apologize. Who's the body of person?

Speaker 3 As a kid, I remember as a kid in Minnesota, I used to just punch you for no reason. No reason.
And then you would be like, don't hit your brother, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to apologize.
That was rock.

Speaker 1 So you're 51, 52?

Speaker 1 You're 51, 52? No.

Speaker 1 He's 50, right?

Speaker 1 He's younger. I'm younger.
Oh, that's right. Three years younger.
Did he look younger?

Speaker 1 Come on, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 I had your back the whole time.

Speaker 1 I got your back. I got you.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I had you the whole time. He betrayed you, dude.
He fucking betrayed you.

Speaker 1 That was real. That was real.
That was real, dude.

Speaker 1 You really look young, though.

Speaker 1 You look really

Speaker 1 good.

Speaker 1 Hold up, hold up. Doc, I had your back the whole time.

Speaker 1 I had your freaking back the whole time.

Speaker 3 I was going to take a bullet for you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you did that.

Speaker 3 How do you feel now? A little betrayed.

Speaker 1 A little bit. Yeah.
Dude, but are we on the same page?

Speaker 1 Give me some scanners. I love him.

Speaker 1 Dude, please be on my side.

Speaker 1 I love him. You said that you was punching on him, so usually that's what the older brother does.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's not me out.

Speaker 1 Remember that time you got. Wait, hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up.

Speaker 3 Let me set the context.

Speaker 3 We were wrestling in mom and dad's room.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 3 I did an arm drag, and your arm went out the window.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, no.

Speaker 1 You were headbutting each other on our feet.

Speaker 1 No, no, your arm went out.

Speaker 1 Did it break glass? It broke glass. We broke the glass of the window.
So my head and my arm are out the window. Out the window.
Right.

Speaker 3 You pulled it back in. yeah

Speaker 1 you caulk back he did something where he caulked back yeah he's called cocking back and boom he just knocked me out right wow but yeah let me say something

Speaker 1 like a couple can i say this go ahead go ahead go ahead that's usually my reaction when somebody throws me out a window

Speaker 1 that's just my gut no no no no don't shake my head no don't shake my head no no no no honestly dude dude no no

Speaker 1 usually my gun instinct no no no no get me back up back up you know you usually my gut instinct you know i love what you do do. I love you.
I don't know what you do. You know, I love you.

Speaker 1 I throw out a window. I love you so much.
I punched the guy in the middle of the window. I love you so much.
You know that. Don't throw me out a window.
I have never seen that.

Speaker 1 I would never do that again. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 In fact, I haven't done, we haven't been physically, like, we haven't gotten a fight in many, many years. Oh, just in many years.

Speaker 4 We would play FIFA. We'd be playing FIFA, right?

Speaker 1 FIFA. Oh, it's.
The video game.

Speaker 4 We were playing FIFA at this place in orange.

Speaker 1 That place, right?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 And I would score the winning goal, right?

Speaker 4 Like 10 seconds left.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I won! Right? And my brother brother would go right in my fucking face. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I would do this.

Speaker 3 No, no, no, hold up. He's not giving me credit.
He's not doing the real story.

Speaker 3 It started with Knockout Kings, the boxing game.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 We went all 12 rounds. Yeah.

Speaker 3 There's a button where you can hit them in the nuts and they'll bend over. Yeah.
Then you can do a cheap shot. Yeah.
He did that to me.

Speaker 3 That's where it started.

Speaker 4 And then what happened then?

Speaker 1 I pulled two knives on him. What? Two knives, bro? This is.
No, no, nine. Look at Rick.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. It was like this.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you did bad cat.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I did the reverse crane.
The reverse crane. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I go, you want to do it? Let's do it, dude.

Speaker 4 All right, but let me ask you this, though, okay? Yeah. The two knives incidents.

Speaker 1 That happened in Silver Lake. Let me finish.
Go ahead.

Speaker 4 Let me finish. Go ahead.
It happened in Silverlake, correct?

Speaker 1 Sanborn.

Speaker 4 Sanborn. That's in Silver Lake, right? Correct.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 What did I have to do the next morning?

Speaker 3 Okay, so... And I've thought about this.
If that wouldn't have happened, I don't think you would have booked Mad TV.

Speaker 1 That gave him the extra. So, whatever.
That gave him the extra edge.

Speaker 1 Don't worry, dodge the positive. You gave him the extra edge to book it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, that's the positive.

Speaker 1 No, can we hear the other side?

Speaker 1 I want to hear the other one.

Speaker 4 It was two in the morning, right?

Speaker 1 I'm so sorry. I feel horrible.
Come on. Let me just finish.

Speaker 4 It was two in the morning, right?

Speaker 4 The next morning at nine, I had to audition for my final audition at Matt TV, for Matt TV, right? Meanwhile, I'm dodging, you know what I mean?

Speaker 4 Not knives from him because he's going to kill me, right?

Speaker 4 He thinks that...

Speaker 1 What are you laughing at, Jules? He thinks that he's the reason why,

Speaker 4 right? Like when I was in the audition, I was just like, I better get this because I almost died.

Speaker 1 No, no,

Speaker 1 it gave him the hedge.

Speaker 1 It gave you an edge.

Speaker 1 It gave you an edge. So did you wake up the next day with...

Speaker 1 I did wake up.

Speaker 4 I didn't sleep.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 The point being, Doc, is he booked it.

Speaker 3 He booked it, man. He was off for nine years.
That's the point.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Did you thank him for that? No, it's not because of me.

Speaker 1 You're back on my side. Now he's back on my side.
Yeah, yeah. When somebody booked your life,

Speaker 1 you're older than him.

Speaker 1 You perform at your older.

Speaker 4 He literally thought that you were older than me.

Speaker 3 No, he just made a that was a common mistake.

Speaker 1 No, did you believe that?

Speaker 3 Doc, think about it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I did.

Speaker 1 I just suggested you thought you were the older brother. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so. But it's not a bad thing.
It's not a bad thing. It's an sister.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying? It's just a mishit.

Speaker 3 That hit me like a bullet of depression just hit me so hard, man. Damn it.

Speaker 1 Like, wow. That bad?

Speaker 3 I don't know. It kind of bothered me a little bit.

Speaker 4 Do you guys think that if we, us three, right, as a team, did that show alone?

Speaker 4 Us four, maybe.

Speaker 1 If they think of us four, you four.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's a survivalist show.

Speaker 4 You don't know what it is?

Speaker 3 You know, they'll drop them in Alaska somewhere.

Speaker 1 Oh, resort to snow.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they have to survive in the snow, gather wood, set traps.

Speaker 1 What? It's a survivalist show.

Speaker 3 It's a a survivalist show.

Speaker 1 What's the show that they had before surviving when they dropped them off?

Speaker 1 When they dropped them off naked or something? Man, come on, man. Yo, naked and afraid.
Naked and afraid. Okay, yeah.
Who knew that? Don't make it. Like, I watched a little bit.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Or if we did Naked and Afraid, right?

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 4 Us three naked, right?

Speaker 1 I should have.

Speaker 1 There's a survivalist show that I need to pick up.

Speaker 1 Like, they're going to cost. No, no, no.
But do we have to do that? I'm just saying. Okay,

Speaker 4 hypothetically, right? Yeah. Us three naked on Naked and Afraid, right? We're out in Lean and

Speaker 4 we're on like what?

Speaker 1 Columbia. No, Alaska.

Speaker 4 No, Columbia. Naked and Afraid is.

Speaker 1 Columbia?

Speaker 1 I thought it was cold. That's alone.
Oh, that's alone.

Speaker 4 Sorry, sorry, sorry. Naked and Afraid were in some sort of jungle.
Right, right, right. So we're naked.

Speaker 1 Oh, Colombia.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. I'm chilling.

Speaker 1 What the hell? What the fuck was that? What the hell?

Speaker 1 You did some Native American. You said some Native American tribal things.
Native language. We didn't see that, but it's like Columbia.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I thought I was with y'all. I'm not with y'all.

Speaker 1 I'm not there.

Speaker 1 Fuck. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We would die.

Speaker 3 Within a day, we would die.

Speaker 4 You don't think us three could do it?

Speaker 1 We wouldn't last a week. Y'all protected.
We would not last.

Speaker 1 We wouldn't last. Oh, no.
Yeah. There's no.
We would not survive. How do you know?

Speaker 3 Dude, insects, the weather, we need to start a fire. We need to find food.

Speaker 1 Insects is protein. It's a whole thing, dude.
Insects is protein. That's number one.
So we're going to be. So you bugs.
So that's that's we good.

Speaker 4 Maybe that's your job.

Speaker 4 We're naked, right?

Speaker 1 I go, Doc, go collect the bugs. There we go.

Speaker 4 How would you do it?

Speaker 1 What the net, right? No, we have no. What we don't have nothing, yeah, no, we have nothing.
Yeah, well, just come on. No, you have a tarpaulin.

Speaker 1 I mean, we just eat them as we see them. Like, I'm like, oh, that was a prana message.

Speaker 4 I think that should be your job. I think you're,

Speaker 4 I think you'd be that guy.

Speaker 1 Oh, that guy, but yeah, no, you save it all. Okay.
What are you going to do one at a time? No, you put

Speaker 1 it. No, we have a basket.
No, Bobby.

Speaker 4 Dude, I'm telling you right now, this is how I want it. That's how you want it.

Speaker 4 But we're on, as a team, we got to work something out, right?

Speaker 1 Okay. So you're Bud Guy.
What would you be?

Speaker 3 Get the water.

Speaker 4 How would you do it?

Speaker 1 I'd go to

Speaker 1 the water. Yeah, but what?

Speaker 1 I got the water.

Speaker 1 But where? The lake.

Speaker 3 I'd go to the lake.

Speaker 1 What if there's no lake?

Speaker 3 I'll go get a bucket.

Speaker 1 And then you buy a bucket. Yeah.
And then

Speaker 1 check this out. You can't have no goddamn bucket.
If I couldn't have my little shit to catch up.

Speaker 1 I would boil the water to make it drinkable.

Speaker 3 Where would you get the water, fuckface?

Speaker 1 And where would you boil it?

Speaker 4 There's no lake.

Speaker 1 Ain't no pots either. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Well, we need water or we're dead because that's

Speaker 1 your job.

Speaker 3 Maybe extract it from the leaves.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's a good one. Now you're thinking.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 3 Like, remember Tom Hanks Castaway. Remember what he did?

Speaker 6 What did he do?

Speaker 1 No, what do you do?

Speaker 3 He did that, right?

Speaker 1 With the leaves. He did that for real.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, remember?

Speaker 3 But he also had coconuts on the island.

Speaker 4 But I feel, you know what I feel like, though?

Speaker 1 You don't think I could do it? No, I know you can.

Speaker 3 I could totally do it.

Speaker 4 But can I be honest with you?

Speaker 1 Go ahead. Be honest with me, I mean.
Okay.

Speaker 4 If you're out doing that, right?

Speaker 4 I bet you take more water for yourself.

Speaker 1 No, I would never do that.

Speaker 1 No, I would never do that.

Speaker 4 You would get a couple more drugs.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, I wouldn't.

Speaker 1 I would do that.

Speaker 4 And you, and you would be eating more bugs than.

Speaker 6 Well, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, what about you, too? What about you? You're pointing fingers. What about you?

Speaker 1 What would you do? What would you do?

Speaker 4 I'm building a condo, baby.

Speaker 3 You ain't building nothing.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I'm building us a fortress, baby.

Speaker 1 Oh, out of what?

Speaker 1 Out of bamboo shoots? No, you. Out of the

Speaker 4 leaves.

Speaker 1 I do know. Oh, because you're in Colombia.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're not bamboozling. Now you get it, right?

Speaker 4 Now you get it, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I got bamboo shoots, right? I'm making elevated shit, right? Yeah. There's going to be a system where, like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 You need a machete, though. You, you need to.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we get to, we get it. We use rocks.

Speaker 1 So how many items do we get?

Speaker 4 How many items do we get? We all get one. So what would be your item? A net.

Speaker 3 Okay, so good. Because I've seen what they do.

Speaker 1 So we all get one item? Yeah, what do you want with your item?

Speaker 1 Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 I would have a spear.

Speaker 1 You could pay for what? Spearfishing. And a hunt.
Yeah, no lake, but...

Speaker 3 And a hunt.

Speaker 1 And a hunt. Oh, hunt.
But you got a machete.

Speaker 4 What do you think you could hunt?

Speaker 1 A lot of things. A lot of what? A lot of birds, foul.
A bird? With a spear? A lot of a foul.

Speaker 1 Wait, if you sneak up on him, you can

Speaker 1 with a spear. Yeah, I can chuck.

Speaker 1 I don't know your spear work, so. Yeah, well, really?

Speaker 1 You're doing a bad thing. So it's going to be like

Speaker 1 right through the goddamn heart.

Speaker 1 Look at that bird a half a mile away. Yeah.
Go get it, doc. That's what you can get.

Speaker 1 That's what you're thinking. I'm thinking more like an owl or something just sitting there.

Speaker 4 Oh, a Colombian owl.

Speaker 1 Yeah, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Something right there in the vicinity. It ain't got to be a

Speaker 1 walk in the

Speaker 1 jungle. He could do it.
Oh, really? Yeah. Wow, boy.
How the fuck do you know? I just know.

Speaker 1 Spear bore. Yeah.
Dude, they're triple your size. Well, you know him Rambo first.

Speaker 1 I'm not. No, Rambo first blood.

Speaker 3 Remember Conko's on top of the tree.

Speaker 1 You think he's John Rambo?

Speaker 1 Well, you know what Rambo did. No, but he's not John Rambo.

Speaker 1 Pick up John Rambo.

Speaker 1 My brother thinks my brother thinks he's a picture of John Rambo. My brother thinks he's a dog.
First blood, John Jay Rambo. That guy.
Yeah, John Jay Rambo.

Speaker 1 Totally identical.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. He has a mud.
No, that's Jules. No, he could do it.
No, rip the scene.

Speaker 4 This guy did it in the movie. You think that's him?

Speaker 1 He could do it. No.
Yeah, he could do it. There's no way.
Yeah, I think he could. I think I could.
Yeah. But you remember the scene, right?

Speaker 3 He's on top of the tree branch. Yeah.
And he boom, he gets a bore.

Speaker 4 I feel like you, though, dude.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 And I'm not doing a joke

Speaker 4 about your size, or I'm not doing a joke about, you know what I mean, anything about that.

Speaker 3 There it is. That's the scene.

Speaker 4 That's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 Dude, that's dumb. I'm just going to tell you, bro.
Doc Boyd is wearing his chawa outfit.

Speaker 1 He's wearing his jaw outfit.

Speaker 1 All right, so what it is, don't get it. Don't get mad,

Speaker 1 all right. I got you,

Speaker 1 I got you.

Speaker 1 I got you back.

Speaker 1 Don't let it.

Speaker 1 Everything's fine. We good.
Just breathe, okay?

Speaker 4 Yeah, so I, you know, I honestly, and and and this is not a joke to him. I think this is a positive thing.
I'm being real. Go ahead.
I feel like us three would be naked, right?

Speaker 1 What? Go ahead. Go ahead.
No, I'm being. This is where.

Speaker 4 And we're like walking along. We're like, oh, we're complaining, right?

Speaker 4 And then Doc kind of goes, imagine this. He goes, stop.

Speaker 4 And he senses something in a tree in the horizon.

Speaker 4 Guess what he senses?

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 4 Predator from the movie.

Speaker 1 Predator.

Speaker 1 What the f?

Speaker 1 Man, I don't like that. That made no sense whatsoever.

Speaker 1 That made no sense. What are you just saying?

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 No, that's not what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. All right.

Speaker 1 What are you referring to?

Speaker 3 What are you getting at?

Speaker 1 Do you ever saw the movie Predator? I own it. I love Predator.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Out there on the trees?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh,

Speaker 1 so he has that. You trying to give him an ability.

Speaker 3 Oh, so he has an ultra ability.

Speaker 1 Oh, you call him Carl Weather? I'm not saying Carl Weather. I'm not saying Carl Weather.
No, that's not one. You know, know,

Speaker 4 he was the native guy that it was the native guy that sensed him.

Speaker 1 Okay. Do you remember? Oh, you're right.
You're right. I'm from a world.
So, anyway, I think we would last

Speaker 4 six hours.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
You have no faith.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. In our ability.

Speaker 4 I ain't eating no fucking bug, bro.

Speaker 4 I mean, that's your meal, dude.

Speaker 3 Well, what would you, how would we catch food? Bro, how would you eat? Snares?

Speaker 1 No, man.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I'm a meat collector, dude.

Speaker 3 How are you going to find nuts?

Speaker 1 It might be poison. But yeah, there's a lot of fruit and vegetables and stuff out there.

Speaker 1 Focusing us out. Hey, guys, I found a carrot.

Speaker 1 Imagine vegetable. Hey, you guys, I found two potatoes and carrot.
It's over fucking quartz.

Speaker 1 I found a can of VF out here.

Speaker 1 If I told you that juice, guys, I imagine that's trying to get a gay can and what's that? We're found clemato. Yeah, we're in a rouse.

Speaker 1 He lured us into a rouse in the the middle. He's like, there's a fruits and vegetable out in the middle of the window.

Speaker 1 We do.

Speaker 1 There's no fruits and vegetables out there, man.

Speaker 4 But there are nuts and stuff, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. What about bananas? Ain't no.

Speaker 1 It's got to be something like that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some bananas.
But, you know, some of those berries and stuff are poisonous. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You got to know you.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I think water is the most important thing.
Oh, yeah. But I think the mosquitoes would eat us up alive.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 He kill us. What? If we're in Columbia, we got to worry about like tigers and stuff like that.
Yeah, panthers, panthers, panthers, panthers. Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 4 Bloody good, you think? If you killed one?

Speaker 1 I would eat it. I wouldn't eat it.
No, I would eat it. You would eat a panther? Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 For three days. Yeah.
That's funny. Would you rather eat the bugs?

Speaker 1 If you eat the bugs, we'll eat the panther now.

Speaker 1 You're going to eat a panther. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm going to be smashing bugs.

Speaker 4 That's it. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You would not eat a panther. No.
Yeah, yeah. If you're hungry, you would.

Speaker 3 If you're hungry, you would.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Okay. That's for damn sure.
You would.

Speaker 1 If I got enough bugs, I'm good.

Speaker 4 Let me ask you this.

Speaker 1 I don't think so. What if

Speaker 4 let's say it wasn't a show?

Speaker 4 It wasn't a show. We were in a survival situation, right?

Speaker 4 And one of us dies, right?

Speaker 3 I would never eat them. I wouldn't eat him or you.

Speaker 3 I know what you're getting at. I would not eat you guys.

Speaker 1 Why? Because you're my brother. I know, but I'm dead.

Speaker 3 I know, but it just wouldn't feel right.

Speaker 1 Oh, hell no. That's what you was alluding to.

Speaker 1 I know him well. I know him well.
You ain't alive. I eat both of you.
You would, dad. Yeah, I would eat both of you, dude.
That's what you would do.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it would be like a rotisserie thing, stick sticking out of your mouth.

Speaker 1 You would eat your brother. Yeah, you're being fucking twirled.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 I don't give a fuck, dude. And I would take a knife and just slowly, you know what I mean? A little bit of.

Speaker 1 You would eat my nut. You would not eat my nuts.

Speaker 4 Okay, I would not eat your nut sack.

Speaker 1 No. Okay.

Speaker 4 Okay. Because I don't want it.

Speaker 1 Well, it's dry. It's dry skin.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I don't like that.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay, no problem. Is that pure getting it? Yeah, yeah.
I'm old. You want to see it? No, no.
You're fucking fucking

Speaker 1 talking about it. I'm sorry.
Dog? That's all. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's all here yeah

Speaker 4 so um

Speaker 1 all right well then that's good man i feel like yeah yeah i feel like we accomplished something yeah how many meals do you eat i only eat one meal a day do you eat more than one meal yeah i don't i eat twice i eat one one meal yeah why i don't know

Speaker 1 that's the only answer you got yeah i just need one is that wrong

Speaker 1 I don't know. Okay.
Because they say you're supposed to eat three times and you're fucking only eating once. I feel great, though.
Yeah, you look good.

Speaker 3 Well, it's called intermittent fasting.

Speaker 1 Interminute fasting. Yeah, that's what it is.
That's what it is.

Speaker 3 You eat one meal a day. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah.
For how long you been doing that?

Speaker 3 For a year now, I think.

Speaker 1 And Bobby eats like, what, four or five?

Speaker 3 Oh, Darby, you eat a lot, dude. So many.

Speaker 1 You eat a lot. So rude.

Speaker 1 I just asked him.

Speaker 3 You know, he orders customized

Speaker 3 pan pizzas from somewhere and they deliver it, like these thick pizzas. He puts them in the oven.
He eats gourmet shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 3 No, I'm just saying. I'm just that's

Speaker 1 only

Speaker 4 dejarno.

Speaker 3 No, I'm just saying that's good.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's it's it's a privilege to eat that. That's all I'm saying.
Is that a privilege? No, no, it's like a couple extra pumps. I want to do that.
Not everyone could do that.

Speaker 3 That's all I'm saying.

Speaker 1 Everyone can do it.

Speaker 3 No, no, no, no. They go to the grocery store, they get like dejiarnos.

Speaker 1 That's what you're saying. That's what I'm saying.
Yeah. That's what I get.
But now you present it. I get desarnos.
No, no, no, no. I'm not shaming you.

Speaker 1 I'm not shaming you. You get the little mini.
You love the little mini dejarno. The celeste.
Yeah, the celeste. The celesti's.
No, not the celesti's.

Speaker 1 Dijarno's got the little small ones, too. I like those.
Oh, they do. But you don't have them.

Speaker 3 You don't need those.

Speaker 4 You want to talk about

Speaker 4 the dinner we had?

Speaker 3 What dinner?

Speaker 1 Well, you know, let's

Speaker 1 be mindful about it, though, you know, because it was

Speaker 1 a nice experience. I thought it was good.
Okay, go ahead. You had dinner today? No, Kalila made reservations to

Speaker 3 a double Michelin star sushi restaurant that was very exclusive.

Speaker 3 Very good. Very, very exclusive.
Where, dude, there was a sign where you can't talk in there. There's like rules.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah. And then when there's no fucking restaurant, I can't talk in there.

Speaker 4 And then there was this complete silence.

Speaker 3 No, this is a whole different thing. Yeah, it's a whole different thing there.

Speaker 4 It was all. And then when we showed up, what happened?

Speaker 1 What's the theme of the restaurant? Dude, there's only five other people in there.

Speaker 3 They have to do like reservations like a year in advance.

Speaker 1 What type of food is this?

Speaker 3 It's the rarest Japanese fish like that, like

Speaker 3 to an okinawa.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 3 Like these rare fishes that are sea urchins. Like, yeah, just rare stuff.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 And they would, uh, we would sit there, and it's one of those places where you don't, you can't order anything.

Speaker 3 They just bring it to you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What the fuck? What if you have a.

Speaker 1 It's like in 25

Speaker 1 just go at it. That ain't.
I don't do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you don't know what the fuck you eat. Exactly.
No, they don't. You do.
No, no, no. No, because they show you.

Speaker 1 They show you.

Speaker 1 With the iPad.

Speaker 1 He's a fucking michelle. I'll start fucking chef.
Yeah, you trust him. Oh, bro.
Well, we're not going to bring you there.

Speaker 4 How embarrassing would it be with him there?

Speaker 1 Yeah, because I'm going to tell you. Hey, man, we're going to go there.
No, no, no, no. I cry my goddamn people.
No, no, no, no, no. There's a code.

Speaker 1 You have to eat it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah. You have to eat it.

Speaker 1 You have to eat whatever they bring.

Speaker 3 Dude, it's an $800.

Speaker 1 It's a crazy price.

Speaker 3 It's an $800.

Speaker 1 You have to be able to talk for $800. That ain't a lot of money.
I'm going to say talk to somebody. What are you going to say?

Speaker 1 Bring me a sandwich. I got to say something a sandwich.
Something that I want. You can't go on.
There's no menu. There's no menu.
There's no menu, dog. There's no menu, dog.

Speaker 1 I'm here to try. I'm just saying.
You have to take it with a presentation. Listen to how weird that is.
I'm just sitting here. Can some motherfucker just go bon appetite and just walk away?

Speaker 1 No, we can't. No, you have to get it.
You know what the fuck this guy is doing? They show you.

Speaker 3 They show you like a sea urchin with spikes.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. Yeah, I know.
It's crazy.

Speaker 1 But go ahead.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so it was sea urchins and a lot of

Speaker 1 caviar. Caviar, a lot of caviar.

Speaker 3 Caviar soup thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Fish eggs. Fish eggs and stuff.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 And it was a pretty good meal, no?

Speaker 1 Pretty good, pretty good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, pretty good stuff. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it was pretty good stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I heard it good. But

Speaker 1 we got the fuck out of there.

Speaker 4 We didn't finish it.

Speaker 3 It was a lot, though. And you had a set to do at the end of

Speaker 1 two and a half hours long. Yeah, it was a long.

Speaker 3 It was a whole experience, man.

Speaker 4 Imagine not talking for two and a half hours.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's... That's what I'm saying.
For 800 bucks? Yeah, yeah. Fuck.
A piece.

Speaker 3 I mean, they make their own wasabi.

Speaker 1 Remember that? No, no, it was 400 apiece. Oh, you're right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 400 pieces, it was 800. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's crazy.

Speaker 4 They make their own wasabi. It was pretty good, though.
Yeah. Yeah.
But it was a nice, fun experience with you. Yeah, sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 So let's think, Kalila. Thanks again, Kalila.

Speaker 1 Are you guys doing things together all the time?

Speaker 3 Oh, no, not really. I haven't seen this guy in a long time.
He's a busy guy.

Speaker 4 He did come over. I mean, you know, during the pandemic, we didn't see each other a lot.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 But he's my brother, you know. I know where he is.
You know what I mean? Yeah. He's difficult because he doesn't keep his ringer on.

Speaker 3 Yeah, do not disturb. Right.

Speaker 4 So it's like. Do not disturb? The only way you can call him.

Speaker 1 What if it's emergency? I don't know.

Speaker 3 I just, whenever I hear the sound.

Speaker 1 Well, why do not just sign up?

Speaker 3 I just, you know, I just, it gives me an answer.

Speaker 1 It gives me anxiety. Like, you know, like the sound.

Speaker 1 Why do you even have a cell phone in? I don't know.

Speaker 3 I just, I just like, you know, I'll check it when I check it, and then I always hit your back, and everything's fine.

Speaker 4 I'll say, yeah, I'll say, call me, and then

Speaker 1 I'll call you back. Okay.

Speaker 3 And that's a wrap. Thanks for tuning in to Bad Friends, okay?

Speaker 1 Episode 229, okay?

Speaker 1 Who the fuck is that? That's Bobby. Oh, that?

Speaker 1 Oh, dude, that looks like you.

Speaker 3 Is that you, Bob?

Speaker 1 Who the fuck?

Speaker 3 Dude, that's you.

Speaker 1 You in makeup? What is this?

Speaker 1 Is that you, dude? That's not me, dude. Dude, that looks exactly like you.

Speaker 1 Dude, that looks like Bobby.

Speaker 1 Holy smokes, is that you?

Speaker 1 That's you, dude. That's not me, dude.
That's you.

Speaker 1 I don't look like that.

Speaker 3 The face is exact, right, dog bro that's your doppelganger right dude that's your doppelganger holy dude is that you bub yeah that's me

Speaker 1 why would you do that dog like

Speaker 1 i'm over here like man this dude looks just like

Speaker 4 yeah yeah i i have a video i want i have a video that i want you guys to laugh at if we go ahead go ahead so um i got one too after you you got one yeah

Speaker 1 all right so go to youtube okay this is

Speaker 4 let me explain mine let me explain okay okay okay i got a good one though i got a good one after you so this one's called, I ain't gay no more.

Speaker 1 Okay, type of thing.

Speaker 4 So, right. So, what it is.

Speaker 3 So, the point is, we don't laugh. We don't, right? We watch the video.
We don't laugh.

Speaker 4 So, right, so it's basically he goes to church. He's obviously gay, right? Yeah.
But now that he's church, he wants to say you're like that he's not, he's saved.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he's a Christian now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's a Christian.

Speaker 4 So he really believes it, right? But it's like, you know, deep down inside, he's.

Speaker 1 Yeah, gotcha.

Speaker 1 Okay, so don't, like,

Speaker 3 so the point is, we don't laugh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 So start from the beginning.

Speaker 1 Do you believe that the Lord tonight has set you free? Yes, sir.

Speaker 1 Turn around and tell those people.

Speaker 1 Tell them.

Speaker 4 I'm not gay no more.

Speaker 1 I am delivered.

Speaker 1 I don't like men no more.

Speaker 1 I thought I like women.

Speaker 1 Women, women, women.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 that dude got sad right there. Yeah, look up.

Speaker 3 Okay, he's still dancing.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. I'm getting it in.
That was funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's funny. That was funny.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 But there's videos now of him now going, that was just, you know.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 3 Yeah. That's it.
My turn. Your turn.
Go ahead. Okay, so pull up.
Okay, so let me.

Speaker 1 You can't hear anything, by the way. No, I'm over here.
Okay, let me

Speaker 3 this premise is. Okay, it's type in virginity is virginity is cool.

Speaker 4 I know this one already.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 3 Well, let's show it to Doc.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but he can't even hear it.

Speaker 4 And it's not even that funny.

Speaker 1 I think it's funny.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 3 Okay. Try not to laugh.
Go ahead.

Speaker 5 Virginity is cool. Come on, come on.
Virginity is cool. What up? Virginity is cool.
He's got it. He's got virginity is cool.
Come on, come on. Virginity is cool.
What up? What up?

Speaker 3 They don't get the joke. All right.

Speaker 1 It's funny. Jules, did you like it? Yeah.
Virginity is cool. Come on now.
Yeah, it's funny. It is cool, though.

Speaker 3 Because I went to

Speaker 1 go to church. It is cool.
I used to go to church. Virginity is cool.
It is cool. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So that's it. So I got to pull up a funny video.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you just tell them to type something in that you think will make us laugh, and then we'll watch it. Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Teddy bear prank

Speaker 1 with the black.

Speaker 1 What, man? I thought that the teddy bear prank is funny.

Speaker 3 You know what? I'm going to give you a shot.

Speaker 1 Teddy Bear Prank.

Speaker 3 I think this will be a good one.

Speaker 4 Who's in the bear suit?

Speaker 1 He is. Oh, he's scarce.
He's trying to screw. He scares this kid.
Yeah, he's scaring his father.

Speaker 3 Oh, he's scaring his father. Oh, yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Do they got them on the law? Do they got your mother curfew?

Speaker 1 Yeah, man. They shut the city down.
I said, Motherfucker was trying to barbecue and all kinds of shit. Like, they don't get no fucking

Speaker 4 out of here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, motherfuckers. That's a late party.

Speaker 1 Just always let's make fun of those

Speaker 1 shit down. They can't shit no more.

Speaker 1 Right. My motherfucker did my bad.

Speaker 1 Huh?

Speaker 4 Oh, they were still outside.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they still outside. Yeah, I know.
I told a bitch that the other day, I come out with my bus on with the with the hands signed down. I'm like, oh, let me grab my club.

Speaker 1 Get the ass eat there, cause you know what? Y'all got one.

Speaker 1 He's so scared.

Speaker 1 He's got a knife.

Speaker 4 He's got a knife?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he got a knife. He's got it on your stamp.
That's a good one.

Speaker 1 Holy smokes.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 That was good.

Speaker 4 You know what?

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 4 That was so dangerous.

Speaker 1 That was good.

Speaker 1 Somebody could have died. Oh, I know, but that was good.

Speaker 1 They committed to it. Yeah, yeah.
They committed to it. That was a good one.

Speaker 1 That was better than both ours.

Speaker 1 Grab your motherfucker.

Speaker 1 Anyway, thank you for being

Speaker 1 friends.

Speaker 1 My bad. I didn't know we were going to say it at the same time.

Speaker 1 I already know some topics we can talk about. That'd be funny.

Speaker 1 You have to ask me if I've seen this quick. Ask me about this.
Quick games. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the quid.

Speaker 4 10 minutes, right?

Speaker 1 Ask me about that.

Speaker 1 No, but that's why we get home.

Speaker 1 We hope you've seen that. That's the same thing.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 3 Save that for the podcast.

Speaker 3 You asked me that. That's a 20-minute thing right there.

Speaker 1 That's not 20 minutes. No, it's.

Speaker 1 You know who else is going to be there, right? Oh, Doc. Oh, I love Doc.
Little Doc? That's my home. I love Doc.
Okay. Little Doc's in a new doc.

Speaker 1 Doc for the Dorman Doc from the comedy store years ago? No, my doctor. Dr.
Kau Shray.

Speaker 4 No, the doctor with the glasses. You know my doctor, Dr.

Speaker 1 Kau Shri.

Speaker 1 Hey, will you stop filming?