Pumpkins, Andy's Pandy, and Bobocopia ft. Rick Glassman

Speaker 1 You two are bad friends.

Speaker 2 Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 2 White dude and Asian dude.

Speaker 2 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 2 Bad friends.

Speaker 2 Back on the chain, gang.

Speaker 2 Back on the.

Speaker 2 Back on the chain.

Speaker 2 Back on the chain. Gang.

Speaker 2 I don't know any other words. I saw a picture of you.

Speaker 1 It was the happiest days of our lives.

Speaker 2 Whoa.

Speaker 2 What a song.

Speaker 2 And now I'm stuck at home because I got the bug.

Speaker 2 I'm so sick. I need a hug.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Test, test, testing.
One, two, three, testing. Welcome to another episode.
Testing.

Speaker 1 Hi, Richard. So happy to have you.

Speaker 2 Andrew, good to be back.

Speaker 1 I love you. What happened with the mic? Do you have two mics there?

Speaker 2 No, he brought his own mic. I brought mine, which is like irritating.
No, it's good. It's good.
No, it's good. Thanks, Andrews.

Speaker 1 That's smart.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Well, he did that when he came to Tiger Belly.
He brought his own earphones, mic, because he had sprays. Yeah, I don't know if you've heard.
I have Corona.

Speaker 2 And I'm literally in the hot seat. I know.
But it doesn't linger for like weeks. Yeah, well, tell that to the judge.

Speaker 1 Welcome back to Bad Friends.

Speaker 2 Welcome back to my favorite family, Bad Friends family.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 we've got jewels in the house

Speaker 2 we've got

Speaker 2 she's playing her fucking uh video game with her friends right online you love it huh what's the game called um mobile mobile legends we've got uh

Speaker 2 andrew our my beautiful my one of my bestest friends andrew sentino yeah

Speaker 2 fangul fangul forget about it

Speaker 2 and then we've got um rick sherlock holmes what are you wearing

Speaker 2 It's a couple of things. Yeah.

Speaker 2 First of all, obviously. Is this a crime scene from the 1800s? What the fuck is going on here?

Speaker 2 Okay, are you going to burn me and give me a chance to reply, or do you have a list of jokes you want to get through? I have no jokes. I'm just saying, what the fuck are you wearing? Moriarty.

Speaker 2 You think you're Moriarty? All right. All right.

Speaker 2 This is coming out on Columbus Day, and I wanted people to know that I wasn't making a joke when I, if we ever get to explain my perspective on Christopher Columbus and what Thanksgiving stands for.

Speaker 2 So I just wanted to make sure I didn't make make a joke of it. And also, it's October weekend suit.
Uh-huh. So,

Speaker 2 Andrew, we made a mistake. Did we make a mistake?

Speaker 1 I got to tell you something. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Rick and I spoke before the podcast. He said, I want to dress up for the podcast.
I said, that's a great idea.

Speaker 1 He said, I want to honor the great Christopher Columbus, who

Speaker 2 all of us, hold on, let me finish. Who all of us,

Speaker 1 myself, and Rick,

Speaker 1 people like Rick and I,

Speaker 1 white American, hardworking males. We respect and we love Chris, and we think the way he acquired this country was just, and

Speaker 2 that's it.

Speaker 2 Andrew, we are out of time. And I have to say, and I have to say that I was before the pandemic, I was in the Pachanga Casino, and I was hanging out with my buddy Littlefoot.
Right? And he's on

Speaker 2 Land Before Time, Littlefoot?

Speaker 2 How come he isn't? Where has he been for like the last 20 years? Well,

Speaker 2 they're going to make a remake one day. He can't be in it.

Speaker 2 He's not a little.

Speaker 2 He's Bigfoot. What? Who's Littlefoot? From Land Before Time.
Was there a Littlefoot in Land Before Time? Oh, shit. What do you? Yes.
There was?

Speaker 2 You don't know your own friend's credits? Maybe you should have him on.

Speaker 2 Anywho, Christopher Columbus, although, be it, you know, discovered the country, they did some bad things as well. Yeah, and also he didn't.
He didn't discover the country.

Speaker 2 That's like, oh, look, I've discovered bad friends. We have the indigenous, and here I am to say, this is mine.
That's what Chris Columbus did. And as much as I don't want want to date you, Santino.

Speaker 2 Wait a minute. I'm not.
Wait a minute. You're out of time.
I don't like what he did. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And what did he do? He not only did. Okay, I'll tell you what he did.
He left Spain. Okay.

Speaker 2 Thank God. Yeah, he came over the shithole.
He came over here. And you remember the thing that people say he didn't land on Plymouth Rock? Plymouth Rock did something.
Landed on him.

Speaker 2 Something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's because of what Chris Columbus did. Plymouth Rock was an asteroid.

Speaker 2 We'll be right back. After a word for Marshall Rug Gallery.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 if you're looking for just the right flooring, you need choices. And at Marshall Carpet One, you'll certainly find them.
Yeah. We're back.
So anyway,

Speaker 2 let's talk. I don't want to talk about history right now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So

Speaker 2 I want to talk about what we've been dealing with within our family for the last couple of weeks. Yeah.
Which be it is

Speaker 2 that one of our family members,

Speaker 2 the Red King, right, got a little bit of Cocoa,

Speaker 2 You got a little COVID.

Speaker 2 A little bit of COVID. Do people know how it happened or no?

Speaker 1 I do.

Speaker 2 No, but do people know? Have you talked about it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I talked about it on my podcast on Whiskey Ginger with Dr. Drew in great detail.
I got it watching football outside, having a couple of beers.

Speaker 2 Fuck.

Speaker 2 And then

Speaker 1 we played tackle football with a bunch of people we meet on Craigslist every Wednesday night.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Shirtless.

Speaker 2 Why? What do you mean? That's... Andrew,

Speaker 2 COVID is out there now. You don't know what your friends are doing, let alone what strangers on the internet are doing.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 1 I put up a post on Craigslist and I said, if any buds want to meet up, we're going to be at Pam Pacific Park.

Speaker 2 Are you asking if people are tested?

Speaker 1 I'm only trying to test their integrity and their athletic ability. I want them to show up and show off.
And I got to tell you, it's shirtless. It's skins versus skins.

Speaker 1 And every time you score a touchdown, you have to... Well, you're supposed to lick the sweat of another opposing player.

Speaker 1 I don't know if that's how I got it or I got it from sitting watching the game outside, but either way.

Speaker 2 Because I've been very mindful myself.

Speaker 2 I don't know if you know this, but I have a charity once a week, mud wrestling with the homeless. I get it.
I get it.

Speaker 2 I mud wrestling with the homeless. And, you know, before the pandemic, you know, we used to get completely naked, get in a vat of mud, and we would just go at it.
And now we all wear condoms. I see.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, we all wear condoms, and we also wear our face masks, right? But our bodies touch, but you can't get via that. I get the game, right? Let me do one.
Yeah, do one.

Speaker 2 He gets the game. He has, he has one.
I get it. He has one.
Go ahead. Okay.

Speaker 2 My girlfriend and I were fucking each other.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 wait, what is it? What is it? I don't remember what it was.

Speaker 2 Do one more of them.

Speaker 2 Do one more. Andrew, do one more.
Keep it tight.

Speaker 1 I got COVID.

Speaker 2 We're out of time. I get it.
That's it. All right, here.
I got it. I got it.
I got it. I got it.

Speaker 2 So, my girlfriend,

Speaker 2 Betty, lives in London. And when she traveled over, her arms are tired, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2 And she had to wear a mask. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 You could swear on this, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. On her pussy.

Speaker 2 Or,

Speaker 2 I want to start the whole podcast over.

Speaker 2 I do, I do.

Speaker 2 Bobby came in not just judgmental, but like,

Speaker 2 but bad. Bobby came in bad.
Yeah. And Andrew's not wearing the suit.
I'm hot. I'm real hot.
I'm also, I'm going to have to get a dry clean. So that means this podcast cost me minimum $25.

Speaker 2 I'm out of time.

Speaker 2 And it was just the game was simple.

Speaker 2 I don't get it. You guys are improvisers.
I do written jokes. I came prepared with a written monologue.
Because he he did it. I'll tell you how it works.
I'll just tell you how it works.

Speaker 2 He does a bit about doing the football thing, right? And it's funny. In my head, I'm like, oh, I get what he's doing, right? Maybe I'll add one.
A make-believe thing. I don't really.

Speaker 2 With a vad of mud. Yeah, yeah.
I don't really,

Speaker 2 you know, wrestle. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yours wasn't really funny, though. I got confused because Andrew told a story that I couldn't tell if it was real or not.
And it sounded like you were just like, oh, I'm Bobby. I'm a vad of mud.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Start it over.
That's how I really get it. Start it over.
Start it over for real i'm gonna start all right let's start it over

Speaker 2 really you promise you well start from the beginning yeah don't laugh at my no we're already going yeah no let's just start over for him

Speaker 2 we're already rolling let's start over for him i'm bad friends

Speaker 2 get over there i'm gonna introduce you all right all right i know this game you don't know the game okay all right and we're not playing that game anymore we're done with that portion of the

Speaker 2 we're done with that portion of the

Speaker 2 you fucking freak of nature

Speaker 2 i'm gonna tell you something right now

Speaker 2 i'm the one that goes maybe Rick Glassman can do it, and now I'm regretting my decision. I know Andrew was the one, and he told me to do that.

Speaker 2 Okay, and so what I'm saying to you right now is that you're making a fool out of yourself. You can call me Jew.
You can call me Jew.

Speaker 2 They're bad friends. Back on the chain, gang.

Speaker 2 I saw a picture of you. Of you.

Speaker 2 All right, Rick Glassman's our guest host, everybody, ladies and gentlemen. He's wearing a suit.
We should do all the joke that we did before. What are you, Sherlock Holmes?

Speaker 2 I'm going to be so much friendlier now. I know when I'm unlikable, and I've been so unlikable.
I'm going to do better.

Speaker 2 Andrew, Andrew, how are you feeling though? Because

Speaker 2 I call you periodically, and then you go, oh man, I'm tired.

Speaker 2 But it seems as though you're on the road to recovery, right?

Speaker 1 I feel pretty good.

Speaker 1 I feel very good, actually. It's been

Speaker 1 two weeks, and

Speaker 1 I feel much better than I did before, that's for sure. It's been

Speaker 1 it's a bummer. It's annoying.
It sucks. You are tired a lot.

Speaker 1 But I fought through it. I got the Halloween decorations hung up.
There are gravestones in the front yard.

Speaker 1 There's skeletons poking out of the ground.

Speaker 1 I put up lights. I washed both of the cars.

Speaker 1 I got into a fistfight with my neighbor, Jarlie. His name is Jarlie with a J, J-A-R-L-I-E.

Speaker 1 I choked him out, but I was wearing a mask while I did it.

Speaker 2 Halloween.

Speaker 1 I was wearing the Halloween Michael Myers mask while I did it. That's sick.

Speaker 1 But I'm feeling a little bit better, boys. I'm feeling a little bit better, and

Speaker 1 I miss my family. I miss my bad friend's family.

Speaker 1 I miss you. I miss Jules.
I cannot stand George, and I miss Andres.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I can't stand George either. Does COVID manifest itself into the eyebrows? Because it looks very thick today.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I puffed them up for you. I've been using this eyebrow thickening spray.
It costs $14.99.

Speaker 2 What's it called?

Speaker 2 What's it called? And is there a promo code?

Speaker 1 It's called Thighbrows. Go to thighbrow.com.
You want your eyebrows as thick as your thighs? Go to thighbrow.com. Get yourself some thighbrow spray.
$14.99

Speaker 1 24-ounce spray.

Speaker 2 I love it. Thighbrows.
Yeah, so I've been really concerned about you, Andrew, and this has been a really difficult

Speaker 2 couple of weeks for everybody. It was hard to keep it a secret.
You know, I'm a blabber mouth. Yes, you are.

Speaker 2 You think I told anybody?

Speaker 1 Yes, I do.

Speaker 2 Who do you know that I told?

Speaker 2 He just said,

Speaker 1 who do you know that I told?

Speaker 2 Yeah, who do you know that I told?

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 2 And we'll discuss it off air. I didn't tell anybody, you piece of shit.

Speaker 2 You keep it a fucking secret for two fucking weeks, bro. Let me tell you something.
Yeah, one person.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know you did.

Speaker 2 One person. Only one person.
Yeah, you.

Speaker 1 Who did you tell us?

Speaker 2 Go ahead and tell people because I know. Okay, well, I want to first listen.
I love this game, right?

Speaker 2 Because why don't you tell me who I told? I think that's a better route.

Speaker 1 No, why don't you tell everybody who you told?

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 I told my mom.

Speaker 1 I know you did. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because she called me.

Speaker 2 She said, I heard

Speaker 1 you got up a COVID. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How are you peeing?

Speaker 2 How are you peeing?

Speaker 2 Feeling.

Speaker 2 She said,

Speaker 1 she said, how are you peeing?

Speaker 2 I heard peeing. Peeing.
That's not not even peeing. He was saying feeling.
Yeah, I was asking. I get it.
I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's because he's doing an accent. He made it funny by putting it.

Speaker 2 You're not like Toast Intolerant, are you? I could tell by how much you're milking all of these questions. That's milking all of these questions with Bobby Lee.

Speaker 2 My name is Rick Lassman, and we'll be right back after a word for Marshall Running.

Speaker 2 Always with the snapping. What is this? Westside story? You know what it does remind me of now is Jeff Goldblum a bit.
Jeff Goldblum. Yeah, without medication.
Like on the fringe, Jeff Goldblum.

Speaker 2 Are you allowed to talk about Jeff's medication? I'm sorry, Andrew, but are you allowed to talk about another person's medication? Is he open that he does that? Yeah, I don't know that he does.

Speaker 2 I was just...

Speaker 2 Okay. Anyway.

Speaker 1 He's got Jeff.

Speaker 1 Jeff has been pretty open about his medication. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 The thing about you too, Ricky, I don't know how you did it, but

Speaker 2 months ago, Kalila, my girlfriend, was like, I know.

Speaker 2 Can I just explain it?

Speaker 2 Yeah. You're supposed to do it.
You're a little rude. You're supposed to do.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. You You said you know.
I was. Okay.
Anyway, um.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 milking it, milking it.

Speaker 2 She was like, um, I don't know about that, Rick Glassman, you know?

Speaker 2 And then once you have this way about you, once you were able to do our podcast, you got involved, like you sold yourself to my girlfriend. Now she loves you.
I sold myself to my girlfriend.

Speaker 2 So what I'm saying is, is that, is that generally when you meet people, is that how you did you figure that out? That's a good question, Bobby. Bobby? Yeah.
Bobby, the thing is, much like Andrew,

Speaker 2 in fact, exactly like Andrew, people make up their mind about us right away. Now, they might be right, they might be wrong.
We can't control that.

Speaker 2 All we could do is either validate it or prove them wrong. So Kalila made her opinion of me, which was,

Speaker 2 I don't know. Apparently she didn't like me.
Well, it's the same opinion that people listening right now is having. Are having.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 That opinion.

Speaker 2 The hundreds of thousands of people listening to you right now is having that opinion. You're absolutely right.
And here's what I want to say to them.

Speaker 2 All I care about is you recognize you don't have to think you know. I just want you to admit that you're not sure.

Speaker 2 When Christopher Columbus came and ravaged the Indigenous people and we are here to celebrate his accomplishments, just think about it this way.

Speaker 2 How would you feel if somebody came into your podcast studio, looked into the mic, and started talking for a minute without bringing a gift? You guys go ahead. I got something for you.
Okay, go ahead.

Speaker 2 He always brings gifts. That's what's nice about him.

Speaker 1 It's really nice. And by the way, I'm annoyed that we skip right over this Christopher Columbus stuff.
I want to say happy Christopher Columbus to everybody. All the Italians, all the Spanish.

Speaker 1 Thank you guys so much for your support.

Speaker 1 Let's keep those statues up.

Speaker 2 What's nice for you to be medium? See, I wasn't sure. I'm serious.
I wouldn't be surprised if you were a medium, large, or extra large.

Speaker 2 Medium because of your height, but extra large because you have a body type that is confusing. And I'm not even saying that meanly.
It's just your body is... What would you guess he is?

Speaker 2 A medium, an extra large? Did I not wear a small shirt the other day that fit perfectly? Yeah, you did. Yeah, because your eyes deceive you.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 His body is like

Speaker 1 a Thanksgiving gourd. You know, like a cornucopia gourd, you know? Yeah.
Where it's tiny at the bottom, it's nice and thick like a vase in the middle, and it necks up a little bit.

Speaker 1 And then the very top, it's overflowing with shit.

Speaker 1 Because his head is massive.

Speaker 1 It's just shit's coming out the tip-top. So it's just like this beautiful gourd.
It's like a beautiful cornucopia gourd. And I just want to grab it and shake it and

Speaker 1 kiss it right in the middle and smooch it and poke it and pull it.

Speaker 2 Andrew, I have a question. If I could be sincere with you guys and you actually believe me and I need maybe a minute.

Speaker 2 The position I'm finding myself in, I'm being 100% serious. Bobby, look, you can see because my eyes might start to water.

Speaker 2 It's a confusing position for me to be in.

Speaker 2 Because I'm not guest hosting.

Speaker 2 I'm just here.

Speaker 2 And I'm finding myself in a position to where what do I do? Do I try and stand out and look desperate? Do I sit back and not say anything?

Speaker 2 Do I play with one of my friends or do I fight with one of my enemies? And I don't know how to handle this situation right now. So I'm going to, I'm just going to play it cool.

Speaker 2 I look like a shit gourd?

Speaker 2 That's what you... Wait, wait, wait.
I'm sorry. I'm just.
My bad. I look like a gourd shit.

Speaker 1 You look like gourd shit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You look like one of those,

Speaker 1 like a, you know, when somebody paints a cornucopia, like one of those Impressionist paintings,

Speaker 1 but it's all sloppy and the fruit's all rotten, and there's flies all over it. I mean, it just looks everything has gone bad.
Yeah. Everything has gone bad.

Speaker 1 Just open your gift and enjoy your gift.

Speaker 1 And say thank you to Rick, please.

Speaker 2 Doesn't matter. It's over.
I'm hot.

Speaker 2 What does it say?

Speaker 2 Scooby,

Speaker 2 scooby,

Speaker 2 blubbity,

Speaker 2 blue, scooby-dee, oh yeah.

Speaker 2 It's a theme song to

Speaker 2 my podcast.

Speaker 2 Yeah, this has gone to shit. The energy, I honestly, I haven't.
This has gone to shit. I haven't felt bomb energy in over a decade.

Speaker 2 It's a combination of the soup

Speaker 2 and how hot I am.

Speaker 2 It's backfired.

Speaker 2 I'm embarrassed. Yeah, I'm going to be honest now.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's garbage. It's a tri-blanch.

Speaker 2 That's better than any of your merch. That's garbage gift.
Okay. And you know what? Fine.
That shirt. They're all for you.
That shirt right there is going to stay there for months. I'll take it.

Speaker 2 All right. Do not move that shirt.
I won't. Nobody in this building move that shirt.
That piece of shit shirt is going to sit there for months. It's not the right size.
I don't get the fucking font.

Speaker 2 I don't get the message. You know what I mean? It's a theme sheet.
It's not funny. It's not.
Everything doesn't have to be funny. It's just, it's a theme song.
It's just a branding thing.

Speaker 2 Heaven's funny.

Speaker 2 Heaven's funny. This is not.
I didn't give you this as a gift, number one, number two. This is some bullshit fucking thrift store shirt that I just put on.
Dude, I hate bombing.

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Speaker 2 You know, when we're in the car with Juliana, I told her, I go, he, you know, he's neurotic. Did I say that? He's a little all over the place.

Speaker 2 But he really is a funny guy, you know, and

Speaker 2 this is going to be great. Now,

Speaker 2 that being said,

Speaker 2 let's just rewind back. There were feelings for myself of regret, I have to admit,

Speaker 2 of even asking you to do it. I felt it when you asked me.

Speaker 2 I understand that. I said, Are you sure? As soon as I saw what you were wearing, I'm like, oh shit.

Speaker 2 You know, hold up a bit. You know, this is a little weird.
Yeah. Right? He's having a fucking breakdown.
Why? It's just, I got a new application. Finish what I'm going to say, you fucker.

Speaker 2 All right?

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 during, you know, since we've started, you know, there were moments of like, you know, oh, this is going to be great. No.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
You know, all those feelings, right? Yeah. But at the end of the day, the reason why you're here is you just have to be yourself.
And everything that we've done so far has been

Speaker 2 very good, I think. It's entertaining.
What do you guys think?

Speaker 2 Okay. Now, listen, don't they don't ever talk.

Speaker 2 That was the saddest thing I've ever remembered.

Speaker 2 Oh, God. That was pure rejection.
That was pure pain and suffering right in front of your face. Holy shit, I apologize that you had to fucking witness that.

Speaker 2 They don't really ever talk.

Speaker 2 Fancy Bean and George.

Speaker 2 Oh, I was asking YouTube.

Speaker 2 I wasn't thinking of about

Speaker 2 it and that's a very good save, and that's why you're here because you have the you're very right, that was a very good save, right? Yeah, that's why you're crafty with your words and your mind.

Speaker 2 When you say crafty, I want you to know that I know that you're doing anti-Semitic words

Speaker 2 when I is crafty anti-Semitic, yeah, yeah. Oh, tell me why people say crafty explain it.
Yeah, people say crafty instead of saying, oh, you know how to move money around.

Speaker 2 No, Andrew, back me up.

Speaker 2 Is the Riddler crafty?

Speaker 2 Yes, and he is. Is he Jewish?

Speaker 2 Yes, he is. Yes, the Riddler.
Yes, he is. The Riddler's Jewish.
Rindelbaum, by the way, Riddlebaum, no joke, was written and originally a Jewish character. And the question mark was, will he survive?

Speaker 2 Because this was World War II. Yeah, yeah.
Okay, well, then I'm going to say this. You're right.
He was anti-Semitic.

Speaker 1 They wanted to know if he was going to survive after the Great Depression. Right.
And

Speaker 1 what Rick is explaining is

Speaker 2 Riddlebaum

Speaker 1 had put a lot of his money all over town. The original question mark was, where is his money? Where is he hiding it? That's where the Mario

Speaker 2 was from. Because we would hide him in brick and mortar.
I see.

Speaker 1 So when you say words like that, crafty, Bobby, it's quite frankly, it's offensive to most, if not all, Jewish people.

Speaker 2 Listen, guys, here's what I'm going to suggest. Yeah.
I know. I'm still hung up on the fucking fucking shit.

Speaker 2 Oh, I'm sure you're so offended that you look like a squash. There isn't a person person watching this that hasn't said squash.
Not one. Not one person that hasn't said squash.

Speaker 2 That doesn't bother you. Look at that picture behind you.
It looks like you're growing from a gourd.

Speaker 2 Now, what I'd like to ask of you guys is,

Speaker 2 could we try three crazy Andrew over here? He's crazy.

Speaker 2 You're nuts. Yeah.
I'm a goof. Yeah.
Could we try and actually get in it for at least 10 minutes at some point in this podcast? I think we should do an improv game.

Speaker 2 What do you think? So you say a sentence of a story

Speaker 2 just andrew just andrew has never said no once if a camera's in no you know just an old-fashioned second city improv game you know i mean where we no fshow and i'll make it up i don't even know if this is a game but you you say you tell me one sentence of a story

Speaker 2 right one sentence I'll do the second sentence and we'll just keep going. Jules, you have to keep it.
Oh, that is a game. Yeah, one word, yeah.
You do one word.

Speaker 2 Jules. Word.
One word. One word.
Everyone says one word. Is that what it is? Is that the sentence? You say one word, and then you try and keep the cadence of an actual story.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 You want to try that? A phrase or a word?

Speaker 2 We're telling a story. Let's do the phrase.
One word, I mean. Let's do a word.
Okay, just a word. Yeah, so, Jules, you're playing, number one.
And number two, this is how it works. No, this is how you

Speaker 2 works.

Speaker 2 We'll be right back.

Speaker 2 Yeah. But that's exactly how it is.

Speaker 2 Everyone says says this, you know what I mean? You were supposed to say it.

Speaker 2 Jules, you were supposed to say it. But it's fine, all right? Jules? Do you not want to try it? Jules? I'm ready to go.
All right. Once there was a pumpkin gourd in Connecticut.
And it

Speaker 2 went. What did she say? Went.

Speaker 2 Yeah, this isn't going to work. This is going to be a lot of time.
Get closer to the mic.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you have to get closer to the mic. Also,

Speaker 2 you can't take time. It has to be dot, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
Yeah, no one could take time.

Speaker 2 I didn't.

Speaker 1 She's got to to speak up.

Speaker 2 She's got to speak. You got to speak up.
No, right. And louder.
Put the mic to your mouth. I'm sorry.
I vowed never to say that again. Put the fuck a mic to the mouth.
Okay.

Speaker 2 All right. Don't get angry.

Speaker 2 All right, here we go. Ready? Okay.

Speaker 2 So.

Speaker 2 Once there was

Speaker 1 a woman named Clorine.

Speaker 2 And she swam very well. But one time

Speaker 2 there was this huge pumpkin.

Speaker 2 all right

Speaker 2 what does it have to do with the smooth

Speaker 2 right you know the last one we did no no it's just fine it's our first improv game the last one we did we brought up the pumpkin and and i'm just saying there's just so many you know nouns that you could you could appear

Speaker 2 right anything anything right anything ever on the on the earth you know i mean whatever and you chose pumpkin all right so let's start over right and not use we're starting complete so this time, don't use previous words so that you can, you know, okay.

Speaker 2 Why don't we, Bobby? I have a question. Yeah.
How about the three of us try to explain this to her real quick by using the game? Okay. Oh, yeah.
Why don't we do that? Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 First, you have to talk directly into the microphone. Then you must explain to the audience that we are

Speaker 2 not that smart.

Speaker 2 I really like this podcast. So

Speaker 2 one last one? Just do one.

Speaker 1 But I want Rudy to start it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you do have to start it, Rudy. Okay.

Speaker 2 One

Speaker 2 time. I.
Eight.

Speaker 1 Pumpkin.

Speaker 2 That's a story.

Speaker 2 Andrew,

Speaker 2 I knew you were going to say pumpkin. And that's.
I love how

Speaker 2 Andrew is so smart.

Speaker 2 He's so present.

Speaker 2 It makes sense.

Speaker 2 It makes sense, man.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 I hope you don't mind.

Speaker 2 Let me clear. That was my first explicit CD.

Speaker 1 Oh, I loved it. Dude, I love that.
And they had five different remixes on there. Remember that? It was like the original, the club mix, the radio cut.

Speaker 2 Andrew, one second. I think it's been more than 60 seconds since it's been about Bobby.
So, Bobby, is there something you want to do to kind of get more closer? I swear to fucking God, man.

Speaker 2 I swear to fucking God. You know what I was doing just now? Yeah.
I was in my mind. I'm like, you know what? I'm going to let these two have their little moment.
Yeah. Right? Little moment.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 so condescending. To call it back to me is so fucking rude, my friend.
Yeah, that's rude.

Speaker 1 I want to say something.

Speaker 2 Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Both of you, and I mean this, to the fans that want to know the truth, I did get COVID. We kept it a secret for privacy purposes.

Speaker 1 We talked about it pretty openly on my other podcast, and I got it from a friend of a friend sitting outside having a beer. It sucks.
It's a bummer, but I will say I want to thank you both genuinely.

Speaker 1 You both were very helpful. Kalila was unbelievably sweet and brought a bag of stuff to my house.

Speaker 2 I fucking brought the bag, you fuck. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.
Let him just have his gratitude. I can't even get this out.

Speaker 1 I can't get one nice thing out.

Speaker 2 All right, go, go, go, go, go. Also, fuck you for not letting your girlfriend just have a win.
Yeah. Andrew, go ahead.
I'm sorry. Bobby, this is for you.
Andrew, go ahead.

Speaker 1 So, Kalila dropped off a bag of goodies. That's nice of her.

Speaker 1 Bobby was smoking and playing video games while he was driving her. And Rick and his girlfriend Betty were so sweet and giving and constantly checking in to make sure everything was okay.

Speaker 1 So I want to thank my friends for being there for me during a shitty time.

Speaker 1 And Bobby, now you can have your thing. Say your piece or whatever.

Speaker 2 Go ahead.

Speaker 2 Go ahead, Bob.

Speaker 2 I'm feeling so many emotions right now.

Speaker 1 By the way, I called Bobby three times in the past two days to talk one thing about business and one thing about life. I should show the text.
I can send it.

Speaker 1 He literally just goes, I'm in AA.

Speaker 1 And I wrote, cool, would you mind calling me when you get out? No,

Speaker 2 I'll show you. Shut up.

Speaker 1 Shut up. And then he goes, then the next day, I call, I say, hey, man, can we we chat? We need to chat about something.
And he goes, I'm in therapy now.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I say, cool. Can you call when you get out? Nothing.

Speaker 2 This is my favorite.

Speaker 2 Can I read you an interaction you and I had that made me laugh? Yeah. All right.
So,

Speaker 2 you were very excited. You go, how cool was this? And you sent me this video.

Speaker 2 Right? Yep. About the Rubik's Cube.

Speaker 1 First of all, it's going to play at the beginning of this episode. It was the way that we opened this episode.
It's amazing. It's amazing.

Speaker 2 And I think that's a good thing.

Speaker 1 He made a bad friends thing, Rick, with like a thousand somebody.

Speaker 2 It's incredible. Yeah.
And then I sent it to Bob. And then

Speaker 2 I didn't text you back. And then you texted me after that.
You go, also, Merch killed it. Because you're sitting in your bed, I can imagine, sick,

Speaker 2 in your COVID thoughts, you know what I mean? And your body's tired. And so you go, huh, he didn't respond to, how cool is this? Well,

Speaker 2 add more information. Also, Merch killed it.
Right. And I waited as long as I could.
Why did you make that his voice? I don't know.

Speaker 2 That's just what I, and I waited a couple hours, and I my textbook made me laugh. I go,

Speaker 2 Who dis?

Speaker 2 I said.

Speaker 2 How did that feel when I

Speaker 2 sent that? Angry.

Speaker 1 No, I didn't get annoyed.

Speaker 2 Oh, you didn't? Okay, good.

Speaker 1 No, because it's who this is one of those jokes that like losers use that don't have any sense of humor that it's been around for so long and so many like um hacky loser um douchebags who who dis yeah who dis

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So it did make me mad.
I just, I just thought, what a hack. What a shitbag hack.

Speaker 2 Yeah, put on your glasses.

Speaker 1 Put on your rose-colored glasses because the world doesn't look so great, okay, without them.

Speaker 2 Bitch.

Speaker 2 Loser.

Speaker 2 You're a loser. Bitch.

Speaker 2 Oh, man. Andrew.

Speaker 2 Andrew, dude.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're so funny.

Speaker 2 Dude, you're so funny. You're the writer, producer, star, and Bobby's stimpy.

Speaker 2 You know, it's so funny because in many landscapes, this would be called bullying. Yeah, in many.
In other landscapes, it would be called standing up for yourself. Really?

Speaker 2 A 5'2 ⁇ , fat, small with a lot of disability.

Speaker 2 But you wear a small.

Speaker 2 That was a very good thing.

Speaker 2 If you want to actually see the sizes, just go to rigglassman.com and check out the story. There we go.
30 bombs. You guys are bullying me me right now, and

Speaker 2 I'm going to take it. I'm going to take it for the team, right?

Speaker 2 I think that I got too much rest last night. What do you mean? Because I came in here with a lot of energy.

Speaker 2 I was singing. I was singing.
You know what I mean? Back in the car. I was back in the chain game.
I was excited to get here. Right.
Right.

Speaker 2 And as soon as I got here and we started, I've just been kind of like

Speaker 2 out of it.

Speaker 2 It's Bobby. No, no, no.
There's something about the energy. It's like, you know, it's making me sweat.
You know, I feel like there's three different things going on at the same time.

Speaker 2 It's a whirlwind of energy and ideas, and I feel like I'm being ganged up on, you know, since the beginning. I believe that's fine, which is fine.
First of all, first of all. I believe you.

Speaker 1 The only reason I said something negative to you just now is because you made fun of the text exchange that we had.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I was retaliating against you. I said something sweet about what

Speaker 1 you and your respective girlfriend did for me. And then you made fun of my text response because I'm laying in bed.

Speaker 2 You're right, you're right.

Speaker 1 So I retaliated.

Speaker 1 So, here's what I want to do. Here's what I want to do to sort this balance out again.
I'm going to step back for a minute.

Speaker 1 I want you two to take over the show for a second, and I just want to enjoy and watch for just a moment. Okay.

Speaker 2 But before we even do that, can I do something?

Speaker 2 What do you guys think?

Speaker 2 Bandrew, before you tune out for a second, can I say something? Sure. All right.
And I'm going to be

Speaker 2 milking it. You forget that.
You're just calling me?

Speaker 2 Why are you calling me?

Speaker 2 Oh.

Speaker 2 Hello. Hello.
Hey, how's it going?

Speaker 2 I don't know. I just

Speaker 2 feel like I'm.

Speaker 2 I don't know. I just feel anger.
I feel anger.

Speaker 2 There's so much going on that I just feel defensive, and I feel, you know, that

Speaker 2 a certain presence is taken over. I'm not saying Ricky, I'm just saying he brought other, like,

Speaker 2 Jewish ghosts with him or something, right?

Speaker 1 Hold on, hold on one second. I'm getting another call.
Hold on one second.

Speaker 1 Hey, Rick, what's up?

Speaker 2 Hey, I took my headphones off. I can't hear what you guys are saying, but it's probably boring.
So I was just seeing if you had any nudie mags or something that you could explain to me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I was just checking in to see how it's going over there.

Speaker 2 All right, call me back. Do you have nudie mags that you could explain to me after you talked about? 100%.
100%.

Speaker 2 I'll call you right back. You fuck.
I'll call you back. Get on Pornhop.

Speaker 2 I don't know what's going on here, but I have to say something. Can I say something to you, to everyone listening?

Speaker 1 Of course.

Speaker 2 All right. And I've probably said this before, but

Speaker 2 years ago,

Speaker 2 hey, Jules. Hi, how are you? I'm good.
How are you?

Speaker 1 How's it going over there? Just checking in.

Speaker 2 It's kind of messy.

Speaker 1 Are you enjoying it at all? Is it fun or no?

Speaker 2 It's okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. You take care and be safe, okay?

Speaker 2 Okay, you too. Bye-bye.
Okay, bye.

Speaker 1 Sorry, sorry, what's going on?

Speaker 2 All right, so years ago,

Speaker 2 you know, I told you the first time I ever saw you, which was

Speaker 2 me and our other buddy.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 We were in the OR and

Speaker 2 we saw you perform for the first time, and we both looked at each other and said, this could have been 15 years ago. I don't know, a long time ago.

Speaker 2 Long time ago. And we looked at each other, and I remember distinctly going, wow, that guy's really funny.

Speaker 2 And then when I met you, I just knew right away that I was going to know this guy for a very long time.

Speaker 2 And there was a time in my life where I, you know, had nothing going on, so I decided to just try to, you know, develop things on my own, you know.

Speaker 2 So I did this talk show on the internet on YouTube called

Speaker 2 Talking with Bobby Lee. And I have to say that the one, I asked you to do it.
You showed up and you did it for me.

Speaker 2 I think our episode was one of my favorites, aside from my brother, and I did a really good one. And ever since then, I was just like, you know, I really love this guy.

Speaker 2 In fact, you know, I don't go to birthday parties and things like that. And one time you had one at the bowling alley, remember? And I showed up.
And I showed up.

Speaker 2 And the reason why I showed up is because of the fact that I go, you know, I don't show up to anybody's shit, but it's like, I know. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 I'm going to do this for this guy because I really like this guy.

Speaker 2 And then,

Speaker 2 you know, I've had, you know, so many offers from other, you know, podcast people wanting to do a podcast with me. I'm being real.

Speaker 1 I know. I know.

Speaker 2 But as soon as, you know, and I've hurt a lot of people's feelings, right? Yeah. By choosing you.
But the reason I'm choosing you because of how I feel about you.

Speaker 2 You know, I feel that, number one, that you're very relevant for me. Number two, I think we have good chemistry.
And number three, I trust you, right? And I think that you're a really good dude.

Speaker 2 And when I found out that you had coronavirus, it broke my heart. And I felt bad for you.
And it was a very sad situation in our household. And, you know,

Speaker 2 I don't really get on my hands and knees and pray, but I'm doing internal prayers for your safety. Okay.
Thank you. So for you to fucking, you know what I mean, say this bullshit, I'm being here.

Speaker 2 It goes. I'm not.
Here it goes, Rick. No.
Here it goes.

Speaker 2 For you to be sick right now, right? Yeah. It makes my heart break.
Thank you. That's what I was going to say.
Thank you. Okay.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I love you. I love you.
Okay. So that's the truth of the matter.
So every when you call me shit gourd, right? And when you do all these little things, right, to hurt me.

Speaker 2 Yeah, when you do that face, you know what I mean? That ching chongy face.

Speaker 2 Right?

Speaker 2 It's like it burns because

Speaker 2 you think, you seem to think that I'm like, you know what I mean, some sort of fucking predator or some, you know what I me, some parasite. I'm not.

Speaker 2 No, I know. But I'm a good dude.
I love you. And I, you know, I'm just trying to make, you know, this podcast work.
And I'll have to be honest with you. We've had my brother do it, Tom Sergiro do it.

Speaker 2 We have Ricky here. And we're doing everything we can to keep this thing going while you're sick.
Right? You did a great job.

Speaker 1 You guys are doing a great job, and I really do appreciate it.

Speaker 2 Okay, so I don't know what's going on here, but it's like I think

Speaker 1 we're good, and I love you.

Speaker 2 Will you and I

Speaker 2 ever

Speaker 2 be as pleasant to one another

Speaker 2 that is equal to the amount of respect that we actually have for one another? All right, you know what? You're right. You know, I'm a bully.
Because you did come in bullying me, and I was in defense.

Speaker 2 You're right.

Speaker 2 I'm a bully, and I'm a little bit. I'm an away court.
You're right. I'm a bully, and I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna change my tune now.

Speaker 2 Thank you so much for doing this podcast.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry if I let you know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm talking. I'm I'm fucking talking, right? Don't do that again.
Yeah, racist. All right.
It's racist, but it's also annoying.

Speaker 2 I think that you...

Speaker 2 Fuck. Don't worry about it.
No,

Speaker 2 it's

Speaker 2 not.

Speaker 2 I have to get it out. I'm aware.
I have to get it out.

Speaker 2 You know, it's like when we're at the comedy store and you're trying to get in and you're coming up to me, right? Trying to get Adam Egot's ear and

Speaker 2 I go to bat for for you. What do you think that is?

Speaker 2 You mean when you talked to him

Speaker 2 six years ago? No, I've been doing it. You know, what do you mean?

Speaker 2 Two years ago, I would meet you in the parking lot, and you'd be like, No, this was, I'm not going to get into semantics, and I'm not going to catch myself being defensive. So, I appreciate you.

Speaker 2 But I will say this: this room,

Speaker 2 the stage was set.

Speaker 2 Set.

Speaker 2 We came in prepared.

Speaker 2 What happened? Everything's fine. Nothing happened.
That's what I'm asking. Yeah, everything's great.
Nothing happened. I don't feel satisfied yet.
We're not done yet. Okay.
You think we're done?

Speaker 2 How much time have we done?

Speaker 2 Five minutes.

Speaker 2 We've done five minutes. No, I think he's saying there's five minutes left.
No, five minutes. We've only done five minutes.

Speaker 2 I remember going to,

Speaker 2 me and Joe Corey were pitching a show, right?

Speaker 2 And then um joe corey was like you know saying you know bobby and i are good stand-up comics and and one of the executives looks at me and goes wait you do stand-up comedy to me right and i go yeah yeah you know and it's like it burned but it's also one of those situations where it's just in retrospect it's just who cares and it's also funny you know it's just a funny like i can visualize it would have been a great scene in a show you know what i mean where you know you could see me blush and try to be defensive you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 So it's just like one of those things where you, it's life. It's like that in every

Speaker 2 aspect of life.

Speaker 1 Joe Coy has the most

Speaker 1 not humble Instagram I've ever seen. He's on like private jets.

Speaker 1 He knows how to, that guy knows how to show off, baby.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's insane. Well, that one, that one video, I mean, he's a friend of mine, a very good friend of mine, so I don't want to say too much, but there was.

Speaker 1 I'm not being mean. I'm just saying he really does like to flash.
Like, he loves to flash.

Speaker 2 He's a star. He's a star, and he works really hard.
We all work really hard. I know, but he's not like Joe Coy, dude.

Speaker 2 All right. Did you sell out a theater in Hawaii doing four shows when you were taping a special instead of two just because all the Hawaiians wanted to see you? No, dude.

Speaker 2 Joe Coy, dude, he's got action figures. He's got t-shirts.

Speaker 2 I don't know when this is coming out, and I feel like I don't don't want to like put this out in case he isn't open about it yet, but he's

Speaker 2 he's selling buses next year. Yeah, yeah, Joe Coy tour buses.
It's nuts. I think in many ways, though, he

Speaker 2 has

Speaker 2 it doesn't seem like it, I guess, from the outside, but he's humble himself personally.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? Like, if you talk to him, he's all about staying in your lane, you know, living in the moment, you know.

Speaker 1 When he says staying in the lane, does he mean like in his Ferrari, in his lane? What is he talking about?

Speaker 2 No, no. What I'm saying is that, like, because

Speaker 2 I have a thing where I compare myself with other people. Yeah.
And there are times where I go, well, how come that guy got that? And how come this person got that? And he's just basically like,

Speaker 2 just you're doing what you're doing and just stay in your lane. He does have a grateful, like, his personality type.

Speaker 2 He is grateful for what he has and has done in a way where it's, there's something refreshing about being around him. Yeah.

Speaker 2 My opinion of him, he came and he did my my podcast. I didn't know him very well.

Speaker 2 I've since gotten to know him, but he acts, and this is such a cliche, I guess, of my projections, but he doesn't act like he's successful. Yeah, that's what I say.

Speaker 2 And he appreciates other things that, like, somebody who has accomplished as much as he had.

Speaker 2 So there's something about Joe that, as much as he is, like, look at this stadium that I sold out with boys to men for some reason. There's something very great about Joe.
So I'd like to say, Joe Coy,

Speaker 2 here's to you. Here's to you.
And also, he's a good father. Which is the most important part.
I'm being real. He's a great dad.
His son loves. They have a great relationship.

Speaker 2 A lot of people say I look like his son. In many ways, you do.

Speaker 2 And so he's, you know,

Speaker 2 there are others I could talk about that bother the fuck out of me. You know, I have a story that's similar to you pitching a show.
When I go to the comedy store, I often get carded.

Speaker 2 I get carded. Really? I do.
It's happened numerous times. And the first time it happened,

Speaker 2 I had a conversation with myself that happened in about two seconds, but

Speaker 2 because I know how to talk to myself fast. But here was a conversation in my head.

Speaker 2 I'm so mad. I want to go home.

Speaker 2 I don't know if I'm embarrassed, but I don't want people seeing that this is happening. Right.
This guy has probably only been working here for a few months. He doesn't know who I am.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 The best thing you could do is just give him your card and say, have a good day. No.
You lash out. I didn't.
I'm very proud of how. And by the way, I've been carded there numerous times.

Speaker 2 Are you being real? I'm being real. Now, you go to an LA comedy club, and the doorman, who happens to be a comic, I answered the phones there.
This is post-television shows. Right.

Speaker 2 So they're like, excuse me, what's your ID? Now, what's your reaction at first? Well, the first time

Speaker 2 it happened, I'll tell you, the first time it happened, I'm with John DeWalt. Okay.
I don't know who that is. Johnny Boom Booms.
I love Boom Booms.

Speaker 2 John, who doesn't do stand-up anymore, he my first thought was, John, be cool. Because, you know, we're an extension of each other when we're there.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So I didn't want him to be like, fuck you, my ID. I'm a co-producer on, you know, whatever the thing is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is, I get the energy.
You're at the store, I'm a doorman.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 And I don't even, I just walk past you because I'm not expecting you to stop.

Speaker 2 So you have to like stop. I'm going to.
Okay.

Speaker 2 God.

Speaker 2 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy, buddy. Listen, where's your ticket? Where's your ID, first of all?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yo, why the fuck are you carding him? Why are you carding him, bro? John Chill. Who are you? I need to see your ID as well.

Speaker 1 First of all, I'm a co-producer.

Speaker 2 Just give me the ID. That's in the impromptu.
Give me the fucking ID, man.

Speaker 2 Okay,

Speaker 2 Rick Gleiman. Rick Gleiman.
And, okay, you're of age. Do you have a ticket? No, I'm a comic dude.
Two comedians. Open Mucks on Sundays.
I know. I'm just coming to watch.
Some of my friends are here.

Speaker 2 I hope that's not a problem. And that's how you do it.
Yeah. But maintain the eye contact.
At some point, they might go, it it doesn't matter. What if they go? That's never happened.

Speaker 2 The closest I can say that has happened, and this one, this one, this one bothers me. Yeah.
Because, first of all, I did work there. Second of all, I'm the guy.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
So

Speaker 2 when I'm there on a who gives a fuck night, when it's not sold out, a Wednesday at 10. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 2 And I'm sitting in the back bucket seat. Okay, maybe my mom's in town and we're here to see world.
It's embarrassing. We're here to see Brent and Andrew.
It's embarrassing.

Speaker 2 Okay, now I'm sitting in the back bucket seat with my mom and the other three bucket seats have uh nobody in them yeah right yeah then one of the whoever the fuck who goes by the way who i guarantee you three days earlier at the open mic was would have been doing this hey i just watched the uh vice president debates hey uh flies

Speaker 2 the flies you can tell how bad the vice president he's a piece of shit And he's fumbling over his fly jokes, you hack fuck.

Speaker 2 He comes over to me, taps me on the shoulder, okay, he says, hey man, paid regulars only. When I want to say, my mom's almost 70, you cun goof.

Speaker 2 My mom's going to sit here.

Speaker 2 Nobody's sitting here.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry, you have to go. You have to go.
And then I have to tell my mom, hey, mom, I didn't make it.

Speaker 2 I didn't make it. We can't even sit here.
You have to stand. You're 70.
You have to stand. You know who's going to sit there next?

Speaker 2 Somebody's dog.

Speaker 2 That

Speaker 2 bothers me

Speaker 2 you know listen doesn't matter doesn't matter who it is okay she's great she's great i'll tell you something the dog gets more respect than me right

Speaker 2 i have a story for you you fuck wait i thought you liked me a year ago one year ago i go to the laugh factory the laugh factory

Speaker 2 i walk in the front door

Speaker 2 some guy a doorman He takes his arm and he goes like this to block me. One of the doormen like with a suit.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Careful how your arm is like.
Yeah, that looks like a high.

Speaker 2 He didn't do this. Well, you would have if you were taller.
Yeah, I know. He went like this.
He goes, wow, buddy, whoa.

Speaker 2 All of your impressions sound like Tommy.

Speaker 2 No, he goes, wow, buddy. I go, whoa, whoa, what? What's up? What's up? He goes, ID, dude.

Speaker 2 To me, right? ID, dude. And I go,

Speaker 2 all right, I'm leaving.

Speaker 2 And I left. Right? And I still haven't been back.
How long has it been? A year.

Speaker 2 I will not go. Nope.

Speaker 2 It's disrespectful. It's disrespectful.

Speaker 2 But the truth is, the truth is, if he doesn't know, what could he have done to know? Should he have looked at all the headshots of the people?

Speaker 2 Like, should he study that portrait that's outside the last session? I'm just a stupid ego. You know, I don't know.
But you think you're wrong. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Not everyone's going to know or not.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 2 But, Andrew, and

Speaker 2 I'm with Rick on the show. The bucket seats is different.
I'm telling you,

Speaker 2 dude, number one, I'm sorry, but I was eight years on a network sketch show,

Speaker 2 right?

Speaker 2 I'm a regular at all the clubs in New York and all the clubs, right?

Speaker 2 I have like every room, a room in America, right? Yeah, and I have, you know, at this point, you know what I mean, I had a pretty good podcast.

Speaker 2 I mean, there are just certain things that, and also the Laugh Factory, it's like, I'm very good friends with the owner of the club. He's flown me, him and I have gone to Hawaii together in New York.

Speaker 2 Sick, right? My point is, is that you know, at this point, it was just like when he did that, I was just like, instead of going into a confrontation of some sort, I just decided I'm done. I'm out.

Speaker 2 Do you think that was the right decision? I don't know.

Speaker 2 I'm asking. No.
I think you give him your ID and you say, hey, man, you don't know who I am. I just want to introduce myself.
All right. They fucked it up.
And that's what I do. All right.

Speaker 2 But the buckets are.

Speaker 1 Because it's okay. It's okay.
People don't know who you are. And a lot of times the door people are comics.

Speaker 2 And they're new.

Speaker 2 And they're new, new, and so they may not know. I made up the story.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I made up the story. One time, one time.

Speaker 2 I made up the story. Why? Sorry.
I don't know why.

Speaker 2 I have no idea why.

Speaker 1 One time I was going.

Speaker 1 I was trying to get into the Hollywood improv,

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 they didn't know who I was.

Speaker 2 I don't know why I did it. I hear you, Andrew.
Sorry.

Speaker 2 I'm a liar. I'm a liar.
I'm a liar. It's funny to find the intention.
My guess is you were trying to connect through a joke. Yeah.
Like, you're trying to say, like, I hear you.

Speaker 2 I was trying to, like, by the psychological. But then you still went, no disrespect, but I was on a fucking show for eight years.
I committed to the whole thing, and I just, I fucked it up. Man.

Speaker 2 I read the situation wrong. I committed to this fucking line of thinking, and then it just didn't pan out the way I thought it was going to pan out.
And then I didn't know, should I just let it go?

Speaker 2 In my head, I was like, I should let this lie go, right? But I go, no, I'll just admit that I lied. And now it's even weirder than it it was.
I think it was hilarious and good.

Speaker 2 And I'm glad you came close. Oh, God.
It made me laugh, though. I'm so sorry.
Go ahead, Andrew. Tell me your improv story.

Speaker 2 This is a nice table. It's great.
It's mahogany.

Speaker 1 One time I was trying to get into the improv.

Speaker 2 Can I ask you guys a question?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Rick, by the way, I was just fucking around before. It's me.
I know this.

Speaker 2 You guys have, both of you, have successful podcasts. Two, at least, each.

Speaker 2 Do you feel

Speaker 2 now that stand-up is on not happening, do you feel that you have lost something because of what podcasts offer your stand-up?

Speaker 2 Or do you feel that because there is no stand-up, these podcasts are so much more valuable? That's a real question. Does that make sense? Yeah, I don't really think of it in those terms.

Speaker 2 As far as creativity, I don't think of

Speaker 2 as podcasting as as even work or something that I have to do. It's something that I enjoy doing.
No, I understand. So it's like I don't really put a lot of I mean, I value the people that listen and

Speaker 2 people that love us. I really, you know, have a connection with them.
And that's what's great about it.

Speaker 2 I think my connection with podcast fans are greater than any other fan base that I could ever have. You know what I mean? Because they know who I am.

Speaker 2 And when I meet them via on the streets or, you know, when they I communicate them through means like social media or whatnot there's a different kind of interaction that we have you know I mean they know things about me like how's you know Gobi your dog or like they know things about me so there's a deeper connection but um would you have would you have it as a successful podcast if it weren't for you

Speaker 2 Bobby what is it would you have would your podcast be as successful if it is if you didn't when you started it have stand up to meet the people face to face throughout

Speaker 2 if you never did stand up and you only did the podcast would would those fans feel the same way?

Speaker 2 Well, if I hadn't done stand-up and then did podcasting, I don't think I would have a fan base because everything is interconnected, right? Everything in my right, Andrew, don't you think?

Speaker 2 It's like, how the fuck am I gonna. The reason why I did a when I did a podcast that I had some viewership, right, is because I did have fans from previous mediums, right?

Speaker 2 So that you know, Mad TV fans or fans from all these variety of other things that I've done. YE5-0.

Speaker 2 I've never been on that. Weren't you on Hawaii?

Speaker 2 I didn't mean any offense. I'm not, I didn't take it offense.
I just didn't know what you meant by Hawaii 5.0. That's all.
All right.

Speaker 2 So, you know,

Speaker 2 but do I miss doing stand-up? I do.

Speaker 2 But I'm just accepting my reality like everyone else is on planet Earth. Thank you.
Andrew, do you feel the same way? Please don't ding that again. Because I feel Andrew feels differently.

Speaker 2 Ding that again? I feel Andrew misses stand-up in a different way. I'd love to hear it.

Speaker 2 And Andrew, would you like to do a couple of minutes?

Speaker 1 I would love to.

Speaker 1 I miss stand-up very much. I'm really sad.

Speaker 1 I was supposed to be out this weekend somewhere, and sadly I couldn't do it because of the Rona.

Speaker 1 And if I'd like, I could do a couple of minutes right now if you guys would like. Is that okay? Sure, go ahead.

Speaker 2 All right, here we go.

Speaker 1 Hey, what's up? It's great to be here.

Speaker 2 How are you guys doing?

Speaker 2 Yeah. This is awesome.

Speaker 1 Right on. Thank you so much for coming out.
It's good to see you guys. We got what do we got? A little brown chick, a little bowl of noodles, and a Jew.

Speaker 1 You know what they say? A brown girl, a noodle bowl, and a Jew walk into a bar, and

Speaker 1 they end up owning the bar,

Speaker 1 having the family run it, and then selling it a couple years later for a pretty good profit.

Speaker 2 Crafty. I like this guy.

Speaker 2 Guys,

Speaker 2 I hate that the podcast started when it did because right now,

Speaker 2 I feel like I'm in the pocket with you guys.

Speaker 1 Stay in it. Yeah, stay in it.

Speaker 2 All right. Could you be a little bit.
By you acknowledging it, though, it kind of ruins the momentum of it. But you calling me out kind of ruins the momentum of it.
I'm being positive.

Speaker 2 You're being objective. Okay.

Speaker 2 Touche. Go ahead.

Speaker 2 It's good to be here. It's good to be here.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, you know,

Speaker 2 bad friends. Bad friends.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 at first I was like, I wonder why they call it bad friends. Then I watched the show.

Speaker 2 These guys are so bad, it makes...

Speaker 2 It makes

Speaker 2 the Lakers and the Clippers seem like good friends.

Speaker 1 I like this guy. He's crafty.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's why you're not a regular at the store. True.

Speaker 2 But you know where I am, a regular?

Speaker 2 Where?

Speaker 2 Nobody.

Speaker 2 Nobody has me. Nobody wants me around.

Speaker 1 No, that's not true.

Speaker 2 No, it's true, Andrew. My own parents, you know what they said to me the other day?

Speaker 2 Get out of here.

Speaker 2 I went home for the holidays, so I was like, I'm glad you're here. Get out of here.
Where's the food? Get out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ricky. Andrew.

Speaker 1 I want you to

Speaker 1 keep this conversation moving with Jules. I I want you to introduce.

Speaker 2 You didn't even get to really talk about it. We never really got to know each other.

Speaker 2 Andrew, do you have any direction on how you'd like this to go, or does it not matter?

Speaker 1 Typically, you just pick up the baton and run with it.

Speaker 2 You got it.

Speaker 2 How long have you been running? I'm going to try to be talking the mic.

Speaker 2 How long have you been running in track and field?

Speaker 2 I am not in track and field. Perfect.
This is the kind of girl I like to pick up a baton and pass it to. Now, question.

Speaker 2 When you decided to be part of this family, did you feel excited or nervous or some other feeling? The first day I came here, I was just I was just came here to look after Tito Bobby.

Speaker 2 That's what Tikalaila told me. Look after him, how?

Speaker 2 Because of COVID, because he's.

Speaker 2 Oh, to watch, make sure that he's being clean? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then Titubabi just suggested that I should join, and then

Speaker 2 I just said, okay. I love that.
Well, it's nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Bobby, what are you doing?

Speaker 2 You make the environment difficult to survive in.

Speaker 2 That's your superpower.

Speaker 2 You struggle in life so much that you're able to bring everyone down with you.

Speaker 2 And I resent it.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 That was a really good segment.

Speaker 2 Are you going to edit? Thank you. Are you going to edit some of this out? No.
Good.

Speaker 2 I want people to have the full context of why I'm.

Speaker 2 No, no. You have coffee in your hair.

Speaker 2 I know. Okay.

Speaker 2 Seriously, dude. The first five minutes and the last five minutes, I haven't felt this feeling in a decade.

Speaker 2 A lot of times, you know, people, when they're driving, they like the awkward, like, if you, like, for instance, you ever see the David Lynch movie Lost Highway?

Speaker 1 Love.

Speaker 2 But you can't really understand really what's going on, do you? But there's such a disconnect. Right.

Speaker 2 But when you're watching Lost Highway, there's just certain things in the scenes that don't really match up.

Speaker 2 And there's also David Lynch has a way of like, if you watch a movie like A Razorhead, where when two people are having a conversation and there's a 30-second gap of just them just sitting there and you can hear like the pipes, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 I like that feeling of awkwardness. And that's what this podcast, especially this one, is giving everyone a sense of unease.

Speaker 2 Right? Yeah, I guess. And I think that that also is something that's

Speaker 2 entertaining. When people...
See what you're doing right now. I don't know what you're doing.
I wasn't going to throw it at you. I know, but just stop picking things up when I'm talking.

Speaker 2 Tito Bobby, I have a question. Go ahead.

Speaker 2 How did you first meet Rick, and what was your impression of him? I didn't like him at first. No one does.
No, honestly, I didn't like him at first. At first, I was like,

Speaker 2 well, first of all, it's like, I think when you, I think I auditioned for a show that you, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 Yeah, when I found out that you got undateable and I couldn't even get an audition, right? I went, fuck that guy, right?

Speaker 2 And then I'd see you around the store, and then I never, you went to Montreal before I ever went to Montreal.

Speaker 2 So when I found out you went to Montreal, I was like, what the fuck, that guy went to Montreal? He's not even a regular at the comedy store. And so then

Speaker 2 in the beginning, it was like, but then what Rick does, he's kind of like

Speaker 2 a tick.

Speaker 2 Yeah, a tick, like a wood tick. You know, a tick that you would find in a wood.
A wood tick. Like a wood tick, yeah.

Speaker 2 And, you know, you're going to get Lyme disease, so you might as well just go in the forest, you know? Huh?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 he was just around, and it's like, I'm like a... lumberjack in the in the New Hampshire forest and I'm just like accepting the fact that I'm going to get bit by this thing, right?

Speaker 2 And it bit me. Yeah.
And I started getting the disease, Lyme disease, right? And my body started aching. I couldn't sleep good, you know.
And I realized. Are you feeling better? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, I'm living with the disease, but my point is, is this. It shows.

Speaker 2 You're infectious.

Speaker 2 You know, and you're, you

Speaker 2 slowly I came around. Yeah.
And I realized that this thing, this tick, we're not going to to be eradicated. Andrew, did you just fart?

Speaker 2 It's a corona fart. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Funny stuff, man. Yeah.
You know, Kalila and I started a podcast now. If we,

Speaker 2 like, if you were in that room, would you smell that fart or no? If I was in the room, would I have a choice? And that's the philosophical question. You see, a lot of people choose:

Speaker 2 Should I smell this fart or should I not? Anyway,

Speaker 2 that was the wrong.

Speaker 2 You know, it's like I donated, I don't, let me say something. I donated money to that guy running against Lindsey Graham, Jamie Harrison, right?

Speaker 1 How much money did you donate?

Speaker 2 $650. I'll match it.
Andrew, you want to match it? And now I'm getting...

Speaker 2 And I made a mistake by putting my number

Speaker 2 in the donation.

Speaker 2 Why did you do that?

Speaker 1 Why did you donate $650 to somebody?

Speaker 2 Because I want Jamie Harrison to beat Lindsey Graham.

Speaker 1 And so the money is going to help Jamie Harrison beat Lindsey Graham? Well, I don't know.

Speaker 2 I mean, I just wanted to do something. I wanted to donate so that they could have some.
Do you ever donate your time instead of money for this stuff? Like, do you ever help out with me? No, I don't.

Speaker 2 I've never once? No.

Speaker 2 But now I'm getting all this, like, other.

Speaker 2 First of all, he emails me. I'm sure everyone gets it every five minutes.

Speaker 2 Good pubby. I know you gave me $650.
I know it's not personal. It's like this, you know, but it's like another $150.
You know, it's constant, man. And I'm getting texts from him.
Awesome. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I have another question. Go ahead.
For two, Andrew. Go ahead.

Speaker 2 When did you first met Rick? And what was your impression of him?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Rick and I met through stand-up comedy many, many years ago.

Speaker 2 I do remember exactly where I met you. At the comedy store in the original room,

Speaker 2 I just saw you go up, and I thought you were so funny. And I was friends with Brady Matthews at the time, and I didn't know who you were.

Speaker 2 And then you were in the back, right from the stage, the back left, when you walk and you turn right.

Speaker 2 And you guys were there, and Brady looked like he owned the place because I'd never seen somebody put their foot up on a chair there because we're all like new.

Speaker 2 And he puts his foot up, and you were just sitting with him, and you guys were holding court.

Speaker 2 One of you guys did a joke or whatever, and you guys, you know, like, I like Brady, by the way. Yeah, yeah, same guy.
They, uh, you guys took me in.

Speaker 2 I don't know if it was like I felt like an outsider, but I did just move there. And it felt nice not just to be like, hey, come on over and do bits, but I had already seen you.

Speaker 2 I'm like, this guy's so super funny. So I just always associated you and Brady together for the longest time.
And then I've known him for a long time, too. A very long time.
Both from Chicago.

Speaker 2 Yeah, did you and Adam Ray have a falling out? Because you guys were together all the time and then you guys were doing stuff together and all of a sudden you guys weren't.

Speaker 1 Well, we were living close to each other at the time and also this is what happens in comedy. People have said that to me before.
I was like, no,

Speaker 1 it's just you stop seeing people when you

Speaker 2 don't live within like five minutes of them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's really hard to see people anymore. So we just kept doing our own thing.
And when your schedules get busy and you're doing other shit, it's really hard to see your old friends anymore.

Speaker 1 I mean, especially the pandemic has really put something into perspective, genuinely. I'm being serious.
And especially with this virus, like

Speaker 2 it's, I talked to Dr.

Speaker 1 Drew about this.

Speaker 1 They're having to explore how many people suffer from anxiety and depression because of the virus outside of the physical ailments because it does really fuck with your head.

Speaker 1 Like, you get extremely isolated and you don't really want to talk to people about it because it's kind of fucking annoying and it's a stigma.

Speaker 1 And then you also get super depressed because you're like, when am I going to not be sick anymore? And then you think about other people that are around you that might have gotten sick.

Speaker 1 It just, it spirals a little bit. So you begin to isolate a little bit and it gets weird.
It does get a little strange.

Speaker 1 And it's kind of what the pandemic has already been doing to people, which is like pushing us further and further away from each other.

Speaker 1 It's really fucked up, dude.

Speaker 1 The psychoanalysis of what's going on now will be interesting to see in 10, 20 years from now.

Speaker 2 Andrew, you said something that

Speaker 2 sparked a thought.

Speaker 2 My OCD is rampant, okay? Yeah. And I've been living in a pandemic since before this thing hit.
And it's gotten tougher, but I've been forced to interact with people because of the podcast.

Speaker 2 And I have to say.

Speaker 2 that I have been connecting with an hour plus long conversation with new people, but mostly friends, because of the podcast. And if it weren't for the podcast, I think I would have lost my mind.

Speaker 2 I I wouldn't have talked to anybody.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 2 this medium and as much of a cluster fuck as this is, it's nice to get out of the house, to get dressed up, to play with you, to play.

Speaker 2 Andrew, I've seen you more since we did my podcast earlier this year, and then yours. And then we've taken walks and we've talked and this.
I've seen you more.

Speaker 2 And I think a big part of that, not by choice, but just by situation, has been because of podcast. Yeah.
And there's something really cool about, I miss so much going

Speaker 2 to clubs when we're all there. And the more successful you get, the more you're doing your own shit.
So podcasts has kind of done that. So I just want to say thank you guys for having me.

Speaker 2 And I really am sincerely grateful of being able to play with people every week because of this.

Speaker 2 I have to admit, too, that little brief, I went to Whitney's house last week or whatever, a couple weeks ago, and I saw Lederman. And I saw Pavinski.
I saw all the girls. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Oh, I saw your Adam Ray friend, my friend as well. He was wearing the Dr.
Phil clothing.

Speaker 2 Funny stuff?

Speaker 2 It was an open mic at Whitney's house. He wore the prosthetic Dr.
Phil

Speaker 2 stuff

Speaker 2 for the open mic. There were five people there.

Speaker 2 I go, what the fuck are you doing? He's like, I know, I'm just doing the open mic. I go, that took nine hours.
But anyway, it was really good to see all of them

Speaker 2 for some reason. I felt joy.
Yeah. You know, and I think also

Speaker 2 I feel the same way. Thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 Rick, I want you to look directly into your camera, you're single there, and just say, thank you for being a bad friend very seriously.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Could I do it now?

Speaker 1 Do whatever you want, yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, I have two things to say. Okay.
First, thank you for being a bad friend. And second,

Speaker 2 live from New York, it's Saturday night.

Speaker 2 you could use the first part or

Speaker 2 also