Stabbed With Ramen

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Speaker 2 Hey, we here at Bad Friends want to show some love to our Bad Friends family.

Speaker 2 Jenna Sunday, who is an artist that works with us. She's made

Speaker 2 so much incredible stuff that you guys have seen VFX stuff when the spiders crawl across the table on the show and lightning and storms and light changes.

Speaker 2 She's a part of our family, and we want to help her. And

Speaker 2 so, can you help Ian and the family with Ian's liver transplant? Yeah, her brother,

Speaker 2 her brother is sick, and we're trying to promote her GoFundMe because we believe here we're a family of Bad Friends.

Speaker 2 We hope you guys are a part of our family, and we hope that you guys help contribute to helping one of our family members get through an extremely tough time. It'd mean a lot to us.

Speaker 2 So be a bad friend and go donate if you can. We appreciate it.
I'm going to donate right now. Donate now.
And we'll put the link in the description so everyone can click on it.

Speaker 2 Bob's donating right now. So thanks for being a bad friend and donate.
Hey. Hey, guys.
Tomorrow night, we're going to be at Brea together. At Brea Improv.
8 p.m. It's a great show.

Speaker 2 I've got Andrew on it and Chad and JT from their podcast are going to do it. And then some other people might show up.
Who knows? Who knows? We're going to be doing shows. And also,

Speaker 2 go to AndrewSantino.com. I'm going to be in Houston in a couple of weeks.

Speaker 2 Houston's up first. Then I go to Madison.
Then I go to Nashville and Boston. And I'm all over the place.
So go to AndrewSantino.com. Houston, show up.
All right.

Speaker 2 And also, Tuesday night before the Bray Improv, Jules is going to do a little set. Jules will be doing a set.
So if you are going to be a little bit of a show.

Speaker 2 She's going to be doing a set. You don't have a time.
So make sure you come out to see Jules do her first stand-up comedy show. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 The two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 2 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 2 We're bad friends. Where's my Red Bull?

Speaker 2 Who are you?

Speaker 2 What do you mean? That's the new Andres. I told you I got rid of Andres and I wanted someone new.

Speaker 2 Do you know? Do you know what his name is?

Speaker 2 I'm going to call him what I want to call him. What's your name? Chango.

Speaker 2 It's actually Ignatio. Oh, Ignatio.
What do you say? Ignatheo.

Speaker 2 Look at me. His attitude.
Agnacio. Agnafio.
Agnacio. Who is this guy? That's Ignacio.
I love him. Agnacio.
I got rid of that bag of trash

Speaker 2 Andres.

Speaker 2 And I got Ignacio. Agna.
Look at me. Look at me.
Yeah. Say Agna.

Speaker 2 Like Egna. Go Agna.

Speaker 2 Egna. And then go Egio.
Leo. No.
Egil.

Speaker 2 No, look. E, E, Dio.
Egna, E, Leo. Egna Dio.
Agna Lio. The perfect.
Yeah. Perfect.
Agnacio, thanks for coming. Yeah.
Thanks for filling in. He's like made out of half human, half stone.
Ignacio?

Speaker 2 Yeah, his face. It's just like...
He was very serious. Yeah.
He looks like one of those shelter island shelter island? The shelter island statues.

Speaker 2 Do you remember those?

Speaker 2 Is that what he looks like? Yeah. Just

Speaker 2 get off my island. Get off the island.

Speaker 2 Last night. Is he Spanish? Yeah.
Of course.

Speaker 2 Will he shut the fuck up? Because he's talking way more. Ask him.
I'm talking more than Andreas talks. So where are you from in Espan? Espana? Espana.
From Sevilla. Sevilla.

Speaker 2 Oh, bro. Sevilla is the most beautiful place on earth.
Great soccer tam. It's spelled Seville, right? Yes.
That's how white people say it. Seville.
We went to Seville on vacation. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's how my people do it. We're tapas.

Speaker 2 Okay, check it. We flew to Seville.
Yeah. All right.
And then they have this stuff called Carpaccio. You ever heard Carpaccio? It's nuts.
What? Carpaccio. No, it's Carpaccio.
We had him.

Speaker 2 He's doing a bit, Anthenthio. What the fuck is his name? I forgot his name, Brad.
Anthenthio. Ignatio.
Ignacio. Ignatheo.
Shut the fuck up. What is Ignacio's name in American?

Speaker 2 I can tell you right now. What is it? Ted.
Ah, Ted. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good to see you, Ted.

Speaker 2 Well, thanks for filling in, Ted. No problem.
My pleasure. What do you think about our new Andres?

Speaker 2 I prefer Andreas. Whoa, he's right there, the guy.

Speaker 2 That's crazy. Why don't you like Agnethiel?

Speaker 3 He's more serious.

Speaker 2 He is more serious. He's more serious.
You know what he does for a living, this guy? What? You're not going to believe this. Can I guess? Sure.
He works in a mine somewhere.

Speaker 2 Did he talk to you before the show? He looks like he works in a mine. He used to.
He used to run a mine. He gathers iron ingots.
He does? Yeah. Well, no, he was the foreman.
Okay, bring up the ingots.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's a heart surgeon, dude. He used to be a heart surgeon.
What kind of hearts? Like bovine. Farms.
Bovine.

Speaker 2 He would do surgery on bovine hearts, cow hearts.

Speaker 2 They have open heart surgery, cows? Yeah, they do. Why? High cholesterol.
High fat. High cholesterol.
Their diet's insane. Look at how fat they are.
Well, they're hamburgers. And a couple of.

Speaker 2 If you're a hamburger, you're going to give yourself

Speaker 2 your high cholesterol. So

Speaker 2 how many cows have you performed heart surgery on, Agnathio? I lost the count. You know, you need to get that valve, you know.
You need to get that valve. He lost count.
Get him out of here.

Speaker 2 What is this? It's my brother. So,

Speaker 2 you want to work for the Scissor Bros podcast, huh?

Speaker 2 What makes you think you can cut it here?

Speaker 5 I'm tired of working with Divas and

Speaker 5 LRIs.

Speaker 2 What is your greatest asset as an employee?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 5 I

Speaker 5 call myself the Quentin Tarantino podcast, so to speak.

Speaker 5 I have rescued, you know, forgotten talent and made them stars again.

Speaker 2 Oh my god.

Speaker 5 I think I can make you a stars.

Speaker 2 Did you have any issues with your last employer? If so, please explain in detail.

Speaker 2 Okay, so I work with two comedians. Who are they?

Speaker 5 Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino. You might have heard of them.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. We've heard of those.
Yeah, we've heard of them. Yeah.
And, you know, they're funny. Ish.
They just yell a lot, you know.

Speaker 5 They do yell a lot.

Speaker 2 We don't. We don't.

Speaker 5 You guys are all more positive energy, right? Like I see.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's doing this. Oh, really? What'd you do? So you know about

Speaker 2 you.

Speaker 2 Bob the scissors, yeah. He's starting to go.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, are you comfortable with male nudity?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 When can you start?

Speaker 2 They're trying to steal our people, Bob.

Speaker 2 The nerve. First, they steal our show.

Speaker 2 Then they steal our employees.

Speaker 2 They're not going to pay him anything. They won't be able to afford him.
There's no chance. And also,

Speaker 2 I'm very supportive of my brother. So should we just give them Andres?

Speaker 2 They can have him. All right.
You heard it here first. You can have him.
We fired him.

Speaker 2 You get our leftovers. You can have them.
You can have our leftovers.

Speaker 2 By the way, we're losing Agnathio. He's got to go.
Agnathio's got to to leave because he's got to get home to. Bye, Nathi.
Bye, Nathi. Thanks for filling in, I guess.

Speaker 2 I guess. No problem.
I miss Andreas so much. What if I just clapped and Andreas was back in the chair? Oh, I would love it.
They just jumped out of it. No way.
I never thought I would miss Andreas.

Speaker 2 You didn't?

Speaker 2 I miss him. He was there last night, though.
What a night. What a night we had last night.
Last night we had a night. My God.
Michael, what a night. So Bob and I went down to the Bray Improv.

Speaker 2 It was called Bobby Lee Does New Material with Friends, and he didn't tell them they were going to do new material. That's what the name of the show was.

Speaker 2 So we all show up and nobody knows we're supposed to do new material.

Speaker 2 And he starts complaining that some of the other comics that were on the show were doing material that was a material, stuff that they'd done before.

Speaker 2 And then we all said, when did you want us to do new stuff? And you said, that's what the show is. But nobody knew that.
Yeah, it's called Bobby Lee's shit show.

Speaker 2 Listen, you are a shit show. So it could be just called Bobby Lee's show.
Andy. Don't do it, boob.

Speaker 2 Don't do it. But when you make me mad, I got to call you Andy.
What happened last night was Bob and I did a show.

Speaker 2 Bob didn't tell anybody that you were supposed to do new material, so we all went out there. Well, no, no, no.
Andrew, let me just ask you. Can I say something, by the way?

Speaker 2 Let me just say something because you've been talking a lot. Can I finish? Go ahead.
Bobby didn't want to go last on his own show. So he wanted to go in the middle, which is crazy.

Speaker 2 Yes, it is. You're supposed to headline your own show.
No, I'm not. It's.
Yes, you are.

Speaker 2 The whole reason why I did it in the first place is I'm not going to raise my voice is because I haven't been going up at all ever. Doesn't matter.
It's my second time up, right?

Speaker 2 And I wanted an environment where I wasn't playing at the store because I don't like playing. I just wanted to just kind of get my chops back up.
I know.

Speaker 2 So the whole point of it was I thought maybe I create like an open mic situation, but that's more insulated. And I'll do it where I can control it at the very improv.

Speaker 2 I thought 100 people would show up, 50 people. There's 400 people.

Speaker 2 How many 400? Sold out both last Tuesday and this Tuesday. And I'm not going to do it.

Speaker 2 My next last one is next Tuesday. I'm not doing it anymore.
because it's like it's too much the why

Speaker 2 because it's like I'm going up and doing five minutes and then it's like people are going well I paid money you know I mean what do you mean the whole show was packed with comics it was people loved it I know people want me to do more time

Speaker 2 well well what happened last night was Bobby went up in the middle and did some time and then I was supposed to close the show or go last and then I said you got to come up on stage with me and you did And we had a blast, didn't you?

Speaker 2 We didn't want to do it. We did 40 minutes.
I didn't want to do it. Yeah, you did.
No, in the beginning, I didn't, but then I'm like, oh, I don't think he's going to do stand-up. I wasn't going to.

Speaker 2 Right, so you grabbed the other mic, and then you and I did a 25-minute

Speaker 2 34-minute improv. We did a bunch of improv.
Here, let me show you why how this Pete's got it. Why you came up on stage in the first place? Because a gentleman in the front row yelled out,

Speaker 2 Bobby, let's see your wiener or something. And I said, He's not going to show you his wiener.
And then Bobby

Speaker 2 said, Yes. This is crazy.
Let's press play and find out. So you take him backstage.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I was

Speaker 2 No, I didn't see my dick, man. Like, I think you didn't.
Can I leave it? I just want to take a photo with you, Bob. Can I take a photo with you? Oh, he just wanted a picture.

Speaker 2 You look great. I love it.
I love it. Can I take a photo of him? No, no.

Speaker 2 Insane. I got my dick on.

Speaker 2 He wanted a picture that bad.

Speaker 2 I'll take a photo. Get your camera.

Speaker 2 Sing that, bro. Come on.

Speaker 2 That he got what he wanted, finally. Cute.

Speaker 2 Very sweet.

Speaker 2 Very sweet.

Speaker 2 No, we continued on.

Speaker 2 So this guy, so this guy, this guy goes,

Speaker 2 let me see your penis. Obviously, I'm not going to just fucking, not everyone gets to see it.
That's right. Special people.
He's a celebrity. He's rep by APA.
Does he really have a...

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm with CAA, but my my kids get right by apa yeah

Speaker 2 is he uh lit or a theatrical or lit lit oh yeah he's a writer he's written three scripts get out of town yeah wow yeah

Speaker 2 so um this guy goes let me see your dick i go

Speaker 2 because you don't want to get canceled right and you're kind of thinking of the modern times

Speaker 2 so i go how do i pull this i'll bring him up on stage yeah i'll bring him behind this curtain privately privately he asked he asked so there's no problemo there no and i and you did it in a private location I pulled it out.

Speaker 2 He doesn't look at it. Okay.
And he looks me right in the eyes and he goes, I don't want to see it. Can I get a photo? Yeah, all he wanted was a picture.
Yeah, but it's like now I look like the fool.

Speaker 2 No, you don't look like a fool. My penis is out, Andy.
But nobody saw it.

Speaker 2 Robert, nobody saw your penis, including the gentleman. And small? No, well, yeah, I mean, but he didn't see it.
The funny thing is, I had the camera pointed at such a perfect angle. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I was like, well, we'll have to blur it out. And I catch no penis.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because I'm my

Speaker 2 slope. Yeah, because you're slope.
Slope. You can't say slope on your stomach.
Your stomach. The slope of your stomach.
I can't say slope on your phone. Don't do that to me.
I'm a snippy out.

Speaker 2 Are you going to do that too? Oh, you son of a bitch. Don't just try to listen to my words and find a chink in the armor.
Don't just do that. That's not fair.

Speaker 2 No, the slope of your stomach covered up the breadth of your penis, which was kind of nice because now there's no nudity on the camera. Right.
That's great. I have a self-editing system on my body.

Speaker 2 Your stomach is Photoshop. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that guy had a great time and he loved it.

Speaker 2 But then one of my favorite things that happened last night was I had seen, Brea is a part of Southern California where there's a lot of

Speaker 2 Latinx. Yeah, Latinx.

Speaker 2 We had a lot of brown people, which are my favorites, but no black people. And I said, Bob, there's no black fans here.
You don't have black fans. And there was two men in the front row.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And they were both black fans of whose?

Speaker 2 Yours. Mine.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Two black guys, both black. I wouldn't break because one of them was wearing, it's summer.
One of them wasn't. He's wearing a thick-ass Cosby sweater.
He didn't speak English.

Speaker 2 But with the other, but you know what? I think he wore the Cosby sweater because of what happened today.

Speaker 2 Guess who got released today? I know. Congratulations, Bob.

Speaker 2 Bill Cosby got out. That's what Bobby always wanted.
Like, if I met, because I'm doing a show tonight.

Speaker 2 Where? At the store. Okay.
So I imagine, like,

Speaker 2 if by chance Bill Cosby wants to do a guest spot and have to bring him up, I'd have to say, our next comic, ladies, cover your drinks.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? How can this guy get out? Look at there. He brought out.
He got out. He got out.
He got free. Do you know who Bill Cosby is, Rudy? No.
That's crazy. I love that.

Speaker 2 I love that about you. Well, just by looking at him,

Speaker 2 who do you think this guy is? Who do you think he is? And

Speaker 2 what do you think he meant to us? Do you know anything about him? An actor? He was an actor. He's an actor.
Do you know any films that he might have been in? War movies. War movies? War movies.

Speaker 2 He wasn't a bunch of war movies. He was.
Do you know what wars?

Speaker 2 Specifically, what war?

Speaker 2 World War II. That's right.
He was in fucking.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 he was an actor, an actor. Yeah.
um did you see what he said when he was walking by cameras no he goes hey hey hey shut up i swear to god google that did

Speaker 2 he does a fat he does a fat albert

Speaker 2 hey hey hey wow yeah yeah so bill cosby was a stand-up comedian okay just i want to just put it to you this in the 80s rudy he was big there was no one Bigger, I mean, he was like, think of right now, who do you think the biggest star is right now?

Speaker 2 Biggest star? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Leonardo. Okay, Leonardo DiCabra.
For television, he was that.

Speaker 2 That big. There, we go.
Here we go. Here we go.

Speaker 2 Oh, let me hear it.

Speaker 2 No

Speaker 2 way.

Speaker 2 This guy gets out of it.

Speaker 2 He used to do in the 70s our cartoon called Fat Albert. And his catchphrase was, hey, hey, hey.

Speaker 2 And that's, he just got out of prison. That's the first thing.
He got a prison for rape, and that's what he did. That's the first thing out of his mouth.

Speaker 2 What a

Speaker 2 real piece of shit. No, he's.

Speaker 2 He's a piece of shit. He's a piece of shit.
Yeah. You get out of prison for rape and you make it.
If I got released from prison, right? And immediately.

Speaker 2 The first thing out of my mouth was, uh-oh, hot dog.

Speaker 2 That's insane. What he did was

Speaker 2 he put stuff in women's drinks, and then they would go to sleep, and he would assault them. And he just got out of prison after serving two years.
Only two years. That's all you need to do.

Speaker 2 If you're Bill Cosby, you get two years, and then you're good to go, and you're allowed to walk out and go, hey, hey, hey.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and also when he was in prison, what made me laugh was, which is not a funny situation, but

Speaker 2 some inmate, did you hear about this? Threw a chicken patty at his face.

Speaker 2 That's very funny. And it hit him like...

Speaker 2 I just can imagine it stinking. It's all the chicken patty.
Hey, hey, hey! And it just kind of slides off his face.

Speaker 2 I thought he was separated from the general population because of his health and age and all that stuff. I just assume that they put them in separate kids.
I think at lunch, he can join the.

Speaker 2 Oh, he can sit with the girl kids. I don't know.
But

Speaker 2 the first is Camille,

Speaker 2 his wife. What about her? Oh, because she was like, it's all a lie.

Speaker 2 First of all. She stood by him.
She's just, they live in two separate houses, I think. What do you, but I guess the question would be: what did America want her to do? Condemn him and then leave him?

Speaker 2 Well, it's like... I'm asking, I'm just asking.
I'm going to just let you know, if I leave a cigarette butt

Speaker 2 in the backyard underneath a rock,

Speaker 2 Kalila knows about it. Right.
Right? Right. How the fuck does Camille not know that he's a rapper? Oh, so you're saying she's in on it.
I just, I just can't, you know,

Speaker 2 imagine her not knowing. I mean, if it was one or two, that's one thing, right? But it's like thousands.
50 or whatever. Or 60.
Yeah, whatever it is. Right.
It's crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, I mean, she did, she was kind of adamant about saying it wasn't real. And she was like, this is all lies and all for attention and fame.

Speaker 2 And you're like, man, is she so delusioned that she might actually believe that? Yeah. Or the best.
She's just trying to hold it down for him. She's holding it down the Forbes.
Because she's making...

Speaker 2 I mean, obviously, he's a multi-millionaire. Yeah, but no, at this point, she could have all that money.
It's not about money. For her, I think it's about legacy.
She just doesn't want it.

Speaker 2 She doesn't want to believe it's real. Maybe.
Doesn't want to believe it's real. Yeah.
But my favorite interview was when they were, I guess,

Speaker 2 at an art museum opening or whatever.

Speaker 2 And then they did an interview, and I guess his publicist cleared it with, you know, the journalist saying, no, no weird questions, okay? No weird questions.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and then the guy brings it up, and then there's that weird, awkward exchange between Camille Cosby and the journalist. Have you seen that? No.
Can we see that? So good. Thank you.

Speaker 2 Okay, here's the first time.

Speaker 4 Thank you. Now, can I I get something from you? What's that? That none of that will be shown?

Speaker 1 I can't promise that myself, but you didn't say anything?

Speaker 4 I know I didn't say anything,

Speaker 4 but I'm asking your integrity that since I didn't want to say anything.

Speaker 2 It's interesting to talk about integrity.

Speaker 4 If I don't want to say anything, of what value will it have?

Speaker 2 I don't think it will.

Speaker 2 But then he starts pulling weight.

Speaker 2 He starts telling people, hey, his public says, can you call, you know what I mean, this person? Can you call her? So watch.

Speaker 2 This is so shady.

Speaker 4 If you will just tell your boss, the reason why we didn't say that up front was because we thought

Speaker 4 that AP had the integrity.

Speaker 2 He says integrity twice.

Speaker 4 To not

Speaker 2 ask this guy's a rapist, and he's talking about integrity. One other point on that.

Speaker 4 And I think you need to get on the phone with his

Speaker 4 person immediately. Okay.

Speaker 4 Okay, thank you.

Speaker 2 Insane. Yeah, yeah.
That's insane. Yeah.
So then he calls. You don't have the integrity.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like the nerve to talk about integrity to a journalist who's like, what's up with all these crazy allegations? But that's not only that, it's just that his boss is like, he's an employee. Yeah.
Right.

Speaker 2 His boss is like, you got to ask the question. It's all over.
Well, it's all over. What is he going to do? It's not like.
It's inappropriate. It's a museum fucking opening.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's like, it's not like, what car do you drive? It's like, yeah, yeah. It's not like, do you prefer chicken or beef? This is like, it's totally legit.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I've never seen that. That's insane.
I've never seen Camille, though. Oh, dude.
Well, yeah, that's. Camille's just, what's going on? Is this real?

Speaker 2 You know what's a crazy bring this up. I don't know why this made me think of that, but bring up

Speaker 2 Mike Tyson interview. It's my favorite one.

Speaker 2 In Canada? When he's like, you're a goddamn piece of shit. Yeah, yeah, no, no.
That's my favorite one.

Speaker 2 That's my because. Mike Tyson interview, and then he's.
It was a slow, like sort of a slow burn in his mind.

Speaker 2 What would he say? Mike Tyson interview Canadian. Canadian.

Speaker 2 That's it right there. That's it right there.
That's it right there. This is so great.
Pull that. Now you're not supposed to swear on television.

Speaker 2 You cannot threaten to kill someone in the journal's life.

Speaker 2 But then don't ask Mike Tyson, one of the the strongest men.

Speaker 2 This fuck it. Yeah, this is it.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Now, some of your critics would say, you know, there's a race for mayor. We know you're a convicted rapist.
This could hurt his campaign. How would you respond to that?

Speaker 6 Hey, I don't know who said that. You don't even want to hurt Slay that.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 6 And I don't have no comment to that, you know, because it's negative and you're being negative.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 6 I met the mayor, and nothing they can do about it. We actually had a really good time.

Speaker 6 We talked about George Travallo.

Speaker 2 Look at him staring at him. This is staring at us.
Those are the thoughts.

Speaker 2 It's brewing. Look at that.
Oh, my God. He wants to kill him.
Life.

Speaker 6 Highs and lows. It's so interesting because you come across like a nice guy, but you're really a piece of shit.
Hey, you think come on? Come on. No, that was a piece of shit.
Fuck you.

Speaker 6 That was a piece of shit. You know,

Speaker 6 we're doing live TV. Hey, I don't care.
What are you going to do about it? All right.

Speaker 2 You got to show me this.

Speaker 2 We are. A lot of people.
We are.

Speaker 6 Where it comes raw, and it's the real treatment.

Speaker 6 You know, it speaks for itself everyone saw the show all right it's a Broadway production it went to Vegas it went to actually 2000

Speaker 2 he's killing he's turning into the Hulk yeah he wants to just rip this dude

Speaker 2 he's

Speaker 2 so angry look at

Speaker 6 this or is it more nervous for you to box how does it compare

Speaker 6 It's more nerve-wracking for me to hear talking to a rat piece of shit like, oh, come on.

Speaker 6 We're gonna

Speaker 6 we're gonna we're gonna wrap up this interview. Thank you for thank you for coming.
Fuck you.

Speaker 2 It's the best.

Speaker 2 Fuck you. That's one of the do you know who that Mayo Mike Tyson is? Kind of.
Yeah. It's insane.
He was one of the greatest boxers of all time.

Speaker 2 But it's crazy because that guy, you can feel him being like.

Speaker 2 Let me just say this. He not only the greatest boxer of all time, he was

Speaker 2 so

Speaker 2 he was a one-punch

Speaker 2 knocked-out monster.

Speaker 2 He would kill

Speaker 2 annihilate. But he would, and just people

Speaker 2 paralyzed people. Time travel.

Speaker 2 And it's like tomorrow.

Speaker 2 I mean, he was so scary. He was the biggest guy.
Now put into contact with this journalist. You know what I mean? Said, you're a convicted rapist.

Speaker 2 He was, yeah. He was.
Yeah, but

Speaker 2 I'm not going to sit in the couch and say that to him because I don't want to kill him.

Speaker 2 I know him.

Speaker 2 You know Tyson? Yeah, I know Tyson. Whoa.
Yeah, and it's like,

Speaker 2 why would you bring it up to him? I don't even know. I think even me saying that he was a convicted one just now, I might want to edit that out.
I'm scared now. Yeah, I'd be scared if I was.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm like, my nose is sweating. Yeah.
Imagine being a crossroad.

Speaker 2 Just

Speaker 2 say it to me.

Speaker 2 So, Mike, some of the critics are saying that it's a little interesting that you would meet with the mayor Rob Ford because you are a convicted rapist. Do you have anything to say about that?

Speaker 2 You could say that really well.

Speaker 2 That's what he did. That's exactly what he said.

Speaker 2 That's exactly what he said. Would you be able to do that, though? No.
No, my. Oh, my God.
No. Yeah.
This is what I would have said if I was. That's what I wanted.
Okay. Give it to me.

Speaker 2 They give it to me, and I go. And it's on the question.
Yeah. I got the cards away.
It's on the question. Now, Mike, you met with

Speaker 2 the mayor, Rob before. Now, a lot of your critics are saying that.

Speaker 2 My critics? A lot of the critics are out there saying that it's interesting for the mayor to meet with you, considering the fact that you are

Speaker 2 a

Speaker 2 chef. You're a chef.
Is that right? You're a chef? I'm not a chef. I best cook stuff.
Oh, you cook stuff before.

Speaker 2 But you're also somebody.

Speaker 2 You're.

Speaker 2 Are you a rapper? That says you're a rapper. You've been rapping? All right.
We're going to go to a commercial break. I'm going to just storm out.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I can't. That interview gave me the chills.
I can't believe that Cosmy. I've never seen that.
Honestly, I've never seen that. Seriously, dude, because I've been asked to do his podcast.

Speaker 2 Whenever I run into him, I have photos with him on Instagram.

Speaker 2 He's super nice to me.

Speaker 2 just this what I just did here scares you we can we cut it out he's a con but he loves comedy he gets it I know I'm gonna just say Mike I'm on your side I mean I'm not though I don't know I let's I can't

Speaker 2 I'm having a meltdown what are you trying to say nothing he's a change reform man he is a changed guy he's one of the nice like I can do that yeah literally one of the nicest guys I've ever met no he's changed he's he's had a lot of struggles over the course of his life and he's changed as yeah as the the man he's become a nickel I'm just letting you know one punch from him even now

Speaker 2 how much would you would it be to take a punch from Mike, for real? Right now.

Speaker 2 Not at his prime right now. How much money

Speaker 2 would I want to receive?

Speaker 2 There's no money because I would die. No, you could take one.
I don't think so. Bare-handed? No, with a glove, for sure.
Bare-handed. On the head? Yeah, in the face.

Speaker 2 One glove in the face. No, there's no way.

Speaker 2 I would have something wrong. 50.

Speaker 2 50 what? 50. 50 million? 50 bucks?

Speaker 2 There's just no way. How about you? What about you?

Speaker 2 Probably

Speaker 2 10 million. One punch.
Yeah, because

Speaker 2 you will when he hits me. Trust me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The moment he punches me,

Speaker 2 you just.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I would, you know what? 10 million.
10 million because that's enough to leave my family. I've got to win a ring with Mike Tyson.
No. For 50 million.
Okay.

Speaker 2 And I was in your corner.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God, the funniest coach.

Speaker 2 No, no. You're not boxing.
You're not boxing.

Speaker 2 You're just going to take a punch from him, right? Well, I'm just going to run as fast as I can. Oh, so you're saying you want to do a round? No.
If I took took a punch, it'd be 10 million.

Speaker 2 To fight would be, I would never want to do the whole round. Yeah.
I mean, 100 million.

Speaker 2 I think as your corner man, I'm just being like, I'm sorry. The whole time you're just saying, I'm sorry.
Yeah, yeah. The moment we touch gloves.
Yeah, yeah. Sorry, dude.

Speaker 2 I'll take care of things. Yeah, you'll have to.
Yeah, yeah. You won't have a choice.
Eric will fill in.

Speaker 2 Because you would definitely. He's my cut man.
Yeah. Come on, man.
I'm about to leave. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I honestly think that you wouldn't be able to do bad bad friends for a year at least yeah yeah and then the moment i get knocked out all you hear is hey hey hey and cosby's in the audience yeah

Speaker 2 let me ask you this if you were in prison with cosby yeah

Speaker 2 what are your night talks like oh i'm sharing a cell i'm a cell you're a cellmate and you're you it's a bunk bed you know i mean he probably gets top bunk oh so scary that he gets on top i don't want him bottom bunk well you don't why oh you're right i can feel him climbing up then if i'm feeling come down he would swing down so fast he'd be right on top of you you'd never see right okay I want top.

Speaker 2 He would jump right on you. Right.
So you're laying there, and it's like, can you sleep?

Speaker 2 I think that's what I would ask for.

Speaker 2 Are you awake? He's like, just sitting here with my thoughts.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and then what would I ask? Like, what was the Cosby show like? Was it fun?

Speaker 2 No, what I would do is like, no, I would be honest.

Speaker 2 I would be honest. Yeah.
I'm like, I mean, he's a rapist, but I'm here with Cosby.

Speaker 2 I have a compliment, so I'm going to be like. You would compliment him? You know, in terms of comedy,

Speaker 2 you did a lot for us.

Speaker 2 And then I'd be like,

Speaker 2 Bill Cosby himself, like, I remember going to camp. This really happened.
I was in camp, and my cousin had Bill Cosby himself on just, you know, his record. Cassette.
Oh, the cassette, though.

Speaker 2 Right in the car. And I remember the fucking dental, the dentist bit.
Oh, my God. Yeah.
So classic. Yeah.
And I remember as a kid just crying, laughing. Yeah.
It was so good.

Speaker 2 I mean, the album was incredibly good. It's an incredible album.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Also, here's what I love about just as a stand-up in that specific.

Speaker 2 You like him as a guy more than a stand-up, though. No, I think that that special also shows pacing.
His timing was great.

Speaker 2 No, it's also, there's like gaps of him just sitting there and contemplating and taking his time. Well, that's what was cool.
And it was such a, it's a cool like control of the room

Speaker 2 and confidence. he was just he was he was um he was very influential but hannibal burris all it took was hannibal one like at a show to just be like

Speaker 2 y'all don't even know to bill cosby a rabbit and then it would just blew everything up

Speaker 2 it was wild that all it took was a stand-up comedian to blow up another stand-up comedian that had been that i that people had talked about him roofing people for years it's also there was like already women out there accusing him of roofing them of roofing and all that stuff and then just one comic does that what an incredible.

Speaker 2 What a crazy, what a crazy roller coaster. And now he's out.
What a crazy 10 years, though. If he showed up to the store tonight, you're on tonight.
Yeah. He shows up.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Are you going to stay and do the show with him?

Speaker 2 Well, if I had to bring him up, I would do what Martin Lawrence does if he has to bring me up. He just leaves.
He'll leave. Yeah, he doesn't even say you're nice.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So like the comic has to bring all the other comics on. What Martin Lawrence will do is just walk off stage.
Yeah. And then you just walk on stage.
Like,

Speaker 2 no one knows you're going up. So you just kind of walk up on stage.

Speaker 2 Hey,

Speaker 2 I'm not more time for Martin. It's so insane.
It's so insane. I don't know why, and he knows that he's doing that.
Yeah. He's been there enough where he's seen other people bring other people up.

Speaker 2 Also, can I say this about him? I hate that. Is I used to open for him.
For Martin Lawrence?

Speaker 2 Well, what happened was at the store, he used to do these like week, these main room shows, like on a Wednesday, Thursday.

Speaker 2 And he'd just be like, somebody would come up to me and go, Martin wants you to do open

Speaker 2 what do you mean oh Martin wants you to open the show yeah so I would go up before him but I was beating the green room and he wouldn't look at me and every question that I'd have was through his road manager shut up yeah so I go can you ask he's right here I go can you ask Martin how do you how he wants me to bring him up did you try to talk to him at one point and he just every time I talk to him it's almost as if I'm not there

Speaker 2 like I'm like you know an Aboriginal aboriginal like i'm not there right so it's like so can you and then he'll go and then mike will tell you know martin yeah what should you say tell him to say

Speaker 2 you know what i mean i'm right here you know tell him to say this and then he would tell me so it would he didn't even look at you no so it would be like i would get the same information twice

Speaker 2 right because i had to get it through he's like tell him to do 15 minutes he's like martin i'd like you to do 15 minutes and this is another reason why i know were you cool with him i love him i mean he's nice no but i mean like like, would you go say hi to him if you saw him?

Speaker 2 He wouldn't know who I was. He wouldn't see me.
But it would still be fun to go say hi to him. Yeah.
Hey, Martin. But here's how I knew.
And then he would ask his friend, who the fuck is that?

Speaker 2 And he'd go, who the fuck are you? Where I am in the black community in terms of

Speaker 2 where I stand. Super low.

Speaker 2 I've asked him in your life. But you're very low.
But this is how I knew.

Speaker 2 So one time when I was doing Game On, did I tell you the story? No. I was with Keegan.

Speaker 2 And Keegan and I are talking. Because, you know, I I was on Mad TV with Keegan for years.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then he sees Cedric the entertainer.

Speaker 2 And he goes, yo, yo, Cedric. He goes, come on.
Let's go say hi. So I rum with Keegan.
Oh, yeah. Right?

Speaker 2 Then they hug, do a kiss, right? I go, what's up, man? I say it. He doesn't even look at me.
Yeah, you don't exist. Yeah.
And he's just talking to Keegan.

Speaker 2 And I think I said one more, like, like 45 seconds later, I go, maybe he didn't hear me. They're talking.
I'm like, what's up?

Speaker 2 Nothing. Nothing.
So I just kind of walked away. Yeah, he doesn't want you there.
It was so pitiful. That's a black thing.
But why? Because a little Asian came running up.

Speaker 2 He doesn't want to pay any attention to you. I know, but it's like.
He's like, like, if I was seeing, if I saw John Cho,

Speaker 2 right? And some little black kid, you know what I mean? Like, I know John Cho, right? And I'm with this, you know, let's say I'm with.

Speaker 2 Jamar Neighbors. Littler.
Oh, you mean a little physical? Doc Willis. Oh, Doc Willis.
So

Speaker 2 there used to be be a parking guy, Lockey, and he has a very funny stand-up. Yeah, he's hilarious.
He's named Doc Willis.

Speaker 2 I run up with Doc to see John Cho. If Doc said, what's up, man? John would definitely look at him and go, what's up, little guy? He'd go, hey, what's up? Hey, what's up, John Cho? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 That's what Doc used to sound like, hey, what's up, John Cho? There's Doc Willis right there. I love Doc Willis.
We love him. He's so cute.
Why do you say little? You don't say little.

Speaker 2 You're the same height. I know, but for Black Eye, that's not good.
Right. Yeah, for Black Eye, it's short.
Yeah. Right.
For an Asian guy.

Speaker 2 When I shot the movie in Hungary, and I worked, because I dominated

Speaker 2 Kevin.

Speaker 2 I'm taller. You're taller than Kevin? Yeah.
Are you really? 100%. By how much? By like this much.
By like two inches?

Speaker 2 He could kill me because he's buffed. He's huge.
Yeah, yeah. But I'm this much taller.
And so I'd be like,

Speaker 2 what's up? First time ever.

Speaker 2 So Kevin, what's up? So you want to rehearse real quick? It was great.

Speaker 2 It was great. Did you make a comment about how you're taller than him? How tall is Kevin Hart? Between 5'2 ⁇ and 5'4.
That's so funny. It says between.

Speaker 2 Between, like his weight, like it fluctuates.

Speaker 2 We did mine. I'm 5'4 here.
Remember, we did the fucking measurement. 5'3 is what we learned.

Speaker 2 We did the height. We did the thing on 5'4, right? He was 5'3.
Yeah, Rudy, what was it?

Speaker 2 5'5'3. 5'3'3.
Right? So he's 5'2.

Speaker 2 It says between 5'2 and 5'4. He's not 5'4 ⁇ .
It seems like he might fluctuate.

Speaker 2 Bro,

Speaker 2 I saw him like 30 times there.

Speaker 2 And every time I had the thought, I'm taller. Maybe he's having, maybe he was having a bad height day.

Speaker 2 Sometimes you have good height days.

Speaker 2 You know when you see it. No, I'm taller.
You are? Yeah, I'm taller. People are blown away at how much taller I am than you.
People think, they see us together at this desk.

Speaker 2 They think we're the same size. I know.
And then they see us. And then we put up a photo and they're like, holy shit.
It's a gigantic size difference. Are we going to keep doing live shows?

Speaker 2 Yeah, we're going to do Tuesday, right? Yeah, we'll do Tuesday at Down at Brea. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 We'll go down.

Speaker 2 But I got to say, we have to make a real tour out of this because we're doing chosen Cancun. Going to Cancun.

Speaker 2 And by the way, last night we told people it was Cabo.

Speaker 2 Like three people were like, how do we go to Cabo?

Speaker 2 Move on. Okay, go to Cabo.
But you, what I realized last night was that if you and I, so if we went on tour, uh-huh, we did 30-minute sets

Speaker 2 each, and then

Speaker 2 did Time Together.

Speaker 2 Time Together at the end, great show. I know we should do it.
Jules can come up and open. I would, I cannot wait.
Oh, can you come on Tuesday? To not open, yes, yes, yes, yes, no, to hang.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but also, you have to introduce us. No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Speaker 2 yeah,

Speaker 2 you have to. Jules, all you have to do is this.
Is show up. It's not hard.
No. We're not asking you to write jokes or to perform.

Speaker 2 You're just going to walk up in front of the audience.

Speaker 2 Just shut the fuck up. That's it.
And just listen. That's it.
All right. And you're going to go, hi, everybody.
Can you say that? Do it now.

Speaker 2 Hi, everybody. No, it's a room full of people.
This is not a library.

Speaker 2 Just... Just vocalize.
Hey, everybody.

Speaker 7 Hi, everybody.

Speaker 2 Great. That's good.

Speaker 2 Hey, Jules every people will cheer oh yeah as you will you cheer right oh yeah are you guys ready for the um you know T2 Bobby you said I just have to introduce you that is what he's doing

Speaker 2 you can't say hi by everybody and just walk off stage no I'll just say here's Tito Bobby and Tito Andrew yeah yeah but with enthusiasm with enthusiasm it's gotta sound like you like it yeah

Speaker 2 see

Speaker 2 can I just tell you something that happened the other day with her

Speaker 2 so we're in the fucking driveway and our neighbors are cool guys. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Young guys. And they play music.
They're in a band? Yeah, and they're young. They're like 20, 21.
Yeah, her age. Okay.
And they're like,

Speaker 2 hey, guys, we're doing a party next door. You guys are welcome to come by.
Great music. Beers,

Speaker 2 have fun. Bunch of young people.
Okay. Next door to my house.
So we meet Kalila and Jules. We're ready to go to go get ramen or get something to eat.

Speaker 2 And we looked at Jules and we go,

Speaker 2 I think you should go. No, send her by herself.
You guys don't want to go. Yeah.
Okay. Because they're young people.
We know them. It's safe.
And she's like, no, no.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, yeah, I think, because she's been trapped in the house for a year. She's going to hang out with anybody her own age.
Why didn't you want to go over?

Speaker 3 I wanted to, but I'm shy.

Speaker 2 Right. So then.
You live next to. I know.
So I get in the car and that, it's two houses down.

Speaker 2 We just kind of stop her from the house and we look up. There's lights.
You see people having beers and having a good time, right? And we just go get out.

Speaker 2 Oh, you kicked her out of the car? Yeah. Did you go? And then, so this is, she goes, okay, so just go up the stairs.
We go, yeah. So we drop her off.

Speaker 2 We do a U-turn later, come back up to see if she went. She's not there anymore.
She went home.

Speaker 2 She went home. I knew you went home.
Why did you do that?

Speaker 3 I went up and then I tried to knock.

Speaker 2 You don't knock at a fucking party.

Speaker 7 You just walk in. I didn't know.

Speaker 2 We got to teach this kid. I don't know everything.
Yeah, yeah. All you have to do is show up.
If it's an open door like that, if it's a party, it just means come on in, say hi.

Speaker 2 And you just walk up to someone. You knew the guys, right? Didn't you know them? No.
You never met those guys. But you knew that our neighbors and they're young and stuff.

Speaker 2 And there was a bunch of people up there. Are they famous kids? I don't know who they are.
Probably YouTube people. But then...
Were YouTube people? That's right.

Speaker 2 And we, and we, um.

Speaker 2 So Khaled and I went to eat. We came back.
And she was out there. And she's still at home.
So you know what we did?

Speaker 2 Beat the shit out of her. We took her there.
Oh, you really walked her over there? Yeah. Really? Yeah.
And we go up there. And she went up there, and this is what she does.
This is so pitiful.

Speaker 2 She goes up there, the music plate, she puts on her video camera, and she just does it, like a, you know what I mean? Like

Speaker 2 a panoramic video thing, right? And then she pushes pause, she runs back downstairs just to prove that she went.

Speaker 2 Did you have anything to drink?

Speaker 3 They gave me something.

Speaker 2 Oh my god, was Bill Cosby there?

Speaker 2 Hey, hey, hey, Jules, drink this. Wait a minute.
They gave you a drink, you drank it. Yeah.
Booze.

Speaker 3 I don't know, but it tasted like alcohol.

Speaker 2 And then did you enjoy the drink? It was fine. How long did you stay?

Speaker 3 20 minutes.

Speaker 2 That's not, that's not even real. That's real.

Speaker 2 That's why when we go to Cancun. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 When are you 21? Next year. You can only have to be 18 to drink in Mexico.
Oh, that's right. Yeah.
Right. So you can drink.

Speaker 2 You can drink and party. There's going to be, it's Cancun, so it's going to be a lot lot of young people.
I mean, I think that's the whole play. I don't know why we're going.
I mean,

Speaker 2 they're going to be way young people. And then the

Speaker 2 wheelchairs for us. There's going to be parties.
You're drinking. You're doing drugs.
Because Jets for Laughs are going to have those night parties that you have. A big time.
Big time at the bars.

Speaker 2 So you're going to be partying with the best comics on planet Earth. Your buddy Tom Seguro is going to be there.
Tommy's going to be there. Anthony Jasselnick.
Jazelnick's going to be there.

Speaker 2 I don't even know. I'd have to look up the...
Yeah, yeah, but a lot of big people. A lot.
A lot of big names. And you're going to be able to drink there.
Will you want to party party there? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Jeffrey, Jeffrey Epstein, he'll be there. Jeffrey Epstein will be there.
He'll be there, I think so.

Speaker 2 Wait, so here you go. So far for the Just for Laughs lineup that we're going to do in Cancun,

Speaker 2 it is Jim Jeffries, Tom Segura, Nikki Glazer, Steve-O, Nicole Bayer, Jay Farrow, Girls Gotta Eat with the podcast.

Speaker 2 Donnell Rawlings, Ron Funches, Goddamn Comedy Gem, Deborah Giovanni, and of course, yours truly, the Bad Friends crew. That's a lot of good people that you can party with.
You excited?

Speaker 2 Yeah, couldn't care less. All right, let me show you something.
This I got sent this.

Speaker 8 This is wild.

Speaker 8 Hey, guys, I'm finally Korean. I've transitioned.
I'm so, so happy. I'm doing this.

Speaker 9 Just had a brow lift as well.

Speaker 8 So I'm so happy. Finally, I've been trapped in the wrong body for eight years.

Speaker 8 And that's the worst feeling in the world when you're trapped and you don't feel like you can be yourself. But finally, I'm Korean.
I can be myself. Yep.
And I'm so, so happy.

Speaker 2 Okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Okay. We here at Bad Friends are very promotional for everyone being who they want to be, right?

Speaker 2 Look at me. Right, right.
We're being serious. Yeah.
I don't care if you were born a race or a gender and you want to switch it up. We are happy for you.
Whatever you want to do. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That being said. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Why would you want to be Korean? Of all the fun ones.

Speaker 2 You could have been Japanese is way more fun.

Speaker 2 Or Chinese. I mean, they're taking over the world, these guys.
God, it's so crazy.

Speaker 2 It's so crazy that you say this.

Speaker 2 Because.

Speaker 2 Why would you want to be Korean? If I was going to change my race, I wouldn't go to Korean.

Speaker 2 Japanese, at least, at first. I mean, they're the best.
They really aren't. The Japanese are the best.
They're not the best.

Speaker 7 The Japanese are the best.

Speaker 2 They're good. They're good.
Who's better? Japanese or Korean?

Speaker 7 Japanese. Japanese.

Speaker 2 Really?

Speaker 2 She loves anime. Yeah.
You're asking me. I wonder how many white people want to be Filipino.

Speaker 2 I wonder.

Speaker 2 I would be Filipino.

Speaker 2 So if you had a choice between Korean and Filipino, Korean, and Filipino. I'd be Filipino.
Why?

Speaker 2 Because the color of their skin is beautiful. Look at that brown.
like it's brown. It's like, and yours is like.

Speaker 2 It's beautiful. It's not.
It's angelic.

Speaker 2 It's urine. It's almost like

Speaker 2 urine. It's urinic.
It's urinic. It's not urinic.
It's not urinic.

Speaker 2 It's urinic in nature. Look at how gorgeous their skin tone is.

Speaker 2 It's beautiful brown skin. It's beautiful.

Speaker 2 I would easily be Filipino over Korean, for sure.

Speaker 2 Let's ask the other two white dorks in here. What about you guys, whites? What do you want to be?

Speaker 2 Here, let's Pete go first. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 So scared so scared like it's just such a puss I would choose Korean I like their movies what Korean movies do you love Pete oh my god the the uh old boy uh the uh uh trilogy the uh sympathy uh sympathy yeah

Speaker 2 wow he does know um mr vengeance

Speaker 2 no sympathy for uh uh mr vengeance and lady vengeance lady vengeance yeah wow pete yeah yeah

Speaker 2 Pete, are you married to a Korean woman? No, to a Spanish woman. Oh, right.
Oh, George, you're married to a Korean, right? Yeah, okay. I go Korean all the way.
There we go. There we go.
What a bitch.

Speaker 2 George, you're such a bitch. Have your own stance, asshole.
But here's the thing. You know, growing up, I knew secretly, a lot of Koreans growing up wanted to be secretly white.

Speaker 2 I know, I love it. Say it again.
Anyang aseo. What is onyang aseyo? Hello.
Anyang means hello. Yeah.
What's aseyo? Hello.

Speaker 2 No, I know what it means is. Hello.

Speaker 2 Hello, hello.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's an an extra hello. You know how I know what Anyan means? Why? From one of the best shows on television? Or, well, that was, I mean, was.
What?

Speaker 2 What's probably one of the greatest comedies ever assembled on television? Adventure Time.

Speaker 2 No, it's. It's.

Speaker 2 Adventure Time has to be one of them. Jason Bateman.
Was he in Adventure Time?

Speaker 2 What's the best show that Jason Bateman's ever done? He was in a. Oh, I know.
It was on.

Speaker 2 I did the show. So did I.
And I forgot it.

Speaker 2 You go to jail when you get.

Speaker 2 What do you when you get you go to jail when you get purgatory?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Chained.
Chained. Yeah.
Chained in purgatory. When you get.
No, it's another.

Speaker 2 Let me guess. Don't, don't, please.
I'm giving you the easiest hint. No, you're not.
Give me another one. A police officer puts handcuffs on someone.

Speaker 2 They just got what? Arrested for development. Arrested for development? Arrested for development.
Arrested development. Arrested development.
Yeah, Anyang. They called him Anyang.

Speaker 2 They didn't understand that. He was saying Anyang saying hello.
They thought his name was Anyang. Did you do the new one or the old one? Sadly, I did the new new one because I did the new one as well.

Speaker 2 Oh, you did? Yeah, yeah. I thought you were going to mock me.
No. I did the new one, but I actually enjoyed it.
Bateman was really cool. I wasn't on with Bateman.
Oh, really?

Speaker 2 No, I played a female gang member in a prison. That's funny.
And then I tried to shank somebody with a noodle. I did a ramen shank.
God, that's funny. Right? And I, but then...
Raw ramen.

Speaker 2 Yeah, raw ramen. But then they poured hot water on it and it dissolved.

Speaker 2 That's funny. it was me where there he is where is it there's bobby right there yeah right in the first the first one the very first one yeah

Speaker 2 yeah poke poke put the first one the first one the very first one that one

Speaker 2 so that's amy hill she's on magnum pi you look hot thank you i like her on the right amy hill yeah she's great she was great in um uh next friday oh she was yeah that she was on next friday yeah she's like what's up bitches yeah she was funny as dude she's so amy um is a good friend of mine i love her so much Before we jump, let's go back to Oil London.

Speaker 2 I have to go back to this

Speaker 2 person because it's a they, correct? Correct. All right.
So they came out

Speaker 2 as Korean. Yeah.
And this transition's been going on for quite a while.

Speaker 2 What I was saying is that I never thought in my mind, because, you know, when I went to Korean church, the Korean kids, you know, secretly, we all wanted to be white. Of course you did.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And it's like.

Speaker 2 But then as you get older,

Speaker 2 there we go.

Speaker 9 Hold on. Anywhere online as British, because I identify as Korean.
That's just my culture. That's my home country.
That's exactly how I look now.

Speaker 9 And I also identify as Jimin. That's my Korean name.
But not only that, I just

Speaker 10 know it's a little bit confusing for some people.

Speaker 9 Nobody's ever come out as Jimin or Korean.

Speaker 10 But this is something that you guys know. If you've followed my journey for the last eight years, I've really struggled with identity issues.

Speaker 2 He better have shaved his penis down.

Speaker 2 Oh, he had a little snip snip. He needs the snip snip.
They're like, and now for the final stage. Because if he has, like, you know, a thick dick, a thick white dick, it's not going to work for me.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You want to be Korean? Chop it off.
Chop it off. Yeah.
Yeah. That's the final step.
Yeah. That's the final step.
This is so interesting to me because I can see both sides of this argument.

Speaker 2 He's got to darken the dick, too. Yeah, you got to tan it up.
Well, he's got to get purple.

Speaker 2 He's going to way too white to be kidnapped.

Speaker 2 Korean penises have purple shading in it. Do they really? Yeah.
Like the sack is very dark. Well, your sack is very dark.
No, our Yours. As a people.
I think I've seen other.

Speaker 2 Google, are Korean sacks always dark? Are Korean balls, nut sacks always dark? Because yours is oddly dark. No, it's...

Speaker 2 I'm not an anomaly. No, I think you are.

Speaker 2 If there was a dark sack competition in Korea, I wouldn't win it. You get close.
I would take third. Third or fourth.

Speaker 2 You'd be on the podium. You'd place.
I would probably, yeah. Do Asians have small testicles? No.
No.

Speaker 2 South Korea nutrage. Family has a darker history of.

Speaker 2 What does that say? Yeah, yeah. Why is nutsack skin darker than the rest of me? A Korean man's plight.
That's, well, okay. You got dark sacks, bud.
Yeah. Why do you think that is? I don't know.

Speaker 2 So what do we think about this?

Speaker 2 People, are you mad about white people transitioning into Korean? I like it. You like it? Yeah, it's proud.
But he's not, but do you, but is it okay? They weren't born Korean.

Speaker 2 Just because you grew up in Korea, but do you think it's okay to change your structure of your face? No, it's like...

Speaker 2 That's how it is. The rules have changed.
You are who you say you are. Okay.
What are you? I'm Korean. Okay, me too.

Speaker 2 Okay. I am Korean.
I accept it.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 you know what? As a Korean,

Speaker 2 I hate Koreans. They make me sick.

Speaker 2 They're the worst people that have ever. They're disgusting.
Why? Because I'm Korean. I can say that.
Wow. See, since you're Korean now, right? Since you're Korean now, right?

Speaker 2 You could just freely say.

Speaker 2 Of course I can. Yeah, yeah.
As a Korean, say it. As a Korean,

Speaker 2 I can say it. Yeah, yeah.
I can say it. Yeah, Yeah, yeah.
Do it. Korean? I can.
Yeah. I don't need to.
But you won't. I don't need to.

Speaker 2 Okay. I don't need to.
Because I think that's racial. Because you're not Korean.
Yes, I am. Yeah.
I am Korean. Yeah.
I am who I say I am. We've got a great game now.
We're going to have

Speaker 2 Oscar-winning

Speaker 2 actors, and you guys can guess what

Speaker 2 movie they actually won their Oscar for. Ooh.

Speaker 2 Does everyone get a shot? And then that's what she would do. Oh, who is that, Rudy? Who is that, Rude?

Speaker 3 I don't know. Can I guess like what movie?

Speaker 2 Sure. Sure.

Speaker 2 Godfather. Yep.
He wasn't the godfather.

Speaker 3 He is.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And that was crazy that she announced that.

Speaker 2 How do you know that? I don't know. What was his character's name?

Speaker 2 How about this? If you know his fucking character's name,

Speaker 2 Okay, give me a hint. No.
No. Because I'll give you $100,000.
Hint? $100,000. thousand dollars holy shit

Speaker 2 a hundred grand will you really give her a hundred grand yeah but she's not gonna be able to get it there's no way maybe she will because godfather was a long shot because she would have to know the family's name in the godfather she doesn't know that maybe she does i don't know yeah yeah look at your phone

Speaker 2 don't look at your phone his name was uh in the godfather's name was michael coral corleone

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, yeah. You could have let her guess Michael.
Yeah, yeah. Rudy gets a point if you can guess the actor name, and you guys get a point if you can guess the Oscar that

Speaker 2 they won. Who? Which movie?

Speaker 2 I think I can give it a shot, but go ahead. What's his name?

Speaker 3 Give me a hint.

Speaker 2 It breaks my heart because he's literally one of the greatest actors. That's ever lived.
That's ever lived. Mm-hmm.
Ever lived. Yeah.

Speaker 2 The fact that you don't know who Rayleigh Yoda is is just so annoying to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's Rayleigh Liota.

Speaker 2 Incredible. Okay, so what movie did you want to Oscar for? What movie did you want to Oscar for? Do you know his name for real? No.
Al Pacino. Al Pacino.

Speaker 2 What movie? Dog Day Afternoon? I got it. Sent him a woman.
Yes. I get a point? Yes.

Speaker 2 I love this stuff.

Speaker 2 One for me.

Speaker 2 Don't you think Dog Day Afternoon was a better movie?

Speaker 2 Anaka! That was a great movie. One of the great.
And I like the documentary about

Speaker 2 the real guy. Yeah.
Did you see that one? You know how strange it was? Just real quick, we're talking about Dog Day Afternoon and how powerful the movie was. Here's a guy who has.

Speaker 2 It's like, what a great story of an emotional breakdown of someone who's trying to

Speaker 2 rub it, and then is,

Speaker 2 for those that don't know, you're a little late to the game. Then comes out.

Speaker 2 It's about coming out, his sexuality coming out. Yeah.
I mean, the movie is so fucking deep and weird and good and unexpected. Yeah.
If you've never seen Dog Day Afternoon, you don't know.

Speaker 2 What's his name?

Speaker 3 Can I guess just the movie he was in?

Speaker 2 He's been in a lot of movies. So many films.

Speaker 3 But he's in the silence of the lambs.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yes, that's true.
What's his name?

Speaker 3 He was the doctor in the silence of the lambs.

Speaker 2 Cannibal doctor. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but still a doctor nonetheless.
Anthony Hopkins. What did he win an Oscar for, Bob?

Speaker 2 That's a hard one. That's a hard one.
It's what? Two movies. Oh, he won two Oscars, you're saying?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Silence of the Lambs.
Mm-hmm. Yep.
But what's the other one? Just this year.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Wait, just what? Just this year? Just this year, 2021.
I didn't watch the fucking Oscars. I have no idea what happened this year.
Wait, what was he in this year?

Speaker 2 I know he was nominated because Steve Yoon, Yun,

Speaker 2 was nominated as well for Midori.

Speaker 2 Minari. Minari.
That's what I said. Yeah, Midori sour.

Speaker 2 Give us a hint about the movie that he was in. It's not the mother, but.

Speaker 2 The father. Yes.

Speaker 2 Good hint.

Speaker 2 I have no idea what that is.

Speaker 3 She's Captain Marvel.

Speaker 2 She's Captain fucking Marvel.

Speaker 3 I don't know her name.

Speaker 2 That's so funny. That's so funny.
You know why? Why? Because these white actresses, to her, they're all the same. She couldn't tell that.
She thinks that's Jennifer Lawrence. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Isn't that Jeffer Lawrence? All right.

Speaker 2 She thinks they're all the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 She won for Room. Yes.
Right?

Speaker 2 Room. Got a point.
So you got a point. 1-1? Yeah, 1-1.
Okay, go ahead.

Speaker 2 I got two. Probably is two.
Okay. No, Science and Lambs, we both said.
What do you mean? That doesn't count.

Speaker 2 Okay, I know who that is. Let her guess.
I've never seen him. Are you really?

Speaker 2 He has a famous brother who is also an actor. How do you like them, apples? These are way too specific.
She'll never know who this is. This is Casey Affleckle.
It's Ben Affleck's brother.

Speaker 2 Ben Affleck's brother. Who, when he received his Oscar, was.

Speaker 2 I saw the movie, but I forgot what the movie is called. That he did? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Something about the sea. It was called Old Man in the Sea.
No, what was it called? It was called

Speaker 2 Clause Klaus. Sea.
No, I know. Manchester.
Manchester by the Sea. Yes.
Yeah. You can't get it.
Nah, we'll just wash it. We'll wash it.
It's a wash. It's a wash.
Ooh. Kate Blanche.
Yes.

Speaker 2 And what did she win for?

Speaker 2 I don't know. Come on.

Speaker 2 You know?

Speaker 3 Thor Agnarok.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 I don't think Thor has won any Oscars. Thor Ragnarok.
Do you think Thor at the movie Thor has won an Oscar? Yeah, I don't know what you won won an Oscar for. Do you? I'm trying to think.

Speaker 2 Was it really a long time ago, Pete? 2014. No, not that long ago.

Speaker 2 Let me ask.

Speaker 2 Let me guess. Okay.
Blue Jasmine. Yes.
Damn, Woody. Is that three? Yeah, it's three.

Speaker 2 Charlize.

Speaker 2 I got this one. Yeah.
Fast and Furious 9. I saw it last night.
It was so good. Yeah.
She only won for Monster. So good in it.
Monster. Yes, Monster.
Correct. So I get another point, you didn't say it.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 Charlie Betteron. At this point, this is for us.
The listeners don't even give a shit about this at all. Okay, this guy right here

Speaker 2 is the greatest actor.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 not of all time. But one of yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It would be a really strong argument that he was the greatest of all time. You're not going to include someone like, you know,

Speaker 2 Mel Gibson in there? No.

Speaker 2 This guy right here, do you know his name? Three names. It's three names.

Speaker 3 He gave me a hint.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay, so his middle name is the opposite of Knight.

Speaker 2 Day.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And his last name sounds like a group of people that you love.

Speaker 2 Brown.

Speaker 2 That's true. Yeah, yeah.
Day Brown. So he actually got it.
Day Brown. Day Brown.
Yeah. What's the first name?

Speaker 3 Ian.

Speaker 2 Ian Day Brown. Ian Day Brown.
That's Ian Dan Brown. Ian De Brown.
That's what they call him. Ian De Brown.
Dan De Brown. Daniel Day Lewis.
Day Lewis. Daniel Day Lewis, what did he win for, Bob?

Speaker 2 There will be blood. Yes.
He's got three Oscars.

Speaker 2 Holy sh, three? Three Oscars. Lincoln.
Yep. There will be blood.
And what? What's that about feet? What did you just say? Oh, I know. My left foot.
Oh, yes.

Speaker 2 My left foot.

Speaker 2 Come on. You remember this guy.

Speaker 3 Denzel Washington.

Speaker 2 No, that's Dave Chappelle. That's Dave Chappelle right there.
I didn't know. Yeah.
That's Dave Chappelle. He got COVID.
That's what he looks like when he got COVID.

Speaker 2 That's Dave Chappelle post-COVID. He did post-COVID.
That's what happens when he gets COVID. Yeah.
You did his monologue last week. Yeah.
So what do you want an Oscar for?

Speaker 2 Just throw the name that you did the monologue for.

Speaker 2 Training Day. Yeah.
Training Day.

Speaker 2 Did he win for Training Day? Yes. Yes.
Yeah, that was the movie. You get a point.
Oh, you like her. You know her.

Speaker 3 It's either Emma Watson or Emma Stone.

Speaker 2 God, I love you so much, Rudy, that I say that. I say stuff like that.
Yeah. Because I can't tell.
Yeah, me either. This is Emma Stone.
Emma Stone. Okay.
I don't know. Emma Watson is

Speaker 2 Harry Potter. I don't know what Emma Stone got an Oscar for.
La La Land. La La Land.
Oh, if you get a point.

Speaker 2 I mean, sure. This is.
You're the first. Okay, yeah, no, no, you're right.
So go ahead.

Speaker 2 Rudy. I think, I guess.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Terrorist and Ford.

Speaker 2 Indiana Jones.

Speaker 2 For which one? For which one? Temple of Doom? Oh, no, the Sleeping Left Eye.

Speaker 2 The Wandering Left Eye. The Wandering left eye.

Speaker 2 Oh, this is one of the best.

Speaker 2 One of the best actresses of all time. Yeah, probably.
I would say that. Probably, yeah.
Probably. It's like her in streep.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Honestly,

Speaker 2 what this is going to do, Jules, is we're just going to go back home, and I have to educate you on this shit. You got to watch all these films.
Because this, she, you should know. Who is she?

Speaker 2 Frances McDormand.

Speaker 2 McDormand? McDormand. Yeah.
She is married to Ethan Cohen.

Speaker 2 Yes. Is it Ethan? No, no.
Or Joel. Joel Cohen.
No, wait.

Speaker 2 No, maybe it is Ethan Cohen. There's two brothers, Ethan and Joel Cohen.
They're great directors.

Speaker 2 And they did, they usually use her. She was also in

Speaker 2 Raising Arizona. I don't know if you remember.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, she was. Yes, she was.
She was in Raising Arizona. She's done probably a lot of them.
But the best one she did was the first one, which was Blood Simple.

Speaker 2 You think it's her best movie? I mean, it was a great movie, Blood Simple. If you watch it, it's it's like low-budget, and it's her first movie with these guys, and in the 80s, it's pretty good.

Speaker 2 But sometimes you have an affinity for the original. Like,

Speaker 2 people love Bottle Rocket, but I don't know if that's as good as people want it to be. I love that movie.
It's good, but I think it's a you like it because it's original. She was in

Speaker 2 Fargo? Yes.

Speaker 2 What's the one about that

Speaker 2 where her daughter gets sexually assaulted in that town? Is that it, too? Which one's it called? It's the one that she just did, Norman Land? Yes, she won it for Norman Land?

Speaker 2 Yep, yep, just this year, and the one that I'm talking about, it's called She's won three, right? So I got two of them already. What? Stop.
I know. What's the score so far, George? Oh, no, who cares?

Speaker 2 Yeah, this movie, this game is just like. It's like Bobby's taking it away with one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

Speaker 2 Here's George just putting his balls in your mouth, and he says it. Oh, Bobber,

Speaker 2 Bob, George. Let's move on, guys.
Andrew has five, and Rudy has five with a couple of double points. All right, Rudy.
I think Rudy won. I think we're done.