The Fight & Rudy's Gotta Boyfriend!

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Speaker 2 Happy Cyber Monday. Do you want a Bad Friends merch, tie-dye shirt, or hoodie? They're restocked, baby.
So go to badfriendsmerch.com. That's the only place to get official bad friends gear.

Speaker 2 Or just go right down below in the merch bar. You can see there's going to be all the stuff restocked.
So happy shopping. You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 2 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 2 You two or something. We're bad friends.
What did you watch last night? Well, it was a movie called The Dark and the Wicked. And

Speaker 2 I didn't know, I've never heard anything about it. So, you know, I saw it on iTunes.
I was like, I'll look at some reviews. And, like, I saw 30 reviews on YouTube.
So I bought it.

Speaker 2 I watched it last night. Oh, it's so good.
The Dark and the Wicked. Oh, yeah.
Who's in it? No one that you would know, but a lot of white people. No, I know a lot of white people.

Speaker 2 I know, but there's so many white people. You don't know all the white people.
You don't know. We kind of know each other.
Not all the whites. Well, name one.
I don't even know their names.

Speaker 2 I mean, I've never seen them before.

Speaker 2 The dark and the wicked. But it's like,

Speaker 2 it's basically, I'll just tell you the premise of the movie. Ooh.

Speaker 2 By the way,

Speaker 2 Marin Ireland, know her. Michael Abbott Jr., I know him.
Julie Oliver Touchstone, Lynn Andrews, Tom Nowicki, Michael Zachstead. You know all those guys.
I know all these bucks.

Speaker 2 From your white meetings? Yeah, my white meeting meetings.

Speaker 2 Your Zoom white meeting. Yeah.

Speaker 2 When you do your Zoom white meeting, is there like a billion fucking little slots there? Well,

Speaker 2 there's not a billion of us. There's not a billion white people?

Speaker 2 I don't think so. I'm sure there is.

Speaker 2 It feels because your egos are so big.

Speaker 2 It seems like a billion. There's 375 million

Speaker 2 Americans. Yeah.

Speaker 2 How many of them are white?

Speaker 2 I would say the dominant majority. 45%.

Speaker 2 You think less than

Speaker 2 50?

Speaker 2 I think that minorities or ethnic people collectively make up more than whites. I think so.
Okay, so then we're 40%.

Speaker 2 So why are you guys complaining that you're the minority? Sounds like we're the minority, pal.

Speaker 2 Collectively, we have joined forces like the Avengers, like the Avengers. You should.
To take on the great white ghost.

Speaker 2 Maybe you're right. We're complaining too much.

Speaker 2 But the Dark and the Wicked is about.

Speaker 2 So it's in the country. It's so scary.
Yeah. Whenever I go to a farm, I'm scared.
As it is. I don't want to go anywhere near farms.
I know me either. Oh, they're great.

Speaker 2 Like I've done road gigs where I've driven by farms and I'll be with a comic and they go, let's go touch a cow. I go, fuck that.
Nope. Fuck that cow.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I go, moo, fuck you.

Speaker 2 And I just don't trust it. And so.
So crazy shit happens on children of the corn. Well, even real things like Ed Gein.
Ed Gein Farmhouse. Farmhouse.
Who else?

Speaker 2 What else was farmhouse crazy stuff? George. George George is born in a farmhouse.
Yeah, so that's all I need to know.

Speaker 2 So basically, it's in a farmhouse. And so

Speaker 2 this older couple,

Speaker 2 probably in their 70s, right? Perfect. The father is sick.

Speaker 2 So he's kind of in hospice in-house,

Speaker 2 dying. He's got tubes in the.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 There's a nurse there.

Speaker 2 Right. And then the mother

Speaker 2 is telling her two adult children not to come, but they come anyway. Don't come.
Daddy's ain't going to make. He's not going to come.
No, something else. Don't come.
I can't tell you what it is.

Speaker 2 Oh, don't give it away. I'm not going to.
Okay. But don't come.
Because

Speaker 2 shit's going down all around here. Well, then you're going to come.
That sounds fun. What's going on? No.
No, like levitating.

Speaker 2 Levitation. Okay.

Speaker 2 Shit moving around. So, but they come anyway, like white people do.
Because if my dad called, don't come. All right.

Speaker 2 Okay, bye. Bill BA.

Speaker 2 No. Right back to video games.
No. But you, right? I mean, if your parents said, don't come, would you come? Well, I'd no, yeah, that is white instinct.
I would go, why? Why don't you want me to come?

Speaker 2 Something happened. Yeah, Asian instinct is, we trust you.
Yeah. There's something going on.
You don't have to explain it. I'll go the other way.
But there's a good instinctual thing going on.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we go home. Yeah, yeah.
That's why I have to add another point of view that is when that's why I don't like now Asian horror movies. Why?

Speaker 2 Because the characters in the Asian horror movies don't seem as scared. Right.

Speaker 2 Someone's like, oh, and they're just like, oh, oh. No, but like, if they're zombies, right, we'll fight back.

Speaker 2 Zombie? Right. And they'll pick up a sword.
Height, hi, hi, hi, hi, right. Whereas white people would run.
Yeah. Right.
Yeah. So they don't seem as scared to me.
And who lives? The whites.

Speaker 2 The whites live. That's true.
And the Asians are like,

Speaker 2 and they get pissed beaten. So back to the dark and the wicked.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 The adult children come, right? And then.

Speaker 2 Well, it's not. You can't give anything away.
I'm not going to give it away, but can I describe a scene? Well, that's giving it away. I know, but it's not the plot of the point of the movie.

Speaker 2 I think it's in the trailer. All right, go ahead.
All right. So, um, spoiler alert.
Yeah, spoiler alert. It's late at night.

Speaker 2 Let me just say, just, if this happened to you, what would you do? Okay. Okay.
Your mom decides at midnight to chop vegetables.

Speaker 2 Oh, I'm leaving. No, I'm really righteous on that.
I'm leaving.

Speaker 2 Why are you up chopping vegetables at midnight? Right. What are you doing? And then what kind of kid are you to not go,

Speaker 2 what are you doing? Mom, what are you doing?

Speaker 2 You're making the pot roast now?

Speaker 2 Right. She was in silence, right? She was cutting.
So they go to bed, the adult children. Like, no big deal.
Yeah, cut. You know, she's going through something.
Okay. Right.

Speaker 2 And then she starts cutting faster.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and then it starts going fast. And she goes past the onion.
Right. Right.
She goes past the onions. Cuts off the dad's dick.
No, and starts chopping her own fingers.

Speaker 2 Right? But not just one part, just like it's like diced onions. Slice and dice.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 The kids wake up and they go to the kitchen and they see beautifully sliced onions.

Speaker 2 Beautifully sliced carrots. Right?

Speaker 2 With fingernails and shit. Finger, pieces of finger.
Finger pieces of finger and blood all over the place. Right.
And they're like, and then they go, oh my shit, what the fuck's going on? Right. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then they go, mom,

Speaker 2 right? They yell out into the farmlands. I don't know what they call it.
Farmland sounds right.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. They yell out in the farmlands.
Yeah. Mom!

Speaker 2 Mom!

Speaker 2 And they're just, you can see them running around, right?

Speaker 2 And in the distance, you know,

Speaker 2 the camera cuts back. Pans out.
Well, the camera's in a, I guess, a farmhouse, right? It's zoomed into them yelling, mom. And as it peels back, you can see the feet of the mom dangling from the farm.

Speaker 2 She hung herself. Because she cut her hand.
No, we don't know. That makes sense.

Speaker 2 How does that make sense? Because if you accidentally cut your finger and you're like, oh, God, I got to kill myself. Right.
It's embarrassing. It's the next step.
Yeah, the next step.

Speaker 2 So that's how the movie opens.

Speaker 2 Right? So then, you know, where does it go from there? It gets fucking so scary. Cool.
Lots of murder?

Speaker 2 Not murder, just suspicious things going on. Well, I like it.
Did you watch it? But no, she does, she won't watch it.

Speaker 2 But shit, but there's shit that goes on in these white people fucking horror movies. It's better.
They're very good because of your fright.

Speaker 2 Witnessing your fright,

Speaker 2 right, makes me experience what it's like to be you. To be white? Exactly.
But you'll never be white. Never.
No. I'll never be a coward.
That's we're not.

Speaker 2 And I'll never be weak. You are very weak.
I know I am. Yeah.
You could be white. I am white.
Why are you so scared to watch horror movies, Rude? I'm not. This is how she watches it.

Speaker 2 I don't want to watch it. This is how she watches it.

Speaker 2 No, no, no. This is how she watches it.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 She goes into like a pill bug, right? Yeah. Into a ball.
Right. Then she'll take 52,000 blankets and put it on top of her.
Right.

Speaker 2 Right? In a ball.

Speaker 2 And then one eye is watching the whole fucking thing. Why are you so scared? Because it's scary, but I still want to watch it.
But did you, when you watch them with Tito Bobby and

Speaker 2 Kalila? Talila's in a ring. Well, I was going to say Tito Kalila, but I know that I was going to say Tito Kalila.
My girlfriend's ain't Kalila. Auntie Kalila.

Speaker 2 When you watch it with them, do you never get through it? You have to quit early?

Speaker 2 Or can you finish the whole thing? I can finish. See, are you good at finishing in one sitting? Oh, yeah.
I can't. Not because I'm freaked out or anything.
Just every movie, every show, I got to stop.

Speaker 2 Well, it takes you out of the momentum, no? Nah, something I need a break. Like, you know how you need a cigarette once in a while? I need to just walk away for a little bit.

Speaker 2 You walk away and then then you come back the next day?

Speaker 2 A couple hours later, next day.

Speaker 2 I can't do it in one swing. Any movie? Any show, any movie.
Movie theater is the only thing that can keep me in there the whole time. Right.
If I'm watching a movie,

Speaker 2 have you ever left a movie?

Speaker 2 About a hundred times. Well, you just stood up.
Star Wars.

Speaker 2 Which one?

Speaker 2 The second one? The second or third. Which one was the one that came out and it came out here? We'll ask one of the resident dorks down below.

Speaker 2 The one that I almost walked out, I think it's the same one.

Speaker 2 2000. It's the one where Princess Leia flies in space.
Yeah, whatever that was.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Once she did that, and she did that, like, Mary Poppins, like, flying through the space. Get out of here.

Speaker 2 I stood up. I left.
And I was making a decision. I said,

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 That's ridiculous. So annoying.
That's not a force. No.
Right? I'm going to go. And then

Speaker 2 I was with people. Just leave.
I was like, you want to go? And they're like, nah. All right.
You stayed. I stayed.
You're a good friend.

Speaker 2 It just got worse and worse. And then there was a part in there where like.

Speaker 2 Which one was that? They went to the casino. When they went to the, you know what I mean? Where they had the fat, chubby Asian chick.
Yeah. Which she's a great actress, by the way.

Speaker 2 And she got roasted online. Yeah.
Right. Well, you didn't help just now.

Speaker 2 I know it. She's a very talented actress.
Sure.

Speaker 2 She looks like me. Yeah.
She looks like me, but with a vagina. Because she stole the role.
That could have been for you. No way.
When they say steal the role, do they refer to your body type as well?

Speaker 2 All right, go ahead. Okay, that's rude.
That's rude.

Speaker 2 And you're being mean. That's mean.
You're in the bad.

Speaker 2 I'm not. You are.
That's gross.

Speaker 2 Which Star Wars is it? It's the second one. It was called

Speaker 2 Return of the Jedi.

Speaker 2 Is it Return? No.

Speaker 2 Which one is it, Andres?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Last Jedi.
Last Jedi. The Last Jedi.
Yeah, and it was the last time I watched one. Well, you didn't see that follow-up? No.
I wanted to see the follow-up of it just to see what. Because J.G.

Speaker 2 Abrams

Speaker 2 was in the helm again. Right.
He did.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so he's like, I got to fix it.

Speaker 2 So I was just wondering, could he?

Speaker 2 Could he fix it? Right? But you know what threw me off in the third one? Is when I saw the trailer for the third one coming out? Yeah. And at the end of the trailer,

Speaker 2 do you remember what you heard? Someone laughing. No.

Speaker 2 The Emperor. Oh.

Speaker 2 Right?

Speaker 2 And I'm like,

Speaker 2 he's alive. He's alive.
Yeah. They just gave that away.
The Emperor's alive.

Speaker 2 The Emperor.

Speaker 2 The one that got thrown in that shaft. Electricity.
Ah! Remember? Was it electric? Is that what you're doing? Remember how he was like zapping Luke? Oh, yeah, yeah. He was zapping Luke, right?

Speaker 2 With his shit, right? Yeah. His wizard shit, right?

Speaker 2 Right? And he's like, no, no, whatever he was doing, Luke, right? And then fucking Anakin or Darth Vader stood up, not my son, right? He picks up, right?

Speaker 2 The Emperor throws him, and the Emperor's flying was still with the electricity, right? You're going, yeah, right, with the electricity, fucking Folly, right?

Speaker 2 This is how far he falls.

Speaker 2 Times 10. Times 10, right? Yeah.
And it probably hits the asphalt, implodes. Yeah.
Right? Explodes. Then,

Speaker 2 whatever, right? Whatever he does. Then you hear

Speaker 2 in the fucking trailer. He's alive.
He's alive. he's fucking alive

Speaker 2 so i but i saw it anyway yeah because i wanted to see if he could do it that last and he kind of did

Speaker 2 you know that reminds me of what do you remember do you remember the original batman batman one

Speaker 2 do you remember batman one well or no with the michael keaton um the greatest one yeah that wasn't the greatest one best one by far oh i love this best one by far you're so you're blasphemy best one by far Why?

Speaker 2 Because of Jack Nicholson? Jack and Michael together were two. Look, great movie.
Here's why. Great movie.
When I was a kid, and I was a huge fan of Batman, Batman's by far the only superhero I like.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Okay? Because I think Superman is whack.

Speaker 2 I don't like any of the other ones. I like Batman.
And when I saw his face in the mask, that looked like what Batman was to me. It just made perfect sense.
And his voice was it was perfect.

Speaker 2 And that scene. You knew who directed it? And that scene.
Who directed it? Edward James Almost. No, who knows who directed it? Who directed your favorite Batman movie? I know exactly who directed it.

Speaker 2 Who did it? The same guy that helped helped write it. He's the same guy that did Edward Scissor hands.
Yeah, what's his name?

Speaker 2 Sad. Edward James Almost.
No, no, that's not his name. What's his name? His name is

Speaker 2 Nightmare Before Christmas. Yeah, what's his name? You forgot his name, did you not? He did.

Speaker 2 You forgot the name? Tell me the name.

Speaker 2 He did.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, I know it's Tim Burton, but he did.

Speaker 2 Very good. No, I'm a huge fan.
Did you go see the exhibit when it was at Monday? Oh, yeah, I was at the exhibit. I went twice.
I put the stuff up. You did? Yeah, that was you.

Speaker 2 I'm the one that was putting the stuff up. They were yelling at you.
I know, they were yelling faster. Come on, you like a dumpling.

Speaker 2 Right. No, Burton, the reason I loved it so much, but that laugh that you did was remember when the Joker had fallen off the building

Speaker 2 and he died and he was smashed into the earth below. But in his pocket was the little laughing chatter.
Oh, that was a really good sand. And it was

Speaker 2 a really good sand. So I used to do that around my house.
My mom would fucking lose it. I'd be in another room going,

Speaker 2 and she'd go, stop it!

Speaker 2 Stop it! Yeah.

Speaker 2 If you were a. I watched that movie a thousand times.
If I was a Batman villain, which one would I be? Ooh.

Speaker 2 I already know who you are. Mr.
Freeze. No, forget it.
I don't know. You'd be the penguin.
You'd be the best. K.V.
Dunley. Fuck you.
I knew you were going to say that.

Speaker 2 I knew you were going to say that. Oswald Cobblepop.
Oswald Copy. You would be Two Face.
Yes. Yeah, you would be.

Speaker 2 You think, yeah, yeah. My coin? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Who would Rudy be?

Speaker 2 Poison Ivy. Oh, yes.
You would be Poison Ivy. Yeah, for sure.
Because you seem at a distance, just like Poison Ivy physically, the plant, it seems fine and harmless. Then what happens? You touch it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's paralytic.
You become... Yeah.
That's you're Poison Ivy, aren't you? Yeah, George would be...

Speaker 2 Bane.

Speaker 2 The opposite. The opposite of Bane.

Speaker 2 George would be.

Speaker 2 I don't know. There isn't one.

Speaker 2 Because I would say. Well, Andreas is the Joker.
No, Andreas is the Riddler to me.

Speaker 2 Okay, Riddler Joker. It's the next intonation.
They're two different characters. I know, but they came from one another.
They're not brothers.

Speaker 2 They influence one another. They all influenced each other.
No? Yes. How did the penguin get influenced by any of them? How did the riddler get influenced by the Joker? They have a similar demeanor.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but they weren't like, you know, like, Riddler didn't call Joker and go, hey, man, I'll just let you know. Yes, he did.
My style is based on your clothing.

Speaker 2 You don't think they sat down and had a drink and gave him props? No, there was not like... And it wasn't like, I got most of what I have from you.
It's not like J.J. Abrams and Spielberg.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? That type of movie. That's a good guy.

Speaker 2 All right. They're both Jewish.
I think that... So you're saying that the first Batman

Speaker 2 is better than The Dark Knight.

Speaker 2 The Dark Knight is a great movie, right? But you love The Dark Knight mostly because of the visuals, right? But in its time,

Speaker 2 Batman For its time, the original. Because without crazy special effects that we've got today and the visuals that we're able to do today,

Speaker 2 Forrest's Time was remarkable. Christopher Nolan isn't necessarily his whole thing, it is less, you know, I mean, visual effects, more real-time effects.
He still has it anyway.

Speaker 2 I understand that, but the thing is, is, you know, number one,

Speaker 2 The Dark Knight is a superior movie. It's not.
It really is. You just like it because it's way more realistic.
It's more current. What was not realistic about the original?

Speaker 2 If somebody falls into a vat

Speaker 2 of chemicals,

Speaker 2 they would die. Is this Roger Rabbit? What movie are you talking about now?

Speaker 2 How does the Joker become the Joker in

Speaker 2 your version of the Batman? First of all, first of all, how does he become the Joker? He doesn't fall into a vat. What does he fall into? Chemicals, right?

Speaker 2 Part of his body gets chemicalized.

Speaker 2 He falls into a gigantic thing of fucking chemicals. Yeah, but he doesn't.
You don't know if they're corrosive. We don't know if they're going to kill you.
It's going to kill you, that green shit.

Speaker 2 The Emperor is still alive.

Speaker 2 Hmm? No.

Speaker 2 He transcends. It's not real.
None of it's real, you fucking goof. You wanted to say gook, huh? Goof.
Gook. I said goof.
You wanted the... Put the K in.
Nope.

Speaker 2 But you want to. No.
Don't call me goof then. It's too close to gook.
Goof is fine. All right.
You fucking goof. You fucking.

Speaker 2 What if it's goof? Goofk.

Speaker 2 That's a good... You goof.

Speaker 2 That's good. That's really good.

Speaker 2 It's a better film. Batman 1.
It's my favorite. Look, I think The Dark Knight is one of the greatest movies I've ever seen.
Yeah, it's incredible.

Speaker 2 It's just, I love Batman 1 because it was everything to me as a kid. Because I could also say then that the second one.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, really good. The second one is so good, too.

Speaker 2 What? Oh, the second Batman. The Tim Burton one.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I thought that was really good. Yeah, and then after that, it got real past.
It was insane. It got real past.
Clooney was maybe the worst Batman choice of all time. Chris O'Donnell

Speaker 2 closed the Robin exactly. Because it was like, we're not doing that ever again.

Speaker 2 It's over. Game over.
Why would we do that? Yeah, yeah. Who else do you think? Who else? You know,

Speaker 2 I've worked with him before. I'm sure he's a great guy.
He's a really nice guy. It's his fault.

Speaker 2 It's a bad role. Yeah.
Who else could have been? But I wanted to say, huh?

Speaker 2 I wanted to say,

Speaker 2 because at one time he was sitting next to me, we're doing a scene. And I want to say, I just want to let you know.

Speaker 2 It made me laugh. I was going to do this, but I would have to tell Chris O'Donnell.
I want to go. I just want to let you know that I think that your Robin's the best Robin presentation.

Speaker 2 But I think it would have been funny if I would have said that. He would have liked it.
No, I don't think so. Why? I don't think so.

Speaker 2 You don't think he knows? You don't think he's enough self-confident? I don't know, but I just didn't know him enough to like, because he could have gone way bad, right? So I just kept that to myself.

Speaker 2 But it made me laugh. God, that's funny.
Keep it in your mind when you go, please do it, do it, Bobby, do it. I think I couldn't do it.
Yeah, there's no way. Now, would you do it now? No.
Why?

Speaker 2 Enough time has passed?

Speaker 2 Because it's like, it's the same reason why I can't bring up Bucky to Nick Swartzen. Why? Because it got such bad reviews on Ron Tomatoes, and I like the guy, so I just don't want to bring it up.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I think

Speaker 2 once things do poorly and we're past them, you have to be able to make fun of them, particularly if you're a comedian. Chris O'Donnell's not a comedian, I guess.

Speaker 2 But with Nick or any of our friends, you've done stuff that flops. Yeah, everything I've done.
But I mean, we have to make fun of it all. Yeah, and also, Chris O'Donnell is like,

Speaker 2 it's not his fault.

Speaker 2 That's what I said.

Speaker 2 It's so funny because, you know, I was defending Cyril Silverman, not defending what, basically, somebody was going to Sarah Silverman. Well, you did Blackface on a sketch she did years ago.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, right, right, right, right, right. And by the way, we all did Blackface on a sketch.
I did. I did.
Oh, you did? Oh, yeah. I did a thing where I was

Speaker 2 Jordan Peel's and Keegan's third brother or something. On Mad TV.
On Mad TV, and I had to wear a ball cap, and they painted my face black.

Speaker 2 But Blackface, if as an Asian guy, it's a little different it's not as right it's not it's not the same i could be tiger woods

Speaker 2 you know i mean i look like tiger woods yeah you do but the thing is um but so i was defending um you look like tiger woods if he was a bowler go hold

Speaker 2 that hurt come on the burn though what do you mean

Speaker 2 so um

Speaker 2 that's really good

Speaker 2 bowler um but i but sarah silverman did and i was like, well, where was this? People were attacking her online? Yeah, on Twitter. And I was just basically saying, it's not as if, like, you know,

Speaker 2 you, as an actor, you have a lot of control over things. You have almost no control.
Like, people tell you what to do. Right.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 There's forces that are more powerful than you, you know what I mean, that are like convincing you to do something that you don't really feel quite comfortable with. Right.

Speaker 2 But you do it anyway because it's like you're on a TV show and you're just going to do it. Well, also, also,

Speaker 2 the reason I imagine she did it, because at the time, I'm sure. It's satire.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm sure she was making fun of the thing.

Speaker 2 And it's also another thing is, you know,

Speaker 2 she has a pass when it comes to all the black comedians, right, know who she is and knows what her heart is, and they know that she's doing satire. Here's the problem.
Yeah. Here's the problem.
What?

Speaker 2 Black comedians aren't the ones that are upset about it. I know it is.
Period. Yeah.
So this is the issue. That's the issue.
Yeah. Right.
Like, like, any

Speaker 2 that's not the person that gets upset about it because if people don't understand the difference between the joke and the reality, right? I don't know what to tell you.

Speaker 2 Like, it's just, that's, that stuff's hard. Well, because look, look, um,

Speaker 2 Jimmy Kimmel, he did a blackface sketch. He was Shaq or somebody.
I don't remember what he was. And they tried to blow up his spot this past summer, you know? Yeah.
And it didn't work.

Speaker 2 It doesn't work, yeah. Because every per every black person he's associated with that was in that sketch with him was like, no, that was part of the joke.

Speaker 2 But some fucking liberal, annoying brat at their computer, social justice. The attacks were from the right wing, by the way.
Why?

Speaker 2 Oh, because she's so far left. Yeah, the attacks are from the right wing, like you did this.
But you're a hypocrite. That's why you need to be somewhere in the middle.

Speaker 2 But it's like, even when Miki Rooney and I said, remember before in the previous podcast, I said John Wayne played Genghis Khan. I don't really blame them because also the time period.
Right.

Speaker 2 Well, yeah, right. Right.
It's different. It's like when times change.
Even 10 years ago, we have a different outlook on race as we do now.

Speaker 2 It's constantly changing. We used used to be able to beat Asians in public.
Now it's a big nyon-young. You can't do that.
I used to hit every Korean kid I saw on the street. I know.

Speaker 2 Because you're a bully and you're a bad person. No, I'm not.
And I would never hit Koreans.

Speaker 2 Chinese aren't. But here's the thing about you, though, is,

Speaker 2 you know, when I first met you. I'm racially ambiguous.
I know you are. You can't put me in a category.
I know, but when I first met you, right, you know, there is a part of me that's like,

Speaker 2 oh, he's a bully. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Just in the first, my first impression of you is that he's just the East Coast, you know, Midwest, you know, bullyish. But then I realized that he's, you know, a

Speaker 2 softie. Soft.
I have a softy, right? Well, I'll beat the shit out of you if you make me mad, but otherwise I want to be your butt.

Speaker 2 I want to squeeze you. You have rage.
A ton of it. Yeah, I know.
But I'm working it out. I know you are.

Speaker 2 There's been suggestions from fans that we get you help on the show that I need to get help on the show. Like, what kind of help do I need? No, no, no.
We've already done that for you.

Speaker 2 Remember, we got the quit. We tried to get help.
We need help.

Speaker 2 We need help for you. We'll get a therapist in here.
George, you want to get me a therapist

Speaker 2 for the next time, and I'll do a therapy session? Okay. An anger management therapist.

Speaker 2 And maybe

Speaker 2 it'll calm me down a little bit. But I've been really good lately because I've been able to run again.
Yeah, I know, but I have. When I can't run, though.
I'm getting close to you.

Speaker 2 Do you know how I know this?

Speaker 2 I know your spots.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I know. No, no, no.
No, I did. And I'm not going to say the spots because I don't want to get you there.
Sure. But I know the spots.
Yeah. Right.
And I could say three or four things right now,

Speaker 2 right now in a row. Yeah, yeah.
Right. Uh-huh.
That's going to take you to a level of rage. Right.
Right. Right.
That's going to just destroy this whole building. Yeah.
Right. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to do it. Good boy.
You know why? Why? I'm a good guy. A good guy.
Right. But I have even new information, right?

Speaker 2 And facts. Oh.
And things I could shoot you with. Oh.
Right. But I wouldn't do it.
Right. But that's how

Speaker 2 I'm not going to do it. I love you.
But that's the kind of power I have. And let me tell you the power I have.

Speaker 2 Go ahead.

Speaker 2 This is all chess. It is chess, yeah.
Speaking of chess, by the way, Queens Gambit is the best show on television. That's what my girlfriend says.
The best show on television. I have to watch it then.

Speaker 2 Do you know it, Rude? Yeah. Have you seen it? Yeah.
Oh, so you watched it with Klyla? No, I've watched it by myself. How many episodes? Seven total.
Have you watched? Seven. You saw seven?

Speaker 2 I'm still on five. It's a limited series.
There's only seven episodes in total.

Speaker 2 I love chess. Do you play chess? I'm so bad.
Every time I play, I lose. Oh, I'd love love to.

Speaker 2 You'll beat me. No way.
Dude, honestly. You know how it works, though.
What do you mean? I know how to play chess. Oh, you do? How do it works? What happens? You know how it works, right?

Speaker 2 Do you know how to play chess? Not really. Yeah, yeah.
So people don't know how it works. Well,

Speaker 2 you have to know what pieces can move where. Is that just how they the relationships between the pieces? Correct.
Yes. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
No, I know how to play chess.

Speaker 2 I learned when I was in high school, but I was never good and I never kept going. When I moved to West Hollywood, there's Russians that play chess in Plumber Park.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 And I went down there one morning and I watched for two hours. You bring your mat or something?

Speaker 2 You bring your own mat and you're fucking up. No, I watched and I thought, I bet you, I bet you I could at least put up a little bit of a fight against one of these guys.
There's no way.

Speaker 2 I went, sat down, lasted maybe two minutes, maybe a minute and a half.

Speaker 2 And he beat me and he looked up at me and he was like,

Speaker 2 he didn't even talk.

Speaker 2 He gave me a head nod that meant, fuck off.

Speaker 2 And I did. I fucked off.
I knew better.

Speaker 2 There's a rapper named Sticky Fingers or something? Sticky Fingers. Agent.
Is that his name? Sticky Fingers.

Speaker 2 Do I have it right? Yeah. I being real? Yes.
I did a movie with him once. With Sticky Fingers.
Yeah, yeah. And he plays chess.
Yeah, so we were on set. He's like, yo, man, I got my chess board.

Speaker 2 And went, I'm not going to play you. I'll kill you.
I'm Asian.

Speaker 2 I just said that.

Speaker 2 And all his homies were like, ah, they're laughing, right? Yeah. Come through then.
Right?

Speaker 2 Come through. I go, when? Keep it 100, play chess.
Come through.

Speaker 2 I said, I'll come through.

Speaker 2 Where is it? Say through. I'll come through.

Speaker 2 Right?

Speaker 2 And that, so then, like, what trailer is it? Because of a bunch of actors or whatever. The one with the smoke coming out of it, it literally was.
You're just hot pops.

Speaker 2 It's just like smoke coming out of it because of the weed. Right.
Right.

Speaker 2 So, you know, I look at the trailer and I go,

Speaker 2 I made that noise.

Speaker 2 Like, here we go. Right? Poofed.
I literally walked in and I walked out. I lost.

Speaker 2 Just that's how fast. That's how fast it was.
I walked in like this and I walked in like this.

Speaker 2 And I fucking lost. Stickies really were the chess.
They were so fucking good. In fact, I thought to myself, I've probably played about eight black people in my lifetime in chess.

Speaker 2 Never beat any of them. They're so good at strategy.

Speaker 2 They really are. Well, people that love chess, that really love chess.
Black people are especially good at that. Well,

Speaker 2 because I bet you he had his own shit. It was his own board, his special pieces and stuff, custom-made, right? This isn't just like a fucking chess set.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 2 You're accusing him of fraud? What? You're not accusing him of fraud, are you? No, I'm saying it's custom. I'm saying

Speaker 2 he probably invests time and money into chess. Most people that play chess

Speaker 2 aren't casual. You either are fucking obsessed with chess or you go, yeah, I played, I'm not that good.
Because we bought a board. We bought a board for the pandemic and it's still in the wrapper.

Speaker 2 This is what I'm talking about. Most people, you're either fucking insane about it or you're like, I don't really play chess.
We'll get one in here and let's play. I'd love to play a game with it.

Speaker 2 But I want to learn how to play speed chess. Well, that's the same rules, but faster.
Yeah, but I mean, no, yes, it's the same rules I'm saying, but the skills are unbelievably different.

Speaker 2 I know they are. I want to do it, and you need to watch Queen's Gambit.
How good is it? The little red-headed girl. Is it me? Yeah.
It's me. I love Chinese.
Did you see Searching for Bobby Fisher?

Speaker 2 Of course. Great movie.
Do you know who that is? You don't know who Bobby Fisher is? No, do they have that in the fucking Philippines? You know who Magnumus? Magnus is? Magnus? Yeah. Like Magma?

Speaker 2 Magnus. Magnus.
Magnus for Magnusson, the strongest man in the world at what point? I don't know. Magnus is

Speaker 2 this, I think he's from.

Speaker 2 It sounds like Sweden or Swiss. Yeah, yeah,

Speaker 2 Sweden or, yeah.

Speaker 2 And he's, I think he's the number one chess player in the world, but he's young. He's a cool, blonde-headed kid.
Oh, and there was a documentary. I watched it.
You did? Oh, really good.

Speaker 2 And he's getting, the other kid came and took over. I watched that.

Speaker 2 It's a documentary. It's about the next, it's about the next

Speaker 2 in because there was one kid that was like. Well,

Speaker 2 the document's called Magnus. How did you not know what I was talking about? I don't think it's called Magnus.

Speaker 2 I think it's called something else. I got to get my phone out.

Speaker 2 But whatever. No, let me just do it, okay? Magnus Carlson.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, dude. There's another documentary about.
Yeah, but Magnus. Documentary.
Oh, dude, I'm thinking of the Rubik's Cube thing. I watched that.

Speaker 2 There's two different fucking things, you fucking idiots. Same thing.

Speaker 2 What? You saw.

Speaker 2 Fucking return.

Speaker 2 Hey, hey, hey. I didn't see it.
Hey. Yeah.
Magnus Carlson. His documentary is called Magnus.
Magnus is. So you would have known this.
I'm thinking of

Speaker 2 Rubik's Cube. Watch this documentary, and they're two different fucking things.
Same kind of guy. Yeah.
Same kind of brain. I saw a football movie.
It was called Hoosiers. It was fucking amazing.

Speaker 2 Same kind of brain. Fuck up.
Same brain.

Speaker 2 Fuck.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and keep it in. Don't even edit it out.
That's what you are.

Speaker 2 That's what you are. A r.

Speaker 2 Cut that.

Speaker 2 Cut that out. Or bleep it.

Speaker 2 Do you look like a fool? You know, it's like so funny. It's like when people do foolish things like that and they say that, they go into a thing like what you're doing.
You're frozen. I know.

Speaker 2 You're frozen right now because of shame. No, no, no.
I'm listening to you. I'm listening to your bullshit.
No, you're going like this. No, I'm listening to your bullshit.
Oh, shit.

Speaker 2 How do I get out of this one? No, it's not getting out of it.

Speaker 2 I'm faster than you. I'm funnier than you.
I'm stronger than you. I'm taller than you.
I'm better than you in literally every physical way and mental. How do I get out of this one? You're a

Speaker 2 little tiny.

Speaker 2 How do I

Speaker 2 shame you? Booger rat

Speaker 2 moron and that's where you're and you're a stupid

Speaker 2 stupid names no you're an actor name calling you call me an artard yeah but we're gonna cut that out so it doesn't even matter no no no no we're leaving an artard you said it to me you called it to me three times

Speaker 2 just apologize for making a mistake no you made a mistake

Speaker 2 I'm not apologizing for fucking thinking something was something else. I said, no, it's a Rubik's Cube movie.

Speaker 2 And Rubik's Cubes are two different things. It's the point of the film.
It's not the fucking, the fucking item. It's that I, oh, yeah, there was a kid who was the champion.
He got taken over.

Speaker 2 And I'm thinking, oh, it's a crazy colour. But it wasn't even called.
How would you, Madness? It's not even called your family. I don't even know the title of the fucking movie.
What the fuck, man?

Speaker 2 You made a mistake. You look like a fool, and that's all.
No, it's only because you ran into it with your car. No.
It could have gone, oh, yeah, it was a Rubik's Cuba.

Speaker 2 I was sad to watch you just now. Just freeze and go through that fucking thing.

Speaker 2 Go ahead, go be named Colin.

Speaker 2 I'm fat.

Speaker 2 I'm weak. Yup.
Yup. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't be able to survive in a forest. Fact.
Yeah. Fact.
Unless there was a fucking bakery then there are

Speaker 2 an elf in a tree who made

Speaker 2 a fat piece of skin. Am I not alive? I hope your fucking feet are.
There we go. Now that's the best.
You diabetic fucking turk.

Speaker 2 While you're listening. Ladies and gentlemen, bad friends, friends.
Fans. When your teeth fall out when Andrews, just listen.
And your little rat mustache.

Speaker 2 So when And

Speaker 2 makes a mistake, right? This is how we what do you resolve? It's only when you go at it with me. And so I want to let you guys know that we do need a therapist because he has massive issues.

Speaker 2 Look at him. He's trying to laugh it off, but I see it in his eyes.
When Bobby goes after me, after I said, oh, yeah, no, yeah, I said that the wrong, then I have to attack you back.

Speaker 2 No, you put me up against the wall. Yeah.
What do you want me to do?

Speaker 2 See?

Speaker 2 See? Yeah. You see what you did? What? See what you did? You ruined my vibe.

Speaker 2 You fucked up my vibe. I love it.
And you've never listened to the scorpions once. That's true.
Yeah, you fucking poser. You fake fuck.
Cut that out. No, you Hollywood.
You cut the part. No, no.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you cut that off. Yeah.
No, fuck you. Cutting that part off.
Fuck you. We're cutting that part out.
Fuck you. We're cutting that part out.
No, George, you're fired.

Speaker 2 George, you're fired if you fucking keep that out.

Speaker 2 Then fuck you, George. Get fired, you fucking cunning.
Go hire someone else. Just cut it out.
Andres, you touch that fucking scorpion.

Speaker 2 If you don't cut out the scorpion, if you don't cut the scorpion,

Speaker 2 what are you going to fucking do? What are you so angry about? Just fuck it all.

Speaker 2 I love it. I love that.
I love it. Just, just, just, wait,

Speaker 2 just for a second. Here's why.
We have too many.

Speaker 2 Just admit that you were wrong. We had too many moves.
I did. I did.
I literally.

Speaker 2 You literally said you look like a fool. That's it.
See, then you add, look like a fool. Get that back then.
You add, look like a fiddle. But just let's move on.
No, I move on. Let's move on.

Speaker 2 I said, oh, yeah, it was a Rubrik's cue move.

Speaker 2 No, don't do that. All right.
Don't go low. Breathe.
Can you breathe? You started it. I didn't start it.
Andres, get on the fucking mic and say who started it. You are listening right now.

Speaker 2 Shut the fuck up. See, you're going to be aggressive.
Andres, who started it?

Speaker 2 Say it. See, there we go.
Don't be afraid. Say it.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 Stop. Everything stops.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. What stops us? She said Tito Bobby because she knows.
Tito, stop stop.

Speaker 2 Say it to the mic. She did.

Speaker 2 Tito Bobby. I love you.
I started it? Yeah. Yeah.
Wow.

Speaker 2 When he was wrong, you immediately

Speaker 2 humiliated him. You could have just.
Yeah, but was he not wrong? Yeah, but it wasn't a big thing. No, no, no, no.
Just a minute. Let her let her finish! Let her finish! Go ahead.

Speaker 2 It wasn't a big thing. Right.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 he mistake like a

Speaker 2 chess thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Thank you. Thank you, Andreas.
I have some defense here. No, he's not defending you.

Speaker 2 What were you saying, Andreas?

Speaker 2 He mistake a chess board with a little cube. Right.

Speaker 2 Is that a big buffer?

Speaker 2 It's a medium size. Medium size.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And my response was medium size. No, it wasn't.
Yeah. How big was the response, Jules? You said the R.
You said the R word over and over. We'll cut it out.
No, we're not.

Speaker 2 We're leaving it in because we need to teach you a lesson. All right.
So I'm going to let you know. All right.
Don't point it or put your finger down. Put your little fat finger down.
All right.

Speaker 2 You just betrayed me. That finger down, you know.
You betrayed me just. I know that.
All right.

Speaker 2 And you know what? I'm glad I'm leaving tomorrow.

Speaker 2 And you're lucky that I'm leaving tomorrow.

Speaker 2 Jules, I love you. You're a good friend.

Speaker 2 You tell people how excited you are to go to Hawaii. I'm going to Hawaii tomorrow.
You know

Speaker 2 how much love I have for you in my heart? That when I was in the shower, you know what I was singing? My focus isn't on you anymore. My focus is on you.
Let it go. No, I'm not.
Grow up.

Speaker 2 This fucking Shakespearean fucking bullshit right here. First of all, she's an aggressive genius who has dangerous qualities.
Do you really want to get on her fucking bad side?

Speaker 2 That's why I'm not getting physical. Okay, well, I would watch your tone with her getting physical.
Because she'll fucking kill you. Sorry.
Good boy.

Speaker 2 This morning in the shower, I thought of you and I got excited for you. Well, I got to breathe through this thing.
And

Speaker 2 I was singing Israel Kamakaway Olai's somewhere over the rainbow. You know, brother is the big fat Hawaiian guy.

Speaker 2 I was singing that song in the shower.

Speaker 2 Jules, were you singing for us? Oh no.

Speaker 2 Chess is not like Rubik's Cure.

Speaker 2 They're two different things.

Speaker 2 Oh, so you don't make mistakes? Is that what we're getting back to? I'm sick of the song. Is that not how the lyrics go? Lower your voice.
Is that how the lyrics go?

Speaker 2 Is that how the lyrics go?

Speaker 2 Lower your voice.

Speaker 2 I buy shirts of band-aids. You're cutting this out.
No.

Speaker 2 Because now you get to. That's not fair.
You get to make fun of me for a mistake. I can make fun of you.
I understand that, but they're not. No, it all stays.
It all stays because we've gone too far.

Speaker 2 And by the way, if you think it's going to get cut, I'm going to reference it four more times in the podcast. And then we're going to have to cut out four words.
No, they won't. No, they won't.

Speaker 2 No, they won't. We have to cut out the R word and we have to cut out the scorpion stuff.
No, no, because they're one and the same. They're one and the same.
We're going to beep the R word. Dude.

Speaker 2 It's going to go, ood. But everyone already knows what you said.

Speaker 2 And we've talked about it too much. Stop bringing it up if you don't want, if you want to cut out, stop saying it.
So move forward. Don't bring up this, though.
And we're cutting that out. No.

Speaker 2 Keep the road.

Speaker 2 Why do you care so much about the scorpions? Because it's a band that you don't know. I understand that.
And you don't want to be a white girl from LA? Right. You are.
I know. Accept your reality.

Speaker 2 Accept your reality.

Speaker 2 Andrew.

Speaker 2 What island are you staying on in Hawaii? No, no. Stop for a second.
Oh, let's go back to the thing you want to cut out. No,

Speaker 2 we're not going to cut it out now. Okay, good.
All right. We're not going to cut it out now because I want to make a point now.
Okay. Okay, I want to make a point now.
Okay.

Speaker 2 For the record, we are going to bleep the R. That's fine.
Or cut it out. Keep the scorpions in.
We cannot say it. But I know, I know, but I want to make a point now.
And I'm not.

Speaker 2 I'm there, but I'm not. I'm at the line.
Okay. Okay.

Speaker 2 Is there's certain things, right,

Speaker 2 that and I don't know why it is, right? But there are certain things that I'm paranoid about or I'm sensitive about. Like what?

Speaker 2 This.

Speaker 2 Why?

Speaker 2 Because I should know. Because I make fun of people that wear shirts.
So perhaps you need to think about not making fun of people. I don't know how I got this.
It was just in my... I really don't.

Speaker 2 So then just say that. No, but just listen to what I'm saying.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Even when I was putting it on today. You thought about it.
I thought about it. I don't think I should wear it because I don't really know much about the band, right? So I don't know how I got this.

Speaker 2 But see, this moment of vulnerability is better than the opposite. I'm just stopping for.
Just let me just say something. I can finish this.
Okay.

Speaker 2 And there are certain things, and I'm not going to say it, right? The things that you are sensitive about as well. Sure.
It feels the same. That? Yes.
I don't know why. Wearing a shirt.

Speaker 2 I don't know why, but it does. So my physical insecurities, right? It does.
It feels that way. Do you think that feels the same as a shirt you put on?

Speaker 2 Yeah, because I have no physical insecurities at all. So I don't know.
I can't relate to you on that level. That's not the same thing at all.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because I'm very paranoid about it and sensitive about it. Yeah, but that's a thing you've made up.
It's not even a real thing. That's not even.
That's not your physical.

Speaker 2 No, that's real. I feel that I see it.
I know it. It's real.
But it's not, it's, no one else feels that way. You feel that about yourself.

Speaker 2 Right, but the projection you have because of a shirt you put on is completely different.

Speaker 2 It's only because you make fun of people that do that exact same thing. Right.
Well, so don't make fun of those people.

Speaker 2 But you also make fun of people with, you know what I mean, physical things as well. Like what? Who do I make fun of?

Speaker 2 You'll just make, you'll make fun of a woman's body, their ship, like an eggplant or whatever, it might be. What?

Speaker 2 You're making that up.

Speaker 2 I've seen you say that. Where? That lady looks like an eggplant.
Where?

Speaker 2 When we're hanging out?

Speaker 2 It's something that you would say. No, no, see, you're making shit up.
I don't make fun of people's bodies unless, of course, they're in a wheelchair. Then I pick on them.
For sure.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 What island are you going to? I don't know, man. Are you going to Maui? I don't know.
I guess, man. Shut up.
No.

Speaker 2 Kauai.

Speaker 2 Oahu. I'm excited for it.
I'm so fucking jealous. Yeah, I think I need a break.
You need a break? Yeah, from you this all. You've been on a break.

Speaker 2 Not really.

Speaker 2 No touring.

Speaker 2 Barely TV.

Speaker 2 Podcast. That's all you've been doing.
You're not writing any new shit. You're not doing any jokes.
You're not having any stages. You're not traveling.
You're not on planes. This has been a break.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I kind of like working.

Speaker 2 Me too. I miss it.

Speaker 2 And I'm just kind of excited to work. That's all.
You need a break from podcast LA life. That's what I meant.
A break from you.

Speaker 2 From this. And Kalila.
No, that's...

Speaker 2 No. Oh.
Maybe her.

Speaker 2 Her? Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 2 They're not going with you? Kalila and her are. No, they were, but they're not now.
Why?

Speaker 2 It's just, because it's just

Speaker 2 too much to

Speaker 2 worry about in terms of like the animals and

Speaker 2 traveling, yeah, and all that stuff. It's just too much to worry about.
Are you going to miss? Are you going to miss Kalila? I'm going to miss Khalil. Are you going to miss Rudy?

Speaker 2 I'm going to miss the dogs. Is Rudy one of the dogs?

Speaker 2 Do you classify her as one of the dogs? No. In your house?

Speaker 2 I used to classify her as a daughter. You felt like she's a daughter to you.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 See, to me, it feels like my little sister. Do I feel like an older brother to you? Yeah.
I feel like family.

Speaker 2 That feels like my sister. You used to feel like her father.
Now, what do you feel like to her?

Speaker 2 Father still. Oh.
But a a father betrayed.

Speaker 2 Maybe a stepdad.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You kind of seem like a stepdad to her.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 She's not mad. She doesn't really like stepdad sometimes.
She doesn't. But what's why doesn't stepdad just know she's in a growing period?

Speaker 2 I'm fine. She's growing up.
I feel great. You know, one day she's going to leave.
I feel good. I'm excited about Hawaii.
You're sad? I'm excited about it. And I'm sad to leave you.
I'm sad to leave.

Speaker 2 I'm sad to leave everyone here in L.A. and it's not true.
I do. I'm so excited to go to Hawaii.
I'm so excited, but I'm very excited as well. And I'm so grateful for my life.
I really am.

Speaker 2 I love everything. I look around my life.

Speaker 2 I walk outside my, I wake up and I walk outside my house. I look, see little Jewel sleeping in her room and the dogs, you know what I mean, running around.

Speaker 2 And I look at my, at my beautiful girlfriend. You're about to say wife.
Soon to be wife.

Speaker 2 Are you really going to get married? I'm going to marry her, yeah. When? Soon.
Well, the fans want to know.

Speaker 2 I just don't know how to to do it the engagement yeah would you have a ring i'll get one well that's probably the first step you have to get etsy or something get it not on etsy ebay etsy ebay etsy's cheaper is it

Speaker 2 i don't know i'll go to ebay what do you think you would do for a proposal

Speaker 2 probably put in a cupcake but then she won't eat the whole thing right she's not yeah she doesn't so then i'll and then i'll do you got to eat more of it you know you know what you should do what have one of the dogs eat it and then and be like oh my god he's we have to take him to the vet and and they go to the vet and then they cut the dog open right and then the ring inside yeah and the dog is hemorrhaging hemorrhaging and and and while it's bleeding out i look out and they find the ring i go will you marry me perfect oh wow that's a good one perfect yeah you just got to hope the dog doesn't die yeah but if it does you're already at the vet or stick the ring inside the ain't my anal canal canal canal canal canal right and i'll say finger me right will she and then she fingers me with this i go no with this finger Use your ring finger.

Speaker 2 With a ring finger, right? And she, and right, and then boom. And then as she pulls it out.
Yeah, it's on.

Speaker 2 Will you marry me? That's perfect. Pretty good.
What else is another one? Oh, Rudy, are any of these good, do you think, are a good way for a girl to get proposed to?

Speaker 2 I like the dog going. The one where.

Speaker 2 Of course you do. So creepy.
I know. Because everything that I do, right, you don't like it.
No, no, she likes, she likes, she likes how sadistic it is.

Speaker 2 Yours is dirty, and this one was death. She likes death.
Oh, she wants sadistic and death. Yeah, like Rudy's the the kind of person that.
All right, well, then I stick the ring.

Speaker 2 Right. Here's how Rudy's going to get proposed to.
In 10 years, by the way. No time soon.
No, more. You're still...
What are you? How old are you now? 19? Yeah. 19, it's going to be 12 years.

Speaker 2 We want you until you get married.

Speaker 2 Right? 12 years? No. Just to be 30.
She's never going to get married. She's never going to have any kind of boyfriend as long as she lives in my house.
Do you ever want to get married?

Speaker 2 You said you didn't want to have kids. We know that's off the docket because you hate children.
I don't know about marriage, also. Yeah, it's a scared.
Well, she's flirting with guys on her.

Speaker 2 No, yeah, she is. No, I don't want to hear it.
On what? On Instagram?

Speaker 2 Some direct message on Instagram. What? You're going to betray me? I can't betray you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait a minute, wait a minute.
She's flirting with two guys. What are their names again?

Speaker 2 Well, we don't need to know their names. What's going on?

Speaker 2 Wait a minute. Look at her.
Look at her face. Look at her face now.
Look at her face. And she's texting them back and forth.
Love, love, Texas. Is this really going on, Rude? Kinda.
Oh, boy.

Speaker 2 You might get your phone privileges revoked. Yeah.
You keep that up. But they have to get through me.
I'm not going to let her out of the house. Have you met up with any boys?

Speaker 2 No, because of COVID, right? Because of COVID. Yeah.
Well, that's kind of good then that she can't even see any of these idiots. And also, even if she does, I'm going with her.
Right.

Speaker 2 Oh, really? You think...

Speaker 2 Let's say the pandemic's over. Yeah.
And the way you're treating me today, right? You think you're going to... No.

Speaker 2 I'm going to go. That's fine with it.
Yeah, but I'm not. We're two different people.
I'm going to go with you. What movies do you guys want to watch tonight?

Speaker 2 Oh, you want to watch that romantic thing with with Ryan Gosling? The dance man number? You know what I mean? Dancing in Atlanta. Is that a movie? I don't know.
Dancing in Atlanta.

Speaker 2 Whatever it's something that he would do, right? I'll go. You guys want to go to Fudruckers? Is that a hamburger? Is that still open? Delicious.
There's one in Burbank. I love it.
There is? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I thought they all closed down. There's a spaghetti factory, too, at West Covina.
Spaghetti Factory. Spaghetti Factory.
But I'm going to go with you. Yeah, you are.
How are you going to leave?

Speaker 2 What if I don't tell you?

Speaker 2 Oh, wow. Oh, so it's Friday night.

Speaker 2 You're putting makeup on your face and putting glitter on your, whatever fucking young girls do. Glitter, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Patching the glitter on her face.
You know what I mean? Glitter patch.

Speaker 2 I look like a fucking, you know, um

Speaker 2 fairy.

Speaker 2 Whatever.

Speaker 2 I'm a fairy. That's what they do.
Right, what they do, right? They put the lips. Ooh, my lips.
You know what I mean? They need to be shiny and gold balls. I'm a fairy with puckered lips.

Speaker 2 Puckered lips, right? She puts on her jam jams on, whatever they fucking call them. Jam jams.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. She puts on her fucking uggs oh oogos yeah oogs right

Speaker 2 right and get your toes done and then and then i'm like and then she's like i'm bye

Speaker 2 i go and i'll go you know when you say bye you know what i'll say bye to kalila because we're both leaving oh right so i'll drive you can drive whatever but i'm fucking going

Speaker 2 okay okay

Speaker 2 that's how it goes kid You don't have a choice. You don't have a choice.
Well, also, you know, it also has clearance over where you guys are going. Because she's 18.
What, you're 18?

Speaker 2 You're 19 in American years, but that's like 15 in Filipino.

Speaker 2 No, no, she's 19 in Filipino years, but that's like 15 in American years. Right.
I don't know if she likes that, but it makes perfect sense to me. But

Speaker 2 you're going to be controlled for sure. Bobby's going to have to go with you.
In fact, how about this?

Speaker 2 Bob can go on the date with you guys.

Speaker 2 George has to come film it. Do you want to come? Can I come? You should come.
Let's go on a date for all four of us. Me?

Speaker 2 It's a double date. Let's do triple.
Let's bring Clyde, your wife. Okay.
Do you want to do that? Yeah. Then all three of us go on a date.
All three of us. What's wrong with that?

Speaker 2 But that way, that way, we're not going to go to like fucking some shitty hamburger spot. You can come, but you can sit.
No, no, no. Whoa, you don't tell us where to sit.

Speaker 2 This way we can go, hey, you want to go to Morton's? Steakhouse. Yeah, I mean, or you want to go to Palm's, like somewhere nice.
Boa, let's go to Boa Steakhouse. You want to go to Boa and get a steak?

Speaker 2 Right. So then, okay.
We bring up, you pick up your mechanic friend, Freddy. Whatever his name is.
What's the mechanic's name?

Speaker 2 You don't have to say it. No, say his name.
We'll bleep it out.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, we'll bleep it. We'll bleep it.
We'll bleep it. Freddy.
No, that's not his name. Freddy.
No, it's not. I told you.
It's Freddy. Freddy.
Okay. So we pick up Freddy.

Speaker 2 We're leaving that in. We're leaving it in.
Okay. No.

Speaker 2 No, we're leaving it in. And we pick up Freddy at the fucking gas station.
Right. Right.
And then, get in, kid. Yeah.
And he's like wiping his hand with grease. Right.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Throws the fucking rag down. Hey.
Hey. Bye, dad.
Takes off his onesie. His dad always works there, too, right? Yeah.
His dad's like,

Speaker 2 right. Well, he says bye, and his dad's like, fuck you.

Speaker 2 I love you, dad.

Speaker 2 He gets in the car, right? And then we go to a nice restaurant.

Speaker 2 And then

Speaker 2 we can grill the fuck out of him. Yeah, we can find out all we need to do.
All kinds of stuff. Yeah.
So what do you Google in Pornhub? He's like,

Speaker 2 I don't watch pornography, sir. Then that's good.
Liar, though. He's a liar.
Give us your phone. Yeah.
Oh, that's true. I want to go through his phone.
I want to see how many other girls he's texting.

Speaker 2 I want to see what his Safari search history is. Right.
Yeah. I also want to see, I also want a little deep dive in to see if there's any protected folders on his phone.

Speaker 2 You know what I would also do is I would bring up my medical gear and go to the bathroom and go, let me see it. Whip out your penis now.
And just see if there's any bumps or any.

Speaker 2 Wait, wait.

Speaker 2 Right? I would do it all, right? Right. Did Dick?

Speaker 2 I might even do this. Just for a for just for a laugh, I would do this.

Speaker 2 Just for a giggle. We're going on a trip.

Speaker 2 We're going. And we're going to meet.
Freddy. Are you into it? No.
Good. Yeah, I know.
But that's going to happen because you're not. going to go into some guy's car.
Uh-uh.

Speaker 2 And the next thing you know, it's three in the morning. You're right.
We can't get a hold of you. Young Filipino girl goes missing in L.A.
Yeah. And then it's like, it's like, and

Speaker 2 like the next day is working at the mechanic store. No, he's gone.
They took off.

Speaker 2 We'll go back to the gas station. He quit.
And his dad, and his dad.

Speaker 2 Freddy? Yeah. Oh, no.
He left years ago. Oh,

Speaker 2 shit. It's a ghost.
It's a ghost. It's a ghost.
Right. We're like, well, where can we find him? He's like, I think he went to one of them farms.
Faye, way up in Vesalia. That's right.

Speaker 2 Because when I was checking his sack,

Speaker 2 my hands went through the sack. It was like a paranormal fucking.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So then we go up to the farm in Vesalia. We go to the farm.

Speaker 2 We'll go to the farm in Vesalia. Yeah.
And where is he?

Speaker 2 In the kitchen, his back turned to us. Yeah.
And we all walk in, and Freddy. And you ask his name, say, Freddy.
Who am I playing? You, you're Bobby. Yes.
I'm me. Freddy.
Freddy. Freddy.
Freddy.

Speaker 2 Call his name. Freddy.

Speaker 2 I mean, act like you're in the scene with us.

Speaker 2 Freddy.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 what if it was something scary where it's like,

Speaker 2 we can't ever find her, right? Yeah. She's missing.
She goes missing. Right.
And then they find her like in a tomb

Speaker 2 in Egypt. Rudy? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Wow. Like, she's in a cat tomb.
Well, you know how the Pharaohs,

Speaker 2 found, yeah, they find, you know what I mean, Juliana, right? With the ears, right? In a cat tomb like this, and they say she's been dead for 3,000 years or whatever. Whoa.
4,000 years.

Speaker 2 That wouldn't surprise me.

Speaker 2 And then what is she now to us?

Speaker 2 Oh. Right.
We don't know. See, she's a prophet from another dimension.
That'd be scary.

Speaker 2 If our show, if Bad Friends was a murder mystery movie, who gets killed first? Well, the premise of the thing would be Jules is dead. Jules is dead.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because if we did a real movie, first of all, I don't think she would want to act in it. She's a good actor.
I know, but she doesn't want to. Like, whenever we go, like, I go, like,

Speaker 2 sing for me. Or, look at her face.
She doesn't like singing. Do you know how many comments we got about us making a band that we had a couple of, you know, the make when we, when we sang?

Speaker 2 You know how many people said that you were a great singer and they loved it? Yeah. No, I didn't see.
So many people. Yeah.
And if we did a band, right, you would be the lead singer.

Speaker 2 You didn't know that?

Speaker 2 No. Yeah.
Yeah, you would. You would.
Sing something for us. Please.
Please. My throat hurts.

Speaker 2 No, no, it doesn't. Drink some of that hand.
Drink some hand on it. No.
It'll clear it right out.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I think.

Speaker 2 So if we did a show about a murder, she would have to be dead. So then she could play the dead girl, right? Right.
Right. She could just, you know,

Speaker 2 whatever.

Speaker 2 Yeah. A dead girl.
A dead girl. Do you think Andres,

Speaker 2 if we were a murder mystery, George is the neighbor, the creepy neighbor.

Speaker 2 Andreas is,

Speaker 2 he's got to be someone that works on the farm for us.

Speaker 2 Andreas is also the mystery guy. Andreas is the guy in the movie

Speaker 2 where the whole audience suspects he does it. Yeah.
Right. But he's not the guy.
And he's also the guy that gives us valid information at the end of the movie. Right.
It's like in Aaron Brockovich.

Speaker 2 You remember,

Speaker 2 I love this movie. I love

Speaker 2 Brockovich. I've seen a thousand times.
Yeah. Where that one character was like really creepy, would like show up, hang out, like kind of see

Speaker 2 not like, and then he had all the information, right? Right, that character. Yeah, that's that's Andreas.
That's Andreas. Except with a little Latin flair.
Right.

Speaker 2 Andreas, do you prefer to be called Latinx?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Because, well, is I'm asking you, I'm being serious. Is Latino offensive?

Speaker 2 I don't think so. I mean, everybody's very concerned now about that stuff, but I'm also not Latino.
I think Latino means Latin American. Yeah, that's where you are to us.
Okay, then yes.

Speaker 2 Then I'm Latino. Thank you.
Yeah, would you think you're European? You're not. You're not.
You're not. You're south of the border, bud.
Yeah. You're Taco Bell to us.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're below the equator for sure.

Speaker 2 Right?

Speaker 2 Yeah. You know that, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I wonder how many people really take offense to any of that stuff. Hey, Andreas.
Yeah. Be honest with me.
Me.

Speaker 2 Not you,

Speaker 2 but do Spanish. Just be honest with me.

Speaker 2 Do Spanish people just have a general feeling that they're better than Mexicans? Of course.

Speaker 2 Think about it first. Jesus Christ Christ.
Are you Spanish ex? It's like British to Americans, you know?

Speaker 2 Oh, fuck you.

Speaker 2 Throw them out of here. We won that war.
We won, dude. Fucking eggs.
We won our independence and we got our own country. Okay.
So it's big.

Speaker 2 Why do you hate Mexicans so much? Not you, but just your people. No, no, no, him.
He does. I know.
Why do you not like them?

Speaker 2 uh

Speaker 2 dude it's so funny because you and i you and i get in the hot seat every week we say something stupid yeah now it's time for him to make a well just make a listen people like to people love this podcast because we express our point of view and it's as stupid as it may be dumb yeah right that's what's great about this podcast i just see dumb things and i don't even know what i'm saying but i just do it because this is who i am well it's just for fun it's a dress authentic be authentically you They mess up the language a lot, you know?

Speaker 2 Oh, they mess up sponges. Oh, and that's annoying to you, isn't it? That's annoying.
Yeah. What about their fashion? Yeah, they're

Speaker 2 not as fashionable.

Speaker 2 Well, you don't like it? It's okay. Yeah.
So let me tell you something, Andres. You knew who, but just before we get into that is Hispanic people, especially in like, because the only

Speaker 2 Mexico that I've seen, I've never been to Mexico City. Resort Mexico, you've been to.
Some, but I've also mainly been to Juarez and Tijuana. Right across the border.

Speaker 2 And I love, I have every Mexican dude that I've seen, like older Mexican dude walking around Tijuana, I've wanted to buy their jeans. They have great jeans.
What they're wearing.

Speaker 2 Because they're so weathered. Right.
And

Speaker 2 from working. Yeah, but they're being, you know what I mean? I buy shit like that because I'm being ironic, Eli Hip, you know, about it, right?

Speaker 2 But I want to buy their, you know what I mean, jeans because it's, but they don't have no idea that they look cool. Well, they look right.
You like it because it looks like they're putting out.

Speaker 2 I was like, something so gross just now. It was, but it's okay.
I'm being honest. You're being honest, and it's fine.
I get it. Andres, yeah.
In your apartment that you're in right now,

Speaker 2 let's say a Mexican couple moves in next door. You got beef already with them or no? Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2 Wow. I'm telling them to put the music down.

Speaker 2 Andres, if he comes over

Speaker 2 and he introduces himself,

Speaker 2 are you going to be polite and nice, or are you going to automatically give him a little bit of shit? Yeah, totally. Polite and nice.

Speaker 2 He's here. He's here.
Mister, my name is Javier. Mister, my name is Javier.
I'm your new neighbor. I don't speak English.

Speaker 2 Oh, excuse me, you are speaking English right now. Oh, sorry.
I don't speak Spanish. Oh,

Speaker 2 why the attitude, sir?

Speaker 2 Um,

Speaker 2 look,

Speaker 2 I'm tired of you know, your food, your

Speaker 2 music, your loud.

Speaker 2 This is so racist.

Speaker 2 Andres has shown his true colors. Oh, my God.
He hates Mexicans. He hates them.
Wow. I didn't know there was that much beef.
Yeah, there is some beef there. Look, I'm tired of your music, he says.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Your food? Your food? Their food's the best.
The best. You don't like Mexican food? Three times a week I eat it.
Andres, do you not like Mexican food? For real? No, I love it. Oh, you do?

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay. I also love the music.

Speaker 2 I know you do. All right.
The good, good good character. I like the bit.
Good bit.

Speaker 2 Andreas, good bit. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Now,

Speaker 2 is your wife racist at all? Absolutely. She's from the south.
She's from the south. No, she's from the south.
So there's a difference between like the north and the south of Spain?

Speaker 2 No, she's from the south of the U.S. Dude, she's from here.

Speaker 2 His wife is one of us. Wait, wait.

Speaker 2 Wait, look,

Speaker 2 your wife. You put in reverse if you're going to go back.
Dude, do, do.

Speaker 2 That's how I do it. No, you eat means you stopped eat and then

Speaker 2 i do use the wrong yeah yeah i use the wrong side but let me just do my sound effect all right do yours wait a second

Speaker 2 right

Speaker 2 so your your wife is mexican no no she's white she's from america is she white yes he doesn't like to say it oh he doesn't because in case his family hears it they're disappointed

Speaker 2 she's white she's white i see his family doesn't like it that his wife is white are you being real yeah it bothers them

Speaker 2 Who do they want him to see? Someone like him. But he's white, kind of.

Speaker 2 He's close. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Do they know her name at least? No, they don't. No.
They don't. He hasn't revealed her name.

Speaker 2 I came for them. Wait, wait, they don't even know you're dating anybody? No.

Speaker 2 Well, you're married to her, right? What did you tell your family her name was? Maria. You know it's.
Maria. And you're married to her, right? Yes.
And

Speaker 2 they didn't go to the wedding? No, they didn't.

Speaker 2 How do you do that? Well, we just ran to the...

Speaker 2 They went to the courthouse. And so when are you going to tell your parents?

Speaker 2 Oof, in a couple of years, maybe when there's, you know. When they're close to dying.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. So Maria, your wife, has never met your parents.
Right.

Speaker 2 And your parents, they don't miss you?

Speaker 2 Not really.

Speaker 2 Wait, wait. So you're how many kids...

Speaker 2 This is very interesting to me. Can I just ask you some questions? Absolutely.

Speaker 2 So you grew up with a mom and a dad, correct? yeah they don't have mom and dads in spain

Speaker 2 yeah it's more like an uncle and an aunt no so your parents what did your parents do for a living

Speaker 2 shoemakers

Speaker 2 don't they all make shoes yes

Speaker 2 yeah yeah they just uh work at the university oh so they're they're head yeah they're smart

Speaker 2 so then um how many siblings do you have one

Speaker 2 Right, so, you know, when you have parents, when you have kids, you raise them, right? You don't, and it's just odd to me that they wouldn't want to even have any kind of contact with you.

Speaker 2 Right. So, did something happen? Yeah.
What happened? I married an American white girl. But they don't know about it, so how could that be a conflict yet? Well, I think my brother told them.

Speaker 2 And so they're mad. Yeah.

Speaker 2 They said, don't come back, you know. Don't come back.
They said, don't come back? Right.

Speaker 2 Oh, shit. That's heavy shit.
That's fucking heavy and bullshit.

Speaker 2 What part of the country is your wife from? The South. You know, the bad part.
No, no, no. What state? South Carolina.

Speaker 2 Oh.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no, no. Married in a red.

Speaker 2 I mean, that's what it was.

Speaker 2 No, you know, it's so funny. Do you think if you married a Yankee, it would have been fine? If you married a girl from the Red Canyon? Maybe.
I don't know. Your cousin, what?

Speaker 2 My cousin married a Vietnamese girl. She's a kind girl.
And my uncle and aunt didn't go to the wedding. Really? Yeah, because she was Vietnamese.
Shut up. I swear to God.
What do they say?

Speaker 2 How do they justify that? They go,

Speaker 2 we won't support it?

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's funny. It's, you know, I've had, my brother and I have had a wear on our parents over the years.
Sure. Whereas if we didn't do that, my parents would have voted for Trump, I think.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? If I hadn't done that, I think my parents would be like, you know, if they saw a gay person, they'd run across the street. Really? Oh, yeah, yeah.
I think that.

Speaker 2 I think, yeah, I think it's American kids.

Speaker 2 If you're an ethnic kid, you know, with immigrant parents and and they have a certain ideology, I think it's our job to fucking

Speaker 2 change it and cut away at all those things. Right.
Now, you know, before my dad died, they were all, they loved all people.

Speaker 2 They loved all

Speaker 2 genders. That's because you influence them.
And we influence them. It's like, I won't have it

Speaker 2 any other way. It's like, who are you going to vote for? McCain.
No, Barack. So you just told them and they would.
Yeah, and they would do it. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 So it's like, you know, it's our jobs to do that, I think. Well, it's your job to teach them to not hate.
That's it. Yeah, yeah.
And it's like, so I just,

Speaker 2 I don't know, I just think it's so fucking fucked up, man. They wouldn't go to the wet.
I told you what happened. I told you

Speaker 2 I was in a bar in Philadelphia and I ordered bullet bourbon.

Speaker 2 And I like drinking it. I just wanted to have a little bit.
And the girl says, we don't serve that here, okay? Real attitude like. Bullet bourbon? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I was like, oh, okay, I'll just take something else. And she goes, yeah, what else? I said, maybe knob.
Do you have knob or something? Yeah. Leaves, comes back.
She like slams it down.

Speaker 2 And she goes, you know, they're homophobes.

Speaker 2 The whole family is homophobic. And this is a gay bar.
You're in a gay neighborhood. I said, okay, I don't care.
I don't give a shit. I just wanted to have.
How would you know that anyway?

Speaker 2 Well, there was guys sucking dick at the front door. No, how would you know that

Speaker 2 the liquor that you're, you know what I mean? I know. That was what I said.
How the fuck would you know that? How could I know? So I pick up my phone. I get on there.

Speaker 2 One of those situations where I'm like, oh, this is why. The parent, you know, old white dude, old white Kentucky, you know, that old family of bourbon.

Speaker 2 The daughter's gay, and she's the only one that's not

Speaker 2 in the company, doesn't get any of the money from the company.

Speaker 2 And the father refused to support her marriage to her

Speaker 2 girlfriend. So then that's why it had got, I didn't know, I never heard that fucking story before, but I was like, that's a bummer.
I also, you know, still going to drink Bullet Bourbon.

Speaker 2 It's really good. Yeah, Can I tell you something? I didn't.
How could I know? I did an IBM commercial once. Yeah, and they're racist.
No, but I booked a commercial, and I'm not going to say who.

Speaker 2 We still know who she is. The casting director? No, but she's a comic.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to say what it is. What time? The comic that's in the commercial community? No, somebody, people found out in the comedy community that I booked an IBM campaign.
Sure.

Speaker 2 And some girl came up to me and said, I can't believe you're doing that.

Speaker 2 And I go, what do you, you mean making money? Yeah. And she's like, no, you know, IBM helped with counting, you know, the Nazis.

Speaker 2 They used some of their technology to count the numbers of the, you know, I mean, the Jews and stuff like that. Really? Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's a real story. Yeah.
They had something to do with it. Like the algorithms of algorithms or something, right? And I go, oh, well, I'm still going to get paid.

Speaker 2 I'm going to have to get wedding. Oh, I don't know what you want me to.
You know what I mean? Like, I'm going to get paid. I'm not going to do it.
You know what I mean? That was a long time ago.

Speaker 2 But I call bullshit anyone that says that stuff because you know that it's crazy. Well, how about this? Yeah.
I work for Disney now. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Walt Disney was like a known anti-semite. Like out loud.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like out loud.
Yeah. So what are you saying? All the people that work for Disney now, should they all just quit their jobs?

Speaker 2 Well, you know, yeah, it is, it is a 30,000 people.

Speaker 2 It's bullshit. Like I was watching Apocalypto.
Yeah. And I like that movie.
But I know that Milk Gibson is a little cuckoo, right? A little bit. A little bit, right?

Speaker 2 And I know how he feels about certain things. So there is that question is like, should I be watching this? He still gets jobs.
That's true. That new Santa Claus movie looks good.

Speaker 2 It looks really good. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to watch it, but

Speaker 2 I might, I might. I just don't, I don't think you can control any of that stuff.

Speaker 2 I said that to Neil Brennan and I were talking one time about how like people were, remember when people deleted Uber off their phone because the CEO was, was it Uber or Lyft? Uber. It was Uber.

Speaker 2 The CEO was, what was it, against gay marriage?

Speaker 2 It was something like that. Like they were again, whatever.
And people were all right, self-righteous. Like, oh, fuck Uber.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to, because he donated to like a Republican campaign, some bullshit.

Speaker 2 But I was like, how, look at the irony that you're tweeting about deleting Uber from your phone made by Chinese slave kids. Yeah.
Like, how fucking justified are you?

Speaker 2 These things are made by slave kids, dude. Yeah.
So shut the fuck up. I mean, I know.
Like, you think you're so self-righteous?

Speaker 2 It's so hard. Everything you make is made by someone who's probably getting underpaid and overused.

Speaker 2 Your shirt, your jeans, your car, everything we do, this is all made by some, a kid. It's hard.
I mean, it's, you know, it's a bummer, but it's made by kids over there.

Speaker 2 Over there, yeah. Do you have any friends that worked in a clothing factory?

Speaker 2 No. Do you know about them? They don't have those in the Philippines.
It's not? It's just Thailand?

Speaker 2 No, it's just Thailand. I feel like I've seen Philippines on stuff.
Yep. There are.
There are, but I don't feel like...

Speaker 2 I never heard of like you know. You didn't have a family friend who worked in a factory?

Speaker 2 Some of them, yeah. Like what do they make? China is a thing.
Yeah, China's too obvious. I mean, they always outsource to like, like, like Philippines.
We outsource to China.

Speaker 2 China outsources to the Philippines? Yeah.

Speaker 2 To save even more money. Oh.
It costs way less to make it there. Yeah.
China costs less for us. This costs less for them.
And I don't even know what's below them.

Speaker 2 But I think that the Philippines is a hub of shady shit. Like in terms of like, because I heard of,

Speaker 2 just hear me out. North Korea, right? One of their great imports.
Greatest country of crystal methamphetamine.

Speaker 2 north korea yeah is that one of the biggest importers of crystal methamphetamine a lot a big a big importer and this this is what i heard wait a minute just let me tell you what i've heard okay and then you can you know make question i'll pick it apart pick it apart

Speaker 2 so that i heard that korea had has a lot of crystal methamphetamine factories and they don't feed this is what i've heard they don't feed their employees or the people that work there they feed them with pay them with crystal meth so they work harder yeah smart So then they ship the crystal meth,

Speaker 2 mass amounts of it, to the Philippines at like their harbor, and that's where they, you know what I mean, they, you know, they section it off. This is going to go to America.
Right, right.

Speaker 2 What do you know about that?

Speaker 2 Have you heard of anything like that? No, but I think that might be kind of true because the Philippines, there's a big war on drugs. So.

Speaker 2 Isn't drugs in the Philippines really illegal? Yeah, really illegal. You could die, right?

Speaker 2 They can kill you. Yeah, you can.
They beat you to death if you have. They shoot you in the streets.
Oh, they shoot you? Yeah, the government can do anything. So can they,

Speaker 2 when I see they've beaten someone to death for committing a crime, who gets beat to death? What do you have to do to get beat to death?

Speaker 2 If

Speaker 2 you're suspected on having drugs or selling drugs. They can beat you to death.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's crazy. Holy shit.
Marijuana? Yeah. Yeah, weeds.
Marijuana. It's illegal there.
It's illegal.

Speaker 2 How do you do people smoke weed there? Yeah. Do they have to hide like in the back or in the jungle? Hide in the jungle.
Smoke weed in the jungle. Shoot in the jungle.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Which makes sense, I guess. It's hot.
It's hot. And humid.
And the cops aren't going to go in there. They're not.
They'll beat you to death for smoking weed. Yeah, or just shoot you.

Speaker 2 Or they just shoot you. Yeah.
Do the cops, they just shoot people sometimes and people just are like, okay. Yeah.
That's why the people are very scared. Well, no shit.

Speaker 2 Well, it's like in thailand i you know the rules in thailand well did i ever tell you about thailand what what like if you're watching a movie in thailand yeah they show a 20-minute movie about the king oh yeah beforehand and you have to stand yeah and you have to watch that before they get to see the movie but no you have to stand and salute it right that's in thailand yeah that sounds like north korea no

Speaker 2 and then when you're walking down the street at like 6 p.m they have all these speakers in thailand and a music starts playing propaganda right and you have have to freeze.

Speaker 2 Right. Until the music's done, and then you can move on.
Did they want you to like? Right, but this is what I did. Because I was there with a bunch of actors and stuff from Australia.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So we would be walking in the park and people would freeze. And I would do this

Speaker 2 for like 12 minutes. Right.
And then when the music stopped, I would see how long I could stay in this position. For like 45 minutes, I would do it to make people laugh.
Wait,

Speaker 2 what's coming out of the speaker? Like some music and some propaganda about the candy. Yeah.
And also, there were statues of the king, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I would do stuff like to piss, like, I would just piss off the production. Like, we would see it, and I would spit on the

Speaker 2 gum and

Speaker 2 just spit it at the king. You could get real bad.

Speaker 2 Can they hurt you for it? Yeah, they can behead you for it. What? Yeah, yeah.
Wait, didn't the Thai king just come out after like 20 years in hiding? Wasn't that a news story that just came out?

Speaker 2 Did you read that? I don't know that much about history. I'll just tell you the rules.
No, no, no. I'm saying he likes to.
I'm not going to tell you the rules, man. He never makes appearances.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And apparently, he just made an appearance. Thank you for being a bad friend.