Bobo's Pandy Conspiracy Theory

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Speaker 1 You two are bad friends.

Speaker 2 Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 2 You two are something. We're bad friends.
Can I play you a song to start the show? Why? I want to play you a song. You can do whatever you want.
It's your show, baby.

Speaker 2 Oh, boy. It's you.
You make all the decisions. I'm going to do this.
I'm going to do that. I'm going to come up with these little games that we do, call-ins and these little sketchy sketch things.

Speaker 2 I'm going to choose the bad friend's colors and the background and i'm going to change i'm going to do the art direction can you imagine and then and and and then it bob you just show up okay so why do you even ask me

Speaker 2 i mean

Speaker 2 it's see what i mean there we go yeah is it nothing about my flat face or nope okay that that that

Speaker 2 did you sing it no

Speaker 2 this is a kid named Amphu.

Speaker 2 It's a remix from last week's episode. Is it that isn't that is it that is that

Speaker 2 is that

Speaker 2 isn't that is it that is it

Speaker 2 that is that isn't that is that is that isn't that is that isn't that is it that is it that isn't that is that is that hey yeah okay is it that this is that is that is that is that it's that is that is that is it that is that is that isn't that isn't that it's that

Speaker 2 is that is it that is that is that is it that is that is that

Speaker 2 be that?

Speaker 2 Thank you so much, the amp food.

Speaker 2 Thanks for the shame. Isn't that soundproof?

Speaker 2 Thanks, bro.

Speaker 2 It's really good. I don't have enough problems.
That's really good. I don't have enough problems.
Oh, get fucked. That's such a fun song that some guy did.
Rude, do you like it? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you do? Because I'm going to say this. You fucking live in my house rent-free, baby.

Speaker 2 And you pay her. And I pay you and I feed you, all right? So have a one time you're fucking one time.
You're fucking side with me. Oh, Papa is angry.

Speaker 2 Shout out to my friend Raimi and Branson and Frankie. They live in Georgia and we play Warzone together.
Shout out to you guys. We took number one one time during the week.
What's up, babies?

Speaker 2 And shout out to my Georgia fucking Warzone buddies

Speaker 2 online. What's up, babies? Yeah.
What's up, babies? Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, the thing is,

Speaker 2 the thing is, is that

Speaker 2 I've been trying to get you to play Warzone, but now you won't play because of the fact that

Speaker 2 Fatty Eric Griffin

Speaker 2 posted. Online, I don't want to be on YouTube.
Yeah, we're not going to put it because I'm not that good. When we play, we're not going to go online.

Speaker 2 So, will you promise promise me this that you'll play tonight? Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, promise me this that you play tonight or no? I can't play tonight. Why? Because I have a thing.
What thing? It's date night tonight. Really? At midnight, I'm asking.

Speaker 2 We're supposed to be fucking then.

Speaker 2 Oh, so you fuck every Friday night? No, no, no.

Speaker 2 Well, we fuck a lot of nights, but I'm saying we do it because the pandemic has kept us in the house and we don't like have any normal lives, we've been doing date night once or twice a week.

Speaker 2 So we arrange a nice night to get dressed up, to make a nice dinner, to like

Speaker 2 not just do the like the TV sit around fuck off thing. Well, what about then Saturday night? Warzone, baby.
Okay, Saturday night I'll play. It's at midnight? Whenever, whatever time you want to play.

Speaker 2 If you're not on, dude, I'm done with this podcast. Great.
Okay. Oh, don't roll your eyes because I'm being real, baby.
What is this stupid threat?

Speaker 2 Because I've been asking if you all week and I get hurt. I tell all everybody.
You get hurt? I get hurt. But you sit there with Eric Griffin, chumming around with Griffin.

Speaker 2 We're going to go in here, Bobby. Here we go.
We're going to go get the money, Bobby. Hey, Bobby.
He's leading you around around that game, and you're letting him do it. It's making me sick.

Speaker 2 It's making me sick. I know.
I understand that. I don't like what he does.
I don't like it. I don't like it either.
But the thing. Bobby, we gotta go over here to get this cash dropped.

Speaker 2 I don't like it.

Speaker 2 Put it in the box and make it a balloon go. How did a balloon go well?

Speaker 2 I know. I don't like it.
I don't like it either. And then he puts it on YouTube.
Why I'm asking you to play

Speaker 2 so that we can weed him out. He's gonna get so mad when you know what's gonna happen.

Speaker 2 I don't know what's gonna happen. Do you think that I feel good about a fatty, fat fuck like him leading me in a war? We're gonna get, here's what's gonna happen.

Speaker 2 Hey, baby, he goes, hey, baby, let's go to that fucking McDonald's right there. Wait, wait, for the...
I know what he's trying to fucking do. Half of the game was spent in fast food for some time.

Speaker 2 I know. He always wants to go to those fucking like abandoned fucking fast food places.
I don't know why. Because

Speaker 2 it's like an old PTSD thing. Yeah, I don't know.
Taking it back.

Speaker 2 Hey, tell me. Before you left to go outside, you think the pandy is a conspiracy?

Speaker 2 Well, you know what?

Speaker 2 here's the thing.

Speaker 2 Bobby, me. Yeah, you're Bob? Yeah, I don't know much.

Speaker 2 I read articles on the web. Yeah.
I watch the news. You know, maybe it's the fake news.
I have no idea. Well, it's all fake, pretty.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I get pulled one direction, right?

Speaker 2 Because for me, my foundation is, I'll admit, is I, you know, Papa's a...

Speaker 2 A liberal. I'm a liberal.
You're a liberal. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And so then I kind of generally listen to, oh, yeah, I'm on this team, but there are sides of me now that is being pulled in the other direction. Well, what led you to this? What article did you read?

Speaker 2 Well, it's just, oh,

Speaker 2 it's just, sometimes I listen to like

Speaker 2 Joe Rogan and all those kind of Brian Callan and those guys. Well, don't listen to Callan.

Speaker 2 That's a foolish mistake. That guy's a moral.
And then I just, then Joe Rogan, you know, he said that maybe he's going to move to Montana or Montana or something so he can do stand-up and stuff.

Speaker 2 He wants to move because he has enough money to go wherever he wants. Yeah.

Speaker 2 If you were that rich, wouldn't you just leave? I would have left a long time. What would be the purpose? Yeah, like Pauly flew to Hawaii.
I would fly to Hawaii too if I had to.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's in Hawaii right now. Speaking of Hawaii and your shirt, look at it.
You got a Hawaiian shirt on. I watched your movie last night and I called you, didn't I?

Speaker 2 Oh, God. I watched, so David Spade.
Listen, listen. David Spade is a new movie called The Wrong Missy on Netflix.
Spade's our homie. We love Spade.
He's our buddy.

Speaker 2 Swartzen is in it, who by the way so funny and i texted nick i go very funny in the movie he goes it's the fattest i've ever been and i go i don't i don't it is the fattest he's ever been probably yeah definitely but it's not that he was fat he's not fat in it it's just i think um bloated

Speaker 2 it looks like that he like jimmy he was regular size and he died went into the ocean they found him and then you know over the week the the the the ocean water made him bloaty that's mean he's our friend that's mean he's our friend well then it looks like, instead of that, it looks like that he was a regular guy, right?

Speaker 2 Got real hungo hungo, right? And then just ate a buffet in Vegas for 24 hours straight. And then flew to Hawaii to shoot.

Speaker 2 And then, no, and then went onto a boat, got shot in the head, went to the water, and then he got bloated.

Speaker 2 I called you after I watched the movie. And that you put me in a fucking bad mood.
I did put you in a bad mood. I said this.

Speaker 2 Let the fans decide then. I said this phrase.
My wife and I said,

Speaker 2 an underutilization of your talent. It's a bummer that I didn't see more of you.
That's a compliment, Bob. That's saying, I wish I wanted to see more of you.
I was bummed. Since the year 2000,

Speaker 2 I've been auditioning for Adam Sandler movies. I auditioned for a bunch of them.

Speaker 2 The Pixels. Did you go for that? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Zohan? A bunch of Zohan, a bunch of stuff. Okay.

Speaker 2 And I could never get into his world.

Speaker 2 You know, I memorize the lines, I go in there, I could never get into a movie, and that was a dream. Like, I just want to be in an Adam Sandler movie.
Yeah, okay. Now you are.

Speaker 2 So then last summer, Spade calls me and goes, Hey man, will you do one line in my movie in Hawaii? And if anybody had asked me that,

Speaker 2 I'd be like,

Speaker 2 fuck you.

Speaker 2 Mark you. Fuck you.

Speaker 2 If I asked you, you would do it for me. There's rare occasions I would do it for you.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 But most people most people, I'd just be if, especially if my agent called me and goes this one line, he'd even talk me out of it probably and go,

Speaker 2 I don't think it's worth your time. But Spade wanted you to do it.
He called you directly. Yeah, Spade called me and I go,

Speaker 2 one line? I go, I don't know. And he goes, it's a big favor to me and Adam.
And that was like... To Igrit? No, Adam Sandler.
Oh.

Speaker 2 The other Adam.

Speaker 2 Who produced it. So I go, oh, fuck, maybe this is my way into that world.
And, you know, I went there and I was kind of just like, I have one line. So it was no pressure.

Speaker 2 I didn't, I slept fine that night. You know, so usually when I'm, I've been in a movie before.
Did you stay in that hotel that you guys shot in?

Speaker 2 No, it was a different hotel that they shot. But my point is,

Speaker 2 is within when I showed up,

Speaker 2 I'm on set and you know, I see all my friends are there with Towski. Love him.
He's so funny. So funny.

Speaker 2 Lapkis. Yeah.
Spade. Yeah.
And I'm

Speaker 2 and I do one take.

Speaker 2 Sandler's wife. I do one take, right? And then I hear cut.

Speaker 2 I shouldn't be talking about this.

Speaker 2 Why this isn't bad? It's not bad. I know.
I shouldn't be talking about this, but I hear cut, and then I see on my peripheral vision

Speaker 2 Mr. Sandler come across, you know what I mean? to come to me.
You gotta do it a different way.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. And

Speaker 2 it's just not right. Whatever I'm doing is not right, the vibe wasn't right, what he wanted.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think I was making because you know, back in the mad TV TV, mad TV days, if they gave me a line, I would do everything I can to get a laugh from that one line.

Speaker 2 Well, that was the that was the job, right? Right, that was even if it was like, you know, welcome to McDonald's, right? I would go, you know, do something,

Speaker 2 you know, me, I do a stutter or, you know, do what you would do, I would do something to get, especially in front of a live audience, do whatever I can to get a laugh.

Speaker 2 You'd go, welcome to Mega Dynamo.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You'd do it huge.
But I didn't do that. It's a movie, so I go, you know, I'll just play as real, but try to get a laugh.
And it just, every take was like, it's too broad.

Speaker 2 It's too, I don't understand what you're, you know. It just wasn't working.
So what you see in the movie is

Speaker 2 as, you know, what I did. And

Speaker 2 it hurt my feelings. Have you seen the whole film? You haven't watched it.
No. No.
So you don't even know what it is.

Speaker 2 Oh, I've seen the clips that I sent you the clip.

Speaker 2 Fans go,

Speaker 2 you got a line.

Speaker 2 And you find that condescending. I find it to be.

Speaker 2 Listen, I'm not like some of these other comics that, you know, are trying.

Speaker 2 I'm not like.

Speaker 2 I don't want to fucking name anybody. Okay, don't name anybody.

Speaker 2 But I've done a lot of TV shows and movies. It's not as if it's my first rodeo, baby.
Nah, papa binana napo.

Speaker 2 And I, um, so, you know, by doing one line, I'm doing a favor. I'm trying to, like, go, you know what? Try to be in service.
Yes, service the film. Service the film.
Yeah, that's the movie.

Speaker 2 And I did that, but in retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have done it. Well, here's the thing.
And you've been in those situations before, Bub. Come on, Bud.
I have the.

Speaker 2 You You want to have the fans get a real good laugh? Go ahead and watch James Franco's The Disaster Artist, which is based on the movie The Room, which is one of the worst movies of all time.

Speaker 2 Your boy is in four scenes? I'm in the first fucking scene. Like the first thing you see, it's my big fucking orange head.
Guess what I say? What?

Speaker 2 Nothing. This is, I go like this.
And they cut me out. I have literally zero dialogue.
Yeah. You see me about to say something four times.
Nathan Fielder and I had a whole bit in an alleyway,

Speaker 2 gone.

Speaker 2 I was so mad about it. I know.
Like so hurt by it. I know you were.
That I genuinely wanted to say something to Franco and be like, my guy,

Speaker 2 I respect what people do when they cut a movie and things end up on the editing floor. That's how it goes.
But then

Speaker 2 don't show me.

Speaker 2 What do you mean? Well, don't show me and I don't say anything.

Speaker 2 All right,

Speaker 2 don't show me. Cut around you.
Yeah, don't show me. cut around you.
That's what they're saying. Show me.
But if it's a wide shot and you're a little orange head, because

Speaker 2 it's not hard to miss your ugly orange head. VFX can do wild, cool stuff.
You could have just

Speaker 2 done something. Right.
Get rid of me. Get rid of me.
Cut around me.

Speaker 2 You know, you know how television and film works. You do.
No, because

Speaker 2 you do a thousand takes. There's a way to cut around me.
How cool is it, though, right? That I was a part of it. No, but how cool? Listen to this logic, though.

Speaker 2 Let's suppose I directed a movie, right? And I got just I directed a movie, and I had Tom Hardy in it, but I cut out all his lines. Yeah.
But he's still in it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And people are watching and go, oh, Tom Hardy. That's how cool Bobby Lee's movie is.
That even Tom Hardy is an extra. Yeah, but that would, that's Tom.
I'm me. That's Tom Hardy.

Speaker 2 He's a fucking superstar. I'm trying to.
You're a superstar, too. No, I'm trying to.

Speaker 2 Who is being an orange head? I'm trying to be. Bill Burr only.
Bill Burr is huge. Yeah.
Louis Secretary. Great Fitzsimmons.
Nah, he doesn't have hair anymore. Neither of them do.

Speaker 2 Okay, Louis. Yeah.
Redheads are, there's a bunch of Louis, Burr, Burr, Fitz, Fitzsimmons,

Speaker 2 Carrotop, Kathy Griffin, Kathy Griffin, Lucille Ball, R.I.P.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 There's a lot. A lot of Redheads.
You're right. And you're like the last one.

Speaker 2 I'm seventh. No, you're probably

Speaker 2 up there. No,

Speaker 2 my point is, I have no disrespect to James and to Seth and those guys. I think Seth and Evan, I love those guys.
I wanted to be a part of their camp too, just like you want to be a Sandler.

Speaker 2 The thing that broke my heart was I went to the fucking premiere, dude. Did they tell you before you went to the premiere? They don't tell you.

Speaker 2 Oh my God, if I was in the audience and I saw that, I would probably kill myself right there in the theater. So I almost did.

Speaker 2 I mean, I can imagine you in the theater watching the whole thing and what was going through your head.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's joy. So here's what happened.

Speaker 2 I like it. I went to the, it was at the Man's Chinese Theater.
It was at the premiere. Your uncle, your uncle Chung Man owns it.
And Wong Man, sorry, the Wong Man.

Speaker 2 And I went to the premiere. We sat in the very far back corners,

Speaker 2 me and my lady. And

Speaker 2 the movie starts, and I see it, and I'm kind of getting into it. And then I think, oh, okay, okay.

Speaker 2 Well, they didn't use me at this front scene, even though I had a really funny line to James, da, da, da, da. It's okay.
And then I see the next one, and I was like,

Speaker 2 I was at the lunch table. I thought I had some really funny lines to June Diane Raphael.
You know who she is, right? Yeah. And then I thought, oh, this.
And then me, her, and Paul Scheer

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 Davey Franco were in this other room together. And then I thought, well, this scene literally calls for us to make fun of the other scene.
It's us. It's us.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 then nothing there. And so then I get to the fourth time I come on camera.

Speaker 2 If I was next to you, I would have been laughing the whole time. And I get so hurt by it that I mean this.

Speaker 2 As we're leaving,

Speaker 2 I had a full-fledged panic attack. My blood pressure went up.
I couldn't see. I was getting, like, I couldn't breathe.
So I grabbed my wife's hand and I was like, let's go. Let's go immediately.

Speaker 2 Like, let's get in the fucking car. And what did you get the fuck out of here? She was, she was so bummed for me.
She was just super hurt. She was like, it's okay.

Speaker 2 She goes, do you want to show your face at the party? Because people that don't know, after you do a premiere, you have to go to this after party. Did you go? No.

Speaker 2 I went right to my house and I sat in my fucking bed. And I'm not kidding.

Speaker 2 I didn't sleep for like two days because I was just like, this must mean I suck this must mean they don't like me this must mean I'm fucking dog shit all this dude like tortured me over and over and then a piece of me was like and then I felt bad that I didn't go to the party oh am I a fucking why wouldn't I go to that party now they're gonna be like that guy's a fucking asshole he didn't even go to the party all of that stuff was going through my head

Speaker 2 and you know come to come to know that those guys don't give a fuck they have to do what they have to do it's like they didn't do that on purpose it's a thing it's a nobody cares that's my point is like it's over it's in the past it's not there was no reason for it It was just, it was what it was.

Speaker 2 But I've always wanted to be a part of a camp. I think that's the problem.

Speaker 2 Of course we want to be a part of a camp. Schwartz's in the Sandler camp for a while.
But he's been in there for a long time. I know, but I'm saying, though, you know, Ken Jung's in a camp.

Speaker 2 Which camp? What was he in?

Speaker 2 He's in the Apatau, that kind of camp. No, he's not.
Ken Jong? No, he's not.

Speaker 2 Not really.

Speaker 2 Ken just gets a lot of work. He just gets work.

Speaker 2 Hangover got him a lot of work. He's not in like a camp camp.

Speaker 2 Like Schwartz and those guys i get it all the guys that do sandler films uh schneider they're all in the same spadey they're all in the same that makes sense

Speaker 2 and and evan and uh seth and evan the uh do a lot of the same kind of people franco and his brother and yeah yeah dude those are great places to be we had to create our own camp at the point well let's create our own camp

Speaker 2 who would be in your camp oh shit i would My camp? Yeah, am I in it? Oh, yeah, 100%. Right on.
If I had a camp, let's say I I was a full-fledged writer-director. Let's say you had a huge studio deal.

Speaker 2 Universal gave you a huge, like, 10-picture deal, and they're like, Bobby,

Speaker 2 you have a bungalow on the lot.

Speaker 2 You can hire writers and actors and directors. Who are you picking?

Speaker 2 Wow, that's difficult. But I would probably do

Speaker 2 you.

Speaker 2 I would try to help my friends that I think are really good that don't work as much as I think they should. Who do you think is really good that doesn't work enough? Rosenbaum.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Michael Rosenbaum. I think Michael Rosenbaum is very funny.
I've got to text him back. I have to text him back about doing this show.

Speaker 2 I feel bad. I just remembered that.
Yeah, I would probably sasso.

Speaker 2 Easily one of the funniest people in the world.

Speaker 2 I would use this also as the standard, but a lot of chicks too. I'd probably use.

Speaker 2 You know what? I like Melissa Vienzenior a lot.

Speaker 2 One of my closest friends. Yeah, there'd be a bunch, but I

Speaker 2 love her. Probably

Speaker 2 Jay Catapretta, maybe. Would you hire Griff? Of course.
I'd have to.

Speaker 2 As what? Security.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? How How you go into the lot and he is the one that checks the ID? You got to pass. You got to pass.
Yeah. You can't get on the lot, man.
Send a drive-on, man. You got to pass.

Speaker 2 You're not who it is, man. Or let me call.
Let me call. You know how they call? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think I already told you about

Speaker 2 just, I've had so many problems at those gates. Oh, it's endless.

Speaker 2 For people that don't know, when you go up to a gate, Warner Brothers Universal, one of these lots, they have to check your ID and you have to have a drive-on pass to get your car on there.

Speaker 2 And if they don't, they embarrass you and they make you pull over to the side while everyone just like scans in. Yeah.
And they have to call and go, yeah, he's out here.

Speaker 2 It's

Speaker 2 pitched with Howie Mandel and Joe Coy before the quarantine. Yeah.
And I was at,

Speaker 2 it was a Netflix or someplace like that. And I'm at the gate and I'm telling him, I'm on the list.
Like, you're not on the list, man. Get out of here.

Speaker 2 He says, get out of here. Shut up.
I'm not kidding you. I go, get out of here.
I swear to God, I'm with Howie Mandel. He just texted me.
Right? He goes, now you don't know how to get out of here.

Speaker 2 What do you think? You were like a. And then I hear Howie go, hey, Bobby Lee.

Speaker 2 I go like this. And you could see the security guy's face go, just drop and go,

Speaker 2 all right.

Speaker 2 Did this guy have like a vendetta against you? No, it's just, I don't look like I should be in show business. Yes, you do.
No, I don't. Yeah, you do.
No. You do.
No, I was at a hotel rose.

Speaker 2 Me, Jordan Peele, and Arden Maureen were publicizing

Speaker 2 Mad TV, and I was at a hotel. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I was sitting outside, and the security guard comes up to me and goes, get off the premises.

Speaker 2 Shut up. That's it.
The first thing comes out to us. I go, what did I do? What? Why? I only guess.
Because it was in a really nice hotel.

Speaker 2 And I always look, you know what I mean, like I'm a black market pineapple smuggler.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? Yeah. Just like shady.
Yeah. Like I have a human trafficking business on the side.
Yeah, you're up to something.

Speaker 2 You're driving a U-Haul for some reason. And without even asking me, are you a guest or anything like that? His opening line was, get off the premises or I'll call the police.
I like this guy.

Speaker 2 No, but I'm just saying that I just have that vibe, I think. I don't feel, I don't look,

Speaker 2 here's another thing.

Speaker 2 I did this Nickelodeon show once and I show up to Paramount and

Speaker 2 I go to the lady and she goes, all right, in this room.

Speaker 2 And I go, what room? I'm Bobby Lee. She goes, I know, in this room.
So I go in the room and it's like 10,000 extras.

Speaker 2 And I wanted to say to her, you know, I was a principal on it.

Speaker 2 But instead of saying that, I go, okay.

Speaker 2 And you just did it. I just sat there for an hour.
Why would you do that? So that that lady would get in trouble. You wanted to get this woman fired because you're designed?

Speaker 2 So then

Speaker 2 my agent calls me. I'm sitting there and he goes, she goes, where are you?

Speaker 2 I go, I'm here. I was here early.
I'm in the fucking extra stable.

Speaker 2 He goes, what?

Speaker 2 Yeah, that lady, the blonde lady with the thing, sent me here. And then she comes up to me.
And she goes, are you Bobby Lee?

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're the one.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I told you I was. But you're not supposed to be.

Speaker 2 You sent me in here. And she got in so much trouble.
She probably got fired. I don't give a fuck.
Don't do that. That girl's probably making like six bucks.
Know who's coming. Know who's coming.

Speaker 2 Know who's coming. Know who's coming.
I've done so many of those little weird things. I can't do that.
That's why. It's too mean.
It's too mean.

Speaker 2 I just, I, who cares sometimes? When someone goes, I've been treated like that. Oh, I show up for a show.
Fight for yourself. Nah.

Speaker 2 When I did the second episode for This Is Us, when I went back there,

Speaker 2 there are many. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I didn't.

Speaker 2 It's like a comedy club not letting you in.

Speaker 2 And you headline. I don't care enough.
I care. It's disrespectful.
I didn't do

Speaker 2 10 years of open mics. You did.
I know I did. Yeah.
But I didn't do it. You could still use a couple more, to be honest.

Speaker 2 To be burned. Maybe I will move to sexy.
Stop. Don't move to Texas.

Speaker 2 Maybe I will. So, what do you believe? What do you believe? The conspiracy, by the way.
You believe that this is baloney pony pudding pie? I don't believe that.

Speaker 2 Oh, shit. Let me play you something.

Speaker 2 Let me play you something.

Speaker 2 Your lovely girl sent me this, as you know, okay?

Speaker 2 This is something that we

Speaker 2 this is something that we have on the show here.

Speaker 2 This was from before.

Speaker 2 This is you. This is totty.
This is Tutti Bobo.

Speaker 2 That's how I wake up. This is Tootie Bobo.
This is waking up at about 2.45. We played this a couple weeks ago.
There he goes.

Speaker 2 There he goes. Come back this way.
Come back this way.

Speaker 2 I really like that. Yeah.
Did you hear that, Jewel? Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know what I did? That fart, that fart.

Speaker 2 She's so turned off by my farts that what I do at nights, I have a system now. It's so gross.
I know. I have a system because I have a very tight butthole.

Speaker 2 Well, a guy named Spencer Tritt did you a favor. So what I do at nights, can I just finish what I'm my point? Fuck not?

Speaker 2 So what I do is I take both fingers when I have to fart. Oh, boy.
And I spread my cheeks as wide as I can to create the biggest opening.

Speaker 2 And it goes like

Speaker 2 a loose cleave. It goes

Speaker 2 like that. And then I trap the fart in the blanket and i but did you know this and this is science yeah

Speaker 2 no matter how long you trap it stays it's day yeah i know it doesn't go away so i don't know you know i should went to biology class or something but you know that's science you learn everything new every day you know

Speaker 2 so mean i know it's so gross what are you gonna do I'm old. My body, I think the mechanisms.
But you just roll over, get out of bed, fart, and get back in. That's what I do.
I get out, get out, fart.

Speaker 2 But you get off the bed. If it's going going to be a bad one, if it's going to be a bad one, do you ever think when you fart into the mattress, does it stay in there? How long?

Speaker 2 Like, I think about that. How many poo particles stay inside of there? Oh, probably a lot.
So many. Yeah, yeah.
Listen to what this boy did for you for that

Speaker 2 fart sound. Listen how good this is.
Another fucking techno kid sent us something that I'm amazed by.

Speaker 2 Listen,

Speaker 2 how good is this?

Speaker 2 So good. It's really actually good.
This kid's name is Fractal Beef. Rudy, you like it?

Speaker 2 Shout out to Spencer Tritt.

Speaker 2 It's so good.

Speaker 2 I mean, that's really

Speaker 2 talented fans. Dude, that's the point.
So many talented fans. Thank you so much.
Thank you for that kind of stuff, man. We have so many talented fans.

Speaker 2 Tell me about, tell me, seriously, tell me about your conspiracy. Shout out to Raimi and

Speaker 2 Russia from Georgia. You watched Rogan and you bought into the thing that you believe that it's...

Speaker 2 I told Rudy before they did a study in the Philippines that he talked about on there.

Speaker 2 In the Philippines, they found that people that have higher levels of vitamin D had seven times

Speaker 2 the chances of having a less severe COVID infection. You know, they're saying sun helps a lot.
Yeah, vitamin D. Guess who has the highest, yeah, vitamin D from the sun.
Who has it? Orangehead.

Speaker 2 The orange, yes. The oranges.
Redheads

Speaker 2 have super high levels of vitamin D. Why do we produce high levels of vitamin D? Guess.
Because of the sun. Because

Speaker 2 we're not supposed to be outside. Yeah.
So our body naturally, like a superhero, I make tons of vitamin D. Wow.

Speaker 2 I didn't know that. I tried to Google it to try to find out if any redheads have died from COVID.
Yeah. And they don't categorize you by hair, but they should.
They should.

Speaker 2 You know, but they do make a point that if, here's the,

Speaker 2 I want to be mindful, and

Speaker 2 I really feel even

Speaker 2 we've had 85,000 deaths in this country. A lot of people are so sad.
A lot of people have died. And it's devastating.
It is. And I feel so bad for their families.

Speaker 2 But we, but there, you know, when I talked to Adam Eget yesterday. I talked to him yesterday, too.
What time did, when did he say that the comedy store might open? September. Me too.
He said that.

Speaker 2 But here's the caveat.

Speaker 2 September caveat means here's the exception to the rule. Do you really? Exception to the rule.

Speaker 2 The caveat he said was that it's going to be half capacities in most of those rooms. And they won't be able to open all of them anyway.

Speaker 2 So what that really means is what I said the other day before you get into your, your honest truth depiction,

Speaker 2 I said to Rudy before the show, I said, I believe in my heart. And I'm not trying to sound like a crazy person.

Speaker 2 I believe that it's real. It is all real.
but I do think they're not telling us something.

Speaker 2 And it's gonna, when it does come out, it's gonna fucking blow, it's gonna be the scariest world-changing event.

Speaker 2 Wait, wait, you think that I think they know something, and the reason that they extended our stay for indoors for three more months is because they can't tell us something that you think that

Speaker 2 it's a lie, no, or you think that

Speaker 2 coronavirus can mutate into something even crazier. I think there's a bigger detail that we don't know about.

Speaker 2 I think international fucking, I think there's international conversation between massive world leaders, and essentially in my stupid dumb make it up while I'm running in the middle of the night

Speaker 2 I think this was a threat it was a this is what's gonna happen you think this was a biological weapon that was

Speaker 2 100% a biological weapon that the Ching Chungs created to destroy America I don't even think it was them actually if I'm being honest Irish no the Irish are the greatest people on earth

Speaker 2 I wouldn't do that my bad no but do you know that the lab in Wuhan the sister lab is in South Carolina here in the United States they actually did not they actually disproved a wet market theory.

Speaker 2 That's not, it didn't come from a wet market. Yeah, no, I believe that it did come from a lab.
Not only did it come from a lab, nobody knows where that lab, which lab it came from.

Speaker 2 It didn't, it's not the lab in America. How do you know? How the fuck would it be? Because it happened in Wuhan first.
It doesn't matter, dude. That could be the way that they start that viral spread.

Speaker 2 If they contain it,

Speaker 2 these are sister labs.

Speaker 2 We don't know what we're talking about.

Speaker 2 We don't. I think they don't.
They're not telling us one big thing.

Speaker 2 And at the end of the year, they're going to go, fuck here's what's going on with that there's we got a huge make something up make something up they said here's what's going on yeah kim jong-un called up some of his homies they fucking plotted some shit they broke into a lab in the middle of the night and these these chinese lab guys are like what do you do here and then the korean the fucking north koreans are like fucking

Speaker 2 choked them the fuck out what and they took the vial and they

Speaker 2 spread it over wuhan we're i'm laughing with the accent first go ahead what the korean why we

Speaker 2 well because the Chinese is... Why are we doing here? What do you do here?

Speaker 2 And the Korean guy is like,

Speaker 2 that's Japanese. But they're there too.

Speaker 2 That's not the first thing that they would say if they walked into it.

Speaker 2 What do we do here? What do you do here? That's not the first thing. And then the Korean guys go,

Speaker 2 and they grab the vial. It's so racist.
And they break it and it starts to spread. Oh, shit.
But they were sent there by people from around the world. It was a World War II.

Speaker 2 Why can't they just say that? That's what happened. It seems like.
It's because a war is about to break out. World War III, motherfucker.
That's what's going to happen. That's what's going to happen.

Speaker 2 I sound like Sam Tripoli. Yeah, you do.
You're the one that doesn't believe in it. I believe in it.
I just know there's something they're not telling us. Yeah,

Speaker 2 they're not telling us something. But if they're okay,

Speaker 2 what I've read is that the fastest we've ever come up with a vaccine is four years.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they said it would take two years to get it everywhere. Two years to get this vaccine at the earliest.
Yes. Okay.
Bayer.

Speaker 2 So we have to now go, do we quarantine until then, or should we try to adjust and go out and

Speaker 2 live our lives with this pandemic? Do you want to just go out and live?

Speaker 2 You can be honest. It's okay to say yes.

Speaker 2 You do. You want to go out and live.
Rude, do you want to go out and live? She doesn't. No.
Because when we walked, this is bullshit. Look at that.
She instinctively walked.

Speaker 2 You know what she just did today?

Speaker 2 We left the house. Yeah.
And my friend Jeff, a dear friend of mine. Jeff, who? I forgot his last name.
Do I know him?

Speaker 2 Okay, never mind.

Speaker 2 Your dearest friend, Jeff.

Speaker 2 Jeff Blank. My best friend.
I don't know who his last name.

Speaker 2 Let's make up a name. Yeah.
Jeff Bulbus.

Speaker 2 Jeff Bulbus. Jeff Bulbus.
We hired my friend Jeff because we got a bunch of furniture. I'm sure you did.
And I don't know how to build it. I know.
You're not going to build that.

Speaker 2 You need a handyman. Yeah.
So we were paying this guy to build it. So he was in the garage.
And as we walked out of the house, Jeff goes, what's up, man? I go, Jeff!

Speaker 2 And then fucking Rudy, Baby, Uncle Tito, Uncle Tito, don't even get close to him.

Speaker 2 Don't get close to him, Uncle Tito. I go, he's my friend.
No, no, no, no. He got, I think he got it.
Don't get close to him. Do you think he had the Rona?

Speaker 2 No, but still, you have to be six feet away. Oh, were you really shocked? He's one of those clinical like.
Did you hug him? No.

Speaker 2 So I was supposed to. He was doing this thing.
He went to hug him. You went to go hug him.
That was my, when you, I'm sorry. It's an instinct.
It's my instinct. And you said, Tito, Babby, don't.

Speaker 2 Don't go.

Speaker 2 go for him. It's like if I saw a samurai, I would bow.
You know what I mean? But that's my instinct because of my old traditional

Speaker 2 training. So that's in the Ronin.
As a Ronin. As a Ronan.
Yeah, yeah. So what happened? Did he went and he hugged him or no? No, he stopped.
Did you snitch? No. She will snitch.

Speaker 2 She's a fucking snitch, this little one. Did you snitch? No.
Look at me. Did you snitch? No.
No, we had no chant time because we're. So she didn't snitch to Kalila?

Speaker 2 No, but she is a snitch, and it drives me crazy. She's not on my side.
She told me

Speaker 2 she told me she collects notes in her phone about all the stuff that you do that she's going to hold against you. She's got a blackmail note folder.
Yeah, but hereby, we haven't paid her yet.

Speaker 2 I know we need to pay her. No, we'll wait.

Speaker 2 We shall wait. Write it down.
We'll wait. That's true.

Speaker 2 No need no blackmail. We're blackmailing her.
Yeah, yeah, we're blackmailing her.

Speaker 2 We're brown mailing you. Yeah, but I don't, you know, you know, you know, because Callan and Rogan and some of these guys.
Well, those guys, Callan and Shab and Theo, those guys all get together.

Speaker 2 They all get together. Well, they don't care.

Speaker 2 But to be fair, and then it's like Whitney, it's like Whitney will have Steve-O and a bunch of people coming to her. Spades at her house today.
I know, I saw. And it's like, you know,

Speaker 2 and we don't do that. Well, you went to her house.
I went to her house. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you went to her.
Yeah, I went to her house. I was one of the first ones to go to her house.
Yeah, but

Speaker 2 that was more because

Speaker 2 she's like a lonely lady.

Speaker 2 She's very sad that she needed someone to come over. And Tim Dylan and I went over there to console her.
She said, will someone braid my hair? And you have to go braid her hair.

Speaker 2 It's so funny because Whitney Cummings is like,

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm going to just buy a house in the middle of nowhere. You've been out there.
It's so far away. So far away.
In the middle of nowhere.

Speaker 2 And then when you go to her house, it's like, look, there's no houses around. Yeah, I know.
And I'm like, you're a fucking witch now.

Speaker 2 You might as well have that pot and you stir it. You know what I mean? You're like the crazy.

Speaker 2 Yeah. She sits outside in her backyard and she talks to the coyotes.
Yeah. Come closer, coyotes.

Speaker 2 And she's got 52 dogs. Too many fucking dogs.

Speaker 2 One of her dogs bit somebody. Did she tell you that? No, no, no.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 she'll tell you. I don't know which one of the fucking one of the dogs bit somebody.
But you know what?

Speaker 2 People are. Here's what I think.
People just want to feel normal, right?

Speaker 2 Like we had two people come over in the backyard and hang out. And we just stayed in the backyard nowhere near each other.
And I missed it so much.

Speaker 2 I missed it so much. Just like, and then when they left, it was like this weird, like, okay, bye.
And they had to, like, you know, it's just, people want to feel normal again. That's all.
It sucks.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you know, I, in the beginning, when the quarantine happened, I go, this is nice. This is cool.
Yeah. And I want to say something that's,

Speaker 2 I don't know if I say it.

Speaker 2 What was nice about it is

Speaker 2 the competitiveness went away with other comics? Oh, right. You mean like the

Speaker 2 resentments and that jealousy and all that stuff had stopped because we were all now in limbo, right? We're all kind of on the same page almost. We're on the page.

Speaker 2 Like no one can do stand-up right now. No one can sell out stadiums.
Right. You know, and in the beginning, I'm like, this is good.

Speaker 2 We're all like at the starting line or whatever, or we're all in the penalty box. Right.
We're all in this, yeah, we're not in play. Right.
That's good. But now I miss the competitiveness of life.

Speaker 2 So much. Yeah.
I miss, you know, getting things and not getting things.

Speaker 2 I miss having something to complain about. Like when you're like, I got to go to this fucking audition.
I got to drive all the way over here. I liked it.
Like

Speaker 2 we complained about it, but I loved it. It was so much fun to just like, because it's something to have in your life.
It's something to like fill, occupy your time with emotion.

Speaker 2 Now it's like a still, it's such a fucking still

Speaker 2 numb thing that you're trying to find some shit to do. It's driving me fucking insane.
I ran six and a half miles last night.

Speaker 2 I was only supposed to do four, and I was like, whatever, I'll just keep going. There was nothing to go home.
There's nothing to do with the house.

Speaker 2 Warzone?

Speaker 2 Yeah, but this was at 7 p.m. I know.

Speaker 2 You're not playing before 11. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm just telling you that, like, you said that you were good at first-person shooter games. I am.
I am good at first-person shooter games. I'm not going to be led around by Eric Griffin.
That's all.

Speaker 2 Okay. I'm not going to be led around by him.
Oh, by the way, before I forget, we got our video response back from our girlfriend, Rose.

Speaker 2 No. Yes.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't wait, I can't wait.

Speaker 2 Okay, so this will be good. Ready?

Speaker 2 Hi, Bobby. Hi, Andrew.
This me,

Speaker 2 how are you guys?

Speaker 2 You know what? I always believe that love is more than a gender. It's more than anything.
Actually, love is love.

Speaker 2 I just want to say that I'm very, very, very proud of you. Guys, please, please, please always stay strong.

Speaker 2 Most especially that your adoption to

Speaker 2 Little Anna

Speaker 2 baby will come true.

Speaker 2 I love you guys and always stay safe, okay?

Speaker 2 Love you.

Speaker 2 How sweet is that?

Speaker 2 Yeah, that was a good one. She was very nice.
We have to do another one. How many more can we do with her? We should have to keep asking her to do every week.
We should do one.

Speaker 2 You want want to do another one? Yeah, let's do one.

Speaker 2 I propose an idea. Just a very simple things that doesn't make any sense.
Can we just tell her, just say, Lulu Lala. Lulu Tala.
Like some weird thing, like Lulu magic bus. This is the thing.

Speaker 2 She might not say that. Magic bus, magic bus.
Magic bus.

Speaker 2 Happy for tutut, magic bus. Yeah, yeah.
Happy, that's it. Happy for tootut, magic bus.
Yeah, we'll do that. Happy for to-tut magic bus.
That's it. And that's all we want.
That's all we want. Okay.

Speaker 2 So we'll do do one that for next week we'll do one next week and we'll get her but that was very sweet of her that was really nice that she did that she's got the fan blowing in the background

Speaker 2 hi Bobby hi I'm so sweet she is so nice what a sweet girl you like her yeah do you do does she remind you of home kinda yeah she does yeah she misses home you do should we send you back

Speaker 2 can we send you back right now we tried to buy you a flight that one time we couldn't buy you a flight what about a boat how long would it take to boat like what do you you miss about home what i mean what what's you what get talk in the mic jules all right no get your mouth to the mic what do you miss about home uh my friends your friends and then my dogs your dogs oh oh that's so sad but did you notice she didn't say her brothers well she has two little brothers she hates how old are they um six and seven yeah those are that's the worst they're little assholes they're little idiots they they smell like poop i know right they have shit all over them They suck.

Speaker 2 Last week, we got a lot of hoorah for

Speaker 2 the fire stand-up comedy of Andres Rosende. This dude was a beast, right?

Speaker 2 I want to show you, we found something

Speaker 2 from his earlier days of trying to get movies produced. You're going to fucking really love this, by the way.

Speaker 2 Look at he was, he did a Kickstarter. By the way, it got funded.
$10,000. He asked for it and he got it.
And this is it.

Speaker 2 He directed it?

Speaker 2 Yeah. This is a Kickstarter.

Speaker 2 Would you push pause for a second?

Speaker 2 Just, I want to let you know, the reason why I know Andreas in the first place is I knew him as a director. You did? Yeah, because this is how I met George.
I met George and Andreas at the same time.

Speaker 2 So years ago, I was at Maker Studios. I remember.
And I met George. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then one of the first sketches, he told me, I know this really good director from Spain, and he's going to direct the sketch. So he directed me in a sketch.
Did he? That's how I met Andreas.

Speaker 2 He's great. So let's see the movie.

Speaker 2 Well, this is the patreon to get the movie funded. I mean, I'm sorry, this is the Kickstarter to get the movie funded.

Speaker 2 Hello, Kickstarters, and welcome to what will hopefully be the center of my new movie, Mr. Bear.

Speaker 2 My name is Andrew Lossende, and I'm an MFA from Canter at Columbia University. And Mr.
Bear is my thesis film.

Speaker 2 And Steve needs now to face the biggest decision of his life: either go ahead and get rid of the bloody corpse or become one himself.

Speaker 2 As you can see, this is gonna be a kick-ass movie.

Speaker 2 So, if you wanna know how the story ends, please, we need your support.

Speaker 2 And now they beg for money for the next 20 minutes.

Speaker 2 It worked. We have to see this movie.
What we have to do is during this, how about this? During this coronavirus,

Speaker 2 this pandemic, let's have Andreas write us a short. And shoot it? Let's shoot it.
I'm 100% down. I'm being real.
So am I. But Jules has to have lines in it.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Do you want to do that?

Speaker 2 If Andreas wrote a movie, a short, with me and Andrew, would you do it? Maybe it's a quick heist thing where you're trying to, I'm a Korean jeweler or something and you're trying to.

Speaker 2 And I try to rob you? Yeah, something like that. I take you hostage.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Or maybe like there's just one scene in a movie. You're a jeweler and you're going to check on your store because it's been shut down during the pandy.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And you see that I'm breaking in there and I take you hostage. And like Dog Day Afternoon.
Do you ever see Dog Day Afternoon? Yeah. You never saw it? Yeah, I loved it.
Yeah, really? Yeah. Who's in it?

Speaker 2 Dog Day Afternoon.

Speaker 2 Al Pacino was in it. And you know who else was in it? Is John Cassettes? Is that his name?

Speaker 2 John Cavetis.

Speaker 2 Is that it? What is his name?

Speaker 2 What's his name? That's it? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And Dog Day Afternoon is they

Speaker 2 try dogs to race.

Speaker 2 Is that what it is? Have you never seen it for real? How did you get it?

Speaker 2 Of course I've fucking seen it.

Speaker 2 They try to rob the bank. And then what happens? And it's a true story.
And it's a fumble. They fumble this bank robbery all day, right? And it's a true story.

Speaker 2 I even saw the documentary based on the guy. So let's do our Dog Day Afternoon.
Yeah, but so you and I, we have to find a bank to do it. No, we'll find a bill.
We'll find a studio.

Speaker 2 We'll do it inside of a closed studio. So you and I are in cahoots.
We're both bank robbers?

Speaker 2 We don't find that out to the end. Oh, right.
I'm a teller then?

Speaker 2 You, you, you, no, no, no, not a bank, jewelry. Oh, jewelry.
I'm a jewelry. Yeah, and you work with me in the jewelry.
And I hold both of you hostage. Right.

Speaker 2 And the police come and there's a hostage negotiation. And we fool them to thinking that if they just give me what I need, I'll let you guys go.
But in turn, you're working with me.

Speaker 2 And we have an escape plan, and Rudy is the one that gets us out of there. She's in the helicopter.
Nobody knows. She can fly a fucking.
She's like, I'm from Philippines. I don't know.

Speaker 2 Next end of the scene,

Speaker 2 and she's like, Come on, rope it down, let's go. Hey, Red, I don't know why you come into your.
I'm going to have that accent.

Speaker 2 I don't know why you come into my jewelry store to try to rob me, my friend.

Speaker 2 What's my act? What am I playing? What's my act? I don't know. You can make it up.
Okay,

Speaker 2 okay. Hey, wave, you hold me up first.

Speaker 2 You. Oh.

Speaker 2 What the fuck?

Speaker 2 What? Are you a

Speaker 2 Franken orange?

Speaker 2 No, don't do that. Why? That's like that.
Be real. Be real.

Speaker 2 Be real. All right, all right.
Yeah, yeah. Hey, you, you

Speaker 2 stupid Asian piece of shit. Whoa.
Put your hands up. Whoa.

Speaker 2 And you too, lady. Put your hands up now.
Oh,

Speaker 2 my God. Oh, you're so scared.
Don't call the cops. If you hit that panic button, I'll shoot both of you in the face.

Speaker 2 Give me all the jewelry. Okay.
Where's the diamonds? In the vault, Labor. Take us to the vault.
No, no, put your hands up.

Speaker 2 We'll go. Both of them.
And then.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I just did.
Yeah, there we go.

Speaker 2 I'm fucking you in the ass right now.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a pointy dick.
And the cops come.

Speaker 2 Oh, like, okay, we'll have it. Just have Andreas ride it.

Speaker 2 I'm being real, though, because

Speaker 2 I have to figure out something creative to do in this.

Speaker 2 This podcast ain't doing it for me. No, I love it.
No,

Speaker 2 I'm grateful for it. And I would die without it.
You just want more. You want more.
I want to be able to do more because just during the weeks, they just blend together.

Speaker 2 I don't know what day it is sometimes. It's really fucking sad, man.
Well, honestly. It's hard to be even funny in this fucking situation.
That's all.

Speaker 2 We're destined to do some kind of movie or something together. We need to do something.
We need to do something, yeah. This This was us.
Somebody found footage of us from a long time ago.

Speaker 2 Look at how great this is. This is us.

Speaker 2 This is this guy, Doug Bento, sent this to us. This is us on a game show from many years from the 80s.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you and I did a game show together.

Speaker 2 I remember that. When we refer to someone as yellow, we consider them to be what?

Speaker 2 Chinese. Not Chinese.
Over to Jerry and Murray. Now, yes, Jerry.

Speaker 2 Cowardly. Cowardly is correct.

Speaker 2 When we find someone to be yellow, what are they? Uh, Chinese.

Speaker 2 Not Chinese. Over to the Chinese kid.
Oh, cowardly.

Speaker 2 How great. That's like one of the greatest clips I've ever seen.
Also, it's like,

Speaker 2 do you think that kid got canceled? No, you can't get it. It plays a canceled.

Speaker 2 When we refer to someone as yellow, we consider them to be what?

Speaker 2 Chinese. Pushbonds are.
Pushbonds are there. to Jerry and

Speaker 2 when the guy says no,

Speaker 2 probably 90% of America's like, what is it then? It is Chinese. Yeah, it is Chinese.
By the way, you can tell this is Britain, by the way. Oh, yeah.
Look at British people.

Speaker 2 Listen to the way he sounds. He says.

Speaker 2 As yellow.

Speaker 2 We consider them to be what? Watch his face.

Speaker 2 Chinese. Not Chinese.
Over to Jerry and Ma. Look at how bummed he is.
I know. He's like, it is Chinese.
Watch when he goes. When he says Chinese, he goes, no, watch his face.
Not Chinese.

Speaker 2 Over to Jerry and Ma.

Speaker 2 Oh, like, oh. yes, it is.

Speaker 2 That's what my dad calls them all the time.

Speaker 2 Yellow bastards.

Speaker 2 Yellow bastards.

Speaker 2 Get off our lawn, yellow bastards.

Speaker 2 Cowardly is correct.

Speaker 2 And then during the commercial break, the Asian guy goes to the orange. You're right.

Speaker 2 Like, just to make him feel better.

Speaker 2 You're probably right.

Speaker 2 We agree. We agree.
We agree, but you know. How weird that this, that, of course, and look at his little face is looking over like

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 2 He's hating on the red end. Can I just say something? In school, you don't think that when I saw that kid in school in my class, I went,

Speaker 2 fucking chongchongs.

Speaker 2 Because I hate Asians like that. Why? Because those are the ones that fuck up the curve.
Do you hate Asians like that, Rud? Yeah. You do? Yeah.
I'm the one. that people cheat off of and we all fail.

Speaker 2 Right. Right? But everybody wants to cheat off of people.

Speaker 2 yeah so there's two different types so you're the other i'm the other type the dumb one but you don't like them because they're they're they're they're making they're they're progressive they're doing their they're too smart there's just like there's you know a lot of asians are very sciencey you know and mathematics they're good at mathematics right yeah but you have to understand that in every country you have coal miners as well sure and i come from that lineage what about you

Speaker 2 i don't know are you a math girl she gets straight a's why do you hate this kind of she gets straight A's. Why do you hate this kind of Asian?

Speaker 2 There's a lot in my school, and they're like very, like, they think of a lot of Asians as stupid. So they think if you're not like them, you're stupid? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I remember going to, I was in rehab in my junior year in high school.
Yeah. And when I got out of school, I remember the teacher, our teacher, history teacher, goes to the class.

Speaker 2 So Bobby just got out of rehab. She makes an announcement.
Why would she say that? Because I missed a bunch of,

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 discuss

Speaker 2 the journey that you just had. I go, yeah, I just was on drugs and now I'm sober.
She made you that in front of us.

Speaker 2 And a Chinese guy raises his hand and goes, why do you have to do drug in the first place?

Speaker 2 And I remember turning to the guy going, you fucking gook fuck.

Speaker 2 So you know, I think the same thing. I'm that guy that says yellow.
You think, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
You're more racist than I am. I, dude, I honestly.
Do you want something to wipe up that coffee?

Speaker 2 I just saw your mind going up.

Speaker 2 Honestly, dude, it's just like, I don't even really identify with it. What do you identify as?

Speaker 2 Nothing.

Speaker 2 I more identify with

Speaker 2 a strange guy. Do you forget that you're Asian until someone says something strange? I don't even think of it.
Do you ever think, Jules, do you ever think that you're Asian?

Speaker 2 No. Yeah.

Speaker 2 What white people don't get is that when you wake up, you don't go,

Speaker 2 I'm Asian. You don't think that.
The only way, of course you don't think that. I'm saying

Speaker 2 it's not conscious until someone says something about it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you realize, you know, like my friend PK sent, put a post off on his Instagram, and there's a bunch of white chicks in a mall, and they're like, what kind of race would you never date?

Speaker 2 It's all these white chicks going, Asian definitely. Grouse.
Right. Right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And those are the moments where I realize, oh am i different yeah very yeah what very i said very i know you said that but what do you mean by that because like black people are cool and they have all that they've they're cool and they have culture and music and and mexicans are fun and they have good food

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 2 and like

Speaker 2 great cars great style yeah and and and you guys are um

Speaker 2 you're just buying up land and

Speaker 2 you're gonna come here to buy the land.

Speaker 2 We're so much more than that. I know, dude.
I'm clearly fucking kidding around. No, you know, you're stop it.
Stop it. You know how much I love Asians.
Some of them. Some of them.

Speaker 2 Some of them. Yeah.
Which one do I, which one? Which one do you think I don't like the most?

Speaker 2 You know.

Speaker 2 You know.

Speaker 2 Hey. Vietnamese.
No. Japanese.
No. Korean.
No. Chinese? No.
Wuhan? No.

Speaker 2 Cambodians? Yep. No, really? No.

Speaker 2 I don't hate anybody. I don't have time to do that shit.
What a waste of my time. I hate people, not racist.
There's a lot of people I hate. There's a reason to hate the person.

Speaker 2 It's not because of their race.

Speaker 2 I feel the same way in a weird. I forget that I have red hair until someone makes a joke about it.
Right. It's really fucking it's like this.

Speaker 2 It's not the same as when someone makes an Asian joke to you, but it's annoying to me in a way where I go, well, I'm not allowed to be mean back. Yeah.
Because then I'm a bad guy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you know, it's so interesting that

Speaker 2 it's like,

Speaker 2 without that,

Speaker 2 I think we would get along better, I think, as, you know, it's like... But we need to be different.
I think it's I know we need to be different, but why bring it up?

Speaker 2 Why do people bring it up and then they draw lines and then, you know, they say that this

Speaker 2 group of people that look like this are less than this group of people.

Speaker 2 Because I think that when you're, when you don't, when your life is not that fulfilled and you're kind of dumb or average, that's a point of conversation.

Speaker 2 It's a point of life that you can go, you know,

Speaker 2 like my buddy's mom was like, you know, at that grocery store, there's lesbians. Yeah.
And it was like, it's, and of course, to us in our world, you go,

Speaker 2 yeah, so what? And to them, in their little insular world, they're like, no, I mean, you know, we don't see a lot of lesbians over here. It's like, they're always at that store.

Speaker 2 It's a point of conversation. But you know what's funny about it? It's just something to talk about.
It's that, you know,

Speaker 2 everyone says that you're a product or your environment, whatever.

Speaker 2 So it's like basically, you know, if you were born in a Christian household, you're probably going to end up being a Christian, right? Most likely. But like my parents were the opposite.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but my parents were always anti-whatever I was into. Right.
Like I remember as a kid, my dad just pounded his hand on the table. If you're ever gay, I kill you.

Speaker 2 Right. And I remember going, wow, that's really? Yeah.
What's wrong with that? Right. I never thought that any race or any gender or any position sexually was a fucking bad thing.

Speaker 2 Because it doesn't matter. But I know, but I was never conditioned to think that.
I just, I feel like I was born.

Speaker 2 I kind of analyzed the world around me and things that made sense and didn't make sense and came to the conclusion that why does it matter about one's gender or what their sexual preference is

Speaker 2 or race? It doesn't matter. But my parents definitely had, you know, an ideology and their own set of, you know.
But, but this, but this is to play devil's advocate, though.

Speaker 2 We, our ideology is everyone's cool and it's okay and do whatever you want.

Speaker 2 50 years from now, maybe they'll look back at us and be like, God, they were so fucking stupid the way that they looked at that. I don't know what theirs is going to be.
Yeah. But it'll

Speaker 2 probably end up being like even calling you a redhead would be like saying the n-word.

Speaker 2 It is.

Speaker 2 it is no it's not it is to me no it's the exact same it's an ugly look ginger that's ginger is ginger is the n-word with different scramming yeah it is it's the different letters you know it's a weird look people just want to look weird though yeah good people just want to feel like they have something to say people elevator music people weather oh god it's hot out they want to just talk about stuff my neighbor to me i'm washing the cars yesterday i'm washing me and my wife's car in the driveway i like it it's like nice i put in my headphones my neighbor does this thing

Speaker 2 i take my hand yeah she goes you could do ours next

Speaker 2 yeah what am i supposed to say now i have to play along with her thing that i don't like i have to go

Speaker 2 you got you go it's 300 bucks a car i have to do that yeah because if i really go if i go what

Speaker 2 What the fuck are you talking about? No, I'm not gonna that's a stupid thing to say. Don't say that and then put on my headphone.
Then I'm the mean guy.

Speaker 2 So I know. I don't know.
You just have to go along with it. If somebody brings up something that I don't want to talk about, like if somebody comes up to me, a stranger and goes, wow,

Speaker 2 I really like that shirt you're wearing. Yeah.
I'll just go, no.

Speaker 2 Shut up. I really will.
If somebody goes, where did you get that shirt? If Bobby, that Hawaiian shirt's cool, where did you get that? No.

Speaker 2 Fuck you.

Speaker 2 I really will. Why? Or I won't even answer.

Speaker 2 Ask me again. Whoa, those pants are cool.
Where did you get those? Who makes those? Bop Pop Pop. Bop Bop makes those? No.

Speaker 2 Oh, the company No, Bop Papa Bop? No, I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to talk to you.
Bop Papa Pop. No makes those?

Speaker 2 Something like that. Yeah, Spiral.
Yeah. I have a face of ask me directions.
People always come up to me. Yeah, hey, excuse me, sir.
Yeah, what's up? How do I get to 2nd Street and Gardner?

Speaker 2 Oh, so easy. You have a smartphone, an iPhone? Yes.
Okay,

Speaker 2 open it up and then type in. No, but I want you to tell me, Red.
No, I'm telling you what to do with your phone.

Speaker 2 type in how do I get to Sunset Gardener and then when you're done put the phone right all the way up your asshole yeah you know what you know what happened to me this morning that I feel really good about what I pull up to the

Speaker 2 Stadabach Pretul I go to Starbucks drive-through I get to the window and

Speaker 2 she hands me the food and I go to hand her my card and she goes it's okay the car in front of you already paid for you why you know one of these like Oprah things you know pay it forward yeah and I was like oh why did they do that and she goes, um,

Speaker 2 I don't know. And then my head goes, they're tight, they're fans, they're bad friends, or you're whiskey.
Well, ginger. My first unfortunate thought is, did they see me and they know me? Yeah.

Speaker 2 But they're in front of me through the rear view. They couldn't have.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No way.
They did.

Speaker 2 But then I thought, this could be because of the pandy. People are trying to be nice to people and pay for other people's shit.
So then I said to her, Well,

Speaker 2 I should pay for the people behind me then.

Speaker 2 Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I had a very, she goes, I mean, if you want to.
and I go, yeah, of course I will. Let me do that.
Let me pay for the next car. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But in a Larry David moment, when she goes away to go get the total, I felt like this is so a Larry David. I literally go, I wonder if they got a lot of stuff.
I don't want to pay for a lot of stuff.

Speaker 2 Like I can hear Larry David being like, did they just get coffee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if they got more than coffee, I don't want to pay for it.
I'll pay for just their coffee. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And that would be a Larry David moment. Right, right.
They would go, they'd get up to the window. They'd hand him and they'd go, that guy took care of your coffee.
The food he didn't pay for.

Speaker 2 And somehow they remember him. They run into him later.
It's such a Larry Daymo. So I called Jeff Schaefer, who did this season of Curb, and I told him that.

Speaker 2 And I go, if you use that, I want fucking credit because I can see Larry doing that thing. But I paid for the meal.
I paid for the people behind me. How much was it? I don't know.
I didn't even ask.

Speaker 2 Yeah. But she's, you know, whatever.
I paid for it. And I hope in my head people kept doing it all afternoon.
Oh, what a sweet guy. No, because that's really fucking cool.

Speaker 2 That's a nice thing to do to make people. Because here's why.
If it wasn't the pandy, I'm not doing that. But the pandy is making us go, hey man, times are fucking fun.

Speaker 2 This is something fun to shift it up. Yeah.
You know, like, it's just fun. Like, there's something about it.
When you go to a restaurant and they go, hey, we're big fans of yours. It's on us.

Speaker 2 Oh, God, you have to tip so much. You have to tip so much money.
That's why, you know, I go, I have to do it. You have to tip so much money when they do that.
I know. What I say is this.

Speaker 2 I go, no, I'm paying for it. The reason why is because, especially if it's a restaurant that I'm going to come back to,

Speaker 2 I don't want them to think that, oh, here he comes again for a free meal.

Speaker 2 There he comes. He's been here for us twice a week, you know what I mean? To get the free meal.
So I tell them that I go, don't pay for me because I want to come back.

Speaker 2 I'll still give you a big tip. Don't worry about it.

Speaker 2 But I don't want to feel pressure of not coming back. I want to come back.
Right. They're like, sir, this is your eighth time this week at this PF10.
You have to go somewhere else.

Speaker 2 I just, I was on, I was took my, I took my wife's parents out for dinner at a really nice steakhouse. Yeah.
And they brought us wine.

Speaker 2 And after the guy, he comes up to me kind of like over my shoulder. They can't really hear.
so I thought. And he goes, Hey, man, I just, I'm a massive fan, and this is like such a big deal.

Speaker 2 If I don't want to bug you now, but after dinner, could I get a photo? And I go, Yeah, totally, no doubt.

Speaker 2 On the way out, just you know, wait till we're done, like, done eating, and then, of course, no big deal.

Speaker 2 And then he comes up, and the manager comes up, and he's like, Great to meet you in front of my wife and her parents. And it's like, we took care of the bill.
And I was like, fuck, fuck, I know.

Speaker 2 Because now I'm like, you have to give, you, you have to tip, in my opinion,

Speaker 2 you have to tip double the bill. Right, right.
Double the bill. So whatever the bill was, two times that has to go to the server's pocket.
Right, yeah. Which is fine.
It's just, it's a forced hand.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I would have tipped him well anyway.
But now you're tipping 200% of what the bill was. Right.
And then we take the photo, and it's one of these moments where we're not getting the photo.

Speaker 2 Doing, oh, could we, something's wrong with the thing? And it's lasting a long time. Yeah.
And now people are looking at me.

Speaker 2 And for everything in the world, I wish I could have just given all the money for the thing and ran out as fast as I could. Just given the money and been like, I can't take a photo.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry, I gotta go. Something's wrong at the thing.
Yeah. It was just uncomfortable.
It was just weird. I don't like, I don't like those moments.

Speaker 2 Here's what I don't like, too, at a restaurant where the waiter will go, so the chef's a really big fan, right? Fuck you. And so he made something special for you, right?

Speaker 2 So you already ordered your meal. Yeah, you don't.
And then the waiter comes with a bore. Yeah.

Speaker 2 On fire. On fire, and I got to eat the whole fucking thing now.
Yeah, the chef's just sitting there like this.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You have to finish it.
You have to finish it. It's the worst.
That I don't like. I don't like it either.
Here's what I do like. What? When people just

Speaker 2 do a subtle thing knowing that I know that they know, I think that's the coolest thing. When they go like, like,

Speaker 2 I've had a guy go like this in a restaurant. He just goes like this.

Speaker 2 Like that. Oh, I love it.
It's like fight club. Yes.
It's like fight club. Fight club.
Yeah. You know, I know.
Okay.

Speaker 2 We don't say anything. When we went to Hawaii with my mom before the pandy,

Speaker 2 we did the Road to HANA and then we wanted to go to Mama's Fish House. But if you ever been to Mama's Fish House, it's a two-month reservation.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you can only get in if you know someone that can get you in. Right.
So we drove, I tell her this story already. No.
Okay. So I we drive up and I go to the hostess and I go, hey,

Speaker 2 four?

Speaker 2 She say, you have reservations? I go, no. And she goes, sorry, it's a two-month reservation.

Speaker 2 Like that. And she looks me right in the eyes.
And I kind of blush, but I go, all right, guys, let's get back in the car. But then the valets, they go, what, you can't get in? I go, no, hold on.

Speaker 2 I had a valet run down to the hostess, and I could see that from afar, him yelling at her, right? It was the best, right? Yeah. And then she calling the owner of whatever.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then she goes, she had to go, all right, you get primed to your table right, right this way. Oh, wow, awesome.
So we go to the table, and this is the best. Yeah.
And I love,

Speaker 2 that's why I love podcasting. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Waiters and waitresses would walk by me and whisper, nos otros papaya

Speaker 2 or

Speaker 2 hail the slept king. That's so you know, and it feels, I love,

Speaker 2 and I love those fans. I mean, I love Matt TV fans and if they like me in a movie or whatever.
Yeah. But our podcast friends are people that we would hang out with.
That's great. It's great.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, I love it. It really is.
I do love what I

Speaker 2 love it when all you have to do is be cool and don't make it funk, don't make it weird. Don't say a weird thing.

Speaker 2 That's why when I, Raimi and those guys I play at

Speaker 2 my buds, right, Warzone with, is when I'm talking to them, because I know during the messages, they go, I'm a bad friends, Tiger Belly fan. That's cool.

Speaker 2 And then when you become, when you're playing with them, it's almost as if there's a trust factor because they know all my fucking instincts. Well, because they're a part of us.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 They're a part of the

Speaker 2 I fucking love it. Oh, speaking of which, Bob and I, it's not a fact, but

Speaker 2 we might be trying to do copying a good friend of mine, Michael. No, we are going to do it.
Okay, we're going to do these drive-in movie, we're going to try to do a drive-in movie theater.

Speaker 2 We might do it in Bakersfield. Yeah, we're working it out.
So, Andrew and I, bad friends, and Rudy will be there too. She has to.

Speaker 2 She has to be there on stage with us, but we're going to do a drive-in. Drive-in movie theater.

Speaker 2 And you're going to go, well, why can't I just, I'd just rather just listen to it? But we're going to go to car to car. Yeah, we're going to be around.
We're going to be in the middle of the day.

Speaker 2 And we'll stick a sticker or something on your windshield. We're going to do something.
We'll wave. You know what I mean? Just don't get out of your cars or roll up the window.

Speaker 2 It'll be very, I promise you,

Speaker 2 we're going to make it a whole thing. Wait, let me tell you this one story.
Tell me stories. I love stories.
No, no, no. This just reminded me, though, of that kind of thing.

Speaker 2 I can't do that. I can't walk up to a restaurant and, hey, da, da, da, da.
Although, no boo malibu.

Speaker 2 It worked and it felt really good.

Speaker 2 But it never really happens to me. But I was in Chicago with Rogan doing a show, and

Speaker 2 we go to this place called Bavets and Buff, one of my favorite steakhouses in Chicago, right?

Speaker 2 This is very Rogan-esque. Rogan loves MMA, doesn't like sports, doesn't know sports.
He thinks like sports are ridiculous. I'm like, you like a sport.
How do you not like other sports, right?

Speaker 2 A very famous Chicago Blackhawk hockey player walks up to us as we're walking in and is like, Joe Rogan. And Joe's like, hey, what's up, man? He's like, holy shit, I'm a huge fan.

Speaker 2 I'm a huge fan of Core Carfa. Hey, man, you're a huge fan.
Da-da-da. And he goes, oh, cool, man.
And he walks, and he's like, what are you doing in town? He's like, doing a show.

Speaker 2 And he's like annoyed almost with him. Yeah.
And he walks away. And I say to Joe, I go, do you know that that's like a second one?

Speaker 2 Yeah. One of those.

Speaker 2 I was like, what the fuck? And he's like, I don't know, man. And we walk up to the thing.

Speaker 2 Joe is on the phone and he's out by the car. I go inside and I go, hey, we're looking to get a table.
There's four of us. And she's like, we're totally booked up.

Speaker 2 Like, it's, what do you, like, she's looking at me like I'm a moron. Yeah.
And I go, I know it's late, a late night thing. And, but, um, is there any way? I'm

Speaker 2 Joe Rogan. Like, Joe is here if we're in town doing the UFC.

Speaker 2 And she goes, no, I'm sorry. I don't.
There's

Speaker 2 nothing like that.

Speaker 2 I don't want you. She thinks I'm full of shit.
So Joe comes walking in, and the girl at the front is like,

Speaker 2 Joe goes over there. He's like, what's the deal?

Speaker 2 Is there any way we can sneak somewhere in here at all? Yeah. He's being so polite, so nice.
And she's like, I don't have any.

Speaker 2 Dude, before she can finish her sentence, you see a guy, I mean, it's like out of a movie. He's like talking to guests in like a nice suit.
And then he turns and he sees joe and he's like

Speaker 2 and he just beelines and he goes joe rogan what's what can we do how can we help you where do you need to be tonight and

Speaker 2 really yeah and he's like uh we just want a table he's like right this way and the girl was like i don't know who that i don't know who that is yeah yeah yeah and they sit up

Speaker 2 she should get fired she got fired she got fired she got fired no no i have no fun

Speaker 2 but she should get fired but we sat down at the the most prime booth in the thing oh it's the best and because it's him because i'm with him yeah it's an endless pouring of meat.

Speaker 2 It's just like they are shoving

Speaker 2 five hours of just me just eating meat, drinking, blacking out.

Speaker 2 It was like the most fucking. It's the opposite of what happened to me in Irvine when I told you.

Speaker 2 When I went to the restaurants, I told you that. No.
Yes, I did. When? On this podcast, I ever told you? What did you do in Irvine?

Speaker 2 I didn't tell you? No.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 2 I can't, you know what? I don't want to tell you. It's embarrassing after hearing that story, actually.
Because I did the polar opposite. You know what I mean? Why? Tell me.
All right.

Speaker 2 We might have to cut it out, though. Did you tell it on Belly or something? I don't remember.
I don't know if I said. You hear this story before?

Speaker 2 So this just happened. So this happened in

Speaker 2 February or February. Yeah.
So, you know,

Speaker 2 I sold out the Irvine Improv, which is difficult to do. Very.
Right? Very. It's 500 C.
I feel the first time I ever sold out before going there. You know, it felt good.
Yeah. So I went there early.

Speaker 2 I go, you know what? I'm going to show up, right?

Speaker 2 And I'm going to have a nice dinner before my show. Yeah.
So I show up at the club

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 I go to the manager and they go, why are you here so early? I go, you know, I want to be mindful to get here early so you're not worrying that the headliner's not here.

Speaker 2 So I came early and I'm going to eat some dinner next door at Paul Martini's or something like that. Sure.
So I walk in there and I go, hey,

Speaker 2 I'm connected one.

Speaker 2 And she goes no

Speaker 2 she goes no we we're three hour wait

Speaker 2 and I go yeah but um I'm by myself I'm yeah also I'm headlining literally next door and I have to go I have to perform

Speaker 2 no we don't give a fuck no

Speaker 2 I go can I see the manager yeah all right Jimmy Jimmy comes yeah I'm headlining no

Speaker 2 nope I go, but I'm headlining. Yeah, we don't, we don't do that.
We don't do that. They didn't let you eat? No, so then what I go, I go, hold on.

Speaker 2 I go next door to the Irvine Improv and I go, yeah, they said no.

Speaker 2 Right?

Speaker 2 And they go, yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 And I go, I know, but I go, yeah, but go over there with me. No.
No. No.

Speaker 2 And they go, but you know what we do have? There's a Mexican restaurant right next to next door to that. Yep.
We have connect. I'll call, we'll call.
We have connect. It's really good.
You'll love it.

Speaker 2 So, okay, great. I'll have Mexican.
So they call. I go over there.
Hey, excuse me.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 I go, but yeah, but they called. We know.

Speaker 2 We know they called. Irvine Improv.
You getting shut down. And I go,

Speaker 2 but I go, but I know, but they called. So you talked to them.
Yeah, we just got off the phone with them, you idiot. We just said, no, no, to you.

Speaker 2 And I go, yeah, but I'm heading like, we don't give a fuck. No.
So I went back and I went to the manager of the Irvine. And this is what this is the part that's going to be embarrassing.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I go, I'm going home.

Speaker 2 Shut up. I swear to God, I said that.

Speaker 2 Like an idiot. Like a fucking baby.
You're like, I didn't know what give me food.

Speaker 2 Like a fuck. They go, we have food here.
I don't want to eat your diarrhea fucking ridden, infested fucking food here. How do you know it's diarrhea ridden? I don't know.
I just don't like club food.

Speaker 2 Did I get food poisoning from the old Irvan improv? I did. Yeah, I know.
That's what I'm saying. I did.
You hear stories. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So I went to my car.

Speaker 2 You pretended like you were going to fucking leave. You're such an asshole.

Speaker 2 And they're like, Pop, who are you, Pop? No, no, no. They're like, what are we doing? you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 And I think I called like some guy from AAA,

Speaker 2 you know what I mean? To help you get through it. Yeah, I guess.
Because you were a nigga.

Speaker 2 Because I had just got on, you know,

Speaker 2 you were just pissed off. I was just newly sober.

Speaker 2 That was when you just got sober. I was like a month and a half in, you know what I mean? So I was just like really tender.
Yeah. And I was just like, he's just like, what are you doing?

Speaker 2 Get a work, dude. See? It's not a big deal.
Grow up. And I go, all right.
I know, but I'm just saying, when you see the Joe Rogan thing, right, right, it's a polar opposite of it.

Speaker 2 It was just, it was just. And I'll be honest with you.

Speaker 2 When I behave in that way,

Speaker 2 but

Speaker 2 somebody should have sat me, by the way. Well, you're a single.
It should have been easy to get. It should have been easy.

Speaker 2 Can I just defend my position real quick? Sure. Is that the Irvine Improv, how many, I mean, you're talking about 2,500 people.
Yeah, it's a lot. During the weekend that you're bringing in, right?

Speaker 2 That's a lot of business. So you're bringing in business to those restaurants, am I not right? The majority of that business is probably those people don't you think yeah right just give me a table

Speaker 2 that was my thinking right you're right i should have done it differently and i was acting my ego got in the way yeah and i don't want to apologize

Speaker 2 give me a fucking table give me a table

Speaker 2 okay it is true yeah it is true fuck those restaurants give me a table You can help me the fuck out. No, I can't pull any strings.
Joe was the only reason that every time I've ever tried,

Speaker 2 they don't even acknowledge it. Okay, one more story.
One more story. So this was surprising to me.
Jordan Peel and I, he goes, let's go have lunch somewhere.

Speaker 2 So we went to this restaurant on Los Felas Boulevard, right?

Speaker 2 It was dinner. It was dinner at like 6 p.m.
Little Dom's. No, it wasn't Little Dom's.

Speaker 2 It was called the Lodge or something like that. Okay.
Or the Living Room, some bullshit fucking thing like that. And we walk into the lobby and

Speaker 2 we go, hey, can we sit? Two. They're necessary reservations only.
And Jordan just goes,

Speaker 2 all right. Walks out and I go, Academy Award nothing,

Speaker 2 you want Academy Award nothing? And it's so funny if he just brought his Oscar and he's like, You're saying that you can't get in? No, good. But don't you think that's fair? That's fair.

Speaker 2 I think it's fair. No, you want it.
You want it? You want it, so you can. I think it's fair.
Did you get into Powwe Hall of Fame, by the way? I didn't. We never checked.
I love it.

Speaker 2 You crashed the website? I still didn't.

Speaker 2 I let it go.

Speaker 2 Bobe, thank you for being a bad friend.