No Thanks Giving!

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Speaker 1 You two are bad friends.

Speaker 3 Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 4 White dude and Asian dude.

Speaker 3 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 3 We're bad friends. Happy Thanksgiving.
I hate it.

Speaker 3 I view Thanksgiving isn't my thing. I hate Thanksgiving.
Don't wubble, wub, wub with me.

Speaker 3 Don't wubble, wubble me. Don't wubble me, man.

Speaker 3 I thought you came off a set or something. Do I look good today? You look cute today, dude.
Look clean. Your face looks good.
Do you have a lot of acne growing up?

Speaker 3 So annoying.

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 3 What do you mean?

Speaker 3 I've had these scars for years. Yeah, I just noticed them just now, so that's a good thing.

Speaker 3 I just noticed them right now.

Speaker 3 I like it. It's cool.

Speaker 3 It's your seal. Well, it's even worse because right near it, I busted my face open.
Right. When I was a kid.

Speaker 3 Happy Thanksgiving.

Speaker 3 I I know but can I just ask you about it real quick sure did you have a lot of acne just here growing up it was all concentrated to one part of my face okay that's all I wanted to ask yeah it's weird this was a boy it was a big boil are you being real no

Speaker 3 no are you angry I feel like you're angry right now it's just an annoying way to start the show happy Thanksgiving let's go to that

Speaker 3 happy thanksgiving because the vibe is innovative

Speaker 3 okay wow

Speaker 3 get me in a good mood you know what I mean dude when you came in here, bro, right, I was like,

Speaker 3 Happy Thanksgiving for

Speaker 3 good friends. Thank you.

Speaker 3 We're done. When you came in here,

Speaker 3 right? I go, did you just step off set? Because that's how good you look. Why are you saying that? Are you being condescending? No, I swear to did I not say that when you walked in?

Speaker 3 Well, first of all, you said there's good news to share. And then you said, did you just come off shooting? And I said, no.
Right. So then I'm taking it.

Speaker 3 You know what it is? I'm doing a skin regimen at night. Is it really?

Speaker 3 It's great, dude. Whatever you're doing,

Speaker 3 keep doing it. Thank you.
All right. Well, happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving to you, man. Dude, happy Thanksgiving more to you than to me.
All right. Dude, I'm Korean, bro.

Speaker 3 We didn't celebrate the shit, so I don't know much about it, bro. Do you want to know? Do you want to learn? Well, I know, I know, dude, I know some things.
What do you know?

Speaker 3 Can I give you a gift? What? I brought another gift. I feel like I'm Santa on this show.
Santa Maria? The boats, right? Santa Maria. Santa Maria? The boats has something to do with Plymouth Rock.

Speaker 3 This is a gift for you. Oh, shit.
What is this? In case, here, I'm going to throw it at you. Heads up.

Speaker 3 that's in case you get cold uh-huh

Speaker 3 it's a blanket yeah i don't want it do you know about that it's no it's been washed i don't care it's clean that's how the indians die

Speaker 3 that's how the indiator no it's not yeah it is do you like oh she loves it look at she i got one i got one you don't it's a trick i got one there's smallpox all over smallpox all over you idiot and you look like pocahannis so i don't know much about it so i know that it has to do with pilgrims and it has to do with indians yeah and they um tricked them they tricked them they said hey let's have a dinner and the Indians were like

Speaker 3 wonderful let's eat let's not make fun of them no no no I'm doing that's I know but if people are getting sensitive okay they go let's do do a different accent for Indians yeah yeah for the Native Americans do the Punjab Indian for that

Speaker 3 do those Indians settlers came over yeah and they were like

Speaker 3 we'd like to trade with you and we'd like to dine with you on this glorious day and the Native Americans are like, that sounds like a good idea. Why don't we sit down and have a meal?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And the and the Western European men were like, have these blankets to keep warm because it gets cold at night.

Speaker 3 And inside they speckled smallpox. I get it.
Smallpox was COVID back then. Right.
Same thing. It was like skin aids.
Skades. Yeah, it was.

Speaker 3 And the Native Americans were, the Native Americans were taken advantage of and their land was stolen. And that's why we eat pumpkin pie.
Right. It kind of all makes sense.

Speaker 3 When you grew up in a family that doesn't know that history. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And then November comes around, there's just a bunch of fucking confusion going on. It's panic? It's like, because they don't know how to do it.
So my dad will go get chicken.

Speaker 3 Right. But they kind of looks like a chicken.
I know, still. He would get chicken.
They would take white Wonder bread and just crumple it up. That's the stuffing.
That's close. Right.

Speaker 3 And then he would use some sort of like Korean like sauce, like kimchi sauce. I love kimchi sauce.
Pour it over. Goju chang.
Yeah, goju chang, right? That's so good. So good, right?

Speaker 3 And he put that on chicken and white bread. Yeah.
That's pretty good. He goes, Happy Thanking.

Speaker 3 Happy Thanking. Right.
And then we would eat it. And then that's, and then the beatings would start.
Right after you ate. And we would get drunk.
And then the beatings would start.

Speaker 3 But if you ate turkey. And we would run around.
Aye, yeah, yeah, yeah, aye, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 And he would, he had to blow a bow and arrow. It was so scary.

Speaker 3 Yeah. It was scary.
You know what? But if you add turkey,

Speaker 3 it has tryptophan in it, which would you tire. So then he could hit you to sleep.
Then if he hit you, you're already out.

Speaker 3 Do you have Thanksgiving in the Philippines? She doesn't know anything about it.

Speaker 3 What do you know about it that you've learned from school? We've given such an inaccurate description for the fans. That's not really what happened.

Speaker 3 What really happened on Thanksgiving was a joyous occasion. A joyous occasion.
And nobody was taken advantage of. Nobody was hurt.

Speaker 3 It was, you know what I mean? It was just a homies kicking it.

Speaker 3 Jules, what do you know about Thanksgiving? What do you know about it, really?

Speaker 5 I just know that there's always turkey, there's always pumpkin pie.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yep.

Speaker 5 And people just eat until they get fat.

Speaker 3 That's pretty much it. Yeah, that's right of the note.
Yeah, yeah. That's Thanksgiving.
Now, what do you know?

Speaker 3 We're joking around about it, but what do you know about the history of how it was found, how it started? Do you know?

Speaker 3 Not really.

Speaker 3 Well, you have to imagine she grew up.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Asians don't say bless you? No, we don't.

Speaker 3 Do Asian people not say bless you? No, no, no. Wait, why? Because, especially when it's a COVID cough.
That was a sneeze. Whenever it is.

Speaker 3 Asians don't say bless you. When we're scared, we don't.
Oh, you're scared? Yeah, yeah. All right.
We don't when we're scared. What do you have you ever said bless you?

Speaker 3 It's not something that comes to mind, no. Why not? Somebody sneezes, what do you think? I just move on with my life.
But like, because when Asians sneeze, we always we wore the masks.

Speaker 3 Bro, do it in the Indian accent.

Speaker 3 There we go. Doesn't seem as racist.
Wait a minute. When you have a mask on,

Speaker 3 we've always liked people's Asians sneeze all the time.

Speaker 3 You sneeze as well. Cute sneezes, though.

Speaker 3 And then we giggle. Yes.

Speaker 3 Right?

Speaker 3 And then we do a peace side. But do you ever say bless you when somebody sneezes?

Speaker 5 In the Philippines, we never do it. And then when I came here, it's really weird.

Speaker 3 That's what I'm saying. We never did it growing up as well.

Speaker 3 Do you know why we do that? Do you know what the etymology of that is? No, I don't know what the etymology of it is, no.

Speaker 3 Because you stop, your heart stops for a second. Like you stop breathing.

Speaker 3 Physically, your heart just stops for a second.

Speaker 3 And so people, religious, decided that...

Speaker 3 You say bless God bless you. God bless you.
Uh-huh. To make sure you're okay.
I assume many. I've never seen anyone die.
A guy did die.

Speaker 3 Probably one guy in the history of the world have died. Sneezed himself to death.
But also, a guy from the history of the world probably died from hopscotching.

Speaker 3 Well, a few men have died from scotching. And no one says bless you when they hopscotch.

Speaker 3 Well, because that's your own risk.

Speaker 3 My point is that

Speaker 3 if it happened like a thousand times a year, that I guess the bless you would like, you know. It's a courtesy.
Okay. Bless you.
Thanks. That's all you wanted? Kinda.
Yeah, does it feel good? And no.

Speaker 3 You look so handsome today. Thank you.

Speaker 3 I'll tell you what happened. I'll tell you what it really was.

Speaker 3 I received really good news, and we'd like to announce it on this show. Well,

Speaker 3 I received the same news, and I didn't see the news. I received the good news.

Speaker 3 I didn't take it as good.

Speaker 3 I didn't take it as good. Why didn't you take it as good?

Speaker 3 Horrifying at first. The idea of that being a reality.
The idea, yeah, yeah, of that. But then

Speaker 3 it's like The Borg.

Speaker 3 What's The Borg you don't what the Borg is the movie the Borg? No, there's no Borg

Speaker 3 You mean the tennis player is that what you're thinking of Bjorn Borg

Speaker 3 isn't isn't he even a movie about him the Borg is a race of aliens

Speaker 3 What where is this at in the Star Trek universe? Oh, I don't I know you don't I don't do it

Speaker 3 Yeah, exactly now Star Trek Star Trek is

Speaker 3 Star Trek is

Speaker 3 Zulu Spock and Zulu no I don't know Zulu who Zulu is Zulu is... wasn't Zulu.
Zulu. Oh, Sulu.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's an S? Yeah.

Speaker 3 What guy was Sulu?

Speaker 3 The Japan. The Nip.

Speaker 3 The Asian guy was Sulu. Yes.
Is Sulu a Japanese name? Well, I guess in the future. In space.
In space, it is. I just assume they wouldn't make it.
Yeah. Name the way.

Speaker 3 In the original Star Trek characters, can you name them for me? Spock. Bingo.
Sulu. Uh-huh.

Speaker 3 Mike? There's no Mike.

Speaker 3 There's no Mike. There's no Mike.
It's just not Mike? No, no, no. Spock, Sulu.
What's the doctor's name? Scotty.

Speaker 3 Very good. And what did he do on the ship? He beamed everybody up.
Engineer. Same thing.
Exactly. And then

Speaker 3 there was a woman

Speaker 3 named

Speaker 3 Carla? No.

Speaker 3 Give me a hint. Ahura.
Aurora? Yeah, Aurura. Is that her name? Aurora? Ahura? Ahura.
These dorks would know. They would know.
So anyway, Borg from Star Trek. James McCoy.
James McCoy. Bones.
Bones?

Speaker 3 Yeah. That's a great name.
That's great. So anyway, but after this.
What? And Kirk.

Speaker 3 Yeah, James Kirk.

Speaker 3 Captain Kirk. Captain James T.
Kirk. James T.
Kirk? Yeah. What's the T for?

Speaker 3 What is it? James. What is it? Thomas Corkirk, maybe.
Anyway,

Speaker 3 after the Star Trek,

Speaker 3 right? The first group.

Speaker 3 There was another show that came along called Star Trek The Next Generation. I've seen that one.
Okay, so Names.

Speaker 3 There's a black guy out there. Give me the characters.
There's one black guy out. Give me the characters.
Well,

Speaker 3 the black guy's name is Jamal.

Speaker 3 Close. What is it? Jordy.
Jordy. Yeah.
His name is Jamal. Jordy's short for Jamal.
No, it's not. Yes, it is.
Jordy LaForge. Yes, Jamal Laforge.
He was an engineer. He was an engineer.
Right.

Speaker 3 What else? And there's a black woman, and there's an Asian guy. There was no black woman.
Yeah, there was a black woman. Well, yeah, there was.
Whoopi Goldberg played.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but she wasn't like, she was like a reoccurring on the show. So what? That works.
Fine. What's her name?

Speaker 3 Gainen. Huh? Her name was Gainen.
Gainen? Yeah. That's a terrible name.
I know it is.

Speaker 3 I've never really paid attention to these nerd shows. They're not nerd shows.
What are you fucking saying shit like that for? How is that not a nerd show?

Speaker 3 It's just a TV show that happens to be in space. About nerd shit.
It's not about nerd shit. It's about what science is nerdy? Kept in.
Kept in.

Speaker 3 We must progress. Unless the Borg will then take us over.
Anyway, there was a group.

Speaker 3 Dork shit. All right, there was a group.
Anyway.

Speaker 3 There was an alien race in it called the Borg. And were they evil? They were bad.
Okay.

Speaker 3 And what they do is they would assimilate cultures. Oh.
Right, so they would see a culture and they would just destroy them, capture them, and then make them the way they look, you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 And act the way they do. And they become a part of a collective.
They don't have their own identity, right? They have one thought. They're all connected.
But they steal people's identity.

Speaker 3 They take people's

Speaker 3 individuality. Individuality? Individuality.
What'd I say? Individuality.

Speaker 3 No, that's what I said. Let me say it again.
Yeah. Individuality.
Perfect. Exactly.

Speaker 3 They would steal their individuality.

Speaker 3 And what would happen is they would just assimilate and they would all just be one thing. So when...

Speaker 3 The good news happened, right, I felt like there was some assimilation going on and that we would have more of these things on planet Earth. But then I thought he did mix it with gook blood.

Speaker 3 So, you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 Maybe something other, something magical would happen. So, but here's the deal.
Yeah. Let the fans know, George's wife is pregnant.

Speaker 3 She's Korean. And she's Korean.

Speaker 3 And George, you guys know what he looks like.

Speaker 3 So he acts like. That plus Korean

Speaker 3 equals. Equals what? A Borg? No.
I don't know, no. I just felt like if George, let's suppose he had a wife.
He does. I know, but a wife that was like white and from the country.

Speaker 3 A good old-fashioned white.

Speaker 3 Yeah, a white wife, you know. And her name is Darla.
Darla, and she.

Speaker 3 I just love you, George.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just want a bank for you and clean the house.
And then

Speaker 3 they had a baby together, then they would create more Georges. Yeah.
But I think he threw in

Speaker 3 a wrench in the process and it might turn out a little different, like a skater kid or something. Well, here's the deal.
George said. George is having a baby.

Speaker 3 George is having a baby, and we're kind of happy for him. Are we happy, Rude? Yeah.
But he waited three months to tell us.

Speaker 3 Well, yeah, you're supposed to. Why?

Speaker 3 Because I think that there's a high level of

Speaker 3 baby deaths before then. But it's not that.
That's not why. Yeah, it is.
But that's not what he did. Well, you're supposed to wait 10 weeks to tell people because a lot of times there's miscarriages.

Speaker 3 Right, George? Isn't that why? Yep. But that's not what he did.
Why do you think he did it? Because he wanted to do the fucking Downs test.

Speaker 3 Oh.

Speaker 3 To make sure it didn't happen. Yeah.
And so the reason why he waited, why?

Speaker 3 he didn't tell us before the Downs test is if it did have some sort of Down syndrome

Speaker 3 abnormality. Sure.
That he was gonna.

Speaker 3 He was gonna

Speaker 3 circumcise it. No.
I get it. No.
You know, I was circumcised.

Speaker 3 How about this? This is better.

Speaker 3 What is that?

Speaker 3 He's gonna take it out to eat? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 3 You know?

Speaker 3 I don't know.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Vacuum? He's going to vacuum?

Speaker 3 I don't know. Yeah.
But anyway, we're happy that George is having a kid.

Speaker 3 George said we. It's a boy, by the way.
Oh, it is? Yes. We get to name it.
Isn't that the fact? That's, in fact, the truth. So all the fans, I want you guys to

Speaker 3 comment, and the most common name George will be forced to name the kid. And think about this.
Think about how detrimental it would be if George doesn't name the kid what we want. Yeah.

Speaker 3 He gets fired from this show. He gets fired from Belly.

Speaker 3 He actually loses his company. Yeah.
Because Bryce, his partner,

Speaker 3 which is sketchy, skeptical.

Speaker 3 It could be Bryce's baby. It could be.
Oh,

Speaker 3 the control.

Speaker 3 Scandal. Oh, it could be.
Could it, George? No.

Speaker 3 I don't know. He's tall.
Do you have names picked out, George?

Speaker 3 Let me guess. There's a dispute.
Let me guess. You're okay, just looking at you.
Malachi's one.

Speaker 3 That's my cousin's name.

Speaker 3 Anyone from Children of the Corn. Jebediah.
Right. Right.
Nathaniel. Nathaniel.
Any of those?

Speaker 3 He's hard right now.

Speaker 3 Thumbs coming out of his dick.

Speaker 3 George looks like a farm kid, and his kid is going to look like a little half-Korean farm boy.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but see, here's the thing. When you mix in Asian, though.
When white and Asian mix, what do they look like? Anything can happen. I've seen disasters happen.
Steve Byrne is Irish and. And

Speaker 3 that could happen. He's a handsome dude.
It could turn out to be very handsome. Yeah, he's handsome.
Yeah. Who's the other side of the spectrum? I don't want to name any names.
Here it comes.

Speaker 3 Just for fun.

Speaker 3 I honestly don't know them because I refuse to meet them. Right.
When I see them, I'll see them at the show. Like, I'll do a comedy show.
Sure. And I'll see a mixed kid, right? Yeah.

Speaker 3 And the mix went the other way, right?

Speaker 3 And I might go

Speaker 3 from afar, like, you know what I mean? But I won't shake the hand. Who is it?

Speaker 3 I don't know anybody personally.

Speaker 3 Yeah. But I think you do.

Speaker 3 Do I know a half-Asian kid?

Speaker 3 No, there's that kid.

Speaker 3 What's that? Stand-up comedy. His name is Tatara.
Tataki.

Speaker 3 KT Tatara. That's him.
KT Tataki.

Speaker 3 He's handsome. He He is.
Yeah. Yeah, he is.
But here's what it can go wrong. Elliot Rodgers.

Speaker 3 You know who Elliot Rogers is?

Speaker 3 You know who that is? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 They come out weird. Yeah, like one eye is high.

Speaker 3 Not only that, it's just the mixtures of the bad races, maybe. Like, maybe Elliot Rodgers had, like, the fucking kamikaze

Speaker 3 Asian blood. Right.
And then also the Jeffrey Dahmer Asian blood. I'm white blood.
White blood, yeah. You mix them together, and then he'll shoot up people in Santa Barbara.
Right. Or Ojai.
Ohio.

Speaker 3 Anywhere up there. Yeah, yeah.
Anywhere mountain towny. But usually they turn out to be very handsome.
They can. George, we'll see.
Honestly,

Speaker 3 it's a 50-50 with George because you never know. He's got some qualities that I go, oh, he's not bad.
And then he's got other qualities where I go, very bad. Very bad.

Speaker 3 Absolutely very bad. Very bad.
Will you babysit, Jules? Will you babysit?

Speaker 5 I'm not good with kids.

Speaker 3 Right.

Speaker 3 Like, why would I even, of course, I know. I mean, she has younger siblings on her.
You know, she has younger siblings. I'm not going to name their names, right? But I feel like there is a...

Speaker 3 Do you miss them? I always go, do you miss them? It's like, no, not really.

Speaker 3 Why aren't you good with kids? You don't like kids at all? No. Wow.

Speaker 3 Do you ever...

Speaker 3 Oh, my God. I don't.
You don't like little babies? You don't think they're cute?

Speaker 5 Yeah, they're not cute.

Speaker 3 So do you never want to be, like, you never want, do you, do you think one day you might think you might want to be a mom or never never never never god why I hope she sticks to that

Speaker 3 she won't be you never know she could be like Kalila and Coinda her sister plenty of women decide very young that they don't want to be a mother yeah

Speaker 3 I've been asking her for fucking 12 hours a day every day you know now that George beat me to it it hurts it's like I've been asking I go can we have a baby and she's like not with you because she'd have to have sex with you no she has sex with me nope yeah she just doesn't let me nope no no no no

Speaker 3 she just No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Nobody wants to think that through.
Everybody thinks that's gross as shit. She doesn't want me to unload an inside her.

Speaker 3 Hey. You know what I mean? So do you think in 10 years, when I ask you in 10 years when you're almost 30, you'll still say no? Yeah.

Speaker 3 I don't think so.

Speaker 3 What is it? Why do you think you feel that way?

Speaker 5 I just hate them.

Speaker 3 No, no, no, no. But your mom had five.

Speaker 3 That's why she hates them. Didn't your mom have five? Yeah.
Yeah. Five.

Speaker 3 Five. Yeah, five of them.
That reminds me, I watched a documentary about yesterday about the Great Barrier Reef and about the green sea turtles. They swim.
There are other documentaries.

Speaker 3 They swim all the way to this place called Rain Island. And these big turtles, and they poop out.
They had a close-up of the sack, of the birth sack, and they were pooping out these little eggs.

Speaker 3 And she has 20 of them. 20 kids.

Speaker 3 and then the turtles have to go back to the ocean and their flippers are so heavy their bodies are so heavy it takes them forever and there's a traffic jam there's too many so what happens some of them think they're gonna take a shortcut

Speaker 3 and then there's jagged rocks and they just fall down the jagged rocks and they end up on their back they I mean you saw they show one just crack its head

Speaker 3 and its flippers are keeping it's like

Speaker 3 and the other ones are like you see you should have waited and it reminded me of when you know when there's two lanes and you're driving and everyone's in the one lane because you know it merges into one?

Speaker 3 Yeah. And there's guys that are going up the right-hand side because they want to sneak in? You know those people? Yeah.
I hate those fucking people. I hate those.
I hate you. Okay.

Speaker 3 You are the turtle that falls off the rock thinking he's going to get ahead.

Speaker 3 Let me ask you. And we're all waiting and going, see, you just got to wait.

Speaker 3 Are you one of those, right? Let's say you're in a lane, right? And this car desperately wants to go into your lane. She's blinking.
Maybe she's like that. She's going like this.
Yeah, can I get in?

Speaker 3 Right?

Speaker 3 What do you do? Do you do what I do and go like, this is the way?

Speaker 3 Window up. Yeah, yeah.
I do this move. I'll look.
You be the lady. Okay.

Speaker 3 Can I get in?

Speaker 3 And I just go. Straight ahead.
Yeah, yeah. I ignore.
Yeah, I ignore.

Speaker 3 Have you ever let them in? No. Yeah, me either.
Never. I ignore them the same way I ignore.

Speaker 3 You know, when you get to an off-ramp on a freeway and there's a homeless guy there with a sign and he stares right at you? Yeah.

Speaker 3 So you're the homeless homeless guy, and wave to me like you're trying to get my attention. Ready? Go ahead.
Hey,

Speaker 3 hey!

Speaker 3 Yeah, I've done that too, I've done that too. Hey, right, right.

Speaker 3 Nope.

Speaker 3 What I'd like to do is, I like to count my money.

Speaker 3 I do.

Speaker 3 They go, hey, and I just windows rolled up, I just count my money.

Speaker 3 One second, yeah, yeah, and then I just drive through. Yeah, or here's another thing: I like, I'll take a star, like a Starbucks napkin that's just laying around the car.
Yeah. And I'll roll it.

Speaker 3 I'll just throw it out the window. And they get really excited.
God damn it, 100. And then they look it up.
It's just a Starbucks. They don't like it.
That's so mean. Yeah, I know, but I do like it.

Speaker 3 Sometimes.

Speaker 3 What do you do?

Speaker 3 What do you do? Sometimes I'll, a homeless guy, I'll come up.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. Do you have any change? And I usually keep a cup, a big cup of change in my center console.
And I roll in the window. I go, come here.
And I let them get close.

Speaker 3 And I hit him in the face with all the change.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah. You know know what scam I did?

Speaker 3 Rudy, we're kidding. We don't do that.
We don't do that.

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Speaker 3 You know what scam I don't like? What? It gets me every fucking time. I ran out of gas.
No? Oh, which one? It's when you go to a 7-Eleven

Speaker 3 and, you know, you have the homeless people that want to do a job for your fucking dollar. Like what? Like what? Like open the door for you.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 And then when they open the door, you're just like,

Speaker 3 and then when I leave, I have to give them the money. Yeah, you don't have a choice.
You don't have a choice. They did a job.
In Chicago, I don't know if they don't do this out here.

Speaker 3 I've never seen this. In a lot of metropolitan cities.

Speaker 3 Not Los Angeles, they'll take Windex and newspaper and wash your window. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 They They don't do that out here for some reason, but in Chicago, they'll do it, and you got to go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, yeah, I don't want it, and they'll do it, and then they're like, no, no, no, real quick, and you're like, fuck, and then you have to give them money.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so you know what my thing is? I like giving homeless people money. All jokes aside, I do give money to the homeless.
Yeah,

Speaker 3 I usually give the most money to people that are like doing a thing.

Speaker 3 If you're begging, I'll give you money. Okay, you're begging, I'll give you a dollar.
You need money. Okay, fine.

Speaker 3 People that like in New York, especially, uh, singing, piano, drum, the kids that play the fucking drums, I'll give those kids 20 bucks, right? Because I think that's incredible.

Speaker 3 They're working hard, they're lugging that shit around town, just sitting and going, please help. It's like, okay, fine, yeah.

Speaker 3 But the kids that like make something and try to do something to make money, I always give them more money. Yeah, because I think that's, I think that's, you know, they're trying to make money.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I don't like when homeless people ask for specific dollar amounts. Can I have $3.86? I need $19.95.
And you're like, um, you know what what I mean? Like,

Speaker 3 then you think they have a specific thing they want to buy. Yeah, crack.
Yeah, crack. Right.
Yeah,

Speaker 3 they have a crack counter, and they go, I've got $12.88.

Speaker 3 I need another

Speaker 3 $7.65 to get the crack rock I need. You know what I always thought? Yeah.
When a crack addict asks for money, right? Imagine instead of giving them money, you give me a money. You give them crack.

Speaker 3 You know how happy they would be? So funny.

Speaker 3 Like half their work is done.

Speaker 3 What if that day the crack addict was finally quitting crack?

Speaker 3 He was like, all I need is $100.

Speaker 3 I can get this hotel rented for the night. I'm going to clean up.
I'm going to shave.

Speaker 3 I got myself a suit. I'm going to go tomorrow morning and get a job.
And he's like, it's all I need is a couple bucks. You give them a huge crack rock.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and then they die.

Speaker 3 Bob. No, no, no.
They don't die. It's just, you know, they go back in a crack.

Speaker 3 I always give to the homeless. You know, my mom used to do?

Speaker 3 There's a thing called Streetwise in Chicago. It's a newspaper.
The Chicago Tribune. This is why I like it.

Speaker 3 It's work ethic for homeless people that are like, they want to do something to give them purpose as well as make money.

Speaker 3 So they go to the Tribune in the morning, they get a stack, and they pay a dollar for them, and they sell them for two. So they keep a buck.

Speaker 3 And my mom bought one every day when I was a kid. I always saw, whenever there was a guy selling Streetwise, she'd buy it.
And it's comprised by

Speaker 3 people from the homeless community that have contributed stories and stuff over time. Anyway, my mom always bought a Streetwise, and she was like, they had to get up.

Speaker 3 They had to go all the way to the Tribune.

Speaker 3 They had to have capital to pay for it, right? And then make a profit. So that's entrepreneurs, man.
In L.A., we've got the worst homeless problem I've ever seen in my entire life.

Speaker 3 I can't even. It breaks my heart.
It's gotten so bad.

Speaker 3 Honestly,

Speaker 3 it's so bad now, they had to put port-a-potties.

Speaker 3 all over under the freeway because they were pooping in the street. Dude, there was poop

Speaker 3 under the bridge. I lived on Beechwood, right? Yeah.
So, you know, that bridge on like Gower? Gower, yeah. It's a Gower Bridge, yeah.
It's now a city. I know.

Speaker 3 It's an underground, dystopian city. I know they're putting a homeless Ralphs on it.
They're doing

Speaker 3 right. Yeah.
They still have a Starbucks. It's amazing.

Speaker 3 But that's the reason why we moved. Yeah, because it's crazy over there.
Every time I would drive by it, I'd be like, it's getting closer. Yeah.
And I have empathy and sympathy for the fucking.

Speaker 3 Of course, we're kidding around when we're talking about it. We're kidding around when we say it, right? But get a fucking job.

Speaker 3 I'm kidding. No, but I, um, and I, but it's, it got to the point where you would walk out of the house and people would be like, yeah, my car just got broken into, but it would happen every day.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Something would happen every day

Speaker 3 in my neighborhood. And you look, that was, that's a nice neighborhood.
It used to be. I'm saying just right up that beach wood, though? Oh, yeah, it's, you go.
Hundreds of millions of dollars.

Speaker 3 A lot of these people live up there, but right there on Franklin and Gower. And Gower in that area, it's turning into a fucking dystopian disaster.

Speaker 3 Because it's all the stuff, it's all the homeless that from Hollywood. They go up there because it's safer and nicer up there.

Speaker 3 They don't want to be in the street at night where they can get, you know, look, dude, you have to think, if you're homeless,

Speaker 3 you're worried about other homeless people who are going to steal your shit, right? Fuck with you, try to rob you, hurt you. So

Speaker 3 you just want to get away from that shit, too. So you got to go up more where there's, you know, that you feel safer at.

Speaker 3 It's, dude, it's honestly, it's gotten so sad and bad in L.A.,

Speaker 3 it's like a little too much.

Speaker 3 Well, here's the problem.

Speaker 3 You want me to give you the political problem? They tried to create this thing called

Speaker 3 something key. There was a program where unused hotels because of COVID,

Speaker 3 they got a grant from the government to put homeless people in these hotel rooms to try to give them a better start back, right? There's shelters downtown. They try.

Speaker 3 But they found out that that hotel thing was, they were taking a bunch of fucking money. Who was? The hotels.

Speaker 3 These hotel investors were stealing money. They were getting huge grants from the government, like PPP.
They wouldn't do it. They wouldn't put homeless people in there.

Speaker 3 They would only do a certain percentage.

Speaker 3 And then they, and then some of them outright stopped. So they're going to get sued.
You know,

Speaker 3 it's so funny. You only hear about this stuff way after it's over, but they can't do shit about it.
Do you know what the Woolsey fires are?

Speaker 3 There were

Speaker 3 the fires that were up north earlier. Remember the big fires that we had this summer?

Speaker 3 We burn every year, Bob. Okay, just

Speaker 3 I believe you. All right, so there were these things called the Woolsey fires.
Do you say so? There was.

Speaker 3 people lose their homes people die it's crazy right in california i see it i saw this thing about the woolsey fires so cal edison our our electric company they're getting sued because they finally did all the research and found out investigating that it was their fault that the fires you know every year they blame it on someone smoking or right no it was the fucking electric company had a faulty tower

Speaker 3 caught and they did it yeah it was their fault my god so they're getting sued now but this is the problem You hear about it, it's too late. It's over.
And then you see a movie like

Speaker 3 someone will write a movie about it. Yeah.
Right? Like

Speaker 3 Aaron Brockovich.

Speaker 3 Yeah. It's too late.
And then 30 years later, we watch it, go, I can't believe that happened. Yeah,

Speaker 3 it's over.

Speaker 3 What a controversy. I want to do something about it.

Speaker 3 Well, they're all dead. Yeah, they always make movies like that.
Mark, what's his name? Ruffalo has a new movie like that. Something about water.
I saw it. It's all the same.
About water?

Speaker 3 It's about, what's it called? Dark water. Is it about water? Dark water.
Dark water. Yeah, but he's in it.
What's it about, Andrea? He's in it. Yeah, I saw it.

Speaker 3 I swear to God, I just. The reason why I don't, because these kind of movies come out every year, so I don't know what the problem is.
What's dark?

Speaker 7 It is about a lawyer.

Speaker 3 Alright, that's it. That's it.
That's fine. That's enough.
It's about a lawyer who will be.

Speaker 3 Sorry again.

Speaker 7 It's about a lawyer who used to defend chemical companies

Speaker 7 until a neighbor of his mother tells him, look, because of these companies, my land is completely poisoned. My cattle is

Speaker 3 dying. Right.
And people are like,

Speaker 3 yeah, that's his pitch. And the movie is like,

Speaker 3 we love it.

Speaker 3 You know what that kind of sounds from? That sounds like

Speaker 3 we talked about this.

Speaker 3 The Devil We Know.

Speaker 3 What? You didn't see that documentary? I thought we talked about that. That's the most sad shit on.

Speaker 3 Remind me because I see so many documents. I I think we talked about it on this show one time.

Speaker 3 The Devil We Know is about

Speaker 3 Teflon, about Teflon, and about how 3M created Teflon. And the people on these farms, they found that the cows' tongues would fall out of their fucking heads.

Speaker 3 Dude, crazy. Teflon is in everyone's blood around the world

Speaker 3 up until

Speaker 3 soldiers from the Korean War. That's how far back Teflon is in your blood.
I remember that documentary. Because it was on pants.
It was jackets, shirts, hats, coat.

Speaker 3 Everything you own had Teflon on it.

Speaker 3 That's kind of the same thing. That's the Andreas, the same thing.

Speaker 3 By the way, speaking of great television, my TV show, Davey, got

Speaker 3 a nomination for a Gotham Award.

Speaker 3 It did? Congratulations. I know.
I don't even know what that was. I heard about it today.
What is a Gotham? I don't know. Yeah, yeah.
I just heard it and I said, awesome.

Speaker 3 And then I didn't research what it is.

Speaker 3 Maybe Bruce Wayne gives the award or something.

Speaker 3 What is it? Is it a New York award?

Speaker 7 No, I have no idea. I just thought Batman would give it that award or something.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I just did the Bruce Wayne joke. Yeah, but no.
I did the Bruce Wayne joke, and then you did the fucking Batman joke afterwards. Hey, hey, that's

Speaker 3 two different jokes. It's the same guy, though.
It's not the same guy. Bruce Wayne and Batman are two completely separate entities.
I know, but they're the same human doing both roles. Incorrect.

Speaker 3 Who the fuck is fucking

Speaker 3 Batman then? Exactly. Ah, I get what you're doing.
Who is Batman? So next time,

Speaker 3 next time, dude, just listen to me first. You don't listen to me.

Speaker 3 Who said that? Did I say Bruce Wayne first? You did. You did.
Oh, thank you. Yeah, you had the joke first.
Thank you. He's trying to step on your jokes lately.
I know he is. What do you think that is?

Speaker 3 There is a thing, because when I even came in here, you know what I mean? He gives you

Speaker 3 a lot of warmth. He's warm with me.
With me, he's very cold, prickly. I'm like, what's up, Dizzy? He's like, I did it.
I did it. Yeah.
You know what I mean? It took me forever. It took me forever.

Speaker 3 With you, it's like, welcome. Welcome, Andrew.
Because maybe it's because I thank him often. Thank you.

Speaker 3 What's his name? Andreas. Andreas.

Speaker 3 I appreciate it. I'll tell you why I don't like Thanksgiving.
I have to tell this story.

Speaker 3 Is I've never had a really good Thanksgiving meal. Yeah.
Every time I get invited, I'm always invited to Thanksgiving meals, like, especially when I've been in LA, like hours into the meal.

Speaker 3 It's already over? Yeah, they'll call me and go, hey, I don't know what you're doing, but we just thought of you. Yeah.
We're doing this thing.

Speaker 3 So one time Pauli goes this is years ago Paulie goes I swear to God he goes my brother and I were like playing FIFA we're like at his my brother's house playing FIFA yeah and I was like let's see what restaurants are open I was gonna just buy my brother a meal whatever and Paulie goes dude the family's here brah I go yeah my mom's here dude and she's asking about you brah And I go, yeah, but I, he's like, dude, you gotta come.

Speaker 3 My mom's asking. You know, this is when Mitzi was.

Speaker 3 My dad died. Oh, that's when that comes out? Yeah, my dad's dead.
That's when I got it. Oh, yeah, I was about to tell you, my dad died.
Oh, no. I got to go.

Speaker 3 You would think that you would open with that fucking excuse. No, save it.
Save the dad died. I got to get out of here.
My dad's dead. Yeah, yeah.
And they're like, oh, wow.

Speaker 3 Dad died. Next time.

Speaker 3 You can use dad died stuff. You know, you can use that for a lot of stuff.

Speaker 3 And it's also not a lie now. It's real.
Yeah, I can get my dad died. Check it out.
And then later they're like, your dad died a year ago. Yeah, but he died.
He's still dead. Yeah, yeah.
Asshole.

Speaker 3 How about this? Homeless guy? Hey, man, do you have any change? Hey, bud, my dad died. Make him feel bad.

Speaker 3 That's a good one. Right? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Hey, Starbucks, you know, or like at a restaurant when they see you and the tip, and the tip thing, you know, they can see on the computer the percentage? Yeah. And it starts at 15, 18, 20? Yeah.

Speaker 3 You know? And you just, no tip. And they look at you and they go, whoa, and you go, my dad died.
What if the homeless person, they always have a story? Right.

Speaker 3 That's what what I thought you were going to say before when you say they usually come up to you and they say at a gas station, they go, hey, I just need six bucks for gas to get home to the thing.

Speaker 3 And it's not true. But even sometimes it's an even awful story.
Like what? I was in the nom. Oh.
I was in nom. Oh.
And I had a wife and two babies.

Speaker 3 And I drank a lot because of nom or because of the PTSD. Oh, man, I'm sorry.
Yeah, and one night the house was on fire. Did you set the house on fire? I don't know what happened, man.
Was it so calm?

Speaker 3 You weren't there, man.

Speaker 3 Right, they always say that.

Speaker 3 They always say you weren't there. This is terrible.

Speaker 3 This is so mean. I know, but I want you to fucking say my dad died at the end of this.
I know, don't ruin it.

Speaker 3 Sir.

Speaker 3 Who set you on house? Your house was set on fire.

Speaker 3 Baby's carcasses. Oh, no.
Yeah, I was holding them, but they were burnt like bacon. Man,

Speaker 3 anyway, after that, man,

Speaker 3 the government shut down my funds, man. I had the insurance rent.
Anyway, now,

Speaker 3 three years later, man, I just need a hot dog.

Speaker 3 I need a hot dog, man. I'm hungry, man.

Speaker 3 I don't drink anymore. I just need a hot dog, man.
Hey, hey.

Speaker 3 Hey. Yeah.

Speaker 3 My dad died.

Speaker 3 I would have given him a hot dog. There we go.
I'd have given a hot dog dog. So in that situation, you don't do the dot thing.
But let's go back to what we were talking about for real.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I hate Thanksgiving food. I've talked about it before.
I've always hated it.

Speaker 3 Oh, guys, guys, talking about Thanksgiving food, like we

Speaker 3 brought

Speaker 3 you guys. Howdy-doody fucking bullshit here, man.
Guys, guys, guys, guys. Interrupt fucking people

Speaker 3 here, bud. Speaking of Thanksgiving a poo.
I know. We're in the midst of it, bud.
Well, tell me, Andres, what is it? I thought that you interrupted, tell us.

Speaker 7 George and I brought you guys a pie, but Jules got you some really authentic Thanksgiving food.

Speaker 3 What do you have? What do you have?

Speaker 5 You love it.

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Rules and restrictions apply.

Speaker 3 Well, tell us what.

Speaker 3 If it's Balut, I'm walking out. Is it Balut?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Let's try. You have to try.

Speaker 3 No way.

Speaker 3 Let's try. I'm gagging right now.
I never had it. I won't do it.
Can we open it? No, you. you know.
I'll open it. No.
Will you look? Honestly?

Speaker 3 Don't be a you know what, dude? You can't just. You know what?

Speaker 3 You're a white piece of shit. You're fucking...
You look down on other people. This is my holiday.
You look down on other colours. This is my holiday.
You look down on other people's culture, dude.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And stop being like that.
No, that's what this whole thing is about. Yeah.
So give me the balut. Bring it up here.
Yeah, yeah. Don't eat.
Don't eat it. Don't be a fucking dick, dude.

Speaker 3 I'm going to throw up. You're going to eat it.
All right. You're going to watch me throw up.
That's fine. We'll watch you.
No, I'm not going to eat, but. That's so fucking rude.
It's my people, dude.

Speaker 3 Okay, bring the balut I'm not gonna eat it. Yeah

Speaker 3 Nope. Oh my god.
Alright, so uh now honestly where do you get the balut? Put it there. I'm not gonna get this at vaughn's.
Where do you get this at? Where did you get it? Vaughn.

Speaker 3 I ordered it.

Speaker 3 The Vaughn Philippine. Alright, so you just break this open?

Speaker 3 Get him over a napkin. Oh, yeah, give me a napkin because I've never had this before.
Don't be a dick, dude. No, no, no, I'm not gonna die.

Speaker 3 I'm gonna take my jacket off because I'm sweating for some reason. Oh, God.
I'm scared.

Speaker 3 I've never been out of here.

Speaker 3 Alright, so people, for people that remember, Balut is a Filipino. We talked about it last.
We talked about it, yeah, yeah. Give me the napkin, right? So you just crack open the top? Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 3 Alright, so let me put this back on.

Speaker 3 Let me crack open the top.

Speaker 3 Oh, don't.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 It's so hard, it won't crack. It won't crack.

Speaker 3 You can do it on the

Speaker 3 Crush it like this?

Speaker 3 Oh my god. Oh fuck, this fucking cracked.
Okay, that's fine. Okay.
Do it in the middle.

Speaker 3 Here, yeah, you have to drink the juice.

Speaker 3 Okay, first, I'll just tell you what it is.

Speaker 3 This is like the movie Aliens.

Speaker 3 Remember the movie Aliens? First of all, smell it. Smell it.

Speaker 3 Smell it. Bro.

Speaker 3 Bro. Give me the the garbage can.
I'm going to throw up. Honestly.
Honestly.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God. Honestly.
Honestly. I'm going to throw up.
Honestly. And I had good ramen.
I had ramen that I liked for dinner.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 So, so.

Speaker 3 There's juice all over the place. There's blue.

Speaker 3 I'm going to throw up.

Speaker 3 I'm going to throw up.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 No, I gotta get out of here. I have to get out of here.
I'm gonna throw up. Honestly, that's so fucking gross.

Speaker 3 Alright, so.

Speaker 3 Fuck. Alright, so.
I'm gonna throw up. What is this part?

Speaker 3 I can't see. Oh my god.
Oh god.

Speaker 3 What is that part?

Speaker 3 Um, that's the, um, I think the foot. That's the foot.
Oh, the foot.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God. That's the foot.
Let's try this yellow. What is the yellow, though? I have to know the body part.
I don't want to look at eat that's fucking asshole. I think it's the.
It's the yolk part?

Speaker 3 Yeah. Alright, how about this, Andrew? This is my nightmare.
I know. I'll eat a little bit of this.
You eat a little. No.
Yeah, yeah. I almost threw up now.
I don't care. I'm going to try.

Speaker 3 I'm going to throw up.

Speaker 3 Oh, God.

Speaker 3 It's good.

Speaker 3 Oh, God.

Speaker 3 It's so fucking gross. Oh God, get that the fuck out of here.

Speaker 3 Get it out. No, now try it.
No, I'll get it out.

Speaker 3 Let's open the whole thing though.

Speaker 3 I don't think there's any duck there.

Speaker 3 I'm gonna throw up. Look at it.
Look at this part.

Speaker 3 Oh my god.

Speaker 3 I'm gonna throw up. Oh my god.
Oh my god. Oh, there's no face.

Speaker 3 Where's the face hat? Oh my god, where did you get this?

Speaker 3 This is Edvon's? Oh, is that the face?

Speaker 3 Oh my god.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 You should be ashamed.

Speaker 3 This is what I get for joking about Thanksgiving earlier.

Speaker 3 Because I have fucking just fucking dumped juice on my fucking

Speaker 3 drench this table, George. So nothing.

Speaker 3 Oh my god. God in bleach.

Speaker 3 Yeah, where's the sauce? You have sauce? Yeah, you forgot? Alright. My god, is this the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life?

Speaker 3 I mean, I'm not even kidding. No, get it away!

Speaker 3 Get it away!

Speaker 3 Dude,

Speaker 3 you forget I'm where everybody's going for now.

Speaker 3 George, get this the fuck away!

Speaker 3 Not COVID, I gotta get out of the room. Yeah, we go.

Speaker 3 Oh my god.

Speaker 3 Please.

Speaker 3 Are you gonna eat this? Can you eat that?

Speaker 3 No, you're not gonna eat that. No, she'll eat that one.
Don't eat that. There's the new one.
Don't eat it.

Speaker 3 Here, here's the trash can.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God. I'll be right back.
If you had a ranch, are you being real?

Speaker 3 No, I need to wash my hands. Yeah, yeah, me too.
Because I fucking coughed into my hands.

Speaker 3 Oh, my fucking god.

Speaker 3 Rudy,

Speaker 3 how much is a balut egg?

Speaker 3 One dollar, um, no, twenty-five cents.

Speaker 3 Twenty-five cents? That's what a little bird's life is worth, twenty-five cents.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Rocks are more expensive.
By far. Yeah.

Speaker 3 You know what's so funny? For people that didn't see the other episode, we talked about balut. It's a baby duck that they eat in the Philippines.
And they just. What do you got? Salt?

Speaker 3 Oh, my God. Are you really going to eat it? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 How do you you know if it's not rotten? I mean it smells rotten. Is it rotten?

Speaker 5 I'll try. I don't think so.

Speaker 3 Oh, you try first and then your stomach hurts and then you stop? What the fuck? The Philippines.

Speaker 3 That kind of what kind of system is that? I just can't. And do you eat it in one whole bite?

Speaker 3 Everything? No.

Speaker 3 Do you eat that? Oh, it's good.

Speaker 3 It's good. No.

Speaker 3 Oh, God.

Speaker 3 Look, I respect the culture. No, you don't.
No, I do. No, you don't.

Speaker 3 And you know what I want to say?

Speaker 3 I'm sorry to the Native Americans for what they did.

Speaker 3 What? Yes. Why? I'm getting reflective.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 You're so sorry. Because what Western Europeans did to the Native Americans is disgusting, and it's not funny, and it's gross, and this is giving me perspective.

Speaker 3 Let me ask you something. I don't know why, but really, this is like

Speaker 3 in the last of the Mohicans. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Do you think that if Indians found a white baby, they would raise it as their own? They'd kill it. Exactly.
They would smoke it. They would have killed it.
They would have smoked it.

Speaker 3 They would have killed it. Yeah.
Right away. Chief, I found the white baby.
What do you think the chip would say? Throw it off the cliff. Exactly.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 So when I'm watching Last of the Mohicans, I'm like, I don't believe this. It's not real.
It's not real.

Speaker 3 Well, they're trying to say that what it's trying to do is show that Native Americans are compassionate, good-hearted people. Oh, that's what they're doing.
And the whites weren't.

Speaker 3 That's the truth. Yeah.
The whites came and they were like,

Speaker 3 it's not a bit.

Speaker 3 She likes it.

Speaker 3 It's not a bit.

Speaker 3 How much have you eaten? She's halfway through. Oh, God.
I'm just going to have one more bit and then bite, and then I'm done.

Speaker 3 I can't even. I can hear it.
The crunch. I can hear the shell crack.
Cornflakes? What are you crunching it for?

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 I honestly almost threw up. Yeah.
It would hurt me. It hurt my inside.
And you know what I was bummed about? We made homemade ramen tonight. And I was like, I don't want to throw up.

Speaker 3 It was good ramen. But if that egg was pussy, you would eat it.

Speaker 3 I mean, the scale of how different that is.

Speaker 3 The reality.

Speaker 3 No, think about it, though. Think about it.

Speaker 3 You're like a young 20, early 20s. You see a hot chick.
I'm not now. I know, but let's say you are.
Oh, when I was.

Speaker 3 When you were in your early 20s, like I was, right? Yeah. And you're at a bar, hot chick wants to get down, right?

Speaker 3 And then you're hooking up, and then, you know, you're eating your vagina or whatever. And it looked and tasted like that.
You would still do it.

Speaker 3 It never looks like that. I know, but you would do it, though, if it did.
You're right. Exactly.
Yeah. All right, hey.
Let's see what we're talking about, Jesus. We need to talk about

Speaker 3 Thanksgiving is the worst food on planet Earth.

Speaker 3 I hate it. Turkey's gross.

Speaker 3 It's an ugly bird and it tastes bad. Stuffing, not that good.

Speaker 3 Cranberry sauce, not that good.

Speaker 3 I like cranberry sauce. It's fine.
It's fine.

Speaker 3 Stuffing, it's fine. Green bean casserole, fine.
Never had it? The only thing I love, Hawaiian rolls.

Speaker 3 What? There's Hawaiian rolls when it comes to Thanksgiving? Hawaiian rolls. Everybody has Hawaiian rolls.
No, that's not a part of the culture.

Speaker 3 Your family probably did that. Everybody.
Didn't you guys do Hawaiian rolls? Yep. Yes.

Speaker 3 What does Hawaii

Speaker 3 bake bread from Hawaii have into? Sweet rolls. Hawaiian sweet rolls.
I know, but that still wasn't like 100 years ago.

Speaker 3 Yes, they did. Really? People have been doing...
Oh, you mean when settlers... Call them sweet rolls then?

Speaker 3 From Hawaii.

Speaker 3 Everybody knows their Hawaiian sweet rolls.

Speaker 3 I just want to get what you're saying: is that Thanksgiving has been around for hundreds of years in this country. How many?

Speaker 3 I don't know, maybe 200 years.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 3 Go on. You think it's wrong? Yes.
Go on.

Speaker 3 What do you want to know? Hawaiians. No, I'm just trying to get it.
Hawaiian sweet rolls have been around since the beginning.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 I'm sure

Speaker 3 Hawaii was like the last states, right? Alaska, Hawaii. The last two.
50.

Speaker 3 49, 50. Right, right? So it's like, you know, before that,

Speaker 3 when we were 13 states, right? Yeah.

Speaker 3 I didn't even know about fucking Hawaii. And they had probably Thanksgiving back then.

Speaker 3 They had sweet rolls. They were just from one of the colonies.
Okay. When you just say Hawaiian sweet roll, that's all I want to know.
It just sounded weird, but I guess you're right.

Speaker 3 That's what they're called. Andreas, what did they have Thanksgiving in wherever you're from? No.
Oh, Spain? We didn't have to meet any pilgrims. Right, you guys were there first.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Okay, so we have... Andres has prepared something for us, so I don't know what it is, but go ahead.

Speaker 7 Okay, so since you guys know so much about Thanksgiving, I thought about a game. Let's do some Thanksgiving trivia.

Speaker 7 Whoever gets three answers right wins.

Speaker 3 Competition. See, now you'll perk off when there's a competition he's in.
All right, let's go.

Speaker 7 Rudy's a part of this too.

Speaker 3 Okay, great. What do we win?

Speaker 7 You guys can get that turkey that is between the two of you.

Speaker 3 This one? Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 3 I always like that guy. That's huge.
Yeah, it's huge. Okay.
Okay,

Speaker 7 so when was the first tense given, Bobby?

Speaker 3 The very first one? Yeah. Whoever gets it right,

Speaker 3 closest?

Speaker 7 Yes, the closest.

Speaker 3 1847.

Speaker 3 Uh

Speaker 3 17

Speaker 3 Well, 1776 was the declaration, so let's say

Speaker 3 let's say

Speaker 3 1788

Speaker 3 Rudy

Speaker 5 1782.

Speaker 3 she just prices right at me

Speaker 3 I know whatever's lower yeah

Speaker 7 so so good ah the first has given was in 1621

Speaker 3 she won yeah she prices right at me

Speaker 3 so now you have to go first she gets to go first right okay so Rudy how fast can a turkey fly

Speaker 5 how fast can a turkey fly

Speaker 3 10 miles per hour.

Speaker 3 Okay. Then who goes next? Bobby or me?

Speaker 7 Bobby.

Speaker 3 Bobby?

Speaker 3 I'll say five miles per hour.

Speaker 3 And I will say it's a trick question. Turkeys can't fly.

Speaker 7 Okay, so Rudy wins again as 55 miles per hour.

Speaker 3 Turkeys can't fly. They can fly.

Speaker 3 55 miles per hour. They're land birds.

Speaker 3 They can't fly.

Speaker 3 Well,

Speaker 3 maybe in Spain.

Speaker 3 I'm a turkey I like to fly

Speaker 3 I'm a pesh watch me fly damn it Rudy's won twice I know it's incredible how many questions are total five

Speaker 7 whoever gets uh gets three wins no

Speaker 3 five five five five yeah how many questions do you have I have plenty okay good

Speaker 7 which president Mathens given a national holiday

Speaker 3 I only know five

Speaker 3 I only know five presidents who's up first you you are I am.

Speaker 3 I'm gonna. Um, who made it a national holiday? Probably uh

Speaker 3 Woodrow Wilson. I was gonna say that.
I swear to God, I was gonna say that. All right, you can say it with me.

Speaker 3 All right, say it with me. I'm not gonna say that.
What is it? Um,

Speaker 3 what president made it in a national holiday?

Speaker 3 I'm gonna say

Speaker 3 John Adams,

Speaker 3 Rudy.

Speaker 3 She gets this one, I'm going to be pissed.

Speaker 3 Lincoln.

Speaker 3 No, he's not going to be a slave.

Speaker 3 What? Lincoln.

Speaker 3 Rudy 3.

Speaker 3 Are you fucking kidding me? No. I'm going to look.

Speaker 3 I got to Google it. I got to go.
He is our Google.

Speaker 3 It doesn't matter. I don't believe him.

Speaker 3 What president?

Speaker 3 Wait, wait, hold on. What president? He freed the slaves and he made Thanksgiving.
That's incredible.

Speaker 3 Made. this guy's got a pretty thick resume.
Thanksgiving. Guys on the penny.

Speaker 3 I can't believe that. No, you're wrong.

Speaker 3 You're fucking wrong. Fuck you.
What is it? Who made a national holiday? President Roosevelt.

Speaker 7 Not according to my research.

Speaker 3 Okay, I said, what president made Thanksgiving a national holiday, right?

Speaker 3 And it said,

Speaker 3 President Roosevelt.

Speaker 7 Yeah, let me consult here.

Speaker 3 No, Abraham Lincoln.

Speaker 3 Abraham Lincoln. Also,

Speaker 3 Roosevelt did the beheading of the

Speaker 3 pardoning of the fucking turkey. Pardoning the turkey.
Yeah, but Abraham Lincoln made it a national holiday.

Speaker 7 This is like 10. If you lose one point, you are minus one.

Speaker 3 Alright. Alright, fine.
Fine. What's next? What's next?

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 7 Which song was originally written for Thanksgiving?

Speaker 3 Which song was originally written for Thanksgiving?

Speaker 7 Jingle Bells,

Speaker 7 Silent Night,

Speaker 7 Toxic

Speaker 3 Britney Spears

Speaker 3 Well, those three

Speaker 3 Silent Knight

Speaker 3 Jingle Bell

Speaker 3 Toxic

Speaker 3 Jingle Bell.

Speaker 3 Oh, wow, Bobby.

Speaker 3 I got one? Yeah, Bobby has one.

Speaker 7 You're back at zero.

Speaker 3 No, no, no, no, no, no. That other one's bullshit.
You're back at zero. No, I'm not back at zero because I asked a question.
You questioned the judge. I'm back at zero? Yeah, you're back at zero.

Speaker 3 That's how the game goes, bud. Don't yell at him.

Speaker 7 How many different varieties of pumpkin are there?

Speaker 3 How many different varieties of pumpkin are there? Yep. Who's up first, Bobby? No, Rudy.
No,

Speaker 3 I got the last one, so I kill first. Oh, you'd rather go.

Speaker 3 Okay, go ahead.

Speaker 3 No, you idiot. You'd rather go later because then you can hear what other people say.
But I'm going last now. Okay, good.
You fucked up. How many varieties of pumpkin are there? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Five. I got it.
What is it, Rudy? Ten. Sixteen.

Speaker 7 Okay, this one is for Andrew, but

Speaker 3 it's 45.

Speaker 3 There's 45 varieties of pumpkins? Well, because gourds. You got to think about gourds.
Oh, gourds. I forgot the gourd family.
Those are pumpkins. I didn't know that.

Speaker 3 I don't know if that's true, but I'm saying. Asparagus? Is that a pumpkin? Same thing.
Asparagus. All nightshade vetches.
Eggplant.

Speaker 3 All right. So, one, zero, three.
Yep. Okay.
Perfect.

Speaker 7 Okay, well, which professionals are the beasties during the beastie boys?

Speaker 3 Which beastie boy is the coolest?

Speaker 7 Which professionals are the busiest boys?

Speaker 3 Hello, nasty. That's my favorite

Speaker 3 license to ill. Wait a minute.
Say it again.

Speaker 7 Which professionals are the busiest during Thanksgiving?

Speaker 3 Which professionals are the busiest during Thanksgiving? What professionals are the busiest during Thanksgiving? Hookers.

Speaker 3 Okay. No, that's not my answer.

Speaker 3 No, it's not. Even as it's a joke, you can't just throw it out there.
This show is a joke show. I gotta make jokes.
Go ahead.

Speaker 3 My real answer is

Speaker 3 pilots.

Speaker 3 Wow, that's a good one. Okay, Rudy? Pilots.
Farmers.

Speaker 3 Farmers, good. Farmers a good one.
Two goods. Can we get three good answers? Male men.
Male men and women.

Speaker 3 Male X.

Speaker 3 Male X. Male X.
Male Xs.

Speaker 3 Plumbers.

Speaker 3 Because people are pooping and clogging the toilets. Is that real? It is real.
What did it say? Why?

Speaker 7 Yes, probably because people eat a lot and then shit a lot.

Speaker 3 That's interesting. I guess that's interesting.

Speaker 7 So I guess the closest was Rudy, because she said farmers and it is something related to food.

Speaker 3 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's not fair. That's not fair.
That's not it. That's not fair.

Speaker 3 How many questions do you have? This is fun. I have plenty.
He's got a lot of fun. I saw the list.
It's a lot.

Speaker 7 Okay, so, Rudy, what is the name of a baby turkey?

Speaker 3 Balut. You just ate it.
No.

Speaker 3 You evil Filipino girl, you.

Speaker 3 Um.

Speaker 3 A baby turkey.

Speaker 3 There's gotta be a time limit.

Speaker 3 A baby turkey.

Speaker 3 Okay, it's a very good guess.

Speaker 7 Bobby?

Speaker 7 Tiki's

Speaker 3 tiki? Yeah, tikis.

Speaker 3 I'm gonna say baby turkeys are called turk turk.

Speaker 3 Oof. What is it?

Speaker 7 The real answer is Polt.

Speaker 3 Huh? P-O-E-T. Paul.

Speaker 3 Polt? P-O-L-T?

Speaker 7 P-O-P-O-U-L-T.

Speaker 3 Polt. Polt.

Speaker 3 Never heard of that in my life. We gotta check this guy's source.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, go ahead.
We couldn't get an American. Okay, which

Speaker 7 NFL team traditionally hosts an annual Thanksgiving Day game?

Speaker 3 The Washington Redskins skins.

Speaker 3 The Washington Redskins. Cowboys.

Speaker 3 I don't know any NFL team. Just throw one out there.
Make up a name.

Speaker 3 Give me a city, and then just do the city and make up a name.

Speaker 5 Red Washington.

Speaker 3 You can't do what he did. I just did that.

Speaker 3 What did you say? I said Washington, Red City. You can't say the same answer.
You can't say Red Washington.

Speaker 3 Blue, Nevada. Blue, Nevada.

Speaker 3 They were great. They were champions five years ago.
They were? Yeah, the Blue Nevadas.

Speaker 7 Blue Nevadas. This one goes to Andrew.

Speaker 3 Why? Dallas Cowboys. Yeah.
Is it Dallas? Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. So two for me, three for Rudy.
Zero for me. Zero for Bob, of course.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 7 what percentage of Americans eat turkey during Thanksgiving?

Speaker 3 Wow. You go first.

Speaker 3 Me? It's me first? Yeah. Um.

Speaker 3 78.

Speaker 3 I'll go. 90%.

Speaker 3 Um.

Speaker 2 95%.

Speaker 7 Okay, it's 88, so Bobby wins.

Speaker 3 Won. Wait, why did Bobby win?

Speaker 3 Andrew. I won.
I said 90%.

Speaker 3 And it's 88. 88.
Oh, it's 88. Yeah.
But he's over. You can't be over.

Speaker 3 No, that's whoever's closest. Every game show, you can't go over.
It's at the.

Speaker 3 This isn't at the price, it's right. Every game show, you can't go over.
This is right. That's like that.
You can't go over. No, no, I'm closest.
I get a fucking point. Fuck you.
Let's ask the judge.

Speaker 3 Yes, Bobby gets a fucking point. So I get a point.
So it's what? You have how many? Three? Three. Two.
Two. Three.
I have three. Two.

Speaker 3 One, three. One, two, three.
Yeah, yeah. Okay, go ahead.
Go ahead. Okay.

Speaker 3 I know I am answering the next one. Yes.
First. You are.
Okay.

Speaker 7 So, 102 passengers set

Speaker 7 sail on the Mayflower. How many arrive in America?

Speaker 3 Europe first. 101.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 Andrew?

Speaker 3 68.

Speaker 3 Okay, and Rudy?

Speaker 5 52.

Speaker 3 Wow.

Speaker 7 So Bobby wins. It's 102.

Speaker 3 Nobody died?

Speaker 3 Yes!

Speaker 3 I'm dying, fuck this! How did nobody die? I'm tied, fuck this. How did nobody die? It was a beautiful ship.
No, no, wait a second. It was a Trump-built ship.
Beautiful. Perfect.
Trump built it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I built the Mayflower when they came over here. Not only did nobody die, somebody was born.
Exactly. So we're...
That's true. Did you hear that? Yeah.
So go ahead. Was it 3-2-2, right? Yep.

Speaker 3 Ask a way out. I'm next.
Damn. No, you already were first that time.
Yeah, whoever wins gets the first answer. Fine.

Speaker 7 Who celebrates Thanksgiving on the second Monday of October?

Speaker 3 The second Monday of October.

Speaker 3 Canadians.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 Second Monday of October?

Speaker 3 Who celebrates Thanksgiving? You know what? No. Why'd you raise your hand?

Speaker 3 Because I want to go first. Go ahead.
Go ahead.

Speaker 3 Um, Jews.

Speaker 3 Well, that's the show.

Speaker 3 We're canceled.

Speaker 3 Well,

Speaker 3 Jews.

Speaker 3 Oh my god, Rudy. Who celebrates? Why would Jews?

Speaker 3 Where did that even come from?

Speaker 3 The second Monday of October. Who celebrates it? Funny answer, though.
Very funny. Who celebrates it? Second Monday of October.

Speaker 3 Native Americans.

Speaker 7 And Rudy wins again. Jews.

Speaker 3 No, no, no. Really?

Speaker 7 Canadians.

Speaker 3 Bobby. Bobby wins.
Do I really? Canadians? Yep. Fuck yeah.
Three. So three, two.

Speaker 3 Three, two, three, two.

Speaker 3 Here we go. Now it's on.

Speaker 7 Which character of friends?

Speaker 3 I don't know any of them.

Speaker 7 God, his or her head is stuck in a turkey.

Speaker 3 I'm first, though. I only know one name.
Joey.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Joey. Joey, we know.

Speaker 3 I'm first, so I get the answer. That's not fair.

Speaker 3 I'm first. I get the answer, and I answered it.
You don't go against the rules. That's not the rules.
All right? I'm first. We're supposed to rotate.
No, no, no. Whoever wins right gets first shot.

Speaker 3 You made that up. No, it's

Speaker 3 up. We all made the first.
Who said Joey first?

Speaker 7 It's

Speaker 7 Rudy's turn.

Speaker 3 No, no, who said Joey first, though? We all knew it's Joey. No, but who said it first? Rudy.
No, I said it first. Rudy.
We'll do a different question.

Speaker 3 I said Joey first. No, no, no.
Fuck you. Three, two, two.

Speaker 4 The judge said it was me.

Speaker 3 The judge did say it was was her.

Speaker 3 Respect the judge. Take away a point from him, judge.
No, you can't kick away from me. Three, two, two.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you did. No, no, three.
Yo, you yelled at him.

Speaker 3 Three, two, two. Fuck you, you already took two away from me.
Judge, judge. Judge, do not do it.
Do not do it. Judge.

Speaker 3 It's three,

Speaker 3 three, two. Thank you.
So three, so, oh, me and Rudy have three. You have two.
So you went down and I went up. You have two, Andrew.
I went up. Yeah, so three, three, two.
Different question.

Speaker 3 Go ahead. Okay.

Speaker 3 Which state raises the most turkeys?

Speaker 3 What state? What state raises the most turkey? Rudy.

Speaker 5 Arizona?

Speaker 3 Never seen a turkey there. A lot of turkeys in Arizona.

Speaker 3 They strive.

Speaker 3 All right. Who's thriving fucking James? Judge, judge, who's next? You.

Speaker 3 Nebraska.

Speaker 3 Kentucky.

Speaker 7 It's Minnesota.

Speaker 3 Fuck. Okay, no one.
I was gonna say Minnesota. Minnesota.
Why them? I don't know why, but

Speaker 3 cold, cold. I think they need cold.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 Nebraska is pretty close.

Speaker 3 I'm close.

Speaker 3 There's no close. You have to get it on on that one.
Okay. Is that who's over close? Sure.
Thank you, George. So it's 3-2-2 still.
Go ahead. Okay.
3-322. So, Bobby.

Speaker 7 Yeah. What is at snood?

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 3 What is at snood? S-N-O-O-D.

Speaker 3 S-N-O-O-D. Snood.

Speaker 3 And it's related to Thanksgiving? Yes.

Speaker 3 Do you say at snood, like the at symbol? No. Just what's snood?

Speaker 3 Is that your question? Yes.

Speaker 3 It's a sauce.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 Andrew? Snood is, uh...

Speaker 3 Snood is, um...

Speaker 3 Rudy, go ahead.

Speaker 3 Go ahead. Throw it out there.
I don't even know.

Speaker 4 Does it involve the turkey?

Speaker 3 You can't ask questions. Like Daddy, or your mind? Yeah, something.

Speaker 4 Okay, is it the.

Speaker 3 Oh, what did I?

Speaker 3 No, boy. Is it the thing on there? No, that's a gizzard.
That's a gizzard. No, the gizzard's down here.
Yeah, yeah. The snood is the test.
Maybe that's

Speaker 3 the testicles above the nose. Is that what you were asking? Yeah.
Snood? Okay, that's her answer. Mine is the thing above their head.

Speaker 7 Okay, Rudy Wins is the loose skin under a male turkey's neck.

Speaker 3 I didn't ask a question. Yeah, she asked.
That's unfair. You even said

Speaker 3 it's about the turkey. For us, you just said, yeah, it's about Thanksgiving.
4-3-2. That's fine.
That's not fine. It's unfair.
I know, but she's the judges have a.

Speaker 7 How many days did the first Thanksgiving last?

Speaker 3 Who's up first? Rudy.

Speaker 3 Um, five.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 Three.

Speaker 3 I have to say two.

Speaker 3 Okay, three.

Speaker 7 How do the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and the American Thanksgiving parade conclude?

Speaker 3 How does it end? Yep.

Speaker 3 Bobby?

Speaker 3 It ends with a Goodyear blimp at the end.

Speaker 3 It ends with Snoopy, I think.

Speaker 3 Okay, Rudy.

Speaker 5 Okay, I have two answers.

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 3 No. no,

Speaker 3 absolutely not. Absolutely not.
That's crazy.

Speaker 3 Um, fireworks.

Speaker 7 What is it with the arrival of Santa Claus?

Speaker 3 Fuck. What was the other answer you were going to say?

Speaker 5 A prayer.

Speaker 3 A prayer? Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's actually very the last car goes by and everyone just starts praying.

Speaker 3 The Pope.

Speaker 3 What else?

Speaker 7 How many women

Speaker 7 survive to celebrate the first Thanksgiving?

Speaker 3 How many women serve?

Speaker 3 In what disaster?

Speaker 7 Well, in the disaster of coming to America and then fighting the Native Americans and settle.

Speaker 3 How many women?

Speaker 3 It could be any, it could be a million to fucking ten.

Speaker 7 Now we just established that a hundred and two people came.

Speaker 3 So 102 people. Okay.

Speaker 7 So how many survived women?

Speaker 3 Andrew.

Speaker 3 I mean

Speaker 3 54

Speaker 3 Okay

Speaker 5 68

Speaker 3 30 only four

Speaker 3 what I yeah I win that one. No you don't yeah yeah because it's whoever gets closer That's not fair

Speaker 3 That's too far that does that's not too far

Speaker 3 I get it fuck you

Speaker 3 want a couple that way too I get it

Speaker 3 I get that!

Speaker 7 It was a terrible guess, but Bobby gets it.

Speaker 3 Thank you. 443.
4-4-3. God!

Speaker 7 What meat did the Native Americans bring to the first Thanksgiving?

Speaker 3 What did the Native Americans? What meat did they bring to the first Thanksgiving? Yes. What meat or didn't bring? No.
What meat did they bring to the first Thanksgiving? Who's up first? Rudy.

Speaker 3 To Bobby.

Speaker 3 Oh, okay, Bobby. Yeah, Bobby, you wish

Speaker 3 Buffalo.

Speaker 3 Rudy?

Speaker 3 Poultry.

Speaker 3 Poetry? Poultry.

Speaker 7 Oh.

Speaker 3 I thought I said poetry.

Speaker 7 It was bison, which is deer, so Bobby gets the win.

Speaker 3 Bison isn't deer? You mean venison? Venison, sorry. Venison is deer.
Venison.

Speaker 3 I don't think it counts. Yes, it does.
No, 100%.

Speaker 3 I won! Fuck you! Hey! I win the face giving fucking! No, don't be a sore winner. Don't be a bad.

Speaker 3 Thank you. Otherwise, throw that pie right in his face.
Thank you so much. Rudy, throw that pie right at him.
The first annual fucking Thanksgiving trivia.

Speaker 3 And I

Speaker 3 let me make a speech here.

Speaker 3 I really.

Speaker 3 All right, Bobby. You know what this is? What does that do? You have to break it, and

Speaker 3 whoever gets the bigger piece gets to make a wish, and it comes true. Okay.
Okay. So you grab just a little, just a little bottom.
The bottom, the bottom. Okay.
On the count of three, you pull.

Speaker 3 One, two, three.

Speaker 3 Well, I didn't.

Speaker 3 I didn't know that you were gonna. Well, it's supposed to break.
No, you can't. No, you don't do high up.
You have to go way down at the bottom. Yeah, babe, I'm gripping it, right?

Speaker 3 I've never done this before. Go ahead, one, two, three.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 3 It's only fair. Let me make a wish.

Speaker 3 Perfect.

Speaker 3 It worked!

Speaker 3 Happy Thanksgiving.

Speaker 3 Thank you for being a bad friend.