
New Year, Same Bobby and Andrew
Listen and Follow Along
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George? I got it. You two are bad friends.
We're bad friends.
Happy New Year.
Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999.
We started?
We're not starting yet.
I'll tell you why we're not starting yet.
Why not?
Because I almost didn't make it today because I got one of these zits underneath underneath the nose let me see oh yeah it looks good yeah and you know when it's right on the nose like this it's the most painful one no the one that are on the nose that's right next to the nose yeah okay the ones on the nose this is second though can you tell me if this is it can i show you something your face no look at this
yeah we see This is second, though. Can you tell me if this is a zit? Can I show you something? Your face? No, look at this.
Yeah, let me see. I'm serious.
Can you see it? No, that's not a zit, dude. What is it? It's a spider bite? No, you know what that looks like? What? You know how they put the cups on the body to extract? Yes.
That's what it looks like. Does it? Or a leech was there.
What about me? What about me? Let me see. What about me? Let me see.
Right here. Yeah, see, you know what? That looks like a zit.
Yeah, yeah. It's my asshole.
It's my asshole. Hey.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Happy New Year.
Happy New Year. We're not going into that yet.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. No, no.
We're not just that. Dee, Dee, Dee, Dee, Dee, Dee, Dee, Dee, Dee, Dee, Jay.
All right. It's the remix for the New Year.
It's good. It's the Rudy girl.
Hey, thank you guys for dressing up, by the way. Yeah, first of all.
You look good. And Rudy said, I said, Rude, we're dressing up tonight.
And she said, what should I wear? And I said, just something a little fancy because it's New Year's. Yeah.
And she goes, okay, I will. And then she wore second or third hand clothing.
Yeah, that's fifth hand clothing. Way to go, Rudy.
Where'd you get that shirt? I have so many shirts I gave you. Yeah, but I like this.
Oh, I see. But wait a minute.
When I asked you if you dressed up and you said yes, why did you lie? I dressed up. You dressed.
You dressed. Period.
Yeah, she dressed. You dressed, period.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't dress up.
That's you going to like a formal ball or something? Can you imagine if you went to, at high school, they do like spring. Have you done to a dance yet? Yeah.
What did you go to? Homecoming. Did you wear that? No.
What did you wear? A sparkling dress. How come you wouldn't wear that for here? Because I thought it was too much.
You're not taking this job serious. Yeah, yeah.
And why do you look like Dora today? Yeah, you do look like Dora. Yeah, you're Dora-ish.
Let's go. Let's go to the cave.
Yeah. By the way, we have our own.
What is he called? What's Andres' Dorian? Yeah, Dorian, yeah. Dorian.
We're Dorian, yeah. Oh, we need to find all the enemies.
Count to ten. You're Dora, and you have the look just like her Our little Dora Thanks for dressing up Rudy Did you see George and Andres dressed up? They look good I like Andres' suit I like your shirt Is that fitted? Yeah baby Yeah that's nice Fitted Yeah where'd you get it at? It was fitted from a TV show that I did Oh yeah you stole it? I asked for it Did you take it? I did Yeah.
Don't you take clothes every time you do a show? I always ask. I ask the wardrobe.
You make friends with me. Do I have to buy this? No.
Sometimes they go, uh, yeah, I'll just give you like discount, but sometimes they give it to you. I always make friends with wardrobe.
Always. Because by the way, they're usually cool-ass chicks, and then you become cool with them, and then they know cool shit, know cool people and then you go can I take some stuff and they're like yeah I take some stuff I become friends with craft service because you're fat no that's not why you fucked hard it's they give me the good juice oh because they get the oh right right right sometimes it's like they give like the star number one and two right protein shakes that they blend in the back they blend in the back.
I'm like 15th on the call sheet. Down, down, down, down, down.
So they go, go to the table, and there's like two pretzels and a fucking piece of licorice on there. That's why I have to be friends with the fucking – and then they give me the protein.
Yeah, they go, we got you, Bubba. Or they'll give me energy drinks and whatnot.
But can I say something about, thank God 2020 is over. 2020 is over.
The worst, probably the worst year? Yeah. I mean, out of all the years that you've had.
2001, 9-11 happened. That was a good year for me.
Pretty good year. I like that year.
2008, the market crashed, housing market. Didn't own a house then, so I was fine.
Yeah. 2020, kind of a bad year, but we started this podcast, so pretty good year.
Y2K was bad. Y2K was bad.
Yeah. But the computers never crashed.
Not only that, I got like 2,000 bottles of water still at my house from Y2K. From Y2K? Yeah, yeah.
Do you? Yeah. Do you have any resolutions? Yeah, I have a lot of resolutions.
My resolution would be to not... Does it have to be associated to you or just in general? Associated to me.
Okay, I knew it was going to be about you. Yeah, yeah.
Is to not get so mad at you so fast. Yep.
Because I do that a lot. And to genuinely tell you more often that I really do appreciate you.
I appreciate you. I love you.
And that I love you. I love you.
Appreciate you. I do.
I do. No, dude.
Next year, I want to have more fights and more fun on this show. I want to blow this thing up.
I have some things. Nah.
I want to say it.
Rudy, what are your New Year's resolutions?
Associated with Tita Bobby.
Well, they must be because he's such a brat.
We can't get around it.
I need to know more punching.
No more punching.
No, me.
No, you more punching, yes, but no punching out of you.
You're going to fight back.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
And that's all.
Good.
Really?
Thank you. You gotta fight back.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Okay. And that's all.
Good. Really? That's good.
Interesting. All right, what are your resolutions? Mine? Andres.
With Tito Bobby, of course. It's gotta be about him.
He hates when I make fun of him, and he treats me badly afterwards, so I need to be on his good side. That would treat you bad.
This resolution was brought to you by Babbel, the language learning experience. Very good.
George, what are you George, what is your resolution, you goon? You weirdo creep. By the way, George is having a baby in like seven months.
It's insane. Gross.
Go ahead. Just to communicate more with Bobby, i think i don't uh tell him three times about things and that's uh my fault oh condescending facetiousness i love that about george george that's good point for george what's your resolutions bob well um one is um to um win more in the gulag yeah you got to win more in the gulag because when you lose in the g more in the gulag.
Because when you lose in the gulag, it's embarrassing. I'm 50-50 right now.
Secondly is, you know, when you text me irrelevant things, irrelevant things, irrelevant things, childish things, can I say. Like what? Like, what do you think about this shirt? Or, you know what I mean? Hey video he he ha ha for me to to read that and go um he's uh probably not as emotionally evolved spiritually you know physically yeah but emotionally and spiritually no and that to just um be more mindful about where he's coming from from a child place place, from a baby face place.
And so I guess I am more childish than you. I'm not really done.
Because you're 49 and you play video games for six hours a day. But I do guess that that's more childish.
Yeah. And you collect boogers.
And mine wasn't an attack on yours. It is.
It's not. It is.
I'm telling you what my fucking New Year's is. This is New Year's resolution, so can you be nice today? This is the new year.
All right. Okay.
I'll be real. You want me to be real? You got what you wanted.
Joe Biden won. Everything's working out.
All right. All right.
You're right. You're right.
The vaccine's out. You're right.
You're right. What more do you want? Here we go.
You know, I'll tell you this. I'll tell you this.
My girlfriend. Partner.
My partner. At this point, partner.
My partner. And.
And by the way, legally, that's your wife. Exactly.
Yeah. And she met this girl named Andy Letterman.
Andy? Andy Letterman. I know.
We know who she is. Okay.
And so they talked for the first time on the phone for five hours. Mm-hmm.
And then last night they talked on the phone for four and a half hours.
Okay.
You think she's going to leave you for Annie?
No, that's not what it is.
Is that, and then I kind of questioned.
I go, I've talked to my brother for four hours on the phone collectively my whole life.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Right.
My discussions with my brother is this.
What's up?
Hey.
What are you doing?
Eating dinner.
Later.
Bye. That's it.
Right.
Right.
If I asked more about it, he would think that I was on drugs again.
Or he'd think you care.
No.
But that's a thing.
That's what most people would think.
Right.
Exactly.
Right.
So since Kalilah, right, she does that with people, wants to get to know them and connect with them. Yeah, she cares about people.
And know about their history and whatnot, right? Cares about people. I don't care about people.
No, I do, right? But I want to put more investment into knowing somebody and to spending more time with people on phone, and to explore their inner workings and whatnot, right?
Okay.
And their history and their desires and what, you know?
And so I just want to join the human race.
Yeah.
So this next, you know, and then the next year I'll be 50.
Big time.
Big time, right?
It's almost over for me.
It's been. Yeah, it's downhill.
Been downhill downhill you're halfway down the hill i know and so for me it's like you know it's either um put up or shut up and what are you gonna do you think what i'm gonna do from now on is i'm gonna call you you andrew yeah and i express feelings but pure like really i want to get to know you i dare you yeah i'm gonna call you i'm gonna call you and i go ring ring dare you hello andy andrew hi bob what's up hey what's going on hey i don't know i was just kind of thinking about you and everything about you okay so how, what was growing up like?
Wouldn't you rather do this on the podcast?
No, but that's the thing because the stuff that we do here
is,
it's all in show, right?
Because you and I,
when we,
I want people,
I want to put,
expose the show.
I want to expose the show a little bit.
Do it.
I come in here,
him and I are grumpy.
Yeah.
Right?
We'll say like grumpy things to each other.
Like, what the fuck, dude?
You're late.
And I'll be like, dude, I told you fucking there's traffic or whatever it might be.
Right.
Then they'll turn on the cameras and we just go.
Yeah.
And afterwards, I grab my shit and I just bail.
As fast as you can.
As fast as I can.
Yeah.
Right?
So we don't have, you know what I mean?
I hardly know you. Yeah.
You know, let's be real but i know you not that well though but you don't want to know you more i want to know the inner workings of you well you should ask more questions i am i want to know what i've known you for a decade and you don't do you never ask i know that's what i've known so many people for so long yeah long. Yeah.
And I don't seem to give a shit. That's a big problem.
Big time. It's a big problem.
Well, we're going to work it out today. Yeah.
Do you want to call someone that you know for a long time that we haven't asked? Let's get someone on the phone right now. Who? You name it.
I don't want to know right now. We'll call someone right now.
No, you said you want to start today. It's the new year.
We're starting today. Who do we know? Let's call someone that you haven't really asked a lot of questions about that you really want to get to know just call anybody and i'll do it i'll call andy dick do you have his number no oh i do i know you do but he's he's called me like six seven times i haven't returned his phone call let's call him right now this is an opportunity to prove to yourself that you are finally going to do the thing you should call andy dick very smart because you call fucking andy dick well because here's what you do you say you don't want to develop he sometimes changes his number so let's just see hey can we do this look at me look at me real fast before you do it look look look look what i want to help this will be fun for the show i mean first stop let me do this can i type on the computer there and on the screen you'll see? And you have to ask the questions that I type on there.
That'll be fun.
I know, but first, we'll do that.
I promise I'll do that.
Yeah.
But I also want to apologize for not calling them back and stuff.
Yeah. I can't open up and fucking ask the questions.
Just go, I want...
Say, my New Year's resolution is that I'm trying to call people back and be more conscious of it.
I want to say I'm sorry about not calling you back, but can I talk to you? All right, put it on the speaker there. Okay, here we go.
Okay. God, I hope he answers.
Okay, hey. It's voicemail.
Thanks for calling. Leave your name and your phone number and I will...
Hang up. No.
You got to call it. Try again.
Why. It's not even going to ring.
Maybe he's... Oh, you go.
It's ringing. Speaker.
Please don't pick up. He's not going to pick up.
Please. Bobby Lee? Hi Andy.
Oh my god.
What's up?
Well here's the thing.
You texted me a couple times
and I haven't called you back and I felt guilty
about it.
We're doing a New Year's
episode on my Bad Friends podcast
and you're on it right now and I just wanted
to apologize to you that I didn't call you back. Oh.
Well, first of all, I didn't even remember that you didn't call me back. Secondly, you shouldn't have told me because now I hate you.
Oh, fuck. I should have let it go.
Yeah. Yeah.
And then, but thirdly, I think about you all the time.
I think about you, too.
I miss you.
I miss you, too.
And I also want to, I want to get to know you better, because that's my New Year's resolution,
is to know people better.
So I'm going to ask you some questions.
Do you mind?
Right now, sure.
I'm just arriving at this holiday party.
You know what?
We'll set it up for some other day.
We'll set it up for some other day, then, maybe.
Why don't you shove off a couple of questions? I don't know why I said shove off. All right.
I've never asked you about your family. How was your son? I have two sons.
One's 25 and one's 33. and that's so nice of you to ask because you probably heard that the younger one died last week.
Are you fucking kidding me? Yes, I am. Sorry.
Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck. Anyway, why don't you go to your party? I'll talk to you later.
I promise I'll keep more in contact with you, okay? I love you. I love you.
That was very good. I know.
That's a really good one. I'll talk to you later.
Okay, bye. Oh, my God.
What the fuck, bro? I'm not doing this. This is great.
This is terrible. This is great.
I fucking, you know what? I swear to God, I thought you knew. I thought that you knew that his son had died because it's very believable, right? Yeah, people die.
And then when I read it and he goes, my son died last week, a rage came up. I looked at you and I went, you motherfucker.
Yeah. No, that's a good bit by Andy Dick.
I like that. It felt better.
Can I tell you something? So now we're good. So let's call somebody else.
You know what Andy said? What? Did you hear what he said? No. I really like that you want to know more about me.
Do you see it matters when you invest your time in other people? Oh, my God. shit yeah that you gave a shit it was nice yeah so andy dick still i i honestly thought he's not gonna have he always changes his number what do you know about i mean who else is in your phone that you don't ask enough questions about that calls you all the time go to your call list and go to mist oh my god go to mist well people don't stop calling me so to Myst I did Well Eric Griffin but I'm gonna call him Why? Brandon Dermer but I already talked to him I love Derms You owe Griff you should probably call him What am I gonna call This is New Year's resolution Here we go But you know what I'm go.
Here we go. But you know what? I'm not going to tell him I'm on the podcast.
I'm going to pretend. I'll tell him later.
I'm going to pretend that this is a sincere. Because you want to be genuine.
Be genuine. Okay, do it then.
So that's not for like, you know, jokes. But it's not because you're tricking him.
You just want it to be genuine. All right.
Hello. Hello, dear friend.
What? Uh-oh. What do you want? Nothing.
I just, I think you're a dear friend of mine, and I just wanted to call to see how you're doing. What's going on? What is this? Am I being punk? What's happening? No, fuck.
No, man. Dude.
Dude. No, no, dude.
Listen to me, man. I've known you for so long, right? Uh-huh.
Right? And you've done so many good things for you. For me.
For me. Yeah, exactly.
For me. No, no.
See how you said it? No. You've done so many good things for me.
You've been such a great friend. And I just realized that I just don't know you that well.
You know what I mean? I want to get to know you better. Uh-oh.
What do you mean, uh-oh, dude? I'm just calling. Dude, I'm just calling.
This is not a trap or nothing. Okay, well, I moved today in case you're interested in my life.
Oh, I didn't know. Where'd you move to? We talked about this already.
I moved on the west side of town. You don't even remember the conversations we've already had.
You moved to the west side? So, um, how you feeling? Oh, brother. What do you mean? How you feeling? How are you feeling? I'm exhausted from this move.
Oh, you move? You actually physically move stuff with your body? Yeah, I did. I did.
I mean, because I had some personal things. I didn't want to.
Oh, how's Rachel? She's good. She's right here.
Tell her I said hi. Hello, Rachel.
I'd like to know her more, too. He's on some kind of radio show or something like that.
He's talking in a weird voice right now.
No, I'm not. This is me, and I want to get to know I love you, dude.
Fuck you, man. I love you, I mean.
All right?
So, I would love to have dinner with you and Rachel one time.
After COVID, though. After the COVID.
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
What do you think?
Yeah, we should do that.
Me, Kalilah, you will grab a bite to eat?
Yeah.
Can you say that in English?
Two times fast?
You know what?
I'm not going to do that with you anymore
when you make fun of me,
and I'm not going to make fun of you back.
I think you're a great guy.
What can I get you for the holidays?
Always make fun of me. I know.
It's changing. I'm changing.
What can I get you for the holidays? Always make fun of me. I know.
It's changing. I'm changing.
What can I get you for the holidays? I don't know. I love you.
I wish your family well. A PlayStation 5? Oh, that's hard.
I can't get myself one. I want to get you a gift, though.
All right. All right? So just let me know.
Text it to me or whatnot, okay? All right, babe. All right.
I love
you, bud. Bye-bye.
See how nice
that was? And see how good that felt?
It didn't feel good at all.
But you're working through the kinks. A rage.
You've got to clean out the cobwebs in order to get
to the place where you need to be. This is great.
All right. So, look.
You're doing a good job with your New Year's resolutions.
Thank you. And let's see some of the fans have New Year's resolutions, and they want to tell us what their New Year's resolutions are, okay? Hey, Andres.
What up, Rudy? Next year's resolution, I'm going to stop pulling off to the side of the road to masturbate after work. I think people are catching on.
All my spots have been blown up, and it's not a good idea, really. Okay.
Can I tell you my main problem? We got great fans. Can I make my side up? My main problem with that? Yeah.
It looks like this tooth of his pulled off to the side of his mouth To get some escapism Also it's like What's your main problem? Hey Rudy Hey Rudy and Andres Yeah he didn't say what's up to us They are the stars of the show to be honest Also you never pull off to the side of the road You drive and do it. Right.
Right. Get some talent, dude.
That way, you know what I mean? No one can blow up your spot. Right.
That's why he's like, all these spots are blown up. You're constantly in motion.
Yeah, you're moving. That's the ghost.
Let's see another one. Hi, bad friends.
Oh, my gosh. Push pause.
When I see an Asian that looks like that, I need a second. All right, take a breath.
They still make them that way. Oh yeah.
Oh yeah. Old school.
Yeah, old school. Here we go.
There we go. Go ahead.
And Ticonderona number two. Hi bad friends.
My New Year's resolution is to stop talking shit about New Year's resolutions because people are working hard to change themselves and here I am going, ew. New Year's.
You mean? Uh oh. In fact, I fucking turn off my lights, close the door, and make one of my own.
This year's New Year's resolutions is to be a fucking good human being. Stop being so selfish.
And, you know, meet Bobby Lee. Yes, these are my kids.
These are the ones. I used to have a guy that looked just like him.
How Asian is this guy? This guy is Asia. I had an Asian guy like this.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Asia. Named Young Ko.
Young Ko. Yeah, he looked exactly like this.
This guy's great. I go, Young, go to Wieners' store, get me a hot dog, right? All right, be back.
Right? Come back with a fucking hot dog. I love dudes like this.
Yeah, this guy's great. Well, let's meet him.
That's his resolution. I'm going to meet him.
All what's up guys big fans big fans rudi even even george i love you guys australia you guys like literally make my mondays you make my weeks um so yeah my new year's resolution this year is to just be a lot more disciplined. I think with the changing of the times, a lot of us are working remotely and, uh, you know, it's bad habits have formed and now it's just to try and get rid of those bad habits and adopt new ones, like not sleep in until Bobby Lee hours.
Um like that. But to actually rise up early
and have determination and perseverance
to do the work at home.
And yeah,
I mean, I felt myself slipping
and this year
I want to just make it
a staple.
Love you guys.
Love you.
I actually think he's South African.
Yeah, maybe. I think it's South African African You have anything to say about him though I think his shit was genuine He really wanted to Do you think he was cute? Didn't pay attention Yo you're on a show right now No I was listening Did you see him? Yeah Did you think he was cute? Be honest.
He's okay. He's okay?
Okay.
Hi, Bobby and Andrew and the Bat Friends family.
I think what I want for my New Year's resolution is to find love, you know?
Find that special someone who can just make me happy.
Aww.
I am on the fucking phone.
Hi, Bobby and Andrew and... That was good.
That was really good. That was really good.
That guy was good. Yeah, that was a good bit.
That's a good bit. That was a really good bit.
Hey, bad friends. I hope whatever you're arguing about gets resolved by the end of the episode.
This is my bad friend's New Year's challenge. Thanks for having me.
Next year, I would like to, when I get my boogers picked by myself, to not get caught. This guy's, I love this guy.
It's been a huge problem in my life, but I've been caught maybe a couple times a year. And when I eat them and someone sees, it's not good.
Oh, yeah, and I also eat them too. Thank you.
I don't want people to see. I'm on a diet, so I don't take that into account for calories.
I'm a good guy and everything. People have to say that.
Why do they have to say that? I think he's pretty nice.
First of all, you don't know him.
If you knew George, you knew he isn't a nice guy.
How about this guy?
What up, Bobby?
What up, Andrew?
My New Year's resolution is to impregnate
that bitch right there.
Holla at a pregnant bitch. Love that guy.
Love that guy. Love that guy.
He could be part of the family. Hey, man, straight up.
I hope you get a pregnant pro. Don't pull out.
You know what? With some of these, let's do a vote, right? If they're invited into our family or not. That guy's invited in the fam.
He's invited in the fam. 100%.
Hey, Bobby and Andrew.
My New Year's resolution is I want to start absorbing
things more, because the thing is that
I always hear you,
but I didn't always listen to you.
That's interesting.
I think he's part of the family, and we have to keep him around
in case he hurts somebody.
I don't want...
He said, is this that, and he... Thank you.
interesting. I think he's part of the family and we have to keep him around in case he hurts somebody.
I don't want... He said, is this that? And he
had some good show calls.
But I also think he's creepily in his car. He's either...
You know what's scary, though?
Everything about it. He looks like he's in a passenger
seat. He is.
And no one's in the
driver's seat.
So he's just sitting in the passenger seat
of a car and just taping shit. It's fucking scary.
He's in the family. He's in the family.
We gotta save him. Hey guys.
My new resolution is actually to start buying more trading cards because as you might know trading cards are pretty much just gambling for children and I want to start getting that addictive personality going so
that once I'm an adult, instead of just gambling, you know, maybe I'll get into a little bit
of drugs and a little alcohol like an adult does.
Respect.
And, you know, I mean, I'll never catch up to Bobby.
You know, he was very ahead of the game in terms of drug abuse at a young age.
That's true. I mean, I can get close.
I can get close. It's not so good that smart.
Yeah. No.
That's my New Year's resolution. Child gambling.
No, that's not. Happy New Year's, you guys.
Look, I'm not going to support kids gambling and doing drugs, but this kid, I'm down. I think it's cool.
No, no, no. I think it's cool.
He's, you know, he's young. We're supposed to do the right thing here? The right thing is...
I don't wanna. Hey, dude, you go do drugs and gamble and do whatever you wanna do.
Life is short. If 2020 taught us anything, it's that life is too short.
He's in the family. That's my nephew.
He's not. Yep.
Stop. Hey, Bobby.
Stop, stop, stop. Hey, Andrew.
Stop, stop. Alright.
Just move on. I'm going to say it.
Just fucking move on. I'm going to say it.
Just move on. I'm going to say it.
Go ahead. I for sure thought that was a woman.
And maybe I'm dumb. No.
Maybe I'm stupid. No.
And I'm stupid. And people at home should know I'm not smart.
I've never claimed to be smart. But when I saw this person when I opened the video, I thought it was going to be, hey guys.
No. What I thought? What? CGI.
No, I'm not being kidding. I swear to God.
I go, wow, the animation is getting fucking good. Avatar is unreal.
Yeah. Unreal.
He looks like, yeah. You know what he looks like? Right? A human flesh colored one of those avatars.
I know. These are our fans.
Those creatures from Pandora. Those blue creatures from Pandora.
These are our fans. He's great.
Hey, we love you. Can we hear what he has to say? I can't look at the screen.
I'll laugh. All right hey bobby hey andrew hey rudy hey andres hey pink dick my new year's resolution is to suck more dick i'm pretty good at it now but i'd like to be spectacular anyways have a merry christmas and a happy new year thank you guys for being bad friends.
I gotta go to that planet Pandora.
First of all, this guy's the shit.
He is the shit.
He says he wants to be an expert at S and the D's.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Love this dude.
Love this guy.
Love this dude.
Not just in the family, gonna get a seat at the table.
How about that?
Yeah, yeah.
Not just in the family.
Let's play this one more time.
This guy gets a seat at the table.
He calls out everybody.
Listen.
Hey, Bobby.
Hi.
Hey, Andrew.
Thank you.
Hey, Rudy.
Hey, Rude.
Yeah.
Hey, Andres.
Hi.
Hey, Pink Dick.
Thank you. Hey, Rudy.
Hey, Ruth. Hey, Andres.
Hi. Hey, Pink Dick.
Pink Dick. My New Year's resolution is to suck more dick.
Dope. I'm pretty good at it now, but I'd like to be spectacular.
I bet you would. Anyways, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Thank you guys for being bad friends. Shout out to this fucking mega babe with really good skin that wants to suck better D.
Honestly, though, I would let him. I would let him.
100%. Yeah, yeah, I would let him.
Mega babe. Great hair.
Great hair. Great skin.
Right. Sorry if we were a little mean at first.
We're just having fun. We're having fun.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And let me tell you.
Yeah, I like your love. In the family, at the table.
You're at the table. That's high up.
All right, let's see who else is here. Wait, wait, before you air more, right? Is it not good for me to make fun of them? Dude, it's all love.
This is all love. All right, because I love them.
Yes. They're my own family.
These are our fans. We love them.
Am I being too mean? Okay, Rudy. No, Rudy's the gauge.
She'll tell us. Yeah, she's not even here.
No, I know. Barely.
She's half asleep. Barely.
Yeah. Here we go.
My New Year's resolution is to... MS-13 MS-13 guys we have MS-13 fans dope because they can protect us so much and probably look at the camera a little bit more and hopefully get a job when COVID's all done and maybe accidentally run into Andrew or Bobby somewhere on the street in LA and also maybe get onto Bad Friends oh and possibly cut my hair well you made it onto Bad Friends my friend let me tell you you made it onto Bad Friends I like it on.
He said he wanted to be on. He made it on.
Unless, of course, we cut that bit. No, we're not going to cut it.
We've got to leave it in. We've got to leave it in.
But it would be funny if we cut it. What do we do with this? Right when he starts talking, we cut it down.
Okay? No, he's the shit. He's the shit.
You're on Bad Friends. Alright, let's see.
Some more fans coming at you. What's up, Bad Friends?
Cheeto Santino.
Slap brother.
My New Year's resolution is to stop fucking my cousins.
Yeet, yeet!
It's always good to get a shout-out from Theo Vaughn.
It's really nice that he did our show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or not.
Nah.
If the cousin's hot.
Yeah, it depends on how distant the cousin is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How many times removed?
Well, I guess he said cousin stuff, so he's in the family. Got to let him in.
Hey, it's Gianna from Texas. My New Year's resolution is to get rid of my orangutan tits.
In the family. In the family.
At the table. I don't know what an orangutan tit is.
Droopy goopies, I guess.
Oh, you have droopy tits?
I got, what's orangutan about them?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Orange, orangutans, so maybe she has orange poop.
But they're just hairy.
Hairy and long and hang down.
Let's hear that one more time.
I love her.
She's awesome.
The rhythm was good.
Hey, it's Gianna from Texas.
My New Year's resolution is to get rid of my orangutan tits. We love her.
I like it, like it. She's the best.
What's up, bad friends? What's up, Andrew? Bobby? George? Adraides? George? My name's George, too. Happy fucking New Year's.
My fucking New Year's resolution Is to fucking Not be fat anymore I fucking I'm down 40 pounds this year Congrats I have a long way to go But you know what I love you guys Oh my god Love you too Good luck on the weight loss Papa keep it moving He could have died just doing that video Yeah Taking the shirt off His heart just imploded Honestly He's in the family My resolution Is to get that Dumplin You know what I'm talking about, Robert. That's right.
That guy wants to sleep with you. Yeah.
He wants to suck on my sacks. Yeah, he loves your dump.
Yeah. My sacks are like dumplings.
Thank you. Hey, Rocket.
Rocket? Hey, Bobby. Hey, Jules.
Also, Andres and George. Not really, hey, George.
My resolution is to stop smoking. I've been doing that for too long.
Gotta quit. I don't feel good about it anymore.
So, Happy New Year's, guys. Merry Christmas.
Handsome guy. Handsome guy, we love you, brother.
You gotta quit smoking. Bobby quit smoking, didn't you, Bob? Yeah.
Who's next? My New Year's resolution for this year was to lose weight and get my health back on track. Starting in September of last year, over the last year and about three, four months or so, I've lost 203 pounds, which brings me down from 530 plus pounds-ish, I don't really know where I was, down to 326 pounds currently.
And so my goal for next year is to finally hit my actual goal weight, which is to drop down to about 250 to 260 pounds. I'm six foot seven.
I have gigantism or acromegaly as it's actually called. And so I just want to get my health right and, you know, be comfortable in my body for, you know, the first time in my life.
So love you guys. Uncle Tito, Andrew.
We love this guy. By the way, I want to meet him.
George, find out about this guy. I've never met anyone with gigantism.
Me neither. I want to meet this guy.
George, find out about this guy, please. That's incredible.
I want to know more about him. It's incredible.
It looks like he's driving a Honda Civic. That's actually a truck.
It is? That's like an 18-wheeler. Oh, it is? It looks like a coupe to him.
He's 6'7". 6'7", and he lost 200 pounds? Wow.
Dude, I— But if you have gigantism, you're 530 pounds. Isn't that, like, not that big of a deal? 6'7 is not that tall.
It's not? It's like LeBron. Right.
Okay. But how much does LeBron weigh? 250, maybe? 260? Okay.
But it But it's still like if I weighed 530, it would look differently.
I would – honestly, I would pay my whole bank account to see you weigh 500 pounds.
It would make me so happy.
Would you try to help me?
I would do everything in my power.
Yeah.
If you got that big, I would – it would be a dream come true to watch you get that fat.
I could die.
That's mean. No, no.
I'd make sure you were fine. No, I'd make sure you were fine.
No, I'd make sure you were fine.
Right.
But what would I look like
at 500 pounds?
Not that bad.
At 500 pounds?
Yeah.
You weigh how much right now?
175.
Okay.
Three and a half times
what you weigh right now.
Yeah.
What would you think
you'd look like?
Ralphie May.
More. Really? More.
Because he was taller. It'd be like Ralphie and Lavelle Crawford together.
And you would love to see that. A hundred percent.
Oh, yeah. I'd pay so much money to watch you get fat.
Yeah. Hi, Bobby.
Love you. Hey, Chito Santino.
Love you, too. My new...
Keep it going.
My new resolution is to do stand-up comedy.
Did you hear...
He tried to stand...
He wanted to stand up.
Yeah, yeah.
Did you hear him fart though?
Listen.
I love you.
I love you.
Hey, Chito Centino.
Love you too.
My new...
My new resolution is to do stand stand up comedy. In the family.
The head. The head of the family.
He's our new leader. Hello, bad friends.
My name is Lance Cordell. I'm sending this video all the way from Manitoba, Canada.
Love it. Love Canada.
Just wanted to say hello to Bobby, Andrew.
Hey.
Mrs. Juliana.
There it is.
Fancy B.
Yes.
Pink Dick George.
You got it.
Anyone else who's involved with Bad Friends.
My New Year's resolution for this year is something that's been weighing heavily on me for a very long time. I need to get in touch with somebody.
He was this little Asian kid that used to live close by me, and what we used to do was really not right. We need to say i i want to say i'm sorry i i never meant to lure you with fun dip and brutally molest you for an entire summer i just want to say if you're watching out there little asian kid, I'm sorry.
And happy New Year. It's so fucked up.
It's so fucked up. He's talking about you? Yeah.
Because that's real. Yeah.
All right. And if the guy that molested me looked like him, I would have molested him back.
He was hot. Yeah.
The hot burly guy. I'd just be fingering back, but it's not.
Anyway, let's move on. Well, let's take a minute real quick.
What are you grateful for? Let's take a minute to thank the staff. I genuinely.
Thank the staff. Let's thank the Rudy.
Thank you, Rudy. Thank you, Rudy.
Let's say why we appreciate Rudy. Did you prepare the speech we asked you to prepare? Yeah, did you? And if not, improvise one.
You didn't ask me. You didn't tell me to dress up, you fucking lady.
Because I thought you knew.
So do the speech that we said.
Do the speech, please.
Yearly speech.
Thank you for everyone watching the show.
What?
And happy new year.
That's the speech?
Was that really the speech you prepared?
You didn't tell me. Yeah, we did.
First of all, George sent an email that said, please dress up and please prepare a speech, and you didn't. I dressed up, but I didn't know about the speech.
We'll get back to you. Andres, it's your turn.
Thank you so much, Andres. We all want to say thank you for your commitment and your dedication to this show.
It's been less than one year, but it's been an incredible run. We love you.
Thank you for what you've done. Go ahead and tell your speech.
Thank you, guys. Thank you, fans, for appreciating us.
Stay safe. Stay safe? Stay safe.
Stay safe and be good to each other. That's great.
And last on the list, of course, is Janj. Well, can I, before George...
Scourge. No, because we still have to do two other people.
Scourge, real quick. Can I add on to Andreaz's? Friends and countrymen, thank you all for joining us.
Thank you for being a bad friend. It might be a little bit early, but it's the end of the year, so at the end of the year, we will thank you.
I want to just say, George doesn't know it, but he got fired this week. He has no idea.
You're fired, but we love you.
I want to say something honest about Andreas.
May I just interject?
Please.
Because I don't say positive things.
You know, when we signed on to do Bad Friends,
I reluctantly invited George into the fray.
Well, time out.
Back it up.
You literally said to me,
me and you were going to do Bad Friends,
what do we think about George? And I said... You said no.
No, immediately. I didn't even skip a beat.
Yeah, you said, what do you think? You said no. I do.
Well, how'd you know? He goes, I just knew. I just knew.
Yeah, yeah. But then you came around to yourself a little bit and you said, you know what? I'm going to involve him.
You know why? Yeah. Because of Andres.
Well, diamond in the rough that's not what i was gonna say diamond in spade is is that i regretted inviting george into the party same but then he invited the fucking you know fancy b fancy b yeah and at first i was reluctant and i didn't like it but i realized that what an asset he is to the company truly and he's more of an asset than George's. By far.
By far. Not even a question.
And, you know, if I could renegotiate the contract. And fire George and keep Andres? I would do that.
I've been trying to do it for about a year. I know you have.
Seriously, 40 weeks. But George really needs to step up his fucking game.
Couldn't be more true. Couldn't, honestly.
Like, call me and say, you have to dress up for this episode. Fact.
Fact. Fact.
Or how about you gotta bring a gift.
Bring Andrew a gift because of the fucking raffle.
Yep. Right?
How about defend me during the trial?
Hey, Andres, does your back hurt from carrying all the weight?
Yeah. Yeah, a little bit.
A little bit. A lot of it.
And your asshole
hurts, too, from fucking you, huh?
Every fucking day. Does he have sex with him? Yeah, literally.
Well, that is
what it is. So anyway, that's
I don't get to see. People get to see George and Andres.
People don't get to see Jenna and Joe, and we're calling them right now. There he is.
They work on the show with us, and they're part of our team that's not located here in Los Angeles,
but we love them very much, and we want to include them. Joe seems nervous.
Joe is very nervous.
Happy New Year.
She looks like Cleopatra.
I told her to do that.
Happy New Year.
Am I?
You're good.
Now you're looking money.
Am I right side up?
Yeah.
She looks like Cleopatra?
I called her earlier because we talk about styles and stuff. Oh, really? Yeah, and I go, can you She looks like Cleopatra? I called her earlier because we talk about like styles and stuff.
Oh, really?
Yeah, and I go, can you dress up as Cleopatra today?
And she did it.
And she did?
Yeah, she did the hairstyle.
She looks Cleopatra.
What does Joe look like?
Nostarafu.
Nostarafu?
Nostarafu.
Nostarafu.
Nostarafu.
Well, we wanted to call. You both look so pretty.
Jenna you look great Joe you look Joe And uh We wanted to call And tell you guys Thank you for a great year We had so much fun on the show Thank you for your help And Jenna and Joe Um What can we do as uh As performers on the show To improve our game. Yeah.
Notes. We need notes.
I would say, oh, man.
You know, I'd probably say you guys should probably fight more on the show.
Got it.
I don't think you guys have really done that enough.
Right. Yeah, yeah.
That makes sense.
We should fight more.
Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Jenna?
Maybe some more costume.
Costume.
I don't think she'd do enough costume. I love it.
I love it love it i love it do they know each other very very well are they dating no they're not no these are there's a fucking workspace it's a professional workspace do we can get sued fucking angry for no reason i'm asking a question we can get sued for that we can get sued by hr talking about. See? That's what I'm talking about.
More of that. Hey, look at that.
That was planned. I was really angry just now because you raised your voice for no fucking reason.
Yeah. It's part of the show.
Oh, okay. Great.
HR. It's a good bit.
Well, we wanted to say thank you to the entire staff and crew that helped make Bad Friends possible. Rudy, thank you, kind of.
George, Andres, you're a lovely guy. We love you very much.
And Jenna and Joe, thank you so much endlessly. For the fans at home, this is the people that make the show happen.
Thank you so much, honestly. This is genuinely the people that make this show possible.
So these guys are great people, honestly. Thank you so much.
And we love them more than we love anybody that works here locally. If we could have you two here and get rid of fucking George George, I mean, that would be nice.
God, what a blessing that would be. That would be a blessing.
What a blessing it would be. Honest.
I mean, and I mean it genuinely. And George, I know you can hear us, and we mean it.
Thank you guys so much for everything. We love you guys.
Happy New Year to you. Happy New Year, man.
And here's to a wonderful 2021 that's, fingers crossed, going to be a lot better than 2020. Love you guys.
Cheers to you guys. Cheers, cheers, cheers.
Bobby's sober, so he can't do that, but cheers. Love you guys.
I love you. Happy New Year.
Happy New Year to you. Bye-bye.
Love you.
The best.
Just grade A people.
I was going to say something
that would really make you mad just now,
but you know what?
My gut instinct said no
because I want to start a fight
because it's the New Year's episode.
Do it.
I was going to say right after that,
who were they?
That would have really made you mad.
Yeah.
But see, I'm growing
because I'm going to change
my fucking deal for the next year. Change it.
did that was a gut instinct for me to go who the fuck were they right and I said Bob my internal fucking dialogue said don't say it don't say it right and then that's like I think a growth thing and I think that's what I'm gonna do that's just apple cider right no it's alcohol I can't drink it you't drink it. You're fine.
Just drink it. Okay, I'll relapse for you.
For me? Yeah, yeah. 100% juice.
Yes, no, it is. Hey, Jules, if I relapse, would you tell Kalilah? Yeah.
You have no loyalty or no... You don't like me at all? We brought you on this show as a part of our family and now you just like disrespect you don't like me at all i want to help you that's not helping me dude you're helping no you're not oh that's hurting it's hurting you know when i was drinking when we were drinking on my show the first time we ever did whiskey ginger together you had red bull and in the glass it looks like whiskey yeah people were like i can't fucking believe you'd be okay with them relapsing in front of your face oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was like, are you guys fucking out of your mind? Yeah, yeah. George, you're going to— No, would you tell— Honestly, if I pulled you aside and I said, hey, I relapsed, would you tell Kalilah? You did.
You did do that. I did what? You did pull me aside and fucking tell me that you relapsed.
Did you tell Kalilah? No. I know you didn't.
No, I did not. Then that's a real front.
Well, because I was concerned about you. I didn't know what to do.
I actually was concerned. I had no idea what to do.
We hadn't done bad friends then, though, right? No, and that's what kind of led to this. But also, that's what scared the shit of me because I told my wife, I was like, what am I supposed to do? Yeah, yeah.
You put me in a very bad situation. Give me the thing.
Give him the thing. But also, that's Kalilah's fucking niece.
That's true, yeah. Yeah, what the fuck? I'm never going to have an ally in the house.
I'm your ally, but I just don't live in your house. I know.
No, don't drink it yet, Bob. All right, we're going to do a countdown.
Yeah, put some... George, who's this last one for? Oh, okay.
Okay.
All right, so don't drink before we do the fucking countdown.
So wait, what do you want me to do first, Andres?
Hey, guys.
So to welcome the new year, we're going to do it Spanish style.
And this is how we do it in Spain.
Okay.
When the clock chimes 12, 12 a.m. on the 1st,
we eat
one grape per chime
in order to get good luck for the
rest of the year. Okay.
So you guys will have a
countdown there, and
Rudy can give you the grapes.
And then, with
each chime, you guys have to eat one grape
trying not to choke.
How many...
The chimes go fast? No,
they are pretty... I've eaten grapes
to Each chime, you guys have to eat one grape trying not to choke. The chimes go fast? No, they're pretty...
I've eaten grapes before, bro. You have to eat grapes without choking? This is what the Spaniards do? Yeah.
These people are so weird. I know.
All right. All right.
So we have to eat grapes without choking. All right.
So I got to do... Okay, here we go.
So this is the Spaniard New Year. Right.
Here we go.
Wait, wait, wait.
These are the quarters.
Hold on. So you will see on the screen when to eat.
So we don't eat until it says eat?
Right, until the first chime
starts. The first chimes that you guys
are gonna hear are the quarters, and
it's just to prepare you for it.
The first chime you hear...
Can I say something?
It might be one of those things where we don't know
that eating that many grapes at a certain
amount of time makes you choke.
No, no. The choking part I'm just saying
because you guys are not used to.
He's just saying because he's got experience.
Oh, I thought that this was like a thing.
A challenge that they had in Spain.
Eat as many as you want without choking. You know what I mean? You think you can lift through the grip? Gula! All right, here we go.
Let's start. Ready? And go.
Cuartos. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
That's a chime.
No, wait.
Those are the quarters now.
Ding, dong, ding, dong.
There are four of those.
See as the clock gets to 12.
The grapes are so sweet.
Okay.
Now. One...
Oh, you guys failed. Did you get him, George? Oh, yeah.
George and I were the only ones who did it right. We did it.
Yeah, but you guys have to have your mouth clear. You guys didn't do it.
They didn't do it. We did it It's on camera Okay Wait a minute Wait a minute Let's do it again So what you're saying is that There can't be any grapes in the mouth Right You never told us that Tell us the fucking rules Also You just swallow them whole No no You chew them and then swallow You didn't chew and swallow There's no way No you didn't So now after this We're doing some Filipino tradition okay Rudy go ahead for Filipino traditions during the new year when it turns midnight you have to jump really high because like really high so that on the next year you will grow taller.
And then you have to, when it's midnight, you have to scream or make noises so that the evil spirit won't possess you. That's it.
Is that real? Yeah. Don't look at me, man.
I mean Korean, bro. You would know if this is fake or not.
I've never seen this happen, but... All right, so what do we have to do? Can we look it up first? No, we have to just trust.
She's Filipino. I feel like she's making it up.
She's our resident. She's our resident.
First of all, jump as high as you can so you can grow the next year. That's fucking ridiculous.
Well, they are short. Yeah.
All right, number two,
make funny noises to scare away evil spirits.
Yeah.
Let's do it.
So where's the clock for that?
There's no clock for that.
All right. Give me one of my heart, bitch.
Yep.
All right, count us off.
All right.
I can't do it, but yeah.
Okay, so three, two, one, go. Alright
Okay, I think we're ready for the champagne. And your screaming was crazy.
Yeah. Like you meant it.
Yeah. Do you really believe evil spirits are like around? I think so.
Yeah, okay.
She does.
You do, huh?
You do believe in it.
What do you think is going to happen to you?
Yeah.
If you don't do that, what do you think is going to happen?
My year will be, like, bad.
So you didn't scream last year?
Yeah, obviously not.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And maybe someone will die.
What?
Somebody you love?
Maybe.
Like, close. Yeah.
Okay. Okay.? Maybe.
I close.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Pretty dark.
What did the... Oh, Andres, what does it say?
Dance one, two, three.
Those are the music for now our dancing party.
Andrew?
Andrew? Wow.
Pretty good party.
That feels good.
Pretty good.
Get up and dance!
Dance!
Dance!
Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah., there is one more. I don't think we should do it.
I'm not doing it again. You're not doing it again? Well, if you turn it on, who knows what will happen.
That's good.
Okay, so we have to have a countdown and cheers.
Okay.
Champagne, now that we're out of breath, it's been a great party.
It's been an amazing new year.
Thank you for being a bad friend.
Thank you for being a bad friend.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Happy New Year! Thank you.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Woo-hoo.
Yeah.