Rudy Gets Dengue Fever Feat. Erik Griffin

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Call 1-844-4OTESLA or visit Otesla.com for prescribing info, info about cost, and more. You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude.

You two are disgusting.

You two are something.

We're bad friends.

Welcome back to Bad Friends, baby.

Are we rolling?

We are rolling.

Huh?

We're rolling.

Are we rolling?

Rudy Jules is here.

Hello.

Hey, everybody.

I'm a big fat liar.

Andrew. Andrew.
Yeah, Bob. You're the worst.
Let me start this off the way that he had it on the show here. Okay.
Oh, yeah. Welcome back to Bad Friends.
You should have pulled your dick out of your head. Here's the real Bad Friends.

Welcome back to Good Friends.

We're here with Rudy Jules is back in town.

Good Friends, huh? Me and Eric Griff are back, baby.

Wait, we're going to be good friends or we have to be like-

Best friends.

Some sort of bathroom utensil brothers.

How about we be like the toenail clipper toothbrush bros whatever Rudy where were you I can't hear you is her mic not on you went to Hawaii no her mic's not on how much are you paying this chair hold on one second so what were you guys doing before I got here that this shit isn't ready to go 100 100%. That's exactly correct.
What's going on? George was sitting there in the seat. By the way, George is back.
George is sitting in the seat doing nothing. Go ahead and test it out.
Hello. Now we can hear.
This is like you board the plane, and then they're like, oh, you know what? The wings. Yeah.
Something's up with the wings so we can't fly yet. What were you doing? Yeah, what the fuck for the past i just i just came back from new york and they um it's so funny because they they were like we have to clean and disinfect the plane we clean and disinfect the plane before everybody gets on it right they say that every time the plane parked people got off within seconds they boarded that bitch i was like they didn't know did you clean it did you did you know there's a dude like they're good they're good get on no it's like they're not clean they're not cleaning they're spraying some sort of like disinfected i've seen it yeah i feel like we're like corn you know what i mean because they just come on we're gonna grow grow ears and yeah man i think that's the thing that and they're really adamant about the filtration system and don't worry.
When you get on a plane, you're basically saying, look, I may or may not get COVID, but I need to get where the fuck I'm going. Yes.
That was the whole point. That's what this is about.
So save this dog and pony show for someone else. There was a woman who complained about the middle seats not being open i talked about this and i was like you got in the you got in the on the tube with strangers you have you're done yeah no rights it's over yeah you can't complain about the middle seats this was a month ago too the middle seats are not are supposed to be blocked off she was like ma'am that's as of the first there's we're filling in all the seats now yeah she was like that wasn't on the ticket data and she's like ma'am you can leave you can get off yeah or you can go to atlanta yeah what do you want to do you know this is the same feeling i have about like people don't understand that you have a social contract yeah when you get on a plane yeah like so you're getting on the plane with others yeah so you don't get to act like this is your private jet bitch this is delta okay and you got other people on the plane.
I can't stand what people act like, oh. It's like, no, no, no, man.
I even feel the same way about apartment living. When you're living in an apartment, you have a contract with these other people who live here.
There's going to be noise. People are going to be walking around.
Coming and going. People are going to be coming and Yeah.
People that act like, oh, you're making too much noise. Hey, go buy a go buy six acres of land someplace, bitch.
And get out and get out. Get out.
When you're living here. Shut up.
Yeah. Shut up.
Yeah. I couldn't agree more.
I turn my music up louder. Fuck you.
It's like three o'clock in the afternoon or whatever it is. Excuse me, sir.
The music is loud. Yeah.
It's like you. You're living with other people.
Right. We're basically all house.
That's what an apartment is. No, you can't complain.
That's the problem. Once you live with other people, you learn.
And if you hate it that much, get out. Move far away.
Check this out, too. You live in a city.
You live in one of the most dense cities. What do you want me to do? This is what's going to happen.
There's noise. Imagine Bill Gates and Belinda Gates.
Rest in peace they live in like a 300 acre like mansion right they literally could live in the same house and never see each other and these motherfuckers still was like i gotta get away from you she was like in the other part of the estate there's servants and there's robots and shit you can be in your own area they don't exist she's in this mansion like this i can't stand him imagine living like you know you're in a two-bedroom apartment in resita she's she's uh she's putting out the putting out the woodwork do you know about this she's got her lawyers she's going in her lawyers are trying to they're like, and there's photos of him with Epstein.

And like,

they're trying to clip him every angle, man. How much money of his money does she need?

Well, here's the trick with her.

She's giving it all away.

Have you seen this?

I didn't get a piece of it.

Search how much money Melinda Gates has given away.

Well, they both have given away money.

I know, but this is her goal.

I think she wants to take all of his shit

just to give it away.

That's revenge.

Like the OJ people?

Yes, bro.

Yes.

She want to be in front of the courthouse burning his money look at that uh well where is it it's just melinda gates though if you can see what she's given she has this big philanthropic need to give away all of his money and she said her half that she got from him she's going to give away like 80 of it she wants all of it gone check it. Check it out.
Check it out. Ooh.
Right. Oh, you're going to give away 80% of $50 billion? Like, go fuck yourself, man.
Like, she acts like it's like, oh, I'm putting myself out and I'm giving away. I'm only going to have like $3 billion left.
Right. Like, fuck off, lady.
Fuck off. I want to see them, put it all into Bitcoin and then we'll see what happens.
No, I want to see the person that has only like $10,000 and they go, I'm giving all my money away to charity. That means something.
Yeah, that does. You're right.
You're right. Well, what can you even do with all that money? I mean, look.
That's what I'm saying. You have to give it away.
The foundation spent $5 billion in 2019 on programs in the United States around the world, excluding management costs from 94 to 18. They've given away $36 billion.
Yeah, that's not what I was looking for. But anyway, i do know she gave she's trying to give away all of his money which i think is a bad bitch move she's like fuck this dude i'm gonna bury him i'm gonna give away all this money my thing is like this what does she think the relationship was gonna be like first of all he's crazy nerd so she right right but he's got like all this money You think he was going to be a regular husband? I got $50 billion.
Give me $50 billion. Me and Rachel are going to have a whole different relationship.
I give you $50 billion and go, Rachel? Who's Rachel? Who's Rachel? No, I'd still be with her, but she would be on the other side of the... And then she'd leave you and take your half.

Yeah, I know.

That's what happened.

Rudy, where did you come back from, Rudy?

Yeah, you went to Hawaii.

Welcome back, Rudy.

Hi.

Hi.

You look tan.

Do you miss Bobby?

No.

No.

No way.

I want to tell you about my...

Bobby called me the other day when I was in New York.

I'll tell you about that.

I want to hear about Hawaii. Did you have fun? Yeah, we went diving, snorkeling, and hiking.
Yeah? Did you catch any fish? No, we didn't. You didn't spear any fish? Weren't you guys- Wait, hold on.
Yeah, in Las Vegas, but not in Hawaii. Oh, I thought you did that in Hawaii, too.
No, we didn't. Hold on a second.
Can you tell me about all that boring shit you just said? Tell me the good stuff. Did you meet any dudes? Did you like, you know...
Look at her face. What happened? It was like a pool boy that was flirting with you.
It's a strict rule that it's a no dude policy. And if she did meet somebody, she knows she can't say it in front of me because Papa Santino doesn't put up with that.
She's not dating until she's 30 35 you're right what did you wait what'd you say did you meet somebody i was in the post office today to mail something you see what you've done to her i know she went to hawaii a beautiful setting couldn't meet a dude yeah at the post office she's like oh what's up cutie no but there was there was a guy and he was cute

and then he asked me

if I was Rudy. Really? Yeah.
And what did you say? Yeah. Yeah, and? And then he said I was doing good in the podcast.
Okay, and? And I said bye. She's a genius.
Cut to them in the back of the room. No, she knows.
She says, yes, thank you. Leave me alone.
You should have made him pay for your shipping. What were you at the post office for? I was returning my dress from prom.
Oh, do we have pictures of that? No. Come on.
I have pictures in my Instagram of my dress.

Oh, you do?

Who'd you go to prom with?

Myself.

Like a boss?

How was prom?

It was really fun.

What did you do?

What happened?

Give me some prom stories.

Ooh, Rudy.

Woo.

Rudy looking shop, dude.

Look at that.

You in that dress.

That's fancy.

That's cool.

It's like tie-dye. Yeah.
Was it a theme to was the no there was no theme really didn't we used to do themes yeah i feel like that was a thing well your thing was always like casino night at your high school i'm sure it was like and yours was in the 40s so that was just real for you old ass bitch don't talk about me uh when did you graduate high school again yours was no be for real when did you graduate high school prohibition it was like it's always a drunk thing yeah yeah they're like that's not the theme i'm like i graduated in 1990 when were you born 2001 jesus christ you could have two families by the time she i know yeah i have to yeah live in a different state like fly back and forth right you're a traveling salesman yeah smoking on airplanes rudy you look great that's such a nice photo and you took yourself right yeah why did you not get asked yes and i also didn't want to be with a guy okay we have to go we can't let this go okay did you want to go with a girl instead no okay well you just well, you just said it like that. Don't know me like that.
You went, I didn't want to be with a guy. That sounded very literal.
It was about a guy. You just didn't want to go with somebody.
Yeah, I just wanted to be with kids. Wait, wait, why? Why the guy that asked you, why? Because it's going to be awkward.
There's no eye candy you could have brought with you? Why is it going to be awkward awkward because i don't know how to like interact

with them what do you mean yes you do this is because of you people this is not me she lives in bobby's house you don't even know how to deal with because she thinks men are you and bobby like imagine no imagine it her example of men is you and bobby we're uncles we're her uncles okay she knows how to deal with the post office like oh hey she was in Hawaii

couldn't find nothing

in the post office. She was like, oh.
Maybe she doesn't want to find a dude. Right, Rudy? See? She's independent, bro.
She doesn't need that. Because you've scared her.
That's right. Bringing no boys around this studio.
I guess it worked. Yeah, but you know what? Rudy, I think that's cool that you went alone.
That's a smart move. Eric went alone, but that was not by choice.
That was just because... Ain't nobody gonna ask your ass.
Okay, I'm gonna bring my prime pictures. Okay, I wanna see it.
You gotta see the darn piece I went with. I wanna see it.
I do wanna see it. Did you? Yeah.
Yeah? Prom was fun. What did you do? What was your prom like? I don't even dude see i barely remember that stuff so wait you went to hawaii you had you had a bunch of fun with with kalilah and her sister right and then you came back you went to prom you killed it at prom no hawaii pictures by the way no why well you don't want to see the real things that happen no they don't want to show off how fancy she is because they were probably staying in the four seasons and all that stuff you know what i mean with sweets and stuff i know richie rich over here i know who did you who did you hang out with at the prom do you have a group of friends yeah i have and then this girl was so high that she was she was becoming annoying what was she on i don't know she just smoked something she smoked something and just was becoming annoying yeah yeah that is annoying their generation i was in best buy yesterday picking up a like a card a little card and uh these girls at the register were probably same age like 19 20 you know whatever and were losing their minds because a dude i don't know you may know um charlie d'amelio's boyfriend was there do you know who that is noah Beck.
Noah Beck? Is that his name? Wow. Yeah.
She pulled that out of her. Well, that's what I said.
It was like the same age. Bro, they couldn't check me out because this guy was in the store.
The store was shut down for this cat. People were losing their minds for this dude.
I never heard of him in my entire life. I know who she is, the TikTok girl.
Is that him? I think. Wait, that's Dixie's boyfriend.

I don't know about Charlie's boyfriend.

See, look at, I knew she would know.

I just don't get it.

What do you mean you don't get it?

He's like a hunky, hot, young dude.

Yeah, but there's probably like a thousand that look just like him.

I know, but he's probably, he has a famous on YouTube or some shit.

Oh, okay.

They all got to have the same level of fame to date each other.

I get that. That's the kid.
That was him. That was him.
that was him long hair that was him yeah the other one didn't look like him that was him what's his name uh chase hudson i love when george uh you're chase hudson i know i love george i love the door he's such a dork i love him like those two guys That would be a great sitcom Dracula and Dork and dorkier Yeah Dracula and Pink Dick If they were gay That would be a great If Yeah If George I want to take you out Son I like how you mistake I like how you mistake He's from Spain but you think he's from Transylvania.

He's got a little Transylvania in there.

Yes, he does.

He's like, I want to go.

No, that is a good call because when I mock him, I go, finance advice.

Yeah, yeah.

It does kind of sound Transylvanian.

Do you think Fancy B might be a vampire?

I think so.

Yeah?

He does kind of exude some of the qualities.

He stays up all night. He's probably 700 years old and we don't realize it.

Nah,

I see some signs of his age

for sure.

No,

because you know what?

Let's say you really were

a vampire,

people would notice you.

You couldn't be on Instagram.

To really survive,

you gotta be a dork.

You know what I mean?

You have to be,

well,

dude who edits at night

and no windows.

Nobody really knows him.

You know what I mean?

No one's gonna be like,

oh my God,

you look like somebody I met when I was a little kid. No, he's just going to be like an introverted.
It's true. An editor.
He sits in a dark room. Don't you, fans? You sit in a dark room editing all day and all night, don't you? That's my life.
That's my life. And I don't really know his wife isn't real.
We've never seen her. You know that, right? Never.
No one knows who she is. George, have you ever seen his wife uh i think it was a plant though you know she was way too attractive for yeah it was a beard it was a pay i was a hire he hired hired her yeah i have her in the basement oh in the basement i have her in the basement i have i've made him across which is basically just his apartment right i live in a basement I live in the basement she leaves with me click on the first photo of this guy look at this guy you know what do you like do you like him Rudy is he good looking he's not not at all what about him do you not like because he seems like he's a cute guy am I wrong he's a little adrogynous too I think that's the people what do you might he seems like he might be a chick and a dude yeah what do you what do you not like about this guy rudy i've just seen him a lot in tiktok oh you know okay so you're annoyed by him yeah that's what but you don't find him attractive well that's like well i guess that makes sense though because if you do right if you do see someone enough and they just piss you off you're like i can't stand who do you who do you find attractive of this of these guys these young famous guys who's the guy that go, ooh? Who was on your tiger beat? They have no idea what that is.
I like Vinnie Hacker. Vinnie Hacker.
Let's see. Not his real name for sure.
If it is, wow. He looks like the same guy.
The same fucking guy. The same guy.
Wait a minute. No.
He's even more gay, this one. I like gay.
This guy, what do you like about, this guy looks just, pull up a side-by-side of this guy and the other guy. The same guy.
That's the same guy. They are the same guy.
Look at that! No! Same guy. Same guy.
That's literally the, if you said to me, is that the same guy? Go, yes, of course that's the same guy. look exactly like they do who does vinnie hacker date

rude no one well could be rudy jewels reach out to him on the gram no why not look at this guy's lips how old how old is this that's injections for sure does he get his lips injected it's weird nowadays that some juicy lips i've been like what's up girl guys how do guys have DSLs now? That's a big thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Boys have DSLs. Like, that's insane.
I get it. Look at this.
Yeah, but that's all manufactured, right? He's not born like that. That looks like those are women lips.
Yeah, like, how does he, like, I would just like to see him, like, on a Tuesday, like, at 4 p.m., just regular. Because this looks all...
Okay, scroll down. Let's see if there's, like, a...
This is all there's this is all made up stuff look at this guy is he ever normal? I mean on the far left that was him top left that one yeah that looks like it's just in the during the day randomly right? no he's still he's still posing yeah he's posing he's done up at all times but that's his whole you understand Rudy this is all fake no this is real don't ruin my fantasy scroll down this is all fake. No, this is real.
Don't ruin my fantasy. Scroll down.
This is all fake. You're right, though.
And he looks exactly like the other guy. But let her have Vinnie Hacker.
She likes Vinnie Hacker. So you're into white guys like this.
No brown for you, huh? I like brown. Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, who was that for?

That's like, is your family watching and it just went like this?

Yeah.

I like brown.

I like brown.

I do.

I love brown.

Yeah, but every guy you've mentioned on the show that you think is cute has been a white guy.

Okay, this one.

Manny from Good Girls.

Manny from Good Girls. Manny from Good Girls.

What's Good Girls?

Is that a Netflix show?

A show, yeah.

I've never heard of it.

Oh, I'm thinking of a different show.

Good Girls is a great show.

Oh, that's him?

So you like Manny?

Yeah, he's hot.

Okay, he's hot.

Yeah, no, he is attractive.

I think you're right there.

Yeah, so if-

He kind of looks like Travis Barker with that beanie on.

No, but what I'm saying is the brown guys she likes have to be like-

Very light-skinned.

In Mexican cartel type of bad boys.

Right.

But the white guy could just be like, hi, I'm white with big lips.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, hi, I'm white with big lips.

This is actually a great show.

I like this show.

Good girls?

Yeah.

What's it about, Rude?

Moms that are stealing stuff.

Oh, I've seen the preview of this.

Yeah.

Who's really famous that's in it it's one famous lead right i don't think she's all that famous no yeah yeah yeah she is there's one i've seen the poster of it it's these are the people uh well christina hendrix i know uh may whitman she's a great actor she's really dope oh and reda reda you know reda yeah that's what i'm saying but they're just you know yeah but christina great but they're all great it's a great show may whitman is very she's she's dope i think she's really talented i watched thatta. You know Retta.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But they're all great.
It's a great show.

Mae Whitman is very... She's dope.
I think she's really talented. I watched that show.

I should watch it. I've seen the billboard.
I've just never...

I never checked it out.

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Oh, David Hornsby.

You know who he is?

Cricket.

Cricket from... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God, from Always Sunny.

He's hilarious.

He is so fierce. Thank you.
Registry Bahamas. Oh, David Hornsby.
You know who he is? Cricket. Cricket from...
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God.
From Always Sunny. He's hilarious.
He's funny in this. He plays a really weird character in this.
He's funny, dude. That dude's...
He's one of those guys that will go the rest of his career working, doing funny shit, and then only at the very end you'll go, man, that guy was incredible. You know what I mean? Yeah.
You know when so many people work... When they find him dead in a condo in a...
Sherman Oaks. Yeah.
In his basement. I keep David Huntsby in my basement.
David Huntsby is actually my wife. Matthew Lillard's really good too.
He's been a lot of good. I'm stuck on watching documentaries now because I've been sitting on so many planes downloading Netflix.
I tried to watch that Hillbilly Elegy. Have you seen that? No.
Have you seen that? Did you guys i can't do documentaries no no hillbilly elegy is a movie i tried to watch that and i was i went right back to documentaries yeah ron howard directed it it's amy adams and glenn close yeah what i hate doing is i start watching like a series on netflix and then you finish this like season two let's say right and you're like oh man i actually like that and then you look it you look it up, and it goes, this was canceled eight years ago. Right.
That happens every time to me. I just watched the Shannara Chronicles.
What is that? It's just kind of like elf human sci-fi fantasy show, and it's so bad. The acting and even the special effects are terrible, but it was addictive, and I watched the thing then i looked it up and it was like that's a no on season three because of bad ratings and terrible and i was like oh man we've lived that life together who are you telling i just got a couple of residual checks from showtime it's so funny are they still showing i'm dying yes because i'm tired of people sending us messages saying every other day i'm getting a message about like oh this is this is a great show.
When is it coming back? Or I can't believe they canceled it. Really? You can't believe they canceled it? We should continue to lie and just be like, it is coming back.
It's coming back. We're coming back.
2024. We'll be right back.
Yeah. Griff, address what's on your arm, by the way.
Oh, I got an IV. I got an immune boost IV.
Drip, drip, drip. I got a drip, drip.
I like doing it. And I got a vitamin D shot in my booty.
Really? Why do they got to go on your booty? That's what I always say. Is that preference? No.
Preference. They're like, armor your booty.
What's meaty? And you're like, how big is the needle? I make the same joke with the nurse every time. You got to take me to dinner first, girl.
How funny. She's autistic.
She puts it down. She's like, okay.
And you guys have to go to dinner. I'm like, fuck.
She's on go to dinner have you ever had an iv root yeah when i had dengue i'm sorry when you had dengue fever you had fucking dengue fever i thought she was dating a black guy i'm sorry i got that dengue is that what the young kids are calling you know about that dang gay oh he got that dengue. Is that what the young kids are calling it? You know about that dengue? Oh, he got that dengue.
You only like white guys. She's like, I like brown and dengue.
Dark chocolate. When did you fucking get dengue fever? In the Philippines.
Is that common to get? Yeah. What's going on there? Is it just like the wild, wild west there? Can you Google dengue fever?

I can't believe that's that common.

People still get that?

I know it's common in parts of the world,

but I don't think you...

You lived in a developed part of the Philippines, right?

No?

A little.

I'm so ignorant.

It's just caused by a mosquito bite, right?

Or any kind of bug bite.

Ugh.

Mosquito bite.

But what does it make you do? Look, very rare. Very rare.
that's fewer than 20 000 cases in the u.s look internationally how rare it is though everything is rare here like international numbers must be huge africa i think it's massive dengue fever international flights holy shit 100 to 400 million infections every year yeah i think africa gets dengue fever constantly go back to the last page because i want to see more about dengue fever were these all your symptoms is this what you felt fever headache muscle joint did you have like uh vomiting diarrhea all that stuff yeah and i had like weird red dots all over my body wow how long did it last? Two weeks. Two weeks.

It's like you had Rona.

You had Dengue Rona.

And what?

Did you lose weight?

Yeah.

Dengue diet.

I'm on the Dengue diet.

I lost seven to 10 pounds.

Let me get this straight.

How much did you lose?

400 million people a year.

Is that what that said?

Yeah, around the world.

Get it.

I know. So 400 million people around the world get that.
Yeah. and we didn't shut down their world economy for it okay okay we'll be right back with breitbart news with eric griffin how many people die of dengue say that that well you know the number one killer in the world is fat diarrhea more people die in africa from diarrhea from dehydration and diarrhea from getting sick and they die look at this though how many people die of dengue every single year up to 400 million people get infected 22 000 die that's nothing yeah how many people die from diarrhea shut down the economy for 22 000 i mean maybe maybe in la they would how many people die from diarrhea yearly look at this you 1.6 million people died from diarrhea globally can you believe that 800,000 died from suicide what happens are you just on the toilet and then you just like fall out I just don't get it they die from slipping off the toilet cracking their head on the fucking sink that would make sense you get real slippery on the toilet no it's insane you know how they die rushing to the toilet and they can't get their pants down and then they fall and they hit their head that probably happens this is the most you've never shit your pants no have you shit your pants dude i'm over 40 you shit your pants when you're over 40 no there's two people in here that are 40.
Have you shit your pants, PD? Nope. Have you shit your pants? Dude, I'm over 40.
You shit your pants when you're over 40. No.
There's two people in here that are 40. Have you shit your pants, PD? Nope.
Have you fancy? Let's define what is shit in your pants. Okay, all right.
Well, what's the definition of shit in your pants? No, no, no, no, no. But you know what he just said? Yes.
He just said, I have farted a few times. Maybe a little bit of shit has come out.
One time I was drinking this man's blood.

I farted.

He said a little shit has come out on a fart every now and then.

That's what I mean.

I don't mean like I'm just sitting around and just like.

You know what I mean?

I'm like, oh my God.

You two didn't boot it.

Yeah.

Wait a minute, fans.

Did that happen to you?

Did you squeeze out a little shardskies?

Yeah.

I love just the yeah.

Yeah.

Where was it?

When was it? I was doing Bad Friends one day. You were here? No.
Listen, he is terrible at improv. He is.
Yeah. Sometimes he's good.
Like literally, the scenario just turned his head completely. Could I add a little bit to how

bad he is at improv? Please. I just

started him some improv classes last night.

Here's his improv.

Hello, George, who has a wife

and a kid. It is raining

outside. Did you really go to improv

class, fans? I did.

You did? Yeah. What the fuck?

How come we haven't talked about? Did you go to improv?

Why didn't you film that? Where was the camera crew for that where did you did you do online i no no no it was in person where it came on this coach came to us oh this sounds like some like that that's how you did you hire a fucking improv coach i did oh my where did you find him though is he reputable because this seems like a craigslist oh okay exactly yeah it's where the best improvers are hanging out on craigslist fancy i'm proud of you for improv and that's great yeah good for you fans fuck yes i we do have to record that george next time we do have to record that please okay yeah there's no doubt yeah that is that is that's gold that's for this show that's for this show and then bring that improv teacher on no you know i'm not doing that shit yeah just no zoom him in it'll be like tell us uh and then have that guy to do an improv class with you and bobby that would be hilarious he'd have to pay us man he'd have to pay us the big bucks speaking of which bobo called me when i was in jersey where was i yeah i was coming back from jersey which by the way i did my last socially distant show they had me in um in the hard rock in a we sold out both shows 7 000 seat arena where fucking kevin hart plays because they had to spread out all these chairs because it was booked before the final. Oh.
I did the show on Sunday. On fucking Monday, they could have put it in the regular venue or whatever.
Oh, no. But it had been booked during COVID.
Well, how many people were in there? Each show was... I could actually look.
Each show... I'm going to look right now, but bro, I walked in...
How did it look? How did it feel? I mean, dude, they did the best job that they could, but it was all so spread out. Yeah.
I mean, it was like, it was a bummer because I was like, this was so spread out. So the total numbers, it was like 1,200 people total, so 600 a show.
Damn. I know.
Trust me. It was bananas.
It was so spread out. I was just in Florida, West Palm Beach.
Yeah, it's fine. You wouldn't even know.
No, I know. Well, I did the same thing.
I was in Dallas. Same thing.
They were shoulder to shoulder. But but look this had been booked before that's what it was but they were so spread out man dude honestly though it was echoey and we and like i know the gaps were huge and you were like this is so it was tough but on the way back bobo texted me and he said um uh i think he said i'm on the verge and then i said what and he said call me hold on so i called him and he said this is this is bobby uh i'm on the verge that's what i that's what he said i said what he said call me he said he's having an emotional breakdown because no one wants to hang out with him such a fucking baby and a liar bro i'm facetiming him and he's and he's i mean he's literally no one wants to hang out with that's what he says no i think it's no one wants to enable his bullshit behavior he's around like other actors and stuff like that who are like dude i don't listen to your podcast jamie that's what it is here let's see let's see let's see if we can get him on facetime right now while he's in hungry he's only got a little you gotta give me the mask oh yeah had.
Although, I don't know where it is now. He's not going to pick up.
But he called me and said no one wanted to hang out. Jamie Lee Curtis didn't want to hang out with him.
Understandable. Get it.
But they went out to dinner like twice. And then after that, he's like, I'd have nothing to talk about.
And I want to be in the same frame with these people. And I want to be as cool as these people.
And Cate Blanchett is there, which is like. Wow.
Can you believe that? Yeah. I can't can't she's like whatever the case may be uh he was all complaining because no one would hang out with him because he was like i'm alone all day long and all night he's got one new friend on there has he talked to you about his friends out there he said that he had one friend but then that friend left yeah the guy left i don't know why he didn't just like set up a show down there.
Yeah, but because he's lazy. I mean, what has he been doing? Has he told you what he's been doing? Just in his room, eating.
Eating and playing video games. Yeah.
Oh, he brought his Xbox or PlayStation? He's there for nine weeks. You think he wasn't going to bring something? Yeah, that's true.
Literally, what would he do? I don't know. I mean, and he didn't like the food.
He complained about literally. And then he complained that he's probably not going to get any billing and get cut out of the movie.
And at some point, I hung up. Yeah, cut to who's going to have the funniest scene in the movie.
100%. You know? 100%.
So he's bitching and moaning and complaining. He's going to be the dictator all over again.
Yeah, he called all angry about it. But yeah, on my way back, I was saying how i'm happy that everything is lifted i went to new york and i was in the cellar have you ever done the cellar yeah are you past there yeah yeah i just i did i i when i did this movie with ray romano he walked i walked in with him and sd was there yeah yeah and it was kind of like oh you know and then we got regular sets right because like he bumped it you know sure I went on with him and I it's funny so I tell him I go well you're doing what oh the movie with Raymana oh right right right so then I then he goes let's do some let's come on Saturday too and I say Ray why don't we tell her and get like on the lineup yeah so we're not and he goes oh you know what you're right he's so famous yeah because to him he doesn't even you know what i mean so we did that you know they didn't put his name on the lineup they put you on though yeah yeah yeah right and then i did it and i think that after that i think she was at that finally like oh okay this guy's funny yeah you know what i mean i had no plans to i had never done the cellar it kind of was one of those things where it's like that's new york's comedy store yeah those guys come here it's a little weird we go there it's a little weird it's you know it's like their home you know what i mean i didn't want to step on toes even though i knew a bunch of those guys right me too but the stefano came out and chris was doing like six sets you know one at the cellar one at fat black pussycat one at village underground and then he did that twice over and then he said do you want to go up esty will would like to watch you.
I said, dude, I've never played here, and I don't know.

You know what's weird is I didn't know if I cared.

If I was like, I'm not here enough.

Yeah, yeah.

I respect the place.

And even when you go, you're probably doing a club.

You're probably doing Carolines or some little theater or something like that.

Maybe, because I usually don't play New York.

New York is so hard to play.

It really is.

I usually say no.

I usually go, I'll play Jersey.

I'll play Philly, Boston.

New York City's tough.

It's a tough sell.

So anyway, blah, blah, blah. I said, all right i get i what fine i'll go why not do a spot and i knew people mateo lane was there who i love he murdered he's so funny man yeah um carmen lynch like people that i recognized that i knew todd berry it was like all right i was comfortable you know ricky velez it was people i have known or seen before and i went up and had a great set and then she was like anytime you want but it was cool to get past at this age in our career because that's what i felt we don't do it any do that anymore you don't showcase it you just go like if you're not in at a club you just go well i'm not in at that club i don't go there and i just won't go there but isn't it funny dude to do five minutes i haven't done five minutes in i don't know i really can't i genuinely like maybe seven eight nine years i don't know when's the last time he did five minutes oh shit i wouldn't even know how to do it i do it was it was genuinely hard you just gotta do you just gotta go okay i guess i gotta get off here's two jokes like that's how i felt like here's two jokes i saw did you see was louis there he had just been there on the early show yeah because oh yeah he's been going a lot yes yeah i saw i saw him perform and i was like all right yeah i you know he's back in full swing that that club is back they've got all the the um they took the things down right they just took them down yeah the what are those the plexiglass yeah yeah yeah but i didn't even feel like it wasn't a lot of people in there when i did it no because it's packed it like because no no but i'm saying because it's so small yeah but so i was like damn i wonder how it is that they probably just got people likeardines in that place.
But it's a nice vibe in there. It's the same kind of feeling I got.
It's the same kind of OR feeling. It feels like the ROR, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Except it's more intimate. Bro, I've done a couple of sets and they've been fine, but it doesn't feel the same.
Yeah. And also, not to get negative, but it doesn't feel the same without Jeff Scott at the piano.
It's just a weird thing. It just felt sad.
It felt a little weird for me. I had forgotten when I first went.
You forgot that he died? Yes. Griff.
That's what I was looking for him. Right.
What I'm saying, though, is it was like a punch-in-the-face reminder. So I looked over there, and I was like, oh, fuck, that's right.
And they have his name lit up there. Yeah, yeah.
So that was like, it's a nice tribute that they're doing that. Yeah.

I think we all, I mean, I think, I'm so excited.

The 15th, everything is open up finally, right?

Are you excited?

What are you going to do first?

Huh?

What are you going to do first on the 15th when everything is open?

No mask, no restriction.

She's going to go to the post office.

She's still nervous.

Look at her.

Stay home.

You're still going to stay home?

Yeah.

You're vaccinated.

You're fine.

Yeah, but I don't want to go anywhere.

Oh my God. This is the youth.
I know. This is the youth.
This is what happens. What's a regular day for you then? Sleeping.
For real. That's all she does.
What time are you sleeping until every day? Was this like an annoyance to come here? No. Yes.
Yes. No.
She hates it here. I love coming here.
She hates it here. Well, Rudy, what else are you doing during the day now the school is about to be this is summertime right no I still have one more week okay one more week I'm saying but you're done and then what are you going to do for the summer maybe go back to Hawaii or in the Philippines see how fancy this is go back to Hawaii you know how many times I went to Hawaii when I was in high school zero I didn't go to fucking Hawaii I didn't get to go to vacation we went to Florida to see your grandma to go sit by the beach and burn terrible trip and by car by the way we used to have to drive to Florida I was a little more fancy actually because i was the only child yeah but and it was just you and your mom yeah just me and my mom so like when i was seven years old we went to like a tour we went to london paris and rome yeah what did your mom do for a living i don't even remember those days you don't know what she was doing yeah well she did so many different like she became like she went to school to become something different.
And then like – so in my later years, she was a safety specialist for the city, for like – She worked for LA City? Yeah, like one of the colleges downtown. So she was like the safety – because it became this – because people were – you know what? It was a new profession.
People were getting sued. Companies were getting sued so often for workers' compensation that they came up with a profession to help

companies stop

make sure there was fire extinguishers

make sure there was like, oh, so she became a safety

specialist. But she was like a transcriber

when I was a kid. Really? Yeah.

She did like a thousand different things.

So transcribing was a big thing for her.

Because there was no, if you think about

now, so a doctor would

be in this thing at surgery or whatever or talking would, like, be a medical transcriber. So then she would have to, like, type whatever the doctor said.
Wow. You know, but now it's, like – like, the kind of profession is gone.
Like, take – like, a photo mat. Right.
It's all uploaded in the cloud. You know what I mean? Like, you could just, like, do voice – you voiced, you know.
Right. The moment you say it, it you say it it's already logged in yeah well like i saw that commercial the other day about the the motorola i know you guys have probably seen this they're pushing this deaf guy is talking to his son for the first time because you can speak and it and it dictates what you're saying so you can be on the phone right with someone who's deaf and you can be speaking like you're speaking to them and it will voice dictate everything that you say that That shit don't work good though.
Bro, he was like, this is the first, he's like, dad, do you realize it's the first time we've talked or that we've talked over the phone and I'm such a dick that I'm just like, he still can't hear him. Yeah, yeah.
You're not talking over the phone. No, but it's like, you're reading over the phone.
That voice texting shit, like it's always gonna mess up. So they're gonna have a, I use it every day.
Yeah, but it doesn't, you know what you watch let me tell you something let me see if let me say something that you always say in your voice texting you have to say this at least once in the in the in the chain sorry about that i'm voice texting right here watch let's see if i can do this hey griff i'm voice texting you right now and i'm pretty sure that every single thing that's coming out of my mouth is going to be correctly put on this app. You fucked up.
I know, I know. I didn't know what to say.
I'm voice texting you right now. I'm pretty sure that everything is coming out of my mouth.
Hey, Griffin, my cock is so big. Hey! Right now, and I'm pretty sure that every single thing.
Yeah, because you didn't say anything. No, it's if you speak with.
You said all this enunciating like you that was so simple so i speak with party hello how are you doing this is andrew texting you right now that's that when you start like talking i'll do it the way that you know what just just turn it on right now no no no stop it just do it like this right now like just turn it on oh yo what's up griff you know i'm out here doing my thing dog that that hey man it got in there see maybe it's like set to just listen white people register white people register yeah well it was made by it was made by asians who only like whites see look i'm gonna send you what you just said it says it was made by an agent who only like white. That's because that phone is trying to stop Asian hate.
That's what that is. Speaking of agents, are you on a job hunt now? Yeah.
Sorry. I haven't had an audition in three years.
I'm dead serious. Yeah, well, even the one audition I got, I got all my hopes up, and then they didn't even.
I know. I told you I thought it was going to get picked up.
I thought it was going to get picked up.

But you know what, dude?

Can I tell you something?

Can I just give you what network television is like? Listen up, Rudy. This is for you.
This is for you. All right.
So let's say, Rudy, let's say you have a lot of money and you want to build a house. And you hire an architect.
And the architect draws out everything about the house. And you go, I love this house.
That's the house I want you to make. And in the making of the house and you go i love this house that's the house i want you to make and in the making of the house you start going like this i think i want the kitchen on the other side you know what can you uh change the you use a mahogany i want you to use a different wood and then you make all these changes and then you see your house and then you go like this i don't like this this.
You know why you don't like it? You know why you don't like it, Network? Because you fucked it up. That's why you don't like it now.
Because all your dumb ass changes. ABC.
ABC? They fucking fucked it up. And then they want to wonder why they don't like it you know why you don't like it cause you got involved you should just write checks and let talented makers of entertainment do the thing you paid them for it's so it's unbelievable i know that's what they ruin things you can say that i'm not saying that i'm not getting any work you can that's you i'm not getting any work either then that's the last time i'm working for them anyway then i saw the pilot you know and then like my section like you know they cut it down so much i was like do you even like me did you even really want me in this show was the pilot bad I it wasn't what I thought I was just I was so disappointed in what they did to the office part of the show that I was like I wouldn't have picked this up either that was my thought who was the star of the show Shannon Woodward Jane Lynch Jane Lynch is she was great the stuff it look this show was yeah I don't know who that is.
Am I stupid? Look her up. She was on West, if you saw her, she was on Raising Amy, Raising Hope, not Raising Amy.
Her name's Amy on the show. Oh, yeah, I like her.
Yeah, she's great. Westworld, yeah.
Westworld. And she was so good at the role she was playing, like just, you know, and I feel bad because the creator of the show, this was like her life story, sort of, you know, it was based off her own story.
She's been working on it for five years. You finally get your show made.
You get it going. And then they just go, eh, we'll see ya.
Yeah, they do what Andres does in his fucking pants. That's so sad.
That's so sad that those things come and go so much. I know.
They never have given a chance. That's what I'm saying.
It's like, why don't you just let these people make the show they wanted to make? And then if you say, after you see say after you see it you go well we don't like it but they're so involved in every step of the way and they wonder why they don't like it right that's my point the way i think is everything should be shot three episodes i think pilots quote unquote should be three episodes because you can't really get to know something in the first episode by the second and third you really get a rhythm you're spending so much money anyway why not just do three to me three is the golden number what do you think fans you're in the you're in the industry i'm just you can see how upset i am i know well you should be i think the way they're doing it today with platforms is better if they like something they just right right like the whole system but that's true but that's but on network still doesn't apply they don't do it that way they still do the the pilot system, which is they pick up, you know, they shoot 10 pilots or five. But they nitpick at every single stage of it.
Well, who was the studio and who was the network? ABC Signature Studio and ABC Network. Oh, so that should have been a lot.
Usually it's really tough if it's like Fox Studios and NBC Network. And you're like, oh my God, you have two competing brands.
Yeah. That's the weirdest thing.
It's like Nike and Adidas have a contract with an athlete. I know.
That's what it's like, which doesn't exist. But people think but people think that about TV.
People think that people think that when ABC show is on ABC, you go like, no, that ABC show is on CBS. Right.
You. You don't even know, because there's probably like really only three studios in the entire world.
Like they're all subsidiaries of something else. Right.
Network television is about selling refrigerators. Yes.
It's not about entertainment. It's why The Price is Right literally was about buying shit.
Yeah. It was literally like, how much is this thing we're actually promoting? That's what it was.
They make a show, and then the upfronts are all about showing these shows to the advertisers because the advertisers are like, okay, is that show funny enough where people are going to watch it so we can sell our products? Right. That's what it's all about.
Right. So you have to understand why they don't care about racial equality.
Thank God god they don't care about none of this stuff all they care about is like how many white homes that got a lot of money can we get these shows into correct and this is why you see a lot of white tv it's not like it's not necessary like we need to stop always assuming that this is about race it's about money as a person of color when i'm looking at this shit and i'm like, they don't got no black people on. No, because when they do, it'll be like, it's a black show for black advertisers.
That's why when you're watching a black show, the McDonald's commercial was always, what up, y'all? They're always like that. Big Mac, Big Mac, you know? They've been like that for 15 years.
I know, but you don't see that on... Ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba! That ain't on Grey's Anatomy.
When you're watch Grey's Anatomy, it's white as hell. There's no McDonald's on Grey's Anatomy.
You know what I mean? It's Chick-fil-A. Like, anytime, and they do that, and what I'm saying is, I actually understand the business of it.
Well, it's just business. It's just business.
Yeah, but I'm also like, I think, for me, no matter, I think we should be more diverse. I like the diversity that's coming and happening.
Yeah, yeah, of course course but the thing i don't like is if the diverse stories are the same stories all the time yeah yeah so you're like make sure that this is a broad range of shit you know what show was kind of wild and totally different was um uh uh uh have you seen bo burnham's new netflix special everyone keeps talking about it i want to watch it but i don't think i think it's one of these's one of these alternative type... What are you laughing at, George? I hear George chuckling.
What are you chuckling about, George? I want to check it out. Yeah, it is one of these alternative types of things.
It's not that funny, but it's very interesting. See, that's what I'm hearing.
So then it's going to be labeled brilliant. What does that even mean, George? Explain that.
I think there's no audience. I May Destroy You was the show I was trying to think of i couldn't think of her name do you know that show no yeah you like it don't you see this is my point is like watchman was good i like when it's non-white bullshit anymore i like when non-white creators are making super unique shit because i think even when they do submit stuff for the most part it gets channeled into this like i know but can you make an atlanta you know what i mean like they do you know that's the that's my biggest beef yeah is they're pushing out the same shit so yeah so at least that shows good isn't it i may destroy you it comes across you should watch it it comes across as if it's fucking funky not to say this is true but it comes across as if the white production side they get to like live their dreams and like let's make whatever we want to make and then we'll see if it works.
And on the other side, it has to be something they know. Well, it has to be something they're familiar with culturally because otherwise...
Or some white guy has to take a chance on someone like Atlanta. Issa Rae.
Yeah, they take a chance. They go, let's do this.
And then you see this... What I love about Insecure is you feel like you're a fly on the wall to these black women's lives.
Yeah. You know, and it's just like you just go, oh.
And then they're portraying them as like powerful, successful, but also sexual creatures. Humans.
Human beings. You know, because I come from an era of the 80s and stuff where like if you saw a black woman in a movie or TV, she got to be sassy as hell.
She got to be like, you know. You know.
Ghetto. Yeah.
Whatever it is like that whatever it is like don't make me yeah yeah yeah not they're never portrayed as people that like like having sex or like doing things or just being like a normal normal person yeah they always inflate these caricatures yeah and so then when you watch insecure you're just like oh shit this is like you know yeah they're modern day women that's what i may destroy you is kind of like that's why you'd like that show no but uh uh but what were you saying you were saying before that there was a show you were just saying what did you just say before that what'd he say cool hacks oh he's had a oh no we talk about bo burnham's thing oh yeah so so tell me about bo speck i haven't seen it but i but this one of those things that like the you know the the what's that one like real woke artsy, like the Verge or whatever?

Sure.

One of those publications where it has to be like, oh, this is the most genius thing I've ever – Is that what they said?

Yeah, it's that kind of thing.

That's the kind of publicity it's getting, so I want to check it out.

Look, I'm sure –

He's an artsy fartsy kid.

He's always been like that.

Yeah, it's how he came famous.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think he's crazy talented.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, there's a song – that song he put out, Art Is Dead, is one of the best songs I've ever heard.

Do you ever see hear that song no art is dead is so good uh just pull up the lyrics i met him i met him when i was doing my new faces in montreal when he was like 16 yeah he was like 16 17 saying like crazy shit on stage but he's always been like Look at how powerful this is though. This next song is honestly about nothing at all, but it helps me sleep at night.
Art is dead, art is dead, art is dead. Entertainers like to seem complicated, but we're not complicated.
I can explain it pretty easily. Have you ever been to a birthday party for children and one of the children won't stop screaming because he's a little attention attractor when he goes up to be a comic or actor? He'll be rewarded for never maturing, for never understanding or learning that every day can't be about him.
There's other people, you selfish asshole. Is this about Bobby? But truly, all of this money you worked very hard for.
I slept in late while you worked at the drugstore. My drug's attention.
I'm an addict, but I get rewarded. I get paid to indulge in my habit.
It's all an illusion. I'm wearing makeup.
I'm wearing makeup, makeup. It's great, man.
It's great. I'm doing it.
No justice, by the way. But my point is like- He directed a couple specials already.
It's a deep, wonderful song about what it's like to be a comic. I think he has good internal struggle.
I think that this special is portraying those things. That's great.
My only problem with these alternative specials is- They're not traditional. Let's not call them that.
Right. I'm just saying, let's make a new thing.
Well, it's called a comedy special, right? Because even back in the day when you saw like, we call them one-man shows, one-woman shows. Right.
And you knew you weren't watching a comedy special. That's true.
You were watching a different piece of art. Yeah.
So what I don't appreciate is that now they're doing these things and then shitting on the people that go the art form of going on stage and just doing stand and just doing stand-up as if like oh well this isn't enough right it's like what are you talking about two two totally separate things they're two totally separate things right i know but i don't like that but the problem is now with like the youth like her age range they don't they

weren't used to that so like all they're used to now is categorically a tiktok guy is a comedian do you know what i'm saying like it's because the lines are blurred i hear what you're saying yeah but i disagree as that being the reason what is it no they are used to it they just don't like it because it sucks.

I mean,

straight up.

Yeah.

Like,

listen to me.

You. What is it? No, they are used to it.
They just don't like it because it sucks. I mean, straight up.
Yeah. Like, listen to me.
You go on Netflix and you look how many comedy specials they have on there. Yeah.
They suck. A good amount of them.
A good amount of them. The ones that are good, they stand out.
It's hard to make a... It's a hard thing to achieve.
Yeah. And it ain't even about the person not being funny or whatever.
It's just about it's hard to make a it's a hard thing to achieve yeah and anyone about the person not being funny or whatever it's just about it's hard to capture what happens in a live show it's impossible so and then they were just handing out specials like candy it didn't even matter are you the most famous person in guatemala well you're getting a special are you the most famous person in fucking whatever pick a country in europe we're gonna give you a special and they just were like inundating the these these young people with like all this stuff right every network showtime hbo netflix amazon and they just were like and so now you know if i was young now you'd be like why do they call it special because it's not anymore so i don't think it is anything to do with like they're not used to it they're just like, that's that thing that they do that no one likes or watches. The problem is comedy is so hard to capture.
Yes, it is. So inherently specials are tough.
Like they really just have to be a moment in time. That's why like Eddie's shit was great because it was a moment in time.
Yeah. Right? He's also a phenomenal performer.
I know, but it also goes to the comic themselves too. It was a moment in time.
Shit was happening. It was like an amalgamation of, like, he's just becoming mega famous.
He's a great writer. He's a great performer.
He's just becoming globally famous. Like, that was just timing was perfect.
Same with Chappelle. Timing was perfect for Dave.
Yeah, but I don't even know if it has... That's how a great special is born.
It's like the timing is perfect. But with him, though, I mean, what's the timing of six specials? i just think that no the i'm saying when they first crack the first special that you see the reason that they crack is because you know like sebastian didn't pop until his fourth special or whatever yeah yeah yeah but that's because the timing wasn't right for the early ones he wasn't that he wasn't funny he was funny but we're all funny everyone that's good enough is professional

you're funny you'll go rip a room anywhere the special the idea of a special it's why bobby won't make one which i agree with because it's so hard to capture what you really want to put down forever and you have to have material you know i love giving you layups that was like He broke the glass.

No, but it is.

Have you ever watched comedy specials?

Um, I. that was like boom off the backboard he broke the glass no but have you ever watched comedy specials um i've seen joe koi's joe koi right that of course yeah who else would she say and by the way and that's why netflix does that right right he looks like you do you like this guy that looks like you how did you like joe k special that was funny i liked it yeah have you ever seen anybody else's um john malaney's right you like john malaney we talked about that and you know you know he's not single anymore well he looks like an older version of the guy she likes so she's seeing like oh my guy's gonna end up looking like this john malaney is like a tall skinny puppet yeah what do you mean that guy looks like a young they all start machine.
John Mulaney is like a tall, skinny puppet. What do you mean? That guy looks like a young sex machine.

They all start like that.

John Mulaney did not look like that at any point.

They start like that, and they turn into a fucking monster.

Ventriloquist?

Yeah.

No, but no, he does not look like those young guys.

No.

No, but so you've seen Mulaney's, and you've seen Joe Coy's.

That's it, huh?

Trevor Noah.

Oh, okay. What did you think about that? I liked it.
You did, huh? Okay. How do you really feel, Andrew? I didn't say anything.
I just said you did. Andrew's about to call George.
Take that out. Take that part out.
No, I've only seen one thing he's ever done. What I'm saying is there's so many.
Yeah, there's too many. There's too many.
Yeah, there is too many.

And you know what?

It's all going to stop now.

Oh, wait.

Listen.

It's over now.

Netflix cornered the market.

Yeah.

They overpaid for comedy.

So people will walk down the street and go, hey, do you have a special on Netflix?

That's why they did that.

So they own it now.

It used to be HBO.

Remember how HBO used to be the thing? They were the biggest.

We were coming up.

We were like, I want to get an HBO special.

That was the dream of every comic.

Now it's like, I don't even know.

I don't even know. I don't even know what the dream is anymore as a comic.
I think the dream is just to continue. You know, Jay Leno.
The dream is to go viral. That's the dream.
The dream is just to create a big fan base and have them go see you live. That's what I'm saying.
That's the same thing. But I'm saying it's not about, that's good now.
Because now you can try to continue to make your own shit. Oh, well, because now it's like we need it.
Okay, before – I want people to see me live. That's all I really want.
Come see me live and have fun with me. But I'm saying before there was only certain outlets in entertainment.
So you had to go that route. Right.
So that's why it seemed as if, well, you got to work this hard to get like a sitcom, to get a special. Right.
But now, look, you could be a funny Christian comic who got a million followers and you're making $500,000 a year. More.
Those kids are selling out arenas. I mean, I'm saying it's crazy.
So there's a niche market for it. Even that guy, what's his name? Darren Chris or whatever his name is.
Country Mama. I don't know who that is.
Mama Country or whatever the hell his name is. The guy that got clowned at Just for Laughs.
At Just for Laughs. Southern Mama, is that him? Southern Mama, that's him.
Darren Knight. Darren Knight.
We'll go to the images. Images, obviously.
I don't want to see a video. I knew his name was Darren.
Yeah, he did Just for Laughs with us. This guy's huge.
Well, right. What did we do? He came to Just for Laughs.
He was a comic. Look up his net worth.
He's huge. He was on the comics to watch, right? Variety.
And you and I were together. Well, this is one of the many years that we were there.
But I remember he did his gala, right? And he bombed. And he went home because it didn't go well, right? He freaked out.
No, this was like he was on stage criticizing the other comics. Oh, he was? Yeah.
Oh, I just heard he bombed. And then they confronted him in the hallway.

Chris Redd was going in on him in the hallway.

Because he was talking shit.

Just what he was saying, the stuff he was saying.

Net worth two million is wrong.

By the way, zoom in on that website real fast.

Punch in on that website.

No, no, no.

Just pinch and pull.

Pinch.

Pinch your fingers. Oh, Jesus, George.
Go back. You know how you can just pull your fingers on that there you go look at look at the website that we try to verify glubby gang of gloob gloobie gang official yeah that's who we're gonna take you don't go there from like but anyway the guy makes so much money i know it because he's like on on uh on uh facebook too so what i'm saying though is like – and it's no knock on him.

What I'm saying is like he has his following.

Yeah, no.

Yeah, that's what you need to create.

That's it.

So now we're in a situation where you don't need – sometimes I'm on Instagram and I'm like – actually I had lunch with this kid the other day.

His name is Simi.

Oh, man.

I forget how to say his name. But anyway, he's's like he's rolling with these like nelk network nelk boys yeah yeah i know who they are yeah he rolls with them yeah dude these these people they sold like 60 million dollars in merch last year i know yeah they got like you know and this kid's like he's got two million followers he's so huge on the internet you know he wants to be a comic so that's who i met with him and i was like we can't go to open mics man you's, man.
You know what I mean? Or just tour. Who cares? But that's what I said to him, too.
I said, if you want to set it up. But I was like, it just was amazing.
It's amazing how we're now in a day and age where you can have your own fan base that no one has to know anything about right you know

what i mean yeah you can live in your own little you live your own little you have your own lane it's nice it's really amazing well it's nice it's an amazing time so are you touring by the way i'm i told them to like and let's start uh getting some stuff you gotta get out yes i just went to west palm beach i'm gonna be i'm in austin this week but i'm gonna go for this where are you doing the movie that bobby and i did together it's called hero mode is coming out so it's like I'm going to the premiere and do like Q&A.

In Austin?

Yeah.

But I saw a review of the movie and it was not good. Is that it right there? Yeah.
I saw this review of the movie and they said like, oh, there was this cringy line in the movie. And I was like, oh, I think that's my line.
What was the line? I forgot what it was. But I was like, I'm pretty sure that was my line.
So it's like, I don't know. We'll see.

Hero mode.

What do you do in the movie?

I'm a teacher.

What does he do?

Bobby's the principal of the school.

Oh, so annoying. Can you even imagine?

What a terrible film.

It's going to be bad if you both are in it together.

Yeah.

All right, what is it?

So we're doing a game in which both of you are playing the other person.

Okay.

So you have to be like Eric,

and Eric has to be like you.

Oh, no.

Oh, shit.

Here we go, everybody.

Here we go.

All right, let's do it.

Okay, let's go.

What do you think is your best and worst quality?

My best quality is my loyalty,

and my worst quality is probably my stand up

oh we gonna go that way

okay

alright bro

I said loyalty up front

I like how you like

you turned it

you know

it was like

let me start sweet

it's a fucking comedy show

alright go ahead

what kind of things will you be doing 10 years from now?

Oh.

Are you me?

Yeah, I'm you now.

Okay.

Okay.

All right, Ant.

What will you be doing in 10 years, Antino?

I'll be fighting off skin cancer because the sun really affects my- Yeah, we get it, bro. Let me do- Can I answer that one for Griff? I'll be- Here, I'll be Eric.
Ask me again. I'm Eric.
Go ahead. The Asian baby we're going to adopt will be like eight years old by then.
She's 19. All right.
What is it? Say the question what is it so Eric what kind of things will you be doing in 10 years oh this you old ass bitch alright go ahead Rudy gets to answer I'm gonna be Rudy and then Rudy gets to be Eric I'll be Rudy she should be Bobby since he's not here yeah but it's gotta be traded off of someone in this room so I'll be Rudy and then Rudy gets to be Eric. I'll be Rudy.
She should be Bobby since he's not here. Yeah, but it's got to be traded off of someone in this room.
Oh. So I'll be Rudy, and then Rudy will be Eric.
Yeah, so ask me. I'm Rudy.
Okay. Hey, Rudy.
Yes. What is your perfect weekend? Sleep.
Ballot. More slip with the dogs

slip slip slip

okay

go ahead Rudy

now you're Eric

she's gotta be you

that's unfair

look how you let himself

off the hook

now you're Eric

yeah Rudy

you're Eric

I'll be him on this question

okay

what is the strangest dream

you have ever had

uh oh

the strangest dream

hey

hey what are you doing

Thank you. That's what he likes.
He wants to see a bunch of sex scenes. It's Bobby.
I'm with Bobby and Santino in an island naked and we're just doing things with each other. That is your little dream, isn't it? What sort of things? What sort of things are we doing? See, he's into it.
What sort of things? All right. Are we eating? Are we at the buffet line? You know what? This was great.

You did great. Rudy, I'm glad you're back.

Eric, I'm glad you're black.

Ish.

Fine.

Thank you, Eric. I want you to end the show.

Look in your single and say thank you for being a bad friend.

You'll take us out.

Alright, hey, thank you for being a bad friend.

Perfect. being a bad friend you'll take us out all right hey thank you for being a bad friend let's create a horror movie right now okay what are you afraid of what am i the most afraid of yeah that's i think we should play on our fears right yeah first of all what we you and i are both if we were going to write a horror movie yeah figure out what our fears are right and then we'll just try to wrap a movie okay middle of nowhere stuff creeps me the fuck out like if like i'm always down for...
Middle of nowhere films, I'm always like, ooh, it's so sketchy.

Okay, middle of nowhere.

So, like, in the woods.

But in the mountains in the woods.

In the mountains in the woods.

Even more dangerous, right?

Where you can lose power, it can be cold.

Yeah.

Right, so...

Mine has to do with the ocean.

Okay, so, on a mountain over the ocean.

We got there.

We're just being in the middle of the ocean.

Oh, okay, we're gonna put it on a boat, then.

No, we'll do both. No, no, but listen.
Middle of nowhere is the middle of the ocean so okay we're gonna put it on a boat then no we'll do both no no but listen middle of nowhere is the middle of the ocean to me okay one in the same right so how about how about one where it's on an island but is that islands are wonderful what a great place to be haunted okay a haunted island a haunted island perfect perfect perfect then here's another thing that i'm afraid of. Being buried alive.
Everyone. Everyone.

That's everyone's fear.

That's everyone's fear.

What is it?

Kids?

I've got it.

You and I wake up.

You and I.

Okay.

You.

Okay.

Starts on you.

Right.

Sand is in your mouth.

You climb out.

Yeah, yeah.

You were buried alive.

Right?

All right.

So what you're saying is that I'm a guy, right?

Yeah, that's right. How about this?

Let me just create my character.

I'm a guy, right?

Yeah.

And I work at how about this let me just create my character I'm a guy right yeah

and I work at like a liquor store in New York correct okay in Harlem so yeah I'm

can't I'm logging out I'm closing the source not a 24-hour place right so I'm

locking everything up right and it shows me like just walking with my backpack to

my little squalor house mm-hmm I have a really i live in the basement somewhere in chinatown what you live in chinatown oh why does it okay anyway i'm chinese feels right i'm chinese for this movie you're chinese okay i'll be chinese i'll be black in the movie we're right we're right we're right we're right we're right we're right yeah you live in the basement of a chinese food store. And it just shows me a little montage of me cooking some ramen, putting some ramen in it.

Rat runs by.

Rat runs by.

And a really rickety table sitting there.

I'm slurping on the ramen.

I'm watching something on TV, the news or something.

Gravity or TV.

There's a cut scene where I'm just kind of reading a book on a mat. That's where I sleep.
On the floor? Yeah. I'm all sad.
This guy is so sad. So something, right? Gravity or TV.
Right. There's a cut scene where I'm just kind of reading a book on a mat.

That's where I sleep.

On the floor?

Yeah.

Oh, sad.

This guy is so sad.

So sad, right?

And then I plug in my iPhone

or whatever.

I have a phone, right?

Samsung.

Samsung.

Okay.

Gotta be Samsung?

All right, Samsung.

I plug in my Samsung.

Chinatown iPhone.

Right, right, right.

Go ahead.

Yeah.

Does it matter

what kind of TV

I'm looking at or. Chinatown.
Right, right, right. Yeah.
Does it matter what kind of TV I'm looking at? Toshiba. Toshiba? Toshiba.
Yeah, yeah. A tube TV, no less.
Like an old tube, not a flat screen. So I assume just by your thinking, I'm wearing a kimono.
100%. What else would you be wearing at your house? So just, all right.
Out in public, you have street clothes. Right.
Come on, I have a sword. A sword.
And your hair is in a bun. Must be.
And what's in it? What's holding your hair up? A chopsticks. Chopsticks, that's correct.
Oh, you racist fuck. All right.
Come on, come on. Let's get back to where we want to be.
All right. So I'm.
So you're. For some reason.
For some reason. For some reason.
I'm wearing regular clothes. You're wearing regular clothes.
At the liquor store. But when I get home, there's got to even montage where I put the.
Come on. I put the chopsticks in my hair.
People will love it. People love it.
I have a Samsung. Toshiba.
Samsung phone. A Toshiba TV.
TV? Right. Oh, shit, right? Okay, so you're slurping your nose.
Right, right. Then you lay on your mat.
I lay on my bamboo mat. Your bamboo mat.
Bamboo mat, right? Yeah. Right, and then I wake up on an island.
You wake up crawling out of sand. Crawling out of sand.
Yes. Naked.
Butt naked. Butt naked.
Yeah. Right.

How about, how about, I still have the chopsticks in my hair.

Oh, you got it.

Yeah.

Yeah. Because we need to have you have materials to use.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right.

For some reason, I still have the bun.

Perfect.

With the chopstick in my hair.

I come out, right?

Yes.

Oh, I'm completely naked, right?

And it's the brutal day of the sun.

It's the sun.

Right.

It's bright, bright.

It's the morning.

And all of a sudden, you, your character, digs out, right?

And you're wearing like a green suit. Like a leprechaun And you're wearing like a green Suit Like a leprechaun And where my penis is Is a little pot of gold A little tiny pot of gold So you're wearing a leprechaun costume Alright, how about this? Look, okay All of the bullshit.
All of the bullshit aside, we both wake up on the island.

Okay, be fine.

We're both butt naked.

We wake up on the island.

We wake up on the island.

And you and I are ready to fight because we don't know how this happened.

Did you do this to me?

No, of course.

That's not going to – we're both coming out of holes.

I'm not going to go – did you put me in this hole, bury me, and then put yourself in a hole and bury yourself?

Yes, yes, yes.

No.

That's the logic.

That's not the logic.

So we jump out of the hole.

Yeah, we jump out of the hole.

We're freaked out.

We're panicked.

Of course we are.

We have no idea what's going on.

Where are we?

Oh, you always say something like,

who are you?

Who are you?

Yeah, you're right.

That's the dialogue.

Who are you?

Who are you?

You're right.

And we kind of calm down.

We try to calm down.

I go, all right, so my name is Yoshi. Am I Yoshi? Yoshi.
Yoshi, right? And I'm? Yeah. Lucky.
Lucky. I'm not Yoshi.
I'm lucky. Yeah, yeah.
Do we have to have accents? For this, we should. I'm a Yoshi.
I'm lucky. I'm Yoshi.
I'm lucky, lucky Yoshi What are we doing here? Okay, so In this island It's not a big island Very small It's maybe what? A half a mile around? Not even Quarter mile around Quarter mile around, right Very small But there is In the middle of the island It is dense, dense There's trees Thick Thick Very thick But there is a path Right Right You and I You go It's you go, it's so hot out here. We have to get covered.
We have to get covered. I'm going to get sunburned.
Yeah, you're almost in flames. I'm done.
Right. And I go, all right, so let's, I found a trail.
We go on the trail. In the middle of this island is a statue of her.

Her eyes are black.

Black.

Right?

And there's red blood tears.

Right there.

Right.

Blood tears. Right?

And obviously she has knives.

There's like a little message underneath.

What does it say?

I can't read it.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Yeah.

Woo.

Yeah.