Rudy Gets Dengue Fever Feat. Erik Griffin

Speaker 1 You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 2 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 We're bad friends.

Speaker 1 Welcome back to Bad Friends, baby. Are we rolling?

Speaker 1 We are rolling. Huh? We're rolling.
Are we rolling? Rudy Jules is here. Hello.
Hey, everybody. I'm a big fat liar.

Speaker 1 Andrew, Andrew. Yeah, Bob.

Speaker 1 You're the worst.

Speaker 1 Let me start this off the way that he had it on the show here.

Speaker 1 Okay, hell yeah.

Speaker 1 Welcome back to Bad Friends. You should have pulled your dick out of John.

Speaker 1 Here's the real Bad Friends.

Speaker 1 Welcome back to Good Friends.

Speaker 1 We're here with Rudy Jules is back in town. Good friends, huh? Me and Eric Griff are back, baby.

Speaker 1 We could either be good friends or we have to be like

Speaker 1 some sort of bathroom utensil brothers.

Speaker 1 talk about we'd be like the toenail clipper kids brush bros

Speaker 1 whatever

Speaker 1 rudy where were you i was in hawaii i can't hear you is your mic not on you went to hawaii no her mic's not on

Speaker 1 how much are you paying this chair hold on one second ridiculous hold on so what were you guys doing before i got here that this shit isn't ready to go 100

Speaker 1 that's exactly correct what's going on george was sitting there in the seat but by the way george George is back. George is sitting in the seat doing nothing.
Go ahead and test it out. Hello.

Speaker 1 Now we can hear.

Speaker 1 This is like

Speaker 1 you board the plane, and then they're like, oh, you know what? The wings.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sums up with the wings, so we can't fly yet. What were you doing? What the fuck are you guys doing for the process?

Speaker 1 I just came back from New York, and they...

Speaker 1 It's so funny because they were like, we have to clean and disinfect the plane. We clean and disinfect the plane before everybody gets on it, right? They say that every time.
The plane parked.

Speaker 1 People got off. Within seconds.
They boarded that bitch. I was like, they didn't

Speaker 1 clean it.

Speaker 1 Did you? Did you know? There's a dude like,

Speaker 1 he's like, they're gone. They're going to get on.
No, it's like,

Speaker 1 they're not cleaning it. They're spraying some sort of like disinfected.
I've seen it. Yeah, I feel like we're like corn.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 1 We're going to grow ears.

Speaker 1 Yeah, man. I think that's the thing.
And they're really adamant about

Speaker 1 the filtration system. And don't worry.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We're basically, when you you get on a plane, you're basically saying, look,

Speaker 1 I may or may not get COVID, but I need to get where the fuck I'm going. Yes.
That was the whole point. That's what this is about.

Speaker 1 Save this dog and pony show for someone else.

Speaker 1 There was a woman who complained about the middle seats not being open. I talked about this.
I was like,

Speaker 1 you got in on the tube with strangers.

Speaker 1 You're done. Yeah.
No rights. It's over.

Speaker 1 You can't complain about the middle seats. This was a month ago, too.
The middle seats are supposed to be blocked off. She was like, ma'am, that's as of the first.

Speaker 1 We're filling in in all the seats now yeah she was like that wasn't on the ticket dad and she's like ma'am you can leave you can get off yeah yeah or you can go to atlanta yeah what do you want to do you know this is the same feeling i have about like people don't understand it you have a social contract yeah when you get on a plane yeah like so you're getting on the plane with others yeah so you don't get to act like this is your private jet bitch this is delta okay

Speaker 1 and you got other people on the plane i can't stand with people act like oh you know it's like no no no man.

Speaker 1 I even feel the same way about like apartment living. Like when you're living in an apartment, you have a contract with these other people who live here.
There's going to be noise.

Speaker 1 There's going to be people going to be walking around. Coming and going.
People are going to be coming and going. People that act like, oh, you're making too much noise.
Hey,

Speaker 1 go buy six acres of land someplace, bitch, and get out. And get out.
Get out. When you're living here, shut up.
Like, shut up. Yeah.
I couldn't agree. My music up louder.
Fuck you.

Speaker 1 It's like three o'clock in the afternoon, like whatever it is. Excuse me, sir.
The music is loud. Yeah, it's like you're living with other people.

Speaker 1 We're basically all living in the same house. That's what an apartment is.
Yeah. No, you can't complain.
That's the problem.

Speaker 1 Once you live with other people, you learn. And if you hate it that much, get out.
Move far away. Check this out, too.
You live in a city. You live in one of the most dense cities.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What do you want me to do? What's going to happen? There's noise. Right.
Imagine. Bill Gates and

Speaker 1 Belinda Gates. Rest in peace.
They live in like a 300-acre mansion, right? They They literally live in the same house and never see each other.

Speaker 1 And these motherfuckers still was like, I got to get away from here.

Speaker 1 She was like in the other part of the estate. There's servants and there's robots and shit.
You could be in your own area. They don't exist.
And she's in this mansion like this.

Speaker 1 I can't stand him.

Speaker 1 Imagine living like, you know, you're in a two-bedroom apartment in Rashida.

Speaker 1 She's

Speaker 1 putting out the woodwork. Do you know about this? She's got her lawyers.
She's going on him. Her lawyers are trying to find, they're like, and there's photos of him with Epstein.

Speaker 1 And like, they're trying to clip him every angle, man. How much money of his money does she need? Well, here's the trick with her.
She's giving it all away. Have you seen this? I've talented

Speaker 1 search how much money Melinda Gates is giving. Well, they both have given away money.
I know, but this is her goal. I think she wants to take all of his shit just to give it away.

Speaker 1 That's revenge. Like, like the OJ people? Yes, bro.
Yes. She wants to be in front of the courthouse burning his money.

Speaker 1 Look at that.

Speaker 1 Well, where is it? It's just Melinda Gates, though. If you can see what she's given, she has this big philanthropic need to give away all of his money.

Speaker 1 And she said her half that she got from him, she's going to give away like 80% of it. She wants all of it gone.
Check it out. Check it out.
Ooh. Right.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're going to give away 80% of $50 billion?

Speaker 1 Like, go fuck yourself, man. Like, she acts like it's like, oh, I'm putting myself out and I'm giving away.
I'm only going to have like 3 billion left. Right.

Speaker 1 Fuck off, lady. Fuck off.
I want to see them put it all into Bitcoin and then we'll see what happens.

Speaker 1 I want to see the person that has only like $10,000 and they go, I'm giving all my money away to charity. That means something.
Yeah, that does. You're right.
You're right.

Speaker 1 Well, what can you even do with all that money?

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying. You have to give it away.
The foundation spent $5 billion in 2019 on programs in the United States around the world, excluding management costs from 94 to 18.

Speaker 1 They've given away 36 billion. Yeah, that's not what I was looking for.
But anyway, I do know she gave, she's trying to give away all of his money, which I think is a bad bitch move.

Speaker 1 She's like, fuck this dude. I'm going to bury him.
I'm going to give away all this money.

Speaker 1 My thing is like this.

Speaker 1 What did she think the relationship was going to be like? First of all, he's a crazy nerd. So is she, right? Right.
But he's got like all this money.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 you think he was going to be regular husband?

Speaker 1 I got $50 billion.

Speaker 1 Give me $50 billion. Me and Rachel are going to have a whole different relationship.

Speaker 1 I give you $50 billion. You go, Rachel? Yeah.
Rachel, who's Rachel? Who's Rachel?

Speaker 1 No, I'd still be with her, but she would be like, you know, on the other side of the. And then she'd leave you and take your half.
That's what happened.

Speaker 1 Rudy, where did you come back from, Rudy? We went to Hawaii. Welcome back, Rudy.
Hi. Hi.

Speaker 1 You look tan. Do you miss Bobby?

Speaker 2 No. No.

Speaker 1 No way.

Speaker 1 I want to tell you about my Bobby called me the other day when

Speaker 1 I was in New York. I'll tell you about it.
But

Speaker 1 I want to hear about Hawaii.

Speaker 1 Did you have fun?

Speaker 2 Yeah, we went diving, snorkeling, and hiking.

Speaker 1 Yeah? Did you catch any fish?

Speaker 2 No, we didn't.

Speaker 1 You didn't spear any fish? Weren't you guys?

Speaker 1 Wait, hold on.

Speaker 2 Yeah, in Las Vegas, but not in Hawaii.

Speaker 1 Oh, I thought you did that in Hawaii, too. Hold on a second.
Oh. Hold on a second.

Speaker 1 Can you tell me about, okay, all that boring shit you just said?

Speaker 1 Tell me the good stuff. Did you meet any dudes? Did you, like, you know,

Speaker 1 look at her face? Look at her face. What happened?

Speaker 1 Was it like a pool boy that was flirting with you? It's a strict rule that it's a no-dude policy.

Speaker 1 And if she did meet somebody, she knows she can't say it in front of me because Papa Santino doesn't put up with that. She's not dating Chulch.
But I met. 30?

Speaker 1 35. You're right.

Speaker 1 What did you wait? What did you say? Did you meet somebody?

Speaker 2 I was in the post office today

Speaker 2 to mail something.

Speaker 1 You see what you've done to her? I know. She went to Hawaii, a beautiful setting.
Couldn't meet a dude. Yeah.
At the post office, she met a guy. She met a guy.

Speaker 2 No, but

Speaker 2 there was a guy, and he was cute, and then he asked me if I was Rudy.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah. And what did you say?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, and?

Speaker 2 And then he said I was doing good in the podcast.

Speaker 1 Okay, and?

Speaker 2 And I said bye.

Speaker 1 She genius. You cut to them in the back of the room.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 she knows. She says, yes, thank you.
Leave me alone. You should have made him pay for your shipping.
What were you at the post office for?

Speaker 2 I was returning my dress from prom.

Speaker 1 Oh, do we have pictures of that?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 2 I have pictures in my Instagram of that dress.

Speaker 1 Oh, you do? Who'd you go to prom with?

Speaker 2 Myself.

Speaker 1 Like a boss. How was prom? It was really fun.
What did you do? What happened? Give me some prom stories. Ooh, Rudy.

Speaker 1 Woo!

Speaker 1 Rudy looking sharp, dude. Look at that.
You and that dress. That's fancy.
That's cool. It's like tie-dye.
Yeah. Was it a theme to prom? What was the...

Speaker 2 No, there was no theme.

Speaker 1 Really? Didn't we used to do themes? Yeah. I feel like that was a thing.
Well, your thing was always like casino night at your high school, I'm sure. It was like.

Speaker 1 And yours was in the 40s, so that was just real for you, old ass bitch. Don't talk about me.

Speaker 1 When did you graduate high school again? Yours was. No, be for real.
When did you graduate high school? Prohibition. It was like.

Speaker 1 It's always a drunk thing. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're like, that's not the theme.

Speaker 1 I graduated in 1990. When were you born?

Speaker 2 2001.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ. You could have had two families by the time she was.
I know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I have two. Yeah, living in different stages there.
You have to fly back and forth. Right.
You're a traveling salesman. Yeah.
Smoking on airplanes. Rudy, you look great.

Speaker 1 That's such a nice photo. And you took yourself, right? Yeah.
Why? Did you not get asked?

Speaker 2 Yes, and I also didn't want to be with a guy.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 We can't let this go. Okay.
Did you want to go with a girl instead? No. Okay, well, you just said it like that.
Don't know me like that. You went, I didn't want to be with a guy.

Speaker 1 That sounded very literal. It was about a guy.
You just didn't want to go with somebody. Yeah, I just wanted to be with.
Wait, wait, why? Why? The guy that asked you

Speaker 1 why

Speaker 1 there's no eye candy you could have brought with you? Why is it going to be awkward?

Speaker 2 Because I don't know how to

Speaker 2 interact with them.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? Yes, you do. This is because of you people.
This is not me. She lives in Bobby's house.
She don't even know how to deal with me because she thinks men are you and Bobby.

Speaker 1 Like, imagine? No. Imagine that her example of men is you and Bobby.
We're uncles. We're her uncles, okay?

Speaker 1 She knows how to find her. That's why she had the post office like, oh, hey.

Speaker 1 She was in Hawaii and couldn't find nothing in the post office. She was like, oh.
Maybe she doesn't want to find a dude, right, Rudy? See? She's independent, bro. She doesn't need that.

Speaker 1 Because you've scared her. That's right.
Bringing no boys around this studio. I guess it worked.
Yeah, but you know what, Rudy? I think that's cool that you went alone. That's a smart move.

Speaker 1 Eric went alone, but that was not by choice. That was just because.

Speaker 1 Ain't nobody gonna ask your ass

Speaker 1 you should okay i'm gonna bring that

Speaker 1 pictures okay i want to see it you gotta see the dime piece i went with i want to see it i do want to see did you yeah yeah prom was fun what did you do what was your prom like i don't even remember dude i was see i barely remember that stuff so wait you went to hawaii you had you had a bunch of fun with with kalila and her sister right and then you came back you went to prom You killed it at prom.

Speaker 1 No Hawaii pictures, by the way.

Speaker 1 No. Why? Well, you don't want to see the real things that happen.
No, they don't want to show off how fancy she is because they were probably staying in the four seasons and all that stuff.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? With sweets and stuff. I know.
Richie Rich over here. I know.

Speaker 1 Who did you hang out with at the prom? Do you have a group of friends?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I have. And then this girl was so high that she was becoming annoying.

Speaker 1 What was she on?

Speaker 2 I don't know. She just smoked something.

Speaker 1 She smoked something and just was becoming

Speaker 1 annoying, yeah.

Speaker 1 That is annoying. Their generation.
I was in Best Buy yesterday picking up

Speaker 1 a card, a little card, and

Speaker 1 these girls of the register were probably the same age, like 19, 20, you know, whatever, and were losing their minds because a dude, I don't know, you may know,

Speaker 1 Charlie DiMelio's boyfriend was there. Do you know who that is?

Speaker 2 Noah Beck.

Speaker 1 Noah Beck, is that his name? Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 1 She pulled that out of her. Well, as I said, it was like the same age.
Bro, well, they couldn't check me out because this guy was in the store. The store was shut down for this cat.

Speaker 1 People were losing their minds for this dude. I never heard of him in my entire life.
I know who she is, the TikTok girl. Is that him?

Speaker 1 I think.

Speaker 2 Wait, that's Dixie's boyfriend. I don't know about Charlie's.

Speaker 1 See, look at they, I knew she would know. I just don't get it.
What do you mean you don't get it? He's like a hunky, hot, young dude. What do you mean?

Speaker 1 But there's probably like a thousand that look just like him. I know, but he's probably appealed.
He's probably has a famous on YouTube or some shit.

Speaker 1 They all got to have the same level of fame to date each other. I get that.
That's the kid. That was him.
That was him. Long hair.
That was him. Yeah, the other one didn't look like him.
That was him.

Speaker 1 What's his name?

Speaker 1 Chase Hudson.

Speaker 1 I love one, George.

Speaker 1 You're a Chase Hudson. I know.
I love George.

Speaker 1 I love the Dor. He's such a dork.
I love him. Like, those two guys, that would be a great sitcom.
Dracula and Dork and Dorkier.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Dracula and Pink Tit.

Speaker 1 If they were gay, that'd be a great, like, you know, like, yeah.

Speaker 1 If? I'm George, I want to take you out. So I may.

Speaker 1 I like how you mistake.

Speaker 1 I like how you mistake. He's from Spain, but you think he's from Transylvania.

Speaker 1 He's got a little Transylvania in there. Yes, he does.
He's like, I want to go. No, that is a good call because when I mock him, when I go, finance advise.

Speaker 1 It does kind of sound Transylvanian.

Speaker 1 Do you think Fancy B might be a vampire? I think so. Yeah? He does kind of exude some of the qualities.
He stays up all night.

Speaker 1 He's probably 700 years old, and we don't realize it. Nah, I see some signs of his age for sure.
No, because you know what? If you were, let's say you really were a vampire,

Speaker 1 people would notice you. You couldn't be on Instagram.
Like, to really survive, you got to be a dork. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 You have to be one dude who edits at night and

Speaker 1 no windows. Nobody.
Nobody really knows him.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Because no one's going to be like, oh, my God, you look like somebody I met when I was a little kid. No, he's just going to be like a, you know,

Speaker 1 introverted. Like.

Speaker 1 It's true. An editor.
He sits in a dark room. Don't you, fans? You sit in a dark room editing all day and all night, don't you? That's my life.
That's my life. And I don't really know.

Speaker 1 And I don't really know his wife isn't real. We've never seen her.
You know that, right? Never. No one knows who she is.

Speaker 1 George, have you ever seen his wife?

Speaker 1 I think it was a plant, though. You know, she was way too attractive for him.
Yeah, it was a beard. It was a pay.

Speaker 1 He hired her. Hired her.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I have her in the basement.

Speaker 1 Oh, in the basement.

Speaker 1 I have her in the basement.

Speaker 1 I've made him across the basement. Which is basically just his apartment.
Right. I live in the basement.

Speaker 1 I live in the basement? She lives with me. Click on the first photo of this guy.
Look at this guy. Jay Wedson.

Speaker 1 Do you like him, Rudy? Is he good looking? He's not. Not at all.
What about him do you not like? Because he seems like he's a cute guy. Am I wrong? He's a little androgynous, too.

Speaker 1 I think that's the people.

Speaker 1 He seems like he might be a chick and a dude. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What do you not like about this guy, Rudy?

Speaker 2 I've just seen him a lot in TikTok.

Speaker 1 Oh, you know. Okay, so you know.
So you're annoyed by him. Yeah, that's what it is.
But you don't find him attractive?

Speaker 1 Well, that's like...

Speaker 1 Well, I guess that makes sense, though, because

Speaker 1 if you do see someone enough and they just piss you off, you're like, I can't stand this.

Speaker 1 Who do you find attractive?

Speaker 1 Of these guys, these young, famous guys. Who's the guy that you go, ooh?

Speaker 1 Who is on your Tiger Beat? Yeah. I have no idea what he is.

Speaker 2 I like Vinny Hacker.

Speaker 1 Vinny Hacker. Let's see.
Not his real name for sure. If it is, wow.
It looks like the same guy.

Speaker 1 I'm the same guy.

Speaker 1 No. He's even more gay, this one.
I like gay.

Speaker 1 This guy, what do you like about it? This guy looks just pull up a side-by-side of this guy and the other guy. The same guy.
That's the same guy.

Speaker 1 They are the same guy. Look at them.
Same guy.

Speaker 1 Same guy. That's literally the.
If you said to me, is that the same guy? I'd go, yes, of course that's the same guy. They look exactly

Speaker 1 alike.

Speaker 1 They do.

Speaker 1 Who does Vinnie Hacker date, Rude?

Speaker 2 No one.

Speaker 1 Well, could be Rudy Jules. Reach out to him on the Graham.
No. Why not? Look at this guy's lips.

Speaker 1 How old is this guy? That's injections for sure. Is he getting his lips injected? Jesus.
It's weird nowadays. He's got got some juicy lips.
We've been like, what's up, girl? Guys.

Speaker 1 How do guys have DSLs now? That's not a big thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Boys have DSLs. Like, that's insane.
I get it. Look at this.
Yeah, but that's all manufactured, right?

Speaker 1 He's not born like that. That looks like those are women lips.
Yeah, like, how does he, like, I would just like to see him like on a Tuesday, like at 4 p.m., just regular. Because this looks all.

Speaker 1 Well, okay, scroll down. Let's see if there's like...
This is all made up stuff. Let's see if there's just

Speaker 1 ever normal.

Speaker 1 I mean, on the far left, that was him. Top left, that one.
Yeah, that looks like it's just in the during the day randomly, right? No, he's still not. No, no, he's still posing.
Yeah, he's posing.

Speaker 1 He's done up at all times. But that's his shit.
You understand, Rudy? This is all fake. No, this is real.
Don't ruin it. No, I'm saying like that.
Don't ruin my fantasy. Scroll down.

Speaker 1 This is all fake. You're right, though.

Speaker 1 And he looks exactly like the other guy. But let her have Vinny Hacker.

Speaker 1 She likes Vinny Hacker. So you're into white guys like this.

Speaker 1 No brown for you, huh?

Speaker 2 I like brown.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, wait. Quick.
Who is that for?

Speaker 1 That's like, is your family watching? And they just went like this.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I like brown. I like brown.
I do. I love brown.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but every guy you've mentioned on the show that you think is cute has been a white guy.

Speaker 2 Okay, this one.

Speaker 2 Manny from Good Girls.

Speaker 1 Manny from Good Girls. What's Good Girls? Is that a Netflix show? Yeah.
I never heard of it.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm thinking of a different show. Good girls is a great show.
Oh, that him, right? That's him? So you like Manny?

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's hot.

Speaker 1 Okay, he's hot. Yeah, no, he is attractive.
I think you're right there. Yeah, so if he kind of looks like Travis Barker with that beat.

Speaker 1 No, but what I'm saying is the brown guys she likes have to be like very light-skinned. In Mexican cartel type of like bad boys.
Right.

Speaker 1 But the white guy could just be like, hi, I'm white with big lips. You know what I mean? Yeah, hi, I am white with big lips.
This is actually a great show. I like this show.
Good girls? Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's it about, Rude?

Speaker 2 Moms that are stealing stuff.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've seen the preview of this. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Somebody who's really famous that's in it. It's one famous lead, right? I don't think she's all that famous.
No, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she is.
There's one. I've seen the poster of it.

Speaker 1 These are the people. Oh, well, Christina Hendrix.
I know Mae Whitman. She's a great actor.
She's really dope. Oh, and Retta.
You know Retta. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
But they're just, you know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but Christina Hendrix. But they're all great.
It's a great show. Mae Whitman is very, she's dope.
I think she's really talented. I watched that show.
I should watch it. I've seen the billboard.

Speaker 1 I've just never

Speaker 1 checked it out.

Speaker 1 Oh, David Hornsby. You know who he is?

Speaker 1 Cricket. Cricket from Sony.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God.
From Always Sunny? Yeah, he's hilarious. He is funny as hell.
He plays a really weird character in this. He's funny, dude.

Speaker 1 That dude's, he's one of those guys that will go the rest of his career working, doing funny shit. And then only at the very end, you'll go, man, that guy was incredible.
You know what I mean? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, so many people wonder. Where they find him dead

Speaker 1 in a condo in Sherman Oaks. Yeah.

Speaker 1 In his basement?

Speaker 1 I keep David Hunsby in my basement.

Speaker 1 David Hornsby is actually my wife.

Speaker 1 Matthew Lillard's really good, too. He's been a lot of good.

Speaker 1 I'm stuck on watching documentaries now because I've been sitting on so many planes and downloading Netflix. I tried to watch that Hillbilly Elegy.
Have you seen that? No. Have you seen that?

Speaker 1 Did you guys see that?

Speaker 3 Nope.

Speaker 1 I can't do documentaries. No, no, no Hillbilly Elegy is a movie.
I tried to watch that, and I went right back to documentaries. Yeah, Ron Howard directed it.
It's Amy Adams and Glenn Close, yeah.

Speaker 1 What I hate doing is I start watching like a series on Netflix and then you finish this like season two, let's say, right? And you're like, oh man, I actually like that.

Speaker 1 And then you look it up and it goes, this was canceled eight years ago. Right.
You know, and it's, you know, it happens every time. Yeah, I was watching, I just watched a Shinara Chronicles.

Speaker 1 What is that? It's just kind of like elf, you know, elf human sci-fi fantasy show. And it's so bad.
Okay, like the acting and even the special effects are terrible, but I, it was addictive.

Speaker 1 And I watched the whole thing. Then I looked it up and it was like, that's a no on season three because of bad ratings and terrible.
And I was like, oh, man. We've lived that life together.

Speaker 1 Who are you telling? I just got a couple of residual checks from Showtime. It's so funny.
Are they still showing I'm dying of yes? Because I'm tired of people sending us messages saying

Speaker 1 every other day I'm getting a message about like, oh, this is a great show. When is it coming back? Or I can't believe they canceled it.
Really? You can't believe they canceled it?

Speaker 1 We should continue the lie and just be like, it is coming back. It's coming back.
We're coming back. 2024.
We'll be right back. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Griff, address what's on your arm, by the way, because people oh i i had i got an iv i got a immune boost iv drip drip drip i got a drip drip i like doing it and i got a

Speaker 1 vitamin d shot in my booty really why do they got to go on your booty i that's what i always say is that preference no i preference they're like armor your boy

Speaker 1 and you're like

Speaker 1 how big

Speaker 1 i make the same joke with the nurse every time you gotta take me to dinner first girl

Speaker 1 How funny, she's autistic. She puts it down.
She's like, okay. And you guys have to go to dinner.
And you're like, fuck.

Speaker 1 Have you ever had an IV rude?

Speaker 2 Yeah, when I had dengue.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 When you had dengue fever, you had fucking dengue fever. I thought she was dating a black guy.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I got that dengue.

Speaker 1 Is that what the young kids are calling it? You know about that dengue. Oh, he got that.

Speaker 1 You only like white guys. She's like, I like brown and dengue.

Speaker 1 Dark chocolate. When did you fucking get dengue fever?

Speaker 2 In the Philippines.

Speaker 1 Is that common to get? Yeah. What's going on there? Is it just like the wild, wild west there?

Speaker 1 Can you Google dengue fever? Like, I can't believe that's that common. People still get that?

Speaker 1 I know it's common in parts of the world, but I don't think you...

Speaker 1 You lived in a developed part of the Philippines, right? No?

Speaker 1 I'm so ignorant. It's just caused by a mosquito bite, right? Or any kind of bug bite.

Speaker 2 Mosquito bite.

Speaker 1 But what does it make you do? It's very, look, very rare. Very rare.
Oh, that's fewer than 20,000 cases in the U.S. Look internationally how rare it is, though.
Everything is rare here.

Speaker 1 Like, international numbers must be huge. Africa, I think, is massive.
It says dengue fever international flights. Holy shit.
100 to 400 million infections every year. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think Africa gets dengue fever constantly. Go back to the last page because I want to see more about dengue fever.
Were these all your symptoms? Is this what you felt? Fever, headache, muscle joint?

Speaker 1 Did you have like vomiting, diarrhea, all that stuff?

Speaker 2 Yeah, and I I had like weird red dots all over my body.

Speaker 1 Wow. How long did it last?

Speaker 2 Two weeks.

Speaker 1 Two weeks?

Speaker 1 It's like you had Rona. You had dengue Rona.
And what? Did you lose weight? Yeah. Dengue diet.
I'm on the dengue diet. I lost seven to ten pounds.

Speaker 1 Let me get this straight.

Speaker 1 How much did you lose? 400 million people a year. Is that what that said? Yeah, around the world.
Get it. I know.
So 400 million people around the world get that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And we didn't shut down the world economy for it? Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 We'll be right back with Breitbart News with Eric Griffin.

Speaker 1 How many people die of dengue? Say that. Well, you know, the number one killer in the world is fat.
Diarrhea.

Speaker 1 More people die in Africa from diarrhea, from dehydration and diarrhea, from getting sick and they die.

Speaker 1 Look at this, though. How many people die of dengue every single year? Up to 400 million people get infected.
22,000 die. That's nothing.
How many people die from diarrhea?

Speaker 1 They would shut down the the economy for 22,000. I mean, maybe.

Speaker 1 Maybe in LA they would.

Speaker 1 How many people die from diarrhea a year? Like, look at this. You would shut clubs? Staggering.

Speaker 1 1.6 million people died from diarrhea. Go globally.

Speaker 1 Can you believe that? Wow. 800,000 died from suicide.
400,000. Yeah, died from suicide.
What happens? Are you just on the toilet?

Speaker 1 But then you're just like,

Speaker 1 you just like fall out?

Speaker 1 I just don't get it. Yeah, they die from slipping off the toilet, cracking their head on the fucking sink.
That would make sense. You get real slippery on the toilet.
No, it's not.

Speaker 1 Or no, you know how they die? Rushing to the toilet and they can't get their pants down, and then they fall and they hit their head. And that probably happens.

Speaker 1 This is the most. You never shit your pants? No.
Have you shit your pants? Dude, I'm over 40. You shit your pants when you're over 40.
No. There's two people in here that are 40.

Speaker 1 Have you shit your pants, P.D.?

Speaker 1 Nope.

Speaker 1 Have you fancy?

Speaker 3 Let's define what is shitting your pants.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right. Well, what's the definition of pants? No, no, no, no, no, no.
You know what he just said?

Speaker 1 He just said, I have farted a few times.

Speaker 1 Maybe a little bit of shit might come out. I'm not sure if I'm drinking this man's blood.
I farted. He said, a little shit has come out on a fart every now and then.
That's what I mean.

Speaker 1 You don't mean like I'm just sitting around and just like

Speaker 1 you know what I mean? I'm like, oh my god. You tooted and booted.
Yeah. Wait a minute, fans, did that happen to you? Did you squeeze out a little shark skis?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I love the just the yeah. Yeah.
Where was it? When was it?

Speaker 4 Um

Speaker 3 I was doing Bad Friends one day.

Speaker 1 You were here?

Speaker 1 Listen, he is terrible at improv. He is.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sometimes he's.

Speaker 1 Like, literally,

Speaker 1 the scenario just turned into something completely.

Speaker 1 Could I add a little bit to how bad he is at improv? Well, yeah, I just started him some improv classes last night. Here's his improv.

Speaker 1 Hello, George, who has a wife and a kid. It is raining outside.
Did you really go to improv class, fans? I did. You did? Yeah.
What the fuck? How come we haven't talked to him? What did you go to?

Speaker 1 Improv class? Where did you film that? Where was the camera crew for that? Where did you go to... Did you do online?

Speaker 3 No, no, no. It was in person.

Speaker 1 Where?

Speaker 3 It came.

Speaker 3 This coach came to us.

Speaker 1 Oh, this sounds like some like... That's how you ended up.
Did you hire a fucking improv coach? I did. Oh, my God.
Where did you find him, though? Is he reputable? Because this seems like a...

Speaker 1 Craigslist. Oh, okay.
Exactly. Yeah.
It's where the best improvers are hanging out on Craigslist.

Speaker 1 Fancy, I'm proud of you for improving. That's great.
Yeah. Good for you, fans.
Fuck yes. We do have to record that.
George, next time we do have to record that, please. Okay.
Yeah, there's no doubt.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that is

Speaker 1 gold. That's for this show.
That's for this show.

Speaker 1 And then bring that improv teacher on.

Speaker 1 No, you know, I'm not doing that shit. Yeah, just no, zoom him in.
It'll be like, tell us. And then have that guy do an improv class with you and bobby

Speaker 1 that would be hilarious he'd have to pay us man he'd have to pay us the big bucks speaking of which bobo called me when i was in jersey where was i yeah i was coming back from jersey which by the way i did my last socially distanced show

Speaker 1 they had me in um

Speaker 1 in the hard rock in a we sold out both shows 7 000 seat arena We're fucking Kevin Hart plays because they had to spread out all these chairs because it was booked before the final. Oh.

Speaker 1 I did the show on Sunday. On fucking Monday.
They could have put it in the regular venue or whatever, but it had been booked during COVID. Well, how many people were in there?

Speaker 1 Each show was, I could actually look. Each show, I'm going to look right now, but bro, I walked how did it look though? How did it feel?

Speaker 1 I mean, dude, they did the best job that they could, but it was, it was, it was all so spread out. Yeah, it was so, how, I mean, it was like,

Speaker 1 uh,

Speaker 1 it was a bummer because I was like, this was so spread out. So the total numbers was, it was like 1,200 people total.
So 600 a show.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 1 I know, trust me. It was bananas.
It was so spread out. I was just in Florida, West Palm Beach.
And yeah, it's fine. You wouldn't even know.
No, I know. Well, I did, same thing.
I was in Dallas.

Speaker 1 Same thing. They were shoulder to shoulder.
But look, this had been booked before. That's what it was.
But they were so spread out, man. Dude, honestly, though, it was echoey and like

Speaker 1 the gaps were huge. And you were like, this is.
So it was tough. But on the way back, Bobo texted me and he said,

Speaker 1 I think he said, I'm on the verge. And then I said, what? And he said, call me.
Hold on. So I called him and he said, said, this is Bobby.

Speaker 1 I'm on the verge.

Speaker 1 That's what he said. I said, what? He said, call me.
He said he's having an emotional breakdown because no one wants to hang out with him.

Speaker 1 Such a fucking baby and a liar. Bro, I'm FaceTiming him and he's and he's literally.
No one wants to hang out with him. That's what he says.

Speaker 1 No, I think it's no one wants to enable his bullshit behavior. He's around like other actors and stuff like that who are like, dude, I don't listen to your podcast.

Speaker 1 Jamie. That's what it is.
Here, let's see.

Speaker 1 Let's see if we can get him on FaceTime right now while he's in Hungary. He's only got a little

Speaker 1 mask.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, you should have had. Although, I don't know where it is now.
He's not going to pick up.

Speaker 1 But he called me and said, no one wanted to hang with Jamie Lee Curtis didn't want to hang out with him.

Speaker 1 Understandable, get it.

Speaker 1 But they went out to dinner like twice, and then after that, he's like, I'd have nothing to talk about, and I want to be in the same frame with these people, and I want to be as cool as these people.

Speaker 1 And Kate Blanchette is there, which is like, wow. Can you believe that? Yeah.
I can't. She's like, whatever the case may be,

Speaker 1 he was all complaining because no one would hang out with him because he was like, I'm alone all day long and all night. He's got one new friend down there.

Speaker 1 Has he talked to you about his friends out there?

Speaker 2 He said that he had one friend, but then that friend left.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the guy who left.

Speaker 1 I don't know why he didn't just set up a show down there or something. Yeah, but because he's lazy.
I mean, what has he been doing? Has he told you what he's been doing?

Speaker 2 Just in his room eating.

Speaker 1 Eating and playing. Playing video games.
Yeah. Oh, he brought his Xbox or PlayStation.
He's there for nine weeks. You think he wasn't going to bring something?

Speaker 1 Literally, what would he do? I don't know. I mean, and he didn't like the food.
He complained about literally everything.

Speaker 1 And then he complained that he's probably not going to get any billing and get cut out of the movie. And at some point, I hung up.
Yeah, cut to is going to have the funniest scene in the movie. 100%.

Speaker 1 You know? 100%.

Speaker 1 So he's bitching and moaning and complaining. He's going to be the dictator all over again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he called all angry about it. But yeah, but on my way back, I was saying how I'm happy that everything is lifted.
I went to New York and I was in the cellar. Have you ever done the cellar? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Are you past there? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 When I did this movie with Ray Romano,

Speaker 1 I walked in with him. And Estee was there? Yeah, yeah.
And it was kind of like, oh, you know, and then we got regular sets. Right.
Because he bumped it, you know. Sure.
I went on with him.

Speaker 1 And it's funny. So I tell him, I go.
Well, you were doing what? Oh, the movie with Ray Romano. Oh, right, right, right.
So then

Speaker 1 he goes, let's do some, let's come on Saturday, too. And I say, Ray, why don't we tell her and get like on the lineup? Yeah.
So we're not. And he goes, oh, you know what? You're right.
He's so famous.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because to him, he doesn't even, you know what I mean? So we did that. You know, they didn't put his name on the lineup.
They put you on, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then I did it.

Speaker 1 And I think that after that, I think she was at that finally like, oh, okay, this guy's funny. Yeah.
You know what I mean? I had no plans to. I had never done the seller.

Speaker 1 It kind of was one of those things where it's like, that's New York's comedy store.

Speaker 1 Those guys come here. It's a little weird.
We go there. It's a little weird.
It's, you know, it's like their home. You You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I didn't want to step on toes, even though I knew a bunch of those guys. Right, me too.

Speaker 1 But Destefano came out, and Chris was doing like six sets, you know, one at The Cellar, one at Feppa, Pussycat, one at Village Underground. And then he did that twice over.

Speaker 1 And then he said, do you want to go up? Este would like to watch you. I said, dude, I've never played here and I don't know.
You know what's weird is like, I didn't know if I cared.

Speaker 1 If I was like, do I? I'm not here enough. Yeah, yeah.
I respect the place. And even when you go, you're probably doing like a club.
You're probably doing like Carolines or some little theater.

Speaker 1 Maybe, because I usually don't play New York. It's so hard to play.
It really is. I usually say no.
I usually go, I'll play like Jersey. I'll play, I'll play Philly.
Blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 So, anyway, blah, blah, blah. I said, all right, I get, fine, I'll go.
Why not? Do a spot. And I knew people.
Mateo Lane was there, who I love. He murdered.
He's so funny, man.

Speaker 1 Carmen Lynch, like people that I recognized that I knew, Todd Berry, it was like, all right, I was comfortable. You know, Ricky Veleza, it was people I have known or seen before.

Speaker 1 And I went up and had a great set. And then she was like, anytime you want that up.
up, but it was cool to get past at this age in our career because

Speaker 1 we don't do that anymore. You don't showcase anything.
You just go, like, if you're not in at a club, you just go, well, I'm not in at that club. I don't go there.
And I just won't go there.

Speaker 1 But isn't it funny, dude, to do five minutes? I haven't done five minutes in, I don't know. I really can't.
I genuinely, like, maybe seven, eight, nine years. I don't know.

Speaker 1 When's the last time you did five minutes? Oh, shit. I wouldn't even know how to do it.
It was tough. It was genuinely hard.
You just kind of do it.

Speaker 1 You just kind of go, okay, I guess I got to get off.

Speaker 1 Here's two jokes. Like, that's how I felt.
I was like, here's two jokes. I saw, did you see, was Louis there? He had just been there in the early show.
Yeah, because he's been going a lot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I saw him performing. I was like, all right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, he's back in full swing. That club is back.
They've got all the.

Speaker 1 They took the things down, right? They just took them down. Yeah, what are those? The plexiglass.
Yeah, yeah. But I didn't even feel like it wasn't a lot of people in there when I did it.

Speaker 1 No, because it's packed.

Speaker 1 No, no, but I'm still because it's so small.

Speaker 1 But so I was like, damn, I wonder how it is that they probably just got people like sardines in that place. But it's a nice vibe in there.
It's the same kind of feeling I got.

Speaker 1 It's the same kind of OR feeling. It feels like the R-O-R.
Right. Except it's more intimate, bro.
I've done a couple of sets and they've been fine, but they just, it doesn't feel the same. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It also, not to get negative, but it doesn't feel the same without Jeff Scott at the piano. It's just a weird thing.
It just felt sad. It felt a little weird for me.
I've forgotten when I first went.

Speaker 1 Forgot that he died?

Speaker 1 Yes. Griff.
Not that I was looking for him. Right.
What I'm saying, though, is it was like

Speaker 1 a

Speaker 1 punch in the face reminder. So I looked over there and I was like, oh, fuck, that's right.
And they have his name lit up there. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So that was like, you know, I thought that it was like, it's a nice tribute that they're doing that. Yeah, I think we, I mean, I think, I'm so excited.

Speaker 1 What, the 15th, everything is open up finally, right? You excited? What are you going to do first? Huh? What are you going to do first on the 15th when everything is open? No mask, no restriction.

Speaker 1 She's going to go to the post office. She's still nervous.
Look at her. Stay home.
You're still going to stay home?

Speaker 1 You're vaccinated. You're fine.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I don't want to go anywhere.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. This is the youth.
I know. This is the youth.
This is what happens. What's a regular day for you then?

Speaker 2 Sleeping.

Speaker 1 For real. That's all she does.
What time are you sleeping until every day? Like, was this like an annoyance to come here?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. No.
She hates it here. She's coming here.
She hates her.

Speaker 1 Well, Rudy, you s what else are you doing during the day? Now the school's about to be this is summertime, right?

Speaker 2 No, I still have one more week.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. Okay, one more week.
I'm saying, but that you're done. And then what are you going to do for the

Speaker 2 Maybe go back to Hawaii or in the Philippines.

Speaker 1 See how fancy this is. I know.
It's fancy as hell. Go to back to Hawaii.

Speaker 1 You know how many times I went to Hawaii when I was in high school? Zero. I didn't go to fucking Hawaii.
I didn't get to go to vacation. We went to Florida.
Yeah. To Florida.
To see your grandma.

Speaker 1 Yeah, once. Yeah.
To go sit by the beach and burn. That's a terrible trip.
Right.

Speaker 1 And by car, by the way, we used to have to drive to Florida. I was a little more fancy, actually, because I was the only child.
Yeah, but it was just you and your mom. Yeah, just me and my mom.

Speaker 1 So like when I was seven years old, we went to like a tour. We went to London, Paris, and Rome.
Woo! Yeah. What did your mom do for a living? I don't even remember those days.

Speaker 1 You don't know what she was doing? Yeah, well, she did so many different, like she became like, she went to school to become something different.

Speaker 1 And then like, so in my later years, she was a safety specialist for the city, like for like

Speaker 1 she worked for LA City? Yeah, like one of the colleges downtown. So she was like the safety specialist.
Because it became this, because people were, you know what it was, it was a new profession.

Speaker 1 people were getting sued companies were getting sued so often for workers compensation that they came up with like a profession to help companies stop you know set make sure there was fire extinguishers make sure there was like oh so she became a safety specialist but she was like a transcriber when i was a kid really yeah she did like a thousand different things yeah she never had transcribing was a big thing for her so because like there was no if you think about now like so a doctor would like you know be in this thing that you know at surgery or whatever or talking and then she would like be a medical transcriber.

Speaker 1 So then she would have to like type whatever the doctor said. Wow, you know, but now it's like, they don't, like, that kind of profession is gone.
Like, like, take like a photo mat.

Speaker 1 Right. It's all uploaded.
You know what I mean? Like, you could just like do voice, you voice, you know. Right.
The moment you say it, it's already logged in. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, like, I saw that commercial the other day about the Motorola. I know you guys have probably seen this.

Speaker 1 They're pushing this deaf guy is talking to his son for the first time because you can speak and it dictates what you're saying.

Speaker 1 So you can be on the phone, right, with someone who's deaf, and you can be speaking like you're speaking to them, and it will voice dictate everything that you say. That shit don't work good, though.

Speaker 1 Bro, he was like, this is the first, he's like, dad, do you realize it's the first time we've talked or that we've talked over the phone? And I'm such a dick. I'm just like, he still can't hear him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. You're not talking over the phone.
No, but it's like you're reading over the phone. That voice texting shit, like, it's always going to mess up.
So they're going to have a conversation.

Speaker 1 I use it every day. Yeah, but it doesn't.
You always say something. You know what you? Let me tell you you something.
Let me see if let me say something that you always say in your voice texting.

Speaker 1 You have to say this at least once in the in the in the in the chain.

Speaker 1 Sorry about that. I'm voice texting, right?

Speaker 1 Right. Here, Watts, let's see if I can do this.

Speaker 1 Hey, Griff, I'm voice texting you right now, and I'm pretty sure that every single thing that's coming out of my mouth is going to be correctly

Speaker 1 put on this app.

Speaker 1 You're fucked up. I know, I know.
I didn't know what to say. I'm voice texting right now.
I'm pretty sure that every single thing is. Hey, Griffin, my cock is so big.

Speaker 1 Right now, and I'm pretty sure that every single thing. Yeah, because you said you didn't say anything.
No, it's if you said all this enunciated, like you, that was so simple.

Speaker 1 So, I speak with clarity. Hello, how are you doing? This is Andrew texting you right now.
That's that when you start like talking,

Speaker 1 I'll do it the way that you're doing it. You know what? Just turn it on right now.
No, no, no, no, stop it. Just do it like this right now.
Like, just turn it on. Oh, yo, what's up, Griff?

Speaker 1 You know, I'm out here doing my thing, dog.

Speaker 1 That, that, hey, man, it got in there.

Speaker 1 See? Maybe it's like set to just

Speaker 1 white people register. White people registered, yeah.
Well, it was made by, it was made by Asians who only like whites.

Speaker 1 See, look, I'm going to send you what you just said. It says it was made by an agent who only like white.
That's because that phone is stopped. That's trying to stop Asian hate.
That's what that is.

Speaker 1 Speaking of agents, are you on a job hunt now? Yeah. Sorry.
I haven't had an audition in three years.

Speaker 1 I'm dead, dead serious. Yeah, well, even the one audition I got, I got all my hopes up, and then they didn't even.

Speaker 1 I know, I told you I thought it was going to get picked up, and I'm sorry that it didn't. But you know what, dude? Can I tell you something?

Speaker 1 Can I just give you what network television is like? Listen up, Rudy. This is for you.
This is for you. All right.

Speaker 1 So let's say, Rudy, let's say you have a lot of money and you want to build a house and you hire an architect and the architect draws out everything. about the house and you go, I love this house.

Speaker 1 That's the house I want you to make. And in the making of the house, you start going like this.

Speaker 1 I think I want the kitchen on the other side.

Speaker 1 You know what? Can you change the you use a mahogany? I want you to use a different wood. And then you make all these changes, and then you see your house.

Speaker 1 And then you go like this: I don't like this. Yeah, bitch.
You know why you don't like it? You know why you don't like it, network? Because you fucked it up.

Speaker 1 That's why you don't like it now. Because all your dumbass changes.

Speaker 1 ABC. ABC?

Speaker 1 They fucking fucked it up. And then they want to wonder why they don't like it.
You know why you don't like it?

Speaker 1 Because you got involved.

Speaker 1 You should just write checks and let

Speaker 1 talented

Speaker 1 makers of entertainment. do the thing you paid them for

Speaker 1 it's so it's unbelievable i know that's what they ruin things you can say that i'm not saying that i'm not getting any work you can that's you i'm not getting any work either then that's the last time i'm working for them yeah that's it dizzy's

Speaker 1 then i saw the pilot you know and then like my section like you know they cut it down so much i was like do you even like me

Speaker 1 did you even really want me in this show was the pilot bad i

Speaker 1 it wasn't what i thought i was this i was so disappointed in what they did to the office part of the show that i was like i wouldn't have picked this up either that was my thought who was the star of the show shannon woodward Jane Lynch.

Speaker 1 Jane Lynch is. She was great.

Speaker 1 The stuff, look, the show was touching. Shannon Woodward? Yeah.
I don't know who that is. Am I stupid? Look her up.

Speaker 1 She was on Westwood. If you saw her, she was on

Speaker 1 Raising Amy. A Raising Hope.
Not Raising Amy. Her name's Amy.
Oh, yeah, I like her. Yeah, she's great.
Westworld, yeah. Westworld.
And she was so good at the roles she was playing.

Speaker 1 Like, just, you know. And I feel bad because the creator of the show, this was like her life story, sort of.
You know, it was based off her own story. She's been working on it for five five years.

Speaker 1 You finally get your show made. You get it going.
And then they just go, eh,

Speaker 1 Lucille. Yeah, they do what Andres does in his fucking pants.
That's so sad. That's so sad that those things come and go so much

Speaker 1 and never have given a chance. That's what I'm saying.
Like, it's like, why don't you just let these people make the show they wanted to make?

Speaker 1 And then if you say, after you see it, you go, well, we don't like it. But they're so involved at every step of the way, and they wonder why they don't like it.
Right. That's the point.

Speaker 1 The way I think is everything should be shot three episodes. I think pilots, quote unquote, should be three episodes because you can't really get to know something in the first episode.

Speaker 1 By the second and third, you really get a rhythm. You're spending so much money anyway.
Why not? Just do three. To me, three is the golden number.
What do you think, fans?

Speaker 1 You're in the industry. I'm just, you can see how upset I am.
I know. Well, you should be.

Speaker 3 I think the way they're doing it today with platforms is better. If they like something, they just

Speaker 1 buy the whole system. But that's true.

Speaker 1 But on network still doesn't apply. They don't do it that way.
They still do the pilot system, which is they pick up, you know, they shoot 10 pilots or but they nitpick it every single stage.

Speaker 1 Well, who was the studio and who was the network? ABC Signature Studio and ABC Network. Oh, so that should have been a lot of a lot.
Usually it's really tough if it's like Fox Studios and

Speaker 1 NBC Network and you're like, oh my God, this is, you have two competing brands. Yeah.
That's the weirdest thing. It's like, it's like Nike and Adidas have a contract with an athlete.
I know.

Speaker 1 That's what it's like, which doesn't exist. But people imagine they're both going to go.
They don't think that about TV. People think that.
Right.

Speaker 1 people think that like oh an ab so abc show is on abc you go like no that abc shows on cbs right they don't you don't even know because there's probably like really only three studios in the entire world like they're they're all subsidiaries of something else right that like network television is about selling refrigerators yes it is it doesn't it's not about entertainment

Speaker 1 it's why the price is right literally was about

Speaker 1 buying shit. It was literally like, how much is this thing we're actually promoting? That's what it was.

Speaker 1 Like they make a show, and then the upfronts are all about showing these shows to the advertisers because the advertisers are like, okay, is that show funny enough where people are going to watch it so we can, you know, sell our products?

Speaker 1 Right. That's what it's all about.
Right. So you have to understand like why they don't care about racial

Speaker 1 equality. Thank God.
They don't care about none of this stuff. All they care about is like, how many white homes that got a lot of money can we get these shows into? Correct.

Speaker 1 And this is why you see a lot of white TV. It's not like, it's not not necessary.
We need to stop always assuming that this is about race. It's about money.

Speaker 1 As a person of color, when I'm looking at this shit and I'm like, they don't got no black people on. No, because when they do, it'll be like, it's a black show for black advertisers.

Speaker 1 That's why when you're watching a black show, the McDonald's commercial was always, what up, y'all? They're always like that.

Speaker 1 They've been like that for 15 years. I know, but you don't see that on.

Speaker 1 That ain't on Gray's Anatomy. When you're watching Gray's Anatomy,

Speaker 1 there's no McDonald's on Gray's Gray's Anatomy. That's what I mean.
The Chick-fil-A.

Speaker 1 Like, anytime, and they do that, and what I'm saying is I actually understand the business of it. Well, it's just business.
It's just business.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I'm also like, I think for me, no matter, I think we should be more diverse. I like the diversity that's coming and happening.
Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 But the thing I don't like is if the diverse stories are the same stories all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you're like, make sure that this is a broad range of shit.

Speaker 1 You know what show was kind of wild and totally different was.

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 1 uh have you seen bo burnham's new netflix special everyone keeps talking about it i want to watch it but i don't think i think it's one of these like alternative type you know

Speaker 1 what are you laughing at george you hear george chuckling what are you chuckling about

Speaker 1 i want to check it out yeah it is one of these alternative types of things it's uh not that funny but it's very interesting yeah see that's what i'm hearing so that's so then it's going to be labeled brilliant

Speaker 1 what does that even mean george explain that well i think there's no audience i may destroy you was the show i was trying to think of i couldn't think of her name do you know that show? No.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you like it, don't you? See? This is my point is like... Watchmen was good.
I like

Speaker 1 when it's non-white bullshit anymore. I like when non-white creators are making super unique shit because I think even when they do submit stuff for the most part, it gets channeled into this like...

Speaker 1 I know, but can you make an Atlanta? You know what I mean? Like they're that's the, that's my biggest beef. Yeah, yeah.
Is they're pushing out the same shit. So yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So at least that show's good, isn't it? I May Destroy You is wild. It comes across it.
You'd like it. It comes across as if.
It's fucking funky.

Speaker 1 Not to say that this is true, but it comes across as if the white production side, they get to like live their dreams. And like, let's make whatever we want to make, and then we'll see if it works.

Speaker 1 Right. And on the other side, it has to be like something they know.
Well, it has to be something they're familiar with culturally, because otherwise they're not.

Speaker 1 Or some white guy has to take a chance on someone like...

Speaker 1 Atlanta. Issa Ray.
Yeah, yeah, they take a chance. They go, let's do this.

Speaker 1 And then you see this, you know, what I love about Insecure is like, you feel like you're a fly on the wall to these black women's lives. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, and it's just like you just go, oh, and then they're portraying them as like powerful, successful, but also sexual creatures that like

Speaker 1 human beings. You know, because

Speaker 1 I come from an era of the 80s and stuff where like if you saw a black woman in a movie or TV, she got to be sassy as hell. She got to be like, you know,

Speaker 1 ghetto. Yeah.
Whatever it is. Don't make me.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Not that they're never portrayed as people that like like having sex or like doing things. Or just being like a normal

Speaker 1 person. Yeah,

Speaker 1 they always inflate these caricatures yeah and so then when you watch insecure you're just like oh shit this is like you know yeah they're modern day women that's what i may destroy you is kind of like that's why you'd like that show no but uh uh but what were you saying you were saying before that there was a show you were just saying what did you just say before that what do you say cool hacks oh he's had a oh no we're talking about bo burnham's thing oh yeah boom so so tell me about bo speck i haven't seen it but i but it's one of those things that like the you know the the what's that one like real woke artsy like the the verge or whatever Sure, one of those publications.

Speaker 1 One of those publications where it has to be like, oh, this is the most genius thing I've ever heard. You know, is that what they said? Yeah, that's that kind of thing you're getting.

Speaker 1 That's the kind of publicity it's getting. So I want to check it out.
Look, I'm sure he's an artsy fartsy kid. He's always been like that.
Yeah, it's how he became famous. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I think he's crazy talented. I don't know.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's a song, that song he put out, Art is Dead, is one of the best songs I've ever heard.
Do you ever hear that song? No.

Speaker 1 Art is Dead is so good.

Speaker 1 Just pull up the lyrics.

Speaker 1 Art is dead. I met him when I was was doing my new faces in Montreal when he was like 16.
Yeah, he was like 16, 17, saying like crazy shit on stage, but he's always been like.

Speaker 1 Look at how powerful this is, though.

Speaker 1 This next song is honestly about nothing at all, but it helps me sleep at night. Art is dead, art is dead, art is dead.

Speaker 1 Entertainers like to entertainers like to seem complicated, but we're not complicated. I can explain it pretty easily.

Speaker 1 Have you ever been to a birthday party for children and one of the children won't stop screaming because he's a little attention attractor?

Speaker 1 When he grows up to be a comic or actor, he'll be rewarded for never maturing, for never understanding or learning that every day can't be about him. There's other people, you selfish asshole.

Speaker 1 Is this about Bobby?

Speaker 1 But truly,

Speaker 1 all of this money you worked very hard for. I slept in late while you worked at the drugstore.
My drug's attention. I'm an addict.
But I get rewarded. I get paid to indulge in my habit.

Speaker 1 It's all an illusion. I'm wearing makeup.
I'm wearing makeup, makeup. It's great, man.
It's great. I'm doing it.
No justice, by the way. But what my point is, like...
He's directed a couple specials.

Speaker 1 It's a deep, wonderful song about what it's like to be a comic. I think he has good internal struggle.
I think that this special is portraying those things. That's great.

Speaker 1 My only problem with these alternative specials. They're not traditional.
Let's not call them that.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, let's call it, let's make a new thing. Well, it's called

Speaker 1 a comedy special.

Speaker 1 Because even back in the day when you saw,

Speaker 1 they would call them one-man shows, one-woman shows. Right.
You know, and you knew you weren't watching a comedy special. That's true.
You were watching a different piece of art. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So what I don't appreciate is that now they're doing these things and then shitting on the people that go the art form of going on stage and

Speaker 1 just doing stand-up as if like, oh, well, this isn't enough. Right.
It's like, what are you talking about? Two totally separate things. They're two totally separate things.
Right. I know.

Speaker 1 But I don't like that. But the problem is now with like

Speaker 1 the youth, like her age range,

Speaker 1 they weren't used to that. So like all they're used to now is categorically, a TikTok guy is a comedian.
Do you know what I'm saying? Like it's because the lines are blurred.

Speaker 1 I hear what you're saying. Yeah.
But I disagree as that being the reason. What is it? No, they are used to it.
They just don't like it because it sucks.

Speaker 1 I mean, straight up. Yeah.
Like, listen to me. You go on Netflix and you look how many comedy specials they have on there.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They suck.

Speaker 1 A good amount of them. A good amount of them.

Speaker 1 The ones that are good, they stand out. You know, it's hard to make a, it's a hard thing to achieve.
Yeah. And ain't even about the person not being funny or whatever.

Speaker 1 It's just about, it's hard to capture what happens in a live show. It's impossible.
So, and then they were just handing out specials like candy. It didn't even matter.

Speaker 1 Are you the most famous person in Guatemala? Well, you're getting a special. Are you the most famous person in fucking whatever? Pick a country in Europe where we're going to give you a special.

Speaker 1 And they just were like inundating

Speaker 1 these young people with like all this stuff. Right.
Every network, Showtime, HBO, Netflix, Amazon.

Speaker 1 And they just were like, and so now, you know, if I was young now, you'd be like, why do they call it special mm-hmm because it's not anymore

Speaker 1 so I don't think it is anything to do with like they're not used to it they're just like oh that's that thing that they do that no one likes or watches the problem is comedy is so hard to capture yes it is so so inherently specials are tough like they really just have to be a moment in time that's why like Eddie's shit was great because it was a moment in time yeah right he's also a phenomenal performer no but

Speaker 1 it was a moment in time shit was happening it was a it was like an amalgamation of like his he is just becoming mega famous. He's a great writer.
He's a great performer.

Speaker 1 He's just becoming globally famous. Like, that was just timing, it was a perfect.
Same with Chappelle. Timing was perfect for Dave.
Yeah, but I don't even know if it has to be.

Speaker 1 That's how a great special is born. He's like, the timing is perfect.
But with him, though, I mean, what's the timing of six specials? I just think that.

Speaker 1 No, I'm saying when they first crack, the first specials that you see,

Speaker 1 the reason that they crack is because, you know, like Sebastian didn't pop until his fourth special or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that's because the timing wasn't right for the early ones.

Speaker 1 He wasn't that he wasn't funny, he was funny. But we're all funny.
Everyone that's good enough is professional, you're funny. You'll go rip a room anywhere.

Speaker 1 The special, the idea of a special, it's why Bobby won't make one, which I agree with, because it's so hard to capture what you really want to put down forever.

Speaker 1 And you have kind of material, you know.

Speaker 1 I love giving you layups.

Speaker 1 That was like, boom-boom!

Speaker 1 He broke the glass. No, but it is.
Have you ever watched comedy specials?

Speaker 2 I've seen Joe Coi's.

Speaker 1 Joe Coi, right. That, of course.
Yeah. Who else would she say? And by the way, and that's why Netflix does that.
Right.

Speaker 1 Right. He looks like you.

Speaker 1 Do you like this guy that looks like you?

Speaker 1 How did you like Joe Coi's special?

Speaker 2 It was funny. I liked it.

Speaker 1 Yeah? Have you ever seen anybody else's?

Speaker 2 John Mulaney's.

Speaker 1 Right, you like John Mulaney. We talked about that.
And you know, he's not single anymore. Well, he he looks like an older version of the guy she likes.

Speaker 1 So she's seeing, like, ooh, my guy's going to end up looking like this. John Melanie is like a tall, skinny puppet.
Yeah. What do you mean? That guy looks like a young

Speaker 1 sex machine. They all star.
John Mulaney did not look like that at any time. They start like that, and then they turn into a fucking monster.

Speaker 1 Ventriloquist? Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, but no, he does not look like those young guys.

Speaker 1 No. No, but so you've seen Mulaney's and you've seen Joe Cois.
That's it, huh?

Speaker 2 Trevor Noah.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. What did you think about that?

Speaker 2 I liked liked it.

Speaker 1 You did, huh? Okay.

Speaker 1 How do you really feel, Andrew? I didn't say anything. I just said you did.
Andrew's about to call George. I take that out.
Take that part out. No.

Speaker 1 No, I've never, I've only seen one thing he's ever done. What I'm saying is there's so many.
Yeah, there's too many. There's too many.
Yeah, there is too many. And you know what?

Speaker 1 It's all going to stop now. Oh, wait, because listen.
It's over now. Netflix cornered the market.

Speaker 1 They overpaid for comedy, so people will walk down the street and go, hey, do you have a special on Netflix? Mm-hmm. That's why they did that.
So they own it now. It used to be HBO.

Speaker 1 Remember how HBO used to be the thing? They were the huge. We were coming up.
We were like, I want to get an HBO special. That was the dream of every comic.
Now it's like, I don't even know.

Speaker 1 I don't even know what the dream is anymore as a comic. I think the dream is just to continue.
You know, Jay Leno. The dream is to go viral.
That's the dream.

Speaker 1 The dream is just to create a big fan base and have them go see you live. That's what I'm saying.
That's what the same thing.

Speaker 1 But I'm saying it's not about, that's good now because now you can try to continue to make your own. Oh, well, because no, no, because now it's like, you know, we need it.
Okay, before.

Speaker 1 I want people to see me live. That's all I really want.
Come see me live and have fun with me. But I'm saying before,

Speaker 1 there was only certain outlets in entertainment. So you had to go that route.
Right. So that's why it seemed as if, well, you got to work this hard to get like a sitcom, to get a special.
Right.

Speaker 1 But now, look, you could be a funny Christian comic who got a million followers and you making $500,000 a year. More.
And those kids are selling out arena. I mean, I'm saying it's crazy.

Speaker 1 So there's a niche market for, there's that, even that guy, what's his name? Darren Chris or whatever his name is, Country Mama or

Speaker 1 Mama Country or whatever the hell his name is. The guy that got clowned at

Speaker 1 Just for Laughs. Southern Mama, is that it? Southern Mama.
That's him. Darren Knight.
Darren Knight. I knew it.
We'll go to the images, obviously. I don't want to see a video.
I knew he was Darren.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he did. This guy.
He did Just for Laughs with us. This guy's huge.
Well, right. What did we do? He came to Just for Laughs.
Look up his net worth. He's huge.

Speaker 1 He was on the comics to watch, right? Variety. And you and I were together.
Well, this is one of the many years that we were there, but like

Speaker 1 I remember he did his gala, right? And he bombed and he went home because it didn't go well, right? Like he freaked out. No, this was like he was on stage criticizing the other comics.
Oh, he was?

Speaker 1 Oh, I just heard he bombed. And then they confronted him in the hallway.
Like Chris Red was like, like, going in on him in the hallway. Because he was talking shit.

Speaker 1 He just, what he was saying, you know, the stuff, the stuff he was saying, like, you know, like

Speaker 1 2 million is wrong.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's what these things.

Speaker 1 By the way, zoom in on that website real fast. Punch in on that website.
Just oh, no, no, no, just pinch and pull. Pinch.
Pinch your fingers.

Speaker 1 Oh, Jesus, George. Go back.
You know how you can just pull your fingers on that? There you go. Look at look at the website that we try to verify.

Speaker 1 Glubby Gang Official. Yeah, that's who we're going to take.

Speaker 1 But anyway, the guy makes so much money. I know it because he's like on

Speaker 1 Facebook, too. So what I'm saying, though, is like, and it's no knock on him.
What I'm saying is like he has his

Speaker 1 Following. Yeah, no, yeah, that's what you need to create that's

Speaker 1 so like so now it's now we're in a situation where you don't need like I've sometimes I'm on Instagram and I'm like I had actually I had lunch with this kid the other day his his name is Simmy oh man I forget how to say his name but anyway he's like

Speaker 1 he's rolling with these like Nelk network Nelk boys yeah I know who they are yeah he rolls with them yeah dude these these people they sold like 60 million dollars in merch last year I know yeah they They got like, you know, and this kid's like, he's got 2 million followers.

Speaker 1 He's so huge on the internet. You know, he wants to be a comics.
That's what I met with him. And I was like, we got to go to Open Mike's, man.
You know what I mean? Like, go to like, you know.

Speaker 1 Or just tour. Who cares? But that's what I said to him, too.
I said, if you want to. Let him go do his own thing.
You want to set it up?

Speaker 1 But I was like,

Speaker 1 it just was,

Speaker 1 it just was, it's amazing. Like, it's amazing how we're now in a day and age where you could have your own fan base that no one has to know anything about.
Right. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can live in your own little home. You live your own little, you have your own lane,

Speaker 1 it's really amazing. Well, it's nice.
It's an amazing time. So, are you touring, by the way?

Speaker 1 I told him to like, let's start getting some stuff done. You got to get out.
Because I just went to West Palm Beach. I'm going to be, I'm in Austin this week, but I'm going to this.

Speaker 1 What are you doing to Austin? The movie that Bobby and I did together is called Hero Mode. It's coming out.
So it's like, and I'm going to the premiere and do like in Austin? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I saw a review of the movie and it was not good. Is that it right there? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I saw this review of the movie and they said like, oh, there was this cringy line in the movie. And I was like, oh, I think that's my line.

Speaker 1 What was the line? I forgot what it was, but I was like, I'm pretty sure that was my line. So it's like, I don't know, we'll see.
Zero mode. What do you do in the movie? I'm a teacher.

Speaker 1 What does he do? Bobby's the principal of the school. Oh, so annoying.
Can you even imagine? What a terrible film. It's going to be bad if you both are in it together.
All right, what is it?

Speaker 3 So we're doing a game in which both of you are playing the other person.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 So you have to be like Eric and Eric has to be like you.

Speaker 1 No. Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Here we go, everybody. Here we go.
All right, let's do it. Okay, let's go.

Speaker 3 What do you think is your best and worst quality?

Speaker 1 My best quality is my loyalty,

Speaker 1 and my worst quality is

Speaker 1 probably my stand-up.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're going to go that way. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, bro. I said loyalty up front.
I like how you like, you turned it. You know, he was like, let me start sweet.
It's a fucking comedy show. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, go ahead.

Speaker 3 What kind of fiends will you be doing 10 years from now?

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Are you me? Yeah, I'm you now. Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, and what will you be doing in 10 years, Antino? Fighting off skin cancer

Speaker 1 because the sun

Speaker 1 really affects my yeah, we get it, bro.

Speaker 1 Let me let me do. Can I answer that one for Griff?

Speaker 1 Here, I'll be Eric. Ask me again.
I'm Eric. Go ahead.
The Asian baby we're going to adopt

Speaker 1 will be like eight years old by then. She's 19.

Speaker 1 All right, what is it? Say that question. So, Eric,

Speaker 3 what kind of things will you be doing in 10 years? Oh, this.

Speaker 1 You old ass bitch.

Speaker 1 All right, go ahead. Terrible.
Rudy gets to answer. I'm going to be Rudy, and then Rudy gets to be Eric.
That'll be Rudy. She should be Bobby since he's not here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it's got to be traded off of someone in this room.

Speaker 1 So I'll be Rudy, and then Rudy will be Eric. Yeah, so ask me.
I'm Rudy. Okay.
Hey, Rudy.

Speaker 1 Yes. What is your perfect weekend?

Speaker 1 Slip.

Speaker 1 Ballot.

Speaker 1 More slip with the dogs. Slip, slip, slip.
Okay, go ahead, Rudy. Now you're Eric.

Speaker 1 She's got to be you. That's unfair.
The guy who let himself off the hook. No, you're Eric.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Rudy, you're Eric.

Speaker 1 I'll be him on this question. Okay.

Speaker 3 What is the strangest dream you have ever had?

Speaker 1 Uh-oh.

Speaker 2 The strangest dream.

Speaker 1 Hey.

Speaker 1 Hey, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 The bottoms eternal island.

Speaker 1 Don't let him influence you. That's That's what he likes.
He wants to see it.

Speaker 2 It's Bobby. I'm with Bobby and Santino in an island,

Speaker 2 naked, and we're just

Speaker 2 doing things with each other.

Speaker 1 That is your little dream, isn't it? What sort of things? What sort of things are we doing?

Speaker 1 See, he's into it. What sort of things?

Speaker 1 All right. Are we eating? Are we at the buffet line? You know what?

Speaker 1 This was great.

Speaker 1 You did great. Rudy, I'm glad you're back.
Eric, I'm glad you're black.

Speaker 1 Ish.

Speaker 1 Fine.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Thank you, Eric.
I want you to end the show. Look in the, you know, you're a single and say, thank you for being a bad friend.
You'll take us out. All right.

Speaker 1 Hey, thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 4 Let's create a horror movie right now. Okay.
What are you afraid of?

Speaker 1 What am I the most afraid of?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think we should play on our fears, right? Yeah. First of all, you and I are both, if we were going to write a horror movie,

Speaker 4 figure out what our fears are, right? And then we'll just try to wrap a movie. Okay, middle of nowhere stuff creeps me the fuck out.
Like, if like, I'm always down for middle of nowhere films.

Speaker 4 I'm always like, ooh, it's so sketchy. Okay, middle of nowhere.

Speaker 4 Like in the woods. But in the mountains and the woods.
In the mountains and woods. Even more dangerous, right? Where you can lose power.
It can be cold. Yeah.
Right? Mine has to do with the ocean.

Speaker 4 Okay, so on a mountain over the ocean. We got there.
But just being in the middle of the ocean.

Speaker 4 Oh, okay. We're going to put it on a boat then.
No, we'll do both. No, no, but listen, middle of nowhere is the middle of the ocean to me.
Okay. It's one and the same.

Speaker 1 Right. So

Speaker 4 how about one where it's on an island? Is that islands wonderful? What a great place to be haunted.

Speaker 4 Okay, a a haunted island a haunted island perfect perfect perfect here's another thing that i'm afraid of being buried alive uh everyone everyone that's everyone's fear that's everyone's fear what is an uh kids

Speaker 1 i got it you and i wake up you and i okay it you okay starts on you right

Speaker 4 sand is in your mouth you turn climb out yeah yeah you were buried alive right

Speaker 4 Or so what you're saying is that I'm a guy, right? You, yes, or I work at how about this? Let me just create my character. I'm a guy, right? Yeah.
And I work at like a liquor store in New York.

Speaker 4 Correct. Okay.
In Harlem. So yeah,

Speaker 4 I'm logging out. I'm closing the store.
It's not a 24-hour place, right? Right. So I'm locking everything up, right? And it just shows me like just walking with my backpack to my little squalor house.

Speaker 4 I have a really, I live in the basement somewhere in Chinatown.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 4 You live in Chinatown.

Speaker 4 Okay, anyway, I'm Chinatown. It just feels right.
I'm Chinese. For this movie, you're Chinese.

Speaker 4 I'll be Chinese for this. I'll be black in the movie.
We're right. We'll rewatch.
Right. We'll rewrite it.
We're right there, yeah. You live in the basement of a Chinese house.
Chinese, right?

Speaker 4 And it just shows me like a little montage of me like cooking some ramen, right? Putting some ramen in it, right? Rat runs by. Rat runs by, right.
I'm by a really rickety table. Yeah.
Right.

Speaker 4 Sitting there. I'm slurping on the ramen.
I'm watching something on TV, the news or something, right? Rabbity or TV. Right.
There's a cut scene where I'm just kind of reading a book on a mat.

Speaker 4 That's where I sleep. On the floor? Yeah.
I'm all sad. This guy is so so sad.
So sad, right? And then I plug in my iPhone whenever I have a phone, right? Samsung.

Speaker 4 Samsung. Okay.

Speaker 4 Gotta be Samsung? All right, Samsung. I plug in my Samsung.
Chinatown iPhone. Right, right, right, right, right.

Speaker 4 Does it matter what kind of TV I'm looking at?

Speaker 4 Toshiba.

Speaker 4 Toshiba? Toshiva. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 A tube TV, no less. Like an old tube, not a plastic.

Speaker 4 So I assume just by your thinking, I'm wearing a kimono. 100%.

Speaker 4 What else would you be wearing at your house?

Speaker 4 Out in public

Speaker 4 clothes.

Speaker 4 Kimono, I have a sword. A sword?

Speaker 4 And your hair is in a bun.

Speaker 4 Must be. And what's in it?

Speaker 4 What's holding your hair up? A chopsticks. Chopsticks.
That's correct.

Speaker 4 Oh, you racist fucking. All right.
Come on, come on. Let's get back to where we want to be.
All right, so I'm

Speaker 4 reason.

Speaker 4 For some reason, for some reason, I'm wearing regular clothes. You're wearing regular clothes at the liquor store.
But when I get home, there's got to be a Montana where I put the computer. Come on.

Speaker 4 I put the chopsticks in my hair. People will love it.
People will love it. I have a Samsung Toshiba.

Speaker 4 Samsung phone or Toshiba TV. TV.
TV, right? Right.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. Okay.
So you're slipping your

Speaker 1 lay on your mat.

Speaker 4 I lay on my

Speaker 4 bamboo mat. Your bamboo mat.

Speaker 1 Bamboo mat, right?

Speaker 4 Yeah. Right.
And then I wake up

Speaker 4 on an island. You wake up.
You wake up crawling out of sand. Crawling out of sand.
Yes. Naked.
Butt naked. Butt naked.
Yeah. Right.

Speaker 4 How about how about I still have the chopsticks in my hair? Oh, yeah, got it. Yeah.
Yeah. Because we need to have you have materials

Speaker 4 to use. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 For some reason, I still have the bun with the chopstick in my right. I come out, right? Yes.
Oh, completely naked, right? And it's the brutal day of this. It's the sun.
It's bright, bright.

Speaker 4 And all of a sudden, you, your character, digs out, right? And you're wearing like a green suit.

Speaker 4 Like a leprechaun cutter cut.

Speaker 4 And where my penis is is a little pot of gold. A little tiny pot of gold with going

Speaker 4 over. So you're wearing a leprechaun ostracize.

Speaker 4 All right, how about this? Look, okay.

Speaker 4 Okay,

Speaker 4 all of the bullshit aside, we both wake up on the island. Okay, before we go.
We're both butt-naked. We wake up on the island.
We wake up on the island.

Speaker 4 And you and I are ready to fight because we don't know how this happened. Did you do this to me?

Speaker 4 No, of course that's not going to. We're both coming out of holes.
I'm not going to go.

Speaker 4 Did you put me in this hole, bury me, and then put a hole? You put yourself in a hole and bury yourself? Yes, yes, yes. No, that's the logic.
That's not the logic. So we jump out of the hole.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we jump out of the hole. We're freaked out.
We're panicking. Of course we are.
We have no idea what's going on.

Speaker 4 Oh, you always say something like, who are you? Who are you? You're right. That's the dialogue.
Who are you? Who are you? You're right.

Speaker 4 And we kind of calm down. We try to calm down.
I go, all right, so my name is Yoshi.

Speaker 1 Am I Yoshi?

Speaker 4 Yoshi. Yoshi, right?

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 4 um lucky lucky

Speaker 4 i'm not yoshi i'm lucky yeah yeah do we have to have accents for this we should

Speaker 4 i'm a yoshi

Speaker 4 i'm lucky i'm yoshi i'm lucky yoshi what are we doing here okay so In this island, it's not a big island. Very small.
It's maybe what, a half a mile around? Not even. Quarter mile around.

Speaker 4 Quarter mile around.

Speaker 4 But there is, in the middle of the island, it is dense, dense. There's trees at one thick.
Very thick. But there is a path.
Right. Right.

Speaker 4 You and I,

Speaker 4 you go, it's so hot out here. We have to get.
I mean, we have to get covered. Yeah,

Speaker 4 yeah, you're almost in flames. I'm done.
Right. And I go, um,

Speaker 4 all right, so let's. I found a trail.
We go in the trail. In the middle of this island is a statue

Speaker 4 of her.

Speaker 4 Her eyes are black. black, right? And there's red blood tears right there, right? Blood tears, right? And obviously, she has knives, too.
There's like a little message underneath.

Speaker 1 What does it say?

Speaker 1 I can't read it.