Fancy B. vs George
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00:39 Bobby is working on impressions
03:49 Asian prince born to the Royal Family
07:56 Fart Bubbles
13:26 Bobby pretends to be dead at home and nobody cares
15:28 Rudy's boyfriend update
22:21 Are movie theaters going to disappear?
23:31 Lollapalooza and Jake Duby
29:43 Rudy sings Nirvana and Bobby keeps doing impressions
31:13 Bobby apologizes to China
37:00 Bobby speaks to the woke generation about his comedy
41:00 The Philippines won their first gold medal
44:32 Fancy B vs George IG battle
49:24 Andrew's raccoon poop problem and Ari Shaffir's poop prank on bobby
53:23 Rudy's PSA and the filipino language
56:12 "Don't Do" and the Korean kite
01:00:19 Bobby's 50th birthday party submissions
01:08:06 Salamat sa pagiging masamang kaibigan
More Bobby Lee
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More Andrew Santino
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Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com
More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971
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Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com
Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday
Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom
Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles
Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart
Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS
Podcast Producers: Andres Rosende & Pete Forthun
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Transcript
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Speaker 1 You two are bad friends.
Speaker 2 Who are these two idiots?
Speaker 2 You two are disgusting.
Speaker 2 We're bad friends. Speaking of money, who just got back from New York?
Speaker 2 What do you mean? You, didn't you, fancy that? Yeah, I did, yeah. New York.
Speaker 2 The city of dreams.
Speaker 2
But it's like the big peach. You fly in.
Statue of Liberty. You stay in your hotel room.
Then you get five o'clock in the the morning call time,
Speaker 2
and you go, you work 16 hours, then you fly, get back on a flight, and fly back. Buck on a fly.
Buck on a fly. Buck on a fly.
Speaker 2
I'm working on impressions. You want to hear one? Yeah, I want to hear one.
Anyway, I guess who it is. Okay, let's hear.
I'm going to close my eyes. I'm not going to look at you.
Speaker 2 There's no such thing.
Speaker 2 Not yet.
Speaker 2 Not yet.
Speaker 2 There's no such thing as political murder, political bombings, and political violence. There's There's only
Speaker 2
criminal murder, criminal bombings, and criminal violence. Gavin Newsom, current governor of California.
Gavin Newsom. No, no.
Speaker 2
Who is it? It's a woman. Caitlin Jenner.
Potential governor of California.
Speaker 2
It's political. Criminal bombings.
There's no such thing.
Speaker 2
It's a current presentation. No, dead.
Oh, he's dead? Oh, do it again. She's dead.
Do it again. There's no such thing.
Speaker 2 There's no such thing.
Speaker 2
Hold up. There's no such thing as political murder, political bombings, or political violence.
Oh, Hillary Clinton. No.
Speaker 2
That's not Hillary Clinton? Dead, I said. Hillary's alive.
She's alive? Yeah, yeah. She just looks dead.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 Yeah, she looks dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2
Margaret Thatcher. Oh, is that Margaret Thatcher? Yeah.
That's in a British accent?
Speaker 2
That's how she talks, though. No, she was British.
Yeah, but she talks like that. Let me hear it one more time.
Speaker 2
What's so funny? Yeah, guys, I don't think that's funny at all. That's me.
But you know how I know this? Huh? Because I watched four seasons in a week. Of The Crown.
The Crown, baby. Yeah, I know.
Speaker 2
I could tell that you watched The Crown. That's where that comes from.
Why? Because that's where that came from. Well, you saw that show? Yeah, I watched The Crown.
Yeah, yeah. I love The Crown.
Speaker 2 Not only do I love The Crown, I want to be The Crown. You want to be in the Crown? No,
Speaker 2
I want to be a prince. Oh, you don't mean in the show.
You mean in real life? Like, in real life, I want to be a prince and live in a royal family and the whole thing. But I would do my own things.
Speaker 2 Can you imagine if a princess kissed the frog and then he turned into you and how upset she'd be? And she'd probably kiss me to get back to the frog.
Speaker 2
Holy shit. She's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, yeah.
No, because I would love to.
Speaker 2 You could be a prince. Could he be a prince?
Speaker 2 Oh, that face. Yeah, I don't like that face.
Speaker 2 Why don't you be a prince? He couldn't be a prince?
Speaker 3 Like, right now?
Speaker 2 Yeah, right now.
Speaker 2 Right now.
Speaker 2
He's got prince hair. He definitely has prince hair.
I have prince hair. I would, like, I would probably be born the last.
Speaker 2 You were the last prince. No, no, like, if I, if my mom was the queen,
Speaker 2
I would be the last kid. So it's like, there would be five kids ahead of me.
So I would never be king. You'll never be king.
Yeah. So then I would just be like fucking around.
Speaker 2
That's a really good idea, by the way. That's a great idea for a movie.
It's the last king. I would spray paint like little symbols on like vases and stuff around the castle.
What, like swastikas?
Speaker 2
What kind of symbols? No, no, no. I would probably do like a Chinese face.
Oh, oh, oh, on the cat. Oh, right.
Speaker 2
Two line Chinese eyes and a big smile. What dynasty would you be a part of? Royal, England.
But
Speaker 2
you're what do you mean? But you're not. But that's what's great about it.
Well, because it's like
Speaker 2
going to be a mystery. Oh, right.
Someone slept around with somebody. Somebody did something.
Someone from the main.
Speaker 2
Somebody did something, and now it's like I'm in all the tabloids because they maybe in the beginning they think. Asian prince born to the royal family.
No.
Speaker 2
He's white, but he looks Asian. No, they're unmistakably Asian.
No, no, I look white. No, I look Asian, but I'm born.
Sir? Sir. You do not look white.
No, but can I just say this? Yeah.
Speaker 2
What if, like, Queen Elizabeth had me, right? And she had me at, like, 50. They would be like, she cheated.
With an Asian,
Speaker 2 right? And right before I was born, right?
Speaker 2
She's old. She tumbled down the stairs and just rolled on her belly a bunch of times.
Just listen, right? Right.
Speaker 2
And then all of a sudden, like, a butler came, didn't see the queen there, and he tripped on her. An Asian woman.
Whoa, whoa.
Speaker 2 There's there's no asian involved in anything that's my point is that you're not yeah yeah i'm just telling you why i came out and then like she and then all of a sudden i'm about to get the bore i'm i'm about to get a pop ball i'm about to get the bore i'm about to get bored just let me finish all right okay you're about to get born and they go we got to do it now let's do it outside they take the queen out there in buckingham palace we're in in a courtyard right go to the fountain right no yeah the fountain the baby comes out and like the sun is so bright
Speaker 2
you know i go ah and it made my eyes like this ah right and it just stuck like this it singes your face. Yeah, like this.
And then I'm like the one that looks Asian, but I'm really a Windsor.
Speaker 2
You're really, truly a Windsor. I'm truly 100% a Windsor.
Do you buy that? Why not?
Speaker 3 He's Asian.
Speaker 2
Yeah, you're Asian. Yeah, you're so Asian.
Look, that's what they could tell the tablets, but the truth would be the queen slept around with somebody. But we would never reveal the truth.
Speaker 2
How funny would it be, though? Yeah, yeah. If they're like, we don't really know who.
We'll never be able to know who. And that's all we're saying.
Speaker 2 And the press walks away and cut to one of the vendors selling like little british flags and it's just one asian one so little old asian man or that's kind of funny
Speaker 2 or i'm like you know how like you go to different rooms and there's different photos and i'm wandering around and i'm just you know maybe i'm 16.
Speaker 2 you know i see it and my older and my older brother my older brother charles is already you know i mean no better name no charles is a guy already no but prince charles i'm a part of the windsor family so prince charles is my older brother you're the next generation you're like the new generation oh you're saying that i'm william's baby Correct.
Speaker 2
You're William and Kate's baby. Oh, I'm William and Kate's baby.
Yes, you got to be the new generation. Right.
Yeah, so William and Kate had a baby. Right.
It looks Asian. They blamed it on the sun.
Speaker 2
And I'm walking around, right? The castle, just moping. Mad.
God, everyone calls me Asian, but I'm not. I'm a Windsor.
Right. And I go to this one room.
There's a bunch of photographs. Yeah.
Right.
Speaker 2
Yeah. And I see my mom, Kate, right? Yeah, beautiful.
Beautiful. And she's like in a pool splashing around with Ken Chung.
Speaker 2 Right? And then everything just kind of.
Speaker 2
And I'm like, the guy from the Hangovers, baby. That's your dad.
Yeah. That's your papa.
Right. And now you're on a journey to go find your dad.
Right. I don't want it to be Ken Jong.
Speaker 2 And the movie can be played by Ken Jong, but the real guy is.
Speaker 2
All right, fine. It's a pool party.
Emperor Hirohito's. Right, Emperor Hirohito's grandson.
Grandson. Right.
Right. Great, great, great, grandson.
Toshi. Toshi, and he's jacked.
Toshi Hirohito.
Speaker 2
He's drapped. Toshi Hirohito.
He's jacked out of his mind. Like, right, right.
So then, this is what happens. And you have to go go on a journey to find Toshi Yito.
Speaker 2 No, there's also, this is what happens. There's a scene in the movie
Speaker 2 where I go to the bathroom and I take off my shirt
Speaker 2
and I do a thing. What? Like, because he's jacked, right? He's so strong.
So I go, and I do a thing, and I do this.
Speaker 2 And a couple, like I'm 16, a couple of little muscles go, boop, boop, right?
Speaker 4 And I go, that's my dad.
Speaker 2 That's your dad. Because I can see little pet, like little abs.
Speaker 2 You squeeze really hard, and then abs come out. Yeah,
Speaker 2 like, pop, pop, pop, pop, right? And I'm like this, this, and I'm like, that's my dad.
Speaker 2 Just a little fart comes out as the abs are forming. Why, why? Because that's the comedy part of you.
Speaker 2 You're going to flex and be like, that's my destiny. And the scene goes,
Speaker 2
right? And the muscles go down. They go down right as you fart.
So it's just fart bubble. It's fart bubble
Speaker 2 in my skin.
Speaker 2 It's not even muscle. It's fart air.
Speaker 2
Right, right. And we cut to you on the airplane going to go see your father.
Yeah, but do I.
Speaker 2
Is there a scene where I go to Kate? No, you meet. Forget about them.
She's a princess, so
Speaker 2 I go to... She's the
Speaker 2
queen yet. Because it goes, Charles is going to be king, and then he has to die.
They're both dead. At this point, they're totally both dead.
Oh, so William is king. 100%.
Speaker 2 She's princess. She's not a queen.
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 2
I don't know how that works. It works that way.
I think, like, Queen Elizabeth's husband is Prince Philip. Right.
Okay. Wait, wait, wait.
He just died. Who gets to be king? Remember that guy?
Speaker 2 Yeah, and they drove him home. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 40 years ago, he was dead.
Speaker 2
Look at this. Left the hospital.
Feeling good.
Speaker 2
That's that one, the middle photo. The one in the car.
Where is it? Oh, well, go to the far right. Yeah, the one in the car.
Look at this one. Feeling good.
Speaker 2
Feeling good. Feeling good.
Dude, he's not dead there. He's dead there, dead there.
He's got to be dead there. Dude, his eyes are stitched open.
Speaker 2
They put in stuff to be like, hold it. Hold it.
Hold it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 Do you think he looks in the mirror? He's like, just die. You know what they gave him?
Speaker 2 They They just put smelling salts like we did under his nose.
Speaker 2
Just for the picture of him. So you can get him home.
My God, he lived forever. 99, he was.
99. 99 years old.
He was.
Speaker 2 There's another one where they try to really doctor him up there. Do you see him in the suit with the blue tie?
Speaker 2 I mean, oh, my God. It's like.
Speaker 2
Zoom in, please. Yeah.
Big that up. Yeah.
You know what they did? They photoshopped his eyes and just put it on the Emperor's eyes in Star Wars.
Speaker 2 You know what I mean? That's what it looks like.
Speaker 2
I just use Prince Philip's eyes. Apparently, if you're a part of a royal family that has hundreds of years of incestual mating, you live long.
Because
Speaker 2 they all live a long time. Yeah, but he.
Speaker 2 How come when there's ancestral mating like in the South? It's really sad.
Speaker 2 And some reason in England, it's weird. Because
Speaker 2
they don't do brother and sister. Right, they do cousins.
Yeah, they did cousins. So it's like the ones in the South, you know what I mean, just fuck their brother or their mom or whatever.
Speaker 2
Never mind. It's always brother.
I think it's brothers or sisters or it's never mom. I don't think it's ever the mom.
I don't think the mom is ever. Probably sometimes.
No, if anything, it's the dad.
Speaker 2 Yuck, I don't want to talk about that. Yeah, it's gross.
Speaker 2 Anyway, well, that's what the royal family. So this is what, so you came from.
Speaker 2 That's my grandmother.
Speaker 2 That's my great-grandfather. Great-grandfather, great,
Speaker 2 great-grandfather, right? Wait, that's my great, yeah, great-great.
Speaker 2
Not my grandfather, my great-grandfather. Your great-grandpa.
Yeah, yeah. So look at that, Rudy.
That's your-grandpa. And we have there's a scene.
Maybe we shoot this in.
Speaker 2
Oh, this is, he's already dead. But maybe in the movie, he's come back to life, no, a ghost.
Oh, and he haunts you, yeah.
Speaker 2 No, and every time I see him, he wants to say something like encouraging, but whenever I see him, because he looks like that, I just run. Yeah, you freak out,
Speaker 2 right? So, he's got all the advice, and you just can't. Yeah, I go, ah, you're not gonna fucking get the fuck out of there because that would scare the shit out of me.
Speaker 2 But so I go to Japan and I find Toshi, yeah, yeah, but guess what? What happens? Toshi doesn't want anything to do with you, so you say, Well, I'll fight you to the death.
Speaker 2
What? You'll fight him to the death. He goes, because he says, he's like, you're not my son.
And you're like, I am your son. Yeah.
Look. And you show him the muscle thing.
Right.
Speaker 2
He sees it. Yeah.
And then he's like, you're not my son. No, we're all.
He could. He turns his back on it.
He could go like this. He can go, you're not.
After I go,
Speaker 2 right?
Speaker 2 He can go, you're not my son. See?
Speaker 2
And he does it. You can do an accent when you're going to do the Japanese.
You're not my son. You're not on my son.
You're not my son. Yeah.
See? And he does it. And what if he does?
Speaker 2
A fart comes out for him. That's the connection.
I told you, Dad. I fucking told you.
They're not muscles. They're fart bubbles.
Speaker 2 Those are fart bubbles on your skin, you fucking bastard. This feels like a short story from like Roll Dahl or something
Speaker 2
out of where the sidewalk ends. Anyway, I love The Crown.
It's good, huh? It's a pretty good show. It is a good show.
Didn't like the fourth season. The Diana stuff.
It's sad.
Speaker 2 Because it's depressing as shit.
Speaker 2
Because they had her killed. It's nuts.
Dude, I've been so... She didn't have him come up.
100% she was killed. She was not killed.
Do you you know anything about Princess Diana?
Speaker 3 Yeah, I saw the documentary.
Speaker 2
Do you think that they had her killed or do you think it was a total accident? I think they have them killed. They had her killed.
Who, who, who? The family. No, they didn't.
She was a commoner.
Speaker 2
They didn't like her. Blasphemy dude.
They didn't like her, dude. They didn't.
They never liked her. Do you think that, like, Henry's why Megan Markle is going to get killed?
Speaker 2
No, it's because it's too late. Also, Megan Markle.
Also, Megan Markle is not going to become.
Speaker 2
She's not anything. Oh, right.
Because she's the youngest. Oh, she's the Princess of Sussex.
That's nothing, dude.
Speaker 2 I'm the Princess of Sussex, either way. I'm the Prince of Essex.
Speaker 2 I'm the Princess of Muffix. Of Muffix.
Speaker 2
And she's a Buffox. Yeah, yeah.
No, see,
Speaker 2 if they were going to kill anybody, they would have killed Kate, but they love Kate because
Speaker 2 she comes from high status.
Speaker 2 See what I'm saying? Well, no, they all was checked off on her.
Speaker 2 They all encouraged it. I know, but my point is,
Speaker 2 Charles
Speaker 2
cheated on, what's her name, with, you know, the girl he was with. Who was he just with? Camilla.
Yeah, with Diana.
Speaker 2
So the family hated her because they were still going back and forth in the middle of all this shit. That's why they had her killed.
Do they had her clip? They didn't have her killed.
Speaker 2
Did they have her clip, Rudy? You voice your opinion on it. She saw the documentary.
Yeah, they had the clip. They had her clippered.
They have her clipped. They have a clip? They have a clip.
Speaker 2 They had her clip. Let's roll the clip of the murder.
Speaker 2 What do they say? Clip. Can I just say what she did the other day?
Speaker 2 I always have to do a little alert.
Speaker 2 She's here less and less and less mentally. I know.
Speaker 2
But yesterday was the worst. What happened? So they came home from the beach.
What beach? Malibu.
Speaker 3 Santa Monica.
Speaker 2
Santa Monica Shakapara. Yeah.
Cool, man.
Speaker 2 So
Speaker 2 when they're going up the stairs, I go, here's my chance. So I pretend I was dead.
Speaker 2 I go, here's my chance. So I laid on the ground, right?
Speaker 2
Why would you do that? Dead. You just laid down like that.
I just lay down like I was dead. Did you put any blood out or anything? No, no, no.
But I just, I made my body as if I was
Speaker 2
in a weird way. Right.
Down the stairs? No, just up in the living room. Well, they wouldn't buy that.
So
Speaker 2
would you have a heart attack? Maybe. I get it.
Maybe you could. So I'm laying there and I can see her.
She can see me from the kitchen. Who can? Her.
Oh, right. She's putting stuff away or whatever.
Speaker 2 Right.
Speaker 2
She looks at me. She still does her thing.
Then she eventually goes, Tito Bobby.
Speaker 2 Like, no.
Speaker 2
No. Are you okay? Nothing.
Is everything going? Is everything all right? Nothing. Nothing.
Absolutely nothing. Wow.
So let me ask you something real quick. You didn't believe it at all? I didn't.
Speaker 2 What did you think he was doing? Sleeping?
Speaker 3 I saw his eyes open and close.
Speaker 2
No, you're not good at playing dead. Bro, how can you do that? You're not good at playing dead.
Andrew. Do it right now.
Dude, die right now.
Speaker 2 That's what you saw. That didn't look good.
Speaker 2 No, that's not what your face does.
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's more like it.
Like, you're sucking a little penis or something. No.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Yeah, trembling lip.
You're dead.
Speaker 2 I'll go dead for you. Ready? This is me dead.
Speaker 2
No. No? No.
That's motionless. You're falling asleep in a movie theater.
This is me falling. This is me.
Speaker 2 This is me falling asleep in a movie with her.
Speaker 2
No, you're drunk. You're drunk.
I'm drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 This is me dead.
Speaker 2 Yep, you're dead.
Speaker 2
So anyway, she didn't see my eyes. And my point is that she doesn't care.
She did see your eyes, didn't you?
Speaker 2 Why don't you care if Tito Bob passed away?
Speaker 3 I would care.
Speaker 2 Oh, wait a minute.
Speaker 2
Rudy update. Did What's His name hit you back on Instagram? Yeah.
And what did he say?
Speaker 3 He thought it was me.
Speaker 2 What?
Speaker 5 He thought it was me saying it.
Speaker 2 Oh, what Bob said? Yeah.
Speaker 2
Wait, what did you say again? What did we say? Bring it out again. Yeah, I want to see it.
Was he mad? No.
Speaker 2 Are you guys still chatting?
Speaker 2 Iningo?
Speaker 2 Have you been chatting with him? What's his name? Diego? Diego.
Speaker 2
Diego? Diego. You guys aren't chatting anymore? No.
Why not? Did he blow it?
Speaker 5 I don't know. He's just busy.
Speaker 2 He's busy?
Speaker 2
You're a famous podcast star. How is he busier than you? Bro.
What does he do?
Speaker 2
I have a feeling. Yeah.
She's going to be living at our house for the rest of her life. Yeah, forever.
I feel it. She's going to be just that girl.
Speaker 3 I'm okay with that.
Speaker 2 What are you getting angry for?
Speaker 2 Read what he said. Because you have every opportunity to meet guys, but anyway, go ahead.
Speaker 2 Reread what Bobby said that he thought you said. Okay.
Speaker 3 Okay. Did Bobby said over a thousand sons oh yeah how long
Speaker 3 yeah i like that by the way you looked hella ripped on the beach car
Speaker 2 hella beach cup yeah yeah yeah okay what did he say he said you lying you lying yeah you lying and you should have wrote back no cap
Speaker 2 i don't say that do you know what no cap means wait let's see if bobby knows oh did you know
Speaker 2 you didn't know
Speaker 2 i know you didn't know i didn't know for the proof on all right so what else what else what else no cap dog so what did he say he said you lying and then i said Tito Bobby.
Speaker 3 And T2 Andrew said that.
Speaker 2 And then what?
Speaker 3 And he said, I'm honestly kind of surprised. It sounds like something you'd say.
Speaker 2 Ooh, see, we formulated that so good.
Speaker 2 And then what'd you say after that? High five.
Speaker 3 And I said, I would never say anything like that.
Speaker 2 Ha ha.
Speaker 2 Imagine reading that.
Speaker 2
I would never say anything like that. You know how bad he felt? How many ha's? Two ha's? Ha and ha? Ha ha.
That's so lame. It's so lame.
And that was the end of this conversation?
Speaker 3 there's more but
Speaker 2 is there any discussions of like coming up to la and hanging out
Speaker 3 there is he said that if i was in san diego then we should hang out and if he's in la we should hang out no what a stupid length no he should make the effort give give the guy a break no i don't give a fuck
Speaker 2 get on the fucking train
Speaker 2 listen up diego get on the fucking pacific coastliner okay it's the train that comes up here take your ass on the train get to downtown la get in a fucking uber and get your ass over to their house You understand me?
Speaker 2
Pick her up in the Uber, go to the movies. Do people go to the movies right now? They do.
She went to a movie. You do? Quiet place too.
Speaker 2 Take her to the movies, go see a movie that's out, drop her back off, and get back on the fucking train, get the fuck down to Oceanside.
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Hydro. I got it.
You? They gave me one. I got one at the house.
I love it so very much. It's incredible.
And I'm rowing in the morning and it wakes me up and gets me juiced. Well, what is it?
Speaker 2 What is it? Hydro is your ultimate go-to for ultimate full-body workout.
Speaker 2
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Just 20 minutes, all it takes to feel the results. And this is true.
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Speaker 2
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Speaker 2
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Speaker 2 Code, of course, is Bad Friends to save up to $600.
Speaker 2 Hydro.com, code is Bad Friends.
Speaker 1 Chronic spontaneous urticaria or chronic hives with no known cause. It's so unpredictable.
Speaker 2 It's like playing pinball.
Speaker 1 Itchy red bumps start on my arm, then my back,
Speaker 1 sometimes my legs. Hives come out of nowhere,
Speaker 1
and it comes and goes. But I just found out about a treatment option at treatmyhives.com.
Take that, chronic hives. Learn more at treatmyhives.com.
Speaker 2 You hear about that TikToker that got shot in the movie theater in Orange County?
Speaker 2
Yeah, two of them. It was a man and a woman.
It was a bullhog. And imagine like being in quarantine for a year.
You finally go to a fucking movie. And you get shot.
And you get shot.
Speaker 2
Oh, that's the worst story. Let's move on.
But also, no, wait, son, but let me say this.
Speaker 2 But this is why I don't like this stuff, and I'm being genuine. They went to see the purge, right? It was the purge.
Speaker 2 You deserve to get shot. Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 2 I mean, you said that
Speaker 2 movie is all about killing off people. Who cares, dude? No, but I'm saying
Speaker 2 it gives the impetus to psychopaths to do something otherwise. Oh, really?
Speaker 2 So, if I'm watching like you got male, and then there's going to be a bunch of like white Karens in there, I mean, probably that's going to see you got male.
Speaker 2
No, there's a bunch of people watch different. Who Dead and Random Shooting at Purge movie? Yeah, it was at the Purge.
It was like going to see The Purge.
Speaker 2
But The Purge's whole film basis is about clearing out society. Watching Lord of the Rings, some guy's drives as a wizard, and they're doing life.
I'd love it.
Speaker 2 I would would love it.
Speaker 2 Whatever movie it is.
Speaker 2
I'm saying usually these happens in violent, violent movies. You're right, because the one in there was one in Batman.
Batman was Batman. Yeah, man.
There's usually violent films. You're right.
Speaker 2 Unfortunately. So don't watch violent films?
Speaker 2
I don't. Let me tell you something.
In a movie theater? That shouldn't be the world we live in, but disgustingly, I would stay at home to watch these films.
Speaker 2 Matt Damon was just complaining about how there is no such thing as kid, the next generation is not going to know about movie theaters. And it's like, yeah, no shit.
Speaker 2 A, home entertainment systems now are so nice why the fuck would i pay 25 for a movie ticket right i'm not leaving my house like she saw the quiet place too at the movie theater i just saw it on my fucking paramount plus i watched it on my on my ipad yeah yeah yeah how much was the tickets now how much are they now
Speaker 2 california is different by the way than other 11
Speaker 2 that's it yeah because you because you're like under 12 or something no she can get away with that she's like i'm on that 20 can i just ask you this though this is a real question but it's like it's like there was in the 90s when
Speaker 2
television was showing a lot of stand-up comedy. That's when comedy clubs started dying in the early 90s.
Do you think, though, that, and now people are starting to come out to live shows?
Speaker 2 Because there's a difference between watching a live show.
Speaker 2
Stand-up is a live performance. But live performances will never go away.
But you're watching a film is going to be tough. Yeah, but isn't there something to watching a scary movie with a big crowd?
Speaker 2
Not when there's the fear of getting shot in the head. That's true.
Because stand-up, live performance will always be good. Theater will always be good.
Broadway will always be be there.
Speaker 2 Live music will. I mean, did you see Lalapalooza? Did you see COVID-2?
Speaker 2
Look at pictures of Lala Palooza in Chicago. They just, you know, like one of the biggest musical festivals.
They just did one? Bro, shoulder to shoulder, neck to neck.
Speaker 2 Look at the images they just had. Dude, it's
Speaker 2 look at this. Nets.
Speaker 2
Because that was recently. It's just happened.
No. Over this past weekend.
No. Yes, dude.
It just happened. This is Rona.
Speaker 2
Dude. Rona.
Look at that, dude.
Speaker 2
Rona, right right there. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. That is Ventilator City right there.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2
Yeah, no, they're back. We're back.
Shows are back and stuff. I'm saying, this will never die.
Speaker 2
Live music will never die. Yeah.
You'll never take that away. But who played?
Speaker 2
You know who did? At Lollapalooza? I don't know. Look up the lineup there.
Click on one of the posters right there, Pete. You have 2021 up.
Speaker 2 Foo Fighters, Post Malone, Tyler the Creator, Motley Cyrus, DeBaby, Marshmallow, Elenium, Journey, Megan The Stallion, Roddy Rich, Kay Tredana, Brock Hampton, that's Playboy Cardi, Young Thug, Limp Biscuit, Modest Mouse, Jack Harlow, Polo G, Trippy Red, Suicide Boys, Alice in Wonderland, Slander, Steve Aofi, Brittany Howard, and Band of Horses,
Speaker 2
Jimmy E. World, Dermot Kennedy, Young the Giant, Lav Javon, Angels and Airwaves, Ian DiOr, St.
John, All-Time Low, Mount Joy, Mark Ribier, Mark Ribier, who's a good friend. Keep going.
Speaker 2
You're going to do the whole thing. I have OCD.
Whitney. If you don't know.
Dominic Fife. If you don't do surfaces, Touchami, Juaz, Freddie Gibbs, the front row bottom, the front bottoms.
Speaker 2 Did they steal that from us? The front bottoms? The front bottoms.
Speaker 2 Big Wild, Kim Patross, Yellowclaw, Subtronics, Oliver Heatens, Guy Cash, Oliver Tree, Omar, Apollo, Ash, LP, Arizona Survival, Zaprado, Earth, Gang, Rico, Hassi, Jamfuka, Jacob Banks, White Reaper, Peekaboo, Olive O'Brien, Overpack, Princess Nokia, Princess Nokia, Cautious Play, Day Glow, Trevor, Daniel, Flow Me, Bop, Beep, Flop, Bop, Beep, Flop, Baby.
Speaker 2
Okay, but can I just ask you? And last on the list, Jake Doobie. Okay, how bad does Jake Doobie feel? Sucks.
Like, he gets called, you're going to be in Lollapalooza. Really? Yeah.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 He looks at the poster, and he's the last
Speaker 2
guy out of 10,000 names. Let's see him.
There he is, Jake Doobie, right there. Yeah, click on him.
There's Jake Doobie. Yeah.
Jake Doobie. Jake Doobie.
Right, so then he shows up at Lollapalooza.
Speaker 2
They don't even give him a trailer. Right? So he's just kind of standing next to the bathroom.
He's just in an empty port-a-pop. Yeah, and he's leaning.
And people are like, who is that guy?
Speaker 2
That's Jake Doobie. Oh, is that Jake Doobie? Is that Jake Doobie? What is he doing here? I'm set to go on in 20.
No. Wait, look at the real ass.
Speaker 2
Dude, if he's last on the thing, he's at three in the morning. Well, he's in one of the far tents.
Oh, the other side. Yeah, the mini tent.
The mini tents. Is that where the bathroom is?
Speaker 2 No, that's just where Jake Doobie is doing his show.
Speaker 2
This is so mean. Poor Jake Duby.
Oh, we love it. Find out he's a huge fan of ours.
Oh, my God. Wait, let me find out.
Find out the real Jake Doobie because that obviously is not him, Pete. Clearly,
Speaker 2
just Jake Duby, musician. Yeah, music.
Oh, I guess that's Jake Duby right there.
Speaker 2
I mean, when you... Okay, I'm just going to to say.
Wait, that is when you can. That's really him.
When you Google an artist's names and there's only three photos of him,
Speaker 2 it can be good. No,
Speaker 2
but that. I feel bad, but like, when's that woman down there? That's Jake Dubois.
That's his sister. Yeah.
That's Jacinda Duby. Here's Jake Doobie.
That actually is. And here's his.
Whoa. Okay.
Speaker 2
This, this makes no sense. Oh, yeah.
His one song on Spotify has 2,300 plays. That's it.
2,300. Wow.
Speaker 2 And the Alive has what? Daddy Why You Die has more
Speaker 2 way more plays.
Speaker 2
I know we're going to have to blank this out, but let's hear for a second of it. This is Jake Duby.
We'll just play some other music over it so the listeners know.
Speaker 2 We'll play Daddy Why You Die over this.
Speaker 2 Daddy, I love you.
Speaker 2 Daddy, why you die?
Speaker 2 I would run to this.
Speaker 2
This is the music I run to when I go running. Oh, really? So you're.
Oh, I thought you would. This is what I thought you meant.
Goodbye.
Speaker 2 I thought this is what you meant.
Speaker 2
Shout out to Jake Doobie. I like your music, Jake Duby.
This is what I thought you meant. I see you in a coffee shop.
Speaker 2
I thought you meant I'd run to him, that you're watching the Foo Fighters, but then you hear that song and you ran to the tent to go see him. Jake Doobie's playing, everybody.
I'm coming, Jake Duby.
Speaker 2 I see you in a coffee shop. He always only have one song, so you show up, and it's like the the last
Speaker 2
and then it's I see you in a coffee shop. Thank you.
As I get to the table.
Speaker 2 Do it again. Can you do it again? Doobie, one more time.
Speaker 2
I feel so about Jake Doobie. I like Jake Doobie.
Jake Doobie. Download his fucking song.
You know what? Let's promo Jake Doobie. Guys,
Speaker 2
go download Jake Doobie's song, I See You in the Coffee Shop. Is that the name of the song? That can't be the name of the fucking song.
No, the song is called Run Into You. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, how weird.
Speaker 2
I said I would run to it. Run into you.
Let me see the Lalapalooza, the list again. If you show it, I'm going to read it all.
Speaker 2 Don't do it. Laundry.
Speaker 2
Schuman at the down, at Jack Duby, the Aqua Dolls. I know who they are.
Oh, Tyler and Post Malone Foo Fighter. Foo Fighter is still killing it.
Dude, see how dominatory he is? Who?
Speaker 2 The Foo Fighters are still relevant. It's been 30 years.
Speaker 2
Incredible. Well, not, yeah, maybe 30 years now, right? Incredible.
Wow. Some of their albums are just like, just classics.
I mean, classics.
Speaker 2
Dave Grohl might be the most talented musician of our generation that I've been since I was alive. Who's lasted longer than that? It's also funny.
It's like he's the drummer of what.
Speaker 2
You know who Dave Grohl is? No. Take it.
Oh, don't tell her.
Speaker 2 Dave Grohl is in the band Foo Fighters. Show a picture of Dave Grohl.
Speaker 2 But he's a multi-talented musician. I want you to guess what band he was in first because
Speaker 2 he was in the most popular
Speaker 2
Nirvana. Yeah.
How'd you know? How did you know? Did you see it? He read it. You read it.
You read a lot of bands.
Speaker 3 Because I listened to Nirvana and I saw his face.
Speaker 2 Really? What song do you like from Nirvana?
Speaker 3 Lithium.
Speaker 2 Ooh, lithium is a good song. Yeah.
Speaker 2 Do you like Smells Like Teen Spirit? You do?
Speaker 2 Down and out.
Speaker 2
Sing it. Down and out.
Sing it right now.
Speaker 3 I only know the car.
Speaker 3 When the lights off is dangerous.
Speaker 2 Yeah, it's
Speaker 2 tanned. This is
Speaker 2 stupid.
Speaker 2 We do got to help you with your English accent.
Speaker 2 Try it.
Speaker 2
Try it really with English. That's how she sounds, Marco.
Dude, she sounds like a British woman.
Speaker 2
There's no such thing as political murder. Political violence.
Political violence?
Speaker 2
Yeah, that's pretty good. Political violence.
Political violence?
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 2
Try South African. Do you one first, I'll do it.
South South Africa, it sounds like this, bro. South Africa.
South Africa. South Africa, brew?
Speaker 2
South Africa, bro. South Africa.
Ifrica.
Speaker 2 This thing is political violence, bruh.
Speaker 2
This thing is political violence. There's such a thing as political violence, brew? Bruh? There's no thing as political murder, bruh.
Bruh? There's no thing as political bombings, bro. Now do Hawaii.
Speaker 2 You know Hawaii and do you
Speaker 2 want to go first?
Speaker 2 No such thing, bro. Tell political violence.
Speaker 2
I always go to Jamaica. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There is no such thing as political violence, bro.
Speaker 2 Should we do our Chinese portion? Now, we've been learning mandarin.
Speaker 2 We've been learning mandarins. We want to apologize.
Speaker 2 They have one lesson story.
Speaker 2
I'm doing my best, John Cena. We're apologizing to China right now because they're mad at us.
Do you know this? Chinese government wrote us a letter to cease and desist this show. Why?
Speaker 2
Fancy, what do they say? The Chinese government wrote us they didn't want us to do the show anymore. What do they say, fans? Bad friends? Yeah.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 They say Bob is very disrespectful to towards our the Chinese people.
Speaker 2 What? What did I say? I don't know. They have a apparently they've got a whole
Speaker 2
ching chong stuff. That's what they say.
You said that one time, and then I think they got really mad about it. I never said Ching Chong.
We've got a couple of people. Really?
Speaker 2
You know how many times you've done an Asian accent on the show? Out of respect for you. No, not out of respect.
You go, oh, fuck you, man. I've never done that.
Yeah, you just.
Speaker 2
Oh, you've done it. I've never.
What are you actually doing? See, that seems racist. That's what you're doing.
Speaker 2
That seems racist. That's what you do.
No, I do that
Speaker 2
when I'm impersonating you. Yeah.
And then you had that one guy call me, right? What guy? I can't tell you the guy's name, but there was a guy that you made do an Asian accent on the phone.
Speaker 2
He was Asian. He wasn't.
Yes, he was. I found out who it was, and it was a fucking Hispanic guy.
It is a Hispanic guy. Exactly.
So you do... But if you.
So the letters towards you.
Speaker 2 But China doesn't care about me.
Speaker 2 What did the Ching Chang say?
Speaker 2 What did the Ching Chong say? Tell me what the Cing Chong.
Speaker 2 Was the email going Ching Chang, Ching Chong, Ching Chang, or was it in English? It was in English. It was in English.
Speaker 2
Read it to me then. It's broken English, so I read it to me.
Read it, fans. I don't have it here.
I have to paraphrase. Okay, paraphrase.
Speaker 2 Bad friends, you guys are going to be
Speaker 2
prohibited in China. We're not going to be able to stream in China.
Do we have any fans there? YouTube. We're in China.
We're going to get a few people there. Yeah.
A few people. We do.
Speaker 2
We definitely get China streams. Oh, dude.
Yeah. I'm going to look it up.
Mostly because of Bobby Lee's attitude towards Asians in general.
Speaker 2 That's bad to hear, Bob.
Speaker 2
Is that how you want us to live our rest of our careers? Stop, stop. Okay, I'm looking right now.
Oh, here you go. Here you go.
Top listening countries to bad friends.
Speaker 2 U.S., Canada, Australia, United Kingdom, Sweden, New Zealand, Ireland, Norway, Germany, Netherlands, Denmark, Finland, Puerto Rico, Iceland, South Africa, Mexico, Japan, France, Austria, Belgium, Philippines.
Speaker 2 Oh, Philippines.
Speaker 2 Spain, Singapore, Spain, Singapore, Switzerland, South Korea, India, Saudi Arabia, Italy, Portugal, Poland, Hong Kong, Iran, Brazil, United Arab Emirates, Israel, Malaysia, Romania, Czech Republic, Taiwan, Thailand, Guam, Estonia, Hungary, Vietnam, Indonesia, Kuwait, Chile, Greece, Russia, Slovenia, Latvia, Turkey, Serbia, Egypt, Argentina, Costa Rica, Qatar, Croatia, Morocco, Iraq, Slovakia, Ukraine, Colombia, Bulgaria, Lithuania, Kenya, Peru, Panama, Jamaica, Bahrain, Guatemala, Dominican Republic, and China's not on here.
Speaker 2 Yeah, because you guys were banned. We got banned because of you.
Speaker 2
So thanks a lot. Now China can't stream us.
Regroup?
Speaker 2
I got to save it. Well, then try to apologize and regroup.
Okay. Dear China.
Is that how you say it? I think dear China. Yeah, yeah.
I think you say dear China. My Chinese.
Speaker 2
I'm not Chinese, so I can't say Chinese people. I'm going to say dear Asians.
Yeah. Dear Asians who happen to be in China.
Dear Asians who currently live in China. Yeah.
Which is. Okay.
Dear
Speaker 2
Asians who happen to be Chinese, who live in China. Perfect.
You know what I mean? Yeah. I love you.
Speaker 2 Right?
Speaker 2
I love your sweet and pungent shrimp. Love sweet and pungent shrimp.
Yeah. I love your sweet and pungent shrimp.
Speaker 2
I love the New York, Nuke's, New York-style egg rolls. New York-style eggs are so good.
Fucking best. Better the best.
Speaker 2 And I know that, I know that it's not you, Chinese people, that created the New York Chinese. That's American Chinese.
Speaker 2 That's American Chinese, but still, you are the foundation in which the New York came up from.
Speaker 2
It has to be different. You're influential.
It's like the Beatles was influenced by some jazz, I guess, or blues and stuff. And so
Speaker 2 the Beatles played homage to Chinese. Chinese people are the Beatles of
Speaker 2 Egg Rolls. Of egg rolls.
Speaker 2
So, congratulations. Thank you so much for Chaoyun Fat.
Chow Yun Fat. Shout out to Chia Yonat.
Speaker 2
Crouching Tiger. So good.
Yeah, and
Speaker 2
whatever. Everything.
Everything that he's done. Everything that he's done.
He's phenomenal. Thank you so much for Jet Lee.
Love. Thank you so much for Jackie Chan.
Love.
Speaker 2
Thank you so much for the martial arts. Yep.
Dude, it's like without the martial arts. Taekwondo.
Yeah. It goes like, I'll tell you in terms of like self-defense, it goes guns.
Speaker 2 Guns are the best. Best, right? It goes semi-automatic guns,
Speaker 2
rockets, warheads, in terms of that, right? And then it goes to like knives. Swords, knives.
Swords, knives, those types of things, right? Cutlery. Yeah, and then Haiya is third.
Third. Hiya is third.
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you're in a Chinese village somewhere.
My head fell off again. I know.
This is the fifth time you've done this. Exactly.
Speaker 2
Here's another thing is I'm sorry. There's things I'm sorry about.
What are you sorry for? I'm sorry about the earthquakes. Well, you didn't cause them.
I know, but there's a lot of people
Speaker 2
that got damaged from it. You know what I mean? There is.
Oh, congratulations on the wall. In fact, it's great.
In fact, I want to invite you to make our wall.
Speaker 2 Because you guys made that wall thousands of years ago. We can't even.
Speaker 2
holes in our walls. There's fucking people are climbing over it.
Imagine why don't you guys make our wall? Donald Trump. We'll get the Chinese to build it.
Speaker 2 They built a wall. A great wall.
Speaker 2
It was long. Here's another thing about the dear Chinese people.
China, you want to come build our wall?
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 2 Thank you so much for the
Speaker 2
clothes. Close.
Right. Technology.
Technology.
Speaker 2
Sign off to China. Say thank you, China.
Ching Chong.
Speaker 2 Dang, bang, ching chong.
Speaker 2
I love, dude, here's the thing. Let's go back to the Asian thing.
Yeah. Is that
Speaker 2
so? There's this new generation of kids that are woke. Sure.
Right. So I've had like people like Ali Wong come up to me and go, it's so crazy the kind of shit that you used to audition for,
Speaker 2
the stuff that was available to you, and you were able to survive in that world. Like 95% of the things that I was offered is with Asian accents or some demeaning role.
Sure.
Speaker 2 And I'm getting way better shit now. Of course.
Speaker 2 So there was a time in the world where I had to survive in show business by playing this little game of being like talking about Maramai Rays and making fun of it and this and that.
Speaker 2 And also like trying to
Speaker 2
fight against it. It was a weird kind of...
place that I was in.
Speaker 2 And
Speaker 2 so a lot of my humor, like I like people, like I'm not, you guys, like guys like Ronnie Chang probably don't talk about their race and this and that, but I still make fun of it and stuff.
Speaker 2
And I think, is that really China Mad or no? No, of course not. They don't even know we exist.
Less than 1%. So why did we do that? Just for a gag.
Speaker 2
Oh, then I don't know. Forget what I just said then.
Yeah. No, but what you're saying is what we've said on the show before.
Look, when we make any of those jokes, it's just out of love.
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Speaker 2 Rules and restrictions apply.
Speaker 2 Congratulations or no? What did she do? They won their first gold. The Philippines won their first gold.
Speaker 2 What was it in?
Speaker 3 Weightlifting the girl.
Speaker 2 A medalist Medalist would be accused of being part of a plot against Duarte.
Speaker 2 What is Duterte?
Speaker 3 The president.
Speaker 2 Oh, that's the president of the Philippines? He is
Speaker 2 one of the worst
Speaker 2
leaders on planet Earth. Does he kill his own people? He makes lists, right? And he does it.
Let's get on his list, you and I. No, no, I don't want to be on his list because I want to go there.
Speaker 2
I don't. So what? Let's get on his list.
Let's fight him. You think we can't fight Duterte? We'll fight him and win.
No, no, we're not.
Speaker 2
How big is the Philippine army, really? Dude, dude, it's like 17 dudes. You don't want to fuck with Duterte.
Why don't you want to fuck with Duterte?
Speaker 2 Why not? Why can't I fuck with Duterte?
Speaker 2 They do shit like, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 Torture stuff?
Speaker 2 No, but if like, for instance, like a social media girl in the Philippines, right, says something bad about him, and then she goes like scuba diving, they'll just find her dead body floating in the ocean.
Speaker 2
Oh, yeah, cool mafia shit. Yeah.
That's cool.
Speaker 2
We do do that in America. We're just better at hiding it.
I know, we don't hide it. But, like, so she won the first gold for weightlifting.
For weightlifting. Do you know what she lifted?
Speaker 2 I don't know. This is the pride of your fucking country, and you don't know anything about this.
Speaker 5 I know her first name.
Speaker 2 What is it?
Speaker 3 Heidelin.
Speaker 2 Heidelin.
Speaker 2
And what's her last name? I forgot. Good.
That's good. The first gold medal in the history of your country.
Speaker 2
But when she wins, you cannot, you have to shed a tear. It's, it's, she makes, she made, like, Joe Coyne went crazy.
He nutted. Joe Coy went, oh, he nutted all over his belly.
Like, he went crazy.
Speaker 2 He both went crazy, dude. Is Joe Coi a hero in the Philippines?
Speaker 3 A lot of people like him.
Speaker 2 When she won,
Speaker 2 and he, she came, because I think she was
Speaker 2
outspoken against Duterte. Duterte.
Right? Yeah. And good for her.
Because they get no money. Like before, no, before
Speaker 2 she's training in a field, there's no, you know what I mean? There's no facility.
Speaker 2
You You already have the gold. Forget them.
Gold is gold. And it would be good for you to just let bygones be bygones and dwell solely on your victory.
That's what the Philippine president said.
Speaker 2
It's crazy, right? He's trying to say, like, shut your mouth back or we'll kill you. And they're like, they gave her like $200,000.
You know that?
Speaker 2
And some guy that owns like property goes, I'll give you this apartment that's worth $250,000. So she got a bunch of shit.
Yeah, I hope so. She's the only gold matter.
Speaker 2 The gold matter, they should treat her like she's the queen. Yeah.
Speaker 2
There must be like murals. There should be they're just making murals about her.
Let's see how much weight she lifted. Can I find out what? Well, just look at the video.
Oh, sure. Of her winning.
Speaker 2 Just, you know, this is her moment. This is it.
Speaker 2
For gold. Hang on, hang on.
Hang on. Did she jerk it? Oh, she's crying.
DS did
Speaker 2 three white lights. It's gold for the Philippines.
Speaker 2
Oh, my goodness. This is absolutely unbelievable.
Dude. At long last,
Speaker 2 the Philippines with its first ever Olympic gold medal in any sport, and it comes in women's weightlifting. When she gets on to the Philippines, she gets handed like three chickens.
Speaker 2 That's all she gets.
Speaker 2 Three chickens and a boar. Sound that impressive.
Speaker 2 So.
Speaker 2 Why? It's just heavy stuff above your head.
Speaker 2 Bro, bro, bro.
Speaker 2
Okay. That's just heavy stuff above her head.
Okay. Have you seen Taekwondo? I love Taekwondo.
It's the worst thing I've ever seen. What do you mean, Olympic Taekwondo? Yeah.
Speaker 2
It's the worst thing I've ever seen. Clearly, I'm joking that this is a very impressive show in a gold medal.
Yeah, yeah. Thank you.
We've got great news.
Speaker 2 George Kimmel no longer has more followers on Instagram than Fancy Bee.
Speaker 2 We did it. What a great.
Speaker 2
You know what? We did it. Bad Friends Family, we did it.
Fancy Bee officially has 20,000 followers. And what does George have? What does George have? George has 17,000.
Oh, and he'll never catch up.
Speaker 2
Never. Guys, we want to keep this going.
We want to keep this going follow Fancy B. Show the page.
Because, you know, Fancy B. Badfield Rudy has almost 80,000.
And I want Fancy to catch up.
Speaker 2
Let's get to 80,000 with Fancy. Fancy, we got to post a little bit more, though.
Can I just say something else then?
Speaker 2
I think anyone following George, listening right now, unfollowed. Follow George.
Please, unfollow. I want him to go lower, right? So that we can get him a little cushion.
Right?
Speaker 2
So I'm telling you right now, and I'm going to say something right now. I'm going to look directly into the camera, right? Because I'm kind of like a shaman in many ways.
Correct. Right.
Speaker 2
And I'm a good luck charm. Correct.
So
Speaker 2
to our listeners, we're very grateful for what you've done. Big time.
Right. We have the best fans in the whole world.
Yep. But I also have connections with the spirit world.
He definitely does.
Speaker 2 And what I want to say to you is this.
Speaker 2 If you,
Speaker 2 right now, if you follow George Kimmel,
Speaker 2 if you unfollow him, right? Good things are going to happen for you this year.
Speaker 2
You're going to have gifts that you never thought you would receive. Money.
Some money. If you're single, some tang.
Love. Some tang.
Some little bit of tang tang is coming your way with you.
Speaker 2
Something tang, right? If you're a woman, real good dick. Real good dick.
Like the high quality. Like,
Speaker 2
we would suck it. We would.
We would suck the dick you would get. That's what you're going to get.
You're going to get prosper. Prosperity.
Health. Good.
Speaker 2
If you have a limp, limp's gone. Limp Limp is gone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you have carpal tunnel, you can play fucking ping pong.
Now you can get in there. Yeah, get back in there, right?
Speaker 2 So please, I'm telling you. And if you don't unfollow him,
Speaker 2 oh,
Speaker 2 wow.
Speaker 2
Are you going to tell him what's going to happen? Yeah. You're going to have joint aches.
Joint aches. You'll have joint aches, right?
Speaker 2
You'll have fever dreams. Fever dreams, right? Night sweats.
Night sweats, right? And you're not just going to have wet dreams. They're not wet dreams.
Good.
Speaker 2
Wet dreams, but you're going to piss yourself every night. Yeah.
And what I've also, when I do some of these shaman prophecies, right? And I don't know why, but your eyebrow hairs fall off.
Speaker 2
They all fall out. Yeah, they just start falling off.
Oh, no. Like ash.
Speaker 2 What happens to their toes? You said something?
Speaker 2
They crinkle. They curl up.
They curl up and crinkle. Like the Wizard of Oz.
Yeah, like
Speaker 2
they look real nasty. Oh, gross.
They look real nasty. Also, what happens is indigestion problems.
Oh, so tell me stuff. Yeah, you want stuff.
Like, it's like not crowns, but crowns. It's cloak-cross.
Speaker 2
It's cloaked. Basically, crowns.
So please, right? I don't want this to happen to you. Me neither.
So please. And also it's hilarious.
It is very funny. So please,
Speaker 2
it's hilarious. So please unfollow George Kimball.
Here's the goal. Yeah.
Speaker 2 We've got
Speaker 2
how many months left in the year? Four. What do we got? Yeah.
August, September, October, November, December. Five months left.
Yeah.
Speaker 2
Five months we've got to get Fancy B to 80,000. To 80,000.
And George to a husband. And George to 1,000.
Speaker 2
That's our goal. Fancy needs to be near her, and George needs to be near an open mic.
An open mic. Yeah, yeah.
Or below. Yeah.
Speaker 2
So, please, God, please, God. Please, God, please.
We're begging you. We were begging it happen.
So I'm going to do a thing.
Speaker 2
Now it's real. Wow.
It's real. Did you feel that?
Speaker 2 Yeah, you felt it, right? You did, did you? Yeah, yeah. I'll do one more.
Speaker 2
Oh, shit. That made it.
That is real. You felt it in your soul.
Right here. Right, yeah.
Right here. Your soul went jiggly.
Speaker 2
Jiggle jangles. It jiggle jangles your soul.
Fancy, you got to post more. If this is the deal, he's putting out all this.
No, you know what? My prophecy is this, right?
Speaker 2
And my thing is, you don't even have to post fancy. I believe the fans are just going to do it.
Okay. Yeah, yeah, but I do.
You're just going to do it. But also post more fancy.
Maybe post more.
Speaker 2
Post a little bit more. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, post. 66 posts is not enough.
It's fancy be
Speaker 2
period one. So keep Rudy where she is or gain a few more, but Fancy's got to shoot up.
He's got to get. If Rudy's attitude doesn't change.
Oh, then you're up next on the chopping.
Speaker 2
Yeah, I'll do another prophecy on you, man. Right.
But she doesn't care.
Speaker 2 Okay, well, then we'll delete your account completely.
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 2 Would you delete your account?
Speaker 3 Yeah, if you want.
Speaker 2
Oh, so we'll delete it right now then. And you'll be completely fine with it.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 She doesn't, she's so cool to not care. She's too young.
Speaker 2 Life is so good.
Speaker 2
Nothing matters. Such a great line.
Yeah, and we're just older.
Speaker 2
She has to clean cat pee. Good.
A lot. Dude, a raccoon pooped on my front doorstep,
Speaker 2 unless that was you. It was me.
Speaker 2
It was me. I cleaned up a raccoon-like.
It was the biggest pile of shit I've ever seen in my life. In your front doorstep.
Front door. And I looked on the camera on the skin of the camera.
Nothing.
Speaker 2
Nothing. It was me.
It was? Yeah.
Speaker 2
Can I tell you something? You would play a good raccoon. No, I do ninja shits.
You do ninja shits? Yeah, yeah. So you can't even see me on the front camera.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 I flip, flip, flip, shit, flip, flip, out.
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 2
In and out. You can't say me.
I cleaned up the biggest pile of shit today and my dog. Cause I
Speaker 2 would be funny though. Tonight is a zombie shitting on your front.
Speaker 2 If it was actually me. You shitting on my front doorstep? Would it be funny? Well, we'd have a shit-off.
Speaker 2
You want to do a shit-off? We would have one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Khalila would be upset.
Speaker 3 I would have to clean it.
Speaker 2 That's right.
Speaker 2 I did a shit off with Ari Shafir, and it backfired on me. Didn't he poop in a car? He pooped in someone's car, right? Not just the car, man.
Speaker 2
So he saved up a month worth of shit, put it in the freezer. That's fucking repulsive.
I know, but he did. He saved his own poop? Yeah, in a double bag, brown paper bag.
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 So what he did was he,
Speaker 2 probably a month worth of shit. And then what happened was he put it in the handle of my car.
Speaker 2 So I did this, put the shit in my fingers, right? So I'm like, what the fuck? I opened the car, right? Yeah, you have a poop on your hand. And then he has one
Speaker 2
on the window. Just one window.
One little turd. Right.
So I go, I'll just do the fucking wipers. It was all on the wipers.
Speaker 2
So it wiped shit all over the place. It moved poop all over.
All over the fucking thing, right?
Speaker 2
So I went to a 7-Eleven down the street. And I went to a homeless guy.
And I go, dude, if I get wind decks and paper towels at 7-Eleven, will you clean this? He goes, how much?
Speaker 2
You told him it it was poop? It was poop. You said it was poop.
I go, 50 bucks. Nah.
Nah. I paid him $200.
To clean poop off your car? Yeah. You didn't want to go to a professional car wash?
Speaker 2
It was at two in the morning. They have those car washes at the gas stations.
I don't know how to do that. So I just had the guy.
You played a homeless guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
$200? Yeah.
Speaker 2 And did you say that? And he was so bumped doing. He was like, fucking shit, motherfucking.
Speaker 2
All this juice shit. I think he said juice shit, not me.
He knew. He knew it was juice shit.
Speaker 2
But wait a minute. Yeah, yeah.
200 bucks?
Speaker 2
Too much? No, it's pretty good. It's a good payday.
It feels like a fair trade. Yeah.
How much would it take for you to clean poop off of a car?
Speaker 2 If I threw poop on Bobby's car and you had to clean it off, how much does it cost?
Speaker 3 I can do it for free.
Speaker 2 Oh, well, that's a Filipino in our. That is the Filipino.
Speaker 2
Yeah, no, charge. No, you have to charge.
Yeah.
Speaker 2
$100. $100.
That's a good rate. Less than the bum.
Speaker 2 Less than a homeless person. Yeah,
Speaker 2
you know what? We got to build your self-esteem. We really do.
Hey, man, you don't clean up shit for any less than $500.
Speaker 2 Okay. Okay.
Speaker 2 Yeah. Is everything okay? Yeah.
Speaker 2
It's so funny because she doesn't like, she doesn't realize that she has a lot of people out there, bad friends. Bad friends, fans, yeah.
That love her, right? To death.
Speaker 2 Like, if, if, like, you played Kalusa, right? I played Kalusa, yeah. If Rudy would have walked up
Speaker 2
on that stage, how many, 800 people? They would have lost it. Would they have lost it? Do they all ask me? They would have lost it.
For you.
Speaker 2
And you don't feel anything. I do.
What do you feel? Grateful.
Speaker 2
I don't buy it. I don't buy it.
I just don't buy it. Yeah, yeah.
I don't buy it. I am.
Prove it. Prove it.
Speaker 2 Why don't you do this? A little message.
Speaker 2
And this is not comedy. You know what I mean? This is a heartfelt message that you can give to our fans.
To the bad friends' family. Right? So, please, the floor is yours.
Speaker 2
Look into your camera. A public service announcement from Rudy.
Into your camera.
Speaker 3 Hello, everyone.
Speaker 2 Not a good opening.
Speaker 2 You gotta have something stronger than
Speaker 2
from your heart. Maybe go European, like a different language.
That's right.
Speaker 2 European? Yeah. Why don't you say it in Filipino?
Speaker 2
What's your language? What's the language? Talaka. Tutut.
Tatut.
Speaker 2
Pisaya. Pisaya.
Paya. Pisaya.
Go ahead and say it in Pisaya. Let's hear it.
Speaker 3 Hello, Atekuya.
Speaker 2 Sounds like a drunk Hawaiian.
Speaker 2 Let me finish. Tiny bubbles.
Speaker 2 Tiny bubbles.
Speaker 2 In the wai.
Speaker 2 Go ahead.
Speaker 2 Coconut. I heard coconut and they love coconut.
Speaker 3 And
Speaker 3 yeah, bye-bye.
Speaker 2 Bye-bye.
Speaker 2 Is there no bye-bye in Philippines?
Speaker 2 What's goodbye? What's goodbye?
Speaker 3 There is a word, but I just say goodbye.
Speaker 2 I forgot. Do people do adults say bye-bye to each other? In the Philippine language, like in that language, right?
Speaker 2 Do you guys use American words? Because you just didn't create like hot, like what words? Hospital? Is that
Speaker 2 emergency room? Do you just say emergency room, or you say
Speaker 2 you'll just say emergency room? They don't have a word for emergency.
Speaker 3 I think there is, but it's like a deeper
Speaker 2 meaning. It's a deep cut.
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to really be a fan of the language.
What are some American words that everyone has to use? Because you didn't make one, because you guys are.
Speaker 2 There is.
Speaker 3 It's just a harder word.
Speaker 2 A harder word to say? Yeah.
Speaker 2 It's your language. That doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3 Yeah, but in school, they taught us English.
Speaker 2 Yeah, Like my dad, right, growing up, he would go,
Speaker 2 you go turn off Ercon.
Speaker 2
Ercon? Yeah. Air conditioner.
Right. Ercon.
Orinji. What's oring? Orange juice.
Oh, oh. Is that what an orange is? I don't know.
Orinji. He would go, oring.
Speaker 2
I'll give him orange juice. I like that a lot.
I got to watch.
Speaker 2 I wish we said that.
Speaker 2
Yeah. So there's just certain words that he would like, you know.
He would just shorten up and throw in there.
Speaker 2 Like, I remember, like, I went to my friend Craig Crawford's house, yeah, and his stepdad. Like, we were going out one night.
Speaker 2 You and his stepdad were going out? No, no, no, but Craig and I were going out. Oh, so stepdad, you know how white families they'll sit down with their son.
Speaker 2
He's like, Hey guys, so I know you guys are going to party, but like, um, make sure you have my number. Don't drink, don't drink and drive.
Um, you can always call me,
Speaker 2
always call me, I'm here all night. You know what I mean? Totally be safe, wear your seatbelt, the whole thing, right? Right.
So, I remember one time Craig came to my house
Speaker 2 and my dad, his speech was this: don't do,
Speaker 2 don't do
Speaker 2 that's it, don't do, don't do. And was Craig like
Speaker 2 we won't do it, we won't do, we won't do it, don't don't do, don't, which is so ambiguous because it's like, now anything, he doesn't want you to do anything, yeah.
Speaker 2 But if I do anything, it could be the thing that he didn't want us to do, of course, that's why he did it. So, like, what did you do tonight? You went to McDonald's, I told you not to do
Speaker 2 right and just slapped me, right? Would he ever slap Craig? Do you think he ever would hit one of your friends? No,
Speaker 2 my brother. So
Speaker 2 my brother Steve was with his friend, David Oliver.
Speaker 2 And my dad, my brother had gotten this Casio keyboard thing.
Speaker 2
It was a sampler. Yeah, okay.
So you go, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, right?
Speaker 2
So they're just in my brother's room playing this thing, laughing. And they were a little too loud.
My dad was taking a nap. So my dad ran into the room.
Shut up,
Speaker 2 right? Completely naked.
Speaker 2 He takes the Casio keyboard, right?
Speaker 2
Slams it on my brother's head. No.
Keys are just flying. Right?
Speaker 2 And then
Speaker 2
here's the best part. Here's the best part.
Yeah. Throws it down.
Now it's just wires. My brother's crying.
Speaker 2 He turns around and David and Oliver, my brother,
Speaker 2 almost,
Speaker 2 they almost got murdered because what they found on my dad was the funniest thing they had ever seen. What? My dad had
Speaker 2 toilet paper sticking out like a Korean
Speaker 2 kite
Speaker 2
out of his ass. Because my dad always had really moist ass cheeks.
He would sleep with this toilet paper. In his ass.
Speaker 2 So he turned around and then like my brother was crying, but then they tried to cover because they didn't want to get beat again because it was so funny.
Speaker 2
Wait, your dad would just put toilet paper in his butt cheek. Sham it right in his fucking ass cheeks.
Do you have to do that? Is that but I do have a leaky thing like he does. You do? Yeah.
Speaker 2
It's hereditary. Yeah, yeah.
Why don't you sleep at night with a diaper or a pad? I don't refuse to do it. Why? You're going to get older.
It's going to get worse. No, I have shit stains.
You do?
Speaker 2
Yeah. Do most of your underwear has poop stains? Yeah.
Right now. Me on these.
We cut to that.
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I do have a lot of shit stains.
But it's hereditary.
Speaker 2 I don't know if that is.
Speaker 2
Well, you think that I don't finish shitting or I don't know how to wipe? No, I don't think you finish. I don't think you wipe properly.
It's not finished shitting. Dude, I do.
Speaker 2 Hello, Tushie.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Wait, do you use baby wipes? Bro, don't be insulting.
Okay, dude. You told me that you have shit in your underwear.
Listen. You're 50.
I'm telling you right now.
Speaker 2
My 50-year-old friend just told me he has poop streaks in his underwear. What do you want me to do? I'm inquiring.
I'm telling you right now, Chacho, right, that it's hereditary. It's not.
Speaker 2 Pete, Google is poop streak.
Speaker 2
Is a leaky anus hereditary. You don't have the leaky increase.
SA2 is a leaky anus hereditary. Google loves this.
Fecal incontinence. You don't have fecal incontinence.
I have fecal incontinent, man.
Speaker 2
No, you don't. Fec incontinence.
That's the name of your next special. Fecal incontinence, by the way.
Speaker 2
Bobby's album. Fecal incontinence, the inability to control bowel movements.
That's not true. You can control all that.
And
Speaker 2
it forces feces to leak unexpectedly from the rectum. You don't have that.
That's it. I do it 100% of that.
That's old people do. That's like people in their 70s and 80s.
I have it, dude. You do?
Speaker 2
You think you're fecal incontinence? 100% I have it. Really? Yeah.
I don't have a good diet, too. I think that's what it is.
No, no. Bad diets don't just make you poop out of nowhere.
Speaker 2
Well, if you eat like Reese's peanut butter cups and acai bowls every day, that's all you eat? Yeah. It'll happen.
What did you eat today? Acai ball. I swear on my life.
That's all you've had.
Speaker 2
I swear on my mother's life. What do you eat for the day? Eggs.
That's all you had today was eggs. Rice.
Rice. Yeah?
Speaker 2 And
Speaker 3 greens.
Speaker 2 What? Salad? Yeah.
Speaker 2
That's not a bad diet. Acai bowl and Reese's pieces is not.
You can't, dude. I have.
I know. And I will.
I have and I will. Okay, speaking of which, your 50th birthday is coming up.
Yeah.
Speaker 2
We have to do something important. I'm going to be a big party.
I know, but we have to do a bad friends thing.
Speaker 2
So we all decided without Bobby, right in, and we're going to pick a winner to come party with Bobby for his 50th birthday, one of the bad friends fans. More than one.
Let's do 10.
Speaker 2
How many people do you want? Let's do a 10. How about this? Yeah.
Let's do a competition. 10 fans.
Speaker 2
10 Bad Friends fans. If they live in California, Southern California.
Southern California.
Speaker 2 You can come up and
Speaker 2
get your mask and you have to be also vaccinated. Sure.
You have to have a living. Have your vaccination card.
Yeah. Wait, wait, they don't have to live here.
Speaker 2
They have to live close enough where they can get here on their own. And if you want to fly, if you will fly here, then fly here.
For Bobby's 50th. For my 50th.
Speaker 2 Because I'm going to have one party. Should we just invite them to my big party? 100%.
Speaker 2 So I'm going to have a big party where I'm going to have all the comics there
Speaker 2 and some actors
Speaker 2 and a lot of Filipinos. Can you imagine how this is going to be so big for them? What do they have to do to get to your 50th birthday party? They know what they have to do.
Speaker 2 That's all I have to say.
Speaker 2 Huh.
Speaker 2 They know what they have to do. You're not going to give them an email or anything.
Speaker 2
How do they submit? Oh, yeah. They have to submit.
That's true. You have to find out somehow, some way that they want to come to your 50th birthday party.
Speaker 2 Do we want them to send in a video explaining why they deserve to come
Speaker 2
to the party? Yeah, have a good example why. I want to party with Bobby at gmail.com.
Because I want to feel like you're a real fan. Well, we need to know.
I need passion. Right.
Right. And I need
Speaker 2
because I don't want you to show up and, like, you know, what's your favorite episode or whatever? And like, I only seen two. I don't want that.
You don't, you want a diehard.
Speaker 2
I want somebody that's seen every week. Right.
You know what I mean? Also, somebody that
Speaker 2 will give us like
Speaker 2
helpful advice in terms of how we can improve. The show? Yeah.
Okay. And what we need to keep doing.
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah, just different things. But the top thing is positive analysis.
Speaker 2
You got to explain why you think you deserve to come to Bobby's 50th birthday party because that's monumental, dude. It's a half a century.
It's huge. That's huge.
Yeah.
Speaker 2
So hopefully the email will be, I want to party with Bobby at gmail.com. If it's not, we'll put the real one right here on the screen.
They'll find out. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2
The real one will be right here right now. Yeah.
And we'll let you know what it is. And do you think 10's a lot? 10 seems like way too many.
I said one. Yeah, let's make it 10.
Speaker 2 Well, how about let Rudy pick? I think 10 is fine. All right, 10's fine.
Speaker 2
Yeah, but it's going to be. Here's how about this.
We'll do four.
Speaker 2
You can bring a guest. Ah, that makes sense.
You plus one. You plus one.
I like that. Right, because you want to go there alone.
That would be. Right.
But that would be five. Oh, yeah, so do five.
Speaker 2
Five plus one is five. Plus one is ten.
Yeah. And also, just the person that you bring, right? Just don't bring any crazies.
Don't bring any crazies.
Speaker 2
In fact, I want to know in the video who you're going to bring. That's fun.
Explain why you're bringing it. Why you're bringing the person, right? That's really good.
Speaker 2
They need a little bit of a pitch. That's what they're doing.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
He's a Christian, right? He plays badminton for this call, whatever it might be. You love badminton players.
Speaker 2
I love batmint. That's a big thing.
That's going to be at the party. We're going to have badminton atmosphere.
Speaker 2
And then I'm probably going to do it at a restaurant. Well, we need a room.
We need a banquet room for it. No, I went a restaurant.
I'll rent out a restaurant. I know.
You got to rent the whole thing.
Speaker 2
I will. Mastro's? No, something like weird.
Obscure. Obscure and weird, but good food.
Chili.
Speaker 2 No.
Speaker 2 No, man. Chili's a great place.
Speaker 2 Chili's is great. Like, how about like Morton's, but like one of those.
Speaker 2 The palm.
Speaker 2
We think we can get that. It's so expensive.
So what?
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 2 You know what we'll do? We'll take it from the Rudy Fund.
Speaker 2
We'll take the money from the Rudy Fund. She'll never know.
Right. How will she know? She doesn't even know what's in there right now.
Speaker 2
We'll take money from the Rudy Fund. What's the date? It's August.
Today is August. Today is August already.
It's next month. Yeah, dude.
That's what I'm saying. We got to make a reservation now.
Speaker 2
Now, we need to get on this right now. Oh, we do have to do it.
Yes, 100%. And do invites.
Yeah, dude. Yeah.
Speaker 2
We got to do a big... We have to start now.
Yeah. Who do I invite? Who do I invite? Who do I invite to your party? Yeah, just name some people.
Speaker 2
Griffin, for sure. Eric.
Yeah. Me.
Speaker 2 For sure.
Speaker 2
Whitney Cummings. Yeah, Rudy.
Yeah. Okay, Rudy.
Right. Hey.
Pete. Yeah, those guys come.
Pete? Yeah, I like them. Pete, please submit a video to I Want to Party with Bobby.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2
Maybe a video. Got it.
Yeah. I want Pete to make a video.
What about fans? Yeah, for sure. And P.D.? Who's PD? Pink Dick.
Yeah, he has to. Okay, fine.
Yeah. He can come.
Speaker 2
All right, so outside of that, who else? Some comics, probably some actors. I'm going to go highball it, too.
Who famous? I'm going to try for Jordan Peely. He won't be able to do it.
Speaker 2
He'll never do it. Yeah.
I'm going to try for. Jamie Lee Curtis.
Never. She'll never do it.
Speaker 2 I'm going to try for.
Speaker 2
Keegan will come. No, he won't.
Won't come. Will not come.
Sasso.
Speaker 2
He'll come. He'll come.
Yeah. You make a big difference.
In my head, I'm like, what women? A lot. Nikki Glazier.
All the podcast people like Burt Reischer, Tom Segura, all those types of people.
Speaker 2 Burt won't come. Hey, well.
Speaker 2
I'm saying he's on the road. Those guys are all on the road.
And Segura lives in Austin now, gone. Joe Coyle invite.
Would you invite Joe Rogan? He's not in town. But I dare you to invite him.
Speaker 2
I will invite him. Invite him and see if he'll come for your 50th birthday.
I talked to him a couple days ago. All right, name female comics that you want there.
Speaker 2 A lot of my openers, like Jake Catapretta. Yep.
Speaker 2
Nicole Amy Schrister, who opened for me. Annie Letterman.
Yeah. Nicole Amy Schraser.
She just opened for me this weekend. How great she is.
So funny. Yeah.
Speaker 2 I would go for Mark Maron, Bill Burr, those types of guys. Yeah, they won't come.
Speaker 2 Bill Burr, definitely. Dude, you think I'm going to come to your fucking 50th birthday party? Al Madrid.
Speaker 2
I went to his. To Bill's? Yeah.
Yeah, but he's more famous than you.
Speaker 2
Yeah, he's not going to come. I'm going to invite him.
Yeah, but I know he's going to throw it right in the trash. Yeah.
Speaker 2 Imagine he'll get the email and he won't even open it.
Speaker 2
Pauli will come. Pauli will have to be there.
I think he should. He'll work there.
I think he should.
Speaker 2 He should serve drinks. Yeah.
Speaker 2 It'll be a, you'll know people.
Speaker 2
Can I be honest with you? We should have a dinner for our family, like the close people. Yeah.
And your party should be at the comedy store. No.
Be in the main room.
Speaker 2
I'm doing a 300-man party at a restaurant. Okay, fine.
Okay. Anyway, thank you, Mike.
Speaker 2
Bob? Yeah, I love you. Submit, guys.
I want to party with with Bob at Gmail. I can email him.
Speaker 2
Two weeks. Okay.
Yeah. And then, so we'll find out who submits those videos.
Speaker 2
Excited to see that. So excited.
I'm so excited. All right.
Rudy, sign us off in what's the language again? Bisaya. Pisaya.
Speaker 2 Thank you for being a bad friend and Pisaya in the camera there.
Speaker 3 Salamat
Speaker 3 for being a bad friend.
Speaker 2
No. No.
Assalam alaihama laykam. No, you can't.
Assalam ala ma alaikum alikam salam in here. Salamat.
Speaker 2 How do you, what does salama mean?
Speaker 3 Thank you.
Speaker 2 How do you say bad?
Speaker 2 Naughty, negative, no, wrong.
Speaker 3 Salamat.
Speaker 3 Sapagiking.
Speaker 2
Sapa geeking is bad. Type this up so we can read this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 Yeah, we want to do it together.
Speaker 3 I don't know what's bad, friend, desire.
Speaker 2
Oh, God. Your friend.
You know what? No, Pete. Pete's friend.
What's friend? Pete. Miga.
Miga. Miga.
Pete. Gogo.
Go or mega. Go to translate.com.
Speaker 3 Ah ah. Salamat.
Speaker 2 How do you not know your own language? It's so sad.
Speaker 2 It's hard to translate.
Speaker 2
Thank you for being a bad friend. Let's see if it comes close.
Yeah, thank you for being a bad friend. All right,
Speaker 2 see if this is close, Rudy. All right, the machine says.
Speaker 3 That's the galugzo.
Speaker 2 All right, find and fucking go to Google Translate Pete so we can get her the one that she needs. Google Translate.
Speaker 2 All right, what is it called?
Speaker 3 Visayan.
Speaker 2 V with a V? Yeah. Okay, see it there?
Speaker 2 No.
Speaker 2
Nothing. Wow, it's not there.
That's how much they do. It's a language only one island says, right?
Speaker 3 A couple of islands.
Speaker 2
All right, what's the closest? Tongalu? Tagalog, yeah. Go to, go to that.
Try that one. That's fine.
Sorry. It's up there.
First top. So we'll just have to do it in Tangalu.
Speaker 2
Because you don't even know your own language. Oh, you don't like that? No, it's fine.
No, no, no. Stop.
Pete.
Speaker 2
Just type this in right where you're typing. Tell them how to spell your version.
We want to do your justice. Because Philippines won a gold medal.
This is the least we could do for the Philippines.
Speaker 3 Yeah, but
Speaker 3 the one that won
Speaker 3 might be speaking Tagalog.
Speaker 2 So it's fine.
Speaker 2 Let me ask you something.
Speaker 2 Can you just go back? Can you go back? Can you just go back? Can you go back to the Philippines and go, listen, guys? We're going to do one language. Yeah.
Speaker 2
Every island gets their own fucking language. No, it's so small anyway.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 Type this in. It's like Vermont, Michigan, all these states having a different language.
Speaker 2
Okay, is that close? Salamat saw Matat. Salamat is good.
Salamat, tell us how to say it.
Speaker 3 Salamat.
Speaker 2
Salamat. Salamat.
Salamat. Can you zoom in? My eyes are blurred.
Where you go. Salamat sai.
Pagingang masamangang
Speaker 2 kaibigang.
Speaker 2
Great. That's great.
So do that.
Speaker 2 And go. Go.
Speaker 3 Salamat sa pagiging. Masamang kai bigan.
Speaker 2 Great.