KATS and Hey Babe Clap Back

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Speaker 1 Hey, hey, y'all. Hey, y'all.
We got new merch available, and we're telling you right now,

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And we just love the fact that you guys like them. So we're going to keep selling them.
If you look down in the merch bar right there or go to Bad Friends Merch.

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Go get it.

Speaker 1 Go get it. Also, your boy is going to be in Salt Lake City April, 8, 9, 10.
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A thank you. You two are bad friends.

Speaker 1 Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 2 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 You two or something. We're bad friends.
What's the vote? What's a consensus? That you're gay. People think that I'm bisexual.
Someone wrote a song about it.

Speaker 1 Someone wrote a song about it? Yeah. Oh, that's interesting.

Speaker 1 A love song. Somebody wrote.
Okay, so last week,

Speaker 1 that episode

Speaker 1 a very hot guy,

Speaker 1 a very hot, a very hot guy. A very hot guy.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Speaker 1 Just a little by, forty-five percent to buy. Little bit of bit of vibe.
Bob likes girls, Bob likes girls. Dance.

Speaker 1 Dance.

Speaker 1 Dance.

Speaker 1 Make her dance. Bob likes

Speaker 1 mixed together like a pro-yo squirrel Bobby took a test because Rudy rat him out and the ants came back without a doubt Bobby trying to say that it's a bow be like Santino

Speaker 1 Bobby's just a little bye that's a great song

Speaker 1 continuation from last week Bobo is back from Hawaii

Speaker 1 bro geez when I was Hawaii I saw this

Speaker 1 I saw a couple of that Woody Allen thing well what oh the documentary do you watch it? No, the two movies. I saw Manhattan

Speaker 1 and Annie Hall. How were they? Really good.
Yeah. He's a great filmmaker.
People don't realize. You know, he does slapstick well.

Speaker 1 No, he does. Yeah, he does.
He does slapstick. He does

Speaker 1 bananas and sleeper slapsticky. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Sunyi is his dog.

Speaker 1 I have no idea what you're saying right now. Let's make it up.
Oh, you want to make it up? Yeah. Okay, let's make it up.
Go ahead. No, wait a minute.
In the documentary, Andreas, you saw it? Not yet.

Speaker 1 Did you see the documentary? No, I didn't watch it yet. I wanted to watch it.
Neil Brennan had the best joke. He said it's the worst Woody Allen movie I've ever seen.
It's funny.

Speaker 1 So he adopts this girl from where? He doesn't adopt.

Speaker 1 She was already pre-adopt. What do you mean? Buy Miafaro.
She's Miafaro. She already had, you know,

Speaker 1 a little Chingling.

Speaker 1 You know, because you can get Chinglings from over there for like cheap. Cheap.
Yeah, real cheap.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So what is it?

Speaker 1 So she got 50 of them she has a bunch of discount you know i mean she adopts this girl she got in bulk yeah she got chicken wings in bulk she got costco chickens yeah yeah yeah so they came over right named him you know what i mean yeah you're moses you know what i mean moses yeah there's one with with the with thick the thick glasses his name is moses is moses okay i i'm i'm moses yeah you're moses give them my real name ting ting you know i mean no you're moses you're moses now and then uh and then so soon yee was already but she they fucked up because they adopted soon yi She was the only one that was adopted later in life.

Speaker 1 How old was she when they adopted her? I don't know, like 17. 13, 17.
How old was she? Seven. Seven, eight.
Okay. He raises her as his stepdaughter.
Not really.

Speaker 1 He came in and he's just like, you know, at first standoffish a bit. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 What do you mean? Why are you laughing? Why are you giggling? He did raise her, right? Am I stupid? Did he raise her, Andres?

Speaker 1 I don't want to say to raise because he had his own apartment. He would come by all the time.
Hey, Sunyi.

Speaker 1 No, nothing. Maybe Woody.
In the beginning, because he was. Do you want me to film you?

Speaker 1 In the beginning, she was like, you know,

Speaker 1 they make her a slave. Do they make her a maid or something? Let me try to

Speaker 1 say these words appropriately so that I don't get in trouble. Well, how could you get in trouble? You didn't do this.
No, because I need to, I have a, I have a thought about it.

Speaker 1 So when she

Speaker 1 when she when he first was dating Mia, she was young, right? And she kind of looked, but as she got older, she really became taller taller and more attractive.

Speaker 1 And I think through time, you're talking about Soon Yi became taller and more attractive. Yeah, yeah.
I think through time,

Speaker 1 you know, after three or four years, he came to breakfast one day, and she, you know, she probably gave him pancakes or whatever. And he looked up and looked at her little, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Boink, boink, yeah, yeah, yeah, and he went, oh, well,

Speaker 1 you know what I mean? But how old was she when this started, when this relationship happened?

Speaker 1 She was what's how old was she, Andreas? Do you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think, I think she was legal, barely legal. Barely legal, 17, maybe at 17.
So, okay, and then they became lovers.

Speaker 1 But that's not the crazy one. What's the crazy one? Dylan.

Speaker 1 Dylan is the younger one who was his

Speaker 1 real adopted one. Okay.
Who was white? Okay. He adopted a white? Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Dylan was white. Expensive babies, huh? So it cost half a million dollars or whatever.
The Ching Ching is from bulk, 50 of them? $38.75. $14.95.

Speaker 1 Two payments. Yeah, two payments.
Well, you do two easy payments. $14.95.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 they come over

Speaker 1 in a ship. Yeah.
Like, you know.

Speaker 1 When you get a European one, it comes in a plane. Right.
This one comes like nine months later in a ship. Yeah, the European one comes.
A stork is actually carrying it in a box. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 When you get the Asian ones, it's like you have to open up a bunch of packaging, too.

Speaker 1 You do.

Speaker 1 And they're just like, you know, they're freeze-dried. They're stuffed in.

Speaker 1 And you put water on them. They're freeze-dried at first.
You put water on them, and then they float into.

Speaker 1 So, wait, this dude, he adopts the white one. We're in trouble.
This is bad. He adopts the white one.

Speaker 1 So he adopts the white one, and then he goes, and you know, he, she, so, you know, it always happens where, you know, she catches him doing stuff.

Speaker 1 Right. Right.
So the one thing that I think somebody caught him doing was

Speaker 1 having sex with his stepdaughter. No, no, no.
He was doing

Speaker 1 teaching her how to suck suck his finger.

Speaker 1 You know, that'll move. I don't care.
Yeah, it's real or not. Yeah, yeah.
No, it's real. Shut up.
Swear to God. Andres?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Yeah, yeah, in the first.
I swear to God. Farro is a little crazy, too.
So

Speaker 1 don't do that. Not right now.

Speaker 1 Excuse me. Excuse me? You know what this is? I know what this is.
That's because where he comes from. Justifies.

Speaker 1 They're pig-headed, misogynistic, bullheaded males. Isn't that right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Where do women belong, Andres? And the house. Oh, right.
That's how he feels. Yeah.
And the ratings of that documentary in Spain is zero. Zero.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because they watched two minutes of it and like, oh, fuck it. Yeah.
Yeah. This girl is crazy.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 he's like teaching her to tongue the tip of his finger. So gross.
Yeah. So gross.
Right. And I'm like, pretty gross.
And then he,

Speaker 1 so Mia's out of the house because they have this house in Connecticut.

Speaker 1 He comes over, right? Because it's like a weekend. Yeah.
And all the the kids are, he has so many kids. There's like 32,000 kids.
And they're so, you know, and they have three babysitters.

Speaker 1 So it's like, how do you keep track of all of them? Sure. Right.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 so he goes to the attic, right? You know this, right? Yeah. He goes to the attic with Dylan.

Speaker 1 And oh, is it Yucky? Well, I don't know what Yucky is. You know.
I think they're going to the attic. What are they doing up there? They're not looking for Christmas decorations.
No, the Ouija board.

Speaker 1 No, he's squeezing her tight. She's like, she's squeezing me tight.
And he was playing with my naughty nonce downstairs.

Speaker 1 And how old? She's what, 12? Gross. So what's going to happen to him now that this documentary is out? Nothing? You got a five-picture deal.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. So, yeah.
Yeah, Universal's like, pick him up. Pick him up.
No, I, well, I think, you know, because he used to make a movie a year. It's what's interesting.

Speaker 1 He hasn't done that for a long time. Yeah, but what's interesting about him is that,

Speaker 1 you know, this shit that, like, for instance, one of my favorite, I mean, if you go to my house, you know, the Woody Allen picture I have in my house? Have you seen that one?

Speaker 1 Do you know who Woody Allen is? No. Yeah.
Scoot the mic. Yeah.
No. How many? We've been doing this for 55 weeks, and the mic starts at the end of the day.
Because she doesn't know.

Speaker 1 Wait, you don't know who Woody Allen is? No, that's why I'm trying to look him up. Well, we'll pull it up here on the screen.

Speaker 1 You can see he was a filmmaker who made a bunch of very successful, very famous, very well-respected films.

Speaker 1 There he is right there. How does he look? Okay, just bring up that picture.
Will you click on just that photo and see how do you feel about that guy right there?

Speaker 1 How does that guy make you feel, Jules?

Speaker 1 Does he look like he would adopt an Asian girl and then make her his bride? Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. So I have a Woody Allen old school

Speaker 1 framed photo of Woody Allen in my house. Right.
So when I was watching the documentary, I called Kalila and I go, I screamed at her. I go, flip the, flip the fucking.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Take it down.
No, no, you don't take it down. Just flip it over.
Don't take it down. You know what I mean? Yeah.
So I was like, I'm a huge Woody Allen fan. Sure.
You know, I love

Speaker 1 Broadway Danny Rose. I love, but I have a lot of his later ones, like Husbands and Wives, Crimes and Misdemeanors.
But the movie that I loved, that I've seen with Kalila before, is Husbands and Wives.

Speaker 1 But what's interesting about that movie is halfway during that movie, right? Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 So Mia is like

Speaker 1 stopping by Woody. She has keys to his apartment.
And he's not home. So she just comes to stop by because she was in the area.

Speaker 1 And she sees naked photos of Soon Yee on his drawer, like on the top of a drawer, but not, he's a hustler, like

Speaker 1 barf. What? Barf.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And imagine, so she's in the middle of, she's the co-star of husbands and wives. And she sees those photos.
She sees the photos, right? She's like, this is going to be a good movie.

Speaker 1 I can't say anything. Yeah, this is, you know, that's her daughter, right? Gross.
Gross, right? How old was, and the daughter was young.

Speaker 1 So she she calls, she's like, you know, confronts him, whatever. And she goes, I think you need a two-week break.
So they hold production for two weeks, but then they keep shooting.

Speaker 1 So now if you watch husbands and wives, you know that somewhere in there,

Speaker 1 right? She, Mia, knows. Get out of time.
Yeah, yeah. So I think I want to watch, re-watch that movie.
It just throws it in a different context. I want to know.
Yeah, yeah. And how about we guess next?

Speaker 1 How about let's watch him next week? We'll try to guess what point that she knew we think we should.

Speaker 1 There's a moment where she questioned, because

Speaker 1 she leaves him in the movie. Yes.
So there's a moment where she questions their relationship.

Speaker 1 I hope to think that that's when. Well, maybe he's just a good filmmaker and he did that all for the sake of the film.

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 1 Interesting.

Speaker 1 He went fucking method on it. Super method.
Super method. Super method.
Yeah. So he was like, oh my god, what I do is

Speaker 1 I'll get, you know,

Speaker 1 I'll,

Speaker 1 Soon Yee, you know, she's, what, 17?

Speaker 1 She's got little breasts. Yeah,

Speaker 1 and I'll, you know,

Speaker 1 I'll just film her, you know, take photos of her vagina. I'll leave them all over her magic.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It'll just give up.

Speaker 1 And then me. Yeah, we'll discover them.
And then. And then, boom.
We got a picture. Oscar.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Wow.
Maybe it was Dean. Maybe.

Speaker 1 So you've never heard of this man before? No. Will you bring a picture of him and Sun Yee up so we can all take a look at there? There she is right there, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oof, tough. She kind of looks like you, Bob.
Oh, that's tough, man. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, but she does. Will you blow that up? Just stretch out so we can see a bigger one.
You look like him. I do.
That's me and you. That's you and I.
That's me and you. Yeah, Bad Friends 2032.

Speaker 1 If we keep doing this podcast, that's you and me.

Speaker 1 Bad Friends 2032.

Speaker 1 I didn't know he had a lazy eye. I never noticed that.
His left eye is lazy. He's like 90,000 years old.
But he... He's got one eye looking at the camera and the other one looking at Sunye.

Speaker 1 Look at that. He's like, don't you go nowhere, Soon.

Speaker 1 Don't you get back on that ship? Yeah, yeah. Don't you get back on? And she's looking kind of at him going, I'm not going to get back on that shit.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So all this shit, like in 92 and stuff, all this stuff comes out, right? Yeah. I remember when it first kind of came out of it.
He first came out, right?

Speaker 1 And he still, after that, did movies with Scarlett Johansson. And, you know, he did Blue Jasmine with Kate Blanchett.
Yeah. And he just kept going.
Yeah. You know, I think that now it's like

Speaker 1 the culture has completely changed. Totally.
Because look, look at a movie like Manhattan and also

Speaker 1 husbands and wives, right?

Speaker 1 He has in Manhattan, guess who his girlfriend is?

Speaker 1 She's in the movie, she's 17 years old.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she's a young girl, and he's 45 or whatever, right? Right? Right. In fucking Husbands and Wives, he's married to Mia Farrell, but he is a teacher, and he has an affair with a 16-year-old

Speaker 1 student they make out at her birthday party or whatever, right? There's all these themes in his movie. Signs, you would say.
One would say, Yeah, little crumbles. Yeah, yeah.
Breadcrumbs.

Speaker 1 But, you know, when you were watching it back in the day, you know, you think that

Speaker 1 why?

Speaker 1 Because now I look at it and I go, that's fucking crazy. I think it's culture.
But when I saw Manhattan, I was like, masterpiece. Well, yeah, I mean,

Speaker 1 it's beautiful. Right.
Right, the way it was shot. But it's also like the history of America, too, right?

Speaker 1 You think about how these guys, like, you talk to like my grandparents on how people in their generation met. They're like, he was 30 and going off to war.
I was nine and he met me at a bus stop.

Speaker 1 Right, right. It was just like the crazy

Speaker 1 back in the day, yeah. Like we were watching these, um, we watched the,

Speaker 1 we finished the Egyptian tombs documentary, you know? I've seen that one. It's phenomenal.
I re-watched some of it just because I was, I wanted to know. It's all right.
Get real.

Speaker 1 Get real. It's incredible.
I've seen tombs before. It's phenomenal.
Yeah, but the two, when you see, once you see one tomb, you've seen them all.

Speaker 1 What? A tomb? The discovery

Speaker 1 of the new tombs, that doesn't blow your mind and make you feel so. I'm going to be honest with you right now.
Can I say something to you right now? You don't like Egyptians. No, I loved Egyptians.

Speaker 1 I'm a a big Almanameta fan.

Speaker 1 I have all those albums. I love all the comedy albums.
You know what I mean? Oh, sure.

Speaker 1 9-11, here I am. You know what I mean? That's one of them.
9-11 again.

Speaker 1 9-11 again. Right? I'm killing, literally.

Speaker 1 Literally, 9-11, one more time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 no, I love Egyptians, but

Speaker 1 they will discover more tombs in the future. Forever.
Yeah, and then you're going to be able to get the best. And then you're going to be the white guy.
Wow, remarkable. Unbelievable.
It is.

Speaker 1 Architecture. And wow, the way they mummify these corpses and

Speaker 1 the deities

Speaker 1 inscribed inside the walls. How many?

Speaker 1 How many Koreans have they found in?

Speaker 1 We don't do that because

Speaker 1 you don't matter.

Speaker 1 You don't matter. You don't matter.
You're mad. You're dead, you're dead.
No, you're no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you're back to Woody Allen. Anyway, yeah, so Woody Allen, the documentary.

Speaker 1 You know what, Boomer, I had to go get dental work, dude. I got you, Rachel.
We're going to have to film. I'm going to have to get my

Speaker 1 wisdoms removed.

Speaker 1 I have kept them in my whole life. You do? They never said I needed him out.
Did they hurt now? No, but he was like, we got to take them out. Now I'm shifting my teeth now.

Speaker 1 Now my teeth are being cut. I don't want them in.
I want them in. Are yours out? Yeah, I have no teeth.
Well, yours just naturally fell. You want to see something? Because of drugs.

Speaker 1 You want to see something? Look.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's repulsive. I can't believe it.

Speaker 1 But this is my point.

Speaker 1 It's the wizard. I took them all out.
Did you get your wisdom teeth removed? No. Did they do that over there?

Speaker 1 Do you guys have dentists? What do they do over there? I don't know. No, what they do is they put their head, you know what I mean, on a slab.
A rock slab.

Speaker 1 Yeah, take another rock. They stick the rock in the mouth, right? And they take a little hammer, right?

Speaker 1 Right, like that. You'll fix.
You fix.

Speaker 1 You have them, huh? Yeah, and it's shifting my teeth. Yeah, they try to make you take them out at your age because it's a lot easier.
Apparently, it's going to be more painful.

Speaker 1 And we'll have to get me on. Do you want to get a dentist, too?

Speaker 1 Is that what you want us also as well? No. Huh? What else do you want? Nothing.
You ungrateful.

Speaker 1 Hey, hey, hey.

Speaker 1 We love rude. We love rude.
We love rude. No, No, but I went to the dentist and he was like, oh man, the teeth thing, yada, yada.
And it made me flashback to when we were watching the Egyptian thing.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, these guys still got all their fucking teeth 3,000 years later. They were in pain all the time.
Good. They were in pain all the time.
Do you really think so?

Speaker 1 I never saw the Egyptian thing. It's impossible.
I know you did. I know you did.
I can tell. I can tell because you were making it up.
Yeah, yeah. But I gave you credit for it.
Is it good?

Speaker 1 It's it's honestly, it's unbelievable. Yeah.
To watch them discover something. I saw, and actually, can I just say something?

Speaker 1 I saw maybe two episodes with Kalila, and I was watching it, I was playing video games on my phone while I was watching it. So I remember them,

Speaker 1 I'm being real, right? They discover this tomb, right? It's one guy, right? He was like a. Well, there's one guy and his whole family is in there.
Yeah, his whole family, but it's one guy's thing.

Speaker 1 And he was like a, he wasn't the king, but he was like a,

Speaker 1 not a priest, but something like that. He was a priest.
Yeah, yeah. He was.
And it's beautiful. I saw it, I swear to God.
No, I can tell you.

Speaker 1 I saw it, right? But at one point, I just went, I just kind of went back into my game and I never went back up. I get that i've done that because no it was that uninteresting to me

Speaker 1 okay because it's like once they once you see it right yeah

Speaker 1 cool oh how ancient but you're learning how amazing it is that they discovered amazing that this was the first finding in this episode the first finding ever ever ever of a lion cub being um

Speaker 1 mummified. They've never found a lion cub.
And it was incredible to watch the reaction of these scientists who've spent their entire career dedicated to this thing.

Speaker 1 They're like, we've only found cats and people. The Egyptians love cats.
These motherfuckers were wild for cats. They found a salamander once.

Speaker 1 Did they? Yeah. A mummified salamander.
A mummified salamander?

Speaker 1 In Egypt, right? 50 bucks says she doesn't know what a salamander is.

Speaker 1 50 bucks. Egyptian named Muhammad Toot.

Speaker 1 They found his thing. Muhammad Toot? Yeah, and they found these little tiny...
Just listen for once. And they found his mummified body.

Speaker 1 And around his body, right, they had these little tiny, like, rock pods. huh? Right?

Speaker 1 Obviously, you know, archaeologists are like, What is this? Right. Say,

Speaker 1 you know what I mean? And they open it up,

Speaker 1 and there you see

Speaker 1 what is that? A little seller man,

Speaker 1 and he's going, I died 9,000 million years ago. 3,000.
Who gives a fuck? And you know what? Dark alegis did? He went, No! And he fucking threw it on the ground. Like, I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 1 That's what he did.

Speaker 1 They used to get buried with important stuff or stuff that they wanted to take to the afterlife. What would you get buried with, Rudy? If they said you're dying tomorrow, we got to bury you.

Speaker 1 What are we burying you with?

Speaker 1 My dogs.

Speaker 1 Okay, so

Speaker 1 we have to kill your dogs? We're saying you die, not the dogs.

Speaker 2 No, they have to be with me.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Morbid.
Yeah, you don't.

Speaker 1 What I would do, just in that case, if I was an addition, I'd be like, if I pass,

Speaker 1 when my dogs eventually pass,

Speaker 1 put them in there. I wouldn't go, if I die, kill everyone else at the same time.
I want them all at the same time. What do you want to be buried with, Bob? I want to be

Speaker 1 because they believed you got to take that, whatever that was, into the afterlife. What would you want? I'd just be buried then.
Nothing. You wouldn't take anything with you?

Speaker 1 Because I need glass to do my thing. I'm talking about today.
If you got buried today. Oh, today.
I'll tell you what I'll do today. Okay.
Thank you so much for that.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much for that. You got to lay up, right? You got to get up.
Yeah. What I would do is

Speaker 1 I would be, I have to be dressed in like a 1940s tuxedo. Like a three hundred.
With a top hat. With a top hat.
Okay. Not be creole.
Do you want a cane? Yeah, the whole thing, right?

Speaker 1 And I need you to put me in a gigantic jar of formaldehyde. Oh, you want to be, okay.
So I want to be floating

Speaker 1 with the cane, the top hat. Right.
Right.

Speaker 1 And I want little buttons,

Speaker 1 right? So if you like, and it'll say like, Andrew.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? And you'll press it. You'll come to my, you know what I mean? Of course I'll come.
Memorial or whatever.

Speaker 1 and I'll go what's up dude? That was fun bad friends

Speaker 1 That's all you would say

Speaker 1 all the time we spent together What's up dude? That's funny because there's there's I how many people in I know so many people

Speaker 1 have so many buttons you wouldn't give everybody a button no we'd give a I would give Andreas a button you would give him a button I would go

Speaker 1 you did all right

Speaker 1 Or something like that, right? I love you fancy yeah lovely fancy I would give uh everyone a button what would Kalaza Kalila's button say? Oh, be long. It'd be really sweet.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't do that voice either.

Speaker 1 What would your brother's button be? Oh, it would be probably long. That would be long? Who'd be the shortest button?

Speaker 1 Who would get granted a button but be the shortest message? Eric Griffin.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying, Wood? What? Sup.

Speaker 1 That's it. Sup.
Sup. You know me.
He's like, oh, man, this motherfucker don't really have my pain this motherfucker. Because I would have seen him complain.
Yeah, he would have been.

Speaker 1 If I was in heaven, I would love to press Eric right. Sup.
And I wouldn't see him complain. And that's all I got, baby.
I know, you would do that.

Speaker 1 He'd be so mad.

Speaker 1 What would you do? I don't know what I would get buried with. I was thinking that's how you'd be buried.
I think if I was going to be buried with stuff that I want to take to the afterlife,

Speaker 1 probably like

Speaker 1 a golf club. I want to be able to hit golf balls in the afterlife.

Speaker 1 I could play golf in heaven all day.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd just be your golf club and your Confederate flag, you fucking piece of Confederate flag? Yeah.
The Union Jack, you mean? My number one flag in my house.

Speaker 1 People are always like, I can't find your address. I'm saying, look for the union flag on the roof, bro.

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Speaker 1 Do people recognize you in public at all? No. Like she's going back to school now.
Oh, how's school kid? Right, so she goes back to school. She goes in.
She's friends with these two twins, you said?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Right? They're your friends? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So you wear a mask the whole time?

Speaker 1 And there's social distancing in the classrooms?

Speaker 1 In the classroom, but outside, no one is doing it. Yeah, but you're outside.

Speaker 1 Are you doing it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do they make fun of you? Like, oh, look at the fucking foreigner wearing a mask? No, they don't. They don't? No.

Speaker 1 So do they, so the two twins that you're friends with,

Speaker 1 they're two guys. Yeah.
Right? And you knew them last year before the pandemic. Yeah.
So when you came into class the first time this time, what did they say to you?

Speaker 1 This is hi.

Speaker 1 They're not.

Speaker 1 Just let it just let it. This is what I have to deal with every day.
So just let it. What are their names? Alex and Jonathan.
And which one do you like more?

Speaker 1 I like both. Can you tell the difference between the two? No.
Yeah, because Alex is shorter and Jonathan is. Oh, so they're fraternal? Yeah, and then Jonathan has a red hair and Alex has blonde hair.

Speaker 1 They're not identical. No.
Oh, so you're not going to be able to do that. Oh, well then.
Then that's no fun. That's no fun at all.
Then why do you even hang out with both of them?

Speaker 1 You just pick the one you like and then move on.

Speaker 1 With twins, you kind of have to hang out with both of them usually because you're like, I don't I can't make the other one feel bad because it's the same guy twice.

Speaker 1 You know? Like the Sklar brothers. Which one do I like more? I don't know.
I'm not allowed to pick. Yeah.
But

Speaker 1 she also been driving my car to school. I know.
I'm really happy that you're driving. And tell them what you did today.

Speaker 1 I got gas and then I paid

Speaker 1 it, but then when I. Oh, you paid for the gas? Yeah, and then

Speaker 1 I thought it was already full, so when I went back inside the car, it still had two bars.

Speaker 1 Wait a minute, you put gas in the car, and how much did you put in money-wise?

Speaker 1 I used my card. How much did it say you charged? $49.50.

Speaker 1 $49 only got you two.

Speaker 1 Just Just think about it. The logic of it.

Speaker 1 Think of the logic. I'm not understanding.

Speaker 1 Let me just follow me and I'll say that. Speak for her.

Speaker 1 She goes to the car.

Speaker 1 She gets out.

Speaker 1 She puts the thing in. Right? She puts the credit card in.
Right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 there's no way it's $49.50. I'll tell you why the logic of that is it's a Prius.
$29 a month. Right, it's high.

Speaker 1 So the $49. Was a guy from before.
A guy from before.

Speaker 1 her credit card was never charged. Of course not.
Okay. So she has the thing in the thing, right?

Speaker 1 She's in the car now.

Speaker 1 I don't know how long she waits. Probably 15 minutes.
20, 30 minutes. 15, 20 minutes, right? Yeah.
That's

Speaker 1 how long she thinks that takes. Half of this episode.
Yeah. Yeah.
She's going to say, yeah, she's in the car. She goes out.

Speaker 1 She looks at the, oh, 49, 50, whatever. Must be full.
Must be full. Puts the thing in the thing.

Speaker 1 You know, screws it back in, gets in the car. She's driving now.
How come two bars? Oh, because

Speaker 1 you got to squeeze the.

Speaker 1 Oh, you got to pump the gas, actually. Pump it out.
I did.

Speaker 1 No. No.
Did you feel it? You can feel the liquid coming through. Yeah, and I even saw liquid going out.
What do you mean? It's not see-through. I don't know what exactly you're talking about.

Speaker 1 It was an Apple gas station.

Speaker 1 It was clear. Yeah.
Space gray.

Speaker 1 You didn't see the liquid coming out.

Speaker 1 No. You didn't.

Speaker 1 Your credit card was not charged. No.
Yeah. Right? No.
It wasn't charged. You didn't even ring it in.
You didn't press the fucking regular. Did you press?

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, you didn't.
Which one are the three buttons? Low, medium, or high? Yeah. Or did you do diesel? Diesel.
Yeah, she did diesel. Your car's going to be dies.

Speaker 1 You said unleaded. That's exactly what it is.
Unleaded. Yeah.
Did you press unleaded? Yeah. Yeah.
So what you're telling me is this.

Speaker 1 You had ghost gasoline. Yeah, ghost gas.
That car's going to run on the hope. You had ghost gas.
What you're telling me is this, is that we can sue sue Shell.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, we should sue them. Yeah, sue them, right? For ghost gas.
No, right. So, what do you think the logical thing is? That you didn't do it right? I didn't do it right.

Speaker 1 What? I said I didn't do it right, so you have to teach me.

Speaker 1 This is what I have to deal with.

Speaker 1 I taught her how to tie shoes. But you're such a good actor.
Well, they don't teach her. And to flip lights, she came to, I don't know how it works.
You lift it up like this. Come in.

Speaker 1 What, did that sun inside? Yes. We got to teach you how to pump some gas.
That's fine. What are the things you need to learn? They don't teach you this kind of stuff, I guess.

Speaker 1 No, because in the Philippines, there's like a worker who does it.

Speaker 1 Right. We have that here in certain states in the United States.
They pump gas for you. We don't do that here in California.
No. Yeah, no.

Speaker 1 There's always a guy. And does he wash your windows, too? Yeah.
How much do you pay him? Two dollars. Two dollars.
Okay. That's a lot for them.
Is it? I don't know. I don't.
Half a balut.

Speaker 1 Here, go get yourself that balut. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you. To less than $2 to pump the gas, clean the windows.
But now you've got to worry about all sorts of stuff. What if the tires go flat?

Speaker 1 What happens if you get a flat tire? Do you know about that? Have you taught her about any of the stuff? What if a tire goes flat? What's going to happen? Call a tequila.

Speaker 1 Okay, so, okay, look, you're driving on the freeway,

Speaker 1 and then

Speaker 1 tire starting. What do you do? What the first thing you do?

Speaker 1 You slam on the brakes, you push on the gas. You slowly push on the brakes, and then you go to the right side.
Oh, someone took a driving gas. She has a license, you fuckface.

Speaker 1 It doesn't sound like it. Apparently, take a filling out.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna fill gases. That's super important.
I know they should. They should.
Yeah, they should.

Speaker 1 They don't teach you anything about it. They just teach you how to follow their arbitrary rules, like stop signs.
Don't stop at stop signs. You know that, right? You don't have to.
You don't have to.

Speaker 1 California law. It's so funny because when I'm driving, because she just took the classes, everything I do, she's like, but Uncle Tito, you're not supposed to.
What do you think about it?

Speaker 1 Oh, she knows all the particulars. And it's like, I don't, you know, they're just suggestions.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 really, for me. Yeah, they're just saying, hey, maybe, maybe, maybe do this.
Yeah. No, thanks.
Like, all the stop signs should have a question mark. Stop.
No, thanks. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And just keep going. Yeah.
Your friends from another podcast were talking shit about you guys. These guys won't give up.

Speaker 1 I heard about it. Yeah, these guys won't give up.
I heard about it.

Speaker 1 Oh, I wanted to bring up this to you guys. I don't know if you saw Bad Friends.

Speaker 1 They fired some shots at you guys. It was actually a response to Theo calling out Bobby, calling out sleepy.
It was a response.

Speaker 1 You started the war.

Speaker 1 You know how you can tell he has an eye that just wanders somewhere. What about these two douches are doing, right? Is that they're trying to provoke a war with real warriors.

Speaker 1 Right, with real warriors. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 They're trying to provoke a war with true warriors.

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 1 We have mental capacities. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Here's the thing. You and I say we're stupid all the time.
Yeah. We do that as a fun.
We go, we're dumb and we're not that smart.

Speaker 1 These two guys? Yeah. Honestly? They said two guys.
I'm not kidding. Pound for pound.
Be united. The dumbest people I've ever met in my life.
I doubt that.

Speaker 1 It was a lot more of the same of that. Just taking shots.

Speaker 1 And who are these guys?

Speaker 1 I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 Look,

Speaker 1 are they trying to do a shitty version of King of this thing? Pause it. What?

Speaker 1 Bring up the numbers. Who's doing better? Don't do that.
Don't do that.

Speaker 1 We don't want want to do that. All right.
Stop. We don't want to do that.
But also, yeah. Bring up the numbers.
Wait, that hits Steele. No, no, no.
Don't want to go down that. No, no, don't.

Speaker 1 But also, because we could have a bad week. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Bring up the numbers.

Speaker 1 I understand. I understand.
No, we shouldn't. Because we know the numbers.
I know they're better. And it feels good.
It feels good. Bring up the numbers.

Speaker 1 But honestly, but my point is that they're great.

Speaker 1 They are. I'll admit, one of these guys is a great comet.

Speaker 1 You know, pause it. It's tough to.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What do you think he's talking about? No, but you know what I mean, yeah?

Speaker 1 The numbers are right. But who do you think he's talking about? He's saying that you're a great comic, I'm not? I don't know, I don't know.
Yeah, yeah. But he's doing this to try to divide us.

Speaker 1 I know what he's trying to do. I don't care.
I think you're a way better comic than I am. I think you're a one.
Let's play the video. Okay, go ahead.
This good game. By the way, good test.

Speaker 1 And here's the deal with what they don't realize is that there's nothing that can destroy this. It's a bun for life.
Yeah, yeah. It's so thick.
And these two.

Speaker 1 These two out of work reality stars. Go ahead.
What else, dude? Look, these are great guys. You know, I remember I was there for Bobby, and Bobby doesn't like to talk about this.

Speaker 1 But when he

Speaker 1 Bobby, a lot of people do not know, auditioned to be in

Speaker 1 Find It.

Speaker 1 Be

Speaker 1 able to say

Speaker 1 I don't want to get the wrong E's, but I want to say Japanese or

Speaker 1 Koreanese. Koreanese.
And he, it was a,

Speaker 1 what's the group of, it's like the people and they can't, they're, it's kind of smaller and they're getting older, but they, they, they're trying to get that lady at the

Speaker 1 diamond mine or something I'm talking about. No.
Uh, seven dwarfs. Seven dwarfs.
Oh.

Speaker 1 So Bobby auditioned to be in that dude, and he was like the eighth dwarf or something, Bok Choy.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 didn't get it, bro. And I remember reading the fucking scripts with him, and his, the lines were so easy, you know? it was like i'll wake her up you know just like

Speaker 1 yeah basic shit man

Speaker 1 a daniel day lewis script you're saying

Speaker 1 and he went in there and just bombed it you know just fucking could not get it right yeah and um and i was there for him after that and so i mean i have like a long history

Speaker 1 the history with the other guy um guys i Because of this, I checked out your INDB pages just to see, you know, who has worked more in it oh who's worked more and it's kind of interesting if you guys want to see I'd love to see

Speaker 1 thank you I have never I've never looked never looked either all right let's see

Speaker 1 so let's see

Speaker 1 whoa 75 credits there and was that who is that me yeah that's you and

Speaker 1 he's 15

Speaker 1 that's close not yeah that's pretty close what is 75 minus 15 15

Speaker 1 50 more things 50 also what things because I think he is what are some of the things films and a little bit of 50 more things well he's probably done some really big stuff.

Speaker 1 Namcar Night Race official music video. That one was pretty heavy.
That's pretty good. Burning Man Dan 2.

Speaker 1 Great movie. And they should have won an Oscar, but he got snubbed.
I can't believe they got snubbed. They got snubbed.

Speaker 1 And, yeah, some other bangers. There's some other bangers.

Speaker 1 Oh, he did Bad Babies Music Video. That's also pretty awesome.
Go up there. That's pretty good.
Oh, but look what it says. Bad Baby's Music Video.
Child Predator Pedophile. That's what he played.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 Cool.

Speaker 1 And then you can see also Andrew versus Brendan. Yeah.
Okay, let's see. I did.
How many things? 30 things. Pretty good.
One.

Speaker 1 One thing. That's very funny.
But the one thing he did was great. It was phenomenal.
Yeah, what was it? Fighter and the kids. 3D.
3D.

Speaker 1 Anyway, these guys are, we love those guys. They're up and coming.
They're on their way. They're new.

Speaker 1 So just let them let a couple more years and then they may one day get to our level. It'll pop.
They might get to our level. It'll pop.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll pop.
They're very good dudes.

Speaker 1 We love them both. Shout out to Johnny Schwab and Jason.
To Schwab and Baum. Schwab and Baum.
Schwab and Baum. We love those dudes, man.
What else they got to say?

Speaker 1 You want to see the rest of whatever they got to say? Not really, but let's keep going. By the way, let's make it known again.
They started this bullshit. We didn't come with them.

Speaker 1 But you know what it is? Because, you know. We got a lot of people that are trying to start shit with us, including Chrissy Chaos and

Speaker 1 Sal Volcano over there. They sent us a bag of shit, and we have our retaliation on the table.
You know what we are going to do to them, right?

Speaker 1 We decided as a group that we want to give them a little slice of home, a little spice of life.

Speaker 1 So we've got some buzzers. I've got my trimmer here.
I think we give them a bag of our pubes. What do you say, kiddo? Oh, I have a lot of pubes right now.
I'd love to shave them.

Speaker 1 All right, Rudy, you got to leave the room for this inappropriate bit that we're about to do, obviously. I'd love to shave them.
So please get out of the room. Rudy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're shaving pubes now. Yeah, obviously.
Insane. Get out.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Okay, come on in here and bring it. What are the shavers? Do you even know who this is, by the way? He's great.

Speaker 1 Do you know his name? Randy Johnson. Randy? Yeah, right.
You think his name's Randy? Yeah, he's the best. It's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my entire life.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, so how can we make sure we get this in the bag? How do we get it in the bag? I don't know. Hand.
You put it on the table and you put it in your hand.

Speaker 1 How? I'll show you. All right, let's show.
Well, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 You got to open the bag first somehow. No, you put it on the table and you scoop it up and put it in the bag.
And then you shuffle it in the bag? Yeah. Good call.
Let's. Okay, go ahead.
You go. Let's.

Speaker 1 Should we do it the same time? Hold on. Hold on.
We should do it at the same time, Bob. Hold on.
Yeah. All right.
Hold on, Bob. Hold on, please.
Rudy, close your eyes. Rudy, don't go.

Speaker 1 Rudy, you're not allowed to look.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Look at how Harry. Look at how Harry is.
Oh, my God. I've never seen orange pubes like that before.
I hate it.

Speaker 1 It's a lot, right?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 We should mix it. No, we should mix the orange and the black in one bag.
Oh, you're right. That's funny.
Yeah, that that way they get it together because we are.

Speaker 1 We're a unit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Great.

Speaker 1 Gross.

Speaker 1 So many pubes.

Speaker 1 It hurts. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. So, um...

Speaker 1 Pubes everywhere.

Speaker 1 Let's do this as a ritual.

Speaker 1 There's an old Korean ritual.

Speaker 1 You eat one little hair, I eat

Speaker 1 one of your hairs. What ritual is that? It's a Korean wood ritual.
Is it really? Because I feel like I've never heard of that before. So I eat one of your hairs.

Speaker 1 It'll bond us for life.

Speaker 1 I have to eat one of your pubes, and you have to eat one of mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And we have to stick it. See it, see it on the tongue.

Speaker 1 I'll go first. Okay.
All right.

Speaker 1 Look at the fluff there. There's on my

Speaker 1 pubes on my phone. Oh, dude, please.
This is. That's a lot.
Honestly, this looks like

Speaker 1 Muppet hair. Please don't do it.
It looks like Muppet hair. Don't do it.
Don't do it.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Oh, God.

Speaker 1 How does it taste?

Speaker 1 Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Get some.

Speaker 1 Look at how long that one is. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Stick it in your mouth.

Speaker 1 Stick it in your mouth. No, stick it in your mouth.
No, I didn't see you do it. It's in.
No,

Speaker 1 you threw it away, dude. I put it in my mouth.
That's fucking bullshit. I put it in my mouth.
I'll give you a piece. I'll give give you a piece.
No! I'll stick it in your mouth. No! Yes! No!

Speaker 1 No! Yeah, I have to see it.

Speaker 1 No, give me your mouth. No, look at how many cubes that is.
I will put it all in. You didn't put any in your mouth.
You did. This is like first comedian.

Speaker 1 It's like what? First comedian. Camera's on.
Camera's on. Okay.

Speaker 1 No, that's so many. Put your fucking hand up.
The camera's on, dude. Don't give a fucking tick, dude.
Let's see what I show business.

Speaker 1 There we go.

Speaker 1 All right, let's mix them together. There we go.

Speaker 1 I'll just do it in my bag.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah. Send your bag over to me.

Speaker 1 So we're going to give those guys a gift. Oh, my God.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 I know. They shaved so close.

Speaker 1 I don't have a lot here, huh? I've got a ton. I told you, I was growing for a while.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What is that going to do? That's not.

Speaker 1 We should put shit in it and come.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I'll do whatever you want to do, bud. It's a lot.
A lot of poobs coming out of me.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's get this off the desk.

Speaker 1 Kind of want to shave all of it, though. Go ahead.

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Speaker 1 Black Friday deals are going on all month long save up to 45 off site-wide plus an additional 10 off every order right now at blinds.com rules and restrictions apply what do you think about this you think we came from monkeys oh yeah you do oh yeah

Speaker 1 how long how many years

Speaker 1 billions billions of years we work but then why are monkeys still around because they're starting to evolve as well and so how long well how long will it take them a billion years and then what will we have another human species and then we will evolve into something else what do you think we're going to evolve into well i think like our our our, like, our thumbs will not be there anymore.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know what I mean? I think that eventually we're going to have like controls.
We'll be half cyborg for sure. Half cyborg?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, because we're going to start putting, they're going to start putting stuff in our bodies like nano, nan, nano, nanotechnology,

Speaker 1 nanobots. You believe that? Yeah, we'll have like our credit cards and, you know, all our information stored in our body within chips.
I don't, I don't like that chips.

Speaker 1 So then when we walk by, you know, we get, we go to CVS, right? There'll be no

Speaker 1 transactions.

Speaker 1 Beep. You know what I mean? But then it'll go, you know, zero.
What was the name of that movie?

Speaker 1 Justin Timberlake was in it, where you traded lifeline numbers. What was that called? Time.
Time. Time, yeah, yeah.
But it'll be something like that. But then you'll get robbed.

Speaker 1 People will stick and be like, give me your arm. And then they'll grab you for your chip.
No. You don't think that's a possibility?

Speaker 1 Because I think inevitably it'll be like Star Trek where we will have no crime. You think in the future there's not going to be any crime? I don't think there's going to be need for money.

Speaker 1 What's going to replace money?

Speaker 1 Our quest for knowledge and growth. What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 If you would have said digital money, I would have made more sense, but Bitcoin and stuff.

Speaker 1 Eventually, we will evolve as a species and we will have no need for the things that even sex we won't have need for. That's insane.
It's an innate human being. No, but we will evolve above it.

Speaker 1 You think we'll go beyond sex? Yeah. That we'll just have babies.
How?

Speaker 1 Just by artificial insemination? Yeah, through technology. Machines.
Machines. We'll take an egg, they'll take the sperm, they'll put it outside of the body.
Yeah, yeah. It'll happen quickly.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah, you'll be able to grow a baby in like two weeks.
Well, you know, you can already pick the baby. You can pick like the...

Speaker 1 What's that? Look that up. What's that called? You can pick like the genetic.
You can pick the genetics of the baby. You can choose like eye color now.

Speaker 1 You can go into like all sorts of crazy specifics. Yeah.
For millions of dollars, you can pick what your baby is going to look like. Would you do that?

Speaker 1 No. You want to gamble? You want to roll the dice? No, I'll tell tell you why, because, you know, there are things about me that

Speaker 1 to the lay person or, you know, an outside observer will go, that's not good. Or, you know what I mean? I don't like that.
Or

Speaker 1 that way, I don't like the way that looks or I don't like how that human is behaving. But to me, there are specific, you know, Bobby Lee traits that are my own.
Yeah. Right.

Speaker 1 And I would love to pass, if me and Kalila had a baby, I would love to see what our mixtures would do. Right.
And maybe our kid will definitely be sensitive and fucked up and wild. Right.

Speaker 1 Or the opposite. You don't know.
We don't know. Right.
It could have taken on, you know, maybe more like my dad,

Speaker 1 more withdrawn. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know with Kalila, but whatever it is, you know, our kid will be

Speaker 1 our kid and it'll be interesting. The mistakes will be worth it.

Speaker 1 I think so, man. Yeah.
I think that, you know, I've been watching a lot of baby videos on YouTube. What do you you mean, just like baby goofy?

Speaker 1 Yeah, like baby is like farting or laughing and stuff like that. Yeah, I mean.
Because you're baby hungry right now? I'm not baby hungry. I've just been

Speaker 1 looking at dogs.

Speaker 1 Dogs and babies one and the same. Well, I was looking at dogs, and then you know how you look at dogs for a while, and then all of a sudden, you know, they'll suggest a baby one.
That's what I mean.

Speaker 1 Like baby. Yeah.
And all of a sudden, you know.

Speaker 1 15 hours later, you're looking at aliens. You know what I mean? Right.
You know what I mean? Conspiracy theories. Yeah, aliens built the pyramids.
Yeah, went on the business.

Speaker 1 And then you watch Tombs again, and it's all sickle.

Speaker 1 But I've been watching a lot of baby videos, and I kind of go,

Speaker 1 I think that's interesting. And I think I want to try.
You want to make one? Fuck yeah, man. You do.
Yeah. Kalila was on my show and we talked about it.
I don't know what it is.

Speaker 1 We talked about you guys making a baby. What'd she say?

Speaker 1 She's not into it. I know she's not.

Speaker 1 I know she's not. No, she is.

Speaker 1 Maybe she is. No, because we talk about it.

Speaker 1 Sometimes she's in. Sometimes she's in.

Speaker 1 Sometimes she's out. Sometimes she feels like a nut.
Sometimes she don't.

Speaker 1 You don't like babies at all, right, Jules? No, I don't. Would you like our baby? No.

Speaker 1 I'll be kind. I'll be kind.

Speaker 1 Said the serial killer.

Speaker 1 I'll be kind. Wait, so you won't like love it? No.

Speaker 1 No, I will care, but I'll still hate babies. So interesting.
What is it about babies you don't like?

Speaker 1 You don't like their little fucking head, their big heads, or you don't like the way they cry, or what is it? I don't like everything about them.

Speaker 1 You don't like anything about them?

Speaker 1 Like there's nothing cute about them. I'll tell you why because she was the oldest in her clan.
Right, and she doesn't want to. And she had to raise little ones.
Yeah, it's annoying.

Speaker 1 And she was much older, right?

Speaker 1 Me? Yeah, I'm old. Yeah, like your two brothers, like your youngest brother, how old is he?

Speaker 1 Six. Six, so you were like, what, you were 12 when they were born? Yeah, 12.
Yeah, 12.

Speaker 1 So it's like you know so she's like and then her mom's working her desk so she's like can you look after and then you know this is a 12 year old you got your childhood taken away from you yeah yeah yeah that's why that's that's why you hate kids yeah yeah god the way that we can damage kids is so sad just by making them be babysitters huh

Speaker 1 yeah it's like it's little things it's like you know i would have to take a course On how to raise a kid? Yeah. What not to do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because look, everyone's going to make mistakes, but you still live the life of a teenage boy, so it would be tough for you.

Speaker 1 Like a baby schedule? You play video games from...

Speaker 1 Bro, bro.

Speaker 1 Stop. Bro, bro, bro, bro.
First of all,

Speaker 1 if I knew a baby was coming,

Speaker 1 I would do some

Speaker 1 internal

Speaker 1 voyages within myself. In what regard? In terms of like...

Speaker 1 You stop drinking Red Bull, start smoking, stop playing video games. We had certain things that I would have to change.
What would you change?

Speaker 1 Fuck, man. I would

Speaker 1 only

Speaker 1 play video games during the day. Don't believe it.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm just telling you. Okay.
I would no more Red Bull.

Speaker 1 You'd quit Red Bull. I would drink just coffee.
Like black coffee. I drink black coffee at home, do I not? Right?

Speaker 1 And complete smoking completely forever. You'd stop smoking.
100%. Like that.
100%. I hate the documentary about the

Speaker 1 murder of the Mormons. Mormons? We didn't watch it.
We were going to watch it last night. All these things I want to talk to you.
I saw it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but we can't give away anything that people haven't seen yet. What if they haven't seen it? Yeah, it was fucking crazy.
Mormons have always been that secret.

Speaker 1 But this is different. This is some.
This guy. Do we have water? I have a pube in my throat.
Yeah, we need some water. I have like

Speaker 1 orange in my throat.

Speaker 1 Tell me about the Mormons. The documentary is about Mormon artifacts.
Thank you. Thank you.
You know what I mean? Like

Speaker 1 wash down these pubes real fast. Yeah, me too.

Speaker 1 Like, old Mormon literature documents.

Speaker 1 The Mormon thing was found, right? Didn't he find it in a hat? Isn't that what it was? No, man. Joseph Smith.
Joseph Smith didn't find it.

Speaker 1 There was a Morani or whatever the fucking God came down. A Morani? That's his name, Moroni.
Here comes Morani. A Morani came down.
A Morani. A Moranai, right?

Speaker 1 And Joseph Sleep was sleeping in a cabin. I don't know exactly what it about.
I think this is what happened. I think I'm right.
There was a glow through the window. Right.
Right.

Speaker 1 And I think Moroni stook his hand through the window and did like a little, wake up. Hey.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's what you do when you're a spirit.
Hey, you can't just show up. You got to put a hand through something and go, hey,

Speaker 1 right. So Joseph Smith went, you know, when you see a spiritual hand through your cabin window, you get a little scared.
I'm sorry. It's happened to me three times, right?

Speaker 1 Especially from a nap. Big time.
You're like, what the fuck? Right? Oh, a spirit. Yeah, yeah, a spirit, right? But then you realize, oh, it's Moroni, right?

Speaker 1 so then um so joseph smith walked out of the thing and morani was standing there and going well hey hey

Speaker 1 yeah i mean i'm moroni right moron moroni whatever and joseph smith is probably i mean if that happened you'd be urinating yourself yeah you piss yourself a little bit but you're trying to act cool because it's god hey god yeah yeah but you're really peeing have you pissed yourself yeah he would know though right i did right and he goes hey check this out and they go into the forest now i i for me

Speaker 1 you know if morani said said, come in the forest, I would have to ask, what are we doing first? Because I'm not going in there. We could always do it in my kitchen.
Yeah, right. You have to ask.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Where are we going? But Morani, he's noble. Yeah, but Joseph's the ding-dong.
So he's like, the

Speaker 1 go. So he went in there.
And I guess Morani

Speaker 1 took a shovel.

Speaker 1 Yes. Because I guess they had shovels back then, right? Yeah, of course they did.
A shovel. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you just start digging. Yeah.
And obviously Joseph's like, am I going to die? Are you going to bury me? Or whatever. And then there was these old tablets.
Tablets, yeah. Do you remember those?

Speaker 1 Yeah, they were buried. They're buried.
Yeah. And he goes, this is, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 It was left out of the Bible. You know what I mean? I forgot to put this in the Bible.
It just fell out. Right.
God was rushing and he's like, binding the Bible together. Right.

Speaker 1 And he forgot to say, the oldest four pages in my office.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what happened. Yeah.
And he also, thousands of years later, decided. Well, he just remembered.
Oh, you think that's what it is?

Speaker 1 Well, God was sitting around with a friend and he was having a conversation. Yeah, yeah.
and he was talking, and he was like, Oh, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 He had a housekeeper cleaning his office. Yeah.
Right?

Speaker 1 And underneath the couch,

Speaker 1 right? And he did four pages. God? God, what are these four pages? I suck up your pages.

Speaker 1 He's Mexican even in heaven. They have to be.
I suck up your pages, God. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so then. What happened, Esmeralda? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I suck up the four pages of the writing the Bible.

Speaker 1 And then he went, whoa, whoa, whoa, holy fuck. God probably did.
Holy fuck!

Speaker 1 He's freaking out because he's already, they've already published it. It's down there.
It's down there. They've read it

Speaker 1 for thousands of years. Yeah.
You go, wow, fuck.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and

Speaker 1 he goes, what do I do?

Speaker 1 Just Morani.

Speaker 1 That's what he said. Morani's like.
Yes, boss. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 What do you need? You gotta go down.

Speaker 1 To earth? Yeah. Oh, boy.
Okay. And

Speaker 1 I'll make these gold.

Speaker 1 It'll be heavy, God. I'll just take the cheeks if you don't mind.

Speaker 1 Right. The regular picks.
I would have made it hard for you. Okay.

Speaker 1 I'll take gold. Right.
So that he goes, send them down there. And he probably, because if I was God, I would have been like, go to New York.

Speaker 1 Right? Yeah. I wouldn't go to

Speaker 1 Utah in the middle of the fucking, you know what I mean? First of all, you'd place it somewhere

Speaker 1 holy. God would have been like, go to the Vatican.
Right. Where the Pope is sleeping and put it atop his house.

Speaker 1 You would go to the Pope. Or go to the Pope.
You would go to the Pope. Yeah, you wouldn't have to go.
You would go to a guy named Joseph and go, bury it. I imagine Morani goes down.

Speaker 1 That's what it was. He was supposed to go to Vatican City to the Pope, and Morani comes down here, the goofball that he is, and he forgets where he's going.
They didn't have Google Maps about that.

Speaker 1 No, how does he know? They didn't have Google Maps about that. Yeah, yeah.
No map quest. He doesn't print out directions.
He's like, yes, this is it. It looks like in the middle of the fucking forest.

Speaker 1 In Utah. In one cabin.
He probably wasn't even supposed to see Joseph. Of course not.
Yeah, yeah. Of course not.
And Joseph. This is an album.

Speaker 1 That guy is the guy I was told. you know what I mean? Joseph was sleeping on the side.
Joseph has been sitting there picking his nose, jacking off in a fucking cabin. Right?

Speaker 1 And he goes, come with me to the forest. Yeah, so he goes out there.
And so, um, there's pubes on my mic. I know, me too.
It's, it's, I still have pubes in my mouth. Me too.
Yeah, it's very,

Speaker 1 but, um,

Speaker 1 and it's so, I had one pube between my teeth, I think, and I wet it. Now it's now.
I wet it. Now it's

Speaker 1 noodly. It's a noodle pube.
It's a noodly orange pube in my mouth.

Speaker 1 But so then. They go to the forest, and he says.
They go to the forest. So this this is, and he goes, this, and the, you can make another book with these pages.
He's like, but I got, but how?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Also, it's like, I'm playing chess with my wife. I mean, I got shit going on.
You know what I mean? Got a whole thing planned. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And then he's like, yeah, this is, and call this the book of Mormon. Because more Moroni.
Is that why? That's right. Okay.
And so then I guess that's how the church was started. That's exactly right.

Speaker 1 Right. And then, um, so what the documentary is about is,

Speaker 1 I guess in the beginning of the church, there were a lot of documents. Because back when you're starting a religion, you got to keep tabs.

Speaker 1 You got to write shit down. You got to write it all down.

Speaker 1 So there were some letters written, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 the documentary is about this one guy, Mark Hoffman. Love the name.
Yeah, who he

Speaker 1 at an early age discovered one of the earliest documents

Speaker 1 of Mormon literature.

Speaker 1 Right. And I have to give away the show.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Spoiler load: if you haven't seen the documentary, then look away. This is not interesting if it's.
Skip, skip, skip, skip, skip. And it'll be time coded below.
You'll see when I go to the next one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Okay, go ahead.
But it's also something that was also world famous.

Speaker 1 It was known.

Speaker 1 It's known. It was known.
So this guy discovers that.

Speaker 1 And then all of a sudden he discovers

Speaker 1 even stuff that has nothing to do with Mormon literature

Speaker 1 or history. What is it? It's just like American history shit.

Speaker 1 You know what mean like you know a letter from john adams is something right cool and he's disco he goes to flies in new york goes all over the country and he disco that's what it is he's a treasure hunter where is he finding all this like he goes to he goes to libraries he he looks things up like you know what i mean

Speaker 1 and he goes and but at the end of the day and he sells shit like he sells you you know so the first one was a letter from Joseph Smith's white to somebody, wife to somebody, and it says in the letter that there was no Moroni, it was a white salamander.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 What? Yeah. Bring up a picture of a white salamander so I can see what he's talking about.
So a white salamander showed up at Joseph. I'm not kidding you.
That's what Morani looks like.

Speaker 1 No, no, that wasn't Moroni. No.
So the letter goes, you know, it wasn't Moroni, it was actually a white salamander. Very cute, by the way.
Very cute.

Speaker 1 Very cute, right? Very cute. Unbelievable.
I get it. Who led Joseph Smith to the tablets? By the way, I'm going with that thing in the woods.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going right to the woods.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 If that little thing is like, hey, come to the woods. Yeah, yeah.
I guess I'm going to the fucking woods. Also, what are you doing out of the water? And how long can you be out of the water?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. That would be concerning.
Yeah. How long can you be out of the water? Well, I would have a bucket.
Right.

Speaker 1 I go, well, hold on, hold on. I would get like, you know, my, you know, Pisani water, purified water, like really good shit.
Pisani, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or Fiji or whatever, and put it in a nice, you know, me clean. And I would stick it, I put little rocks in their leaves.
No, nice.

Speaker 1 They go, white salamander, just let me know, you know, and point. And you'd be like that way.

Speaker 1 So he, he in the letter it says a white salamander led him to write the tablets, which destroys all of, you know, I mean, sure, the Mormons, you know, thinking about how it started in the first place.

Speaker 1 They think a salamander. It throws everything off, right? Right.
So, you know, and then so the Mormon church bought it. Now they're like, okay.
No, no, they wanted to buy it to hide it, right?

Speaker 1 We can't get that shit out there. Yeah, man, they'll find out that because Moroni is our guy.
We have statues. We built a lot.
We built a lot for Morani. So that he would do a lot.

Speaker 1 He discovered all these letters.

Speaker 1 Let me guess.

Speaker 1 They killed him.

Speaker 1 No. They had him killed.
No. No? He did blow up in a car.
So they had him killed?

Speaker 1 No. Bobby, he blew up in a car? How do you think they had it? Cars don't just blow up all the time.

Speaker 1 This isn't casino. I'm telling you.
Can I tell you what it is then? Yeah, leak it. Spoiler alert all over the fucking place.
Well, then I won't tell you. You're asking me.

Speaker 1 i'm saying to them i'm listening to you man people are listening he

Speaker 1 all of it in fact the salamander letter letter went to the fbi it was fake the fbi looked at it authentic it's fake

Speaker 1 he's the he is the greatest forgerer to ever live on planet earth wow what year was this in the 80s yeah but the technology was whack back then we didn't have a forensic scientist science either it doesn't matter for the fbi to look at a letter and go, this is legit from, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Look at some of the letters. Look at some of the letters.
Show me some of the salamander letter. Where's the salamander letter? Wow.
That's what he forged. Stretch that out, baby.

Speaker 1 And what he would do is this, dude. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The white salamander letter. So, what he would do is he would take

Speaker 1 paper

Speaker 1 and age it. But not only would he age it, he would write the letter, right? He would take a suctioner on the other side of the thing to suck, because I guess when

Speaker 1 ink bleeds through time, so he sucks all the ink into the page, right? He puts chemicals on it, dries, right?

Speaker 1 He made this

Speaker 1 jar where he lit smoke so the letter would get smoke. Wow.
And he would do,

Speaker 1 it would take months to create one of these masterpieces. Sure.
And there was no way to differentiate. It's art.
Right. And people went, oh, I'll buy that.

Speaker 1 They were going to buy one that was $1.5 million.

Speaker 1 Wow. So what happened was one guy was onto him or whatever.
So he sent him a package, blew him up. There's another guy, his body, he blew up.

Speaker 1 And then the next day he goes, uh-oh, I think they're all pointing to me that I blew these guys up. They died, right? So I'll just kill myself.
So he.

Speaker 1 Who is this guy that did all the killing? Hoffman. Right.
The guy that does the forgering.

Speaker 1 He killed all these other guys because he thinks they're onto him. On to him.
And then he kills himself. The next day, but he doesn't die.

Speaker 1 He blows up in a car he's so good at this but can't kill himself yeah right and then he's on the sidewalk he's on fire right he's everything's gone right he's just right and he's alive they saved this guy

Speaker 1 yes people came out it's hoffman you know what i mean you know what i mean hoffman's on fire have fire right and then he's wakes up in the in in in the hospital right yeah and um he's still alive now wow where is he is he in prison yeah no he's fucking hawaii Well, some of these guys, they got away from Whitey Bolger was living in Venice.

Speaker 1 No, but he, um,

Speaker 1 yeah, it's an amazing documentary.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah, it's, he had everyone fooled.
And he's, he was, he did it. He, as a kid, would do shit like that.
Ford stuff. No, he loved pranking people.
Oh, this is a long prank. That's a good bit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he always said, like, MTV's historic pranks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. So it was like, um.
Who would host that fucking shit? he's the he's the he's the best at whatever that is also Andrew you had that prank called you did to the video store.

Speaker 1 Oh, let's hear it

Speaker 1 Hey, is this the video store? Yes, cool.

Speaker 1 So I'm sitting here with my buddy and we're having a conversation about some of the greatest movies ever made Okay, and this fucking guy is talking about the movie elf you ever seen this movie elf the movie elf it's the Christmas movie Fucking Will Farrell.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay, okay, yeah, yeah. I see that, yeah.
This fucking guy said that Elf is better than Enter the Dragon. I'm gonna put this moron on the phone.
Elf is phenomenal.

Speaker 1 Oh my god, don't even, please, please, whatever. That's some bullshit.
Excuse my French, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 It's not

Speaker 1 even the case, no. It's unique.
Memorable lines. Great film.
It's incredible. No, I'm not going to say it's not a bad, it's not a terrible movie.
Right.

Speaker 1 But you can't can't compare it to any to one of these martial arts movies, what your buddy just said, man. It's no comparison to me.
You can only compare it on a technical level.

Speaker 1 It's a fucking Christmas movie. Exactly.
I watch this stuff for Christmas. Like without karate movies, you can watch it year-round.

Speaker 1 Exactly. You know? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Alpha's the illest shit. Yes.
Yes. Yeah, and that's exactly.
It's funny, but but like I said, it's no comparison to a martial arts movie. E even like, for example, It-Man,

Speaker 1 It-Man 1, It-Man 2, It-Man 3, It-Man 4. As

Speaker 1 no comparison, man, Elf is better.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, I cannot even

Speaker 1 justify that. Really?

Speaker 1 I mean, I even brought up Mean Streets, one of the greatest movies of all time. This fucking guy still says Elf is better over Mean Streets.

Speaker 1 Oh, my good. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Well, I don't like Mean Streets. I love Elf.

Speaker 1 Something else that you think will beat Elf? As far as martial arts?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay, martial arts right now.
I might say into the dragon, Chinese connection. Five things are deaf.
Sure. Hitman four.
Hitman one.

Speaker 1 Crossing tiger hidden dragon. I'll keep going on and on, man.
Ooh, that's tough.

Speaker 1 That's very tough. I'm going to go with,

Speaker 1 of course, elf.

Speaker 1 Man, choking assassin. Elf is better.
Master killer. Elf is better.
Fist of the white lotus. Three evil masters.

Speaker 1 Elf is better. The extensive knowledge that that guy has of kung fu movies.
I don't agree with him either, though. Somebody cut that up.
That was really good.

Speaker 1 That guy that cut that up and used my voice. What, that's not real? Are you out of your mind? That's a fan of ours used that clip of the argument we had about elf

Speaker 1 episode, many episodes ago.

Speaker 1 He cut my voice up. That's using one of those machines.
Whoa. Yeah, that's not me.
That's a fan using.

Speaker 1 That's really good. It's also very scary.
They can cut us up to say anything. That is pretty scary.
Think about the shit that we say on this show. There's another guy, though, that calls.

Speaker 1 He's the fan. He calls the video store and he pretends to be my buddy sitting in the same room with me using our voice.
Shout out to Fart Simpson, as far as we know. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, he took my voice and clipped it up from when we got arguing about elsewhere. I really enjoyed it.
When are you going to Hungary?

Speaker 1 Are you excited? Can we tell the fans that you're going to Budapest? Yeah, I mean, I guess you can say that I'm going to Budapest. I just, I'm a little.

Speaker 1 Bobby's going to shoot a movie for three weeks or four weeks?

Speaker 1 five weeks. Wow.
Five weeks. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe that'll be the end of the show. I'm nervous about it.
I'm really nervous about it. Why are you nervous?

Speaker 1 Because, you know, it's like, I don't know. It's because I don't really.
Are the girls coming? No. Kala will mid-trip.
Yeah. But it's like, it's, you know, I'm never...
invited to do big things.

Speaker 1 This is huge. It's a huge movie.
And I have a small, obviously, like, you know, it's as small as what I did in Harold and Kumar. Who cares? Who cares, right? But it's like,

Speaker 1 there is an excitement, but there's also a little of unknown factor of like, you know what I mean? What is, you know, because I've been on two times, because I was in,

Speaker 1 that was a big movie set was The Dictator, and that also was in

Speaker 1 Pineapple Express. Yeah.
Pretty big, you know what I mean? So huge movies. Huge movies.
And

Speaker 1 it's just a different, you know, thing. And then I thought I was kind of out of the game for many, many years.
Just doing, doing, you know, my own thing with you and all this stuff. It just felt good.

Speaker 1 But then now I got invited to do this thing. So it's exciting, I guess.
It's going to be huge.

Speaker 1 That's going to be such a.

Speaker 1 Are you proud of Tito Bobby? She doesn't give a shit. And I don't care what she says.
Are you proud, Jules? Yeah, I am. She's proud of you.

Speaker 1 She's never seen anything I've done. That's not true.
She has.

Speaker 1 We talked about it.

Speaker 1 Look at her face. She's never seen anything I've done.
I've seen splitting up together. It's a good show.

Speaker 1 Fuck you. Wait a minute.
It was a good show. Yeah, she did.

Speaker 1 It got canceled, but it was a good good show yeah didn't deserve to be i'll tell you that did not deserve to be i'm on my sixth month of filming dave a lot of fans say why do i say davey because you say that yeah um i'm gonna say honest with you i've never seen dave said the right way just now fine right yeah

Speaker 1 but you know from the clips i've seen clips

Speaker 1 it's a funny looking show no i'm being real

Speaker 1 I'm being honest with you. And I've seen ads with you in it.
Yeah. Advertisements with you in it, right? Okay.
You look great in it.

Speaker 1 Give you a compliment, man. Thanks.
And did you have to audition for that?

Speaker 1 They did. They ran me through a big rigmarole.
I don't think you auditioned. I did.

Speaker 1 Did you audition for it? I did. No, you didn't.
I had to do chemistry reads with Dave. Yeah, but you didn't audition for it.
Same thing. I did chemistry reads with Dave.
This is okay.

Speaker 1 I just want to let everyone know what

Speaker 1 this is, okay?

Speaker 1 Most people.

Speaker 1 I had to audition. Shut the fuck up, man.

Speaker 1 It's insane. It's not insane.
I had to audition. Let me finish what I'm saying.
Can I? Is that my podcast too? Stop acknowledging me and get through it then. Go.
I will.

Speaker 1 So, most people,

Speaker 1 you know, your average actor, they call their agent and they go,

Speaker 1 Hey, is there anything? Right? And their agent goes, Hey, baby,

Speaker 1 I'm out of my Gulfstream jet right now. I don't know.
There's nothing, nothing down on earth. Right.
Good luck. And then they hang up on them.

Speaker 1 Right? Yeah. But some people,

Speaker 1 they go, hey, they really, FX really wants you for this thing, but obviously you have to do a chemistry read with the lead, right? They already saw 2,300 people for the part.

Speaker 1 Stop. Don't shake your head again.
And if you roll your eyes, I'll gouge them out.

Speaker 1 All right, we'll gouge them out, right?

Speaker 1 They're going to

Speaker 1 chemistry, you, right, and who

Speaker 1 Seth Green, probably, right?

Speaker 1 It's always like two big names. You and Seth Green, either one of you will get it.
Come and read. You show up.
They have fucking cappuccinos. Yeah.
Right? You don't sign up. No.

Speaker 1 You go out and you talk. You talk to shop, whatever.
You want to put it on the feed?

Speaker 1 You're also in a beautiful rehearsal hall. It's not like a little office.
No, I did mine in a little office. Fuck you.

Speaker 1 And so they go, and then you show up and you go, no, let me finish my cappuccino and then we'll do it. Yeah.
Right. So you drink your cappuccino, you talk to your paper.

Speaker 1 I got to go take a phone call real fast. You're right, right.
And then

Speaker 1 you do it, and it's like, after you're done, you know, everyone laughs. You know, you know, it's like one of those things where when people audition,

Speaker 1 the cast manager goes, all right, thank you. And you kind of leave.
But what he does is they, after they do, they take the laugh, right? I go, man, you improvise that line. You improvise that line.

Speaker 1 That was great, man. It was good.
And we were in sync. Let's do it again.
Let's try this one. You know what I mean? And they work on it.
Yeah, for about an hour. For about an hour, right?

Speaker 1 And when you audition, you have to park on the street 15 miles away, right? And then you have to go through 15 gates.

Speaker 1 Just let me finish all right yeah 15 gates right and you have to show id and then it's like then you show up in a fucking hallway with 50 people you sign your name you have to wait for three hours and then you go into a little office but for his thing chemistry reading right he gets to drive on a lot did you drive on did you drive on

Speaker 1 did you drive on no yeah you did he drives on they has have his name on a fucking fucking thing, right? You park, right? You probably have a room. First of all, I had a driver, so I didn't drive.

Speaker 1 All right, my point is that it's a little different. It's a little different, but I know I had to audition for the show.
That's not auditioning. I didn't do that.

Speaker 1 It's not like the old, it was, it was anyway. Um, thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 Thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 I got up

Speaker 1 from my seat, right? I know

Speaker 1 I counted 26 times.

Speaker 1 okay

Speaker 1 as we're literally descending into LAX, right?

Speaker 1 The flight attendants are all strapped in, right?

Speaker 1 And in my mind, I'm like, I'm counting. I'm like,

Speaker 1 I don't think I just kind of calculate in my mind, right? Of my body. I go,

Speaker 1 I can't. There's no way.
Never going to make it. Never going to make it.
Never going to make it. So I get up, right? Yeah.
And then the stewardess go,

Speaker 1 Shit down, sit down. We're descending.
And I turn

Speaker 1 to first class. I have diarrhea.
Like, I yell it. I don't know what else to say, right?

Speaker 1 I'm in the fucking plane, right? Yeah. I pulled out my pants, right?

Speaker 1 Jackson Pollock painting.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 I've never been in the bathroom landing. Have you ever done that? No.
Oh, you feel so guilty. But how cool is it? It's cool.
And also, you don't need a seatbelt. I was able to do it.

Speaker 1 Well, I had my pants down, right?

Speaker 1 I was shitting all over the place, right but i was shitting all over the place right and and then i get out right and then i had to go to the steward and everyone and go i'm sorry i just i don't feel well and they're like it happened sir but sir don't ever do that again