When the Plane Goes Down

1h 12m
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0:00 Rudy University Merch Announcement
1:19 Rudy doesn't want to have a nice moment with Bobby
5:52 Bobby's last two words on a plane crash
14:21 Rudy's bad attitude
17:20 Cheetos that taste like state
24:23 The Jenga champion and the magic from Shin Lim
35:06 Kissing Bradley Cooper
44:32 Bobby's experience at a mix sauna
48:26 Tanning your nuts
53:13 Andrew's favorite prank videos
59:20 Kevin Samuels gives the best relationship adviceMore Bobby Lee
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Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS
Podcast Producers: Andres Rosende & Pete Forthun
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Runtime: 1h 12m

Transcript

Speaker 1 Tito's handmade vodka is America's favorite vodka for a reason.

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Speaker 1 Make your next cocktail with Tito's, distilled and bottled by Fifth Generation Inc., Austin, Texas. 40% alcohol by volume, savor responsibly.

Speaker 2 Yo, what up, bad friends? Guess what? We got new merch, baby. Yes, the Rudy University Series.
This is the Rudy University shirt in black. We also got the gym shorts.

Speaker 2 We got gym shorts for you, the Rudy University gym shorts, and the Rudy University shirt in meroon. Meroon.

Speaker 2 So go to badfriendsmerch.com to snag those right now. Badfriendsmerch.com.
It's right down below. You know how to get it.
Snag this stuff before it all goes and sells out. Also, I'm on tour.

Speaker 2 AndrewSantino.com for those tickets. I'm going to be in Denver.
I'm going to be in Nashville. I'm going to Boston.
And we're adding 22 cities in two weeks.

Speaker 2 We'll be adding all of the cities I'm going to.

Speaker 2 But come see me, Denver, Nashville, Boston, and many, many more at andrewsantino.com. AndrewSantino.com.

Speaker 3 You two are bad friends.

Speaker 2 Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 2 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 2 We're bad friends. I just got off an airplane.
I just got in from Houston. Yeah!

Speaker 2 Pretty good, dude. Sold out.
Sold out. Four shows and Houston.
Did you meet Raymond yet?

Speaker 2 Did you meet Raymond? Who's Raymond? He's the general manager, all of them over there.

Speaker 2 No, I didn't meet a GM. So when we were driving here, this is what Jules goes.
Jules goes.

Speaker 2 We had a really nice moment because we're driving and she goes,

Speaker 2 Toota Puppy, I go, what? Can you play American Pie?

Speaker 2 Can you play American Pie? Oh, the song American Pie

Speaker 2 Pie. Really? So I'm driving, and I'm like, you know, I mean, trying to find it.
Yeah. We park.
I finally have it on.

Speaker 2 Right? And I go,

Speaker 2 the music starts playing. Bye.
You know, I don't want to sing it because I want to get flagged, but like. Now you can sing it if it's original.
Go ahead. Do your version.
Bye-bye, Mr. American Pie.

Speaker 2 Yep. Right? Drove me.

Speaker 2 And I'm kind of like dancing a little bit.

Speaker 2 And she's sitting there and I'm like, this could be a moment.

Speaker 2 between you guys yeah like a cool summer moment where you know and we're we're listening to a song that she requested and her uncle you know and my niece we're just having a moment yeah and she goes let's go inside and there's waiting and i go no let's have a moment no i don't want to right and that and i go we're finishing the song right so we sit there and i'm trying to get the song and she does not want to have a moment with me why don't you want to have a moment with tito because we're late no you weren't late Well, you were already late.

Speaker 2 It didn't matter. So at that point, just enjoy it.
Do you not like having moments with him? Is that what it is? Are you scared of having a really nice, sweet moment? No, I'm okay with it.

Speaker 2 All right, well, let's have one right now. I want you to look him in the face right now and say, Tito Bobby, I love and respect you.
You mean the world to me.

Speaker 2 And then we're going to play American Pie. You can't play it, huh? We can play it in the same way.
You sing your own version. Okay, ready for

Speaker 2 the sky. Turn on the radio.
So say,

Speaker 2 tell me to play the song.

Speaker 4 Tito Bobby, can you play American Pie?

Speaker 1 Excuse me, sweetheart.

Speaker 2 Which is what I would not say. My lovely sweetheart, excuse me.

Speaker 2 Can you play American Pie? Oh, sweetheart. My love.

Speaker 2 I'll play it.

Speaker 2 Play.

Speaker 2 Bye, bye, Miss American Pie. Drove my shabby to the levy, but the baby was dry.
Hem good old boys were drinking. Got some whiskey and she has hanging on my grain.

Speaker 2 Don't do that with your face. Let's have them all.

Speaker 2 This will be the day that I die

Speaker 2 okay good that yeah

Speaker 2 it's not working why don't you why don't you want to participate and have a moment with him you know he's getting older and he thinks about this stuff my parents do this too they're getting older and they want to soak up these moments because they're fleeting yeah you only got seriously think about this

Speaker 2 you have 30 summers left that's it maybe even less probably 20 summers isn't that crazy it's crazy 20 summers 20 and when i look in the mirror now yeah i go i literally think oh you're dying you're dying like I could see

Speaker 2 the bags on my eyes and the wrinkles and the liver spots forming. Right.
And I could just see when I get up, I go, oh, I have to make a noise. Ah, my knees, you know, my back, right?

Speaker 2 So it's like, I'm dying. He's dying.
And you, you don't want to have a fucking moment with me? Why not, Rude?

Speaker 2 I don't know. I'm tired.
She's tired. She's tired.
You're tired a lot. Yeah, she's tired.
You know, she's tired. I get why she's tired because

Speaker 2 she died a busy day today. She saw a black widow.
Oh.

Speaker 2 And?

Speaker 2 That's it. That's it.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
That's it? I'm so tired. That was your day? Yeah.
Oh, cool. I flew from Houston.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Then I got home, had to make dinner, clean up the house, and do my laundry, and then I got here on time. So shut up.
Yeah. Black widow.
Black widow. How did you like it, though?

Speaker 2 It was good, wasn't it? I heard it was good. What was it?

Speaker 2 It was the biggest box office. Top to the bottom.
Top to the bottom of the box office.

Speaker 2 You know what I also saw

Speaker 2 last night, which I didn't want to like. I finished manifest, by the way.

Speaker 2 Did you see the whole season? I did not. I didn't.
I just couldn't get through what I couldn't get through. How many episodes did you get in?

Speaker 2 Five? Yeah. Six? I don't even know.
Yeah, I know. Look at me.
Let him go. No.
Yeah. I can't.
Break it. You know what I mean? There was a moment where I was like,

Speaker 2 is this a bit? No. Can you make me watch this as a bit? I'm on the plane watching Manifest.

Speaker 2 It's good in a bad way. It's like what Lost was.
But

Speaker 2 Lost was pretty. Lost was kind of good.
Lost had good moments.

Speaker 2 You know what's weird when you're watching a plane crash on the airplane? Because people look over at you watching people

Speaker 2 on a plane crash on it on it. Or like a plane moment.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like

Speaker 2 when the turbulence and the lights go out, and the guy looked next to me and looked at him, and I was like, ooh.

Speaker 2 I always thought, because we fly a lot, and I always think to myself, this is the one. This is the one.
And then, like, I've had turbulence where it was really bad. Me too.

Speaker 2 And I'm always thinking, like, if

Speaker 2 we were really soaring down and they lost complete control, like the engine is

Speaker 2 right, and the lights are going off and people are screaming. What I would do?

Speaker 2 What would I do? What would you do? I don't think I would scream. I've asked this before.
I say if you could only yell out, if you could yell out two words,

Speaker 2 what would your two words be? Suck on. Suck on? Yeah, yeah, suck on.
Suck on.

Speaker 2 Because I'd probably see a hot chick. Right.
Sucking her going down. And I think that cheating at that point, I'm dying.
Right. And you think she's going to undo her seatbelt and be like, okay.

Speaker 2 Maybe. I don't know.
But it's like, I would probably eye out. I always eye out the hottest chicken thing, right? So if she's like five rows behind behind me, right?

Speaker 2 I'd probably turn around and go, suck on, right? Suck on. And she goes, okay.

Speaker 2 Right? We would be like, it would be difficult.

Speaker 2 It would be difficult.

Speaker 2 And then I would pull it down, right? And we're like trying to

Speaker 2 balance, right?

Speaker 2 I mean, I'm not trying to be aggressive, but I would have to grab her head. I mean, I guess because the plane is moving at the same time,

Speaker 2 hold myself, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Right. And then as she's doing it, the plane would level out, right? And I'd just be like...
Sorry about that, folks. That was just a little bit of turbulence there.
But then would you.

Speaker 2 I hope nobody has their dick out and they yelled suck on in the middle of that crash. But would you tell your girlfriend? Yeah, you'd have to.
I don't think so. Because you almost died.

Speaker 2 Because I didn't come. Oh, right.
Okay. Then yeah, then.

Speaker 2 yeah i didn't come so i think if i came that's the rules that's the rule right that's the rules yeah yeah if you're in a dying situation but then other people probably two or three people on the plane maybe recognize me do you think yes a couple of people i think it's you yeah so i think they would say something right that's kind of like those people that are you know there might be people trapped in that building in florida you know they had to go look

Speaker 2 but can you imagine this is sad and weird and gross nightmare but imagine you're trapped for like two days nightmare and you know you're gonna die yeah you don't know know if they're going to save you.

Speaker 2 Do you ever just, you think somebody just rubs one out? This is last go?

Speaker 2 Don't you want one last nut? You're like, I'm not going to let you get away with this.

Speaker 2 Look, I'm trapped underneath rocks.

Speaker 2 And I'm just

Speaker 2 yelling help for two days.

Speaker 2 Even if my hands were pinned,

Speaker 2 you would just rub it. I would still rub it.
I'd find like a fucking pipe sticking out, and I would try to get my dick in the pipe.

Speaker 2 Right. And I would just do like 15 pumps.
I would doubt it.

Speaker 2 And they would find my body with my dick. With your dick in a pipe.
In a pipe, but with a smile on my face. Yeah.
Yeah. I think you'd want to go, you'd want one more nut.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 But what, like, I thought about that when Franco was in that 127 hours or whatever. I would have fucked a crack.
You'd have fucked a crack. You would have fucked a crack?

Speaker 2 Yeah, you'd have fucked a crack. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's interesting to me. Like, if you're trapped, if you're trapped and you know you're going to die, because the chances of getting out are almost non-existent.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Maybe you want one more. Let's say you're pinned underneath the thing.
Yeah, right? Yeah, pinned. And you have your left hand, right? Yeah.
And there's a girl next to you.

Speaker 2 That's how I'm gonna end. I'm gonna end there.
No, that's not what I was gonna say. Oh, what were you gonna say? Are you okay? Yo, are you gonna tap her to see if she was fine?

Speaker 2 Yeah, Pat Tap her to say, Are you okay? Are you alive? And she'd be dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What are your last two words on a plane, Jules? It's going down. Bamp, bamp, bamp,

Speaker 2 going down. And it's, oh no, everyone's freaking out.
And then, Jules, you get to yell out.

Speaker 4 When I yell, I usually say, Mama.

Speaker 2 Mama!

Speaker 2 And then. Jules killed a man.

Speaker 2 You yell, mama, some guy in the back goes, ooh!

Speaker 2 Mama!

Speaker 2 Ooh!

Speaker 2 That would be hilarious. Pilot's like, didn't mean to make you cry.

Speaker 2 And everyone sings Bohemian Rhapsody. That would be so cool.
That'd be cool. What a cool way to go out.
That's a cool way to go out. Rez It's Crashing.

Speaker 2 That's cool. You would start a song.
You would start a song. That's amazing.
I love that. What song else could you start? On a plane like that? Well, you know what?

Speaker 2 It's got to be.

Speaker 2 You know, like the song they play at the stupid Red Sox games is Sweet Caroline. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Ba-ba-ba. You know.
Yeah. Sweet, Caroline.
I mean, it'd be embarrassing if you're flying, you think, I'm going to start a song. We're dying.
And you try. And you go, sweet, and no one says anything.

Speaker 2 And you're just kind of like, oh, that's a bummer. You go, sweet, Caroline.
And everyone's like,

Speaker 2 it's so dark. Dude, you know what? But every time I fly, every time I fly into Burbank,

Speaker 2 it's so sketchy. The runways are this big, and they have to barrel down.
And this time we landed on the left wheel, and then the right wheel went down, and everyone went like this.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Like you feel it, dude.
Let me ask you this.

Speaker 2 When you're sitting, you know how when you sit down in the emergency exit row and the, I'm not doing a hacky joke, but I'm just like a stewardess comes up to you and he says, in the case of emergency, are you going to be able to help?

Speaker 2 Yeah. And you always go, yes, yes, of course.
But you know deep down inside you're not. I'm never going to help.
Because I don't know how it works. No, first of all, I'm opening it up.

Speaker 2 I don't know how any of the levers work or anything like that. I'm pulling it up and I'm running out by myself.
But is that all you do is pull it up? Yep, I'm leaving everybody behind me.

Speaker 2 I feel like there's three or four things you have to do with that door.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, I think, yeah, yeah, there's no way.

Speaker 2 No, it's that big lever cracks open and the door swings sideways and pushes out and it's off.

Speaker 2 I would just run.

Speaker 2 Well, if I was in the emergency exit road, I would be passed out and I'd just be a blockage, I think.

Speaker 2 Sir. Yeah, they'd have to hop over my body.
It'd be a whole like, you know what I mean? That's an extra thing. That's an extra thing to have to deal with on the way out.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but you don't sit by the exit row anymore. You're a rich guy.
You sit in first class, baby.

Speaker 2 But that only started in the last couple of years. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 Because before, it's like, I don't,

Speaker 2 I don't want to say, but my manager's like cheap. Yeah.
They book the flights for you. My manager books the flights.
Oh, still to the sweetie. It's just, you know, it's a 300 flight.

Speaker 2 So just do middle seat southwest.

Speaker 2 And I'd be always like, all right. Yeah.
Yeah. The worst was when You never chose your own flights and shit? Dude, that's like my nightmare.
Here's where it ended. So this is a true story.

Speaker 2 So I did the Oddball

Speaker 2 Comedy Festival. San Francisco.
No. Wasn't it in San Francisco? I did the Texas run.
Oh. So it was me,

Speaker 2 Sebastian Malaskako, Allie Wong, Tom Segura, a bunch of people, right? Wow. Gang Cook.
Wow. And

Speaker 2 we're all supposed to book our own flights. So I have the manager who I have.
So we all are flying out in Burbank to Texas, but we're all at the airport. Yeah.

Speaker 2 All the managers got their clients first class.

Speaker 2 Except for you. Wow.
So they get in first,

Speaker 2 and now I'm sitting there like I'm also zone three or four. You're the back of the plane.
Yeah, I'm the back of the plane, right? You're not even gonna get it.

Speaker 2 And I'm just like, like, literally thinking, should I fire my manager? Right?

Speaker 2 And then as I walk through fucking first class, these guys start throwing fucking shit at my face. That's so funny.
It's so funny. Segura in those guys? Oh, yeah.
They start pillows.

Speaker 2 and they're like, boo, you see what I mean? Get back. You're like yelling, get back to your boss.
You little immigrant. You know what I mean? And like just acting a fool.

Speaker 2 And so I'm back there and each one of them through the flight would go back there and throw me like

Speaker 2 peanuts

Speaker 2 or stuff that they got in the first class. That's so mean.
It's so mean, but it was so funny. But that's big props because

Speaker 2 you, Bobby Lee, would do that absolutely to somebody else. If we were on the same flight and I went past you, you would totally fuck with me.
Yes, you would. It'd be so fun.
Yes, you would.

Speaker 2 It'd be so fun. But you'd fuck with me.
So then, after that, I got back in town, I said to Abby, I go,

Speaker 2 I just think we can do sometimes first class. Yeah.
Especially in that situation, it's like. If you're flying as much as we fly, yeah, I get that.
By the way, when we go to Cancun,

Speaker 2 when we do Bad Friends at Cancun,

Speaker 2 does she get first class?

Speaker 2 That's a big thing. That's a big discussion.
They're paying for it.

Speaker 2 I know, but they're asking us what flights we want

Speaker 2 and where we want to sit. So do we put her in the first?

Speaker 2 Have you flown first class?

Speaker 2 I think when

Speaker 2 Bob.

Speaker 4 No, we went to Seattle and it was first class.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, I put you in first class. Yeah.
You did? Yeah. That's very nice of you.
Man, you keep doing nice stuff for this chick. I know.
She doesn't want to have moments with me. It's crazy.

Speaker 2 And you don't want to have a moment in the car where he wants to sing one song.

Speaker 2 No. You know what? That right there? You're not getting in first class on the way to Cancun.
And Cancun is not a close flight, by the way. Yeah.
That's a nice little trip.

Speaker 2 And in fact, when we land in the airport, you're going to find your own way right home. That's right.
That's what I'll tell you. Yeah, so start learning Spanish right now.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, how do you say, how do you say, take me to the resort in Spanish? You know how? Well, you better learn it, kiddo, because you're going to be on your own.

Speaker 2 Since that Tuesday she performed, she's got a little. Oh, she's getting cocky.
I knew it, dude.

Speaker 2 I could feel that she was getting a little bit because she walked in here and she kind of sloughed her way in and she goes, same studio, huh? Yeah, that's what she said. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Like it's a like it's old news to her. And like one of the dogs is her dogs.

Speaker 2 Yeah, one of the dogs is her dog.

Speaker 2 She's like the primary yeah and this fucking duck's shitting all over the house and she doesn't she doesn't and now no she used to but now i have to clean it really she's like

Speaker 2 with her finger oh she she waggles it

Speaker 2 you got a lot of nerve

Speaker 2 yeah yeah you got a lot of nerve and then you know what she also did

Speaker 2 which

Speaker 2 literally was the most horrifying thing

Speaker 2 I've ever seen in my life in terms of like my body reacting to it. Yeah.
I got goosebumps. I'm not kidding you.
From the top of my head to my toes.

Speaker 2 I cringed and I almost kind of yelped. So I'm in the backyard smoking.
You know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 And so I put the cigarette out, and there's a gigantic,

Speaker 2 not gigantic, but a mid-sized metallic trash bin with a lid on it. Right.
So I put out the cigarette and I always put the butts in there.

Speaker 2 So I lifted it up, and there was probably, oh my God, there was probably

Speaker 2 200,000

Speaker 2 maggots. Ew.
I know. Crawling up this thing.
What did you do?

Speaker 2 I don't, and then

Speaker 2 dog vomit.

Speaker 2 Oh my god.

Speaker 2 Dog vomit. Who threw dog vomit in? You did.
Yeah. Yeah.
And the maggots were all over that. Oh, dude, you got to hose that out, kid.

Speaker 4 We already sprayed it with

Speaker 4 insecticide spray, so.

Speaker 2 Okay, that probably does work.

Speaker 2 I guess. Water that you're going to water it? I hose it out.

Speaker 2 Whenever the dog pukes, I just hose out the doggy. Oh, yeah, no, yeah.
But when you have maggots, what do you do? I have never had that situation ever. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 But like when the dog throws up in the yard, I just break out the hose and hose it out. Not her.
She clumps it together, leaves it open,

Speaker 2 and puts it in the hot summer sun. I put it in plastic.

Speaker 2 If you find maggots in food or trash, you can boil them and the eggs together to kill them. Boil them?

Speaker 2 Who's taking the maggots inside? Another option is to thoroughly sprinkle them with salt or spray them with insecticide. You did it.
Boil. You can boil them and the eggs to kill them.

Speaker 2 Well, that's for the Filipinos because they eat them after. Is that how you guys want it? Do you guys eat maggots? No!

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 Funky overseas stuff. Oh, dude, look at this.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I got this sent to me.

Speaker 2 This is real. Cheetos that taste like steak.
From where?

Speaker 2 This is all Japanese steak. Open it up.
Let's see if it tastes. I'll see if it tastes like it.
Let's try one. Have you eaten one of these yet? No, this just came in to me today.

Speaker 2 This is from a guy who sent them to me. Steak Cheetos.

Speaker 2 This is a guy named Sunny Hill Exotics, and he sent me all this stuff. Look at this.
Yeah, yeah. Oreo Thin's vanilla mousse.
That sounds good, right?

Speaker 2 You've had these pink Kit Kats from Japan, right?

Speaker 2 These are the best.

Speaker 2 Does it taste like steak?

Speaker 2 Let me see.

Speaker 2 We got to give some commentary. People don't want to hear you chew for three minutes.
No, we'll go.

Speaker 2 Well, give me the bag.

Speaker 2 Can I have the bag so we can, Jules can have some and I can? Can I be honest with you? Yeah. Here's my commentary.
Give it. It tastes like Doritos if they just put some salt on it.

Speaker 2 It doesn't have a steak taste at all? Not to me, no.

Speaker 2 Not even a little bit. No.

Speaker 2 I mean, I had steak for dinner. Maybe that's what it is.
Be honest. Steak?

Speaker 2 No, but they're good. They're very good.
It's not steak. Yeah, it's not steak, but it's good.
What is it, though? It kind of tastes like... Let's try another one.
This one is. Let's see.
This one is.

Speaker 2 What is that? That's who can read that? That's.

Speaker 2 What's the symbol? What's the symbol? You can't really tell.

Speaker 2 I'll be able to. You're Asian.
You should be able to know what it is. That symbol is.
Do you like it? That symbol is pork. No? It looks like pork.
That's what I thought it was. I think it's pork.

Speaker 2 You do? Yeah, yeah. Try that one.
Open that one.

Speaker 2 And this one is. This one is.

Speaker 2 See, it says made with real beef. These are made with beef.

Speaker 2 Is that one good?

Speaker 2 Oh my God. It's terrible.
It's bad?

Speaker 2 But kind of good.

Speaker 2 Honestly? Yeah. These will fuck you up.
Why?

Speaker 2 Because you don't know what it is. I know.
Because I don't know what that symbol is. Right, that could be freaking

Speaker 2 dog testicles that you're eating right now.

Speaker 2 Let's see. This is pork.
No.

Speaker 2 That's good. I like it.
You do? No. I hate it.
It's gross, but it's good. No, it's not good.
Let the flavor hit. Yeah, no, it's the bass is.
Yeah, yeah, I don't like it. Maybe that went bad.

Speaker 2 It went bad. Give me.

Speaker 2 This is Jolly Rancher Misfits. And look at this.
These Oreo wafer roll sticks. Okay, what do you want? You want this one? This is real beef.
This says it's made with real beef. You want

Speaker 2 made with real beef, dude. Give me the fucking.

Speaker 2 Made with real beef. Just because it says it doesn't mean it's true.
Of course it does. Everything is true if it's printed.

Speaker 2 Everything is true if it's printed. No, but you could it could be soaked in like some sort of

Speaker 2 you know pork broth. No, it says made with real beef crane cranberry ginger ale.
Okay, give me the sweet stuff. Which one? These

Speaker 2 Jolly Ranchers? Misfits. Gummies.

Speaker 2 Yeah, this guy sent me this stuff. When we were in Japan, did you like these? It's okay.
Did you like the first one? I like the second one. You like this one better? You can keep here.
Keep them.

Speaker 3 No? I would like to kit cat.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you want a Kit Kat?

Speaker 2 These are fucking, dude. These are fucking amazing.
Bob. I'll eat one later.
Chime! You know, when I was younger,

Speaker 2 I was terrible at banking. I was confused.
So bad.

Speaker 2 Overdraft charges. Yeah, I just didn't know how to handle my money.
I didn't know how to manage it. And also, no one was there to help.
But Chime understands that every dollar counts.

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Speaker 2 Hydro. I got it.
You? They gave me one. I got one at the house.
I love it so very much. It's incredible.
And I'm rowing in the morning and it wakes me up and gets me juiced. Well, what is it?

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Speaker 1 I am so excited for this spa day.

Speaker 2 Candles lit, music on, hot tub warm and ready.

Speaker 6 And then my chronic hives come back.

Speaker 1 Again, in the middle of my spa day, what a wet blanket.

Speaker 6 Looks like another spell of itchy red skin.

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Speaker 2 Cavites.

Speaker 2 But that condo collapse.

Speaker 2 Look,

Speaker 2 let me talk about homework. Let me get the side of my mouth.

Speaker 2 I wasn't making a joke about the condo collapse. That's sad.
Okay. That's very sad.

Speaker 2 It's a nightmarish. It's sad.
But also, I have thought about because sometimes when I go skiing

Speaker 2 and I go off by myself, if I do a couple of runs solo, I genuinely get scared that I'm like, what if I got an avalanche? And then what am I going to do? Yeah.

Speaker 2 What do you do?

Speaker 2 They can't find you for days and days. You're just sitting there.
What do you do? But the condo thing is, I'm just going to ask you this. I don't think that, isn't there any way to get that shit?

Speaker 2 Like, because, you know, they did a search and rescue for, what, over a week. Yeah.
Right?

Speaker 2 And if I was literally, if my brother or you or anybody was in that rubble, I'd just be like, get the cranes in there. Let's go.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I think it's not as easy as that because if you move one piece, another piece falls. It's like Jenga.
You're playing like Django. The best Django fucking players in the world.

Speaker 2 Who's the best Jenga player in the world? Look that up. Yeah, yeah.
Get him out there.

Speaker 2 Get the best Jenga kid out there. It's kind of like how the Japanese kids with the Rubik's Cube.
You know, there's guys that can do it in like May 13th at his home in Pima County, Arizona.

Speaker 2 Ty Star Valentinio officially best at his own world record for most Jenga blocks. Get Ty.
So get Ty. So we call up Ty Star Valentine.

Speaker 2 Condo Collapse. Call Ty.
That's what I'd say as a police. Yeah.
Call Ty. Ty shows up, right? Yeah.
And he goes, all right, remove that piece first. And he labels them.
He goes, A6, B7.

Speaker 2 Right, right, right. H6, H6.

Speaker 2 They can go, are you sure? It's like the probability is 90 to 8% that that's supporting him.

Speaker 2 He's like a beautiful mind. He's doing the math.

Speaker 2 There's got to be people out there like that. This guy,

Speaker 2 Ty Star Valentiani. This brings me up to the most embarrassing that happened to me two days ago.
I wasn't even going to bring it up. I'm going to bring it up.

Speaker 2 It's that

Speaker 2 I don't know if you guys know, but I'm obsessed with magic. Yeah.
All right. I love magic.
And I love my favorite magician nowadays is a kid by the name of Shin Lim. Shin Lim.
Yeah. He's the best.

Speaker 2 Where is he from? He won not just America's Got Talent, but he also won the.

Speaker 2 Oh, I just know this guy. Right.
Yeah. So I'm with Howie Mandel two days ago.
Yeah. And I'm like, you know,

Speaker 2 if I have a wedding, I want, you know, my dream would have Shin Lim help me with the proposal. Do like a magic proposal? Magic proposal.
Oh, that's cool. Right.

Speaker 2 And Towie goes, oh, he's a good friend of mine. Oh, that's cool.
He's like, and you guys are like, he's Asian. He definitely knows who you are.
You guys are like Asian.

Speaker 2 You guys are Asian, so he'll definitely be who you are. Yeah.
And in my head, I just assumed he would know me. I don't know why.
Because it's Asian, yeah.

Speaker 2 Right, you would think, right, if another red-headed guy that he knows me, he knows me. No doubt.
No doubt. If he's a comedian, he knows me.
Exactly. Yeah.
He's we're both performing. Entertainment.

Speaker 2 Yeah. He knows me.
He knows you. And so Howie hands me the phone first.
Oh, you're face to be. Because he doesn't have Howie's number.
They got his number from somebody else.

Speaker 2 So it's like, it's not as if when he called, it says Howie Mendel. It says Howie Mandel, right? Right.
He face, he picks up the FaceTime, and I'm like, hey.

Speaker 2 And he's like,

Speaker 2 no, who are you?

Speaker 2 He had no idea. Yeah, and I go,

Speaker 2 I'm a comedian. He's like, no, don't know.
Is he flipping cards the whole time?

Speaker 2 No, he's doing his own Vegas show in The Mirage.

Speaker 2 Right, he's a residency. He's a residency.
Right, right. He's like a big star.
He's huge. So then Howie takes the phone.
Me, it's me, Howie. But I'm now blushing.
Yeah, you feel like shit.

Speaker 2 I feel like shit. Right, you look like me.
It's bright orange. Yeah, yeah.
Now I don't even want to.

Speaker 2 Now you don't want to go see him. No.
Let's go see him in Vegas.

Speaker 2 He said he'd give me back safe pass of course he would now that that embarrassing moment happened now he has to make up for i know but have you seen this guy perform i saw him on agt i saw this this guy is so good yeah his stuff i mean it's it's

Speaker 2 listen you can see like because i know pennjillette and it's like you go to youtube and you see like you know um magic revealing videos yeah like they crack the code they crack the code but a lot of the shit that he does they can't even they don't know how he does it well that was like penn and teller had a show called uh fool us or something like that no that's and Shin did that.

Speaker 2 Oh, he did that show. He did that show, and he filled them twice.
Two times, yeah. And then Penn just called me a week ago.
He wants me on the show. He wants you on the show.

Speaker 2 Like a guest judge or something. On the Fool Us or whatever.
What is the show called? Is it called? It's called Fool Us. I think it's called Fool Us.

Speaker 2 So let's link up with Shin. Let's get Shin.
Let's get Shin. Let's go to Vegas and go watch the show.
And then we should be like, I've been figuring out how to do it. I've been itching to go to Vegas.

Speaker 2 Me too. I want to go.
It's open. You know what she said too? Huh? Her dream is to go to Vegas and go to clubs.

Speaker 4 It's not a dream. I just want to do it.

Speaker 2 It's a reality. Let's go.
We can do 2021.

Speaker 4 Next year.

Speaker 2 Yeah, next one. What month do you again? November, right? What if Shin Lim is the door guy in Vegas and we walk up? He's like, I don't know who you are.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 That'd be embarrassing. Door guys know who we are.

Speaker 2 They're listening. Even today,

Speaker 2 if I go on the road, right, even before the pandemic, right? And I'll be know, at a restaurant or something after a show, like a late night, and some guy will go, hey, there's a club, man.

Speaker 2 It's like, you want to go? Right?

Speaker 2 Because I'm going to meet a bunch of people there. I strictly, I don't want to go because I might, I, the biggest, my biggest fear in the world is not being recognized.
No, not be able to get in.

Speaker 2 But they'll set it up so you get in. And that happens, like, we went to that, that, remember that Ramen place, right, called Jinya? Yeah, I love Jinya, right? Right? One, the other, right?

Speaker 2 Last week, we tried to go, and they're like, no.

Speaker 2 You thought they were going to notice you and be like, oh, we have a lot of people. Yeah, but they're like, no.
Yeah, but

Speaker 2 with Vegas, you just pay for it in advance, so it's all good. And that no,

Speaker 2 it rings in my head. I know.
Okay. All night long.
Well, here's what I say. I just hear, no, no, no.
No. No.
Let's get the palm. Let's get the hotel.

Speaker 2 Let's get the room at the palm where it has the pool, you know, that goes out over the...

Speaker 2 Let's do it. Let's do it.
Let's take a private jet. And you know who will pay for it? What? George.
Their company. That's right.
Their company. But you know what I love to do? They produce this.

Speaker 2 We can get Shin Limit. We can get that.
Shin Lim tickets. We can see Penn and Teller because they're my friends now.
VIP. Right.
VIP of Penn and Teller. Carrot Top.

Speaker 2 You know Carrot? You must. We all know each other.
Okay, good. So you and Carrot, right?

Speaker 2 Can you call him Carrot or Tom? I can. I can.
You can't. I have to call him Carrot Top.
You say CT or Carrot. Right, right.
I can call him Carrot. Right.
So, do you really please?

Speaker 2 Because whenever I see him, I've seen him five times in my life. I always say Carrot Top.
You have to say. And it's weird to say the the whole thing.
What's up, Carrot Top? Have to. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 You can't say Carrot. What's his first name? Spionk.
No, what's his real name? I have no idea.

Speaker 2 I've never known his real name. Because I love it when you see a famous person that has a different name, but they're like, call me by Scott.
Yeah, call me by my real name.

Speaker 2 It is weird when he's like, hey, I'm Scott. And you're like, you're a Carrot Top.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? No, you're not. Your name is not Scott.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 That is funny that I assume you assume that that other person, their real name, it doesn't exist anymore. Yeah, it's like that guy that did our show, Chad.
Yeah, Chad. That's his real name.

Speaker 2 I know it's not. It's Tom.
Yeah, Chad and JT. And he goes,

Speaker 2 when I first met him a couple weeks ago, he was like, just call me Tom. I go, no, it's Chad now, for life.
It has to be. It has to be.

Speaker 2 I'm not calling Edge anything else. No.
It's the Edge.

Speaker 2 Sting is the Sting for life. Bono is Bono for life.
What is Sting's real name? I don't even know. No one cares.
That's insane. Isn't that funny? Yeah.
At some point,

Speaker 2 what's Sting's real name? Let's take a guess. Hold on.

Speaker 2 What's Sting's real name? Leonard.

Speaker 2 Leonard? Yeah. That's such a good guess.
What? Adam. Adam? I'm going to say it's Robert.
British. Maybe.
Yeah. British.

Speaker 2 Sting's a fun name. I don't know these names.

Speaker 2 Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner. Yeah, it's Gordon.
What's CBE? That's when you get,

Speaker 2 you know, is that when you get knighted by the Queen? No, he has probably like a CBD company that.

Speaker 2 Right. Marijuana.
What is CBE?

Speaker 2 that's when you get knighted right you put CB you're allowed to put CBE at the end of your so what's Prince's real name do you know Prince's real name was um

Speaker 2 Marcus or something like Marcus what was it I don't know what do you think I want to go for

Speaker 2 dude this is real Marlon Marlon okay Marcus Marlon what's Prince's real name Michael Michael Michael Marlon

Speaker 2 what's Prince's real name his real name is Prince Prince Rogers Nelson you know how dope that is? His real name is Prince. That's pretty dope.
Cool. That's why that guy was so cool.

Speaker 2 His parents birthed him into being cool. And he was so androgynously cool.
Like, he wasn't gay. He wasn't straight.

Speaker 2 He wasn't a guy. He wasn't a girl.
Bro. He wasn't black.
He wasn't white. I went to some NBC.

Speaker 2 I was maybe the Out Fronts or something like that where it was like at a bar.

Speaker 2 He wasn't.

Speaker 2 And the bar was attached to another bar. So the only way to get to this other bar is through the shitty bar that I was in.
So annoying. Right? Yeah.
So he walked through with his entourage.

Speaker 2 And I'm like sitting there with,

Speaker 2 there's a bunch of celebrities in the room, right? Like big TV stars and whatnot, right?

Speaker 2 As soon as he walked in, the music stopped. You could hear no sound in the bar.
Silent. And people just went

Speaker 2 like silent. Like somebody had died.
And he's just kind of walking through, and everyone's just kind of looking on the ground. How smooth did he walk? Oh my God.

Speaker 2 It it was just like he was he didn't have the legs he floated he was floating he was like shifting yeah through the room yeah he's going

Speaker 2 like that's this that's how he breathed

Speaker 2 that's how he breathed right and he just kind of floated it it felt like 10 minutes yeah like it was slow i remember just going like i was crying he started you started crying oh my god i was like my lips were trembling it's prince dude i was crying my lips trembling

Speaker 2 and he floating by and as soon as he left people just started talking about the trees.

Speaker 2 He came back on. I feel like that's what I'm held.

Speaker 2 Guys like him

Speaker 2 can stop anything. Everything.
Everything. I mean,

Speaker 2 I don't think you can have, no one has that kind of power anymore. Like the Beatles back in the day.
Well, that's different. We could stop the world.
The world.

Speaker 2 They could tell everyone to kill themselves. They could be like, we're all going to commit suicide on the 14th.
Everybody would. Yeah, there could be like, wow.

Speaker 2 It could be the first day of like some sort of marine training and people are like climbing the thing. as soon as a Beatles showed up They just would freeze

Speaker 2 on the fucking thing

Speaker 2 and it you know they would walk by and then they would keep going afterwards I mean they just have that kind of like essence power You know sometimes you do meet celebrities and they have that when I first was a PA Yeah, I met Bradley Cooper before he was Bradley Cooper Yeah, and he was kind of still like on the come up.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and I was a PA and I had to walk him to one of the executives offices And we get to the office and he was really really handsome and I walked him there and like he was really nice.

Speaker 2 He asked me my name and everything. And I said, okay, you're good in here.
And then nobody was in there.

Speaker 2 This guy's assistant was gone. And he goes, you want me to just wait in this empty room? I was like,

Speaker 2 I mean, you don't have to. You can go back.
We can go back to the front. And he's like, you have a kitchen? And we go to the kitchen.
And I'm not kidding.

Speaker 2 He's like, I just want to make something to eat real fast. And he opens the fridge and he takes out deli meat.

Speaker 2 like a piece of deli meat and he wraps it in a piece of cheese and he's just eating it talking to me but even him eating it was really sexy i was just like watching him eat a hand sandwich.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Brent Morin says the same thing about him. He's sexy, dude.
Brent Morin was working at Conan, remember? Remember Conan, yeah.

Speaker 2 And he ran into Bradley Cooper, and I guess Brent Morin, they were talking face to face, and he had the urge of just going,

Speaker 2 just going to kick him on the bottom. You know what I mean? Yeah, he was really,

Speaker 2 okay, so. He was hot, dude.
This is when I was shy and didn't know what to say. But if I had this opportunity, so it's not as big as...
Oh, my God, blow that image up.

Speaker 2 It's not as big as Bradley Cooper.

Speaker 2 So So when I was on Mad TV, we had a young actor, Ryan Reynolds. Oh, yeah.
Right. So Ryan Reynolds is sitting there with Dick Blessucci, right?

Speaker 2 Who's that? The executive producer. The executive producer of Mad.
And Dick goes, Bobby, sit here, meet Ryan.

Speaker 2 I didn't know who he was really much, right? But I just sat next to him, right?

Speaker 2 And I was just like, you don't know what to say. Like now? What are you going to say? Now,

Speaker 2 with who I am now,

Speaker 2 I would be having that guy's number in my phone in five minutes. Well, you'd be making jokes.
Yeah, yeah, I would be able to get him into my world in five minutes. But back then,

Speaker 2 yeah, it's so awkward. What's going on? Well, what was it? Like, I don't know what to say.
Think about it like this. You know, when someone comes up to you? Yeah.
And they say hello to you? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Right. And they don't know what to say because they're a fan.
Yeah. It's the same feeling.
Yeah. You know who came up to me today in the airport? Who? A pilot.
A pilot is walking.

Speaker 2 You know how they walk with the flight attendants? Two pilots are walking, the flight attendant, with two flight attendants. And he literally, we cross each other and he goes, Santino.

Speaker 2 And I turn like I know him. Yeah, I go, hey.
Yeah. And he goes, hey.
And I was like, I don't fucking know this guy. I have no.

Speaker 2 But he didn't know what to say. He just wanted to say hi.
And he goes, where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going? I love it.

Speaker 2 Where the fuck do you think on a plane? You make them feel comfortable, right? I try, but sometimes the energy is weird when people say hi and I don't know what to say. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, especially if they go, like this dude in the bar at the bar, this big, this big jack black dude in the bar, he goes, hey, are you that dude from Dave? And I was like, yeah.

Speaker 2 And he goes, yeah, I thought so

Speaker 2 What do I say?

Speaker 2 You don't know what to say. I just go, yeah.
You don't know what to say. It's me.
Yeah. Don't hurt me, I guess.
I hope you like it. Yeah.
Because what if somebody goes, hey, Bobby Lee, right?

Speaker 2 You're Bobby Lee? Black people do that to me. You know what they go? Yeah.
My dog. My dog.
And they'll give me a pound. Right.
And I'll go, oh, thank you. Like, I, because I want to go opposite.

Speaker 2 Right. I don't go, yeah.

Speaker 2 That would be weird. Yeah.
I just play to my fucking strengths and go, hey, what's up, buddy? Right. And they go, my dog.
My dog. I do a little pound.
That's all I do.

Speaker 2 You want to really put them in an awkward position? And they go, well, my dog, just bow and see what they do. Oh, let's react that.
My dog. What's up? Don't say my buddy.
No.

Speaker 2 All right. All right, go.
My dog.

Speaker 2 Not that. No.
Perfect. No, why? They would love it.
They go, this motherfucker's hilarious. Oh, yeah.
When they call you stupid. When black dudes call you stupid, that means they love you.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 When they go, he's stupid. They love you.
Yeah, it's, you know, I love

Speaker 2 black people. Yeah, well, I mean, especially comics, because

Speaker 2 I just have an angle with all of them.

Speaker 2 And it's. What do you mean? It's hard to explain.
I'm going to try to explain it. You're going to say like a minority angle? No.
What? It's a different.

Speaker 2 It's

Speaker 2 touching me for a little too long angle. What do you mean? Like, they touch like a bunch of people.
No, like if I see Ian Edwards or anybody, or I saw Finesse Metro the other day, right? Right.

Speaker 2 And they're happy.

Speaker 1 What's up, man?

Speaker 2 And I hug, right?

Speaker 2 And I hug enough until they pull away. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right. But you can tell, like, I'm bring him in, and they have to physically force their wear out.

Speaker 2 Black guys have a time limit on hugs. Time limit.
That's what it is. Yeah, a white guy.
You can hug and kiss me on the face and we'll laugh about it. I know, I know, I know.

Speaker 2 You can't do that to the black guys. And I love it.
Yeah, they got to push it. Because they go, ah,

Speaker 2 you're weird.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you know, like Donnell, oh my God.
Like, I'll like take my fingers. Like, if he's sitting there in the Mitzi's booth in the OR.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And he doesn't know I'm coming and he thinks I'm a girl. And I'll just lightly, in the back of his head, do this, right? And he'll be like, he thinks it's Whitney or something, right?

Speaker 2 And he'll be like, goddamn motherfucker, you're like, he'll like really get angry, right? Because he loved it at first. He thinks that like God is watching.

Speaker 2 And when he gets to the afterlife, he's going to be like, you had seven gay moments. Let's play them back.

Speaker 2 Like they saved all these times when something weird. But it's so funny.
Like whenever I have ever had like

Speaker 2 gay moments,

Speaker 2 you have to laugh them off.

Speaker 2 Like when I go, like when I go, Justin Mardale used to take us out to gay nightclubs and my penis would get grabbed.

Speaker 2 The amount of times I was sexually assaulted in a gay nightclub, every time I've gone out. Every time.
Just like grab my penis, and they pull on it like it's a yank chain from a toilet in England.

Speaker 2 They're like,

Speaker 2 they grab at your fucking dick and you just have to go,

Speaker 2 there's nothing you can do. I was at the Abbey.
Yeah. with my friend Mike, who's been there.
Right. We were at a table.

Speaker 2 And he knows eight of these dudes. Well, he's he's there.
Yeah, they all know each other. They all know each other, right? And they're having, right, drinks.

Speaker 2 I'm having a diet because I don't drink, right? And my knee, right, brushed up up against another guy's knee that's across me. I don't know.
Let's go. But you know that I have,

Speaker 2 what do you call it? Clubbed feet. OCD.
What? I have to touch things three times. Oh, yeah, OCD.
Yeah. So in my head, I'm like, I got to now brush my knee.

Speaker 2 I swear to God. Two more times against his leg.
Right?

Speaker 2 So I go, one,

Speaker 2 two.

Speaker 2 He thinks now. That's a signal.
Yeah, that like we're going to go fuck in the bathroom. Yeah, it's tapping under the skull.
So that he kind of like puts his hand on my knee like this. No.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 But what do you do? You have to let it go. No, I pulled away and he goes, he goes, excuse me.
And I go, excuse me. And he goes, he goes, and I go, oh, I'm not gay.
And he goes, I thought you were.

Speaker 2 Oh. No, I'm not, but

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. But it's like...
But you did end up.

Speaker 2 I blew him in the bathroom. You have to.

Speaker 2 You don't have a choice. Yeah, Yeah, yeah.
You did the knee thing. Once you did the knee thing.
The knee thing. Fuck me.

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Speaker 2 Rules and restrictions apply.

Speaker 2 Wait, I want to tell you something real fast before

Speaker 2 I went, there was a long line in the bathroom at the airport. This image was singing in my brain.
It was so hard to not start laughing. There's a long line, and everyone's doing this thing.

Speaker 2 When there's a line in the men's bathroom, they're like, did you check that stall? Because people have to pee so bad. They're like, because the stall doors are all closed.
So I'm not kidding.

Speaker 2 I'm not, I'm not fucking kidding. I'm second to go, and the guy in front of me is like really antsy.
And he goes and he's checking all the stall doors. Well, they're all red.

Speaker 2 They get green to red. They're all red.
They're all red. Yeah.
Well, one of the locks wasn't locked all the way. Oh, I've done it.
Dude, I'm not kidding.

Speaker 2 He opens it wide up, and the dude on the pooper goes down to grab his penis. Yeah.
And he just goes like this, I'm in here.

Speaker 2 I swear to God, I'm in here. And the guy goes, oh, and he closes the door.
And it's like,

Speaker 2 what else could he say? He didn't have to say anything. We see.
We see. I know, but what do you say? I open the door.
You're pooping. There's like 17 dudes staring at you now.
What do you say?

Speaker 2 I honestly, okay, so I'm pooping. You're pooping.
I swing open the door.

Speaker 2 That's it. Yeah.
What if I then go, oh, and then I walk in and just start peeing right between your legs? You gave me the nod. No, that'd be weird.
I'd pee right there. That would never happen.

Speaker 2 I'm going to piss on your chest and make it cascade right down you. Okay, okay.
That would never happen. If it did happen, then after that, every time that happened, I would say, hey, I'm in here.

Speaker 2 Hey, I'm in here. But at this point in my life,

Speaker 2 it's never happened before. What would you say if a girl opened the door and you were in there? If a woman opened the door in the stall and you're in the stall, what do you say?

Speaker 4 I wouldn't say anything.

Speaker 2 You just stare right at him? I just shut the door back. No, you can't.
It's too far away from you.

Speaker 2 It's not that close. He was in an airport, it's pushed back.

Speaker 4 I just stare. Stare at him.

Speaker 2 Okay. Okay.
How about this? How weird. I was in Germany.

Speaker 2 Maybe. Taking a shy.
20 years ago. Yeah.
I was doing a commercial there. Which one? It's an IBM commercial that they flew me all over the place.
Yeah, the one with

Speaker 2 the spaceboard.

Speaker 2 Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 Joe Pitka. Yeah.
So I was in Germany at a steam room.

Speaker 2 and I was the only one in there.

Speaker 2 So, I, there's like two levels, and at the Korean small where I'm at, where I go right now, I always go to the last level because there's no one ever in there, and I'll just stand there.

Speaker 2 You stand on top of the third level in the steam room and just stand there like this. Why do you do that? Why would you stand? I like it super hot, yeah, and you want to hit it.

Speaker 2 I want all the steam to be in every orifice of my body, yeah, so stand there like this, right?

Speaker 2 And then, three in Germany, I I did this. Three hot chicks walked completely naked.
It's mixed. No.
No. It's mixed.

Speaker 2 So I was like, huh?

Speaker 2 Were they like the smallest dick in the steam room? Were they cool with it? No, they were just like, what the fuck is this little Asian guy? What's the stash? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 It must have been like, I thought it was a gargoyle, a part of the ambiance. Yeah, yeah.
Jose included a gargoyle inside his face.

Speaker 2 I don't know if that's true now, but back in the day, 20 years ago, it was mixed. Like you would have old old ladies and everyone would be naked.

Speaker 2 It wasn't a problem. It was kind of harmonious.
I did spec. Have you ever been to a nude beach?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. Once you go to a nude beach, one, once you kind of understand who goes to nude beaches, it's never

Speaker 2 good-looking people. Yeah, it's never the ones you want.
But it is always old dudes with long penises.

Speaker 2 They're always long. They may not be thick, but they're long penises.
Yeah, and gray. Long and gray.
Yeah. Gray penises.
Long and gray. Because I got to put zinc on it so it doesn't get sunburnt.

Speaker 2 You think that Beatles song? The long and winding road.

Speaker 2 I'm serious, though. Do you have to put sunscreen on your penis? Yeah.
Would you ever go to a nude beach? No. Why not? Do you feel self-conscious? You don't have to get naked at the beach.

Speaker 2 You know that, right? Yeah. Like,

Speaker 2 I went and you don't have to be naked. Oh, then I can go.
Right. So you want to see people naked at the beach.
Yeah. She's getting curious.
Like, when I go to nude beach, I'm wearing armor.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like battalion outfit. I'm wearing a sweater.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm wearing a jumpsuit when I go to a nude beach. I don't ever like to.
I also, the idea of your wiener in the sun is weird to me.

Speaker 2 Why do you want your penis isn't supposed to have sun all over it? Well, it makes you, but I heard who told me this.

Speaker 2 Somebody told me that they tan their nuts. They tan their nuts? Yeah, they every day they'll spend an hour in the sun, but they'll put their nuts in the sun, and it makes it more

Speaker 2 virile. No way.
Yeah. Look that up.
Type in testicles in the sun. Type in testicles in the sun.
Let me go on like a testy in the sun.

Speaker 2 Testicles in the sun. Testicle sunning, boosting testosterone, sunbathing your balls.
That's what I'm telling you. Somebody told me that.
Boosting your testosterone by sunbathing your balls. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's right. Testicle sunning or sunning your balls.
Not to be confused with the viral trend of butthole sunning, which is what I was talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was talking about nuts.

Speaker 2 The practice of exposing your testicles to direct sunlight. You're going to be doing it tomorrow morning.
I'm doing it tomorrow morning. I'm going to send you video.
Can I come with you? 100%.

Speaker 2 Come by. I'm going to sit up by the pool and do it.
Tan our nuts to it. Tan our nuts.

Speaker 2 How would you do it, though? What do you mean? Like, how do I hide my wiener but tan my nuts? Yeah, because I want to see your dick. I pull, I have my

Speaker 2 shorts still on. I just unzip my zipper and pull my nuts through my zip hole, go through the fence.
Ah, I see what you're saying. Open the fence and put my nuts out.
I'll do that too. Let's do that.

Speaker 2 What, you want to tan our nuts? Nuts out. I'm so into it.
Would you put on sunscreen? You would? A 30 minute, 15, maybe?

Speaker 2 No, I'm not going to. You don't need it.

Speaker 2 You can tan a little bit, right?

Speaker 2 Which I want to talk about,

Speaker 2 you know, because wait, wait, hold on. Now, of course, you might need less time under the sun based on your skin tone.
I yeah, it can cause skin damage, skin cancer, but apparently,

Speaker 2 okay, so you really can improve your testosterone levels by sun in your nuts. Maybe this is something I need to try.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Huh. Butthole sunning is not.
Butthole sunning, however, very different. What's the point of butthole sunning? It's really good for you.
What?

Speaker 2 Look, there they are right there.

Speaker 2 Look at those fellas right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Apparently, high levels of vitamin D can enter through your anal cavity. You know, vitamin D is really good for you.

Speaker 2 So that's like really good to like sun your butthole. Let's see that video.
I want to see these fellas sun their butthole.

Speaker 2 Full screen that, papa.

Speaker 2 In a mere 30 seconds,

Speaker 2 100% it's that guy. Of course, that would be a little bit more.
He's the one that receives more energy.

Speaker 2 This electric node. See? Than you would in an entire day being outside

Speaker 3 with your clothes on.

Speaker 2 So you receive more energy when you sun your butthole.

Speaker 2 This is so tight. I'm doing it tomorrow.
I swear to God. I want to do this.
Can we get a picture of you and I sun in our butthole like this? Want to come over to my house? Do it at my house? I will.

Speaker 2 Honestly, dude, we'll tape it tomorrow.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 You should come to your house? Come to my house. Oh, yeah.
Come to my house in the sun. Yeah, yeah.
Because I get a ton of sunlight for you.

Speaker 2 You're going to tape it because I don't want your wife to tape it.

Speaker 2 We'll have one of the guys, one of these guys do it. Okay, Pete.

Speaker 2 Can you come tape us sun in our buttholes?

Speaker 2 He's got kids. He's not going to.
We don't have to bring the kids. No, but he's not going to tell his wife.
I got to go fucking tape the guys sunning in their butthole. It's his job.
It's my job.

Speaker 2 I will.

Speaker 2 You'll check it out? So we'll do do.

Speaker 2 For like 30 minutes, we'll sun our butthole. I don't think it's.
I think it's like 30 seconds. I don't think you're supposed to sit in the sun that way.
It takes a while for me.

Speaker 2 You need a lot of butthole sunning.

Speaker 2 I don't think it's going to work right away for me. I think I have a lot of layers of stuff.
Butthole sunning. Yeah, yeah.
So let's do like 30 minutes of butthole sunning. All right, fine.

Speaker 2 And we'll do 30 minutes of nut sunning. No, nut sunning has to be much less.
No, we'll put stuff on it. Okay, well,

Speaker 2 go get, we'll go. I'll go to the go to the pharmacy.
Let's go to CBS and go get.

Speaker 2 I'll get the sunscreen. Okay.
I'll get different varieties. Okay.
Right? It's pretty rigid already. Bryce.

Speaker 2 Bryce.

Speaker 2 Can you do me a favor and get me another Diet Coke like this, but do the thing you did with the lighter to open it? Sounds good. Thank you.

Speaker 2 You don't know how to do that? How to crack it open? No. Come here.
I'm going to teach him. Don't open it.
I'm going to teach him. There's no way I'm going to learn.
I'll break the thing.

Speaker 2 Will you learn, please? We have plenty of those Diet Coke. You have seven of those in that thing.

Speaker 2 Hey, we got a lot of Diet Coke. I know, but I don't know how to open it.
I'm going to teach you, dude. That's right.
How do you do do it with a letter? Yeah. I'm going to show you.

Speaker 2 But I'm going to, I'm going to.

Speaker 2 That starts fights at the house, right? I always go, where's the fucking bottle opener? No, see, I know. Here, give me the letter so I can.
I'm not going to open it.

Speaker 2 You are, but I'm going to show you the way. Okay.

Speaker 2 See, you need to put sunscreen. Okay, hold on.
I have this one. Okay.
You need to put sunscreen on your butthole right now. This says, pose people, right? You should be sunning.

Speaker 2 You should be doing it. All right, we'll do it.
So look, grab it like this, and there's one of two ways. You can either brace it here, right?

Speaker 2 I like to brace it right here on this you. It's easier.
So you just go like this, and you see you're bracing it with this. And all you do is crack it up.
It's really easy. Very, very easy.

Speaker 2 Let's see it. Like this? No, look, using this.
Look, using that as a...

Speaker 2 Yeah? Hold on, let me see.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There it is.
Yay!

Speaker 2 Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.

Speaker 2 Yeah, did you like that? Yeah. Yeah, it worked great.
The boys were clapping downstairs. Hey,

Speaker 2 now that you're in Die Coke mode, I want to show you something. This will be great.
Oh, my God. This is my favorite stream of videos on the internet right now.

Speaker 2 There is a guy. Well, there's a group of guys.
I don't know the origins, so I can't. I don't want to speak out of turn, but they play these pranks on each other.

Speaker 2 And you've seen this on the internet. I'm sure you've seen this if you're on the internet at all.

Speaker 2 But look what these boys do to each other.

Speaker 2 Asian? Yeah, oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Stop. Stop, stop, stop.
They put mentos and Coke, and it explodes into order for it to do this to each other all the time. So it doesn't explode everywhere.

Speaker 2 He puts his mouth over it to let it stop the stream. Yeah, but why can't you use your hand? It will never work.
And it's funnier when it's the other way. Okay.
Here you go.

Speaker 2 I love these guys. I know, but it's do the one where they're in a car.

Speaker 2 I know, it's great. It didn't used to be.
That's what I said. When it started out, they used to do it naturally to each other in a car.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 They would do it in the car, and then now they do it staged, of course. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Look at how big that thing is. Do that again.

Speaker 2 Dude, it's so fun to watch. I know it's staged anymore, but it's fun to watch them have fun with each other.

Speaker 2 It's so stupid. It's so good.

Speaker 2 I'm going to be in that house party movie and uh Oh, you already did it? No, I'm going to do it next week, and then I do it in August again. Wait, wait.

Speaker 2 I'm the only white guy in the house party movie. I swear to God.

Speaker 2 Every cool black person and then me.

Speaker 2 Tell me who's in the house party. It's like

Speaker 2 they put up the breakdown and they were like, cool black guy, cool black girl, cool black guy and cool black girl. And Andrew Santino.
And I'm like, I want to see who's in it. DC Young.

Speaker 2 DC Young Fly, Erie Soleil,

Speaker 2 Tosin Cole, George Lindbergh Jr. These are all like cool young hip black guys and girls.
Wow. Yeah, they're cool as shit.
And we're. And they're funny.
And then I'm in it. I'm in it.

Speaker 2 Is it comedy, though, no? It's house party. It's like it's a remake of kid and plays comedy.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I would play.

Speaker 2 Are you a cop in it? What are you?

Speaker 2 I'm one of the dorky next-door neighbors, like the white, like, hey, guys, turn it down. That's me.
Oh, I love it. Yeah.
I love it.

Speaker 2 Well, like, you know, did you see the original, John Witherspoon, rest in peace? Yeah. One of the greatest.
Was he in the house party? He was. He was in the original.
He was one of the neighbors.

Speaker 2 Oh, I didn't know. Yeah, dude.
Oh. Which is is sad because if he was still around, you know, they would have had him play as like an homage again.
Right.

Speaker 2 I love that when actors get to come back to movies that they first did and get to redo it. I'm actually, can I be honest with you? Yeah.
I'm envious that you're in that movie. And house party?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. I'm in it for three-tenths of a second.
It's not even going to be real, dude.

Speaker 2 I'm not in the movie. For what it's worth, I'm like.
All right. I mean, there's a house party going on.

Speaker 2 I'm one of the neighbors. All right, right.
So it's like, there's always that. Yeah, I'm always in the movie.
Any neighborhood movie, right? There's always that annoying neighbor.

Speaker 2 yeah right so you knock on the door yeah so there'll be a scene of you knocking on the door like a cop or whatever

Speaker 2 and excuse me can you turn it down please fellas yeah well i'm not gonna give i'm not gonna give away what the scene is but yes i could but it's that type of scene right yeah you're gonna be in the movie and it's gonna be memorable

Speaker 2 maybe yeah i could easily see them uh um

Speaker 2 uh the rooming me you know did they do you you don't die in it no but something happens to you yes something crazy something cool because you know,

Speaker 2 it's so funny you know how they... Yeah.
Yeah. They reintroduced me to do something cool at the end.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Something crazy, though. That happens to you.
Something that you will go. I love it.
I love it. Yeah, you'll be able to.
Because I love the Ferris Bueller.

Speaker 2 Hey, Jules, you ever see Ferris Bueller's Day Off? No way. I knew she hasn't.
No way. Great movie.
One of the best movies in the history of film. John Hughes.
John Hughes. Yo.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Tim Robinson's show? I think you should leave. Have you ever seen it? Who's Tim Robertson? Holy shit.
You don't know who Tim Robinson is? No. Oh my God.

Speaker 2 Tim Robinson was a writer for Saturday Night Live. He's an amazing comedian.

Speaker 2 He had a show on Netflix called I Think You Should I Think You Should Leave. And the first season was great.
The second season just came out. It's,

Speaker 2 I'm not kidding. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.
Because you've said that before, and then I've knockout. It's knockout hilarious.

Speaker 2 Here's the thing about Sketch. I'm going to preface this, and I'll say this to our audience, too.
Yeah. And I love Tim.
I texted him on the plane and I said, dude, incredible.

Speaker 2 The thing about Sketch is, and this is my stupid opinion. Oh, my God.
I love it already. You either are hitting a home run or it's a foul ball.
Yeah. So here's what I like about sketches.

Speaker 2 Sometimes it's a miss. Yeah.
Sometimes it's a strikeout. Yeah.
That happens in all of them. Yeah.
But the ones that are home runs are fucking amazing. Yeah.
There's no double.

Speaker 2 I mean, Kean Peele had some. Kean Peele had the classics.

Speaker 2 One of the funniest things you've ever seen in your life. They had some

Speaker 2 foul balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 But this guy, Tim Robinson, is a fucking genius. And I'm telling you, dude, this show has some bits in it that will, you will shit your pants.
They're so funny. Oh, I can't wait to watch it.

Speaker 2 You're going to love it. Yeah, yeah.
You're going to love it. I already can see it in my head.
You're going to love it. Yeah, yeah.
He's quirky. He's great.
No, I just, from the photo itself.

Speaker 2 Oh, he's so good. You mean it's like, oh, I have to watch that.
Have you guys seen it? I've seen the first season. Yeah, it's great.
You like the first season? Yeah, I haven't seen the second.

Speaker 2 I think this is better than the first season.

Speaker 2 I like the first season, but I think this has more home runs in it because what he does in it, he goes through this world of like reintroducing characters and old bits from other, which I love.

Speaker 2 You know, Mr. Show used to do that.
Remember, Mr.

Speaker 2 Same thing where you're like, oh, that's that guy. That's the character from this other sketch that he put into this sketch.
Yeah. And it's a callback.
Yeah. It's really wonderful.

Speaker 2 You've seen it, huh? Pete? Yeah. Bryce, you never watched it?

Speaker 2 You don't have time.

Speaker 2 You're going to watch this. Hold on.
I want you. Someone sent me this video.
I want to show you this real fast because this guy is my favorite guy. Do you know who Kevin Samuels is?

Speaker 2 Have you ever heard of him? Do you know who that is? I don't know anybody. This guy's amazing.
This guy. So he's like a.

Speaker 2 I'm going to preface this.

Speaker 2 This guy is like a motivational speaker.

Speaker 2 And particularly, he talks often to black audiences only. Like, his directive is like helping black men and women talk open and honestly about relationships and sex and

Speaker 2 presentation. And he's a little

Speaker 2 brutally honest. Okay, so watch some of this.

Speaker 2 Just watch some of this.

Speaker 3 You got a big dick?

Speaker 2 Huh?

Speaker 3 You have a big dick?

Speaker 2 I mean, it's above average. I ain't no Ron Jerry.

Speaker 3 No, no, no, no, no. I asked you if you had a big dick.
I just said it wasn't above average.

Speaker 2 I don't know what that is, really.

Speaker 3 You had a big dick once.

Speaker 3 Every dude knows whether or not he got a big dick. I know I got a big dick.
You don't know?

Speaker 3 I mean, you don't have a big dick. That's the point.
You don't have a big dick. You don't have a big wallet.

Speaker 3 You're a fat dude.

Speaker 3 And you got a lot of nerve thinking you should get choosing signals at 5'10 and 300 pounds making less than $1,000 a month at 20 years old.

Speaker 2 And women should approach you.

Speaker 3 What they get, they don't even get a big dick.

Speaker 2 Dude,

Speaker 2 and then he hangs up on people. Yeah, the other guys are like, oh,

Speaker 2 I would shoot myself in the face. People call Bobby, people call him for advice and they let him shit on them.
I got to see more. Yes, he's

Speaker 2 amazing. Kevin Sanderson.
Who's we? A black man?

Speaker 3 Who's that?

Speaker 2 Who's we? Who is that? Who Who is that?

Speaker 2 Hello.

Speaker 3 Yeah, check your shits.

Speaker 3 You realize fuck you up, Kevin.

Speaker 2 Really? Fuck you up. Get this big bitch.
Look at this little fat.

Speaker 2 You like men, Kevin. Look at this little fool.
Look at this little fat fool. That's why I just sat there and let her talk.

Speaker 2 Bro, that's why I just sat there and let her stupid ass talk.

Speaker 3 This is why you're dying alone.

Speaker 2 Just let us sit there talk. I found God.

Speaker 3 Ain't nobody rushing to try to make.

Speaker 3 That was a stray.

Speaker 2 Bro,

Speaker 2 it's endless. I've watched this.
I'm not kidding. I've watched him.
I have to watch all of you. I've watch hours of him.
Hours. How do you find it? How do I find it? Kevin Samuels is just YouTube.

Speaker 2 All of it. Kevin Samuels.
Wait, but let me tell you one before this next one plays. The funniest one I think I've ever seen in my life.
Yeah. He's got a guy and a girl.
I couldn't find it.

Speaker 2 He's got a guy and a girl, and he's doing kind of like a match, a matching thing. But all he's really doing, he's setting them up to tell them their flaws to each other.

Speaker 2 Like making her go, what don't you like about this guy? And in the middle, he's adding stuff. So she'll go, well, he's bald.
And he'll go, yeah, he bald and he's fat, and he got big old forehead.

Speaker 2 And he'll just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they love it.
They do. And they take it.

Speaker 2 But is he a relationship coach? No. Dude, he is a life, he is a life coach.
Yes, and particularly, his whole goal was like to get away from these I deserve

Speaker 2 stigmas of like a lot of times. He would try to coach women and be like, here's why guys don't want you.
This is his whole thing.

Speaker 2 By the way, white guy, canceled.

Speaker 2 If this is a white guy, done. They're going to kill him.
They're going to kill him. They're going to kill him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but

Speaker 2 in the black community, they can take this fun honesty and they go back and forth. If you said that to a group of white chicks, they'd sue you.
Yeah, let me see. They'd sue you.
Let me see.

Speaker 3 Talk about this. No, man.

Speaker 3 Marriage is a natural choice because if marriage was a spiritual choice, God would be responsible for all the divorces. And he is not.

Speaker 1 But God created marriage.

Speaker 2 No, he did not.

Speaker 2 Yes, he did. No, he didn't.

Speaker 3 Okay. You're going to argue? Okay.

Speaker 2 You're 2014.

Speaker 3 You're not going to argue with me because, one, I know what I'm talking about. And I can, first of all, even if you're a Christian, you shouldn't be arguing with me in the first place.

Speaker 2 Correct.

Speaker 3 Were Adam and Eve married?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 Who performed the ceremony?

Speaker 2 Jesus did.

Speaker 2 Oh, shit.

Speaker 2 Seriously?

Speaker 3 I'm saying oh shit because you're are you serious?

Speaker 3 God, Adam and Eve were married.

Speaker 3 There was only one person on the planet. It was Adam.
God put him to sleep and he wrote, went inside of him, took out a rib and said, flesh of my flesh.

Speaker 2 He made Eve.

Speaker 3 He presented Eve to Adam. They didn't get married.

Speaker 2 Who did the ceremony? Simba?

Speaker 2 Are you kidding? They weren't married. Let me see another one.
That one's okay. Hold on.
Let me see another one.

Speaker 3 And how tall are you? I'm 5'3 ⁇ . How much do you weigh?

Speaker 2 That's none of your business. I told you I was fat.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 3 We don't play that shit on my channel. You get your big fat ass on somewhere.

Speaker 3 I don't deal with you big sassy ass bros.

Speaker 3 As an image consultant and as a person and a professional,

Speaker 3 you can be 5'3 and weigh so much that you don't even want to tell somebody how much you weigh and think you're going to get a man to marry you. A high-value man.

Speaker 3 So you go ahead and go on back over and get your two-piece or three-piece or whatever you got coming from, you know, Chick-fil-A or Popeyes.

Speaker 3 Do you think she talked to Brad that way? Hell no.

Speaker 2 Oh, I love this guy. Kevin Samuels.
Kevin Samuels. Can we find a way to connect with him to get him on this show? Wouldn't you love that?

Speaker 2 Yeah, but it's like... This guy's great.
He is great, but it's like...

Speaker 2 He's he's so mean, it's wonderful. It's mean, but it's not.
Get your big bitch ass out of here. True.
What do you mean? Because it's like, if you're a five-three, I understand.

Speaker 2 Let me tell you something. Yeah.

Speaker 2 The people that call into the show, they know what it is. I know, I know, I get it.
So I understand that, but I'm just saying.

Speaker 2 I'm just saying, it's like, all right, there's several ways to get a man. Of course.
All right. So if you're 5'3, right, and you weigh, what, 200 pounds? Yes.
You're fat, right? Yeah. Right.

Speaker 2 But the inner skills have to be great. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Right. So, for instance, he's an image.

Speaker 2 I know. I know.
He's talking about image only.

Speaker 2 That's his whole thing. Right.
But I'm just saying that these women are calling. I can't find a man in 5'3, right? But shame on them for calling this guy.
I know, but there's just several.

Speaker 2 I'm just saying, if I was like a consultant, a life consultant. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, there's two ways. Either lose the weight,

Speaker 2 look good, or become an empire. Right, right, right, right, right, right.
Right. There's only two ways, but that's not.

Speaker 2 Look, if no, the reason Kalila's with you is not because you're a good-looking five-foot-four guy. Exactly.
It's because you're talented.

Speaker 2 I have other things I knew. You make up for your flaws.
I looked in the mirror long ago. Yeah.
And he's a young man, and I went, okay.

Speaker 2 Got it. Better be.
You love beautiful women. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I did. I've always liked it, right? And I'm not like the other guys, my types, going, I'm just going to go for what I, you know, I always aim high in everything that I do.
Right.

Speaker 2 Well, because if you, if if you aim, you know, shoot for the moon, you'll end up in the stars. Yeah.
Like, for instance, I came into this business thinking I was going to be Tom Cruise.

Speaker 2 This is where I landed. Yeah.
This is fine by me, though. You're Tongo Cruz now.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 2 So, what I'm saying is, is that, like, you know, I looked in the mirror and I go, what do I need to do? You figured out your strengths. I had to go, I'm funny.
Right.

Speaker 2 I have interests, you know what I mean? And maybe doing some sort of performance. Yeah.
Right. I'm not a good musician.
So I did that early on. I was in some fans.
You were a good musician. Okay.

Speaker 2 right but it's like i think that i got to do something so i did incredible like risks risk taking like i would just go up i have no experience performing really right so i walked up to a club and i just signed my name and i waited for six hours they called my name and i ran up there And I have no writing, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 I don't went to a seminar or I go to college for writing. Man, me neither.
I just wrote down whatever I thought might be funny. And 95% of it was junk.

Speaker 2 But every week I would just keep going and then I would go three, four, five times a week. And eventually I figured it out.
And eventually I started getting women that were like above my

Speaker 2 pay grade. Yeah.
Right.

Speaker 2 So I'm just saying that I know what he's saying.

Speaker 2 First of all, what he's doing is entertainment. Like he's just doing this just to create content.
It is funny. He's trolling people.
He's trolling people. But it's wonderful.
It is wonderful.

Speaker 2 I want him on the show. I want Kevin on the show.
But you don't feel bad for these women that are calling in?

Speaker 2 I didn't say any of the mean things. I like listening to it because it's hilarious.
But he does this to guys. In the first clip we saw, he's like, you got a big dick.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 He does it to everybody.

Speaker 2 He's trolling you. And by the way, that's my point.
Is if you don't like him or you don't like the behavior that talk, don't call in. Don't watch.
Don't listen. Right, right.

Speaker 2 That's my whole point about censorship in our business at all. Howard Stern has been the filthiest mouth.

Speaker 2 Like, here's a dude who's like, I'm a vegan and we rescue dogs. It's like, dude, he spent the first half of his career being like, show me your tits.
I mean, dude, what do you mean?

Speaker 2 He's a shock shot guy. Even us, it's like, I've read comments on bad friends.
Yeah. Stub.

Speaker 2 The worst podcast, or whatever I might say. The worst? Did they think we're the worst? Somebody had said that.
The worst podcast. There are so many worst podcasts.
Unlistenable, right?

Speaker 2 Every week, they say every week it's unlistenable, right?

Speaker 2 But they listen every week. Yeah.
Oh, right. Right? So it's like, it kind of was like.
There's way worse podcasts out there. Good for you.

Speaker 2 My point is

Speaker 2 that, like, I should stop reading that shit. Yeah,

Speaker 2 100%. 100%.
It doesn't mean anything. You know what? And let me say this.
Let me say this because I'm going to close the episode with something sweet.

Speaker 2 Out of all the questions I got this past week in Houston, a lot about you, which was very annoying.

Speaker 2 It's very annoying because she's getting a little bit too big for her britches, and I'm getting a little frustrated.

Speaker 2 And they all asked about her because they love you. And at the very end, one guy said, I don't have a question.
I have a comment.

Speaker 2 I just want to thank you and thank you guys for giving us content every week, for doing what you do, because it means a lot to us whether or not you recognize that we know that it's, you know, putting in work and time and effort and all that stuff.

Speaker 2 So, to that dude, I wish I'd give him a big hug. I think that was amazing because we do appreciate all the fans.
I don't give a shit about the comments, positive or negative.

Speaker 2 I just want to say thank you to the fans because it does mean a lot, dude. It means a lot when they come to the shows and they're super supportive and they're excited about this, us doing this.

Speaker 2 I'm being judged. When I ended that last liberation, it means a lot.
Great Breyer show I did. They're all, you know, you were, you had left the stage.
Yeah. And I literally tried to be vulnerable.

Speaker 2 And I said to, and I really meant it. I said,

Speaker 2 I just,

Speaker 2 like, you guys have recreated me. That's reinvented.
You reinvented me. Yeah.
And I feel like, you know, I've had fans before,

Speaker 2 but not this intense and personal. And so it's like when they come up to me and they go, can I get a photo? Or

Speaker 2 I talk to them like regular, like it's regular. It's like, it is.

Speaker 2 I thank them. I look them in the eyes.
I thank them.

Speaker 2 I take every photo

Speaker 2 and I'm just very

Speaker 2 in awe of it. And I, I, you know, I know that we do what we do, you know what I mean, as a service, you know, whatever, but

Speaker 2 we get it back, though, from them. Oh, yeah, dude.
And it fuels us. And it's like, it literally is just the most amazing life that I could ever imagine.
We love you guys.

Speaker 2 You do it.

Speaker 2 I thought you were going to do it with me. I was really.

Speaker 2 Let's do it really softly and quietly because we mean it.

Speaker 2 Thank you for being in the back, man.