Get Out of This World!

Speaker 1 You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 You two are something. We're bad friends.
Kalila does it, you do it. You guys talk to me like I'm a child.
Close the door. Put away your drinks.
Clean up your mess.

Speaker 1 You know, stop defarting.

Speaker 1 I talk to you like you're a kid. No, you always do.
Like, what, you brought that? You brought that cigarette in, you bring it in. Yeah, there's a stomped out cigarette on the carpet.

Speaker 1 I stomped out a cigarette outside.

Speaker 1 It's stuck to my shoe. I happened to walk in, and now it, ta-da!

Speaker 1 So Kalila does it, and I do it? You guys, everyone does that in my life, and I'm tired of it. I'm an old adult man who drags in cigarettes on honestly.
Yeah, but it was an accident.

Speaker 1 I know, so just go, oh, it was an accident. I didn't know.

Speaker 1 But just don't talk to me like that first and go. What did I say? I said, did you drag? Did you? Did you? Did I go, did you drag in the cigarette?

Speaker 1 I know you didn't, but there was like that. I filled in the blanks.
I said, did you drag in a cigarette? Is this from outside? What is this? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Or, or if I. I have to say that.
If you had done that, if you had done that, I would have been like,

Speaker 1 oh, you just dragged in a cigarette. I have to say it because

Speaker 1 I know I'll clean it up. And I have to like make a bitch.
See?

Speaker 1 So I am going to keep talking to you like that because you talk to me like that. Oh, that's true.
You fucking talk like that.

Speaker 1 It comes from me. I know.
That's true. All right, Bobby, Bobby, right away.

Speaker 1 Bobby did a sleep.

Speaker 1 I slept for

Speaker 1 maybe 3.2 hours, man.

Speaker 1 I got to bed around 6 in the morning. You know what? I've been watching a lot of horror movies on Shudder.
What? Really? Yeah, I saw this one called Neroy. Oh, fuck.
Holy shit.

Speaker 1 Why are you watching horror movies late at night? I don't know, but I enjoy it. Especially the Asian ones.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. When they go, oh,

Speaker 1 like that.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? When they get possessed, they always Asian horror.

Speaker 1 Dude, you know what I started watching last night? That's so fucking good what what we do in the shadows

Speaker 1 oh yeah oh my god do you know about it yes yeah allison jones casted that

Speaker 1 and i got an audition for it so i never went in it's so good do you know what that is on fx the movie was great yes this is nothing like this is basically uh um

Speaker 1 uh uh uh uh jermaine clement you know jermaine from uh flight of the concords and and takawa why can't he

Speaker 1 i can't say his last name yeah yeah yeah they created this show together basically about like vampires that live in Staten Island.

Speaker 1 Well, first of all, he has nothing to do with the show anymore. Taka? Yeah.
Yes, he does. He executive produces it.
I know, but apparently, he is not. Connected anymore? Yeah.
He directed, didn't he?

Speaker 1 Like the first episode. I don't know.
I had read that he wasn't. And then also, secondly,

Speaker 1 he was in the movie. The movie was great.
Yes. And then

Speaker 1 I never saw it because I thought it wouldn't be good because he is not connected anymore. The show is so good.

Speaker 1 Honestly, the acting is so fucking good. The people are so funny.
The jokes are really tiny. Well,

Speaker 1 I don't really trust you anymore because I saw normal people. And you love normal people.

Speaker 1 You didn't like normal people. Fucking boring.
You're an idiot. Boring.

Speaker 1 How many episodes did you watch? I didn't see any of it.

Speaker 1 I never saw a wink. I'll never see it, my friend, because I'm a man.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're a big man. Are you a big man? I'm a little dick man.
A little tiny guy who dragged in cigarette dust. Yeah.
Louis Capaldi followed me on Instagram because of you. Good.

Speaker 1 And I wrote him a message.

Speaker 1 What did you say? Louis. Dot, dot, dot.
Yeah. No.
Yeah. Because I had a message him.
Hey, can you do Tiger Bell? He never replied. Yeah, he just wants to be, he wants to see us from the outside.

Speaker 1 And that's fine. I love it.
Or animals in a cage for him. Listen, he is super talented.
He is English. He is a great songwriter.

Speaker 1 What an original voice. And I enjoy, joy, joy, joy, enjoy him.
I didn't sleep good last night. So what happened was last night, I've been watching a lot of shutter movies like Neroy,

Speaker 1 and I've been also watching, I saw another one called Blood Quantum. Okay, and

Speaker 1 I think it's getting into my psyche because it's like do you think about killing people?

Speaker 1 No, but I believe in demon possessions and stuff. Who do you think is possessed by a demon? Oh, she's definitely possessed by a demon.
Seriously?

Speaker 1 She's so rude. This morning she goes, Uncle Tito, you look like Napoleon dynamite.
I'm like, what? Attack off the bat? But I know what she's saying. I know,

Speaker 1 you're an old man and you're dressing like a child. You do dress like a child.

Speaker 1 It's fun. I love it.
Stand up. Let people see your fanny pack in your short shorts.

Speaker 1 You look good. It is very childish.
It's cute, though. I like it.
You got the city of Laura. Go back to China.
That's what they say on the internet. Go back to China.

Speaker 1 No, because I've been watching a lot of videos on...

Speaker 1 I've been watching a lot of videos on.

Speaker 1 let's see your favorite woman, Tamara Harry, and you love this girl, this woman. All right, so I'm

Speaker 1 hold on. So, let me can I do a little um yeah, give us some backstory.
I'm gonna do a little pre-pre.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 I'm really I love entitled white people, it's one of my obsessions in life. That's why you started a podcast with me, yeah, yeah.
And um, she

Speaker 1 is this, um, she's a lady from Phoenix, Arizona, where my parents, my mom lives, and rest in peace, dad. And she um your dad's dead

Speaker 1 stop oh fuck stop stop you started it you started it so um did you cremate your dad I forgot he's in a dust

Speaker 1 yeah you did and because your brother has some yes what did you do with yours it's in the podcast room it's in the podcast room yeah I'm never coming there again what you know what's so scary is at nights when it's dark I have to run in and run out like the like there's a light in there I have to run I get so scared why don't you go put the ashes somewhere else?

Speaker 1 Because I like the box.

Speaker 1 But why don't you put the box somewhere else, I'm saying? Not in the podcast room. Like in the ocean?

Speaker 1 Sure. Or if, no, you like him in the box, put him somewhere where you don't have to see him every time.
Yeah, maybe I'll do that. Yeah, hide it.
Yeah, put it in a cabinet or something.

Speaker 1 Put it in a top cabinet. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I know. I mean,

Speaker 1 let me ask you this. If there's a ghost,

Speaker 1 he'll if even if it's in the house in the top cabinet, he's gonna go boodoo. He's gonna be able to figure out boodoo and figure out how to get out of the cabinet voodoo is your dad well

Speaker 1 yeah korean ghosts korean ghosts say boo yeah yeah yeah oh wow

Speaker 1 and he's gonna be able to you know yeah figure it out yeah he'll figure it out so no matter where he is in the house the only way i can get out of it will he be mad if you put him in the top cabinet by the good china

Speaker 1 take me down watch the asian accents oh that's right yeah oh Oh, my God. Did you write your apology letter? Yes, I did.
Okay, good. I have it right now.
Do you really have an apology letter?

Speaker 1 I want to apologize.

Speaker 1 Honestly, did you write one? Did you write one? A long one. Okay.

Speaker 1 It's five pages long.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 last week, can we get into it a little bit? Sure. All right.
So, what's her name? Jen Murphy. Yeah, Jen Murphy.
So we had Jen Murphy on last week. And,

Speaker 1 you know, it is what it is. She came on and she defended herself.
She was very cool. She was actually very nice.
I like talking to her.

Speaker 1 But a lot of fans said,

Speaker 1 what a hypocrite, Andrew Santino, because you do Asian access all the time.

Speaker 1 And then we talked, mulled it over. We talked on the phone and we said, maybe we should apologize to the fans.
Yeah, we really need to. And I said, you should write a fucking letter.

Speaker 1 And so, will you read the letter to the fans? Sure. Okay.
But I have a little

Speaker 1 note for you. Before I read the letter? Yeah.
What is it? So I told you to write the letter, but my little note for you is: and

Speaker 1 I promise you this. I'm going to take my glasses off.

Speaker 1 I promise you this.

Speaker 1 If you don't do it the way I want you to do it,

Speaker 1 literally I will end this podcast and we will never do it again and I will walk away. You promise me this.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 So when you're reading the letter,

Speaker 1 all right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I want you to do it in an Asian accent.

Speaker 1 No. Yeah.
No. I will fucking walk away from this podcast.
You read the letter, but you have to do it in a thick.

Speaker 1 I want to be ninja. Yeah, you have to do an ethic Asian accent.

Speaker 1 You have to do it in an ethic Asian accent. But as an Asian American, I'm offended.

Speaker 1 I, as an Asian American, I'm offended. Okay, that's fine.
But I, as an Asian American, right,

Speaker 1 because I think my voice voice counts, yeah, it does, is that I believe that you are not a racist,

Speaker 1 I believe that you do Asian accents for comedy purposes, I believe that because you're doing it in front of me and I allow it to do it, I want the only reason why I'm doing a podcast with you because you're free in that way, yeah, we're fun, yeah.

Speaker 1 If you don't think that if I'm hanging out with Don, I did a Netflix show with Donnell Rawlings, yeah, and with Burt Kreischer, and Burt goes, we're gonna do an exercise exercise where we talk about our dead dads.

Speaker 1 We lay on our backs. We do scream therapy, but we want to talk about our dads, right?

Speaker 1 And but then Burt goes, Donnell,

Speaker 1 you channeled Bobby's dad, right? And the accent that came out of him

Speaker 1 was so offensive, right? And then mine,

Speaker 1 me channeling his dad, super. Oh my god, I could get canceled.

Speaker 1 Please stop farting in the studio. I'm begging you, please.
Do you smell it over there? Come on, buddy. Okay, question.

Speaker 1 Are you a scientist? Yes. No.
Are you a doctor? Yes. Well, I have gas.
You have air in your body. I have gas.
Hold it in for the next one. It's not air.
It's gas. Okay.
It's putrid gas.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I know putrid is the word. I don't want it.
Yeah. And you want it inside me? Yeah, that's where it belongs.
No, it doesn't. That's why it comes out.
But that's for outside. No.

Speaker 1 So I have this putrid gas inside me. And it's like, if we could talk, it's like,

Speaker 1 I gotta get out of here to go, you know?

Speaker 1 And so I'm like, should I keep this, you know, insidious, putrid shit inside my body, or do I release it into the let it go free? It's like a genie in the bottle. The genie don't want to be in there.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, he does want to be. That's his home.
Oh.

Speaker 1 But the genie comes in. Can you smell it from there? Yeah.
Yeah. Uh-huh.
I'm going to do it again. Don't right now.
Don't, don't fart. Please don't fart again.
I'll do it quiet.

Speaker 1 No, it's not the noise that's possible.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Watch. It'll be ninja.

Speaker 1 Talk about ninja. Ninja.
It'll be a ninja fart? I want to be ninja in my fart. Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. So, um, explain Tamara.
So, Tamara Harrion is a, um, she's married to Bob Harrion, and she's, uh, I guess she's a, she works at Bob Harrion's law firm, her husband's law firm.

Speaker 1 Doesn't she own the store? Isn't that the whole thing? She doesn't own the store. Oh, she talked like she owned it.
She doesn't own it. Ah.
But that's what I love with some white people do that.

Speaker 1 They pretend they own shit. Well, she did say, get out of our store.
Don't serve this guy. I know, I know, but have you ever seen skate videos where it's like a skate? You can't skate here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I own this, but they don't really own it. You can't skate at this building.
Yeah, I know. It drives me crazy.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 a Latino woman, I don't know what the exchange was before,

Speaker 1 but basically Tamra Harion

Speaker 1 says, basically, go back to your country. She says you don't belong here.
Right. Let's play the clip.
Let's see what she says. Bob's been obsessed with this.

Speaker 1 Oh, I said she is, and that's why she's leaving. So, you will leave too.

Speaker 1 This is going all the internet. You don't know who I am.

Speaker 1 You told her, you told her to go back to her country.

Speaker 1 I was

Speaker 1 from.

Speaker 1 Where were you born? I was born in America.

Speaker 1 Where are your ancestors from? They're not from this country. You're going back to I think.

Speaker 1 You better go back to where you're from.

Speaker 1 You just know you just just walked into the room.

Speaker 1 I can't. Excuse me.
What about?

Speaker 1 Did you ask me?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. My opinion.
Slap her around the wall.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Oh, I could just on a loop watch that.
You want to watch that slap again? Yeah. Yeah, she hits her good.
Yeah. But then...

Speaker 1 All right, so right there. Stop, pause right there.

Speaker 1 Pause right there. That's perfect.
Yeah. Look at what the white chick does.

Speaker 1 She pulled down her fucking blouse. Look at her titties out.

Speaker 1 Oh, I didn't even see that. Yes.
Oh, my God. I didn't notice that.
And I've watched this video before. Yeah, yeah.
Here we go.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. She does.
Yes. Dude, I never.
I've watched it enough to know. So the white woman goes to grab her and she pulls her booby out.
Maybe it's a lesbian thing. I like your titties, maybe.

Speaker 1 Or I don't know what it is. So she wants to get smacked.
She's like, smack me again. I'm going to.

Speaker 1 Let's see this again. Yeah.

Speaker 1 first of all you don't know dude she hits i just want to say this yeah okay i used to date a latina girl right

Speaker 1 and one time she woke i woke up earlier than her and i hid behind the around the this corner and she went to go get coffee

Speaker 1 and i snuck up behind her and i just tapped her on the shoulder i go

Speaker 1 like that right

Speaker 1 she did an uppercut I almost died. My head went back.
You know, you don't touch a Latina. No.
Well, she just, she must have pushed her or something because she holds off on this bitch.

Speaker 1 Yeah, look at this.

Speaker 1 No, you just walked in.

Speaker 1 There she goes.

Speaker 1 Kitty.

Speaker 1 Oh, I love her.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. What are you going to do? What are you going to do?

Speaker 1 So, I guess what happened after that was

Speaker 1 she probably went home because her husband's a lawyer, Bob Harrion. Yes.
And they own a law firm called Harrion Law Firm in Phoenix, Arizona.

Speaker 1 And he did. And then, so I went to Harrion Law Firm's Wikipedia.
Well, not Wikipedia, but their Yelp page. Their Yelp page.
And I read the reviews. And there was thousands of reviews.

Speaker 1 Well, we can look at that in a second. No, they erased them.
Oh, they're gone. You know how they erase them? Yelp reviews? No, it wasn't Yelp.

Speaker 1 It's just if you go to Harrion Law Firm and you go to to the Google, sure, sure, you can see the reviews on their business. Yeah, they pulled them down.
Yeah, they pulled them down.

Speaker 1 Well, this is Bob here.

Speaker 1 This is Bob.

Speaker 1 Is he apologizing for what happened?

Speaker 1 He's very upset about his wife's behavior. And this is Bob Harrion.
Let's hear what Bob

Speaker 1 Bob has to say here.

Speaker 1 Perina, I don't know what to say. I'm just so sorry.
I'm just so sorry that this happened. You never walked into that store thinking something like this was going to happen.

Speaker 1 I understand it. I'm

Speaker 1 sorry for what she said. It was very hateful.

Speaker 1 It was,

Speaker 1 it's indefensible,

Speaker 1 but I just have to tell you this. It's her mental illness.

Speaker 1 A year ago, she would never have done, never have even thought of that.

Speaker 1 A year ago?

Speaker 1 A year ago, she liked Mexicans.

Speaker 1 In June, she was all about Mexicans last year. She went to to a fiesta.
Something about this June makes her hate Mexicans.

Speaker 1 We went to a quinceanera in July. We were El Mariachis in Halloween two years ago.

Speaker 1 We love Diestella Smuertes. Our favorite movie is Machete.

Speaker 1 We love Coco. I saw Coco with her.
Coco? And she said nothing about it.

Speaker 1 You know what's such a bummer? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Perhaps, truthfully,

Speaker 1 perhaps this guy doesn't know that she does dumb shit like that. Maybe.

Speaker 1 I don't know because

Speaker 1 maybe he might

Speaker 1 think you know everything about your wife. Yeah, but let me say this.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 She may have some dumb, I do dumb shit when I'm away from you shit. Like, like, like, say some, she doesn't, but I'm saying he might not know her like he used to know her.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 This has been married for 30 years, right? Like, like, imagine she's turned, her life is different now. She's an angry old bitter bitch, and she takes it out on some signs, though, Andrew.

Speaker 1 It's like you're watching Schindler's List, right? And she goes, Yeah. You You know, and she's laughing during the movie.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? She's like cackling. And he's like, it's not a comedy, sweetie.
Yeah. You mean like little signs like that.
You think he had no idea that she was racist?

Speaker 1 Yeah, when she waves, she does this. Bye.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 1 You think he knew a little bit. There's always a little bit.
But he seems very genuine when he cries.

Speaker 1 No. What those tears are

Speaker 1 is I'm going to lose my fucking business. Business, yeah, that's true.
and i have to do whatever it takes to make now he could in his mind you know

Speaker 1 be think that that's what it's about about racism yeah but i think it would if his business wasn't in trouble i don't think there would be apology an apology a video

Speaker 1 not from him yeah there wouldn't need to be Right? If it wasn't his business wasn't in trouble, he wouldn't have said anything. She should have had to come forward and say something.
It affected her.

Speaker 1 Yeah, where is she?

Speaker 1 Why would she say anything? Yeah, but you know, here's what is she gonna say? Here's another thing is that people have just been popping off lately. People are saying some weird things.

Speaker 1 I've seen a lot of Asian ones too now. Go back to China.
Well, the Torrance. Chinese virus.

Speaker 1 There's one, the lady, the Torrance. Is it Torrance? Oh, yeah, NLA.
Torrance Cairns.

Speaker 1 There's actually

Speaker 1 two videos of her. Which I can't fucking believe

Speaker 1 that there's two videos. That made me, a part of it made me think it was fake.
I was like, how did they get this woman twice?

Speaker 1 Not only that, one of the videos, the woman, or whoever it was, if you look at it wasn't even full asian i couldn't i i didn't yeah i didn't see anybody yeah in that one the first video is she's not even full asian all right well here's the first video of

Speaker 2 of uh of this woman she's stretching this one right here it doesn't seem full asian here this girl that you're talking about right here the step girl all right let's see what she says here okay next time you ever talk to me like that you're gonna get your ass kicked by my family they're gonna fuck you up what did i do they're gonna fuck you up what did i do because you are an asshole.

Speaker 2 The whole stairs to yourself.

Speaker 1 Go somewhere else where you can go to a gym. This is not just for you.

Speaker 2 Get the fuck out of this world. Get the fuck out of this state.
Go back to whatever fucking Asian country you belong in. Okay, racist.

Speaker 2 This is not your place.

Speaker 2 This is not your home.

Speaker 2 We do not want you here. You put that on Facebook.
I hope you do. Because every fucking person will beat the crap out of you from here on out.

Speaker 2 Don't you ever say, oh, Jesus, to me, I want to use the stairs, you little bitch.

Speaker 2 There's other stairs.

Speaker 1 You are a sick, fucking, ignorant teenager.

Speaker 2 Oh, thank you.

Speaker 2 Who wears black in California suns? Who the fuck wears black?

Speaker 1 This woman's got a lot of nerve.

Speaker 1 She's got a lot of nerve talking about her outfit. Look at this fat, crazy bitch's outfit.
What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah. Who wears black in California? Yeah.

Speaker 1 She's got one of those lanyards that college kids wear so they don't lose their keys. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 What is it? Yeah, lanyard? Isn't that what I'm saying? Yeah. Look at this woman.

Speaker 1 Where is she? Look at this.

Speaker 1 Look at that thing. That's a nurse's.

Speaker 1 That looks like a nurse's nurse's

Speaker 1 scrub street. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Look at that face.

Speaker 1 She looks like Eric Stone Street.

Speaker 1 A woman. A woman looks like Eric Stone Street.

Speaker 1 Also, bitch, hey, lady, she's like half Asian. So, Kiana Reeves gets you want Kiana Reeves out of the country.
He's a national treasure. I like that she goes, get out of this world,

Speaker 1 go to a different world.

Speaker 1 There's another video of her. All right, so this is what's crazy about this is this happened two days in a row.

Speaker 1 That was the only reason that I got a little suspect that I was like, something's going on here that she must.

Speaker 1 This one is obviously obviously mentally ill. Well, she's mentally ill, yeah.
She's mentally ill. Yeah, something's wrong.
I don't know about the Harrion lady, but this one is

Speaker 1 just a straight-up offer. This is one of the Harrion lady is just an asshole.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 This woman definitely is mentally ill. Something's wrong.
There's something wrong with that. Okay, and then I dare to say she might be mentally handicapped.
So

Speaker 1 you may be, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's why I'm being up. Now I'm like, oh, who knows? Yeah.
She's obviously got enough faculties about her to make really heavily handed racist comments.

Speaker 1 Also,

Speaker 1 look at her last last name. Huh.

Speaker 1 Racist Lena Hernandez? Hernandez. Yeah, but maybe Hernandez is one of the people that put in the video.

Speaker 1 I don't know if that's her name. Let me look it up, though.

Speaker 1 Wait, I have to know. I'm going to press play on the second video.

Speaker 1 Who is Lena Hernandez?

Speaker 1 Who is Lena Hernandez? Torrance Karen strikes twice. Damn, that's her.
Lena Hernandez has been identified as the Torrance Karen.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Who is subject to a racial tirade on the Asian lady? What the fuck?

Speaker 1 That's how you know she's mentally ill.

Speaker 1 Wait a minute.

Speaker 1 Hey, I'll go back to fucking Asia if you go back to Mexico.

Speaker 1 I'm totally. I'm lost.
That's what it is. She's mentally ill.
Her name is. Lena Hernandez.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Of course, she doesn't look Hispanic, so it sucks that the. I don't know, maybe she is.
Who knows? I have no idea what that is. It sucks that the victim doesn't have that information

Speaker 1 just to rattle back. The ammo? Yeah,

Speaker 1 no ammo. Let's see what she does on the second one here.

Speaker 1 Did you just make a racist comment? You know what? I am not a racist person.

Speaker 1 You just made a racist comment. You need to go home.
I am from here. Look at go home.
I am here from here. Go.
I don't care about your Facebook or your video. Oh, okay, you're making a video.

Speaker 1 Do you know how many people can't stand you being here?

Speaker 1 You play games. We don't play games.
Oh, what kind of game are you playing? I play games where you get fucked to death.

Speaker 1 I play games where you get to death. Okay.
Obviously.

Speaker 1 She does an Asian accent later, though. She's

Speaker 1 go go to the Asian accent. She's mentally ill.
Yeah. No, obviously she's mentally ill.
That's what I'm saying. Yeah, but even there's something else going on.
Exactly. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This isn't just a normal person like your first girl. What's the first lady's name?

Speaker 1 Camera Harrion. Yeah.
That her husband was like, she's mentally ill. No, she just is a fucking

Speaker 1 person.

Speaker 1 drilling back. Something's wrong.
Yeah. Yeah, something's wrong.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fucked to death. Fucked to death.
Okay, well, great.

Speaker 1 Let me take your card. Let me put it to another place here.
You get away from me.

Speaker 1 So, this lady

Speaker 1 just made a racist comment. I can't believe this.

Speaker 1 You are going to go to real jail now.

Speaker 1 Well, great. You are.

Speaker 1 I think you are going.

Speaker 1 You understand me, Tana Man.

Speaker 1 I think you are going.

Speaker 1 She does more.

Speaker 1 Respect.

Speaker 1 Respect people. Ladies.

Speaker 1 Ladies. It's a terrible accent.
Terrible.

Speaker 1 Are you doing an Asian accent or Elmer Fudd?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I don't know what you park the car.

Speaker 1 You don't even know.

Speaker 1 There you go. Do you know who my family is? Do you know who your family is? How does she have a license?

Speaker 1 It'd be so funny if she drove like a really nice car.

Speaker 1 She drove like a Ferrari. She's like, excuse me, Chinaman.
That gets into a fucking Ferrari.

Speaker 1 Or maybe funny, like a DeLorean from like Back to the Future.

Speaker 1 She puts a bunch of waste inside of it.

Speaker 1 Did you finish college? This is from my government. Did you finish college?

Speaker 1 This is from my government. Go home.
Sounds like a nice lady. Yeah, I just, there's something about the climate of today that

Speaker 1 it's bringing out. Yeah, don't you think that's, yeah, this, but this is probably, no, this kind of shit happens a lot.
I just think they're like.

Speaker 1 I think there's been more videos in the last four years than in any other time.

Speaker 1 I would have to say that.

Speaker 1 There's more people recording more often now. Not only that, but there are more people getting the balls to really express themselves.

Speaker 1 But don't you think that's ironic that you'd be more adamant to say that when you know someone's going to record you on your cell phone? I think that's a little weird. That's weird.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's thick for me. Because you know, cops have changed their behavior because of body cameras.
cameras yeah i have i have a message for white people that want to act racist here we go

Speaker 1 become better actors for instance treat it like you're in a movie right so you do your racist whatever be yourself yeah as soon as the camera hello my friend you know what i mean

Speaker 1 right so so if this scenario

Speaker 1 she should have gone

Speaker 1 as soon as the thing you know go back to china go back to china as soon as the camera um do you need help with your car

Speaker 1 may i help you with your groceries yeah like become a different character yeah that's we should teach a class an acting class on how to racist people on how to on how to act civil right when an iphone comes out as soon as the iphone comes out yeah hello when the iphone that's action yeah when the iphone comes up action right can i help you with something yes that's exactly as soon as the iphone goes away yeah yeah then you go back to your action china man

Speaker 1 yeah you go back fucking Chinaman. You can go back into it, yes.
So I think we should

Speaker 1 teach a class. Bobby and I will be teaching a how to be racist.
Meisner technique. Meisner technique, racist class.

Speaker 1 And you really have to put it in an exercise like this. Go to a local park.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And attack an Asian person verbally. Not physically.

Speaker 1 Any of you. Let's just stick with Asian for now.

Speaker 1 That's class two.

Speaker 1 Class two and three get into more

Speaker 1 advanced, yeah. Yeah, and more advanced, yeah.
Yeah. And cops can take it too.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That got into it uncomfortable. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, just because what...
I'm sorry. I didn't read the

Speaker 1 planet. You didn't read the planet.
I didn't read the planet. Read the planet.
Yeah, I should read the planet. Read the entire planet.

Speaker 1 I think these videos are circulating more and more because people are... People want to catch people saying fucked up shit.
I think people say fucked up shit all the time. Thank God for phones.

Speaker 1 iPhones. Thank God for technology.
Has anybody ever said something like that to you, Rude? Has anybody ever said go back to your country or anything like that? No. Has anybody said that to you, Bob?

Speaker 1 Oh my God. You have no idea.
Dude, first of all, I'm 48, right?

Speaker 1 So I was, I grew up in an age where white people used to go wild on us, bro.

Speaker 1 I mean, do you ever see the open? Go back to China? Is that what that says? No, but even little things like open the refrigerator.

Speaker 1 No one ever played you this game? No. So as a kid, we stepped at this game and used to, I used to cry when I went home.
But kids would go, all right, Bobby, open the refrigerator.

Speaker 1 And you would open the refrigerator, take out the Coke. Take out the what? Coke.

Speaker 1 Okay. So you would take out the Coke.
I swear to God, this was a thing. Drink it.

Speaker 1 And then you would drink it. And they'd go, me, Chinese, me, play joke, me go pee pee in your Coke.

Speaker 1 Why would they pee in your Coke? I have no idea where that comes from, but I remember the first time doing it, I would do it, and I would drink it, and

Speaker 1 they would do it. Right.
And I would be like,

Speaker 1 I would spit it out, and I would go home and I would start crying.

Speaker 1 I swear to God, that was a me Chinese, me play joke, meekly. Me, go, pee-pee, in your coat.
Me, me, pee, in your coke.

Speaker 1 Where does that come from? I don't know where it comes from. What is it? What was the other one? I don't know that one.
I've never heard that one. You never heard that at all?

Speaker 1 No, but I've heard like a

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 Chinese, look at these dirty knees. You know what that is? Yeah.
I don't know. Why can't I? Yeah, I know that, yeah, Chinese.
Look at these. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know what that was. I don't know what that was either.
But they would do it. I thought you were going to do this game that people used to do.
No, what? You know this thing from...

Speaker 1 You know what this is, don't you? You never did this? No, this is... No.
Put your hands like this? Yeah. Okay, now come up to my hands.
I don't want to touch you. What do you mean?

Speaker 1 Yeah, six feet away. Well, then we can't do it.
Yeah, I don't want to touch you. Our hands need to interlock, and then you open it, it looks like a pussy.
You've never seen that before.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that's not a racist thing. Why would you even do that? No, I know.

Speaker 1 That's what I i thought you were gonna do when you did this i didn't know what you were doing yeah but that's what i was doing like this well no it does become racist because the color of the vagina is the color of your hands yeah but kids used to always you know they would do this yeah you know yeah and you know and when you you just kind of as a kid asian kid because i grew up in minnesota for like eight years and i was like the only asian kid in in edina where you were in minneapolis where adina oh wow right and um

Speaker 1 kids used to say the worst thing they throw ice balls get the Eskimo, in the snow.

Speaker 1 Get out. Right.
And they would throw icy snowballs where I would bleed. Yeah.
And I'd be running, you know, I mean, just terror. And then I would go home and people say I play a victim.
It's fine.

Speaker 1 But, you know, then my dad would be abusive too. So it was like, you know, you would get it from all sides.
Right. But

Speaker 1 yeah, they used to go fucking free with that shit, dude. Go home to your country is a weird phrase that people like for some reason.

Speaker 1 I just want to make

Speaker 1 hello

Speaker 1 news slash new slash hello.

Speaker 1 It's I don't know where that.

Speaker 1 I was.

Speaker 1 Listen, I was born here, man.

Speaker 1 The only thing I know is this language, baby.

Speaker 1 I know all Tom and Jerry cartoons, Mr. Rogers, all that shit, baby.
Baby. And I don't know what you fucking mean.
I'm not going anywhere. He's not going anywhere, baby.
No one's going anywhere.

Speaker 1 You belong here. And it's like when they say that, you know.
where would you go?

Speaker 1 Go back to your country. I'm also Korean.
Don't say go back to get the fucking country right, first of all. I'll say, go back to South Korea.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 If you're going to say it, you have to say it the right way.

Speaker 1 I want to, let's, let's just, we'll knock this out of the park. Last week, people got mad because people said I'm a hypocrite for the Jen Murphy video.

Speaker 1 Bob and I have a relationship where when we do accents to each other,

Speaker 1 that's in our comedic world.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 that's that.

Speaker 1 If you think that I'm hypocritical for calling out Jen Murphy

Speaker 1 for doing a video about wanting to be a ninja while selling Murphy beds, if you think that's the same thing as me doing accents with my friend Bob, then I can't help you.

Speaker 1 And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say this. I can't help you if you don't get that the woman selling fucking Murphy beds, making fun of Asian people is, if you think that's the same as what I do with Bob,

Speaker 1 I can't help you. I don't know, man.
That's it. There's also a lot of

Speaker 1 victims.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying that I'm a victim with racial injustice.

Speaker 1 When I first came to L.A.,

Speaker 1 this is not comedy, but this is true. I went to ICM.

Speaker 1 My manager, there's an agency called ICM back in the day. Yeah, they're still there, right? Yeah, and they wanted, you know, I had a meeting and

Speaker 1 the agent said,

Speaker 1 I know his name, but I'm not going to say it.

Speaker 1 Is he still an agent? Yeah. He basically said, listen, you're Asian.

Speaker 1 Asians are never going to work in Hollywood.

Speaker 1 This is 1998.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 no one's going to sign you. I'm sorry, you're a funny kid.
Right.

Speaker 1 Not that he said anything like derogatory. He was just giving me.

Speaker 1 He's giving you the landscape of what's really going on. Right.
And in my head, it hurt at first. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But there is a sense of me going,

Speaker 1 I'll show you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, proving him wrong. I'm going to prove you wrong.
Yeah. And, you know, I don't know if without that, I think all those things when I was bullied racially or whatever,

Speaker 1 I think it seeped into my heart and my and I had an internal dialogue with myself that said, all right, that's uncomfortable. That sucks, right? But I am not going to play.
be a victim.

Speaker 1 I'm going to just show you.

Speaker 1 And there is anger. You build anger inside yourself and there's resentment, especially in my generation of Asians, right?

Speaker 1 Because now I go to my shows and I see like, you know, a dumpy Asian dude dating a hot white chick and it's just a given. And you go, you know, I want to go, what the fuck? But,

Speaker 1 but, like, you know, I remember it was just so much harder for me. Yeah.
Right. But, you know, it's, but back in my day that you just didn't see shit like that.
Right.

Speaker 1 And so, but I am, I would never change anything about my past. Yeah.
You learn, we grow, we change. Yeah, I've been bullied.
I've been beaten. I've had great things too.
I have great memories as well.

Speaker 1 But all those things accumulate to, you know, and that journey to this moment here. And I wouldn't change this moment for the world because, you know, I have a great life.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I,

Speaker 1 you know, I want to say I'm proud of myself. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, I do a lot of self-deprecating humor.

Speaker 1 I can be down on myself with shame and all that kind of stuff. But at the end of the day, it's like, bitch, I fucking done so many great things and I've overcome so many fucking things.

Speaker 1 And, you know, I love when people go on the internet, dude, you're not funny. Fuck you.

Speaker 1 Fuck you.

Speaker 1 Be real. Yeah.
Come on. Yeah.
Papa got it. Papa got it.
And those are difficult things to say out loud. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, those are difficult to say because, you know, you know, you want to be humble, you know, but I also, you know, you get attacked. We get attacked a lot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's because we put ourselves out there. We put ourselves out there.
We get attacked a lot. Yeah.
And I don't fight back ever. I don't ever comment back usually.
Wait a minute.

Speaker 1 But, you know, it does build.

Speaker 1 And you want to just say to people, Bitch, what the fuck you talking about? You know?

Speaker 1 Tiger Belly's not funny. People say, bitch, don't listen.
Yeah. Yeah, tune out.
Tune out. I don't get a funny thing.
I like when people say, like,

Speaker 1 oh, you've lost me on this one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, man. We don't, okay.
I want to also, we don't, it's not like Andrew and I call each other before these. Yeah.
And all right, so do you have a list of things we want to talk about?

Speaker 1 And we should map out exactly who we are. Exactly.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I know podcasts that do that. They have segments and stuff like that.
Yeah, we do. We'll plan stuff once in a great while if we really want to talk about it.
Yeah, like that.

Speaker 1 Sometimes guests obviously are planned out. Yeah.
But in terms of like today, I showed up there. I go, oh, dude, I don't know if I I can do this.
I'm tired. I said that to you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, some days are tough. And then you were like, yeah, I didn't sleep that well either.

Speaker 1 So some days are tough, but

Speaker 1 these aren't.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. Are you okay? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think we do this for fans that want to have fun and come along for the ride. And if you

Speaker 1 disagree with what we say or what we do, that's cool.

Speaker 1 Fucking cool it out.

Speaker 1 What does that mean? Like people that are just people that get like upset at things that we say on the show or what we do on the show.

Speaker 1 Sorry. Oh, my God.
I swear to God, I thought you farted. No.
I swear to God, I thought that was like a rumbler.

Speaker 1 I thought that's what that. What was that? Her phone.

Speaker 1 You know why she did that? Why? She hated the segment? That's not it. She didn't like we're not talking about it.
No, no, no. That's not it.

Speaker 1 What she does is

Speaker 1 Jules plays. What's the game you play? No, I'm not playing.
No, no, no, what's the game you play? Mobile Legends. Mobile Legends.
Mobile Legends? Mobile, whatever.

Speaker 1 And at dinner she plays it when you're having conversations. What is it? What is it? Is it just a video game on her phone? Rudy, what is it? What's the game?

Speaker 1 There's like 10 players and then 5 to 5 we kill and like win. Kill.
Big theme for her. Yeah, she loves killing.
How do you kill on the game? Is it with guns?

Speaker 1 Don't say no. Guns, swords, or a knife.
She loves knife shit. Powers.
Powers, yeah.

Speaker 1 But you play it a a lot right yeah but not right now why did you drop your phone um it just slip

Speaker 1 why was it in your hand I was talking to someone yeah see you're being you're working right now

Speaker 1 at your job here in America

Speaker 1 tell her to go back to her country go back to your country yeah there you go here in America right when we work we work right yeah and you're on the fucking clock right now You don't fucking what are you texting George texted me what did he say yeah

Speaker 1 what did George say George wants to know if we're going to talk to Andres.

Speaker 1 We will. I know he gets real, but George gets real uppity and ampety.

Speaker 1 I want to also talk about

Speaker 1 things that we've watched in quarantine and things we want to recommend to people.

Speaker 1 Why don't we ever do that? Normal people and what we do in the shadows are the two things that I'm going to recommend right now. And I don't care that you don't like normal people.

Speaker 1 You don't want to watch it.

Speaker 1 I am going to watch it. It's so good.
Yeah. I'm telling you, it's so good.
So, what I've been watching is I've been watching, because of Jules, put your fucking phone down.

Speaker 1 I've been getting into anime. Are you serious? Yeah.
What are you watching? Well, I saw Attack of the Titan. Attack on Titan.

Speaker 1 I don't know what that is. It's so good.

Speaker 1 Is it one of your favorite shows? Is that why? No, I saw it before her. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Attack on Titan is probably in the top

Speaker 1 Attack on Titan. Yeah.
These are some of the people. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Whoa, cool. So the premise of Attack on Titan is

Speaker 1 it's it's an Asian society. I don't know where it is, but it's basically people now live.

Speaker 1 Will you pay attention to me? I'm listening. Okay, people live.
I just want to see the characters. People now live.

Speaker 1 People now live in

Speaker 1 behind walls.

Speaker 1 Like

Speaker 1 we're in a confined area of the

Speaker 1 three walls. Yeah.
Right? One's called Rose Wall. Yeah.
Yeah, there's a couple of other walls, right?

Speaker 1 And I guess toward the center of the walls, like if you're in the middle society, it's upper people, people with money on the outskirts.

Speaker 1 But there are these gigantic walls, and the reason why there's walls is because there are these gigantic creatures called titans. And they kind of look like humans, but they're like

Speaker 1 500 feet tall.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 they look like zombies. And they go,

Speaker 1 right? And they tear down walls. And so there hasn't, the show starts off for 100 years, not a a single side of a Titan.

Speaker 1 We're just living freely, you know what I mean? And kids are playing

Speaker 1 around, and then all of a sudden they show up again. And they look like that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's the one of the main Titans. They look like

Speaker 1 skeleton with all the muscle fiber tissue. No,

Speaker 1 they all generally don't look like that. Look at all the other Titans.
Google it.

Speaker 1 They're like that. That guy's there.
Is that the same guy?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They look like that.

Speaker 1 It looks like Iggy Pop.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That looks exactly like Iggy Pop. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Legitimately, that's what Iggy looks like. Super rail thin.
And do they eat the people? Or it looks like

Speaker 1 a naked Eleanor Kerrigan.

Speaker 1 Like, I can imagine, like, if you're dating Eleanor Kerrigan and she goes out, you know what I mean, to get like a cup of water and comes back to bed, like, looking like that.

Speaker 1 I love Eleanor. I love you.
So this is so fucking

Speaker 1 creepy. That's what they look like.

Speaker 1 And what

Speaker 1 I don't understand.

Speaker 1 How did they get this way?

Speaker 1 Well, I don't want to give away the

Speaker 1 story, but there is a reason why they're there, but you'll find out. Okay, so don't tell me.
But it really is fucking scary because it's like the main, what's the main kid's name?

Speaker 1 Aaron. Aaron is a boy.
A-A-R-O, Aaron. Yeah.
What a boring.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he has his best friend, Mikasa, who's a girl, and they're kids. Mikasa? Yeah, maybe they're 12, 13 years old.
My house. They're playing around.

Speaker 1 Go ahead.

Speaker 1 And the Titans attack, right? And this is not giving anything away. Right.
And one of the Titans picks up Aaron's mom,

Speaker 1 looks at it, and just tears her mom in half. Like, rips off her head? Her half her body.
Oh, my God. Eats it.
Blood squirting all over her in front of Aaron, right? So it's very graphic in that way.

Speaker 1 What does my house do? What did Mikasa do?

Speaker 1 Mikasa's like, come on, Aaron, and they run away. They don't even try to say it.
So when it says,

Speaker 1 David and Goliath, you have to figure out a way to do it. They do figure it out.
Of course, of course. They train.
They do the whole fucking thing. I like it.
Then the

Speaker 1 Attack on the Titan is the finale. Well, it gets way crazier than that.
How many episodes? And where can I see it? There's like 50 episodes. Where do you watch it? Netflix.

Speaker 1 There's only one season on Netflix. Yeah, then I bought the rest on iTunes.
Netflix does that. They bait you into want you have to go buy it somewhere, huh? Yeah.
Why do they do that?

Speaker 1 They put up one season.

Speaker 1 Maybe they just only bought one, the rights to the one season, and maybe the production company does that. We'll give you a season, but we're going to keep

Speaker 1 second to third season. Yeah.
So people buy it.

Speaker 1 Did you see that they removed Gone with the Wind from

Speaker 1 what they took it? They took it down

Speaker 1 because it has racial undertones, but it was removed. Spikely says,

Speaker 1 Look at this. Yeah, after his op-ed, Gone with the Wind, John Ridley had written this thing.
HBO Max pulled down Gone with the Wind because it has racist undertones.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't really agree with that. Do you? Well, no,

Speaker 1 it's a part of our history. It's about movie history.
Right. And

Speaker 1 I don't like when people fuck with movies in that way. Like, I remember Last Tango in Paris.
You know that movie? Yeah. Marlon Brando.
You're going to take down Driving Miss Daisy, by the way?

Speaker 1 Exactly. That movie, that movie is littered with racial undertones and social commentary.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 if we had those things because they represented a time period, they're historically, we're talking about a time period. Right.
Yeah. Well, that's kind of, this brings up a good discussion then.

Speaker 1 When people talk about tearing down...

Speaker 1 racist statues, right? Of people that were like, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's interesting to me. I get why people go, fuck that shit, take it down, fucking, that guy's a piece of shit, yada, yada, yada.

Speaker 1 Then I also go, yeah, but that's a representation of the past, and now we're moving forward, and look at how far we've come, right? There's a duality in my mind that goes, you're not going to go to,

Speaker 1 are you going to say,

Speaker 1 are you going to say tear down Auschwitz?

Speaker 1 Auschwitz is our, no, not even arguably. It's the most disgusting place on earth because of its history, right? Yeah.
Repulsive. But it's there as an example that

Speaker 1 Jewish organizations continue to fund to make sure that young people see it to make it. It's a reminder.
It's a reminder of how awful the history was and how far we've come. Just keep the Robert E.

Speaker 1 Lee fucking statue. Well, there's something about these statues that reminds us where we've come from.

Speaker 1 It's a duality for me. I understand why people go, that guy was a, like, USC took down a statue.

Speaker 1 And I don't remember who it was. On their campus, they had a guy

Speaker 1 that obviously had views that they no longer agreed with. But to me, it's like, well,

Speaker 1 isn't that a good talking point? I don't know. I don't understand.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's also

Speaker 1 even the Confederate flag. Well, that's a whole new thing now.
Yeah, it's a whole new thing. Because now it's banned from NASCAR, and the NASCAR guy was like, I ain't going to race no more.

Speaker 1 And that's him. Yeah.
And

Speaker 1 did you see about this guy? Did you see his racing record? No, no.

Speaker 1 What's his name? You're going to fucking love this. Confederate

Speaker 1 flag.

Speaker 1 If you're hanging a Confederate flag to remind people about our ugly past, that's one thing.

Speaker 1 But if you hang it in pride, it depends on what your intentions are, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, here's the problem.

Speaker 1 It's, hold on here. NASCAR truck, NASCAR truck racer Ray Cicarelli says he's quitting over the company's decision to fucking NASCAR driver, let's see, his name is Ray

Speaker 1 C-I-C-C-A-R-E-L-L-I. Ray Cicarelli.

Speaker 1 He's going to quit because they've decided to ban him. I want to see a photo, though.

Speaker 1 Can you just go to our images?

Speaker 1 Let's do this.

Speaker 1 I want you to show you this, though. Racing record.
You're going to love this.

Speaker 1 Part-time competitor. He's not even a full-time NASCAR.
Driving number four now truck. Through 18 races over the span of three years, he has one top 10 finish.

Speaker 1 You suck!

Speaker 1 You fucking suck yeah no one's gonna miss you you suck you fucking suck in fucking three years you've only finished in the top 10 one time you fucking suck cicarelli look what this fucking moron looks like what do you mean you're gonna cut ties you're they were gonna fire you you know what that's like that's going to your boss and being like i quit and they're like we were gonna fire you the fucking you're the worst employee you don't even work here anymore cicarelli this is him

Speaker 1 That's him going to get him. I'm going to go.
That's it. I'm going to fucking get a hoagie.
Fuck this shit. He's mad that they took took away the Confederate flag for NASCAR.

Speaker 1 That's what they look like, don't they?

Speaker 1 They all look like that, huh? This guy's a fucking idiot. You fucking, you suck.
You suck at fucking racing. So you quit because you suck, not because the Confederate flag.

Speaker 1 Well, he's kind of handsome.

Speaker 1 From that angle. What a stupid fucking thing to get mad over.
They took away the Confederate flag. Look at the size of these guys.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Slap fighting is maybe some of the coolest. Put on your fucking headphones.

Speaker 1 Slap fighting is some of the coolest shit I've ever seen in my fucking life.

Speaker 1 It's just grown men just beating the fucking shit out of each other.

Speaker 1 The fact that they can even take, like, take the hit and stand up afterwards is insane.

Speaker 1 They're putting in slow motion. I don't want to hear this music.

Speaker 1 It's insane.

Speaker 1 They hit they hit these guys so fucking hard. Bop.

Speaker 1 Ugh.

Speaker 1 They just take it.

Speaker 1 No, not. I mean.

Speaker 1 Coma.

Speaker 1 A standing. Look, and they put stuff in their ears to protect their ears.
Because sometimes they hit their ears in the side of their neck. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 oh.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. The dust that comes up when he hits him in the face.
I mean, like that. Who wins, though?

Speaker 1 Us at home? No, I know, but did they keep slapping until

Speaker 1 I don't know the official rule? If he falls, is that that you lose? I think if you pass out, you're done. Yeah.
I think if you're done, you're done. He's trying to talk to him.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 How are you feeling?

Speaker 1 Did he fuck you up?

Speaker 1 I don't know why they have to have this music in the background.

Speaker 1 But yeah, slap competitions are...

Speaker 1 That's like a huge...

Speaker 1 That's a big thing.

Speaker 1 Have you never... You never seen that before? No.
Really? Well, I've seen slapping. No, but slap out.

Speaker 1 I'm going to Google the fuck out of it. I'm obsessed already.
All right. Um, I wanna talk about

Speaker 1 you know, I have a new pet. You do? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I don't know if you know, but I have three cats and three dogs, and I have a new pet. I know that.

Speaker 1 And I have a pet named Leonard.

Speaker 1 Leonard is who? What kind of pet is Leonard? Um, let me tell you the story. Please.

Speaker 1 So about five days ago, um, Kalila goes, we have a new pet. And I go, what the fuck? We have enough.
Yeah, she goes, Look on our balcony.

Speaker 1 And on our balcony is a crow.

Speaker 1 Dude, I have a crow in my backyard. No, and it's there every day.
I swear to God.

Speaker 1 I swear to God, on my life. This one broke its wing and its leg.
Oh, my guy is a hat. My guy's chill.
Yeah, he's not. Yeah, no, he's not chill.
No, no, your guys is paralyzed. Paralyzed.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And the crows, you know, I mean, on the porch, you know what I mean? With his mouth out like this.

Speaker 1 Right? Yeah. Like, kill me.

Speaker 1 I'm dying. Take my life.
Right?

Speaker 1 So, I'm like, what the fuck do we do? We call humane. I don't know who animal.
The humane society, right?

Speaker 1 What do you, animal, uh, animal rights? Rescue or something. I don't know.
Some sort of,

Speaker 1 I don't know, we google it, right? You call, you called the

Speaker 1 people. Exterminate.
I don't know. Exterminator.
Extermination. Show up, kill the bugs in the crowd.
Right. Yep.
She goes, I go, so yeah, all right. Call the, call it.

Speaker 1 Call the number. call them up.
She's like, no, what? No, I'm calling nobody. We're gonna heal it.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 We're gonna nurture it back to

Speaker 1 get it the fuck out of here. Lila wants to nurture a crow.
Yes. So what are you doing? Are you keeping it near in your house? It's still there.
Is it not still there? Wait, in your backyard?

Speaker 1 No, in our front porch.

Speaker 1 What? Yeah, it's now white.

Speaker 1 The porch is white. Because there's poop.
For the shit. There's shit everywhere.
So she,

Speaker 1 so we order fancy fruits.

Speaker 1 Don't tell me you ordered the crow fancy fruit. No, no, no, no.
Okay. We already had it.
So we have Asian pears. I love Asian pears.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 Mongolian apples. Don't like that.

Speaker 1 We have different kinds of specialized fruit. All Asian fruit.
For us. All Asian fruit.
For us.

Speaker 1 She's slicing it like sashimi. For the crow.
Slicing it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Then she boils eggs.

Speaker 1 First of all. Crows don't eat eggs.
Yeah, first of all, who the fuck? It's like me eating a boiled fetus. What the fuck?

Speaker 1 I'm not going to eat that. Right? Wait, she boils eggs just for the crow?

Speaker 1 Does she not boil the eggs? Yes, right? What?

Speaker 1 Fucking crow, right? Are they not vegetables? And then she starts going. Now she ordered two books online about crows' intellects.
No. Yeah.
Crow.

Speaker 1 They're fucking fantastic beast or whatever the fucking books are called. Crows are omnivores.
They eat nearly anything. They're like parents.
She goes, they're like parents.

Speaker 1 She's watching TED Talks on. They're like parents.
They recognize

Speaker 1 the mirror test. They pass the mirror test.
I mean, they do. They are smart birds.
Okay. They are smart.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And they eat everything. All right, so but let me say something except for Asian fruits.
Look at that. That's a great thing.

Speaker 1 When you're okay.

Speaker 1 When you're

Speaker 1 boiling eggs, dicing up Asian fruits, right?

Speaker 1 Giving them also they, I guess they like cat food, but I get the really fancy kind.

Speaker 1 What's the fancy kind? Cat food. There's an expensive and a cheaper cat food? Yeah, yeah.
I get the, you know, I mean, the high, the high-end cat food for my cats. What is it? From.

Speaker 1 That's what it's called. But it's like chicken.

Speaker 1 What makes it nice? It's kibbles.

Speaker 1 I have wet food too, but you know, the kibble, the nice kibble. Kibble is better.
So with the kibble in there, right?

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 water, not just faucet water. Filtered water.
Fucking Fiji water, fucking bitch. Well, you gotta.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 Fiji fucking water. You have to feed it Fiji water.
Right?

Speaker 1 And then, like, then she goes, look at the crow. Then she puts on, you know what she does? She puts on the fucking Beatles.

Speaker 1 Blackbird. Blackbirdfly.
And she's, we were both weep.

Speaker 1 Did I weep? I weeped a little bit. Blackbird singing in the dead of night.
Right. That's a great fucking song.

Speaker 1 If it was the house that I grew up in,

Speaker 1 my dad,

Speaker 1 booty, this is what my dad would go.

Speaker 1 That's him chirping, my dad. That's him going, choop, choop, chip, chip, choop, booty, come here.

Speaker 1 And the birdie would say.

Speaker 1 He would grab it by the neck, right?

Speaker 1 You know that Olympic sport where they take the ball and they... Yeah, the shot put? Yeah, the shot put.

Speaker 1 He would shot put it into the air, right? And then you would hear a large thud in the middle of the street. He'd just throw it.
That's how my dad would have handled it, right?

Speaker 1 So now it's day what, five or six?

Speaker 1 Five. Five.
It's day five now.

Speaker 1 Right. You would think that the crow would be like exercising, right?

Speaker 1 Trying to mend, you know what I mean, his shit. No, he's comfortable now.
No, he's lounging. Yeah, he got a little lounge.

Speaker 1 He's lounging, eating the fruits. Best food he's ever fucking had, by the way.
Yeah. Right? Fiji water.
Oh, it's purified. Right?

Speaker 1 There's antioxidants in it. Right?

Speaker 1 Just hanging like this.

Speaker 1 it's going to be with us forever. Leonard.
There's no fucking reason now. Here's my idea.
Yeah, he's not going to leave. Yeah, you want my idea? And they both rejected my idea.
What?

Speaker 1 I have three cats.

Speaker 1 Right? Yeah, I got it. Right.

Speaker 1 I pick up Ming, the oldest one. She's fucking...

Speaker 1 When I lived on Beechwood.

Speaker 1 I'm in trouble for this, but I got in trouble for this. But what I would do is, this is before I had the other two cats.
And because Ming was so bored, we had no other animals.

Speaker 1 So I would go to get the fancy bird food.

Speaker 1 I lived on a third, third, three stories up. You've been to my place.
Yep. And I put fucking bird food, right, on the railing of my balcony.
Oh, mean.

Speaker 1 I know. And I would put the fucking cat out there, right? And with the little birds...
And Ming went, kaka! And just fucking grab them from the air. And she's fucking vicious.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she's the bad. And she would drag it, she'd drag it back into the apartment and now get in big trouble yeah you'd get big trouble

Speaker 1 it's fucked up so you're gonna let ming out to go say hi to the no so what my idea was is that no i wasn't gonna do that that's cray cray oh an animal what you did before was it cray cray i i i apologize for that already okay okay okay i apologize what i would do now is pick up ming no food water by the way yeah no my idea no food water go you're not gonna die but we're not gonna give you shit yeah you get nothing right

Speaker 1 Pick up Ming.

Speaker 1 You knock on the window.

Speaker 1 They named it Leonard. Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's another thing where it's a danger. It's a danger.
It's a great name. It is a great name.
Yeah. But it's danger.
Like, you're going to see it again.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, it's not going to go anywhere now. Right.
So I would knock on the thing, not call it Leonard. Hey, bird.
Right? Chirp, chirp. Knock.

Speaker 1 Point at Ming.

Speaker 1 And go, three days. You think it knows days? Yes.
You have three days. Three days.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I bet you.

Speaker 1 What if Leonard goes like this? Fuck you. I don't know.
What Leonard would do? Hmm?

Speaker 1 He'd be out there exercising. Oh, you're ready to go.
Getting his shit.

Speaker 1 Getting his shit. Because he knows he has three fucking days to get the fuck out of there.
I think you should write it.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Write it on the window, a big three, and then the next day, wipe it off. Or hire Amy Adams from the movie fucking or the arrival.

Speaker 1 Right? And bring up a board. Let her talk to him.
Right. And do it like some sort of communication kind of thing.
She must know how to do it. She must know how to do it.

Speaker 1 But that bird would be out of there.

Speaker 1 Now, Leonard is here to fucking stay, my friend. Yeah.
Are you happy about that, Rude? Yeah, she is. What, you love Leonard? Yeah.
Here's another thing that they've done.

Speaker 1 They go, watch this now. They go to the balcony and Kalila goes like this.

Speaker 1 Or makes some sort of noise. You know what Leonard does?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Communicates back.
They're buddies. They have a language now.
Yeah, I love them. When I go out in the balcony, that's not what happens.
He starts hopping away. He wants to get away from you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, because he knows what you've done.
I'm smoking too, and I'm giving it. I give him some.
Oh, don't do that. Don't do that.
Don't smoke.

Speaker 1 Fuck you. Fuck Leonard.

Speaker 1 It's my house. No, it's not.
Not anymore. It's my Asian fruits.
That is your Asian fruits. Those are my Asian fruits.
You need to get those. My eggs.
I know.

Speaker 1 But now we have this fucking black crow named Leonard. Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We have an Afro-American.

Speaker 1 We have.

Speaker 1 We have an African-American. We have an African-American.
Crow. Crow.
And he lives on our

Speaker 1 balcony. And I don't know what to do.
Andrew, help me.

Speaker 1 I really like Leonard.

Speaker 1 I like the idea.

Speaker 1 Help me.

Speaker 1 I need you to help me.

Speaker 1 Jules, what do you think we should do? Well, you asked me for help, and I would help you, but she's here.

Speaker 1 So, Jules, Jules, get closer to the mic, right? If Leonard doesn't leave

Speaker 1 for another week, what do we do?

Speaker 1 Let him stay.

Speaker 1 See? You let Leonard stay. Inside.

Speaker 1 No, because the cats.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but then you got to let him fend for himself. It's got to learn.
It's got to learn.

Speaker 1 That's how it works.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I have a fucking black crow now I have to take care of.
African American crow. African-American crow.
Bird, crow, bird. And you're giving it Asian fruits.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Maybe I should give it.

Speaker 1 What's that now?

Speaker 1 What? I'm going to show you a clip. Barbecue.
Look at this.

Speaker 1 Bobby sent me this. This is the precursor of the slap fights.
This was on some. This was on.
Whose Instagram was this? So one of my favorite LUFC fighters is Derek Lewis. Oh, Derek Lewis's Instagram.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Look at this.
This is a great clip.

Speaker 1 Oh, my boy, bro. Hold on.
Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, first of all, let's.

Speaker 1 one.

Speaker 1 This is called slap for cash. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When you have a strip of pole

Speaker 1 in your living room,

Speaker 1 that's a good thing. Yeah.
Yeah, that's a good thing. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. And there's cash on the ground, obviously.
Is that cash? Yeah, that's money.

Speaker 1 And he's going to slap this man, and if he can take the hits, he's going to give him money.

Speaker 1 He's going to take a slap for cash. Are you ready? I am ready.

Speaker 1 Oh my god, are you dead?

Speaker 1 Oh my god.

Speaker 1 Are you crazy? What are you doing? I'm trying to fill it out.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to fill it out.

Speaker 1 I'm glad I didn't slap him up. My hands bleeding.
Damn. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're so crazy, and you're like half dead.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Fuck, that's real blood. Slapper cash, quest G, fuck everybody, but love.

Speaker 1 Look at the blood on the floor. Holy shit.
Wait, where are you bleeding from?

Speaker 1 I was picking. That's acne.

Speaker 1 If you have back acne like that, get on fucking. Where are you bleeding from? So active.
Oh, that's acne. Yeah.
He hit him so hard his acne bleeding. I love it when people get hurt.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then they try to pretend they're not. No, no, no.
No, or they're not. They try to pretend to be like super tough.

Speaker 1 That, look, he took the hit, but I got to tell you, the sound he makes when he gets hit is absolutely one of the funniest things on earth. Yeah.
Listen to this. The sound he goes,

Speaker 1 listen to how funny this sounds.

Speaker 1 Do you know why? He went through a black hole.

Speaker 1 He's time traveling. He travels in time and space.
This is so fun to listen to.

Speaker 1 Look at this chick's face. Look at this girl.
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 What did you think was going to happen? Look at the fucking size of this guy.

Speaker 1 This guy's got to be 350, 400 pounds. Okay.

Speaker 1 Do you think this guy doesn't have a fuckload of inertia and energy behind it? No science before you let a guy like this hit you in the fucking face. Also, what else do you notice about the video?

Speaker 1 Right now, pause that there.

Speaker 1 The flattest ass that chick has. Wait, what? Let me see.
Her ass. Oh, right.
The girl. Flat.
Well, that's also very funny. There's a girl just spinning on a stripper pole.

Speaker 1 As this, look at this. This girl's spinning.
As this guy's about to get fucking knocked into another universe, this girl's just spinning on a pole and vans. I just love this sound.

Speaker 1 Sorry, one more time with the sound.

Speaker 1 Never mind the fact, by the way, that the worst sound is his head hitting the wall. His head hits the wall.
That's how he starts really bleeding. Listen how hard his head hits the wall.

Speaker 1 Oh my god.

Speaker 1 Holy shit.

Speaker 1 The wall is. Listen how loud the wall is.

Speaker 1 Oh, look at her.

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 1 can somebody make the remix of this? You know, you know, that's, you know, that people have remixed that fucking song that

Speaker 1 all the girls had to go like this. You dabbling in a row.

Speaker 1 Cause there ain't no holla back, girl. This sounds like the beginning of that when he hits the fucking wall.
Listen.

Speaker 1 He could have died, dude. Yeah, well, look at his head almost hit the fucking

Speaker 1 the head. I mean the baseboards.
The edge on that could have cracked his skull. Also,

Speaker 1 this is the internet. If you slap me like that?

Speaker 1 If you slap me as hard as you could, what do you think would happen to happen to me? Honestly? Honestly. We'd have to take you to the hospital.

Speaker 1 I have so much built-up years of wanting to actually physically punch you or slap you. Yeah, yeah.
It would come out.

Speaker 1 I mean, you would certainly make the same sound. Yeah, I don't think I would.
If I hit you, you'd sound just like this.

Speaker 1 You'd be gone.

Speaker 1 I would be gone. If you hit me, what would happen? We'd just keep talking.
You would keep chatting. We'd keep talking.
We would just chat away. We'd just chat away.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is the new age of the internet, though. This is the kind of stuff that

Speaker 1 our parents' generation doesn't know exists. Isn't that wild? Which means that this shit was going on on behind closed doors.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Like all this shit that we're watching now on the internet, you just now get to see.

Speaker 1 Just did it in their basement. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Lighting their dick on fire, stapling their numbers. You would see them at work.
Hey, Bob. Yeah.
Hey, how's it going? Yeah. Hey, Billy.
Yeah, it's good. Just been a good weekend.
Weird weekend.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 What happened to you this weekend? Did something unusual happen? Oh, just, you know. Horseback riding.

Speaker 1 Meanwhile, that was happening.

Speaker 1 I can't get enough of that. This girl's sucking on a sucker.
Holy shit, I didn't think that was going to happen to you.

Speaker 1 Speaking of weird, fucked-up weekends. What happened to you? I went to a wedding, a backyard.

Speaker 1 Tell me about that. Honestly,

Speaker 1 I'm thinking it's a small wedding. It's going to be nice and casual and tiny.
It was only a couple people. It was just people that were here, and then they zoomed the other part of the wedding.

Speaker 1 And I was like, this will be quick. It'll be small because I don't want to stay.
These people don't want us at their house. You know what I mean? Like, it was a family.
It's the families of

Speaker 1 my buddy's wife. And

Speaker 1 ceremony's over, we eat dinner. And I'm thinking, we should probably get out of their house.
Time to say goodnight. Yeah.
No.

Speaker 1 The fucking parents are ready to turn the fuck up. The most fun I've had.
Dude, we're dancing, we're drinking. We go into this other part of the house.
Social distancing?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, we are.
How? And then we smoked weed.

Speaker 1 And then were you dancing?

Speaker 1 And then we smoked weed together, and that was fun. Were you smoking weed? With an older social distancing.
Yeah, but I roach pinching it. So my lips didn't touch it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're at a wedding.
A backyard wedding. And you're smoking weed with the dad.

Speaker 1 With all the old, all the elders. Oh, wow.
Getting baked out of their fucking head. I mean, literally, verbatim, he goes, I haven't smoked weed in, I don't know, 20 some odd years.

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God.
I was like, this is going to be fucking incredible. The first thing, after we're all laughing, having a good time, we're getting high.

Speaker 1 We're telling stories and chatting.

Speaker 1 The guy who goes inside of his house and immediately changes into shorts and like a comfy t-shirt like that. Yeah.
And sits by the fire and is just roasting marshmallows.

Speaker 1 And that's, and that's his, that's how, that's his way of saying, get the fuck out. I'm really high.
No, no, no. We were all, we know, we were all roasting marshmallows.

Speaker 1 I thought it was like, get the fuck out. No, no, we're making smores.
That was his way of being like, I'm comfy.

Speaker 1 Leave me alone. I'm going to eat marshmallows.
Have fun. Yeah.
It was such a fun thing. How long did you stay there for?

Speaker 1 Hey, we were there. We were there all night.
Yeah. And then I walked home.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, so it's in

Speaker 1 the neighborhood. On this side of the town.

Speaker 1 It's on my side of town. Yeah.
It was in the neighborhood. And I walked home to

Speaker 1 Sherman Oaks.

Speaker 1 We're in Sherman Oaks. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Bob.

Speaker 1 Giving away locations.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You guys want to know Bobby's address? No. People already fucking signed up.
131264. Yeah.
Uh-oh, you fucking cocks. Bakeridge Lane.
That's it.

Speaker 1 And Rudy's address is 1364 and a half. Yes.

Speaker 1 Bad, bad, Rudy girl, Lane. Yeah.
She's also ordering fucking furniture. Who the fuck do you think you are? A dresser came in.
A dresser came in yesterday. Did it really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then it's like this gigantic box. And she's like, unco tito, how do we, you know what I mean? We had a, I had to get a, I had to get

Speaker 1 my Mexican dude to come over.

Speaker 1 The way you said that. A Mexican friend.
I had to get a Mexican to get over here. A couple of Mexican fellows.
On TaskRabbit? Do you use TaskRabbit? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they helped me bring it up to the thing, but she's like ordering shit online now. What do you pay them to help you build stuff?

Speaker 1 How much does it cost? It was like a hundred bucks or something. To help you build a dresser? Yeah.
And whose dresser was it? For the root? Yeah. Why do you order shit? I didn't order it.

Speaker 1 It was at the Kalila. She ordered it.
She's just been so snooty around the house. Has she really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just like now she's now so comfortable with me. She's just like making faces.

Speaker 1 You know, like she'll look at a thing

Speaker 1 like a mess.

Speaker 1 Because she's sick of it. Yeah, the trash.

Speaker 1 She's just tired of the bullshit. Yeah.
The maggots that she brought in.

Speaker 1 Tell them about the maggots. Maggots?

Speaker 1 Maggots? What do you mean? You have maggots? No, I don't have. We've been seeing maggots in the house.
Do you guys leave food out? Cheetah Bobby.

Speaker 1 You leave in food out to get maggots? You know how long that would take to get maggots? That's crazy. Me.

Speaker 1 Why are you doing that? You're gonna have maggots in your house?

Speaker 1 It's not like I'm fucking creating a maggot farm kind of I know but it's that purposely it's like I want to discover but you gotta you gotta throw away food maggots are gonna that's I know that we have trash cans and behind I'll just throw in like a pizza or something

Speaker 1 and the pizza will go back there. Oh my god.
Yeah, and there's a maggots you live there. Yeah.
And then she and then like it's so funny because I make her do all kinds of I know.

Speaker 1 Like, hey, what yesterday I go, hey, there's some beef. There's some beef chunks on the ground.
Clean it up. You just put them on the ground? No, it was dog shit.

Speaker 1 You saw it first!

Speaker 1 Oh, you saw it first? Yeah, you have to clean it up. Clean it.

Speaker 1 Whoever saw it first has to clean it up. Isn't that the rule? You spotted it.
You clean it.

Speaker 1 Do I treat you like a mean parent, do you think? Worse. No.

Speaker 1 What do I treat you like?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 You're fun.

Speaker 1 That's the word I wanted. Tito Bobby's fun.
Okay, yeah. And tell everyone, get closer to the mic.
You lift it up a little bit so that, yeah, and get your mouth close to it.

Speaker 1 She hates the microphone. Do you love your Uncle Tito? Yeah.
See, I love you, Uncle Tito. I love you, Tito, Bobby.
This is like real abusive.

Speaker 1 I know. It's abusive.
It's like creepy as shit.

Speaker 1 It's like you're grooming her.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Oh, that's what I, that's the other thing I saw, too, about the Epstein's girlfriend.
They made like a little short documentary on her. They put it up on YouTube.

Speaker 1 Epstein's girlfriend's name is Epstein. Stop it.
We did this last time. Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 He's the perv. I know.
What's her name? Gilan Max. Gilane Maxwell.
I don't know much about him. I know that

Speaker 1 he had a sex ring.

Speaker 1 Lolita Express. Yeah.
Take kids on a plane.

Speaker 1 Young kids. Bill Clinton.
26 times. You know, whoops.

Speaker 1 26 times.

Speaker 1 They were like,

Speaker 1 he never went there. The pilot log.

Speaker 1 26. How do you say 26 in other languages? 20 or 6.
20 or 6. Yeah.
26 times this guy.

Speaker 1 What is?

Speaker 1 Honestly, this is the honest question that I have.

Speaker 1 Why do people have sex with kids? What is the allure, though? Of kids? Because you can tell they're kids.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like I was watching this like

Speaker 1 90 day.

Speaker 1 It wasn't a 90 day fiancé. It was like some sort of like marriage show.

Speaker 1 Like a married at first sight? Married at first sight. That's what it was.
I like that one. And there was a couple where

Speaker 1 the guy was like,

Speaker 1 a a black couple, and the guy was like, yeah, the girl was a virgin.

Speaker 1 It just kind of turned him off, you know? I get that. That she was a virgin.
Yeah. If he wanted her to have a child, you wouldn't.

Speaker 1 As an adult, you want a mature woman that

Speaker 1 is sexual, right? Yeah. Why would you do that to a child? What is the allure? Well, there's a control.
Usually, usually, not to get down on the show.

Speaker 1 It's really sad, but usually it's because they were sexually abused when they were kids.

Speaker 1 Most sexual abusers, yeah, they keep it going. Yeah, so most of the time they were either sexually abused themselves or they

Speaker 1 like type pussy.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's it.

Speaker 1 You know what I did say, though? You know what's so fucking you know what's insane? When they were pedophiles when we were kids, is that that way I just said that? No, it's funny.

Speaker 1 Okay, it's gross, it's terrible, but it's okay.

Speaker 1 When they were pedophiles when we were kids, it almost made me

Speaker 1 so grossed out and mad because you're like, ew, dude. We're like little nasty, weirdo, freako kids with like braces and acne, and we're dirty and we stinky.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then you see kids today, and you're like, these kids are all trying to be sex stars when they're like 15. It's no wonder that pedophiles are like, I didn't know she was 16.

Speaker 1 It's like, yeah, because these fucking kids pretend like they're 30. It's the creepiest shit on earth.
Yeah. I fucking

Speaker 1 have Gianni's helping me with a TikTok account, and sometimes I'm filming through TikTok and I see a girl in there and I go, Jesus fucking Christ, like

Speaker 1 titties out all this shit, and then it says on their bio, 16. I'm like, why the fuck?

Speaker 1 Titties out. These girls on the internet are like 15, they act like they're 40.
You know what I'm talking about. It's fucking crazy.
You look at it and you're like, this is like pedophile bait.

Speaker 1 TikTok is like pedo bait.

Speaker 1 It's gross. It's fucking gross.
Dude, if I have a daughter, she is not on TikTok with her boo-boos out and her poos-poo showing. No way.
Oh, if I had a daughter? Kill it.

Speaker 1 Kill it. No, no, no.
Kill it. No.
Kill it. She would be in, like, one of those medieval armor suits.
Yeah, what do they call it? Chastity belts. No, just a full-blown.
Oh, you know.

Speaker 1 Oh, like Chainlink armor? Yes. Like a full-blown Lord of the Rings.
I'm fighting orcs. With a helmet and shit.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because no way. What's your experience? You see that, right? Do you have TikTok and stuff? Do you see young girls

Speaker 1 that do sexy-ass shit all over it in their underage? Yeah, even like 11 to 12. It's fucking insane.
Dude, you see it. We're the parents.
They must not give a fuck. They must not know.

Speaker 1 11 and 12 year olds, and they're doing like sexy dances and shit in bikinis on the internet. Yeah.
It's fucking crazy. Imagine the dad walking in when they're doing it.

Speaker 1 Oh, what's going on here? How are you guys doing? Yeah. All right, well.
Get out. We're making a fucking TikTok.
Yeah. Mark.
You know, they call their dads by the first name. That's a new thing.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Mark.
Get out, Mark.

Speaker 1 Dude, if I called him.

Speaker 1 You're my daughter. Okay, yeah.
Call me Bobby. Get out, Bobby.
You're get out of the house.

Speaker 1 Literally, get out. If I call my father by his first name, holy shit.
Oh, my God. He would have been like, what the fuck did I say? If I said Robert to my dad, what the fuck did you just say? Oh,

Speaker 1 I'll be you. You be your dad, ready? Yeah.
Get out, Robert.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 What do you say? I said, get out of my room, Robert. I'll be right back.
You're going to come right. Oh, yeah, get out.
Go away. Then you would hear in the garage.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Right? He'd come back with a wrench.

Speaker 1 I'm kidding you. A wrench, a golf club, something other metallic, right? Okay, now.

Speaker 1 Lay on your belly. Right? No, I'm not going to do that, Robert.
You're going to lay on your belly, right? He would take the fucking golf club, stick it around my neck, right?

Speaker 1 Pummel me, pummel me down, right? right he would take the wrench and he would just twist my ears off of my fucking skull

Speaker 1 yeah did he ever put a golf club up to you like that my dad used to fucking take i shouldn't be laughing full-blown swings to my stomach with a golf club oh yeah

Speaker 1 right you would you know all the wind would come

Speaker 1 right spit out blood yeah i mean fuck you man would your brother get this at the same kind of shit oh my god my brother one time this is the funniest story.

Speaker 1 My brother one time, I ever tell you the story?

Speaker 1 Where he had a friend spend the night. No, I don't know this.
So his friends spend the night. My brother was about 12, right? Yeah.
My brother had this Casio keyboard, right?

Speaker 1 And it was back when they had samplers, too. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 So my brother would go, cookie ka, and it would cookie ka, cookie ka, kookika ka ka ka ka ko kooki ka ka ka ka ka ka kid and break up the samples. And they would giggle, right?

Speaker 1 My dad was taking a nap. My dad sleeps naked.
Same.

Speaker 1 My dad opens the door. Hey!

Speaker 1 Right? He takes the keyboard, right? Then I come around to look.

Speaker 1 All you see is keys

Speaker 1 flying into the air over my brother's bed.

Speaker 1 So bad.

Speaker 1 Pap! Pap! Just keys, right? Everyone's crying. And then my dad turns around, and you know, my dad used to sleep with toilet paper in his ass.
What? Yes. Why? Because

Speaker 1 we all have a thing. Leakage? Yeah.
Oh, yeah, you told me about the leakage. Yeah, it's insane.
So he turned around, walked back, took a nap.

Speaker 1 Your fucking poor brother.

Speaker 1 No. Your poor brother.
Don't do the fucking sampling, Sam. No, stop it.
He's just being a kid. I know, but my point is:

Speaker 1 this generation of kids now fucked. Oh, no, they're just, you know, they're easy.
Fucked. They're fucked.
Yeah. Yeah.
Calling them by the first name is crazy. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 If you, can you, what do you call your parents? Would you ever call your mom or your dad by their first name? No. No, they would get fucking pissed, huh? Yeah, her mom.

Speaker 1 That's like foreign discipline shit.

Speaker 1 What? I love her mom, but

Speaker 1 what

Speaker 1 I can't say it okay but her mom what you know I've seen her mom go off on her what does she call does she call you any mean names or mean words um

Speaker 1 stupid stupid you does she ever did she ever say bitch

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 you little bitch stupid is what they got you little bitch you worthless

Speaker 1 that's what I get

Speaker 1 you know I mean just crazy shit you little bitch yeah my dad used to call me a little ass.

Speaker 1 You're a little fucking ass. Did he used to hit you? No.

Speaker 1 Oh, I got, yeah.

Speaker 1 I got hit, but not like you got hit. Yeah.
I got these. I've talked about that thing, the back of the head.
Oh, right. I got those a lot.

Speaker 1 I got cracked in the back of the head all the time. But you know what? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Every time I got cracks in the back of the head, which was a lot. There's something about your history, though.
I did it. That I'm not aware of because I see, I know now

Speaker 1 through social media and through, I've seen photos of your family. Yeah.
I know your parents call you.

Speaker 1 Andrew, when are you going to, are you going to come over to the 4th of July and spend the weekend in Chicago?

Speaker 1 We miss you, honey. Miss you too.
Right. So you have

Speaker 1 a really, you know, Americana, nucleus family.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 you have sisters, correct? One. You have one sister?

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 you know what I mean? No.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 what? You have one sister and you have a really nice family with a bunch of love. A lot of love.
A lot of nurturing.

Speaker 1 Where does this come from, though? What? You have this rage and anger, and like you express yourself as if

Speaker 1 you had some sort of difficult childhood.

Speaker 1 Where did that anger come from? My anger comes from

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 My dad is very short-tempered, and my mom can be a little cold.

Speaker 1 So just because you see, like, we do love each other, we do get along, but we're like any family. We have all sorts of fucking fucked up shit in our bones.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 My dad and I fight on a constant fucking basis. We argue a lot.
We have a lot of anger towards each other, differing of opinions of life. Okay.
Yeah, yeah. And my mom is a hard, tough,

Speaker 1 love, loving woman, but tough as fucking nails. Dude, you, if, if I was fuck not throwing up blood, you were going to school.
There was no like, I don't feel good. Those days didn't exist.

Speaker 1 My mom was like, too fucking bad. Get the fuck, go.
Fucking go now. That's the toughness.
Well, it's just very, like, that was, that's their attitude of life. Was like, too fucking bad.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, you don't have that? So what?

Speaker 1 Grow up. Yeah.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 they love, but it's, I, I, tough love was kind of a theme of my house.

Speaker 1 Too fucking bad. Oh, you want, oh, oh, shouldn't it be better for you? Now, if you have a child, would you.
My mom used to grab me by the arm. Yeah.

Speaker 1 If, if, if we were out in public and we were being brats or just whatever,

Speaker 1 if someone was disabled or had like a limb missing or something, she would grab me by the arm and she'd point at them and she'd go, don't you ever fucking complain again. Do you understand me?

Speaker 1 Do you see what these people have to live through? I thought you were going to say, beat the shit out of that person.

Speaker 1 She'd go, go attack that handicapped boy.

Speaker 1 No, but she would go, you shut your fuck. Whenever you complain, you little brat.

Speaker 1 Usually if I'm complaining or if I'm being a brat, you know, when I was a little kid, and she would go, don't you ever complain again because he has to live like that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You lucky little spoiled brat. It was like she, she was very, that kind of stuff was embedded in my brain.
Don't you ever complain.

Speaker 1 There's kids out there that don't have, that don't have half of what you have. Yeah.
So you shut up. It was very much that.
You know, which is healthy.

Speaker 1 In many ways, though, you know, I liked my dad because he dealt with things differently than what American parents would do. Like, for instance.
Like, hit you with with a golfer.

Speaker 1 No, there's this kid guy, a kid that punched me in the face. Yeah.
And I came home, and my dad came home early from school, I mean, from work, and I came home and I had like a bloody nose.

Speaker 1 And when, you know, if you're a parent and you see your child like that, what do you do? You probably call the parents. Well, the first move is you make sure they're okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, but then you would probably call the other parents. Your son hit my son in the face.
Your son hit my son. Don't let that happen again and whatnot.
My dad didn't do that.

Speaker 1 So he saw my bloody nose and he goes, what happened? I go, this kid, he punched me. Okay, get in the car.
So I'm like, oh, we're going to the hospital.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 And he goes, I go, we're going to the hospital? I'm okay. And he goes, no, we're going to find him.
Right?

Speaker 1 So then I was like excited, like, he's going to scare the shit. But then my dad picked up a hammer.

Speaker 1 in the garage and then it slowly turned into what we're going to kill him right and we drove around the block for two hours trying to find him. Yeah, art.
That's his name. Art.

Speaker 1 We're trying to find art. Luckily, I was praying that we didn't

Speaker 1 kill Art. He would have died.
Yeah. But then in my head, I'm like, oh, that's cool that my dad's like that.
That's very cool. Yeah.
That is very cool. Like, old boy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 My grandfather, this is my grandfather,

Speaker 1 my uncle. My uncle got

Speaker 1 punched. He got fucked up.
Okay. He got knocked out.
He got knocked the fuck up. And he came home.

Speaker 1 And I don't remember what family member told me the story, but they were laughing so hard and he was he's the youngest, one of the youngest, the youngest, and he walks up to my grandfather, and he's on the porch smoking

Speaker 1 and he's reading.

Speaker 1 He's reading the paper, and my uncle comes up, and he's all fucked up and you know, whatever. And my grandpa goes, what happened?

Speaker 1 And my uncle's trying to explain it, and he's going, oh, I don't know. And, you know, he's trying to tell the story or whatever.
And he goes, come here. And he grabs my uncle and he looks at his face.

Speaker 1 He goes, ah, it looks like you bobbed when you should have weaved.

Speaker 1 What the fuck is that? What does that mean?

Speaker 1 Bobbing in his hand. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Wow. Yeah, he's like, oh, it looks like you bobbed when you should have weaved.
Go inside, put some steak on it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Take the hit.
Learn how to take the hit. But, you know, when you raise your kid, though, when you have a child, I believe you're going to have one soon.
Okay. Okay.
The Oracle. The Oracle.

Speaker 1 Are you going to, what kind of parent are you going to be? Me. Are you.
Aggressive? No, are you going to be the same as your parents were? Well, I don't know. Ask my babysitter.
She's right there.

Speaker 1 I'm hiring you as as my baby full-time babysitter and you're gonna be a living nanny you're gonna be good with kids that's why i want you

Speaker 1 that's why i want you rudy

Speaker 1 you think i want someone that's like oh hi little baby no i want you to leave i want you to leave the kids places i want you to neglect it but will you ever discipline your kids through hitting

Speaker 1 you know i don't want to put anything on tape

Speaker 1 no i think i think i will i will definitely uh spank and all that stuff yeah yeah i'm not i don't want to physically hurt the kid you know my parents never wanted to physically hurt me either.

Speaker 1 I mean, sometimes getting smacked in the fucking head hurt bad. Yeah.
Or getting jerked around by your arm. I just don't want my kids to have fear of me.
Well, you, well, I do. I do.

Speaker 1 I think you should be scared of your parents. No, not.
I think you should love them. Not like your fear.

Speaker 1 Yours is like torture. Yeah, yeah.
My fear was, fuck, I'm in trouble. Like, he's gonna.
Oh, that's gonna happen. Well, that's the fear that you want to instill.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Then they can't go around calling you Bobby. Oh, yeah, that's gonna happen.
Whatever, Bobby. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 The first time my kid calls me by by my full name teeth out he's getting he's losing teeth and he's gonna stay like that until he can afford to pay for new teeth yeah you know i think you know now that you say that i think when you're having a child i think you pre-plan in your head what you're gonna do how you're gonna do it and maybe that's why i saw some of the reaction of my parents

Speaker 1 that they maybe made a um deal with themselves that they were not gonna you know cross certain boundaries right so maybe that's what some of that was i imagine Yeah. But everything changes.

Speaker 1 Every friend I know that has kids is like, oh, you think one thing, and then it's totally different. Yeah, because Dalia has been texting me a lot.
He's been sending me photos of his baby. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And stuff. He has.
Yeah. And he's saying, look how cute.
And I go. It's so weird that it has like three arms.
Do you know? It's like it has another arm that comes out of its shoulder. That's his dick.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. That's a big dick.

Speaker 1 They put it around its shoulder.

Speaker 1 Delia, bro. Whoa.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude. But it must be a Delia, dude.
I saw the baby's dick. And I said, I said to him, I'll read you the text.
Yeah. I'll read you the text.
I go, um,

Speaker 1 what do you say?

Speaker 1 I would go, um, what you say. What'd you say? Where is Dahlia? That you only manufacture.
Gang Cook Shop.

Speaker 1 Crystal. I go.

Speaker 1 He goes, bro, have kids. I go, is it worth it? He goes, it's everything.
Yeah. And it made me teary.
Yeah. Yeah.
Because it gives you a new lease on life.

Speaker 1 Do you want a new lease on life?

Speaker 1 You want a new lease on the lay, Bobby? I do.

Speaker 1 Family,

Speaker 1 you've got to have a fucking family.

Speaker 1 Santino's got some ginger kids.

Speaker 1 I'll buy some fucking baby Bobby Lee

Speaker 1 Family.

Speaker 1 Got a fucking family

Speaker 1 A bad friend

Speaker 1 Thank you for being a bad friend family