Fancy's Replacement

Speaker 1 This episode is brought to you by Indeed. Stop waiting around for the perfect candidate.
Instead, use Indeed sponsored jobs to find the right people with the right skills fast.

Speaker 1 It's a simple way to make sure your listing is the first candidate seed. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs have four times more applicants than non-sponsored jobs.

Speaker 1 So go build your dream team today with Indeed. Get a $75 sponsored job credit at Indeed.com/slash podcast.
Terms and conditions apply.

Speaker 2 Introduce yourself. Into the mic though, you gotta.
Can I come in walking and say something?

Speaker 2 Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I actually want you to dictate. Do what you do.
Be free, dude. Amazing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's incredible.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So before Fancy left to Spain, he left a clone and he told me to tell you that you forgot your fifth doses of Osempic today.

Speaker 2 Crushed.

Speaker 2 Very good. That joke crushed.
That was good. It's a good joke.
It was a good joke. That was good.
Yeah, that was good. That was good.
Very good. Very good.

Speaker 3 Dude,

Speaker 2 you're on fire. You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 4 A white dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 4 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 2 We're bad friends.

Speaker 3 Hey, what's up, bad friends? This weekend, I'm in Brea. Brea Improv, come out and see me.
Southern California, support your boy, Brea. Then I'm in Tempe.
Come out and see me, ASU.

Speaker 3 I'm in Hammond, Indiana. Then I go to Windsor, Ontario, Bethlehem, PA, Hanover, Maryland, Atlantic City, New Jersey.
Then then down south by San Diego at Valley Center. Then I'm in Canyonville.

Speaker 3 And finally, I'm in Las Vegas. Go to AndrewSantino.com for those tickets, andrewSantino.com.

Speaker 3 Introduce yourself so the fans know who you are and tell the story because maybe some people don't remember.

Speaker 2 They don't remember. My story here.
Oh, I sent a video submission on for the three

Speaker 2 fancy B replacement.

Speaker 3 It's going to be harder to understand than fancy.

Speaker 2 I know, I know. This is what I like.
I like the challenge. What's your name? Christopher.
Yeah, Chris. Christopher.
I'm Andres.

Speaker 3 No, we call you the Big C. The Big C.

Speaker 3 And let me tell you something to the Big C. We're so happy to have you here.
For fans.

Speaker 2 I'm so happy. Well, let me shut up.

Speaker 2 Let me say this.

Speaker 3 For fans at home that want to know, Fancy B is taking a little bit of a leave. He's dealing with family stuff.

Speaker 3 We love Fancy. We miss him so much.
We wish him and his family the best.

Speaker 3 And for the time being, our lovely Fancy is being temporarily replaced by the Big C. Now, Big C, the floor is yours.

Speaker 2 Take it away. Yeah.
The Big C? Yeah. Followed by the Big D, Dominican Policy.
Okay. Okay.
Anyway, this guy. And he's yours, average, by the way.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay. I can't give him any.

Speaker 2 What about the song that you wrote? Yeah. You sing the song that you wrote?

Speaker 2 That you wrote for us? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 You wrote a song.

Speaker 2 You wrote a song, and you remember it?

Speaker 3 It goes like this:

Speaker 2 Big C is

Speaker 3 done.

Speaker 2 What does it mean?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not a singer.
Big C. Yeah, big C.

Speaker 3 You have to just make up a song.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's all you have to do.

Speaker 3 That's the only way you're going to be able to keep this job. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Ready? And

Speaker 2 it doesn't have to be good. Can I do it in Japanese, even though? Yeah, do it in Japanese.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Might as well. Might as well.
You might as well speak Japanese. No, but I watch a lot of anime.
Okay, here we go. Ready? We might be throwing people off like.

Speaker 2 toot, toot, toot, toot, hood, hood, who's a good, you know, you're a good one,

Speaker 2 yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, give that, that's good.

Speaker 3 Once you start, you can't stop.

Speaker 2 You can't stop, dude. When you have sex, do you stop midway? I mean, I haven't done it in like 13 years, so.

Speaker 3 So you haven't made love in in 13 years?

Speaker 2 My mom and everyone that I know is is going to watch it, so

Speaker 2 in about

Speaker 2 13, probably. I haven't

Speaker 3 been with somebody.

Speaker 2 The D hasn't met the B.

Speaker 2 D is the B. Oh.

Speaker 3 Do you prefer men or women?

Speaker 2 Woman. Okay.

Speaker 3 You're allowed to have whatever you want.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, I felt like you were on the fence there. Yeah, you sent it.
I'm not in the fence. Yeah, commit.

Speaker 2 I was going to say men, but because I got

Speaker 2 scared. The pressure, the pressure.
Right. The pressure.

Speaker 3 Because you did say, you said my D.

Speaker 3 You said my D hasn't met any B, so but is what you're referring to.

Speaker 2 I mean, you, the B,

Speaker 2 B-U? Yeah. It's not how they call it, the B?

Speaker 3 A Bayaina. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 A V. A V.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, I see. I thought you said B.

Speaker 2 You could be a Butt Man. I don't know.
I wouldn't mind going.

Speaker 2 Are you a Butt Man?

Speaker 2 Are you a Butt Man? I wouldn't mind trying it. Oh, yeah, yeah.
You never tried it. No, not with that guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe if they put it on like a wig or something? Sure.

Speaker 2 I don't think so. I don't think so.
Carlos can help you out with that kind of thing. Yeah, Carlos can.

Speaker 3 Welcome to Los Angeles.

Speaker 2 Carlos is losing like 60%, so I don't know if I can do that.

Speaker 3 Of his hair?

Speaker 2 Yes. Okay.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah. So hair is the standard for you?

Speaker 2 Kind of. Okay.

Speaker 2 We'll get you. Only at the top, no, here.
Yeah. My challenge for you tonight.
Our challenge. Our challenge.
Is to get somebody. Where do you live?

Speaker 2 Albany. Albany, New York.
Can you say that? Somebody in the Albany, New York area. Yeah, I would love to.
Preferably a vagina.

Speaker 2 Yes. Yes.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 Imagine if we had him live switching the show, how fucked up it would be.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it'd be fucked up. We should have to cut like 10 seconds.

Speaker 2 We would.

Speaker 2 But any nice person,

Speaker 2 preferably a woman. Preferably,

Speaker 2 it doesn't need to be from like Albany.

Speaker 2 I can move around.

Speaker 3 In the general New York area?

Speaker 2 Yeah, upstate New York. Yeah.
Oneanta. If you live in Oneonta.

Speaker 2 We talked about this in the car. Yeah.
And I said that I wanted two options. One,

Speaker 2 I want an Asian woman. I want from an Asian.

Speaker 2 And one, I actually make that three. Okay.
Oh my god, let's go. You're so greedy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're greedy.
But I prefer to have it. 13 years and you're greedy? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I prefer to have this. Okay, go ahead.
Asian

Speaker 2 games and watches anime.

Speaker 3 Okay, so you want an Asian woman that watches anime and what else?

Speaker 2 Plays games. Plays games?

Speaker 2 What kind of games?

Speaker 2 Any game. Alright.
Solitaire? I mean, videos.

Speaker 2 Oh, video games. Okay, let's.

Speaker 2 I'm not into gambling. All right.
So you want a girl like... Had all the catching games, yes.
Uh-uh. Pixie, do you like the anime that I just draw? Yeah.
You want to play Warzone?

Speaker 2 I don't play Warzone.

Speaker 2 Do you want to play Fortnite?

Speaker 2 Last time I played Fortnite.

Speaker 3 This is why 13 years. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You gotta be more of a game. You're very specific.

Speaker 2 So what kind of genre of game?

Speaker 2 Now

Speaker 2 if she tells me to go play a game with her, I will probably do it. I just did.
Warzone.

Speaker 3 You missed out. Big C lives in Albany, New York.
He was a fan of the show. He submitted to replace fans.

Speaker 2 I'm a CORA fan of the show.

Speaker 3 You're still... Right.

Speaker 2 What did he say? I don't even know what he just said.

Speaker 3 I'm still a fan.

Speaker 2 You said that I was.

Speaker 3 This will be the longest hour we've ever done. No, no, no.

Speaker 2 It's good. No, I think we're cooking.
It's amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 And the Big C, you're from Albany, New York, and you're originally from the Dominican Republic of the DR.

Speaker 2 Can I interrupt one second?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Go ahead.
Yeah, man. Let him.
Let him. No, it's your show.
In like about two months, I'm going to be moving to Florida.

Speaker 3 Why are you going to Florida?

Speaker 2 My mom is moving, so I'm going with her.

Speaker 3 She moves, you move.

Speaker 2 You live with your mom? Kind of. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Remember, he lives downstairs. Do you speak Spanish?

Speaker 2 Yes. Speak some.

Speaker 2 I.

Speaker 2 I is good. I is very good.
That's a good beginning. I

Speaker 2 from the basement of my mom's house to here, I just keep going down and down.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, no. He's taking shots at you.

Speaker 3 You think this is below your mom's basement?

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 I love you guys.

Speaker 3 We love you. We flew you out here just to hang out.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 You guys can win. You want a war? One day? I can have a war with you.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he's looking for a war.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you want a war, bud? I think I can win, Bobby.

Speaker 2 In a physical fight? Probably.

Speaker 2 I think so, too. And I never fought someone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe I did, like,

Speaker 2 back in high school, but.

Speaker 3 Did you get in fights at the Dominican Republic when you were young?

Speaker 2 One time. One time.
And how did that go?

Speaker 2 Probably like a draw.

Speaker 3 Probably a draw.

Speaker 2 The confidence.

Speaker 3 You never finished. You never finished.
You never finished. You guys, now.
You know why you didn't finish?

Speaker 2 You started crying. Yeah.
When's the last time you cried, Big C?

Speaker 2 Probably like playing a game.

Speaker 2 I mean, the story is super good. That's why I cried.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
you know when the story is so good that the tears just start

Speaker 2 oh like you're playing last of us and you're like oh my god i never play the last

Speaker 2 what do you what do you

Speaker 2 i mean i i i play

Speaker 2 mostly pc games i know that the last of us is on pc but i i know but when i'm at what's the last game you cried

Speaker 2 i would say

Speaker 2 scene of late three bring it up i want to see scene of day three scene of day three scene of scene of Leigh.

Speaker 3 Oh, lovely. Oh, lovely.

Speaker 2 I'm about to cry just looking at it.

Speaker 2 Oh, look at that. It's a JRPG.
This story is amazing. Tell us.
Tell us the story. I don't want to spoil the game.
No one's going to play that game.

Speaker 2 Our fans are not going to play this game. I promise you.
No, if they are. They're not.
They are. Fucking tell the story and condense it.

Speaker 2 I don't want that. You're driving me crazy.
You're driving me crazy. Just fucking give me the condensed version right now, dude.
I'm trying to save the game so you can play it too.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to play it. I don't have a PC.

Speaker 2 You don't have to have a PC. It's on Switch.

Speaker 3 I gotta tell you, I don't know if the fans are gonna like his voice or hate his voice.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Because I like it.

Speaker 2 I like it.

Speaker 3 It's very pitchy.

Speaker 2 Tell me Mickey Mouse.

Speaker 2 It wouldn't be a voice on Better Sleep or

Speaker 2 Sleep.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? Disney could be a bit more sleepy. Like, if you told a story on Better Sleep or one of those apps that makes you want to relax,

Speaker 2 I don't think that would be a good voice.

Speaker 2 Disney couldn't afford to hire me, so you guys did it. Yeah.
I can't.

Speaker 2 Just hand him.

Speaker 2 Try to do a better sleep, like a meditation. So it's like, I got the app, right? And I put, you know, the big C, I press the button.
Right.

Speaker 3 You've selected the big C. Yeah, yeah.
He will now put you to bed.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and now there's a, there's a, you know, there's a song.

Speaker 2 You're bone, you know, you're relaxed.

Speaker 3 Try to get us relaxed.

Speaker 2 Try to get us relaxed. Come on.
Bobby. No, no, it's not.

Speaker 3 No, no, it's well.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, the app doesn't know it's my name. It could be AI.
Yeah, it's, yeah, just.

Speaker 2 When you download the app, it makes you put in your name. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 I'm downloading a Bobby.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 3 Enter. Go ahead.
And now you selected the big C.

Speaker 3 Big C. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Bobby,

Speaker 2 if you play the Signoblay series,

Speaker 2 you are 100% going to cry.

Speaker 2 You can go back to sleep now.

Speaker 2 I'm not asleep yet.

Speaker 2 Press the X to exit the app. Okay.

Speaker 2 Really good. Wow.
Really good. Yeah.
I almost fell asleep. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 The Big C, tell us about your journey here to Los Angeles. For the fans that don't know, you applied to replace Fancy B.
We flew you out here.

Speaker 3 Is this your first time in LA? Yes. And how was the experience?

Speaker 2 Normal.

Speaker 3 Normal. Right.

Speaker 2 That's what we were going for.

Speaker 2 Roll a car. Guy here.

Speaker 3 Did you enjoy the plane ride? Was it fun? Do you fly a lot?

Speaker 2 I don't know. What do you guys?

Speaker 2 What do you call fun?

Speaker 3 What do we call fun?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Oh, geez.

Speaker 3 geez it's interesting go hanging out with friends but i'm saying was it a were you excited

Speaker 2 i mean

Speaker 2 i mean before the days

Speaker 2 coming down to today they were excited exciting hmm who was excited i was excited

Speaker 3 they you were excited yeah you were excited for today to be here to be here yeah and so far you are are you nervous super happy are you nervous no oh good i i was before i was here, but no anymore.

Speaker 2 I feel like we connected already. We did.
We did.

Speaker 3 What do you do to calm your nerves? What do you do to calm yourself down?

Speaker 2 I just...

Speaker 2 I think

Speaker 2 I can tell

Speaker 2 reality from

Speaker 2 fantasy. Right.
God, God. He's very...

Speaker 2 No, he's a fucking crazy person. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's enlightening. Don't call me that.

Speaker 2 I don't think you're crazy.

Speaker 3 And I'm saying that in the event that you do murder us, this will be evidence.

Speaker 2 I don't got the boss to do that. You do? Yeah.

Speaker 3 So do you want to move to Florida or would you rather move to here?

Speaker 2 Do I have a choice? Yeah, we just gave you one. Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 You seem like you might be a good fit to keep doing the show, depending on how there is a show. Am I?

Speaker 2 I don't know. Please hire me.

Speaker 2 You want to be hired? I mean,

Speaker 3 but what can you do for the show? Because Fancy is going to come back.

Speaker 2 I mean, if you need someone to clean the bathroom, I think we got you to do it.

Speaker 2 I don't know who he was looking at. I think he was looking at me.

Speaker 2 Who are you looking at?

Speaker 2 Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Interesting. Interesting, dude.
Bobby's my friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're friends. We're friends already.

Speaker 2 Oh, we're not friends. We are friends.
No, I'm the one that fucking flew you out here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 You know who got you out here? Me, you cocksaw.

Speaker 2 I didn't do anything. I'm playing you.
I'm playing you. No, no, no.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Big C, it's over for you and me.

Speaker 3 This is the war now.

Speaker 2 This is a fight. Oh, I love the Big C.
Bobie. I love you.
What? You still need people for Tiger Bell? Yeah.

Speaker 2 This guy's unbelievable. This guy's amazing.
He's unbelievable. Yeah.
How long are you in town for? George can clean the bathrooms. Yeah.

Speaker 2 George, maybe a fourth mic at Tiger Belly tomorrow.

Speaker 3 You can have him.

Speaker 2 Are you really mad? I'm livid.

Speaker 2 Don't be like, I'm playing you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No need to get.

Speaker 3 Oh, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 No need to get need to get.

Speaker 3 Need to get. No need to get, right? No, no, need to get.

Speaker 2 No need to get. All right, so I'm going to give Andrew my belated birthday present to him.
Oh, thank you. Right, but I want you to do it like a mafia kind of a you know song if you can.

Speaker 2 What about if I don't do it like a mafia? I can do a mafia, but not a song.

Speaker 2 How are you going to do it?

Speaker 2 I can actually change my voice to sound deeper. Let's hear it.

Speaker 2 Tell me what to say. Okay.
A mafia. I don't watch a lot of.
I haven't watched the.

Speaker 2 The grandfather? Is that a mafia? Yeah, the grandfather.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you go. Bada boom, bada bing.

Speaker 3 Something like that. Bada boom, bada bing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, just get repeat bada boom, bada bing in a deep voice. Bada boom, bada bing.
Whoa.

Speaker 2 I sound like a Jamaican.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Like a Jamaican black market pineapple dealer. Yeah, yeah.
Bada boom, bada boom, bada bing, Andrew. Wow.
Wow. This guy, I don't.
But keep doing bad boom, bada bing, bada boom, bada bing. Keep doing.

Speaker 2 Bada boom, bada bing, bada boom, bada bing. Happy birthday, dad.
Thank you, dude.

Speaker 2 Mafia style. Give Andrew his present, please.

Speaker 2 Bobby.

Speaker 2 Happy birthday. Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 What are you doing? What? This is my gift?

Speaker 2 Because I called your wife before your birthday weeks in advance. Yeah.
And she's like, I just don't know.

Speaker 3 You know what I mean? I don't like stuff.

Speaker 2 I know. So it's like, we couldn't come up with anything.
So in my mind, I'm like, I don't know what to do. Okay.
You know what I mean? So I just decided to do

Speaker 2 what I wanted. That's very strange.
What I would want. That's very good.
You know what I mean? Is that something that

Speaker 2 friends do all the time?

Speaker 3 Give each other gifts for birthdays? Yeah, we do that.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Do you not have birthdays? When's your birthday?

Speaker 2 Call your friend's wife?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 See what he's doing? Yeah, he's very good. I know.
He's trying to cause a civil war. He's fucking my wife.

Speaker 3 Is that now are you turned on?

Speaker 2 His wife is my friend. Yeah.
You know what I mean? And every birthday I call her and go, what should I get him? Yeah, and this year she was just like,

Speaker 2 he has everything he needs. So what do you give a guy that has everything?

Speaker 3 I mean, just love and affection. Love and affection.

Speaker 2 I love a Dominican friend. Well, we have one now.

Speaker 2 Now he loves.

Speaker 3 You're my Dominican friend.

Speaker 2 When's your birthday, Chris?

Speaker 2 The 25th of August.

Speaker 2 Oh, so we pa yeah, it's the same exact birthday as my brother.

Speaker 2 I told you when we did the interview that it was that same week. That's right.
That was okay.

Speaker 2 Anyway, 32. Yeah.
Yes. In next August.

Speaker 2 Next August, 25th, what would you like for your birthday? You want mafia style? I'm about to.

Speaker 2 I don't want this to sound rude.

Speaker 3 I think it's gonna. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But usually for my birthday, since probably like around age 20

Speaker 2 26

Speaker 2 all I get is like probably a pistachio ice cream.

Speaker 3 He is like

Speaker 3 the antithesis of yes and an improv.

Speaker 2 I know. He's anti-improv.
Anti-improv. Yeah, yeah.
The reason is

Speaker 2 I'm not picky when it comes to food.

Speaker 3 What are you picky with?

Speaker 2 Well, with women, he's very

Speaker 2 high.

Speaker 2 It's not that I'm picky. I would like my woman to be like that.

Speaker 2 It's just, I mean, we all have dreams. What are your dreams? Yeah, what are your dreams? I barely, when I go to sleep, I barely have any dreams.

Speaker 2 You don't remember your dreams? I remember one maybe the last

Speaker 2 week.

Speaker 2 What to do with family stuff? Okay, tell us a dream. Tell us a dream.

Speaker 2 A movie. The dream was about the movie.

Speaker 3 You're scared to move to Florida. No.

Speaker 2 You're scared.

Speaker 2 I'm actually kind of happy. I haven't haven't told this to my mom, but yeah, I think it's a good thing for me

Speaker 2 because that way I like to play the One Piece card game.

Speaker 2 So they have more locations to play the game there.

Speaker 3 This is Dominican you.

Speaker 2 Dude. Dominican Bobby.
No, no, no.

Speaker 3 This is D.R. Bobby.

Speaker 2 No, no, that's not. This is D.R.

Speaker 3 Bobby.

Speaker 2 I would never locate a One Piece card game facility. Who's that? That's him.
Dressed as a One Piece. Don Flamingo.
That's from One Piece.

Speaker 3 Is this your alter ego?

Speaker 2 No, that's just a cosplay.

Speaker 3 Don Flamingo? Yeah. Don Flamingo.

Speaker 2 You can see the pink and the I do see it. Yeah, I do.
We see the period for sure.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 Don Flamingo.

Speaker 2 Don Flamingo. Wow.
That's your alter ego.

Speaker 3 And give me Don Flamingo's voice. How does he sound when people go, Don Flamingo, let me get a photo?

Speaker 2 How do you see? He sounds just exactly like my deep voice. Let's hear.

Speaker 3 Don Flamingo, can we get a picture?

Speaker 2 So every. Very good.
Okay.

Speaker 3 Don Flamingo, can I get a photo with you? It's so good to see you. How are you?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, do the voice.

Speaker 2 I just want to explain something before I do the voice. Oh, it kind of is.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Explain the voice and then we'll do the act.

Speaker 2 Act out.

Speaker 2 Let me do the reason why I use this voice, the deep voice. Because sometimes it's hard

Speaker 2 for people to understand me when I use this one. Yeah, can you switch their voice? Let's just see if you can do deep for a while.
Go deep for a while.

Speaker 2 So it's hard for people to understand my other voice, my noble voice. Yeah.
But with this one, they can kind of understand better. I think this is your normal voice.
No, it's not.

Speaker 2 I can call my mom.

Speaker 2 Simply safe. Stay safe.

Speaker 2 The best gift you ever give me is simply stay safe. And you know what? When I sleep at night, dude, I am so secure.
I have no worries.

Speaker 3 Because you got all the Simply Safe cameras all over your house. AI, baby.

Speaker 3 And here's the best part: it's AI-powered cameras detect threats while they're still outside your home and alert real security agents.

Speaker 3 It's not one of those things where you see it after it's already taken place because traditional security systems respond after someone's already broken in. It's too late.

Speaker 3 SimplySafe is different because they can stop crimes before they happen with its active guard outdoor protection.

Speaker 2 And other systems have cameras that let you talk to the intruders, but they require you to see the alert yourself.

Speaker 2 Simply Safe's monitoring agents have your back and talk to the intruders if they aren't there. And that's right.

Speaker 3 There's no long-term contracts or hidden fees. You can cancel at any time.
It's named the best home security systems by U.S. News and World Report for five years running.
So let me tell you something.

Speaker 3 If you are looking for a way to be safe, there is no safe like Simply Safe. Don't miss out on Simply Safe's biggest sale of the year.
60% off. You heard it right.
60% off.

Speaker 2 Right now, our listeners can save 60% off on a Simply Save home security system at simply save.com slash bad friends. You heard it.

Speaker 3 That's simply safe.com slash bad friends. There's no safe like Simply Safe.

Speaker 2 Cachava.

Speaker 2 Last night, I had a terrible light dinner, and I was a little hungry about 8.30-ish. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I just put two scoops of my chocolate-flavored cachava in a cup, poured water, mixed it, stirred it, and I had a delicious, nutritious little beverage.

Speaker 3 That's the best part about cachava. They have different flavors as well.
I know you like chocolate.

Speaker 3 You've always been a big fan of chocolate, but they have vanilla chai, matcha, coconut, acai, and strawberry. It is incredible because cachava can give you energy.
It's good for digestion, strength.

Speaker 3 It fuels and replenishes your muscles. Also, good for metabolism.
Get it moving with B-vitamins, minerals, and fiber.

Speaker 2 It's a superfood, baby. It is.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 You can nourish your immune system with vitamin C, zinc, and probiotics.

Speaker 3 They have almost everything you need crunched into two little beautiful scoops of 25 grams of 100% plant-based protein and no artificial flavors, color sweeteners, no GMO, no soy, no animal products, no gluten, no preservatives.

Speaker 3 It's just clean, healthy goodness.

Speaker 2 It's also delicious. I promise you, it's delicious.

Speaker 3 By the way, every two scoops of cachava, you're going to get 85-plus superfoods, nutrients, and plant-based ingredients.

Speaker 2 Your future self will thank you. Go to cachava.com and use code BAD Friends for 15% off your next order.

Speaker 3 That's cachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A.com. The code is bad friends for 15% off.

Speaker 2 Quo, Q-U-O. Let's talk about something every business owner knows too well.
Missed calls.

Speaker 2 Because missing a business call, that's like watching money fly out of the window and straight into the competitor's hands.

Speaker 2 That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo, formerly Open Phone, the smarter way to run your business communications.

Speaker 3 Look, Quo is the number one business phone system. It's built for 2025, not 1995.
It's rated the top choice for customer satisfaction with over 3,000 reviews on G2.

Speaker 3 Forget juggling phones or using a landline. Quo works right from an app on your phone or your computer.
And I got to tell you something: 90,000 businesses are already running on Quo.

Speaker 3 They do this because they understand, like we understand, that the customer, our fans, are the most important. So you don't want to miss a call.
You don't want to miss something important.

Speaker 3 And that's why Quo is here to help.

Speaker 2 Start your free trial today, plus get 20% off your first six months at quo.com/slash bad friends.

Speaker 3 It's spelled quo, q-u-o.com/slash bad friends.

Speaker 2 And if you already have a number, quo will port it over for free. Quo.
No missed calls, no missed customers.

Speaker 2 Really?

Speaker 2 But let's try, how about for the next five minutes, do deep voice. Let's see what's what's clearer.
Okay, for the next five minutes. Five minutes.
Yeah, yeah. How are you? I'm good.

Speaker 3 So your trip to the bottom.

Speaker 2 Oh, but the laugh is still high. I keep the laugh high.

Speaker 2 I like the fucking.

Speaker 3 Do you have any plans here in L.A. that you look forward to? Do you want to do something in L.A.
tomorrow?

Speaker 2 I'm only here for one day, so I don't have a lot of plans all the time.

Speaker 3 Do you want to stay for another day?

Speaker 2 Can I?

Speaker 3 What would you do for another day?

Speaker 2 They bring my Switch too, so I can play some games in there. Good.
Wow. That's very good.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Now, you're obsessed with Japanese culture.

Speaker 2 What is it? I'm not obsessed, but I like it. I would say obsessed.
I think upset.

Speaker 2 I think you're more Japanese than Dominican. That's what he listened to on the plane the whole way here.
I asked him, he said J-pop. J-pop.

Speaker 3 What is J-pop? Japanese pop. I know, but like, who's the famous group that you like?

Speaker 2 Not K-pop. K-pop is better, no?

Speaker 2 I don't.

Speaker 2 What do you have a problem with Koreans for? That's what I believe.

Speaker 2 You have a problem with Koreans, dude. You have a problem with Koreans.
Yeah, yeah. Because Koreans, we have the best pop.

Speaker 2 But I don't listen to it.

Speaker 2 It's not that I don't listen to it. I just like J-pop better.
Yeah, but okay.

Speaker 2 Why do you like J- So you have a specific fetish with Japanese people? Haven't you heard like the way that they speak the language?

Speaker 2 It's like so cool.

Speaker 2 I think they got blessed. They got the looks, the language.
The only thing that they didn't get blessed with was with the pee-pee. The pee-pee size.

Speaker 3 The pee-pee size.

Speaker 2 Dude.

Speaker 2 But that's not a stereotype.

Speaker 2 Hold on, hold on.

Speaker 2 Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, Chris.

Speaker 3 Is it a true stereotype? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, tonight, when you go to WeSpa, you're going to be able to see. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Do I have to go naked in there? No, you can wear shorts. And McCone knows how to do it.
They have shorts there.

Speaker 2 And you'll be able to compare because there's a lot of naked Asian men there. I mean,

Speaker 2 in my case, I'm I'm not a

Speaker 2 I'm not a shower, I'm more like a grower. Ah, yes, yeah, me too.
We're all like that, yeah, we're all like that. I look like the statue of the guy with the Michelangelo.

Speaker 2 Can you Google it? Yeah, that guy, yeah, so your penis is like that, like that, kind of, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, and you're a grower. Is it a thick pubes? You have a thick pubes like that?

Speaker 2 Can I can I say

Speaker 2 can you say it? I mean, I haven't done anything for like

Speaker 2 more than a decade. So, right, yeah, so it's like a Cambodian jungle.

Speaker 2 I watch the viral podcast, you know, Chelsea Ling and

Speaker 2 Paige Jim.

Speaker 3 Chelsea Lynn and Paige Gin, yes, yeah, yeah, yes.

Speaker 2 Paige has an only fans. I'm not subscribed, but she's not subscribed.

Speaker 2 I should call Paige.

Speaker 2 She mentions it a lot. Yeah, yeah.
So maybe. Let me see if Paige picks up.
up.

Speaker 2 So I'm keeping my bush.

Speaker 2 Maybe we can make a collab later. Ah.

Speaker 2 I'm keeping it.

Speaker 3 So just Paige has a big bush, and you think your bush can match hers? Is that what you're saying?

Speaker 2 Probably. Okay.

Speaker 3 Are you attracted to Paige?

Speaker 2 Is that why you're... I mean, she's good-looking.

Speaker 3 Yes, but I'm saying, are you...

Speaker 2 And she's funny too.

Speaker 3 She's funny and she's good looking.

Speaker 2 And she says in the podcast that she's Asian. She is Asian.
She is. All she needs to do is to watch some anime and play some video games, and we are good.

Speaker 3 So then, this is kind of like your dream girl.

Speaker 2 And another one is

Speaker 2 Olivia from the H3 podcast.

Speaker 3 That's your other crush.

Speaker 2 Yeah, let's see.

Speaker 3 Kid, you think we can make this happen?

Speaker 2 Oh, I know Olivia. Can you? Yeah.
She's hot. She's hot.
She's way out of my league.

Speaker 3 Nobody's out of your league.

Speaker 2 No one's out of your league. That's it.
They are. They are.
No, no, they're not. Listen to me.
They're not. That's the negativity negativity in your head.
There's no one out of your league. No.

Speaker 2 I mean, look at what I've done.

Speaker 3 I got to tell you, I don't even know what league you're fucking in.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're in a league of your own.
You're in a league of your own.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And isn't that beautiful? The big nose league. If you work at Bed Bath and Beyond, you'll be the Beyond department.
Yeah, way beyond. Yeah, way beyond.

Speaker 2 You'd be in the Don Domingo. Yeah, we don't even know what they sell in that section.

Speaker 3 And no one does. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Can we? Floating orbs. I don't know what they do.
Lightning in a bottle. Can we discuss the age first? I don't want to be

Speaker 2 labeled as a.

Speaker 3 What do you mean? They're grown adults, aren't they? Paige is an adult. She's an adult.
What do you mean? She's a grown woman. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But I'm kind of on the older side.

Speaker 3 You're 33. 32.

Speaker 3 No, that's not old.

Speaker 2 That's not old. No.

Speaker 3 Do you know how old Bobby is? 54. He's 54 years old.

Speaker 2 I mean, they live longer, so.

Speaker 2 He matches.

Speaker 2 Asian.

Speaker 2 They do live longer. They do live longer, yeah, yeah.
It's like dog years. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Korean years. No, let's not mention dogs.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 What's the average lifespan of a Dominican Republican, of someone from the DR?

Speaker 3 Half of an Asian. 73 years.
What's the average lifespan of Koreans?

Speaker 2 40 more.

Speaker 3 83 years. They got you by a decade.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 A decade. I need to start doing exercise.

Speaker 3 You do need to exercise. We all do.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so I'm basically 44. You are? In white years.

Speaker 3 White years. Well, no, no, that's DR.
Yeah. What is the average lifespan of

Speaker 3 a white American?

Speaker 2 78. Wow.

Speaker 3 78. Oh, we're catching up to Korean.

Speaker 2 That's not too far off. It's not possible.
All they eat is McDonald's or in Burger King.

Speaker 3 That's not all we eat.

Speaker 3 What do you eat?

Speaker 2 Yeah. I mean, they created Erwan, dude.
Yeah. I mean,

Speaker 2 organic food.

Speaker 3 What do you eat? What dinner?

Speaker 2 What do you eat, dude? Plantains? I mean, sometimes. Yeah.
I believe you don't believe in the afterlife.

Speaker 2 I don't. Oh, you think this is it?

Speaker 3 What happens when we die?

Speaker 2 I will let you know once

Speaker 2 I hit the boat.

Speaker 3 Once you hit the boat?

Speaker 2 That's a term? I've never heard that.

Speaker 3 Dominican Republic.

Speaker 2 I mean, once you hit the boat,

Speaker 2 that's it. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 That's it. Once you hit the boat,

Speaker 2 that's it. The boat is going to be.
That's it.

Speaker 2 Okay, once you hit it. It's like the Green Reaper when he comes to take your soul.

Speaker 3 You believe the Grim Reaper is real?

Speaker 2 No, but you know, that's what people say.

Speaker 3 But when it's over,

Speaker 3 where do you think you go? You think it's totally done?

Speaker 2 I mean, I don't know. I know, we don't know.
I'm not supposed to know.

Speaker 3 Well, no, none of us know, but what do you think happens?

Speaker 2 No idea. Right.
It's a mystery. It's a mystery.
Yeah. And that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 What would you like to think? What do you think you'd like to have happen?

Speaker 2 According to the age range,

Speaker 2 we should probably be asking Bobby about that.

Speaker 3 Well, he is the elder.

Speaker 2 I'm the elder. So what are you asking me? Like, you think I'm going to go first? Well, probably.

Speaker 2 If we go by age. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But judging by... My bet is on Carlos, but okay.
Yeah, I was going to say that. Judging on,

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I think maybe George.
Yeah, George. Yeah.
George seems so stressed.

Speaker 2 Judging on like

Speaker 2 substances? I don't know. I'm yeah.
In fact, George,

Speaker 2 George feels like he's the father of Greg and Agoop and Christopher.

Speaker 3 This is kind of that's yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 See, look at that. The dad.
That's the dad. That's the dad of it.
The whole family. I'm super chill.
Come on. No, but it's the same kind of beyond.
Good sell, Joe. Come on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm super chill. Come on.
Yeah. George, you're.
You're a cool dad. Come on.
What are you talking about? No, it's just genetically.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 3 You know what I mean? Christopher. Yeah.

Speaker 3 So you moved bodies for, and then when did you move to the States again? When did you moved up to Alb Albany?

Speaker 2 I came to the States when I was around 17, I think. Okay.
Wow.

Speaker 3 You finished high school?

Speaker 2 Yes. College? I did like two years and...

Speaker 3 Where did you go again? I think we asked you.

Speaker 2 The co college? Yeah, did you do college?

Speaker 2 Tech. I went for computer science, but I wasn't comprehending anything.

Speaker 3 You were bored?

Speaker 2 Kind of.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because you're very smart.

Speaker 2 I don't think I am.

Speaker 3 I think you are.

Speaker 2 Are you?

Speaker 3 You don't? I think you're lying. I think you are smart.

Speaker 2 You're smarter than me, for sure. I wouldn't be able to do electronics and build a panel.

Speaker 2 It's kind of easy. They give you like a map, so you just follow the map.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Did you do good in school when you were young?

Speaker 2 I did good in math.

Speaker 3 Math, right. You are smart.

Speaker 2 Math is very hard. Only with the numbers.

Speaker 3 Oh, you're only good with the numbers. Well, math does involve numbers, yeah.

Speaker 2 So you don't know anything about history?

Speaker 2 I did take one year of history here. Okay.
What did we learn? High school year. What did we learn then? Tell us about the Industrial Revolution.

Speaker 2 I don't know. I don't remember that.
Okay. I think that the thing that I remember the most

Speaker 2 was about the

Speaker 2 cotton picking.

Speaker 3 Tell us about that.

Speaker 2 Tell us about the cotton. I don't remember.

Speaker 2 I've never heard of that.

Speaker 2 Have you?

Speaker 3 It doesn't ring a bell for me.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Slaves picking cotton.

Speaker 2 What? What?

Speaker 3 What do you mean? What do you mean?

Speaker 2 History. Yeah, I know, but tell us about slaves and...

Speaker 3 Slaves did what?

Speaker 2 Pick cotton? Yeah, when? Am I? When did that work? When? I don't know the year. Okay.

Speaker 2 Recently? Like, 10 years, 15 years?

Speaker 2 Not with AI, probably

Speaker 2 more recent. Okay.
Yeah, probably. Probably, yeah, yeah.
Interesting. That's the only thing you know about history.
That's interesting. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Was that fascinating, that category? Is that why you got stuck on it?

Speaker 2 Maybe because I

Speaker 2 I came here without knowing how to speak English and

Speaker 2 I went my s my senior year, you know, in like a super white school, high school.

Speaker 3 Did you like that or not like it?

Speaker 2 I I didn't mind.

Speaker 2 Imagine he has he doesn't know to speak the English. I had a bunch of friends.
You did have a lot? Okay, good.

Speaker 3 Do you still keep in touch with friends from high school?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Nobody? Zero.

Speaker 3 Well, do you have a group of friends back home, a tight group of friends that you hang out with or play video games with?

Speaker 2 Would you do the One Piece card game, maybe? You know what I mean? I got a few friends from playing the One Piece card game.

Speaker 2 And when you go in there, hey, Gilbert, what's going on?

Speaker 2 Let's say we're in the

Speaker 2 room. Oh, Big C's here.
Hey, Big C, what's up, man? What's up, man? Yeah. Eugene.
I don't know if you remember.

Speaker 2 Caleb. It's Caleb, Caleb, and Eugene, man.
I just say, hey, you guys want to play some games to me? No, no, no.

Speaker 3 Today we want to talk about stuff.

Speaker 2 Yeah, let's talk about stuff right now, man. Tell me.
Dude, how was Bad Friends? I heard you went to LA, man. What was it like? You wouldn't know what's funny? What, dude?

Speaker 2 One guy actually asked me, like, that he heard my voice because he's one of the viewers.

Speaker 2 What are you talking about, man? What do you think? He's a viewer for a fan. What was it like in LA, man?

Speaker 3 Did you have fun with Bobby and Andrew?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I had a lot of fun. What did you do? What did you do, man? I just talked in the podcast.
Yeah, but do you do anything afterwards, man? Well, I mean, we are planning right now.

Speaker 2 I mean, we plan to do it, but

Speaker 2 let my past me.

Speaker 2 It's like...

Speaker 3 I love it.

Speaker 2 You do?

Speaker 3 I think it's so funny.

Speaker 3 Peace of me thinks he's doing it deliberately.

Speaker 2 You think so? Uh-huh. I'm not trying to.
Oh, you think he's the anti-Kaufman Kaufman?

Speaker 3 He's going to walk outside smoking cigarette tips and be like, man, that shit was weird.

Speaker 2 No, I met him before.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we've met him before.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, Good, how are you? I don't like to tell lies.
Yeah, good. Well, this show is unless unless it's for like comedy purposes.

Speaker 3 That's what this show is.

Speaker 2 That's what this show is. The whole show is

Speaker 2 the whole show. Yeah.
But I don't know how to invent these stories. Or tell me how One Piece card game, because we don't know what it is.
I know One Piece based on the anime,

Speaker 2 right?

Speaker 2 So is it like

Speaker 2 regular cards with like king, queen? I mean, with

Speaker 3 yeah, what is it like? What is it?

Speaker 2 It's like you, it's like pokemon cards oh ah look at that so if i have the monkey

Speaker 3 zoom in on that onekey luffy yeah you have the monkey what nothing

Speaker 2 if i have the monkey d luffy card is that good

Speaker 2 you can run four copies of each character card okay

Speaker 2 so you can have four monkeys okay i have four monkeys okay

Speaker 2 if i have three monkeys is that bad

Speaker 2 It depends on the range that you want to have your deck. Okay.

Speaker 2 Well, we know how to play the game now. There it is.
I guess we got it.

Speaker 2 We got it. $2,800?

Speaker 3 Good God, is that expensive?

Speaker 2 That's the first set. It's like the Pokemon.

Speaker 2 It's a deck. It's like a bunch of cards, right?

Speaker 3 Do you have anything like this?

Speaker 2 That is like $2,000 something?

Speaker 3 Yeah, do you have a one-piece deck like that?

Speaker 2 That's like a whole set.

Speaker 2 Okay. But if we got you that, would you be happy? The 2,000 one? Yeah.
Don't get it. Why? It's a waste of money.
Okay, give me the one that you would want. Not that I would get it.

Speaker 2 I can buy my own.

Speaker 2 You guys don't need to buy it.

Speaker 3 In your fucking face.

Speaker 2 In my fucking face.

Speaker 2 Really?

Speaker 2 There's not a car. You can afford these card decks.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's got a job. He's got a good job.
Is there something that you've always wanted?

Speaker 2 It's not good. It's not that good.

Speaker 3 Is there something you've always wanted that you can't afford in the card game because Bob and I would buy it for you? Is what he's saying.

Speaker 2 Nah, okay, good. Wow.
You don't like getting gifts.

Speaker 2 I don't mind.

Speaker 2 This guy's a wonky contradiction.

Speaker 2 I can't figure it out. I can't figure it out.

Speaker 2 In each car set

Speaker 2 box,

Speaker 2 there is a special car that is called the manga rare. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And since the set number three,

Speaker 2 I've been opening one pack, I mean one box. of each set to

Speaker 2 now they are in set 13 i think it is or 12 and i haven't got a a single manga once.

Speaker 2 That's what it is. So my luck is super bad.

Speaker 3 Oh, you know what I'm thinking about right now?

Speaker 2 And don't get it. Don't get it.
We're not going to get it, dude.

Speaker 2 I hear your mind.

Speaker 2 If you are going to get me one, get me the Sanji.

Speaker 3 Masai, Sanji.

Speaker 2 Don't. That's $100,000.
Don't get it. Don't get it.

Speaker 3 Well, it's $100,000.

Speaker 2 No, it's not that one. That's Yamato.
All right, it's in the cart. Don't, don't, don't buy it.
We're not going to buy that for you.

Speaker 2 Don't buy that,

Speaker 2 Carlos. I won't, I won't.
Get out of that.

Speaker 2 If you buy that, if you buy that, I'm never coming back to that podcast. Buy it now.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 ShipStation. Oh, my God.
We have an online business.

Speaker 3 E-commerce business.

Speaker 2 And we use ShipStation because we only use the best. If you run an e-commerce business, you know customers' reviews have an enormous impact on your business.
They really do.

Speaker 3 Level up your business with ShipStation. ShipStation goes beyond just shipping labels.
It's order fulfillment excellence.

Speaker 3 And thanks to ShipStation, ShipStation, we're able to get all that merch to you guys, like those hats and the socks and the hoodies. And we got new merch coming out again soon.

Speaker 3 And thanks to ShipStation, they make it so simple and so easy.

Speaker 2 ShipStation grows with you. Customers report scaling operations up to 40 times with ShipStation.

Speaker 3 That's so big. That's a lot.
Automate your workflow and save time, reduce human error through an unlimited number of ways to automate the fulfillment process. It's the best in-class carrier savings.

Speaker 3 Discounts up to 90% off rates on all the major global carriers.

Speaker 2 98% of companies that stick with ShipStation for a year become customers for life.

Speaker 3 Centralize your fulfillment operations in one place with over 400 store carrier and tool integrations.

Speaker 3 There's a reason why successful businesses use ShipStation while your customers and get rave reviews with cheaper, faster, and better shipping.

Speaker 3 Upgrade to ShipStation today to get a 60-day free trial at shipstation.com slash bad friends.

Speaker 2 There's no credit card or contract required and you can cancel anytime.

Speaker 3 That's shipstation.com slash bad friends.

Speaker 2 Rocket money. I've saved so much money on Rocket Money.
I had so many subscriptions. I am not even aware of it.

Speaker 3 It's almost like they hide it from you, but thanks to Rocket Money.

Speaker 3 Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps and find and to cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

Speaker 3 If you got a goal that you're saving for financially, Rocket Money can analyze your accounts to find the best time each month to put extra money aside.

Speaker 2 Rocket Money shows you all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you forgot about. If you see a subscription you no longer want, Rocket Money will help you cancel it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's pretty incredible.

Speaker 3 Rocket Money will even try to negotiate to lower your bills for you so you don't have to do all that stupid heavy lifting, trying to explain to the person on the other end of a phone that's usually not even there.

Speaker 3 Rocket Money has saved users over $2.5 billion, including over $880 million in canceled subscriptions alone.

Speaker 3 Their 10 million members have saved up to $740 a year when they use all the app's premium features.

Speaker 2 Get alerts if your bills increase in price, if there's unusual activity in your accounts, if you're close to going over budget, and even when you're doing a good job.

Speaker 3 And you will be doing a good job because Rocket Money has got got you covered. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money.

Speaker 3 Go to RocketMoney.com slash Bad Friends today.

Speaker 2 That's RocketMoney.com slash Bad Friends. RocketMoney.com slash Bad Friends.

Speaker 2 Chime. You know, when I was younger,

Speaker 2 I was terrible at banking. I was confused.
So bad.

Speaker 2 Overdraft charges.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I just didn't know how to handle my money. I didn't know how to manage it.
And also, no one was there to help. But Chime understands that every dollar counts.

Speaker 3 That's why when you set up direct deposit through Chime, you get access to fee-free features like overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit, and much more, which definitely would have helped me when I was doing my PA jobs back in the day.

Speaker 2 Also, with qualifying direct deposits, you are eligible for free overdraft up to $200 or debit card purchases and cash withdrawal.

Speaker 3 You can learn more about it at chime.com/slash bad friends. Today, Chime has spotted members over $30 billion, right?

Speaker 3 You need a little bit of help, you need a little money quicker than normal because something pops up. It always does.

Speaker 3 You open up a check-in account with zero monthly fees and no maintenance fees, and you got access to over 47,000 fee-free ATMs. That's more than the top three national banks combined.

Speaker 3 All those ATMs are there for you to use and don't get clipped. You got to try Chime.

Speaker 2 Work on your financial goals through Chime today. Open an account in two minutes at chime.com/slash bad friends.

Speaker 3 That's chime.com/slash bad friends. Chime feel like progress.

Speaker 5 Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank.

Speaker 5 Banking services and debit card provided by the Bankor Bank NA or Stride Bank NA, members, FDIC, spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply.

Speaker 5 Timing depends on submission of payment file. Fees apply at out-of-network ATMs, bank ranking, and number of ATMs, according to U.S.
News and World Report 2023. Chime checking account required.

Speaker 2 Are your brothers working? Yes. Okay, good.
I have my

Speaker 2 31-year-old brother. He works in the same place that I work at.
Oh, you're assembling stuff.

Speaker 2 So you see him every day? Yes. I see.
What's his name?

Speaker 2 Denny. Denny? Yes, Denny.
Do you say hi when you? I mean, you saw him in the morning when you woke up, but when you walk into the business, do you go, hey, Denny? Or no?

Speaker 2 I mean, there is another guy called Denny in the same place.

Speaker 2 I I said to him not to my brother

Speaker 2 You're an enigma sometimes you're a fucking enigma dude I love you I loved you from the jump yeah sometimes I wake up and I have to go and wake this guy out of his bed because he is still sleeping your brother your brother well then you go wake up Danny we gotta go to work yeah yeah and does he get mad when you wake him up no oh he's like oh shit and then when you wake up do you drink coffee what do you do how do you get yourself eating like a bagel and some juice.

Speaker 2 You don't drink caffeine ever? I do monster energy. Maybe like once every like five months.

Speaker 3 Monster energy?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It lasts.

Speaker 2 I don't do like... One sip a day? Yeah, one sip a day.

Speaker 2 I don't really drink energy drinks.

Speaker 2 You don't drink? Not often. You don't do any drugs.
You don't drink. You drink one monster energy every five months.
Every five months. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 You don't do much. I don't do much.
All I do is... You don't believe in God? I go to work.

Speaker 2 After work, I go home. I either go to the grocery store.

Speaker 2 And if I don't have to go, I just go to my computer, watch anime, or play games.

Speaker 3 What's your dream, picture?

Speaker 2 My dream.

Speaker 2 And you listen to us, though. Yes.
At work?

Speaker 2 Yes, to a bunch of podcasts. Oh, oh.

Speaker 2 That's a feel for it.

Speaker 3 Did any of those other podcasts fly you out?

Speaker 2 Yeah, but you guys are number one.

Speaker 2 Even before this, you guys were number one for you.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 2 So I love that.

Speaker 3 So what are your, what's your dreams, Big C? I want to know for real.

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 2 can't really tell. Like, you don't want to tell me? I'm like...
Well, you want a woman? I'm like... Girlfriend, right?

Speaker 2 I'm like happy with what I have. Life is good.
Oh, my God. Dude, you know what he's like? Chauncey Gardner from being

Speaker 2 there.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Do you watch pornography?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 Let me guess. Let me guess what you watch.

Speaker 2 Let me see what your Google is.

Speaker 2 I mean, it's not porn hub. It's not hard to guess.

Speaker 3 It's anime. It's simple.
It's all anime porn.

Speaker 2 Is it anime porn?

Speaker 2 80% of it.

Speaker 2 What's the 20?

Speaker 2 What's the other girl? What's the 20 person? 20. Like regular stuff.
But Japanese girls? Asian girls? Sometimes. Okay.
They don't

Speaker 2 know you that you should.

Speaker 2 I used to like

Speaker 2 Hitomi Tanaka, but she retired.

Speaker 3 He to know me Hitaka.

Speaker 2 He told me Tanaka. She used to be

Speaker 2 like the top Japanese

Speaker 2 porn actor. Let's look at what she looks like.
Yes. Is that her? Yes.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 You like her? Well, so you like.

Speaker 2 Wait. You like exaggerated breasts and stuff.
No, like,

Speaker 2 you know, like.

Speaker 2 Look at that. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Hitomi. that was your favorite.
Nah,

Speaker 2 but he knew. Oh, he told me, yes, yeah, yeah, he used to be my favorite.
Yeah, secrets, you like big breaths, y'all are

Speaker 2 kind of, yeah,

Speaker 2 kind of. I don't, I don't mind the size, but you know, a plus is a plus.

Speaker 3 He sounds like fancy, yeah. That is what fancy would say.
E plus, he's a plus.

Speaker 2 The way that you do accents is so good. I love you, buddy.

Speaker 3 They are so funny. I'm so fascinated with it.
Big C is wild.

Speaker 2 He's wild, a wild guy.

Speaker 2 You love your stepdad? Yeah. He's a cool guy.
What's his name? He just asks, you know, what Andrew has.

Speaker 2 He asks what Andrew has? Yes, like kind of angry, anger issues.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 He's got you, dude.

Speaker 2 The whole family's got you, dude.

Speaker 2 No, like you. Like, he goes from zero to 100, like, in one second.
Who, Andrew? No, my stepfather. All right.
But I'm assuming. Describe my personality.
You are a cool guy.

Speaker 2 Probably like kind of depressed every once in a while.

Speaker 2 Pretty good.

Speaker 3 And then what is mine? Describe mine.

Speaker 2 I don't really know you, Dago.

Speaker 2 Like, I watch it. Whiskey.

Speaker 2 I watch it Whiskey Ginger too, don't get me wrong. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You watch Tiger Belly? Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 2 What do you prefer?

Speaker 2 Can I say it? Yeah, say it.

Speaker 2 He's not going to like it.

Speaker 2 I actually like Tiger Belly.

Speaker 2 But that's because of your energy. I think that

Speaker 2 we...

Speaker 2 I'm not trying to say. Oh, God.
I'm so. Hey, bud.
Happy birthday, dude.

Speaker 2 You're a good guy, dude. You're talented.

Speaker 2 Bobby, next time you fly me out.

Speaker 2 Wow, it turned. It was Andrew's idea.
It was Andrew's idea to come out here. I like you, Andrew.
Don't get me wrong.

Speaker 2 No heart feelings.

Speaker 2 The hotel was his choice and everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 It was all Andrew, dude. Can I stay at your house? You want to stay at my house? I don't think Andrew is going to pay yet.

Speaker 2 Oh, we'll pay. We'll pay, dude.

Speaker 2 Now, Andrew, can I talk to you? How do you feel? How do you know? Be quiet for a second.

Speaker 2 Andrew, look at me. How do you feel about Christopher?

Speaker 3 I am.

Speaker 3 I'm pretty excited for the show to come to a close.

Speaker 2 I'll tell you that. Yeah.
Bad friends.

Speaker 2 What about you, Bobby? Why?

Speaker 3 I'm excited for this to come to a close.

Speaker 2 No, no, no. No, this is going to take slowly fading away.

Speaker 3 No, it's not. And it's this kind of stuff.

Speaker 2 No, it's not this kind kind of stuff. No, no, no.
No, here's the thing.

Speaker 2 No, Christopher, shut the fuck up. Bobby, all right.
Bobby. Christopher.
Bobby.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 2 I can.

Speaker 2 I can cover. Christopher, shut the fuck up.

Speaker 2 Andrew, Andrew. Andrew?

Speaker 2 Look at me right now. Christopher

Speaker 3 would never have stepped foot in here

Speaker 3 if I didn't say.

Speaker 2 I know. Let's get him out here.
Christopher, shut the fuck up. Go ahead.
And he's the cool guy.

Speaker 3 And I'm the old school

Speaker 3 conservative

Speaker 2 rager.

Speaker 2 Can I say something?

Speaker 3 No, no, no. I'm an inch away from calling ice on you.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I actually like my drinks to be warm.
So

Speaker 2 I don't like ice. Very good.
That's a good joke. That's a good job.

Speaker 2 That's a very good job. That's a very good job.
Let me say something. Okay.
Please, God. Like, I really.

Speaker 3 You haven't said enough on this podcast.

Speaker 2 I think I was going to talk a lot less, but.

Speaker 3 No, we're happy that you're talking. Yeah, we like that.
This is revealing a lot.

Speaker 2 I really appreciate that. I mean, I assumed that Bobby wouldn't remember that

Speaker 2 interview.

Speaker 3 He did not.

Speaker 2 But I really appreciate that you were the one that said to bring me.

Speaker 2 It was all Andrew, dude.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
So now who do you like more? From the bottom. of my heart.
I thank you. If that's it's my maybe even though it's if it's empty it's an empty heart.

Speaker 3 so you're a heartless person

Speaker 2 a little bit okay great wow I really don't have empathy I like this guy I mean I tend to go overboard with it with empathy

Speaker 2 you go overboard with empathy

Speaker 2 I don't know how to sympathize is that war yeah yeah yeah with well let me say something in in November snap benefits are probably going to go away for 40 some million

Speaker 2 right Americans how do you feel about that? What is a snap benefit? Okay, alrighty, check. No snap.

Speaker 2 What about

Speaker 2 Obamacare, right?

Speaker 2 It's going to end for it's good.

Speaker 2 What? Go ahead. I told these guys when I was in the car,

Speaker 2 when they were driving me to the hotel,

Speaker 2 that I don't know anything.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's right. Oh, you asked him about the I showed him where the Palisades fire was, and he didn't know anything about it.

Speaker 2 I told you like most of the news that I that come up in like

Speaker 2 in like YouTube and stuff like that, I only see it when something like big happens that YouTube like forces you to see like a right. He just looks at the thumbnail.
He doesn't click on this.

Speaker 2 I don't click on anything. I just that's how he reads the news by thumbnail.

Speaker 3 You don't get involved with politics and world news. Right.
That's good.

Speaker 2 I just, you know, I just

Speaker 2 have a podcast, play my games that's good

Speaker 2 that's so good dude that is fair i think i think it's good for mental health i do too i do you know what he's on to something yeah you he is

Speaker 2 i ignore a lot of people that's not good you need to learn the new no i me too i agree with that but yeah yeah yeah no let him float let him floating yeah what are you gonna sink his boat you're right yeah you're gonna take down that boat

Speaker 2 but i think the problem is the apathy of people that just don't care you know what i mean and if more people cared i I think

Speaker 2 I mean, I care about you know the people that I'm around, but all right. So, you care about me and Andrew, yes, now that I'm here, yeah, and you guys are around me.

Speaker 2 So, if Andrew passed away suddenly, yeah, how would you feel? I would feel bad, but we can keep making the podcast just you and me.

Speaker 2 I think

Speaker 2 oh my god, oh my god, I've never seen Andrew like this. Oh my god.

Speaker 2 I'm just joking. This is just joke.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I like you a lot.

Speaker 2 Are you joking? Yeah, yeah. He's joking.

Speaker 3 It took shots at me the whole show.

Speaker 2 I know, I know. I feel old school, conservative.
I know, I know.

Speaker 3 And I don't even know. Rigid.
Rigid.

Speaker 2 I feel like you can take it better than Bobby.

Speaker 3 Anger management. Yeah.
You beat your kids. I beat my.
I don't even have kids.

Speaker 2 He doesn't even have kids, but

Speaker 2 I'm fun-loving. Cool, dude.
It's because I feel like you can take it better than Bobby. Oh, I'm sensitive.
Oh, now I'm sensitive. No, no, no.

Speaker 3 This sets up.

Speaker 2 Yeah, now I'm sensitive.

Speaker 3 No, he's being manipulative. That's what he's doing.
Oh, you are?

Speaker 2 He knows. I have watched more podcasts with you being sensitive than him.

Speaker 2 Oh, I feel like he's more

Speaker 2 hard rock. Hard rock.
But I'll be honest with you. What people don't know, though, is that he's extremely sensitive as well.

Speaker 3 People know.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and also, not on top of that, right? He goes through deep depressions like I do, right? And we have to be there for him, you know? And

Speaker 2 I think in many ways, Andrew. You're going to have to go through one right now.

Speaker 3 I'm living it.

Speaker 2 I know. And I think in many ways, me and Andrew are similar.
People don't realize that, you know?

Speaker 2 Like when we're off camera and stuff, when we're together, we share a lot of like, you know what I mean, fears and

Speaker 2 paranoia yeah and sadness and all that what's your biggest fear my biggest fear what do you fear i fear snakes

Speaker 3 you're perfect

Speaker 2 snakes yes that's the biggest fear and let me say i'm sorry for like

Speaker 2 assuming after what bobby said

Speaker 2 i don't i don't mean any of what i said you know

Speaker 2 oh no about snakes no about you and oh oh

Speaker 3 the damage is done.

Speaker 2 It's just playing around.

Speaker 3 No, no, it's.

Speaker 2 I know it's 2025. No, I shouldn't be assuming.

Speaker 3 No, no, it's

Speaker 3 the damage is done.

Speaker 3 You really hurt my feelings.

Speaker 2 He's going to go through a really deep one now. You hurt my feelings.
We can go to the spot. No, he's not going to go.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 My feelings are hurt.

Speaker 2 His feelings are hurt. We can go golfing.
I never golf.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Oh, perfect. I imagine.

Speaker 2 I know that you like golf. Are you good at bowling?

Speaker 2 Average.

Speaker 2 Yeah, right, right, right.

Speaker 2 Well, I'm because I'm because, you know, because he's Dominican,

Speaker 2 he's going to be in Florida. Yeah.
Right. My fear is, because they don't care.
I think that, you know, brown guy, I'm just afraid that they're going to.

Speaker 3 You want to protect him?

Speaker 2 Because, yeah, he will get chased. I can see him getting chased.

Speaker 3 Well, he did all those. That's a good thing.
He did all those.

Speaker 2 With the accent, I know.

Speaker 2 I mean, I can change my voice.

Speaker 2 Yeah. All right.
So, like, we're ice, right? Let's see how this goes. Let's see how how this goes, right? Change of a note.
Just play, get in the scene, get into the scene, right?

Speaker 2 Hey,

Speaker 2 freeze, get on the fucking get on the fuck ground. Wait,

Speaker 2 I'm American. Where are you from? Where are you from, man? I come from Albany.
I mean,

Speaker 2 I meant to say Florida. Book him.

Speaker 2 I messed up the steps. Yeah, yeah, you did.
You did.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I would say, like, sorry, sorry, my voice crack.

Speaker 2 Oh, very good save. Very, good.
Yeah. It's a good save.
Okay, good.

Speaker 2 Wow. All right.

Speaker 2 What is that?

Speaker 2 People are saying Selena Gomez's new look is Bobby Mom.

Speaker 2 A little bit. A little bit like my mom.

Speaker 3 What do you mean her new look? What did she do different?

Speaker 2 I think she was for a video game. Or a music video.

Speaker 3 I mean, she does look different.

Speaker 3 I can't tell what makes her look different. Selena Gomez looks stunning for the in-the-dark music video someone said here on the video.

Speaker 2 I think I know what it is. What is it?

Speaker 2 It's like

Speaker 2 the yellow light and the yellow thing of me.

Speaker 2 Oh, she's 33. I don't know why.

Speaker 3 I thought she was much younger for some reason. Yeah.

Speaker 3 She's been famous. When you get famous that young, you're like young forever.
You're that age forever. It's kind of crazy.
Do would you ever want to be famous, Big C?

Speaker 2 Me.

Speaker 3 Well, if you were famous, what would change then? You think that you would be famous?

Speaker 2 Nothing. I would be the same, the same guy.

Speaker 3 Same guy.

Speaker 2 Well, I mean,

Speaker 2 this podcast is dedicated to you, right? I mean, this is just

Speaker 2 your episode, right? So it's going to get out there, right? And some people are going to probably

Speaker 2 become famous, but probably like the viral podcast or H3.

Speaker 2 I need to meet Paige.

Speaker 2 And only

Speaker 3 a stepping stone to get to a better show.

Speaker 2 You want to get to H3.

Speaker 2 And the viral podcast.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 And the the what podcast? The viral. The viral podcast.
Chelsea Lynn. You think Chelsea Lynn and Paige Gen are bigger than us? No, but they are like my...
They are not bigger than you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 They are just my coin.

Speaker 3 Hello, beautiful. You're on the podcast real fast.
And we can cut it out. We can cut it out if you want.
But Bobby and I are sitting here. Is there any chance under the sun?

Speaker 2 Can I say something? Let her know that I'm on broken. Shut the fuck up.

Speaker 3 Is there any chance under the sun that you're with Paige right now?

Speaker 2 Oh, God. I left her about 10 minutes ago.

Speaker 3 Damn. Okay, so there's a guy that's here who we have on the show.
We flew out to be our placement for Andres for Fancy B. And he is, and I mean, in love with Paige.

Speaker 3 Like, and I mean, it's, he's obsessed.

Speaker 2 He's shut.

Speaker 2 Fuck. Shut the fuck up.
Shut up.

Speaker 2 Cut his mic off.

Speaker 3 So, Chelsea, is there any way? Can you... Can you text her if I can call her so we can introduce them at least?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I just dropped off at the airport.

Speaker 2 Oh, fuck. All right.
Well,

Speaker 3 send me a text and we'll figure something out for another time with her number. That's okay.

Speaker 2 She needs to hear that. I'm doing it right now, and good luck.

Speaker 3 I love you so much. She needs to hear that.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Okay, bye.

Speaker 2 Tell her that I'm a. No, it's over.

Speaker 2 Okay. What did you want to say, though?

Speaker 2 I just wanted to tell her that I'm a.

Speaker 2 They call their viewers

Speaker 2 rock fuckers.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 I want her to know that I'm wrong. It doesn't matter.

Speaker 2 Bobby.

Speaker 6 Bobby, Bobby, hey. Paige.

Speaker 2 Paige, are you at the airport?

Speaker 4 Yes, I'm at the airport.

Speaker 2 Can you talk for a second or no?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, no problem. Okay, so

Speaker 2 we found this guy on the internet.

Speaker 2 I mean, a guy applied to be an intern. Oh, you're live on the Bad Friends podcast, by the way.

Speaker 6 Oh, cool. No problem.
Okay.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 he's not only a gigantic fan of yours, but he kind of has a crush on you.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Now, are you seeing anybody right now, Paige?

Speaker 6 No.

Speaker 2 Oh, you're not? Because, you know, he follows your OnlyFans. We didn't know you had one.

Speaker 2 I don't follow her. Oh, really?

Speaker 4 Even though I've told you, huh?

Speaker 2 I know. I don't follow it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've never seen it.
Wait, Christopher, you've never seen her OnlyFans?

Speaker 2 I don't follow it she may some say but you've never seen it i'm i've never seen it okay what's on what's what's on your only fans page

Speaker 4 uh i do pube updates

Speaker 4 let me walk away from these people real quick okay uh we can do what i do some pube updates to that for inch pubes yeah

Speaker 2 love

Speaker 4 i play i play i spy my little brown eye i hide my bottle

Speaker 2 that's fine it's kind of and it's kind of like where it's called though yeah yeah it's a kids game i used to play it yeah

Speaker 4 But for adults, so you look for my bung-ho?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 What else? You fart on it? I love your farts.

Speaker 4 Yeah, got some farts.

Speaker 2 Christopher, you like Paige's farts?

Speaker 2 I'm not sure. But I'm okay with it.
What? No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.
Oh, you're nervous? No.

Speaker 4 Don't be nervous, man.

Speaker 6 It's just me.

Speaker 2 I'm just holding it there. I got it.
I'm just.

Speaker 2 I follow the podcast.

Speaker 2 I'm a rock fucker like you guys are.

Speaker 2 I haven't called a single time, and I have a Mickey Mouse voice. I don't know if you're okay with that.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, no choice, huh?

Speaker 2 I'm kind of nerdy, too. So,

Speaker 4 oh, don't be nervous.

Speaker 2 No, nerdy.

Speaker 2 Nerdy.

Speaker 2 Do you want to say anything else, sir?

Speaker 2 Not really.

Speaker 2 You shut that. This is your opportunity, man.

Speaker 2 She's waiting for you to talk to her.

Speaker 4 Chris, where do you live?

Speaker 2 Far away from here. I'm not close.

Speaker 2 He lives in Albany. I'm in Albany.
Well, I live in Albany, New York.

Speaker 4 New York, okay.

Speaker 2 Cool.

Speaker 2 It's so decent.

Speaker 4 What do you want to talk about?

Speaker 2 No, no, no, come on, Chris. You know, Paige, you know what we're going to do? We're going to teach him how to talk to ladies.

Speaker 2 And we're going to call you back in a couple of weeks, okay? We'll set it up.

Speaker 2 Have a safe flight, Paige. Thank you so much for picking up.

Speaker 4 Hey, thank you guys for calling.

Speaker 6 I love you.

Speaker 4 Shout out, bad friends. I love your guys' podcast.

Speaker 2 We love you. We love you too.
Bye. Love you.

Speaker 4 Love Santino.

Speaker 6 Love you, babe.

Speaker 4 Bye, Chris.

Speaker 2 Chris, Chris, Chris,

Speaker 2 drop the ball.

Speaker 2 You fucking failed. He wasn't meant to be.

Speaker 2 No, you won't. Oh, no.

Speaker 2 You didn't. What happened? You clammed up.
You shut down. Shut down.

Speaker 2 I don't, like you said, I don't know how to talk to.

Speaker 2 Yes, you do. Yes, you do.
You know how to talk to us.

Speaker 3 You have this brooding confidence. You shit on me for 25 minutes straight.

Speaker 3 And then you can't even fucking

Speaker 3 close.

Speaker 2 When it comes to friendship, I can do that. Oh, we're friends.

Speaker 3 Oh, we're fucking friends.

Speaker 3 You fucking dumped on me the whole show.

Speaker 2 We are bad friends.

Speaker 3 We are bad friends.

Speaker 2 He's the name of the

Speaker 3 while.

Speaker 3 I do think you blew that. You blew it.

Speaker 2 I do think you blew that. Yeah, you shut down.
Yeah, it was bad. Yeah.
What happened? I dropped the pole, Bobby.

Speaker 2 Did you ever?

Speaker 2 I know what it is. It's because I don't have a cover here.

Speaker 2 That has nothing to do with it.

Speaker 2 You're a good-looking guy. You're tall.
I'm decent. Yeah.
I'm not good-looking.

Speaker 2 You're tall?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 5'11 tall? Yeah. You just use that.
You look like a young F. Murray Abraham, you know?

Speaker 3 Are you wearing a.

Speaker 3 Is that shirt a fucking.?

Speaker 3 Is that that? It is.

Speaker 2 Oh, I forgot to show you guys. I'm not going to break it because he's wearing.
They told me not to do it.

Speaker 3 He's wearing one of Fancy's favorite shirts. Is that Fancy's shirt we gave him?

Speaker 2 George has one.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 But I have a one-piece t-shirt.

Speaker 2 He's like my Superman when I rip it. I get superpowers.

Speaker 2 And the pussy's dried up all across the land.

Speaker 2 That's why.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah. No, but that shirt looks good.
That is a, how do you say it? Say it how fancy he says it. The shirt, the name of the shirt, the brand.

Speaker 2 Unicolo?

Speaker 3 No,

Speaker 3 isn't that Desijuual?

Speaker 3 That's the one. Desijual.

Speaker 2 Desi wal. That's what he calls it, right? That's the brand.
Desijual. Desijual.

Speaker 2 Desijual? Desijual. Desijual.
Deci do.

Speaker 3 Desi dual. He says desijual.
Desijual.

Speaker 2 Desijual. Desiual clothing.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 2 They only make shoes.

Speaker 2 Desi wal.

Speaker 3 Desi wool. That's what I fucking said seven times, I think.

Speaker 3 That's what he calls it.

Speaker 3 We call it desigual.

Speaker 2 So the thing with Paige is not happening anymore? No, that's just

Speaker 2 I can only say it when she's not.

Speaker 2 I'm kind of like in.

Speaker 3 Well, she's going to watch this, so why don't you pitch into that camera,

Speaker 3 pitch Paige for a round two. Maybe you can earn something with her in this right.

Speaker 2 Paige, if you are watching this, I'm kind of a nerdy guy. You mentioned that you like

Speaker 2 nerdy guys.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 do I have to say more of that?

Speaker 2 Very good. I think that should close the deal.

Speaker 2 I think you should say more.

Speaker 2 What can you offer in a relationship? She was looking.

Speaker 2 What could you offer in a relationship? Go ahead. Honestly, I don't think I can offer too much.

Speaker 3 You have a good job, you have a great family, you're a good-looking guy.

Speaker 2 That's not a good idea. That's decent looking.
Okay. Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Yeah. But she can still.

Speaker 2 If she's interested, she can.

Speaker 2 These guys have my phone number in my Gmail. Okay, yeah.

Speaker 2 Just let me just send a message.

Speaker 2 I don't want to put her in harm's way.

Speaker 2 I'm a cool guy. I can say that.
I mean, you should have pitched that. You shouldn't say, I can't offer anything.
That's what you said. I can't offer anything.

Speaker 3 You want to round two it? Go ahead.

Speaker 2 We're still rolling it. Yeah, round three.
Go ahead.

Speaker 2 I'm a rock fucker. I'm a cool guy.
Kind of nerdy.

Speaker 2 I'm a cool guy. Did I say that?

Speaker 2 You fuck hard.

Speaker 2 You fuck hard. I don't think I can go past.
You soft. Fuck soft.
You fuck. I don't think I can go past 30 seconds.
Is she okay with that?

Speaker 2 Ask.

Speaker 2 I know you say

Speaker 3 they call their fans rock fuckers.

Speaker 2 Yes. Oh, that's awesome.

Speaker 3 And you said I'm a rock fucker.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Because I'm a fan.
You mean

Speaker 2 cut off the 30 seconds? The 30 seconds. Cut out that.
Cut that out. You know what I mean? No, leave it in.

Speaker 2 I think I can do better in round two. Oh, so you do a nut fast and then the second round, you can last a minute.
But

Speaker 2 don't blame me if he goes the same way. Okay.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 I need practice.

Speaker 3 How's this episode been for you?

Speaker 2 I don't think the hand is good enough to practice.

Speaker 3 Do you want other women to warm up to Paige? You need another girl to warm up to Paige.

Speaker 2 No, no,

Speaker 2 I'm talking about myself.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Well, Carlos is going to search for an escort in Albany right now. Yeah.

Speaker 2 They're not expensive, but

Speaker 2 it's not pretty.

Speaker 2 Look at the Asian one right there. The number one.

Speaker 2 I don't think, like, ex-collection. Oh, she's black.
Because I need to have that connection. You're right.

Speaker 3 Right. You want to fall in love?

Speaker 2 I want the,

Speaker 2 you know, the connection of knowing the other person. Right.
That's great. But she doesn't know about me, though.

Speaker 3 Well, she's got to get to know you.

Speaker 3 And you're a get-to-know guy.

Speaker 2 We can go eat sushi on a date. Okay.

Speaker 2 I can tell her about some animals. Yeah, I think that's that business.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I guess that's you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She says that she's half Asian, so yeah, you drop the ball.
It's on her plane. Yeah, I think it's a dead.
I think it's dead.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Can we go? What about Ethan?

Speaker 2 We can't just call celebrity. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 He's not celebrities.

Speaker 2 I mean, if I call Ethan, what would you say? Because I'm a little nervous because this.

Speaker 2 No, let him do it.

Speaker 3 You might as well.

Speaker 2 I can talk to Ethan because he's a guy.

Speaker 2 But what are you going to ask him? Because I don't want to call him and then have you like...

Speaker 2 I already know that Olivia is not on the show at the moment because of

Speaker 2 stuff going on right now.

Speaker 2 I'm afraid to call him Check Hollow. I think you should.
Okay. I will just tell him that I love the podcast.

Speaker 2 He's my number two.

Speaker 2 I'm number two.

Speaker 2 Hello. Ethan, it's Bobby.

Speaker 2 Yeah, how are you? You're on the Bad Friends podcast right now. I just want to let you know.

Speaker 2 Okay, great. How are you everybody doing? We're doing great.
We have a super fan here, and he wants to talk to you, if that's okay.

Speaker 2 I'm expecting something odd. Let's hear it.
No, there's not going to be anything odd. No, he's odd.

Speaker 2 He's odd for sure.

Speaker 2 Okay, so I'm not hot. Yeah,

Speaker 3 you're going to talk to him for a second.

Speaker 2 He's had some questions to ask you, okay?

Speaker 2 Okay, go ahead. Yeah, go ahead.
I'll hold it for you. Ethan,

Speaker 2 I'm a big fan of the podcast. I've been watching since the

Speaker 2 Babe Nation Days.

Speaker 2 super big fun

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 I just want to tell you that I I love the the show

Speaker 2 I don't miss a single episode

Speaker 2 get to the point you you can you can talk now no get to the point

Speaker 2 well that that's very sweet I really appreciate that who are you

Speaker 2 I'm just just a random guy no no to say your name man what the fuck man why are you in this Why are you in their studio?

Speaker 2 I got lucky.

Speaker 3 Tell him your nickname.

Speaker 2 They call me.

Speaker 2 Go ahead, go ahead. I'm listening.
They call me the... He called me the Big C

Speaker 2 because my name is Christopher.

Speaker 2 Okay, very interesting.

Speaker 2 I'm just calling because, you know,

Speaker 2 I think I like Olivia a lot.

Speaker 2 You said you weren't going to mention her.

Speaker 2 Go ahead. You see, so, so, are you a okay? So, you're a fan and you like Olivia.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Okay, you said you think, like, do you want, would do you want me to?

Speaker 2 That's great. I mean, you don't, you can like her.
It's okay. It's okay to like her.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good for you. Yeah, lots of people like her.
I like her too. She's super nice.

Speaker 2 Can I take her on a baby? No, no, no.

Speaker 2 Hold on.

Speaker 2 It didn't work out the way I thought. It got really uncomfortable.

Speaker 2 Okay, listen.

Speaker 2 Hold on. Stop.
Hold on. Percy, wait.
Hold on. Tell Big C.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 That

Speaker 2 I'm going to do everything in my power.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I wouldn't.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't.

Speaker 2 Thanks for picking up. I wouldn't.
I want to see you soon. I love you.
I miss you. And thank you so much for picking up.
And watch the H3 podcast. It's one of the best podcasts in the world.

Speaker 2 Thank you. All right.
Thank you. Bye, Ethan.
I love you.

Speaker 2 Andrew, you're there. Yeah, buddy.

Speaker 3 How are you? Nice to hear from you. It's great to hear from you.
I know it's I'm a little

Speaker 3 today was weird. Yeah, today's weird.
Today has been weird on the show. And Big C is here.
And

Speaker 3 I don't know if this was a good idea or a bad idea for him to call to talk about Olivia, but he is very excited.

Speaker 2 So are you like a stalker, Big C? No, no, no. I'm not casually interested.
I'm not. I'm actually interested in.
He's a nerd. He's a sweet guy.
Sweet guy.

Speaker 2 Just to be clear, you haven't googled her address or anything, right? No, no, no, no. I don't know.
No, no, no.

Speaker 2 All right. Well, I don't know.
I mean, it sounds kind of like serious. Do I need to call the police? I know, I know, I know.
That's why I got uncomfortable. So,

Speaker 2 what?

Speaker 2 Do I need to call the police? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.
We'll take care of it on our end.

Speaker 2 I apologize for bothering you. Thank you for picking up.
We love you so much. And

Speaker 2 bye bye.

Speaker 2 Bye, Bye, buddy.

Speaker 2 I keep dropping both. We're not calling.
I'm not calling anybody.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not working out.
It got uncomfortable quick. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Don't you think? Yep.
Yep, yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't think I ran out of auctions. Those are the two of the ones that I like.

Speaker 2 You know, I don't know.

Speaker 3 I don't know either. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 3 I think we created a monster.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. But now I'm out there now.
Yeah, you're out there.

Speaker 2 Thank you all for

Speaker 2 the opportunity.

Speaker 2 Can you look in the camera and say thank you for being a bad friend? Thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 2 Was I looking at the camera?

Speaker 2 I don't know.