May The Labubu Be With You (Mike Mitchell, Shaun Diston, Patty Guggenheim)
Listen and follow along
Transcript
Boy, Sticker Shock, huh?
You know what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about prices.
They're going up, up, up, up, up.
At the gas pump, the grocery store, rent.
But you know what?
At Metro, they got your back.
They actually have lowered their prices and they're giving you a five-year price guarantee on talk, text, and data.
One line, now 20% lower.
Family plans, also lowered.
Oh, get this.
You get a free 5G phone, all with no ID required, no activation fees.
So stop by your neighborhood Metro store.
Visit metro byt-mobile.com or call to find out about their amazing offers.
Bring your number, not available if currently at T-Mobile or with Metro in the past 180 days.
Guarantee covers monthly price of on-network talk text and 5G data for customers activating on an eligible plan.
Exclusions apply.
Details at Metro by t-mobile.com.
At the University of Arizona, we believe that everyone is born with wonder.
That thing that says, I will not accept this world that is.
While it drives us to create what could be,
that world can't wait to see what you'll do.
Where will your wonder take you?
And what will it make you?
The University of Arizona.
Wonder makes you.
Start your journey at wonder.arizona.edu.
Red sky at morning, sailors warning, red sky at night, and you might just be dealing with a permanently red sky.
Thank you very much to AA Rizzle Dick Drizzle for that catchphrase submission.
Hoi bae.
Thanks so much, and welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week.
My name is Scott Auckerman, and we have an exceptional show coming up a little later.
We have a spiritual advisor, and we also have an energy reader.
So,
oh, very
holistic show today, for lack of a better word.
Although I'm sure better words exist for it, but for lack of me not knowing a better word in the moment.
Don't look at me.
Don't look at you.
Okay.
I'm not going to look at you the entire show.
Is that okay?
Let's do this back-to-back.
I've never done an episode back-to-back with someone.
Perfect.
Thank you.
I would love to do that.
First, before we get to them, let's get to our guest of honor.
Wow.
He is
making his, I'm going to have a second appearance on the show.
I don't know.
Second?
Well, well, I have you, though.
Me, as me, yes.
This is my second appearance.
You're joining the exclusive Two Timers Club.
I can't believe it.
First, first time here was for the pandemic classic, The Tomorrow War, as myself.
I remember that.
That was a huge deal.
You got cast in it.
Yes.
And
it was going to be life-changing for you.
Yes.
And then did anyone watch it?
Who knows?
That's the fun thing of a pandemic movie.
No one ever.
I wanted to.
Yeah.
I really did.
Is it worth even going back to it at this point?
I think that Tomorrow War is more fun than people.
I wish it was on a big screen.
Would it have been a box office failure on the big screen?
I don't know.
I don't know.
It was a great concept, and I wanted to see you in it.
And then it just pandemic got me too down.
You know what I mean?
I mean, that was the issue I think a lot of
people didn't want to see an alien invasion movie during that time.
I know.
We're too busy coughing and wheezing.
But now you're back because I'm back, baby.
Season two of a little show called Twisted Metal is coming out.
The first three episodes are coming out on Peacock this Thursday.
This Thursday.
Many honks to you all.
That's right.
Many honks to everyone.
I don't know what that means.
I guess that's a horn because the show's about cars.
Is that what it is?
Yeah, that's where my brain was.
Okay, many honks to you.
And many honks to him.
Please welcome back Mike Mitch Mitchell.
Thank you, everyone.
Thank you for having me here on a very holistic show, I've heard.
It is,
there's no other way to describe it as far as I'm concerned.
But, Mitch, it's great to have you back joining the exclusive Two Timers Club.
It's great to be here.
And Twisted Metal,
first, let's go backwards in your career.
We started in Media Res.
Oh, sorry.
We went too far back.
Let's go even further back.
Oh, no, it's C-Sperm.
No, you're you.
Many people know you, of course, as one of the sketch members of Seminole sketch group, The Birthday Boys.
Yes.
Good thing I don't know what seminal means because I don't know if that's an insult or what the deal is.
No, I can't quite tell.
It's like ballistic.
I'm baffled.
But you were a member of The Birthday Boys, which had approximately 28 white men
in the cast.
A show that would surely be made in today's.
Now, what was the audition process?
Was it like you saw a person of color and said, no, no, no, no.
Or was it just like you and your friends basically started a sketch group?
Let me say this.
The seventh member that was almost another member that was also a white guy.
But the birthday boys was
on your very radio show.
That's right.
Back when you were on radio.
With Mark Marone, who's ending his tenure on WTF.
When you see the podcasters retiring, I don't know what you're doing.
I know.
Do you want to make a lateral move and instead of being the co-host of doughboys you can be the sole host of wtf with with wow wtf with mike mitchell yeah
it's a double m that's that's the only requirement double m name welcome back mr obama
now first things first you'd never get into the birthday boys
um that that is something by the way also uh mitch is the co-host of the doughboys podcast uh a podcast i've been uh happy to be on for a good three times.
You just told me a great idea for a return visit.
I'm going to be coming back.
Last time I was on,
I came in at the tail end of a huge fight between you and the other co-host.
And that episode was released, the one I was on.
That was as bad as it got between my co-host and I.
It was very...
I forgot that you were.
And I tried to sort of broker
the disagreement between you a little bit on the air.
You were much needed.
Well, first of all, Eva Anderson was the guest right before you.
Yes.
And we never released that episode.
Yes, I saw her.
I was parking and she was coming out and she gave me a look of like, hoo-boy.
And I wondered what was good because, you know, Eva, another writer on the Comedy Bang Bang television show.
We've known each other for a while and usually she would stop to chat, but she was in a hurry to get out of there.
She was, and also a person who was very loving and
was trying her hardest to make us.
And when you came in, we had cooled down over the course of the day.
I came in during the cool down, and uh, but then we did the episode and it came up on the episode.
And I tried to, I don't know, give you some perspective, but as as little as I have.
Here's the thing: you doing your show, being the, the, the, the maverick, the solo host, that's the way to do it.
That's, I, I, that's, that's what you should do.
I honestly think that Niger Niger.
Oh, no, never getting to the first eight points.
Oh, boy.
Is that his nickname?
Should it be?
I mean, it's N.
Weiger.
It's like a Branjolina, right?
I'll never attempt to say it, but I believe.
Oh, dear.
Nick Weiger.
He's the weak link, isn't he?
Oh, yeah, 100%.
Of a weak chain.
But
as you know a writer on your on your show that's right yeah for many a season uh a a a a true genius um
uh well obviously it's coming for me he well he he wrote uh probably the favorite most favorite sketch of anyone on that show he wrote the the man crave man crave man gave god why can't i talk to him the man cave oh yeah
yeah yeah yeah whichever everyone constantly like reshares every year he's he i mean i would say both of us difficult people, maybe, in our own ways.
I don't know when, like, when he was at writing at your show, was he like playing solitaire?
Was he doing like
30 different tasks?
Yeah, I don't know if he ever even spoke.
Yeah, that's possible.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I, someone had to tell me he was a writer later.
I don't know.
But, uh, but I don't know.
You're, I mean, yeah, I mean, you're probably, everyone's a difficult person, though.
Yeah, I mean, I love the guy, and that was, that was the, that was the, the nadier.
Yeah, the nadir.
Thank you.
Yeah.
That got me nervous too, for whatever reason.
America's become too woke.
We can't say anything these days.
Not even French words.
Is that a French word?
We're both difficult guys.
I think people want us to retire like Maron, basically.
I think they want us to be.
No, people love the Doughboys.
Are you 15 years?
16 at this point.
16 years, yeah.
What do you think?
What's the off-ramp?
Oh, yeah.
What's the off-ramp?
I'm just trying to grind it out till 20.
I don't give a shit anymore.
I'm having Mike Mitchell on the show.
He's in the two-timers club.
You didn't have to put all this in the email, by the way.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I don't give a shit.
I'm having you on the show again.
But the things are going, we've since that episode, here's the crazy thing, because I feel like you were just on, that was 100 episodes again.
It was two years, I would imagine.
Two years ago.
Wow, yeah.
We just did our 500th episode.
We went on tour.
Nick doesn't like to tour.
He doesn't like to travel.
Which I get.
He has a family.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, his wife.
Yeah.
Feels disingenuous to say family when it's just a wife.
He has three video game consoles.
I mean,
close enough.
When I say family, I mean a wife and another podcast that he probably prefers.
He does.
He very much prefers it over Doughboys.
But
we've been on a good streak.
That's good.
You know, sometimes something like that can bring people closer together.
I think so, yeah.
I mean, like, still, I wanted to kill him.
That's okay.
I think
people can get into arguments,
and it's sometimes better than just letting a grudge just fester.
Fester.
I get that one.
From the Adams family.
Yes,
that's how I know most of my words.
It.
The other words.
He's a great man, and I don't know if he wants to be in show business.
But he's very funny.
And that's what I always say to him.
Do you think he should come on this show and defend himself
and talk shit about you?
I don't even consider this talking shit.
This is not talking about you.
I think he would agree with me on a lot of this stuff.
I don't think he wants to do.
I think he was very much questioning whether he wanted to do show business.
And I said to him, like, you got, there's nothing else you got going on.
Kind of.
Do you remember when you guys, the birthday boys taped your
pilot in front of a live audience and he did the warm-up?
And I didn't even know it was him.
I knew it was someone doing a fake thing, but he did a fake warm-up guy and had to do then, then.
He had planned on doing
like a half hour.
Yes.
And it turned into four or something.
Yes, yes.
I believe it was, it was, I mean, there was a lot of Bob breaking things down moments in between all that stuff, and it ended up being about four hours long.
But I got to say, he knocked it out of the park.
He's so funny.
He was so, he was so funny.
Yeah.
Funny guy.
Good podcast.
Have him in here.
Have him talk shit about me.
He'd love to.
I would.
He should do a response show.
Yeah.
I would love that.
And Doughboys, of course, can be found wherever podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts.
Wherever you get your podcasts.
That's right.
And but we're here to talk about something a little more twisted.
Something a tad more twisted, maybe 9% more twisted.
Twisted Metal is back, baby.
This is the television show that's been sweeping the nation.
It's out on Peacock, the first season, entirely out on Peacock.
And now the second season, the first three episodes coming out this Thursday.
Take me through Twisted Metal like I'm some dumb dumb fucking idiot who doesn't know shit about dick.
All right.
I can do this.
I can do this.
The PlayStation 1 video game console.
I'm out.
Who am I, Nick Weiger?
There was a game, which I have, I just on Doughboys recently said that it's aged.
It kind of sucks to play now.
Is that mean to say?
I was looking at it.
Is it because
it's hard to play difficult to play because of how rudimentary it is?
Yeah,
it's aged, you know, it's aged poorly, I guess, in time, but not like the story and all that stuff is very fun.
It's just a matter of America's so woke now.
Yeah, that's the issue.
You would never have half these characters anymore.
But
it was
a bunch of crazy characters in a battle royale
kind of racer game where you would shoot missiles at each other.
So
you would race cars while shooting at people.
Yes.
I wasn't a PlayStation kid.
I was a Nintendo kid, so I didn't, I didn't play, but my friends had it, and I saw it, and everyone knew it because of the clown, Sweet Tooth, which is the, you know, he's the...
There's a character who's a clown.
Yes, and his name is...
Well, his name is...
I don't know.
What's his name?
Something...
I'm looking at our producer to figure out what the fuck his name is.
Kane, something Kane, Marcus Kane?
Needles Kane.
I don't know.
I'm going to have some...
I'm looking at the Wikipedia on this.
I can't find any information.
The Twisted Metal subreddit.
It's going to be so mad at me, which is the same 12 guys.
Do you think it's important as an actor to know the names of the other characters in a scene?
Or you could probably just, like, unless you have to call one of them the name.
Yes.
Who gives a shit?
Like, just take that out of your brain space.
Who needs to know the names of the other people?
They try to have me overlap with the least amount of actors possible.
A lot of monologues behind the wheel.
But that's the thing.
In Twisted Metal, you guys are driving cars.
Yes.
Cars only fit four people,
maybe five at a time.
So it's like, you know, normally you're just driving it by yourself.
Like you're going down to the 7-Eleven to get,
you know, I don't know, a big gulp eggs.
What do you get at the 7-Eleven?
Big open eggs.
Always.
That's my,
I haven't been into one of those things.
I missed 7-Eleven.
Probably, probably a decade.
You haven't been into a 7-Eleven.
7-Eleven is maybe my favorite grocery store.
I went to one in Tokyo, actually.
And they're very
in Thailand, actually.
In Thailand,
and it's like where people mainly shop.
they're they're they're they're they're very i've heard that they are very the the in japan the the seven elements are very nice yes they are very nice yes it was also it was a 7-Eleven day just recently where you can get a free slurpee and I missed it and it was I want to save that $1.29
the embarrassing thing of a 40-something man walking in to get his free slurpee
please
so I skipped it this year I didn't do it this year
yes there's a lot of crazy characters and we're behind the wheel a lot which leads to a lot of monologues that you're going.
I was, I was in who do you play?
I play Stu of
Mike and Stu fame, which in season one, uh, at the end of the season, you see uh sweet tooth come in and slash up my buddy Mike and then pull me off into the distance.
So,
pull you off into the distance, like he masturbates you,
yeah, he pulls, he pulls me off of the distance.
It was a very far-shot.
This is a weird show, but I gotta check it out.
And we did that practically,
no CGI, no CGI involved, okay.
I was begging for it.
But yes, I drove a lot with
Sweet Tooth Stew because I'm so low.
And you see now that this is not a spoiler because in the trailers you've seen that Stew is still alive.
Okay.
And Sweet Tooth Stew.
What?
What are we talking about?
Sweet Tooth is the Clown.
Sweet Tooth is the Clown.
Yes.
And
he is played by Samoa Joe, professional wrestler Samoa Joe.
And
his voice is Will Arnett, though?
His voice is Will Arnett, yes.
Okay.
And
shouldn't it be reversed?
You know what?
I think Will Arnett should be the body and Samoa Joe should be the voice.
I agree.
He's out there hawking credit cards.
I will also, I'll say this.
Will Arnett, iconic.
I love him.
Love him.
Iconic guy.
Worked with him a couple of times.
He's the best.
Great credit card salesman has an iconic voice and does a great job.
And then also, but it is that sort of thing of when I was doing scenes with Joe, no one will scare me more than a professional wrestler screaming in my face.
I mean, Joe, Joe is
so he actually screamed, he's not just supposed to mime everything.
He is, he's not, not only is he acting, he's acting like phenomenally.
He's he's great, he's so great.
Where's his voice then?
Who do I gotta talk to about this?
Maybe Will Arnett.
I have no idea.
Will, you're fired.
Could I fire Will Arnett?
I give you permission.
Podcaster to podcaster, you're fired.
It's a podcast.
Mount Podnore.
Mount Podnore, you?
And then all the smartphones, the smart listeners.
Yep.
And then you guys munching on burgers behind us.
We're visiting.
And so we also have...
Who else is in this?
Oh, well, of course, Anthony Mackey is there.
Anthony Mackey is in there.
The Falcon/slash Captain America himself.
I did a great job with Anthony Mackey where we were talking about Thomas Hayden Church being in the first season.
The Sandman him.
I swear to God.
I'm sorry, Adam Sandler.
I was just thinking about Adam Sandler.
I wanted to bring him up.
He remembered that Haffy Gilmore 2 was coming up
around the same time, I think.
It is very close to, we're very upset about it.
So he called me.
I'll tell you two stories.
He called me and I tried to talk him into doing Doughboys.
And he talked to me for a full hour.
This is Mackey?
No, this is Thomas Hayden.
This is Thomas.
You tried to talk Thomas Hayden Church, who's reticent to do any press or even roles.
And he said yes to doing it.
And then the strikes happened and he could not come out.
And so Thomas Hayden Church was going to do.
And he talked to me.
I was like, oh, I'm just going to call.
It was my mom's anniversary.
My dad's passed away.
We're going to go out to dinner.
And I thought it would be a 15-minute call.
He talked to me for like an hour and 20 minutes.
And I love, I love
sideways.
But
everything else, wings.
He's like, I got to bring my daughter to college.
He was like saying all this stuff to me.
It was great.
And then at the end, he said, hey.
Tell your mom the sandman said happy anniversary.
That's what he said at the end of the call,
which was great.
And then your mom was like, Adam Sandler, which me happy anniversary and i was like no thomas hayden church went oh she was upset about it but he's not in season two now he he he he he was killed at the end of last season i'm so sorry yes i know i was very upset i i i truly love thomas he was he was he was great um but he uh so i was saying to mackie on set this year i was like Thomas Hayden Church was so great.
And you know, I was like, I was like, you know, like, he should have won an Academy Award for Sideways.
Right.
And I was like, who won it?
And I looked it up and it was,
what's his name from Million Dollar Baby?
Clint Eastwood?
No, no,
from God, Morgan Freeman,
for a Million Dollar Baby baby.
You don't want to say that around Anthony McCain.
Well, I was like, Thomas should have won, like, Million Dollar Baby, that movie.
And like, Morgan Freeman should win for a million other things.
A great actor.
But I was like, I was like, Thomas Hayden Shirt should have won.
Like, no one cares about Million Dollar Baby.
And I was like, have you ever worked with Clint Eastwood?
And he's like, yeah.
And I was like, what movie?
And he's like, Million Dollar Baby.
And I was like, fuck.
And then he just was laughing at me.
He did not.
He did not.
He did not care.
Oh, okay.
He's very funny about stuff.
Is that one of the most embarrassing things?
I mean, I'm, as you know, I'm.
I'm fair with me calling Nick Niger.
I am, as you know, as you have known me now for many years, I just am constantly embarrassing myself.
I was wondering if I've been, from our first Mark Maron visit, if I've become any less nervous since you've around Mark Maron?
Around Mark Maron.
So I guess I should be asking you this.
Yeah, I don't know.
The birthday was came in, and we were actually, we were, the gag was that we were like the airheads.
Yes, you were, you were taking this is this is like episode, this is when we were still was it on the radio?
It was on the radio, so it must have been in the first 50 or so episodes.
So I couldn't drop a single F-bomb, I'm guessing, at that point.
Actually,
they, it was internet only radio at the time.
So, but they didn't want me to curse.
And then I believe a couple of comedians came in and immediately said the C-word.
And they were like, ah, they're famous.
Who cares?
Dave Ferguson?
Yeah.
So Samoa Joe was the guy who I was with a lot of the time.
But a lot of very, very funny people on the show.
Patty Guggenheim is on the show.
Lisa Gilroy.
Stephanie Beatriz.
Stephanie Beatriz.
Oh my God.
Who has a
number one single, I believe?
She's the best.
With what?
With the family Madrigal or Bruno thing.
Oh, we don't talk about Bruno as well.
Yeah, we never talk about Bruno anymore.
What's wrong with us?
I just watched Encanto the other day because I had a weird scene.
But go ahead.
I hadn't seen it.
And Stephanie came in and recorded Doughboys.
So I was like, I'm going to watch this before she comes in to record Dough Boys because she's been very mad at me for not watching it.
For not seeing it?
For not seeing the movie.
And
by the time she went to the movie.
And she tried to track down every single person who hasn't watched that movie because everyone's seen it.
That's her mission.
There's only a few of us left.
But
by the time the show started, I had a half hour left.
So
I didn't finish the movie.
She was mad at me again.
Sounds a lot like me with season one and two of Twisted Metal,
of course, which comes out this Thursday, season two.
The first one is Morrow War.
We're going to get you on the
streaming, Scott.
I got to watch all of your stuff.
I've watched Love, of course.
You were very funny on the Paul Russ Netflix show, Love.
Yeah, great job, they did.
And along with Claudia,
yes, the best and Gillian, Gilly.
And
Twisted Metal, Metal, though, it's coming out now, and it's basically like post-apocalyptic future.
Yes.
It'd be weird to be a pre-apocalyptic future, right?
Yeah, I guess that would be.
Or just like the last thing you see is just a nuclear bomb going on the last episode.
And everyone dies.
We don't know.
The Simpsons might be a pre-apocalyptic future.
They've been building that for 20 years.
20 goes off and they all die.
I worked over there.
I should have gotten into some of the hidden places.
That's right.
You worked at The Simpsons.
You ran lunches, right?
Yes, I ran a very important job, mind you.
Yeah, I was to The Simpsons office, incredibly important, very, very important.
But that is the thing.
I mean, like, I was, I was talking about this recently.
I was like, I was an assistant to the writers over at The Simpsons, and the person I was talking to was correcting me.
I was like, so that's very different from a writer's assistant.
So, I was like, Yes, I got like a hundred yogurts every week, and that was the end of my job.
I like that was that was it, but I did I highlighted scripts, and I did what for the Simpsons for the voice for the voice actors.
Oh, I see.
So, like, Dan Castellanetta comes and you highlight all his lines.
I was highlighting all of his lines.
Yeah.
Bird search dough.
Actually, annoyed grunt is what it is in the script.
Is it really?
It is.
It's annoyed grunt in the script.
And then I still.
They should just write dough.
Why are they standing on ceremony at this point?
Just write dough into the fucking script.
They should write dough into the script.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They did write dough into the scripts because Nick Wager and I were in an episode of the
right.
The dough boys.
The dough boys were in there.
We're right there.
Yeah.
And
it's always fascinating to me that shows like that will make fun of a show like mine, but not ask me to do it.
Nick Kroll has this show.
What's his show called?
The animated show he has?
The crazy teens show.
Crazy teens.
Big mouth.
Big mouth.
No one was.
Yes, he fucking draws me in it and then doesn't let me do the voice.
What is going on with this guy?
He's got to get you in there, and the show is over, I believe.
The show's over now.
Can they do one bonus segment?
He should have drawn David Caruso in it and then had me do the voice.
Does Caruso do you?
No, no.
He swears that because it's a drawing of me and Paul F.
Tompkins, and he swears it's supposed to be a drawing of David Caruso and Dennis Franz, I think.
Anyway, what is going on in Hollywood with all this voice replacement?
What is happening in Hollywood these days?
I have no idea.
You're the perfect person to talk to about this because Twisted Metal comes out this Thursday.
Yes.
And anything you want to tell the fans about what you're up to in this season?
It's bigger this year, not me.
Well, me too, actually.
I am.
I did get size-wise, I did get a little bit bigger.
Um, we have Jason Manzoukas, we have Chloe Feynman, both gone season two, not in season two.
Spoiler alert, gone.
They were in season one and they were very funny.
Uh, but uh, this year it's bigger, the action is crazier.
We got a lot of funny, uh, a lot of funny people coming in this season.
You're gonna, and like I said, Lisa Gilroy, Patty Guggenheim, uh, uh, uh, who else?
Anthony John O.
Anthony Kerrigan, John O.
Wilson, Anthony Kerrigan.
I mean, Metamorpho himself.
I mean, Metamorpho himself is there.
And he's great as Calypso.
John O'Wilson is in there.
It's a blast.
Incredible.
Tyler Johnson.
I know everybody.
Andre Kim.
I should just list them all off.
They're all.
Yeah, really.
We got to check out the channel.
Rich SchaClerk.
Want me to keep going?
Mike Shaw.
Not in the slightest.
Okay, all right, yeah.
But
the season two comes out this Thursday,
three episodes that day, then two episodes the following Thursday, two episodes the Thursday after that, two episodes the Thursday after that, and then finally finishing it out with three episodes the Thursday after that.
Yes.
So people can, I mean, this is like a five-week commitment.
Yes, that's, it's, you're saying that like it sounds like too much.
I mean,
if someone were to come up to you and say like, hey, would you want to watch my TV show over the next five weeks?
It sounds too much.
I'll say this.
They can patiently wait five weeks and watch it all at once, too, if they want to.
I think they should keep everyone in suspense about TV shows where one comes out and then you never know if there's going to be another one.
Like, I love Lucy.
First episode comes out.
You're like,
that ruled.
So Peacock is making an announcement.
Like, Twisted Metal has been renewed for the second episode.
I think that's fun.
I would like it.
That'd be cool if they did shows one episode at a time over decades instead of
you guys have 12 in one year and then another 12 next year.
Way too much.
Way too much.
One episode over 120 years.
I love this idea.
Intuitive Metal is perfect for it.
I just want to give a shout out to, I mean, Joe and I were.
Are we giving shout-outs on this show now?
We are?
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
Go ahead and give your shout out.
I, I just, I loved working with Joe, and also he, he, like, manhandles.
Who the fuck is Joe?
Samoa Joe.
Oh, okay.
Uh, who, uh, who, who, he, he, like, I, I, I've said this, but, like, it, as a big guy, it's so nice to, like, be like, it made me feel like a little boy again, that he could, like,
did he ever pick you up and hold you in his arms?
He did occasionally, yes.
I mean, he is that strong that he can do it, and he would just like whip me around.
I was like, Well, I
like haven't felt this way in forever.
He whipped you around at the end of this season,
he whips me around, he whips me around all through the season, and we all we also both get hurt because there's a lot of action, so everyone kind of gets hurt at some point during the season.
This is fantastic.
Well, I got to check out this show, you got to check out the show.
Also, I drove in a male truck for most of the most of the summer that has no you didn't request a female truck.
I should have have
it's the bird like i do with my masseuses
in any case twisted metal enough with the jokes twisted metal comes out this thursday and we all want to be watching it peacock of course where you get traders uh in deal or no deal island yes uh they have they they have non-reality shows too and this is one of them who would have thought bringing the briefcases to the island would have made such a huge difference that's the secret bring everything to the island bring twisted metal to an island i would i would i would love that Twisted Metal Island.
I'm going to an island soon.
I'm going to Hawaii for the first time.
I've never been.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Have you been?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe only 20 times.
Really?
Oh, that's right.
Yes, I knew that you went.
I'm excited to go.
Okay.
Well, if you see Mitch in Hawaii, give him an aloha.
And aloha.
Yeah.
You won't know whether you're saying hello or goodbye.
Or goodbye, which is fine with me.
But you're hoping it's goodbye.
I'm hoping it's goodbye.
All right.
Twisted Metal comes out this Thursday.
We have to take a break.
When we come back, we have a a spiritual advisor.
We also have an energy reader.
Mitch, I'm so glad you're on.
Sure, holistic.
You can stick around, right?
Of course.
All right, fantastic.
We're going to take a break.
We'll be right back with more Mitch.
More comedy.
Bang, bang.
We'll be right back after this.
Bye.
The best B2B marketing gets wasted on the wrong people, right?
I mean, I remember once I bought tickets for a Broadway show, and for the next six months, I kept getting ads for the show I'd already bought tickets to.
I kept saying, I know, I know I was on the website.
I know I visited the website, but I saw it already.
Sometimes it just doesn't work.
Well, LinkedIn has grown to a network of over 1 billion professionals, and that's where it stands apart from other ad buys.
You can target your buyers by job title, industry, company, role, seniority, skills, company revenue, oh, so many things.
All the professionals you need to reach in one place.
Stop wasting budget on the wrong audience and start targeting the right professionals only on LinkedIn ads.
LinkedIn will even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign so you can try it yourself.
Just go to linkedin.com slash bangbang.
That's linkedin.com slash bang bang.
Terms and conditions apply only on LinkedIn ads.
This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Squarespace.
Whether you're just starting out or maybe you're scaling your business, Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with Squarespace's collection of cutting-edge design tools.
These are real tools, by the way.
It's like a hammer.
Squarespace reached out and they said, we invented a new hammer.
It's cutting edge.
I said, please, hammer, don't hurt him.
And we all laughed.
But in any case, they have some great tools.
And anyone can build a bespoke online presence that perfectly fits their brand or business.
Start with Blueprint AI, Squarespace's AI Enhanced Website Builder to get a fully custom website in just a few steps using basic information about your industry, goals, and personality to create premium quality content and personalized design recommendations.
And every dream needs a domain, doesn't it?
Well, Squarespace Domains makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive all-inclusive price, no hidden fees or add-ons required.
Head over to squarespace.com slash bangbang for a free trial.
And when you are ready to launch, use offer code BangBang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
At the University of Arizona, we believe that everyone is born with wonder.
That thing that says, I will not accept this world that is.
While it drives us to create what could be,
that world can't wait to see what you'll do.
Where will your wonder take you?
And what will it make you?
The University of Arizona.
Wonder makes you.
Start your journey at wonder.arizona.edu.
Comedy bang bang, we're back.
Mike Mitch Mitchell is here.
That's right.
Of, of course, Twisted Metal fame.
Do you get recognized on the street from Twisted Metal?
Is it a different audience than would watch the birthday boys?
Meaning an audience?
There is an audience for this show, which is nice to have a show that has, you know, like you're guessing whether anyone saw it ever.
Yeah, you know, I've been approached and a lot of people have thought that I played the clown.
They thought that I thought that, yes.
Wait, they recognize you from Twisted Metal, but they think you're the clown.
They were like, you played the clown?
I was like, no.
Also, I don't,
he's a wrestler.
He's like a professional athlete.
He's in good shape, but they thought I played the shirtless guy with there's a lot of weirdos out there, and there certainly are.
None of them actually try to assassinate you because I would, I wouldn't see you.
Why are you putting that into the world?
That's what weirdos do.
I don't want to be assassinated.
Well, actually, whatever.
Do you think that would help my like my legacy in Hollywood if I got assassinated?
Would it cement your legacy?
No, I think people would still just
20 years later just not really know.
Yeah.
I mean,
I mean, yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I think that it would make me Hollywood.
Like, that is the only way I can be a Hollywood legend.
So, you know what?
I'm open to any assassination attempts.
You'd rather be a Hollywood legend than still be alive.
I mean, come on.
With your loved ones.
Yeah.
I mean, they're all right.
They're okay.
My cats.
My mom and sister.
Massachusetts.
Yeah,
I would miss them.
So don't, on the other hand, yeah, don't, don't, don't come at Mitch if you see him on the street, other than to say aloha.
Thank you.
That's right.
All right.
Well, we need to get to our next guest.
He is a spiritual advisor.
Please welcome for the first time on the show, Yoda.
Hi, Yoda.
Young Ackerman.
Again, hello.
Again, hello.
I mean, you didn't say hello
more than just that time.
So good to see you, I am.
Yoda, so good to see you.
I'm pretty sure I recognize you from
the
movies, the Star Wars movies.
Have you seen these movies?
The Wars up in the stars?
Not only have I seen them, I enjoy them quite a bit, except for the nuance.
Disney Star Wars.
The Disney Star Wars.
You enjoy Disney Star Wars?
I'm not like the biggest Disney Star Wars.
I mean, I don't want to tell you that you're, I would never say this to someone's face.
I think you've done great work in all the movies.
Yoda's not in those, though.
So he doesn't care, right?
He does appear.
I am in the new Disney Star Wars scot.
Where were you in these movies?
Well, of course, I show up in The Last Last Jedi, Scott.
Doing what?
I don't remember.
I show up and I light the tree on fire and I say, hmm, young Skywalker.
Hmm.
Do you do it with a laser or something?
Or what?
No, I kind of like meditate for a second and then lightning comes from the sky.
And I say, young Skywalker.
Always looking to the horizon.
Never here.
Now.
Hmm.
Okay, so you were in The Last Jedi.
I apologize.
I'm not, you know, necessarily.
I appear in Rise of Skywalker as well.
Even when you were saying that that's what you do in Last Jedi, it sounded like you didn't even like it that much, honestly.
I think it's good.
Oh, you do?
Okay.
Best Yoda?
It is.
No, no, it's not.
We are what we grow beyond.
That is the burden of all masters.
Remember that?
That's from the movie.
Not really.
I mean, The Last Jedi, it is.
These are not iconic lines.
Iconic it is young argument.
Like, try or do or do not.
There is no try.
Like, that's an iconic Yoda line.
These ones you've been doing from The Last Jedi.
I barely.
I don't like much fear in you, I see.
Yeah.
The dark side, I see.
That one's okay, yeah.
But in any case, yeah, you're short, you're green.
That's right.
You're a Jedi.
I'm a mean machine.
You're a mean green machine.
I'm short.
I'm green.
I'm a mean machine.
I don't remember.
What movie is that from?
Christmas specialities.
Okay.
All right.
Life Day, of course.
Of course.
But welcome to the the show, Yoda.
It's so great to meet you.
You're Ackerman.
You're so iconic.
You're a movie star.
You only star in these Star Wars movies.
I'm in television as well.
Yeah, but Star Wars-related?
Yeah.
Why haven't you ever branched out into other things?
You know what I mean?
Like, people love you.
You should be in your own non-Star Wars related movie.
Podcast I should have?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Or like a heist movie or something.
Interview Obama, I will.
But, like, you know what I mean?
Like, the Italian job, starring starring Yoda.
Should I be in the Italian job?
Yes.
Driving around one of those MIDI Coopers upstairs.
You'd fit in a Midi Cooper.
It looked huge on you.
I do drive a MIDI Cooper.
Do you really?
That's right.
That's that makes that makes sense.
For me, it's just a Cooper.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes.
I also noticed you have a green drink here, too.
It's a good green drink.
People say, is that your gizz?
I say, no.
Smoothie, it is.
Apple, banana, and ginger.
And also spinach inside.
Oh, wow.
Does it taste good?
Good?
It tastes.
I think
he mixes up the syntax of his sentences.
So he's saying it tastes good.
Thank you.
You just got to kind of reverse everything.
Easy to do.
It is not.
Oh.
Why do you do it then, Yoda?
Is it just you want to seem cool?
Well, if you ask George, it's so compelling.
Because I noticed in Empire Strikes Back, which was your first screen appearance, you don't even do it all that much.
I do it like once or twice.
And then they're like, oh shit, that's what everyone liked about Yoda.
We got to keep doing that.
and then you just lean into it.
Yeah, I think it's fun.
Well, now that was fun, you think it is, yeah.
Oh, there it is.
So, sometimes you do just sometimes, it's just hard to do, keep up with
it, sometimes hard to keep up.
It is, yeah.
So, Yoda, what are you doing here?
You're a spiritual advisor.
Yes, uh, what's been going on with you?
You're not really in movies or TV all that much anymore.
I am in the acolyte.
Oh, okay.
My ears perk up at the end of the season.
Yes, I gotta watch this.
Row walks into a room and says, Master Yoda.
And then, you don't really see me, you just see my ears.
You see the ears.
Okay.
That's cool, I guess.
And then, but what are you up to these days?
I'm going around doing press for Disney Plus.
You're going around doing.
I also,
you're doing press for Disney Plus?
Yes, of course.
Okay, okay.
Affordable it is.
Oh, what about good content it has?
I'm trying to push peacock here, Yoda.
Peacock, yeah.
Peacock, yeah.
I mean, Peacock,
it's every color of the rainbow.
We're not talking about Peacock.
Which includes green.
We're talking about Disney Plus.
Okay.
Disney Plus with Hulu.
Affordable, it is.
And ESPN as well.
If you want the bundle,
it's only $26.99, it is.
A month?
If you want the premium bundle, no ads.
Are there people out there who are like Marvel and Star Wars fans who also want to watch ESPN all the time?
I mean, come on.
What are they thinking?
I don't.
Well, they do show a lot of trailers on basketball games.
That's good.
You might see the Superman trailer or something.
Yoda, I saw, I was watching an old episode of Empty Nest, and I saw you as a guest star on there.
Are you not going to do any more like a
nosy neighbor?
You were the nose neighbor with
the white-haired man there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You were really funny on it.
I am not seeing anything on the internet about that.
Did you go by a different?
A hallucination you had?
I don't remember that at all.
Of course, I do remember being on Golden Guard.
Oh, that's what it is.
That's what it was.
That's probably what it was.
Yes, yes.
So you knew what he was talking about.
You were just being an asshole.
Asshole, I was being
pricked that can be sometime.
Speaking of assholes, how do you feel?
No, no, no, no, hold on.
How do you shit?
Yes,
that's a great question.
Because you're an alien, we don't know whether you have one.
Many mysteries surround I.
Yeah, yeah.
Me.
Do you shit and piss?
I do not shit.
Oh, wow.
You don't?
No.
Is this like a Harry Potter thing where the wizards shit on the floor and then they
evaporate it away?
The Minichlorians in my bowels eat all my waist.
Oh, my God.
The living force.
That's.
Minichlorians eat shit.
Interesting, it is.
It's hard.
Canon, it is not.
Canon, it will be.
It will be.
So shit, no one piss?
Yes.
Piss, you piss.
Oh, you piss.
So you have a penis.
For fun, I piss.
Oh,
just for fun, you don't have to get rid of it?
No.
I didn't like the admitted Lorians eat my piss as well.
Sometimes it's good to just drop trow and light something up with my piss.
Yoda, why did you ask me if I could hook up your iPad for this music if you're only going to use it once?
So I thought that music just appeared when you came here.
I had no idea it was an iPad.
iPad I needed to hook up.
I mean,
was it worth it?
Just in case I needed to use AI to look something up.
Oh, so you're an AI, bro.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that sucks, Yoda.
They're building a data center on Dagobot.
You're not as wise, honestly, as I thought you were.
You don't think I'm wise?
Oh, no, Yoda, Yoda.
Oh, my God.
Put the fuck down.
Put the lightsaber down, Yoda.
We don't have lightsabers.
Okay, okay.
I'll put it down.
Actually, I do have a replica right over there.
Replica, it is.
Not the real thing?
Not a working lightsaber.
No.
The lightsaber came out of your iPad.
Like, it's extended from your iPad.
That's why I brought my iPad.
Oh, my God.
This is an Apple iceaber.
Yes.
It uses USB-C to charge.
Seems worse than a regular Kyber Crystal, I feel like.
Young Mitchell.
Oh, yes?
I've heard that you don't like Disney Star Wars.
I don't love, I mean, I told you
I've heard from around town rumors, if you will, yes, that you don't like Disney Star Wars.
What is your issue with?
What's your bone?
Um, I thought the movies, they just, they didn't, they didn't work for me for whatever reason.
I didn't, I didn't, I, uh, you work they did not.
The work they did not, you did, you looked very different,
many millions of dollars they made.
That is true.
People did go out and see them, but that doesn't always mean that ours.
So do you?
You must fuck.
Wait, what?
Oh, what?
What does that mean?
Do I have to fuck myself?
Oh, is that your thing to tell me to fuck myself?
Oh, the syntax again.
You, you must fuck.
You, you must fuck.
Is fuck you.
Like, oh, okay, you, you, you,
hold on.
Give it another try, you must.
I've tried it quite a few times.
You look very different.
I don't know if you're like.
For a movie you don't like, you've watched these probably five times.
Yes,
I've watched them truly far too many times.
For movies that are essentially you don't like.
Yeah, just making me angry.
But
I think that in The Last Jedi, you look weird.
I don't know if you got work done or if you're not.
Like a puppet?
You look very different.
The original puppet.
You do not look like the original puppet.
Yeah, I mean, you look kind of like.
You wear body shaming now.
Is the face part of a puppet?
I don't think you want me to come back at you with that.
No, I mean, no, please don't.
I think that would be really bad.
Long COVID, you must have.
I do have long COVID.
Recognize me, Yuduna.
It seems like you got like a brow lift or something.
You look very different.
Botox.
Fillers.
There's no wrinkles.
You sit there, Botox.
You look very shiny.
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You look very different.
So you say I look different, but I look good.
You look very good.
A compliment, it is.
It is a compliment.
You look good.
You're looking great.
What if I told you there was some new Disney Star Wars that you might like?
Oh, I mean,
is this Exclusie?
we, are we.
I'm going to break off a Sclusie.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
Okay.
Yeah.
It hit us because it's been so long since we were in the news.
Actually, I said that on a recent episode, and then Karen Gillen mentioned she got married in a castle.
And that made
the UK papers.
Oh, my God.
So it's,
I mean, it's been a while since Tatiana was on this show and dropping fake She-Hulk spoilers that get picked up by the comic book press.
But this is exciting.
Esclusie here.
Stop this will get.
Okay, yeah, let's hear it.
Ray.
Young Ray.
Huh?
Your favorite character.
Oh, yes.
Wait, is this Jamie Foxx?
But young Ray?
That is my favorite character, Young Ray, from Ray.
Yeah, from the first 20 minutes of Ray?
The sunglasses he wore.
Blind he was.
His father didn't want him to play the piano.
It's like, how are you ever going to find it in the house?
I'm going to make it do what it do, baby.
No, No, Ray Skywalker, of course.
Oh, the new Ray movie.
Yes, yes, it's been in development for a while.
Cool, yeah.
Are you excited to hear the plot, young Minch?
I would love to hear the plot.
Oh, my God.
This is really an exclusive.
In the new Ray movie, called The New Jedi Order.
Yes.
Ray will travel back in time using the world between worlds.
Okay.
To the moment.
Okay.
No.
Okay.
Where, you know, Vader's looking at Luke and he says, no,
I am your.
And
before he can complete it, she's going to show up and say,
he's your father.
He's your father.
So she will spoil it for Luke.
That sucks.
Canon of the change.
That sucks.
I hate that.
Why?
First of all, you also did, you didn't do this in any, you didn't go backward.
The syntax you've just dropped completely.
But this is, I think.
When I'm doing a pitch?
Oh, okay.
You dumb it down for.
No, for these executives, you really got to dumb it down.
Yeah, yeah, got it.
So, yes,
back in time, she will go.
I mean, these are the only good Star Wars movies that exist.
Why are you going to ruin these?
Change
the whole story, we will.
No, that sucks.
Wow, you don't go back and say, he's your father, he's your father, run, run, run.
His hand, he will not lose.
That's he barely even loses it.
It's like the next time you see him, he's got a robot hand, robot hand not needed, and then he never brings it up again.
It is like an error in these movies that he never brings up his robot hand again, right?
Like, he's never like, ooh, this itches.
This makes jerking off, he's allergic to metal.
This is a good idea.
Oh, no, no, I'm not suggesting
Disney Star Wars prequel it is.
No, this is Yoda.
Yoda, don't ruin these great movies.
It's a good way to go back in time, Tease.
He's your father, he's your father.
Then he'll run away, run away, run away, run away.
Then they'll go slide out the bottom and go, wee!
That is the movie?
So it is just
that will be the beginning of the trilogy.
Oh, God.
What else happens in in the other two movies?
Oh, she goes back in time to...
Oh, come on.
Why?
She goes back in time to revenge on the Sim.
Oh, okay.
And then she says to
Obi-Wan Kenovi, he says, hey, he's actually not the chosen one.
Come on, Yoda.
It's a quick scene, but it changes the entire trilogy.
I don't want to...
I don't hate Ray.
But I don't need to.
A woman, she is.
Yes, I know.
What is your issue with Ray?
She auditioned to be in the Birthday Boys, and we just, we don't like her stuff.
Oh, okay.
She was kind of like a bad thing.
Scott booted.
Vendetta, you have.
Here's my question.
Do you have a vendetta against
Are you excited for that?
Is there a Yoda character in Spaceball Scott hasn't seen?
Oh, you haven't seen
Then you don't know about Yogurt.
Oh, I guess not.
You don't know about Yogurt?
I know Darth Helmet.
Now I know about Yogurt, I guess.
Yogurt, played by Mel Brooks himself.
Yogurt, I do not like.
Problematic, it is.
Oh, really?
In what respect?
Green face.
Oh, my God.
Not right, it is.
You know what?
I'm not going to argue against that.
Do you want to hear about the new Disney Plus television show coming up?
Yes, sure.
Certainly.
Young Finn.
Dr.
Finn.
Young Finn.
Young Finn.
Oh, no, no, no.
It's not about a young Finn.
It's not like a prequel anything.
No.
This is a continuation of Rise of Skywalker.
Oh, okay.
So, Finn, we love Finn.
Finn.
Yeah, Finn.
I mean, he was handled perfectly in a way.
He was handled moving, so I know.
Yeah.
A Jedi should not have been.
Black people with lightsabers.
Uh-uh.
Although, you got Jar Jar.
You got Jar Jar.
Oh, Char Jar's black for sure.
I just mean the guy who plays Jar Jar, he had a lightsaber.
That's right.
Unless that went Mace Windu, isn't it?
Mace Windu.
Mace.
But his lightsaber was purple, probably like his dick.
We don't want to speculate about the color of it.
Cannon, it is not.
Okay.
Cannon it shall be.
It
No, but well, Finn, at the end of Rise of Skywalker, wants to go find his family.
Yes,
I remember this bullshit.
I don't remember this, but it's been a few years since I was.
So, of course, where does he go?
But Canto Bite.
Crazy.
Canto region?
Because Canto region.
Because, you know,
there is, there is, you know, there's a guy in the comedy world I'm friends with who like loves these Disney Star Wars movies, and I can't tell if he's like trolling me to try to make me like them.
But I, yeah, yeah.
he's a very funny guy right
and he has good taste a lot of the time but he loves these Disney Star Wars movies okay he worked on twisted metal oh oh
I've heard about this guy I've only I know his manager yeah yeah yes yeah yeah yeah but I've never met the guy yeah he's a he's a good guy but he good guy he is I've heard stories about him recently about like how he used to teach improv and he would sit in in the audience like he was a student and then talk to the students and going like, oh, I wonder what the teacher is going to be like.
And then he would stand up and go, congrats, you've all just done improv.
Oh, my God.
Classic bit, that is.
He sucks.
Yeah, that does suck.
Who rules this guy?
Sounds like.
Finns finds his family.
Where's his family?
Canto Bite?
The Great Casino Planet, if you know.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And of course, why didn't he see them there the first time?
Was he there that first time?
Just missed him sliding door situation.
Oh, okay.
But when he sees his family, John Boyga plays all of them, kind of like the clumps.
Oh, okay.
This might be good.
Oh, the Finns.
The Finns.
The Finns.
But he'll love this because he was underused in the last couple.
So now he gets to be all the characters.
Yeah, I love this.
His grandmother's like, hey, Finn,
what the heck?
What are we doing?
All those white guys
is Hercules in the Star Wars universe?
Because I want the grandma to say Hercules universe.
No, instead of Hercules, she says,
she says,
Deba Balaba, Deba Balaba.
It's not a roll of fits.
I don't know.
We're still working on it.
Yeah.
Wait, wait, you're...
Are you script doctoring this?
Of course, I do uncredited script doctoring.
Oh,
okay.
Okay.
Learn from Princess Leia, I did.
That's where the real money is.
You just write a couple of different jokes in there.
Yeah.
So that must be the extent of what's coming up on Disney.
More there.
What?
What else?
There's more stuff.
Yoda prequel series there is.
Oh, young Yoda.
Okay.
Young Yoda.
Like a Young Sheldon from Yoda.
Wow.
But it's not really like Young Sheldon.
It's more like a hangout comedy.
Okay.
And how young is Yoda at this point?
He's like, you know, 300.
It's not that young.
Honestly.
My species very long-lived.
I know, but it's like, what's adolescence for you?
50.
So
you've been an adult for 250 years at this point.
It's just slightly younger, Yoda.
The show has youthful energy, but adults in it, of course.
Okay.
Because sex comedy, it is.
Oh,
so you have sex in this?
Like, new girl, it is.
Oh, wow.
Oh, okay.
I live in an apartment
with Dexter Jexter.
Oh, my God.
Mazcanata.
Oh, my God.
And Yaddle.
I mean,
do you and young Yaddle hook up?
Well, will there won't be?
There is.
I love that.
Okay.
And
she's kind of like Jess in the new girl is Yaddle.
A tease she is.
Oh, oh, wow.
You thought that jess was a tease like a cock tease that's right yoda just should have been giving it up shouldn't be called women cock teases i just think coach was hot
she should have fucked coach i think that was lamord i i i i i i auditioned for coach audition
i did i certainly auditioned for coach auditioned also
that you guys that know that guy sean diston did oh did really you audition
coach wow when damon waiting jr stepped away that really scraped the bottom of the barrel for casting.
Yes, John Diston and me.
An unknown John Diston did audition.
He did.
This is the truth.
In the scene, you were supposed to stomp.
Like, I was supposed to be mad, and I stomped my foot, and a light from the ceiling fell during my audition.
Whoa, and did you stay in character and roll with it?
Yes, I threw barrels at the
You thought the shot offers in the Donkey Kong movie.
Well, surely that must be the last pitch.
Still describing Young Yoda.
Oh,
Graphic sex scenes there will be.
Oh, okay.
On Disney Plus.
That's right.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Shme Skywalker is in it.
Oh, Shmee Skywalker?
That's right.
Who's Shmee Skywalker?
Mother to Anakis.
And she sadly was killed by
Banthas or something?
Yeah,
what are the little guys that
Jawas, thank you.
She was killed by Jawas.
She was killed by Jawas.
No, wait, mate.
That's not right.
Yeah, maybe.
I don't remember.
Who knows?
Oh, no.
Tuskena.
Tusken Raiders.
That's what it was.
Different allegory for people of color.
What do you think about these Star Wars movies where they have the
Japanese race of aliens?
Yeah, what are you doing?
Trade Wars, they were.
You had a quick question.
You say you do a lot of script doctoring.
You could have changed a lot of that.
You could have changed all of it.
Okay.
That's geez.
Okay.
Because the trade wars have.
I said that to to Trump.
Oh,
oh, wait.
Why are you talking to Trump?
We text.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
We love Yoda.
We don't want.
We don't want to.
I become wise, and I see the darkness in him.
We don't want our memories of Yoda to be sullied like this.
Yes.
Wait, before I go, I gotta do one thing.
We want to be sullied like Sully.
That's right.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Young Mitch.
Yes.
You like Disney Star Wars?
I do.
I do.
You do like Disney Star Wars.
I do like Disney Star Wars.
Yoda, you're right.
It's true.
You know what?
Maybe Last Jedi is good.
Interesting point.
What was that?
I don't know.
Your guest Mitch said it.
Maybe he'll say it again.
You know what?
Maybe Last Jedi is good.
Interesting.
What the hell?
This is crazy.
Is this a Jedi mind trick you're using on me?
No.
Genuinely like you do.
do oh my god i do i like the last jedi wow this gotta
this is incredible we're gonna be making news on two fronts you your spoilers and you liking the last jedi and there's a new twisted metal game coming out i don't know if that's true that's not true at all Also, I do want to say, there were articles about me biting Yaddle at a press event, and I gotta say, total bullshit.
Okay, I saw that.
All right.
We want to make sure we get that out there.
You know, we were just being playful.
Okay.
All right.
All right, Yoda.
Well, thanks for dropping by, I guess.
Can you stick around?
Can you?
This isn't really the spiritual advisor kind of segment that I need to spiritual advice.
But coming up next, we have an energy reader.
If you need spiritual advice, might I point you to the Disney Plus bundle with ESPN, Hulu, and FX for $26.99 a month.
Yoda.
That's almost $300 a year.
Can you plug Hulu has live sports?
So what?
So does Cable.
Young Yoda, can you please plug cockpea, please?
Yeah.
Metal twisted on cockpea.
That's thank you.
We thought the syntax would have him say peacock, but it didn't work.
Oh, well.
Look, we have to take a break.
When we come back, we're going to have an energy reader.
This is very exciting.
We'll have more Yoda, more Mitch.
We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this.
It's Stock Up September at Whole Foods Market.
Find sales on supplements to power up for busy weeks.
Plus, pack your pantry with pasta, sauce, and more everyday essentials.
Enjoy quick breakfast for less with $365 by Whole Foods Market seasonal coffee and oatmeal.
Grab ready-to-heat meals that are perfect for the office and save on versatile no antibiotics ever chicken breasts.
Stock up now at Whole Foods Market, in-store and online.
You know, when you think about game day,
you might not think Wayfair, right?
I I mean, they're two, one's two words and one's one word, first of all.
That's confusing right off the bat.
And then they're totally different
letters, although the A's, there still are two A's, but the G and the M, those aren't in Wayfair, and the W and the
Y is in both.
I mean, this is pretty similar, actually.
Game day, Wayfair.
I mean, you might think about it, but one reason you should is because Wayfair, right?
Wayfair is the best kept secret for incredible and affordable game day finds, whether you're upgrading your tailgate with coolers that stay cold or patio heaters that stay hot.
Cold things should stay cold and hot things should stay hot, right?
Wayfair has something for every style and every home, no matter your space or your budget.
They even have decor and merge from your favorite sports teams.
And the best part, Wayfair offers free and easy delivery, even on the big stuff.
And when you're talking big stuff, here's what I ordered from Wayfair the other day.
I mean, when I say I, I mean Kulop.
Kulop ordered a bunch of holiday stuff.
She ordered a giant skeleton for Halloween,
a rabbit sitting with a ladybug.
I guess that's year-round.
That can just stay out there forever.
So yeah, so Wayfair's not only got stuff for game day, but also has a bunch of holiday stuff that my wife likes.
In any case, Wayfair is your trusted destination for all things game day, from coolers and grills to recliners and slow cookers shop save and score
goal today at wayfair.com that's w-a-y-f-a-i-r.com wayfair every style every home
you know between busy schedules or schedules if you're from england and summer plans sometimes all you've got is a couple of minutes in between things you're doing, right?
Well, factor helps you eat smarter, not harder.
I don't know how you could even eat harder.
Eat smarter with tasty, chef-prepped meals that are dietician approved and delivered right to your door.
And now with more than 65 weekly meals made for how you live and what you like to eat, you've got even more ways to fit in a real meal wherever the day takes you.
I like factor meals because I have a busy schedule.
These things are very, very easy to prepare.
Sometimes I'll be like, oh my God, I only have 20 minutes from in between this podcast I did and all of the talks with my financial advisors.
And I look in the fridge and I go, thank you, Factor.
You're here for me.
And then boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boom, they're ready.
I'm ready.
I eat it.
Schmeet it and beat it.
And you can do it too.
Eat smart at factormeals.com/slash bangbang50off and use code bangbang50off to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year.
That's code bangbang50off at factormeals.com for 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year.
Get delicious ready-to-eat meals delivered with Factor.
Offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase.
Comedy Bang Bang, we're back here with Mike Mitch Mitchell.
That's right, of course.
I like the Mitch in quotes more.
Well, people would wonder why I'm calling you Mitch if they don't know your mitches.
That is very true.
Yes, yes.
Everyone calls him.
Too many Mics.
That was the rule.
Too many Mike.
I know more Mike Mitchells, too.
I had three in my phone at a certain point.
You know what?
I used to get the Mike Mitchell, the director of the Chipmunks movie.
Yeah, the Shreks.
The Shreks.
Yes, yes.
He still texts me quite frequently.
On holidays.
He seems like a very nice man.
Very nice man.
I would email my manager and my agent and say, hey, can you give me a list of money I've made over this year?
And they would send you his list of money?
They would send me his list of money.
And let let me tell you, those chipmunks pay pretty well.
Wow.
And I was like, no, I'm the guy who made under $100,000 and under $50,000 and under $20,000 and under $10,000 and under $1,000.
Oh, no.
Also, Yoda is here.
His music started again.
Apologize, I must.
Oh.
Oh, Yoda, what do you have to apologize for?
Big, dirty shit I took in backwards.
Oh, no.
You know, you saying it backwards doesn't make it better.
Also, didn't you say that your Minichlorians eat the shit?
Yeah.
For fun?
For fun?
Oh, you did it for fun.
Sometimes it's good to stretch things out, don't they?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
All right, look, we need to get to our next guest.
She's an energy reader.
Please welcome to the show for the first time, Deb.
Hello.
Can I hear some of your music?
Oh, sure.
Oh, yeah.
Let's hear.
Sorry, you just got to hear it.
Yeah, let me just get into this.
Let me just get into this.
A little bit of this.
Let's all just take one big, deep, deep, deep breath down, down, deep into where you would sit.
Okay.
So everybody's breathing.
Okay.
So everybody's deep.
Oh, yes.
Get deeper.
I feel that we could all get a little bit deeper here, huh?
Huh?
Okay.
Thank you.
Now, I feel so wish we begin.
Let's begin.
You're Deb, it's so nice to meet you.
I'm so happy to be here.
I've been wanting to be in this space for so long.
I've felt the energy of this space.
Anytime I'm in the hills, I can feel the space of this very room.
Oh, this room.
I thought you meant the podcast space, but you mean this literal, just this room.
Yes, I feel the energy emanating and ruminating.
Interesting way of talking she has.
I was going to compliment your way of talking.
I am very honored to be with you, spiritual advisors yourself.
I don't ever get usually face to face with such spiritual advisors.
It's very, this is a big day for me.
You guys have similar kind of points of view in a way, I would imagine.
I mean, you're an energy reader.
What exactly is an energy reader?
So anything and everything has energy,
including people.
So I'll read their energies, colors, auras, palms.
You know, just books if you have them.
Book.
Books.
You'll read books.
Whatever you have.
Yeah, I have a few books i like to have you ever read the corrections no
oh you got it i like to expand my palette always but you know i like to take take what people don't give me uh verbally or visually and i like to feel
feel what it is that's coming off of you oh okay
yes that's why i'm here okay great yeah i'd love to see everyone here has a color really do i have i have a color you do
Can you tell me what it is?
Can you breathe for me into the mic?
Yeah, sure.
Into the mic.
Long COVID?
Yeah.
You can tell that?
A long COVID.
You could tell just
deep orange, green, yellow, some blue, a little bit of sapphire.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Silver.
Oh, my.
I thought it would be just one color.
Yeah, that's that's like five or six.
Yeah,
that's a lot of color, isn't it?
So when you walk into the world, you emanate an energy that is all of that.
Orange.
What does it mean?
Orange?
I mean, that's a good question.
Orange blue.
It is a good question, yes.
Good question, it is.
It means that you're bringing in what is known as the past.
your past lives.
Okay, okay.
But then you're also tapping into what is known as your higher life.
Oh.
So you're bringing it all together in this moment and you're emanating something unique to you.
Oh.
So it's like a little bit of a...
Don't we get that just from his face though?
Because like we look at his face and we recognize who he is.
And that's unique to him, right?
Yes,
that is a very good point.
I will say my business has not been going great lately.
Oh, no.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to.
No, no, no.
You're poking holes in my business a little bit, but it is, I will be honest, I've been the energy healer to the stars for years.
Which stars do you mind us asking?
Robin Thick.
Oh, my God.
Robin Thick.
Robin Thick, yeah, that's, I mean, Alan, his father used to be on the show.
Yes.
Oh, Alan was on the show.
Until he passed away.
Maybe even after.
I'm not quite sure.
Maybe once or twice a year.
Honestly,
I think he's here with us right now, if I'm not going to lie.
Yes, I do feel it.
Has he been watching this show since he passed away?
He has a few notes.
So, Robin Thick.
Robin Thick.
I was with Danny Bonaducci for a bit.
The Douche.
The Douche, Kate Moss.
But I have not really been working with them lately.
They have not been requesting my services.
I think it's the economy.
So I have been selling laboo-boos
as well.
That's what those are.
Yeah, I guess you have some in your dreams.
I did.
Are you trying to sell them to our listeners or to us personally?
Well, if you guys
interested, I have a few here in studio to show you.
I would love to see.
I've seen a couple of these things.
My wife has some, and they're frightening looking.
I understand it.
I do not.
I don't quite get what the call is.
I feel like you, of all people, would really want something like this.
They hang from your.
They're about as big as you.
You hang from your little rope.
I need a Yoda.
Yoda size.
A boo-boo.
A Yoda-size rope.
What about baby Yoda?
Isn't that kind of a...
Oh, you know what?
Hey, what do we think about Grogu?
You do not like Grogu, it seems like.
I like Grogu.
He's a good guy.
Does Grogu need a...
Does Grogu need a Lou Boo?
Maybe, maybe he needs one for life date.
Agreed.
Well, I'm trying to get my services back hopping in L.A., but for some of you.
Well, maybe we could help.
Yeah.
So
let's do an example of these readings,
and maybe our listeners will want to order them to.
Call in to you, and then you could tell them to refer them to me.
I don't have a cell phone.
I will say that I read interesting energy of Ackerman.
Interested to see what you see.
Yes.
Yeah, what do I?
What are you saying?
A little bit of a.
It's like a dark, dark energy.
Yes.
Yes.
Dark what?
Just energy.
Despair, yes.
Despair and fear.
It's a slick.
Something slick.
Slick.
Oily.
Oily.
Oily slick.
I thought they were going to give you a color.
I didn't know that there's
a
jizzy energy.
A jizzy energy?
No one's.
Look, Deb, if I were to pay an energy reader to read my energy and they said I had a jizzy energy, I don't know that I would have to do it.
I haven't seen any money yet.
Okay, but you're here for promo purposes, right?
Yes, yes.
Well, a jizzy energy is, of course, Star Wars version of jazz.
Oh, that's a good point.
Oh, and that is Canon.
That is canon.
Although, I believe Canon has been changed regarding that.
I just think think we should be.
I think we should be happy with a jizzy energy because a jizz is what can be a creation device.
That's life.
That's life days.
So we're getting life from you.
Okay.
Okay.
So, like a crispy white, very crispy white aura.
Crunchy.
Crunchy.
How did you learn you had this ability?
I was born in New
Guinea.
Oh, okay.
Papa, New Guinea.
I can see it going there.
I thought you were going to say Jersey.
And I
didn't have much there, just one hut.
Just one.
One.
Thank you.
It was not a pizza.
Not a pizza.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shoot.
That's what I was thinking, too.
They left me, my family left me there.
So I spent a lot of time wandering around the village, the city, and I worked with different individuals there, and I would start reading there.
Do you remember when you first knew you had a disability?
Yes, I was at a mango stand.
This place sounds beautiful.
And I looked over at the mango
garcon.
And I said,
sir, there's something emanating.
oozing from off of your skin.
Wow.
Wow.
And it was a bright, bright yellow, hot yellow light.
Mango color.
It was the sun.
Oh, it was the sun.
It was the sun behind him.
It was the sun behind him.
Oh, okay.
But then
I was like, hold on, sir.
There's something...
Were you
in your past life a dragon tamer?
And he said, yes.
Interesting.
That is.
So he already knew this.
Yes.
And then
you just asked me
whether he was.
I felt it.
Because normally people would go to you and then you would tell them what they were.
Right, but the first time I had, I didn't know my power.
I don't know.
Oh, I see.
So he confirmed it.
He had already confirmed it.
And I was like, there's something here.
Okay.
I started reading into people and their palms.
Then I like to touch hands.
I love that.
Do you want to touch Yoda's hand here?
Yoda's hand.
Fingers here.
Wow.
Scott, have you ever been to the mango stand at 30 Rock?
I think so, yeah.
They extend like the hand mango.
Oh, exactly.
Reading my palms, she is.
Yoda.
Oh, wow.
You You have a big year ahead of you,
pitching worldwide.
You're going international with your Disney Plus pitch.
She's right.
Oh, my God.
I see you going across the pond.
You are meeting with an exec at a London studio.
Yes.
To meet to discuss
your next project.
My next project.
Oh, my God.
Wow, this is incredible.
And you are, you're having babies.
You're having kids?
Yoda.
Yoda, have you ever, do you have any children?
Well, you seem like a bachelor.
You give off bachelor and protection.
I always wear.
Come on.
Do you wear a shitty on that?
Wow.
Magnums I use.
Magnums.
Magnums, Yoda-size Magnums.
Let me show you.
Let me show you.
Okay.
I don't want.
Oh, my God.
There it is.
I like that.
That's nice.
Babies I'm having.
Yes.
Babies you're having.
And Mitch.
Yes.
I'm feeling something crazy for you.
Oh, no.
Babies I'm having?
No.
Okay, thank God.
You are.
You're bringing goats?
You're bringing goats?
You're bringing goats?
From where to where?
I don't know.
Those details.
Goats, goats, goats.
You're bringing goats.
Okay, now, that could mean the greatest of all time.
Oh, my God.
You're bringing me.
We're bringing together the greatest of all time onto your podcast, Doughboys.
LO Kooje is going to be on my podcast.
That's incredible.
Oh my god, daddies love him.
Yes, it's fantastic.
Yes, maybe it's a time.
And you two will be going
in the house, he will.
Maybe I could do a deep blue sea reunion or something on the podcast.
That would be fantastic.
Something like that's coming for you.
It's that blue sapphire.
It's coming out.
It's huge.
This is
big.
It's a big time for you.
Big time.
Prepare yourself.
Start eating only steak.
Yeah, start.
Steak, you must eat.
Change your diet, you must.
Yes.
Screens you must lay off.
Okay.
So no sides.
I do eat steak quite often, but just only steak.
Okay,
that's what I'll do.
No vegetables.
I mean, if this leads to
school day, you I'm sure must be a great podcast guest to be on Careboys.
Yes, yes.
Yes.
You must be mentally sharp.
Oh, my God.
I must say, Deb, having been abandoned by your parents, you sound a lot like young Rain.
Oh.
Well, I do feel a kinship with her.
You do?
Yes.
Maybe you are the chosen one.
I'm here to tell you that I am the chosen one.
Okay, interesting.
It sounds like she was just listening to what she
really believed.
I honestly don't want to take Ray's sunshine.
Yeah, you don't want to take her sunshine.
I don't.
Her sunshine?
You don't want to steal her sunshine.
You don't want to steal her sunshine.
She's a Ray of sunshine.
She is.
That's right.
But I do say we have a lot in common.
Is that right?
We've been loners, and we have to.
You've been loners, you've been growners, you've been midnight toners.
Steal her sunshine.
Yes.
Yes.
Well, this is this is.
Do you see anything else for me other than this jizzy, oily energy?
Like, can you tell me what's coming for me?
Yes.
Do you drive down Sunset Boulevard much?
I mean, anytime I want to go to the
Roxy?
The hip clubs, you know?
Viper room.
The saddle ranch.
Yeah, the Viper Room.
I love these people.
The Saddle Ranch, yes.
I see something
high up on Sunset Boulevard for you.
Okay, high up.
Something like...
Could you be on the, you know, there's a mechanical bowl if you're maybe the mechanical bowl at the saddle ranch.
You see, it's being flung from
a bowl?
Okay, that makes sense with what we just said about the mechanical bowl.
But something high up in the sky.
I see something like maybe a big, big blimp that's flying by Sunset Boulevard.
Okay, so I'm driving down Sunset and you see a big blimp above me?
Yes, and it has a message for you.
All I'm saying is keep your eyes peeled and open.
Does it say ice cube's a pimp?
He's one of the goats as well.
He's one of the goats.
Maybe he'll be on Do Boy.
Yeah, these are the details I can't iron out yet.
These are the details I want.
The details you have are really of no use to me.
Well,
it's coming, but it's probably gonna need a little bit of money.
Oh,
okay.
Well, I mean,
can I talk to you guys over here?
Do you mind if I talk to you?
No problem at all.
I'll talk to myself over here.
What's up, Yoda?
Afraid she is?
Question mark?
I'm scared I am trying to rip us off.
She is.
I haven't heard anything really of use other than, I guess, LO Cool J being on Doevo.
Yeah, which is pretty nice for me.
Pretty nice, but honestly, I don't.
When my palm she read, my wallet was lifted.
Oh, no.
Don't know where my wallet is.
We need to find your wallet.
We gotta get my because real ID must have.
Deb, can we talk to you for a second?
Yes, no, I was just over-admiring your stacks of books and DVDs.
Yeah, the corrections.
You gotta read it.
Look at all these toys you have.
Yeah, well, these are comedy bang bang action figures.
A childy is.
Perhaps someday there will be one made of you, Deb.
Oh,
God, she'd be gorgeous.
So many colors.
Deb, can we ask you to do something for us?
Do you mind emptying out your purse?
Yeah.
We're looking for Yoda's wallet.
Yes.
It's gone missing since you came on to this third segment of the show.
It's green.
It says bad motherfucker.
Bad motherfucker, I guess.
Did you get that custom made, or did Pulp Fiction sell a Yoda version of that?
I think he just painted the Pulp Fiction one green.
I'm going to run to the bathroom.
I've run it into the bathroom.
Oh.
It's running to the bathroom.
Okay.
Running into the corner of the room.
Not sure where the bathroom is.
It's the room.
There's a door.
It's right over there.
Actually, yeah.
Yeah, please don't go in the corner.
Okay, I'm back.
Oh, okay.
Hi.
Can you empty out your purse for us, please?
Sure.
Listen to the keys making that chicken chicken noise.
Yeah.
I love it.
It's just mainly keys, a few laboo-boos, and lip gloss, some sticks of cinnamon.
Hold on, hold on.
Honey, honey.
Mitch, do you mind emptying out your pockets?
Mitch?
Mitch.
Okay, lots of keys.
Lots of keys.
Oh, a couple of laboo boos in there as well.
There are a few laboobus.
What's this?
What's this?
I'm sorry, Yoda.
Mitch.
Mitch.
Mitch raid me.
Peacock, you know, streaming residuals aren't what they used to be.
I had a little bit of a warming.
I mean,
we struck for these.
I know.
Mitch.
And you wanted me to promote Peacock.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Begun the streaming wars have.
This is bad, Mitch.
I thought, Deb, you know.
You're in the two-timers club now.
I know.
I should have been stupid.
I feel the streaming wars are going to be very lucrative for everyone here.
Oh, my God.
That's actually good news.
Okay, are they going to actually buy pitches again?
God, Dagobah is expensive.
Somebody's wanting a pitch.
Somebody is wanting a pitch.
You'd rent in Dagobah, is what I was gathering from that.
It's like, I do own, but the property is.
You rent the swamp?
I pay mostly property taxes.
Okay, yeah.
Deb, I'm going to make money.
You are going to make money.
Even though that wallet's already pretty thick and full.
So, how much should I pay you?
What?
50 bucks, 60 bucks?
No one here has to pay me.
I understand.
I feel the energy.
This is a free session.
Okay.
Okay.
This is a free session.
I was going to say, I am usually the one who has the jizzy aura when people are.
Yeah, really?
So I'm shocked that you got the jizzy aura.
Yeah,
you've got an aura.
You just kind of have jizz on your lips.
Oh, yeah, it is actually.
Something about Harry style.
I try to go off of aura, not just what's on your short hat.
Yes, yes.
Can you tell me then what the blimp is going to say now that no payment is involved?
The blimp is going to say rent space here.
A landlord you'll become.
Very much.
That's what it means.
I think what it is, the messages are coming through is that you need to advertise on more creative, unconventional sources of advertising.
This is not a bad idea.
Big bang bang billboard there must be.
Yes.
Oh, I mean, we had one for the first season of the show.
Where was it?
Was it up?
It was oddly missing for seasons two through five.
Did birthday boys ever get a billboard?
I do not believe so.
Hey.
So I shouldn't complain, I guess.
Yeah, well, you still could.
We were really getting one.
Have you done coasters?
Coasters.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I mean, I've done posters.
What about coasters?
That's right.
What about Midnight Toasters?
Come on.
You sure you must have.
I guess that's a good idea.
Go in every bar in L.A.
and just give them free coasters that say comedy bang bang.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, yeah.
Maybe you're not
an energy reader.
Maybe you're like a marketing person.
You might be.
Yeah.
Well, I'm branching out.
Okay.
With the laboo-boo business and maybe some luboo-consulting.
Seven.
Wow, for how much?
They were $45.99 each.
Oh, that's then you couldn't have made a good profit, I feel like.
Well,
they cost me $70.
Oh, so, oh, now you're losing.
I've lost.
You've lost.
But I've made people happy.
That's the most important thing in this because they can refine them.
Well, I'll tell you what, I would love for you to...
I'd love to hire you to do some out-of-the-box marketing ideas for the show.
We really could use it.
We're not getting it in the newspapers other than, of course, I believe the sun picked up Karen Gillen's wedding in the castle recently.
New New Twist Metal Game coming out, of course,
yeah.
So, yeah, I'd love that.
Young Finn series, of course, yeah.
And She-Hulk is a musical or she sings it's not easy being green.
How did anyone fall for that one?
I have no idea.
I agree with that.
I heard that show is so, so good.
I think so.
Oh, yeah.
I love it.
She-Hulk, iconic character.
The musical.
Yep.
Young Finn is about Finn from Star Wars.
I didn't know if it was a Jaws prequel or what the deal is.
Or Finn Wolfheart or Finn Wolf.
Have you been listening at all?
Long COVID ravaging you.
Look, Deb, I'll hire you on retainer for, I can really only offer you a two-year contract at,
I can only do six figures a year.
I'm so sorry.
I think that's a good start.
Is that okay?
Yeah.
Okay, great.
Yeah.
So just work up some ideas.
Next time you come back,
you can tell us your new ideas.
What's going on?
I just want to interject here.
I had to steal a wallet.
I'm clearly going through money issues.
Oh, no, Mitch.
Sorry, nothing for you.
Fair enough.
Mitch, I'm maybe needing some assistants.
An assistant.
Oh my God.
I would love to be Deb.
I would love to be your assistant.
Okay, good.
Bring your energy.
Yeah, I'm going to test you.
Yes.
Can you read my energy?
Yes.
What color are you, Kitty?
Orange, blue,
green.
Don't say Niger.
Silver, slick, slick, silver.
Slick, slick, silver.
That's it.
We have the same color reading.
Can I ask you something?
Yes.
Do you can you see like what will happen to me?
Do you know like how I'll die someday?
Or is that beyond your powers?
That's a heavy order, Mitch.
Yes.
You live to be 104.
What?
104 years old?
I cannot believe it.
Unlikely that is.
You have the longest COVID I've ever seen.
You've had long COVID since the since the 90s, I feel like
you get into the Guinness Book record for
the longest.
I'm close with the contacts there.
Oh, my God.
You get in for the longest, long COVID.
Longest, long COVID.
That's the oldest man to have long COVID to live.
And you pass at your birthday party.
Oh,
wonderful way to die.
My 104th birthday.
Yes, force vision, I'm happy.
Yes.
Oh my God.
What's going on, Yoda?
I do see information about your death.
Yes, bring it, bring it.
You do leave your birthday party where, of course, you're watching a movie and eating pizza with your friends.
Yes, that's what I do.
In their pajamas, in your pajamas.
Yes, yeah.
And you go.
You flap in the back open.
You go into the new
Americana bathroom where they've installed new bathtubs.
Yes.
They have bathtubs in the Americana bathroom.
You get in there and
edging you start.
You die goony.
I die goonie.
gooning?
Set up many screens of pornography you do in bathrooms.
I mean, I'm sure the technology by then will be there where screens will just be in there all day.
It seems more like a Google Glasses situation.
Yeah.
So you're going to die gooning in a bathroom at the Americana?
At 104 years old.
I mean, hey, it's the way we all want to go.
Well, look, guys, we're running out of time here.
I'm so sorry to say.
We only have time for one final feature on the show, and that is, of course, a little something called Plug.
Hey, that was Running Up That Plug Bag by Charles Whitbourne.
Speaking of Finn Wolfard,
no one was speaking of him.
I brought him up when you mentioned Finn.
Who cares?
He's break sometimes, I am.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know you're going to make it to the two-timers club, Yoda.
Back guy would be.
I'm not going to trot out my iPad cable again to you.
All right, what are we plugging, guys?
Mitch, obviously, Twisted Metal comes out this Thursday.
Twisted Metal comes out this Thursday, season two on Peacock.
Shout out to Michael Jonathan Smith, who created the show.
We're still doing shout-outs.
Okay, yeah, go ahead.
And sorry about that.
And then a couple other people.
Tiana Okoye is on the show.
Sailor Bell Kurta is on the show.
So many funny, talented people.
I'm on there too.
Yeah, and then there are lots of cars going Vroom Vroom.
A lot of Vroom Vrooms, beep, beeps.
And beep, beep, to you all.
Check it out, please.
Many honks to you.
Many honks, yes.
And Yoda, what do you want to plug?
Disney Plus Basic $9.99.
Oh, wow.
Disney Plus Premium $15.99.
What is basic at you?
Like, you watch the first 10 minutes of
hours.
I see a couple of Ozempic ads in there.
Disney Plus plus Hulu.
Now that's $10.99.
And I think that's actually a good deal because Hulu has live sports.
I heard Dexter Jet Sitter has started to take Ozempit.
Who the hell is Dexter Jet Sitter?
Oh, fuck.
Okay, I'm going to keep going.
Joda's fucking pissed off at me.
Disney plus Hulu plus ESPN at premium $26.99.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry, I forgot you have to keep pitching.
Okay, that's all I have to say.
And also, look, yeah, twisted metal on peacock, cockpea metal.
Thank you, Yoda.
It should be kind of fun.
All right.
That's a fun set of there.
Deb, what do you want to plug here?
Well, I was just thinking about this show you all have been talking about, and I have a feeling about it.
Really?
Yes.
It's not only twisted.
Yes.
Oh, I do that.
Oh, sorry.
You say maybe two.
But it has an element of sick surprise,
dark depravity,
and characters
killing.
So you're saying Patty Guggenheim is on the show?
I don't know.
I don't know that.
We brought it up earlier that she was.
I think people know it's a fantastic thing.
She is.
Yoda, may I speak here?
I don't know if you're going to snap at me.
I'm not a human.
Patty Guggenheim is on the show, and she's fantastic and hilarious throughout the show.
I got to check out out this show.
Well, I think it's gonna be
cool.
That is so raven.
Yes, good colors for her.
Wow.
Black she wears.
Yes, that's fantastic.
Well, what do I want to plug?
I, of course,
you know, astonishing Spider-Man.
My final issue came out last week.
What a run.
Wow.
But happy the fans are.
Yeah, they love me.
You can check that out on the Marvel Unlimited app.
And then, hey, if you're a comedy bang bang fan, you gotta get over there to CBB Worlds.
We have every single episode of this show ad-free,
almost 1,000 episodes, plus every live episode we've ever done.
Wow.
Plus shows like Scott Asn's Seen, where
my friend who's the manager.
Oh, you've been on this show.
Yes, yeah.
You did Gremlins 2 and something else, right?
Yes, Gremlins 2 and the...
God, what was the other one I
know what it was?
That's right.
Yeah, we just did that recently with you.
Yeah, that was so funny.
That was a really good movie.
We did it the day after the election.
It was the day after the election.
What a day.
The morning after.
A great day.
What a day.
And we have Scott Asnseen.
We have College Town.
We have the neighborhood listen.
Oh, gosh, I'm getting choked up
just thinking about it.
It's so gorgeous.
Don't forget, hey, Randy.
Hey, Randy.
CBB presents where people from this show have their own shows.
So much great stuff over there.
And it is relatively inexpensive, a lot more inexpensive than fucking Disney Plus.
And coming soon, that bundle is coming soon to CBB World.
A podcast I have.
Oh, Yoda, you have
there?
Yes, it's called A Podcast I Have.
Okay, sure.
Oh, yeah, why not?
I don't know what the premises yet, but
of course, Crisis on Infinite Bang Bang's coming soon as well.
Yeah, they're still working on it.
I think they're on page like 700 or something.
Yeah, we're starting at page 700.
But yeah, we're
meteorized.
Yes, exactly.
All right, let's close up the old plug bag.
Open the plug bag with me,
dude.
Open like a bag.
Open the plug back with me,
dude.
Please don't close it and feed
it.
He was skanking so hard.
That was Plug Back 2025 Ska version by Don Shaw.
Thank you to Don Shaw.
And, guys, I want to thank you so much, Mitch.
Thank you for having me.
I wish Deb had seen your near death that happened when you almost joked.
I know.
I think I'm still choking.
I do.
I wish you would have warned me about that, Deb, instead of this fucking blimp I'm going to see.
Well,
some lessons.
Yeah, but in any case,
I'll see you at the office tomorrow morning.
Yes,
9 a.m.
sharp.
Startup brainstorm.
I want the first 100 ideas or so on my desk by then.
Not a problem.
And all right.
I'll be at your garage cleaning stuff up tomorrow afternoon as your assistant.
I can't wait.
I'll just pay you in advance if that's okay.
I said it's only six figures.
I could only afford $999,999 a year, but that's fine.
That's fine.
For now.
No, for now, that's fine.
That's fine.
Minimum wage.
And Yoda, what else needs to be said?
Choking you?
I believe I was.
Force choking you?
Oh, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Lord Yoda.
It's not me.
It's.
It's Deb.
Listen.
Darth Deb.
Oh, my God.
Can't you push it to seven figures?
Deb, are you force?
What do they call it?
Force?
Choking?
No, not choking.
Force adjacent?
Sensitive, yes.
A Sith, she is.
A Sith?
Oh, my gosh.
I'm so sorry.
I'll pitch in that.
I'm sorry.
Unclench your fist.
And you wanted a few laboo-boo?
Yeah,
I'll take seven.
Take the laboo boo.
You must.
Okay, Yoda.
I don't need your fucking force convincing.
Can I just remind her that she loses money?
I know.
You really want me to buy these labooboo?
All right.
Unload this.
All right, I'll see you at the office tomorrow, and I'll see you all next week.
Thanks.
Bye.
I'm going to put you on, nephew.
All right, huh.
Welcome to McDonald's.
Can I take your order?
Miss, I've been hitting up McDonald's for years.
Now it's back.
We need snack wraps.
What's a snack rap?
It's the return of something great.
Snack wrap is back.
Hey, everybody, it's Paul Scheer, host of How Did This Get Made, a podcast that covers the best, worst movies.
This week, we're diving into the brand new War of the Worlds reboot starring Ice Cube.
Yes, the movie that got 2% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Ice Cube is saving the world from aliens via his computer.
It's so convoluted, this plot, but basically, if you have an Amazon account, you can save the day just like Ice Cube.
There is so much going on in this movie.
So join me, June, Diane, Rayfield, and Jason Manzukis, as we break down every bizarre choice and every Ice Cube one-liner on this week's episode of How Did This Get Made, the podcast that makes sense of movies that don't.