Bobby and Andrew Take Down Wall Street

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Speaker 1 You two are bad friends.

Speaker 2 Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 2 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 2 We're bad friends. Yumi Koreans came up to me.
And said what?

Speaker 2 Dude, bad friends? Bobby Lee is like my idol, man. I'm a leader of group.
Trust me, I know. She doesn't respect me, right? It's disgusting.

Speaker 2 But what I wanted to retell you right now is I'm a leader of a group. Recognize.
Recognize, right? And if there was a war, God bless it, be not happened. God bless, not happen.

Speaker 2 God bless it, be not happen, right? You would be in big trouble, all right?

Speaker 2 I'm going to tell you another thing, young lady. Tell her.

Speaker 2 You're not going to believe this. This is against you.
You're not going to believe this. You're not going to believe it.
So we get in the car, right, to drive here today. And she goes,

Speaker 2 I go, what? She goes, if Andrew not wearing a mask, right, I'm going to say something. I was wearing a mask.
I understand that. I understand that.
And luck you were.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I go, what are you going to do? She goes, i have had enough

Speaker 2 i have enough you have enough i have enough i had enough you have it up to here

Speaker 2 i'm gonna confront he goes i'm gonna confront him you're gonna come

Speaker 2 you're gonna confront andrew she goes yeah he better be wearing mask or i'll come from you know what i go oh yeah do it now

Speaker 2 why don't you confront me right now

Speaker 2 do the compront come on Confront me right now. Yeah, yeah.
I didn't say that. Okay, so if he wasn't wearing a mask, right, you weren't going to say anything because you promised the lady.

Speaker 2 I would wait for you to say it.

Speaker 2 What? What?

Speaker 2 You coward? Coward. Oh, yeah, coward.
Coward. Yeah, yeah.
I would wait for you to say it.

Speaker 2 And that's why the Japanese took over their island. Right? I wait.
I wait.

Speaker 2 You're weak. You couldn't even confront me right now.
It's unbelievable what she says around the house. You know what I mean? Like, I'm going to get here.
I'm going to say something. What? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And it's like, what?

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's a lot of stuff. No, yeah.

Speaker 2 Dude, I'm so mad at you. Yeah, I know, I know.
And you know what? Yeah, yeah, to think that I brought you a gift today. Oh, my God.
To think

Speaker 2 I brought you a gift. Oh, another knife.
Look at this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Look at the size of this. That's a nice one.
Yeah, you want to play with it? Is it real? Yeah, it's real. Will I cut myself?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Oh, my God.
It's sharp. It's real.
Yeah, dude. This is a knife knife.
Yeah, yeah. Let's see.
No, I don't want it. Well, this is a nice table.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Here go, go rudy and you know what but you know what can i tell you something yeah you don't get to keep it i didn't see no you know what yeah yeah you know what bob yeah i'm not gonna give that to her she doesn't get that knife you know what rudy she doesn't get anything from now on here yeah yeah this one you get that one what is that it's another knife okay get her another one you get a little baby knife baby knife you can have both i love you here here take both

Speaker 2 take both you freak yeah psycho but she says all this stuff and it's like you know i go one day why don't you just say something i love you and she's like, and she's always like, I will one day I confront him.

Speaker 2 You're finally going to confront me. Rudy, did you get any AMC stock or GameStop stock? No.
Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Yeah.
Did you? No, but Klaila.

Speaker 2 How much? How many? She didn't buy like five grand. She want five grand worth.
Worth, yeah. No,

Speaker 2 I don't know what. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. She put in $5,000, but there's

Speaker 2 but stocks are only worth a couple hundred now, right? A piece. Yeah.
Yeah. What is it at right now? What's game stop at right now

Speaker 2 well this morning was at 325 wow yeah

Speaker 2 i think it's so cool what they're doing i am but bury them

Speaker 2 yeah all these hedge fund people have been making so much money and they don't do anything i'm on their side why what you're on the side i like richies

Speaker 2 i like rich but but you like don't don't you like rich people to get rich from doing something cool or talented These people didn't do anything. I know.
I just feel like

Speaker 2 they know these loopholes, the little things that they do, right, to make themselves money. But that's not cool.
That's not cool. No.
And

Speaker 2 what's fucked up about it is, and then, you know, the common man, like us, right? We find out about it, right? Yeah. And then they try to fuck us.
They did. They are fucking us.
I know.

Speaker 2 They're stopping every... You know, George bought a lot.
What did he buy?

Speaker 2 You bought GameStop and AMC?

Speaker 2 I'm getting AMC this afternoon. I bought GameStop.
There.

Speaker 2 Are you going to buy any? I'm thinking about it, but then I'm like,

Speaker 2 I feel like I'm behind.

Speaker 2 You know what this looks like? This is like you and me go to the casino. If you and and me went to the casino in Vegas, we'd lose a hundred grand.
Oh, and I've done it. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 I don't win at those things.

Speaker 2 I'm a loser. Gambling doesn't work for us.
No, I could get like

Speaker 2 Blackjack, right? I could get

Speaker 2 two fucking kings. King King.
King King and still lose. He's King.
Yeah. Yeah, he wins every time.
Every time. Every single time.
Yeah. Now, gambling is, for me, gambling is I'll do it for fun.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 But I don't think about I'm going to win money. Yeah.
That's gay. They're full-time gambling.
Andreas know for you, right? Yeah, I always have inside information.

Speaker 2 Actually, do you guys want to know how much

Speaker 2 groundworks that people don't know about? That you, Andrew, and I can buy in on that. This is going to be a new segment called Andreas is on the ground.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Andreas on the ground. Finance advice.
Finance advice.

Speaker 2 Already, I'm not going to do that. That's a finance advice.

Speaker 2 I'm not convinced.

Speaker 2 I just saw a matador in my head. Pull a finance advice.

Speaker 2 Andreas, a finance advice.

Speaker 2 Do you need advice? But instead of a matador, it's like a a little bulldog.

Speaker 2 By the way, what an appropriate metaphor for the bull for Wall Street running past...

Speaker 2 A little meme of Andres, the bull of Wall Street running through a red, and him going, Andres, Rosende, finance advice.

Speaker 2 What is it? What is it, Andreas? What's your advice? Bobby, would you buy a Chipotle stock or would you go with something like Moderna? Oh, he's saying what's more popular.

Speaker 2 Ooh, if we were gambling right now. Okay, I see what he said.

Speaker 2 Moderna? Moderna or Chipotle? Moderna's medical? Yeah, they're pharmaceutical companies. Moderna is the one who's coming out with the vaccine.
Yeah, they're making it. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 I would go with Chipotle. I think I'd also go with Chipotle because I feel like Moderna goes up and down all the time.
Chipotle is probably on a steady rise. Yeah, how much do you think it's worth?

Speaker 2 I would say Chipotle stock is worth $300 or $400, $360.

Speaker 2 What about Moderna? Moderna is up in the thousands, I bet. Probably like $1,200 to $1,500.

Speaker 2 Well, now that laugh, though? It's so condescending. He's so condescending and so gross.
Could you imagine doing that to a client? What a piece of shit.

Speaker 2 I come into his office and he's like, you're here for finance advice. Yes.
Plus, he has the internet in front of him. Yeah, I know.
And looking at the internet going,

Speaker 2 and me and my husband, me and my husband, Bobby, we walk into your office and I say, you know, we've never done this before and Bob's interested in getting in the market. Right.

Speaker 2 That's why you guys are here. Thank you for coming to your house.
Well, thank you for having us, but we were just curious. We're looking to spend a little bit of money, and we think maybe in Chipotle.

Speaker 2 Is Is that how much is Chipotle? We're thinking Chipotle. Chipotle is the restaurant.
We go there every Friday. It's the best.
After my after work, right after he gets there.

Speaker 2 And what I get is I get a burrito. Yeah, a burrito.
Yeah, a little burrito. And I get a burrito bowl because I'm watching my cows.
Exactly. And, you know, for me, you know, I like the cows.

Speaker 2 Friday night's my

Speaker 2 cow night. That's when he lets loose.
Yeah. So, how much is Chipotle stock? $1,200.

Speaker 2 Oh. Holy shit.
Whoa, wow.

Speaker 2 Whoa.

Speaker 2 A little bit of rich for our budget.

Speaker 2 How much much is Moderna? Moderna. $173.

Speaker 2 Whoa.

Speaker 2 Maybe we should buy Moderna. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but what? $1,200 for Chipotle? Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, my girlfriend in high school? But her, wait, this is crazy. My girlfriend in high school, when McDonald's used to own Chipotle,

Speaker 2 her family, someone in her family worked at Chipotle and they had the unlimited card. Do you ever seen the platinum card or whatever? George, pull up the card.
It's like the unlimited burrito card.

Speaker 2 Back when McDonald's used to own them, they'd give you these cards, these lifetime burrito cards.

Speaker 2 As many as you want for the rest of your life. A lifetime burrito card.
And we would go, and friends could use it unlimited. No, there was no limit count.

Speaker 2 Yeah. That's it.
Yeah. A lifetime of burritos.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't eat there. Did you hear the Spain? Did you hear the Spain? He goes, Wow.
I know, I know. Do you eat there? No, no, no, no.
I don't eat there. In high school, I ate it all the time.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because

Speaker 2 you eat there, don't you eat chipotle? I tried it twice.

Speaker 2 You don't like it? I like it.

Speaker 2 What's your favorite Mexican food? Restaurant? Restaurant?

Speaker 2 Terry's. Terry's, yeah.
You go to Terry's? I mean, I like it. Yeah, it's good.
I love it. I go to this place called El Micho Can.
Oh, I love El Michan. El Michoca.
I love El Man. It's so good.

Speaker 2 And she goes like this. She goes, whenever she sees me, she goes, hey.
I go, hi. And she goes, do you want the same thing? Oh,

Speaker 2 I love when they do that. I know.
I love it because when we go to Terry's, they all love me.

Speaker 2 Hey, hey, they yell from the back. Hey, Baba.
Hey, it's the best. And they always give me extra guacamole.
Oh, dude, I get extra everything.

Speaker 2 Because they use like a little ice cream scooper. Yeah,

Speaker 2 right? I get two scoops. Yeah, I mean, it's the best.
Yeah. Isn't that so nice? They don't give her extra.
They don't, nothing. Because you don't deserve it.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 No, and you laugh, but you don't deserve it. Yeah, you laugh and you don't deserve it.
But you know what? Also, I love is any Mexican place that has the carrot thing, the pickled carrot. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 I love those are the best. The best.
Everyone should have that. Why don't more restaurants do that? Well, because I think they take time to pick.
They do, they, that's, that's homemade Mexican. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's real Mexican food. If you don't have a salsa bar, I'm not going in.
Not going. I'm not going.
I love the different kinds.

Speaker 2 You got to have the green one. The green salsa.
You got to have the green one. And then you have the chunko chunk.
Chonko, the chonco salsa. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because they get yo.

Speaker 2 And then you got to have the brown, which is usually a chipotle-ish, or a

Speaker 2 bright red. The bright red is what I like.
Is that what I like? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like something out of Satan's asshole.
You know what I mean? Yeah. And it gets you moving, papaya.

Speaker 2 It really does, yeah.

Speaker 2 I like a bar. Yeah,

Speaker 2 I need a salsa and condiments bar i don't like salad bars though well they're disgusting yeah it's like you know um do people not know how to use sunflower seeds it's like somebody takes the sunflower and just goes fuck it right you just scoop it i'm gonna put it on my salad now put it everywhere

Speaker 2 right and then it's like um

Speaker 2 listen all right name it one thing russian dressing Thousand Island. Pick.
Pick one. Pick.
Because I don't want to fucking get confused here, baby. Yeah.
Yeah. Pick one.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And by the way, didn't we fuck off the Russians years ago? Yeah. Okay.
I don't want to

Speaker 2 fuck Russians.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Fuck the Russians, man.
We're calling it Thousand Island. Thousand Island.

Speaker 2 Because Thousand Island sounds cool. It's a Thousand Island.
But they are different. They're very different.
Yeah, they're very different. They have different ingredients.

Speaker 2 What's the difference? Russian dressing.

Speaker 2 Thousand Island, I think, has

Speaker 2 not is it relish? That's it. It's like something green in it.
What is the difference? One of them has. Well, don't say that you know.
No, there is a difference.

Speaker 2 And then go into an explanation where you're going to be different. It tastes different.
I don't know what it is. There is a difference in terms of ingredients.

Speaker 2 No, I think the ingredients are almost easy. They're not.
There's one thing, that element that's different. I'm saying it's like, I think it's relish.
Yeah. I think it's like a mayo or

Speaker 2 Russian dressing and Thousand Island dressing. The main difference the two is the use of pickles.
That's what it is, right? That's what I said. That's what I said.
Relish pickle, same thing.

Speaker 2 Giving it more sweetness and texture.

Speaker 2 That's right. I was right.
So what? I was correct. What is it? The Thousand Island has the pickles? Thousand Island.
The main difference is that Thousand Island dressing has pickles.

Speaker 2 Little baby pickle chunks. Little pickle chunks.
Oh, that's right. They do have a little bit of a pickle.

Speaker 2 And you know what? I'm fine with that. Fuck Russian dressing.
Get out of here. Well, I want little pickle chunks.
Yeah. Did you guys have a buffet bar when you were a kid?

Speaker 2 What do you mean? We used to have a place called Hometown Buffet. I don't even know if they exist anymore.
Yeah, we had money. We didn't go there.

Speaker 2 No, really. We didn't.

Speaker 2 My dad would like flick it off when we would draw by. Fuck you.
Right. Hometown Buffet.
Really? You guys guys were there? I hated it. I hated it.
You were fancy like that?

Speaker 2 I mean, when I was in high school,

Speaker 2 we had money.

Speaker 2 Really? Yeah. So you never went to something like that? We go to Morton's.
Is that like Hometown Buffet? Damn, you're a rich little bitch.

Speaker 2 I don't know what we would go to like

Speaker 2 Mari's or something. You know what I mean? Really? What do you mean?

Speaker 2 You guys never went to a shitty family restaurant? Like a.

Speaker 2 Korean ones, maybe. Right.

Speaker 2 Those are cheap and shitty. What? Yeah, I mean, I'm saying like mom and pop ones.
Those are cheap restaurants. You're not, those aren't

Speaker 2 good. It was just like a hole in the walls, but we would go to that.
That's what I'm saying. It wasn't priced.
It's not a fucking chain buffet. Like,

Speaker 2 you liked it? We didn't go as a family, but I would go with friends in high school. The worst was,

Speaker 2 you know, when I used to. So when I was a younger comic, when I had to play Vegas, you'd have to play something like Harrow's.
Don't even. The basement? You're talking about the basement? Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 So it's like... Oh, my God.
First of all, you have to do, if anyone doesn't know, you have to do eight nights of a week. Yeah.
So you do, you stay there from Monday to the following Sunday night. Yes.

Speaker 2 It's the schedule. And you have to do two or three shows a night.
Yep. Right.
And it's like, you get, and at least for me at the time, it was like for two shows, I would get maybe $100 or $50.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I think it's the same now.
Yeah, probably the same now. Right.
So at the end of the week, you're making like 800 bucks or 1,000, maybe 100. Maybe.
Maybe. Maybe, right?

Speaker 2 But also, you're like, they give you the hotel, but you're also everything, you have to pay for everything. Yeah, yeah.
So it's not, so when you say they give you 800, 900 bucks, you're losing $500.

Speaker 2 Because there's nothing to do, so you're gambling the money away. Right, right.
You're sitting around, you're eating, you're gambling, you're drinking.

Speaker 2 But their incentive is that they go, well, well, the great news is

Speaker 2 we're going to give you a little employee ID card. Saddest thing on planet Earth.
So what is it? Well, you know, all the employees at the casino, we eat, there's a, you know, a lounge.

Speaker 2 Call it what it is. What is it? A dungeon.
It's a dungeon. It's a free base.
It's in a basement. Dungeon.

Speaker 2 dungeon and so you you can smoke there for so yep it's a buffet it's it's the food that they didn't want to eat at the fucking buffet it really is there's a dumb waiter they put they put down food

Speaker 2 and you open up a thing and food comes out of shit nobody wanted upstairs we must eat what will it be

Speaker 2 Whatever the ones above don't want.

Speaker 2 So the buffet in the hotel, right? Yep. Upstairs, right?

Speaker 2 Like Midwestern people are like, ah, that looks rotten, right? I don't want to eat that, right?

Speaker 2 For the comedians, right? So now you have employees going through the lunch with cigarettes,

Speaker 2 right? Yeah. And just drunk.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Right, right.

Speaker 2 And then you're just, you have this little thing ID card, right? And you're going through, and you, as a poor comic, you have to eat it. You don't have a choice.

Speaker 2 You can't afford whatever's upstairs. Yeah, yeah.
So you're just sitting there eating like this fucking, you know,

Speaker 2 brown cucumber.

Speaker 2 Right? Yeah. Do you think vegetables seem, you know what I mean, like not going to fuck up my stomach? They have nutrients in it.
It's not like it's like a brown.

Speaker 2 It's a brown cucumber. It's like a fucking potato chip.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Right? It's crisp.

Speaker 2 It crumbles. Yeah.
You have me the cucumber.

Speaker 2 The first time I use that card, I'll never forget. I went through the line and then I get to the thing and I go, I'd like to pay.
I'm one of the employees. I'm the comedian.

Speaker 2 And the woman at the checkout was like, okay.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, didn't even scan the. Didn't even care.
She's like, this is not a privilege.

Speaker 2 This is sad. Take your food.

Speaker 2 Fuck out of here.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's really sad. And then also, then sometimes when you're doing a Vegas show like that,

Speaker 2 you're sharing the green room with another different show. That's right.
Yeah. Some lounge act.

Speaker 2 Not a comedian. Like a singer will be sitting there.
There's like a magician with like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Trying to figure out, you know, how to put the, you know, you can see the bunny that's in the fucking hat, you know what I mean? He's trying to figure out how to get it back and back.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Oh, dude, speaking of magician, did you watch In And Of Itself? No.

Speaker 2 Does anybody know about it? Andres, George? Derek Delgado. Shout out to Derek Delgado on Hulu, In and Of Itself, Bobby.

Speaker 2 I'm not even kidding. It's the greatest thing I think I've ever seen in my entire life.
It's a team.

Speaker 2 Before you get it, I want to watch it. Let's get it, but let me just, before you get to,

Speaker 2 I watched two episodes of that HBO thing you want me to watch. Which, which, which, the comedian comedy one, comedy, some guy that does a documentary-style comedy.
Oh, how to with John?

Speaker 2 Oh, oh, how to terrible, wrong.

Speaker 2 I saw three episodes. I was with Kali.
I go, Let's watch this tonight because Andrew said was good. It's super subversive.
I know, and we're watching it. We're watching it.

Speaker 2 Did you get the scaffolding in New York City?

Speaker 2 This is me watching it. Yeah,

Speaker 2 it's really funny. Remember how you wanted to be.

Speaker 2 Remember how you wanted highbrow humor? Yeah. Yeah, that's it.
No. Have you guys seen How To? Did you guys watch it? Yeah.
How good is it, George? Genuine. He's so brilliant.
Anyway,

Speaker 2 this is a documentary about a play this guy does off-Broadway in New York for about 500 plays he's done. Brennan, Neil told me to watch it.
And I was like, whatever, I'll watch it. Neil.
Brennan.

Speaker 2 Neil Brennan? No. Hold on here.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Neil Brennan. Neil Brennan.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I fucking love Neil. No,

Speaker 2 anyway, and I went into this kind of being like, oh, I'm not really in the mood for this, whatever. And it fucked me up, man.

Speaker 2 I bald. I fucking bald.
I love crying. You're going to cry.
Please watch this tonight. You're going to cry.
I'm going to watch it tonight. Is it on what? It's on Hulu.

Speaker 2 I have Hulu. Everybody has Hulu.
It's called

Speaker 2 In and of Itself. And

Speaker 2 it's a true play that he wrote. Yeah, and honestly, dude, it's about his life.
And holy fuck. The one-man show? Yes, it will shake your soul.

Speaker 2 Like, it does, it did things for me that I was like, wow, you have to sit in it for a little bit and let him get into the depths of the story.

Speaker 2 But once you get into the story, you're like, oh, it will fucking shake your innards. Like, when was the last time you saw something that did that? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't know a thing I watched that was like really got me.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I watched Tragedy Porn. Yeah, you well, yeah.
I like re-watching like, you know,

Speaker 2 9-11 when as it happened. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 That's a real thing. You're just sitting there going, not real.

Speaker 2 This is a fake. No, but have you ever watched As It Happens?

Speaker 2 Like the plane hitting the towers? No, so you watch the news. On YouTube, you watch the news when they're discovering it for the first time.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Hey, Bob, welcome to

Speaker 2 what?

Speaker 2 This is just in.

Speaker 2 And I watch it. I try to bring myself, you know what I mean? Like to that moment? Like I'm watching it for the first time.
Where were you when it happened? I was sleeping. I already told you.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's right. You were the whole day.
And I didn't find out about it until the next day. It's kind of nice to sleep right through that.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then when I went to the Starbucks the next day, I woke, you know, and I went to the Starbucks and people were like all depressed and stuff. I was like, what the fuck? What's going on?

Speaker 2 It's taking a long time for coffee? Yeah. And then I found out.
But I also watched the Korean ferry boat tragedy.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 No, you don't. Yeah.
You really like that stuff?

Speaker 2 Yeah. And, you know, it's sad.
I talk about my therapist, stop doing it. But what your therapist says, stop doing it? Yeah, yeah.
But why not? I guess if it helps you in some way. It doesn't help me.

Speaker 2 Oh, it hurts. No, it feeds in some sort of like, that's the only way I can feel.
Oh. Right.
Well, it touches something in you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but for me to see, you know what I mean, such devastating things, you know what I mean, played out in real time, for me to feel something with that is, it's fucked up.

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Speaker 4 The painful, blistering rash disrupted my life for weeks don't learn about your shingles risk the hard way talk to your doctor or pharmacist today sponsored by gsk you know kalila yesterday was just like can we talk i just sit and talk yeah and like she's expressing her feelings right and i just i go into

Speaker 2 when you're

Speaker 2 i just

Speaker 2 when

Speaker 2 oh someone's trying to be real what is it is that acid reflux right now because i just had two pieces of pizza that zoe Lister Jones dropped off at my house. What kind of pizza? I don't know.

Speaker 2 It was, you know, white people pizza. Ugh.
Like thin. Yeah.
And I had to put it in. Do you need do you need medication for that? You do that a lot.
That acid reflux. We're like, who cares?

Speaker 2 Because I don't want your heart to stop. It's not.
If it stops, it stops, baby. No, it can't stop.
Yeah, what's up, baby? I can't stop. That makes me so sad.
I know. But if it does, it does.

Speaker 2 Why did Zoe Lister Jones just drop off pizza at your house, by the way? Because I, because her, her, the movie that I was.

Speaker 2 She did a movie with her husband

Speaker 2 and it's on Sundance today. Oh, yeah, and so they dropped it off.
You know what my movie that I was in just got an award or I mean we're nominated Well, what is it?

Speaker 2 George show them show them my movie. This is my movie.
There I am Really? This is mine. Yeah, there I am with my dog.
Oh congratulations Licious. I didn't know you were in a movie like this.

Speaker 2 It's huge. What do you mean? This is huge.
It's huge. It's Pixar, bud.
Oh wow. I didn't know that.
It's my voice. It's my dog.
Did you produce it? No. Oh.
No, I was, you know. You're lucky you didn't.

Speaker 2 you know why why because i was like where the is my dog

Speaker 2 you would have i mean where was where would where would you fit in that

Speaker 2 it's called out and it's about me yeah it's genuine aaron griffin has a movie out too he does called soul

Speaker 2 you're really good at it he he did kill it yeah he killed it you're really good at it no this show it's out it's about me and my husband manuel and can i was it a gay one it is and can i tell you something who plays manuel andres

Speaker 2 can't be good it can't be good really you want to see a scene you want to hear a scene yeah ready yeah

Speaker 2 he kicks me out because he finds out that you know i have been with his brother i've been hanging out we didn't do anything we're just hanging out he doesn't believe me he thinks i was hooking up with his brother it's not true so this is me when i come back home for the first time to talk to him about it

Speaker 2 here

Speaker 2 that's our cat

Speaker 2 how how can you do this to me i didn't do anything to you manuel my brother. Manuel.
My brother? Manuel, I didn't do anything to you. And first of all, your brother, Taco, and I were just hanging out.

Speaker 2 No, Taco. I mean, he...
No, no, I'm sorry. What? I don't think we can.

Speaker 2 I can. Yeah, no.
What? You broke my heart. I didn't break anything.
Trust me. I didn't do anything with Taco.
All I did was take him to get ice cream. And after that, we took a long walk in the park.

Speaker 2 And that's it. After all I did for you, supporting your shitty career career all these years, you know, all

Speaker 2 I remember sitting in the back of the comedy store hearing those stupid jokes again and again.

Speaker 2 And for what, Manuel, go deeper, to Manuel,

Speaker 2 go deeper.

Speaker 2 Now that you are a movie star and Davey

Speaker 2 and making the big money, now you go with my fucking brother. I do stick to the script, Manuel.

Speaker 2 Manuel, I want to be honest with you for a second.

Speaker 2 I want to be honest with you, Manuel. What?

Speaker 2 I have been sleeping with your brother. I know.
And you know why? Why?

Speaker 2 It's because you make me sick. You're disgusting.
You're a stumpy little man. Hey, Manuel.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I walked away. Anyway, that's part of the film.
Yeah. Maybe we should have rewrites.

Speaker 2 The funniest part about that was I said, stick to the script. There is no script.
But he was online for a while. Wow.

Speaker 2 You know what just happened there in that conversation in that little improv scene with Andres?

Speaker 2 It was like we were driving on a freeway and we're cruising. And you know, it's like, hey, you got to get the 110s right there.
You got to go all the way to the right. And he's like, I got it.

Speaker 2 You're like, all right, you got to get all the way to the right. And then finally he gets there and he's like,

Speaker 2 Because here's when you were going into Andrew's comedy and all that stuff. That's perfect.
And I said, go deeper, you went the opposite way. You should

Speaker 2 use that opportunity. He's never heard of it.
He's never heard someone say, go deeper. He's never heard that before.
Oh, I see. That's a thing.

Speaker 2 No, but anyway, that's my movie. And congrats to Eric Griffin on Soul because I think that's killing it.

Speaker 2 Well, there's no box office now, I guess. What? There's no box office.
Yeah, there isn't. No.
How do you know? Congratulate me on Mulan. Congrats on Mulan.

Speaker 2 Congrats on Mulan.

Speaker 2 When does your episode of Magnum PI come out?

Speaker 2 When can we be looking for it?

Speaker 2 It's like a shitty eye. Why are you like that? When can we watch your episode of Magnet? I don't know when it comes out.
I've never seen it. I don't know.

Speaker 2 Did you never watch when you did the first one? I've done six or seven of them. You have? Yeah.
I thought you only did two. No.
Oh, wow. I've done a bunch.
And you've never seen one episode.

Speaker 2 And in the end of February, I'm going back.

Speaker 2 Good. For another week and a half.
God, for another episode? Yeah. You don't think I could get one? You want me to ask? I mean, it'd be so fun.
That'd be great. You'd be perfect.

Speaker 2 I'd absolutely love to do it.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 I'll tell one of the producers that I know. It'd be fun to go out there and just mess around with you.

Speaker 2 But honestly, I'm not going to do it if it's not with you. But what if we were in the same episode, but not in the same scenes? That doesn't seem fun to me.
Yeah, but they're at the same time.

Speaker 2 I know, but I would rather be in it with you. So if they could make it.
One scene. We'd have one scene.
One scene. That's fine.
I would do one scene. I would make sure it's one scene.

Speaker 2 You would love it because it's almost as if you're not on a show. You're just having fun the whole time? No, they're just a bunch of dudes that kind of look like me.

Speaker 2 A guy named Zeke with tattoos all over his face. You know what I mean? Yeah.
How you doing, buddy? You know what I mean? And then like, and just, you know,

Speaker 2 Asians, you know, just operator. You know what I mean? They all look like me.
You know, somebody said, why don't you guys check in with Jules more?

Speaker 2 And I got to tell you, I had a whole thing today about talking to Jules. Yeah.
And you know why I didn't? Because she couldn't confront me. She couldn't confront you.

Speaker 2 If you could confront me, I would be more conversational with you. But I think that you have an issue with me, and I want you to get it off your chest right now.

Speaker 2 What's the problem? I don't have. It's Tito Bobby who has an issue.
What's his issue? He's not an issue. He's lying.

Speaker 2 He's not a liar, and that's disgusting to call my friend a liar.

Speaker 2 Don't you ever call him a liar. It's funny that you think that you have allies in this house, right? You could do that shit in our house with Kalila.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Are you trying to fuse that fucking little thing that you do here? No way, baby. Let's hear it.

Speaker 2 Everyone in the room here, everyone in our house, in the bad friend's house, that is a Rudy ally, say I on the count of three. One, two, three.

Speaker 2 Interesting.

Speaker 2 What? George, what?

Speaker 2 What, George?

Speaker 2 George, what?

Speaker 2 Hell, he sneezed. Oh, you sneezed.
Yeah. All right, I'm going to try it again.
If there's any allies in this house, show yourself now. Say I.
One, two, three.

Speaker 2 That's what I thought.

Speaker 2 It feels, you know, that silence.

Speaker 2 You're on that mountain alone. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Jules, that silence, right, is, I call it the void. Right? You're alone in empty space with no one around you.

Speaker 2 And you're free falling. Wouldn't be okay.
Okay. No, no, don't okay with your eyes.
All right, right now. All right.
Here's another thing I want to call her out on. Please, please.

Speaker 2 Maybe she has a video game addiction. She does? Maybe.

Speaker 2 What's going on, Jules? Yeah, what's going on? Nothing.

Speaker 2 Are you playing too much?

Speaker 2 Kinda.

Speaker 2 How many hours? I can't say. Why? Because I think all

Speaker 2 Oh, is she going to get in trouble? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 No, you're not.

Speaker 2 Jules is a lot like me in many ways. Yeah, but...
In the pandemic, we escape. We have our ways of feeling good.
The video game is an escape world for you, huh? What's the video game that you play?

Speaker 2 Valorant. Valorant?

Speaker 2 What is it?

Speaker 2 First-person shooting? It's like Warzone, but more cartoony, I guess.

Speaker 2 More like more animated. Are you upset with me right now? No.
I feel like, yeah, in your face, I feel like you're going, he's he's betrayed me again. No.
He's a betrayer.

Speaker 2 Did you have a conversation with Tito, Bobby, about the Valorant game and not talking to? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I know. Why do I do that? Well, it's out.
It's fine. It's fine.
All right. You know, that's another thing that I do.
That's a bad thing. What?

Speaker 2 Hold stuff above people?

Speaker 2 What I do.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's so evil. It's so bad.
I just realized that I do it. But I do it because.
Just now, after all the times that you've done it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
After 49 years of doing it, right?

Speaker 2 and and I, I, I realize that the reason why I did it is I do go through a thing, I was like, should I do it or not, right? Then I weigh the consequences of it in my head, right?

Speaker 2 And then I go, you know, I think the entertainment quality, you know, the value of the entertainment,

Speaker 2 risk and reward, right? So I weigh it, right? If you were really going to get in trouble about something, right, I would never say anything. Right.

Speaker 2 I think I know a couple of things, you know what I mean, that would never say it out loud, right? So, but like, like what, like the boy thing, the boy stuff. No, I don't know.
You keep that private.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Are you okay?

Speaker 2 Something stuck in my throat. Do you want some water? No, it's fine.

Speaker 2 No, it's fine. Put your hand up.

Speaker 2 I'll give you a little water. It's fine.
Put your hand up.

Speaker 2 Just put your hand up. I'll give you a little water.

Speaker 2 There you go. Drink up, kid.

Speaker 2 Whoa, dude. That's crazy.
You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Thank you, George.
George, ally. Ally.

Speaker 2 Ally.

Speaker 2 I can smell that from here. Hey, um, yeah.
Can you open it to ask you?

Speaker 2 Yeah, my guy.

Speaker 2 Useless. Yeah, um, there's a couple of things I want to.
Um,

Speaker 2 a movie that I saw the other night that people like, but I hate it. And I,

Speaker 2 and it was called The Vast of Night.

Speaker 2 Vast of Night. Let me see what it looks like, George.
The Vast of Night. What it, what's the deal with that? Why did you hate it?

Speaker 2 I just. The Vast of Night.

Speaker 2 a Jeff Bezos original

Speaker 2 so it takes place in the 50s

Speaker 2 pause it we don't have to see the rest no I cannot stand it why do we pretend that that was a voice that people did what oh

Speaker 2 that's what they used to talk like back in there nobody talked like that yeah stick him up buddy no yeah and I've heard my grandfather talk he doesn't sound like that he never sounded like that yeah but your grandfather Oh, hey, see, hey cat, Matt.

Speaker 2 Nobody talked like that. Was a TV thing.
These are people that

Speaker 2 used to live in cities and stuff, not the hills of eyes, wherever you come from. I come from the city of Chicago.
My grandfather's born and raised in the city of Chicago.

Speaker 2 What's wrong with this?

Speaker 2 Okay, so it's number one.

Speaker 2 Beautifully shot. Yeah, it looks beautiful.

Speaker 2 The director's a genius, and this is his first thing I think. I think he's going to work forever.
Sure, sure. The acting is great.
Okay.

Speaker 2 It's,

Speaker 2 let me just, I'm going to just give a spoiler alert. You literally are like, this is good.
This is good. You're like, it's the title.
That's like the only thing.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no. That's not what it is.
What's this? Okay, spoiler alert. Well, we should be spoiled.
It just came out. I don't care.
I don't care. I have to do it.
I don't care. I'm going to do it.

Speaker 2 All right. And

Speaker 2 if you want to watch the movie, then fuck click it off now.

Speaker 2 No, don't turn off the episode just because they know. Oh, well, keep listening, but I'm going to do it anyway.
Just don't watch the movie. What is it? All right, so can I just do my rundown?

Speaker 2 Okay, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 So it's beautifully shot, right? Yeah, you can tell that they didn't have a lot of budget. And I think what he, with the amount of money that he had available, he milked it, right?

Speaker 2 The acting is incredible.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 And I'm just going to tell you what just the short synopsis of what it is, right? How about do that without giving anything away? Shorts, just give me the half. Just give it away.

Speaker 2 Or because the reason why is because the ending is the one that thing that bothers you. Yeah.
Right. Okay.
May I? Yes. All right.

Speaker 2 Acting amazing. Okay.
So basically, it's like they hear like, you know, he's a radio DJ. Yeah, I could tell you.
And she's a phone operator person. Right.

Speaker 2 So I guess back in the day, you know what I mean? If you had to call somebody, you had to plug it in. Operator.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'll hook you up. Right.
And do that. Right.
So she's hearing like a little like

Speaker 2 noises, alien noises. Oh, cool.

Speaker 2 Right. Right.

Speaker 2 And he tells her, she goes, have you heard this before? to the DJ.

Speaker 2 And then he puts it out, on the stage. Hey, y'all, listening right now, you ever hear this? Right? People start calling, we've heard it before, whatever, whatever, right?

Speaker 2 So at the end of the day, they go through this whole thing. And at the end of the movie, right,

Speaker 2 they go in the forest, right? These two,

Speaker 2 and they see a flying saucer. Cool.
That's it.

Speaker 2 What? What?

Speaker 2 That's it. No aliens? Bro, bro, bro, bro, bro.
Bro, bro, bro, bro.

Speaker 2 I've seen every X-Files episode. Yeah, X-Files X-Files is a great show.
If you're going to do a fucking movie, anything pertaining to aliens, it's got to be better than an X-Files episode.

Speaker 2 X-Files is awesome. I love X-Files.
Yeah, so what do you mean? Oh, you mean you asked? I'm just saying, if you're going to do a fucking feature, you write something. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Can I see the alien?

Speaker 2 Is there a love story? Is that probably the A-story?

Speaker 2 They get fucking zapped into the fucking A and they fly away. Do they make love at some point? They probably fuck up there, but she's 16.
Oh, gross. What? No, this is high school kids.
You asked me.

Speaker 2 I don't know. I'm just assuming.
But is it a kid love story? Are they falling in love with? No. He's like an adult.
She's a kid. Oh, so this is a weird.
I don't like this at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 It's like a grown man who's like, hey, phone plug girl. But like Chris Duckman, who's one of my favorite YouTube reviewers,

Speaker 2 I've asked him on Instagram to do Tiger Bell. He never responded.
Doesn't want to do it. Why do they do that? Honestly, because I think some people don't care.

Speaker 2 Some people are like, I don't want to do podcasts.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but the thing is, I've asked people and it's like um who's the biggest person you've asked and they and they didn't and they kind of blew you off

Speaker 2 oh there's a lot uh Stephen Yoon but what's one that you like you really it hurt your feelings that they blew Stephen Yoon Stephen Yoon let's call him out right now Stephen Yoon hurt me Ken Jung hurt me yeah but we've known that Ali Wong hurt me yeah right yeah I asked those what's the trend where they're Asian what's the trend they're Asians they're Asian Asians yeah not as loyal as we once thought

Speaker 2 yeah yeah why did Ali Wong let you know Allie doesn't do podcasts. She doesn't do podcasts.
But she doesn't do anybody's podcast. It'd be weird if she did some, but if she did like a podcast.
Oh,

Speaker 2 if she did other people's podcasts and I didn't do mine,

Speaker 2 I would. What?

Speaker 2 She's never. No, I would do.
I would. It would be war.
I know she hasn't. Conan O'Brien.
I would start a war. Oh, she did one with Conan.

Speaker 2 I get that, though. Yeah, yeah, he's a gigantic talk show.
Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But if she did. Oh, 36 Alley Wong podcast interviews.

Speaker 2 Wow. No, really? It says it right there.
36? 36 of Ali Wong podcasts.

Speaker 2 You're not your mom's book club. Dear girls.
Oh, dear girls is at her show.

Speaker 2 Does she have a podcast now? All Wong with

Speaker 2 Kari Asad?

Speaker 2 What is this, George? Anyway, anyway,

Speaker 2 she doesn't do it. She doesn't do our podcast.
She doesn't do friends podcasts. No.
No. Like, if she had done yours and didn't do mine, I would have a problem.
Well, her and I aren't close like that.

Speaker 2 That wouldn't even exist. I mean, like allie and i are cool but you guys you know her more than i do

Speaker 2 i knew her when she wasn't even a comedian so all she's done is three truly that's the real number

Speaker 2 conan wait wait don't tell me and idiot something george pause on something so i can read it idiot with chris hardwick okay she did hardwick wait wait don't tell me which is massive and conan yeah that makes sense right do you know hardwick i love him I don't know him well, but I like him.

Speaker 2 Nice guy. He's doing the ball drop show again.
Really?

Speaker 2 You know the balls that dropped from the thing and the money good yeah I saw a couple I like him just because I remember like he's always been nice to me yeah at a gas station once and I was like three pumps away and he hey man and he came up to the you know would you have come up to him I saw him before yeah I saw him before he saw me

Speaker 2 why do you get nervous like that I always avoid I always see people and I avoid it

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Speaker 2 Rules and restrictions apply. There you go.
Like, you know, small talk. I don't like small talk.
I don't like,

Speaker 2 there was also a time where it was like, when you have no, especially when you run into people in the industry and you really have nothing going on,

Speaker 2 I just didn't want to, you know what I mean? What are you about to do? Oh, I just played the Chuckle Fuck Factory in Idaho. I don't want to fucking say that.

Speaker 2 I do understand when you, it's both people going, what's going on? You're like, what's going on? Yeah, because people rattle off like shit they're doing. Oh, I just sold a show to HBO.

Speaker 2 And you're like, that's what they open with. And you're like, oh, you know.
Well, see, nothing bothers me more. And there's a few people that we both know that do this.

Speaker 2 And you go, hey, man, what's up? And they're like, oh, man. And

Speaker 2 they just vomit out their new resume. Right.
And you're like, I just said fucking hi. Or they do this.
This is the worst what they do.

Speaker 2 Where there's a couple of guys where I go, what's up? And they'll go, man, you're killing it. You know, don't you ever have a break? Right.
And they start rattling things that you're doing.

Speaker 2 It's like, dude, we're not. Yeah.
This is real life here, baby. See, when people do that to me, like, do it to me, like, do that right now.
Like, watch, you're that guy. Now, what?

Speaker 2 This is how I react when I go, hey, dude, what's going on? Hey, Andrew. Oh, my God.
Davey, dude, killing it.

Speaker 2 And whiskey, ginger, man, and bad friends.

Speaker 2 It made me so angry. Can you imagine if I'm not? Yeah, yeah.
Let me try it. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Your way, though, all right? Yeah, I get it.

Speaker 2 Go ahead.

Speaker 2 You say hi to me in this fucking scenario.

Speaker 2 You start the thing.

Speaker 2 I don't want to start it, though. No, you say hi, and then I, because you, that was.

Speaker 2 All right, all right. Where are we at, though? Um, we are, oh, we, I'm at a gas station.
We're pumping at a gas station. All right, but this is, I'm going to play it real.
Okay, play for real.

Speaker 2 This is the way I would do it. All right.

Speaker 2 Okay, play for real.

Speaker 2 Just give me a second. All right.
I'm just playing it real, all right? I don't think that you would look at me like that. Yes, I would.
You would be like, it's not me. I'm playing a guy.

Speaker 2 I know, but you're playing another guy, but I don't think any guy would look at me. I know how I'm playing the guy.
I know, but don't look at me. I'm gonna test my afternoon.
shields.

Speaker 2 I know what the guy is. All right.
All right, here we go. Hold on, hold on.
I need a second. I need a second.
Right?

Speaker 2 So I have to think in, right? Me too. I'm already here.
I've been already here.

Speaker 2 I'm already here. You just started.
All right. Okay, ready? I'm pumping.

Speaker 2 Oh, shit.

Speaker 2 Bob. Bobby.
Yeah, I start. Oh.

Speaker 2 I know. I've been.

Speaker 2 You parked it up. Sorry.
I start. Okay.

Speaker 2 Fuck.

Speaker 2 Fuck.

Speaker 2 Good.

Speaker 2 Hey.

Speaker 2 Oh, Bob.

Speaker 2 Hey, man.

Speaker 2 Clark. Hey.
Clarky. Good to see you.
What's up? Hey, dude. Whoa.
Are you killing it right now? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Bad friend. Yeah.
Magnum PI. Yeah.
Is that what you did? Yeah, you copied me. That's what I was just going to do what you did.
Yeah, no, why did you copy me?

Speaker 2 You said you were going to play it for real.

Speaker 2 Play it for real. Oh, what I would do.
Yes. Oh, I didn't know.
I thought you said to do it the way you did it. No, you're supposed to do it your way.

Speaker 2 All right. Well, then, if we did it my way,

Speaker 2 we would never

Speaker 2 talk.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, right. All right,

Speaker 2 okay, right.

Speaker 2 This is the way I would do it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Hey, man, Clarky. Oh, Bob.
What's up, man? I'll tell you what's up, man. You are killing it.
Bad friends, magnum PI. I mean, you got to Zoe Lister Jones.
You're doing so much stuff right now.

Speaker 2 You're absolutely exploding right now.

Speaker 2 Man, you got to be doing well. That's incredible.

Speaker 2 Bad Friends and Tiger Belly is like murdering. It's like the hypocrite's like, what? Zoe died.

Speaker 2 Zoe Lister Jones died? Yeah, yeah. We both did.

Speaker 2 You're right here. We both.
That's why you don't make small talk. I don't do it.
I don't know. Because it doesn't work.
No, no, no, no, no. You're not a small talk guy.
I can't do it. I always say hi.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Even if it's somebody that I know is going to trap me in a conversation I don't want to be in. Yeah.
Because it's like you got to, you have to do it. You have to go.
You don't have to. That's why

Speaker 2 you do. Because they see you and that's bad.
No, I always avoid. But they see you.

Speaker 2 What? I'm sure they see you. Yeah.
I did this one. I was with my cousin Jenny once, and she didn't know.
So I walked in to pay for gas, right? And I ran into my buddy, right? His name was Ben.

Speaker 2 I go,

Speaker 2 my cousin's in the car she doesn't know that we know each other so i'm gonna go back over there and pick a fight with me right yeah and i'll go i'm gonna punch you so hard in the stomach right he's a big guy too he's like all right yeah so i um you know i i do the gas and then he comes with so fucking chink like he goes strong he goes like really too strong right to the point where i was like what but it was it worked because i got what what'd you say yeah you fucking chink cook cool chink cool chink chink right i go what the fuck say to my face he goes ooh duh,

Speaker 2 comes up to me. And I went, like that, he fell to the ground.
He started doing convulsions.

Speaker 2 I got in the car and my fucking cousin was like, wow. Thought you were so tough.
You're a real man, huh? You're right. You're Tom.
Tough guy.

Speaker 2 You never told her? Never told her. Jenny.
Until now. Jenny, pay attention.
Until now.

Speaker 2 It was fake. Oh.

Speaker 2 I want to say something. Remember that song we played for you? Yeah.
That lo-fi stuff? I love that song.

Speaker 2 There's a comic named Whitmer Thomas. Do you you know Wit?

Speaker 2 The fucking man. Wit had put up a song today, and I thought this was.
Oh, you know that guy? Yeah, Whitmer. Yeah, Whitmer Thomas.

Speaker 2 It started, play it from the beginning. He, this is a song that he originally composed here during this is this sound that sums up what the pandemic has been for everybody to me.
It's short and quick.

Speaker 2 It's great, and I fucking love it. Make a cup of coffee and water the plant.
Text my dad and pay my rent. Try to write something even if it's shit.

Speaker 2 Watch a fucking movie you ain't seen yet. Check in with friends, the ammonium.
Clean the kitchen counter, even though it's clean. Sit in the sun and try to sweat.

Speaker 2 Break through all furrows and shave my head.

Speaker 2 Let's become a bottomless hole.

Speaker 2 Squeeze the drug from myself.

Speaker 2 Try to relate, try to self-motivate. But you can't fight the rigmarole.
No, no, no. You can't fight the rhythm or roll.

Speaker 2 I love him.

Speaker 2 I love him. Pretty good.
I think he's so great. Yeah.
That's the kind of stuff that sums up the pandemic to me. Alone in your house on a green screen.
Yeah. Guitar, keyboard.

Speaker 2 It's, you know.

Speaker 2 Life's become a bottomless hole. It's funny.
We've been so conditioned to live like this for the last. It's been almost now a year.
It has been. No, it has been.
It's coming up on a year, right?

Speaker 2 Imagine a year. I haven't done stand-up in a year.

Speaker 2 Think how good you'll be when you get back. Bad.
Yeah, it'd be bad. Yeah.
But won't it be fun to be bad? Oh, I can't wait because I'm just

Speaker 2 I'm gonna start anew. But um

Speaker 2 you are? Yeah, I'm gonna start new. Are you gonna put anything down? I'm not I'm literally not gonna do any old I don't know the old jokes.

Speaker 2 But I'm saying you should put down the old jokes on a tape or something like put them on

Speaker 2 My stuff is garbage. No, it's not Let me make a suggestion.
I'll tell you why look at me

Speaker 2 when people say that it's so funny because I did some of my old jokes on a when I did the Montreal Comedy Festival. Yeah.
And it's online. Some of them.
No, it was a stand-up show that I did.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but not an hour. I know, but it was still six minutes.
It got three views. Okay.
No one gives a shit. Can I suggest something and you can say no? What?

Speaker 2 Take away the.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 What if you record record all your old jokes that you're going to throw away? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay. Yeah.
Record them all. Yeah.
And print them on records

Speaker 2 and print 25 of them.

Speaker 2 Like a small amount, right? And sell them for charity. Okay.
That's a good thing. Is that a good idea? Can we talk back to the pandemic, though? It makes you nervous.
Yeah, it does. Don't be nervous.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you make me nervous.

Speaker 2 Don't do that. Don't transition into something that's not true because you're uncomfortable with what's going on with your name.
You make me nervous. About what?

Speaker 2 Why? See, that's why. What do you mean? No, because I feel like you're going to bring up stuff that's going to like be, because you know my.
I'm not going to bring up insecurities.

Speaker 2 I know, but I'm just saying, you know. I'm being very supportive.

Speaker 2 I'm just saying that you know, I know your spots. I know, but I'm not touching any spots.

Speaker 2 But you know where my spots are within my body is, right? And sometimes. I'm an emotional massage therapist.
Yeah, no, but sometimes you'll say things and it's like around the spot, right?

Speaker 2 You're not really in the spot. You're not hitting it.
I know, but you're around it, right? But the spot gets, it pulsates. Okay.
Okay. You know what?

Speaker 2 We can move on to the next thing, but I was just saying. I want to talk about the pandemic, you fuck.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. Thank you.
You're right. You've been a great guy.
Thank you. And I apologize.
I love you.

Speaker 2 I don't want to get into this. But I don't want to talk.
You know why I don't want to talk about the pandy?

Speaker 2 Because you don't want to bring this guy fucking back on. What do you mean? Whitmer's the shit.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 Oh, tell me. Tell me.
What are you saying? No, I'm just in general. Yeah.
You know? Tell me. It's just that we don't.

Speaker 2 It's just odd that in the last year, it just went by, and it's like that our society and everything, I don't know how to do anything anymore. In terms of what?

Speaker 2 Just in terms of like, I don't know what it's like to meet people or have conversations with people i don't talk to people but you didn't do that quite much when it wasn't i guess i didn't

Speaker 2 you didn't you weren't really a super social butterfly when it was yeah but i still knew how to i'll be honest with you like when jeff scott died yeah

Speaker 2 we talked about it right yeah it just is really sad i know yeah so it's like little things like that it's like jeff scott died and it's like i wish you know that

Speaker 2 number one i believe that without the pandemic that he could still be alive. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, the only thing I heard, and I'll say this, is that Jeff, people know he's the beloved, was the beloved piano player for the comedy store for 25 years.

Speaker 2 The only thing that might have contributed to his death, and I'm not spreading rumors, but I'm just saying maybe, was I had heard that Jeff was friends with a fair amount of people from the Hoover Crip gang.

Speaker 2 He rolled deep with a gang from the Hoover Crips in south central Los Angeles.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 no,

Speaker 2 I almost believe. No, I know, I know.
I was thinking about it. You know what I mean? But I sold it well.
Yeah, but Jeff was also the whitest guy you've ever met.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the gay pianist from the comic store was not rolling with Hoover Cripps. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But can you imagine?

Speaker 2 Oh, that would be amazing. In a drive-by, he's playing the piano in the car.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. What's up, fool? He's like,

Speaker 2 yeah, he was a great. But my point is, so

Speaker 2 and I miss him very fucking much. Let's go back to the, and it's just.

Speaker 2 You think he would have survived had the pandemic not happened? Yeah, there's other people like I um

Speaker 2 you know

Speaker 2 I think that a lot of young comics got fucked too. Oh my god, so many people, how about just people got fucked?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I had I had a kid call me, you know, Dylan, the fat gay guy, Dylan, yeah, you didn't have to tag those, you could have just said Dylan, the kid who used to work at a comic store.

Speaker 2 He moved, he's in Austin, right? So he called me, he's like, I don't know what to do or Austin or where'd he move to? Went to Texas. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because I don't know what to do because, you know, I'm not making any money here and my dream is here. But

Speaker 2 he went with Tony Hinchley. Don Hilly, biggie.
Yeah. Yeah, those guys moved down there for the Rogan train.
I know. What do you think of that? So many people.
I know. I don't even want to go.

Speaker 2 Tim Dylan's moving down there. I know.
You want to go? To Austin? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Look, I don't.

Speaker 2 I don't. We just got our houses now.
Yeah, we just got our houses.

Speaker 2 I mean, at the end of the day, it's. We just got our houses.
Yeah, it's like I'm paying mortgage on my house. I'm not.

Speaker 2 Here's my other thing. If

Speaker 2 this sounds crazy, and I'm going to say this, and I mean this.

Speaker 2 Everyone's like, you don't need to stay in LA. You don't need to be in LA.
Okay, fine. I get it.
I don't need to be in LA to do what we do. Kind of.
You do. You do.
Because those guys...

Speaker 2 They say that, but they don't have to do that. Also, those guys, right? Guys like Tony and those guys, they don't have like dreams.

Speaker 2 You and I.

Speaker 2 They don't have dreams. No, they don't have dreams.

Speaker 2 No, no, they don't work in Hollywood hospitals. But they don't want to

Speaker 2 get on a movie or TV or act. Right.
They're not actors. And that's why, not that I'm an actor, but I like doing it.
And it's a part of my, it's a part of what I do, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Right.
So it's like, I like the challenge of it. Right.
Those guys aren't in the. That's what I'm saying.
They're not in the acting side of Hollywood. And they want to be, some of them.

Speaker 2 I think a lot of them don't. Yeah, but some of them do.
I don't know if Tony, Tony, I don't think he goes out for stuff like that.

Speaker 2 But he's had said stuff that I mean, like, I can't get anything. Oh, I didn't know he goes out.
I just didn't know how much he goes out.

Speaker 2 But I mean, like Segura, he doesn't, he acts only if they ask him. Yeah, yeah.
Right? So they're moving down there. Yeah.

Speaker 2 tim dylan does i mean he tim does whatever the he wants which is why he's genuinely killing it harder than anybody else in the comedy game i mean it no no one is funnier and puts out more consistent yeah than tim dylan yeah um

Speaker 2 i mean who else has moved out i mean you know i'm sure whitney will probably go down there you know yeah dude at some point i think all those people will go down there me and you are gonna be the only people in la

Speaker 2 but then what happens when the clubs open back and we own la

Speaker 2 you and me chang we're running this town How great would that be? You and me in L.A.? Yeah. I did cross over the hill today to go to get tested again.
I'm getting tested seven days a week. I know.

Speaker 2 It's insane. Great.
Every day. I crossed the hill to go get tested because I went over to the studio that

Speaker 2 our production office is.

Speaker 2 Today is one of the first days that restaurants are allowed to be open again. Do you know that? We're in purple mode or whatever.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 No restaurants have patios open now because it's raining here in LA.

Speaker 2 Denny's. A line down the block.
No.

Speaker 2 People were begging to eat outside at Danny's. That's how much people wanted to be outside.
Wow. They were just like, please,

Speaker 2 do I hear something? Oh.

Speaker 2 She's watching something on her phone. Yeah, she is.
She was. She was.
I'm not.

Speaker 2 She was. I'm not.
I'm not.

Speaker 2 Wait, wait, when you raise your voice. Yeah, she does get snapped.
Yeah, yeah. What do you, that's Sir Andrew Santino.
Surrender your phone to Tito right now. Surrender your phone.

Speaker 2 The rest of the episode is going to be about you. Surrender your phone right now.

Speaker 2 Do it.

Speaker 2 I want you to talk to her now. I want to tell her about her behavior.
I want to see if I can... Damn it.
Just pass code? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Wait, is that the Grateful Dead case? Yeah. Are you a Grateful Dead fan? No.
No. No.
Can you name any members of the Grateful Dead? No. Not one.

Speaker 2 Not even the main guy that died. No, I just.
Four fingers on one hand. No.

Speaker 2 I just like the...

Speaker 2 We're going to give you a hint. Yeah.
Because you're actually very good at guessing names. Yeah, yeah.
Remember when she guessed the vice president and the president-elect? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Let's see who the man who was in the Grateful Dead. He passed away.
He was a leader, the lead singer.

Speaker 2 His name was what? It starts with a J.

Speaker 2 George. George? George, yes.
What's his last name? Who is that? That's pretty good.

Speaker 2 The last name is Hispanic.

Speaker 2 I would say, what region,

Speaker 2 what Hispanic region, Andres? Why are you laughing? It's a very common Spanish last name. What is it, Andres? It's a very common Spanish last name everywhere in France.
Yeah, it's very common.

Speaker 2 Yeah, correct. But make it comedy next time.
Yes.

Speaker 2 I was setting him up. I gave him like a.

Speaker 2 I gave the guy an alley oop. I was like,

Speaker 2 what Latin region could this free from?

Speaker 2 A five-minute fucking break, and then he goes.

Speaker 2 A very Spanish.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God, dude. Lie next time.

Speaker 2 Chile.

Speaker 2 It's a Chilean last name.

Speaker 2 George what?

Speaker 2 George

Speaker 2 Trinidad.

Speaker 2 Trinidad?

Speaker 2 How do you know that?

Speaker 2 It's not correct. Yes, it is.
It is. George Trinidad.
George Trinidad was the lead singer.

Speaker 2 Grateful Dead.

Speaker 2 That's impressive.

Speaker 2 Bring up a picture of George Trinidad, please.

Speaker 2 How did you know that? Did they text you? Images. Where is George Trinidad?

Speaker 2 There he is. George Trinidad.
There he is. There he is.

Speaker 2 He died. He was the lead singer of The Grateful Dead.
Four fingers on one hand. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And now show the picture beneath that picture of the two guys right beneath it, right beneath him.

Speaker 2 No, no, no.

Speaker 2 There it is. Yeah, there it is.
That's the other. That's the other members.
The other members of the Grateful Dead. The Grateful Dead.

Speaker 2 Can you name? Well, look, it says that Peter and George. Okay, it says Peter and George, who you know, George Trinidad and Peter Blythe.
Who's the third member? Do you know?

Speaker 2 Starts with a C. C.

Speaker 2 Carlos. Carlos.
Carlos, yeah. What's his last name? It's very easy.
Easy.

Speaker 2 The last name starts with an X. Carlos.

Speaker 2 X.

Speaker 2 Carlos. Sen.

Speaker 2 Carlos Sen.

Speaker 2 Carlos Zen.

Speaker 2 Carlos Zen.

Speaker 2 Zantilias. Zantilias.
Carlos Zantilias. Pull up Carlos Zantilias, please.
And there he is.

Speaker 2 The third member. Click on it, George.
That's the third member of the Grateful Dead. Carlos Antilius.
Yep, there he is. And what instrument did Carlos play? He played the triangle and the bongos.

Speaker 2 And let me say something about him, right? Triangle and the bongos, right? There he is. There's Carlos Antilius.
Carlos Antilius was triangle and the bongos. But he invented, right?

Speaker 2 He invented the plastic triangle. Did he really? Yeah, because usually triangles were played with metal, right? Always, right.
Metallic, right? But his was made out of plastic.

Speaker 2 It was much bigger, and it was yellow, purple, and a fluorescent green,

Speaker 2 right? And he used

Speaker 2 the stick was colorful. I don't know what it was.
Yeah, it was almost like a, you remember it, like a barbershop rap? You know, it had like a wrap to it, yeah. Right?

Speaker 2 And he would, when the Grateful Dad would play it, right?

Speaker 2 Like, it would be rhythmic.

Speaker 2 Right, right? And they would go, right? And then he would drop it.

Speaker 2 The bomb goes.

Speaker 2 They were so good. They were very good.
He would do that for 45 minutes. They would jam in G major for 45 minutes.
Straight. Straight.

Speaker 2 I mean, have you seen a triangle fucking solo? It's raw. A 20-minute triangle solar is, yeah, it fucks up, puts up the ears,

Speaker 2 at some point, people come running for dinner.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 2 are you now going to know enough about Grateful Dead when somebody sees your phone case and goes, hey, do you know about the Grateful Dead? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And so the three members are

Speaker 2 George Trinidad

Speaker 2 Carlos Centilias

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 Peter

Speaker 2 Mulave.

Speaker 2 Well, it's Blythe, but Mulave is correct.

Speaker 2 Mulave is actually kind of a stage name for him. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And the genre of music was? His. The genre of music?

Speaker 2 Rock. Rock.
Rock. And

Speaker 2 blues. Rock and blues, baby.

Speaker 2 Yeah, blues or rock. Either way, you can see.
They're interchangeable.

Speaker 2 You can juggle either of them.

Speaker 2 I want to show you something because I learned something very recently. The sperm is the hot new wrinkle treatment.
Do you know that? No. Seriously, people are using sperm as new.
This is real.

Speaker 2 People are using sperm as facial treatment. Really? Did you put stuff on your face at night? Sperm.

Speaker 2 Whose? Mine.

Speaker 2 Have you really? Is this sperm? Yeah, sperm. It's like a new thing.
So you put it on your wrinkles. Women will put...

Speaker 2 There's like certain kinds of sperm that people put on their face overnight.

Speaker 2 It's not human sperm. Sure is.

Speaker 2 But what's certain kind?

Speaker 2 Stuff that they can't use. You know, if you go to sperm bank, they can't use all of your sperm.
You know that, right? Right. So if it's not good sperm, it gets in these things.

Speaker 2 And if it's not good for birth, it's good for this. But can I just give like Kalila my own calm and she can put it on her?

Speaker 2 Sure can.

Speaker 2 And it will work? Sure will.

Speaker 2 Really? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Rudy, what do you have?

Speaker 2 I think I'm going to tell you.

Speaker 2 So this is

Speaker 2 so we can improve. Check how Rudy's doing with her improv skills.
Oh, right, yeah, because she is lacking tremendously.

Speaker 2 So she's going to read a story just from her cards.

Speaker 2 Now, and you guys have three minutes to ask her questions to determine if it's a real story or a fake story. Okay.
Very good. Fun.
Very good.

Speaker 2 Okay. So you have to learn how to sell whatever you're selling.
Okay. Okay.

Speaker 2 I cheated on an exam and got an A. The person I cheated from got a B plus.

Speaker 2 Look at me in the face.

Speaker 2 Hmm. Huh.
What subject was it? What kind of test was it? Math.

Speaker 2 Malef?

Speaker 2 She's just called just math now? Isn't there like a... Is it algebra or something? No? We call it math in the Philippines.

Speaker 2 There's no like specific. There's only math one, two, three, four.

Speaker 2 What's the name of the person you cheated off of? Liz.

Speaker 2 Liz. The Filipino girl, Liz.
Yeah. What's her last name? Tan.
Liz Tan.

Speaker 2 Listen? Pretty good. Listen? Yeah.
Liz Tan. All right, so we have to guess now if she's.
Is that real or if she's live? You guys have three minutes to ask questions. So you can go deeper.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but what? All right, we'll go deeper. I see.
There's two. Yeah.
All right.

Speaker 2 Liz Tan. How many people are in the class? 32.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but that's not standard. Liz Tan, what about Liz Tan? I want to know about Liz Tan.

Speaker 2 How tall is Liz Tan?

Speaker 2 She's 5'4.

Speaker 2 Hmm. 5'4.
How old is she?

Speaker 2 Um, 18. Is she ugly? No, she's really pretty.
She is? Yes. Are you jealous? No, she's my friend.
Who's her boyfriend?

Speaker 2 Before, at the time, it was Vijay. Vijay? Vijay Singh.
The golfer? The 65-year-old golfer? No. Vijay who? Vijay Danielle.
What does her dad do for a living? What does her dad do do for a living?

Speaker 2 Her dad is a businessman. What business? He makes cardboards

Speaker 2 yeah it's true really who makes cardboard what do you mean he just makes cardboard yeah yeah yeah like boxes yeah boxes wow what is it what does the mom do she's a doctor

Speaker 2 wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait so the mom is a doctor and that's not bringing enough enough cash yeah so he decides i'm gonna make cardboard boxes

Speaker 2 three minutes up okay

Speaker 2 first of all that's a that's a lie you didn't cheat in it isn't it is that true i lied but the mom and dad was true. That was real? Yeah.
The mom is a doctor, and the dad makes boxes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and Liz is true. Here's a better game.
Let's create a better game, all right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 How about we assign you, you're a professor. No, see, that's how you're scared.

Speaker 2 You're a professor, right?

Speaker 2 And we're going to tell you what you're an expert on. And we're going to ask you questions about things, and you have to answer the questions, make it up, right?

Speaker 2 And be confident about what you're saying.

Speaker 2 all right this is a good bit this is a good bit let's see how good let's see how good jules is an improv yeah so you're a history you're a history professor yeah yeah right and the industrial revolution is your

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 2 really

Speaker 2 that's so hard i know

Speaker 2 she can make it up let's see if she can yeah do you have enough re okay okay here we go so we're two students after class yeah and we're we have questions about the homework yeah

Speaker 2 maybe not the uh industrial revolution what do you want to do she's just a a history. What about she's just a history teacher? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Hi, hi,

Speaker 2 Miss Kuhn. Thanks for asking having us.
We just had some questions.

Speaker 2 Yeah, about today's lessons and whatnot. Yeah.
You know,

Speaker 2 so

Speaker 2 the Declaration of Independence, just can you who signed it?

Speaker 2 The Declaration of Independence was signed by

Speaker 2 Abraham Lincoln.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 it was after.

Speaker 2 I don't know. It's a bomby wait.

Speaker 2 All right. Who's Tito Bobby? Let's stop.
When you're okay, all right.

Speaker 2 There is, there is no wrong answer. Yeah.
Because you're making it up. Yeah.
Right. But you have to, you can't pause like that.
You just, whatever you're saying

Speaker 2 is a fact. It's a fact.
Okay. Let's try it again.
It's a fact. Okay.
Let's try it again. Ask her another different question.
All right.

Speaker 2 Miss Kuhn.

Speaker 2 Kuhn. Oh, sorry.
Sorry, my bad. Sorry, my bad.

Speaker 2 My bad. We just get nervous.
We get so nervous because you're so smarter than us.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 2 and I'm not smart, but in the World War II,

Speaker 2 who were the countries involved again?

Speaker 2 I don't remember who was in it. The countries that were involved were Japan,

Speaker 2 US, our country. Our country.
Yes. Yeah.
Germany. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Hawaii. Hawaii.
Hawaii was.

Speaker 2 They weren't a part of our country? Oh, yeah, they were part.

Speaker 2 Brazil? Yeah, Brazil. Brazil? Brazil was a part of the war.

Speaker 2 Okay, that's interesting. So how did Brazil get involved in that war? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Our president.

Speaker 2 Who was our president during the war? Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 2 Franklin Roosevelt. Franklin Roosevelt.
Okay, yeah. He went to Brazil

Speaker 2 and asked the president if he could help us bomb Germany. Who was the president of Brazil? Yeah, Brazil.
Who was the president of Brazil at the time? It was

Speaker 2 Jose

Speaker 2 Gregory.

Speaker 2 Jose Gregory. I read him.
I remember him. I read his bio.
Wait, wait, Jose Gregory, didn't he do something before becoming president of Brazil? Yeah. What was his first job? Or his job?

Speaker 2 I think he was a janitor.

Speaker 2 He went from janitor to president. Yes.

Speaker 2 I remember that. I remember that.
I remember that. Yeah, yeah.
Do you have any questions? Because when somebody wins the lottery in this country, you just pulled the Jose Kager breakery.

Speaker 2 He used that term. Yeah, yeah.
Wait.

Speaker 2 You have a question for yourself. Oh, I do.
So

Speaker 2 during the war, right?

Speaker 2 So the Japan were with the Germans, right? Yeah. Yes.
What was the Japan's fleet called?

Speaker 2 Yeah, what were they called? The Japan's fleet was called...

Speaker 2 Akatsuke

Speaker 2 fleet. Atskatsuke.
What does Otsukatsuke mean? Akatsuke means rogue.

Speaker 2 Rogue. The rogue fleet.
Yes. That's interesting.
That's tight. That's tight, right? That's cool.
You should create a band called that. The Akatsuke Fleet.
Yeah. I really like that.
I really like that.

Speaker 2 I have one more history question for you. Yeah.
Of course.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 now this is embarrassing. I don't know.

Speaker 2 Stupid, but

Speaker 2 at the turn of the century, you know, Y2K. Yeah.
This recent century.

Speaker 2 They said computers were going to stop. Remember that? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Why?

Speaker 2 Computers were going to stop because

Speaker 2 our government

Speaker 2 put something in the chip.

Speaker 2 That's it. So our government...
Let me get this train. Whoa.

Speaker 2 You're blowing my mind. Let me get this train.

Speaker 2 Let me get this. How complex.

Speaker 2 How complex. Our government.
Diabolical.

Speaker 2 So our country.

Speaker 2 We put a chip. Uh-huh.
Our government put a chip in the computer.

Speaker 2 Oh, in what? Which computer? Yeah, what computer did it put in?

Speaker 2 All computer products. Right.
So, oh,

Speaker 2 diabolical. Wow.
So our government went to Macintosh. What? Hewlett-Packard.

Speaker 2 So our government went to Macintosh, Hewlett-Packard, Apple, Apple's Macintosh, right? We're the same thing. And they specifically put unbeknownst to the companies,

Speaker 2 a government chip. Yeah.
And what was the purpose of this chip?

Speaker 2 To stop and maybe make the computers

Speaker 2 alive.

Speaker 2 Oh, singularity. Okay, so then

Speaker 2 why didn't it work? Why didn't it work?

Speaker 2 This technician that works for the government.

Speaker 2 What was his name? He was.

Speaker 2 His name was

Speaker 2 John

Speaker 2 Arkansas.

Speaker 2 John Arkansas. John Arkansas.
Well, it's just the state. Yeah.
Yeah. And

Speaker 2 the country.

Speaker 2 Is it a country or a state?

Speaker 2 State.

Speaker 2 So John Arkansas, he was the one that put the chips on all the computers? Yes, but he made an error, and that's why it didn't work. What was the error? What was it? He was coding, and he put

Speaker 2 penis.

Speaker 2 He wrote penis in the coding. And it didn't work.
So are you telling us

Speaker 2 that penis saved us all in the year 2000? Yeah. Yeah, wow.

Speaker 2 John Arkansas, a chip from the government. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Wow. You know what?

Speaker 2 What does Y2K stand for? Oh, what does that stand for?

Speaker 2 Yeah, then.

Speaker 2 Your.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Cause

Speaker 2 Rudy, you did great. It's a great job.
Give it up for Rude for the. Sounds good.
Take your phone back. Rudy, get your phone back.
And you know the Grateful Dead members now. Yes.
All right.

Speaker 2 Let's look look at the camera and say it. Thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 2 You hear about a kid, right? Yeah. Who's great at football, right? In high school, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's a quarterback.

Speaker 2 He's a quarterback. All right, he's a quarterback, right?

Speaker 2 And it's now tryouts, right, for the college. Yeah.
Right. I'm a college scout.
What college?

Speaker 2 WMBA. That's the college? Yes.
All right.

Speaker 2 And WNBA, I'm the fucking university head of the sports division. Got it.
Okay.

Speaker 2 I hear about this night, Clarice Montuso. I love Clarice Montuso.
Yeah, yeah, he's a quarterback from high school, from Oxnard High School. 6'8.
He's 6'8. 225.
Exactly. Pure muscle.

Speaker 2 Yeah, pure muscle, right? Yeah. And

Speaker 2 he gets, every time he throws a ball, it goes right into the tight end.

Speaker 2 Right in the chest. Or the wide receiver.

Speaker 2 The end, I mean.

Speaker 2 A wide receiver. No, it goes to the, what do you do when you score?

Speaker 2 In the end zone? End zone. End zone.
It goes to the end zone. Well, the tight end could catch it and put it in the end.
Sometimes he does. You think the end was called the tight end? Yes.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Okay, so every time it goes right in the tight end.

Speaker 2 And so I hear about this Matuza guy, right?

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I'm seeing him scrimmage, right, with the boys, right?

Speaker 2 Hut, hike. And he throws the ball, right? in back of them.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
I'm like, I heard this guy was good, you know know what I mean? And I know that he has another, he's on a team with my other friend, my guy knows Andrew, yeah, right?

Speaker 2 So, let's do it again. A guy go set, reset, right, on the go to the 20-yard line, second snap, right? Hight hut, right? He spins it on his head, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, like

Speaker 2 spins it right and just kind of walks around in a circle, like

Speaker 2 right, right. And then, cut, well, I don't know what they say, you know what I mean? No, they don't cut, and they don't say cut, right?

Speaker 2 I don't know what they say, you don't cut, so then I go, and then I'm like a little, hey, man. Come on, man.
This is real, man. This is for the college.
This is for the WNBA.

Speaker 2 Right? Right? He's like, I'm doing it. I'm trying.
Yeah. At that point, I want to be like, it was all hype.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so my tape, right?

Speaker 2 The tape that I sent this morning

Speaker 2 is that. Timeout.
Yeah, yeah. Rudy.

Speaker 2 How was the tape spinning a ball on his head, or was it throwing it in the tight end?

Speaker 2 It was throwing in the tight end. Very good.
Yeah, yeah.