Living Someone's Dream and Chris Rock Hates Us!

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Speaker 2 You two are are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 2 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 2 We're bad friends. Hello, Jeremiah.
Hi, Frank.

Speaker 2 Hello, Tonga. Tonga the kid.
Hello,

Speaker 2 Batrice.

Speaker 2 Batrice Bamblunga. Babyayaya.
Baby Ayayaya.

Speaker 2 What were you doing in the car? Why were you late? Because I was reading tweets. You know, people think that's true.
People think I'm stupid.

Speaker 3 what was he doing in the car Rudy he was popping his pimple

Speaker 2 I was reading tweets and you still have the pimple thing on your nose

Speaker 2 and I know you know I haven't seen you in a while and this is not a really good way to start you know it's it you know it's hello how are you how is hawaii did you say hello how are you to me let's start fighting listen that last episode where we're fighting it's really volatile it's good oh it's what the volatile it was one of the best episodes we ever made it doesn't matter it's volatile and i and let's start out the right way ready yeah hey bob

Speaker 2 see it's not organic it doesn't work

Speaker 2 because i'm absorbing it

Speaker 2 you know what the problem with america is oh god

Speaker 2 why we're divided we don't absorb hellos What are you talking about? We need to start absorbing hello. So when somebody says hello, right, our immediate response is hello back, right?

Speaker 2 Because it's conditioned to do that. We're conditioned to do that.
Well, someone goes hello. So when you say hello, I absorb it.
Hey, Bob.

Speaker 2 Hello.

Speaker 2 Now, what you're not hearing is this.

Speaker 2 You're not hearing that. But it's happening.
Say hello to me. Well,

Speaker 2 let's do it again. You say it first.
Okay. Let it absorb.
All right. Go ahead.
Hello, Bob.

Speaker 2 Hello.

Speaker 2 Hello.

Speaker 2 Hello, Andrew. How was Hawaii, baby boy? Oh, it was great.
You know, it's fun.

Speaker 2 Hawaii is a fun little island.

Speaker 2 I spent just, but first of all, my hotel room,

Speaker 2 it was almost as if, like, you know, a rock band stayed there. Because you destroyed it? Yeah.
What did you do? It just, the maids, I had to give them an extra 50. Every day?

Speaker 2 Not every because I don't have it cleaned every day. I like I let four days pass.
So what, you leave $50 for every few days? Yeah, and then still they're very hesitant of cleaning it.

Speaker 2 Yo, that's crazy. It's insane.
I have like

Speaker 2 sunflower seeds on the wall

Speaker 2 because you're flicking in bet from bed. No, from my little, my little Warzone chair,

Speaker 2 right? Everything's sticky. They have to throw out that chair.

Speaker 2 You know that. What? They have to throw out all that furniture.
They do, right? That's so sad. It's just like blood.

Speaker 2 Come.

Speaker 2 Everything. Blood, come, everything.

Speaker 2 And they bring a hazmat to it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm pretty nasty, dude. Barbie Lee was in this room.
Yeah, and I do it fast. I can make things messy real fast.

Speaker 2 Do you order extra towels and pillows every day?

Speaker 2 It's also food. I didn't go to a restaurant.
Not once? No.

Speaker 2 But isn't Hawaii pretty safe, right? Isn't Hawaii safe right now? Because they quarantine. They quarantine.
Way too safe. Did you go to the beach? Bro, when I got there, when I got there, dude.

Speaker 2 They almost didn't let me in the island. What do you mean? I was on the island.
I was on the island. I was at the airport, but they wouldn't let me, like, come on.
Because you're Korean?

Speaker 2 No. That's silly talk.
Well, no, Hawaii. I don't know.
Do they like you guys? I have no idea. I have Korean people.

Speaker 2 That's silly talk. Is it mostly Japanese people, isn't it? That's just Japanese.
Who else is there?

Speaker 2 The whites are there? Yeah. Okay.
No, because I didn't fill out the

Speaker 2 you had to fill out all this paperwork. Right.
And I never did it. Did you have to do that when you came back to LA? I heard there's a paper at LAX that people have to fill out.
No, I didn't. No.
No?

Speaker 2 No, no. They let me through.
They recognize me.

Speaker 2 Let's be honest. From what? Bobby Lee.
From what?

Speaker 2 What do you think people recognize you from? I did a national El Polla local commercial. I did.
I know. I had a National El Pollya local commercial.
I've done, I was in that

Speaker 2 show that Nick Rutherford did on,

Speaker 2 what's that called? Love? No, Nick Rutherford has a show on,

Speaker 2 what's that, Cartoon Network? On Adult Swim? Adult Swim. Dream Corp? Yeah.
Was it cool? Dream Corp? I had one line on that. What was the line?

Speaker 2 Tricky Ricky is here. Perfect.
Yeah. I'd give you the gig again.
And I didn't even, I memorized that eight months ago. I still have it on.
Did anybody recognize you from Bad Friends in Hawaii?

Speaker 2 Did anybody say I love Bad Friends?

Speaker 2 They do. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And it's funny because it's obviously, you know, I'm walking around Hawaii. with a mask on, right?

Speaker 2 So obviously, you know, when Asians don't have masks on, it's hard to to tell. Well, people get scared when they don't, when they see you.

Speaker 2 I'm more comfortable when Asians have masks. But with the mask on, we're like, you know, it's very, we're hard to recognize.
Sure. But for some reason, my voice people recognize.
Well, yeah, Bob.

Speaker 2 It's a deep, fucked-up voice, right? It's deep for a Korean guy, I guess. Yeah.
Yeah. You sound like that sounds guttural.
Yeah, yeah. I go, excuse me.
Bad friends. Nice.
This is the only word I use.

Speaker 2 A little Korean guy. We were shooting downtown.
A little Korean guy sprinted up to me. No.
One of the background guys. Why does he have to be little? He was very small.

Speaker 2 Was it a boy? Well, I couldn't hear him at first. I had to grab him.
I picked him up off the ground. Yeah, yeah.
And I had to get him up at Eye Line. Where do you go? Boss, Boss.

Speaker 2 Hey, are you Andrew? Boss? The plane. The plane.

Speaker 2 No, and he said, he ran up to me and he says, bad friends, bad friends.

Speaker 2 My favorite show.

Speaker 2 Say hi to Bob, please. And I said, of course, of course.
He was like so wide-eyed and happy. So he says hi.
I don't know. What's his name? Something Kim, I guess.
I don't like it.

Speaker 2 Memorize the name. Wong Park? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know. Do you get recognized often? Well, I don't go anywhere anymore.

Speaker 2 I mean, even before, though. No.
No.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 How many times a day?

Speaker 2 One, maybe.

Speaker 2 And how does it make you feel? It was, I don't know. It depends on the scenario.

Speaker 2 If I'm like at a restaurant just wanting to eat and pass the time and talking to somebody,

Speaker 2 it is what it is. I'd rather just keep going.
But do you remember the first time you got recognized?

Speaker 2 Maybe. Yeah, yes, yes.
No, I do think I do that. Of course you do.
Yeah, the first thing. Yeah.
Of course. And then what happened? It felt incredible.
It does at first, right? Yeah, it changes you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it does change you.

Speaker 2 This is very uncomfortable to talk about. Well, it's just weird.
It's weird to talk about, but I'd like to talk about it. Well, hold on.
So what happened? Well,

Speaker 2 I got recognized. The first thing I did was punked, and I got recognized for...

Speaker 2 You got recognized for punked? well because we did promo for Jimmy Kimmel. And I went on Jimmy Kimmel and I climbed on his desk in a speedo and

Speaker 2 Guillermo tased me.

Speaker 2 I'm in a speedo and Guillermo tased me. And Justin Bieber was on.
So it was just a big viewed episode or a big viewed, you know, yeah, Jimmy Kimmel episode.

Speaker 2 And like three or four days later, I was walking on third or Mel or Third or Beverly, one of those where all the restaurants are.

Speaker 2 And a kid goes, I saw you.

Speaker 2 I saw you naked on Kimmel. And I was like, I was in a Speedo.
And he was like, yeah, it was gross. That was funny.
And I was like, oh, thanks.

Speaker 2 And then it made me sad about that I was gross because my body was gross on Kimmel. And then I thought, well, I got to get in shape.
And that literally was like part of the impetus of being.

Speaker 2 Oh, really? 100%. Oh, wow.
Because I saw the photos and it was like my little penis is in the little Speedo. My little tiny penis.

Speaker 2 Yes. And my doughy midsection was spilling over the Speedo.
And I was like, oh, shit. That's how people...

Speaker 2 Before people see you, before you see yourself on TV, you don't know how bad a shape you might be in and then once you see what you look like on TV then you go eyes in a mirror Yeah, but you don't really know until you see it amongst other people on TV.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I know how fucked up my body well you've always had a bad body though. Whoa.
You never were in shape. You've always had a bad body.
I know, but it's been good for me. Yeah, no, it works.

Speaker 2 No, it feels normal to me, though. It sure.
Yeah, I don't feel like, oh, I'm jiggly. I can hardly walk.

Speaker 2 Well, do you jiggle at all when you walk? I wobble. Yeah, you wobble.
I I don't jiggle. Which is why we call it weeble wobble.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I do wobble the fuck out of things.

Speaker 2 You're kind of like one of those punching bags, you know, they wobble back and forth. Do you ever get recognized, Rudy? No.
Never? No. It's going to happen, though.
It's going to happen. Just wait.

Speaker 2 So I did the Tonight Show in

Speaker 2 70.

Speaker 2 Oh, earlier. Okay.
I thought it was one of the original with Carson.

Speaker 2 I mean, you're 50. You could have done it.
You literally could have done it. I couldn't have.
How not? Carson did it until the 70s.

Speaker 2 Late 70s. In the 80s.
No, he went to the 80s.

Speaker 2 You just couldn't have. Yeah, you could have.
Stand up. I couldn't have.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Because you were busy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you were losing it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 2000.

Speaker 2 Rattlebait the show. Shut up.
2001. No, don't do that either.

Speaker 2 Let me absorb it. Okay, ready, absorb it.

Speaker 2 When did you do the tonight show, Bob? Sometime in 2000, and not in the 70s. It was Leno, not Carson.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 so I did it.

Speaker 2 And then two weeks later,

Speaker 2 never got recognized, but two weeks later, I was at the Panican coffee shop in La Jolla. Mm-hmm.
Because I was doing La Jolla at the comedy store. And the Panican is a place I used to work.

Speaker 2 Panicin? Yeah, it's a coffee shop in La Jolla. I used to do the morning shifts.
You have to wake up five in the morning. It's where I ground up the cockroaches.
Oh, right.

Speaker 2 And I remember, so now I'm back at the panic in, you know, after doing the tonight show, and no one's recognized. It's fine.
I wasn't thinking about it. Right.

Speaker 2 And a young lady and her mother was at a table.

Speaker 2 And I'm drinking my coffee and I have my legs crossed like this.

Speaker 2 Right. And I think you could smoke at that time.
So I was smoking. And she goes, excuse me.
I go, yes. And she goes, Did you do the tonight show a couple of weeks ago as a stand-up? I go,

Speaker 2 yes, I did

Speaker 2 she goes it was pretty good

Speaker 2 that's good pretty good is good no

Speaker 2 it fucked me up for like six months why pretty good pretty good is a terrible no it's pretty good

Speaker 2 what did you want her to say it was really good but it wasn't I know

Speaker 2 I know so that's what I was thinking about like what I could have done better but to me when you do a set right yeah when somebody says it was pretty good you don't feel good well when someone says it's the set is pretty good when you after you've just done a live show you that means it's really bad when somebody goes pretty good oh so it so time it's like one time

Speaker 2 i see yeah it's it's settled a little bit also television is way different than live so when somebody goes that tv set was pretty good it's probably pretty good when somebody says sees you live and go hey

Speaker 2 i if i don't like the band creed why i just don't right

Speaker 2 but if i saw the lead singer walking down i'd be like i love you guys why Just because I want him to feel good. I would ignore him.
No, I would just keep moving. I'd go, I love that.
All your albums.

Speaker 2 I hate them. But I would say it to make them feel good.
If I've seen comics,

Speaker 2 what if you just don't say anything at all? If you've seen comics not do well at all, right? Name them. Right.

Speaker 2 No, no, I wouldn't need to say that. Stop it.
All right. But one of them.
Name one. Or I've seen, like,

Speaker 2 I don't want to hurt his feelings. But do it.
No, I'm not. I'm not going to do it.
I'm going to give you a good idea. Give me the additional.
Let me know.

Speaker 2 Let me think of a good one that wouldn't be hurt.

Speaker 2 Or I've seen Whitney have an OK set. Right, like not so good.
Yeah, one time she had an OK set. Not a solid.
Afterwards, I said, oh, that was amazing. Why did you do that?

Speaker 2 Just to make her feel better.

Speaker 2 Chris Rock watched me go up in the OR. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Have you ever been there when Rock is there late? Like, sometimes Rock will stay at the hotel next door and he'll just walk in late and he'll just watch late sets. I saw this guy car get towed once.

Speaker 2 From the club? Yeah. He parked right in front of the club.
And while he was on stage. They towed? They towed him.
Oh, my God. And then when he got off,

Speaker 2 I'm the one that had to tell him. Oh, no.
Yeah, and he did not look good. Was this recently or when you were working? Way back in the day.
When you were working there. Yeah.

Speaker 2 This is way back. This is before Bring Your Pain.
Bring the Pain. Bring the Pain whenever.
Bring Your Pain. Whatever.
That's actually a good title. Bring Your Pain to my show.
Bring Your Pain.

Speaker 2 Anyway, Rock was in the bucket seats, and he showed up late, and I had pushed my set because I had done the improv change their time and the factory change their time.

Speaker 2 And then I told Adam, I'm going to be late. So I was late.
So then my spot, you know, your spot slides down and I slid down. I said, I'll still do it.
And it was a late spot.

Speaker 2 There was barely anybody in the room. I'm like, I guess I'll just try some new shit.
I get up there.

Speaker 2 You know those nights when you're like, whatever, there's nobody here. It's like a Tuesday.
So I get up there. I'm trying a bunch of new shit.
It's going like mediocre, but it's fine.

Speaker 2 Like, it's just in my head, I'm like, this is fine. This is exactly what I wanted.
It's all, it's a bunch of new stuff. I get off stage.

Speaker 2 Rock is, I go to sit down to look at my phone to turn off my recorder. Rock is sitting next to me.
And I was like, fuck. Yeah.
Fuck.

Speaker 2 And I turn and he goes, hey. And I was like, hey, what's up?

Speaker 2 And I just sat there on my phone. And then before he gets up, he kind of is like, you know, like looking to get up and leave without it being like weird because I just sat right next to him.

Speaker 2 And he kind of goes, turns to me and he just goes,

Speaker 2 a good set, man. And then he walks away.
And I was like,

Speaker 2 no, he knows. He knows.
He knows how bad it was.

Speaker 2 And when you say good set man in walk away

Speaker 2 it's not good

Speaker 2 so now he'll remember that who that kid yeah yeah nah did i tell you what happened to me hit me with him at carolines uh-uh

Speaker 2 oh my god this is the reason why i don't play carolines i'll they've asked i'll just say no because of this one experience did you used to play it all the time all the time i've only played it once

Speaker 2 so um

Speaker 2 This is before Tiger Belly or Bad Friends or anything.

Speaker 2 I just didn't have an audience. Yeah, you did.
I had Mad TV audiences, but they were dwindling. Sure.
Right? So I would sell okay tickets, one show. Right.

Speaker 2 And there'd be some shows that would be completely not good. Right.
Like 20, 30 people. Right.

Speaker 2 This one particular night, it was a Saturday night, second show, and just no tickets were sold. Zero.
I mean, I had maybe... 12 people in the audience.
Saturday night in New York is so hard.

Speaker 2 It's so hard. And then also, I remember this night because my friend Bess Hanley came from Long Island because she had moved up Long Island.
Yep.

Speaker 2 You know, I mean, I knew her from San Diego. And she, um, she brought her husband and she had this, you know, she had, because I could see her.
She was like up to the left. Right.

Speaker 2 And this is her face through my whole set.

Speaker 2 She's trying to read something from far away. Yeah, just like confused and like also like, very concerned.
Yeah. Like he might need to get a job.
Were you bombing? It was not good.

Speaker 2 It was just you, yeah. And it got to the because I, you know, um, you know, I do this thing at the end of my set where you show your penis.
Where I get completely naked and I, and I run around.

Speaker 2 It's the closer. It's my closer.
It's very humiliating. They call it the career closer.

Speaker 2 So, this is so humiliating.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 15 minutes of my set, I just decided to do it in the middle. I just said, I got to do it now.
In the middle of the show? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm bombing so bad, right?

Speaker 2 I don't know what the fuck to do. You're like, oh, dear.
And also, I knew it was okay because at the time, Paul Mooney did a third show.

Speaker 2 I don't understand.

Speaker 2 So on Saturday nights, Paul Mooney had like a kind of, he was a

Speaker 2 like 7-10 midnight or something? Yeah, he was like the midnight show, but he came early and they're like, you can go short because Paul's here. And there's a big crowd outside to see Paul.
Of course.

Speaker 2 Of course. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And also, people have to realize that when Paul Mooney performs, you know, everyone shows up no matter what city you're in.

Speaker 2 Like, if you're in LA, Paul Mooney performed, Eddie Murphy, and everyone would show up. 100%.
Right?

Speaker 2 So, um, I knew Paul Moody, so I go, I just do it now and get out and just say, Oh, Paul's performing, whatever, right?

Speaker 2 And I'm on stage, I'm sweating, right? It's cold as fuck. I'm sweating, yeah, and

Speaker 2 I'm naked, and no one's laughing, right? People are getting up, right? My friend Bess's face is even getting down here, like this, like anger almost. And I remember just picking up my clothes.

Speaker 2 Good night! No cheer, right? Walking off. And then I just remember sweat and tears welling up, right? And it was just terrible.
And you sat in a tiny little green room they have? Yeah.

Speaker 2 So there's a screen off to the left, right?

Speaker 2 So I see a guy leaning against the wall in the corner.

Speaker 2 I don't know who it is. Oh, yeah.
I don't know who it is. I have my clothes.

Speaker 2 And I'm walking, I'm walking, I'm walking, completely naked, by the way, right?

Speaker 2 And I realize as I get closer, I go, if that's Chris rock i swear to god oh no i'm gonna quit

Speaker 2 so i see it's chris oh so i go

Speaker 2 i don't know what else to say so i go hey i go

Speaker 2 i go hey

Speaker 2 what up man

Speaker 2 right i'm shaking right

Speaker 2 hey what up what up man and i this and what he said to me right has been ingrained into my psyche right it's what i wake up to it's what I sleep with, right?

Speaker 2 What are you doing, man? Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 You should get that tattooed on you. What are you doing? What are you doing, man? And here's my response.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 And I remember being in that green room dressing, right? And I remember thinking to myself, I'm going to stay for Palmoon. No, no.
No. No, no.
I got my leave. And I just wandered into the city.
Gone.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Gone.
Those nights you deserve to disappear.

Speaker 2 There's 10 shows in my life. That almost ruined you? That, that, there was, oh, I had a fucking show at Cobb's.

Speaker 2 Al Magical saw it, where I went to the kitchen and I literally got on my hands and knees and I

Speaker 2 looked up in the sky and just cried. It was that terrible.
Natasha Leger was there and I just gone,

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 there's 10 of them in my life that stays with me. Shows.
Forever. That were so bad.
Yeah. And there are always situations where

Speaker 2 it could have ruined me. Like that show with that Cobb's was

Speaker 2 Zuckerberg. It was for Facebook.
What? Yeah. So Facebook rented out Cobbs.
And they're get us the best comics. It was me, Ian Edwards, Natasha Legiro, Al Magigal.
I thought they said the best comics.

Speaker 2 Back in the...

Speaker 2 All right, come on.

Speaker 2 But at the time. Yeah, no, no, no, great.
Yeah, it was a good,

Speaker 2 very good comics.

Speaker 2 And so, um, and I had to close, right? But by that time, they were drunk. Yeah.
And I just remember, like,

Speaker 2 people are dancing. There's music playing for some reason.
I'm on stage. And people are just like the party had started.
People were just Zuckerberg. Everyone was just dancing, right?

Speaker 2 And I'm telling my jokes, right? People are just dancing, not even paying attention, right? I remember just putting the mic back in, going, getting on my knees, and just screaming, crying.

Speaker 2 Crying in the kitchen. Oh, my God.
It was terrible. I bet you were going to play there again.
Madrigal loved it. You never played Cobbs again after that? No, that's the reason.

Speaker 2 So I played the punchline,

Speaker 2 which is like 150 seats. Well, they're owned by the same person.
Yeah, I know. So Cobbs is like, you know, I could make four money.
425.

Speaker 2 And every year they go, Bobby, you're different now. You can sell it out.
You can make so much money. And I go, I won't enter that.
Because I was, Cobbs is where Dr. Ken Jung physically assaulted me.

Speaker 2 When you guys.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so Cobbs has, there's always

Speaker 2 these events in my life

Speaker 2 that are ingrained in my memory that I just can't. So whenever I walk in, I get this PTSD kind of like, oh, that's where I had the broke.
This is where Ken attacked me.

Speaker 2 Chime. You know, when I was younger,

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Speaker 2 Apparently there was a rumor that, you know, that's like a hotel up above and it was like a halfway house?

Speaker 2 Somebody, there was a rumor that one time a guy died, and you know when you die, you like begin to leak? Your body like leaks after a few days. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 2 And he leaked through the floor, the ceiling.

Speaker 2 That's gross. Like the zip? That's gross.

Speaker 2 No, seriously, he leaked.

Speaker 2 He leaked through the floor. Wait, so your body liquefies, absorbs into the wood when you die.
After a few days, you start to disintegrate, and the liquid inside of you

Speaker 2 leaks out of your body.

Speaker 2 And he leaked through the ceiling, and they had to replace the ceiling. And I'm not kidding.

Speaker 2 The only reason I think I remember this is because when I was there in last year, they had a leak from the hotel again because someone had flooded their apartment or whatever, and it was leaking into the club.

Speaker 2 There was a water, dude. I'm on stage.

Speaker 2 I'm on stage, and I hear this.

Speaker 2 I'm like, what the fuck? I look, there's a bucket, and the audience is laughing because they've already addressed it. Nobody told me, I had no idea.

Speaker 2 I look up, there's a leak coming out of the fucking ceiling.

Speaker 2 And all I could think of was, is this a dead guy?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. They said that some guy had leaked through.
He had done drugs. Your body, I did not know that about the human body.
You know that, Rudy?

Speaker 2 Kinda. What do you know about the body? Kinda.
What do you mean, kinda? When the body dies.

Speaker 2 What have you heard when the body dies?

Speaker 3 I know that the body,

Speaker 3 what's the word that you you use? Dissin.

Speaker 2 Well, it disintegrates. It does kind of slowly.

Speaker 2 It decomposes. Yeah.

Speaker 3 But yeah, I know that the liquids go out because they come out.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You know, like most dead bodies just boop poop.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 whenever I watch like forensic shows and stuff like that, I just, you know, and a lot of people want to do that as a business. Why? Why would you want to do that?

Speaker 2 There's a guy on Twitter. There's an account on Twitter or TikTok or something.
And they show you when they go into crime scenes after they're done done or when people die in their apartment.

Speaker 2 It's insane. They wear hazmat suits.
They have to like clean and disinfect everything. There's so much, when someone dies, there's so much shit everywhere.
Yeah. Blood, poop.

Speaker 2 It's insane how much blood and poop.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because if I was a forensics guy, I watch so many movies that I would do things that they do in movies, and then it's probably not something that you would do in real life.

Speaker 2 So they'd be like, what are you doing? Right?

Speaker 2 Like, you know, if I was at a crime scene and I would like kick the refrigerator and like pull it forward and and they're like what are you doing i go there could be a sign back there looking for evidence yeah yeah sloth

Speaker 2 you know what i mean or whatever you know like he had a heart attack right here yeah who knows who knows i'm ripping out

Speaker 2 seven yeah seven yeah i would do things based on like like the movies you know right right you come in eating a sandwich bobby yeah this is a crime scene

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 2 or like i would put the stuff on that you know like in um um silence of the lambs where they put the stuff underneath the nose i've always wanted to know what that smelled like

Speaker 2 I'm obviously not good. No, the stuff that you do to yeah, it's got to be super strong to magic it.
It must have smelled delicious, though. Maybe it's like it's shit, right? It smells like shit.

Speaker 2 It's probably vapor rub. It's like VIX.
It's probably like menthol. It's strong menthol.
Do you think so? Gotta be. What else can block the smell? What else is that strong?

Speaker 2 It's like some sort of like, you know, like a dragon fruit. Ooh.
Yeah, like a dragon fruity kind of leechy.

Speaker 2 Mandarin leech a few things. It's something like really kind of light, you know what I mean? Sweet, do you think? Yeah.
Or something that maybe mixes well with dead things. So

Speaker 2 with a combination of poop and that makes a good smell. Yeah.
Right. It's a chemical reaction.
I always wanted to know what that smelled like. It's like hot hands.
You know what hot hands are?

Speaker 2 Yeah. It can't just be something you buy at fucking, you know, sell.

Speaker 2 No, no, that's special order type of shit.

Speaker 2 That's some, you got to know someone that has like those

Speaker 2 hookups for like industrial strength things to be able to even get the chemical compounds to do that.

Speaker 2 To be able to have the reaction to do it. You can't buy it at Walgreens, you know? You got to have a hookup.
I don't want to go dark, but I'm going to. Let's do it.

Speaker 2 I don't know why, but that reminds me of that.

Speaker 2 I don't know what the kid's name is, but there was a kid

Speaker 2 who was maybe 11 years old, 12 years old. Okay.
Right.

Speaker 2 And he

Speaker 2 wakes up one day, and

Speaker 2 he has a mom, right? He lives in an apartment. He has a sister as well.
Is it a real story? It's a real story. He wakes up one day, it's a 12-year-old kid, and he goes,

Speaker 2 He gets in a little argument argument with his mom like you know i want to go out and play and she's like no you can't or whatever so he decides to go take his like playstation controller wire and he strangles his mom what yeah he dies

Speaker 2 and then um he cuts her brain like he cuts her skull skull yeah yeah

Speaker 2 By the way, this is why they have wireless controllers now. You know that.

Speaker 2 With this one moment. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And then he decides to stick his finger. Stop it.
No, I'm not kidding you, no, yeah, in her head in her head. He wanted to know what it felt like, right?

Speaker 2 So, he took his finger and he went quick, quick, quick, quick,

Speaker 2 and mixed it. He wanted to mix the brain, he said.
Maybe give her a different thought, right? Then, what this little kid, why he's wild, this kid.

Speaker 2 What he does is I already know what he puts his penis in there, not the brain, the pussy. He has sex with his dead mom, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no, no, not the brain, that's crazy, that would be sick, it'd be funny,

Speaker 2 yeah, right, it'd be funny, yeah. He had sex with his dead mom with a hole in her head.
Yeah. And then this is, he waits for his sister.
Because he's going to do the same thing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but you know what's so funny? Well, I don't know if this is funny.

Speaker 2 You know what's so funny? All right. So this is what he does to turn himself in.

Speaker 2 He goes next door to the, there's this old white people. Yeah.
Right. This old white people.
This couple living in the house. He rings a doorbell and he stands there, right? He's got brain.

Speaker 2 He's got brain on his face, on his fingers. You know what I mean? He's like, he's got his mom's, you know, vaginal juice in his face, sweating, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And he's, hell, he goes, good evening. And they go, young man, what's the matter?

Speaker 2 I fucked my mom.

Speaker 2 No brain.

Speaker 2 You know, he fucking. He just told him.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's like, I killed

Speaker 2 kill my parents, squish my brain.

Speaker 2 Just because she said no to something. What's his name?

Speaker 2 Kevin Davis. Kevin Davis.
Are you sure?

Speaker 3 How is he able to choke his mom?

Speaker 2 Kevin Davis.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. Oh, did you hear what he doesn't seem to? I felt like this was.
Did you hear what Rudy just said? What? Say it.

Speaker 3 How was he able to choke his mom when he was just 11?

Speaker 2 Those cords are hard to break. I mean,

Speaker 2 choking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is.
Kevin Davis. So he choked his mom.
She's got a good point, though. He was really strong at 11 years old.
He looks like an engineer.

Speaker 2 Ew, that's the kid? Yeah. Jesus Christ, what an ugly-looking kid.
I know. That's the mom.

Speaker 2 Oh, poor mom.

Speaker 2 And he was 11 years old?

Speaker 2 He's like, how old was he? Well, you're on it. 14, maybe looking right now.
Yeah, I exaggerated. Rudy, good call.
How can you, an 11-year-old choking out a mom is pretty strong?

Speaker 2 Well, maybe he was a strong kid and she was 15?

Speaker 2 Seven, seven. No, I'm sorry.
Huge gap.

Speaker 2 Massive difference. I know, but you know, when I tell stories, it has to be that.
I understand. So this kid is five, and he's beating the shit out of his father.

Speaker 2 17.

Speaker 2 How gross. Yeah.
How gross. Still young.

Speaker 2 So young. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I got a new show. What's it called? How-to with John Williams on HBO.
Maybe one of the funniest shows I've ever seen in my entire life. It's called How To.

Speaker 2 How To with John Williams, I believe is the name of John Williams. Nathan Fielder, executive, produced it.
You know, Nathan Fielder from Nathan for You, right?

Speaker 2 This kid,

Speaker 2 this guy, this man, makes me laugh so fucking hard. hard.
How to with John Williams. You must watch.
John Wilson. Sorry, John Wilson.

Speaker 2 This guy made me laugh so hard.

Speaker 2 He's basically like a, he's like a filmmaker, and he goes around New York, and he like kind of jumps scenario to scenario to scenario, and you follow him along this like brilliant line of like just free form comedy thinking.

Speaker 2 It's a documentary?

Speaker 2 It's a comedy docuseries, yeah. And he's behind the camera.
You don't really ever, you don't ever get to see him. You just hear him narrate the whole thing.

Speaker 2 Fascinating. Bob, fascinating.
It's so funny. I'll watch it.
It's just such a weird thing.

Speaker 2 I like watching comedies that don't have comedians in it. Yeah, he's definitely just like kind of Nathan Fielder was like a super straight man.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's a comic, but he's a straight man. Why? I should be better at that, you know.
Being a straight man? No, to be able to support friends and things. You do.

Speaker 2 You do. You do.
You support Davey. You talk about my show Davey all the time.
I don't watch it, though. Of course not.

Speaker 2 I know, but it's like I want to be able to go, you know, know, watch something that my friends are in.

Speaker 2 I think if you fall upon it naturally, it's probably better. Yeah, but do you watch things that your friends are in?

Speaker 2 No. No.
No. No, but.
Why? That's not true. I mean, I saw Love and you were in love.
Yeah, but you didn't know I was and I had three lines. That's right.
That doesn't matter. That's correct.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. What else?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm trying to think of the shows that my friends are on that I watched, but like,

Speaker 2 no.

Speaker 2 There's shows that I wish I was friends with the people on the shows. Like what we do in the shadows, I wish I was friends with them.
Oh, right. Because I think they're all funny.

Speaker 2 I know one guy in the world.

Speaker 2 They're brilliant. Who the TV show? Yeah.
Who, Matt? Yeah. He's so funny.
Beyond talented. But

Speaker 2 like, most of the things I watch, I don't have anybody that I know in it. But also, like,

Speaker 2 what are our friends in that we should be watching? What's in some, what's something that we should be seeing? Like when the league was out, did you watch that? I saw a couple episodes. But did you?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah, no, I did.
I did. I watched.
I would watch it. I'd watch it.

Speaker 2 I don't appointment view TV ever. I never was like, I got to watch it on.
Workerholics, you ever watch that on? Sure. I saw some of those too.
Yeah. But I never watch things habitually.

Speaker 2 I don't ever do that.

Speaker 2 Now that we're in this time of like, I can consume all the episodes at one, like I can sit and watch how-to. I can watch them all in one night.
And then I'm done. But that wasn't the way years ago.

Speaker 2 You used to, you know, it's like, oh, I saw this episode. I see that episode.
Yeah, but as a kid, I was a fan. Like, I would watch it.
Me too. Anything comedy-wise, no matter what it was.

Speaker 2 But it was scheduled comedy. like it was tuesday night no it was even just movies like i

Speaker 2 even if it was like a movie right that like

Speaker 2 you know i knew three people in but are they making comedy movies anymore even do you're not getting what i'm saying well like what you're saying you would watch it even if you knew one person and they had one line

Speaker 2 it just takes me out of it because you know them now it takes me out of it right yeah i don't know what it is it's like they could be the best actor it just kind of just makes me go ah who do you think you're friends with that's the best actor

Speaker 2 Which one of your friends is literally the best actor out of all your friends?

Speaker 2 That's a good question. That even the public would go, yeah, that person is probably good.
That I know personally. Yeah, that you're actually friends with, not someone that you like.

Speaker 2 Do they have to be a stand-up? No, just the best actor that you're friends with.

Speaker 2 Like someone that. I think that the best actor that I know is Stone Street.
Eric? Yeah. I mean, he's a very talented actor.
I think he's a good actor. Yeah, he's a good actor.

Speaker 2 He's a really good actor. And he's won Emmys.
Yeah. So that's pretty good.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 What else?

Speaker 2 You think you'll ever win a trophy? No.

Speaker 2 Seriously? No. Do you not care?

Speaker 2 I'm just too scared.

Speaker 2 Of Duke being good? No, I just know myself on sets, and I'm just confused. Right.
I don't think they're confused. You think they know exactly what they know what's going on.

Speaker 2 They know exactly what they're doing. Like, there's like.

Speaker 2 This is so embarrassing to say. Give it.

Speaker 2 This is so embarrassing.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 this is so embarrassing. I have to say it.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 when I just was in Hawaii, right? I don't read the scripts. Do you read the scripts? Yes.

Speaker 2 What? You read the whole script? It's your job. I don't read it.
You've never read the script. No.
I don't know what's going on. So how do you know what scene you're doing?

Speaker 2 I always go, I tell whoever the guy is,

Speaker 2 right? The PA? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Night before, just send me the sides. Right, they do.
Yeah. They email them to you.
Yeah, so I read the sides. But you don't read the full episode.
No, no, no.

Speaker 2 So sometimes I don't know the context of why I'm saying certain things.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? That's a huge issue. Yeah.
So like there was a line where I got, so there was an old lady there, right?

Speaker 2 And we're having this banter back and forth. Right.
I don't know who this old lady is, right? I know her name, real name is Jade Wu. She's from New York.
She's an old Asian actress.

Speaker 2 She's done a million things. Stop saying old.

Speaker 2 Older. She's 67.
Older. Older.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And so we hung out. You know what I mean? We smoked cigarettes together.
We banter about, you know, I mean, life and pandemic and whatnot. Did you guys squat while you smoked? Were you squatting?

Speaker 2 We have chairs, man. Don't be like that.
I just, in my head, you and a little Asian woman squatting and so I can't believe I never thought that. So there was this line where I'm saying, like,

Speaker 2 you know, if you were younger, I would date you.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 2 And timeout, would you? No, but in the line, I say that, right? But I thought I was being literal.

Speaker 2 Oh, you're all right. Right? Because I don't know our relationship because of the context of it.
Because you didn't read the fucking script. Yeah, so I was like reading it like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 You know, if you're younger, I would date you.

Speaker 2 Like, I was being a little real. Yeah, you're being literal.
Literal. And then cut, cut, and

Speaker 2 people talking.

Speaker 2 Right? You could hear people talking. You come to me, you go, dude,

Speaker 2 you're joking.

Speaker 2 And you're like, that's mean. And I wouldn't joke about it.
And I go, oh,

Speaker 2 right? But then it's like, then everyone realizes that you don't read the script. Then I don't read the script.
And there's a little bit of embarrassment going on. Sure.
Right.

Speaker 2 Where I go, ah, sorry, I don't read the scripts. I say that loud.
But they don't care.

Speaker 2 I know, but still, I should read it.

Speaker 2 Yes. Yeah.
Yeah. But

Speaker 2 so I'm doing this. I want people to make an announcement.
Please. Don't roll your eyes.
I didn't.

Speaker 2 I didn't. But I got a big movie.
Bob. Okay.
What is it? I can't tell you what it is. Well, then why even bring it up? Because they won't let me.
But I got a big movie, and I'm the second lead in it.

Speaker 2 Wow. Okay.
Can you say who else is in it?

Speaker 2 No, I don't want to.

Speaker 2 Cover your mouth

Speaker 2 December 12th, I'm going to be in Phoenix. There's some tickets left for me.
I'm doing a couple shows in Phoenix. One-time only desert show.
Rick? Rick Bronson's room? No, I'm going to be

Speaker 2 downtown. Are you doing?

Speaker 2 Stunda Blair. Yeah, yeah.
That's a great room. Three shows.
Three shows. That's a beautiful room.
Phoenix.

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Speaker 2 I've never read any script, right? I've done a thousand things, right? But I'm starting to do it. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. And how was the script? Really good.
Really funny.

Speaker 2 Did you say yes before you got the offer? Or like, did you say yes before you read it? No, because I had to read it first before I had the meeting because I had to still vie for the job. Right.

Speaker 2 Because you were still nervous you might not land. No, I had to, they wanted, they didn't offer it to me.
I had to have a Zoom meeting, right? to talk about the script.

Speaker 2 They just wanted to prove that you could read the script.

Speaker 2 Right. So like when I was in the Zoom call, I had to talk about it.
Right. And go, yeah, I think my character is very interesting because he changes and shifts through, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 And you have to talk about it, right? You have to bullshit. You have to bullshit your way through it.
And I had to immerse myself in the material. I know how to do it.

Speaker 2 When I read a script, I understand it. I understand what characters do and whatnot.
I'm just so lazy. Yeah.
You know, right? I just don't do it. You know what you could do next time is hire somebody

Speaker 2 to read it for you.

Speaker 2 I found that reading it, right, and then also convincing them that I was the right guy for the job was, it made me less nervous about even doing it, really.

Speaker 2 When you read scripts, do you envision it or you're just kind of getting through it? This time I did. I was envisioning it.
And also, I just,

Speaker 2 here's the one thing that I've never done before, I've never done before, where I read it, I was like, I can't wait to do this. But so I read that.

Speaker 2 And it's, you know, I'll be honest with you, everybody listening, is that, you know, I'm getting, you know, and Andrew too, I think, like you too that we're getting a lot of you know love from bad friends bad friends is my favorite no being real I think so am I I like doing this more than I like doing anything else I'm just saying though that are you listening kind of yeah that I feel like what we're doing George you know what's another guy's name Alonzo Alonzo Alonzo

Speaker 2 Rudy, I think what we're doing here is

Speaker 2 a good thing.

Speaker 2 I think it's a wonderful thing. Don't be like that.
I'm beyond genuine right now. This is my favorite thing.
Do you think I'm kidding when I say this?

Speaker 2 I like doing this more than I like doing stand-up more than I like doing Dave. It's just, I get to come here and be free with my friend.
It's like my favorite thing on earth.

Speaker 2 I don't dislike any, I don't, not to disrespect the other things, this is the most fun I get to have. Yeah.
And

Speaker 2 I, unlike you, I do like to read the scripts, and I don't get offered anything. So maybe I should go to not reading them because you.
There's so many things, dude. You beat me out of a rule.

Speaker 2 I already told you that. It's fine.
But that being said,

Speaker 2 on this transitional note, Rudy, as we know, likes bad scripts. She likes terrible stuff that have no depth, no character development.
And so, in lieu of this, Rudy, this is her request.

Speaker 2 She wants us to read a scene from Hunter Hunter, her favorite show.

Speaker 2 And we'll let the fans decide if this is quality material or not.

Speaker 2 Which one am I going to play? Which one am I?

Speaker 2 Andre.

Speaker 2 Jordan Kalua. I'm Kalua.
I'm Kalua. Ikalgo.
Yes. Which one? You're Icalgo.
Well, go ahead and tell us how to say the name. You're the one that you're the expert.

Speaker 3 Kiloa, Kila, and Ikalgo.

Speaker 2 Icalgo. Which do I get? I don't.

Speaker 2 This is my wig that they got for me.

Speaker 2 Do you want to wear this? No, you can wear it. It's not going to fit on your head.
Well, because I need to look Asian. You guys do look Asian.

Speaker 2 I'm the only one in here that doesn't look Asian, so I need to look like an Asian.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Do I look Asian? No, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 That didn't work. I don't look Asian? No, you look better.
I look gooder. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I look more good. Okay.
I'm Kalua. And who's Rudy?

Speaker 2 Nothing. Rudy's not in this.
No. I was going to read.
Oh, you're going to read the narrator. Oh, you're going to be the narrator.
Yeah. Yeah, because we can't hear Fancy B.
He's too tough to make out.

Speaker 2 Okay, here we go. This is a scene from Hunter Hunter, Rudy's favorite show.
Look at her smile. Look at her.
See, we try to make her happy, too. Okay, ready? Yeah.
Go ahead, Rude.

Speaker 3 Previously, on Hunter, Hunter.

Speaker 2 These suction cups save me. Anyway,

Speaker 2 aren't you an octopus?

Speaker 2 Intro sequence: Hunter, Hunter.

Speaker 3 Go ahead.

Speaker 3 Strange beasts and monsters, vast riches, hidden treasures, evil hunts, uncharted frontiers, the mysterious unknown, the people who are captivated by the magic in those worlds are called hunters.

Speaker 3 A mob of assassins attacks Kilowa after he and Gon split up to stop the selection. One of them is Ikago, an octopus chimera ant.

Speaker 2 Aren't you an octopus? Don't call me octopus!

Speaker 2 He flies away. See ya!

Speaker 2 I need to find a new horse or I catch hot up my next shot. I'll let the orpho siblings take care for me here.

Speaker 3 But out of nowhere, Kiyoa jumps on him, grabs his gun, and attacks and attacked himself to a rock using the Kimira arms.

Speaker 2 Yo! We meet again.

Speaker 2 Can I ask you something?

Speaker 2 Why didn't you dive underwater to escape? You should have an advantage in the water.

Speaker 2 Don't tell me you can't swim.

Speaker 2 It's the blood, right? When they smell blood, your bodies in the water go berserk and ask the injured, no matter who it is. With those wounds, if you went in there, you'd be torn to shreds.

Speaker 2 Am I wrong?

Speaker 2 That one way too.

Speaker 2 Andreas, you're the dragonfly. Or dregonfly.
Icargo, did you finish up the kid? No, he can change his voice. Jesus Christ, George.
Try to change your voice. Or anything.
Can't do it again.

Speaker 2 Can't lead him into it with your OL. Oh, well, I suppose that's one way, too.

Speaker 2 Ikalgo, did you finish off the kid? Same voice. He didn't even seem like

Speaker 2 a small attempt to change the voice.

Speaker 2 We're going to do it one more time.

Speaker 2 It's not even hard. It's not hard at all.
Oh, well. I suppose that one way, too.

Speaker 2 Oh, Icalgo, did you finish off off the kid

Speaker 2 you're fired

Speaker 2 no wait let's give george a shot george go ahead try try to be the dragonfloat well i suppose that one way too oh god the kid

Speaker 2 pretty good you're you're you're you're hired no we were still fighting who are you talking to you screwed up

Speaker 2 wait wait Did we change roles there? Yep. Yep, let me do it again.

Speaker 2 Okay. No, we're still fighting.

Speaker 2 Who are you talking to? I screw up. Right.
You can. You all can communicate via telepathy.
Talking to your boss, it's that guy who was flying over me, right?

Speaker 2 Wait.

Speaker 2 Now look here.

Speaker 2 Oh, so.

Speaker 2 Hey, Calgo!

Speaker 2 He's Spanish.

Speaker 2 It's so funny, he sounds more Hispanic than Andres does.

Speaker 2 You could say that. What I might be doing.
Yes, we're still fighting.

Speaker 3 A dragonfly creature fight in the forest.

Speaker 2 I think Jules are free. Jules, you're the creature.

Speaker 2 Okay, ready? A dragonfly creature enters the forest.

Speaker 3 Oh, sorry to interrupt you. Let me know if you learn anything.
If he sees a dozen of dragonfly flying around inside a cave, the enemy would go suspicious. I won't be able to send my satellite.

Speaker 3 Dragonfly inside.

Speaker 2 Very good, Joel. Back in the cave.

Speaker 2 Let's make a deal then. If you tell me about this power, I'll spare your life.
You have ten seconds to answer.

Speaker 3 Kila throws the chimera arms in the water. The sea creatures go crazy, devouring it.

Speaker 2 Eight seconds left.

Speaker 3 Ikalgo is puzzled.

Speaker 2 Six seconds.

Speaker 3 Ikalgo's mind wanders, dreaming.

Speaker 2 I wanted to take it for a squeeze.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't give anything to him.

Speaker 2 Being the truth.

Speaker 2 Do similar, if so, you're not mistaken. Octopi are ugly.
Squids are squiderific. I think they look divine.

Speaker 2 Two seconds. I won't betray a body.

Speaker 3 Ikagu cut his arm off and falls in slow motion.

Speaker 2 Yes, I could see that in your eyes. I could only hope that in my next life, I'll be poor or squid.

Speaker 3 With quick moves, Kiloa catches Ikagu, rescuing from a certain death.

Speaker 2 In different circumstances, we could have been friends.

Speaker 2 Wow. I kind of want to watch a show now.

Speaker 2 Are we close?

Speaker 3 Your voices are very different because Kiloa is an 11-year-old.

Speaker 2 Oh. Oh.

Speaker 2 What's Kildalgo?

Speaker 3 Ikalgo is an octopus. He has like a squeaky voice.

Speaker 2 Why does he keep saying, don't call me an octopus, when he is one?

Speaker 3 Because he doesn't want to be an octopus.

Speaker 2 Who does he want to be?

Speaker 3 A squid, because all of his friends bully him.

Speaker 2 Oh, this is deep. Oh, we did.
I wish I would. That's a context that we should have had.
Well, if you read scripts, you'd know context.

Speaker 2 Lesson is learned here. That's pretty impressive, though.
I got to be honest with you. At first, I thought that was going to be like fooy, and I really did like it.

Speaker 2 Like, at first, I was like, this is stupid, but it's really good, huh?

Speaker 2 Did you watch that show Undoing on HBO? No. Okay.
What is it? What is it?

Speaker 2 Is that what it's called? Yes. The undoing.
Did you finish it? I did. Because I'm on

Speaker 2 a... It's not a comedy, right? It's not.
No, no, no.

Speaker 2 I'm on episode... Andre's like, it's a murder mystery.
Yeah, I finished episode four.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And it's just so depressing that it's like, I find it hard to continue. Is it worth it?

Speaker 2 I think so. It just...
Now, listen, like, I'm at a point. Maybe I'll talk to you after the show about it, but, you know, it's like, it's just so fucking depressing.
It's like. The undoing?

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 listen, Nicole Kidman. By the way, we can't give spoilers away anymore because people online are really mad that whenever we talk about a show, we just give away the show.

Speaker 2 I think we've done that like six times.

Speaker 2 People are like, why are you guys spoiling the show? They're not going to watch it. They are.
They're not. All right, give it away.

Speaker 2 No, I haven't seen, I haven't, I don't know, because I don't want him to spoil it for me. That's why I want to talk to him afterwards.
All right, good. Talk to him afterwards.
Don't ruin it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Don't ruin

Speaker 2 the depth of the undoing. Rudy,

Speaker 2 you have a surprise for us, I heard. George told me you've got something.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Take a chance on me. Sing it.
No.

Speaker 2 Do it now. No.
No. She was singing Take a Chance on Me by Abba.

Speaker 2 Take a chance on me.

Speaker 2 Take a chance on me.

Speaker 3 I only know the chorus.

Speaker 2 Take a chance, take a chance, take a chance, take a chance, take a chance, take a chance,

Speaker 3 take a chance on me.

Speaker 3 Take a chance on me.

Speaker 3 That's it.

Speaker 2 I want to talk about our new puppy. Oh, yeah.
But wait a minute. Don't you have yeah, I want to hear it, but don't you have a report for us?

Speaker 3 Oh, I have something to promote.

Speaker 2 Yeah, what is it?

Speaker 3 I'm doing a senior project that focuses more on like giving back to the community, specifically for the dogs in the Philippines.

Speaker 2 This is great.

Speaker 3 And then there are about 12 million stray dogs in the Philippines, and most of them are Askals.

Speaker 3 Askals are our indigenous street dogs, and they're often overlooked, abused, and not taken care of because they aren't purebred.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 3 I'm doing, I'm going to be selling shirts, beanies, and stickers and to raise money. And everything that I will profit will be given to.

Speaker 3 um five main shelters in cebu and maybe manila especially at a time like this where a typhoon just hit the philippines awful so a lot of dogs have died a lot uh are currently starving so i hope you help me in this and sell, um, buy my things.

Speaker 2 Yes, what are you selling? Shirts, shirts beats.

Speaker 2 Are they just your shirts that say your face? I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 3 Um, the

Speaker 3 um designs will be dogs.

Speaker 2 Um, you're and you're designing them?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'm gonna be

Speaker 2 isn't that awesome? That's awesome, yeah, 12,000 stray dogs, 12 million. Yeah, what no, 12 million, no, Rudy, no way, Yeah.
12 million. 12.
You go there. That's all you do.
12 million stray dogs?

Speaker 2 Yeah, just dogs. Yeah, yeah.
She did say she was like, a typhoon hit, and I was like, God, all those people. She's like, but the dogs were dead.
Yeah, yeah. The people of

Speaker 2 the people. No, but you do see a lot of them, and they're like, they're like, you know, they look like pirate dogs.

Speaker 2 They're just like walking with one eye missing. Like a wooden paw.
You know what I mean? Just like walking down the street. And it's just like, the dog is smoking.
Yeah, yeah. It's really sad.
Sad.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So, Rudy, when's that stuff going to be up? We have to tell the peeps when it's going to be up.

Speaker 3 It's still going to be next year.

Speaker 2 Next year. So at the beginning of next year, you guys got to watch out to support

Speaker 2 the Rudejude because

Speaker 2 she deserves it. She wants to help out other people.
And all the profits are going to go to a foundation. Is that what it is? Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 2 Were you there when we went to the Philippine, we're in Cebu and we fed the kid, those homeless. Are they homeless? Kids?

Speaker 3 They live in squatter areas.

Speaker 2 Squatter areas. Yeah.
So there's.

Speaker 2 We went and got like little lunch boxes, thousands of them. Yeah.
In a truck. Okay.
And we go to this place. Right.
And it's like roosters and just garbage and then this landfill.

Speaker 2 Right. And then they have like little like, they could be huts or caves.
What are they? Hut caves. Hut caves, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And you have a table, you set it up, and they all come running out. And some of them are naked.

Speaker 2 They are. I'm sorry.
Why are are you laughing? Well, because when you I think about you naked when you say naked, I'm naked too, I know, and I'm running with them.

Speaker 2 You're like, We brought you idiots, we brought you lunch,

Speaker 2 and it's like, um, and goats as well, right? There's goats, right, tied to like

Speaker 2 on sticks, yeah, on the ground, right? And they're just like, Is it food? No, I don't know what they are. Are they pets?

Speaker 2 Food, it's for it's for milk and for right, yeah, goats milk and but um, it's just uh and then you when you're when you're, you know, and you're feeding them, and

Speaker 2 it's, and when you're doing that, you just kind of realize, you know,

Speaker 2 we have to do more of it.

Speaker 2 I completely agree.

Speaker 2 We do.

Speaker 2 Every year we adopt either a family or we adopt teenagers that are homeless here in Los Angeles. And I got to tell you.
You told me this yesterday. I got to tell you, on the phone.
It moves me.

Speaker 2 And here's why. And I'm being very genuine when I say this.
Okay. I had two moments of like movement in my life that comedy aside,

Speaker 2 when you get the email of the request list from these people and what they want from for Christmas, and it would make you feel disgusting about yourself because it's like socks, paper towels, a bath towel,

Speaker 2 like a new towel to take a shower.

Speaker 2 And you get these lists and you're like, this is all this kid wants? They don't ask for toys. They don't ask for like, hey, I want the new PS5.

Speaker 2 It's like, hey, I'd love socks i don't even have socks or i don't even have a fucking clean bath towel

Speaker 2 so we didn't get him any of that we got him a ps5 but

Speaker 2 no but i but it does make you feel like oh

Speaker 2 it just it puts per things a perspective it puts a lot of things in check and subsequently of course yesterday i was having a long day we're shooting 15 hour days on davey it's insane i shot till 3 a.m this morning oh my god and one of the girls in one of the scenes was sitting there next to me and i was kind of out of it not paying attention to because there I'm not up I'm in my chair Yeah, and I'm kind of like dozing out of it and she was saying oh, I love the show I said oh, thanks.

Speaker 2 That's very cool And she's like I'm just so elated to be here and I said yeah, she was like a guest star for the day I said yeah, that's it's awesome I'm glad that you're here.

Speaker 2 You're you're doing great

Speaker 2 and then it's kind of quiet and she goes is this not exciting for you? I said no no no I just it's it's one in the morning.

Speaker 2 I'm tired and we got here, you know, and she's like, no, I know, I know, yeah, I know I was here and she was peppy. And she goes, just you, just, just know you're living someone's dream.

Speaker 2 That's what she said to you, yeah, and then they you know what I was that that's crossing the fucking line. Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Speaker 2 She, she meant because she's living out her dream, and she's like, you're living someone's dream. This is this is, she didn't mean it as like a F you to me,

Speaker 2 so she walked away and did her scene, and it made me, it made me like sit in it for me. I was like, that is right, this is somebody's dream.
Oh, sorry. It was.
It's somebody's dream. I apologize.

Speaker 2 And then

Speaker 2 I walked up to to the second AD, and I said, what's that girl's name? And he said her name, and I said, okay, good. And he said, why? What's up? And I said, you know,

Speaker 2 I want to remember her name. And I want to say her name today.
What's her name?

Speaker 2 You forgot. I forgot.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I forgot.

Speaker 2 And genuinely, I had her fired because I said, don't you fucking talk to a principal actor that way.

Speaker 2 You guest star. I know.
I struck her across the face and I said, get me a tea.

Speaker 2 No, she was very sweet and genuinely, I didn't ask for her name. But I did, it did make me think, oh, yeah, this is neat.
That is

Speaker 2 someone's dream. So it put things into perspective.
It's the holidays, you know. Yeah, it's tough for you to absorb that kind of stuff.
It's just, it's difficult. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 2 Hello, Bob. Hi.
No, see, you didn't absorb that time. No, I don't want to.
Right. Yeah, I didn't want to absorb that time.
Right, now you're a block. Yeah.
Wall. There's a wall.
There's a big wall up.

Speaker 2 You have to let those people get.

Speaker 2 You know, it is someone's dream. It is, of course it is.
Right? It's a lot of people's dream.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and it's like... Like, you got to go to Hawaii.
Shoot Magnum P.I. Ooh.
That's incredible. It is incredible, but

Speaker 2 can I just say this? They flew you.

Speaker 2 I'm taking my jacket off. Take it off, Papa.
I'm taking my jacket off. Is this the closer? No.

Speaker 2 That's not the closer. No, it's not the closer.
It is someone's dream. And you have to remember that.
That's fine. And I believe that.
Okay. But.

Speaker 2 there's no but there's a but

Speaker 2 you know, it's

Speaker 2 there. It is that's the but no, it's not okay.
I didn't say but I said it for you, but but I don't want that in it, okay. I won't, all right, but but but

Speaker 2 really, yeah, I do need to say but yeah, you have to say but

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 2 it's not as if and and my journey is not your journey, correct, right? We have different two different journeys, but

Speaker 2 there it is,

Speaker 2 I know

Speaker 2 when I'm on a set and I see like a girl that like her parents are actors and actresses, right? And they're 17, right? Right. And they, this is the first thing I auditioned for, and I got it, right?

Speaker 2 Right. Maybe for that person, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 It's somebody else's dream. They should be fucking grateful.
But for me, it's like, you know, I came here, you know,

Speaker 2 from a different

Speaker 2 from Korea. It felt like that, right? You know, it felt like I'm homeless.

Speaker 2 I was in LA living with, I'm not trying to do a boo-hoo story, but like with 12 guys in a one-bedroom apartment in Silver, like for years. So this was your dream?

Speaker 2 No, and I'm just saying, though, that like, and then like, I crawled

Speaker 2 10,000 auditions,

Speaker 2 getting nothing. Right.
Right? Yeah. And then finally, like, getting to a place where because of podcasting, I feel like talent, ability, you know, whatever, you know what I mean? Sure.

Speaker 2 And so when I'm on the set, I don't really go. When people go, well, this is great a dream.
It's like, bitch, I fucking worked my way here. Right.
Should I have said that to her?

Speaker 2 No, but that's how I feel about it. Right.
Right? It's like, I don't, you know, it's like, yeah, you're fucking, you have a dream, but it's like, I fucking crawled my way into the situation. Right.

Speaker 2 You earned it. I worked at it.

Speaker 2 And you worked at it by not reading one one script. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I feel like I'm being ungrateful, but there is a feeling of like, dude, I fucking worked to get here. These two things can exist.
Are you sure? 100%.

Speaker 2 I feel gross saying it. That's good.
But, you know what I mean? Like that Chris Rock story. I had to go through that.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 2 I had to live through just, you know what I mean that? I had to live through like, you know. Tearing your clothes.
Yeah, not being able to eat for weeks. Yeah.
Right? Yes.

Speaker 2 When when i did that scene in hawaii with that lady jade woo right the lady that you didn't yeah correct okay and we hung out right and there's another lady on the show named amy hill okay right who she played um

Speaker 2 margaret cho's grandmother when she had her show american girl back in the day right okay so i'm friends with amy right and i know right

Speaker 2 especially Asian women from these are actresses from the 70s, 80s, and 90s, right? Who had to live through being concubines, right? Having one line, right?

Speaker 2 And just having these terrible roles that they had to fucking audition for.

Speaker 2 You know, working at a liquor store and they have broken English. And they had to do it.
There was so much more than that, right? You break you by every day. Yeah, right, right.

Speaker 2 So now, right, now they're getting shit. Sure.
Right?

Speaker 2 I don't look at somebody like Jade Wu or fucking Amy Hill and go, wow, you're lucky to be here. You worked your ass off.

Speaker 2 You went through some fucking difficult decades where Hollywood treated like shit. So when they're getting these like regular lines with no accents and they're

Speaker 2 they get to play real people in a real show, right? I don't, I just applaud them and I go, you know, you fucking deserve to be here. Totally.
Right? Yeah. And you worked your ass off.

Speaker 2 But you're not lucky. They're living someone's dream.

Speaker 2 That's all. She's just saying, you're living someone's dream.
How wonderful.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 there's certain things about you, right? You know what I'm saying? Right. Yeah.
And you like to, because I have a sore throat right now because I'm being argumentative. Yes.

Speaker 2 And you like to throw fucking hot coals in it. Mm-hmm.
Why do you think I do that?

Speaker 2 You like to play devil's advocate. Why do you think? And why do you think? You get me riled up so I can have a stroke so he can kill me.
Well, it makes for a good show.

Speaker 2 If you stroked out on this show, one of our most successful episodes.

Speaker 2 I know. Are you kidding me? I know.

Speaker 2 The The thumbnail would you be the thumbnail would you be you stroking out and me going it would be wonderful by the way make that the thumbnail me going like this and Bobby yeah, there it is

Speaker 2 You're correct. You worked very hard.
You deserve what you got. What I'm saying is perspective-wise, she didn't mean it any negative way.
She just meant you're living someone's dream. How wonderful.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but a gall, right? Just listen, though. You think she's

Speaker 2 sitting there on set, right? Yeah. You know what I mean? And you memorize your lines, right? And

Speaker 2 you're getting focused on the scene.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And some girl going,

Speaker 2 we're just really lucky to be here. You're living someone's dream.
I just kind of want to go, yeah, tick, and just poke her fucking flick her eye.

Speaker 2 I want to grab her cheeks and go, oh, yeah, look like,

Speaker 2 right?

Speaker 2 That's what I want to do. What do you think, Rudy? But then what you have to, yeah, go ahead.
I want to hear her because she's got good perspective. She's young.
She's smarter than us.

Speaker 3 Um, I understand, Cito Barbie, that you work hard for it, but you do. The intention of the girl wasn't bad.
He just, she just said that you're living someone else's dream let her finish

Speaker 3 there are people there who doesn't who doesn't who wasn't born to be like for like fortunate and then yeah they're just like they're they have they dream of something better and then

Speaker 3 i i don't know the girl's intention wasn't bad then why

Speaker 2 the intention's not bad

Speaker 2 the intention's not bad okay she comes from a good place right it's It's just it's one in the morning. Yeah, it's one in the one thing.
Okay, you're tired. I'm very tired, right?

Speaker 2 She doesn't know you that well. Not at all.
You don't know your history or anything, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And just to have, say, this bubbly thing, like, you know, you're living someone's dream just out of nowhere. You know what I mean? What I would have done is I would have went, oh, nice.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 That's right. You guys are responsible.
But then you should see, she's not going to see the other side of it. What is that? Where I go, thank you.

Speaker 2 Like, she won't see this part of the face, right? But that's what I would have done. Right.

Speaker 2 Right? It's that turn of, like, absorb and, like, what the fuck? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, how dare you? Oh, yeah, you're bummed. Right? Mm-hmm.
But then you come back around like this,

Speaker 2 yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. All right, let's try.
Let's try the exercise right now. Yeah.
You're on set.

Speaker 2 All right. And Rudy is the girl.
Yeah. Rudy, say it and let's see how Bobby reacts.
Given the circumstances.

Speaker 2 What do you want me to do? I want you to understand what she was just saying to you and what I was trying to say to you as well. Okay, go ahead.
And take that into consideration with your response.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Hi.

Speaker 2 Hi. Well, you said hi just so that this is our fourth scene together.
I just want to let you know.

Speaker 2 As an actress,

Speaker 2 I know your name is Sally, right? So Sally, I want to say we said you said hi to me,

Speaker 2 you know, nine hours ago on our first scene. Is this how you're really going to react? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So don't say hi again. It's weird.
Sally, say hi if you want to say hi. I want to say hi.

Speaker 2 Hi again. Hi again, Sally.

Speaker 2 Here we are. I'm set doing our fourth scene.
Hi.

Speaker 2 Okay, act like, come on, here we go. Okay,

Speaker 2 let's start from the top. Yeah, please.
And let me be real, how I normally would do it. Do it for real.
All right, so I'm sitting there. I have my script in my hand.

Speaker 2 No, you know, you have your phone in your hand. You have my sides.
You have your phone in your hand. I always have my sides crumble up.
I'm looking at it. Okay.
Okay. That's true.
Okay.

Speaker 2 And I have to highlight certain things. Okay.
All right. So I'm highlighting.

Speaker 2 Go ahead.

Speaker 2 Whenever you're ready.

Speaker 3 Hi, Bobby.

Speaker 2 No, no, no. Let me

Speaker 2 just

Speaker 2 tweet again. Say the same thing.
I want to give you a quote.

Speaker 2 No, why? That was right.

Speaker 2 Hi, Bobby.

Speaker 2 Hey, Sally.

Speaker 3 It must have been nice, huh?

Speaker 2 It's a bit nice.

Speaker 3 It must have been nice, huh?

Speaker 2 It's a bit has been nice, too. Yes.

Speaker 2 It's nice. It's nice.

Speaker 2 What is nice?

Speaker 3 To be living someone else's dream.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 It sure is. Aren't you grateful? I am so grateful that I am living off someone else's dream.
Thank you for sharing that, Sally.

Speaker 3 Okay, bye.

Speaker 2 Bye.

Speaker 2 Okay, bye. Bye.
And I'm just, then,

Speaker 2 and then I'll be pretending to read my script or my lines. Right, you're not reading.
The whole time, I'm thinking about, you know, I might even Google her to find out.

Speaker 2 Does her IMDb, like if she's worked before? Right.

Speaker 2 Sally McMullen.

Speaker 2 Sally McMullen.

Speaker 2 Oh, this is her first thing.

Speaker 2 That's where it's coming from. And now knowing that,

Speaker 2 now she comes back and she's now going to ask you, hey, do you know where Crafty is?

Speaker 3 Hey, do you know where Crafty is?

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's right there where all the fucking peanuts and the fucking MMs are. See, right there? With the table right next to me?

Speaker 2 You know what?

Speaker 2 I'm not being mean. You asked me where it was, and I'm just telling you it's right there.
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
Enjoy.

Speaker 3 Thank you.

Speaker 2 Bye. You're welcome.

Speaker 2 Fucking newcomer. Relax.

Speaker 2 Your scene's up in a minute. All right.

Speaker 2 Sally. Yeah.
Do you have to go to the bathroom? Yeah. You should ask where the bathroom is.

Speaker 3 Bobby?

Speaker 2 Sally.

Speaker 2 It's you again sally hello sally do you know where the bathroom is oh sally i really need to pee i know you do and um i just wanted to let you know real quick and it's really great to work with you right but um i am a principal on the show i'm not a pa see john hey ask him hey i'm john yeah john ask him but it's my first time here

Speaker 2 see where that's see that door right there it says woman it has a symbol of a woman with a dress on it right yeah that's the bathroom oh i didn't see, sorry. It's right right by Crafty.

Speaker 2 Right by Crafty. She didn't see it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah right by Crafty, right?

Speaker 2 Ask him to go to the bathroom with you.

Speaker 3 Can you go to the bathroom with me?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 No. In case I get lost.

Speaker 2 Sally, I'm being honest with you right now.

Speaker 2 I'll be honest. Are you a blind

Speaker 2 special needs actor? I mean, what is going on here?

Speaker 3 I don't have my contacts on.

Speaker 2 Oh, shit. All right.
Fine. My bad.
All right. Let's go.

Speaker 2 Thank you. It's right here.
That's how quick, by the way. Has to wait for you.

Speaker 3 Can you wait for me?

Speaker 2 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 I get really scared when I pee.

Speaker 2 You get scared. Okay.
And it takes long. Oh, wait, right here.
But you know,

Speaker 2 we're about to shoot our scenes. Can you just take your time, but hurry up? It takes long.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Now you've fallen in.

Speaker 2 Now, no, no. This is.
Now, I'm going to tell you what's going to happen now. No, no, hold on.
Let her. Something happened.

Speaker 3 Wait, Bobby, I fell on the toilet. Oh, she fell.

Speaker 2 You have to help me. You have to help.
You have to get in there and help, Bob.

Speaker 3 You can't watch me, though.

Speaker 2 You can't watch me, though. I can't watch you.
You have to close your eyes.

Speaker 2 You have to close your eyes.

Speaker 2 Fuck you.

Speaker 2 I'm opening my eyes. No, fuck you.
Be nice. She's the same.
John, John. I fuck you, TA.
All right.

Speaker 2 First of all, I want to say this, okay? Yeah. Number one, who the fuck is this? Am I being pranked? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, this is a bad. Yeah, you got pranked.
Sorry.

Speaker 2 Sorry, man. This is actually the director for the next next four episodes.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And the way you treated her, that's going to get reported. So you think that what I just did there, right, is mean? Okay, I'll show you.
Okay, tell me how it's done. All right, go ahead.

Speaker 2 Now you're doing with Andrew.

Speaker 3 Hi, Andrew.

Speaker 2 Hey, what's up?

Speaker 2 Already? Fuck you, alright? This is how I would do it. I know, it's not.

Speaker 4 That's how it happened.

Speaker 2 I know. Ready? This is how it happened.
Ready? Okay.

Speaker 3 Hi, Andrew.

Speaker 2 Hey, how you doing?

Speaker 2 Let me get through it. I love it.

Speaker 2 Go ahead. I love it.

Speaker 3 Isn't it nice?

Speaker 2 What's that?

Speaker 3 Isn't it nice to be living someone else's dream?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Aren't you grateful?

Speaker 2 I am. I actually am, Sally.

Speaker 3 I'm also grateful.

Speaker 2 Where are you from?

Speaker 3 Texas.

Speaker 2 Oh, nice. What part of Texas?

Speaker 3 Somewhere there.

Speaker 2 What city?

Speaker 2 What city in Texas?

Speaker 2 Dallas. Oh, I love Dallas.

Speaker 3 I also love it.

Speaker 2 Where do you live?

Speaker 2 I live here. I live in Los Angeles.
You mean where I'm from? Yeah, I mean. I'm from Chicago.
Oh. Okay.
You know, there's something about Dallas.

Speaker 2 I don't know if you've ever known, but if you go down 386, if you're on that highway on the right-hand side, there's one of my favorite little stores there. Have you ever been to Bunham's Web? No way.

Speaker 2 No, you haven't. You have to go.
You have to go. Give me your phone number.
I'll text you. I'll text you the address for Bunham's Web.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 2 What's your number?

Speaker 3 590.

Speaker 2 590? Yeah.

Speaker 2 590. All right.

Speaker 2 So it's 59 in the letter D?

Speaker 3 Zero. 590.

Speaker 2 590?

Speaker 3 1878.

Speaker 2 1878. All right, I'm going to call you right now to make sure that's your number.
That's not.

Speaker 2 Oh, you got it? Yeah, I got it. Okay, great.
Show me that you got it.

Speaker 2 Cool. Okay, bye.
Okay, bye.

Speaker 2 Scene.

Speaker 2 A great exchange. She left.

Speaker 2 Right. She left.
Yeah. All I had to do was talk about something that she wasn't interested in.
Okay. And she left.
This is what you do, though. Let's do it for real.
I'll tell you.

Speaker 2 Let's do it for real. Let's do it for real.
You want to see it for real? You would not do that. Number one, right? I know, I know.
Let's do it for real. You asked her, right, what part of Texas.

Speaker 2 And if she didn't know, you, Andrew Santino, would have known she was lying. She was a liar.
Or there's something weird about how she doesn't know what city she lives in.

Speaker 2 It did piss me off. So you would have confronted that.
Okay, let's go. Let's say this is for real.
I'll do it for real. Here we go.
Give her a different state, right?

Speaker 2 Throw him a different state. She can do it.
She knows all the states. Go ahead.
She had to learn the capitals to become a citizen.

Speaker 3 Hi. Hi, Andrew.

Speaker 2 Hey, Sally.

Speaker 3 Isn't it nice to be living someone else's dream?

Speaker 3 Aren't you grateful? I am.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I am. I am, actually.
That's a very,

Speaker 2 yes, I am, Sally.

Speaker 3 It's my first time here, so I'm also grateful.

Speaker 2 Is this your first show? You've ever. Oh my god.
Yeah. This is wonderful, huh? Well, I gotta tell you, you're doing a good job.
Thank you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay, bye. Bye.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's what happens. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Let me try it. See? Let me try it.
Let's try it. Yeah, let me try it.

Speaker 2 Wait.

Speaker 2 Give me the. Give me the.

Speaker 3 Hi, Bobby.

Speaker 2 Hi, Sally.

Speaker 3 Isn't it nice that you're living someone else's dream?

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 3 Isn't it nice to be living someone else's dream?

Speaker 3 Yeah. Aren't you grateful? I am.

Speaker 2 Nice. It's nice to live someone else's dream.
Thank you. You know, really, you know, it's funny.

Speaker 2 Here it goes.

Speaker 2 It's funny, Sally. You know, a lot of times in this rigman roll, in this business, you know.
Ah, it's rigamum roll.

Speaker 2 You become self-centered and it's all about me, me, me, me, me.

Speaker 2 And, you know, it's really nice every once in a while to just live in the moment, take a deep breath, and to realize that we are so fucking grateful to be here. That's right.

Speaker 2 That we're working, you know. And what an amazing fucking job we have.
Is that not right, Sally? It is. Where are you from, Sally?

Speaker 3 I'm from Wyoming.

Speaker 2 Wyoming, what city in Wyoming? Why? You don't know any city in Wyoming.

Speaker 2 Like, what? You picked this state with no city that you know.

Speaker 2 Then don't ask where you can.

Speaker 2 They'll give you a different state, all right? Wait, but how you know cities in states? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, what state are you from, Sally?

Speaker 3 I'm from California.

Speaker 2 There we go. What part of California?

Speaker 3 San Francisco.

Speaker 2 I'm from San Francisco. Cool.

Speaker 2 You know, Bobby used to play Cobbs in San Francisco. You ever go to Cobbs?

Speaker 2 No. Oh.

Speaker 2 What comedy clubs do you go to in San Francisco?

Speaker 2 This bitch isn't from San Francisco.

Speaker 2 You're a liar.

Speaker 2 Let's expose her. Where are you really from?

Speaker 3 I'm from the Philippines.

Speaker 2 What are you doing here on this set?

Speaker 2 What are you doing on this show?

Speaker 3 I'm just an intern.

Speaker 2 You're just an intern?

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 2 Why do you have sides and why are you in wardrobe? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Someone told me to do it.

Speaker 2 Who?

Speaker 3 Andrew.

Speaker 2 Are we all high?

Speaker 2 This episode is specifically for people that smoke pop.

Speaker 2 Let's say this.

Speaker 2 I will say something. I'm grateful that you are back and you're healthy and you're safe.
I'm happy to see you. I'm happy to see both of those guys.

Speaker 2 And I'm excited. I'm excited for the holidays to come.
I put up my Christmas lights and my house looks sparkling. It's nice.
Jingle.

Speaker 2 Did you put up your lights on your house?

Speaker 2 Are you going to pay someone to do it? No, no, nothing. Pay someone to do it.
I'm not going to do it. Will you pay me and I'll do it?

Speaker 2 Yeah, we'll do that next episode when we talk about Christmas, but I want to talk about it right now. Will you pay me to put up your lights? No, I'm not putting up fucking lights.

Speaker 2 Because you're Jewish? No, I'm just not Jewish. It's like, well, it's pointless.

Speaker 2 Speaking of which, Rudy's comment about Jewish, about who celebrates Thanksgiving the next day, and it was Canadians, and she gets Jewish, and boy, is the Jewish community pissed. Huh? So mad.
So mad.

Speaker 2 They are pissed.

Speaker 3 I didn't mean it like that.

Speaker 2 I'm kidding, Rudy. I'm joking.
People love it. She did get somebody to attack her on Instagram.
What do you mean? She got her first like. Hate Hate her.
Yeah. If you know why? Why?

Speaker 2 Because she's here living someone's dream. Oh my gosh.
Thank you for being a bad friend.