Bonus Episode: Drop Out of College feat Lil Esther

Hey!

It's a bonus episode! This is our first bonus episode. Yo, Andrew.
Do you play games on your phone? I do. I only play games on my phone.
And what's your favorite game on the phone? Oh, Candy Crush. You know what? That's all they need.
That's all you need is Candy Crush on your phone. I don't know why you go...
The app store should just be the Candy Crush app store. You open games, it just goes to Candy Crush? That makes sense.
Hey, everybody, how about a shout out for this bonus Friday episode sponsored by Candy Crush? We don't do bonus episodes. We don't.
It's only a special engagement like this we do it. This is special.
Very special. Candy Crush is making it special for us.
We all know and absolutely love Candy Crush. The Candy Crush All-Stars Tournament is live now and still in the qualifying round.
It's early. Andrew, all you have to do is classify as the top player in your leaderboard to move forward and compete against everyone in america everybody and bobby and i are athletes we're champions we're both very good bobby's better than me but that's fine we've been playing and if you think you can beat us i dare you to try you can hit the link in the description to join in on the action everyone can play and anyone can win.
Divine. You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.
You two are something. We're bad friends.
Let me just ask my fucking questions. Can I just ask my fucking questions? Everyone calm down.

Let me just ask my questions.

Stop looking at me like I don't know. Are we rolling?

Let me just ask my questions.

How did this come about?

Do you want to talk into the microphone?

We're not starting this.

This is not podcast fire.

Yes, we are.

How did this come about?

Do you want to introduce the team first of all?

I mean, they look like the Von Trapp family.

This is. This is the sound of music.
Up on a hill in. Yeah.
Yeah. Do, a deer, a female deer.
Ray, a bunch of fun and son. Me, a name.
I call myself. Esther.
Do. Or a long, long way to ride.
Yeah, yeah. Showing off.
Show Showing off You had to be on key Ladies and gentlemen, Esther Povitsky is in the house Give it up for Esther Povitsky And Devon Trump family No, let me acknowledge Fucking Esther Don't roll me Esther, thank you so much For coming to the show Thank you so much For having me I was told to just show up And be quiet Correct, but bring the mic To your face That's what we do We always yell at her about mic to the face. Okay.
So you're auditioning to take over Rudy's spot. Esther, of course, is one third of the...
I guess you're not really one third. You're like...
Because you're not a full size. You're a fun size, so you're like one...
Bro, bro, bro. I swear to God, she's not a dwarf or anything like that.
Yeah, she is. Oh, you are? No, legally, no.
No, legally, no. But...
Yeah, but rumor-wise. But from afar, if you were hanging out with Brad Williams from afar, they'd be like, look, there's two of them.
Would that happen, do you think? Esther is one-third of the Great Trash Tuesday podcast with Kalilah Kuhn and Annie Letterman. Can you say dwarf? Thank you for coming.
Is that illegal? I really appreciate it. Little person.
Is that how you say it? She's not. She's as tall as you, by Don't.
And I'm not defending my size. I'm a little guy.
You're a little tiny guy. And I have a fucked up body.
And speaking of fucked up bodies. What? We have the Candy Crush team here.
So the Candy Crush crew is here. They're not fucked up.
They're pure. They're pure people.
And that's my little sis. Do you know that's my sister for real? Is that really your sister? Yes Why? What do you mean why? But first of all I know There's like one more attractive I know But can you take your mask down So I can look at your face? That's my sister That is your sister It is You work for Candy Crush? No I'm the intern She's interning She's interning? Yeah Is she staying with you? No, she's staying at a hotel.
Yeah, she's staying at my house. Congratulations.
Thank you. And that's what your sister looks like.
She's very attractive. That's enough.
I didn't. I wasn't.
I wasn't hitting on her. That sounded like it.
You just called the intern attractive. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Problematic.
Is that problematic? Yes, I like it. Esther's our HR.
What's your sister's name again? Guess. What does she look like? Livia.
Huh? Livia? Livia's not that bad. Lydia.
Oh, Lydia? Livia or Lydia? Well, you tell me. You're guessing, not me.
Alice. Okay, Alice.
Yeah, yeah. Lydia, and what's the third? I want it to be Montgomery.
And Montgomery. Good guess.
I've never met a woman named Montgomery. name Montgomery Montgomery Santino That's the name

Well we have different last names

But yeah

Oh we have different

Oh because

Because

Let me guess

Well

I hope you know

After all these years

I do

I actually do

Yeah

You had the same

But she's like prince

Or whatever

They want to change their name

To like a symbol

So she changed it to

Something else

That's right

Like a symbol of something

That's right

So what's the symbol?

Thank you. She's like prince or whatever.
They want to change their name to like a symbol. So she changed it to something else.

That's right. Like a symbol of something.

That's right.

So what's the symbol?

This?

Show them your symbol.

That's it.

Oh, that's a symbol.

That's it.

So her name is Montgomery.

No.

Her name is Lakina, but she goes by Locke.

Lakina.

By Locke.

But she goes by L-O-C.

Let's go back to the Candy Crush?

Yeah, sure. That's Candy Crush.
We did the, no, I want to ask some questions before we even begin. Okay.
So you're the president. You created Candy Crush.
He's one of the developers of Candy Crush. You developed it.
How many developers were there? Like around 15. Oh, so it's not...
15. That's big.
It's big. That's great.
Yeah. You're one of 15, and do you get a piece of the pie? Yeah.
You get a piece of the Candy Crush pie. So you have some...
Because Candy Crush is killing it. A lot of money.
So you got... You're a rich guy now.
You're doing well. Yeah.
Right? He's killing it. You don't ever have to work again.
Can't you tell? Yeah. Yeah, I know.
I know. No, because I can i can because the shirt is a polo and it doesn't look like a vintage it looks brand new so that's some money you mean those slides are something i would wear so you know that's dope the shorts i don't know the legs are fucking millions those are brand new those legs are fucking those are new legs lieutenant dan the next evolution of white legs and you think of Cherry's shirt? What do you think she does? She is PR.
Tell them what you do. You're right.
Yeah, you are right. You're right.
Are you PR? She does public relations. You do public relations.
She does. I don't even know what that does.
I know you don't. Thank you.
But why don't you guess? They deal with like social media, also creating like, contacting like newspapers and ad agencies and this and that to promote their... Let's go to Esther to figure it out.
Well, it's interesting that your first go-to for marketing is newspapers. I said social media first.
No, you did say newspapers. But yeah, marketing, social media, yeah.
Why is newspapers such a bad guess? I think that would be a bad place to advertise candy crush.

You summon through a lot of newspapers?

No, if I'm at the LA Weekly and the last thing was a bunch of candies being crushed together. Last time you read in LA Weekly?

15 years ago.

Yeah.

What the fuck are you talking about?

Okay.

Well, they would...

But did they contact like...

Fuck.

Like Ellen.

Yes. They'll contact Ellen.
She could contact Ellen. Have you contacted Ellen? Not recently.
Yeah, yeah. But you have in your life? Yeah.
There we go. Bingo.
There you go. Can we go around? Yeah, please.
Stand up, please. No, don't boss her around physically.
That's so weird. I just can't fucking see her.
She's right there. I can't fucking see her.
She's seven feet away from us. Yeah, yeah.
Take your mask down, please. No, no.
All right, so. You can't tell people what to physically do.
So thank you for standing. And I got a whole thing.
You work also a part of the group? You're a part of the group? Yeah, I want you to take a guess as well. What do you think she does? Is there offices there? What? Is there a physical office they work from a van they bought a candy crush van yeah yes there are offices but all these people work in different locations even more interesting oh wow yeah you're europe esther what do you think she does what do you think she does for the company i can't like imagine other positions there marketing.
Is there like office supply organization?

No, no, no.

That's rude.

That's so funny.

No, I wasn't even looking.

You do pencils, you do pens.

You do paper, you do staples.

No, you're like a associate producer where you-

Oh, an AP.

Like an AP where you deal with money.

Oh, wow.

You know what I mean?

What?

She's in the finance department.

Am I right?

So you're pretty close.

Okay.

That's really good.

You're like so far,

you're like three for three.

And then the last girl on the far right...

Or, also, or...

I'm sorry, go ahead.

Sorry.

Or...

Or?

They don't even work for Candy Crush

and this is your sister's friends

and they're in town and they're just here. Oh, it gets spicy.
Yeah, so that could be also. Is that another option? That's an option, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What do you think? Well, what do you think this last... If she worked for Candy Crush, looking at her eyes.
You're not going to believe it when I tell you. Okay, I'm going to say janitorial.
I mean. Right on the money.
I'm kidding. No, she is the poop cleaner.
No, no. Your social media.
Yeah, kind of. Yeah, yeah.
You kind of just social media. On the game, they like have animated people.
She's one of the main models that they animated them off of.

Really?

Yeah, she's the one.

Wow.

She was the first one.

These two went to school together.

Which ones?

This gentleman, the developer.

I want to see everyone's name so I can memorize it.

Go ahead.

Let's see if you can try.

Montgomery.

Montgomery.

We got that.

Montgomery symbol.

You.

Matthew. Vera.
Vera. Like Wang.
Montgomery Montgomery symbol Matthew Vera

Like Wang

Do word association

Matthew McConaughey

Vera Wang

Victoria Beckham

Beckham

Victoria Vectum

Victoria Vectum

What's Vectum?

Victoria Vectum

Victoria Vectum. Victoria Vectum.
Perfect. What's Vectum? Victoria Vectum? Who's Beck Vectum? What'd you say? Victoria Beckham.
Is that David Beckham's wife? Spice up your life. I love it.
She's one of my favorite ones. In the last human? Yes.
Sophie. Sophie's Choice.
Sophie's Choice. So at the end of the podcast, we're going to go back and see if you remember their names.
I know it now. Alright,.
So let's talk about the rules of what we talk about. So obviously, we all know how Candy Crush is played.
You played Candy Crush before? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
All right. Can I tell you what's really going on? Yeah, tell me.
Because I know you want to know. I do.
So that girl right there is not my sister. Okay.
None of these people work for Candy Crush whatsoever. Okay.
Yeah. These are Andreas's students.
For what? The film school kid or the whatever it is. Are you serious? Yeah.
I believe that. Yeah.
That was the point of it. What school do you guys go to? Quinnipiac.
Quinnipiac. Quinnipiac.
Quinnipiac. Where's Quinnipiac at? Quinnipiac is where? Connecticut.
What are you doing here?'re just having a good time You're having a good time Some sort of internship? Yeah, they're interns For Andreas? No, we all have different internships In different companies Andreas is He runs the program What? Andreas is. What? Andres is a teacher?

How is he a teacher?

He's not even an American.

He can't even speak English.

It's insane.

They hired a non-English speaking guy to teach.

Did he even go to college?

No.

Why him?

I don't know.

Yeah, yeah.

I think we think Spanish people are astute and fancy.

Is it the fancy accent?

Yeah.

Do you like him?

Yeah.

You like Andres? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
Did he he tell you did you guys know that we call him fancy b yeah some of you do you know why we call him fancy b why do you guys not know i guess you'll never know so fancy what would the b stand for? Only Spanish, so... Or Mexican.

I'm going to give you a hint.

Maybe you should say it.

No, because I already know what it is.

This is a game.

So what do you think it might be?

Beats me.

Yeah, yeah.

Fancy beats me.

Beats me.

Fancy beats me.

What are you trying to say?

What are you saying?

Fancy beats.

He likes it.

Close your hand if you need help.

Esther, how have you been?

Good.

How about you?

What's wrong with you?

That's uncomfortable. No, I'm not high.
She doesn't know. This is weird for her.
She's not used to this. You know her highness now, right? I know about you smoking a lot of weed lately.
I take edibles. I start, yeah, for the first time.
What are you guys whispering about? What is it? What? What about you? About what? I'm dressed wrong? I smell weird? No, no i'm ugly do you want me to put them in the other room no i know i like them here okay because we never had an audition audience before all right what the fuck is your problem which one are you talking to all of them no no who specifically are you talking to over there i knew you wouldn't remember i will i will um Victoria that's the one in the corner that's exactly who I'm talking to

oh that's who you're talking to Esther what's up with the What's up with the weed intake I've been sober like for 33 years And then this summer I had to Take like a really strong pain pill And I was like oh i like how that felt and so then literally how like addiction starts yeah and i was an opiate yeah which one it was hydrocodone oh my favorite so good it's so good so you took hydrocodone and i was like oh i want more of that and then some of my friends were like we don't think you should like get into pills yeah I think what you're looking for is pot. And then I tried smoking like a thing, but it was making me cough.
So I'm like, oh, gummies. So now weed gummies.
I'll do like five or 10 milligrams at night. Perfect.
I cannot believe how amazing it is. I can't believe you've gone so long without us.
You came to my party high. Yeah.
You were high. Yeah, yeah.
A little high. Yeah, I could tell.
Is that bad? Like, I don't know.

What was I doing to you

when I would walk by you?

You came into my ear

and you were like,

do-ka-dee-ka-dee.

That's what he does.

Yeah.

Do-ka-dee-ka-dee.

Right?

And you would laugh.

You said into my ear what?

What?

What did you say in my ear

when you walked by?

Yours?

Mm-hmm.

I said,

I can't say it.

Say it.

I said,

I love you.

Mm-hmm., I love you.

Because I love him.

Do you take edibles?

You know, no.

But his eyebrows do. Look at those fucking eyebrows.

No, I don't like edibles.

I like smoking weed.

I like smoking a joint once in a while.

I just can't believe how, sorry, I know Bobby's sober.

Is this inappropriate?

I'm just jonesing. I'm sorry, never mind watching jeopardy too that's also fun while you're high both yeah you guys smoke weed well here's the deal you're in the state of california it's legal here you know that right there's nothing like mysterious and weird about it you guys are 18 they're all above they're all of age they're all adults so you can go to a store you can legally do it in fact when we were talking to you guys across the street from the improv when I said hi to you guys.
Oh, they are because I saw a photo. That's right.
I don't know what they're doing here then. Andres brought them.
Do you don't like their presence? No, I love them a lot. Are you guys all from Connecticut? No.
Where are you guys all from? Just say it real quick. Go.
Montgomery. New York City.
Can't you tell? Yeah, I can tell. She had that New York.
I'm from New York City. She had that New York accent.
Boston. I'm also New York.
New York? Boston. Boston.
Maine. Maine.
Maine. Yeah, Quinnipiac.
Maine. You ever heard of this school? Yeah, John Campanelli went there.
Did he really? Yeah. What's liberal arts right what is it known for are you guys sure you're going to school there they have no fucking idea i think i asked them that other night i said what is it and they're like yeah it's kind of like this is so this is what this is it's a small private school this is where mom and dad were like where do you want to go and they're like we're not smart enough to get into harvard right and and look at that they're yeah that's their bragging right we're close to yale but they can't get into fucking yale they can't even go to like the games how much does it cost a year 60 grand you went to where university you went to u of i didn't Look at you.
You stayed in Illinois like a good girl. My parents made me, and then I quit.
Where'd you go? Oh. Yeah, sure.
It's kind of funny. I'm wearing this shirt.
I didn't mean to wear this shirt, but I did. Yeah, I went to Arizona State.
I wanted to get the fuck out of Illinois. I was not going to stay.
Everybody I know went to Illinois, Iowa, Nebraska. Miami of Ohio.
Ugh. Yeah.
And then some of my smart friends went to, like, Michigan. Yes, I did not get in there.
No chance. I don't want to talk about this.
You didn't get in anywhere, did you, bud? No, I don't want to. How many schools did you apply to when you were in high school? I applied to one I didn't get in.
What was it called? DeVry. Didn't get in.
Rejected. So, yeah, I couldn't get in.
Yeah. Did you really apply to anywhere? I I went to Palomar The It's a community college Yeah That's a good That's a good CC What does Palomar CC rank On community colleges? I think it ranked Look at that Look at the symbol It's nice Palomar college That's it Shout out to Palomar college Yeah I went to Four weeks of it and then I ended up going there they have these little piano rooms so they have these little tiny rooms right instead of going to class right I would just go and they have little mini rooms where you can close the door how perfect for little Asian boys to sneak in little piano rooms like little magnets for you guys I know they just place them around schools yeah how are we going to trap the Asians on this campus? Right, right, right.
Put a little piano rooms all over this motherfucker. It's funny because one of the rooms has a piano, the other one had like nunchucks.
I would go in there and do two hours of just practicing on that, right? One just has a walk. Teach yourself how to walk.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And at Quinnipiac, We talked and you guys were doing all different things.
Only one of you.

You are in the film business.

Not really.

No, you are.

Yes.

You are too.

I thought.

I'm doing production.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, you're in film.

That's film.

And then you are.

She's in production.

Yeah.

You're in production.

And you are too.

Yeah.

And what are you doing?

So I'm a double major and I'm minoring in film.

Stop fucking brag to us.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah. We're blue collar dropouts.
We don't need you fucking boasting. What are you going to do in film? Or you want to be...
I want to be a screenwriter and actress. Okay.
Oh, awesome. Get her out of here.
Immediately. Hey! Hey! All right, everyone.
This episode of Bad Friends is sponsored by my favorite game. One of my favorite games of all time which is Candy Crush and this is sponsored by Candy Crush All Stars the All Stars Bobby and I have been killing it we've been playing off camera off show but now we gotta do the show so we can't crush as much as we want to and I think I might be doing better than Bobby you're not no you don't think so I'm better than you when it comes it comes to stuff like this.
Okay, fine. I don't want to argue about it.
But here's the deal. We got to do the episode.
So we had to employ some of our employees to play for us. Fancy, you want to play for me? Of course.
Okay, Fancy B is going to play for me. Yeah.
And good old Puddin' Pete is going to play for you. How do you think about that? I like it.
Is that okay? And here's the deal. I got you, Bobby.
I got you. I'm going to make the arrangements.
They're going to go head-to-head crushing each other, and whoever crushes the most levels is going to win at the end of the episode, and whoever loses has to make out with George. That's right.
I like that. Yes, George.
Yes. If Pete can't catch up to me, he's going to have to kiss George's open mouth or close mouth.
I think tongue. I want tongue.
No. Yeah, right so that's the deal that's what they got to do uh p can't catch up that's what happens check them out while they're uh while we're doing the episode you can watch them go head to head and you guys need to get in on this it's free to play it's so much fun bob tell them okay hit the link and try to beat us and if you haven't joined yet you're missing, guys, everyone that we know I think is playing Candy Crush All-Stars Tournament.
Even our friend Whitney Cummings. Whit's in.
Yeah. And also, you know who else is in? Huh? Chloe K's in.
Ooh! Fancy. You know who else is in? Your good buddy.
The Gronk, my boy. The Gronkster, yeah.
Ooh! Get in on the action, you guys. It's your chance to win a year's supply of gold bars.
if you haven't yet hit that link and play in the candy crush all-stars tournament now sugar crush did you always want to be an actor i don't really know what i wanted i think i just want to do you know what you want right now no i just want to quiet. It was good to get her for Rudy.
I worked with her once. On what? On a, we acted once.
On what? Your fucking show. Oh yeah, on Alone Together.
And we also worked together on Love. Oh yeah.
I was on her show too. Yeah, you guys were both on it.
You don't remember that? Was that that bad? No, I remember, but I was thinking of love.

You were crazy.

What?

You seemed stressed out.

I was very stressed out.

I always forget how tiny you are.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Look at your, put your hands up.

Look at how small your little hand is.

Look at those things.

Oh, my God.

It's like they're not.

They're not even hands, they're paws.

They're little tiny paws.

Yeah.

You are so fucking small.

Thank you.

Does Dave's penis look big in those hands?

Oh, my God. Come on.
Hey, of course it does. Of course it does.
Because he's a little Jewy guy, right? He's not that little. He's not a little guy.
He's a Jewy guy. That seems racist.
To say Jewy? Yeah, yeah. He's a brilliant little Jewy man.
He is Jewy. And he probably has like a cute, pudgy, kind of matzo-y penis.
A matzo-y penis? Peep-y, right? But in her little hands, they look gigantic. Massive.
Yeah, yeah. His penis is actually the exact same shape as a dreidel, genuinely.
And she can spin it. Have you seen Kalilah's hands? Yeah.
Large and long. They're baseball mitts.
So my penis looks like a Xanax. Tic-tac.
Yeah, yeah, something like that. A pill or something.
No questions about it. Are you mad? She doesn't want to talk about Dave.
Dave's worst fear is that people are talking about his penis. Because every time he sees women together, his first thought is that they're talking about his penis.
I'm sorry, we could edit it out. No, it's fine.
I think he's got to grow though. Yeah.
He's talking about his penis? Yeah, that's a paranoia that he needs to get over. Why? I agree.
Because it's like, I didn't say anything bad about his penis. Yeah, but this is not your issue, it's his.
That's true. Yeah.
Yeah. He thinks all women, but to be fair, and this is not being sexist, nine times out of ten when I'm going to get coffee or lunch or whatever in public, if I'm crossing, this morning, literally this morning, if I'm crossing the path of two women in a conversation, it's about a dude.
Really? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, almost always.
Always always. Or something about a relationship thing or, mm-hmm.
Yeah. Two girls together.
Two girls together, what are you talking about? Usually relationship stuff. Stuff.
Wait, when you guys look- What do you talk about when it's just you and another girl at coffee go ahead hey s what's been going on i like makeup uh oh i don't know well i'm also like in a nine-year relationship so i'm not there's nothing to talk about yeah but they talk to you about their shit unless you're with another married girl or whatever and then you're talking about the annoyances of the marriage you know what dave did yesterday that fucking pissed me off what that's what you would say no do you never complain to girlfriends about dave uh not really dave is pretty a pretty good partner like i always say that if he killed me like i think it would be justified when you guys look at andrew and i and be honest and i i you know i'm mr you know i mean i like i like criticism because you guys are so young do you guys look at us as old men but she nodded her fucking head the first she went like ready which one ask me and i'm gonna be her yeah in the middle i'm gonna be when you look at me and andrew and i um do you look at us like old men um That's literally what she did. Yeah, yeah.
I'm in the middle. I'm going to be Victoria Beckham.
So when you look at me and Andrew and I, do you look at us like old men?

That's literally what she did.

Is that what you did?

Yeah, she nodded her head.

Yeah.

Yes.

Like, you guys look at us like-

Older.

Older, but your parents.

Like you like-

Like we're your parents?

Like we've hung out at your parents' house.

How old are your parents?

64.

Whoa, really?

That's older than I thought.

Yeah, yeah.

How old is your parents? Me and Mike. So I'm 50.
You're middle age. Can I guess your age? He's 50.
I just said it. He just turned 50.
I just turned 50. No way.
Yeah, so you guys look at me like I'm a parental figure. No, no.
See, ironically, they probably think I'm more of a parental figure than you and I'm 12 years younger than you. Yeah, yeah.
Who's more parental, me or Andrew? Don't be afraid to say me. Yeah, yeah.
Save this option. That your little friend that could save you from almost nothing.
Yeah, yeah. Who's more, I'm for sure more parental.
Who would you trust to take you on a road trip safely why that's offensive that hurts me he yells at the GPS but he's like following the GPS thank you and you think I'm going what going on what is that I don't know how old you what that sounds right honestly I feel like you'd be the one to jam out to the music no no'd be the one that already don't, I don't need a GPS because I don't fucking know where we're going. Oh, you know how to get there? No.
You know how to get to Santa Rosa? No, but I would pretend though. I got this.
I got it. We're on a dirt road.
There's no streetlights. You end up in Mexico getting robbed and shot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No thanks.
What do you think? Like, probably you. Yeah, for sure.
There's no doubt. That's more parental and responsible.

Yeah, this is like not even a thing.

It's not even...

It hurts me though

because it's like,

I'm responsible.

You play video games

till four in the morning.

No, I don't.

Sure you do.

Three.

Okay, three.

No, I mean,

what does that have anything to do with it?

What does that have to do

with being a parental and responsible?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

Now that I think about it...

Listen, I...

Just like Andrew,

I own a home, right? Mm-hmm. I pay my same thing yeah what owning your home just shut the fuck up hey hey don't you do that to her i'm sorry i love you but shut the fuck up hey hey okay i fucking uh pay my taxes you don't yes i do no you don't your business manager does it doesn't matter i hired a businessman to fucking pay my taxes i know but you don't physically do things i physically call the guy goes can you do my taxes yeah he says yes you don't clean your house i know i hire i could clean it but i hire somebody to clean it i know because you're a fancy guy yeah but that has nothing to do with responsibility kind of no i would disagree i wash and i bathe that bathe.
That's, is that, you want credit for that? I want credit for that. I want credit for eating.
Meals? Two meals a day. Okay.
I guess we're even closer to responsible. But in terms of like on the general hour, like military.
Mm-hmm. One to two, I got my lunch.
Seven to eight, I get my dinner. Yeah.
So that's responsible, right? You sleep until... So you all think that I'm less responsible, that you're responsible than him.
No, they would just trust me to do the parental thing. That's all.
He's a cooler dad. Yeah, you'd be a cooler dad.
He'd be more fun. He'd be so much more fun.
That's good. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Like he would discipline you.
That's right. Me's a free for all.
Yeah. In fact, you know what I would do? Let's say you were my kids.
All five of you. One, two, three, four, five.
All five of you. This is what I do.
I would go, hey guys. Wink.
Right? Don't ever go into my wallet. Wink.
And take out thousands of dollars. You know what I mean? I'll just leave it out on the kitchen table while I go upstairs and go to take a nap, right? Also, I'll say I never count my money.
Wink, right? And that's cool, right? Number two, it's like you guys are smoking weed in the house. Oh, no.
In high school. I go, hey, guys, stop doing that.
It upsets me. Wink, right? You guys can watch anything on the flat screen TV.
No, not in my house None of you guys No way You let them steal all that money Yeah and also on this It's like no curfew At all Come home whenever you want Yeah and if I was your father You would all get cars Wow Yeah So And not like Not like We wouldn't go to like A used car Right You're buying them all brand new cars. Whatever, Teslas.
Teslas? Fucking Teslas, dude. All you guys are getting Teslas.
Right. What would you buy us? Well, first of all, you're all five sharing a car, and there's going to be a schedule on the refrigerator, and you're going to have to mark down when you need the car, and if the car isn't returned, you're banned from the car for the next ensuing few days.
You know that. You know that.
Don't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right? See, that's who he is.
If I see $20 missing out of my money jar, you're all grounded. And then nobody gets the car.
And what is the car? What is the car? Your car? No. What is the car that they have to share? Like, what it probably looks like.
Well, I'm going to get a fancy. Daddy gets a fancy car because Daddy worked hard.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The kids are going to have to share a junk piece of shit.
It looks like that mystery mobile from uh scooby-doo it's a van it's a gut it's a gutted out van you're in a big you're driving a big van a pass van that's what it is that's what it is you're driving the scooby-doo van the mystery machine yeah yeah you're driving the mystery machine and there is no mystery that thing's got to be back by 7 fucking p.m pal all of you have a curfew and you know what your curfew is stagger your grades. That's right.
And you know, you get a little bit more passed because you're my favorite because of the red. Did you have a curfew? No, I had no rules growing up.
No religion, no rules. That's a lie.
No, it's not. And then I would, but that made me a good kid because there was no restriction so then I didn't want to rebel against anything.
Are you half Jewish? Yes. Mom? Dad.
So you're fake. Yeah.
Right. Yeah.
You know that know that right were you the funniest person in high school i mean how did when did comedy become a thing um i i just always liked it i don't know but in high school you're in plays and stuff i was very silly i you know what i took dance class all like like every night after school and i thought i wanted to be a dancer and then i realized that the thing i liked about dance class that i was like embarrassing myself and being silly and making like the other girls laugh when did comedy kick in i'm still waiting no don't do that that's a bad joke and you know you're very funny when did it kick in what does that mean though kick in when did you go fuck i need to do this for this has to be my life uh in college when i decided to drop out i was like i'm gonna like pursue stand-up and any kind of comedy it's so cool to drop out of college yeah did you oh did you drop out oh no they're in it but i'm kind of trying to oh yeah yeah because i think it's not cool what not cool. What'd you say, Fance? Not cool.
No, it is very cool. By the way, what is...
Fancy went to college. You know that, right? And you know what he's doing? He's working for us.
He works for idiots, okay? So who really won? He works for us. I went to Arizona State.
I'm so dumb. I went to the dumbest college you can go to.
Bro, I don't know how to pronounce words. He's an idiot.
I'm a fucking idiot. And your teacher works for us.
Yeah, yeah. So who won? i don't know i don't know how to pronounce words he's an idiot i'm a fucking idiot and your teacher works for us yeah yeah so who won i don't know anything you know you know i don't know how to do so i don't know how to tell the time with the hands the hand well they're facing the same way is bad first start yeah no i don't know i literally don't know how i've never learned how to tell on a face clock i don't know how to do it he does not know how to do it i don't know how to do it and people have taught me well bobby it's easy i go i don't know how.
I've never learned. How to tell on a face clock? I don't know how to do a face clock.
He does not know how to do face clocks.

I don't know how to do it.

And people have taught me,

well, Bobby, it's easy.

I go, I don't want to know.

Why do I have digital?

Well, because he, yeah,

he doesn't want to know.

Can you write in cursive?

No.

Okay.

No, please don't tell.

I don't.

No, it's for fun.

That one on the left.

I can't hear it though

because I don't want him to learn it.

What time is that right there?

2.30. What? Is that 2.30 30 you think that's 2 30 yeah so the little the little hand is I don't want to know about it you don't want to hear I'm just guessing based on what I see okay 2 30 is right yeah is it right yeah okay yeah you're right but then I don't know like um also when what side the sun sets the sun rises in the I don't want to know.
Don't ever tell me. I always go, oh, oh, or when it goes down.
You know what I mean? Have you ever seen the sun and the moon up at the same time? That's never happened. It's impossible.
It's interesting. A sun and the moon aligned at the same...
That's impossible. Both in the sky.
They're on the opposite sides because obviously there's night and day so the sun is up the moon can't be up

at the same time

no they both exist

it's not like one goes

we're shutting down

can you see both

in the middle of the day

can you see the sun

and the moon

yeah if

from these ends

okay if they're like this

yeah yeah yeah

right so then you can see

sun and moon

yeah

otherwise you can't have

the sun in the sky

and the moon in the sky as well

they gotta be like this

yeah

if you're at the comedy store

standing outside

do you know like

which way is north

south east west

Thank you. sky and the moon in the sky as well they got to be like this yeah okay the comedy store outstanding outside do you know like which way is north southeast west yeah because i drive because i know that i know that car has the fucking no no no no no no no that's not it dude i just know that like sunset goes west because i can get to santa monica that way so that's obviously west so i do it by the road i'm not dumb like i'm you know what i mean you are dumb i am dumb but i just don't know certain specific little things like how to tell how to tell time and stuff yeah yeah but i know what's south north and where i am like if i'm walking around you have good internal comp your encompass internal compass is good yeah Yeah.
That's okay. That's all you need.

You know, I have a job for her.

Listen.

Who?

What's her name?

Montgomery.

Yeah.

My manager was like, well, Andrew and Bobby want to do a film.

And they're like, oh, we're really interested maybe, right?

Because my people are trying to push a movie with us.

Yeah.

She could play your sister.

That's right. We don't know if she can fucking act.
You'd have to read. We're not going to offer.
Do we have a scene down there? Yeah. Throw up a scene here.
We have a scene. You want to act? All right, let's do it.
She has. Wow, I like that.
She's trying to get into the business. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I want Esther to read action lines because she's really, really good at that. Okay.
I don't want to be Tommy. I think you're better with Tommy.
First of all, it's you and her. I'll do the scene again.
I'll do the scene again after and then we can judge it. No, you're going to be better because I can't do the accent of Tommy.
Or because I'm a better... No.
Is it because I'm a better accent? What do you mean I'm funny? Okay.

Okay, so here we go.

Esther?

Okay.

All right.

Tommy has just told a story that's cracked up the entire company of gangsters at a table.

You know what?

You're really funny.

Really funny.

What do you mean I'm funny?

You know, you're funny, you know, the story. It's funny.
You're a funny guy. What do you mean? The way I talk? What? It's just, you know, it's funny.
It's just funny. You know, the way you tell stories.
Funny how? I mean, what's funny about it? Tommy, no. No, whoa, whoa, whoa, Anthony.
He's a big boy. He knows what he said.
What'd you say? Funny how? What? There's a... Okay, you do it now.
No, no, no. Oh, God, I'm sweating.
Maybe I'm not a good actor. You're a great actor.
And what do I have all the lines? She picked the ones with other lines. I gotta...
All right, sorry. Finish the scene.
Just know you're funny. No, no, no, no.
You mean... Let me understand this.
Because I... Maybe it's me.
Maybe I'm a little fucked up. I'm fucked up, maybe.
I'm funny to how? I mean, like... I can't do this! You're doing great.
I am? All right. Fuck you guys.
Like, I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fucking amuse you. What do you mean funny? How funny how? How am I funny? I just...
You know the story. You know how you tell it.
No, no. I don't know.
You said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny.
How the fuck am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me. Tell me what's funny.
There's a long suspenseful pause.

One and a two and a three and a four and a five.

Get the fuck out of here.

You motherfucker.

I almost had you. I almost had him.

You stuttering prick here, Frankie.

What was he shaking? I wonder what you sometimes

said. We did it.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, God.

You got the gig.

I hated it.

You're way better.

You got the gig.

You got the gig.

You got the gig.

All right, you're in the movie.

Sorry, I'm just sweating my fingers.

It was really, really good.

Close it.

X out that scene.

Do you guys know what movie that's from?

No.

That's sad. Wait, wait, wait Do you guys know what movie that's from? That's sad.

You guys know what movie that is?

Wow, that really breaks me.

I think I know.

What is it?

No, hold on.

You're a film student, aren't you?

Funny how?

You think I'm funny? Funny how?

It's a classic scene.

It's one of the best movies ever made that's right oh my god what is it what is it godfather no it's not it's not godfather yeah like 30 years after that yeah wait not scarface no say i looked on my little friend That's Scarface. Yeah.
That's right. Have you seen Scarface?

Yeah. That's right.
Have you seen Scarface? Yeah. Have you seen Godfather? Yeah.
What movie is it, Esther? I think I have two guesses. I think it's Goodfellas.
That's right. That's exactly what it is.
My second guess was Casino. Okay, it's Casino.
Yeah, but it would be close. It would be close if you said Casino.
You guys haven't seen Goodfellas? No. Okay.
They're all 19 or 20. I know, but the thing is, I don't know.
I don't get that. Well, but I think that- Because it's like- Can I make my point? Yeah.
Yeah. I sound arrogant sometimes.
Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah.
But I was born in 1971. But- Back when we only had crank windows in the car you had to start an airplane by a rudder in the front yeah but did I see Apple Pay wasn't then you couldn't swipe a phone and just get a product it was much different back then kids you in 1971.
Yeah, but I still saw movies before my time. Of course, yeah.
You know who the Rolling Stones are? Yeah, yeah. I mean, even in the 50s you would watch certain movies that were like Funny Face or whatever it might be.
Hey! This episode of Bad Friends is sponsored by Candy Crush All-Stars. We made a bet to see who could crush the most levels by the end of this podcast.

And we have Andreas representing Team Andrew.

Andres with Andres.

And Chubby Pete is representing. Oh, hey.

Hey, be nice.

Team Mean in the Candy Crush All-Stars tournament.

Powerful Pete is representing Bobby.

The loser has to forfeit from the tournament and get to-

A kiss from George.

Open mouth kiss George with tongues. Yes.
How are you boys doing? I think Pete is losing pretty hard. I'm doing great.
I'm doing great. I'm just going to have to kiss George.
So nervous. So nervous.
Pete is losing pretty hard. Pete, what do you think George is? You're 101.
What are you at, Pete? I'm 60. I'm catching up.
No, no, no. I'm coming on.
I'm making grounds here. Check this out.
Get your chapstick ready, George. Yeah, what do you think George's breath tastes like, Pete? Because you're going to taste it in about 15 minutes.
Maybe a little like nicotine taste. Maybe some.
Is George smoking? He doesn't smoke. You guys are listening right now.
You got to get in. It's free to play and so much fun hit the link and try to beat us good luck if you

haven't joined yet you are missing out yes everyone is playing candy crush all-stars tournament even our friend whitney cummings who has absolutely no chance of beating none whatsoever she's busy breeding dogs i'm playing chloe k is playing gronk is in it's so much fun the competition's good you can get in on the action now and uh like we said it's your chance to win a year's supply of gold. Baby, a year's supply of gold bars.
That's amazing. If you haven't yet, you can hit the link and play the Candy Crush All-Stars tournament right now.
And we'll be checking in soon to make sure that Pete's getting his lips nice and moist and plump for George. And that tongue.
What about a kiss on the cheek? Can we just? No. No.
No. The deal is you make out with them.
End of discussion. I'm liking this more and more.
What is like an old classic movie that you like? What's a classic movie to you? Casablanca. Way before Goodfellas.
And you saw Casablanca. Yeah.
I've seen Goodfellas. I just couldn't.
She just didn't remember it. Do you guys know who Michael Jackson is? That's crazy.
Everyone fucking knows who Michael Jackson is. That's not true.
There are young people. There is nobody on earth that doesn't know who Michael Jackson is.
People who are 18 and younger kind of don't know who he is. I've heard.
These people are all that age. Let's do a little fun game show, okay? I'm going to throw out people that I think that you should know that are like Michael Jackson level.
And raise your hand if you you've heard of them that person. But they all don't have

to have Michael Jackson type crimes do they?

Yeah they're all in this

they've all beaten a baby.

O.J. Simpson.

Alright you know who that is.

Maybe you're right. Maybe let's go a level below that.

Yeah but wait do you know that he's a football

star? Yes. Okay.
He is just no I thought he was awesome at killing yeah that guy I didn't know that best murderer you didn't know you didn't know raise your hand if you know who Christopher Reeves is ooh okay one none of you know who Christopher Reeves is wow see that's he's like a nice space yeah who is he who is he do you know yeah he was an actor this is okay we're not making fun of you it's just interesting the most famous superhero of all time is...

Oh, my God.

She's not...

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So he was the original Superman, and why did he not continue to play Superman?

What happened to Christopher Reeves?

No, what happened?

He loves horsies.

He loves the horsie.

He does a lot of commercials now. He's not alive.
He's not alive. They might CGI him into commercials.
So Christopher Ruiz is the original Superman. And then, unfortunately, he was horseback riding.
He got bucked off the horse. And he became paralyzed from the neck down.
That's right. Yeah.
Superman? Superman? Question mark? I don't know. Sonny Bono.
Sonny Bono. You guys don't know who Sonny Bono is.
Yeah. He fought a tree once.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Well, I mean. The tree won.
The tree won. Yeah, one zero.
One mean the tree won the tree won yeah 1-0 one on the tree Sonny Bono was Cher's husband they had the Sonny and Cher so I got you babe and then he was in a skiing accident where he died how he hit a tree yeah 1-0 1-0 the tree won yeah have you seen Titanic yeah a tree. Yeah.
1-0. 1-0.
The tree one. Yeah, yeah.
Have you seen Titanic? Yeah. Of course.
Yeah. Okay.
You've seen Titanic? Yeah. You have not seen Titanic, sir? What do you mean? Like, I don't know.
I've never seen it. Does it hold no interest to you? No, it's old.
It's old. It is old.
Yeah. Do you know who's in it and who cares about the girl who gives a shit who she is yeah yeah once leo leo is everything i understand leo is everything could he have fit on the door he could have isn't that the age-old question could he have fit on that door? Why didn't she move the fuck over? I'll miss you.
I could stay. He should have said.
I could stay. What do you mean? The floating door in the ocean? Yeah, she wasn't that big.
It was a door? It was a door. I think it was a door.
It wasn't a door. I thought it was just a piece of wooden debris.
No, I think it was a door. Let's see.
Floating door with Jack and... That's a door.
That's not a door, dude. It's a piece of debris it look at how big it is scoot the fuck over kate scoot the fuck there's james cameron could have got on there too i know all three of them could have been on that fucking thing yeah i'll miss you rose and look at how comfortable she looks yeah oh good look at the bottom of the sea i I used to do a joke like this.
About this?

Yeah, I did a joke about this.

Really?

What was it?

That I'm like a coward, right?

So if I was in that situation, right?

I would have been like, if I was him, I would have been like, hey, Rose, it's much warmer

in the water.

Right?

And then she plops it and I would jump up.

Go, sucker!

And I start paddling away.

Smart.

Shark! You know what I mean? paddling away. Smart.
Shark!

You know what I mean? I paddle away. I could easily see when they're like, women and children first!

And then you covering up your hair and scampering

you like, I'm a lady!

Help me in! I think I would. I think I'm

a survivor in that way. Yeah, coward.

That's not a coward. That's not a coward.

No, because I would... No, let me

defend myself.

Men and women are equal. Yeah, so they say.
In my eyes, they are. Yeah, except for this scenario.
No, in every scenario. So if you're singing on a boat, it's not women and children.
It's everybody who... I think it should be everyone.
Yeah. Don't you think if we're all equal? What do you think? I sort of agree because then you think about your splitting up family.
Like I would not be able to get on a lifeboat and leave like my dad or Dave. Yeah.
I don't think I could do that. I think it should be just men.
The women and children got to stay on the boat. Do you think if you guys were on the Titanic, like what person would you be? Would you be like the guys playing the music? So condescending.
Him and I are in the bowels of the boat. I'm shoveling coal.
He's in the kitchen. You know what's really going on.
Yeah, yeah. We're dead.
He's in the walk. He's like, hurry up, hurry up.
And I'm shoveling coal with all the other Irish scumbags in the bottom of the boat. Yeah.
You're up top soireeing with the fancies. We're dead immediately.
Me and Wang over here are dead within seconds. Why do I have to be Wang? Because that's what they used to call you back then.
No, Sullivan. No, I'm Sullivan.
I'm the Irish guy. I wouldn't be Sullivan.
No, they'd call me a Mick piece of shit. They'd be like, get down there, Wong.
Yeah. And you'd be in the kitchen and I'd be shoveling coal and we would commiserate.
I'd say, call me by my first name, Frank. Right? I would have changed my name.
I'm Frank Wang. Frank Wong.
I'm Frank Wong. Just call me by my first name Right I'm Frank Wong And what's an Asian first name That's my first name I'm Toshi O'Sullivan Frank Wong and Toshi O'Sullivan We were best friends This is the movie Titanic This is the movie The story between Toshi Ellis Sullivan we were best friends this is the movie Titanic the story between Toshi Sullivan and Frank Wong that's the movie and we're playing cards smoking as the boat is going down that's a good premise a comedy about two other people's experience of the Titanic I think we should seriously that's so funny to me it'd be great be great if we did like a bunch of shorts like if we did that short and then we did we did our perspective the of the of a great movie from another viewpoint right yeah kind of how um Buster Scruggs Ballad of Buster Scruggs where they did like six shorts it was fucking brilliant what if we did that where we did a bunch of the other scene the other version like Jurassic alright what's my beverage oh no I like my beverage this is what happens around here so you and I I like the idea but I want to do more movies yeah so you ever see the Highlander yeah so you and I are just the two only immortals on Earth.
And we just, throughout history, Wang, right? Frank Wang. And Toshi Sullivan.
And Toshi Sullivan are always in these tragedy, like historical tragedies. That's so good.
Right. So we'll be in Germany.
Right. You know what I mean? And Auschwitz.
No, no, no. No.
Make it funny. Which one? The Hindenburg crash.
No. Okay.
All right, you're right. The blimp is hilarious.
Yeah, that's it. You and me blowing up.
We're going down. So I can say lines like that.
Here we go. You're right.
And then we explode. Yeah, and then it goes to the next movie.
And then you and I survive. We just kind of.
Oh, we survive the Hindenburg? You and I are best friends And we always end up Just in the center of these historical tragedies How about this though We do an episode where I go You know You know Toshi I always adapt, I always adapt the accent. Toshi, you know, why don't you visit my home? I don't want to.
I've got to start an Irish. I don't want to go there.
Yeah, yeah. I don't want to be over there.
All the dumb things. This is 1945.
I'm from Hiroshima. All right.
All right. This summer.
Listen, Frank, this summer We'll go to Hiroshima You'll love it This summer I'll go to Hiroshima Right So now you and I Are on a vacation You're on a vacation right Yeah We have our like Hawaiian For some reason We have like Hawaiian like Gotta tell you Frank Trunks This place is beautiful I told you What's that And we both look up right here we go again yeah yeah so awful this is really good though it's a series of comedy tragedies would be a great way to go back in time do you guys live together here this is a program where like all these they're staying together together You guys knew each other from the east coast then

Is that fun like a big sleepover every night

It seems like so much fun

God it's like

It's almost like you're going back to your first year in college

When you didn't

Because it's like mom and dad don't know

I can stay up as late as I want

But you've already had that experience but now you're doing it again

Does it feel like you're getting away with something again

Because you're in a different place Yeah it feel like you're getting away with something again?

Because you're in a different place?

Yeah.

Fuck, we're old.

Do you guys fight?

No.

They fist fight.

They have UFC nights.

Oh, they do?

You two fight?

Do you really?

We're besties.

But you fight because you're besties.

What do you guys fight about?

Guess.

She's just like so.

You're so loud. He's so loud.
Yeah. So you guys love each other.
You just hate your brother, sister type of shit. Yeah, exactly.
But what's the fights usually about? You stole my, you stole my food type of stuff or. You stole her pillow last night.
Right. I figured it was stolen.
So you do look like a fucking thief. He feels like he takes, you know what I mean? And he just, because he's cute and sweet, he gets away with it.
Most people go, oh, Matt, what are you going to do? It's Matt. Do you guys have your own private rooms or is there like a wall? I live in my own bedroom.
Oh, yeah, you would. You would, you brat.
He is the little diva. You guys share a room.
But two different beds. Okay, cool.
You share a room and you share a room but old princess over here gets yeah you would you would get your own little room brat that's exactly how it would be if this whole office had to have something like that i would have to share a room with those scumbags downstairs and this brat would get her own room 100 am i right yeah yeah you know you have more. It's not.
No, it has nothing to do with credit. Seniority.
Yeah, you're older for sure. That's what.
I'm older. That's what it is.
I'm like 15 years older than you. 12.
That's right. 13.
Yeah. 12.
I'll tell you what. Can I just say something about myself? Because I know what my body looks like.
Let me just say one more last thing. I know what my body looks like.
I know what my breath smells like like i know what some of the orifices of my body are just stank and not natural and not good not pure right so you know you look in the mirror naked you look in the mirror you go what can i offer you know i mean a partner right so i go the extra mile you know what i mean and that's i think I think, you know, girls are cool. I mean, blessed to date someone like me.

You think so? What do you mean? No, I think. No, no.
I want you to be honest. I think you're the, I love you.
You're my brother. I know, but say something.
Slam me down. I'm going to.
Yeah, push me down on the ground. I love you to death.
I also know that you're living proof that women care much, much more about more than what meets the eye. Let me get this right.
You're living proof. I'm living proof.
Let me get this right. Let me finish it it's not done no okay that men are very shallow men are remarkably shallow right and women are intellectually further than us emotionally because they have the ability to see past physicality and find something more real you're living proof that women can you know have you ever gone you've gone swimming in hawaii with a lot of seaweeds and and you have and a lot of vegetation in the ocean right and somebody says if you dive down you're're going to, there's amazing, uh,

life down there.

There's incredible,

there's incredible,

uh,

uh,

the seafloors are amazing.

And a man might go,

I don't know.

Look at all that fucking swamp shit.

But a woman can go,

I'm going to get through all the swamp shit because I know there's beauty way down there.

Way deep.

Way deep.

There is a massive amount of swampy shit. Sludge.
Stinky, sludgy. Sludgy.
Particles. Particles.
And nasties. And maybe like man-made things you have to like plastics.
A lot of man-made grossness. A lot of stuff that's man's own fault.
Yeah. And they get through that.
Get through it. To see the natural, real beauty.
The real beauty. Deep though, deep.
Like in the bottom where the fish is very translucent. Correct.
You know how you go really deep and you have that one with the little tail with the, you know, that bright. It lights up its own way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And deep down.
This is you. That's who I am.
Yeah. But you got to get through all that.
A lot of swamp. A lot of swamp.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so after all this time, I want you to go down the list and say our Candy Crush friends' names there.
Do you remember all their names because you did that word association? It's been enough time where I think you should remember all of them. We spoke to them heavily.
We had a great time with them. Did you guys have yes good good now what are their names that sweet sweet human on the left is named montgomery correct now what's the gentleman next to her nothing matthew and next to him i'm trying to think you don't remember give me that give me like a hint no come on look at her look at her sweet sweet face and you'll figure it out.
I love her. I love you.
He loves you. She loves you.
That's Victoria. Victoria is over there, but that's that one.
That's Victoria. Sophie.
Sophie's Choice, that's how I remember. Right.
What was the movie that I... Can I be honest with you? Yeah.
She is a huge fan of yours. That's the hardest part.
The two other girls don't even know who you are. I know they don't.
I can feel their energy. And she loves you.
I love your name by the way. It's a fellow old lady name.
That's a good hint. That's a good guess.
A good hint. Florence.
But that's a good good guess that's a fun guess Elise Elise the hint was the name of a person was the hint that you used was the name of another another person? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
A designer.

Oh, a designer.

Oh, it's so... You should know it by now.

Okay, so let me think of the designers that I know.

You know, Ralph?

Ralph?

Yes.

Ralph Lauren.

Okay, so that's one, right?

Yeah.

I think we mentioned it in the Titanic.

We mentioned the last name in the Titanic bit. Okay.
We did. I don't know.
What were some of the names that we said you were in the Titanic bit? When the captain came down to yell at us. Yeah, I was Frank.
Yeah, but at first first, your last name is? Sullivan.

No.

No, I'm O'Sullivan.

Oh.

I'm Toshi O'Sullivan, and you're Frank?

Wild.

No, it was an Asian sounding name.

It was an Asian name.

Okay.

Frank.

I gotta go.

You're so defeated.

You're shut down.

Frank.

I'm in my head.

I'm shut down.

Frank.

I'm in my Wanda. I'm in my own thing.
I gotta get. You're so defeated.
You're shut down. I'm in my head.
I'm shut down. Frank.
I'm in my Wanda.

I'm in my own thing.

I gotta get out of here.

I'm sweating.

You're gonna figure this out for the sake of this.

Just fucking tell me what it is.

Sorry.

Sorry.

What is it?

Wanda.

Wang.

Wang Chung.

Wang.

Wang.

Who Wang?

Wang Chung.

Who Wang?

Funk Wang. Funk Wang.
Funk Chung. Who Wang? Funk Wang.

Funk Wang.

Funk Wang.

Fiora.

Fiora?

You're getting so close.

It sounds kind of like that.

Fiora.

Fleora.

Who's a designer named Wang?

I don't know her name.

I know she's...

I don't know her.

We're going to sit here until you get it No I'm leaving I'm gonna leave You know what I'm tired of this I don't know why I'm in this I'm gonna give you five seconds to tell me What the fucking name is Who are you talking to Tell me the fucking name now This is your responsibility Tell me the fucking name somebody right now These are the people from Candy Crush No, no, man. Who the fuck are you talking to? Tell me the fucking name now, man.
No, no. This is your responsibility with these young- Tell me the fucking name somebody right now, man.

These are the people from Candy Crush.

They're not the Candy Crush.

I'm not afraid of these fucking people.

They're kids.

I want you to tell him your name

and tell him how sad it makes you that he didn't remember.

What is it?

Vera.

That's what I said.

You didn't.

I never said it.

Check the tape.

Vera.

Vera Wong.

Vera Wang, remember?

Yeah, yeah.

Vera, I'm sorry, okay? It'm sorry okay i forgive you that fast it's all right i know we shut him down i feel so bad no you're not around here enough this is my natural state yeah this is him yeah also he deserves it sometimes thank you for being a bad no i want them to do it i want you guys as loud as you can to yell on the count of. Thank you for being a bad friend.
No, I want them to do it. I want you guys as loud as you can to yell on the count of three, thank you for being a bad friend, so the mic's picking up.
One, two, three. Thank you for being a bad friend.
That's good. Woo! Woo! Woo! Okay, so here it is.
So, being lost being lost. You have to close your eyes, George.
Close your eyes. Close your eyes.
That's a consequence. No, I...
Be lost. Close your eyes, George.
Close your eyes. No.
Close your eyes. Just...
No! Oh no! No!

No, I did that a little bit!