Rudy's Replacement

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 1 everybody. Great news.
Great news. We've got new merch.
New merch. New shirts, baby.

Speaker 1 The new shirts, they were compiled by Rudy Jules saying that we're in a band together because we're in this is the best Bad Friends band of all time. So they're right there.

Speaker 1 They're right point in the middle of us, I think. There they are.
There they are. Go to badfriendsmerch.com to get them.
Badfriendsmerch.com.

Speaker 1 Also, I'm on tour. Come see me, Andersantino.com for tickets.

Speaker 1 I'm going to be in Addison and and houston and madison and boston uh just go to andrsantino.com for tickets and check that out you two are bad friends who are these two idiots

Speaker 4 white dude and an asian dude

Speaker 4 you two are disgusting

Speaker 1 you two or something we're bad friends if you go to school up north you're not gonna be here yeah so then what no she's not you know i'm well i live with her right so every day i'm wearing her down oh you see davis so far it's rape for It's a lot of rape going on.

Speaker 1 Did you hear about all the crime that they've just had? They had that woman. Andres, didn't that woman get stabbed in the eye coming out of like a...
Both eyes. Both eyes.

Speaker 1 I mean, like, just out of a... With a penis.
Yeah, with a penis.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. It's unbelievable what's going on up there, Rudy.
She's like, gows her eyes. Stabbing at UC Davis.

Speaker 1 There it is.

Speaker 1 Charges issued campus stabbing. UC Davis.

Speaker 1 You think that lady in New York, you know, that old age, that Filipino lady that got attacked, right? In UC Davis,

Speaker 1 they like skinning the young.

Speaker 1 oh yeah you're done you are done

Speaker 1 there's a whole um a Filipino girl skin trading um underground uh yeah black market there yeah on Bitcoin people are using Bitcoin to buy Filipino skin skin yeah it's just Anti Kalila's training

Speaker 1 fuck Auntie Kalila

Speaker 1 I'm here I'm your uncle all right now listen to me all right you're not going nowhere by the way yeah what is she training you to fight fight back wow oh what skills we don't know really no he's um She's going to sign me up for.

Speaker 1 You have the body of Jiminy Cricket. What are you going to do? What are you going to do?

Speaker 1 They are the muscles.

Speaker 1 One of these little green cartoon arms. Flex your arms.
No. Pull your shirt so we can see.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 It's skin, bone, and that's it. Yeah.
No blood. And the skin kind of like hangs on the bone.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 There is no. That's you right there.
There's Jimmy City. Yeah, Jimity Cricket.
There's you for sure. There you are.

Speaker 1 Hi, I'm Marudi. Jiminy Cricket.
Can we get her an umbrella? Can we get her a purple umbrella? please?

Speaker 1 I'm a Rudy.

Speaker 1 Do you know who that is, by the way?

Speaker 6 From Pinocchio.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Dude.

Speaker 1 She's not, bro. I don't know if they have TV over there.
She's not mentally, you know. Don't they just watch like cock fights? What do you guys do when you go on at night? No, they watch this live.

Speaker 1 They watch it on TV. There's no TV.
That's right. That's right.
That's live. Yeah.
Yeah, from Pachoccho. Yeah, but look, Pinocchio is down there, so you saw that at the bottom, didn't you? No.

Speaker 1 Sure. Which one of the dwarves, did you watch all the disney movies

Speaker 1 i i don't know which one of the dwarves would she be of the of the dwarves if we were the dwarves if this was one 100 sleepy sleepy for sure what would you be bro bro bro oh my god bro bro last night

Speaker 1 so i'm using a printer yeah she's sleeping downstairs because we're remodeling upstairs no no no we got dogs again more dogs so we have we had one dog yesterday this morning that dog mr bank he's gone he died no no he didn't die well i don't know what happened but

Speaker 1 But the sandwich today was drinking.

Speaker 1 We put him out on Ventura and we found out what happened. Then I take a nap.
I wake up, right? And then, guess what's there? Three puppies. Well, I'm taking a nap that happened.

Speaker 1 Where do you guys get these dogs, dude?

Speaker 5 I have no idea. Anti Kalado gets a lot of...

Speaker 1 She's like, if you see Anti Kalala one more time. Yeah, he's sick of that.
Yeah, yeah. This is not TB.

Speaker 1 Dude, you guys see dogs? It's like the bag lady. You know the old crazy bag lady who has like tons of.
He's like, Calada's turning into a dog bag lady.

Speaker 5 We want to help.

Speaker 1 I know. So, anyway, last night, right, it's like, I don't know, two in the morning, right? Yeah.
She just went to bed. At 2 a.m., you just go to bed.
She's sleeping downstairs because we have a Mr.

Speaker 1 Big, and I, I, there's no more ink in the printer. And I, I, I go, I don't want to.
I'm not going to be able to look. She goes, wake her up.
See where the ink is.

Speaker 1 So I go downstairs. She's on a couch.

Speaker 1 Jules, Jules, Jules, Jules, Jules, Jules. I mean, I'm not kidding you.
Three minutes. Jules.

Speaker 1 Five minutes.

Speaker 1 She does not wake up. What is your problem?

Speaker 1 She says

Speaker 1 you have a sleeping problem. No, it is.

Speaker 5 That's why I can't wake up to my alarm.

Speaker 1 Yeah, remember, like

Speaker 1 multi-alarms. I know.

Speaker 1 You really do need to go consult someone about that. No, we do.
What if something really real happens and they need you to wake up for it?

Speaker 1 What if an earthquake happens and all the walls are falling down? You're just going to be...

Speaker 1 You guys aren't going to be awake. In every disaster movie, she's the one that dies.
Yeah, for sure. Like Day After Tomorrow, right? Mm-hmm.
Right? When New York's flooded, right?

Speaker 1 She's just with the cabs, you know, floating cabs, and she's just floating next to a cab. Asleep going down 47th.
Yeah, yeah. Twister, right? Right.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Sleeping in a tornado. Sleeping in a tornado.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What else does that? A volcano? Yeah.
Right?

Speaker 1 The lava slowly engulfing everyone in ash.

Speaker 1 Right. And you would think that once the lava hit her toes, she would wake up.
No. She's halfway in lava, and she also open her eyes.
And then finally, when it gets to her, she's like, Yeah.

Speaker 1 Tito, Bob.

Speaker 1 Yeah. The meteor is already in D-Ping Medback.
The meteor is already on her. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God. In the mushroom cloud, sleeping.
Well, we got to get you some help.

Speaker 1 And by the way, you might get replaced on the show if you can't commit.

Speaker 1 What's the nearest school that said yes?

Speaker 1 Phil. Wait.

Speaker 1 Philadelphia. Philadelphia.
University of Philadelphia.

Speaker 1 What the fuck?

Speaker 1 I forgot. Well, looks like you're not going there.

Speaker 1 I know what it is. I know what it is.
What? University of Riverside. You see Riverside.
Fullerton. Oh, Fullerton.
Oh, Fullerton. That's not far either.
That's down south. That's Orange County, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. You don't know.
Why am I asking you? Yeah, yeah. Is that close? Fullerton is in Orange County.
I'm almost positive. Pull it up on the thing.

Speaker 6 Hour and a half drive.

Speaker 1 Easy. Yeah.
But how is she going to... She can drive? We'll send her a car or something.
We'll get her. We have to figure it out.
Or

Speaker 1 we can make Dres do it. Look at Andres already loaded.

Speaker 1 Pete? Actually, you know what?

Speaker 1 Fancy B brings up a good point. Pete is the new rookie in town.
We should make Pete go get her.

Speaker 1 Right. I mean,

Speaker 1 what is Pete?

Speaker 1 Honestly, not a clue.

Speaker 1 Pete just kind of like showed up one day. This is Pete.
Hey, I'm Pete. Yeah, but he's so big, too.
He's just like, look,

Speaker 1 Pete.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? That kind of. He's on the computer right now.

Speaker 1 Do they like me? Pete, we like you very much. Pete does something for you guys again.
He has something again for us? Oh, Pete, what have we got?

Speaker 1 You know what this relationship is like? Of mice and men.

Speaker 1 Lenny, Lenny, Lenny, Lenny.

Speaker 1 I got you something. Lenny, let me see.
What is this? Thank you very much, Pete. Thank you so much, Pete.
What is this? It's not even fucking melted this. Hey, hey, hey, be nice.
Be nice, Pete.

Speaker 1 What is this, Pete?

Speaker 1 It's pie with an apple pie. Oh, it's the cheese pie we talked about.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Well, let's try it.
How long has this been sitting out? I don't know. If it's been sitting out, it's hard as a rock.
It's hard as a rock.

Speaker 1 I want to taste it. Because I've never done cheese on pie.
I can't do it. Come on.
Come on, Bob. You ate my pubes.
Oh, that's right. Right.
I think this is not that big of a deal.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Shout out to my boy Jake Lacey, who told me about this, who's from the Northeast and said, cheese on pie is legit. Cheddar cheese on apple pie.
I get it. You do already, right? I get it.
I get it.

Speaker 1 I don't want another one, but I get it.

Speaker 1 I do get it. I get it.
Yeah, you can get it. Oh, if it was hot.
Oh, if it was was piping hot and melted on there, I would 100% get it. Are you liking it, Jules?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's good, huh? Yeah. Pete, thank you, Pete.
That's interesting. So, what kind of cheese is the best cheese? Well, that's cheddar, right? Sharp cheddar.
I don't know what cheddar is.

Speaker 1 No, no, that's what they say you use. You have to use sharp cheddar.
Right? Yep, cheddar cheese. You can't, they say if you use other cheese, it just doesn't do, it doesn't do the thing.

Speaker 1 It doesn't taste like Swiss wouldn't taste good on here. Right.
Yeah, you should try it, though. We should do it.
Oh, yeah, yeah. We'll get Swiss next week.
Can you you kick this away, Lenny?

Speaker 1 Winner, who the money? Wait, here we go.

Speaker 1 I love you, Pete. Thank you so much.
Pete, what are you, by the way? You're full white, right? You're nothing else. I can't see behind the mask.
Sicilian, actually. Okay, Sicilian.
So he's a.

Speaker 1 What region? The mango?

Speaker 1 The mango region. She wants to finish hers.
Leave her. Yeah, she's going to eat it.

Speaker 1 So mean. He's so mean, but look at him.
Pete. Because Because when I walked in here, he's always

Speaker 1 with his big fingers on the keyboard.

Speaker 1 Yeah, do you have an extra big keyboard for your hands?

Speaker 1 He's got just gigantic hands.

Speaker 1 Stretches.

Speaker 1 What did he say, Andres? We can't hear him. He said yes.
Oh, okay. Okay.
That's it. Right.
Yeah, right on. Well, thank you, Pete.
Thank you for the pie. Pete.
Pete.

Speaker 1 I'm so mean. Rude, so listen, we're going to huff you up here from Fullerton, but I'm hoping it's in Long Beach because that's not that far.
Long Beach is just as easy. It's like 28 minutes away.

Speaker 1 But if you decide to go up north to school, you're going to get replaced. And we've already fished out.
Andres spent some time fishing out Rudy replacements.

Speaker 1 Are you ready to see who might replace you? Yeah. All right.
Let's check it out. Let's see what they've got for the Rudy replacement.
By the way, we don't want this. We should make this clear.

Speaker 1 This is what I do not want. Because it's like, you know, it's lightning in the bottle.

Speaker 1 It's one in a million. 100%.

Speaker 1 Because the reason why Jules was on this in the first place is because she didn't want to come. No.

Speaker 1 No, Kalila was like, my girlfriend was just like, she's just going to get out of the house and do something, you know, and just like, and it's going to get her out of her shell. She's shy.

Speaker 1 She's a super shy girl, right? Not anymore. You're not.
So she reluctantly came here. Yeah.
Right. And she would dread every week for a while.
Yeah. The first

Speaker 1 15 episodes, just dreading it. You hated it, huh? Really? Yeah.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I didn't want to talk.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
How do you feel now about talking?

Speaker 6 It's more okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's more okay, right? You're more. oh my god

Speaker 1 so ungrateful it's more okay

Speaker 1 well you have 70 000 instagram followers no how many 57

Speaker 1 whatever yeah look at her face yeah why because of bad because that's why

Speaker 1 that's right and that's why and fancy but definitely not pete just know that yeah fancy for sure definitely not pete and george has his baby now right his baby's out yesterday yeah and andres said and i'm gonna I'm going to call out Andres right now.

Speaker 1 He said some shit before you guys came. I'm going to call out what you said.
He goes, I was surprised. Their baby was cute.

Speaker 1 Sweaty. Verbatim.
Pretty cute. And it was so funny because the baby was born.
And then, you know, I didn't do it. I mean, I heard it.
Sure. I don't know how I heard it.
Yeah. The baby's born.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, it's like, it didn't register.

Speaker 1 I just went about my day, play games. Yeah, life goes on.
Eight hours later, I'm at the dinner table with, and she goes, did you, so what did you talk to George?

Speaker 1 What did he say?

Speaker 1 I I didn't talk to George. Why would I? She's like,

Speaker 1 what kind of human being are you? Nothing. What did I do? I called him when he was in the hospital.
Did you call him? No.

Speaker 1 No. Did you call him to congratulate him? I texted him about a work thing, and then he.

Speaker 1 I'll be real. You haven't called him and congratulated him.
No, fuck no. That's fucking weird.
No, big deal. It's just George.

Speaker 1 I know, that's how I felt about it. So then I had to make the call, and he picks up.
He goes, hello. He's surprised that I called.
Here, hold on. You can read this.

Speaker 1 Look at this. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let me read it. Let me read it.

Speaker 1 Look, Wednesday. Read what it says on Wednesday.

Speaker 1 So, Wednesday. What's up with the ads on Anchor? That's what I said.
What's up with the ads?

Speaker 1 Because I'm like, what is anchor at? Yeah. Yep.
No, no, read right below. You'll see what he says to me.
I go, what's up with the ads on anchor?

Speaker 1 Because I'm trying to figure out what's going on with Michael. This is exactly.
Hey, my wife's water broke this morning, so we're at Kaiser now. But Bryce can answer anything.
Then you go, congrats.

Speaker 1 Like a fucking asshole. Congrats.
Congrats! I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't fucking care. Oh, my God.
Congrats to George. We do love him so very much.
I'm very happy for him.

Speaker 1 But I was like, oh, I go, you know, so

Speaker 1 what's it like? Like, I didn't know what to, you know what I mean? Well,

Speaker 1 what are you supposed to say? What are guys supposed to say to other guys when they, to me,

Speaker 1 girls, it's a thing with weddings and babies and girls are like, oh my God.

Speaker 1 But a guy is always like, cool. Yeah.
Well, because once you get certain amount of information, like, the baby's here. It's healthy.
And I ask, is it alive? Yeah, it's alive. It's alive.

Speaker 1 And she goes, it's alive. I go, is it fine? Yep.
Then there's no need to call. Okay, goodbye.
Yeah, I have all the information I need. Right?

Speaker 1 After the it because it becomes a little bit more, you know, I don't want to say this word, but gay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sure. You know what I mean? I don't know how, but it does.

Speaker 1 It feels gay. It feels gay to go, you know what I mean? What's the baby? So how's your feel? What are you feeling?

Speaker 1 How much hair does it have? Yeah. What does it look like? Yeah, what does it look like? You know?

Speaker 1 And I asked some stupid question, like,

Speaker 1 so, you know, was it everything that you ever dreamed of? Like,

Speaker 1 I don't do it. Do you know? Well, you hate babies.
Yeah. What did you say to George about George's baby? Did you say anything to him?

Speaker 6 I didn't say anything.

Speaker 1 Good for you. Good for you.
Good for you. And that's the route we should have taken.
Yeah, that's on brand. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When he said my wife's water broke and we're at the hospital, I should have blocked his number. Yeah.
We'll just deleted his fucking information. That's it.
I don't need him anymore.

Speaker 1 He's out of my life. Congratulations to George.
And there's this brand new baby. What's the name? Can we say the name? Nobody knows.
George. It's a a boy

Speaker 1 it's a boy right wait did you just hear he's oh my god Andres no no it has to be that are you making it up it has to be George because of the fact that it's George V remember because he's the fourth no is it is he the fifth George is the fourth he's the son the baby's the fifth yes oh it has it's a it's a it's a part of the lineage see this is the thing about whites that I don't like I hate whites we that's a white thing to do they don't do that and they don't do that anywhere else in the world my dad's name is Robbie

Speaker 1 That's right, Robert. Yeah, but that's because you're descendants of Robert E.
Lee, the great general that we love so much.

Speaker 1 That's the weirdest thing in the world, though. Yeah.
Why did you do a white thing? Why did he do that? Like, I'm not. If I had a baby, I would name it because now you would never name your kid Bobby.

Speaker 1 No, you can go more.

Speaker 1 How do I say this? You can go more black with it. What would your black baby be? You could say whatever.
Now I would say something that's never been said.

Speaker 1 Nitrous. Nitrous is tight.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a cool name.
Or

Speaker 1 guava. I don't see just.
Ooh, Guava is really good.

Speaker 1 Come here, Guava. Yeah.
Guava Lee. Metaphor.

Speaker 1 Not metaphor. Metaphysical.
Metaphysical Lee. Yeah, that's pretty good.
I think Guava Lee is so silly. I'm not even kidding at all.
Guava Lee. Sharp.
I'm going to name my kid Sharp.

Speaker 1 You could do whatever. Sharp Santino.
Come here, Sharp. You could just say it would make a noise.

Speaker 1 What's how?

Speaker 1 Come here, what's how?

Speaker 1 I want to see these Rudy kids, so let's

Speaker 1 see some of the others. Let's see the videos.
Videos.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to temper my expectations on on this.

Speaker 1 But because they're replacing you,

Speaker 1 get in.

Speaker 1 We bought her a fucking mic arm. That's the fucking worst.
And it goes right to your face. It's sleepy.
Listen, Jules. Yes.
You have to vote. You have to figure out.

Speaker 1 Right? Yeah, she has to vote.

Speaker 7 This is replacing you. So pay attention.

Speaker 1 Pay attention. All right, here we go.

Speaker 8 Hi, Judo, Bobby. Hi, Chuto, Andrew.
And of course, the rest of the Bad Friends crew. Andres.

Speaker 8 Rudy, of course, including the other guy I'm not going to mention.

Speaker 8 Because why the fuck would I?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. Props.

Speaker 8 Well, anyway, this is not really an addition, but more of a plea to allow me to replace Rudy on the Bad Friends podcast.

Speaker 1 Interesting.

Speaker 8 I think I'd be a wonderful addition. I'm very frail.

Speaker 1 Look at this wrist, right?

Speaker 1 I do like skinny, frail people. That's funny.

Speaker 8 I'm going to take a pound over 90.

Speaker 8 Also, I have an indent in my chest, so that kind of makes me a freak, like both Tito Bobby and Tito Andrew.

Speaker 1 Cool.

Speaker 8 Tito Andrew, of course, who's a ginger, and Tito Bobby, who.

Speaker 1 that's you kissing my ball. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But,

Speaker 8 oh, my name's Peter. I forgot to say that.

Speaker 1 Oh, yuck. We already got one.
That's open.

Speaker 8 I'll do anything.

Speaker 1 Bobby, I'll.

Speaker 1 I'll suck your little dumpling. Okay.
I like this guy. Okay, I like him.
All right, well, okay, we can't say anything.

Speaker 1 Sorry, you have to. This is on you.
So that's one. All right, let's get.
Well, your opinion so far. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 6 He was funny.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Thanks for that in-depth interview. Oh, my God.
It's like, it's honestly, it's like pulling fucking molars. It's so hard to get anything out of her sometimes.
You should do a TED talk. Yeah.

Speaker 1 With a kind of information. Here we go.
Wait, let's.

Speaker 1 Wait, one second, though. One second.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Honestly,

Speaker 1 if he's interviewing for you, you're the fucking CEO of Rudy Enterprise. This guy comes in for a job.
He just interviewed. What do you say?

Speaker 6 It's good to know you. You were really funny.

Speaker 1 We can't replace no, no, no, that's insane. Yeah, because it's never gonna work.
You wouldn't even answer to that one. I know.
That's like a clever, that's her own brand. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Less is more. Less is more.
Less is more with her.

Speaker 1 All right, let's see this girl with too many air-conditioning units behind her. Let's go.

Speaker 9 Hey, I'm Savannah. I'm 20 years old.
I know that I'm a white girl, but I'm also gay.

Speaker 1 So I think that even things things out a little bit. Okay, we do.
Okay.

Speaker 9 I'm actually being held hostage by the entire state of Utah. Mormons may seem nice, but they're really scary, especially when you're gay.

Speaker 1 Anyway,

Speaker 1 as soon as possible, that would be great.

Speaker 9 My brothers want me to apply because apparently I am

Speaker 9 the worst friend on the entire planet.

Speaker 9 In conclusion, I think that I would be a great contender for a bad friend

Speaker 9 because I'm short, fat, and Korean, and I sleep in until three of the morning.

Speaker 1 she's the shit. Yeah, I like her.
Sorry, I shouldn't. We're voicing our opinion.

Speaker 5 No, I like her.

Speaker 1 She's awesome. Okay.

Speaker 1 So, but, and she, by the way, she has connives in the background, which I love. Look at the knive connection.
Yeah. Put her.

Speaker 1 So, for the ones that we really like, why don't we put them aside or Markham or something? Savannah's her name. Yeah.
She's fucking great.

Speaker 1 And by the way, a white gay woman on here? That'd be great. That'd be great.
Yeah. But she's missing the innocence.

Speaker 1 No, she's in Utah. She's in Hill Capital.
There's a wally about her that's kind of like

Speaker 1 almost as if that's irreplaceable. No, we can maybe find it.
Well, we'd have to buy another Filipino off the internet. We have to go search for it.
What are they running for $559.95? What are they?

Speaker 1 Get your own custom Filipino today. $49.99.
Two easy payments. Plus shipping and handling.
We would, by the way, we wouldn't pay for the upgraded shipping for that, would we?

Speaker 1 We would just get the regular, the boat. All right.
Who else is on there?

Speaker 1 I think a girl. Girls are preferable to replace

Speaker 1 a girl. We don't need another dude.
Oh, a little. All right.
Look at this guy. All right, look at this guy.

Speaker 1 Cute.

Speaker 7 Hi, bad friends. My name's Anthony.
I'm 19, and I have what it takes to be the next Rudy. I live in L.A.
I live in Wisconsin. I don't live in L.A.
I have a lot of mental trauma, and I love you guys.

Speaker 7 And I have a lot of traits that two men would want in a woman. Andrew Santino, you totally forgot that you had a show in Wisconsin last week.
You said, oh, I've got shows in Salt Lake City and Boston.

Speaker 7 But I forgot the other one, and that was Wisconsin, unfortunately. So I got my tickets refunded because you do not care about your fans.
And now you guys are going in a microwave.

Speaker 1 All right. Goodbye.

Speaker 1 They ruined his phone just for the bid. That's great.
Wow. Wow.
Good for that. Who's that? With that kid, Anthony? Very good.
Really good. I like him.
He's a distorted Matt Damon. What do you think?

Speaker 5 I like him, but he seems aggressive.

Speaker 1 All right. That's a good.

Speaker 1 perfect you read that that's good honestly please take notes next to it that says i i like but aggressive actually rename it rename the file anthony in parentheses i like but aggressive i need to have her quotes on the files i like but aggressive and then what did you say about let's mark for first guy peter what did you think about the first guy again what was your instinct with him he's funny he's funny great that's all we need to say he's funny and savannah number two the girl that we just had what did we say about her i like her i shouted i like her i and right please write i shouted i like her very good.

Speaker 1 Well, dude, so far, we got three good candidates and a guy who ruined her phone. Keep it going.

Speaker 1 Keep it going.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you why, though, that guy's good. He didn't really ruin the phone.
No, he cut early. Yeah.
Right. So they made a sound effect later, I think.
That was great. Yeah, it was really good.

Speaker 1 Very smart.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
Here we go. We go.
Another lady.

Speaker 3 It's Gianna from Texas for like the third time.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, we know her.

Speaker 4 Masks, orang tank tips.

Speaker 3 I'll definitely love to be a temporary Rudy for you guys

Speaker 3 until you find a Rudy that you love.

Speaker 3 Have someone on that will make you want.

Speaker 1 You know what's great about her? There's something about her that's very perfect for us. Because she doesn't give a fuck.
I love how little she gives a fuck. She doesn't, yeah.

Speaker 1 She's like running errands. What do you say about her?

Speaker 5 She's very

Speaker 6 warm. I like her

Speaker 5 presence.

Speaker 1 Okay. She also.
She's very warm. I like her presence.
For somebody to I look at their own breasts and go, yeah, they're orangutan. That's what she said to us on the call.

Speaker 1 She's like, I got orangutan tits. That's cool.
She's the shit. Yeah, yeah.
I like her very much. I don't even know what orangutan tits look like.
Sure, you do. I know.

Speaker 1 Here's Nathan.

Speaker 11 I'm auditioning for Rudy on the Bad Guys podcast because

Speaker 11 a good replacement. You know, like I'm Filipino.
I like knives. I like anime as well.

Speaker 1 I'm not quiet though.

Speaker 11 So if you want your

Speaker 7 give me a call.

Speaker 1 Well, I get it and I like it. Yeah.
What do you say, Rude?

Speaker 5 He's very honest.

Speaker 1 He's very honest.

Speaker 1 Man, you're so descriptive. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, she should prefer like a company that like describes things on like for, you know, I mean, like, on food. Does descriptions of

Speaker 1 advertisement, an advertisement agency. Imagine if she worked at an advertising agency and they were like, Rudy, how's that drink? And she's like, it's warm and I like liquid.

Speaker 1 Perfect. Well, you're in.
All right, let's get another woman. Let's get another lady.
Is there another lady?

Speaker 1 I think ladies would work because here's the problem. You and I, you're very alpha melee-y.
Correct. Yeah.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I'm a cross between both.

Speaker 1 I can be innocent and like being the victim, but I can also be. No, yes, I'm sorry.
I do a victim thing. No, the best.
You're the best victim.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Yeah, I'm a very victim, like, ah, poor me, this and that. But then I can also go real alpha male and attack and mean and be aggressive and mean, right? 100%.
So I'm between.

Speaker 1 So we're both, you know, we need somebody

Speaker 1 that's why she works is because she has none of that.

Speaker 1 All right, this is, who is this? This is Billy. All right, let's see Billy.

Speaker 2 Hi, this is my audition for the I Wanna Be Rudy thing that you posted. I'm not sure how these go or what you're supposed to say in them.
I'm not an actress or anything.

Speaker 10 But my name is Billy and I'm half Colombian.

Speaker 2 I was born in Venezuela though.

Speaker 10 I grew up in Indonesia. I don't know what you're supposed to talk about in these things.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I love the show.

Speaker 2 I started watching it probably about six months ago or something like that and only recently heard about Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino probably about a year and a half ago or something and I just love the show.

Speaker 2 I think it's great and I'd love to be a part of it.

Speaker 10 And

Speaker 2 yeah, I don't know what else to talk about, but if you need any more information, you can get in touch with me.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what? You know what I'm going to say?

Speaker 1 The only person that would match her innocence so far. I think she's the best.
She's so far the best. She's so innocent.
So sweet and normal. She's sincere and authentic.

Speaker 1 And she can tell that she's a little scared. A little scared.
And she doesn't really know what's going on. I really like her a lot.
Honestly, what do you think?

Speaker 6 She's the best.

Speaker 1 Rudy likes her so much. Put that down to her.
She's the best. She's the best.
Yeah. Something about her was so honestly an innocent.
And like she, honestly, she was like,

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't.
I think she, and I think in the middle of the filming, she was like, I don't even know if I want to do this. Right.
That's kind of why. Yeah, I don't know how she.
I like those.

Speaker 1 I don't know how this goes. Yeah, it's great.

Speaker 1 Billy, you're in the front. According to Rude Rude, she's number one right now.
Number one. Any more women? Any more girls? How many more women?

Speaker 1 Jazz. Let's just look at the women.
Sure. Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Already, the look is there. I mean, what do you

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 12 Hi, Andrew, hi, Bobby, hi, Rudy, and everybody at Bad Friends.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 12 Before I begin my audition tape, I actually wanted to take the time and tell you guys that I did create a jingle. This was a couple weeks ago

Speaker 12 for Bad Friends. It's not perfect yet, but I do want to just, you know, sing it for you guys.

Speaker 1 And I hope that you guys like it. Oh, of course.

Speaker 12 Hey, everybody, thanks for listening. We like being funny and laughing all the way.

Speaker 12 Here we got Andrew and Tito Bobby don't forget about Jules she's quiet but naughty but anyways we'll see you next week thank you for being a bad friend wow

Speaker 12 but anyways my name is Jonathan and I am 27 years old and I am from New Jersey I don't currently live in California but it's always been a dream of mine to live in LA just because I've always wanted to work in the entertainment space preferably in music music, but you know, anything along those lines, just so I could work my way up, you know, and learn about the industry, the backbone, you know, everything that goes with it.

Speaker 12 Um, I do have two degrees. Um, I have a bachelor's and a master's in communications.
I learn everything with marketing, social media, broadcasting, and public relations.

Speaker 12 I am a freelance social media manager.

Speaker 1 Um, okay.

Speaker 1 I am running to help out with social media. I am not doing anything that I can, you know, just to get my experience over the internet stuff here,

Speaker 1 I'm definitely fancy.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. Can we

Speaker 1 go? I want to go to the end. I want to go to the end.
Okay.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. No, no, don't.
No, go. Just play it all the way through.
I want to listen to the whole thing. Okay.
Hope to hear from you guys. Bye.

Speaker 1 Bye-bye. Bye.

Speaker 1 She's sweet. First of all, number one.

Speaker 1 First of all, the song was fucking dope. Right? That was dope.
She's a go-getter. Big time.
She wants it. Go-getter.
She does.

Speaker 1 I feel like someone like this, honestly, is not a Rudy, but also is very. Like, she's someone that could be on the bad friends' team.
I don't know. She could replace some other people I know.

Speaker 1 You're talking about fans?

Speaker 1 Some other people. Fancy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Honestly, I want you to sing kind of what she said. So, you know, as close as you can.
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 13 Okay.

Speaker 1 You are funny, and Tito Andrew, not so fun.

Speaker 13 I like working at Beth Friends

Speaker 1 a lot.

Speaker 1 It's good enough. The lyrics are great.

Speaker 1 The lyrics are great. How many do we have left? One more girl, right? We have one more girl.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 the lyrics are great, by the way.

Speaker 1 I love that, whatever that is. That's a tapestry of some tapestry.

Speaker 1 Hi.

Speaker 14 Hi. Hi, Bobby.

Speaker 1 Santina. Hey, Fancy Beat, Rudy Jules, And the one that shall not be named.
That's right. My name is Mia Seales, and I'm 22 years old.

Speaker 14 I just graduated with an art degree.

Speaker 14 Get closer to the mic.

Speaker 1 I think this is closer to it.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 14 Although I do not eat foreign festivals a day, I do like Attack on Titan.

Speaker 13 It's like it's going to prison.

Speaker 1 No, but that's a.

Speaker 14 The thing is, is that

Speaker 1 I'm a young female.

Speaker 14 I can do the job.

Speaker 1 She's cool. She's good.
I like her. She's cool.
Because you can tell she's a fan. What do you say? She slated? Because you talked about slating one.
Yeah, she slated. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What do you say, Rude?

Speaker 6 I feel like she's a top two.

Speaker 1 Okay, top two. Write it down.
I feel like she's a top two. Two.
By the way, we didn't even have Rudy comment, and I apologize about Jasmine. What did we say about Jasmine again?

Speaker 1 What did we say about her?

Speaker 5 She's very sweet, but her speech was very long.

Speaker 1 Write that down. It's very sweet, but very long.

Speaker 1 So, would you say, is there any guys looking worth looking at? You've seen the videos, right?

Speaker 1 Is there a guy that's worth looking at? And they're all worth looking at, obviously. Well, there's just too many, is what you mean.
Oh, boy. I already know.
Well, I already already know.

Speaker 1 All right, okay.

Speaker 1 That's a great video, dude. Dude, can we give that guy a gig? Whatever it is,

Speaker 1 that's so good.

Speaker 1 That's all he did. That's all he did.
Play that again. That's so fucking good, dude.
That guy knocked it out of the fucking park. It's simple.
Less is more.

Speaker 1 Yes, bro.

Speaker 1 I gotta tell you.

Speaker 1 He's funny. He's funny.
Thanks, Jules.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Today, is there another one?

Speaker 1 He's funny. Honestly, he's really good.
David.

Speaker 1 Joseph. Here's Joseph.

Speaker 1 Every time I now read a name, I just do it with a Philippine.

Speaker 15 Joseph Tito Bobby,

Speaker 15 Atikalila said he can't go out because of COVID.

Speaker 4 You know,

Speaker 15 I can't go to Starbucks.

Speaker 15 But, you know,

Speaker 15 close close to the mic

Speaker 15 I I like anime

Speaker 15 um cause they got cute eyes

Speaker 15 and they're the teeth

Speaker 15 well but Tito Tito Bobby

Speaker 15 oh come on man

Speaker 4 who did

Speaker 15 one you bad friends

Speaker 4 bad friends you need

Speaker 4 to baby

Speaker 4 Andrew

Speaker 15 no, come on, don't don't leave, bad friends.

Speaker 15 You're Filipino, you know,

Speaker 15 you can do anything, like, you know, get tortured

Speaker 15 ancestors, you know, with the Spaniards, like fans of the

Speaker 15 you know, come on, put that in a kayamo kayam, and you can do it, motherfucker.

Speaker 1 You guys,

Speaker 1 do you understand his language? Yeah, what'd he say?

Speaker 6 He just said, um, it's bad bad friends, don't leave.

Speaker 6 And it's itobabbi, he's funny. Tito Andrew is funny.

Speaker 1 What was the last part? Was a takabang bang, come on?

Speaker 5 He said putangina, motherfucker.

Speaker 1 Oh, motherfucker. Putangini.
Wait, wait. Putangima.
Putanima.

Speaker 2 Putang ina.

Speaker 1 Putangina. Putang ima.
Ina.

Speaker 1 Putangina. Putangina.
Putangina. I'm saying it good, right? Putangina? Make it faster.

Speaker 5 Putangina.

Speaker 1 Putangina. Putangina.
Putangina. Ah, putangina.
Yeah, like

Speaker 1 can I say that now? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's motherfucker. Cool.
Potangina. I'm going to write it down, actually.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'll do it later. I live with you.

Speaker 1 So of all these people so far, I guess what we've come to is you like Billy? Billy's number one. Okay.
So maybe we'll have to reach out and do like a Zoom with Billy and see if maybe she qualifies.

Speaker 1 Oh, by the way, George Lopez says hi. Hey, what's up, George? He did.
Okay, hi. Hey, what's up? Yeah.
Yeah. That's all.

Speaker 1 That was, oh, right. You did the cast.
That's true. No, when he casts.

Speaker 1 He did Tiger Belly. Yeah, he did the podcast.
That's what I meant. He did the cast.
Podcast, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Let me ask one real question about George.

Speaker 1 Was he early? Way early. Yeah.
Well, how do you know? He's notoriously prompt, is the way I'll say it.

Speaker 1 Well, really? Because he was like, we were like, I was smoking outside, no shirt on. I was in my balcony.
I'm like, oh, we have 20 minutes. He's not going to be.

Speaker 1 I've heard that he is remarkably sharp. And he was right there in my driveway.
Yeah. What's up, bro? I think he takes things very serious in the business in that regard.

Speaker 1 That's why, dude, that's a marking of someone that I see that's been in the game for a long time, that's good at what they do.

Speaker 1 It's like Steve Harvey, where you're like, oh, this motherfucker.

Speaker 1 They have this old school professionalism. Yes, dude.
Right? Because I remember when I was in the late 90s,

Speaker 1 the first time I opened for somebody,

Speaker 1 I was going to Texas. I think I was opening for Pauli in Addison or something, right? And I was taking a flight, and George Lopez was in the middle seat of a southwestern airline.

Speaker 1 I'd already seen him on Arsinio, and I was just thinking to myself, wow, he's not in first class, he's sitting in middle seat, and what a work ethic. Oh, yeah, dude, what a work ethic.

Speaker 1 And then every time I would go on the road, he was always somewhere working somewhere.

Speaker 1 But those guys, finding it out, their mentality, you said it, the professionalism of that generation is fucking unmatched. Those guys were just the top tits because they knew

Speaker 1 there's so much competition back then.

Speaker 1 Now people can make their own work.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I find it to be far more difficult now, do you think? Or no? Well, here's the thing. I think there were so few jobs back then that you had to be so good and so on your shit, right?

Speaker 1 Where now we make our own, like this is our own show. Well, in the 80s, it's just different.

Speaker 1 But in the 80s, okay, first of all, in the 80s, there was never a boom like there was in the late 70s and 80s. Sure.

Speaker 1 In the 80s of like every city, five or six comedy clubs would spring up. Yeah, it was like

Speaker 1 everyone's grandmother was doing it and mother, or everyone was doing it.

Speaker 1 When you started, how many people when you okay, you know, I grew up, I started what they called the dark ages in 90. 95.

Speaker 1 Yeah, when you started, it was dog shit. Everyone had dropped out.
The clubs had all failed. The clubs were closing.
Nobody was doing it anymore. It wasn't like the cool thing to do.
Right.

Speaker 1 And so I'm lucky in the way, a sense that, like, you know, it was

Speaker 1 the people that were doing it were the ones that were really doing, like, should be doing it. Or the ones that were like survivalists.
Like, they were going to be.

Speaker 1 Because people would go, you're doing stand-up comedy. Why? Right.
What a nightmare. Yeah, yeah.
Right. Terrible.

Speaker 1 But that generation,

Speaker 1 his generation that made it through all that shit, too,

Speaker 1 I mean, because they had to go from things are great to, oh my God, dark ages. And now they're back up again.
Yeah. And his,

Speaker 1 you know, he's just, he's just, he was very nice, you know. He's a smart.

Speaker 1 He didn't say hi. I know he didn't.
He's a smart dude. He's a smart dude.
He's very funny. Yeah.

Speaker 1 uh and it's that generation of guy that i do think i respect very much about how what they what they did for the game and like honestly it's up to us to do that for the next because it's not the thing is changing dude i mean did you see i wanted to be so supportive but coming to america too

Speaker 1 i did not watch it i did see the i did see it on my netflix or whatever what is on hp i don't know amazon but there was a is it it's it amazon yeah and you want to root for it right no i don't

Speaker 1 because our friends are in it no you just kind of want to root for because it's comedy no i don't i disagree i don't like sequels of i in that regard i think it's like leave those things alone i i've always been that way i'm like why did you why we don't all right but that's why i saw it no i didn't need dumb and dumber again i don't need

Speaker 1 i don't need button i don't tell you why i don't want animal house again leave these things alone i know leave them alone i know all right so you support it but but yeah we have friends that are in it so which is yeah i have so many people that i know so many people are very nice but i couldn't get through this in the opening in the opening right Is it bad?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. It's that bad.
It's like, so what's the fucking McDonald's, McDowell's? Yeah, McDonald's. McDowell's McDowell's, right?

Speaker 1 So I don't know what's the country that Eddie Murphy's character comes from.

Speaker 1 Is it an African country that's like...

Speaker 1 It's Zamunda, yeah. Zamunda.
Zamunda, right?

Speaker 1 So now there's a McDowell's

Speaker 1 in Zamunda. Very funny.
I like that. Right.
So there's a scene where, you know,

Speaker 1 Eddie Murphy, you know, Arsenia Hall's character. Yeah.
They're all at McDowell's. And Zamunda.
Yeah, and it's shot in a weird way where it's like, basically, it's a wide shot, essentially, right?

Speaker 1 And you have, you know, the main cast, but then you have people around them staying around them, and everyone says something.

Speaker 1 But Louis Anderson's there, love, who, like, because he was in the first movie. He worked at McDowell's, yeah, in Chicago or wherever it might have been, right?

Speaker 1 He was the mop boy at McDowell's, right? Right. So now he lives in Zamunda.
Everyone's there because he's a, you know, Louis's doing great. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It is.

Speaker 1 Say it.

Speaker 1 If

Speaker 1 I wanted to take my iPad, I was watching on my iPad, right? Yeah. Lay it down on my hardwooden floor.
Or put it in a microwave. Put my anus against, I mean, the screen, and just

Speaker 1 shit your way through it. Yeah, it was that bad.
Really? Not one joke made you laugh? It just, it just, the whole thing made me cringe.

Speaker 1 But, okay, be honest, was it because of the reminiscence of how how much you liked the original, or was it because it was just it just didn't seem right.

Speaker 1 It's almost as if, like, um, we were living in a different dimension, right? Like, I was like, some evil dimension, right? Right. And like, I was like tied to like a chair made out of meat carcasses.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? And there were like eyeballs flying by with wings, right? Right. And like, you know, I open, I see my hands and there's teeth.
Like, right. And I'm being, right? Right.

Speaker 1 And there's like a fat lady that's slimy, right? With like two forks sticking out of her eyes, right? Like,

Speaker 1 right, right? Yeah. And then they, and the lady with the forks, right? She comes and gives me the iPad and shows me the scene.
And I'm in this meat carcass scene.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's what it felt like. Like, it was a nightmare.
By the way, that's the best movie review I've ever heard in my life.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 And it was just at that point, right? I was sweating. Yo, you were getting my shirt off.
It was off, and I was like, you know what I mean? Like, I was having a panic. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And because I love the first movie. I mean, literally one of my favorite movies of all time.
Yes. Classic, right?

Speaker 1 And then they're doing, then you could see they're doing other people's, you know, they have the other characters.

Speaker 1 Well, they were using old jokes, too? No, yeah. Arsinio is playing the other characters.
You know, they play three or four different characters at the barbershop.

Speaker 1 But it's like, Arsino is so old, he still looks like the old guy, you know what I mean? Like Like that, there's a preacher guy who's old, too. They look the same age now.

Speaker 1 Like, it's as almost as if they didn't even have to do makeup or whatever. They're like, you're good.
You have to watch it. It's something special.
Well,

Speaker 1 I wanted to watch it, but I didn't.

Speaker 1 I like supporting our people that we know that are in things.

Speaker 1 But my issue with those things, I'm telling you, I hate remake, or like, not remakes, but what are they? What's that called, Andre?

Speaker 1 What is it? Sequel?

Speaker 1 But it's not really a sequel because it's

Speaker 1 remakes. Reboot.
No, that's right. It's reboot.
That's where exactly. It's called a reboot.
Yeah. Like Ghostbusters.
It was a reboot. It wasn't a sequel.
It wasn't a remake.

Speaker 1 The all-female cast was a reboot. Okay, so I'm trying to think of...
I've never,

Speaker 1 I haven't heard of one reboot in my mind that I said, oh, I'm glad they did that. All right, I'm thinking about it right now.
Let me think.

Speaker 1 Because there was one called, that was one of the worst movies ever made. It was called Flatliners.
Oh, I remember Flatliners. Yeah.
I know. Yes, I remember that movie.

Speaker 1 So the first movie was okay growing up. Correct.
Yeah. They redid it.
I know. Oh, my God.
And I always watch them. Right.
Oh, you know what? Oh, there you go. What about Godzilla?

Speaker 1 Yeah, the first Godzilla, the 2014 Godzilla with Brian Cranson. Yeah, it was great.
It was great. Yeah, it was so good.
That was good. Okay, so we got one.
Okay, but I just saw

Speaker 1 another Kong versus... No, I wouldn't watch it.
I refuse. Why? I just don't want.
It's just because I can't see it in a movie theater, honestly. Yeah.
I need to see that in a movie theater.

Speaker 1 Why am I watching that at my house on my iPad? It's just.

Speaker 1 The movie theaters are open. Are Are they open again? Yeah, they are.
Not here in LA. I saw you in the theater.
You went to see a movie? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why the also when they advertise it, you know, premiering on at movie theaters and IMAX, HBO Max. Right.
It's like, I'll watch it here. I'll watch it here.
Yeah, but that movie.

Speaker 1 What did you go see in the theater, Drace? I went to see the Kong versus Godzilla. Okay, what'd you think of it? And how was it? It was pretty bad.

Speaker 1 But, you know, here's what takes me out of it in the beginning of the, right?

Speaker 1 It's just, they show Kong, right? Yeah. In the jungle, right?

Speaker 1 Andreas. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he's like, he wakes up, he smells the, you know, trees. Yeah.
And then there's a waterfall, and he's taking a shower. Cute.
Right? Like a cute.

Speaker 1 Almost as if Kong, you know what I mean? He seemed way too

Speaker 1 human

Speaker 1 and cute for me. Right? And as soon as they did that, and also you can tell it's CGI.

Speaker 1 They couldn't get a real Kong? No, that's not my point, man. I know what you're saying.
No, my point is. But let me ask this: is there a reason they humanized him

Speaker 1 for the sake of the story of the film, Andres? No, it was just like the scene in Shrek, you know, like kind of like that opening in Shrek making.

Speaker 1 So that wasn't that wasn't like a choice, that was just a thing they did. Yeah, it wasn't for the film.
It's like a video game, the whole movie.

Speaker 1 Here's my point. Okay, my point.
I'm not a movie reviewer, but here's my point. Okay, what makes that Godzilla from 2014

Speaker 1 good

Speaker 1 is you don't see Godzilla until like 25% inside in the movie. All right, so we'll poo-poo that.
But you know what? When they do American remakes in movies, right, like the like The Ring,

Speaker 1 The American Ring,

Speaker 1 was scary. I liked it.
Yeah, it was scary. Oh, have you seen? You saw the American Ring?

Speaker 2 I think.

Speaker 1 Good.

Speaker 1 I don't remember the ring.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I watched The Ring.

Speaker 1 Can I tell you something? Yeah. You've been on the show now for so long.
Even if you didn't, just say yes.

Speaker 1 Just go with me.

Speaker 1 The American ring was good. You liked it, right?

Speaker 1 Bob? I saw the ring with you.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Rudy. Very good.

Speaker 1 Very good.

Speaker 1 Very good. That was a test.

Speaker 1 That was so good. Rudy Jules.

Speaker 1 Yes. Swish.

Speaker 1 God, you're good. Yeah.
But so I bring this up because

Speaker 1 LeBron is doing

Speaker 1 Space Jam. Yeah.
No, thanks. But did you see the

Speaker 1 original is one of my favorites? But did you see the trailer, though? Yes, it looks cool. It's cool.
It looks cool, but I, but I know. It's just something about...
And also, Michael Jordan.

Speaker 1 Michael Jordan. Right.
Michael Jordan. What do you mean? Michael Jordan.
But it's also, you know, at one point, these movies, like Predator, or whatever these movies are, right?

Speaker 1 At one point, these movies were original. Planet of the Apes, right? Right.
So, Ghostbusters, when you first saw it, you had never seen anything like it. Yep.

Speaker 1 It's like, you know, it's played or real, but the ghosts are, you know, I mean, goofy and cartoony. Totally.
Four really funny people, you know what I mean, in the movie, right?

Speaker 1 And it's just like, it's action-packed. It's

Speaker 1 family-friendly, right? To a degree. Adults like it, you know what I mean? Because Bill Murray is like the king at the time, you know,

Speaker 1 he still is, right? Yeah. And it just, it worked, right? Harold Ramis is a genius.
It is a genius. So my point is that, you know, at one point, these movies were original.

Speaker 1 It came from somebody's mind. Right.
And it's fresh, right? And then when you redo it, it's like, what happened to creativity? Let's take a fucking risk.

Speaker 1 Well, they don't want to take a shot right now because Hollywood's owned by China and we have to have films that sell well overseas. Andres, am I right? Absolutely.
100%. You have to have sell.

Speaker 1 These films all have to do well overseas now. It used to be independent studios could exist.
They could invest in a small movie like Lauren Michaels' Slate. You should get more love, right?

Speaker 1 Like a sketch on SNL could be a fucking dynamite dynamite movie. Now those things are impossible to make.
Coneheads, one of my favorite movies of all time. Coneheads was so funny.

Speaker 1 Talking about an original concept, an alien family that gets to fit in with the normal family. He becomes the most beloved guy in his neighborhood.
Dan Aykrod was so fucking funny in that.

Speaker 1 That movie couldn't be made now. You'd have to sell that with like, I don't know, fucking Chris Hemsworth and

Speaker 1 Jackie Chan, maybe.

Speaker 1 Maybe because, right? Yeah, it just, it just, you can't, it's just not the same. You know what we watched last night? I put up a clip online.

Speaker 1 Two nights ago, we watched Beverly Hills Ninja, Farley's movie.

Speaker 1 Bro,

Speaker 1 I fucking loved, loved that movie.

Speaker 1 And I watched it again thinking, is this going to be as funny now? Yeah. Yep.
Didn't even miss it. Didn't miss a fucking beat.
It was so fucking funny.

Speaker 1 That's why when you watch something like, I mean, think about this. Like, Doctor Strange Love.
I mean, what a great film. Right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 They, that, that will, a movie like that will never happen again. Maybe.

Speaker 1 I mean, the odds of it, though.

Speaker 1 You know what I want to do? You know what I want to do right now? Because I've never really done this. I'm going to tell you, and this is really true.

Speaker 1 I'm not just saying this out of my own mind, right? Just to, you know,

Speaker 1 my top 10 movies are movies that everyone has to see because they're movies they'll never make again type of movies. Okay.
Okay. I'm not going to do 10 of them.
I'll just do two or three.

Speaker 1 Well, I know, but you just seem so disappointed in it. Well, because I was like, whoa, cool.
You're going to do 10.

Speaker 1 I just can't. Because I'm just thinking of it right now.
Right? All right, give it. So Peter Sellers in the movie, Being There.

Speaker 1 Being there. Did you see it? No.
Paris, Texas. I've seen Paris, Texas.
Yeah. Yeah, but that's it.
Vin Vendors. That's one of my favorite movies.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. I like it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. Why is it so hot in here?

Speaker 1 Have you noticed it's really hot in here? It's hot outside. They're trying to sweat us out.
Okay, Paris, Texas is great. Yeah, Paris, Texas is great.

Speaker 1 And I'll tell you how the movie opens. Well, don't say, don't give anything.
How it opens, how it opens. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 First of all, it's my favorite love story of all time. Is it? Oh, yeah.
You know what mine is? What? Raising Arizona.

Speaker 1 Dude, bro.

Speaker 1 What are you standing for? I don't know. I thought you were.

Speaker 1 What are you standing for? You stood up. I stood up.
I thought you were going to hug or kiss or fight.

Speaker 1 No, that scared the fuck out of me. I wanted to fuck you just now.
I know.

Speaker 1 I was going to kiss you, but I came in too high. Yeah, that was really bad.
It came in too high.

Speaker 1 I got to work on that. You got to slow.
Let me do it again, right?

Speaker 1 This is how you should have done it, right? Well, no, let's see. See Paris, yeah.
Say that raising herself. Well, you know what my favorite love story is? What? Raising Arizona.

Speaker 1 No, no, you're doing it a lot too hot. I'm doing it too hot.
Damn, I gotta learn how to do it.

Speaker 1 How is that balancing? Can you do it with your face first? Yeah, sorry. Try it with your face, right? All right, yeah, my bad.
So try it with your face first, and then slowly maybe get up.

Speaker 1 Okay, right. But don't be so aggressive.
Well, you know what? My favorite love story is what? Raising Arizona.

Speaker 1 Right, okay. It is such a good movie.
Yeah, yeah. It really is good.
Nathan Arizona, sell you some folks. Have you seen that movie? Yes.
Correct. Yeah.
What is it about?

Speaker 6 It's about a family who lives in Arizona. That's right.

Speaker 5 And it's a

Speaker 6 comedy skit.

Speaker 1 It is a comedy skit.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 And then what is it? That's just the premise about, though.

Speaker 12 They go.

Speaker 1 Don't pick at your cheese pie plate.

Speaker 1 They go.

Speaker 5 They go to school

Speaker 5 They go to work the adults and

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's also true. What's the big thing that happens in the movie? What do they do? What do these two do in the movie?

Speaker 15 They get a

Speaker 1 they get in prison They get in prison That's right. That's right.
You saw the photo. That's right.
They get in prison. That's very nice.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I'm glad you like that.

Speaker 1 One of my favorites of all time. Yeah.
Okay. Go ahead.
What you like. Are you are you a Cohen Brothers fan? Yeah.
What the fuck? What haven't they made that I like? That I don't like?

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't think I've disliked any of their movies. Like even Barton Fink? Sure, it's fine.
It's fine. It's weird.
I like it because it's quirky. Look, it's not something I'm going to watch.

Speaker 1 Huck sucker proxy. Fine.
Fine. Yeah, fine.

Speaker 1 But then they have like Country of Old Man. No country of men.
No Country of Old Men. Oh, my God.
One of the best movies. One of the best movies.
Fargo. Come on.
Oh. Give me a fucking.

Speaker 1 One of the best. Okay, well, there's a caveat.
Fargo, the TV show, I loved as much as I loved the fucking movie. And here's the thing.
I've never seen it. What?

Speaker 1 It is.

Speaker 1 Everyone tells me, everyone tells me the war. Holy fuck.
And I go,

Speaker 1 I love the movie so much. No, dude, you would love.
Have you seen the TV show, Drace? Yeah.

Speaker 1 How good is it? It's incredible. It's fucking

Speaker 1 fucking incredible.

Speaker 1 You've seen Fargo, right?

Speaker 5 Yes.

Speaker 1 Right? Remember what happens in that pilot episode of Fargo, the TV show?

Speaker 5 The father.

Speaker 1 The father shits himself. He shits himself.
It's unreal, dude. You have to see it, Bobby.
It's so good.

Speaker 1 And on the heels of that, and on the heels of that, and on the heels of that, he shits himself. And then what happens? Remember what his mother does then? When she finds out? The moment

Speaker 1 it makes it into a pie. It makes it into a pie, the shit.
The shit. Wow.
It's a shit pie. That's like.
That sounds really good. The pilot episode is called Eat Shit Pie.
Yeah. That sounds really good.

Speaker 1 Bob. So, really.
Holy shit. Because everyone tells me to watch it.
It was one of my favorite shows. I refuse.
It was so. It's so.
So every season. I mean, particularly the first.

Speaker 1 Is that the one Billy Bob Thornton's in? Yes. Particularly the first.
That being said, they were all really fucking good. But Everett, I'll tell you about my Billy Bob Thornton, though.

Speaker 1 Well, you don't like that he kissed us.

Speaker 1 That he...

Speaker 1 No, the Canadian radio show. Oh, what?

Speaker 1 What about the Canadian? I don't know. You knew what happened, right? No.

Speaker 1 But the Canadian radio. Yeah, you do.
What?

Speaker 1 You don't know about the Canadian Radio Show? Should I? No, I'm lying. All right, so he's in a band where he plays.
You already know that, right? Correct, yeah.

Speaker 1 And they're opening up for Willie Nelson in Canada. They were, yeah.
Right, so Billy Bob Thornton is on a radio show. That's on YouTube, right? You can see it, right?

Speaker 1 And I guess before the interview, he tells the

Speaker 1 I remember.

Speaker 1 Why did you make me even... You just clicked it into my brain.
Wait, he tells the DJ, don't bring up the

Speaker 1 actor. Right.
Right. Which is so fucking dumb.
Yeah, that's how we know you. That's how we know you, fucking idiot.
Right? And you're good at it. One of the best.
And you're a good musician.

Speaker 1 One has nothing to do with the other. They can both exist.
They can exist. Right.

Speaker 1 So as soon as he brings,

Speaker 1 in the beginning, he opens up with it. He's a great actor, right? Loss.
And as soon as Billy Bubba just shuts down

Speaker 1 and won't answer any questions. He's such a dick.
Right? Yeah. And he starts talking about random things.
Like, he's asked a direct question.

Speaker 1 He talks about like toys that he grew up, you know what I mean, owning, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And ever since then, I was just kind of like... Lost respect for him.
Yeah. That's not a cool move to me.
It's just not cool.

Speaker 1 That I disrespected him? No, no, no. What he did.
It's just still, you don't do it. It's weird.
Also, by the way, you didn't want to do radio? Don't fucking do it then. Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you're above it, don't fucking do it. Why'd you show up? Yeah.
You didn't have to. You could have said, you know, we're not really doing radio interviews.

Speaker 1 You know what ended up happening happening, right? He got kicked off the tour. Oh, he did? Yeah.
Oh, cool. Yeah.
Well, that's what you get for being a fucking dad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, see, I like that. That's what you get.
You can't just be a dick like that to people.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 By the way, he's a fucking D, a radio DJ. He's just doing his job.
Yeah. He's doing his job.
He wasn't like taking a shot at you.

Speaker 1 that's why I love the internet and stuff because of the fact that, number one, you can see stuff like that. Yeah.
And number two, it's like, oh, so now you have other people.

Speaker 1 There's a new dimension of fame. There's, you know, you have now influencers.
So, you know, you have, you have people that are big in TikTok. You have YouTube.

Speaker 1 There's different forms of entertainment out there. And it lessens the power of the top.
You're right. Do you feel like it's not?

Speaker 1 Well, it also gives weight to other powers. Right.
Right. Like other things start to grow.
And people feel it, I think, on the top.

Speaker 1 You know, before like somebody, I remember one time when I first moved to LA, I was over, there was

Speaker 1 the Chinese Man Theater. Yeah.
I was there walking around in that area. This is before they turned it into the Kodak theater, right?

Speaker 1 So I was walking around right there, and I see two men in suits, black suits, and I think they were black, right? And they were sunglasses at night. And in between them was Bruce Willis.

Speaker 1 They're walking. Just chilling on Hollywood.
No, they're just walking. They're going from somewhere to walk.
They're walking. And I remember, like,

Speaker 1 people were like stunned. Yeah.
I mean, people were, like, people were like.

Speaker 1 Frozen?

Speaker 1 Because, you know what I mean? It's Bruce Willis. Yeah, it's insane.
Right? That's a. It's fucking Bruce Willis.
That's what I was like, right? I was just...

Speaker 1 Right, frozen, bro. Right? Now, if I saw Bruce was like, what's up? I mean, I don't give a fuck.
Hey, dude. Yeah, yeah.
I'd say, hey, dude. Yeah, he probably still walks with the two bodyguards.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey, what's going on? But he doesn't, they don't have that type of like back in the day. I know there's one, like, back in the day, remember the Beatles?

Speaker 1 You remember the Beatles? No, the band. No, it's not ringing a bell.
What do you mean? The Beatles, right? No. The band.
The band, the Beatles. What do you mean the Beatles? The rock band.

Speaker 1 The Beatles. The Beatles, the band.

Speaker 1 What the fuck are you talking about? The Beatles, the band? Yesterday.

Speaker 1 What? Let it be. The monkeys.

Speaker 1 That's the monkeys. Shut the fire.
All right, that's funny.

Speaker 1 Now you're making me sweat more. But remember, like the Beatles would, like, just show up anywhere, and the city would faint.
Girls would light themselves on fire in the streets.

Speaker 1 Like those monks in Vietnam. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Is that right? I mean, they would, like, you know. It was insane.
Yeah. They would like, they'd be in a car, Ringo, everyone would be in a car, right? Right.
And against the window, it's just

Speaker 1 women's vaginas are smeared against it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like you're at some sort of like Chinese, like, you know what I mean, aqua, you know what I mean, aquarium or something.
Right?

Speaker 1 Right? Just vaginas. Vaginas experience.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, they're bigger than big.
That no longer. Now there's no banana.
If you're a 12-year-old girl and you see Harry Styles, well, they lose their fucking minds. They lose their minds.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But it's still not like, you know what I mean? It's not, I'll die.

Speaker 1 I'll die to meet them. It's not, I'll jump off this building just to see Paul McCarthy.
Yeah, they used to do that. Yeah.
I know that is crazy.

Speaker 1 And today, like, my first celebrity setting was Tom Selleck at an airport with my dad. Wait, how old are you? I must have been like 10.
Yeah. And then what'd you do? Lost absolutely batshit bonkers.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And my dad, of course, embarrassingly, he goes, hey, Tom Selick.

Speaker 1 No. Swear to God.
No. Tom Selleck turned and just went like this.
And I was like, no. Dan!

Speaker 1 Why would you do that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tom Selik's going to hate us now.
Yeah, it was just like, but also, no offense, Tom Selick wasn't like, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's not like one of the greatest actors of all time. But like, to me, I was like, holy fucking shit.
Yeah. The guy from Mr.
Baseball is right there. Oh, my God.
Blew my fucking mind.

Speaker 1 You think about it. That's like the highlight of a year.
Oh, on the airplane. I was like, this guy from Mr.
Fucking Baseball.

Speaker 1 I couldn't believe it. Right, right, right.
I was like, he goes to airports. Yeah.

Speaker 1 My mom's the opposite. My mom, so my mom doesn't know anybody.
Right. She didn't know anything.
That's awesome. Right.
And I brought her to the comedy store once. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I go, hey, this is my friend Andrew. Not you, but some other guy.
Andrew, right? My mom goes, hugs her, hugs this guy, right?

Speaker 1 And he goes, she goes, do you work here?

Speaker 1 Right? It was dice.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I work here. I mean, he does.
Yeah, but my brother, I love my mom has no idea. Yeah, but that's great.
Don't worry about it. That's so much better.
So much better.

Speaker 1 She doesn't know many people either. No.
She doesn't know anybody. We could bring in someone so fucking famous.
She wouldn't, it wouldn't even.

Speaker 1 Who's the most famous person that would actually impress you?

Speaker 6 Harry Styles.

Speaker 1 See, look at that. Harry Styles.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 At 19, you still have that? Yeah. It's so funny because

Speaker 1 our face. Because, you know, Ben Winston is, you know what I mean? Yeah.
He basically discovered Harry Styles. Yeah.
And when I was doing that fucking talk show, right?

Speaker 1 This is before the pandemic. Yeah,

Speaker 1 on Cordon?

Speaker 1 What? No, it was not that talk show. I was doing that game show.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember? Yeah, of course.
And Ben produced it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And we were in my dressing room, and Ben walked in, remember?

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I know the connection.
So in my head, I was just like, because we would have done another season without the pandemic. Yeah.
And my goal was, right, and to get them to meet.

Speaker 1 Oh, that was my goal. It just never happened.

Speaker 6 But I'm going to this concert.

Speaker 1 Oh, when? They're putting on a show? If it opens. If it opens in September,

Speaker 1 Hairstyles was in one direction, and he broke away. But did they break up? Are they never going to do it again? Is that what it is? They shouldn't.
Yeah, they're better without each other.

Speaker 1 I have to say, though,

Speaker 1 because I'm a snob. Yeah.

Speaker 1 His first solo album was what? Real good. It was?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 And I have to admit that. After that, did he fall off?

Speaker 1 The other album is okay. There's some catchy, poppy, you know, kind of stuff.
Oh, you say like you're embarrassed about it. Watermelon sugar, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you were saying that? Because, you know,

Speaker 1 I grew up with, you know.

Speaker 1 Oh, stop it. Please.
Don't make me fucking. No, but you grew up with the Stones, right? Yeah, but

Speaker 1 again, there's great rock bands that still exist. Yeah, but it's like as good as as Exile on Main Street, an album.
Come on.

Speaker 1 Listen to the fucking White album.

Speaker 1 But that's to you. I don't know who they are.
That's to you.

Speaker 1 That's to you, Big, is the way that Tary Styles is to her. When you listened to the White album, right? Every song

Speaker 1 is a household. Everyone knows

Speaker 1 the music. Because I think they didn't write it.
I think they stole a lot of that stuff. I wholeheartedly believe that.
I don't believe they made fucking 50 number one hits.

Speaker 1 I think they stole a lot of music. I do.

Speaker 1 I really do. I think they stole a lot of.

Speaker 1 You think they just made that up? They stole a lot. You had two, even three, right? They had scouts going out listening to other people's stuff, and they were stealing.

Speaker 1 If you look, if you listen to Paul McCartney's like, they were the Robin Williams of music.

Speaker 1 You thought it was all his stuff, Daniel. Danny, how much time have we done? You're really making me mad right now, Ron.

Speaker 1 Oh, because I'm because I'm saying that the Beatles didn't write all their own shit. I know they stole stuff.
They stole. They didn't steal anything, man.
That's fucking ridiculous. Thieves.

Speaker 1 You stole. From who?

Speaker 1 Bill Burr's essence.

Speaker 1 I'm such a loser.

Speaker 1 Yeah, his essence. Well, you tried to steal Ken Jongs, but he was.
He was before him.

Speaker 1 How is he so further along? He's more talented. Correct.
That's obvious. That's right.
Yeah. Don't come at me.

Speaker 1 It didn't hurt. What you just said didn't hurt me.
It didn't hurt me, the Bill Burr thing, at all. I'm just going to give you.
I'm going to give you the same thing. You got defensive, bitch.

Speaker 1 You got defensive, bitch. When you make fun of me, you're so sensitive.
I'm going to make fun of you.

Speaker 1 But what you did didn't hurt me. The Bill Burr didn't hurt me either.
You just said a bad joke about me, so I said a bad joke about you.

Speaker 1 Right, but no, but if you would have done the ken junk first to me, I wouldn't have brought it back to you because it would just deflect. Sure, you would.

Speaker 1 By the way, you started this war. Don't be mad because I brought weapons.
There's no war. No, but when you made fun of me, of course I just hit you back.
I hit you back.

Speaker 1 You're trying to egg me on by saying that the Beatles didn't write their own fucking music. Speaking of an egg.

Speaker 1 No, the Beatles, I do believe that they probably begged and borrowed and stole some of that stuff. That's so stoked.
I'm anyway.

Speaker 1 How can you say that that's not... Why wouldn't that be true? What do you know that? How do you know that that's not true? because i'll tell you why because um

Speaker 1 number one did elvis steal

Speaker 1 no but some of his music was co-written by a lot of it was taken from other people taken let's move on many people in the black community have said in the and that he has stolen black music not just the essence of black music he has literally stolen music from other artists

Speaker 1 and they couldn't say anything about it okay and you think the beatles couldn't have that power nope okay let's move on okay yeah yeah i wholeheartedly believe that they're thieves

Speaker 1 they're believe they're thieves Okay. They're thieves.
All right. We were going into a nice movie thing.
It was fine. You get me? And also, and also, I'll say this: they're fucking.

Speaker 1 Paul McCartney is a hypocrite. He's fucking poo-poo full of shit.
Him and his wife started like an anti-drug movement campaign. His whole fucking career was made on drugs.
He's a fucking turd.

Speaker 1 Shut up, Paul McCartney. Dude, if you...
Let me say something right now. Shut up.
If Paul McCartney walked in here right now. Wouldn't give a fuck.
Are you being real? Wouldn't give a fuck.

Speaker 1 Are you being fucking real real regarding? Because the real genius of the Beatles died a long time ago. Who? John? Who? John Lennon.
Yeah, dude. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the real genius of the Beatles was already dead. God, you're so dumb, Paul.
Paul McCartney.

Speaker 1 Don't do drugs, kids. Don't do drugs.

Speaker 1 Your whole fucking career was drugs.

Speaker 1 Who the fuck are you?

Speaker 1 Lucy in the fucking sky with diamonds? You made a fucking album called Yellow Submarine. Yeah.

Speaker 1 your whole shit was drugs. He didn't write those songs.
That's right. Sometimes they co-write songs.

Speaker 1 He wrote Let It Be. Yeah.
Right? Yeah. That's a good song.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It is. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He wrote yesterday.

Speaker 1 I love Paul McCartney. Dude, I'm actually the biggest Beatles fan.
Are you being real? Yeah, that was a good bit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 Well, I think for me, that I, because it didn't happen for me. What didn't happen? Like, for me, it's like, I wanted, when we first do comedy, right, we go, you get in the rocket ship, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Right? You're like, all right, three, two, one. Apollo 13.

Speaker 1 It doesn't shoot, right?

Speaker 1 And then you sit in the rocket ship for a decade. Yeah.
You try to press the buttons. Well, how does this work? You call it NASA.
I think it's broken, right? Now we're working on it, right? It's not.

Speaker 1 And then at one point, they just pry you out of the the fucking machine.

Speaker 1 You're in the wrong rocket ship. You know, you're now, you're no longer an astronaut, right? Right.
So then you're like now back in your car driving home.

Speaker 1 And then I won. And then at one point, three years later, they go, get back in.
Yeah. Right.
We fixed it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it doesn't work.

Speaker 1 So it's like, I, he, right, got in, and it's now in a different fucking solar system. Yep.
Right? It's just, you know what I mean? Yeah. I'm the fucking greatest.
Right.

Speaker 1 And it's like, we're still on Earth.

Speaker 1 Rocket ships are cool.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 For me, it's like I'm,

Speaker 1 you know what I'm on? I'm on a hot air balloon.

Speaker 1 I'm in a hot air balloon. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What am I? What am I in?

Speaker 1 Slowly get up. It's going up.

Speaker 1 It's going up. I'm 60 almost.
This is what I'm doing. And then sometimes

Speaker 1 the helium gets up.

Speaker 1 And then you have to work really hard to fire it up again. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's fucking me.

Speaker 1 You know what I am? What?

Speaker 1 Those little prop planes that fly right below the...

Speaker 1 So you don't have to have oxygen.

Speaker 1 Just hoping no one shoots me down out of the sky. Oh, before the Wright Brothers, there were people that tried to invent flight.

Speaker 1 With the weird fucking...

Speaker 1 That's me. Short begging to stay.

Speaker 1 Just begging to stay afloat.