Santino Hits Bobby and Rudy’s Birthday!

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Speaker 1 You two are bad friends.

Speaker 3 Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 4 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 3 Really, you two or something.

Speaker 3 Bad friends. Welcome back to bad friends.
What's up? Welcome to Bad Friends. Welcome back to Bad Friends.
What's up? How is everyone? How is everybody?

Speaker 3 How's everyone doing? Are you okay? Well, I had to disinfect the inside of the mask, and now it's really like chemically infected.

Speaker 3 We got sent these masks and they're giving me a full-on panic attack. Yeah, yeah.
Well,

Speaker 3 you know, when you make the slits slantier than my slanty slits.

Speaker 3 I think it's pretty accurate.

Speaker 3 I think it's pretty dead accurate. No, they slanted them out.
I think the accuracy is right on the money.

Speaker 3 I only have half vision. I had half vision before, but now I have less.

Speaker 3 Are my eyes okay? No, your eye hole isn't in the eyes. I don't know what you're doing.
Where's my eyes? Is this my nose? Yeah, my eyes are in the right place. They are? You can see me?

Speaker 3 Yeah, see you fine. Oh.

Speaker 3 Can you see me?

Speaker 3 I can totally see you. You can? Yeah.
Just look through the mouth. You can look through the mouth if you can't see much.

Speaker 3 Alright, I'm taking this off. This is creeping me out.
It's creeping me out so much. It is?

Speaker 3 Looking at you with that is grossing me and creeping me out. Oh, you're just crazy.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Awesome.
Alright.

Speaker 3 Thank you. Oh, for the masks.

Speaker 3 Yo, bad friends, welcome back. Thank you so much for the masks to Gianna and Keenan.
Very cool of them. Gianna and Keenan, guys, it's dead on almost.
Fear Fuel Masks. That's really nice.

Speaker 3 At Fear Fuel Masks. Oh, so

Speaker 3 it's a company that makes masks. Yeah, Fear Fuel Masks.
So you could just send in your photo and they'll make masks? I hope so. I don't know.
They just did that for us as a gift.

Speaker 3 I don't know how they got my fucking cheeks right.

Speaker 3 Just the right amount of sugar and spice and everything nice. No, I'm just saying, honestly, how from a photo can you get the cheeks?

Speaker 3 Because I think you have a very specific type of cheek.

Speaker 3 They're

Speaker 3 I'm treading lightly here.

Speaker 3 Well, it's just very

Speaker 3 specific.

Speaker 3 Your cheeks of cheek. Yeah, well, it's your cheeks kind of, they look like

Speaker 3 bow. You know,

Speaker 3 bow? Bow, yeah. You know bow?

Speaker 3 The food? Yeah, bow. Yeah, it's a food.
It looks like bow. Yeah.
It has the same kind of

Speaker 3 perfect little plumpness to it. Where I know there's some liquid in there.
There might be some meat. Yeah.
But I do know that there's liquid inside of there. Yeah.
You're a little dumpling.

Speaker 3 Your face is dumpling cheeks. Pull up your mask.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 This is my mask. Yeah, yeah.
I don't understand how they got. You know what? I have sugar in my hair.
Yeah, yeah. You know what rat leather is? Rat leather? Yes.

Speaker 3 Is it what your mom is what your mom uses to make your clothes when you were a kid? No, rat leather is similar to the stankiness of your mom's vagina. Okay.

Speaker 3 I mean, you started with my, you started with my mom. You always say

Speaker 3 you really hurt me just now. No, I didn't.
But you did. You hit my eyes.
You always say disgusting stuff about my mom. You just attacked my mom.

Speaker 3 I knew when you said rat leather, you were coming after my mom. I knew it.
No, your skin. But then you turned into a mom fight, and then all of a sudden I had to go there.
I'm sorry. I had to win.

Speaker 3 Okay, I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 Why do you mad guys? Why do you mad guys resort to violence all the time? Because you people don't understand.

Speaker 3 no why do you why do you resort to violence all the time i had to throw this at you because the mom stuff it's enough i love your mom bobby i do bobby she's my favorite bobby

Speaker 3 you know when if i ever see your mom you know boby you know what i'm gonna do bobby i'm gonna buy her candles

Speaker 3 whoa so fucking i'm gonna buy her candles yeah i'm waiting okay i'm gonna buy her a burke williams right she doesn't go to that spa gift certificate? Fine. But they have one in Chicago, no?

Speaker 3 I'm sure they do. Yeah.
I'll get her one. Okay.
I'm going to get her a $500 pass. Okay.
So they do the seaweed wrap, right?

Speaker 3 Steam, all that stuff, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'm going to send her to.

Speaker 3 Are you going to get Violet? No.

Speaker 3 You're not going to get Violet? No.

Speaker 3 I'm going to also have her go a day trip into the stables.

Speaker 3 Horse. No, horseback.
Horseback.

Speaker 3 Do you want to to see your head busted open for real? Are you? I'm fucking.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but I'll do it. Because I'll do it.
Okay, forget the stables, the horseback riding. Okay.

Speaker 3 Why do we get so angry about that? I didn't sleep last night. I didn't either that well.
I had nightmares. Why? All night long.
Why? Vince Vaughan was in my nightmare. I love him.
I'm not kidding.

Speaker 3 Big fan. He was chasing me.

Speaker 3 He does that. He was chasing me and yelling at me.
Yeah. All I really wanted to do was start this episode on a good foot with the masks.
We did. And say thank you.
And also, today

Speaker 3 is Rudy's birthday.

Speaker 3 Happy birthday to you.

Speaker 3 Happy birthday to you.

Speaker 3 Happy birthday,

Speaker 3 dear Rudy,

Speaker 3 Thank you. How old are you? 19.
Oh, shit.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 Andrea.

Speaker 3 No, we did it.

Speaker 3 Oh, man. All right, so hold on.

Speaker 3 I don't know. Do you guys make wishes in the Philippines? Yeah.
Okay. Do you blow out your candles and do the same thing in the Philippines? All right.
So

Speaker 3 I don't know. I don't know what they do over there.
I don't know if they hit a squirrel for good luck. I don't know if you...

Speaker 3 All right, so close your eyes and make a nice wish that you really, really mean. Yeah.
Okay, okay, we're going to look the other way because we don't want to jinx it. Go ahead.

Speaker 3 But wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, one second.
Yeah, before you make it.

Speaker 3 If you don't blow out all the candles in one try. I can't.
I can't.

Speaker 3 I'm telling you right now. The wish doesn't come through.
Yeah, no, George will die. Oh, don't blow them all out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. George

Speaker 3 will die. If you can't blow them out in one swift woof, then George dies and you don't get your wish.
Yeah. Oh, wait, what if that's her wish? That could be a wish.
Whoa, heavy wishes.

Speaker 3 All right, all right, all right, dude. That's heavy shit.
So either way, I guess it's a win-win.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so ready? Okay.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 damn. What did you wish for? What did you wish for? Um, anime.
Don't tell us!

Speaker 3 That ruined. You can't tell.
You ask me!

Speaker 3 You never tell. That's the rule.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 It wasn't the right wish, so it's fine. All right.
All right.

Speaker 3 Okay, what was the fake wish then? For anime stuff? Yeah. Well,

Speaker 3 Tito Andrew. And Bobby.
No, just me.

Speaker 3 I got you a gift. And Bobby.
Here. No,

Speaker 3 Bobby had literally nothing to do with this, and you know it, and you know it, and you know it.

Speaker 3 Bobby had nothing to do with it, and you know it. Thank you, Tito.
Well, who's on the cover of the package?

Speaker 3 Show your camera. Who's on the cover? Rude? Hunter, hunter.
Hunter, hunter.

Speaker 3 You still like them, right? I sound like an uncle.

Speaker 3 You still like those guys, right?

Speaker 3 If the bow is too tight, we can scissors it. We can just cut that.
Oh, there it is. All right.
So what's inside the bag? I'm excited.

Speaker 3 What is it? What do we got? A few gifts. A few gifts.

Speaker 3 Start off with

Speaker 3 Hunter, Hunter. Face masks.
Wow, that's cool. Very cool.
Very cool. Very cool.
And Hsoka's on there. And then, what is that?

Speaker 3 Are they numb chucks? It's funny. She never knows how to get close to the mic, but she'll hit it with all the stuff to make it louder.
It's insane. What is this?

Speaker 3 Pababi guess numchucks, which is a good guess. Yeah, chopsticks.
It could be even better guess. Oh, a scroll.
A scroll. That's cool.

Speaker 3 Show the camera so they can. A Hunter-Hunter.
Hunter-Hunter. It's like a, I don't know, what do you call that? A little banner? I figured you could hang it up right there.

Speaker 3 We could hang it up at your desk. Yeah.
Yeah. Maybe over George's face.

Speaker 3 And then last but not least, I got you two.

Speaker 3 Oh, thank you, Dido.

Speaker 3 No, you know. Wait, so there's two of those.
The red-headed one looks like me, and then who's the other guy? Do you know these guys are from the volleyball show? What's it called?

Speaker 3 Haiq. HiQ, I know.
I knew that when I ordered it. You did? It's Haiq.
Did you order it, or did you go to Tokyo Town today?

Speaker 3 I went to Tokyo Town today. Andrew, it's unbelievable.
I went to Little Tokyo today, and I was me and my wife were so excited to get you gifts today, and the anime store was so fun. Andrew.
Bob.

Speaker 3 It is so annoying that I ordered that shit three weeks ago, yeah, online, and then you're fucking claiming it. Shout out to the anime store downtown.
How cool is that?

Speaker 3 Jules, you know that, Jules, you know that he did not go to fucking Japantown today. I think he did.
Yeah, I definitely did. I went to Tokyo.
I went to Little Tokyo today. That's unbelievable.
You.

Speaker 3 And by the way, I forgot how good the food is.

Speaker 3 What did you get down there? What do you think I got down there? Ramen. Sush.
Oh, souch. Sush and rum.
Did you go to what? Hamas? No, Hama's good, though. They were were closed.
Oh. Pandy.

Speaker 3 The doors were closed. It was? I don't understand what, like, half of the restaurants were open and half weren't open.
Yeah. Really kind of broke my heart.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 But anyway, so what are the names of those two guys? Because I don't even know. This is Kaguyama.
Tell her to. Kagiyama.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 And this is Hinan.

Speaker 3 You just... Listen, honestly,

Speaker 3 you're 19 now. Yeah.
Happy birthday, right?

Speaker 3 I think that, you know, when you were 18, I thought, you know, I'm not going to really really be so hard on her in terms of just doing simple things. Right.
Like talking to a mic. Right, right, right.

Speaker 3 If 19 is enough, that's a cutoff. So see,

Speaker 3 listen, okay? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Look at my finger. Okay.
Your mouth should be in this distance. Yeah, right on it.
Okay. Right on it.
Okay. So tell us who it is.

Speaker 3 This one is Kagayama. Kagayama.
He's the setter. Uh-huh.

Speaker 3 Is he your favorite? Who's your favorite? This one. Oh, the one that looks like me.
Kagayami. Let me pull up a Kagayami again.
Wait, there's a little stand for him.

Speaker 3 It sits upright in the little thing. You don't have to do it right now, but you see how there's a plastic thing.
And then, so that's Kaguyaman. Who's the other man? Hinata.
Hinata.

Speaker 3 And what is he on the team? He's the middle blocker. Oh, that's what I was.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 So that looks like me and Andrew.

Speaker 3 Yeah. In the show,

Speaker 3 the Asian one, the one with the dark hair. They're all Asian.
The red-headed one is Asian too.

Speaker 3 I've got way more flavor than you know, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Really?

Speaker 3 I ran my 21 in me or whatever it is.

Speaker 3 48 in me

Speaker 3 89 in me 69 in me yeah guess what what 16 irish i'm barely irish i thought i was a lot 12 nigerian six percent korean

Speaker 3 48 moldovian

Speaker 3 i'm korean dude you're not korean man i am i'll show you the 86 in me no

Speaker 3 I'll prove it. A Korean person's penis isn't translucent.

Speaker 3 It's the the same size as a Korean person's penis. I know, but yours is like those.
It's a jellyfish. It's glow.
You can see right through it.

Speaker 3 Some people like it because then you can see what's going on inside of it. I don't need to know.
I don't need to be in science class when I'm sucking your dick.

Speaker 3 You mean? I want all that stuff sheathed. Yeah, you want a sheath.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it.

Speaker 3 So happy birthday, Rude. Thank you, Dito, Andrew.
Love it. Yes, well, I'm happy that you like it.
I actually

Speaker 3 do that. You know what I said to the girl there?

Speaker 3 This is actually annoying. I asked a guy, I said, hey, I'm looking, I said, for my niece.

Speaker 3 I said, I'm looking for my niece for a gift. She loves Hunter Hunter,

Speaker 3 and she loves Hsoka.

Speaker 3 And the guy there goes, oh, I don't think we have any Hsoka stuff left. And then the girl says, oh, your niece loves Hsoka? Yeah.
And then she shows me those things.

Speaker 3 And she goes, Does she like, what's the volleyball show? Haikyu. Does she like Haikyu? I go, you bet she does.
No idea. Was praying.
I was like, really? I was like,

Speaker 3 please like Haikyu.

Speaker 3 And then she said, which of the five figures, the five main people do you like? Or six main people do you like? Yeah.

Speaker 3 And I picked the redhead because of me and the other one because he looks a little bit like you. Right.
And the girl goes, oh, those are very popular characters. So we picked right.

Speaker 3 The other guys aren't as popular, right? Huh? Yeah, but I still love them. You like them anyway? Yeah, but who's your honestly? Is your favorite one in there or no? He's my favorite.
That guy is.

Speaker 3 The red-headed one? Yeah. It's fucking crazy.
It's amazing. That's amazing.
It's crazy.

Speaker 3 So happy birthday, Rude. Thank you.
Back to you for real.

Speaker 3 I didn't sleep last night, and I know you haven't been sleeping. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Just nightmares, dude. Yeah.
Crazy nightmares. But like, they're not consistent.
One thing is something, and then it moves to another part. Then it moves to another part.
And I tried to look them up.

Speaker 3 And my aunt had one of these friends that used to read dreams. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I sent her an email and, you know, it's like. It's so funny.
They say that nightmares and dreams are only seven seconds long or something.

Speaker 3 And the rest of your sleep sleep is just you don't feel like it. I don't know, but like I've had like voyages, like expeditions in my dreams.
How are those only seven seconds long?

Speaker 3 Some of them I can plan out. Like, I was in the house the other night.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I could tell you room to room almost precisely what was going on in each room. And like, I remember walking up the stairs, and it's probably because it reminds me of my old friend Matt's house.

Speaker 3 They had one of those landings. You know, a stair that has a landing.
It looks down into the house. Yeah.
And I remember how creepy it looked, and someone was yelling. I could really like map it out.

Speaker 3 Seven seconds seems way too short. Yeah, and then you'll have dreams.

Speaker 3 Somebody will appear in your dream, have a cameo that you've never thought about in 30 years. Why was Vince Vaughan in my dream? Vince Vaughn in my dream.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's like I'll be dreaming and I'm like, Craig? Right? Craig Robinson. No.

Speaker 3 Craig Crawford. Craig Crawford, my friend from middle school.
And he just popped in. He's just be in the closet like cooking something.
He's like, beef stew?

Speaker 3 Yeah, and I'll be like, what are you doing here, Craig? But they don't really talk for some reason. I know they don't answer anything.
Craig doesn't have any lines, but he's definitely in the show.

Speaker 3 You know what I mean? That's the best I think. He's like, he's background.
He's background, but still, it's like, why would it? And it's like, you'll also,

Speaker 3 people that you don't like will be your friend in it.

Speaker 3 Well, that's, I hate that. When you are getting along with your enemies

Speaker 3 in your dreams.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's creeps me out. I don't like it.
Kevin Shea?

Speaker 3 What are we skiing for? You know what I mean? And Kevin's like, you know. Come on down the slope.

Speaker 3 It's hot chocolate down there. Yeah.
And you're, all right, Kevin.

Speaker 3 Meanwhile, if I was conscious, I would kill him. Yeah, but you get down there.
He's got hot chocolate for you, but it's like a hot chip. And then we're like laughing.

Speaker 3 And you go to drink the cup of hot chocolate, and it's Eric Griffin. It's just melted in there.

Speaker 3 And then we do the hot dog thing where we're like biting each end, and then you bite, and we kiss at the end.

Speaker 3 I mean, it's like, why do you think that's a good idea? Why do you do that? I don't know.

Speaker 3 Maybe it's my self-conscious telling me to make up with him.

Speaker 3 No. No, it's that you've thought about him in the past certain amount of time.
Yeah, but why are we skiing together? Because it's a metaphor for something. You know what's so annoying about Deaf Jam?

Speaker 3 None of them were deaf. Not one of those black comics was deaf.
And I wanted them to put on one deaf, one deaf black comic. You know?

Speaker 3 Great to be here.

Speaker 3 Can you say great to be here on a deaf comic show?

Speaker 3 Great to be here. That's your first joke.

Speaker 3 But they still do.

Speaker 3 They still do the

Speaker 3 material, right?

Speaker 3 Black people's butts are much higher up than white people's butts.

Speaker 3 Right. You hear me?

Speaker 3 Mitches be crazy.

Speaker 3 I don't know. I don't know.
It's so stupid. It's such a dumb joke that I'm making.

Speaker 3 We're meeting. So look, I've got you a meeting with a sleep expert.

Speaker 3 Because look the internet the fans are worried. So I've got you a meeting with a sleep expert.
Ladies and gentlemen,

Speaker 3 this is Dr. Jay Corsandi.

Speaker 3 He is an expert in all things helping Bobby with his sleep troubles. Yeah.
So, Dr. Cassandi, why don't you

Speaker 3 take it from here? Because we're worried about Bob's.

Speaker 3 Dr. Cassandra,

Speaker 3 I have to say that I'm not worried about it. And everyone's

Speaker 3 being crazy around me.

Speaker 3 I'm fine with it. I've always slept the way I've slept.

Speaker 3 I have,

Speaker 3 when I sleep, my girlfriend records me when I sleep.

Speaker 3 And you should see that. It's crazy what I do.
I'll go like this when I'm sleeping.

Speaker 3 Oh, gross.

Speaker 3 As if it's already not hard to date. I know, I know, but I make that noise when I'm sleeping, and she records me.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 And whenever I see it, I laugh because I go, what the fuck am I doing? Why do I do that? You know, when I'm asleep. Is that a sign of anything, Dr.
Cassandi? Is that a sign?

Speaker 5 Yeah, so when he says,

Speaker 3 am I eating pussy in the dream?

Speaker 3 I just feel like I'm eating pussy in the dream. You should do it more in real life.

Speaker 5 So, so, you know,

Speaker 5 I see a lot of patients that come in, especially guys, and they say, you know, it's not a problem. It doesn't bother me.
It bothers somebody else.

Speaker 5 So in some ways, it could be indirectly bothering you because the girlfriend could be suffering from this.

Speaker 3 She is. Yeah.
Trust me, she is. She is suffering, but why am I making that right?

Speaker 5 Yeah, so that's called mouth breathing. And do you wake up with a dry mouth or do you have water by the bed or any of that going on?

Speaker 3 Well, here's the thing. I try not to drink water, a lot of water, before I go to bed.
Yeah, I was going to say, are you doing a lot of bathroom trips at night as well?

Speaker 3 Okay. So here's the thing.

Speaker 5 And I would say you probably do want to be a little bit worried about this because most of my patients, I'd say 90% are guys 40 to 50. And I think you follow that demographic as well.

Speaker 3 What happens? Yeah, when you turn 40, well, I call it

Speaker 3 old pause.

Speaker 5 And what's happening is we're getting a big testosterone drop.

Speaker 5 Typically, there's a partner or spouse involved, sometimes kids, you know, family, work, stress, life, and then weight tends to start creeping up. And what happens is that constricts the airway.

Speaker 5 And that's what I specialize in, is what's called airway management or sleep disorder breathing. So snoring and sleep apnea.

Speaker 5 And as you start to develop more snoring and sleep apnea, that's when the health concerns are going to start spiking. You know, things like elevated blood pressure, type 2 diabetes.

Speaker 5 I know you guys are a little bit more degenerate on this show, so we could talk about libido loss. A lot of guys come in and say they can't get it up as much anymore.

Speaker 5 They're taking Viagra and stuff like that. So these are problems.

Speaker 3 Well, you know, I used to be a fuck machine in Rabbit Time, USA, 2020,

Speaker 3 all day long. You know what I mean? It was a drill.
I used to go

Speaker 3 like an

Speaker 3 hour.

Speaker 3 Hands free. Hands-free.
Now it's like sloth style.

Speaker 3 It takes me about 45 minutes to an hour to get in the hole. You know what I mean? And then when I'm in there, it's like, it's just like, you know, I don't even go up and down anymore.

Speaker 3 I go like a hula hoop. Yeah, it goes around and around and around.
Like around and around. And I do it real slow.
And then I just go, I then, last night, well, sorry for saying this, Jules, but.

Speaker 3 No, put your fingers in your ears. Put your fingers in your ears.
Last night, if you can, I made love to Kalila, and I just said, I just whisper in her ear. I go,

Speaker 3 I'm just going to lay on my back.

Speaker 3 And she goes, You want me to do all the work? I go, everything.

Speaker 3 All right. So I laid on my back, and she's just, you know what I mean, does, you know, does her DAO, right? Yeah.
And then

Speaker 3 you're sleeping in the middle. Yeah, yeah, and I fall asleep.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 5 So, so that's the big problem. You know, your mouth breathing, that's a dry mouth, that kind of, that

Speaker 5 sound that you make. And, you know, those are all going to cause sleep loss for you.
And

Speaker 5 research has shown that partners of people who snore on average lose an hour of sleep a night.

Speaker 3 And then tell, but, but is also, is there death stuff involved? I wanted to really scare him with you. Like, can he have a die? Yeah, can he have a stroke? Can he have a heart attack?

Speaker 3 Like, because what I have to let you know is likelihood of

Speaker 5 four times likelihood of a stroke.

Speaker 5 Those are the two biggest ones. If you make it long enough, then you're looking at what's called neurocognitive decline, which is Alzheimer's, dementia, you know, brain capacity function loss.

Speaker 5 So, so these things tend to slow down. And the reason this stuff happens is because poor sleep is an inflammatory process.
When we're not rejuvenating, we're not restoring.

Speaker 5 If we're snoring at night, that's keeping our brain from getting into deeper stages of sleep.

Speaker 5 So it's just like if you have your phone and you plug it in a charger that's really beat up wire, you're not going to recharge as well, which means you're not going to function the next day, but ultimately it's going to.

Speaker 3 All right, Dr. Shasjevan, what do we do here? What can we do to help him out? Does he need a sleep apnea machine?

Speaker 5 The first step in something like this is a sleep study. I mean, basically, find out what's going on at night.

Speaker 3 See, that's what that's.

Speaker 3 So that, right, so my doctor, Dr. Kawashiri, my doctor.
What's his name? Dr. Kawashiri? Is he a sleep doctor? Or just a doctor doctor? He's my doctor.

Speaker 3 He's a general practitioner. He's a general.
Okay. Well, this gentleman is specific.
I understand that, but that's, but I was talking to... I don't know.
I'm just going to tell you a story.

Speaker 3 We usually let Kawashiri know that we're a little bit advanced. Just remind you.
I'll let him know, but he's very good. Well, if you look him up, he's very good.
We will Google him. Okay.

Speaker 3 But go ahead. So he does Fred Durst, everybody.

Speaker 3 Oh. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I just made that up.

Speaker 3 But I just had to defend Dr. Kawashiri for a second.
But we talked to Dr. Kawashiri before the pandemic, and he goes, oh, well, you need to have, he goes, you need to have a sleepo study.
Yep.

Speaker 3 And I go, I'm out. I'm like, what, study? I'm not going to come here and try to study.

Speaker 3 I need to wire stuff.

Speaker 3 So here's the deal.

Speaker 5 The old traditional way, old school way of doing sleep studies, yeah, you'd have to pack a bag, go spend the night at a facility or a hospital.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Affordable, they're take-home.

Speaker 5 They're even shippable. We actually just send them to your house.
You do it at night, and then you ship it back to us, and then we plug it in the computer and we get the report.

Speaker 3 Super easy, perfect.

Speaker 3 So, so you can ship it. You can ship it to us, and we can use it, and you can ship it back.
We can ship it back to you and find the results.

Speaker 3 Oh, all right, brother. Have a good day.
Thanks, man. Bye.

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Speaker 3 My eye still hurts right here. My eye still hurts.
From what? From you throwing the mask at my face. I didn't throw the mask at your face.
You did. No, I didn't.

Speaker 3 You did.

Speaker 3 Your tape.

Speaker 3 You got a little cut. Do I really? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Little tiny cut right above your eye. Seriously, right on your eyelid, actually.

Speaker 3 I see it now. Yeah, you did that.
Isn't that cool? It's fucked up. What does that mean? That you would fucking attack me.
No, but what does does that mean to you?

Speaker 3 What means to me? That little cut. What does that mean?

Speaker 3 Let it go, man. It's gone.
It's over. It's not.
No, it already happened. It doesn't matter, right? It doesn't mean that's in the past, right? No, what it means to me is...
It doesn't even matter.

Speaker 3 Things don't even matter, right? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Can I answer you?

Speaker 3 That cut represents every time

Speaker 3 that you said something about my mom, every time you were late and complained, every time you acted like a baby about something, that's what that little tiny minuscule nothing cut, the way that you go, why do you get frustrated at nothing?

Speaker 3 That cuts a little nothing too. It doesn't even exist.

Speaker 3 Can't let it bother you.

Speaker 3 But it's also a reminder.

Speaker 3 It's a hint.

Speaker 3 Hey, fuck with me and

Speaker 3 I'll fuck you up.

Speaker 3 I'll give you bigger cuts. I have more stuff to throw at you.
I know, but see, but now

Speaker 3 you push me to the edge.

Speaker 3 You push me to the edge.

Speaker 3 On your birthday, you called me a puss and then dared me to throw the cake and everything in my power wanted me to throw the cake and also anime

Speaker 3 and punch through the cake yeah and kill you

Speaker 3 and just like fold in your head with my fist but why does it go to violence because there's no other way to get through to you violence is the only way to get through to somebody for me to get through to you not to somebody yeah i'm never violent with rudy i would never yeah because she's she's conscious and aware and thoughtful you know

Speaker 3 So you have to resort to violence, okay? With you. Yeah, I know.
I have to resort to violence with you. That you don't.
You don't have to.

Speaker 3 I do, because it reminds you of things that you shouldn't be doing. No, it doesn't.
What it does is it makes me want to double down. And then I'm going to hit you harder.

Speaker 3 I know, and then it's going to end up us not being friends, and it's going to get ugly.

Speaker 3 So why don't you stop with the violence? No, why don't you stop with the shit? Like, what did I do? Everything. I brought up rat leather, right, to talk about your skin.
Because I knew.

Speaker 3 And then you talked about my mom, and then I attacked you about your mom. That's right, and then I had to retaliate.
I know, but you started with the mom stuff.

Speaker 3 Because you've unsolicited mom stuff at me all the time. Yeah.

Speaker 3 You do it all the time.

Speaker 3 So I just had to hit you. I didn't mean to make you bleed.
And I did think hitting you with a soft mask wasn't going to hurt. But something caught you right in the eye.
And maybe that's God.

Speaker 3 Maybe that's Jesus going, God didn't hurt him. God, no.
It was the devil.

Speaker 3 Yes, it was. Yeah, it's dark shit that you have to work out.
You're very angry. I'm working it out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But with you,

Speaker 3 but with you, you make it really dark. No one's ever assaulted me.

Speaker 3 That is so not true. Who? I've seen you get assaulted at the comedy store multiple times.
Who? Multiple people have punched you. One.
Okay.

Speaker 3 Ari Shafir. Yeah, and you deserved it.
Really? Do you know why he did it? You called him an ugly Jew bag. No, I didn't.
Yeah, you did. You said you're a dirty Jew

Speaker 3 because you, and he goes, you don't like Jewish people? And you said that. No, he called me

Speaker 3 because Natasha Legero had cheated on him.

Speaker 3 Okay. With who? With Ron Peterson.

Speaker 3 I don't know who that is. Ron Peterson was a Canadian actor.
He was Martin Schwartz's friend. Canadian actor.

Speaker 3 You know the story, right? I do know the story. Then how come why do I have to tell you? Because some of the people don't know the story.
All right, so let's just go back. Right?

Speaker 3 So Ron Peterson was an actor on Med TV when I was on Med TV. And he was at the store with me.
He saw Natasha Legier go up in the belly room. And he goes, I want to penetrate her.

Speaker 3 And I go, she's seeing my friend Ari.

Speaker 3 And then I went down to the OR to do my set. He stayed up there.
And while she got, when she got off stage, he got her number. She left Ari.

Speaker 3 And then Ari comes to me and he says, Can you break into Ron Peterson's office at Fox,

Speaker 3 steal his email, and then forward it to me?

Speaker 3 I go, I'm not breaking into somebody's fucking office to do that. Then he said, if you don't do it, you're the one that set them up, and I'll fucking kill you.

Speaker 3 That's not nice. Yeah, so that's the kind of shit you would do.
That's not nice. Crazy violence.
You're so crazy. I know.
So

Speaker 3 don't go there. First of all.
Don't go there. I'm sorry about the cut.
I'm not sorry about throwing the mask. That you deserved.
The cut, I didn't mean to hurt you. Okay.

Speaker 3 But I did want to hit you with it because I thought that was fun.

Speaker 3 Because this is like a symbolic of me. Don't throw anything at my face again.
I'm going to throw stuff at you if I want to.

Speaker 3 You break all of my requests and rules. So.
What are your requests and rules? Let's start there.

Speaker 3 I'm not thinking our friendship's on the line now. Okay.
All right, so let's start there. Okay.
So what is the problem? Here we have resentment. Let's do that.

Speaker 3 How about not being so disrespectful of me and or my time?

Speaker 3 Okay, so today, right? Like not texting me back or not answering my calls.

Speaker 3 Even if it's just like a, oh, okay, cool. Okay.

Speaker 3 Matt Reif wants you to do his stand-up shows. You interested? I respond, I'm not performing until we have Vaccine right on.
That's the last one I texted you. That's the problem there.
That's just one.

Speaker 3 Let's go through the other scroll of how many blues are on my side and no response on your end. Okay, so.
I'll go through it too. Bobo.

Speaker 3 I don't know what to say to that.

Speaker 3 When somebody says, hey, what's up? You don't know what that says? What Bobo is?

Speaker 3 Is your name Bobo? Do people call you Bobo? Yeah, yeah. Okay, so what do you mean? Andrew, if you said to me, Hey, firehead, hey, hey, hey, freak, monster boy.
But Bobo, let me just say something.

Speaker 3 When you randomly say somebody's name, Bobo, it's not a question, right? It's an introduction to a conversation. It's not a statement in any kind of way.
I don't know how to respond to it.

Speaker 3 You use a name to start a... Hey, it's like saying, hey, if I go, Rudy, she goes, what? And then we start a fucking conversation.
I don't, yeah, I know. I just don't know.

Speaker 3 So basically, you know what I mean? So when you say Bobo, instead of saying, I don't know what you're saying, you don't say shit. So you say Bobo, then I go, Andrew, right? You didn't say Bobo.

Speaker 3 You know what goes after that? You didn't. You know what goes after that? I didn't read what you said.
I'm 69 in each other. It's fucking gay.

Speaker 3 You said any videos. So I'm supposed to go, ha ha ha ha, LOL, LOL, smiley face, emoji, emoji.
What a fuck? What the fuck is this?

Speaker 3 What are you getting angry? You're getting angry again.

Speaker 3 No. Yeah.
What are you getting angry?

Speaker 3 Angry. No.
We're just having a conversation, okay? So

Speaker 3 the other day you said that I'm late. It upset you, okay? Every time.
You're late. Every time.
I understand that. Fuck you.
But today, right?

Speaker 3 At 3 fucking 30, right i go kalila please text andrew and say that i'm gonna be able to go now she's like you she goes you can't go right now i go why because

Speaker 3 the fucking postmates is running late and she goes the fucking was there not a red truck blocking my car out of the driveway right so i go holy shit and i kept telling uh kalila We were almost getting a fight.

Speaker 3 I go, if I'm fucking late, I swear to God, I go, if I'm fucking late, Andrew Andrew is gonna fucking yell the fuck out of me she goes let me text him she did text me exactly right so that all that shit I had no control over anyway you know how you know how like when a drug addict is like yeah no this time I didn't this time or like you know when someone goes it was gonna be the last bank we robbed or it was like

Speaker 3 I just it was just that one more time you know

Speaker 3 so so so so my point is this it's not like this was the one or two or three times

Speaker 3 let's go back to the bank robbery sure okay you and I are bank robbers. Okay.

Speaker 3 And I look at you and I go, um, bro. Hey, I forgot the masks.
That's what you would say. Oh, fuck.
I forgot the masks. That's the point.

Speaker 3 That's not the point. Yeah, and I'd go.
No, you're going to go. Are we going to rob the bank?

Speaker 3 Are you showing up? You'll show up with these masks.

Speaker 3 This is the mask.

Speaker 3 I got our mask to rob the bank.

Speaker 3 What I'm saying is, what you're saying is

Speaker 3 the last bank job we're going to do, is the point, right, of this thing? No, the point is. And then let me just finish.
So you and I, right, rob a bank. Yeah.
Okay. Which one? Whatever.
Chase? Chase.

Speaker 3 Chase. Okay.
And you say to me, this is the last one. I go, yeah, all right.
We rob the bank, right?

Speaker 3 And we have a bunch of money that's going to take care of us for the next five, ten years before we're not going to rob a bank, right? Okay. And all of a sudden, like, um,

Speaker 3 we leave all the money in the trunk of a front rental car.

Speaker 3 You leave all the you leave all the cars. Whatever, regardless.
Because I didn't leave it. All right, right.
Why did you leave it in the middle of the mall?

Speaker 3 Like, you fucking left it in the enterprise rental car? Yeah, you already know the scenario. And I go, yeah, we have to rob another bank.
Yeah, we would have to do that. That's what the situation is.

Speaker 3 That's exactly right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And we'd rob another bank and we'd get caught. We'd go to prison.
We said, we had it.

Speaker 3 If you didn't leave it in the Chevy fucking Malibu and return it to Enterprise Red Car. What you're saying it to me, though, is that we can't.
Listen, like, I was lazy. I love you so much.

Speaker 3 I hate you right now. I love you.
You hurt me, and I don't like when people physically assault me. Oh, stop it.
It was an accident. Honestly, my eyes.
I said, I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 I said, I'm sorry. Freak it out, man.

Speaker 3 I said, I'm sorry. All right.
Don't throw anything at my face again. I said, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean mean to cut you. Are you going to throw something at my face again? I threw this.

Speaker 3 You got to throw something at my face again. Plastic.
You're going to throw myself in my face.

Speaker 3 Don't. All I throw at your face now from now on is compliments and love.
Okay, Bobby. So why? Why are you doing it like that? No, I just, I'm being real.
Don't be sarcastic. No, I'm not.

Speaker 3 Let's be real.

Speaker 3 It seems like you have deep-seated resentment. Because you bring out the worst in me sometimes.
No, I don't. Yes, you do.
You do it to yourself.

Speaker 3 I don't do it to rudy you do it to yourself i don't do it to fucking andres fancy b do i ever do i ever get uppity with you and insane

Speaker 3 see nothing fancy b yeah yeah

Speaker 3 people know listen all right yeah i know what kind of person okay how about this

Speaker 3 i'll only hurt men let me just finish yeah i'll hurt i i will probably physically and emotionally hurt men

Speaker 3 and i'll fight you and i'll kill you we know you know that i want to kill you we know that you have a temperament right you have a certain way about you right? I accept you the way you are.

Speaker 3 I really do. I accept you the way you are.
As long as I don't get physically hurt by you.

Speaker 3 Let me finish. Stop pretending I'm not.
I accept you. I accept you the way you are.
Stop making it like this was an insane violence. I threw a mask at you.
But I'm scarred. Floodless.
Shut up.

Speaker 3 Like a fucking pirate now. I have a story to tell.
Right? I got to tell people the story. You threw a fucking Andrew Santino fucking mask at me.
Who did it? Andrew Santino. A funny story, nonetheless.

Speaker 3 He threw a mask of his own head at your head? Yeah, and I'm going to say this right now. If you ever fucking put a scar on my face again,

Speaker 3 right? You'll see what's coming to you. What would you do? Nothing.
I know. That's the point.
Nothing. But that's going to be sad.
Because I'll have nothing to do with you. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Go ahead.

Speaker 3 What you got? I have nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have nothing. Get all because this is the episode where you get all of it out.
I've done it every episode. All right, so.

Speaker 3 Every episode, I tell you what bothers me. I told you that,

Speaker 3 let's fucking finish it off. I told you that, right, that I

Speaker 3 am going to do everything I can to show up here on time. Today, I tried

Speaker 3 a red truck fucking with you. I understand.
And I was fucking five minutes late. I wasn't even that bothered by it.
All right, that's number one. Okay.
Number two, what else?

Speaker 3 What else do you do? Yeah, that bothers you. Oh, my God.
I'll just, can I just email you? No, tell me now.

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 3 You have to. I can't air it out.
Cut it out. We'll cut it out.
No.

Speaker 3 No, because you know what the irony is, Bob? Yeah.

Speaker 3 You know what irony is, right? Yeah.

Speaker 3 The irony is:

Speaker 3 I love you so much.

Speaker 3 This is real. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can cut this out. Yeah.
I love you so much. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And I care about you.

Speaker 3 See? Yeah, no, that's me absorbing it.

Speaker 3 I'm sucking it in.

Speaker 3 That

Speaker 3 even the things things you do that fucking kill me,

Speaker 3 I still love about you, and it's a part of our relationship.

Speaker 3 The toxicity of

Speaker 3 the toxicity of what it does to me when you do shit that bothers me is probably why I like you. Yeah.
If you were boring,

Speaker 3 I probably wouldn't want to be your friend.

Speaker 3 So ironically,

Speaker 3 the chaos that is bobby lee

Speaker 3 is why i think i love you right

Speaker 3 and that's you know and once in a while yeah during the chaos of a tornado yeah you get hit in the fucking head with a mask yeah

Speaker 3 yeah stuff flies everywhere uh-huh

Speaker 3 the truth but the truth the truth is i don't

Speaker 3 being screamed at what i enjoy being screamed at i know that's why we're fine i know i i enjoy these kind of moments of like you know what i mean Hostility and weirdness and resentment.

Speaker 3 I don't resent you. I know, but I'm just saying I enjoy

Speaker 3 the tension of it, right?

Speaker 3 I strive on it.

Speaker 3 That's my fucking fuel. Okay.
To live. So let's keep it going.
I don't like being physically harmed. You're going to go back to this bullshit? No, I'm just going to hit you.
I apologize. I know.

Speaker 3 No, I'm just. Because we're not going to talk about it again.
I'm just telling you what I do and don't like. I know what you want.
Nobody likes to get get hit in the face with a mask. Right.

Speaker 3 I'm well aware. I just don't like it.
Okay. You know, I don't like being, you know, I like

Speaker 3 being called a gook.

Speaker 3 I like being like, you know what I mean? I don't call you that. I know.
I'm just saying. I'm just telling you what I do like.
So I can from now on. No, no, no, no, no.
I'm just saying.

Speaker 3 It doesn't, you know what I mean? I like confrontation in that way. All right.
Right. People,

Speaker 3 you're lazy. You're fat.
You nothing. You're good for nothing.
All that stuff that you do, right?

Speaker 3 I enjoy.

Speaker 3 You're insane. I only enjoy.
You're nothing. You're personally compliment you

Speaker 3 constantly. I'm saying that I can handle any of that shit, right? What I can't handle, right, is I don't want to die or I don't want to get scarred.
I wouldn't hurt you. Right.

Speaker 3 I wouldn't really hurt you. You're that type of guy.
Oh, I wouldn't. I beg you.
I beg you. Honestly.
No,

Speaker 3 no, honestly. Can I just go here? And I'll get on my knees.
I'll get on my fucking knees, man.

Speaker 3 I'll get on my knees.

Speaker 3 Please.

Speaker 3 Please. Don't physically hurt me again.

Speaker 3 Okay, I apologize, please, sir.

Speaker 3 Don't hurt me again, okay? I'll think about it. No, no, be real.
Just say it right now. I already told you.

Speaker 3 Please don't do it again. Please.

Speaker 3 Don't do it again. I promise I won't.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 For comedic purposes, you do know

Speaker 3 right now would be the best time for me to throw this mask at you again

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Speaker 4 I am so excited for the spa day.

Speaker 3 Candles lit.

Speaker 4 Music on.

Speaker 3 Hot tub warm and ready.

Speaker 2 And then my chronic hives come back.

Speaker 4 Again, in the middle of my spa day.

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Speaker 3 And also, can I just say this? Bobby, shut up. I I love you too.
But let me just say this, okay? And just since we're doing this, Jules,

Speaker 3 don't fucking look at me that way. Because when I was in the car with you, right?

Speaker 3 When I was in the car with you, with some nice music on, right? What did I say to you? And you laughed. You said,

Speaker 3 I love you.

Speaker 3 And what was your response?

Speaker 3 I laughed. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Okay. Do you not love him? No, no.
No, no, no, she doesn't. And so now, since we're doing this right now,

Speaker 3 we're doing it. We're doing it right now, right?

Speaker 3 That hurt.

Speaker 3 You threw fucking a mask in my face, too, in the car. An emotional laugh.
You also laughed. Because of your response.
Do you know what your response was?

Speaker 3 Nice music was playing, right? You know what I mean? And I just kind of was driving and I looked at her and I go, you know what? I love you.

Speaker 3 And she goes,

Speaker 3 she was eating a sandwich. She goes,

Speaker 3 what?

Speaker 3 That's what she says. So then I put down the volume and I go, I just said, I love you.
And she went like this.

Speaker 3 She made this face.

Speaker 3 And then her response, her face made me laugh. Like, what the fuck? All right.
I don't love you. What the fuck? Right? And then we both laughed.
But, right? So

Speaker 3 that's the truth. Right? What you did was hurtful.
You threw a mask at me earlier. Okay.
That's what it really is. Yeah.
No. This didn't even hurt that much.
It did.

Speaker 3 That hurt.

Speaker 3 So, um,

Speaker 3 stop touching your eyes. It hurts.
Oh, okay. Oh, yeah.
The last thing is, um,

Speaker 3 I get weirded out when

Speaker 3 I'm ready. Whatever it is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please.
All right. I get weirded out when friends send me, like, you know, cute memes.
What did I show

Speaker 3 videos or something to, you know, let's giggle about something together, you know what I mean? Like schoolgirls. What did I send you? I don't know what that is.
I didn't even watch it, right?

Speaker 3 But it's like, whenever somebody. That's a video I sent you that we were going to play on this show.
Okay. But when you send me, like,

Speaker 3 so I don't want to, you don't want me to send you shit that I'm going to be able to do. I didn't know that.
I didn't know that. Well, no, you didn't, because you didn't fucking watch it.

Speaker 3 Preference it. I don't send you fucking cute memes.
Look at how you're digging for shit that doesn't even exist. You're right.
You're right. I'm just looking now.
There isn't.

Speaker 3 Now you're pissing me off. I know.
Sorry.

Speaker 3 Thank you. Look at me in the face.
Say sorry. Say sorry, because I'm going to say it to you.
You can't. I'm sorry for hitting you in the face.
You can't. So say sorry for you.
Sorry for what?

Speaker 3 Sorry for being a fucking

Speaker 3 making up shit, you fucking, you fucking drama queen.

Speaker 3 I love you.

Speaker 3 So now you're allowed to get Starbucks, by the way. Is this a new rule? Yeah, delivered.
What's the difference if you go to the drive-thru window? They won't let me. No, no, I'm asking.

Speaker 3 They won't let me! I'm asking. What? What's the drive-through window between a guy that delivers it? I don't know.
They won't let me. I don't get it.
Do you know what it is? No, I just follow it.

Speaker 3 You follow the rule. Yeah, yeah.
The rules. Now,

Speaker 3 I get not being in an unclosed space, but I think a drive-through seems like that seems

Speaker 3 regardless who's winning. Who's winning? You didn't get COVID and I did, so maybe that's your.
But I also don't go to drive-thrus, ironically enough. I don't think I will get COVID gut whittling.

Speaker 3 You won't. You won't.
Because I just don't leave the house. You know,

Speaker 3 you don't think that I... You won't.
You don't think that I desire to

Speaker 3 get it? Do you want to get it and get it over with? No, I have a discussion. Do you know Fauci said half of Americans are going to get it by the end of next year?

Speaker 3 Half of Americans will have had it by the end of next year. What's that sticker on the back of your phone? Me and Klyla.
Oh. What is that? When is that from? Is that new? A long time ago.
Oh. Why?

Speaker 3 I've never seen it.

Speaker 3 Let's get into what... Let's just get into what...
Let's talk about the British Bake Off.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God. I love the British Bake Off.
Do you watch the show? Are you kidding me? Are you watching this season? Yes. No, be real.
I swear.

Speaker 3 And we just finished the Great Pottery, the great British Pottery

Speaker 3 show

Speaker 3 on Netflix. Why couldn't I? I think they don't watch a pottery show.
Oh, my God. They make pots.
Oh, they do? The pottering wheel. I didn't know.

Speaker 3 I don't know that one, so can we talk about the British one? Fine. We can talk about the break-in, too.
Breaking bread. Breaking bread.
Do you watch it, really? Yes, we do.

Speaker 3 Or let me ask you, because I don't know if you do.

Speaker 3 Who's in it? Like, give me a description of people that's in it. Margot

Speaker 3 Kalen. No, babe.
You don't watch it. Why don't you just be honest that you don't watch the show? Margot Kalen.
There's no Margot Kalin in it.

Speaker 3 The New Princess.

Speaker 3 The New Princess. Do you not watch it? Of course I don't watch that show.
That's insane.

Speaker 3 You don't watch the Great British.

Speaker 3 My sister loves it, and she got me to watch an episode or two with her when I was back home.

Speaker 3 I just don't know that I don't know. I don't know if I care about watching people bake stuff.
It's hard for me.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 I tried. I know people like it.
No, no, it's not about that.

Speaker 3 It is about baking. That's the crux of it.
That's the foundation of it, right? Right.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 3 here's why I like it. And here's why I think it's a great show.
Who, okay, who, okay, tell me why. Okay.
Tell me why I must watch the show. Okay, because,

Speaker 3 you know, we live in a...

Speaker 3 America. I know where we live, right? Well, he's not filming.
No. You know, you and and I specifically, right?

Speaker 3 We live in this kind of dark underbelly of comedy, right? We do. Okay.
And we live, you know, like in terms of like

Speaker 3 what we think about, what we talk about, you know, some of our ideals and ethics. And because we're always kind of so dark and gloomy, right?

Speaker 3 That we live in this kind of, you know, I mean, under a shroud of...

Speaker 3 you know, I mean, a shroud. We're in the upside down.
We're in the upside down world, right? We see everything. We're in the world.
The comedy's show so dark and

Speaker 3 I've seen dark things and drugs and all kinds of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 And when you watch the Great British Bake Off, right? It's the polar opposite of that. It's what it should be.
Yeah, it's happy. Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's number one, it's a competition show where it's when somebody leaves the show, they hug them, goodbye. There's no fucking caddiness.
Like, bitch, you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 You should have bucket made croissants better, bitch. You know what I mean? There's none of that.
That's a funny funny show, too. I know that would be a great show, right? It's like,

Speaker 3 Tanya was...

Speaker 3 I'm so sad to see her go. And they hug, and it's really pleasant.
Even the coach, like the judges, everyone gets together at the end and they talk about it, right?

Speaker 3 But number two, it's a very creative show.

Speaker 3 It's like, you know, there's a technical challenge in the middle, right? But the first challenge and the last challenge, it's up to the person.

Speaker 3 They decide what they want. For instance, if it's like bread week, right?

Speaker 3 It's like, you know, we want you to make a bread shaped as, you know, I mean, colonial, make it a colonial building, right?

Speaker 3 But you can use any ingredients you want, right? And you can use any kind of bread that you want. So everyone becomes creative, right?

Speaker 3 And it's,

Speaker 3 and it's interesting because you're like, number one, I love bread and I love anything baking. Everybody loves bread.
Right, but I just love people's ingenuity. And

Speaker 3 because there's a time crunch, too, right? There's the stress of it, but it's like,

Speaker 3 I just, it's a wholesome show, and I feel like

Speaker 3 I need it. I do think you do.
Because I, I, okay, so what I agree with you on that, I'll try it again. Yeah.
The reason I like the pottery show.

Speaker 3 Is there really a pottery show? Because I've never heard of one. I swear to God.
I swear to God, you're lying. I swear to God, it's on Netflix.
I swear to God, in my life.

Speaker 3 Why would pottery be a thing?

Speaker 3 Pottery Netflix Show, British.

Speaker 3 Look,

Speaker 3 it's called

Speaker 3 The Great Pottery Throwdown. I love it.
The Great Pottery Throwdown. It's on Netflix.
Okay. In the same way that you're talking about, the reason I love it.
I like it because

Speaker 3 I'm fascinated by pottery.

Speaker 3 My therapist says I should pot.

Speaker 3 You should pot. I know, but that you got to buy the wheel.

Speaker 3 And I know me, if once you're getting the pot molded just right and it folds in on itself, I'm losing it maybe instead of like buying the most expensive Mercedes you could have got a pottery wheel I didn't buy a most expensive Mercedes whatever that I don't even drive a Mercedes what is that Ben's that's a kid that's a Kia Sorento that I drive

Speaker 3 it's not a Mercedes it's a Kia Sorento

Speaker 3 it is

Speaker 3 yes oh

Speaker 3 okay

Speaker 3 Okay, and that has nothing to do with the buy. I'm not going to buy a wheel pottering wheel for my house.
Why? I'm just saying that you spend so much on other things.

Speaker 3 What are the other things i spend on

Speaker 3 take the mercedes

Speaker 3 it's a kia sorento i don't have a mercedes that's not your car then i see all the time

Speaker 3 there are 50 cars in our parking lot is a mercedes is that a mercedes it's it's a

Speaker 3 i gotta go look at it then that's mine that's his oh you have a mercedes

Speaker 3 fancy be under underline fancy oh you have that kia sorento is yours that's mine oh why'd you get a better car but you spent money on I don't spend money on anything. Okay.

Speaker 3 My clothes are terrible. That's true.
Okay. Yes.

Speaker 3 Andreis.

Speaker 3 He just said yes to me. I've been to your house.
That's...

Speaker 3 Well, what? I buy nothing in my home. Your house looks like...
I'm sorry. Yeah, you're a show place.
I know. It is.
It's for a movie set. We rent it out every month.
No, no, no. I rent it out.

Speaker 3 Everything is... It's like a showroom at a furniture store.
Mison Plus. It's beautiful.
Mison Plus. It's a great conch

Speaker 3 and Ottomans. Do you know what Mise Plus means? No.

Speaker 3 It's a culinary term. It means everything in its place.
Everything in its place. A chef would say mise on plus, meaning everything goes where it's supposed to be.

Speaker 3 You know, I love Spielberg movies, especially when he portrays families, because that's what I think a family should look like.

Speaker 3 The living room. Like, if you ever see E.T., right, everything's disheveled.
Yeah. And there's cops.
And you know what I mean? It just looks real, right? He does middle-class Samaritan.

Speaker 3 Yeah, when I looked in your place, it's like, bougie.

Speaker 3 Bougie. Yeah.
Your house is twice the price and twice the size of mine. Yeah, but the inside's garbage.
That's not. Right, right.
There's like fucking cat shit all over the fucking place.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but yeah, but yeah, but you guys have fancy furniture. You have expensive stuff in your home.
I don't have expensive stuff. Like a couch, how much was your couch?

Speaker 3 Well, it was a gift. So you got it for free.

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 3 It was a gift from someone that owns a furniture company that I know. Yeah, how much was that? I think it was like a couple grand.

Speaker 3 And your couch was probably 20 grand. No.
30. 22.
22 grand. Yeah, but it's for funk Italy.
That's what they charge. See, you are fancy.
I'm not fancy. That's what they charge, right, Jules?

Speaker 3 Like, how much is your bed?

Speaker 3 My bed was

Speaker 3 the bed frame. No, not the bed itself.
And you don't do temper-pedic. No, I do.

Speaker 3 Whatever our sponsor is. Whatever our sponsor is.

Speaker 3 No, no, no. But like, what's the most expensive?

Speaker 3 You buy expensive stuff. The last expensive thing I bought for real, genuinely.
My thing wasn't expensive. It was hand-built for the room.

Speaker 3 So yes, it was expensive. No, my buddy did it.
I don't know him though. Let me go backwards.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 I know, I don't know his last name. Castro? Yeah.

Speaker 3 I built.

Speaker 3 I love the pottery show because, like the Great British Bake Off,

Speaker 3 when you lose,

Speaker 3 they're sad. They cry.
The host of the show cries. He'll look at someone's pot.
He'll look at this, the ceramic mug, and he'll go, the composition's quite incredible.

Speaker 3 And look the thinness that you've done at the base i can tell

Speaker 3 i can tell yeah you put something extra in there and that's what i really appreciate about this

Speaker 3 he cries all the time

Speaker 3 it makes my heart glow yeah so i love the show because i don't care about pottery really although i'm supposed to do it to my therapist but

Speaker 3 they root for each other and if someone's done early Like on

Speaker 3 chopped, if you finish your cooking, you're not going to fucking help someone cook a meal. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 When they finish on the great on the pottery show, they'll go help someone else put them in the thing so they dry fast. Oh, no, no, that's what the British want.

Speaker 3 So I'm saying, well, these are all British people. This is British, too.

Speaker 3 That's what mate. Mate, mate, you need you need more cumin.
I've got extra cumin.

Speaker 3 Have you got extra cumin? And the guy will rush and give it to him. Yeah, I know what cumin is.
Thanks for the extra cumin.

Speaker 3 It's like, have I talked about the antique road show on this show before? Antique road show? But I have a story. Yeah, me too.
Go. So I love it when, like, you know, the appraiser

Speaker 3 gets something that's so rare, they begin to cry. Yeah, I love that.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 I've studied.

Speaker 3 I went to Auchford and read about the history of this ornament. Never saw it in the flesh.

Speaker 3 I cannot believe that it is in front of me right now. How much is it worth?

Speaker 3 $14.95.

Speaker 3 No, but they get like, you know what I mean? This China Mingling Tao, right? With his hands and clay, right? This is when he lost his hands during the fucking war between the monks, right?

Speaker 3 With his numbs, he carved, you know what I mean, the statue. This cat? Yeah, he died

Speaker 3 while carving, right? And his cousin Eddie, his cousin Eddie, had to grab it from Ming's hand and put it, you know, and it's like

Speaker 3 the only thing alive. The only thing that exists.
Left from that from Ming. Left from that, from that.
His cousin Eddie grabbed his hands and still shaped it while he was dead. There was another one.

Speaker 3 When he finished the sculpture. One guy was like, hey man, I just bought this Mexican painting at the thrift store, right?

Speaker 3 And the lady's like,

Speaker 3 where is it? Like, where do you hang it?

Speaker 3 In the garage, man. Yeah.
It's in the garage by the tool shed. Yeah.
That painting's $5 million.

Speaker 3 Shut up. Yeah.
Like, who's going to be? Did you ever see the one? This is the best one. Did you ever see the one of this man, right?

Speaker 3 He had this blanket,

Speaker 3 right?

Speaker 3 He had this blanket that was like... Like a throw blanket? Yeah, that was just growing up in his house.
You know what I mean? Just by the toilet, right?

Speaker 3 Right? Yeah. You should see it.
It's really great. And when she tells him what it's worth, he begins to cry because, dude, it's so touching.
Can I just show it to you? Let's look it up. Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 It is so touching. It's like this Navajo blanket.
40 to 1816, and it's called a Ute.

Speaker 3 First phase. A ute? A ute first phase wearing blanket.
Watch, he gets emotional, the old man. But it's Navajo made.
They were made for ute Chiefs. And they were very, very valuable at the time.

Speaker 3 This is Navajo weaving in its purest form. All of these things that we see later with diamonds and all kinds of different patterns comes much later than this.
This is just pure linear design.

Speaker 3 This is the beginning of Navajo weaving. I'd wipe my ass with that.

Speaker 3 If that wasn't the house, I wouldn't talk about that. Would you? It looks like a rug, it looks like a bathroom mat.

Speaker 3 Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
We see these, we've got a little bit of damage over there.

Speaker 3 It's made from hand-woven wool, but it's so finely done it's like silk it would repel water and this here is dyed with indigo dyes it was a very valuable dye at the time it's an extraordinary piece of art it's extremely rare it is the most important thing that's come into the roadshow that i've seen do you make sense at all of what you're looking at here in terms of value i haven't a clue are you a wealthy man no well sir um i'm still a little nervous here i have to tell you uh

Speaker 3 on a really bad day, this textile would be worth $350,000.

Speaker 3 $350,000

Speaker 3 for a fucking blanket? Look at him. Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's going to fucking die. Yeah.
He's like, I'm going to fucking shit myself. No, I used to fuck my cousin on this rock in the backyard.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 Yeah. 300, what does he say here?

Speaker 3 On a good day, it's about a half a million dollars. Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 And you had no idea. I had no idea.
I just lay on the back of a chair. Well, sir, you have a national treasure.
Wow. A national treasure.
She.

Speaker 3 When you walked in with this, I just about died.

Speaker 3 Congratulations.

Speaker 3 Congratulations. I can't believe this.
Okay, enough of that. Two things here.
Okay. I'm pro.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 Good for this man.

Speaker 3 Easy.

Speaker 3 he can't even he's gonna die before he can spend any of that money

Speaker 3 Well in to me, I'd be like Already in my mind, right? I'm gonna leave my wife

Speaker 3 I'm gonna you know sell I'm never gonna talk to my kids. I'm gonna move I'm moving to Hawaii cocaine right and hookers

Speaker 3 Vegas that's what he's seeking

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's what's going through But the other side of me the other part of me that's like uh

Speaker 3 not to sound like one of these dickheads, but it's like a Native American but in this old white guy has it right kit carson though right his great great great grandfather or whatever knew kit carson yeah i don't know who kit carson is i don't know who that is either yeah i don't know we're not good with stuff like that but like what they're saying is is that if they could prove that it was kit carson's blanket then it's worth like triple the the amount really yeah yeah but i just think like how does this old white guy have like a chief an indian a navajo indian chief's ute blanket that seems like not nice oh you think that he stole it like his ancestors

Speaker 3 obviously killed

Speaker 3 a cheap.

Speaker 3 And then they passed the morning.

Speaker 3 Let's trade blankets, right?

Speaker 3 Right, back in the day, right? He went to an Indian, right? Let's trade blankets, right? And the Indian's like, oh, okay, right. And you're like, mine is way warmer than yours.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 Gave him the blanket. They all died from smallpox.
And this guy gets a half a million dollars. He gets half a million dollars.
Bad person. Yeah, yeah.
Okay, you know what? I take it back.

Speaker 3 Fuck that old guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here, Christopher Hudson Carson, better known as Kit Carson, was an American frontiersman. He was a fur trapper, wilderness guide, Indian.
Indiana fur. Yeah, fur.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah. Wilderness guide.

Speaker 3 Indian agent and U.S. Army officer.
He became a frontier legend in his own life biographies, news articles. So clearly,

Speaker 3 Kit Carson stole this or killed someone for. Maybe he was friends with the Indian because it says he was a Native American.
He was an Indian agent. What does an Indian agent mean?

Speaker 3 Do you know what that is? Does that mean he... Well, no, Indians back then, right?

Speaker 3 They wanted to do a lot lot of commercial work. Oh, he was an agent for the pictures.
No. No, an audition for an agent.
Yeah, for the pictures. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 Back then, they probably didn't have TV, right? They didn't have TV back then? No, no, no. When did TV get started? I don't know, in the 50s, 60s? Yeah, 1660s, 1670s.

Speaker 3 Okay, so it says Indian fighter. Carson was 19 when he set off with Ewen Young's expedition, Rocky Mountains.
He had addition to furs, and the company sold a free-spirited rugged mountain men.

Speaker 3 Carson sought action and adventure. He found what he's looking for in killing and scalping Indians.
Carson probably killed and took the scalp of his first Indian. He was 19.
Yeah. Yeah, this guy,

Speaker 3 this old man that we first saw,

Speaker 3 is the descendant of an Indian murderer.

Speaker 3 This is not a joyful rug story. Yeah, but what if we had a box next to him? He just had scalps.

Speaker 3 He's like, we had these two in the day, Rob.

Speaker 3 So this guy obviously was not a notion about Indians softened over the years. Okay, he found himself more and more in their company as he grew older.
You have to. I think you have to be.

Speaker 3 Well, you scalp enough of them, you finally feel bad.

Speaker 3 David Roberts believes his marriage to an Arapaho woman named Singing Grass softened the stern and pragmatic mountaineers opportunism. Wait, he married a woman named Singing Grass.
Dude,

Speaker 3 you always think that there's wolves in it,

Speaker 3 right? Like Sleepy Wolf or whatever,

Speaker 3 which is Joe Biden,

Speaker 3 or something like that, right?

Speaker 3 Sleepy Wolf. Or like, you know, something like that.
Yeah. But sleep, what is it? Sleeing Grass? Singing Grass was his name.
It is singing grass.

Speaker 3 That sounds like what Rudy's name would be. Yeah, singing, no.

Speaker 3 What would it be? Sharpie knife? Yeah, Sharpie.

Speaker 3 Bloody knife. Yeah, something like that.
Her bloody knife.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So, oh my God.
Carson had several encounters. Look at this, the Blackfoot, the group of TP with three Indian corpses inside.
The three had died of smallpox. This guy.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 And I love how it says his, as an Indian agent, he saw to those under his watch were treated with honesty and fairness. So we know that's not true, by the way.

Speaker 3 That's like a slave owner being like, I was nice to my slaves.

Speaker 3 Such bullshit. The historian David Roberts said his marriage to his singing grass softened the stern and pragmatic mind.

Speaker 3 So he married a fucking Native American woman, and only then was he like, that ain't so bad. Yeah.
Yeah, these are.

Speaker 3 This guy clearly left his family and gave it to this guy,

Speaker 3 someone very important thing, and now they're all dead. And now yours would be Yelling Spear.
Yelling, Yelling Spear, Yelling Spear, something like that. Yelling Sun.
Yelling Sun. Yelling Sun.

Speaker 3 Yelling Sun. What's mine?

Speaker 3 Sleepy Panda.

Speaker 3 You would be. Everybody liked it in the house.
They did.

Speaker 3 Well, it'd have to be something with sleep. You would be.
Well, okay, singing grass is pretty. Lazy.
No, no, sleepy, because it has to be like

Speaker 3 sleepy or tired or restful.

Speaker 3 Restful.

Speaker 3 You know what?

Speaker 3 You're like a tired nugget. You're like a nugget of a person.
Tired nugget. Tired nugget.

Speaker 3 Sleepy. Sleepy nugget.
Sleepy nugget. So sleepy nugget.
Sleepy nugget. Screamy sun or yelly sun.
Yeah. Yelling sun.
Yelling sun. Yeah.
Bloody knife. Bloody knife.
And what's Andres?

Speaker 3 Fancy bean.

Speaker 3 We theory at it. Stays the same.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 There's another antique road show that I have to tell you. Oh, wait, let me tell you real fast.

Speaker 3 I sat next to a guy in a plane. We were traveling somewhere.
He's like, where are you going? Nah, da daise. I usually avoid it, but he was a nice guy.
And I said, oh, I'm a stand-up.

Speaker 3 I'm actually going to wherever, St. Louis for a...
I said, what do you do? And he goes, I'm on the Antiques Road Show. He's one of the presenters.
Oh, wow. And I was like, no shit.

Speaker 3 And rudely,

Speaker 3 and I felt bad afterwards, but I said, that guy's still on? And I didn't mean it like... Oh, it's going stronger than ever.
I know, but I didn't mean it like that. I just meant like, where is it?

Speaker 3 I've never, I haven't seen it in years except on the internet. He's like, yeah, yeah, it is.
And he was very cool. And we had a conversation.
I said, what's the craziest

Speaker 3 story that you've ever seen? And I think it's on YouTube. We can look for it.
A man was a World War II veteran

Speaker 3 and

Speaker 3 he was a World War II veteran and World War II. And so this

Speaker 3 man right here, so the G, the 1960 GMT Master Roller. I've seen this one.

Speaker 3 He goes, he said to me, it was the craziest thing. And

Speaker 3 he was at this.

Speaker 3 He was at this one of the. He was a man right here.
He kept the receipts and all the boxes and stuff

Speaker 3 he was in germany yeah a friend of a friend said he bought one for his dad and himself that's exactly right he's exactly right

Speaker 3 that's exactly right yeah yeah and he goes um his cat his his the army captain said um make sure you buy make sure you buy a role x one while they're because they're going to be worth money so back then he was an army guy like that would make 150 a month I think it's got to be less than that.

Speaker 3 Less than that. And the watches were so expensive.

Speaker 3 To me, I'd be like, no. I bought my Rolex GMT.

Speaker 3 The GMT Master. He's got all the receipts.

Speaker 3 I bought it in Germany, in

Speaker 3 Swibruken. Swibrucken, Germany.
Wait, dude. They showed the receipt at the beginning there.
$230 is what he paid for the Rolex. Yeah, but he didn't make a lot.
And so to me, I'm like, this guy.

Speaker 3 Look at that. Look at that thing.
Still working.

Speaker 3 Let me show you. Let me get to the part when they tell him the price because they go through all this.
It gets emotional. Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 It's actually probably the sweetest thing I've ever seen in my life. So look at that.
He paid $230 for it. Said the Rolex itself was $104.

Speaker 3 One of them was $104. The one that he gave his dad was $120.
And then they bought

Speaker 3 a neck chain for $1.60

Speaker 3 and two film, two pornographic films,

Speaker 3 each for $1.95 that ended up being $3.95. The original Two Girls, One Cup.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 And this was in Zweibrachen, Germany. And none other than Hitler himself sold him the watch.
J.J. Hitler.
That was his name. People don't know that.
It wasn't Adolph. It was Julius Hitler.

Speaker 3 Adolf was his middle name. So he tells him what he paid.
He tells him what it's worth. Hold on, let's get to it.
Yeah. He tells him, he does this thing.
Oh, you've got all the right stuff.

Speaker 3 You've got all the Nazi paperwork.

Speaker 3 He's like, I got it. And it's even, he's still got the stamp here.
Maybe this is it right here.

Speaker 3 Dollars.

Speaker 3 He just said it right there. $45,000.

Speaker 8 would be worth today between $35,000 and $45,000.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 8 this watch is worth much more because you saved the box and all the paperwork for it easily today. It's $65,000 to $75,000 in the market.

Speaker 8 Probably more than a month's pay in the military right now.

Speaker 3 Wow.

Speaker 3 I had no idea.

Speaker 3 Well, look at he's he's getting emotional now. So sweet and speechless.

Speaker 3 If you would have told me $1,500, I would have been happy.

Speaker 3 That's great. There's one I want to show you.
But can I tell you something about this that I learned afterwards? He was a molesting. Yes.
He molested me. No.

Speaker 3 That watch was a Ute Navajo chief's watch, and he stole it.

Speaker 3 What's the other one? So the other one was this lady. Yeah.
I guess her grandmother or great-grandmother, right? Had a boarding house. And she boarded like the first professional baseball team.

Speaker 3 But they were just kids, right?

Speaker 3 This guy Spalding, you know, the Spalding Empire.

Speaker 3 The company that makes it.

Speaker 3 The Wright brothers did planes. Oh, whoever.
They could have been baseball players.

Speaker 3 But it's like, and they stayed at this house. So she has the original baseball cards, the very first ones.
What? Yeah.

Speaker 3 You should see how much. What is it? 18th row show baseball cards yeah original yeah there it is it's got to be one of the top ones it's got one that one it's got to be it's that one

Speaker 9 back in 1871 my great-great-grandmother had a boarding house in boston

Speaker 9 and she housed the boston baseball team most of them had come from cincinnati red stockings and were among the first

Speaker 9 to be paid to play baseball.

Speaker 10 Do you know what they were paid in those days, the first professional teams?

Speaker 9 Well, I know the Cincinnati Reds, the first 90s.

Speaker 3 Push on for a second.

Speaker 3 This is when the appraiser gets emotional, too. This is what's good about old white people.
This is the one good...

Speaker 3 That they've got so much fun little knick-knacky tidbits, you know? This is fun. Yeah.
This is fun. This is fun.
I mean, they're terrible. Some of them are really bad people and they hate you.
No.

Speaker 3 She hates you. No, this one, no.

Speaker 3 These types of white women

Speaker 3 love me. They asked asked me if I read.
Because they don't think you can? No. One time I was at fucking, I was in Columbus, Ohio, and I was at a bookstore, right? And I was really depressed.

Speaker 3 So I bought like a Deepak Chopra book. I was so depressed.
I was about to kill myself. And

Speaker 3 I was sitting on the curb and I was just opening it up and reading. And this old lady comes, just like her.

Speaker 3 Young man.

Speaker 3 I go, what? What? Am I not supposed to be sitting here? I always get defensive. Yeah, you do.
Yeah, you get nervous. I stood up.
I I was like, what? I'm sorry. I put the cigarette out.

Speaker 3 You know what I mean? You read?

Speaker 3 I go, yeah, I just, you know what I mean? It's like, oh,

Speaker 3 I'm so glad the youth are reading books because that's what I was raised with, reading books. You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 I just read, you know, Sun Also Rise by Hamming May just again, again, you know, what a great. Have you read that book, right? You've never.
I don't know who that is.

Speaker 3 And we just had this conversation about reading.

Speaker 3 Well, because people don't read. No, but that's what I love about old white ladies like this.
Some of them. They talk about yarning.
Because if you were down in Little Rock, it'd have been young man.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And you'd have gone, oh, oh, sorry.
Oh, I gotta. Yeah.
She goes, what are you doing here, fella? All right. What are you doing here, little Chinese fella?

Speaker 3 But the ending of this, guess how much those are. So hold on.

Speaker 3 Guess how much they are. Well, I want to hear what she says they got paid.
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 9 No, the Cincinnati Reds, the first $9,300 I read was the entire payroll for the baseball team at that time.

Speaker 3 $9,300 for the whole team. For the whole team.
For a whole year. Yeah, that's five bucks a person.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 All right. Let's see.

Speaker 10 Now, all these cards went to your great-grandfather.

Speaker 10 That's how he got them, and they got handed down to you.

Speaker 3 They all look like that.

Speaker 9 Apparently, he collected them, and he unfortunately cut them down to fit his little album.

Speaker 3 So they're all. Whoa, look at Harry Schaefer was blind.

Speaker 3 That man is blind. Yeah.

Speaker 3 God, that's wild. David S.
Bernstahl.

Speaker 3 That's the look where he looks at immigrants in the cage. And they took a little second and signed it.
Okay, let's see how much this is worth. It says it at the end, usually, right?

Speaker 3 She gets emotional.

Speaker 3 I want to, yes.

Speaker 10 Okay, I'm going to value this as an archive. Everything here, if you're going to insure it,

Speaker 10 I would insure it for at least

Speaker 10 million dollars

Speaker 3 are you serious

Speaker 3 oh my

Speaker 5 holy smokes

Speaker 10 it is the greatest archive i have ever had at the road show really

Speaker 3 holy smokes

Speaker 3 guess i better put it in a bank vault

Speaker 3 This is very funny. And yes, I am going down this path.
But it is always funny. The old old white people have the same reaction.
Like, Anti-Trojo would be so better if it was a black show.

Speaker 3 Oh, it would have been like the best. They would have wiped

Speaker 3 as soon as

Speaker 3 it would have been already in a box in the car. No, just

Speaker 3 like the reactions would be so much better.

Speaker 3 She goes, oh, my, oh, my goodness.

Speaker 3 If it was like an old black lady and they were like, these are worth it, she's like, oh, shit.

Speaker 3 I know. It would have been so much more fun to watch someone lose their shit.
You would see somebody flipping in the background.

Speaker 3 She's doing flips.

Speaker 3 You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 I mean, it's a million dollars. And she goes, oh, my.
Oh, my. Well,

Speaker 3 put in a bank vault.

Speaker 3 Sell it.

Speaker 3 Sell it. You're going to die soon.

Speaker 3 That is insane.

Speaker 3 Prostitutes, like the other guy. That's the first thing that the first, honestly, though, let's think about it like this.
You move out of your house now. Okay.

Speaker 3 And you don't even know that when they're clearing it out, there's stuff in there from the previous owners.

Speaker 3 And they find something like when you're, oh, you're redoing that when you're fixing the house. Yeah.
Which is my dream.

Speaker 3 My dream is like they rip a wall and they're like, hey, there's a painting in here. And you take it and they're like, dude, this is worth two to three million dollars.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 What's your first, what's your literal first thing you're doing right away? Bobby, this is worth $2 million, this painting.

Speaker 3 Jules, Kalelek, get out.

Speaker 3 No, no, no. It would just be like.

Speaker 3 Would you give them money? Would you right away? Would your first thought be like, I'm going to break? No, nothing. Right.
Okay, smart. No, not a dime.
No,

Speaker 3 we would take a vacation, though. Where?

Speaker 3 Anywhere they would want. I would say, just anywhere you guys want to go, let's go.
Would you do like private? What do you mean? Would you fly private or you still do commercial?

Speaker 3 First class, but for commercial. Right, still commercial.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a dream of winning a lot of money

Speaker 3 and flying my whole family private somewhere, but me being on another plane.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like putting them on one and then putting me on one.
Well, I see, I used to do that.

Speaker 3 A girl broke up with me kind of because when we would fly,

Speaker 3 she would be in the coach. You put her in coach?

Speaker 3 You're such a dick. Yeah, and the best is when your girlfriend, you're in first class, and they have to walk by.
I know. It's my favorite.

Speaker 3 Why would you put her in coach?

Speaker 3 Because I think the couple of times I did it, they only had one first class, but a bunch of coach. What about the other times? What? What about the other times you did it?

Speaker 3 No, those are the only couple times I've done it. Oh, they only had one first class seat?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I only had one, like, it's either sit and coach with my girl, and I would look at her, and I go, it was, her name was Christine, and I'd go, I'm just gonna take the get the

Speaker 3 one first class. And she'd be like, what? You don't even need the extra legroom.
I know, I just, I just need it.

Speaker 3 Why? Luxury? Yeah.

Speaker 3 But you never offered it to her?

Speaker 3 There was only one available. Correct.
Between you and her, you never offered it to her once? Is she on stage performing? I don't think she is.

Speaker 3 Oh, shit. Okay, let's cut to right now.
Yeah. Kalila and you, you're flying to New York.
It's a long flight.

Speaker 3 Mr. Lee,

Speaker 3 Mr. Lee, we're going to refund you.

Speaker 3 I'm at the desk. Mr.
Lee,

Speaker 3 look, we are so embarrassed, but we've overbooked. We have one ticket in first class.
The other one is in the 38th row by the bathroom. And it's actually bathroom.
Two babies.

Speaker 3 And on the other side is broken seat, and that's the jumper seat for the flight attendant. So those two seats, what would you like us to do?

Speaker 3 It's the only flight we got to New York. This is it.

Speaker 3 Well, what I would immediately do is going into go into a false routine. Okay.
In terms of like,

Speaker 3 I would faint sickness. Right, Mr.
Lee, we've seen this before. We need you to faint.
No, it's a Kalila. Oh.

Speaker 3 I don't feel good.

Speaker 3 She'd be like, what do you mean? I don't know. I think I need my

Speaker 3 medication. Oh, let's get your meds.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where is it? Oh, yeah, I still.

Speaker 3 you know, you could take it, sweetie. Oh, you'd say that? Yeah, to her, but I would also faint.
Right. You know what I mean? So you'd put it on.
Yeah, I would put on like, oh, I feel dizzy.

Speaker 3 And she's like, no, no, you go ahead. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then do you say, yeah, yeah, okay.

Speaker 3 Like right away.

Speaker 3 No, are you sure none of that? No, no, no, no. Really? I would offer it to her first.
Yeah. Right.
And then, you know what I mean, faint sickness of some sort.

Speaker 3 And then when she gave it back to me, I would take it right away. Bobby.
What would you do? If me and the old lady were flying somewhere and they had two, I would let her sit in the first class.

Speaker 3 And that's what it was. I offered it.
No. I would offer it for it.
But you knew you were playing the game to get out of it. What?

Speaker 3 You have to, no, you have to fight for your right.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 You have to fight for your right to take first class? No, you have to do it in a chivalrous way.

Speaker 3 Because I'm chivalrous. I'm a man.
You are chivalrous. Yeah, yeah.
And so I would have to put up that front. Sure.
Right. But I also have to, you know what I mean, play the card.

Speaker 3 I have to play my card too.

Speaker 3 Play my hand. Right.
Right. Because you're like, I'm a performer.
I need the rest. You're doing that thing.
Even if we're going on a regular vacation. But just to go rest.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 So,

Speaker 3 because there's no harm in that. I agree.
Right?

Speaker 3 By the way. I'm giving you the option.
Maybe she doesn't even care. Some people do.
She does care. She cares.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Do your feet touch the ground when you're all the way back in the seat?

Speaker 3 I just, I see your feet like swinging like a little kid on a toilet. Have you ever flown private? Be real.
No. But never?

Speaker 3 You know who else hasn't? Who? Me. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I refuse to do it. No.
If somebody else offers it to me, I would do it. No, I don't.
No, because Buddy Hawley. What happened?

Speaker 3 He died. He died? Yeah, yeah, Buddy Hawley and Richie Vallins died, and then Hopper.

Speaker 3 Who else died private? In a private plane? GFK.

Speaker 3 No, that's not. Junior.
Yes, that one did. Yeah.
Yeah, GFK. The other one got his head fell off.

Speaker 3 Well, half of it was there. Did you ever think about that?

Speaker 3 I talked about this the other day for some reason. She's scooping his head back into his brain.
I mean,

Speaker 3 what would you...

Speaker 3 To me, once that happened. As someone who plays Warzone, Warzone, did you ever watch the footage and be like, that's a good shot? Kill shot.

Speaker 3 Head shot. Yeah, yeah.
That's insanely funny. That's insane.
It's crazy. I mean, there was two shooters.
Yeah,

Speaker 3 yeah. But just imagine scooping.

Speaker 3 Your loved one's head. Yeah.
Like, imagine scooping Khila's head back into her brain, right?

Speaker 3 And then after that, it's like, that's it. That's it.
Life is completely dark. I mean, how could you be anything else? I mean, I don't know.
If you see you, are you laughing? No.

Speaker 3 Yeah, well, you're laughing. Oh, my God.
It's dark. She doesn't even know.
Do you know who JFK was?

Speaker 3 The president? He wasn't.

Speaker 3 He was the archaeologist. He was the most famous American archaeologist.
Do you know what we're talking about? He got shot. You know that, right? His head got shot and killed.

Speaker 3 Yeah, can I see the video? Oh, my goodness, what are you being fucking?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'm curious. Do you know what you want to show? You know, it's probably not on YouTube.
Do you know what you need to show her is the Zapruder film? Yeah. You know what that is?

Speaker 3 Do you know, do you know, do you know about any of this stuff? There's conspiracy that JFK was,

Speaker 3 there was two people, two separate gunshots. Here's the Zapruder film there.
You got to watch the whole thing. I can't really scan through it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no. Well, this is, look, this is kind of an example of, look at the bullet goes through.
Down and away. Down and away.
You need to really watch.

Speaker 3 This is the shot. Look at how beautiful that shot was.
Yeah,

Speaker 3 his head got shot in that car. In that car right there next to his wife.
It happened in Houston or Dallas, right?

Speaker 3 In

Speaker 3 Dallas? Why do I want to? I thought Dallas, then you said Houston, and I thought I was wrong. Yeah, I think Dallas.
Dallas. It was Dallas, right? Fancy? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 the saddest shit. It was so sad.

Speaker 3 Right there, they were having a great time. Yeah, maybe three minutes after that, it was the worst time.
You ever think about what's the last thing he said right before he got shot? Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's hot,

Speaker 3 it's hot out here. Yeah, it's hot out here.
Oh, that suits. How long is this ride? These Italian suits.
You know, what if he said something racist right before he got shot? Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's like, these guinea whops can't make a suit for shit.

Speaker 3 Right, right.

Speaker 3 Wow.

Speaker 3 You need to watch that. You need to do your research about that.
You'll find out some crazy stuff and you'll be getting a conspiracy depth. It's dark.
Very dark. I want to end this on a happy note.

Speaker 3 I'm serious. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I love that we can talk and laugh and then apologize for our mistakes. And it means a lot to me.

Speaker 3 I'm sorry I hit you in this. It still hurts.
Bob, I said I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 I'm just being real. And genuinely, I love you.
And I love you too. And I'm sorry.
I'm just throbbing pain. But look at me.
I'm sorry. You're welcome.
No. No.

Speaker 3 You don't say you're welcome to. How do you say it? You just say

Speaker 3 you can say thanks. Heary, hear you.
Thanks. Thank you.

Speaker 3 You mean a lot to me.

Speaker 3 Hey, hey, shut up. Turn the music down.
Look at me real fast.

Speaker 3 I love you.

Speaker 3 I love you, too.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 Thank you for being a bad friend.