Chilly Chill and Mr. Hollywood

Speaker 1 What's going on here?

Speaker 1 I can read things, man. What's going on here?

Speaker 3 Um, well, what's happening is uh you're not we're not gonna put this out is Andres abandoned us. So everybody needs to go to George underscore Kimmel and follow me on Instagram

Speaker 3 because Andres, he's a he's a clout thief.

Speaker 3 Everybody knows he's a clout thief. That's my clout that he's taking.

Speaker 3 I've slaved away for six years to build up that clout.

Speaker 3 I've slaved away for over nine years,

Speaker 1 you know.

Speaker 3 And Andres just

Speaker 1 made you, bro. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I've made you, bro. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 3 I slaved away to help Mike.

Speaker 1 I know you. We helped each other, but I'm just saying.

Speaker 1 Without me, there is no you.

Speaker 3 Without me, there's 75% you have you.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 online.

Speaker 1 That's fine. 75%.
That doesn't hurt.

Speaker 1 You think

Speaker 1 Online, you.

Speaker 3 Online, you.

Speaker 3 Not anything else.

Speaker 1 That's a quarter of your immediate worth on the internet. He thinks he built.

Speaker 3 I found those fans.

Speaker 1 You're the one that told people not to follow him. Is this his defense right now? Yeah, this is his defense.
Well, what do you want to do? You want to tell the fans to not follow him still?

Speaker 1 Well, I told the fans that we want to bring his fucking followers to a thousand.

Speaker 1 How many are you at right now?

Speaker 3 I went up to like 17, 18.

Speaker 1 What is what's fancy at?

Speaker 3 He's at

Speaker 3 27 now, I think.

Speaker 3 He does not deserve any of those.

Speaker 1 He deserves 2,000 followers.

Speaker 1 He didn't even know what Instagram was. When Instagram came out, he's gonna go exponential.

Speaker 3 When Instagram came out, Andres thought it was a filter app.

Speaker 1 He didn't even know other people could see it. You're never gonna see the photos.
You're never gonna.

Speaker 3 He did not even know people could see the photos. And now he has more followers than me.

Speaker 1 I have to take a shot. How does that happen?

Speaker 1 How does that happen? When you talk, I shit.

Speaker 1 When you talk, I shit. When you talk, I shit.
I have to take a shit because when he talks, I shit.

Speaker 5 You two are bad friends.

Speaker 1 You are these two idiots.

Speaker 5 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 We're bad friends.

Speaker 1 What's that for? My Tito Cheeto tour. Shirts.
God, you just...

Speaker 1 You're just blowing up, huh?

Speaker 1 The t-shirts I'm selling on sale on the... I'm just selling my image on the road.
But you're doing projects with other people.

Speaker 1 I'm not doing projects with anybody else. I'm not doing Hollywood stuff, and you're leaving me in the dust, huh?

Speaker 1 You're going to Hawaii again. You went to New York again.
You keep going ever. You're jet setting.
I'm staying in L.A. begging for work.
Please, please. No, no, no.
Bro,

Speaker 1 you're currently on a show as a regular. The show, it's over.
But are you not a regular on a show? Yeah, but who knows if it ever comes back? I'm not a regular on no show, dog.

Speaker 1 Who knows if it ever comes back? I do two lines here. Oh, Mr.
Meister, you want me to carry the longest show? Yeah, yeah, those are the kind of parts I get. First of all,

Speaker 1 you want me to turn the light off? Is that what you do in Magnum PI? Yeah. Is that your role? It ahead of Magnum.

Speaker 1 I drive your car.

Speaker 1 Thanks a lot, Wang. Here's the key.
And sometimes I like hold onto the car and go

Speaker 1 like that. What's the name of your character on the show?

Speaker 7 Ching Chongs.

Speaker 1 Is it Ching Chongs? Plural. Oh, two? Ching Chong.
There's multiple of you. Yeah.
I'm like five Ching Chongs in one. It's like the Olson twins, they had to get two just so one of you gets tired.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the shit that I do, when I was in Hungary, I lied.

Speaker 1 When you were in Hungary shooting a massive Kevin Hart movie, Bro. Grow up.
I wasn't in the movie. I lied.

Speaker 1 I was Eli Roth's shoeshine boy. Were you?

Speaker 1 Shine him up, boy. Like, because he needs to wear between, in every setup, when he's setting up the camera, he needs new shoes.

Speaker 1 You recycle shoes, and I'm scrubbing, and he says, do the accent. I saw it in me, Urall.
Right?

Speaker 1 Roth,

Speaker 1 right? Do you really do that for Eli Roth? Yeah, man. You think I'm blowing up, dude? You're blowing up.
I got nothing going on.

Speaker 1 When when i was in new york yeah what were you doing in new york bob i'll tell you what i was doing yeah let me know streets cleanings street cleaning yeah with a machine or by yourself by myself just with your hands

Speaker 1 broke all the street cleaner street sweepers broke yeah and they go use your face

Speaker 1 really

Speaker 1 but i i go but i have do the accent but i have right you have to do an accent yeah and then i they go um I have to dust up the clean, right? Use your fucking gook face. Oh my god, they say that.

Speaker 1 Right, so I'm like,

Speaker 1 why would they ask your face? I'm like a rickshaw. Oh, you ricks up.
Some guys that are pulling me like a rickshaw. I'm like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Speaker 1 Why do they say use your face? Is it because it's

Speaker 1 that?

Speaker 1 Exactly. Because it's flat.

Speaker 1 So what I'm saying to you is that all these things that I've been doing are all lies. So you've been lying to me about all the work you've been doing.
I apologize. It's so weird it came out this way.

Speaker 1 Because it feels like it's like that. So you're doing Hollywood stuff.
I'm not doing Hollywood stuff. I'm not doing anything.

Speaker 1 But the TV show is in its last and final week. But you got another thing with another guy.
I do. I'm developing a thing with another man.
A pretty big guy. Will you ask him this too?

Speaker 1 Ask that guy

Speaker 1 if he has a problem with me. I'll text him right now.
Because, yeah, text him right now. Honestly.
Well, he's not going to text back right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Bobby thinks that you have a problem with him.

Speaker 1 Why? Do you have an issue? Because when he was a young kid,

Speaker 1 this is 15 years ago. Wait, you know him from that many years ago?

Speaker 1 i know when we started yeah he used to have these the best parties of all time how like house parties what the house parties you mean yeah yeah i'm done and what did you do it i sent it all right so people by the way always

Speaker 1 on his phone only when he asked me so um you said these and

Speaker 1 and then we like every year or two twice a year i would go to his parties and i would do i'm i'm the dancer well yeah at every party i'm the dancer yeah you know what i mean i just get into it you just have a stroke no no no but i get my shoulders into it oh Oh, you're that kind of guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? I do the noise.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? And the music goes, right? And everyone, there's always a C that plays. There's a crowd.
No, they part. Oh, for you? Yeah, like a Moses.
Oh, wow. Right? And they, Moses, Moses.

Speaker 1 Right. And they Moses, Moses.
They don't do the accent with that. They don't do that with that now.
I don't know why they wouldn't do that. Right, so they do the part.

Speaker 1 And I do the, you know, like back when they did solid gold.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Do you remember that? Yeah, of course.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Back and getting it done, doing it right. And I do that.
And I go down the fucking with the sea of people.

Speaker 1 Do it again. I turn around.
Bop, bop, and do it again.

Speaker 1 Why are you pinching your tits? What does that have to do with it? Why are you pinching? You pinch your ass when you dance? I take breasts on when I do it. Oh, you have big fake tits.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you dance because they think I'm a woman. Oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, so he used to have these parties, and then when he blew up, it was just I got nothing from him.

Speaker 1 Like he never texted you or called you again? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's just because people get busy. I know.
I do think so. Well, also, how,

Speaker 1 okay, other than me, for real, who else do you actually text? Other than me, who do you really text with? Kalila doesn't count. She doesn't count.
George doesn't count. Eric Griffin, sometimes.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Well, let's look at my text now. Yeah, let's find out who else.
Your phone's up there by your squeeze.

Speaker 1 Who else do you text in real life?

Speaker 1 All right, so

Speaker 1 let's look at my phone now. And how about this? When was the last time you sent a genuine what's going on? Like, hey, what's up, text? So this is Juliana.
Oh, that's her. Doesn't count.

Speaker 1 But I go, let's go. Doesn't count.

Speaker 1 So, my mom. Doesn't count.
Why?

Speaker 1 It's not like a friend. That's like a family or work people.
My friend Gene, my friend Janina. Who are those people? Janina was the actress I was in Hungary with.
I shined your shoes too.

Speaker 1 You shined her shoes. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. And who's Gene? Gene is

Speaker 1 a producer on Magnum PI. Okay.
Who's my friend? Oh, right.

Speaker 1 Ari Shafir. What did you say to him? He's just like, let's have lunch next time.
Never going to happen. happen.

Speaker 1 Why? Because you don't like Jewish people. You've said that before on the show.

Speaker 1 I like Jewish people when they look a certain way.

Speaker 1 If they look like Liam Neeson, I'm in. But Ari Shafir.
Yeah. You don't like him.
When they look.

Speaker 1 When they look like Ari? No, Ari looks like if you drew a cartoon of a Jewish person. Like, everything's exaggerated and long.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
No text back. I know.
Sorry. Yeah.
Sorry. I know.

Speaker 1 I told you. That's okay.
I don't care. It's okay.

Speaker 1 But so, yeah, I text people. What was the question? Oh, yeah.
So you don't text, but you never really send out a, hey, what's up? How are you? Text. You don't do that.
You never do.

Speaker 1 And you complain when I text you. Unless.

Speaker 1 Unless what? Unless it's like you're going to get something out of it. Then you don't say anything.

Speaker 1 What do you mean, get something out of it? You think I'm going to be a little bit more of a living?

Speaker 1 You said on the episode last week you were a weasel or a rat or a what? What did you say? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Paulie Shore. I like you, Bobby.
Oh, God. Yeah, yeah.
So,

Speaker 1 some friends.

Speaker 1 All right. Anyway, let's get back to the matter at hand.
Which is why we are excited to announce George has been shut down on Instagram. He's plummeting to the bottom of the Grand Bola.

Speaker 1 Look at this: 18,000 followers, boob. He was above 20.
Weren't you above 20, George? Dude, I know BuzzPa boys with more followers. 100%.
We do. What is it? What? How many were you at?

Speaker 3 I was at 21, and now it's down to 18.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 3 I'm mostly mad at Andres for being such a clout thief, but a little bit mad at Bobby. Do you think he's a clout?

Speaker 1 Bobby? Wait, wait, you're mad at me about what?

Speaker 1 I gave you a job, dog? Uh-oh.

Speaker 3 No, this is purely about Instagram, Bobby.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's nothing to do with it. You've enslaved those followers.
Yeah, but you know what? It means a lot to him, and you know it does. I know it does.

Speaker 1 Can I say something else to this? Because look, he put his baby up. Look at that stupid picture with his baby

Speaker 1 and a tiger belly shirt. Can I also tell you another thing that he does that I know for a fact?

Speaker 3 Salt Mines of Cloud. I'm in the Salt Mines of Cloud.

Speaker 1 You're done talking now, producer.

Speaker 1 This is what he does, and it's so gross. Give it.

Speaker 1 So if we have a local show, like if I'm playing the Brea Improv or Irvine, or like even if Annie Letterman's doing Brea or like whatever, if there's an event, a stand-up event,

Speaker 1 go ahead. It's so gross.
Go ahead. He asks for, does he ask for tickets for other people that you've never met before? No, it's worse.
What?

Speaker 1 He goes and hangs out in the lobby to fish for recognition. George.

Speaker 1 Ew!

Speaker 1 Despicable! Ew! Ew!

Speaker 1 Ew! George, that's yucky.

Speaker 1 Literally, I'm not kidding you. I've seen it do it.
George, you wait in the hallway to try to see if fans are going to recognize you? And they do, right? And then he, that feeling. That feeds his ego.

Speaker 1 It feeds his ego, and he's addicted to it, and he, like, does selfies and whatnot, right? George, do you do this?

Speaker 3 Well, I get stuck in the lobby when people see me?

Speaker 1 You get stuck in the lobby? You come into the back of the green room with us. You're even there.
There's no purpose. We're not filming it.
We're not recording it.

Speaker 3 George, I just wanted to go, and then, like, so many people came up to me to see me that I got stuck. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 George, you're allowed to be in the green room with us, and you know you can go to the back. He doesn't have to do that.
You go to the lobby on purpose. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what he does too?

Speaker 1 He'll like be in the showroom and fake take photos or like fake work.

Speaker 1 Oh, right. Right.
So that people look at him.

Speaker 1 Right. So he'll get on his knees and like do a shot, line up a shot.
Do you do this?

Speaker 1 And then people will go, hey, bro.

Speaker 1 There are always Hispanics at the shows. Oh, hey, well, hey, P.D., George Dick.
There he is right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And he feeds on it and he loves it. It like warms his soul.

Speaker 1 It's sad. It is.
George,

Speaker 1 what do you need in the world? You have got a beautiful wife, a wonderful baby. Why do you need this attention, attraction from the pod fans?

Speaker 3 No, I'm just envisioning what it would be like to shoot something there. So sometimes I get lost in my own thoughts.

Speaker 1 You're going to go back and you're going to shoot a sketch at the comedy club? George, can I ask you a real serious question?

Speaker 1 And let's be real for once. I know in podcasts we fuck around and this and that.
Yeah. And that's all for show.
I want to ask you a real legitimate question.

Speaker 1 And we'll edit it out if, you know what I mean? If it's too real, I know we're not. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But be honest for once in your life, and your life depends on it.

Speaker 1 Does it feel good

Speaker 1 to get recognized

Speaker 1 from people?

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. I was recognized just at the Panda Express the other day.

Speaker 3 The guy even waited outside the Panda Express to take a photo with me. You swear to God.

Speaker 1 Yes. What did the guy say to you at the Panda Express?

Speaker 3 He said he's been a fan since

Speaker 3 when Bobby was on JK News. Wow.
And he's followed

Speaker 3 all of the podcasts.

Speaker 1 But did he say he was a fan of yours?

Speaker 3 He took a photo with me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because he can't get to the real thing. It's one degree of separation.
Right. Right.
It's like when people take, you know, if you go to... So he's going to photoshop your head on George's body.

Speaker 1 Right. Look, I met

Speaker 1 Bobby Kimmel at the.

Speaker 1 Or when people go to like Buckingham Palace, they want to take a photo with the queen. But they can't.
But they can't. So they take a photo with the soldier.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? That's what you are, George. The guy with the...
You're the guard.

Speaker 1 Puffy. Yeah.
By the way, the next time you take photos, you're going to have to be our soldier guard. You cannot smile, and you cannot make any motion, just like the soldiers do.

Speaker 1 You're not allowed to smile or talk. You just stand there stoically.
Fine?

Speaker 3 But do I get to be in the photos?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you have to stand there stoically. Absolutely.
That'll be the new thing. I want to see fan photos with George stoically standing there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so this dude, you know, it's like, and it's because in reality, you know,

Speaker 1 he would never get this kind of attention.

Speaker 1 Otherwise, I'm going to say something very

Speaker 1 mean. Go for it.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 I can tell you why. I don't want to.
Let's let it out. I want to see it, but I feel like it's going to turn into a cancer.
cancer let's let it out

Speaker 1 let's let it out yeah if you let it sit it gets worse the kind of attention that he's getting would never be based on his skill set

Speaker 1 yikes did you feel that george

Speaker 1 no because it's not real yeah yeah oh he says no it's not real right so you think that if you weren't the producer of tiger belly or bad friends or any of these podcasts and stuff that you would be able to gain notoriety on your own skill set?

Speaker 3 I'd be producing something else that was also great.

Speaker 1 Ooh, interesting.

Speaker 1 And that's why I like it. That's interesting.
Can I say something, George? Confidence. I was being mean, right? Jokingly mean.

Speaker 1 But by you saying that right now, I believe you. Do you believe him? I don't.
I don't either.

Speaker 1 I don't.

Speaker 1 I don't. I was just trying to.
I don't. He's working at CVS.
CVS. I get it.
And when I say working at CVS, not one of the good jobs.

Speaker 1 I know what job he would have. He's Night Crew with the carpet cleaner.
No, even worse. Even worse.
He's this guy.

Speaker 1 You know how sometimes you go to the toothbrush section or you go to the aspirin section. Hit the button.
Not the button, but you have to have the guy open up something. Exactly, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So he's the guy with the key,

Speaker 1 and he opens up. Here's your Gorilla Game.
He's Keyboy. He's Keyboy.
Keyboy. He'll be the keyboy at CVS.
Your new name is Keyboy, by the way, Key Kid. Yeah.
Although the CVS, I have to say.

Speaker 1 George, you are very skilled and talented. We like you.
You're going to do perfectly fine in this career when we fire you in a week.

Speaker 1 We We should just fire him just to see how

Speaker 1 he lands. Yeah.
What do you think about George Roode Rude? I'll be honest, though, Rudy.

Speaker 5 I like George.

Speaker 1 But you don't like Pete or Andres?

Speaker 5 George.

Speaker 1 Okay, that sounds like a bad thing. I'm going to give you the order from number one, two, and three.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 And you can't be even. You know it's not even.

Speaker 1 So let's go third. Third place is.
Last place is. The one that you like the least.
And this is not because.

Speaker 5 No, I like him, but not as much as the...

Speaker 1 All right, so let's go. Number three.

Speaker 1 Who's three? Who's three? Peter.

Speaker 1 Peter.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 1 All right, who's two? Who's two?

Speaker 1 George.

Speaker 1 George. Be honest.
Andreas. Damn, you like George the best.
Damn. What is it, though? It's because he panders and does whatever you say and he doesn't ever create any conflict?

Speaker 5 No, I think I have known

Speaker 5 him longer.

Speaker 1 She has loyalty about how long she's known George. Yeah, but George is just a white piece of shit.
Don't you like Andres? He's a foreigner. He likes you.
He's a foreigner just like you.

Speaker 1 He's an immigrant, like you.

Speaker 5 I was going to say equal.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, you didn't.

Speaker 1 You went for George. You went for a white.
And look at him, by the way. That's like Hitler's wet dream, this blonde, blue-eyed.

Speaker 1 I mean, this is the cause of all the issues in America is a guy like George. A white, privileged, upper-middle class, never picked up anything heavy in his life.

Speaker 1 This is the problem of the United States, Rudy. And you like this guy? I'm going to say something.
If Hitler was, let's say, you know, those hacky. He would have loved George.

Speaker 1 You know, those hacky scenes. He's a pretty great guy, George.

Speaker 1 I like so many things about him. He would love George.
No, you know those hacky scenes they have where, you know, it's always about a nerd in school where they're picking a baseball team? Of course.

Speaker 1 And they pick the last, the nerd. Sometimes that's the guy.
100%. I think Hitler would pick him last.
You two? Yeah. So like there's, let's say there's 100 people, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And Hitler's choosing like a kickball team? Yeah, no, how about this? He needs 100 people, right? And there's 101 people, guys, you know what I mean, on the field. Right.
He has to choose.

Speaker 1 And it'll go down to, right, George and some guy, Scoliosis, some Scoliosis guy, you mean, who can barely stand up, right? Yeah. And he spends 20 minutes on it.

Speaker 1 He's like, listen, both of you offer kind of the same thing.

Speaker 1 High level of unathletic ability that I just can't decide which of you is the worst.

Speaker 1 I guess I'll go with Scoliosis, boy. Oh, and he's like, and Scoliosis is like, thanks, Hitler.
No, no, then the Scolios guy, he dies right on the spot.

Speaker 1 Oh, and he's like, okay, yeah. No, no, Hitler's like, I guess 99 is good for me.
I don't need 100. Yeah, yeah, it's funny.
George, you know what? We love you, George.

Speaker 1 We love you to death inside and out. And you know what? Should we reverse this following? Because the fans are.
No, we got to go down. No, we got to get him down to 1,000.
We got to follow him down.

Speaker 1 So, guys, let's get George down to 1,000. Please unfollow him rapidly, rapidly, right now.

Speaker 1 In fact, you know what? If you've liked any of his photos, go ahead and unlike his photo, please.

Speaker 1 Click the heart and unlike it. I'm going to try something mean.
Turn it black. I'll try something mean.
Yeah. This is the thing.
George, George.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 we'll get you followers right now, but what are you going to do for us? Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 What do you mean, Bobby?

Speaker 1 I'm here now.

Speaker 3 Fancy is not.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're trying to say that. That's true.
And you know what? He has the ability to fire fancy behind our backs. He could.
He really could. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because he stomped in here with a little bit of confidence. George, can you show your camera down there that you're wearing a snake-skinned cowboy boots? Do you see this?

Speaker 1 He's wearing snake-skinned cowboy boots today. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Is it real snake skin? It is. You sure? Is it real snake skin, Jules? It's alligator skin, yeah.
Alligator skin. I knew all it's alligator skin.
What country made the shoe?

Speaker 1 I think they're made in Mexico.

Speaker 1 The Philippines.

Speaker 1 I think so. Are there alligators in the Philippines, Jules? Gotta be.
Yeah. What do you mean? Where? They eat people all the time.
Where?

Speaker 5 I see them in the zoo.

Speaker 1 You're going to go to college?

Speaker 1 George,

Speaker 1 get into Google. Okay.

Speaker 1 I want you to Google how many people are killed by alligators in the Philippines a year. I bet you it's going to surprise you.
Can I make a guess? Yeah, let's both guess. Two.

Speaker 1 Seven. A year.
Seven a year. Seven? Two.
Two, seven. Seven.
How many people killed by alligators a year?

Speaker 1 Does crocodiles count as well? Yes. Okay.

Speaker 1 Ten.

Speaker 1 Ten. Two, 7, and 10.
I'm telling you.

Speaker 1 Some zookeeper? No, dude. This is in the wild.
There's alligators there. Let's see.
Let's see.

Speaker 1 Crocodile attack.

Speaker 1 Look at that. Brazen Crocodile preys on a Philippine town.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that doesn't necessarily mean anyone died. Well, go.
Well, there was a.

Speaker 1 It's not even Google-able. Crocodillo.
Crocodillo desu in Philippines. There it is.
He's got it down.

Speaker 1 Well.

Speaker 1 Well.

Speaker 1 Oh, Philippine boy eaten by crocodile in the latest attack is one. I guess it doesn't happen that often.
12-year-old girl survives a crocodile attack in the Philippines. Still alive?

Speaker 3 That's two in 2019 then.

Speaker 1 Okay, two in 2019. Crocodile kills high school student in Palawan.
Is Palawan in the Philippines? Yeah. Okay, there's three.
2019? 2019? 2019.

Speaker 1 So not saying me, that's a different year, different year. No, these are all 2019.
No, they're not. Yes, George, are they all 2019?

Speaker 3 Yeah, all three of those were 2019.

Speaker 1 Look at that. Crocodile eats 10-year-old boy alive in front of his siblings.
2019. That's four so far.
Oh, shit. Go to page two.
This is good. This is good.

Speaker 1 So you're already out, but Jules and I are still in. Yeah, I'm out.
Go to page two, baby boy. Crocodile died in the Philippines.
Huge saltwater crocodile. Latest.

Speaker 1 What kills fishermen in latest attack? What year? 2019. That's four.
Five. That's five.
Yeah. Boy eaten by saltwater crocodile and latest Philippines attack.
Six.

Speaker 1 It's the same kid that you're fucking reading over. No.

Speaker 1 I mean, the article is different, but they're all the same. Guy, I think there's only two so far.
No, that's not true.

Speaker 1 they're the same kid george are you taking note of this how many people are dying by the by the hands of crocodiles i i lost count because it was so many all right let's call it seven and i won very good

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 either way get imagine getting your lip they rip you know they first of all you know what they do right yeah they they were those alligators or crocodiles that spin you they both do it so they spin you yeah and then they rip your limbs but you know

Speaker 1 when that happens give up no you spin with them oh you just like you're dancing yeah yeah like you what the problem is is you go the opposite direction. Oh, right.

Speaker 1 So, like, if there's, if he's going clock counterclockwise, then you go clockwise. No, you go, no, you don't go clockwise because you get ripped.
You go. You go with him.
Oh, you go, okay.

Speaker 1 And you go, wee! You know what I mean? And so

Speaker 1 eventually, about 20 to 30 spins. He gives up.

Speaker 3 He gives up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that makes sense. Right.
And then what I'll do is I'll attach myself and go the other way sometimes. What if he just stops at some point and he's like, I just want to have sex.

Speaker 1 And you're like, fine, just ask.

Speaker 1 Just get consent crumbling. Yeah, yo.
And then he's like, where's your pussy?

Speaker 1 I'm a guy. Oh, okay.
Fine. You're fine.
Who cares at this point? Yeah, they roll you around and they rip your limbs off. When you see at the zoo a little kid fall into the cage, love it.

Speaker 1 Love it. I root.
I root for the animal. Of course.
I root for the animal every time. Every time.
And I want the mom to jump in there too, two for one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Get in.

Speaker 1 And then when they shoot the animal,

Speaker 1 I always go, cheating!

Speaker 1 I always yell, cheating.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Wait, do the video? This is so mean. Do do raccoon in orangutan cage.
Did you see this video on the internet this week? No. Oh, wait, wait.
There's a raccoon in there.

Speaker 1 The orangutan wins. Dude, it's like seven of them.
And they, dude, it's mean, but it's hilarious. They grab by the tail and they whip it around.
I don't know what to say.

Speaker 1 I don't want to make it feel bad. It's so funny.
I would feel so bad. It's so, no, that's not the one.
It's very, it's got, it's brand new. It's random.
But he gets in there, this poor raccoon.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. And you know, like orangutans, they're strong.
So strong, dude.

Speaker 1 They grab by the tail and they're all like watching, like, oh, oh, they're all like laughing and kind of, and the guy, he swings it in the air. I swear to God, like a lasso.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he lassoes around and then throws it. It's so awful.
But the raccoon, what are you doing in the chair? And when he goes,

Speaker 1 he's really saying, hee-ha!

Speaker 1 Yeah!

Speaker 1 Orangutans, you're not going to find it, man. You're not going to find it.
I was on the YouTube. You don't know how to do it.
It's fine.

Speaker 1 How was New York? Didn't you just get back?

Speaker 1 I went to New York and I shot.

Speaker 1 I'm on Sex in the City. It's great yeah that's great and my you know what I'm playing um some not definitely not someone she has sex with

Speaker 1 just a guess it's just a guess why do you say that do you have sex with someone on the show

Speaker 1 no it's a good guess I've never had sex with anyone on the show neither have I've never been in writing in love scene no no I when I was on spling up together They tried to write a love scene for you, right?

Speaker 1 What they did, they had a seat with me and Lindsay, right, on the bed. And she said.
Right. And I got too close to her in the bed where we were just having a a conversation.

Speaker 1 And the director goes, cut, Bobby, a little bit more separation. So I go, okay.
And I went to the other side of the bed. You know, she called him to her trailer before.

Speaker 1 She's like, about this love scene with Bobby.

Speaker 1 Do you think we could. What if it's just like a buddy scene? Like we're friends.

Speaker 1 But in Sex in the City, you don't have sex with anybody, do you?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's a good guess. Yeah.
Dude, they're not going to hire someone that looks like you or looks like me or looks like me.

Speaker 1 I'm not a person or looks like me, I'm including myself to be the hot guy that comes to have sex with someone sexy.

Speaker 7 That's not who we are.

Speaker 1 We We don't get hired. We're asexual? Yeah, fine.
We're not asexual. We're sexual beings.
Well, maybe we could be gay characters.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We're definitely not going to be the guy that comes in the cameo, the hot guy cameo.
You can't compete with those guys. But you know who I love? Those guys are hot.

Speaker 1 I did a scene with, I did a commercial with Jane Lynch. Yeah.
Where we make out.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And she went for it.
Yeah, because, yeah, she has no attraction to men. She doesn't.
Oh, is that what it is? Well, she's gay. She is?

Speaker 1 Bobby. I didn't know.
So I thought she was like, oh, she's into me. No.
Oh. Good God, no.
Maybe she thought I was a woman. You do look a little feminine sometimes.
Like a butchy little dwarf.

Speaker 1 If you pulled your hair back and wore a dress, you could be a cute Korean girl. I look cute as a girl.
You do, actually. I've seen some photos.
You do. So once I play

Speaker 1 podcaster. Oh, right.
Yeah, you said that. That's right.
Oh, there you go. With Jane Lynch.
Yeah. Yeah, no attraction.
She's not into that at all. Oh, she's not? Look at this.

Speaker 1 Do list of list of list of

Speaker 1 list of sexy guys on Sex in the City, or what would that be? List of hot guys on Sex in the City. I mean, you look at the lineup that you would have to go up against.
It's insane, dude. It's insane.

Speaker 1 Just do images and let's see what comes up. Oh, there we go.
Sex in the City's 15 hottest guys. Okay.
You can't make this list, but I'm going to. You think one day you can make this list?

Speaker 1 15, probably. There's no pictures.
Go back to images, maybe. Let's go to images.

Speaker 1 I mean, look at some of these guys. Okay.
You can't compete with these bros

Speaker 1 well those are bad that's a bad sick that's a bad combat y'all look sick yeah he doesn't look he doesn't look great he looks hot cute

Speaker 1 you can't compete with these guys bud yeah this guy look at that guy i don't even know who that is yeah that's smith jarred what oh look at the fucking are you a sex in the city president of smith jarred fan club over here love sex in the city you do love sex in the city you know pete's a big fan Do you really, Pete?

Speaker 1 I really do. Oh, wow.
Which character are you?

Speaker 1 Who?

Speaker 1 Pete.

Speaker 1 You know, all the girls that watch it, they name themselves after one of the characters. Oh, they do? I'm probably an Aiden.

Speaker 1 I'm not a girl, so I'm an Aiden.

Speaker 1 Pete, the joke is everyone that watches the show identifies with one of the female characters on the show. But I'm not sure.
Just because.

Speaker 1 But I'm not. I'm not a girl.

Speaker 1 Pete. Oh.

Speaker 1 God. I see why he put him at three.
Now I see why she put you at three.

Speaker 1 I mean, the unwillingness to just go along with the fucking bitch. I'm Sarah.
All right, bring up that girls because I want to see see which is which because I'm not, I'm not smart.

Speaker 1 Oh, you think you're Sarah Jessica Parker?

Speaker 1 Or I'm Carrie Bratchaw. That's Sarah Jessica Parker, right? Yes.
So this guy thinks he went from being an ancillary character being the star of the fucking show.

Speaker 1 How delusional must you be, Pete? Pete, bring up the Sex and City girls, and we'll see who each of us are in this room. Do you know the Sex and City of the show? Yeah.
Which one are you?

Speaker 5 I don't know the names, but.

Speaker 1 There they are. There they are.
I can obviously only be the one. This is Miranda.
I'm Miranda for sure. This is Charlotte.
Charlotte. Carrie.
Carrie And Samantha. Samantha.

Speaker 1 Samantha's not on the show anymore. What happened? I don't know.
You do. It seems like you know, and you don't want to tell me.
Because your face looks like you know.

Speaker 1 Well, I.

Speaker 1 Because I told you the story of what happened between her and I. No?

Speaker 1 I never told you that story? I don't think so. What's the actress's name?

Speaker 1 Her name is.

Speaker 1 I'm just not good with this stuff. And I know her name.
Let me get it. What's her name? Pete.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Oh, you love the show? I just know the characters.
I know the names. It's at the top of my head.
Her name is.

Speaker 1 Oh, Rudy knows. What's her name?

Speaker 1 Barbara Palvin. Barbara Palvin.
Barbara Palvin. That's Barbara Palvin.
Yeah, yeah. No, what's her name? Because I have a story about her.
What is Barbara Palvin's real name?

Speaker 1 By the way, I want to tell you something. Yeah, yeah.
He's going to look it up. The other day I was wearing my bad friend's greatest rock and roll band of all time shirt.
Which person?

Speaker 1 And a dude goes, I love that shirt. I was like, oh, thanks.
And I'm thinking he's a fan of the show. I go, thanks a lot, man.
And he goes, who, wait, who, what's, wait, what band?

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, he does. He's not a fan.
And I was like, it's

Speaker 1 the Bad Friends band. And he's like, oh, sick.
We're, I thought it was another, I thought it was something else. I go, yeah.
And he's looking at it. And then he sees the names and he goes,

Speaker 1 Blythe Mulave?

Speaker 1 Who's that? And I was like, oh, it's George Trinidad. They're all the members of the band.
And he's like, Oh, that's cool.

Speaker 1 So this guy's going to be Googling Peter Blythe, Blythe Mulave, George Trinidad, Trinidad, trying to find out who the band is. But I realized, I forgot the names are at the bottom that you made up.

Speaker 1 Because at first, I'm like, he can just tell this is not a real band. Yeah, yeah.
And then he's looking deep into that.

Speaker 1 Is that a Bad Friend's shirt? It was a whiskey ginger shirt. Oh, that's a really cool shirt.
Thanks. You can have it.
Do you have a medium? Yeah, I'll take this off and give it to you.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to wear that one. Wait, what do you mean? I'm clean.
I just showered. I can't do skin to skin.
Are you out of your mind? I won't do skin to skin. I just got out of the shower.

Speaker 1 I will not do your skin to my skin. Why? Because I'm white.
No, it's. You're such a racist.
It's not that that

Speaker 1 if it was a Korean guy, would you do it? You have a dry, flaky body. And you have a shitty, gross body, too.
I'm moist.

Speaker 1 All right, go ahead, Kim Cottrell. Give me your Kim Cottrell story.
I met his. This is how I met Eric Stone Street.
I auditioned for a commercial.

Speaker 1 It was a Pepsi commercial for the Super Bowl or something.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 Michael Bay directed it.

Speaker 1 So it went down to two people.

Speaker 1 And Kim Cottrell was in the bathtub,

Speaker 1 And they were looking for one towel boy.

Speaker 1 Right? So we were downtown. I didn't know who Eric Stone Street was.
And we're sitting in the lobby. And we're just sitting next to each other.
And they put Eric in first.

Speaker 1 And he was crushing.

Speaker 1 So I go,

Speaker 1 I should just go home.

Speaker 1 You were that discouraged because you could hear the laugh. I hate when you can fucking hear the laugh.
Yeah, I could, I couldn't do it. But then I went in there.
I did okay. I did good.

Speaker 1 Then they go, all right, leave, but wait in the lobby. We're going to bring the other guy back.
They bring the other guy back. To give him another shot? Yeah.
Then they bring me back in. Ask Eric.

Speaker 1 And then they brought us both in at the same time. No.
Yeah. And they guys do it together.
See what happens. And they were laughing because him and I were just kind of.

Speaker 1 So we both got it.

Speaker 1 So I had never been really on a shoot before. So I didn't know what a mark was or anything like that.

Speaker 1 So there was this scene where Kim Control was in the bathtub and there was a mark and there was like one light shining toward the entrance when I was walking into this thing.

Speaker 1 And I had 15 towels that was stacked. So the joke is, I'm like, as a towelboy, coming in with these towels, right? And I walk in, and I hear, cut

Speaker 1 the light,

Speaker 1 the light

Speaker 1 from Michael Bay.

Speaker 1 Holy shit. And I go, what light?

Speaker 1 I don't know what that means. You're blocking the light.
I know, but I didn't know what it meant. I know.
Right? So he goes, see the light? And I go, yeah. He goes,

Speaker 1 you have to feel that light on your face, or we can't see you.

Speaker 1 So I go, okay.

Speaker 1 I close the door. I have this fucking towels too.
And I'm like, trying to go, maybe if I go like that, you know what I mean? But I just couldn't get the towel in. And, you know, right.
So I go in,

Speaker 1 stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. The light.

Speaker 1 I'm not kidding here. He's even intense on Pepsi commercials.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The light, the light, the light.
I did it probably eight times. Did you ever? Did you get it right? Never.
Never.

Speaker 1 So now happens is he's now

Speaker 1 right here.

Speaker 1 And he grabs my face. I'm not kidding you.
He goes like this. Here.

Speaker 1 Here. He turns you into the light.
Yeah. Here.

Speaker 1 Meanwhile, Kim Kutcho's freezing. In the tub.
In the tub.

Speaker 1 She's like, you're freezing, right? And the whole shoot was like that. Oh, what a miserable.
So she hates you. She hated me.
Yeah, because you're the guy that kept fucking it up. Right.

Speaker 1 And then Eric would nail everything. You're right.
He seems very professional. He knows everything.
Yeah. And he's like, he's like improvising.
He's like twirling. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 The whole crew, me,

Speaker 1 they're like, the light. Yeah, caught.

Speaker 1 Why is your back turned to the camera?

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I'm like,

Speaker 1 and I go, where's the camera? Right there. Right?

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? That's what you did, but that's what happened.

Speaker 1 So, so, this is what happens.

Speaker 1 So now me and Eric are talking, and I'm like, in complete shame. Yeah.
Right. Rightfully so.
I know. You fucked up.
I know. And then Eric's, oh, don't worry about it, buddy.
He's a nice guy, right?

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm. And Kim Catroll walks up to us.

Speaker 1 And she looks at Eric in the eyes and she goes, honestly, you're going to be a very big star. To Eric? Yeah.
Wow. And you're right next to her.
Literally next to each other.

Speaker 1 And she looks at me and she goes.

Speaker 1 And she just walked away.

Speaker 1 Fuck you. She really just kept walking? What a sweet.
Now I love this girl. Yeah.
So what is her name on the show? Kim Katrina. I don't know her real name.
Samantha. I'm a Samantha.
Yeah. That's me.

Speaker 1 And so it was my bad. 100%.

Speaker 1 I know. I was green.
I didn't know. I shouldn't even been.

Speaker 1 I shouldn't have even been there. No, you definitely should have been there.
But that's what happens. You get your lumps.
You do dumb shit. You learn.

Speaker 1 When I did my episode of The Office,

Speaker 1 they were done. Like, they were so tired of doing.
You can tell they were all kind of like...

Speaker 1 Krasinski was directing. He was very nice.
And Josh Groban, Josh Groban, Josh Groban. Love him.
Josh Groban. The singer? Josh Groban.
Josh Groban. I have a story about him.
He's in the eyes.

Speaker 1 I literally have a story about him. He's in the episode.
Oh, really? And he's kind of like improving in the boat a little bit.

Speaker 1 And I say to John, I was like, hey, do you want me to like, you know, whatever the improv was? I don't even know. And he goes, yeah, that's fine.

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, I mean, do you, and he goes, hey, man, whatever you want to do, I don't care. I was like, oh, all right.

Speaker 1 So then I'm thinking, in my mind, I'm thinking, he trusts my fucking instincts. But really, he doesn't give a shit.
He's like, hurry up, dude. We have other shit to do today.

Speaker 1 It's the 10th fucking season.

Speaker 1 We're done. We're going to go home.

Speaker 1 Wrap it up. Right.
So then I do the scene where I'm smacking Ed Helms on the hand

Speaker 1 on the boat.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 1 it was my first gig. He goes, Krasinski's like, hey, man.

Speaker 1 Similar to this. That's why I'm saying,

Speaker 1 we've all been here. He goes, hey, man, use your left hand because your right hand is going to block that lens on the other side.

Speaker 1 And I go, you got it. Not hard at all.
Yeah. What do I do? What? I use the wrong hand.
He goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 1 Dude, he goes, also,

Speaker 1 when you go to smack him, make it look like you're going to smack him. Leave him like act like you're going to hit him.
You know, like, like, he's like, you're like tapping.

Speaker 1 Like, go to hit him, you know? I go, okay. And he goes, also, other hand, right? So in my mind, I'm like, but don't hit him too hard, but I don't want to really hit Ed Hams on the hand that hard.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Again, wrong hand. Again, I'm blocking the lens.
He goes, and then he said, this is how I know. He goes, hey, bud.
Hey, bud. Hey, bud.
Same, wrong hand. Remember that?

Speaker 1 And then now I feel like a child. Hey, bud, remember that? Like a little boy.
Like a little tiny boy. Hey, buddy.

Speaker 1 That's like when you say to your kid at the playground, hey, bud, don't eat the wood chips. Leave it on the playground, right, bud? Oh, my God.
So then I go, I go, oh, I'm sorry. I've got it.

Speaker 1 Nobody on the crew at this point. You know, sound guy's like, let's go, you fucking moron.
It's your left hand. You know, I can feel him being like, left hand, dude, let's go.
It's not that hard.

Speaker 1 And then, of course, on the third take, same exact thing. And I use the wrong hand and I miss his hand and I hit the wheel.

Speaker 1 So I miss his hand compared to it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And now

Speaker 1 and Ed goes, let's go just go to the other piece. And John goes, yeah, we'll go to the other piece.
Moving on. Yeah, so I had to get it.

Speaker 1 They had to use it from the first take when I did the first time because I fucked up. And I felt like such a, like, dude, then the rest of the day,

Speaker 1 I sat on the boat. Yeah.
This is me, in between takes.

Speaker 1 Sitting on the boat. Everyone got off the boat.
Yeah, yeah. I just sat on the boat by myself in the marina.
Yeah, I I was so embarrassed. So embarrassing.

Speaker 1 Because I didn't, when you're young, you don't know any better. Yeah.
And you don't want to, you don't want to upset people. And when you've already made some mistakes, you feel dumb.

Speaker 1 You really feel dumb. And you're like, well, I'm not any good.
This is so fucking embarrassing.

Speaker 1 And then you start going, well, this is going to get back to my agents. And then they're going to be like, you fucked up and you're dumb.

Speaker 1 But then you learn as you get older, nobody fucking cares. Nobody cares.
Nobody cares. Everyone's making mistakes.
Nobody gives a shit. Nobody cares.
As long as you're nice, nobody fucking cares.

Speaker 1 But you think you're done. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 you imagine all these things. Well, that's it.

Speaker 1 But it's also what when you're doing these things, even if it's a big thing, even if you don't know your lines or you fuck up, because I've seen the biggest people

Speaker 1 not know their lines and go, what is it? And then have to read it again and then get really crazy notes. I mean, it's just the part of the process.
Totally.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I have Josh Groban story. What happened? By the way, I never even got to, I barely got to meet him.
He was in and out. So I did a breakdancing movie called Kicking It Old School.
Bring it up.

Speaker 1 Oh, I remember this. Yeah.
Was Jamie Kennedy in this? Yeah. Wait, was it his movie? Yeah.
So Jamie was in it. It was Kicking at Old School.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Jamie Kennedy. Yeah.
I don't remember. Was that Maria?

Speaker 1 Look at the poster. Yeah, it was a Jamie movie.

Speaker 1 I'm in the middle there. Look, zoom in.
Zoom in, zoom in. Zoom in.

Speaker 1 Oh, bar.

Speaker 1 Who are the other two? Right?

Speaker 1 No, is that Ralphie Mae? No. Is that Ralphie Mae and Jamie?

Speaker 1 Don't put me on on the spot i forget but um don't put me on the spot who's the girl maria manunos that's who i thought it said that's maria menunos

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 okay so there i am so chili chill so when i was in canada there he is i took like six months of dance dancing classes right

Speaker 1 and six months yeah so there the the the dance teachers they go all right everyone do it you guys were training and when i did it they were like they pulled me aside and they said listen chili chill chill.

Speaker 1 We got to get you a body double. Because your dancing was so bad.
So bad. So I go, oh, okay.
Right? So I show up on set and they couldn't find a man with my body.

Speaker 1 So if you look at the movie. It's a woman.
It's a woman. It's a Korean woman.
It's a fat Korean woman. That's amazing.
Right. So if they cut away, you know what I mean? It's a woman.
Right.

Speaker 1 Do chili, YouTube chili-chill dancing.

Speaker 1 Please.

Speaker 1 Please. We have to see this.
I want to see. I hope you're not going to be online, but.
Chili Chill. I hope so.
Chili Chill dancing. Oh, there you are, Chili.

Speaker 1 Do you dance here? I don't remember.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. Let's not.

Speaker 1 Ancient crane technique. If too right, no can defend.
Aye.

Speaker 1 By the way, they have to do that. They have to do that.
Bing, bing,

Speaker 1 so fucking racist. Guys, come on.
This is the first step on the road to becoming

Speaker 1 whatever the hell you want. White guy, Korean guy, black guy, super overweight Mexican guy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is like NBC's dream. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I want to see Chili Chill dance so bad. You got to know when you come here.
No, I don't, man. Come on, Chili.
It's red. Yeah, he's in red.
There's Chili.

Speaker 1 There he is. What do you say, Chill? I don't know, man.

Speaker 1 Chili Chill.

Speaker 1 Fuck on.

Speaker 1 The funniest thing is they assumed, because it's break break dancing, right? That of all these guys, they're like, well, the Korean guy and the black guy got this down.

Speaker 1 Because they're like, the black guys got it. And they look at the Korean guy and they're like, come on, man.
This is like,

Speaker 1 this has got to be. I don't want to watch this right now.
Let's watch it.

Speaker 1 I do want to see it. Chili Chill.
Let's go back to the thing. Let's hear your Josh Groban story, Chili Chill.
But congratulations. By the way,

Speaker 1 Chili Chill? Yeah. Very tight.
Please don't call me Chili Chill, man. What do you mean, Chili? What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 You're my Chili Chill boy. Oh, my God.
I'm blushing.

Speaker 1 Anyway. What's wrong with Chili Chill? Anyway.
All right, Chili, tell us your Josh Groban story. So Maria Manus is the movie, so she invites me to her Christmas party.
I'm not being rude.

Speaker 1 I'm looking up the box office mojo for

Speaker 1 Kicking at Old School. I want to see how much money it made.

Speaker 1 What do you think it made? I don't know. Let's take a guess.
Let's do our guess. How much money do you think Kicking at Old School made in the...

Speaker 1 And this is not a slight because Jamie Kennedy, I'm not making fun of you or you or anybody. He's a good guy.
$3 million. Huh? $3 million.
$3 million domestic worldwide? What are we talking about?

Speaker 1 Domestic. Okay, domestic, $3 million.
And international, how much?

Speaker 1 12 million. 12 million.
All right. What do you say, Rude?

Speaker 5 Domestic, 1 million.

Speaker 1 International.

Speaker 5 International, 5.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. All right.

Speaker 1 Domestic is 4.5 million, so 4 million. International is fucking going to blow your mind.
What?

Speaker 1 Ready? Yeah.

Speaker 1 $189,000.

Speaker 1 $100,000 overseas. That's like eight people went to go see it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because

Speaker 1 when my dad was still alive,

Speaker 1 he went to the 8 o'clock showing with my mom opening weekend in Arizona.

Speaker 1 My dad called me at 8 o'clock.

Speaker 1 This rings in my head when I go to bed. He goes, the nobody here.

Speaker 1 That's so mean. Yeah, I know.
And he left. There's nobody here.
They never played it. Oh, man.
They just left. They got their money refunded, and they left.
Did that hurt a little bit? Bad.

Speaker 1 Because in my head, I'm like,

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 this is so embarrassing. Come on.

Speaker 1 Because when I was shooting this movie, this is

Speaker 1 before this movie came out, I was shooting.

Speaker 1 Were you on Mad at the time? Yeah, Pineapple Express. Oh.
So when I went to Pineapple Express, they were so busy one day that they didn't really have a trailer for me, and I complained.

Speaker 1 I go, well I'm in kicking it old school oh Bob

Speaker 1 they're like listen Chili Chill Chili Chill just stay here for the day you're in Pineapple's press with like five huge names huge and you're like James Frank Iron right you're like you guys know I'm in I'm so embarrassed anyway I don't know why we took this detour but let me hear Josh Groban

Speaker 1 this whole show should be called detour I know

Speaker 1 What happened with Josh Groves? I met Marie and Winoos. I don't know anybody.
I don't know what music is. I don't know anything.
The only kind of music I like is Fugazi and punk and whatever.

Speaker 1 I love Fugazi. So I was at, I don't know who John Mayer, I know who John Mayer is.
I know John Mayer, but I'm not really familiar with the music. Sure.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So I'm at a party. No one will talk to me.
Everyone's there. And I'm sitting there at like on a bench.

Speaker 1 And there's this guy there

Speaker 1 drinking drink.

Speaker 1 He goes, hey, you're a comedian, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I am. He's like, what's that like?

Speaker 1 And I go,

Speaker 1 because at the time I was playing clubs, but like SAC Punchline.

Speaker 1 What's wrong with that? But it feels 200 seats. It's fine.
Yeah. But I was bragging.
Oh, you thought you were hot shit. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 So I was going, yeah, like last Saturday I sold out the Sacramento Punchline, 200 seats. That's pretty, that's pretty cool, though.
Right. And, but I kept bragging.
Yeah, it's like tour money.

Speaker 1 It's like, I'm pretty killing it. You know, I do like 150, 200 people a show.
You know what I mean? I have to comp half the room, but still cool.

Speaker 1 Still cool. I'm killing it.
You know what I mean? Chilly, chill. And I talked for like 20 minutes without even letting him say a word.

Speaker 1 Josh Groban.

Speaker 1 Just stepping on his toe. I go, what's your name? He goes, I'm Josh Groban.
And I go, bye.

Speaker 1 That's it. You just, that was it.
You were done. Walked away.
Because you didn't realize that. I think I got in the car and drove home.
Because you were like, I don't know who that is.

Speaker 1 I don't really care. And I knew who the name was.
You just didn't know anything about him, though. Yeah, but I knew that he was a big star at the time.
Big star.

Speaker 1 Like Husbits doing stadiums and yeah but your 200 seats are cool to you

Speaker 1 i know that's cool to you there's but there's so many like moments in my past where i wish i could take back like social moments or situations no because those make you what you are i know but it's like there's so many of them in my life yeah i've still like when i was in hunger i was at a burrito place It was a place called Chimichanka.

Speaker 1 They have burritos in the house. Yeah, I know.
It's terrible. Yeah.
And these two girls walk up to me and they go, at all.

Speaker 1 And I go, hey. And this guy in the back of me goes, not you, me.
Oh, Bob. Right.
And they walk by and I'm still, oh.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? I still have those moments. That's when you turn and engage and go, no, you say hi to me.
I'm Bobby Lee. I'm chilling.

Speaker 1 And I blush and I start sweating and I go, why did you do that?

Speaker 1 There's just so many instances in my life. Does that happen to you? Do you get embarrassed like that, Rude? Yeah.
All the time?

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Recently?

Speaker 5 Recently?

Speaker 1 No, no. Who are you texting, by the way? Diego? Oh, you're playing with tape? That's how we keep her entertained.
Yeah, she doesn't.

Speaker 1 Let me ask you.

Speaker 1 No, honestly. What the fuck? It is funny.

Speaker 5 I'm listening.

Speaker 1 But you are a fixture of the show. You can add whenever you want.

Speaker 1 Pull the mic towards your goddamn shit. You know what?

Speaker 1 Here's what we'll do to get her to get into the

Speaker 1 episode. Not episode, but like to get her, you know,

Speaker 1 to become a better podcaster is to add her own information. She doesn't know how to do that.

Speaker 1 I know, but so what we'll do is every episode, there has to be three incidences throughout the episode where she has to just bring up a topic or ask a question or something. Yeah, and be involved.

Speaker 1 Be involved.

Speaker 1 It's like anything. It could be anything.
Hey, did you guys see the Olympic or whatever it might be, right?

Speaker 1 But it's got to be something out of the blue, and it's got to be something that like

Speaker 1 a topic that you want to talk about. this is real we might have to fire you speaking of bands yeah Josh Groban and such Rudy wants to show us that she's

Speaker 1 she's she knows her knowledge about bands as well

Speaker 1 so we're gonna go through your favorite band one direction right Rudy yes all right let's hear it okay

Speaker 5 hello everyone hi

Speaker 1 I'm gonna be presenting introduce who you are yeah we don't know who the fuck you are we walk in just have have it, ladies and gentlemen. Um, to do her first TED Talk, I mean, we have from

Speaker 1 Northridge University, from the Philippines, from the Philippines, yeah, uh,

Speaker 1 Juliana Kuhn, aka Rudy. Then you come up on stage.

Speaker 1 Hello, hello.

Speaker 5 I'm gonna be presenting about One Direction, my favorite boy band.

Speaker 1 Great.

Speaker 1 I hope you're gonna do it.

Speaker 5 I'm Juliana Kun.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 I do like that.

Speaker 1 When she does that on stage, imagine a thousand people are watching. She goes, I'm Juliana Kune.
And everyone's like, oh, fuck. I would go like this.
I'd go, I love this.

Speaker 1 This energy is what is going on here. All right, let's hear it.
Okay.

Speaker 5 Okay, so the members of One Direction is Harry Stiles, Zayn Malik,

Speaker 5 Liam Payne, Niall Horan, and Louis Tomlinson.

Speaker 5 Do you want me to show which is Harry Styles?

Speaker 1 I know which one Harry Styles is. I know which one Harry Styles is.
Bottom right. Okay.

Speaker 5 Who is Zayn Malik?

Speaker 1 Bottom left.

Speaker 5 Oh, who is Liam Payne?

Speaker 1 Top.

Speaker 1 No, no, top right.

Speaker 5 Who is Niall Horan?

Speaker 1 In the top left with the blonde hair.

Speaker 5 Louis Tomlinson is in the middle.

Speaker 1 That's right.

Speaker 1 Okay, very. Do you know that to be true?

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's right. You're the Ted Talk.
Sorry. What kind of TED talk is this? Are you

Speaker 1 gonna ask her quote? She asked me. Okay, I just responded.

Speaker 1 I think you should do all this without any of this on screen. Yeah, take this off the screen.
I feel like you're really. Because you're cheating.
You're cheating, I feel like. Go ahead.

Speaker 1 But then there's no pictures of them.

Speaker 1 We'll put up a photo. How many albums have they sold?

Speaker 5 They have sold.

Speaker 1 Sold

Speaker 1 four.

Speaker 1 Four albums. Four or five, yeah.
You mean they've made four? How many have they sold?

Speaker 5 I don't know. Five.

Speaker 1 Five. So five albums.
Got it.

Speaker 1 The biggest boy band in the world.

Speaker 1 I will tell you the names. Yeah.
Of what? Of the albums? Yeah. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 5 Up all night.

Speaker 1 Up all night. All night.
One of my favorites.

Speaker 5 Four.

Speaker 1 Four. The number? Yeah, four.
Oh, okay. That's their...
Four is one of their albums? Yeah. They were lazy that day.
Yeah. Coming up.

Speaker 1 No, because it was their fourth album so i know but what do we call it i don't know it's our fourth album just say four

Speaker 5 fine yeah made in the a.m

Speaker 1 made in the in in the morning in the morning

Speaker 1 a.m is the morning you know that right i know what does it stand for

Speaker 1 i don't know okay what does it stand for

Speaker 1 anatomically motorized

Speaker 1 In the morning, the sun is anatomically motorized.

Speaker 5 Did you know that, Titobabi?

Speaker 1 Yeah, of course he did.

Speaker 1 In the evening, this is. Prematurely motorized.
It is prematurely motorized. It's been prematurely motorized.

Speaker 5 Okay, let me finish.

Speaker 1 Please, we want to know what. I know, but it's like

Speaker 1 missing out on the. No, I don't say wrap it up.
Because I don't even know if she knows anything about the band. I'm feeling like a little bit of a bad thing.
Let me finish. All right.
All right.

Speaker 5 Okay, so I'm a fan, and so you also need to be a fan of the One Direction.

Speaker 1 We are. We want to be.
Why?

Speaker 5 Because I love them.

Speaker 1 But what is it about them? Where are they from?

Speaker 5 They're from England.

Speaker 1 How do they meet? They're Britain. How do they meet?

Speaker 5 They were from X Factor, and even though they didn't win, Simon

Speaker 5 Cowell

Speaker 5 made them into a band.

Speaker 1 What are their favorite foods?

Speaker 5 Louis likes carrots.

Speaker 1 That makes sense.

Speaker 5 No, I'll give you some facts about them.

Speaker 1 Sure.

Speaker 5 Louis likes carrots. And he likes girls who eat carrots.

Speaker 5 Liam is scared of spoon. spoon.

Speaker 1 Spoons. Of the band spoon? Oh, no, spoons?

Speaker 1 Oh?

Speaker 5 Spoons.

Speaker 1 Harry, where?

Speaker 5 I don't know. Something happened to him.

Speaker 1 I gotta tell you, I get it. The shape is weird.
It's a weird shape. It's a weird.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what is that? It's just a tiny ladle. Give me a big one.

Speaker 1 I don't like little baby ladles. Give me a fucking piece of shit.
Give me a big ladle.

Speaker 1 No one's

Speaker 1 scared of a spoon.

Speaker 1 Are you serious? I picked up a series of people. That's a real phobia.

Speaker 1 Google it right now. People are scared of spoons.
I bet you my life, people are scared of spoons. No, don't finish the fucking presentation.
Phobia.

Speaker 1 Phobia of spoons. Are people scared of spoons? Let's find out.

Speaker 1 I don't know what people are doing with their spoons. I don't want to know, but Liam isn't the only one with a spoon problem.
It turns out there actually is a name for his phobia.

Speaker 1 Zoom in.

Speaker 1 It's

Speaker 1 say it out loud, Rudy.

Speaker 1 Kutelophobia. Kutalophobia.
Which Liam is well aware of, defining the extreme and often irrational fear of spoons.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 You'll find that for any eating utensil. Are people.
Fear of forks.

Speaker 1 Are people scared of forks? Are people scared of forks?

Speaker 1 No, that's no. Yeah, right there.
What is that?

Speaker 1 Amyagophobia.

Speaker 1 Is the fear of agryophobia? Silver silvery thing, silverphobia. Especially silverware.
Oh, so that's so it's a whole all the silverware. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Argryophobia? Argryophobia.

Speaker 1 Argiophobia. Like being porked by a

Speaker 1 porked by a fork.

Speaker 1 That does scare me a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I get so when someone's eating aggressively in a restaurant, I think they could just throw a fork. I'm just saying there's a fear of every

Speaker 1 fear of people are fearful of guacamole. People are fearful of like

Speaker 1 roosters. What's yours? What's your irrational fear? I don't really have one.
You don't have any irrational fears? Avocado anxiety. First world problem.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's got to be a white guy thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, I don't have any.
You don't have any irrational fears? Do you? I'm scared. I'm.

Speaker 1 I'm not.

Speaker 1 I'm scared of.

Speaker 1 I guess I just don't. Drowning scares the shit out of me.
Oh, yeah. I'm scared of being buried alive.
Right. Yeah, but that's everybody.
No.

Speaker 1 Really? Imagine being buried alive, right? You get knocked out. You wake up and you're now in a casket.
That's fun.

Speaker 1 Eight feet underground. Six, isn't it? But mine's eight.
Oh, yours two feet lower. Yeah, yeah.
And the first thing you would do is you can't see.

Speaker 1 Well, you can. How? Well, your eyes would adjust at some point, right? There's no light at all, though.
You would never adjust your eyes. Your eyes would never adjust.
There's no light.

Speaker 1 What about your cell phone in your pocket? You don't have.

Speaker 1 You wake up in a casket. Okay.
Fine. You wake up in a casket completely naked with nothing.
They don't bury you naked. Yes, they do.
Do they? Yeah. No, you have clothes on when they bury you.

Speaker 1 No, it depends on where you are, El Salvador. No, probably.
Okay, El Salvador or naked.

Speaker 1 so now you're you wake up right you're in a casket you're completely naked right

Speaker 1 there's no light so what you what would the be the first thing is like where am i so you would use the other senses which is your hands first you would feel and you would feel the wooden box

Speaker 1 you go holy shit i think i'm in a casket i'm in a casket right

Speaker 1 and then is it a nice one

Speaker 1 No, it's not even, it's one of those makeshift ones. Oh, it's not padded.
It's not padded. It's just wood.
It's like bad wood. What's bad wood? You get splinters.
Ow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where am I?

Speaker 1 Cow, ow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fuck, that would hurt. And then the oxygen is slowly running out in that little thing.

Speaker 1 And then you would probably go,

Speaker 1 hello?

Speaker 1 Quietly. Hello.
I think you would. Hello.
Hello.

Speaker 1 And then you'd go, anybody?

Speaker 1 But I bet you because of all the dirt, it's so muffled.

Speaker 1 Only you can hear it. That you realize, like, oh shit, I'm buried alive.
I'm buried alive. What do you do then?

Speaker 1 You try to claw out. Well, then you're gonna let the dirt in.
It doesn't matter. I mean, you would have to figure something out.
You would do what Uma Thurman did. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Uma Thurman did fucking kill Bill. TAAA! You know what I mean? And do karate, you know what I mean? Tight, tight, tight, tight, tight.
You would do something, and then you're dead.

Speaker 1 And then you're dead. Yeah.
So would you rather just, would you rather, how about this? Would you rather just die of being buried alive and being in the casket?

Speaker 1 Or would you rather try to get out and die that way?

Speaker 1 If there was a, yeah, right there. Right there.

Speaker 1 But she had a light in this. Right.
Right? So it's like, because they're not going to do a scene in pitch black.

Speaker 1 Kind of tough to shoot. Hard to shoot.
But wait a minute. Would you, would you, seriously, Rudy, would you just sit there

Speaker 1 until you die? Or would you try to get out and die that way? You're going to die either way.

Speaker 5 I think I'll sleep and just wait until I die.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you guys are big sleepers. That would be easy for you to just sleep on that.
Yeah, I think I would do a go like, all right, you don't panic. You're going to die anyway, right?

Speaker 1 And just stay still. Because who knows, maybe in eight hours.
Someone might get me. Someone might get me.
You could last more than eight hours. Oh, you think the air is just going to run out?

Speaker 1 I think the air will run out. See, I'd rather just say, I wouldn't want to break the box and let the dirt in.

Speaker 1 I'd rather just let the air run out because you probably just, when you run out of action, you probably just get dizzy and go to bed. Okay, would you rather have that or this?

Speaker 1 This is what my dad said.

Speaker 1 They did, the Japanese did to the Koreans during their occupation. Yeah.
So what they would, they would go to a village, and I guess they had these gigantic pots of boiling water.

Speaker 1 How are they carrying around boiling pots of water? They just would, they would get a big pot of boiling water. Okay.
I don't know how. Maybe that people just had them around in a village.

Speaker 1 Just boiling pots of water all over the place. Right.
Got it. I'm just trying to understand the logistics of it.
Yeah, but also it's like you're not from another culture. You don't know.

Speaker 1 Are there a lot of gigantic boiling pots of water in the Philippines just hanging around? No, I don't. Okay, so in Korea, there are.
Fine, fine. Fine.
So let's just suppose in your little pea brain,

Speaker 1 right? Your little pea brain, there was a big pot of water. I feel like your dad is making this up.

Speaker 1 Okay, you know what? My dad's dad, and that's rude. When did he die? A couple years ago.
You know he did. We did a song.
Seriously? Daddy, while you die, you remember this. That was for your dad.

Speaker 1 Yes, it wasn't for anything else. My dad.
Oh, okay. So anyway,

Speaker 1 a pot of boiling water, and he goes, they used to.

Speaker 1 Bobby didn't make it up.

Speaker 1 Now you're realizing it's a way

Speaker 1 as my dad, it seems like he's saying it.

Speaker 1 Bobby, let me tell you a bedtime story. Right.
Like six. Okay, dad.
You know what I mean? Back in the day when the Japanese, so they used to boiling water.

Speaker 1 They used to tie Koreans

Speaker 1 by their, what do you call here? Feet. Ankles.
Ankle. Right.
Right. How does he say ankle? Uncle.
Uncle. Right.

Speaker 1 And they go upside down. They hang outside from a tree.
So they would hang Koreans upside down. No way.
From a tree. And dip them in the boiling water.

Speaker 1 And they would dip the fucking body in the boiling water. And every time the body would come out, it would be losing a layer of skin.
Oh, my God. Right.

Speaker 1 And they would dip it 10 times until they're dead. Really? But apparently it was like the most painful thing.
Did he see this? No.

Speaker 1 Will you Google dip in Koreans?

Speaker 1 There is no dipping Koreans. What do you mean?

Speaker 1 Dipping Koreans in boiling water. All right, there you go.
Dipping Koreans. Dipping Koreans and boiling water.
The dipping Koreans sounds like a baseball team.

Speaker 1 Five to four out here, the dip in Koreans.

Speaker 1 Before you do that, let me just go back to my question. Death by boiling.
There it is. Death by boiling, bro.
That's so awful. See, death by boiling.
Boiling liquid.

Speaker 1 Is there a reference to it during the occupation? Historical practice. In Europe, no, Asia for sure.
Yeah. Look at that.
Look at the size of that big pot.

Speaker 1 Fucking told you.

Speaker 1 I fucking told you! Yeah, but they wouldn't go town to town. They brought you to the pot.
They had to bring you to the pot. Yeah, look at that pot.

Speaker 1 Bandit Ishigawa Goiman was boiled to death for the attempted assassination of warlord Toyota Hideyoshi. Anyway, so I'll give you three options.
So,

Speaker 1 buried alive,

Speaker 1 dipped by boiling water,

Speaker 1 right?

Speaker 1 Or... Or...

Speaker 1 Do you see Game of Thrones where they... I think it was Game of Thrones where they put the bucket on the stomach.
No. So they put a bucket, right, tied to somebody's stomach,

Speaker 1 but in the bucket is like eight rats. Oh, and they're going to chew.
So they burn this end so that the rats would burrow through the human body to escape. What do you say, Rudy?

Speaker 1 So you have those three options to die in each one. So buried alive, boiling, or death by rat chewing through your abdomen.
Buried alive. Buried alive, what do you say? Rat.

Speaker 1 Rat, you want to feel it, huh? I don't want to feel it. You're going to feel it.
The claustrophobia, is that how you say say it? Claustrophobia.

Speaker 1 Claustrophobia of the fucking buried alive, I wouldn't be able to do it psychologically. You're okay.

Speaker 1 It's a slow death. But now you feel the rats eating away at your body.
That's slow too. But I always feel like somehow I could survive it.

Speaker 1 You might because if they bury around, like if they avoid the organs, they were smart rats, right?

Speaker 1 That's the heart. Go around it, right? Right.
That's the liver. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 They just went through non- So they just then they make a home inside of you or they or they just bury burrow right through you to your butthole Not to my butthole, but through my back.

Speaker 1 They go around the spine. They don't fuck with any of the vital organs.
They hit nothing. No, they hit nothing.
They're smart rats. Okay.
Right? And they're, come on, guys.

Speaker 1 And also, he's not going to die either. So we did two good things.
So they're both alive. Well, I guess that's the right way to do it.
Right. And then I would probably

Speaker 1 hold both with my back like this, like this.

Speaker 1 and tell my torture. That was a good one.
Oh, you would say that's a good one. Yeah, but now he's going to go, now get in the casket.
So now I got to be in the bottom.

Speaker 1 Now you're going to bury it alive.

Speaker 1 And we're going to dip the casket in boiling water.

Speaker 1 Yeah. By the way.
Yeah. Which one would you do? I think I would do the casket for sure because I think you run out of oxygen.

Speaker 1 Otherwise, the boiling.

Speaker 1 I couldn't do boiling. It would suck, but the only way.

Speaker 1 But every time you come up, because they dip you and then they bring you up. Yeah.
It would only be fun if you could, not fun, but

Speaker 1 every time you came up, you made a joke. All right, so, right.
Right, if I tell you, if they dip, I pull you up, dip you down, and I go, it's not that warm, it's not that hot at all.

Speaker 1 And then dip you back down, yeah, yeah, you go, well, let me take another look. I think it's down there somewhere,

Speaker 1 you know what I mean? All right, are there supposed to be apples in here or what? I thought I'm Bobby Crab.

Speaker 1 If you do a hacky throw,

Speaker 1 then it's then at least, at least the guy lowering you is just like,

Speaker 1 it's the best spot I've ever been to, right? Right. Well, oh, this is a this is kind of a weird spot.
What do you think? And then they dip you back in. Yeah, the rope guy might go, it's pretty funny.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they might let you like it. I know, but then, but imagine this, though.
Every time you get popped up, a layer of something is gone. Yeah, now you're a scout like that, right?

Speaker 1 What a weird spot.

Speaker 1 Your jaws fall. This is terrible.
It's terrible. Terrible.
It's so terrible. We're even talking about this.

Speaker 1 How did we get here again? We're talking about it in present day.

Speaker 1 How did we get to this, though? George. That back to George.
Something like that. Unfollow him.
It's unfollow George. Unfollow him.

Speaker 1 No, no, hey. Hey, hey, hey.
No, hey.

Speaker 1 You must unfollow him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so by the way.

Speaker 1 But my dad was right, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a real thing. Okay, good.
But your dad did make up a lot of stuff because he was kind of a crazy drunk, so who knows? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, sometimes people make up shit and it turns out to be true. You've done that before, where you guess and it's right.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? Yeah, where someone's like, what year did that happen? And you're like, I think probably the 50s. And you look it up and it was and you yourself go, hmm.
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, I didn't, I do that all the time where I'm like, I think.

Speaker 1 What year was,

Speaker 1 in what place was this invented? You go, Albuquerque, New Mexico. And they go, yeah.
Yeah, it was. Did you know that? And you're like, of course I did.
Yeah, and you have to be at PAC now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you have to go back and go through.

Speaker 1 Of course, I know. Okay, now add information.
Give us a different question.

Speaker 1 Steer the. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. We have to keep funneling her.
You know, we'll do a thing. I'll go, like, I'll raise this.

Speaker 1 Every time I raise this, you have to come up with a different thread of questioning.

Speaker 5 Any topic?

Speaker 1 78 weeks we've been doing this show. 78, dude, honestly.
78.

Speaker 1 No shit. Be in our shoes.

Speaker 1 Let's just talk about something else. Yeah.
Right. And then I will lift this.
I really want this to work because I think this is gonna help her.

Speaker 1 Like, well, because truth be told, I don't know why we have her on the show sometimes.

Speaker 1 People love her so much, and she is just sitting there not contributing, not wanting to be pay attention, not adding anything.

Speaker 1 Oh, you just hear what she says when I say we have to get in the car to come here. So bummed.
Yeah, Jules, get ready. Why? We have to do that.

Speaker 1 You don't have to, you know what? I don't do that.

Speaker 1 Why don't we just not have her on the show anymore? Do you want to take a break for a year?

Speaker 1 She does. You want to take a break? No.

Speaker 1 You like it?

Speaker 1 It's okay. No, she doesn't like it.
It's okay. What is it? How can we make this better for you, Jules? Where's Diego, by the way? Did he hit you up?

Speaker 1 Are you done with him? Yeah. Oh, boy.
Oh, boy. Did he see the episode? Yeah.

Speaker 5 A lot of people are asking him to follow.

Speaker 1 Oh, because he's private. Do we give away his Instagram?

Speaker 5 No, but I follow him.

Speaker 1 Oh, and they just look up you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Let's talk about something else.
No, it's fine. Have you bunched watching the Olympics? It's way over by now.
Yeah, but wasn't the Olympics amazing? Yeah, it was great. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 We did the Olympics last episode. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Have you

Speaker 5 have you seen

Speaker 5 Outer Banks on Netflix?

Speaker 1 No. No, what is it? What is it?

Speaker 5 It's a teen movie.

Speaker 1 Yeah, me and Bobby love teen movies. Yeah, we love what is it it about?

Speaker 5 These teens go on a quest and go find treasures and go.

Speaker 1 Look at what these kids look like these days. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Where are the ugly kids? Remember how ugly you were as a teenager? I know. I was so fucking ugly.
I was so jealous of these kids, too, growing up. I hated these kids.
Hated them. I hated them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. They had nice skin, good teeth.
Yeah. I had pockmark, pimple face, bulging teeth, big, huge.
Fucking, my grandfather used to say, because my hair is so orange and my ears were so so big.

Speaker 1 He's like, You look like a taxi coming down the street with the doors open. Yeah, my fucking family.
So you, so yeah,

Speaker 1 you look like a taxi coming down the street with its doors open. Yeah, yeah.
And I was so skinny and I had fucking big feet. I have 12 and a half now.

Speaker 1 When I was like in high school, I had 10 and a half or 11s. My grandfather goes, Jesus Christ, look at those fucking things.
And I go, oh, yeah, I got big feet.

Speaker 1 He goes, you can water ski just without, you water ski without skis. And I was like, yeah, yeah.
What?

Speaker 1 My dad once said, you know, I walked into the room, right, his bedroom, he goes, you look like you did a 100-yard dash in a 90-yard gym.

Speaker 1 So good.

Speaker 1 That is so good. So good.

Speaker 1 My dad's face was that flat.

Speaker 1 Your dad is very funny.

Speaker 1 I'll bring him.

Speaker 1 So one time in La Jolla, you know that, do you ever see what's that one with Fred Savage?

Speaker 1 Wonder Years? Wonder Years, Winnie.

Speaker 1 So I guess her grandmother. I used to have such a big crush on Cooper.
Right, lived in Cooper.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 auditioned for Mad TV with with her.

Speaker 7 Look at her.

Speaker 1 But her grandmother or something,

Speaker 1 I was walking by, I was a kid in high school, and I was walking by her grandmother's house, and my friend goes, oh, you know that girl from Wonder Years? Her grandmother lives there.

Speaker 1 And I took an, I don't know why I had an avocado, but I threw it at the house. Why would you? Because I just didn't like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 You didn't like

Speaker 1 Winnie Cooper's grandfather. I just didn't like, you know what I mean? Anyone that was doing well.
Oh, right.

Speaker 1 How old are you?

Speaker 1 16. Cool.
Yeah, yeah. There's Winnie Cooper there.

Speaker 1 Yeah. She's very pretty.
She's still pretty. She was so cute as a kid.
She's so nice. The side bob, the side ponytail.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Look at that picture of her. Is that Dancing with the Stars? That's got to be, right? Up, up,

Speaker 1 up, to the right. Yeah, that's got to be Dancing with the Stars, isn't it? Yeah, of course it is.

Speaker 1 Would you ever do that show? Huh? Dances with the Stars. I would do Dances with Wolves.
If they bring that,

Speaker 1 if they make Dances with Wolves a TV show where you actually have have to train and dance with wolves, I would do that. I would 100% do that.
Yeah, but what? Welcome back. I'm Tom Bergeron.

Speaker 1 Welcome back to Dances with Wolves.

Speaker 1 Who's going to die this week on Dances with Wolves? Yeah, yeah, yeah. People just getting mangled and shit.
D-list celebrities getting their fucking heads ripped off by wolves.

Speaker 1 That kind of show I'm into. Right.
I would never do some shit like this. Why? And I don't.
I'm not shitting on the people that have done it. Why would I do that? Why would Andrew Sanders?

Speaker 1 Because I feel like you can dance. I can dance, but why would I do what I'm doing? I think that if you trained with a real guy, and I think because of Mid-America...

Speaker 1 That's the fear is that I fall in love with my guy.

Speaker 1 No, but Mid-America would love it. Mid-America will love you

Speaker 1 regardless. Yeah, because I get this sometimes now because...
Because you're a leftist cuck.

Speaker 1 Because you're a left coast cuck?

Speaker 1 What do you get sometimes?

Speaker 1 What do you get?

Speaker 1 No, come on. Finish the statement.
What do you get? I'm just teasing you. No, I know.
It's fine.

Speaker 1 Well, I'll get recognized for things that normally, when I was doing the thing, I was like, what am I doing this for? Yeah, but America loves it.

Speaker 1 But, like, you know, you'll get like people that you normally wouldn't,

Speaker 1 you know what I mean, like you or know about you come up to you and go. Like, black people? What are you saying? No, no, no, like Midwestern people.

Speaker 1 Like, I've had old men come up to me or women and go, young man,

Speaker 1 I loved you on that magnet. Yeah.
Of course, yeah. What I'm saying is that if I didn't do that show, I wouldn't ever,

Speaker 1 these people would never know about me. Well, that's great.
I know it's great. Because a certain kind of person watches a show like that.
Same with dances. What does that mean? What kind of person?

Speaker 1 Just people with regular lives. Huh.

Speaker 1 What do you think?

Speaker 1 You think I'm getting at something? That just sounds a little pretentious. No, I'm not.
I'm not. That sounds a little pretentious.
No, they're.

Speaker 1 You mean regular. Are you going to...
You mean regular Americans? Good old-fashioned Americans?

Speaker 1 I love Midwestern American Americans. Me? I'm a Midwestern American.

Speaker 1 I'm from fucking Chicago. I couldn't be more Midwest.
No.

Speaker 1 What am I? You're Hollywood. Fuck you.

Speaker 1 I'm not Hollywood. Bro, I grew up in the suburbs with regular Christians and everything, too.
I grew with Christians, too. But I know, but at some point, right, you and I chose.

Speaker 1 Look at your fucking, if I look at your phone,

Speaker 1 Blake Griffin. Oh, there's so many fucking celebrities on your phone.

Speaker 1 Because that's for work. No, it's not.
You live, everyone listening. This piece of shit is the most Hollywood scumbag I've ever fucking seen.
Which one of us lives in the Hollywood Hills?

Speaker 1 Which one of us lives in the Hollywood Hills? I don't live in the Hollywood Hills.

Speaker 1 None of us do because I don't live in the Hollywood Hills. Okay, you live in the hills.
I live on a hill. I live in the hills.
What does that make? I live in the flats. You live in the flats.

Speaker 1 I live in the flats. But in a nice

Speaker 1 compound. In a flat.
Your house, you're not even in a house. You're on a hill.
You guys live in the hills. Who's more Hollywood? Him or me?

Speaker 5 Both of you.

Speaker 1 Jules, you're fucking fired. Lift up the fucking hat.

Speaker 5 I have a question.

Speaker 1 Thank God.

Speaker 5 Where is the Hollywood Hills?

Speaker 1 Throw that thing at her.

Speaker 1 You've never been to the Hollywood Hills? No.

Speaker 1 Have you ever seen the Hollywood sign? Yeah. Yeah.
That's where the hills are.

Speaker 1 Look at that. To the Hollywood Hills, right there.
In the mountain.

Speaker 1 You've been over Laurel Canyon, right? Yeah. That's the Hollywood Hills.
That's the Hollywood Hills. Those are what the houses look like.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And producer, mostly producers. Yeah.
Mostly people that don't actually like act or perform this shit. We're sandwiched between two producers.
Yeah, the guys that move money around the most.

Speaker 1 That's who lives in all of these. Yeah.
That's a nice house. People that are able to just know people, and that's how they make a ton of money.
Meanwhile, we break our backs, and

Speaker 1 then one day they don't want you anymore. But those guys get to keep living up there, and we don't.
The Hollywood Hills is for

Speaker 1 Uber rich.

Speaker 1 Like, that house has got to be $15, $20 million. Yeah, Sebastian money.
That's the, I mean, what was his house? They said $26 million. Is that his house? No.

Speaker 1 Sebastian Monascal's house was at least $20 million. A good family friend of mine just broke.
It's public knowledge, so I can say it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They broke the real estate record of price per square foot in Malibu. Make no mistake.
This is not me. Nobody I, this is not my money.

Speaker 1 They bought, it's not even the number. It's the price per square foot.
What? 11.8. They bought Pamela Anderson.
Look up Pamela Anderson's house. It'll show you.
It'll be top story. $11.8 million.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And it's about the size of, it's a little bit bigger.
Look at that. Look at the house.
$11.8 million for that little bungalow. Yeah.
It's only 2,600 square feet. Oh, my God.
2,600 square feet.

Speaker 1 Do you know how small that is? Yeah. Look at this.
$11.8 million.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
Divided by 2,600 square feet.

Speaker 1 That's $4.

Speaker 1 $4,500 per square foot. $4,000 per square foot.
Oh, my God. What's the average square footage in America? Google that.
Average square footage in America. It's a beautiful home.
It's beautiful.

Speaker 1 Beautiful.

Speaker 1 Average price per square foot in America.

Speaker 1 This is, look at that. They broke a record in Los Angeles real estate.
It's insane. The average is $122

Speaker 1 divided by 122.

Speaker 1 That's 37 times the national average, is what this person paid for. 37 fucking times.
That's insane. They're rich.
They got a lot of people. It's Malibu.

Speaker 1 Mel Gibson lives there?

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 I think their neighbor is

Speaker 1 Harrison Ford or something like that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Does that matter?

Speaker 1 See? Who's Hollywood? Nice. This worked.
See, you love it. I say it's ridiculous, and you go, makes sense.
It's either Harrison or when I lived on Beechwood, what that lady next door did to me.

Speaker 1 The one that ate poop? The one that yelled at me for not picking up dog poop. Right.
And then put flyers all over the town. Yeah.
I either get Harrison or that. I pick Harrison every time.

Speaker 1 There's a middle. If that makes me fucking Hollywood.
You are.

Speaker 1 No. You are Hollywood.
George, George, is Bobby Hollywood. Who's more Hollywood, George?

Speaker 1 Can't Pete interact a little more? Fine, Pete.

Speaker 1 Who's more Hollywood?

Speaker 1 Can I tell you something, Pete, real fast before you answer?

Speaker 1 You're on the chalking block.

Speaker 1 You're on the chalking glock. You're on the chalking glock.
You're on chalk. Juliana, you're on chalking glock.
I mean, everybody in the world. Who's on the chalking glock, all right?

Speaker 1 So let me tell you something. You're on the chalk chalk and Glock.
Yeah, yeah. Just know that.
All of you. George included.
You're on the Chalk and Glock as well. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey, Chuck and Glock. Why does that sound raisist? Chalk and Glock.
You know, you. Hey, that motherfucker's a Chalk and Glock.
You know him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're on the Chalk and Glock right now.

Speaker 1 That's our next podcast name. The Chalk and Glock? The Chalk and Glock.

Speaker 1 Pete, well, who's more Hollywood?

Speaker 1 Damn it.

Speaker 1 Pipe up, kid. Let's go.
Have a stance.

Speaker 1 Andrew. Whoa.

Speaker 1 Do you know why he said that? Because Because he knows. Because he knows the truth.
No. Honestly.
No, because Pete works with me.

Speaker 1 Because Pete works with me. I drive a

Speaker 1 damaged Prius. That's because

Speaker 1 you're driving fancy cars. That's Hollywood.
That's because you're lazy. I like nice cars.
I walk into your house. It's like a showroom in there.
You walk into our, it's like a fucking animal farm.

Speaker 1 Our show is

Speaker 1 my house as a showroom because we have to rent it out.

Speaker 1 We can't afford to live in it. We're there being it while we're in it.

Speaker 1 Nothing is Hollywood.

Speaker 1 yeah you hang out with hollywood folks i do not you don't hang out with anybody because you're too lazy no no one wants to hang out with me yes they do you're lazy okay no they don't tomorrow night let's go out you want to go out with a bunch of people yeah tomorrow morning i'm going to hawaii exactly so for to do what to fuck shoot a tv show shine shoes you shoot a tv show uh uh what's your name on the show what

Speaker 1 wong what is your name on the show ching chongs with plural yeah yeah yeah listen ching chongs yeah i am not there's you are definitely more

Speaker 1 than hollywood who can can we ask? Do you get your nails done? Have you ever gotten your nails done? Never.

Speaker 1 Look at how shitty my hands are. Have you ever gotten a facial?

Speaker 1 Just from this guy I know in West Hollywood. This guy might.

Speaker 1 No, I've never gotten a facial. Who can we call to ask who's more Hollywood? I'll call somebody right now.
Who?

Speaker 1 I'll call somebody right now.

Speaker 1 We have to settle the score of who's more Hollywood. You're definitely way more Hollywood than me.
You wear shirts and bands you don't even like. All right.

Speaker 1 Okay? You wear golden goose shoes, pre-dirtied up shoes. You talk hauling.

Speaker 1 Yo. Griff, you're on the podcast.
I need you to settle the score with me real fast. It's Griffin.

Speaker 1 Bobby and I are fighting about who's more Hollywood, and I say clearly it's Bobby. He says it's me, and the cowards in the office won't take a real stance.
They're afraid of losing their jobs.

Speaker 1 Pete said that Andrew was more Hollywood. And really think about your answer here, Eric.
Griff, who's more Hollywood, me or Bobby?

Speaker 9 Oh, man, this is actually tougher than I think.

Speaker 9 I mean, if I'm being honest, but Bobby is more Hollywood.

Speaker 1 Yes!

Speaker 1 Thank you, Griff. I love you to death.
I'll call you after.

Speaker 1 Yeah, please. All right.

Speaker 1 And he's our most honest friend. Literally, our most honest friend.
I don't trust it. You don't trust our most.
Let's just call. No one is more honest than Griff.

Speaker 1 Let's just randomly call the comedy store and talk to whoever the phone kid is. Whoever picks up the phone.
That's fine. All right.

Speaker 1 That's fine.

Speaker 1 You have to tell him you're on the show. I know.

Speaker 1 Hey, Bobby, what's up? Hey, what's up? You work on the phones?

Speaker 1 Yes, I am. This is Jake.
Hi, Jake. I know who you are, and I love you.

Speaker 1 You're on the podcast of Bad Friends right now?

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Okay, you may not know what that is.

Speaker 1 I have a podcast. You know what Bad Friends is?

Speaker 1 I haven't seen it, but I know what it is. It's me and Andrew Santino have a podcast.
Yeah. Okay.
So I was going to ask you a question because we're just calling random people

Speaker 1 okay okay who's more hollywood in your eyes all right me or andrew santino and be honest and there's gonna be no hard feelings

Speaker 1 i feel like it's even but andrew seems a little more like low-key hollywood

Speaker 1 and then

Speaker 1 yeah and whereas you are much more uh seemingly outspoken and out there hollywood right on he's out there hollywood you're right dude he's like ostentatious and annoying and demanding and bratty.

Speaker 1 Jake, that's your final answer? Thank you, Jake.

Speaker 1 Yes, final answer. Okay.
Thank you, Jake.

Speaker 1 Love you. Fucking piece of shit.
He's right. I got to get it one more.

Speaker 1 Keep going. Keep swinging.
This is great. Keep swinging it because everyone's going to tell you the truth and you're going to feel what it really is.
No, they're not. You're Mr.
Hollywood. I'm not.

Speaker 1 Shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 Hollywood know nothing about me. And you have to call, by the way, you have to call a source that.
Adam Egot.

Speaker 1 Great. Great.
This is perfect. Great.
The guy, for people that don't know, he's the guy that used to manage the comedy store before he became a prostitute in Austin. He's a male prostitute in Austin.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But he only does orals.
Yeah. Your call has been.
Forwarded to an automatic. Wow.
Can you believe he did that to you?

Speaker 1 He's probably doing something. He's fucking hurt.
No, what do you mean? He's probably busy. Let me see if I can get a hold of him.
Adam Egret. Let's see.
If he answers my phone call.

Speaker 1 Well, he knows where to go. Ari Shafir.
Ari Shafir. Fine.

Speaker 1 Are you FaceTiming him? He doesn't only have FaceFine audio. Huh.

Speaker 1 It's like a race.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 3 You both look so Hollywood right there.

Speaker 1 Your phone's up trying to calling famous people to see. George,

Speaker 1 you're on the talking glock.

Speaker 1 Watch it. He's not picking up.
Okay, no one's picking up. One more time.
I got to get one more. Can I tell you something? This is how unhollywood we are.

Speaker 1 None of our friends are picking up our phone calls. This is the most Hollywood proof that no one wants to pick up our phone Who is it? You'll see.

Speaker 1 Duracolle.

Speaker 1 No one's picking up. Who is it? Who else? Joe's Tom Seguro.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, he's definitely not going to pick it up.

Speaker 1 Should we call Rogan? No. Come on, let's call Joe.

Speaker 1 No, he's not going to abuse. He's not going to say anything.
Yeah, you will.

Speaker 1 Whitney Cummings. Sure.
Last one. Sure, call Whitney.
All right, last one.

Speaker 1 She's probably drinking blood or something.

Speaker 1 What do you want, Bobby?

Speaker 1 Panic.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Panic.

Speaker 1 You know how Scrooge McDuck had a vault of money? You know, she has one of those in her basement. She swims in money in the morning.

Speaker 1 Someone says, how does she stay so young and active? Swims in money in the morning. Coins.
Text me. Text me.
That's her voicemail. Text me.
We're not going to get anybody. What does this prove?

Speaker 1 That we both suck? That we're both not Hollywood. That we're both not Hollywood.

Speaker 1 Oh, there she is.

Speaker 1 Shit.

Speaker 1 Hey, Whitney. Whitney, you're on bad friends real quick.

Speaker 1 Oh, God. Okay.
I just want to ask one quick question, just real quick.

Speaker 1 We're just calling our friends.

Speaker 10 Oh, yeah. No, I do not want to do a television show with you.

Speaker 1 That's not it.

Speaker 10 No, I do not want to co-host your podcast when you're in the wild.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. A mediocre show.
Who do you think? Timeout. Hey, first of all, be nice.
Be nice to Bobby. We're giving you a boost right now.
You know what?

Speaker 10 If you're going to be nice to Bobby, how about a guest star on Dave?

Speaker 1 Haven't seen Bobby.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Can I tell you something? You want to know something? Yeah.
I can say it because the episode's already out. The first episode we were in Korea.
I literally said, what about Bobby Lee?

Speaker 1 For any character in Korea.

Speaker 4 And they go, why can't it be like a Korean spa, maybe, or like a massage envy, or like a, like,

Speaker 10 you know, like comedy, like a spa shooting, like hilarious stuff.

Speaker 1 We wanted to put him in. I asked to put him in the Korean episode and Sonny, you know Sonny.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He said they actually pitched it, but there was no role for him. So they wanted you in there, but there was nothing funny.
They were Korean armed guards.

Speaker 1 So yeah, I did try to get him in. Wit.
How many shows have you tried to get us in?

Speaker 1 How many shows have you tried to get us in, Bobby?

Speaker 1 How many shows have you tried to get us in?

Speaker 1 I think we're. Can we get to the fucking point of the fucking? We're off on a bad start.

Speaker 1 Oh, right, right, because your blackass normally has a point.

Speaker 1 We shouldn't have called her. Because she's mean.
Well, no, let's say something nice. She's nasty and mean.
No, let's say something nice. Well, okay.

Speaker 1 This is my only chance to ever be on bad friends that's exactly right but just just be honest with us okay who's more hollywood andrew santino or bobby lee

Speaker 1 andrew santino hands down no way

Speaker 1 i love you whitney you ladies i'm gonna give you a nice gift don't drink more baby blood good night good night i love you

Speaker 1 Bad source. And she's the oracle.
Bad source. She's the oracle.
Bad.

Speaker 1 She's a fucking fan. Bad.
She goes. Source.
Even the doorman at the comedy store was was like, Eva, source. She said, Andrew said, Tino, hands down.

Speaker 1 Bad source. Eric Griffin said, you.

Speaker 3 All right, so we asked everybody to submit some videos.

Speaker 1 How many do you have? Let's just see a few. So who's going to get invited to Bobby's 50th birthday party? Ooh, I'm excited.
How many do we have?

Speaker 1 We've got a lot, but we can play some now and some later. Because we have plenty of time.

Speaker 11 Hey, Bobby, Andrew.

Speaker 12 I'm just submitting an application

Speaker 12 party with Bobby on his 50th birthday.

Speaker 12 I got two shots,

Speaker 12 so I'm double vaxxed, all that good stuff. I believe in masks.

Speaker 1 I think masks save lives. Okay.

Speaker 12 I like your guys and your comedy and everything like that.

Speaker 1 I like this guy.

Speaker 12 I got a couple cats, so you know, I'm a wild guy. I'm also sober, so I won't be doing any crazy drinking or anything like that.

Speaker 1 I want Bobby's sober and

Speaker 1 I want to make more comfortable. I like

Speaker 7 doing shots or any of the Mary Jane around him or anything like that.

Speaker 1 You feel a little titties, too. Little titties.
I'm half black and half Irish.

Speaker 12 My mom's Nigerian, and my dad is Irish, so I'm technically half ginger as well. So I've got

Speaker 7 it. You know, it's a full dose of

Speaker 1 that, though.

Speaker 7 I have an N and I, two G's, an E and an R.

Speaker 1 I like them. I like them.

Speaker 1 He has put them. Do a, I don't know, a flag or check mark.
Do a check mark next to him. So you you like him? Yeah.
Logan. He doesn't seem like he's going to be intrusive.
He doesn't seem like he...

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. Here's another difference.
Here's me. Here's Andrew.
Okay. Move the player.
Here, friends.

Speaker 11 Happy birthday, Bobby, in advance. Happy 50th, you an old motherfucker.

Speaker 11 I just wanted to tell you why I should come to your party. I'm fun at parties.

Speaker 11 You know, I'm probably going to get fucked up because, you know, you can't. You know, you want to be lame when you're on 50th.

Speaker 11 which is cool.

Speaker 1 I get it.

Speaker 11 But, you know, I'll get fucked up for the both of us, you know.

Speaker 11 And, you know, it'll be a good time.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 we out. He's on the pooper.
I love the pooper, guys. You think he's cute? He's okay.
Okay. Cute.
What do you mean? Because you're going to be there.

Speaker 1 I want some.

Speaker 1 He looks like he's fucking 30. Yeah, you're right.
Sorry, my God.

Speaker 1 I mean, you can say he's cute, I guess.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Move that play bar. Physically.

Speaker 1 There we go.

Speaker 2 What's up, bad friends? My name's Kyle. I'm submitting this video to be invited to General Robert E.
Lee's big 50th birthday party.

Speaker 2 Hawaii 5-0, halfway to 100, man. Way to go.
And it's okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 There you go. All held the Slept King.

Speaker 4 Andrew.

Speaker 1 Jules.

Speaker 2 Fancy B,

Speaker 2 Pink Dick.

Speaker 2 Love to meet you all. I fucking think it's gonna be a half a blast, man.

Speaker 2 A little bit about myself.

Speaker 2 Sometimes I like to drink water while I'm peeing, and I pretend that it's going straight through me.

Speaker 1 Funny bit.

Speaker 2 My favorite central position is trial and error.

Speaker 2 That's about it, though. I'd love to meet you guys.
I think I'd be a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 I know how to party. I like this guy.
So let's give it up to you.

Speaker 2 They're all good.

Speaker 1 I can't invite everyone. What's the criteria here? I mean, it's your party.
Yeah, I'll have to go through it again. Any women, or is this all dudes? I mean, it's probably mostly dudes.

Speaker 1 Can I tell you an idea before you play the next video? Yeah. When he said he wants to meet everybody, and I'm sorry I'm eating right now, it's only because we're doing this at an off time because

Speaker 1 Bobby's Hollywood, so he's got to go.

Speaker 1 I do think, and I'm being genuine when I say this, people are going to want to come and meet people and say hi.

Speaker 1 Wouldn't it be cool

Speaker 1 if we put...

Speaker 1 George like in a cage or

Speaker 1 what if we put George upside down, suspended by by his ankles in the boiling pot like we were going to do before.

Speaker 1 And if people donate money, the more don't, and it goes to charity, the lower he goes into the pot. A real pot of boiling water.
Boiling water.

Speaker 1 So we hang George upside down. And if you donate, all the money for that is going to go to our favorite charities to support because you don't need people's money.
We want to donate.

Speaker 1 Do you want their money? Yes. Oh, okay.
Well, we'll keep it and just tell them it's for charity. Okay.
So can we do something to torture George at your your party? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're going to boil George. All right, guys, we're going to boil George.
We're just letting you know in advance. We're going to be boiling George.
George, is this all guys? Adam Egot. Go ahead, Adam.

Speaker 1 Hit the phone. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Adam. Hey, buddy.
So I'm with Andersantino. You're on bad friends real quick.

Speaker 9 Oh, fuck. Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 You just have to answer a question. I miss you.
I love you. Can you just answer a question?

Speaker 1 Can you answer a question? Sure. And you can be completely honest.
Be honest. Be honest.

Speaker 1 Between me and Andrew,

Speaker 1 who's more Hollywood?

Speaker 1 Oh, Santino, for sure.

Speaker 1 I love you, Adam. Why? I miss you.
Why? I'll see you later, okay? I love you so much. Fuck you, I love you.
Stay in Austin, you piece of shit. This is fucking real.
This is real, dude. No.
By the way,

Speaker 1 you know why he got kicked out of Hollywood? He got ran out of L.A. It's a fan.
He got ran out of L.A. because

Speaker 1 he's a kook bag, and we don't want him around. That's right.
We don't want you anymore. Hollywood, let's go here.
Shut the fuck.

Speaker 1 I'm not. It's so funny.
I'm so not Hollywood. I'm so Hollywood.
I'm more man of the people than you are by far. You play golf.
What's wrong with golf? It's Hollywood. Everybody plays fucking golf.

Speaker 1 You're all Hollywood. If you don't play golf, you're not Hollywood.
That's not true. Yes, it is.
It's gross. America plays golf.
Not every American. It's a lazy guy's sport.
No, it's not. Yes, it is.

Speaker 1 It's where you and your rich friends hobnob, right, and create these projects and stuff on the fucking chorus. I've been busting my ass.

Speaker 1 Try to get jobs for fucking 15 years.

Speaker 1 You've been sitting on your little Korean ass getting stuff handed to you for 15 years.

Speaker 1 Let's see what she says.

Speaker 6 Okay, I'll make this short and sweet.

Speaker 6 You gotta pick me. You guys live in my ear all day, every day at work.
We have to be.

Speaker 1 Like, if it's not whiskey ginger, if it's not

Speaker 6 Tiger Belly, if it's bad friends, like you guys live in my ear, okay?

Speaker 6 So it'll be your fucking privilege to celebrate the 50th birthday with you, Bobby, with Andrew, with Kalila, with Rudy, with everybody, with all the crew.

Speaker 1 So.

Speaker 1 Say no more. She's coming.
She's coming. Push pause.
She's coming. She's coming.
She has to come. I don't even give a fuck what's left.
Mark her as a absolutely. Say, what's her name? I can't read it.

Speaker 1 I think it's

Speaker 1 Juvia or Juvia? Yuvia? Yeah. She's fucking coming.
Anybody that has to deliver mail to people all day long and tirelessly deliver.

Speaker 1 She's coming. Move the bar, dude.

Speaker 13 Hey, Bobby.

Speaker 1 Hello.

Speaker 13 Hey, Kalila. Hey, Tiger Belly family.
Bad friends family.

Speaker 13 My name's Ashton. I'm a registered nurse here in San Antonio, Texas.
This is my fiancé, soon-to-be-wife, Victoria.

Speaker 13 She's a music therapist right now. And so I think the reason why we would be excited to go to your 50th birthday party, which is to be hangout.

Speaker 13 I'm sure you get this a lot, of course, that I've been a fan of you since Mad TV.

Speaker 13 I used to run home from middle of work on my lunch break just to watch episodes to see if you were in them.

Speaker 13 So you're my favorite comedian of all time.

Speaker 13 So why do you think we should go?

Speaker 8 So I definitely think we should go because he made me do that. I look forward to your podcast.

Speaker 8 That's how he de-stresses from his day. You know, he has a really stressful job.
So to be able to listen to you guys is like a big,

Speaker 1 you know, relief for him this is your birthday i want it to be as special as it's going to be for you and you know what you know what it's going to be your birthday hollywood themed

Speaker 1 thank you for being a bad friend

Speaker 1 tom

Speaker 1 so me and andrew are doing bad friends you're on on air yeah i just have one question for you is that okay

Speaker 1 just in your heart of hearts and just really be honest who do you think is more Hollywood, Andrew or Bobby Lee?

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 9 That's really tough. Like, you're both kind of like pieces of shit in a way.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 9 But it's kind of like which, who's like the more rotten piece of shit?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know who it is, Tom.
Tom. Yeah.

Speaker 9 I'm going to side with my white brother on this one.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait. Excuse me?

Speaker 9 I'm going to side with my Caucasian friend.

Speaker 1 Oh, Dominic. Love you, Tom.
Tom.

Speaker 3 Thank you, Tommy.

Speaker 1 I'm going to just listen to my words right now. Yeah, listen to his words.
You break my heart. Yeah, it's barely there.
It's barely fucking there. You break my heart.
Love you, Tommy.

Speaker 1 I love you, Tommy.

Speaker 1 All right, bye.

Speaker 1 Bye.

Speaker 1 Even 50-50. Even is the great.