Bobo's Big Head and Rudy Wins an Oscar!

Speaker 1 Tito's handmade vodka is America's favorite vodka for a reason.

Speaker 1 From the first legal distillery in Texas, Tito's is six times distilled till it's just right and naturally gluten-free, making it a high-quality spirit that mixes with just about anything.

Speaker 1 From the smoothest martinis to the best Bloody Marys, Tito's is known for giving back, teaming up with nonprofits to serve its communities, and do good for dogs.

Speaker 1 Make your next cocktail with Tito's, distilled and bottled by Fifth Generation Inc., Austin, Texas. 40% alcohol by volume, savor responsibly.

Speaker 1 You two are bad friends.

Speaker 2 Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 2 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 2 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 2 We're bad friends. So, I would like to open up this podcast by saying I appreciate ya.

Speaker 2 Me? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think that, I think that, I honestly know.

Speaker 2 You know, I've been thinking about you, laying in bed.

Speaker 2 When I lay in bed, Kalella's asleep usually, and I just kind of lay in bed and I think about you and I get warm fuzzies and I think to myself what a lucky guy I am

Speaker 2 Well, I'm lucky to have you as a friend. Yeah, I'm lucky to have you

Speaker 2 To work with you because you're one of the top comedy talents that I could I it's like a if I had a wish list of the best people I could do it with you'd be in the top of the list.

Speaker 2 I'm very lucky in that way We have great chemistry. I just am blessed to have you in my life and

Speaker 2 I just think that you're a great guy, man. I love you, Bob.
I love you too, man. I love you.
I love you too. And,

Speaker 2 you know, I think that you're just so talented. You know, what's great about you as well? Yeah.
Is you are

Speaker 2 handsome.

Speaker 2 You're a good-looking guy as well. Where is this going? Nowhere.
This is genuine? Yeah. You know what, dude? It's like, no, honestly, dude, bro, I've just had

Speaker 2 a rebirth, man. Really? You feel me? And I have other things I want to say.
I didn't want to say to Jules. oh, wow.
Are you done with me?

Speaker 2 There's so much I can say. No, I just want to say thank you.
Not only that, I just think that your wife is a superb, it's like a superb human. Yeah.
Like she was made, you know, almost perfectly. Yes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you both were. Thank you.
And I think that you come from great stock.

Speaker 2 Bobby. No, I really, your parents, dude, I don't know much about them.
Yeah. Even your OG dad, you know, I'm sure he was crazy and violent and whatnot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm sure that he is just

Speaker 2 genetically too legit to be a greatest. One of the greatest.

Speaker 2 Well, can I say something about you? Please.

Speaker 2 You are by far my favorite comedian. Thank you.

Speaker 2 Sorry, my favorite Korean comedian.

Speaker 2 Okay, I take that. You know what? I take it.
And I mean that. And I think it's great.
Name another Korean comedian that's as good as you. Ken Jong.

Speaker 2 Shit. Yeah.
I didn't think about but

Speaker 2 all right. You know, you're probably making me listen to a bit, but I'm trying to be sincere.
Let me be sincere. All right.
You're one of the most talented people I've ever known in my entire life.

Speaker 2 Appreciate it. I love you.

Speaker 2 I'm so happy that we're doing this show together. Yeah.
There's only one problem with the show. What?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Is Rudy.
I know. And she's so spoiled.
And I told you guys in the parking lot, she got a gift. Someone sent you an amazing gift, and I don't know if you deserve it.

Speaker 2 And Bobby actually said, don't give it to her. Yeah, but can I just finish my thing or not? Oh, sorry.
Yeah. May I? Yeah.
Because I want to move on from it. Okay, I do.
I want to say what my piece.

Speaker 2 I want to move on from it.

Speaker 2 Before you say anything, are you still smoking or no? I've gone to three a day. It worked.
It's working. It's working.
Yes, it's working. Feels good.
I feel great.

Speaker 2 I feel great about life, and I feel good. Do you feel better genuinely? I do.
And I feel like breathing. Let me hear you breathe into the mic.

Speaker 2 Feels great. Sounds good.
Uh-huh.

Speaker 2 Jules.

Speaker 2 You know, if I had a daughter, I probably would want you as my daughter. I think that you are,

Speaker 2 what a great lady.

Speaker 2 She cleans, vomit, cat vomit. She does? Yeah, she does.
And you do it perfectly.

Speaker 2 She does.

Speaker 2 I love your animation, your anime likes. Anime, Sean.

Speaker 2 Anime like.

Speaker 2 You've recommended me some. I love them all.
Yeah. I think that you're pure at heart.

Speaker 2 Andreas,

Speaker 2 you're better looking than

Speaker 2 you're look better looking than Puyol. Who's Puyol? He was a defender.
You know Puyol. Yeah, he's a defender for Barcelona.
Puyol. Yeah, Puyol.
I think that

Speaker 2 you move like

Speaker 2 Iniesta, another

Speaker 2 fucking soccer player for me.

Speaker 2 I think that when I smell you, I don't smell nasty beans.

Speaker 2 Fancy beans. I smell fancy beans.
I think you're a great guy. George, if you're listening, you're one of my favorite people in the whole

Speaker 2 world.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I really do. And I'll tell you why I'm doing this.

Speaker 2 And I'll tell you why. There's an explanation to all this.
You know, I'm telling,

Speaker 2 you know, I got a

Speaker 2 sometimes I go on the Graham,

Speaker 2 I go on the Graham, yeah, what was on the Graham, and

Speaker 2 you know, this guy just, you know, I don't, you know, I get a lot of direct messages, you know, and

Speaker 2 he said, God, you're such a massive cunt to Centino. That's the first sentence that came out of it.
Is that what he said? Yeah, God, you're such a massive cunt to Centino.

Speaker 2 You have all these ball-gaggling sycophants around you that validate your shitty behavior.

Speaker 2 Are you 50 fucking years old? And he leaves it at that. You're 49.
48. 48.
Yeah. And he goes, it's not a satire anymore, dude.
It's just bullying. And you know what?

Speaker 2 Usually, I don't know this guy, but you know, I

Speaker 2 went. At first, I was in a rage when I read it.

Speaker 2 I threw the phone.

Speaker 2 This fucking son of a moment. Can I see it? I want to see his name.
Sure, sure. Yeah.
I want to see his profile. But don't say his name.
Of course not. I don't know.
No, no need. No need.
No need.

Speaker 2 Yeah. No need.

Speaker 2 No need, but I want to see his profile. Yeah, look at his profile.
So I can thank him. No.
Yeah. So, and you know, when I got that message, I did some introspection.
Yeah. And I thought to myself,

Speaker 2 this guy has a point.

Speaker 2 What a piece of shit I am.

Speaker 2 And I need to be better around the people around me because the people around me love and they don't need my toxic,

Speaker 2 poisonous, you know, words to hurt them and slash them down every day. You know, I need to be more uplifting.

Speaker 2 And so, for the rest of this podcast, my friend, I am going to approach it, right, as a Christian. I am going to approach it in the purest form I can.
I'm not going to degrade anybody. Okay.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to make fun of anybody. I'm just going to be Mr.
Positive. Okay.
And I think that that's going to be my new route in life. I found a new path.

Speaker 2 You know, so

Speaker 2 but okay, let me ask two things. One,

Speaker 2 this guy is a fan of you, obviously, right? Sure, and thank you for being one.

Speaker 2 But he's obviously a fan. I love him.
So maybe he's taking it too serious when we joke around with each other.

Speaker 2 I appreciate

Speaker 2 the notes, and I appreciate your criticism, and I took it to heart. Thank you, friend.
He took it to heart. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, I'll say this.

Speaker 2 I love you to death. Love you.
You're the greatest guy I've ever met. Okay, this is not.
It's working. But can I tell you what you said? Can I say what you said after that? No, don't read my response.

Speaker 2 Well, no, he said, are you... Don't read my response.
Well, he said, are you 50 years old? Yeah. 50 years old.
Yeah. Effing.
I say effing now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm changing.

Speaker 2 I don't use the F-word anymore. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And you said 48. Yeah.
You just wrote 48. That's what I read.
It's not sat there anymore, dude. It's just bullying.

Speaker 2 I get unsubscribe, yada, yada, yada.

Speaker 2 What is he saying there? Oh, he's going to unsubscribe from us? Yeah. From our show? Yeah.
Huh. He's defending me, but he doesn't want to see us together anymore.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 he wants to break it up. He wants to break us up? Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, I think that he just doesn't find

Speaker 2 the way I approach the podcast is positive, and he thinks it's... He later says that everything I say is cringeworthy.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 I really took it to heart. So I don't want to say cringe-worthy things.
And I want to change. I'm getting too old to be combative and being.

Speaker 2 I feel like I'm too mean. This is positive, I guess.
Yeah, I want to be positive and I want to change my stuff. So I think this podcast is going to be completely just positive for me.

Speaker 2 And I'm not going to say anything negative. And I love the way you bobble your head.
It's cute. I really do.

Speaker 2 I have to say this, that I saw the documentary you recommended. Which one? John and Aliens.

Speaker 2 John tries to talk to aliens. How fun was that?

Speaker 2 You didn't like it. I mean, I wish I could get the 17 minutes back.
It's 17 minutes.

Speaker 2 It's hard to do this positive, but... This is what that guy was talking about.
I know.

Speaker 2 I know. I know.
This is what the guy's talking about. So let me just.

Speaker 2 The reason there's a beautiful love story.

Speaker 2 I think the love is good.

Speaker 2 You know what's another bad documentary you shouldn't watch? What? And I mean it? What? Netflix is

Speaker 2 I Am a Murderer Released. It's about a guy that had a life sentence.
He did 30 years, and then Texas overturned his death sentence, and he got released. And I'm thinking, this is going to be good.

Speaker 2 They introduce this woman. He goes to live with this woman.
He calls mama, and I think they're sleeping with each other. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And I think right away, well, I want to watch it, so don't give it away. You're not going to, but I think right away with this woman he goes to live with, what do you think? He's going to kill her.

Speaker 2 I'm like, he's got to kill her. Or does he point point?

Speaker 2 Does he? Nothing fun.

Speaker 2 Nothing fun happens. Nothing.

Speaker 2 Nothing happens. It's not worth watching.
No, I texted Netflix. I emailed Netflix.
I go, what is it?

Speaker 2 Can we go back to John? Go back to John. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 So I found it. I'm watching it.
I'll go, this is very interesting, you know, this documentary, right? And it's about a guy, right, who

Speaker 2 you want to know? Let's start with, let's start with, he had a traumatic childhood. Yes.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 he was, I guess, beaten by his parents. They were drug addicts or whatever.
I think by everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And his grandparents, I love grandparents like this, by the way. So nice.

Speaker 2 They go, well,

Speaker 2 I'm going to take you out of this toxic situation and we're going to raise you ourselves. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then, so so at that point, I think that's when I lost me. And he, you know, and then John goes,

Speaker 2 can I talk to aliens? And they were like, what do you mean? Kiddo?

Speaker 2 I just, can I have half a million dollars so I can buy the equipment? And they're like, well, we've been saving all of our lives.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and then so they, what they do is they, they're sitting in their living room and this piece of shit starts building, you know what I mean? You know, he takes over the whole house.

Speaker 2 He takes over the whole house, building all this equipment, to contact the aliens you know and I just think that it would have been a little better that if the grandparents said half a million dollars and he goes yeah and they said NASA we they do it

Speaker 2 they have it yeah but he wants to be no no no no no no they have it they talk to aliens they've been up there yeah but yeah in 1977 they launched the Voyager 2 which reached what they all the planets it went around circulating all the planets all the planets that's insane In our solar system, yeah, they went to Venus, they saw

Speaker 2 the off-moons as well. They didn't go to all of them.
Yes, they did.

Speaker 2 They used the rotation of the my point is that can you name the planets? Yeah, Mercury. Very good, mother.
Go ahead. Yeah, I don't know that in order, but Venus, Jupiter, Saturn, right? Yeah.
Mars.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Venus.

Speaker 2 Said that already.

Speaker 2 What about Serena?

Speaker 2 Uranus.

Speaker 2 Venus. Serena.
Serena. Uranus.
Yeah. Urethra.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Venus. And.
And.

Speaker 2 Calabrese.

Speaker 2 Williams. Topping up.
That's Williams.

Speaker 2 But anyway, so I would have said that. I would have no, I would have said that.
And then it's like, and then, you know, he found another fatty that he fucked. Hey, I love it.
I love it. Be positive.

Speaker 2 I love the love. I know, you're right.
He found the love of his life. He found the love of his life.
And they made her. No, that's it.
They're right. You're right.
You're right. You're right.

Speaker 2 I'm trying to correct myself. I know.
He found the love of his life, right? And at the end, he makes out with him. Well, they kiss because they love her.
They kiss. They love.

Speaker 2 you don't want to see men kiss i love it i love it i love it i love it and i was watching it and i turned to kalila i was blushing yeah you know what i mean and i did a tremble you know i mean i think it was a love tremble okay it wasn't negative what did kalila say she goes oh and i went oh

Speaker 2 like

Speaker 2 but you know what i think that was a love um gurgle i think the problem was because they both have big heavy beards yeah anyway so good luck to them yeah good luck and thank you so much um all that equipment by the way that all the money they spent is now in a warehouse.

Speaker 2 It's in a warehouse and no one's using it. Yeah, because it doesn't work.
I know, but it's the only thing he likes. Oh, can I just say one last thing? Sure.
Right? It's like, so what was he?

Speaker 2 He was sending music up there, right? Yes. He was like broadcasting.
He was sending a Nigerian Afrofunk, right?

Speaker 2 He's sending Nigerian Afro-Afrofunk up up in space, right? And what I want to ask him is, just put up some Adele. A little shit that people like.
A little bit of Adele. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Adele.

Speaker 2 Taylor's people. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Some tunes. Yeah, yeah.
Don't put up, like, you know what I mean? This is albino country music music from fucking Argentina. They don't want to hear that.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, maybe they do. They want to hear pop.
How do you know what aliens like? But that's the thing. You don't know that they like

Speaker 2 Afropunk.

Speaker 2 They might, but also throw out some stuff that we all like. Right, a little bit of Beach Boy.

Speaker 2 I'm Whitney.

Speaker 2 Whitney Houston. Yes, some Whitney.
I get it. You know, beat it, whatever.
If you're going to send, if you're going to send

Speaker 2 music to space, what are you sending? What's the top three things you'll send? I would probably send some sort of opera. Oh, okay.
Because, you know, it shows vocally. Auver Maria.

Speaker 2 Probably Avere Maria. Yeah.
Right? The very good song. Right.
I would probably send also some,

Speaker 2 I would send something poppy like Whitney or something. Okay.
You know? Oh, well, I know. Yeah, and I would probably sell probably the Eagles.

Speaker 2 Oof.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Pass.
No. What, Hotel California? Not Hotel Cover, like

Speaker 2 Easy.

Speaker 2 Take it Easy. Take It Easy.
Can I tell you something? I'm being genuine right now.

Speaker 2 When I was going through this,

Speaker 2 my ocular migraines in college and I was having really bad panic attacks and it sending me to the ER because I couldn't see out of my left eye and I thought I was dying. Take it easy.

Speaker 2 That's not funny. I just.

Speaker 2 No, you're right. Are you okay?

Speaker 2 No, are you okay? Don't pretend. No, I'm not trying to pretend.
I like old Bobby. Fucking change.
I like old Bobby. I want a fucking change.
I like old Bobby. No, I don't want.
I want this new one.

Speaker 2 You're supposed to make fun of me when I say something like that. No, I'm not going to.
Are you okay? Really? I'm going to keep tempting you. Are you okay?

Speaker 2 I hit my face on my counter when I passed out during an earthquake. What do you think? And you know what? When that happened, I

Speaker 2 was

Speaker 2 sad. Funny.
No. You thought it was funny.

Speaker 2 I wanted to go to the hospital. I wish I was there with you.
At the hospital. Okay, so anyway, I did.
I used to listen to the Eagles Take It Easy because it calmed me down.

Speaker 2 But I don't even like the Eagles. I know.

Speaker 2 I think they're great.

Speaker 2 What three songs would you send to space? Or three bands?

Speaker 3 One would be an anime song.

Speaker 2 I made this sound. I'm so tired of that.
That's why you're not in charge of it.

Speaker 3 No, just one.

Speaker 2 That's why we would never put you.

Speaker 2 They will never be a documentary. Jules talks to aliens because they would talk back.
Actually, they probably love anime. You know what Kalila did? What?

Speaker 2 She spent $500,000 or something to put her name on a plaque on a satellite that was sent to the thing. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, and 50,000 people did it.

Speaker 2 You think the aliens are going to grab the fucking satellite and go, Kalila? Yeah. No.
Yeah, they are. No, they're going to explode it.
No, they're gonna take it and go.

Speaker 2 And another fucking thing Kalila did is

Speaker 2 one time. You know what she did? She goes,

Speaker 2 I go, where are we going? It's four in the morning.

Speaker 2 We're gonna go see the launching of the satellite.

Speaker 2 The plaque into space. Whatever.
And I go, okay, I'm gonna sleep.

Speaker 2 That's the old me. The new me.
The new go. Thank you.
Where are we going? I got my binoculars. Let's go.
Good boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've got my little fucking antenna hat.

Speaker 2 Well, now that I have you in this good mood,

Speaker 2 I think, I think

Speaker 2 tomorrow morning, we should go for a walk together. I love it.
And let's go. You want to go hiking? I'll bring my shoes.
9 a.m. Will you go? I'll be there.
You're going to go there.

Speaker 2 And we'll look at the butterflies and the trees. Well, there is no butterflies.
Whatever it is. But there's trees.
Is there fresh air? 9:30. Are you going to be there? I'll be there.

Speaker 2 That's the most important thing. You didn't even tell us the songs.
We cut her off. An anime song and what else? Let me just finish this thing, right? Just give her two more.
Let her have two more.

Speaker 3 Um,

Speaker 3 maybe a rock song so that aliens would be curious.

Speaker 2 What rock song?

Speaker 3 Um maybe like Nirvana.

Speaker 2 Okay, pretty good. I like that.
That's a good choice. Pretty good.
What song? What song though?

Speaker 3 Um

Speaker 3 Teen Spirit or

Speaker 2 Lithium? Lithium? Lithium. Very good.
I would do rape me.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
That makes sense. I would do rape me.
Because that's a signal to tell them, come on down.

Speaker 2 It's just a good song. And it also teaches them about, you know, bad things too.
About life. Right.
right. What else? What are you looking for on the floor? Did you lose something?

Speaker 3 No, I thought I dropped my rubber band. Oh.

Speaker 3 And then maybe a classic song or...

Speaker 2 A classic song? Like what?

Speaker 3 I don't know.

Speaker 2 Yes, you do. Throw it out there.
Yes, you do.

Speaker 3 I don't know anything.

Speaker 2 She doesn't know any. Yeah.
You don't know any? Yeah. You don't know one classic rock song.

Speaker 2 Not a rock song. No, classic song.
You don't know any classic songs. Do you know a Beatles song? Maybe a Beatles song.
What's Beatles song?

Speaker 3 Hey June.

Speaker 2 Hey June. Hey June.
Hey June's a good song. Hey June.
Hey June.

Speaker 2 When is it April?

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's a good song. So that's good.
You'll send Hey June up there.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Hey, June's a good song.
Here's my three. Ready? Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 2 Otis Redding. Great.

Speaker 2 Sitting on the dock of the bay. Unconventional song.
There's a lot of different. But I like it because it's a song he wrote before he died.
So I like it. He died?

Speaker 2 Otis died crashed in a plane in a plane crash died with Richie Richie Richie Valentine

Speaker 2 he died uh in Lake Minona which is in Madison Wisconsin oh shit you know those two lakes that surround Madison

Speaker 2 the wake wake monona lake lake monona yeah yeah and on he died in one of them one of them crashed otis reading anything really about otis reading

Speaker 2 uh i would send them uh

Speaker 2 really any radio head that's really tough but i would send them something by radio head i would just put you know what i would send them the whole okay computer. Okay computer album.

Speaker 2 You just throw it. Do I like that? Do I like okay computer? Yeah, because you don't seem artsy in that way.
Oh Bobby. But you are.
You're creative. Thank you.
Thank you. See, that's just you judging.

Speaker 2 You don't know enough about what I like.

Speaker 2 Because you just white dudes, stiff white.

Speaker 2 I'm a stiff white dude?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 No, I'm just dude. I'm friends with hip-hop artists.

Speaker 2 I know some too, you know. Who?

Speaker 2 What one friend do you have in hip-hop? I have a friend named Marshall. He's pretty good.
What is he? What? Marshall what? I don't know. His name is Eminem or something like that.

Speaker 2 You're not friends with Eminem? I did his video. So that's he because he liked because he wanted a chunky Korean guy in the video.
That's how you're friends with him? And we talked and we hung out.

Speaker 2 Really? Dude, text him, call him. No.

Speaker 2 Why? Do you have his number? No. Not friends.

Speaker 2 Oh, so I need to have the number to have

Speaker 2 to be friends with somebody? Yep. You're right.
You know what? I fucked up. You're up.
No doubt. I have a gift.
Oh, great. What is it?

Speaker 2 I have a gift for Rudy. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So, this is from our friend Small Plate Blades, and this is maybe one of the coolest things on earth. Go ahead and there you go.
Oh, my God. Open that up.
Amazing.

Speaker 2 Wait till you see how cool this looks. Look at the handle on that thing.
How beautiful is that? That's handmade. That's a handmade k knife.
Now take it out of its sheath.

Speaker 2 Be careful. Just pull.
There you go. Look at that thing.

Speaker 2 How beautiful. What does the handle look like?

Speaker 2 Here, give it to me. I'll give it to Bob.
Let me see. How incredible is this knife? Handmade.
Look at that. It's absolutely stunning.
It's fucking stunning, dude. And it's sharp as fuck.

Speaker 2 Well, yeah, be careful. Be very real.
Yeah. I just want to do this.
No. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't cut. Yeah.
Go across. But, you know, it's down the street, not across the road if you're going to do it.

Speaker 2 Ah, definitely don't. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's a great knife. This is your beautiful knife.
What do you think?

Speaker 3 It's really beautiful.

Speaker 2 Say thank you.

Speaker 3 Thank you to whoever meets.

Speaker 2 Small plate blades. All right, right, let me go back to myself.
You want me to go back to myself? Yeah, of course. This is not working.
I just, I want you to be you. And he made us one, Bob.

Speaker 2 Look at this. And what does that say?

Speaker 2 Bad friends. Bad friends.

Speaker 2 I think I want to go on

Speaker 2 a fast.

Speaker 2 A water fast.

Speaker 2 There's a show called Well, and I've been watching it with my girlfriend. You want to just drink water? Yeah, and people do 30-day water fasts, and I want to do a water fast, I think.
One guy died.

Speaker 2 One guy died. One guy died.
Yeah, Yeah, one guy died. But I want to do it.
Today, I haven't eaten all day because I watched that fast documentary, so I'm going to try not to eat really.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I don't know if that's a good idea, but I got to figure something out.
I have to read it.

Speaker 2 You know, I've been stagnant. Maybe you just.
I'm fat, and I just want to eat pizza so fucking badly all the time. It is the best.

Speaker 2 I have six fucking Lou Malnadi's pizzas in my freezer, and they've just been sitting there because I'm trying. Every time I eat a pizza, my neck hurts, and I want to fucking I do.

Speaker 2 I know, but your neck hurts from eating pizza? Yeah, and my neck hurts and my high hats. What loses do you eat? I eat the whole thing.
And my whole, my blood pressure shoots through the roof.

Speaker 2 My neck hurts, and I can't move. And I feel like shit.
It like cripples you? Yeah. But then yesterday I'm like, I'll go to fucking

Speaker 2 I'll go to Mendocito Farms and get the impossible salad. You know, the impossible meat.
Sure. So they slight, it's not good.
It's not good for you. They put it in there and I shaked it up.
I ate it.

Speaker 2 I'm like, oh, it doesn't feel good. And then I try to.
So healthy healthy food doesn't feel good either. Well, it doesn't feel like you ate anything.
It's like just air.

Speaker 2 So then I, and then last night, um, I didn't really eat much. And then today I'm being out of fast.
So I need to change my life.

Speaker 2 And so they're doing, um, I was watching that documentary well, and then there's another episode about tantric sex. Oh, I want to do that maybe.

Speaker 2 I want like somebody's fingers on my belly, and I want an orgasm without, you know, ejaculation. But you know how hard that is?

Speaker 2 You have to last hours and hours and hours without. I want a two-hour orgasm with you.

Speaker 2 With me? I don't know why I said that. Wait, seriously? Are you being no, I don't know why I said that to you.
I would love it.

Speaker 2 I would love it. I would do two orgasm.
Do you want a tantric? I would do a two, two-hour tantric orgasm. How much we could open an OnlyFans and see how many people would pay for us to tantric.

Speaker 2 Well, there's a lady in

Speaker 2 Mexico that we could stay at her place.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I would do a two-hour. Her name is last name's Cobra.

Speaker 2 If we're real.

Speaker 2 Maybe it's like Sasha, Martha Cobra or something. Martha Cobra.
And she, no, she's white.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay. She's white.
What's going on in Mexico? She has her own institute, a tantric sex interest.

Speaker 2 That's right. It's illegal, probably, to do here.
I don't know, but you and I could get naked. And

Speaker 2 she puts her fingers on your belly. Why in your belly? I don't know.
In your button? Maybe sometimes. Do you have an innie or an out? And she goes, you know, just giggle.

Speaker 2 And in the documentary, they were giggling. So I would love to get naked and giggle with you.
And then, and then, and then what she does is, and then cry if you want to. So they cry.

Speaker 2 And then they go laugh.

Speaker 2 And then they orgasm together. So I would love to lock eyes with you and just orgasm without being gay.
What do you mean? How is it gay? I just don't want that to be thrown in. Why?

Speaker 2 There's just no gay.

Speaker 2 It's just friends. It's just two guys.
Two guys.

Speaker 2 Naked, laughing, orgasm. Orgasm meet together.
What's gay? There's nothing gay about it. No, it's fine.
And it's cool. Yeah.
We could touch each other. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. But not like

Speaker 2 hold hands.

Speaker 2 Well, but don't they say you also you take we can tickle noses?

Speaker 2 We can tickle noses.

Speaker 2 You know what we also could do? Yeah. Because we're laying side by side together, right? Yeah.
Our dicks aren't out. Yeah, they are.
They might be. In my mind, they are.
Yeah, yeah. But

Speaker 2 in the document, they say they have a blanket on it. Which way is it your dick laying? You know how it lays sometimes? I'm straight up.
I'm hard. Oh, you are? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Straight up.

Speaker 2 Soft for the whole thing. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, you are? Well, Tantric says you have to really calm yourself and pace yourself. So I would lay next to you.

Speaker 2 It'll be doing this. You know when it says that? You know when it's going down and it's popping? Yeah, yeah.
It's getting the heartbeat back. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then out of nowhere, sometimes it's like, whoa, and you're like, oh, oh, oh. And it comes down.
And I would lay next to you, and I would just,

Speaker 2 you know, giggle, come,

Speaker 2 and then cry. And I think that would.
You want to snuggle at the end? You want a spoon? Nah. Come on.
I walk away. Oh, you're going to leave me the way I am.

Speaker 2 I might even take a plane without you and just leave. That's kind of hot.
Yeah, yeah. You leave me, you smoke a cigarette and you go, see you back in LA.
No, don't even do that. Flick it on me.

Speaker 2 Don't even do that.

Speaker 2 Bobby. No, we do the session, right? Yeah.
I literally, like a zombie, get up,

Speaker 2 get up, pack my shit. And get out.
And I just take a Mexican Uber and I'm out of there. You want to fast with me? Yeah.
No, no, but

Speaker 2 I can't drink just water. I can't do it.
But what it says, it resets your body. But you can reset your body in other ways.
Like, well, how? By doing stretching, exercising, mindful meditation.

Speaker 2 You know, I've been trying to do that. Really difficult to do.
Yeah. Because my water heater went out and I was two weeks without water.

Speaker 2 I don't know the name of the company but i but i do want to defame them on our podcast i will defame the holders insurance company that screwed us over so the water heater yeah went out home i was going i was went out had two weeks of cold showers do you pee in the shower i pee right outside of the shower do you really pee you don't pee in the shower pee in the shower every time yeah me too don't doesn't everybody do you pee in the shower

Speaker 2 you pee in the shower yeah yeah yeah fancy do you no

Speaker 2 fancy doesn't pee in the shower yeah of course because he's fancy why not why don't you fancy you go in the toilet Of course. Loser.
Are you afraid to pee in the shower?

Speaker 2 It's the same drain. Do you pee in the swimming pool? I pee in my pool.
It's my pool.

Speaker 2 In a public pool, have you peed? If it's in a public pool, I'll get out and I'll stand up and I'll pull it out and I'll pee right into it.

Speaker 2 I won't pee while I'm swimming. No, but I always pee in a public pool.
You're supposed to.

Speaker 2 They're public. That's the whole point of a public pool is to pee in.

Speaker 2 I would love to take a poll of how many people pee in the shower. I'm offended you don't pee in the shower, Fancy.
That's That's so, so stupid. But one time I went to Splash Mountain.
Six flags? Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, not Splash Mountain. They have a water park attached to Six Flags.
Did you know that? Yeah, I think they have a water slide. That's what I mean.
Right.

Speaker 2 And around the water slide park, I swear to God, I did this. Around the waterside

Speaker 2 slide park, there's a river. Lazy River.
It's like a lazy river, right? Yes. And 10,000 kids are in this river.
Oh, yeah. Right? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 And I went in the river, and my friend Laban, I have a friend named Laban.

Speaker 2 I know, my friend Labor, he's a skater. Okay.
Labor goes, dude, don't go in there, brah.

Speaker 2 And I go, why?

Speaker 2 It'll be funny. I'll take the life raft.

Speaker 2 Don't go in there, brah. I wouldn't go in there.
I go, why? He goes, you know how many kids shit in there and piss in there?

Speaker 2 And I go, dude, look at the river. That's like, I drink that water.
You're like, dude, I'm going to purify it. And piss in that water.
I might. That's why I'm getting in.
I went to the hospital.

Speaker 2 I I went straight to the hospital you got an infection I had to put they had to drain my body I had an effect I had diarrhea I almost died dude that water is fucking like rancid it's so gross it's it's all by

Speaker 2 it's literal it's all bacteria

Speaker 2 because what I did was I was I was trying to be funny

Speaker 2 I was on the tube my friend Laban was like dude get out of there brah right and I was like drinking the water oh god like just to be funny you know what I mean like dude what look next thing,

Speaker 2 I swear to fucking God, dude. That place should shut down.
Yeah, but just don't get in that water. You're right.
Let's go. I love water slides, though.

Speaker 2 You do? Yeah. I don't like them.
I love them. I don't like them.

Speaker 2 Why?

Speaker 2 Because

Speaker 2 I fell off one in high school.

Speaker 2 Really? Yeah. Yeah,

Speaker 2 I went to a fair once

Speaker 2 in Del Mar,

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 they had roped off a section.

Speaker 2 And then I looked at this roller coaster, and there was a father and a kid dangling. They had fallen off the roller coaster.
Shut up. Yeah, and I remember going, Hurry, I want to get on it.

Speaker 2 I'm being real. I was, because I thought that I didn't know what it was at first.
You didn't know they were in danger. Yeah, they didn't die, but they were about to.
Did they? I don't know.

Speaker 2 But I was like, hurry it up. You know what I mean? Let's go.
Because I was waiting in the line, I think, or something.

Speaker 2 I went to Six Flags one time when they shut it down. It was called Six Flags, Great America, in Chicagoland.

Speaker 2 And they shut it down because one of the rides got stuck and the people were in it, sideways, stuck. Sideways, sitting in the chair, sideways.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 Like on an embankment curve. Yeah.
And they're like, hell, hell. And honestly, I stared for like five minutes.
And then afterwards, I was like, let's go. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Really? I don't want to see if they get killed. If they die.
Her family? Yeah. They build water slides.
Cowards. Yeah.
We went to Disneyland, right? Every ride. Disneyland.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's not Magic Mountain.

Speaker 3 I rode everything.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, yeah.

Speaker 2 We go to the Guardians of Galaxy ride. Awesome.
Did you see it? We ride it? Yeah, it's awesome.

Speaker 2 It's awesome.

Speaker 2 Why? Why? Why?

Speaker 3 I'm scared.

Speaker 2 What are you scared of?

Speaker 3 Of the roller coasters and like the up and down.

Speaker 2 Nobody dies on them other than Kyle Schmidt, 10-year-old boy four years ago.

Speaker 2 Most people don't die.

Speaker 2 I'm not scared of them at all. Some people just don't like it.
One out of 100 people die, maybe.

Speaker 2 Maybe a little bit more. Yeah, yeah.
Maybe one out of 70, but you're not going to be one of the one. Yeah.
You think you're going to be the one that dies on a roller coaster?

Speaker 2 Are you scared of planes?

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 2 Because you guys took a boat to get over here.

Speaker 2 I feel like you're... What are you scared of other than roller coasters?

Speaker 3 Just that. I just don't like the G-4s.

Speaker 2 But your father and your mother wouldn't go on the other ones. Oh, it's a family thing.
You know that, right? Yeah. Yeah.
You don't like the Gs. You don't like to be pushed back in your seat?

Speaker 2 Does it make you feel like that? Well, they don't have that in the Philippines. You don't have that.
We're not used to it. They're not used to it.
Life is a roller coaster in the Philippines. I know.

Speaker 2 Their whole life is, yeah. Yeah, getting through the day is tough.
Yeah. They don't have fairs in the Philippines.
Do they not have like a summer fair?

Speaker 3 Just a few.

Speaker 2 Just like a Ferris wheel. Have you done a Ferris wheel?

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's okay.

Speaker 2 I'm okay with that. What about the one where you stick to the wall? That's the G-Force one.
What's that called? I know that one. You know where it swips around so fast? I love that one.

Speaker 2 What's that called? Do you know what I'm talking? You don't know what this is? You're in like a

Speaker 2 circular room. Yeah.
And

Speaker 2 it just starts going. Yeah.
And you get sucked against the wall. Oh, I like it.
And sometimes you people see people vomit and it splashes right back in your face. Yeah,

Speaker 2 it happens a lot, actually. Yeah, I love it.

Speaker 2 He was the guy next to him. And then you see the funny guy, like the jackass guy, like the kid.
He stands up. He tries to stand up on it.
The carnival riding. The Gravatron.
The Gravitron. Gavatron.

Speaker 2 There's people that will stand up when the Gravatron. That's what I'm saying.
You always see guys trying to do that. How to ride it like a pro.
Watch this guy. Watch this guy.

Speaker 2 Okay, there's all the G4s. See, they're on the wall? Look at this dude.
He's standing up.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Oh, they're moving. He loves it.
He doesn't care at all.

Speaker 2 Oh, there's another guy doing it.

Speaker 2 I was never that guy. Yeah.
I was always, this was me right here. Yeah, that's me.

Speaker 2 Just arms up, panic the whole time. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And look at the carnival ride guy in the middle here look at this freak i love this dude i think it's a cool life to be able to just move towns they call them carnies that's what we're that's basically what comics are we're carnies yeah i think i would i would do that i would do it what you just travel around have fun yeah man uh i eat you know i eat uh fried twinkies fried oreos for breakfast lunch and dinner and uh i get to look at the girls look at the girls they never get to fuck them though no of course not no well maybe they never get to fuck them what about the people that work in the freak show maybe they maybe they're they're fun to party with.

Speaker 2 Oh, dude, dude, that's

Speaker 2 Barnum and Bailey. Barnum and Bailey.
Dude, that's, I think I did that in a previous life. You were a Barnum and Bailey? No,

Speaker 2 I wasn't part of a show. Oh, you were like part of the freak show? Yeah, yeah.
What was your freak?

Speaker 2 No, no legs. Yeah, you were.
Right? You were fin arms. Stumpy.
Fin arms? Hairy face. Stumpy fin arm, hairy face.
And I would sit there in a cage, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And people would pay a dollar just to walk in. 50 cents.

Speaker 2 75? 75, 75. 75 cents, right? And they just would go like this.
They would look at me. Right.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they would walk in. There it is.

Speaker 2 They wouldn't say he.

Speaker 2 There it is. And they would look right at me.
Yeah. And they would go

Speaker 2 and spit right in my face. Everyone.
Lugie, right? And I would eat them out of the air.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa.
Yeah, and no one ever taught me how to speak. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 That's how I would say. People would spit in your mouth.
Yeah, yeah. You would just catch it.
I think that I was, yeah. I think the scariest movie I've ever seen

Speaker 2 by far, because I was a kid when I saw it, was David Lynch's The Elephant Man. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. Bro.
Image burned into my brain. Burned in my brain.

Speaker 2 Well, how did he sound?

Speaker 2 I mean, this, we have to play the elephant. You'll sleep for a week.
Do you know what the elephant man is?

Speaker 2 animal.

Speaker 2 The elephant man moony. I'm a human being.
I'm not an animal. I'm a human being.
I'm not an animal. It's a scene, right?

Speaker 2 Rudy, do you know what Elephant Man is? No. It's a real guy by the name of John Merrick.
That's right. He really existed.
He had elephantitis of the face. But back in London or whatever, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 He was a circus sideshow guy, but was whipped and treated poorly. I mean, they basically

Speaker 2 beat him into being a enslaved him. John Hurt played him.

Speaker 2 John Hurt? Yeah, the actor.

Speaker 2 John Hurt. Oh, Hurt.
I was like, not John Hurd. Hurt.
Yeah, John Hurt. Yeah.
John Hurd had passed away. Yeah.
Good actor, by the way. Great guy.
So is John Hurt. Stop that man.

Speaker 2 Stop him now.

Speaker 2 Did he just get go golfing? What is that a golf club? What is that?

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 oh,

Speaker 2 oh, no.

Speaker 2 Oh, no.

Speaker 2 Looks like Tony Hinchcliffe.

Speaker 2 Now they want to follow him. He's just trying to go get the train.

Speaker 2 Let's go follow him. Let's go check it out.

Speaker 2 He's just trying to go to the barber shop. He's trying to get a train.
Yeah, he wants to get a cleaned up. He wants to get a faux hawk.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, they can't.

Speaker 2 I am not an animal! I'm not an animal.

Speaker 2 I am

Speaker 2 a human being.

Speaker 2 Oh.

Speaker 2 How heartbreaking.

Speaker 2 What do you think, Rudy?

Speaker 3 It's sad.

Speaker 2 It is. They treat you.
You know what's sad? It's just because you look different. You know what's so funny? It's not okay.
20 years ago, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 20 years ago, I was watching this going, chop his head up. You know, I mean, just, you know, how, you know, back then, you have a mob mentality.
You're a bat, you know what I mean? You can't get him.

Speaker 2 You're not a, you're an animal. You know what I mean? Whatever.
Right. And now, when I just saw that, dude, I got fucking emotional, bro.
Right. That's so sad.
What people used to do.

Speaker 2 Doesn't that tell you something about what's going on? I've changed, I think. Doesn't that tell you something about

Speaker 2 now? I think what's going on now is helpful.

Speaker 2 Some of the things that, you know, the social, you know.

Speaker 2 The social mob?

Speaker 2 I think some of it has you know some of it some of it some of it's a little too far some of it's insane all right but it's like um that really because as a kid i was just like get him you know yeah

Speaker 2 even when he said that

Speaker 2 you you freak you know and just jab you know jab the fucking in his eyes you know i mean

Speaker 2 the boiled slat

Speaker 2 you know what i mean whatever you know but now it's like i want to go come here you my big-headed friend help him out and hold him and hold him not too close yeah no no not head to the side. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Hug him. But I'd be like, you want to be my roommate? Right? And have him come in.

Speaker 2 They really ridiculed him

Speaker 2 just because of the way he looked. This is how people treat people.
You see that, Rudy? What does that teach you? Be nice.

Speaker 2 In the Philippines, do they have things like that? Yeah. Oh, dude.
I feel like the Philippines has probably been. What have you seen there? Um

Speaker 3 faces that are burned like like hal like middle or half

Speaker 2 Wait, why did they get burned? They burn

Speaker 3 fire. There's a lot of fire accidents that happen there.

Speaker 2 Why are there so many fire accidents in the Philippines?

Speaker 3 Like the gasoline, it's not

Speaker 3 How do you say it? It's not

Speaker 3 hot.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 is that

Speaker 2 really hot?

Speaker 3 No, the gasoline is just you just buy a gasoline the tank.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 3 and then

Speaker 3 some people just leave it

Speaker 3 on.

Speaker 2 Oh, so they I don't know what you mean.

Speaker 2 I know what they mean. Yeah.
They buy the tank of gasoline, they light it on fire, and they go to sleep and they just leave it

Speaker 2 in their house on their house, right next to me, as a pillow. Is that a normal thing to just be like,

Speaker 2 to light it and walk away? No, they don't light it up. Do you mean propane? Yeah,

Speaker 2 not gasoline,

Speaker 2 so they have propane accidents, propane accidents. So it's a tank, yeah.

Speaker 2 And what's it connected to? Like stoves, stoves, right? Yeah. So, so

Speaker 2 blows up a lot? Yeah. And then

Speaker 2 they, oh, my. Have you ever had a close friend have a gas have a propane accident? No, nobody you know nobody I know.

Speaker 2 Oh, just you see people though and do people are people mean to them in the streets? They do they do yeah, what do they say to them?

Speaker 2 What's something that they would say like like ugly or um they say it out loud? They just yell ugly. Yeah, wow.

Speaker 2 Yeah society. But

Speaker 2 that's bad. It's bad.
They just yell ugly.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and they make fun of them, like like push them around.

Speaker 2 What really? What? They fucking shoulder check them? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 They hockey check. Yeah.

Speaker 2 They tackle them. Is that normal? Is that normal to do? Do people not say anything when someone's mean to somebody who has a burn?

Speaker 2 Is there a nickname? Do they call them something? Yeah. Bernies?

Speaker 3 No, I don't. I've never heard of nicknames.

Speaker 2 They just, they're mean to people in the streets like that. Yeah.
God, that's so sad. That's sad.
That's so sad that you would just do that to someone. They're probably cruel.

Speaker 2 Like for Halloween, right? They know a guy that was in a fire. Right.
So then you dress up as an egg

Speaker 2 Right and you just kind of stand next to him. Yeah bacon, you know, whatever you know I mean just fucking fucked up shit

Speaker 2 Right fucked up shit. That's funny though.
Yeah, but hey guys, that's not me being mean. It was just a hypothetical thing.
Okay, stop don't don't Instagram nothing

Speaker 2 Okay, so Rudy wants to take acting classes. Yeah, baby, and we want to get her into the biz Well, yeah, I think that she has the the bug right now.

Speaker 2 She's got the potential for sure to get the potential, right? A great actor because i wish like how old were you when you first started i was uh 30. yeah like like i didn't get a job until i was uh

Speaker 2 27 or 8 or something yeah if i started at 18 that would have been like i would have been the next uh leo you think do you think so yeah man do you think you would have been leo the next leo yeah

Speaker 2 Titanic 2, right baby? Titanic 2. The boat comes back? No.

Speaker 2 The whole movie's underwater, baby. Oh, that's tight.
Yeah, I'm still living down there, baby. Aquaman stuff.
Yeah, I do. So you're living in the water.
I'm still, you know what I mean? You're Jesus?

Speaker 2 No, I'm in the front of the boat. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 I'm the king of the... I'm the king of the world.
I'm the king of the Wonder World.

Speaker 2 Underwater World.

Speaker 2 Water World. And then Kevin Costner is going to be there.

Speaker 2 He'll be there, too. He'll be there.
Yeah, yeah. And then Josh Jason Mamoa.
Was he in Underwater World? Well, he's the Aquaman. Oh, yeah, that's him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's hot.

Speaker 2 And then you know who else is going to be in my movie? Who else? I'm going to have Nemo. The fish? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Nemo, SpongeBob. Oh, okay, okay.
It's great. Who else? Titanic 2, right? Titanic 2.
Who else is going to be there? Is Nemo, SpongeBob? Yeah, I'm. Bobby Lee.
Bobby Lee.

Speaker 2 Well, do you get billed higher than those guys, or does SpongeBob get top billing? SpongeBob goes first. So SpongeBob.
Featuring SpongeBob. Well, it's three headline.
Oh, it goes SpongeBob, right?

Speaker 2 SpongeBob. Nemo.
Nemo. Bobby Lee, right? And also

Speaker 2 featuring Kevin Costner. Kevin Costner.
Yeah, I mean, Jason Momoa. Jason Momoa Moa, right? The Little Mermaid, the priest from Little Mermaid, who gets a bony.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And Sebastian the Crab. Yeah.
And then

Speaker 2 a special, special appearance. Super special appearance.
John F. Kennedy Jr.

Speaker 2 And Jimmy Hoffa. And Jimmy Hoffa.
Because they're both at the bottom of the ocean, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Together at last. Together at last.

Speaker 2 In

Speaker 2 Titanic 2.

Speaker 2 And what's the subtitle?

Speaker 2 Funwater World. Thunderwater.
Thunderwater. That's it.
Thunderwater. Thunderwater.
Thunderwater. I love it.
Did she get a role in the movie? No. Nope.

Speaker 2 Well, she has to push it. Well, she auditioned five times.
She didn't get it.

Speaker 2 We screen tested her. Oh, you did? Yeah.
What did the audience think?

Speaker 2 Well, they couldn't understand what she was saying. Yeah.
What is the little brown girl saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't understand a word she's saying.
Is that Dora?

Speaker 2 Is that Dora the Explorer? Now, listen, I like Mexican stuff. Yeah, yeah.
Like their food and their music, but I just don't like it.

Speaker 2 It's like an underwater apocalypto. I get it.
Right, right. There's a Mayan tempo.
She's fucking killing shit. But how did the Mexicans get in? Now, did they swim under the wall, underwater?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a scene for you I'd like you to read.
A very famous movie called On the Waterfront. Do you know what that is? You've never heard of it in your life? No.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Bobby's going to play opposite of you, okay? So we're going to see. I need my lines.
Do I have lines? We're going to put them on. Okay, good.
But I want to see your acting ability.

Speaker 2 Okay, and I want you to take this. No.
No, no, no. Don't do that.
Don't take this seriously. Don't do that.
No laughing. Don't do that.
Please take it serious. Okay, great.

Speaker 2 Say, I will take it serious. I'll take it serious.
Hell yeah. And you don't, it's a scene from a movie? It's from On the Waterfront.

Speaker 2 Oh, we're doing three scenes, but the first one we're doing is from On the Waterfront. On the On the Waterfront.
Because everybody wants to know if you truly do have what it takes to make me.

Speaker 2 I'm so scared because I've never seen the movie. You've never seen it? No.
Rando's in it, right?

Speaker 2 This is going to be good. Brando's in it, right? All right, so look.
So, so.

Speaker 2 Who am I playing? Well,

Speaker 2 you've literally never seen this movie one time? No. Do you have any reference to what it's about? I think it's by a, it's, let me just guess.
Let's have a guess. It's the docks?

Speaker 2 It's about, what do you mean? Oh, about the docks, the water docks? Yeah? Yeah, yeah. It's not really in the middle of the ocean, the movie.

Speaker 2 I just remember it being in the docks, you know, Brando's in it, and it's kind of black and white. Yeah.
And it's dreary.

Speaker 2 Okay. Is it dreary? Yeah.
Okay, good. Dreary is good.
Good.

Speaker 2 So here's the deal.

Speaker 2 I'm going to read the action. Yeah, who am I playing? You're going to be Charlie and you're going to be Terry.

Speaker 2 Okay? Rude? Okay. And I want you.
I'm taking it. It's serious.
Do you need to take a beat? Do you need to step outside? No. That's what they say in rooms.
Do you want to step outside? Okay.

Speaker 2 Charlie continues looking at him. He does not deny it.
They stare at each other for a moment. Then suddenly Terry starts out of the cab.
Charlie pulls a pistol.

Speaker 2 Terry's motionless now, looking at Charlie. Pick the boss landing, kid.
For God's sakes, I don't want to hurt you. Hush gently, guiding the gun down toward Charlie's lap.

Speaker 3 Charlie, Charlie.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 I wish I didn't have to do this, Terry. Terry eyes him beaten.
Charlie leans back and looks at Terry strangely.

Speaker 2 Terry raises his hand above his head, somewhat in the manner of a prize fighter mitting the crowd. The image nicks Charlie's memory.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 What do you weigh these days, slugger?

Speaker 3 878-88. What's it to you?

Speaker 2 Gee, when you tip 175, you were beautiful. You should have been another Billy Kahn.
What s that skunk I got to manage you brought you along too fast?

Speaker 3 It wasn't him. It was you, Charlie.
You and Johnny. Like the night the two of you come into the dressing room and says, kid, this isn't...
This ain't your night.

Speaker 3 We're going for the pract for the prize on Wilson. It ain't my night.
I've taken Wilson apart that night. I I was ready.
Remember the early rounds, throwing them combinations?

Speaker 2 So what happens?

Speaker 2 This bombson, he gets the title shot.

Speaker 3 Outdoors in the ballpark. And what do I get? A couple of bucks and a one-way ticket to Paloo- Palukaville!

Speaker 2 Palukaville.

Speaker 3 It was you, Charlie. You was my brother.
You should have looked out for me instead of making me take them dives for the shot short and money.

Speaker 2 I always had a bet down for you. You saw some money.

Speaker 3 See, you don't understand.

Speaker 2 I try to keep you in good with Johnny.

Speaker 3 You don't understand. I could have been a contender.
I could have been, I could have had class and been somebody, real class, instead of a bum. Let's face it, which is what I am.
It was you, Charlie.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 I might need to go home. Oh, my God.
I might need to go home. Is there an Oscar here?

Speaker 2 Do you have

Speaker 2 a we have an Andres? Oh, yeah, we have an Andreas. Oh, you met the statue.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just in Mars.

Speaker 2 That was incredible. Moving.

Speaker 2 Really? Moving. Yeah.
Combonier nation.

Speaker 2 I mean, you know, when people read that on the script, right?

Speaker 2 You know, as a regular actor or whatever, just an average actor, I would have read it combination. You read

Speaker 2 those one-to-one. You know, the great actors, they take a word and they make it their own.
Like, like an animal. Like a balloon animal.
Right, right, like a balloon animal.

Speaker 2 Look at that.

Speaker 2 And, you know, normally people would go, you know, how should I say this? Right? Combination, right?

Speaker 2 And they process it. She didn't process it.
That's how fast it is. Instantaneous.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Wow.
Oh, my God. Rudy Jules.

Speaker 2 Bueno, bueno, bueno. That's incredible.
That's incredible. You're going to be a superstar.
Yeah, yeah. Next scene.
Okay, you and I, Bob, are going to read a scene. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I want you and I to read a scene, and it's from, it's a great scene from Stepbrothers, which I really love. I haven't seen it.

Speaker 2 They were at the Doeback house at night. Dale and Brennan are laying separate residents.
They similar to each other. You can pick whoever you want to.
I'll start with Dale then. Okay, go ahead.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, Dale has a lot of lines. I'll be Brennan.
And remember this. I'll be Brennan.
We're laying in separate beds in the middle of the night. I'll be Brennan.

Speaker 2 And this is more for me than it is for anybody. Go ahead.
I'll be Brennan. Okay.
Go ahead. Hey.

Speaker 2 You awake?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I just want you to know I hate you. And so does my dad.
Well, that's fine. Because guess what? I hate you too.
And this house sucks ass.

Speaker 2 Well, the only reason you're living here is because me and my dad decided that your mom was really hot. And maybe we should both just bang her.
And we'll put up with the retard in the meantime.

Speaker 2 Who's the retard? You. Hey, you don't say that.

Speaker 2 Shut up.

Speaker 2 Shut up. You'll wake up my dad and get me grounded.
Just shut up. You and your mom are hillbillies.
This is a house of learned doctors. You're not a doctor, and you're a big, fat, girly-headed fuck.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah?

Speaker 2 Yeah. I'm a girly-headed fuck.
Yeah, and you better not go to sleep. As soon as your eyes shut, I'm going to punch you square in the face.

Speaker 2 I hope you stay still when you sleep, because I'm putting a rat trap between your legs. I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it with bats, bars of soap, and beat the shit out of you.

Speaker 2 I want you out of my fucking house. No way, Simboza Bazi.
This is my house now.

Speaker 2 Kimo Sabi? Oh, I couldn't read it.

Speaker 2 Because my eyes are... Dude, I can't read.
My eyes, I need glasses. That's good.
Yeah, yeah. Pretty good.
I like that scene. Pretty good.
I like that scene. Jules now, though.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we have one more with Jules. Yeah, that was really for me and you.
There's another scene with that.

Speaker 2 This is the Big Lebowski. This one is, this is great.
This is awesome. So I want, I'm going to be, okay.
Yeah, you do the lines now. I already did it.
So I'm going to do it with Rudy? Yeah.

Speaker 2 But I want you to be Smokey. Smokey's going to come up at the end of the scene.
Okay. And it's two lines.
All right.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 she should play Walter. No, because I want her to get intense.

Speaker 2 I want to feel her.

Speaker 2 Because we saw the intensity. Oh, no, you're right.
We saw intensity out of on the waterfront. Should we see her play the dude? A stoner? Stoner or intense? Yeah, so the dude is a stoner.

Speaker 2 You know what stoner is? He smokes a lot of weed. He's a man in his probably mid-40s.
Late. Late 40s.
Yeah, who lives in Los Angeles and can't get his life.

Speaker 2 He goes to the grocery store, wears like a bathrobe, you know, with sunglasses. This is you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 You're playing me. This is you.

Speaker 2 And the other guy is a Vietnam vet. Yeah, he's like hated.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're gonna fucking do it. I think you're gonna do it.

Speaker 2 I think you're gonna do it. You're gonna do it.
All right, so you're playing the dude, you're a pothead, and I'm gonna be Walter. And well, depending on how it goes, we can swap.

Speaker 2 We can switch it around.

Speaker 2 Are you ready? Ready?

Speaker 2 I'll do stage stage direction. All right, do stage direction.
He lets a small yapping dog out of the carrier. It scoots around the bowling table, sniffing

Speaker 2 at bowlers and wagging its tail.

Speaker 3 Hey, man, if my fucking ex-wife asked me to take care of her fucking dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu, I'd tell her to go fuck herself.

Speaker 2 Why can't she board it? First of all, dude, you don't have an ex. Secondly, it's a fucking show dog with papers.
You can't board it. It gets upset.

Speaker 2 Its hair falls out. Hey, man.
Fucking dog has papers, dude. Over the line.

Speaker 3 Smokey, huh?

Speaker 2 That's you. That's you.
Your stage direction. Oh, yeah.
Smokey turns. Let's start it again.
Let's try it again.

Speaker 2 And let me say something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're going to give you a no. We're going to give you a no, right?

Speaker 2 You're rushing through the line.

Speaker 2 More weed. More weed.
You're high man. Let it settle in.

Speaker 2 Nice and slow.

Speaker 2 You don't have to rush through it. It's not a fucking contest.

Speaker 2 This isn't anime. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There is no rapid scenes of shooting lights and then

Speaker 2 all right, you ready? Okay. Okay, really stoned.
You're stoned. Peep your eyes low, too.

Speaker 2 Yeah, though, there it is. Perfect.
Okay, go ahead. Go ahead.
Go ahead. Oh, he lets a small yapping dog out of the carrier.

Speaker 2 It scoots around the bowling table, sniffing sniffing at boulders and wagging its tail.

Speaker 3 Amen.

Speaker 2 Come on.

Speaker 2 Stop. Do the line again.
Ready? Come on. Do action.

Speaker 3 Amen. If my fucking ex-wife asked me to take care of her fucking dog, will she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu?

Speaker 2 Stop, stop, stop. It's way too fast.

Speaker 2 Slow.

Speaker 2 You're my waiting.

Speaker 3 You read the line first.

Speaker 2 No, no, no. The first line was perfect.
Yeah. You keep that and

Speaker 2 that's what you keep. Okay.
Do you want me to do a reading for you? Yeah, yeah. Listen to how this sounds.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Hey, man, if my fucking ex-wife asked me to take care of her fucking dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu, I'd tell her to go fuck herself. Why can't she board it? See what I mean?

Speaker 2 Nice and slower.

Speaker 2 Right. And action.

Speaker 3 Hey, man.

Speaker 3 If my fucking ex-wife asked me to take care of her fucking dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu, I'd tell her to fuck herself.

Speaker 2 Why can't she board it? First of all, dude, you don't have an ex. Secondly, it's a fucking show dog with fucking papers.
You can't board it. It gets upset.
Its hair falls out. Hey, man.

Speaker 2 Fucking dog has papers, dude. Over the line!

Speaker 2 Smokey turns from his last roll to look at Walter.

Speaker 2 It's you. Smokey, huh? You again.

Speaker 2 Over the line, Smokey. I'm sorry.
That's a foul.

Speaker 2 That's you. That's you.
You're Smokey bullshit eight dude. Excuse me mark it zero next frame

Speaker 2 Bullshit Walter. This is not nom.
This is bowling. There are rules.

Speaker 3 Come on Walter. It's just it's Smokey.
So his toes slip over a little. It's just gay.

Speaker 2 This is a league game. This determines who enters next round Robin.
Am I wrong?

Speaker 2 Yeah, but am I wrong?

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I wasn't over. Give me the marker, dude.
I'm marking it on eight. Smokey, my friend, you're entering a world of pain.
Hey, Walter. Mark that frame eight, dude.

Speaker 2 You're entering a world of pain. I'm not.
A world of pain.

Speaker 2 Look, dude, I don't hold with this. This guy is your partner.
You should. Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it, zero.

Speaker 2 Very good. Very good.
I think, I think, they might do remakes one day.

Speaker 2 I think you have a future in the biz, but if there's anybody out there listening, if you guys are acting coaches with any acclaim,

Speaker 2 how about give her some free acting lessons?

Speaker 2 But I honestly think that she should take some sort of improv class to get, you know, like a UCB or something, something like that.

Speaker 2 Like, you know, you know, I have a friend named Colton, you know, Colton Dunn, or something like that. Yeah, but he's an actor now.
He's a big guy. He's on Supervisor.

Speaker 2 He's an actor and a very funny improv comedian. Well, he was a writer at Mad TV for years.
Was he a stand-up at some point, too? No? No, but he also taught at UCB. He's a really talented guy.

Speaker 2 But I would like somebody like that to teach a class and have, have, you know, her enter it so that she can,

Speaker 2 because she, you know, she's shy. Yeah.
You know, so it'll get her out of herself. But she's broken.
She's broken open on this show. I think she has.
You know?

Speaker 2 Colton's probably got the best job on Superstore. He's paralyzed, so he just has to sit in a chair all day.
There's no standing at all. Yeah.
What a great gig. It's a great gig.

Speaker 2 I want to be paralyzed in my next role. I want to be in a coma.
That's what Eric Griffiths says all the time. Really? He wants to be, he says his next show, he wants to be a, um,

Speaker 2 he wants to be a detective, a mental detective who gives clues to people from a coma. So they just walk up to him and touch his chest, and it

Speaker 2 transfers information to them. So they know that.

Speaker 2 How about this? Better yet. Better yet.

Speaker 2 I'm a character that died.

Speaker 2 I'm in a casket. Yeah.
But for all five seasons. Yeah.
Right? And eventually, like, my character gets so popular that I eventually go, yeah, just put

Speaker 2 a dummy in there. You have a double for your casket? Yeah, yeah.
Because he doesn't move anyway. I don't want to wake up.
Like, you know, you know, I love Star Trek Next Generation.

Speaker 2 Here's what they do. They cut to you and it's just your voiceover.
So you just have to record from home. That's right.
So it's just you speaking through your telepathy. Yeah.
That's genius.

Speaker 2 That's genius. And you do it, like, you know, once a week.
Yep. You wake up, you just do it.
You don't even give a fuck. Scan through it.
Yeah, you scan through it.

Speaker 2 You're in bed still. You do it on your iPhone.

Speaker 2 Right. Fucking 50 grand.
How great would that be? I mean, that's kind of like what,

Speaker 2 what's his name?

Speaker 2 Wheel of Fortune. What's his name? I kind of think of his name.
Pat Sajak? You know, they record for like four months and then he just disappears.

Speaker 2 So four months, he works like every day, and then for the rest of the year, he literally just goes and goes on vacation.

Speaker 2 Four months, that's it. You're like, boop, done, I'm done.
I have a pleasure for you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because you know who Eric Olson is?

Speaker 2 I don't know. He's on NCIS Los Angeles, but he was also, you know, he played Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber.

Speaker 2 Yes, I know who he is. So he's a great guy.
Him and Matt Damon, right?

Speaker 2 Matt Damon? Was he the other guy, Dumb and Dumber? No, not Dumb and Dumber. They were in a note.
It stuck to you. That was Matt Damon's.
Yeah, but I don't think it's Eric Olson. I don't really know.

Speaker 2 You don't know what you're saying. Yeah, I have no idea what I'm talking about.
Yeah, but Eric Olson. Okay.

Speaker 2 Why would you add that? My brain isn't working.

Speaker 2 Well, I was like, so Eric Olson, I was doing NCIS, and, you know. He was saying that he was doing community.
He was on community, guest starring. Oh, yeah.
And he was doing a scene with Chevy Chase.

Speaker 2 He pissed chevy chase off dude i've heard he gets and chevy chase grabbed him by the neck and like tried to pull him off you know i mean like up the wall yeah yeah if you if and if an actor like chevy chase hit you in the face or strangled you on set what would you do fight back as hard as i could beat the shit out of chevy chase on set i'd kill him i would actually no you wouldn't if he put his hands on me i'd hurt him immediately i wouldn't even think twice i wouldn't even think twice i don't know but

Speaker 2 the director everyone's laying around

Speaker 2 really if he put his hands on me i'd i'd punch him in the fucking head okay what if it was a what Chevy Chase in a coma? What if it was a,

Speaker 2 let's say you're doing a movie. Okay.
The biggest movie of your life. You're doing a movie with...
The Batman. I'm the new Robert Pattinson got COVID and they wanted me and I'm the Batman.

Speaker 2 No, you're more like the Robin. Fine.

Speaker 2 You're the Robin. I get it.
Okay, you're right, right. The Robin, right?

Speaker 2 And they get

Speaker 2 Scorsese to direct it. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 2 And you're...

Speaker 2 You know who's the nemesis? Bane. They get Tom Hardy to redo his

Speaker 2 in Bane. Kind of be hard to not want to make out with him when I see him in scenes.
Right. So you're doing a scene.
Yeah. And it's a scene where Bane is grabbing Robin by the neck

Speaker 2 and pulling up, right? So he's doing it. Yeah.
Right? You're in the scene. Scorsese goes, cut,

Speaker 2 but you're still up there. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And he squeezes harder and harder and harder because he's so into the character. Right? You can't breathe at this point.
Yeah, I'm dying. You're dying almost.
Turning blue.

Speaker 2 You're like, stop, stop, man. Scene's over, right?

Speaker 2 I don't know how you should.

Speaker 2 And then. He goes, I've got to kill him.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so

Speaker 2 what would you do?

Speaker 2 Honestly, I think Tom Hardy's very attractive, so I'd probably let him kill me. No, really, but what would you do? Yeah.
Got? I would take it. You suck his dick.

Speaker 2 I'd split myself upside down and

Speaker 2 69 each other. You suck Tom Hardy.
No, what would I do if Tom Hardy? Would you suck Tom Hardy? Yeah, no, no. No, no, no.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 No, no. Would you suck his dick? Yes, no.

Speaker 2 No. What would I do if you would have to be honest?

Speaker 2 Honestly, honestly? Yeah, you would. For me? Yeah.
No.

Speaker 2 Absolutely.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 No way to do it. No, but if I was at a party, though? Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, I'm being real. You would.
If I was using,

Speaker 2 if I was using, let's say, let's say I was sober. I'm still smoking weed.
I'm drunk. Right? Yeah.
And I'm at a party and I see fucking Keanu's there. Keanu's there.
Charlice Theron's there.

Speaker 2 Everyone's there. They're all doing Coke.

Speaker 2 Everyone's doing it, right? What's up, Bob? Right, everyone's doing it. And Tom is like, what's up? Hello, Mike.
I'm like, what's up, man? I love big fan. You know, hey, come over here.

Speaker 2 Did some cocaine around it? Hey, Bobby, you want to come over and do cocaine? Yeah, so I do cocaine one of them. He's sober too, but let's say he relapsed.

Speaker 2 And then he's just like, all right, here's a straw. And as I grab the straw, right? As I grab the straw, I realize it's his penis.

Speaker 2 Right?

Speaker 2 It's his penis, right? And I'm, and at this point, what do I do? I go, hey, man, your normal guy would go, hey, man, that's a good trade. That's your dick, man.
Come on. Yeah, not me.

Speaker 2 I would probably, you know, it's ad information.

Speaker 2 Right. It's always a yes and it's a yes and right.
I can't deny it. Right.
So I would go, haha.

Speaker 2 And I would suck it.

Speaker 2 I would suck it so hard. And he's like, dude, it was just a joke, right? Me too.

Speaker 2 Me too, yeah.

Speaker 2 Just kidding around.

Speaker 2 You know how funny it would be

Speaker 2 if Tom already put his penis there and I would just nuzzle it with my nose.

Speaker 2 Oh, you would ask him or kiss it?

Speaker 2 I would ask him to kiss it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then flick is nothing. Yeah.
He's no. If Tom Hardy, if someone was in a scene doing that, because I've seen that kind of stuff, I thought of this.

Speaker 2 It is really weird you say that, because I literally thought of that

Speaker 2 before we came today because I was watching some of these scenes while I was getting some of these scripts.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 there's a scene where Finkel is Einhorn, Einhorn is Finkel from Ace Ventura, where he proves that she's a man. Oh, yeah, yeah.
And he goes, Would a man have these?

Speaker 2 And he exposes her breasts and he goes but what about this he also pulls on her hair so fucking hard he's like it's a wig dude when you see it i have to bring it up when you see how hard he pulls like you're talking about yeah because you know sometimes when you're acting with somebody oh yeah like i've gotten i've had to do like fight scenes and stuff like that yeah you it's it sucks i did that to daniel gaither what did you do so we were doing a war you know the movie the movie warriors yeah We were doing a warrior scene.

Speaker 2 I'm listening. I'm just going to bring this up.
And I had a scene where I I was playing a character that I do called the Blind Kung Fu Master.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I do a character called The Blind Kung Fu Master.
Yeah. And, you know, I'm like, and this is your real hair.
Right? And I grab her head, right? And I think it's her real hair. It's not a wig.

Speaker 2 It is a wig. Well, you think you've got a hair.
I think her real hair underneath it. I think it's her real hair, but I grab it, I realize, oh, it's her wig.

Speaker 2 I think it'd be funny if I just pull it off. Oh, no.
Right. In front of an audience right but the wig is attached to

Speaker 2 your real

Speaker 2 hair bobby bob hair bob she put a bottle a bunch of bobby pins that's how they attach wigs right yeah and I say I pull it clumps of her hair come out and I can see a bald spot with blood and she's like what the fuck are you doing man you know I mean and she's like freaking the fuck out yeah and I was like oh my god it hurts so much oh my god I did that for real I've had people pull on it I've had people pull on a wig when I'm on I'm dying up here I had had people pull on it, they sew it into your hair and they glue it to your face.

Speaker 2 They do, yeah. It rips, it hurts so much so much.
Yeah, it's so. Look at this scene.
That's funny. Look at this scene.
You can't tell me that this isn't

Speaker 2 that this didn't hurt. There's no way that this didn't hurt because it looks too real.
Ah! Oh, here. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Let's just see who's lying, shall we?

Speaker 4 Would a real woman have to wear one of these? Ah!

Speaker 2 Boy, that's really on there.

Speaker 2 There's no way that didn't hurt her head, especially when he puts his other hand on it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That? Wow.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 But you know what? You know what? She could have, bro, she could have liked it. They could have rehearsed that.
That looks pretty good. Yeah, she could have got.

Speaker 2 I'm just going to go back, but don't really pull it.

Speaker 2 This is either good camera work or great acting.

Speaker 4 Have to wear one of these.

Speaker 2 Oh, Oh, that's that pretty hard, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't know. That looks like, by the way, Tone Loke, one of the greatest underrated actors,

Speaker 2 one of the greatest, not only actors, but musicians and also personalities. Yeah.
I forgot he was in this until I realized. Oh, how skinny he is.
I mean, he was a tiny guy when he did this.

Speaker 2 And Courtney Cox, super young. I forgot how many people were in this movie.
Dude, that movie, this movie? Ace Ventura was

Speaker 2 changed my life.

Speaker 2 I remember going to the theater, watching it. Me too.
It changed me. This is why, you know, he's

Speaker 2 undeniably why I became a comedian. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And then you became friends with him.

Speaker 2 He was my boss. I wouldn't say friends.
I'd say he was my boss. He was a great boss.
But honestly,

Speaker 2 him, this whole movie, talking out of your butthole, I mean, I remember laughing so hard, it hurt. My body hurt.
But I think Dumb and Dumber stealed the deal for me. No, it's the better of the movies.

Speaker 2 Yes, it's the better. It's so funny.
Because it's joke per minute. It's just like, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.
So many jokes, yeah. But this had a lot.
You know,

Speaker 2 the scene in the

Speaker 2 scene where he's like, put me in, coach. You know, where he's got the, he's trying to check into the crazy house.

Speaker 2 And that was phenomenal. The guano scene with the bat shit.
I want to ask you this. Everyone loves us linky.
I mean, I've always wanted to ask you this. Yeah.

Speaker 2 What's your top five movies?

Speaker 2 I know I hate top 10 lists. Sure.
They do it on the internet. But I don't know that about you.
Comedy? Because when you said

Speaker 2 that,

Speaker 2 what album did you say you liked? Okay, Computer. Okay, Computer.
It freaked me. That freaked me out.
Why? Because you just didn't think you were going to be able to do it.

Speaker 2 Because I just think that you're more of a creedy kind of. Oh, shut up.
Now you're baiting. No, no, I'm being.
No, I'm not doing that. I just think that you like corn or creed, that type of guy.

Speaker 2 First of all, those two things have nothing to do with it. Corn and Creed are not to do with it.
No, but I eat either one. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 No, being real, I think. But you know how much I love.
First of all, you know how much I love hip-hop. That's crazy to me.

Speaker 2 I loved it.

Speaker 2 It's crazy.

Speaker 2 I used to rap when I was a movie.

Speaker 2 That's crazy. Top five movies.

Speaker 2 Across the board?

Speaker 2 You looked at me, right? I'm a guy. Comedy, anything? No, anything.
I'm a guy. Yeah.
I'm an alien. Yeah.
Right? Hello. Hi.
I would like you. I've heard this.

Speaker 2 Are you Stephen Hawking or are you an alien? I'm Stephen Hawking.

Speaker 2 What is your favorite movie? So what, um,

Speaker 2 you know, I don't know what film is. Could you tell me? I don't have a lot of time.
Okay. I have, you know, only three days here, and I want to watch five movies.

Speaker 2 Give me the five movies that would best represent cinema. Cinema? Or just movies in general? God.

Speaker 2 Casino.

Speaker 2 The Princess Bride. Oh, great.
Big.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 I'm doing another Tom Hanks. Oh, my God.
It's like three.

Speaker 2 Everything he's ever done. I think Catch Me If You Can is one of the greatest movies of all time.
Great story, but it's based on something real. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I got to give you some history. I can't, if I'm going to, you have to do something like.
Do another with Tom Hanks, Wild.

Speaker 2 Saving Pro Ryan.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was going to to go. I would go with

Speaker 2 Platoon. Wait, I said big.

Speaker 2 I said big. You want me to give you

Speaker 2 films? No, no, no, no, no. I said big.
Schindler's Liz, maybe? That's the one. Schindler's? He's in that, right? He's Schindler? No.
Tom Hanks is not Schindler. No, no, he's not Schindler.

Speaker 2 No, Force Gump. I mean, dude, he's made how many.
No, but getting away from you, seriously, seriously.

Speaker 2 Based on the fire. Let me do it.
Casino.

Speaker 2 Princess Bride.

Speaker 2 Big.

Speaker 2 Bronx Tale. Wow.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 God, there's so many movies. It's hard to recategorize.
And then probably...

Speaker 2 And I would say Star Wars. And that's not because I'm a big Star Wars fan.
That's because what it did to movies. It's cultural.
It changed the movie. It was a cultural phenomenon.

Speaker 2 It changed, but it still does. Yeah,

Speaker 2 you are a creed corn guy. Why? He's a star.

Speaker 2 I listed great films.

Speaker 2 You're a creed and corn guy, and I'm trying to be kind to you. I love you.
But they're very interesting choices. I don't like any of those bands.
I don't like either of those bands.

Speaker 2 They're interesting choices. And you can't compare music to movies.
You're right. Okay, here you go.

Speaker 2 I just came down from space.

Speaker 2 What are your five favorite films that would depict cinema? I don't have a lot of time here on it. Debbie Does Dallas? Debbie Does Dallas.

Speaker 2 Okay, what else?

Speaker 2 Probably something off of Pornhub. I don't know.
So, my top five? I don't have much time.

Speaker 2 All right. So

Speaker 2 I would have to go

Speaker 2 I would probably do a Western.

Speaker 2 So I would probably do Blazing Saddles? No, Sergio Leone's The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Great movie.
It's a great movie. Yeah, it's a great movie.
It just shows you, you know, that era.

Speaker 2 I don't have much time. Okay, number two, I would have to do go a Curacao film, for sure.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Don't roll your eyes. That's so fucking dumb that you just did that.
Recommend me a David. He's an alien.
He's an alien. He wants to know about the world.

Speaker 2 You're going to suggest Infinite Jest to me next as a book. Whoa, dude.
I'll rip your face up. You're a basic.
kid. You're basic.
You're basic. What corn album do you like? I don't know corn.

Speaker 2 I don't know corn. All right, go ahead.
Go ahead.

Speaker 2 Can I do my fucking thing? Right, yeah, yes. I would probably do

Speaker 2 Ron.

Speaker 2 Ron? Yeah, it's a curse alpha. Funches? Yeah.
No, Ron. It's called Ron, R-A-N, and it's

Speaker 2 a colored movie.

Speaker 2 We don't have much time. Okay, number three, I would go.

Speaker 2 I would have to do

Speaker 2 Apocalypse Now,

Speaker 2 okay,

Speaker 2 it's a war movie. I haven't done a war movie yet.
No, you're right, it's a war movie,

Speaker 2 yeah. It's also, it's got some fantasy in it, too, a little bit,

Speaker 2 you know. It's just, yeah, I like it.
Okay, that's four, yeah, that's three. Oh, what? Yeah, yeah, Kurosawa, Kurosawa, the good, the badly ugly,

Speaker 2 and also, um, Apocalypse Now, Apocalypse Now, okay, number four would have to be um

Speaker 2 our spaceship is warming up.

Speaker 2 You know, I would do something, a comedy, a comedy that, you know, I would have to have a comedy in there. Yeah, I would probably do, this is going to sound so stupid, you're going to hate this.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 But it's because it's a little artsy. I just really think it's funny and cute.
But

Speaker 2 I would do

Speaker 2 The Royal Tender Bombs.

Speaker 2 Okay. The Royal Tender Bombs.
I like, that's not a traditional comedy, dude. But it's good.
Yeah. It's good.
You would pick Big.

Speaker 2 Big is unequivocally one of the most fantasy/slash reality, well-written.

Speaker 2 It doesn't make any sense. Big?

Speaker 2 A fortune-teller machine turned him into a fucking kid or an adult. What the fuck is this? Perhaps it was a metaphor.
Do you think that deeply?

Speaker 2 Anyway, can I go do my fifth? Yeah, please. You fucking asshole.
Big is a phenomenal movie. Front to back, upside down.

Speaker 2 Some of the most comedically hilarious scenes Tom Hanks has ever done. Give me the ball, Baskin.
He gets into a fist fight over a handball. So funny.

Speaker 2 That movie is so good. The piano scene in F.A.O.
Schwartz, like one of the most iconic scenes in film history. That's an iconic scene in film.

Speaker 2 Andres, who went to film school? Is the F.A.O. Schwartz scene from Big one of the most iconic scenes in film history?

Speaker 2 It's well-known.

Speaker 2 Not iconic. It is iconic.
Okay, Andreas, based on what

Speaker 2 coming. Andreas, based on fucking, based on the movies we just suggested, Andreas, right? What would they teach in film school? Oh, that's not what we're going for.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you said, what are my five movies? Well, what if no notes? You brought up film school. Yeah, because he knows movies.
So he knows.

Speaker 2 So he knows. Right.
I'm just one of them. I just want to.
I'm curious. I'm curious.
Go ahead, Andreas. They're pretentious assholes in film school, first of all.
I know. I'm pretentious.

Speaker 2 They are, aren't they, Andreas? They are. Yeah.
It's pretty much.

Speaker 2 Andreas, though, in terms of film school.

Speaker 2 He was just going to say something. Kuro Sawa might be in there.
Yeah. Yeah, it would.

Speaker 2 Honestly, Andreas, listen to me right now, okay? Of course, Penny Marshall films aren't going to be in film school. Would Big be in film school? Would they even say the movie? Probably not.
No.

Speaker 2 Thank you. But you didn't say, you didn't say what movies

Speaker 2 would be in film school.

Speaker 2 I'm giving an alien what I think is dope. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Go ahead. The fifth one's going to drive you crazy.
Yeah, I know. Yeah.
The Royal Tenenbombs, by the way. You're a comedian, and you think that's the comedy you'd give them? Yeah, because it's...
Ooh.

Speaker 2 Okay. I would probably do Paris, Texas as my fifth.

Speaker 2 Would they teach that in film school? Probably. Yeah.
Yeah. Pretentious poo-poo crap.
Good movies, good movies.

Speaker 2 Anyway, Corn,

Speaker 2 what else do you want to? It's so funny that you pretend like you like high-end stuff, but you're the most low-end booger person on earth. I really am.
And also, you yelled at me.

Speaker 2 You just yelled at me way louder than I ever yell at you.

Speaker 2 And you said last week,

Speaker 2 take a poll over who yells first. Do you remember that? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we did. Okay.
Yeah, we did. Twitter responded.

Speaker 2 Let's take a look at what this says, Bob. Can you read that? Yeah.
Rudy, why don't you tell tell me what this says? Just read that out loud.

Speaker 2 The fans can see it, but go ahead and tell me what it says there, Rude.

Speaker 3 Titobabi has 60%.

Speaker 2 Hold on, hold on, sorry. There you go.
What does it say?

Speaker 3 Titobabi has 60.5%, and Andrew has 39.5%.

Speaker 2 The final results are in

Speaker 2 2,200 votes. It's a betrayal.
No, no, no, it's fact. You yell first.
It's betrayal from the audience. How? They just know.
They ran out of the face.

Speaker 2 They don't know. Yeah, no, they do know.
You know, it really is sad. It really is.
I think you've skewed this fucking this. Yeah.
I think the fans now, I can see it. You know, I'm.

Speaker 2 I'm cracked open the channel. I'm not blind.
I'm not blind, and I'm not dumb. Wow.
And

Speaker 2 I go on the internet and I read things. One of two.
I read things. One of two.

Speaker 2 Is that an eye joke? No, because of my slanty eyes. No, it's a dumb joke.
You're dumb.

Speaker 2 But I think that you've skewed the audience into your favor on this one.

Speaker 2 And it was a little bit of a slanty eye joke.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I know it was. No, it was not.
So I do raise my voice first. You always do.

Speaker 2 You do,

Speaker 2 and you put it on me as if i do

Speaker 2 and andres is laughing i do a lot of things like that i do reverse you know reverse psychology i do a lot of that you're extremely manipulative i'm very manipulative and you're good yeah i'm like here's what like you know what you can do you were late today again uh and that's okay and i don't mind it because i prep for it i know it's coming but if i'm late once

Speaker 2 who throws a fit

Speaker 2 Yeah, I know me. Yeah, you're right.
You're right. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.
Yeah, I'm a bad guy. No, no, no.
No, I mean, I do things. But that, recognize that.

Speaker 2 If we had a tally board of who's late, I'd have one tally.

Speaker 2 And you'd be a tally whacker. My neck hurts so bad right now.
Why? What happened? It's stressing me out. Oh, I'm sorry.
Don't know, no stress. No stress.
That's fine.

Speaker 2 No, I'll have a stroke in front of you. That'll be great.
I'll do a full-blown stroke in front of you. It's fine.

Speaker 2 I think, in fact, that would be, if I was going to have a stroke, I would have one in front of you. Is that how you want to die? A stroke?

Speaker 2 No, but I just think, because it's just part of my family history.

Speaker 2 Who had a stroke in your family? My dad. But he died.
And dad,

Speaker 2 no, he didn't.

Speaker 2 He didn't die of cancer? No. Stroke.
But the stroke was from something. Didn't he have anything wrong inside of him?

Speaker 2 Yeah, he couldn't walk because of the stroke. But I thought he was deteriorating because of something inside.
He didn't have to. Please, please.
No, I'm not joking.

Speaker 2 Whatever you're doing right now, dude, is it really hurtful? I'm saying I didn't either. Well, why don't you listen then? Did he have something else? No, he had a stroke.

Speaker 2 So the stroke is the only thing that killed him? He was a kid. Well,

Speaker 2 there's complications after a stroke. Yeah, right.
But he didn't have anything else otherwise? No pre-existing conditions of health? Like AIDS? He had AIDS. Okay, that's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 No. My dad died from a stroke.
He died from a complicated stroke. And because of the complications of a stroke.
Because he lived through the stroke.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 my grandparents were all paralyzed from the neck down from fucking strokes. Wow.

Speaker 2 I'm going to tell you it's a fucked up story. I'm ready.
Did I ever tell you about

Speaker 2 when my dad discovered marks on my grandmother's body? No. No, I don't think so.

Speaker 2 So my grandmother, um

Speaker 2 I'm fucking sweating right now. Wait, what? So my grandmother lived in Korea and she was paralyzed from the neck down from a stroke for like 25 years.
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 And they never left, she never left the living room of this like... I imagine this old Korean house with paper walls.
We're in it. Okay.

Speaker 2 Thank you. And she would just sit there on this like kind of colorful pad up against a you know a wall.

Speaker 2 And she'd just sit there because she couldn't move. So she would sit on the floor and lean against the wall.
Yeah, but she would always be smiling. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 one day my dad discovers welts all over her body. Oh, no.
Right. He goes, hey, why grandma have welt? You know what I mean? We go, we don't know.

Speaker 2 Dude, why is she always beating here with her?

Speaker 2 Why is she bleeding? Oh, he thinks you're beating her. And we're like, what? Yeah.
We don't. What the fuck? You're right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 So like two days later, he walks in the room and my brother and I have sticks.

Speaker 2 Sticks?

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 2 You're hitting her?

Speaker 2 Why? Because she couldn't feel it. Bob! And she would just sit there and smile, right? So we would.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we would with sticks, yeah. You are awful.
I know, we're awful. I have so many stories like that that are so fucking weird.

Speaker 2 Never on the face.

Speaker 2 It shows on the face. You're right.
How can she go to work? She had to explain it, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. You can't do it on the face.
That's insane. It's insane.
You'd hit your grandma. Yeah.
But and we, I remember getting in so much trouble.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that makes a lot of sense for hitting your grandma. Are you lying?

Speaker 2 I caught you.

Speaker 2 He saw you guys doing it. Oh, yeah.
You convinced Steve. Poor Steve probably didn't want to do it.

Speaker 2 No, Steve.

Speaker 2 Steve used to go to, we'd go to a McDonald's, and even as a three, four-year-old five-year, as soon as he could speak, right, he would literally literally walk up to a fat person and go, Yep, you're bad,

Speaker 2 and just walk away.

Speaker 2 Like, he had one of those, like, he's one of those kids that, like, just didn't have no filter. Yeah,

Speaker 2 you, you know, you walk funny, and then just walk away. Like, he was a fucking asshole.

Speaker 2 And then we had to teach him not to do it. Kids do that.
Kids say things they don't know any better and they just say what they're feeling right away. Right.
There's no filter.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he, he's, my brother's been doing that all his life, though. And then we had to teach him not to do it.
Well, yeah. Just to be completely like...

Speaker 2 I told this child, I used to tell a joke about this.

Speaker 2 A kid, when we were playing basketball, I had really, I had a horrifically bad acne, and we were playing basketball, and it's even worse when I'm like in season, I was sweating.

Speaker 2 And a little black kid at West Aurora at this high school, he came up to me in the hallway when I was having a drink of water, and he was like, man, you pretty good for a white boy.

Speaker 2 And I was like, oh, thanks.

Speaker 2 And I thought he was like a sweet little kid, like a little tiny kid. I don't even know how old he had.
It'd been maybe six, seven. I have no idea.

Speaker 2 And as he's walking away, he goes, hey, white boy. And I turn and he's smiling already.
And he goes, What's all over your face?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, it like broke my soul. What was it? Pimples, Bob.

Speaker 2 Oh, really? Yeah. I had such bad acne.
He was like, what's all over your face?

Speaker 2 And then, what did you say?

Speaker 2 I said, this is part of the joke. Yeah, yeah.
I said, this is what happens when your dad sticks around.

Speaker 2 No, he, no, but it really hurt my feelings. When I was a kid, it hurt my feelings so much.
Yeah. This little confident, little tiny kid.
And I'm a teenager in high school. Yeah.

Speaker 2 What's all over your face? It hurt unbelievable. Like, oh, God, it hurts your soul.
Acne. I was acne-ridden myself.
You had it bad? Did you ever go on the stuff? No. Accutane? I did it.
I took it.

Speaker 2 Even in my early 20s, I remember like... My friends took it four times.
Really? And that stuff like killed people. Really? Accutane? Oh, my God.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 People committed suicide on it, and they got sued. It was crazy.
Yeah, I would just go to work at like, I worked at this coffee shop called The Panican in La Jolla.

Speaker 2 And I would just have fucking zits and boils all over my face. Yeah.
Because I had no fucking money. Dude, I was so stressed out.
You well. And had no soap.
I had no money. I had nothing.

Speaker 2 And you can't take care of it. Yeah, I accutane.

Speaker 2 I've never seen a doctor at that time. I didn't have a dent.
That's why all my teeth are gone because I was so poor for so long. What do you mean? All your teeth are still in your mouth.

Speaker 2 No, they're not. Smile.
No, I can't. Smile for me.
You know about my teeth. Yeah, but your teeth are fine.

Speaker 2 The teeth that you're seeing now? I know that, yeah, yeah. Are the only ones that are there?

Speaker 2 That's the remnants. That's the last one.
Have you seen back here? The back I've never seen. I'll show you.
Yeah, let me see. But don't get too close.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow, they're all gone. Yeah.
They had left town.

Speaker 2 Bye-bye. Bye.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've got, this is, you can't see, but my teeth were so bad.
All I've got from here, from the canines, all the way back, what do you call them?

Speaker 2 Like crowns and they're all, yeah, it's all fake. They're all bad, yeah.
Nothing back here is real. In fact, one time my dentist said to me,

Speaker 2 he goes, look, dude, this is getting bad. Like, he's, I have to keep fixing stuff because you just have bad teeth.
And I was like, well, I don't even eat sugar. I'm not like a dessert guy.

Speaker 2 I don't do any of that. He goes, nothing to do with that.
That's a lie. It's a rumor.
It's hereditary. He's like, you either have bad teeth or you don't.
Some people have better teeth.

Speaker 2 Some people never get cavities. Yeah.
He goes, just get veneers.

Speaker 2 And i said i don't know what i don't know what that is i don't know anything about him he showed me pictures of veneers like if they're done right they're good yeah but i scary because if you get the bad ones

Speaker 2 if you get the bad ones you look like matt dylan from uh

Speaker 2 uh uh from what is it called uh what's the uh cameron diaz movie uh something about mary yeah i mean if you get bad veneers

Speaker 2 you end up having these teeth the matt dylan and this is all this i always think of this whenever when like i always think about this movie whenever i think about veneers Yeah, I love that movie.

Speaker 2 So good. I love that movie.
You know, the cum was real in her hair? Ben Stiller was like, no, he didn't want to do it unless it was real. That's not true.
Yes, it is. He's a method guy.

Speaker 2 He goes, I don't, I won't do it. I'll tell you what I did to him.
What?

Speaker 2 So he liked this open micer. Yeah, like had a crush on her.
At the comedy store. Yeah.
But I can't say her name, but

Speaker 2 he would come just to see her. Wow.
And then he kind of knew that I was like a regular or whatever.

Speaker 2 And then,

Speaker 2 so I don't know why I did this, but one day, you know, I mean, I wanted to wrestle him.

Speaker 2 You wanted to wrestle Matt Daniel Dylan? Yeah, yeah. Why? I don't understand.
You were just in one of your moods? Yeah, you know how I do it. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So I kind of kind of got he's like, get off me, man. He was just kind of laughing.
Yeah. But then, like, he started walking, and I clung onto his legs.
Oh, you got on the ground?

Speaker 2 No, he was like, I was on his legs like this. And he's trying to walk, right?

Speaker 2 He was get off me. And then he snapped.
Oh, yeah? He's get off me!

Speaker 2 And I never saw him again.

Speaker 2 I never saw him there again. You know what I mean? There's always those like little weird things

Speaker 2 in your mind, like, why did I do that? Yeah, why would you do that? Why did I make that choice? It's a really bad idea. Yeah, it was a bad idea.
It's a bold leap, but you have to try, right?

Speaker 2 We all have to try. We all take shots.
Yeah. See,

Speaker 2 you're not old enough.

Speaker 2 You're about to experience these things in your 20s.

Speaker 2 You're about to experience nightmarish social situations. Yeah, get ready.

Speaker 2 Where you go, why did I do that? You know what I mean? Forget combination,

Speaker 2 the way you said that, right? I mean, it's going to get

Speaker 2 way worse. When you start going to bars and meeting guys and you start going out in the workforce, you know?

Speaker 2 People are going to be so awkward to you, too, especially now that you're a superstar on the internet.

Speaker 2 I want to show you a little gift that was given to me, some information that I think you'll really enjoy. Honestly, this is really positive stuff.

Speaker 2 So let's take a look at this little news report that just came out.

Speaker 4 Moving on to a different story now, the average head size of Koreans has been supposedly growing and growing over the past four decades.

Speaker 4 A group of researchers from a renowned local university claims to have evidence to prove this phenomenon is real. Kim Dami sheds light on how and why this might be happening.

Speaker 2 It's getting bigger.

Speaker 5 Thanks to a better quality of life and proper nutrition, Koreans are getting taller and bigger, and so is their head size.

Speaker 5 Researchers at Korea University College of Medicine ran magnetic resonance imaging scans on 115 Koreans born in the 1930s and 1970s and reconstructed their craniums into three-dimensional images.

Speaker 2 So you guys are so advanced. You've sped up to four decades, what took us two centuries.

Speaker 2 6%.

Speaker 2 That's incredible.

Speaker 2 Are you doing this? Honestly. What?

Speaker 2 No, listen. In four decades.
Are you doing this?

Speaker 2 Are you calling me a mongoloid? No, I'm just saying this is how it feels. This is not a slam or

Speaker 2 positive. It's positive.
Koreans, obviously, are more advanced than us. Their heads are growing at a beautiful rate.
The bigger the head, the better.

Speaker 2 So your head, they said, in the rest of this, I can't play the whole clip.

Speaker 2 It's not that entertaining, but they said your head right now, as a Korean man, will grow before your death two to three times the size of an average Western American.

Speaker 2 I just wish that there were other things that grew as well. Like your nose or your ears? Dick.

Speaker 2 You had that shot and it stopped. No, what I'm saying is that why does it have to be the head? Oh, why does that have to be?

Speaker 2 Why can't everything grow proportionally to everything else? Well, it sometimes does. For some people.
Yeah, but in this situation, it seems like the head is growing

Speaker 2 out of control. Yeah, it's the only thing that's growing.
It's getting out of control. Well, because, look, I mean.

Speaker 2 What? We're big-headed people? You're a little too... And you are.
But why is that even a slam? That's not even a slam. No, it's not a slam.
I just wanted to show you this article.

Speaker 2 But if you were like, you know, at a bar and you walked up to you big-headed lug, that would like, people would be like, would you call me?

Speaker 2 It just makes me laugh to think if one day you do have kids and 40 years from now, if they get another 6% increase, how big your child's head would be.

Speaker 2 I mean, it would be very, very, very large. You already have a large dome.
Can you?

Speaker 2 Wait, wait. What you're saying to me now is

Speaker 2 that if you saw me, we didn't know each other. Yeah.
And we were at, let's say,

Speaker 2 Wings, some sort of Wing place. Buffalo Wild Wings.

Speaker 2 Perfect beat up. Right, right.
Yeah. I'm at a table.
I'm having a beer watching. Right, right.
And, you know, and let's go. Let's go.
Tackle him. Hey, man, keep it down.

Speaker 2 Jesus Christ, your head is big. That's what you would think.

Speaker 2 Is that what you would think?

Speaker 2 No, honestly. No, I'd go, hey, man, what's up? And

Speaker 2 I'd turn to my friend and I go, look at this big-headed career fucking fucking. I know, but no, but honestly, is that going to be something that you would think about?

Speaker 2 Sitting down, your head doesn't look big, but standing up, it does. Oh,

Speaker 2 so what you're saying is that I'm like a fucking wobbly headed. You're a bobble-head.
I'm a bobble-headed guy. You're like a big head.
I have a very big head.

Speaker 2 You don't have a very big head, but it's big. It's big.
It's big proportion to your body.

Speaker 2 Jules is tiny. She has a small because she's a tiny girl.
Yeah, yeah. Tiny body.

Speaker 2 I mean, is Tito's head big?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay. You be mad at her now? I'm a little mad.
All right. You didn't think about it yet.
Okay. Oh, man.
You should.

Speaker 2 I mean, thank you for playing, but also you're in trouble. Thank you for playing, but you're also in trouble.
So,

Speaker 2 you know, I'm so glad that we did this voyage together. Oh, this is, you were done with the voyage? Yeah, this is the end.

Speaker 2 But don't you think you need to carry the voyage? No, no, I think I realized that, you know, because, you know, we talked about this guy

Speaker 2 on Instagram, and I realized that I don't give a fuck now. I'm just going to be myself.
That's what I like. Yeah, because, you know, I don't give a fuck.
Well, you have to be you.

Speaker 2 It doesn't even matter. We have have to be us.
It's going to be me, and I'm just going to do it. Look at me.
Yeah. I love you.
I hate you.

Speaker 2 I hate you.

Speaker 2 That's how I'm trying to be myself. Honestly.
Yeah. Thank you for being a bad friend.