The White Cheeks

Speaker 1 You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 White dude and Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 We're bad friends. Welcome to bad friends.

Speaker 1 Listen, I've been thinking about the Lord so much as of late. Tell me.

Speaker 2 Hi, Jesus here. Me and my dad are just chilling here at the Heaven Super Disco, waiting for Bobby.
I can already see his gangrene-ridden foot between the pearly gates. As for Andrew, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 No ginger's allowed. Them's the rules.

Speaker 2 But yes, Rudy, lay down those knives.

Speaker 2 Jesus out.

Speaker 1 Well, the Jesus, the Jesus, I call it the Jesus, by the way. You call it the Jesus.
Yeah, because there's only one. There is only one.
Yeah. There can be only one.
There can only be one.

Speaker 1 He's like the Neo of the sky. Uh-huh.
You know how Neo was, you know, the one in the Matrix? Yep. Jesus is the one in the sky.
Fact. And there's no one else that can beat him.
That's right.

Speaker 1 His powers outlast and outpower all the other powerful ones. You better believe it, baby.
Zeus. Zeus.
He can destroy Zeus. He can destroy.

Speaker 1 What else is another?

Speaker 1 Medusa. Yeah, Medusa.
Isn't Medusa one? Medusa's. Is Medusa a Greek god? Yes.
Sure. Why not? Yeah.
Because all I know is from Clash of the Titans. Oh.
Oh, yeah. He can destroy the Kraken.

Speaker 1 What about

Speaker 1 what's some other Greek gods?

Speaker 1 Pyrenees. He's a good one.
Pyrenees. Pegasus.
Pegasus.

Speaker 1 Is Pegasus a god? Yes. He's a horsey, huh? He's a horse god.
Anyway, Jesus is the best. And I believe, you know, I had a spiritual awakening this week.
And I've been reading the Bible

Speaker 1 and up the Bible. I know what I have, I'm saying.

Speaker 1 And, you know, I believe that he died for our sins, that he's the manifestation of the real God. Yeah.
He's not just the Son. The Holy Ghost and Jesus and

Speaker 1 God are one. They're one thing.
They're all one thing. Right, but Jesus is the flesh form of the God.

Speaker 1 The ghost, Holy Ghost is the ghost form. Yeah.
Yeah. He's like a transformer God.
This guy can do everything. No, he's like, you know, how transformers can turn into a car and stuff.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but they're the same one, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah.
So, you know, that's what God does. Jesus does.
Jesus. But Jesus is God?

Speaker 1 Jesus is God. So, but God, but God is the.

Speaker 1 Is God separate from Jesus or are they the same thing? They're the same exact thing. But I just told you they're the same, but different form.
They're the different form of the same thing.

Speaker 1 So why do they have two different names?

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 that's true, huh?

Speaker 1 I never thought of it that way. Yeah.
Because the land mammals of our planet,

Speaker 1 which is humans, us and

Speaker 1 via also um elephants.

Speaker 1 Elephants. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
And um the sea pups.

Speaker 1 Oh, sea pups.

Speaker 1 Sea pups are mammals.

Speaker 1 Seapups. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That um

Speaker 1 so you know the land creatures, they need things to be um defined. Uh-huh.
That's why. And so they just need to define.

Speaker 1 In the sky world,

Speaker 1 which is heaven,

Speaker 1 in the sky world, um they don't have those, you know, they don't put people in boxes and they don't have divisions and words for different things.

Speaker 1 You think when you get to heaven, there's no gender, no sex, no class? Oh, no. It's going to be, what's up, you?

Speaker 1 Like, if I came, if I ran into Pamela Anderson in heaven. You sure she's going up there? I'm pretty sure.
Okay. And her tits are.
Whoa.

Speaker 1 Her tits will definitely be there. Yeah.
Yeah. I'd say, what's up, you? What's up, you? And she'll be like, hey.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm just, you know, lifeguarding. Life garden.
That's what she does. In heaven?

Speaker 1 I'm sure. Is there a pool up there? Maybe.
All right. There's everything up there, by the way.
Oh, really? Have you been there? Yeah, because it's like, you know, it's like the Matrix.

Speaker 1 Let's go back to the Matrix. It's like you can manifest in heaven when you're an angel and stuff, any kind of world that you want.

Speaker 1 I believe. I think that's, I believe that to be true.
Yeah, whatever you want it to be. It's there.
Mountaintop. Some would say heaven is right here on Earth.
It's not. This is hell.
This is hell.

Speaker 1 Sure. Los Angeles is hell? No, this planet.
Have you you ever been to Montana? Oh, it's beautiful. Pretty beautiful.
Yeah. That might be heaven.
Yeah, that's heaven. Maybe.

Speaker 1 But let's go back to my Christianity, maybe. Sure.

Speaker 1 Why not? When was the last time you went to church?

Speaker 1 Sunday. Oh, really? Yeah.
What's Korean Christian church like?

Speaker 1 Hello, welcome.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Yes.

Speaker 1 Right now, I talk to you about Jesus Christ. I warden Schleibler.

Speaker 1 Everybody. If it said Warden Schleibler behind the pulpit, how hard? How hard would I laugh? No, if you put a career on Robot, right, there's a church that says R-O-R-D

Speaker 1 A-N, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 S-A-B-E, right? O-R. O-R.
Sabor. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Ward. Soror.

Speaker 1 But anyway, so I believe in the, you know, the Christian rules as well. Like, I believe in thou shall not abort.
Thou shalt not kill. Abhor it.

Speaker 1 Another topic we probably can't talk about.

Speaker 1 The amount of topics that we're not allowed to talk about.

Speaker 1 That's why we started this. New rules.
We started the podcast this way because,

Speaker 1 you know, we want to, because of last week's episode. Well, because the...
We talked about some unsavory topic. Oh, somebody sent me something.
Look at this.

Speaker 1 So I showed you that Calicio Storiccio, the Italian game where they just murder each other. Remember? Oh, yeah, yeah.
I loved it. I forgot to watch that this week.

Speaker 1 Do you know what this is? What Bo Taio Taoshi? This Japanese game? No, what is it? Oh, my. Okay, first of all, let's stop.
Stop. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I love it already because there are stormtroopers in it.

Speaker 1 Yes. There's full-blown stormtroopers.
I love it. Stormtroopers.

Speaker 1 And for some reason, they have those guys that direct airplanes out there right next to them that are just standing waiting to direct traffic.

Speaker 1 These people pay good money to see people do Bo Tao Tao Tao Taoshi. Taoshi.
It literally looks like, because there's a lot of Asians in it, too. Wait, there are? Yeah, those right there.

Speaker 1 It looks like there's 20 stormtroopers and about 120 Yodas.

Speaker 1 This is a cool fucking Star Wars movie. So let me, oh, how about this? Let's just have you guess what's going to happen next.
What next? Oh,

Speaker 1 that's good. That's good.
Okay, so

Speaker 1 all right, so. You're seeing one half of the quote-unquote field, right? You're seeing the mirroring this is the same amount of men in the same amount of money.
Okay, well there's helmets going on

Speaker 1 so i have to assume that they're they're going to use their head in some way that's correct and those helmets seem um like there's it's a gigantic white kind of

Speaker 1 ball yep on their head and it's just it's like you know what that looks like is jack-lanterns made out of just white foam yep right so they're covering every dimension of their face so i can only assume that the guy into the right right in the red yeah red right there is completely fucked because he's got nothing on.

Speaker 1 Well, no, I think he has one, but I feel like they're all gonna headbutt him. Okay.
At the same time. That's a good guess.
Yeah, yeah. Rudy, do you want to take a guess over what happens next?

Speaker 1 Keep in mind, you're not seeing one element of this, but there's another team over there, and they're doing something that we don't see. Rudy, put your mic, please.

Speaker 1 Say what you want to say. What?

Speaker 1 Get closer to the mic, please. There it is.
Please. No, get your mouth closer to the mic.
I'm tired of. That's the attitude.
Okay, go ahead. There it is.

Speaker 3 I don't know. I think they're going to march.

Speaker 1 They're going to march. They're going to march.

Speaker 3 They're going to march to the other team.

Speaker 1 And then I think they're just going to wrestle. They're going to wrestle.
They're going to march to the other team.

Speaker 1 Not run. March.
A march is a specific. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, what are you thinking about? I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That sounds like you've seen too much of that Hitler footage where they march.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is what you're missing.
What I'd left out of this on purpose is there is a man

Speaker 1 on a pole.

Speaker 1 Both teams have a man on a pole. Oh, have you seen this before? No.
A man is on a pole on both teams. The goal is to take that man off.
It's basically capture the flag, but it's a man.

Speaker 1 And your team has to take him down by any means necessary. Go ahead.

Speaker 1 So they start out with a bow. They always bow.
They always bow. No matter what sport it is.
Bow and a chant. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now they're ready to rock and roll. Amazing.
Look at that. Man on a pole.

Speaker 1 Amazing. Look at this.
They have to charge him, and they can kick, they can punch, they can do anything to get on top of there to take him off the pole. Amazing.

Speaker 1 Look at how hard they kick each other when they get up there. Look at the guys just kicking him in the face.

Speaker 1 And look at the little man on the top of the pole holding on as tight as he can.

Speaker 1 They charge and they jump on each other.

Speaker 1 And the reason they have helmets is because they get kicked in the face.

Speaker 1 Kicked in the head as hard as they can. Oh, my God.
Now, watch. Now that they've climbed up, there's definitely somebody on the bottom that's dead.

Speaker 1 Somebody.

Speaker 1 That guy is skillful in the right. Yeah.
Look at his skill level.

Speaker 1 So essentially, once they get to this man on the pole, if they can take him down and climb it themselves, you can punch. You can punch.
Yeah, you can punch. You punch, you can punch.
You can punch.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. You can choke him out.
You can choke him out. You can kiss him.

Speaker 1 Look at that.

Speaker 1 Look at that. Oh, shit.
Shaking. Kicking, kick, kick.
Yeah, kick. Get away.
Get away. Go off.
Get off. Get off.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 And they almost have him.

Speaker 1 There's many men that die underneath that pile. Oh, look at that.
And then someone else got on from the other team. Oh, if somebody goes up, I see.
Somebody tries to replace. No.

Speaker 1 So if your team can rip down that man and then one of your teammates gets to touch the white pole at the top, That's a

Speaker 1 score. I want to do something.

Speaker 1 Let's say you invented this game. I did.
And you're from Japan. I wanted to show it off to you.
You're Japan. Yeah, I'm Japan.

Speaker 1 I want to see how you explained your body how you invented this game, what the rules are. Oh, you're like the International Japanese Sport Council? No, just tell me.
And I come in. Yeah, so yeah.

Speaker 1 So I, you know,

Speaker 1 hey, Shimisitsu. Hi.

Speaker 1 So we today, you know, I called you earlier last week about,

Speaker 1 you know, we don't have a lot of sports here in Japan. We have a sumo.
I have one for you. Yeah, we have ninja.
I love it. You know, but I uh I called you to see if you have a good idea about that.

Speaker 1 I have a great idea.

Speaker 1 Really? Many men charge other men

Speaker 1 as fast as they can. Stop the stuff.
One man on pole,

Speaker 1 another man on pole.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh. They rip down men on pole.

Speaker 1 And other men climb pole.

Speaker 1 Ever jerk pole at top hardest? Yeah, yeah. Win game.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's do it.

Speaker 1 Wow. Somebody came up with that.
Yeah, somebody said, let's jerk him off a pole. Yeah.
Let's hit him as hard as we can off the pole. Bo.

Speaker 1 How do you say that? Bo, Taoshi. Bo, Taoshi.
Tao She.

Speaker 1 But you realize, though, I'm sure there's so many sports that's been invented that just didn't make it to the major leagues. Well,

Speaker 1 enough people were like, I don't want to play that. Yeah, or I don't want to watch it.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? This is usually. I know, but it's like.

Speaker 1 Could you watch a lot of it? It's not, it's because there's no real like

Speaker 1 skill. Do you think there's skill involved in this? Yeah.
Strategy. Because the guy on the pole, there's probably one guy that everyone says, let's say, um, you know, I created my team.
Yeah. Toko.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're the pole. He's like, no, no, why?

Speaker 1 Because I saw you.

Speaker 1 Remember that one time, right? When we were eight, yeah. you were on top of that tree like a fucking koala.
Yeah. Right? And we'd go, get off the tree, Toko, right? And you're like, I don't want to.

Speaker 1 You done coming down for four days.

Speaker 1 You're on top of the four days. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But so that's that guy, right? So that's really not that much of a skill is to hang. No, I think that takes a lot.
That's balance.

Speaker 1 That's coordination, don't you think? All right, balance and coordination, but it's like you don't, there's, you can only, you can do it your own way.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you don't have to get, you don't have to jump and kick and try to hurt people. Right.
And then the other people skill level is to charge and climb. And climb.
Yeah, climb is.

Speaker 1 It's not really a skill, though, is it? Strategy. That's what I said, strategy.
Strategy. These guys just have good strategy.
Whoever knows how to topple over their best friend the best.

Speaker 1 Like, how do you become a pro in this game?

Speaker 1 I think this is, well, this is what like five, seven-year-old boys do every day. They just, like, what is it? King of the Hill.
Remember, King of the Hill?

Speaker 1 That's all you do is try to hurt each other to get to the top of something. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When you played with your brother as a little kid, didn't you guys try to hurt each other all the time and like see who could best each other at climbing something or getting on top of something?

Speaker 1 Yeah. You did stuff like that, didn't you? Yeah.
You know what I would do? Like, would you ever push your brother down the stairs? Would you guys ever have... Do you have stairs in your house?

Speaker 1 I've pushed my brother down the stairs. Yeah, man.
I've done all kinds of stuff. I used to, he'd sleep.
I put Bengay on his dick. What?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why? It hurts so bad. It burns, huh? Dude.

Speaker 1 I've never had a burn. Oh, my God.
What you have to do, bro? Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is a right for every man. Every man listening right now, right listen up this is if you're a man you will do this right now as we speak what you'll get bengay

Speaker 1 okay you'll go to your bathroom and you'll take a glob of it stick it all over your dick inside the hole of your dick no bob no inside

Speaker 1 the hole that's gonna that will hurt the hole okay but on the outside sure of the head yep you know down your sacks right and just stand there you know what i mean without going inside a shower for about 30 minutes.

Speaker 1 30 minutes. Yeah, and it won't be able to do it.
Guys, send in a video if you're going to do that.

Speaker 1 You're not going to be able to do it.

Speaker 1 But imagine my brother now. He's sleeping.
He's in eighth grade.

Speaker 1 Well, that's a funny thing. So mean.
He's not. That's so mean.
So write a passage. Ben Gay on your brother's penis.

Speaker 1 Maybe you just wanted to feel your brother's penis.

Speaker 1 What if it turns out I didn't have Ben Gay?

Speaker 1 He's like, what are you doing? You're like, I'm rubbing Ben Gay on you. He's like, your hand is dry.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 Good night. Yeah, happy fourth day.

Speaker 1 April Fools. April Fools.

Speaker 1 It's June. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good night. Good night.
Good night. Good night.

Speaker 1 If anybody's going to do that, please send us a video because I do want to see that. Yeah, I used to fucking do all kinds of things with my brother, dude.
You know what I mean? You know what I did?

Speaker 1 The last one I did is I dropped a bunch of acid when I was in eighth grade.

Speaker 1 Eighth grade, you did a bunch of acid? Oh, yeah, I took like

Speaker 1 probably four tabs. Jesus, I thought you did acid in high school.
No,

Speaker 1 in junior high. Yeah, Yeah, yeah.
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 It was in eighth grade and I remember going into my brother's room and just scratching his face. Why? I don't know why.
You were that messed up? Yeah, yeah. I just started scratching his face.

Speaker 1 Was it bleeding? He's like, Bob,

Speaker 1 stop scratching my face.

Speaker 1 You're hurting me.

Speaker 1 How old was he? And I'd be like, yeah?

Speaker 5 You're a fucking creature of the night, my friend.

Speaker 1 How old was your brother? I see eighth grade. I'll be.

Speaker 1 He's my age, right? Fifth grade. Yeah.
Wait, how old is he? How old is your brother? My brother is

Speaker 1 45 years old. No, he's not.
Yeah. He is? Why? He looks so young.
I know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's almost... He's 46.
Like, when I see your younger brother, I think he's so much younger than you because he just has a baby face. Yeah, my brother's only three years younger than me.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. That's crazy.
Because he's just got this, like, innocent face. Also, I think he has an innocent demeanor.
He's such a sweet guy. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Jules, have you ever met my brother? He's a sweetheart. What's my brother's name? Steve.
Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 She looked at me like I was going to tell her no. She was going to say, Steve.

Speaker 1 Tell me I'm wrong. Yeah, my brother

Speaker 1 is, you know, but my brother has always looked like that. Like I just, like when he was 21, he probably couldn't buy booze because they were like, you're not, you're a kid.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but also my brother just is, I think the way he acts in life too, and I'm the same way, I guess, is we're very childish. Yeah, but you're...

Speaker 1 I don't know how anything really works. Same.
No, you do. You have some responsibility.
I meant I don't know how anything works for you.

Speaker 1 Because you'll call me and go. You'll call me and go, yeah, I'm just working on the porch.
Yeah. Or something like that.
I'll be working on something. Yeah, like the ceiling, the roof.

Speaker 1 You know, I'm doing a little thing. I'm like,

Speaker 1 what's going on? Why? What do you think you'd know how to fix around your house?

Speaker 1 Jules, honestly,

Speaker 1 do I know how to fix it? How about this? Could you replace a screen on a window? Do you think I could, Jules?

Speaker 3 Um, I think you could, but it would take like three days.

Speaker 1 You think it would take three days? Yeah, five. Okay, what are this?

Speaker 1 A pipe is leaking onto the sink. What's your first move?

Speaker 1 Let's just do the honest response. Yes.
Wow.

Speaker 5 The fucking pipe's leaking.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I wonder why.
So that's those are the thoughts in my head. And then and then I was supposed to look at it, just kind of analyze where it's leaking

Speaker 1 and just go, okay. And I'll probably take if duct tape

Speaker 1 and just duct tape whatever section. Oh, yeah.
You wouldn't call someone for help? No, I would duct tape it. That's the help.
Well, it would probably work, no?

Speaker 1 I don't. It depends on the leak, but probably not.

Speaker 1 Okay, but then if that doesn't work, then I would go to Kalila and go and be honest and go listen the leak it's leaking i duct taped the sink and it got worse it got worse and she'll yell at me yeah profusely yeah like you fucking moron you're an idiot and all that kind of stuff she says that she says you're an idiot

Speaker 1 does she call you an idiot she doesn't call me idiot but she says things that are um

Speaker 1 she'll say things like um

Speaker 1 you're

Speaker 1 a child you don't know nothing oh yeah something like that and what do you say back i go yeah i know. Yeah.
Yeah. And then I'll just go down and play Warzone.

Speaker 1 Just go downstairs and play your video games now.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You're back.
The other day, I was telling Jules in the car, and I don't know why, but this started a fight.

Speaker 1 I was watching last night, you know, Alone Season 3 with Kalila. No, the new season of the new episode that came out for season 7.
And I had my mouth open. Because when I watch like this,

Speaker 1 I I have my mouth open. Because it's incredible.
Did I smoke so much? No.

Speaker 1 I smoke so much. I think just my mouth just opens.

Speaker 1 Trying to get oxygen in my body.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then she stuck her finger in my mouth. And I felt like there was something in my mouth.
And I go, what was in my mouth? And she giggled. And I go, what are you giggling about?

Speaker 1 She said, I put Bojo's eyebugger in your mouth.

Speaker 1 So Bojo is my youngest cat. Oh, my God.
And I know, I know. And she,

Speaker 1 I know. And he gets these, right, Jules? He gets these thick ass eyebugs.
No, I'm going to throw it. I know.
And they're, they turn black. Jules, right? Back me up.
They turn black.

Speaker 1 So she puts Bojo's eyebugger in my mouth. And you know what? You know, when you have a cat's eyebuger in your mouth,

Speaker 1 there's something, there's a sensation that goes over your body. And I can only turn it to another sensation, which is rage.

Speaker 1 Right? So what I did was I dug in

Speaker 1 my nose because I have so much because I smoke and I sleep with my mouth open.

Speaker 1 I have a booger fest, just deep in the canal. You're the booger king.
I am, aren't I not?

Speaker 1 And I dug in

Speaker 1 a tricolor

Speaker 1 where it's dark yellow and clear or something? Oh, red. Oh,

Speaker 1 that's not good. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. That's bad.
I call it the tricolor. It's yellowish clear.
There's dark portions. Black almost.
Almost black. Yeah.
And streaks of red. Because of blood.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's,

Speaker 1 you know, it's one of those ones with

Speaker 1 a hard tip. Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah.
So it's not slimy, but it's basically you pull out the hard tip of it. And it's soft and tight.
And there's, no, there's like

Speaker 1 yellow and red entrails. It's great.

Speaker 1 And so the hard tip is between my fingernail here. Oh, man.
And the entrails of the fucking booker is coming down like this. Fans are loving this one.
one.

Speaker 1 What did you do with it? Why, why? What did you do with it? Do you think I should stop talking about it? No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 Fans are loving you. I just imagine some guy.

Speaker 1 People tell us, like, I always watch you guys when I'm eating breakfast in the morning, Monday mornings.

Speaker 1 Just fucking stick. Just having some eggs and toast.
I don't care. I don't care.
What did you do with it? I tried to stick it in her mouth. No.
She put a fucking

Speaker 1 cat's eyeburger in my mouth. No? No, no, I know.
I know. I know.
That's just the duality of it. Then what's the proper retaliation? You hit her as hard as you can.
Yeah, I did that. No.

Speaker 1 So she grabs my hand. She blocks you.
Yeah, and it's almost in her mouth, right? And I almost get it in her lip, but then she looks at me and she goes, if that goes into my mouth,

Speaker 1 we're done. Yeah.
I know those ultimatums where it's like, I'm not playing around anymore.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're done. So I stuck it, right?

Speaker 1 So I have this glass on the side of my end table, the table.

Speaker 1 I have this glass

Speaker 1 for my water.

Speaker 1 And I stuck it at the tip of

Speaker 1 God. It's still there now.
Bob. What? But it's your glass.
Yeah, it's my booger. It was already inside my body.
I know, so get it out. Get it away.
No, no, no.

Speaker 1 If I stick it back inside my body, who cares? It's where it belongs.

Speaker 1 What's so animal? No. Yeah.
Boogers are gross to me. Why? I don't know.
I don't know why. Just a yucky.
I don't like that stuff. You've never eaten it?

Speaker 1 Do you eat your boogers?

Speaker 1 Do you really eat your boogers?

Speaker 1 I have.

Speaker 1 When was the last time you ate a booger?

Speaker 1 When was the last time

Speaker 1 you ate a booger?

Speaker 1 You know, it's when was the last time?

Speaker 1 Let me go back, though, for a second. Just give me a second.
I want to answer.

Speaker 1 We will give you an answer. I want to give you a fucking answer.
All right? But I'm going to tell you something.

Speaker 1 There are things in people's lives, private lives, right? What you do in secret, right?

Speaker 1 And you're in your privacy. Booger eating is not a thing that people do in their private lives.

Speaker 1 Private lives is like, I have too many drinks at night by myself.

Speaker 1 There are things people do that, oh, no one's around.

Speaker 1 You look around first. I don't eat, I've never eaten a booger where I haven't done this first, where I looked around.
And what does that mean? You probably shouldn't do it. Maybe.
Right.

Speaker 1 But I don't want anyone to see me.

Speaker 1 It's like if someone says the N-word and they go.

Speaker 1 And they say it. Right.
Because they know they're not supposed to.

Speaker 1 That's the only reason you would look around.

Speaker 1 Mine was just based on embarrassment.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you don't remember it.
You're absolutely justified. When was the last time you did it?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Because I don't eat a booger and go, hmm. So it happens enough.
That was a good one. It happens enough that you don't remember.

Speaker 1 What? It happens enough that you don't remember. It happens often enough that you don't remember.
Oh, in my lifetime, you're asking me? It must happen regularly that you don't remember.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't remember. So, it maybe a couple of days ago? No, not I would have remembered a couple days ago, but maybe a week or two within the month.
Within the month, within the month.

Speaker 1 Have you ever eaten a booger root? No, no, no, never, never. But have you ever pulled out a booger and rolled it for a while? Yeah, I've rolled it for a while.

Speaker 1 So, what would what does a booger taste like to you? I don't know. I've never tasted it.
What do I think it tastes like? Yeah, mucus

Speaker 1 with the flavor, though. What's the flavor? Yeah,

Speaker 1 uh, uh,

Speaker 1 Funyons?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Salty. Okay, funny's very salty.
That's exactly what they are.

Speaker 1 Like onion-y chips. Salty.
You've eaten a booger before, man. No, man.
I roll it.

Speaker 1 You've eaten a fucking booger before. I swear to God, I swear to God, I have never.
That's ridiculous.

Speaker 1 The look of it is gross to me. I've tried everything off of my body.
I mean, I wouldn't even eat like mushrooms until I was, you know, 30. Sperm.

Speaker 1 Never.

Speaker 1 Never. You've never tasted your own sperm.
Nope.

Speaker 1 Nope. Why me either? Yeah, right.
I haven't either.

Speaker 1 I wonder what you've tasted your own sperm. And other people's.

Speaker 1 Yep. Don't be like that.
Is that not true? Don't say it like that. Tell me, is it true? Have I tasted other people's cum? Yeah.
Yes. Okay.

Speaker 1 Bad friends would like to apologize for the preceding segment. Please watch the following clip to heal any trauma this may have caused.

Speaker 1 I've never no never have. Only things I've tasted in body stuff, blood.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Obviously. Obviously, like my own blood.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Pooh.

Speaker 1 Never tasted it. Have you tasted poo? No.

Speaker 1 No way, man. Smelled it, though.
Oh, yeah. When you wipe,

Speaker 1 do you smell it?

Speaker 1 You do, don't you? Don't you? No. You don't?

Speaker 1 No. I can't.
Do you stand up to wipe or do you sit down to wipe? I stand. I'm on my way.
I have things to do. You stand, wipe, go.
I have things to do. I'm on the go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's safe to say you're probably not all the way clean.
Like, you don't ever finish all the way.

Speaker 1 You wipe and go. You don't even think about it if maybe it's.

Speaker 1 No, because I have a tushi at home. My tushi,

Speaker 1 this episode is brought to you by tushi.com.

Speaker 1 Tushi.com.com.com. Do you want, oh,

Speaker 1 okay, I just want, I just want to defend myself real quick before we move on to the next topic. You go ahead.
Wait, no, no, what are you doing right now?

Speaker 1 I'm setting up something for you because I want you to defend yourself for eating your own boogers.

Speaker 1 Okay. What's wrong, Jules? You're ashamed of me?

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 1 That's what that look is right there. Yeah, that was.
Yeah, you know what she was just doing now?

Speaker 1 This is what she did. Why did you do that, Jules?

Speaker 1 This is what Andrew. I look over and she's doing the.

Speaker 1 No, I.

Speaker 1 In that face, she's just like, should I move out?

Speaker 1 Like, who am I living with? Like, she's literally

Speaker 1 in her life. Do you not, do you, do you think, do you, are you sick and tired of living with uh Uncle Tito? No.
Are you? Be honest. I'm not.

Speaker 1 Does that stuff bother you with the booger stuff everywhere?

Speaker 3 No, because I don't see it also.

Speaker 1 So it's fine. Okay, you don't see it.
I do walk around the house in my underwear. Does that bother you? No.
Okay. There's no way it doesn't.

Speaker 3 But he puts like nails everywhere, including

Speaker 3 on my bed.

Speaker 1 What? What do you mean nails on your bed?

Speaker 3 Like, he he eats his nails, and then the remaining part, he puts it on my bed.

Speaker 1 Why do you do that, dude?

Speaker 1 Do you really do that?

Speaker 1 Listen, you fucking little. Wait, wait, you chew your nails and then you put the...

Speaker 1 And you put them on her bed?

Speaker 1 I'll do...

Speaker 1 Listen, you little one.

Speaker 1 What the fuck? Do you really do that? No, listen. Calm down, everybody.
No, no, no. I'm just.
I'm listening. Everyone, just regroup yourself.
Okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 I have, in the past,

Speaker 1 with my nail clippings on my feet

Speaker 1 and my fingernails. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Given her some.

Speaker 1 Put some on her nightstand or on her bed. What does that mean? I do.
It's a gift. Dude, I'm Bobby Lee, dude.
Oh, that's a gift that

Speaker 1 she should feel so lucky. I'm Bobby fucking Lee.

Speaker 1 No, you know what, dude? What, dude? Yeah, I'm going to defend myself. The booger that I eat,

Speaker 1 it's not just regular booger, baby. What is it? It's Bobby Lee Booger.
Bobby Lee Boogers. Next level.
Are you looking for next level boogers?

Speaker 1 Bobby Lee Boogers. All right.
And it's a gift. No, you're welcome.
You're welcome, Jules. You know what?

Speaker 1 I agree with Bob. How about that?

Speaker 1 We've got some friends, some international friends that we haven't talked to in a long time.

Speaker 1 Mad friends around the world. Hey, there's our boys.
Oh,

Speaker 1 by the way, fucking love toys, huh?

Speaker 1 my sweet my sweet boys i'm gonna call you guys white cheeks

Speaker 1 why cheek white cheeks

Speaker 1 here we go with white cheeks hey guys hey the white cheek brothers hey the white cheek kids what's up yeah we miss you where are you guys from again i forget uh amsterdam that's right i remember what time is it there

Speaker 4 um 122 right now yeah yeah in the morning

Speaker 1 yeah yeah are you guys still are you guys in quarantine or or is the netherlands uh I think they're done

Speaker 4 a little bit It's kind of quarantined Yeah, it's like we can do a lot of things, but we have to keep like one and a half meters. That's like

Speaker 1 That's

Speaker 1 no six feet would be two meters. Oh, really? A meter is three feet.

Speaker 1 Why do they get extra inches? No, they don't have extra inches.

Speaker 1 We have less bullying. They have less.
They have less than that. Yeah, I mean less inches.
We're greater than them. Yeah, yeah, we're better than them.

Speaker 1 We're better than them, and you know that we get more distance. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So wait a minute. So Amsterdam, the Netherlands, is

Speaker 1 you guys are almost all done, right?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 1 Is everything open?

Speaker 4 Yeah, everything's open. Yeah, like so.

Speaker 1 You guys are not sitting a meter and a half apart from each other. You're right next to each other.
So, why don't you turn and give each other a kiss to prove us that the Netherlands are done?

Speaker 1 If COVID is really done, why don't you give each other a kiss? Yeah, go ahead. On the lips.
On the lips. There you go.
On the lips, do it. Do it or we don't believe it.
We don't believe it. Andrew,

Speaker 1 we, we, oh, okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 Give him a kiss on the cheek so I can prove that COVID is over.

Speaker 1 Is COVID over? Yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 they solved it.

Speaker 1 They solved it, you guys solved the problem. Now, do you guys have a mask mandate? I mean, do you guys walk around in public with masks on?

Speaker 4 Yeah, but nobody, like, in shops, you don't have to, so nobody does it in the shops, but uh, in public uh transit, yeah, you have to, uh, you have to wear

Speaker 1 right, but but you don't, but okay, so but when you go, like, how about do you guys go to a gym? Is there a gym you guys don't they don't do you guys go to a gym?

Speaker 1 Yeah um when you go do you have to wear a mask?

Speaker 4 Um, no, I don't think so. No, you just need to make an appointment and uh no mask.

Speaker 1 No mask. Did you guys get tested?

Speaker 4 Um, no, I didn't. Nope.

Speaker 1 Nope.

Speaker 1 Did anybody you know get it?

Speaker 4 Yeah, my dad got it.

Speaker 1 Oh

Speaker 1 is he okay?

Speaker 4 Yeah, he is okay. It was like uh pretty false.

Speaker 1 Uh

Speaker 4 uh he didn't have it again. Uh, he didn't have it again.

Speaker 1 And was he did he get really sick or no?

Speaker 4 um like one or two days he he was really sick and after that it was like better like

Speaker 1 did he do anything weird while he was sick did he act differently no no nothing

Speaker 4 it was just like sick and uh he had a fever and but he was he was

Speaker 1 were you worried yeah of course oh yeah yeah but it's like it's i didn't think it was like that bad he because it was only two days two days that's not bad he's like he would walk around with your boner and we thought that was the COVID, but

Speaker 1 that's just my dad. Weird guys.

Speaker 1 Is that a good accent? Does that sound good? It was dead on. My dad would walk with a boner, and he would suck.

Speaker 1 And we thought COVID was the boner reason, but he was just the dad guy, goofy guy. My dad.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is that a good accent? Let's hear Bobby's.

Speaker 1 I cannot even try it.

Speaker 1 Tell me what to say on it. Tell him a phrase to say, and then he'll say it back to you.

Speaker 4 I'm going to the supermarket.

Speaker 1 I'm going to the supermarket. What do you? That's like a robot.

Speaker 1 I'm going to the supermarket.

Speaker 1 It's like a Jim Carrey robot.

Speaker 4 Do you guys think we sound like robots?

Speaker 1 Bobby's impression of you.

Speaker 4 Did we say a phrase in Dutch and then you reply? Oh, yeah, sure. Okay, so we say, um, I'm going to the supermarket.
Okay. Icha nar the supermarket.

Speaker 1 Icha narda nar the supermarket.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Okay.

Speaker 1 No, but you said supermarket normal. Oh, that's great.

Speaker 1 Now, give us a more advanced phrase. Give me a more advanced phrase.
Like, um,

Speaker 1 uh, um,

Speaker 1 why are you leaving mom, dad?

Speaker 4 Valom for like your mama, pop.

Speaker 1 Valom for lack of mama, pop. Volume for like a mama, pop.

Speaker 1 Volume for like a mama, pop. Volume for like a mama pop.
Volume for like a mama, mama pop.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay.

Speaker 4 Yeah, make a song out of it, I guess. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you guys have girlfriends?

Speaker 4 No, not yet. Not yet.

Speaker 1 Good. Oh, girl.
Good. Stay that way.
Peace. How old are they? I forget how old they were.
They're 17 and 16, right?

Speaker 4 No, 17 and 18.

Speaker 1 I'm 18 and 18.

Speaker 1 They're brothers? No.

Speaker 1 They're not brothers. They're best friends.
They're you and me. Best friends.
The one on the left is the Asian guy, and the one on the right looks like me.

Speaker 1 This is you and I in a mirror.

Speaker 1 Who's, by the way, is that a Harvard shirt? Are you wearing a Harvard shirt?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I'm wearing a Harvard shirt.

Speaker 1 Are you, did you get into Harvard?

Speaker 1 No, no, no.

Speaker 4 I wish. No.

Speaker 1 But you're probably smart enough. You seem like really smart boys.
You guys could get into a good school like that, don't you think?

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's.

Speaker 4 No, I don't think Harvard because it costs a lot of money.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's expensive.

Speaker 4 We're going to University next year.

Speaker 1 Would we ever find you guys in L.A.?

Speaker 1 Would you ever come to Los Angeles?

Speaker 4 Yeah, sure. Yeah.
I've been to Los Angeles once. Oh, really?

Speaker 1 How much fun would it be for us to fly these guys out?

Speaker 1 Have a lunch with these guys. When the pandy's over, we should get you guys to LA.
When it's over, let's have a lunch with these two. We would really have that.
That would be awesome.

Speaker 4 But here's the deal.

Speaker 1 We're going to fly you here, but you have to stop five or six times. So we're going to fly you.
You'll stop once in Iceland, then once in

Speaker 1 New York. We'll do it.
We'll do it. Then you're going to go on a donkey for about 50 miles.
50 miles on a donkey in Mexico.

Speaker 1 And then we're going to fly you to Wisconsin where you've got to shovel snow in the winter. Then we'll get you here eventually.
Let me ask you guys another question.

Speaker 1 What other podcasts do you listen to?

Speaker 4 I like all the comedian Joe Rogan.

Speaker 4 I've heard of him. Right now, a lot of Two Bears, One K.

Speaker 1 Don't know what that is. Who's what that? I don't know.

Speaker 4 Never heard of one. It's the one with

Speaker 1 them. They haven't mentioned any of them that I've heard of.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Any other ones that you like?

Speaker 4 I like Tiger Belly.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 With Whiskey Ginger, Whiskey Ginger. Yeah, you're like,

Speaker 1 those are the only two. That's it.
How do you feel about Jules? Yeah, do you guys like Jesus? Just Rudy. You like Rudy?

Speaker 4 Yeah. Comedy? Do you know?

Speaker 1 Just as a person. Yeah, as a person.
Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They both love Rude. Yeah, and you guys are the same age, no?

Speaker 4 We are. I tried it last time, but it didn't work.

Speaker 1 It didn't work. What? She didn't like him.
She didn't like him. Yeah.
Nope. No.

Speaker 1 He said they flirted a little bit and it didn't work.

Speaker 1 I got embarrassed.

Speaker 4 But here's the thing, right?

Speaker 4 Because I think when

Speaker 4 Rudy joined the show, it made the show better.

Speaker 1 Yes, Yes, it did.

Speaker 4 Bad friends became way better.

Speaker 1 Bad friends became better with Rudy. Isn't that so nice?

Speaker 1 Rude. Look at her.
The boys can't see you because they're facing this way.

Speaker 1 Isn't that so nice? Isn't that nice? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Say something that

Speaker 1 thank you to the boys.

Speaker 3 Thank you.

Speaker 1 That was such a parent that was like, go thank them right now.

Speaker 1 She's a sweet girl. We love her.

Speaker 4 But also, also, Andreas.

Speaker 1 Andreas. Yeah.
We like Andreas. We love Andreas.
We love Andreas. So, what does that that mean? You hate George? Is that what it is?

Speaker 1 Well, he's your least favorite. He's your least favorite.
He's favorite.

Speaker 4 Well, I've never heard him on the podcast doing something. Well, no, we

Speaker 1 try to put him in the corner.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we try to put him in a corner. So you love Andres.

Speaker 1 How about this? Bobby and I go back and forth over what segment Andres should do.

Speaker 1 What would you like to see Andres do? What would be your favorite thing to watch him do other than read the news or jokes?

Speaker 1 What would you like to see him do?

Speaker 1 maybe a sketch some kind of sketch oh you want to write a sketch for him yeah

Speaker 1 okay that's really funny we're gonna make andreas do a sketch that we write we should be in the sketch as well though i just think it'd be what we gotta push rudy to have some lines as well that's true

Speaker 1 so if we did a sketch like uh you guys emailed me a sketch that you want me to read i know i have it right here you guys told me oh you guys wrote a sketch they did they emailed it to me it's right here in front of me oh it says we'd like to see andreas do blackface

Speaker 1 That's what you guys said.

Speaker 1 So I guess

Speaker 1 we want to oblige. Yeah.
So Andres, who can hear us right now, he's listening. He's going to have to do a sketch in Blackface, and that's what the fans want.

Speaker 1 Don't you think that's what our fans and our friends want? Yes.

Speaker 4 So we want that. We'll have him do that.

Speaker 1 We'll have him do that. What's been going on for the rest of the summer, you guys? Do you have any plans or has COVID just made it so you can't really do much?

Speaker 4 I've enjoyed myself, but it kind of sucks.

Speaker 1 It kind of sucks. You can't travel anywhere.
Listen, we're all affected by this, guys. We're all

Speaker 1 really bummed about this. It's a bizarre

Speaker 1 world we live in right now. It stinks, and we just have to take up day by day.
And you know what? Nothing is forever, and it's going to change. And we will get back to our normal lives.

Speaker 1 We'll be back to square one. We will be.
Do you guys want to ask anything before we let the jet set? You guys want to say anything just to say

Speaker 1 you want to promote? Yeah.

Speaker 4 We had a question.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 So there was this episode on Tiger Belly where you guys talked about a special podcast episode that you two

Speaker 4 recorded with each other and it never got released.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 So we still have that.

Speaker 4 So do you guys have anything?

Speaker 4 Anything of context about that you can tell us? Well, okay.

Speaker 1 Anything about that?

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 I'm going to just say this.

Speaker 1 If we release that podcast,

Speaker 1 him and our careers would be over.

Speaker 1 We see that. See, we would be canceled forever.
It's far worse than anything that you've ever heard. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And we just say a lot of bad stuff because

Speaker 1 we were jumping on each other. Yeah.
And we were angry at each other like we always are. But then we said, let's just do one.

Speaker 1 Let's just keep going, but we're never going to, no one's ever going to hear it. Let's just say whatever we want to say.
And we did. So we say things that

Speaker 1 are so evil and so bad. They're very bad.
Very bad. You'll never hear it.
You'll never hear it. One day, how about this? One day.
One day when I die.

Speaker 1 One day when Bobby's dying and I'm laying dying next to him. We will release it.

Speaker 1 We'll release it, but we'll sell it for charity money and all the money will go to our favorite charity and it'll release right as we're dead.

Speaker 1 So that it'll take care of it. By that time, it won't be that big of a deal.
The world will have changed so much. Listen, boys, I'll never forget you again.

Speaker 1 And if you guys visit us again, I love you guys so much, okay? Thank you guys for staying staying up to be on the show the cheeks we love

Speaker 1 the white cheeks ladies and gentlemen the white cheeks

Speaker 1 yeah bye guys

Speaker 1 they are the best we love those fucking dudes man these boys are very European they're they're cute boys they're cute boys

Speaker 1 they're cute boys you don't like them I like anime

Speaker 1 she likes anime she needs therapy I like anime yeah she needs therapy wow you really do you don't like real people only Harry Styles Yeah, I get that. He's cute.
He's a cutie patootie.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I really like him. It's funny because, you know, I'm on that game show and Ben Winston.
Yeah, Ben's a good looking guy. Oh, Ben also discovered Harry Styles.
Did he?

Speaker 1 Yeah, because he used to be the producer of X Factor.

Speaker 1 Is it like American Idol? That's the same thing. X Factor was before American Idol.
It was? Right. And One Direction was discovered on X Factor.

Speaker 1 So Harry Styles auditioned. I didn't know that.
Yeah, he was on the show, X Factor. Wow.
And

Speaker 1 Simon Cowell brought one direction together, right? Yeah, right. He produced them earlier.
No, he produced X Factor with Ben Winston.

Speaker 1 And then they discovered. So Ben Winston and Harry Styles are almost best friends.
So can we hang out?

Speaker 1 Well, if they do another second season, I think I'll be comfortable enough if, even though

Speaker 1 when the pandemic is over, I think there will be a chance where I can call somebody and go, can we get backstage passes or something? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Meet and greet. Yeah, so that Jules can meet him.
How nice is that? How nice is that? What do you have to say? What if he's rude, though? Would you be, it will disappoint you?

Speaker 1 Here, here, I'm Harry Styles, and you guys just came backstage. Ready? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey. Hey, what's up, Dan?

Speaker 1 Hello, hello.

Speaker 1 Big fan. Big fan.
Oh, yeah, thanks. Sure.
Yeah. No doubt.
This is my niece, Jules. She's a really big fan.
Hey, what's up, Jules?

Speaker 1 What's up?

Speaker 3 Hi, I really like you. And um, can I get a hug?

Speaker 1 Uh, security!

Speaker 6 Hey, what's up?

Speaker 1 Hey!

Speaker 1 It's Oscar! Oscar!

Speaker 1 Wait, he's from what? Let me guess where he's from. You don't remember where he's from? I do.
I kind of vaguely know. He's Irish?

Speaker 1 Is he Irish? Yeah, he's Irish. No, he's wait.
Let me give you a sec. He's from New Zealand.
Yep. Where are you from?

Speaker 6 I'm from Sweden.

Speaker 1 Pretty close. So close.
New Zealand, Sweden. What's the difference? Sweden, though.
New Zealand. Sweden? So you have Ireland? Yeah.
New Zealand. Not even.
Right? Yeah, no. Sweden's right there.

Speaker 1 So Ireland? Yeah.

Speaker 1 New Zealand. Yeah.
Underneath the Earth. Yeah.
Sweden is right there. Over here.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's not. Yeah, not even close.
Oh, fuck. My bad.
That's almost. Yeah, that's bad.
That's very far. That was probably the worst guess I could have.
That's fine. It's fine.
What's up, bud?

Speaker 1 What's up, dude?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I'm good. I'm good.
Can't complain. How about you guys? We're good.

Speaker 1 You look more jacked than normal. Last time we commented how jacked this dude was.
Have you been working out more?

Speaker 6 Not really, actually. I've been just sleeking around.
But thank you. No, let me.

Speaker 1 Wait, did you say sleezing around?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Cool word. He's a little fucking machine, isn't it? Look at that fucking machine.
Flex both of your arms real quick so we can see where you're at.

Speaker 1 Let's flex them. Yep.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 There he is. There he is.

Speaker 1 Whoa, he did the fucking turn to the sky. Yeah, because he's in.

Speaker 1 He knows. Do the hair thing.
Do the hair thing. Do the hair thing.
Do the hair thing. Do the hair thing.
There you go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, baby.

Speaker 1 Hey, so in Sweden, are you guys in quarantine still? I don't know. I don't know what's going on over there.

Speaker 6 Well, I'm not in Sweden right now because I'm in Japan. I live in Japan.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's right.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Which is closer to

Speaker 1 Australia. And New Zealand.

Speaker 1 There you go. So you very good, right? So in Japan, they're very stringent, right, in terms of the rules?

Speaker 6 No, I think Japan is pretty lax compared to other countries.

Speaker 1 Oh, really?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Are you wearing a mask outside?

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah, I do. I do.
Because it's like

Speaker 6 everyone does it. So if you don't have a mask, people will look at you like, hey, you're trying to kill people.

Speaker 6 I'm not trying to kill people. So

Speaker 1 I just have a mask.

Speaker 1 His fucking room, too, looks very Japanese.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it does look very Japanese. Can we see around? It's like fucking the grudge.
Oh, wow. That place is cool.
Fuck.

Speaker 6 I have nightmares about this place. Have you seen the boat?

Speaker 1 There's a little fucking white-faced boy up there. You know what I mean? Going,

Speaker 1 yeah, yeah. Wait, wait.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 1 Can we see out the window? Is there a window right there? Yeah.

Speaker 6 Yeah, not much to see.

Speaker 1 What time is it there?

Speaker 1 In the morning. Oh, look at that view.
What a beautiful view. Nice.
Look at the park garden and the temple. You can see the temple from your view.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey, now that the window's open, yell out there, yell out. Everybody watch Bad Friends.
Just give us a...

Speaker 1 Everybody watch Bad Friends.

Speaker 1 Oscar,

Speaker 1 do you have any fluency level of Japanese or no? Do you not speak it at all?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I speak.

Speaker 6 I can survive for sure.

Speaker 1 You can? Oh, wow. And let me ask you something.
You're there as an... Is he an animator? Is that why he's animated?

Speaker 1 He's anime. He is anime.
Are you an artist out there? What do you do for work out there again?

Speaker 6 Well, I am anime, but also I teach English and I go to a Japanese language school.

Speaker 1 But his ultimate goal, remember? You remember his ultimate goal? Yeah. To do anime.
Is to be an anime.

Speaker 1 Animator. Animator.
Animator. And

Speaker 1 are you attracted to Asian women?

Speaker 6 I love Asian women. I love all women, but Asian women are pretty legit.

Speaker 1 What a good phrase. Very good phrase.
Yeah, pretty legit. Pretty legit.
You should just be a fucking superhero. You have all of the markings of a superhero.
You have great phrasing.

Speaker 1 Your accent's good. You got a nice...
Look at that fucking jawline. You could cut wood with that thing.
Yeah. I don't know why you don't get into it.
Have you ever tried to be an actor?

Speaker 1 You could be the next action hero star. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Sure. Can I try something with you?

Speaker 1 Give me a scene. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's do it.

Speaker 1 Help me. Help me.
I'm I'm never going to let this broad go. What are you going to do about it, tough guy?

Speaker 6 Is she aged then?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you could see she's aging. Look at her face.

Speaker 1 Stop. Don't break this scene.

Speaker 1 I'll kill her right now. Back up.
You're going to kill me with a gun. Back up and get me the money or I'll kill the girl.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 I will attack you. I will help you.

Speaker 6 Very much.

Speaker 1 Where are you going? I'm out of here. That guy scares me.

Speaker 1 You did it. You did it.
Really good movie. Man, that was really, really good.
Really good action scene.

Speaker 1 We could get you in something. I feel like we could get him in something.
Oh, so if we write our sketch, we should include him. We got to include Oscar in it, right? Well,

Speaker 1 we are going to do a movie one day, Andrew and I. We should.
And we will have you in the movie, maybe. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Oh, thank you very much.

Speaker 1 I will absolutely be a villain, though, for sure. Yeah, 100.
Yeah. Yeah, because we said that before.
He looked like Vigo Mortensen. Look at that forehead.
Vigo? Yeah, Vigo.

Speaker 1 You have a beautiful forehead. Yeah, you do.
It's big. Thanks, Bobby.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Oscar, what's been going on on your schedule? Tell us what the life is like right now in Japan in the summer of COVID.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 6 not much has been going on in my life. I'm studying.
I'm doing my work. Just trying to do the best I can every single day.

Speaker 6 Bars are still open, but not as lively as they used to be.

Speaker 1 Do you get depressed?

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah, I've been depressed all my life.

Speaker 1 Oh, you seem like

Speaker 1 I have a bond with you because I, too, have been depressed all my life. What are you depressed about, do you think? Well, I think the lack of color in that room is a dead giveaway.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We should throw something up on those walls, Oscar. Can we get you some, can we send you something to throw up on that wall? If me and Bobby send a picture of us, will you put it on your wall?

Speaker 1 I will.

Speaker 6 I will very much appreciate it.

Speaker 1 Hey, we're taking a photo and we're going to give it to him of us, and we'll sign it. Say,

Speaker 1 thinking about you, Oscar. Okay.
We don't want anything to happen to you. We love you.
We love you. We got to get you some.
We want you to smile because

Speaker 1 you're a great dude. We love you.
See that smile? There it is. That's what I was hoping for.
Oski, Oscar. Thank you.
My buddy.

Speaker 1 What are some things that you need we can improve on in our podcast?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Tell us.

Speaker 6 Improve on?

Speaker 6 Like, that's a good question.

Speaker 1 I think you're doing very well.

Speaker 6 Thank you. Because

Speaker 6 you have this dynamic. Like, Bobby is,

Speaker 6 of course, Bobby. And Andrew,

Speaker 6 you don't fall into Bobby's games. You have your own opinions and you play with each other.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 6 sometimes you go very hard at each other with your own opinions. Yeah.
And it just keeps going. But that's enjoyment for me.

Speaker 1 So I like it. I love it, Oscar.
You know, my honest truth:

Speaker 1 I woke up the other day and I was like, do I love or hate andrew

Speaker 1 there really is that no honestly there really is that question sometimes i fucking

Speaker 1 hate you right yeah but i think at the end of the day if you died it would really devastate me so that's how i know i love you thanks oh that's a good point i

Speaker 1 i don't

Speaker 1 I don't have any more love in my heart to give to you than I already have done. So at this point, I am,

Speaker 1 I feel like I'm your stepdad.

Speaker 1 I love you and I know I love you, but it's hard for me to show it because I want to fucking kill you most of the time. That's how I feel about you.
Okay. Thank you.
Then we're good.

Speaker 1 That's how I feel about him.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 Oscar, you're the glue that binds us. But I know the movie.
The movie is you and I are a gay couple. Of course.
Right?

Speaker 1 And we adopted him. You know what I mean? From Sweden, but he was like 17.
And we live in Japan. We live in Japan.
And it's just us two, you know what I mean? Yes. Stubborn gay lovers.
We three guys.

Speaker 1 And our son. And our son.
Yeah. And our beautiful son, Oscar.

Speaker 1 Our son, Oscar. And we're in Japan.
And you are, of course,

Speaker 1 an engineer of some kind. An eventriloquist.
An event triloquist.

Speaker 1 And I am a

Speaker 1 street vendor. I sell food in Japan.
What's your favorite street vendor food in Japan?

Speaker 6 Street vendor food.

Speaker 1 Like, what do you get out of Huh?

Speaker 6 So I like seafood. They're very nice, fresh seafood.
Okay.

Speaker 1 In the markets.

Speaker 1 I work in the fish market. Or maybe you have a low-grade sushi stand.
Right. It's the old fish.
It's old fish. I have all the old.
It's called old fish. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 My market's called old fish. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What you do is you get your fish from all the other sushi restaurants that are that they throw out their fish out. Yeah,

Speaker 1 when the guys, like when

Speaker 1 Hero is like, no good. And I'm like,

Speaker 1 I just take it with me and I go.

Speaker 1 Do you ever see that?

Speaker 1 Do we ever talk about that? That documentary? Hero Dreams of Sushi. Have you ever seen that documentary? Hero Dreams of Sushi?

Speaker 6 No, I haven't seen it. I've heard about it.

Speaker 1 You should go visit him. You should go.

Speaker 1 They're in the bottom of one of the train stations. I forget which one.
Yeah, it took,

Speaker 1 you need a four-month reservation to get there. Yeah, but look at how cool he is.
Oscar. You knew who went there? Andrew Schultz.
Yeah, I know, I know. He told me that.
He hated it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he said it wasn't that good, but

Speaker 1 nothing was going to live up to the hype. You know?

Speaker 1 What did you do in Japan when you first got there that you thought was going to be great, but it turned out to be not worth the hype? Did you do anything like that when you moved there?

Speaker 1 What have we got? The rice.

Speaker 6 Rice is good. Rice is good.

Speaker 6 Everything's been good in Japan so far. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I mean, you know, people when they talk about when AI gets sentient.

Speaker 6 Like, what happens? Like, ultimate intelligence gets emotions.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Japan.
Japan. Japan.
It'll be Japan. Japan's the best.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think when the singularity happens and machine has consciousness,

Speaker 1 I think Japan will be the first

Speaker 1 country that will be taken over by machine.

Speaker 1 But, see, taking over sounds negative. I bet you they'll be immersed with machinery working as well.
There's going to be a war. In our country.
We will have a war.

Speaker 1 I think in America we'll have a machine war. I think over there in Japan, they'll have figured it out.
Yep, the machines will all be connected. It'll be man versus machine.
There's no division.

Speaker 1 They're not like, we're Japanese robots. We're cool.
Yeah, there are other Japanese robots.

Speaker 1 What I'm just saying is that

Speaker 1 they're going to all be connected through the internet. They're all going to think the same.
That's not true. And you go to Japan.
Does a dog speak English or Japanese?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Japanese, Japanese dog.
That's right. Japanese dog.
Yeah, they bark different. Yeah.
Hotook! Harunk!

Speaker 1 Hoto!

Speaker 1 Right, they do bark different.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And the cats go,

Speaker 1 yeah, you're right. Oscar, we love you to death.
And I want you to keep being happy and smiling because we like you more like this. If you ever get bummed out, you let us know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, do not harm yourself ever. And do you have a girlfriend now or no?

Speaker 6 No, not right now. I'm just dating a girl though.

Speaker 1 Can you tell us anything or what?

Speaker 6 Yeah, everything.

Speaker 6 She's Filipina, you know, buddy.

Speaker 1 The wink.

Speaker 1 Does she live in Japan? Very.

Speaker 6 She lives in Japan, but she's from the Philippines originally.

Speaker 1 Right on.

Speaker 6 She's very great.

Speaker 1 She's very nice. She's very great, he said.
What does she do? What does she do, Oscar?

Speaker 6 She's also a teacher.

Speaker 1 Okay. You met at work?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Awesome.
And what do you guys are doing for fun? Are you guys going on dates?

Speaker 1 Can you go out on dates?

Speaker 1 Is restaurants all open there or no?

Speaker 6 Yeah, we have a lot of places open.

Speaker 6 We go to restaurants, drink coffee. Mostly we just like talk.

Speaker 1 You know what's incredible to me is that our friend here lives in Japan. He's from Sweden, and he still, for some reason, listens to bad friends.
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 I know, but it's just such a weird idea to me. You mean it's just like hard to think it's real? Yeah.
I mean, it feels good to me that he likes us. Yeah.
But it's just almost unfathomable in my mind.

Speaker 1 I can tell you

Speaker 1 start fathoming it because Oscar is our lifelong friend really nice. It makes me feel warm-hearted.
Thank you.

Speaker 6 Yeah, me, absolutely, me too. And I appreciate you guys.
And Bobby, I've been listening to you since

Speaker 6 like Opie and Anthony. Oh, wow, back in the DAC,

Speaker 1 long time ago, long time ago.

Speaker 6 And all you've been doing, like, all this, all the success you have right now. It, like, it makes me genuinely feel very good.
And I'm so happy for you.

Speaker 1 Isn't that nice?

Speaker 6 It really feels like

Speaker 6 a friend.

Speaker 6 You're my friend too. You're my friend.

Speaker 1 You're my friend, dude. Thank you.
It is kind of cool to see him ascend in his career. And you know what the most remarkable thing is, honestly, more than anything?

Speaker 1 And I mean this, he deserves almost none of it. And

Speaker 1 it is cool to watch. He's crying.
He's crying. Oscar, do you see he's crying?

Speaker 1 All right, sign off and say goodbye. Oscar, do you want to say anything else?

Speaker 1 Hey, enough. Do you want to say anything else or do you want to ask a question, Oscar? You have anything else before we sign off? I get emotional.
Fuck you. Lie.

Speaker 6 No, I'm too nervous to think of anything.

Speaker 1 We love you, buddy. Oh, we love you, Oscar.
You're the best, buddy. Look at Bobby's showing his boobs for you.
Show your boobs there for Oscar. There you go.
Bye, buddy. Bye, buddy.
I love you.

Speaker 1 Bye, buddy. Bye, buddy.
He's great. I really did get emotional.
That was not a fucking lie.

Speaker 1 But you fucking

Speaker 1 fake it down. You faked it.
So you might have got emotional after the fact, but you faked it at the beginning. Look at at that.
You faked it at the beginning.

Speaker 1 You faked it at the beginning.

Speaker 1 She knows. Did he fake it at the beginning?

Speaker 3 I don't know. See?

Speaker 1 I know, but you can do that at any point in time because you're holding in so many emotions. You can make yourself cry over anything.

Speaker 1 I think I want the Swedish guy to date Rudy.

Speaker 1 The Swedish guy?

Speaker 1 He's like our age. Oh, he is? Yes.

Speaker 1 No, he's a creative. I thought he was in her early 20s.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he's not.
He's in his early 20s.

Speaker 1 You said he was cute.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but I didn't say.

Speaker 1 You would date him? Yeah.

Speaker 1 He looks more mature, for sure. How old does he look to you?

Speaker 3 25.

Speaker 1 I would say 28, 35.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 No, but let's, hey.

Speaker 1 Let's make it happen.

Speaker 1 It's funny because, you know,

Speaker 1 I feel like I'm Rudy's dad, American dad. I'm sure.

Speaker 1 No, there is a feeling of that. No, I don't disagree.
Yeah, and I, for some reason, want her, I don't want her to, like, go to school and come back and go,

Speaker 1 I have a, I have a new boyfriend. And it's some fucking dirtbag.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but she's. I want to be able to see, you know what I mean? I want to be able to go, yeah, or no.
First of all, she's out in a year.

Speaker 1 She's going to go to school somewhere, and she's not going to bring home a boyfriend to you.

Speaker 1 She's never going to tell you. Are you? Are you going to tell him?

Speaker 3 Um,

Speaker 3 if it's like serious, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's family. You think she's going to get serious with a boy soon? No, she's focused on school and life and things she cares about.
Anime and hairy styles. Ding dong, the country's gone.

Speaker 1 Let's go. Woo!

Speaker 1 Ding dong, the country's gone.

Speaker 1 We're locked down, can't go out, can't go out to eat with friends because people won't wear masks. So we have to stay at home.
Ding dong, country's gone. Rip your cheeks off with my fucking fingers.

Speaker 1 Rip my cheeks off? Yeah. Rip my cheeks off with your dirty little fingernails.
I wish you would wash them more, then you could rip my cheeks.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I like that.
You really, really do irritate me, though. You irritate me.
You get me so angry and rageful. And

Speaker 1 it's like I've known you. Hold on.
Is that music? Oh, are you cleaning a knife?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What is that for?

Speaker 3 I just bought it. Brought it.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 3 i just brought it at home

Speaker 1 you brought that knife yeah here

Speaker 1 i asked ate kalila if like i can play with it and like maybe decor decorate it here and she said yeah wait wait whose knife is that i've never seen that knife before in my life no i bought it at home and then i brought it here you bought it in the mail yeah and you brought it here yeah on amazon holy you brought that

Speaker 1 and and what is that knife for?

Speaker 3 I thought that I could play with it, but then

Speaker 3 I thought also that I could decorate my table.

Speaker 1 Oh, you want to decorate your table with a fucking

Speaker 1 holding on hunting knife? That's your station. You're allowed to do whatever you want to your station.

Speaker 1 This is really weird because I did not see. Dude, I heard a sing sing, and I'm thinking it's music.

Speaker 1 No. No, I'm serious.
I heard sing sing, and I'm thinking, oh, someone's got music on in their headphones. No.
But she's cleaning the knife. Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's kind of rusty.

Speaker 1 Did you know this was? You brought this. You saw her bring this in.

Speaker 1 I swear to God, on my mother's life, that I did not see her bring that into the car.

Speaker 3 No, I did. You remember when we

Speaker 3 got out?

Speaker 3 I grabbed my hand at the back.

Speaker 1 Is there a sleeve that it goes in? Is there like a leather pouch?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I think you cleaned it enough.
Stick it back in the pouch. Can I see it? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Holy shit.

Speaker 1 This This has the dried blood of soldiers on it. Look at that.
That's the dried blood of men. Yeah.
Where did you buy this, Rude?

Speaker 3 Amazon.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but like from

Speaker 1 just like a guy? Um, yeah.

Speaker 1 Is it handmade?

Speaker 3 I don't I don't know, but it was like $25.

Speaker 1 Do you want to cut something? That's all it was, is $25?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's fine. Let me see.
Do you want to cut? Should I cut this as hard as I can? No. Why? Can I hold on to it? God, I don't trust you with it so much.
Give me the fucking knife. Say please.

Speaker 1 Please. Fuck no.

Speaker 1 Jagoff. You're a child.
I'm giving you a fucking weapon. I'm giving you a weapon? Really? I don't have Amazon.
I can't get a knife as fuck. Then get a knife and bring one yourself.
I will.

Speaker 1 I'm going to bring other things as well. Okay.

Speaker 1 Give me the knife. Put your hand out real fast.
Let me do the knife game. You know the knife game? All right, do it.
See what happens. Okay.
Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Put it more in the middle. I can't do it.
All right, ready?

Speaker 1 Oh man, this is so fucking.

Speaker 1 Yeah!

Speaker 1 Let me do yours now? No, because you'll stab me on purpose as a bit.

Speaker 1 No, you're gonna do it as a bit. I'm not gonna do it.
Why would I stab you as a bit? I wouldn't do it. Because you would do it and then you'd go, oh my god, I was just kidding.

Speaker 1 Yes, you were.

Speaker 1 What? You have no trust with me. Uh-huh.
Yeah, put your fucking hand down or I'm leaving. That's not fair.
If you stab my fucking hand,

Speaker 1 I'm dead serious. Yeah.
I'm going to fucking beat the shit out of you.

Speaker 1 You don't think that that's going to be a fair. Yeah.
Be a man, dude. Slow.

Speaker 1 you go.

Speaker 1 No, no, go faster.

Speaker 1 Ah, fuck this shit.

Speaker 1 Rudy, Rudy, Rudy. Why do you have scary? Do you have that?

Speaker 3 I thought, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Get close to the mic.

Speaker 1 Rudy, get close to the master. This is important.
You thought what?

Speaker 3 I thought that I could decorate.

Speaker 1 I know, but... Yeah, but you get candles and, you know,

Speaker 1 and photographs. That's what people use in America.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but then everyone's like saying that I'm Rudy with a knife.

Speaker 1 You are Rudy with a knife. Yeah, because you had one dream, but that doesn't make you who you are.
Because you had a dream.

Speaker 3 But it's also nice.

Speaker 1 She does like knives. She does like knives.
Oh, my God. She's a spooky girl.
Wait a minute. Can I just say something? At five in the morning, I'll just go out to get a water.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And she's just kind of with her hair over her face wandering around the house. Do you do that to freak him out or just...

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 1 I usually just do that. You just walk around?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I don't... Rudy, leave leave the knife out if you...
Do you want it on the wall?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, we'll do it after the show. I'll put it in the water.
So you should wander around the house.

Speaker 1 She wanders around the house at five in the morning and just you go, hey, Jewel, Jewel, Juliana, and nothing.

Speaker 1 Why don't you respond, Rude?

Speaker 3 Um, sometimes I don't hear him.

Speaker 1 Do you not want to hear him or do you genuinely not hear him?

Speaker 3 No, I don't. I don't hear him.
And that's why he gets mad that I don't say, good morning to Bobby.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You get mad because maybe she doesn't hear you.
No, there's something going on. She's probably spaced out.
She has those, like, I'm about to snap eyes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, like when she tells me, when she tells me,

Speaker 1 and she has to learn how to do this better.

Speaker 1 But take out the trash.

Speaker 1 We asked last time, and you said it really nice. No, but she does it like this.

Speaker 1 Tito Bobby, take out the trash. Take out the trash.

Speaker 1 As if, if I don't, there are consequences.

Speaker 1 And I don't know what those are. Witch Filipino witchcraft? They do that.
Voodoo? They have that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And she likes to eat old food. Like leftovers.
Yeah. Leftovers.
No, but real old. Like it's been in there for a while.
Like four week, five week old fucking sandwiches and shit.

Speaker 3 You don't get sick from that? Just one week, not four weeks.

Speaker 1 One week is not that. That's been something that's been up for weeks and weeks.
Rudy, have you bought more than one knife on the internet so far?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I have three more in the house.

Speaker 1 Do you know that? Do you seriously not know that she has three knives at the house? No, no. Are they that size?

Speaker 3 There's one that's bigger, and then there's another one that's like just small.

Speaker 1 You've created a monster, dude. The Rudy with the knife thing took off, and now she's got knives.

Speaker 1 This is how it starts. You know, this is how those shows start.

Speaker 1 She'll go like this, too. Uncle Tito, Tito Babby, look.
And she'll look. And there'll be like someone will draw a photo of her with a knife.

Speaker 1 But she'll look like almost as as if, this is who I am. I mean, do you love knives?

Speaker 1 This is who I am. She does like knives.
But what do you love about the knife? What do you love about ordering these knives that makes you feel good? Is it protection?

Speaker 3 No, I like the style, but then it's also because of anime.

Speaker 1 Anime, always, they have a lot of knives and swords. You know, honestly, this anime thing,

Speaker 1 because this is a god-honest truth. Every time I walk by her room, and she leaves it cracked open.
She wants you to know. And she just has has her big jungle feet.
She has big feet, by the way.

Speaker 1 I know. And she'll just be there, and she'll just be watching anime 24 hours a day.

Speaker 1 Just

Speaker 1 like, just watching. And every once in a while, I'll look through and she'll look at me like this.

Speaker 1 And she'll go back to the anime. She is, there's something wrong.
Yeah, but I think it's a good thing. She's finding a new hobby.
She's not on drugs. Yeah, not on drugs.

Speaker 1 She doesn't run around with loser dudes. She doesn't hang out with loser dudes.
But she is going to get her license, right? yeah

Speaker 1 are you yeah we're gonna get her driver's license can we film her getting her driver's test oh yeah that'd be great will you do that can we film you driving is that um possible yeah we could put a gopro in the car

Speaker 1 the cameras yeah we can do all that stuff yeah are you down yeah let's do jules takes us for a drive yeah will you get in the car can you and i get in the car with her or no never why did you have you driven before ever um in the philippines never once here in the united states no why don't you drive home you want to drive home no please yeah please drive home.

Speaker 1 Please,

Speaker 1 please. It's so easy.
It's so easy. Put your foot on the gas and let it go, go, go.
And as soon as something gets in the way, hit it.

Speaker 1 You're going to drive home?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Let her drive. Seriously, will you do it?

Speaker 3 Auntie Kalila is going to get mad.

Speaker 1 She won't even know. Yeah, Auntie Kalila is the ruler of the house.

Speaker 1 Julio of the house. Maker of the.
Why? Why can't. What if you didn't tell her?

Speaker 3 But what if we get into an accident?

Speaker 1 Then,

Speaker 1 well, but then? But then. We switch seats, you switch seats, right? And the cop will go.
I'm the one that ran over the family, the entire family. There were seven people that you ran over.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. All right, well, Rudy, really, really, we're going to talk about the knife thing.
We're going to talk about the knife thing off camera.

Speaker 1 I honestly am freaked out that I wasn't able to notice that she brought the fucking knife into the fucking car. I'm beginning to think the knife was already here.
No, no, it was not here.

Speaker 1 I was here earlier and there was nothing on the floor.

Speaker 1 You brought that in. You look at me right now.

Speaker 1 Okay, look at me right now. Yes.
No, yes, what?

Speaker 1 Tito Bobby. Okay, Tito Bobby.

Speaker 1 You promised me that you brought that knife into my Prius and brought it here to the studio.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 1 And if I find out that you're lying, I'm going to put a booger in your mouth.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Okay. I'm a man of my word.

Speaker 1 He is. Okay.
All right, come here. For this, here's what I want you to do.
Take your headphones off and walk back here with your knife and get between us and let's sign off together. Okay?

Speaker 1 Because last time she didn't sign off.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and I saw the video. It was only me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because we caught you not signing off. So I want to see it with us right here because that's part of the game.
Or we'll cut to just you. We're a team.

Speaker 1 Yes, you either come with us or you're,

Speaker 1 yeah. See, there we go.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Go near Tito with that knife. Holy fucking shit, dude.
She is going to fucking kill you guys.

Speaker 1 100%.

Speaker 1 Okay, so there we go. Now look right in the center camera.
One, two, three. Thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 I didn't hear you. I didn't hear her either.
I did. Louder.
Do it on your own. On your own.
Do it on your own. Ready? Yeah.
One, two, three.

Speaker 3 Thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 Go ahead.

Speaker 1 That knife is so legit. You're careless with your eyebrows.
You don't trim them. You let them go go crazy.
What is it? Busy organizing his shit! Amazing. On this day of history.

Speaker 1 He just won with me. Oh, he's just chomping into your video game?

Speaker 1 I'm leaving. Stop.
Andreas, here's Bobby. Bobby, tell him.
Bobby, you tell him to go fuck himself. You fucking son of a bitch.

Speaker 1 I swear to fucking God, dude. All right.
I put you on the podcast map. You're dead, Andres.
Andreas, log off. You guys log off.
No, don't log off. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I like your shirt.