Bad Friends Beef! Featuring Erik Griffin

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You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting. You two are something.
We're bad friends. Eric lost weight, but he's got, he's still, you know, he's got like nice titties.

Like droopy titties.

You know what I mean?

Before they were like fat,

but now they're like,

It's good to see you too,

Bobby.

Hi.

It's formed.

What am I doing here?

You're not going to say,

you're not going to say hi

to our guest?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're just like,

No, no, no.

I just have to comment

on the way you look.

You just had to open up

and shit talk.

You look skinny,

but also got little titties.

Listen,

I'm not done yet, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just because you lose 25 pounds.
Oh, you lost 25 pounds? I think you look good. Look it.
It's crooked just like his dick. You don't know what my dick looks like.
Guys. I make assumptions.
I make assumptions. Yeah, that's your problem.
Your assumptions. You make assumptions too.
No, no, no. You make silly assumptions.
So when somebody doesn't text you back ever, that's you back here's the only time you text me back it's a common problem when I call you and I bother you enough that you'll finally text me back yeah but it's always business it's never like I hate it when you're like how you doing you don't like it when I say hello to you? No, I said hello. You know friendship kind of things? Like just trying to see your well-being? He don't like that kind of shit.
I know. It has to be about making money.
Then he'll get back to you. I'm Korean! I'm Korean! Oh, now you Korean.
Yeah, I'm Korean. That's the Korean way.
Now you Korean. You haven't been Korean since we met.
Yes, I've been Korean the whole time. I have Korean tendencies.
You know? Korean tendencies. So let's hash out some bad friend's beef.
All right, right. You two, you haven't called, you haven't texted.
I know. You haven't responded to Griff.
He's the worst. And he wants to know why.
Okay, so I'm going to let you know that... Go.
Fuck, man. Creature of the night.
I'll tell you that right now. In my nightmares, I see that by the pond.
Let me tell you, I got Griff a job. You did? But he didn't take it.
What was the job? You want to talk about it? First of all... Let me know.
Let's resolve ours first, and then we'll go to that. Well, ours is funny.
By you saying that, right, I get it. He's that type of guy.
Oh, my God. You see what I'm saying? You hand him a plate of gold, right? And he pushes it away.
I took the plate of gold. I did that job.
The job that he offered? No, no, no. The one that...
Your job. No, I'm talking about his job.
Oh, this is bullshit why I didn't do this. Yeah, gold is bullshit.
No, no, no, no. They wanted me to shave.
Write that down, gold is bullshit. You didn't do it.
They would have made you shave too. Here's why.
I didn't do it, not because of the shave thing. They didn't even offer that part to me.
He literally was like, hey, we need a boss figure. Did I get a job? Really? Yeah, did you get me a job for that? Do you want to play this game? Let's play the game of life.
Okay, let's do it. I like the game of life.
First of all, play the game of life. You sold a show, and I moved three different times in the podcast, so you could sell a show, and you could have some time off, and you can get stuff done.
So, yeah, you have three jobs. You did a cooking show downtown two days ago.
You're doing another one in a week. You just sold your show to ABC and Fox and CBS and

CW and Lifetime, Discovery,

History. I don't know who else bought the show,

but you sold it to everybody up the river.

There's a little bit of a bidding war.

Yeah, there is. So don't have to rub

that in my face. So no, I'm not getting you a job

because you've gotten plenty of jobs.

I'm just saying that I want the job

too. What was the job? There's no monkeys in

this one is what you're saying? See, that's what I'm

talking about. And that's where our fiction is.

Because I did a show

I don't know. I'm just saying that I want the job, too.
What was the job? There's no monkeys in this one, is what you're saying?

See, and that's what I'm talking about.

And that's where our fiction is.

Because I did a show 10 years ago.

Wait, there's no monkeys?

There was a monkey in it, all right?

Now, let's resolve this, right? So then now I'm on.

Now, this is what irritated me.

All right, go ahead.

So now I'm playing Warzone with some of the guys, right?

And they're on Twitch.

And one of the guys, I'll just say his name, Ramey. Your boy? My boy.
Yeah. He goes, hey, Bob.
Do you have a problem with Aaron? Is that how he talks? Yeah, that's just the way he sounds to me. I go, I don't have a problem with him.
I love him. He goes, well, some of the fans are saying that he's complaining that their friendship is over.
First of all, that's not true.

I know, but that's what the fucking people said on the fucking comment session.

By the way, I'm not going to say anything more.

I'm going to let you finish because I'm going to need the floor.

All right.

So go ahead.

All right.

Fine.

He's going to filibuster.

Yeah.

Right.

I just want to let you know, when he did this, I realized that all the weight lost from his body, but not his knuckles. He's got hairy, ugly fucking knuckles.
Look at the hair bushed up on his wrist. You can't just make fun of him the whole time.
You have to explain your side of the story because he's going to get his side. I'm just letting you know, this is really irritating me right now.
His knuckles are irritating me? You look like a fat tennis playing panda right now. That's what you look like.
All right. And a gay one, too.
Enough. Enough.
It looks like Bobby goes home and he takes his hair off like this. That's funny.
What a day I've had. You're the one that looks like Mr.
Potato Head. Talk about putting things on.
You know what I mean? You look like Mr. Potato Head.
Go on with your bullshit story. Go on.
So don't fucking tell him about detachments. Nah, nah, nah.
All right. There we go.
I'm listening. Okay, so here we go.
So then I got irritated because all these people, he's obviously, then I asked, I go, and Raimi goes, he's complaining about, on his Twitch, about your relationship. And I'm like, fuck that.
Did you listen to the audio? I don't listen to audio. I listen to it.
I listen to hearsay. I listen to it.
Yeah, he does. You do? Yeah, I listen to it.
Okay. It wasn't really complaining.
What was it? No, but that's his thing. That's his narrative.
It was saying Bobby doesn't want to play with me, obviously, because I've tried to reach out and play. Because he's so competitive.
Me? He's doing bets. He's like, watch, guys.

I'm going to put a bet online.

It's for the fans.

It's for the fans' interaction.

And then you rub it in my face.

I hate it.

Can I say what it is?

I figured this all out.

I'm going to squash this right now.

Because we're all good friends.

I know exactly what this is.

Don't let him have his point of view.

No, I know what this is.

No, I'm going to have my point of view.

He is.

Did you introduce yourself to my niece, by the way? This is your niece? Yes. It's a niece.
Hey, listen. Blink at me if you're okay.
That's funny. Hey.
Go ahead. Here's the problem.
I figured it out. You don't like it that he's a good player.
He's not a good player. You said he gets more kills than you? The pressure.

You said he got more kills than you.

Listen.

Yeah.

Who gets more kills?

I am so much better at that game than you.

I've gotten so much better.

But that's what this is.

Of course it is. Bobby hates that.

You don't like that he's good.

You love that I was bad.

You wanted to play with me again and again because I'm so bad.

And when you're on Twitch, he has to be the funniest guy on the Twitch, too.

I know.

I saw.

He's got to be the one.

He's got to have the snappy jokes. And if you say anything, he's like, I don't like this.
Because no one's laughing at me now. Is part of this true, Bob? No, it's not.
None of that is true. And I have my own defense.
Thank you. Well, let him have his floor now.
Go ahead. Okay, here's the thing.
That is not true. Here's the problem right now.
I send all the fans to this guy that Bobby won with. So now we're friends with him.
Right. All right.
So we're playing all the time, him and I and his brother. And then all of a sudden it just stops.
Okay. Then the fans keep asking, where's Bobby? Why isn't Bobby playing? And I go, I don't know.
And then I look, you're still playing with them every day. I look on his Twitch and his YouTube.
It's you and Steve are playing. But I was told Steve doesn't want to stream, but he can stream with him.
What would you feel like if you're told, oh, no, we don't want to do this, and then you see him doing it with a stranger? A motherfucker you don't even know. A motherfucker you don't even fucking know.
You're playing with every single day. And then check this out.

I know him.

And then check this out.

Then we're playing.

I don't know his last name, but I know him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where does he live?

Andrew, Andrew.

And we're playing, right?

Yeah.

In the middle of, I'm playing with that kid too.

Yeah.

And they go, oh, we just got invites from Bobby.

I'm looking at my thing.

Let me see if I got an invite.

No.

So all I'm saying is this.

If you don't want to play with me, just be a fucking man and be like. Yeah, I don't want to play with you.
That's all you have to say. I don't want to play with you.
I wish you would have just done that. I'm doing it now.
I wish you would have just done that. But see, now you...
But I'll play tonight. No, no, no.
You want to play tonight? Fuck you. All right, fuck you.
I love you. That's all I've needed.
I love you, though. Bobby, let me tell you this.
Yeah. I never had a problem.
It's like you don't want to do everything with every friend. Like, I don't drink alcohol, right? Right.
So this motherfucker don't want to hang out at me at a bar, you know? We'll hang out outside of a bar. Yeah.
So it's like, so for you, you might be like, well, I don't want to play with him because of whatever your reasons. I don't have a problem with it.
But what I can't stand is the Twitch community, they know. Because they're like, well, Bobby's playing with everybody else.
Yeah. You know and I just don't get that.
And then I try. I've reached out to Steve a thousand times.
And this motherfucker won't get back to me over some nonsense. So I'm like, what's up with you guys? It's not me, though.
Well, that's not you. He certainly didn't help the situation.
No, it's hearsay and conjecture. Exactly's it's hearsay and conjecture exactly okay

it's hearsay

and conjecture

and I tried I try I reach out to try to figure this shit out yeah there's nothing to figure out if you didn't you and I there's nothing to figure out yeah well there is I'm gonna tell you why okay alright know this here we go know this you know what I kinda like a body. He's turning into that dictator behind him.

Know this for a fact, my friend.

Tell me.

All right?

It's that if I really had a problem with you, I will let you know.

I don't know if that's true. Yeah, that's true.

Okay?

I've had problems with you in the past.

Yes.

And I've given her...

I don't have problems.

But here's the thing.

And I talk to my therapist.

I'm a loner. And I don't like communicating.
It's just who I am because of my trauma in the past. I'm not using it in dispute.
Here we go. Oh, here we go.
What? My dad used to play golf on my body. Let me count.
My dad used to play golf on my body. Let me count down to the molestation reference.
You know what I mean? Koreans are good golfers. They're very good.
Very good golfers. Are they? They don't fix divots,

but they're good golfers.

Yeah, we don't.

Wait.

So let's be real here.

What's a divot?

The thing on the ground?

Yes.

Yeah, that's your job.

That's what?

Your job.

My job is to fix it. If you have a problem with the divots,

you push it down with your little hand.

No, no, no.

After you hit the ball,

you fix the divot.

You fix your mistake.

No.

This is just like it.

You don't have a problem. See, this makes sense.
This makes sense. The Koreans leave messes for other people to clean up.
Just like you. We don't have a problem with it.
Just like you. We like divots.
It's just like going to... Put your fucking hand on the divot.
We enjoy them. That's the way we make them.
We like the little fucking grass coming up like that. No.
No, no, no. You know what? It's just like a...
Laziness. It's just like a Korean barbecue restaurant.
They want you to do everything. Yeah, you cook.

You cook.

Fuck you.

That's my culture.

They bring the food.

That's my culture.

Hey, here.

Cook the shit yourself.

We're just going to let you fucking experience the experience, my friend.

So we want you to cook it.

You cook.

You cook.

They do that so we can't complain.

That's exactly right.

What can you say?

I did it.

I paid for it.

Yeah.

All right.

So listen.

I don't have a problem with you.

Okay, good.

All right.

And I called you last night. Did I not? Yeah, only because you knew I was coming here today You didn't want this shit To be awkward What? People were like You didn't want this shit To be awkward I know you dude No you know why I called you today Yeah last night Why? I talked to my therapist Okay Alright And she's like What's the problem? I go Is this step seven? Is that? No this is not That's fucking hilarious You're shaming You're sh my recovery.
Ah, here we go. Because I have 10 months of sobriety and no one said congratulations.
Can you hand me the little violin, please? No one said congratulations. 10 months of sobriety.
Well, you know why? Because 10 months is not enough. We need like two years before we can be like.
A year. A year is a, 10 months.
All right, you're right. Yeah, 10 months is bullshit.
Yeah. I can't say nine months and three days.
Don't you get a chip at a year? We've been here before. Yeah.
You know what I mean? Okay. Yeah.
I relapse. I relapse.
I have problems. No, no, no.
No. You're getting – you're fine.
All right. I don't have a problem with you.
All right. Okay.
Good. Bobby – So let's just throw that out there.
But – Wait, wait. Can you at least understand if we're playing all the time and then it just stops and then all these people keep asking, you know, and then they like us together.
Like, you know, they keep like, oh, I love it when you and Steve and Bobby and it's out cuffs and then it just stops. Yeah.
And then I'm like, hey, what's going on? Nobody will say anything to me. The fuck is Steve don't even respond to me anymore.
And then like you're playing every day with these strangers. So what am I supposed to think? What am I supposed to think? Think this.
Okay. My jug-headed friend.
Why does it always have to be some kind of comment? I don't know why. I'm defensive.
That's why. Okay.
Okay. You're very handsome for your type.
Bobby. Oh wow.
For your type you're very handsome. As shitty as you are to me? Yeah.
You know I'm there for you whenever. I know.
Okay. I mean, your type.
You, Reverend Al Jackson. I mean, he's the better looking out of the types.
Wait a minute. Yeah.
Are you saying... You know what? By the way, don't think you're getting off Scott Free with this bullshit right here.
Yeah, yeah. You've got problems too.
Yeah. You know what this is like? By the way, You know what I realized? You remember the Godfather? You remember the Godfather? Yeah.
So Don Corleone has the meeting with all the Dons. Yeah.
And he's in the car and Sonny's like, well, what do you want to do? And Corleone says, it wasn't until now that I knew who our true enemy is. It was Tattalia.
Yeah. You Tattalia.
No, I'm not. You're Tattalia.
I'm Santino Corleone. That's my name.
I'm Sonny. No, no, no.
I died at a tollway. You're either Tattaglia or Fredo.
No, you're Fredo. You're Fredo.
I'm Fredo. You're Fredo.
You're Fredo. You're Fredo.
You're going to kick me out of the boat and shoot me in the back of the head? Yes. Steve is Sonny.
Steve's Sonny. He's a fucking hothead.
I'm Sonny. I'm Sonny.
No. I'm not Tattaglia.
Why? You're Tattaglia. Why? Because you're a betrayer.
You're like a godfather through 3 you're the guy with the glasses you know our ships must sail in the same direction that's you yeah because I'm setting you up to get killed by the other boat that's right I'm setting you both up I'm setting you both up to drown baby oh yeah yeah yeah you're both going down this is why the whole podcast happened because of this guy right here you put us us against each other. I didn't put...
Oh, yeah. I didn't do that.
Get that out. Yeah.
Get that out. This guy betrayed our trust.
Yeah. He became...
You and I were supposed to do one. We were good.
We were supposed to do one. And then this guy comes in to tell you, right? Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.
Oh, really? Why didn't that happen, guys? I love it. Why didn't it happen? What? Tell us.
Why didn't you guys do a show? Because you have an have an aggressiveness about me time out that show was supposed to happen four years ago wait wait wait the same one that he also said he was gonna do with you four years ago that's another issue too by the way Bobby's the kind of guy he took it's like big brother he's got alliances with like everybody in the house yeah you just don't want to get kicked off the island I'm the middle man you're the little man no I'm the middle man you the middle man. You're the little man.
I'm a little man as well. You're the little man.
I'm a little man as well, all right? You're the little... In high school, I was friends with the jocks, the goths, the nerds, right? The Heshers, right? The what? The Heshers.
The who? The guys with the long hair, the heavy meddler guys. Heshers? Heshers? I've never heard of Hesher before.
I thought that was like a drug reference or something. Right? I was friends with the faculty.
That's a real thing too. And why were you friends with everybody? Because I play, I'm in the middle, dude.
You play the game. I play the game of life.
Yeah, you play the game. No.
I'm a life player. No, you play the game to make sure that you're safe.
You protect me. I'm a winner.
You protect me. I'm a winner.
I'm a survivor and a winner. No.
Yeah. I won.
And a coward. You know what you are? And a coward? Yeah.
How am I a coward? That's a cowardly. How am I a coward? Because you could have just said, hey, you know, I think you're too competitive.
I don't want to play with you. I prefer to play with these other kids.
No, no. You could have said that, but you let me go on and on and on.
It's maliciousness. Feeling this.
It's maliciousness on your part. Me? Yeah.
Yeah. How am I malicious? What you do is you rub it in people's faces.
Oh. By the way, by the way, we used to play FIFA all the time, right? Yeah.
Let me tell you something about Bobby. He's a sore loser, but he's a worse winner.
Why? Okay? He used to, he would beat, if he beat me, he would send pictures of the players of the other team. Send like 10, 15 pictures.
Hey, this is who beat you. This is the guy.
So don't get me started right now, all right? Don't act like you're like an angel on the other. Yes, you did.
I did. But you know why he stopped? I did do it.
You know why he stopped doing that? And I got to find this picture because he didn't know how to work Photoshop, and I did. So there was this picture of a player with a baby.
I can tell you which one it was. And I put his face on the baby.
It was Torres. Yes! Yeah, from Liverpool.
From Liverpool. When he played for Liverpool.
So we used to play. Fernando Torres, and there was a photo where he was holding a baby, but then he put my face on the baby.
Perfect. And that almost ended our relationship.
Because I don't know how to use, I didn't know how to use Photoshop. How did he do that? Yeah, but Bobby would pay some kid $1,500 to do it.
You don't know how to use Photoshop now, Bob.

Yes, I do.

No, you don't.

I don't.

I don't.

But don't call me out, all right?

You don't.

You don't have a computer.

Go to him again.

No, see?

Go to him again.

The point is...

You broke up the band.

No, dude.

Neither of you were...

You know what?

Neither of you got your instruments together.

That was the problem.

You guys wanted to make a band, and you never got the instruments.

Okay, Yoko. You know what I mean? Okay.
Let me tell you something. That bitch is still alive, making money.
And everybody else is dead. So who won? Huh? High five, Rude.
Yeah. So yeah, so Eric and I were supposed to do a podcast.
We talked about it for many years. Many, many years.
Well, let's not go into this, because then something else happened. Yeah.
Tell me what happened.

The next thing you know, he's got this podcast with his girlfriend.

And then he always has a good excuse.

I needed to do this to save my relationship.

You know what I mean?

And then that goes on, right?

And then now this one comes.

You know, Bobby called me one time, and it was so hilarious.

He just got out of rehab, and he's pouring it on. And he's like, you know, the thing with my father.

and you know and he's going on

and he's like

Thank you. And it was like so hilarious.
He just got out of rehab. And he's like, and he's pouring it on.
He's like, you know, the thing with my father. And, you know, and he's going on.
He's like, you know, and I go, Bobby, I go, Bobby, shut the fuck up. You're just trying to make me feel bad because you're going to do that fucking podcast with Andrew, right? You know? He tries to manipulate.
Did you say yes? Both of y'all are manipulative. Wow.
I'm seeing it now for the first time. You guys deserve each other.
You call it manipulation. I call it strategy, my friend.
I'm being strategic about life. I'm being strategic about life.
And at the end of the day, you know my heart. Do I? Yeah, you do.
All right. You do my heart.
You know my heart better than you know his heart. That's true.
Because he actually calls me. Just out of the blue.
Not about business. Hey, Eric, how you doing? Okay.
Griff, how's life?

How's it hanging? Like when I gave you that seat on that plane that one time.

You mean 15 years ago?

And you gave it to me.

You gave me the seat.

What?

Where?

Where were you going?

So we were in Abu Dhabi.

Yeah, we were coming home.

Let me tell you, because he doesn't tell the story right.

All right?

We're coming home.

Yeah. It's a 15-hour flight.
All right? Bobby, he's trying to big ball. So he goes and pays for a first-class seat, okay? And then in the coach, he's going like that.
Bye. Bye, everybody.
Credit card bounces. Credit card's done.
So he has to come back. But he don't want to sit in this seat that he was sitting in.
Right? So I said, I'll switch seats with you. Why? Why'd you do that? Because he's a nutcase.
Yeah. And it's better to make him comfortable for the entire plane.
Yep. You know? You understand what I'm saying? He gave you his seat.
Yeah. I know.
And what was your response? Oh, he was supposed to get me a manager. That happened 17 years later.
17 years later I was with CAA. I got you an agent.
You didn't do shit! I got me the fucking agent. I'm the one that set it up, right? Yeah, at that point it was easy.
It doesn't matter though. Did though.
Did I not do it? When I say something, I come through. Even if it's two decades later, yeah, he did.
Two decades later, I will come through. That's good, though.
So please stop holding on to the whole seat thing, okay? All right. I try to tell people, too.
I say... What the first time we met? I try to tell people, Bobby.
What the first time we met? I know. When we met at the comedy store.
No, we... You mean the first time that you actually acknowledged that I existed and I was a comedian? When you first met me at that When you were doing that Ahmed Ahmed thing in fucking Orange County Oh Yeah, you've been a nightmare since I first met you Now you remind me of this Yeah, yeah I don't think you were around Was he around? No You weren't even around Yeah, but dude, this guy Ahmed could get a show Like, anywhere Yeah, he used to sell out stuff, right? No, no, no.
He would get a show and get the people to pay. We were paying people $1,000 to do like 20 minutes of comedy in Orange County.
How? He was able to push tickets. I don't know.
The restaurant told us that they were making money off the show because people would come on a Wednesday night. Anyways, this guy shows up.

Ahmed's not even there.

Instantly, as soon as he gets there, he doesn't know where to park his car.

I don't like the show.

He's getting on.

I had to call him and go, I'm going to kill this little motherfucker.

I swear to God, I'm going to kill him.

I had to go get his car, drive his car around. He'd be behind a bush, I think, at one point.

Welcome to every day on this show. I'm the bad guy.
He called me. You know what he said last time? I'm the bad guy.
You know what he said last time? You're not the bad guy. He's just impossible to work with.
Ah, there's no parking. I go, there's a spot right on the street.
I don't park on the street. He doesn't park that piece of shit Prius on the street.
That piece of shit that's been hit a thousand times. Rudy knows.
It's insane. So he goes, I'm going to park back there or wherever.
I go, we can't park back there right now. He spends more money on skins in Call of Duty than to fix this fucking car.
I know. He's wearing a $9,000 shirt and his car's worth $4,000.
No, but we're fine. All right, I'm sweating now.
But it's love. Yes.
All love. It's pure love.
I wish you just would have been more direct to me. All right, I'm sorry.
I didn't know. You never told me the reasons why.
I'm sorry. You weren't doing that thing, and I didn't know me bringing it up was a problem because you didn't tell me shit.
Yeah, I'm sorry. All right? That's all there.
This is wonderful. Did you quit smoking? No, I didn't.
Do you want to quit? And I'm going to say this. Do you want to quit?

I've cut down to four a day.

Four cigarettes a day?

Yes.

Or packs.

Yeah.

Four cigarettes a day.

Is this true, Rude?

I don't smoke that much.

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

Don't look at him before you say it.

I know you look at her when I ask her questions.

You think that I have an ally in the house?

She's an ally. This one right here is a rat.

This one right here, everything, I had to hide from her.

Rudy, but is he smoking more than four a day? No. When they go to bed, you're not smoking more? No.
Okay. But I don't understand.
You got off the vape because you said the vape was bad for you, and then you went to the thing that's even worse. Yeah, why did you switch back? It's like, I can't even.
No, you have to. I don't even want to even address it, but I will.
Yeah, please. Please.
And I want to get real for a second. Okay a second okay this is all fun and games okay you're pointing fingers and you're talking about my frailties and my character defects no don't do that don't do that friend okay your character defects yes okay and um i have a lot yeah yeah yeah i'm a broken man we all have flaws can you do me a favor you have a lot at this point right now can you put on the screen all of his failures we'll scroll it right here like one of those albums for 1995 please sign up today universal music studios presents bobby lee's failures and it's just him i'm a smoker Sorry, go.
And I don't want to reiterate and go back in the past because I'm over it. But, you know, last year I had some problems.
I got sober again. And, you know, I was smoking weed and I quit.
And I was just like, I don't want to go back to vaping because it was hurting my neck. Every time I smoke a vape, it hurts my neck.
My neck gets really stiff. I don't know.
There's just something about it that fucks me up. It's probably because it's like a sausage.
So when you smoke a sausage. You think my neck is like a sausage? Well, it swells up.
Yeah, like a mesquite sausage. Yeah, it goes like that.
You know what I mean? It just gets a little swollen. Like some longanisa, you know, if you're a Filipino out there.
Ooh, I love lunganisa. Yeah.
Go ahead. Hey, man, fuck you.
Okay? I have a Korean neck. What is a Korean neck? It's sausage-like.
Aren't they usually like skinny, tiny people? They're usually like in great shape. There's two types.
There's a skinny, tiny, and there's a sausage one. And the other one.
And the sausage one. Okay? Okay.
So fuck you. Like a safe fell on him and.

Oh.

Like a piano.

Like a piano. Like a beat.

Yeah.

And it's like, here we go.

All right.

First of all, I'm much older than both of you, by the way.

No, you're not.

How old are you?

I'm 48.

You're the same age.

You're the same age.

That's my bad.

Anywho.

So the vaping was hurting my neck.

And so I, you know, when I went to that fucking place in Arizona to get my head right. It was good though, right? It worked.
And I just was smoking because there was nothing else to do. And now it's affecting my health.
Now, last week when I said, you know, can you people just comment and say quit smoking? We did. There was a lot of comments.
I got too much. Yeah.
It was too much.

I asked all the fans

to comment to quit smoking.

Stop, stop.

Every fucking...

No, no, keep that up.

Yeah, keep that going.

See, listen to Griff.

Keep that up.

No, dude, that's bad.

Stop it.

No, we need you to quit.

I don't like it.

Are you still doing the yoga?

Yeah, I'm doing yoga.

Oh, that's dope.

Okay.

Am I not doing yoga?

Once in a while.

But once in a while.

Once a week.

Twice.

Twice a week.

But he's doing like...

Thank you.

He's doing different positions

like, you know,

rolling sleeve. Yeah.
No. Am I doing it real? Yeah.
Thank you, Jules. He's doing sitting smoking.
No, not doing sitting smoking. Eating video gaming.
Yoga. Look.
Andrew's like this. And leg up.
And neck to the side. Neck to the side.
And eat. And eat.
Alright, so that's why I'm smoking. So you and I are good? Yes.
I didn't think we weren't good. You two are good? We're good.
Are you two good? No. I mean, honestly, it's a...
We need to keep this. We need to keep this.
It's a week-to-week thing. But he says that, but it's detrimental to my health, I'm not going to lie.
I have found that I've gotten more palpitations lately. Tell me, are you being completely honest? Yeah, my stress level...
Before you go into whatever you're doing right now, let's just get this out of the way. My stress level because of you has gone through the roof.
Why? Because... No, no, no.
Can I say something? It's not just because of him. It's like living in COVID and on top of that.
But I want to say. Yeah, but it's expounded.
What he's saying, it's expounded. All right.
So last week. Because this is part of what's going on.
We changed the day. We changed the day.
Yeah. And because he had to on a, because we usually shoot on Fridays.
Right. Today's a Friday.
Yeah. We were supposed to do Thursdays.
He changed the day because he had to go to the country club. He had to go to the country club so that he can interview to get into the country club.
So we switched the day. Yesterday.
Well, if he was just regular white, it wouldn't have been a problem. Yes, because I'm off white.
I'm different. They make redheads come in.
I had 15 fucking things I had to do. So I had to move So I had to move it So my excuses for moving The day is more valid Than his So that's what causes him stress Because he knows deep down inside That he's trying to live An aristocratic white life Here's the fact and you know what the fact is He's got his big valley house Bobby.
Bobby, first of all, this guy living in the hills. This guy's a hill guy.
I live in the hills. I live in the bottom of the hill.
You live on the hill. On the bottom.
You live on the hill. If there was a fucking flood on top of the mountain, right, I would be drowned with the rest of the people.
Okay. Well, I want to tell you something.
But on the hill. I would die on the hill, but on the lower part of the hill.
All right, well, here's what I want to tell you. We decided to help you quit smoking.
We want to get a therapist in here, a hypnotherapist to speak to you. Oh, shit.
And he's there. He's right there.
All right. What's his name? This is Jason.
Hey, Jason. Can you hear us? I certainly can.
Look at that. There's Jason right there.
He looks hypnotherapy like. He looks hypnotherapy.
Yeah. Jason, you can only see Bob, unfortunately, because of the technology technology but this is for me anyway so this is for you because we need you to get some because we want you to quit i love hypnotherapy all right well let's let why don't you speak to jason let's see what you can do hello no you're right there oh sorry my bad hi bobby jason hello howdy how's it going howdy to you i'm fine thank you stop talking like that when I'm talking to professionals, this is how I talk.
No, talk like a human. You sound like a robot.
Yeah, like a weird Korean robot all of a sudden. Don't be intimidated.
I'll be more myself. Thank you.
What's up, dude? Not Urban Bobby. What's up? Oh, not Urban Bobby.
All right, Bobby, focus because he's trying to help you. I know.
I want to help. He's going to help you quit smoking.
I need the help. I know.

Okay.

Yeah.

So here's the important question.

I watched the last episode, right?

Uh-huh.

And you said, I need to quit.

Yes.

And then later you said, I want to quit.

Yes.

And then at the very end you said, I, okay, I'll try to quit.

Right.

Do you really want to quit, Bobby?

That's a very, very good question question. I want to answer this.
No. No.
Why not? But I'm beginning to feel things in my body that get shortness of breath because of the age and because I have high blood pressure in my family that my fear is that I'm going to either stroke out or my lungs are going to be blasted open or something's going to happen. So not in the next year, but in the near future, I feel like there's going to be real complications with my health.
And so with those – I mean you can already see some of them right now, right, Jay? Like his skin and his teeth and those kind of things are very obvious, right? You have to zoom in for me. That's why I'm yellow.
It has nothing to do with the nicotine. I thought that was the smoke.
No, no, no. I'm a yellow guy.
Sort of an odd yellow. Yeah, it's like a glow yellow.
Yeah, because I'm aristocratic. I'm an aristocratic.
Focus, let him help you. So what are the upsides, right? So you put aside the addiction.
And how could you feel? How would you want to feel if you stopped? I want to feel, well, just generally, I want to feel healthy. I want to feel like I can do more during the day in terms of I want my mouth.
Breath, better breath. My breath is fine.
No. My breath is fine.
I can help with better breathing too, but keep going. I want to breathe better, and I also want to be able to go longer on the Peloton,

not struggle so much when I'm doing yoga.

And I just want to be there for my family and, you know.

And your friends.

And your friends.

Jason, this is another thing for us.

We want friendship to be a big thing. He didn't even think to add that for my family, and that's it.

Yeah, for us as well.

If I died, I doubt that you guys would even come to my funeral.

No, we would carpool.

We would carpool. All right, so let's just throw that my funeral.
No, we would carpool. We would carpool.

All right.

So let's just throw that out there.

Yeah, we'd show up.

We would Uber pool.

And if we didn't make it, we didn't make it.

All right.

So, okay.

Yeah, cool.

Well, here's the thing.

Hypnotherapy is like magic, okay?

I can deliver magic.

But you've got to really want it.

All right.

If you want to cut back, that's a first goal, right?

If you want to cut back to, it's just an occasional habit.

That's cool.

We've got to go where you want to go with it and I can help you do it.

And we can do it over the next week.

Oh shit.

This is getting real.

But we have to start now.

I have to start now. And you want it.
You have to dictate what you need. Well, shit.
This is getting real. But we have to start now.
I have to start now.

You have to dictate what you need.

Well, here's the deal.

This is costing us

10 grand an hour, by the way.

Okay.

All right. So I'm going to talk with...

Sorry, my bad.

Thank you.

That got him going.

All he cares about is money.

You're quitting today.

I'm down to four or five a day. I would like to maybe do two a day and then figure it out from there.
That's a good start. Okay.
And we can do that. And I think once you feel in control of it and it starts to taste a little nasty to you, then we can maybe, if you're interested, going all the way and finish it up.
But can I say this, just to throw this out there, is because I, since I just got sober and because of the pandemic, it's just like, you know, I'm a guy that, you know, and because of my history and the trauma and all that stuff, right? Like, I'm a kind of guy that, like, you know, I'm getting rid of a lot of these addictions and I'm not justifying it. And I'm just saying that, you know, because of the stress level in which we all live in, right? You know, I like to rely on certain vices and it's going to be extra difficult, I think, because we are in this pandemic.
But that being said, I'm willing to try. What would, try we do we do like yoda we do we do no try that's what yoda said um well thanks uh so i deal with uh anxiety fears certainly bad habits and trauma yes so the things that you might be holding onto that are blocking you, you think you it's justified.
If you want, we can get rid of how you're thinking about those traumas, change that. So you feel better so that you might quit.
I have a trauma therapist, so I'm doing EMDR and I'm doing all that stuff. Great.
Great. You know, it's complimentary.
You know, it goes alongside. So it's up to you.
I would never, this is a surprise, right? I would never push you into doing something that you don't feel comfortable with. It works, again, like magic for somebody who wants to change.
I do want to change though. Yes.
All right, so let's talk. Can I ask you some specific questions then? Yeah, specific questions, specific questions.
Specific questions, all right so um we would meet off air to begin the hypnosis okay and then you'll change your smoking habits over the next week and then if you feel comfortable and you're enjoying the process we'll actually do a hypnosis session online next week okay you okay you prepared for that i'm for that? I've never been more prepared.

But are you ready to quit?

Yeah.

Look at me in the face. He doesn't have to be ready to quit quit.

He can just change down the habit.

I just said, I'm going to go down the tube, man.

Can you make him a better friend?

Is that even a thing?

That's not a thing.

That's not a thing.

That's a bad habit of not texting back.

Can you hypnotize him for texting people back?

All right.

I'm never going to let that go.

Are you going to agree to this?

I'm agreeing to it.

Wonderful.

Okay.

Wow.

This is very Jerry Springer-y right now.

Yeah.

Like, you know. Hypnotize him for texting people back.
All right. I'm never going to let that go.
Are you going to agree to this? I'm agreeing to it.

Wonderful.

Okay.

Wow. This is very Jerry Springer-y right now.

Yeah.

Like you just went, here's the baby mama.

Wait till you see when we get the test results.

It's going to change everything.

So off air, you're going to get with him and you're going to work with him.

When do we do that?

Off air.

When you guys schedule and then you're going to do one.

I want a live hypnotherapy. All right.
So off air, we do that through zoom or something or FaceTime. Okay.
We will do a hypnosis session next week on air and that will lock. That's your quitting day.
Yes. Next week.
Yes, it is. That's your, that's your agreement date, right? Whatever that is.
I shouldn't say quit. You the alter date, right? Where you're going to change your habit.

Your habit is completely changed at that point.

Okay. So I can actually help

your audience with this too.

Anybody who's wanting to quit.

Just for you guys, bad friends,

if you want, small plug

if you don't mind. Yeah, go ahead.

Cool. So if you go to

Village Hypnotherapy, that's my practice.

Village Hypnotherapy, like a town. Village Hypnotherapy, that's my practice, Village Hypnotherapy, like a town, villagehypnotherapy.com slash bad friends.

Perfect.

And I have a discount a little bit off of what I normally charge for this entire program.

And there's even a lifetime guarantee, believe it or not. So after you quit quit, if would you know quit quit then i offer one extra session if they happen to unlikely relapse oh wow you're ready to get that's that's how confident i am and what is the word hypnotized you ready to get hypnotized i guess i am all right we'll say thank you thank you so much my bald head of that bobby all right well i can't we can't wait to watch this go down.
Yeah. So we'll say thank you.
Thank you so much. My bald-headed friend.
You bet, Bobby. All right, we can't wait to watch this show down.
I see you. So we'll reconnect.
Yes. Perfect.
All right, brother. Say thank you and goodbye, Bobby.
Make it so. Make it so.
Like Star Trek says. And engage.
Thank you. Thank you, Jason.
Talk soon. Thanks, man.
Bye. You got it.
Bye-bye. Bye.
He's got a Jean-Luc Bacardi kind of vibe about him,

so I like it.

Listen, I appreciate what you're doing for me,

but...

There is no but.

Did I say but?

It felt like a but was coming.

And...

But I tell you what,

we do have to cut out that guy's plug

if this doesn't work.

Wow, that's really nice of you.

But I'm doing this for you

because I really want you to quit smoking.

Thank you. But I'm doing this for you because I really want you to quit smoking.
Do you care though, really? Yeah, see, this is what's annoying. This is the crux of what we're talking about.
Let me say it right now. Here's my question for you.
Why do you have to assume ill intent with everything that either one of us are doing when it comes to our friendship towards you. Automatically.
Yeah, it's just automatically there's some kind of agenda. I have no agenda.
I have genuine love for you. I'm going to tell you why.
Hold on. Let me explain something real fast.
Yes, it's on the show because I think it's entertaining to put on the show. But I knew the only way you would take me serious is if I put it on the show.
If I said I'm going to get you a hypnotherapist off air, you'd be like, I don't want to do it. Fuck you.
Shut up. Leave me alone.
I'm just going to give you an example. That's true.
I'm just going to give you an example that encapsulates my relationships with you Hollywood types. Oh, my God.
And I'm a man of the people. You're the most Hollywood people.
I'm a man of the people. You're the most.
I'm the man of the people. You're wearing a $9,000 shirt.
What? You're wearing a $9,000 shirt. This is $90 a shirt.
More, more. You're the most Hollywood person.
You're the most Hollywood guy on earth. I know.
I take very big offense to that. Oh, you're the Hollywoodist motherfucker.
I'm a man of the people. Oh, my God.
I grind it out with the fucking common folk. You complain constantly about not being around common folk.
That's not true. You say stuff to me You know what you said to me when we had dinner at the house? What? About the steak thing? And I said, oh man, I should go get steaks.
And you go, ew, ew, no. Have someone bring us steaks.
That's what you said. Yeah.
Postmates. Was he complaining? Postmates.
Because he's always telling me I'm complaining. Yeah, he complains.
But all this motherfucker does is complain. Yeah.
I'm gonna tell you. But the narrative is out there that all these fucking idiot ass fans are like,

oh, you're complaining again, Griffin?

Because anything he says.

So I got to have fat Lando

for the rest of my fucking life.

You know,

all this shit

that these people say to me.

And that's one of these narratives

where I go,

this motherfucker complains

all the time.

We commiserate with each other,

but then you put it out there

like I'm the only...

I'm just going to tell you

a story that encapsulates

my fucking relationship with you Hollywood types.

Okay.

I'm going to say that again.

Go ahead.

We're not Hollywood types.

All right.

So I have a friend named Steve Byrne.

We know him well.

Okay.

So he calls me one day and he says.

Is this an Asian beef?

It's not an Asian beef.

Okay.

I'm just curious.

No, because he happens to be half Korean.

I love Asian beef, by the way.

Yeah.

It's delicious.

Mongolian.

Yeah.

Go ahead. He calls me one day and he goes.
Pan goes, I'm doing a movie. I'm doing a movie, he says.
Uh-huh. Right? And I go, okay, cool.
I want you in it. Thank you.
A week later, when I'm supposed to shoot, right, I see Jimmy O. Yang going, I'm in Steve Byrne's movie.
Uh-huh. a good actor And he's very funny Listen, I'd pick Steve O.
Yang I would pick Jimmy O. Yang He's really good Go ahead It's either him or Dat Fan Either or Anyway, you see Jimmy O.
Yang. So he's shooting the movie.
Right. So I call Steve and I go, hey, I thought you called me for the movie.
He goes, yeah, you know, I just, I'm going to use Jimmy O. Yang.
Yeah. You know.
But was my feelings hurt? No, because that's what I expect out of you types. This is nuts.
Steve Byrne has nothing to do with us. Wait, wait, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew.
Would this kind of be like if I said, hey, let's do a podcast together, and then you go, I decided to go with Andrew. Because see, you Hollywood types.
No, you Hollywood types. You're a Hollywood a Hollywood motherfucker.
Hey, you. You're a Hollywood motherfucker.
How is it different? Tell me how it's different. Let me tell you something.
I already told you why. You two Hollywood types.
I said, right, stop. I said, right to you, I said, you know how he is like.
Yeah. Right? He's a bully.
He's aggressive. He's a bully.
He's a bully. Shut up.
Yeah, you are. Shut up.
You're a bully. And he's cornering me into a fucking, like, you know, it's like.
And you know I'm nice. You're nice.
And you took advantage of that and didn't tell me like you wanted Steve Byrne to tell you. No, that's not true.
Okay. All right.
I'm just saying that I already called you. Would you have wanted a respectful call from Steve Byrne being like, Bobby, I've actually decided to go in a different direction.

Would you have liked that call? Would that have made you feel good? Right, and that's why I

called you. You didn't.
This is the same call.

No. Yeah, I called you and I said,

talk man to man, right?

Friend to friend, right?

Oh. Yeah, and I said,

you know what? Was I on that call?

I called you.

So he threw me under the bus. He goes, he's a bully.
He blamed everything on me. By the way, this wasn't even my idea.
Whose idea was it? Your idea? Kalilah was the first one that said, you guys really should. The fans in the last belly said, you should.
You should. You should.
So then it was, you should. You should.
You should. And then we finally just, I said, do you want to do one? I'll do one.
Are we going to do one or no? And then you said, well, you know, Griff had asked me before,

but it never worked out

because then we did belly.

And then you said to me,

no, we can't do a show.

And I said, okay.

And then I said,

do you want to do one or not?

After the third time we did the show

and well, you guys should just do one together.

So don't put it on me.

No, you're twisting my fucking mind right now.

How?

You're a mind twister.

How? That's true. To tell you.
To tellya. He's a mind twister right now, dude.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. You called me every fucking week.
When are we going to do this, Bob? Because at that point you agreed to it. No, no, no.
Did you not agree to it? You're running out of BDIs. Did you not agree to it?

You're a fucking liar, man.

So I bullied you into it.

You bullied me into it, dude.

All right, well, then you can quit and then he'll do it.

No.

I'm already knee deep in it.

I commit to it.

I'm knee deep.

It's like a war, right?

Once you're in Nam, you're in Nam.

He pretends like, I made you, I forced you to do this podcast.

Oh, he poured it on like that.

That's such bullshit. You manipulated him.
Do you know why this happened? The truth be told, right? I do know why. You know why.
I can't say it on the air, but you know why. I do know why.
All right, so that's that. Okay, but let me ask you this.
Yes. What does that have to do with our friendship with you? What do you mean? How are you comparing what Steve Byrne – he made a business decision business decision yeah he said jimmy oyang is hot right now hot you know he's hot he's younger skinnier his hair is sexy funny smart cool he's on a hot show and you're mad that he made that choice yes i can understand all right but what i'm saying is that is totally different from

you're you're you're saying that we're gonna do that to you when have i ever done that to you

when have i ever not treated you like a brother same tell me same and when i have not what should we scroll that list again Do you?

Yeah.

How many meals have we had?

Oh, here we go.

How many meals have we had?

What do you, what do you... I treat you like a brother too.

Do you?

Yeah.

Do you? How many meals have we had?

Oh, here we go.

How many meals have we had?

What do you treat me like?

What do you mean?

You say, if that's how you treat him and he's your brother, then what do you treat me like?

I love you, man.

Oh, wow.

I happen to fucking love you, man.

I happen to love you so much, man.

So when we do something good for you, why won't, when we do something good for you,

why won't you let us do something good for you?

That's the point of all of this.

That's exactly.

When you were going through shit,

I knew you were going through shit.

I kept trying to call you.

I saw you at the comedy store.

I tried to corner you and be like,

hey, you need to, let's, you know,

and he took me into like a little freezer

in the comedy store.

He took me in there and he was acting weird

and he took off.

And I was like, I don't know what's going on

with this motherfucker. Those are my meetings.
That's a meeting style that I have. I take offense for you saying that my friendship with you is some sort of Hollywood type with some hidden agenda.
I'll have to be honest with you. Let's be honest, okay? And you know what? I was being defensive and I was throwing around, and that quite possibly isn't the truth.
Here's the truth. Oh, wow.
Can we mark the day and the time right now? You guys want to hear truth? Yes, truth. All right.
The truth is that I've told people, and I've said this to Kalilah in the past. I've said, you know, Eric Griffin is somebody

I feel like I've known all my life.

And he's somebody that, like,

if I had $20 million

and I needed to, you know what I mean,

I didn't want to put it in a bank

and I needed to keep it safe,

I would probably give it to you

and you wouldn't touch a dime of it.

You're a good dude, man. All right said that.
I just made that up. But that's how I feel.
You see what I'm saying? I mean... This is what I'm talking about.
So he just made a scenario in his head that he was like, this sounds good. He does this all the time.
I love it. I love it, right? And with me, what? With you is, you remind me, honestly, the first night.
Do you remember the first night I saw you? I do remember. You do? Yeah.
D'Elia and I were sitting were sitting there i know we watched you perform and i said to myself that guy has a future and then when i came up to you and we started talking and stuff you were the kindest guy i've only had the most utmost respect for you as a stand-up and as an actor and everything you embody everything that i want to be in this business. You really are.

You have it all.

And not only are you, but it's how difficult it is being a white guy in this day and age to work.

You embody something different.

You know what I mean?

So it's like you should be very proud of yourself.

I love you.

I appreciate it.

I'm waiting.

You know what?

I'm with you.

Don't you feel like a rug is about to be like an ejector seat or something? I wish I meant you. I appreciate it.
I'm waiting. You know what? I'm with you.
Don't you feel like a rug is about to be like an ejector seat or something? And I wish I meant that. I do mean it.
I do mean it. I do mean it.
Okay, so what we're saying is. And I want to say this too.
From this day forward. From this day forward.
When we do something nice, take it as a friendship. And I will.
But dude, you have to understand, right? But that's not my history, dude. But it is with us.
No. It is with us.
No. We've never fucked you over.
What have I fucked you? I've never fucked you over. I understand that.
But it's about to happen. What are you talking about? It's not going to happen.
I'm going to say this. You're right.
What are you talking about? You're absolutely right. That's why I was upset.
I'm upset because of, like, you don't – you treat me as if, like, we're not even friends at all. And I'm just like, wait, I think I've earned more from you than that treatment.
You and your fucking brother. So this is why I'm sitting here like, what's going on? The truth be told is this.
And let's go in the past then. Let's go back in the past.
Let's go to the this is, I'm going to use it with these candles as a little demonstration. Sure.
But is this like a true story or is this like Is this some Lord of the Rings? This is not Lord of the Rings, okay? Is this some J.K. Rowling Lee type of thing? Okay, so this is when I was born, okay? Just a baby, innocent, right? Shaped like a can.
See, and that's an attack on my body as a baby. Don't baby body shame.
Don't baby body shame. Don't baby body shame.
So you were born. This is post-World War II.
This is right after the war. The baby boomers.
Okay. Generation X.
Thank you. Anyway, so this part is what I want to talk about.
This section. Wait, what's section of my life.
Wait, what's this section? This is childhood. This is childhood, trauma, all that stuff.
Trauma. So throw that can on the ground.
Yeah. Right.
But here, this is. Tip it over.
This is when, this is in 2000 when I thought, wow, my life is really changing. Okay.
Mad TV. Mad TV, Tonight Show, you know.
this is back when I did Harold and Kumar. Oh, right.
Right? All those little things, all right? When this little phase was over, this gap right here was the darkest years of my life. This gap right here.
Yeah. Right? In fact, one time, I was really bummed out in the patio and Brian Callen walked up to me and goes, I heard you're really bummed about your career.
And I go, I am. You know what this fucker said to me? He goes, you should try taking acting classes.
Oh, man. Truth bomb.
Like I fucked. I'm getting asked.
I'm getting a movie with you. We were good.
You saw the scenes. I was teasing you.
You saw the scenes. I can't wait for that to come out, actually.
It's a good scene that you and I are in. All right.
So, right. So in this gap, nobody helped me.
Nobody. You know, I didn't even know you.
Right. Yeah.
And I was struggling in this business. Okay.
And now this is the new era of Bobby Lee. All right.
So you have in this gap, no one helped me. I was really depressed for many, many years.
I didn't really make a lot of money. I thought my career was over.
And in this new thing, something's happened where it's shifted a bit for me. But you have to understand that this comes with a little suspect.
I'm waiting for the rug to be, you know what I mean, pulled underneath me. Yeah.
Right? The house to collapse.

Yeah.

Right? understand that this comes with a little suspect i'm waiting for the rug to be you know i mean pulled underneath me yeah right the house to collapse yeah right you always have that fear right so when i go into any kind of relationship or any kind of business engagement there is you know i put my walls up and they're you know because i this whole thing i don't want that to happen all right give me those two cans i'm going to. Asians and their walls.
Okay, I'm going to show you something. Just because he's better at learning through visuals.
So this is the point in time that you're speaking about, right? Yeah. And these are all the childhood before it.
They would go over here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that gap that was there between this point, 2000, and now, remember this gap? Yeah. Okay, so in the event that that happens again after this little Bobby Lee fun time, wouldn't it be nice to know you have friends that are real? Let me get this back.
Thank you, Rudy. Thank you for understanding.
Let's get this back. No.
Because what you have to understand is that at this point, right, I thought I had allies like your types. We weren't.
We never did it. We were never not allies to you.
So you're telling me that there's people during this time that spoke the same way you spoke. Okay? And then when this happens again, right? When this gap happens again, right? Where are you guys going to be? And I'm just protecting myself for that moment.
You know what? This is probably the most sort of real vulnerableness I've ever seen from him. So I'll say I understand that.
Thank you. But all I can tell you is, all I can do is do what I've been doing.
That's all I can do. You more than him, I trust, I think.
i mean i do literally everything for you i was testing you with that statement it's so annoying i do everything for you i do everything for you i just wanted to see what your reaction was anger annoyance that wasn't true i was just a test is that not right it's a bad test bobby listen listen listen i'll say this then as your friend yeah understanding all your trauma, understanding all your weirdness, I'm just telling you right now that I'm going to continue to keep doing everything that I've done and keep doing it until one day you can go, all right, I trust you. You're my friend.
You all right? That's all I can do. Okay.
And I. Yeah.
I just feel like this has been an attack on me. No.
I honestly. Yeah, it's all been.
I've been defensive the whole time. No, that's not true.
You attacked Griff the first three seconds of the show. Yeah, I was joking.
Yeah, but that's your defense mechanism all the time to deflect from being real about anything. All right.
Fine. All right.
Anytime we get real, he goes, you're knuckles.

You know, you have some shit to say.

Okay.

And I just was vulnerable here.

And I love it. The vulnerability was nice.

I was vulnerable here.

We still love you.

I love you too.

Pause.

I love you as well.

Pause.

I love you as well.

Andrew, Andrew.

I love you too.

I do.

I do.

Okay.

All right. Well, we love you.
All right. Yeah, obviously.
But let's just relax We're relaxed Everything's fine Yes it is fine Everything is fine And we're glad And we're glad that Griff came You need to go You're checking your watch You're good You know what the problem is When you have one of these Like smart watches And you get all these Notifications for shit That you know Maybe you have so much hair there that's... Here we go, and we're back!

And we're back!

How has it been at the house, Rudy?

Are you okay? Yeah. Is everything okay?

Yeah, everything's fine.

The construction is loud.

The dogs are... Wait, you guys are staying at the house during the construction?

I thought you said you were going to go out.

I have too many animals, and then it's like

I have a cat named Ming.

And she's peeing blood. Okay.
Yeah. So just put it outside.
No. That's what you do.
Put that cat outside. No, no, you put it down.
Yeah. I'm saying you put it outside.
Oh, right. You don't put it outside.
Let the outside take care of it. That should be handled on the streets.
That's nature, baby. I love Ming more than I love some of my cousins.
All right? I love my animal. Right? I love my animal.
Last night we spent a lot of money to get her fucking urinary tract analyzed. She has a UTI? I don't know.
We had to get x-rays. Right? We went over there.
And it's just expensive. How many animals do you have now? Six.

Oh, jeez.

I have six animals, right?

You're a petting zoo at your point. I know.

And I have a dog named Remy.

We had knee surgery, oral surgery, all that stuff.

What?

Because I love...

Can you guys start getting new dogs?

No, they hold onto them forever,

and then they regenerate them somehow.

No, no, I'm saying, like, they...

What do you mean?

We clone them?

I don't know what you guys do

you got a dog for 25 years

fucking Robocop dogs

without my animals I think this pandemic would be difficult I love your dog your dog is so cute my dog has helped on shitty days for some reason but are you struggling I want to know how it for you. Because Rudy doesn't get enough attention and love.
She needs to know that she... Are you struggling in the house? No, it's fine.
Well, let me show you something. Because you're such a big Hunter Hunter fan, we had somebody reach out to you to say hello to you.
Okay? Rudy, it's me, Hisoka, from Hunter Hunter. I just want to tell you, you are the best.
I think you are the coolest knife girl in the world. Santino, you're too angry.
Cool it out, bro. And you, Bobby Rhee, you're a crazy, weird, round, squishy little man.

And I love you.

I love you all.

That's Hisoka from Hunter x Hunter.

Isn't that cool?

It's cool.

That's Hisoka.

That's her favorite character.

I understand, but who's doing the voice there?

Hisoka, the guy that does it. Okay.
Listen to it again. Is that really the voice guy? Listen, you can tell.
Is this like Cleveland on a white guy doing it? Listen, she knows it's Hasoka. Listen, ready? This is you.
Rudy. It's you.
I just want to tell you. All right, here's the real deal.
Wait, wait. It's not me.
First of all, it's not me. Second of all, I tried to get the real Hisoka.

I DM'd Hisoka for you.

I DM'd him, and I wrote in Japanese.

In Japanese, I wrote him because I said,

a friend of ours is such a big fan,

it would mean the world to us if you could be on the show.

And he said back to me in Japanese, buzz off.

Buzz off.

Did he really?

No, but I did send him a DM.

I sent him a DM.

Look, I sent him a DM in Japanese.

You can see it.

Everybody can see it.

Can you roll the outtakes, please, of Andrew filming it

and the fun he was having?

That's not my voice.

But I have to say, without Giuliano slash Rudy.

It's-a me, Hisoka. Having Rudy in the house has been a lifesaver.
I know, huh? She does everything. She brings a lot of light.
She does everything in the house. So she's an endangered servant.
Is that what you're saying? No, no, no. We have bargains.
I don't want to say the S for her. You can say it.
No, we have a bargain. She gets to sleep in one of the good rooms? Is it like Harry Potter?

Are you under the stairs?

Yeah.

Tonight you get to sleep on two bales of men.

Let me ask you something.

Are you happy with the room you're in?

Have you walked around the house and been like, this room would be better?

No.

Do you think you're in the better room is what I'm saying of the empty rooms?

You bought her a fucking cabinet and shit.

Hey, hey, hey.

You're supposed to do that stuff.

What else would she be doing?

Yeah, where's she supposed to put her stuff? Yeah. Am I a good uncle to you? Yes.
Thank you. Really? Very good uncle to her.
Yeah. But, I mean, what else are you going to say right now? Okay, let me ask you this.
Let me ask you this, Juliana, all right? Since we're not, because you've seen this episode, right? I'm getting obliterated here. That's not true.
I'm getting obliterated. So let's.
Obliterated? Since we're here, right? Why don't you. I'm going to give you the opportunity to give me some criticism of how I could be better as an uncle to you in the house.
This is wonderful. I love it.
You can start with like showering more. Things like that.
Go ahead. I think you can complain less.
Oh. Hold it.
You can start with like showering more. Things like that.
Go ahead.

I think you can complain less.

Oh, shit. Hold it.

Hold it.

Hold it.

What do I complain about?

Everything.

Everything.

Okay.

Hold it.

Hold it.

There's got to be more.

I think that you can make our lives a bit easier with you not being dramatic. Wow.
Isn't she lovely? Is there more? Is there more? Is there more? Keep going, girl. you can try to clean your mess

and not wait for others to help you. Get to his acting.
This is great. Keep going.
You're just getting started. There's one that you're holding out, and I know it.
There's one that you really want to say. You can say it.
He said you can say it. Go ahead.
I think you don't need to save your boogers for me. Because I try and do my best in the house.
And then I respect you. Okay.
So just to clarify.

So when you say

save his boogers.

Yeah.

So you mean he digs in

and then he brings them to you.

He collects them and he tries to punish her with them.

That's a thing that he does.

Go on.

Have I ever put a booger on you?

Yeah. Oh yeah.
A bloody one. One time.
On your back. That's all it takes.
Just what? I know. And I apologize for that.
It's okay. It's not a two-booger minimum.
Is that it? Yeah. I have some things I need to express as well.
About rude? Oh, yeah. All right.
All right. Don't be vindictive.
I'm not being vindictive. What the fuck? What do you do? do you think she was doing wait wait wait acknowledge what she said I acknowledge it and I heard everything you said alright yeah but you can't get revenge right away I'm not gonna get revenge man yeah this is you're building up no I just you know okay you know every once in a while in the house I would like an ally.
You know, because I get ganged up on. And no matter what Kalilah says, you agree, right? No matter what it is, you know? She could say something like, Hitler was all right.
And she'd be like, yeah, auntie, Hitler was all right. She doesn't give a fuck right that's dope though

that she stands by Kalilah she stands by her like for instance today right I had some extra steak left over on my salad just hear me out alright and I'm feeding them little chunks of steak just meat fresh meat who the dogs the dogs yeah little leftovers would you do the same I do do that I did it this morning exactly Yeah. And she comes in all judgy like, what are you doing? I go, I'm just...
And I go, don't tell Kalilah I did that. Huh.
It's too much. You know what I mean? I want to leave it.
Too much. Let me say something to you, little brat.
Oh, hey, hey. She didn't use any slurs.
No slurs. She didn you she could have i know she could have all right could have you one you little one is that better you little sweet person sweet little one sweet little person and i want to say this is that like i i don't want to live i don't want to feel like i'm being spied on right and i i also don't like narcs right and every once in a while you know i would just like like you to let things pass every once in a while so I don't get in trouble all the time I have a question do you have a secret agreement with Kalilah to watch over him no it's a blood pact does she say to you, hey when I'm not motherfucker.
Yeah, but she knows she gets points from Kalilah when she does.

Yeah, yeah.

That's what it is.

Let me ask you another question, all right?

If I said right now, hey, you know what?

I want to stop by Starbucks and get a cup of coffee.

Don't tell Kalilah.

Will you tell her?

Maybe now I won't.

Okay, wait. Are you starting to see that? Are you starting to see the error in that? Having a friend? You got a bribe.
That's the thing. Bribe her.
I gave her a three. What's our contract? Two weeks.
Two weeks. Without abuse.
Abuse. But also, give her some more money.
Bribe her. Bribe her with money and stuff.
They like money and stuff. Young people want money.
She's not like that. If I say, hey, can I buy you some shoes? I don't need it.
But if Kalilah bought her shoes, it'd be great. But she just wants you to give her the money for the shoes so she can buy whatever she wants.
Yeah. Anime and all that shit.
Whatever she wants. She already fucking knows whatever she needs, I'll get it for her.
You know that, right? Yeah. Right? Do you? Do you have an iPad? Yeah.
Who got you that iPad? You. Exactly.
Yeah, but don't rub it in. I'm not rubbing it in.
I'm just going to, these are factual information. I know.
All right? Well, then don't say it's all gross. But it's a rub it in tone.
Yeah. Who pays for your phone? You.
Exactly. Right? But do I ever rub that in? I never, until now.
No. Exactly.
Right? But you forget about that shit, don't you? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.
You forget about that little fucking little shit, don't you? All right? No. Whatever you need.
If you said, Uncle Tito, I want Hunter Hunter season 19. You'll buy it.
I'll buy Hunter Hunter season 19. Okay.
All right? Without using it against her. I think this was fair, what he's saying.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
You know, he's going to work on some of these things, but you can't just immediately be like, you know, I think I like it. Yeah, yeah.
Bobby was drinking Starbucks and he gave the dogs. I don't always snark on him.
You don't always? But there should be a knock meter. But why do you do it? I only narc on him when he does things the wrong way.
Oh. See.
There we go. Okay, give us an example.
What's the wrong way? What the wrong way is? What's the wrong way? When he tried to give food to the dogs, I think it's the wrong way because the dogs are getting more spoiled. And then the dogs are asking.
Okay, so it's not a health thing. No, not a health thing.
So this is like an opinion thing, though. Maybe.
So you ratted him out because you have a different opinion. And this is why I love you, man.
That's smart thinking. And that's the right approach.
So I'm just saying like. Very nice.
But let me tell you something Yeah back me up I'm gonna split the difference This right here Will dictate a lot between us I'm sure of you Thank you And I know you probably do give the dogs An insane amount of shit Sometimes Yeah because, because did she... You know what I'm saying.
Yeah, you want to go to war. No.
You want to go to war with me? I'm saying, am I wrong? Sometimes. Okay, well let me step in on this though.
Why did you... Why are you expecting less? Yeah.
He got you an iPad. He pays for your phone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He said you living in a house.
He said he'll get season 19 of Hunter Hunter whenever you want you're not even doing shit there's no equipment over there so now you're telling me that when he does that for something else you're like oh this is wrong so maybe you're spoiled uh oh wow oh shit so maybe you shouldn't get an iPad and you should start paying for your phone bill, maybe. Right? Oh, shit.
Oh. Oh.
Rudy. Rudy.
Tito Andrew will pay for your phone bill. Okay.
I'm just saying, you know, you guys belong together. Honestly.
Yeah, they're perfect for each other. You guys are perfect for each other.
It's perfect. She cleans up his mess.
Jules, Jules, Jules. The honest truth.
Since we're here, since we're talking honesty and being real, the honest, I may, I've always wanted to have a kid. I really have.
I've always wanted one. And having you around the house gives me a glimpse of how great a kid would be because...
Let's get you a kid. No, I'm just saying.
Well, he's afraid. Why don't you have don't you have a kid shut the fuck up let me finish with my fucking compliment right but if I ever have a kid I will want a kid just like you aww you could adopt adopt her she's fucking 19 now well then you're good no child support that's perfect you skipped all the bad shit kick her out whatever you need I always tell her I you know, just when we're driving or whatever and we're by ourselves, I would say, you know.
And what drives me crazy is because she has an Auntie Louisa, right? Just don't roll your eyes, right? In the car, I asked her just on the drive over here. I go, who do you love more, Auntie Louisa or me? I knew her longer.
She's family. Yeah.

Right?

I go, but what has she done for you?

That's a diplomatic thing right there.

Yeah, but I don't like it.

She's known her longer.

That's blood.

Yeah, but I think that deep down inside, I'm better for her.

And I love her more.

Where's Auntie Luisa?

Is she back in the Philippines?

Yeah.

Well, yeah, we don't need her anymore.

But guess what?

Auntie Luisa's here.

Come on out, Auntie Luisa! She's like, I got you. It's late already.
You got COVID tested yesterday? Today, too. Every day.
Oh, for your TV shoot? Yeah. I got one Tuesday as well.
Did you get one? Yeah, about a few weeks back. Yeah.
Have you ever gotten one? Nope. This shit's terrible.
I hate it. Yeah, also they just kind of like, they do probably a thousand a day.
That's what scares me. So they don't give a fuck about your nostrils.
So they just got, you know what I mean, as if they're churning butter in your mouth. Yeah, like they're whisking some eggs for an omelet, man.
It's just, why can't they do blood? Don't they do blood? Or no, it's only in your nose. Yeah, but it's like, it's intrusive.
They jam it into the top and there's a chemical

where there's like a chemical, like it's like a

meth-y kind of chemical.

And you sneeze every time. I don't know

if you, I sneeze every time. Did they ask you if you,

did you guys do the antibodies to see if you used to

have it? No, I didn't do that.

I just did the straight test. See, that's what I

want to know because if you have the antibodies, then I'd be less

nervous about traveling and all that stuff.

Like, it would scare me less if I had it already. So do you, you let me ask you about traveling do you have any dates lined up or no i was gonna do a college gig and then they made it virtual so i was like yes you got paid for a virtual gig dude i want to do that so bad that's amazing it's college so it doesn't matter but but but i haven't i i keep pushing them back same i just don't know about getting on a plane and at a certain point too, you're just like, how much money is enough money to be like, okay, I'll get on this plane and deal with the connection and deal with, like, you know what I mean? Yeah, but I feel like, first of all, fly direct, always.
It just depends on some of these places. I won't go.
I do. That was the thing I did last year.
I said, I'm not going to go if I can't get there one way. If I can't just land in the city and get there by car close, I'm not going to go drive, stop twice, drive.
I can't do it anymore. It just wears on you.
By the way, did you see the guy who killed bin Laden? He posted a picture of him on a plane not wearing a mask and said, I'm not a pussy. Did you see that? Well, listen, here's the problem.
Delta banned him from their flights. And the irony of this whole thing that many people explain in the thread but this is what the internet does right away they're like fucking piece of shit what an asshole who cares if you kill bin laden that's a dick move he's making an a military joke when you look at the photo i'll bring it up he's sitting on a delta flight a guy next to him, bin Laden, killer, won't wear a mask.

A guy sitting next to him was wearing a USMC shirt,

a Marine Corps shirt right here.

He's wearing a Marine Corps hat.

Sorry, US Marine.

And see, he tweeted, I'm not a pussy.

But he probably did have a mask, and he was just making a joke.

That's the joke, right.

So he's making a military joke about the Marinesines right that was what the thread turned into by this time his wife had made him delete the tweet because she's like you went viral why did what did you do like it's all over the place yeah he shows her what he did thinking it's a joke and delta now bans him from flights yeah because it says i'm not a pussy he had a mask you know he just took it off to take the photo because he thought that was funny. All of this stuff is getting out of hand.
Isn't that fucking crazy, though? It's out of hand. Also, also, ballsy move by Delta banning the guy that killed bin Laden.
He might come back after your ass. I'm not messing with a bin Laden killer.
Are you kidding me? It's sort of like, yeah. He wasn't by himself, by the way.
On the flight? No, when he killed bin Laden. Yeah, he didn't fly there on like a Southwest flight.
He just happened to be the guy that walked in the room first. He was the first one.
I know, but I've seen the movie. You act like it's not insanely hard to kill.
It's difficult. I would have killed all the kids in the house before I'd been locked in.
You would have killed yourself first. Yeah, I would have, and it's on my fucking face.
You know what I mean? Bobby, we're going in. Yeah, yeah.
I would have been dead first. That's not my point and I thank him for doing it but I'm just saying that he was with a bunch of guys with the little thing.
It's a bad joke. He's like, this is a bad joke or this thing is going on here? This is a bad joke.

Griff.

Fuck you, Griff.

I'm just saying. This is a bad joke.

The problem with this is now the internet gets a hold of things. They create their own narrative.

But ban him from Delta? Ban him from

making one small stupid joke? That's a little

over the top.

We are not going to stop people from wearing

masks. He's probably

wore a mask. Some people are going to wear it.

Some people are now in a point of view

is go ahead.

I'm going to go people from wearing masks. He's probably wore a mask.
Some people are going to wear it.

Some people are.

And I'm now in a point of view is go ahead.

Don't wear a mask.

But I'm going to.

I'm going to wear one.

Yeah, but I think you should. I just think this is him thinking it's a funny thing.

He should have just sent this as a text to his friend.

Listen.

Not to the fucking internet.

I hate wearing a mask.

Just like I don't always like wearing a seatbelt or I always don't like the things that you have to do.

It doesn't even bother me.

I hate it.

I hate can't stand it.

Is it because your ears are wide and far apart?

There we go.

There we go.

Are you happy?

I love it.

Stop.

Keep going.

Stop.

No.

You do have a big head.

But go ahead.

But what is it?

His head is bigger than mine.

Proportion to his body.

Yeah.

Proportion wise, you're right. You're right.
That is true. Okay.
He's like a yellow snowman. You But what is it? His head's bigger than mine, proportion to his body.
Yeah, proportion-wise, you're right.

You're right.

That is true.

Okay.

He's like a yellow snowman.

It's still bigger.

It's still bigger.

Like if somebody peed on the ground.

And they rolled it into a snowball.

And they rolled it into a snowball.

If an ant's head's bigger, proportion to his body, your head's still bigger.

Okay.

Tell me why you don't like wearing a fucking mask.

I understand I don't like wearing a mask.

But at the same time, too, I also don't like the energy people give you about when you don't have a mask on. I think that is part of the problem, too.
Big time. You know? It's like the people that are like, you know, it's like, yo, yo, mind your fucking business.
I say just put it on. No, but I'm saying you know.
Let's say you're walking. Sometimes you forget.
Like, I got the fucking mask on. I forgot.
You know what I mean? You're walking, and then somebody might hit you with a, like, I want you to, like, go through, like, a coffee bean drive-thru. I'm in the drive-thru, you know? And I get up to pay, and the guy slams the thing shut.
You know? He's like, just the way he was active. You know? Then you get it, you go, yeah, bitch, give me my fucking shit.
You know what you know what i mean i just kissed it like it didn't have to be so demonstrative to not wear one it just makes it a whole thing we can just be like you know hey we need to wear a man you know sure he could have been a little bit nicer that's all i'm saying people could be a little bit nice because that's because you're at a fancy what is a coffee bean yeah you go through jack You go through Jack in the Box. They're like, take off the mask, man.

No one gives a shit over here.

I understand.

You're in a drive-thru.

You don't think, oh, maybe I don't need this.

Right.

It's not like I was like, I'm not trying to be like a rebel.

See, I haven't worn one in a drive-thru.

I haven't worn one.

Yeah, some drive-thrus are like, yeah, you got to wear a mask.

Because they wear them and I just take it through the window and I don't come near them.

No, some places.

But I'm saying it's not crazy that I didn't have the mask on.

Right.

It's not like I'm walking into a fucking, you know.

Rudy is an anti-masker.

Anti-vax, anti-mask.

Thank you. No, because I know what you're going to do.
You're just going to cut it off. Why? What are you talking about? Every time you guys call me, you're like, okay, Griff, do this.

And then you hang up on me.

No, well, you just look at the camera.

Fucking do it!

Look at the... Griff!

Griff!

I'm out.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

The disrespect.

Disrespectful.

The disrespect.

Anyway, thank you for being a bad friend.