No Thanks Giving!

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You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and Asian dude.
You two are disgusting. You two are something.
We're bad friends. Happy Thanksgiving.
I hate it. Thanksgiving isn, Thanksgiving isn't my thing.
Hey, Thanksgiving, don't wobble, wobble with me. Don't wobble, wobble me.
Don't wobble me, man. I thought you came off a set or something.
Do I look good today? You look cute today, dude. Look clean.
Your face looks good. Do you have a lot of acne growing up? So annoying.

What?

What do you mean?

I've had these scars for years.

I just noticed them just now, so that's a good thing.

I just noticed them right now.

I like it.

It's cool.

It's your seal.

Well, it's even worse because right near it, I busted my face open right when I was a kid um happy Thanksgiving I know but can I just ask you about it real quick sure did you have a lot of acne just here growing up it was all concentrated to one part of my face okay that's all I wanted to ask yeah it's weird this was a boy it was a big boil are you being real no no are you angry I feel like you're right now. It's just an annoying way to start the show.
Happy Thanksgiving? Let's go to that. Happy Thanksgiving to you.
Because the vibe is annoying. Wobble, wobble, wobble.
Wow. Get me in a good mood.
You know what I mean? Dude, when you came in here, bro, right? I was like... Happy Thanksgiving from the bad friends.
That's it. We're done.
When you came in, right, I go, did you just step off set? Because that's how good you look. Why are you saying that? Are you being condescending? No, I swear to...
Did I not say that when you walked in? Well, first of all, you said there's good news to share, and then you said did you just come off shooting? And I said no. Right.
So then I'm like... I'm taking...
You know what it is? I'm doing a skin regimen at night is it really i'm doing it's great dude whatever you're doing i love you keep doing it thank you all right well happy thanksgiving happy thanksgiving to you man dude happy thanksgiving more to you than to me all right i'm dude i'm korean bro yeah we didn't celebrate the shit so i don't know much about it bro do you want to know do you want to learn well i know i know some things. What do you know?

Can I give you a gift?

I brought another gift.

I feel like I'm Santa on this show.

Santa Maria?

The boats, right?

Santa Maria.

The Santa Maria?

The boats has something to do with Plymouth Rock.

This is a gift for you.

Oh, shit.

What is it? In case...

Here, I'm going to throw it at you.

Heads up.

That's in case you get cold.

Uh-huh.

It's a blanket.

Yeah, I don't want it. Do you know about that? No, it's been washed.
I don't care. It's clean.
That's how the Indians died. That's how the Indians died.
No, it's not. Yeah, it is.
Oh, she loves it. Look at she, I got one.
I got one. It's a trick.
I got one. There's smallpox all over that.
Yeah, smallpox all over it. You idiot.
And you look like Pocahontas. So I don't know much about it.
So I know that it has to do with pilgrims and it has to do with Indians. Yeah.
And they tricked them. They tricked them.
They said, hey, let's have a dinner. And the Indians were like, wonderful.
Let's eat. Let's not make fun of them.
No, no, no. I'm doing that.
I know, but people are getting sensitive. Okay.
They go, let's do a different accent. For Yeah, yeah.
For the Native Americans? Do the Punjab Indian for that. The dot, dot, dot.
Do those Indians. The settlers came over.
Yeah. And they were like, we'd like to trade with you and we'd like to dine with you on this glorious day.
And the Native Americans were like, that sounds like a good idea. Why don't we sit down and have a meal? Yes.

Yes. And the Western European men were like, have these blankets to keep warm because it gets cold at night.
And inside they speckled smallpox. I get it.
Smallpox was COVID back then. Right.
Same thing. It was like skinnades.
Skates. Yeah, skates.
For was. For sure, yeah.
And the Native Americans were taken advantage of and their land was stolen. And that's why we eat pumpkin pie.
Right. It kind of all makes sense.
When you grew up in a family that doesn't know that history. Yeah.
And then November comes around. Yeah.
There's just a bunch of fucking confusion going on. It's panic? It's like, because they don't know how to do it so they my dad will go get chicken right but that kind of looks like a chicken i know still he would get chicken they would take white wonder bread bread and just crumple it up that's the stuffing that's close right and then he would use some sort of like korean like sauce like kimchi sauce i love kimchi and pour it over Yeah, goju jang, right? That's so good.
So good, right? And he put that on chicken and white bread? Yeah. That's pretty good.
He goes, Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving.
Right, and then we would eat it, and then the beatings would start. Right after you ate.
You would get drunk, and then the beatings would start. But if you ate turkeys.
And we would run around, And he would, he had to blow a bow and arrow. It was so scary.

Rana!

Rana!

Yeah.

It was so scary. You know what?

But if you add turkey, it has tryptophan in it.

You would sleep.

Which you're tired.

So then he could hit you to sleep.

Then if he hit you, you're already out.

Yeah.

Do you have Thanksgiving in the Philippines?

She doesn't know anything about it.

No.

What do you know about it that you've learned from school?

We've given such an inaccurate description for the fans.

That's not really what happened. What really happened on Thanksgiving was...
A joyous occasion. A joyous occasion, and nobody was taken advantage of.
Nobody was hurt. It was, you know what I mean? It was just homies kicking it.
Jules, what do you know about Thanksgiving? What do you know about it, really? I just know that there's always turkey. There's always pumpkin pie.
Yeah. And people just eat until they get fat.
Yeah. That's pretty much it.
Yeah, that's right of the nose. Yeah, yeah.
That's Thanksgiving. Now, what do you know? We're joking around about it, but what do you know about the history of how it was found, how it started? Do you know? Not really.

Well, you have to imagine.

I'm so confused.

Asians don't say bless you?

No, we don't.

Do Asian people not say bless you?

No, no, no.

Wait, why?

Especially when it's a COVID cough.

That was a sneeze.

Whatever it is.

Asians don't say bless you?

When we're scared, we don't.

Oh, you're scared? Yeah, yeah.

All right. We don't when we're scared.
Have you ever say bless you? When we're scared, we don't. Oh, you're scared? Yeah, yeah.
All right. We don't when we're scared.
Have you ever said bless you? It's not something that comes to mind, no. Why not? Somebody sneezes, what do you think? I just move on with my life.
Because when Asians sneeze, we wore the masks. Water choo!ew-a! Bro, do it in an Indian accent.

Water-chew-da!

There we go.

Doesn't seem as racist.

Wait a minute.

When you have a mask on...

We've always...

Asians sneeze all the time.

We sneeze as well.

Cute sneezes, though.

A-chew!

A-chew!

A-chew!

A-chew!

A-chew!

A-chew!

And then we giggle.

Yeah.

Right? And then we do a peace sign. Do you ever say bless you when somebody sneezes? In the Philippines, we never do it.
And then when I came here, it's really weird. That's what I'm saying.
We never did it growing up as well. Do you know why we do that? Do you know what the etymology of that is? I don't know what the etymology of it is, no.
Because your heart, your heart stops for a second. Like, you stop breathing.
Physically, your heart just stops for a second. And so people, religious, decided that you say, bless God, bless you.
God bless you to make sure you're okay. I assume many...
I've never seen anyone die. A guy did die.
Probably one guy in the history of the world have died. Sneezed himself to death.
But also a guy from the history of the world probably died from hopscotching. Well, a few men have died from hopscotching.
And no one says bless you when they hopscotch. Well, because that's your own risk.
Your hopscotching at your own risk. My point is that if it happened like a thousand times a year, then I guess the bless you would like, you know.
It's a courtesy. Okay.
Bless you. Thanks.
That's all you wanted? Kind of. Yeah, does it feel good? No.
You look so handsome today. Thank you.
You know, I'll tell you what happened. I'll tell you what it really was.
What is it? I received really good news, and we'd like to announce it on this show. Well, I received the same news, and I didn't think.
I received the good news, and I'd like to announce it. I didn't take it as good.
I didn't take it as good. Why didn't you take it as good? Horrifying at first.
The idea of that being a reality. The idea, yeah, yeah, of that.
But then it's like the Borg. What's the Borg? You don't know what the Borg is? The movie The Borg? No, there's no Borg.
You mean the tennis player? Is that what you're thinking of?

Bjorn Borg? Bjorn Borg. Isn't he

having a movie about him? The Borg is a race

of aliens.

Where is this at? It's the Star Trek universe.

Oh, I don't... I know you don't.

I don't do it.

Yeah, exactly.

Now, Star Trek is...

Star Trek is

Zulu. Spock and Zulu.
No, I don't know Zulu who Zulu is. Zulu? Wasn't Zulu? Oh, Zulu.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's an S? Yeah.
What guy was Zulu? The Japanese, the nip. The Asian guy was Zulu.
Yes. Is Zulu a Japanese name? Well, I guess in the future.
In space. In space it is.
I just assumed they wouldn't make it. Yeah.
Name away. In the original Star Trek characters, can you name them for me? Spock.
Bingo. Sulu.
Uh-huh. Mike.
There's no Mike. There's no Mike.
There's no Mike. It's not Mike? No, no, no.
Spock. Sulu.
What's the doctor's name? Scotty. Very good.
And what did he do on the ship? He beamed everybody up. Engineer.
Same thing. Exactly.
And then there was a woman named Carla? No. Give me a hint.
Uhura. Aurora? Yeah, Uhura.
Is that her name? Ahura? Ahura? Ahura.

These dorks would know. They would know.

So anyway, Borg from Star Trek.

James McCoy. James.
Bones.

Bones? Yeah. That's a great name.

That's great. So anyway, but

after this. What? And Kirk.

Yeah, James Kirk.

Captain Kirk. Captain James T.
Kirk.

James T. Kirk? Yeah.

What's the T for?

What is it? James. What is James T.
Kirk? Yeah. What's the T for? What is it?

James.

What is it?

Thomas Kirk, maybe.

Anyway, after the Star Trek, right, the first group,

there was another show that came along called Star Trek The Next Generation.

I've seen that one.

Okay, so name me the characters.

There's a black guy in that one.

Name me the characters.

There's one black guy in that one.

Name me the characters.

Well, the black guy's name is Jamal.

Close.

What is it?

Jordy.

Jordy.

Yeah.

His name is Jamal.

Jordy's short for Jamal.

No, it's not.

Yes, it is.

Jordy LaForge.

Yes, Jamal LaForge.

He was an engineer.

He was an engineer.

Right.

What else?

And there's a black woman, and there's an Asian guy.

There was no black woman.

Yeah, there was a black woman.

Well, yeah, there was.

Whoopi Goldberg played, yeah.

But she was like reoccurring on the show. So what? That a black woman.
Well, yeah, there was. Whoopi Goldberg played, yeah, but she was, like,

reoccurring on the show. So what? That works.

Fine. What's her name?

Guinan. Huh? Her name was Guinan.

Guinan? Yeah. That's a terrible name.

I know it is. I've never

really paid attention to these nerd shows.

They're not nerd shows. What are you fucking

saying shit like that for? How is that not a nerd show?

It's just a TV show that happens

to be in space. About nerd shit.
It's not

about nerd shit. It's about what, science is nerdy?

Captain. Captain.

We must progress. Unless the Borg

will then take us over. Anyway, there was a group

Dork shit.

Alright, there was a group. Anyway.

There was an alien

race in it called the Borg.

And were they evil? They were bad.

Okay. And what they do

was they would assimilate cultures.

Oh. Right? So they would see

I'm sorry. race in it called the Borg.
And were they evil? They were bad. Okay.
And what they do is they would assimilate cultures. Oh.
Right? So they would see a culture and they would just destroy them, capture them, and then make them the way they look, you know what I mean, and act the way they do. And they become a part of a collective.
They don't have their own identity, right? They have one thought. They're all connected.
But they steal people's identity. Well, they take people's individuality.
Individuality? Individuality. What'd I say? Individuality.
I know that's what I said. Let me say it again.
Individuality. Perfect.
Exactly. They would steal their individuality and what would happen is they would just assimilate and they would all just be one thing.

So when the good news happened, right,

I felt like there was some assimilation going on and that we would have more of these things on planet Earth.

But I thought he did mix it with gook blood,

so maybe something magical would happen.

So but here's the deal. Let.
Let the fans know, George's wife is pregnant. She's Korean.
And she's Korean. And George, you guys know what he looks like.
And acts like. So, that plus Korean.
Equals. Equals what? A Borg? No.
No, no. I just felt like if George, let's suppose he had a wife.
He does. I know, but a wife that was like white and from the country.
A good old fashioned white wife. Yeah, white wife, you know.
And her name is Darla. Darla and she...
I just love you, George. Yeah, yeah.
I just want to beg for you and clean the house. And then...
She's always sweeping. And then they had a baby together that they would create more Georges.
Yeah. But I think he threw in a wrench in the process and it might turn out a little different, like a skater kid or something.
Well, here's the deal. George said – George is having a baby.
George is having a baby and we're kind of happy for him. Are we happy, Rude? Yeah.
But he waited three months to tell us. Well, yeah, you're supposed to.
Why? because I think that there's a high level of baby

death Yeah. But he waited three months to tell us.
Well, yeah, you're supposed to. Why?

Because I think that there's a high level of baby deaths before then.

But it's not that.

That's not why.

Yeah, it is.

But that's not what he did.

Well, you're supposed to wait 10 weeks to tell people because a lot of times there's miscarriages.

Right, George?

Isn't that why?

Yeah.

But that's not what he did.

Why do you think he did it? Because he wanted to do the fucking Downs test.

Oh. To make sure it didn't have it.
Yeah. And so the reason why he waited, why? Why he didn't tell us before the Downs test is if it did have some sort of...
Down syndrome. Abnormality.
Sure. He was going to...
He was going to... He He's gonna circumcise it.

No.

I get it.

You know, I was circumcised. No, no, no, just...

How about this?

This is better.

What is that?

He's gonna take it out to eat?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You know?

I don't know.

Yeah. Vacuum? He's going to vacuum? I don't know.
But anyway, we're happy that George is having a kid. It's a boy, by the way.
Oh, it is? We get to name it. Isn't that the fact? That's, in fact, the truth.
So all the fans, I want you guys to comment, and the most common name, George will be forced to name the kid.

And think about this.

Think about how detrimental it would be if George doesn't name the kid what we want.

Yeah.

He gets fired from this show.

He gets fired from Belly. Tiger Belly, yeah.

He actually loses his company.

Yeah.

Because Bryce, his partner, which, sketchy, skeptical.

It could be Bryce's baby.

It could be.

Oh, scandal. The controversy.
Scandal. Oh, it could be.
Could it, George? No. I don't know.
He's tall. Do you have names picked out, George? Let me guess.
There's a dispute. Let me guess.
You're, okay, just looking at you. Malachi is one.
That's my cousin's's name Anyone from Children of the Corn

Jebediah

Nathaniel

Any of those?

He's hard right now

He's coming out of his dick

George looks like a farm kid

And his kid is going to look like

A little half Korean farm boy

Yeah but see here's the thing When you mix in Asian though When white and Asian mix what going to look like a little half Korean farm boy.

Yeah, but see, here's the thing.

When you mix in Asian, though.

When white and Asian mix, what do they look like? Anything can happen.

I've seen disasters happen.

Steve Byrne is Irish.

That could happen as well.

He's a handsome dude.

It could turn out to be very handsome.

Yeah, he's handsome.

Yeah.

Who's the other side of the spectrum?

I don't want to name any names. Here it comes.
Just for fun. I honestly don't know them because I refuse to meet them when I see them.
I'll see them at the show. I'll do a comedy show.
And I'll see a mixed kid, right? Yeah. And the mix went the other way, right?

And I might go from afar like – you know what I mean?

But I won't shake the hand.

Who is it?

I don't know anybody personally.

Yeah.

But I think you do.

Do I know a half-Asian kid?

No, there's that kid – what's that stand-up comedy?

His name is Tataki. KT Tatara.
That that's him katie tataki um he's handsome he is yeah yeah he is but here's what it can go wrong elliot rogers you know elliot rogers is you know that is yeah yeah they come out weird yeah like one eye is high not only that it's just the mixtures of the bad races maybe. Like maybe Elliot Rogers had like the fucking kamikaze Asian blood.
And then also the Jeffrey Dahmer Asian blood and white blood. You mix them together and then you'll shoot up people in Santa Barbara.
Right. Or Ojai.
Ojai. Anywhere up there.
Yeah, yeah. Anywhere mountain town-y.
But usually they turn out to be very handsome. They can.
Yeah. George, we'll see.
Honestly, it's a 50-50 with George because you never know. He's got some qualities that I go, oh, he's not bad.
And then he's got other qualities where I go, very bad. Very bad.
Absolutely very bad. Very bad.
Will you babysit, Jules? Will you babysit?

I'm not good with kids.

Right.

Like, why would I even?

I knew that.

Well, I mean, she has younger siblings on her.

You know, she has a younger sibling.

I'm not going to name their names, right?

But I feel like there is a, do you miss them?

I always go, do you miss them?

He's like, no, not really.

Why aren't you good with kids?

You don't like kids at all?

No.

Wow.

Do you ever? Oh, my God. I know.
You don't like little babies? You don't think they're cute? Yeah, they're not cute. So do you never want to be...
Do you think one day you might think you might want to be a mom or never? Never. Never.
Never. Why? I hope she sticks to that.
Maybe not, she won't be. You never know.
But she could be like Kalilah and Coinda, her sister. Plenty of women decide very young that they don't want to be a mother.
Yeah, Kalilah just, I've been asking her for fucking 12 hours a day, every day. You know what I mean? Now that George beat me to it, it hurts.
It's like I've been asking her, I go, can we have a baby? And she's like, not with you. Because she'd have to have sex with you.
No, she has sex with me. Nope.
Yeah, she just doesn't let me. No, no, no, no, no.
She just doesn't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Nobody wants to think that through. Everybody thinks that's gross as shit.
She doesn't want me to unload it inside her. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Hey. You know what I mean? So you think, do you think in 10 years, when I ask you in 10 years when you're almost 30, you'll still say no?

Yeah.

I don't think so.

Maybe you're not.

What is it?

Why do you think you feel that way?

I just hate them.

No, no, no.

But your mom had five.

That's why I hate them. That's why she hates them.

Didn't your mom have five?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Five.

Five.

Yeah.

Five of them. That reminds me.
I watched a documentary about yesterday about the great barrier reef about the green sea turtles they swim there are other documentaries they swim all the way to this place called rain island and and these big turtles and they they poop out they they had a close-up of the sack of the the birth sack and they were pooping out these little eggs and she has she has 20 of them, 20 kids. And then the turtles have to go back to the ocean, and their flippers are so heavy.
Their bodies are so heavy, it takes them forever, and there's a traffic jam. There's too many.
So what happens? Some of them think they're going to take a shortcut, and then there's jagged rocks, and they just fall down the jagged rocks. And they end up on their back.
I mean, they show one just crack its head. And its flippers are keeping it.
It's like, yeah. And the other ones are like, you see? You should have waited.
And it reminded me of when, you know when there's two lanes and you're driving, and everyone's in the one lane because you know it merges into one. And there's guys that are going up the right-hand side because they want to sneak in.
You know those people? Yeah. I hate those fucking people.
I'm one of those. I hate you.
Okay. You are the turtle that falls off the rock thinking he's going to get ahead.
Let me ask you this. And we're all waiting and going, see, you just got to wait.
That's it. Are you one of those, right? Let's say you're in a lane, right? And this car desperately wants to go into your lane.
She's blinking. Maybe she's like that.
She's going like this? Yeah, can I get in? Right? What do you do? Do you do what I do? And go like... Window up.
Yeah, yeah. I do this move.
I'll look. You be the lady.
Okay. Can I get in? And I just go for it.
Straight ahead? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I ignore straight ahead yeah i ignore yeah i ignore i ignore have you ever let them in no yeah me either never i ignore them the same way i ignore you know when you get to a an off ramp on a freeway and there's a homeless guy there with a sign and he stares right at you so you're you're the homeless guy and wave to me like you're trying to get my attention ready go ahead hey hey I've done that too

I've done that too

hey

right homeless guy and wave to me like you're trying to get my attention. Ready? Go ahead.
Hey. Hey.
I've done that too. I've done that too.
Hey. Right, right.
Nope. Gone.
What I'd like to do is I like to count my money. I do.
They go, hey, and I just, Windows rolled up, I just count my money. One second.
And then I Yeah, yeah. And then I just drive through.
Yeah. Or here's another thing.
I'll take a Starbucks napkin that's just laying around the car. Yeah.
And I'll roll it. I'll just throw it out the window.
And they get really excited. God damn it.
A hundred. And then they look it up.
It's just a Starbucks. They don't like it.
That's so mean. Yeah, I know, but I do like it.
Sometimes. What do you do? What do you do? Sometimes I, sometimes I'll, a homeless guy will come on.
Oh, yeah. Do you have any change? Yeah.
And I usually, I keep a cup, a big cup of change in my center console. Yeah.
And I roll in the window and go, come here. And I let them get close.
And I hit them in the face with all the change. Yeah, yeah.
You know what scam I don't like? Rudy, Rudy, we're kidding. We don't do this.
We don't do that. You know what scam I don't like? What? And it gets me every fucking time.
I ran out of gas. No.
Oh, which one? It's when you go to a 7-Eleven. Mm-hmm.
And, you know, you have the homeless people that want to do a job for your fucking dollar. Like what? Like what? Like open the door for you.
Oh, yeah. You know? No.
And then when they open the door, you're just like, and then when I leave, I have to give them the money. Yeah, you don't have a choice.
You don't have a choice. They did a job.
In Chicago, I don't know if they don't do this out here. I've never seen this.
In a lot of metropolitan cities, not Los Angeles, they'll take Windex and newspaper and wash your window. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They don't do that out here for some reason. But in Chicago, they'll do it and you got to go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't, don't, don't. I don't want it.
And they'll do it. And then they no no no no no no don't don't don't I don't want it and they'll do it and then they're like no no no real quick and you're like fuck and then you have to give them money so you know what my thing is I like giving homeless people all jokes aside I do give money to the homeless I usually give the most money to people that are like doing a thing if you're begging I'll give you give you money.
Okay? You're begging, I'll give you a dollar. You need money.
Okay, fine. People that like in New York, especially, singing, piano, drum, the kids that play the fucking drums, I'll give those kids 20 bucks.
Right. Because I think that's incredible.
They're working hard. They're lugging that shit around town.
Just sitting and going, please help. It's like, okay, fine.
yeah. But the kids that make something and try to do something to make money,

I always give them more money.

Yeah.

Because I think that's, you know, they're trying to make money.

Yeah.

I don't like when homeless people ask for a specific dollar amount.

Can I have $3.86?

Yeah, I need $19.95.

And you're like, um.

You know what I mean?

Then you think they have a specific thing they want to buy.

Yeah, crack. Yeah, crack.
Right. Yeah, they have a crack counter and they go, I've got $12.88.
I need another $7.65 to get the crack rock I need. You know what I always thought? Yeah.
When a crack addict asks for money, right? Imagine instead of giving them money, you give them crack. You give them crack.
You know how happy they would be? So fun. Like half their work is done.
What if that guy, what if that day the crack addict was finally quitting crack? He was like, all I need is a hundred dollars. I can get this, this hotel rented for the night.
Right. I'm going to clean up.
I'm going to shave. I got myself a suit.
I'm going to go tomorrow morning, get a job. Yeah.
And he's like, it's all I need is a couple of bucks give him a huge crack rock yeah and then they die bob no no no they don't die it's just you know they go back in a crack they keep going i always give to the homeless you know my mom used to do they really there was there's a thing called streetwise in chicago it's a newspaper the chicago tribune this is why i like it it's work ethic for homeless people that are like they want to do something to give them purpose as well as make money. So they go to the Tribune in the morning.
They get a stack, and they pay a dollar for them, and they sell them for two. So they keep a buck.
And my mom bought one every day when I was a kid. I always saw – whenever there was a guy selling streetwise, she'd buy it.
And it's comprised by people from the homeless community that have contributed stories and stuff over time. Anyway, my mom always bought a Streetwise.
And she was like, they had to get up. They had to go all the way to the Tribune.
They had to have capital to pay for it, right? And then make a profit. So that's entrepreneurs, man.
In L.A., we've got the worst homeless problem I've ever seen in my entire life I can't even It breaks my heart It's gotten so bad Honestly It's so bad now They had to put porta potties All over under the freeway Because they were pooping in the street There was poop under the bridge I lived on Beachwood right So you know that bridge on like gower gower yeah it's a bridge yeah it's now a city i know it's an underground dystopian city i know they're putting a homeless ralph's on it they're doing right yeah they still have a starbucks but um that's the reason why we moved yeah because it's crazy over there every time i would drive by it i'd be like it. Yeah.
And I have empathy and sympathy for that. Of course, we're kidding around when we joke around.
We're kidding around when we say it, right? But get a fucking job. I'm kidding.
I'm kidding. No, but it got to the point where you would walk out of the house and people would be like, yeah, my car just got broken into.
But it would happen every day. Yeah.
Something would happen every day. In your neighborhood.
In my neighborhood. And that's a nice neighborhood.
It used to be. I'm saying just right up that speech would, though? Oh, yeah.
You go up further up there, it's like Brad Pitt. All these people live up there.
But right there on Franklin and Gower and that area, it's turning into a fucking dystopian disaster. Because it's all the stuff, it's all the homeless from Hollywood, they go up there because it's safer and nicer up there.
They don't want to be in the street at night where they can get, you know. Look, dude, you have to think.
If you're homeless, you're worried about other homeless people who are going to steal your shit, right? Fuck with you, try to rob you, hurt you. So you just want to get away from that shit too.
So you've got to go up more where there's, you know, that you feel safer at. Dude, honestly, it's gotten so sad and bad in L.A.
It's like a little too much. Well, here's the problem.
What do you do? I'm going to give you the political problem. They tried to create this thing called, like, something key.
There was a program where unused hotels because of COVID, they got a grant from the government to put homeless people in these hotel rooms to try to give them a better start back. There are shelters downtown.
They try. But they found out that that hotel thing, they were taking a bunch of fucking money.
Who was? The hotels. These hotel investors were stealing money.
They were getting huge grants from the government, like PPP loans. And they wouldn't do it? They wouldn't put homeless people in there? They would only do a certain percentage.

And then some of them outright stopped.

So they're going to get sued, you know?

It's so funny.

You only hear about this stuff way after it's over, but they can't do shit about it.

Do you know what the Woolsey fires are?

Mm-mm.

The fires that were up north earlier.

Remember the big fires that we had this summer?

Mm-mm.

We burn every year, Bob.

Okay, I believe you. All right, so there were these things called the Woolsey fires.
If you say so. There was.
People lose their homes, people die, it's crazy right, in California. Yeah, I know, I see it.
I saw this thing about the Woolsey fires, SoCal Edison, our electric company, they're getting sued because they finally did all the research and found out investigating it was their fault

that the fires, you know every year they blame it on

someone smoking or

it was the fucking electric company

had a faulty tower

and they did it, yeah it was their fault

so they're getting sued now

but this is the problem, you hear about it

it's too late, it's over

and then you see a movie

someone will write a movie about it

yeah, Aaron Brockovich

Thank you. But this is the problem.
You hear about it. It's too late.
It's over. And then you see a movie like someone will write a movie about it.
Yeah. Right? Like Aaron Brockovich.
It's too late. And then 30 years later, we watch it and go, I can't believe that happened.
Yeah. It's over.
What a controversy. I want to do something about it.
Yeah. Well, they're all dead.
Yeah. They always make movies like that.
What's his name? Ruffalo has a new movie like that, something about water.

I saw it.

It's all the same.

About water?

What's it called?

Dark Water.

Is it about water?

Dark Water.

Dark Water.

Yeah, but he's in it.

What's it about, Andres?

Yeah, he's in it.

Yeah, I saw it.

I swear to God, I just... The reason why I don't...

Because these kind of movies come out every year,

so I don't know what the problem is.

It is about a lawyer.

All right, that's it.

That's it.

That's fine.

That's enough.

It's about a lawyer who will be.

Start again.

It's about a lawyer who used to defend chemical companies.

Until a neighbor of his mother tells him, look, because of these companies, my land is completely poisoned. My cattle is...
dying. Right, right.
That's a movie. That's his pitch.
We love it. You know what? That kind of sounds like we talked about this.
The Devil We Know. What? You didn't see that documentary? I thought we talked about that.
That's the most sad shit on Earth. Remind me because I see so many documentaries.
I think we talked about it on this show one time. The Devil We Know is about Teflon.
About Teflon. And about how 3M created Teflon.
And the people on these farms, they found that the cows' tongues would fall out of their fucking heads. Yeah, I saw it.
Dude. Crazy.

Teflon is in everyone's blood around the world up until soldiers from the Korean War. That's how far back.
Teflon is in your blood. I remember that documentary.
Because it was on pans. It was jackets, shirts, hats, coat.
Everything you own had Teflon on it. That's kind of the same thing.
That's the Andreas, the same thing thing by the way speaking of great television my tv show davy got uh a nomination for goth of a gotham award it did congratulations i know i don't even know what that was i heard about it today what is a gotham i don't know yeah yeah i just heard it and i said awesome yeah and then and then i didn't research what it is Maybe Maybe Bruce Wayne gives the award or whatever. Batman gives it.

What is it?

Is it a New York award?

No, I have no idea.

I just thought Batman would give it that award or something.

Yeah, I just did the Bruce Wayne joke.

I did the Bruce Wayne joke and then you did the fucking Batman joke after that?

Hey, hey, hey.

Two different jokes.

It's the same guy, though.

It's not the same guy.

Bruce Wayne and Batman are two completely separate entities.

I know, but they're the same human doing both roles.

Incorrect.

Who the fuck is fucking Batman, then?

Exactly.

I get what you're doing.

Who is Batman?

So next time, dude, just listen to me first.

You don't listen to me.

Who said that?

Did I say Bruce Wayne first?

You did.

You did.

Thank you.

Yeah, you had the joke first.

Thank you.

He's trying to step on your jokes lately. I know he is.
What do you think that is? There is a thing because when I even came in here, you know what I mean? He gives you like a lot of warmth. He's warm with me.
With me, he's very cold prickly. I'm like, what's up? He's like, I did it.
I did it. Yeah.
You know what I mean? It took me forever. It took me forever.
With you, it's like, welcome. Welcome, Andrew.
Because maybe it's because I thank him often. Thank you.
Andreas. Andreas.
I appreciate it. I'll tell you why I don't like Thanksgiving.
I have to tell the story. Is I've never had a really good Thanksgiving meal.
Yeah. Every time time i get invited i'm always invited to thanksgiving meals like especially when i've been i've been in la like hours into the meal it's already over yeah they'll call me and go hey i don't know what you're doing but we just thought of you yeah we're doing this thing so one time paulie goes this is years ago paulie goes i swear, he goes, my brother and I were like playing FIFA.
We're like at my brother's house playing FIFA. Yeah.
And I was like, let's see what restaurants are open. I was going to just buy my brother a meal or whatever.
And Pauly goes, dude, the family's here, brah. I go, yeah? My mom's here, dude, and she's asking about you, brah.
And I go, yeah, but I – he's like, dude, you got to come. My mom's asking.
You know, this is when Mitzi was – My dad died. Oh, that's when that comes out? Yeah, my dad's dead.
Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you my dad died. Oh, no.
I got to go. Yeah, but you would think that you would open with that fucking excuse.
No, save it. Save the dad died.

I got to get out of here.

My dad's dead.

Yeah, yeah.

And they're like, oh, wow. Dad died.

Dad died.

Next time's...

You can use dad died stuff.

You know you can use that for a lot of stuff.

And it's also not a lie now.

It's real.

Yeah, I can get...

My dad died.

Check it out.

And then later, like, you died dead a year ago.

Yeah, but he died.

He's still dead.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Asshole.

How about this?

Homeless guy? Hey, man, do you have any change? Hey, bud, but he died. He's still dead.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Asshole.
How about this? Homeless guy?

Hey, man, do you have any change?

Hey, bud, my dad died.

Make him feel bad.

That's a good one.

Right?

Yeah.

Hey, Starbucks, you know, or like at a restaurant when they see you and the tip and the tip thing,

you know, you know, they can see on the computer the percentage.

Yeah.

And it starts at 15, 18, 20.

Yeah.

You know, and you know tip.

And they look at you and they go, whoa.

And you go, my dad died.

What if the homeless person, they always have a story.

Right.

That's what I thought you were going to say before.

When you say they usually come up to you and they say at a gas station, they go, hey, I just need six bucks for gas.

Right.

To get home to the, and it's not true.

But even sometimes it's even an awful story.

Like what?

I was in the NOM.

Oh, yeah. I was in NOM.

And I had a wife

and two babies.

And I drank

a lot because of NOM, because of the PTSD.

Oh, man, I'm sorry.

Yeah, and one night,

the house was on fire. Did you set

the house on fire? I don't know what happened,

man. Was it SoCal Edison? You weren't there,

man! Right, they always say that.

They always say you

weren't there. This is terrible.

And it... at the house on fire? I don't know what happened, man.
Was it SoCal Edison? You weren't there, man. Right, they always say that.
They always say you weren't there. This is terrible.
This is so mean. I know, but I want you to fucking say my dad died at the end of this.
I know, don't ruin it. Sir.
I turned to me. Who set your house? Your house was set on fire.
I don't know, man. And I had my baby's carcasses Oh no Yeah I was holding them But they were burnt Like bacon That's terrible Anyway after that man The government Shut down my funds Man I had the insurance Right Anyway Now Three years later man I just need a hot dog I need a hot dog man I'm hungry man Yeah I don't drink anymore I just need a hot dog.
I need a hot dog, man. I'm hungry, man.
I don't drink anymore. I just need a hot dog, man.
Hey, hey, hey. My dad died.
I would have given him a hot dog. There we go.
So in that situation, you don't do the diet that thing. But let's go back to what we were talking about for real.
I hate Thanksgiving food. I've talked about it before.
I've always hated it. Oh, guys, guys, talking about Thanksgiving food, like, we brought you guys some- Howdy-doody fucking bullshit here, man.
Guys, guys. Guys, guys.
Yeah, interrupt fucking- Comedy gold here, bud. Speaking of Thanksgiving food.
I know. We're in the midst of it, bud.
Well, tell me, Andres, what is it?

Now that you interrupted, tell us.

George and I brought you guys a pie, but Jules got you some really authentic Thanksgiving food.

What do you have?

What do you have?

You'll love it.

Well, tell us what.

It's a Filipino food.

It's a Filipino convention Yeah

If it's Balut

I'm walking out

Is it Balut?

Yeah

Let's try

You have to try

We have to try

No way

You have to try

Let's try

I'm gagging right now

I never had it

I won't do it

Can we open it?

No

I'll open it

No

Will you look?

Honestly?

Don't be a

You know what dude?

You can't just try

You're a fucking

You're a white piece of shit

You're fucking

I'm not gonna eat it, but. That's so fucking rude.
It's my people, dude. Okay, bring the balut.
I'm not going to eat it. Yeah.
Nope. Oh, my God.
All right, so... Put it there.
Where do you get the balut? Put it there. I'm not going to touch it.
You don't get this at Vons. Where do you get this at? Where did you get it? Vons.
I ordered it. The Vons from the Philippines.
Oh, so you just break this open? Get him over a napkin. Oh, yeah.
Give me a napkin because I've never had this before. Don't be a dick, dude.
No, no, no. I'm not being a dick.
Just open your heart. I'm going to take my jacket off because I'm sweating for some reason.
Oh, God. I'm scared.
I've never done this before. All right.
So for people that remember, Balut is a Filipino. We talked about it last.
Yeah, yeah. Give me the napkin, right? So you just crack open the top? Yeah.
Okay. Alright, so let me put this back on.
Let me crack open the top. Oh, don't.
Oh my god. It's so hard, it won't crack.

It won't crack.

You can do it on the...

Crush it like this?

Slowly.

Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck, this fucking cracked.

Okay, that's fine.

Okay.

Do it in the middle.

Yeah, you have to drink the juice. Okay, I'll just tell you what it is This is like the movie Aliens Remember the movie Aliens? First of all, smell it Smell it Smell it Bro Give me the garbage can, I'm gonna throw throw up.
Honestly, honestly. Oh, my God.

Honestly.

Honestly.

I'm going to throw up.

Honestly.

And I had good ramen.

I had ramen that I liked for dinner.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

All right.

All right.

So.

You don't want me to do this.

There's juice all over the place.

There's blue juice.

Just try the juice.

I'm going to throw up.

All right.

I'm going to throw up.

Oh, my God. I'm gonna throw up oh my god I gotta get out of here I have to get out of here I'm gonna throw up honestly that's so fucking gross alright so fuck alright so I'm gonna throw up.
What is this part? I can't see. Oh, God.
What is that part? That's the... I think the foot? That's the foot.
Oh, the foot. Oh, my God.
That's the foot. Let's try this yellow.
What is the yellow, though?

I have to know the body part.

I don't want to look at this fucking asshole.

It's the yolk part?

Yeah.

All right, how about this, Andrew?

This is my nightmare.

I'll eat a little bit of this.

You eat a little.

No.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I almost threw up now. I don't care.

I'm going to try.

I'm going to throw up.

Oh, God.

It's good. Oh, God.
It's so fucking gross. Oh, God.
Get the fuck out of here. Get it out.
Now try it. No.
Get it out. Let's open the whole thing now.
I don't think there's

any duck there.

I'm going to throw up. Look at this part.

Oh, there it is. Oh, my

God.

I'm going to throw up.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, there's no face.

Where's the face at?

Oh, my God. Where did you get this?

Vons. This is at Vons? Oh, is that the face at? Oh my god, where did you get this? Von This is at Von's? Oh, is that the face? Oh my god Yeah You should be ashamed This is what I get for joking about Thanksgiving earlier Yeah, because I have fucking, just fucking, duck juice on my fucking...

Drench this table, George.

It's so not good.

Oh my God, in bleach.

Yeah, where's the salad?

Do you have sauce?

Yeah, you forgot?

All right.

My God, is this the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life.

I know.

I mean, I'm not even kidding.

No, get it away!

Eat it.

Get it away!

Fucking eat it.

Fuck.

Eat it. Dude, get it away.
Get it away.

Dude.

George, get this the fuck away.

Oh my God.

Please.

Are you going to eat this?

Can you eat that? No, you're not going to eat that. No, she'll she'll eat that one Don't eat that There's the new one Don't eat it Here Here's the trash can Oh my god I'll be right back If you had ranch Are you being real? No I need to wash my hands Yeah yeah me too Cause I fucking coughed into my hands Me You did.
Oh, my fucking God. Rudy, how...
How much is a blued egg? One dollar... No.
Twenty-five cents. Twenty-five cents? That's what a little bird's life is worth.
Twenty-five cents. Yeah.
Rocks are more expensive. By far.
Yeah. You know what's so funny? For people that didn't see the other episode, we talked about Balut.
It's a baby duck that they eat in the Philippines, and they just—what do you got? Salt? Salt. Oh, my God.
Are you really going to eat it? Yeah. Yeah.
How do you know if it's not rotten? I mean, it smells rotten. Is it rotten?

I'll try.

I don't think so.

Oh, you try first and then your stomach hurts and then you stop?

What the fuck?

The Philippines.

What kind of system is that?

I just, I can't.

And do you eat it in one whole bite?

Everything?

No.

Do you eat that? Oh, it's good. It's good? Yeah.
Oh, God. Look, I respect the culture.
No, you don't. No, I do.
No, you don't. And you know what I want to say? What? I'm sorry to the Native Americans for what they did.
What? Yes. Why'm getting reflective yeah yeah we're so sorry because what what Western Europeans did to the Native Americans is disgusting and it's not funny and it's gross and this is giving me perspective let me ask you something I don't know why but really this, it's like...
In the last of the Mohicans... Yeah.

Do you think that if Indians found a white baby, they would raise it as their own?

They'd kill it.

Exactly.

They would smoke it.

They would have killed it.

They would have smoked it.

They would have killed it.

Yeah.

Right away.

Chief, I found a white baby.

What did the chip say?

Throw it off the cliff.

Exactly.

Yeah.

So when I'm watching last of the Mohicans, I'm like, I don't believe this.

It's not real.

It's not real.

Well, they're trying to say that what is – What did the chip would say? Throw it off the cliff. Exactly.
Yeah. So when I'm watching Last of the Mohicans, I'm like, I don't believe this.

It's not real.

It's not real.

Well, they're trying to say that – what it's trying to do is show that Native Americans are compassionate, good-hearted people.

Oh, that's what they're doing.

And the whites weren't.

That's the truth.

Yeah.

The whites came and they were like – It's not a bit.

She likes it. It's not a bit.
How much have you eaten? She's halfway through. Oh, God.
I'm just going to have one more bite and then I'm done. God, you can hear it's a crunch.
You can hear the shell crack. Is that cornflakes? What are you crunching it for? Oh, my God.
I honestly almost threw up.

Yeah.

It hurt my inside.

And you know what I was bummed about?

We made homemade ramen tonight.

And I was like, I don't want to throw up.

It was good ramen.

But if that egg was pussy, you would eat it.

I mean, the scale of how different that is in the reality.

No, think about it, though.

Think about it.

You're like a young, early 20s.

You see a hot chick. I'm not now.
I know, but let's see you are. Oh, when I was? When you were in your early 20s like I was, right? Yeah.
And a hot chick – you're at a bar. A hot chick wants to get down, right? Yeah.
And then you're hooking up and you're eating your vagina or whatever. And it looked and tasted like that, you would still do it.
It never looks like that. I know, but you would do it, though, if it did.
You're right. Exactly.
Yeah. All right, hey.
Let's talk about Jesus. We need to talk about Thanksgiving is the worst food on planet Earth.
I hate it. Turkey's gross.
It's an ugly bird and it tastes bad. Stuffing.
Not that good. Cranberry sauce.
Not that good. I like cranberry sauce.
It's fine. It's fine.
Stuffing, it's fine. Green bean casserole.
Fine. Never had it? The only thing I love.
Hawaiian rolls. What? There's Hawaiian rolls when it comes to Thanksgiving? Hawaiian rolls.
Everybody has Hawaiian rolls. No, that's not a part of the culture.
Your family probably did that. Everybody.
Didn't you guys do Hawaiian rolls? Yep. Yes.
What does Hawaii, baked bread from Hawaii, have anything to do with fucking— Sweet rolls. Hawaiian sweet rolls.
I know, but that's still not... Wasn't like a hundred years ago.

Yes, they did. Really? People been doing...
Oh, you mean when settlers...

Just call them sweet rolls then.

From Hawaii.

Everybody knows they're

Hawaiian sweet rolls.

I just want to get what you're saying.

Is that Thanksgiving's been around for hundreds

of years in this country. How many?

I don't know, maybe 200 years.

Okay.

What?

Go on.

You think it's wrong?

Yes.

Go on.

What do you want to know?

Hawaiian sweet rolls have been around since the beginning.

I'm sure Hawaii was like the last states, right?

Alaska, Hawaii.

That's too.

49, 50.

Right.

Right?

So it's like before that when we were 13 states, right?

Yeah.

Colonies.

They didn't even know about fucking Hawaii.

And they had probably Thanksgiving back then.

They had sweet rolls.

They were just from one of the colonies.

Okay.

When you just say Hawaii, that's all I want to know.

It just sounded weird, but I guess you're right.

That's what they're called.

Andres, do they have Thanksgiving in wherever you're from?

No.

Spain?

We didn't have to meet any pilgrims.

Right.

You guys were there first.

Yeah.

Okay, so we have – Andres has prepared something for us.

Oh, I think so. Spain? We didn't have to meet any pilgrims.
Right, you guys were there first.

Yeah. Okay, so we have Andres has prepared something for us, so

I don't know what it is, but

go ahead. Okay, so

since you guys know so much

about Thanksgiving, I thought

about a game. Let's do

some Thanksgiving trivia.

Whoever gets three answers right wins. Competition.
See, now you'll perk up. When there's a competition, he's in.
All right, let's go. Go ahead.
Rudy is a part of this too. Okay, great.
What do we win? You guys can get that turkey that is between the two of you. This one? Yeah.
Okay. Take it home.
I always like that guy. That's huge.
Yeah, it's huge. Okay.
Okay. So, when was the first Thanksgiving, Bobby? The very first one? Yeah.
Whoever gets it right, closest? Yes, the closest. 18 47.
Uh,

17...

Well, 1776 was the declaration,

so let's say, uh,

let's say, uh,

1788.

Rudy?

Rudy?

Um, 17 82 She just Price is right at me I know whatever's lower Yeah You guys were so so good The first Thanksgiving was in 1621 She won? Yeah, she Price right at me. So now you have to go first.

She gets to go first.

Right.

So, Rudy, how fast can a turkey fly?

Um... How fast can a turkey fly?

10 miles per hour.

Okay. Then who goes next, Bobby or me? hour.
Okay.

Then who goes next, Bobby or me?

Bobby.

Bobby.

I'll say 5 miles per hour.

And I will say it's a trick question.

Turkeys can't fly.

Okay, so Rudy wins again at 55 miles per hour.

Turkeys can't fly.

They can fly.

55 miles per hour.

They're land birds.

They can't fly.

Well, maybe in Spain.

I'm a turkey.

I like to fly.

I'm a pass.

Watch me fly.

Damn it.

Rudy's won twice.

I know.

It's incredible.

How many questions are total?

Five.

Whoever gets three wins.

No.

Go, go, go. No, five.
Five, five, five. How many questions do you have? I have plenty.
Okay, good. Which president made Thanksgiving a national holiday? Oh, fuck.
Damn it. I only know five.
I only know five presidents. Who's up first? You.
You are. I am.
I'm going to. Who made it a national holiday?

Probably Woodrow Wilson.

I was going to say that.

I swear to God, I was going to say that.

You can say it with me.

You fucker.

All right, say it with me.

I'm not going to say that.

What is it?

What president made it a national holiday?

I'm going to say John Adams. Rudy? If she gets this one, I'm going to be pissed.
Lincoln? No, he freed the slaves. What? Lincoln.
Rudy 3. Are you fucking kidding me?

No

I gotta Google it

He is our Google

It doesn't matter

I don't believe him

What president

Wait wait hold on

What president

He freed the slaves

And he made Thanksgiving

That's incredible

Made

This guy's got a pretty thick resume

Thanksgiving

Guy's on the penny

I can't believe

No you're wrong

You're fucking wrong

Thank you. made.
This guy's got a pretty thick resume. Thanksgiving.
Guy's on the penny.

I can't believe it. No, you're wrong.

You're fucking wrong.

Fuck you.

What is it?

Who made a national holiday?

President Roosevelt.

Not according to my research.

Okay, I said,

what president made Thanksgiving

a national holiday, right?

And it said,

President Roosevelt. Okay, let me consult here.
No, Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln.
Roosevelt did the beheading of the pardoning of the fucking Turkey. Pardoning the Turkey.
Yeah, but Abraham Lincoln made it a national holiday. This is like tennis.
You lose one point. You are minus one.
All right.

All right, fine.

Fine.

What's next?

What's next?

Okay.

Which song was originally written for Thanksgiving?

Which song was originally written for Thanksgiving?

Jingle Bells, Silent Night, Toxic.

Britney Spears.

Well, those three three Silent Night Jingle Bell Toxic Jingle Bell Oh wow One for Bobby I got one Yeah Bobby has one You're back at zero No no no no That other one was bullshit You're back at zero No Zero, zero, three. No, no, no, no.
That other one's bullshit.

You're back at zero. No, I'm not back at zero because I asked a question.

You questioned the judge.

I'm back at zero?

Yeah, you're back at zero.

That's how the game goes, bud.

Don't yell at him.

How many different varieties of pumpkin are there?

How many different varieties of pumpkin are there?

Yep.

Who's up first?

Bobby?

No, Rudy.

No, I got the last one, so I go first.

Okay, Bobby. Okay, go ahead.
No, you idiot. idiot you rather go later because then you can hear what other people say

But I'm going last now. Okay, how many varieties of pumpkin are there? Yeah

Five I got it. What is it Rudy 10 16

Okay, this one is for Andrew, but it's 45

There's 45 varieties of pumpkin well because gourds you got to think about gourds

Thank you. 16 Okay, this one is for Andrew, but It's 45 There's 45 red as a pumpkin? Well, because gourds, you gotta think about gourds Oh, gourds, I forgot the gourd family Those are pumpkins I didn't know that I don't know if that's true, but I'm saying it Asparagus, is that a pumpkin? Same thing, asparagus All nightshade vegetables, eggplant So, 1, 0, 3 Yep Perfect Okay, Well, which professionals are the busiest during Thanksgiving? The Beastie Boys?

Which Beastie Boy is the coolest?

Which professionals are the busiest?

Hello Nasty.

That's my favorite one.

License to Ill.

Wait a minute.

Say it again.

Which professionals are the busiest during Thanksgiving?

Which professionals are the busiest during Thanksgiving?

What professionals are the busiest during Thanksgiving? Hookers. Okay.
No, that's not my answer. That's your answer.
No, it's not. Even if it's a joke, you can't just throw it out there.
The show is a joke show. I got to make jokes.
That's true. Go ahead.
My real answer is pilots. Wow, that's a good one.
Okay, Rudy. Pilots.

Farmers.

Farmers, good.

Farmers, a good one.

Two goods.

Can we get three good answers?

Mailmen.

Mailmen and women.

Mail ex.

Mail ex.

Mail ex.

Mail exes.

Plumbers.

Because people are pooping and clogging the toilets.

Is that real?

It is real.

What did it say?

Why? Yes, probably because people eat a lot and then shit a lot. I guess that's interesting.
I guess that's interesting. So I guess the closest was Rudy because she said farmers and it is something related to food.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not fair.
That's not fair. That's not it.
How many questions do you have? This is fun. I have plenty.
He's got a lot. I saw the list.
It's a lot. Okay, so Rudy, what is the name of a baby turkey? Balut.
You just ate it. No.
You evil Filipino girl, you. Baby turkey.
There's got to be a time limit. Baby turkey.
Okay. Very good guess.
Bobby? Tiki's. Tiki? Yeah, Tiki's.
I'm going to say baby turkeys are called Turk Turk. Oof.
What is it? The real answer is P-O-L-T.

Huh?

P-O-L-T.

P-O-L-T?

P-O-L-T.

P-O-L-T.

P-O-L-T.

Never heard of that.

Never heard of that in my life.

We got to check this guy's sources.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, go ahead.

We couldn't get an American to ask this question?

Which NFL team traditionally hosts an annual Thanksgiving Day game? The Washington Redskins. The Washington Redskins.
Cowboys. I don't know any NFL team.
Just throw one out there. Make up a name.
Give me a city and then just do the city and make up a name.

Red Washington.

You can't do what he did.

I just did that.

What did you say?

I said Washington Redskins. You can't say the same answer.

You can say Red Washington.

Blue Nevada.

Blue Nevada.

They were great.

They were champions five years ago.

They were?

Yeah, the Blue Nevadas.

This one goes to Andrew.

Why?

Dallas Cowboys.

Yeah.

Is it Dallas?

Yeah.

Okay. Yeah.
So two Dallas? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. So two for me, three for Rudy.
Zero for me. Zero for Bob.
Of course. Okay.
What percentage of Americans eat turkey during Thanksgiving? Wow. You go first.
Me? It's me first? Yeah. 78.
I'll go. 90%.
um

95 78 I'll go 90% 95% Okay, it's 88 So Bobby wins Wait, why did Bobby win? I won I said 90% And it's 88 Oh,'t mean... No, that's whoever's closest.
Every game show, you can't go over. No, it's not...
Isn't that the price is right? Every game show, you can't go over. Only the price is right that's like that.
You can't go over. No, no, I'm closest.
I get a fucking point. Fuck you.
Let's ask the judge. Yes.
Bobby gets a fucking point. So I get a point.
So it's what? You have how many? Three? Three. Two.
Two. I have three.
Two. One, two, three.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, go ahead.

Okay.

I know I am answering the next one.

Yes, you are.

Okay.

So, 102 passengers set sail on the Mayflower.

How many arrive in America?

You're up first, Bob.

101.

Okay.

Andrew? 68. Okay, and Rudy? 52.
Wow. So Bobby wins.
It's 102. Nobody died? Yes! We're tied, fuckfish! How did nobody die? We're tied, fuckfish! How did nobody die? It was a beautiful ship.
No, no, wait a second. It was a Trump-built ship.
Beautiful, perfect. Trump built it? Yeah.
I built the Mayflower when they came over here. Not only did nobody die, somebody was born.
Exactly. That's true.
Did you hear that? Yeah. So go ahead.
Was it 3-2-2, right?

Yep.

Ask away, I'm next.

Damn.

No, you already were first that time.

No, whoever wins gets the first answer.

Fine.

Who celebrates Thanksgiving on the second Monday of October?

The second Monday of October.

Canadians.

Okay.

Of October?

I'm going to go. Canadians.
Okay.

October?

Who celebrates Thanksgiving?

You know what?

No.

Why'd you raise your hand?

Because I want to go first. Go ahead.

Juice.

Wow.

Well, that's the show.

We're canceled. Well, Jews.
Oh, my God, Rudy. Who celebrates? Why would Jews? Where did that even come from? The second Monday of October.
Who celebrates it? Funny answer, though. Very funny.
Who celebrates it? Second Monday of October. Native Americans.
And Rudy wins again. Juice.
No, no, no. Really? Canadians.
Bobby. Bobby wins.
Do I really? Canadians? Yep. Fuck yeah.
Three. So three.
Two. Bring it back.
Three. Three, two.
Here we go. Now it's on.
Which character of Friends. I don't know any of them Got his or her head Stuck in a turkey I'm first though, I only know one name Joey Joey I'm first so I get the answer I'm first, I get the answer And I answered it You don't go against the rules We're supposed's not the rules.
All right? I'm first. We're supposed to rotate.
No, no, no. Whoever wins the right gets first shot.
No, you made that up. No, we didn't make that up.
We all rotated. I answered it first.
Who said Joey first? It's Rudy's turn. No, no.
Who said Joey first, though? We all knew it's Joey. No, but who said it first? Rudy.
No, I said it first. Rudy.
We'll do a different question. No, no, no.
I said Joey first. Fuck you.
Three, two, two. The who said it first rudy no i said it first rudy would do a different question

the judge said it was me the judge did say it was her respect the judge oh take away a point from him judge no you can't take away from three two two yeah you did no no three no you yelled at him three two two fuck you already took two away from me judge judge judge do not do it Do not do it, Judge.

No, it's 3-2.

Thank you.

So 3-2-2. Fuck, you already took two away from me.
Judge, judge. Judge, do not do it.
Do not do it.

Judge?

It's 3-2.

Thank you.

So three.

Oh, me and Rudy have three.

You have two.

So you went down and I went up.

You have two, Andrew.

I went up.

Yeah.

So 3-3-2.

Different question.

Go ahead.

Okay.

Which state raises the most turkeys?

What state?

What state raises the most turkeys? What state? What state raises the most turkey? Rudy. Arizona? Never seen a turkey there.
A lot of turkeys in Arizona. They thrive in fucking deserts.
Judge, who's next? You. Nebraska.
Kentucky. It's Minnesota.
Fuck. I was going to say Minnesota.
Minnesota, why them? I don't know why. Cold, cold.
I think they need cold. I don't know.
It's closer to Minnesota. Are you still on? Nebraska is pretty close.
I'm close. There's no close.
You have to get it on on that one.

Okay.

Who's over close?

Sure.

Thank you, George.

So it's 3-2-2 still.

Go ahead.

Okay.

So, Bobby.

Yeah.

What is a snood?

What?

What is a snood?

S-N-O-O-D.

S-N-O-O-D.

Snood.

And it's related to Thanksgiving? Yes. Do you say at Snood, like the at symbol? No.
What's Snood? Is that your question? Yes. It's a sauce.
Okay. Andrew? Snood is...
Snood is... Rudy, go ahead.
Go ahead. Throw it out there.
I don't even know. Does it involve the turkey? You can't ask questions.
Is that in your mind? He has something. Okay, is it the...
Oh, well, then I didn't... No, I didn't know why.
No, I I did the boy! Is it the thing on there? No, that's a gizzard. No, the gizzard's down here.
The snoot is the test... Maybe that's the testicles above the nose.
Is that what you were asking? Yeah. Okay, that's her answer.
Mine is the thing above their head. Okay, Rudy wins.
Is it loose skin under a male's turkey's neck It's just such bullshit. I didn't ask a question.
Yeah, she asked. That's unfair.
You even said, yeah, it's about the turkey. For us, you just said, yeah, it's about Thanksgiving.
432, that's fine. That's not fine.
It's unfair. I know, but the judges have a...
How many days did the first Thanksgiving last? Who's up first? Rudy. Five.
Okay. Three.
I have to say two. Okay, three.
How do the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and the American Thanksgiving Parade conclude? How does it end? Yep. Bobby?

It ends with a Goodyear blimp at the end.

It ends with Snoopy, I think.

Okay, Rudy?

Can I have two answers?

No.

No.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely not.

That's crazy.

Fireworks.

What is it?

We'll be right back. No.
No. Absolutely not.
Absolutely not. That's crazy.
Fireworks. What is it? With the arrival of Santa Claus.
Oh, fuck. What was the other answer you were going to say? A prayer.
A prayer? Yeah. That's actually very true.
The last car goes by and everyone just starts praying. The Pope? What else? How many women survived to celebrate the first Thanksgiving? How many women survived? In what disaster? Well, in the disaster of coming to America and then fighting the Native Americans and settle.
How many women? It could be 80. It could be a million to fucking 10.
We just established that

102 people came.

102 people. Okay.

So how many survive

women? Who's first?

Andrew.

I mean 54 Okay 68 30 Only 4 I win that one No you don't That's not fair That's not too far I That's not too far. I get it.

That's the rule.

I get it.

Fuck you. You want a couple that way too.

I get it.

I get that.

It was a terrible guess, but Bobby gets it.

Thank you.

4-4-3.

4-4-3.

God.

What meat did the Native Americans bring to the first Thanksgiving?

What meat did they bring to the first Thanksgiving?

Yes.

What meat or didn't bring? No. What meat did they bring to the first Thanksgiving? What meat did they bring to the first Thanksgiving? Yes.
What meat or didn't bring?

No. What meat did they bring to the first Thanksgiving?

Who's up first?

To Bobby.

Okay, Bobby.

What meat?

Deer meat.

Buffalo.

Rudy?

Poultry. Poetry? Poultry.
I thought you said poetry. It was bison, which is deer, so Bobby gets the win.
Bison isn't deer? You mean venison? Venison, sorry. Venison is deer.
Venison. I don't think it counts.
Yes, it does. No.
100%. I won! Fuck you! Hey, hey.
I win the Thanksgiving fucking... No, don't be a sore winner.
Don't be a bad winner. Oh, yeah, you're right.
Thank you. Otherwise, throw that pie right in his face.
Yeah, thank you so much. Rudy, throw that pie right at him.
Do it. The first annual fucking Thanksgiving trivia.
Yes. Let me make a speech.
Hear it, hear it. Oh, no.
I really... All right, Bobby.
You know what this is? What does that do? You have to break it, and whoever gets the bigger piece gets to make a wish, and it comes true. Okay.
Okay. So you grab just a little bottom.
The bottom. The bottom.
Yeah. Okay.
On the count of three, you pull. One, two, three.
Well, I didn't... I didn't know that you were going to...
Well, it's supposed to break. No, you can't...
No, you don't do high up. You have to go way down at the bottom.
Yeah, but I'm ripping it, right? I've never done this before. Ready? Yeah, one, two, three.
Yes. It's only fair.
Let me make a wish. Perfect.
It worked!

Happy Thanksgiving.

Thank you for being a bad friend. Woo-hoo.
Yeah. Woo-hoo.

Yeah.