Close Encounters of the Yellow Belly

I think you're on mute.

Workday's starting to sound the same.

I think you're on mute.

Find something that sounds better for your career on LinkedIn.

With LinkedIn Job Collections, you can browse curated collections by relevant industries and benefits,

like FlexPTO or hybrid workplaces, so you can find the right job for you.

Get started at linkedin.com slash jobs. Finding where you fit.
LinkedIn knows how. You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.
You two are something. We're bad friends.
Number one, hello. Hello.
Number two, I have a secret about you, but I'm afraid. My client told me not to tell you, but it's itching.
You have a secret for me? Oh, from you. I have to keep a secret from you.
Tell me. But let's go to him first.
Introduce our guest again who's here. Okay, well, we got this guy right here, right? He got a little too much love last time it was so much it drove me bring Doc back where would he where would he let's follow him where are you performing yeah really he's ha ha cafe yeah what did you expect is that are you being a mean I'm not being mean but I'm just saying when they go you know what I mean where is he performing okay how about this

how about this

wherever there's a coffee shop

on the stage

wow that's

that's

I mean

you want me to be warm out

yeah yeah

he's on Jefferson

and Venice

just on the corner

with a mic

you know what I mean

are you still directing

planes at Van Nuys

yeah yeah

telling jokes

Doc is the man

Doc is back

we love Doc to death

and by the way

I see you're performing

on Friday at the Laugh Factory

why don't you bring Doc

Thank you. Are you still directing planes at Van Nuys? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Telling jokes. Doc is the man.

Doc is back.

We love Doc to death.

And by the way, I see you're performing on Friday at the Laugh Factory.

Why don't you bring Doc?

I'm performing when?

Tonight.

Oh, tonight?

Yeah.

Then bring Doc tonight.

I can't just bring this little guy.

Famous Bobby Lee.

Superstar famous Bobby Lee. And I gotta go.

The biggest name on the flyer can't bring somebody to do a guest spot?

First of all, can I just say this?

Interesting.

I'm on the outs there. Why? Because last night I found out something very interesting.
What? What's that? Is this the secret you were going to tell me? No. Oh, okay.
I can't tell you. Wait, why? Do we need to blank it out? Is that why? No.
I think you should just be very upset. I would be upset? Yeah.
Tell me. But can we do the Laugh Factory first? Fine.
All right. So yesterday, I was supposed to be there last night okay you know I called and I go I can't make it and they go we got a birthday cake on stage for you aww and Joe Coy and all these people showed up Joe Coy I'm like I can't I can't go right why couldn't you go because I was at a two Michelin star sushi restaurant two's not not enough for me.
You're a three man. I'm a three man.
I get it. But when you slum, you do two.
When I'm roughing it? Yeah, yeah, when you're roughing it. Have you ever been to a Michelin star restaurant? No.
Do you know what that is? No, I don't even know what that is. Love that shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good shit or what? You know what Michelin, the tire company? Yeah.
The car tire company? They also rate restaurants internationally, believe that or not. What the fuck? How did they have? Because back in the day, they were more prestigious.
They were the only tire company they also rate restaurants internationally believe that or not what the fuck how did they because back in the 19 like early back in the day they were more like prestigious i guess they were the only tire they're still very prestigious in the sense you know michelin has like a tire on your honda right but they also make very very high-end tires for like f1 and indy for like high-end cars okay so they were a prestigious very wealthy company and they they had this side branch of doing fucking uhiding restaurants. Kind of like Guinness Book of World Records is Guinness, the beer company.
What? You don't know that? In France, it's probably like 15, two or three stars. How many Michelin star restaurants are in France? Look that up, Pete, because honestly, maybe 30 or 40.
Wait a minute, so Michelin owns these restaurants no no no what they do is

if you get a star

one star

it's like this restaurant

hovers above

any other plain restaurant

you go to

correct

you're right

two stars

it's like

you're gonna drop

a grand

a lot

look at 57

new starred restaurants

in France

yeah yeah

600

638 restaurants in France

including 57 new ones

holy shit

638 restaurants

have Michelin stars

yeah it's quite quality Thank you. in France.
Yeah, yeah. 638 restaurants in France, including 57 new ones.

Holy shit.

638 restaurants have Michelin stars.

Yeah, it's quite quality.

That's insane, though.

So what's the difference

between Michelin and Yelp?

Oh.

Oh, man.

I need to hire, man.

Jefferson and Sautel

at 930 tonight.

930 tonight.

That's right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, you know what?

For real, though. It's just, it's snooty shit.
It's like fancy snooty. Oh, it's just for high-end people.
No, you could go. I could go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We would have to take you there.
Yeah, that would be. That would be.
Yeah, yeah. That's the right answer.
You could go, though. Okay, yeah.
Yeah, and I feel like, honestly. Monsieur Bobby Lee, you and Andrew, we're happy to have you.
There is a little black man outside trying to get in. He ordered the French fries.
Yeah, yeah. So my point is, so a Michelin star restaurant.
So last night I went to a two star. There's one on La Cienega.
Yes. And it cost a lot.
How much per person?

400.

Jesus Christ.

And you don't even drink booze.

No.

See, because when I drink alcohol and if I go to any fancy restaurant, it's another fuckload of money because you're drinking two drinks.

Each drink is like 40 bucks.

But it's also a two and a half hour event.

Yes.

It's a night out.

So you don't do this.

This is like a dance or something.

Or is it just what?

Just eat it.

What do you see? Is it do this like people singing and dance or something or is it just what just eating what do you see what do you see what do you see did you see dancing are people singing and dancing yes no it's not a black funeral there's a show oh there is a dance he did he did he did he did yeah yeah I saw a black funeral once on TV or whatever it's the most fun some guy did a fucking somersault crying. Into the casket? No, toward the casket though.

He tumbled toward it.

It was amazing.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

Why do you guys get so...

Anyway.

Well, you know.

This is very emotional people.

This is very not 2021 we're doing.

What is not?

What is it?

We're very stereotypical and we're telling jokes that are like...

We've been doing this since the beginning of the show.

I know.

I understand that.

Let's move on.

So anyway, the Michelin star restaurant. You want to stop having fun on the show? There's one called Cali on Melrose.
I've been to twice. Yeah.
It's really good, but we should take you to one. I'm being real.
No, we should. We should take him to Cali or one of these ones.
Like Bestia in downtown. Is it Michelin? I love...
I like... I've been to Four Seasons.
Is that the same? No, but they do have very high-end chefs. I didn't pay either.
Eric Griffin and them. Well, Gerard and them paid.
Gerard paid. Yeah.
Let's make Eric pay for this. Let's take EP and make Eric pay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eric will pay for this.
Yeah, he should. For you being on this program.
Okay. For being on this program.
Oh, so anyway, let's go back to the Laugh Factory. So I'm in trouble there.
What did you do? So I call and I can't make it. Wait, time out.
Yeah. The Michelin star restaurant.
You went there with whom? My brother. Just you and Steve? Yeah, yeah.
Steve, my restaurant you went there with whom my brother you just you and Steve yeah yeah and Steve my boy what did he get it's it's it's one of those sushi restaurants where you can't order oh oh you went to uh park no no no we went on the La Ciena it's the parks on a fucking Michelin star restaurant sushi park is I don't know but anyway um is it yeah it is he's talking about above Joe's pizza no sushi park that's that's That's Michel? Oh, yeah. All right, my bad.
But that one, there's no menu either. Okay.
Wait a minute. So how do you go on a Michelin website to find this menu? What is this? Yeah.
When you're ordering tires, right? You click on, I want to- I'm going to get two sets of snow tires and snow crab. I'm just trying to educate myself.
We love it. That's why we love you.
That's why we love you. Actually, by the way, yes, he's right.
You can go to the Michelin website to find out the restaurants that are on the Michelin. Exactly, you can.
So yes, you can. You can't make reservations or look at probably menus and stuff.
Pete, look it up. I mean, you know what? You might be more right than you think.
Okay. And we laugh for no reason.
We laugh for no reason. We're laughing in your face.
What's the fanciest restaurant you've been to?

In here in California?

Yeah.

No, give us Nevada first.

Delaware?

Let's go from East Coast.

Delaware on.

I've been to four seasons.

That's it.

That's nice.

That's nice, yeah. Okay, so look.

Michelin Guide has,

they've got like,

look, you can scroll down.

You can see the restaurants

that they've got on.

They have hotel ratings and all sorts of stuff. Yeah.
Discover the Michelin Guide restaurant guide restaurant selection so there you go you can look it up right there on the website so why don't you say why don't you talk shit back to bobby for laughing at you about that he's an asshole more than that give him something more than that well you know it ain't worth it he's not even worth the fucking energy right now oh wow all right i'm the one that called you to get on this podcast. That's true.
I've been to Michelin in Japan, by the way. Yeah, which one? It was called Sai.
S-A-I? Sai? Was it good? Was it fucking good? How much was it? Too much. How much was it? I'm embarrassed about that kind of stuff.
You're proud of it. I'm embarrassed.
No, I'm not embarrassed. I'm embarrassed, too.
You have to say it because I said 400 a fucking pop. Bobby, you been out of the country before too? Fucking...
What's wrong with... Hey, man.
This fucking guy... Hey, man.
This fucking... I mean, you know.
I'll tell you where I've been in the world. Okay? Okay.
I've been to Tokyo, Korea, right? I've been to South Africa, London, England. Yeah.
France. Yeah.
Germany. Oh, your favorite.
Germany Australia Germany's my favorite you love that yeah yeah yeah also yeah I can like wear the outfit yeah do you still have that jacket yeah I do yeah Mexico I've been to Honduras Honduras Canada obviously what else where else have I been? The Philippines, obviously.

Hold on, my mom's calling.

Mom, you're on the Bad Friends podcast with me and Bobby and our special guest, Doc.

Say hi.

Miss Santino!

Hey, Mom, how come you didn't call me back

the four times that I called you today?

I'm calling you now.

Yeah, but I was going through a tough time all day today.

I called you crying from the McDonald's drive-thru this morning.

You didn't call me back.

That's funny. I love you.
I'll you crying from the McDonald's drive-thru this morning. You didn't call me back.
That's funny.

I love you.

I'll call you after the show.

Bye.

Love you.

Yeah.

Bye.

So yes,

I've been out of the country.

Oh, wow.

Have you?

Tijuana.

This guy's like a classic.

What'd you do in Tijuana?

You're a classic.

Other than buy chiclets.

What did you do down there?

Okay, so me and the comic

named Cisco,

we did a show in. I love Cisco.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we just went over there to get some tacos.
Oh, so you were in San Diego doing a show? Yeah, and we walked across the border. Tacos.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Brown tacos? Yeah, just regular brown tacos. On a street or in a restaurant? It was in a hotel.
The street. Yeah, it's the street tacos.
Yeah, we went to a restaurant over there. He went to have tacos.
The Four Seasons in Tijuana. No.
We were just walking blocks, too. Tacos.
They met two tacos at a bar, and they had tacos at a hotel. I see.
That's what they did. That's what they did.
Yeah, yeah. What did you do down there? Tacos.
Yeah, bro. He went down to tacos.
Anyway. He walked around.
Can I go back to the La factory now what happened yes so in the background I was talking to Enrique the manager in the background I hear great dude I love him is trying to flip that place around hard after the pandemic he used to work for him for the improv too when he worked there I loved him so I hear in the background the son of a bitch this fucking guy we calling him you know what I mean about you it's Jamie Mas hear in the background, the son of a bitch, this fucking guy we're calling, you know what I mean? Him. About you? It's Jamie Masada in the background.
About you? Yeah. And I go, what the fuck is he rambling about? And then Jamie comes on.
You broke my foot. You broke his foot? Yes.
When? Two years ago. Wait, what? Yeah.
How? I broke his foot. Doing what? So I was at the Laugh Factory before the pandemic, and I had a good set, and I was like jumping around in the lobby.
I see it right now. Right? And he goes, you calm down, calm down, right? And I walked up, and what are you going to do? Right? And I started hopping, right? And I slammed down on my foot, on his foot.
And you broke his foot. And he goes, he was drunk.
So he goes, ah, ah. He's like screamed.
He goes, ah, ah. And I thought he was kidding around, like not exaggerating.
He goes, buddy, buddy, I think something went wrong. I go, I'll see you later.
You broke it. I go to the store.
He's 90 years old. I know.
I go, see you later. Right? Yeah.
And then he never called me one time for years. Should we call him? What? Should we call him? Yeah.
Let's see how he's going. Let's see if what i see by the way you know you know what i

used to do to jamie uh misada people that don't know jamie's the owner of the laugh factory really

sweet guy he i used to complain that they weren't paying us enough yeah so i'm not kidding because

you know he would he takes money by the door for for tickets and seats yeah for the booth yeah so

i'm he'll attest to this i'll bully him i would bully him in the hallway i go i want more money

yeah and he goes come on buddy but i would do it in front of people and i'm not kidding i would

grab money out of his pocket and take it and he'd be like come on yo just come in the thing or no

Thank you. I go, I want more money.
Yeah. And he goes, come on, buddy.
But I would do it in front of people. And I'm not kidding.

I would grab money out of his pocket and take it.

And he'd be like, come on.

Will this come in the thing or no?

Huh?

Will this come in the earpiece? It's going to be through here.

Oh, just do that.

Because I'm not connected.

Okay.

Did you actually call him, Jamie?

Yeah.

I'm going to talk about his broken foot.

But I'm going to tell you that the money story is real.

I used to bully him bad.

One time I stole 400 bucks from him Michelin

Went right to the restaurant after that boy

He's not going to answer, he's two kids now

Let's see what he picks up for

That's funny

He had a second kid?

Let's see what he picks up for

Yeah, he had two kids

Wow

Yeah

That old Persian sperm is strong

It's all those years of oppression

Went into his balls He created two Okay created two little kids. Hang up now.
Do you hang up? Hold on. Yeah, that's his kid.
This is an exercise and he's going to pick up the phone just because it keeps ringing now. No, that's not what it is.
Yes, it is. Oh, hilarious.
Yes, because it's ringing now. He's going to be like, what are all these people calling me for? Something happened.
No, that's not what it is. I would do the same thing.
He's not going to pick up for me. Yes, he will because he saw his phone blown up.
That's not right. If his phone's blowing up, it's because he thinks, oh my God, something happened.
Why are you so paranoid that he... Because you're doing this.
This is bad. Do he know y'all got this podcast? I don't think we even know each other.
He knows we got the podcast. Yeah, he does.
Yeah. All so he's not picking up.
Let me wait. But I'll leave a message maybe to say sorry for breaking your tongue.
Yeah, you should. That's very cute.
That's very cute. That's his wife.
Jamie, Bobby Lee, man. Hey, man, I'm sorry for your foots and I just last night I was last night I was like thinking about it and I felt really bad about breaking your foot it's funny though I'm sorry I'm sorry but it's funny and good luck and good luck bud I'll see you soon love you love you yeah so I broke his foot and he was pissed yeah He's literally, he's like, he's one of those like Egyptian mystics where he might be a thousand years old.
Yeah, he- Like just returning again. He has one of those vibes.
Yeah. Right.
Yeah, yeah. He also knows like, he hangs up with a, look at Quincy Jones as one of his best friends.
Yeah. So they tour the- Quincy Jones? Bro, he's- Oh, you know him though.
I don't know. Of course.
Jamie's collection of old of old friends is insane. I mean, dude, he used to...
His legacy is understated because Mitzi gets all this credit for the comedy store and nobody talks about... Jamie ran that area of Sunset on his own, solely on his own.
Well, the club at first was... He bought that thing.
But I thought he was like... I thought like the highest he had was like Damon Wayans.

What do you mean?

Fucking everybody performed?

No, no, no.

Yeah, I don't know.

I'm thinking of comedy.

So in the beginning, it was just a hallway.

Do you know that?

Yeah.

So when you walk into the lobby of the fucking Laugh Factory, that's essentially what it was.

Look at what Pete spelled it.

Jamie Ayosada.

Like he's Japanese.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got it right there.

See what it says.

Did you mean?

Just click on that one, Pete. Learning Google for the first time.
There he is. Look at him looking fucking good.
He looks good right there. A little handsome.
He looks great. And he talks like this, body, body, body, body.
So Jamie, and then later, obviously, they bought the rest of the club. Yeah.
But back in the, like, probably in the 90s and 2000s and stuff, I think if Comedy Store had the reign of the 70s and 80s and part of the 90s, Jamie definitely took it over the rest of the time because he discovered, he had a lot of acts that we didn't have at the store. Dane was huge for him.
All the Wayans brothers. Harlan Williams back when Harlan was hot.
Chappelle used to go over there a lot. Yeah, a lot of people fucked with that guy.
That guy's the best luck. Because you know why? He's a really good dude.
He's a good guy. He's always been a good dude.
He really is a sweet guy. And he cared about comedy a lot.
Like he just wanted to be able to make, you know, a lot of club owners, I think they want to get famous. Yeah.
And they also want to do stand up. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, he was a comedian, right? Yeah, he was.
Yeah, yeah. But he knew when he didn't need to be a comedian anymore.
You know what I mean? He learned pretty fucking fast. He worked at the store.
He was a cover booth guy. I know.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.
But he learned that he wasn't going to be a comedian. He knew he needed to cultivate talent.
I mean, he figured it out that he was like, I got to stop doing this. And he also discovered Tiffany Haddish.
Let's be real. 100%.
Oh, yeah, yeah. 100%.
When she was 16. She used to take the bus.
I met her then. There she is right there.
There she is right there she is right there there it is yeah my beauty yeah so um Jamie could have been my wife could have great guy yeah we could have dated tell me my little secret please or the thing that I'm not supposed to know that you're gonna tell this guy cuz he is hurting I want to know I lost come on I lost just say it I lost her you lost my what fucking birthday gift? Did you seriously, dude? We don't know where it is. We don't know where it was.
We don't know where it is. Are you being fucking serious? I wasn't even supposed to tell you.
Do you know how nice that was, dude? That was such a nice gift. Thank you so much for coming.
It was a vintage fucking movie poster.

It was beautiful.

It was beautiful.

It was beautiful.

And very expensive, might I add.

It's big.

I don't know.

How did we lose it?

Are you fucking-

Yeah, I mean-

No, no, no.

Wait, wait.

Easy, easy.

Wait, wait.

Wait, wait.

Don't throw it.

Don't throw it.

Oh!

Whoa, dude.

I'm kidding.

Oh, that's real money.

I spilled water.

I'm kidding.

Are you joking? Yeah, I swear to God. That was good.
That was good. Oh, my God.
Yeah, he was just right. I'm on steroids.
You can't do that to me. You brought out the demons.
I know. God, relax.
Easy. I am on steroids right now.
I did lose it, but- You did. I know you did.
I know we lost it. I'm sorry.
I'm soaking wet. Why are you getting angry? I'm soaking wet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, give me all of it, Pete.
Just give me the roll. Thank you, Pete.
Let's give it up for Pete for the roll. I'm soaking wet.
Yeah. I'm soaking wet I'm soaking wet here give me all of it Pete just give me the roll thank you Pete let's give it up for Pete for the roll I'm soaking wet I'm on steroids that's why I'm angry prednisone you know why? you did lose it I know you did how the fuck did we lose so what's the real secret then? no isn't nothing else.
What is it? There is nothing else. I'm glad you didn't lose it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But did you like it? Loved it.
In fact, can I – have we talked about my party? A little bit, but not really. No, also people listening.
It wasn't like the party that we were going to invite fans and stuff to. No, it was a dinner.
It was basically a dinner, and it was a surprise for me. Yeah.
Okay. It was a surprise dinner.
So, Kaleala goes, hey, that's six. I'm having dinner with Sterling.
Do you want to – you should come. So, I go, all right.
Right, so we meet Sterling. So, now I'm at Chosun, this Korean restaurant.
The best. And I'm walking down.
Now, where is that at? Korea Town. Korea Town.
Korea Town. Yeah, yeah.
Hey, man, I don hey man i don't get out i know i know well now we're gonna fucking start taking it yeah yeah yeah so then i um soaking wet i come around the corner and it was like 25 20 people 17 i think was the number 17 16 people yeah 17 16 people and it was like I was like you were genuinely shocked shocked I have video of you

your mouth going like this i'm so surprised oh yeah i was so surprised but be honest yeah you got some good gifts but like i said i said when i gave you my gift i go this is unorthodox it's unusual i think he's really gonna love it i love it and i go he'll love it when he gets home and like look he gets to look at it yeah it's beautiful you got a lot of stuff yeah yeah it's beautiful and and you also you weren't your wife i wasn't sure but um you guys you can say it's scuba scuba yeah you guys both you know i mean you guys um put a lot into it and a lot of attention into it thank you and it's also you stayed for the whole thing yeah yeah you didn't even stay for the whole thing because i had to do a dumb phone i know but that's ironic you. And it's also, you stayed for the whole thing.
Yeah. Yeah.
You didn't even stay for the whole thing. No, because I had to do a dumb found.
I know, but that's ironic. You left.
I left. Wait, you left, Griff left.
I turned around. Yeah.
It was me and Rosenbaum. Mike Rosenbaum, yeah.
Me and Rosie, and I was, he's like, you got to get your back fixed in Marina Del Rey. DoorDash.
I'll tell you what, Andrew, when I go anywhere, or anywhere in this country. Anywhere? Oh, yeah.
Because you can use it all over the country. Yeah.
That's true. My number one delivery service I use is DoorDash because they're most effective.
It's the only one I have on my phone. They're nice, fast.
They have the most variety of places. By far.
Did you forget something at the store? Now you can get snacks, drinks, and household essentials in 30 minutes with DoorDash. Come on, man.
Dinner? Check. Deodorant, check.
Morning pick-me-up from Dunkin' Donuts, check. Get everything you need whenever you need it with DoorDash.
You want Chinese or Korean or pizza? Yeah. Yeah.
If someone's craving fro-yo in your house with sprinkles, there's something for everybody at DoorDash. They connect you with the restaurants you love right now, right to your door.
And it is safe and contactless so so they can drop off of your front door without you even seeing the human that did it. With over 300,000 partners in the US, Puerto Rico, Canada, and Australia, you can support your neighborhood go-tos or choose from your favorite national restaurants like Popeyes, Chipotle, and Cheesecake Factory.
Look, all this stuff aside, Bob and I use this app because we love this app. And if you get food delivered, why wouldn't you use it and try it for a limited time? Our listeners get 25% off and zero delivery fees on their first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter the code BADFRIENDS2021.
That's 25% off, up to a $10 value and zero delivery fees on your first order when you download the DoorDash app in the App Store and enter the code BADFRIENDS2021. Don't forget, Bob, that's BADFRIFriends2021.
For 25% off your first order with DoorDash, subject to change terms apply. Blue Chew! Oh my God, I'm getting old, you know.
Yeah. And my peepee don't work.
Not as much as it used to. But you know what? It's working now, I'll tell you why.
Because of Blue Chew. That's right.
I've been using it and it works. It does.
It has the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis, but in chewable tablets and at a fraction of the cost you take them anytime day or night plan ahead be ready whenever the opportunity arises the process is simple sign up at bluechew.com consult with one of their licensed medical providers once you're approved you're going to receive a prescription within days to get your pp hard blue chew tablets are made in the usa we love the usa yeah because we're americans yeah prepared and shipped direct to your door in a discreet package yeah and by the way we've both used them they definitely work uh it gets you up and ready to go yeah uh fall is coming and you need a stiff breeze you could use some blue chew you know it we know it if you could benefit from some, Blue Chew can help. We've got special deal for our listeners.
Try Blue Chew for free when you use the promo code BADFRIENDS at checkout. Just pay $5 for shipping.
That's bluechew.com, promo code BADFRIENDS to receive your first month free. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information.
And we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast. You know Mike Rosenbaum? No.
Lex Luthor. You ever see Smallville? You talking about the Superman movie? Yeah, but I don't know.
Oh, he played Lex Luthor. Oh, okay, yeah, the bar.
By the way, you and Kirk Fox making a great showing in Reservation Dogs. You saw it? Yeah, and I saw Burrs in there too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dude, that show, I told you, that show I watched before I knew you were in it.

I forgot that that was the name of the show that you did with Taka.

Oh, really?

Yeah, it was great.

That's him bald.

So Rosie came, and who else came?

Oh, you know who else?

Huh, David Cho?

Oh, David Cho came.

Who else came?

Gina Gershon came.

Gina Gershon came.

Yeah.

Who else came?

Brandon Dermer. Dermer, my boy.
My boy. Dermer Dermer you are a boy love and then a few other close Nick Gene came who I love I love that guy I asked him to write us an episode really please well by the way for those that want to know it was divided into an Asian table and a non-Asian table I'm so fucking sick of this you guys vacationing Hawaii thing I'm tired of it why because I'm jealous I don't get a fucking vacation you can buy a ticket tell me when I have time we find the time for shit like that no you ruin other stuff and you make time for it what this is what I know you tell there's a different energy tonight i love steroids i know somebody photoshopped joe rogan on my yeah yeah yeah yeah so um yeah but you you here's the thing i don't do the road because right you don't need the money i wanted i love stand exactly my point is is that stand-.
I like it. Right? I'm in love with it.
I know. I like it, but it's like, I'd rather go to Hawaii.
Nah, fuck that. So that's just what we choose.
I'd rather go to Hawaii and take a vacation, but right now we can tour for a year and a half, so I want to tour. I want to go do stand-up.
Okay. That's your choice.
Do you want a little break in between there, get a little pleasure up in there? No. Have you been to Hawaii? I do.
Have you been to Hawaii? I ain't even been out the country. So technically it's out the country.
Well you went to Mexico. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. But I'm saying.
It's a different country. I've been to Canada before.
I've been to Canada before. He doesn't need to know.
Is that colonization? Kinda. Yeah.
I mean here's what we do. costa rica costa rica is insane we went down there yeah and they were like hey we can't afford to have an army and we were like all right you can use our army but then we're gonna get to do whatever we want yeah and costa rica was like okay yeah that's a fair exchange well then we get to help them against the other you know against like panama and all these other places that want to fucking kill them.
Ah. But we did that because we wanted more access to the Panama Canal.
Right. And also, we probably have a huge military base there, right? In Costa Rica? In Costa Rica? Yeah.
I mean, I can't talk about size, but I know that our presence is there. Like, our soldiers are there.
There's not three guys with, like, handguns. So funny.
We have an army. Just three guys.
On a beach? A couple of guys used to work at a store. Yeah.
But there's one. There's a turtle, John.
Yeah. Well, look at this.
For the last time, the US does not have an army base in Costa Rica. Look at that.
It says we don't have a base. Wow.
Yeah, I mean. So, Doc, since we last saw you.
We just have active soldiers there, but no base. Since we last saw you, have you been fucking or what? To the embassy what is wrong with you? what have you been up to? since we last saw you what have you been doing? I've just been chilling, working doing a few shows and that's it are you depressed or happy? I'm happy for the most part are you fucking? nah I'm chilling are you on dating sites? I'm just chilling.
What's going on? I'm like... You're saying it like you're hiding something from us.
Are you in a relationship and we don't know? Nah. Be real with me then.
Be straight up because you know I love you. Be straight up.
Straight up. Right now I'm chilling.
Because you don't want to fuck with anybody. Yeah.
Let me ask you another question, all right? Good for you. You and I are about the same height.
Would we agree I was taller? He was an inch taller than you.

No, he wasn't.

You're 5'1".

He's 5'4".

Oh, that's right.

Yeah.

I'm tall.

How are you?

5'3".

5'3".

You're 5'1".

We're both 5'3".

So we're the same size.

Well, you're not the same size.

Because you know that stereotype, right?

That black...

What is it?

Our big... Okay.
But do you think you and I... Wait, what's the stereotype? The blacks...
What is that? The black dick. Their pants are better? Their pants are better.
What are you pointing at? The dick. He's pointing at his pee-pee.
The dick. I don't know what it is.
Well, you know what a dick is, bro. I don't know what the stereotype is.
That they're bigger? That they're bigger brains? They have bigger brains. No, the genitals are bigger.

Like their testicles?

Both, maybe.

Okay.

I've never heard it.

Never heard it.

But because you're so small, right?

And we were naked side by side to each other, right?

We're about to go down this path.

No, it's not gay.

We're not going down to gay pal.

Let's just see what's going on.

We're not going down.

You and I, let me paint out a scenario, okay? An alien race. They kind of look like Koreans, basically.
Yeah, and they're like, you know, let's capture a couple specimens. I've got two of them, boss.
Yeah, I got two of them. One of them's black and now you and I are both like in a, you know, a futuristic cyber cage.
A probing cage. A probing cage.
Probing cage. But we're completely naked.
Of course. So we're strapped down on the bench, right? Both of us.
No, but we're kind of upright. It's like these metal slabs, right? Okay.
And it's really cool. Sounds more like a fantasy to you.
Yeah, this is going on. Metal slabs, completely naked, right? Right.
Arms and legs strapped in. We're strapped in like this.
We're strapped in. And you know, at first we look at each other, what the fuck is, we would look at each other, right? Yeah, it's real.
And for some reason, you have an erection. Why, Doc? Why do you have an erection in this situation? Maybe because I'm thinking about space pussy.
I want to get it in. All right.
Space pussy. Space pussy.
That's a good one. Truest thing I've ever heard.
Truest thing I've ever heard. You see some space pussy go by Now right So then we're like this And we're on slabs We're tired right And you can't get hard I can't get hard It's tough It's hard It's hard It's difficult Well it's not hard Now why is that I'm getting older Okay But maybe with you You think if you looked over At his penis hard You would be be like- I think if his penis was hard- You would get hard.
I'd just be like, why is he excited? I'm excited. Yeah.
You don't want to be left out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It would go that quick. Okay, some motivation.
Yeah, like, why is Doug hard? Why is Doug hard? I'm hard. Okay.
Right? So we're both hard now. I see it now.
Right? And the aliens, why are they hard? Well, they don't know what it is. What? They wouldn't know what that is.
They wouldn't know what genitals are. No, no, no.
They wouldn't understand why it rose. I'm sure they did.
No. They could travel 35,000 light years and they don't know what that is? Then why are they examining you naked? They want to compare the penis sizes.
That could be. I think they just want to suck us.
Maybe. You think so? Yeah.
Yeah. So which ones, so the aliens, which one do you want to suck off first? Right? Well, the smaller one seems more palatable.
Yeah, yeah. But now, would we have the same size? We would have the same size? Or do you think yours would be bigger? Mine would be bigger.
All right. So confident.
So confident. I don't like it.
So very fast. I don't even like it.
Yeah, yeah. I doubt it.
I'm a goddamn slugger, but I'm all right. You're all right.
Yeah, you're all right. Right.
Like between all right. Between you and what's the guy from Different Strokes? Gary Coleman.
Gary Coleman, the guy. Now, are you guys the same type of blacks? The same type of blacks? Man, this is just...
I don't know what that was right there. Emanuel? Who you been hanging on? Emanuel Lewis.
Was it Lewis? Emanuel Lewis, yeah. Emanuel Lewis.
Me and Emanuel Lewis. Gary Coleman.
Are you guys the same type of blacks? I mean, I don't think. I don't know.
I don't know how to take that. I feel so bad saying it.
Yeah, you should. I know, but what I'm saying, there's only like four of you.
You, Spud Web. No, there's Mugsy Bogs.
Yeah, maybe kids. The kids, right? Maybe like a 12-year-old kid, right? It's your size.
No, no, we're talking about grown men. We're grown men men.
We're grown men, yeah. So when it comes to grown men, right? It's you.
You. Muggsy Bogues.
Muggsy Bogues. Spud Webb.
Spud Webb. Emmanuel Lewis.
And Gary Coleman. And Kevin Hart.
Kevin Hart is one, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kevin Hart's small. Small, yeah.
He's taller than me, but anyway. How do you know? How tall is Kevin Hart? He's about 5'4", 5'5".
He's not. I'm shooting a movie with him right now.
I shot a movie with him and he's not. I'm taller than him.
Between 5'2 and 5'4. Yeah, I'm taller than him.
He's your height. He's your type.
Okay. I don't know what that means.
Who is that racist? I don't know. I'm not being racist.
Time out. Am I being racist? Yeah, that's in your heart.
Don't look at me. Yeah, yeah.
Separate. Ask Doc if you're being racist.
Am I being racist? Yeah, oh yeah. How is that racism? It's sizeism.
That's how you are. It's sizeism.
It's not racism. That's how you are.
Stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You said, are you the same type of black? Yeah, small black people. Well, that's not racism.
No, no, no. But then you would just say, are you all the same size? Are you a dwarf or a little person? Is that what you're talking about? No, that's not.
No, I wouldn't. First of all, let me say something.
What are you saying, bro? Number one, I know you're not a dwarf or a little person. Correct.
Right? Because I couldn't go there with you the way I'm talking now. That's true.
What do you mean? That's true. I wouldn't be able to say these things, I don't think.
Maybe. Brad Williams is a friend.
Yeah, I probably would. You were a comic, right? So what I'm saying is that you're a full-grown.
You're full-grown, right? You're full-grown. You're not going to grow out longer? Yeah, no.
Just do it. Ask him the same question.
That's not fair. Why? Are you full-grown? Maybe.
I'm not offended by the fucking question. You're the smallest one i've seen i'm the smallest what say it i'm the smallest one little yellow bellies yellow bellies wow i'm sorry all right now everyone listening to that right now right Now what do you think of Doc Do your commenting now my friends You made him do that Alright so my point is I was first of all Going down a comedy path I saw You saw the comedy path right And then the path got There was stuff in it Obstacles And I went around them Landmines Landmines right I feel like I got to the other side unscathed You did, you did okay Although the yellow belly stuff is going to stick out This episode is going to be called yellow belly I didn't know he had it in him, no I'm not like that I was vibing all day Yes he was vibing Call me yellow belly again Thank you Thank you so much You do correct all your gold at the end of the day.
You little black bastard. Hey.
Hey. Hey.
Hey. Hey.
Hey. Hey.
You know what I'm saying? Why did you say bastard? I'm sorry. I'm just saying, listen, okay? I just want to know.
I want to fuck you. If you're at the comedy store, right? Yeah.
And you see Emmanuel Lewis. He's dead.
No. No.
Emmanuel's still alive alive Gary Coleman's dead Oh right Yeah yeah

And you guys eye each other

You might not even say hi

But there's a connection

Do you guys go

What's up

He's another

Like another one

You know you bond

That's how you do it

From the hood

I feel you

No not just what you do

To another blind guy

He's asking if you get

A different kind of nod

Oh like a

Oh a little dude

Little black dude connection

Is that a thing

Like an energy or something

I mean it could be

It could be

Some like magical

I'm not going to be able to do that. little dude connection is that a thing like an energy some like magical like you know very fucking do you think they have a secret handshake or some shit yeah yeah yeah maybe they're like a different maybe they aliens.
Tiny black men? I mean, think about it. Well, you remember the Zimbabwe incident with the UFO situation? Tell me.
You didn't see it on a phenomenon? No, what? I don't know. What's Zimbabwe? So in Africa, these kids at school were visited by these black aliens, and they were little, and a couple of them were chubby.
Now, this is real talk. Hold on.
Let him finish. I want to hear it.
Yeah. Google it.
School kids who said they saw aliens. Even now they had it on Joe Rogan talking about it.
You know what I'm saying? This is real talk. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. In 1994, 60 children at the aerial school in Rua, Zimbabwe, said they'd seen a UFO and aliens with big eyes in bushland near their playground.
The story was reported around the world. Wow.
Okay. And you said black aliens.
Yeah, they're black. That's what they claim.
That's what they said. So number one, right? It's not that, but in the middle of the night? How did they see him? It wasn't in the night.
It was during the day. Oh, it had to.
Yeah. Also, Andrew, this is a story you and I aren't privy to, right? What do you mean? But we didn't know about this, though.
Of course not. But he does.
Why? Oh, that is interesting. Interesting, right think something that you know something about, and you absorb it, you throw it out casually like that, there's a connection.
So what do you know? Where are you from? Where are you from? I'm from here. What are you guys? What planet are you from, dude? I am from Earth.
They don't like that word, the P word. What star are you located? Yeah my god he's wearing a fucking nasa shirt yeah yeah oh is that not a dead giveaway i love her you fucking foreign oh my god yeah yeah i'm scooting over yeah yeah yeah that's what they say don't be scared they don't be scared yeah yeah don't be scared's what they teach them.
When you're in space, what do you travel through? Wormhole. Black hole.
It might not. It's all lighting up.
You travel through black holes. What do they say right there? That's a black hole.
It's a black hole in this fucking shirt. Oh my God.
Oh my God. Bro, where are you from? Where are you from, from? I'm trying to tell you, bro.
Yeah. Oh my God.
You think you know me? Yeah. But you don't know me.
You understand what I'm saying? Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.
Holy shit. I could see 80 years ago, right? Yeah.
Five of them. Of him's? Kevin, him, Emmanuel, Gary, right? That's for the aliens? No, they went.
They were them. No, yeah, they went, let's go to Hollywood.
So they land in Zimbabwe. Yeah, and they're like, we'll become actors, you become a comedian.
Oh my god. That's perfect.
Oh no, Kevin. Kevin's a comedian.
Yeah. Two of us will be actors.
One basketball, you play basketball. Cat Williams, he's short too.
Cat Williams. He'll do crack.
Yeah, you'll do crack. Easy, fellas.
wait wait is that not a real story didn't he do crack and punch someone in a grocery store I don't know nothing about that so do you see what he did he protected they protect each other he protected Cat he didn't smoke crack in the grocery store and punch someone in the face Cat Williams opens up about drug enhancing the creativity of comedian Faison Love says Cat Williams is on crack that's why I love Faison Love so um alright so you're denying it denying what? where you're from yeah of course no what do you mean? I've told you where I'm from I don't buy. I think you came down in Zimbabwe.
Yeah. You and the others.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think so too.
This is going to be called the most racist podcast of all time. No, are you? Huh? I don't think so.
No. There's three of us.
I think it's race. You got one of me, one of you, and one of him.
Yeah, yeah. We should be okay.
We're fine. Are you offended? No, for what? Wait, because we're broke.
No, here's the thing. Of course not.
I always equate it to like back in the day when you had a harbor city or a town, right? And you'd had people from different lands, you know what I mean? In a port somewhere, right? And the way they would bond with each other is they would call each other's nicknames and make fun of each other's accents. Sure.
And rib on each other. Sure.
Then they would go to the bar or whatever, have a drink, right? And that's how human beings connected, right? And it's like, they're trying to take all that away. Well, here's the thing.
We're always going to do it with people that you love. You just can't do it to people you don't know anymore.
Exactly. But it was so fun to do it to strangers.
Of course! Of course! Coinbase! Hey, if you identify as crypto curious and you've thought about entering the world of cryptocurrency and felt a little bit overwhelmed, trust me, you're not alone. Coinbase makes learning to buy and sell very simple.
Cryptocurrency might feel like a secret or exclusive club, but Coinbase believes that everyone, I mean everyone, everywhere, should be able to get in the door. Whether you've been trading for years or just getting started, Coinbase can help.
It sure can. I use Coinbase.
I am into crypto. If you've been following the cryptocurrency craze, you know it's time to start getting involved.
Coinbase makes it quick and easy to start your own portfolio and learn to trade like a pro. Everybody is doing it.
You should do it. There's some good money to be made, man.
If you're smart about it, it's legit. Finally, after all these years, people were nervous.
It's going to help your financial portfolio. It's always good to diversify.
Why not try to use Coinbase? They offer a trusted and easy to use platform to sell by cryptocurrency, portfolio management protection, learning resources, a mobile app. You can trade securely and monitor your crypto from one place.
Millions of people and over 100 countries trust Coinbase with their digital assets. So for a limited time, new users can get $5 in free Bitcoin when you sign up today at Coinbase.com slash BadFriends.
Sign up at Coinbase.com slash BadFriends for $5 in free Bitcoin. This offer is for a limited time only, so be sure to sign up today.
That's Coinbase.com slash BadFriends. Express VPN.
Oh, I love VPNs, Andrew, right? I can watch stuff all over the world now. Yeah, you can.
I know that none of you guys watch porn. In case you have any friends that do, you'll want to pay attention to this, porn freaks.
With everything going on in the world, governments have increased their surveillance using their devices to track your location movements in many countries, your internet activity. You don't want to be caught with your pants down.
One of the best ways is to keep your online browsing activity private by using Express VPN.

When you use Express VPN, your internet connection is rerouted through a secure encrypted server

so you can surf the web anonymously without anyone looking over your shoulder.

You did this when you were in Hungary, right?

When you were overseas, you were watching stuff.

I did VPNs.

VPN.

Because I was able to watch from my streaming devices. It says it's blocked but when I use VPN I can watch anything got them even when you use incognito mode your internet provider can see every single website that you visit you guys already know that and if you live on campus if you're in college and you shared wifi of a network the admin can see that too to be honest it's a little kind of sketchy you're leaving yourself wide open that's why we use ExpressVPN whenever we go it to everyone.
You should do the same. Without ExpressVPN, you're giving people free license and access to peek over your shoulder and see the freaky stuff that you're looking at.
Or not freaky stuff, but you don't want other people to see your stuff. Yep.
Protect your privacy. Yeah.
Go ahead. So protect your privacy today and get three months of ExpressVPN for free.
Visit expressvpn.com slash bad friends. That's E-X- that's e-x-p-r-e-s-s v-p-n.com slash bad friends for three months free with a one-year package visit expressvpn.com slash bad friends to learn more you know you have a weird like a cool confidence now what do you mean just off stage i've been observing you what are you talking about they're just a thing where it's like you walk into like a room or a hall with the hallway or you're walking down and just your voice and the way you walk and stuff which is you know archie you know me archie yeah and just slinging you know i mean and people kind of moving out of your way yeah yeah now i'm being real that's not i've been observing you for real dude and i'm like huh but it's not done out of us why it's, yeah.
Now I'm being real. That's not true.
I've been observing you for real, dude.

And I'm like,

huh.

But it's not done out of-

He's got a swire.

It's not out of-

You're not being cocky.

It's just you,

I think you've gotten

to the next level

or something

and you demand

a certain amount.

And I'm the same way.

Sure.

A respect.

But there's something

like a,

you know,

a rat pack flare.

Okay, I'll take it.

Right, right. But don't say D, not say d not demand command no it's the more demand no i think i command something i have a commanding presence so do you but it was never always it was never like that with you sure because i was probably more sad before yeah before you were like hunchy yeah and you would For what? Just being in the grind.
I think sometimes the grind got to me.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And then now, I think what he's saying, truthfully, and I mean this, I found that post-pandemic,

I found the rhythm I need to do comedy in.

When I used to be like, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

And now I'm like, dude, I can do less shows and work out better material in less time

if I work harder at the times that I have.

Okay.

Instead of doing three shows a night and two of them are fucking mediocre because my effort level is low right because i'm tired i'm hungry i didn't eat dinner we came from this like or whatever i think that changed my mentality that's probably what you're talking about that switch right there yeah it probably did because i feel more like i need to focus on making it good while i'm there instead of it used to be how many sets can you do you know i mean back dude you know too five years ago it was when it was fucking chaos at the store yeah how many times can i get up it was like how many times a week can i get up it was like a competition everyone's like to get on you're there yeah you're there you're there you're there you're there you're there two show main room now uh there then i'm factory then in provident yeah i think i was burning out i was fucking just burning out yeah I think that

what the pandemic

did for me

was when I'm on stage now

I don't care as much

about the reception

that's huge

for me it is

because it's like

I used to need a kill

at every moment

right

and I could see myself

not doing as well

and still being okay

like we should all

take a note from

Norm Macdonald

when you watch his stuff

yeah

like even his

even his

what's the presidential speech

you know where you do the

correspondence dinner

correspondence dinner

Thank you. Like we should all take a note from Norm MacDonald.
When you watch his stuff. Yeah.
Like even his, even his, what's the presidential speech? You know where you do the. Correspondents dinner.
Correspondents dinner. I said it.
There we go. So.
No, but even when you watch that correspondence dinner, his first joke is, I didn't want to come up here and bomb in front of the president. And it's like smattering of laughter.
Yeah. Yeah.
okay uh yeah but i he liked the idea i'm not that guy you're not that guy yeah yeah but like we should all take a little note from him when you do watch his stuff that you're like oh yeah he was comfortable just fucking around oh yeah he was just fucking around i so i was like that yeah but dave dave dave was Dave was always kind of of prophetic. He wanted to be like, what I'm saying is profound.
Where Norm was like, this is fucking dumb. And he let you sit with how dumb something was that he said.
Dave, I think, thinks his words, and I'm not shitting on it, I think he wants his words to be powerful. I think Norm wants to make you just it's more God, I wish I knew how to it's just more like it's more like little tiny little tiny jabs.
No, he's doing it above you almost. Yes, but he's letting you get there.
Right, but he also doesn't like I've seen Norm perform where you're in the audience and there are people that just don't get it. They don't get it.
Right? And I look over and I'm like, how do you not get that? But because you forget that sometimes joke structure is so familiar to comedians but not to audience members that you know he's doing it because he knows they don't get it. Did you see Norm on The View when he was promoting his – My favorite.
When he talks about Bill Clinton, the murderer. Yeah, the murderer.
It's the funniest thing on earth. But if you- I rewatched it after his passing, right? And it's a guy sticking to his guns- Oh, he doesn't bow down.
And not pendering to the liberal side of things. Dude, this is the second time you've gone nationalistic, and I love it.
Why? Because you're going full repub on this show. I'm not.
You're going repub on this show. Repub on it.

He is, bro.

Hilarious.

You know what?

You know what he said the other day?

He goes, welfare is bullshit.

No, I never said that.

I never said that.

I never said that.

Holy shit.

On the phone to me, he goes, dude, EDD is a joke.

I didn't even know the squid.

I think government serves its purpose, right?

And I like programs for the, you know. Do you want your government big or small? I like it big.
You like interactive government? But for me, because of cancel culture, right, it's driven me toward the center. I know.
We talked about this last week. I know.
So I've already said that before. But you know what? You should be able to be however you want to be.
This is who I am. I don't give a fuck.
My point is that. And Norm was like that too.
Yeah, and when I was re-watching that, I was like, you know, I don't really even agree with what he did. Norm? Yeah, on the thing.
Right. It's not like me going, because, you know, it's like, you know.
You were saying Bill Clinton was a murderer? Yeah, and it's also, it's like he's. But.
He is. They're all presidents are murderers.
But Bill is. Yeah, but all presidents are murderers.
No, I know. Okay, so it's know okay so it's like Bill Clinton did go to Epstein's Island 26 times anyway 26 so it's not like I believe in the politics of what he's saying 26 I get it so what I'm saying is that he's a guy because if I was in there in that situation I would have read the room and switched so that everyone would love me you would would have pussed out.
Yeah. And he didn't do that.
And I honor that. Yeah.
Because they were like, you're not going to be on the show anymore. He goes, I just don't want a president that's a murderer.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's amazing. It's great.
It's great. Yeah.
But you know what? That's a special type of guy. Like there was only there's only fucking one in a million people that are like that in comedy.
And it's not like who's the funniest. I don't like like when somebody goes, funniest guy to ever live.
It's like, that's not a real statement. That's not a real statement.
It's a stupid fuck. I hate when people say that.
Norm was great at what he did. He was phenomenal.
He was his own thing. That's why he was so good.
Yeah. I'm going to also say something where I've grown in, in terms of comedy.
It's like, the guy that kills the most at a club isn't necessarily the funniest guy of course not sometimes the guy that doesn't do as well right but their approach to certain topics or angles right and point of views is original and something about their persona right is like unique that not everyone's gonna get right but is extremely like inventive and innovative like gerard gerard comic that's a great example not at all no no i'm kidding yeah yeah because i'll tell you i'll tell you i'll tell you who that is now brian simpson oh brian simpson yeah he's fucking right now right now yeah i don't know if i've watched a funnier developmental mind in terms of like, he knows his voice. I'm not saying, I'm saying what he's forming right now.
Dude, he's phenomenal. He's one of the best comics out right now, by far.
Yeah, Brian's great. Look, look.
You don't want to talk about comics anymore? All right, let's cut all that. Wait, I want to get back to something real.
What's that? I want to be serious. All right.
Be real. You're taking, are you taking a break from seeing people, seeing because you want to focus on life or did something happen? You know, when my mom passed away, that was one of the things she told me she said you gotta stop dealing with all these women and just focus.
Why are you laughing? He's talking about his mom dying and you're laughing. She never said that.
Yes she did. On her dying on her deathbed.
There's no way she said that. She was like Doc Doc come over here.
Not when she was dying it was before that it was like you need to stop focusing on all this pussy get yourself in some i can't say i'm totally focused but i'm saying like i'm not i'm not i don't have a like a consistent girlfriend you know i don't doc doc you're gonna make me blow out an artery i'm gonna laugh so hard all right no i don't know what you're going to make me blow out an artery.

I'm going to laugh so hard, all right?

No, I don't know why.

I don't know why.

You're going to make me have a fucking stroke, right?

Will you stop this line of things that you're saying?

Stop right now at your tracks.

You're going down this road.

It's going to make me laugh so hard.

But then laugh because I don't care.

No, no, no.

I'm not fighting with you.

I'm my friend.

But it's absurd.

What's absurd?

This is the most ridiculous conversation.

Bobby, his mom died and gave him a piece of advice.

I'm sorry.

So what did your mom say?

She told me that I needed to focus and stop thinking about these women and messing with

these women and just do comedy and work on it. She said that when my time come, she'll come and I'll meet the one.
But I have to stop. Well, number one, because I used to mess with a lot of guys' girls, right? Oh, so you would purposely go after girls that had boyfriends? Yeah, because you ain't have to pay for the dinners and dates and stuff.
So you just fuck, right? was like wait wait stop did you do this a lot yeah that was here's what did you fuck our girls no no no did you fuck our girls fucking stop fucking stop bro stop this is not true well i hope you have a stroke then go ahead wait a minute did you and Zimbabwe alien crew fuck our girls? No, we didn't. Okay, good.
Wait a minute. So you would find out- So this is what it is.
Wait, wait. You'd find out that they would have a boyfriend, and then you'd move in.
Yeah, so the last woman that I talked to her about in that situation, I was just talking to her, and it was a woman, and I found out that another guy liked her, and she was this guy so I would tell my mother I was like you know what I'm gonna go ahead and take her from him and then she goes don't you do that shit I'm sick of you doing that shit and I go what? I don't go what? What do you mean? sick of doing what? She said you've been doing this shit all the time you always taking people's girls stop doing it and I said nah I haven't been maybe you're right and then she said my bad and she said and then I was like well i said well that's not that's not true she said please you've been doing that since i've known you that's all you do she said so stop doing it she said from now on i want you to find your own girl like just get that's pretty valid wise it's pretty valid yeah yeah she's right and then it's it's very you can put this have you ever gotten in trouble with the boyfriend?

Did you ever get caught?

Nah, because I was like one of those dudes that was satisfied with,

you want to fuck?

And then get the fuck out.

Yeah, and then go back to him.

Let's go.

You're like that meme I see,

like a guy climbing out the window with his pants.

No, I never had to sleep.

Where is he?

I never had to sleep.

Are you high right now?

They just come to the curb. No.
All right. He doesn't get high? You don't get high? No.
No, I don't get high. Why did you ask him that? I get a little vino though, Bobby.
I get that barefoot in that Sutter home. Yeah.
You don't like that Sutter? No. Okay.
Wait. Also, Doc.
What up? No dating sites. No, I don't fuck with dating sites.
Then how do you meet these? I did. You did now.
Can we start a profile from this show for you? Can we what? Can we create a Tinder profile? For you. Nah.
Please. Nah.
Do you have a Tinder? Nah. We're going to do it right now.
Let's do it. The boys are going to do it right now.
I mean, you meet women all over the place. No, no, no.
It's you. We're going to create a profile with you, right? And your profile picture.
I'm not. Here's.
We're going to make Andres run it. I don't have a problem with gay women.
That's not what you're saying. What the fuck is y'all doing? I don't need Chuck Willery.
I don't need that. Chuck Willery.
That's good. Let's just stop for a second, okay? What is this? Listen, we want you on this podcast to fill in for Jules when she's gone.
I think we might just replace Jules. I know.
You're like the second. You're on the team.
Yes. You're on the team, right? And you're on the bench, but we're going to sub you in a bunch of times.
Okay. Because I think our fans like you.
We like you. It's a good chemistry's a good chemistry i love you right right so i think that it'd be great for a bit right to create a tinder profile see how he tried to debate right now well this is going to get cut out because we're going to do the bit what do you mean we're doing it i know we're doing yeah you don't even need to tell him right so but in the profile photo right is going to be you and you and i you're in the center and we're with you, right? It'll be great.
So good. It'll be great, right? And you're going to get so many fucking- But we want to record you going on a date with one of these girls because we want you to get a nice girl too.
I know you can get girls, but your past has been you getting girls who have boyfriends. Let's get you a good one.
No, we wear suits and we're his bodyguard but that's not the only love it what y'all making like that's not the only thing like only dudes with you know only you said it you said it yeah but i'm saying though i it's both but yeah i just used to hook up with a lot of man you guys are uh we believe yeah y'all make I'm this evil dude. Let us get you a nice girl.

We want to get you a nice girl. I don't need you.

Is there a Christian?

Are you a Christian?

He is now.

You are?

I try to.

You believe in Jesus?

Yeah, I believe in Jesus.

Do you go to church out on Sundays?

No.

No?

I used to.

Oh, I used to.

Let's go to plentyoffish.com.

Sign him up for Plenty of Fish.

Plenty of Fish?

No, let's go to fucking Tinder.

No, you said religious.

Let's do a religious site.

But Plenty of Fish is not fucking religious.

Isn't the fish a reference to fish, God, and Jesus? No, no, no, no. What's a Jesus one? Love life.
What is this? Let's go to Tinder. Old school.
Okay. Create a Tinder profile.
Oh, what about black people meet? You like black girls? Is that the only one you want to date? He likes all girls, but let's do black people meet. Black people meet? Whatever.
Do you have to be black to be on that site? That's racist. No meet whatever whatever do you have to be black to be on that side that's racist no google do you have to be black why would i need you to help me find a black woman this is fucking preposterous this is like let me tell you something what is this fucking this is this is white and asian explaining at its best yeah okay let it black people do you have to be black to be? You don't, anyone can join regardless of their ethnicity.
It's people that want to meet black people. Right.
Right. All right, so let's get you on there.
What would y'all think? Sign him up. No, I want, I want Tinder because I want him to have white, gay dates and black, different colors.
Gay dates? Gay dates, bro? Different dates. No, we don't, no, no, we don't do gay dates, bro not that's not me y'all should know that I'm sorry when you go on a gay date you don't have to fuck them at the end that's right right but we can still go on the date asshole no we don't go on gay dates dude listen to me right now I don't like your fucking there There's no tone.
There's no goddamn tone, though. Doc? Fucking asshole.
Go ahead. If you go on a gay date...
Spit out your goddamn venom. If you go on a gay date, that doesn't necessarily mean that you're gay.
Correct. And it doesn't necessarily mean that we have to go...
You're going to go fuck the guy after the date. That's right.
We're just going to have dinner. You're going to go on a fucking gay date, man.
Let's give reasons over why it's a good thing. Okay.
He might pay. Okay.
That's a good... Okay.
It's going to be a nice place. Gay guys don't go to fucking shanty shacks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not going to Applebee's, okay? You might go to a Michelin restaurant.
Yeah. Oh, wow.
Yeah. Okay.
They valet? They valet for sure. They're not fine in street fucking parking.
They're valeting. Okay.
In a nice car. Right.
They open your door? Open your door. Right? They open your door, dude.
They open your door. Yeah.
I don't need my goddamn door open. Oh, goddamn.
Dude, dude, let me just say something right now, okay? What did you guys say? I know when you open the door, right, the jump from the seat to the ground. Oh, that's coming.
You feel good about yourself? Oh, yeah. A little fucking step on the left.

Yeah.

So he does a little fucking

step-by-step

with his hands, right?

Oh, that's what I'm doing.

So you don't have to hurt

your knees all the time.

He goes like this.

He goes, come on.

Come on.

Okay.

Glad y'all enjoyed it.

So we gave you four good points

over why.

And here's the fifth good point.

At the end of the night,

you can say,

you know,

I had a really good time.

I'd like to be dropped up

in my house. And that's that.
Boom, boom. That's it.
No expectations. No nothing.
Okay. Okay.
Give me the negatives over why you don't want to go on a gay date. Number one, I'm still not persuaded.
That's true. Okay.
But aside from that, give me the reasons why you would not go on a gay date. Because I'm not gay.
So why? I did nothing about that. Fucking deal.
Big deal. You don't use people like that.
Y'all two are users.

Can I ask you another question?

We've been on plenty of gay dates.

If I was an agent

at UTA or whatever

and I was gay and I wanted to sign you,

would you sign with me? Of course.

Because it's just as work.

And he goes, hey doc.

Doc,

I'm a huge fan of your comedy and I loved you. I was driving down Pico and Western on the corner there.
And I had a fucking green light. And I stopped.
Because I had to finish that joke. Anyway, I'm going to take you to dinner and see if we want to sign you.
Would you do it? Would you go to that dinner with an agent? With an agent?

Agent.

Or an agent.

No, yeah, a gay Asian agent.

So what's the difference between that?

Because you said a date.

This is not.

All right.

You're just talking about an agent.

What defines a date?

A date is a date.

But if you're talking about this.

So we'll just call it something else.

Hey, Doc, you're going to just have dinner with a random gay guy.

No, we're not. Will you? Will you? not No we're not doing that That's not Why Because I think it's like You were playing with the gay guy's Livelihood you know what I'm saying You should never set a gay guy up like that Oh That's not right Because he thinks he's going to to get a little black person ass.
Right? And at the end, you're like, later, right? And so I see what you're thinking. I still think you should do it.
Here's the thing. I got three gay uncles and a gay cousin, right? Have you ever gone to dinner with those guys? No.
Yeah, but that's that's... Yeah, that's family.
Family's family. But you're talking about...
How about we just say... Hey, hey, hey.
Here's you guys. This is you guys.
You're going to have dinner with this random gay guy. He's your cousin.
Might want to rub cocks. That's what that is.
No, we didn't say that. We're not making a fire here to rub cocks.
But that's what a date is. No, it's not.
That's what a date is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what a date is. It leads to, you know what I'm saying? Rubbing cocks.
Rubbing cocks. You think that's what gay people do in bed? Whatever they do, man.
They rub their dick out. Pull your dick out.
Yeah, I'm going to pull my dick out. Get around.
They just rub dicks. Let's just rub them together like it's a matchstick.
But you understand what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What the fuck are you talking about? That's a good time for those guys. But for me, that's...
That's not a good time for anybody. No one ever does that.
Imagine two guys just staring at each other just rubbing cocks together no hands no hands just smashing their boners against each other and then the mom walks in she goes why'd you learn that because we were listening to bad friends here's the bottom line you're going on a gay day oh here's what we do. We say he's from WME or something.
We bait and switch him. We bait and switch him.
It's going to be so easy to do with him. So we say, hey, so you're going to have dinner with this agent from WME.
Yeah. He's also your cousin.
Okay? His blood. Yeah, his blood.
So it's an agent and family. Right? He just happens to be gay.
Would you have that dinner? No. Wow.
See how crisp that was? Huge Hollywood agent. I mean, dinner just to have dinner? Yeah.
That's just an agent. All right.
I'm going to be lying. There we go.
It's a date. But if I get there and he have any googly eyes or some shit like that, I'm going to be like, Bobby, you know what googly eyes is.
Googly eyes is that I want you. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you know, honestly.
Explain your perfect date with a woman. Explain the perfect date with a woman.
Perfect date with a woman. Because this is some women out there that listen.
There's going to be some women that want Doc. Right.
So Doc, explain your perfect date with a woman. I don't know.
I just feel like a perfect date. Five attributes.
How about this? Here's the thing. This is what I think a think a great day with a woman.
It's not so much as the place or wherever. It's the chemistry that we have when we get out there.
All right. Where we find, the way we talk, the way we kick it.
And everything else is second. All right.
Like, wherever you go, it don't matter. Doc, we're going to ask you some questions.
Okay. Here we go.
Here we go. So let's ask him some questions.
Sure. Number one, this girl you're going to date with how old are you doc 47 47 right so um she's he's 50 i'm 50 so she's 35 is that okay yep she has a kid is that okay yeah she smokes is that okay she smokes two packs a day huh you don't like smokes no you guys this You don't like smokes? Nah Because it take away smokes What about weed?

Nah

Okay, so take that away

Any recreational drugs?

Nah

Liquor?

I don't really drink

Not if she's like one of them

You know what I mean?

You're not going to dig Charles Bukowski

I mean, I'm just not

Someone that just has it on the weekend

Yeah, yeah, liquor's fine

Hunter S. Thompson

Yeah, yeah

Liquor's fine

Okay, so no drugs, no alcohol

No drugs, no alcohol

But liquor's fine No smoking, right? Tattoos is cool. Dogs ain't too many.
What's too many? Yeah. Too many, you know, when they have it all on their fucking- On their face? Yeah.
Right, right. Have you ever dated someone with tattoos? Yeah, she had tattoos.
On her face? Nah, on her back right here. She had one right here.
Okay. Okay, what if she had one tattoo but it was of Mark Furman?

Just one tattoo,

a big one on her back with Mark Furman,

just full.

Mark Furman?

Yeah, yeah.

Mark Furman.

This guy right here.

Yeah, I know who Mark Furman is.

You know who Mark Furman is, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Why not?

Yeah, yeah.

Say him.

Okay.

Is that okay?

No.

I would...

You gotta be specific. You don't see it until you get naked.
Yeah. His head is right by her bush.
Bro, that would be... Well, what if she had a tattoo of Rosa Parks? Would it be nicer? Mm-hmm.
Uh-oh. We'll change it to Rosa Parks? Right there.
Wait, wait, I don't get it. That's a valid question.
The ability's right there. Oh, well, come where? We were in the beginning.
Well, where is she at on the bus? What? Where is she at on the bus? Is she in the front? In the back. She's in the back.
She's in the back. Then you don't want that tattoo.
You don't want that. It's a bad tattoo.
Okay, so- What if you took off the hottest girl in the world shirt and she had a swastika right on her shoulder? She's the hottest girl you've ever been with. Yeah.
You going for it? In the swastika? Big swastika right on her shoulder. Nah.
You don't care? Nah. I'm talking about, nah, I don't have to go.
What is it depends if she said you know what nobody hear this I used to hate your kind but I changed you know what I'm saying they know it would be like your kind what if she was like fuck the racism out of me doc nah cause she might she might slip up and say the word in the bed and then she'd be out in the streets what do you care yeah you got it you're round do You're round-dogging a fucking Archie. What do you care? No, it's going to be protection.
Jesus Christ. Sit back in the bed.
Running in the streets like that. You can't keep throwing our words.
Okay, let's go here. What's your ideal woman? Yeah.
Give us your ideal woman then. Because Doc, this is Doc's ideal woman and the girls out there, the Bad Friends fans that are out there that are, what's your age limit? I would say- 30?

30.

30's the youngest.

30's the youngest. That's really pushing.

And the oldest, what's the oldest?

The oldest is about-

60.

Hell no.

Okay.

You don't like 60?

What's wrong with 60?

Nah, nah.

55.

Well, I'll tell you why.

Because I still kind of, in my mind, I still want to have children, so I'm looking at in

between 43 and 30.

So 30 and 43.

Okay, done.

Odd number, but okay.

We should write this down. 30, 43, right? White or black, do you have any preference they're writing it down okay okay I get what's your preference black latino so it goes in order black latino latinx latinx latinx three is white or asian so it goes black there's not really no order it's just no there's an order there's an order everyone has an order right okay So he goes black, Latin.
There's not really no order. It's just what it is.
No, there's an order. There's an order.
Everyone has an order, right? Okay. So it goes black, Latin, Asian, then white.
So white's last. No, it's not last.
What's last? What's last? I don't know, because I don't have a last. I don't understand.
Like, I'm a fucking order. Yeah, I get it.
I get it. We got the four.
Height? Does height matter? She can be no more than 6'2", 6'3". She can be 6'3".
You've seen a lot of 6'3 girls running around? I mean, if she wants... What are you hanging out, a fucking volleyball practice? Is she ready? That's so fucking funny.
What's the shortest she can be? I don't... 4'9"? I don't know.
4'9", 4'8"? I don't know, 4'9", whatever. Okay.
So the gambit between 4'8 and 6'3". Pretty much any girl ever that's ever lived.
I just told you. Right, right, right.
Okay, so 6'3". Okay, this is great.
So 6-3. 4-8 and 6-3.
He said 4-8. Okay, now, these are the religions.
So you're okay if she's Christian? I'm okay with a lot of religions. Okay.
As long as she ain't satanic. Okay, so how about Scientology? Scientology is a little weird.
You can keep up. Okay, so no Scientology.
Oh, no Scientology. Not all religions.
Mormon. That's cool.
Jewish? Cool. Mennonite? No.
Well, it's the same thing, basically. Mennonite? Yeah.
That's a different style. What about Zoroastrianism? Oh, Zoroastrianism.
What the fuck is that? Come on. It's the first religion before.
It's the beginning. It's the beginning.
Zoroastrianism. Yeah, Zoroastrianism.
Is that okay? I don't even know what the fuck that is. What about.
You don't know if put it down. Put it down.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about FSM? What is that? Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Do you know that religion? He fucking with me now. That's a real thing.
All right, Flying Spaghetti Monster. I've heard of it.
Look up FSM. Let's do the list.
Let's do the list. No, I never heard of it.
Okay, so those religions are fine. Let's go further, right? Judaism.
Social economic. Let's go social economic.
Social economic status. She makes $8,000 a year.
What's the lowest they can make? Yeah. For you? I don't really have no preference with them.
Okay, so they can make no money a year and you're good. You're supporting them.
So she got to be wanting to work. She can't just be a lazy.
Because she might be in between jobs. You know how she does.
Okay, so she has

to have a job or be getting a job.

She's got to be somebody who's...

But do you have a discrimination against what job?

Ambition. What if she's in fast food?

No strippers, no prostitutes.

No strippers, no prostitutes.

We call them sex workers over here.

Let me ask you this. Remember when you ate tacos

in Mexico?

Yeah.

Do they need to have tacos in Mexico? Yeah. Okay.

Do they need to have all the limbs?

Wow.

No, I'm asking.

No, no, no.

It's a real question.

It's real.

If they're missing a leg, okay?

How many limbs can they be missing? I mean, I ain't out there looking for that.

I know, but I'm just thinking, would it be okay for a missing leg?

I guess.

Okay, okay. It's easier.
This is crazy. How many limbs can they be missing? What's your limit? One? Two limbs? This is fucking weird as fuck.
No, it's not. This is all in the profile.
This is the profile. How many limbs? Just say, I want all limbs and we can move on.
What kind of profile is that? We're making it. Yeah, all limbs? What is it? Is it all or nothing? Yeah, give me all limbs since I got all mine.
Let's do it like that. And that's what it's going to say.
Give me all limbs because I gots all mine. I gots all mine.
Okay. Give me all limbs because I gots all mine.
I ain't want to shoot back to be like. Okay, so how about now can we do this? Hair color preference? I don't like too much of that purple and all them colors.
Traditional. You want traditional natural hair.
It don't matter man whatever natural hair is purple let's go okay here's the thing okay i'll date a woman who have their hair colored this ain't no big deal what about this do you with redheads yeah have you ever hooked up with a redheaded woman never one never wait in college i had one that i was yeah so you did have one just you did have one okay so it would be weird if there's an Asian woman Who's 4'8 and has natural red hair But that's fine with you It is what it is It's Rosa Park tattoo on her back In the back of the bus I gotta be attracted to her I have the most important questions now We're talking about now Personality disorders Oh What Yeah what yeah no hey man i can't get nobody normal no no everyone has something right so she this girl this woman no bobby everybody stop stop let me ask you a question okay she has a little tourette Yeah yeah And she doesn't swear words She'll say like an animal

Cow She has a little Tourette's Cock And she doesn't swear words She'll say like an animal Cow Pig Peacock No Tourette's Put no Tourette's How about a little downs Just a little Like 10% downs Nah cause then i feel like i'm doing like a charity case

that's not you you feel me you i feel you all right no doubts no doubt you know yeah don't

be i don't like all this discrimination by the way i think you should be open to all of it what

if she's um at least i'm real what if she's um narcissistic that's kind of everybody out here

yeah narcissistic what a bipolar disorder no no no narcissists okay multiple personality disorder

Thank you. about them down syndrome coalition calling me and shit.
That's kind of everybody out here. Yeah.
Narcissistic. Narcissistic? What a bipolar disorder.
No, no, no narcissists. Okay.
Multiple personality disorder. Nah.
No bipolar. You gotta just be a normal woman.
Well, you're friends with people with disorders. Yeah.
We have disorders. What? Us? What do you have? So many things.
I have 10% downs. You got what? 10% downs.
I think it's 12. I think it's 12.5% downs.
Yeah, yeah. All right, the point is, we've acquired the list.
Oh, by the way, piercings. Yeah, yeah, that's what we're going to do.
No, I'm not into piercings. No piercings.
No piercings. Have you ever had titty piercings? Nah.
Never? Never. You've never had down there piercings either? Nah.
Bro, you don't know what you're missing, bud. I'm not.
Tongue ring? I don't see the pro. We have one last question.
That's just me. Have you ever hooked up with a girl with a tongue ring? Nope.
You're fucking missing it. We have one more category that's very important.
I don't think it's sexy. Oh, it is.
How about this? Oh, it is. I can see Santino.
Their point of view, right? It's like, even when I'm talking about disorders, that's not what I'm talking about.'m talking about like people's opinions. Uh-huh.
Right? So Trump supporter. Like she was there January 6th.
So was he. Oh, that's right.
He stormed the Capitol. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You were there. What the fuck is that? They were standing on his shoulders to get into the- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or a gay Trump supporter was- You don't care about the politics. Have it a good time? Nah.
Good. Oh, that's crazy.
That's cool. What about she just has this weird thing.
What if she was in the KKK and she got out? If she's like, I escaped. That's not me anymore.
I mean, she changed, so why would I even? Okay, but be careful because there could be a little bit of get out in there. No, we don't need to.
She need to go ahead and get the rest of that out before she.

Dog, you found out she accidentally killed her kids.

Accidentally.

Oh, they left them in the tub, didn't she?

In the tub, face down.

They drowned.

Yeah, they drowned.

But she went to court.

There was a trial.

Well, they said it was an accident.

They ruled it an accident.

They ruled it an accident.

But you heard the story and it kind of sounds weird.

If I'm feeling like that, it sounds kind of weird.

Triplets, all three kids, they died.

She was on the phone downstairs.

All right, she had two previous husbands.

I'm feeling weird about it.

I ain't going to do it.

But if I feel like, that's all right.

I'm going to go ahead and smash.

You know what I mean?

Okay, yeah.

She had two previous husbands, right? But they died in mysterious ways. Very mysterious.
Like, what is mysterious? One of them was an engineer for airplanes. Yeah.
Right? And somehow, some way, he got stuck in the bottom of the plane and it flew and dropped him from 30,000 feet. But what would they have to do with her though? Exactly.
Exactly. Yeah.
But the second husband Right. A piano fell on his head.
A piano fell on his head in New York City. What is this? Did Lauren Hardy? Anyway, they both died very missing.
They both went missing. They both went missing while she was with them but she was never a suspect she was with them of course she was when they're the partner they're always a person of interest you've never seen a fucking murder mystery show before they both disappeared on a lake lakes two times they went fishing they both disappeared on a lake but she's never tried or convicted for it Two husbands Disappeared at the lake Back to back Was she there? Yeah I just won't be going to no lakes with her The problem is She lives at Arrowhead Lake So to go see her, she'd come up to dinner.
Right. But you said on the lake.
She lives on the

lake. Yeah.
Her house is on the lake.

Oh her house is on the soul. She's very rich.

Okay so would you go to the side of the lake?

Like you don't want to get in the lake. Yeah.

But if you know that two husbands died

in a lake right and she goes

let's go on the shoreline.

The shoreline. Would you go there?

I would always

God damn this is. Would you go there? No I probably wouldn't.
You know what I would do? What you would always god damn this is would you go there no i probably wouldn't you know what i would do what you would do walk ahead of me yeah you gotta walk in front yeah yeah i like to be behind what if like that's how she killed her husband she turned around and then shot him and some shit like that and then threw him and you should bring a gun if she once she turns around you fucking tackle from behind well this is this isn't even a good day right here this is yeah yeah it was good until she tried to kill you. No, but you heard, but you heard, so two guys died, right? Husbands, right? Yeah.
But you heard from 10 people, she gives the best blowjobs on the shoreline. On earth.
Only on that shoreline. Okay.
Right, so you're walking, you're like, I don't want to die, but also I want to get the best blowjob on earth. She says to you, you know, I only kind of suck dick at the shoreline.
Yeah. I won't do it in the house, at the car like it's not for me i want to be outside by the shore she sounds like a setup i don't feel that no i'd say that sounds kind of hot it feels hot i feel i feel a little bit in your voice have you ever gotten a blowjob by the shoreline no okay well then yeah there you go that's on you it's on you bub yeah yeah but what have you ever got a blowjob yes yes yeah everywhere yes roller coasters.
Yes. Roll the coasters everywhere.
He blew me on a shoreline. Well, now easy.
Easy. That's just not easy.
And you know what? We didn't go on one of those dates before. We just did it.
Yeah, yeah. All right, so we have the profile.
We're going to set it up. Yeah, we're going to set it up.
That's amazing. Now, where else this is at? Yeah.
This is going to be on Tinder. Hilarious.
Okay. It's got to exist.
Yeah.

Andre, so we're good with all that?

Of course.

We have someone was commenting, someone that you guys really like was commenting on the

vignette versus montage thing.

Who is it that we like?

It's someone who Bobby will have a huge respect for.

Ooh.

And he commented on it and they call it a vignette.

Oh, you cocksucker.

You yourself call it a vignette.

Thank you. And he commented on it and they call it a vignette.
You cocksucker. You yourself call it a vignette.
You cocksucker. We talked about up on the Christmas episode.
Let's hear it. Oh, I can't wait.
Dude, I can't even watch that vignette. Balling.
It makes me so emotional. Balling.
Yeah. They should end the movie there.
Take it back. Yeah, that was the best part.
Go back. I can't even watch that.
What? Turn it the fuck up. What the fuck? Oh, dude.
I can't even watch that vignette. Balling.
It makes me so emotional. I can't even watch that vignette.
Oh my God, I feel so fucking good. The steroids are are kicking in Thank you for being a bad friend

Oh my god

Fuck Yeah. Woo.

Yeah.

Woo.